#I spend 40 minutes of my life writing this. that's a lot.

[aroace-cat-lady]

The Extraordinaries

Fuck you TJK and your stupid tendency to make me have feelings. I hate you so much for that.

Anyways, it's 2:50am rn. And talking about this book is gonna take me a long time. Because I absolutely loved it.

Like. I just don't know were to start. The dedication made me cry. The first chapter is one of the most hilarious yet deepest things this guy has written. His foreshadowing is amazing (hate you for that too, Klune). I'm never gonna get tired of his writing, from his representation to his sense of humor.

I do think this book isn't for everyone. I adored each second of it for plenty of reasons: the characters are fantastic, the premise is good and this fucking guy just has a way to make you want to eat the stupid book with just a couple of pages. But what really did it for me was the way he portrait neurodivergency.

Screw you, Rick Riordan (/j you're pretty ok). Nicky Bell is the kind of character I would protect with my life. I wish I was joking. But he's just that. I hate to feel seeing, and normally reading about a character I relate embarrassed me and it's uncomfortable for many reasons but mostly because it doesn't happens too often. But this guy. This guy. God, this guy. It didn't make me feel just seeing. It didn't make me feel like some personality tread. It make me feel... valid?? Idk how to express it. THE POINT HERE IS that reading this goddamn book was like reading a booklet about my brain. Wasn't weird, because TJK didn't made it weird. A brain is a brain even if not every brain is the same. Was amazing. And thank god my biggest hyperfixation isn't a real human being but a book character cuz ohhh Lorde, I would've been just like Nicky.

And the verbal vomit was so relatable I swear to fucking god--

And I read some reviews on goodreads and I stand with what I said before: this isn't for everyone.

I'm pretty use to how TJK writes his books. I know that the first 30-50% is gonna be one thing, after that TJ blows your mind/breaks your heart, then you start crying/panicking, but finally all the pieces fall in their places, and we have a wholesome final chapter, it ends. And then TJK announces Midnights: 3am tracks and you won't sleep 'till 5am.

This works for me. I know it doesn't for everyone.

Now, this is the first book of a trilogy. Which means is an introduction to such trilogy. I trust TJK enough to know the couple of breakdowns I had reading this won't compare to the tons of crying I'm gonna have to go thru while reading the other two parts.

Okay so. I pretty much talked about what I wanted to talk, so now I'm just gonna point out a few things I also loved from this book:

Secondary characters. All of them are incredible.

Plot twist?? Tbh I have never been good to know when a plot twist is a plot twist cuz most of the times I'm like Yeah, called it. And I did called it. All of them. So, yei me :)

Skwinkles Salsagheti. Look, I'm mexican. I took this personal. I'm gonna go full fangirl mood at the store because a white guy decided to put them in his book. I'm serious, independence day don't make me half as proud as it did that his wholesome ship gifted this stupid candy to each other.

Ao3. Tumblr. I don't need to say more.

Seth Gray. God. Nicky and I are the same cuz we both know this guy is the most adorable human being and feel a need to squeeze him everytime he shows up. But I'm aroace and Nicky is Nicky so we had different reasons to do it. But still. Adorable.

References. I have this thing were is curse TJL very loudly everytime I see a reference to his other books. Like, there's no other scenario were I scream YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH as much as I do reading TJK. It's amazing.

Definitely I'm missing some stuffs. But least assume they are cool stuffs.

Okay, so. I have to point out this too: the mc's dad is a cop. Some ppl got mad because of the way TJK talked about cops here. In the "this is police propaganda" way. I didn't feel it like that, but I'm not american. This was published in 2020, which means was written between 2018 and 2019. I'll let you guys decide what to do with this.

To conclude: it's 3:34am my dad is throwing up in the bathroom and fuck you TJK cuz I'm gonna keep reading your stupid books cuz the queer representation just hits different. And they make me laugh so much. And just. Screw you.

[lorkai]

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Brazilian poems that I'm convinced Rook would write for his lover.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: I start working at a new company tomorrow and writing for Rook calms me lol. Spend like 30 to 40 minutes searching for some poems and I really think all these capture his uniques vibes while also being really sweet. The authors names are also there in case my br mutuals want to search for more. Enjoy!

☆"I want every day of the year, every day of your life, every half an hour, every 5 minutes, you tell me: I love you. - Carlos Drummond de Andrade."

☆ "Thou wert also a little leaf, that trembled in my chest. Life's wind placed thee there. At first, I saw thee not: nor knew that thou went with me until thy roots passed through my chest, joined with the threads of my blood, spoke through my mouth, blossomed with me. - Pablo Neruda."

☆ "Freedom in life is having a love to hold on to. - Zack Magiezi."

☆ "When I love you I obey the stars. A number presides over our meeting in darkness. We come and go like days and nights, seasons and tides, water and land. Love, breath of our secret ocean. - Lêdo Ivo."

☆"I look for you in good things, in none of them do I find you completely, in each one I inaugurate you. - Alice Ruiz."

☆ "Love is that surprise party that you don't really know when it's going to happen. - Fabrício Carpinejar."

☆ "I could ride my bike across the city just to see you dance. And that says a lot about my rib cage. - Matilde Campilho."

☆ "What can a creature but, among other creatures, love? Love and forget, love and fall apart, love, unlove, love? Always, and even with glassy eyes, love? - Carlos Drummond de Andrade."

☆ "Deny me bread, air, light, spring, but never your laughter, because then I would die. - Pablo Neruda."

[smaller-comfort]

Aephorul does not have a crush on his best friend. That's absolutely not what's happening here. No, really. (Modern AU; college students)

Featuring: Aephorul's Olympic-level mental gymnastics, Resh'an's laundry list of trauma and assorted physical and mental health issues, safe sex, unsafe sex, and general goofiness.

I didn't think I was going to have any notes for this but lol. lmao even. This is me we're talking about.

I wish I had a good explanation or excuse for any of this. I do not.

Every time Aephorul has unsatisfying sex with a woman, he goes out and has unsatisfying sex with a man, and after doing that a few times, he mostly gave up. He'll learn the word 'demisexual' in his 30s, but by then he and Resh'an are married in the state of massachusetts and mostly monogamous.

What even is that title? I have no idea. It's better than the previous working titles, but not by much.

Resh'an's asshole roommate is Abstarak.

Resh'an's cellphone is a beat up flip phone with an antenna that he always forgets to buy more minutes for, which is why he mostly only uses it as a medication reminder.

Resh'an is on some unfortunate combination of stimulants for his adhd and antidepressants/mood stabilizers for his everything else, and is constantly horny and mostly unable to achieve orgasm. Why? Buddy, I wish I knew. He's probably more well-adjusted about it than he should be, but a lot of that is self-defensive avoidance.

Resh'an: His flat affect and terrible taste in movies have bewitched me. I can't not fuck him.

Real talk, though, I am using this AU to kick around a bunch of thoughts about disability, mental illness, and neurodivergence underneath the silliness, and I'm kind of hyperaware of the fact that I might fuck that up very badly.

Aephorul: *listening to Resh'an infodump about telescopes* I want to fuck you so bad it makes me stupid.

"I've offered to suck your dick on at least six separate occasions." "Offering to suck my dick in exchange for my last onion ring does not count. Come on. I thought you were joking." "I would never joke about onion rings!"

Immediately before the story, Nasreen gave Resh'an $40 and threatened him with bodily harm if he didn't ask Aephorul out. He never actually pays her back, but that's fine because she wins the bet with the rest of their study group on when the two of them were finally getting together.

Resh'an is literally the only person in their friend group who thought Aephorul was straight.

Aephorul doesn't actually realize that the other people in their friend group are, in fact, his friends.

There's ~25 years in between this and Life/Work Balance, but I'm probably not going to write any of that. Aephorul does go to med school, and then he nearly dies in a motorcycle accident; the accident completely derails his career trajectory and he never completes his residency.

His mother never stops looking at him like he's a disappointment, but he goes no contact with his family for a long time after the accident. It's fine. (It's not fine.) (He keeps in touch with one of his brothers, but it's a strained relationship.)

