#I still don't understand why people have such violently negative reactions to things they don't agree with

[iavanr]

im so frustrated every time I talk to my dad and it somehow devolves into him spouting transphobic sentiment (usually in a huge reach leap of logic that immediately devolves our conversation). This is a new development. I'm so tired. Transphobia is what it is but I hate how it's genuinely rotting people's brains and stopping them from having more nuanced conversations bc they think whipping out their transphobia card is this huge gotcha. U fucking dumbass you've gotten stupider. Love how he was using it to argue for eastern culture being superior bc we're more controlling and disciplined etc etc "look what happens when westerners give their children too much freedom"

[kaisaniku]

I finally finished the second chapter of this doodle comic!

Basically from a translation machine:

It's called notes, but it's really bullshit time:

(I didn't put any asterisks in the "text" in order to make the picture cleaner and not make this little comic seem too serious)

①WX says that their body "doesn't have any of those really advanced things" and that "the concept is just bionic", which might make you wonder how WX can agree with their own shortcomings when they are always been so confident in their own machine body. This is kind of a guess: WX's comments in the wiki about Wagstaff being "afraid of progress" and "short-sighted", combined with WX's usual machine-worshiping and violent tendencies, such as their comments about Maxwell "He has that kind of power but he doesn't go out and destroy human". So it's an offense to them, but they actually agree that even though they claim to be superior, I guess WX would like to see their bodies more advanced and even more radical.

② Yes, this WX has acceleration circuits installed.

③ Gnome get✓ Do you guys remember the line where WX checks the Gnome

④ "You're not as kind as you look", how should I put this one, because the Wilson I understand is more or less with a little bit of darkness in his mind, he's someone who is full of emotions but often restrains them with reason, he fears and hates the negative impulses and instincts within himself. And this trait I think probably comes from his good nature, his education and survival experiences and the influence of the Shadow Throne. (But honestly after suffering in CONSTANT for so long, it's normal for whoever it is to be a little psychologically unhinged, not to mention the SANITY setting.) And after WX's soulwalking, they easily have some "psychic empathy" with Wilson... ...... Well, how did that happen Wilson?

⑤ Well I know the reasoning of the empathy module episode is weird ...... In fact, it's mainly because when I drew this plot I didn't have a good understanding of the empathy module, and simply thought of it as something like "emotional deficiency", so this episode was supposed to be Wilson saying "why do I still feel emotional ups and downs blabla" and then WX explaining that it's because of "memories of emotional experiences", which would have made a lot more sense.

⑥I guess it's my own personal setting: although the game doesn't make a distinction, I don't think WX as a robot would have a "headache and blurred vision due to lack of sanity". The system will be affected, sure, but the physiology won't necessarily feel it. It's hard to go from luxury to frugality, and since there is no experience in the eternal realm in the human era, WX can't adapt to the negative impacts of sanity reduction at all.

⑦Wilson's curiosity and desire to explore and then equipped with WX's hardware strength is simply ON FIRE. and "adapting to the human body so quickly" this conclusion mainly comes from the last chapter when the two people just transformed the body, Wilson's side is very difficult, while the WX on the contrary, it seems to be very easy. Even when they suddenly possessed internal organs, blood, light weight and so on, there was no adverse reaction. Wilson, who loves to observe, has always had suspicions (sorry however I didn't draw this clue out)

⑧ on the one hand, just learned a shocking secret, excited and energetic Wilson, on the other hand is the history of the exposure, and is also experiencing unprecedented headache WX. so the two temperament is not quite the same as usual.

⑨ "Wiped of most of their human memories" from the game's credits: "Suddenly recalling the memories of his past life, WX-78 soon decides to change his fate on his own."

⑩ Those of you who have fought Shadow creatures online might know that the only way a teammate's Shadow creature will have hatred for you is if you've forcibly attacked them. What happened here is that WX forced an attack on Wilson's Shadow Creature (except that Wilson was still relying on his headache of empirical judgment and didn't realize that his SANITY was too low), and then WX's own shadow creatures that were looming all showed up as well, which is why it became so much more. I don't have a very comprehensive understanding of this mechanic online though, and it doesn't seem to be very rigorous, so that's probably what it is anyway.

I accidentally added a lot more, mainly because of the limited ability to express the drawing ... Hope you enjoy!

[uselessheretic]

When it comes to Ed and addressing his issues around things like mental health, trauma, and anger issues, I understand the kneejerk reaction to deny that he has any of those traits due to not wanting to stereotype him, but I don't think that really solves much. Ed is someone who is severely traumatized, forced into a world where he had to take care of himself from a young age, and never given a chance to learn things like healthy coping mechanisms. He's going to develop in ways that are maladaptive as he searches for a way to just survive.

A lot of the time, people will say things like "Ed doesn't have anger issues because whenever he gets mad he's valid" and I get it, I do, but it just? Doesn't work that way? When a room full of people makes fun of you, you can't just go in there and shoot everyone even if they hurt your feelings. Not just because that's a wild ass thing to argue as correct, but because it directly endangers himself and others. Even if he's fucking Blackbeard, that's still a huge risk of him being harmed. Characters like Oluwande and Frenchie would also be at risk where maybe people can't stab Blackbeard, but it's possible someone might take a chance on one of his companions if they think they're a part of this.

Denying that these problems exist doesn't do anything. It doesn't strengthen his character and it doesn't engage with him in a way that humanizes him to allow for growth. He's not gonna marry Stede and suddenly never be angry again and nobody ever makes him feel sad ever again!

I understand that the thought process here is that men of color are stereotyped to be angry and violent, and therefore, it's racist to interpret Ed as having these traits. That doesn't really solve anything though because it doesn't engage with the problem past a surface level. Moc are stereotyped as being angry... Why? Because it's a way to justify enacting state violence and control them. Sure, you can say "Ed isn't angry though so there's no need to put him through the system" but that narrows the scope down to him as an individual that relies on him never being angry to rescue him from that.

Because what happens when moc are angry? When they are violent and you're not able to just deny that and move on? Do we just abandon them?

Obviously not. When we base a person's humanity off a prerequisite that they can't embody any of the negativity the state is seeking to control, we inadvertently justify the violence imposed onto those less able to hold themselves to, frankly, impossible standards. It's another way of trying to appeal to respectability politics.

So instead of denying these parts of Ed, we can look more closely at them.

Ed's moments of anger are often prompted by him experiencing hurt. He's made fun of, he's been tricked, a snake fell on him, he feels abandoned. He has a tendency to go from zero to one hundred very quickly, and often will react to things with the same level of intensity regardless of what is actually triggering it. This makes sense though when you remember that he's a severely traumatized person who went through substantial abuse as a child! Often, people experiencing things like c-PTSD lose their ability to accurately gauge threat levels, meaning that if they want to survive, they are on constant high alert for any possible danger. Anger is a natural reaction to this, and his trigger for going off is hypersensitive as a result. Something like this helps explain why Stede leaving him, and Izzy subsequent antagonism, hit him like a fucking truck.

When Ed expresses anger, it often comes coupled with reminders of his trauma and greatest insecurities. Making fun of him for growing up in poverty, saying he can't have friends, poking at his breakup and fear of abandonment. He has direct flashbacks to his childhood with some of these, becoming forced to relieve times when he was at his most powerless. This lack of power pushes him to try and regain that control. He's not poor! He has more riches than you can shake a stick at! You can't make fun of him for how he eats, do you have any idea who he is? He's fucking Blackbeard! Choose your next works carefully, dog, and decide if you want to bring up Stede anymore.

It's instinct. As much as jerking your hand away from a burning iron. He's being hurt, he needs to make it stop.

