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therealvagabird · 4 years ago

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Dead Space as a Master-Class: Sci-Fi Horror and Cosmic Horror

An essay I wrote for some reason, after having had a sudden burst of recollection earlier this year that I couldn’t stop thinking about.

Read below or HERE on my blog.

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From 2008 to 2013, the Dead Space game (and multimedia) sci-fi horror series was one of the leading titles in the next-gen era. Competing with more veteran IPs such as Resident Evil at its peak, the imagery of Dead Space became synonymous with gaming and horror pop-culture of the time. Though not free from criticism, especially towards the end of its run when radical shifts in the industry economy spoiled the reception of its third game, Dead Space was a major phenomenon in its time and retains a strong nostalgic following.

Dead Space followed the personal hell of one Isaac Clarke, a spaceship engineer in the distant future. In a far-flung time when massive resource scarcity has devolved humanity into a society of corporate-fascistic planet-looters, Clarke and a team of peers are called to the mining ship USG Ishimura to investigate a distress signal activated while the “planet cracker” vessel was stripping an innocuous planet. What follows is the start of the original Dead Space title, a massive bloodbath. Discovery of a strange alien monolith known as “The Marker” (later the “Red Marker”) has unleashed some manner of alien parasitic infection known as “Necromorphs” on the ship, having been lying dormant since it devoured the original colonists of the world centuries ago. The parasite operates by killing and then reanimating human corpses, and is able to enhance its deadliness through recombinant properties, making monsters out of multiple bodies, as well as spreading a fleshy moss known as “the Corruption” around its environment as a form of hostile terraforming. As if these obstacles were not enough for Isaac Clarke, the Marker also appears to induce vivid hallucinations and violent insanity, having driven most of the Ishimura’s crew to suicide or homicide even before the parasitic outbreak, and continuing to wreak havoc on any human minds.

Dead Space 2 and 3 continue the plotline after Isaac Clarke is left as the sole survivor of the initial plot. It is elaborated on that the Earth Government wants the alien Marker despite the great danger it poses due to the artifact providing a source of limitless energy. However, despite its promise, the construction of a second Marker using memories burned into Clarke’s brain results in another, even more vicious Necromorph outbreak on a residential space-station in the Solar System. Attempts to stop the pandemic are exacerbated by both the greedy Earth Gov and the “Unitologists” – a massive sect of religious extremists who view the Markers as divine and, likewise, tend to aid in the undue spread of Necromorph infections. By the time of Dead Space 3, the conflict between Earth Gov and the Unitologists has exploded into all-out war, with Markers exerting their influence over most of earth. Isaac, with company, travels to the world of Tau Volantis following the promise of a way to stop the alien menace. It is revealed by the end of the final chapter that the history of the Markers is far deeper and darker than previously guessed, with the influence of the monoliths having led to both the rise and fall of numerous civilizations throughout galactic history as a way of both creating and feeding the Necromorphs’ final stage – the “Brethren Moons”. Though Isaac succeeds in destroying a half-formed Brethren Moon as the penultimate boss of the third game, the rest of the dormant Moons are awakened by the start of the final DLC expansion, with the implied ending of the series being the Moons consumption of all life on Earth and within human-controlled space, leaving the galaxy to once again be “Dead Space”.

With the outline of the Dead Space trilogy established, I will look at the ways in which – despite its reputation as being a semi-popular cultural phenomenon in its heyday – the Dead Space series is actually one of the best demonstrations of Cosmic Horror in gaming, and even in modern applications of the genre. Dead Space also displays a keen knowledge of its predecessors and draws on them for inspiration without undue copycat symptoms. Cosmic Horror has long been an elusive concept for modern artists, as the memory of H.P. Lovecraft and bastardizations through the action-RPG genre have rendered most executions of the genre as little more than “alien monsters induce insanity through their mere presence”. Though at a surface level Dead Space may seem to fall prey to these tropes, the overall result of the games’ lore and plot shows a much deeper and more genuine application of Cosmic Horror concepts than most.

The Two Enemies

Dead Space’s storyline revolves around two core enemies or obstacles, with the both of them being intertwined. Though government and Unitologists forces certainly have their spotlights over the course of the game’s storyline, the true flesh and blood of Dead Space’s appeal are the Necromorphs. Wherever the Necromorphs are, there is also the second enemy – insanity. Both of these are the result of the alien Markers, and they form a symbiotic relationship meant to make quick work of their human foodstuffs.

In the games’ lore, the Marker monoliths do more than just lure civilizations in with their abundant energy output. At a certain point, these artifacts will begin putting out an enigmatic signal which induces madness and violent outbursts. The concept is that this will provide a nice working base of corpses and disorganized resistance for the Marker to then began causing the creation of the Necromorph monsters. As the parasitic beasts further cause carnage, the Marker’s job of inducing insanity is made all the easier by the rampant PTSD most human survivors will be struggling with. From a practical standpoint, these two villains embody the two aspects of the series’ actual gameplay. The Necromorphs are the physical obstacles – the monsters and baddies to be dismembered, fled from, and the like. The insanity is the atmosphere – the illusory shadows moving at the ends of hallways, the hallucinations which drive Isaac Clarke and the overall plot along, and the displays of inhumane gore as survivors turn on you, themselves, and each other. Both of these enemies also show Dead Space’s understanding of its roots, and what drives audiences’ interest in the sci-fi horror genre over the decades.

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The Necromorphs take cues from many other examples of the “murderous alien parasite” throughout genre history. As recently as 2001, gaming audiences had been exposed to the infectious and disgusting Flood in the Halo series – the original trilogy of which concluded one year before Dead Space debuted. Resident Evil had expanded on the zombie archetype with mutant abominations going back to 1996. Of course, the most prominent influences on Dead Space’s design predate the video game boom. John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982) and the Alien franchise (1979-1986 primarily) are perhaps the most noticeable contributors.

From Carpenter’s adaptation of The Thing we are given the visuals of gory, mutagenic, violent, and infectious alien monstrosities who live only to consume and convert all other lifeforms to their cause. Forgoing the Thing’s major aspect of being a shape-shifter, the Necromorphs instead favor a wide variety of monstrous forms which each function as a unique enemy type, while their “infectivity” is limited to the slow spread of their alien hive as they kill and convert human corpses into food. It is the Thing’s imagery (and sound design) which is its biggest contribution, with the blood-and-guts aesthetic providing the visceral backbone to Dead Space’s immediate horror.

From Alien is derived the setting, with the environment of a futuristic and brutalist human environment offering little comfort to the player when not being faced with mutant monsters. In the original Dead Space, cramped corridors, dim industrial lighting, hostile machinery, and vents which allow the Necromophs to stalk and flank the player all call back to the settings of the Nostromo and LV-426’s mining colony in Alien and Aliens. The Necromorphs also, despite their more zombie-esque and gory visuals, function on a closer level to the Xenomorphs’ “hive building” behavior, at least until they reach their later stages. Of course, the name “Necromorph” is itself a play on the blending of the “Xenomorph” aliens with human-derived zombies.

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As stated, the second “enemy” of the Dead Space series, and the biggest contributor to its horror atmosphere, is the insanity induced both by the Marker and by the trauma of being exposed to the violent Necromorphs. The insanity which Isaac Clarke is afflicted by its one of the main drivers for the trilogy’s plot, and the source of the first game’s (rather uninspired) twist. It also functions in the game’s backstory, as a precursor to Necromorph outbreaks meant to supply corpses. From an artistic standpoint, the insanity is itself a reference to the common tropes of Cosmic Horror dating back to H.P. Lovecraft – its most renowned contributor. It also provides a more human level to the horror that permeates each of the games. While it’s one thing to see alien monsters mutilating people, it’s another dimension to see humans doing equally terrible things to themselves or each other. It shows the emotional destruction of the Marker’s victims alongside their eventual physical destruction. It also – as pointed out previously – provides another layer to the games’ atmospheric design, with the largest effect on new players. The visual and auditory hallucinations Isaac experiences keep players on their toes, as they can never be sure they aren’t about to face off against another monster, or are simply jumping at shadows.

Yet there is a final dimension to the insanity of the Markers which culminates in the revelations of the third installment. It is hinted at by the Markers’ nature as alien artifacts, and the appearance of strange occult symbols, religious terminology, and repeated phrases going back to the first game. The Markers, and their entire purpose, are shown to be the products of massive, ravenous, and highly intelligent alien beings known as Brethren Moons – the end stage of Necromorph evolution and something of “gods” to the entire galaxy. Is both shown and implied, in different measure, that every aspect of the Markers are simply emanations of these Moons. The energy they release which can uplift the minds of various species to sapience, and in turn provide them with power to support their resource-strapped civilizations, are just brainwave signals broadcast from the minds of the monstrous Moons. The violence and insanity inspired in humanity is the simple result of human brains being subject to the thoughts of incomprehensibly vast and hungry alien beings. And moreover, while much of this madness could be viewed as human brains being overwhelmed by excessive traumatic input, there is also the revelation – very in-line with the most fundamental ideas of Cosmic Horror – that these Brethren Moons are unstoppable, inescapable, and responsible for the premeditated creation and destruction of all human civilization. To have a mental breakdown in the face of such a nihilistic state of galactic affairs is quite rational, and the precept upon which Lovecraft built the basis of his Cosmic Horror writings.

The Settings

Dead Space – Vents and Hallways

As with all good horror, and sci-fi horror as a rule, the setting of the Dead Space games is as important as any of the actual events which happen therein. While the basic gameplay remained the same throughout all three titles, with minor deviations in overall tone and combat approach, the settings differed drastically. Yet these changes did not compromise the core concepts of the series. Claustrophobia, hostile scenery, minimal visibility due to frequent obstacles, and other staples were retained. Yet over the trilogy, each new setting could actually be interpreted as an homage to one of Dead Space’s predecessors. Though the writing and delivery of the games was not the most refined of all examples in the genre, the creators had a clear concept and appreciation for what traditions they were building off of, and this is reflected in the physical space.

For Dead Space, the original, the USG Ishimura is the Nostromo, from 1979’s Alien. It is an industrial vessel sent to a far-flung location where its doom is sealed. Yet whereas the Nostromo was host to a small crew who were picked off by a solitary predator, the Ishimura is host to a compliment of full-time astronauts and workers, who are likewise consumed by a massive, spreading alien parasite. For major set-pieces, influences from later sci-fi properties such as Resident Evil, Halo, or System Shock can be seen. The major bosses take the form of huge conglomerations of corpses sitting at the centers of Necromorph “hives”, having terraformed whole sections of the environment. Yet for most of the game’s progression, Isaac Clarke finds himself in the bloodstained remains of human architecture. Tight corridors, vents which allow the Necromorphs to evade direct confrontation much like the Xenomorph in Alien, and hostile architecture. The latter is a major feature in the first and third games, though doesn’t fail to feature in the entire series. Visual cues ranging from outright hazardous industrial obstacles to propaganda signs and clone-vat medical bays portray a future which is not much brighter even without alien attack. It sets up a galaxy, quite like that of Alien or other dark science fiction stories, that is not at all suited to human life, both through humanity’s cruelty to each other, and the cosmos’ cruelty to humanity. The early introduction of the concept of “Dead Space” within the setting (separate from the pun of the main title) also hints at a gloomy reality: mankind has encountered no alien life before the Necromorphs. In their rapid expansion in search of resources, not once has humanity found any extraterrestrial beings in the vast, cold void of space.

Dead Space 2 – Cyberpunk Dystopia and Urban Carnage

Dead Space 2 would both intensify and relax the themes hinted at in the first game. The sequel takes place on Titan Station, or “The Sprawl” – a massive civilian space station built from the shattered remains of Saturn’s moon Titan. Set dressing in Dead Space 2 seeks to explore the actual universe built up in the first game, contrasting the life of an average person shattered by the alien attack with the existing brutality of the Sprawl. Players are greeted both with scenes of horror in the aftermath of an entire human population, families, friends, and the like all butchered in common by the Necromorphs, as well as the residual propaganda of a government who seemed to care little for its populace even during the station’s non-brutalized days. Next to the more isolated setting of Dead Space, and its own homages to properties like Alien, Dead Space 2 takes the route of previous sequels such as Aliens or Predator 2, introducing the threat to a more populous region and exchanging some of the tension and isolation-derived horror for increased action and more visceral looks at civilians being subjected to sudden traumas. The increased presence of the Unitologist cult, and their antagonism with both Isaac Clarke and the scrambling Earth Gov also brings in more elements of religious horror and human-vs-human conflict which were just a part of the backstory of the original game.

Dead Space 3 – Darkest Space-Antarctica

In Dead Space 3, the homages become much stronger, and provide both a nice divergence and yet return to the Dead Space setting format. After some introduction, the bulk of the Dead Space 3 storyline takes place on the alien planet of Tau Volantis – a frozen world of dangerous weather patterns and difficult terrain. Tau Volantis was once colonized by humanity in the days of their galactic civil war, but has been abandoned for some two centuries due to the terrible secrets they unearthed there. Isaac and company escape to this planet at the promise of finding the clue to the Markers’ origins, and a way to stop them and the Necromorphs.

The references to The Thing couldn’t be clearer in the sheer choice of setting alone. Throughout his trek on Tau Volantis, Isaac navigates the aftermath of arctic-style expeditions on this barren world which in years past succumbed to the Necromorph parasite. The first enemies faced in the game are, in fact, Necromorphs resembling snowsuit-clad humans with glowing eyes, just a few visual cues off of the theatrical poster for 1982’s The Thing. Once again the themes of isolation return, as the bitter cold of the planet is not much more welcoming than the alien-infested subterranean tunnels. Throughout the game, audio logs chronicle the fate of the previous expedition, offering something of an expanded version of the relationship between the casts of The Thing and its prequel.