Other OCs that I love but won't write much of in this AU: Resh'an lives with his lesbian aunts when he's not at school, since his parents are also extremely terrible. (In Outshine the Sun, they're Solena and Luana. Here, they're a pair of new age hippies who keep chickens.) The more time Aephorul spends with them, the more convinced he is that Aunt Estelle murdered Aunt Anais' husband in the 80s. (He's not wrong! He and Resh'an get into arguments about this until one day Anais overhears them and is like "Of couse she didn't murder him for me. We murdered him together.")

I'm sorry, I'm going to be laughing at the sweaty palms bit forever. It was originally consigned to the scrap pile, but I'm glad I was able to work it back in.

[mncxbe]

Just an Ango thingy I decided to write because I miss Paris !! season 2 spoilers

5:40♧

𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒐 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: slight angst/ happy ending

The rattle of the rails reverberated through the entire tunnel, announcing the arrival of the midnight subway. It was a chilly autumn night and you were heading home from work. Just like every night, you were going to take line 14 from Châtelet to Saint-Lazare, then switch to line 13 to get to Saint-Denis, a total of 12 stops. This half hour trip to your crappy apartment was usually spent listening to music or reading the awfully long book you started the day you arrived in Paris two months ago; but not today.

As soon as the automatic doors of the subway closed behind you, your eyes landed on the poster glued to the tube's metal wall. It was a picture of the Ookagawa river in Yokohama, its banks lined with blossomed cherry trees. A sudden wave of nostalgia took over you and the memories came flooding in, echoes of the life you left behind.

You usually avoided thinking about your hometown and the people there; the memories were so fresh, the pain so vivid.

Only four months prior you were sitting on one of the high, rotating chairs at Lupin, celebrating Dazai's birthday with Oda and Ango, the people you considered your closest friends; your family. The drinks came one after another and except for Ango, who had his usual tomato juice, you were all tipsy.

"Ey Dazai. You've got enough to cover the bill, right?" you half laughed as you heard Dazai whine.

"But it's my birthday. Why should I be the one to pay?"

"Don't worry, birthday boy. I got you." said Oda in his usual calm voice.

You gently nudged Ango's arm, causing him to tense "You sure you don't want anything to drink?"

"No. Someone has to drive you home anyway." he replied without taking his eyes off of the glass in front of him.

Ango was the newest addition to your group; quite a reserved and stoic guy but you still liked him. He would often give you a lift after you had a few glasses at the bar.

"Alright. Suit yourself then."

That evening you parted ways, promising eachother to meet more often. Dazai left with Oda and you with Ango; the latter opening the passenger door for you.

"Angoo" you whined as you dropped onto the cushioned seat "My head hurts"

"Of course it hurts. You've had a lot to drink" he said in a slightly amused voice.

You noticed a few weeks prior that Ango would often let his guard down when it was only the two of you. It was a subtle change but you still noticed it: his shoulders were less tense, the line between his eyebrows would almost completely fade and he'd laugh more often.

During the ride home you looked at his profile. You were mesmerized by the way the city lights reflected in his glasses.

Without thinking, you reached for his glasses and snatched them, causing the man to almost crash into a nearby car. He managed to pull over in an empty parking space.

"Jesus, Y/N. I almost hit someone what are you doing?" he questioned in a harsh voice; but all his anger dissipated when he saw you propped against the door, adjusting his glasses on your face.

"Looook Ango. I'm pretty just like you now" you blurted out while smiling from ear to ear. A slight blush tinted his cheeks as he seized his glasses, earning another whine from you.

You were both quiet for the rest of the ride and by the time he pulled into the parking lot of your building you were almost asleep.

"Wake up, we're here" he spoke, gently shaking your shoulder but you only shurgged.

"Don't wanna go"

Ango looked at you for a few minutes, debating his next actions. He could let you sleep in his car, but that meant he'd have to spend the night in the parking lot. Or he could carry you to your apartment, which is exactly what he ended up doing.

Luckily the building had a functional elevator so he needn't walk you up the stairs to the 16th floor. He unlocked your door and walked inside your flat, placing you on the bed. Even in this drunked state you were pretty; laying on your side, your flushed cheeks like ripe apricots.

Just as he was about to leave you opened your eyes, calling out his name.

"Stay Ango please. Need to tell you s'mthing" you uttered while patting the bed. He cautiously took a seat and you pulled him down next to you, your arms wrapping around his torso.

He tried to protest but to no avail; you wouldn't let him go. Instead, you shifted closer to him, your face finding its way to the crook of his neck as you whispered a soft "I like you Ango" before drifting to sleep.

From then on you started seeing the man more and more often, the relationship between you growing by the day. It was still complicated; Ango was secretive and distant but you compensated with patience and trust. He eventually gave in and in three weeks time you started dating. It was one of the happiest months of your life; the usual missions were followed not by lonely nights, but by wonderful evenings spent in the comforting embrace of your boyfriend. "You did great today", "I'm really proud of you" he'd praise you, his fingers tracing random shapes along your thigh.

You'd often go on small dates: walks in the rain, late night talks under the starry sky on the top of his apartment building, a glass of wine in your hand, quick runs to the bookstore and occasional visits to different art museums; other times you'd simply join Dazai and Oda for drinks at Lupin.

But regardless of what you did in your free time, you did it together, your lives and routines slowly bleeding into eachother.

Your relationship ended abruptly on the day Oda died. When you found out about his involvement in your friend's death you fell to pieces. Although Ango begged you to stay, claiming that he never knew what would happen, that he didn't mean to hurt anyone, you couldn't be with him any longer. At least not now. No, you didn't blame him for Oda's death but he still lied to you and you felt betrayed.

The decisive factor in your resolve to flee the country was Dazai's disappearance. When you received his note saying that he'd left the Mafia and was going under the radar for a while, you booked a one-way flight to Paris, packed your few belongings and left.

Your recollection was interrupted by a loud chime that echoed through the subway, followed by the familiar mechanic voice that announced your arrival at the last station.

You quickly stepped out of the tube and navigated through the maze of tunnels until you reached the surface. A light drizzle had started while you were underground so you hurried home, eager to be confined in the comfort of your apartment.

When you opened the front door, the unopened envelope that lay on the ground caught your eyes. You picked it up and immediately recognized the handwriting. Without wasting a minute you tore the cover and procured the letter inside, your eyes scanning the paper.

Dear Y/N

I thought about whether I should reach out to you or not but I think it's time I did. Since you haven't been returning my calls I decided to write you a letter. It's been two months since Oda died and things are rough here; I just want to know if you're okay and safe. Please come home soon, I miss you.

Ango

You stared at the written piece of papern, tears forming at the corners of your eyes, clouding your vision. A few minutes later you neatly folded the letter, placing it on the countertop.

Maybe you were going to answer him, maybe you were going to go back to Yokohama, to him, but maybe you should think about these things tomorrow. But...

By the time you fell asleep, the night sky was already giving way to the rosy colours of the sunrise. The warm rays that entered the room through your large window fell onto your sleeping figure, illuminating the screen of your phone.

Suddenly, its display lit up and a blip announced that you had a new message:

I see my letter got to you, thanks for texting me. I'm really glad you're doing okay. Whenever you decide to come back I'll be here for you. ~Ango

[risu442]

It is so hard to write about this.

I was so young when I first heard a song by Gazette. I remember how those 4:40 minutes changed my life. It grabbed me immediately. I felt it in my bones. I had never heard anything like that before, but I knew I never wanted to stop listening to it. I was so young, it was 2007.

It was 2016 when I was able to see them for the first time. I remember how excited I was. It was my dream for 9 long years. I never thought I'd be able to fulfill that dream. I still remember someone telling me that it would be a disappointment and not worth it to see them from so far away. He was so wrong. Hearing their music live was the best experience ever. Their songs and their friendly attitude were everything. Thanks to them, I've made friends, I've traveled and experienced a world I thought I never can.

All the members are unique. Reita was "the funny guy". A little goofball. But he was much more than that. He loved Japanese literature and always cared about his health and the health of others. He was a best friend to his bandmates.

I still remember 2019 when I was lucky enough to meet them. I was so nervous. But he held my hand firmly yet gently. I can't remember what we talked about, maybe a little hi and tonight was awesome - the stress immediately made me forget. But I do remember his warm charisma. He wasn't just a clown, he was a warm and nice person. A really talented and hardworking one.I thought a lot about what it would be like when a member died. But I always told myself that it wouldn't happen for so long, they are still young. But it has happened. It is unreal. I can not believe it.

