#I think I'm gonna be at least 10 pages with this thing

[krys-does-art-stuff]

Still need to finish up some areas and then do some outlining, but page six is fairly close to being done!

April 2024

[arachine]

*slides a big fat twenty your way* uh how about a part two of that non traditional family dynamics with gojo

dinner and a disaster . . .

synopsis :: when your oldest daughter is at that age where boys are starting to become the focal point of her universe, you bring out the big guns — which in this case, unfortunately happens to be her father (who is not exactly the best when it comes to disciplining his little girls).

or, in other words, you and gojo play good cop bad cop.

genre :: fluff

contents :: co-parent!gojo, mentions of alcohol, heavy dialogue, time skip (the girls are 14 and 12 respectively), gojo is in distress !!!!

note :: link to part 1 + link to part 3

it's 10 pm when you text gojo about the latest happenings going on in your household.

it's also 10:01 pm when you answer his incoming face time call.

he's wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket, laying down on his bed with a pillow under his chin and a hand propped up to support his head—he's comfortable, to say the least, and 100% tuned in to hear about whatever it is that you just texted him.

"is this what you've been doing all day?" you query with a laugh. there's a brief look of confusion etched onto his face before he picks up on what you were implying. rolling his eyes, he scoffs.

"it was my day off," he pouts, "can't a man relax in his fuzzy blanket?"

you squint teasingly at the screen, then nod slowly before mouthing an 'uh-huh'.

"i didn't call you to get berated about my choice of blanket!"

"okay, okay! i'm sorry," you grab a napkin from your nightstand, waving it like a white flag of surrender. "such a baby..."

"says the one who could never take...you know what, i won't finish that."

"smart man," you smile. "i want to be mad at you sometimes but it's almost kinda impressive how easily you can change the atmosphere...i mean, wow! it's record-breaking, truly."

"ha...ha. alright. i overstepped my bounds, i get it. can we just...can we just get back to our daughter? i'm starting to regret calling you on my day off—which, by the way, was going so great."

"great, love that we're on the same page," you give him a thumbs up through the screen. before you can get into the nitty-gritty of the situation, you take a brief pause to prepare yourself for the dramatics about to ensue—because if you know anything about gojo satoru, you know he's definitely one for the dramatics.

"when i tell you this...i want you to stay calm, keep a level head, and most importantly, i want you not to scream," you say, opening your mouth again to emphasize the last part, "and it's important that you especially won't scream, okay?"

gojo mulls it over before committing, "i don't know...it depends on what you're gonna tell m-"

"just—just promise, gojo," you interrupt, clearly agitated.

"alright, i promise."

"okay, so there's a boy..."

you're mid-sentence when gojo's eye starts to twitch.

"and she's expressed to me that she wants to go on a date with him." when you finish, you're half expecting him to yell, and half expecting him to end the call. but he doesn't.

in fact, he's so still, you're almost convinced he's frozen, but then he begins to smile. slow at first, and then all at once. it's creepy, you think, something straight out of a horror film.

"i know this was a lot of information to process, are you...okay?"

"pfttt, what? of course, why wouldn't i be?"

"well, you look scary. maybe i shouldn't have told yo-"

"SHE WANTS TO WHAT?"

and there it is. gojo satoru, king of dramatics.

"my little girl, my baby, my princess. she's only 10!-"

"she's 14."

"same thing, how could you let this happen?!"

"what happened to not yelling?! you promised!"

"oh be serious, i made a vow to you 14 years ago and look where we are now," he whisper-yells, trying (and failing) to contain his voice.

"dammit, you're right...well, at least we're on the same page! we both don't want this date to happen." when you take another glance at the screen, gojo's no longer laying down on his bed, but up and pacing around his room like a mad man.

you watch him for awhile, and when he doesn't seem to be coming back any time you soon, you call his name, "satoru."

"what?!" he turns to the phone. glaring at him, you wait for him to check his tone. "sorry, what?"

"i was thinking tomorrow you could come over for dinner? it'd give us a chance to talk to her about it...so that it's not just me telling her no."

"so, what i'm hearing is that you want her to hate me too?"

"no, i'm saying i want us to be a team. so, can you come over tomorrow? can you do that?" you ask, raising a brow.

"yeah, i'll be there."

at the same time the oven alarm goes off, gojo arrives. you can see his car pull into the drive way from where you are in the kitchen, and you mentally curse yourself for not getting ready sooner.

"fuck, uh okay," you throw your oven mitts, "hon, can you get the door for your dad? i need to go upstairs and get changed."

the youngest gets up from her place on the couch, "sure, wait...dad's staying for dinner? what's the occasion?"

you're halfway up the stairs before you stop, "enough questions, please. just open the door, thank youuuu."

ambling from the living room to the foyer, she opens the front door. gojo smiles, and immediately lifts her up into a bone-crushing hug that only a dad could give.

"hey bug, missed you," he squeezes her, much to her behest.

"ugh, dadddd, put me down," she drawls, pawing at his chest. gojo frowns and puts her down, putting a hand over his heart as if he were shot.

"you used to love that, you know."

"yeah, when i was like five."

"are you not?" he teases, but she's not amused. he nudges her arm annoyingly until she begins to smile. "there we go, punk. now can i have a real hug? you're hurting my feelings."

like a true pre-teen, she rolls her eyes and reluctantly trudges over to him, then opens her arms up for a hug. at this stage, you've noticed that hugs are okay, but only when it's on their own terms—and you especially can't initiate them when their friends are around (you learned that the hard way).

when they pull away, gojo takes his shoes off and wanders through the house. "where's the other brat at?"

"upstairs."

gojo nods, "uh-huh...where's your mom at?"

"right here." gojo hears you before he sees you, and then he lifts his head up to see you at the top of the stairs standing behind the banister. before you make your way downstairs, you waltz over to your daughter's room and knock on the door.

"hey, dinner's ready. come on downstairs. somebody's here to see you." as you begin turning around, the door flies open and out comes your moody teenage daughter.

"who is it?" she queries, following behind you like a duckling.

from where he stands at the bottom of the staircase, gojo raises a hand and waves.

"hey, scrub."

"dad? what are you doing here?" your oldest questions, but still goes in for a hug.

"your mom invited me over for dinner, that cool with you?"

she nods, then turns to her sister. they exchange a knowing look that, if translated, would be: something's definitely up. they wait for you and gojo to head to the kitchen before having a quick debrief.

"you definitely did something," the youngest side eyes.

"wha-why would you think i did something? you're the one failing a class," she rebuttals.

"ok well...this isn't about me! they only get together when one of us does something. don't you see? they're teaming up...this is an intervention."

the oldest pinches the space between her brows, "i can see why you're failing english now, because the way you just jumped to conclusions like that is actually insane."

dinner goes by without a hitch. for majority of it, you spend the time talking about work, school (which seems like a sensitive subject because the youngest wouldn't look either of you in the eye), and the plot of this hbo show with adult kids who're trying to take over their father's company.

gojo brings it up, of course, and jokingly says that the show was written with him in mind. he asks the girls if they'll fight over who'll inherit the company when he dies, and it turns into a i'm the better daughter debate.

when it gets a little too rowdy, you have to remind them that this is all hypothetical and that their father is a menace who likes to cause chaos whenever possible. gojo pouts and says you're no fun, but quickly fixes his face when he sees your pointed glare.

"come help me with the dishes," you say, and then disappear into the kitchen.

the two of you fall back into old habits. you wash the dishes, he dries and sets them on the rack. it feels like it did in the beginning, only this time, he'll be leaving when the two of you set out to do what you originally intended.

"dinner was nice," he says after about 10 minutes of comfortable silence. he doesn't look up, doesn't even make a joke about your cooking (which, you were totally expecting him to do). instead, he just continues drying the plate you handed to him.

"you know, you're welcomed to come again. you don't always have to be away in that apartment all by yourself," you start, choosing your words carefully, gently. "the girls like eating with their dad."

"i like eating with them too. i guess i'll start coming by more often then."

you almost miss it but there's a smile on his face, and it's genuine. instead of pointing it out, you savor the moment.

your reasoning for his coming here was to talk to your daughter, but it was also to get him out of the apartment. see, you were sneaky like him too, and what he didn't know wouldn't kill him. to you, this was just hitting two birds with one stone.

when you finish up, the two of you discuss the plan over for what seems like the 100th time.

"so, we're gonna go in there and be cool about it, okay? we won't hound her. we're just gonna tell her like it is, and then let her down gently. got it?"

"got it."

"after you," gojo extends his arm.

"wha-ugh, fine."

as you lead the way, gojo has to keep a hand on your back to keep you from turning back around. so far, you've attempted to retreat five times—you're two feet away from the kitchen entrance.

"will you just go?" there's irritation laced in his tone.

"okay, just stop pushing me."

"no promises, keep walking."

you sigh, but heed his request. with a hand still on your back, he guides you all the way to the living room. the girls are watching tv but quickly avert their focus when they notice you standing next to the couch with a freakish smile plastered on your face. gojo whispers in your ear to be cool and you immediately gather your wits.

"mom...your face...dad what's wrong with her face she's scaring me," the youngest pauses the tv.

"sweetie, will you go upstairs for a minute? your dad and i have to talk to your sister."

seeming to be catching on, she gets up from the couch and says a 'told you' to her sister before running upstairs. you and gojo share a look.

"what's up?" she asks, still weirded out.

"you see, well...we've been talking and..." you start, "your father has something he wants to tell you!"

gojo snaps his head towards you, gasping in the same motion. "hey, what the hell happened to being cool?"

"no promises, remember?"

"oh, you litt-"

"dad."

"sorry, uh, shit. i wasn't prepared for this. this wasn't the plan," he begins, "so, i heard there's a boy...and...you're at that age where boys are cute..."

she looks at the two of you in abhor and groans. gojo pauses briefly, but you encourage him to continue.

"and i've come to understand that you're interested in one and want to go on a date?"

"yeah."

"oh...okay well, i—we just don't think that's a good idea. you're 14, in school, and honey, you're so young...you have your whole life to be interested in boys."

"wait, what do you mean 'we'?"

"your mom and i talked about it and-"

"mom said she was fine with it."

gojo smiles in shock and then blinks, once, twice, three times.

"we'll be back," he announces, pulling you by the arm to the kitchen.

when you get to the kitchen, he releases your arm and pinches the skin between his brows. it takes all of about five seconds before he erupts.

"'we're a team, satoru', 'we're in this together', bullshit! you wanted me to be the bad cop, didn't you?"

"not initial-"

"didn't you!"

"okay, sorry! i may have...gave in when she asked, but i figured you'd be able to tell her no!"

"why would you think that!? she's my little girl!"

"she's my little girl too!"

gojo walks over to the cabinet and pulls out a glass. "i can't right now, i need a drink. what do you have?"

opening another cabinet, you pull out a bottle of pink whitney. gojo sucks his teeth. it was such a girl drink, but it was all you had so beggars couldn't be choosers. shrugging, he raises his glass for you to pour the drink into.

grabbing another glass, you sit down and join him.

"we've been had, huh?"

"how is that?"

"because we both can't say no to her."

gojo raises his glass to his lips and swallows it all down in a few gulps.

your daughter goes on a date the following week, and gojo starts looking into trackers.

© arachine 2023

[elsa-fogen]

what do you think about the fact that al likes doodling?

i have a head canon that he has some sort of scrapbook or sketchbook full of little doodles of things going on at the hotel and just in his life, I feel like he would draw really stick-figureish (is that a word?) but I read a fic that depicted it as the same art style as an Invader-Zim obsessed scene girl and I could not stop cackling.