Though the references to the 1982 influence are clear, by the third act of the third game, the full elements of Cosmic Horror become fully manifest, with distinct homages to the grandfather of the genre – H.P. Lovecraft. Deep beneath the ice of Tau Volantis, it’s discovered that the old colonial expedition had unearthed not the secret of the Markers themselves, but of one of their victimized races. The Tau Volantians are a highly diverse and highly alien group of advanced yet extinct lifeforms whose own civilization progressed in a similar manner to that of humanity’s in the present day. By the end of Dead Space 3, Isaac Clarke finds himself traversing the cyclopean ruins of their subaquatic cities, searching for a supposed device that will stop the Necromorphs for good. Evidence of the aliens’ reliance on the Markers is clear, and the ultimate revelation comes at last with the reveal of Tau Volantis’ true history. At the peak of the Necromorph outbreak on the alien world, the Markers initiated a “Convergence Event” to spawn their final life-stage – a Brethren Moon. The Tau Volantians, using all the resources left to them, instead activated a terraforming device to freeze their planet, killing themselves but trapping the massive moon-creature in a form of stasis. With Unitologists threatening to unleash the Moon, Isaac must stop this final and penultimate threat, which he does in fact manage to do, at the seeming cost of his own life.

The connections to At the Mountains of Madness are striking and well-executed. Exploring the ruins of a strange yet familiar civilization of ages passed and uncovering the horrible truth of its downfall – the parallels to the fate of Lovecraft’s Elder Things are all too prominent. Just as the inspiration for John Carpenter’s The Thing – Who Goes There? (1938) by John Campbell – derived its setting from the “Darkest Antarctica” obsession in pulp horror and sci-fi, so too did At the Mountains of Madness. In turn, Dead Space 3 shows its knowledge of its roots by grabbing inspiration from all three, with a high-sci-fi take on the “frozen hell” setting and the dark secrets which might be uncovered beneath primordial ice.

The Red Moon – A Rare Case of True Cosmic Horror

But in the end, all of these themes are just set dressing. They are decent executions of common themes within the sci-fi horror-action genre and cute homages to the predecessors of Dead Space as a whole. However, a closer look at the full storyline of Dead Space once we are shown the truth of the final game creates a picture of a much better Cosmic Horror story than most acknowledge. The centermost theme of Cosmic Horror is the insignificance of humanity – the idea that the entire breadth of human existence is ultimately so fleeting and fragile in an infinite universe, that experiencing phenomena that showcase this insignificance could drive your average human insane. Over time, this idea – pioneered by Lovecraft’s works most notably – was diluted and bastardized to the point that few executions of Cosmic Horror would have any resemblance to Lovecraft’s works, as the aesthetics of Lovecraft were co-opted for simple sci-fi/fantasy horror.

But the ultimate lifecycle of the Necromorphs does in fact provide a fantastic and chilling example of this concept. The evolution of the Necromorphs is tied up in their enigmatic Markers, and their effects of other species can be seen in both humanity and the Tau Volantians. When a Marker is sent out into the cosmos by the Brethren Moons, it will (through unknown means) seek out a planet with existing life. From there, the Marker will encourage the growth of at least one species on that planet into a sapient form. Thereafter, the life cycle of this species will play out in a manner that is held to be guaranteed in the Dead Space universe – the species will seek out resources, become strapped for power and supplies as their massive civilization grows and grows, and turn to any desperate attempt to gain more sustaining power. From here, the Marker will fulfil that role, as the alien artifact that first uplifted this species will then begin to provide them with infinite amounts of electrical output. The species will be influenced by the Marker to build copies, with the end result being the ultimate Necromorph outbreak and formation of a Brethren Moon, which will proceed to consume the entire victim race along with its awakened siblings.

In this context, not only are these Brethren Moons ancient, godlike, and possessed of a perfect batting average for wiping the slate clean whenever they want to, but in fact all of human history has been nothing more than a tangential state of affairs as the Brethren Moons have been waiting for our species to grow to a suitable size for “harvest”. The entire plot of the Dead Space games was in fact premediated by these cosmic monstrosities, along with all of humanity’s development. The revelation that the Moons are not just unstoppable by sheer power, but unstoppable in terms of holding all the chips from the beginning, is suitable grounds for a character to have a mental breakdown. Likewise, the existence of multiple Moons suggests the deaths of many species going back untold millions or billions of years. Once the Moons are awakened, the doom of humanity is sealed, as illustrated in the third game’s final DLC. Not unlike how in Lovecraft’s own works, the goal of the heroes is not to defeat great monstrosities like Cthulhu or Azathoth, but delay their attentions towards Earth, so too does Isaac Clarke learn too late that the time to have stopped the Brethren Moons has come and passed.

“Dead Space”

Though the title of Dead Space is itself just a basic pun, within the universe of the games it also acts a distinct label. As humanity spread throughout the galaxy in search of resources, they found that every inch of habitable space was in fact devoid of life. It was “dead space”. Though the implications existed as far back as the first game, it was not until the finale that the full reason behind this was revealed. All of space had been scoured clean of life by the predations of the Brethren Moons over million-year cycles. It provides context to the gloomy, lonesome feel that hangs over the rest of the series, and further solidifies the sense of hopelessness and insignificance that are trademarks of the Cosmic Horror genre. Humanity finds itself having been raised from the start in a galactic farm for terrifying alien beings, and it is only at the moment that they learn this that they also learn there is nothing they can do to avoid becoming a part of this cycle.

The Incomprehensible

Another aspect of Dead Space’s storyline that gains a new dimension is the consistent hallucinations and madness experienced by its various characters. At first, these breakdowns might be viewed as just being some manner of psychic attack by the alien Markers in the usual “madness ray” variety of explanation common in Cosmic Horror properties nowadays. Yet when we come to the revelation that all the functions of the Markers are just emanations of the minds of the Brethren Moons themselves, it becomes far more believable and terrifying. It’s possible that, rather than being some manner of directed and almost deliberate mode of attack, the insanity that afflicts humans is just the result of human brains being exposed to the thoughts of the Moons. Vastness of disparity is another common theme in the genre – that even if a human could comprehend the motives of an alien being (hunger, for example), they would not be able to comprehend the sheer scope of those motives. Rather like how humans can comprehend numbers, though numbers past a certain size remain inconceivable to standard thinking, so too could the violent, hungry thoughts of something as big as a Brethren Moon seem like reality-warping alien schizophrenia to an ignorant human mind. The fact that, in the games, it is stated that more “intelligent” humans are less susceptible to the Marker’s broadcasts could reinforce this. The size and depth of the thoughts of these Brethren Moons might be incomprehensible and alien to most, but perhaps to a scientist, the common threads of mathematics could bleed through in the form of the occult runes seen throughout of the games.

Dreams are also a recurring feature in Lovecraft’s stories, with the dreams of his Elder Gods and other outer cosmic entities bleeding with reality frequently. As the Brethren Moons are shown to possess some manner of psychic power, and certainly the ability to broadcast their brains’ electrical signals in a way that can manipulate reality and biology, it could be interpreted that humanity is almost living in the disturbing dreams of these malevolent gods. Though the hallucinations are just that – illusions – the fact is that the Moons have the power to raise up monsters from the bodies of the dead through their mere will. This “dreams-make-reality” in terms of a suitably powerful creature tilts the scaled even further from humanity’s favor, yet does a fantastic job of reinforcing Dead Space’s position as a true example of proper Cosmic Horror.

Conclusion

Cosmic Horror is not just about monsters out in the cold void of space. It is a very specific take on the sci-fi horror genre which seeks to evoke feelings of hopelessness and insignificance as a source of terror, rather than more basic fear. Dead Space, in the ultimate conclusion of its storyline and universe-building, nails this concept better than most pop-culture properties. Though the elements of monsters, insanity, and the like are there, the overall position of humanity in their relation to the Necromorphs is right in line with how a Cosmic Horror story should be executed. Combining this with the aesthetic influences from other sci-fi horror properties which stood out as paragons of the genre, Dead Space managed to – despite its flaws – present a very well-conceived package to popular audiences. It is strange then how fast Dead Space disappeared from the gaming scene at the conclusion of its run, whereas similar properties which were contemporary with it and similar in popularity were not so quickly forgotten. It’s likely that, due to the massive financial focus shifts in the gaming industry between 2011 and 2017, that Dead Space was doomed regardless of the actual quality of its products. Dead Space 3 was crippled by unpopular microtransaction practices which would not go away in the coming years, spelling a very ignominious end for a rather well-conceived IP. However, it could be said that, like the fate of its protagonist, the fate of Dead Space was something which was unavoidable, though for the more mundane existential horrors of capitalist practice rather than some cosmic doom.

#dead space #cosmic horror #video game #gaming #essay

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danni-dollarsign · 5 years ago

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A Critical Look at “Pokemon: Sword and Shield” From a Casual’s Perspective...

A/N: Hey! if you’re reading this, then thank you! I don’t know why, but I thought to myself, “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool to write a pointless essay about a Pokemon game?” And then I realized today was the 1YR anniversary of SWSH, so I figured I might as well just do it! So even though I’m late and probably nobody will really care to read all this nonsense, I wrote it! If you’re interested in all the analyses of PKMN SWSH, but aren’t too invested in the technical mumbo-jumbo used by the more hardcore fans, then maybe you’ll enjoy this.

Also, it’s worth mentioning that I’m literally just some rando on the internet saying my opinion. None of this should really be taken SUPER seriously - it’s mainly designed to provoke thought rather than try to argue any specific idea. So if I say something that you don’t agree with, you got two options: 1) Draft a constructive comment or DM to me and we can discuss calmly like adults, 2) shake your idea and ignore this. There’s really no need to get heated up over a video game essay, of all things, so let’s not do that lol.

But other than that, yeah! If you’re interested in more stuff like this from me (in-depth analyses of Pokemon games from the perspective of a low-key casual), lemme know! I’d love to chat with anyone about this awesome series.

So, without any further ado, let’s get into the essay (warning: it’s like ~8k words).

Introduction...

Welcome to the wonderful world of Pokemon! Love it or hate it, Pokemon has had a huge impact on popular culture in countless countries in a number of different ways, sparking memes, dreams, and happiness everywhere! It holds a very special place in my heart - Pokemon was a game that I got to share with my two older siblings, was one of the first fandoms I got into, and was a big reason as to why I grew to love creative writing so much after writing a couple fanfictions for the games. I’ve been playing Pokemon ever since my brother gave me a copy of Pokemon: Ruby and have been a devoted fan ever since. While I may not be super into the strategy and damn near mathematical aspects of gameplay, I’d like to consider myself a relatively knowledgeable fan with enough extra knowledge to give a look at one of these games from a casual, yet analytical view. So what game other than the newest title, Pokemon: Sword and Shield, with its release anniversary being today? In this casual online essay, I hope to describe all my thoughts of Sword and Shield (which I’ll shorten down to just “SWSH”) from the perspective of the everyday Pokemon fan.

General Gameplay...

Many top-title games of Nintendo are best known for their simplicity: in Super Mario Bros, you’re a mustachioed red guy jumping on monsters to try and save some random princess (who may or may not be in this castle); in The Legend of Zelda, you’re a green elf-looking guy slashing wildly at monsters with a sword given to you by some old guy in hopes of defeating some ultimate bad guy; and in Pokemon, you’re a child wandering around the region catching monsters who also accidentally saves the world before becoming the very best (like no-one ever was). And while the games themselves have grown from that initial stylistic simplicity, some have lost that creative in-depthness in favor of being playable for children. This is probably the biggest issue with the newer Pokemon games as of late.

Regardless, let’s look into the playability of SWSH.

It’s played like your regular Pokemon game; you’re a kid who journeys to become the Champion of Pokemon Battling with your friend, catching monsters known as “Pokemon” with pocket-sized balls dubbed “Pokeballs.” But I’m sure you’re all aware of that information, and are instead asking “Well, what’s the deeper plot?” Yeah, no, that’s it. You’re a kid catching Pokemon to become champion - oh, and you also accidentally save the world from a power-hungry businessman - but that’s neither here nor there.

Plot aside, the game is a bit barebones. It’s pretty linear gameplay (literally linear - the map of the Galar region is almost exactly a straight-line waltz from Postwick to Wyndon, which is a bit weird after dealing with the giant, sprawling maps of earlier generations) where you travel from place to place, beating gyms and catching ‘mons, before getting into a couple scuffles and becoming champion. For an RPG-styled game, it comes off as much too simplistic for older fans (I’d even reason that it’s too simplistic for younger players, as well). While I will say, I don’t exactly miss the days of hopelessly wandering around a pixel city, trying desperately to figure out how to move on to the next town because the answer to the puzzle is hidden in this giant area that my little peanut-brain couldn’t figure out at the time. But it is a bit demeaning to get “Hey, do you know where to go?” and “Hey, follow me so you don’t get lost!” and “Oh, yeah, want another tutorial on how to easily catch Pokemon for the fourth time in a row?” every two seconds in a city where there’s only two places to check out.

But we can’t really discuss the gameplay of Pokemon without discussing the highlights of the region. Ever since the transition from 2D to 3D, Pokemon games have begun a trend of gimmicks - which I like to call “battle enhancers” - that they use to add uniqueness to their games. X&Y had Mega Evolution, Sun and Moon (and USUM) had Z-Moves, and now we have Dynamax! As we all know, battle enhancers are the strategy by which the player uses some extraterrestrial/magic stone to physically enhance one pokemon at a time for a certain period of time - in the case of Dynamax, the pokemon either grows in size or changes in form, gaining the ability to use special type-based attacks for a duration of three turns.

