#I should reread the bad tiger books just so that I can feel something

[displayheartcode]

All @longsightmyth does is torment me with reminders about bad paranormal romances that were published in 2011

[cricketnationrise]

Books I read in quarantine: Part 1

So on Friday, March 13, 2020 something not that chill happened. We all know what that was. Anyway for me the silver lining was that I got a lot of my TBR knocked out by not being at work. I read over 150 books from mid-march to mid-october.

1. We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: yes, it had been on my list for a while, yes it was awesome, yes, its still worth the read

2. Dragonquest by Anne McCaffrey: eh. listen. she’s one of the most prominent women in fantasy/sci-fi writing and that’s great. and maybe some the later books aren’t quite such a product of their time. but there are some aspects to the dragon “bonding” that feel especially uncomfortable and there’s a lot of violence toward women. so.

3. Briar’s Book by Tamora Pierce: I was in the midst of a Circle of Magic reread. Unfortunately for me, this one is about a plague. It’s still one of the best CoM books and I enjoy it immensely. Its definitely going to be harder to read from now on

4. The Tiger’s Daughter by K. Arsenault Rivera: loved this. empress and ruler of the steppes as lesbians that also battle demons? i needed a family tree, but that’s normal for me. still need to get to the next one in this series.

5. Fablehaven by Brandon Mull:  middle grade fantasy novel. i hesitate to say lighthearted because there are definitely some heavy themes, but all the fantasy creatures you encounter are cool AF and this one at least doesn’t end on a cliffhanger.

6. Magic Steps by Tamora Pierce: less strong than some of the others in the Emelan series, but has some cool worldbuilding that got better fleshed out in the Beka Cooper Tortall books. featuring UNMAGIC. v dark. also dance magic. and romance between two older characters

7. The Bookshop on the Corner by Jenny Colgan: delightful romance, not super explicit, very wish fulfillment if your wish is to run away from your life in london and live off the proceeds of a mobile bookstore in a tiny town. which. is not unappealing.

8. Street Magic by Tamora Pierce: features 9 cats, street urchins, and a VERY TERRIFYING wealthy widow straight up murdering kids for fun and games, stone magic

9. Scythe by Neal Shusterman: okay so take our world and then solve all physical ailments and have everything run by the cloud. except that death is still a thing but only if you are picked by a Scythe. first book in a trilogy. fast paced, amazing, violent (someone gets their head cut off), standard dystopia stuff. you’ll want to have the next two books ON YOUR SHELF

10. Wink Poppy Midnight by April Genevieve Tucholke: there is definitely someone out there who will like this more than me. one of them is my roommate. it was just too dark of a friendship/enemyship for me. lots of unreliable narrators. and like, they were just kind of horrible to each other? the actual plot was kinda cool and i definitely would have liked it more if it ended lighter

11. The Word for World is Forest by Ursula K. LeGuin: a giant of fantasy and science fiction. this was my first of her sci-fi stuff and the first of the hainish cycle that i’ve read. quick read. definitely makes you think.

12. The Haunting of Tram Car 015 by P. Djèlí Clark: number two in a series, but i didn’t know that going in. absolutely going to read the others. a cairo where all sorts of spirits and demons exist and actively interact with the “normal” world.

13. The Girl Who Reads on the Métro by Christine Féret-Fleury: i’ve never been to france but this feels VERY french. magical realism about bringing the right book to the perfect reader. super cute.

14. Fire Starter by P. Anastasia: first of a series. i wanted to like this better based on the magic system. romance felt forced. also it turned out to be aliens. which like, not a problem, but don’t spend 100 pages telling me its magic and then boom alien virus. maybe the others are better, but i’m not going to find out.

15. The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros: i had to read this in middle school and definitely didn’t appreciate it enough. highly recommended.

16. A Witch’s Guide to Escape: A Practical Compendium of Portal Fantasies by Alix E. Harrow: a fantastic short story about reading, libraries, magic and supporting teenagers who need it. you can read it online or as part of Apex Magazine Issue 105 from Feb 2018.

17. On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden: really long graphic novel about a found family in space trying to do a good job repairing various buildings and stuff. enough queer content for anybody really. gorgeous art.

18. Doughnut by Tom Holt: book 1 in the YouSpace series. very discworld-esq except that its our own world plus a pocket dimension that’s only accessible with a lot of math and a prayer. hilarious at times, but a decidedly darker tone than discworld so just be aware if that’s not what youre looking for

19. The Girl Who Could Move Sh*t with Her Mind by Jackson Ford: teenage girl in california has powers that let her move things with her mind. works as part of a government program with a whole band of misfits. she thought she was the only one and then someone else starts doing crime (TM) and murder with telekinesis and she has to stop them. found family toward the end. graphic violence toward the end. wildfires.

20. Ballad of the Whiskey Robber: A True Story of Bank Heists, Ice Hockey, Transylvanian Pelt Smuggling, Moonlighting Detectives, and Broken Hearts by Julian Rubinstein: what it says on the tin, basically. NONFICTION. this dude in europe had way too many day jobs that were actually crime and his story is WILD. last update i saw was that he was still alive, paroled from jail, and making pottery??

21. The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon: 800+ pages of epic eastern fantasy. some dragons. a witchy big bad. betrayal. queer romance as a main plotline. magic. seriously good.

22. Transcription by Kate Atkinson: flashback within a flashback within a flashback and reversing that path as you move through the book. woman just wants a secretary job during the war. somehow ends up as a spy??? i liked it, i keep meaning to get more of her books

23. Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire: first in the wayward children series. under 200 pages if you’re looking for a quick read. what happens to kids that have gone through a door, had an adventure, and then forced back into our world? they don’t quite fit. and when that happens they go to Eleanor West’s School. fantastic series that is still being added to (number 7 comes out next year). can be very dark/sinister at times. but theres a lot of queer representation and found family stuff to balance out.

24. Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire: book 2 in the wayward children series. focuses on Jack and Jill’s backstory of their time before book 1. they are from The Moors where a Vampire Lord and a Mad Scientist are battling against each other to keep the balance of the world with a village of innocents between them

25. Go Fish by Ian Rogers: short story published on Tor.com about a group of paranormal investigators. there’s a fish factory that no one will go in because it’s haunted and/or cursed and people have been dying from going in there

[seadramonster]

Thistleclaw Analysis

So a long time ago I made a post about this, but I decided to go back through and rewrite it since I reread through Bluestar’s Prophecy a while ago and have been thinking a bit more about it.

Before we get into this; the old claim that Bluestar chased Thistleclaw out of StarClan was later confirmed to be a joke. It isn’t, and likely never was, canon. I also think that Thistleclaw was a really good character who had his potential as a good villain wasted in canon and in a novella that wrecked the timeline and told us nothing we didn’t already know about him.

TLDR: Thistleclaw didn’t know his mate as well as people think, broke many, many codes, wanted to murder all of the other Clans and even kits, and was borderline abusive to his apprentice and own son. Even if Spottedleaf’s Heart never happened, he was still an evil cat. He should have been given a far more detailed death than what we were given, which was just a single sentence after a time skip.

So, Spottedleaf’s Heart happened. A lot of people don’t consider it canon and that’s fine. I don’t like it either. Unfortunately, until they decide to retcon it or say it isn’t, which they should, it still is technically canon in the series, even if it’s not canon to the fandom. The only thing I consider good about this novella is that it confirmed my theory that Thistleclaw chose to go to the Dark Forest.

Thistleclaw was the type who was so loyal to his own Clan, that he was willing to kill the others to keep it safe. When he was young, he watched his mother mourn over the loss of another Clanmate, one who had been a queen just the day before. A cat who had been killed in the battle with WindClan. I wonder if maybe that’s one of the reasons he turned out the way he did. That he didn’t want to see another Clanmate die in battle like that, but he, or perhaps even the Dark Forest, twisted him into thinking the only way to do that was to destroy the other Clans. He’s a good character and a good sympathetic villain.

And yet, ever since Bluestar’s Prophecy there’s been a little mini debate or war in the fandom of whether or not he’s truly a villain.

I think the reason for this is because that’s what we’re told by Bluestar, who is arguably an unreliable narrarator, and what we’re shown of Thistleclaw doesn’t give enough evidence for the latter, or people think his love for Snowfur negates anything bad he’s done. We’re not given enough of him being bloodthirsty, and we’re shown a lot of him with Snowfur, which led a lot of people to believe her death is what caused him to go evil.

It wasn’t. He loved her, but he did not know her as well as people think. A majority of what we see is her chasing after him, and I’m pretty sure there’s maybe only one or two lines, if any, of him liking her back before they become mates.

“Thistleclaw curled his lip. ‘He takes after his mother,’ he spat. 'There’s no fire in his belly, no hunger for battle.’ -Thistleclaw, Crookedstar’s Promise page 328 (hard cover version)

Fun fact! This is wrong. Out of the two sisters, Snowfur was the one who liked to fight the most. She was always getting excited and was eager to fight whenever a battle was announced. You know, the exact opposite of what Thistleclaw is claiming here. Thistleclaw, as her mate, should know this. And it makes me think that part of the reason he agreed to be her mate was because he knew it would piss off Bluestar. I do think he loved Snowfur, but there’s a small chance that only happened after he agreed to be her mate.

He also goes on to call StarClan “smug, toothless fools” in Crookedstar’s Promise. He knows Snowfur is in StarClan. Maybe he didn’t mean her specifically, but since he didn’t exclude her verbally, she’s still grouped into there as far as anyone else knows.

Thistleclaw was also talking about Whitestorm, his son, in that paragraph. Maybe he was just upset that Whitestorm wasn’t taking after him, but here’s the thing. Thistleclaw was forcing his son to train claws unsheathed with Tigerclaw, who it was implied he was an almost abusive mentor towards. It’s mentioned that Whitestorm was given a scar from one of these sessions, meaning, yeah. Whitestorm got hurt and Thistleclaw kept doing it regardless.

It should be noted that training claws unsheathed is strictly banned. Things could go seriously wrong. An apprentice might mess up and seriously injure or even kill another by accident. Wounds could get infected and the medicine cat would have to waste herbs treating injuries that shouldn’t have happened. It’s dangerous and irresponsible. A cat who forces apprentices to train claws unsheathed so often, should not have an apprentice or be anywhere near the training of them.

He also, you know. Told Tigerclaw to murder an innocent kittypet kit, and Tiger would have succeeded had Bluestar not stepped in and stopped it. He also attempted to murder Oakheart, who I’m pretty sure was RiverClan’s deputy at that point.

Goosefeather and Bluestar literally had a vision about Thistleclaw covered in blood. I feel like in this situation, people turn a blind eye to or outright forget the fact that Goosefeather can see a cat’s entire life by touching them. We didn’t know this back when this book was released, but we do now. Thistleclaw was evil and Goosefeather knew it. He knew the Clans would be stuck in war with ThunderClan until ThunderClan or the rest were destroyed if Thistleclaw ever became leader. That’s why he pushed Bluestar so hard to become deputy, practically forcing her to give up her kits.

Another thing I should point out is that we don’t get to see much of Thistleclaw on his own, since the books he’s appeared in have all been in the POV of other cats. We know he killed cats in the Dark Forest during his training there, which likely started when he was an apprentice. Who’s to say that he didn’t kill other cats out of sight of his Clanmates? Considering his bloodthirsty attitude and drive to “mark the borders in the blood of his enemies” as he claimed ThunderClan should do, it’s more likely than not that he killed cats off screen and we just never saw or heard of it.

He died fighting against a RiverClan patrol. It’s likely he could have killed or caused the death of at least one of those cats, and I doubt it would have been the first time he pulled something like that. It’s possible he was the one who started the fight as well, just so he could have an excuse to kill them.

He should have gone out with a bang, damit. Show us the battle where he died, dammit! Show us more of him trying to become deputy! So far in this series, we’ve only had one instance of a cat killing their deputy to take their place and that was in the first arc. Thistleclaw could have killed Bluestar’s first deputy to try and take that spot. Maybe he set up the RiverClan fight in hopes the second might have been killed, but it went terribly wrong and he was the one killed instead. Maybe he could have taken a life from Bluestar herself in the battle, thinking that if she lost her lives in a battle against RiverClan, he would be chosen to be deputy and it could lead to war against the other Clan. Maybe Crookedstar could have saved her, acknowledging how they had nearly become friends as apprentices, or even one of her now grown-up kits! Anything we got would have been better than a couple of short sentences thrown it at the end.

Thistleclaw was always a villain, but was never given the proper time and villain arc he deserved, and his reputation in the fandom suffered for it.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Ash I think the drabble we all need but didn’t know we needed is Danny and Nate each telling Dr. Rosa about their first time since Bram. (Pre bad arc)

CW: References to noncon/dubcon, therapeutic discussion of the aftermath of prolonged captivity/conditioning/noncon.

TIMELINE: Approximately two months prior to the beginning of the Bad Arc. 

Tagging the Danny crew because this got long and Danny is a delight dumbass in it: @finder-of-rings, @bleeding-demon-teeth, @spiffythespook, @burtlederp, @whumpywhumper, @18-toe-beans, @pumpkinthefangirl, @special-spicy-chicken, @whale-whumps, @swordkallya

Tagging the Danny crew: @finder-of-rings, @bleeding-demon-teeth, @spiffythespook, @burtlederp, @whumpywhumper, @18-toe-beans, @pumpkinthefangirl, @special-spicy-chicken, @whale-whumps, @swordkallya

“Nate, we are at forty-five minutes of our hour,” Dr. Rosa says patiently, leaning over with her arms resting lightly on her open notebook, reading glasses perched at the end of her nose. “There is something you came in here to tell me, and you have spent three-quarters of an hour telling me everything but that thing. What is it?”

