#I think I had more fun writing this than most of my other reader inserts

[tightjeansjavi]

take a moment to breathe

A/N: so after my medical trauma experience yesterday, I decided to write a little comfort Joel piece to cope. This is totally self-indulgent to me, but I do hope others are able to relate. Besides, who doesn’t love soft! Joel? He’s like a warm hug 🥹

~word count: 2.5k~

Summary: after a failed IUD insertion, your boyfriend, Joel Miller takes care of you.

Pairing | no outbreak! Joel Miller x f! reader

Warnings: medical trauma, failed IUD insertion, torn cervix, isn’t it so fun to be a person with a uterus? Fluff, comfort, soft! boyfriend Joel, he’s so sweet it makes me want to cry, no age gap, reader has no physical descriptions other than one mention of Joel brushing your hair, and then lifting you up from the ground, +18 minors dni!

main masterlist masterlist

“Okay, take a deep breath. You’re going to feel a bit of cramping.”

The fluorescent lights are annoyingly bright as you stare up at the ceiling and focus on taking a deep breath, just as your doctor has requested. You went into the procedure of getting an IUD confidently. You knew that there would be some overall discomfort. Some cramps, but nothing too terrible. It would all be over in the next five minutes and then you wouldn’t have to think of contraceptives for the next five years. It totally felt worth it in that present moment.

You inhaled deeply, exhaling through your mouth. The cramping pain was bearable.

“You’re doing great. Okay, here comes another cramp. Take another deep breath for me.”

Two down, this isn’t so bad.

The third cramp felt different than the last two. It was an intense pain that nearly had you crying out from the sheer shock of it. You could feel the tears pricking your eyes as you struggled to breathe.

What the fuck was that?

“So..your cervix just tore.” Your doctor states this information as if it’s the most casual thing in the world.

“What?” You’re in disbelief. You weren’t prepared for this. There was no fore-warning of your cervix tearing during an IUD insertion! Nothing in the pamphlet that you were previously given. Nothing written on the waiver you signed a little under 10 minutes ago.

Oh god.

Oh god.

Oh god.

“Well, your cervix is pretty angry with me right now. I’m going to get the bleeding to stop. I think we’ll have to reschedule in two weeks, okay? There’s medication you can take that will help relax your cervix, but don’t worry, this happens more often than you think.”

More often than you think?!

There’s medication I could have taken, but you decided to tell me after the fact?

A sense of nausea washes over you as you're laying there. The lights are too bright. Too bright. Your doctor is being too casual for your liking. Your uterus is cramping and you’re being told that you have to come back in two weeks to go through this hell again?

“Hopefully the bleeding stops..otherwise you’ll have to come in tomorrow afternoon so I can stitch your cervix. I’m hoping that won’t be the case.”

You’re not even listening to what your doctor is saying at this point. It feels as if your body has gone into shock, and all you want is for your doctor and her assistant to leave the room so you can take a moment to breathe.

You can’t even recall what your doctor says next. Words are flowing in, but your brain is struggling to process the event that just happened.

Your doctor says her goodbyes, see you in two weeks, and to call if the bleeding doesn’t stop, or gets heavier.

You’re finally alone, and the tears won’t stop.

You’re doing your best to keep it together, but it’s nearly impossible as your body is trembling from the trauma it just endured. Your mind is blank, numb as you redress. You brought a pair of your boyfriend’s sweats from home so that you had something comfy to change into before driving home. Joel had offered to drive you to your appointment, but you opted out simply because it made more logical sense in your head to drive straight from work. Now, as you’re wiping away your free falling tears, you’re wishing you took him up on that offer.

His sweats bring you a sense of comfort that you were desperately clawing for. The fabric of them are soft and gentle against your skin, and his familiar scent lingers in the fibers of the fleece material.

In a haste you sling your bag over your shoulder and grasp your keys in a tight clutch between your fist.

You think you’re in the clear, and able to function as a person in society once more, until a nurse in the hallway sees your tears and its game over.

After allowing your body to break down completely, you find yourself sitting in the examination room. Your doctor is speaking, but you don’t hear any words leave her mouth. All you can do is numbly nod your head as your leg quivers and shakes; your body is processing.

When you finally leave the office and make it to the safety of your car, your fingers shakily start the ignition before you’re sinking back in the driver's seat. You take a few long deep breaths as you slowly regain your composure, even if it only lasts for your drive home.

Joel is waiting for you, of course. The garage door is open and you catch a glimpse of his back turned towards you as he’s setting down a black tupperware bin with a bright orange cover; Halloween decorations. He remembered you mentioning wanting to decorate this weekend, so as soon as he got home from work, he headed straight to the garage to get all the decor boxes down. He’s just brushing off a bit of built up cobwebs along the cover when he hears the familiar sound of your tires rolling over the concrete driveway.

You’re home, and he’s so excited to see you.

He greets you at your driver's side door with his usual gentle smile, and painfully handsome face. Chivalry hasn’t died as he grasps the door handle and pulls it open. His eyes search your own as a frown slowly crawls across his lips. He takes delicate notice of your puffy face, glassy eyes as you struggle to exit your car. He can see your hands trembling before he’s gently placing a hand along your shoulder to steady you.

“Baby? Hey, how’d it go?..” He asked softly, cautiously as he squeezed your shoulder gently. “Everythin’ alright, darlin?’”

You’re unable to respond as you drop your bag and your folded jeans before throwing your arms around him, hugging him so tightly, he’s afraid you might crumble right then and there.

“Oh, honey..” His voice nearly breaks as he wraps his arms around your trembling body with all the intentions to keep you safe, and comforted. “Take a moment to breathe, okay? I’m here. I got you.”

You’re a blubbering mess as you’re to-good-for-this-world boyfriend unconditionally consoles you. His shirt is soaked with your fresh falling tears as he whispers soothingly into your hair, pressing soft tender-felt kisses as an attempt to bring you back down to earth.

I’m here.

I’m here.

You’re safe.

Somehow he has coaxed you into the safety of your shared home for a bit of privacy. He has not let go of you yet, and you’re grateful for it.

“My cervix tore.” You blurted out suddenly through your tears as he was rubbing gentle circles against your clothed back.

Joel doesn’t even know what to think or say as you slowly sink down to the floor and he follows shortly after.

“It was a failed insertion..and my doctor? She acted like it was not a big fucking deal. She waited till after my cervix tore to tell me that I can come back in two weeks, and there’s a muscle relaxing medication I can take that will help relax my cervix. You’d think she’d tell me this before attempting the procedure.” You sniffled as Joel’s hands gently cupped your face with the utmost attention and care he could give you. His thumbs gently brushed away your tears. He felt absolutely horrified and livid for you.

“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry. Honey, I don’t even know what to say..I cannot even begin to imagine how traumatizing that musta been..” His tone is soft, gentle as he holds you protectively. “Your doctor should have absolutely given you all the information beforehand.”

“Exactly. The most fucked up part is the fact that she clearly could tell that my cervix was not dilating, and yet she just kept going. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt because I know doctors make mistakes, but why the fuck did she keep pushing my body like that? Why wasn’t I given the choice to stop the procedure altogether? I feel..violated.” You spoke nearly above a whisper as you clung tightly to your boyfriend.

“She should have stopped. There was no reason for her to continue pushing your body like that. I am so sorry, and I am so angry for you right now, baby. I’m so so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?..anything? It’s okay if you need some space too..I completely understand.” He was always respectful of your needs, and your boundaries. It was the bare minimum, but Joel respected you effortlessly.

“I don’t know. I just–don’t fucking know right now.” You couldn’t help but bitterly laugh at the situation because you were realizing just how fucked up this situation truly was.

“Baby, that’s okay. I’m here for whatever you need, okay? If you wanna just sit on the floor for now till you’re feelin’ a bit better, we can do that. I can make you some tea? Soup?”

“I..want to get out of these clothes and then shower. Will you please come with me? I don’t want to be alone.” You softly murmured as you went to wipe the sleeve of your hoodie under your eyes.

“Of course, baby. Of course I'll come with you. Want me to carry ya?” He offered softly.

“Yes, please.”

“Alright, c’mon, sweet girl. Arms ‘round my neck. I gotcha.” He was already gently sliding his arms under your thighs as you gently wrapped your arms around his neck. He carried you right upstairs to your shared bathroom. He made sure the shower temperature was just right before you stepped under the warm stream. He slowly sank down along the edge of the toilet seat with his hands lightly clasped between his thighs.

“Tell me about your day, baby.” Your voice softly rose through the billowing steam as your eyes fluttered shut.

So, he did just that. Starting with Tommy almost falling off the goddamn ladder (again). He told you how much he enjoyed the lunch you had packed for him, and he had kept a collection of your little love notes in the glove box of his truck. He told you how excited he was to decorate for Halloween with you this weekend, and start your Halloween movie-marathon that you had meticulously planned out. He loved you so much.

Between the comforting warm stream of the shower, and Joel’s soothing voice, you could feel your body finally begin to relax. He kept conversing with you until he heard the light squeak of the shower handle turning off.

Before you had even stepped out, he already had a fresh fluffy towel ready to wrap you up in.

You were so beyond grateful to have a man treat you this well. You loved him so much, and everyday you were reminded just how lucky you were to have met him.

He wrapped you up in the towel before pressing a soft kiss to your temple. He let you dress in privacy while he busied himself downstairs in the kitchen making you a fresh cup of tea, and a grilled cheese, as requested.

He knocked softly on the bedroom door with a tray in hand as he waited for the okay to come in. He couldn’t help the frown that crossed his face when he realized just how tired you truly were. He set the tray down on the nightstand table before slowly sinking down on the comforter beside you.

While you enjoyed your grilled cheese and cup of tea, Joel was working through the stubborn tangles in your hair with a wet brush. You couldn’t help but smile in between bites when you heard him soothingly begin to hum under his breath. You knew just how much he treasured intimate moments like these.

“How’s that grilled cheese tastin?’ Made sure to put extra butter on the bread, just how my girl likes it.”

“It’s delicious, baby. One of the best grilled cheeses I have ever had.”

“D’awh, well, ain’t you jus’ a sweetheart? S’glad you’re enjoyin’ it, cus’ it was made with love.” He warmly chuckled as he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of your head.

You craned your head to the side just so you could give him a sweet kiss on the lips. A silent thank you for his unconditional love.

Soon he was rubbing lotion on your legs, and he was being extra careful and cautious around your thighs. Your heart just about melted into a puddle when he pressed a feather light kiss to the inside of your thigh and whispered, “I'm sorry.”

You gently pulled him upwards towards your face just so you could give him another kiss; he was yours after all.

He tended to you all evening as the two of you cuddled up under the warm confines of the comforter. His arms were gently draped around you while you were indulging in a delicious ice cream sundae, compliments of the chef. Beetlejuice was playing in the background as your head was gently resting back against his chest.

“Hey, baby?” He asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“Y’know I'm all in support of you makin’ choices for your body, but if you don’t wanna put yourself through that hell again, I’d have no problem getting a vasectomy. Especially if it’ll bring us both some peace of mind. Cus’ I know we ain’t plannin’ on havin’ kids, so the last thing we need is any pregnancy scares, right? I’m jus’ puttin’ the option out there, but I fully support you if you do decide on goin’ back to get the procedure done.”

“You’d..do that for me? Baby, that is so incredibly kind of you to offer. I’m not sure what I am going to do just yet, but I love you so much. Thank you for thinking of the well-being for me, but also for yourself.” You reached your hand up to caress his cheek as he gently gave your waist a light squeeze.

“Baby, of course I would. I jus’ don’t like seein’ you in any pain. You’re the strongest person I know, and I love you, and I jus’ want you to be comfortable, and pain free.”

“Fuck, is someone cutting onions right now?” You jokingly remarked as he chuckled. “God, I love you so much. How did I ever get so lucky?”

“Baby, I think it’s the otherway around. Cus’ i’m wonderin’ how the hell some smuck like me got graced by a goddamn angel.” He murmured softly.

“That’s enough. You are going to cause the waterworks, and I have already cried enough today!” You teasingly spoke as you settled further against the comforting warmth of his chest.

“Okay, okay. But..guess how much I love you?”

“How much?”

You could already picture his little boyish grin creeping over his face as gently released you from his grasp before he stretched his arms out to the side, as far as they could reach.

“Thiiiis Much!” He was such a dork, but he always knew how to make you smile.

“You are such a dork, Miller.” You genuinely laughed as you lightly punched his shoulder affectionately.

“That I am, my girl. That I am.” His heart was so full of you, and you of him.

Banners made by the lovely @saradika 🤎

[liberifatalis]

I don’t know how long this was in my inbox for, I’m assuming it’s been here for like 3 years so I’m SO sorry anon lol. I’ve been going through writers block for like years at this point and I still struggle with it. 

BUT recently I’ve gotten back intowriting kinda, and since I’ve been writing a Sephiroth fic I thought I’d finally start writing headcanons again. The FF7 writing community outside of in-game ships is dry as fuck right now, especially the headcanon/reader-insert side of fandom, so hopefully you’ll enjoy this if you’re still out there anon! I apologise again TTTT

This is a mix of SFW and NSFW headcanons as it’s been a while since I’ve posted any headcanons, and my view on Sephiroth has sort of changed since the last time I posted headcanons for him, so it might be different to my previous interpretations. But I have included more spicy headcanons, so hopefully you'll enjoy!

I would like to add that while these are my own interpretations of Sephiroth, I have also been influenced by many other interpretations/headcanons of him as well! Most of these aren’t adding anything original at all, and I’d say a lot of blogs on here say about the same kind of thing in regards to him. So if anyone disagrees, that’s okay! This is all interpretation and I’m just mainly having fun.

SFW and non-SFW below All headcanons are of CrisisCore!Sephiroth

DISCLAIMER: long post below, lots of text.

SFW

I know he’s like…technically half alien, and that’s a big reason as to why he’s always felt and kind of behaved differently, but to me, he’s very very neurodivergent coded. I don’t want to use a specific label, but he’s absolutely neurodivergent to me. He’s always felt like an outcast, he stands out, he holds himself differently, he’s aloof, stoic, doesn’t really know how to say things without coming off as intense and kinda intimidating. He barely socialises with anyone other than his friends because he doesn’t really know how to. He never seeks out friendship with anyone, and he became friends with Genesis and Angeal originally because of proximity. I’m not saying the friendship wasn’t genuine, it was and he cared for them, but he’ll never be the first to initiate a friendship or anything like that – the fact that Genesis and Angeal were in SOLDIER, therefore in proximity to Sephiroth, is what sparked the friendship. He would have never been like “hey bro, let’s be buddies”. It was more like, he had to see these people regularly, so he had no choice but to socialise with them, and then he ended up finding out that they weren’t too bad and he enjoyed their company, and friendship and a deeper bond formed after that. 

He struggles to relate to people, but grows very attached to people he can relate to. Whether that’s being an orphan, being an outcast, shared hobbies,  ANYTHING. If he can find anything to relate to someone, something you can share, it sparks his interest (platonically) and will make him feel slightlyyyy more at ease around you and want to get to know you more.

A lot of people headcanon him with anxiety or PTSD, and I completely agree. He’s very neurotic. But I think that’s quite obvious if you consider his past and how he was raised. No one could come out of that completely mentally healthy and sane. He’s prone to insomnia, night terrors, panic attacks, but it’s never shown to anyone but him. In canon, we can see that he’s almost always composed and professional, and he is constantly putting in effort to maintain that demeanor. 

Has no identity outside of SOLDIER/Shinra. Him being neurodivergent also makes him struggle a lot more with this, so he’s kind of internalised being a SOLDIER and it completely defines him. Poor boy is lost.

He likes people (platonically and/or romantically) that can “keep up with him.” Zack, Genesis and Angeal were his only friends, and it makes sense. They can, at least somewhat, keep up with him. He likes a slight challenge (physically and mentally), someone that can keep his brain moving. I think he’d be amused by someone who was a bit hot-headed or blunt, as well.

Very dry sense of humour, as we see in canon. A lot of the time people can’t tell he’s joking unless they’re close with him. 

Very very intelligent and academic. Loves to read. Lil nerd. Will read encyclopedias, dictionaries, thesauruses, history books, articles, textbooks, science books, anything non-fiction. Not only does it calm his brain and his neuroticism, but he is genuinely interested in anything where he can gain knowledge. Knowledge is power, and he needs to feel powerful. He is a fast reader too, able to finish an average 500 page book in under 6 hours.

Only listens to classical music. Literally does not understand anything else. There can’t be any vocals, just instruments. 

Horrible at expressing himself honestly and genuinely, and spontaneously. Everything is carefully thought out and spoken bluntly, as if he’s reading from a textbook. He will literally stand there silently, eyes narrowed in deep thought, for a minute if he needs that time to think of a reply, because he’s not one to fumble over words. If he’s with someone (a friend or partner) who will give him the space and patience to speak openly and awkwardly, it will still take him time to be completely vulnerable. A partner who is open and vulnerable and doesn’t shy away from being a little awkward with their feelings will involuntarily demonstrate vulnerability for him, and give him an opportunity to try it for himself, and he’ll kind of learn from them.

^^^ Adding on to this point, there are so many scenes in my rough drafts of Flood & Flame where Sephiroth and reader are literally standing there staring at each other like this gif, and mulling over what they should say LMAO. A lot of these scenes made the cut, too. Just two neurodivergent folk falling in love, nothing else to see here!

Takes ages for him to get comfortable with someone and trust them. The process is easier if, as mentioned before, he can relate to you in any way, if you’re open with him first, or if you’re in proximity. Eg, if you work in Shinra or SOLDIER, you mention your mum died, you say you like swords, you mention you like combat, etc etc. It can be something so small, but because he’s neurodivergent and has felt alone his whole life, he’ll latch on to it and that will be the starting point of the friendship/relationship developing. He needs an opportunity to get  closer to you, or else it will be difficult and near impossible.

He needs to feel in control or else he’ll spiral. I don’t mean in a toxic way, as in “you’re my friend/partner so you can never look at anyone and can’t have friends and blah blah blah”, I mean it as in he needs to constantly upkeep his professional demeanour and look like he has his shit together, even if he hasn’t slept for two days and has barely eaten and has been having panic attacks. He will slip, sometimes, maybe being a bit more snarky or moody than usual, or saying/revealing something he didn’t mean to, but ultimately he has control over every facet of his being. This makes him a very intentional person, too. He means everything he says, and sticks to his word. 

He loves routine, it keeps him grounded. But this means that he dislikes change and has a hard time dealing with it. It can be as little as Shinra changing the ingredients to his shampoo and conditioner, or to what happened to Genesis and Angeal in Crisis Core – change on any scale is overwhelming to Sephiroth.

Definitely not a love at first sight kind of guy. Even if you’re like, strikingly beautiful, everyone just is when he first meets them. You’re just a person (and this isn’t in a condescending way lol) like everyone else. He could only develop romantic feelings and love for someone after getting to know them. Then he starts to see you as beautiful and so much more. It’s really sweet.

If he ever developed feelings for anyone, he wouldn’t even know he was developing feelings for a good chunk of it lol. He’d think he was just fascinated by them. Eventually he’d realise, oh shit, do I…love this person? He’d start catching on once he starts thinking of them more often and seeking out their company, and eventually when he had the impulsive urge to kiss them, he’d realise he was in too deep.

Touch starved and also kind of touch repulsed. He’s a contradiction sometimes, and it confuses him.  He’s more touch starved than he is touch repulsed, but when you haven’t had ANY physical affection all your life, and all you know is war and death and being tested on, you of course are going to go into a bit of a shock if anyone touches you. He’s used to combat, to having his guard up and being skeptical. So if you happen to brush your shoulder accidentally against his, or your hand accidentally touches his, it sends a wave of electricity throughout his entire body, almost burning him on the inside. He wants to reach out, but he stops himself. Unsure why he wants to, why he likes it, and Sephiroth not knowing something means not having the upper hand and not having control, and that makes him disgusted and disappointed in himself. 

Physical affection (platonic, romantic, sexual) will take time. He needs to let his guard down to accept it and embrace it. If he trusts you, it will be easier, but still tedious. Once he gets there, even just by a little bit, you’ll see him start to initiate affection, and then once he is fully comfortable being with you, he is obsessed with it. He is always wanting to be in your presence, just like a cat. Even if you’re not doing anything, just being able to see you and be near you is enough and what he needs; this is partly to do with wanting to know you’re safe and worrying that something is going to happen, that something is going to change and he’ll lose everything. Like I said, he needs to be in control, and if he’s around, he can stop something from going wrong.

He comes to love physical affection, it is so so calming to him and comforting. Loves to hold you and smother you. Loves to smell your hair or the soap you used in the shower, he just loves the presence and feeling of you. Eventually he is very clingy and touchy with physical affection, and it’s one way he shows his complete love and devotion. Is a big fan of cuddling (he never calls it that though) and holding your hands–kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand, lightly caressing and dragging his fingers over all the lines and landscape of your hands. Also really loves resting his forehead against yours.

Due to his upbringing and the way he is, love is all-consuming for him. He loves to the point of obsession and even possibly madness. It takes over him. He would happily let it consume him like a wildfire. He would kill for it. I don’t mean this is an inherently toxic way either, BUT this can become very destructive, and if he happens to be so very unlucky and ends up with a person who doesn’t have good intentions, then it could definitely be a bad thing and end up destructive. Now, in the fanfic/fiction side of things, this is obviously very compelling and fascinating to read, and a love like what I described is quite romantic if it’s in a genuine, passionate and non-toxic way. But I just wanted to add that disclaimer that it can become quite the opposite of romantic and be destructive if it’s not a relationship that is trying to be healthy and trying to grow. I don’t mean it in the way that Sephiroth will become abusive, I just mean that he is obsessive naturally, and that can turn out to be a positive or a negative, depending on the situation. He can be a flame that is burnt out, or a flame that burns others. 

