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#I used to look up to the sky and feel excited about possibilities and potential but that rarely fucking happens anymore
magical-xirl-4 · 2 years
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I just wanna feel safe for a good while and not in a constant lowkey state of flight omfg
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thefirstknife · 13 days
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Information about the new stuff for Destiny! I recommend reading the articles starting with this one. Some really cool and exciting possibilities. All of it is still very early so we don't know details, but we did get some images!
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The next two are super exciting, I'll go wild in the speculation so it'll be under read more:
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No clue what these are. They've teased that we'll be going to new places and especially leaving the solar system. The second picture even shows an unfamiliar sky with two planets/moons. But the technology on the ground is human (aside from the white floating things which is potentially human, but could also be something else) and it seems like it's been here a while so I don't think this is us freshly arriving. Or, depending how this will proceed, maybe it is. Perhaps some ships could be sent ahead of time and by the time we get there in person, they'll be in this state?
The ship in the first image feels old though, and it's in what looks like a dry water bed (sea? river? lake?). Feels alien with the weird things floating in the sky, but the actual ship looks very old.
If we're talking Golden Age colonisation projects, there aren't many options here to explore. We know they had projects, but everything we know about them is that they failed due to the Collapse. Exodus ships never made it out; the only one we know about that did is Indigo which ended up only reaching Neptune. We know Exodus Black had a target outside of the system (Kepler-186) but that ended up crashing on Nessus. It's always possible that there's some other previously unaccounted for Exodus ship that did make it out and we just didn't know about it which makes sense given the Collapse and a total loss of information.
Clovis had the ECHO project which was supposed to go to Andromeda, but one ship never launched and one was stolen by Soteria and crashed on Neptune. There's one peculiar lore tab I've really never forgotten about that mentions what appears to be some sort of a transmission around the time of the Collapse of someone attempting to escape the system and, well:
"If I rig the pod just so, I should make it to Ross 128 b before the systems die. I can rally some ships and try to make it back."
The mention of going there, "rallying ships" and coming back implies there's ships to rally at that location which further implies there's a living colony. I've always been intrigued by this lore tab and there's never been any sort of elaboration on it. Once again, it makes sense because even if people of the Golden Age settled somewhere out of the solar system, we simply wouldn't know about it unless those both survived and were able to reach back to us. Given the state of this technology in the images, perhaps the colony failed, possibly because of the loss of contact with Earth and resources before it could be properly set up. Both Kepler-186 and Ross 128b are real exoplanet locations btw.
Anyway, we have no idea what this is and as much as I like speculating, I hope it's something wild that we can't possibly guess. I just wanted to go into some of this because it's cool and exciting to think of the possibilities that have been mentioned but never explored.
There's other options as well. My first thought over the first image before I saw the second one was Panama Ravine, with the dried out water bed and the ship, but I think that feels a little too small as an exciting new "frontiers" location. Because it would just be Earth. But the second image shows an unfamiliar sky so!
There's other possible options including stuff we can't really even begin to imagine because it hinges on stuff that will be happening next two episodes. They said that the next two episodes will be hinting at what this is and where we're going.
Really intrigued about all of this as I have been since they teased Frontiers! So clear that they plan on taking us to completely new places and I can't wait to see what they have planned.
I do have some concerns about the plans with how content will be delivered. Two expansions, even smaller ones, is a lot of work, on top of free seasonal updates. My main concern is that after the layoffs and downsizing of the studio, this will be tough on the employees which might once again lead to crunch and insane demands. I want people to keep that in mind when we talk about our expectations for this content. It would feel bad not to mention this. I'm excited but also I don't want to forget everything that happened and how this might be affecting the team. I'm also not sure if it's the right way to go back to four 3-month cycles again instead of keeping three longer episodes, but since it's a different type of a cycle, who knows.
Either way I'm excited and I'm excited about all the future information they'll be sharing over the months to come.
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roseofhybrids · 3 months
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I can't recall if I ever went on a ramble about a MD head canon I have (I feel like I have, but maybe I've just thought about it so often that I've convinced myself I've made a post about it. Either way, let us endulge in the fixation)
it's about the worker drones' simultaneous crippling fear of the disassembly drones and general indifference to death.
Here's a cut because this ended up way longer than I thought it would-
Just about every worker drone is terrified of the murder drones (reasonably so, as they can peel one of them open like a mechanical orange) and yet in spite of this, they show a blatant disregard for safety once the sky demons are out of sight.
First two times we see something like this happen is when Khan lets Uzi go outside at night to "look at the door hydraulics" and later when the WDF guard corrects N on the name gin rummy instead of running for his life. Now, maybe Khan was too excited about Uzi showing an interest in doors to think about the potential danger, and maybe worker drones are big dumb dumbs most of the time.
But then you have situations like in the promening and cabin fever where groups of drones will initially show fear before quickly relaxing around the murder machines. They go from shaking in fear after watching one of their classmates being shot to offering friendship and poking one of them in the face in mere minutes.
So, why do they go from terrified to unbothered so fast.
Well, we know the drones on Copper 9 were mostly used for mining, a dangerous job that can have deadly accidents even when human safety standards are in place. So, JCJenson has to program these drones to dig up the ore, carry it to the surface, process it, et cetera. Building and repairing robots costs money, so ideally you'd want to minimize them getting damaged in the most cost-effective way possible. Safety measures decrease production and safety equipment costs money, so what are they to do?
My head canon/theory is that they programmed the drones to avoid situations that will damage themselves. Something to stop them from walking into pits and sticking their heads between moving gears. So if a drone sees another drone get broken by something, they're programmed to avoid the thing that lead to their buddy getting killed. See another drone get crushed by a rock? Avoid loose boulders. See another drone fall into a smelter? Avoid moving along the edge of the catwalk. And so on and so forth.
But you don't want them to be too careful. After all, if you program them with too much anxiety they'll be too scared to work, which will decrease production. So they also programmed them to proceed if they see that there's no immediate danger. Sure, three drones fell into a sinkhole in this area last month, but Steve's standing over there and not falling into the ground, so it must be safe. With this, also comes an explanation for their indifference to death, even when it happens to friends or family. If a drone grieves losing a coworker, then they won't work as well. So once the initial fear of seeing another being breaking passes, they move on and get back to setting off explosions (standing a few extra feet away this time).
