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thee-achilles · 3 years

Note

Can you talk about how people

Who showed happiness were put down with harsh aspects to sun/Jupiter? I have the opposition

ofc, lovely! Jupiter aspects are my favorite :)

laugh out loud, guys. today i’m exposing your little secrets. 😻😻😻😻

she’s long, this one is. my stupid self doesn’t know how to put that “read more” on mobile, so if you know, hit a mamacita up. 😈👩‍🎤 if this read more don’t work, imma nerf or nothing my cojones.

DON’T STEAL MY STUFF!1!1!1!1!!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

🌂.|JUPITER-SUN/ASC ASPECTS AND THE BELITTLEMENT OF THEIR HAPPINESS|.🌂

SUN SQUARE JUPITER

since the square aspect is the most tense, i believe these individuals could have impeccable luck if jupiter is aspected welly otherwise. they may get out of sticky situations easily and get opportunities easily, but find it hard to see that. they could think that things were “too good to be true” or a test of some sort.

when they were younger, they may have set really high expectations for themselves, automatically making older people think that they might grow stuck up despite them just having a normal child experience.

when they get older and achieve the high expectations for themselves, people just go “well, now you’re just bragging” or “anybody could do that” causing this people to feel like their hard work just won’t pay off.

these people have AMAZING opportunities though! breaking down their fear or tr4uma of being belittled for their happiness is a huge journey for them in this life. they have to understand that people’s words of deprecation will not have a physical effect on anything they do.

people with this aspect may like to stay in the shadows or make sure their presence is known. kind of like “well, if that’s what they think of me, so be it. i’ll be that then.” which isn’t a good way to deal with it either.

SUN OPPOSITE JUPITER

alright, alright. the crowd may boo me for this one, but this aspect is ALL about the internal.

the crowd:

🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎🙎

anyways 🙄 if you don’t know, the sun rules out ego, meaning this aspect has a lot to do with the ego’s feeling.

these natives take a lot of nurturing in order to feel appreciated. if not developed properly, their entire happiness could be on other’s opinions of them.

in ways they were put down, they may have wanted to share something really close with them to someone and the other person was like “🤨 y’all hear smthg?” i feel like they were ignored a lot/felt ignored. a parent may have told them to get lost or to occupy themselves while they did their own thing literally, or as a child you may have took whatever they said like that. you may have felt like you had to control how you felt around certain people.

these experiences really stuck with your ego and when you want to do something new or cool, they always come back to play on repeat. (alexa play replay by zendaya-)

the goal in this lifetime is adapt 😈 and overcome 🐺‼️ YOU ARE NOT YOU INADEQUATE BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE MADE YOU FEEL THAT WAY 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 anygay, do not be afraid to let yourself explore and go into the unknown. that’s all jupiter is about: exploration and expansion. you wanna try something? try it! you wanna be something? be it! you are capable of anything.

remember, it’s your ego saying no. it’s your ego saying that you’re not enough. it’s only holding you back.

SUN CONJUNCT JUPITER*

alright. **cracks knuckles and clears throat**

to start off, how does THIS song make you feel? 😈🤲:

yeah. dig it, vibe it, REALLY feel it. okay.

this aspect is known for having a big personality. they’re outgoing, they’re adventurous, they’re just so effortlessly curious.

people may have put down these people by calling them “too much”. they’ve got a lot of questions, and hell, they’re gonna ask them. because of their curious nature, people may find them annoying or just straight dumb.

people may see you as arrogant or selfish. (OBVIOUSLY, this doesn’t mean you are. it’s just what THEY think. we don’t care about that.)

no, you are not dumb or selfish or arrogant. don’t ever feel bad for being so adventurous. i love you.

just remember that while people can belittle you for being so outgoing, they will never have your luck or knowledge. your goal in this life is to simply explore more and to also not waste resources!as you get older, you may find that you’ll mellow out more, but know that you were never too much in the first place. :)

SUN QUINCUNX JUPITER

y’all. are you guys okay? you guys need a hug?

you guys may have been bullied. you just feel like you were always put down in everything.

jupiter is all about expansion, however with this aspect, i feel like you guys just felt you weren’t good enough for anything. this could cause you to collect and hold onto things that could make you feel like you’re enough. you may have attachment/abandonment issues.

since this is in aspect with your ego, you could develop low self esteem or a mask to hide how inadequate you feel. you have to show that you are more than enough to hide the fact that you feel like you don’t feel like enough. (THAT’S APART OF WHAT THE MASK IS dr3am smp st4ns please do not interact with this part <3)

you may be unaware that this has gotten worse, or you may turn a blind eye to red flags. 😐🚩

your goal in this lifetime is to take things day by day and realize what things/people are weighing you down. care for yourself, self-affirm, clean yourself up, make yourself feel pretty, etc. it’s hard work to care for yourself when you feel this way, but know that despite the tension in these planets, if you start to care for yourself and genuinely feel like enough, jupiter will repay you in return. it may take time, but everything takes time. (in the words of tom hiddleston, delayed gratification. 😈)

it’s giving very much, como sé dice, this:

know you don’t have to please anyone other than yourself. don’t let people walk all over you. i know you think pleasing people will make them stop hating on you, but know that you have to please yourself too. know people are out there who will truly love you.

SUN SEMI-SQUARE JUPITER**

okay. big sigh or whatever. y’all were viewed as irresponsible and LAZY. dawg. i’m sorry.

people see you as inconsistent and unmoderated. they may think you indulge or procrastinate too much. but that doesn’t make you that just because they think so.

in contrast to jupiter square sun, no one thinks you brag when you talk about things that make/made you happy. instead, they think your happiness isn’t deserved. **crowd boos**

yeah. anyway, people may not notice your hard work or other people take credit for it. this probably happened a lot during group projects/group study sessions.

you’re so smart, though! and you carry those people who see you as incapable. not even a thank you?? man. 💔

people may have put you and/or your ideas down so much that you may find yourself dumb. you’re not. remember that.

you have endless opportunities coming towards you. and though you may not think it right now, your persistence will prevail. people have their own ways to succeed and you’re one of them. you’re a fighter wether you see it or not.

ASC SQUARE JUPITER

note: alright. the sun is all about ego/how we feel about ourselves/how others feel about us or what they see consciously, and the ascendant is more so.. what we actually are, if that makes sense. like in my previous ones, i talked about viewing, this one is the actuality of the person. it’ll be more clear later. :)

ascendant square jupiter. you guys, like the sun square jupiter, are all about growth. now this is more personal imo. you may have grown up in what people call a “humble” household. EXCEPT IT’S TOO HUMBLE, SNITCH. y’all were TAUGHT not to be happy for yourself 😐. it’s not your fault though. i think you’re a very lucky person naturally, and so maybe people felt the need to humble you a “little bit”. i feel like you’re very proud in whatever you put effort into that receiving the wrong response can make you feel bad. like it wasn’t worth it.

you were taught to give and to never receive. you need to learn to TREAT YOURSELF. MATERIAL GWOOOORRRRLLLL‼️‼️ you’re so selfless, even when you don’t want to be. it’s giving “no good deed goes unpunished, no act of charity goes unresented” it’s like you’re so giving that it almost does nothing for you now. okay miss elphaba. you’ve been good and you’ve done good, now it’s time to do something for you.

your lesson in life is LEARN HOW TO SAY NO 🤬🤬 this doesn’t mean you have to stop being giving and being kind, you just need BOUNDARIES, my love. boundaries are virginia slay. ✊😩 you’ve got so much opportunity to grow into the greatness you are, you just have to take the action to get there.

don’t be afraid to express yourself. when you’re sure of yourself, others will be hesitant to get in your way. remember caring for yourself is just as important as caring for others. <333

ASC OPPOSITE JUPITER

imma say it now, y’all. YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST CRITIC. don’t you dare close the app and get up. get yourself back here. this is a callout, i didn’t come here to be kind. 👩🏻‍🦲 but i mean it. you guys are so TALENTED it’s literally insane. it’s the kind of talent you keep quiet about while everyone else talks about it. but you always think it isn’t the best; that it isn’t enough.

you guys work your whole culos off and you still are like “no 😐 i don’t like it 😐 redo it 😐” and it’s literally the best thing known to man?? on the bright side, you can handle and search for constructive criticism. you understand it ain’t personal when they say it and it’s for your better improvement of your talent, but your mind is just?? your worst critic??

BUT ANYWAYS people may have put down your happiness by restricting your talents. you know you’re better than what they give you, yet they keep giving you easy shit. it’s so easy at times you think, “is this really all i’m meant for? is this how they see me?”you’re constantly put in situations where you’re under-minded and it can really get to you sometimes. i think it’s because they just handle your girlbossness. 🙄‼️

but fear not, there is a great big world out there. like that one song from wall-e says, “put on your sunday clothes, there’s lots of world out there!” (it’s originally from holly, dolly!, but we won’t talk about that.) there’s a world of endless opportunities and i promise you that there are people out there who believe in you.

however, your goal in life is to believe in yourself. stop being overly critical of yourself. everything you do isn’t horrible. you’re insanely talented and everyone can see it. know that there are people out there who believe you can do it. know you can, too, because the power of self-belief goes a long way.

ASC CONJUNCT JUPITER

omg! twinnem! go best friend 😻 i have this aspect too, lmao. if you have this aspect, you’re certified sexy no mames ✊🙄 anygay, this aspect seems perfect, right? we get so much freedom, we’re friendly, full of life, and kind-hearted. HOWEVER, every placement has its own room to grow, and this one is definitely one of them.

since you’re so used to having freedom, once you’re restrained it’s kinda like 😐😑😐. you gotta understand that restraint is a natural part of life and that it’s going to happen from time to time. people have boundaries and sometimes circumstances will just give you a no. you may like to control things and this may be a coping mechanism for you, especially if your jupiter or moon is in a fixed sign.

your lesson in life is to learn how to accept “no” and criticism and not take it personally. it’s okay that other people have differing opinions. right and wrong are personal concepts sometimes. you’re insanely lucky and can get out of sticky situations with your charm, but when prosecution comes, taken it in stride. remember, jupiter likes justice, just like saturn, and rewards you when you respect that justice as well as the freedom of things outside of your own person.

also TW: body image. skip over to the next section if you’re uncomfy! as happy as you may be, you could struggle with how you look if jupiter is aspected harshly in other areas. i’ve seen many people with this aspect become self critical of how they look over time, but have this perfect “happy-go-lucky” attitude. for people with this aspect, what they eat could really effect their mood for the day. remember to take care of yourself and eat things that make your body & mind happy. :))

ASC QUINCUNX JUPITER

i said this with a lot of other of these aspects, however :(( imma need to give y’all the biggest hug. you guys are such creative and amazing souls, but whenever you want to express yourself the way you want, it just goes south. i feel like especially by authority figures. you may also struggle with school, but do your best to learn. you’re always under-minded, too. so when you say things that are considered smart, people are like “😲 how did you know that? 😲” BECAUSE YOU’RE SMART, BRO. always have been, always will be.

quincunx reminds me of two rocks rubbing against each other. it just doesn’t work and it isn’t harmonious. however, like all rough aspects to jupiter (and all planets in general), there is so much room to grow here. you may not think so, but you can ditch those people who put you down for who are and want to be. your lesson in this life is to grow in your own way. you don’t have to follow the path of others. you can be as unique as you want to be.

you know those fashionistas on the clock app that be slamming a whole bunch of clothes together? they do it because it makes them happy; because they can express themselves. channel that energy. it’s good for you.

you are not what anybody thinks you are. you only are what YOU think you are. and watch, you could get rich or famous off of your originality and out-of-the-box thinking. when you do, hit my line 😈 a mamacita could use a dollar or two 🙄‼️

ASC SEMI-SQUARE JUPITER**

like sun semi-square jupiter, your achievements aren’t recognized. you guys avoid things you don’t want to deal with, but it isn’t really a good solution to your problems. you may have struggled in school also and weren’t acknowledged for your achievements.

there were plenty of times where you tried to be recognized, but it never turned out well?? like when you try to be credited or take more than what you’re given, people were always like 🤨. you’re tired of people not seeing you for what you really are. so after trying for so long, you just feel like not trying anymore now if you’re not getting recognized or don’t feel like your good enough. after so much time trying, you give up more easily than you used to.

your lesson in this life is to understand that you’re good enough. you can do whatever you want to do! you are capable of everything you set your mind too. you saying you can’t is just a mental barrier. remember that you can take more than what you or other people say you can.

*this is a big jupiter giant note to let you guys know that i do not find conjunctions an entirely harsh aspect, but i do believe it’s harsher than trines/sextiles and easier than squares/oppositions. i think it’s just powerful in both aspects. :)

**if you have the sequiquadrate aspect, read the semi-square. from my understanding, they’re quite similar.

i’m super nervous about posting this. i put each and every ounce of sleep i’ve ever slept in my entire conscious life into this, so i hope you guys enjoyed! :) have a good one ☝️💂‍♀️

sources that helped out when i was a little lost!:

https://astrologyking.com/sun-conjunct-jupiter/

https://cafeastrology.com/natal/sunsemisquarejupiter.html

https://advanced-astrology.com/minor-aspects/

©thee-achilles 2022

#astrology #astro tumblr #astro observations #astro community #astro notes #astrology asteroids #thee-achilles #jupiter conjunct ascendant #jupiter aspects #jupiter

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gubler-me-up · 4 years

Text

Lost in Translation

Request(s): Hey :) Can i make a Spencer request? Something like that episode in Mexico, with a bilingual reader please <3 Like a trip and he realizes that the reader can speak Spanish, he's kinda mesmerized and she helps the team to get more information about the unsub

hey beautiful :) could u write something (literally anything) where the reader speaks another language or like they have an australian accent or smthg and they have to like translate for the team and spencer just thinks it’s the hottest thing in the world and then the reader gets real worked up and starts yelling in the other language and spencer is just like skdkdmend,,,,u don’t have to if u don’t wanna but like i love u sm ur amazing

A/N: Thanks for the first request @cryingforwill and shout out to the anon who sent the second request! Can y’all believe this is my last fic of 2020? Being posted early? New year, new me (maybe)! Thank you to everyone who has been reading and supporting my work for the last four months of 2020 you literally ROCK 🗣 btw I am by no means bilingual (maybe a lil French but that’s it) so all the Spanish being spoken in this fic is straight from Google Translate so pls forgive me if it doesn’t translate properly and if you’re like me and don’t know Spanish pls have Google Translate on deck while reading

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader

Category: Fluff

Content warning: Swearing, semi-nudity, mentions of violence

Word count: 2k

————-

It was rare that the team travelled abroad for a case but when an unsub was on the run to Mexico they had no choice to follow their tracks. The team landed in Mexico within a day of finding out the unsub had fled. They didn’t waste time scoping out places the unsub could possibly be according to eyewitness reports.

Unfortunately for Spencer he got stuck with surveilling at the beach with Morgan in the hot sun. They made sure to dress for the part by wearing swim trunks and sunglasses. Well, that’s what Morgan was wearing. Spencer opted to wear a white t-shirt, brown khaki pants and a pair of black converse.

Morgan had begged him to change into something else so he wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb. Spencer insisted that if he just stayed on the outskirts of the beach he would look like a tourist sightseeing. The explanation earned him an eye roll and look of disappointment from Morgan.

No matter the amount of disappointment Morgan felt, the surveillance plan went as planned. Morgan went on the beach to blend in with locals and tourists so he could ask people if they had seen the unsub as well as scoping the area for him. Spencer stayed just at the border of the beach surveilling the area. Whenever someone would pass by he would ask them if they had seen the unsub.

From a handful of people ignoring him to them just giving him a weird look, he felt as if he actually did look a bit weird in his attire. He sighed and decided it might be best if he did some surveillance from the car with his pair of binoculars. Before he could turn around to leave, a volleyball hit his feet.

He looked down and picked it up. He had no idea why he picked it up considering he didn’t know who to give it to. Even if he did he wouldn’t embarrass himself trying to hit it back to the person it belonged to. Volleyball was apart of his long list of sports he wasn’t good at.

“Hey, sorry, that’s mine.”

