#I really want to finish my gideon version now so I can post them together

[rainbowperson]

My finished Harrow!

[dungeons-are-too-cold]

Sam Nightingale - Burned out

tInspired by @calico-and-lace ‘s post about sam and Penelope to the song no children by the mountain goats. This song has been making me think of Sam a lot. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What is there to talk about, clearly,” Sam snapped at Antiope. 

“You know what, now I’m-” and before Antiope could even finish her response, Sam interrupted her. She clearly did not want to hear what Antiope had to say. 

“I’m done. I’m done, I’m leaving.” Sam stormed off down the hall way. 

“Dreams and ideas should not be the same thing You waited smiling for this”

Through so much of growing up, Sam was best friends with Penelope who would consistently leave her and hurt her and abandon her when she needed a friend the most. In their sophomore year, Penelope even trapped Sam in a palimpsest  just so that she could be the prom queen in the plans of Kalvaxas. Penelope routinely hurt her, but she was Sam’s longest friend and so she just decided to get used to it; having thick skin was necessary to keep the friendship and she learned to just keep up appearances. 

“Oh, she'd want it If she knew She could take it, I thought too Be careful be cautious, but you just wished harder You waited smiling for this”

However, this was different now with the maidens. Sam was able to build up walls with Penelope because she knew that she would eventually be let down, or pushed down, so that Penelope could keep the power. She could prepare. The maidens were nothing like Penelope, though. They promised friendship, they were genuine and loyal and Sam new that they loved her, so she let her walls down. She let herself get used to them being around, thinking she would always have them around. Now, after talking with Aguefort about their age difference, Sam was feeling betrayed. How could Penny and Antiope just have other plans? How could they just leave the adventuring party like that? This abandonment was a slap in the face, and immediately her brain got to work at rebuilding those walls. Even though she cared deeply about the maiden’s, she was so quick lash out at Zelda, Yelle, and Antiope. She started to remember how she was hurt by Penelope, and tried to start taking back her distance from her friends.

When Yelle came to talk to her, Sam didn't want to hear anything she had to say. She didn't want to talk about it either. All Sam wanted to do was go back to being alone, to go back to being closed off. With everything that she had been through in her life, she learned to close herself off before people closed themselves off from her. After all this time, she felt like she was 15 again and her best friend from childhood was trapping her in a palimpsest, except this time it was the maidens who were trapping her with herself. It was really scary to feel like everything she worked so hard to get, and harder to keep, was slipping away from her. Yelle, with her intuition and wisdom, knew immediately that she needed to talk to Sam before she was too closed off and wouldn't be open with the maidens anymore. She was able to get Sam to crack a smile, she always knew how to make her merbae smile, and then proceeded to remind her of what being a part of the maidens really means. She knew Sam wasn't just upset about the problem at hand.

“It’s clear that something’s really bothering you because you would never have popped off at the girls like that because you know how much they love you.”

“But they love you, over and over They love you Thousands and thousands of eyes just like mine Aching to find who they are Oh they love you Oh you can feel how they love you Coated and warm, but that's all they can do Words only get through if they're sharp”

Even with reminder and the reassuring words, Sam was still terrified. It’s hard to let in all of the kindness and goodness of people you feel are abandoning you. 

“You know, we’re and Adventuring party, we are supposed to be like together for a while. Like, we’re supposed to do adventuring stuff, and go on quests, and you know, murder people. How could they not want that?” Sam choked up as she tried to get these words out of her mouth. She tried to hide it from Yelle, but what Sam was really asking was “how could they not want me?” 

Relationship after relationship in Sam’s life ended in betrayal. The people who she was closest to were the ones who hurt her and abandoned her. This was so much more than just the maidens, she was question her relationship with her mother, with her boyfriend, with her best friend. The relationship she had with the other maidens was the most meaningful one she had ever had and she was watching history repeat itself once again; she was aching from wounds past and present, and it was getting to be too much for her. She chose her words as carefully as she could, though, in an attempt to make sure her friend would never suspect that she was hurting so deeply and for so long, a bad habit still leftover from her last friendship.

I am burnt out I smell of smoke it seeps through her cracks and so I start to choke Sentences sit in her mouth that are templated You waited smiling for this

“They say you never know who your people are until you’re looking back at your life, but sometimes it's just, you just go through things with people that you just know” Yelle sweetly said to comfort Sam. She still was working on that positive reinforcement she always uses to affirm that they truly are family. It was starting to get through to her now.

“Maybe I'll talk about it”

Sam soon began to concede, “Okay, maybe you're right this time.”

“I can just talk about it” 

However, when Sam went home to the Everpetal house that night, she walked into silence. Home had never really been a relaxing space for her, but today was particularly unnerving. Rebecca had moved out earlier that day because of the divorce from Gideon, and Penelope had been long gone since the prom. All of the people she previously had shared this house with, shared her life with, were not in the picture. Her finger hovered over Zelda’s name in her contacts, wanting to apologize, that part of the new her still lingered momentarily. The call Rebecca received earlier from her mother was still stuck in the back of her head though, and drew her away from the phone. She added the conversation with Aguefort and the maidens to the list she kept of the abandonment she experienced that day , which was far too long for such a short time, and resigned to her old ways. With the idea that relationships never last looming over her head, and the texts from antipope and penny still missing, Sam retreated to a version of herself back before the maidens. There was no one to stop her, hold her hand, give her a hug, or talk her down. She trudged up the staircase to Penelope’s room shutting the door. 

“I'll never talk about it”

“Umm, Oh my god. A call without a text first? Are you out of your fucking mind?” Penelope hissed through the glass as Sam’s mirror heated up in her hands with the fires of hell. 

“You look better than you ever did alive” Sam sneered back. The two of them verbally sparred, trading insults and throwing jabs at each other just like they used to and yes, it sucked, but at least it was familiar. Being stung and stinging back was how these two communicated, and even though Sam thought she was making herself feel better, she was ignoring the fact that Penelope delights in pain and she does not. A flicker of that ignited in her but was quickly put out by Penelope’s final question. 

“What is it that you want, Sam?” 

“No, I cannot talk about it”

“You should know you're parents are divorcing,” and with that, the mirror was slammed shut. 

“Don't build hope on something broken I am not cartoon Cry for help, I am not joking I might just leave soon.”

[shadowedoracle]

RSS Gift: A Christmas Present for Mama

Happy Holidays! This is my RSS gift for @boushh2187. I’ve really enjoyed being your Santa this year and hope you like your gift! I’m also so, so sorry it’s late and you had to put up with my mixture of ill-health and poor planning. Pro-tip: if writing by hand leave enough time so if you get sick near the end you can still type it up and post on time.

I started a much longer angstier version of this but there were some key things I couldn’t work out about the world. I started writing antidote fluff for the angst scenes and ended up with this family fluff piece instead.

Summary: After giving birth to their second child Belle loses her memories. But it's Christmastime and Gideon doesn't want her to miss out on her present so father and son pay a visit to her in hospital.

Prompt: Belle loses [her] memory after childbirth

Rating: G

[AO3]

Rumplestiltskin sighed and ran a hand through his hair, before ringing the doorbell of the white mayoral mansion. He could have just appeared inside but he’d made a promise to Belle to use magic for trivial purposes less often. She would never have to know he’d done it, but it seemed wrong to conceal it from her -- especially now.

He had just come from the hospital and he couldn’t bear the idea of lying, even by omission, to her when she was in this state. She was just so hurt and confused right now but he, her husband, couldn’t do a thing about it. He had the power of all the Dark Ones but it wasn’t the slightest bit of good. No spell or potion that he knew had had any effect. So he’d had to sit by her bedside and willing her to remember, to give him some sign of recognition. It didn’t help, it never did.

It had been a week since she’d gone into labour four weeks early. A week since the last time his wife had looked at him and known who he was, really seen him to know him. Now, she didn’t remember him, she wore his ring on her finger but she couldn’t recall a single thing about him or their lives together. But how could she when she couldn’t even remember herself?

When she’d first woken up the Doctor Whale had reassured him it was likely just a side-effect of the general anaesthetic. He should have known better than to trust Dr. Frankenstein’s judgement about living patients. But as the day had progressed it had become obvious to all that it was more that that. She remembered nothing about herself or her life.

He’d tried True Love’s Kiss and all the spells and potions he could think of. All the new ones that he’d researched after the Incident with the damned pirate and more. But it had all been for naught.

The closest to any sign of memory had been two days ago, when she’d asked to look at the ring on his finger. A flutter of hope had beaten through his chest as he’d shown her the ring on his finger and had let her stroke her finger across the blue moonstone. When she had back looked up at his face as her fingertips had swirled over the stone, his breath had caught in his throat when he’d thought he’d spied a glimmer of her normal self in her eyes. But then the moment was gone as if it never were. Neither the cold stone nor the quick accidental touch of her fingertips to his knuckle had woken her. He’d masked his emotions as quickly as he could but he knew it hadn’t been quickly enough.

His Belle had always read him like a book and even if she didn’t know him any more, it seemed she could still read him.

It could be the only possible explanation for why she seemed to trust him so. He could have been anything to her. He could have been lying to her but when he had pointed that out to her, she’d just smiled told him that she could tell he was a ‘good man’. Somehow even with no memories, no sense of self she still saw the best in him.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts as Regina herself answered the door in a sleek navy skirt suit and pristine white shirt.

“Any progress?” She asked softly, as she moved to the side to let him in.

He shook his head.

She gave a sympathetic little smile,“It’ll work out. It’s hardly the first time she’s lost her memories. You’ll work out the trick to recovering them this time and soon enough your wife will have the dubious pleasure of remembering you again.”

He quirked an eyebrow, “Do I have to remind you, dearie, two of the times Belle forgot who she was, you were more than a little involved.”

She straightened a little and said stiffly, “Yes, well. I’m not that person any more. And if I may remind you, you’re not the man you were then either.”

Rumplestiltskin sighed, suddenly feeling bone tired, “No I’m not. I know you’re not involved this time anyway, dearie. If I thought there was even a chance you might know anything about this well, this conversation would be taking place in a very different setting,” he said and let his lip curl into a sardonic smile and added in a lower voice, “with much more pain.” He shook his head and shifted back to his lighter conversational tone, “And I most certainly would not be entrusting you with the care of my son. Speaking of, how has he been?”

Regina looked as if she had wanted to say something else before his abrupt change of topic but evidently changed her mind and just gestured a hand vaguely towards the living room.

“He’s been good as Gold--” she winced, having evidentially not seen that obvious pun coming, “He’s playing with Henry now.”

Shrieks of joy were emitting from the living room and Rumplestiltskin felt some of the tension leaving him as he walked towards the sound of his son’s happy laugh.

But as he stood in the doorway and watched Henry leap around the room twirling a Duplo model around in his hand and knock an arm off the Duplo model Gideon was wielding as a weapon, he also felt the familiar weight of sorrow creep over his heart. His little boy who just missed his mother dreadfully but didn’t know she might not be the mother he knew when he saw her.

Belle hated it too. She was much less distressed overall this time compared to the Incident with the pirate. The only time he’d seen her get truly upset was when she realized she had no memories of her child.

“What kind of a mother forgets her child?” She’d sobbed.

And while she wasn’t truly comfortable with him, she’d allowed him to comfort her just that once. Had allowed him tuck her into his arms where she belonged and stroke her hair, in just the pattern he knew soothed her.

He hoped what he was about to do was a good idea, both Gideon and Belle would be so crushed if this went wrong.

He stood there, just watching his son and grandson, loathe to interrupt their fun for what seemed like a long time. But it couldn’t have been very long before Gideon with more luck than anything else managed to knock Henry’s Duplo model out of his hands.

Henry fell to his knees and raised beseeching hands towards Gideon, “Oh, have mercy oh great and powerful Gideonasaurobot!”

“No! No mercy. Gideonasaurobot must punish you with tickles!” Gideon shrieked dropping his own model and launching himself at Henry.

“No! No! Anything but that.” Henry cried as Gideon’s wriggling fingers connected with his stomach, trying and failing to bat them away.

Rumplestiltskin coughed, hating to bring his son’s fun to an end but figuring he ought to save Henry from the indignity of losing a tickle fight to a three-year-old.

Henry glanced over his shoulder and smiled at his grandfather. He prodded Gideon’s arm and pointed towards the door. Gideon turned, his face lightening up as he ran and flung himself at his father’s legs.

“Papa!” Rumplestiltskin staggered back, grabbing the door frame to help him keep his balance.

He smiled as he bent down and picked up Gideon.

“So were you good for Regina and Henry?” Gideon nodded vigorously. “I was very, very good. The goodest! I even got to eat Christmas cookies I was so good.”

“Did you now?” Rumplestiltskin smiled down at his son, while privately hoping that Regina hadn’t left Gideon consume too much sugar.

“Yeah! They were tasty and I learned magic,” Gideon finished proudly.

Rumplestiltskin half-turned and shot a filthy glare at Regina; she couldn’t possibly think he would approve of her teaching his three-year-old son magic.

She crossed her arms, “It wasn’t me it was Henry."

Rumplestiltskin turned back and stared at Henry in befuddlement. Henry just grinned and started chucking Duplo back into a large red plastic box.

“I show you,” Gideon said wriggling until his father gently lowered him back down. Gideon patted his leg, “Wait here,” he said before racing off to the back of the room.

Rumplestiltskin watched him gather up his stuffed bunny and a large velvet top hat and come running back towards him.

Rumplestiltskin looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow at Regina.

She rolled her eyes, “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not what you think -- it’s just a hat.”

Rumplestiltskin felt a whoosh of relief go through him. He’d been fairly certain Henry wouldn’t teach Gideon actual magic but it didn’t stop him worrying.

“Papa!” Rumplestiltskin returned his gaze to his son. “And what great feat of magic are you going to show me?”

Gideon waved the stuffed rabbit around and its long off-white ears flapped against the blue and white checkered shirt. “Now you see Mr. Floppy Ears.”

Rumplestiltskin nodded, “I see him.”

“Yes. Now watch me put Mr. Floppy Ears in the hat,” Gideon said hugging the hat to his stomach and dropping the rabbit inside.

“Okay, I see him. He’s in the hat. But where’s the magic in that?”

“Shh, you’ll see,” his son replied impatiently as he placed the hat on his head.

It probably would have come down over his eyes if the rabbit hadn’t been in there Rumplestiltskin thought smiling.

Gideon waved black wand with white tips clutched in his chubby fist, “Abra Cadaver!”

Rumplestiltskin snorted quietly, wishing Belle were here and they could share this experience together.

Gideon raised the hat off his head and Rumplestiltskin pretended not to see him stuff Mr. Floppy Ears into the front of his shirt. He held out the hat proudly.

“Oh no! What have you done with poor Mr. Floppy Ears?” Rumplestiltskin exclaimed smiling down at his son.

Gideon giggled, “I magicked him out of the hat!”

“But to where? Where could you have magicked him to?”

Rumplestiltskin put his hand in the hat and pretended to try to find the bunny, “Here’s not in here.”

He looked Gideon up and down, then leaned around and pulled slightly on his left ear and pretended to check behind it. “He’s not here either.”

Gideon was bouncing up and down little body quivering with mirth as Rumplestiltskin checked the behind the right ear, “Nope not here either. Where can you have sent Mr. Floppy Ears?”

Gideon grinned proudly up at his father and pulled the bunny out from under his shirt.

“Here!” Rumplestiltskin smiled and clapped, “Well done! However did you manage that? I thought for sure you’d sent him to the land of bunnies.”

Gideon laughed, “No, that would be silly. He likes it here with me.”

Rumplestiltskin picked him up again and kissed his sticky cheek, “Does he now? That’s good, I think he’s the only thing keeping you out of trouble sometimes. Are you ready to go?”

Gideon nodded against his chest. “Then say 'goodbye' and 'thank you' to Henry."

Gideon twisted in his arms and waved his chubby hand. “Bye bye thank you Henry.”

Henry smiled and waved back, “Bye Gideon. I’ll teach you more magic next time you’re over.”

“Yeah!” Gideon slapped hand to his father’s chest.

“Ow! Gideon, no slapping remember?”

“Sorry, Papa,” Gideon trilled.

He kissed the top of Gideon’s head. “It’s okay, just try to remember next time. Papas are very delicate you know.”

He whirled a hand to collect Gideon’s things together. There was not using magic for trivial purposes and there was stupidity in trying to hunt around for all randomly dispersed mess of a toddler. Rumplestiltskin started walking towards the door of the house.

“Wait.” Regina’s voice made him pause and he turned back to her with a raised eyebrow. “What is it dearie?”

“I have something else for you take with you. Wait here.”

She returned a minute later with a red metal tin.

“Here. These are some of the Christmas cookies we made.”

He smiled, “Thank you. That’s very thoughtful of you. Isn’t it Gideon? Say ‘thank you’ to Regina and ‘bye-bye’”

“Thank you. Bye-bye!” Gideon’s sung out.

“Bye, bye little man. We’ll see you again soon. Okay?” Regina said waving as they passed.

Gideon nodded into Rumplestiltskin's chest, “’Kay!”

Rumplestiltskin put Gideon down and helped him into his winter clothes.

“Thanks for this Regina.”

She shrugged, “It’s been no bother. Will you need me to look after him again this week?”

Rumplestiltskin shook his head, “Granny’s said she’ll take him for some the time and the Charmings have said they’ll have him over to play with Neal as well. So hopefully that’ll tide us through until Belle can come home and then,” he shrugged, “we’ll have to play that by ear I think.”