Going back to the scenes from The Prommening and Cabin Fever-
The crowd is initially scared of V when she drops in. But when Lizzy explains that they're friends and insists that they "forgive and forget" they go right to clapping and cheering. As soon as the known threat proves to be safe, the fear switches off.
Cabin Fever is an even better example. They've all just watched V shoot another drone. N acts very friendly, but they remain afraid. That is, until Lizzy and Thad move to stand next to the two murder drones. They see the two not die by doing this, and immediately the entire group relaxes and are soon treating N and V as though they're just your run-of-the-mill drone. The worker teens only show fear again when they do something that could threaten them. Such as at the archery range when V points the bow at them.
They show similar behavior around Uzi that episode as well. When ever her presence is brought to their attention, there's visible fear. This makes sense with her past behavior in mind. Railgun exploding in class, taking over classmate's sentience, general violence. She's proven to be a potential danger, and so they're afraid when first seeing her. When she doesn't immediately do anything to harm another drone, they soon calm down to the point that they forget she even exists. She makes herself known when the bus arrives at camp Fear till their attention is drawn to the teacher and then the murder drones She shows up at the archery range and arrow into a flesh beast Fear until she runs away, name then forgotten She rips a drone's head off and pauses for dramatic effect In those few seconds of not killing her, Lizzy switches from afraid to criticizing her
It's like once the "threat" is resolved, their brains determine she isn't worth focusing on to the point of the drones forgetting her name. (In particular, Lizzy is really unbothered by almost getting killed in that episode. Possibly because she's been spending time with V? A sort of desensitization)
After all, if another drone isn't a danger, and they aren't working alongside them (not in the same mining team, not in the same clique) it isn't worth it to have info on them and tosses it to the recycling bin.
We see the solver drones and disassembly drones break this line of behavior. Along with Khan, Thad, and Lizzy to an extent. (Which, in all fairness, could just be main character privileges)
Khan of course shows to still care about Nori's death years after the fact, as well as concern about Uzi leaving at the end of the pilot. I think it's worth noting how the other WDF members in episode 2 react to him prioritizing Uzi over building a door. Calling the idea "cringe" and displaying general annoyance and sickness at the idea. Is it just because it's Khan and Uzi, or do drones just see anyone putting family over work as strange?
Thad isn't afraid of Uzi and doesn't have a negative view of her like the other teenage drones. Has he not witnessed her "shenanigans" or is he just braver and kinder than most drones? He isn't afraid of N in episode 2, but, as he says himself, N helped save his life. He also shows some concern for other drones dying when he mentions the disappearances to Uzi in Heartbeat.
Lizzy has also shown to be braver than most drones. Little fear around Uzi, was able to hang around with V long enough to set up the prom scheme, helped Doll set up said prom scheme despite Doll doing a bunch of murdering, willingness to just walk up to J and trying to punch her. Her being around V and Doll would suggest she doesn't have the same concern about other drones dying the way Thad does. But that could just be her putting up a front. Perhaps we'll get to see a little more in episode 8.
Hope anyone who read through all this found at least some enjoyment in doing so. I thought this would be, like, 3 short paragraphs tops, but now there's a little over 1200 words.
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zeroeightzeroone · 9 months
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in this lifetime and the next - seo changbin
genre: angst? hurt/comfort? idk two exes are talking about their past relationship
pairing: ex-boyfriend, non-idol!seo changbin x ex-girlfriend!femreader
notes: if this looks familiar, my secondary blog 'zerothreetwentyfive ' was deleted by tumblr (idk why) so i'm republishing everything here on my main blog.
wc ~2.5k | moodboard
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 。 。・:*:・゚★,。・:
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"how…" he clears his throat, "how have you been?"
his eyes are fixed on the night sky. even with the knowledge that he isn't looking in your direction, you still shrug before replying, "i've been… okay."
if someone told you three years ago you'd be lying under the millions of stars sparkling up within the dark night sky, next to your ex-boyfriend, you would've been convinced that person was out of their mind. especially, if that person told you that throughout the trip you would find yourselves alone together coincidentally, eventually finding yourselves sober and in the comfort of your ex-partner laid next to you. a cool breeze drifting by once in a while and everyone else who came onto the trip were either drunk or passed out inside the cottage. 
you really would've called an intervention. convinced that they were far too delusional for their own good.
then again, you from three years ago would have never believed there'd come a day when your boyfriend would become your ex. where he would become someone of your past. you from three years ago could not even fathom, nor entertain the possibility of being away from the man, of living without the man. the man you loved more than anything or anyone. a statement that holds true to this day.
truthfully, you believed that he would be the one you would love and be loved by for eternity. believing that you waited your whole life, for everything in the universe to align, paving the path to meet the man you were fated for, the man you would call the one:
seo changbin.
"work's been good? school? life?" changbin's voice is quite soft and his tone is a bit awkward. 
he's tiptoeing around his words, trying to figure out how you feel about him. weighing out what you could and couldn't speak about or if you should be speaking at all. the thought of overstepping and potentially making you uncomfortable sits in the back of his mind.
"they've been… more or less the same," you answer.
it's different without you, you think to yourself. 
his absence was something you could never get used to after the breakup. three years later and that sense of emptiness looms over your head.  
"i got promoted last year," you add.
"oh really? that's great to hear!" changbin's tone is excited but at the same time it's uneasy.
of course, he's excited, and he's proud of you but he still doesn't know how you feel about him right now. what if he makes you uncomfortable with too much excitement? or a lack of excitement? changbin's treading lightly.
"… uh… sorry–"
"—how about you? how have you been?" you're quick to cut him off. 
if you didn't, changbin would go on rambling and apologizing; something you picked up on very early into your relationship. the man lying next to you apologizes for everything, regardless of if he is at fault or not. even if there is no fault, he finds himself apologizing anyway.
"last i remember you were working a big project."
changbin blinks, taken aback by the sudden interruption but he composes himself quickly, "o-oh! i've been doing good as well. happy that it's done."
"how'd it go?" you wonder.
"it was... definitely a lot more than we expected to take on. the clients decided they wanted to expand more on their vision. change up a lot of pre-made plans."
"ah, i see... i can't tell if that's good or bad?"