These guys have been a part of my life since I was just a kid. They gave me hope, a warm hug when I was lost, and enough strength to not throw my life away when I was in way too deep. The 5 of them are like an invisible family to me. They are always by my side when I need them. I can't belive one of them has left this world.

All I want to say..

Thank you Reita for spending your life making others smile. You have brought so much joy to everyone. Thank you for your hard work. Thank you for sharing your talent with us. You may not have known all of us, but we know you. And we love you, forever.

"The song is ended but the melody lingers on." Rest in Paradise, beautiful soul.

Reita thanking the fans for his bday

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls 2/16, There’s The Rub, The Part Where Paris and Rory Are SuperMegaGay And All Is Right With The World Again, Part 6

Paris just saved Rory's hide from the wrath of Dean (okay, she still got plenty of wrath from Dean, unfortunately, but it could have been a lot worse) and this is why Paris is my favorite Boyfriend, not Jess.

You can read parts 1-5 and all previous episodes here.

Omg, my cynical, cold, black heart can't take this tenderness. I love them so much. Long live PariMore! (finally thought of a ship name! woot!)

One of the most serious crimes commited by one miss AmyShermanPalladino in writing a Year in the Life is not taking advantage of the freedom of Netflix and the much more progressive year of 2016 by having Paris get a divorce at the same time that Rory is lost and adrift in her life and finally put these two idiots together. But no. They still didn't find each other and live happily ever after and Rory is still shacking up with Logan even when it's clear that neither Paris or Rory actually like men.

By golly. This is 2002, they said. It can't be done, they said. And yet, PariMore proved us wrong. They went super duper ultra mega gay. Netflix and Chill gay. Slumber party gay. Super Gay Fanfiction!

"Sort of."

Staaaaaaaaahpppppp!! 😭 We interrupt Super Duper Gay Lesbian Slumber Party and cut to Lorelai and Emily having a night on the town after their spa day. They meet a handsome older gentleman at the bar who offers a dance to Emily. In a shocking turn of events that further proves this episode comes from some alternate dimension where all is right with the world with the exception of Dean Forrester, Lorleai happily becomes her mother's wingwoman after some small initial resistance. Are you ok, Lorelai? Do you feel feverish? You haven't nagged, cockblocked, offered unsolicited advice, or butted into anyone's business in like, a whole 30 minutes. This episode has such great Lorelai and Emily banter, like Emily telling Lorelai "You let me get 60/40'd" and "Hookers eat at bars." "Only if they can't get a table." Terrific! But the handsome gentleman gets a little too close, Emily feels guilty about dancing with him and that puts the kibosh on that and Emily blames Lorelai for making her feel like a cheap floozy. Geez Lorelai, I guess you can't win. You're insufferable when you're being a cockblocking menace to society, but then when you actually do relax a little bit and alllow people do as they please, you get the business. Emily wonders why she can't have what Rory and Lorelai have and I don't know if a deeply fucked up mother daughter relationship forged from a teen pregnancy where the 34 year old mother is still about 15 maturity wise is something you want to aspire to. Rory reading the check in forms at her therapist's office 5 years from now: Form: "Reason for appointment?" Rory: "Hmmm..." Lorelai to Emily at the hotel: Rory and I are best friends, Mom. Best friends first, and mother and daughter second! (Rory in her therapist's office: "Ah. There it is.")

There are so many times Lorelai is this - close to having a breakthrough, where she exhibits a fleeting moment of self awareness then poof, it is gone. She didn't pause to think about the implications behind admitting "I'm my daughter's friend before her mother." She will never learn or grow or change. Oh well, that's our Lorelai!

Listen, stop the feuding, you both get a trophy for Sucking At Parenting. Is there any hope for Rory's spawn to break this generational curse? It would be interesting if Rory's future child turned out to be a boy, because like, I have to wonder what creative and different ways she could manage to fuck up a son? (as with everything I'm sure this exists as a work of fanfiction somewhere). Lorelai thinks spending a whole weekend with her mother was too intense and they should have started with something smaller to patch their relationship and grow closer. What is her idea? No, not therapy. Petty theft. They steal the robes from their hotel room. Yay, mother and daughter bonding and not healing any trauma whatsoever!

No, never. Only if it's a box of cornstarch, a boat, or another woman's husband. Emily enjoys the robe stealing caper, some sarcastic quips are exchanged, and the desperate, aching, deep seated emotional trauma being suffered by both parties is once again shoved down deep deep inside to fester like an infected wound.

She's totally fine you guys. We cut to Rory and Lorelai at the diner the next day where Rory is giving Lorelai the run down of the previous events, presumably minus the super duper mega gay sexual tension between herself and Paris. Lorelai remarks that Paris looked nauseous and tired when she woke up in the morning, which Rory attributes to a sugar overload, but we know better. We know how dehydrating all-night Blockbuster & Chill lesbian makeout slumber parties can be.

Oh right, Rory committed the felony of spending one evening with someone other than Dean so now she "owes" him her time. She is talking about it with a level of excitement in her voice akin to someone who was just asked to scrub a toilet. Of course, there could not be a mention of Dean without a deeply troubling response from Lorelai. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. Surely it will be something like, “Aw honey, he just yelled at you because he loves you” or something.

Eh, close enough.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! It gets worse! There's only a minute left in the episode! How does she do it, folks? She is truly breathtaking. Before we get there, let's enjoy some Literati bliss. Rory is catching on that the whole Food Delivery thing may have been a ruse from Jess to get all up in her bizzzness and almost pries the truth out of Luke, but Jess diverts Luke away from the scene. Jess and Rory then enjoy an incredibly rare, blissful moment together, free of interruptions, alone at the counter. Or so they think.

Sorry I almost called you a naive woodland fairy when I thought you still didn't get that Luke never actually told Jess to bring to food your house and USA here cooked up the whole scheme on his own. It's clearly Jess who's the naive one if he thinks you're actually going to pay for your food! Ha ha!

WAAAAATTT???!!! #AlternateDimensionEpisode #EpisodeFromOuterSpace #TheOneWhereTheGilmoresPayForTheirFood #IsAmyShermanPalladinoOK?

SOMEONE (two someones) are not happy about this budding, adorable relationship, one so stinking cute that you'd have to be sick to try to destroy it. Like someone who would try to stop a bunny and a puppy from cuddling. Gee, wonder who I'm talking about?

Just normal Butthead Business, staring into windows while people are trying to eat. We already know from prior Window-Peeping episodes this doesn't bother Lorelai in the least. Lorelai smiles sweetly at her ShnookyUkkums Dean as if 30 seconds ago she wasn't hearing a story from her daughter about his anger issues for the 400th time. He's also talking in his usual miserable serial killer monotone about "Spending the day with Rory" like he'd rather be sticking his arm into heavy machinery than spend time with her, and again I have to wonder why he is even bothering with her, other than the fact that she's an easy victim and that no other humanoid woman besides Lorelai would ever give this soggy cornflake the time of the day. L: Rory told me everything that happened last night. She feels terrible about it. You shouldn't feel bad. It was a "Freaky unfortunate thing that happens." She continues in her soft, flirty, gentle Talking to Dean voice, "It had nothing to do with Jess coming over, trust me, she did not want him there!" Um. Again, a very weird thing to say about Some Kid to the guy your daughter is dating? Thanks to one of my followers who pointed out that Rory never said this on camera which means Lorelai has now resorted to flat out lying to Dean in order to sabotage her daughter's friendship (and it's still only a friendship) with Jess.

Look alive Butthead. She's salivating. I think she's about to start humping your leg right there in front of Luke's Diner. Don't make me turn the garden hose on you Lorelai. Dean isn't listening or aware he's about to be humped. He's distracted. There's something he's incredibly concerned about. Rory and Jess....they're talking. To each other. In public. Now, Gilmore Girls knows how to do creepy. We've got plenty of stories of people stalking, eavesdropping, hiding in bushes, leaving excessive amounts of messages, Dean existing, yada yada. But this is easily one of the creepiest things to ever happen on this show. It seriously gives me the chilly willies. The eeby jeebies. The eepy creepies. They look like two villains who have joined evil forces to devestate....Lorelai's own freaking daughter.