He looked in the direction of where the voice was yelling. He raised his eyebrows in surprise as he saw a gorgeous woman running towards him. He tried to be respectful and not stare for too long considering she was wearing a bikini. He didn’t want her to think he was a creep or even worse, the unsub.

She smiled as she made her way right in front of him. She held out her hands for him to give her back the ball. He looked down at her hands and then at his. He silently went “oh” as he realized he still had the ball in his hand.

“Sorry,” he said as he handed her the ball.

She looked him up and down with a questionable look. She looked back at his face. Spencer for sure thought she was going to treat him like the rest and pretend he just wasn’t there. To his surprise she smiled at him.

“¿Eres de eta zona?” She asked.

He shook his head. “No, no lo soy.”

She giggled. “Por la forma en que mataste tu sentencia, puedo decir que eres de los Estados Unidos.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Supongo que eras de la zona.”

She nodded her head. She reached into her bikini top. He watched carefully to see what she was about to pull out. He then realized there’s no way she could be hiding a weapon in her bikini top so he strayed his eyes away from her breast.

She saw how flustered he had become and laughed at how his pale face turned red. She pulled out her I.D. card to show him who she was. He looked at her surprised when he read her identification.

“My name’s Y/N Y/L/N. I’m originally from America myself but I opted to work for the Policía Federal after serving my time as a special agent at the FBI California headquarters. I’m here to be of assistance to you and your team, agent,” she said.

“How did you know I was-”

“My team was informed by your unit chief, Aaron Hotchner, that an unsub had crossed over to our borders, so we know everyone on your team. Also, no one dresses like that unless they’re undercover.”

Spencer looked down at his attire. He guessed Morgan had a valid point of him sticking out. She laughed and grabbed his hand to escort him onto the beach. He hesitantly held back.

“I hate sand in my shoes,” he complained.

“Well, you should have worn sandals. Aren’t you the genius of the group? Dr. Spencer Reid? How come you didn’t think of that?” She questioned as she yanked him onto the beach.

Spencer trailed behind her unwillingly. He could already feel the sand seeping into his shoes already. He would have been more upset but he was entering the beach for some reason Y/N hadn’t explained to him yet. Since she was on their side, there wasn’t a direct reason not to trust her.

“I wasn’t going to go onto the beach. My partner, Derek Morgan, is surveilling the beach,” he explained.

“The beach is the best part to surveil though. Seems to me you got the short end of the stick,” she said.

“It’s the stick I chose and I’m fine with it,” he said.

She giggled. “Tonto, tonto chico.”

“Uh, gracias?”

She led him over to an area where there was a blue beach towel set up with a cloth bag on it. She let his hand go and kneeled on the towel. He looked at her strangely as he watched her ruffling through her bag. She pulled out a bottle of sunscreen.

“Can you apply sunscreen to my back please?” She asked.

“I-I don’t know if-”

“Do you want to blend in or not, khaki pants?”

He looked down at his pants before looking back at her. She reached the bottle out to him and he didn’t feel as if he had a better option so he took it from her. She smiled as she scooted down to make some room for him to kneel behind her.

He went behind her and kneeled. He opened it up and squeezed a good amount on his hands. He rubbed his hands together before he started applying it to her lower back. He had to admit her skin was the softest thing he had ever touched.

“Crees que puedes seguirme si hablo español durante esta conversación?” She asked

“Intentaré,” he said.

“Excelente. Tengo un hueso personal que elegir con su sospechoso,” she said.

“Que hizo…Wait, what are you doing?” He asked.

Y/N reached one hand to the back of her bikini top and untied it. She held the front of it with her free hand so her breasts wouldn’t spill out, flustering Spencer anymore than he already was. She looked back at him with a smile as she saw him turn red again.

“You need to get the whole of my back,” she said.

“Uh…I guess?” He said.

“You sound unsure. Wait until you have to do the front,” she said.

“I what?” He choked.

“I’m kidding. We’ll save that possibility for another time,” she said with a wink before turning her head.

Spencer’s mouth was gaped open but he couldn’t find the words to say back to her. He honestly didn’t know what would be the appropriate way to respond to her. If Morgan was there he probably would have been even more disappointed by the way he was acting around Y/N.

“Your unsub, Eric Brown, almost killed my partner,” she said.

“I heard,” Spencer softly said.

“Ese hijo de puta nos sorprendió. Le disparó a mi compañero en el cuello y si no estuviera allí para evitar que se desangrara, habría estado muerto,” she said, gradually becoming louder in her tone.

“Lamento que tu y tu pareja hayan sido víctimas de él,” he said.

“¿Ser víctima de él? Si vuelvo a ver a ese hijo de puta voy a hacer que me caiga víctima,” she yelled.

He let her have her little moment because he knew how upsetting being in that type of situation could be. Even though he was upset for her, he couldn’t help think her yelling was tantalizing. It didn’t help he was enjoying rubbing her back with sunscreen and feeling her soft skin over and over again.

“Estamos aquí para ayudar en todo lo que podamos. Queremos hacer justicia a su pareja y a las otras víctimas de Brown,” Spencer said.

She turned around to look at him with a smile. He smiled back at her as he took his hands off of her. She looked down at the string that dangled at her side and then looked back at him. He didn’t need her to say anything and grabbed both strings on both sides of her to tie it around her back.

“Eres muy dulce, Spencer. Le devolveré el favor diciéndole esto: escuché de un informante hoy que Brown intentará esconderse en un carro de cargamento de drogas que se dirige a Cuba,” she said.

“Really?” He asked in shock.

“Sí. The shipment leaves in six hours, but the dock isn’t too far from here. If my hunch is right, he isn’t staying too far from the dock,” she said.

“Reid.”

They both looked up to see Morgan walking their way. Spencer immediately got up and dusted the sand off his pants. Y/N also got up and picked up all of her belongings off of the ground.

“Morgan, I-uh…I know what this might seem like but I was-um.”

“Hi, my name’s Y/N Y/L/N. I’m with the Policía Federal. I was informing agent Reid about Brown’s possible whereabouts,” she said.

“Yeah, apparently, he’s going to get on a drug shipment to Cuba in six hours,” Spencer whispered.

“He’s most likely hiding out somewhere north of Cancun,” she said.

“Great. Thanks for the information. Are your units scouting the area out?” Morgan asked.

She nodded. “Yes, but we’re not trying to penetrate the area directly. We have no idea what kind of people Brown has paired up with and he’s already attacked one of our own before, so we’re treading lightly.”

“Fair. I guess we’ll meet in six hours to catch him,” Morgan said as he reached out his hand.

Y/N grabbed it and shook it. “We definitely will, agent.”

As she let go of his hand, she looked over at Spencer. She smiled and reached out her hand. She noticed his hesitation to grab it, so she did him the favour and latched into his hand. She pulled him in and gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

“Gracias por aplicarme protector solar en la espalda. Tal vez después de atrapar a este hijo de puta, podamos ser más íntimos,” she said into his ear.

She pulled away from him and saw that confused yet intrigued look on his face again. She laughed before waving them both goodbye. They both watched as she walked off from their sight into the overcrowded beach.

Morgan flopped his arm around Spencer’s shoulders. Spencer looked at Morgan to see a grin spanning from ear to ear. He sighed as he already knew what Morgan was going to say.

“So you spent the time you were supposed to be surveilling rubbing on a hottie’s back?” Morgan asked

“How about we don’t talk about it?” Spencer said as he shrugged off Morgan’s arm and started to walk away.

“You can’t keep your secret move from me,” Morgan said as he walked behind him.

“What secret move?” Spencer asked.

“The “standing there out of place but yet attract all the ladies to me” move,” Morgan said.

Spencer smirked. “I would teach you if I knew why it happened.”

Morgan chuckled. “You know what, I think I’m more content with you finally not knowing an answer for something than I am with you getting a potential date.”

—–

MASTERLIST

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @bluerose512 @laneybobeczko-g @averyhotchner @littlewierdalien @cynbx @mggsprettygirl @jessalyn-jpeg

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lloydskywalkers · 4 years

Note

let me just start out by saying i love ever single one of your stories!!! i’m pretty new to the show and your works just add so much more feeling to everything and it’s sooo good!!! i don’t know if you ever do requests or not, so don’t bother with this if you’re busy!! but if you ever get a chance could you write smthg abt Jay and Kai? their friendship is so underrated but so good and i live for the moments in the show when Kai’s big brother instinct(tm) kicks in for him as well as Nya and Lloyd

aH thank you so much!! i’m so glad to hear that :D and this isn’t...exactly what you asked for, but Kai and Jay have this fun of dynamic that reminds me a lot of me and my brother, and i’ve been tossing around little bits of interaction between them for a while now, so i tried to make something coherent out of those :’D

Jay likes to think he’s pretty good at the whole compartmentalizing thing, for the most part. Mainly because he actually knows what it means, and it is not, for instance, locking your team up in a literal compartment while rushing off to fight the other compartment that is your resurrected homicidal father into submission.

“That was one time,” Lloyd will grumble, as if he’s only almost-died once. And then Jay will flinch, because that’s where his compartments come into play.

(Nadakhan gets one, Unagami gets another, the whole fun-times adoption reveal another, and everything else can get stuffed into the metaphorical attic since they won’t pay rent.)

Unfortunately, the attic is where the bad stuff lives.

Metaphorically.

If Jay had a nickel for every time he almost lost all of his friends, he’d have two nickels, plus another nickel for Cole falling into the fog, and another for Lloyd getting crushed by a roof, and another for Zane blowing up, and another for Nya in that awful dress with paling skin as her breathing stutters and the light in her eyes draining and —

And Jay is way, way too familiar with how it looks when his family dies, and all the nickels in the world won’t help that.

So while Jay likes to think he’s pretty good at compartmentalizing, he also thinks he’s got a valid excuse for the way he reacts when Lloyd goes down in the fight that afternoon. Sure, some vague part of his mind remembers that they’ve got a plan they’re running, and Lloyd should easily be able to handle a tiny little stumble — but Jay’s mind is stuck in glaring oranges and health bars, the unsteady gasping noise Lloyd had made before he went down, dissolving into digitized cubes just like everyone else, and Jay—

Jay can’t handle that, compartments or not, so he clears the space between them in a heartbeat just in time to take the bullet that comes hurtling Lloyd’s way.

It’d probably be a very noble and touching scene, if one) Jay didn’t make a hideous squeaking noise when it hit because bullets hurt, and two) the bullet would have missed Lloyd by a good two feet anyways.

Ah well, he thinks, as everything devolves into panicked yelling. It’s the thought that counts.

Except thoughts do not count when Kai is involved, apparently. Or any of the rest of the team, for that matter.

“What is wrong with you?” Kai hisses right in his face, eyes wild and sparking. “I was covering Lloyd, what were you doing?”

“Filling in for you, obviously,” Jay retorts. He has an excellent followup to that, real snappy and all, except that’s the moment Kai’s hand clamps down on the bullet wound in his arm to stop the bleeding, and Jay ends up stifling a shriek instead.

Great, he thinks, fighting back stinging tears of pain as he tries not to take Kai’s apparent wrath too personally. At least Cole looks worried, along the the rest of the team, who are dutifully concerned for his wellbeing like proper teammates should be.

“He’s going to need the hospital,” Zane informs them, his voice a lot steadier and calmer than his words make Jay feel. Zane’s eyebrows furrow as he studies his arm. “Stitches, probably.”

Jay swallows, trying not to curse. There’s a sharp scream as Nya finishes taking out another attacker just beyond them, and Jay figures that’s good enough.

“Okay,” Lloyd says, squeezing Jay’s wrist briefly. Either in comfort about the stitches or thanks for trying to cover him, Jay’s not sure. It’s a nice gesture, nonetheless. “Kai, Cole, can you get him there while we finish up? Sooner the better.”

Cole gives a sharp nod, and offers to take Jay from where Kai’s got him in a death grip. Kai shakes his head, and Jay’s stomach sinks. Sure enough, as soon as they’re clear of the scene, Kai starts going off.

“What did you mean, ‘filling in for me’,” he grinds through his teeth, clearly not about to let this go.

Jay bristles in response at his tone. “I meant,” he bites out, through a hot flare of pain in his arm. Kai’s always merciless with the bandages, even when he’s not in a mood. “That you weren’t there. So I covered.”

He should leave it at that, but Jay’s in a foul enough mood to finish with a condescending, “You’re welcome.”

Kai’s expression grows thunderous. “You didn’t need to. I was right there, you shouldn’t have — you weren’t needed, you should’ve held back.”

Jay feels his chest go tight. His head is clouding with anger, and the pain in his arm isn’t helping, but — ‘you weren’t needed’? Kai really didn’t skimp on the jerk juice this morning, did he.

“Oh, like you could’ve done so much better,” Jay glares. “Lloyd would’ve been toast by the time you got to him.”

“I could’ve made it!”

“Yeah right—”

“I would have, and I wouldn’t have gotten hit!” Kai snarls back. Something in Jay snaps. Or maybe it’s just the steadily increasing blood loss, but of all the nerve—

“Well you didn’t, ‘cause you weren’t there!” he snaps back. “You were too slow, which is real funny since your brain is too!”

It’s not his best comeback, he’ll admit, but Kai looks as if he’s about to light him on fire, if he weren’t stuck carrying Jay like the cover of some awful romance novel, blood getting all over his uniform as they both scream at each other. Maybe Jay will get lucky, and Kai will combust, and they’ll both go up in flames before they can remember that Cole is right there watching them.

“Cut it out, now!”

Oops, too late. For all the incensed authority in Cole’s voice, there’s still a traitorous falter that lets them both know they’ve screwed up. They fall silent, the atmosphere heavy with the lingering tension and new sense of guilt.

And the disgusting sound of Jay’s blood leaking through the makeshift bandage and hitting the ground, truly revolting, he hates blood.

“Just…no more. Please, shut up until we’re at the hospital.” Cole marches forward, snatches Jay from Kai’s arms, and proceeds to beat the fastest route to the hospital at a militant pace.

Jay still looks like some helpless romance cover heroine, dangling from Cole’s arms like he is. It occurs to him that he doesn’t even need to be carried — it’s his arm that’s hurt, he can still walk—

But any protests die rapidly at the look on Cole’s face. And at least this way, Jay thinks sullenly, he can fixedly ignore Kai.

Then again, Kai’s got a killer glare, and Jay’s always been garbage at ignoring people when his feelings are hurt.

* * * * * * * *

Despite the fuss everyone makes, Jay’s arm really isn’t that bad. They hook him up with some pretty sweet meds so he remembers zero of the actual arm-fixing, and he wakes up just in time to complain about being held in the hospital for ‘observation’ or whatever.

“It’s to make sure there’s no infection, or that you don’t rip your stitches out,” Nya tells him pointedly. Jay cringes under the look she gives him at that last part. Geez. You get kicked in the stitches one time after sneaking out early and suddenly no one’s got any faith in you. Typical.

“Why couldn’t we have just gone to medbay,” Jay grumbles. “Pixal gives way better stitches than this, anyways.”

“Gun wounds get hospitals,” Nya reminds him. “And it’s not fair to put that kind of pressure on Pix when we can avoid it.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

Nya glares at him. “It most certainly was that bad.”

“Oh, so when you get your arm crushed by a car, it’s fine,” Jay glares back. “But when I get a tiny little bullet nick, it’s that bad.”

Nya rolls her eyes, ignoring him. “Just think of it this way,” she says. “Now you have a little more time before Lloyd starts weeping apologies all over you.”

“Aw, no,” Jay groans, leaning back in the hospital bed. “Tell me he’s not blaming himself, Nya.”

“I think we had a promise about not lying to each other, or something,” Nya says, sympathetically. She winces. “Pretty sure he made the connection, too.”

Jay frowns. “What connection?”

Nya shifts, her eyes darting from side to side. “The, uh, the whole…Prime Empire, thing.”

Jay stares at her for a beat, trying to reconcile his blatant shock with the roiling nausea at the mention in his stomach. Nya looking at him all kind and sympathetically isn’t helping, either, because she might have made it down to the final two, but she was never all alone, and the reminder that she’d have been fine if Jay hadn’t gotten her killed twice is—

Bad. Real bad, not good, zero out of ten stars. Maybe he can take a bullet for Nya, next, and that’ll — that’ll help things, maybe. Equivalent exchange? Restitution? Some kind of fancy word that means Jay swears he’s gonna make it up.