"i'd say it's both," you can hear the slight smile in his tone, "a lot of work done being scrapped which, y'know, isn't exactly ideal. but they agreed to pay us more which is good. i'd say we were rewarded adequately for the work we put in."
you hum, "well, then, i'm happy for you."
silence looms in the air between the two of you. neither of you knows what to say to the other, how to continue a conversation. 
the both of you stare up at the stars overhead; most of which you aren't able to see on a daily due to the light pollution in the city. while there is a silence that has fallen between you two, it's not an uncomfortable one. neither of you are itching to escape an awkward atmosphere, to escape being around your ex. instead you find yourselves in a comfortable space in the presence of the one lying next to you.
basking in a presence neither of you has had the opportunity to be comforted by, let alone be around, in the past three years.
you find yourself instinctively fiddling with the ends of your hoodie sleeves, pulling them over your hands and hiding them inside. beside you, changbin adjusts his arm to rest behind his head while the other one rests on his stomach.
"y'know what this reminds me of?" he says suddenly, in a hushed tone, "reminds me of our two-year anniversary."
tearing your eyes off the sky, you turn your head to changbin's direction. 
you let your eyes linger on him for a moment. entranced by how the stars and the moon illuminate his features in such a soft and gentle manner. it's been three years since you've been this physically close to changbin, let alone seen the man, you can't help but analyze his features like it's the first time. looking over the features you fell in love with way back when.
changbin looks just as amazing as ever, maybe even more attractive. he still sports those soft, dark curls in his shaggy hair that falls right under his eyes. he's more buff in comparison to when you last saw him three years ago.
the longer you let your eyes look over him, the more you're taken back, that sense of nostalgia washing over you. he's right, this moment is reminiscent of your two-year anniversary. 
you remember the months leading up to that day as if it were yesterday.
you remember repeatedly asking your boyfriend how you two should celebrate the milestone that was coming just around the corner. in response, he would always say he would be the one to take care of everything and that all you needed to do was sit back and relax. 
the boy was clad in light blue denim jeans, a navy varsity-styled jacket with a white shirt underneath, his hair tousled as it fell in front of his black-rimmed glasses when he knocked at your door. greeting your family before whisking you away for a night you will never forget.
changbin quite literally drove you off into the sunset, one hand gripping the wheel whilst his other held your hand in his. the both of you belting out to the playlist you created together, one that grew as each day passed. 
by the time you arrived at your destination, the sun had set behind the skyline as the dark sky loomed over the city. you remember the way your jaw slacked in awe at the breathtaking sight of all the stars. 
"i've never been this close to the stars! they're so much closer from up here!" 
you stood there gaping at the stars for what felt like eternity, while changbin stood beside you, his eyes full of affection as he stared at you. oh, his eyes. you would think he captured the stars in his eyes with the way they sparkled at the sight of you. that night on the hill, you and changbin were laid next to each other on the hood of his car, cuddled in each other's arms as you talked about anything and everything that came into your minds.
there you were in the arms of your lover, alone together in your own starry heaven. everything seized to exist other than you and your intertwined hearts.
you and changbin, together against the world.
nothing will ever come close to that level of perfection. that ethereal moment you've etched into your brain, you'd much rather be damned than to have that moment wiped from your memory.
"yeah… it does. the sky, the stars… just... everything brings me back."
"it was definitely not as chilly that night," changbin smiles.
half of his statement refers to the weather and the other half refers to how you were huddled up next to him that night. as opposed to now, where the space between your bodies lets in a cool draft.
you chuckle and shake your head, "the weather was great, not too hot and not too cold. just perfect."
lying next to him, reminiscing on your two-year anniversary as a couple has a question popping up in your minds.
if given the chance, would you go back? would you choose each other again?
the question is nothing new. a recurring thought over the past three years. 
over the past three years, you've collected a pool of unanswered questions regarding your relationship with changbin: the how's, what's, when's and why's. how could you not wonder? nothing in the world could surpass your love for seo changbin.
three years later and you have never loved as deeply as you have for the man beside you.
you're both listening to the steady breaths of the one lying next you as both your minds run a mile a minute. allowing a brief silence to settle before changbin is the one to break the silence.
"i'm sorry."
"sorry? ...for what?"
"just… everything."
when you turn to look in changbin's direction, your eyes meet for the first time that night. god, it feels as if your heart stopped at that exact moment. the delay was so long you could have dropped dead right there.
but you lived off the way your eyes locked with changbin's. finding your breath again with each twinkle of the stars reflecting off his black-rimmed glasses. finding your pulse starting up again, this time beating out of your chest as his deep brown eyes bore into your own. breathing the life back into you.
your gazes soften, a wave of nostalgia washing over the both of you; a memory of what you once had together.
a breath of the life you shared three years ago.
you stare at each other wordlessly. soaking in a feeling of comfort neither of you has felt in three years, one you only received from the one lying next to you.
"i'm sorry too. for everything."
"it's not your fault," he shakes his head, "i fell short in the end and i wasn't the boyfriend you deserved."
you're shaking your own head, "i was a terrible girlfriend. i wouldn't have stayed with me either."
"you were–are– amazing," changbin states, "you've always been."
"that's not true. don't say that, i know i hurt you with the things i said."
somewhere along the line of your relationship with changbin, things started to go awry. your lives began to clash; school and work priorities building and creating distance between you two. it felt like your relationship was slowly slipping away, schedules ran tight and pressures ran high. 
you remember petty arguments, the back-and-forth bickering between the both of you when you were able to see each other. 
"and i hurt you. i was never there when you needed me, i promised you that you could trust me, depend on me but i broke that in the end."
"that's not your fault. i couldn't be there when you needed me either."
"and that wasn't your fault either, our schedules didn't line up anymore."
"but… i could've tried har—"
"there was only so much we could do and you tried your absolute hardest," changbin interrupts you, "time just... wasn't on our side."
you hate to admit that even without the petty, groundless arguments, the end was inevitable. 
your relationship no longer fit into the other's increasingly hectic schedule, any and all the attempts came with sacrifices with school or work, and in the end, there was no healthy way to incorporate that time for each other. all the time you did spend together was plagued by stress and high tensions, only pushing you two further apart. 
no matter how hard you tried to salvage your relationship, everything else tried even harder to ruin it.  
the anger and dejection only grew stronger as time passed. the both of you wondering why things weren't going your way no matter how hard you worked for it. you felt dejected that your efforts came without fruition. upset that the time you did have together was limited, fleeting and full of the pressures your individual lives were weighing on you. 