Nate shrugs, swallowing hard. She’s right - he really has. He’s talked about Danny’s recent strides forward - but not the one he’s actually here to talk about - like how he walks by himself to the coffeeshop now, ran two miles the other day and came back sweaty and breathing hard but then he ate an entire meal’s worth of food all at once, and it was… it was normal.

He’s talked about his own halting steps - how he has fewer bad days, lately, they’ve finally found the right dosage to mostly even out the swings between feeling okay and feeling unable to move… and he feels more able to push down the inevitable wash of guilt if he sits still for too long. He even told her about how he took Ryan’s car by himself to the grocery store, and bought everything on Danny’s list, and he’s fairly certain no one looked at him twice.

But he hasn’t talked about the thing that he’s been thinking about since, oh, about nine-thirty Wednesday night.

“I, ah…” He swallows again, compulsively, leaning forward himself where he sits on the couch. “I. Um. Wh-what I came to… what I was th-thinking about-… ah.”

His face is burning red, and he tilts his head forward so at least some of his straight black hair can cover it. He rubs at the stubble along his jaw with one hand, closes his eyes, and forces the words out.

“Danny and I, um, h-had… we… sl-slept together. Wednesday n-n-night.”

There’s a pause.

“From your reluctance, may I gather that when you say you slept together, you are not referencing any type of restful unconsciousness?” Dr. Rosa asks, a lilt of teasing in her tone. Only when she jokes does her island accent start to slip back in, a hint of the Caribbean lacing her tongue. 

“Y-Yes I mean. I mean, n-no, I… yes. We, ah-”

“You had sexual intercourse with Daniel.”

“That… that s-s-sounds… so fucking clinical. It wasn’t l-like that.” Careful, and slow - probably the longest amount of foreplay he’d ever done, with constant check-ins and the edge of Danny’s nervousness twining in and around every motion and movement. But Danny had been the one to pull the condom from the side table, and Danny had been the one to hand him the little bottle, and Danny had been the one to say Please, I think I can tonight, I want to. 

Was that taking advantage? Was he taking advantage of how Bram had broken Danny for him? Is that all last night was? It had felt like more, it had felt… so right. 

“I know it wasn’t, Nate, but I am a professional and I don’t usually allow myself the use of, shall we say, colloquial phrasing with my patients. You know…” Dr. Rosa taps her fingers lightly on her notebook and then sits back, smiling. “If you don’t have anything else to do in the next hour, my 11 o’clock canceled and I’d be happy to stay with you and keep discussing this, since we ran so close to the end of our hour before it came up.”

Nate rubs his hand over his eyes. “I d-d-don’t even know if I want to, it just… I just feel like… it s-seems like… I w-worry.”

“Mmmn. What do you worry about?”

“I’m w-w-worried… I’m worried that he’s t-trying to heal faster th-than he really should… for m-me. And that I… t-took advantage of him.”

Dr. Rosa nods, her expression calm and compassionate but a touch solemn. “We’ve hit on this topic before, Nate - your feeling of guilt and responsibility for Daniel and your concern that he is fitting into a mold that your captor made for him rather than his own natural recovery and inclinations. That his role was meant as a kind of companion for you-”

“I mean, that w-w-was one thing,” Nate mutters, without looking up or lowering his hand from his eyes. “

“Was he consenting?”

“I… y-yes, of course.” Danny’s eyes, wide and clear, focused on his. Oh, fuck, please, Nate-… please, n-now, please, in… in me, please-

D-Don’t beg, please, D-Danny, you never have to beg for m-me…

Can I? If, if I want to?

“Was this consent informed and enthusiastic?”

Nate blinks, finally looking back up at her. She smiles at him, relaxing and serene. “Uh… y-yes. Yes. I… I think so, yes. I mean. As s-sure as I can b-be of it… h-he wasn’t… he wasn’t s-s-subtle…”

“What transpired to make you think you were taking advantage of him?” She doesn’t sound judgemental, more… curious. Still compassionate. He’s been coming to see her for most of a year, now, and she probably knows him better than anyone else alive but Danny.

“N-Nothing, I just… how do I know? He… seemed like-… I mean he sounded like he was having… a good time, I just-… How do I kn-know if it’s about me, or if he’s… just r-r-repeating patterns? Doing what I want h-him to do? If he’s doing this because he st-st-still thinks he b-belongs to me, like he did when w-we first came back from C-Canada?”

“Have you asked him?”

“I… don’t w-want to ruin the night for him, if he d-did… but… No. The answer is no. I haven’t asked h-him yet.”

“Perhaps you should try.”

***

Danny has been sitting in the waiting room tapping one foot, slouched in the hard-backed waiting room chair with his legs kicked out in front of him, beat-up old Converse and ancient blue jeans he’d found in a box in his closet, for twenty minutes maybe. The jeans don’t fit anymore unless he belts all the way to the final hole in the belt, but he’s done just that today.

His shoes, his pants, and one of his old band shirts. He feels like himself, as long as he doesn’t look at his scars. He’s brought Dracula with him, dog-eared already and with all the lines he likes best underlined in red ink. He’s rereading the part where Jonathan Harker climbs the castle wall all by himself, thinking about what a brave motherfucker it takes to do something like that, when the receptionist grins at him and tells him Dr. Rosa is ready.

Ryan, sitting next to him, nudges him with one elbow. “Go get ‘em, tiger. I want to flirt with the receptionist.”

“Of course you do.” Danny’s grinning even as he says it. He slaps the book closed, jumps up out of his seat, and heads down the hall with the shy smile already growing on his face. 

“Hello, Mr. Michaelson.” Dr. Rosa greets him at the door and sweeps her arm out. They start every session exactly the same way, comfortable, a routine Danny can trust. “Are we having a Danny day or a Red day?”

“Danny day, one hundred percent,” Danny says brightly, grinning as he drops onto the couch cushion with only the slightest hint of hesitation, only a moment’s glance at the floor where you belong but he didn’t belong there, absolutely not at all. Not after last Wednesday. 

“Wonderful.” Dr. Rosa smiles widely, then - she is as happy for his Danny days as he is. “So, last week we spent quite some time working through some concerns you had-”

“I have something else I want to talk about,” Danny says, pulling his feet up to sit cross-legged on the couch. “Can I, can I talk about something else?” His face begins to burn, a little, and he sees Dr. Rosa note his flush with a twinkle in her eye and an expression of genuine amusement. 

“Absolutely, Danny. You set the pace, in this room. If you need to perhaps have a change of topic, I know that last week went into some difficult spaces for you-”

“No, last week… helped. Last week was good. But, it’s not that-… I want to-… Um.” Danny grins at her, nearly hiding behind his own hands like a child playing hide-and-seek. “I’m going to just say it.”

Dr. Rosa sits calmly in her armchair and opens up her notebook. She seems to be trying, and failing, to hide a smile. “All right then.”

“Um, ah… Nate and I, um, slept together last week.”

Dr. Rosa sits slowly back, but she doesn’t look as surprised as he had expected her to. “We’ve discussed before that you and Mr. Vandrum have been sexually active since three months after your return-”

“Not… not, ugh, I hate that phrase, but… I mean we… we had actual sex. Well, I mean, it’s all sex, I guess. Uh. But I meant the kind I couldn’t… um.” Danny groans. “Please tell me I don’t have to, um, explain the… the logistics of gay guys having-”

“I am a lesbian, Daniel, not ignorant,” Dr. Rosa says with quiet affection, and Danny rewards her with a laugh - bright and sparkling, it’s a hint of the way he used to be. A drop in the nervous hunch of his shoulders. He flashes a wide smile at her, finally dropping his hands.

“Okay, f-fair… fair, um, fair enough. So, so we… so last Wednesday I was… ready. I think our talk on Tuesday really helped me, you know? We, when we talked a little bit about the stuff Abraham would say, afterward, about me, about my, um, my body, I just… I don’t know. It felt… less true, when I left, than it used to feel. And Wednesday night I was, I was brushing my teeth and I thought, um… I thought… I can have sex with Nate and he can’t stop me anymore. And that thought… it felt… it felt really good, Dr. Rosa.”

“You felt fully in control of your choices when it came to your sexual expression,” Dr. Rosa said softly, but she was still smiling. 

“Um… yeah, I just. Yeah.” Danny looks down at his hands, at the scarring tracing up his arms to disappear finally under his T-shirt sleeves. “I don’t… I don’t feel like my body belongs to me, very much. Because it was always his. He used to make me say it, over and over… and last Wednesday, I came out of the bathroom and got into bed with Nate and I just… I just felt like… like my body was mine. One hundred percent totally mine. And I could make my body do whatever I wanted.”

Dr. Rosa nods, waiting. 

There’s a pause before Danny speaks again, smiling shyly down at the floor. “What my body wanted was, um, to… to do that. With him.”

“Have you told him that?” Dr. Rosa asks, quietly, jotting something down on her notebook. Danny can’t quite see what it is, from here.

He frowns. “I… I guess I sort of thought, when I said I wanted to…”

“Communication is an important part of rebuilding relationships after long-term trauma, especially one that so deeply impacted your ability to communicate without feeling constrained and restricted in the first place.” Dr. Rosa was speaking carefully. “I often suggest reliance on a rule of communicating profusely with your partner during a time of rediscovery.”

Danny’s silent for a moment, taking that in, gnawing on his lower lip in thought. He rubs absently at the scar along his jaw, and Dr. Rosa’s eyes move there, but after a moment he drops his hands back into his lap. “So you… think I should tell him, about all the thoughts I had? In the bathroom, before we… um… did that?”

“I am not telling you what to do,” Dr. Rosa reassures him. “Only suggesting that more communication, in instances like this, may be better than leaving anything to inferences and implications.”

Danny nods quickly. “Okay, okay, okay. Um.” He sits slowly back against the couch. Then he grins at her, his face red but his eyes sparkling and bright. “What if I say we did, um, again on Saturday?” He pauses. “And then Monday? I mean, it was him… to me. I c-can’t, still can’t… you know. The other way.”

“Full recovery takes time. I would say I’m very glad that you feel safe, Danny,” Dr. Rosa says, with a soft, warm laugh. “That’s important. And I am delighted that you are taking ownership and agency over your body.”

Danny tilts his head. “Are… are you proud of me?” He asks, shyly. “For, for being able to… to want something, and ask for it, and then just… just, um-… just do what I want?”

She smiles at him, again, and writes another line in the notebook. “Daniel, you’re not here because you want me to be proud of you. That is not the purpose of therapy.”

“No, I know, but I just… I guess… I’m kind of proud of myself? So I wondered if… you know. I should be. I know it’s not… it’s not something to be proud of, normally, but I just…”

She considers, tapping her pen on the page, and then sighs, shaking her head with affectionate good humor. “What matters, Danny, is that you have taken pride in yourself. In something you’ve done. What matters is that you are in a place where you feel proud of yourself.”

He sits back, staring at her, thinking. Then, slowly, Daniel Michaelson’s smile brightens until it nearly fills the room.

“You’re right,” He says, sounding wonder-struck. “You’re right. I’m proud of myself. I wanted something, and I asked for it, and I got it and I had fun. I wasn’t scared. It was my body and it did what I wanted. And… and I’m proud of myself for it.”

“Good.” Dr. Rosa turns to pick up the mug of tea that is steeping on the table next to her armchair, sipping lightly. “Good. Danny, you have every right to take pride in this. I know it was embarrassing to tell me, but I want you to do something for me. Call it therapy homework.”

“Sure. What should I do? Another worksheet?”

“No. I want you to go home, from this appointment-… I assume your brother drove you today?” Danny nods. “Okay. When you go home, today, I want you to sit Nate down, and practice the open communication that we’ve been working on for the past months or so. I want you to tell him what you told me. Assuming you’re comfortable with that.”

“… that we had sex?” Danny blushes. “Uh. He knows.”

“No, Danny.” Dr. Rosa laughs again. “No. I want you to tell him that your body did what you wanted, and that you feel accomplished, in this. That you feel proud.”

She leans over to meet Danny’s eyes. 

“I want you to tell him that it was your body and it did what you wanted.”

“My name is Daniel Michaelson,” Danny murmurs. “And my body belongs to me.”

Dr. Rosa sits back, smiling. 

“Precisely.”

[notinthemaps]

Know before you go and what I’ve learned from traveling:

It’s not a race. I was always so bummed about the number of countries I’ve been to compared to other people my age until I understood that the number of places visited is not what traveling is about at all. It’s not important about how many places you’ve been but the depth you’ve explored them. I have been to some beautiful places all around the world that I am insanely grateful for and it’s incredibly toxic to compare my journey to others.

Traveling is an absolute privilege. Before you spew “everyone can travel, it can be done so cheap!” recognize where you come from. 

Before you book that trip to Haiti or Cambodia to “go build a school” or volunteer at an orphanage, research the hidden harm that is involved with your short term stay. Your good intentions can actually be causing harm within these communities. 

This also accounts for volunteering at animal and wildlife sanctuaries as well. You could unknowingly be volunteering at a place that secretly participated in “canned hunting”. So many sanctuaries have been accused of this in the past and I’m sure they’re still out there. Now, not all places are bad, just make sure your money and time are going towards something that will really help ethical animals and wildlife sanctuaries. This is where it’s important to do your research.

Clean. Get rid of shit. Simplify to the necessities. Pack light. The weight of your luggage is equally proportionate to your misery while traveling. I’ve learned this the hard way. 

You have the power to choose love. Always choose to love.

Stop the exploitation of animals as you travel. Meaning the Luwak cafes in Indonesia where you drink the coffee after the Luwak has digested the coffee beans. Stop swimming with dolphins, participating in lion walks, taking photos next to chained up tigers, riding elephants, camels, and donkeys/mules. These animals are most likely not taken care of very well. There have been times where I have been guilty of giving in to attending these places because they sound great (who doesn’t want a photo with a lion next to you?) but in hindsight, these attractions are most likely incredibly unethical and there’s a lot of physical/emotional harm that is involved with the training the animals.