Honestly, I think it’s a pretty fun mechanic! Dynamax combines the good components of both Z-Moves and Mega Evolution - new forms, awesome moves, and a ticking clock. It adds a bit more strategy to the battle enhancer, where the player actually has to plan out who and when to Dynamax (though it’s really not that hard - most everyone will save it for their ace or the pokemon with the type advantage at the very end of the battle, because that’s what you do). But it’s fun and creative, making the battle a bit more exciting when you see your beloved ace become gargantuan on a field while the audience chants in excitement. Initially, I was skeptical of the battle enhancer, but once I threw myself into the game and really got into it, I felt it was fun and cool for the region. My feelings were further improved when I learned that Dynamax was inspired by the idea that the Nintendo Switch had the potential to be played on the TV as well as in a hand-held mode. The idea of turning pokemon “big” on a “big-screen” is really just so cute to me, really. Overall, it’s a fitting concept that is paired well to the game when everything is considered.

But when you look beyond the Dynamx experience to find more content in the game… there’s really not much else. Many people (including me) were ecstatic to hear about the free-roam areas in SWSH - the Wild Areas. Here, you can do all the fun grinding stuff that makes Pokemon games a bit more challenging and fun - hatching eggs, shiny-hunting, running around in circles, Dynamax dens, etc. But when looking at other Pokemon games, that’s really it. Let’s examine Pokemon: Sun and Moon, for example. This game really shines not just for its refreshing setting and compelling plot-line, but also for it’s amount of cute and quirky mini-games to be enjoyed for a good while outside of the main story. Pyukumuku Chucking, Mantine Surfing, the Alolan Photo Club, Ultra Warp Ride Travel - a good handful of mini-games that appeal to different kinds of people! All of these mini-games aren’t just tossed in there, either - they have a fitting place in the culture of the world and add to it, rather than just reiterating it. But when you look for mini-games in SWSH, you won’t really find anything aside from just battling. Sure, there’s the Battle Tower, as well, but I’ll personally say that I’ve never been a fan of the concept of post-game NPC battle buildings. For a hardcore player, they might be fun, but as a casual who can’t devote the time to really dig into understanding how IVs and competitive breeding works, they’re really no fun. Not to mention that nothing is really being added or developed with these battle buildings; they don’t add to lore, they don’t add to the culture of the region, you don’t even really gain anything from it - they’re pretty much just places to battle the occasional familiar face and that’s it. While I’m sure plenty of people adore these facilities in the games, I’ve never been too partial to them (I’d even prefer those god-forsaken casinos over another goddamn battle frontier).

But my biggest problem lies with the release of the DLC. While I’m not against the idea of DLC in general, both The Isle of Armour and The Crown Tundra left a bitter taste in my mouth when I started thinking about the issue of playability in SWSH.

I have always been more invested in the storyline of Pokemon games rather than the battling aspects. Usually I’ve always just gotten through the main story, then wandered around to find extra post-game content or mini-games, and then moved on to other games. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing - I just figure that the games have served their purpose for me upon completion, so rather than bore myself wandering around and doing things that don’t interest me, I go find another game that has more story-based content. That being said, I finished SWSH in less time than any other Pokemon game (I’d say somewhere around twenty hours, complete with me running around in circles like an idiot before rushing through content intermittently); as a result, I was no longer actively playing the game by the time the DLC was announced.

I’ll be honest and say that when I learned about all that was being offered in both sets of DLC, I felt a bit betrayed. I’m well-aware that Nintendo is a corporate business, and therefore will always prioritize financial gain over their fans’ lasting enjoyment of their titles - that’s just a fact of life. But I couldn’t help but feel like I paid a bunch of money for the bundled titles, only to play a game that hardly could be considered worthwhile or satisfying without added headcanons or fan-works, and then get told that extra content is available that may or may not add satisfaction to the experience that’s already long since ended for me. It was just a bit disappointing - and I’m not talking about the whole “Dexit” deal (I actually was on-board with the idea of having no real National Dex - I felt it added realism to the games and would force players to get to know the new Pokemon instead of just choosing the same team they always have since Gen 1 or whatever). My gripe is that I paid for a whole game, wasn’t satisfied with the result, only to hear later that the content that I might have been missing is available to pay for? That’s incredibly annoying. Not to mention that I was further disappointed after learning about the contents of the DLC, but we’ll get into that later.

Overall, the playability of SWSH is very basic, but can be enjoyable if you suspend belief and just enjoy it for what it is. When it comes to storyline, it’s not much of a game, and doesn’t sport much post-game content besides battling.

Immersion and Ambience...

Many of my friends can attest that I tend to like silly, fantastical concepts because I personally love to throw myself into the universe being offered to me. Pokemon is really no different - the games have always sported a very immersive experience for me thanks to the combination of interesting regions and evocative music (especially the music).

I think that most every Pokemon fan has a specific region, city, and music theme that sparks a plethora of nostalgic emotions to the point of near tears. For me, that’s always been Pokemon: Platinum, the Twinleaf Town theme - just staring into the rippling reflection of the pond by the player’s home, listening to that beautiful synth clarinet playing that nostalgic melody - it makes my heart beat with so much fervent passion that I hardly have the words to describe it! And I think that sense of nostalgia - regardless of whether or not those memories are old or new - has always been a strong-suit for Pokemon games. They always have the ability to inspire such deep emotions in me and other alike in a variety of ways, further adding to the ability to immerse us into the game’s world. And whether your favorite area is as simple as Twinleaf Town in the Sinnoh region, or as agonizing as Rock Tunnel in Kanto, it’s the spirit of certain cities/towns/routes that further add to the immersion of the world in question. But how well does SWSH hold those values? Spoiler Alert: Not very well.

SWSH, in the end, is still a Pokemon game - so the setting is very vibrant and colorful and everything that can hold my attention for long periods of time. But the problem arises when one begins to progress through the game and continuously forgets what’s where and where’s what. A lot of the map is painfully basic (again, due to the literal linear nature of the Galar region) and the cities themselves kind of lack their own real originality. There was an attempt at unique cities that’s become iconic of the Pokemon franchise, but it doesn’t really stick. I think most people would agree with me that the only real memorable areas in the main game were Slumbering Weald, Ballonlea, and Spikemuth, and each of these areas have their own set of problems that also make them a bit difficult to fully enjoy. At their core, most all Galarian cities have the same basic set-up: basic green plants (if plants are in that area at all), the same brick roads that lead either to the gym or to a route leading in/out of city to another city, and a giant gym/key building in the center of it all. And that’s really about it. No real interesting buildings except for gyms and Rose Tower (and I guess technically the hotels), no extraneous locations that aren’t directly related to the plot or to gimmicks - it’s very bare-bones and really can take you out of the experience.

In a hard contrast, I’ll give the example of Generation 1’s region set up - every city has its own personality that also matches the feel of the region as a whole. Every city is based on colors, and each city is themed after that, respectively (i.e. Vermillion City, the city of sunsets themed around the color orange, is home to the Pokemon Fan Club and the kick-ass electric-type gym that initiates feelings of excitement; Lavender Town, the noble town themed around the color purple, is home to the Pokemon Tower and spooky spirits that inspire feelings of somberness and reticence). Obviously, this isn’t very realistic, but the trick isn’t to replicate reality - it is to inspire reality. The Kanto region is incredibly creative, and therefore is easy to immerse oneself into the world because it’s become a world we are actively interested in. We know that it could never truly be real or plausible, but that hardly matters when we are so enthralled with the colors and set-up and feeling of the towns. We don’t really get much of that in Galar. It probably isn’t such a great idea for your final city - being Wyndon - to feel blank and lifeless when compared to minor cities in the region. And even when we find cities that hold that uniqueness we desire like in Spikemuth or Ballonlea, there’s really no other reason to be there longer than just beating the gym. It’s sad, really. Spikemuth is such a interesting, creative-looking town home to such cool characters, and yet there literally is only one path to get in and out of the town - the town isn’t even given small houses to investigate like literally every other city in the region. It’s a waste of potential! The fact that I can’t investigate such a promising setting that inspires me really takes me out of the world, reminding me that this is just a video game in which you move from Point A to Point B. It’s no longer a fantasy world for me to explore, but instead a line at the DMV to get my Drivers’ License. The only real good thing about this is that fanfiction writers get so much free-reign when it comes to writing about the city - the only thing we really learn about the city is that it’s underfunded and gloomy and that’s literally it. I would have really liked to see more inspired cities around the region where things outside of the main plot can be done, but hopefully this is just a problem we’ll see in this region.

Probably the most important aspect of immersion (in my opinion) is the music. With the potential to make or break a game for me, I hold a lot of expectations on the music found in video games (I’ve been classically trained in music since elementary school, and have always had a fondness for video game music). Pokemon music has always been some of the most inspiring pieces of art in my life - whether it be the kickass battle suite of Champion Cynthia, or the somber piano melody of Emma’s Theme, the music of Pokemon has always been the first thing I notice and analyze whenever playing the latest title. That all being said, I have quite a few notes to make in regards to the soundtrack of SWSH.

I’ll start with the pros, first. Generally, every main title has had its own feel when it comes to the soundtrack - DPP was jazzy and smooth, Sun and Moon was based on popular Hawaiian music meshed together with classic Pokemon synths, RSE was all about the horn section (trombones and french horns all the way!). SWSH, at the end of the day, isn’t much different. The region is inspired by the UK, so it’s no surprise to discover that the soundtrack was inspired by popular British Rock. As a result, a lot of themes went really hard, keeping a hint of individuality even when some battle themes hosted similar instruments. The biggest appeal of the soundtrack, I believe, was found in the little moments, namely the cheers of the gym battle themes. I think it’s safe to say that most people get super hyped when they hear those rhythmical chants coming to life whenever in the final leg of the battle, right when you begin to Dynamax. That’s amazingly exciting, never failing to suck me into that exact moment to gather the power of God and anime to defeat my opponent. While I wasn’t totally rocking out to every single song that came on, I was pretty satisfied with the music of SWSH, overall. It’s not too bad, and hosts a few bops that I still seek out to get my blood pumping.

But, as to be expected, there are plenty of cons when it comes to the soundtrack of SWSH. I could go over this for hours and hours, detailing complex definitions of music theory and basic song comprehension, but I’ll just make this nice and simple: it was really bland.

Note that I said “bland” and not “bad” - the music is fine in my opinion, I just wasn’t feeling the same feelings as I had in previous Pokemon titles. It all felt like Pokemon music, but not much else. It was like remembering hints of a memory long-lost, but you don’t really care about to dig deep into your mind for context. Towns had music, routes had music, pokemon and characters had battle themes, yada yada yada, nothing really to write home about. If I had to pick a song that honestly, truly invoked emotions beyond “Oh it’s battle time, now”, it would have to be the Battle Tower Theme, and that’s most likely because it was written by someone else entirely (Toby Fox, also known as the creator of Undertale and composer of super hard-hitting jams). And the worst part is that I never would have even been able to hear the Battle Tower theme because I hate battle buildings (which is more of a personal problem, I know, but still). Honestly, I would have preferred hearing that theme as compared to Champion Leon’s battle theme - I feel like his champion theme was very bland and lifeless, simply holding all the required elements of a Pokemon battle theme just because that’s what has to happen. It’s uninspired, faceless, and corporate, only to be completely foiled by the unique blast of energy found in the Battle Theme, which just screams “Prove that you’re the best!” over and over to me (also known as a big theme in the Pokemon games, especially in SWSH).

That’s not to say that every other theme in the game was terrible. I much enjoyed Marnie and Piers’ battle themes, but for a different reason. As we know, Piers and Marnie host a more “punk rock” style when compared to literally everyone else in-game, a trademark of Spikemuth citizens. With their occasionally cold and prickly (no pun intended) personalities, their themes go a bit harder into rock-land as compared to characters like Hop or Bede. There’s no conflict of style there - it’s “punk” with “rock”, loads of guitars and bass with a hint of synths to keep that Pokemon flare, and fits a bit better in the setting of the world. Mild conflict arises when we start looking at characters who aren’t rockstars or idols - let’s look at Bede’s theme, for example. While it really isn’t a bad theme (it’s actually, dare I say, a bop), I wouldn’t exactly say that the resulting pieces fit neatly together like they do for the Spikemuth duo. Bede’s theme requires a lot of synths to accentuate his more flamboyant and immature personality, but also holds ties with the rock guitars while also trying so desperately hard to sound like a Pokemon song. Now, I don’t think “Pop Synth Rock” is anything bad, per se; I just feel like the added rock elements didn’t do much to add to the musical representation of our cliche jerk-face “rival”. It feels like the rock elements were an after-thought rather than a planned layer of musicality. I could really say the same thing about Hop’s theme, but then I would have to re-listen to Hop’s theme because I always forget what it sounds like even after listening to it a second before.