"can i ask something?" your voice is almost inaudible but changbin hums in response, "why did you leave when you did?"
changbin blinks slowly as he processes your words.
"i didn't want things to get worse."
"what do you mean?"
"i didn't want to end things between us on a bad note. for us to part ways hating each other."
"i could never hate you."
"maybe, but we'd grow to resent each other even if we didn't mean to. wondering if our efforts were in vain, that no matter how hard we tried the universe worked harder against us."
"did you… resent me in the end?"
"i would've rather died instead of growing to hate or resent you."
your head snaps in his direction and his to yours. your eyes wide with shock at how he said that without hesitation.
"what we had between us, i didn't want it to be overshadowed by months of arguing."
changbin has never loved anyone the way he loves you. 
early on in your relationship, changbin wholeheartedly believed you were the best thing to ever happen to him. no one cared for him, accepted him and understood him in the way you did. no one made him as happy as you did.
when he realized that your relationship became a source of stress in your increasingly hectic lives, he made the difficult decision to leave.
the people that come in and out of your life come either as a blessing or a lesson; changbin believes you are a blessing in his life.
people slip in and out of your life, fuck around and make you rethink everything. the memories of them are associated with the phrases: "i should have known better" or "you learn from your mistakes".
and he would rather be damned than to be a lesson.
he knew that with the direction both your lives were headed into at the time, the end was inevitable and if things between you two had to end then, in your out-of-control lives, he wanted the last semblance of control here.
"the thought of losing you scared me shitless," changbin continues, "but what scared me even more was that you could one day regret all of this, everything we had. that you would leave regretting ever loving me."
"… i didn't know you were thinking that way," your voice trails off at the end, thoughts still delayed as you process the words of your ex-boyfriend lying next to you.
you take a moment before you continue.
"at one point, i wasn't even mad or upset with you anymore... i was mad at the universe. the circumstances."
when you and changbin broke up, you often wondered what the universe had in store for you after such excruciating heartbreak. but the pain didn't even stop with changbin; it seemed like the universe had it against you as else in your life began to downward spiral. 
you struggled to adjust to the growing hustle and bustle of your life while also struggling to adapt without your person.
oftentimes, you imagined taking a trek up to climb the tallest mountain in the world. exerting all that blood, sweat and tears for the opportunity to let everything out into the void. you imagined standing on the highest point on earth would be as physically close as you could get to the universe. 
maybe from up there, the universe would be able to hear the desperation, the pain that came from wondering what you did to deserve this; to have loved so passionately and to have lost, to experience such excruciating pain.
if the universe didn't align for a life with changbin, you laid awake wondering what it did align for. if it would be worth it. 
what could be more worth it than him? 
with a bittersweet smile on your lips you say, "nothing aligned for us in this lifetime. maybe, in the next lifetime."
you're trying your hardest to control and suppress your emotions as your eyes gloss over, tears threatening to fall. changbin's eyes stay fixed on you as he, much like you did earlier, analyzes your features all over again as if it was the first time.
changbin pays close attention to every detail, etching it into his mind.
"whose to say that?" changbin's eyes meet your own once again, a glint present in his chocolate brown orbs, "this lifetime isn't over yet."
your eyes, still blown wide with surprise, meet changbin's. you would think he captured the stars in his eyes with the way they sparkled at the sight of you.
"in this lifetime and the next, i'll love you."
"does that mean you'll love me for eternity?"
"our love is so strong it transcends lifetimes. we'll always find our way back to each other."
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umseb · 6 months
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Sebastian Vettel: Four-time F1 world champion 'speaking to' Mercedes boss Toto Wolff amid thoughts of return to grid
Sebastian Vettel says he is thinking about making a return to Formula 1 amid ongoing discussions with Mercedes boss Toto Wolff and the sport's other team principals.
The four-time world champion retired in 2022 after 16 seasons in F1, but has since been regularly linked with a possible return to the grid. Mercedes have a 2025 seat to fill following Lewis Hamilton's decision to join Ferrari, while Red Bull, the team Vettel won his four drivers' titles with, could also have a vacancy with Sergio Perez's contract expiring. Asked whether he is in the market for a 2025 seat, Vettel told Sky Sports News: "Well, potentially I am because I haven't got a drive, but the question is, am I looking for one? I think it depends on the package. I retired from Formula 1 not to come back, but I also did say that you never know, so I think it still stands. Obviously there's things that I miss, which is mostly the competition, and things that I don't miss, so that hasn't changed. Obviously life is very different if you're not involved, and I do enjoy that still. You never know where life is taking you, so maybe it takes me back behind the wheel, maybe it doesn't." Having earlier confirmed to Sky News that he has been "speaking to" Mercedes boss Toto Wolff, Vettel was asked whether he would be able to resist the lure of an offer from the Silver Arrows. He said: "I've had conversations with him (Wolff), not really about the seat. We did speak about the whole situation in short, as well. But I did speak to others, as well, because I'm still keeping in touch every now and then. I have some projects and ideas together with F1. We'll see if they will turn out or not. So I am staying in touch. I don't know. It has to be a couple more phone calls and conversations, I guess, to really find out a little bit more. But for sure it's one of the best seats on the grid. Performance-wise, Mercedes has a great track record, struggling a little bit in the last years, but then struggle and you're still second and third in the constructors', it's not like you're racing in no man's land."
Vettel tempted by Le Mans opportunity
If he were to return to F1, Vettel would currently only be the third-eldest driver on the grid, with the 39-year-old Hamilton and 42-year-old Fernando Alonso still performing at a high level. Asked what he has missed since hanging up his helmet, Vettel added: "The thrill, the speed. I think the competition mostly, really. Driving quick is not the only thing, but it's really the competition." Vettel recently tested the Porsche hypercar that will run in this year's 24 Hours of Le Mans race in June. The German said there's a possibility he could make his debut in the famous race. "Maybe. I don't know yet," Vettel said. "I've been testing. I was curious, so I wanted to see how it feels. It's obviously a different discipline. It's still racing, but it's a different car, different discipline. Lots of things that excite me, lots of different things, not necessarily just looking at something behind the wheel, but also outside the car. I am (tempted) and I'm not. I am obviously also looking for lots of other things and there's lots of other things that do interest me outside of racing."