In the meantime, he smothers the rising sickness in his throat and sinks lower into the bed, sulking. “It’s too easy to recognize trauma in this team.”

“I hear you,” Nya sighs, wearily. She nudges his shoulder, rising from her seat near the bed. “Speaking of. Someone’s got something they want to say to you.”

It takes Jay a second, but his eyes widen as Nya heads for the door. “Wait, wait wait wait, don’t you dare—”

“Love you,” Nya says cheekily, before taking her merry leave of the room. There’s a brief scuffle from outside, and the sound of Kai yelping, before Nya shoves him through the door, slamming it shut behind him with a damning click.

For a second, Jay’s tempted to hit the ‘call nurse’ button as hard as he can, in some desperate attempt to escape. Then he gets a good look at Kai, who’s turned a pale, queasy color that frankly looks awful on him, which is saying a lot ‘cause there isn’t much that doesn’t look good on Kai, but the expression he has on now—

Aw, man, now Jay’s feeling guilty and it isn’t even his fault. Stupid moral conscience center, he curses himself.

“So, uh…” he begins, because far be it from him to let this kind of awkward silence stretch on any longer. “Nice, ah, weather we’re having?”

Kai doesn’t respond, staring fixedly at the floor, and Jay sizes up the ‘call nurse’ button again. Just for the both of their sakes, of course.

But then Kai takes a deep breath, blows it out, and rocks back on his heels, fiddling with his hands. “I, um. I’m sorry.”

Jay’s jaw drops open. Which is probably an overdramatic move, all things considered, but unless he’s suddenly lost the ability to understand words, Kai just apologized to him.

Kai apologized. To him.

It’s not that Kai apologizing is some great big deal — Kai might have his pride, but he’s also an intuitive and good-hearted person who knows when he’s messed up. But to him?

Jay knows how he and Kai work. Kai knows how he and Jay work, and he’s breaking the rules. Because Kai and Jay don’t apologize to each other. Unless it’s some awkward expression of sympathy, they’ve never needed to. They fight dirty, aim for each other’s kneecaps, swear eternal vengeance and hatred at each other before storming off, then an hour later Jay’s bounding into Kai’s room to show him dumb meme videos and neither of them even remember what they were fighting about.

Acknowledging said fight with something as gushy as apologizing is not only useless since they both forget what they’re apologizing for anyways, but also useless because it’ll take too much time, and counterproductive on top, because it’ll most likely end in another fight about who apologized better. So for Kai to walk in and say sorry—

“Oh no, who did you kill?” Jay says, paling.

Kai spears him with a look, but it’s so pathetically watered-down and miserable that Jay forgets to glare back.

“Sorry, sorry,” Jay mutters. “I just—”

“No, no, I’m the one who’s sorry,” Kai interrupts. He hesitates, then sighs. “But that’s fair. I — I was unfair. To you, back there. Like, really unfair, in a bad way, ‘cause you were shot and I know you meant well, but you—”

Kai gestures wildly with his hands, his stream of words cutting off. Jay is left to stare open-mouthed at him again. Babbling like this is Jay’s thing. Kai is breaking all the rules today, huh.

“I just…” Kai trails off, ducking his head. “I don’t like watching you guys get hurt. I don’t — I don’t like watching you get hurt. And I get scared, but it comes out angry, and then I make a mess of things so I’m — sorry. Really sorry, for biting your head off.”

He exhales, a little shaky, fingers balled up in tight fists as his head hangs low, refusing to meet Jay’s eyes. Something softens in Jay’s chest, like gooey melting butter or something else equally pathetic. But it’s rare that Kai vocalizes this stuff, despite the fact that Jay knows he cares, and it’s nice to hear it, so he figures he’s entitled to all the butter he wants.

Jay’s own gaze falters, and the something starts to twist. He bites his lip, tugging half-heartedly at the bandages around his arm.

“Well,” he pauses, thinking of the way his brain had shifted to autopilot when he’d watched Lloyd falter, the razor-sharp shard of terror that always splinters through him when any of their teammates come too close to the awful images of death left in his head. He swallows. “I guess I don’t really have any room to talk,” he murmurs. “Be pretty dumb if I blamed you for that.”

He’s preparing to sink back into his own well of self-pity and loathing, resigned to spending the next few hours until they check him out of the hospital replaying bad memories in his head, when Kai’s next to him all of the sudden, shoving him over on the hospital bed.

“Hey, hey, what’s the big idea—”

“Move, c’mon. You don’t need that much room, you’re a stick,” Kai grumbles, before grinning brightly in success as Jay makes him space. The contrast in expression is enough to startle Jay into silence, and Kai takes advantage. “I know that look. But you already got shot, so you gotta cheer up now.”

“So you’re forcing me into cheerfulness by stealing my hospital bed,” Jay scowls, but the sting is lost in the sudden surge of affection as Kai elbows his way on the bed with him, a steady warmth by his side.

“I’m gifting you my presence, you should be celebrating,” Kai huffs, as he pulls his phone out. “Now stop looking so sad and watch this video I got of a bunch’a geese chasing Zane at the park the other day.”

“You’re such a jerk,” Jay says, but he’s already snickering as he leans his head against Kai’s shoulder to get a better look.

He’s forgotten to tell Kai he forgives him, but like most things between them — Jay doesn’t really need to say it out loud.

#answered #ninjago #my fic #kai smith #jay walker #tumblr pls format right for once #Anonymous

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writingpuddle · 4 years

Text

The other night best friend and I (yes, that best friend) were riffing on trans Neil headcanons over the phone, but a realistic trans treatment of aftg gets dark real fast, so without further ado:

~The Mafia May Be Sexist (But It’s Not Transphobic!) AU ~

(tmmbsbintau, if you will)

Does this premise make sense? No, but if Nora can write about made up mafia sports, I can write a nonsense AU where transphobia doesn’t exist okay this is my party and ill be self-indulgent if i want to

We open with baby Neil, who was named after his maternal grandmother or smthg idk

Now lets say Neil is one of those “I always knew I was trans” kids

So even at a fairly young age he was like, nope this is wrong

For the most part his dad basically ignores him (what use is a girl to me???) but if he makes the mistake of getting in the way it’s the usual shit with knives and hot irons and basically Neil’s bog-standard Traumatic Childhood

His mom signs him up to play Exy to get him out of the house, and he loves it, because of course he does

Now tiny Neil may be terrified of his father

But remember transphobia isn’t real

So he when he’s about ten years old he tells his parents over dinner

His mom just puts her fork down and says that’s alright

But Nathan

Nathan

Nathan’s eyes start to glow

He has a son? Not a useless daughter?

He’s practically levitating with glee

And Neil, poor Neil, who has never had any positive reinforcement—from either parent, Mary, you’re not innocent in this—he soaks it up

Nathan puts both hands on his son’s—his son’s!—shoulders and dubs him Nathaniel

His son, his heir, his legacy

Mary takes one look at the possessive look in her husband’s eyes and thinks oh hell no

For the next few days Nathan absolutely showers Nathaniel with affection

He takes him to the hairdresser and buys him a whole new wardrobe, neglecting his mafia duties in order to dote upon his new son

It is possibly the happiest week of Nathaniel’s life

And then he wakes up in the night with his mother’s hand on his mouth and is given less than a minute to pack his things

Now he’s grown up in a criminal household; the notion of making a run for it isn’t exactly foreign to him

But it’s not until they’re in the car that Nathaniel realizes that his father is nowhere to be seen

Where’s dad? He asks

Shut up, his mother hisses, and slams the car into gear

From then on, he is never Nathaniel

His mother is 100% on board with his transition, but…not really anything beyond that

After all, people will be looking for a woman and a trans boy, which means Mary’s investment in Neil’s gender pretty much starts and ends with him passing as cis

She gets him all the medical treatments he needs (on the black market, since they’re on the run)—puberty blockers when he’s younger, testosterone when he’s older

But he’s never allowed to acknowledge being trans whatsoever

Not to his classmates, not to his teachers

He never gets the chance to have a queer community, or explore the nuances of his gender, because the only presentation they can afford for him to have is Masculine Cis Boy. The restriction is stifling. It’s suffocating.

Neil hates her for it

His life was, so briefly, perfect

He had his father’s love and approval for a day, a week, and he is both old enough to remember his father’s cruelty and young enough to believe that it could end

Nathan is incandescent

When he realizes what Mary has done he goes to the Moriyamas in a storm of fury

She stole my SON! He bellows

Now the Moriyama’s didn’t particularly care about Neil back when they thought he was a girl

Girls in the mafia are basically just for child-rearing, so he wasn’t a threat

So once they figure out what Nathan is talking about (this takes a sec, owing to Nathan having not previously gotten around to telling them about Nathaniel’s revelation), their first thought is that look, we might do the nepotism thing here in our family, but underlings don’t get to do the nepotism thing. Sorry, them’s the breaks

Obviously, Mary has to die—nobody’s disputing that, a woman who robbed her husband and stole his son? Only death will right that wrong—but Kengo tells Nathan that he’ll help find Nathaniel on the condition that he’s given to the Ravens upon capture

Nathan is utterly confident that his son—his son!—will perform admirably. He accepts the deal without a second thought

So they’re on the run for years and years, and Neil’s resentment towards his mother festers, but he never acts out too much, and he doesn’t contact his father

He almost does a couple times, but then he presses his hand to the iron scar on his shoulder and he can’t quite make himself go through with it

He’s sixteen when Nathan catches up with them in Seattle

There’s a shootout and Mary and Neil almost get away

But

Nathan arrives

Nathaniel! He shouts. My boy!

And Neil lurches to a stop

There is his father, walking towards him, his eyes still shining with the same fierce love and pride from when he was ten

Nathaniel, his father says. Hasn’t this gone on long enough?

Come home.

Mary is trying to drag Neil away, but he’s too fixated on his father

Can I? Neil asks. Can I really?

Of course, Nathan says. Everything is forgiven. I’ve even secured you a place on the Ravens. Didn’t you always love Exy? Come home with me, Nathaniel

Neil can barely believe it. His father is offering him everything he ever wanted. His mother has been keeping him from this, his whole life?

Why would they run?

And through this whole exchange Nathan has been getting closer, and Mary is pulling Neil back, and now he’s close enough to touch and the sound she makes is like something physical tears when she finally releases Neil and tries to flee

She isn’t fast enough

Nathan’s grin is as wide as the sun when his cleaver bites into Mary’s waist

Blood pours out

Neil screams

Mary clutches her side, staggering away, but it’s obvious she won’t make it far

Dad, no, Neil says. Don’t—

Shh, his father says. Don’t be afraid. She kept us apart all these years. She deserves to die.

And Neil—

Neil has hated his mother for most of his life

But he looks at the woman who has struggled so long to protect him—who has failed as often as she succeeded, but who fought anyway, everyday—and the man whose eyes are bright with glee at her pain

And he makes a choice

He only has a split second to see the betrayal in his father’s eyes before the pipe in his hand slams into his head and he pitches forward, unconscious

Neil does not wait to see if he survives

He grabs his mother and they run, her arm locked on his shoulder and her palm pressed to the wound on her side

Neil puts her in the passenger seat and jumps in, throwing the car in gear

You need a hospital, he says, frantic

No, she hisses, pinning a towel to her side. No hospitals

Guilt floods through him as he looks at her pale face

Sticky red handprints smear on everything she touches

I’m sorry, mom, he says, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—

Enough, she says. Drive

He drives

He drives, and drives, and he follows her instructions, and later he wouldn’t have been able to say if he actually thought she would survive; he believed it, because he had to, because he had never been without her; he knew better, because gut wounds are slow, but they are inexorable

He parks on the beach and there are tears pushing at his eyelids but he chokes them down

I’m sorry, he said, I never should have believed him. I’m sorry—

You never would have been enough for him, she says, and Neil flinches

Her hand finds his chin and she yanks him down to meet her eyes, her gaze fierce.

He never loved you, she says. He would have made you in his image, and when you failed he would have torn you apart. I would not—I would not watch him try to make my son a monster. Don’t—don’t waste it

Mom, what are you saying—

Promise me, she says

Promise you won’t go back to him

She is dying

Neil can’t refuse

He promises

She releases his face and her red fingerprints on his face burn like brands. He can feel them hours after the tears wash the blood away.

Her last few breaths are jagged as broken stones before she rattles to a stop, and Neil is alone

He burns her body and staggers out onto the road and he keeps moving, he keeps moving, because he knows if he stops he’ll shatter

His hesitation has cost him his mother’s life

But his action costs him his fathers love

In one blow, Neil broke the golden image Nathan had of his perfect son, and now all Nathan wants is to destroy him

He finds his way to Millport almost on instinct alone

He finds one of Mary’s contacts who can supply him with the hormones he needs to continue passing and squats in an empty house and speaks to none of his classmates

When the Exy team tryouts are announced, he goes, intending to only watch from a distance

Perhaps it is inevitable he’s sucked in

There is so little light in his life

Can he be forgiven for wanting one little spark?

The Foxes come for him in May, and Kevin doesn’t recognize him, because how would he? Even if they met as kids, Kevin never saw Neil post-transition

Wymack ends up telling him something about Kevin’s past and the truth about the Ravens, and Neil pales a little bit, remembering how his father had said he’d gotten Neil a place on their line-up and finally understanding why

And sometimes he looks at Kevin with blinding jealousy for the life Neil didn’t get to have, and sometimes he sees him nearly comatose with fear and drinking vodka like it’s water, and his stomach hurts thinking how cheerfully his father would have consigned him to the same fate

So canon proceeds and Neil still bitches Riko out on live TV, and Riko still manages to acquire Neil’s fingerprints

And would you believe that? The Foxes mouthy new rookie is [deadname], Nathan Wesninski’s brat?

Well, well, well

At the banquet Riko pokes and prods until Neil finally snaps, and as Dan drags the team away from the wreckage Jean grabs Neil’s arm and says, low and fast in French, You’ll meet with us later

Why the fuck would I do that? Neil demands

Because otherwise everyone will find out that the Butcher is your father

Neil can’t hide his flinch and Kevin’s eyes go wide

They flee the scene, but before they even reach Coach, Kevin is already rounding on Neil

Is it true? He croaks

Not now, Neil says

But Kevin reads confirmation in Neil’s deflection

I didn’t know [deadname] had a brother, he says

Now here is the thing

Names are obviously a touchy subject with a lot of trans people, and certainly with Neil in particular

But with everything that just happened, Neil is a bit preoccupied, and it’s been a long time since he’s associated himself with that name

Since before he stopped using it, truthfully

And so his response is out of his mouth before he can even think twice

“Who?”

Kevin nods seriously, because he is wise to the ways of mafia bosses, and it’s not exactly shocking that Nathan Wesninski had a mistress and a secret second child, especially considering his first child had been a girl

It’s several moments before Neil puts two and two together and realizes that he has inadvertently slipped through a perfect loophole

He’s failed his mother so many times, but at least this secret is still safe, and he clings to that

Neil’s gender doesn’t really affect his interpersonal relationships with the Foxes—he’s already changing out separately, so this isn’t even a whole other thing

It’s harder to hide his testosterone when he’s living in shared dorms, but he has everything in the safe and figures out the safest schedule to open it up when he’s sure Matt will be in class

Andrew finds out when they start hooking up

But remember transphobia isn’t real so it’s sort of more like Andrew goes to undo his pants and is like wait your dick is removeable? Okay.

And then he just gets on with it

So Binghamton and Baltimore happen as canon, and if Neil had ever harboured hopes that his father would forgive him and love him again, they’re broken for good when his father stalks in and sees him shivering and just grins

It is the smile of someone who has torn someone off a pedestal and is going to enjoy reducing them to dust

Nevermind that Nathan had been the one to put him on that pedestal in the first place

Stuart deus-ex-machinas us out of the maws of death and we end up back in that classic Baltimore scene with the Foxes, and they still claim him, and they still take him home

He tells them all about his mafia father and life on the run, and it doesn’t really click until later that he forgot to mention the trans thing

Not like he, you know, has to tell them, and being trans is hardly an issue in Exy since it’s co-ed, but it would probably be nice to see a real doctor instead of keep buying his hormones illegally

And moreover, he wants the Foxes to know him

So they hit the cabin in the mountains and everyone knows Neil doesn’t drink, but when Andrew pours him a shot, he takes it

Ooh, Nicky says, Is Neil about to start spilling his secrets?