Picture ID: Lorelai and Dean watching Rory and Jess have an innocent conversation creepily through a window, cementing their status as the villains in this wholesome drama known as Gilmore Girls. *deep shudder*

[babygirllinds]

WIP Masterlist

kitten - Icemav

Mav wears the collar Ice bought him to get what he wants in order to cure the feeling of emptiness he woke up with.

Very smutty (remember that self-indulgent fic I said I was writing a couple weeks back? Yeah, this is it)

Includes: dom/sub, cockwarming, slight daddy kink (I might indulge in this one more, but idk yet), dumbification/degradation, and I guess you could say petplay because Mav wears a collar and Ice calls him kitten/kitty, but Mav does not act like a cat

cowboy like me - Icemav

Song/lyric fic. Ice tries really hard to ignore the temptation of danger that is Maverick. He worked really hard to get where he was and his feelings for Mav could crumble that in seconds. Maverick is just in love and wants Ice to see that loving him might be worth the risk.

Smut/angst fic

This fic deals with Ice’s internalized homophobia and how he’s trying hard to ignore his feelings because it feels wrong, but also so, so right.

you’re my favorite secret - Icemav

Rear Admiral Tom Kazansky spent his whole life fighting to get to where he was. He’s the best of the best; entirely focused on his career and climbing through the ranks. That is until he meets a young lieutenant by the name of Pete Mitchell. He risks everything just to get a taste of life with Maverick in it.

Smut fic

Power imbalance relationship with a higher ranking military official. Obvious older man/younger man relationship with an age difference of 20 years (Ice will be in his 40s & Mav in his 20s)

stay in my arms - Icemav

Ice and Mav’s leave time lines up after months of not seeing each other and Mav invites Ice on a last minute road trip to go see Carole and Bradley. No matter how aloof Ice acts, he’s excited to be spending his time off with the man he’s in love with.

Smut fic that will most likely be turnt into a multi-chapter

Includes lots of mutual pining and only one bed trope!!!

words aren’t enough - Icemav

Sarah brings by a box of letters Ice had accumulated over the years, all addressed to one Pete Mitchell. Never sent and never seen, but holding all of the words he wasn’t brave enough to say. Maverick mourns a new loss in his life after already mourning the physical loss of Ice.

This is not smut! Surprise! I’d say it’s more T rated because of cussing and descriptions of homophobia, but it’s relatively tame for the most part, but lots of angst!!!

Descriptions of anxiety attacks and Maverick’s own internalized homophobia. Mentions of Ice’s death and how Maverick is navigating it.

the babysitter - Icemav

Pete is babysitting for the perfect family for extra money while in college. He adores the kids and the parents are absolutely gorgeous. He can’t help his budding feelings for the dad when he starts working from home rather than being out all the time for his job. He doesn’t plan on doing anything about his feelings, but then Tom Kazansky makes things difficult when he makes the first move.

Smut fic

Another power imbalance fic bc why not??? Obvious age gap relationship, but everyone is of age (Maverick is in his early 20s and Ice is in his late 30s)!!! Ice has a wife and kids in this one, folks, so cheating will happen

smooth operator - Icemav

Pete is straight… or so he thinks. He can’t stop thinking about Tom Kazansky — asshole extraordinare. He calls a phone sex line to help find where he stands on his sexuality. He asks for a man and winds up with someone named Ice. Ice is nice and comforting and he makes him feel good. He soon finds out that his true identity is someone he knows all too well…

Smut fic (I’m planning on making this a two-parter from both of their perspectives, but I only have some of Mav’s pov written at the moment)

AU!!! Frenemies to lovers type beat. Baby gay Mav trying to navigate his feelings for men (specifically Ice)

Let me Teach you a Lesson or Two - Icemav

Chapter 7: Tom decides it’s time to address his missing book but also rewards Pete for taking his pills consistently along with getting good marks on his recent exam.

Smut fic

Slips further into dom/sub relationship dynamics & soft dom!Tom really comes out to play (Pete finds out the wonders of being a rope bunny)

I saw him first - Slicemav

Chapter 2: Slider finds an opening when he catches Maverick alone in the locker room. Ice stumbles upon the two of them while looking for his RIO. The door ends up locked and Maverick finds himself being propositioned by both men. He’s shocked to say the least, but he’s not entirely opposed to the situation at hand.

Smut fic

Locker room sex because why not?

obey the motto - Slimav

Slider lives by the motto: flying comes first, loyalty comes second, and short pretty brunettes come last. Slider loves the feeling of being in the air, so he ensures he’ll do whatever it takes to keep that. Enter Iceman who becomes his pilot and makes sure they stay at the top by the way he flies. Then comes Maverick, the prettiest short brunet he’s met in a while. Then he witnesses the way Ice stares at Maverick and suddenly he’s reminded of his loyalty because without it, he’s not in the air being the best of the best.

Smut/angst fic

Lots of pining and unrequited love in here (between literally everybody). There will be lots of angst for Ice because Slimav is endgame in this

sweet on you - Slimav

Slider’s public distaste for Maverick to others is far from the truth. He finds himself with a soft spot for Maverick and enjoys the way they interact. It’s never-ending taunts and jokes that Maverick matches head on and makes Slider feel like he can be himself. Now he can’t stop picturing him in his bed and seeing how sweet on him he really was.

Smut fic

Friends to lovers and lots of pining

could this be more? - Slimav

Maverick keeps finding himself in someone else’s bed and then sneaking out in the middle of the night, but this time he finds himself sneaking out of bed with someone he knows personally. Slider proposes a solution.

Smut fic, possibly a multi-chapter fic

Friends with benefits to lovers!!! I’ve never done a FWB fic before so this is new, but I absolutely love the idea with Slimav

hungry for you - Slimav

Slider is face to face with temptation. Temptation’s name just so happens to be Pete “Maverick” Mitchell. Slider takes the leap and Maverick pulls him in further instead of pushing him away, much to Slider’s surprise.

Smut fic

Based on this post

you’ll always be taken care of - Goosemav/Icemav

Goose had always taken care of Mav — loved him with his whole heart. Then he dies. Goose watches Mav fall into a deep depression without being able to help. He aches to find a way to make Mav feel better again, but he can’t hear or see him. He then enlists the help of the one person who happens to hear him — Ice.

Starting out as an angst/fluff fic, but will most likely diverge into smut later on (if I decide to make this a multi-chapter)

Includes notes of depression & mentions of Goose’s death

shoulder to cry on - Icemav/Slimav

Slider is there for Maverick through his grief over losing Ice. Slider is hurting just as much at losing his best friend, but right now he’s just worried about making sure Ice’s husband is taken care of per his final request. Maverick knew that Ice was his soulmate, but somewhere along the way, Slider carves a spot into his heart.

Angst fic that will most likely diverge into a smut fic bc I can’t help myself

Everyone is hurting, then some pining happens

[marvelandponder]

15Qs and 15As!

Thanks for the tag, Marvel, this sounds fun! Tagging: @smallcrystals, @digikate813, @eddiescorner, and @bevinbrand if she feels like it :) Don't dox yourself on the 'where were you born' question tho, y'all. We're better than that. Are you named after anyone? Two people! My Uncle Stephen and my Nana (maternal grandmother). My brother was named after my dad's high school best friends

When was the last time you cried? I think the last time was a couple weeks ago watching anime. I love a good cry, I've embraced that that's how I express a lot of emotions

Do you have kids? Nope! I'd like to someday, but all in due time.

What sports do you play/have you played? I'm not a team sports kind of girl anymore, but I played soccer as a kid and really enjoyed that.

Do you use sarcasm? Usually only obvious sarcasm. Bevin and I will often use excessively obvious sarcasm with each other to express love. A little linguistic game we play with each other. We never enjoy spending hours and hours on the phone together. So unlike us! Where would you get that idea?

What is the first thing you notice about people? First thing? I feel like my anxiety is charge of that: looking out for how friendly they seem, what they laugh at (if they do), how approachable they might be. I had pretty bad social anxiety disorder from like 14 - 22ish and human beings tend to do the social thing once or twice.

What is your eye color? Hazel! Looks brown but up close you can see there's a lot of green around my pupils, too.

Scary movies or happy endings? My media diet is heavily skewed towards happy endings but every now and then, nothing satisfies like a good tragedy.

Any talents? People know I like the writing thing! I'm also learning to draw now and picking up guitar again for the first time since before uni!

