#I think it would just manifest differently

[youremyheaven]

Jupiter & Rahu Influence Among Popstars

When I look at pop-stars across industries, I have noticed them all often having the same planetary influence showing up one way or another (usually nakshatra's ruling planet but less often, rashi lord as well).

Now, lets look at what or who a "pop-star" is. The simplest definition is that "a pop-star is a highly successful singer of pop music". Some would say that being a pop-star is the pinnacle of fame. They are at the very top of the entertainment industry food chain.

Actors pretend to be other people for a living but a pop-star is one who has to pretend to be an exaggerated version of themselves for a living. Most pop-stars have an alter ego or stage persona that they project, sometimes these alter egos have different names, other times they don't.

If you think about it, being exalted to the status of a superstar, akin to a God or deity and being adored, worshipped and obsessed over by millions of people, for being "you" is a bit bizarre in itself. Actors spend months making movies and playing a character, someone singing and dancing on stage and "being" themselves sounds simpler even though, in truth, it is a much harder job. If your full time job was being an exaggerated version of you, you'd struggle immensely with your sense of self. Most people would have some kind of breakdown, being unable to distinguish between what is "really" them and what belongs to the persona.

I'm by no means suggesting that Jupiter influenced people are exempt from having an identity crisis. In fact, I would say its the opposite. I think due to the expansive and boundless nature of Jupiter, which has a tendency to exaggerate the effects of whatever it touches, most Jupiter natives kind of permanently live in a state of "in-between-ness" , this feeling of being stuck in limbo is reflected in how each Jupiter ruled nakshatra falls between two rashis, one air and another water.

Punarvasu- Gemini & Cancer

Vishaka- Libra & Scorpio

Purvabhadrapada- Aquarius & Pisces

These 2 elements are very different from one another, Air element is typically associated with the intellect and ideas, whereas the Water element is associated with emotions, spirituality, wisdom etc. So, Jupiter, the planet of luck and abundance, the "Guru" (teacher) is one that is "well rounded" in the sense that it is both practical as well as spiritual and emotional. This also insinuates that, in order to amass abundance and be fortunate in life, one has to have a mixture of opposite qualities and be "well rounded". Duality is an innate theme of Jupiter, and whilst many think of duality as having opposite qualities, its wiser to think of Jupiter as the union of opposites. Light and dark, good and evil, feminine and masculine, peace and violence, love and hatred, all co-exist together here. Due to the scholarly "Guru" nature of Jupiter, it becomes the duty of its native to rise above the lower manifestations of these energies and embody the principled nature of it. In this sense, its not just the "meeting" of good and evil but the triumph of good over evil.

I had already explored in a previous post about how having an alter ego/multiple identities is kind of a Jupiter thing. Most Jupiter influenced individuals majorly struggle with their identity simply because they feel like they're "all things" and this sort of commercial marketing of "aesthetics" and "niches" is very limiting. They're all things, all at once. This can be disorienting for others who struggle with their identity for other reasons (Nodals who struggle with over-attachment and detachment, Malefic gworls who don't have very many hobbies/interests/passions to base their personality off of). Its hard to explain what "being everything" is like to people who don't have a sense of self/reality to begin with, or those who have a very narrow or rigid understanding of themselves. We're familiar with Rahu mania but Jupiter mania often flies under the radar because they seem so put together on the outside, unlike Rahuvians who wear their madness on their sleeve.

Most people would have a tough time figuring out how a Jupiter native actually felt or if they were going through something in their personal life because they're usually stoic af and very well kept. Their world could be falling apart but they will never lose their etiquette or their manners. This can lead to scenarios where they're either not given adequate consideration for their suffering because they dont "look/seem" like they're going through it OR people tear them apart for seeming too "cold/nonchalant" even in the face of crisis. People like to see vulnerability because it makes others more humane and relatable and sometimes the stoicism of Jupiter natives can irk others because it makes them seem robotic or beyond human.

How does all of this tie into Jupiter being the most common planetary influence among pop-stars?