Allison snorts. What secrets does he have left?

Uh, Neil says

Wait, Allison says. There’s more secrets????

Yeah, he says. Um, I’m trans

There’s a pause

Well, that’s no good, Allison said. We didn’t have a bet going on that

Everyone laughs, and Neil smiles, and he looks at the sunset and remembers his mother, and he remembers a life filled with hiding, and secrets, and loneliness

Bats swoop in the twilight beyond the cabin, and he turns towards the warmth and light inside, and he does not look back

#self indulgent trans au is self indulgent #my writing #aftg #andreil #trans neil #trans headcanons #this is actually a bit angsty be warned #i was so high on the transphobia doesnt exist part #that i forgot neils whole life is a goddamn tragedy for a seconde #tmmbsbintau

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hyunjinspark · 2 years

Note

Dang Hana, you had one job and that was too not make me hate her more MISSION FAILED WJSNMA, like it’s so obvious that she is using Hyunjin as a way to move on or as a rebound from her ex ?? This is displayed especially when she keeps talking about her ex and his new girl and I’m like tf ??? WHY DO YOU CARE SM SMH. And also tbh Hana just kissed him and honestly idk why that didn’t sit right w me?? Like ok you guys kiss but also don’t do it Orin front of your friends and without consent from the other party ?? I mean maybe because I’m also seeing Hana from a 3rd party perspective so I’m kinda JWHAJAJA. But idk this chapter just made her seem and look like an inconsiderate person tbh. She clearly doesn’t know the mc well because she keeps making assumptions about her which aren’t true? Like talking about how the mc isn’t serious about dating but she just hasn’t found the right one yet !! Honestly she pisses me off and it’s tiring to see how the mc is just letting Hana take advantage of her kindness. Honestly I am just down right upset. Like stop using fate and stuff as a way to make him your hubby or smthg, actually try to appreciate him and get to know him. Tbh the only time that I agreed with Hana was when she said the mc and Hyunjin would get along really well. LIKE FINALLS SMH BAE URE SO DENSE ITS SO IRRITATING. like yo someone has to tell her that she is just so INTOLERABLE RN IMO !!!! Like how can one just be so inconsiderate ? She cant accept the fact Hyunjin asked her not to post the photo, BUT IMO considering he is a celebrity, it’s a valid reason because he obv wants to avoid scandals. I feel like she wants to post it simply because her ex posted a picture with his new love interest and that’s what kinda makes me annoyed also is how it’s so painfully obvious that she is just using Hyunjin as a way to rebound from her ex. Like I said idt Hana likes Hyunjin for who he is, it’s all just physical attraction. This can be seen how she always finds a way to shut down the things Hyunjin talks about, like how he and the mc were talking about the onion volcano. Honestly if I had her as a friend I would’ve dropped her SORRY J SAID IT SJSJSJ. Like it’s so obv her intentions are no longer pure ??? Like yea sure she did approach Hyunjin c bc she was genuinely interested in him, but as the story progressed, it became so alarmingly obvious that she is simply trying to use Hyunjin as a way to show everyone that “she is fine”, “I’m doing better without yeonjun”. She clearly cares too much about what people think and I think in a way she kind of uses his fame as a way to show yeonjun “I’m dating a celebrity. Someone handsome and better than you and your new girl”. Like tbh those intentions in itself are no longer pure. She is just using him for his fame, but idt she is doing it on purpose ofc. I think it’s more subconscious.

Like from how I see it the mc is just hurting but not to the point where it’s like OUCH MY HEART JABSJA. It’s more like she is starting to realize her feelings for Hyunjin. I honestly feel bad for her because I actually don’t know how Hyunjin feels for the mc and Hana so I hope we can see a chapter on that real soon !! But other than that I just pity the mc at this point bc they guy she is attracted to is dating someone else, and she even had to watch her “best friend” and said boy kiss. It’s like the universe is rubbing it into her face that she can’t have him. And that sucks !!! And also, her so called “best friend” (Hana) treats the mc like ABSOLUTE GARBAGE !!! Like gurl … MC HAS GONE AND SEEN ENOUGH PLSSSSS !!! But tbh the mc is such a good person to a fault imo. Like she takes whatever shiz Hana gives her and it’s just irritating. Like it’s obvious that the mc is always there for Hana. This is seen when Hana keeps calling the mc and how Hana always expects her to be there, and how she gets mad when the mc says “I cant rn I’m busy”. That could imply that Hana isn’t used to the mc not being there for her when she needs to rant or needs help. And it’s also so painfully obvious how loyal the mc is. Loyal to a daily imo. Like even though the mc is hurting, and sees the guy she is attracted to and Hana kiss, she tolerates it because she just wants Hana, a person she cares about, to be happy. Tbh this story in a way also kind of reflects the true nature of human kind. How very kind ppl like the mc are always and frequently taken advantage of their kindness. Bc I’ve seen many situations like this happen with ppl like these and it’s sucks on their part because they don’t deserve it !!! But also based off her last statement, I hope she won’t be the one to blatantly point out Hana’s true intentions. Because imo it might cause more harm than good, and I think it would be better if Hyunjin found out Hana’s true intentions himself. Although idk if that’s going to happen or if it’s possible, but let’s see what happens !!! But also tbh I find it inspiring how the mc always tries to find the goodness in other ppl !! Like how it’s so obv that Hana is just using Hyunjin as a rebound and constantly comparing him to her ex’s new girl and how she is better off. I like how the mc continues to believe that Hana’s intentions were true and pure (which they initially were), but slowly it just deviated away from that imo. And the mc notices that which is good, but also it’s just a pity that she clearly likes Hyunjin, and I know I kept mentioning she wouldn’t admit it, she did mention in one of the later parts in chapter 5 that “although she and Hana might like him differently”. Kind of a signifier that she sort of has a feeling that she indeed likes Hyunjin and j think she subconsciously admitted it to herself. THATS A GOOD AND BAD THING bc she will just hurt more, but also it’s a step forward to growth :>.

And as for Hyunjin, he is just confusing I’m sorry ISBAKAJ. Like to the point I’m getting really annoyed JHSJAHAA. bc like it’s obv he is attracted to the mc but idk how he feels about her so I’m kinda lost. But my initial thought still stands wherein I do think he is attracted to the mc hence why he even asked about the mc in the date between him and Hana. But I think he now feels discouraged because he feels like he may not have a chance due to the things that Hana mentioned. How the mc doesn’t take dating seriously etc. but I still do think that he likes her either way ! But idt he is admitting it to himself yet. It’s very endearing how Hyunjin is so observant of the mc and can literally READ but does not see through Hana HELPPP AJDHSJS but it could be bc Hyunjin doesn’t know about Hana’s past with Yeonjun. And tbh I think another reason why Hyunjin isn’t admitting his feelings to the mc is because he thinks that there’s either smthg going on between the mc and Felix, or Felix already likes the mc (or vice versa). This can be seen how when the mc answered the call, he immediately assumed it was Felix. Also I think he likes the mc because literally when they were talking about what could inspire art etc, when he said “A person”, BRO LITERALLY STARED OUR CUTE LIL MC DOWN LIKE SHEEEESH AJBSJAJA. but tbh I also feel bad for Hyunjin bc poor boy must be confused rn ab his feelings bc I think it’s more like, he is already seeing someone but he can’t be feelin these things for someone else, ESPECIALLY FOR THE BEST FRIEND IF THE OERSON HE JS SEEJNG SJSJSJ, so I think he is also “forcing” himself to see the mc in a light wherein they are “just friends” but bae all the signs and actions just make me think he likes the mc more and more AJBSJAHAJA. Sorry Hyunjin you are VERY VERG BAD AG HUDING UR FEELINGS DONT EVEN ESPECIALLY FROM US WE SEE EVERYTHING AISHJAJS. But huge tbh though, I do think Hyunjin is slowly starting to realize his feelings for the mc. This is shown when Hyunjin proposes to cancel his pre made plans with Hana to hang out with the mc !!! I bet if the mc hadn’t said anything, he would’ve really cancelled it. ALSO HELP DID HYUNJIN AND HANA RLLY KISS DOE DURING THEIR DATE ? Doesn’t seem like smthg for Hyunjin’s character in the story to do doe so idk I was shocked sjsbjs

All in all the new chapter was beautifully written as usual !!! But it broke my heart more than it brought me butterflies :<< ITS LIKE there’s always a good moment and then suddenly It’s just gone HUHU SHEBJA. i hope the time wherein everything h folds is soon bc idk how much more heart ace I can take for our poor mc JSBAJA IM TOO INVESTED IN THIS SJSHJSS. But fr I hope both the mc and Hyunjin get together soon HELP I JUST WANT ALL THE DRAMA TO END AKSBJSS ITS TOO PAINFUL !!! JSHAJAHA but that just means ure doing a great Job writing it AJEHJAAJ but actually, will we get to see Hyunjin’s point of view ? Like how he feels about the mc and all ? And around what chapter is that ? And how does Hyunjin truly feel for Hana and the mc ? No pressure to answer though !!

-🌸

your ask made me laugh haha. mission failed indeed !! since you sent this for a previous chapter, i wonder what you feel for her now after the latest update. it definitely is obvious that hyun is and was a rebound to her, but we are yet to hear both of their povs about that relationship in depth !

reading your thoughts about hana is always so interesting haha and i love reading every example for your opinion ! thank you so much for going to that effort and telling me !

aw dont be annoyed by hyun😭😭 hes just sorting out his feelimgs too and perhaps once you read it from his perspective, it may help things haha ? but he definitely is terrible at hiding his feelings and is very very obvious now !! (or is he just being nice 😗)

i hope the butterflies come back but he prepared for a lot more angst before the good stuff 🥲

#star lost with you

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peanut-butter-parkerxx · 3 years

Text

Movie night at the avengers compound

Movie night with your boyfriends second family

Warning: a lotta fluff

Pairing: Peter x fem!reader

Status: dating 🥰

It's you traditional Friday avengers movie night, where all..well most of the avengers watch movies together as family time (not all the avengers come every Friday but they try their best to)

so all the avengers gathered up and went to the largest living room, you may ask why we don't use the theatre room but Tony always say that "family time" is spending the day with each other not scattered around in a theatre *A/N: sorry to anyone who does them in the theatre they're all great I LOVE reading them, but for a movie night I just imagine them in a theatre-ish living room if that makes sense*

Tony just prefers us to huddle up in the huuuge couch and some would sit on the comfy side chairs or on the soft fuzzy floor from literally THE most comfortable rug EVERRR.

Vision and I are usually in charge of the snacks, they let vision get them coz they know he won't eat any of the food, but what's stupid is that they also put ME in charge, and I am definitely a foodie especially for snacks!

Once vision and I put the snacks in the table that's in the middle of the whole seating arrangement, we sit back quickly to get the best spots.

"Y/N/N!! RIGHT HERE!" Peter said, I mentally thanked my considerate boyfriend that he saved THE best spot..well in my opinion, which is the bed side of the comfortable L shaped couch, so Peter and I were basically cuddling

"So" tony says clapping his hands together "what are we watching?" Looking at the rest, and like every single damn time, everyone shouts they're movie recommendation all at once

"THE NOTEBOOK" Wanda screams with a smile on her face

"IT, IT, IT, IT" nat and Clint chant

"MEAN GIRLS!" Thor shouts

"STAR WARSSS" Peter beams with his cute smile and lit up eyes, I wanted to pick something on my own but seeing peters face made me melt, so I had to help him out!

"YEAH STAR WARS" I scream throwing pop corn at Thor, and when he noticed, he started dumping the whole box on me.

"THOR, OH MY GOD" I look at him and he has satisfaction written on his face. My face was pure rage, in a joking matter obviously but before I do anything Sam cuts me off and the rest still chanting their movie picks.

"YALL MOVIES ARE DISTASTEFUL, WE'RE WATCHING BAYWATCH" Sam screams at everyone *A/N: just think of any mature movie coz it fits with the story*

"THERE ARE KIDS HERE SAM!!" Steve shouts back, oh boy here we go again..

"ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT TONY HIRES A BABY AND THE BABY BRINGS HIS GIRLFRIEND 24/7!" Sam claps back pointing at tony

"HEY" tony yelled finally taking his attention off the discs he has in his hands.

"OH SHUT UP SAMANTHA!" I say,, he finally shuts up and slumps back to his seat while everyone's laughing

We FINALLY decided on the Aladdin live action movie, Thor never watched it so we HAD to show him or..I had to show him 😂

I was snuggled in peters chest, our legs practically knitted together while his arms are wrapped around me, my right arm is holding his soft hand while my left is playing with his hair.

🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸

A whole new world comes up, Thor was practically sobbing at this point, Loki has a hard yet emotional face trying to contain his feelings, nat was calming Steve and Clint down, coz they were also very into that scene, tony suddenly decided to put sunglasses (we all know why) and Peter was also tears eyed.

I on the other hand was trying to distract myself by humming the song, it always gave me goosebumps but I tried not to sing too loud.

guess I wasn't very subtle coz then Peter started singing with me, he never sung infront of me before and..,he had a good voice, wait let me correct that, an angelic voice, oh my god I could go to sleep just by hearing him sing one word.

I looked at him when we finished the song and smiled, he reciprocated and kissed me softly, just like the movie.

"You have a really good voice" I say stretching the "really"

"Nah, i don't think so, but YOU...that's a different story" he replies

"No I'm serious" I laugh "we should sing together sometime" I say practically begging him. *A/N: should I make that an imagine? Them singing together and maybe getting caught or smthg idk*

"Uhh I don't know y/n/n I'm not that good" he says softly snuggling his head in my neck

"Pleeease, let's try it at least?" I ask massaging his head, and groans in satisfaction...got him

"Fine ok" he grunts but secretly likes the idea

🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸

After 2hrs of singing and dancing to Aladdin, the movie finished, basically half of the avengers are asleep, nat, Steve, and Bucky decided to go to their comfortable bed instead of getting toes on their faces or get in an uncomfortable position, but for y/n and Peter, they basically had the best spot so no one could annoy them.

"Ok goodnight Peter and y/n" nat says waving at us from the doorway

"night" Say, my voice muffling from the blackest and eyes closed

"Mmmbphm" Peter blurted out, I don't even know what he was saying but it was so cute seeing his tired face, smushed from the blackest as well

"Goodnight pete" i say getting closer to him

"Night babe" he whispered helping me get closer to him

Wow, what a wonderful night 🥰

hope you guys liked this one!

have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night

- quacksonlover

#spiderman #peter parker x fem #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker #peter parker fluff #ned leeds #may parker #aunt may #the avengers #mcu #michelle jones #marvel #sony pictures #imagines #peter parker x reader #fluff #peter #parker #avengers

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fakecrfan · 3 years

Note

Ok. So Martin has to figure out what the Eye is at some point before the Goggles Incident or else he wouldnt know to blind himself to escape, right? So. When and how did he figure that out? And like, I get that he cant accept what the Eye offers as real love but wouldn't he try bargaining to, idk, date elias or smthg if the other 3 are released kind of like in aoye? Why would the Eye not go for that in this scenario?

Okay so--yes. Martin does discover what’s going on before the goggles incident. And of course, he discovers you can quit by gouging your eyes out. But it happens in phases.

Phase 1: he gets into the tunnels sometime after the Jane Prentiss threat blows over (but Martin’s been evicted and he’s weirdly having trouble finding a new place.) He gets information on the entities in general from Leitner.

Martin still promises he’ll come back and they’ll exchange more info. When he does come back, he finds Leitner completely fucking dead, so that’s how that goes.

(There is also some drama with the polycule and how they react to the tunnels--but I got another ask on that so I will expound on that Later :) )

Phase 2: Martin, after so much running around and trying to find out what eye monster is doing this and trying to wheedle information from people, gets straight up told by Elias that the Eye is in love with him. Martin does not accept this at first.

Phase 3: Melanie quits.