Regina nodded, “Let me know though. If you need any more help.”

“I will, thanks. I’ll try and find some way to make it up to you too.” Rumplestiltskin gave her an evil grin, “How about I see if Mal’s available for dinner sometime.”

Regina blushed slightly, “I can talk to her myself you know.”

“True, but you never do.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Is this the sort of meddling the mighty Dark One gets up to these days? Arranging dinner dates?”

“Ah, but I never said it was a date.”

Regina rolled her eyes and made and shooing motion with her hands. “Just take your child and go you meddlesome man.”

He grinned at her and picked Gideon up, adjusting his hat and scarf when he was safely in the crook of his arm again.

“Until next time Regina.”

“Goodbye and goodbye to you too Gideon.”

She waved once more before shutting the door firmly behind them.

Rumplestiltskin walked them to the car and carefully put Gideon into his booster seat.

“Are you ready to visit Mama and your baby sister and give them your present?”

“Yeah!” Gideon grinned excitedly up at him.

Rumplestiltskin smiled back and tried not to think that this trip very likely to turn out to be a bad idea.

***

Rumplestiltskin, got out of the driver’s seat and slid into the back seat next to the booster seat. He undid Gideon’s seat belt carefully and pulled his son into his lap.

“Now remember what we talked about before, all right? We’ll go see Mama and you can give her your present but she’s still sick.”

Gideon nodded into his father’s shoulder. “Okay,” He said in a small voice.

Rumplestiltskin took his hand gently and wondered if he was doing the right thing taking Gideon to see Belle. He was bound to be upset when she didn’t recognize him and then she’d be upset too. But he missed her so much and so wanted to give her her present. And the desperate foolish part of his mind hoped that maybe, just maybe, seeing her son would spark some memories.

“Just remember, Mama’s sick and has forgotten some stuff. She knows who you are of course,” he winced internally, it was not exactly lying to his son. He’d shown her pictures of her son and she was able to make new memories since the birth, so it wasn’t exactly a lie. But somehow finding that loophole made him feel far worse finding loopholes usually did. He decided to plough on and deal with his guilty conscience later, “She misses you and she wants to see you. But she won’t remember all the little stuff she normally does, so try not to ask her too many questions.”

“Oh,” Gideon replied in a small voice. He twisted a hand into father’s shirt collar.

“Papa?”

“Yes?” Rumplestiltskin laid a comforting had over Gideon’s.

Gideon chewed his lip,“Did I make Mama sick?”

Rumplestiltskin blinked. “No of course not,” he replied quickly. “Why would you think that?”

Gideon fixed his gaze on Rumplestiltskin’s chest and chewed his lip some more.

“Gideon?” Rumplestiltskin stroked Gideon’s hand, “Just tell me son. You can tell me anything remember?”

Gideon nodded and mumbled something into his chest.

Rumplestiltskin shook his head. “I’m really sorry Gideon. I couldn’t hear you.”

Gideon took a big gulp of breath and said quickly, in a small voice, “I got mad at her.”

Rumplestiltskin felt his heart clench at the guilt in Gideon’s voice. He hugged his son close to him and ran a gentle hand over his head.

“That’s okay Gideon.” He said soothingly, “You are allowed to get mad at her sometimes. We all get mad at each other sometimes. It’s harmless and you most definitely did not make her sick.” He paused, “Do you remember why were you mad at her?”

Gideon nodded, “I told her I wanted the baby to go away. Out of her tummy. I told her I want it to go away so I can sit on her lap again.”

Rumplestiltskin smiled down at Gideon and shook his head, “Well I’m afraid you can’t go back to being an only child, but I’ll let you in on a little secret.” He leaned in conspiratorially and lowed his voice almost to a whisper.

“What?” Gideon breathed back.

“Mama wanted the baby out of there too. She was getting very tired of it kicking her all the time.”

Gideon frowned. “Why didn’t she tell it off? She tells me off for kicking things.”

Rumplestiltskin smiled. “Well you see, when the baby was in her tummy it couldn’t hear and understand things yet. But now she’s outside Mama’s tummy she’ll have to learn not to kick things just like you. So you’ll have to be a very good big brother and show her how it’s done.”

“Will I get to sit on Mama’s lap again if I do?”

Rumplestiltskin nodded, “of course. Although not on this visit because Mama’s still sore because she’s sick. But afterwards you can, just like before, but you’ll have to take turns with your sister. Okay?”

Gideon nodded slowly, “I guess.”

Rumplestiltskin leaned over and kissed his forehead and stroked his hair again, enjoying the whiff of baby shampoo that reached his nostrils, “That’s a good lad.”

They sat in the back of the car for another few minutes before Rumplestiltskin decided they were as ready as they were going to be.

He got the little present bag with the present from Gideon, out of the trunk and let Gideon hold it as they walked through the hospital, periodically checking they hadn't managed to lose it on the way.

The hospital was all bright lights, loud voices and lots of bustling movement making Gideon inch closer and closer to his father’s legs until Rumplestiltskin just decided that would be easier to carry him the rest of the way and hefted Gideon into the crook of his arm.

“Almost there. Almost there, Gideon.”

Belle’s door was ajar when they reached her ward. He placed Gideon on the ground and crouched in front of him.

“Wait here for one moment while I check if Mama’s ready to see us. You know what she’s like -- she could still be fixing her hair.”

Gideon giggled and nodded.

He patted his son’s head and stood up, pushing the door open a little more and slipped his head around it. He felt a rush of relief, when he saw Belle sitting upright in bed reading. At least she wasn’t sleeping, she’d managed to stay awake most of the last couple of days but he’d still put off bringing Gideon to visit. Hoping her memory would be better mostly. But he knew it would distress Gideon less if she was at least alert and could pretend to be a bit more her usual self.

He tapped a lightly on the door frame and he was chagrined to see he her start at the loud noise. She swivelled her head up and towards the door.

He smiled, a little self-consciously, at the woman who both was and wasn’t his wife, “Sorry didn’t mean to startle you.”

She shook her head, “It’s fine. I don’t mind. I was just reading this book you bought me.” She gave an ironic little smile, “Guess the nice side to losing one’s memories is discovering stories like these for the first time again.” She held up her old battered blue-leather bound copy of the Her Handsome Hero.

He’d hoped an object from her childhood, of her mother’s, might have helped remind her who she was. There was no sign of any change but he couldn’t help but hope that it might spark a small change that would led somewhere.

He smiled back at her, “Well I’m glad you found a bright side to it. Are you available for company? I have a very eager young man here to see you.”

Her smile faded a little and she began to look a little apprehensive. But before he could offer to bring Gideon back another day, she nodded, “Sure. You said you’d be bringing him by. Now’s as good a time as any. Not as if I’m doing much just sitting here reading all day.”

He gave her one more appraising glance but she’d steeled herself to do this and with or without her memories Belle was both stubborn when she’d set her mind to something.

He turned back to Gideon, who’d sat himself on the floor, in the short time he’d been waiting. Rumplestiltskin supposed at least it was a hospital so the floor was probably cleaner than a lot of surfaces he’d played on.

“Come on Gideon. Mama’s ready to see you now.”

“She is?!” Gideon’s face lit up and scrambled to his feet.

Rumplestiltskin nodded and held the door open wider and beckoned towards his son. “Come on.”

His son ran eagerly past him, “Mama!”

Belle waved at him with a bright smile on her face and only her eyes betraying the nerves.

Gideon made to leap onto the bed and Rumplestiltskin only just managed to grab the back of his coat in time. “Uh, uh, uh. Remember what we talked about. You have to be gentle with Mama because she’s sick.”

Gideon slumped a little, “Oh yeah.”

Belle patted the bed beside her, “You can sit next to me if you like though.”

Gideon approached the bed slowly and scrambled up to her side, dragging the little present bag along the bed behind him and Rumplestiltskin just able to rescue it from being squished when Gideon down.

Belle slid her arm around her son, “how have you been Gideon?”

Gideon snuggled into her side. “Good. Missing you.”

There was only a slight pause from Belle, “I missed you too. But they say I should be able to come home soon. That’ll be good, won’t it?” She added a little false cheer into her voice.

“Yeah. You can see all the presents Santa got me!”

“Oh. Did Santa get you a lot of presents?”

Gideon nodded. “I got some trains, a tractor, some farm animals. And… and a puzzle and Play Doh. Oh! And a tricycle.”

“Did you now? My that’s a lot of presents!” You must have been very good,” she paused, confused.

Rumplestiltskin had begun to recognize this as her tick whenever she realized knew something in theory but did not know how she knew it or have any memories associated with how she acquired that knowledge.

He didn’t want Gideon getting upset, so he settled for distracting him. “Gideon has something for you, don’t you Gideon.”

Gideon nodded eagerly, grabbing the present bag and shoving it into Belle’s arms.

“Here!”

She peaked into the bag and pulled out the gift Rumplestiltskin had wrapped for Gideon

“I wonder what it could be,” she said shaking the rectangular parcel wrapped in white paper with little Christmas trees on it.

Gideon giggled at her display, “Open it! Open it!”

She smiled and tore the wrapping paper off to reveal a plastic picture frame covered in glitter glue. She gasped, “Did you make this yourself? For me?”

Gideon puffed his chest out a little. “Yeah. I made it all sparkly and shiny!”

“It’s so pretty! I’ll have to think of the best picture to put in here to do it justice!”

“Actually...” Rumplestiltskin began and both mother and son turned their heads towards the chair to the right of the bed where he’d settled himself.

“Yes?” Belle asked gently when he didn’t continue.

He shifted slightly, aware that the idea he’d come up with last night after arranging this visit might turn out to be a bad one.

“Well… I brought one with me so you could have it here while you’re waiting to come home.” He met her eyes and was glad to see they were still smiling at him, “Just until you’re home, of course.” He added, “You can pick out your own one then.”

She smiled brightly at him, “That’s a wonderful idea! Don’t you think that’s a wonderful idea Gideon?”

Gideon beamed and bounced a little on his bottom, “Yeah!”

Rumplestiltskin reached into his jacket and pulled out the photo he’d selected. It had taken a long time to decide but he was happy with his choice.

“It’s one of the ones from Gideon’s last birthday party,” he said handing over the photo.

It was a simple picture Henry had taken of the three of them in their back garden, Belle was leaning against his shoulder laughing as they both watched Gideon make the large plastic dinosaurs he’d gotten for his birthday walk on their heads.

Belle gave him a grateful little smile, “It’s perfect! I can sit it right here beside my bed so I can have something nicer to look at while I have to stay here.”

She gave Gideon a light squeeze and kissed his cheek, “Thank you both. What a wonderful present!”

Gideon beamed. “I told Papa you’d like it. And lots of blue glitter best.”

Belle nodded sagely, “And you were right on both counts.”

Rumplestiltskin smiled at the two of them. This was going better than expected he thought. It didn’t look like this had sparked any change in Belle but at least Gideon was getting some time with his Mama and she was managing to keep him from getting upset.

A wail came from the box at the end of the bed and broke him out of his reverie.

Gideon started and jammed his hands over his ears, “What’s that?”

Rumplestiltskin went to the bassinet at the end of the bed, reaching in and cradling the small babe in his arms and rocking her gently, “This is your baby sister.”

Gideon pulled his hands away from his ears, “Is she always loud?”

Belle laughed and reached out her arms towards her husband, “I think she’s hungry."

He returned to her and carefully placed their daughter in her arms. She smiled down at her and cooed, “Shh, shh. Mama’s here. Are you hungry little one?”

She evidently was hungry because she calmed down as soon as she was suckling at Belle’s breast. Gideon watched wide-eyed.

“Why aren’t you feeding her?”

Belle smiled, “I am feeding her. This is how babies eat.”

“Looks more like drinking.”

“Well, she’s too small to eat proper food so this is how babies eat.”

Gideon wrinkled his nose. “Weird!”

Belle laughed, “you were one once yourself you know! You ate this way too.”

Gideon wrinkled his nose, not sure what to make of this idea.

He stared at his sister and reached over a finger as if to poke her.

Rumplestiltskin grabbed his hand just in time, “no poking your sister.”

Gideon pouted, “Oh.” He frowned as if considering something, “does she have a name?”

Rumplestiltskin nodded, “Rosalind Colette. But we’re probably going to just call her Rosa most of the time.”

Gideon waved a hand towards his sister’s face. “Hello Rosa. I’m Gideon. I’m your big brother!”

He looked up at his father, “Where’s Mr. Floppy Ears?”

Rumplestiltskin dug the rabbit out of the front pocket of his coat and handed him over.

Gideon grabbed the toy and stuffed him into bed next to Belle.

She gave him a puzzled look, “Why are you doing that?”

“I think he should stay and keep you and Rosa company until you get better and come home,” Gideon said earnestly.

Rumplestiltskin felt his heart swell with love and pride and looked across to see Belle’s eye’s watering with emotion too.

She blinked a few times then smiled down at Gideon.

“You’re a good boy, Gideon. I promise you while I may forget a lot of things until I get well again, I won’t forget that I love you because you’re my best little guy and I will always know I love you. Okay.”

Gideon nodded and cuddled into her side, “Love you too”.

She leaned down and just managed to kiss his hair without disturbing the baby.

Rumplestiltskin smiled at the tableau his family made on the bed. In that moment he felt sure that they would get through this terrible time as a family, that Belle would get better and all would be right again. But even if she didn’t, if nothing could be done for her, he could for the first time see a path where they could still all be happy. He wouldn’t stop fighting for his family and trying to make this right but in that moment he felt certain that, one way or the other, they would all get through this.

[snowbellewells]

Self-Promo Sunday: “Find My Way Back to You”

(I started this one shot before the episode "A Wondrous Place" aired, and therefore it picks up right where "Page 23" (6x14) ended. It allows for Snow to do more what I would have loved to have seen from her in 6x15 – encourage Emma that there is no way her True Love would leave her, and take action to help her daughter find out what is wrong. In general, I wanted the Charmings to be more concerned about Killian and know that his just vanishing after a fight didn't add up, so I wrote it. Also, my first thought at Gideon not wanting Killian around was that he had a curse planned for Emma. I still wanted them have an actual, magical whoosh of air, rainbow-tinged TLK as well, so needless to say, this is what happened in response to all of that going on in my mind. When I saw the post about reviving Self-Promo Sunday going around, I went back through my old stories, looking for one I hadn’t enjoyed in a while or that I thought folks might have missed, and this is the one that grabbed me. Hope you enjoy and I’d love to know what you think!)

“Find My Way Back to You”

By: @snowbellewells (or TutorGirlml on ff.net)

Three a.m. and still no sign of her pirate. Their huge two story house feels as cold and empty in the silent dark of late night turned early morning as it had during those nightmarish days when she had ensconced herself in it as the Dark One in her solitary lair. Just as those ghastly memories have begun to vanish for good, the foreboding tendrils wind their way back in Killian's absence. She did this; her eyes close as she once more stares out the window into the dark, deserted yard, forehead resting against the frigid glass, chilling her skin along with the cold she feels spreading through her chest. Unbidden, Killian's pointed, angry words as the Dark One himself ring in her mind – cutting like tiny knives – "you push away anyone who gets close to you…that's why you'll always be an orphan…"

Knowing now that he does not truly feel that way, that he hates she had ever heard those words from his lips, does little to comfort her alone in the still watch of the night. The remembrance of cold winter nights curled up together under heaps of cozy blankets as he whispered and kissed the very opposite into her skin – how bloody brilliant she is, how she is his match, his other half, how they will always have each other and never be alone again, how he will never leave her – is cold comfort now that she fears she has driven him away.

Listlessness overtakes the Savior as she paces a sleepless route from window to sink to the living room couch and back again, peace and rest as far from her as they have ever been. At last, she curls into the oversized armchair in the corner, the one which has become Killian's favorite place to read the piles of books that both Belle and Henry recommend and loan him, her eyes glazing over until she barely notices the dark lightening to grey, then streaking the sky with pinks and golds as the sun rises again. The new day dawns with her True Love missing, and though she still believes in him and clings to her faith that he wouldn't desert her, he isn't here. She had been justified in what she'd said to him – he does have to trust her, just as she must have faith in him – but the fact that he is out there alone somewhere hurting and drowning in self-hatred, that he didn't feel welcome in their home, makes the words, warranted or not, feel hollow.

When the door creaks open and her mother enters, there to pick Emma up for their near-weekly breakfast at Granny's, Emma barely flinches or even looks up at Snow's chipper greeting. It doesn't take long for her mother to gather that something isn't right when Emma gives no answer, and when she rounds the corner into the living room to find her grown daughter curled up as small as she can make herself in the chair, arms around her legs and chin resting on her knees, Snow's happily excited face falls rapidly.

She comes to kneel in front of her child, resting her hands over Emma's clenched ones soothingly, and looking up into her blank, unfocused face. "Honey?... Emma?" She chafes her hands up and down her daughter's forearms until Emma finally startles slightly and seems to register her mother's presence. "What is it? Are you alright? …Where's Killian?"

It is this last question which finally seems to snap her daughter back into the present, and as she turns to really focus on Snow, her stoic façade truly crumbles. Shaking her head, she finally clasps her mother's hand in return, and whispers in as fragile a voice as her mother has ever heard her use, "I don't know, Mom… I don't know."