I had already mentioned that pop-stars are idolized for simply existing. Having the expansive energy of Jupiter helps one become a vessel for the projections of others. You can be anything or anyone to everyone. I have observed Jupiter influenced individuals code switching irl, in the sense that they have an entirely different personality depending on who they're interacting with and usually have several different friend groups that have nothing remotely in common with each other.

Many anons have mentioned dating Jupiter men who seem very sweet and giving and then being mindblown when they turn out to be insane party animals who smoke and drink till they drop and go batshit insane at the club. They seem too "goody two shoes"-y to be about that life, yet they are.

Being a performer/pop-star seems to suit Jupiter natives because it gives them an outlet to channel their manyyyy sides. Even their alter egos have alter egos and if they had to live normal lives, it would kinda drive them crazy unless they found some phenomenal ways to compartmentalize all that stuff. Not to rely on anecdotal evidence (I'll cite more "celebrity" examples after this) but there's a guy I know whose chart is heavily Jupiter influenced and he is the most responsible family man ever and provides for his whole family but he is also extremely passionate about weed, does not say no to a drink and LOVES to party. He lives in an apartment complex with a lot of people our age and mf is always at someone's house party 😭😭 I am in no way implying that these things CANNOT co-exist, that you can't both be a hardworking family guy who looks after everyone AND drown yourself in booze but typically the kind of person you associate with one kinda lifestyle is not who you associate with the other, if ykwim

There are many examples of these "contradictions"

Miley Cyrus, Vishaka Moon

She is known for her wild, freaky stage performances and her no-nonsense personality but beyond all that, Miley is a homebody who has a gazillion animals and lives a very "simple" (or simple, for a celebrity anyway) life.

Beyonce, Vishaka Moon

Beyond all her glamour, Bey is veryyyy lowkey and raises honeybees in her backyard and harvests her own honey. She's very spiritual and is all about her family and minding her own business. I know this isn't news to anyone but isn't it interesting how the biggest pop-star of our time, known for her fierce performances and larger than life persona, is actually a tradwife? A proper Southern lady, if you will.

Jennie, Vishaka Moon

In a recent interview, she said:

"Anyone who meets me will say I’m so far from what I represent as me onstage...it's a part of me , a switch inside of me that I can just click.”

(This is SOOO Jupiter coded of her)

Jennie's friend Deb Never described her as:

“She’s shy and really humble and very sweet,” she says. “And then as soon as it comes to music and how she performs, it’s this flip side, this opposite person where it’s like in your face and very outspoken. It’s not like she’s acting. It’s being able to let out a whole other side of you that you don’t get to in real life. There’s a vulnerability in that.”

I had mentioned a few times previously about how Jupiter and Rahu's energies can be veryyyy similar. Jupiter has more structure and can keep the mania and obsession under wraps a bit more than the average Rahuvian (Jupiter is a benefic, Rahu is a malefic, so the limitless energies are channelled in more "beneficial" ways by a Jupiterean and in less beneficial ways by a Rahuvian). Looking at the charts of entertainers who were/are highly successful, the Jupiter + Rahu influence recurring is crazyyyy.

Frank Sinatra is considered one of the earliest pop-stars. He is a Shatabhisha Moon.

Elvis Presley, Shatabhisha Moon

Aretha Franklin, Punarvasu Moon, Vishaka Rising

Billy Joel, Punarvasu Rising

Michael Jackson, Shatabhisha/Purvabhadrapada Moon

I am not trying to imply that people without Jupiter influence can't be pop-stars, they can!! But when they aren't Jupiter influenced, they're usually Nodal

Mariah Carey, Punarvasu Moon

Whitney Houston, Shatabhisha Rising

Celine Dion, Venus atmakaraka in Purvabhadrapada and Mercury amatyakaraka in Purvabhadrapada

Taylor Swift, Ardra Moon

Diana Ross, Vishaka Rising

Eric Clapton, Swati Moon

The shapeshifting ability of these natives is what allows them to flourish in an industry where you're essentially selling yourself as a product.