But it doesn't work. Not only does it not work, Ed knows it too. He may have more riches, but the French captain will still view him as something vulgar. He's fucking Blackbeard, but what does it matter if the party will continue laughing at him? "There he is..." The Blackbeard who Stede abandoned, the same as always.

In a world of cartoon violence, there's little care Ed needs to afford towards the lives he takes. That's not the problem. The problem is that the harder he tries to maintain control, the more he loses it. And the less control he has, the angrier he becomes. And the angrier he is, the more desperate he becomes to keep himself safe.

Ed is playing a game rigged against him from the start. He exists in a system meant to antagonize and hurt him while surrounded by vultures waiting for him to prove them right that he does lack discipline where no matter what action he takes he loses. How could he be anything other than furious about it?

His anger is a perfectly logical reaction to his situation, and there's no point in denying that it exists like it's something shameful. Ed needs tools to help him cope with this, a support system that has his back, and an environment that nourishes him instead of constantly putting him at risk of dying.

[lansplaining]

Protagonist-centric readers will do anything but admit that their MCs did lie and impact other characters' decisions. It's not the side-characters fault that they did not know the whole truth because *drum roll* they weren't told anything and/or was deliberately lied to.

LQQ being hated bc he impaled XL in a coffin for a long time but like... XL admitted to killing the King of Yong'an and committing the bloody massacre so what was LQQ supposed to do? Sit down and ask his Guoshi for the truth when we know damn well XL will just continue to admit to it? XL didn't want to tell LQQ the truth to protect LQQ and the two groups of people, and that's completely admirable, but what LQQ saw was his Guoshi stabbing a sword through his father's chest and admitting to everything so him reacting the way he did was completely valid. The single act of killing the king was treason 100x already, and as the son of the king, LQQ's reaction was not out of the ordinary. we don't want XL to suffer and be even more traumatized, but XL already knew that the consequences wouldn't be pretty and lied anyway. idk why fans can't grasp that.

Or for JC's case, HE IS LITERALLY THE ONE PERSON ALIVE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD WHO ACTUALLY DESERVES SOME KIND OF EXPLANATION FROM WWX HIMSELF, THE MAN WHO ACCIDENTALLY CAUSED WN TO KILL JXZ AND INDIRECTLY KILLED JYL DESPITE CLAIMING THAT HE HAD EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL. These two aren't strangers to JC at all; they're his sister and his brother-in-law, or more importantly, his sister's beloved husband and father of his nephew. He deserves to be angry and bitter at the one person who did all that, and there is no time limit for how long he should remain bitter and angry about it. The GCT was a whole mess and they both made HUGE sacrifices out of love but the only one whose sacrifice is made invalid is JC because one, it was short-lived and two, they already didn't like JC so no matter what he does for WWX, it will be seen as something negative.

I don't even want to get into the hell-hole regarding LXC but... damn...

the revelations after a character found out the truth should be "oh man, so that's what really happened" not "this character was a dick because they didn't know about the major sacrifice the MC made for them that would only be revealed many years later, and it's not even voluntary because someone else told the truth, not the MC themself"

I'm not the first nor am I the last person to say this but a protagonist is just a character we see, mainly, from their POV or the character that we follow the story through. That's all there is to it. I feel like a lot of danmei readers have yet to read a variety of stories about an MC that's completely shit but serves to tell a story just as important and interesting.

okay, first of all-- people hate LQQ?? The sweetest, most violent himbo of all????????????? even Xie Lian doesn't hate him for what he did??????

i have nothing to say to such people

i'll be honest, it is really only relatively recently that i've fully come to realise how completely Jiang Cheng deserves an explanation or even just acknowledgement of any kind from Wei Wuxian, and how cowardly and selfish it is that Wei Wuxian refuses to give it. and I say this with a heart full of love for WWX-- he is dealing with Some Trauma (tm) but that doesn't mean his refusal to even speak to JC isn't hurtful and unfair, even if it's what he needs... but man everyone in fandom and fanworks is focused on WWX taking what he needs in this situation and not even remotely considering that just maybe he also justifiably owes something to someone he harmed and who he supposedly (formerly?) cared about (i think he still cares)

the lan xichen thing is literally inexplicable to me and i will never understand it

[cf56]

My thoughts on episode 10

SPOILERS for season 3, episode 10 of the Animaniacs reboot

So that's great. I took two hours to write this entire review, and then with one press of control + Z, it was completely gone. Great site Tumblr. Really works as intended.

I was in a better mood, but having to rewrite this ENTIRE thing sucks so badly. I try to give my genuine thoughts as I go, and it's impossible to replicate that on the second try. I want to scream. Why can't this week just go right?

So now you're getting a negative opening for what was a super positive review. I seriously want to punch a wall. A website meant for long posts doesn't have an editor designed for them. That's just great.

I can't rewrite that whole thing. Just have a collection of screenshots and some jumbled thoughts.

I'm sorry for Pinky and the Brain fans that their final showing was so short. I didn't like Brain talking about the "endlessly repetitive formulaic rebooted franchise that relies on just a handful of tired characters." You can say it's the writers taking a shot at themselves, but it really isn't. It's not their show. They didn't create the characters. Combined with the ending, it just feels a little disrespectful to the people who put their heart and soul into creating this show in the first place, and to the fans who genuinely love these characters.

Look at them being silly!

I can't gush enough about the song. Such cute animation, such powerful music!

I teared up while listening to it this time. I'll probably do the same on every future watch.

I liked that Wakko was right about everything and had the idea that saved the day. The Warners literally saved the world and they'll still be treated like garbage by everyone around them.

The Joe segment was funny, especially the zoom out at the end. I liked hearing "Waltzing Matilda" in the background.

Dot was so cute wanting to go on the teacups, just being infatuated with the idea of spinning around in a little teacup!

This segment is the epitome of "this is my life now."

Poor Wakko has the worst luck. The SAME CLOWN just happened to be at this carnival? At least we know he got down from Mars.

I thought it was weird to have two cataclysmic endings for the reboot six minutes apart from each other. Although they say this sketch was written for season 1, I find it really hard to believe that this wasn't originally meant to end the season/reboot, especially with Dot's quip at the end. I'm not sure I would want this to be the ending, though. It would have sucked if the Warners were the ones who explicitly ended their universe and killed everyone inside. That would have proven everyone right about their destructive nature all along.

I thought this was a refreshing segment. Slappy sounded and looked great. Like I expected, it was short and there was no Skippy, but I'm happy it exists. I was surprised and happy to see that they got Sherri Stoner to return for work on the reboot.

I liked how Everyday Safety was just a never-ending cascade of total nonsense.

The Council is not pleased.

I thought Wakko's bottle song was catchy. I liked that it actually sounded like Wakko blowing. I wonder if they got Jess to do that for real in the studio?

And the ending. I wrote four paragraphs about it, and it sucks so bad because I thought I made my points quite well. Let me try again.

I understand the metaphor with the abrupt and sudden ending. I know the asteroid is meant to represent Hulu. I just don't think they should have pushed their bitter disappointment with the show ending directly onto us. They should have thought it through a lot better.

If they were going to go doom and gloom, which they shouldn't have, they should've at least given the ending some emotional weight. How am I supposed to feel anything when the characters themselves don't show any reaction to their unexpected, oncoming violent deaths? I'm not saying it should have been super depressing with crying and begging. They just should have given a genuine reaction instead of doing business as usual. The closest set of siblings in the world is about to go out in a fiery blaze, and they're not even touching each other. They're just standing near each other awkwardly. Have them embrace and accept their death with a positive remark about how it was all worth it. That would at least give some closure.