I also feel like he would either guard it with his life from everyone (exception to Rosie, of course) or just not bother to tell anyone and one day they just find him doodling schoolgirl style, kicking his legs in the air, LMAO NEW THOUGHT WHAT IF CHARLIE OR LUCIFER FOUND IT

OH! OH! Now that you mentioned it - i LOVE that about him! I just absolutely ADORE little thing he made for the add in the first episode. And i love this fact because 1) he's the first character i like that likes to draw canonically (okay maybe also toothless from httyd?) 2) Me and Alastor share so many similarities, and even drawing???? This just makes me love him even more (i'm sure we would hate each other irl tho AHAHHAHAHA or maybe not, idk)

SO, SINCE ME AND AL ARE SO SIMILAR, I'M GONNA PROJECT ON HIM MY DRAWING HABITS >:3c Forgive me this one, i usualy don't do that, i usualy project characters on myself haha

He DOES have sketchbooks just to draw, and they are ORGANISED. He's numbers every sketchbook and counts every drawing in them since the first one. He also has two numbers for each page - through one sketchbook and through them all. He has over 300 of sketchbooks by now (I have less, only 56). They are stashed somewhere in a very safe place.

Every sketchbook has a date of first and last drawing. Also amount of drawings. It looks like: NOTEBOOK 253 (number of sketchbook, also he doesn't call them sketchbooks) 03.06.1978-05.07.1978 (dates while it was active) 119 (amount of drawings) 29961-30080 (which numbers of drawings are in this sketchbook) He would cound something else, but he's just too busy to spend time on it. He can remember something thinking about what he was drawing in that period and vice versa

He used to draw at overlords meetings, pissing off Carmila and everyone else, because it looked like he hadn't listened to them, so Carmila banned drawing at overlords meetings (Alastor is still angry about it)

But he doesn't progress too much - most of his progress was made through first 10-20 sketchbooks, now he only has slight style changes sometimes when he feels like it

Tho he's really proud of his current skill and used to think that he's literally the best (used to get angry when reminded that it's not true) (now he kinda knows, but still likes his own drawings, doesn't accept criticism and doesn't try to purposely improve)

He likes showing his drawings to people, he knows and if he does, you have to say that it's literally So Cool, show enthusiasm turning pages and say that everything is just amazing. If you don't, he'll be OFFENDED. He also can leave a sketchbook opened on a page with a drawing he likes the most, and it's like a sign "NOTICE THAT I'M DRAWING AND SAY THAT YOU LIKE IT"

If he considers you a friend (well not like Rosie, but at least like Charlie), he'll be showing you his drawings regularly (and you have to be enthusiastic about it!!!!!!) He has showed it to Charlie, but somehow her enthusiasm is... too much. She's too patronising about it. He also shows his things to Husk, he knows that Husk is annoyed and doesn't give a shit, and he just enjoys his annoyance. He also shows his drawings to Niffty and she gives him Just Right amount and vibe of enthusiasm. (He sometimes draws something for her fanfiction if he likes something enough and enjoys Niffty's reaction (she explodes from happiness)). BUT!!!!! He never shows anything to Mimzy. Because she's like, person from the real life, and he feels like she would laugh at it. To Rosie he shows only things he considers his best and her opinion is the most important to him. He can even forgive her criticism (wouldn't take it tho) (she never critisizes him and absolutely ADORES his drawings). Angel kinda likes his drawings, but isn't enthusiastic about them enough

He doesn't take requests (Angel tried "draw me like one of your french girls" shit, Alastor never did (also his ass did not get the reference and he was like "i dont??? have??? any french girls????")) (Vox also tried to make Alastor draw something for him, Alastor was just "that's interesting, i'll think about it" and never thought of it again)

SOME OF HIS DRWINGS TURNED OUT TO BE PROPHECIES but he notices that only when something happens and then he goes back to his old sketchbooks and accidentally finds it. They are just coincidenses tho, but it's fun and Alastor makes a big deal from it and screams to Rosie like "I PREDICTED THAT SHIT 27 YEARS AGO" when finds out. (it's how i predicted many plot points from SU and literally TOH hunter's possession before the show even was a thing JHJDFJHFGJFDHKH i wonder if i predicted something from Hazbin, i need to look through my sketchbooks now)

If you dare to mess with his drawings and vandalise them... oh... you better pray to whatever god you belive in to make your sufferings be enough to redeem your sins and go to heven.

[starberry-cupcake]

back by popular (?) demand, I am now starting chapter 28 of gideon the ninth and I guess I'm sharing updates to the general public now ( @lady-harrowhark this is your responsibility). I think I'm gonna put them under this tag because I am being told I will want to look back on them later (sounds threatening ngl).

previously, in gideon the ninth:

isaac was ended by some junji ito shit

jannemary was ended by a stealthy junji ito shit

very pointed messages were written for them

which is too dramatic to be a random monster killing, if you ask me

gideon took a 15 minute nap and was startled awake in hell

gideon most definitely did not look much at the room before she took said nap, nor did she remember the paper she's still carrying around

I'm losing my mind at the paper

I'm like watching another d&d player choose to never look at something the dm gave them

were we are now:

gideon is back, now with More Trauma

harrow has the compassion of a feral kitten

this is a bad combination for me, personally, in particular, because this means gideon is going to look for comfort in my mortal enemy dulcinea

she gives her a talk that is trying to distract me from the fact that I don't trust her, but I will never trust her

she was like "it'd be better to die here than to be living longer and trapped" and I was like "wanna let me help you with that?"

palamedes has also been carrying a dulcinea boner, which also makes things difficult for me

because if my mortal enemy ends up being bad and dangerous, and palamedes is in danger, it would force camilla to be in danger, and we don't want, under any circumstances, to put camilla in danger

mayonnaise uncle has been gossiping in the eighth and ortus's mom (where I'm from, 'orto' means 'ass', so I will never forget his name) spilled the beans on the ninth

he offers gideon literal tea with a side of the metaphorical tea

here's where I went "boy, I sure hope harrow doesn't push gideon away and gives her a reason to turn to these guys"

harrow proceeds to do just that

with clockwork precision

I cannot emphasize enough how meticulously she did this

if pushing people away was an olympic sport, and if that was the way to judge this competition, this book would be 10 pages long because harrow has mastered the craft

you could hear gideon's psyche becoming dust

needless to say, we're having tea with the eighth soon, everyone bring your scones and poison

which, you know, fine, at least gideon will be told information

and btw, protesilaus is still live reacting from an unknown location

idk what regina george twin, yandere simulator twin and chad the third are doing but, at this point, I don't know what anyone is doing, really

except for dulcinea, I JUST KNOW she's up to no good

and the second is probably still dealing with the fact that they lost to Camilla The Everything

[arizariia]

Miguel O'Hara As Your Boyfriend Headcanons

This is just the first of my work from TikTok that I'm reposting here. I made a few changes, so it's not exactly the same.

Warnings: None Pairing: F/M Word Count: 691

Prepare to be treated like a princess. He's such a gentleman with you. The type to always show up 10 minutes before a date, hold open the door for you, have a bouquet ready, etc. He is the type of man who insists that you don't have to split the bill. He'll pay for you.

Miguel would prefer to sit down and plan dates with you. He wouldn't feel comfortable with surprise dates until he's known you for some time and is more in tune with your preferences. These planning sessions can result in him stressing out too much about it.

Since there's no way you wouldn't be smaller than him, he gets a kick out of picking you up. He also likes to place things on high shelves, so you'll have to stand on a chair or get him to help. He finds it adorable.

He will always be the big spoon. You'll fall asleep on your side of the bed and wake up in his arms. He's a cuddle monster, even though he doesn't want to admit it.

He wouldn't be against PDA, but the most he'll do is hold your hand and give you quick pecks on the cheek here and there. He's a bit of a prude in public.

If you have any hobbies, Miguel will do his best to get into them. At the very least, understand them better. If it's something nerdy, you'll definitely walk in on him looking at the Wiki page for whatever fandom you're in while wearing reading glasses.

Miguel is a provider, and his love language is gift-giving and acts of service.

His gift-giving can range from buying you that cute dress you said you wanted and tickets for a luxury cruise. He wants to spoil you. This results in him unintentionally becoming your sugar daddy. Since he's usually busy with work, he thinks giving you things can make up for his absence.

If he has the time, he loves to cook for you and prepare your meals. Grocery shopping is also quite enjoyable with him, and he always encourages you to come with him to the store. However, he will side-eye you if you gravitate towards junk food. Cooking is also therapeutic for him. Even if you can cook, you'll usually sit off to the side, watching Miguel work his magic.

When you start living together, he starts doing some of your chores. You'll have to tell him to divide them instead.

At first, Miguel would only call you by your first name when you started dating. It takes a few months for him to address you by a term of endearment. Usually, he would call you by a Spanish endearment, but occasionally, he'll use an English endearment.

Arguments with him aren't frequent. When they do happen, Miguel will shut down. He hates it when these scenarios, especially if he's the cause of the problem. Miguel tends to be the first to apologize in these cases. He will also cut up some fruit for you as a peace offering. However, if you need space, Miguel respects that and waits until you're ready to talk. He isolates himself when that happens.

If you're shy or are the type to withhold your opinions, he's actively encouraging you to express yourself more. He would also make jokes that you're too nice.

If you're not Mexican, he's gonna share his culture with you. If you don't know Spanish, he's gonna teach you. Don't worry. He's surprisingly patient with you. He also wants to learn more about your own culture.

He's a good singer, and he takes full advantage of it. Sometimes, it's to serenade you. Other times (AKA most times), he's just being goofy. He keeps doing it because he knows you like it. Don't mention it around his colleagues. He'll get embarrassed.

Telling you that he's Spider-Man wouldn't be something he'd reveal to you for a long time. When he finally decides to do the reveal, it's more of a spur-of-the-moment decision. But let's be honest, you figured it out months ago. There's only one man in Neuva York who's that double-cheeked up. 

[transmascaraa]

!300 followers special!

giving the fontainians bouquets!

characters: bf!/gf!every fontaine character x gn!reader

author's note: THANK YOU GUYS FOR 300 FOLLOWERS AND I DECIDED TO DO THIS, WELL, THE IDEA WAS SUGGESTED BY MY LOVELY @mariaace AND I THINK IT'S ADORABLE! this is what the poll was about btw lmfao ANYWAYS enjoy<33

✧ Furina

-blushing.

-adorable blushing.

-"o-oh! t-thank you, [name]! i didn't expect such a... beautiful bouquet... but i'm not complaining, don't get me wrong!"

-she would keep that bouquet in your guys' house for the rest of eternity.

-and would combine it with every other bouquet/flower you gave her.

-she loves you 5 times more now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✿⁠ Neuvillette

-"w-well... this is certainly.. unexpected. but.. thank you. you truly are thoughtful."

-he would be flustered but definitely wouldn't try to hide it as many others would.

-it's a really pleasant feeling for him and he sees no point in trying to hide it, especially from the person causing it.

-aka the one he loves.

-keeps the bouquet on his nightstand, making sure none of the flowers die or lose color.

-and if at least one flower does, he'll write you a 10 page paragraph apology with a big bouquet next to it.

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☆ Wriothesley

-"oh, well... thank you, i suppose. *wink*"

-he'd be so much more flirty and teasing after that.

-i mean, he'll keep the flowers and take care of them, but he'll tease you a lot more.

-more frequent winks and smug looks to you.

-he just knows you love it when he makes you blush like that.

-not like you're complaining in the first place.

-and he's expecting more flowers after that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✯ Navia

-THIS BEAUTY OF A WOMAN.

-will definitely blush and elegantly take it in her hands while she smells the flowers.

-"wow... they're so beautiful... thank you, really..!"

-she values your relationship a lot but now she values it even more.

-it really makes her feel loved and appreciated.

-probably would invite you to a dinner date afterwards, where you eat macaroons together.

-and keep the bouquet eternally.

-idk i have a thing for fictional blondes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✷ Clorinde

-she's not playable yet but ughhhh

-she's perfect she would literally blush but still try to keep her intimidating and serious behavior.

-"this is... for me? thank you, i suppose."

-if you tease her about her blushing you'll just make her blush even more.

-but don't do it, let her get comfortable with you aka get to somewhere more private.

-this woman will literally send you a letter signed by "champion duelist" not wanting you to know that it was her.

-the letter consisted of a "thank you." and a purple flower tied to it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⑅ Lyney

-unexpectedly, he would blush really hard.