Adele, Ardra Rising

Lady Gaga, Swati Moon

Ariana Grande, Ardra Sun

Rihanna, Shatabhisha Sun

Dua Lipa, Ardra/Punarvasu Moon

Katy Perry, Swati Sun/Mercury/Rising and Vishaka Moon

Billie Eilish, Purvabhadrapada Rising

Shakira, Punarvasu Moon

Lana Del Rey, Ardra Sun, Vishaka Rising

Halsey, Punarvasu Moon & Mars, Vishaka stellium (Venus/Jup/Rahu) and Swati Mercury conjunct Rising

Janet Jackson, Ketu conjunct Rising in Vishaka

Lorde, Vishaka Sun & Mercury

Sabrina Carpenter, Purvabhadrapada Moon & Rising (she's also Bharani Sun and that's why she's an it girl)

Chappell Roan, Shatabhisha Sun/Jupiter/Ketu

Charli XcX- Ardra Rising

[peachesofteal]

Hi Peach, I’m a long time reader and I just love all your stories and watching how they unfold.

I just wanted to ask quickly if you had thought about writing something under the same wavelength of Simple Math or Dead Disco, like with an anxious or shy reader, but with Kyle and John together?

Would they react and treat reader in the same way Johnny and Simon do? Or would it be different?

I know you’ve got a few stories on the go so if not it’s all cool, feel free to ignore this ask. :)

Also can I just say I love when stories link to their titles and the way your wrote it in simple math, just perfect. I can’t wait to see where this goes but I’m so nervous for Bun it’s not gonna be easy, but at least she has Johnny and Simon this time! 🩷

I actually love this and shelved it for possible future things. I can tell you 1. The daddy kink would be out of control and 2. Reader would be the most weepy bundle of anxiety. Work from home baby that is too nervous in the grocery store or on public transit. Doesn’t like when strangers talk to her. Can’t take herself to doctor’s appointments. Loves yoga but can only go to the studio when Kyle takes her. Manages fine when they’re gone though, reads and cooks and gets her groceries delivered, keeps the flat clean and enjoys her routines. Has a cat (loves Kyle but hates John because he’s always shooing her away) that keeps her company. She does fine on her own, well even, but it’s nothing compared to her life when they’re fully in it.

I think at home when Kyle is out of his expertise, his element, the place where he thrives, he also starts to develop some anxiety that manifests in a desire for control, which John allows, to an extent. John carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and instead of coming to bed, he sits on the back patio and smokes a cigar to the end until one of them comes outside to curl up in his lap or rest their head on his thigh. Dead Disco very much revolved around Darling, and I think this dynamic would be different. Everyone would need a little bit of personalized care.

Also thank you! I love working the titles in 🩵

[somewhere-in-the-rain]

SPOILERS FOR FOURTH WING AND IRON FLAME

One of the most (if not the most) popular theories about Violet’s second signet is that she is a truth-sayer. I see this everywhere, and so many people are convinced it’s correct.

Although I can absolutely see why people think this—there is so much evidence—I just don’t like the idea of Violet being a truth-sayer for a couple of reasons.

The main reason a lot of people believe in this theory is that Xaden repeatedly says stuff like “I can’t lie to you” to Violet in the books. First of all, he does this at least twice in Fourth Wing, when Violet’s second signet has not yet manifested, which makes this either crap foreshadowing or irrelevant to the second signet.

Related to the whole “I can’t like to you” thing, I really hate the idea that the only reason for this is because Xaden physically can’t lie to her, rather than because he’s in love with her and in a relationship with her and so shouldn’t lie to her in the first place. Personally, I would much rather interpret this as “I am ridiculously in love with you and the idea of deceiving you is so abhorrent I’m incapable of doing it”.

This is my biggest counter argument to this point so if you don’t read the rest of the post, please read this: Xaden being incapable of lying to Violet is just not how the truth-sayer signet works. We have already seen an example of one truth-sayer in the books: Nora, Varrish’s lackey. The way her signet works is that she can detect lies, not prevent them from being told, so Xaden being unable to lie to her is not a side effect of her signet.

