#I still love it though and had to share since I'm the only person consistently posting about this game

[hotmilf45-xxx]

Thank you to my dear friend today for reminding me how homosexual Eugene sounded in the russian localization of second son. Like I already knew he had that sad gay slavic pornstar voice (iykyk I literally can't describe it any better than that) but I forgot just how...........breathy he was

Listening to that first phone call with Delsin and him genuinely made me feel like I was intruding on an intimate moment or something. I had my headphones unplugged and I paused the video after he started talking because it sounded so sus. I sat in silence for a couple seconds head in hands. Why was Eugene straight up whimpering

"Yeah I saw your tag, 'kiss me upon my thoughtful brow', I'm a big fan of your work" Am I Intruding On Something Fellas

[lushlovers]

The P-word, J Burrow

summary; he doesn't know what to say or how to react to things like this.

warnings; fluff fr, mentions of pregnancy and pregnancy tests, pet names (baby, honey, ) joe actually kinda sucks with words but same lmaoooo, swearing, kissing

word count; 903

note; yes angst but also fluff. i'm working on more frat!lsu!joey, but this was something random I wanted to post since it's been a little while. i hate the ending no one talk about it. winter writer's block ain't no joke fr.

this is kind of my thank you for two hundred followers even though we are just on the cusp of three, but thank you so much, I appreciate the support of my works more than you will ever know. i love every one of my followers so so sooo much yall are the best:)

Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. Maybe the more you think of those eight letters will fade away and completely off the little plastic at-home test you decided to finally take. God the word just keeps ringing in your head like the most annoying of alarms. How the hell are you supposed to tell him? His career's just started he'll never be along for the roller coaster ride, especially not when it consists of a baby running around as well.

However, luck chooses to be your opponent this evening since Joe's already home and sitting on the couch in the living room, completely oblivious to the fact that your world has just turned completely upside down. It took a while for you to work up the nerve to call him up, but when you did everything suddenly felt so heavy.

The weight refused to leave your shoulders as he sat on the truck at the foot of your bed. Rehearing in the mirror, preparing for every scenario, but especially for the one that you hope and pray will never occur. Everything that you've been through together, nothing will go wrong, he's too good of a person.

After several minutes, worry becomes evident in your voice as he asks you through the door if everything's alright, "'M fine, just nervous, I guess." That seemed to do the opposite of what you intended, that is, maybe your lying and saying you're fine would shut him up for a bit, but your being nervous led to many other questions from the other side of the door.

Adding on to that p-word, every what if clouds your mind as well. What if telling him this is your biggest regret? What if he just packs his shit and leaves? What if-, "Baby, are you sure?" Fucks sake he's still going with his questions, in any less stressful situation this would've been appreciated, but not when you can barely seem to focus on the most topic at hand.

Now or never, seemed to be the only thing that got you to push open the door and finally face the man you love so dearly. He almost instantly jumps up, concern written all over his face even more so when he glances in the direction of your hands. "Do you wanna tell me what's going on?" No, not entirely, you think but you won't let that escape your mouth, matter of fact, nothing leaves your mouth for many seconds. Maybe never was a good idea.

It took a bit for you to unscramble your words and finally speak up, "I'm gonna tell you something, but you have to try not to freak out." Your mouth felt dry the way your anxiety made your throat close up made it feel like your lungs had shrunk five times the size they were before, "Okay, care to share? I'm like shitting my pants right now," Joe spoke, chuckling but not because it was funny, he laughs because he's terrified of what words may escape your lips.

You do everything you can to avoid his eyes because the all too familiar feeling of tears surfaces on your waterline and his brows furrow at that. "Honey, you know you can tell me anything, yeah?" His question is lost to you as he cups your face thumbing away the tears before they got a chance to slip down your cheeks. The feeling of his eyes searching yours for any answer to all the questions that he's thinking about is a scary feeling.

"I'm pregnant," it comes out as a whisper, but the way the color completely drains from his face, you know he understood every syllable of those two words. For a split second, he stares at you with a look you don't think you've ever received from him before, "That's... wow." A strangled breath of half relief and half worry escapes you at his response.

Your soul leaves your body as he racks his brain for something to say to express just how he's feeling, but he's almost certain there is no possible way to verbally explain it. Now tears are welling up in his pretty blue eyes, "That's insane, I dunno what to say, are you sure?" His voice is trembling just as much as his hands as you place the test into his palm, he gets choked up as he reads over the same word that had your stomach in knots before with nothing but admiration and surprise.

"Holy fucking shit," he gapes, pulling you into him so tight it nearly knocks the wind right out of you. You laugh now as it settles into your mind that Joe would never do anything to hurt you or your baby in any way possible and to think he would ever leave in a situation like this one was silly, but thinking irrationally tends to happen quite a lot.

"I'm gonna be a dad, I need to call-" you cut him off before he's able to go on his rant, "How about we pause, and we can tell whoever we want in the most extravagant, Joseph Burrow way possible?" He snorts at that, pulling his face away from his place against your shoulder, muffling some form of agreement against your lips, then your jaw, neck, and clavicle, and lowering himself to his knees.

For a moment he looks up at you, "Sorry if I scared you with my response, I don't usually know what to say in times like this and my brain went into shock mode."

[pureblx0d]

“IN THE BACK SEAT” Bada Lee x Reader.

Summary: Bada and reader are best friends who share everything, even fantasies.

W: Nsfw, oral sex, dom!bada x sub!reader, a light mention of alcohol and smoking, like porn with a pretty poor plot, Open ending maybe(?), no readproof

You and Bada have been best friends since high school, you two basically grew up together and knew everything about the other from your favorite color to your most dirty secrets.

It was something almost natural and without taboos in your friendship, that's why you weren't surprised when after she got her driver's license and bought her first car told you that she wanted to fuck someone in the back seat.

What did surprise you is that months later she still hasn't fulfilled her fantasy and even more so that those words had been engraved in your brain.

Now, you were drinking with your classmates celebrating that exam season was over when suddenly the conversation wasn't so entertaining anymore and the beer was starting to taste like "I want to go home."

And that's what you did, you said goodbye to your friends before assuring them that you were sober enough to take a taxi on your own.

A taxi equal Bada, who had also become your personal driver.

Who was outside the bar leaning on her car smoking a cigarette wearing her practice clothes already waiting for you, when she saw you she put out the cigarette against the floor opening the passenger door for you.

"You know, you could get your own license so I don't have to be looking for you at 2 in the morning." Bada spoke half jokingly, half seriously once you were both in the car. "or take a taxi, a real one"

"Please you know that you love being my driver." And she couldn't deny it, she really didn't mind looking for you at 2 in the afternoon or 2 in the morning. if that ensured that you were going to arrive safely at your destination.

Once the car began the journey to your house, both having casual conversations about how her day was and some college gossip, your head was resting on the seat as you watched her speak.

But you weren't really listening to her, you were too focused on the way her fingers were tapping on the steering wheel and the car was filling with her smell that consisted of in her usual perfume mixed with the smell of her menthol cigarettes while in your mind the "I want to fuck someone in the back seat" repeated itself over and over again.

"What's the matter?" Bada asked when she saw how you watched her in a suspicious silence stopping at a red light.

"I want you to fuck me in the back seat" you blurted out without mincing words, You didn't know if it was the alcohol speaking for you (even though you hadn't had enough to drink) or the fact that you really wanted it.

Bada looked at you surprised, she knew that you were always direct and sincere to talk about what you wanted but she never expected you to say something like that so easily.

It's not that she hadn't thought about it before, she never thought about you romantically or sexually (at least not seriously) but that didn't mean that sometimes her mind will play tricks on her imagining you on situation like that.

"don't talk nonsense" She scoffed try to lighten the situation as she turned her attention to the road when the light turned green. "you should stop drinking"

"I'm being serious." You adjusted yourself better to look at her. "What's wrong, don't you want to do it or don't you want to fuck me?"

The answer to both questions was no, She wanted to do it and especially with you but you were is best friends, she didn't want to ruin your friendship by fulfilling a silly fantasy.

The car was silent, you regretting your proposal and Bada having an internal debate which ended in her grunting and stopping the car a few blocks from your house, At that time the place was deserted.

"In the back seat now" was the only thing Bada said before moving herself behind, you wasted no time and quickly positioned yourself on her lap, joining your lips with hers in a desperate and messy kiss.

Without stopping kissing you and in one smooth movement you ended up against the seat beneath her, her hands roaming your body as if she had been wanting that for a long time.

Bada moved her hands up your legs acknowledging that you had chosen to wear a skirt that day giving her better access to what she planned to do, her lips moved down to your collarbones as her hands began to play underwear teasing you.

She wasn't planning on stripping you even though what she wanted most was to be able to rip off your clothes But on the contrary, she only left a few kisses on your stomach before finally removing your panties.

Leaving wet kisses on the inside of your thigh when her tongue connected with your clit a gasp of surprise for the sudden pleasure escape your mouth and unconsciously your legs closed "you wanted this, now don't run"

Bada murmured into your skin, her hands gripping your hips to prevent you from moving, before connecting her lips to your pussy again, licking every part of you.

Your hand settled into Bada's hair, burying her head even deeper into you, both of you wondering why you hadn't done this before.

Bada took her time on you, making you enjoy every second of it, leaving little praises about how well you taste and how she could become addicted to this.

And she wasn't lying, this was a situation that she was going to repeat over and over again, she had many things planned for you.

It didn't take long for Bada to feel how your grip became looser and your breathing faster announcing that your orgasm was near, so she inserted two fingers. hitting your sensitive spot making you see stars.

When you managed to pronounce "I'm close" Bada removed her lips from your clit and starting to kiss you, leaving only her fingers to do the work.

"It's okay, you did well." Bada put her hands on your back holding you while you tried to catch your breath. "Let's go home so we can finish this."

.end.

~Mich<3

[xoxoamyas]

Alone Without You (But I'm Still Here)

rating : hurt/comfort, petnames used on reader [ love + sunshine ]

wilbur x gn!reader [ use of you/yours, no use of y/n ]

☆ wilbur finally comes home from touring after you have had a long few months day. <3

masterlist [ ☆ ]

note : n/a [ enjoy ! ]

⋆˙⟡

It had been a long day, and you were ready to curl up into your bed. Getting home was hard enough for you because you had to go through the motions you went through every day.

You didn't bother with flicking the lights switch to the living room, just walking about almost automatically till you reached your horribly empty bedroom. Fighting back tears as you flicked only that switch up, standing in the threshold to your bedroom, staring at the messy and unmade bed.

Usually, you'd have someone to share it with, someone to kiss away the bad and ugly terrors of the harsh day. But your love had been gone for nearly two full months now, having been on tour with his band.

You were proud of him, him being Wilbur. You texted him good morning, and I love you. As consistently as possible, anyway. You usually got a response, whether it was right away or delayed. Today had been a no response day, a day he was meant to go out on stage.

You don't know how long you stood there for, but eventually, you managed to move your heavy feet towards Wilbur's dresser. Pulling the top drawer out and picking one of Wilbur's sweaters you had seen him wear before, pushing the drawer closed after and trying not to stumble over to your bed as you tried to take your clothes from the day off. Now sporting the sweater and, eventually, some soft shorts to rest in.

You almost forgot about the light, trying not to cry over how overwhelmed you already were from the events of the day. You didn't want to walk all the way back over to the light switch, the idea of it all making you feel worse than you initially did.

After a long internal debate and disagreement, you found it better to turn the light off, seeing as that would make resting much easier. You were quick to find yourself in the bed on Wilbur's side right after, curling up around one of the two pillows Wilbur usually used to sleep with.

Just a couple more weeks, you tell yourself.

It's difficult, though, especially with how lonely it's gotten. You haven't been the same since he started touring. You tried hard to stay in contact with at least your own friends, and you tried talking to them about stuff you would usually discuss with Wilbur. Yet it all felt wrong. It felt out of place.

Wilbur was your best friend as much as he was your lover. He meant the world to you, and you wanted to stay by his side throughout it all. But you loved him to an unsurprising fault. You wanted him happy, and if that happiness for him was singing his heart out on stage for fans rather than being in bed with you after a long day? Then you supported it.

Sometimes, like right now, as tears silently trail down your face and against the pillows you used, you wonder what would've happened if you told him honestly how you felt about the touring. It was breaking you, tearing you apart at the heart.

You fall asleep, swarmed with the negative thoughts and the feeling of longing for a lover that's not where he could've been. You're asleep long before the front door opens.

Wilbur had been at the airport, seeing the notification for an "I love you" from his favourite person, yet he's distracted before he gets the chance to respond. The gates to his flight had been announced, meaning he had to rush and get to his plane with the rest of his band and crew.

It's long, longer than Wilbur would have liked, but they eventually had finished the process of everything. Boarding the plane and sitting for what felt like forever before it finally touched ground once more.

Tiredly, each individual took their respective rides to their own homes. It was nearly four in the morning by now, and Wilbur was definitely struggling with jet lag, yet that didn't deter his own growing excitement.

He was headed home to his beloved, happy to finally get to hold you in his arms once more. Wilbur was silly, yes, but he knew you'd be long asleep. That's why he remains silent when he finally makes it home, not daring to utter a single word as he clicks the front door shut behind him. Taking a deep breath of the welcoming air before letting out a sigh of relief and thanks.

Wilbur takes his time, knowing that he's likely to stay up until later into the evening. His first stop after abandoning his shoes by the front door is your shared room. He hadn't bothered to knock, not wanting to awaken your slumber as he slipped into the room. His heart melted as his gaze landed on you in the dark room, able to tell that your form rested in his usual spot, clutching a pillow in your grasp.

Momentarily, he had to stop and remind himself it was a pillow. He would not be jealous of a pillow.

Wilbur steps closer after a moment of basking in the atmosphere. He has to strain his eyes, but he can tell from anywhere that you had gone to sleep upset. Gently, he presses his hand to your cheek and can feel the old tears dried on your face. His heart breaks for you as he momentarily notices that you're wearing his sweater.

For the time being, he carefully removes the pillow from your hold. Not bothering to change out of his own clothes, the idea on the back of his mind more than anything. His arms effortlessly slotted around your waist after sliding you both closer towards your side of the bed.

“I'm home,” He hummed out softly, knowing you weren't conscious to hear him but that at least your subconscious and body would pick up on his presence. He hoped he could ease you more than you already were, if you even were.

When you wake up, it's not an alarm that wakes you. Something you had forgotten to set in the midst of getting caught up with your feelings the night before. You wake up to a foreign yet familiar warmth surrounding you, an arm around your waist and a hand combing through your hair gingerly.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize Wilbur was in your bed holding you. However, it does take a minute to realize that your tears have started up again.

“You're alright, love, I'm right here.” Wilbur gently hushes you as he moves his hand in your hair to gently cup the back of your head. Successfully, he pulls you closer so that you're comfortably pressed against him, head against his chest as his chin rests atop your head.

“I thought you weren't coming home anytime soon?” You manage to mutter, the words muffled. It takes a minute for Wilbur to process the words in full, but he softly sighs when he realizes what you've said.

“I know, sunshine, and I'm so sorry. But I'm home now, I'm safe, you're safe.” His reassurances help you even just slightly.

You can't bring yourself to say anything, none of the words you want to say are going beyond your thoughts. The thoughts that circle you like vultures waiting for their snack.

You just sigh, letting your body relax as your arms move to hug and curl around his back. Holding him just as close and tight without hesitation. You've been without him for too long, and you think the hold is enough to start with for the moment.

Though Wilbur can tell there's more that needs to be said, he leaves it be. He knows you'll talk to him when you're ready.

For now, he's holding you as close and tight as he possibly can. Pressing a sweet kiss to the top of your head as he lets himself properly relax with you.

[urf1lterr]

afterglow | pedro pascal [2/3]

"tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine, even when i lose my mind"

previous chapter: [1]

summary: being nominated for an oscar was a dream come true, until you had to spend the rest of the night near your deceitful ex who still loved you.

pairing: actor!pedro x actress!reader

genre: acting world!au, enemies/exes to lovers ?? au | angst, fluff, fighting, mature

word count: 15k

status: 2/3 complete

author's note: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT LOVES. even though its gonna be three parts lol i still want you to want more. i've been confused on my writing because tbh- i feel like i could do better and keep rushing with these storylines and end up regretting them AFTER they are posted lol. not edited- it really isn't.

"Let's cut the chit-chat and get some real answers, why did y'all breakup?"

"Andrew!"

"Three days have passed, she's fine now," he defended, shrugging as Florence shot him an irritated look by his prying behavior.

It has indeed been a few days since the terrible night that consisted in you meeting your favorite artist, crying beside her, running awkwardly away right after, having a screaming match with your ex, and then passing out in the car.

So, you couldn't deny it wasn't a memorable night.

The past three days could've been better to say the least if your management team stopped spamming you with text messages concerning the fight, maybe even ignoring the loads of pictures of your crying face.

Oh, the pictures. Not a fun sight to see.

Luckily for you, the pictures were only ones inside the party near Andrew- not Pedro. Unfortunately, though, your picture was turned into a 'crying in the club' meme.

You couldn't exactly be mad over it, you loved memes.

Thank the Lords the paparazzi were clueless and never ended up catching your argument with Pedro or you wouldn't know how to cover it up.

You could never get away with the typical 'friends fighting' after he shouted how much he loved you.

And bless the celebrities near you for minding their business.

To clear up your meltdown, you took it upon yourself to send out a quick tweet the next morning with a "i'm sorry i'm an emotional drunk. one second we're talking about 500 days of summer and then...well you already know how THAT ends."

In that moment you couldn't care less if people believed you or not, this was going to pass fast anyway.

Now here you were, sitting in front of your kitchen bar as Andrew and Florence decided to pay you a visit because they missed you- or so they say.

Realistically, they wanted to see if you were still a hot mess.

Which you weren't, obviously.

Shailene would have tagged along, but she was busy doing grown up things, such as working on her latest project Andrew claimed which was a slight bummer. She was the mediator, now who else was going to stop the arguments calmly between your two friends.

Florence disagreed, shaking her head. "You can't just ask her that, it's impolite."

Sighing, Andrew sent you an apologetic glance. "Okay, I am sorry." Not taking his eyes off you, you could feel his curiosity and eagerness from the other side of the kitchen. "But we're all thinking it."

Judging by how unresponsive Florence became, you could tell she wasn't going to fight him on this. And well, she was secretly on his side because your fight with Pedro was seriously excessive.

She just wanted to know what he could've done to make you so angry, it didn't make sense to her if he did cheat. He didn't seem like the type, but some people do the most surprising things- so she couldn't really tell.

"Do you want the last reason or all of them?"

Widening his eyes, Andrew shares a glance with Florence for a swift second before finding your eyes. "Last reason?"

"The last fight we had that led us to finalize our breakup."

"Finalize," he giggled, leaning on the marble counter. "This isn't a divorce process."

"For a person who is so concerned about my relationship crisis, you seem to be catch on to the most irrelevant stuff."

"So you admit you still want to be with him," Andrew declared, giving a smug look as you tried to process his words. "If you're still stressing over him, it means you don't want to let him go."

"I never said I was stressing over hi-"

"Did she or did she not just claim she was undergoing a crisis-," Andrew interrupted, slightly raising his voice. "-a relationship crisis, to be exact."

Florence sheepishly looked your way, capturing your stern expression before slowly nodding.

Your male friend clapped his hands loudly before bursting out a wider grin, happy someone had his back. "There we have it, if he's on your mind that much to turn into a crisis- you still love him!"

Furrowing your brows, you didn't know how to respond. It was true, you had many moments where Pedro agitated you even when you haven't been near him for quite some time.

But isn't being wound up over an ex part of healing?

Truth be told, you knew your feelings for Pedro hadn't completely disappeared, but love? You weren't even sure love existed by your past experiences.

"I do not love him," you hiss, vigorously snatching the water bottle on the counter and aggressively opening it. "How can love be real? It's baffling."

"Questioning the real question with a question," he sneers, making Florence and you become confused as ever. "You're so in love him."

Florence cuts in, squinting her face in puzzlement. "Wait- what's the real question she's supposedly questioning with a question?"

"Love!" he cheers happily before placing his hand on his palm, dreamingly gazing at you. "You have your doubts on what love may be, but without knowing it you're having them because you're questioning your love to Pedro since you're too scared to admit you still love him."

"I don't get it."

Rolling your eyes, you swiftly turn away and head towards your living room to lay on your couch. You were not in the mood to have someone else tell you what your feelings were when they weren't you. "I'm done with this conversation."

Hearing a low slapping noise, following an irritated hiss, you could make out Florence's displeased voice. "See what you did! Now she's not going to tell us."

"So much for moral support, you really are nosy," Andrew fought back, whispering loudly.

A minute or two went by since you couldn't make out what they were saying before rushed footsteps soon made their way near you as your friends awkwardly smiled, hoping they didn't upset you too much.

Because they really wanted to know the drama.

Pushing him roughly from behind, Florence sent you an innocent smile as Andrew landed near your side of the couch, trying his best to hold his composure and not turn back around and start another fight.

Placing a light hand on your shoulder, you blankly glance at it before meeting his attention. "We just wanted you to know we totally understand if you aren't comfortable...expressing your past-"

"Get your hand off me and let's get this over with so you two can leave already."

Florence quickly sat right beside Andrew, both not offended with your statement because they were fully aware of how annoying the were becoming.

Before you could say anything, Florence quickly spoke aloud. "Start from the beginning!" Andrew slowly looking back to her, he sent her a confused look. "So we aren't lost, of course."

Laughing lightly, you nod before adjusting yourself on your seat. It was going to be hard to remember all the details clearly because there really wasn't an exact time issues occurred, it kind of just naturally appeared here and there.

Now that you think of it, majority of the tiny disputes during the earlier days of your relationship were probably on the same level as when you two were splitting, but maybe the dense ones created towards the end really made it hard to continue.

"If I'm being totally honest, we never really had problems when we first started dating. He was really great," you begin, clutching onto a pillow you found right beside you. "And he would always make sure to watch me make it inside my house before leaving, that was when I knew he wasn't some fling."

Andrew smirked, nodding proudly. "Classic move."

Smiling at the thought, you focused your mind to uncover the ugly truths that slowly tore you two apart.

"But then one day, I wanna say a few weeks after our second anniversary, we just started...fighting?"

Tilting your head, you look down as sad memories began pouring through your mind completely. "It wasn't our usual small fights over who left the bathroom floor wet or dropping his ipad in the pool-"

"-you dropped his ipad in the pool?" Florence coughed, bewildered by your scandalous actions.

"He wanted to know if it was waterproof," you defended.

"Was it?"

"No," you nervously reply, avoiding their eyes. "But he had it backed up and I bought him a new one!"

"That was kind of a bitchy move," Andrew muttered, catching your pissed gaze. "But at least you made up for it!"

Maybe it wasn't that great of an idea to just throw it in, but he did say he was really curious and wanted to dump it under the sink.

"Anyway," you start back up again, making Andrew lowly sigh in relief. "Our fights were never that serious, or at least not until he started filming for that new tv series he joined."

Florence spoke up, lightly questioning "The Last of Us?"

Nodding, you shrugged. "I guess it's normal to say the time apart did cause a rift in our relationship, but it wasn't too bad. He always made sure to call and facetime at least once every two days."

"But one day when he was visiting during his week break he just...snapped?" you frowned, not even wanting to visualize the tiny argument.

You had to for your own good.

"He had been home for maybe two days before he suddenly became moody. Like- his attitude was insane, I have never seen him like this ever," you sigh, closing your eyes for a second before continuing. "He didn't want to go out to eat, didn't want me to make him food, and when I offered to have it delivered he slammed the bedroom door on my face and claimed he was going to bed."

"Woah, why would he do that?" Andrew asked, seriousness splattered all over his face.

You wish you knew.

"Not sure, I just thought maybe work was stressing him out so I wanted him to have his alone time to clear his mind."

"Did that work?"

Sitting up straighter, you send a sorrowful smile. "For the rest of that week-yes. He ended up apologizing to me when I tried going to bed and said his manager was being tough on him for some scenes they had done."

You remember the moment you walked inside your bedroom, disappointed that he was awake. Not wanting to cause more tension, you planned to sneak under the covers and deal with the incident in the morning.

But his arms slowly wrapping over your waist as you had your back facing him said otherwise. Pulling you closer, you remember the soft "please don't be mad at me" he whispered near your ear, making sure you felt his tight embrace as if to prove you were his.

That night ended with you turning your body over to face him, accepting his open arms as a way to answer his pleading way of forgiveness.

Like always.

"Once he went back to work, we still talked- but I could tell he wasn't fully engaged like he always was," you sulk, remembering the first time you caught him not listening. "It got to the point where I purposely stopped answering his calls."

Your friends quickly send you a shocked look, you continue before they could intercept. "I couldn't handle his lack of attention, I would rather have him panic from the rejected calls than just tell him why I was upset."

It wasn't your best move, but you were frustrated. It wasn't fair that he was the one who got to treat you poorly and you had to accept it.

You admit, maybe if you communicated with him about these issues you could've prevented many future arguments and even saved your relationship.

But you were human and sometimes humans act human.

"Then what happened?" Andrew asked, a curious appearance plastering his face. "You continued ignoring him?"

Laughing lightly, you shake your head. It was the plan, but plans don't always work out. "Actually, he secretly took a flight back home one weekend and confronted me."

Gasping, Florence jumped up in her seat and moved her leg under her. "No way!"

"Yes, way," you sheepishly reply, embarrassed at the memory. You can still picture the way Pedro stood in your shared bedroom as you stepped out of your bathroom, jumping at the sight of him.

Standing with his arms crossed with his bags thrown by the door, he was determined to figure out what was going on with you.

"I wouldn't say we engaged in a heated argument, but it was surprisingly really emotional."