Where were you born? A hospital about... 30 - 40 minutes away from me? I don't live in that city anymore, and haven't since I was 3, but we stayed in the same general province!

Don't dox yourself, folks!

What are your hobbies? Writing, drawing, guitar, going for bike rides or walks. Geeking out by myself or with friends! I'm also starting to learn some German and pick up a few more cooking skills.

Do you have any pets? Nah, wish I did. My living situation doesn't allow for it. But my dad has a dog who I love so much and get to visit! And my sister has two cats who used to live with us that are excellent cuddlers.

How tall are you? Uhhhhh I think 5'11? To use ancient Tumblr Lingo: Tol, not smol

Favorite subject in school? In Elementary - Middle School, it was English, because reading and writing. In high school, Psychology, Legal Studies, Guitars, History, or Writer's Craft

Dream job? Cool question, I'mma over-complicate it! For my career, it's either one of two things: Creative and/or helping people. Add another axis onto that: Stability vs. freedom. I like stability. It helps me feel happy and builds self-esteem to build stuff up. So since most of the creative jobs I'd be down to try have a lack of stability (and often crappy working conditions), I decided to start with stability and helping people! My current job is actually the goal I set for myself to get into in 5 - 10 years. So. Whoops! Got in early! I can't stay beyond this year (covering a mat leave) but wow has it been good experience. And it's cool shit that I like to think supports people in building something good for themselves.

Not a ton of creativity though, and so what's cool about life is that the time horizon isn't just right now, forever. The job I'm in now is a dream job of mine based on the criteria I set out (stable, treats me right, and helps people), but I have other dream jobs I'd like to also try out!

For example: I'd like to become a published author! And I'd also like to learn storyboarding to maybe try being a storyboards artist someday, or some job in animation.

What I like about the job I have now, too, is that I still have enough energy in and around my job to have a life outside of it. So I can build the creative skills that'll lead to cool stuff and opportunities down the line.

Having multiple dream jobs I think is realistic. And just kinda fun to not only achieve one thing, but look forward to what else I can do!

[thisaintascenereviews]

A 17th Anniversary Retrospective Of Lupe Fiasco’s The Cool

Rapper Lupe Fiasco is somehow the most underrated popular rapper. That’s an oxymoron, I know, but despite having a top ten hit in the 00s, he’s been largely forgotten about, at least in the mainstream. Not in the underground, where Lupe is still a critical darling. I just reviewed his newest album, Samurai, and it’s a great little rap album that showcases the best of his sound, all the while only being a half hour long. A lot of rap albums tend to be over an hour, which is a long time to spend with any album, but I can understand if that’s a detriment to getting into the genre. Not everyone has the time to spend with so many albums, or let alone the patience, whether it’s just exhausting or dense. Some rap albums can be dense listens, mainly for their lyrical content, but also for its production and sound, but Samurai is right to the point. It’s a half hour jazz-rap album that does its thing, all the while showing how good Lupe is all these years later. Even almost 20 years later, after his debut album, he’s still delivering really solid bars, production, and flows.

Lupe is one of those rappers that you just know you’re getting quality from, no matter what you hear, and that’s true. I’ve been a fan since 2015, back when I listened to Tetsuo & Youth, and I thought it was a cool album, but it was a dense and long listen. I was new to the genre still, only being into rappers like Childish Gambino, Chance The Rapper, Tyler The Creator, and a few more, but Lupe Fiasco’s brand of rap is lyrically dense, fast-paced, and intense at times. It’s still catchy and fun, but when an album is 70 minutes and over, it can be a lot, especially when not every song is a winner. I realized that after listening to Samurai that I haven’t listened to any of his first three albums. That’s when Lupe was in his prime, and when the mainstream cared a lot about him.

It worked out, too, because I found a vinyl copy of his sophomore album, 2007’s The Cool, for $20 on Amazon, when it was originally $40. Now would be the best time to listen to that album, so I’ve been listening to it for the last couple weeks, and I wanted to talk about it, albeit in a retrospective format, versus a full-on review. This album is considered a classic in the hip-hop community, and it’s easy to hear why, because this album is wonderful. I’ve had a lot of fun with this album over the last couple weeks, but I haven’t been going back to this one as much as Samurai, or as any other albums I’ve been spinning. I’ve been wondering why I haven’t gone back to this as much, but it dawned on me today. That’s what made me finally sit down and write this, but it’s because this album is a little too long and self-indulgent for its own good.

This album is 71 minutes long, and that’s not bad on its own, but the biggest issues I have with this album isn’t really with the music itself, it’s more so with the presentation and how there are so many ideas thrown into this album that it becomes overstuffed. I feel like this album runs out of steam by the last third, and with the last five songs, I sort of just zone out. With that said, this album is still a classic, because Lupe shows that he’s a great and versatile rapper, as well as a complex and clever lyricist with a flair for higher concepts and ideas. Some of those concepts don’t work too well, or at least as well as he thinks they do, but it’s not much of an issue when the music itself is good. A lot of the hooks on this album are killer, especially the top ten hit “Superstar,” “Gold Watch,” “Go Go Gadget Flow,” “Hip-Hop Saved My Life,” and a few more tracks, but Lupe is a great singer, too, and that’s something people don’t remember that much.

If anything, this album just suffers from having peaks and valleys. The peaks are just so high, it makes the valleys that much more noticeable. The last five songs on this album just don’t do much for me, and I zone out each time, unfortunately, but there are a lot of great tracks in the meantime. Like I said, Lupe sounds amazing, and for that alone, this album is worth hearing, but it’s kind of dense at times, namely for his lyrical content and how fast and technical he can rap.

That’s impressive on its own, but a song like “Little Weapon,” for example, is about guns and their relationship to children, whether it’s child soldiers in Africa, high school shooters, or kids who play violent video games and how they’re exposed to that kind of violence at such a young age, and that’s kind of a heavy topic. The song itself is quite good, both for Lupe himself, but Fall Out Boy frontman (and fellow Chicago native) Patrick Stump produced this track, and it sounds cool. Lupe would actually appear on Stump’s debut solo album on a remix of “This City” in 2011, and that’s how I found out about him at first. Anyway, the lyrical content can get heavy at times, and despite the songs being catchy a lot of the time, this isn’t really music you could play in the background or play for someone that doesn’t want something super dense or meaningful.

Samurai, though, is an album I could listen to whenever, because despite having complex and interesting lyrics, they’re not as heavy or intense as The Cool. The song “Dumb It Down” actually addresses that, and talks about how Lupe has to dumb down his music to sell records, so the hook is very simplistic and catchy, whereas his verses are complex. This record is a classic, and I can see why people absolutely love it, but it’s a lyrically dense album that’s still catchy and fun. I just don’t go back to it very much as other albums, because of how long it is, and how this album has its peaks and valleys. As an introduction to Lupe, this would be a good one, and The Cool is an album that people still talk about 17 years later, for good reason.

[praiseinchains]

Gratitude Journal Entry (6/30/24)

Today I'm Grateful For:

*My mental reset day!!!

*That I have new motivation to lose weight. For the next 3 weeks I'm doing a plant-based diet (to see if it'll help my bloating) and I have a Pilates workout I just got that's about 40 minutes. Really looking forward to seeing the aftereffects!

*That I got my poem done yesterday and that I actually liked it! That's how I know that writing is my dream and that I'm not following someone else's dream for my life. I could never listen to myself sing, but I can read my own writing, and I could spend all day writing.

Something I'm Proud Of:

That I am more self-assured and don't feel the need to do what others expect me to do simply to please them. It took a while and caused a lot of distress, but I've finally realized my own dream.

Tomorrow I'm Looking Forward To:

The official start of my writing challenge. EEP!!! For what I want to do, I'm going to have to do multiple poems a day (which there's no daily limit). Since I'm just getting into this, it's going to be a challenge, but I'm happy at the thought of spending most of my day focusing on writing. Despite how thrilled I am of getting started, I do have doubts: Will I be good enough? Will my poems be stupid? Will what I want to share come across how I want it to? But if I don't do this, I will spend the rest of my life regretting it and wondering what would have happened had I faced my fear.