"Well, come then," Snow soothes, pulling Emma to her in a hug, and holding her as she rocks back and forth slightly, comforting her princess as she aches to have done all those missed years Emma had been growing up. When she sits back slightly, gently brushing back the loose strands of hair that have escaped Emma's braid with maternal tenderness, "We need to go find him," she urges. "The way that man loves you? Whatever happened with the two of you, you'll work it out. He's probably on his way to you as we speak."

Emma knows her mother doesn't have the whole story, but despite all that, Snow's patent hope and optimism bolster her spirits enough to urge her to her feet as her mother pulls her up and for her to soon be leading the way down to the docks in search of her pirate.

So it is a sleep-deprived, fuzzy and anxiety-distracted version of herself who stands on the wooden planks, frozen in unprepared surprise and vulnerability when Gideon materializes behind them, malicious grin on his face and a taunt on his cruelly curved lips. "Looking for someone, 'Savior'?"

Emma scowls, feeling the heat in her blood rising angrily at the look on his face – just knowing without a doubt that this freak has done something to keep Killian from her, to keep him from coming back home. "You know that I am. What have you done with him?" she growls.

"Nothing really," Gideon shrugs nonchalantly, gloating at his power over the situation, much in the way his father always has. "He'll be quite alright, I'm sure. He's just several thousand leagues under the sea – well away from here and unable to disrupt my plans."

"Your plans?!" Emma spits. "Just what are you planning anyway, you sick little – "

But before she can finish, Gideon flings out a glowing hand, magic shooting toward her from it at top speed. Emma is quick and reacts to throw up a defensive shield, but not quick enough. She has been fighting nonstop for so long, one villain, realm, and catastrophe after another, to save everyone but herself, and she is just too tired. Her sleepless night, distress, and the lackluster concern for her own safety all work against her to let Gideon gain the edge, and she freezes for a second as what he has thrown at her makes impact. Then, her eyes glass over, fall closed, and she crumples senseless to the wooden surface of the pier.

Snow is stock-still and speechless at her side, too shocked to move at their robed attacker's sudden appearance, until Emma falls. On her knees beside her daughter instantly, a cry of distress escapes the Enchanted Forest's monarch as she shakes Emma's shoulder in futile hope of rousing her.

"That won't work," Gideon intones confidently as he watches her efforts. "You of all people ought to recognize the spell, Snow White. But I've tweaked it a bit for my own purposes. Take it from someone who – like your daughter – grew up painfully without a mother, whatever the reasons, I'm not sure you could waken her, even without my refinements. All the same, I've guarded against it, just in case. You will keep her safe though, until I decide what to do with her, won't you?" And with a sickeningly self-satisfied smile, he vanishes in a red column of magical smoke.

~ CS ~ CS ~ CS ~

Killian Jones is beside himself as the Nautilus finally resurfaces in Storybrooke's harbor once more. If it weren't for Nemo, Liam, and the once again fortuitously met Ariel, he would probably have pulled all his hair out or maimed his one good hand from punching walls in frustration. As is, it has been nearly a week since their ship had been sent forcibly from the Land Without Magic. In every waking moment since – and they've all been waking; he cannot sleep, only pace his quarters, stomach churning at the thought that he will have appeared to abandon Emma like so many before him – he has been struggling, racing against time, desperate to get back to his Love. Not only can he not bear the thought of her hurting because of him, of it seeming for even a second that he would desert her, but the more time passes and the more complicated it has proved to get back home, the more frighteningly sure Killian has become that Gideon needed him specifically out of the picture. Whatever the Dark One's spawn has in mind, it means danger for Emma, and he isn't there to fight at her side.

With hardly a backward glance, he tears from the hold and clamors up onto the docks. Running toward their shared home as if that wretched hell hound from the Underworld is on his heels once more, Killian barely calls a 'thank you' over his shoulder to his comrades before he is halfway up the street.

Bursting through the front door after clattering up the steps of their porch, Killian calls out Emma's name, hoarse with panic, even as he can clearly see that the lights are dim and the place is eerily still. When searching every room on the first floor in rapid succession yields nothing, he bounds up the stairs to their bedroom, still crying out for his Swan; still hoping against hope that she will rise from their bed to welcome him, arms outstretched and both of their sins ready to be forgiven with love.

Finding that room empty and cold as well is the battering ram which almost breaks him. 'Where is she?' 'What's happened to her?' repeats round and round in his head, as his adrenaline flees and he sinks on suddenly weak, shaking legs to the edge of the bed, praying she is alright, that she hasn't given up on him and left this home they dreamed of for so long – that he isn't too late. For a moment, he buries his face in his hand, a few tears leaking from his eyes here in this dusky quiet where no one else can see.

His despair does not last though – whether it is the small kernel of undefeatable hope, purpose, love for Emma – for his family – or just plain stubbornness; whatever it is that has kept him pressing on throughout lonely centuries, it pulls Killian Jones to his feet again. Soon he is back down the stairs, across the porch and moving down the street, instinct and his heart guiding him where he needs to go, and urging him forward as quickly as he can get there.

At Emma's parents' loft apartment, he hesitates only briefly, steeling himself with a deep breath for the anger and betrayal he may face, and the fist to the nose Dave may greet him with. But he doesn't have time to waste; he has already been gone too long. With every moment he is apart from his Swan, his desperation and fear for her grows, and he cannot help imagining worse and worse reasons why Gideon might have wanted him far away.

Knocking on the door, mouth dry, heart pounding, Killian only has moments to contemplate what to say, if he will have to push them aside to gain entrance, if he will be able to stand the harsh words he is bound to hear and the disappointment in eyes that had finally begun to regard him as a part of their family, when he hears the lock turn and then it swings open to reveal a rumpled-looking and red-eyed Snow White. To his shock, and throwing him completely off balance, Snow reaches for his arm and pulls him into the apartment, hugging him tightly with her voice muffled against his jacket as she says, "Thank goodness you're here, Killian! It was starting to look like something awful had happened to you…"

Killian sputters disbelievingly even as Snow pulls away, wiping her cheeks and sniffling a bit, and allows her to drag him further into the main room, even as he stumbles over his own feet. "But…I…You are? Did Emma not tell you what I've done?"

Snow shakes her head, dithering and waving her hand as if to bat his qualms away. "She didn't explain…just that she didn't know where you were." And here the rightful ruler of the Enchanted Forest gives him the smallest of sad little smiles, "None of that matters right now. We need you… Emma needs you."

"Doesn't matter?" Killian repeats, blinking and completely nonplussed.

Snow dips her head, hiding her expression from him as she leads him on by the hand, up the steps to the room Killian knows was Emma's for a short time.

However, if he had thought himself confused and troubled already, it is nothing compared to the sight which overwhelms him upon entering Emma's small boudoir. There, lying as if in peaceful, permanent slumber, is his Emma, stretched out upon the bed, eyes closed in seeming rest with her golden hair arrayed across the pillow in a spill of light and hands folded over each other on her stomach. Yet, having felt her curled against him many times in the tiniest possible ball, as if protecting herself even in sleep, and knowing how often she tosses and turns tangling her long legs in the sheets, Killian realizes immediately something is not right – Emma is never so still.

Even if that had not alerted him, the appearance of David, Henry, and Belle around the bed would have, Dave slumped in a chair by the nightstand, looking devastated and lost as he watches over his daughter, and Henry, head bowed and silent, seated on the bed by his mother's feet, while Belle stands near him, worried and torn, her hand on her grandson's shoulder. It flashes through his head that they resemble the mournful tableau around a glass coffin in the cartoon Emma and Henry had gleefully shown him some weeks ago, the one that supposedly told her parents' story. Except these were not somewhat cutesy hand drawn dwarves; these were the members of his family, and he had no such illusions that things could be righted as instantaneously. Surely if the immediately obvious solution could work, they would have done it already?

Slow, hesitant steps bring him closer to the bed where his princess, his True Love, lies. And though he wants to fall to his knees, rail and scream at the universe and the unfairness of her loss, he finds that he can only stare dazedly until he finally reaches her other side, and runs a tender, aching finger along a strand of her hair.

David looks up at his entrance, and though his mouth tightens in a hard, thin line, he says nothing, spews none of the accusations Killian had expected from him, nor does he order the pirate from his home.

"Dave…I…" Killian starts, swallowing hard and trying to offer any kind of apology that could possibly seem like enough. Even if the other man doesn't know the horrible discovery about his father's long ago murder, Prince Charming may well believe that Killian left his daughter without a word when she was in grave danger and needing his support.

But the prince shakes his head slowly, dismissing the need. "All of that can wait for later," he sighs, voice low and ragged. "I know something wasn't right with your disappearance anyway. Just… please … wake my daughter."

Killian is taken aback, jerking upright in surprise. "How can I?" he asks, reaching to twine his fingers with Emma's limp, cool ones, needing the contact whether she can press his in return or no. "If you or Henry couldn't wake her, why would I be able to, after how I've ruined what was between us?'

Belle speaks up then, her voice shaky with a clear mix of concern and guilt. "The best we can figure is that G-Gideon altered the Sleeping Curse. Possibly because Henry has shared a True Love's Kiss with her before, he is unable to repeat the action? And…" she trails off hesitantly, and David picks up the explanation.

"…And because Snow and I weren't there for her all those years, despite my best intentions, in some way I did fail her. At any rate, what we have with our own daughter must not be strong enough to be True Love either." His head bows again to rest on Emma's shoulder, the agonized emotion in her father's voice and the defeated curve of his strong shoulders unravels Killian that much more.

Then Snow speaks up just behind him, her voice soft yet full of hope as she prods him with a hand at his back. "You're the only one who can bring her back, Killian. I know it! I've never seen her look at anyone else the way she does at you. She wasn't herself without you, even before Gideon did this, and she needs to know you're here."

Shaking his head, Killian licks his lips nervously, going down on one knees at Emma's side, pulling her hand to his chest and looking at her son. Henry meets his gaze and gives his mom's other True Love a nod of urging encouragement, a tiny, watery grin lifting one corner of his mouth.

Bending his head to the pillow beside hers, Killian closes his eyes for a moment, gathering his courage and praying that the bond they have shared is still alive; for she does not deserve this fate. "Swan, I love you… more than I can ever express, despite how I must have hurt you unwillingly. Please… come back to us. Come back to me."

Then, with infinite adoration he leans forward, pressing his lips to hers once more in a sweet kiss. He has missed her so much in the past day and night that it feels instantly as if he is once more whole – like he has finally, truly come home. In the following second, a whoosh of air and light sweeps through the room, ruffling their hair and clothes, sweeping up and invigorating them all. Rainbow color seems to radiate out in a wave of electric power from where their lips meet, and it steals Killian's breath. His heart near ceases to beat as he stares in awe at his princess' face.

Emma's lashes flutter, then she blinks rapidly, sucking in a huge gasp of air as she stirs, and finally Killian feels as if he can breathe again. She sits up quickly, a smile lighting her face as she reaches out for him and pulls him close desperately. "Killian," she exclaims, "you came back!"

Tears threaten, and he has to swallow several times to answer in a rough murmur, "Emma…Love…of course, I did. I never wanted to leave you."

She nods against his shoulder, burrowing closer in his embrace, and neither of them even budge when first Henry, and then the rest pile on in relief and joy, making it a chaotic, clumsy six-person hug. The warmth and belonging spread through his veins and push out the chill loneliness Killian had feared taking over him once more. Laughing and breathing in the warm cinnamon scent of her, he buries his nose in Emma's hair, feels Henry and Belle at his back, and lets Snow's hope fill the last empty cracks hidden away in his soul. No more fear of being lost at sea. He has his harbor, and he means to stay.

Tagging a few who may enjoy: @kmomof4 @laschatzi @therooksshiningknight @spartanguard @let-it-raines @hollyethecurious @resident-of-storybrooke @aloha-4-ever @whimsicallyenchantedrose @searchingwardrobes @gingerchangeling @blackwidownat2814 @linda8084 @branlovestowrite @effulgentcolors @kymbersmith-90 @teamhook @revanmeetra87 @hookedonapirate @bmbbcs4evr

[sieben9]

“the final battle” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

Ah Once, what am I going to do with you?

I mean, this episode was definitely an Experience™, that much is certain. Just… ::sighs::

Look, if I try to sum it up, I think the best I can do is “this was twenty minutes of a really good finale stuck inside a rushed ninety-minute wtf-fest. Also, those twenty minutes belong to a totally different season.

this is the sort of thing you’ve got to foreshadow at least a LITTLE

The acting was pretty damn good, though.

(Fair warning: don’t open this on mobile, there’s a ridiculous amount of pictures under the cut)

OK. So. Couple of things that I really liked up front, so I can gripe in peace later on. (And readers can skip whatever part they wish ; )

First, and I realise this is a weird thing to enjoy, but I loved how utterly despicable I found Fiona in this one. She may have hung around like a bad smell for most of the season without really doing much, but she sure stepped up her game for the occasion.

Seriously, if Rumple hadn’t killed her, I would have found a way. “Our son”, indeed.

Though, please, have some pity on the poor guy. At this point, he has killed both his parents, and one of them twice. That can’t be good for anyone.

oh look the wall robots are still there

And speaking of Rumple… dang, that was a good scene in the mines. What I loved most about it was that this was literally all him. Nobody would ever know what he did in there if he didn’t tell them, except for himself, and he still made the right choice. Despite being offered everything he ever wanted, despite being under the influence of his curse just as much as ever…

before you ask, yes, my mind did go Places

…and more literally than it’s usually shown. Well done, pal. I should probably be more excited about this, but despite the tense buildup, I feel like the scene kind of fizzled as a whole. Maybe because he already made the exact same choice earlier, and was just confirming that he really meant it, too. Still, it was a good moment, and I was very proud of this walking human disaster by the time it was done.

Some more on the topic of Rumple: congratulations on his acting skills. Rumple’s, not Robert Carlyle’s, specifically. Because there’s no way in hell I could have seen these photos…

…and kept a straight face. Honestly, I’m half convinced that they were a test by Fiona to see if he was awake after all.

Oh, and the book!

The book made it across! And you know why? Because Belle and her son have True Love, even if Gideon cannot remember that, because Fiona is The Worst. And Rumple worked so hard to make Gideon remember; it was heartbreaking to see. I mean, he had to do that for… what? Five hours? And he still couldn’t stand the thought that Gideon might believe his mother didn’t love him. It was a good scene, OK?

On a sillier note (but still unambiguously positive): Emma’s wardrobe came back for the finale!

I don’t know, it’s just nice to see.

Other things I loved a lot:

Any and all interactions between Regina and her now-settled other half. Just. Pure joy, even in the midst of the wtf-ery. And with the obvious standout-moment when the Queen goes and sacrifices herself to give the others that tiny bit of time they need to get back to their world and help Henry (and Emma, but I think we all know who the priority was in this case)

Just… damn. I’m still worried about this woman’s self-destructive streak in general, but this was a good moment. (It also helps that she got better. ‘cause that could have been really depressing otherwise.)

Oh, and since we’re speaking of Regina (or the Reginas, plural), I absolutely adored the speech she gave Emma. Just… I mean, I expect the hope speeches from Snow (and that one was pretty good, too), but this? I mean… wow. Please compare and contrast with season 1. Except you don’t have to, because Regina already did that, and it was beautiful.

Then we have an actual mirrored TLK (see below for a botched version…) in this very good moment:

Like, yes, I love bookends, and this was a great one. Calling back to the “holy crap why didn’t I see this coming” kiss in s1 worked surprisingly well, considering how little interaction Emma and Henry had this season, but there’s enough material in the show in general to make me buy into this. Like I said: sucker for bookends.

In general, I feel like this episode was at its strongest whenever re-focused on the family relationships between the characters.

And to close it out, the ending montage.

Just... it’s like Snow said. They get to live their happy endings now. Snowing finally have the time to be a proper family (and David got a dog!). Regina is accepted and loved by her people (and the Queen gets to have a completely “new adventure”, as Robin so aptly put it.) Snow can do what she loves and doesn’t have to fight all the time anymore. And Emma finally has a place in the world; one where she can settle and be comfortable and doesn’t have to be alone anymore... and I’ll just leave it at that. It’s a good ending.

And no, I haven’t forgotten it--obvious special mention to this bit here:

Yup. Killed me dead. And I died happy, thank you very much. They’ve been through so much bullshit, and now they can be together, and raise their son in peace, and won’t be really worried when he doesn’t stop growing, either.

I also want to give a special shoutout to the five six people who immediately made sure that I knew that 1) the kiss wasn’t scripted and 2) we, as a fandom, are extremely lucky to have Robert and Emilie. (For those who haven’t seen the interview in question, it’s here, and here)

The finishing dinner was nice, too, even if I’m not sure what the whole Last Supper imagery was supposed to do.

Listen, I’ve been going “just let them be happy!” for way too long to complain much when they finally are. Also, I could write an essay on the range of emotions Rumple goes through when he comes through that door and people are actually happy to see him and his family. Or about that look that passes between him and Regina, because I caught that and it made me cry! I don’t think either of them ever imagined they would really be this happy again when they first met and they’ve been through so much crap and just... guh. I like this. It’s a good closing shot.

And now, the rest.

Because frankly, this wasn’t a great finale. It wasn’t even that good of an episode. It was everything wrong with the 4B finale, only more of that.

For example: What was the deal with making Emma lose her belief? Since when was her belief required for the magical realms to exist? The only person who’s ever had even something approaching that function was Henry. She didn’t need to believe in magic to keep it alive, she needed it to break the curse.