Andrew leaned his body closer, too interested not to let his questions slide. "Were you guys never emotional? I feel like every couple experiences those moments together- it's what makes them stronger."

It should've made you two stronger, but instead it made you weaker without you realizing it.

"Pedro and I had our minor instances, but it never involved problems we were facing," you began, sighing slightly. "All I remember was finding him standing near the bed with no emotion- none. I couldn't read what he may have been feeling, he just looked so....empty?"

"Empty? That's not good." Florence commented.

"That could mean a lot of things, not necessarily anger," Andrew added, trying to make you feel better.

"I knew deep down he was mad, as he should be- I was the one ignoring him," you defended him, taking full responsibility over your childish actions. "But I could tell he was more hurt that mad."

"What did he say?"

"What's going on?" Pedro questioned, his eyes not daring to leave yours as you freeze- stopping your attempts at brushing your wet hair, extremely confused as to why he was here.

He wasn't supposed to visit for another month, or so he said.

"Pedro?" you squint your eyes, still not sure if he was really in front of you or maybe you were daydreaming. You were high off many shots of espressos, it's finally hitting you. "Is that you?"

Still staring plainly at you, he stays right where he was. In any other circumstances he would have run up and wrapped his arms tightly around you, but this night was different.

He looked disorientated, out of place. His eyes lacked intensity as his body followed, looking as stiff as ever. Even his breathing matched his energy, calm yet unsettled.

You left him confused and he did not like that. "Answer my question."

Batting your eyes faster, you realize what was going on and where he was. Gasping, you do the exact opposite of what he wanted. "What the hell are you doing here?! You're not supposed to be home- you could get fired a-"

Taking a hold of your arms, he stills you and ignores your rambling. "What-" he begins, moving his right hand to the back of your neck and forcing you to focus on him only. "-is going on?"

Freezing, you try to back your head away from his grip but he tightens his grasp, making sure to not be too rough so he doesn't actually hurt you- he would never do such a thing. "I don't understand-"

"You haven't been answering my calls, what else is there to understand?" He sternly recalls, not wanting you to bullshit your way out of this. "So you either have been ignoring me on purpose to be petty or this is your way of hinting you don't want to be with me anymore."

Shaking your head frantically, you try to talk but he cuts you off again. "-And don't say you've been busy. You and I both know I would have figured out if you had added projects to your schedule- your mom tells me everything."

If this were a good time, you would have laughed at his side comment regarding your mother, but it wasn't.

"Not everything," you spit out, causing him to squint his face and release his hands from you.

"Are you trying to tell me something? Are you not happy? Is that why you've been avoiding my calls?" he questions, tilting his head in bewilderment, not liking your attitude at the moment. "Because if you really don't want to be with me you should've told me sooner than leaving me feeling fucking clueless while I'm out in another country working."

"I'm not saying I don't want to be with you-"

"But you aren't denying it," he intercepts, firmly nodding in realization. "I get it, I'm just glad I know now and won't have to wait another month to finally understand how you're feeling."

Walking away from you, Pedro walks towards his bags and reaches down for them. You scoff at his disturbed demeanor. There is no way you should be the only one at fault here- you both made mistakes.

Pushing his backpack off his hands, he watches at it lands on the floor before instantly finding your eyes. "Are you seri-"

"Just because I'm avoiding your calls doesn't mean I want to end our relationship" you shriek, glaring at him as his eyes soften at your hidden truth.

Your angered expression and stiff posture hits him like a brick, there was something really bothering you and he was too oblivious to acknowledged it until you began overlooking him.

Taking a deep breath, you watch as your boyfriend intently examines you as if he's trying to read your impractical mind. Sometimes, he wished you would speak up when something was bothering you, in fact- he has told you many times in the past to do so.

But the idea of patiently waiting until it erupts is what he's sure you've normalized in fear of desertion. Or maybe refusal of reality- the two of you weren't perfect.

"What's going on?" He calmly questions again, dropping any signs of fury and replaces it with worry and concern. Reaching out to you, he softly clasps your shoulder before moving in a few inches. "Am I making you upset?"

Slapping his hand away, you cross your arms over your chest in agitation. "I'm mad at you!"

Blinking a few times, he couldn't believe how fast you spilled and chaotic your energy was. He's never seen you act this hysterical and to be honest, he was really debating asking if you were on your period or not. "Why?"

Pursing your lips together, you release your arms and let them fall on your sides. "You know why!" With that, you turn your back to him and make your way back to your bathroom to hide.

At this point, you felt it was acceptable to act unbearable- he left you feeling insignificant and you weren't going to hold it in anymore.

If you stayed there any longer you knew you would break down into tears. Showing your vulnerable side this early into an argument was too easy, you have to show how bold you were in order to get your point across.

Or anger across.

But it was really hard to hold a grudge, he was just so- loving, despite your recent incidents. Deep down, he did care about you and wanted to validate your feelings- or as best he could.

Grabbing anything you could find near your sink, you begin opening some moisturizer and splatter it around your hands to keep you busy. You could feel Pedro come inside your shared bathroom but you don't dare to peep his way.

"Honey- please," you heard him release a soft sigh as he stood behind you, watching through your huge mirror in front of the two of you. He could make out your distressed appearance and you were absolutely not fine. "You can't just steer clear from this, we need to talk about it-"

Slamming the poor jar on the counter, you swiftly twist your body to his front and feel all the rage taking control. "But did you want to talk all those times I called you?! No, you didn't give one fuck about me or Leia!"

"You named your dog after Princess Leia? That's smart," Andrew butted in, grinning. "You know, since he's in the Mandalorian and Star W-"

"We get it."

Maybe it was wrong to bring your beloved corgi into such a serious topic, but she was abandoned by her father too.

"I did talk to you! I made sure to call you whenever I had time an-"

"I'm glad I made it into your schedule- but maybe if you considered adding some compassion and empathy it wouldn't feel like I'm just another business call you hate!"

Panting, you send daggers his way as his eyes widen. Did you just say he doesn't care about your calls? Impossible- he loves your calls, it makes his days better.

"You aren't a business call and you know that. Honey, please understand- hey!" He cuts himself off once you finally had enough of his poor attempts to defend himself, trying to flee but he ends up being quicker on his feet and yanking you back to his arms.

But once you were wrapped around him, even though it was for pure captivity and not warmth, you instantly broke down. He didn't know you were in tears until he felt his shirt become damp and still then he just thought you were trying to spit on him out of anger.

Hearing your tiny whimpers, he immediately glanced down and lifted you up to catch a clear view of your face, despite your protests and blockings. "Baby, I-I didn't mean to make you cry-"

"You don't mean a lot of things," you spit out, swatting his hands that dared to reach your face. You weren't in the mood to make up, all you wanted to do was sleep your troubles away, especially with the draining work day you had.

Continuing your pulling, Pedro began becoming annoyed with your strong protests against his affection. Isn't this what you wanted? "Why won't you let me hold you? I want to console you, can't I be your boyfriend for the night and tomorrow you can continue hating me?"

"You see my tears and now you want to hold me but admit we'll still be out of place tomorrow? That's acceptable for you?" you laugh ruthlessly, allowing space to be brought in front of you. "Do you hear yourself?"

Groaning, he rubs his face hard before speaking his mind, trying not to sound too furious and scare you. "What do you want me to do? I admit, I did lack some energy-"

"Some?" you snort to yourself, your face still wet.

"Don't interrupt me," he declared, shaking his head at how rude you were becoming. "I wasn't the best partner, okay?! There, I admit it, but you don't understand how it is working constantly and not being able to see family and friends and-"

"It's like you don't even know me at all," you ignorantly chuckle over his nonsense and walk towards your bed.

What a way to dismiss your feelings.

"That's not what I meant," he sighs, following after and stopping you from opening your covers and hiding underneath them. "It's just hard being away from everyone I love, I'm in a different country. It's not like I can drive an hour away and suddenly see them!"

"I can't do that either!"

"Can't you just please, please, please- consider that my mindset is not good right now," he declares, his eyes filling with sadness as his arms slowly find your waist. Taking a deep breath, you watch as he looked up at the ceiling before biting his lip. "I know I am not being the best partner right now- or for the past few months, but I am trying."

As soon as uncertainty flushed your face, his hands tightened as his expression deepened into an emotion you never seen him explore before- dejection.

"I can't promise you I'm suddenly going to wake up and give you 110% every interaction we have," he began, his voice lowering as he tried to keep his emotions in check. "But I confess- I am being a little shit and I am willing to work on that. Just please- please don't push me away. Try to understand my situation."

He wasn't wrong, his life switched around once he accepted the role of Joel Miller and you should've known from the start he would face some difficulties. Maybe you were being too self-centered and invalidated his feeling too, not just him.

Sometimes he wasn't good with words when expressing himself and made you feel as if you weren't as popular as him, but you knew it was never his intention to hurt you like that. He had a heart and loved to use it.

Fighting over work should never be a reason to be miserable especially when it's how you both get your income.

"I-I understand," you lightly speak up, watching as his eyes light up by the sound of your now calm voice filling his ears. "I just want you to know that it didn't make me feel good-"

"Of course it wouldn't make you feel good, I was being horrible," Pedro intercepted, pulling you into a tight hug and landing his face in your neck. "And if I wasn't thousands of miles away I would totally spoil you with kisses and chocolates as my sorry."

"Chocolates are still in favor," you joke and feel him softly swat your bottom in disapproval.

Pulling away, he leans his face closer to yours and plants a sweet kiss upon your lips before backing up an inch and whispering softly, "I love you, you know that right?"

Smiling, you slowly nod and surprise him with a deeper kiss before answering him back with a familiar, "I love you, too."

"You better," he smirks, pulling his body on top of yours, hearing your light squeaks once your back hit the mattress and his lips snuck their way into the crook of your neck.

"Did you end up getting chocolates?" Andrew immediately questioned once you finished your long recollection of memories.

"That's not important," Florence rolled her eyes.

"I mean he did promise her it."

Chuckling at his curiosity, it amused you how focused he was about some candy. "Yes, he did- for like a month and then I got over them."

"Understandable," Andrew replied, looking down at his lap.

Florence jumped over him, making herself sit closer to you as he winced at her sudden movements. "Then what happened?! I mean, there had to be more right?"

"My god woman, I hope you're not working for TMZ," Andrew joked.

She shushed him before leaning closer to you, signaling you to continue on with your memories. "After that fight, things became pretty normal again. We would call each other with far more energy than before and he would even fly back home often to keep our communication strong."

"And how long did that last?"

Frowning, you took a small breath. "Like three months- then we started fighting more."

"Over?"

Rubbing your face, you groaned. "He went back to lacking energy! But that's not even the worst part."

"Please don't tell me he cheated," Andrew begged, covering his eyes with his hands while pulling a sorrow look. "I would never be able to look at him the same."

"I don't know if he did cheat- but I did find out two months before we ended things that he stayed the night at his exes."

Loudly gasping, the company you had began freaking out with their jaws dropping- literally. Florence angrily furrowed her brows, "you've got to be kidding? How is that allowed in a relationship?- It's not!"

Crossing your legs, you shrug as a way to answer her. You really did wonder what was going through his head when he did that. Sadly, you couldn't believe a word he said after you found out what he did.

Maybe that's why you were fine with ending things- because the trust was slowly disappearing.

"Not to mention he would always be with her and ditch plans with me," you form a tight smile, trying not to make things awkward but it was too late.

Who could possible hear this and not feel embarrassed for you? Classic move on his part to follow the 'being friends with my ex is okay' stereotype, but it only left you feeling unwanted and flawed.

Were you not good enough to be in his arms all those times he ditched you for her? And why couldn't he tell you what was really going on- unless he was truly hiding something unspeakable.

"Spill the beans."

Hearing a door slam, you jump up in a daze. You could feel sleep still linger on your body as you crank your neck to the side, capturing the bright '12:47 pm' located on top of your nightstand.

Slowly yanking your body up, you don't stretch as you hurry out of your room to the living room in search of the mysterious person who was either your missing boyfriend or an intruder.

Catching sight of his bright yellow t-shirt as he opens the refrigerator, you could feel your body boil up. "Where have you been? You snuck out last night without even telling me- do you even understand how worried I was?!"

Watching as he gradually turns his head to face yours, Pedro closes the fridge before leaning against the kitchen counter- completely relaxed despite your current state.

"I was out with friends," he declared, grinning to try and take pressure off from you- it didn't work. "I'm sorry, I will tell you next time. I didn't mean to worry you, my love."

Placing your hands on your hips, it pains you that you secretly don't believe a word he's saying. Normally, if this were the case, he would text you if you were sleeping or call you in the morning to inform you with what he'd done.

He did neither one.

Maybe you should test him? Ask him questions and see if he'll freeze up?

"And who were you with?"

He smiled, grabbing a cup from the pantry while easily answering, "Diego and Oscar- we had a couple of drinks and Oscar thought it would be best I stay the night."

Nodding swiftly, you examine him to see if there were any signs of him lying- there weren't. Fuck, you forgot he was an actor. It's literally his job to control his emotions! "And why didn't you call or at least send a simple text?"

After hearing your words, Pedro sends you a small smile before gently placing his cup down. Walking up to you, he opens his arms. "Baby, is that why you're so upset? Because I didn't call?"

Before you could answer, he engulfs you in his arms before swaying you both around. Feeling vibrations as he let out light giggles, you instantly dropped any suspicions you may have had because he had to tell the truth- he would never lie to you.

It's surreal how easily you could throw any convictions out the window when he touched you. It's like he jogged your memory.

"Well, why didn't you at least text?"

Removing his head from your neck, he squeezes you waist and sends you an amused smirk . "Because I was insanely drunk and if I would've used my phone it probably would have resulted in me leaving you hundreds of drunk voicemails confessing my love for you."

"And that's bad?"

He chuckled, shaking his head before pinching your side. "No, but it sure as hell is annoying."

Standing up straighter, you cautiously nod at his answer and watch as he lovingly smiled down at you. "Okay, I believe you."

"Did you really believe him?" Andrew asked.

"I call bullshit," Florence confidently declares, strong on her view that Pedro was not an honest person.

"Let me finish the story!"

Loud footsteps could be heard near your hallway as you stood behind the oven, trying your best to not burn these damn chocolate chip cookies.

Such a basic recipe yet so complex- it was truly aggravating.

"Y/n? Where are you?!" you heard you assistant squeal from a distance.

Trying to properly put your mitten on, you murmur a small "kitchen" before preparing yourself to open the oven. The amount of times you burned yourself thinking it was cool enough not to wear protection-

Point is- always wear protection.

Opening the oven door, you pull the tray of freshly baked cookies towards you as the footsteps became clearly audible. Right when the cookies were in your grip and being lifted, you heard your assistant yelp-

"Pedro was caught leaving his ex's house two days ago."

Throwing yourself up into a standing position, you forget about the tray of cookies until you feel the burning sensation upon your left arm. You accidentally pulled the tray too close to you. "Ow!"

Instantly panicking, your assistant rushes to your side in support and grabs a towel to fill with ice. Pressing downwards on the wound, you wince at the pressure that was building.

"What the hell are you talking about?" you still question, extremely curious to uncover what this situation was.

His ex? That's absurd, he hasn't dated anyone in years when you first met. It's definitely not like he was in contact with them when you made it official, he was always firm when it came with communicating with past relationships.

That was a big no-no, especially when one of your ex's tried reaching out after your last movie dropped. Pedro made it very clear how unhappy he was when he made an appearance at your premiere- your boyfriend not daring to leave your side and even blocking your view whenever your ex had the chance to gawk you up close.

At the time, people thought Pedro only attended because he was close with the director and has always been friendly with other actors. Little did they know he was being extra friendly with you behind the curtains.

"Someone snapped photos of him outside of her door! It looks like he just woke up, too." Grabbing the phone from her hands, you pull it closer to your face and watch what the screen uncovered.

There he was, your boyfriend of two-years smiling brightly as he steps outside her door in the clothes he wore the night before. The same ones he manipulated you with about being with Diego and Oscar that night.

Not just that, but peering on the side of the door was indeed his tall, beautiful ex who definitely aged like fine wine. Hell, she was gorgeous and everybody knew that.

And the fact that they broke up due to their long distance, at the time, did not help this situation. Now that they lived a few cities away, what now? Were you just a doormat he could walk all over and eventually throw away whenever he wanted something new?

Placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, you refuse to take your eyes off the screen as your assistant begins speaking. "Did you know he slept over?" Glancing up, she takes your downcast face as an answer and swiftly pulls you in a tight hug. "Oh no, I'm so sorry."

You were sorry for yourself, too. How could he lie right to your face so easily knowing he was doing it- intentionally. And the most fucked up part was he probably knew you would believe him- just like all the other times you did.

"I saw that picture!" Andrew exclaimed, bewildered at his recollection. "I thought the paparazzi caught him lacking after a hook-up- damn, I wish I would've known you were together sooner."

"Same, I would have unfollowed him," Florence added. "And nobody would've known it was because of you- since you two never been public."

Forcing a smile, you give her a tiny nudge on the arm. "Gee, thanks for being so considerate."

"Continue!"

"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before your flee.

Let's just say, things were pretty...eventful once you discovered his scheme.

For starters, after bawling your eyes out on your poor assistant's shoulder, she made her departure in order to clean up the spare bedroom she offered you to take if you weren't comfortable staying at your own place.

You accepted.

Once she was out the door, you fled to your bedroom and grabbed any suitcase close by and began stuffing it to the brim, not caring how disorganized it was professing as you reached for more clothes.

You were almost done packing your second bag full of makeup and bathroom necessities when you heard your front door open. Jumping up, you felt your eyes widen once you heard your name being chanted on by your boyfriend. "Y/n?!"

"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, drastically glancing around your now messy bathroom to make changes to your plan- only take things you really need.

Seconds pass and you find yourself zipping your bag and rushing out the door, that was until your body roughly collided with another- causing you to drop your belongings and land on the floor. Groaning, you hesitantly rise, immediately finding your boyfriend's body nearing yours as he pleads to help you off the ground.

"Baby, I'm sorry! I didn't see you coming out," he apologizes, using his fingertips to clasp your forearms to level you. "Look, I need to tell y-"

"Get off of me," you grit, forcibly slapping his palms off you, causing him to cease and stare stunned. He has never seen you once be this aggressive. Sure, you would reject his embrace whenever you two fought here and there, but slap? Not ever.

Brushing roughly past him, you gripped your larger suitcase by its handles and made a beam to the closest exit. You couldn't be around him, not when thoughts of him being unfaithful constantly drowned your head.

A strong tug of your makeup bag made you halt your movements, not by choice, as Pedro made sure to tighten his grip to prevent you from leaving. Glancing down at his now white, clenched hands, you glare. "Let go."

Shaking his head, he stared you down- irritated that you would just pack up and leave so quickly without even hearing his side of the story. Yes, he should have told you what really happened that night- but he knew how you'd react.

It was better to keep it sealed until he was ready to unveil- or so he thought.

"You let go," he hissed, raising one of his hands and smacking yours with it. You hate how much stronger he still was while only using one hand while you had two- fuck his strength and your poor muscles.

Groaning, you dig your feet onto the ground harder as you continue your tug-a-war charade with your selfish boyfriend who didn't seem to believe space was an understandable coping mechanism after he shattered your small heart.

"Fine," you yelp, shoulders falling slightly as he eases his grip- still holding on though. "We both let go on 3."

Tilting his head, he suddenly grew suspicious by your random middle ground. He knew you well enough to know you don't give up that easily, especially when he's fully sure, by your bolting efforts, you saw the picture. "How do I know you won't just run off after?"

"You're faster and stronger than me, you'll catch me eventually."

Internally agreeing, he knew you had a point. Even if you did escape, your little legs weren't going to get you far- he knows from all the times he tackled you down after you countlessly would steal his food.

"1," you begin, eyeing him to see if he would follow.

"2," he stared at you back, cautiously watching your every step.

Taking a deep breath, you count again. "3!" With that, you release your grip from your bag and watch as he still clutches on to the strap. "What the hell- we agreed on 3 we'd both let go!"

Nervously chuckling, he placed the bag on the ground and sheepishly smiled at you. He was glad to see you finally calming down. "Sorry, I didn't think you would actually do it."

Sending him an annoyed glance, he scratches the back of his neck for assuming you wouldn't follow your word. "Trust me, I always tell the truth."

Wincing at your cold tone, he frowns by your hard demeanor. "About that- I was going to tell you-"

Softly placing a hand over your head, you release a sound of discomfort and miss the way his eyes wander in curiosity.

"Can we talk about this after I take my supplements? I am not feeling too good," you cut him off, slowly touching your forehead as you watch his concern grow. "I forgot to take them this morning."

"You know you get bad migraines when you don't take them," he declared, sighing as he raised his hand and began softly rubbing your temple in ease.

He believed you were being serene because you weren't livid and allowed him to stop you from leaving- how wrong he was.

"I know but I had a crammed morning-"

"This is why we need to hire someone to walk Leia, we don't have enough time majority of the week!" he exhales, making you stare at the floor for the point taken. But there was no way you'd hire someone to walk your dog, that's ridiculous and a waste of money. "We'll talk after, let me grab them- stay here."

Sadly nodding, you allow him to flee towards your bathroom in search for your medicine. Peering you head a few inches to the side, you wait till the coast is clear before slowly, but firmly, grabbing your once lost bag and dashing out of your bedroom.

"I almost forgot about Leia," you muttered to yourself, instantly feeling bad at the thought of how quick you were to forget your baby. How terrible of a mother were you.

And what even was more mind blowing was how Pedro didn't catch your innocent acting. Truthfully, he must be trying to be extra helpful so you would believe him. Too late.

Finding your white corgi near the kitchen, you whistle lowly for her to follow as you peddled your way to your garage. "C'mon doggie, if daddy notices our escape plan he won't let us leave that easil-"

"Y/n?!"

Jaw dropping, you shoot a glance of panic to your dog, who only blankly stares back, before rushing to your parked car. "Just like Batman and Robin- now jump in," you hushed, opening the back seat so you could not only throw your bags back there- but also your tiny-legged corgi who struggles at first, but eventually makes it in.

Once you jumped into your seat and turned on the car, you catch a breathless Pedro rushing out through the door to your side. "Fuck."

"You tricked me!"

"You slept with another woman, asshole!" you yell back, glaring as he rolled his eyes- outraged by how unreasonable you were becoming. All he wanted to do was sit you down and have a normal conversation about this, but instead you kept running away.

Once again, he thinks you need to work on your communication skills.

"You used your failing health to your advantage- how sick are you?" he yelped, offended.

"They were gummy supplements!"

Touching your car door, he sternly peers at you as you quickly lock your doors in case he tried opening it. "I did not sleep with another woman," he started, inhaling strongly before releasing it. "Why would I do that when I am in a committed relationship? Huh? Do you think I am capable of cheating?"

Shrugging innocently, you pull a sarcastic face. "Not sure, I do know you're capable of lying- maybe infidelity is the cherry on top?"

Mouth gapping, he sends you a look of hurt and for a second you feel terrible by your choice of words. In your heart, you wanted to take it back- but your head thought otherwise.

"I would never be unfaithful to you- that's not who I am," he firmly states, feeling like absolute shit that you would even accuse him of being with another woman when you were all he thought about every single second of the day.

Dryly chuckling, you nod along to his words. He feels his heart ache, as if hundreds of knives jabbed through the delicate muscle by your painful mien. Did you really think that lowly of him?

"That's who you are to me now."

Once those words flew out of your mouth and he was able to process it clearly, he paused. Whole body turning stiff and cold, he scolded you profoundly before fiercefully charging towards your car door and pounding for entrance.

It was like a nerve was touched and he was not willing to be forgiving anymore. You struck him hard and he knew you meant it out of pure anger- not genuinely, but his awareness soon became replaced with treachery and he so badly wanted you to pay for your foul words.

"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before fleeing.

Mentally checking off your items before departure, you inhale sharply before lowering down your car's mirror and pressing your garage remote- allowing the door to gradually rise and Pedro to panic.

Cursing in his head, he couldn't let you drive away or else he might never see you for days and he couldn't bear the thought of you moping around in agony without at least hearing from him- the man in the picture- what actually happened that night.

Pressing on the lever and angling down to reverse, you nervously press on the gas and allow your car to drift back as your poor dog watched through the backseat his dad embarrassingly urging you to not go.

You prayed the neighbors couldn't hear a thing, if the cops came you're sure you would never go out in public for at least six months.

Realizing that it was now or never, you see from the corner of your eye a figure running towards the back of your car before a loud thump was heard.

Shakily, pressing on the brakes and putting your car on park, you jump out in horror by the sight of legs near your back tires.

You hit him.

"Shit!" you gasped, involuntarily sprinting- as if your body just knew how to react- and dropping down to your boyfriend's lifeless body-

"You ran him over?!" Andrew and Florence shrieked, interrupting your storytelling, causing you to glare and shush them.

"Shut the fuck up- it's getting to the interesting part!"

Hugging his body tightly, you could feel your face began to fall down and your body slowly begin to tremble. In a matter of seconds, you just knew your garage wasn't going to be a pretty sight to see.

Hitching your breath, you run your hands to your boyfriend's chest and shake him softly in hopes he would open his eyes- he didn't. With tears flushing down your face, you sniff as you grip onto him harder. "Please w-wake up," you begin, trying your best to keep your touch on him but you were a jittering mess. Not being able to stay still, you press your ear over his chest to see his he still had a pulse.

Sighing in relief, he did.

Squeezing his face, you frown as his expressionless face stills. Realizing he might have passed out over a concussion, your lips begin to tremble as you finally breakdown in tears and cradle him.