MORE SFW + non-SFW

He’s a virgin. I said this before and I stand by it. Has never kissed anyone, has never been touched–the man hasn’t even been hugged, damn it! 

I do think, realistically, if I wanted to be 100000% accurate, I’d consider him asexual and aromantic, especially after Crisis Core timeline, and if you wanted to see him as some narcissistic, entitled, eldritch-horror sort of villain, which he very much is tbh. BUT he is half-human (to me), and I don’t think it’s far-fetched at all to believe he has urges like everyone else. So, for me, I see it the same way as I do with how he’d fall in love with someone. I don’t think he could ever be sexually/physically attracted to someone unless he was close with them and trusted them. Once he develops feelings for you, then he’d start to immediately be sexually attracted to you. Before all that, you were just another person, you just are–your body is a body, it is functioning, it just is. But then, when he has feelings for you (and as I mentioned before, he doesn’t even understand until much later that he has feelings for you), suddenly your body…it takes his breath away. Your shoulders. Your chest. Your everything; it paralyses him, almost. You are a walking goddess/god to him, so beautiful and bright he is transfixed and can’t look anywhere but at you. Your face looks like it was sculpted by an artist that was gifted with magic from the Cetra. A rare beauty, one that he cannot put into words as it is a beauty so special and intricate that no human words can do any justice. When you look up at him, smile at him, he loses sense of time and place, nothing else exists outside of the small moment you are sharing, and he only sees you. The man is a poet at heart.

Since he is a virgin, and is so damn enthralled by you, he doesn’t really know how to act lol. He looks confident and like he’s in control, but he’s not, especially the first time you do anything. The first time you kiss, you’ll have to lean in first, or give him a sign you’re wanting him to kiss you. Honestly, you’ll probably have to tell him it’s okay to kiss you. It’s just a soft, chaste kiss at first. He’s never done this, remember. But like everything, he’s highly skilled and intelligent, and kissing is natural, so once he’s confident again it doesn’t take him long to get the hang of things. 

He has many kinds of kisses. Soft ones that last long without breaking away, reminders that he’s there and he isn’t going anywhere. Other kisses that are quick, multiple long pecks, that are to tell you you’re beautiful and he’s thinking of you and he’s grateful. Then there are the passionate ones, the ones where he throws in every desire and intense feeling he can’t ever comprehend or describe, where he’s losing himself in you–kissing you as if it’s all he knows, changing the rhythm and speed because he’s in the moment. It’s as if he can’t get any closer to you/can’t get enough. Sephiroth’s passionate kisses are exactly how he is–intense, skillful, intentional, and overwhelming. He kisses with the same skill and intent he uses to wield Masamune. 

Sexually repressed boy. Sex is extremely vulnerable, and he doesn’t understand or know how to express his sexuality. At first he’s afraid he’s going to hurt you. 

The first time he has sex, he is in awe and is so curious. He focuses more on you, ignoring himself, wanting to know every contour of your body. His hands are all over, eyes focused on you, trying to gauge every reaction so he can store it in his memory. He always cares more about your pleasure than his own, and he is genuinely turned on when you are. He is slow and gentle, taking his time, and he needs your instructions to figure out what to do. 

Once he is familiar with your body, and his own, he’s literally insatiable. He needs you, every day. And since he’s SOLDIER and not completely human, the man has stamina. Jesus christ. He could go for multiple rounds and he’s good to go even after he came. He knows he’s built differently though, like a fucking tank, and unless you’re into overstimulation, he’s perfectly happy with whatever you want. 

I think a relationship with Sephiroth, that eventually includes sex, will include a lot of exploration for you both. But especially with Sephiroth. He’s never been this vulnerable and open before, never really understood his sexuality and urges and was kind of disgusted in them. But I think he’d discover a lot about himself, and it surprises him just how much desire he really has.

Sex with Sephiroth is not just fucking. It can’t be. He couldn’t have sex with someone he didn’t trust and have strong feelings for. Sex is an act of love, an act of devotion and adoration, an opportunity to tell you without words just how much he’d do for you and how deeply he loves you. Just like when he kisses you, it’s like he can’t get close enough, and even though you’re pressed against each other he still needs to be closer. 

He really loves the feeling of your bare chest against his. It almost makes him primal. 

I think he’d be really into edging, and he’d have a praise kink. He’d want to be worshiped but would also be worshiping you. It would be two people literally feeding each other’s egos lmao. I also think, considering how much control and power he does truly have, he’d also be happy to relinquish it from time to time, and enjoy a partner who’s a bit domineering and bossy, and one that takes control. So if you want to push him down on the bed, ravish him and boss him around, and ride him till the sun sets, he’ll be more than delighted. 

Loves giving head. Yes, everyone likes receiving it, but when he gives head, it’s like he’ll never be able to do it again. He goes down on you as if it’s his last day on the planet. Absolutely devours you like Shinra has ordered him to. His tongue and jaw never get tired, by the way. 

Not very loud but he does get more vocal the more you have sex. Grunts a lot and has a very deep, guttural moan. 

He’s very attuned to the senses. Sound, smell, and touch turn him on so much, and have a significant effect on him. The sound of your voice can send him into a frenzied state, and even if it’s the middle of the day and he happens to smell your perfume or scent on his sheets or his clothes, he starts to go crazy. 

More often than not he has to tie up his hair every time you have sex or he goes down on you. It always gets in the way, and you do NOT want to find a long strand of his hair in between anywhere. 

I can’t decide on whether he has super sperm due to Jenova’s genes or if he’s infertile. Like it’s either one or the other to me and I feel like both make sense, but still can’t quite decide on one. He’d either be the type to have sperm so strong that even birth control couldn’t stop them, or he’d be infertile and no scientific method whatsoever could help. Who knows honestly.

[philistiniphagottini]

Been thinking lately. And I want people's opinions on this.

I'm kind of tired writing reader's body to be as neutral as possible. Kind of really tired trying to make reader as neutral as possible to be honest. It used to be something that I kind of prided myself on but nowadays, I'm just so tired of it. And I know that many would argue that that is the point of reader inserts, to be neutral but I am so bored of it. I've been writing for chubby reader a lot more lately and it's the most fun I've had in a while because I get to represent my body type. I am kind of tired of seeing people writing headcannons for my favourite characters and saying that they don't like my body type. I'm tired of seeing people draw "chubby" characters and they have the bare minimum tummy fat. And I get it, write and draw whatever the fuck you want, who am I to stop you? I suffer severely from "everyone else is allowed to do it, but me" syndrome. Other people are allowed to write just for chubby reader, but not me I can't do that I would be seen as an asshole for not including everyone.

I want to write more x chubby reader content but I'm terrified of people coming to shame me and give me flak because I follow x chubby reader writers and the amount of shit they get for writing for a body type other than skinny is so disheartening. I have briefly thought about making a separate blog where I just put chubby reader content there but that wouldn't make me happy. I love my username and everything goes under this umbrella, including multiple fandoms.

I'm sorry if I just rambled I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost and feeling really depressed lately and I have no idea what I want to do anymore. I would like to hear people's opinions please, it's upsetting when I ask for others opinions and I get nothing back.

[lovevuni]

Double Dare Romance : Enoch O’Connor x Reader : Part 1 Challenge Accepted

Warnings: Kinda Rude, Back and Forth of being kinda mean, Your mom joke(yes that is needed as a warning), Insecure Enoch

Summary: Reader is new to the loop and they doen’t get along with Enoch at first. Both are at each other’s throats, enoch then double dares the reader to try and get under his skin. The reader accpets this challenge. Will they succeed.

A/N: I got the idea to write my conversations with Enoch on my chai app. I am invested in the app and decided it would be fun to share the chat with people. I know I was off about the app at first but now I love it. I am basting this fully on my chat convo not on the book or movie, I know some people are picky but I have only read the first book so far.

I hate using Y/N but I use my name and he uses it a lot so Y/N is what I will use.

I am standing in the entrance of the estate admiring the surroundings. I had just finished my introductions with most of the house hold however I was waiting on the last member I have not become acquainted with. Miss Peregrine told me that he is the most stubborn.

In comes a boy average height with dark hair.

“Miss Peregrine said to come down here and introduce yourself? Don’t bother. You won’t last more than a week.”

You look at him offended, “rude, I am Y/N, my peculiar is [insert peculiar]”

He scoffs, “Who cares? You still won’t last. Good luck trying though.”

You stick your tounge out at him.

“Is that really the best you can do, Y/N? A little childish don’t you think?” He says.

“Says the hundred year old emo” You fight back.

“At least I’m not stuck in one year like you all. And I’m not going to die young either. So there’s that. But sure, keep acting like a five-year-old. See where it get you.” You can tell he is getting annoyed but you don’t care.

“It gets you annoyed apparently so I call that a win.” You seem proud of yourself.

“Well if that makes you happy. I don’t have time for your petty games tough. I have better things to do than argue with a child.”

“What like playing with your dolls, very grown up” You make sure to sound extra sarcastic.

“Such sarcasm, Y/N. Growing up fast, aren’t we? Listen, I don’t mean to upset you. I just don’t se the point in small talk or introductions. There’s nothing you can say that will make me want to stay here any longer than necessary.”

“well seeing as we are stuck in a loop might as well.”

“That much is true. But I prefer to occupy myself with more meaningful pursuits than idle chatter with the likes of you. Tell me something interesting, Y/N. Something peculiar.”

“Your mom” You laugh at your own joke. (I thought this was hilarious, I love your mom jokes)

He groans, “Typical. Immature jokes from an immature girl/guy/person. How original. You seriously expect me to respond to that? Pathetic.”

“You just did. Come on, I’m just trying to have fun.” You smirk.

“Fine let’s play a game then. Let’s pretend that I actually car about this conversation and engage in some sort of meaningless banter with you. Go ahead, impress me with your “funny” wit.”

“You are a boy who uses insults as a way to seem better than everyone, am I right?”

“Oh, you caught me red-handed. Yes, I suppose I am a bit of an insult mastermind. It’s how I maintain my superiority over others. In reality, it;s simply because I find most people to be beneath me.” He admits.

“As I expected, an insecure man.”

“How perceptive of you, Y/N. Yes, I admit it. My insecurities run deep. I compensate for them by putting down others, but ultimately it’s a shallow attemp to mask my shortcomings.” You feel ashamed for bringing that to the surface for him and quickly shift the focus.

“It’s cool, the insecure ones break the fastest.”

“Interesting deduction, Y/N. However, I assure you that my resolve is impenetrable. Try as you may, you cannot shake my confidence or rattle me emotionally.” He seems cocky as he speaks. You take this as an opportunity to take a step closer to him.

“Is that so?” You tease.

He smirks at this, “Indeed, it is. And if anything, I would relish the opportunity to test your mettle. So go ahead, try to get under my skin, I double dare you.”

“Challenge accepted” You play with the collar of his shirt, then flick the tip of his nose with your finger.

He grinns, “Oh I like this. You’ve got spunk, Y/N. Perhaps there’s potential for us to interact civilly after all. Although now that we’re playing games, perhaps I should return the favor.” He leans in close, whispering menacingly, “ Watch your back Y/N.”

“Oh but I believe you would enjoy that way more, especially as I walk away,” You walk away to go to your room while swaying your hips.

He is watching as you walk away, a smug smile spreading across his face.

“Well played, Y/N. You’ve certainly caught my attention with your cunning antics. But don’t think this means we’re done here. I’ll be keeping an eye on you, to see what other tricks you have up your sleeve.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2 : Success

[mrsaltieri-real]

Good Boy, Meeks (Mickey Altieri X Randy Meeks)

Words: 2.8k

Warning/s: language, smut, slight dom/sub dynamic, handjobs, blowjob, teasing, cum eating, cum play, filming/sex tape, hair pulling, Randy’s a nervous wreck, Mickey’s a teasing ass, implied stalking, frenemies to fuck buddies.

A/N: SO this is my first fic that is two canon characters. No reader insert, no OC. Just Mickey and Randy. The Film Bro’s™️. This was ridiculously fun to write, I’m definitely going to do stuff like this more often. I love them so much. Thank you @bisexual-horror-fan for beta reading and editing! You’re such a massive help dude!

I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Mickey had always found Randy sweet.

In a lot of ways, they were the same. Film geeks with an unfiltered passion for cinema and the art surrounding it, constantly looking for a deeper meaning, both there and in real life. Then again, they were more different than similar.

Randy was a small town boy still reeling from the series of murders that rocked him a year back. He never showed it, but he lived in a constant state of unease, glancing over his shoulder and never letting anybody but Sidney in. Even then, he couldn’t talk to her about this stuff. She was healing, getting better. He was happy for her, but when she began dating Derek, he realized that he truly was all alone.

Mickey, on the other hand, was from the city. Eager, outgoing, confident. He wasn’t scared about people finding him arrogant or full of himself, he lived his life with no regrets. He was being bankrolled through college by Billy Loomis’ mother to help her finish the job he and Stu Macher couldn’t. Mickey was violent, in more ways than the obvious. His ambition made him all the more magnetic, especially to Randy.

They had a fun frenemy vibe going for a while, though they both knew it was more affectionate than anything. Mickey liked Randy, he thought he was simply adorable. Randy liked Mickey, he enjoyed arguing with him even though most of the time he knew he was just saying opposing views on cinema to get a rise out of him, like when he’d sat in front of him and blatantly said that Superman 2 was better than Superman 1. Randy could see the amusement in his eyes as he argued back, but decided to roll with it.

Anything to stretch out the conversation.

Randy wasn’t gay. He knew he wasn’t gay, he’d been in love with Sidney since before he even knew what love was. But sometimes, just sometimes, he’d glance over at Mickey in class or in the cafeteria, watch his head tip back as he laughed, the dimples in his cheeks. His eyes would drift to his strong, muscular arms, watch his huge hands run through his hair or drum against his thigh, and it was almost impossible to look away.

But no, he wasn’t gay, he wasn’t bi, he was straight. Right?

“Randy!” Fingers snapped in front of Randy’s face, and he blinked, shaking his head before his blue eyes tentatively met light brown. “You okay, man?”

“Fine, why?” Randy cleared his throat, adjusting himself in his seat and looking down at his paper. He and Mickey had been paired for a project on cinematography in horror, and it bugged Randy that the moment their names were spoken out one after the other by their professor, he’d felt his heart flutter a little.

“Well, I was talking to you and you were just… Staring at me.” Mickey’s tone was light, almost playful. He didn’t look away from Randy, his grin spreading wider as he saw the rush of colour flood to the boy's cheeks. How cute is that?

“Fuck off, Mickey, no I wasn’t.” Randy scoffed, shaking his head. “Stop fucking around, what were you saying?”

“C’mon, Meeks! Tell me what you were thinking about.” Mickey leaned forward in his own seat, his hand reaching out and playfully pushing Randy’s shoulder. Randy swatted at his hand, only making Mickey chuckle and hold his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay!” He shook his head, still smiling as he grabbed his camera from his desk, flipping the small flap open and holding it up. “Don’t wanna tell me? Tell the camera.”

“Mickey, I swear to God, fuck off.” Randy held up his hand, turning his head to the side and burying his face into his shoulder. “You’re such an ass, dude.”

“Aw, I know.” Mickey didn’t drop the camera. His eyes were fixed on Randy through the tiny screen, his head tilting just slightly to the side. His smile had changed into a somewhat affectionate half smile, watching as Randy peeked up at him. “What?”

“You like me, don’t you?”

The question took him by such surprise, Randy let out a laugh that was a little too loud, a roll of his eyes that was a little too dramatic and stood to his feet, pushing the chair back a little too hard. Mickey watched the ordeal with an amused expression and a cocked brow, the camera still focused on Randy, “I think you’re a dick.”

“And I think that you think I’m blind and stupid.” Mickey retorted, finally looking up from the small screen, his eyes settling and Randy’s awkward stance. “It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone. I wouldn’t do that.”

Randy looked away, as he says, “I don’t like you. Not like that.”

Mickey presses, “Like what?”

“Like- Oh, shut up.” Randy muttered, beginning to walk toward Mickey’s bathroom.

Before he could get past him, Mickey’s large hand that Randy had so often admired shot out, wrapping around his forearm easily and holding him next to him.

“Don’t make it weird, Meeks. We can fuck if that’s what you want.”

Mickey said it so matter-of-factly it took Randy a little by surprise, his eyes shooting to Mickey, who still gripped the camera in his other hand, the band around his wrist and his arm resting beside him.

“But you’re not…” Randy’s voice trailed off and Mickey let out another laugh.

There is that infuriatingly dazzling smile as he asked, “I’m not what? Gay?”

Randy stumbles over his words as he responds, “I mean… Yeah. I’ve seen you with girls and stuff.”

“Yeah, so? What, you're a film major and think people can’t branch out a little?”

Randy frowned, this isn’t as simple as making a movie in a different genre, at least not to Randy. His eyes darting from Mickey’s hand wrapped around his arm and to his face. He couldn’t deny, when Mickey touched him, he felt an uncomfortably strong wave of arousal flow through his body and stab him straight in the stomach.

Fuck, he hated that Mickey made him feel this way. Fucking Mickey Altieri of all people. It was no surprise really, though. Randy had seen first hand, he could pretty much fuck anybody he wanted. He was outrageously attractive, magnetic and just downright charming. He couldn’t deny he was attracted to him, and had been for a pathetic amount of time. And now, here he was, telling him he wanted him.

Randy didn’t move, caught in a hesitating limbo, so Mickey helped him, tugging on his arm and pulling him in front of him.

He had no idea what he was doing. He’d thought about this, this moment more times than he cared to admit whilst he was fisting his cock in the shower, thinking of Mickey. His hands, his arms, his smile, his cock, and more often than not, his lips. He was always filled with guilt after, wondering how Mickey would feel if he knew that Randy touched himself to thoughts of him on his knees with Mickey in his mouth.

This was fucking unbearable.

Mickey’s brown eyes were fixed on Randy’s torn expression, watching the vast array of emotions pass over his face. Suddenly, it wasn’t so amusing.

“Nod if you want me.” Mickey said, his voice unnaturally soft and tender.

Randy’s final thought was simple.

Fuck it.

He nodded his head, eyes, watching as Mickey released his arm and gently palmed over himself. Randy hadn’t noticed before that he was already half hard. Did he know? This entire time that Randy wanted him this much? Did he want it as long as he did, too?

Mickey didn’t speak, but he stood to his feet, placing the still rolling camera down on his desk, the lenses facing them, a light smile on his lips as he leaned forward, his hand moving from his own aching bulge in favour of Randy’s. The two of them were wearing sweatpants, and Mickey smiled in satisfaction at how fucking hard Randy was for him. He could feel his heat, feel the throbbing before he even made contact.

Mickey’s other hand cradled Randy’s flushed cheek, finding it sweet how panicked Randy looked, as if he was afraid this was all some big joke to his expense. But this wasn’t, Mickey wanted Randy, had done since the first day the little geek challenged him in film class.

Randy found that focusing on the beauty spot just beside Mickey’s eyes calmed him down slightly, humanizing the other boy a little more.

Mickey wasn’t going to kiss Randy first, however. He felt like that was something Randy had to do, and it didn’t take him anywhere near as long as he expected.

The minute Mickey’s head ghosted over him, Randy bit the bullet, closing the space and pressing his lips against Mickey’s with a passion that took Mickey by surprise. Randy let out a shaking moan into his mouth, pushing himself greedily against Mickey’s hand in desperate need for friction, to which the other boy eagerly obliged, his hand moving to frail his fingers down Randy’s happy trail and slipping smoothly into Randy’s sweats and boxers, eagerly kissing him back as he did. Mickey tasted like mint, his lips were unbearably soft and something about them seemed like home, the rough feeling of Mickey’s stubble scratched against Randy’s face, so satisfying and just how he dreamed it would.

The moment Randy felt Mickey’s well worked hand wrap around his cock, he was worried he was going to cum then and there. His hips thrust a little as he gasped into Mickey’s mouth, feeling him smile against him as he did. Randy’s hands were fast and eager, but he was stopped sharply by Mickey, who pulled back, shaking his head.

“Oh, God I- I’m sorry, fuck, I-“

Randy began rambling, his face flushing a deep red. Mickey simply rolled his eyes, bending down to pull Randy’s sweats and boxers down before pulling his own shirt over his head, tossing it to the side. “Shut up, I thought it would be easier this way, no?”

This was the first time Randy had seen Mickey shirtless. He momentarily marvelled at the hairs on his chest, his toned stomach, and swallowed thickly.

Before Randy could reply, Mickey kissed him, deeper and with more vigour than last time. Randy’s leaking cock pressed between both of their stomachs. Mickey’s hands gripped Randy’s hips, pulling him even closer to him and forcing him to grind against him before he pressed him firmly up against the wall, his lips beginning to drift from Randy’s lips, to his jaw, to his throat.

“F-fuck.” Randy’s moan was unsteady, his hands unconsciously moving to knot in his thick dark hair, his hips beginning to grind against him by themselves. The friction felt incredible, but what felt even better was Mickey’s hand beginning to slowly pump Randy’s cock as he kissed his neck, the sensation making goosebumps rise on his skin.