And this was never set up as the Black Fairy’s plan. Not even a little. This came so out of left field, it wasn’t even in the same stadium! And it’s so frustrating, because this wasn’t a bad plot, as such, but there was no build-up, no real payoff, nothing. Or, let me put it differently: this was a perfectly fine plot resolution, it just had no business being attached to this season.

Everything felt rushed, there were about five dozen plot points, none of them with any time to breathe and somehow, we still got that terminally boring climb up the bean stalk.Sorry, David, you know I love you, but what was the point of that sidetrack? Nothing happened. There was no try-and-fail cycle (because there wasn’t time for one) and honestly, if you needed a handwave for how they got back from the magical realms, maybe you could have gone with a less time intensive one?

And that moment where Snow kisses David back to life? Yeah, unearned, again. And dear show: the cut-in from the first episode worked for the split-heart curse, because you were subverting it. But here? It just didn’t do anything. This wasn’t a parallel. David wasn’t cursed, he was crushed by a beanstalk.

And speaking of things that don’t make sense…

For the love of fuck. Her ankle? Really? This is such a cliché that even the slasher genre doesn’t do it anymore. And it’s a dumb cliché, too. It’s rooted sexism and it makes it look like you didn’t have any other ideas. I get it, you don’t want Belle with Rumple at that final point so she doesn’t influence his decision. Here’s a thought, then: let her stay behind for a good reason! Or, hell, if you don’t want to write a scene for her (the writers sure seem to be allergic to giving Belle any screentime), let there be a fork in the road! They don’t have the time to check each one, let Belle go one way and Rumple another. It’s still a lazy plot excuse, but at least it’s not the stupidest cliché in the book.

And one more thing…

::sigh:: I have such mixed feelings about this?

Because on the one hand: Gideon had a life that nobody would want. He was kidnapped, imprisoned, kept in the dark and abused for all of his twenty-eight years, and even if he got free, he would never get that time back. Nobody would ever choose that for themselves.

At the same time… Gideon died. The person I got to know over the last half-season is no more. He’s gone. And he never had any say in the matter. Hell, he didn’t even get to say goodbye. It’ just such a messed-up way to get a wonderful thing.

(Also, while I’m on that topic… yes, I did notice that Rumple didn’t recognise his very tiny son at first, and I realise that it’s because he’s never seen him before. It prompted a particularly long “oh noo…”, too.)

And finally…

… that cliffhanger/teaser, though, huh?

I have so many questions. Why was Henry in that monster forest? Why is he now in an apartment and doesn’t remember his daughter? When did he get a daughter? (Also, who with? Enquiring minds would like to know.)

So. I know, like, three things about s7, and one of them is the cast list. Please try not to spoil anything else, because that’s already way more than I wanted to know going in. Seriously, I’m a reasonably grown adult. I can deal with a couple of surprises.

[bookaddict24-7]

FIRST CHAPTER CHALLENGE! 

This week was a little harder with the two young adult books that I picked because I was torn with one book. As for the sole fiction title I picked up, it was a thriller that I thought I would really enjoy. Again, the whole thriller thing falls on the idea of having a book that I like the idea of but might never actually pick up. 

I’m also trying a new thing that I began last week, but didn’t mention here. I will be adding books that I choose to continue reading to my TBR for the following month. This way, I don’t feel overwhelmed with the need to read them right away AND if I don’t finish them in that following month, then they’re leaving.

So, as it stands, here’s how my decisions go for this challenge: Save for another round, Unhaul, and Next month’s TBR.

A gentle reminder: Just because I’ve unhauled the books in this post and in future posts, it doesn’t mean that they’re books not worth reading. They’re just not right for me. This is more of an incentive for me to free up space and give these books better homes than my basement.

Also, there might be some spoilers. If you’re interested in reading these books, tread with care.

Read my original post and how I’m going about this challenge here.

Have any of you practiced this challenge this past week?

The Favorite Sister by Jessica Knoll

Decision: Unhauled

This was one of those thrillers that I really wanted to read because I loved the concept of Knoll’s prior novel. Also, look at that cover! Despite having the idea of liking thrillers, I’ve honestly never gotten into any thrillers--unless you consider something like You by Caroline Kepnes as a thriller. Anyway, I noticed right away that I wasn’t into this book. The writing was heavy and that Goodreads rating--wow. I’m sure it’ll find a better home!

Synopsis: 

“When five hyper-successful women agree to appear on a reality series set in New York City called Goal Diggers, the producers never expect the season will end in murder…

Brett’s the fan favorite. Tattooed and only twenty-seven, the meteoric success of her spin studio—and her recent engagement to her girlfriend—has made her the object of jealousy and vitriol from her cast mates.

Kelly, Brett’s older sister and business partner, is the most recent recruit, dismissed as a hanger-on by veteran cast. The golden child growing up, she defers to Brett now—a role which requires her to protect their shocking secret.

Stephanie, the first black cast member and the oldest, is a successful bestselling author of erotic novels. There have long been whispers about her hot, non-working actor-husband and his wandering eye, but this season the focus is on the rift that has opened between her and Brett, former best friends—and resentment soon breeds contempt.

Lauren, the start-up world’s darling whose drinking has gotten out of control, is Goal Diggers’ recovery narrative—everyone loves a comeback story.

And Jen, made rich and famous through her cultishly popular vegan food line plays a holistic hippie for the cameras, but is perhaps the most ruthless of them all when the cameras are off.”

Riders by Veronica Rossi 

Decision: April TBR

I’ve always been really interested in the Horsemen of the Apocalypse mythology and frankly, this is probably why I’ve held on to this book for so long. The first chapter shows a lot of promise and I love adventurous stories. I’m willing to give this a shot because I remember how excited I was when I first received this book. 

Synopsis: 

“Nothing but death can keep eighteen-year-old Gideon Blake from achieving his goal of becoming a U.S. Army Ranger. As it turns out, it does.

While recovering from the accident that most definitely killed him, Gideon finds himself with strange new powers and a bizarre cuff he can’t remove. His death has brought to life his real destiny. He has become War, one of the legendary four horsemen of the apocalypse.

Over the coming weeks, he and the other horsemen—Conquest, Famine, and Death—are brought together by a beautiful but frustratingly secretive girl to help save humanity from an ancient evil on the emergence.

They fail.

Now—bound, bloodied, and drugged—Gideon is interrogated by the authorities about his role in a battle that has become an international incident. If he stands any chance of saving his friends and the girl he’s fallen for—not to mention all of humankind—he needs to convince the skeptical government officials the world is in imminent danger.

But will anyone believe him?”

The Waning Age by S.E. Grove

Decision: Unhauled

I was originally torn about this book. I kind of enjoyed the first chapter and was even intrigued, but then I did what I always do when I’m not fully sure about a book: I flip through the book and see if anything jumps out at me (both in a positive or negative way)--nothing really did. Also, two points: This ARC had a weird thing going on with the font where it looked like it was badly printed, and I also may have peeked at the Goodreads rating. Oops. 

Synopsis: 

“In a parallel present San Francisco, Natalia Peña works as a hotel maid, practices martial arts, and cares for her eleven-year-old brother, Calvino. In this version of our world, all children start to "wane" when they reach Cal's age; by their teen years, they've lost their ability to feel emotion. But Cal isn't waning. When a mysterious corporation kidnaps him for testing, Natalia's reaction surprises her: she's crushed, and she'll do anything to save her brother from their experiments. But the road to his rescue leads her into the path of a dashing but troubled billionaire's son, a cadre of killers, and, eventually, the shocking truth about waning. Filled with twists and turns, The Waning Age is a powerful mirror that shows us the danger of becoming desensitized to violence and the remarkable, transformative power of love.“

Have you read any of these three books? What were your experiences with them?

I’ll be back next week with another three picks!

Happy reading!

[crossinginstyle]

Real (A Post-Ep Fix-It Fic)

This is just a crappy, rambling one-shot of what I think some of the aftermath of the finale should have been. Because GIDEON MATTERS, OKAY?!

I almost didn’t even post it...but here ya go!! Lol. Enjoy!

Title: Real Rating: G Word Count: 3,361 Summary: Rogers is feeling uncertain and out of place in the aftermath of the new curse, until he meets someone that reminds him that he does have purpose of his own.

“I’m not…entirely sure about all this.”

“Not sure about what, Starfish?” Rogers asked.

They were taking a walk around Storybrooke, enjoying the ability to simply be near one another after so many years. With the new curse happening, and everyone working to build a new – permanent – life in this odd combination of the Enchanted Forest and Maine, there had yet to be much time to simply breathe and come to terms with everything.

Alice herself had been busy, which Rogers understood wholeheartedly. She was finally getting to start a life with Robin, which was exciting, and he understood how that happiness left little room for anything else.

So he was that much more grateful when she made a point to spend time alone with him, and he made sure he was always available when she did. He didn’t mind sharing her with Robin, who he was rapidly beginning to love as a daughter in her own right, but he was still thrilled to have her undivided attention occasionally.

“This,” Alice continued, flapping her arms. “Storybrooke. I mean, it’s a nice town, but it’s weird, ya know? Having all the realms together like this. I actually kinda liked Seattle.”

Hyperion Heights was the one “realm” that the curse couldn’t bring to Storybrooke, because it was filled with people who didn’t exist in any book. Rogers had wanted to call the station and put in his resignation properly, but Regina had talked him out of it. What point was there? There was no way he could explain that he was not returning, nor were Weaver, or the well-known bar owner, Roni.

The thought of Weaver sent a pang through him. It wasn’t always easy to reconcile the imp he’d spent centuries trying to kill with the soft-spoken detective he admired so much as Detective Rogers. He knew…knew that Rumplestiltskin was with his wife in the afterlife. There was absolutely no justice in the worlds if it were not so. But damn him, he missed Weaver. Missed his sardonic humor and infuriating habit of knowing everything.

It was easy to feel lonely and out of place here, in the world where he was simply the other Hook. The “Nook.” He’d taken to insisting he be called Rogers to help differentiate himself from other version. The one everyone saw as real.

“I liked Seattle too,” he said, realizing he’d been silent too long and his daughter was looking at him funny.

“It was easier to blend in,” Alice said. “I get now what Robin meant when she told me everyone knows everyone’s business in Storybrooke.”

“I suppose we could always go back to Hyperion Heights,” Rogers said. “It wouldn’t be easy, explaining Roni and Weaver’s disappearances.”

“No,” Alice said, shaking her head. “You’d look too suspicious and I just got you back! I’m not having you sent off to jail. Besides, like Robin said, we can’t be who we are there. We can here.”

To illustrate her point, she made ice cream cones appear in both their hands with a wave of her fingers.

“True,” Rogers said, smiling. And he’d never want Alice to pretend to be anyone but herself. Regina and Emma Swan had been working with her, making sure she knew how to properly control her powers, but it wasn’t really necessary. Regina had confided in him that Alice was stronger than she and Emma combined, and her control was quite good. And Alice had confided in him that she didn’t care for their tutelage, missing the lessons she’d received from Rumple.

She missed him too. He could see it when people mentioned him, speaking of him as this awe-inspiring hero. Rogers was glad no one spoke ill of him anymore…except for his better half.

“So the Dark One is gone for good?” Hook had said soon after the new curse was struck, when Regina told him and Emma and had happened. “Guess he wasn’t such a crocodile in the end, but I can’t say I’ll miss the old bastard. Things have been so much more peaceful here since they left town.”

“How dare you!” Alice had exclaimed, startling everyone. “Rumple was a hero, and my friend! Some of us will miss him you…you…copycat!”

“Copycat?” Hook asked in puzzlement.

Rogers put an arm around his daughter to calm her. “I think what she means is, we’d rather you not speak ill of our friend, aye?”

“Friend,” Hook scoffed, ignoring his wife’s warning look. “How the devil can you say that? After everything he’s put us through?”

“And everything we put him through?” Rogers asked. “If you…we…are so-called reformed, we have no real right to bring up any of his past misdeeds, do we? All I care about now is that he gave his life for mine, so that she,” he looked down at Alice. “Wouldn’t have to lose her father. He risked his soul to be sure his worse self couldn’t hurt anyone else.”

Regina had put an end to the argument after that, but it hadn’t quelled the dislike between the two “Hooks.” Luckily Storybrooke was now a very big place, and it was fairly easy to avoid him, so long as they stuck to the Wish Realm area. But today Alice had wanted to walk around Storybrooke, and they did, so Rogers just hoped they didn’t run into any Sheriffs or their husbands.

 “Think you’ll be a detective here?” Alice asked, as they each finished off their dripping ice cream cones over a trash can. Once they were done, she vanished the mess on their hands.  

“I believe Sheriff Jones and her husband do pretty much everything, with the help of her parents.”

“But they can’t do everything,” Alice protested. “Not now that there are so many realms. And isn’t a little strange that the police department is run by a single family?”

Rogers shrugged. “I’m technically the same person as the sheriff’s husband, love.”

Alice glared at him hotly. “You’re nothing like him, Papa! I don’t care if he has your face, you couldn’t be more different if you tried!”

He chuckled. “Thanks Starfish, I needed to hear that.”

“Hey, look,” she pointed up at a sign that read Mr. Gold’s Pawnshop.

“Did you want to go in there?” he asked.

“Don’t you know? Rumple was Mr. Gold here, under the original curse. Robin says that was his shop for other thirty years.

Rogers looked at the sign again. “A pawnshop owner? Weaver?”

Alice chuckled. “Robin said she doesn’t remember him very much before he and Belle left town, but she said he always wore suits. Like full on tie and everything. All the time. Regina said it’s true, and he walked with a cane back then that he sometimes used as a weapon when people pissed him off. And during the curse he was this creepy, suave dealmaker.”

“Well that sounds like him,” Rogers said. “And so do the suits, honestly. He was always so obsessed with his clothes in the Enchanted Forest. All the frills and leather. The denim on denim never suited him.”

“Do you realize that as soon as his memory came back, he started wearing leather jackets?”

Rogers laughed. “I know, because he damn well stole one of mine!”

“He didn’t! Like a girlfriend?!”

“Oh God, he would kill you for saying that!”

They stood there laughing like a pair of loons, ignoring the look they got from that old woman who owned the diner.

“Hey who’s that?” Alice asked suddenly, ceasing her hysterical laughter in an instant the way only she seemed to be able to.

“Who’s who?”

“Him! That guy looking in the window.”

Sure enough, there was a man about Alice’s age peering into the window of the door to Mr. Gold’s Pawnshop, testing the lock as he did. Rogers heart gave a peculiar thump at the sight of him, though he didn’t know why.

“Is he trying to break in?” Alice asked.

“Surely not in the middle of the day,” Rogers said. “But I’ll find out. Stay here.”

Law enforcer face on, Rogers crossed the street to the pawnshop, not bothering to quiet his footsteps, but the young man didn’t seem to hear, intent as he was on picking the lock.

“Anything I can help you with?” Rogers asked, causing the man to jump and spin around.

“Oh! Hi…um…sorry…I just…” the man peered at him, suddenly suspicious, glancing at his artificial hand. “Are you Hook?”

Rogers huffed a chuckle. “A version of him, though not the one you’re probably thinking of. I’m from the Wish Realm.”

“Ah!” his eyes lit in recognition. “Papa wrote to me about you! Maybe you know then where he is?”

“Papa?” Rogers asked. “Who are you, lad?”

He smiled in embarrassment. “Sorry! Forgive me, I’m Gideon Gold.”

“Gold…” Rogers looked above the lad’s head to the sign. “You’re…Rumplestiltskin’s son?”

Gideon nodded proudly. “I am. Papa said in a letter that he’d met you, and he liked you a lot better than the other Hook. I was just at school when suddenly the curse hit, and brought us all here. Everyone says Regina did it, to unite the realms. As soon as I found out, I came here. I thought…I thought Papa might be here. It was a longer journey than I thought…it would…be…” Gideon trailed off, seeming to read something in Roger’s face. “Do you know where he is?”

By this time, Alice had ignored her father’s orders to stay put and had joined them. “You’re Gideon,” she said. “I’m Alice. Your Papa told me about you.”

Gideon grinned, but it was shaky, like he knew what they were about to tell him, but wanted to avoid hearing it. “He told me about you, too! He said you reminded him a little of my mother.”

Alice beamed upon hearing that, knowing what it meant for Rumple to have said such a thing to his son.

For Roger’s part, he was confused. Weaver had never mentioned having another son. Rogers knew about Baelfire, of course, but he never knew that Rumplestiltskin and Belle had had a child. It was puzzling to him that a man as passionate about his family as Rogers knew he was, that he never would have spoken of him all the while he knew he was dying after The Dark One took his immortality. But he also didn’t understand the uncanny feeling that he did know this boy.

Alice stepped forward, taking one of Gideon’s hands. “I’m sorry to have to tell you this…” she said. “He…Rumple…”

“Did he do it?” Gideon asked hopefully, his eyes bright like a child’s. “Did he find a way back to Mama?”

“He did,” Roger’s said, firmly, because he wouldn’t let this boy think for a minute that there was any doubt.

Pain lanced through Gideon features, but he was still smiling. “I never doubted he would. Were you the Guardian?” he asked Alice.

“I was,” Alice said. “But Rumple wouldn’t let me do it. He didn’t want to give me immortality.”

“He wouldn’t let me, either. He loved you, you know, I could tell from his letters. I know what most people thought of him, but once you were in my Papa’s heart, he doesn’t let you go.”

“I know,” Alice whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I loved him too.”