A big problem is that not many of these themes hold lastingly memorable motifs/melodies, which is a personal pet-peeve of mine in games where the music is highly esteemed. In pretty much every battle theme (except the generic pokemon encounter theme, which is the same melody in every Pokemon game, only with variations added to fit the music theme of the region) is just an on-going strip of notes that sound nice when playing the game, but if you tried to pick out the specific melody-line of that character, it’s a bit of work to really find anything. Let’s look at a more concrete example: Lusamine’s battle theme from Pokemon: Sun and Moon is up on my list of most memorable battle themes, and will do well without the extra influence of young me’s nostalgia seeping in like it would with earlier generations’ battle themes. Lusamine, as we know, was the elite antagonist of the game, being the leader of this esteemed Pokemon protection group who later is revealed to be using Pokemon for her own demented goals of perfection. Almost immediately, the player hears the signature accents of the harpsichord playing the prime motif before the piece digs into a full orchestration. It doesn’t sacrifice anything for the sake of “sounding like a Pokemon song”, nor does it sacrifice anything for the sake of keeping with the musical inspiration. Instead, it focuses on being exactly what it needs to be - a musical representation of Lusamine, hosting orchestra-based instruments (piano, violas and cellos, horns, violins, light pad synths, etc…). Most anyone can pick out a handful of memorable motifs from her theme (the main horns melody line, the harpsichord melody line, the mid-section cello and piano melody line, etc…), and those remain in our unconscious. So, it’s no surprise that when she becomes the “Mother Beast” later on, when the player hears hints of those signature melody lines becoming distorted in the madness of the new battle theme, it invokes a particular emotion that fits elegantly with the subject matter of the plot right then. In short, it’s musical storytelling done right. In SWSH, we don’t have that extra omph of emotionally-nostalgic motifs; instead, we just get songs that play in the background of this video game, and that’s really it. If you don’t like the song, good news - you’ll probably only hear it once or twice, depending on who the NPC is. If you do, then you’re out of luck for the very same reasons. This game lacks a very basic hint of soul to its soundtrack, which is really such a jarring idea especially when you realize that they paired up with a composer who arguably has mastered the idea of musical motifs (Fox).

This really isn’t just SWSH’s problem, either. I also went through a similar heartbreak in S&M during the final stretch of the main game; after battling Lusamine and saving the region from the threat of Ultra Beasts (more or less, anyway), we the player go to challenge the champion, who is revealed to be Profession Kukui since there really is no true champion for the newly-made league. It’s hard to go from an exciting, powerful battle theme like Lusamine’s to some generic, cardboard-cut-out version of a champion battle theme for Kukui. It’s hard to invoke any sort of emotional appeal when there’s no real inspiration to be felt in the music; with no emotional connection, there is no emotion. It’s, once again, just music that plays in the background of a video game. A similar experience happens in SWSH with the player’s match against Champion Leon; though we have the potential to gain an emotional connection to a Leon Theme motif, we don’t get that. Instead, we just get music that is programmed to be exciting for our championship match that will undoubtedly change our lives forever. Bland, boring, anti-climatic - all for the sake of coloring in the lines. This has been an on-going problem in Pokemon games for years in which the Championship Battle Theme is less interesting than the Evil Team Battle Theme, which probably isn’t a good idea. It’s annoying when your villain has a better theme than the literal strongest trainer in the region - it ruins the chances of likability for the region’s “good guys” and overall is anti-climatic when it is finally time to become champion.

Overall, the ability to immerse someone like me in a game is very important when it comes to retaining players. While SWSH isn’t the worst Pokemon game when it comes to immersion (considering the fact that I actually beat the main game, which I can’t say for other main Pokemon titles…), Game Freak certainly could stand to learn from the game’s shortcomings.

Creature and Character Design...

The monster design is arguably one of the most controversial topics when it comes to any Pokemon game. Some people only care about the designs of Gen 1, others accept everything but Gen 5, and a select few could rant for hours on the stupidity of literally every Pokemon design in the franchise. Regardless, the design of the Pokemon native to the Galar region is an important topic of discussion when analysing the potential for enjoyment of the game. After all, I’m an artist who loves drawing all my favorite characters as well as my favorite Pokemon, so understanding the designs of these beloved figures is vital to understanding the game in general. For sanity’s sake, I’ll only be discussing new Pokemon introduced in this region, and will be ignoring all previous pokemon that aren’t regional variants.

Overall, the designs of the latest Pokemon are satisfactory. Because of my tendency to always suspend belief in fantasy works, I’ve very rarely had much to hate about Pokemon designs (not even in Gen 5, though I don’t particularly like any of them aside from the game cover legendaries). SWSH didn’t really bring much to the table when it comes to brand-new Pokemon, but the ones introduced are fitting and interesting: the Dragapult line, all three starters (even if I did laugh for literal hours at the discovery of Cinderace’s typing), Wooloo and Dubwool, Yamper and Boltund - just to name my top favorites. And I was totally invested in the designs of the game cover legendaries, Zamazenta and Zacian, since they held cultural relations with the region’s inspiration and therefore had actual meaning within the game besides just being cool mythical creatures. Nothing really outright bothered me with the designs or pokemon choices in this game; as I mentioned earlier, I was okay with the idea of no National Dex for this region, and that all the pokemon allowed in this game matched with the region well-enough.

But, of course, it’s not without faults. I found there to be a substantial lack of original legendaries in this game - we only have three real legendaries to catch in the main-game, four if you consider the DLC. We had a similar problem in Pokemon: Sun and Moon, but it was later amended with the introduction of Ultra Beasts (which can technically be regarded as legendary Pokemon, albeit from another dimension and not technically Pokemon). In SWSH, we are only given the option of catching more than two legendaries if we buy the DLC - this is remarkably disappointing for those who are interested in seeing new, unique Pokemon designs. I know many fans are constantly frustrated with Game Freak’s tendency to overuse Gen 1 Pokemon, but the fact that nobody is bothered by the running trend of being able to easily catch a bunch of previous games’ legendaries is beyond me. It’s essentially the same thing, overly relying on the fanbase’s sentimental nostalgia rather than moving forward to create new creature designs. I know for a fact that so many people would have been excited to catch Pokemon with cultural significance (maybe like elf Pokemon that resemble that of Seelie/Unseelie fairies, or more Pokemon that resemble chess pieces, or maybe more Pokemon that follow a theme of medieval artifacts - there are many possibilities), so the fact that they skimped out in favor of making people pay for nostalgia is ridiculous to me. This was a majority of the reason why I rejected buy any of the DLC content - why would I pay for Pokemon I’ve technically caught before? I mean, I guess it can be more for the kids who have never encountered the older legendaries, but then again, wouldn’t it be more beneficial for your game to have Pokemon that actually represent the new region? Instead of just stealing other games’ legendaries for the sake of saying that you have them, they could have just worked a little harder to design maybe three or six more cool legendary designs and centered those guys around the two DLC locations instead of just having Calyrex for The Crown Tundra. At the end of the day, it’s really just a cash-grab; the only reason I could ever see myself understandably buying the DLC for SWSH would be because I wanted to interact more with my favorite NPCs, but then again, I can just look at screenshots on Twitter and feel just as satisfied.

But not all is lost in terms of designs. Now let’s get into my favorite design portion of this segment and discuss the NPCs.

First, we’ll dig into the rivals. Personally, I really enjoyed the rivals of this game; while Pokemon is definitely running on a formula, I still was able to find enough about the three rival characters to genuinely enjoy their presence whenever they came on screen. I suppose we can expect to keep seeing this new Pokemon Trainer Rival Formula: Kind of Annoying but Too Sweet to Hate BFF Rival (Hop), 2 Edgy 5 U Rival (Bede), and Some Pedo’s Waifu Material Rival (Marnie).

Hop is arguably one of my favorite Pokemon rivals of all time (right up there with Gladion from S&M). He’s one of the only Pokemon characters to get a realistic character development over the course of the game’s playable story, which really humanizes him and makes up for his occasionally annoying personality. Over the course of the game, Hop goes from silently residing in his brother’s shadow to learning to stand on his own without needed any outside validation; much to my surprise, it’s not some half-hearted transition. Hop doubts himself during the challenge, as evidenced not just by his dialogue but in the way he actively changes his team to try and be more competitive like everybody else. I remember feeling so heartbroken in realization that Hop stopped using his beloved Wooloo, which is rightfully paired up with the excitable boy. The idea that Hop uses Wooloo, a normal-type cute Pokemon that generally wouldn’t be used in a competitive team, really adds more dimension to his character; when he learns to enjoy himself instead of letting his doubts overtake him, he returns to using Dubwool and his favorite team, demonstrating how he would prefer to have fun as himself than be someone he isn’t. I found that to be a really wholesome theme to his character, one that we haven’t really seen in a Pokemon game yet - it was a pleasant surprise! Hop is sweet and kind, always wanting to motivate the player even when he’s in his own internal turmoil. With all that added with his adorable babyface and goofy/awkward preteen disposition, he really makes for a likeable rival character.

The next rival to be introduced is none other than our classic Mean Boy rival, Bede. He’s a character the fanbase is a bit more accustomed to due to previous titles’ rivals (i.e. Green/Blue/Gary Oak from in R&G/B, Silver from SGC, technically also Gladion from S&M…), so are quite a few expectations placed on his character as a result. Also true to the typical Pokemon Jerk Rival, he has a complicated homelife (he comes from an orphanage, as we later learn) and has a similarly complicated parent-child relationship to the leading antagonist of the game (in this case, Chairman Rose). Bede constantly assumes himself to be better than he is and isn’t afraid to be a total prick about it, choosing to bully Hop upon winning battles against him to boost his own inflated ego (though there’s hints pointing to Bede actually having rather low self-esteem). All things considered, I liked Bede as a character about as much as one can like a mean rival archetype, but I was more than pleased to discover his transition to a more likably mean-spirited character when he later returns to the game to challenge the player after being disqualified from the challenge. While we’ve had a likeable mean rival before (namely Gladion), Bede is something of his own entity with how he actually has an attempt at character development that leads him to a mini-redemption near the end of the game. He’s really the first mean rival to have a transition from total jerk to slightly-peeved tsundere, which was probably a good idea on Game Freak’s part so that we wouldn’t be left with a character we downright hated after the way Bede quite literally destroys Hop’s confidence. It’s nowhere near as impressive as Hop’s character development (which isn’t super impressive to begin with, but let’s ignore that fact for a bit), but it’s still interesting to see in a monster-catching game about being the best you can be.

And then, of course, we get to the cute-girl rival, Marnie, also known as the place where I get a bit mad again. I’d like to say that I absolutely love Marnie; she has an adorable design and interesting personality that captures my attention whenever she has screen time. But she serves one purpose in this game, and one purpose alone - being the main cute girl rival of the game. Marnie has the potential to be a similarly interesting rival (cute design that meshes “punk” with “cute”, has a wholesome and fun dynamic with her gym leader older brother, uses a Pokemon that isn’t considered to be a “competitive” choice as her ace, has a cool/cute personality…), and yet we probably only talk to her about five times over the course of the main game. Little is done with her character - in fact, the only real thing she does in the game other than becoming the next dark-type gym leader is that she helps the player sneak into Spikemuth after the gates have been shut by the remarkably-harmless Team Yell. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I would have loved to have seen more done with her character. With the boy rivals being more fleshed out than her, it leaves a sour taste in my mouth because the female rival is the one left with a blank personality (and I’m not just saying that because she hardly smiles - that’s really one of the only things we get about her that gives her an actual personality). My frustrations are further exacerbated because this has always been an issue in Pokemon games, in which the girl rivals are so barebones for seemingly the only purpose of serving as some neckbeard’s waifu that they can input a personality they desire despite the fact that she’s canonically a minor. Why put in the time to give dimension to Hop and Bede, but not Marnie? And we know for a fact that Game Freak has to recognize the lack of personality given to Marnie, especially since they had previously come out with Lillie’s wonderfully sweet character arch in S&M and USUM. Personally, I feel that it was because they didn’t feel like having a more punkish girl character who also had traditionally feminine-coded interests (she’s known to have been distracted during the gym challenge by the boutiques) and ultimately decided to just not give her any further personality other than that, perhaps fearing that it would dissuade the gross creeper fanbase from latching onto her. But that’s really just speculation, so don’t take any of my nonsense too seriously. Really, I’d just rather we had a girl rival with more personality to match the other two rivals so it wasn’t so annoyingly unbalanced.

Moving on from the rivals, we get into the designs of the League Staff of the game. In most other Pokemon games, I’d never really been too interested in the gym leaders; they had always been more of minor bosses, just faces that you saw for a couple of seconds before pummeling their ‘mons and moving to the next city. But in this game in particular, there was a sudden transition from simple puzzle master to a full-on celebrity figure. I really enjoyed this! It was so nice to actually have some information on the gym leaders other than what type they sported; suddenly, they have personalities and interests - they become real to the player. Not to mention that there really is a gym leader for everyone to enjoy, thanks to their unique personalities and styles.

I’ll be a bit honest and say that some of their clothing designs are remarkably stupid for even an anime-based RPG game (I mean, I know we joke about Leon’s terrible sense of fashion in the fanbase, but can we just pause and ponder what Piers’ wears? I mean, a leather jacket with spandex? Metal boots and a work-out tank??? What is he wearing?!), but it isn’t exactly distracting. In Western cultures in particular, we can see a trend towards the glamourization of the “athleisure” style, or athletic wear designed more for everyday use rather than just working out. It was kind of fitting to see this be the primary style for the gym leaders, who can basically be described as hierarchical sports stars. Weird? Sure. But in the context of the world, it all fits together, and once again adds to the immersion aspect of the game.

Looking at our main antagonists, they are designed quite well. Chairman Rose is designed to be quite easy and fun to hate (at least for me) - he’s an important-looking businessman who’s very impressed with himself, paired up with a beautiful yet terrifying subordinate woman who does most all the hardwork for him (...actually, they kind of remind me of an antagonistic Cl. Mustang and Lt. Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist…). They also had noteworthy battle themes that popped a bit more than other battle themes in the game.

While they hardly count as antagonists, I’d like to also make a brief mention of Team Yell. They’re more annoying than anything, which is a trend that I’m not too sure how I feel about yet. It was definitely more likable coming from Team Skull, that’s for sure. I would have liked Team Yell doing a bit more damage, having them be a bit more unruly and controversial before evening them out with the whole emotional appeal of them cheering on for Marnie in hopes of saving their ruined town. But they weren’t too terrible in my opinion.