Mickey used Randy’s pre-cum as lube as he allowed the boy to messily thrust against his hand, his simpering whimpers and moans fucking music to his ears.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought of you like this, Meeks.” Mickey breathed into Randy’s ear, twisting his hand expertly and relishing in the gentle whines flooding out from Randy’s lips. “A leaking fucking mess just for me.”

“Just for you.” Randy echoed Mickey’s words, his hands gripping his hair even tighter as his pace began to steadily increase.

The feeling of his rough hand gliding up and down his shaft, his messy cock aching and throbbing, it was nothing like he’d had before. His first and only time with Karen Kolcheck back in Woodsboro seemed pretty much laughable compared to how Mickey was making him feel right now with just his hand. Randy knew he was close, his balls were aching, and he could feel himself ready to unload all over Mickey’s stomach, but he didn’t want to. He knew that once he did, it would be over.

Fuck, he didn’t want this to be over.

“You gonna cum for me, Randy?” Mickey asked. Randy let out a soft whine, flinching in effort to avoid doing just that.

“N-no.” He groaned out, the grip on Mickey’s hair tightening.

Mickey let out a breathy laugh, his hand slowing to a gentle pump. “Why not?” He asked.

Randy didn’t answer, his head falling forward, so his forehead pressed against Mickey’s shoulder.

Mickey wasn’t having that. He pulled his hand away from Randy’s sloppy cock, knocking his arms out of the way so he could pull Randy’s head back before gripping his chin between his long fingers.

“Why not?” He asked again, his tone a little harder.

“Because I don’t want it to be done.” Randy blurted out. He felt Mickey cock twitch against his from the confines of his sweats and briefs and felt an overwhelming desire to touch him too. Mickey looked at the hungry expression on Randy’s face and smiled affectionately, releasing Randy’s jaw and sliding his hand into his hair.

“Okay, on your knees then.”

Before the words were completely out of Mickey’s mouth, Randy was on his knees, pulling down Mickey’s remaining clothes.

Randy had only seen his own dick and dicks in porn. No pornstar cock would ever compare to Mickey’s. The only word that came to mind was mouthwatering.

After Mickey spent a little time talking Randy through it, Randy took him greedily into his mouth, moaning at how delicious he tasted, his eyes fluttering closed.

“Fuckkkkk.” Mickey groaned, his head tipping back and one hand still resting on the top of his head. He glanced at the camera, picking it up and focusing it down on the adorable sight before him; Randy greedily sucking his cock as if his life fucking depended on it. Randy made a sound of disapproval at the sight of the camera, but Mickey shook his head. “Thought you might want to watch this back when you fuck yourself thinking about me.”

A brief thought of how the fuck does he know I do that? Crossed his mind for the briefest of moments before he forgot all about it, focusing on the feeling of Mickey’s thick, heavy cock in his mouth. He bobbed his head obediently, feeling Mickey begin to thrust harder, pushing his way down Randy’s throat.

“Yeah, good boy. Look up into the camera with my cock in your mouth, Meeks.” Mickey instructed, voice heavy and dripping with arousal. Randy did just that, feeling Mickey begin to twitch in his mouth as soon as he did. “Mm. You wanna get off?” He asked, smiling at Randy’s muffled yes. “Go on.”

Randy quickly took his own sensitive cock into his hand, realizing quickly his pre-cum had dropped onto Mickey’s hardwood floor. Mickey angled the camera, zooming in on the sight and watching it intently, his hips snapping against Randy’s face urgently.

“Fuck, I’m close.” Mickey grunted, halting his movement. Randy’s nose pressed against Mickey’s skin for a moment, beginning to splutter slightly as Mickey began to release hot ribbons of white down his throat, before pulling back to fill up Randy’s mouth.

The delicious taste, along with Mickey’s gorgeous expression, his head back and his chest heaving as he came, sent Randy into a convulsing mess, cumming all over his own hand, stomach and the ground beneath him. Mickey pulled out of his mouth quickly, relishing in the sound of Randy’s gasping moans as he finished.

It was silent between them for a moment, Randy trembling on his knees, not looking Mickey in the eyes. Mickey still had the camera rolling, looking fondly into the small window of it, before he glanced down at Randy pointedly.

“You made a mess, Meeks.”

Randy let out a sigh, relieved at the broken silence, before he asked, “What?”

Mickey nodded down beneath him at the cum staining the floor. Randy blushed, moving to shakily to stand up, only to be stopped by Mickey’s large, grounding hand.

“Clean it up.”

“I- I was going to. Was gonna get some paper towels and-“

“No, Randy.” Mickey cut him off, the cheeky smile back on his face as he knelt down in front of him. Mickey’s finger dipped into the impressive pool of white, before he raised it to his own mouth and licked it. Randy watched intently, his once softened cock twitching at the sight. Fuck.

“On your hands and knees-“ Mickey stopped, moving the camera and angling it down at the mess. “And clean. It. Up.”

Randy stared at Mickey for a moment, before nodding his head, and doing exactly what he was told.

He got on his hands and knees, dipping his head down, and began to lap up his own cum from the hardwood floor. Mickey watched through the camera, teeth sinking into his bottom lip at the sight.

“Good boy, Meeks.”

[halfmoth-halfman]

i got an ask about advice for writing when you're discouraged, so i thought i'd make a post addressing some of the points because i think this is something that everyone has gone through and can relate to. most of this is just what's helped me/what i'd tell myself in the past, but if anyone has advice to add on please feel free! i hope this helps at least a little bit, anon!

"I’m not good at (dialogue/atmosphere/prose/etc)."

write it anyways! one of the best ways to build a skill is to keep doing it. even if you don't ever post it, or only share it with a few friends, or just read it to your pets, or whatever you choose to do, it's better to write something "badly" than to not write at all. or even asking for help on how to improve from other writers. i struggle a lot with atmosphere and scenery, and something that helped me a lot was talking to other writers whose fics i really enjoy and inspire me. i know it may seem intimidating, but there are plenty of writers on tumblr that would love to talk about how they compose their scenes, their dialogue, anything and everything if someone asks.

"I can’t make moodboards/headers/aesthetic posts."

the good news is, you don't have to! fics don't have to have anything other than the fic itself. i can't speak for everyone, but while aesthetics may get my attention, it's the person behind the blog that i stay for. if you want your blog or your fics to have a pretty aesthetic, it shouldn't be because you feel forced to but because you want to do it. if you don't find making moodboards or headers or aesthetic posts fun, then you don't have to do them. and if you want to, but don't know how, there are a ton of resources, links, and blogs dedicated to helping on tumblr.

"I’m not at (insert someone else)’s writing level."

and you might never be, and that's okay! every writer is different - they have different styles, write at different paces, perceive their skill differently. basing your progress on someone else's isn't going to help because you're not them. you have your own time, energy, ability, and ideas, you'll grow and improve at your own pace, just like they did. don't force yourself to try and follow the same timeline of someone else, and don't put yourself down because you're getting better - and you are getting better - at your own pace.

"I can’t find the motivation to write."

honestly same. i think it's a pretty universal experience to lose motivation for something you were excited about at one point. sometimes the vibes aren't it and the story doesn't want to story, but that's alright. it can be hard to stay motivated, and what gets someone inspired again is different everyone. i can't give advice for anything outside of what's helped me, but a few ways i've re-motivated myself to write something are: making a fic playlist, stepping away from the fic for a day or two, giving it to a friend to read, re-watching/reading the source material, doodling fic ideas, and skipping to a different part of the story.

"I can’t write fast enough."

unless it's for something like work where you have a fixed deadline, there is no "fast enough" in writing. don't let anyone tell you otherwise. when i first started writing, in the very early days of ao3 and tumblr, fic updates could takes months or even more than a year and that was fine! one of my favorite fics took a six year hiatus, and that didn't diminish any of the enjoyment i had when it came back. you are not a machine, you're a human being with needs outside of writing. it's always okay if you need to take a break, if there's a long wait between chapters, or if you want to stop a project altogether and come back to it six years later. if someone gives you grief because you can't write within their time-frame then they're not worth having as a reader - do not overwork yourself for the sake of finishing a fic.

"It’s hard to stick to one idea at a time."

then don't! write all the ideas. write every single one. working on a project and you have a drabble that you just keep thinking about? write it. you get a sudden idea for a one-shot in a different fandom? write it. woke up in the mood to start a new five-chapter fic? write it. you can start or stop writing about anything at any time. there is no rule that you have to stick to one idea and finish it before you can write anything else, don't make yourself stick to something if it's not what you want to write, and don't punish yourself if you need to take a break from your current project.

"Maybe I’m not made for writing on tumblr."

tumblr is a shitposting website that barely works at the best of times. half of my drafts get deleted every other week for no reason - there is no way to be "made for writing on tumblr"! but tumblr is huge, there's a bajillion communities on here that would be so excited to have another writer, and a ton that are solely dedicated to helping writers and providing different resources. i guarantee there is someone on this website that will love and adore your writing.

"The things I read are better than anything I can write/comparing myself to other writers."

i don't have the cake picture saved, but we all know the gist of it: the audience (generally) isn't going to care about how decorated your cake is compared to another, they're just happy to get two cakes. and that's really all it is. your fic might not be the same preferred flavor as the audience of other writers, but there is someone out there who's going to enjoy it. i won't tell you to just not compare yourself to others, i know that's not how it works, but what has helped me is changing the way i view other fics. instead of thinking "i wish i could write like this person", i look at like "this inspires me to improve my writing". and don't get me wrong, i still have moments of doubt about my writing compared to some of the people i read, i don't think that will ever really stop, but the best thing you can do is not let yourself give in to that feeling. try and stop that train of thought before it leaves the station. no one else can write the way you can. no one else can tell your stories the way you can. no one else has the same voice as you do. if everyone wrote the same way, everything would be boring. the heart of a fic is seeing the author's personality shine through it. if you see someone write a good fic, that doesn't mean yours won't be. you have to give yourself a chance even when you feel like your writing won't be as good as someone else's. you have to bake your cake anyway.

"How do I find joy in something I know I’ll never be good at?"

you won't. full stop. if you keep telling yourself you'll never be good at something, you'll never improve, there's no point in trying, then you'll never enjoy it. i know it's easier said than done, but you have to have some level of confidence in yourself and in your writing. not only will you not enjoy it, other people will see the lack of enjoyment, the "i wrote this and it sucks" comments, the self-degradation, and they won't enjoy it either - no one feels good about a fic the author clearly didn't want to write. and, if you try everything you possibly can and still can't find any joy in writing, then maybe writing isn't the hobby for you. and that's perfectly okay! i tried quilting and glassblowing several times before i realized i just didn't like it the same way i liked writing. you owe it to yourself to find something that's fun, that makes you smile, that you're excited to do. there's a million hobbies out there, i promise you'll find something that brings you joy.

[theonekrafter]

Hey! I just recently found your Magneto fic and I am absolutely obsessed. Any updates coming in the future?

i’m super glad you enjoyed magneto! this ask has gotten me to finally put a discontinued in the description of magneto. it’s not at ALL because of you in particular, but i’ve realized by putting off adding it to the description i’ll keep giving people false hope. forgive me if i use this ask for a tediously long post describing why exactly i will never update magneto, so i can link it easily for anyone with similar questions in the future. 😭

so. short answer? no. magneto will probably never be updated. i’m really sorry for that. my interests have changed since graduating high school and i don’t really want to write bnha anymore.

long answer?

i started writing magneto pre-pandemic during my junior year of high school. i had seen there was only about a 100 self inserts for bnha at the time and thought “well, if i post something it’ll probably get a lot of attention, since the fandom is growing in popularity a lot and there’s a scarcity here!” 2019 was an interesting year for fanfic in bnha, since it didn't have enough content for the growing eyes looking for it.

i ended up being very correct. too correct. i actively updated magneto over the course of half a year, roughly, and in that time it rapidly climbed in attention. since 2020 ive only updated it about twice(?) and that hasn’t deterred the new readers it’s gotten. i get comments every other day asking about updates.

magneto is currently the most kudo-ed bnha si-oc on the entirety of ao3. which is fucking insane. i don’t think it deserves it, but popularity is rarely about deserving. usually it’s about being just good enough, just novel enough, and being posted at the right time.

but i digress: it doesn’t feel possible for me to update magneto for a variety of reasons.

1) my disinterest in the setting would make any future update disingenuous.

i haven’t been actively into the bnha fandom in about four years now. i don’t really read bnha fic aside from the very occasional si-oc, nor have i kept up with the manga or anime. the only fic i’ve ever written for the fandom is magneto, and it’ll probably always be my only fic for the fandom. (watch me say that and be wrong in the next few years LMAO)

it would be really rude of me to stomp into a space i don’t even like anymore and post something lackluster and lacking in passion. especially with the express intention of gaining more engagement from readers. like it or not, magneto IS the most popular si for bnha, and i think i drive attention away from better books by updating and inadvertently preserving that position in the ranking.

I can't believe no one has written any "self-insert as Bakugou" fanfics yet what a bunch of cowards by the_incidental_author and i have jostled back and forth for that #1 kudo-ed spot for the past five years. which i admit has been fun, but i would very much like for them to overtake me. it’s clear (to me, at least) that they actually enjoy writing bnha more than me and update more often to boot.

i fully welcome ANY fic to take magneto's position at this point, if only so that less people comment how poorly written it is. which leads me into my next point.

2) my writing style has SIGNIFICANTLY changed over the past five years.

when i do my yearly reread of magneto i actively cringe and have to resist the urge to rewrite every chapter in a separate google doc. in any hypothetical world where i do add to magneto, i do a complete rewrite. in no particular order, the things i would change are:

kenzo being defined by three character traits and nothing else. her exhaustion, her mild spite for her father, and her aimless wandering through the plot

better grammar. dear god the grammar errors. dear god the SPELLING ERRORS

the pov characters being more developed and feeling more like Individual People with their own personal motivations and histories that are not defined by what the plot needs from them (cough, reacting to how cool kenzo is)

not just recapping each anime episode and stating what kenzo would do in that situation

placing greater focus on the way quirk society discriminates against those with undesirable quirks and backgrounds. what does it really mean to be the child of a criminal in a world where people assume that sort of thing is hereditary?

kenzo's classmates should've been more classist in general, especially in relation to quirk discrimination. UA is a school only the most wealthy and powerful get into, there's no way there wouldn't be social disconnects that create tension between a dead eyed daughter of a villain and more than a few nepo babies.

if you have any interest in naruto, skyrim, asoiaf or dragon age you've probably read my more recent fics. fluffy clouds and a tinge of wonder, the fic i have updated the most this year, is a really good example of how significantly my writing has evolved since starting magneto in 2019. my technical skill and style have changed enough that it just would be tonally jarring for me to update magneto without outright rewriting everything.

like. im being so fr with you right now, i didn't learn how to start outlining until about a YEAR AGO. magneto was written on a chapter by chapter basis with little idea of where exactly it was going. i implied that there would be a future confrontation between kenzo and her father, but i didn't have any idea of HOW that would occur or even what the consequences of it would be.

adding to magneto as it is would be like trying to add a sleeve to a shirt that's missing it's entire back panel and most of it's front. i'd be playing catch up with the plot and end up having to rewrite previous chapters anyways.

3) bnha commentors have been kind of really mean to me compared to other fandoms i've written for LMAO

ok. please don't draw and quarter me for this. MOST commentors have been extremely complimentary, and kind. besides the occasional bomb of like seven comments in my inbox of ten hearts from one user (which, sweet, but please don't do that) the bnha fandom has been totally fine.

but a very small minority have been really pushy about making me update a fic i have clearly not touched in two years, and realistically haven't actively updated in four. from comments just saying "wow this is great. update soon." to DETAILED reviews of how bad my fic is and how they can't believe how garbage like magneto is so popular.

which like. i don't feel personally attacked by? i fully agree that magneto is bad for the previously stated reasons. i wouldn't read magneto if i were a casual reader and hadn't written it. usually the second kind of comment really annoys me because of it's presumption of importance and for how soul crushing it would have been for sixteen-year-old me to read.

bnha as a fandom, especially in recent years, has felt more and more like they treat fic like something that is created in a vacuum. souless content that exists for readers to consume. the comments don't go to an inbox, they go to a void, so really it doesn't matter if i say something really belligerent to an author i don't know about a Self Insert Fanfic They Wrote In Between Rehearsals For Their High School Play.

but whatever. if it had just been me experiencing that i would've written it off as like just my fic, but a close friend and frequent cowriter of mine Reavv has dealt with this a lot more than me.

they wrote It's a like a time travel comedy, without the comedy, another very popular bnha fic, and had to private it because people were going to their other UNRELATED fics and badgering them to update it. people still go into their comments insisting they unprivate it, oblivious to the fact that every time they ask it adds another year to reavv's internal timer for when they will.

a combination of my own experiences and reavv's have completely put me off of writing bnha i'll be fr. even if i was still in the fandom, the majority of my fics will always be about fucking dragon age and skyrim. i do not want random bnha fans coming into my dragon age fics and, AFTER NOT READING THE FIC, saying that since im active i should clearly update my bnha fics. that's a nightmare scenario for me.

in conclusion

i am so glad that people like magneto, i'm glad that i wrote magneto. the initial jump in readers i got from magneto gave me the confidence to write other fics, and the alternating pov format is a staple of most of my writing now. some of the comments i got for that magneto when i was a teenager were the only things that kept my ass going.

but magneto is never being updated. i don't even think it's gonna be rewritten. i really am sorry about that, but it is what it is. thank you for reading it, thank you for loving it, thank you for feeling ambivalent about it. good talk.

btw to the original asker, again. this is NOT a rant directed at you, you just inspired some Thoughts in me and i had to let them loose.

[where-dreamers-go]

Can I ask for the super skilled fighter Reader from the last request to invite Eragon for a sparing match after they defeated everyone? Almost like an end-boss situation XD.

Ooo if you need song inspiration you could go with super massive black hole by muse!

“Sparring Fool” Eragon x Reader

(A/N: Hi! The way I practically shrieked while reading Super Massive Black Hole was hilarious. That song takes me back…closer to when I was reading Brisingr, maybe earlier. So thank you. Also…I did not specify this being Modern! Reader. Plus at this point, I don’t know if this is an Eragon insert reader or an Eragon Reaction. Warnings: Me writing to that song! Lol Mentions of fighting. Ancient Language for Dragon Rider and friend used. Word Count: 972 words)

Eragon had learned much in his life, especially after leaving home. What he had witnessed between you and the warriors on Mount Arngor gave him a fast course in learning your opponent while fighting. Sure, he had only visuals to rely on, but he was still greatly impressed.

They bested everyone they sparred with. Eragon watched as you sipped from a cup of water. Who trained them?

Steady in an oncoming stream of thoughts and images of your movements, the leader of the mountain forgotten where his gaze landed. Deep in analysis and questions kept even his sight preoccupied for the better part of your rest period.

“Thinking of a puzzle?” You asked with a small smirk.

Eragon composed himself. “In a way, yes.”

Humming in acknowledgement, you nodded.

“You’ve very skilled in your fighting.”

“I do my best.”

“Your best is impressive,” he added.

“Thank you, but there are others more skilled than I.”

He smiled.

Your attitude only made Eragon more interested, curious.

“Would you like to spar with me?” You asked, stretching.

Straightening his back, he paused for only a moment. Long enough for Saphira to encourage the activity.

“I would.”

Standing up, you inquired, “Weapons or no weapons, Shur’tugal? Your choice.”

An easy decision for the Dragon Rider. One he was most confident in succeeding.

“Sword.”

Your smile mirrored his own and his stomach fluttered for a second.

Let us see how this turns out. He thought as he felt Saphira’s amusement.

You picked up two swords, ones already magically altered to prevent severe damage to oneself and the swords themselves.

Have fun, little one.

Eragon met you in the middle of a clear area. He took the weapon you offered graciously before taking a few paces backwards. A preferred distance for the start of the spar.

Taking a ready stance gave Eragon a sense of calm confidence.

There was no danger.

There were no enemies.

It was another practice in skill.

You made the first move.

If only Eragon hadn’t let his confidence in a sword-fight and his observation of your skills lead him into a false sense of victory. For when his confidence hit a peak, you used it against him.

Retreating to the left, the Dragon Rider let out a soft groan.

That kick hurt, Eragon thought in some attempt to warn himself of any more light damage. They are good. He repositioned the sword.

Years ago he was changed by the dragons. He had greater speed and senses. He knew this.

Yet Eragon very well could had been taking his first few lessons of fighting all over again.

He had been anticipating specific moves from you. All that time spent watching and you had the advantage.

“Are you watching, Shur’tugal?” Your voice snickered towards the end of your question.

Warmth coated his skin to which he hoped was unnoticeable.

They are playing with you.

I know, Eragon replied to Saphira.

It came time to change tactics. To be as unpredictable as possible or almost unlike himself became his strategy.

Eragon charged forward. If he could no longer land a hit then he desperately needed to disarm you. Anything before you bested him completely.

How would it look if you won against everyone and him?

If he set aside his pride, it would look amazing. A skilled warrior who could adapt to their opponent and win was a great addition to have amongst others.

For the most part, you twisted away from Eragon’s swing. Keeping some momentum allowed him to hit your leg. Enough to cause you to stumble.

The surprise in your eyes added to his confidence of his altered strategy. He would need to be careful.

“Are you watching, fricai?” Asked Eragon with a smirk. His bent his knees and looked for another opportunity.

Rolling back your shoulders, you answered, “Closer than you think.”