-like ofc he would do his best to mask it but you can see through him almost like lynette, you've known him long enough.

-"a-ah! mon amour..! this is simply beautiful and so kind of you! but- i'm the one who gives you flowers, not the other way around, right?"

-wether you agree or disagree with him, he will continue blushing.

-will keep the flowers on your guys' living room table, to remind him of this moment anytime.

-do it more and see how much longer he can keep masking all of that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

๑ Freminet

-"w-why thank you, [name]... y-you're really sweet..."

-a blushing mess.

-the flowers will be taken care of, no worries!

-but the way his heart started beating fast when you gave him the flowers made him smile.

-he tried to hide the blushing but he failed, too captivated by your confidence.

-he's probably gonna talk to lyney and lynette all worried with how his dear beloved makes him feel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✪ Lynette

-"this is.. certainly an unexpected gift. thank you sincerely, [name]."

-she'd blush but she's too good at hiding it.

-wether you notice or not, she'll act the same.

-it's not exactly "serious mode" after that.

-but she will keep the bouquet and take care of it.

-she would let you know that she liked it and that she kept it, sure, but not as emotionally as the others would.

-she's adorable when you notice her blushing face tho.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

× Arlecchino

-i had to include her since she's a fontainian too.

-"this is for me? well, i can't say i don't like it, so, thank you, if that's what you wish to hear."

-she's not one of those who would blush, instead, she'd either make you blush, or just let you know that she likes it with a genuine smile.

-honestly, in both situations, she'd make you blush.

-she just has that captivating aura, not like she would blush like a child right then and there unlike lyney

-but yeah i see her keeping the flowers too

-the only difference after that would be her reminding you of that whenever you disagreed with her for whatever reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⊹ Chiori

-not exactly a fontainian but she does live in fontaine so ig i have to include her

-i love her and i love her personality and i love how she would react.

-"this is all... for me? why, thank you, my dear. i don't remember a time when i felt this appreciated."

-there would be some faint blush on her cheeks but her eyes showed more.

-they showed her thankfulness/gratefulness for you aka for having you in her life.

-now those flowers stand on her shop window, making the boutique look even more stylish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⊰ Chevreuse

-she's so underrated imo

-she's not used to love/gifts at all but this definitely made her happy.

-"thank you, i guess. i've never received something like this, but i'm glad i finally did. and it's from you."

-i see her having a huge soft spot for you, especially after that.

-will definitely talk to chiori about you and this moment.

-she'll even give you a bouquet a few days after as a sign of gratefulness and returning the favor.

-she cares for you a lot deep down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YAYYYY I'M DONE<3

i didn't include sigewinne cuz i wanted to make this romantic (i think that's all of them for now btw)

but yeah i hope you guys like it^^

| @mariaace <3

[sneakyparsnipslicer]

Birthday Transformation

Michael was on his last day of being 29, in just a handful of hours, he would be 30 years old, which isn't the end of the world, but to some it spells 'Twink Death'

And that's just what Michael had been, at least for the past decade; a blonde-haired twink. Of course it wasn't always that way. At one point Michael was a gangly ginger guy, and the change wasn't one he'd intended to go about.

On the night Michael turned 20, his body had completely transformed, the curly ginger hair shortening and becoming blonde, his body structure shortening and his body becoming more taught, even the goofy face and teeth had changed. It had baffled many who had known him in his college years, and it had changed him in a big way, no longer the unpopular art student, but a studly young man who changed courses for sports and fitness. He definitely became popular with the college athletes, though it was safe to say he'd spent a lot more of the past decade bottoming rather than topping. For a confident guy, his slim build didn't particularly scream dominating.

Of course as times had rolled on, more tools became useful to him, the invention of TikTok and OnlyFans had helped Michael build a following, even an income. He frequented the gyms in town to maintain his slim yet stocky build, for some it only made him more irresistable. In the year leading up to his 30th birthday however, close friends had begun talking about what turning 30 could mean for this career he'd built up. It's true many gay men lose interest in twinks when they turn 30, no longer as boyish-looking as they used to be, and Michael was no exception. Even he had begun to notice the wrinkles on his forehead when he raised his eyebrows. But who knows, maybe that miracle that happened 10 years ago might happen again.

Michael finished his day and headed home, made himself some dinner, had a shower and took off his clothing, looking at his body in the mirror in his bedroom. He'd put a lot of work into his appearance, keeping up with popular haircuts, wearing clothing that was in fashion, ensuring he kept some muscle despite the slim body. He thought back to his reaction when he'd woken up on his 20th birthday and his body had completely changed overnight, he was completely different, but it was still him. He massaged his smooth cheeks and chiseled jaw, he'd strangely never been able to grow facial hair. His pecs felt nice, if flat, his abs on point, his dick was pretty average, but then it wasn't like it mattered to the guys he'd slept with over the past decade, they were more busy pounding the bubble butt he called an ass. He took his phone off charge and took one last selfie, captioning it.

'Twink Death in T-Minus 2 Hours!'

He chuckled as he posted it, watching as it got reactions from the regulars on his social pages. Just then his phone began to ring, it was his friend Ryan. He swiped up and put the phone to his ear. 'Hey Ryan, what's up?' Michael asked. 'Hey Mike, I'm good. Just saw your post, you're not still hung up on that whole Twink Death thing are you?' Ryan asked. 'Oh, nah, it's all good. I'll just be turning 30, no biggie!' replied Michael, shrugging. 'Good mate, it's just I want you to know no matter what people say, you're still a gorgeous guy. That's not gonna change overnight' said Ryan. Michael looked back to his reflection and thought for a moment, what if this change he was thinking of didn't happen. 'You still there Mike?' asked Ryan, jumping Michael out of his trance. 'Oh, yeah, sorry just getting ready for bed. Look, shall we meet up for coffee tomorrow?' asked Michael. 'Yeah sounds good, maybe I can get some extra cream for the Birthday Boy' replied Ryan seductively. Michael laughed. 'Shut up Ryan! You get some sleep buddy. See you tomorrow!' chuckled Michael. Ryan wasn't bad really, he'd always had a soft spot for him. He was one of the few friends that knew Michael before his first transformation, and what a revelation that had been for both of them. Michael put his phone on his bedside desk and put a sheet over his mirror, he wanted to be surprised if a change did infact happen. He turned the lights out, sighed happily and snuggled up warm in his bed.

Michael had fallen deep asleep by midnight and that was when the magic began. It started with a growling in his gut as his stomach began to push out against his abs. Hair began to sprout out from his clean-shaven chest and arms as they began to bulk up and his shoulders became more broader and muscular. His hands grew and became more calloused, his legs and feet lengthened and became more hairier, hair was just growing from everywhere. Michael had taken to keeping everything clean-shaven, even his ass and groin, but these tiny dark hairs were coming from everywhere. His dick began to widen and lengthen, becoming a 7-inch girthy fuckstick with some pretty nice balls and his ass became two hefty, hairy melons that filled out his boxers better than before. Despite his body becoming bigger, his muscle definition didn't grant him too big of a gut, he wasn't skin and bones anymore, but he had a pretty huggable frame. Michael's neck began to fill out and dark facial hair began to sprout out, covering his chin, cheeks and jawline. His blonde hair grew out and became a dark brown, as did his eyebrows, becoming bushier and his face restructured granting him a sharp nose with some pretty kissable lips nestled nicely in his beard. The hair on his head kept it's relatively side-swept style, but it became a lot thicker and bushier, and there he laid in his bed, a changed man and yet unaware.

Michael woke up with a yawn, stretching and moving his hands down below the covers to stroke his morning wood under his boxers. 'Mmmm, nice' murmured Michael, feeling his new dick and snapping his eyes open in realisation, sitting upright and examining his new body. He was hairy to say the least, and he actually had a chest that a man could rest their head on now. He couldn't believe it had actually happened again! 'Holy fucking shit!' Michael gasped excitedly, feeling his throat realising his voice had become deeper. He sprang out of bed and tore the sheet off the mirror, being greeted by the man he had become overnight. He examined his face closely in the mirror, feeling his facial hair as it bristled against his fingers. The face itself looked strangely youthful, but worn. Honestly it was a look that Michael didn't mind, it was an experienced look. 'Goodbye Twink, Hello Daddy!' Michael said, laughing. He looked to his fully erect dick and then back to his reflection, wiggling his eyebrows and biting his lip, smiling. 'Guess we're not bottoming anymore huh? Unless someone's feeling brave!' Michael chuckled, feeling his dick again. He lowered his boxers and grabbed his shaft, enjoying the sight of himself masturbating. He began to work up a sweat and after some choice filthy talk, he came over his reflection in the mirror. Panting and leaning on the mirror, he looked his face up and down and smiled. 'We hit the fucking jackpot this time!' he whispered excitedly, kissing his reflection passionately. He was interrupted by the sound of his phone buzzing, it was Ryan.

'Hey Mike! Happy Birthday man!' said Ryan happily. 'Ryan! Dude! It's so good to hear you! Thanks!' replied Michael breathily. 'Whoa man, you sound groggy as fuck! You just woke up?' asked Ryan. 'Uh, yeah. Something like that. We still on for coffee?' asked Michael, eyeing his wardrobe. 'Yeah, I can get to our usual spot in half an hour, sound good?' asked Ryan. 'Perfect! I'll see you soon. Got a few surprises for you!' said Michael, grinning and hanging up before Ryan could respond. He opened his wardrobe doors and grabbed a shirt, but then hesitated. He looked at the shirt and his reflection, he just wasn't feeling it. The styles he'd grown to wear just weren't doing it for him anymore, he searched his wardrobe for something grittier, leathery. He settled on a pair of ripped jeans, brown boots, white t-shirt and a leather jacket. He ruffled up his hair, this was a look he was vibing with. He used to be neat and fancy, but now he just wanted to be laid-back, smoky and seductive, like a Greaser. He pocketed his phone and headed out to the carpark to his car. Again he had a small car that did the job, but what he was really craving was a motorbike. He shook his head, he could sell his car later and get a motorbike, right now he had a date with Ryan, maybe he could get some cigarettes on the way.

Michael was still Michael and had always been him, the sporty fashion twink was gone now, a memory of a past life alongside the nerdy artist before him. This decade he was gonna be a lean leather daddy, and he was gonna love every day of it.

[xzhdjsj]

By Your Side

Isaac x Reader

Isaac comforts you

Reader is on their period and frustrated with work.

Anyone ever had cramps so damn bad it made you throw up? Cuz that was me last week and istg i was gonna die

Also this was supposed to be entirely fluff but idk what happened and now we have this😭 It all works out in the end though!

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

And there it is again, that discomfort in your lower abdomen and back, a tell-tale sign that your period was on its merry way to ruin your week. With a hand across your stomach, you quickly tapped your phone, checking the date. Who knew a month of cramp-free frolicking would be over that quickly. You mentally curse yourself for not keeping track again and head off to the bathroom.

It's been a day since then, and as you’d expected you feel no better. It'd take a miracle for that to happen anyways. Periods are horrible, it makes your mood sour and your body ache. Not to mention it's annoying and a hindrance to your work. That doesn't mean that Isaac lacks understanding and thinks it a hindrance too, quite the opposite actually. Isaac insists you don't lift a finger if you're not feeling well, and if you do, he's always close to keep an eye on you.

Though, that doesn't always translate well in your mind.

You sat opposite him in his office, hovering over a document you've read at least 10 times but still can't seem to grasp. Each time you feel like you understood, you realise your mind had wondered off in the middle of it or you got distracted by the throbbing pain in your lower abdomen.

Isaac's gaze would find you every minute or so. He'd flip a page, then look up. Or he'd type a sentence and glace at you before continuing. It was his little system of ensuring you weren't struggling.

This time his eyes find you in a frantic state. You let out a deep sigh, flipping the page over to start reading from the top all over again. The frustration was evident, knitted in your eyebrows and the frown on your face. Your eyes were unfocused, and you kept shifting your body every few minutes.

"Are you okay?" Isaac broke the silence.