And you see, this is quite an accomplishment. Jon does now tell her how to quit in this AU, because Jon simply does not find Eric’s tape. Melanie follows Eric’s path in a more--indirect way. She goes through the process trial and error herself.

Of course her first instinct is to simply murder Elias. This prompts consternation from the rest of the polycule. Even Martin objects, also worried about all of them dying, to which Melanie throws something at him and screams not everything is about what you want!

She does feel bad about it afterwards, but she decides that bad feeling must be more Eye brainwashing, so she smothers it intentionally and does not apologize.

The attempts on Elias’s life before standard procedure. The others stop getting riled up about them. It even becomes an integral part of the team atmosphere. Exchanges like: “Ah, sorry Tim, seems like Melanie poisoned everything in the fridge just in case Elias eats any of it” become an ordinary and accepted part of life at the Archives.

The murder attempts distract everyone from all her other attempts to free herself.

Melanie reads every single statement she can get her hands on, trying to find any mention of someone fighting successfully against an Entity’s influence. She finds the story of Agnes Montague freeing someone from the web-induced mind control with a kiss on the cheeks.

That gives Melanie an idea, and sets her on a path. The first stop on that path is Jude Perry.

(CW: self harm, serious self-injury, and self destructive behavior bordering on suicidal.)

Jude laughs at Melanie’s dilemma (she always did find other people’s misery funny) and laughs even more at her hypothesis. Still, when Melanie grits her teeth and explains what she wants from Jude, Jude grins.

“Well,” Jude says. “I can practically guarantee you won’t get anything out of it that you’re hoping for. But you are pretty, so how could I say no?”

Georgie, as Melanie’s emergency contact, is the one who gets called by the hospital and gets to see her bandaged up from the burns Jude left on one side of her face.

Georgie is also there when Melanie gets to wake up and find out it didn’t work--that the same intense pressure for her to return to the Institute is still there. Melanie sobs a bit over it, squeezing Georgie’s hand, but--she’s not done, either. Not remotely.

If it’s not that the Desolation gives some sort of protection from mind control, Melanie decides, it must be that different Entities cancel each other out. And if the Desolation cancels out the Web, then--there has to be one that cancels out the Eye.

And so Melanie’s path continues.

She tracks down Manuela Domingeuz, and then Helen.

Melanie gets locked in the dark box (willingly) for days, and spends some indeterminate amount of time stumbling in Helen’s corridors, listening to Helen’s giggles echo around the corner and wondering if she’ll ever get let out. In each of these it--Melanie can feel the Eye subside for a moment. Can feel her thoughts become her own again.

But once she’s out, the pressure is always back. Pushing her back to the Institute. Letting her know Martin is worried.

She has so, so many fights with Georgie throughout all of this. Because Georgie both disagrees with Melanie keeping everything to herself, and disagrees with everything Melanie is doing when Melanie actually explains any of it.

“This isn’t helping anything, Melanie! I can’t just sit by and watch you slowly kill yourself.”

“Where were you? Please tell me what’s going on.”

“You’re just as bad as Jon.”

They stop talking. They start talking again. Melanie gets increasingly more erratic and hostile in her interactions with everyone. Jon tells her a supernatural bullet is causing this but, “It’s fine, we’ll make sure you stay one of Us enough to keep clear headed.”

She throws something at him, and screams.

Georgie wants her to stop trying. Wants her to focus on self-preservation, and stop self destructing for no foreseeable gain.

“And just let them keep controlling me?” Melanie mumbles, pressed up against Georgie’s shoulder.

“You’d still be alive, though,” Georgie says. “That has to be worth something.”

Melanie almost gives in, then. Only for a second, though. The problem is that Georgie’s words have the exact opposite of the effect Georgie intends. Because Melanie hears that and feels her heart melt and something in her goes: oh, this is what real love is.

She compares it to the foreign obsession that grips her at the worst of times, and she makes a choice.

Next week, Melanie locks herself in her own apartment. She knows she’ll get sick if she doesn’t go back to the Institute. It’s time to see if it will really kill her--or else, call her bluff.

Her phone blows up. She shuts it off and throws it out the window. Over the next few days, it becomes impossible to sleep. She paces, vomits, and scratches at herself. She gets furious, breaks things, kicks things, and cries through it all. She feels an ache in her leg, and thinks about what Jon told her about the bullet.

“Well,” she says, through the haze of lost sleep. “Maybe I can stop one thing from controlling me, at least.”

She cuts up her own leg. Messily, bloodily, not having enough foresight to sterilize the knife or have sutures or gauze ready to go. It’s pure luck that she doesn’t hit a major artery in the process, and that she gets it out.

Then, she hears knocking at the door.

“Fuck off!” she yells.

“Melanie?”

The voice makes her blood run cold. Martin. Her eyes move towards the door without her permission.

“Sasha said you were--you were doing--” Martin swallows. “Melanie, please. You don’t have to--”

Her head spins. She stands up, and heads for the door. She shakily unlocks it as though in a trance, and when she sees Martin on the other side she knows exactly why. The sight of him makes that alien thing at the back of head light up like fireworks.

She also knows, instantly, that Martin came himself because he knew that he’d be able to get her to stop. Because the second he thought hard enough about not wanting her to hurt herself, she wouldn’t be able to. That he's started to believe in the Eye's “love” enough to use it, in this case.

“You,” she tells him, still light-headed, “are a fucker, Martin.”

He doesn’t even defend himself. She hates him for that.

“What did you---your leg. Okay, shit, we need to get you to a--let me call--”

Melanie tries to move her head away. She can’t. She tries to at least blink. She can’t. She’s locked in eye contact with him, and those same fireworks are going off in her head.

Does Melanie work it out, at that moment?

She does think, briefly, of Manuela’s darkness. How that darkness blotted out the Eye’s influence, if only for a moment. About how Manuela ritualistically scratched out photographs of eyes, while Melanie was there. But maybe Melanie still doesn’t really make the intellectual connection.

Maybe it’s just spite.

She can’t move her own goddamn eyes. If it’s gonna be that way, then at the very least the Beholding shouldn’t get them either. And so, Melanie takes the knife she’d just used on her legs, and turns it on her own eyes.

The last thing she sees is Martin’s shrieking face--but the first thing she feels when she wakes up is Georgie’s hand holding hers, and that makes it worth it.

#and now Martin learns (viscerally) how someone can quit #martin + tapes #now with the culmination of Melanie's time in the polycule!

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everythingoesnk · 4 years

Text

Better Late Than Never

summary; john plays cupid (sorta?)

word count; 1 711

request by anon; “heehee i never knew u took requests!! ur writing is so lovely u rlly are talented❤��❤️ i was wondering if u could do smthg ab being georgies neighbour and like him n the quarrymen r rehearsing and they invite u to watch and they flirt w u and he gets jealous”

disclaimers; this sat in my drafts for ages but i finally finished it. glad that i can post it for once and for all. don’t be too hard on me cause i haven’t written shit in so long and i’m super sceptical about my work ty

warnings;

********

A few weeks earlier, Paul and John made the decision that Eric Griffiths had to go. They wanted George to be part of the group, and with Eric on board there were just too many guitars. The Quarrymen, along with Lowe on the piano and Hanton on the drums, had a demo recording scheduled in Kensington in a couple of days, so whenever they had the time, they would invest it in practising and sprucing up their performance.

You were coming back home after babysitting a three-year-old boy when you saw Paul and John’s distinctive jaunty silhouettes down the street.

They were carrying their instruments.

”Reunion of bitches?” you teased, bumping your shoulders with theirs to open a spot for you in between.

They were so used to you being a nosy little bird that they didn’t even flinch when you appeared.

“If what you mean by that is if we’re heading to a rehearsal, yes we are” Paul confirmed looking down at you with a warm smile. He slid his arm around your neck and patted your cheek persistently just to annoy you. “It’s the three of us this time, the others are busy”

You tried to smack his hand away while he spoke, but he had it strongly clamped over your mouth now, playfully sticking to his cat-and-mouse game. John was used to Paul behaving like this around you, you being like a little sister to him even though you shared the same age, so he didn’t move an inch when you began asking for help through the muffled laughter.

What came out of his mouth instead earned puzzled looks from you and Paul, who slowly let his arm drop.

“You can’t come” he had stated, because he knew you and it was only a matter of seconds before you started badgering them to let you stay and watch them play.

“Why not?” you snapped back, forehead puckered up.

John threw his head back to stare at Paul and raised an inquisitive knowing eyebrow at him.

After witnessing the looks they were giving each other, you huffed loudly, tired of the melodramatic secrecy. “Not again with the silent conversations”

“You can’t expect to know everything, (Y/N)” John stated.

“But what is there to know?” you questioned, beyond confused.

You were missing something and it was stressing you out that they knew what it was but wouldn’t tell you because they didn’t feel like it.

Paul felt empathy for you after seeing you so lost.

“We don’t progress much when you’re around because you distract Geo too much” he explained.

“Bravo, Macca” John sighed as the three of you continued to walk towards George’s house.

With their ‘silent conversation’ they agreed not to rat out George, but Paul’s mouth was faster than his brain could ever be.

John should have taken into account his mate’s overspoken nature.

“I do?” you said, lines forming between your brows, not understanding. “How so?”

John snorted. “Sit and observe”

You turned to Paul. He was staring at John the same way one does when you recognize your friend is about to put on a show and you aren’t very sure if it’s the right time or place, but you know that anything you say will fly into their ear and out of the other.

He fixed his eyes tenderly on you after and shrugged his shoulders with a peculiar cheekiness.

George looked every bit the unconcerned man as he sat back and watched John plop down on the couch next to you, splaying his arms along the top of the seat as he asked you how much you get paid for the babysitting.

They were in a break after been playing for two hours.

“Not much” you noted.

“Quit” he interrupted, smirking friskily and brushing a strand of hair behind your ear cautiously. “I’ll double your wage if you join the band. We are missing the attractive factor”

You wheezed. “I’m positive with your talent it’ll be sufficient” you said, laughing still.

You looked over at George. He wasn’t looking in your direction but John’s, mouth compressed and something you couldn’t fathom flitting across his eyes.

“Besides,” you added, “I don’t know how to play any instrument to save my life”

“The piano a little bit” George chimed in, after deliberating whether to speak or not.

You blushed settling your gaze on him one more time, marvelled that he remembered. “It’s been years since I last practised”

“If the piano is too much I’ll give you my harmonica. I’m fucking tired of blowing into that shit” John offered, resting his left hand on your thigh and giving it a firm squeeze.

Everyone laughed except George. He didn’t even smile.

He dipped his eyes and ran a finger over his brow back and forth for a couple of seconds before grabbing his guitar again.

Something was off with him, and it upset you that he was feeling under the weather when Paul, John and you were vibing and having such a wonderful time.

John kissed your cheek and cuddled you after wrapping his leather jacket around you even though you didn’t ask for it. George saw and shook his head gently, forcing himself to continue working on his part so he would nail it in the upcoming session. His mind was elsewhere and the chords didn’t sound as good as he wanted them to be. He brought his brows together and you stifled an affable grin, observing silently while he mumbled under his breath, probably putting himself down for not getting them right.

John smiled seeing you stare at George, but Paul knew what that smile meant, what was really behind it, and he started gesturing at him as subtle as he could not to push his luck with George. He’d keep his conscience clean regardless of what happened from now on.

John’s smile enlarged when he saw his best mate from the corner of his eye trying to catch his attention, but he had it all mapped out in his head.

He leaned forward, elbows on the knees and fingers interlocked.

“(Y/N), is it true that you’ve been seeing Sam?”

You looked over at John, perplexed.

George also raised his gaze, disconcertion lurking in it.

Paul slapped a hand to his forehead.

Clueless as to why he would ask that, you turned pink. “Where have you heard that?”

George interpreted your blush as you being embarrassed because you got caught, and your question as wanting to know who spillt the news. The suave yet pained expression tinted on his face was replaced by a rather sad and fragile one.

Instinctively, you pinned your eyes to George’s when John didn’t answer you. You weren’t dating anyone named Sam and you didn’t want him to believe that you did.

He remained there staring what felt like a lifetime into your eyes, only for his to fall to the floor seconds after. He stood up and paced to the door.

Envy overloaded him, making his jealously evolve into what a romantic would describe as passional delirium.

Hastily, he turned, came up to you and closed his fingers over your arm. John watched with a wry grin.

“Can we talk?” George asked, his tone filled with forced politeness.

You nodded and let him guide you towards his kitchen.

He looked over his shoulder first to confirm that neither of his bandmates had followed you there.

Then, for a few seconds, he froze. You noticed he was agitated and internally saturated with mixed feelings.

Out of the blue, he straightened his spine, a different kind of thickness filling his throat. Determined to overcome his shyness and insecurity, he gave a long exhale. Throwing you off guard, he grabbed your face, fingers gripping tightly your cheeks, and pressed his mouth to yours so enthusiastically that you subtly felt his front teeth.

Excitement and love rushed into your veins.

You kissed him back and wrapped your arms around his waist, knowing from the get go that this wasn’t going to be the last time that you would taste his lips. George couldn’t open his eyes at first after having departed from the kiss, which turned out to be the best and most pleasant, pure and precious kiss he had ever shared.

When he flicked them open, he couldn’t resist the drive to glide his thumb over the soft skin of your sweet fleshy lips.

John suddenly burst into the kitchen pretending to pull off that the obtrusion was casual. The real and obvious reason was that he wanted to see what was going on behind curtains.

George quickly pulled back.

That reaction and the swollen lips from both of you was enough for John.

“Don’t mind me. Just came here for something to drink” he said, but the clownery in his voice was oh so present and solid.

Cheeks burning, George didn’t move.

John, with the glass in his hand, turned to him before leaving.

“I mean, maybe it’s you who needs some water. You look feverish, my friend”

You quickly pushed him out of the kitchen.

George slowly looked up again when he wasn’t around. “There’s no Sam, is there?”

You shook your head no. “John is a crackhead, a good bloke but a crackhead. Never listen to him, listen to me” you smiled. He drew you into his arms, missing your warmth already. “I’m not dating Sam, Geo. He’s blond and I’m not into blondes”

George chuckled. “What are you into, then?” he asked, needing to hear from you that you only wanted him.

“I’m into this guy from The Quarrymen. Not the one who plays the bass, and clearly not the blind one, he’s too much of a ponce sometimes” you smirked. “Into the bushy unibrow guy”

He laughed harder and tightened his embrace.

“Lucky you he’s had his eye and unibrow on you for some time”

“Sweet, cause I’ve been in love with him ever since I met him”

George stared dearly down at you with the brightest smile and captured your lips again.

He didn’t know if John was a genius or a foolish cretin for causing him to feel so enraged before, making him believe you had a boyfriend.

The perfect mix, he conceded.

#george harrison x reader #john lennon #paul mccartney #ringo starr #the beatles #george harrison imagine #george harrison fanfic #george harrison fanfiction #tayloredstarr

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darling-i-read-it · 4 years

Text

Advice

Steve Harrington x reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: nothing I don’t think!

Author’s Note: Man do I love Steve. I can’t believe it’s coming up in the one year anniversary of season 3...scoops ahoy steve was a whole other level wasn’t he. I hope you enjoy this love!

Requested; by anon, hi queen!! could i request smthg w steve harrington? like maybe working at scoops w him and robin and u kinda think he likes her cuz they’re always tg but rlly hes just tryna get advice on how to talk to u🥰🥰 im just so soft for nervous steve🥺❤️ (i love ur writing by the way!! ur so talented🤩)

Summary: the request

Genre: good ol’ fluff

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director

(not my gif)

It was Steve who had actually told you to get a job at Scoops with him. You would have rather been anywhere else if you were completely honest but that summer in Hawkins was going on record as one of the hottest and if you couldn’t spend it in a pool you may as well spend it with ice cream and Steve.

You and Steve had been best friends all through high school, even when he was a proper asshole. You and Nancy Wheeler got him straight somehow and now you were closer than ever and Nancy Wheeler was no longer a concern.

“Can I have the rocky road?” the little girl in front of you asked. You nodded, a small smile forced onto your face. You were nearing the end of your shift which meant you had just caught Robin walking into the back. You liked Robin, in the sense you thought she was pretty cool. You disliked Robin in the sense that you were pretty sure that Steve had a crush on her. Of course, you could never hold his actions against her but still, you held a little grudge.