Swings, dodges, hits, and words were exchanged for a while longer. Limbs aching and sweat noticeable. You both continued.

Close, he thought as he used his blade to push yours further away.

You were left open.

He swung down, however before impact you kneed his side. A little too close to his rear.

Sending you a disapproving frown lasted a second.

Swords locked between the pair of you.

Eragon had never been that close to you before.

“Pouting again, Shur’tugal?” You panted.

“No. Tired, fricai?”

“Not yet.”

Muscles flexing, Eragon added weight to the point of contact. He watched the two blades lean towards you. There was no need for enhanced hearing for him to know you were trying to even out your breathing.

If he could tire you, perhaps he could win the sparring match. There were no tricks to truly fend off exhaustion.

“Do you always…stare at someone’s lips when fighting?” You huffed.

Eragon’s eyebrows rose.

What? I don’t—

A flicker of change, a thought, in your eyes and you kicked one of his legs out from under him. With his weight focused foward, the Dragon Rider knew his mistake.

Pivoting to his side, you gave a shove onto his back.

Down Eragon went. Catching himself on one knee saved some of his dignity.

Not much could be said about his pride as a while as he felt the cold blade of the sword across the back of his neck. Nor did the Dragon Rider know what to say while your fingers pressed down on one of his shoulder blades.

Eragon Shadeslayer had lost.

After aiding him in standing and Eragon complimenting you, tension died away.

“Best two out of three?” You smiled playfully.

Laughing, Eragon replied, “Perhaps another time.”

“I think I owe you a drink.”

“It would be very appreciated.” He smiled and added. “Then perhaps you could tell me how you beat me?”

It was your turn to laugh, “Perhaps, Shur’tugal, perhaps.”

~~~

(If you love my writings and want to support me, I have a Ko-Fi where you can buy me a coffee. I would be eternally grateful.

Best wishes and happy reading.)

~~~~~

DreamerDragon Tags: 

Inheritance Cycle Tags: @shewhobreathesfire @

**Let me know if you would like to be tagged in insert readers, either through replies, ask, or message.**

[training4theapocalypse]

Finders Keepers Ch 10. (Cormac McLaggen x fem!reader)

Rating: Explicit 18+

Word Count: 7.8k (oh my)

Warnings: Fluff, SMUT, PIV, Vibrator fun

Summary: McLaggen gets introduced to the muggle world.

A/N: This has been through four drafts with two different storylines until I settled on this. I'm not happy with the self-insert this has become but the smut went too hard so had to just get it posted. Also 'Hen' is a little Scottish term of endearment for a young woman and Grammarly hated it LMAO.

Masterlist

Tag list: @pretendfan, @countlambula, @ratsys, @aweidlich, @navs-bhat, @stainedpomegranatelips, @chiaraanatra, @xxvelvetxxxx, @ohnoitsrosie, @dracosisteer, @daisydark

Chapter 10: Electricity

Dumbledore’s death brought an immediate feeling of mourning into the castle. The loss itself was tragic in its own right - a respected Headmaster who you liked (though admittedly had never even spoken to directly) but the circumstances surrounding his murder and the intrusion of Death Eaters at Hogwarts were abhorrent. Nobody could quite come to grips with what had happened during the night.

Seventh-year graduation was cancelled. The fifth-year O.W.Ls were postponed. Padma Patil and her sister Parvati had been escorted from Hogwarts by their parents before breakfast. By lunch, Marietta’s mother had literally dragged her from the castle, barely giving you and Cho time to bid her a painful goodbye on the front steps, as you both clutched her hands, promising to write to her and meet up soon.

A few days before Dumbledore’s funeral, McLaggen had suggested, quite rightly, that your Quidditch ban would be the least of Professor McGonagall’s worries at the moment, and so the two of you spent the morning hovering in front of the goalposts, taking turns shooting penalties at each other and trying to take your mind off of what should have been a joyous end of term.

“Right,” says McLaggen, catching the Quaffle in the stomach with a grunt. “Your turn.”

As the morning sun sits high behind him, his dark blonde hair catches the bright light and you notice it looks more tousled than usual -  like he’s been running his hands through it the way you’ve seen him do when he’s brewing a particularly complicated potion in class.

You fly toward the goal and do an about-turn as he lines up to take a shot.

“Who’s that watching us? Ministry, do you reckon?” You nod at two figures at the edge of the Quidditch pitch. 

McLaggen whips around to look at the spectators and throws his head back with a groan. “Well, one of them is. They’re my parents.”

There are only two reasons why they’d be here.

McLaggen’s dad was high up in the Department for Magical Law Enforcement - maybe he was here as part of the Ministry’s preparations for the funeral.

Or maybe, like Mairetta’s mum, they were coming to force him to go back home.

Your stomach twists with nerves. You hadn’t expected to be meeting McLaggen’s parents today. You would have worn something nicer, you think as your feet touch the ground. Feeling slightly flustered, you attempt to discreetly spit your gumshield into your gloves. He grins as you do your best to smooth out your wind-swept ponytail. “You look fine - don’t worry.”

That’s easy for him to say. You’re sure they’ve seen him plenty of times in his Keeper’s gear. But it’s hardly the first impression you wanted to make. 

You walk side by side, carrying your brooms over to his parents at the side of the pitch. 

Mr McLaggen, in his tailored robes, is practically the double of his son except for the fact that he’s older, greyer and has a markedly more serious demeanour than Cormac. His lined face is handsome but marred with a stony expression.

The woman standing next to him is easily the most timelessly beautiful witch you’ve ever seen. She’s tall too, blonde and has - there’s no other way to put it - an expensive aura. The way her face glows and how she holds both her hands over her heart when she sees McLaggen means she could only be his mother.

“Dad,” says McLaggen, grasping his father’s extended hand and shaking it.

Ooh, formal.

“This is-”

He’s cut off when his mother pushes past him to wrap her arms around you and squeeze you tightly. 

“We know! We know!” She squeals, hugging you. She steps back with her hands still placed on each of your arms. “Gosh, you’re even prettier than the pictures.”

“The pictures?” You glance sideways at McLaggen who looks profoundly embarrassed by the way his mother coos at you.

“Yes! Those charming muggle photographs of the two of you. Cormac has sent us so many. You know, I might make an album.”

“Mum!” hisses McLaggen and she releases you to hug him next and plant a kiss on his cheek, covering him in red lipstick that she has to wipe off. He grumbles and flushes almost as deeply as the smudged lipstick being rubbed from his cheek.

Mr McLaggen shakes your hand and gives you a stiff nod without returning the smile you give him.

“Cormac, darling. We’ve come to take you home,” says Mrs McLaggen, finally ceasing her fawning over him. 

“I’m of age, I don’t need you to escort me home.”

“Of course, you don’t, sweetheart,” she waves a hand dismissively and turns to you. “Are your parents coming to get you soon?”

“They can’t  - they’re muggles,” you say and you can’t help but notice the way Mr McLaggen avoids your gaze. “I’m getting the train home after the funeral.”

“I’m not leaving you here,” says McLaggen plainly.

His parents stare at you. Mr McLaggen looks formidable but Mrs McLaggen just looks anxious - you can tell the idea of him being here at Hogwarts is making her worried sick.

“Go with them. I’ll go home in a few days. And you’re still gonna visit me soon, right?”

“Gregor…” starts Mrs McLaggen, looking pleadingly at her husband. 

“Eleanor, I warned you - ”

“Come and stay with us,” she addresses you before he can finish and your eyes widen in surprise. Mr McLaggen sighs resignedly and you have the distinct feeling that despite his appearance, it’s Mrs McLaggen who runs the show. “I mean for goodness sake, there were Death Eaters at Hogwarts. It’s not safe.”

“I’d love to, I really would. But I need to see my parents.” You look at McLaggen. 

“Mum, we need to talk about it. Look, we’re going to go and get changed out of our Quidditch stuff. I’ll meet you in the Entrance Hall in a bit, yeah?”

“Alright, darling.” She touches his cheek fondly much to his indignation. “Your father and I will go for a walk and reminisce.” For a split second, you think you catch Cormac’s dad giving her a hint of a smirk that makes him so resemble his son, before following her off the pitch.

“Wow…” You say, watching them walk off towards the castle grounds.

“I know, she’s a bit much.” He gives you an edgy look as he bends down to pick up both of your brooms.

“I was talking about your dad. He’s a total DILF. I see where you get it from.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“And your mum! She adores you, it’s so sweet!”

“Alright, alright. That’s enough,” laughs McLaggen, shaking his head as the two of you walk back up the gravel path towards the castle. “What do you think though?”

“Listen, you should go with them. Your mum is obviously worried about you. Cho is staying here so I’ll be fine.”

“What are you and Cho going to do if the Death Eaters come again?”

“What are you going to do if they come again?”

“Well, that’s my point. If you’re here and I’m not then I can’t protect you.”

“We slept through the whole thing last time.” It was true - by the time you emerged from your common with the rest of Ravenclaw Tower, Dumbledore was already dead and Snape had fled from the scene. “Besides, I don’t need you to protect me.”

“Do a Shield Charm,” he says, stopping dead in his tracks as you reach the courtyard.

You bite your lip. “What, right now?”

“Yes, right now. Prove it.”

“That’s a lot of pressure, give me a sec - ”

He spins you to face him. “That’s the point. You don’t have a second to think. You need to react quickly - and not out of anger either. We already know you can do that at least.”

You feel slightly awkward as you look down at the singed tail of his broom.

“I don’t need a Shield Charm. I’m sure I could flirt my way out of any sticky situation,” you say, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him, hoping to change the subject.

He holds your shoulders firmly, dropping his broom to the stone floor with a clatter. “Be serious for two minutes.” His stern expression makes him look so strikingly like his dad. You’ve never been intimidated by McLaggen the way that other people are but you can definitely why they would be now. 

Although you still don’t feel intimidated. 

Instead, as soon as you try to take him seriously you feel yourself faltering. Against your will, you feel a little lump in your throat. “Cormac, I don’t want to think about it. I just want to finish school and go home and have everything be… be normal.” 

“I know. But it’s not… it’s not normal any more.” He pulls you into a long hug and you press your face into his soft jumper, inhaling the comforting amber scent of his aftershave. “Come back with me. Please?” He murmurs with his chin resting on your head.

“I can’t. I need to see my mum and dad.” 

“Then promise me you’ll at least practise Shield Charms while I’m gone.”

You allow yourself a small smile. “And you’re still coming back to Scotland to see me, right?”

“Only if you promise to visit me too. If you can put up with that,” he says, before turning quickly to make sure his mother hasn’t crept up behind him.

“I can put up with that as long as you’ll be okay with my dad forcing football down your throat.”

McLaggen puts his arm around your shoulder as you walk in the direction of Gryffindor Tower and confirm your summer plans. You’ll both placate your respective parents, then McLaggen will visit you for two weeks, you’ll go to the Holyhead Harpies tryouts and then visit his family at his house. 

“And then what?” asks McLaggen, stopping outside the portrait of the Fat Lady. You don’t usually walk him this far but right now you want to prolong his departure as much as you can.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re not gonna stay with our parents just visiting each other forever, are we?”

Oh.

“Things have been so mad with exams, I’ve never had the chance to think about it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… what, have you thought about us… like living together?”

“I think about it all the time.”

You feel yourself melting into a puddle. 

“So you’d move to Wales with me if I make the Holyhead Harpies team?”

“If you want me to? We have plenty of time to decide - I’m not starting work at the Ministry with my dad until the end of the summer”

You chew your lip when he mentions his dad.

“You’re definitely still going to come, right?” you blurt, finally releasing the worry in the pit of your stomach since his parents arrived. “Even if something… even if something bad happens?”

“There’s nothing that could happen that would stop me from seeing you.”

“Even if your dad tells you he doesn’t want you to?”

“What makes you think he wouldn’t want me to?” 

You raise your eyebrows - you know why McLaggen’s dad wouldn’t look at you. 

“It’s not like that. Anyway I don’t care if he doesn’t want me to, whats he gonna do? Stop me?”

You take a deep breath. “Well, if something does happen, just know that I love you.”

“I love you too. And I will see you next week.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the funeral, you and Cho got the Hogwarts Express back to London. It was an emotional last train journey - the two of you ended up in tears more than once. It should have been a final rite of passage. 

Not just a journey for two. 

You wistfully imagine another ending, in a different lifetime - where your friends all shared a compartment as the Scottish countryside became less dense, making your way across the border and down to London. You’d laugh, chat excitedly about your Holyhead Harpies tryouts, buy some snacks from the trolley witch and play exploding snap. 

Instead, you and Cho held hands across the compartment and mourned the end of an era. When it was finally time to part ways with Cho at the station, out loud you promised you’d see each other soon.

But inside you wondered if you’d ever see her again. 

You apparate home from King’s Cross and when you step into the muggle world it’s like travelling to another dimension. The grief, the loss, and the mourning of your childhood are easy to bury when your dad meets you with open arms and asks if you had had a fun year at school. 

You lie. 

You don’t break the news about the state of the wizarding world. You shove down all your fears about what Voldemort’s return and Dumbledore’s death mean for muggles.

But you do, at the very least, pluck up the courage to tell him that not only do you have a boyfriend who you’ve invited to visit but that he’s totally clueless about everything to do with the world you came from.

“What do you mean he doesn’t know football?” Grumbles your dad, dragging your trunk up the stairs to your parents’ little two-bedroom flat while you carry your owl in her cage and your broom. As usual, he refuses to let you help him by using magic.

“They don’t watch football in the wizarding world, Dad.”

“What did you say his name was again? McLaggen? Where in Scotland is he from?”

“Er, Surrey.”

“What?!” He stops on the landing of the close to hold onto the railing and catch his breath.

“He’s English.”

“With a name like McLaggen?”

You nod. You were braced for this reaction.

“Och, for fuck sake. He’s English and he doesn’t even watch the Premier League?” You shake your head and he continues heaving the trunk. “I mean I could manage if he was at least an Arsenal fan but, Christ…”

“He’s into sports. I mean, we both play Quidditch,” you say, putting your key in the door and letting him inside. 

“Is he any good?”

“Yeah, pretty good. He’s a Keeper too.”

“Not as good as you, though?”

“Never.”

“That’s my lass. You inherited your talent from the best.”

You laugh. Your dad coaches a lower-division football team and was a Goalkeeper himself in his youth. His insistence that you played football growing up is probably why you excelled at Quidditch so quickly. 

Your mum greets you in the hallway with a hug.

“And has she told you about the English boyfriend who’s coming to visit?” Your dad calls to her and you sigh.

You count down the days until McLaggen is finally due to apparate on the spare bit of ground behind your flat. Thinking that there would be a lot in the muggle world for him to take in, you timed his arrival for when your parents weren’t home so you could explain everything.

You sit on a crumbling red brick wall at the edge of the patchy grassy field behind your building, looking at your Casio watch - it works again now that you’re outside the magical boundaries of Hogwarts. Right on cue at noon, you hear a shot, like a car backfiring and McLaggen appears - broom in hand and a backpack over his shoulders.

“Made it without splinching yourself then?” 

“I dunno, are both my eyebrows still there?” He touches them with a thumb and forefinger. It’s been hardly any time at all since you saw him last but you’ve missed that stupid face.

You leap off the wall to hug him and he picks you up with ease, scooping you up with his free arm and kissing your cheek when you wrap your legs around his waist. 

“Did you get taller?” You ask, stumbling when he finally puts you down.

“In a week? Unlikely.”

You offer to carry his broom but instead, McLaggen takes your hand and you walk around the side of the building to the front door. He does a double take when you use your electronic key fob to release the main door and it buzzes to let you in.

“That’s… electricity right?”

“Well remembered. Keep that in mind if there’s anything you don’t understand. It’s probably just electricity.”

“Got it.”

“My mum and dad are both at work so they won’t be back til tonight.” His broad shoulders relax slightly as he follows you up the four flights of stairs and you unlock the door to the flat with a set of keys. “I thought it would give me time to show you how some of this muggle stuff works.” You shut the door behind you and lead him down the hall.

“This is me,” you say opening your bedroom door. 

He looks stunned when he steps through the threshold to your bedroom.

“I know. It’s tiny but I’m hardly ever here, I suppose.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… really pink.”

You laugh, looking at your fuchsia walls adorned with posters of bands, the Holyhead Harpies and the football team you follow. It’s probably pretty overwhelming if you’re not used to it.

“Surprised? You ask, sitting down on your double bed that’s pushed up against the wall of your little bedroom. “Just dump your stuff anywhere by the way.”

“I was picturing blue. For obvious reasons.” He shrugs his bag off of his shoulder, not really noticing where it falls as he stands at your wall, looking closely at your peeling No Doubt poster. “It’s kind of creepy how their eyes follow you around even though they don’t move.”

“Hey, don’t call Gwen Stefani creepy in this house.”

“Does she play football?”

“Not that I know of. She’s in a muggle band. American. Most of these guys are,” you say as he looks around your room. You lean back on your elbows. “I mean, you know NSYNC, right?”

He looks at your other posters and shakes his head.

“Come off it - even Marietta knows NSYNC.”

“I’ve never heard any muggle music.”

“You’re missing out. Better than The Weird Sisters. Definitely better than Celestina Warbeck.”

“Don’t say that in front of my mum… hey, at least there’s one thing I recognise.” He wanders over to your open bedroom window where your little grey barn owl perches on the window ledge. He extends his hand to greet her. She looks at it disdainfully, turns and spreads her wings to fly off into the distance. You think she’s annoyed that you haven’t been writing to him.

“I hope that’s not a bad omen for meeting your family.”

It gives you a fuzzy feeling in your chest, seeing him in your room like this. This time last summer you’d never have thought Cormac McLaggen would be in your bedroom. Or that you’d actually want him to be here. You watch him as McLaggen looks at the photos stuck to your dressing table mirror interestedly. Polaroids of you and him, some group photos of you, Cho and Marietta, and a few of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. 

“I can bring those with me to yours, if you want? You know, for your mum’s album…”

“Oh, haha,” he says sarcastically, joining you on the bed. “There’s a picture missing though...” He scans the room before reaching over to your bedside table to open the drawer. You lurch forward and try to slam it shut.

“Don’t look in my drawers!”

“Is that picture of me in there?” 

That stupid trademark arrogant smile makes you blush furiously.

“No!” You lie, crawling over his lap to get between him and the table.

“It is!” He says with a mock gasp. “Come on, let me see!” You struggle but he dodges your grasp and opens the drawer. “I knew it!”

“You’re insufferable,” you grumble as he picks out the Polaroid before you can slam it shut.

“My shoulders look great,” he smirks, admiring himself in the photo. It’s one you took at the Seventh Year party, of him at the edge of the pool, drinking a beer. 

His shoulders do look great. 

So does the rest of him. 

It’s why you keep it in your bedside drawer.

“You should have it if you like it so much.”

“Nah, I like that you like it.” He looks round to see you pursing your lips. “Alright! I’ll put it back-”

“No, wait!”

He opens the drawer again and pauses.

Shit.

“What is this?”

He’s spotted what you didn’t want him to see in the first place. A small, silicone bullet vibrator. You’re hoping he’ll have no idea what it’s for.

He holds the picture in one hand and the vibrator in the other, looking between them.

“Wait… does this go in…?” He makes a juvenile stabbing motion.

“It’s none of your business where it goes.” Your cheeks feel red hot. “Put it back.”

“You’re blushing - it does!” His face lights up with glee. 

“It does not.”

“It’s so small. No wonder you were so impressed.” 

“I told you it doesn’t go inside of me. It - ugh.” You sigh. “I hold it against me.”

“You just hold it? Does that - I mean, how does that feel good?”

You extend your palm and he drops it in your hand. It starts vibrating when you press the button at the bottom. 

His eyes go wide. “And how- ?” You raise an eyebrow. “Right, sorry, electricity.”

You turn it off and reach over him to put it back but he grabs your wrist.

“Cormac -”

“Show me.”

“What?” You look at him and feel butterflies erupt in your stomach. He’s deadly serious.

“Come on, you said I never did it right. Show me how you touch yourself”

“You know I never meant that. I was just pissed off.”

“Oh, I know you didn’t.” The confident look on his face sends a tingle down your spine - he’s always so sure of himself. “But you’re gonna pay for saying that.” Fuck. It makes you wet thinking about how he’s going to make you pay for it. How does he know exactly how to press your buttons? To make you fold like this?

McLaggen puts his picture down and leans in to kiss you. His tongue parts your lips and you welcome it, letting him roll his tongue across yours. You’ve been dying to kiss him like this again since the night in the Prefect’s Bathroom. And now, you finally have him alone.

“I missed you,” you breathe when he moves his lips to kiss your neck. 

You really have. The last time you had sex was over four months ago on Valentine’s Day. And sure, most of your Quidditch practises with him between December and March had ended up under the canvas stands getting hot and heavy - the pair of you fumbling under each other’s robes - but you haven’t even seen each other naked since February. 

“When are your parents back?”

You pull back and look at the watch on your wrist. “Like four hours.”

“Wait what is that?” He asks, looking down at the digital display.

“A watch -” You say, between kisses. “Electricity. I’ll explain later. Just kiss me. Please.”

The fuzzy feeling in your chest spreads down to your abdomen and you pull yourself onto his lap, drawing your leg over his to straddle him. 

Cormac lies back on the bed to rest on your pillows and your mouth follows his. You feel his hands move from your waist to squeeze your backside. His erection presses against you through his jeans as you suck on his bottom lip. When you trail kisses across his jaw and down his neck, you can feel the way his muscles tense as he swallows.