This leads me neatly on to my next point: Nora helped Varrish do despicable things to Violet, helped torture information out of her and keep her prisoner under Basgiath. I just detest the idea that Violet would have the same signet as her, and I’m pretty sure Violet would too.

Overall, I don’t like this theory for so many reasons, more than that I just don’t believe in it. Personally, I think there are so many other more convincing theories out there for different second signets.

[creatingblackcharacters]

I want to submit Felix from Cassette Beasts! It's a monster-collecting indie game where people, ideas, concepts, characters, and stories from different time periods and realities can end up/physically manifest.

Felix is my favorite companion. He's a zote artist and comes from a world where comic books don't exist. He quit his job and went freelance, because he got fed up working under shitty bosses who never recognized him. Which... really hits home when you're also a fellow creative.

His questline is my favorite. You and Felix encounter his ninja-half angel-half demon-purple-cat girl OC, Kuneko, that he made when he was 12... except Kuneko has become her own character and is desperate to prove herself so that Felix won't find her embarrassing anymore.

Beyond the hilarity and relatability, it's really interesting how his questline involves creator-meets-creation; dealing with the overall lore of how concepts can come to be. Seeing Felix come to accept and love his past works, recognizing they're all a part of who he is today. It was just... touching.

He's a sweetheart dork (who makes you his MUSE) and I still haven't "finished" the game, because I don't want to part with him just yet.

Also, look at his blushing face:

God he looks like he gives great hugs. Omg his lil cheeks. I'll forgive him the Killmonger look this time. What's a zote? Shit, I think everybody who works a job can recognize shitty bosses who don't give them credit 😭

Okay first I'm cackling at the drawing bc I thought you dropped the wrong pic for a second 🤣 why is Kuneko so accurate?? 🤣🤣 This wasn't my first reaction but it's at the top bc it sent me. Okay. Aww wait, you said she's trying to gain his pride 😭 oh now I feel bad for laughing. I'm sure she's a sweetheart.

Felix actually reminds me of Hot Chocolate! Like, if I had to draw his face in this style, it would look like this, but with longer locs and a mustache.

[menlove]

do you have any girl!mclennon hcs? like how they'd do their hair, how they'd dress, their relationship etc etc

LESBIAN MCLENNON I LOVE YOUUUUU. have a dump. i think about them constantly.

in my mind (at least when they're younger), paul would look like shauna shipman (the character not the actress bc the actress is blonde w blue eyes lmfao) while john i could see being played by rachel sennott

i think i've mentioned this before but paul's first name is definitely mary. pauline is probably her middle name and she just goes by paul. john's harder i've given this thought before but never landed on one, but she still goes by john bc i say so

paul before meeting john is definitely trying to fit into the mold of nice 50s teenage girl- hoop skirts, ponytails, cardigans. when she starts getting more into rock she WANTS to dress differently but doesn't until john talks her into it and then it's leather jackets and drainies still. john just never conformed she wouldn't give a fuck about it

they'd both be in really interesting situations! because paul here is the Oldest Girl after her mom died. so moreso than in real life, the brunt of expectation & household management would get shoved on her, especially with jim out gambling and drinking. similarly, mimi would be driven to insanity with john because she's nowhere NEAR how she thinks she should be and she also sort of sees her as julia 2.0 and she's petrified for her

i think they're probably a lot more physically affectionate bc how casual homophobia between women manifests vs w men is very different, so they're allowed to sort of hang off each other as long as it doesn't Get Weird. and it does certainly get weird with them, they get called dykes more than a few times

i think paul would more readily accept being asked to wear makeup and dress proper again by brian (who is a semi-out lesbian here i can't take away the beautiful homoeroticism of brian & john's relationship) whereas john is gnashing her teeth and throwing the world's biggest fit about it. sometimes paul does her makeup for her though and that's alright.

they start to loosen up with it in '66 and get more androgynous and by pepper's era they're both THRIVING being able to dress androgynously. paul starts getting funky with her makeup around that era too and john just stops wearing it completely

john cuts her hair shorter around revolver era and paul follows suit because they're Mirrors. paul has a twiggy thing going on.