Reduce your use of plastic abroad. 

Going alone is okay. If we all waited for someone to travel with us, we’d be waiting for a very, very long time. So, please go even if you have no one to go with. There are millions of people all over the world that are just waiting to meet you. Some of them you’ll meet in a hostel room and you’ll end up spending the night walking through the street markets, some of them you’ll meet at a bar and discover new corners of a city you didn’t know existed, some of them you’ll meet sitting on a bench at a bus stop and you’ll end up sharing the best coffee you’ve probably ever had, some of them you’ll meet watching the sunset on the beach and you’ll end up sharing stories and laughing with them until the morning and some of them will end up being your best friends. And sometimes you’re going to be alone and going on tours, to the movies, or to restaurants sounds scary to do by yourself at first but soon enough you’ll learn that it is completely okay to be alone. Solo does not mean lonely.

Don’t say you don’t like anything until you try it more than once.

Save your change.

One of the most reassuring things in this world is that you are never stuck anywhere. You are never unable to leave.

Don’t avoid taking care of your mental health when abroad. Traveling is exhausting and not always rainbows and butterflies. Your mind and body are still important. 

Write about your favorite moments, your least favorite moments, ideas, people you’ve met, strangers you’ve walked past on the street, favorite quotes, words to remember, what the sky looked like at 7pm, new songs you’ve discovered and what they mean to you, places you want to go or places you’ve been, write about your passions, how you feel in this exact moment, draw out the mountains, scribble all over the pages. And when that one gets full, buy a new one. Reread it in 2 years, 20 years, when you need a good laugh, when you’re upset and can’t get out of bed, read it to your children. You need to remember these moments in your life. They are so important.

Spend less time on social media. It’s no secret that social media is addictive and it’s really good at taking away precious moments. It’s important to not be glued to your phone or laptop while abroad. Social media will always be there for you when you get home.

Traveling is overly romanticized. It is very hard work. It does not solve all the problems that you have at home. And traveling is not what it looks like on Instagram. Please don’t feel bad because your experience doesn’t feel the way that it looks like it should on Instagram. 

When you’re eating, really taste your food. Talk to the locals. Immerse yourself fully into this new culture. When you’re out hiking, let go of your phone. This is how you’re going to get the best experience possible. Live in the moment. 

Take photos. It is physically impossible to remember all these moments in your life. Someday down the road, maybe when you’re feeling a little depressed or bored, you can grab your camera and scroll through these photos that’ll remind you of some of the best times of your life. Ask permission before you take a photo of someone. Ask permission to post it on social media (if these are your intentions) and let them know 1,000s of people will have access or will be seeing these photos. Remember: kids can never consent. Just don’t take photos in orphanages or schools. It’s really important to be respectful. People are not props.

Usually, no one wants to hear more than a few sentences about your trip when you come home other than your mom. And the references you make months after your trip, “when I was in...” will sometimes result in an eye roll. Shake it off. I know it can be hurtful but it’s best to just keep it to a minimum for your own sanity. 

It’s okay to look like a tourist. Visit the big touristy places and take your picture pushing against the Leaning Tower of Pisa. You’re not better than every other traveler just because you skipped the popular areas. 

Learn the basics of the language before you go. “where’s the bathroom? how are you? what's your name? My name is..” Always remember it’s your fault for not learning the language of the country you're in, it’s never anyone else's fault for not knowing English. Keep the language barrier frustration to a minimum. Hand gestures, a smile, and patience can go a long way!

You’ll probably get sick at some point. Be prepared for it with a little first aid kit! It’s always a good idea to have insurance. 

It’s important to not judge the way in which other people travel. I’ve met people who have planned their travel to the point where they do not participate in any tourist activities and live off one meal a day and then I’ve met people who pay for every excursion in every city they go to. And I find my initial thoughts to be “...but why?” and I eventually snap out of it and realize it’s not my place to judge how people travel. Everyone experiences places in their own unique, meaningful way. And I mean who really cares if someone is traveling the world full time on mom and dad's money? It doesn’t affect you. 

Cheesy souvenirs are never worth it. Collect sea glass, your train tickets, plane tickets, maps, stickers, and coins. Chances are those Colosseum magnets you bought in Rome were really made in China. Support the locals if you’re going to buy souvenirs.

Slow down.

Google the tipping etiquette within the country you’re visiting before you go. Some places it’s rude, some places it’s the only income someone has. Don’t be the person who “didn’t know” when the information is a 5-second google away. 

Jetlag freaking sucks but it happens to all of us.

Be prepared to be uncomfortable and be open-minded. You’ll probably wash your clothes in a bucket or sink, sleep in dirty beds or on airport floors, be forced to eat with your hands even though you’ve never done it or go without toilet paper for weeks at a time! It’s all apart of the journey. 

The world is not as bad and scary as the news makes it out to be.

Nothing will ever go as you expect it to. Plans go out the door. I learned this the hard way. In fact, I am sure every traveler has learned this the hard way. You’ll miss flights, you’ll get flat tires on road trips, you’ll end up spending a lot more money than you expected, you’ll miss buses, you’ll have to run to trains to get to them on time, I promise you’ll have a dead battery when all you want to do is call mom to make you feel better, the hostel you wanted will be full, your dumb airline will lose all your luggage, things will get canceled and you’ll spend many unexpected nights crying but despite all the struggles that traveling brings upon us, it is always worth it. The tears, sore shoulders and blistered feet are always worth it. There’s no point in getting mad that your plan fell through.

We are all going to make mistakes as travelers. We have to become better researchers and better listeners. Ignoring the requests of locals or the cultural differences is absolute ignorance and another example of flaunting your privilege. Just because you are a tourist and contributing to the economy of other countries does not mean it’s okay to be disrespectful and act as you please. However, we’re going to make mistakes and it’s important to not beat yourself up over it. What’s important is how we respond. Don’t be scared to ask questions. 

[hellreads]

I would really like if you could recommend me any stories with infidelity?

hi there anon, now this is one of the genres/au I enjoy reading, I do not condone cheating/infidelity in any way but there’s this pull you know, I want to get into people’s minds so I read and enjoy (also fucking hurt too srsly a lot of these fics make me bawl right it’s not in past tense because I reread a lot of the stories in here like an affected beech) stories like these, why do they do it? how do they sleep? (actually listening to sam smith’s how do you sleep as I consolidate this list) what triggered them to fall for another soul was it because of love or just plain old lust, as someone who’s been cheated on I know how it feels to be on the receiving end and it sucks the trauma stays with you, you’ll find it hard to trust, you’ll always question yourself, self-esteem will be fucking dippin’ low, in your eyes you’re pitiful and not worthy of being loved especially if you’ve been so fucking loyal like a dog, but a part of me wants to understand because I’m not perfect…

I wanna get in their heads and know how they manage to break a heart that loves them, I guess love will never be enough to keep someone no matter how much love you pour onto them, some love stories are meant to end as tragic as possible to teach us lessons and make our hearts stronger until we find the other half that will make it whole.

this will be a list with different categories, I’ll probably be tagging again the fics I tagged in previous infidelity lists I made because I want this to be the big list, the one I’ll probably update from time to time, the one I’ll keep coming back to when I wanna hurt and leave my tear ducts high and dry, let’s get it! 

P.S: proceed with caution as I have listed taboo & dark themed ones here so pick your poison babes! 🖤

Exhibit A: The One Where You Cheat Together (mutual cheating, both in a relationship (or the other may be single) but still chose to cheat on respective partner/s)

❥ Right of Way by fringesofsanity➴ Infidelity/Lovers!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ In theory, things were simple: your best friend was Jungkook’s girlfriend while your boyfriend, Jimin, was Jungkook’s best friend. In reality, things weren’t always that simple. And mutually exclusive.

❥ Bad Guy by @sweetbunnykook​➴ Mob/Married!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Hoseok x Yoongi | Series➴ After a brutal attack in Hong Kong, your marriage with Kim Seokjin cracks as secrets begin to surface and a series of betrayals find their way into the veins of the Hidden Tigers. Although Jin’s devotion endures, in his own definition, the reality of being a mob wife may be too much for you to bear.

❥ 2U by @milkyyjmn  ➴ Surrogate!AU | Jungkook x Reader x OC | Series➴ You were simply trying to make a living and give the opportunity of having children for the women who couldn’t. You meet a couple who plans to have a steady life — you being the last puzzle piece for it all. But you acknowledge the boyfriend, Jungkook, who questions if he actually wants it.

❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax ➴ Assassin!AU | Taehyung x Named OC x Jungkook | Series➴ As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know.

❥ My Way @ellieljade➴ Infidelity!AU | Jungkook x Reader x OC | Series➴ Jungkook doesn’t appreciate your boyfriend’s insistence that he stops sleeping with you and he knows just how to prove that you like it his way.

❥ Wildest Moments by @joonbird➴ Infidelity/Producer!AU | Yoongi x Reader | Series➴ “Min Yoongi is forbidden territory. And although you both know better, the two of you just can’t seem to stay apart.”

❥ House of Cards by @aiimaginesbts ➴ Exes/Roommates!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ A love from high school days lasted until marriage. Just not yours. 

❥ Infidelity by @jungk0oksthighs➴ Exes/Parents!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You and Jin had been divorced for a year but you’re forced to see each other when your son is found cheating on a test. After being called into school you both agree to make more of an effort being civil with each other, but it’s not long before history repeats itself. Family dinners turn into stolen kisses and ruffled bed sheets, but there’s one problem with your new arrangement. Jin’s wife. 

❥ Should We Go Downtown by @honeyedhoseok ➴ BFF/FWB!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Hongbin (VIXX) | One-Shot➴ Taehyung has watched you struggle in your relationship with your boyfriend for a while, always being your shoulder to cry on. He’s learned the best trick to pick you up when you’re down–besides his sensation of his mouth on yours–is a trip downtown to the riverfront at nighttime, so you can see the boats coming in on the harbor while he tries to piece back together the girl he absolutely hates to see sad.

Exhibit B: The One Where They Cheat on You 

❥ Only You by @sweetbunnykook➴ Yandere!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Namjoon x Seokjin | Series➴ Jeon Jungkook, your wedding photographer, helps you escape on your big day upon learning about a secret your groom-to-be kept hidden. You soon fall for this young, passionate photographer. However, you underestimated just how much he was willing to reciprocate that love. Maybe, you think, he’s loving you just a little too much.

❥ Slight Changes by @chiminiemoans➴ Infidelity/Idol!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ Taehyung gets caught. 

❥ My Cheating Amnesic Fiancé | One / Two by wrienne ➴ Idol/Arranged Marriage!AU | Jungkook x Reader x OC |  Series➴ BOOK ONE: In which you (reader) and Jeon Jungkook are engaged due to an arrangement made by both of your parents. Though neither of you especially like each other, you never thought you would find yourself in a relationship with a cheater. To top that off, destiny decides to make an entrance (in the form of a hard hit to a pretty skull) and Jungkook suffers amnesia, which only you seem to be able to handle. What will happen? Will you stay with him and help him through his predicament even though he loves someone else? Or should you simply let him go?➴  BOOK TWO: In which you (reader) and Jeon Jungkook are engaged due to an arrangement made by both of your parents. Or well, used to be. After finally resolving Jungkook’s amnesia and your complicated relationship, one would think that everything was fine. But destiny isn’t done messing with your life yet. Due to an incident where you confronted Jungkook’s brother and your current fiancé about some lies that he had made, you found out about a horrible part of his life that you now feel obligated to help him with. But in order to do that, you cannot tell him about you and Jungkook. Additionally, Jungkook isn’t done keeping secrets away from you - secrets that might destroy your already uncertain relationship permanently. Furthermore, your father’s weak health is a constant worry on your mind, and as news outlets dig out more about your late grandfather’s company’s involvement with the former president, nothing in your already chaotic life will be stable for a long time. Will your relationship with Jungkook make it through all the hurdles and hindrances that destiny sets before you? Or are you two really not meant to be?

Exhibit C: The One Where You Cheat on Them (the other party is clueless (mostly) about the affair)

❥ Who Cares by @floralseokjin➴ Infidelity/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Named OC x Seokjin | Series➴ What happens when Taehyung falls for someone who’s already taken? Can he control his feelings or will they take over and render him powerless? In the end is it all her fault or his…? 

❥ Comfort Inn Ending by @joonbird ➴ Idol!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ “It was you who Jungkook gave his heart to- that is until the day you broke it. And it is you now, hoping that some faultlines can be repaired and that some broken hearts can be put back together again.”

❥ Cheating by @jhspetitegf➴ Infidelity/Married!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | One-Shot➴ When you were sixteen, you had a life-plan. While all your other friends had been enjoying their youth; going on innocent dates to bowling alleys or spending Friday nights finishing their calculus homework, you had been setting a path for yourself, one you were determined to follow. Until you were about twenty, things had gone to plan; you were studying at an ivy league college, you had managed to shed any puppy fat you still clung onto around your middle, and you had a wonderful set of friends. One goal still lingered, however, and that was to meet The One.

❥ Access Denied by @littlemisskookie➴ Infidelity/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Yoongi | One-Shot➴ Your boyfriend, Yoongi, no longer pays attention to you. So you decide to spend time with someone who will. 

❥ Partition by @iq-biased ➴ Mafia!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Namjoon | Series➴ Namjoon. Head of one of the fiercest gangs in Seoul, and your boyfriend. You know he has been working on something big lately. Whatever it is, he’s keeping it very quiet. So quiet, that you’re beginning to doubt whether he’ll ever get any time with you. But when his driver, the infamous Kim Taehyung, is tasked with taking you home during a date-gone-wrong, he’s got nothing but time for you. And time is something you’re finding it really hard to resist… 

❥ Always by @itskimtaehyung ➴ Mafia/Married!AU | Jimin x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ You would die for him, kill for him, and everything in between. He was as much a part of you as yourself. You didn’t want anyone else. It was always Jungkook. 