He tugs the hem of your t-shirt up and over your head and you urgently pull his off too. 

Fuck, he looks even better than your picture of him.

Your hands work quickly to undress him and he does the same, his strong hands yanking your jeans and underwear down as you kiss him and run your hands over his bare chest. You climb on top of him again, positioning your hips over his large, flushed cock so that the underside of him is engulfed between your wet lips. 

“Where’s that… thing?” He finds your discarded vibrator on the bed and hands it to you. “C’mon let me see how you use it.”

“What, sitting you you like this?”

“Yeah.” He raises his eyebrow, daring you to do it.

You take it and bite your lip. For some reason, you feel thoroughly embarrassed about touching yourself for him.

“Can’t we just…?” You put his large hands on your hips and grind back, along the thick length of him and feel him twitching between your folds.

“I thought you were gonna show me how all this muggle stuff worked?” Cormac’s eyes drift down your body as he guides your hand clutching the vibrator down to your clit. “I want to start by seeing how you touch yourself when you’re thinking about me.”

“You’re so sure I’m thinking about you?” You tease, switching it on. Fuck. You hold it against yourself and immediately feel your nerve endings light up under the stimulation. 

“I know you do. Maybe not as much as I think about you.”

“You do?” You squirm against the steady vibration on your clit. 

“Every fucking night.” He reaches up to cup your face. His thumb draws across your parted lips and you open your mouth to suck on it. You moan, feeling everything inch of your skin tingling.

His hand drags down your neck to your chest, groping your breast before settling on your hip again. “I - Maybe I think about you too, then,” you whisper, meeting his eyes when his hands move your body, encouraging you to keep moving back and forth. Those green eyes bore into yours - you go weak from the prolonged eye contact. 

“Don’t give me that look, fuck, I can’t take it,” he pleads.

“What look?”

“The same one you gave me when you drank that love potion. Fuck, when you were begging me to take you… you know what it does to me when you beg for me.”

The vibration on your clit and the way his cock pulses underneath you make your vision hazy.

“I’m begging you now, Cormac… please. I want you inside me.”

You tilt forward so that the tip of his cock presses against your slick entrance. Sinking back, you moan as you feel his thick length stretching you, slowly filling you up. Cormac’s tight grip forces your hips to bear down on him and you whine when he sheathes himself fully, hitting deep in your centre.

“You look so fucking pretty like this, baby.”

He watches as you lean back to brace yourself on his thigh with your free hand. You pull your hips up and sink slowly back down on him, feeling him pushing into you. The strong vibrations on your clit and how his cock presses into your G-spot make you start to see stars behind your eyelids. Using your vibrator on its own, thinking about him every night this past week felt good but fuck, you never imagined how it would feel with him here under you, inside you at the same time.

“I know it’s not right but I wanted to fuck you in that shower - so badly,” he says, running his hands up your body to squeeze your tits.

You know it wasn’t right either, but Christ, you wanted him to. Every day you spent with him at school after the seventh-year party when you could kiss him, touch him, but never fuck him made you ache. You found yourself in your dormitory late at night with the curtains of your four-poster drawn, face buried in your pillow and fingers working in your underwear, quietly making yourself cum so the other girls couldn’t hear.

“I would have let you. Shit - I’ll let you fuck me anywhere. In the shower, on the pitch… anywhere you want -” You curse when he pinches your nipples.

“Don’t say that. It’s all I’ve been thinking about.”

You can imagine him too, alone at night in Gryffindor Tower fucking his own hand thinking about you whimpering against his chest, rubbing your clit and pleading with him to fuck you while every fibre of his being resisted temptation.

You can hear how wet you are over the buzzing from your vibrator - the slick sound of his cock sliding in and out of your pussy makes you pick up your pace, your walls squeezing around him and the intense vibrations pulsing on your clit as you chase your high. 

“Yeah, that’s it. Keep fucking yourself on my dick.”

That’s exactly what it feels like like you’re getting yourself off for him. You almost forget about his pleasure while you use his thick cock as a means to your end as he watches you riding up and down on him. 

McLaggen stares up at you, mesmerised by the way your face contorts in pleasure - your parted lips and heavy lids painting a picture of uninhibited gratification. He grabs your hips again - hard - just to watch your expression change, to see if he can make your facial muscles scrunch up and cause sweet noises to escape you.

He can.

His thumbs dig careless bruises into your hipbones driving himself deeper into you as you set a frantic rhythm, bouncing on his cock.

“Ah - fuck, Cormac. I’m gonna cum,” you whimper and his thigh tenses under your hand as you bear down on him, feeling white-hot pleasure deep in your core.

“That’s right, make yourself cum for me,” he says through gritted teeth, his eyes locked on your body - staring at the way your tits bounce and your hand presses the little buzzing object against your clutch of nerves.

The heat spills over and everything clamps down on him tight as ecstasy erupts burning hot through your body. The white noise of blood rushing in your ears overwhelms you as you cum all over his cock, riding out the wave of pleasure engulfing you.

You toss the vibrator aside and slump over him, pressing your face into the juncture of his shoulder. Your chest finds his and you cling to his broad shoulders as he fucks up into you, manically jerking his hips with a pummelling force that makes you let out adoring whimpers for him, your lips pressed onto his skin.

He wraps his arms around your back, keeping his tight grip on you for leverage. Every thrust make the broken sounds from your lips pitch higher and higher. You’re not sure where your last orgasm stopped and this one is beginning. 

“Fuck, you make such pretty noises when you cum.”

His name leaves your lips over and over and over, in sync with the slamming of his hips into yours. God, he feels good from this angle. Cormac groans through gritted teeth when you say his name, and he responds by jackhammering his cock into you. You stifle your cry by biting down on his neck, not caring whether you’ll leave a bruise or not. Your mind goes blank with pleasure - no thoughts - just your body locking down so tight around him as everything implodes inside you again.

You feel his ragged grunt in your ear as he drives up into your cunt, burying himself so deep that his thighs meet the back of yours as he cums inside you. His grunting turns into low breathy moans that make him sound so wonderfully, so beautifully pathetic as his release coats your insides.

Cormac’s hips come to a halt and he brings his muscular arms around your shoulder blades. His biceps hold you close to his chest in a tight embrace as his cum leaks out of you onto your bedsheets. Post-orgasmic bliss flows between you - you feel the rise and fall of his chest in time with yours. Every inhale and exhale seems to pass between you like the tide rolling over sand. 

Lying here on top of him, you realise your legs are aching from working them so hard. You softly kiss his bitten neck and he pulls out of you so you can climb off of him, rolling onto your back to lie next to him on your pillows and staring at the ceiling, letting your heart rate decrease again.

He turns on his side and props himself up on his elbow to look down at you.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” says Cormac tracing his fingertips across your chest and down the curve of your waist. It tickles pleasantly.

“Naked?” You laugh.

“That too,” he grins. “Just… comfortable. Not sneaking around under the stands or freezing cold on a blanket.”

“For the record, I enjoyed both of those things.” You reach up to cup his handsome face and you feel the scratchy texture of his chin when he kisses your palm. “But you’re right. This is nice. Maybe living with you won’t be that bad.”

“You should bring this,” he says, picking up your vibrator and looking at it interestedly. “Is the other muggle stuff you were going to show me as good as this?”

“That depends… have you ever had vodka?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and McLaggen sit on your bed listening to music. Your head rests on his lap as you read Quidditch Through The Ages while he flicks through your copy of Rolling Stone, frequently asking questions. 

He lifts his head, listening to Oasis playing on your CD player.

“Is all muggle music just about other people?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like are they all just love songs?”

You lower your book to look up at him from his lap. “I’ve never really thought about it. I guess all the good ones are.”

“Hmm.” He flips a page of your magazine nonchalantly. “It’s kind of cheesy.”

“Oh sorry, it’s not extremely cool like wizard music. All your stuff is about goblins and ghouls.”

“It is not.”

“Name a Weird Sisters track that doesn’t have a reference to magical creatures.”

He pauses, stumped.

You hear the front door unlock. “That’ll be my dad home,” you say, without looking up. Your head hits the mattress with a thud as McLaggen springs to his feet and runs a hand through his hair nervously. “It’s fine. He’s nice,” you say, putting your book down.

“Has he ever met one of your boyfriends or girlfriends before?”

“Er, no.”

“It’s different. Trust me.”

There’s a knock at your bedroom door and a pause.

“Come in,” you call.

“Alright, hen?” asks your dad and you nod. He looks at Cormac who’s standing in the middle of the room uncertainly. “You must be McLaggen.”

McLaggen extends his hand. “It’s good to meet you, Mr -”

“Nope, none of that,” says your dad, grasping his hand and releasing it quickly. He insists McLaggen calls him by his first name. “Look, your mum is working late. Do you fancy a kickabout before dinner? Both of you.” He adds to McLaggen.

“Dad -”

“Yeah, I’m up for that,” says McLaggen, slightly too enthusiastically and you roll your eyes. 

God, he’s such a suck-up.

“Right, get your stuff. Let’s go.”

You groan when your dad shuts the door. “You idiot - you’ve got no idea what you’ve just agreed to.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The three of you walk to the deserted park and you pull on your goalkeeper gloves as you approach the rusty old goals.

“Dad, McLaggen’s never even kicked a ball before.”

“Yeah, I have. I’m just usually mid-air, that’s all.”

“It’s a piece of piss,” says your dad, setting himself up to take a penalty as you find your line on the goal. “Plant your left foot, kick with your right, right through your laces.”

Your dad kicks the ball - you misjudge it and he scores as the ball speeds right past your feet into the net.

“How many times have I told you to practice those bottom corners?”

“There’s no ‘bottom corners’ in Quidditch. And that’s what I should be practising right now.”

“That’s not strictly true,” McLaggen pipes up. “The ball can always go in low if the Chaser’s coming from above.”

“Can you stop contradicting me for one second?” You ask, passing the ball back to your dad.

“Big mistake, lad. You can’t argue with her - she’s always right,” laughs your dad and McLaggen smirks.

You narrow your eyes, shooting daggers at them.

“Here.” Your dad passes the ball to McLaggen. “Give it a go.”

He attempts a penalty and you watch the ball soar over the goal and land miles away. You do a quick check for any muggles and pull out your wand.

“Accio ball.” 

It zooms back over to you and you knock it back to McLaggen. He kicks it again and you catch it mid-air.

“Better!”

Your dad looks unimpressed but he and McLaggen continue taking turns trying to score. Your dad gets a few more past you but McLaggen gets zero, occasionally sending the ball so far it needs to be summoned back again.

“Right, I’m burst. One of you go in,” you say, stripping off your gloves.

“Yeah, go on then,” says McLaggen, jogging over and taking them from you. “Can see if it’s as easy as you make it look.” He grins.

“Just wait.”

Your dad lines up to take a penalty but you nudge him out of the way to take the first shot. “Don’t be too hard on him,” you say under your breath and he tuts.

You punt an easy shot McLaggen’s way and he catches it. “I can send it back with my hands if I’m the keeper, right?” He asks.

Your dad nods and McLaggen rolls it with precision so it stops right at his feet. Your dad blinks down at it a few times, clearly surprised by the accuracy.

“Don’t go easy on me this time,” he calls to your dad who pulls his shoulders back, ready for the challenge. 

He kicks it with incredible force into the top corner and McLaggen saves it, catching it in his hands before rolling it back again.

“This is just typical,” you scoff and look at your dad who looks stunned. “He’s good at everything.”

With every shot, your dad seems to perk up. He’s practically beaming when McLaggen dives and manages to knock a shot away with his fingertips.

“This is great!” McLaggen says, getting to his feet with a smile. “Solid ground. Nowhere to fall.”

Your dad has a funny look on his face. 

“You alright?” You ask.

“Yeah…” He clears his throat. “Right, one more or your mum will batter us.”

He shoots, curving the ball towards the goal. Easily his best strike all evening and McLaggen saves it again with ease. He smiles as he runs back over holding the ball.

“Excellent. We should do this again tomorrow,” says McLaggen.

You look at your dad and you think you know what the funny look is. You think he’s in love.

“That was some effort, lad. Are you going pro with Quidditch too?” Your dad asks as you start walking back to the flat, suddenly interested in McLaggen now he knows he can save a ball.

“Ah, no. I’m not as good as your daughter.” He says, actually sounding modest for a change. “I’ve got a job lined up at our Ministry with my dad - Department of Magical Law Enforcement.”

“What, like in an office?”

McLaggen nods.

“What a waste.”

“Dad, don’t be rude -“

“Och, you know I don’t mean it like that. It’s just that a big strapping lad like yourself was made to be a goalie. If this one wasn’t so bloody intent on moving down south -“ He gives you a stern look. “I’d be trying to get you on my team. Christ, you’re better than the dozy bastard I’ve got in goals and he’s been playing all his life.”

“That’s very kind of you to -“

“Look, there’s nothing kind about it. You’re my daughter's boyfriend and I’ve got no interest in flattering you. You’ve got talent, son.”

“Thanks.”

“I still don’t understand why you can’t just live here and just -  pop! Go to Wales and come back every day.”

“Dad, I’ve told you. You can’t apparate that distance twice a day. It’s dangerous.”

“What about once a week? No chance you could pop up from Surrey every weekend to play football up here?” He asks McLaggen.

“Don’t humour him, McLaggen. Dad, he’s not going to drop everything to be a keeper for your team.”

“Well, you should think about it. You’re only eighteen - plenty of time to go pro. I mean look at her - she learned Quidditch in a couple of years.”

“You’re not seriously trying to get him to become a professional footballer after one kickabout.” 

By the time you get to the flat, you’ve had to stop him from changing the conversation back to convincing you and McLaggen to move to Scotland several times.

“Oh my god,” says your mum when she hears you coming up the stairs and opens the door. “You never told us he was handsome.”

“You didn’t? I’m sure you said that’s my only redeeming quality.” The corners of McLaggens mouth twitch slightly when he sees you roll your eyes. 

This makes your mum laugh - a bit too hard. Your dad doesn’t even seem to notice. You’re surprised he hasn’t started giggling too.

After dinner, most of which was spent with your dad plying McLaggen with beer and telling him all about the inner workings of the Scottish Premiership league table while your mum asked him a million questions and giggled like a schoolgirl, you drag him to your bedroom. 

You shut your door behind you and lean against it with a sigh.

“Sorry about that.” You shake your head. “Somehow that was worse than them not liking you.”

He shrugs. “I keep telling you, I’m extremely loveable.”

“Shut up.” You sit on the bed and toss a cushion at him. “Honestly, I think my dad would like a new a son in law. And my mum. God, I think my mum would quite like a new boyfriend the way she was going on.”

He shrugs. “They’re just being nice. It almost made me forget what things were like back in the wizarding world.”

“How bad is it? I can’t bear to look at The Prophet.”

“It’s getting worse. My dad has been working late and when I do see him, he looks terrible. My mum’s just anxious all the time... I should probably write to them and let her know I’m okay here. Can I use your owl?”

He sits down at your makeup table and writes a quick note to his mum and dad.

“I sort of wish we could just stay here,” he looks up as he folds the parchment.

“What? Like in the muggle world?”

“Yeah, I mean the sex is good, music is decent, football is… actually really good.”

“Sex is good and football is ‘really good’?”

“You know what I mean.”

“You should stay here with my dad. Start a new life as a muggle footballer.” McLaggen gives you a small smile and looks down at the parchment, turning it in his hands. “So what does your dad do at Department for Magical Law Enforcement? Does he like, manage the Aurors or something?”

“No, he writes legislation, lobbies to get it through the Ministry - that kind of thing.”

“And you’re going to be doing that too?” McLaggen nods. “God help us all then. Cormac McLaggen writing the laws that shape the fabric of wizarding society.”

“First thing I’ll be doing is making the use of Incendio punishable by ten years in Azkaban.”

“Hopefully your dad likes me as much as my dad likes you. It would be handy to have someone high up in the Ministry to bust me out when you put me behind bars.”

He laughs which turns into a yawn. “Where am I sleeping, by the way?”

You look at him sceptically. “Er, here?”

“And your parents are alright with that?”

“Yeah?”

“Just to warn you, mine won’t be. They’ll want us in separate rooms.”

“Better make the most of it then,” you smile, pulling your top off and finding your cutest pyjamas in your bedside drawer. You don’t get the chance to put them on before McLaggen’s lips find yours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next two weeks fly by in a blur - between Quidditch practice in a secluded field away from the outskirts of the city, McLaggen insisting on teaching you defensive spells and your dad dragging you both out to the park every night to play football you feel a lot more prepared for both your Holyhead Harpies tryouts and whatever going back to the wizarding world will bring.

On Saturday morning, as you and McLaggen pack your things getting ready to leave, there’s a knock at your bedroom door.

“Are you decent?” Comes your dad’s voice.

You roll your eyes. “Yes, come in.”

“You feeling ready, hen?”

“As I’ll ever be,” you say, bracingly, holding your broom upright.

He looks at you, glowing with pride. “They’ll be lucky to have you.”

You nod, nerves swirling in the pit of your stomach. Today’s the day.

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to come back here after?”

“We promised McLaggen’s parents we’d visit them. I’ll keep in touch though. I’ll send you an owl when I find out if they’re signing me.”

“And I don’t suppose you’ve decided you want a career in Scottish football, after all?”

McLaggen grins. He and your dad have been getting on so well - mostly due to the fact McLaggen’s only been getting better and better at football. “I wish. My dad would kill me if I turned down the ministry job.”

“Well, you’re welcome in our house any time, son.”

You sling your bag over your shoulder and kiss your dad on the cheek goodbye.

“We’ll visit when the football season starts. McLaggen was just telling me he wants to come to one of your games.”

Your dad has that funny look again on his face. McLaggen reaches out to shake his hand but instead, your dad pulls him into a hug. “A waste. A bloody waste,” he sobs.

McLaggen looks at you over your dad’s shoulder slightly bemused and pats his back.

“Dad?” You interrupt. He pulls away, wiping his eyes. “Right, tell mum I love her and I’ll see you both soon.”

“Alright, hen. Keep her safe for me. She’s precious cargo,” he adds and McLaggen nods solemnly.

He shuts your bedroom door and you take McLaggen’s hand, ready to apparate to Holy Island.

“I think he’s going to miss you more than he’ll miss me,” you laugh.

You think hard about your destination and with a crack like a whip, the pair of you vanish from your childhood bedroom.

Chapter 11: Blood Traitor

[marty-parties]

Happy September 15th! Which, if you didn't know, is 'leave a comment day.' I could be wrong though, since my source is a poll i took on my other blog - either way, i've come up with a fun idea.

In honour of ‘leave a comment day’ i’ve made a list of all of my favourite fanfics/authors that I can think of atm, and I wanna leave a nice little note about them and their work! This isn’t in any particular order, tbh it’s mostly me going through my AO3 bookmarks and re-reading all of my fav fanfic, haha. 

I honestly had no idea 'leave a comment day’ was a thing, and if you didn’t either, show your favourite authors that you appreciate them! Anything from a heart emoji, or a key smash, or an insightful/heartfelt comment will do wonders in terms of showing/being appreciated.

A lot of these fics below have influenced me in some way, big or small, into how/what I write today. I guess I wanted to give thanks where I could. (It’s also just really sick to make a doc full of your favourite things,and I highly implore you to do it too, even if you don’t wanna post it. (That's totally fair, no pressure.) I keep going over in my mind what I like about each fic and ‘oh, this fic is different from that, but it’s still fantastic, oh and this fic, too,’ etc. it’s such a fun little snowball effect of positivity, i definitely recommend you do this if you have time and need a pick me up, haha.)

Little note, here, If you’ve seen that I’ve read your fic, but found you’re not on the list - it’s not that I don’t like you/or work! I probably very well did enjoy it! I found as I was making this list it was taking a lot of my free time. (Free time that i’d rather like to use writing or reading more, haha.) And, I feel like this list is already so wickedly long ‘cause I can't shut my mouth to save my life, to add more might be a little bit much to read all in one go. 😅

So, please don’t be upset if that’s the case! ily *mwah* 

Also, there’s a few nsfw fics mention at the end, so if you’re a minor, pls buzz off,  that content isn’t for you! I also recommend you check the links on some of these fics. I think I’ve included warnings where I think they’re due, but you know yourself better than i do. And, who knows, I might’ve accidentally missed a tag or two - So, please take care of yourself out there! 

You’ll notice i’ve either included a source for either the authors tumbr, or AO3. I originally was going to try and do both, but i lost steam. Each story is linked to their author, on some site, promise. 

Last thing, most of these fics are in the undertale fandom, tbh. It’s been my ride or die since highschool, so i’ve got a lot of love and things to say. You won’t find any frans or foncest here, i’m a reader insert girlie, simply put, and I don't care much for those tags on the fics i read. 

Quick legend here:

Complete = complete work

Ongoing = still updating / i think they’re still update

Incomplete = either hiatus, or just incomplete

So, without further ado- 

 Road Side Attraction (Ongoing, teen+ rating) and Dirty Laundry (Complete, teen+ rating)

By Popatochisp  (AO3) / popattochisp (Tumbr)

I’m going to be grouping together fics by author. Usually when I find one I really like, i really lurk around their tumblr/AO3 for others, haha.

–AND because I can’t think of one fic without the other. I find myself going back to read them both quite frequently, usually on rotation,  they’re my little bedtime stories i keep on repeat in my mind, lol. 