What they should have done, if I could rewrite it from scratch, is give us a satisfying, happy ending. Show the Warners finally earning their freedom from the tower after 90 years. Maybe have them gaze at the sunset together, mirroring how the sun rose at the very beginning of the reboot. Even if they didn't have time to animate new scenery for something like that, anything would have been better for this. This ending just feels empty. It lacks any emotion besides pure shock and it feels like an F you to everyone who cares about the show. The creators might have intended that F you to feel like it was coming from Hulu, but Hulu didn't write this scene. The reboot writers did, and they had the power to leave us with something better. This could be the last Animaniacs we ever see.

I'm at least happy they attempted an ending. The original didn't have one at all. It just sucks that Animaniacs had to end unexpectedly and unsatisfyingly both times it's been suddenly cancelled. The reboot was supposed to fix that.

This was perhaps the most entertaining episode of the season for me. It has one of the greatest Animaniacs songs ever, maybe the best song of the season, I'm still not sure. I still love The Island of Dr. Warneau a lot, so I'm giving this episode a solid second place in my final ranking for the season.

Episode 6

Episode 10

Episode 3

Episode 9

Episode 7

Episode 4

Episode 2

Episode 1

Episode 5

Episode 8

That means that the majority of episodes this season are episodes I would consider really good. The top 4 are all episodes I would consider really great. I'll give my thoughts on the season as a whole in my collective season 3 review, but I'll need a few more days before I start writing that. I need some time to collect myself and reflect.

I'm sorry for how this review turned out. The first version felt a lot more positive, because in this attempt I just wanted to express my more well-developed thoughts, which happened to be criticisms. I liked this episode a lot. I just so desperately wish I hadn't lost that first version. It only adds to the most heavily conflicting mix of emotions I've ever felt in one week. I was feeling good, and now I'm knocked down again. I'm sorry to be the one putting so much negativity into the fandom. I want this to be a positive place for all. If I wasn't able to express my emotions here, though, I wouldn't be able to deal with them at all. So thanks to those that have been listening.

I encourage you to add to the discussion of this episode if you want. If you're from the future, please don't say anything about any of the episodes that come after this ;)

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[shake-this-poet-out-of-the-beast]

Coping Mechanisms in MDZS

TLDR: Explaining the JC debate from a psychological perspective. Its all about coping mechanisms.

CW: SH, Trauma

*For context, I am a psychology student (nerd) & wanted to understand why people see the same characters differently. I personally like JC & can appreciate why he acts the way he does but I can also appreciate why so many people think he's an asshole. Interpretation is up to the reader, so think whatever you want. I just thought it was an interesting topic :)

I also know there is a million different things that affect people's interpretations of characters but I thought it was an cool theory*

I keep seeing all of this fighting in the canon JC tag and I thinks its super interesting the way that people interpret characters so differently after consuming the exact same book/show. I am sure that everybody has their own reasons for what they believe either way.

Now most characters in MDZS are both objectively good and bad, like they all believe they are doing the right thing based on their own moral compass/circumstances but that means they often have to sacrifice others to serve their own ends. I mean nobody wins in war. However, I think part of the reason that people like or don't like certain characters comes down to the way that they express themselves/coping mechanisms.

Characters like LWJ & LXC literally abandon their duties as leaders of the Lans, abandon their families & engage in self-harming behaviours. But they are pretty universally well-liked both in the story & in the fandom. I am not bashing these characters, I quite like them actually. But I am bringing them up because they use different, but still not great, coping mechanisms to deal with their trauma.

Then we compare this to characters like JC & JL. They are aggressive, can be violent & have public emotional outbursts. Also not great coping mechanisms.

But one set of characters is praised & one set is criticized, both by people within the story & fandom. Why? (Well one of the reasons anyway). The Lan Brothers internalize their emotions whilst JC & JL externalise them.

"Internalising behaviours are directed inwards and include fearfulness, social withdrawal and anxiety, while externalising behaviours are directed outwards and include physical aggression, disobedience and substance abuse" (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).

There are many studies that have shown that their is social stigma directed towards externalising behaviours. I mean they can be quite antisocial and, by definition, affect everyone around (external to) the person.

However, that doesn't mean that internalising behaviours are inherently better. As I previously mentioned, the Lan brothers both engage in behaviour that negatively impacts themselves and their community. But because their negative emotions, and subsequent behaviours, are directed towards punishing themselves, they are viewed less critically. There is less of an obvious social impact to their behaviours and so, as social creatures, we inherently view them as less problematic.

But here comes the truly interesting part:

If their JC & JL's behaviours are more stigmatised by society, why some people still like them? Well, in part, it comes down to an individual's own behaviours. Those who also externalise their emotions, have less stigma (& probably more empathy) for those who also externalise their emotions. It's hard to understand someone else's actions when you would never consider acting the same way.

Now does this justify JC & JL actions? No.

Does this make any of these characters reactions to trauma less valid than the other? Also no.

But can I understand why people hate characters like this? Absolutely.

Every character in MDZS goes through some level of trauma. There is no therapists and few resources to support them through it, so yeah they are kinda messed up by it all and don't really healthily cope with anything.

If you want to read into this a little further (or see how I came to this conclusion), check out:

Donati, G., Meaburn, E., & Dumontheila, I. (2021). Internalising and externalising in early adolescence predict later executive function, not the other way around: a cross-lagged panel analysis. Cognition & Emotion, 35(5), 986–998. Doi: https://10.1080/02699931.2021.1918644

Lau, A. S., Guo, S., Tsai, W., Nguyen, J., Nguyen, H. T., Ngo, V., & Weiss, B. (2016). Adolescents’ stigma attitudes toward internalizing and externalizing disorders: Cultural influences and implications for distress manifestations. Clinical Psychological Science, 4(4), 704–717. doi: https://10.1177/2167702616646314

If you are affected by anything in this post & need support, check out this link to find mental health resources in your area: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/therapy-medication/directory-of-international-mental-health-helplines.htm

[ceoofmetagala]

Hi again, same anon from earlier. First I want to apologize for now my original message came off; I really wanted to be clear that by no means was any of this meant as an attack towards you, but rather there's a place my constructive feedback came from. I've been on social media and art fandoms for a very long time now, and I've had my share of emotional posts where I was strongly expressing my distaste for topics. By 'emotional maturity', I was referring to how mature one expresses/shares their emotions outwardly, which I struggled with daily at your age. By no means was I blind to that. However, I scared many people off with that type of behavior. Before I knew it, I had lost a whole friend group because I didn't have the insight at that age to find a more calm and controlled way of expressing myself. I am also autistic. To pair, at the time I was friends with another autistic person who was very open about the way they expressed their strong negative opinions, generally making similar posts as you did earlier (this was on another website); they got bullied, harassed, and targeted so violently for that behavior that no amount of blocking and reporting could stop the sheer amount of alts and people willing to take advantage of this person, knowing they'd get a reaction. These horrible people thought it was funny. Eventually, they had to leave the website for years and come back with a whole new alias. I can't even believe I was able to reconnect with them all this time later. I guess the point I was trying to get at with that part of my ask wasn't to harm you or call you stupid, but just to let you be aware that unfortunately there are people on the internet who don't see it as an excuse that your a teen- they see it as fair game. Overall, I really just don't want to see this happening to you which is why I wanted to tell you. I wish someone did for me when I was that age. Reading into your further posts after the ask response, you had said that your parents don't take you seriously when you're trying to handle your emotions? I am really sorry to hear this. I don't want you to think anyone here has anything against you, by all means you brought up very valid points in your response and its easy to see that there's far more deep-rooted issues going on than simply disliking a headcanon. Not to backseat therapist, but it really sounds like to me when you said "I struggle with/ignore my negative emotions/one is enough to break me down" that you struggle with regulating your emotions in general. For that, I deeply apologize for the way I worded my post as I would never think you're 'emotionally unintelligent' but rather just... need guidance. Perhaps if you're not already at the moment, maybe see about visiting a counselor or therapist to work on this as I can see it's really hurting you. I can understand if you're not able to given what you've shared with us about your parents, but perhaps someday. There's definitely a lot of material on the internet that can help in the meantime. Otherwise, please take what I'm saying with a grain of salt. I'm just another person on the internet and I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you know of these issues; but it's up to you to interpret them however it might help you. There's nothing wrong with you as a person so please never think that. As for the tags? One in particular that was shown to me was you misspelt "body horror" as "horrer" and so that came up on my dash. People make mistakes, so again please know I'm not upset with you and still very much enjoy your work. After all, we have to help each other grow however we can.