"What?" You look up at him confused by his sudden question, and a little annoyed your focus was once again broken.

"I asked if you were okay."

You rubbed the side of your neck and sigh.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine." You dismiss him, returning to the words on the page in front of you. Adamant to get it right this time.

"Are you really? You look a tired Pickle." His voice knocks your focus again.

"I'm fine Isaac." You tell him again. this time sternly.

"Are you sur-"

Your fingers massage the bridge of your nose, and your patience runs thin.

"God Isaac, I said I'm fine! I'm perfectly capable of working right now! It's literally just a period, I'm not bed ridden or something!" The words pour from your lips before you could think them through and instantly, you regret it.

"Right, I'm sorry dear. I was just worried." He's a little surprised, had you looked at him while speaking you'd see the way his eyes reflected it.

To be honest, you’re a little surprised at yourself too, but all you could think of right now was how the FUCK do you respond to that? You open your mouth to say something, anything really, but when you finally looked over at him, he's already shifted his focus to the screen in front of him. There isn't a single thing you could think of to say to him anyways.

You bend your head again, looking at the page you deemed so important earlier. Now it was just insignificant, and part of the reason for your outburst.

'How foolish' you thought to yourself, getting upset at him for showing concern over a matter he had little experience with. And despite his inexperience, he was only trying to help. It wasn't like you got any work done in the 30? 45 minutes? an hour? you were sat here. That only meant that he was right, you were clearly having a difficult time and he was observant enough to had noticed it.

The regret crashes into your chest like a tsunami. You wondered how he was feeling right now. You were considerably rude, surely that would hurt him. What if that gave him the impression that he was annoying? Because he most certainly was not! What have you done?

The thoughts swirled around your head like a brewing storm, threatening to explode at any moment. It didn't help that various parts of your body were still in pain and the only sound in the room was papers being shuffled and the clicking sounds of his keyboard. The pain gnawed at your flesh and the silence burgeoned your thoughts. There’s a lump in your throat and you’re not quite sure if you need to throw up from the pain or cry your eyes out. It was only when a single teardrop dripped onto the page below you that you realised you didn't want to be in the room anymore. You swiftly lifted your body from the chair and Isaac looked over at you right away. You couldn't return the notion; the bubbling pot of shame and regret wouldn’t let you.

"I uh,” your voice cracked and you're still unsure of what to say. "Excuse me."

You quickly push past the desk, rushing out the door. You were able to hold yourself together in front of him, but once outside, your emotions came tumbling over. The tears flowed freely down your cheeks, and you ran up the stairs to your room.

You threw yourself onto the sheets, your face buried into a pillow as your body folded into itself like an armadillo. It hurts so much. Your body, your mind, it all hurts. You sobbed into the pillow, squeezing it tightly against your chest for what felt like an eternity.

Eventually, there was a gentle knock on the door, then a soft call of your name as the door slowly swung open. You didn't hesitate, discarding the pillow quickly to sit up and voice your scrabbled thoughts.

"Isaac I'm so sorry! I- I didn't mean to yell at you- I know you were just concerned and I should’ve listened to you when you said I could rest for today-"

He takes big steps towards the bed, immediately taking you in his arms.

"Shhhhh, calm down my love. It's okay."

You're gripping onto his shirt for dear life, sobbing into his chest but he doesn't care, he pulls you even closer engulfing you fully into his body. His arms were secure and protective around you as he whispered sweet nothings into your hair. His voice is so gentle and soothing, and when combined with his hand caressing up and down your back, your choked sobs were simmered down to deep breathing in no time.

"Are you feeling better?" He asks and you nod.

"I'm sorry I was so rude to you." You were barely able to murmur.

"Are you still worried about that? I won't lie, I was taken by surprise but only because this has never happened to me before. I know you aren't feeling your best today, so I understand why it happened." He explained, leaning down to place a tender kiss on your forehead. "Now, are you in any pain?"

You sigh, "Yeah, I think my cramps are extra bad this time."

"Do you want me to get you something to eat? Maybe I could make you some tea and I'll get you some painkillers."

"No!" You suddenly move and the pain stabs you sharply in your side. "Ah shit!"

"Careful, Pickle" Isaac helps you, guiding your body down onto the bed. "I'll go get you those pills, hold on for me okay?"

"Isaac, can't you just stay? Please?"

"I'll be back before you know it, just stay here for a couple minutes. You’re very strong, I’m sure you can handle just that right?"

He disappears out the door, but as promised, returns after a few minutes.

"This is all I could find." He presented a single pill to you with a glass of water. "I'll need to make sure we get some more and find other alternatives to help you. I've read that heating pads are very common, so I ordered you one."

You take the pill from his hand, washing it down with some water.

"When did you do all that?"

"Just now, before I came up here."

"So, I yelled at you and you were researching and ordering a heating pad for me? Now, I feel even more awful!" You body falls back down onto the bed.

"Don't. It happens to the best of us, I'm well aware frustration isn't easy to handle." He casually spoke while getting into bed next to you. He reached for the blanket while you nuzzled closer to him, pulling it over your bodies.

“Am I disturbing your work?” You ask.

“No, it can wait.” He was quick to dismiss the idea of work. “I was thinking, what should I make you for dinner?”

He rubs circles in your back, from top to bottom. The warmth from his hands and the effects on the painkillers relaxed your body and made your eyelids heavy.

“You’re gonna cook for me?” You yawn.

“What? Is my cooking not good?” He teased playfully.

You giggle at his response. “Hmm of course not, I love your food. But I don’t know, hmmm how about mashed potatoes?”

“Just mashed potatoes?”

“Yeah, that’s all I want.”

“Sounds easy enough.” He kisses the top of your head. “You should get some rest now.”

“You’ll stay with me, right?” You yawn again.

“Of course my love, and when you open your eyes again, I promise I’ll still be here.”

His gentle hand against your back, and comforting scent made your body heavy and lulled you to sleep in no time. You dreamt of him, and when you woke up again, he was still there with you, eyes closed and mellow breathing as he slept.

[da-shrimping-station]

Cooking for the House of Lamentation

Let me start this post by saying that over the years I've had plenty of experience cooking for a lot of people. I'm no expert cook whatsoever, just a helping hand in the kitchen during festivals and occasions (which happens multiple times in a year). If you have more experience and insights, please feel free to share!

Let’s start this off by having some sort of baseline so we’re all on the same page.

MC /OC/you/us/we (and what have you) can:

follow a recipe well enough

be in the kitchen and not have it burn down

cook an edible meal at the end of it all

A fairly average cook if you will.

Now, time for chaos.

Cooking for a lot of people is…a lot. A feast for upwards of 10 people can take the whole day. Not to mention buying ingredients beforehand. How many dishes are you gonna cook? Do they go well/compliment each other? What’s the serving size? Are you gonna have desserts too? Do you have the right equipment? Are the ingredients available/accessible? Is there anyone who has a food-specific condition to look out for and make alternatives for? Are there ingredients that need to be marinated/prepped in advanced? Is everything within budget? (These are some questions at the top of my head)

Now the main concern here is volume/quantity. Beelzebub. Need I say more?

Actually, YES. It’s a house full of men. Men eat a lot. Oh, and they’re also demons. So let’s assume they eat/consume significantly more than humans. (You can pitch in your HCs for each brother regarding how much they eat) But let’s say the food has to be for 10-15 people at the very least.

GROCERY RUN!

There’s a whole ass booklet for the groceries, with each brother having their own page/section. Let’s assume there’s no budget constraints (Lucifer can bitch about the cost and budgeting but his brothers need to be fed). Groceries are bought in bulk. Multiple times a week. Emergency trips in the middle of the night or else they starve for breakfast. 

At some point they get their groceries delivered every 3 days or so. The runs are now for necessity/emergency.

But if a brother requests a certain dish, then it’s time to go to the market. Prepare your haggling skills.

THE BATTLEFIELD

Based off of the game (and referencing the floor plan from Wanderer’s Whereabouts), the kitchen is actually pretty spacious. Good. We need all the space we can get for this. I’d like to think Barbatos personally made sure the kitchen is fully kitted out with all the equipment and utensils one needs. (Thanks, Barbs. You’re the best!) No worries on that end.

I headcanon that the kitchen is split into 2 parts: the side where the stoves and appliances are and the side where the dirty kitchen is. That way you have access to stoves/ovens and the fancy appliances as well as being able to cook with coal or in a spit. Increases the capacity for cooking multiple dishes at once. (Please share your HCs for the kitchen!)

PREP TIME

Prepare your hands and arms. Washing, peeling, chopping, dicing, slicing, marinating. Any and every sort of ingredient prep. How many ingredients does this dish have? Are you gonna prep one dish only? Are you gonna prep for two in advance? Mis en place (or whatever the term is im no culinary shrimp)

Also think about the sheer amount of ingredients.

Say, according to the cookbook, this dish serves 5 people and it needs 1 whole onion. Pretty straight forward right? But you’re cooking for 7 demon brothers and one being the Avatar of Gluttony. Let’s go back to the 10-15 people approximation. That means you have to increase the amount (in this case that’ll be 2 or 3 whole onions). That goes for every fucking dish. 3 onions for dish #1. What about dish #2 and #3 and so on? (Honestly, your hands must be well marinated by the time you’re done with all the prep)

Measuring the ingredients too. 1 cup of this, a tablespoon of that, a pinch of this. Please please please let there be enough soy sauce for tonight’s cooking.

Another thing: you’re probably dealing with local Devildom ingredients (which you did not even know existed until then)

Veggies? Sliced

Meats? Washed and cut.

Condiments and seasonings? All measured.

Are we ready to cook? NO.

Please clean up the peels, excesses, undesirables, and packaging.

GET THE FIRE GOING

Finally! The actual cooking part! Take a deep breath and put that pot on the stove. Good luck cuz you’re gonna be juggling between multiple dishes just to be able to get ready for dinnertime.

One dish is boiling so the meat softens? Time to fry. Oh and have you checked the one you were marinating? Please add that to the veggies in dish #2. Don’t overcook the pasta for dish #1! Please adjust the heat, that pot is boiling over. Taste test for dish #3. Hhm needs more salt. Is the meat soft enough? Good, let's season it. Please mind the fire! You’re gonna char the one you’re frying. This one has marinated long enough, we can add it to dish #2. Take dish #1 off the heat. I think it’s done. Do you think this is fried well enough?

It’s hectic. It’s a mess and a half. You make sure nothing is overcooked or undercooked. Taste test to make sure everything tastes fine. (are the dishes safe for human consumption tho)

ALL DONE!(?)

You wish! Now you have to deal with the clean up!

Wash everything you used for cooking. Pots, pans, knives, measuring cups and spoons, plates and bowls you put the ingredients in, the tasting spoons you used, the ladles and spatulas, etc

Please clean the stoves, sinks, countertops/tabletops too.

Oh yea, put away the excess ingredients and return the condiments and seasonings.

You still there? Still got energy to study and do homework later?

Personally, i clean as i go whenever i have the time in between tending to the dishes. I hate hate hate a messy/dirty kitchen while i cook it makes me wanna rage

DINNERTIME

These fuckers better sit down and eat what you cooked. No. Who the fuck cares if someone is being rowdy or moody or being dramatic. NO ONE wastes your efforts in preparing the food. Sit down and EAT.

I mean alright, maybe you can tag team dinner prep but it’s still a lot in terms of quantity and sheer volume. Will that brother be of actual help in the kitchen?

To sum it all up,

May the Universe have mercy on MC when they’re on cooking duty.

[pippin-katz]

I need a cast audiobook of RWRB. If no one else, then at least Taylor and Nick reading Alex and Henry. I need it in my life.

And in ACD fashion, here’s a few lists of lines/conversations from the book that I am desperate to hear them say. I want to hear them read all of the lines, but these are the ones that pop out to me!