“But if there was no Guardian…”

“He did it to save me,” Roger’s interrupted. “He traded his life, risked his chance to get back to your mother, all to save my life…” he took Alice’s other hand. “To keep Alice from losing her father. To save all of us. He uh…he gave me his heart.

Gideon glanced automatically at Roger’s chest, but he was still smiling, though it was now joined by tears. “Like I said…once you’re in his heart…”

“I have something,” Alice said, waving her hand, making a porcelain teacup appear in her palm. She’d explained to Rogers what that cup had meant to Rumple, and Rogers was assailed by an image of Weaver painstakingly gluing the pieces back together after it had been broken.

“He gave this to me,” she said, cradling it gently, and Roger’s heart broke. That cup had been given a spot of honor on her and Robin’s mantle, and he knew she loved it. “Oh! And there’s this…Regina found it…” she waved her other hand, and a book appeared.

“Mama’s travel book!” Gideon exclaimed, opening it and grinning to see a picture of his parents, with a baby that was presumably him sitting between them.

Rogers craned his neck to look. He’d never actually seen a picture of Belle before. And damn. Nice work, Weaver.

Gideon took the cup, and smiled fondly at it for a moment before handing it back to Alice. “If Papa gave this to you, it means you truly are someone special to him. You should keep it.”

“A…are you sure?” Alice said, cradling it back to her chest possessively.

“I’m sure,” Gideon said. “I have this,” he held up the book. “Plus a million memories,” he sighed, shifting from foot to foot, before glancing back at the shop. “I guess I’ll…head back to school. I’ll be graduating soon! But I…”

Roger’s watched the boy’s shoulders slump, and he looked at Alice imploringly, hoping she knew better than he what to do.

“Do you have to go right away?” she asked. “My fiancée, Robin is making dinner. She’s a great cook. My papa’s coming to dinner…won’t you join us?”

For a moment Gideon looked like he would politely refuse, so Rogers spoke up. “Come on, lad. I hear most schools have suspended lessons right now while the dust settles. I’d like to hear more about your father. The real one. The one we knew.”

“I’d like that,” Gideon said at last.

 After dinner, Rogers headed home, and invited Gideon along to stay the night, since it was too late to be heading back to Elfin Academy.

“She does remind me a bit of her,” Gideon said as they walked along the sidewalk, heading out of town. “Alice I mean. She reminds me a little of my mother. Mostly that unending positivity.”

“That’s Alice,” Rogers said proudly. “And from what I understand, your mother always saw the best in people. Alice is like that.”

“No wonder Papa was so fond of her,” Gideon said.

They were silent for a time, before Gideon spoke up again, barely more than a whisper. “I’m an orphan now.”

“So am I,” Rogers said, just as quietly.

Gideon chuckled, but it was without any humor. “I have no one. No one. I have a few friends at school, but not that many people have been able to look past the fact that I’m the son of the Dark One. I get that it was what he wanted. I wanted it for him. My father had been alive an unimaginable amount of time. He deserves to be at peace, damn it.”

“So, you wonder why you’re so angry?” Rogers offered

Gideon glared at him, but it quickly melted into a look of helplessness. “I was still here. He wasn’t alone, even without Mama.”

“No, he wasn’t,” Rogers said. “And I hope it comforts you some to know he wasn’t alone when he died.”

“That’s something. I just wish I could have been there too.”

They were quiet a little longer, while Rogers tried to figure out what to say. “I’ve never been in love. Not really. The love your parents shared, real and genuine True Love…that’s something I can hardly imagine. It must have been hell for him, trying to live without her.”

“It was,” Gideon agreed. “I do understand. I do. I want to feel that kind of love someday.”

“You will. Alice told you Rumplestiltskin wouldn’t let her become the guardian to save her mortality. She told me he said to her that she deserved to grow older and fall in love. And she has. You will too, in time.”

Gideon shrugged. “Maybe, but I think a love like my parents’ doesn’t come along that often.”

“You may be right there.”

They continued on, leaving the confines of Storybrooke, and entering the area designated as “The Enchanted Forest.”

“Why don’t you and I go back to the pawnshop tomorrow?” Rogers asked. “It’s technically yours, right? Who knows what we could find in that place.”

“I’d like that,” Gideon said, smiling. “And…Rogers? I’m glad my Papa had friends, real friends, before he…went.”

Rogers smiled back. “Aye. And Gideon? You don’t have to be alone, now. You do have family.”

Gideon snorted. “Do I?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Henry your uncle? There are at least two Henrys running around this place. And, well, I’m fairly sure your father adopted Alice and Robin as his daughters.”

Gideon squinted at Rogers from the corner of his eye. “Are you my stepdad?”

Rogers grimaced and laughed. “Let’s not. All I mean is, you don’t have to be alone, lad. You have us now. And Alice has taken a shine to you, and let me tell you, once that girl gets hold of you, she does not let you go!”

 But the truth was, Rogers did care intensely for Gideon, almost as much as he did for Alice. The possible reasoning didn’t come to him until later that night, as he tried to sleep.

Rumplestiltskin’s heart.

It beat in his chest, alongside his own. It beat for the love of his family. Alice, Robin, Henry, Lucy, Regina…Gideon.

Rogers didn’t know how he would ever be able to explain it to anyone, let alone the boy, but he thought maybe Gideon guessed already.

Rumple’s heart or no…the man had cared for Alice at a time when Rogers was unable, and Rogers could do no less for his son.

That night he dreamed, and in his dream he saw Rumplestiltskin, looking younger and happier than he’d ever seen him, flanked on either side by a petite, stunning woman in a golden dress, and a taller man who resembled both Rumple and Gideon in ways.

He didn’t speak, but Rogers was given a feeling of gratitude, and heard without words, “Take care of them for us…old friend.”

When Rogers awoke, he felt calmer, more assured, since he had since he awoke in Hyperion Heights.

He didn’t know what he was going to do with his life, whether he’d be a cop or a sailor or something else entirely. He didn’t know if he would ever find love like Rumplestiltskin and Belle. But he didn’t care about living opposite the other Hook anymore. He was real. And he had purpose.

Starting with the twenty-year-old boy sheepishly rummaging through his pantry. He was going to buy the boy breakfast at Granny’s, and then drag him along to shop for a wedding dress for Alice. Later they’d go to Mr. Gold’s Pawnshop. Maybe hunt down a Henry or two.

Don’t worry, mate, he thought to himself, patting his chest. “I’ll make you proud.”

[reconditarmonia]

Dear Trick or Treater

Hi! Thank you for writing for me! I’m reconditarmonia here and on AO3. I have anon messaging off, but mods can contact me with any questions.

Alternate Universe Works | Assassin's Creed | Far from the Madding Crowd | Fidler Afn Dakh | Simoun | Sleep No More

General likes:

– Relationships that aren’t built on romance or attraction. They can be romantic or sexual as well, but my favorite ships are all ones where it would still be interesting or compelling if the romantic component never materialized.

– Loyalty kink! Trust, affectionate or loving use of titles, gestures of loyalty, replacing one’s situational or ethical judgment with someone else’s, risking oneself (physically or otherwise) for someone else, not doing so on their orders. Can be commander-subordinate or comrades-in-arms.

– Heists, or other stories where there’s a lot of planning and then we see how the plan goes.

– Femslash, complicated or intense relationships between women, and female-centric gen. Women doing “male” stuff (possibly while crossdressing).

– Stories whose emotional climax or resolution isn’t the sex scene, if there is one.

– Uniforms/costumes/clothing.

– Stories, history, and performance. What gets told and how, what doesn’t get told or written down, behavior in a society where everyone’s consuming media and aware of its tropes, how people create their personas and script their own lines.

Smut Likes: clothing, uniforms, sexual tension, breasts, manual sex, cunnilingus, grinding, informal d/s elements, intensity; stories whose resolution isn’t the sex scene. DNW "pussy."

General DNW: rape/dubcon, torture, other creative gore; unrequested AUs, including “same setting, different rules” AUs such as soulmates/soulbonds; PWP; food sex; embarrassment; focus on pregnancy; Christmas/Christian themes; focus on unrequested canon or non-canon ships; unrequested trans versions of characters.

I am requesting exclusively fic, but open to art treats!

—

Fandom: Alternate Universe Works (Treat or Trick)

Character(s): Female Li Shang (Mulan 1998), Female Ishmael (Moby Dick), Female Captain Ahab (Moby Dick), Pokémon Trainer Harrowhark Nonagesimus

Female Shang - I would...just love it so much if you Monstrous Regiment-ed this canon up. Shang also being a woman would give her even more reasons to be a hardass (is she in disguise, and thinks that her regiment failing would invite suspicion on her? is she openly female and needs to prove that she’s as good as her father and the country need her to be? is she paranoid about other women in the army, or does she want to have a female regiment?) If you want to write F!Shang/Mulan, I’d also love to know how falling in love with a woman plays into Mulan’s whole arc - it’s certainly not what her family was preparing her for, but neither was being a soldier and saving China. What does seeing another woman dressed as a man (whether Shang is openly female or not, I imagine she’d wear men’s clothes), or a group of women dressed as men, make her think? What are Yao, Chien Po, and Ling like in an AU where they’re also female, if that’s what you choose to write?

I’d be happy for just about anything in this vein - Shang character study, Mulan/Shang romance/sex (this is a canon that is a Lot about bodies and clothes), gen shenanigans with the rest of the squad, both? During canon or post? I love loyalty kink and butch characters a lot.

Female Ishmael, Female Ahab - I’d love to know more about these female sailor(s) and what drives them. A female Ishmael might still decide to sign on to a ship whenever she gets the blues, but it’d be socially fairly different, mightn’t it? (Worldbuilding-wise, I’d be more interested in a world where sailing and whaling are still typically male things as in our world, even if you make them a little less exclusively male, than an egalitarian or matriarchal world; something that women might do, without necessarily disguising themselves as men, but a GNC thing to do.) Would her already diverging from the “expected” female path in this regard affect her reception of Queequeg as someone who’s an outsider to Nantucket society? And, if Queequeg is also female, the the intimacy she offers? What does she still find outlandish? (If you also write f!Queequeg, is her life a typical female life for her home culture, or not?)

As for Ahab - just imagine this fanatic, tragic, vengeful character as a woman - with the willpower not only to do all the things canonical male Ahab does but also in a society where women aren’t really supposed to sail or kill or lead! Is she the odd one out in an otherwise male crew, or are there more women in the crew by the time she’s captain?

Pokémon Trainer Harrow - It's a great idea!! I think she'd have a Duskull, but I'm very open to any choices you make in Pokemon-ing this universe up. Do different houses tend towards different types or no? What are their different cultures around Pokémon raising, training, and fighting? What is Harrow's relationship with her Pokémon like, singular or plural? (I don't need you to think through the implications of what Lyctorhood entails in this setting if you'd rather just write slice of life, and, you know, I was writing this and realized that that might make Harrow's Pokémon Gideon. Thanks, brain, I hate it. DNW Gideon as a Pokémon.)

—

Fandom: Assassin's Creed (Treat only)

Character(s): Aveline de Grandpré

I'm close to finishing AC Liberation and I love Aveline a lot! I really like how she basically makes New Orleans into her own little fiefdom and does what she feels like doing. Not in a #girlpower way, but in the sense where she considers herself to be the best person to judge and decide in any situation and to deal with happenings on any level in her various personas, and where becoming a business magnate is actually a part of her character and plot in a way that it wasn't so much for earlier Assassins? I imagine Assassins from other places talking about New Orleans and going "oh yeah, Aveline de Grandpré runs that whole city from the shadows," and then you go there to talk to her and she pulls a Lexa (as in The 100) where she uses her slave disguise to eavesdrop on you while you wait to meet with this Assassin lady merchant.

I like her friendships with other characters too - Gérald being there as the loyal support guy, Élise and Roussillon being the people she can be at ease with (she seems so happy to see them - "Bonjour, smugglers!"). I'd be happy to see something set in New Orleans as she takes it over or after she takes it over, in the Bayou as she lives there in a very different way (where and how does she sleep when she's there?), or in Chichen Itza if you want to expand on her discovery of all the weird shit. [Edit: I've finished the game now and I also like the aspect of her mission with Connor that's about how sometimes Assassin "brother"s from other locations will show up where you, another Assassin, are because there's something they need to find or do, and you'll work together? I guess that's also the premise of AC Rev, but.]

I do ship her with Élise and would love to read that if you do too! Fighting together, whether in the Bayou or on a mission further afield that's just them; Élise visiting Aveline in New Orleans for some reason (what if they go to a fancy party together with Élise dressed as a man?); downtime fluff?

Fandom-Specific DNW: Aveline/men, even mentioned or out-of-focus.

—

Fandom: Far From the Madding Crowd (Treat or Trick)

Character(s): Bathsheba Everdene

One thing that always sticks in my mind about this novel is the way Hardy calls Bathsheba “the young farmer” just as he refers to the men as farmers - which, just saying, is more than most people writing about this story can do - and so, that being the case, what I’m most interested in is something about Bathsheba as farmer. One day in the life or four seasons in the life or five plantings/harvests in the life, or pseudo-academic fic about a case study of a woman farmer in the Victorian era, or a conflict between the farm and nature that Bathsheba has to decide how to solve.

Feel free to bring in other characters if it suits what you’re trying to do, but what I’m really looking for is a focus on Bathsheba’s work, determination, and process of learning. (I like how Bathsheba’s relationship with Gabriel ends up playing out in canon, but I don’t want shipfic.) Other ideas: something like a merchant ship AU (as the first alternate setting that came to mind where it would be not exactly the done thing for her to captain her inherited ship and make commercial decisions herself - although I do have to point out that contrary to popular belief, there were a lot of women on shipboard in the age of sail, may this be useful - but also where nature and luck/fate are as influential as they are in the original setting), or something in which the land, superstition, and ritual are more overtly magical. I LOVE English folk magic and ritual shit.

I’ve requested both tricks and treats for this fandom, but would prefer that the outlook of the fic, including if you decide to incorporate non-canon magical/spooky/occult elements, be ultimately positive rather than the doom and gloom that canon leans toward at times. A seasonal treat would be right up the alley of this request.

—

Fandom: Fidler Afn Dakh (Treat or Trick)

Character(s): The Fiddler

I would love to read about the Fiddler from the recent Yiddish production of Fiddler on the Roof, understanding him/her/them as a real person with a backstory, present and future rather than a symbol. They seem to be female (and their actor describes them as female) but wear men's clothes and are on the men's side at the wedding, and everyone seems cool with that? I'm 100% on board with any gender identity you decide you'd like to write them with. How did he/she/they come to be who they are, and what are their interpersonal relationships (platonic, familial, romantic, any gender) like? What might an encounter between them and the supernatural be or have been like? Have they always lived in Anatevka or do they wander from village to village?

Fandom-Specific DNW: antisemitism as the focus of the story. I've requested both tricks and treats, and I acknowledge that it'd be unreasonable to pretend that antisemitism doesn't exist in the world of the story, but I would prefer for any dark/scary elements to come from supernatural horror (I grew up with Singer and other Jewish folklore horror, give me as many dybbuks and demons and witches as you like) rather than the human capacity for racist violence.

—

Fandom: Simoun (Treat only)

Character(s): Neviril

I've just completed a rewatch of this show, and it has reaffirmed for me that I love Neviril. She's a leader in both a military and a religious sense, respected by her squad and by the populace, but figuring out what that means to her is such a personal journey. I still love her scene in the hearing where she speaks aloud what no one has wanted to admit or talk about - that they're soldiers now, this is war, can they still call themselves priestessses? - but I was also struck on this rewatch by how Chor Tempest increasingly becomes a player in itself in the politicking (the bit in Episode 21 where the whole lot of them fly out against orders, because it's what they, with Neviril leading and giving voice to the group, think is what their role is about), and by the scenes of her blessing the people (when iirc she is needed elsewhere by the military governor for flight purposes) and Paraietta (after what Paraietta did to her).

I love the military aspects of this canon in general (and the associated tropes of loyalty and trust and bravery and positive/negative relationship to authority) and that definitely ties in to Neviril figuring out what her role is as the squad leader, but I'm also just here for that very process of figuring it out and defining it for herself.

So...what happens to her post-canon? What is the "new world" and her travel in it like? If she makes it back to the main world when war is brewing again, but her old cohort can't fly anymore, what does she see her role as being - a leader for peace, for war, something else? How do she and Aer interact with Paraietta, Rodoreamon, Floef, and/or Vyuraf?

Ship-wise, Aer/Neviril grew on me a lot! I appreciated Aer more as the determined bit-of-a-loose-cannon type than as the manic pixie this time, and noted Neviril's comments about how she was drawn to Aer's determination. But I'd also be up for a poly situation where she's involved with both Aer and Paraietta, who are friends, or, I guess, one where it's a three-way relationship, although I don't personally know what the Aer/Paraietta side would be like! (I do like how they work together in battle even when they're shown as having personal issues.)

—

Fandom: Sleep No More (Treat or Trick)

Character(s): Bald Witch, Sexy Witch

One of my favorite things about Sleep No More was the idea of this world of darkness and magic that’s underlying or intertwined with the social world, rather than in a separate space - I loved seeing the Witches at the ball and, holy shit, Bald Witch pulling off her wig after the ball in her solo ritual thing! (I hadn’t realized it was a wig until that moment.) So -

how do either of these witches interact with the normal world (Paisley/the hotel/etc.) or deliberately carve out other spaces (like the apothecary shop)? For that matter, I love the apothecary shop and Bald Witch's scene in it A LOT, so more about that would be awesome.