Please take care, and keep doing what you love. I wish you all the best.

Hello random anon again. Again I will break down points to address

- okay so I tried to see s therapist for other issues because my tendency to bottle emtions up had. Ande me lash out in school do I was forced to get therpay and erm.... There's only 2 therapists near my area for in person one of which we tried but my medicate? Care ? ( I forget and mix the 2 up)didn't cover do we WNET to another and WHOOO was that one BAD bro straight told me "suicide in teenagers in normal and not a sign of mentall illness" do yeah. Phsycail out of the window and I DO NOT. Feel comtoble with online . My parents CAN hear. Even if they can't fully understand they will. Its just. Not safe . Mainly cause ya know? They are part of the issue this isnt even getting into the fact they are straight up transphobic and also slightly homophobic and ya knows... abusive. So yeah therapy is just not an option for me at this momment I thought of going once I was 18+ and had a place to "run away" to safely

And even if it were an option and tehre were slot of therapists in the area I wouldn't feel comtoble since that same bad one also told my parents everything so I refused to dig further and just said "I'm fine" for like a solid 30 mins? And also not even a safety issue but a "I feel bad to ask for anything even if it will atuclly improve my life" and if I ask for therapy where there were options my parents would likely feel I DIDNT need it.

So yeah overall I've had bad experiences with it and don't plan on it until it's even safe for me and I can afford to.

(this is a very touchy subject as well since I'm struggling to keep my emotions in check again. A bit worse than last time)

And the final point yeah I learned the proper spellinh when I was rbinh something else since while trying to think about if it need to be tagged I thought it's s bit of body horror might tag that and thought "horrer" looked off and then finally looked it up to grab the proper spelling took me a solid few minutes. Very common occurrence for me to straight up not know how to spell words and think the improper was the proper one.

[sw33t-as-h3ll]

Although BPD causes impulsive reactions/ actions/decisions, the truth at the heart of the matter is me and my fellow BPD people are constantly assessing if we're worth it to others that we value a lot. I always feel like I am just not good enough, or don't know how to regulate my emotions while verbally/intellectually explaining my frustrations, anxious moments, etc.

Of course every BPD person handles it or suffers from it differently. But the essence of BPD is constantly caving-in on ourselves, internally repeating every cruel statement others said to us, or self-berating/criticality of self with the inner monologue. Now I wonder what BPD might be like for people with no inner monologue. But oh well, everyone's mental health journey is different.

Some BPD people who can refrain from violent physical actions against others: no matter what they say hurtfully or critically, no matter how many times they try to emotionally push away others... They regret it because they know a part of them (deep down) NEEDS that squad of friends/family or a specific person. They NEED to be reassured they are loved/liked, because they may have been bullied or abused by family in any way (subtle/covert or explicit).

BPD is so misunderstood and has a notorious reputation because we assume the BPD person is just being an asshole. The best thing to do is we must ask the right questions or say the right things to calm them down, instead of punishing or shunning the BPD person for outlashes.

Please love your cranky or moody friends/family with big hearts. BPD can go undiagnosed for so long, too, because I myself forcibly suppress all my negative emotions until my psyche crashes. I sadly taught myself that my negative feelings are not worth bringing up to people who proved to me they will never understand.

I am so lucky to have my ex-boyfriend and my second boyfriend care deeply about me, despite how I have been a bitchy BPD queen to them off and on. I have had it good in romance, because I taught myself to have deeper empathy and consideration since teen years. This is because out of my suffering from emotional and mental abuse in childhood, I learned I never want anyone to feel as devalued as I felt.

But I know I still have the right to be momentarily angry, as long as I can explain "why" whatever is pissing me off. It's taken me 5 years of "shadow work" to overcome my BPD feelings about some people in my life. So yes, it is possible to grow and heal while also continually suffering from BPD. Introspection is both a gift and a curse, so use it well, my fellow BPD persons.

[happy-and-gay-tortoise]

hey sorry to basically be on 'anon' bc i really can't send asks from my main account lol but ANYWAY i'm sorry it looks like someone made u feel like shit about posting in the crust tag but i wanted to mediate if thats ok. im sorry someone made u feel you couldnt post in there but at the same time i get it, if ur not reaaaally into crust then it's weird to establish yourself within such a politically vocal and tight knit community.

i know if you go to them with open hands about how into crust u are they would welcome you and give you recs and support you, you just have to show u are into crust. there are a lot of people that come into crust punk without knowing what it is except for 'fashion', and crust punks are actively trying to remove 'fashion' punks from crust, so it doesn't become corporatised like punk rock did.

so i think with ur jacket not having any crust and your outfit of the day posts being non-crust music and your playlist not having crust on it until i assume someone said some horrible shit i think that becomes a point where the fear is realised as 'oh my god, here's another fashion-only prson who doesn't know/doesn't want to know what this is' and it puts this very tight-knit community on edge

that didn't give any one the right to be horrible about it tho like there are better way to do these things but crust is a negative-type community that is very violent? maybe? in various ways. full of people with big problems with a real hatred of the world. which is where that reaction came from. i honestly wouldn't take it to heart too hard and i know ur only a kid so that'll be very hard. but if u ever want to get more into crust i promise ask people for recs and they will help you and be so kind.

it's just worth remembering, sub cultures don't like to be stepped on bc the world is hellbent on making it digestible and corporate for the masses so you gotta come at it honestly. ok anyway sorry for pseudo anon again and have a nice day

(The pseudo anon is ok dw)

I appreciate this ask a lot! Funny thing is I'm mostly just not rlly labeling myself as crust anymore bc I'm not the biggest fan of the music in general and I don't wanna use the tags that are not accurate to me! I respect the crust community a lot and yall are always welcome here, I'm just more personally into what a lot of my asks have called "easier to listen to punk" I love the noise not music movement and I do listen to some death metal n stuff, but ska and ska punk are more my cup of tea yk!

The crust community is also, as you said, very full of (most of the time justified) violence and hatred, and as someone that is like an eco-anarcist, optimist punk, and just trying to consume as much positive content/ neutral content as possible it tends to not be my vibe! I totally understand why yall have the community tho as someone who is that kind of angry a lot if the time, yall are the people that make change, and when it is needed I join you, but at least rn, I won't be engaging with that (also due to personal circumstances)!

Also I understand how it gave that impression, I want to make it clear I understand that crust punk was/is a movement centered around the music, the heavy emphasis on politics, and the anger towards the systems that push us down. "Crust pants/jackets" are just things to show that! I very clearly do not fit one of those criterias tho and that's ok! I don't have to use the label crust punk to still be someone who is a valid member of the punk subculture! Plus, yall don't need to know what exact labels I use anyway lol. You are a community that has been fucked with and torn apart for years, and it's not my place to call myself a part of that community when, frankly, I'm not! Again, I am in full support of the crust punk movement and stand by your sides, any crust punk that comes onto this page is fully welcomed with open arms! <3

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Good evening. I'll just start. Since I was raised with a lot of emotional violence, I did a lot of deconstructing and rebuilding my values but also my reactions to certain things. How do I react when I am anxious and is this a good reaction or did it stick from my childhood? How do I think, talk about XY? And is that really my opinion, or my parents?