Leaning over from his side, you bend your body and embrace his head into your neck. "I am such a-a fucking idiot," you squeak, your eyes shutting as you don't have the power to keep them open. "I-I love you- I should've just stayed and t-talked-!"

Cutting yourself off, you ironically feel like the lifeless one despite your literal unconscious boyfriend being in your arms at the moment. Bitch, you really had the nerve. Swiftly kissing his cheek, you plunge yourself into his neck and cushion him with your body- being as fragile as ever when handling him.

Quivering in misery, you keep a strong grip onto him before you felt pressure along your side. "It's been minutes and you still haven't called 911? I could've been dead by now."

Screaming, you instantly drop the figure once on top of you and force your thighs to back up, causing you to sit perplexed on the concrete floor.

Glancing back up, you find your boyfriend brightly grinning your way, using his arms to hold his upper portion up as you looked back in confusion. Didn't you hit him?

"I was my own stunt double for some scenes," he speaks up, smiling to himself proud as you continued staying still, confused as to what had just happened. "As long as you have the right mentality- you can take a pounding."

Registering where he was going with this, you scoff and quickly allow your feet to hit the ground. Following after you, Pedro jumps at your unpleased sight and watches as you cooly open your back door to let your dog jump out before marching towards the door to your house.

"Wait? Are you mad at me for that, too?" He calls out, tilting his head in question and proceeds to get his answer by the slamming of the door behind you. "Never mind."

Angrily storming through your hallway, you accidentally run into the wooden desk placed against the wall. "Ugh!" you scream, turning around and giving it one hard kick before making your way towards your destination- the kitchen.

"What did the desk ever do to you?" Pedro mumbled to himself, stopping right by it once you were out of sight and fixing it back up against the wall, making sure the books settled on top were nested properly before going after you.

"So that's why one of the legs is chipped? I noticed that-"

"Shut up, Andrew."

"Sorry, go on."

Finding you near the blacked marbled kitchen bar, Pedro ceased his movements. To be honest, he was nervous to confront you. Not only did you find out he slept at his ex girlfriend's house, but he made you believe he was dead.

This was not going to end well.

"How could you do this to me?" He hears you ask, you back being in his peripheral view as you leaned your body over the counter, hands gripping the ends roughly.

"Do what?" he idiotically responds back, mentally slapping himself for having the audacity to question something he surely knows.

Slowly turning around, capturing his soft yet worried eyes, he catches onto your tear ones and breaks down on the inside. "Tell me the truth." you gulp, averting your eyes to your feet as you sense him bobble his head. "Did you sleep with her?"

Choking on air, he frantically shakes his head in dismay, not believing you would actually think that despite the past half an hour of him comprehending that you might so. Maybe he just couldn't believe it would ever come out of your mouth- but this whole situation made him nauseous.

Steadily finding his balance, he inched towards your frail body as you kept your contact with the floor strong, not daring to move it even when the sight of his shoes play in your mind. "Honey," he lowly calls out, lifting his fingers to your chin and hastily bringing your vision to his own. "No- I did not sleep or engage in any sexual nor romantic activity with her."

"Then why did you go to her house and not tell me?!" you cried, nudging his hand off your face, him immediately aiming towards your waist to still have you near. "Why would you do this to me? Why would you sleep over when you know how I would feel?"

"I can't tell you," he confesses, whispering softly. Feeling your face fall, you erupt into tears again as you lift up your palms to hide behind them.

Hiccuping, your hands twitch as they support your weight and force you to fall on top of the counter and continue watering your tears there. Everything was unfair and he couldn't seem to realize how bad your fights have progressed throughout the months.

"If you really care about me," you whimper, still behind your hands as he rubs circles on your waist. "You would consider my feelings and understand why I should know what you did with her."

Sighing, he releases you waist and rubs his forehead in frustration. Pedro wasn't the type to hide things in relationships. In fact, he was amazing when it came to expressing feelings and being honest while you were the same- but you typically took longer to reveal your troubles than he did.

But no matter how loyal he was to you, it wasn't his place to share someone else's business no matter who the association may be.

"I know, baby. I know- believe me," he whispers, pulling you in for a hug and lifting you off the counter as your sobs were felt among his chest. It broke his heart. "But I can't betray her, she needed me and trusted me to see her. I can't just deceive her."

"But you can do that to me?" you reply, catching him off guard as he shuts his eyes tightly by how accurate you were being. "It's okay, I understand."

"No," he shakes his head, groaning before staring you down. "You don't understand, hell- I don't understand this either. But what I need you to know is I did not kiss, flirt, wink, tease, or touch her in any sexual way. We did not have sex - there was no removing of any clothing-"

"Then why did you sleepover?!"

"She needed me," he simply replies, causing you to laugh ridiculy.

"I needed you and you left me," you spit out harshly, not believing how he could defend himself and think you would ever fine with it.

Grunting, he runs his hand over his hair before pouring all of his stress onto you. "What do you want me to do? I told you what happened- she needed me, I helped her, it took longer than expected so I fell asleep on the couch- do you want to touch my knotted back for proof? Because you can!"

"Why am I the one being yelled at?" you respond, watching his face fall in disappointment.

Staying in your position for a minute or two, you continued examining him as he did the same, not knowing where this was headed. That was until he motioned with his hand for you to move closer.

"Come here."

Furrowing your brows, you pause at his words. Did he think hugging was going to solve all of your problems- because it wasn't. "No-"

Feeling his arms glide up along your upper body and finally wrapping around your shoulders, he pressed you up against his chest into the warmest bear hug you might have engaged in.

It was...peaceful.

Sighing, he felt your body soften by the touch. Relaxing, you closed your eyes as he made it his mission to not ease up on his grip. "I didn't do anything with her," he whispers, laying his face comfortably on your shoulder. "I promise, I love you."

Sadly, his confession made you break down more as tears flooded your face and your body fell upon his grip. Easily wrapping his palms on the back of your head, he cradled you tightly and never left your sight once the rest of that day and week.

And that's how that fight ended- with you trusting his sweet nothings and letting him take over your body with his hugs and kisses because he somehow made you believe him.

Every single time.

You wish you could have moved on from that topic that night as you allowed him to show you how much he loved you, but unfortunately that wasn't an option.

Especially when paparazzi exploited more pictures with him and his ex the following weeks later.

"And what about your last fight? You know- the one that ended things," Andrew started, making you halt. "What happened then?"

Quickly standing up, you brushed your sweatpants down before sending him a tight smile. Now that you talked about sad memories you hadn't really thought of in months, you knew the mention of your last fight would only break you.

You weren't ready to undergoing the same pain you felt that night.

"I didn't know these talks about my past would take a toll on me, but they have. I don't want to talk about it, but I appreciate the two of you checking up on me- I really do, but I think its time for me to take a shower and maybe nap- it's been a tiring day."

Feeling your discomfort, Florence and Andrew exchanged a weary glance before looking back up to you, hesitantly nodding. Probably an intense memory, they were determined not to mention it again unless you came forward.

"Alright- but give us a call if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just plain old company!" Florence smiled, wrapping her arms around you for a quick hug before pulling back. "We can even have a sleepover."

"Count me out on that one," Andrew joked, bending down to give you the same hug. "But for real, you can cry on my shoulder any time."

"Thanks," you giggle, soon following them towards your front door as they say goodbye to your dog before departing in their own cars.

What an emotional day it has been.

-

"Do I really have to go? It's no use- I already seen the film. I don't want to rewatch it," you whine as your manager hushes you.

Walking down the side of the theatre, you clutch onto the oversized, black leather jacket you were wearing as your manager and assistant walked on either side of you, directing to to the entrance of a random theatre in the city.

Since the Oscars, nothing has really changed. It's been about three weeks now and there wasn't chaos anymore- it seemed like news about that night had already faded.

Regularly, you did chat with Florence, Shailene, and Andrew on the phone- individually at times throughout your past weeks- but nothing too crazy.

You all had your busy schedules and your manager was still being as hardworking as ever trying to exploit more of you to the press and on the screen. Safe to say, every time she had news it would always be something impressive.

Except for today, when she proudly announced after barging into your house during breakfast that there was a new film premiere you had to attend.

It's not like you opposed the idea- but you watched the film when the production team invited you to their private screening. It would be useless watching it again.

But as persistent as ever, your manager claimed there would be great press and directors attending the public's premiere, following with "an Oscar-nominated actress like you must make themself remembered."

As dramatic as always- but at least she was highly active in your career.

She did everything to make you get noticed, especially when you were at your lowest point mentally after your breakup.

Now onto past relationships, you hadn't heard any news regarding Pedro since you last saw him. Not that you wanted to, but for some reason he was still on your mind. Due to the fact you did sit with your friends ranting about your shared troubles, that's likely the reason.

But all jokes aside, you seriously can't stop thinking about him.

However, you were too scared to admit this to anyone. You tried telling Florence, but every time you mentioned his name she would immediately disregard him, pissed by how he treated you.

Which you loved that she had your back, but you needed someone else to have his own- oddly.

Maybe it was your head deep in thoughts that revealed how you were feeling, but your assistant seemed to notice that you weren't okay- mentally.

After checking in and finding a small crowd, you accepted that maybe most of the audience were in their seats already despite the film starting in almost an hour. Nudging you once your manager left to find one of the producers, you glanced at her as she motioned you to move towards the wall.

"What's up?"

She made a face, practically laughing at your question before continuing on. "Why don't you tell me 'what's up?' The whole ride here you've been silent and I know it's not because you were tired- you slept all afternoon, what's really up?"

Chuckling, you roll her eyes at how nosy she was being- but you knew she only wanted to help you. After working together for years, it was a ritual both of you performed: don't let the other be sad.

Surprisingly, it worked every time. She would hide you from people who upset you while you let her have more vacation days whenever she felt the same.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're thinking about him, huh."

Eyes widening, you shake your head quickly as she laughs at your poor attempt of denying her idea. But she knew right from the moment you got lost in your head that he was the one to blame.

"Don't worry, I won't tell," she whispered loudly, causing you to shove her as she laughed louder.

"Shut up, someone might hear you," you hiss, watching as she tried holding her breath to stop herself from cackling again. She just looked like a fish in need of water.

"Don't think about him then," she teased. "If it's making you lost in your thoughts! Wait- why is he in your head? I thought you hated him?"

Coughing, you shake your head. "I don't hate him- I could never."

"Never?" she raises a brow in shock. "I think we're seeing some progress here. You're falling back in loveeeee with him."

"No way," you scoffed as she grinned heavily. "I'm just thinking about the Oscars since that was the last work-related event I've been to since today and you know- he was there so he ended up in my mind...for a little."

She slowly nods, teasing a smug as makes it pretty clear she did not believe one word you said. Your assistant has seen everything, so she is quite familiar with your thoughts regarding Pedro.

She knows when your happily, sadly, angrily, and crazily daydreaming about him. In this case, she's stuck between happily and crazily- not seeming to find any hints of fury and sorrow through your expressions.

But definitely warmth and frustration- all due to him not being able to leave your head.

"When are you just going to admit you still love him?" She blurts out, causing you to snap your heard towards her. "Everybody sees it, you obviously have a soft spot for him if you let him be near you."

"Near me? He's never near me," you laugh. "And I never show signs I want him back, I don't. I made it clear for months now after perfectly avoiding him at all costs."

"Yeah, but he's still on your mind- that must mean something," she declares, causing your small grin to fall into a tight line.

That must mean something.

Did it?

Shaking that thought away, you reject her idea. "It means he traumatized me."

"It means you're in denial and scared to be with him again," she replied, placing her hands on her hips. "Look, I just know you two are meant to be. Next time you see him, talk to him. Tell him how much you care for him- even if you don't want to admit it in a lovey-dovey way. It can be friendly!"

Giving her a strange look, she lowers her energy quickly before looking around the room, making sure no one saw how enthuastic she became.

"You get the point!" she rolls her eyes. "Just be nice, maybe the both of you can form a friendship or just drift apart knowing there's no hard feelings."

"But there is hard feelings," you declared, pointing out the obvious.

There is a reason why you two broke up, like there is also a reason why you despise him. It all comes down to history and actions, which you've both experienced- which is why, again, you broke up.

"Just..." she started, thinking about it for a second before sending you a sincere glance. "-give it a shot. If you don't hate him, like you said, it wouldn't be terrible to be civil."

Slowly nodding, you understand where she's coming from. This tension between Pedro and you was getting old, and the fact it was only you adding fuel to the non-existent fire since you've broken up is sad.

Especially when all he's been around you was sweet and considerate of your feelings, leaving you alone when he felt your energy- except for that one night, but you have to admit that was your fault for riling him up.

The roughness of heels came marching your way, forcing the both of you to instantly lift your head- finding your manager striking a fake breaming grin with two men beside her. She was trying too hard.

"Girls! This is Greg and Shawn- the writers of the film!" she exclaimed, fluttering her lashes rapidly as both men awkwardly raised a hand, waving it.

Releasing a tiny chuckle, you do the same as your assistant walks closer, sticking out her hand to fully gain their attention and introduce herself.

What can you say- she was a charmer.

Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, your manager slightly pulls you closer to the strangers and strangely bobbles her head- preparing whatever gibberish was about to spit out of her talkative mouth.

"Y/n- the boys thought it would be a great idea to sit in the vip selection among other A-listers- isn't that just lovely? We are very grateful for your offer-"

Boys? Oh god- now she was bonding for her hopeful chances of getting a call for an audition.

Compelling a sweet smile, you feel the only possible response you could give them was a meaningless 'thank you so much' after she literally put you on blast to communicate more. The funniest part about this situation was- you already watched the film!

Clearly you never met these writers- but instead the director himself! Your manager should be satisfied enough with that.

"Would you look at the time,-" Greg- you believe, softly gasps while raising his arm to examine the tiny apple watch planted. "Guests are probably filling up in their seats by now, terribly sorry- but we should probably go."

"I hadn't realized how close we were to showtime- we certainly must continue off our conversation after the film is over!" Shawn proclaims, making your manager nod far too quickly. "I look forward to meeting again."

With that, the two men inclined their motions of farewells before taking off down a dimmed hall, likely finding the exact destination set to premiere their comedic film.

Sighing, you send daggers to your managers who barely blinks before coughing out a swift, "What?"

"You really couldn't wait till after the film was over to sweet talk them?"

Dramatically rolling her eyes at your annoyance, she waves you off by your sudden introversion. It was her job to throw her best compliments about you too them, and she knew you were still too young to understand that everything she did was for a cost.

You.

"C'mon grumpy, let's locate the theatre before you start whining that your feet hurt, too."

Feeling your mouth slightly drop from her remark, you hear your assistant cackle right beside you, using her right palm to hold in her giggles while you mentally prepared for what comeback to throw her way.

You got nothing.

Huffing, your legs followed hers as she guided the two of you towards the same hall the men approached minutes before. The closer you've walked, the larger the capacity gathered around.

For such a low-budget film, it sure did gain quite the crowd.

As the rolling of the ending credits flooded the screen once you sat the last two and a half hours trying to act as if you didn't know what was coming next, you wish you had it in you to say the second time made up for the first- but it didn't.

There we have it, tonight was just not your night and endlessly enough- you couldn't blame it on some silly excuse of watching the same film over again.

Not even your assistant's sneaky offerings of her red licorice lifted your blues- and that speaks enough volume to say the least.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" the whole-heartedly voice of your manager's voice filled your ears as the three of you sat in the same lobby as before, still not finding a way to escape a cold room.

Oh how you abominated the sharp hits of the air conditioning- it frankly made coming to the theaters a horror unless layers of clothing and a blanket was tagged along.

"Why can't we leave? The film is done and people are walking out."

"We still have to talk to Shawn and Greg!" your manager declared, presenting a look of pure determination to get her way with their levels of skill.

Groaning, you throw your head in absolute exhaustion. Fairly, if your manager hadn't had made such an early visit during the morning hours you're sure you would've been in a better mood.

It was like the more you interacted, the less energy you had to give.

In order to survive the next few hours, you needed your phone or who knows how your fake laughters will sound.

And you call yourself an actress.

Sliding your hand to the back of your pockets, you wait for the feel of your large iphone to surface- but that moment never comes. Swiftly, you check your leather jacket ones just in case you slipped it there without realizing.

You didn't.

Anxiously glancing towards your assistant, your trembling hands find her arm. "Have you seen my phone? It's not on me."

Examining your hands before meeting your eyes, she shrugs it off. "Relax, no need to have a nervous breakdown- I'm sure you left it in the car with your bag-"

"No, I had it on me during the previews."

"We did go to the bathroom, too- why not just go check those two places?" she suggests. Concerned filled you, hoping nobody was capable of actually stealing your phone- it would be such a hassle getting another one. "I'll check the bathroom, you check our seats."

Agreeing, the two of you sneakily escape your manager when her back was turned, unpleasantly speed walking down the familiar hall before parting ways to your needed locations.

Opening the thick, black doors and striding up the long runway, your eyes are met with the same darkened seating area you were in less than twenty minutes ago.

Then and there, you use this desertion in power- running towards the middle rows consider 'vip' and begin your inspection. Fuck, you wish your had some form of light to help- you couldn't see shit.

Sliding your fingers among the seat, you lift up the cushions in hopes it mysteriously pops up, but all you find is pieces of popcorn and gum glued down.

Gross.

Feeling your eyes begin to water, you were sure you were seconds away from crying like a little kid over the loss of your beloved possession before you heard a deep voice call out for your attention.

"Is this yours? I heard it ringing when I came back in and- uh," the person froze, not having the ability to finish off their sentence as you gradually lifted your body off the floor into their view.

Hopelessly praying the stranger was regarding your phone, your eyes search for their hands first and there it was- your phone!

The corners of your mouth lift up, as well as the creases around your eyes as you internally cheer for your discovery. However, it faltered once you noticed a familiar tattoo laying on one of their palms. Moving your eyes up, you're sure your smile completely disappears once you recognize those brown eyes.

How did you not catch onto his voice from down there?

"Uh- yeah- that's mine," you nervously reply, choking on your words that probably made you sound like you were about to lose consciousness by how strung you were, and hesitantly reach out for the device.

Pedro quietly lets you grab it, not saying one word as your hands collide for a split second before the object was back in your own. You didn't miss the name that appeared on the lit up screen when touched- your assistant must have tried calling you to see if the phone would ring in the bathroom.

Smart.

Avoiding awkward farewells, Pedro swiftly turns around and makes his way down the theatre stairs, not daring to continue on with the barely existing conversation you shared. He's leaving, that fast?

Thinking about all your past interactions, he would always try to chat with you- even when you did give him the coldest shoulder of all time- because that's who he was: kind.

But now he's...walking away?

"Hey- uhm," you begin, following clumsily after him, almost tripping on one of the steps as he reaches his final steps and doubtfully turns your way. Once you stood another step ahead of him, you feel that swirling feeling in your stomach again.

You were nervous- you've never felt this way around him during your breakup- never.

Adjusting your arms inside your jacket, a small smile is extracted out of you as you watch his stay flat. He did not look interested one bit and it frightened you to death. "Thanks for finding my phone- I-I was really scared there for a minute."

Not reacting to your little laugh at the end, he replied- dull. "I didn't know it was yours, I would have given it to guest services if so."

Ouch, you're sure you're hurt expression was recognizable on the outside as much as it pained you on the inside. He really did not want to talk to you, even when you're showing your appreciation.

He really was over you.

"I know," you squeak out, not missing the way his eyes tiredly scanned your own as his body stood there stiff as ever. "I just wanted to thank you, that's all- you saved me a lot of trouble."

Coldly laughing from that, he nods. "I'm sure I have."

Your body tingled with rage as he carelessly ignored your warmth and threw jabs in return. "What's with the attitude? I'm doing nothing wrong here- I'm trying to be friendly."

Inching up, his face presents a sullen one and you immediately feel intimated by the height he owned and used as his advantage. Just the first few seconds before he spoke alone made you feel his displeasure. "And what about all those times I was friendly? I received shit so forgive me for allowing you to experience the same treatment you give others."

Loss for words, you were speechless and didn't know what to say back. For one, you were alarmed by his hard demeanor he gifted to you. Second, humiliation soared throughout as he called out your imperfections.

In other words, he wanted you to know you were a bitch.

"And I take that back but-"

Pedro was about to burst out laughing in front of your face, but he held himself together in sake of your feelings. Can you believe that, despite the misery he still cared for your state of mind. "Taking back isn't apologizing."

Sneering, you cross your arms as his eyebrows furrowed in irritation. "Apologize for what? You were the one who fucked my life over."

Scoffing, he shakes his head in vexation by your lack of empathy- as always. "Countless of times we would contemplate our faults and how we could move on and now you're discounting your wrongdoings- typical."

Pedro did not want to have another unpleasant argument with you, especially in a public setting again, and decided it was best to just walk away. If he kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't make this altercation worse.

Meeting his broad back, you lightly gasp as he ignores you altogether and makes his leave far too early for your liking. Charging towards him, you feel his back solidify once your fingers yank him to a halt.

You were not done with this conversation, but you did know once you got home you were definitely going to regret how toxic you were radiating in the room.

"Typical? What do you mean by that?"

"Knock it off and let me walk away, y/n," Pedro warns, still facing his back towards you after blocking your attempts of moving him. "We both know how badly this will end."

You know, but for some reason you don't want him to leave. Was that so bad?

"No, I wanna hear exactly what you have to say about me- maybe it'll make me recognize the ignorant ego I have."

"You're talking out in anger, you're trying to cause a fire that I won't let you ignite," he simply replies, his eyes still not found by his hidden appearance.

Very poetic.

Scowling profoundly, you don't realize what you're doing until you're finally met with his provoked display after. Stalking around his body, you stand in front of him and jab a finger towards his chest. "You're preventing me from bettering myself, isn't that what you always wanted?"

Leaning down until his face with inches away from yours, you make out his hard features clearly now. His face expressed discomfort as his eyes creased while lifting- even his lips stayed hard as a rock. "I'm going to tell you one more time, let me go."

Ignoring his cold shoulder, he inhaled a sharp breath before taking matters into his own hands. You don't want to listen? Fine. But he wasn't going to let you drag him into this any further.

Right as you push another finger up against him, your wrist was taken and roughly pushed down by your side as Pedro's body practically belted against yours. "Get off me!"

"Not until you stop fucking around," he grunted, immediately widening his eyes in realization. He knows you don't like when he casually curses directly to you- even when he doesn't harm. "Sorry- I-I meant when you stop playing around."

Praying that a smile doesn't escape you, it made you feel some type of way capturing his manners and how even though you two were on rocky terms- he still had some respect for you.

"Why are we even fighting right now?" you sigh, slowly softening your muscles in forfeit.

"You tell me- it sounds like you want my attention," he casually replied, releasing your hands and stepping back an inch. "Considering you won't let me leave."

"I'm just trying to have a normal, polite conversation! Is that so wrong?"

Softly laughing, he shakes his head in disappointment. "You don't get it."

Scrunching your face, you become lost by his words. "Get what?"

Scanning the wall before meeting your eyes again, Pedro motions his hands between the two of you. "What do you think will come out of us having a conversation? Acquaintances? Maybe a friendship?"

Thinking about it for a second, you feel your head eventually nod as he squeezes his eyes shut in return. Was that not what he's been trying to do- end in good terms? "It's what's healthy for us."

"Us?!" Pedro groans, sending you a tired gaze that had you weak to the knees. "There is no 'us' anymore. You made that perfectly clear after causing a scene last month in front of your friends."

"I didn't plan on that happening a-"

"I'm even letting go the bigger scene you caused inside the after party- isn't that enough to understand why I feel this way?" he adds on, frustrated that you would think otherwise.

You were the one who caused the attention and brought a bad look on his name. He should be shouting at you like you would have done to him if the roles were reversed.

"I'm not saying we should get back together, all I want-"

"-is a friendship? Some sort of relation that won't make us strangers?" he interjects, causing you to stay silent. That was all he needed to understand what you really wanted: not to let him go. "Look, we had our history, but I don't think it's good we keep in contact anymore."

You swear you felt all air leave your body as your face felt cold. Was he breaking up with you- in life itself?

"I-uhm don't- I don't understand," you cough, scared to make a bigger fool out of yourself. You're sure you probably look like a ghost by how much color you've lost since his recent reveal and again- you were grateful this room was dim. "Why can't we at least be friends? Not even that- why can't we at least know we have each other in our lives? Why end up as strangers?"

"What do you mean? We hadn't talked to each other in almost a year till last month! We basically are strangers," he exclaimed, causing you to look down at your feet as your heart ached.

He wasn't wrong- you just hadn't realized he's been right. And to blame was you, not him. You pushed him away in the first place, he was only kind enough to oblige.

And it was surely pathetic how now you wanted him back in your life, even if it meant not even talking just to assure yourself he still had your back.

He didn't.

"Y/n..." he sadly muttered, trying his best not to hurt your feelings as you were still continued to stay downwards- not wanting to disclose more hurt. "You didn't even say happy birthday to me, how can you be considered a friend? Friends don't do that, not to me at least."

This caused you to glance back up to him, disagreeing immediately as to what he was trying to get at. Of course you knew it was his birthday, you celebrated two with him in the past! "I didn't want to make things weird-"

"You never do but still avoid me like the plague and breakdown whenever I'm too close to your liking. I'm sorry for trying to do what's best and leave us in the past,-" he explains, closing his eyes in discomfort, "-but I can't keep letting this go on. I'm too old to be going back and forth as if this is some high school relationship- it's not."

High school relationship- you never knew simple three words could have you shrinking in guilt.

"And I know things will be easier for you when the time comes- I won't be around to nag you," Pedro tries to lighten up the mood but you can't break the line upon your lips. You were emotionless and it made Pedro upset.

Why would he be upset? You finally deserved learning your lesson after treating him as if he was nothing to you. But despite all your flaws, he still cared for you.