How did the Witches find each other - was it before or after they were witches?

Are they immortal, and if so, what’s that like for either or both of them?

How much do they have a day-to-day life vs. witching all the time?

Their card game is super cool and I'd love to know more about the Witches and cards.

I was very struck on my last visit by Sexy Witch's dance for Hecate after the rave. The fan material seems to describe it as her having trouble coming down, but it felt to me like pleading with Hecate for more power, more magic.

If you want to ship them together, and/or with Hecate (or both) I’m very up for that as well. Some sexy prompts if you go in that direction -

ritual sex magic to make something happen or share power?

If they have non-witch personas and sleep together while they’re being normal people, is there still magic?

Sex in one of the play locations - the apothecary, the ballroom, the bar that’s the empty shell of the real bar?

Slow dancing nude, or another inverted version of something in the normal world?

Fandom-Specific DNW: f/m ships with requested characters

[lotrewrite]

8/19 Chat Recap

Same as the previous recap - I'm mostly keeping the comments intact! Putting the more fun/general stuff above the cut:

SNEAK PEEK of the COLORED tarot cards: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/jq1lm3nd64sx9d3/AAC5qUDB6EvTK28tqE1zffExa?dl=0

Playlist: I think we really need an official playlist for this? There's no depression in new zealand, yo ho, come on eileen, istanbul not constantinople...POC crossed with AC Black Flag music...XD Backstreet boys in the 90s! ep. 13 playlist has to be mercedes sosa; argentinian singer who had to go into exile during the dictatorship. I’m Henry the Eight I Am for the Tudor episode, plus Pastime With Good Company someone should make a playlist for all the episodes maybe when we're posting the episodes I'll make a music suggestion post each day :) that way people can suggest songs based on the final version

INTROS:

We should try to split them up semi-evenly, but also depending on who the episode focuses on.

1 – Mick?

2 – [Ray] [proposed]

3 – [Nate] [proposed]

4 – Sara

5 – Jax

6 – Lisa

7 – [Stein] [proposed]

8 – Rip

9 – Mick

10 – Amaya

11 – Jax

12 – Gideon

13 – Len

14 – Sara

15 – Stein

16 – Hosts

17 – [Ray] [proposed]

18 – Amaya

19 – Mick

20 – [Legion] [proposed]

21 – [Legion OR Sara]

22 - Len

Thoughts? There's only one Ray one so far, despite him having several Ray-centric episodes. Not sure what we would switch, though!

General Points:

can O!Len change his clothes? He had a beer from somewhere in ep6 I think, so can he have objects? i think it'd make more sense if he's 'full ghost' so to speak; I think he can't change his clothes or interact with objects until later in the season. As much as I'd love for more dress-up for Len, I think he works best as a ghost

Interesting consistency note: Because Anne gave away the spear piece, her life went to hell. That is a terrifying but wonderful thought. we have something similar with Ching and her history, because she also suffers defeats after her spear piece is gone And technichally the ship in new zealand sinks after they take the piece, too They could have had a chance to change their fates but they lost/gave away the spear pieces and thus couldn't

Stephanie Fisher - we should at the very least give her a shout-out for all her wonderful comments. I vote we give Stephanie some kind of award, not just for the comments, but for ALWAYS catching Damien Darhk's name and correcting it!!!!!

just generally, I really love the snarky Gideon we have. And Jax. I love Jax so much this season. and I even like Stein again! I wasn't a big fan of Ray, but I think we've managed to redeem him as well and Sara is actually the badass captain we wanted her to be

Sara's journey is soooo good. Ray here is isolated, but not so terribly self centered like he was on the show. Like, as the season goes, he goes from being traumatized and lonely, to struggling with his identity, to accepting his identity and...I guess, growing more comfortable with himself and others??

Oh, question: Does Gideon still call Rip Captain Hunter and Sara Ms Lance? Or Mr Hunter and Captain Lance now? I think I went with both of them being called Captain

MaryWisdom might just do a German translation; DaughterOfScotland can help

just checking, we're all having Queen Bee use the amulet for her powers, right? Yes

Episode 9 Turncoat was my favorite canon ep and I feel like it only got better Jax and Amaya were so much better here than canon's "cuddle for warmth pwp" I feel like the rat sequence in ep 9 is actually a really great lead-up to episode 10 btw since we're talking about Ray, I really hope somebody makes one of those little things that fly across your screen with Ray and his rocket boot, and maybe the poor rat too XD

Episode 10 Because ep 10 was /also/ AMAZING that intro sequence was gold from start to finish There was so much world-building, character-building, and humor I really liked the villain sequences too There's some great exchanges there! The interactions were really in character! Oh, and the Amaya sequences with the British? PERFECT I love how Amaya continues to question her own knowledge and keeps evolving it was just such a fun ride honestly I think the lead up to Ray using the cold gun worked too? Oculus!Len giving it the tacit OK was such a balm Len is SO BORED he just wants to see Ray totally fail and laugh and Ray screwing up just worked so well as symbolism for his identity struggles also, I am so sad this isn't actually visual/audio because now I want someone to put together a short clip with the Waverider flying away, then pan down to a ship and you hear the "yo ho" song

Episode 11 I'm a bit bummed we haven't been able to fit in Stein singing, but I'll look over it again and maybe we can find a spot Maybe we could get that into episode 11? I've had there's no depression in new zealand stuck in my head for almost two days now btw episode 11, any more comments, or should we go back to it next week once people have had a chance to look it over? prob the best to look at it again tbh

Episode 12 OH MY GOD 12!!! THE TERROR! it was so good KAKO YOU MADE ME SCREAM literally, my phone rang during the Mick scene and I legit screamed the way you worked in the movie references so organically was genius THE LEN REVEAL WAS PERFECT was the ending scene of 12 okay? the scene with Mick and Sara I liked it a lot that was beautiful I knew I was gonna love this episode the moment it was pitched, but you exceeded all my expectations <3 so well done it's perfect That episode is definitely going to turn heads. It is very different compared to the rest and will stand out! perfect for the mid-season finale Is there a way we can make it a real mid-season finale? aka not post for aday or two afterwards? Well, if we start posting on the 1st and it's 22 episodes, with a month of 30 days... if we started on Sept 4 and posted every day, I think we'd end up with it falling on a weekend Sept 4, posting every day, would make 12 fall on a Friday We could then restart the next Monday

Episode 13 I LOVE THE INTRO I like the "did you learn that in school?" mention. Because the history classes suck yes that is a GREAT cold open the episode was really powerful also, the umbrella scenes were hilarious it really was, the tension followed throughout and was quite perfectly cut through with the UTTERLY FLAWLESS umbrella scenes Also, bitching Legion. This is great, seeing as we want them to implode also: the Len and Gideon scene <3 basically everything was fantastic i know we need to add the rip intro scene, but is there anything else you think we should work on? there were a few suggestions, but those are already in the google doc - overall I think it was an incredible episode, and you guys should be proud - you dealt with a really heavy topic really well Quick question to eisode 13... the Spanish they all got the pill, but we kind of wanted to show the other side of it, like what it sounded like to the woman at the bakery Like the Legends go into the bakery - then we see the woman working inside and it's from HER perspective, and there's spanish dialogue and then it switches to english and we're back to the Legends POV If you wanted it from the woman's POV, maybe start the scene with the woman? as in, she's working inside the register, and then some guys come in and buy stuff and then stay with her a second as they walk out and she's kinda wondering what's up, then shrugs and goes back to work then we jump back to the Legends talking in English she picks up on Mick being distracted by something that's not there i keep craving churros every time I look at this episode I loved how you guys mixed in the light-hearted scenes in with all the heavy stuff yeah it was really well balanced RIP EXITS, PURSUED BY MICK!!!

Episode 14 Sara saves the timeline with a threesome XD nuff said LOVED the bit where Amaya realises that Sara is dancing with the King! So fitting, too, because of my episode following with all the Shakespeare :D I think... I think I didn't actually mentioned an abberation? Just the spear piece rip found there Alternatively Rip is using his Time Master skills to find a piece before it ever causes an abberation That was what I was going for. He finds it, or thinks he did ooh. i like that. but if it is that then i don't think you should mention the witchcraft rumors The rumors that she bewitched Henry had been around for a long time already. Thy say that tht's the reason he left his wife and Rip thinks it's related to the spear piece but it's just generally people being shit can I just say, I really loved all the scenes with Amaya and Jax? seconded My only thing to add is, and I think I mentioned that in the comments, that it would be great if you could fit the Legion in somewhere Yeah, I agree with you. I'll put it in that they arrive late and Len is like "I got this", I think Before I forget: can I suggest Sara to narrate the intro? the last one she did was ep4

Episode 15 basically Kendra's Old West incarnation and the New York Riots incarnaton exist at the same time OW!Kendra doesn't have a name, so she *could* be Josephine from the NYR 8 years prior and that would make that Carter Hannibal  but then her Carter should be named Hannibal, not Shay :( his name could be Hannibal and then he goes by Shay Or he could've changed his name when they moved out west due to being wanted under his old name Just... don't explain it. Leave it for the reader to figure out. And wonder :P (for what it's worth, I thought 15 was delightful and SO GOOD at actually USING history the way a time travel story should) More next week

Episode 19 I could knight Ystina! that would be AWESOME!

[clockworkopera]

LORD OF SHADOWS THEORIES: (Part 1)

Disclaimer: My theories are built not just on the Dark Artifices, but from all the previous books as a whole, and will contain spoilers if you haven’t read them. I haven’t watched the Shadowhunter TV series, so these ideas are based solely on book canon.

(This was written before LoS was released, and while so some of theories are out of date they are still interesting!)

ON THE PARABATAI BOND: THE SILENT BROTHERS AND THE IRON SISTERS:

Silent Brothers are twisted and mutilated, and I think Angel magic done right isn’t going to make them look that way (See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, and all that).

What makes them so different: Runes. The problem with parabatai who love each other: Runes.

Coincidence?

              When rescuing Tavvy they spoke to each other with their minds (something only the Silent Brothers can do). Their Runes were powerful enough to rival the healing of Silent Brothers. I think Julian had to have used the White Runes (that’s what I’m coining them) to help Emma heal after the whipping, because she was whipped that morning and facing Malcolm that night—no Shadowhunter could have healed that kind of damage that fast. I think because of that incident, coupled with Julian surviving the poisoned crossbolt, Diego is going to become suspicious and nosy (poking into Julian’s locked room), —and may even report his suspicions to his superiors and turn them in.

              Jem says, (LM pg659), “Not everyone has a parabatai, but the fact that they exist is part of what makes Nephilim what they are. Without them, we would be infinitely weaker, in ways it is forbidden for me even to explain.”

Theory: What if the Silent Brothers and Iron Sisters were created as a means of separating Parabatai that become too powerful? Jem was told they go mad, but is that the truth? We take his words as canon, but what if his information isn’t accurate.

Could they just become something too powerful for the Clave to control and that is something the Clave cannot abide by?

So, the Clave separates them: the men become Silent Brothers and the women become Iron Sisters, and their excess magic becomes the fuel for the Clave’s power from everything from wards to witchlight to Seraph blades. But in separating them they become oath breakers before the Angel, sworn always to be together, but forever separated by the Clave and that separation, despair—lack of connection to their humanity turns them into something else. And that something is not good. We assume they are heroes because they saved Jem’s life—but what if they aren’t?

              In ‘After the Bridge’, on Cassandra Clare’s Tumblr, it’s the most we hear about Jem’s life as a Silent Brother. On Tessa: “He’d wondered during his time in Idris, after the heavenly fire had cured him, if it would still be like that with them: if his human feelings would return to him. He had been able to touch her and be near her as a Silent Brother without wanting her as he had when he was a mortal. He had still loved her, but it had been a love of the spirit, not the body. He had wondered—feared, even, that the physical feelings and responses would not come back the way they had. He told himself that even if Silent Brotherhood had killed the ability of his feelings to manifest themselves physically, he would not be disappointed. He had told himself to expect it.”

              And if that isn’t bad enough in COHF (pg233) Jem tells Jace: “We—they don’t die, you know; they fade after many years. Stop speaking, stop moving. Eventually they are entombed alive.” (What do you think Will would have thought of that?) He also says, (COHF pg232), “But, I was never an ordinary Silent Brother.”—we assume it was because of his yinfen poisoning, but could it be he never reached that level of power because he wasn’t in love with Will?  

              If this theory holds true, then how depleted of power would the Shadowhunters have been after Valentine’s attack on the Silent City when so many brothers were killed? And I would then be curious to know what the parabatai rate between orphans and mundane children who ascend (both without families to look for them, or care what happens to them), are compared to the general Shadowhunter population. That’s a good question for Ty’s statistical and analytical mind. And what of Simon who spends a great deal of time extolling the virtues of being Parabatai, (especially to mundane hopefuls), how would he feel presenting the option without telling the full disclosure of it?

              There are tests prospective Parabatai go through and Julian could have faked it with the help of his splash of Eidolon blood and his penchant for lying, but what if the Silent Brothers have been watching them in hopes of gaining new recruits. Carstairs have served them well before and there are a lot of Blackthorns.

              My theory is that if Emma and Julian are caught, they’ll be forced into servitude with these organizations. Traditionally, families were probably told Parabatai pairs heroically died in battle together, while in reality, they were imprisoned with runes behind the Citadel and the Silent City: given new names and identities, separated forever from the families who love them.

Did Silas Pangborn really kill himself? And there is no mention to the fate of Eloisa Ravenscar, his parabatai. The marks used to keep their mouths and eyes permanently closed are the Marks of Fettering (Codex, pg195). The very definition of fettering is to restrain with chains or manacles—that doesn’t seem like a voluntary act, while the Sisters (Codex, pg197), “They wear simple clothes, long white gowns bound tightly at the wrists and waists by demon-wire.” (bound by demon wire?) The book says it is to protect them from the fire of the forge, but maybe that is misleading—why wouldn’t one use Angel wire instead of demon wire in that case?

OR, (I think this would be the case of Julian and Emma) their families would step up to the Clave to keep them from being taken away, and the Clave would kill anyone who got in their way. The Clave cannot allow something as powerful as loved parabatai to exist because they simply cannot control them.

A twisted version of “They would destroy their families, the others they loved. Death would surround them until eventually they died themselves” (LM pg659), becomes true simply because their loved ones fought on their behalf to keep the Clave from taking them and the Clave killed them for interfering—not because they are inherently mad. It becomes a sort of sad self-fulfilling prophecy.

**Note: Silas Pangborn’ s sister, Barbara Lightwood (Gideon, Gabriel and Tatiana’s mother), supposedly killed herself over grief of her brother’s death. Then upon further investigation it was thought she killed herself because her husband gave her the demon pox. And I’m disappointed Charlotte Branwell never asked the question: “Well, my husband is banging demons, perhaps it’s a good idea if I just kill myself now and allow him to raise my three small children.” But, maybe she never killed herself, maybe she was too close to her brother’s secret, trying to help him and Eloisa and was killed for her trouble. The Clave would need an explanation for her death, and Charlotte, I know you had a lot on your mind during the Infernal Devices, but why didn’t you ask that question?

              But, maybe that is something she learned when she became Consul and that leads to…

              I wonder if this is what Henry was working on, a fix of some sort in his secret project with the Iron Sisters and why Clary would want to help. Luke’s mother left two young children to become an Iron Sister, out of the blue, leaving them virtually orphaned. Why? Was this something she had a choice in, or did this scenario happen to her? Sister Cleophas was the one to meet Jocelyn Fairchild and Isabelle Lightwood to talk of the similarities of Sebastian and Jace’s bond and you guessed it—the Parabatai bond.

              In Shadowhunter history how much is true and accurate vs. how much does the Clave wants Shadowhunters to believe is true and accurate? And who writes the Codex and the history books, teaches what is canon law—it’s the Silent Brothers.

              I read a lot of ideas about Cortana being able to cut through anything—meaning the Parabatai bond. I think this is a red herring. I think Cortana is going to have an entirely different purpose.

ON CLARY AND JACE:

Theory: (Codex pg33) Reveals that Henry Branwell was in a long collaboration with the Iron Sisters back in 1914, “the results still remain secret”, and with Clary’s special gift with runes, I think the Iron Sisters want her to work with them for the equivalent of her year abroad—an internship of sorts. I have more on what they might be working on below. But, I don’t think she’ll feel like she can commit to a marriage until she has finished that work—even while she knows that it will evoke all of Jace’s self-doubts and insecurities. Plus, she’d have to tell him she was going away.

***I’m brand new to Tumblr, joined just so I could pass along theories, get feedback and don’t have any followers and I’m not quite sure how to get my ideas out there—so if these ideas intrigue you, please pass them along. Over the next few days I’ll post lots of my theories from the Fae to Church and everything in between. So, please let me know what you think.

[kalinara]

So today’s Rip Hunter Appreciation Week topic is favorite episode.  And honestly, that’s hard to decide!  I think I talked about Out of Time for the last Rip Hunter Appreciation Week.  So this time, I’m going to pick Land of the Lost.

Land of the Lost is basically an episode that seemed like it was designed solely with "appeal to Kalinara" in mind.

One of the things that strikes me about Land of the Lost is how smoothly it wraps up Rip's season 2 story.  I remember back when the season was supposed to have only 13 episodes, without an announced back orders, the creators had said that they planned to finish season 2's arc by episode 13, and use the back half for something new.