This took years and it was actually very funny and filled some books and I am far from being finished but I noticed something: it made me arrogant. I understand that people who didn't grew up with abuse and maybe trauma don't see the necessity in this for themselves but I believe everyone should do this a little bit, when they become adults.

I am very interested in sociology, but I lost a lot of my empathy. Sometimes you look at X-phobic people and you realize, some of these people don't have bad intentions, they are honestly, irrationally afraid and turn violent. Just an example. And I can't sympathise with them anymore. I just think "You should work on your fear and your reactions, as an grown adult you can't just simply hate what you fear!?"

Or my partner. He has suffered from abuse too and his reactions are always the same and never for todays-situation. Always for the abuse situation. And it starts to annoy me because, we are together for 5 years and I did all my rebuilding during this time, and he still reacts as if I was his abusive mom. Why doesn't he ever overthink his reactions? Why can't he just grow, but has to put me through this situation over and over, which leaves me hurt.

It is just not his style, he wouldn't like it and have fun with it, like I did. He needs a therapist and I need to be patient but that's becoming hard for me.

In both cases I sometimes think better about myself than the other one, because I don't (always) react like my instincts tell me or my parents taught me anymore. And I don't like that part of me. I only realise it afterwards and I can't bring myself to have compassion or patience. I feel like I have run out of patience with other people.

Any ideas, how I can get my patience back?

Hi anon,

First of all I'm sorry about what you've been through.

I hear you, it makes sense to struggle to sympathize with people who allow their fear to manifest into violence and oppressive behavior ("xphobic people"). It's simply logical to identify that those choices need reevaluation and work. but I think it's also important to remember that this can be hard for a lot of people, and unfortunately many people grow past that and take the leap towards self-work because it can be intimidating and overwhelming, as opposed to the layers of denial or comforting lies we tell ourselves that enable our destructive behavior.

But I think the situation is a bit different in context to your partner and how his history of abuse shapes his behavior and ability to cope. His trauma responses are not necessarily a choice. Healing also takes time, and it's possible that hes just not at a stage yet to grow beyond these things.

I think it can be useful to remember to have a more rehabilitative mindset rather than a punitive one. In other words, instead of looking at the situation through the red lens of frustration or perhaps even a level of negative reinforcement, it can be helpful to try on the green lens of patience and encouragement. It can also be effective to imagine how each of these lenses affect or change the outcome in terms of how your partner feels and/or heals.

But at the same time, to some degree, it's okay to run out of patience or compassion, because each of these qualities have a limited supply. I can apply this in terms to me providing patience, compassion, and emotional labor on this blog - I only have so much patience, compassion, and emotional labor before I have to take a break and recharge. That's okay. You can't have patience and compassion at all times.

Ultimately, please know that you don't have to stick around for someone's recovery. If the stage they're at is causing you harm, distress, or excessive frustration, consider that you're not obligated to stay.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[crystal-ball-of-ow-canon]

Breakdown of the whole “cop situation”

Now that I feel like the worst of tensions have died down (at least on Tumblr) I think it needs to be cleared up why a lot of people are upset at the reveal that Gabriel used to be a cop. I know that if you don’t get it it can feel like a lot of people are overreacting but I don’t think that’s conducive to the situation. It’s a very loaded situation that requires a lot of nuance and to talk about such I will be touching on heavy and serious topics, please do not take the mentioning of darker topics as me trying to guilt you into something nor should you feel compelled to change your mind. I just want you to understand where others are coming from if you don’t get what’s going on. I would like to repeat that you are not wrong for not getting why people are upset, you are not wrong for feeling like people are overreacting.

So the biggest problem people have with Gabriel being a cop is that the American police are just exceptionally shitty. America has a very… very long history of law enforcement over citizen protection, and laws are not always moral. But so what? Systemic oppression and discrimination isn’t special to America. Well yes but… America is especially militarized and violent and… deadly… And so it stands that animosity towards police is very high among Americas particularly if you are a part of any marginalized community. The US police force is also very predominately male and white compared to population.

So yes, affiliation with the police can elicit very strong negative opinions particularly if you are from the US. And because interaction between citizen and law enforcement is so general and common people are most likely going to relate to that than a nebulous anarchist terrorist group. Furthermore the police and military are completely separate in America, for those who think that they’re “both just law enforcement”. No. Going into the military and going into the police force are not the same thing.

Now I do not want ANY “not all cops” or “few bad apples” in any reposts or notes (and if there is I will assume you have not read the entire post and will not engage). For the love of God no, just being a cop does not make you a malicious person or a bad actor. Joining the police force is a way of upward mobility that you might not have access to otherwise. You can also join the force believing you can do good and change the corrupt system. H o w e v e r. You are still participating in and perpetuating an oppressive system, regardless of your intentions, regardless if you don’t abuse your power, regardless if you are “one of the good ones”. This is not about the individual, this is about the actions of the system as a whole. And that is where the “affiliation = bad reaction” comes from.

I hope this was possibly informative or helpful to some people. I am not in any ways trying to put words in mouths or speak for anyone, this was just the general consensus some of my friends had on the topic. Although I did bring up very dark subjects I attempted to avoid going in depth as I did not feel it appropriate when talking about something pedantic as a character's lore. Personally the cop thing didn't bother me so much as how it was handled in the story. I don't want any fighting, I'm not trying to challenge anyone's opinions or say they're wrong. I hope I'm not taking away from any enjoyment. But I did get asked why some people were so upset and this is my answer.

[littleeyesofpallas]

I think in my hurry to get through the one core rant without getting distracted, I didn't actually outline the Hero's Journey's whole proposed psych model in the first place. I don't want to get too into each of the 17 steps, but the idea of the process it reflects is this:

A boy on the cusp of adulthood must leave the comfort of parental protection/provision, whether he wants to or not. He must seek out the "magic" of an older mentor who has seen and mastered the unknown, and through that mentor they learn an entry level skill that will allow them to navigate the world of adults; but this is not "mastery" and it is not "understanding" it is only the bare bones functionality of mimicry. Understanding comes later. This happens, often, while still in the comfort of the "home" realm, where the dangers of the unknown aren't in play yet. Then they leave for real and confront the shock of an unfamiliar world, of autonomy, and responsibility; for the first time in their life, if something goes wrong, no one is there to help them.

Campbell himself posits this next step can go a few different ways. His standard format suggests the Belly of the Whale, the descent into the darkness of not knowing happens at the threshold itself, comes first. That upon confronting the unfamiliar new reality of adulthood the immediate reaction is to be overwhelmed, and only after addressing that immense pressure and aimlessness does the boy get to proceed out into the world at large with the understanding that out here, he can actually die.

But the alternative to this is that the boy goes from the crossing of the threshold directly into the Road of Trials, putting at his his magic aide's skills to use, and learning new ones, until that momentum of that growth and learning plateaus, and then THAT is the moment in which the hero is consumed unto the Belly of the Whale, not when he first confronts a reality that is beyond him, but when he first realizes that it's beyond him; when the arrogance and ignorance of youth gives way to humility. Here he has been facing danger and challenge but only now does he confront the inevitability of death; he cannot keep conquering the unknown forever.

I prefer the Belly-second format, because unlike the Belly-first form's processing of the idea that he can die, this is the fact that he will die; and then what legacy does he leave behind? And this directly motivates his shifting attention toward...

The Goddess Reconciliation is my problematic fav of this whole thing... Campbell and Jung believed deeply in this old fashioned notion of Anima and Animus, that there was some nearly mystical bioessentiallist quality of explicitly segregated Male and Female psyche, and a lot of that doesn't scan great these days. BUT! Of note is that their fixation on this duality came largely out of the idea that the two, being innately separate and at odds, needed to be balanced for a healthy mind to exist. In the psychospiritual spiritual approach to myth this means the Goddess is in fact a man's inner feminine aspect that need to be appeased and made peace with. And that's actually pretty cool, weird inner-cosmological premise to that aside.