Post Writing Note: These turned out to be way longer than I thought they were going to be 😭😂

Alex Lines:

Oh yeah, that was a wild night. Two whole keynote speakers. Nothing sexier than shrimp cocktails and an hour and a half of speeches on carbon emissions. - page 5

'Archnemesis' implies he's actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck-up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself. - page 7

Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone. - page 77

I always thought you’d kill me in a more personal way. Silk pillow over my face, slow and gentle suffocation. Just you and me. Sensual. - page 80

Shut up, shut all the way up, oh my God. - page 131

For fuck's sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night. - page 145

What in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell? - page 149

Bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry. - page 194

Listen: I'll fly to London right now and pull you out of whatever pointless meeting you're in and make you admit how much you love it when I call you "baby". I'll take you apart with my teeth, sweetheart. - page 204

You don't get to sit up here and pretend like it's someone else's problem. None of us do. - page 209

i want to see a cage match between your grandmother and this fucking ghoul running against my mom. - page 221

I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn't have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? - page 244

Henry! Your Royal fucking Highness! - page 269

Really nice. Fuckin' ghost me for a week, make me stand in the rain like a brown John Cusack, and now you won't even talk to me. I'm really just having a great time here. I can see why y'all had to marry your fucking cousins. - page 270

I fucking love you, okay? Fuck, I swear. You don't make it fucking easy. But I'm in love with you. - page 271

I'll leave, as soon as you tell me to leave. - page 275

Okay, I'm into making history. - page 280

I completely fucking love you. - page 291

I'm there for whatever you decide you want to do, just, like, let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war. - page 296

AN INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES Note: just the entire list, I need it, but I'll point out some of the best ones anyway lol

9. How hard you try. 10. How hard you've always tried. 11. How determined you are to keep trying. - page 303

16. Your huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart. 17. Your equally huge dick. 18. The face you just made when you read that last one. - page 303

20. The fact that you loved me all along. - page 303

God, I want to fight everyone who's ever hurt you, but it was me too, wasn't it? All that time. I'm so sorry. - page 303

Listen, I'm telling you right now, I will physically fight your grandmother myself if I have to, okay? And, like, she's old. I know I can take her. - page 312

You and me and history, remember? We're just gonna fucking fight. Because you're it, okay? I'm never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. - page 312

Sería una mentira, porque no sería él. (It would be a lie, because it wouldn't be him.) - page 317

but i've kissed your mouth, that corner, that place it goes, so many times now. i've memorized it. topography on the map of you, a world i'm still charting. i know it. i added it to the key. here: inches to miles. i can multiply it out, read your latitude and longitude. recite your coordinates like la rosaria. - page 319

give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you. - page 320

Zahra, you're my mean friend. - page 339

I've never... I haven't been through anything like that. But I've always felt it, in him. There's this side of him that's... unknowable. But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose. - page 344

For what it's worth, that is the bravest son of a bitch I've ever met. - page 347

My life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person. - page 371

You are, the absolute worst idea I've ever had. - page 372

FIRST SON ALEXANDER CLAREMONT-DIAZ'S ADDRESS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, OCTOBER 2, 2020 - pages 372-375 Note: just, the entire speech, the whole thing

America: He is my choice. - page 374

Henry Lines:

Hmm, I always liked Luke. He's brave and good, and he's the strongest Jedi of them all. I think Luke is proof that it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is--you can always be great if you're true to yourself. - page 45

The turkeys are not going to Jurassic Park you. You’re not the bloke from Seinfeld. You’re Jeff Goldblum. Go to sleep. - page 82

You are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life. - page 73

fucking eyelashes - page 142

I shall just have to make it the best orgasm of your life. What can I do to make it good for you? Talk about American tax reform during the act? Have you got talking points? - page 196

How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose? - pages 202-203

They wanted something less fruity than the truth, but truly, what is gayer than a woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown every day of her life, for the drama? - page 205

Someone else's choice doesn't change who you are. - page 229

Most things are awful most of the time, but you're good. - page 230

The phrase "see attached bibliography" is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. - page 241

Should I tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I've been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? - page 242 Note: based on the parts of this we did get to hear Nick say in the film, I think this would kill half the fandom lol

When have I ever, since the first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you? - page 272

I never thought I'd be stood here faced with a choice I can't make, because I never... I never imagined you would love me back. - page 273

The Mail will write mad speculations about where I've gone, if I've offed myself or vanished to St. Kilda, but only you and I will know that I'm just sprawled in your bed, reading books and feeding myself profiteroles and making love to you endlessly until we both expire in a haze of chocolate sauce. It's how I'd want to go. - page 294

Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock. - page 298

"Because I'm not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip." - page 298

But the first time I saw you. Rio. I took that down to the gardens. I pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase. It didn't fit in any rooms. - page 300

I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I though, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire. - page 300

And then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. - page 300 Note: I really wanted to just type out most of the page, but I restrained myself lmfao

I don't know if I would have chosen it yet, but it's out there now, and... I won't lie. Not about this. Not about you. - page 338

Bit short for a stormtrooper. - page 340

I've bloody well had it. I've sat about long enough letting you and Gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and I'm finished. I don't care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I'm done. - page 347

I've been as gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip. - page 353 Note: there's never too many times to hear the words "gay as a maypole" and the emotional infliction here is lot different lol

Both:

Am I offending you? Sorry I'm not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you. Do you know what? I think you are. Only a thought. Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustingly civil every time we've spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again. Simply an observation. - page 18

This is idiotic. Let's get it over with. I'd rather be waterboarded. Your country could probably arrange that. Go fuck yourself. Hardly enough time. - pages 36-37 Note: yes, I know Nick read this part in his book-to-screen video thingy but it's not the same as having them both saying the lines fully in character.

What does Jedi have? Fuckin' Ewoks. Ewoks are iconic. Ewoks are stupid. - page 52

yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe I BEG YOU TO NOT - page 84

I'm going to die. I'm going to kill you. Yes, you are. - page 133

You were jealous. You want me. Yes, you preening arse, I've wanted you long enough that I won't have you tease me for another fucking second. - page 137

Hi. Hello. I'm gonna take your pants off now. Yes, good, carry on. - page 141

Ugh, you look ridiculous. Should I-- What? No, of course not, keep them on. Oh my God, what are you doing? I can't even look at you. No, Jesus, I just mean--I'm so mad at you. Just, come here. Fuck. I'm quite confused. Me fucking too. - page 150

I'm not... historically great at talking about things. Well, I wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart. - page 165

Bitch, you took me there. alskdjfadslfjad NORA YOU BROKE HIM - page 212

D'you know what I want? What? I want, to do the absolute last thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Then tell me to do it, sweetheart. Fuck me. Well, when at Wimbledon. Just so we're clear, I'm about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like, that's what's happening? Right. Awesome, fucking' love doing things out of spite. - page 217 Note: I think this conversation could singlehandedly kill the fandom if we got to hear Taylor and Nick deliver these lines

Can't you ever just do one thing without having to be so goddamn extra about it? That is bloody rich coming from you. - pages 260-261

What do you want? I want you- Then fucking have me. -but I don't want this. - page 273

You seem... less pissy. You're one to talk. I wasn't the one who stormed the palace in a fit to call me an 'obtuse fucking asshole'. In my defense, you were an obtuse fucking asshole. - page 277

I honestly have never thought I deserved to choose. But you treat me like I do. You do. I think I'm actually starting to believe that. - page 279

What about you? What about me? Christ, Alex. The whole bloody time. The whole time? Since the Olympics. The Olympics? But that's, that's like- Yes, Alex, the day we met, nothing gets past you, does it? 'What about you,' he says, as if he doesn't know- Shut your mouth. - page 283-284

Hello, what was that for? I just, like, really love you. - page 286

What are you doing? I'm taking a picture of a national gay landmark. And also a statue. It's funny. I always thought of the whole things as the most unforgivable thing about me, but you act like it's one of the best. Oh, yeah. The top list of reason to love you goes brain, then dick, then imminent status as a revolutionary gay icon. You are quite literally Queen Victoria's worst nightmare. And that's why you love me. My god, you're right. All this time, I was just after the bloke who'd most infuriate my homophobic forebears. Ah, and we can't forget they were also racist. Certainly not. Next time we shall visit some of the George III pieces and see if they burst into flame. - page 289

If Alex from this time last year could see this. He'd say, 'Oh I'm in love with Henry? That must be why I'm such an arse to him all the time'. - page 387

[cq-studios]

Do you have any screenshots of your favorite details from KHUX?

HAHAHAHAHA, yeah I do

Gonna just drop a read more here 'cause if y'all know me at all you know this post is probably gonna be 10KM long lol

So, I'm gonna try to hold myself back a little because I literally have like 10 pages of notes about specifically stuff in the backgrounds and I doubt the internet will find my bench and lamppost count interesting. (Also image limit lol)

I'll list just 4 things for now (in no particular order) and talk about them a bit underneath.

NUMBER 1 || STREET SIGNS

So there are four street signs that we’ve seen in Daybreak Town. Two are in the Fountain Square (A and B), one is in the Marketplace (C), and one is in the Clocktower Outskirts map (D).

For B and D it’s pretty easy to figure out what the represent. B is a clock, probably representing the Clock Tower… or maybe the best place to see the Clocktower because it’s in Fountain Square. The overall shape of it is different from the rest of the signs so I imagine that means something. D is a gondola or canoe of some sort, which makes sense because it’s next to stairs that seemingly lead to the canal that runs through town. Maybe there’s a ferry system of some sort?

A and C I’m less sure about. The designs don’t really bring anything obvious to mind. Maybe C is Munny because it leads to the Marketplace? I’m not sure.

NUMBER 3 || DOOR UNDER FOUNTAIN SQUARE

See what makes this interesting to me isn’t just the fact that apparently Fountain Square is hollow underneath (maybe for pipe repairs or something, I don’t know) but just the general fact that a lot of structures in this town, that maybe shouldn’t be, are hollow.

If you look even some archways have windows, so there has to be an open space inside, right? Most of them seem at least connected to houses so I assume they’re basements or something. (The one by murder house gets me tho, like that’s right under the bridge. Who’s living right under the bridge)

And I also feel like this leads into the fact that, similarly but not as extreme as in Scala, Daybreak Town is kinda built on top of itself. Maybe that’s a symptom of being around so many (and possibly on) mountains but I still feel like it should be talked about more.

NUMBER 4 || LIGHTHOUSE INTERIOR MAP

There is so much to unpack here but I’ll try to keep it brief.

So I’m pretty sure this is one of, if not the oldest building in Daybreak Town. Two reasons.

1. Instead of having little wall lamps, like the rest of the town and buildings, all the light seems to come from mounted candles.

2. There are swords (A) on the walls and not Keyblades. Why would the Keyblade town not have Keyblades on its little shield emblem? Is it possibly because it was there before Keyblades?

This staircase here (B) is also the only known (not sewer drain) way into the waterways. It leads into the sewers then out to the little dock below the Lighthouse with the boat, hence the sign.

There’s these maps here (C) that I don’t really know what to say about, but is definitely worth pointing out. They’re all the same and I assume show the layout of the area surrounding the town (the darker parts being water). It could be a world map though (darker part being continents)… I don’t think we’ll ever really learn lol

And also I don’t know what this is (D) but I think it’s interesting that it has writing on it. It kinda gives me the vibe of those flat on the ground gravestones…

NUMBER 5 || BANNER

Daybreak Town actually has a flag it’s all over the place and you’ll start to see it everywhere if you look for it. They also kind of look like the banners in Radiant Garden. The colours and shape/mounting are the same but the designs on the flag itself (and mounting) is different.

I have no clue what that implies, if anything, but I figure it’s worth pointing out ‘cause it’s interesting.