I could talk for hours on the champion of the region, too, Champion Leon. He’s a really fun and charming character overall, less of the supremely wise and powerful champion that we’ve seen in older gens and instead being a more quirky but worthwhile opponent on the path towards the crown. But I definitely preferred him more as a character than as a champion; even though his team changes depending on your starter, it’s not too challenging of a fight if you know what you’re doing, especially when you immediately know what his ace pokemon is (something we don’t really learn in other gens about the champions). While I’m sure the idea of a powerful but transparent champion can be done, Leon doesn’t really stand up as a powerful trainer when compared to other champions in the franchise. But he’s definitely still a fun, interesting character concept that I am grateful for in this particular game.

When it comes to the designs of the primary NPCs and Pokemon, SWSH continues to talk that line just above mediocrity. Not too bad, not all that great, but definitely not something to be forgotten. I’d reason that the primary strength of this generation lies within the characters that are introduced.

Uniqueness vs. Status as a Pokemon Game...

In regards to the uniqueness - how well this game stands on its own as an individual concept rather than just another Pokemon game - I’m a bit divided. On one hand, I’m a bit saddened by the watering down of content and constant reliance on concepts from older games. But I can also see that SWSH introduced a lot of interesting ideas that have inspired so many fans for this generation. And while yes, this gen didn’t have much to offer in terms of new Pokemon, new scenarios, or new lore, I do think that it does hold its own when compared to the other games in the main series. New characters are introduced to the player, all of which having good (and bad) traits that allow for lots of fan-created content with their essence; a new look into a brand-new battle enhancer that requires a different strategy than those of previous battle enhancers; a new culture found within the Galar region that can inspire many more thoughts and theories on the Pokemon world as a whole in a number of ways. We cannot pretend that SWSH isn’t an influential game just because it wasn’t ground-breaking; even with my extreme distaste for the Black and White games, I still admit that they led to important decisions and ideas that led to the creation of games I did enjoy. So, as its own entity, I think that Pokemon: Sword and Shield really has a lot of offer and would probably be an amazing game for a younger player who’s just getting into the Pokemon universe.

But I think that a lot of us long-time fans can agree that this game doesn’t quite match up with the others in terms of giving those real “Pokemon game” feelings. The problem with big-titles like this is that the company tends to lose sight of what really makes a franchise so influential isn’t the stuff found at face-value. It’s not the creatures or NPCs or game mechanics or design or any of that garbage - it’s the feelings we get when all of those things reach that perfect harmony. It’s the rumble in my chest whenever I listen to that famous intro-sequence of my old Pokemon: Ruby game; it’s the fire in my eyes when I went back to challenge Pokemon Trainer Red for the tenth time that night back in my old Pokemon: Heart Gold game; it’s the tears I cried when I watched the only interesting character, N, leave my playable character after his emotional spiel following the defeat of Ghetsis in my long-since abandoned copy of Pokemon: White. At the end of the day, Pokemon is more of an emotion I get rather than a game I play, and I think this is an idea that few people can recognize for themselves. And while I’m aware that I literally just spent several thousand words bagging and praising this game for all those face-value aspects, I also know that when you add that extra little bit of care to your work, go a little further with a character you know someone will adore, or try something new with that new battle theme, there comes a sensation that goes beyond that of love for a silly fantasy game. I’d like to think it’s something akin to inspiration.

Conclusion...

In conclusion, Pokemon: Sword and Shield is far from perfect. With a number of faults and disappointments, I can understand why a lot of fans were less than interested in giving this game the time of day. But I also want to say that this game deserves to be understood and appreciate for what it is, for what it’s done. Who knows what sort of new ideas this game has inspired? Whether it be in the name Pokemon game or someone else’s passion project, I am confident in the potential that this game has to bring someone’s dreams to fruition. It already has inspired so much amazing fan-content from the community; after so many years of being away from the fandom, SWSH was the game that drove me right back, giving me the drive to once again indulge in my middle-school days of sketching out my latest comfort character or writing out a million headcanons in a way-too plot-heavy story. Many fan-creators in this community feel the same as me, I’m sure, so it would be untrue of me to say that this game was anything less than what it was: a fun, simple game that prides itself in its characters and potential rather than complex combat mechanics or some corkboard-plot nightmare. It’s a game meant to be enjoyed, so we must remember to find our enjoyment wherever it can be found. For me, Pokemon can’t really do much wrong, but also is held up to a level of expectations that I can’t quite understand even for myself. This, at the end of the day, is a video game from my all-time favorite franchise; so long as I can find enjoyment there in it, then it’s worth it. In a world filled with nihilism and cynicism, it’s nice to visit a land where you’re wise to try and be the very best like no-one ever was, to be the next best Pokemon Master.

#pokemon #Pokemon Sword and shield #pokemon swsh #swsh #sword and shield #game review #game #analysis #review #post mortem #(does this count as post mortem???)#casual gamer #essay #video game #food for thought

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rainydawgradioblog · 5 years ago

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a covidsation with august

Max Moore is a Vashon Island based artist, who just released stunningly ethereal album called Trust under the moniker August. Check it out-- ya won’t regret it! Thank you so much to Max for taking time to answer these questions and providing wonderful insight on this crisis and how we can all support each other!

Lola Gil: Tell me about your project. How long have you been making music (as August, or otherwise)? Which artists are you most inspired by? How would you describe your sound?

Max Moore: i started making music under the name august only this year ! for a long time i have been searching for a project and creative space that felt both personal and truthful, it just happened to all come together with the release of my ep, trust, in february ! i have released music under many other names over the years as i experimented and dipped my toes into different sounds and styles, my first releases on the internet were from when i was like, 12 !!! as far as musical heroes, the list is long but at the top would be arthur russell, bjork, brian wilson, arca, nick drake, sophie, elliott smith, autechre, harry nilsson, burial ... i really could go on forever. i think a lot of people try to hide their true influences but i feel there is something sexy about putting it all out there and referencing them as would an author, filmmaker, painter etc. my "sound" these days seems to be quite amorphous, it really is shifting from minute to minute. i would like to think it would sound like some amalgamation of the artists i listed earlier but it's hard for me to tell.

LG: How long was the process of making and producing your most recent album, Trust? How do you feel now that it’s out? Are you planning on releasing any new music soon?

MM: the process was looooong, like really long. i didn't release any music "seriously" for 3 or 4 years ! trust came out of a sudden, brief moment of clarity and surrender, as cheesy as that sounds. i was able to overcome a lot of the blockages i face in my creative process and just assemble this thing, and it just fell together ! i had all of these bits and pieces and sketches and ideas that never fully developed into anything, so i decided to compile them into one continuous piece of music. i was really into this idea of sonic miniatures or vignettes, short and sweet but with a depth that's only barely touched upon before moving on to the next. it was so incredibly therapeutic and wonderful to put it out into the world, so much support from friends and peers all around me. for now i'm still incubating but am hoping to see new music taking form this year :)

LG: As an artist, how have you been affected by COVID-19? You mentioned you had a handful of shows cancelled-- what has your experience been/what are your thoughts towards live streaming?

MM: like many artists in the community, i had a good handful of shows, contracted work, etc. canceled as a result of the virus. i am lucky enough to be in a position currently where i did not have to take a significant financial hit due to this (i work a day job at a record store & cafe) but i know many artists who now are struggling to make rent and stay safe through this pandemic. i think live streaming is a beautiful and special way for artists to connect with fans, especially in a time like this ! but there are so many aspects to a real, alive, performance that just can't exist in that digital space. for example, making friends and connections, selling merch, interacting face to face with fans, etc. though there is something beautiful about people from around the world being able to tune in to a livestream and make song requests, leave a nice comment, confess their love lol

LG: Apart from August, have you been involved in any other creative projects recently?

MM: recently i have been moving into more sound design work ! i was recording and mixing sounds for a play that was to run in june i believe, which just today was postponed until next year. that was my first *official* sound design job, i was really looking forward to it :(

LG: How have you been personally affected by COVID? What has your quarantine experience been like so far?

MM: aside from being out of work, and not being able to connect with friends, i feel very privileged as i am with my family, in my home. i have had a lot of time to do things that normally i am barely able to squeeze into my day like journaling, going for walks, extensive music writing sessions, playing video games. i think a lot of us are facing serious anxiety and depression right now, so i am really prioritizing my mental health, and making sure my friends and family are well. also, this new animal crossing game really could not have come at a better time, i don't know where i would be right now without it to be honest.

LG: What music have you been listening to recently? What has been your go-to quarantine album/song?

MM: in any times of crisis, confusion, sadness, happiness, really in any time at all i always turn to the same album: arthur russell's 'world of echo'. to me it is the perfect record, i aspire to make music that makes me feel the way that album does. it is a great listen if you need some time to reflect, or need something reflected back at you ! another favorite right now is bo en, he's done some incredible video game soundtracks (i'm playing through one right now called 'pikuniku', soooo sweet) and just has the most brilliant ideas. ooo and alice coltrane !!! special music only right now.

LG: Were there any spring shows that you were particularly looking forward to that got cancelled?

MM: i have been waiting to see arca in seattle since i was a sophomore in high school, and she announced a tour only a few weeks before all of this went down ! hopefully there will be a rescheduled date that i will be able to attend ... fingers crossed

LG: How do you think the Seattle/greater Seattle area music scene is going to shift post-COVID?

MM: i think coming out of this time we will see an enormous influx of events as we all recognize how special and necessary these sorts of things are. i know i will be so grateful to be able to run around and dance and meet up with friends, all of that good stuff. i am hoping that we will not forget these times though and can sustain that excitement, we really will need it moving forward. there will be many more bumps in the road and we need to be prepared (as a community) to address them together !!!

LG: In this era of social distancing, how do you think artists can support each other during these weird and difficult times? How do you think social media is facilitating and/or inhibiting connection within Seattle’s creative community?

MM: luckily thanks to the internet there are SO many ways to support our artist friends, if anybody is unsure of how to do so please reach out to me or any other artist, they will be so happy you asked ! whenever i can i try to purchase merch, support on websites like bandcamp where money goes (for the most part) directly to artists, and promote + support bipoc, trans, & queer artists. it never hurts to reach out, connection is so important to sustain any way possible right now. i think social media can be dangerous as far as connection goes, but right now i am seeing a lot of openness and offering of resources as we all wake up every day into the reality that there is this crazy virus taking over !!!!!! the internet and technology are completely shifting the direction of art and community, in some good ways and in some bad ways. we need to remember that social media is a tool and a resource firstly, and also that the people who designed these apps we use purposefully made them addicting, mostly through analyzing our own data and habits ! my hope is that as our brains gradually begin to adjust to these new devices and systems, we can let go of some of the isolation and anxiety that they bring up in us.

-Lola Gil

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writeanapocalae · 6 years ago

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Surprise it’s a tutorial!

Because @tenacious-scripturient and @agnodice-writes asked for help making characters earlier and it just so happened that I need to design a character RIGHT NOW I thought I’d do a bit of a tutorial while I do it? I’ve never done something like this so I hope it works.

1) Inspiration - Last night I watched the original Charlie’s Angels and I remembered my absolute love for the Creepy Thin Man. Since I am always making more evil men and my story needs an evil man I’m taking some of the aspects of that character for my own. I’m going to take the sharp look and the nonverbal characteristics while dumping the hair pulling, screaming, and smoking.

You can take your inspiration from just a look, from an art piece, from someone you know, or from other characters you have. If you have a film character that can be helpful to draw you back to the basics if you ever get away from them. You can also combine multiple inspirations and make them one.

2) Image- This part is so much fun for me and I’m hoping that it is for others too! I personally draw my characters but creating some imagery for your character can be done through picrew, pinterest (hiss), faceclaims, or video game character creations! While I draw my character I try to imagine things about them. Here’s a 3 minute sketch of my character

His face is a lot softer than the inspiration, he’s got a kinder personality and is far more patient. He has terrible posture, which lets me know how he sits and stands and gives me a hint as to how to write his idle motions. He has this loose sort of Bluth hair and he’s not wearing a full suit like the other characters in the story are, so he’s a lot more casual than they are. He’s wearing a turtleneck so there may be something that he’s hiding about his throat or he just knows he looks good in them. If your character has scars or tattoos or anything like that, this could be a good step to figure out where they came from. I definitely find this step the most useful for coming up with backstories and the like.

(A secret step to this that I find helpful is having a friend who you know will find the character super hot. Instant validation)

Things to keep in mind

the world - there are blogs and pinterest folders and all sorts of things based off of aesthetics! If you’re writing a western, you should keep an eye on western blogs! If you’re writing fantasy, keep an eye on @armthearmour and blogs of that ilk! Having a character that greatly clashes with the setting can work but it has to be shown as an oddity or you’re writing about space travel or something.

the story - If you’re writing an action/adventure story, having your character in a dress and heels doesn’t really make sense. Writing a story about the rise and fall of corporate life could be awkward if your lead always wears baggy lounge wear. Keep in mind what they’re going to be doing and the pros and cons of their outfitting for the setting.

the character’s aesthetics - What is your character like and what sort of things do they carry with them? Do they wear clothes that they should probably get in trouble for? Are they trying to distract or bring attention to something? Do they always wear the same color? Is there something sentimental that they always have with them?

the character’s job - My personal aesthetic does not pair well with my work uniform but I understand the importance of my work clothes (sometimes). The fact that I wear a button up, a name tag, and nice jeans makes it easier for customers to recognize me as an employee. Can I sneak some jewelry and as many skulls as possible into there? Not always. A character may not like what they have to wear, but that can tell us a lot about them and can come into play if they are working in the story.

3) Names - There are a lot of different ways to go about naming your characters.There are a million baby names sites and there’s also generators. Usually, by this point of the character creation I have an idea as to what I want their name to be, just from learning about them, but I often make my names up instead of going with realistic ones. If you’re making up names though, you have to make up everyone’s names, or most of them, otherwise it will be jarring every time your character’s name is said and can create a “spot the protagonist” situation. Since my character is a hitman, he needs both a name and a code name. Luckily the code name was super easy since all of the other guards that he’s blending with have animal code names so he became Jackal.