paul also grows her hair out again in the worst most untamed Mess you've ever seen around get back era.

i've had this thought that they've fooled around a bit and john's out in an open industry secret sort of way like. girls would still throw themselves at the girl!beatles i feel this in my soul and i think george and john would be out getting pussy while paul WANTS to be out getting pussy but is holding herself back. but john will Not fuck her like she fucks other girls because this would tip whatever they're doing into Romantic territory like she KNOWS it would be different with paul and this pisses paul off to no end.

of course they DO end up fucking at some point and this makes things worse for everyone involved

paul has a boyfriend who she keeps getting on and off again engaged to (peter asher maybe lmfaoooo in which case... she is lowkey also still fucking jane on the side) and john hates him so so so so bad she wants that man dead and she makes it obvious

yoko is still a woman and her and john do political lesbianism (yoko's straight, john isn't, this is as much as a disaster as anyone would expect it to be) and paul is climbing the fucking WALLS out of how mad the whole thing makes her because it's not HER that john's being openly gay with. not that she'd want to be! but it's the fact that SHE was never ASKED!

linda is also still a woman and this also makes john madder than anyone's ever been because what do you mean paul has been into women romantically this entire time and now she's having a not-so-secret affair with an american photographer and moving to fucking scotland with her? she's losing it.

[listleven]

Simple guide on manifesting ✨

Choosing what you want to manifest. This is genuinely the hardest part. Especially if you are a beginner and you think you choose something a bit out of reach for you.... no. Anything is possible. This is classic but even the word impossible has Im possible in it. The thing with this is if you are trying for the first time and have had bad experiences or are expecting bad you are going to try and go for something more attainable or completely over consume. AND THATS OK. Practice is great. Go for what you think is smaller if it helps you ease. But you can manifest even with doubts bc despite the misinformation you don't need to "feel" like you have it. What happens a lot is people give up and stop persisting when they don't see it in the 3d. So they have "backup options". And then they create this cycle of fear that if they didn't manifest this, will this work?? RELAX!! It will.

Persisting. Of course you've heard a dozen times before but why do you think its so popular. Now here you're going to persist until your desires materialize in the 3d. AKA when your subconscious mind has been impressed. Even in doubt you will persist bc it does not make a difference. You will THINK like the person who has it not feel if you can't. Thats literally it.

TIPS:

In order to think like the person living in the end you can write a story from that POV, affirm, meditate, guided meditations to help you relax, I use subs that use present tense, affirmation tapes, SATs, and sm more.

A little tidbit of my own is affirming that the 3d is no more real than a dream. Im going to make a separate posts in all the ways dreaming and the 3d are so similar. That way you can say stuff like "ah this doesn't matter its just a dream in the true reality I have everything I want." This can also induce lucid dreams because I do reality checks and confirm to myself that im dreaming and immediately start meditating to "ground myself" for 5 seconds by doing this Ive done it in my dreams.

Refocus to the 4d if you're ever in doubt. Everything right now, isn't real not time, or physical objects. Go back to the imagination. Its kind of funny right how everyone gaslighted us into believing imagination is not the reality and we had to "come back to the real world" LMOA its literally vice versa

If you are persisting and don't see it in the 3d, don't you dare give up to manifest something more "attainable" this creates a loop where you go back to number 1 over and over. Remember you already have it. How do you know? Because this is no more real than a dream and you are the validation.

Accept the 4d as the only real reality

If you have had "failed attempts" Revise. Bc in the 4d no you didn't??? Ex. all those failed pure conscious attempts are not real , you actually have induced them in the 4d. If you keep persisting and accept that all those "attempts" worked, the 3d will conform.

Reminding yourself you have something and reality checks are the same thing. The most biggest similarity in the 3d and dreaming is you can control both using the 4d. We all know how reality checks work right. Persisting works the same way. I mentioned this in a previous tip above. I’ll do many reality checks confirming the 3d is a dream (bc it’s not real and stuff) and I’ll “ground myself” this allows me to trigger lucid dreams when I sleep AND I’ll add in something like “ofc I’m dreaming in the true reality I have —-“. That’s literally how manifestation works. If something “ fails” NO IT DIDNT. If you got a bad grade after manifesting in a good one, what? But you did get a good grade. In your 4d the real reality. Remember. Remind yourself that none of this is real. You did get that A. You are dreaming. None of this is real.