❥ Apologies by @ellieljade ➴ Idol/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot➴ After a fight, Taehyung can’t bring himself to apologize to his girlfriend until he realizes that she might have moved on. If he wants her he needs to go get her.

❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Detective/Married!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life. Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency. 

BONUS:

Exhibit Dick: One Where OC Cheats on Reader

❥ A Hundred Percent Human by wrienne➴ Hybrid/Host Club!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series ➴ In which you (reader) are forced to take care of seven hybrids in a twist of fate.

After your estranged mother passes away, you’re left with an unwanted will and the heavy burden of responsibility. Although you’re desperate not to stray from the familiar path you thought was laid out in front of you with a fully human boyfriend who loves you more than anything, your life is thrown upside down once more after another unfortunate incident (that may or may not have to do with said boyfriend) occurs.

Drunk and down on life, you finally decide to deal with the house and the unsavory business your mother left behind. However, to your shock, you find that seven very different hybrids are included with both the house - and the business. Seven hybrids you never even met before - even less agreed to take care of.

Set in the not too distant future where infertility has become mankind’s greatest issue. Will contain sexual content.

so this is the list I came up with I hope you enjoy reading all of these stories I listed here, all of these are wonderful in their own heartbreaking way, some are on-going/on-hold series, some ended with happily ever afters while others ended in the most heart wrenching tragic way. | 🍒

[sthayil]

2018 Reading Goal Outcomes

Goal: 52 books in 2018, no rereads or romance novels

Result: 28

1.       Whisky Tango Foxtrot, Kim Barker

Didn’t like it. Patronizing towards the places, and so littered with American pop culture references that it reads like she’s never used her imagination ever, and author is incapable of a metaphor that isn’t related to her American experience of the world.

2.       How Much Land Does A Man Need and What Men Live By, Leo Tolstoy

This is a tiny little penguin classic book with two short stories. The first story was a parable, your usual bargain with the devil and the greed of man coming back to bite him in the ass. Apparently James Joyce said it is the best story ever, but it has been done so many times that I’m not sure it’s true. The latter story was very Christian.

3.       Pegasus, Robin McKinley

McKinley is one of my favourite authors and I had read almost everything by her when I was a teenager, but I cannot believe this cliffhanger ending! And it’s been 8 years since publishing with still no sequel. Ebon is forthcoming, and that’s all it says on McKinley’s website.

4.       To Be Read at Dusk, Charles Dickens

Another Penguin collection of short stories. These were supposed to be spooky, and unfortunately I read them in the middle of the afternoon, and so didn’t feel the effects at all. The three stories were “To be read at dusk”, “The signalman”, and “The trial for murder”.

5.       Buying a Fishing Rod for my Grandfather, Gao Xingjian

This was a beautiful collection of short stories, I liked the titular one and the Temple with two lovers travelling.

6.       Half a Rupee Stories, Gulzar

I’m reading short stories for now just so I can get back into the habit before I jump into a full length book. I still don’t trust my own stamina. These were lovely stories, the ones I particularly remember are about growing old together and old loves.

7.       The Woman Who Thought She Was A Planet and Other Stories, Vandana Singh

My discovery of Indian sci-fi! This story collection was lovely, set in various time periods, with mathematics and physics apparent throughout which is the author’s background.

8.       Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Amy Chua

I had read a lot of the articles and reviews about it when it first came out but hadn’t read the book itself, so was glad to finally get my hands on it. It is true that the book doesn’t extoll what Chau deems the Chinese method of parenting more than the Western method, as given by the final example of her younger daughter Lulu.

9.       The Bad Boy’s Guide to the Good Indian Girl, Annie Zaidi & Smriti Ravindra

This was a fun read. Intertwining narratives from the perspective of a variety of different characters.

10.   Geek Girl, Holly Smale

Yes it was a young adult novel, but I was so exhausted with work and wedding planning and just wanted to relax and read something fluffy and I found this at my aunt and uncle’s house. Was a fun read, pretty predictable but didn’t go in expecting more than that. There’s a sequel out, but it was not gripping enough for me to look it up further.

11.   Airhead, Meg Cabot

12.   Being Nikki, Meg Cabot

13.   Runaway, Meg Cabot

Just burning through the series to see what happens at the end. The protagonist is a little annoying. A decent read but I wouldn’t want to own the books, and reading them once was enough.

14.   The Maze Runner, James Dashner

Again, back to young adult fiction from my cousin’s bookshelf. I’ve been meaning to read this series for a while. The book itself was ok. Pretty annoying because they kept dragging out the mystery for so long. When the audience has as little background as the protagonist does, how are we supposed to bond with him?

15.   The Scorch Trials, James Dashner

Again, similarly mysterious and dragging. Sure, we have more of a bond to the protagonist because we all got through the first book together, but I’m tired of all questions and no answers. It’s also very convenient that everything is so arbitrary and does not make sense because it’s done by the Creator people and the protagonist has no memories, because that puts zero pressure on the author to have a brain and think about things, or connect any dots, or tie anything together at all. It’s just a bunch of random shit happening for no reason, and nothing is connected. I can’t believe this series got so popular. This better wrap up in the final book.

16.   The Death Cure, James Dashner

Super lame. In the end they all just went to some magical forest place that was undisturbed and had not been mentioned until then, and it was a community who were meant to repopulate the Earth. The whole series didn’t have to be written if they had just done that from the start, when they already had the idea. Not worth rereading. I hear there’s a fourth book, but not even interested enough to find out the title, let alone track it down and read it.

17.   Recurve, Shannon Mayer

This is a promising new fantasy series, a world of elementals and other magical beings with a strong female protagonist and good logic.

18.   Breakwater, Shannon Mayer

19.   Firestorm, Shannon Mayer

20.   Windburn, Shannon Mayer

21.   Rootbound, Shannon Mayer

22.   Ash, Shannon Mayer

23.   Destroyer, Shannon Mayer

Amazing series. Just what I needed to read after the failure of The Maze Runner.

24.   Venom and Vanilla, Shannon Mayer

On a roll with Mayer. I like her writing style, and she has good strong female protagonists.

25.   Fangs and Fennel, Shannon Mayer

26.   Hisses and Honey, Shannon Mayer

Another solid series from Mayer.

27.   My Dateless Diary, R. K. Narayan

My first time reading anything by this author. Maybe I should have started with Malgudi Days, but I really enjoyed this. An autobiographical set of musings on life and travel as he goes through the US a long time back, when segregation was still ongoing, there was no internet and people had to ask each other questions to learn, and everyone had time for everyone else. Makes me almost wish that I lived back then just to experience that sort of peaceful life of transient interactions and persistent contact.

28.   A Few of the Girls, Maeve Binchy

A collection of short stories, mostly in the UK from the 60-80s. Very Rosamunde Pilcher-esque but happy endings not guaranteed.

[iatethepomegranate]

DickTiger Week Day 6: Love Letter

I’m so tired help

Masterlist (including AO3 links)

Title: Scrapbook

Rating: Teen

Length: 2.3k

Summary: Dick and Tiger leave each other letters whenever they're apart.

Notes: Spoilers for the end of the Grayson comic.

Scrapbook

Neither Dick nor Tiger could remember who left the first letter, but it soon became a habit. Whenever one would be absent for a time, they would leave a note. They both left them for each other when on separate missions and Tiger would leave them when he rose early to pray.

Dick started collecting them, though he hadn't told Tiger. After Spyral, they were all Dick had to remember him by while Tiger took over the organisation and flew across the world on missions that required his personal touch.

This stretched on for months. Dick returned to Gotham, to Nightwing, to his family. But early every morning, no matter how tired he was, he would jolt awake as if expecting Tiger to be there, getting out of bed to pray.

He wasn't there, and now Dick couldn't sleep. One morning, exhausted and fed up, Dick found the file he kept Tiger's notes in. He'd managed to snag it while leaving his quarters at Spyral after the fight was over, having left it behind when the pair of them went on the run. They had left each other short notes on the backs of wrappers while going against Spyral, but most of those had ended up stashed in Tiger's vest pouches.

Dick laid the notes he did have out on the floor and began to sort them into chronological order, relieved that Tiger had dated every single one. Maybe he knew Dick wanted to keep them, even if fraternisation had technically been against the rules.

The first one Dick could find, though he was fairly certain there had been a few before, was dated for a mission Tiger undertook while Dick was recovering from a broken rib.

Do not break anything else while I am gone.

Tiger hadn't signed that one. That came later. He had still been too awkward about their relationship at this time, closer to frenemies-with-benefits than romance.

Go back to sleep. I will return soon.

Written the first time they had spent the whole night together, and Tiger briefly left to pray in the early hours of the morning.

Dick separated the morning prayer notes from the mission notes, and soon his bedroom floor was covered with papers. A physical representation of their time together.

Then he found another of the go back to sleep notes, a few months after the first. The one that made things all too real.

Prayer. Go back to sleep. I love you.

It was the first time Tiger had said those words in any form, and he didn't return to bed that morning. Dick had given him a few hours of space before sliding a note beneath his bedroom door for him to find later. Dick didn't have that one, but it had been short and simple and easy to remember:

I love you, too.

Dick missed him. Terribly.

He sorted the notes in an exhausted daze, and then ate three bowls of cereal. That ate up the time until stores began to open, so Dick threw on some clothes and headed down the street fuelled by coffee and loneliness.

He needed a scrapbook. Now.

Tiger had finally carved out some time to leave Spyral. He did not trust his agents to survive without him for long, but they had improved in the months since he had taken over. Long enough that he could visit Gotham for a few days.

Batman and his associates changed their communicator frequencies often, so Dick had not bothered to give him that. Instead, he gave a piece of advice: watch the batsignal.

So Tiger settled on a building close to the GCPD, but not close enough to raise alarm, and watched through binoculars every time the signal hit the sky. Batman arrived on the roof with Robin, a grumpy young teenager whose legs were growing faster than the rest of him. Nightwing joined them moments later. Perfect.

He tracked Nightwing's progress as he separated from the pair, flying south through the use of his grapnel launcher. Tiger followed, close enough that Nightwing would notice him, but not so close that he would be alarmed.

Nightwing landed on the roof of an apartment complex, leaning against the fire escape railing. Tiger dropped beside him.

“I thought it was you,” Nightwing replied. “Already radioed the fam. I'm free for the night.”

“Did you tell them why?”

“I told them I had a last-minute meeting with the new head of Spyral.” Nightwing started down the fire escape, beckoning Tiger to follow. “Pretty sure Red Robin has me figured out, but he won't say anything.”

They climbed down a set of stairs and Nightwing pressed a short code into a keypad on the nearest windowsill. There was a soft click, and he slid the window open.

By the time Tiger joined him in what appeared to be the bedroom, Dick had switched on the bedside lamp and discarded his mask, gloves and boots. He reached past Tiger to shut the window and remained close, turning his back.

“Unzip me?”

“Do you always get help undressing?” Tiger asked, dragging the zipper down from Dick's neck to his waist, letting himself stroke the exposed skin with the backs of his fingers.

Dick stepped out of his uniform and tossed it aside, standing in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts that Tiger couldn't believe had actually fit under his uniform. “No. But you were right there.” He slid Tiger's backpack off his shoulders and tossed it on the bed. “You hungry? I've got some leftover noodles in the fridge with our names on them.”

“Are you going to put clothes on?”

“Wasn't planning to.” Dick led Tiger out of the bedroom and sat him on the couch. “I'll be back in a minute.”

Dick's living room was only a few feet long, housing a couch, television and a coffee table buried under piles of... everything.

On top of the pile sat a photo album or scrapbook. The title read: Love Letters. Tiger knew Dick had taken his file of letters home with him, but if he had really put in the effort to preserve them like this...

Tiger picked up the book and brought it into the kitchen. “Is this what I think it is?”

Dick turned away from the microwave, eyes widening as he took in what was in Tiger's hands. “Uh, probably? Open it.”

Tiger set the book on the tiny card table and pulled back the cover. The front page held the title again, surrounded by pictures of various birds.

“Damian was going through a bird phase with his art,” Dick explained, staring into the microwave. “He only complained a tiny bit when I asked him to draw me something. Whatever he wanted. Spot the robin.”

A small robin red-breast was perched in the bottom-right corner. “Does he know what this is for?”

“No. He probably just assumed I was making a dorky gift for Barbara or something. I thought asking him to draw a tiger would be too much.”

Tiger turned the page, and came face-to-face with the first letter Dick had kept: Do not break anything else while I am gone. It was the most affectionate thing Tiger could manage when their relationship was new. A badly-drawn broken bone occupied a spot of honour beside it.

“Did you draw this?”

Dick looked over his shoulder and snorted. “Yep. Can you tell?”

“Sadly, yes.”

Dick shrugged. “I tried.” The microwave beeped and he pulled out a bowl of noodles. “Here. Take all this into the living room. I'll be there in a minute.” He shoved a second bowl into the microwave and turned it on. “Go on.”

Tiger sat on the couch and balanced the scrapbook on the one bare section of the coffee table. He barely touched his noodles, staring at his handwriting telling the story of their relationship... of Tiger becoming more comfortable with the concept of a relationship at all.

Prayer. Go back to sleep. I love you.

Tiger remembered being embarrassed as he wrote it, of avoiding Dick all day afterwards. He still had Dick's response, tucked into his backpack with all the other notes he had kept. He left his noodles balanced carefully on the couch and hurried back to the bedroom, where he dug a book of his own out of the bag.

Dick was on the couch with his own noodles when Tiger returned. “Ooh, what's that?”

“Why did you put my notes in a scrapbook?” Tiger asked.