'Hamilton Ferrari switch surprising but exciting'
Having shared intense world championship battles earlier in their careers, Vettel and Hamilton had developed a strong relationship by the time the former retired. With Hamilton set to follow in Vettel's footsteps by driving at Ferrari, the German admitted he was "surprised" by the switch. "I was surprised, like I guess most of us," Vettel said. "But exciting. Obviously he's looking for a new challenge, and it will be different to see him in red, in a different colour." The final two of Vettel's six seasons with Ferrari saw him drive alongside Charles Leclerc, who remains with the Italian team and will be Hamilton's teammate next year. Vettel is confident the pair will get along, but warns Ferrari boss Frederic Vasseur will face a challenge in managing their competitiveness. "Charles is good, Charles is easy," Vettel said. "He's very quick, very competitive, but so is Lewis, so it's more difficult, I guess, for the team to manage."
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yunacoeur · 1 year
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the choices we make
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our last dance: chapter iii
chapter synopsis: you, as the oldest royal child of your family, are up to take the throne. in your search for a partner to be consort, the royal family is throwing a party in your name for you to meet potential suitors.
look at me like i’m the only person in the room.
word count: 3.2k
a/n: i apologize this is kind of the filler chapter to get us to the climatic ending of the main story! so excited to show you chapter 4, but in the meantime: enjoy!
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you wake up the morning after, after having been right to assume you’d be restless. the whole night was spent thinking about all of them. you couldn’t eliminate a single one without some part of your brain begging you to reconsider. a small memory shard would be given to you every time you tried to eliminate them. a moment that made you like them.
and then you’d be back to square one.
gyuvin seemed younger, but he was charming in a youthful way. he still had all the stars in his eyes, while the others seemed to only have a few. he had beautiful dreams and ideas and you wonder if maybe, just maybe, you could run away with him. to a place where nobody knew either of you.
matthew was polite and kind and everything you expected in a partner. he’s practically perfect for you. he’s strong and saved you from so much embarrassment when you fell. he kind of felt like the hero you needed in life.
hao was someone who felt real. he felt genuine. you didn’t feel like royalty around him, you just felt like you were someone and he was someone and you were destined to fall in love. you could see it when you were deciding whether or not to dance with hanbin. he felt it too. he was comfort and protection and calm. maybe that’s what you need a little more of.
taerae, the hopeless romantic. god it felt like a typical romance straight out of a movie. what’s nice is that these kind of movies are predictable. there are no surprises, just a guy who falls helplessly in love with you by the end of the story. you could be the happy ending that romeo and juliet never got.
jiwoong is familiarity, and also unfamiliarity. he’s someone you’ve known for years, and also someone completely unknown to you entirely. and while you have spent this time not really knowing him, he has spent his time falling in love with you, to your surprise. he said he’s wanted to marry you all his life. maybe you could make his wish come true.
yujin is also familiarity, but in a different way. you could never marry that kid, but maybe you should consider the possibility of giving the position to him on paper so he could get the chance to rule like how he’s always dreamed of, and your real lover could be someone else behind the scenes. perhaps that is a good ending too, is it not? sacrificing everything so yujin gets a happy ending?
gunwook, the noble scholar, who gives meaning to the stars in the sky. he’s smart, effortlessly so, and he’s beautiful, adorable, sweet, etc. he could say there’s meaning in the most innocuous things and you would believe him. the sun is shining a little bit brighter today? it’s a sign that we’re meant to be together, shine together.
and ricky. a ghost of a presence. an orange rose hidden in the bouquet, waiting for you to search and rescue it. he’s a mystery, but as you think more about him, ask around more, you learn how sweet the people around him think he is. they compare him to a kitten. you’re not sure you see it.
the night is slowly coming to an end. you can feel it in the air.
you look for a place to rest your unconventional bouquet, finding an expensive vase resting on a podium in the center of the room. you assume it’ll do the job. you put them in the vase, adjusting them so each one stands out just a bit more. they look chaotic and mismatched together, but even still, they’re all reminders of the beautiful people you’ve met tonight. it would be a shame to hate them and their lack of uniformness.
your eyes search for suitors with flowers still in their suit pockets, a sign that you must still speak to them. one last suitor stands out to you. he’s tall and his hair is bleached blonde. he's wearing more modern styles of jewelry and makeup, he looks cool. trendy even. it means he doesn’t fit in super well with the rest of the crowd, but he also stands out. he is incredibly attractive and his modern look is not doing him any disservice. he’s quite beautiful. you make your way over to him, but as he sees you, he walks over to meet you in the middle.
he tells you his name, but you don’t quite hear him, “my name is ricky.”
“hi, ricky,” you say with a giggle. it’s weird that you feel so shy, but the way that he’s looking at you is making you question everything. his eyes are enchanting, but he’s a little more reserved than he seems from far away and he’s quieter than he seems as well. he hasn’t said anything this whole interaction besides his name.
that’s probably the only reason you can keep talking to him without getting flustered, “i saw you fall earlier. you were with another suitor, i believe? it was so shocking.”
“what do you mean?”
“well, so many people saw but you kinda fell into that guy’s arms so no one said anything,” he shrugs, “are you normally that clumsy?”
a part of you is screaming at yourself to recognize that he hasn’t addressed you respectfully this entire time and that he’s talking way too casually. the other is too charmed by him to really care about the disrespect.
“i-i guess so,” you murmur.
“you should be more careful,” he advises. you mumble out a shaky acknowledgment as he looks at his watch for the time.
“it’s getting late,” he comments, looking back up at you, “did you succeed tonight? did you find ‘the one’?”
a part of you wonders how he even knew of your worries about not finding ‘the one’. a part of you knows he could of overheard. it’s still shocking.
“i don’t know,” you say, and he shakes his head.
“no, i think you do,” he says in return. he’s serious, and the fact that he’s so self-assured makes you believe him just a bit.
you remember talking to a staff member earlier in the day, from a neighboring kingdom. they had sent a son of a powerful, wealthy duchess. they had called him something, an adoring nickname that didn’t make sense nor matter at the time, and now looking back on it you’re wondering how someone like this could be so adored and practically babied by the people around him.
but they definitely referred to him as the one with the blonde hair.
the nickname was something you could not remember, but you could never forget how highly they spoke of him, like he was the sweetest person they had ever met. like he was a teddy bear.
which was ironic because the guy in front of you doesn’t seem like that. maybe there’s more under the surface.
because he is definitely a softer guy than he’s letting on. he can hide it with his intimidating energy and mystery, but you can see it in his eyes, in the way he’s nervous fidgeting with his hands. he seems sweet under it all.
you try to talk to him more, but he almost seems to be rushing to run away, disappearing practically mid-conversation into the crowd. it’s disappointing, but you can finally seem to drag yourself out of the spell you seemed to be under while he was around.
and then it hits you, he never gave me a flower. as you realize it, you walk over to the vase in the center of the room where you had put the other flowers.
you find an orange rose hidden in the bouquet. there’s a note attached to it, taped to the thorny stem.