Remember that friend that thinks our character is hot? They can be super useful here. Come up with a couple names, for this guy I’m thinking.... Jack (duh), Jacopo, Raffaele, or Giorgio. And just like that he became Italian! That’s a new development! For the main character of the story Jackal is from I ran a poll on twitter and 15 out of 16 people voted for Anson, so that’s why I went with that for the main characters name!

4) Worksheets - I haven’t seen people use worksheets for their characters but when I was new to writing I filled out worksheets for my characters obsessively. I still do now, I guess, but without the actual form. They make you think of all these little details for your character, including their backstory! A worksheet can also be useful as a quick reference guide for your characters in the middle of the story if you forget the name of a spouse or of some location they’ve been. Here are a few worksheets to fill out if you find that useful! epiguide | novel software | freelance writing

5) Backstory - For this I would recommend working backwards. For Jackal here, I know that he’s a hitman, he’s nonverbal, he is terribly soft but that’s all hidden away, and he’s gay (of course). So I have to explain how he came to be these things or how he came to realize them. Most hitmen take on the job for economic reasons, so I have to figure out what the factors were for that. I’m going to go with a family member being terribly sick with no hope of recovery with the families current finances, which also explains his secret softness. He will kill, it’s business, he doesn’t see his targets as people as such since that will make it hard to complete a contract, but all of his money is going to the hospital and, if he has to deal with someone in a similar situation it may affect him differently. He’s nonverbal because (just researched this and I’m sorry if I’m wrong) he suffered some brain damage before he was born which affects his breathing. This leads to my decision that this damage occurred when his mother came down with the disease aforementioned and now I know that there are breathing problems involved with this form of nonverbalism which may come into play in the story. His being gay? Well, I don’t need to figure out how that came to be since that’s not how being gay works, but he probably realized that he was gay while on a job, falling, not for a target, but for an employer. And just like that I have a slightly cliche but still decent start to a backstory!

6) Asks - ask games, talking about your characters, and just open conversation can help you come up with minor details about your character. Yesterday I was asked what kind of candy my characters like and how they feel about Christmas in November. Will my characters celebrate Christmas in story or eat candy? Probably not but having to come up on the spot with an answer for these questions still taught me things about the characters. I learned that Anson loves nostalgia and has no interest in decorating for himself. And I learned that Jackal has very good control over his sugar intake, is more fond of bitter flavors, and is annoyed by the inequality of America’s Christian obsession. These are aspects of personality and those will effect the story more than what the actual answer to the question was will.

That’s a lot longer than intended! Hopefully me walking through my process for creating this character will be helpful for you! I know I know a lot more about this guy than I did before I started!

#tutorial #writing advice #character creation #original character #writeblr help #jackal

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 years ago

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Another set of responding to asks lol.. As usual I have them numbered and will also write out the ask in the text, especially since the screencaps are all blurry and taken at various times/compiled together badly and probably hard to read ghghhggh..... answers under the read more ~

-------------------------

1. "Hi I don't mean to bother you at all, but I was wondering where you get your rocking horse shoes? (I think thats what they're called) I've been looking everywhere and I can't seem to find any :(( "

I don’t entirely remember, since I got them like 6 or 7 years ago.. I think maybe at some point that place ‘bodyline’ or something had some cheap ones? But I don’t see them on the site anymore, they were like $50 or $60. Now when I google it I can only find these insane like $600 ones from vivian westwood or whoever, or ones that are platform shoes but not necessarily the same type. Maybe you could find some on aliexpress or ebay or something? Usually you have to use weirdly specific search terms and look for a while, but you can often find stuff like that on those sites. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help!!!

2. "I've been sick for over a month and my doctor tested me - everything came back fine. After some discussion it appears that my ptsd symptoms came back and the stress on my body is making me fatigued, sick and dizzy. I don't want to say that this could be similar to you situation, but if you have a therapist or someone to talk to about any stresses/your sickness, it might help relieve the pressure a bit. Good luck, I'm so sorry you feel so unwell"

Thank you for sharing! Yeah, I think stress definitely plays a part in why I feel sick so often. Currently I’m not still having the same problem I was having a few months ago when you sent this, so that’s good at least!!

3. “Hi! Do you plan to ever have more sculptures for sale? Or would you do commissions? I haven't seen any in a while but wanted to buy one! :-O”

I have plenty that I want to sell, I guess it’s just hard for me to get set up. Since so much of the reason I procrastinate selling stuff is because I hate the stress of deciding on a price, I’ve thought for a while now that maybe I can just auction them (so I just set a base price, but people bid whatever they feel is fair and I don’t have to decide myself). But I’m just not sure of a good way to do that.. Ebay has auctions, but I don’t want random strangers buying them, I’d rather stick to just the pool of people who follow my art blog and are already familiar with my sculptures or etc. I could do them on here ?? (like, ‘reply to this post to bid, bids close 8am EST, whoever said the highest number sends the money through paypal and then I send the sculpture’ sort of thing???) But I’m not sure if it’s legal to sell stuff through tumblr, or if there could be any other problems with doing it so ‘unofficially’ like that.. I don’t know, I have a vague idea, I’m just having trouble deciding the best way to set up something! I do want to sell some soon though, if I live through the pandemic and anything ever goes back to normal, of course (I wouldn’t want to be having to leave the house to ship stuff in the mail right now).

As for commissions, I have actually done sculpture commissions for friends a few times, so I feel confident-ish that I’d be able to do something like that, but I also wouldn’t want to get overwhelmed since it takes a lot of work. Custom sculptures may also be more expensive, and again.. I always feel guilty and strange about pricing. I’ve thought about doing very limited sculpture commissions though (like, maybe just one at a time, first come first serve or something..?). If it seems like there’s actual interest in that sort of thing, I could definitely consider doing it in the future!

4. " *picks up that smol blue kid and throws them across the room* "

ghgh .. the smallness is an advantage... they could just skitter back down your arm like a tiny squirrel the second you tried to pick them up.. Ythrili survival strategy is to be too small to catch in the first place

(also forgive every sketch in this post, my screen that you can draw on broke, so I’m either drawing stuff in ms paint with a mouse, or drawing stuff on paper and coloring it in firealpaca also with a mouse ghghh.. not going to look Good)

5. "it sounds like you feel pressure to only post good content on the internet, and so you end up psyching yourself out of posting at all. Am I on the right track? "

Not necessarily, like I mentioned in the tags I think it’s more just that everything is complicated by my brain. I can’t just do something effortlessly. Whether it’s for an audience or not, I get caught up on every little detail and adding so much complexity to everything that all tasks take me longer than they take other people lol. I think I just tend to take everything very seriously??

Like for example, I’m often accused of ‘turning things into a discussion’ when someone was just intending to make an off-handed remark, because if someone is bringing up a topic to discuss, I end up engaging with it 100% and putting full effort into it, and it’s hard for me to be ‘’casual’’ about pretty much anything (so if someone was like ‘My day yesterday was a bit weird’ I wouldn’t be able to just respond ‘aw man, that sucks’, I would just be like ‘Weird how? what happened? what made it weird? Are you okay now? Are things still weird? Have you found a solution?’ etc. etc.). I was also bad at essays/open answer questions in school (despite usually being great at the class otherwise), because no matter how hard I tried to filter my speech and cut things out, I was always far too long-winded and would get almost too engaged with the topic and lose the clear cut thought organization and focus that you’re supposed to have I guess. Even like, playing video games or something that’s supposed to be relaxing, I can’t just ‘jump into them’ and do whatever, usually any game I play (large ones at least, small 25 minute point and click adventure games don’t count of course), I have 7 - 10 pages of notes, do hours of research, look up most of the main spoilers, plan out and organize exactly how I’m going to play it and this and that, etc. lol...

So, that personality trait carries over into posting things online as well, I can’t just type something out quickly and hit ‘post’ without a second thought. Social media is hard for me because you’re supposed to use it casually, but I spend a long time re-reading drafted posts, thinking about them, etc. etc., and end up never actually getting around to posting anything. It’s not that I’m perfectionist about it and want it to be ‘good’ or appear a certain way, it’s just that my mind becomes preoccupied with things I guess. I’m a natural information gatherer, part of my natural way of processing things is to learn everything possible before acting, and I want to make sure I’ve fully thought about everything always, and know as much as I can (so I wouldn’t want to publicly say something without giving it a lot of consideration first, or post a picture without really thinking about if I want to post it, what my reasons behind posting it are (like if I’m posting something just for a validation of a certain aspect of myself VS. genuinely because I like it, etc.), if a few months from now I’ll still like that I posted it, etc. lol.. even with like silly cat photos or something, I have to analyze it and be like ‘hmm.. will I still stand by this picture in 4 months? why am I posting it publicly vs, just keeping it privately to myself on my computer? what’s important about it?’ etc. etc. ghgjhgjh.. like.. shut up lol.)

ANYWAY, yeah, I don’t know if it’s about wanting online content to be “good”, as much as it’s just like... I take everything way too seriously and am detail-oriented, contemplative, and analytical to a fault, which means it just takes me 10x longer to do basic ‘’simple’’ things that it would for other people. Though I can still be quite quick-thinking and decisive (I don’t often waver back and forth between things too long), it’s usually because I have years of thinking about the same exact things behind me, so I already am very clear on my opinions on stuff, to a point. But when it’s new things I’m less familiar with (like playing a new game, or posting regularly online), I’m still in a phase where I guess I have to give it a lot of thought. I just process things in a different way than other people I guess? Or have some inherent inability to be brief/concise/careless? If you’ve ever read any of my worldbuilding posts (where I usually start off wanting to explain one thing but then have to derail into 400 other misc. details and explanations and it ends up being a novel), then maybe it’s more evident what I mean, where it’s just like... my natural manner of speaking is Too Much.. I guess? Even this answer is winding and rambly, and I feel like other people could have answered this ask in only a few sentences lol..

If any of that makes sense? I don’t know how to describe how I am lol.. I just know it's hard to me to use social media in this ~~casual effortless~~ way most people seem to, since my brain is just inherently incapable of anything ‘’casual’’ or ‘’effortless’’ lol.. T u T ;;

6. " Hi! I hope this isn't weird to say, I'm designing a race for my DND campaign and some of the aesthetics are a little bit inspired by some of your costumes and makeup designs. You're awesome and your art is awesome so thanks : ) "

Thanks so much, I appreciate it! It’s always cool to hear I can inspire people~

(I usually don’t include many compliments in these ask compilation posts, but I always try to include a few, just to let people know that even if I don’t respond to all of them I do see them, and appreciate it!)

7. ???

I ended up cropping out this ask and not answering because some of the content was questionable (the reason WHY/how they wanted to make the character) in a way that I didn’t feel like getting into a long thing about, but part of it was relevant to making OCs in my world, so I will just make a quick comment:

I do state that this is a closed world, so I don’t want anyone making OCs of my species or etc. at least not at this point. Once my game is finished (if ever lol), or I write a few books or something, then I feel it would be understandable if people like, made up a background story for their player character and thus maybe could have some form of OC in my world and etc.. So I may be more relaxed on this in the future as I create content that people naturally would want to engage with , but for now, I’m still a very tiny creator with a closed world and it just doesn’t feel the same as like.. making an oc based on some thing in a big TV series or something. My worldbuliding and etc. is still very personal to me. Unless we’re directly collaborating on things (like mentioned here (link) a bit), or you’re a personal friend of mine who’s gotten involved in the world with my own guidance (meaning I could tell you lore things you’d need to know to make it accurate, etc.), then I don’t feel it’s appropriate for strangers to do at this point.

Especially since I don’t even have enough world info out for people to be able to reference (most species have half-complete guides, I’ve only ever talked about like, one continent, etc.). There are so many necessary details which I have only in my head and have never typed out, so again, idk, it’d just be weird. I’m not okay with it until I have a lot more lore published, and maybe a few actual works out there that people can reference/stories/games/basis for OCs to exist in the first place. If that makes sense?

8. "Hey, is it ok to use your outfit posts as inspiration for a dnd character? I love them so much, you have such a unique way of combining crazy patterns and fabrics into something that gives off a good vibe”

Yes, that would be fine! Thank you for asking, and I appreciate the compliments~ Hopefully I can get back to posting that sort of thing more often lol.. I’ve gotten WAY off my routine and haven’t done many outfits lately.. aaa

9. "hi Luca! i just wanted to say i really love all of your costumes and fashions and dress ups, its all so cool and pretty and interesting. i actually wanna dress up for fun for myself, and now that i know about the bins i think i'll try to convince my mom to take me to similar places for cheap clothing pieces, since my mom is worried about how much all this costume stuff costs. anyway, please keep posting your cool and beautiful stuff! "

Thank you so much! I wish you luck with your costumes! Yeah, I think there’s a common idea in a lot of fashion communities (like with makeup, costumes, etc.) that you have to always have high quality things to look nice, and even if sometimes you can do more with a little extra money, really you can make anything look good with what you have if you just combine it right. As I’ve always been quite low income, being into fashion and stuff has be discouraging at times, that I couldn’t afford certain materials or items, but you just have to find a niche where what you’re able to do works. For example, a lot of even ‘cheap’ lolita style clothings are too expensive for me (like $30 - $50 for a dress??? then the more pricey ones can be over $100???) lol.. BUT, then stuff like mori kei, cult party kei, fantasy costumes, etc. you can do with nearly any fabric you can find, and it’s still just as fun and creative. Most of the outfits I take pictures of probably cost me no more than $1 - $10 for every single item combined. Obviously it depends on location - I have better access now that I live near a place like the bins, which I understand there may not be similar resources in small towns or etc. But even with generic thrift stores (which may not be as cheap as the bins), you can still find pretty good alternatives to all the money it costs to buy things brand new. There’s still some stuff I legit just can’t do because I don’t have access to the materials, but for the most part I can manage everything I’d like with $3 eye-shadows and 15 cent tattered curtain fabrics lol. You can still do really cool stuff on a pretty nonexistent budget!