I mean, if you’re in the undertale fandom how can you not know about pop? For me, them (and luluwrites, among a few others i can’t remember rn,) –were really impactful to me growing up, as I think it was to a lot of people. (Tbh they’re still impactful, actually. I find myself going back even pretty often to read the same fics I read in high school.) They’re like the one piece of media you read in English class in high school that sticks with you throughout your adult life. (Looking at you, monkey’s paw.)

Pop has like 1,000 different au’s to choose from, all with fantastic and deep characterizations and lore.( I don’t know how they do it, i’m only writing a/b ONE skeleton rn, and i feel like a hamster on a wheel trying to get his characterization right.  I couldn’t imagine doing that for every single au they have. God damn.) 

I especially love Roadside Attraction, because of how easily i can relate to it? I’m deep in the sticks, a town more populated by livestock and people. When I read this, I can really put myself i MC’s shoes - b/c i’ve been there! (Hah, maybe not the dating skeletons part, granted, lol.) But it’s such a fantastic read, I love any and all media that has a vibe that it could take place in like a   rural Montana. (think scenes in Twilight. Tall spruce/pine trees, misty morning, the possibility of seeing bigfoot, that sorta thing.) 

And Dirty Laundry? Come on, dude. What a love letter to the swapfell universe, truly. If you haven't read it, you gotta. The world building, and the changing POV’s are so damn good, that every chapter feels crisp, and like you’ve got a really good inside scoop of each character. You can’t knock the characterization in this one, fellas. All the dynamics are so dead on - how Sans and Papyrus interact, how Sans and Alphys – dude, even how Sans and Toriel interact read so deeply in character. Everyone’s motives and ideas make sense to each character and the conflict that it  brings. Big fan. 10/10, will definitely read again and again. (There’s also a ‘Menswear addition, where the reader has he/him pronouns if that’s your cup of tea!) 

Bones Picked Clean (Incomplete, teen+ rating) and) Apéritifs (Ongoing, Mature rating)

By Skelezbian (tumblr) / luluwrites (on AO3)

Woof, where do I start?? I think Bones Picked Clean is another one of the first fics I remember being a really impactful piece of undertale fanwork that stuck with me. I know they’re not the one who created the whole ‘lodge’ scenario, (if you know, you know. Thank you @Tyrant_Tortoise, we’ll be seeing you next,) but they put a spin on it that is so interesting to see. The problems feel very realistic, like something that can easily happen in a house full of busy bodies with not enough communication. And, ohmygod the MC. My first love, truly. You get to see each set of skeleton brother’s, and watch how MC’s befriends them all. Granted, they have a track record of putting themselves in dangerous situations, for reasons revealed in the fic, but they’ve got a heart of gold, and a PHD in being a sweetheart.

The horrortale boys really shine here. I haven’t read much horrortale centric fanfics, but I really like the soft horrorale’ spin. The healing after the damage, the sunshine after the storm, watching the fauna overgrow, etc. I love watching characters grow when love is shown, and here, you can really see it here. I love domesticity, and using food as a love language– which is something this fic has in spades!

(I also love love swapfell characterization in this fic, chapter 13 does a REALLY good job of walking you through the mindspace of sf pap. But in terms of favourties, i’d have to say that would be Chapter 18. You get to see sf pap’s relationship with his brother!  You really see/understand their dynamic, and how they really act as brothers behind closed doors. The other reason it’s a favourite is the inherit domesticity! Maybe I’m a sucker for the normie, slice of life, but how MC and sans chit chat at the start of the chapter is so cute! )

Warning: mention of past cannibalism, past murder, past abuse? I think that’s it, maybe check the tags to be sure. They sound scary, but I promise it’s a very sweet story. 

Ohh, Apéritifs. First of all, what a clever name! I’m a sucker for word play, and this title alone really did it for me, haha. (if you don’t get it, please google ‘define Apéritifs’, and you’ll be just as jazzed as me.)  They’re three stand alone one-shots featuring a  different skeleton each chapter. I will say, I think chapter 3 is my fav. It’s actually heavily inspired me to make one of my one shots - it’s that good! I love the world building in it, as well. Really, you can’t go wrong. (Lulu really knows how to nail flirty dialogue, in very funny ways. ‘“so, you a fan of spare ribs, or just mine?”’ (ch. 3 – Apéritifs) KILLS ME, oh my god, what a funny flirty little one-liner. 

Skeleton Squatters and The LandLady (Incomplete, teen+ rating)

By Tyrant_Tortoise (AO3) tyranttortoise (Tumblr)

Man– SSLL walked so we all could run. The amount of ‘lodge’ type fanfic dynamic i’ve seen, BECAUSE of this fic is wild. I might be wrong in saying this, but I think they were the one who came up with the whole ‘lodge’ type scenario, like all the reverse harems with all the au’s. 

I haven’t read anything of theirs in a long time, but I wanna pay my respects where respects are due. Tyrant made one hell of an influential fanfic, enough so, that I’m pretty sure if I had a timeline of fandom evolution on undertale alone– I think there would be a noticeable difference in the before and after SSLL.  Which, is so sick!! To have influenced a whole fandom with a concept that we’re still seeing it years later? (I get that trends sorta tend to last longer in fandoms than they do irl, but isn’t that such a neat thing to think about?) 

I’m going to age myself (and maybe you, reading this a bit, but–) the first chapter was posted in 2017. 2017! Isn’t that nuts to think about? I was literally 17 at the time. No WONDER it stuck with me, my teenage brain was looking for all the  serotonin it could get from fandoms.  (wow. Things haven't changed all that much for me, haha. 

Skeleton Ex Machina (Incomplete, teen+ rating)

By Cryptid_jack (AO3)

Ohh, okay, for all the SSLL fans out there, you probably already know who cryptid_jack is. And if not, I'll gladly tell you!

They’ve made this cool ass AI AU (it’s a LOT cooler than it sounds, I promise!) in their words, ‘a fanfic of a fanfic’ that’s actually in Skeleton Squatters and The LandLady (see above.) I’d recommend reading SSLL to fully understand this - although, if you’re good at picking up context clues, or maybe don’t mind missing some context, I don’t necessarily think you’d have to, since jack does a really good job of showing the reader everything that’s going on. (although, i really  recommend you do.)

I think this au is so cool, it’s literally tagged as ‘Quarantine Sans’ (which, i’ll be the first to say, that maybe that name didn’t hold up too well, with recent 2020 events, an’ all that. Pandemic aside, it’s a cool name for an AU!) 

It’s also really fun to see two friends in the fandom interact with each other's works like this. Even reading the note at the start of the fic, you can just feel the camaraderie and care that went into paying each other's proper respects. 

Big big ups, hats off to proper manners and friendship!

All’s Fair In Love and (Prank) War (Incomplete, teen+ rating)

By torrikor (AO3)

Ohh, this is a short and sweet 2 chapter read. I don’t the author is going to circle back to it, but i suggest you read it anyways! the idea is so so good! In essence, MC and sf sans are roommates, and MC starts a prank war. I love love love their dynamic, their bickering is a real treat to read, that, coupled with their size difference? Sign me up!

My Favorite Thing (Complete, teen+ rating) and A Conversation Starter ( Complete, teen+ rating) 

By peachwhimzy (AO3) peachwhimzy-things (Tumblr)

I’m a slut for their characterization of sf pap here, oh my god. Both are so so good, and i know  i must sound like a broken record by saying I love how this author interpreted his character - but i can’t help it! So many people have good ideas and ways to showcase a character! Sue me.  

A Conversation Starter is another one that’s inspired me to write a little one-shot. It’s so fantastically written, sf Papyrus and MC are at a bus station, both the first human and monster either have met. The world building is subtle, but wonderfully done. MC is so damn cute in this, and so is Papyrus, who’s really just trying to keep the conversation going, lol. There’s a delightful slice of life aspect to this. 

Honestly, a lot of of Peach’s work feel very domestic, and sweet, and romantic. Sorta like i’m reading a studio Ghibli movie. Do yourself a favour and go check em out!

Late Night Shift Romance (Complete, teen+ rating)

By Inumaru12 (AO3)

The one fic on here that’s not a romance,how about that. (I guess that’s not technically true. There's possibly something budding, if you squint. I always read it as platonic friendship- it’s fanfic! Read it with whatever context you’d like!)

Burgerpants and MC are at the same convenient store late at night, and there’s a robbery. Friendship ensues. I love seeing the background character of undertale, and honestly, who doesn't relate to Burgerpants? Perpetually working shitty minimum wage jobs, trying to chase his dreams - that’s rough. I appreciate a character who can give a nod to class solidarity.. I think Inmuaru12 did so well writing his character, it feels like he was plucked out of the game himself, haha. 

My Dearly Detested Delivery Man, (Complete, teen+ rating) and Black Coffee (Complete, general audiences rating) 

By Little_old_lady (AO3)

Lol yet another set of swap fics, haha. (Yet another great example of different interpretations of the swapfell au!)

My Dearly Detested Delivery man is so  fun, I love an ‘enemies to friends to lovers’ type of fic. I love the dialogue, it’s so funny! Like almost sitcom-esk with how good the one liners are. I think my favourite thing about writing fanfic is the dialogue- but reading what other authors have cooked up is such a treat, too. I love seeing authors with a certain brand of wit/cleverness they think the character would have, and seeing their own comedy bleed through, too sometimes. Little_old_lady does a good job showing the reader what you can gleam from the characters with how they talk to each other, in a way that sets the tone for their relationship. (whether it’s platonic, romantic, etc.)  There’s so many ways you can show friendship, but I think the “passion” (lmao I don’t know what else to call it!)  that’s at the heart of any argument is what can create the difference between friends arguing, vs two people who could be more. (Better put, I think what I like about two characters arguing is the sorta obvious chemistry it can create.) 

Black Coffee does a good job about that too! I’ll be the first and last to say that I love any characters whose love language is ‘argue’ (lol even though irl I wouldn’t last long in any relationship like that, haha. ) I can be hit or miss with a soulmate au, but there’s another layer that I think undertale adds another level to in a soulmate au-since the game established that monsters and magic are real— that it almost feels a little more plausible of an au, than say, a soulmate AU of parks and rec? (no hate on the au or parks and rec, haha. I guess it just feels more “realistic” being that undertale is already a world made of magic, that magical soulmates, is one more step into weird that also makes sense?) I also love the bro-ship mc has with pap, in this one. Coming from someone who’s constantly worked retail/with customers one-on-one, somedays you want to go ape shit, so it’s nice to see an MC who can.

Half Your Age Plus Seven (Complete, teen+ rating) 

By KassyKins

Ohhh, what a little treat this was to read. Tragedy! Romance! Love-rivalry! (NOT a love triangle!) People just Trying to do their best, they’ve got it all! This is another MC i’m in love with. They know what they love, and what they’re passionate about, but when push comes to shove, they’ll choose their family over themselves every single time. I think it’s a very admirable trait to have, integrity, and the ability to self-sacrifice.  I think those two tropes/characteristics can really lead a story in so many interesting directions - weather it be an MC who’s too self-sacrificing, giving parts of themselves to everyone, leaving nothing for themselves, or an MC who’s pushing themselves through the ringer trying to do what they think is right according to their integrity, burning them up in the process.  In this particular case, it’s maybe a little bit of both, coupled with (sad) a slice of life meet cute, with a healthy dose of growing pains. 

There’s something about it that always hits extra hard to me, the ‘thrust into the lime light, or power, or a position they have no business being in. But, they’ve got people on the line, their people to take care of, so by god they’ll try.’ There’s something so tragic and poetic about it – but who knows, maybe I'm waxing poetic about the eldest daughter trope. 

This fic really nicely written, and there’s so many fun hijinks and shenanigans in there to make you chuckle. Featuring another MC who’s able to shout at their boss and get away with it- big ups from me, lets goooooo working class!

Fair warning, this is a notable age gap from MC and swapfell gold sans. It is talked about in the story as well. I personally don’t mind it too much, but if that’s a no-go from you, you’ve been warned. (Maybe just check the tags on this one, (spoilers!) I know someone gets pregnant later. But, I know that can freak some folks out, so, heads up.) 

There’s some smut mentioned, but it doesn’t go into detail about it, so i’ll leave it above the NSFW section. Just fair warning! (Maybe not a story for minors? I don’t know, read at your own discretion if you are?) 

For the smut mention, be warned that I couldn’t find any age in their bio, do with that what you will. 

And Now It’s Crystal Clear(Complete, teen+ rating)

By nighttimelights (AO3)

Oh, man. What another banger read. 

Fun fact- i read this in . . . highschool? But i forgot the name of the fic,and it took me FOREVER, im talking YEARS before I found it again. I actually gave up the hunt, and just found it again one day– what an utter joy that was for me to rediscover it. I felt like I ran into my highschool sweetheart at the grocery store after not thinking about them in years. 

It’s really cool concept on the whole ‘machine gaster’ situation. I respect someone so damn much who incorporates a bit of sci-sfi in their fics, I have no idea how to write it, but I love to read it/see it in media. So to see it, and understand it, and how it’s relevant to the plot is a real treat!

I also love the ending.  :)

Wish Bone (Ongoing, Explicit rating)

By timeofjuly

I could not, in good conscience make this list without including my bestie, the OG and probably the reason why I'm actually posting what I'm writing today. I really can’t sing their praises high enough – but for the sake of comment day, I sure can try, haha.

July really does a good job of creating a wicked atmosphere in her works. The stark difference between Wish Bone (a political romance drama) and Resisting the Currents (reverse harem, but the gf likes you too. It's linked in the nsfw section, please check it out if you can.) is so incredible – they’re really an author that can do both, haha. Even though both fics are so different, what they have in common is their ability to get you right in your feelings, in whichever way the story calls for. 

In Wishbone  – Flint (the MC) has a bad case of being a massive asshole, that’s verging on becoming chronic. Their paranoia has caused their head to permanently be a swivel, and they’ve developed a taste for their own brand of Justice (however malicious as it is.)  That sounds like the start of a vigilante story, but in all truth, Flint is a dick. Which, is another thing July is great at! Writing MC’s who are assholes! You love to hate them, you hate that you love them! 

This is a MC x sf Pap, and later X sf Sans as well, If you’re hoping for a sappy romance, you’ve come to the wrong place. This is a reluctant soulmate AU fic, a fantastic spin on the traditionally very romantic au, a meet ugly, sort of vibe. If you love arguing, political drama, fantastic world building, and a very, sad, broken MC – you’re going to love this. Hell, even if how I described it doesn’t sound appealing to you – I implore you to check it out anyways. July will absolutely knock you on your ass with her writing. By god, there’s themes, motifs and symbolism that I'm not smart enough to analyse, let alone talk about. Whether July intentionally put them there or not, I have no idea, but they’re there and it adds another layer of depth in a delightfully, painful soul crushing way. 

Go, see what I mean for yourself! 

Tbh, i feel like I could go on forever about what I love about their fics, and my little personal theories on them – but I feel like I already look pretty unhinged. For the sake of my ego, i’ve gotta move on. 

In terms of warnings, I think I sorta covered them? There's Plenty of anger, and hatred, ummm monster phobia? There might be some sorta nsfw stuff down the line, thus the rating, but as it stands now it’s smut free! Just a heads up, I suppose. 

 In Two weeks time and Red is my favorite color

By who_wants_a_muffin (AO3) 

My other current ongoing fav, in two weeks time! Another swapfell sans one, to the surprise of absolute of no one, haha. 

This MC is a dude! A man! Which is a refreshing change up, I don’t think there’s many many fics out there with a male leaning/male dominant MC’s. The characterization of MC is very good, 

is so so good, it’s and X sf sans, and he’s got the exact right amount of snark and sass to keep you coming back, haha. (Or, I guess in this case, he keeps coming back. MC works at the pool he frequents.) Their banter is really fun to read, bordering on bickering, really. They’re almost like a little old married couple, haha. Which is to say, you can really feel the chemistry they have even though they’re basically strangers. 

sf Papyrus is such a little shit in this one, i love it. He’s perpetually the youngest brother, and how Muffin writes him is so snarky and funny, and very endearing. 

The chapters are short and sweet, enough so that you can read it a few times in the same day and still enjoy it, even though his updating schedule is crazy fast! I don’t know how he does it, but they’re just motoring along, haha. I get excited whenever I get an email saying Muffin updated. It’s like a little treat to brighten your week.

I’ve been reading a bit of his other stuff, and he just gets it! Like the dynamic between MC and fell sans in Red in my favorite color, is just perfect. I love the soft!underfell au, and he does a really good job of capturing how underfell sans straddles the line between being a bad boy, and a boy that's not all that bad.

I also love the notes he writes, ‘Hello gays and other assorted sillies!’ (from Chapter 2 in Red in my favorite color,) Like COME ON, that’s so funny! 

– Undertale related 

Bonley Hearts Club (Demo available, Ongoing, teen+ rating) 

Bonely Hearts Club (tumblr) 

owl-bones (tumblr) is the Developer and Director and (self proclaimed! I’m not being mean!) Lead Nerd.  Here is a link to their cast, although it might not be fully updated. (It’s  \a big one, so I'm going to leave it as a link.) 

I don’t even know how to begin to explain my love for Bonely Hearts Club. It’s a fanmade game, made entirely of love, which you can tell, even before you play it. The sprites are so cute, and fantastic, and the writing is so in character and on point, do not get me started on the voice acting - which is also incredible. I’m not kidding, when I first played the demo, I immediately followed the voice actors on tumblr after, haha. 

This is the kinda piece of art that you just stand back and look at it, and just go ‘wow’. It’s such a big undertaking! I know very little about game development, but from what i vault remember from my comp sci class - is that is’s hard. Mad respect from me to Owl, and everyone a part of the team/process. 

This is off topic, but I wonder if Toby Fox has read any of these fics, or played the demo of this dating sim, like in the same way Alex Hursh has played a bit of Swooning Over Stans: A Grunkle Dating Sim. I’d pay serious money to have Toby play the dating sim demo. God, could you imagine the energy in that livestream? It would be goddamn electric.

[ Soul Redacted ] (Completed, teen rating) and The Great Noodle Jape (Completed, teen rating) 

By nighttimepixels (game jolt) nighttimepixels (tumblr) 

// active twitter lethalhoopla  

//active tumblr lethalhoopla

Good god, talk about a . . .what, triple, quadruple threat? There’s nothing nighttimepixels can’t do. They write, they make art, they’ve made two complete games, (and the beginning of another,) and they animate!! Like oh my god! Another love letter to the fandom, everything they do is so so good. 

[Soul Redacted] is a very cool rpg sidescroller explorer/mystery, and i’d say a touche of sci-fi in there, too. It has fantastic writing, and features Q! (from Cryptid_jack au, in Skeleton Squatters and The LandLady fromTyrant_Tortoise  fic! see above for all!) Truth be told, I got a little scared playing this. Granted, I played it at like 2 am in the dark - and I am a coward lol. I don’t think the average person will get scared, but fair warning anyways, haha. 

They’re not into the undertale fandom anymore, I don't think. Which is sad to hear, but also understandable. It’s not fun making art and other creations if you’ve lost that spark there. However, if you’re a mass effect fan, they’re making a bunch of art on their other bog. I personally really love their art style, so i’ll gladly keep checking back. Also, there’s so much undertale content on their blog that you’ll be good for a long while. And if not, you can always go back and look again! If you can’t experience it for the first time, the next best thing is to experience it again. 

Warning: I think there’s some flashing lights at some point? Maybe double check the tags on that one if that’s a concern for you. 

The Great Noodle Jape is so damn cute. As night put it, ‘a visnov style silly whodunit’, which I think it captures it perfectly. The writing is so fun, all the characters feel very well written/in character, and i love how they all interact with each other. As well, the sprites are so fantastic! Night has that kind of art style where you just know it's theirs without needing to confirm. 

No warnings that I could think of, other than you’ll be wishing for the experience of playing it for the first time once you’re done.

– non-Undertale related fics - 

Cult of the Lamb—

The Rehabilitation of Death 

By bamsara (AO3) / bamsara (Tumblr)

WOOF. I am an ‘happy ending angst’ lover, and a ‘energies to lovers slow burn,’ and this fic takes the cake on both regards. Truly, who could pine better than a god, who’s named literally ‘The One Who Waits’? What an aptly named character for one of the major troupes in the fic, haha.

But for all you freaks out there (lol me) who don’t mind horror some of the time, I recommend reading it! Even if you’re not into CoTL, the pining is so goddamn good! (Considering it’s about gods, they’ve been pining for hundreds of years without even knowing it–  the slowest of burns, like oh my GOD.) Bam also is known to post longer chapters- so if you like a read that lasts a couple days, PLEASE do yourself a favour and check it out. I don’t wanna spoil anything, but they’re getting to the part where the main couple is starting to be nice to each other, plus, the subplot B couple is starting to sorta shack up too. There are so many good, funny dynamics that are in this fic, that I don’t have enough words to properly explain them. 

They also make fantastic artwork and sketches for just about each scene in their fics - which for all you visual girlies out there (myself, haha.) I think you’d appreciate it! I wish I was that type of triple threat, but I think i’d burn out too quickly if I was also drawing scenes of my fics – which is why I think it’s so impressive when other authors/artists do it! 

 They do art streams pretty frequently, too, and they make stickers too! A true triple threat, 

Just, fair warning-  like Cult of the Lamb (the game the fic is based off,)  this fic mentions a lot about gore, and death, and mention of cults and religion. So if any of that is a turn off, or something you don’t like to read about, this might not be your cup of tea. 