“remember me. ricky.”
the party has been over for a while now. not literally, you suppose, considering all the people still here. they won’t start to trickle out until you leave.
you retreat to the bar, hoping to find a certain comforting face once again. now that all the dancing has stopped, most of the guests are standing around, drinking, and chatting with their comrades. it may be hard to find the particular face you’re searching for.
and yet, right when you wanted him, he appears before you. it might just be magic.
“hello, stranger,” you say to him. your tone is much warmer and more fond than before. it has lost all sarcasm.
“didn’t i tell you not to call me that?” he replies as he turns to face you. it makes you smile knowing he recognized your voice, your teasing before he saw you. maybe he’d see the personality before the status, unlike so many people in your life, “are you doing alright?”
“yeah, why wouldn’t i?”
“i told you to come find me if you needed a break, so i had assumed-”
“don’t assume anything, dear stranger. i can’t only come to you during bad times. that is not love,” you say, reaching for his hand. he lets you take it and hold it in yours.
“my apologies, your highness,” he says with the most endearing smile.
“but unfortunately you were right,” you say, and he breathes out a laugh. it’s such inappropriate timing, but he can’t help it. you playfully glare at him and he rushes to defend himself.
“i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have laughed,” he says, “what’s wrong?”
you look away from him to gaze over the crowd, eyes wandering to your bouquet sitting gently in the center of the dancefloor. it stands out even more on its podium now that no one is dancing.
it’s an ominous thing. just sitting there peacefully, holding a representation of 8 different guys who offered to marry you, and also yujin, who you think forgot to give you the flower that was sitting in his pocket. you smile fondly at the thought.
out of all the possible thoughts to share with hao, you choose a very unspecific one, “i don’t feel right about any of this,” you say.
“what do you mean, your highness? the party?”
“this isn’t right, hao,” you whisper anxiously. even though he can tell you didn’t mean to say his name so casually, that it just slipped out without you noticing, he smiles. you’re already comfortable with him and that gives him peace, “i don’t feel good forcing people to perform and be the perfect candidate for my husband so i can find ‘the one’.”
“hey, don’t say that. you’re not forcing anyone,” he squeezes your hand to get your attention back on him. you seem distracted.
“i just- it all feels so wrong,” you say, and he heaves out a big sigh like he’s preparing to make a huge mistake.
he pulls you by your hand into him, his free arm wrapping around you as your head rests on his shoulder. he rests his head against yours, letting you relax and breathe before he says anything else.
“i’m sorry,” he whispers, “i’m sorry i keep doing things without asking you. i’m sorry i keep disrespecting you as the future monarch of this kingdom. and mostly i’m sorry that you feel like you’re the villain here.”
you’re not crying, because keeping in emotions is something you’ve been learning to do for years. god if you aren’t a little bit close.
“this should have been a cute story. a love story. finding your perfect match and having a perfect, happy ending,” he taps his hand against your back as a soothing motion, “instead you’re here feeling like you’re the bad guy, like you forced everyone here. that must feel horrible.”
“it does,” you whisper back.
he chuckles, and you feel the vibrations from his chest. his rhythmic heartbeat comforts you.
“i’m sorry, your highness. if it’s any comfort, i can assure you that no one you’ve met tonight feels forced to be here.”
“how would you know?” you mumble against his shirt.
“because i’m standing here with you. i could not imagine being displeased with your company,” he smiles, you can’t see it but you can hear it in his voice, “i could not imagine disliking you. i couldn’t even begin to describe what that would be like.”
you raise your head to look at him. his eyes are so intense, but they’re beautiful, burning into your soul.
“thank you, stranger,” you whisper to him with a giggle, and he scoffs, letting you go but still holding your hand.
“you’re never gonna let that go, are you?”
“i don’t think so,” you smile, and he smiles back.
“are you thinking of calling it a night soon?” he asks.
“yes, i think so. i am tired. i will think it all over in the morning,” you say, thinking of the restless night you are about to have. all those pretty smiles and charming personas. it will definitely take some time to decide who you’re going to marry.
“then i suppose this is goodbye until i see you again,” he sighs, and it feels tragic. there’s this heavy feeling on your soul, “whether i see you again as my fiance or as an ally, please know that i will always be here to be your peace, should you ever need me.”
“thank you, hao,” you tell him, before suddenly, you remember something, “oh, my, i almost forgot!”
he looks shocked for just a moment, “what? what is it?”
you look back at him, apologetic for getting up to leave so suddenly, “i promised something.. to someone.”
of course, you see in his eyes that he’s not fond of what you’re implying. he looks subtly upset like he’s hiding it well. maybe your heart likes that he already wants you to himself.
you don’t have to do it. you could stay with hao and be comfortable. he seems to be the only real person here. he’s sweet and charming. he’s a perfect bachelor.
but you see hanbin from across the room. his darling charming smile and his cheek dimples stand out the most. he is exciting, breathtaking, and it would be a crime to not dance with him at the very least one last time ( hopefully this isn't the last).
“stay with me,” hao says, tightening his grip on your hand. you stare at your hand being held in his, desperately holding on, “stay. please.”
“i promised him,” you whisper, looking up at him. something is going on inside his head, an emotion you can’t exactly pinpoint. you give one last look to hanbin, who at very long last makes eye contact with you. his eyes shine impossibly brighter, like he’s found what he’s been looking for.
hao sighs, “then go,” he changes his mind suddenly, and you turn back to face him, “no, really. go. dance with him. it’s okay.” it’s confusing and heartwrenching to see hao let you go like that. you know he hates the words leaving his mouth.
you mouth a simple thank you to him before running off to fall into the arms of your final dance partner of the night.
you get to him easily. he’s still just as effortlessly beautiful up close as you remember. he immediately reaches for your hand to hold. he’s warmer than zhang hao is. he’s not as soft spoken. he’s brighter. his grip is less gentle. so many little differences.