10. “do you have any tips on growing your hair long? is it expensive to up keep? i wanna grow mine out but it grows so slow!”

Well, I know nothing about hair and am not a hair stylist or etc. so I really don’t have any tips lol?? And I think hair maintenance depends a lot on the type of hair you have, not everyone’s is the same. I assume we must have similar hair (my natural hair is thick kind of coarse very dark brown/black hair, which is a bit wavy in some parts but mostly straight, but most of my hair currently (aside from the overgrown roots at the top) is altered because of damage from bleaching and etc., it’s more brittle. so that’s what I’ll be referencing) if you’re asking me this instead of someone else, but just know that whatever I say may not apply to you.

Anyway, I really don’t do anything to my hair to make it grow or etc., it’s just that I’ve gone a long time without cutting it lol. I used to cut it all the time or change styles, and now I’ve kind of just left it for 5 or 6 years or so. Because of my mental illness I have trouble maintaining personal care and etc., so I do sometimes go a week or more without washing it, even though I’m trying to work that into my schedule more (luckily I don’t have stinky head, I’ve heard some people’s scalp oils and stuff can smell weird if left for too long, I have the privilege of being able to like.. skip on hygiene a lot without it severely impacting my ability to do things or etc. since it’s usually not obvious if I haven’t bathed in a week or two).

My cat also EATS HUMAN HAIR for some reason, so I have to keep it up all the time, so that when I shed it doesn’t actually just fall loose onto the ground lol. Literally all I do to my hair is just keep it in two braids at all times and wash it with normal shampoo and conditioner occasionally, when I can. I really only think it’s gotten long because I’ve been leaving it alone and not messing with it, not really because of anything I’ve done (like I don’t use fancy products on it or etc.) And because of that, no, it’s not really expensive! It absolutely WOULD be if I were like..a normal functioning person and I regularly bleached it and dyed it and put products on it and styled it and used shampoo and conditioner every 1-3 days on it and etc. lol.. But I guess because I don’t do anything to it to maintain it, I’m not spending money on hairspray or dye or shampoo or etc. I used to bleach it a lot and straighten it and use hairspray and stuff on it, and it seems healthier (at least on the new top parts) now that I’m just ... ignoring it basically lol. But I don’t really know what to do to make it grow faster! I’m bad at self-care, and even if I do costumes and stuff, I really am not into beauty and hair and nails and makeup and stuff, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask hghjhb.. My upkeep routine is just... eat and sleep. wash face with water daily.. do extra stuff if you can manage to despite your functioning issues, etc. I’m definitely not a Beauty Advice person, I barely brush my hair even once a week lol

11. "Maybe you should reduce the number of races if it's too overwhelming? A world can still be immersive with only a few races in it."

(sidenote - Not to be nitpicky, but I make a specific point that the groups of fantasy creatures I create are species, not ‘’races’’, even though it is a commonly used term in fantasy worldbuilding, I think it’s inaccurate/weird )

I know I don’t have to make so many different groups, but, I guess I just really want it to be a broad setting. Part of the point in creating Nanyevimi (aside from worldbuilding just being extremely fun and a hobby greatly suited to someone with my personality traits lol) is to have an established world that I can do anything within, a framework already built where it'd be super easy to just drop a character anywhere on the map and already have an idea of what their culture, background, experiences, etc. would be based on pre-existing details about that portion of the world, etc. But I also want it to be broad, and varied, where every area kind of has it’s own dynamics going on there, so if you’re in a different place, you get a different kind of story. (like in an elven alliance city, you’d be better suited to tell an adventure story centering around complicated local politics, or city life, or etc.. whereas out in some isolated mountains in the south, it’d be more suited for a mystery story about stumbling across ancient ruins, or running into a mysterious traveler, etc.)

Which I guess doesn’t matter much, since I'm better at setting, world design, character design, planning, and details than I am at plot, so I probably won’t actually ever do anything with it (god forbid I tried to write a book or something with my utter inability to be concise/brief in any imaginable way). I can craft settings/characters/history/world-details all day endlessly, never losing inspiration or etc, but my weak point is actually telling stories within those settings and formulating a solid plan, organizing plot structures long term and etc.. Setting up everything for something to happen/creating a place where many interesting premises could occur is fine, but then actually thinking of how those things should OCCUR, or how the set up should play out, is where I get kind of lost. I guess the ideal at some point would be to have people working with me, helping when writing stories in my world/outlining games/etc, to add more cohesion/structure and reign in the unfocused stream of ideas, but that’s very unlikely since I don’t have any close friends that are good at organizing or plotting either, etc. BUT anyway, even if I can’t ever manage to do anything with it, the whole “having a setting I can use for anything I want if anything ever comes up, which is already established and thus makes it much easier to formulate ideas because all the background work is already done for myself” thing is at least a nice goal.. in concept...theoretically lol..

And, it’s not really too overwhelming, I think the overwhelming part is actually just formatting and producing those ideas in a consumable form. It’s not hard for me to keep track of 20 different groups and make backgrounds and every imaginable detail for them, but it IS hard to actually take all that information that exists in my head, type it out as a worldbuilding post, format and organize it, draw pictures to go with it, etc. If I could just post long stream of consciousness style 300,000 word long posts with no paragraph breaks, 4000 typos, barely any punctuation, etc., then I’d have A LOT more world-building info publicly available (since that’s what all the initial documents on my computer look like lol), but that’s just so inaccessible it’d be pointless to have public in the first place. The hard part isn’t really coming up with or managing the information, it’s just... organizing it all, and finding a way to share it.

12. "oh PLEASE tell me what boing peach beverage the elf looks like"

a quick sketch of them.. mysterious peach (and other produce) salesman

13. "fun question: what are ur fashion pet-peeves?"

Well, basically none because I hate when people are rigid over Fashion Rules or etc. Like, people who take pictures of others in public because they “look weird” , or who constantly trash on what people are allowed to wear, what patterns can be mixed with others, etc. etc. I get that some stuff can look kind of bad sometimes, and it’s not that I think nobody is allowed to criticize fashion trends or etc. (especially if they’re legitimately problematic, like of course someone wearing a homophobic t-shirt or doing blackface should be criticized), but I mean just like... that sort of trivial bitter criticism that doesn’t do anything but make people feel bad about the way they look or make them afraid to dress in ways they feel comfortable. Like taking a picture of someone and posting it online to make fun of them because they wore socks with sandals, or bullying 14 year olds who just started doing makeup and haven’t totally gotten their look sorted out yet, etc. etc. (ESPECIALLY since this can often intersect with classism, racism, etc. if you really examine what people mock as 'ugly' or 'unacceptable' styles, it's often stuff like men wearing dresses/makeup, women not shaving, clothing associated with poverty (like wearing “”cheap”” clothes), physical traits commonly associated with poc, making fun of people who look a certain way likely due to mental illness (like fidgeting, dirty mismatched clothing, carrying stuffed animals or comfort items in public etc.), etc. etc.

I find costumes and makeup and outfits to be a very cool and fun way to express myself. So when people are complete freaks about it and set out to just relentlessly make others feel bad for no good reason, it’s like... obnoxious... How can you take something with so much potential and limit it and close others off and turn it into this rigid hateful thing, when it should be something that everyone is able to be passionate about and appreciate?? Outside appearance isn't everything, but it's a tool of expression for so many people and can relate to who they are as a person, people should never feel uncomfortable to be who they are or look how they look just because some dumbass rich person writing for a style magazine has the gall to declare some random thing to be 'Unfashionable' despite not having a genuinely creative bone in their body, or some bigot thinks that certain things are ‘ugly’ or ‘unprofessional’ due to their own mental associations, etc.

But anyway, I guess if I had to choose a few things that I just think look kind of odd to me personally/are generally off-putting...

--- the overdrawing lips thing when you can see the persons actual lip-line and it almost looks like they have two mouths or something? (if not done intentionally for costume makeup). It can look a little strange to me sometimes, like an optical illusion where you see multiple mouth lines at once?? idk like this?

--- freckles that are just round circles and really heavy and don’t look realistic (though again, I also realize this could just be the person’s first time drawing them on or something and I’m not mocking for lack of skill, etc. I just mean that it’s a little strange to look at, not actually BAD though) (and it can also be intentional, like for a cartoony costume look) ---- People adopting cutesy/childlike fashion and clothing and sexualizing it or using it as part of their sex/kink stuff.. I just feel like anything associated with children should not be sexualized..? If the first thing someone thinks when seeing children's school uniforms or frilly little girl’s doll dresses or whatever is that it could be a Hot Thing then hhh... like why is your brain making those connections lol.. People can dress how they want for whatever reasons they want, but that’s always personally creeped me out a little. Similar to our culture’s obsession with looking young being ‘hot’ (like a grown man wanting someone who’s a legal adult but still “looks 16″ or etc.), where it’s like.. okay, I guess yeah outwardly you can make that choice, and maybe aren’t directly causing harm, but.. the underlying tones of it and etc. still make it very unsettling to witness lol... ---- anything appropriated obviously, as well as fetishization or bastardization of cultures, like t-shirts with Japanese writing on them Just For Aesthetic, or taking certain culturally or religiously significant symbols or etc. and adopting them as ‘just a silly fashion’ thing when you’re actually being disrespectful, etc. ---- those shorts or whatever that go up extremely high on the hipbones always look a little weird to me lol, like they give a person funny proportions,

(you may have to right click open image in new window and zoom to see the text, but it’s like.. the blank space makes it look kind of weird to me? Like there’s too much where there’s just nothing going on? idk. That’s just my personal preference though, obviously I tend to lean towards busy designs lol)

That’s all I can think of though, like I said, I’m really not picky or judgy about fashion since I think people should be able to do whatever they want for the most part. I’m not like a “omg stripes should NEVER be worn with plaid!!” type person or something lol.

14. "Hey Luca! I love when you post about your world. Do you have a favorite species you've made up so far? Also, I hope you're holding up well during the crisis!"

AAaa thanks! I’m okay mostly. It’s distressing since because of my particular mental illness I already have constant paranoia and obsessions about health, so of course hearing about so much illness can be really triggering constantly and I’m preoccupied in never-ending anxiety spirals about mortality and etc. etc. etc. , but situationally, I’m just very thankful that nobody in my household has gotten sick yet and I desperately wish that will continue to be the case. *** *** ***

(ignore the *** *** *** , this is a text version of a physical compulsion (a hand movement) that I have to do when I mention certain topics lol.. the little man in my brain that controls my obsessive compulsive disorder says I must do certain things after saying or thinking certain things,, You Know How It Is )

And I really love worldbuilding questions, so thank you so much!!!!! Hghgh maybe it seems weird to favor any over the others, but of course I really like the Avirre'thel. Conceptually, I think their origin story and connection to ancient elves and their abilities and etc. put them in a really unique position in the broader world (some of the only truly immortal people to exist, the only people who can still decipher ancient elven texts in a way that makes sense, etc. etc.). Since Nanyevimi (my world) is really just a setting being built so that in the future I can set things within it (games, short stories, etc.), I think I'm drawn to the aspects of it that have the most potential to make interesting characters, and there are definitely a lot of pre-established dynamics with the Avirre'thel/in Navyete (their home country) as a whole that would make it an good place to set certain things, or a good group for a main character to be from, etc.

I do really like the Jhevona as a species overall too, even if I haven't developed them as much, they also kind of stand out as having some fairly unique features that put them in an interesting position in the world (being one of the most magically capable groups that exists but that also having downsides (health issues and infertility from magic exposure, etc.), how the necessity to keep control over their magic influences their culture, being some of the only natural shape-shifters, etc.). Within that, I REALLY love the Thastanri (a subspecies of Jhevona), like their connection to dreams, the Imkasyn, being one of the last few peoples in contact with real dragons, etc. etc. There are a lot of complex things going on in their area, so there’d be a lot of potential to tell a variety of stories or have interesting characters from that group.

AND, though it's supposed to be Unknown in the world so I won't talk about it just in case I ever write a book one day or something and need to preserve at least a FEW mysteries that I don't just outright explain in worldbuilding posts, Jhevona do have the most interesting origins of any species in my opinion. There are some things from before the timeline break sort of thing (where all recorded history was seemingly wiped and everyone had a big memory loss about 50,000 yrs ago) that people aren't aware of anymore... but Jhevona used to have a cool backstory and quite interesting function in society prior to that. There are some remnants in the genetics of the species and how their magic works (at least for certain groups) that kind of hint at how ancient Jhevona used to look and what they used to do, even though in the modern day things are very different.

15. "Top 10 songs you've been listening to lately?"

I don’t have a top 10 since I listen to everything for different reasons, and don’t have as deep a relationship with music the way some people do (like I don’t really have a favorite band or group I have a connection with that’s “gotten me through hard times”, or music I cry to/any songs that are specifically personally emotionally meaningful to me, etc., etc.), but here’s a quick playlist of a few favorite-ish things I’ve had in my head a lot recently -

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPmQ4SZdFFHNkgKo7nAiEMgVvLcycX5Qc

the last song on the list specifically I’ve been replaying a lot for some reason, I guess since it’s good background music as there’s no words. Particularly the part that starts around like 38 seconds in, something about that melody reminds me of something distant, in a dreamlike way. The past few days I mostly alternate between that song, Outstanding, and And The Beat Goes On lol

16. " Do you ever sell sculptures? I really like that little fawn!"