“Here you go.” You handed the girl her ice cream and she threw you some cash. She was gone before you could even give her change but in the end you just threw it in the cash register. You turned around to see Steve standing in the back room with Robin, talking in hushed voices.

You tried to suppress the major crush you had on your best friend. You didn’t want it to ruin your relationship at all and you surely didn’t want to embarrass yourself. As the next customer came up you tried to convince yourself that your feelings for him weren’t there.

Steve and Robin came through the door and you turned around, eager to get home. You had to stop by JCPenny to get Max and Eleven and give them a ride home.

“Hey, you still picking up the girls?” Steve asked. You nodded, taking off your hat and giving it to him. He took it but ended up just tossing it aside. He hated those hats. Robin took the next customer. “You wanna bring them some ice cream?” You nodded but he was already scooping.

“Hey the boys said they were coming to see the new movie coming out next week so whichever one of us is here-”

“Of course.” Steve handed you two cones and your bag which he had brought from the back.

“God, we sound like their parents.” He shrugged.

“You remember what Max’s mom is like? Not to mention Mike’s. We could be their parents for all those women know.” You laughed and shrugged.

“Dingus, come scoop ice cream for actual customers.” Steve nodded and turned away from you. You swallowed hard and then left for the store. It was a short walk and the girls were already waiting for you. You handed them the cones which they took happily.

“So has Steve asked you out yet?” Max asked, liking the side of the cone. You shook your head, gesturing for them to get up. You started your walk out to your car.

“No, I told you, I’m pretty sure he’s in love with Robin.” El scoffed.

“He looked at you…” she trailed off, trying to find the words, “..like you’re the stars.” You couldn’t help but flush at that.

“But he’s always with Robin. When we’re working, when we aren’t working. I mean, c’mon.” Max stopped in front of you. Her sunglasses fell onto her eyes but it made her strikingly menacing for a teen girl.

“Steve has loved you since the second I moved here. Everyone can see it, why can’t you? Come on, tomorrow when you get off work tell him. If you don’t tell him now you may never really, truly know.” You looked at this girl, this young girl and couldn’t help but smile in admiration.

“Max, Lucas is a lucky boy.” She shrugged and licked her ice cream.

“I know.”

After work the next day you prepared yourself. You had told Steve that you needed a ride home cause you lent your car to Jonathan which was actually true. But now that you were walking to his car together you couldn’t help but feel worried that he may not feel the same way. You had been extra sensitive to him talking to Robin when she came in for a few hours. They seemed to sneak away and talk in soft voices so that you didn’t hear. The more they did it the more you worried you had truly missed any chance you may have had with Steve Harrington.

As you approached his car you took a deep breath.

“Hey Steve?” He hummed.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t really know how to say this so I’ll just say it.” You paused, taking in his features before you told him. Face laced with worry, hair still matted down from the cap he had to wear. “I don’t really know if you’re with Robin or not but I needed to tell you that I love you.”

It seemed too simple once you sait it. Three words, so much meaning behind them with little lead up. You couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief that was quickly replaced with fear at his reaction.

He was surprised. Very surprised. It showed on his face.

“If you don’t feel the same way I comple-”

“I love you too. What would make you think that I was with Robin?” “Well you two are always together and whispering and-” you paused a goofy smile on your face, “-you love me too?”

He smiled.

“Well of course! Man I’m so glad you said that first I never thought I’d get the guts.” You laughed dryly and leaned against the back of his car.

“Man. What do we do now then?” He laughed and gestured to your lips.

“May I?”

“The great Steve Harrington, king of high school is asking me if he can kiss me? Why I must alert the medi-”

He didn’t let you finish because he was already kissing you. You were amazed at his skill but even more amazed at the fact that it was really Steve, your Steve, that was kissing you. You leaned back and smiled, running a hand through his hair to add some volume to it.

“I was talking to Robin cause I wasn’t sure how to talk to you. Or approach you. Or really get through to your romantic side,” he said shyly. You grinned. That made you feel a lot better.

“Did she give you good advice?” He kissed you gently and slowly again.

“I think she did.”

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagines #stranger things imagines

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mogaiboards · 3 years

Note

hey could i have a name and pronoun check with the name amber and she/her and xe/xyr/xem pronouns ? maybe with xe/xem more than she/her since those are the new ones im trying out

some stuff abt me (include or dont include whatever you like, i just want to give you a bunch of stuff to work with if u need it) :

im currently hyperfixated on the movie megamind

i really like punk music esp folk punk and i want to get more into the punk subculture

i love looking at pictures of furbies esp the oddbody ones. i save the weirder creepier ones to send to my bestie cherry (she/they) to (lovingly) antagonize them

im trilingual ! i speak english, arabic, and french

i enjoy coding esp when i get to work on a project that joins coding with art and design. maybe ill make a videogame or smthg someday !

ok that was really long, thank u for ur time !!

This is my friend Amber!

Xyr current hyperfixation is on the movie Megamind!

Xe also loves punk music, and xe wants to get more into the punk subculture

Xe likes looking at pictures of Furbies, especially xyr favourites are the Oddbody ones. Xe sends the creepy and weird ones to xyr friend Cherry to (affectionately) antagonise them

Xe is trilingual, and xe speaks Arabic, English and French! I would love to know more about xyr passion with languages, since I also love them!

Amber also loves coding, and she especially loves projects that let her join coding with arts and design. She's thinking about making her own videogame, and I'm sure she'll do great!

#name validation #pronoun validation #she her #xe xyr #she/her #xe/xyr #xe/xyr/xem

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wildselkie · 4 years

Text

Top 10 Scenes in TDP Season 1 (pt. 1/3)

*not ordered in which is better or worse, but it will be in chronological order*

Also some things are worded weirdly. I have a pain in the ass time trying to get my thoughts across in words so... I thank you for your patience :))

_________________________________________

1) The scene where Callum, Ezran, and Rayla find the dragon prince. Ep. 2

I think this is one of the more pivotal moments in the show. I mean it is literally the scene that sets the story in motion after all! Two human princes, an elf assassin, and the lost dragon prince (who was thought to be dead/gone/egg destroyed(?)).. this is just IT.

*also i’m aware that Ez probably found the egg first cos he already knew about this secret area but still

2) Viren (attempts to) proposes the idea to trade his life in for Harrow. Ep. 3

Now there are other well thought and well written posts on this scene with Viren and Harrow, so I won't waste your time with all the gushy stuff. I find this scene important because it shows the lengths that Viren would go for his friend. Whether he's doing out of the goodness of his heart or some other selfish reason... maybe both(?)..

!WARNING! MINI VIREN POST ALERT EVEN THO I SAID I WOULDN'T GET INTO IT

In the book Moon, it dives deeper into the plot along with expressing the characters' thoughts and feelings. As for Viren, it's stated in the book that he wanted to:

"offer his life for Harrow's, but he wanted him to understand that this was more than just a sacrifice of a subject to his king. This was personal"

"... he would need to be straightforward. He wanted to say simply I love you and I will die for you" (Ehasz 80).

I have no doubts that Viren didn't not love Harrow or anything of the sorts, but at the same time it feels like there was another motive. Maybe there was, who knows.

All we know about Viren is that he's a father of two (Claudia & Soren), divorced/ separated from his wife, and he's a dark mage. Of course there's some more (like he's taller than Harrow according to the character line up)... also his staff... like if you look at it, it's the same one as the mage who faced Sol Regem all those centuries (?) ago. Maybe he's related to him, or possibly descended from one of the followers. I'd imagine that teaching dark magic may be a thing within his family and ancestors... he taught Claudia dark magic. That doesn't prove anything but it's a small thought.

ANYWAY-- this scene is one of many scenes that show Viren in a vulnerable state. The book gives a look into how he felt when he decided to sacrifice himself and everything. It's just interesting and I'm here for it.

3) Amaya and her weapons grade baguette Ep. 4

On a less serious and more fun note, the fact that Amaya is a breakfast connoisseur is just perfect. Amazing. Fantabulous.

"As a breakfast connoisseur, she was offended that Ezran would neglect a hearty morning meal" (Ehasz 120).

I only emboldened and italicized "offended" because in the show YOU CAN LITERALLY SEE HER FACE WHEN EZ TELLS HER.

Bruh she was so offended lmaooo

It's right at 13:36 time in the show... the slow zoom in and all 😂

4) Amaya and Gren meeting Viren at the statue Ep. 5

I’m trying to see if I should have paired this with the first scene where Amaya arrives first. That scene is pretty calm but has a somber feeling. It introduces the relationship of Amaya and Sarai without having to directly say it.

But this scene here is... interesting. Not in a good way or bad way, but we see they’re reminiscing of the past. At some point, they all got along nicely. Callum even noted in his spellbook that Viren’s family became like a second family to him when he moved to the castle.

This interaction was cute tho. It started out positive (sort of) with them joking about Viren eating the last jelly tart which pissed Sarai off lol. But then Viren went on to apologize to Amaya and reassured her that what he does is out of the goodness of his heart and love for Katolis. But...

“Aaaaand, he’s back, Amaya thought” (Ehasz 150).

And then went on to sign that he’s on a bunch of bs. See? Even Amaya knows he’s full of shit lol. But really tho... it makes me wonder how much of bs Viren goes on even before the events of the current story line.

5) Rayla saves Bait from the sea monster Ep. 5

Let us give a round of applause for Rayla going against her fear of water to save Bait, the grumpy frog who hates her. I think this just goes to show how compassionate Rayla really is. This would include the time when she goes back to grab bait back in the banther lodge in episode 4.

6) Viren giving his kids their *secret* missions Ep. 6

Okay this isn’t just one scene. I cheated yeah yeah whatever >:3

When Viren is telling Soren what he must do when he finds the princes, at first he doesn’t fully get it, but then.. OH n0

Viren’s intentions are starting to unfold and come together as one. Like, this man just told his own SON that should he find the princes, he should kill them. This 18 yr old bby

bruh

And Viren didn’t say it aloud, but he heavily implied it. Only to then gaslight him later on when Claudia confronts him in prison.

As for Claudia, Viren tells her that she must retrieve the egg. And do everything in her power to bring it back, even if it means that she’ll have to sacrifice Soren... her own damn brother ;-;

7) When Callum finally lets Rayla hold the egg Ep. 6

This scene is pretty big. Rayla knows that Harrow is long gone and is trying to find a way to tell them. Obviously she doesn’t choose the best time to try it.

They were in a dire situation that could potentially kill them (even tho they had plenty of those moments already). The reason why this scene is so big is because it shows her struggle to break the bad news (ever since the right binding fell) as she continues to grow closer to them. Here you can see Callum passing the egg to her, despite her hand being in the terrible state that it is in. It is also the scene where right before passing it, he finally tells Rayla that he trusts her.

8) Human Rayla!! Ep. 7

Human Rayla is so corny but it’s the good kind of corny. One of the best comedic jokes in the series!

That is all cos human Rayla needs an AU of being a nighttime tv host or smthg

9) Viren and Runaan Ep. 8

yo this is alot okay. The scenes with these two introduced some Moonshadow philosophy and such (ie. not being scared of death). Runaan being the stoic and serious assassin that he is. And Viren not having any of this shit.

There are three major things here:

Runaan knows about the mirror and is most likely aware of who Aaravos is. He literally says, “That mirror? You have found something worse than death.” Goddamn...

And then Viren just... trapped his soul.. his essence into a goddamn coin. Just like that? wow. And hold it, almost admiring it in front of Gren.

Also this is the first time we officially see Viren in that form. In the beginning of episode 5 we are given a darkened silhouette of Viren and the butterflies. But here we see the damage resulted from years of having done dark magic, and it’s horrifying. He is the high mage and all but goddamn. I mean with every action there are consequences so-

10) Callum destroying the primal stone Ep. 9

I feel like this is one of the “of course it’s this one!” scenes but it really is! Callum realizes that only a sky dragon can be hatched in the eye of storm and there he is with a literal storm in his hand. By now, Callum has come to understanding what feels right and that being a mage is his destiny. But he also understands that he needs to sacrifice some things for new beginnings. This whole journey was to get the lost dragon prince home and restore balance and peace and with the egg starting to die... well you can’t really do that without the egg.

It’s at 18:50 where he realizes all of this. It’s one of the big boy moments in the show. Seriously, it’s a big moment and the suspension helped get the feels in. And we got a cute baby dragon!!

End, begin. it’s all the same. (pls someone get that reference ;-;;;)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some honorable mentions:

- Episode 7: Claudia and Soren interacting. I love their sibling bond; it’s so silly and sweet and I love it. It makes me wish I had an older brother of some sort.

Ellis and Ava,, I like the flashback story given when they meet the dragang. I just like it, okay? Smol chiald w/ smol wolf pup and a hippie Lujaane seeing the beauty & strength in Ava.

CGI Coran. That all I have to say about that guy lmao

- Episode 8: When the group is going up the cursed caldera and they encounter that giant leech. Like can we just appreciate Callum’s funny way of making out a plan? Fat respect for that.

Another is when the group split up and waited for the leech to leave. The conversation between Ellis and Callum were sweet as was the one between Rayla and Ez. I loved Ellis’s admiration for Callum being a mage. And her expectations of what a mage was is pretty hilarious. So wholesome. The same goes for Ez when he gave Rayla that daily fill of positivity.

Like... Ellis is telling Callum how smart and confident and cool he is. And meanwhile Callum is like... it’s not me, it’s this. *whips out primal stone* And she goes on to tell him that she believe he’ll be amazing with or without the stone.

And Rayla is telling Ez how she failed in her job of killing the enemy. And Ez is telling her how she’s awesome at everything she does.

this is the positive wholesome shit I come for like... this is parallels but GODDAMNIT it’s so.. ;;;;-;;

Yo this is long ENOUGH! Thank you so damn much if you read to the end. You’re the real beauties. Anywho... uh parts 2 and 3 will be up soon.

It’s 11 now so I need some sleep. goodnight kids

#callum #ezran #rayla #tdp #the dragon prince #zym #hot brown morning potion #applause for the beautiful show that is tdp #tdp soren #moonshadow elves

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thejokersenigma · 4 years

Text

Don’t Start Caring - Oswald Cobblepot x Reader

This was a request - first one I’ve done in a while so I’m a bit rusty, but hey its something for me to do!

‘Hey! Would you do a fic where you’re Oswald cobblepot’s ex and are now dating Jervis Tetch and like Oswald sees you two together at a party or smthg and gets super jealous. Angsty if possible. Thank you!”

Thank you to @okkenobi for the request!

You pulled your thin cardigan tighter around your shoulders where you sat at the bar, attempting to hold in the warmth you could. You’d never really gotten used to this place and the icy temperature needed to maintain the giant ice sculpture that you knew loomed over you from the centre of the bar.

Your palm was going numb from where you clung to your drink, but your mind was too occupied elsewhere to pull your hand away.

You should have said you wouldn’t come.

You should have told him to go out without you.

It was just a business trip after all despite the surroundings and if Tetch hadn’t offered - and then further insisted - that you should join, you would never have even considered it.

A part of you couldn’t help but wonder if this visit was more than just a deal Tetch felt he was now in a good position to make with the infamous Penguin, that perhaps it was Tetch’s ability to one up the crime lord as well. Like you were a trophy to laud over people.

You screwed your eyes up at the thought. You didn’t need a man like that again. This had to be different.

Not that Oswald should care. Would care.

Or should you, you reminded yourself. Cobblepot deserved none of the space he took up in your mind right now, you thought, scowling into your drinking, your hands tightening on the cool glass.

“You seem a bit tense, my dear.” A smooth voice pointed out from behind you, echoed by the uneven tap of a stick upon the floor. You felt your shoulders tense but you kept your head down.

“I would advise against destroying that glass - terribly expensive crystal and we wouldn’t want your lovely hands shredded, would we?” You could feel his presence lingering behind you as he hobbled the last few feet towards you in his uneven gait. You turned now, your position upon the bar stool ensuring you sat an inch or so taller than him.

“Is no one allowed to drink in peace at this joint, Mr Cobblepot?” You addressed him in a sickly sweet tone.