[dojae-huh]

Wants to talk 2 things.. Firstly, since you mentioned koms,, yes jae does that all the time...he makes connection with anything that dy does in the past or present may b will in the future...let's take the songs he sing beautiful day song which dy sang at koms...eventhough it was fans suggestions but jae wanted to sing that song which dy sang at koms(dont knw the name) nd sang together at musicore karoake  with djj..nd also one of the cover that dy did he also sang it on his vlog(dont remember correctly but he did) ..like that list goes on....dont knw why...nd I am sorry for using this word..he is obsessed..very deeply nd hardly obsess with dy that he want to connect anything or everything with dy nd himself...it is really a lovely mystery how come his love didnt change a bit,rather increased only for dy....what does this man sees in dy tho...I dont knw..

Secondly,, it is my theory that everyone would get tired of everything at a point..its human nature that we cant really do something for a very long period..even if u loves to do that all the time it will makes u bored...be it caring, loving, dancing teasing etc...but jae he will not let go of a chance to tease his dy to get attention from him..y is that..when they seeing each other regularly..I mean I am pretty sure that they are living together..and if not atleast during promotion times they surely are together on regular basis...not only them the group as a whole...so jaedo sees eo on regularly..then y the need of getting attention or not letting pass of a chance to tease,, any how they will go home together..but no...that's not going to happen...he crave for his bae attention along as possible at anytime at anywhere...just I think they only knw to love eo...I dont knw what to write anymore....I just love them..

It is not true that people get bored with time of everything. You can overeat and still start to want to eat again after half a day. Mark sings for 2 units, he still goes to karaoke. Hyuk learns choreos for 2 units, he still learns dances of all other gg and bg groups. An old street-food cart owner will still be cooking in her 80s because cooking and hardwork is a part of her.

Read "The war of Art" by Steven Pressfield. The author damaged his first marriage, spent 2 years locked in a cabin writing a novel he never published, and achieved his first success as a writer only at 40. Writing was his passion and calling, he couldn't abandon his dream despite any obstacle.

There are couples of friends and life partners who spend everyday with each other and go everywhere together. I know such people. It is amazing how they can create a small world for two, but it is really to the degree of only one of them answering the phone and never meeting with you without the other despite you being a friend to both equally.

Jaehyun surprises me with his obsession as well. People like him are rare, it doesn't mean they don't exist.

There is a reason the halves of a tight couple start to say "we". And why there is this lore and myths about two halves of a whole. Our brain can extend its impression/image of the body outside of the confines of the physical body. A car or a sword literally become extension of the body of a master. Likewise, a partner becomes a part of you. You start to need him physically and not in a sexual sense.

DoJae work together, but they don't spend every minute together. Therefore it requires a lot for them to get tired of each other. On the contrary, because of the hiding and separate schedules, there is a lack of the time for two. And not just any time, time when they are both awake and energetic, emotionally open and ready to play. A working day is long, and Jaehyun needs regular bonding moments with his bae. He needs social grooming.

Ideally, the family is the safe fortress, a place to find shelter, love and relax in comfort. Granted, few couples or marriages are like that, this is why we find the "correct ones" so unbelieveable.

Doyoung is a source of Jaehyun's happiness. He provides love, support, advice, comfort, familiarity, opportunity to play, etc. Therefore an interaction with him lifts the spirits and helps to get rid of boredome or tiredness.

There are also people who need to be in love to experience the strong feelings of infatuation, the thrill or the butterflies in the stomack. Jaehyun is a romantic. Not just Doyoung, things associated with him bring him joy.

Heck, why go far. Look at the stans of idols. They are obsessed with a parasocial relationship, they don't get much in return from their crush, and they still can't live a day without a new picture of their bias; they can't pass an anti-comment without retaliation, they travel half the globe to attend a concert, spend their last money on paper and plastic trinkets; they archive twits, IG posts, notice when their bias changes earrings, trend new hair colour; they literally get sick just thinking that some event or rumour can hurt their idol. Look at Ling, she's been a Doyoung's fan since Rookies, she works a lot, and is still commited to sort through all the news and translate eveything asap. If anything, it gets worser looking at the new kind of thirsty twits she writes, lol.

Now, look at Do's dedicated fanbase, and now think how Jaehyun actually has the man near him in real life. Gets showered with unending attention and love, and the booty is also his.

[thecryptidbard]

Top 5....Gilmore Girls seasons >:) Rank them for me (You have permission to include whichever one is 6th, though that's also inferable from being left out I guess lol)

Ahdkahdkshfh PIGEON!!!! A thousand thanks for finally giving me a chance to put the ungodly amount of time I spend thinking about this show to use!! Gonna start with number one this time despite being anticlimactic simply because I have so much more to say about my very favorite ones lol:

#1: Season 1. It HAS to be first on the list. Admittedly, partly because I’ve watched this season more than any other. Partly also because season one is what sets up this whole crazy show—already we have Luke, we have Christopher, we have Rory-making-poor-romantic-choices, we have the absolute institution that is Paris Geller, and so on. But most of all, this season is number one for me because from the very beginning every single dynamic that will become so crucial to the show is all already in play here. The episode “Rory’s Birthdays”comes a mere six episodes into this show and it is a microcosm of the themes that are gonna be in play for all seven seasons to come with a beautiful and heartrending cyclicality. It sets up the premise that will become the trademark of this show at its best, of having 35-40 minutes or so of hilarity and the most over-the-top ridiculous family dynamics and unreasonable situations, followed by about 5 minutes that completely shatter your entire soul with how real and heartbreaking and horribly unsolvable they are. It is an absolute episode of television of all time for me and its just one of so many hits we got this season (the dynamics/parallels at play between Rory’s Dance and Christopher Returns are another favorite worthy of mention). Truly my only complaint with this season is that it took them so long to figure out what they were doing with Kirk’s character lmao.

#2: Season 4. It would have been so, SO easy for the show to go off the rails or completely change all its dynamics and lose what made it special when Rory went off to college BUT IT DIDN’T!!! “The Lorelais’ First Day at Yale” remains a favorite episode of mine, it’s so perfectly *them*, and I think it’s the kind of great writing we get all season that expands the realm of the show without losing its heart. That alone probably makes it deserving of the #2 slot lol, but it also earns it because of 1) some wonderful Richard and Emily moments and development 2) an episode filmed in my hometown and 3) Lane’s arc. Lane my beloved. This is HER SEASON, it’s such a good arc of her hitting a breaking point and then starting to build a life for herself that is actually *hers*, the scene where she and the band move into their own apartment and it’s gross and horrible and the guys are fighting about shelf space only to reveal so casually and matter of factly that the *reason* there’s no space is because they set a whole shelf aside so she can display her CDs is the single moment in all of television that I truly cannot watch without crying.

#3: Season 6. Admittedly, I’ve only seen some of the episodes in this season once or twice, so it’s possible I did have some issues with this season and have just forgotten them. I think this season had a *lot* of curveballs but they by and large worked really well? I think especially so much of the Rory and Lorelai fight was so well done and in character, as was a lot of the Luke and Lorelai angst; even when I was immensely frustrated with one or both of them for making terrible choices and fully yelling at the tv about it, it also felt like those terrible choices were…ones they would very likely make, for the most part. And this is the season that gave us the beautiful Paul Anka the dog!! I am also so nostalgic for this season simply because up until the revival this was the last Sherman-Palladino writing we got and oh man does it show in so many of the Season 7 plots 😭

#4: Season 2. This was by far the hardest one for me to rank. I considered making it #5 in this list, but I also had it as #3 for a LONG time, that’s how torn I was and how much I went back and forth on it. It is SO strong, it has so many really great episodes and perfect humor, and it’s one that I’ve rewatched many parts of just as much as I’ve rewatched season 1. There was a whole period of time where I genuinely styled my hair after Dean’s in this season, that’s how influential season 2 is to me. There really is just so, so much I love about this season.

However. In contrast to seemingly every other fan. I. Fucking. Hate. Jess. I HAAAATTTTTEE him, so much that his mere presence is enough to move this otherwise stellar season to fourth place (you will notice that season 3 does not appear on this list at all—that choice too is once again heavily influenced by Jess). If his character could exist in a vacuum, this season would for sure be ranked higher, but the fact is I don’t just dislike him, I dislike so much about the plotlines and arcs caused by his presence and interactions with the rest of the show. Absolutely no disrespect to his actor either, he is portrayed wonderfully he is just. So terrible to me. Jess my utterly beloathed.