“Couldn't sleep one morning,” Dick replied. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” He rested the book on Dick's bare legs. “I did not draw anything. Sorry.”

Dick patted the couch. “Don't be sorry. You saw how bad my art was.”

Tiger sat back down and ate several mouthfuls of noodles while Dick paged through the book. Dick was always fun to watch, but especially now as his smile grew bigger and bigger with every letter he reread.

“Remember this one?” Dick asked, tapping one that just read: I love you too.

Tiger nodded, his throat suddenly too tight for speech. He had found it in his room the evening he spent the whole day avoiding Dick. For some reason, he had not expected Dick to say it back.

“I still love you, by the way,” Dick said.

“I love you too.” The words came more easily now than ever.

Dick kept flipping through the book. “Aw, you kept our candy wrapper notes. I'd hoped you hadn't lost them.” He smoothed down the wrinkled corner of one Tiger had written: I love you but please stop singing. Dick had written one in response: Please don't make me choose between the two greatest loves of my life.

Tiger's response to that had been short and to the point: You disgust me. He had meant it in jest, obviously.

“Being on the run was exhausting,” Dick said, “but I had a great time with you.”

“I feel the same.”

“Glad you didn't kill Helena and ruin everything?”

Tiger rolled his eyes, but still said yes. He had not wanted to kill her, but that had been the only option at the time.

“And look! We're together again.” Dick nudged him. “We should keep up the notes, you know. I like looking back on them.”

Tiger liked that, too.

Then they kissed, and he never wanted to leave again.

Their relationship continued in fits and starts and stolen moments for the next few years, until one day Tiger passed Dick an envelope after they'd spent their first night together in months... again.

“What's this?”

“Open it.” Tiger grabbed a fistful of the bedsheets to fight the nerves, relieved that Dick was focused on the envelope rather than him.

Dick pulled Tiger's note out, and a pair of rings fell onto the sheets. “No way.” He opened the letter so quickly that he almost tore it.

“Read it aloud?” Tiger requested.

Dick was already grinning wider than Tiger had ever seen. “Sure, babe. Dear, Richard. I apologise for the formality, but it seemed appropriate. We have spent so much of our time apart and it has given me time to think about our relationship. I have grown tired of seeing you once every few weeks at best. I want to see you every day. I want to wake up to your sleeping face, even when you drool on the pillow and talk in your sleep. I want to eat breakfast with you and watch your eyes slowly wake as the caffeine hits your system. I want to hear your praise your family whenever they achieve their goals, and I want to watch you reach your own. I want to spent the rest of my life with...” Dick trailed off, blinking rapidly towards the ceiling.

Tiger had spent so much time agonising over what to write that knew the letter by heart, so he kept talking, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you more than anything else in the world—and I really wish you were still reading this because I am embarrassing myself.”

“Shut up,” Dick said thickly. “Keep going.”

“I cannot do both at once.”

Dick elbowed him. “Fine. I'll do it. Richard Grayson, will you marry me?” He dropped the letter. “Of course I will, Tiger.” Then he leaned over and threw a second envelope into Tiger's lap. “Great minds think alike, huh? Shame I hadn't finished writing the letter, damn you.”

Tiger shook out a second pair of rings, and they laughed together.

Dick finished his letter and proposed to Tiger the following afternoon. Those letters became their wedding vows.

They reread their love letter scrapbooks every anniversary, and Tiger pretended he wasn't crying each time. Dick never teased him for it.

Years later, they still wrote little notes for each other and pasted them into a new, shared scrapbook. From the mundane to the just plain strange—from gone out to get milk to sorry babe had to rescue seventeen cats from the same tree—every note had its own little position of honour.

Every time they fought, every time they missed each other, they could look back on those notes and remember why they were sharing a life together. Even though they bought each other plenty of gifts over the years, from new plates to the world's ugliest shirt to an orange kitten they called Tony, nothing could ever compare to the gift they had given each other right at the beginning.

Neither Dick nor Tiger could remember who had written the first note, but that person had been a genius.

[chancemedley116]

Answering 50 quarantine asks

Asked by @whatqueen-wildcats via my other blog because I reblogged to the wrong one again lolol

1. Are you enjoying yourself? Yeah, things are going alright. 

2. Do you miss how life used to be? Things aren’t too different for me. I’m still working and taking classes, even though work is busier and classes are just online now.

3. What are you doing with your time now that you’re home? Same old stuff, mostly homework. Any free time is spent playing animal crossing though lol

4. What drinks do you have in the fridge right now? Ooh boy I’ll have to think about this one. Water, tea, orange juice, grape juice, coke zero, and pepsi. More than usual because of essential shopping. Usually it’s just tea and water.

5. What snacks do you have in your house right now? Honestly, a bag of chips for my mom and that’s it. I’m trying to snack less lately, and the only way that seems to work is if I have no snacks nearby lol.

6. When was the last time you stepped outside, and what for? I went outside to put my dog up a couple of hours ago.

7. What’s a book you hope to read while quarantined? I want to finish rereading a book I had when I was 15 or somewhere around that. It’s call Sword of the Land, and it’s awesome.

8. What’s a goal you hope to achieve while being quarantined? I want to be more productive in general, finish the semester strong, and not get sick.

9. How long do you think you can last like this? I could live like this for a very long time. I’m a huge homebody so this isn’t bothering me much at all.

10. What is the last thing you’ve read? I read an article about animal crossing this afternoon...

11. What show are you catching up on? None right now. I’m mostly listening to podcasts or watching random youtube videos.

12. Are you a “stay in pajamas all day kind"of person? Yes, definitely. Even most of my normal clothes could count as pajamas anyway.

13. What time did you go to sleep last night? Like...1ish. I wasn’t feeling well so it took me a while to fall asleep.

14. What time did you wake up today? Oh dude, I think it was 11. Like I said, wasn’t feeling well.

15. Are you staying active? I’m definitely not less active. Work has been more exhausting for sure. But I haven’t been exercising at all.

16. Are you staying hydrated? Never hydrated enough. I need to be better about that.

17. How long do you think this quarantine will last? At least another month. Probably 2 because no one here in Florida is staying home at all. :/

18. If you had to study one subject everyday for the rest of this quarantine, what would you study? See, I don’t like this question. I should say Spanish, because I’m taking it now and have to take part 2 in the Summer, but it’d probably be folklore or something related to that.

19. How much weight do you suppose you’ll put on by the time this quarantine is over? I’ll probably stay the same weight or lose weight by the end of this, because since I’m not going to school I won’t feel the need to eat fast food as much. It wasn’t a ton before, only like, once a week. But still.

20. What’s your favorite board game? For family games I’m pretty partial to the game of life and scrabble.

21. What’s your favorite card game? Rummy. A family favorite.

23. What’s your favorite tv show? My default answer is Parks and Rec, but I haven’t watched tv shows regularly in a while.

24. What’s your favorite snack? All I can think about right now is a fruit, veggie, and cheese tray.

26. What’s your favorite beverage? I want to say water, but I have fallen back into my deeeeeep love for pepsi.

27. What do you like most about the quarantine? Not having to drive an hour and a half(3 hours round trip) to get to school. I’m saving so much in gas money right now.

28. What are you finding most challenging about the quarantine? Remembering what day it is. It’s been a nightmare. Also my sleep schedule is wrecked.

29. Do you think COVID-19 is as bad as the media says it is? Yeah, man. This thing isn’t okay. I really hope it wakes people up to the desperate need for vaccines.

30. What precautions have you taken to stay safe from COVID-19? I stay at home unless absolutely necessary, and at work we have an alert to wash our hands and “touch points” every hour. But the customers are mostly jerks and haf leaned on and coughed on most of us on the reg.

31. What have you learned so far from this experience? People are being really selfish for the most part, and that most people don’t keep a fully stocked freezer.

32. Are you introverted, omniverted, or extroverted? I used to think I was a stone cold introvert, but I realized that was mostly the way I was raised and my introverted parents keeping me from socializing because they didn’t want to. Omnivert for sure.

33. Which room in your house do you spend the most time in? My bedroom. I actually just moved into my mom’s old office space, so it doesn’t fully feel like my room yet. I lived in my last room for 12 years, so it’s going to take a bit.

34. Who are you most worried about? The older members of my family. Also my fiance and brother in law. They both have asthma and are essential workers.

35. Who was the last person you texted, called, facetimed? Texted, a friend in a group chat about animal crossing, called my fiance, facetimed my friend Taylor.

36. What three emojis best describe your attitude towards what’s going on right now? 👏🧼💦

37. If you had to live in one item of clothing for the rest of this quarantine what would it be? My princess mononoke sweatpants. Those babies are comfy af.

38. What was the last meal you cooked and how did it taste? I wouldn’t call it a meal, but I made one of those knorr pasta sides for my dinner last night lol. It was delicious.

39. What’s your favorite restaurant? Is it closed? Bamboo sushi. I have been craving it for weeks, even before the quarantine. I desperately need a friend to go on sushi dates with. If you have my number, call me. I am dead serious.

40. What is your favorite store? Is it closed? Probably Earthbound. I like smelling the incense. I’m sure it is closed, doesn’t seem essential.

41. How many things have you purchased online since being in quarantine? I just realized I haven’t ordered anything. I’ve been meaning to buy a new mouse, but I haven’t decided on one yet.

42. What was the last thing you purchased online? Probably my makeup mirror.

43. What’s getting you through these tough times? ...animal crossing.

44. Are you keeping up with the news? To a degree. I peruse twitter every morning and watch whatever my parents have on for a minute or two. Sadly it’s usually some conservative Trump support thing, so I either have to stomach it and keep my mouth shut or just leave. I usually go with leaving.

45. Are you stressed? In general, yeah. But I’ve felt oddly peaceful during this time. I read somewhere on here that’s because people are finally reacting to the way I feel all the time. I don’t know if that’s true, but it makes sense. 

46. Tell me something positive. My sister is getting a new house in a few weeks. I’m insanely excited for her. And we’re going to be neighbors!

47. Give me some advice. I don’t feel like the kind of person who should be giving advice, just know I’m proud of you. Just in general. :)

48. What’s your favorite quote? Excuse me as I open my Pinterest quote board for this... “The way you speak to yourself matters.” No credit, but it’s something I’m learning a lot about lately.

49. What’s your favorite book? The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly. I wonder if it will ever change.

50. Tell me an interesting fact. The roars used in the animated Lion King were actually from tigers, because lion roars weren’t loud enough.

Thanks for asking! This was fun. 

[thelazypetowner]

Will you be going to see A Dog's Purpose? Simple but heated question!

Super unpopular opinion... but yes, I plan on seeing it. However, before I get any hate, I'd like to explain why.I'm most definitely against what the handler did, and I don't think that should have happened the moment Hercules showed stress about entering the water. This isn't me going to see a movie to prove a point that "everything's fine, y'all are silly for thinking the dog was tortured/traumatized/etc." I really hope he does get punished for what he did. Even if he meant well, he was a professional, and he should have known that what he was doing was the opposite of helping. Earlier I reblogged a post from a dog trainer's POV, however, I have since disagreed with that and have seen a few other good tumblr posts about how it was flooding. I knew what it was, but I'm no professional dog trainer/behaviorist so I don't have experience with recognizing it, I suppose (though I hope I've learned from it). A few professional dog trainers have also come to light discussing how it was cruel (like Victoria Stillwell), although I have not read these responses myself.That being said... the simplest answer? I genuinely want to see the movie. A Dog's Purpose is my favorite book (I own the entire series and have reread them multiple times). I think the story has a wonderful story, lesson, and it really is--in my opinion--a true "dog lovers" story. I honestly don't think I could go without ever watching the movie like the majority plan to. I must admit, though, sometimes I don't feel like my actions matter in the long run, too. I feel like if I don't boycott while so many others are, it won't make a difference. I know this is a common though (especially with voting, which I did do!), and I know it, but... well, I can't really defend myself from accusations about that. (I also honestly admit to being highly skeptical whenever PETA is involved and especially putting this much effort into something.)That doesn't mean I support what happened, though, so please don't mistake that fact. I do understand why people are boycotting it. And for those that think it's about the money, well, the movie is already filmed and done for. Everyone already got paid. The ticket money goes to the theater that shows the movie and the production company, not the actors or the handlers or the crew members, etc. The author does not get money from the ticket sales either since his contract was for rights to use the story (he stated this somewhere in the comments on his book's facebook page). He was paid before the money even began being filmed.To be honest, I think if people truly want to show how upset they are about what happened, they need to take their anger to a larger scale. Right now, people are upset about one video, one movie, one incident. This has happened in the past when animal negligence/abuse/cruelty comes to light with movies like Eight Below (a dog got punched on set) and Life of Pi (the tiger almost drowned in a scene) (though side note, I have not researched on these accusations, so I don't actually know what the situation is around them). Just because it's out of the movie theater now people quickly forget, like I'm afraid they will once A Dog's Purpose leaves theaters.I think, instead, we need to focus on the problems of animal treatment in films as an entire industry, not just be angry at one movie and forget about it like what has happened in the past. I think boycotting is one way to show support, but ultimately, I wonder if it will truly address the issue. Maybe this is the catalyst for people becoming more aware and wanting stricter protections for animals behind-the-scenes. Or maybe PETA really is faking how bad the animal acting industry is and these are rare occasions. I don't know. I just think if people want to watch the movie, they should be able to do so unharassed, and if they don't want to, that's fine as well.Ultimately, I think we should be worrying less if someone wants to watch a movie or not and worrying more about "what happens next/now?" I think we need to look at the bigger picture than a stepping stone ("hit it where it hurts" and all that). Whether animal abuse is rare or common, I believe it can only help if we call for stronger investigations into the AHA and focus our attention on being more attentive to preventing cruel animal treatment in films as a whole (whose history is largely unknown and hidden from public eyes). Maybe the AHA started out as something pure and just fell in its morals, or maybe not. I don't know. When it comes to animals, I don't think we should ever assume "well they're ~probably~ being treated correctly." It never hurts to make sure that there are credible, responsible, attentive, and trustworthy people watching out for their well-being.