He crooked an eyebrow at this blatant facade and you took him in, the usual sharp suit and waistcoat, the slick black hair falling across his face, the constantly calculating look in his eye. Meanwhile, Oswald was also evaluating you, his eyes glancing at you, up and down, lingering where your shoulders were tensed against the cold. “Interesting outfit choice for this particular ‘joint’.” He observed, his eyes dropping lower to where your legs sat relatively exposed - your dress, thanks to how you were sat, falling to mid thigh and the rest of you legs only encased in a thin, transparent tight.

“I don’t plan on staying too long.” You muttered, eyes dancing briefly around the room for sign of a returning Tetch.

“He’s still in my office.” Oswald answered your look, “It is your new man you are looking for, is it not?” He asked at your confused frown.

“Since when do you leave important business to wait?” You grumbled, turning back to your drink.

“Since a beauty appeared on my floor.” You snorted, rolling your eyes at this. “And since he believes I am obtaining some rather important paperwork.”

“Well, you’d best go do that then.” You stated, taking a drink, keeping your gaze straight ahead.

“And leave you alone again, my dear?”

“Oh, dear sir,” You chuckled, though the mirth didn’t meet your eyes or yourvoice, “don’t you dare start trying to care about me now.” You took a sip and was almost surprised when Oswald made no slick comeback, even more surprised when you heard him quietly bid you a pleasant evening.

You kept yourself staring at the bar whilst his footsteps retreated, glancing only over your shoulder once you were sure he was gone. You let out a sigh of relief to see him nowhere in sight, then quickly swatted away the tear that slipped to your cheek.

----------------------------------------------------

Tetch appeared at your side after two drinks and after you had felt like you had shivered away all of the excess insulation your body carried.

“My love…” At the words you were about to turn and rant at Oswald again but your expression immediately altered when you saw the familiar curls and smiling face. Tetch didn’t seem to notice and change and you quickly offered him a friendly smile and peck on the cheek.

Jarvis offered his hand and helped you off the stool. “All done, my flower. My apologies for the wait, Penguin still holds a certain amount of power.” I nodded numbly, not really caring about the politics and just wanting to be out of here. Tetch glanced around the room, searchingly. “Did you wish to stay for any more entertainment, my sweet.”

“I’d actually rather go in search of some heat.” You smiled weakly and he laughed joyously at your attempt to rhyme with him. He nodded and pulled you along by the hand behind him. You hoped his hands might be warmer than yours but his fingers offered no such comfort.

You were nearly out of the door when Tetch pulled you off course. At your hesitation he glanced back, “One must always thank the host.” He explained, placing a peck on your nose before pulling you forward again.

You noticed now what the target was, Penguin chatting with a small group of rather wealthy looking citizens to one side of the room. You swallowed and bit back a wave of emotion mixed with nausea trying to pull back enough confidence to be able to hold your head high.

Had the heartbreak changed you? Perhaps. You weren’t nearly as open with Tetch as you had been with Penguin but look where you had ended up - Tetch cared about you. That was what mattered. All that had mattered. You were good.

You thought you had been scarily good. Over it far too soon. Now, looking at Oswald as he glanced up from his conversation, noticing Tetch and you, you were worried you weren’t quite as strong as you’d thought you were.

“Sorry to intrude, ladies and gentleman,” Tetch apologised with a small bow towards the group, “We only come to beg goodnight to the host-man.”

Penguin nodded, murmuring a small apology to the group and they nodded too, turning away. Oswald eyes shifted to Tetch and you, his gaze flickering to yours only momentarily before returning to Tetch. The two men chatted small talk tensely for a moment before, “May I have a quick word with the lady, Mr Tetch.” Your head snapped up from where your gaze had fallen to your feet.

Tetch shot you a questioning look at this and you shrugged nonchalantly. This seemed to be enough for Tetch who agreed, though seemed reluctant in releasing your hand. “I shall be outside.” He promised you, stepping back a few steps and you nodded back with a grateful smile.

When you turned back to Oswald, you noticed his eyes were watching Jarvis out the door. When he felt your eyes on him, his gaze moved to you. Your smile was gone now though, a glare in place instead. “Look I don’t know what you want - “ You began but was cut off quickly when Cobblepot raised his hand.

“My dear, I say this only for you. He pleaded and he almost seemed sincere. “Tetch is -”

You screwed your eyes shut, turning your head away. “Don’t.” You growled through clenched teeth. “Just… Don’t.”

“My-”

“No!” You shouted, rounding on him. “Not yours! Stop it!” You practically screamed in frustation, forgetting the very public club you were in.

“I know, I -” Oswald tried to soothe you, reaching a hand out.

You retreated away from his hand, “Don’t you dare tell me it is just because you care!” You cried, hot tears burning at your eyes. “You are the only one who has hurt me here - not Tetch, not anyone else!” You growled, your vision blurring, “And you know what hurt me the most was that all those times I cried because of you! Got hurt because of you! And yet I still came back!” You exclaimed, “But then you said goodbye! Not me!”

Oswald didn’t seem to be able to say anything to this, his hand still partially risen in an attempt to take yours.

“You know what?” You offered, sniffing and wiping at your eyes, taking a deep breath to calm and freshen yourself. “I’m not going to hide from you though, I’m going to keep living! If you don’t want to see me with Tetch - with someone else - I suggest you don’t leave this precious club of yours because, trust me, I am not coming back here, but I will keep living. I will keep dancing! I will keep going out! If you want to believe you can stop me, believe it. But you won’t.” You stated firmly. “Now,” You sniffed. “I suggest you walk away and leave me alone, from what I remember you were pretty good at that.”

You turned on your heel then, heading for the door, but a hand on your shoulder stopped you and you glared over your shoulder at the Penguin.

“Tell me one thing.” Oswald insisted and you almost thought you could see pain in his eyes.

“What?” You snarled.

“Why are you crying?”

You tossed your head upwards in disbelief, letting out a sigh of frustration, pain and exasperation at yourself and him.

“I’m crying…, because I love you.” You confessed, then wrenched your shoulder from his grip and strode out of the club door.

#oswald cobblepot #oswald cobblepot fan fiction #reader x oswald cobblepot #fan fiction request

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kmp78 · 6 years

Text

I came, I saw, I (little bit) konquered 💪

First of all: apologies for this mega massive post! 😂

But I wanted to fit everything in one, so that´s the way it has to be!

Big thanks to lovely Stockholm for being a very gracious host and taking such good care of this world-weary traveler! Let´s start off with some general sights before getting down to the nasty business of Mars!

I have to say that seeing those posters for the 1st time in the flesh made me quite giddy indeed...

BUT NOW! On to the main event...

The M&G took place a few hours before the show, and arrangements were top grade, gotta give props when props are due!

These two ladies were really lovely and seemed like PROS at what they do and yet POLITE towards us even tho this was probably the 3000th M&G they were handling. I have no complaints!

We were escorted to a small meeting room type of area right next door to the stage area, and at first I figured I wasn´t even gonna bother fighting the hoards for the 1st row seats, but then I heard Reni saying there was one spot left - and I leaped into action.

At the M&G room Reni explained the rules and game plan for the evening. No personal/private questions, no simple yes/no questions, no groping during the pics, no running to the concert area (there were near-catastrophic incidents in Prague some days ago, some girls ran like cray and tripped and fell and created a domino effect and it was a mess...) and so on. 🙄

Reni asked us who has listened to the album (most raised their hands) and who has not listened to the album (me and few others raised ours... Hihi...), and what people´s fave songs were.

Then we got back to talking about the potential questions again, and she encouraged people to ask about the new album (*COUGH* REMEMBER THIS LATER AS YOU READ ON *COUGH*), or if you want advice etc.

Not that I cared much anyway, but seeing as she did not seem to touch upon “that topic” at all, I decided to try my luck and asked:

“What about the “elephant in the room”?” 🐘

The room fell silent and there were some dramatic “Oooooooh´s” coming from my fellow VIP peeps.

Reni´s face went serious and she quietly said “No”, as was fully expected.

I pressed on.

“How come?”

Reni: “Because we would rather... It´s a personal matter. Of the band.”

Me: “So we´re never gonna get any explanation?”

Reni: “It´s a personal matter... And until he doesn´t decide... It´s not in our...”

And that was it! That´s the explanation I managed to squeeze out! Sorry, guys! I tried, but... 😞

I´m totally not the only one who reads that to mean that IT WAS TOMO´S OWN DECISION TO WALK AND IT´LL BE HIS DECISION IF/WHEN HE COMES BACK, right?! And that the band has no say in it, and they have no clue if and when the situation gets resolved?! Right?!

UGH! 😠

Then Reni went on to explain that if someone was there specifically to meet TM, they could get a refund but they would have to leave immediately.

Total bs “offer” because there ain´t NO ONE coming to these things just to meet TM, but whatever... I did contemplate if I should ask for a partial refund because I only got partial Mars, but chose to let it slide. Not even worth it.

One guy in the audience commented “Good question”, so I guess I wasn´t alone with my queries! It may have been Gustavo, I dunno.

Before the band came in, people kept busy by asking the crew a few questions.

And at this point I would like to offer a MEA CULPA and sincere apologies to the person/persons who I battled with some weeks ago when Reni´s home land was a topic. See, as luck would have it, one of the VIPs asked the staff where they were from, and Reni said “I´M ORIGINALLY FROM MEXICO”, so yeah... Haha! I giggled quite a lot... Sorry, anon/anons! I was indeed wrong! Shayla said she´s from NYC, Inaki also from Mexico and Diana (I think that was her name...?) from Brazil.

Shayla mentioned that she is kinda jetlagged. Reni said she´s usually pretty good with it.

Then they plugged Camp Mars (a few people had no idea what Camp Mars even is...) and lured us to buy with big promises of hangings with the band during the most magical weekend of the year.

“The band is also there all day.”

Reni also inquired if people would be interested in attending Camp if they by some miracle happened to arrange it in Europe. Most people were eager, no surprises there.

Someone asked if Camp could be arranged earlier in the summer, and Reni said no because the Malibu Camp site is occupado until August.

Another one asked if Camp is getting bigger, to which Reni replied that “It´s getting better. I would not say it´s getting bigger because the number of people for the past 2 times has been exactly the same, which is 200.”

So there we have it. An official number.

Well, as official as these people are ever gonna admit, anyway... 🤷

Then we voted for our fave songs from the new album. “GWO” won.

(I voted Tabasco. 🤗)

Someone wanted to know if they were gonna play “GWO”, and Shayla said nope because they have not rehearsed it.

Of course not! 🤷

Then we swiftly moved on to the “Kumbaya” moment of the evening where Reni asked if someone knows how to sing, and some dude said yeah, so he came up front and started singing WoW.

Now this is just my opinion, but sitting there listening to an almost Sunday church-like hysterical pathos... Worshipers partying and yelling out the lyrics as if God himself was within hearing distance...

I did not know I needed that in my life. 😱

Then Reni we needed to “make some noise so they´ll come faster”.

Is... is that what VK does too? 🤔

I dunno, but we did.

It did not help. 😴

To kill even more time, we did the obligatory “Where is everyone from?” round. I stayed silent. Surprisingly it seemed like almost half of the peeps were non-Swedes! The woman next to me was also from Finland. Wooooop!

Someone asked if the band is gonna do festivals, and Reni listed some upcoming dates. I don´t know why people don´t GO ONLINE to find out this stuff, but... 🤷

The crew also mentioned they have days off on occasion, Helsinki was mentioned as one of their days off, which kinda maybe means that the band will be arriving tomorrow and hanging for a whole day before the gig on Wednesday... Uuuuuuh!

Then all of a sudden...

DOORS FLUNG OPEN AND ANGELS SANG PRAISES! 🎺

Well no, it was just echies screaming and clapping. 🙏

JL and SL sneaked in from the stage area and the masses of course went bananas.

I still sat in silence and watched. 👀

The bros had a table and chairs, but never sat down. Instead they stood and placed one foot ON THE CHAIR, as all civilized peeps do.

JL asked if anyone was at the previous gig, and mentioned that it has been a really small show, but this one would be the smallest (arena holds max 3500 people). Last night apparently was “INCREDIBLE”, one of the better shows on the tour.

For some reason (pffft...) he spotted some German chicks who I guess were twins or smthg, I wasn´t really paying attention. Anyway, he mentioned “We always need more twins in our lives”.

Echies naturally giggled because OMGGGGGGGG HILAAAARIOUS, and JL went on to explain that “Hey our grandfather had a twin”.

SL quipped that maybe he or JL will have twins, and JL mentioned that he and JR argued about the twin gene skipping a generation or smthg like that. 🙄🙄

Then he spotted some chick in the front row who had big muscles (no she did not btw) and asked her if she´s a trainer or smthg. JL mentioned that he just recently started working out again so he keeps looking at muscles.

Uh huh. 🙄🙄🙄

On/off SL gave looks around the room, and I got some too. He did not smile, not even a crack. Meh.

THEN IT WAS FINALLY Q AND A TIME!!! 🙏 😈

Some dude asked how hard it is to get a workout on the road.

SL said the recovery is the most challenging part. I guess he meant recovery from the shows.

JL says the 2 hours on stage are the hardest, and then the rest of the time should be spent by doing nothing.

That last part might be more familiar to some in the band than others... 🤔

Some woman from Ohio, USA was picked and I guess she yammered on about herself a bit too long because JL interrupted her speech with a very stern “QUESTION!” (we all know that tone... Hihi!), and she asked if there were any “Aha!” moments when making the album.

I suppose she did not mean “Aha! We totes should wrap this whole shit in Americana even tho it has fuck all to do with it!”...

SL said the 1st thing that comes to mind is “Rescue Me”. Apparently they´ve had that song for 10 years and have had people help them work on it (WHOOOO?!), and the last person they worked on it with caused them to have an “Aha!” moment when they realized they were actually going to finish it.

I´m sure we all share that amazement...

JL said he remembered sitting down during TIW in his home in Fredonia (his old home) with a synthesizer and the verse and the chorus are still the same. Lyrics have changed. The chorus used to just be “Rescue me, rescue me” without anything else, and 5 years later he was sitting on a plane and the current chorus started forming in his head. The song used to have a “pre-chorus” too. “He said” or “She said” (I could not make out which, or maybe both) before the main chorus.

He said the lesson in that is to never give up because you never know what can happen. Sometimes songs happen quickly, like “A Modern Myth” which he said he wrote in 5 minutes, and SL wrote “Remedy” fairly quickly. Finishing songs usually takes him longer than coming up with a song.

Next guy asked about creative differences between Album 1 and Album 5.

JL said you can still hear the same band on both albums.

(GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BAND MEMBERS, MAYBE... 🙄)

He listed all the elements the new album features. He said he thinks a song like “Echelon” could totally be on the new album.

Next up a woman who said she was studying to be in the music business asked what she could do to make sure no other artist has to deal with what Mars had to deal with (lawsuit etc.).

JL´s advise: Don´t sign a record deal unless you absolutely have to. Spread your music via social media and other platforms.

(I know he was talking about EMI specifically, but I could not help thinking there might have been some Interscope crumbs in there too...)

The woman clarified that she meant more from the music label/business side and not the artist side. Jl responded “Go work for Spotify”. He went on to say that record companies and people can be great too, but the deals are the problem. They should be transparent and available online. It´s the last kind of “gangsta business” where you can really take advantage of people.

Some dude mentioned that he saw Mars 11 years ago when they opened for Linkin Park in Europe. JL remembered that tour, SL did not.

I guess he asked what it feels like to go from there to here (I wasn´t really listening because meeeeeh), and SL tried to come up with smthg intellectual and deep but it just sounded so ridiculously pathetic it´s not even worth mentioning. Smthg about just living and maturing and evolving as human beings. 💤

He also said they are really fortunate to still be together as a band (*SNORT*) because lots of bands from back then don´t exist anymore.

JL said this feels like a new and fresh chapter. Like his inner child. Like a reboot. Like they just got a facelift (HOLD YOUR LAUGHS, PLEASE). The new songs live are apparently “pretty INCREDIBLE”.

“I know some people are like “Where´s the guitar?” and “Where the heavy music?” but I think it´s still pure 30 StM.”