#5: Season 5. I am quickly running out of steam on this lol so not as much to say for this choice, it’s just a truly solid season that I also struggled to place because it has so many strengths but ultimately not as many of the extremely memorable standout moments as some others (although it does have one of my very favorite cold opens, the one with the roomba), so it ended up being lower on the list despite still being one I really, really enjoy. It also, admittedly, might be the one I’ve watched least aside from 7 but we don’t talk about 7.

Much love to anyone who actually read all of this madness, and thanks again Pigeon for the ask!!! 💜💜

Ask me my top 5 anything

[tveitertotwrites]

A Moulin Rouge Birthday

Series: Open Heart

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Claire Evans)

Rating: General

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 1414

Summary: It's Claire's 30th birthday and the gang has a Moulin Rouge Broadway themed party.

A/n: So as you can see, today is Claire's (and my) birthday. I tried getting this up earlier but I wasn't finished writing but it is here now so enjoy!

For once in her life, Claire was excited to get up early. While she was a little happy about turning 30, she was more excited about the plans that were in store for the day. She woke up around 6 in the morning to see that Ethan was not in bed. She then stopped by Oliver’s nursery and neither Ethan nor Oliver were there.

Claire then went out into the kitchen and saw Ethan finishing making a cup of coffee while Oliver was sitting on the island watching. As she walked closer to them, they both looked up with smiles on their faces, which she returned. She then picked up Oliver before giving Ethan a kiss. Ethan had moved his hands to the sides of her face as they just admired each other, which made Oliver giggle. Ethan and Claire then shared another laugh before he pulled her in for another kiss and then removed his hands from her face to hand her the cup.

“Happy birthday my love.” He said as she took the cup and he gently took Oliver out of her arms.

Claire took a sip of the coffee and hummed from the taste. She then took another drink while looking at Ethan who smiled at her. She then looked at Oliver, who giggled when she smiled at him. Claire then blew raspberries onto Oliver’s stomach, which made both him and Ethan giggle. They all enjoyed this little time they had together for Claire’s birthday as Oliver was going to spend time with Alan while Ethan and Claire spent the rest of the day with their friends.

It wasn’t long before Alan came by to watch Oliver and the dogs. They all ate breakfast together before Ethan and Claire started getting ready for the party as they had a lot to do. It also didn’t help that they decided to shower together and ended up spending about 40 minutes in the shower instead of 20 like they were hoping.

Once the two of them were out of the shower, they both started with their hair. While Ethan only had to slick his hair back, Claire had to put her hair into pin curls so she could get it into a wig cap before putting on a wig that looked similar to the hair Satine has in the broadway version of Moulin Rouge. She was having a little trouble getting everything done with her hair and since Ethan’s hair didn’t take him long, he walked over to Claire to see what was going on.

“Need some help?” Ethan asked.

“Please.” Claire said with puppy eyes.

“Ok. Face forward.”

Claire did as Ethan asked and sat still while Ethan helped her with her hair. Claire was a little surprised when she saw the few pin curls that Ethan did and how good they looked. He was also able to help get the wig caps on and was able to pin the wig down by himself to where it would not move. When he was done she examined his work and then smiled at him.

“I love it. Thank you babe.”

“No problem, my love.”

Ethan then kissed the crown of her head and left her alone so she could do her makeup. As she was doing her makeup, Ethan was making the two of them some lunch, which she appreciated when he set it down next to her while she was finishing her base and starting her eye makeup. When she was done, she went over into the closet of their guest room to grab both hers and Ethan’s costumes from the closet.

Her sister Ava, who is currently working at a costume company, offered to make costumes that look very similar to what Claire was looking for and she was very grateful for it. Both Claire and Ethan ended up needing a little bit of help from Each other with getting parts of their costumes on. It was about 2:30 in the afternoon when they were all done and they didn’t need to leave until 4, so they decided to hang out in the living room with Alan, Oliver and the dogs until it was time to leave.

When it was time for Ethan and Claire to leave, they each gave Oliver a kiss on his head and said goodbye to Alan, Jenner, and Luna. Ethan had to help Claire get into the car as her costume took up a lot of space in the car. Once they were ready, Ethan pulled out of the parking lot and they made their way over to Tobias and Adelaide’s apartment for the party.

Adelaide insisted on having her best friend’s 30th birthday over at her apartment and Claire wasn’t going to disagree, especially when Adelaide said that she had the idea of doing a Moulin Rouge theme. Claire had no idea who was going to be what characters except for Ethan and herself. So she was surprised when both her and Ethan walked into the party room of the apartment complex Adelaide and Tobias lived in. Adelaide and Tobias were the first ones to greet the couple and Claire immediately knew who they were.

“Of course you two are Nini and Santiago.”

“Obviously, who else would we be?”

As the party went on, Claire looked around to see who was who. She was surprised to see that they got Bryce to dress up like Baby Doll. Aurora was La Chocolat, Jackie was Arabia, Naveen was Harold Zidler, Elijah was Toulouse-Lautrec, Rafael was The Duke, and everyone else was someone in the ensemble. It made Claire happy to see her close friends and family dressed up. She then turned to Ethan with a big smile on her face, which Ethan chuckled at.

“Do you like the party?”

“I love it.”

The two of them shared a small peck, to which Tobias noticed and cleared his throat.

“I know you two are dressed as lovebirds and are in real life but can the birthday girl go have fun in the party and not off to the side.”

Ethan rolled his eyes and the two of them laughed before exchanging another peck. Claire then went around to everyone and made conversation with them. After about 45 minutes, Tobias started playing the soundtrack to the broadway musical as everyone gathered around Claire to watch her open some gifts.

She loved everyone’s gifts equally as she opened them. Elijah got her some makeup, Jackie and Rowan got her a hair dryer set, Rafeal and Odette got her some phone cases, and Kyra and Naveen got her some jewelry, Aurora and Bryce got her perfume, Harper got her a day off for the two of them to have a spa day, Atlas and Sienna got her some shoes, and Adelaide and Tobias got her a guitar, which she knew Adelaide had more part in because Claire said something about it o her on one of their shopping trips.

Then it was time for Ethan’s gift to her which people leaned in closer to see. He sat down next to her and sighed before handing her the box. She gently opened it to see another small box and an envelope.

“Open the box first please?” Ethan asked.

Claire opened the box to see a small ring inside. The ring had alternating diamonds and emeralds all the way around, which she loved. She then looked at Ethan with the ring in her hand before setting it down on the table with the box and envelope and gave him a hug, which made him and everyone else laugh.

“You’re going to want to open the envelope first before you give me a hug.”

She then smiled and grabbed the envelope before gently ripping it open. Inside were four tickets to go see Moulin Rouge. Two were for April 9 and two were for April 11. She knew why Ethan chose those two specific dates and smiled at him again before gently going in for another hug. Once everyone else had seen what Ethan had given Claire, they all laughed and smiled.

“Thank you.” Claire whispered to Ethan.

“You’re welcome Sweetheart.”

Ethan gently grabbed the ring and slid it on to Claire’s right middle finger. The two then exchanged a look with each other before Claire stood up and thanked everyone for their gifts. The party went on for a few more hours and Claire considered it to be her best birthday yet.

Perma tags: @bendriversolo @crazy-loca-blog @rookiemartin @zahrachoices

Ethan Only: @cariantha @ofmischiefandmedicine​

[thisismehappy]

I need, for when they finally have their *conversation* for it to be long single takes. Few edits. Id prefer a bottle episode. Stuck somewhere. No choice but to talk it out. In the words of Abed from Community "They're wall-to-wall facial expression and emotional nuance"

Basically I want a play.

Do i want the script to have an outline and have M and C improv the rest? Also probably.

Sorry! I think this got buried in my notifications! I don't get very many asks and I just saw this in my inbox which I never usually look at.

This was a lot so I figured out how to add a cut. See below. 

Generally, I'm not a *huge* fan of bottle episodes. Pragmatically speaking, bottle episodes serve a purpose in the TV industry as a low-budget episode because they only need to use one set for the whole episode and there are no location shots and relatively few actors and probably no extras. That puts a huge amount of pressure on the writing and the actors and it is, as you say, more of a play format which makes sense given everything I just mentioned. Most of the time they feel, to me, like the writers and production team are trying to *do* something in a way that as an audience member I don't actually want to be aware of. Like maybe they're swimming beyond their depth. It feels forced, is what I'm saying. Forced and itchy and uncomfortable and I find myself checking the time every 2 minutes waiting for it to end. So I almost never hope for a bottle episode.