But in regards to the myth as guidance, this is also the step in the journey that I just call Respect Women. Because that's what's being taught. This is the moment that the young boy/young man, until recently high on his own power and accomplishments, and his ongoing conquest of the unknown is confronted by a woman of great power. She resides in a realm above him, and for the first time in his quest he cannot conquer his way through this. He MUST speak with, negotiate, and empathize with this woman and her needs in order to win her favor and approval, and sometimes very literally hand in marriage.

This power she holds over him is often pretty literally the ability to have children, tying back into the newfound need to secure legacy that I mentioned in Belly of the Whale. But it can also be inheritance of fortune, positions of power and rulership, etc... in the realms of mythological and fairytale narratives. But it also reflects the internal idea of the joining of Anima and Animus, in that this marriage in one way or another, material or not, must bring him peace of mind.

Then there's the Woman as Temptress phase, which is woefully underused. Granted it can come across as a bit sexist and cliche in many narratives, and it's easy to see how that doesn't feel "essential" to most Hero Journeys, but I think this is incredibly important. Again, I prefer the Belly-second model in which the hero's conquests naturally lead to arrogance (he's on a winning streak, and he is still just a kid doing all this for the first time; he's never known defeat, so how does he even know when to slow his roll?) and this is a repeat of that; he's learned to please one woman, why not use his tried and true method of learning new skills and putting them to use to please more women? And so his loyalty to his Goddess must be tested in order to teach him moving forward.

This is the trope about Prince Charming being a playboy because his only trait is seducing women, not being good to them --see: Utena's Touga, or Into The Wood's Prince brothers. This is where a man learns not to be a fuckboi.

And then the confrontation with The Father. The legendary big Vader moment. But it's not always a violent confrontation, and it's not always innately negative; at times it can even be a somber affair. A boy must learn to stop idolizing his father, and make peace with the truth that his father is just a man, full of flaws like any other. And by reconciling his father as infallible patriarch and the hero's own process of growth, a boy must learn that to succeed in life he must be more than his father is/was. And this tends to become a violent or literal physical conflict when the father in question is both still alive, and the very literal authority that must be overcome in the name of progress. The patriarch has established a system of order that he sees as preserving the safety and security of the world of the known, and he will protect that system even as it begins to fall apart. And as a man, not longer a boy, but a peer to his father the hero has to show the father that he is no longer the unquestioned arbiter and effectively take his place.

In this the boy becomes man, hero attains some kind of enlightenment, sees some deep truth to the world and now knows with some clarity what is best for the world. An arrogant assertion to be sure, but internal to the journey at hand it makes enough sense... Because with this understanding the Hero also discovers or distills the mysteries of this wild realm of the unknown into The Ultimate Boon: a tool or a symbol of the skills learned, that can be replicated or utilized even without the hero's personal level of understanding. And this thing must be delivered back to the mundane so that the next generation of children can use it to expand their realm of the known further into what had before been unknown; each subsequent generation of hero expanding the collective knowledge and understanding of the community as a whole.

And Hero must also often learn selflessness. This kind of comes into play more often when there isn't the innate establishment of a desire to foster a legacy that will out last him. In this case the Hero needs to be talked into going home, because the alternative is that he continues to dwell in this state of perfection. But if he lives out his life like this, he will die as just a singular man rather than the Hero of a people. This in turn motivate the Rescue in which someone has to break into his little bubble of personal accomplishment to bring him back. Yet again his ego must be tested, and he must be humbled.

And then he goes back home, he's a Master of Two Worlds, the known and unknown alike, and he delivers The Boon to the common people so their lives can be made better by it. He earns the Freedom to Live and melds back into a mundane civilian life, as a productive member of his society, as a father, and eventually as a new hero's Magical Aide and old wizened mentor.

Shit.. I let this get away from me and shifted my whole rhetoric halfway in... >:/ My point wasn't to outline the mythic structure but the psychological one. So let me try to just summarize briefly now:

A boy needs to leave the comfort of home. He has to learn many new skills, starting with being taught by a teacher. He has to learn his limitations, finality and fatality. To secure a legacy he seeks a wife; to get a wife he must respect women; to keep a wife he must not be a fukboi. He must be a better father than his was. He must learn to want to give back to his community, and then return with knowledge and/or resources to better said community. He assumes a mundane life, he has kids who will grow up as he did; he'll be their father to overcome, and their mentor to learn from in time.

↑This is the Hero's Journey that Campbell became so fixated on, and that George Lucas maybe kind of oversold and muddled with film savvy, but that the original Star Wars still managed to embody and launch into the public consciousness. This is the Hero's Journey I wish more people would talk about and engage with, rather than the color-by-numbers nonsense that it's been reduced to.

[autumn-foxfire]

God, I love your blog so much because you get to express in words what I can't, does that makes sense? Anyways, seeing all those asks about Dabihawks made me think about something that tends to get ignored in a lot of fanfics: following the idea of Dabi being Touya, meeting his family again and being with them after a long time, it's the fact that his family, after being horrified about him being a criminal/terrorist for like, seconds, they inmediately accept him again? And this is something that annoys me a lot even if I end up swallowing those feelings because I like the writing or the fanfic in general. There's just some ideas like that one, that I just... can't. There's no relationship building in that. Dabi, along with the LOV, attacked Shouto's class, attacked, even if they weren't planning to kill anyone. And they kidnapped Bakugou too. It doesn't really matters if it wasn't his intention or his idea on the first place, or even if he didn't wanted to do it, he still did it and, sometimes, it's really hard to let go of that.

And people ignore that moment or make him forgive Touya because he's his brother, with no struggle at all. I know Shouto is a kind soul and all that jazz, but it's not really that easy to talk to a family member (barely, he probably doesn't remember him that much), and just stop associating certain actions, terrible ones, with them. Shouto struggled with Endeavor to do that. Fuyumi would probably still be horrified and even scared, but ignoring what's happening for the sake of keeping the family together or inevitably focusing on herself depending of other's reactions (like Natsuo's or Shouto's), Natsuo would be split between the person he knew and the criminal he saw on TV, Rei would probably relapse, even if she wants to see him because she's his mom, but she would feel guilty, and Endeavor (they don't tend to include him but I'll do it anyway), would feel really guilty about it too. Even better, He would probably feel guilty about it all his life. That's great angst material.

Dabi ends up being the only one who feels bad about what he did (either sometimes or all the time) and his family only... comforts him, without having any problem about that. Acting as if he had never being a criminal. Or as if he only used to be just a petty robber. Acting as if they just barely cared about what happened in the past. They can't let go of Endeavor that easily, why would it be that easy with Dabi?

And God, I would understand if only one person in the family reacted like that. But a family of five? Everyone is different. You can't expect people to act as if nothing happened. Of course it happens, but like, with Todoroki's, where everyone deal with trauma in very different ways despite having the same experiences? I don't really buy it...

It just makes me thing so much about a couple, where one of them cheated on the other and the other one just accepts him, despite seeing the moment where he was cheated (the reactions of would be different if one of them just confessed and asks for forgivement, but in this case, since the Todoroki's family knows about a lot of Dabi's crimes so it makes more sense for the couple to see how he was cheated).

I love reading fics that talk about healing. People can get better. People can do better, and Dabi can be a great example of that along with Endeavor. But I think we should try not to reduce feelings to something so vain, so simple, in a family, because it's always way more complex than that.

T-T Thank you so much!!! I’m so glad you enjoy my blog (and my responses to anons XD)

My god, I feel you there though. 