He also called the new album very dark and “lyrically on point”.

His point might be somewhere waaaaaay off the playing field tho, but...

Some chick with pink hair was up next and JL said he was gonna dye his hair pink but now he can´t.

SL said dyeing wrecks your hair and JL said his hair can´t take another bleaching.

And yes, you guessed it, folks. Fangirl giggles and swoons galore!

Her actual question was about Mars music feeling ancient or smthg, again I was totally not even paying attention because I DON´T CAAAAARE. Sorry but these questions were fucking USELESS. 👎

Anyway, SL blabbered on about them being from an “old place”. JL said everyone has missed the point that they made the album by using modern American sounds like Hip Hop and Pop etc. and that WoW is a giant political FUCK YOU.

Except not too long ago he gave that interview to a Finnish journo and specifically banned political questions, but okay... 👌

He said it´s exciting to see people from different countries singing that song with so much passion that sometimes he almost feels like they need to escape through the back door (he was kidding).

Next that same guy who sang during the pre-M&G stood up and congratulated the band on the new album. JL in return congratulated the guy on his hair (= a poofed up semi-mullet kinda thing) and they chatted a bit about his hair. Soooo riveting... 😫

The dude said one of his fave songs is “Convergence” and he asked about spirituality or smthg. Again, not interested...

JL said the last album was only 7 songs and the rest were fillers (well he didn´t say fillers but I´m saying it), and this new one is 11 songs and only 1 filler.

While JL was still yammering on his response to the mullet dude, I made my move and raised my hand HIIIIIGH - and when he finally finished his looooong sermon JL turned my way and...

Oh uh! It's Go time! 😱

⚠️ Little background info first! ⚠️

I obviously had thought of a few questions before coming to the M&G, just to prepare for the off-chance an opportunity might present itself. My options ranged from "Why did you call us Screaming Fat Girls?" to "Why did I have to pay 400 for this when 20 yo models get it for free?" and beyond. Yes I even toyed with the idea of sneakily slipping VK into the mix... 🙃

But sitting there as the M&G went on and listening to the other questions and studying the room's vibe, I started feeling my questions were all... wrong. They started feeling like I would just be purposely asking for trouble and causing a stink and potentially ruining the event, which was not my intention at all.

I started feeling like I needed to ask smthg current, smthg that has relevance in this day and age, smthg that hopefully gave us some answers to the questions we have been pondering about on the blog, smthg that would make you peeps proud, smthg that would not be a waste of a question - and yes, smthg that maybe poked a little hole into his massive ego at the same time! 🤔

So with all that criteria in mind, I went into battle...

Me: "Hi, speaking of the album, have you read or heard the reviews? Because some of them were... not very kind...?

JL: "This newest album?"

(NO DUMMY I WANNA KNOW IF YOU READ THE REVIEWS FOR THE ALBUM YOU RELEASED IN 2002!!! 🙄🤦‍♀️)

Me: "Yeah."

JL, staring right at me, with the snarkiest and bitchiest voice and most passivest aggressivest demeanor:

"Well thanks for bringing that up."

😱😱😱

His reaction both in words and in vibe (and the reaction from the room aka loud gasps, few hisses and cheers after he "lashed out" at me) was worth all the money I paid for that M&G, I don't even mind telling you!

SL also chimed in with “Yeah, thanks for bringing that up” but at that moment I was so focused on JL´s face that I completely ignored SL´s whining and existence - not to mention that every single molecule inside me screamed “HALLELUJAAAAAAAAH!”

So yeah basically I just sat there going...

While he stared at me throughout that little exchange, he most def could sense the snark in my question, and I most def could sense the snark in his reply. Naaaw... Just a couple of petty snarks sharing a moment... 🤣🙊😍

#BucketList ✔

I guess that is what an orgasm of the mind feels like. ☺

And btw...

"Thanks for bringing that up"?

Honey, with the amount of shit we have on you, you should be very #Grateful I only brought THAT up! 🤨

Anyway, the room kinda “erupted” with little gasps and hollers and whatnot, and after that initial "explosion" SL took over and started "grilling me" about my choice of question.

"That's your question? You wanna know if we read and what´s our response to the bad reviews?"

I replied “Yeah, I wanna know”.

SL said he had not read any.

Okay, but... Why did you just jump on my throat about that topic then...?

He continued that everyone has opinions and tastes and attitudes and personalities and colors (???) and stuff... He said he can´t pay attention to it, he can only focus on what he did and the band did, and he feels great about it. He said he is secure in himself and his “bro”, as he called JL.

Then JL took over and in a very explanatory manner (calm voice this time) said that these days everyone is a critic. He said on social media any person´s opinion is as important as a reviewer´s. He also said he thinks a lot of the criticism revolves around the “Where is the rock?” argument, and that they are probably right.

“It´s not a rock album.”

Followed by a LOOOOONG silence.

A silence which was only interrupted by SL going “Well, there you go!” in a triumphant manner. Echies of course applauded, and then suddenly JL picked up again:

“Don´t be fooled, we knew EXACTLY what we were doing. But let me just tell you something: we have NEVER gotten good reviews. Even when we made rock albums. So... Nothing really changes...”

At this point it again felt like he was getting ready to move on, but NO! He still kept going!

“I have a feeling lot of it has to do with me...”

That Gustavo dude piped up with “Jealousy...”, but JL ignored that comment and continued:

“It just has to do with me being in the band... I don´t think people wanna let that slide...”

SL commented “Fucking weird...” and then after a short silence went “Great” in the most “NON GREAT” way imaginable. Kinda like when you spill juice all over yourself and go “Great”.

So with that “NON GREAT” “GREAT”, this topic was now finished and my time in the spotlight was over.

I will point out that while pretty much everyone who asked a question before me got a “Thanks for the question” comment, I did not...

😭😭😭

BEFORE WE MOVE ON - QUICK ANALYSIS ON MY Q AND HIS A:

I think what we learned here are 3 things:

1. Poor SL really thinks he contributed to this album and has reason to be proud. 🤷‍♀️

2. JL is indeed VERY aware of the bad reviews and backlash his latest offering brought him. 😭

3. JL is also aware of the "bad rep" he has. Not just for the "Oh he's an actor trying to be a singer" thing which he has battled since Day 1 (which I'm sure he was mostly alluding to), but also that currently (= after SS) he gets ridiculed and judged on a whole new level.

I mean, the way he almost dragged the topic on and felt like he had to add “just one more thing”... Kinda felt like he was trying to convince not just us but himself as well... 🤨

Anyway, feel free to send feedback and thoughts on this! Did I do good?! 😜

Okay back to the M&G!

The next person asked what would they say to their younger selves.

JL wouldn’t wanna say anything because “We’re in a pretty good place right now in life and career… I guess I’d say "Take a deep breath… It’s gonna be alright. Don’t pay attention to the reviews.”“

Ooooooh... Still feeling butt-hurt from the previous Q, are we… ? 😏🤭

The next Q was asked with such a heavy-accented English I had NO IDEA what he asked, but apparently JL did because he managed an answer. It was smthg about the Mars symbols (the triad). 🤷🏼‍♀️

The next chick started off my saying "I just wanna say I love you and adore you” and I almost yelped out “MR. KAUFMAN IS ALREADY TAKEN!” but managed to keep my emotions in check.

Her question was a pretty good one: “Why did you come up with the name "Monolith” for the tour", she said she (like all of us!) did not get it.

JL said the name comes from the giant screen on stage and the giant box thing as well, which of course for this tour they could not fit through the doors.

Next question was “Why did you call the album "America” when it talks about universal issues?“

JL: "I think the idea of America is universal (FUCK OFF ALREADY DICK IT SO IS NOT) and everyone has an opinion (WANNA KNOW MINE?) and the songs are universal. I think what’s going on in our country is probably going on in other countries. I don’t think we’re the only country thinking about things like immigration, the right and the left, what kind of a world we want to live in, what kind of a future we want. I just thought it was an interesting time and an interesting word. It really isn’t political title, it’s more of a concept (🙄🙄🙄), that’s why I liked all the lists that we came up with because they were so bizarre and funny and provocative. They do give you a sense of the time we’re living in.”

He went on to say that in 100 years people will be able to look at them and go “Oh, that was that crazy group if people that was alive between this time and that time and that fucking guy was president in America!”

Oh my! Look who’s getting all feisty again! Dare you to say that publicly tho!

During this question the noise from the soundcheck taking place in the next room went up a few notches and Stevie´s high-pitched screams almost overpowered the Letos... They made some jokes about SA´s screams. 😂

And of course he kept with the “The name “America” inspired the film that we made that´s coming out later this year, the trip across the country... Did anybody follow it on social media? (I MAY HAVE...) The Museum of America in LA and many other things that we´ve done. I dunno, I just thought it was an interesting container.”

In relation to the previous question, JL also mentioned that he had an alternative title for "America" which he admitted (?) he sometimes thinks he should have used:

“ERA”.

As in this era we are now living in.

YOU GOD DAMN DILL!!!!! THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN 40 GAZILLION TIMES BETTER THAN "AMERICA"!!!!!

🤬🤬🤬

I seriously almost screamed out loud when he said that... I can't even deal with him! 😠

He said that title would have been “a little more global but a little more boring”.

NO, DILL! YOU AND YOUR BEDWARMERS ARE GLOBAL AND BORING! THAT TITLE WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT!

😠

The last question came from a woman next to me (fellow Finn btw! 😃🇫🇮) who told us that she's a teacher and she asked what inspires them etc.

JL said that “sometimes I´m not inspired” (REALLY? Never would have guessed...) and that “at that point you just have to rely on muscle memory and to just put one foot in front of the other and keep marching forward... Someone asks a question you don´t like (WHO?! WHO ASKED A QUESTION YOU DID NOT LIKE?! 🙊), you deal with it... You have to do some part of your job that´s tedious (like... the actual working part?), you push past it... I think a lot of times it´s just showing up... You can surprise yourself. You start a conversation, you start a concert, and before you know it you´re lost in the concert and you´re enjoying your time.”

SL said what helps is “getting rid of the fucking trash in the head. If I feel distracted or there´s a lot of stuff going on in my head that doesn´t have anything to do with what I wanna do, I have to get rid of it. Meditation helps, hanging out with cool people (LOOOOOOOOL), yoga, taking a walk...”

And that was it! Show over! JL thanked us for coming and then...

Picture time! 📷

We lined up in the hallway and practically RAN through the stage they had set up for the pic.

Seriously it was RIDICULOUS! Felt even faster and more North Korean than in Getafe! We all legit had no more than 2 seconds to pose and then we were pushed out! 😑

Total bs. No other way to put it. Treated like actual cattle. 🐄

Anyway, I had a plan ready again and as I stepped up to SL who kinda "yanked me" between him and JL (not in a bad way but just kinda like "let's just get this over with FAST"), I said to them:

"Okay guys, let's smile like I'm a model."

🤭🤭🤭

Now, I don't know if they heard me or bothered listening (or in "someone's" case even understood what I was hinting at), but it def made me feel giggly... 😜

Anyway, end result is this:

I think JL may have gotten what I was implying, or perhaps he was still salty about my earlier question, but he def pushed my back to get me to leave the area after the pic. 🤷🏼‍♀️👉🚪

Altho he probs does that to everyone, especially those who are not 20-smthg Russian models, but… Oh well. Kinda made me smirk even more! 🤣

Or perhaps it was my shirt which ruffled his feathers? 🤔

Wanna see a close-up?

BOOM.

Tell you this much: online T-shirt printing businesses and 20€ sure provide a lot of satisfaction. 😏👕💳

And even tho I once again got only 20 Secs (Jfc… 😂), I still managed to sneak TM into my pic, sooo… 😎💁🏼‍♀️

More closeups:

Thanks GOD he looks more than decent in mine!

And c´mon now, Jarry. I think we all know you can go bigger than that.

Jaw seems to work a-ok...

And yes, I watermarked them because that´s how I roll, homies!

After the pics we were given our VIP merch: black beanie (not bad! I might actually wear that…), plastic badge (who the fuck needs these?!), a canvas tote bag (meh ok) and a signed poster.

TRY TELLING ME BOTH THOSE SIGNATURES ARE NOT FROM THE SAME DAMN ALMOST-WORN-OUT PEN… 😂😒🖋

We were also allowed to stay in the M&G room and check out the official merch stand (pffffft! Did not buy a fucking thing as everything looked so uggo).

This tho...

After about an hour of waiting, we were finally led into the actual concert area. As some of you saw from my IG posts, this was not a regular MonolOth tour gig, but more a club gig. The set was completely different, no monolOth anywhere, and stage was not in the middle of the room.

I noticed there was a balcony area too and I marched up to a security guy to ask if it was ok to go up. He said yeah but only 100 people are allowed up so I needed a special ticket, which he then handed me and told me I needed to give it back if/when I came down again so someone else could use my place up there. Very smart security move!

Being as tiny as I am and as claustrophobic as I am, I knew standing in a sea of people and not even seeing a fucking thing was not a viable option, so I chose to wander up to the balcony - and oh man, that was the best decision I could have made! I scored a prime spot right up front and had full “skyview” of the whole room! Lucky move also because without the balcony spot, that IG Live would have been quite difficult to pull off…😏😄

JR’s DJ set was about as useful as sledgehammer when washing windows, so there’s no need to even discuss it. Literally maybe 7 people actually listened and cheered him. 😴

At around 8:40 pm the lights FINALLY dimmed and the show started.

Now, seeing as I did an IG Live for the whole show which means I did not take any pics or clips (I´ll try posting some of the clips I saved from the IG Live a little later on tho), I’m going to utilize a few fellow concert goers offerings here for vibe and atmosphere reasons! 😉

And of course we can NEVER forget the true star of the night...

A post shared by Jared Leto ∆ Echelon page (@dy.jovi) on Apr 24, 2018 at 1:18am PDT

A post shared by Jared Leto ∆ Echelon page (@dy.jovi) on Apr 22, 2018 at 1:11pm PDT

NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES. OR SHIRTS. 🤣 🕺

As far as overall grade for the show goes…

Well, the people who came on my Live on/off and witnessed the gig with me can probably kinda agree that… eh… It wasn’t very awesomely great. 😣

The stage looked stupid with just SL’s drums, SA was once again shoved to the side where we could barely see him (but could hear him plenty!), the sound overall was kinda off (or maybe it was because of my location, but the drums sounded REALLY loud at times, almost drowned out rest of the instruments. Altho… what instruments? 🤔)…

But the biggest problem of all: Jared’s voice.

It’s fucking DESTROYED, guys. GONE.

Yes on some songs he sounded ok, even quite good on occasion. But overall, he cannot do a full show like a proper rock singer should.

And true to form, he skipped out on a lot of the lyrics (either he let SA sing, or the audience had to sing), and when he did sing (“sing”) he sounded BAD. Multiple times extremely off key and basically just shouted/screamed his way through the songs. There is no way on earth that anyone with ears could claim he sounded good!

Sheep would try no doubt, but lemme tell ya: Lies! Lies, lies, lies!

I think the only song which sounded at least half decent was “Stay”. It’s not a very challenging song anyway, so that one he still manages ok. Everything else… uh. 🙉

youtube

But it is what it is, I guess... Can´t turn back the clock and undo years of damage!

And that yelling is not helping what little he has left...

youtube

I did enjoy JL calling me and my fellow upstairs residents “BALCONY MONKEY MOTHERFUCKERS” tho. 🐒

Been called worse before! HA! 😂

Overall I would say that had I not had the IG Live peeps keeping me company throughout the show, I would have been majorly bored. There really was nothing even remotely interesting happening on stage (not counting Naked Dancing Dude!), and traveling across an actual ocean just for that show...

Not really worth it, gotta say.

If someone asks me if I would recommend buying a ticket, I would have to say no - based on the actual show, I mean. it just really does not offer any great “WOW” moments.

But on a personal level and by taking into account the WHOLE experience, counting the entire weekend etc., I will rank this as one of my better vacays for sure! And a big part of that is thanks to ALL YOU who joined and shared it with me, so THANK YOU! 💗

Report over and out!

#30 Seconds To Mars #sweden #yeehaw #jared leto #shannon leto #duo #i like bringing things up #you should know that by now

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