BUT I have really liked Mariska's bottle episodes on SVU. I'm thinking specifically of Something Happened, Part 33, The Year We All Fell Down, and 911. None of which were perfect bottle episodes, as I recall, because they did have some movements to other sets and some location shooting and things like that. But any 43-minute show that has Mariska on my screen for 40 of those minutes is fine by me. And she tends to do really well with them. I get the feeling she enjoys the challenge and so she puts a lot of herself into them. She won a freaking Emmy for 911 after all. I also think if it was an EO episode, she would be so beyond focused on making it perfect bc this has been her dream really since day one imo. (There's a clip floating around if Chris giving an interview in season one and Mariska runs up and hugs him and says, "He's playing a detective that's in love with his partner," or something along those lines.) And I think Chris would be great at it too. So all that to say, I do think the actors are up to the challenge.

I worry about the writing a bit though. While I understand where you're coming from, I'm not sure I'd agree about them just ad-libbing it bc to me this is something that needs to be pretty carefully thought out with a clear understanding of the implications of the words and a pretty specific memory of the past events they're discussing and the actors are great, but they've been part of this for 24 years and aren't going to remember everything. Someone needs to go back and reference old episodes. If a bottle episode happens, I want that script to be *crackling* with subtext. I want to hear Elliot apologize for not being there and Olivia say, "I know you can't spend your life looking over your shoulder to make sure I'm okay." I want them sharing a drink. I want her to have to blink a light at him to show she's okay. I want him to ask if anyone's taking care of her. And I want him to cradle her in his arms like he did in fault and spooked. I don't expect all (or realistically any) of that too happen, but I think a carefully, beautifully written script would do this moment the most justice. Idk if the writers are up to that or not, but they've been showing us things this season that (mostly) give reason to hope.

The actual plot of a bottle episode is where I get tied up though. SVU is a police procedural above all else and every other bottle episode they've ever done has been related to solving the mystery of a case. An interrogation, a hostage situation, a mystery girl on a phone, and argument in a court house waiting room. These are what we've seen before and what we would expect to see from a show like SVU. An EO bottle episode is uncharted territory. Is there a case that's going to be taking up half the plot? I cannot imagine them really talking unless they were alone so that rules out most of what we've seen before. (Although, Olivia having to interrogate Elliot for a crime while half the department stands on the other side of the window does sound *delicious*.)

A court house argument could work, with the aspects of the case hitting *all* the wrong buttons for them, but it's been done before. Some kind of escape room type scenario could be really fun and interesting. Where they're trapped somewhere and need to solve a mystery to get out. That could be on point and very them, but unless it feels like life-and-death, idk if there would be enough of a driving force to get them where they need to be emotionally.

If I were going to write a fic about it, it would be a situation where they were maybe chasing a suspect or investigating a location and no one really knows exactly where they are and they get hurt and trapped somewhere. Personal preference, I would have her more hurt than him. I want it to be kinda enclosed so maybe it's triggering her claustrophobia (which she has if it's my fic). I want him to need to pull some of her clothes off to help with her injuries and find her scars from William Lewis. I want her to ask him to take Noah if she dies. I want him to be in serious pain from his own injuries but feral to save her. Maybe in the end, his recovery time is worse bc he does something stupid to get them out. I think the fear of death and of missing their chance to be together might be what it takes to make it finally happen. These two are very stubborn. If they were just trapped in a room together with no other problems idk if they'd get there. (Maybe, he's pretty motivated now, so that would help. But idk if he's going to push her too hard if she's really fighting him in it.)

Also, they're gonna kiss if it's my fic, and imo, their grievously-injured bodies are about the only thing I think would keep them from going all the way the first time they kiss. And I don't mind that either, but the idea of them finally being together, but having to wait 6-8 weeks to get medically cleared for sex sounds really fun. The first day in the hospital is very *serious* but the second day features them both trying to check out AMA and him hobbling his way into her room and making out with her in a hospital bed. They're going to get busted multiple times by different people. And yes, realistically they should be traumatized, but things worked out in the end and they've got the world's best security blankets. And I think even Liv's shrink would tell her to go for it.

[lumineescente]

Day 8!

Today was my day off I still did a lot of cleaning during the morning but then spent the day in Avignon first eating ice cream (I'm on a mission to try all original flavours!! It's almost 40 degrees outside it's a nice mission) and writing for a little bit in a cafe which was very nice I could start planning my fest fic

Then I wandered around a bit went around the Rhône and the historic city to take pics for my grandma, and then ate at a vietnamese place because I can

It was so good to spend the day alone and eat alone and do whatever I want!!

Then I went to the theater to see a dance show that I was expecting to see since February and god... GOD you know it's the kind of show that I know will change my life.it was about family reunion and to exist in the complexity of a family and what can I say I cried in the first minute, the dancers through their bodies showed so much emotions, the way they all shone through their own style (popping, hip hop, even voguing!!) and yet blended so perfectly together. I am not an expert in term of dance although I love it very much and have been dancing all my life, so I cant really talk about technicality but I felt so many things, it portrayed the toxicity that family can have but also the tenderness and the strength they can give... what a beautiful and special moment

In terms of scenography the white floor and just a rectangle of black easily represented the dinner table, there was also a very interesting work on the lights that I really enjoyed and oh the music was very electronic and touching very loud and rhythmic sometimes overwhelming like it is for me to be with family.

There was especially a beautiful scene where the dancer kept "melting" falling down and every time another dancer would catch him right before he could touch the ground, they would hold them so gently, so tenderly I could not help but sob. Even though at the end the hold was not enough... I'm getting emotional once more

A little bit of show analysis because I dont know who else to tell all this??? So emotional show analysis for yall💖

[ynwa-chiesa]

SHAM!!!!! if u could write a little paragraph titled 'shamcore' what would be in it 👀💖

to be honest, the shamcore of the past weeks has been unnecessarily stressing about exams and it being a 50/50 chance if I'm excellent or almost fail....but let me get the vibe let me check

i wrote so much i had to put it under a readmore :/

ive been listening to all i care about from Chicago for the past 2 hours, I've bought a potted coffea arabica plant and its in a coffee mug and sitting on my desk rn, i have been maladaptive daydreaming a lot lately, I've developed a new world (i cannot tell you about, cringe) ..... hm i think of stars but the like ✦ this one a lot like an unhealthy amount i sometimes plan on what i will have to think about a bit longer to understand (i recently spend a few minutes thinking about reflective surfaces and also i have been planning to think about fridges but i NEVER have the TIME ugh!!) i think about my house in Croatia that is cold and can be only heated by the aircon and I'm so exited because i have a double bed there i think about plants whose roots are visible because they are in glasses (because flies infect our neighbourhood and if i have plants in dirt they lay their eggs there ..) also i think about walks and walking and the cold and the sun and the wind and being shaped by everything around you...i think about pouring 30 hours into okami again and again I'm thinking about an overheated laptop running 4 illegally downloaded games i am always thinking about the endless ocean franchise and how i would design the perfect 3rd game I'm thinking about 40 nail polishes I'm thinking about stars again no wait I'm thinking about the deep ocean again also nihilism I've been thinking about the meaning of life a lot you know just in general.....those thoughts are also happening in my scheduled thinking time...you know I've recently found just thinking about stuff enjoyable, just figuring stuff out, it calms me a lot....I've begun hating a lot again but its all legitimate also I've been thinking about shapes not ✦ but simple dots and triangles and hearts and medieval fashion such as armour and dresses about indo european potterware about the simplicity of prehistoric life of humanity and our place in the world I've been hoping a lot lately but also not caring i think i sometimes still feel my brain developing and it makes me feel uneasy... i love comparing random items too (designated thinking time) I'm thinking about touching stone and dirt and smelling every flower i see i am very close to complimenting strangers but I'm still uneasy about that I've been deeply imprinted and now I feel paranoia constantly also all i want has been playing this entire time I'm supposed to be studying ethics rn i am so sorry but i truly believe this is what shamcore is in its core

in one picture? ✦ and yellow and blue and purple and ancient patterns and modern light and the ocean and the forests and rivers who are ancient and will never go away

wait theres also 10 fandoms on my mind all the time