“hanbin,” you smile, and he smiles back. he adores how softly you say his name. it’s only been hours, but he thinks he’s ready to fall in love. it feels too fast and too quick, but he’s been preparing for this moment his whole life. considering he has no chance for his own kingdom's throne, marrying you would be fulfilling his destiny.
plus, he likes the way you look at him. he likes how clumsy you dance, it’s kind of charming. he likes how humble you are despite your position. he likes a lot about you already.
“will you join me?” he asks, but when your face falls just slightly, he gets concerned. he’s faulting just a bit, his hand retracting slightly. he’s worried that you’re giving him this last dance as a final goodbye, “what is wrong, your highness?”
“you’re asking for the… last dance,” you mumble, and before he has a chance to even respond to that, you wipe the sadness from your face and take his hand, “very well, i suppose i will join you.”
he’s slightly stunned, but he follows. he feels out of place for wanting to correct you. you haven’t given him the opportunity, but he still feels like he must. for your feeling’s sake.
“your majesty, i had asked for your first dance as a formality. and i had asked for your last dance out of avarice for your time, but if i'm being honest,” he says, his grip on your waist as you sway together making the moment even more intimate. god, he’s so close to you, you can feel the breaths he exhales on your skin, “i think i’ll need more than just those two.”
“yeah?” that, in all your dazed glory, was all you were capable of responding with.
“i would ask for all of them if that didn’t feel just a bit too greedy, your highness,” he gives you a goofy smile and it just all stops. time freezes for just a second.
you let it all go for a moment, just enjoying your last moments of the night with him. he decides to relax and enjoy these moments as well, twirling you around and smiling so endeared when you giggle. he might just be in love already.
you’ve gotten a little bit more bold since the first dance with him, and now that it is the last one, he happily lets you lead him around in your clumsy rendition of the graceful dance he had led you in earlier. he is so much better of a dancer than you are, but he’s patient with you. you step on his toes at one point, and you hurriedly apologize, but it doesn’t even matter to him. his expensive shoes are replaceable; this moment with you is not.
people who look on simply see you and him, giggling and laughing at your silly dance, holding onto each other for fear you’ll fall, and they must wonder if all these other suitors thought they even stood a chance.
“i have a request,” you say to him, “could you promise me this is not our last dance?”
he smiles so endearingly, “your highness, no matter what your answer is in the coming days, should you ever lend out your hand, i will reach for it. i will always twirl you around and dance with you, and we will come right back to this moment,” he says. it gives you comfort for a brief second before the anxiety of the question of who to pick comes back to you.
hanbin?
with his perfect smile and dimples, are you going to choose to spend your mortal life ruling a kingdom with sung hanbin by your side?
“thank you,” you say, pulling his hand close to your lips to kiss the back of it.
he shakes his head adorably, pouting, “oh, your highness, that should be me. i should be thanking you for your consideration and time-”
“hanbin,” you stop him, “thank you. i should go now, but i thank you for everything.”
the feeling of the kiss on his hand still lingers after you’ve left him there.
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14dyh · 9 months
Text
Manic | H.Z.
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Pairing: Hange Zoë x female reader Summary: Two scientists found company with each other through their same twisted minds. Word count: 1.5k A/N: Scientist Hange is my fav genre
The research laboratory holds a wholesome, commonplace landscape. A scenery one either wishes to escape from or spend a worthless eternity into. The enormous twisted trees and primeval architecture only gave it a sense of bleak, outworn fashion. A place outclassed by its time. It held the most average people who are contented with their lives and the science they know. It made Y/N wonder what put the ingenious Hange Zoë in such a place.
Perhaps it was the strangeness of the place itself that drove their curious mind to wander there. Y/N watched in silent amazement as this new researcher came into the lab. It was a rather unusual sight to see one who was fairly young and determined to go into such a dreary place to continue their research.
Hange's biological experiments was then supported by what fund the research lab had since Hange proposed inventive and novel ideas the organization cannot refuse to let down. Y/N did her best to admire such a fascinating person up close, seeing Hange enlivened the potential she once lost upon entering the university: her insatiable, curious mind absorbed by ideas far more complex than her pragmatic nature could bear. Y/N found a similarity between her and Hange, one not familiar enough to end up tasteless nor too complex to apprehend. Both have a prized goal, and both cannot handle being suppressed. It might be disastrous that they finally have each other.
"Hey, Hange, come over here," Y/N muttered, thumbing through the papers containing the experiment results. Hange comes over and leans over her shoulder to see what part of the document she's pointing at.
"Look at the succeeding results from the fourth and fifth trials. It's growing more effective because of the solution."
Hange smirked, thumbing through the rest of the paper. "What can I say, the modifications you've made certainly improved the study," Hange's eager eyes met hers. "I couldn't believe I could meet someone as invested in this as you are."
Hange went on about their experience with the study, about having various contradicting resources that made them rely more on the theory and evidence they had at hand. They would smile thinking about the lab partners who got scared listening to their findings.
Hange leaned on the counter, "It's fascinating how your knowledge perfectly supplied mine. Like a missing-half metaphor…"
Y/N would only smile and attribute their connection to the niche interests that mainly held them close.
Hange closed the distance between them as they place a hand over hers. Y/N could feel the feverish excitement within their fingertips.
"I have something to show you tomorrow," Hange whispered. "It's a surprise. Just for you."
Y/N spent the night thinking what the surprise would be, what would be something so important that it had to be put off tomorrow. She smiled at the possibilities of what sort of creation Hange conceived in their mind. Y/N could not help the affection bubbling inside their chest. It was as though an intoxicating sense of purpose overcame her body and warmed her in and out. A strong admiration clawing inside; a creature begging to be let out into the world. Their love erases the doom, overcast skies of who she used to be. The research lab ceased to become a bleak place but became one that held someone like Hange, one whose presence commanded her to live again.
However, the morning greeted her with a louring sky, one threatening to weep a storm. The dim lights, the faint swaying trees, the muffled chatters: all wandered in her mind once again, replacing the excitement from last night. It went on and on like a sinister videotape--a bad omen.
She found Hange sitting alone beside the window in the lab with the lights turned off. It is unusual for them to sit in the dark like this, knowing that they always open all the lights, saying things like their vision will worsen if they work in a dim environment. Y/N approached them, getting closer until her hands were on either side of their shoulder. Hange's familiarity with her only showed as they laced their fingers around hers in response.