He cares so much that he's willing to let you go so you can do better things in life- without him.

Trying to find the right words to say, you give up. There isn't much to discuss now that he wants nothing to do with you.

You fucked up- for real this time.

In fact, you shouldn't even be hurt- you wanted this. Or at least that's what you thought before last month when he wasn't on your mind 24/7.

Maybe it was the way he begged for your forgiveness after not seeing each other for so long that made you realize how badly you adored him nearby.

Maybe it was the attention he was giving you after you continuously rejected his pleads, furthering the argument until he stormed off in the end.

And maybe you should've took his concluding estrangement announcement seriously before he left you last month.

But just like they say, you never know what you have until it's gone.

"I see," you quietly respond, slowly nodding as a faint grin forms among Pedro's lips, appreciating your cooperation over this mess. "Maybe it is best if we stray away from each other- you can even delete my number."

"I already have," he accidentally blurts out, not realizing how bad that sounds until he hears it himself and cringes. Your sufferable reaction didn't make things better.

"You know what," you fake a laugh, trying to calm your voice as you feel it about to crack any second. The tears were heading your way- you just knew it. "Fuck you."

Pedro's face falls, taken back by your inappropriate language. "Excuse me?"

Noticing your rushed attitude, he wanted to stop you and tell you everything was alright. That everything was going to be easy and how the two of you would get passed this.

But he knew he'd be lying.

"You heard me, fuck you," you casually slip out, scoffing as his eyes darken. "For someone who's so kind to others, I would have thought you would know what words were right to say."

"You're one to talk, sweetheart," he chuckled, staring at you in repulse. "Every time you talk you always have to neglect someone else, I'm fucking glad I don't have to witness that ever again."

"Me too, my family was right- you are a joke who wasted my time."

With that, you make your leave to have the chance of having the last word. Maybe if you left this room faster he would forget about your comment. You knew it was harsh but you didn't know what else to say.

You wanted him to hurt- but to what extent?

Your arm was instantly tugged as Pedro pulled you back, not letting his grip go as his face was still filled with resentment. "And your team was right, you are a bitch."

Freezing, you stare at him in shock as his face doesn't fall once. What the hell is he talking about? "Get away from me or else-"

"Or else what? Weren't you the one physically blocking me from leaving minutes ago? What has changed?" he tries to smirk, manipulating you into believing how ruthless he could be when really he was dying to tell you the act he was pulling. "Cat got your tongue?"

Your face felt hot with rage as you yanked your arm off his hand, catching him by surprise as you glared at him. "I'm so glad I never took you back, you're fucking pathetic."

"And I'm insanely glad you didn’t, saved thousands returning that fucking ring."

Those twelve words made you halt and even made Pedro speechless. By the staggered look planted on his face, you could tell he didn't mean to say that.

Ring? As in, an engagement ring?

Weakly failing to stand straight, you felt your voice crack. "You were going to propose?"

Shaking his head, he swiftly backed away. "I need to go." Before you could stop him, he was already out of the theatre and probably near larger gatherings of people that would only prevent you from talking about this more.

Holding your face with your hands, you couldn't even cry. You didn't know what to do, you were utterly lost for words.

If he was really going to propose like he hinted at, what meaning did your last fight have? Nothing made sense and you don't know how you could move on from this now that he wanted you out of his life completely.

Hearing doors open, you instantly averted your gaze in hopes he had come back in and planned to properly finish what he started.

Instead, you manager came barging in while gripping onto your assistant's wrist harshly.

"Where the hell have you been?! I've been looking for you everywhere and to find out your stupid assistant-"

"Don't you dare disrespect her," you sternly cut her off, watching as her face falters by your sudden tone. "If you're here to pester us some more, feel free to walk home."

Laughing in shock, your manager tilts her head at your rudeness. "Excuse me? It wasn't my fault your assistant wondered off. After everything I have done to protect you and your career you feel the need to throw me out-"

"Did she hurt you?" you cut her off, focusing on your assistant who has gone quiet. You notice the redness on her small wrists before she slowly nods, looking down in fear your manager would try something else.

"You're fired," you simply state, pushing past your frantic ex- manager as you lightly guide your assistant out the door.

You ignore the rage your ex- manager unveils as you make it back to the lobby. Ignoring the waves random people sent your way in hopes of finding your destined car sooner so you could help your assistant with her injuries and be home already.

And in bed to think about what the fuck just happened tonight.

+

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[watermelonlovershigh]

"I Just Felt Like Cryin"

AN: this randomly came to me in one of my dreams and i had to write it out. i love this concept even though it breaks my heart a little bit. i hope you enjoy and your feedback is welcome!!!!!

This story contains: just crying and comfort

{ dadrry - husband!harry - softrry - have three kids but they aren't in really in story }

word count- 1,061

Harry comes home from the studio and just feels like crying for whatever reason.

As soon as Harry came home from the studio you could tell something was wrong. He wasn't as cheerful as he usually was and he seemed lost in his train of thought. But knowing Harry, he tried to hide his emotions well and act as if nothing was wrong. Especially in front of your three kids. He didn't want his kids to see him have a breakdown. He only wanted them to see their father in a happy state.

The problem tonight was that even Harry didn't know what was wrong with himself. He wasn't necessarily sad and he wasn't mad. So maybe it's a combination of stress and built up emotions but he just felt on the verge of crying all evening. There was this burning behind his eyes that you get when you're trying not to cry and Harry can't seem to get rid of it.

--------------------------------

After going through the routine of giving your kids their baths and tucking them into bed, it was time to go to bed yourselves. This part in your night routines can vary depending on your moods. If you were feeling needy, then it would consist of making love under the duvet. If you wanted to relax more, it could consist of sharing a bath or shower together. If you were tired, it would consist of just cuddling and going to sleep. Tonight you didn't know what to expect but you knew sex was off the table.

You came into your bedroom to brush your teeth and then begun putting your creams and lotions on your skin as you sat on the edge of the bed. Harry told you he'd be back in a moment, that he was going to get himself a glass of water from the kitchen. You were nervous because you didn't want there to be anything seriously going on with him. You hated to see your husband so down.

The whole journey to the kitchen Harry was fighting tears. Then on the way back up to your shared bedroom he was fighting tears. He didn't want to cry tonight. Not that he was embarrassed to cry in front of you. No, you've been married for so long that he's completely okay with being vulnerable around you. He just didn't want to make you sad because he knows when you see him cry you get sad.

But as soon as Harry stepped foot in the bedroom and shut the door behind himself, he took one glance at you, the person he loves most, and his bottom lip started quivering and his shoulders started shaking as a sob left his body. You stood up quickly and walked across the room, first grabbing the glass of water out of his shaky hands. Then asking, "Baby, what's wrong? Hey, it's okay."

Harry just wraps his arms around you and sobs into your shoulder. You haven't seen him cry this hard since the death of his step father and it's really worrying you. "I....." Harry tries to speak, "I donno."

"Are you sad or feeling sick?" you gently question.

"No, I, I just felt like cryin'. M'sorry. I'm a big baby." he mutters as you lead him over to the bed. Now you understand a bit more. Harry has been stressed lately and you have a feeling his emotions just got backed up so much that now they are all flowing out of him. Typically Harry is the type of person that will ignore his emotions until they come spewing out of him. For some it's with anger that includes yelling and being violent. For Harry, he's not an angry or violent person so his emotions are tears.

You help Harry sit on the edge of the bed while continuing to hug him to your chest. His cries are slowing down but are still somewhat there. "Shhh," you whisper while leaning back to lay down under the covers and stroke the back of his scalp, "It's okay. You can cry if you feel like it. I'll be here the entire time and hold you, okay." Just wanting your husband to know its okay to cry it out.

Harry nods his head where it's placed over your heartbeat, his favorite place to be. He loves laying his head over your heartbeat during sex to feel how fast he's got it beating for him. But he also just loves to feel it to comfort him when he's trying to sleep or is upset about something.

After a few more minutes, Harry coos in a hoarse voice, "Thank you. Thank you for always knowing how to comfort me and thank you for loving me." His words nearly bring you to tears.

"Harry, babe, you're so easy to love. You have the biggest heart and everyone can't help but to show you love. I love you so much." you tell him truthfully. You do love Harry with every fiber in your body. You wouldn't have married him if you didn't. You wouldn't have let him get you pregnant three times and had his beautiful babies if you didn't love this heavy man laying across your chest right now.

Harry lifts his head off your chest and leans forward, going in for a kiss, but you stop him. He gets a sad look of rejection on his face but you reach over to your nightstand and grab a tissue. "You have snot running out your nose, babe. Here, let me help you wipe it up." You gently cradle the side of his face and help him wipe his snotty nose. It doesn't gross you out at all because you do have kids that have desensitizes you to this kind of stuff. "There we go. Now you can kiss me."

With the first smile you've seen on his face all night, Harry leans in again and places the most softest kiss on your lips. It only lasted a second but that second means everything to you. After the kiss, Harry whispers, "I love you." He leans back down to snuggle into your covered chest. You grab the edge of the duvet and help drape it over his back to keep the both of you warm. Then once you reach to turn the lamp off and the bedroom is filled with darkness, you began to fall asleep with Harry in your arms.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

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______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

[velarisnightsky444]

Spoiled Little Princess

Azriel x Reader

This is an excerpt from Stargirl. Stargirl is originally Rhys's sister x Azriel in first person pov, but I changed it to second person for this post.

cw: just angst and a harsh reality check for reader

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

It had been over a year and a half since you and the boys had built the tree house. But only Azriel and you still used it.

It was a late night, your favorite time to be up there. You had chosen the highest tree, so you could see the stars out of the windows.

Azriel passed the bottle of wine you were sharing, and you sipped at it, though you were already a bit drunk.

"I hate my life," you admitted. He let out an irritated scoff. "How could you possibly hate your life?" he demanded. "You have everything." "Then why doesn't it feel like enough?" you wondered.

"Because you're a spoiled princess," he spat. Your eyes snapped to his. "I'm not a--" "You throw a tantrum when you don't get your way. You've had everything handed to you," he pointed out. "I have not," you pouted. "The worst thing that has happened to you is that you have to live in these mountains," he went on. "And your days here consist of eating breakfast, doing your lessons, having lunch, ice skating, and then eating dinner. You grew up in a castle--" "It's not a castle," you argued. "It's huge," he retorted. "You've never gone a day without three meals. You've never had a night where you weren't comfortable in a bed. Your mother loves you more than anything--" "Okay, I get it," you seethed. "I don't have a right to be dissatisfied with my life." "You have no idea how easy you have it," he realized with a scoff. "It's insane to me. You have never suffered." "Isn't that a good thing?" you snapped. "It's an incredible thing," he replied. "I'm happy that you didn't have the upbringings Cassian and I did. It's just irritating to hear you complain." "Just because I wasn't locked away in a cell for eleven years doesn't mean I can't be upset," you glared. "The other girls here hate me because I didn't have my wings clipped." "Would you rather that they did clip your wings?" he demanded. "Would you rather the life my mother had?" "Of course not," you denied, shaking your head. "But it isn't my fault they weren't clipped. So why are the girls so mean?" "Because their lives have been terrible," he snapped. "You don't realize how the other females are treated here. They don't have high status parents to shield them from abuse." "So they're jealous," you shrugged. "Of course they are," he said. "They've been tortured their entire lives, and you're this privileged little princess--" "But I don't deserve the way they treat me," you insisted, tears stinging your eyes. "I never said that," he said softly. "I just mean--"

"I don't care what you mean," you grumbled, pulling your knees to your chest.

One of his shadows came over to you and stroked your cheek, as though attempting an apology for Azriel's harsh words.

But he was right. You didn't know what it was like to truly suffer. You'd spent your life in comfortable bliss, throwing a tantrum at the slightest of inconveniences.

You just took a long sip of the wine, refusing to pass it back to Azriel.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Azriel Taglist: @serxndipity-ipity-blog

comment to be added to the Azriel Taglist!

[theokusgallery]

I wonder what's their relationship with their siblings. (referring to Nick and Sunny)

Also...Will there be Mari, Aubrey, Kel, and Hero?... I wonder if you're going to add them or not (hhshjsjs I'm getting a little bit *too* curious)

Interesting question ! I was literally continuing a WIP about Nick and Statice's (Nick's sister) realtionship as I saw this ask, lol. (No link with the picture above, I just drew that one for fun). I was also just talking about them extensively in Tosteur's server, sooooo...

Statice and Nick love each other very much. They grew up constantly around one another, and since their parents weren't always around, they always had to stick with each other and play with each other... They basically only had each other for most of their childhood. So they stick together.

Now, I can't remember if I've ever talked about it here, but Arsenic wasn't really liked by other people as a kid (and that hasn't really changed). He's weird, he's queer, he's mean (socially incompetent), etc etc. Statice, on the other hand, is a lot more normal than he is. They're identical twins, so they were in the same grade growing up, and when they made friends, it was usually together. But every friend they made always, consistently preferred Statice to Nick.

That's not to say Statice doesn't have her fair share of "weirdness", but when it came from her as opposed to Nick, kids around them didn't mind it as much. Like, sure, Nick was into boys, and that was weird and creepy and embarrassing to other kids, but... not only does Statice also like guys, she's trans. Weirdly enough, Nick was ostracised for being queer a lot more than Statice was.

Nick and Statice are very, very close. They spent 99% of their time together, growing up, shared a room, went to the same schools, in the same classes, they still go to the same university (though they don't study the same thing). They share a lot of things and know each other very well. But they have... unaddressed issues and built up resentment on Nick's part, and judgement on Statice's part. S o it's not exactly perfect.

I feel like it's important to note that Statice is the one and only person that Nick doesn't have an unhealthy power dynamic with. She's quite literally the only person that Nick is an okay guy around.

(She's also Sunny's best friend, so you can imagine how that goes when Sunny and Nick get together -- while Statice disapproves of it very much because she knows exactly how much of a creepy piece of shit Nick is :)...)

--Sunny and his sister Mari were also very close growing up. After growing up, though, they kind of drifted apart as Mari moved away for college and Sunny started seeing flaws in her that he... hadn't really wanted to see before, because he idealized her as a kid. They talk sometimes, and they still love each other, and they have an okay relationship, but they're not nearly as close as Nick and Statice are. Sunny kind of gets jealous of them for that sometimes.

I'm not actually sure if i want to add Kel or Hero or Aubrey to the story or not. There's a third friend in Sinny and Statice's friend group that's essential to the storyline, and I'm not opposed to making them Kel or Aubrey, but I haven't thought about them too much, so I don't know yet. Might make 'em an OC. I was hesitating on making Sunny's sibling an OC as well, but the characterization/role I was planning for them ended up being taken by Statice (who I actually care about and think about a lot), so I don't mind it being Mari. Hero is in the story by virtue of being Mari's boyfriend in every universe (/ref), but he has no role or purpose. Imagine he's standing in the background if you so wish

[kojo-is-adorable]

So about Melissa's Lucy room tour, her room is everything I dreamed and more. Firstly Kojo is on there which is awesome since we haven't seen him since season 4 and on the first photo we can also see some motivational posters which is so Lucy, as well as a document behind which says "legal and clinic" and then says about "system, and guide" and then says about endeavours this could be a document from the fertility clinic Lucy was talking about in A.H.S. further proof it could be the fertility clinic is that lower on the sheet it says "divorce?" which could be a section on what happens to the eggs in a divorce.

In the second photo I decide to screenshot Lucy's list of things to do and her note from tamara saying "you got this" which I though was adorable. Also you if you click on the photo you would be able to see some tiny writing below tamara's note which is I was only able to make tour the words "call ... in the afternoon... share" which is not much information but may be a reference to something to do with the episode their filming (7 or 8 I'm guessing).

In the third photo you can read the letter from the undercover academy easily. This shows lucy is still loves undercover work since it's up their with tim, tamara and kojo.

In photo number 4, the iconic copcake is right in the middle which I think is amazing because what girlfriend doesn't have her boyfriend naked on a poster with nothing but a cupcake lol. In the bottom right you can see the sign for pisces which means in the shows very consistent timeline it's nearly Lucy's birthday. Since recently it was valentines day in the show. Or we may have skipped past her birthday in the time skip.

In picture number 5 it has all my favourite things, Tim's I love you note, a thank you note , and a necklace. So obviously we have all heard something about Tim's I love you note. Personally I think it's adorable, like if he had to leave really early or they were on different shifts just leaving notes is the cutest. Thank you note, if i'm correct, says "thank you, for taking such good care of my mom you are an angel, ..." i think the name is cut off which leaves many possibilities on who it is from. Due to the paper an handwriting it looks like stereotypically like a girls so I'm guessing Angela, Nyla or Celina. Now regarding the necklace they might be like things Lucy thought looked cute and put on for aesthetic or she put it on to try and clue Tim in for buying her. The same goes for the dresses that are seen in the video.

One thing that isn't in the video, Lucy got a new bed now she had that bed for a while but did you guys seen how wobbly it was she was well overdue for a new one and I'm guessing Tim is one of the reasons she got a new one.

[writer-room]

Since people really liked This post I made of my silly little ideas on how Peacemaker still has these little hints of Darkstalker in him, I decided, yeah, I'll throw out my other, more specific ones! Why not. I'm free

Peacemaker's a VERY charming little lad! At first to everyone else this was really cute, why, they just wanna gobble him up! He's such a big dork who always knows just the right things to say, it's probably why most dragonets get along with him so well! His mother isn't so thrilled, though. Her son is quite charming, isn't he? A little too purposeful with his words. A well-placed compliment, seemingly giving up on a subject he's now implanted into someones head, a casual comment that sounded too detailed to be thought of on the spot. He's never malicious (or, at least, nothing more than annoying when dealing with rather rude dragons), but it makes Hope paranoid to know that, well, they never truly erased Darkstalker's personality. That little dragon is still in there. And that boy could talk the very queen off her throne if he was just given enough time. He's not a big, stupid brute. He never was. And he knows it.

He's far from guilt-free. In fact he's usually the kid encouraging troublesome behavior. When he's little it's usually nothing more than stealing some extra strawberries or rallying a few RainWing dragonets to melt a wall so they could listen in on adult conversations Moon seemed to have a lot. But it gets a little concerning as he ages. Pushing dragons to use their abilities for whatever they wanted, because it was their powers, they should use it as they deem fit! He didn't get why older dragons scolded him when the new NightWings born under the moons kept reading everyones private thoughts or RainWings would sneak away for long periods of time who-knows-where after they got good at camouflage. He wasn't bothered by it, why should everyone else? It's not like it would turn them evil or anything.

He's very good with younger dragonets! When he was little it got him a lot of friends, and a way for the younger generations of RainWings and NightWings to connect, literally and metaphorically through their shared hybrid! When he was a little older, it made him a popular village babysitter, especially since he was really good with dragonets that had different or specific needs. He was particularly encouraging of the new NightWing dragonets being born with powers due to being under the moons again. Parents were relieved he wasn't weirded out or jealous, just quietly listening to them talk and offering advice they found oddly very helpful, even more than Moon's.

On that note, he was so excited when the SilkWings showed up! Sure, the new dragons were really weird, and he'd never seen ones without wings, but that was okay! Flying wasn't really needed in the rainforest, anyway, maybe they'd be even better! He was one of the first dragonets to openly walk up to the new kids, and he asked a lot of questions, but he was generally quite curious and super proud to boast about his home, friends, and, of course, himself. Eventually he got along with little LeafWings and HiveWings as well, particularly Bumblebee, although...he was rather twitchy when he heard about the HiveWings ancestor Clearsight, how she loved an old version of them, creating the tribe that is today. Odd.

The only thing dragons will consistently say is unnerving about him, aside from how many find him intimidating on size and shape from a distance, is his eyes. Nothing inherently odd about them, they just look like dark, silvery NightWing eyes. But everyone always swears theres something off about them. Like they were placed in the wrong head. Uncanny. Eyes, they say, that feel like they belonged on someone much older, and far sadder. Everyone in the rainforest says that, at least. If you asked that IceWing by the mountain Peacemaker and his friends picked berries from, she'd swear his eyes weren't sad. They were enraged. Compared only to the soldiers she fought in the War of the SandWing Succession, compacted together on the face of a young, smiling dragonet.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Man. How did I forget that an entire subplot of Dazai's main story was just. Trying to trap him into having a single conversation with MC like a normal person I'm so akhdjgfkljshgskjd

I just love watching her, Arthur, and Isaac deadass plot with glee to get one over on Dazai it's killing me, this is some Hamlet level shit (no Charles do not stand behind the curtain to kill Dazai coming in the window!!! yamero!!!!!)

Also because I felt personally attacked (/j) when Isaac said this:

I love you Isaac but pls have mercy on creatives we only have one brain cell and we're trying s o hard oTL

Although, and I'll leave it under the cut since I'm back on my Comte-posting, but the way Comte talks about Dazai fascinates me. Also just as fair warning, I do broach a lot of the topics that come up in Dazai rt so trigger warnings for self-harm, suicide, CPTSD and PTSD, trauma, etc. I don't go too too in-depth, but they are there.

Comte: "Dazai is quite skilled at concealing what he's really feeling, even from himself, perhaps."

The way he instantly remarks on how Dazai is not only working to conceal what he feels from others, but also from himself. Tbh I think that's enormously perceptive, because at first glance most people tend to think Dazai is lazy, troublesome, flippant, or erratic (and sometimes, a combination of all of these).

I love that he sees to the core of who Dazai is and what he's feeling; fear. Dazai is afraid of hurting someone again, but I also think on some level he's made it an ontological problem; he's afraid of himself. He thinks his very existence is a negative entity, something that exists only to hurt and/or estrange other people, something wrong/different. I'd argue that's why he's so adamant about mood-making and keeping to himself. If you never express how you truly feel or live true to yourself, on some level you can't entirely reach others. Because fundamentally, being close to other people does require some level of lowered defenses and sharing. Ergo, never dwell too long or give too much of yourself away, never make a mark on anyone--good or bad.

As a side note, Theo calls him "a half-strewn dandelion puff" and I agree that's rather blunt, but on some level Theo operates on a level of utility. His entire operating precept is that life and work must serve a discrete purpose. And Dazai, in choosing to opt out of living with meaning/intent out of fear, makes this description entirely consistent with Theo's perspective of the world. Though his phrasing is harsh and perhaps one-dimensional, I do find it interesting that he comes to a similar conclusion as Comte as to what Dazai is doing.

Comte talks about it with such clarity and calm, he really does feel so parental in this moment. He's not necessarily minimizing the reality of how Dazai is experiencing the world, but he also clearly doesn't agree with Dazai's self-perception. Perhaps most striking to me is how Comte seems to understand that the only threat Dazai poses is to himself...Sometimes it feels like, in the case of conditions like mental illness/depression/etc. people are so eager to assume ill will of a person. This is only exponentially compounded if they prove to have striking intelligence and strategic capacity, the same way Dazai does. I guess I can't help but appreciate that Comte knows the difference between strong and scared, and even how the lines between the two can and often do blur (perhaps best exemplified in his relationships with Jeanne and Dazai).

(Side note: I forgot which event it was but, one time when Dazai was homesick for cherry blossom watching, Comte had the entire house filled with flowers to cheer him up [insert ugly sobbing]).

For someone so enigmatic, evasive, and distant, Comte still notices instantly that Dazai is much, much happier with MC. I suppose it makes me wonder if Comte knew all along that Dazai's real wish was to be accepted and loved as he was, but kept quiet out of respect for his privacy. I would offer too that sometimes people need to realize these things on their own for the information to have value.

But what really gets my ass is what Comte says right after:

This is my bread and butter (so is he but that's not the point of this particular TED talk). In the last few years I've done a lot of exploratory work on how trauma is mapped both internally but also visibly on the body. What I think is engaging here is that, while it could be read on a surface level as "body language gives people's true intentions away" I don't think that's quite what he's getting at. Or perhaps better phrased, it's an oversimplification. I don't think it's that body language can't communicate real and important information about people's lives. Rather, that people associate rigid and absolutist interpretations to singular mannerisms, which does a disservice to both parties. Nobody can know a person at a glance; to say that you do reduces the lived reality of the opposite party.

Comte gives simple examples and couches his words for the context of the moment, but I think that first line is incredibly telling. "But the body is remarkably truthful." It makes me think of how, in moments where Comte is overcome with anxiety as a result of traumatic recurrence, he has acute panic attacks (i.e. shortened breath, racing heart, trembling). How Leonardo's lethargy (i.e. napping on the floor everywhere like the hobo he is) belies the reality of his very real exhaustion, the emotional turmoil that comes with a fraught immortal life.

Dazai's endless struggle with dissociation and self-harm, the way he stood in the rain unmoving at the thought of MC returning home to the modern era. Whether to numb himself from the pain of that grief/loneliness, or perhaps more likely the self-immolation of subjecting himself to the re-enactment of the most harrowing moment of his life. To relive that anguish as a reminder; to abstain from making the same mistake ever again. Jeanne's endless bodily tension, struggles with basic self-care (appears to be interoception-based; reduced signalling of the need to eat/rest/etc.), and self-isolation to cope in a world where only the strong survive. Never safe, always alone, always defensive.

I think, for many people in general but especially people who have been through intense PTSD/CPTSD/etc., it can be hard to express these feelings directly. Whether they are forcibly silenced, ridiculed into self-derision/self-concealment, or are overwhelmed by emotions that are difficult to process--each manifests itself in unconventional ways. It means a lot to me when those phenomena are portrayed so sensitively in written works/media, that they're explored with real intention and narrative subtlety to communicate how hard it is for people who are wounded or simply different (or both, as often is the case).