[jodybouchard9]

10 Things to Toss From Your Garage: How Many Are Parked in Yours?

trekandshoot/iStock

If you have a garage, you know how handy all that extra storage space can be. The problem is it’s a little too convenient. Oftentimes our garages end up filled from floor to ceiling with piles of stuff that we certainly don’t need. In fact, a recent study found 25% of people can’t fit even one car in their garage, while one-third said they keep the garage door shut so others won’t see their mess!

If all that sounds like you, it’s time to start purging. Here are 10 no-brainer items to begin tossing so you can proudly open those garage doors.

1. Old paint

Did you know that old paint can spoil? Me neither. In fact it can, and if you use latex paint that has gone bad, it can make the room you paint flat-out stink. Not only that, the paint may look bumpy, and it can peel. While paint cans don’t have expiration dates, typically solvent-based paints are good for about 15 years, while latex paints are good for 10. If the paint has a rancid smell or doesn’t mix back together smoothly, it’s likely gone bad.

When it comes to disposing paint, don’t just toss it in the trash, which can pollute our waters. Contact your local waste management agency, aka the County Extension Home Economics Agent, for proper removal and pickup/drop-off spots. Certain paints like latex and acrylic can even be thrown out in solid form (just mix with cat litter).

2. Unused sporting equipment

Sure, taking up golf (and tennis and soccer and hang gliding) probably sounded great at the time. But if you haven’t hit the links since Tiger Woods was on top, it might be time to clear out your clubs. The same goes for all those cleats, bats, balls, bags, and other sporting crap you and your kids have collected and forgotten about over the years. Sporting consignment stores may give you some cash, or you can donate them to an organization like Sports Gift that helps supply kids around the world with athletic equipment.

3. Duplicate tools

How many screwdrivers can you really use? Most people need just a basic toolbox for simple DIY projects and repairs around the house. All those extra tools are just taking up space—and making you feel slovenly.

4. Books

If they’re in the garage, chances are they’re not ones you want to display, and the odds of you rereading them are even slimmer. Besides, there’s always the library if you want to reread something. Speaking of which, the library is a great place to donate old books. First on the giveaway list should be old textbooks and reference manuals. If there’s really anything you think you might need to know, these days you can just Google it. And you might want to invest in a Kindle.

5. Electronics

Old cellphones? Outdated laptops? Clear ’em out, but don’t just toss them in the trash. A recent study found that of the 48.1 million tons of e-waste produced in the U.S. per year, only 10% to 40% of it is disposed of correctly. Here’s the right way to get rid of e-waste.

6. Furniture

True story: My husband’s Christmas list had one item on it: Get rid of that couch in the garage that had been in there for months. I kept meaning to, but I wasn’t sure how. After calling a few organizations that wouldn’t take it (it had a small tear in the fabric), I learned that our city trash would pick it up for free—I just had to schedule a day. So my husband got his wish, and now my car can be parked in the garage. Win-win! Not all cities will haul away furniture, but it’s worth looking into as are other charities that may be in need.

If more space doesn’t spur you into action, maybe the thought of mice and other pests that can infest furniture left in garages will.  Eek!

7. Motor oil

Motor oil typically has a shelf life of up to five years, and just one gallon can contaminate millions of gallons of groundwater, so make sure you dispose of yours correctly. The simplest solution is to bring it to a gas station or auto shop that accepts oil for recycling. Earth 911 has a search tool to help find an oil collection site near you.

8. Unfinished projects

You were gung-ho when you embarked on that beekeeping/birdbath/ go-kart project, but it’s time to give it the heave ho if you haven’t worked on it in more than a year.

9. Newspapers, magazines, catalogs

Besides the fact you’re probably never going to look at them again, these items can be a fire danger, serving as kindling if there’s even a brief spark in your garage. According to the U.S. Fire Administration, garage fires do more damage and cause more injury than other house fires. Every year, there are 6,600 garage fires in the U.S. that result in an average of 30 deaths, 400 injuries, and $457 in property loss. Don’t put yours at risk.

10. Anything for which you have no clue what it is or how it got there

This charger charges what? Who the heck brought this thing home and how many years ago? This red-and-green something must be a … Christmas something? If you haven’t a clue nor needed it in the past year or so, chances are you never will.

The post 10 Things to Toss From Your Garage: How Many Are Parked in Yours? appeared first on Real Estate News & Advice | realtor.com®.

[renafreefall]

2020 is here and with it comes another Goodreads Reading Challenge. This year I set the challenge for 50 books, I have no idea if I’ll surpass that or not hit it at all since my reading challenges are always all over the place but, hopefully, I’ll surpass it again like this year… or, last year as of today!

But while I read a lot, (great distraction from when I should have been researching for my dissertation) I am WAY behind on my blog. Like the last one was in the middle of the year and most of my reading was after that! Not to mention how far behind I am on my proof/ARCs readings! >.<

So while I start my 2020 challenge, I figured I’d start my year with an overview of the books I read after my last read/review (which was Alex in Wonderland (great book, check it out)).

Some of these books/series I’ve decided to do actual full reviews for but for the most part, very few stood out to me. That or they were rereads and I probably won’t do reviews for them, but who knows. I’ll probably reread them again so I might actually get around to taking notes as I go.

But! Last year’s theme was almost exclusively M/M fiction. So if you want an idea of M/M series to pick up, this is the blog for you, lol!

So without further ado, following on from Alex in Wonderland:

  Surreal Estate:

Sasha Michaels is a psychic with an affinity for houses. And he’s homeless. Go figure. After months of sleeping rough, he stumbles upon an abandoned house, and the lonely place beckons him inside. He’s finally safe . . . until someone comes blundering into his hideaway.

House-flipper Nick Cooper lost everything in the recession. Desperate to revive his business, he turns to a loan shark to fund his comeback project: flipping an abandoned house full of potential. But it turns out the house has an unexpected occupant.

Nick and Sasha make a deal: Sasha can stay in exchange for helping with the renovation. To both of their surprise, the closer they get to the loan shark’s due date, the stronger their feelings for each other grow. Problem is, Nick isn’t the only one with feelings for Sasha, and now the house doesn’t want to let Sasha go.

This was the type of book where I remember the punny title and I remember the gist of it – and for some reason I really remember Nick’s description of how Sasha moves when he finally learns that Sasha has a psychic connection to houses – something about him basically hugging the walls when he moved through rooms because he’s avoiding walking into ghost furniture, but the ins and outs of the story, I couldn’t really tell you.

I think I was hoping for something a bit more Haunted House-esque but horror this book is not. Overall, I remember it as a fine, quick read. Nothing monumental. Something to pass an evening when you’re between books, or need a break from another book that’s taking it out of you and need a breather lol.

Book 1 – Wolfsong:

Ox was twelve when his daddy taught him a very valuable lesson. He said that Ox wasn’t worth anything and people would never understand him. Then he left.

Ox was sixteen when he met the boy on the road, the boy who talked and talked and talked. Ox found out later the boy hadn’t spoken in almost two years before that day, and that the boy belonged to a family who had moved into the house at the end of the lane.

Ox was seventeen when he found out the boy’s secret, and it painted the world around him in colors of red and orange and violet, of Alpha and Beta and Omega.

Ox was twenty-three when murder came to town and tore a hole in his head and heart. The boy chased after the monster with revenge in his bloodred eyes, leaving Ox behind to pick up the pieces.

It’s been three years since that fateful day—and the boy is back. Except now he’s a man, and Ox can no longer ignore the song that howls between them.

Book 2 – Ravensong:

The first two books in the Green Creek Series. These will both get their own reviews so I won’t get into it. Overall, these books were SO much better than I expected. I had seen Wolfsong around for ages and seen it talked about loads but just wasn’t interested until I finally decided to give it a go – can’t really remember why. The books are long – over 400 pages each, I think. There’s a LOT of backstory – which I could find tedious but was also important – and a lot of repetition but still a very good pair of books. I’m currently about 80% of the way through Heartsong and honestly… meh. It’s been sat at 80% pretty much since it came out now because I just don’t feel it. I haven’t enjoyed it nearly as much as these first two but I’ll get into that when I finish it and write its own review.

Overall, good solid first two books though, and a decent werewolf series.

    THIRDS series:

Book 1 – Hell & Highwater

When homicide detective Dexter J. Daley’s testimony helps send his partner away for murder, the consequences—and the media frenzy—aren’t far behind. He soon finds himself sans boyfriend, sans friends, and, after an unpleasant encounter in a parking garage after the trial, he’s lucky he doesn’t find himself sans teeth. Dex fears he’ll get transferred from the Human Police Force’s Sixth Precinct, or worse, get dismissed. Instead, his adoptive father—a sergeant at the Therian-Human Intelligence Recon Defense Squadron otherwise known as the THIRDS—pulls a few strings, and Dex gets recruited as a Defense Agent.

Dex is determined to get his life back on track and eager to get started in his new job. But his first meeting with Team Leader Sloane Brodie, who also happens to be his new jaguar Therian partner, turns disastrous. When the team is called to investigate the murders of three HumaniTherian activists, it soon becomes clear to Dex that getting his partner and the rest of the tightknit team to accept him will be a lot harder than catching the killer—and every bit as dangerous.

So this is another series that will get its own blog, though I’ll review all ten main books in that one post. This is both a great series and a ridiculous series. If you’re looking for exquisite writing, realistic characters and manly manly men, these books aren’t for you. If you’re looking for a wild ride with characters and writing that is funny AF, you want this series.

Seriously, I don’t remember a series making me laugh as much as this. Like all the comedy is supposed to be comedic, these books are wonderfully funny, some of the characters are hilarious.

However, there was so much wrong with these books. The men don’t speak like men, the characters don’t grow naturally, there’s a whole lot of Tell, Don’t Show, and more. But even with everything wrong with it, I forgive it because it made me laugh so much. Except Book 5: Against The Grain – I don’t forgive that book. That was just a genuinely bad book, but more on that later.

    Big Bad Wolf Series:

Book 1- The Wolf at The Door

Hunting for big bad wolves was never part of Agent Cooper Dayton’s plan, but a werewolf attack lands him in the carefully guarded Bureau of Special Investigations. A new case comes with a new partner: ruggedly sexy werewolf Oliver Park.

Park is an agent of The Trust, a werewolf oversight organization working to ease escalating tensions with the BSI. But as far as Cooper’s concerned, it’s failing. As they investigate a series of mysterious deaths unlike anything they’ve seen, every bone in Cooper’s body is suspicious of his new partner—even when Park proves himself as competent as he is utterly captivating.

When more people vanish, pressure to solve the case skyrockets. And though he’d resolved to keep things professional, Cooper’s friction with Park soon erupts…into a physical need that can’t be contained or controlled. But with a body count that’s rising by the day, werewolves and humans are in equal danger. If Cooper and Park don’t catch the killer soon, one—or both—of them could be the next to go.

So… I really liked this series when I first read it (the first three, the fourth book wasn’t out then, I’m not sure it’s even out now but I will read it when it is)… however, now that I come to review it… I don’t really remember much of it. Which I think could be more down to just how many books I was reading at the time I read this. Like, I was burning through a book a day on top of my uni studies and my own writing so I think that’s more a statement to my state of mind then rather than the books. All I can tell you is that I remember really enjoying these books when I was reading them, outside of that, this is a bit of a dud review… so moving on.

    Prey (Infected Book 1):

In a world where a werecat virus has changed society, Roan McKichan, a born infected and ex-cop, works as a private detective trying to solve crimes involving other infecteds.

The murder of a former cop draws Roan into an odd case where an unidentifiable species of cat appears to be showing an unusual level of intelligence. He juggles that with trying to find a missing teenage boy, who, unbeknownst to his parents, was “cat” obsessed. And when someone is brutally murdering infecteds, Eli Winters, leader of the Church of the Divine Transformation, hires Roan to find the killer before he closes in on Eli.

Working the crimes will lead Roan through a maze of hate, personal grudges, and mortal danger. With help from his tiger-strain infected partner, Paris Lehane, he does his best to survive in a world that hates and fears their kind… and occasionally worships them.

Another book that I don’t really remember enough about to write a decent review on, but I do remember being impressed by how this book was tackled. It makes a change reading about a couple that’s been a couple for a while and is comfortable and set in their ways and just getting on with life. But it also made me so sad because of the direction the series would eventually have to take – but there was also something so incredibly intense about that because, as far as I know, there’s no way to avoid the inevitable. I didn’t continue the series after this one but that’s purely because this is another LONG series and I’d just come out of the THIRDS series and didn’t want to start another marathon so soon. I have the second book and shall read it in time.

  Enhanced World:

Book 1 – Five Minutes Longer:

Talon Valdez knew when he transformed into an enhanced human, his life and his dreams were finished. Reviled, mistrusted, and often locked away, the enhanced were viewed as monsters, despised by the public, and never trusted to serve in the military or any law enforcement agency.

Years later he gets a chance to set up a task force of enhanced to serve in the FBI, but with one proviso: each enhanced must partner with a regular human.

Finn Mayer dreamed of joining the FBI from the time he was fourteen and made every possible sacrifice to make it happen, including living with his selfish mother and bullying, homophobic brother and never having a boyfriend. But his undiagnosed dyslexia stopped his aspirations dead in their tracks. His last chance is to partner with Talon, an enhanced with deadly abilities who doesn’t trust regular humans with their secrets and wants Finn to fail.

Four weeks to prove himself to the team. Four weeks for the team to prove itself to the public. And when another group threatens their success—and their lives are at stake—four weeks for them to survive.