[fernsnailz]

February 2024 Review Roundup

well i sure did watch some stuff and read one book this month

the things i finished this month reminded me that for every incredible piece of art i find myself enjoying, i end up watching some Hot Garbage immediately after to balance things out again. idk why i do this.

i have quite a bit to say about both the things i enjoyed and the things that brought me physical pain this month, so there is um. a lot under the cut. any previous desire for brevity i had in january has been completely thrown out the window as i use these roundups as an outlet to gush about things i like and complain about things i didn't. fair warning, if you open the readmore you will be scrolling for a while. enjoy i guess

House of Leaves

does any other book out there have the balls to write a completely fake interview with stephen king

House of Leaves is a novel you gotta throw around a little bit. It feels really weird that my copy is still in the pristine state I bought it in - It seems like it should have water damage and smell like mildew with its pages falling out and spine cracked into pieces. Getting the full story from this book requires flipping back and forth, turning it around, searching for answers. All things considered it’s not that difficult of a read, but its format still allows you to feel like you’re discovering every hidden piece for yourself, and I really liked that interactivity. I was engaged pretty much the whole way through.

I don’t really think I’ll be able to revisit this book anytime soon though. It’s difficult for me to format what else I’d like to say about it because to be honest, it caught me off guard and disturbed me on a fairly personal level. There’s a relief I feel when I remember that I don’t actually know what was going on with the house - maybe that was intentional on the book’s behalf, maybe I just didn’t look hard enough for answers. I don’t know. But the implication that something divine was down there was enough of an answer for me. The book's good. read it if you want a spooooooky time or if you never want to look at a hallway the same way again

Doctor Who (Series 1-4) (rewatch)

ok so this is a fuckload of doctor who to cover so i’m gonna give some thoughts on a few of the characters and my favorite + least favorite episodes

9th doctor: My favorite butch lesbian. Christopher Eccleston truly embodies the concept of The Doctor so, so well: otherworldly guy who knows too much, genuinely cares about life across the universe, and also has a bit of deep, unresolved rage. His moments of joy and careless fun stick with me the most, he absolutely radiates with life and brings so much to this character.

Rose: I first watched Doctor Who when I was in middle school, and I didn’t like Rose that much back then. And guys. I have bad news. I'm still not really much of a Rose fan

I definitely understood her more this watch through - that desire for adventure and some sort of control over her life, emotions so strong that she’s willing to throw near everything away. That’s just what being 19 is like sometimes. I think Rose is a very compelling character who just happens to frustrate me a bit. And that’s kinda the point, her co-dependent relationship with the Doctor is doomed to fail and it's meant to hurt. Ultimately, I think when I first watched the show I was too young to understand Rose, and now I’m just too old to relate to her.

Captain Jack: Jack is my favorite character. I fucking love this guy. Dude has the worst luck in the whole universe and still cannot be stopped. Legendary. Every episode with him is a goddamn delight because he has so much chemistry with every single cast member. No notes 10/10 i love my problematic bisexual king

10th doctor: About four episodes into David Tennant’s run I realized that he dresses like a Hazbin Hotel character and it made me very sad. Still, there’s a reason this guy inspired every middle schooler to buy a pair of converse in 2008. He has style, he has depth, he’s got the sauce. It’s genuinely terrifying to see his anger, I like that a lot of 10’s run is about his denial of godhood and power over life in the universe, something that the rest of the time lords desired. idk i like my sad pathetic little weasel but he's also a huge fucking asshole sometimes which sucks. especially when it's directed at Martha.

Martha: Martha I am so sorry for what this show put you through. Martha was my favorite companion when I first watched the show, and I still have a huge soft spot for her. Her ability to hold her own and navigate foreign worlds using her own intelligence absolutely rules, and her drive forward is unbreakable. But the show seems to put her down at every possible opportunity, most notably with how 10 treats her. Her struggles and wants are constantly ignored, and she's often treated as a rebound from Rose. And I like that she eventually chooses to end it by not traveling with 10 anymore, but it hurts because it feels like she was never given the same chance or care that Rose and Donna were. This era of Doctor Who really doesn’t treat its black companions well because Mickey goes through something similar - both Martha and Mickey are characters designed to be ignored or left behind, and it sucks.

Donna: Donna Noble is one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist. Despite seemingly living a fairly average life and working a fairly average job, Donna reflects the idea that no one is truly "average" and every single person is brimming with personality, life, and love. I love that her relationship with 10 is purely platonic, personally their friendship feels like it has a lot more depth than either of the romance-oriented relationships 10 had with Rose and Martha. 10 and Donna bounce off of each other so well and it's delightful, Donna brings so much humor and life to every world she's taken to and it's incredible. I wish her and Captain Jack could have interacted more.

My favorite episode: The Runaway Bride is hard to not choose as my favorite. I have a blast every time I watch this episode and it’s such a good introduction for Donna. Also the Tardis car chase kills me, I love when it cuts to the kids in the back of another car clapping and cheering. I was also surprised by the episode Midnight - it’s dreadful to watch and I kinda loved it. So much spirals out of control when shit hits the fan, even though no one has any idea what they’re trying to fight against. Really interesting exploration as to how fear can drive people apart.

My least favorite episode: It’s Love & Monsters. I wish I liked this episode - stories that follow regular ass people living in this world are often some of the best episodes in the series (Weeping Angels and all that). And this episode definitely has some of that. It’s honestly really touching to see this group of nerds get together and enjoy life in the first part of the episode. I think the antagonist of “guy who absorbs people” ends up dragging down any charm this story had because he just. eats all of the interesting characters. But despite me disliking this episode, I honestly have a deep respect for it - it’s fucking crazy. It ends with the main guy telling us about his sex life with his girlfriend who is now stuck in a piece of concrete. Where else are you going to get a story like this. It fucking sucks and that’s hilarious

oh also the production design: GODDDDDD I FUCKING LOVE THE PRODUCTION DESIGN AND SETS ON THIS SHOW. I love how dirty and rundown a lot of the spaceship sets look with wires and lights scattered everywhere. And a number of alien designs also go CRAZY with the prosthetics - I keep thinking about the Hath from The Doctor’s Daughter and how every head prosthetic had liquid inside it that could bubble. Absolutely crazy. I also love the moments where you can clearly see they did not have that much time and just had to throw something together or pain a bald cap green. Jank is the nature of sci-fi production design and I dearly love and miss that Doctor Who jank.

Rebuild of Evangelion

Last year after finishing the original Evangelion series + End of Evangelion, I remember going through the Evangelion tumblr tag and being very confused by the number of slice of life/found family-esque fanworks of the cast. It left me puzzled and thinking “...did we even watch the same thing??”

APPARENTLY NOT

[spoiler warning here because these movies are very good and i give the best parts away. if you want to watch these movies then DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!]

I honestly never expected a world where these characters got a happy ending. I so, so badly wish I could see 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 in theaters - these movies are stunning. I know I say things “go crazy” a lot, but man. They go fucking CRAZY.

While I have a few issues with how the first two movies adapted the original show, I do think the changes they made better serve the story this rebuild is trying to tell. For example, my favorite episode in the original Eva series is episode 18, where Toji is chosen to pilot Unit 03. It’s absolutely terrifying because Shinji doesn’t know who 03’s pilot is, yet he’s forced to be inside Unit 01 as it tears 03 apart. His resolve not to kill anyone despite not even knowing who’s in danger is an aspect of that episode I love and speaks to Shinji's inherent humanity, and when he learns Toji was in there it hurts even more. The rebuild movies change Unit 03’s pilot to Auska, and Shinji knows she’s in there from the start. I think this choice works for the movies and is still an effective emotional beat, but personally I still prefer the version where Shinji had no idea who was in there. That lack of knowledge is infinitely more terrifying to me.

I really like what these movies did with some of the angel designs though. The sixth angel (the fuckin. blue diamond cube thing) works really well in 3D/CG animation. The way the thing warps and moves is otherly and terrifying - and it’s just a fucking cube. I’ve always really loved how the Eva series approaches angel designs and the divine - despite the alien-like designs, there’s often something extremely familiar about them. They’re often reminiscent of an animal, a machine, or a human. This is also how they approached the anti-universe in these movies, I loved how it takes the form of various locations from the series and turns them into a movie set. It’s deeply familiar, but ultimately just an illusion of familiarity like the angels and the divine.

Also I gotta say. I fucking love Mari. I think she’s hilarious. She first meets Shinji by accidentally parachuting into him and then immediately starts crawling on all fours to sniff him. This girl also introduces “Beast Mode” where the Eva pilots can go wild turn their mechs into a fucking. superpowered beast of some sort. And also she defeats a whole army by using the Eiffel Tower as a spear. She’s such an absurd character and I honestly kinda love it. The only thing I knew about these movies before watching them was this gif of her Backing That Shit Up and she truly lives up to the insane nature of this shot.

My favorite section of these movies is definitely the first part of 3.0+1.0 where the pilots are basically just living a domestic life in a small town - it’s truly beautiful. The growth that Rei’s copy goes through here is fantastic, I love stories about seemingly emotionless beings learning how to live. And right after she dies, we get the shot that absolutely broke me the first time I saw it:

This shit. The way you can just barely tell he’s been crying from the red around his eyes. They don't talk about it, they barely linger on it, but it's allowed just enough time to punch you in the gut. I don’t know why this shot got me as hard as it did but goddamn. jesus christ. i want to throw up

There’s some goofy shit in these movies. The infinite synch rate. Misato’s stupidass hat and sunglasses. Some goofy ass 3D animation that doesn’t age super well. The rainbow that shows up every time an angel dies. But these things really didn’t take me out of the core of these films, and there’s so much genuine emotion and beauty in this series that had me absolutely hooked - especially in the last two films. They go crazy. My favorite line is 100% “The only thing a son can do for his father is pat him on the shoulder… or kill him.” and man. ain’t that what Evangelion is all about. i love these movies

High School Musical 3

kinda slaps just a little bit

High School Musical 3 starts with a finale number. The last high school basketball game of Troy Bolton’s life - and it goes kinda hard. The classic pep band brass that’s essential to so many High School Musical numbers returns, and the constant theme of two feuding cheer teams in the background? Genius. This is truly art. I love listening to Now or Never without visuals because in the middle Troy just starts coughing and gagging seemingly out of nowhere

Unfortunately, starting the movie at such a high point means that the rest of the runtime doesn’t quite match up to it. The story lags and meanders quite a bit, but part of me kinda appreciates that - it’s their last semester of high school, which is always a time of confusion and turmoil. However, I do have a pitch for how they could have countered the constant falling action this movie seems to go through:

The Wildcats should have lost their last game at the beginning of the movie.

What if the game is instead the inciting incident that leads Troy and his besties through their tumultuous last semester? Troy is still torn between basketball and theater, but his identity would be even further challenged here - is winning and success all that matters for him, or is it the love of sport and performance that keeps him going? idk whatever this movie came out 16 years ago i can’t be out here writing AUs for it jgnfsgfnjdksg

Some miscellaneous thoughts about this movie that i don’t care about formatting into larger paragraphs:

Ryan and Sharpay’s number (I Want It All) slaps as usual. The part where Ryan shouts “MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!!!!!” makes me so happy every time i hear it

The production design and sets go absolutely fucking crazy. I still have no idea how they pulled off the spinning hallway in Scream.

One of the classic staples of HSM is Chad’s shirts. Most of them are fairly silly and like something you would expect to find in the walmart clearance section. However, there’s one shirt he has in this movie that confused the hell out of me. It’s this one:

What the FUCK does Greenster mean. Is it just a combination of Green and Monster?? Why??? What green monster are we talking about here????? Where the fuck did this shirt come from?????????

Avatar The Last Airbender (2024)

There’s really only one word I can think of to describe what this show is like: sauceless. No flavor. No depth. No character. No sauce. This show is honestly so fucking boring and seems to fundamentally misunderstand what the appeal of the original Avatar series is - not necessarily because things are changed or removed from the original, but because nothing of substance is added in return. 