Obviously they didn't do that.  Probably because four episodes isn't really long enough to establish a completely new plotline.  So the Spear and Legion arc got stretched out a bit.   But I think they kept Rip's own arc on its original time table.  I honestly think Rip's Moonshot storyline was an early jumpstart on what he'll have in season 3.  (I've mentioned before that, assuming Darvill stays a regular, then his departure in Aruba makes complete sense as part of a storyline branching off of Moonshot.)

But I digress.

As Rip Hunter's season finale, Land of the Lost is a great episode.  It doesn't particularly make sense, but if I watched Legends to make sense, I'd probably have a concussion by now.  What it is, however, is awesome.

Outside of Rip's plot, we have dinosaurs (awesome), an explicit acknowledgement of Amaya's significance to the timeline (which I've wanted for ages), a look at Ray's time in the prehistoric, and Mick actually deciding to use his Chronos experience.  All things that I am happy to check off my wishlist.

And in Rip's plot, we have:

1.  Evil Rip being hot and competent, effortlessly taking over the ship.  And then that truly lovely bit of "fuck you" defiance when he was pinned down, in a ship with an active self destruct, and decided to turn around and (awesomely) blow up the medallion instead of surrendering.

And how awesome was that shot?  Off hand and without aiming!

2.  Sara and Jax getting the main heroic plot to save damsel Rip from his own mind.  They're a great team up that work really well together, and I particularly liked how the episode subtly underscored Rip's relationship with both characters.

3.  A mindscape!  I was a bit sad they couldn't or wouldn't get any of my wishlist characters back (Miranda, Jonas, baby Rip, Savage, Druce, et al), but I thought they did a pretty good job with the budgetary and other constraints.  I thought the concept of the mindscape was coherent (the idea of Rip's conscious mind as the dominated ship, with the warped view of the team works very well with his overall arc.)

And there are so many interesting things to explore ABOUT the mindscape and what subconscious!remnant!Rip might have experienced during the who-knows-how-long period of time he was trapped in his own head.

My "possible future posts" list has so many bits from this episode on it.  It's ridiculous.  (Subconscious Rip vs. Conscious Evil Rip, Evil!Mick, Subconscious Rip's attitude toward the crew(s), and so on!)

4.  GIDEON!  This episode did an amazing job of fleshing out Gideon as a character, rather than just a cheery, sometimes sarcastic/sassy voice that banters with Rip.  From the beginning, we got the whole brig conversation, in which Gideon appeared to be defying orders to speak to evil Rip at all.  (But really, how could she ignore her long-time partner when he called for her?)

Mindscape Gideon was such an interesting kettle of fish.  Not in the least because we finally got to see the woman behind Gideon's voice.  But there is so much interesting analysis about Gideon as a mental projection/concept of Rip, and what exactly that means from his perspective, and then of course how Gideon-the-AI intersects with that concept.

And of course, Time Ship.

(As someone who grew up gobbling Anne McCaffrey's ship series, I find the romantic potential between a man and his AI partner/ship incredibly interesting.  Oddly, I don't have a whole lot of interest in versions of the pairing where Gideon gets a human or physical body, though.  For me, the appeal in the pairing is in all of the unconventional ways they can explore their feelings and regard for one another.)

5.  We actually got to see Rip's bedroom!  In season 1, I had generally started to worry that he didn't have one at all and maybe just slept in his office.  Assuming he slept.  And it was amusing to see that he's STILL a packrat.

6.  Phil isn't dead!  Or he is.  :-(  But Rip does remember being Phil, so at least a little bit of that poor helpless fellow is still alive.

7. Cognitive Intrusion is creepy and violating as fuck, and I am both thrilled and amused that the show finds a way to make the Time Masters worse and worse every time they're mentioned.  I love that Rip disliked the procedure too.

My only tiny quibble is that I wish the crew had shown a tiny bit of doubt in using the machine on Rip.  I'm not saying that they shouldn't have done it.  It was absolutely necessary if they were going to save Henry.  But still, I would have liked them to hesitate a moment when they learned how violating it actually is.

It does appeal to my gallows humor that two mind-rapes make a right though.

8.  And of course there was the reunion at the end, which was everything I could hope for.  Rip, all fragile looking but safe now.  The cautious welcome back.

I still think "I liked you better when you were killing people" is objectively speaking the worst thing any of the protagonists on this show have said to each other.  But Rip doesn't seem to mind.

There is just so much to unpack and dissect and well, it's probably a good thing we have a long hiatus between seasons because my blog audience is going to be SO SICK of all of the crazy follow up posts I'll be making about it.

[wbwest]

New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/06/09/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-6917/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 6/9/17

  In an interesting shake-up over at CBS, Erinn Hayes has been let go from her role as wife to Kevin James in Kevin Can Wait. They say that the show is going in a new direction, which necessitated the firing. But here’s where it gets interesting. Leah Remini, who played James’s wife on King of Queens, popped up in the season finale as James’ former cop partner. Well, just before announcing Hayes’s departure, CBS announced that Remini would be joining the show next season as a series regular. Now, if you’ve never seen Kevin Can Wait, Kevin James plays a former NYC cop who tries to figure out how to adjust to his recent retirement. Based on the season finale, though, it seems like James’s character might be coming out of retirement. It’s just a strange move, seeing as how the show ended the season as the #1 new comedy on network TV – hardly a situation that necessitated a retooling of the show. Part of what critics praised was Hayes’s portrayal of James’s wife of 20 years. How do you just gloss over that relationship? I mean, they’ve gotta kill her off, but unless you do a time jump, you’ve gotta slog through all the grief stuff, which doesn’t lend itself well to a multicam comedy. And if they’re gonna fast track a relationship between James and Remini, will the audience accept it? It really feels like they blew a sure thing and, if they wanted to recreate The King of Queens, thy should’ve just revived The King of Queens! I’ve said that online since Kevin was announced!

Speaking of Remini, I’m starting to think she’s a Scientology double agent. Bear with me here: Scientology is a well-connected organization in Hollywood that allegedly has the power to ruin your career with the information that they have on their members. If you ever leave the church, you’re pretty much done. Just look at the list of former Scientologists. On that list, Remini and Jeffrey Tambor are the one ones who even have a semblance of a steady career right now, and Tambor kinda skirted the issue by saying he never really joined the church. Remini, however, joined up as a child, and was a HUGE booster of the church. Then, in 2013, she turned on the church – not for its negative views on homosexuality (which is why Crash director Paul Haggis left) or its alleged illegal activities. No, she left because she got her feelings hurt after leadership clapped back at her. At Tom Cruise’s wedding to Katie Holmes, Remini asked why church leader David Miscavige’s wife wasn’t in attendance, and they basically told her she didn’t have clearance for that info (formal speak for “Nunyo Biznazz”). She didn’t trust that answer, and went further to file a missing persons report on Mrs. Miscavige. Then, she made it her mission to publicly discredit Miscavige, criticizing his leadership, citing reports of abuse in the Sea Org, and more. She went straight to the TOP with her blame game, yet NOTHING has happened to her. In fact, it’s probably rejuvenated her career. She got a successful show on A&E called Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath, where she’s basically telling all their secrets. When the show debuted, the church issued a statement attacking her. Yet, she’s working more now than she was before. So, there’s two things happening here: either Scientology isn’t as powerful and litigious as we’ve been led to believe OR they’re in on it. It’s yin and yang. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. While Scientology has its critics, it never really had an enemy before. Why not create one where they could control the narrative? It’s like learning that Captain America has secretly been Hydra the whole time. Long story short, I’m not entirely convinced she’s left the church, especially over something as trivial as what’s reported to have started the whole thing. And she’s laughing all the way to the bank.

In other TV news, Tia and Tamera Mowry (yeah, they got married and have new hyphenated last names, but I ain’t got time for all that) are trying to get a Sister, Sister revival off the ground. And I don’t know anyone who wants this. If you were cool back in the 90s you probably never watched Sister, Sister, where a set of adopted twins didn’t realize they were twins until a chance meeting in a department store, a la The Parent Trap. Then they all move in together. It was the definition of “mediocre”, yet once ABC canceled it, it gained a new life over on The WB. The most memorable thing about it was that Marques “Batman” Houston, of the R&B group Immature/IMx, played their annoying neighbor Roger (kinda like a watered down Steve Urkel), and they’d constantly yell “Go home, Roger!” at him. Other than that, it was just a bunch of zany, mistaken identity twin shit – stuff that I’d hope adult Tia and Tamera had outgrown by now. What’s the story to tell? They both get divorced, and move in together with their kids? Sorry, Kate & Allie, Getting By, and the upcoming Raven’s Home have already covered that old chestnut. Are they single in the city, doing the same twin shit? Not interested. I don’t have a lot of faith in this one getting picked up, though, because they’re far behind where they need to be. Right now, they say they’re looking for a show runner to guide the project, but then they’d have to find a network. Sister, Sister was NO Full House, so I doubt Netflix would be interested. If anything, the only place I’d put it right now would probably be Freeform, even though the twins are slightly older than the target demo of that channel. Let this just be a lesson that not everything needs to be revived.

In other television news, DC’s Legends of Tomorrow has cast Tala Ashe as Muslim “hacktivist” Zari Adrianna Tomaz for season 3. She’s a computer whiz from 2030, so basically the team’s got their own Oracle/Felicity now – not that they really need it, with Gideon and all. Anyway, in comics Tomaz is actually an Egyptian who uses the Amulet of Isis to transform into the hero Isis. Before the New 52 reboot of the DC Universe, Isis was an important character in the weekly series 52, as she was in a relationship with Black Adam, and her brother, Osiris, was eaten by Sobek. Oh, and she had a cheesy TV show in the 70s. None of that’s gonna be in the Legends, I’m sure. Given the current political climate, and how loaded the name “Isis” is right now, I doubt they’ll actually ever call her that onscreen, either.

Song of the Week

Today I give you “Vampires”, by The Midnight. My pal and thrifting partner, “Special Forces”, and I decided that this is the official theme song for Thrift Justice should it ever become a real show. Synthwave AND saxophone?! I wanna direct Skinemax movies just so I can score them with this entire album. So sexy. Right now, Thrift Justice is a USA drama circa 1990, and I ain’t got no problems with that!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

Modern Family‘s Sarah Hyland will guest star on Freeform’s Shadowhunters, which kinda sounds like a step back…

Speaking of Freeform, they’ve ordered a pilot for an American adaptation of UK hit Misfits. The network is a good home for something like this, but I’m still pissed over the American adaptation of Skins, so…

Rudy Huxtable herself, Keshia Knight Pulliam, escorted TV dad Bill Cosby to the first day of his rape trial. Whatever. Call me when Lisa Bonet shows up.

In next level pettiness, Taylor Swift put her entire catalog back on Spotify at midnight – at the very moment Katy Perry released her album “Witness”

According to Dan Aykroyd, Paul Feig blew his chance at a Ghostbusters sequel because he overran his budget on unnecessary reshoots. Sony refuted the figures Aykroyd presented, saying the estimates were off by about NINETY percent. Woo!

Jennifer Connelly will join Daveed Diggs in TNT’s Snowpiercer pilot, playing the person who makes the daily announcements on the train. Exciting!

Tom Cruise revealed that the title of the Top Gun sequel will be Top Gun: Maverick. I wonder if John McCain has any feelings about that. Coherent feelings, not ramblings about the Diamondbacks…

Speaking of Cruise, his The Mummy reboot opens today, and reviewers have called it “the worst Tom Cruise movie ever”. Wow.

Singer/actress/sister of Ray J Brandy was found unconscious on a Delta flight, and the doctor who came to her rescue was reportedly Kim Kardashian’s uncle! Considering Ray J put that family on the map, I figure it’s time the Kardashians did something to return the favor.

Gotham stars Morena Baccarin and Ben McKenzie got married. Knowing that show, it’ll probably revealed that they’re Bruce’s real parents or some shit. It’s not like it pays attention to any of the rest of the lore, so why not?

Fox canceled 24 Legacy after a low-rated single season, but they’re still committed to the 24 brand. They’re reportedly developing an anthology series to take the show back to its real-time roots

Like Peter denied Jesus, Jerry Seinfeld denied THREE requests for a hug from Kesha. I don’t blame him!

In one of the strangest deals I’ve ever heard of, Epix has inked a deal to stream its content directly to 2018 Honda Odyssey  minivans

Sony will begin selling clean versions of some of their hit movies. If you’ve ever accidentally bought a clean version of an album from Walmart, you can see why this decision might anger some folks

Hank Williams Jr is back singing the opening to Monday Night Football for the first time since 2011. I guess all his rowdy friends will be over after they finish burning a few more crosses…

George and Amal Clooney welcomed twins Ella and Alexander

Former Power Rangers director/producer/fight coordinator Koichi Sakamoto will direct the upcoming Ultraman Geed series, focusing on the son of the evil Ultraman Belial. Yeah, those words mean something to someone out there.

Newcomer Blu Hunt has been cast as Danielle Moonstar in the upcoming New Mutants spinoff of the X-Men films.

A live action adaptation of Cowboy Bebop is being developed, and my heart weeps. As one of the few anime series I’ve watched, and loved, I kinda hope this dies in development hell

Hackers released 8 stolen episodes of ABC’s upcoming game show, Funderdome, and nobody cared.

Donald Glover will be retiring her Childish Gambino hip hop persona after his next album.

We got our first poster for the Black Panther film.

Last week I gave my opinions and feelings on the movie. This week, I’m just gonna stick to the facts:

92% on Rotten Tomatoes

$103 million opening weekend domestic box office

$220 million opening weekend global box office

Third highest opening for a DC film

Most successful female-directed film

Mot expensive female-directed film, with a budget of $150 million

Most tweeted about movie of 2017, with 2.19 million tweets

Won Best In Show and Best Fantasy/Adventure at the Golden Trailer Awards

Last Saturday, Wonder Woman Day was celebrated at comic shops around the world

You’ve seen it by now, right? RIGHT?! Then, what are you waiting for? For these reasons, and more, Wonder Woman once again had the West Week Ever.

[theastrophilearchitect]

Recent reads #2.

Hello! ‘Tis the day after the first one of these was posted, but I already have another book to talk about. So, here’s ten books I read recently.

1. Bridge of Souls by Victoria Schwab (Cassidy Blake #3)

This is book three in Schwab’s Cassidy Blake series, a middle grade series focused on a twelve-year-old girl who recently had a near-death experience, and, ever since, has been able to see ghosts. More than that, her parents have started filming a TV show about haunted places, and Cassidy has to learn to navigate the Veil beyond the world of the living while trying to fend off malevolent spirits.

Book one takes Cassidy to Edinburgh, book two to Paris, and this brings us to New Orleans. It’s just a short, easy read, without complicated subplots or hundreds of pages of build-up. It’s not one of those books where you have to reread the series to understand the sequel, because it gives you a recap, and it’s just great. Great for someone of middle grade age, and great for a reader who just loves Victoria Schwab.

Rating: 4 stars.

2. The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (The Kingkiller Chronicles #1)

This book is absolutely enormous, and reads like the longest prequel ever written, despite the fact it’s the first book in a series.

I listened to the audio version of the first book in the Kingkiller Chronicles, and I don’t even know how to blurb it. I liked it, but not enough for a 28-hour audiobook. I liked it, but not enough to listen to its 42-hour sequel. I want more from such a long book.

This book has insanely high ratings and is so raved about, so I gave it until about halfway through before I realised it probably wasn’t going to pick up. But, I’d already invested so many hours in it, I had to get that one extra for my Goodreads goal, which I now realise makes no sense considering it took me an entire month to get to the end of this, in which I can usually read four or five.

It didn’t feel like it followed a typical story structure, and it felt less like a series of plot lines weaved together than a domino effect, which feels to me very much like a prequel. It was well written, with interesting characters and an interesting world, but I expect more from a book so long.

Rating: 3 stars.

3. Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo (Nikolai Duology #2)

Oh. My. LORD.

This is the second book in the Nikolai Duology in Bardugo’s Grishaverse, and I can barely breathe (speaking of which, Shadow and Bone, out now, on Netflix). Book one, King of Scars, was enjoyable, but not especially exciting, especially as the successor to Crooked Kingdom, speaking of which: I was unaware there was going to be a fourth Six of Crows book. As I was reading this one’s denouement, it definitely felt like Bardugo was setting up at least one more book in this world, another heist, starring my beloved, Kaz Brekker. Nina Zenik, the Crows’ resident Heartrender (ish) has had a perspective throughout this series, but the other Crows (bar Matthias, for obvious reasons) were also in it, and I was trying to figure out the relevance, but I suppose it’s for the next Crows book.

ANYWAY. This was so much more exciting than book one, though there were certain things that felt irrelevant aside from as the set-up of the next book, but it was so entertaining, and I liked how it wrapped up--a note though: I don’t see how Nina could be involved in the next Crows book, but we’ll see.

I just barely even know what to say, except that King of Scars was relatively standard, but this blew it out of the water (not quite Six of Crows level, but I just love the grey morality of that duology).

Also: yay for trans rep.

Rating: 4.75 stars.

4. Scythe by Neal Shusterman (Arc of a Scythe #1)

I read this a couple years ago, got bored, and finished it as an audiobook. It was pretty standard, but then the last book in the trilogy, The Toll, came out, and I realised just how big this series is, so I wanted to give it another shot.