Dabi’s crimes always tend to be swept under the rug by his family and it’s both annoying and unrealistic. Firstly, Dabi put his family through an immense amount of pain by faking his death. I don’t know if people realise how traumatic it is to lose a family member, especially one so young, in such a violent way. You feel the pain of it for years (and never really get over it), you’ll have to attend therapy or something called berevement counselling just to help you deal with their death and every year, without any fail, you’ll most like become depressed around the time of month of their passing.

*While I am speaking from experience here and projecting slightly, I’m also just pointing out what I’ve observed my family go through dealing with a similar loss. It’s really a horrible thing to experience and has probably left us more mentally ill then we were before*

So sure, the family would experience relief that Dabi, Touya was actually alive, but that relief won’t last for long before the family are consumed by their grief, anger, guilt and all the negative emotions they’ve had to deal with since learning his passing. It’s going to be a traumatic experience (or at least it should be) and yet most act like they’d just be happy he’s alive?!

Secondly, that’s not even taking into account Dabi’s crimes and the emotions they would experience over them! Dabi isn’t just a petty criminal, he’s a serial killer who not only tried to kill their father (who they have a complicated relationship with but clearly don’t want dead), he’s also put the lives of many innocent people in danger or even indirectly been responsible for killing them (i.e. the Machia march) as well as putting his own baby brother in danger too. He truly didn’t care that the training camp he was attacking would have his brother and his friends there, he didn’t care if any of them died (the nomu was obviously given orders to kill) and he didn’t care about hurting his own brother either when he got in his way. He even taunted Shouto for his failure too (which was beyond messed up considering Shouto was being a hero and trying to protect his friend).

Dabi has committed many, many selfish crimes that none of his family should just brush off because they’re happy he’s alive. Yes, they’ll be happy, but Dabi has caused them all, especially Shouto, a lot of trauma through his actions (I know he couldn’t control the trauma they experienced at his death as such, so I’m not blaming him for that, what I am blaming him for is willingly causing this trauma for what currently looks like selfish goals).

I don’t know why people are so dismissive of Dabi’s crimes, to be honest. He’s committed many atrocities that he needs to pay for. Is he capable of change? Well anyone can be if they put their mind too it and while Dabi should be held accountable for what he’s done, if he’s truly willing to change in the future, then he should also be allowed to heal.

But his family will also need to heal from his choices too and I wish the fandom would explore that more instead of just sweeping it under the rug.

[michaelbranch]

A Brief Summary of Ideas: The Madness of Crowds

*These summaries are kept intentionally very brief, just hitting what I consider some of the important/interesting takeaways, most word-for-word or paraphrased. My goal is also to stick to ideas/principals that might guide others (or my future self) in deciding the value of a read (or re-reading). T = takeaway, Q = Question

The Madness of Crowds: Gender, Race, and Identity

Author: Douglas Murray

Assumption that a heightened moral knowledge comes with being an oppressed/minority group. "Speaking as a ..."

All these causes started as legitimate human rights campaigns.

Gay

Can't award yourself the right to attribute motives to others that you can't see but which you suspect. Prerequisite for avoiding perpetual confrontation is an ability to listen to people's words and hold some trust in them.

Problem of changing societal positions so swiftly is that unexplored issues and arguments are left behind in the wake.

We still don't have much idea as to why some people are gay.

Hardware = something people can't change (and thus shouldn't be judged on). Software = can be changed (and thus may be available for judgement). Inevitably there will be a push to make some software issues into hardware.

LGBT groupings composition is unsustainable and contradictory. Internal frictions and contradictions even within groupings.

Some heterosexuals are genuinely disturbed by gay people. Plenty of stages between absolute equanimity and ease around people and a desire to violently attack them.

Marxist Foundations

See society not as an infinitely complex system of trust and traditions evolved over time, but solely through the prism of power.

Anyone who questions an "ism" finds themselves accused. Easy weapons to wield with no price to pay for wielding them unfairly.

When it is nearly impossible to tell what is being said, almost anything can be said, and exceptionally dishonest arguments can be smuggled in under the guise of complexity. T= be weary of arguments that can't be presented simply.

Women

Society has doubled down on the belief that biological difference can be denied or ignored.

T= When people make exaggerated claims about what someone else said, its likely an example of people deliberately and lazily adopting simplified misrepresentations of the argument in order to avoid the difficult discussion that would otherwise have to take place.

Contradictory statement = possible to be sexy without being sexualized

Presumption that almost all relationships in the workplace and elsewhere are centered around the exercise of power. Various types of power; many parties can hold different ones.

Privilege is unbelievably hard to define or quantify. How can strata be arranged to be flexible enough to include everyone but consider various comparative changes throughout life. Also, easier to see in others but more difficult to see in ourselves.

Intersectionality is not a fully worked out science.

Concept of the patriarchy has become so ingrained its rarely disputed.

Impact of Tech

If we are running in the wrong direction; tech helps us run faster.

Internet has allowed new forms of activism and bullying. To find people accused of "wrong thing" works because it rewards the bully.

"The one thing we can say with certainty about the advent of new technologies is that people overestimate their impact in the short term and underestimate their impact over the long term." -Variously attributed.

What we say in one place may be posted in another, not just for the whole world but for all time. Having to find a way to speak and act as though it may be in front of everyone. To speak in public is now to have to find a way to address or keep in mind every possible variety of person.

T= Don't sacrifice truth in the pursuit of a political goal.

Race

Some portion of black studies started attacking non blacks. Growth of "whiteness studies" w/ aim of disrupting racism by problematizing "whiteness". Displaces celebratory nature of many race studies to with problematizing others.

Catastrophizing has become one of the distinctive attitudes of the era.

Q= Should we seek color blindness (get beyond race to individual judgement, making skin color effectively an unimportant aspect of a person's identity)?

An idea that since everything was set up by a structure of white hegemony everything is laced with racism and therefore everything must be done away with.

If people got things so wrong in the past, how can you be sure you are acting appropriately today?

Important in crowd maddening mechanism: person who professes themselves most aggrieved gets the most attention. Rewards outrage over sanguinity.

Politicizing issues such that the speaker and their innate characteristics don't matter. What matters is the speech and ideas they give voice to.

Easy(er) to slip up not on an issue of motive but, especially when no other evidence is available, a crime of language.

Social media age has brought us opportunity to publish uncharitable and disingenuous interpretations of what other people have said.

Equality of opportunity AND outcome almost certainly impossible.

Forgiveness

T= Context collapse: conversation/act taken out of context and used to create a simplified version of a person or their beliefs.

Q= How, if ever, is our age able to forgive? Since everybody errs during their life there must be - in any healthy person or society - some capacity to be forgiven. Part of forgiveness is the ability to forget. The internet will never forget.

Actions have consequences that are unbounded and limitless. Constantly acting in a web of relationships in which every action starts a chain reaction. A single word or deed could change everything.

Without being forgiven we would remain the victim of the consequences forever.

T= Historically perpetrators and offended both die out and the grievance fades over time. Internet leaves a permanent record.

Internet helps people approach the past from an all-knowing angle. Retributive instinct of our time that suggests we know ourselves to be better than people in history because we know how they behaved and how we "would have" behaved.

To view the past with some degree of forgiveness is among other things an early request to be forgiven in return.

Trans

Every age before this one has performed or permitted acts that to us are morally stupefying.

A considerable range of cultures has adapted to the idea that some people may be born in one body but desire to live in another.

For intersex people, the question of what medical intervention might be suitable and when is a matter of serious contention.

Very hard to know how to navigate the leap beyond biology into testimony.

Still almost nowhere near understanding trans; including how common it is.

Autogynephilia: arousal that comes from imagining yourself in the role of the opposite sex.

Q= whether what one person believes to be true about themselves has to be accepted as true by other people?