Most of the characters are mere echoes of their original counterparts when compared to their source material. Sokka is reduced to a guy who wants to fight good, Katara’s stubborn and confrontational nature is very rarely utilized, and Aang’s mischievous antics and love of fun is sorely missing. One of the major reasons for the dull interpretations seems to be the directing - While I have faith that most of these actors are trying their best (especially since a number of them are kids/young adults), the direction seems to be incredibly lackluster and takes away nearly every cast member’s stage presence or personality. There’s a number of reaction shots of the main trio that just look like this: 😐😐😐 as if they were just told to “look concerned” at the events unfolding before them. And these issues are apparent in the majority of the performances - for example, General Zhao talks like he’s in a board meeting up until the last episode, and it’s an incredibly flat performance. He talks somewhat monotone in the original series as well, but this live-action take on the character often meanders with his dialogue and lacks that sharp, terrifying quality that I think this character needs. Uncle Iroh also feels incredibly stiff in this adaptation, and it’s a goddamn crime that they took away the cunty little outfit and chains he was originally wearing when he gets captured by earthbenders. wait who said that

Credit where credit is due, there’s a few cast members that seem to be giving their best. It’s clear that Aang’s actor enjoys the role and does pretty well despite the lackluster direction and dialogue he’s given. On top of that, I think Zuko’s actor is honestly the best part of the show. His take on Zuko leans much more into teenage tendencies and sarcasm, which, although it can be silly, is a welcome take of the character in my opinion and pretty fun to watch. There’s this one line he has at the beginning of episode 2 where, in an incredibly whiny tone of voice, he goes “He RAN! The ultimate warrior! He’s a Coward :((((“ and the read is so. fucking funny

The case of bad direction isn’t limited to the performances, however. It’s also stunningly apparent in how everything is shot. Despite being in a widescreen format, most shots are incredibly centered - you could crop the entire runtime into a 4:3 frame and you wouldn’t be cutting out much of anything. I’ve seen some speculation that this was an intentional choice to make things more adaptable or readable for TikTok/phone video, but honestly I think that’s a dumb take. I think the issue stems from a lack of creativity and thoughtless composition. Keeping everything staged in the center can make shots feel disjointed, lacking much depth, or completely empty. It’s a boring way to shoot and indicates that the show lacks any unique vision at all.

Overall, this show doesn't really seem to understand what makes Avatar interesting in the first place. It's more interested in spectacle and action than the characters' relationships, emotions, and mistakes. I try not to compare it too much to the original since it's allowed to take liberties with its adaptation, but very few of its changes add much to the end result or give it a unique voice. It's just sauceless and boring.

Some YouTube videos i liked in February:

💥 My House.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod (some supplemental House of Leaves material for ya) 💥 Martha Jones Deserved Better (this video explains how Doctor Who did Martha dirty better than i ever could) 💥 bringing JUSTICE to the worst garfield game 💥 Selling Kids for Clout: The Downfall of Family Channels

And that’s my roundup for February! Thank you for reading, I promise there are no more reviews left to scroll through below this goodbye. Nope, nothing else I watched this month. Bye!

…ok is everyone gone. phew, i’m glad no one noticed i pulled an hbomberguy and hid the largest part of this post under a false ending. Anyway holy shit i need to talk about hazbin hotel

Hazbin Hotel

well i didn’t like it

Hazbin Hotel is a weird, fascinating mess of a show. Every episode left me wondering what creative decisions (or lack thereof) led to the sequence of images I just watched. There’s been a lot of discussion of this show recently and I’m not interested in covering every critique I have, but there’s a few things that I'd like to talk about somewhat in-depth.

Hell is real and it's just Red Chicago

The setting of Hell is kinda boring in this show.

Let me try to put this into perspective. Aside from the hotel, here’s a list of the locations we see in Hell:

A boardroom

A video store

Vox’s evil lair (it has cyber sharks which is kinda cool)

Various streets

Another boardroom

A BDSM club

Carmilla’s house (it’s gray and has. balconies?)

A porn studio

A bar

Another bar

A town square (full of cannibals)

None of these locations really take on any sort of otherworldly form besides some vague demonic imagery scattered throughout (and the cannibals. i guess. whatever). In short, Hazbin Hotel’s setting resembles Chicago more than it does Hell.

I can see a world where that’s intentional. Perhaps making Hell resemble a modern city could be used as a thematic tool or point of relatability? But Hazbin doesn’t really do anything like that - since the characters rarely ever interact with their environments, these locations end up seeming like they lack creativity, like they’re just cardboard sets where characters go to swear. They all start to blend together after a while - every street feels the same, every boardroom fades into the background, and every bar feels like a google image search result for the word “club.” This world feels stunningly empty despite the busy designs and colors. Even though the backgrounds are painted and designed fairly well, nothing of substance is ever really added to them through the story.

However, a few musical numbers take effort to break away from these settings. This felt like a weight off of my shoulders whenever it happened, it was nice to see some interesting setpieces and backgrounds that weren’t red. I liked the bombastic and over-the-top broadway lights in Loser and the glowing alternate world in Charlie and Lucifer’s song. But these moments are few and crowded by the dull locations in Hell - or worse, the Hotel itself.

Despite being the namesake of the show, the actual Hazbin Hotel is… lifeless. Which, yeah, it’s a hotel where dead people go in the afterlife, but it’s missing any sort of personality or history besides “it’s old and falling apart.” I expected the hotel to be full of secrets - like maybe some hidden passages or rooms, or mysterious cabinets full of rotted meats, or old valuables hidden under the rugs by the previous owners. Something for the cast to explore and discover, and as they get closer to each other they also start to understand the hotel more. Alastor seems very intent on keeping the physical hotel standing for some reason, but I never really understood why. There’s nothing there. And that nothingness is fully realized when at the end of the show, they just rebuild the entire hotel to be grand and beautiful - an emotional beat that didn’t hit me at all because I never felt like I knew the hotel in the first place. Despite rebuilding it from the ground up, it will feel just as empty.

3 SHOTS THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY

I was truly baffled at how some of these scenes are timed and put together. Multiple sequences left me feeling nauseous and dazed - the camera moves like it’s being swung on the end of a rope, and there’s so many misplaced or meaningless cuts scattered through these episodes.

There’s a sequence of three shots in the first episode that I want to dissect. I will fully admit that I'm breaching nitpicking territory here, but the shot composition issues in this show are pretty rampant and my analysis here is just a hyper-specific look at a single part of that larger problem. Hopefully you can also use it as a quick storyboarding lesson too idk

First, we see Adam teasing Charlie.

Then, it cuts straight to this shot:

A few things here. 

Shot 2 is just closer on the characters, which is not a great idea to cut to after the previous waist-up shot. On top of being a jarring jump cut, there is no purpose for this new shot. All the information we see here (Adam laughs, Charlie fake laughs) could have just been conveyed in the previous shot.

Despite the characters being in the same position as the last shot, the background changes. This straight up just feels like an error. I think the idea is supposed to be that the camera is at a different angle, but the position of the characters does not convey that. It looks like reality changes behind them.

And if that’s not enough, this is the shot we get immediately after those two:

In this shot, the residents of the hotel sit on the couch as Vaggie walks into the shot, framing them between her legs. But there’s something… off.

Vaggie either looks like she’s floating or she’s three stories tall. Quick storyboard lesson as to why:

The main problem with this shot is that the perspective of the background doesn’t match up with where Vaggie is placed. The couch is framed as if the camera were above it, but Vaggie is framed like the camera is floor-level below her. I’ve traced the shot and added a perspective grid to hopefully better illustrate this:

Do you see what I mean? If the camera WAS actually on the floor like Vaggie’s position in the shot suggests, the composition would look more like this:

Notice how much closer the floor grid is to the bottom of the frame and how you can see the underside of the couch.

And to be fair, this is probably what the original storyboard for this shot looked like! Personally I think something went wrong in the compositing stage - this might be a couch background from another shot that was reused here to save time, or whoever approved this shot just let the error slide since the shot is so short (i've been there. sometimes you let the jank slide). Most animated shows will have some poorly framed shots and continuity errors because mistakes are bound to happen, but two egregious ones right next to each other like this is. pretty bad. It's so noticeable from a directing perspective.

Here’s the thing: these three shots happen in the span of like 10 seconds. Most viewers probably wouldn’t notice these issues, and that's fine. But even though these errors are quick, they stack upon each other so fast that even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, something still feels wrong. There’s so many other moments where the show breaks extremely basic shot composition, continuity, and staging rules - for example, the second musical number of the show breaks the 180 rule like four times for no good reason. The whole show feels like a dizzy, nauseating mess because the shots rarely feel like they form anything cohesive.

MY ROOMMATE TOLD ME TO GO TO BED SO HERE ARE SOME FINAL THOUGHTS

Here’s a rundown on some other thoughts that I don’t care to format into larger sections:

The show seems to lack much to say about sin and redemption other than “redemption good.” like sure, but what are they being redeemed from? Is heaven truly the place they deserve to go after being redeemed, even though it’s shown to be unjust? Are there sins that are too great to be redeemed from, or others that shouldn't be considered sins at all? I asked myself a number of questions like this, but never got many answers from Hazbin.

This show has a bad relationship with kink and sex. Both are mostly used as a punchline or a form of control. I didn’t like it. Perhaps the reason Hazbin never really comments on the nature of sin is because it needs you to consider sex and kink sinful or otherly for these jokes to hit.

Some of the animation is crazy good. I will praise any animator that even attempts to make these character designs move. A number of extremely talented people worked on this show, a few of the musical sequences in particular have some incredible movement.

Alastor is a very boring character. It’s wild that most of the side characters in this show only exist to talk about how much they like or hate Alastor, he mostly just stands to the side of some shots or kills random nameless goons. I expected him to have a much larger role in the story, but he just gets his ass kicked in the final episode and then crawls back to the hotel.

Episode 4 is the most cohesive, and i think Angel is the best character in the show. Unfortunately, the fact that Hazbin takes so much effort to show Angel’s misery left me… concerned? None of the other characters get treated as poorly as Angel by the narrative. There’s a few smaller explorations of trauma, but nothing remotely compares to what Angel is put through on-screen. This isn’t to say that I think the whole cast needs to be extremely traumatized and constantly miserable, but rather that I find it concerning that the only character subjected to incredibly graphic abuse and torture (that we see or hear about) is the gay sex worker. Which sucks, because I think the concept of hypersexuality resulted from sexual abuse is an important topic worthy of discussing in adult media. I just think they tried to execute this theme without much critical thought beforehand.

I think the voice cast does a fantastic job for the most part. Keith David is way too good for Husk.

I really liked the one shot where Charlie opens her phone and we see that she has a contact for every individual egg minion.

I was very brave and got through this whole review without talking about my new least favorite character of all time, Vox. here’s what I think of him:

The overall vision and end result of Hazbin Hotel is just mediocre. While I don’t know what led to the messy state this show ended up in, my guess is that it was probably the result of inadequate direction, sloppy writing, and lacking creative support from the studios involved. Because of this, please understand that I have no desire or intention to put down any individual artists that worked on this show - I hope it's clear that most of my criticisms are directed at the larger vision these artists were given to execute and/or the lack of creative support they received while working on this show.

I also don’t really have much desire to participate in any further Hazbin discussion or discourse because it has wasted enough of my time already and I want to be free of this curse. please spare my inbox from hazbin hotel discourse. please. i'm begging.

You want to know what the most fucked up thing about this is though? Despite everything I said about Hazbin, Avatar the Last Airbender 2024 is still the worst show I watched this month. I would take Hazbin over Avatar 2024 literally any day.

well if you got this far. thanks for reading. also sorry you read all that. whelp alright back into my hole i go bye bye

[devilart2199-aibi]

IDW collection reading update! :^) 📖

Just finished Phase 2 volume 3! This volume included: The MTMTE 2012 Annual + issues 9-13, The RID 2012 Annual + issues 10-11, Signal to Noise and Spotlights: Thundercracker, Bumblebee and Megatron!

My thoughts will be below! ⤵️

MTMTE 2012 Annual:

Started off super wacky with Magnus 😂 Then got really interesting with Crystal City disappearing, The Metrotitan being underneath and the Galactic Council making their appearance! I liked how they tried to recruit Magnus and he said nah and smiled :)

RID 2012 Annual:

Absolutely LOVED the vintage/retro comic pages they did for the story/flashbacks of Nova's group!! Why so evil, but so cool looking?? I'm curious to see what all that with the Metrotitan and Starscream meant! 🤔

MTMTE 9-11:

Absolute banger. Probably one of my favorite stories so far!! I'm sorry but a murder mystery?? on Cybertron? in the past?? with stellar art!?! Sign me up any day.