Addendum:

Even more than that, and this is an observation at the end of Dazai's route, is Comte's open belief that life is something to be cherished. Of course, like any other person he has behaviors he won't abide and people he doesn't feel partial to, but by and large he doesn't take life lightly. Perhaps that's why he doesn't expect Dazai to resort to such measures again, in conjunction with the circumstances of his transition. From an outsider perspective, I could see how Comte might assume Dazai no longer wishes for that if he seemed to regret his initial course of action by seeking resurrection. There is also the implication that Dazai is always at war with himself, and therefore might give contradictory impressions; one moment he wants to live, the next he doesn't. This is precisely what led him to ask Charles for help to subdue his own 'cowardice.' (His terms, not mine. [bonks him]) There is a sizeable subset of s-word survivors who, after recovery, feel that their problems were actually solvable despite their despair in the moment.

Of course, that doesn't apply to everyone, but I think there's something to be said of Comte feeling such real affection for the mansion boys that he is stricken to find out what Dazai attempted. And perhaps unsurprisingly, very adamant to keep him from ever pursuing such a course of action again. He's incredibly vulnerable about his horror that he might have inflicted something on Dazai that he never wanted in bringing him back, though Dazai comfortably refutes any lack of agency in the situation.

I guess I feel very compelled by the duality inherent in Comte's glass heart, precisely because of how realistic it feels. His greatest strength is his sensitivity, but it's also his greatest weakness in tandem. His genuine care for Dazai--the unwavering belief that his life is valuable and worthy--ends up being the reason he doesn't anticipate Dazai's rather deeply entrenched self-loathing. And to be honest, I'm a bit inclined to agree; looking back on a third reading Dazai feels way too hard on himself. It feels like the young girl's death was more a catalyst for what Dazai was already feeling, than anything. Dazai wanted so badly to have a reason to despise himself (as he already disliked how different and out of place he naturally felt) and with this, his self-reproach could have a viable, rational explanation. A locus outside of his body by which to rationalize his self-hatred. Accident or not becomes irrelevant; he was involved, and thus he is guilty.

He reminds me a lot of that post that was circulating once about how cultish behavior inculcates intelligent people with more devastating pull than one might expect, because intelligent people can more easily and more insistently find ways to desperately rationalize their situation to function in that whirlpool of abuse. Dazai feels like he's in this same such Catch-22, so busy believing he deserves to be scorned (because of how well he hides his perceived abnormalities) that he takes steps to ensure and reinforce it. He wants and needs to see his reality make sense, and if it won't answer his designs he will find a way to make it so.

It fascinates me because Dazai is an incredibly complex example of someone who desires control, but instead of inflicting it with external rapacity, he targets his own internal state. I once heard a Buddhist explain: yes, it is a sign of disturbance to engage with others aggressively and without grace. However, it is also a sign of disturbance when the mind seeks to harm one's own body. Although Dazai's disturbance is not as apparent, it is there. And that's part of what makes him so excruciatingly compelling to me, in a lot of ways he is the manifestation of the Sisyphean suffering of being ill in a quiet way. In enduring and smiling and laughing because you don't want to burden others--or know you're not allowed to--all while you slowly bleed from the inside out.

[stormblessed95]

230328 Jimin Live Stream

Jimin is such a cutie and a precious soul. I'll mostly just focus on the jikook moments/comments though in this post rather than talk about everything/break things down. Not necessarily in order either, just me throwing down the major plot points in a post. Lol

Jimin started a live on his way home titled thank you. He mentioned that he noticed that JK did a live yesterday or technically the same day too since it went past midnight. Lol and that JK spent the live Watching all his videos. “I saw Jungkook-ie watched a lot of my videos yesterday hehe. Ah! a live 1h 40m long” he is so cute I swear. Lol knowing he watched JK Missing him like that 😭🥺

And then JK popped up in the comments and then proceeded to spam the chat the whole rest of the live. Lol it was ADORABLE. Here are good threads of just all his comments

The way JK asked jimin what he was thankful for and Jimins first confusion before remembering that he named his live "thank you." Lol but the way JK said it in very informal language and tone. You'd only ever speak to your hyung that way knowing it's okay and that he was okay with it. It's just consistent with them since always and speaks sooo clearly of how close they are.

The way ARMY threw JK under the bus so fast, sharing about his weverse photo change. It was only there for a minute! Lol

He can't NOT gush about them. It's so cute

Finally going to get to spend more time together after promotions are over 😭😭

No because he really said, when I'm less busy, I'm coming over asap and you will cook for me. Cook ramyeon for me. And JK just immediately gave us that "anything for you" attitude. I MELTED. I TELL YOU

The way he giggles and talks to JK while replying to his comments 😭 my heart!

Trans of the above with JKs comments added in too

It's the way he says it's been ESTABLISHED that im your fan. For me. Yes, we all know that Jungkook is Jimins BIGGEST fan and he has made it very clear. Especially with his little 100 minute live dedicated to said hyung right before this. Lmfao

And the satoori. Because it's them, talking to each other. You know they slip into that all the damn time together. And getting all informal.

And the way Jimin laughs and lightly scolds him for not sleeping when sleepy but instead dancing his choreo and being silly and JK just screams his name (informally) in the chat. Hyungs biggest fan indeed!

And the way that Jimin told us indirectly since it was really just him reassuring JK who was pouting about missing going to any of Jimins prerecorded shows with him that he had been to Jimins rehearsals so it was okay. And I'm just 😭 WE TOLD YALL that they were clearly Still spending some time together, as much as they could. And yet because they are so busy with solo promotions too, it's CLEARLY NOT ENOUGH TIME. They got too used to living in each other's pockets and still want that. Lol I love them.

And the way that Jimin all softly told us that it felt like he could hear JKs voice when reading his comments. IM GOING TO CRY. They love and miss each other SO FREAKING MUCH it's insane. These busy schedules are killer!

And ending with this person's added observations because HONESTLY YES. JK isn't the only one who indicates their closeness and intimacy with how he talks to and about Jimin.

The way K jkkrs were losing their shit yesterday. So many talk spaces titled "no, they are really dating for real" after these lives. Lmfao. Just... they way they talk to and about each other is so wonderful to get to witness every so often. I love them so much it hurts.

[spilledmilkfkdies]

So what are your personal thoughts on Yilidth (if you haven't already answered). I hadn't read the comics in a while but I don't think they ever said anything about him being related to Duman, though considering his eye and hair colour I guess it was probably implied. How do you think he created him? Like did he just use magic or did he had a one night stand and then years later, a basket with baby Duman just appeared with a letter telling him he's the dad, and he's like "Oh, f*#k".

I actually made an au where the wizards had joined Yilidth's wizard cult as novices and one task that he made them do was babysit Duman. Imagine the chaos😂

I think I have given my thoughts on him before, but that was both a while ago and I didn't appreciate him as much as I do now, which you can tell 💀💀 very angry very rambly stuff over there- So let me give some more/updated thoughts!!

Him being underused and shoehorned is still very true, unfortunately. He could've been a super handy tool to give us more information about the whole Terrestrial conflict, since that was an interesting part of canon that might have benefitted from a bit more exploration, even if it was a bit late. But then he just. Wasn't?? He was announced, he came, he died?????? And that was the first and last we saw of him. Honestly deranged boooo yucky.

He never even got to interact with the wizards again- You could literally say he was just some random criminal that had been locked away and almost nothing would change, and that's really his main problem. Aside from his design. I mean, love a blank canvas to throw a bunch of takes at, but come on!!!!!

Him and Duman's relation was never really mentioned either, I don't think? Beyond the "He was the leader of the fairy hunters!" there's really um. Nothing. Like in general. Ask canon Yllidith their names and he'll give you a blank stare fgbhbn- Tbh I'm surprised Duman's even in the lil flashback thingy at all ngl

Now, can we call any sort of relation implied? Are we gonna give them that much credit? Well idk! I'm just personally a fan of it so I just kinda. Squinted real hard. Matching eye colour? Mhm. Hair colour? Sure kinda. Yllidith having illusion magic and Duman being a shapeshifter? Yep that lines up enough for me, that does it, they're related now. Some people see the vision, others might not- I've spoken to plenty of people who aren't a fan of the take and that's a-okay, just know that I very much am 👉👈

This is a. Surprisingly consistent thing for me too?? Like yeah there's a case of "it depends on what I'm doing", there usually is- But not to a large extent ig? The method varies, but in a lot of stuff I'm doing now there's definitely a relation in one way or another.

Usually Duman is more or less made from scratch, a magic'd up baby, if you will. Though the process did include Yllidith's blood, so you have enough wiggle room to still say there's a blood relation. (Duman wouldn't.) (Yllidith only does when it's convenient.) But I've been getting the urge to explore a more normal approach where he was just regularly born lately, so maybe I'll get to that at some point too.

And!! If you ever feel like sharing more of that AU in any way, please do, because it sounds absolutely DELIGHTFUL. Imagine them thinking it's gonna be an easy enough task, and they wonder why nobody else wants to do it, then little Duman starts shapeshifting into horrors beyond mortal comprehension. Bye, I'm obsessed.

[msnihilist]

ahh pleaseee share that essay about bevin and gwevin with us 🥲we won't be bored we love those kind of things we would love to read it !

This is mostly just going to be me vomiting up various thoughts, but here we go.

Ben and Gwen, I think, represent Kevin's past and future, respectively. Through UAF, Ben is consistently the one who calls Kevin out on his bullshit — most notably in "In Charm's Way," when Ben and Kevin talk on the beach at the end of the episode...

KEVIN: Where's Gwen?

BEN: Went home. You hurt her pretty bad.

KEVIN: I hurt her? I'm the one who looks like this, and she hasn't done a thing about it.

BEN: You are a giant, rock-faced jerk!

KEVIN: Yeah, whatever.

BEN: Not "whatever." She's spending every spare moment going through every magic book she can find to try and help you. She's been doing it since the accident.

KEVIN: She... She never told me.

BEN: Should she have had to?

...and again when (past) Ben snaps at Ultimate Kevin in "The Forge of Creation."

ULTIMATE KEVIN: I deserve that power. I'm the one who gets turned into a monster. I'm the one nobody ever trusts or cares about!

GWEN: That's not true!

ULTIMATE KEVIN: Face it, Gwen... Whatever I look like, I'm a freak!

YOUNG BEN: You're a jerk. You've always been a jerk. People try to be nice to you, but you can't ever see it. You're too busy feeling sorry for yourself.

Ben is consistently the only character to hold Kevin accountable like this. (Granted, Kevin doesn't have a wide circle of friends, but still.) Gwen and Kevin don't fight much (when they do, Gwen usually leaves the situation), and she tends to be the softer voice, encouraging Kevin and reassuring him. ("You know I don't care what you look like," etc.)

Ben has been calling Kevin out since they were kids, since the day that they met — quickly clocking Kevin as a bad person and saying as much. He continues to do this through the OG, like in "Grudge Match."

MUTATED KEVIN: It's payback time, for turning me into a freak!

BEN (as Diamondhead): You were always a freak, Kevin. It's just now the ugly's also on the outside.

And, later...

MUTATED KEVIN: This is all your fault!

BEN: How can this be my fault?

MUTATED KEVIN: I don't know... It just is!

In this episode, Kevin blames Ben for them getting stuck in the ship. He blames Ben for his mutation. He attacks Ben for going against him even though Ben literally saved both of their lives not a minute before.

Kevin isn't in his right mind, sure, but he continues to display this trait in UAF: refusing to accept accountability.

Nothing is ever his fault — it's always someone else's. Kevin is emotionally immature and he struggles with self-hatred. He lashes out and blames others because if he didn't, he would have to look inside of himself and recognize that maybe something is wrong with him.

And that's a hard thing to do. It's hard for most adults, let alone a child who's struggling with powers he doesn't understand — powers that alter his mental state.

If Kevin is a boat being tossed around in a wild ocean, then Ben is like an anchor. He forces Kevin to look inward and to reflect on his behavior.

... Which is where Gwen comes in.

(Admittedly, I have less to analyze here, since Gwen and Kevin are rather straightforward, comparatively.)

Without Ben around, Gwen and Kevin's relationship would not work. Gwen is reactionary. She was as a child, and she still is as a teenager. Her first instinct when she and Kevin argue isn't to problem-solve, it's to get defensive. Their relationship wouldn't go anywhere with both of their attitudes like that.

Ben gets Gwen away to destress and take her mind off of Kevin. Ben is honest with Kevin in a way that Gwen can't (or won't) be.

He's not a third wheel. He's their counterweight. Their balance.

What does this have to do with past/future?

Well, Kevin spells it out in "Perplexahedron."

KEVIN: I like the Kevin that Gwen sees when she looks at me. And I like that you gave me another chance, even after I messed up all those other ones. I guess I'm saying I owe you guys for changing my life.

He refers to "the Kevin that Gwen sees" — someone he could be. And he thanks Ben for giving him another chance, referencing his past mistakes.

Ben helps Kevin look back and learn from his mistakes. Gwen gives Kevin something to look forward to, and a goal to strive towards.

Gwen and Kevin wouldn't work without Ben, but Ben and Kevin would be shaky without Gwen, too. Gwen is motivation. She's an incentive. She's the light at the end of the tunnel.

Without her, I think Kevin would have a hard time knowing what, exactly, he's trying to work towards. He would have a harder time opening up to Ben.

Ben is the medicine, and Gwen is the spoonful of sugar.

Kevin needs both of them to be the person he's always wanted to be. And they need him, too.

After all, 'Ben and Gwen' by themselves don't look nearly as cool <3

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 17: PIGS FLY

A belated happy birthday to Percy and anniversary to Percabeth. I would have liked to have finished this book by now, it was the original goal in mind, but work's been murder on me and I've been lucky to keep my updating consistent as is.

Almost done with one whole series though! Like, just take a moment and bask at how far this has come already, and still with tons to go! I'm so excited I feel like I could fly!

PJOPJOPJOPJO

"Pigs fly?" Magnus read blankly, imagining a cop car sailing through the air as the next weapon of choice for a monster.

"You fly?!" Alex yelped, before she sat back in her seat with an actual look of embarrassment for once. "Sorry, reflex."

"How often does someone say the words, pigs fly to you, that you have a reflex for that?" Thalia asked in concern.

"More than you'd think," she chuckled.

Back at the Plaza, Thalia pulled me aside.

Percy threw his hands up to cover his face.

Thalia just stared at him, unimpressed.

"Sorry, reflex," he smirked as he slowly dropped his hands.

"Mock me all you like," Alex sniffed, "at least I know how to throw hands the right way."

"What did Prometheus show you?"

Reluctantly, I told her about the vision of May Castellan's house. Thalia rubbed her thigh like she was remembering the old wound.

Thalia ground up her teeth and resisted the urge to do the same thing now. That burn mark on her leg had vanished when she'd come out of the tree. She remembered standing in the mirror and seeing her skin smooth from every old scar.

She'd been pissed at her father for that. His blessing that had molded her into another person, somehow years older yet not nearly as much as she should have been with the passing of time.

"That was a bad night," she admitted. "Annabeth was so little, I don't think she really understood what she saw. She just knew Luke was upset."

"Kids absorb more than you think they do Thals," Annabeth said softly.

"Yeah, I got that the second time around," Thalia nodded. She'd done nothing to protect Annabeth from that, but a part of her was relieved for it. It made the following weeks of Luke's anger and Annabeth not questioning it make retroactive sense, rather than just thinking the kid was blindly going along with this new rash behavior.

I looked out the hotel windows at Central Park. Small fires were still burning in the north, but otherwise the city seemed unnaturally peaceful. "Do you know what happened to May Castellan? I mean—"

"I know what you mean," Thalia said. "I never saw her have an, um, episode, but Luke told me about the glowing eyes, the strange things she would say. He made me promise never to tell.

"I see that worked out great for you," only Annabeth could have told her that without making her feel like she should be devoured by her own wolves.

"Yeah, my life's been pretty swell since then," Thalia nodded, only half mocking.

What caused it, I have no idea. If Luke knew, he never told me."

"Hermes knew," I said. "Something caused May to see parts of Luke's future, and Hermes understood what would happen—how Luke would turn into Kronos."

Thalia frowned. "You can't be sure of that. Remember Prometheus was manipulating what you saw, Percy, showing you what happened in the worst possible light.

Percy glanced from Thalia to the book and back several times. She wasn't wrong. The most disturbing part of that to him, in the large array of options he had, was the moment he'd just shared with her. Of course Prometheus could have conjured that whole thing from thin air, or just that face-melting moment where the Titan had flopped what had really been on the god of messangers face and nothing else.

Either way, he had nothing to decide but the miserable feeling of what he was supposed to do with the outcome, a god's mess. As usual.

Hermes did love Luke. I could tell just by looking at his face.

She'd seen it in the brief time Jupiter had been wooing her mother. Like all of Zeus's flings so irresistible to whatever wrath Hera might bring upon them for it, he had loved Beryl for that brief time. Bringing her gifts and smiling at her. He'd looked down at Jason in his crib with that same proud, and worried face Hermes had given Luke. Zeus- Jupiter she now realized, had loved his son, and known what was in store for his fate too. Could it really be called love to stand by and do it all, outcome be damned?

And Hermes was there that night because he was checking up on May, taking care of her. He wasn't all bad."

Magnus nodded in silent agreement he probably was the reason she still had food in the house and managed any sort of home care.

"It's still not right," I insisted. "Luke was just a little kid. Hermes never helped him, never stopped him from running away."

Thalia shouldered her bow. Again it struck me how much stronger she looked now that she'd stopped aging. You could almost see a silvery glow around her—the blessing of Artemis.

Thalia smiled with a sense of pride, that Percy, the strongest male hero she knew, thought that of her. That someone so clueless easily acknowledged how well she fit into the place she'd chosen for herself.

Gods did that just make the headache continue to split her in half about leaving Jason behind a second time when she got back. A part of her wanted to ask Percy's advice on this, and Annabeth's, but a smaller part of her thought she should ask Jason first considering he was the motive of her considering giving this up, while the rest of her was still telling those annoying little siblings to shut up and they didn't need her anymore and she'd made a vow and she was happy with this life! Wholly Zeus her head hurt!

"Percy," she said, "you can't start feeling sorry for Luke.

"When can he start then?" Annabeth was not even slightly proud of the way her voice shook with anger but unable to stop it. "I'd personally love a timetable for when that's allowed!"

"Don't be smart with me," Thalia frowned. "We were in the middle of a war Annabeth, you know as well as I do he needed to stay focused on the matter at hand-"

"His 'feeling sorry' is what saved-" her shout was cut off by Percy's. The whine in the back of his throat, the way he grabbed a fistful of hair and closed his eyes against the pain.

"Sorry, sorry," they both murmured, throwing each other one last distasteful look before silently agreeing to let it go while the rest of them slowly exhaled.

Percy slowly let his eyes flutter back open as he looked miserably between the pair in self-loathing. He was really tired of being the person standing in the way of Annabeth's old life. This was obviously something she long needed to talk to Thalia about, and his stupid brain couldn't handle it!

We all have tough things to deal with. All demigods do. Our parents are hardly ever around. But Luke made bad choices. Nobody forced him to do that. In fact—"

She glanced down the hall to make sure we were alone. "I'm worried about Annabeth. If she has to face Luke in battle, I don't know if she can do it. She's always had a soft spot for him."

Annabeth gave her sister a scathing look that would have sent anyone else running out of the room, possibly through one of the walls and finishing those off. "I can handle myself fine thank you!"

Thalia grinned back, but it wasn't the supportive gesture she'd once used guiding her arm to practice their techniques. It felt mocking. Like she was about to reach over and pat her on the head as a love-sick Aphoridte kid.

Blood rose to my face. "She'll do fine."

"Thank you!" Annabeth gestured to him so hard she whacked him in the face. Neither girl noticed. Percy was left to rub his lip he was positive would have been a little swollen if not for his curse.

Nobody bothered pointing out to her Percy wanted her to be fine. Percy hated Annabeth's puppy crush on Luke more than anyone, and that was probably a little more denial talking than faith in her consecutive inabilities in previous situations to 'do fine.'

But they all valued their tongues staying safely in their mouths to much to tell her that.

Magnus swallowed in mild fear to keep going, but the awkward silence just kept growing, and Thalia looked away first. An indulgent elder watching Annabeth fondly fumble with no idea when she'd get the hang of it but confident she would. The kind of look he'd assume would be on Artemis's face watching a girl get her heart broke, because she should have seen it coming.

"I don't know. After that night, after we left his mom's house? Luke was never the same. He got reckless and moody, like he had something to prove. By the time Grover found us and tried to get us to camp . . . well, part of the reason we had so much trouble was because Luke wouldn't be careful. He wanted to pick a fight with every monster we crossed.

"When I tell you we heard rumors of a cyclops den passing through and how fast he started marking every building for its possible lair," Thalia trailed off with a superior laugh.

Annabeth flushed with anger. She'd helped Luke every step of the way, feeling important as they analyzed possible locations. She'd seen it as another lesson she'd took to heart. Gods, Thalia's anger at him had somehow gotten worse over the years to be mocking this now! "You could have just left us there then if that's how you felt!" She scowled. Thalia had followed them into every building, silent and shield drawn.

Thalia spluttered, a tinge of red in her face. Anger, or embarrassment at realizing how much she'd actually hurt her little sister with this attitude they weren't sure as she only managed to say, "I would never-"

"Knock it off you two," Percy said sharply, pressing his knuckles tight into his temple and massaging the spot the only sign of this affecting him. "We've got how much of this crap left? I really wanted to finish this today, please-" his voice broke too. In exhaustion, but a little more emphasis on that plea too. He cared about both of them and this was just getting more miserable to watch with each hurtful comment.

"Okay," Annabeth promised, taking his hand gently from his forehead and holding it in her own again.

"Yeah, sorry Perce," Thalia agreed, but she pulled her knife out and began jabbing at her pants again in simmering frustration. This was far from over, and she had no delusions this fight had an endgame. She didn't see how the two of them would ever resolve past this. Annabeth was probably secretly grateful she was out of her life most of the time now because of it.

Annabeth didn't see that as a problem. Luke was her hero. 

Was her hero, Annabeth fought to swallow those words, that idea that had passed. Faded with some time. She didn't even believe in the ideal of heroes anymore, someone who always did the right thing for all the right reasons. There was no Greek Hero who got a happy retirement with zero regrets in life. Her tight hold on Percy's hand went white-knuckled. He just laced their fingers together without question.

She only understood that his parents had made him sad, and she got very defensive of him. She still is defensive. All I'm saying . . . don't you fall into the same trap. Luke has given himself to Kronos now. We can't afford to be soft on him."

Annabeth swallowed a very large and bitter pill as she did admit to herself all of that was true. She'd only come to the conclusion of all of that for herself this morning.

She wanted to finish vindictively reminding her that giving Luke a chance had been what saved them all, that Thalia acting like Luke was a lost cause right along with everyone else in her life hadn't mattered in the end, but she instead squeezed Percy's hand and took a calming breath. Percy was right. She needed to talk to her later to resolve this. Throwing each other's past into Percy's wasn't helping anyone.

I looked out at the fires in Harlem, wondering how many sleeping mortals were in danger right now because of Luke's bad choices.

"You're right," I said.

"Sweet music to my ears," her laughter sounded very forced, but she spoke to him normally enough, the tease lacing her voice as usual with one of her closest friends.

"Hey Will, you got a guitar around man?" Percy smiled in revenge. "I'd be happy to keep singing for her if that's what she wants?"

Thalia gave him a look of horror and betrayal. She had really hurt Annabeth, he might have gone through with it too.

"No Percy, I cannot pull a musical instrument out of my ass," he chuckled.

"Darn, have to hit pause on it for now then," he shrugged, giving an oh-so-innocent and playful smile back to Thalia while she hastily waved Magnus on. He only reluctantly did so because he didn't want to draw Oceanus back in here if Alex suggested they just go see if the fridge could produce that next.

Thalia patted my shoulder. "I'm going to check on the Hunters, then get some more sleep before nightfall. You should crash too."

"The last thing I need is more dreams."

"I know, believe me." Her dark expression made me wonder what she'd been dreaming about.

Jason had watched the entire exchange between the trio with sorrow for being useless and able to offer nothing of help, even if he wanted to. He was jealous of how Percy mediated the pair. He really wanted to know if Thalia was having nightmares about what he was going through on the opposite side of the country and his war, but that was ridiculous. She'd promised she didn't even know he was alive and he believed her.

She felt the burning sensation of his eyes on her and gave him an exhausted smile. She wanted to do something right around here. "Saw Artimes in battle, and it was going poorly," she said with a catch in her voice. "One was a vision of my- our mom, that drunken night she hit a tree. She was muttering about Zeus, and of course I couldn't do anything to stop her, but every part of me wished I could reach out and grab that steering wheel from her hand. I saw a girl fighting with her aunt and deciding to run away from home right into a monster, but of course I couldn't head out and explain to her what she was heading towards like I usually would have, my fight was there. Whole bunch of stuff Jase, that just made me miserable and exhausted as I woke up."

The god's design, or perhaps a latent curse of being a half-blood they could blame on their parents. Their dreams, their abilities, everything that made them unable to be sound asleep on that sidewalk too, but instead owning up to their moral obligation to fight.

Jason nodded in understanding and didn't press her for more.

His thirst for knowledge obviously not quenched, but he turned away, Thalia was surprised to feel someone else get her attention. Annabeth had released Percy, and gently took her hand, squeezing, offering her an apologetic smile. Her nightmares had been going no better, and she'd woken up crying in pain from her shoulder.

Thalia instantly smiled and squeezed back apologetically, and just like they had for years now, Luke settled back where he always did, locked in a safe tight box out of the way in the corner of their mind.

It was a common demigod problem: the more dangerous our situation became, the worse and more frequent our dreams got.