Scythe is set in a utopian future, in which death has been eliminated and immortality has been reached. The population still increases, but the AI that governs Earth can provide for it. However, people still have to die eventually. Citra and Rowan are taken on as apprentice scythes, the Reapers of the world, the only sources left of death. But one scythe has never had multiple apprentices before, so it is decided only one of them will be ordained, and when they are, they will have to glean the other.

I’m so glad i reread this. Initially, I felt very similarly to how I did the first time round: the characters were flat and unlikeable, and there was too much telling. However, this bothered me less over time, the characters became more interesting, more likeable, and oh my lord the ending. Rowan really reminds me of Julian Blackthorn, except i actually like Rowan. But not Julian. Screw Julian.

I would still argue this book is a little overrated, but this time, I’ll definitely be moving onto the sequel.

Rating: 3.9 stars.

5. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Oh, my Lord. This book is so hyped up, and I wasn’t expecting it to be nearly as good as it was. I didn’t particularly enjoy Monique’s part of the story, but I was so invested in Evelyn’s story, I listened to the whole thing in two days.

This is told in the form of a journalism interview, in which an unknown journalist is invited by Evelyn Hugo, aged Hollywood starlet, to write her biography, to be published upon her death. Evelyn tells the story of having to ignore her heritage and go through seven husbands just to be with the love of her life against the odds of the film industry, and you can’t even imagine how good this book is.

I so rarely cry at books--have never ugly-cried unless it brought up something in my real life--and I have never, ever cried at a standalone, yet here we are.

I don’t want to say anything else, because only an hour into the audiobook, I googled fan art and spoiled myself. So don’t do that, just read.

Rating: 4.9 stars.

6. Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare (The Last Hours #1)

My Lord. Honestly, I tried to pick up The Red Scrolls of Magic before this, and though I love Malec, I found I just didn’t care. Also, the font in my copy is different to in every other Shadowhunters book I own, which sucks.

As for Chain of Gold: this is book one in Clare’s fifth Shadowhunters series, set in 1903 and following the children of The Infernal Devices characters as demons begin to appear again in London after a period of silence.

This is absolutely the more hyped of the recent Shadowhunters books, and starting this, I really thought I was going to give up. It’s 590 pages and I’d already read thirteen books in this world (now fourteen), and it reads so much more like a period romance than it does a fantasy book. I didn’t think I’d care, but then I hit the 300 page mark, picked up motivation, and finished it in two days. I don’t think I enjoyed this as much as The Dark Artifices (though I can’t comment on The Infernal Devices, because I read the trilogy two years ago) but it was excellent.

It took me a while to learn who was who, who was related to who (it took me at least 400 pages to figure out whether Thomas or Christopher was the son of Gideon or Gabriel, though I somehow never forgot Anna was Gabriel’s daughter), and all I could think was that Shadowhunters must be incredibly inbred.

TID/TDA spoiler: I knew Tessa was with Will before Jem, but it was still weird seeing her with him, she and Jem having been together throughout TDA.

By page 100, I already wanted James and Cordelia to be together, but part of me was also shipping her with Matthew. Part of me still is, and his conversation with Lucie (I think) at the end my god. Ouch. 

The social norms in this seemed a lot more prevalent and old-fashioned than in TID, but that may just be because I don’t remember TID so well, or because there were just more people about in this one.

This book is 590 pages long, but the climax was done with by page 510. Falling action/denouement is my least favourite part of a book--I know they have to set up the sequel, but I hate it, because it barely feels like it’s building to anything. And eighty pages. 

I remember when Chain of Iron came out, everyone was complaining about Alastair, so I was really expecting him to be evil, but he wasn’t. At least not by the end of this.

I hate Grace so damn much, but this did manage to keep me interested in the world of Shadowhunters. This is probably the most beautiful Shadowhunters cover (sans maybe its sequel) but the spine looks weird on my bookshelf--it doesn’t match the TID or TMI ones, where they form an image, and it doesn’t match the TDA ones.

Rating: 4.4 stars.

7. The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

I read Circe a couple years ago, and enjoyed it, but I was just waiting for it to end. Circe was good, but The Song of Achilles was so much more human.

People talk about how sad this book is, and I see why, but it didn’t do it for me. Like I said for Evelyn Hugo, I don’t cry often at books, especially audiobooks, but Evelyn proved it was possible, and this is meant to be such a sad book.

That said, Achilles and Patroclus’s relationship was so cute, and so very, very gay, as you’d expect. 

Anyway, this is essentially a retelling of the life of Achilles, Ancient Greek demigod, told through the eyes of his mortal lover, Patroclus, throughout his training with Chiron, legendary centaur, and into the Trojan War.

I listened to this in a couple days, because it’s not that long, and, needless to say, I can’t wait for Miller’s next novel.

Rating: 4.5 stars.

8. Thunderhead by Neal Shusterman (Arc of a Scythe #2)

Oh. My. God. Scythe was good. It was incredibly well-written, but it was fairly standard enjoyment-wise. This one, on the other hand... I don’t have words. Mostly I’m still just reeling from the ending.

A couple comments: this book’s protagonist was very much Citra, where book one was more balanced between her and Rowan, and this is basically a sci-fi The Raven Boys. Maggie Stiefvater and Shusterman have very similar writing styles, and I love it.

I really don’t want to say too much--I was unsure where the series would go in this book, and it’s very clear where it’s going next, and I can’t wait to get to it. (Though I am reading the next Last Hours book first.)

Rating: 4.66 stars.

9. An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green (The Carls #1)

I feel like I open every summary with ‘oh my god’, but here’s the thing: I’ve been having such a good reading year, and I also just don’t finish books I don’t enjoy. I DNF them, I don’t rate them, and I leave them be.

I started following Hank Green on TikTok last year, then I started watching vlogbrothers on YouTube, and figured I ought to read their books, see what their writing’s like. I haven’t got to one of John’s books yet, but I did get to this. This and its sequel are Hank Green’s only original novels (though I’m sure there’ll be more) and I’m so, so glad I read this. (I’m also so glad I enjoyed it, because I would hate to watch today’s vlogbrothers video having hated this)

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing takes place as April May (yes, that’s her name. It’s weirdly adorable) and her friend come across an enormous statue in New York City, and, assuming it’s some art installation, they make a video about it. Then they find out their video blew up as sixty-four of these statues appeared in cities across Earth out of nowhere.

That’s it. That’s all you need to know. Go read it.

The audiobook was excellent, and I think it was a really great format for this story. The last chapter is from somebody else’s perspective, and we’re treated to the beautiful voice of Hank Green.

Rating: 4.8 stars.

10. Turtles All the Way Down by John Green

I think it’s becoming clear I get through a lot more audiobooks than I do physical ones, which is partly because I just have more time for them, and partly because the books I listen to are generally shorter than the ones I read. Also, I’ve been reading a bit of manga recently, which I don’t want to talk about until I finish the series (but I will. I may even write a whole post about it).

Turtles All the Way Down follows Aza Holmes as she and her best friend investigate the disappearance of a billionaire whose son she used to know, but the story isn’t about that. It’s about Aza’s anxiety, and it’s a really beautiful insight.

I’ve struggled with anxiety myself, but never to an extent like Aza, which I believe is based on John Green’s experiences. Books like this are so important for representation, so people suffering similarly don’t feel like they’re going crazy.

I’ve actually owned a tote bag for this book for a couple years--I got a free one from the bookstore when it came out, and I’m so glad I can now say I actually liked the book on my tote bag.

Rating: 4 stars.

And that wraps up this Recent Reads.

[aion-rsa]

INTERVIEW: McDuffie Award Winner Talks His Experimental Sci-Fi Comic

Since 2015, the The Dwayne McDuffie Award for Diversity has been awarded each year at Long Beach Comic Expo, celebrating the work of new comics which not only tell an interesting story with a diverse cast that represents voices who aren’t heard often enough in the industry — but which are changing the way people view comics as a whole.

Winning the award has become a signifier of work which is notable, fresh and contemporary, experimenting with comics as a form and bringing something new and thoroughly entertaining to comics fans. This year’s winner, Ezra Claytan Daniels’ “Upgrade Soul,” is certainly an example of that.

Originally released as a digital app in collaboration with Erik Loyer, the comic transitions the pages in a fashion unique for the digital format, and features a soundtrack from musician Alexis Gideon which flows through the pages as the reader moves through the story. It’s not just an incredibly well-told and smart piece of comics narrative, it’s one which explores what a comics narrative can be. Following Daniels’ win at this year’s ceremony, CBR spoke to the cartoonist about the project, how it came together and what it was like to win this year’s coveted trophy.

CBR: What’s your background as a writer and artist? How did you first get into making comics?

Ezra Claytan Daniels: I’ve been drawing comics since I was a little kid. I had a really terrible yet deadly serious comic strip about a troupe of circus performers fighting a manipulative alien in my high school paper. But my professional background is in graphic design and commercial illustration, with detours into forensic illustration and user interface design (I designed the UI for the mobile app, iAnnotate PDF). I started making autobio zines a few years after high school, largely as an excruciatingly juvenile attempt to meet women. Seriously, those old comics are the worst thing ever.

You’ve published several comics over the last decade or so, including “The Changers” and “A Circuit Closed”, but when did you first start work on “Upgrade Soul”? What made you want to tell this story?

I first started thinking about the ideas behind “Upgrade Soul” in my early 20s, before I did “The Changers.” I wanted to write a horror story, so I thought, “What’s the scariest thing I can imagine?” At the time, it was obsolescence. Being faced with someone who’s better at being me than I am. I was actually more into “Upgrade Soul” as a concept, but I knew I wasn’t a good enough writer yet to do something that ambitious. So I did “The Changers” first, sort of as a practice graphic novel. “The Changers” was ambitious, too, but it’s really low-key and straight-forward. It’s essentially an escape fantasy about myself and my roommate being super-beings from the future. I learned so much about making comics by self publishing that book, though, from publicity to working with distributors, to touring. I had a blast. After the dust settled, I sat down to really try to figure out Upgrade Soul. That was about 12 or 13 years ago. I’d been working on it off and on until I finally finished this past December.

Who are Hank and Molly, the two leads of the series? What kind of people are they, and where do we find them as the comic begins?

The two main characters, Hank and Molly, are based on my grandparents, Leon and Barb. They were like second parents to me growing up, and we were super close. I wanted the main characters to be people you don’t see in comics very often. I wanted to try to put myself in the shoes of people I knew very well, but who were very different from me. I wanted to make a book that didn’t feel familiar. Something I personally would’ve been really excited to see on a comic shelf as a reader. The story introduces Hank and Molly as wealthy investors in an experimental cellular rejuvenation procedure. Their only stipulation for support of the project is that they be the first to undergo the procedure.

The drama begins when a the procedure fails and Hank and Molly are faced with clones of themselves who are severely disfigured, but intellectually and physically far superior. The story is thematically about which counterpart better represents the identity of the individual; the one that looks and sounds like the person, or the one that’s, by every non-aesthetic metric, a perfect idealization of that person.

Your art style seems to primarily draw from both European and Japanese influences — is it fair to say those were the comics you grew up reading and loving?

I liked comics fine as a kid and teen, but I was way more into animation. And you called it, the films I loved the most were definitely Japanese and European. “Fantastic Planet,” “Akira,” “Lensman,” “Venus Wars,” “Fire & Ice” — these were on constant rotation.

I think there’s a very animation-y feel to my art — it’s very flat and clean, like animation cells. But after I dropped out of art school, I fell into trial graphics, doing medical and technical illustrations and infographics for court cases. That industry is all about clarity of information, with no room for embellishments. I definitely read “How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way” when I first started getting serious about comics, but I vehemently disagreed with a lot of it, particularly the part about using dynamic angles to heighten drama. I hated in comics when you couldn’t keep track of where characters were standing in a room because every panel was drawn from a different angle on the floor or ceiling. I think this aversion came from my time doing crime scene diagrams.

I never want my reader to be distracted from the narrative because I drew something weirdly. I sometimes describe my style as looking like an aircraft safety card.

You’ve released the story as an app in collaboration with Erik Loyer. Was it difficult to make that leap to digital, after first planning and developing “Upgrade Soul” in a more traditional format?

I’d been working on “Upgrade Soul” for a few years, pitching it around every once in a while but not really getting any traction. I’d done some work with Erik on smaller interactive comics projects, like his Reuben and Lullaby app, and an interactive essay he designed for academic Caren Kaplan, called “Precision Targets.” He started to develop an interactive comics platform for iOS and asked if I wanted to do something for it. I was deep into “Upgrade Soul” by then, and it hadn’t found a home, so I said “sure”!

I hadn’t done enough work on it by that point for it to be a huge hassle to imagine it for the digital platform, but it definitely still has roots in the print format. It was a seamless transition to the print version I’m shopping now. I’m definitely historically interested in technology and gaming, but I hadn’t given any real thought to digital comics before Erik approached me. Although, now that I think about it, I did put out the last issue of my crappy auto-bio comic a few years prior as a CD-ROM, so maybe I’m not giving myself enough credit! The “Upgrade Soul” app is on hiatus, though. It’s only the first half of the story.

Hopefully, after I find a publisher, we can work out a way to come back to it because I’m totally in love with it. It’s just not on the road map right now.

At what point did the audio aspect of “Upgrade Soul” first come into place? How did musician Alexis Gideon come on board the project, and what did that decision bring to the story overall?

Once Erik and I decided to work together, we just started having all these really heady conversations about the definition of comics and what to do and what not to do with the technology at our disposal. Our conversations eventually evolved into a manifesto that became the centerpiece of a digital comics portal I designed with Amsterdam-based Submarine Channel, ScreenDiver.com. A huge part of our digital comics philosophy was to never take temporal control from the reader. This meant that literal sound effects, which would have the effect of representing a passage of time, were out. But music, designed to create and maintain an atmosphere, was fair game.

In “Upgrade Soul,” the music follows your progress through the story, so every panel triggers a specific musical cue. You play the music almost the same way you read the comic, at your own pace. I’d done some design and animation work with Alexis, and we worked really well together. I’m just such a huge fan of his music; his singular brand of classically-trained experimental weirdo hip-hop was the perfect fit for “Upgrade Soul.”

When did you find out you’d been nominated for the Dwayne McDuffie Award?

I follow the Dwayne McDuffie Foundation on social media, and they posted a call for submissions a few weeks before I finished “Upgrade Soul.” The timing was perfect. I didn’t think I had any chance in hell of winning, but it’s just really helpful to have hard goals like that to finish something, especially since I was really losing steam toward the end. I guess it was a month or so later that I got an email from them letting me know I was among 5 finalists. I was incredibly honored, but even then, I didn’t think I had any chance of winning. I’ve never won anything in my life. And I was up against Dave Walker, who’d been having like the best year ever.

I didn’t find out I’d won until everybody else did, at the ceremony at Long Beach Comics Expo. It was so funny and awesome and weird. I happened to be the only nominee who was able to attend, since I live in LA, so they asked me to give a little talk before the winner was announced about what Dwayne McDuffie meant to me. I was so worried about how awkward it was going to be when I didn’t win! But little did I know that all the judges and Dwayne McDuffie folks already knew.

The ceremony was MC’d by Phil Lamarr, and it was such a surreal honor to get to hang out with the voice of Static Shock. Everybody involved in the foundation, and the judges, were so amazing and sweet and supportive. Charlotte, Dwayne’s widow, was just incredibly inspiring. It was most definitely the highlight of my career thus far.

Was Dwayne McDuffie a creator you were aware of, prior to your nomination?

My brother and I were constantly looking for heroes that looked like our dad, who was Black. We latched onto every Black character in the action movies we loved. The white neighborhood kids would fight to be Arnold when we played “Predator,” but we’d always be Bill Duke and Carl Weathers. We collected every black “G.I. Joe” and “Star Trek: The Next Generation” figure. But those characters were always sidekicks or bit players. So when the “Static Shock” cartoon came out, we were just transfixed. It was pure magic. I didn’t learn until years later how important Dwayne McDuffie was to so many other kids of color, and how monumental his legacy was.

It’s an award specifically noting works which offer representation within the pages — was that something you had at heart when you were making the comic, that idea of representing people whose stories don’t usually get told, and digging into their personalities and culture?

Absolutely. As a mixed race person (my mom is white), it’s an inextricable part of my being. “Upgrade Soul” gets into the ways in which our experience of life, or how we are treated by the world, forms our identity. It looks at the ways racial discrimination is both similar and distinct from age, sex and ability discrimination. These are the kinds of ideas that interest and challenge me as both a writer and a reader.

What’s next for you, following the conclusion of “Upgrade Soul” and as it now looks for a publisher? Do you have any other projects coming up?

Fingers crossed “Upgrade Soul” finds a good home, but it’ll come out this year one way or another. I also recently finished a short film collaboration with Adebukola Bodunrin that just started it’s festival life. It just screened at the International Film Festival Rotterdam and the Whitney in New York, and is screening at the Boston Underground Film Fest in March. It’s an experimental sci-fi animation that reimagines the Yoruba creation myth in a space station built around a simulation of the Big Bang. It’s called The Golden Chain.

I also have a new graphic novel on the home stretch with the incredible Ben Passmore, tentatively called “BTTMFDRS.” I’m writing it and he’s drawing it. It’s a horror comedy about gentrification and cultural appropriation and I’m so excited for people to see it! We should wrap that up by this summer so look for that this year, too!

To find out more about “Upgrade Soul” and Ezra Claytan Daniels’ work, check out his website and his Ttwitter account here.

The post INTERVIEW: McDuffie Award Winner Talks His Experimental Sci-Fi Comic appeared first on CBR.

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