Yeah, this whole series was fairly meh. I think there might be more than 4 books, but I only read these four. Frankly, it just reminded me of a lesser THIRDS series – me and quite a few other reviewers from what I could see. I don’t really remember anything about these books other than thinking it was one of the first books where I’d seen a dyslexic character and finding it interesting to see how he was portrayed, and then very much sighing over the whole thing.

I like Finn – he’s pretty much the only thing I remember from the book – but, kinda, the whole first book was about how he could actually make it in this special agency despite his dyslexia and then he was kind of useless outside of public relations and then he eventually all but gets relegated to public relations anyway and it all just felt redundant. Just play to the man’s strengths in the first place. I just remember feeling kind of insulted as a fellow dyslexic when he was pushed out of fieldwork after trying so freaking hard.

Everything else about this series, I don’t remember. Three stars might even be a bit much since I remember so little, but there was obviously something I liked about it, I just don’t remember what. Not a glowing endorsement but just unfortunately not for me.

    Zero at the Bone:

After witnessing a mob hit, surgeon Jack Francisco is put into protective custody to keep him safe until he can testify.

A hitman known only as D is blackmailed into killing Jack, but when he tracks him down, his weary conscience won’t allow him to murder an innocent man.

Finding in each other an unlikely ally, Jack and D are soon on the run from shadowy enemies. Forced to work together to survive, the two men forge a bond that ripens into unexpected passion. Jack sees the wounded soul beneath D’s cold, detached exterior, and D finds in Jack the person who can help him reclaim the man he once was.

As the day of Jack’s testimony approaches, he and D find themselves not only fighting for their lives… but also fighting for their future. A future together.

OMG, I loved this book! This will get its own post soon but ARGH! I did not expect to love it as much as I did. It’s a looong book but so worth it. It’s just so sad that it will probably never get a sequel! The end sets up for a second book and there was talk of one, but that was so long ago, I don’t think it will happen. I hope Jane Saville eventually comes back to it but even if she doesn’t, SUCH a good book. EEY! Loved it.

  Ok, these next few books are all Book 1’s of different series. Two I really liked, most I don’t care about – but I basically can’t remember enough about any of them to bother going through the motions of finding images and blurbs etc. So just short notes. This is what happens when you read a TON of books that can be quite samey without making any notes and doing a lot of other stuff at the same time. And I used to never forget a plot, now I’d have to go back and reread the first few paragraphs to remember the full story – I’m getting old man -.-

Among the Living (Psycop 1) :

Apparently, I liked this book enough to give it  4 stars but hell if I know why. Probably just because it was a decent M/M who done it, and my favourites are M/M FBI or the likes so this was clearly close enough.

Clinch (Low Blow 1) :

… Clinch what now?

Prince of Killers (Fog City Book 1) :

I liked this book! I know I did – though I haven’t finished the second book yet (I think something about it annoyed me). I think I just wanted MORE from the characters, but I still remember liking this first book. Assassins and Spies and Crime, Oh My!

Origins (Gods of War Book 1) :

Don’t remember it but I remember I didn’t like it. I found all the characters annoying and didn’t care about anyone or anything that was happening. Pretty sure Warren (A former Navy SEAL) spent most of the time being a damsel in distress who always needed protecting while apparently being the leader of this team of misfit army rejects who never worked as a team. Just no positive impression.

Cutting it Close (Code of Honor Book 1) :

… Well, Goodreads says I read it so, apparently, I read it. I have a vague feeling I enjoyed reading it while I did, but clearly there was no lasting impression.

The Phisher King:

Eh, it was something to read. I did start the second book but finally decided I just couldn’t be bothered with the series and ditched it.

  Bedknobs and Broomsticks Series

Mainly by Moonlight:

Cosmo Saville guiltily hides a paranormal secret from his soon-to-be husband. Thanks to a powerful love spell, uncertainty threatens his nuptial magic. But when he’s arrested for allegedly killing a longtime rival, he could spend his honeymoon behind bars…

Police Commissioner John Joseph Galbraith never believed in love until Cosmo came along. Falling head over heels for the elegant antiques dealer is an enchantment he never wants to break. So when all fingers point to Cosmo’s guilt, John races to prove his fiancé’s innocence before they take their vows.

As Cosmo hunts for the real killer among the arcane aristocracy, John warns him to leave it to the police. But with an unseen enemy threatening to expose Cosmo’s true nature, the couple’s blissful future could shatter like a broken charm.

Can Cosmo find the lost grimoire, clear his name, and keep John’s love alive, or will black magic “rune” their wedding bells?

I buried a Witch:

Book, Bell and Scandal (out 2020)

I usually adore Lanyon’s work, and 3 stars because it IS a Lanyon work, but I have ISSUES with these books. I’ll discuss it more in a separate post but I’m not comfortable with the relationship in this series so far. It feels like it needs a serious overhaul but, currently, it doesn’t feel remotely healthy. Not a fave in the slightest.

    The Way of Kings:

According to mythology mankind used to live in The Tranquiline Halls. Heaven. But then the Voidbringers assaulted and captured heaven, casting out God and men. Men took root on Roshar, the world of storms. And the Voidbringers followed…

They came against man ten thousand times. To help them cope, the Almighty gave men powerful suits of armor and mystical weapons, known as Shardblades. Led by ten angelic Heralds and ten orders of knights known as Radiants, mankind finally won.

Or so the legends say. Today, the only remnants of those supposed battles are the Shardblades, the possession of which makes a man nearly invincible on the battlefield. The entire world is at war with itself – and has been for centuries since the Radiants turned against mankind. Kings strive to win more Shardblades, each secretly wishing to be the one who will finally unite all of mankind under a single throne.

On a world scoured down to the rock by terrifying hurricanes that blow through every few day a young spearman forced into the army of a Shardbearer, led to war against an enemy he doesn’t understand and doesn’t really want to fight.

What happened deep in mankind’s past?

Why did the Radiants turn against mankind, and what happened to the magic they used to wield?

Oh. My. Lord. I did not expect a new obsession to arrive through this book but there we go! I LOVED this book. Of COURSE, it’s getting its own post! But THIS is a book to be read. This is a series to be started. Go read it! This is a perfect book for people who aren’t big High/Epic Adult Fantasy readers – such as I – because it is top quality High Fantasy and is SO easy to read. READ IT!

  The Haunted (The Haunted Book 1):

Hendricks Becker-O’Malley is new in town, and she’s bringing baggage with her. With a dark and wild past, Hendricks doesn’t think the small town her parents moved her to has much to offer her in terms of excitement. She plans on laying low, but when she’s suddenly welcomed into the popular crowd at school, things don’t go as expected.

Hendricks learns from her new friends that the fixer-upper her parents are so excited about is notorious in town. Local legend says it’s haunted. Hendricks doesn’t believe it. Until she’s forced to. Blood-curdling screams erupt from the basement, her little brother wakes up covered in scratches, and something, or someone pushes her dad down the stairs. With help from the mysterious boy next door, Hendricks makes it her mission to take down the ghosts . . . if they don’t take her first.

Last completed book of 2019, and it was a GOOD one. I love me a good haunted house story and this nailed it. Shall get its own post – I think it’s up next actually – but I LIKED this horror. If you want a good YA horror, this is a great one. The ending kind of devastated me, but that’s what we have sequels for! I am ready for book 2, please!!

  And so that brings an end to this catch-up post before getting into the individual books of 2019. It didn’t include my rereads (such as The Art of Murder Series, which is a series by Josh Lanyon that I LOVE), nor all the mangas but there were some alright books in 2019. Not many STAND-OUTS but still, a mostly entertaining collection.

What were your standouts of 2019? And what are you hoping will take your breath away in 2020?

2019 Goodreads Reading Challange Recap 2020 is here and with it comes another Goodreads Reading Challenge. This year I set the challenge for 50 books, I have no idea if I'll surpass that or not hit it at all since my reading challenges are always all over the place but, hopefully, I'll surpass it again like this year...

[i-smile-so-i-must-be-fine]

1: My name? jess

2: Do I have any nicknames? lilo, babe, baby

3: Zodiac sign? virgo 

4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? none 

5: Book/series I reread? none 

6: Aliens or ghosts? ghosts

7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write?

8: Favourite radio station? capital fm or smooth 

9: Favourite flavour of anything? hmm strawberry

10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? amazing 

11: Favourite song? stitches - shawn mendes 

12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? lol don’t really make new friends often 

13: Favourite word? depends on my mood what i use the most 

14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? no 

15: Last song I listened to? turn me on - riton 

16: TV show I always recommend? never really recommend anything 

17: Pirates or ninjas? pirates 

18: Movie I watch when I’m feeling down? perks of been a wallflower or fault in our stars

19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? again depends on my mood

20: Favourite video games? none

21: What am I most afraid of? my girl dying or been left 

22: A good quality of mine? i care soooo much about others 

23: A bad quality of mine? paranoia/jealousy 

24: Cats or dogs? cats

25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? don’t really know 

26: Favourite season? autumn 

27: Am I in a relationship? yep 

28: Something I miss? been able to just go to my girls house or have her come to me 

29: My best friend? does my fiancee count.. other than that don’t have one 

30: Eye colour? green/brown they change colour 

31: Hair colour? brown

32: Someone I love? my girl and our son 

33: Someone I trust? my girl 

34: Someone I always think about? my girl and our son 

35: Am I excited about anything? seeing my girl on wednesday 

36: My current obsession? don’t currently have one 

37: Favourite TV shows as a child? lizzy mcguire 

38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? no 

39: Am I superstitious? not really

40: What do I think about most? ...

41: Do I have any strange phobias? no 

42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind 

43: Favourite hobbies? listening to music/ watching netflix 

44: Last book I read? can’t remember what its called but i need to finish reading it 

45: Last film I watched? a star is born 

46: Do I play any instruments? no 

47: Favourite animal? tiger

48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow?

49: Superpower I wish I could have? wish i could have three.. invisibility, fly, read minds 

50: How do I destress? i don’t 

51: Do I like confrontation? no 

52: When do I feel most at peace? with my girl 

53: What makes me smile? my girl and our son 

54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? off

55: Play any sports? used to 

56: What is my song of the week? don’t have one 

57: Favourite drink? red bull 

58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? its been a while

59: Afraid of heights? no 

60: Pet peeve? people biting their nails 

61: What was the last concert I went to see? shawn mendes 

62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? no 

63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? pe teacher 

64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? kinda 

65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? dunno 

66: Something I worry about? everything 

67: Scared of the dark? only when im out on my own 

68: Who are my best friends? answered 

69: What do I admire most about others? it varys in each person 

70: Can I sing? LOL no 

71: Something I wish I could do? read minds 

72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? help family out, by my little family a house, learn to drive and buy a car, holidays, 

73: Have I ever skipped school? yea

74: Favourite place on the planet? hmm anywhere with my little family is perfect 

75: Where do I want to live? as a kid i always wanted to move to ameria, and now i’d love to live in greece 

76: Do I have any pets? yea

77: What is my current desktop picture? the quote “love is louder than the pressure to be perfect”

78: Early bird or night owl? night 

79: Sunsets or sunrise? set

80: Can I drive? i wish 

81: Story behind my last kiss? saying goodbye :(

82: Earphones or headphones? both 

83: Have I ever had braces? no 

84: Story behind one of my scars? sh 

85: Favourite genre of music? listen to most genres 

86: Who is my hero? hmm 

87: Favourite comic book character? harley quinn

88: What makes me really angry? anything can trigger it 

89: Kindle or real book? neither

90: Favourite sporty activity? dunno 

91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be?

92: What was my favourite subject at school? pe

93: Siblings? 1

94: What was the last thing I bought? a can of monster 

95: How tall am I? 5″3

96: Can I cook? kinda

97: Can I bake? a little 

98: 3 things I love? my girl, my son, my phone 

99: 3 things I hate? been late, my ex, my girls ex 

100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? girls 

101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? girls 

102: Where was I born? england 

103: Sexual orientation? lesbian 

104: Where do I currently live? england 

105: Last person I texted? my girl 

106: Last time I cried? this morning 

107: Guilty pleasure? dunno 

108: Favourite Youtuber? rose and rosie 

109: A photo of myself. no 

110: Do I like selfies? only if someone else is in them with me 

111: Favourite game app? home scapes 

112: My relationship with my parents? its okay 

113: Favourite accents? canadian 

114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? i want to travel the world so yea 

115: Favourite number? 7

116: Can I juggle? no 

117: Am I religious? no 

118: Do I like space? kinda 

119: Do I like the deep ocean? yea 

120: Am I much of a daredevil? probably 

121: Am I allergic to anything? no 

122: Can I curl my tongue? no 

123: Can I wiggle my ears? no 

124: Do I like clowns? they’re alright 

125: The Beatles or Elvis? neither 

126: My current project? don’t have one 

127: Am I a bad loser? no 

128: Do I admit when I wrong? sometimes 

129: Forest or beach? beach 

130: Favourite piece of advice? dunno 

131: Am I a good liar? kinda

132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? erm well i got bored of harry potter through the first one.. dunno anything about the second one and hunger games confused me 

133: Do I talk to myself? i talk to the voices in my head if that counts 

134: Am I very social? lol no

135: Do I like gossip? sometimes

136: Do I keep a journal/diary? no 

137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? yea plenty of times 

138: Do I believe in second chances? pretty much 

139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? keep the cash and hand in the wallet 

140: Do I believe people are capable of change? sometimes 

141: Have I ever been underweight? no 

142: Am I ticklish? very 

143: Have I ever been in a submarine? no but sounds fun 

144: Have I ever been on a plane? a few times 

145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? dunno 

146: Have I ever been overweight? story of my life 

147: Do I have any piercings? not anymore 

148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? harley quinn 

149: Do I have any tattoos? 9

150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? agreeing to meet the person who became my fiancee 3 months later 

151: Do I believe in Karma? i thought i did but apparently it doesn’t happen 

152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? i’m supposed to wear glasses to read 

153: What was my first car? i can’t drive 

154: Do I want children? i have 1 

155: Who is the most intelligent person I know?