"Seriously, who is the god of dreams, and where's the nearest pitchfork," Alex said in complete commiseration for them, and wanting to have a word about not keeping her mother out of her own.

Annabeth and Nico exchanged awkward looks before deciding it might be best just to not answer her right now. Thalia opened her mouth, clearly having woken up on the chaotic side of the bed with no reservations, and Annabeth kicked her in the shin as her blessing of a cousin quickly moved on. They all knew Will had the best sense alive to not even entertain answering her, Percy thought in relief.

Jason, of course, was just pouting he didn't get the name of another god to add to his collection. They suspected he spent every night falling asleep trying to memorize mythomagic cards anyways.

"But Percy, there's no telling when you'll get another chance for rest. It's going to be a long night—maybe our last night."

"Hells yeah Thalia," Percy nodded and offered her a high-five. "Last night on earth and we spend it living the dream."

She laughed and high-fived him right back across Annabeth's face. She sighed with a long resigned look, wondering what it was like to have normal friends. Frankly, nobody in camp could even be considered. The closest she might ever get was Magnus.

I didn't like it, but I knew she was right. I nodded wearily and gave her Pandora's jar. "Do me a favor. Lock this in the hotel vault, will you? I think I'm allergic to pithos."

"Something not to be taken lightly moving forward young man," Alex said primly. "Well have to get you an epi pen, and perhaps restrict you to homecooked meals where we can better control your future culinary intake."

"I said pithos, not pistachios," Percy rolled his eyes.

"That's worse! You can't go antiquing with me!" She pouted.

Percy looked mildly concerned what antiquing was and really didn't want to ask further questions.

Thalia smiled. "You got it."

I found the nearest bed and passed out. But of course sleep only brought more nightmares.

I saw the undersea palace of my father. The enemy army was closer now, entrenched only a few hundred yards outside the palace. The fortress walls were completely destroyed. The temple my dad had used as his headquarters was burning with Greek fire.

There was a not so small part of Percy that still wished he'd stayed down there. Avoided this prophecy, the Styx, and proved to Triton and Ampthtirte why he was his father's son and fought to keep that from happening. If he could have just saved one undersea life it would have been worth it to stay behind.

I zoomed in on the armory, where my brother and some other Cyclopes were on lunch break, eating from huge jars of Skippy extra-chunky peanut butter (and don't ask me how it tasted underwater, because I don't want to know).

"Everything's tasted normal down here actually, it probably does to them too," Magnus offered.

"I want to know how big that jar was multiple cyclopses were eating from the same one," Jason said, imagining one with approximately the same weight and height as him.

"Think bigger," Percy promised. The storage rooms for those things must house a sea witch too.

As I watched, the outer wall of the armory exploded. A Cyclops warrior stumbled inside, collapsing on the lunch table. Tyson knelt down to help, but it was too late. The Cyclops dissolved into sea silt.

Percy felt his heart freeze in place. He'd never wanted to know what would ever happen to Tyson if he got hurt!

Annabeth laced her fingers through his, brushing her thumb across the back of his hand. His lungs were starting to hurt, he still hadn't taken a breath, his eyes solely on the book, but he knew it was her. And not because it would take someone cutting off Thalia's hand to force this. He'd just know her touch anywhere.

Enemy giants moved toward the breach, and Tyson picked up the fallen warrior's club. He yelled something to his fellow blacksmiths—probably "For Poseidon!"—but with his mouth full of peanut butter it sounded like "PUH PTEH BUN!" His brethren all grabbed hammers and chisels, yelled, "PEANUT BUTTER!" and charged behind Tyson into battle.

Then the scene shifted.

"Tyson-" Percy sounded terrified. His little brother had proven to be indestructible on more than one occasion, but all he could see in his eyes were those scars on his back from the sphynx. He could be hurt. He could be next.

Annabeth squeezed his hand again and he finally took in a much-needed breath, then another, as he shook his head and tossed that fear into the nearest volcano where it could blow itself up too. Tyson was smart, and strong, and if his dad wouldn't give him a chance he'd take this opportunity to show them all.

I was with Ethan Nakamura at the enemy camp.

"Nope, no, go back to Tyson," Magnus groaned at the words out of his mouth. He was half tempted to hand the book to Alex. She was so awesome at managing a level of hateful cadence that sat right on the edge of mocking joy to keep them all invested and in the right mood. He just kept picturing this backstabber's knife pulling away from Annabeth covered in blood over and over and he probably sounded like a whiny toddler.

He took a glance at his cousin real quick before he asked just to see her not bleeding and not turning green, to see her smiling at him. Encouraging, but not demanding he keep going right this second. He was suddenly really jealous of all her half-siblings in her cabin as he took a ragged breath but kept reading at his own pace.

What I saw made me shiver, partly because the army was so huge, partly because I recognized the place.

We were in the backwoods of New Jersey, on a crumbling road lined with run-down businesses and tattered billboard signs. A trampled fence ringed a big yard full of cement statuary. The sign above the warehouse was hard to read because it was in red cursive, but I knew what it said: AUNTY EM'S GARDEN GNOME EMPORIUM.

"Oh the good old days when Percy and Annabeth ran away from the circus and Grover was tagging along calling you guys idiots," Jason nodded.

"The first monster we ever killed together," Percy agreed as he gave her a kiss on the temple.

"The second time I had to save your butt," she grinned.

"The third time you-"

"Nope, no, we're not sitting around watching you two flirt, again," Magnus groused before reading on loudly.

I hadn't thought about the place in years.

"I'm pretty sure Grover thinks about it every once in a while," Jason muttered. The place he'd found out where his Uncle Ferdinand had died had seemed important to him at the time.

It was clearly abandoned. The statues were broken and spray-painted with graffiti. A cement satyr—Grover's Uncle Ferdinand—had lost his arm.

"Please tell me you don't mention that to Grover," Jason winced.

"Why would that ever come up?" Percy asked in mild concern. He certainly didn't go up to him after every nightmare and give him the details.

Part of the warehouse roof had caved in. A big yellow sign pasted on the door read: CONDEMNED.

"Where's Clarisse with her wrecking ball," Will agreed.

"I only wish she'd been off doing this secret mission. I actually would have told her about this nightmare if I believed for even a second she would," Percy nodded.

Hundreds of tents and fires surrounded the property. Mostly I saw monsters, but there were some human mercenaries in combat fatigues and demigods in armor, too. A purple-and-black banner hung outside the emporium, guarded by two huge blue Hyperboreans.

Ethan was crouched at the nearest campfire.

Percy scowled, his blood boiling at once. He wished this was a 'normal' kind of nightmare and he was about to watch a monster chase this guy around before eating him. By the tone of Magnus's voice, Percy was pretty sure he wouldn't even be that freaked out by the nastiest monster Percy could pick either.

A couple of other demigods sat with him, sharpening their swords. The doors of the warehouse opened, and Prometheus stepped out.

"Nakamura," he called. "The master would like to speak to you."

Ethan stood up warily. "Something wrong?"

Prometheus smiled. "You'll have to ask him."

One of the other demigods snickered. "Nice knowing you."

"Was it though?" Thalia asked blandly.

"Can't say I've enjoyed the experience," Percy huffed. Imagining this guy with friends though, maybe a mortal family somewhere out there agitated his mind. What else had Ethan given up besides his eye to get where he was?

Ethan readjusted his sword belt and headed into the warehouse.

Except for the hole in the roof, the place was just as I remembered. Statues of terrified people stood frozen in midscream.

"Got to wonder if the Hyperboreans are a fan of her work," Jason shivered.

"Or if they're possibly responsible for the iceberg that sank the Titanic," Alex nodded.

"That was a stretch," Annabeth frowned.

"I don't put anything past Canadians, I don't cut them slack," Alex sniffed.

In the snack bar area, the picnic tables had been moved aside. Right between the soda dispenser and pretzel warmer stood a golden throne. Kronos lounged on it, his scythe across his lap.

Percy looked a little miffed because if he had a throne, that's where he'd want it placed too. Kronos shouldn't be having good ideas like that.

He wore jeans and a T-shirt, and with his brooding expression he looked almost human—like the younger version of Luke I'd seen in the vision, pleading with Hermes to tell him his fate. Then Luke saw Ethan, and his face contorted into a very inhuman smile. His golden eyes glowed.

"Asked, and answered," Nico murmured. Luke had postulated about how proud he was being at the heart of all this, but he didn't think that young Luke yelling at Hermes would have done the same.

"Well, Nakamura. What did you think of the diplomatic mission?"

Ethan hesitated. "I'm sure Lord Prometheus is better suited to speak—"

"But I asked you."

Ethan's good eye darted back and forth, noting the guards that stood around Kronos.

Will looked so sad to hear that. He couldn't wrap his mind around the idea of willingly being somewhere where you feared for your life talking to your leader. Who would put themselves through that?

"I . . . I don't think Jackson will surrender. Ever."

Kronos nodded. "Anything else you wanted to tell me?"

"N-no, sir.

"You look nervous, Ethan."

"No, sir. It's just . . . I heard this was the lair of —"

"Medusa? Yes, quite true. Lovely place, eh? Unfortunately, Medusa hasn't re-formed since Jackson killed her, so you needn't worry about joining her collection.

Jason looked blankly around the room. "How does he know that? How on earth does he know it was Percy who killed her? Does his half-blood scent linger every time he kills a monster?"

Percy grinned. "I imagine him and Medusa in Tartarus bitching about me, personally. All the monsters I send down there have a hate club, and I'm on buttons."

Annabeth sighed and face palmed how proud he clearly was of that idea. She didn't bother wasting her breath explaining the darkest part of the world had no time for such light-heartedness. She did picture a few balloons with the camp half-blood logo being popped in celebration and grinned to herself for a second at Joe Bob only being allowed to throw tiny darts instead of more flaming cannonballs.

Besides, there are much more dangerous forces in this room."

Kronos looked over at a Laistrygonian giant who was munching noisily on some french fries. Kronos waved his hand and the giant froze. A french fry hung suspended in midair halfway between his hand and his mouth.

"Whew," Jason mock wiped sweat from his brow, "for a moment there I thought Kronos meant the ice giant and I was afraid he'd lost his ego!"

"Where is that on the body? I'll stab it, no questions asked," Percy sighed.

Thalia leaned around Annabeth and tried to jab Percy in the part of his skull she was pretty confident was close enough before she swatted her away with a distasteful look for the joke at both boys.

"Why turn them to stone," Kronos asked, "when you can freeze time itself?"

His golden eyes bored into Ethan's face. "Now, tell me one more thing. What happened last night on the Williamsburg Bridge?"

Will would have rather heard about Kronos getting stabbed in the throat than that continuing to be brought up. It really did hurt fresh every time.

Ethan trembled. Beads of perspiration were popping up on his forehead. "I . . . I don't know, sir."

"Yes, you do." Kronos rose from his seat. "When you attacked Jackson, something happened. Something was not quite right. The girl, Annabeth, jumped in your way."

"She wanted to save him."

"But he is invulnerable," Kronos said quietly. "You saw that yourself."

"I can't explain it. Maybe she forgot."

"I can't get Annabeth to forget the one time I burnt the popcorn," Percy scoffed. It didn't feel great to be on the same page as Kronos about something, but the fact was he could all to easily hear the disdain for that idea before Kronos even spoke it.

"And look what happened, now you believe me about proper timers on the microwave instead of just mashing that 30 second button," Annabeth nodded approvingly.

"She forgot," Kronos said. "Yes, that must've been it. Oh dear, I forgot my friend is invulnerable and took a knife for him. Oops. Tell me, Ethan, where were you aiming when you stabbed at Jackson?"

And there it was. Of course Kronos hadn't missed a beat, the Titan was probably a great dancer! He would likely leave the rest of his army to burn and drag Ethan out by his foot still demanding the answer to this.

Ethan frowned. He clasped his hand as if he were holding a blade, and mimed a thrust. "I'm not sure, sir. It all happened so fast. I wasn't aiming for any spot in particular."

"Is he, protecting you?" Magnus's voice was a painful combination of hope and dread. Did the guy have even a sliver of regret for all the suffering he'd caused? Or was this some secret vendetta and he was planning on killing Percy for himself?

"I honestly don't think he knew," Percy shook his head, even with a confused stare of his own. "No offense Magnus, but I've said it before, the heat of battle makes it so you don't think about every move." He tapped the side of his temple instead of gesturing at the books for some strange reason to make his point.

Magnus nodded in a way he understood what Percy meant, even if he had no factual idea what Percy was talking about outside of these books.

Kronos's fingers tapped the blade of his scythe. "I see," he said in a chilly tone. "If your memory improves, I will expect—"

Suddenly the Titan lord winced. The giant in the corner unfroze and the french fry fell into his mouth.

Kronos stumbled backward and sank into his throne.

"Woah," Alex said, sitting up instantly with completely undivided attention.

Magnus really didn't need the extra pressure of all of her attention on him, the way Annabeth had tensed up and his own common sense were more than enough, but his voice still went a little shaky for a few sentences despite his internal scolding.

"My lord?" Ethan started forward.

"I—" The voice was weak, but just for a moment it was Luke's. Then Kronos's expression hardened.

He raised his hand and flexed his fingers slowly as if forcing them to obey.

Annabeth felt herself go numb, like her mind was actively trying to detach itself to save her from feeling the full brunt of pain that should have caused.

Even through that, she felt Percy's arm tighten around her, his hand coming up to brush her hair. It didn't feel fair, that comfort and safety she felt. While her sister crossed her arms and scowled at the book like Magnus or Percy's own dream was trying to trick her. That she got this and the eventual peace of mind Luke wasn't suffering anymore under this torture if she could just hang on until then.

And she would.

It only hurt so much, hearing it fresh through Percy's memories because it only confirmed for her what she'd known all along. How much Luke had wanted to change, wanted to fight this. It was a good kind of hurt, even knowing it had all been in vain.

"It is nothing," he said, his voice steely and cold again. "A minor discomfort."

Ethan moistened his lips. "He's still fighting you, isn't he? Luke—"

"Is that, common knowledge," Jason asked with deep interest. "Or- huh. I always wondered what happened after you guys left that mountaintop, and Ethan was the only one there besides those Telkahines to witness if Luke and Kronos were having some sort of-"

"Enough Jason," Thalia's voice sounded harsh. It probably had something to do with the fact that everything hurt.

"Nonsense," Kronos spat. "Repeat that lie, and I will cut out your tongue. The boy's soul has been crushed. 

Annabeth knew the feeling. Her soul might as well have been crushed under that sky. She'd been walking around with a faulty, unstable structure of a soul for a long time since as she learned to do repairs there.

I am simply adjusting to the limits of this form. It requires rest. It is annoying, but no more than a temporary inconvenience."

"I'll show him a temporary inconvenience," Alex scowled. "Shove my fist so far down his throat and then hope he's allergic to nuts as I pull back out-"

Will gave a slight cough, which was the flimsiest reprimand possible, but Alex was great at taking a hint like that.

"As . . . as you say, my lord."

"You!" Kronos pointed his scythe at a dracaena with green armor and a green crown. "Queen Sess, is it?"

"There's a queen of those things?" Will asked in disgust, resisting the urge to wrap his arms around his stomach to hide their favorite target of ripping people's guts.

"Not for long," Nico promised. He'd put this thing's head on a plate just for making Will look like that.

"Yesssss, my lord."

"Is our little surprise ready to be unleashed?"

"Why he gotta be vague even in dreamland?" Magnus frowned. "Who's he mincing words for?!"

"He does know Percy and plenty of half-bloods are likely seeing this," Annabeth reminded gently. "It does suck to see him being cautious." Her dreams had mostly been filled with painful flashes she could never focus on long enough, a torture in itself. Chiron trying to convince his brethren to help, her mother attempting to reason with the other gods on how best to cripple Typhoon and being ignored, that sort of thing.

The dracaena queen bared her fangs. "Oh, yessss, my lord. Quite a lovely sssssurprissse."

"I don't believe her," Percy scowled, wondering what was going to happen when a pig and a snake got crossed and imagining some horrible flying monstrosity somehow that shot venom and had tusks and could kill him twenty different ways instead of the usual ten.

"Excellent," Kronos said. "Tell my brother Hyperion to move our main force south into Central Park. The half-bloods will be in such disarray they will not be able to defend themselves. Go now, Ethan. Work on improving your memory. We will talk again when we have taken Manhattan."

"Oh, so, never," Nico said with interest. "Always nice to know how long you can put a conversation off for."

"Nico over here finding all the secrets to enjoy life today," Alex chuckled.

"I like to think we're all getting something out of this," Nico shrugged with a little smirk.

Ethan bowed, and my dreams shifted one last time.

"Did you have a gut feeling it was one last time?" Jason asked, his voice instantly falling into rambling territory again as he smiled. "Actually, your dreams have been coming in threes lately! I wonder if it's because of your heightened battle fatigue, or perhaps the curse increased your extra sense that allows this as well, or-"

"I'm going to get a pillow and smother him," Percy decided.

"Do it gently," Thalia sighed, "I'm not banking on him coming back from the dead a second time."

Jason closed his mouth and looked around to make sure there weren't actually any pillows to be used against him in here. The only ones available were the couch cushions, but he wasn't going to bet his precious air that Percy wouldn't rip those out from under his butt to try.

I saw the Big House at camp, but it was a different era. The house was painted red instead of blue.

Alex spluttered on a laugh and Magnus couldn't help but join in.

"How often do they repaint that?" Will asked in his own delight. "Is it due for another? Because I vote orange!"

"You're going to make kids blind when the sun hits that thing," Nico sighed.

"I was going to ask you guys that," Alex caught her breath back and grinned at Annabeth as her last hope. "Where do I vote to make it tie-die rainbow?!"

"I'll be sure to bring it up with Chiron when we get back," Annabeth chuckled.

The campers down at the volleyball pit had early '90s hairstyles, which were probably good for keeping monsters away.

Which only increased the laughter another fold with everybody joining in.

"I need a photo of Chiron with an afro," Thalia wheezed. "I won't even use it for blackmail, I swear!"

"I guarantee the Aphrodite cabin had a whole closet dedicated to butterfly clips," Annabeth nodded.

"Every girl was rocking The Rachel, and every guy had frosted tips, I needed no further evidence why camp survived up to Thalia's tree," Percy nodded.

Chiron stood by the porch, talking to Hermes and a woman holding a baby. Chiron's hair was shorter and darker. Hermes wore his usual jogging suit with his winged high-tops. The woman was tall and pretty. She had blond hair, shining eyes and a friendly smile. The baby in her arms squirmed in his blue blanket like Camp Half-Blood was the last place he wanted to be.

"Has anybody dropped off a baby there like at a firehouse?" Magnus asked in concern.

"Not that I know of," Will frowned, his mind boggling who would raise the tot. Chiron seemed like the only viable option, and he was now picturing him in archery class with a second quiver and that blue blanket sticking out.

"It's an honor to have you here," Chiron told the woman, though he sounded nervous. "It's been a long time since a mortal was allowed at camp."

"Don't encourage her," Hermes grumbled. "May, you can't do this."

"Obviously about to do something a god told her not to do," Alex said with a pained smile. "Damn Percy, I know you hate to hear it, but you were destined to be just like Luke. In all the good ways, anyways."

Annabeth gave her a distasteful look. It sounded like kind words but still somehow insulted Luke.

"Yeah, yeah," Percy sighed. It still gave him vertigo how much May Castellan reminded him of his mom. Posideon had wanted to send him to camp and she'd refused. Hermes was over here telling May not to do something, and things obviously hadn't turned out well for her.

With a shock, I realized I was seeing May Castellan. She looked nothing like the old woman I'd met.

She seemed full of life—the kind of person who could smile and make everyone around her feel good.

Yep, just keep drawing those parallels universe, Percy wanted to scream and slam the book shut. He couldn't get enough of them!

"Oh, don't worry so much," May said, rocking the baby. "You need an Oracle, don't you? The old one's been dead for, what, twenty years?"

"Longer," Chiron said gravely.

Hermes raised his arms in exasperation. "I didn't tell you that story so you could apply.

"Why, did he tell her the story?" Magnus asked in concern. It didn't seem like a random funfact a god would drop.

"Also, he called it a story?" Jason arched a brow in fascination. "Either he doesn't know Hades did it, or damn, they're really more detached than even I thought and it's getting beyond depressing."

Annabeth and Thalia exchanged depressed looks.

To their surprise, Percy answered. "Yeah, honestly guys, none of that surprises me. My mom probably asked my dad something about clear sight too, maybe the gods explain it if they're lucky, and we know the gods don't know when curses get thrown around every time, otherwise Hades would have been able to find Deaduls from that bird brand thing Athena gave him."

Both boys nodded, they got way to wrapped up in the moment sometimes.

It's dangerous. Chiron, tell her."

"It is," Chiron warned.

"And that's why Chiron's lived all these years," Will nodded wisely.

"Does he take every order given to him by the gods? Dude needs some more fun in his life," Alex sniffed.

"He escaped his family of constant fun, I think he likes being a little more settled and calm at camp," Nico reminded. He could appreciate the old soul who just wanted to be left alone for hours on end, a feeling he'd been deprived of for days. Even in company he'd grown to like. He'd never even had a social battery before all this and it was way over-taxed.

"For many years, I have forbidden anyone from trying. We don't know exactly what's happened. Humanity seems to have lost the ability to host the Oracle."

"That's somehow worse than the original curse," Thalia said in disgust. "I can't believe Hades never warned anybody what he did, even to brag about it!"

"And have Apollo's wrath rain upon him and start a mini-civil war?" Will sighed. "No, Hades would probably be pleased if he ever found out another immortal's lover fell prey to this curse after what was done to his."

Nico smiled in surprise at Will acknowledging his dad's cunning side, and even more at Thaila conceding the point.

"We've been through that," May said. "And I know I can do it. Hermes, this is my chance to do something good. I've been given the gift of sight for a reason."

'Not this reason' bile rose painfully in the back of Annabeth's throat. She hated Zeus so much in this moment it didn't even feel like it should all be contained inside her. This was his fault for trying to prevent the prophecy by outlawing children as if he wouldn't break that the moment he felt like it. He'd taken it out on other gods because he feared of history repeating itself like he'd overthrown Kronos. So of course he'd inevitably created his own downfall in this domino of effects that Luke and Percy completed.

I wanted to yell at May Castellan to stop. I knew what was about to happen. I finally understood how her life had been destroyed. But I couldn't move or speak.

"You think Luke ever had this dream?" Will asked, his voice rough with emotion for this poor family. "Think Kronos showed it to him?" He'd almost wish it for him, to give the guy some kind of closure on what happened to his mother, but surely this had only added fuel to the flame of his hatred.

Annabeth and Thalia exchanged miserable looks because, they didn't know. And that always hurt worse.

Hermes looked more hurt than worried. "You couldn't marry if you became the Oracle," he complained. "You couldn't see me anymore."

That was a weirdly selfish but kind of sweet complaint, Alex thought in surprise. It continued to intrigue her how many times the gods kept saying this was the mortal they wanted to love and cherish forever, when she'd never fathomed before all this a god would bother to have a child without a selfish motivation of breaking them free of a prison.

May put her hand on his arm. "I can't have you forever, can I? You'll move on soon. You're immortal."

He started to protest, but she put her hand on his chest. "You know it's true! Don't try to spare my feelings. Besides, we have a wonderful child. I can still raise Luke if I'm the Oracle, right?"

"No," Magnus said bluntly, but a gentleness to his voice. A doctor with to much experience giving someone months to live. No, she could not do it, and they all wished she hadn't tried.

Chiron coughed. "Yes, but in all fairness, I don't know how that will affect the spirit of the Oracle. A woman who has already borne a child—as far as I know, this has never been done before. If the spirit does not take—"

"It will," May insisted.

No, I wanted to shout. It won't.

Percy shivered, and Annabeth put her arms around him to hold him tight. He rested his head on hers for a moment as he felt the chains of this dream melt. Some part of him still felt what Luke must have every day for a time. How evil all of this felt, even just the act of showing him this knowing he couldn't do a thing to stop it, the worst torture to put him through.

But he took a breath and got a whiff of her lemon scent and knew the gods couldn't be all bad, not so long as they could go through this together.

May Castellan kissed her baby and handed the bundle to Hermes. "I'll be right back."

She gave them one last confident smile and climbed the steps.

Magnus asked dully, "can I take this moment as proof; that confidence cannot take you over the finish line?"

"Sure, but it doesn't mean don't do it scared either," Alex shrugged.

Which really kind of freaked the others out for a moment as they realized they had no idea what Alex was willing to do without caring about the consequences.

Chiron and Hermes paced in silence. The baby squirmed.

A green glow lit the windows of the house. The campers stopped playing volleyball and stared up at the attic. A cold wind rushed through the strawberry fields.

Hermes must've felt it too. He cried, "No! NO!"

He shoved the baby into Chiron's arms and ran for the porch. Before he reached the door, the sunny afternoon was shattered by May Castellan's terrified scream.

I got up so fast I banged my head on somebody's shield.

"Got to make you wonder how the rest of that day went," Nico said bluntly. His father had dumped him in a river and then a hotel to get away from it. How long had baby Luke been left in Chiron's lap while May continued screaming to this day in different spirits? How long until someone remembered to collect the baby and then think of no better option but to leave him with her? Who kept restocking all the ingredients in that house just to watch them go bad?

"I imagine that day went not well and kept stretching for the next twenty-something years," Percy said miserably. A part of him still wanted to yell at Hestia and Prometheus and whatever other god decided to keep showing him this crap! Why was it whenever he needed answers he was told to wait, but he kept getting all of Luke's miserable life beamed into his head lately?!

"Ow!"

"Sorry, Percy." Annabeth was standing over me. "I was just about to wake you."

"With a shield to the face?" Jason didn't sound disapproving exactly, to Percy's dismay, more just curious how that would have gone. Percy was already imagining her banging on it like a gong too.