Questions about the age at which people who believe they are in the wrong body should be allowed to access drugs and surgery are worth considering.

Q= What do you need to do to be content with your body, not change it?

Seems we're running to quickly on the trans issue, scared to be on the wrong side of history.

Some contention between trans and feminist ideas.

T= little contention that equal rights should be given. Issue is preconceptions and assumptions about how to go about tackling the issue.

Q=Claims of human rights violations are inversely proportionate to the number of violations in a country. -Daniel Patrick Moynihan. Only a very free society would permit (or encourage) claims about its own inequities.

T= when people attempt to sum up our societies in terms of simplistic structures ask, "compared to what". Not to say elements of our society can't be improved.

The victim is not always right, nice, deserves no praise, and may not be a victim.

Incline towards generosity when interpreting others words/acts.

-People are wiling to interpret remarks from their own tribe in a generous light while reading opposing ones in as negative a light as possible.

To assume that sex, sexuality, and skin color mean nothing would be ridiculous. To assume that they mean everything would be fatal.

The madness we are living through is an over-reaction to past injustice. Belief is that the fastest and best way to address this is to over-compensate.

[freddie-mercurial]

Sorry but looks like that anon is the one who's commenting on all the sub!Brian fics of poly Queen week about how much they don't get why authors decide to write him that way which is totally NOT cool, anon. All fics are tagged accordingly no one is forcing you to read them! How would you feel if you write a Dom!Brian fic AND tagged it accordingly YET people still come to you saying why do you write him as a Dom? We don't get it clearly he is a sub? How would you fucking feel, anon?! Christ!

okay i’ve deleted most of the anons but i’m replying to this one just to say that i fully agree with you.  if you don’t like something, don’t read it.  i think it’s pretty clear after all this that i’m a dom!brian fan but i would never comment on someone’s sub!brian fic to say that.  i would never say i don’t like sub!brian on someone’s specifically sub!brian post.

people are generally really good at tagging things so there’s absolutely no excuse to comment criticisms and disagreements with what people write, that’s out of order, i didn’t actually realise that was happening, it’s really shitty.

i can sort of understand the reaction some people have had to me saying i don’t like sub!brian (though not quite the violently angry extent of it because wow @ some of these anons) if that sort of thing has been going around and made people feel defensive.  

i’m not going to apologise for my preference in reading or writing in fic (as nobody should have to), but i wanted to say that i am fully on your side in this.  people shouldn’t be commenting on peoples’ fics just to be negative.  that’s not what fic is there for. 

[linkspooky]

My question is about Crona's mentality over murdering Medusa (Manga). It just seemed ... empty. Maybe I'm missing something & it's simple, but I don't get how that event triggered such a violent reaction. After all the abuse Medusa forced Crona thru, it was a kind act of praise & physical affection that was the breaking point? When Maka showed kindness/hug Crona was greatful. Medusa also seemed to want this result, or was this her attempt to avoid her fate only to run into it? ~Pls n Thanks ☆

This is just speaking from personal experience but basically living in an abusive household or after the fact, anything can set you off. I get terrified pouring milk and spilling it. It doesn’t have to be something major. Crona while exaggerated to tragic backstory levels as Medusa always conditioned them to be more of a weapon, is still a victim of an abusive household, Medusa calls them their child, and herself their mother. Their relationship is explicitly parent and child, even if Medusa conditions them like a soldier, a tool, an experiment or worse.

Not only that, but Medusa’s intentions have been clear since the start. She was planning on having Crona kill her in order to complete her research. That’s why she was so flippant when both Stein and Spirit both assumed she would simply toss Crona aside now that she had completely her research. She says it clearly, her feelings became that of a mother and so she wasn’t planning on doing something so typical as abandoning Crona next.

So, number one Medusa was planning this from the start. For the final straw to be Crona killing her with their own hands. Medusa was able to effectively manipulate Crona into doing this, because Medusa has raised Crona in a way that they are completely dependent on her. They can’t help but listen to her, because they’re so used to the fact that if they don’t, they’ll be punished entirely. “Used to” is another important factor here. Remember that Crona is not really working from the mindset of a normal human being here. There is no right or wrong, there is following what she’s used to which is the harsh and cruel Medusa’s orders that only use them to further their own goal, and the punishment that comes from when when they disobey Medusa. Only those two options are Crona’s reality. Their decision making is based entirely around “Will this make Medusa hurt me or not?” because that is what they were exposed to, and only that in their formative years.

This is what happens when they disobey. 

This is what happens when they obey.

When Crona says “They don’t know what to do” or “how to deal with that” it’s because Medusa purposefully raised Crona never to make decisions on their own, but instead to only ever follow orders. Pleasing Medusa meands they get food, displeasing Medusa means punishment. They were exposed to nothing else besides, this, kept in a dark room, and met with no other people in the outside world. 

Conditioning, is the proper word to use here. Also, look at the detail in Crona’s eye that’s Medusa’s magic there’s no doubt they were physically punished too, and expecting it if they resisted. 

Conditioning means getting used to these circumstances. Crona’s entire world view is defined by this, that Medusa is the one who cruelly and heartlessly gives orders and that Crona has to follow them. They know no other defitinion of love, and besides Maka Medusa is there only attachment. This is also why Crona goes back too, because they were too used to the abuse that everything else was scary. Remember, Crona’s mental image is them keeping themselves inside a circle shutting everything out.

A world they don’t have to deal with, because they were never taught how to deal with others, only to kill them. Crona is conditioned to do two things, follow Medusa’s cold hearted orders or expect punishment and kill.

Their way of coping has always always been avoidance too, to embrace the fact that they are alone, that they don’t know how to interact with the rest of the world, because then at least it’s not their fault. 

In that way they don’t go forward, but they also don’t go backwards as well. The isolation keeps them stable at least, they are able to lower their expectations to the unbelievably cruel life and hand that Medusa dealt them. However, we see twice in the series somebody embraces Crona for the first time and makes a change in them.

Maka, who embraces them and brings about a positive change.

Then later Medusa embraces Crona in the exact same way to bring about a negative change. Remember, as Crona says here they entirely gave up on the idea of Medusa as somebody capable of showing love, they were entirely resigned to their reality trying to become passively used to it in order to cope.

So, basically the raeson why Crona stabbed out was out of fear. Embracing somebody who was not used to being embraced once again changed their reality but not in a positive way this time. This time because Medusa embraced them now, it means they were capable of embracing them all along. Which means Crona can no longer shrug off all that horrible abuse they went through. They can no longer remain passive, because just like the time with Maka their circle, their way of coping by resigning themselves and cutting themselves off from human interaction has been broken.

Crona is basically saying “You turned me into this, and yet now you act like a normal mother... like you have the right to do that?”

Then they lash out, because Crona doesn’t know how to direct themselves. They either kill what���s in front of them because Medusa tells them to, and if they don’t they get punished. That simple axiom can’t handle Medusa suddenly showing kindness, the same way it couldn’t handle life at the DWMA.

Crona is attacking what’s in front of them, because they don’t understand the reality that’s in front of them and they don’t know what to do, so they just lash out because that’s what they’ve always done in the past.

At the same time remember only two people have embraced Crona, Maka and now Medusa, and Crona even brings that up. They had to throw away Maka their only precious thing for Medusa’s sake, but Medusa isn’t even acting like Medusa anymore. The reality that they thought they had become used to, that they thought they could be fine with is gone, and instead they realize in one tragic moment that being so passive has in fact made things worse when it was meant to be a coping mechanism to save them, to survive.

Tying this back to the beginning Stein and Spirit ask if Medusa planned on abandoning Crona, and Crona answers that question. By forcing Crona to kill her, Medusa was finally completing her abandonment of Crona that she planned from the start.

I hope that helped you understand that scene a bit better!