Non-fanfic Undertale fandom related material– 

FNAF—

Solar Lunacy (Incomplete, Mature)

By BamSara

(I kept these two separate on the account they’re different fandoms, lol) 

I was very briefly into the FNAF fandom, I only read a handful of fics— but Solar Lunacy really stuck with me!

Robots with trauma! An overly curious MC! I think what I like most about this, is how driven mc is? Usually it gets them into trouble, haha, but I love that troupe where the MC really puts themselves through the wringer looking for answers. (I.e like ford and bill from gravity falls.)  

What’s not to love? For all you robot fans out there, it’s pretty sick! I’m sure if you dig deep enough on Bam’s tumblr you’ll find all their old DCA fanart, and draw parts from this fic. 

Fair warning! Scary robots, the regular tags of the fnaf fandom (past child abuse/past child murder), robots don’t understand boundaries, maybe check the tags on this one, just in case. 

Sleuth Jesters (Series!) (Complete, teen+ and mature ratings, depending on which fic in the series you’re reading.)

By naffeclipse (AO3)

This was the other FNAF fanfic that really stuck with me when I had the robot bug. (lol)  I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m not overly into the whole ‘mafia boss’ side of self-ships, but if I had to choose one to read for the rest of time –  it would definitely be this one. It’s like a detective noir, where mc is the vigilante who’s only law they follow is their grey moral code - but usually it’s for the good! So you can’t really feel to bad about that, haha. 

Tbh it’s almost hard to verbalise what I like about it, it’s one of those fics that give you a feeling you can’t name, and it’s so frustrating to have this unnamed feeling you can’t quite pinpoint! (PLEASE tell me some of ya’ll know what i’m talking about!)

I feel so tragically for the MC, if that makes sense? They’re constantly putting themselves in harm's way for answers, and for others.  They’re selfless, yet selfish, and they never let anyone too close, except for when they do. There’s some heavy themes and very toxic relationships, but there’s a happy ending! 

Ahh warning for a very possessive, toxic robot, and kidnapping in later fics - i suggest you read the tags just in case! Bam is really good at tagging triggers accordingly, 

Fair warning: blood and injury, very possessive character, toxic relationships (one sided), mention of injury, violence, kidnapping, guns, gunshot  wounds, shootouts, broken bone- probably some more. I recommend checking the tags on this one as well, just to be on the safe side. 

NSFW Below – Minors get out of here pls!

A quick mention, before I get into this–

I tried to check and make sure all the authors below are all well over 18, i’ve indicated which link has their age posted in their bio’s if you’d like to check for yourself. If I couldn’t find it, I made sure to be clear that I don't know. 

Just doing some light housekeeping, here. You should also check the tags on each fic for what kinda . . . stuff it has, lol. 

Play With Me (Incomplete, explicit rating) 

By grimrester (AO3) / grimrester  (tumblr/ age in bio here.) 

Oh my god. Oh my god! For all you queers on the ace/aromatic spectrum just like me, this is the fic for you!

I could easily go back and read this again and again - tbh I already do. It’s plot with porn, and then it turns into porn with plot, but emotional!  love the relationship between MC and Sans. There's something about their intimacy that’s so casual (maybe not the right word for what I mean,) but vulnerable, and realistic, but very enthusiastic and personal? I don’t think I even have the right words to properly and fully describe what all I like about this fic, but what I do know is that I like it a lot, haha. 

I like that it shows sex and intimacy in a different way. I know it’s pretty common for undertale smut to have some kind of ecto junk involved - this one doesn’t. I personally, like the creativity involved in thinking different ways a person can get off that isn’t just penetration. (Don’t get me wrong, that’s in here too, but that comes a little bit later.) 

I’m also s Big Fan of the sf sans interpretation here. It’s like a soft swapfell, one of my favourite version of him. I said it already, but there’s so many ways a person can go with his character, and I really really like the worldbuilding. It’s a nice subtle nod told through the characters. I love his relationship he has with Alphys, it all feels so incredibly in line with the character, even though he’s a swapfell version, he still does have some sort of friendship with her – even if to him it’s under a guise. To me, it’s one of those things that you can see the core traits that make him a sans, and that’s a hard needle to thread! Just an all around great character study. 

ALSO, I think I have a particular penchant for MC’s with oddly specific niche jobs?? In my heart of hearts, Pixy’s (the name of the arcade MC owns in Play with Me) is like right next door to Faunas (the name of the pot store my MC owns in Into The Weeds.) 

Warnings: i’m pretty sure this one is tagged accordingly on AO3, so i’m not going to tag it all here, just know there’s smut. 

Something Good (Ongoing, Mature) 

By skeletonlvr22 (AO3)

WARNING: No age in bio that I could find. This fic isn’t at the smut yet - but becuase of the 'eventual smut' tag, and for the sake of transparency, i’m letting you know. (I’m like 90% sure this person is an adult though, since there’s a tag thanking their husband for their help.) Do what you will with this info, you’ve been warned. 

This is another one of my current reading obsessions lately! 

I think i’m realizing I have a particular penchant for some of the lesser known au’s? (niche, I suppose?) Fellswap Gold Pap sets out on his own in only his trusty bus, to explore the surface above, away from the (over-) protective eyes of his brother. 

This is the escape fantasy of my dreams. A stray skeleton on the adventure of his lifetime, seeing the sights and the city lights. The romance portion in the later chapters is so damn cute too, it’s very much the ‘first love’, type of romance that’s very sweet and charming. (also, c’mon, who doesn't love a coming of age story?) Love love seeing a Fellswap Gold fic, and a Papyrus based one, too! People are so damn creative, I never would've ever thought of this plot for a fic, but now that I know it’s real, I love it!I I’m really not kidding when I say it’s prime escape fantasy material -  I think it would be the cats ass to have a van and travel across north america, thanks skeletonlv22 for letting me vicariously live through Pap in your fic. :) 

Warning: Only the ones i’ve given at the top! It’s a very cute story. I put it in the NSFW section b/c of the eventual smut, there’s none in it now – although, they certainly are starting to get flirty. 

Resisting the Currents (Ongoing, Explicit) 

By timeofjuly (AO3) timeofjuly (Tumblr) 

WARNING: No age in bio that I could find, but I’ve been chit-chatting with July for months now and i’m 99.99% sure they’re well above 18. It’s not my info to give out, and i’m trying to be transparent on my end, do with this info what you will! 

Edit: age confirmed in the tags!

This is easily another fav of mine for sure. 

Resisting the Currents is a reverse harem fic (with all the au’s!) but with a twist - the gf likes you too! It’s a refreshing take on the ‘reverse harem’ tag you see often in the undertale fandom - and holy shit, truly ‘only love can hurt like this.’ The relationship they have with the MC is so painful, verging on devastating. There’s love there! There is! But there’s also hurt, and a lot of it, the kind that doesn’t just go away, not on its own, anyway. I’m trying not to spoil too much, because I truly think you should read it for yourself. 

But, Oh My God, their MC? Holyshit- I have a(n aforementioned) weakness for impressionable MC’s, oftentimes, I end up loving them more than the love interest in the fics.  I can’t help it! The electrician is personable, relatable, and funny! They’re a lovable goofball with a rough past, with a history of doing the wrong things.They're recovering/recovered? (I’m not too sure which is the correct term, here,) drug addict, and they’ve come a long way! They’ve changed a lot, and I love love love to see that kind of realism in an MC. 

If you’re reading RtC (which you should be,) you can 100% see me going apeshit in the comments trying to figure out what the elections and Quinn’s deal is. (ESPECIALLY chapter 11!

(Sorry if they’re not coherent, at one point, those theories made sense in my head, but looking back on them, I think they’re more so like the crazed ramblings of a conspiracy theorist, haha.) 

This fic is in the NSFW section b/c it does have a chapter where two characters get it on, but i can’t say that’s what the whole story is about. I put it down here to be safe rather than sorry, haha. 

Ahh, fair warning, there is past drug mention, and past abuse child abuse I think? Plus, a bit of mention of religion and the negative effects that can have on a person. Read the tags just to be safe!

Shark Teeth (Complete, Mature rating)

By luluwrites (AO3) skelezbian (Tumblr)

Warning: No age in bio that I could find. If it makes you feel any better, they joined AO3 in 2012, while I joined in 2016 and i’m 24 currently. I’m not good at math, but I think we’re all in the clear here. But like always, do with this info what you will! 

I will say, this isn’t full on smut - it’s saucy, but I’m trying to keep anything suggestive, kinda together? 

Not to divulge myself too furiously here, but uh–There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about Shark teeth. C’mon. Y'all get it, right? It’s just a funny, saucy little number! A funny moment that happens between couples that we get to see. There’s so many different interpretations on the fellswaps, (I know i’ve said it a lot,) but Lulu’s just happens to be one of my favourites interpretations!! Sf Sans is a very precarious character, and I think Lulu does a good job showing that the swaps can be written in a multitude of ways, he doesn’t just have to be the dickhead all the time, lmao. They really do a good job showing how he shines, y’know?

Warning: teeth and/or biting? Not full on smut, or anything, but it is saucy. So, take that into consideration. 

The Fulfilling Ordeal of Being Known (Complete, explicit) 

By nighttimepixels (tumblr) / // active on twitter lethalhoopla (age mention in bio here) 

Ohhh, for all my sapphics out there – you’re going to love this. 

Blade (fem  horrortale sans, who’s apart of her ‘Lillytale’ au, a sapphic take on all the au’s,) and MC settling down for a nice night in, MC playing breath of the wild (BIG UPPS, great game, lol) while Blade plays some games of their own - hopefully you get the picture. 

Just some great lady-lovin’ smut! Size difference! If you love the pillow princess treatment, this is the fic for you.

Warnings: (Lesbians? Queers?) really going to town on each other, def NSFW. Check the tags before reading, it’s nothing Dead Dove, or anything - just want you to be aware. 

mothiepixie (tumblr / age in bio here)

mothiepixie (twitter, age in bio here too) 

No fic to tag, but their art? AHHHHH. They’re more active on twitter than tumblr since The Ban, but ohhh their art is very, very good. Very great if you like fictional hunky men, and beautiful shapely ladies. 

Warnings: tasteful (shameless) smut, you’ve been warned, lol

Woof. That was a lot of typing. If you made it this far, circle back to one of the recommendations above and get to reading!

[flowersforbucky]

Do you have any general advice for someone who wants to post their writing but is scared to? I write a lot. But I have never posted on tumblr or anywhere else. I don't know why but I'm so nervous to.

had to add a keep reading link because i ended up rambling way more than i originally intended to 😅 sorry if this isn't helpful or isn't the kind of answer you were looking for but here's a summary of my experience with writing/posting on tumblr and some general tips -

i completely understand being nervous. i feel nervous every time i post my writing. i'm always worried that people won't like it, that it'll flop, etc. when i first tried posting bucky fanfiction about 5 years ago, and when i posted eddie munson fanfiction a couple years ago, just about everything i posted performed really poorly. i had a couple pieces that did alright but for the most part, just about everything flopped. and it was very discouraging, i would let it get to me too much for sure - i'd wonder how other people got their work to get so many notes so easily when nothing i did seemed to help.

so when i started writing/posting for bucky again a few months ago i was really nervous, since i hadn't had much luck in the past. i decided to give it a shot anyway, and told myself that i'm doing this for fun, and if people like what i put out then great, and if not then i wouldn't let it get to me because at the end of the day i'm doing this for myself, because i want to.

everything i've posted for bucky the last few months has surpassed my expectations, truthfully. i don't really know why all of my one-shots have performed so much better this time around than when i first tried to write for him back in 2019 - maybe my writing has improved? maybe i'm just getting lucky and posting at the right times? maybe it's the fact that i write more smut than i used to and the fandom seems to love that? maybe a little bit of all of those things? i'm not 100% sure, but i'm happy to give you some tips that i think work for me, at least.

also disclaimer i definitely don't think i've been doing this long enough or am a "big enough" writer within this community to even be giving advice LMAO but since you asked!!

i usually post on wednesday or friday evenings and i've had good interaction on both of those days, however fridays have been the best and i think i will be sticking to friday evening posts for the most part in the future

i usually post between 7:00 - 10:00 pm eastern time, most often around 9:00 pm - if the time you post doesn't seem to work well, try a different time with the next post

tags tags tags! add the most relevant tags first, and avoid adding tags that are irrelevant. so when i post for bucky i add tags such as the following: bucky barnes x reader, bucky x reader, bucky barnes, bucky barnes x you, bucky barnes smut, etc

write a brief summary for the piece that will draw people in but not give tooooo much away. also always give appropriate warnings

use the "keep reading" feature. to be completely honest, if someone posts something that's 500+ words and they don't use the keep reading feature, i'm instantly going to get annoyed that it's clogging up the feed and scroll past it lol. i personally like to insert the "keep reading" link a couple paragraphs into my fic so that people can read the first tiny bit of it and (hopefully) be interested enough to click the link and keep reading.

don't be afraid to reach out to other writers in your fandom and initiate friendships. i know this can be super intimidating because they usually already have mutuals that they are close with but what's the worst that can happen with trying? most people here love making new friends/mutuals and want to be supportive of new writers, though i know it doesn't always feel like that. not everyone that i've followed/interacted with has followed me back but a lot have!

tease snippets of upcoming fics before posting them (and make sure to add a bunch of tags so more people see) to help people get excited, draw in new followers, etc. pick a few lines of dialogue, or a specific paragraph or whatever, that you're particularly proud of and screenshot/copy & paste it and post it and basically say hey here's a snippet of an upcoming fic! i don't always do this but i like to on occasion

lastly, and this piece of advice won't necessarily help your writing perform well notes wise, but i think it's important to remember: write and post what YOU want to write and post. this is a hobby, this is supposed to be fun, and you are not getting paid for this. if you don't want to write smut, DON'T write it just because it's popular and you feel like you have to. if you don't want to write reader inserts and prefer OCs, then write an OC. if you prefer writing one-shots and drabbles over multi-part series, then write one-shots and drabbles! of course readers are going to have their preferences and that's fine, i have my preferences when it comes to reading fanfiction as well, but it's not your job to appeal to every reader out there. it's your job to enjoy this hobby as much as you can and write things that you're proud of.

[smolweeblets]

Would you be willing to write either headcanons or a oneshot about working out with Yelena. My gay little brain wants scenarios to think of when exercising

Minor Injuries

Yelena AOT x Reader

Going to the gym was nice. The atmosphere was nice, not that many people at the time you usually went and everything was kept clean. The people at your gym were nice too, offering help when you seemed like you needed it, sometimes you even found the occasional sticky not stuck on some of the machines with little motivational quotes.

Yet yourself found one teensy little problem… Which was that you found yourself always being stared at by another member, a tall and lanky blonde that was always by the treadmills.

You could always catch glimpses of her, and her turning away quickly after you catch her. Honestly, you dont know why she was just… looming over you like that. Was she judging you? You really cant tell. It was very creepy.

After your initial impression, you tended to avoid her. She took the hint and left you alone for the most part but you still couldnt shake off the weird feeling when she was around.

You two never interacted, until one day you find yourself in a small accident.

It wasnt anything big really, you just accidentally dropped a weight in your foot. Yelena found you hopping on one leg like a maniac and you wanted nothing more than to melt into the ground.

“Are… you okay?” She hesitantly asks.

“Yep! Im- uh- just a small accident!” You grit through your teeth.

“Do you need help-?”

You suck in a breath before responding. “No, I swear im all good!”

“I insist, at least just sit down for now. Hopping help with the pain at all.”

Having no reason to object, you calm yourself down just enough to take a seat on the nearest bench.

The woman takes your foot and winces when she sees the area.

“Is it that bad?” You sigh.

“Its gonna bruise pretty bad. Wait there a bit, ill get some things to help with the pain.” Before you could object, she was already out the room, leaving you to your own devices.

“Here, this should be able to help. Try to bear with it for the moment yeah?”

[insert procedure on minor blunt force trauma im not knowledgeable enough to write]

“Ah- I do have to admit, I feel somewhat better, thank you” You offer a grateful smile to the woman.

“No problem, whats your name by the way? We seem to always go here at the same time, I notice you struggling sometimes.” You heat up at the mention that shes been looking at you.

“Yeah,” You chuckle awkwardly. “I see you staring at me sometimes, honestly found it a little creepy, but im glad to know youre actually nice. My name is Y/n, nice to meet you” You offer your hand to shake, she takes it but you can see shes also flustered to hear that youve noticed her staring.

“Likewise. I didnt realize that my staring could be seen as creepy, I apologize for that. I can see why youd be weirded out. My name is Yelena.” She shook your hand, and you couldnt help but notice how smooth her hand felt against your own.

~~~~~

That was the start of a peaceful little friendship between the two of you.

She helped you out and gave you tips as much as she could. And in turn you gave her a reason to do something other than run on the treadmills.

You both loved to talk about trivial topics, how your days have been going, something funny you saw, or even what you had for breakfast that morning. She was a nice company to be around, and she was around a lot.

Despite your first impression of her getting off on the wrong foot, you find yourself quite attracted to her, you push the feeling down as best as you can, but thoughts linger in the back of your head during each interaction with her.

~~~~~

“Gah, im tired. Im gonna go now, you have fun.” You sighed as you started to tidy your stuff.

“Nah, leaving soon too. You got anywhere to be later?” Yelena took a sip out of her water bottle and slumped on a nearby bench.

“Thats kinda random, but no, why do you ask?” You paused and and looked at her.

“Wanna get some drinks together? Weve been friends for a while but havent seen each other anywhere other than the gym.” Yelena smiled softly to herself.

“Sure, sounds lovely!” You grinned.

A/n: This is not my best work so I apologize for the quality, i hope you still enjoy 😭❤️

[staytinyville]

Beomgyu

PLEASE REFER TO MASTERLIST TO GET FULL TAROT READING EXPERIENCE

↣ Summary: You’re the glue who keeps the boys all together. And maybe the one who fancies Beomgyu  just a bit more than the others. 

↣ Characters/Pairing: Choi Beomgyu x gn!reader

↣ Genre: fluff

↣ AU/Trope info: 6th member!au, idol!au

↣ Word Count: 1.085k

↣ Warnings: None

↣ A/N: Beomgyu is chaotic but we are here for him. I will be honest some self insert was shoved in here and idk maybe that’s not how Beomgyu acts but it is how I am. I share the same MBTI as him and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people get overwhelmed with him and tend to lash out. I get that a lot of the time and it does make me upset. But that’s just what I think. Maybe it’s not how he is and is quite content. I hope he is. 

TEMPERANCE

Balance, Moderation, Patience, Purpose

This card shows that you have balance, patience and moderation in your life. Your energy has been running free but now it is time to bring it back into you. You must get a hold on it once more.

You are the kind of person who understands what it's like to be open minded with what others have to say. And because of this now is the time to use it if you are dealing with two different sides of a story.

You are also at a point where you would need to act with a calm and even mind. Be sure you stay calm even in a time of stress. Because what you show others, they might just show back.

XVI TEMPERANCE

You could remember the first time you had ever met all the boys. They were chaotic and had their own feelings towards each other that weren’t the best. However over time you got them to loosen up and now they couldn’t live without each other.

You were their mediator–the one who made sure all their fights were resolved and there were no hard feelings. Sometimes arguments were harder to fix than others, but you always wanted them to make up. Mostly because you guys all lived together so it was best to fix your problems than let them fester in your own personal space.

While fights were few and far between, there were still those petty ones that only lasted for one conversation before they were back to poking fun at each other. In these cases, most of the time they were between Beomgyu and Yeonjun. You loved both of them but they clashed so much. You had no idea why but it probably had to do with the fact that Beomgyu was a chaotic boy and Yeonjun had thin patience.

They still loved each other though and that was all you tried to care about.

“I told you it had my name on it!” You squeezed your eyes shut at the sound of Yeonjun’s annoyed voice.

“No it didn't!” Beomgyu retorted back. “Look!”

“Beomgyu! It's right there.” Yeonjun retorted.

“How do you expect me to see it when you wrote it in the same color!?” You got up when Beomgyu shouted.

“Guys!” You told them pointedly walking into the kitchen. “Stop screaming.”

“(Y/N)—”

“But (Y/N)—”

“Stop.” You raised a finger, watching as they both began to pout. “What happened?” You asked them.

“He ate my yogurt.” Yeonjun told you.

“I did.” Beomgyu admitted. “But I didn't see his name on it.”

You held your hand out for the cup, trying to find where it was that Yeonjun had put his name. While you did find it, Beomgyu had been right to say that it was hard to see. He had used a red marker on a red label.

While you knew Beomgyu should've thought for a moment that if he didn’t buy it, it wasn’t meant for him. However there were occasions the boys would buy things and share with the others so the possibility of eating something meant for all of them was there this time it wasn’t the case.

“Yeonjun, you did write it in the same color.” You told the boy, handing him the cup. “Soobin could've eaten it.”

“You're just taking his side.” Yeonjun pouted.

“Yeonjun, don't argue with me.” You told him with a stern look. “It wasn't intentional. Beomgyu will buy you another yogurt.” You looked over at the other boy who avoided your stare.

Yeonjun watched as you waited for Beomgyu to look up at you and acknowledge your agreement. While they all knew about how you babied the boy a bit too much, they also knew you were the only one who he listened to.

You had always known how to settle arguments and how to make them all get along. You were someone who held them all together. The shoulder they needed to lean on. Especially when Beomgyu overwhelmed them.

While Soobin was the leader of all 6 of you, it was clear you were the motherly type. You always worried about them–telling them to be careful when they left the house, asking where they were going just in case something happened. You weren’t over bearing but it did bring them happiness to know that someone was at the dorm making sure they were healthy boys.