There are no such things as failed attempts. That did happen. You did shift. Let’s do a “which reality am I in” check right now. Oh and would u look at that you are in your dr.

I’m definitely going to post more about the last two bullet points to give more clarification.

~ with love, Jyspire

[cloud-hymn]

how long do you think it took jing yuan to realize that yanqing was actually his son™ and not just some kid he was mentoring?

Honestly as much as I love the “local man adopts orphan child without realizing he is now a dad” trope I don’t think it really works for them. Jing Yuan is shown to be pretty wise and seems to be relatively emotionally intelligent so I just don’t think there’s a situation in which he would take in a child to “teach” without realizing that said child would also need a parental figure. If anything I think it would probably be Yanqing, battling with insecurity and self-doubt, that would have trouble seeing/accepting the fact that Jing Yuan values and cares about him enough to view him as family.

So basically I think their dynamic is less like-

Fu Xuan: So how’s your son?

Jing Yuan: My son?????

And more like-

Yanqing: Oh my god I can’t believe I just called the general dad I’m so embarrassed

Jing Yuan: I literally am your dad calm down

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 71: shy

[uncanny-tranny]

I think people are too normal about just how much goes into making things.

I've gone through nearly sixty-six yards of yarn on my project so far. If I stacked myself up, it would take thirty-five mes just to equal that. And that's only after ribbing and two and a half rows of normal single crochet on a project that will be done in five pieces.

There is so much that goes into art. There are so many hours, material, blood, sweat, and tears that go into even the most simple of projects. Once you start realizing this, you start to truly appreciate everything about art.

[freakinator]

thinking about kab and the thing about her i think is she knows just enough to keep herself safe Generally but not enough to really predict what would happen should something more... complicated??? unforeseen??? idk whats the right word to use but something not covered by someones reputation and/or vids happen, believe it or not this also affects her view of clownpierce (we'll get to that)

for example, mapicc has a reputation for being an violent, angry, & impulsive guy and nothing else which makes sense but is incredibly surface level and something that only really works if you dont have a lot of experience working with him

another is reddoons, his betrayal after the base incident while shocking is not unforeseen but his reputation as being a guy whos seen as being a reasonable person whos fairly loyal to his team made it seem like something he wouldnt do even tho it absolutely is

regarding how it affects her view of clown, since he isnt perfectly aligned with his reputation she instead pivots in the complete opposite direction and forgiving basically every crime he does even tho hes something much more mild and complicated than either his reputation or her view of him will ever be (think madonna-whore complex which is especially obvious when it comes to kabs vs woogies view of him)

another side effect of this Just Enough amount of knowledge aside from being blinded by her own expectations is that it frustrates ppl who think shes oversimplificating things (like me and seemingly several other tumblr users as well) especially when she claims that shes objectively correct and the smartest in the room at any given moment

how this roughness in her analysis affects her in the server still has yet to be fully seen but we do still have at least a couple months until the end but 'til then shes just gonna keep stumbling as more and more complicated situations pop up as is typical in lifesteal to happen and eventually shes gonna have to learn to adapt or else she'll be suffering the consequences one way or another

[dailypokemoncrochet]

Okay so we're at 623/1025 Pokemon done right now that's 60.78%, and did you know that each 1 (one) new unique crochet brings us .09% (NOT EVEN A /TENTH/ OF A PERCENT) closer to 100%. That's 402 more Pokemon to go (currently) (not including ones that have different variants/forms). That's so many. Whoa. Wow.

[zytes]

neucypher

[nishihii]

rennala marika toxic yuri i cant get you out of my head

[not-poignant]

Thank you for writing Palmarosa! You write Astarion’s trauma so beautifully and I’m so excited to read more. For you, what is the most fun to write about for Palmarosa?

Hi anon!