156: My most embarrassing memory? to many to name 

157: What makes me nostalgic?

158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? i have insomnia sooo 

159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? brains 

160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? black 

161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? a few times 

162: What do I hate most about myself? everything 

163: What do I love most about myself? tattoos 

164: Do I like adventure? yea 

165: Do I believe in fate? kinda 

166: Favourite animal? tiger 

167: Have I ever been on radio? yea 

168: Have I ever been on TV? does the news count?

169: How old am I? 26

170: One of my favourite quotes? love is louder than the pressure to be perfect 

171: Do I hold grudges? yea

172: Do I trust easily? no 

173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? think so 

174: Best gift I’ve ever received? hmm 

175: Do I dream? i day dream a lot but for the past dunno how long i’ve had nightmares when i’ve been able to sleep

176: Have I ever had a night terror? all the time 

177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? there all nightmares 

178: An experience that has made me stronger? erm 

179: If I were immortal, what would I do? god please i hope that never happens 

180: Do I like shopping? if im feeling impulsive 

181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? i’d murder a few people 

182: What does “family” mean to me? dunno can’t explain it 

183: What is my spirit animal? sloth 

184: How do I want to be remembered?

185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? maths 

186: What is my greatest failure? my last relationship but thank fuck it didn’t work out 

187: What is my greatest achievement? my son although it happened out of a very bad situation 

188: Love or money? love 

189: Love or career? love

190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? its difficult coz i’d want to go to the future to see if things actually improve.. but i’d also want to go into the past to change things 

191: What makes me the happiest? my little family 

192: What is “home” to me? been in my girls arms 

193: What motivates me? my son 

194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be?

195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? sure 

196: A movie that scared me as a child? incredible hulk 

197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? dunno 

198: Zombies or vampires? vampires 

199: Live in the city or suburbs? not fussed 

200: Dragons or wizards? dragons 

201: A nightmare that has stayed with me?

202: How do I define love? love is when you care deeply for someone and so much more

203: Do I judge a book by its cover? i try not to 

204: Have I ever had my heart broken? yea 

205: Do I like my handwriting? no 

206: Sweet or savoury? sweet 

207: Worst job I’ve had? when i was an intern at this little cafe i just hated the whole experience 

208: Do I collect anything? no 

209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? my engagnment ring and the first ring my girl bought me 

210: What is on my bucket list? to travel 

211: How do I handle anger? depends 

212: Was I named after anyone? dunno 

213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? always 

214: What TV character am I most like? dunno 

215: What is the weirdest talent I have? i have flexible fingers 

216: Favourite fictional character? harley quinn 

[dramatologia]

FAQ

Want to know me better? 1: My name? Alícia. 2: Do I have any nicknames? Ally, Alicinha, Lilicia, Mirsthy 3: Zodiac sign? Libra ♎️ 4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? Zelda, League of Legends, Just Dance. 5: Book/series I reread? Many. 6: Aliens or ghosts? Aliens. 7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? Poe, Ursula Poznanski, Stephen King, Kafka, JK Rowlking, Patricia Cromwell, George R.R.Martin, Tolkien, Thomas Harris, Charles Bukowski, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Dan Brown, Colleen Houck, Ginsberg, Amis, Fernando Pessoa, Palahniuk, Linspector, Welsh, John Fante. 8: Favourite radio station? 88.9 (?) 9: Favourite flavour of anything? Chocolate. 10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? Top. 11: Favourite song? Currently: wanderlust - blackbear 12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? Idk 13: Favourite word? Saudade. 14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? Yes. 15: Last song I listened to? Blackbear - 4U 16: TV show I always recommend? The Blacklist. 17: Pirates or ninjas? Ninjas. 18: Movie I watch when I’m feeling down? Hector and the Search for Happiness. 19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? Naive - The Kooks. 20: Favourite video games? Overwatch. 21: What am I most afraid of? Not living. 22: A good quality of mine? I'm honest and loyal af. 23: A bad quality of mine? Way too patient. 24: Cats or dogs? Cats. 25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? - 26: Favourite season? Autumn. 27: Am I in a relationship? No. 28: Something I miss? Someone: Dad. 29: My best friend? Marcelo Carrara. 30: Eye colour? Dark brown/black. 31: Hair colour? Dark brown/black. 32: Someone I love? Celo. 33: Someone I trust? Celo, Lara, Motta, Toninho, Jojeta, Luísa, Eloisa and Karina. 34: Someone I always think about? Dad. 35: Am I excited about anything? Studying abroad. 36: My current obsession? Overwatch! 37: Favourite TV shows as a child? Invader Zim, Winx, Courage, Scooby-Doo, Drake & Josh, Wizards of Waverly Place, Zack & Cody and the list goes on. 38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? Celo and Guga. 39: Am I superstitious? Slightly. 40: What do I think about most? Traveling. 41: Do I have any strange phobias? Trypophobia (nk) 42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Both. 43: Favourite hobbies? Writing, reading, playing, watching movies and listening to music. 44: Last book I read? Coletânea - Bukowski. 45: Last film I watched? Ruby Sparks. 46: Do I play any instruments? Used to play guitar. Not anymore. 47: Favourite animal? Tigers. 48: Have I ever dated someone older than me? Nah. Not exactly. 49: Superpower I wish I could have? Wish I could teleport. 50: How do I destress? Music and cinema. 51: Do I like confrontation? Depends, not always but sometimes it's necessary. 52: When do I feel most at peace? Under the water. And cuddling. 53: What makes me smile? Anything. 54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? Ye. 55: Play any sports? Nope. But I'm a great volleyball and handball player. 57: Favourite drink? Coca-Cola, kek. 58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? Can't remember. 59: Afraid of heights? Kinda, but I usually forget about it ahhahaha 60: Pet peeve? Drama (lol). 61: What was the last concert I went to see? Lady Gaga??? Idk. 62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? Nah. 63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? Astronaut. 64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? I do not have enemies. 65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Harry Potter’s Wizarding World. 66: Something I worry about? The well being of those closest to me. 67: Scared of the dark? Absolutely. 68: Who are my best friends? Answered. 69: What do I admire most about others? Their sense of humor. 70: Can I sing? I try my best. 71: Something I wish I could do? Get excellent grades hahah 72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? Move out, leave school, invest, travel and donate. 73: Have I ever skipped school? Yes. 74: Favourite place on the planet? Manly. 75: Where do I want to live? Dunno. Used to be Australia but I'm trying to change my mind since Aussie is too isolated. 76: Do I have any pets? 1 cat and 1 dog. 77: What is my current desktop picture? A Japanese dancer. 78: Early bird or night owl? Night owl. 79: Sunsets or sunrise? Sunset. 80: Can I drive? Hell no. 81: Story behind my last kiss? There were so many people there and we were under blankets hiding ourselves from them. 82: Earphones or headphones? Headphones. 83: Have I ever had braces? Yes. I'm going to take them off this year. 84: Story behind one of my scars? - 85: Favourite genre of music? Pretty much anything. 86: Who is my hero? Professor Euzébio. 
87: Favourite comic book character? Dunno. 88: What makes me really angry? When people lie to me, cut me off/or talk over me when I’m talking and when someone disrespect one of my friends. 89: Kindle or real book? Real. Duh. 90: Favourite sporty activity? Badminton. 91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be? How to actually live. 92: What was my favourite subject at school? History. 93: Siblings? 4: Jorge, Adriane, Alexandre and Leandro. 94: What was the last thing I bought? Food. 95: How tall am I? 5'3. 96: Can I cook? +-. 97: Can I bake? Yes sir. 98: 3 things I love? My friends, coke and traveling. 99: 3 things I hate? Someone who's a douche canoe. Fish. Being late. 100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? Boys. 101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? Boys. 102: Where was I born? Brasília - Distrito Federal, Brazil. 103: Sexual orientation? Love. 104: Where do I currently live? Brasília - DF, Brazil. 105: Last person I texted? A unknown. 106: Last time I cried? A few days ago, my friends won an important match and I cried like a baby. 107: Guilty pleasure? Getting a new notebook and smelling the blank paper; something about the smell of paper just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. 108: Favourite Youtuber? Liza. 109: Favorite salad?
- 110: Do I like selfies? Sometimes, if I feel like pretty that day. 111: Favourite game app? Uhhh, Scream Go. 112: My relationship with my parents? Dad was ok but mom is complicated. 113: Favourite accents? British and Australian. And Argentinian. 114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? South Korea :) 115: Favourite number? 13. 116: Can I juggle? Yes! 117: Am I religious? No. 118: Do I like space? Not sure if that means outer space or mental space… I guess both 119: Do I like the deep ocean? Hell no. 120: Am I much of a daredevil? Kinda. 121: Am I allergic to anything? Beach and dust. 122: Can I curl my tongue? Yes. 123: Can I wiggle my ears? Yes. 124: Do I like clowns? Idk. 125: The Beatles or Elvis? Elvis. Obvious. 126: My current project? Growing professionally. 127: Am I a bad loser? No, not really. 128: Do I admit when I wrong? I'll be the first one to do so. 129: Forest or beach? Beach. 130: Favourite piece of advice? What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything? 131: Am I a good liar? Lmfao yeah no. I can’t lie to save my life. I'm terrible. 132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? Slytherin, Erudite and District 1. 133: Do I talk to myself? Yeah. 134: Am I very social? Yes I am. 135: Do I like gossip? No. 136: Do I keep a journal/diary? Sometimes. 137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? Every math test ever put in front of me. 138: Do I believe in second chances? Absolutely. 139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? Try to find the owner of the wallet and turn it in; I’m a big believer in karma. 140: Do I believe people are capable of change? Yes, most people are I believe, except in certain situations. 141: Have I ever been underweight? Idk. 142: Am I ticklish? Yes. A lot. I hate it. 143: Have I ever been in a submarine? No; I don’t think I want to. 144: Have I ever been on a plane? Yes, many times. 145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? I have no freaking clue, honestly. 146: Have I ever been overweight? No. 147: Do I have any piercings? Not anymore. 148: Which fictional character do I wish was real?
Hmm, idk. 149: Do I have any tattoos? No. 150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? I started being myself. 151: Do I believe in Karma? So much yes! 152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? No. 153: What was my first car? I've never had one. 154: Do I want children? Hell fucking no. 155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? Euzébio - he's wise. Costacurta - he knows everything about anything. He's amazing. 156: My most embarrassing memory? Can't remember, srsly. 157: What makes me nostalgic? Frank Sinatra. 158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Yes. 159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Brains. But what I most value in others? The contents of their heart. That makes up all the rest, at least for me. 160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? Black. 161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? I guess so. 162: What do I hate most about myself? I should study more. 163: What do I love most about myself? My aura. 164: Do I like adventure? I'm always up for a good time! 165: Do I believe in fate? Yes. 166: Favourite animal? Answered. Another one? Whale. 167: Have I ever been on radio? Yes. 168: Have I ever been on TV? Yes. 169: How old am I? 17. 170: One of my favourite quotes? The free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it - basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them. 171: Do I hold grudges? No; I forget. 172: Do I trust easily? I do, unfortunately, but that’s because I don’t lie. People who lie to one another walk around thinking everyone’s lying to them, people who tell the truth make the 
mistake of believing everyone is being honest. 173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? Yes. 174: Best gift I’ve ever received? A bracelet from a hipster I had just met. 175: Do I dream? Yea, they're really weird. 176: Have I ever had a night terror? Ye. 177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? Yes; it's too long, won't right it down. 178: An experience that has made me stronger? My entire fucking life thus far. 179: If I were immortal, what would I do? Become wealthy and travel to every single place on Earth. 180: Do I like shopping? Yes. 181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? Probably commit a bank robbery. 182: What does “family” mean to me? People who love you for who you are unconditionally, without limitations; people who encourage and support you, and who are there for you even if you can’t do much in return; people who can comfort you when your sad, tell you what you don’t want to hear when you need to hear it, laugh and cry with you,people who would love to see you succeed and be happy, and who will actually do what it takes to help you get there, and people for whom you can be and do the same. Merely sharing a Bloodline doesn’t make a family; sharing love and trust and loyalty do. 183: What is my spirit animal? Tigers. They're big cats but savage. 184: How do I want to be remembered? As someone who helped a lot of people in one emerging community. 185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? Becoming an amazing violinist or writer. 186: What is my greatest failure? I should have traveled with my father. 187: What is my greatest achievement? Not dying. 188: Love or money? Love. 189: Love or career? Love. 190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? No idea. 191: What makes me the happiest? My friends and my achievements so far. 192: What is “home” to me? It's a feeling. 193: What motivates me? The unknown. 194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? "Finally". 195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? Depends. Are they good? 196: A movie that scared me as a child? Saw. 197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? Beer. Don't tell my friends. 198: Zombies or vampires? Vampires. 199: Live in the city or suburbs? City. 200: Dragons or wizards? A wizard that can become a dragon and change back at request. 201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? Don't wanna talk about it. 202: How do I define love? Confidence exchanged and trust built. 203: Do I judge a book by its cover? Literally? Yes i do. 204: Have I ever had my heart broken? Ugh. Yes. 205: Do I like my handwriting? Depends on what day it is. 206: Sweet or savoury? Both. 207: Worst job I’ve had? - 208: Do I collect anything? Harry Potter wands. 209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? Necklace. 210: What is on my bucket list? What is not would be a better question. 211: How do I handle anger? Very. Fucking. Carefully. 212: Was I named after anyone? Nope. 213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? Yes. 214: What TV character am I most like? Amu Hinamori. 215: What is the weirdest talent I have?
I can sleep anywhere, even standing up.