"No, that was just bad luck, his specialty," she shrugged.

She just got dubious looks from the others, though more for the fact of why she was holding anything when she should have been on bed rest.

Not that a single one of them was insane enough to think to tell her that, not if they wanted to keep their jaws from being dislocated.

I rubbed my head, trying to clear the disturbing visions. Suddenly a lot of things made sense to me: May Castellan had tried to become the Oracle. She hadn't known about Hades's curse preventing the spirit of Delphi from taking another host. Neither had Chiron or Hermes. They hadn't realized that by trying to take the job, May would be driven mad, plagued with fits in which her eyes would glow green and she would have shattered glimpses of her child's future.

Alex repressed hard the disturbing question swimming to mind of what would happen to the next person who tried. Chiron had said he'd forbidden anyone from trying before May Castellan. Had the girl, that cursed Oracle, warned him of the curse placed upon her? And what of the next girl...the one who kept having dreams of Percy and Luke and all this prophecy...

But Rachel had been fine. In this room chilling with Percy. So that had all worked itself out fine.

Unless she'd just been having one of her good days.

"Percy?" Annabeth asked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied.

Annabeth gave him a look that very plainly said she'd like to hit him in the face with that shield again, on purpose.

He just grinned back, mildly apologetic, and she rolled her eyes and moved on.

"What . . . what are you doing in armor? You should be resting."

"Oh, I'm fine," she said, though she still looked pale. She was barely moving her right arm.

"Because that's the definition of fine," Will said with a grimace. He still had not managed to duplicate himself into twenty other versions to keep an eye on every kid in camp though, plus a few extra to enjoy leisure and fun since this happened, so really, he had no one to blame on this happening but himself.

"It's Percy's definition of fine," Annabeth sniffed while her boyfriend gave her a miserable smile.

"And we all know we should take Percy's grasp on the English dictionary as biblical," Jason said with pure sarcasm.

"Open to interpretation, exactly," Annabeth nodded in appreciation.

"Gods, they've already come up with their own secret language, we're doomed," Thalia groaned while Percy nodded in agreement.

"That nectar and ambrosia fixed me up."

"Uh-huh. You can't seriously go out and fight."

She offered me her good hand and helped me up. My head was pounding.

"Takes one to know one," Annabeth said with pride. She'd know Percy's headache face anywhere. He had so much tension in his jaw it could snap another bridge.

Outside, the sky was purple and red.

"You're going to need every person you have," she said. "I just looked in my shield. There's an army—"

"Heading south into Central Park," I said. "Yeah, I know."

I told her part of my dreams. I left out the vision of May Castellan, because it was too disturbing to talk about. I also left out Ethan's speculation about Luke fighting Kronos inside his body. I didn't want to get Annabeth's hopes up.

Their light banter shifted instantly to a gap between them falling from nowhere. Not large, either could jump over it if they wished, they just leaned back anyway to give each other space from that.

"Do you think Ethan suspects about your weak spot?" she asked.

"I don't know," I admitted. "He didn't tell Kronos anything, but if he figures it out—"

"We can't let him."

"I'll bonk him on the head harder next time," I suggested.

Jason gave a breathy laugh as he closed his mouth back and Percy shot him a smirk of understanding. Some advice was universal.

"Any idea what surprise Kronos was talking about?"

She shook her head. "I didn't see anything in the shield, but I don't like surprises."

"Agreed."

"No surprise birthday parties, got it," Alex nodded seriously, she did not need a sword at her throat for some sparklers thank you, no matter how tempting the idea sounded just to test both of their reflexes.

"So," she said, "are you going to argue about me coming along?"

"Nah. You'd just beat me up."

Percy laughed right along with everybody else. He'd always love this feeling and do anything he could to get back to it, no matter how many fights he had to remember for this.

She managed a laugh, which was good to hear. I grabbed my sword, and we went to rally the troops.

Thalia and the head counselors were waiting for us at the Reservoir. The lights of the city were blinking on at twilight. I guess a lot of them were on automatic timers. Streetlamps glowed around the shore of the lake, making the water and trees look even spookier.

"They're coming," Thalia confirmed, pointing north with a silver arrow. "One of my scouts just reported they've crossed the Harlem River. There was no way to hold them back. The army . . ." She shrugged. "It's huge."

"Because that's a shrugging kind of statement," Magnus frowned.

"Oh I'm sorry, let me try again," Thalia rolled her eyes, cleared her throat, and said, "the army, it's huge!" Then she gasped dramatically and mock sobbed.

"Thank you," Magnus nodded.

"See, I think the Hunters and Campers would respect you more for that, everybody loves the emotional one who cries at everything," Alex mockingly agreed.

"I know sarcasm when I hear it Alex, and I don't care," Magnus crossed his arms, fully aware she was the only person he could ever pretend defiance at and it still somehow looked dainty in his own mind.

"We'll hold them at the park," I said. "Grover, you ready?"

He nodded. "As ready as we'll ever be. If my nature spirits can stop them anywhere, this is the place."

"Yes, we will!" said another voice. A very old, fat satyr pushed through the crowd, stumbling over his own spear. He was dressed in wood-bark armor that only covered half of his belly.

"Leneus?" I said.

"I note the question mark behind his name," Magnus laughed in surprise. "Now you're questioning if you remember it right, or just that he's there? I'm at both!"

"Nah, just the second, I could never forget that grass stain in his fur," Percy smirked.

"Don't act so surprised," he huffed. "I am a leader of the Council, and you did tell me to find Grover. Well, I found him, and I'm not going to let a mere outcast lead the satyrs without my help!"

"He's...almost got you there Percy," Nico looked so bewildered at how close the old goat was to being right on some level.

"Yeah, I almost have a gut feeling about how this is going to go now, but that might just be him rubbing off on me," Percy said.

Behind Leneus's back, Grover made gagging motions, but the old satyr grinned like he was the savior of the day.

Which caused another round of laughter throughout the room.

"Oh, it's been far to long since we got to hear Grover being as rotten as you Perce," Will managed.

"You just haven't heard the best of him," Percy grinned. Grover had threatened to eat more than one of Mrs. Dodd's assignments back in the day, even if he'd never managed to say it to her face.

"Never fear! We'll show those Titans!"

I didn't know whether to laugh or be angry, but I managed to keep a straight face. "Um . . . yeah.

"Herculean effort right there," Annabeth nodded in admiration.

Percy grinned, it was the first time hearing his name hadn't annoyed him in a while. Now if only she somehow had that way with saying Luke's name.

Well, Grover, you won't be alone. Annabeth and the Athena cabin will make their stand here. And me, and . . . Thalia?"

Jason found it an odd moment of hesitation for Percy. Obviously he knew he couldn't order her to help, but he thought Percy had enough confidence in their friendship he could just ask her without thinking twice. He certainly would have assumed it of them.

She patted me on the shoulder. "Say no more. The Hunters are ready."

I looked at the other counselors. "That leaves the rest of you with a job just as important. You have to guard the other entrances to Manhattan. You know how tricky Kronos is. He'll hope to distract us with this big army and sneak another force in somewhere else. It's up to you to make sure that doesn't happen. Has each cabin chosen a bridge or tunnel?"

The counselors nodded grimly.

Annabeth still remembered the array of looks on their faces as she wondered if she'd see them all again. The edges of revenge had some wear and tear on Jake's sharp face, Drew had looked fierce and tried to stand taller than anyone. The Stolls had been standing next to each other, as usual, but there had been something grim in their smiles that made her blood chill. Katie had looked like she was fighting back tears as she adjusted her bag, and she hadn't even seen Will there. Maybe he'd been delegating from his tent, maybe one of the other Apollo kids had assumed battle command and they were sharing. Pollux had stood apart from everyone. Eyes downcast, gripping a canteen. She knew he'd gone with the Demeter cabin. She knew he'd helped in every way he could.

She knew none of it had felt like enough.

"Then let's do it," I said. "Good hunting, everybody!"

We heard the army before we saw it.

The noise was like a cannon barrage combined with a football stadium crowd—like every Patriots fan in New England was charging us with bazookas.

"I feel like that's one of those normal nightmares you've never bothered to mention," Alex grinned. That was a little to specific for Percy to have no reference.

"I'm not a big enough sports fan to care what colors they were wearing," Percy shrugged.

At the north end of the reservoir, the enemy vanguard broke through the woods—a warrior in golden armor leading a battalion of Laistrygonian giants with huge bronze axes. Hundreds of other monsters poured out behind them.

"Positions!" Annabeth yelled.

Her cabinmates scrambled. The idea was to make the enemy army break around the reservoir. To get to us, they'd have to follow the trails, which meant they'd be marching in narrow columns on either side of the water.

At first, the plan seemed to work.

Jason nodded without surprise. Annabeth would of course come up with a strong strategy for the beginning and Percy would help conclude this with one of his on-the-fly insane ideas. He just wished he'd gotten to hear the in-between, the planning stages. Gods he wished he could sit on this book and ignore everybody else trying to stop him from picking apart her brain. Maybe he could guilt Thalia into distracting them for a bit when this book was done and have some fun over a sheaf of charting paper with Annabeth if he was lucky.

The enemy divided and streamed toward us along the shore. When they were halfway across, our defenses kicked in. The jogging trail erupted in Greek fire, incinerating many of the monsters instantly. Others flailed around, engulfed in green flames. Athena campers threw grappling hooks around the largest giants and pulled them to the ground.

In the woods on the right, the Hunters sent a volley of silver arrows into the enemy line, destroying twenty or thirty dracaenae, but more marched behind them. A bolt of lightning crackled out of the sky and fried a Laistrygonian giant to ashes, and I knew Thalia must be doing her daughter of Zeus thing.

"Please do pause and share your powers of deduction there Sherlock," Thalia rolled her eyes at him pointing out something so minor.

"You weren't using them on me, so I knew it was you and not your dad," Percy shrugged. He had like, a fifty-fifty shot of being right anyways.

"Ah, thank you, proceed." She grinned.

Grover raised his pipes and played a quick tune. A roar went up from the woods on both sides as every tree, rock, and bush seemed to sprout a spirit. Dryads and satyrs raised their clubs and charged. The trees wrapped around the monsters, strangling them. Grass grew around the feet of the enemy archers. Stones flew up and hit dracaenae in the faces.

Magnus decided he had a lot of mixed feelings about that he needed to sit with for a while. Nature had always meant kindness to him, as he remembered his mother weaving through the trees and smiling every day no matter the sky above. He never felt to cold or to hot sleeping under the shade of leaves in parks every night.

This description, this long-shattered world view was still something he was trying to adjust to no matter how many days later. The fact that something so deeply ingrained in the good of his life had a violent side that could fight back, if for a good cause.

The enemy slogged forward. Giants smashed through the trees, and naiads faded as their life sources were destroyed. Hellhounds lunged at the timber wolves, knocking them aside. Enemy archers returned fire, and a Hunter fell from a high branch.

One of many moments Thalia wasn't proud of. That she couldn't stop and check on every girl to make sure they still had breath, that she couldn't have taken her friend's place in that spot but instead tried to make up for it by being everywhere on the ground, the central target.

"Percy!" Annabeth grabbed my arm and pointed at the reservoir.

Which Magnus was grateful for as he tried to pull himself out of his own mind. This kind of violence he hated to be immersed in, that he'd be running out of so fast nobody would have time to call him a coward.

The Titan in the gold armor wasn't waiting for his forces to advance around the sides. He was charging toward us, walking straight over the top of the lake.

Percy huffed and made a grumpy, annoyed little frown. Nico was pretty confident it was because a Titan had tried that before it had crossed Percy's mind to attempt.

A Greek firebomb exploded right on top of him, but he raised his palm and sucked the flames out of the air.

"He can't do that to the sun, right?" Magnus asked with dread in every syllable why this guy hadn't just turned around and caused this planet's destruction already.

"Probably," Percy shrugged without much concern, "but where would be the fun in that?"

"Hyperion," Annabeth said in awe. "The lord of light. Titan of the east."

"Bad?" I guessed.

"Next to Atlas, he's the greatest Titan warrior. In the old days, four Titans controlled the four corners of the world. Hyperion was the east—the most powerful. He was the father of Helios, the first sun god."

"Bad," Jason repeated, just in case Percy had missed any of that. Better to keep it on his level.

"Yes, thank you," Percy's grin was fuelled with adrenaline that made Jason's skin crawl. "Guess who's going to need the lesson the sun also has to set, and I'm not even going to put on stupid ram's horns."

"Pity, I bet Grover would have fashioned you some if you asked," Alex said.

"I'll keep him busy," I promised.

"Percy, even you can't—"

"Just keep our forces together."

We'd set up at the reservoir for good reason. I concentrated on the water and felt its power surging through me.

Nico sighed, really wishing he could get some more kind of deep dive experience out of that answer. He'd love to know Percy's process and how he might be able to replicate that without exhausting himself trying to do something similar like walk across a shadowy abyss.

The truth just seemed to be Percy had natural talent, something he couldn't study and practice and get better at.

I advanced toward Hyperion, running over the top of the water. Yeah, buddy. Two can play that game.

"Maybe even three if Tyson tried hard enough," Jason smirked.

"I wish," Percy agreed, while Thalia looked a little green at the implications of walking on water. The clearer she could see to the bottom, the more likely she'd rather just stay on shore and hope for the best.

Twenty feet away, Hyperion raised his sword. His eyes were just like I'd seen in my dream—as gold as Kronos's but brighter, like miniature suns.

"The sea god's brat," he mused. "You're the one who trapped Atlas beneath the sky again?"

"It wasn't hard," I said. "You Titans are about as bright as my gym socks."

"Are we still talking your Meriwether uniform?" Alex asked with interest. "With tie die shirts and shorts? I'm hoping they provided the vibrant socks as well. That's almost a compliment Percy."

"Note to self, compare Alex to my socks later," Percy nodded to himself.

"Oh you have no idea what you've done," Annabeth told her in misery. Alex, of course, just grinned at the challenge of the crazy kind of socks she'd try to get Percy into.

Hyperion snarled. "You want bright?"

His body ignited in a column of light and heat. I looked away, but I was still blinded.

Instinctively I raised Riptide—just in time. Hyperion's blade slammed against mine. The shock wave sent a ten-foot ring of water across the surface of the lake.

My eyes still burned. I had to shut off his light.

I concentrated on the tidal wave and forced it to reverse. Just before impact, I jumped upward on a jet of water.

"I'm getting Ares flashbacks," Magnus was blinking too like he was struggling to keep one god in mind. Percy had fought to many by now, they tended to blur together.

"Yeah, I walked so they could run or something like that," Percy grinned.

Magnus just shook his head and didn't bother to correct him. He was almost right that time. Besides, he liked the idea of the gods running from Percy on sight if they started to annoy him after a certain set number had been defeated. Maybe this would be it.

"AHHHHH!" The waves smashed into Hyperion and he went under, his light extinguished.

I landed on the lake's surface just as Hyperion struggled to his feet. His golden armor was dripping wet. His eyes no longer blazed, but they still looked murderous.

"You will burn, Jackson!" he roared.

"Been there, done that," Percy mock yawned, shifting his weight so much in his seat like he was on the ride of his life. "Try another volcano."

"Please do not," Annabeth grumbled, taking his hand again.

Our swords met again and the air charged with ozone.

"You two are probably single-handedly pushing that whole glacier melting problem into overdrive," Will sighed.

"I'll go up to Antarctica and freeze them over again on vacation," Percy said in mild apology. The whales complained all the time in the ocean about their migration patterns feeling off and he didn't want to make that worse.

Jason shivered, and the others chuckled like he was just playing up the joke, so he just smiled along and repressed deep the dark feeling he had about that joke.

The battle still raged around us. On the right flank, Annabeth was leading an assault with her siblings.

Magnus tried his best to swallow his concern and not blurt out if Annabeth was okay. If she was lagging behind, short of breath, if her arm felt like it was on fire and she'd rather rip it off just after a short burst of using it. She was obviously fine and didn't need her cousin-

"How were you doing?" Percy turned to her in concern. He'd seen her running around at the time so he at least knew she was still alive and he could keep his focus.

"I was fine seaweed brain," she grinned at him. "Very tired and hurting like everybody else, but still moving around."

"That's not the gold standard wise girl," Percy sighed, but didn't bother to argue the point further. She was alive, they weren't in the heat of battle right now, and it was just another argument with her he'd lose.

Magnus was studying the pair with relief. He might not have been the family she needed, but it was always good to see her with the one she'd chosen.

On the left flank, Grover and his nature spirits were regrouping, entangling the enemies with bushes and weeds.

"Enough games," Hyperion told me. "We fight on land."

I was about to make some clever comment, like "No," when the Titan yelled.

"Percy, what would we do without your witty comebacks? Your sass? Your, your pizzaz!" Alex laughed.

"Be very bored listening to this I'm sure," Percy chuckled.

A wall of force slammed me through the air—just like the trick Kronos had pulled on the bridge. I sailed backward about three hundred yards and smashed into the ground. If it hadn't been for my new invulnerability, I would've broken every bone in my body.

"You wouldn't have any bones in your body left," Jason observed like he'd personally pulled out every bone in someone's body before.

"Yeah," Percy groaned, he'd kind of wished for it at the time as he rubbed at the spot on his back.

I got to my feet, groaning. "I really hate it when you Titans do that."

"Are you the pig in this situation," Magnus frowned as he fidgeted with a few pages in nerves. He really hated all of these Titan fights!

"I probably smelled like bacon after that," Percy shrugged, but the feeling didn't sit right as he kept shifting his weight around.

Hyperion closed on me with blinding speed.

I concentrated on the water, drawing strength from it.

Hyperion attacked. He was powerful and fast, but he couldn't seem to land a blow. The ground around his feet kept erupting in flames, but I kept dousing it just as quickly.

"Stop it!" the Titan roared. "Stop that wind!"

"Oh, well, since he asked so nicely," Thalia scoffed. She could still vividly recall feeling that wind pulling at her clothes and making even her aim difficult to keep straight, and just somehow knowing in her bones it was Percy. He was over there causing mayhem. She was still so proud.

I wasn't sure what he meant. I was too busy fighting.

"I think Percy finally won the summary competition," Will sighed in dismay. "Sorry Nico."

"Eh, he beats me at everything cool, what's one more," he shrugged.

Percy just looked blankly at the two and clearly didn't think they were funny.

Hyperion stumbled like he was being pushed away. Water sprayed his face, stinging his eyes. The wind picked up, and Hyperion staggered backward.

"Percy!" Grover called in amazement. "How are you doing that?"

Doing what? I thought.

Then I looked down, and I realized I was standing in the middle of my own personal hurricane.

Magnus shook his head slowly from side to side as Percy once again broke all laws of sanity. If he hadn't met this guy in here, all doey-eyed and forgetful, he'd probably be the scariest freaking person Magnus had ever known. If he wasn't sitting there, juiced up smile on his face like he was on the best ride of his life while his cousin smiled with nothing but deep affection on her face for him, he would have thought this guy was a monster and run for his life, rather braving the depths of the ocean alone than wondering what he'd do.

Percy was just smiling like a friendly guy willing to offer directions to any pedestrian who happened to be lost in New York.

Clouds of water vapor swirled around me, winds so powerful they buffeted Hyperion and flattened the grass in a twenty-yard radius. Enemy warriors threw javelins at me, but the storm knocked them aside.

Alex threw back her head in delighted laughter at this controlled chaos. "Percy, you might be asexual, because you are not fucking around!"

Percy laughed along, a pure noise right from his belly as he felt the energy flowing through him so clearly. He could taste it on the back of his tongue, he felt like he could hold up the sky without breaking a sweat. This is how his dad must feel all the time when he wasn't withered away by a war.

"Sweet," I muttered. "But a little more!"

Lightning flickered around me. The clouds darkened and the rain swirled faster. I closed in on Hyperion and blew him off his feet.

"Ah, the do as I say, not as I do stance," Annabeth said in mild delight. She needed to make sure he stayed grounded and not to over-excited about this.

"He didn't even have it coming half as much as, others," Percy agreed with a wild smile. She grinned right back. She knew exactly what he hadn't said and the two just shared in this moment.

"Percy!" Grover called again. "Bring him over here!"

I slashed and jabbed, letting my reflexes take over, Hyperion could barely defend himself. His eyes kept trying to ignite, but the hurricane quenched his flames.

I couldn't keep up a storm like this forever, though. I could feel my powers weakening. With one last effort, I propelled Hyperion across the field, straight to where Grover was waiting.

"I will not be toyed with!" Hyperion bellowed.

"He's so right," Alex cooed in a poor, pitiful baby voice. "He deserves to have someone play imagination with him instead! Much more possibilities to go off of!"

"Please keep all gods and Titans and whatever adjacent beings away from her, please," Magnus groaned, eyes shut, well aware he was talking into the unknown and nothing was listening. It honestly was more for his sanity than worried Alex couldn't handle it too.

He managed to get to his feet again, but Grover put his reed pipes to his lips and began to play.

Leneus joined him. Around the grove, every satyr took up the song—an eerie melody, like a creek flowing over stones. The ground erupted at Hyperion's feet. Gnarled roots wrapped around his legs.

"What-" Magnus's voice cracked with stress right as he tried to read the next word too. Oh gods. It was really happening. He'd had the creepy thought before about Grover using nature to do this kind of crazy stuff, but he had no earthly clue what was about to come out of his mouth and that ground next and he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Magnus," Annabeth said gently, as if to a startled pegasus colt who would take off the second she broke eye contact. "Do you need a pass?" She'd hate it if he was feeling overwhelmed by all this.

He hesitated. It would be the second time he'd done this. He was the only one who'd had to do this. But you know what? He was really tired of having his world thrown into his face. "Yeah," he sighed, passing the book to Alex. He just. Really couldn't with whatever Grover was about to do to a Titan. Even if it didn't work.

She took it without hesitation and kept reading like nothing happened. Magnus flashed his cousin a miserable smile of gratitude. He knew these guys. They weren't going to mock him for being to weak to handle this crap. He'd just needed a breath to step back.

"What's this?" he protested.

He tried to shake off the roots, but he was still weak. The roots thickened until he looked like he was wearing wooden boots.

"Stop this!" he shouted. "Your woodland magic is no match for a Titan!"

But the more he struggled, the faster the roots grew. They curled about his body, thickening and hardening into bark. His golden armor melted into the wood, becoming part of a large trunk.

Magnus was more grateful by the word he wasn't trying to gasp and splutter this out like he was having a stroke. He didn't know how he was ever supposed to go back up to the world and stare at a tree again without having a mental breakdown of what was inside it. A nature spirit? A Titan?!

The music continued. Hyperion's forces backed up in astonishment as their leader was absorbed. He stretched out his arms and they became branches, from which smaller branches shot out and grew leaves.

The tree grew taller and thicker, until only the Titan's face was visible in the middle of the trunk.

"You cannot imprison me!" he bellowed. "I am Hyperion! I am—"

The bark closed over his face.

Grover took his pipes from his mouth. "You are a very nice maple tree."

Magnus made a painful noise in the back of his throat like he was choking on a sob. He couldn't even eat pancakes again without being force-fed this moment by his brain!

The others just kind of sat there awkwardly with no clue what to say. Alex wished this was the weirdest thing she'd ever heard, but honestly, she was far more impressed. Maybe she'd have Grover teach her how to do this in secret though.

"Tell me about it man," Percy nodded in understanding, brushing the hair out of his eyes. It was only sweaty in his mind. At the time his hair had nearly been plastered to his scalp from being physically exhausted. Which was weird. Had the Styx opened up his pours extra wide so his now invincible muscles could sweat better- right later. "You think I ever saw this coming from the same skinny kid who used to get peanut butter and ketchup sandwiches stuck in his hair." He really appreciated Magnus at times like this, to remind himself his mom would probably be freaking out the same way if she ever heard all the crazy stuff he got up to and why he was doing this, to keep the rest of the world alive. Not just the adrenaline rush of beating up this jerk. That was just a bonus.

Magnus nodded and decided not to try verbalizing how insane this was. He really, really just wanted out of this place, to sit under a tree again until he had no choice but to relax and feel something was normal.

Several of the other satyrs passed out from exhaustion, but they'd done their job well. 

Jason would have prayed to any god he thought was bothering to listen for guidance on why he felt a connection to that, why he could taste those words on his own tongue, but he also felt not to deep down it would be a lost cause. More like a habit he wanted to fulfill, like fiddling with his coin or eating at a certain time every day. Something about the fight Percy just had with Hyperion had been so familiar, yet so disconnected...

And looking around the room he suddenly knew exactly why. He hadn't had backup. With whatever fight he'd once similarly endured. He'd likely been the driving force, just like Percy, but nobody had come to his aid to help him defeat that dude with Ram's horns.

He had no evidence for this, no real fact to back it up from his mind. Just his gut.

It made him feel a disconnect from what he was hearing like he hadn't felt since Dionysus was first shown sloshing it up around Camp.

The Titan lord was completely encased in an enormous maple. The trunk was at least twenty feet in diameter, with branches as tall as any in the park. The tree might've stood there for centuries.

Alex had to stop and catch her breath from excitement. Gods, the magic in their blood, the feats they could achieve, and none of them were prancing around with godly might to do it! She wished she could rip her pants off and run around in a field of satyrs!

The Titan's army started to retreat. A cheer went up from the Athena cabin, but our victory was short-lived.

Because just then Kronos unleashed his surprise.

"What, could possibly be worse, than that?" Magnus asked, voice cracking on every other word.

Alex gave him a sad look and decided not to ask if he wanted the book back. He'd clearly forgotten the chapter title. No flying pigs had shown up yet. She now expected an army of them, all possibly able to shoot laser eyes and likely with roosters steering them dropping golden eggs and maybe even a few mad cows too if Kronos got creative.