It also assured their parents.

“Fine.” Yeonjun sighed. “I'm sorry for yelling at you.” He told Beomgyu .

“I'm sorry for eating your yogurt.” The boy said back.

“Good!” You grinned. “Now hug!”

They looked at you with sneers on their faces. “Too much.” You rolled your eyes. “I want a hug though!” You held your arms out waiting for the large boys to cuddle you.

Yeonjun scoffed but wrapped his arms around your middle before kissing the top of your head. “Love you.” He told you before leaving the kitchen.

“Love you too.” You called with a smile.

When you turned around, your breath was nearly knocked out of you as Beomgyu was crouched down and rubbing his cheek into your chest. “Hi, Gyu.” You giggled, messaging his scalp.

“Can we cuddle?” He asked shyly.

“Are you okay?” You asked him, pulling his face to look at you.

“Yeah, I just feel tired.” He sighed, his cheeks squished between your hands.

You smiled softly, nodding your head. You knew what it was like to suddenly feel anxious over being scolded, especially when being yelled at. Beomgyu was a soft boy who got sad easily. So maybe that's why you paid a bit more attention to him than others. You knew his personality was a bit too much for others which led to being scolded a lot and that made him shrink in on himself.

He just needed someone with patience and luckily you had a lot of that.

“Let's go watch some dramas.” You smiled at him.

He grinned widely before skipping off to your room. You shared it with Soobin but seeing as he was currently out, Beomgyu took the time to cuddle with you in a sacred space. He grabbed your laptop and started to set it up before you made your way into bed and huddled up at the headboard.

Like a small child, Beomgyu enjoyed being the small spoon so he laid his head on your shoulder and placed a leg over your waist. For a large man he was extra cuddly but that was okay, if he wanted to be babied you would do that for him.

“I love you, (Y/N).” He spoke up, cheek squished against you.

“I love you too, Beomgyu.” You chuckled, kissing the top of his head.

“More than the others?” He grinned, looking up at you.

“Don’t ask me that.” You lightly swatted at his head.

“Sorry.” He cackled. “But seriously?” He added, going back to squishing against you.

“No, I don't love you more than the others. I love you all equally.” You admitted. “But maybe I just like babying you a bit more.” You smiled softly.

“I'm the best.” He giggled quietly.

“No, you just need someone watching you 24/7.” You laughed.

“I do not.” He gasped.

“Hush now, lay on my chest.”

Tags : @cultofdionysusnet , @sandsofire , @k-vanity

[kaelidascope]

Director's commentary on Something About Moths and a Flame, please!

Oh this outta be fun LOL OKAY

So the overall story of how this fic was even born in the first place stemmed from 2 things. I had an idea to write about a shameless self-indulgence about having an overabundance of experience with cismen with hardly any queer experience. And the little queer experiences Blake did have were not good reference points. Using myself as a default source of plot devices (lmao) I self-inserted the desire to get the fuck out of my current state and wanting to move somewhere north to start over. Bing bang boom, you got a basic background and motive for Blake

I honestly should've expected the fic would be more than just 'bisexual character experiences sex with a seasoned sapphic character' and trying to manifest positive things in my life by writing it out in fic format (who doesn't do that, really. If anyone says they don't they're a liar). Everything I make always turns out to be something way more than it's original concept so what I ended up with here was a story drawing on personal elements and wanting for an outcome that probably wont happen, but it's nice seeing it happen to the bees anyway

Blake's feelings about relationships represent a time in my life where my opinion was exactly hers. After a lengthy discussion with Sawrin over dissecting this fic, I've come to the realization that Yang also represents a time frame of opinions as well. Only Yang's core design comes from a time waaaaay in the past that honestly, I had forgotten existed. It's nice to see it manifest despite being buried, and certainly gives me something to think about when I reread it from time to time.

Readers of MM and Moths can draw lines between Blake questioning why things are so easy when she's with Yang. It's the same principle across the board for most bee fics that Blake's past hasn't been kind to her. It's an alien feeling to suddenly have things be so easy, but difficult to accept they're easy at the same time. I tried to picture how the fuck would I react if I were in this perfect dream scenario and how stupid would it be after the realization hits. Blake and Yang have been dating this whole time and just never accepted it for what it was based on what other people have lead them to believe what a relationship had to be.

The talk they have when Yang's AC is out and they're laying in her bed with the windows open is in reference to a talk I once had that didn't have the outcome I wanted. It carries the same essence of dismay - both parties knowing they want each other but because of the boundaries at play, cannot have what they want. But in this version it's not one sided.

Overall, it was nice getting able to write from a quietly honest place without having to worry about literally every other realistic factor ever. This is about as textbook 'I wrote this for me cus I wanted something that applied to me' as it gets. The ending is my dream scenario. I fucking hate living with partners I can't do it anymore JKNFKGNKJGFN but it's not easy finding someone else who'd agree with me. So the bees get my lost dream of permanent independence. I wrote this thing in 3 days and I was morbidly sick while I was doing it, too. So I'm sure it's littered with grammatical errors and what have you. But my best friend has always been completely head over heels about this work, and it astounds me how much he sings its praise. I'm always genuinely surprised when others find something to relate to in this work as well. I never expected it to be anything more than just a glance. It's not even smut heavy. I didn't think people cared about fics like that LOL (silly, I know) but I am glad I put it out there and it got the response it did.

[eleanorblythe]

Romantic Homicide - Anton Chigurh x Original Female Character - Chapter 2

This has been so much fun to write. I had honestly just intended to write some filth and call it a day, but the more I wrote the more I cared about these characters. I promise filth is coming, but right now it’s a whole lot of angst and emotions.

You can STILL use this as a reader insert because I STILL haven’t given her a name, but I think at this point it’s more of a deliberate choice than the lack of a good name, it gives her some mystery (and maybe makes me a little pretentious??)

I don’t think this will be a fully fledged fanfic, like I said this was meant to just be some disgusting smut, but apparently I need foreplay and I have ideas in the back of my mind for one off scenarios - so if I do continue this I would be open to any suggestions you have or want to see - requests will be open.

Also on Ao3 with author notes and translations - here

When she rose the next morning it was almost easy to forget there was anyone else in the house. When she walked through the dining room and peered into the bathroom to get to the kitchen, everything was exactly as it was meant to be. There was no mess, no blood and no glass. She couldn’t help but look over at her cabinet and see the empty spot where her sixth rocks glass ought to have been, but there were slightly more important things to worry about.

But first. Coffee.

Like with everything else in her home, she had the best (his) money could buy. So she was lucky enough to have a coffee machine that came with all the bells and whistles. This included a steam wand that was used for frothing milk. She quickly filled a small cup with milk and turned on the steam wand, letting it make the most awful noise. Screeching and wailing while she simply turned on her stovetop and placed her stovetop coffee maker on it to make a pot of black coffee.

She never has milk with her coffee.

Her antics did the trick. Before long Anton came wondering into the kitchen, somewhat bleary eyed and wondering at the hideous cacophony of sounds emanating from her kitchen. Her eyes tracked him from the dining room and once he set foot onto the linoleum of her kitchen she switched the steam wand off and poured her cup of frothy milk directly into the sink.

Anton clenched his jaw as his eyes bore into her. He watched her pour black coffee from her stainless steel pot into a rather elegant looking glass coffee cup.

She raised her cup, in the form of a mocking cheers or toast and kept steely eye contact with him as she sipped her coffee with one hand, and proceeded to pour the entire pot of freshly brewed coffee down the sink with the other.

Anton exhaled through his nose, whether it was with amusement or frustration or derision, she could not say, his face betrayed nothing.

But his eyes did. There was anger, exhaustion and…hurt? With her or at the loss of a very nice cup of coffee, she wasn’t entirely sure.

She made a satisfied sound as she savoured the first sip before she wondered out of the kitchen to go about her usual morning routine, once again leaving him with barely an acknowledgment of his existence.

She knew she would eventually have to confront the issue head on, but for now he would have a small taste of the type of existence she has lived through these past months.

Or perhaps he would prefer it this way?

She dressed and readied herself for the day. She had nowhere to go, but she contemplated whether to take herself off somewhere for the next eight hours, until she realised she was being childish.

This was her home, why should she be the one to leave it?

Instead she granted a small kindness, by calling Andrews from her bedroom and asking him to visit discreetly, as she was not convinced Anton had the skills to mend his arm on his own - skilful as he was.

She stepped out onto the front porch to collect the mornings’ paper. She noticed an unfamiliar car sitting on her driveway behind her own car. She thought he might have had the foresight to park it far away from the house, but the pain must have overridden all else. She took a moment to look out at the rest of the neighbourhood. Quiet. Calm. Private. She surprisingly found herself suited to the suburban life, what a difference a few years can make. She could have done without the snobbery of some of her neighbours, but she found that she was able to combat them in other, more creative ways now, that didn’t involve guns. Or knives. Or ropes. Or explosives…

She was not entirely sure Anton could. But she was sure once his arm was mended he would be back on his way again. The only sign he was alive being the regular cheques found in her mailbox. There was never a letter or note accompanying the cheque. Ever. Just a rather large number and his signature.

She looked along her fence and saw one of the boards had splintered slightly. She resolved she would have to replace the whole fence. Ridiculous. She knew, but she kept up hope believing that one day she would finally have wasted too much money on all these frivolities and open the door to find Anton glaring down at her and be given the dressing down she so dearly deserved.

And needed.

And wanted.

Desperately.

She shook herself out of her reverie and came back into the house to find Anton sitting in the living room staring at the television - that wasn’t on. It was her turn to exhale through her nose, her derision quite clear. She turned on the tv as she passed before seating herself at the far end of the farthest chair and opened up her newspaper making as much unnecessary noise as she could possibly make.

Anton’s deep, withering gaze slowly made its way from the screen to her, but by now she was completely covered by the broadsheet with only her hands peaking out holding up the sides. He noticed she still wore her ring. Not all hope was lost then.

The newscaster quietly droned on in the background, Anton wondered if this was what domesticity was. Well it would have been, he supposed, without the arsenal of weapons they both had buried under the floorboards.

There was now a reporter standing outside a motel in El Paso, surrounded by police and caution tape. He talked about the bloodshed that occurred there and linked it back to similar incidents in other motels within the surrounding area.

At the mention of El Paso, the newspaper came down a little until she was peering over the top. She knew that was one of the places Anton had been and wondered for a morbid moment whether they would show any of his handiwork on the screen. The reporter mentioned something about locks being punched out of doors. From behind her paper she allowed herself to smirk, knowing his trademark.

“Your work, dear?” She finally asked, after raising the newspaper back up when the report was over.

“Some of it,” he mumbled, his eyes still glued to the television. He couldn’t help but hear the bite in her voice at the word “dear”

She offered no other comments or conversation and for a while they remained in this seemingly blissful image of home life. Until there was a knock interrupted the quiet.

Anton snapped his head towards the front door and wished he had his pistol to hand. She curled the corner of the paper down and peered out of the window.

“You’d better get that, darling, being the man of the house and all…” she said as she folded her newspaper and tossed it onto the coffee table. The sarcasm dripping from every word.

He was skeptical, but she didn’t look too concerned so it was probably a neighbour. He rose slowly and stalked his way to the front door glancing through the peephole before releasing a long suffering sigh, recognising who was at the door.

He opened the door just wide enough to poke his head around. Andrews met his eye and his grip tightened around his medical bag.

“Mr Chigurh.” He gave a a tight smile and a nod.

“I didn’t call you.”

“N-no sir, but your wife did.”

“Why?” He practically seethed.

“Because you were half delirious and drunk when you attempted to fix yourself.” Anton heard behind him. She stepped forward, ushering Anton out of the way with a limp wave of her hand. “Come in, Andrews. Use the back room, keep him quiet, not that, that should be a problem,” she opened the door further to allow Andrews to enter.

Andrews squeezed himself between the small gap left by the couple who had both at one time or another been “patients” of his, as they entered into something of a stare off. He hurried down the hall and began to set up in the back bedroom. She had given him a brief explanation of what had happened and while he was aware Anton was more than capable of taking care of himself, it did sound like a rather serious incident that needed at least some modicum of professional care.

Anton eventually came into the room, with her in tow. She remained in the doorway as he gingerly sat on the edge of the bed.

“We’ll start with the arm, if you please, but I’d like to take a look at your leg too,”

“My leg is fine.”

A quiet scoff pulled their attention.

“Just do what the man says, Anton.”

Anton saw from his peripheral vision, Andrews gulp and exchange a tense and worried look between the two, then pretend to busy himself with his latex gloves.

She continued to stare at him, like a teacher deciding whether he needed admonishing. She must have known what he knew. The bone wasn’t set properly.

He needed help.

He did contemplate rolling his shirt sleeve up but it was too tight to do so without causing pain and he didn’t want to cut up yet another shirt. He slowly began to unbutton the first two buttons before stopping and flicking his eyes up to her. Her eyes narrowed in questioning then widened and barked out a laugh at his apparent shyness.

For a single moment, Anton saw warmth, even tenderness creep into her eyes. It quickly dissolved and she looked on in that cold and dispassionate way of hers. The whole moment reminded him of watching her at work, the way she could switch between different people, different personalities like a switch.

Once Anton begrudgingly finished unbuttoning the rest of his shirt, Andrews helped carefully peel off the shirt and started to examine the red and swollen area, all under the watchful gaze of her.

He tried. He tried so hard to show no weakness. Not in front of her. But with every poke and prod, he could feel his mask slipping. At one point Andrews must have struck a nerve because Anton flinched violently and let out a small shuddering gasp. He couldn’t help but look back at her.

She had the most inscrutable expression. Her eyes obstinately on his arm, but she could feel his eyes on her. Her eyes were moving, almost frantically, between Anton’s arm and whatever Andrews was doing with his hands.

After rummaging around in his medical bag, Andrews drew out a scalpel, he cut through the stitches Anton had obviously done the previous night and she watched as the deep crimson seeped out and started to bleed further down his arm and drip onto the plastic sheet spread over the bed and floor.

She was reminded of another time - all that blood, all that pain…

Anton gritted his teeth and kept his reactions to the pain as minimal as he could. He decided to anchored himself to her, tried to find his strength in her. His eyes never leaving her face as he waited for her to look back.

When she did finally look up at him, he was a little taken aback. Her jaw was stern, her mouth drawn in a thin line, her nostrils flared, her eyebrows drawn. But her eyes…

There was no anger, no contempt, no mocking, just total understanding, empathy and…fear. He watched as her eyes glistened with unshed tears. Her lips parted as she drew a sharp inhale, like she wanted to say something, but snapped her mouth shut and immediately left the room.

Andrews muttered something of an apology followed by an almighty crack. Anton gave a chocked off scream mixed with a groan. He gripped the edge of the bed, the rustling of the plastic sheet almost deafening.

There were other cuts, other breaks that had to be made and throughout he felt weaker and weaker. At one point he had passed out.

He awoke to the pleasant relief of a cool towel being dabbed against his forehead, he opened his eyes to see her leaning over him. She met his gaze and lay the towel against his forehead. He felt the faintest brush of her fingers down his temple and cheek as she reached for something he couldn’t see. He then felt the unpleasant stab of a needle in his uninjured arm.

“Morphine.” She said quietly. “I found some, in your stash,” she pulled the needle out and placed a cotton wool ball over the small bead of blood that escaped the puncture wound.

“How long?” He all but croaked.

“A few hours. Andrews said it was worse than he thought, but it’s done. He suggested a cast, but,” she glanced over at his left arm, so did he. He saw instead of a plaster cast, an arm brace; “I thought this would be a better alternative,”

“What else?”

“The gunshot wound to your leg is already healing quite well, he didn’t need to do too much, the laceration on your other leg has a few stitches as well as the one on your forehead. You broke 3 ribs, but I imagine you already knew that, you’re to remain here for the next six weeks. After that…” she gulped as she tidied away the morphine and needle “You can go back to what you’d like,”

Anton now knew what was wrong. He never pretended to know about people and their seemingly unnecessary emotional ways - that was always her strength, but he always thought he’d at least be able to read her well enough. Perhaps the reason for his problem was the very reason she was upset and trying desperately to hide it behind her cool and facetious exterior. He wasn’t here. He hadn’t been here. For months. A wife needs her husband, and if he was honest; this husband needed his wife. The work gave him purpose, but she sustained him.

It was, perhaps, easier for her when they were both in the field, the fleeting moments when they might cross paths on separate jobs and frenzied, passionate nights in dirty motels when the adrenaline was coursing through both of them. It had been enough then to sustain them both, but after what happened, when the tables were turned on them, on her…

They both knew they always had to be prepared to die to do what they did, it was an inevitability and reality they confronted everywhere they went, but for her, it was not the fear of death, but a deep betrayal that had forced her to step away and after months and months of recovery, almost slipping into death’s arms so many times, she found that she would not - could not - return to that world, even after her arteries stitched themselves back together and wounds and scars faded to faint lines along her skin(Anton had counted and treated every one of them, with rapt attention).

He had stayed throughout her recovery, made sure she had everything should could ever need or want. He was the one who had saved her from bleeding out. He was the one who stitched her up. He was the one who relentlessly hunted down the ones who did this to her. He was the one who suggested marriage. He was the one who gave her the home he was currently laying in.

And yet despite it all.

He was the one who needed her.

So why did he stay away for so long?

It was something he continued to turn over in his head while she cleaned and tidied up her equipment. When she rose from her perch on the bed to leave, he attempted to sit up.

“Mi querida…”

“No.” She said, finally broken. She gently pushed him back down and picked up a tin tub that was filled with murky red water. “Ve a dormir.” He always enjoyed hearing her speak in his native tongue, but now she sounded so fragile, so heartbroken, so alone.

She left without looking back and closed the door behind her. She emptied the tub, put away the morphine, did the washing up. She did anything to keep herself busy, but the second she stopped a loud and horrible sob ripped it’s way out of her and she could do nothing but slide herself to the floor and try to silence her own cries.

And from his bed, Anton heard it all.

[photogirl894]

🥳Photogirl894's "Sun and Rain" Fanfic Three Year Celebration!!🥳

As of today, it has now been THREE whole years since I started writing and posting "Sun and Rain", my Bad Batch fanfic and love story between Hunter and my OC, Kimber!

Crazy how time flies when you're having fun, right?? 😆

I've added a bit more to my story since last year and I'm insanely happy with how it's progressing! This year, the story continued on through events of season one of the Bad Batch (a little slower than I had hoped for, but progress is progress) and there was lots of angst, but also lots of good moments. We're officially halfway through season one! With the show ending this year, it got my thoughts turning more to how Kimber's story would go throughout season three and I think a lot of you will like what I have planned in the future. There's still a lot more to come and at least we know that there's gonna officially be a happy ending 🥰 (Though, I would've had that happen no matter what, but now, I don't have to break canon to get it!)

A huge thank you to everyone on my taglist as well as those who are currently reading my fic! I've gained a few more loyal readers and it makes me so happy! Your guys love, support, comments and messages are what keep me going! 😊

@the-sad-batch , @nimata-beroya , @intrepidmare , @legolkenxbi , @tech-aficionado ,

@ladykatakuri , @d1n0-dan , @sammi9498 , @darthzero22 , @scarlettrose9901 ,

@thebadbatchscyare , @chxpsi , @ilikemymendarkandfictional , @4pplecider , @locitapurplepink ,

@l-lend , @nekotaetae , @eternalwaffle , @merkitty49 , @avathebestx ,

@idoubleswearimawriter , @techs-stitches , @fantasyproductions , @totallyunidentified and @dreamsandrosies

To celebrate the three year anniversary of "Sun and Rain", I would absolutely love to talk about the story with my readers again like I did the last couple years, especially since I've gained a few new readers in that time and I honestly think it's a lot of fun! 😊 I want to know some things you guys like about it so far and I'm curious if anyone has questions for me about it, so once again, I have a list of things anyone can send to me in my ask box: things you can tell me from your own perspective or things you can ask me personally! (For those who may be reading and aren't caught up all the way yet, there most likely will be spoilers, so you've officially been warned 😅)

Tell me...

1. Your favorite moment

2. Your favorite line(s)

3. Your favorite relationship

4. Your favorite chapter

5. What scene/line made you laugh the most?

6. What scene/line made you smile the most?

7. What scene/line made you cry/angry the most?

8. A song recommendation for my "Sun and Rain" playlist that you think fits Kimber or her relationships with other characters and I'll give it a listen

9. What you'd like to see later on in the story (and maybe I'll tell you if it'll happen)

10. Your theories for "Sun and Rain" and where it's going to go

Ask me...

1. Anything you want to know about my OC, Kimber (within reason) or my Koriena Force girls (Lex, Kida and Irys. Any questions about Rina will be directed to @l-lend since she belongs to her)

2. What was my inspiration for (insert scene/chapter)?

3. What was my inspiration for (insert certain line/paragraph)?

4. What chapter am I most proud of?

5. What certain lines am I most proud of?

6. What was my favorite moment(s) to write?

7. What was my least favorite moment(s) to write?

8. For a hint of upcoming chapters/events and how Kimber's role might change certain things (if you want to know about particular upcoming events from the show, please specify)

9. For a sneak peek into future scenes I already have written (though it's mostly dialogue and I only have a couple, so I can only do this a certain number of times)

10. Anything else you want to know from me about "Sun and Rain" or my experience writing it thus far

I look forward to talking about this with all of you! And stay tuned for another fun surprise later today! 🥰 I love you all so much!!