I enjoy the interplay between Astarion and Raphael the most, but I have to be careful with it. Too much where Astarion and Raphael are getting along, and the tension fades and Raphael becomes just like... 'cute soft devil man' lol, and too little isn't good either.

But mostly I just enjoy writing them talking or spending time together, whether that's tense or fraught or calm or painful or terrifying or fun. Getting them both in a room together and forcing them to interact makes me happy :D

[karouvas]

Sorry (not) but I find anyone who acts like Blue is making something out of nothing when she’s mad Adam’s first question is about the kissing to be like. Deeply suspicious. Of course she is mad that’s the first thing he asked her! They’ve been walking on eggshells around each other and not really communicating since the last aborted kiss attempt which is on both of them to some degree, but when he comes around to her it’s only for this and when she has so many fears and insecurities about not properly belonging in the gang because she’s a girl (which is founded based on the fact aside from Noah they’ve all been misogynistic towards her at some point even if it was passive) and not being respected, when she’s also an outsider at home because of a different thing she can’t control. And you can not say that her feeling Adam is treating her like a thing to have and not a person he connects with is unfounded he again literally “I got Blue without you!” screamed at Gansey, consistently going to her after they fight (he did it end of TRB after repugnant too) to validate himself or just generally when he’s falling apart looking for validation from her like in the apartment scene. It’s not a bad thing to seek validation from your partner and in TRB before I’d say the last quarter I think Blue and Adam were genuinely connecting and developing a friendship while also exploring their feelings/attractions to each other, which did always have elements of seeking escape or validation for both of them in different ways, but it’s dissolved into that so much now. And I do think Blue is to some degree mad at Adam because he’s here and available to be mad at when she’s also mad at Gansey for it (I don’t think they’re *in the wrong * for not inviting her but they are in the wrong for not even considering she could want to go or at least want to be in the loop, also even though it’s Gansey’s party if Adam is trying to be her *boyfriend* it was kind of his place to ask her) so she’s conveying anger at Adam when the anger is for both of them, and also more general factors she’s frustrated by, but also Adam has the exact same response of channeling emotions that aren’t solely about Blue through their fights (and to his credit he is self aware that he does this) so again crucifying Blue for it is whack imo. Also to check myself on shipper-brain for the Adam-Gansey aspect of it, well obviously I read that here as a factor because I’m me, but for arguments sake on the premise Adam has No feelings about Gansey that are anything other than platonic Blue would still have a right to be mad about him prioritizing his platonic male friends over her and treating them with more respect, obviously, because misogyny exists (also these are not two contradictory readings in that I think they’re both factors. Signed an Adam Stan).

[dullahanblorboposting]

Hmmm I do enjoy the large amounts of feral toxic and obsessive violence flavors of durgetash around but its not my preference, like. I crave the 'horrible awful worst people youve ever met are soft for (ONLY) eachother' dynamic. What if, given the opportunity, they really WOULD rule together side by side, and they really do secretly and shamefully yearn for that comfort together. What if they almost indulge in it sometimes. AAAAAAAAAA

I really love the star-crossed lovers, forbidden romance, mutual yearning, tragedy of the only person to ever know you, and even openly like you being a temporary co-conspirator but ultimately your sworn enemy you you know you must kill.

Maybe it's just circumstantial. Maybe in another life you really would have hated him, or worse, had no feeling towards him either way at all, but that's not your reality. Your reality is that he's the ONLY ONE that offers you a painful glimpse of normalcy. Or as close to normal as someone like YOU could get. And it's so tempting (comforting even? Is that comfort?) That you can't ignore it. No matter how much guilt and shame it brings, no matter how much fear you hold towards your Father. You can control your urges, but not this? This feeling, this longing is stronger than even your deepest nature as child of Bhaal, so much so that you can't control it. So you ask for forgiveness instead. With promises that in the end, the result will be the same. You will kill him all the same. He will die at your hand, before only you, yourself.

You justify it this way. To the temple. To Father. To yourself.

Death is the only way this could end anyway. Because could you really go on living the way it was before? Before being known, accepted, liked as you were?