"REEEEET!"

The squeal echoed through upper Manhattan. Demigods and monsters alike froze in terror.

Grover shot me a panicked look. "Why does that sound like . . . It can't be!"

"Deja vu," Thalia shivered in remembrance. She'd smelled fresh pine in her nose and backed away in terror from a steep gorge, snow crunching under her boots only in her mind as she'd looked wildly around. She'd gotten a good whack across the face by a frost giant for her distraction that had sent her into the nearest tree.

I knew what he was thinking. Two years ago we'd gotten a "gift" from Pan—a huge boar that carried us across the Southwest (after it tried to kill us).

Nico tapped his chin for a moment before telling Will, "he's still doing it too. That just sums up a gods gift so well."

"Percy's out here making the rest of us look like we're all just along for the ride," Will chuckled. Annabeth and Thalia gave halfhearted laughs, leaving Jason and Alex to exchange a look and know they were missing something. Magnus was still having a mental meltdown about every tree he'd ever pass to realize they'd moved onto a new trama.

The boar had a similar squeal, but what we were hearing now seemed higher pitched, shriller, almost like . . . like if the boar had an angry girlfriend.

"I'm now imagining the Minotaur's angry boyfriend seeking revenge on you someday too though," Alex nodded to herself. "You've opened up a door here Perce you probably shouldn't have."

Percy swore to himself that if Alex continued this line of thought for one more word he'd take Magnus into another room and they'd have the most boring, normal conversation in the history of ever just for a real break from this insanity. They'd talk about drywall, their favorite colors! Any mundane topic he could think up! Mercifully, Annabeth stepped in and kept her focus where it needed to be while the two exchanged one last look, knowing this wasn't going to get better any time soon.

"REEEEEET!" A huge pink creature soared over the reservoir—a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade nightmare blimp with wings.

"The fact that this thing would look out of place next to Goku and Pikachu is kind of hurting my brain too though," Annabeth nodded.

"I'm pretty confident there is a pink pig anime somewhere out there actually, even if it isn't household name worthy," Percy shrugged.

"A sow!" Annabeth cried. "Take cover!"

The demigods scattered as the winged lady pig swooped down. Her wings were pink like a flamingo's, which matched her skin beautifully, but it was hard to think of her as cute when her hooves slammed into the ground, barely missing one of Annabeth's siblings. The pig stomped around and tore down half an acre of trees, belching a cloud of noxious gas. Then it took off again, circling around for another strike.

"Yep. That is a, flying pig alright," Will said with the slow confidence of a farmer on a hot day promising you didn't want to eat the beans.

"I'm just happy it really wasn't me, I was kind of worried I got turned into one," Percy nodded.

"Don't tell me that thing is from Greek mythology," I complained.

"Afraid so," Annabeth said. "The Clazmonian Sow. It terrorized Greek towns back in the day."

"Let me guess," I said. "Hercules beat it."

"Nope," Annabeth said. "As far as I know, no hero has ever beaten it."

"Awesome!" Alex cheered. "Percy's finally going to get immortalized for something cool!"

"Helping put a Titan in a tree wasn't cool?" Percy looked a little pouty. "I mean, I'm pretty sure Hercules didn't do that either."

"I'll put that on a t-shirt for you and Grover," Alex agreed, "but this! Someday some kids going to say, how did Percy beat this thing? That's cool!"

"Yeah," Percy found himself grinning in agreement without hesitation now. It did sound kind of cool when she put it that way. Maybe he should consider writing one of those kids books they were always mocking him about.

"Perfect," I muttered.

The Titan's army was recovering from its shock. I guess they realized the pig wasn't after them.

"Sounds about right," Jason nodded. Kronos wouldn't warn his own forces about his attacks.

We only had seconds before they were ready to fight, and our forces were still in a panic. Every time the sow belched, Grover's nature spirits yelped and faded back into their trees.

"That pig has to go." I grabbed a grappling hook from one of Annabeth's siblings. "I'll take care of it. You guys hold the rest of the enemy. Push them back!"

"But, Percy," Grover said, "what if we can't?"

I saw how tired he was. The magic had really drained him. Annabeth didn't look much better from fighting with a bad shoulder wound. I didn't know how the Hunters were doing, but the right flank of the enemy army was now between them and us.

I didn't want to leave my friends in such bad shape, but that sow was the biggest threat. It would destroy everything: buildings, trees, sleeping mortals. It had to be stopped.

"Retreat if you need to," I said. "Just slow them down. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Jason tried to shake off his lingering sense of his lost life and smile all the same at Percy always somehow saying the right thing. Those felt like the confident words of a leader, competently delegating. It was jarring, but always in a nice way to find himself making mental notes of Percy's prowess in battle.

Before I could change my mind, I swung the grappling hook like a lasso. When the sow came down for its next pass, I threw with all my strength. The hook wrapped around the base of the pig's wing. It squealed in rage and veered off, yanking the rope and me into the sky.

"Jeezus, and your arms weren't just taken along without you!" Magnus yelped, finally another coherent thought coming to mind and it was the usual, how was this guy alive?

Percy rotated his shoulder and grinned at Annabeth. "I mean, I wasn't going for sympathy pain, but-"

She smacked him and called him a seaweed brain. Alex took the silent opportunity to offer the book back to Magnus if he wanted it. He swallowed and did take it back.

He'd adjust, he kept telling himself. To every weird, insane, and crazy thing that kept happening in Annabeth and Percy's life. He'd keep walking through it until he came out the other side, again. He somehow made the best friends that way.

If you're heading downtown from Central Park, my advice is to take the subway. Flying pigs are faster, but way more dangerous.

"Even while on a death ride through his city we can't get this guy to say a bad thing about New York," Thalia said, her voice laced with misery for this sickening mental image she was being put through. Gods she wished she'd gone without details of this!

Jason swiftly jumped in as he gave Percy a stern look, "you'll only grow stronger if you admit your faults! Say the subway smells, say you saw new piles of trash in the street you'd never noticed before, something!"

Percy thought about it for a moment before deciding, "the pink feathers made it look like someone was celebrating Valentine's Day at a really strange time of year."

"I give up," Jason sighed.

"Never took you for a quitter," Percy chuckled.

"I know when to be reasonable and draw the line," he sniffed.

"Yes, yes, you're both awesome in your own special way," Thalia sighed to cut them off. She had a feeling they planned on going like that until she said otherwise, since she was the one to start this interruption and was least likely to want this to continue. The faster this pig got turned into pork chops, the better.

The sow soared past the Plaza Hotel, straight into the canyon of Fifth Avenue. My brilliant plan was to climb the rope and get on the pig's back. Unfortunately I was too busy swinging around dodging streetlamps and the sides of buildings.

"One of Percy's brilliant plans finally has a flaw in it?" Nico raised a brow in mock shock.

"Maybe I'm learning and growing from my mistakes in the past, adapt, overcome, um, something else smart," Percy said with an awkward smile. He knew full well what Nico was really not saying in that. He hoped the guy knew he'd really never try to involve someone else in his crazy plans again, he'd been happy swinging to his death alone away from the rest of his friends...until he remembered he'd left them to deal with an army- and gods why couldn't Kronos have just kidnapped him and settled this on Neptune or something! He probably deserved being slammed into at least a few of those buildings!

Another thing I learned: it's one thing to climb a rope in gym class. It's a completely different thing to climb a rope attached to a moving pig's wing while you're flying at a hundred miles an hour.

Thalia was rubbing her knuckles into her sternum to try and convince her heart to keep beating at a normal pace. No matter how hard she dug, it wasn't doing the trick. The sickening rush of nausea just kept growing more powerful at the idea of those buildings flashing by so fast, with nothing beneath her feet...

It was so weird for Percy to not hear her mocking him about being better at something. He scrambled in his mind, wishing he could say something to her that would somehow make this bearable, but this seemed like one of those times where silence might have been the better answer since he couldn't dare her out of laughing from this situation.

We zigzagged along several blocks and continued south on Park Avenue.

Boss! Hey, boss! Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Blackjack speeding along next to us, darting back and forth to avoid the pig's wings.

"Watch out!" I told him.

"For, you?" Magnus asked blankly. Why was the flying horse showing up next to the flying pig the least crazy thing in this particular chapter of Percy's life?

"For the sow Magnus," Percy said not unkindly. "I don't know if horses are color blind, and he's probably not used to having other traffic in the sky aside from pigeons."

"That's- Percy, color blind doesn't mean-" but he stopped in exasperation when Percy just started laughing and Magnus grinned as he realized Percy had gotten what he wanted.

Hop on! Blackjack whinnied. I can catch you . . . probably.

"Such instilling confidence," Will groaned. It really did seem a miracle more every page how he wasn't a ghost haunting camp.

That wasn't very reassuring. Grand Central lay dead ahead. Above the main entrance stood the giant statue of Hermes, which I guess hadn't been activated because it was so high up. I was flying right toward him at the speed of demigod-smashing.

"Stay alert!" I told Blackjack. "I've got an idea."

Oh, I hate your ideas.

"Don't we all," Magnus said like that should be a universal truth.

"Nope, just you," Alex said brightly. To his horror, Annabeth sheepishly nodded. The others all kind of shrugged. Magnus missed the days when the homeless people had made him feel normal.

I swung outward with all my might. Instead of smashing into the Hermes statue, I whipped around it, circling the rope under its arms. I thought this would tether the pig, but I'd underestimated the momentum of a thirty-ton sow in flight.

"I don't think my mom could make those calculations," Annabeth muttered.

Just as the pig wrenched the statue loose from its pedestal, I let go. Hermes went for a ride, taking my place as the pig's passenger, and I free-fell toward the street.

"There's a metaphor somewhere not to deep in there about how Hermes treats his kids and cabin and junk," Alex said mostly to herself.

"One deep dive at a time, lets finish first with Percy and why he's not locked up for everybody's safety," Magnus shook his head.

In that split second I thought about the days when my mom used to work at the Grand Central candy shop. I thought how bad it would be if I ended up as a grease spot on the pavement.

Then a shadow swooped under me, and thump—I was on Blackjack's back. It wasn't the most comfortable landing. In fact, when I yelled "OW!" my voice was an octave higher than usual.

"I sounded like Blackjack when we first met," Percy groaned,* resisting every temptation in the world to clutch at himself now in that remembered pain. "Wouldn't be surprised if he called me a mare."

"Oh sweet revenge," Alex chuckled, confirming to Percy at least she'd be passing this along to his friend for future payback.

Sorry, boss, Blackjack murmured.

"No problem," I squeaked. "Follow that pig!"

The porker had taken a right at East 42nd and was flying back toward Fifth Avenue. When it flew above the rooftops, I could see fires here and there around the city. It looked like my friends were having a rough time. Kronos was attacking on several fronts. But at the moment, I had my own problems.

The Hermes statue was still on its leash. It kept bonking into buildings and spinning around. The pig swooped over an office building, and Hermes plowed into a water tower on the roof, blasting water and wood everywhere.

Then something occurred to me.

"Then it occurred to you?" Annabeth looked around at him in newly minted concern. Jason really did want to study how she kept managing to do that a refreshing new way each time. "Launching yourself at the statue wasn't even part of the initial goal?"

"I got lucky," Percy shrugged.

Annabeth groaned and the two started bickering again over what should even count as a full plan. She clearly wasn't taking well to the fact that Percy had taken off without one even in mind. Jason would have stolen Percy's pen and started scribbling notes on his arm if he would have thought it would do any good, hearing the two speak their mind like this, but Thalia finally interrupted with the reminder she'd turn the two of them into flying goats that gravity wouldn't defy if they didn't shut their trap.

"Get closer," I told Blackjack.

He whinnied in protest.

"Just within shouting distance," I said. "I need to talk to the statue."

Now I'm sure you've lost it, boss, Blackjack said,

"Honestly a fair assumption," Annabeth sighed one last time. She couldn't believe she was agreeing with a horse, yet another creature of Posideon. Percy had way to much influence on her life.

but he did what I asked. When I was close enough to see the statue's face clearly, I yelled, "Hello, Hermes! Command sequence: Daedalus Twenty-three. Kill Flying Pigs! Begin Activation!"

"What was so wrong with, defend city?" Annabeth couldn't stop herself arching a brow and demanding of him. "The pig was attacking the buildings of the city Percy."

"I was preoccupied!" He gestured at the book like she'd missed the enormous wild pink Pumba. "Being literal usually works best with me!"

"My wording was fine," she had to grumble anyways. No wonder she was still getting reports back from the city status were still running around! There was no logic to trace in them defending from flying pigs!

Immediately the statue moved its legs. It seemed confused to find that it was no longer on top of Grand Central Terminal. It was, instead, being given a sky-ride on the end of a rope by a large winged sow. It smashed through the side of a brick building, which I think made it a little mad. It shook its head and began to climb the rope.

Percy couldn't help another laugh. It wasn't him being smashed through buildings, it was Annabeth's genius plan to save his butt, it was Blackjack following him all these years like a loyal best friend that had gotten him this far. He really was just a piece of all this, and maybe that stupid prophecy constantly hanging over his head was just exaggerating everything.

I glanced down at the street. We were coming up on the main public library, with the big marble lions flanking the steps. Suddenly I had a weird thought: Could stone statues be automatons too? It seemed like a long shot, but . . .

"Faster!" I told Blackjack. "Get in front of the pig, Taunt him!"

Um, boss—

"Trust me," I said. "I can do this . . . probably."

Oh, sure. Mock the horse.

"Well we can't mock Percy right now when he's using the reflex part of his brain, arguably the best part," Alex said tragically.

"And I always said the food part of my brain was the most important," Percy chuckled.

Annabeth was to busy rolling her eyes and smiling to herself at the warm, loving feeling as she again reminded herself that he'd apparently remembered she existed before any food or reflex he might have had and probably wouldn't have butted into this one, but the two managed to taper themselves off from far to much practice of sniping and reading and repeating.

Blackjack burst through the air. He could fly pretty darned fast when he wanted to. He got in front of the pig, which now had a metal Hermes on its back.

Blackjack whinnied, You smell like ham! He kicked the pig in the snout with his back hooves and went into a steep dive. The pig screamed in rage and followed.

"Have I mentioned lately that Blackjack's the best?" Alex chuckled.

"No, you've been to busy praising Mrs. O'Leary," Percy said with a sly smile. "That's going to cost you a lot of donuts later dude."

"I'll take my punishment with dignity dudette," she chuckled.

Thalia was turning greener by the second and wished they'd stop mentioning food.

We barreled straight for the front steps of the library. Blackjack slowed down just enough for me to hop off, then he kept flying toward the main doors.

I yelled out, "Lions! Command sequence: Daedalus Twenty-three. Kill Flying Pigs! Begin Activation!"

The lions stood up and looked at me. They probably thought I was teasing them. But just then:

"REEEEEET!"

The massive pink pork monster landed with a thud, cracking the sidewalk. The lions stared at it, not believing their luck, and pounced. At the same time, a very beat-up Hermes statue leaped onto the pig's head and started banging it mercilessly with a caduceus. Those lions had some nasty claws.

I drew Riptide, but there wasn't much for me to do. The pig disintegrated before my eyes. I almost felt sorry for it. I hoped it got to meet the boar of its dreams down in Tartarus.

"Percy over here rooting for true love in the face of all this," Will grinned in delight.

"Yeah, I might be a secret sucker for those Hallmark movies," Percy chuckled. He'd seen his mom and Paul watching one to many to not believe the two monsters wouldn't work out their happy ending.

When the monster had completely turned to dust, the lions and the Hermes statue looked around in confusion.

"You can defend Manhattan now," I told them, but they didn't seem to hear. They went charging down Park Avenue, and I imagined they would keep looking for flying pigs until someone deactivated them.

"Where's the nearest meat packing plant out there?" Magnus asked in concern. "I'm imagining something horrible happening to them worse than the usual process."

Alex lit up like her butt had caught fire as she launched off with, "or maybe they're still out there, chasing down their dream of one last adventure, one last flying pig to defeat! That Hermes statue longs for his own identity and name and rebrands himself Semore, and names the two lions-"

"And Alex is cut off from caffeine permanently," Percy said in exhaustion. "Do to me what you must now while I can heal in the ocean."

Alex scoffed. "Please, you'd need ten energy drinks to get on my level."

Hey, boss, said Blackjack. Can we take a donut break?

I wiped the sweat off my brow.

"Wait, you can still sweat?" Jason asked in fascination. "I'd have thought the Styx sealed your pours shut or something."

"I wouldn't even be a mammal anymore," Percy said in mild concern as he stared at his arm. "That's right, right?" He looked around back at Jason for confirmation from an old PE class he hadn't paid attention to. "Mammals have hair, make milk, sweat to cool off?"

"Sure, I'm not an expert but I'll confirm," Jason snorted.

"I wish, big guy, but the fight's still going on."

In fact, I could hear it getting closer. My friends needed help. I jumped on Blackjack, and we flew north toward the sound of explosions.

This time when Magnus handed the book to Alex, he really let himself look at her so he could meet her eyes in a smile. Just a small moment of thanks she took in stride with a wink as they moved on to the next catastrophe.

PJOPJOPJOPJO

* This is in reference to TheRichmaster, who made the detailed comment about how Percy probably mistook Blackjack for a mare on the Andromeda for his voice being so shrill. I'm sad RR didn't make a callback joke to that, make it an old retcon. He really could just make a book with some character's side quest fixing old mistakes like that and it would be a new hit.

[landinrris]

Photographer!Lando WIP Snippet

Inadvertently came across an F1 challenge on ao3 that included a prompt about paddock photographer Lando and Ferrari driver Carlos and now I am running wild with it. It's almost 20k help Since I'm horrible at making short, consistent things, here I am sharing a snippet of them meeting for the first time

Lando had just been starting in the F3 paddock the last time Ferrari had seriously challenged for the title. It hadn’t ultimately gone well— a masterclass in disaster if Lando’s being honest. The way hope had slowly petered out, all but gone by July. Lando doesn’t know Carlos personally, but he’s followed his career through the years— had posters of him up on his bedroom wall and everything. He’s not too proud to admit that it’d be pretty cool to watch Carlos take Ferrari to their first championship in eighteen years. What a story that would make.

The Red Bulls aren’t too far behind him on Friday practice, his teammate back in third to his second after Saturday’s qualifying is all said and done.

It’s not like Charles doesn’t also deserve to be champion, Lando thinks, watching from the castle as he’s practically on top of Carlos through the tricky corners. But there’s a part of Carlos that screams he’s done waiting, and compared to the two DNFs Charles has already had with another fifth place in Australia, he’s further back in the points already.

Carlos has been walking around with careful confidence every time Lando sees him, like he can’t quite believe it’s been going so well.

And Lando’s not a stranger as to the other reason he’d love for Carlos to win.

It starts with a cr and ends with an ush. Seeing Carlos know he’s leading even early on in the season has been doing wonders for Lando’s infatuation. While he’s not one of the photographers who wait around for the drivers arriving at the paddock each day, he’s half tempted to hang around to get some of Carlos.

Lando’s sitting with his camera in the old city complex around halfway through the race when one of the nearby marshals reaches for their yellow flag. A second later, he sees a distinctly red Ferrari come around the corner going much slower than it should be even given the area it’s in. The distinct 55 becomes clearer not too long after.

One of the marshals rushes up to Lando, ushering him away from the escape road that Carlos is trying to direct his car towards. Lando moves, numb and disappointed as the broadcast feed in his ears finally acknowledges Carlos’ impending DNF.

He’s supposed to be neutral, and he is for the most part. It’s just that Carlos had been comfortably in the lead after jumping Checo at the start and now he’ll walk away from the weekend without any points.

This is how it starts.

Carlos jumps from the car once it’s safely off track and marches behind the barriers. They’ve never spoken, but Lando can read the tension in his shoulders from ten feet away. He’s stuck standing still as some of the nearby photographers turn to capture Carlos’ annoyance. Lando can’t bring himself to raise his lens in Carlos’ direction and instead turns back to the track. Carlos is undoubtedly not in the mood.

The old city usually provides good vantage points to capture the cars as they come through, but bunched up behind the safety car while the tractor pulls Carlos’ car behind the barriers is even better. A nineteen-car squirming snake.

The other photographers wander off after a handful of shots leaving Lando to believe that Carlos has mounted whatever scooter of shame they have for him back to the paddock. He’ll probably want to go punch something.

When Lando turns around after all the cars have cycled past though, a shock of red sitting with his back against the barrier without a helmet on, greets him. Lando only feels slightly guilty for thinking Carlos looks hot when he’s sad. The sight of Carlos sitting there, legs bent and hands dangling atop his knees, takes Lando’s breath away.

He should focus on the race, maybe move to a new location as the safety car comes in and the race goes green again. Instead, all Lando does is open his big mouth in the most embarrassing way.

“So, come here often?” It’s not overly loud, but with the lull in noise and Carlos close by, of course he hears it.

Carlos cracks open an eye and shifts his head level with Lando. “That is the best you could come up with?” It’s not overly nasty, but the element of unimpressed is definitely there that has Lando cringing internally.

“I mean, unless you’d rather me ask if you’re okay? And clearly you are, physically. Mentally, you’re probably kicking yourself. Points opportunity gone and everything when you know you need every one you can get.” Carlos is staring at Lando dead-eyed when Lando’s brain finally cooperates and slots its filter back in place.

“Are you finished?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

The tell-tale roar of engines making their way down the straight pulls Lando’s attention back to the track.

God, he’s such a moron. Out of all times for his filter to up and disappear, of course it happens while meeting one of the hottest people he’s ever seen. All while clad in the billowy white and purple mesh photographer vest he’s made to wear. Carlos probably thinks he’s some piece of shit who thinks he’s right about everything.

Checo’s leading when the cars snake past them but the only noise that lingers once they pass is his own self screaming wanker inside his head over and over.

“I haven’t seen you before, I think.” Carlos unexpectedly speaks nearly in conjunction with Lando’s finger lifting from the shutter.

Lando carefully holds himself still, trying to evoke an air of uncaring rather than one of eagerness to please. “Uh, no. This is my first season in the F1 paddock. Been with F2 and F3 since 2019 though. I’m Lando— Norris. Lando Norris.” He would hold his hand out for Carlos to shake if they weren’t awkwardly far apart and Lando was sure Carlos wouldn’t punch him for speaking out of his ass.

Carlos doesn’t punch him though. He nods and turns his head to look over at the marshal standing at their post fifteen feet away. “Tell me, Lando Norris, do you think this will cost me in a few months?”

Lando should say no, especially after shoving his foot in his mouth earlier. “It’s not gonna make it easier,” he says. God. “I mean— it’s not like I don’t think you can’t. I think if anyone could come back, it’s you. With like, consistency and all that. But the field is like, so close, you know? I should really stop talking.”

But Carlos is at least smiling at him this time like he’s enjoying watching Lando struggle to stop digging himself an ever deeper hole. He probably just needs to run and find a new photo spot where he won’t be at risk of talking to drivers who DNF.

“You think I’m consistent?” Carlos teases. Because that’s 100% what he’s doing, Lando can see it now. Proper smile and everything.

He points his camera at Carlos and takes a burst of shots in retaliation. They don’t deter Carlos’ grin.

“I mean, you beat your veteran teammate twice over the seasons since you’ve been at Ferrari, and then before when you were at McLaren even though you had shit luck. You know how to keep it in one piece.” Lando can feel how hot his face is and wonders if his blush is visible.

Carlos sighs. “I guess we will see, no? Where is Charles right now?”

The cars come roaring back up the hill and Lando counts fifth. Carlos seems mildly okay with that. Lando can only imagine how quickly Ferrari would switch allegiances if Carlos’ performance fell off. At least Lando can offer some reassurance.

One of the Haases clips a corner and gets some spectacular front axle damage a few laps later. Carlos takes that as his cue to push himself up and make his way back down to the paddock. Part of Lando is morose to see him go even though he definitely needs to move as well to get some variety in what he sends off later.

“I will see you around?” Carlos asks as he picks his helmet off the ground.

Lando flashes him a smile. “I’ll be here as long as they let me. Hopefully next time you’ll be back up on that podium.” And then Carlos is trudging back in the direction of the pits. Lando gives Carlos a few minutes before setting off in the same direction. Better to be closer to the podium at this stage in the race than farther away.

Lando doesn’t see Carlos again for the remainder of the afternoon. When he’s editing his photos later as the paddock begins to clear and the champagne has dried, he comes across the ones he quickly took of Carlos. They stop him in his tracks.

The photographers who had swarmed him after getting out of the car and sitting down on the ground all got photos of Carlos at his most vulnerable. Lando’s sure they look like he’s about to cry or scream or maybe both. They’ll use them to paint pictures of defeat and concern over Carlos’ championship chances— the likelihood of continuing with a DNF under his belt.

Lando’s photo shows the opposite. There’s a hint of a smile on his face as he sits on the ground looking in Lando’s direction. It doesn’t speak of dashed championship hopes, but rather fortified determination. That a DNF isn’t the end of the world, nor does Carlos think so.

He spends a few minutes correcting the balances and then opens Instagram. Carlos is one of those longstanding drivers Lando’s followed practically since he signed up for an account. He’s sure Carlos gets overwhelming numbers of DMs on a regular basis, but Lando has no other way of contacting him and he wants Carlos to have the photos.

The way his gut jumps when Carlos not only opens the message but replies with a short message of gratitude, should be embarrassing. Like a fucking teenager. And then Carlos honest to God posts them, crediting Lando’s page.

Lando tries not to feel guilty when he goes back to the hotel later and pulls up Pornhub on his phone. Dark-haired and dark-eyed guys aren’t solely reminiscent of Carlos. He’s totally normal and within his rights.

Nothing to worry about.