Also it was great to finally learn more about Senator Shockwave and the rest of the Characters! Like Drift, Chromedome and Whirly! The back and forth with all the banter and the layers of fronts and corruption ahhh *chefs kisses*

Also I thought this ⬆️ was so cute bc it's a fact right out of Prowls characters bio/info sheet/page.

MTMTE 12:

This is the Surprise! Give you a mini heart attack issue lol Bc of my own silliness I was stressed the whole time reading it 😂 but it was really good!! We got to learn a bunch about Rewind. And that him and Chromedome are Conjunx' !! 🥺💞

MTMTE 13:

This was a super fun issue! I'm absolutely loving all this Magnus character time!!

The Holomatter Avatars were pretty funny 😂 Whirl was too adorable and I thought it was really sweet that Magnus chose to look like Verity 🥺 Uncle Magnus misses his kid.

I felt bad for Swerve ;_; also I'm excited to see more from Cyclonus and Tailgate!! This ship is full of liars lol 😂

RID 10-11:

10 was an issue where Orion (previously Optimus) is currently hunting down Jihaxus to get answers for stuff and things. There is quite a bit of time jumping back and forth which always gets me confused 😂 it was interesting tho!

Issues 11 Starscream takes action against his Deceptibros (Just Shockwave, Soundwave and their posse really) and I really look forward to his team up with Prowl, if it goes anywhere from here! Also Arcee killing more people rip Ravage, Frenzy and those other guys 🫡 and a wild Megatron makes a reappearance?!?!

Signal to Noise:

It was a little Lost Light interlude! It was from Rung's perspective. I feel like I haven't seen much from him specifically so it was pretty cool and interesting :> Like everything, I'm curious to see where it goes!

Spotlights:

Thundercrackers was enjoyable! It just reinforced that he was good leaning, or at least not one for senseless violence. I really like him and hope he makes a reappearance! I'm curious what he's up to on earth

Bumblebee's was fine. Him struggling to be the leader and feeling like he has to prove himself, but getting the job done!

Megatron's was a banger. I absolutely love his monologs. What he thinks of his Decepticons and the 'Pep talk' he gave Starscream to get him back to his usual self.

----

Final random thoughts:

Of all the storylines, MTMTE is still my favorite to read rn. I must admit, Rodimus tho is stressing me out as the leader 😂 I was gonna say my fav characters rn but, there are just too many haha

I've already hopped into volume 4 so I'll be seeing you soon with more ramblings! 👋

[witchywriter18]

Random Sebastian Sallow dating headcannons

Unlike my previous ones, this can apply to any house honestly. F!MC as well.

Must be touching you. He's either holding your hand, has an arm around your waist or shoulder, just anything that invades your personal space. If you're not big on physical affection, he will back off and respect your space. Otherwise, prepare to become joined at the hip with your boyfriend.

I imagine Sebastian's kisses vary on his mood. He's feeling calm, you get sweet gentle kisses. He's feeling a little jealous, very hot searing kisses. Feeling romantic, long passionate kisses.

If you're silently reading together, he'll occasionally just take your hand and give a kiss to the back of it, his eyes not leaving the page he's on. You're also snuggled up to him.

If Sebastian absolutely had to pick one thing that he loved about you, it would be your laugh. You could have the most donkey sounding laugh and he'd still love it. It's what makes you unique.

So if you're sad, he's gonna do anything to hear you laugh again. Doesn't matter if he utterly embarrasses himself in the process, just as long as he gets to hear your wonderful laugh.

Alright, imagine you guys are in potions. For some reason, you're making Amortentia.

To you, it smells like old books, smoke, and freshly turned Earth. Here's my reasoning. The old books because Sebastian always has his nose in a book and spends a good amount of time in the library. Smoke because of his frequent use of Confringo. And the earthy smell because Feldcroft is a farming hamlet so I imagine Sebastian has to work in the fields during the break.

For Sebastian, the potion smells like fresh rain, pine trees, and your favorite sweets from Honeydukes. Rain because it seems like when it does rain, you're always drawn to the window to watch it fall, or drag him outside to dance in it. Pine trees because you're always going into the Forbidden Forest like the adventurous little thing you are. And finally the candy because he actually took you to Honeydukes during your first week at Hogwarts, after the troll attack. He said that you needed a proper day at Hogsmead without a troll.

Dates include trips to Hogsmead, reading in the library, or just walking around the countryside. He actually prefers taking walks in the countryside because he likes being away from everyone else and just having you to himself for a little while. It feels more intimate and romantic to him.

On a scale of 1-10, I'd say Sebastian is a solid 5 or 6 maybe on the jealousy scale? He trusts you completely, just not anyone trying to make a move on you. He'll keep his composure at the start but if the person isn't taking no for an answer and keeps pushing, you'd have to hold him back from casting Confringo on the person.

You both started dating before the relic incident and after killing his uncle, Sebastian distanced himself a little bit, thinking you'd never want to see him again.

When you had had enough of this, you tracked him down, dragged him into the Undercroft, and had a good long talk about the situation.

When you said you still loved him despite the things he's done, poor thing completely broke down. Leading you to wrap him up in a hug, peppering his face with small kisses.

After Anne left to who knows where, you and Sebastian spend the breaks together.

I'm actually not quite sure if MC has family. I've seen some fics have her being from an orphanage and some where she does have family.

So if MC has family, Sebby is coming home with you for school holidays. Parents will absolutely love him.

If MC doesn't have family, you're staying with Sebastian in Feldcroft.

Just make sure our boy isn't left alone in Feldcroft feeling horrible about himself every single second.

Alright, that's enough angst, back to fluff!

During winter break, you're both making a snowman as soon as there's enough snow on the ground.

At least that's how it starts out.

When he's preparing one of the snowballs for the body, he feels a cold and wet substance hit him in the back of the head.

He turns and sees you with a not so innocent smirk on your face.

So chaos ensues with you pelting each other with snowballs.

After a while, you both go inside in a fit of giggles and warm up by the fire with some tea.

If Quiddich came back after year five and Sebastian was on the team, I'm definitely going by popular belief that our boy is a beater.

You bet you're decked out in Slytherin garb as you cheer him on, even if you aren't Slytherin.

He 100% is having you wear his jersey during a victory party or something. Basically another way of flaunting that you're his girl, no one else's.

Alright, I could go on about a relationship with this man but I better stop here.

[dailycass-cain]

I'm just as surprised as you are to find out Cass had an appearance in DC's How to Lose a Guy Gardner in 10 Days #1, and not in the way I was expecting.

Was it good or a pass?

Well...

Cass appears in "Date Night" in the anthology story which is more a Dick/Babs story about well the two of them going out on a date. Cass and Steph are basically on a mission checking out something Babs had an inkling things would be bad.

Things do end up being bad.

Alright, I'll just jump in about said bad.

Yeah, this is a supporting role for Cass (along with Steph) in the story. I don't really mind that. Dick/Babs are the leads in this and I'm okay with that.

What I'm not okay with is how the story treats the two Batgirls as amateurs.

Okay, I get the "Scarecrow got the drop on them" opening because neither knew Crane was behind this until fear gas canisters were being loaded.

So that I don't mind. Mainly it's the sections of panels like above saying, "Make sure you do things like Dick is doing."

I didn't like it when Batgirls pulled this off in #5 when Babs showed up and it wore out its welcome in #7-8 (and the Catwoman #45 tie-in).

I get Cass/Steph are younger compared to Dick/Babs but they aren't "rookies". The year is 2024 not 2002.

Just cut down the dialogue to the first sentence. Bam, gripe solved. It's simple word fixing that gets fans of said characters off-backs because it at least treats the characters as being experienced rather than not.

We do get one whole page of Cass/Steph busting the criminals introduced earlier looking to take advantage of Scarecrow's schemes (aka the B-protags taking out the B-antags).

In all honesty, I think the reverse should've occurred. Dick/Babs taking out the B-antags (as they were introduced via being a few tables from them) and well Scarecrow gets his comeuppance from Steph-- AGAIN (or them/Dick being him with Bruce/Helena/Kate in "Shadow of the Bat".

I'm done being nitpicky so I'm gonna talk about the positives aka that whole page and how artist Leonardo Rodrigues draws a nice old-school Cass. No white eyes and we even get the bat fins on her gloves.

NICE.

I think the one detail I loved most was the yellow stitching which does make Cass's mask more striking.

The one page is also a nice little touch showcasing Cass/Steph getting SOME measure of respect by owning the B-antags.

In the end, this is a harmless "fluff" tale that's not gonna be much looked at like Cass's entry from Beast World Tour: Gotham a few months back. Both are kind of forgettable save the latter's being the first mention of her old origin (Steph's story really stole that one-shot).

I'd be more frustrated if this was Cass's only showing this week (it isn't) and really it's because of THE OTHER comic that makes me less cross.

Stephanie fans?

Oh, they deserve to criticize MORE on this.

As for it being a Dick/Babs story?

It's alright.

Nothing memorable as to "why" they work as a couple. They were both paranoid enough to know their date night was gonna get ruined. But at least they're both Bat enough to have "plans within plans."

So yeah, this story is just "there". Doesn't give us adequate Cass/Steph (because it isn't their story), and Dick/Babs stuff is "middle of the road".

Given where both characters are at the moment, yeah "middle of the road" will do.

[ambskas]

invisible string chapter 2 snippet- leah williamson

there’s now 5 chapters of my leah williamson book on wattpad if you want to carry on reading!

my wattpad is linked on my page x

The more time I spent in the apartment, the more stress and tension I felt. Something I did not need today. So I grabbed the smoothies I made for Leah and I and decided to wait in reception.

A couple of minutes later I saw Leah's car pull up, instantly feeling at ease. She popped open the boot for me and got out to help me put my bags in.

"Didn't realise you were moving in until the end of the tournament, El." Leah laughed, seeing all the unnecessary stuff I'd packed.

"Don't laugh. You know I can't pack to save my life." I groaned as I got in the passenger seat, smoothies still in hand.

"What's my passenger princess bought me this trip?" She asked as she sat in the driver's seat.

"A green smoothie." I smiled and her face fell. "It's good for you, so don't even start."

"I don't like green things." she complained, but still took it out of my hand.

"Well tough. You don't want my hard work to go to waste do you." I pouted at her. "I could've had a whole 2 minutes extra sleep if I didn't make you that."

Sarcastically, Leah replied "My hero." and held her chest where her England badge lay.

We spent the 3 hour long car journey singing, awfully may I add, and talking about some of the other girls as well as tactics for games and what we'd be doing in training. Until we were interrupted, less than 10 minutes from our destination.

"Hold on, it's my mum." I answered the phone and the call connected through bluetooth.

"Hi mommy." I smiled.

"Hello, sunshine. How you feeling? You nervous? Excited?" She asked me, well at least she remembered.

"No, I'm okay actually, got my girls with me haven't I." I nudged Leah.

"Hi Steph." Leah called down the phone.

"Is that my Leah?" She gushed down the phone. "How are you, sweet girl?"

"I'm all good, thank you. How's the love life?" Leah asked my mum, smirking.

"Ugh, don't get me started..." My mum trailed off.

I kind of tuned out the rest of the conversation, not wanting to know the ins and outs of my mothers hook ups. She never had serious relationships, I think her last adult relationship was with my dad and I've never even met him so we all know how that worked out.

We stayed on the phone with my mum until the sat nav said we were 2 minutes away.

"I'm gonna ring you later, mum. We're just pulling up to the training ground." I told her.

"Alright, princess. Have the best time both of you." She said, "Oh, Leah I'm gonna text your mum and organise something for when I next come down."

"Sounds good." Leah replied.

"Love you, bye!" I shouted down the phone.

As the call ended, I felt Leah's eyes on me.

"What?"

"Nothing." Her eyes turned back towards the road. "Just your mum definitely prefers me to you." She smirked.

I just laughed, knowing it was probably true.