Yeah, I hope to eventually! Like I mentioned in question number three, if I can set up some sort of way to do auctions or etc, then maybe I can sell that one!

17 & 18 : '"aaa yay!! i missed your outfits!!!" / "can I just say love ur outfits! They're so cool and inspire me to draw my ocs with new outfits > o < and I love your cat too, please give him a big ol pat!"

Thank you!!!! more compliments posted just to show I appreciate them lol, even if I don’t publicly respond to every one~ And, the Boyes appreciate the pats.. here is them.. big babbeys...

#it bothers me still that I didn't take all the screenshots the same way and there's different colors of nu #mbers and etc. lol.... but some of those are from 4 months ago or more and I had already deleted the original ask #from my inbox so I can't go rescreencap it to match the others..#this is the issue inherent in taking so long to answer things that I just respond in large batches lol #replies #okay also I know it's been months but... one of you has to like this post or at least show you read/interacted with my #response somehow because I cannot spend like 4-5 hours typing stuff for others if nobody will read it ghghg #( i know i make it take longer by being rambly and etc. but.. still...)#I'm sorry they sat in my inbox a long time and etc. but... also..... my pwecious time and effort #i hope at least one of the people I'm responding to sees that i did indeed reply to them lol

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citroentje · 6 years ago

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A big note on self love

For the last six months, I’ve been travelling to Australia to work on myself. When I booked the flight, I had just quit my job. It wasn’t just the job itself that I hated, it was the entire industry I was in. Marketing felt unethical, capitalistic and very empty. It’s total bullshit. When I booked the flight, I never really felt at home in my apartment. On my own, above a fucking bar, in a big city. When I booked the flight, I just turned 24 and I still hadn’t been kissed, which caused a lot of self-hate and doubt. I expected to get my first kiss when I was 14, not ten years later. And to top it all off: when I booked the flight, I just turned 24, and I wasn’t able to celebrate my birthday because I didn’t have any friends anymore to invite.

All those pillars that usually build your life (work, friends, love life, hobbies, a home); I saw them all crumbling down. All at the same time, right before my eyes. I got very depressed and I cried every day. It felt like the ticket to Australia was the only light at the end of the tunnel.

During my travels, I had a lot of time to think about those pillars. What was it that needed to change? What were the aspects that I did like about my job? What did I miss in my apartment? How could I possibly make new friends?

Yesterday, I got back home. I feel like I found a sense of direction for most of those pillars. But I realized that the biggest thing that needs to change is me. When I talked about myself to other people, I noticed how insecure and negative my words were. I used to hate it when people preached about self love, and to some extent, I still do. It’s great that you love yourself, but don’t shove it down my troat. However, I learned that self love is not the same as narcissism. And I sure as hell could use some of it.

Below are some personal insights, some of which might help you too.

SOME PERSONAL INSIGHTS

Job

When it comes to my job, I think I might want to become a jeweller. Because the more I thought about it, the more sense it seemed to make.

- First of all: making jewellery is very creative, and that’s what I really want to do with my life. To work with my hands and create something new and beautiful and luxurious. - Jewellery can be very meaningful. I would love to make the rings for your wedding, design a personal necklace or fix your beloved grandfathers watch. - It’s sustainable, especially when you compare it to cheap fashion or technology. People don’t throw away their silver and gold. - Jewellery is gonna stay, especially if the rich keep getting richer. Also, people will never ever buy their wedding rings at H&M. So hopefully I won’t have to worry about the robots taking over. - I can be my own boss and not have to deal with managers, consultants or stupid ass meetings anymore to not talk about stuff I don’t care about. - Yes, becoming a jeweller is way below my intelligence and education. Try to get over it.

Home

- I need roommates. I hated the quiet house and lack of contact with my neighbours. - I need to live somewhere close to nature. I want to be able to walk in the park, go to the beach or cycle in a forest. - Speaking of which, I want flowers in my house. - And music. I always forget to turn on the radio.

Friends + Love Life

These are the ones I found to be most difficult. Even in Australia, where you meet new backpackers every single day, it’s hard to find friends that will actually stick around. But I do have some ideas:

- Find a teamsport. Yoga was all fun and games but there were not a lot of bonding or common goals involved. - Same with hobbies. - Make a habit of sharing your food. Free cupcakes every Monday morning or something. Everybody loves food. - Literally ask for it. If you have a single friend who is very social, ask him/her if he/she knows anyone else that might fit you. - Go to places where you can easily meet new people. Book a few days in a hostel for no good reason. Look for activities and festivals in your area. Be open when doing so. - Anyone is a possible friend. Don’t write people off too soon. - Superficial relationship are relationships too. Small talk is talk too. - What is it that you like about your friends? Is it their intelligence, their humour, their care, their selfconfidance? You might want to look for that in new relationships too.

Self love

- You may not even believe in it, but count your good karma. Is it simply very fortunate that the sun shines on your birthday, or did you do something to deserve it? It helps you to count your blessings and take some credit for it too. - Your brain loves change. Redecorate your room, visit a new city and look for anything that stimulates your brain, like a museum or street art. Break your patterns: eat something different for breakfast or take another route to work. New stuff makes your brain very happy. - Search for transcendentic experiences. Look at the stars and feel small. Watch the sunset and feel connected to the universe. See a skeleton of a dinosaur and ponder how old the Earth is. Think about that time when you were in a limestone cave/cathedral and they played an acapella version of Hallelujah in the dark and for a full second you believed God existed. If it makes you quiet, it’s probably working. - Take self love seriously. Look for blogs, videos, apps and write about it. If you want to change, it really starts with your mindset and beliefs. If you don’t believe in it, it won’t work. - After that: practice, practice, practice. If you want to be more social, try to speak up every now and then. If you want to be more cuddly, try to touch people a bit more often. Practice makes perfect. - Meditate and use self hypnosis. Again, if you don’t believe it’ll work, it sure as hell won’t. All hail the placebo effect. - Write down what’s awesome about you. Writing about self love is not narcisissm. It’s about making your thoughts more graspable. - Be creative. Put your feelings into a piece of art and look for inspiration, like visiting a museum or looking at street art. - Last but not least the cliché stuff: turn on music, wander around nature, find a new hobby, blah blah blah.

#self love #positivity tips #self love tips #healing #healing tips #self worth #self love blog #positive #positive thinking #positive vibes

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kaelin-bct-blog · 6 years ago

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Data Objects - All By Myself

I left the group and decided to focus on my own interpretation of our assessment. Leaving so late in the project may have been a risk but it is one I am satisfied with. During my time working with the others my biggest struggle was gaining motivation to work on something I was not particularly interested in. It's not that we had a bad concept it was a combination of it being about something I had little personal interest in and a lack of chemistry amongst our group members. Initially, as I mentioned before, the idea was to spread our group into working on several objects that would tie into each other which was logical due to the size of our group. Unfortunately, this proved very ambitious, as we had a tenuous grasp of the concept of a data object at best. If we had a better understanding of what kinds of data set would translate effectively things might have been easier. After a few days of searching for the right data we found ourselves falling behind other groups, and decided instead to focus on a singular topic with more readily available data that would be hopefully more straightforward in mapping it to a garment. Perhaps our determination to use clothing as the object blinded us to other avenues of exploration and design, regardless we gave in to our tunnel vision.

We started work on a shirt that would provide a physical interaction based on our data. The data was oriented around the Body Mass Index, and we were going to try to create a garment that would loosen or tighten based on that data. We got conflicting reactions from several lecturers, in fact so conflicting (as in completely opposite) that I was personally left pretty confused and ultimately hopeless. I did not understand the purpose of this assessment, and almost every idea that popped into our collective heads seemed to be simply another bar graph or pie chart plastered onto some normal boring object. It felt like we were taking two very incompatible things and simply ramming them together like a child pretending to make their toys fight until something bloody clicked.

Spoiler alert, it didn’t.

So we tried to reorganize and breathe some life into our group, start fresh and continue ramming things together making various forms of onomatopoeia but THIS time we’d do it right. We had a pretty good plan to be fair, we split into smaller teams of roughly two to three, each focused on a specific aspect of human health in relation to fast food diets. Keeping in line with at least an element of our original statement of intent, and helping divide the work into smaller packages. One group would focus on the mental health complications, another on skin and libido issues and myself and several others on various diseases such as diabetes associated with a poor diet. We would then attempt to design a garment for each of these data sets, creating an outfit to communicate the effects of junk food on the human body. So while this all felt very organized and had a taste that resembled progress it very quickly proved to be naught but a taste. Again I believe this was simply my lack of interest as I did more research. Not only that but it turns out medical datasets to do with diabetes risk factors in people with poor diets are designed for medical professionals (funny that) and as a result were pretty much impossible to understand.

So I gave up. Yes, you read that correctly. I stared into the mirror and mouthed the letter ‘F’ for a while till I got bored of that too.

Then it struck me, why don’t I just do something I find interesting and fun? That was my focus from the very beginning, I knew everyone would jump on the depressing and serious issues bus as soon as we started this project. That is why I had made a silent oath to myself to do something that didn’t make me incredibly sad the minute I tried to work on it. And I want to be clear that although I may sound like I’m making fun of those serious subjects, I am not. Laughing at the fact that many people jumped on the same incredibly sad datasets does not remove from the seriousness of the data itself and why people chose those datasets. Moving on.

So I went back to good ol’ video games. And boy am I glad I did. It turns out being interested in the thing the numbers relate to makes the numbers less mind-numbing and allows the brain to actually think about what to do with the numbers. I scrawled through some interesting sites and found a data set that grabbed my attention, highest number of players in a game in a one hour period. This inspired me to track down where the figure came from, and of course, I ended up at Steam. Steam for those who are unaware is a very popular marketplace for games on PC, probably the biggest in the world. It has various other things like forums, guides, achievements, chat rooms and any number of gaming peripherals (software based) and is thus probably one of the biggest gaming communities on earth. It also helps that the company that runs it, Valve, keeps track of pretty much every statistic involving games and player bases that it gives to the public for free. I felt like I had struck the most obvious vein of gold in the world. Now for an object.

The fact that the first statistic that caught my eye was the fact that Player Unkown’s Battlegrounds had three million players on in one hour came to mind. What exactly was it about that fact that made it so impressive? Well, I believe it was the time frame. Three million is not exactly a large number in our day and age, especially in relation to the internet and video games. The fact that we managed to have three million human beings in one tiny online world that makes up an impossibly small sliver of cyberspace real estate in the same hour is fairly mind-boggling. Every time I try imagining it I see the Tron equivalent of New York. I understand that this image isn’t accurate or even relevant, but it's what gave me some scope as to why it was so cool. If you want a practical or marketable reason (I don’t know why you would, they always suck the soul out of cool stuff) as to why this is important, it's very simple. Three million people passing through a single digital space is basically a license to print money in our modern economy. You could potentially advertise to just under the population of Los Angeles in one hour. So there, practical reason tacked on to the fact that this is simply a cool statistic. Not only that, but this to me is one of the biggest harbingers of what is to come. If you’ve read Neal Stephenson’s ‘Snowcrash’ you might understand why this makes me so excited. If you haven’t, please go read it then come finish reading this.

So this was why I decided to see if I could map the peak player populations of the biggest video games on Steam to an analog clock. Not only that but I find something vaguely entertaining in the irony of using analog to symbolize the fact that we are so deeply into digital it's not even funny.

I have two prototypes and my final product all done. The first prototype involved taking the top four game populations at the respective peaks they reached and mapping them to four sections of the clock. For example, I mapped the population of Player Unknown’s Battlegrounds (PubG) between numbers twelve to three on the clock. I took the peak population (3,227,432) and divided it by four. I then took that result and listed it at the number twelve, then doubled it and put that at the one hour mark, then tripled it and so on. This means that on the clock the population starts at a quarter of its total and over the course of four hours reaches its peak. This is done with four games in total, PubG, DOTA 2, Counter-Strike: Global Offensive and Fallout 4.

The issues with this prototype were that it was very simple, there was little more to it than a pie chart in my mind. I wanted the population distribution growing by the hour to help communicate how massive these figures were, to truly get across the significance of this kind of population growth in such a short time. So how could I add complexity to this design, avoid the pie chart aspect while still showing multiple game populations and the significance of their size?

The second prototype used a different method of mapping the data. I decided to use the hands themselves and the way in which they moved to map the data. So, in this case, the second hand would go from a lower number and work it's way around the clock until one minute had passed. On the minute mark (once returning to its starting point) it would have reached the full peak player population figure. This would be repeated with the minute and hour hands, each one representing a player population. This meant that I lost one population figure as there are only three hands. However I think there is something sleeker about the top three populations being mapped, it is generally how we rank competitions so it was fitting that three would have to do. I followed a similar principle to the first prototype, dividing the final population figures by sixty for the second and minute hands and by twelve for the hour hand. I knew that I would not be able to fit sixty different figures on the clock face though, so I placed a figure on the twelve, three, six and nine hour marks. This would allow for an easy enough distribution while still retaining a good sense of how massive these populations could be. There were three sets of figures on each of these hour marks, which got a little difficult to read in some cases. Not only that but I had not realized that placement of the numbers would not clearly show which hand was relevant to which number. I liked the idea of using the turning of the hands themselves, it made sense to utilize the primary mechanics of my chosen object to display my dataset. The issue was making it clear how the mechanics of the clock would ‘point’ to the appropriate data.

With the final step in creating my object, I decided to use the same method as my second prototype, but in this case I created a key to label which number was represented by which hand on the clock itself. They also happen to be colour coded in order to help make it more clear which number relates to which player population by video game. As simplistic as the design has remained I am satisfied that it breaks down a large number that can be easily glossed over without understanding its significance, and by causing a person to have to see as it gradually gets to the final figure it highlights just how large these numbers are.

#ctec501 #dataobjects

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