"You must be thinking about my surprise for you," Hange said and gave her a sad smile. "I'm sorry, princess, I think my surprise for you would be a tad bit delayed. I'm…well, I'm banned from the main laboratory for the time being."
Y/N shook her head lightly and laughed, "What is it this time?"
Hange, despite being prized by the research lab still receives a reprimand from the higher-ups when they break lab rules or operate something new without authorization.
Hange was silent for a moment. "I was hoping to test our solution on a human test subject."
Y/N was taken aback but not surprised to hear Hange's request. She knew this day would come, it's an inevitable fate among ambitious scientists like they are: to do something amoral for their experiments.
"I assume you did not tell them about the details of our experiments," Y/N wants to assure.
"No," Hange shook their head. "If they knew about what we're doing, suspicion would not slide off from us that easily." They paused for a moment and laughed, "Haha, we're keeping it a secret as though we're forbidden lovers or something."
Y/N could see the smile on Hange's face but she noticed the transitory gloom that passed over their eyes. Those desperate, fiery eyes were caught by conflict due to their current situation.
"It was supposed to be a surprise, you know." Their eyes are looking afar, over the gnarled trees and overgrown lawn. Just beyond the window was the outside world overcast with gloomy clouds. Aside from that, there is nothing much to see. It was a depressing view indeed. But Hange's mind was too caught up with ideas to think about such. "I know you don't appreciate surprises very much but that's only because people who have tried to surprise you have only come up with lame ideas. If I restore a dying person's life in front of you, I think you would be pretty amused." They winked.
"Well, I'd say you're right," she gave Hange a small smile.
"Remember when we first talked about this experiment?" Hange asked.
"Yes, because we talked all night and didn't get any sleep."
Hange laughed, "That's right,"
"You told me about the possibility of your solution not only to extend life but fully restore it," Y/N continued, the memory playing vividly in her head. "It was a risky experiment since it can only be conducted in dying specimens."
"Yes, that's it," Hange responded. "The higher-ups don't know the full details of the experiment, but they cannot risk letting me experiment on a dying patient. I understood, but I thought I could have persuaded them. My charm did not work this time. Sorry."
Y/N knew that despite Hange's composed demeanor, they were upset about running out of plans on how to conduct the latest experiment. They were preparing this as a surprise for Y/N, after all. Y/N could not help but notice Hange's gadabout and fierce nature dim as though a bright light that was stolen too early. There must be a way, Hange thinks as they sit together in silence.
Y/N, on the other hand, still lingers on the fascination she has for Hange. On how she was immediately swept when Hange told her their cause for pursuing such a pioneering invention. "Life and death will cease to be profound once defied. It will simplify things and eliminate all of humanity's existential dread and powerlessness." Y/N remembered Hange's hopeful smile and determined eyes as they said this. She could not let such determination dissipate just because of scientific boundaries or moral views.
Y/N leaned down and wrapped an arm around Hange before whispering, "I could bring you a human specimen tomorrow."
This bold statement astonished Hange, they furrowed their eyebrows in confusion, doubting the reality behind Y/N's words.
"You heard me, Hange," Y/N continued. "I will bring you a dying person tomorrow, and do what you will. I'll observe and take notes. We will do it in the makeshift lab in my basement. It hasn't been used for a long time but the space and materials are sufficient."
Hange's eyes grew wide in amazement, "You have an underground lab?"
As Y/N nodded, Hange could notice the deep excitement etched in Y/N's face. She has a reserved, respectable nature as a scientist, and only Hange knew how twisted her desires and fantasies could be. Hange found a vital piece within her that would complete them. No one will ever come close to the profound connection they share.
Hange pulled Y/N close, planting a chase kiss on her lips as they gathered her in their arms. The kiss was only a superficial facade that veiled their raw and earnest love for each other. The research lab where they met will remain as an accessory to the meeting of two lovers who follow each other's twisted will.
"I can't wait to do this with you," Hange smiled on her lips. "Perhaps we can delve into deeper experiments right after, hm?"
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ctheathy · 1 year
Note
HIII IS IT OK IF YOU COULD DO A YANDERE FAKER SKY FROM THE SKYVERSE MOD PLEASEE :BEGS:
Yandere Faker Sky Headcanons
Faker Sky x Reader
Yandere Headcanons
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Author’s note : I’m slightly embarrassed to say that I wasn’t even all too sure who the character was at first, I literally had to search up the mod.😭 Believe it went quite alright afterwards, though =} I hope it meets up to your expectations, Nonnie~!
Rumours have been going around, to which the darling has heard of a possible creature wandering around the woods. But instead of fearing it for their lives, they have decided on concluding it as a lonely entity and wants to keep it company. But who could have known that such a simple and sweet act was the start of a threatening and vulnerable obsession starting to grow within the being.
Faker Sky/Reader [Romantic//Platonic]
Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :
Gender-neutral darling • Possessive+Predatory behaviour • Emotional dependency • Identity theft • Mass murder • Threats • Stalking • General toxicity • Guilt tripping • Gaslighting • Implied kidnapping
The “faker” part in her name isn’t made from scratch; if anything, her true self isn’t the cute and loveable female she tries to make herself out to be at all. Instead, she is a natural predator, which immediately indicates in having predatory behaviour aswell; she can be aggressive, unpredictable and showcase incredibly possessive mannerisms torwards the things she considers her own property. Which is why we shall stick with the implication that her true appearance would be her Eclipse form, keeping her actual self in the shadows to instead copy the identity of another, shapeshifting in order to fit into the crowd’s liking. But it wasn’t always like this. It wasn’t until you decided to take action upon the news.
You would have carelessly stepped over the owned property, the curiosity pumping through your veins and no thoughts having gone torwards the presumptions of the potential threat wandering around. Having no realisation over the potential danger could actually you have put yourself in. Having no realisation over the eyes who were slowly scanning over your form, much like a hawk would, with utter disgust. Or perhaps, you just didn’t care. Whatever it was, continued to be utterly unknown to the creature watching you, it having been a fine line between both massive confusion and irritation through the inconvenience. Surely the place didn’t look all that tempting for any mortal being out there. What was a human such as yourself doing here anyways?? The creature gritted it’s teeth in annoyance at the presence, she never liked humans much. And she could’ve quickly already felt her patience starting to run out, starting to make up a plan or ten for backup on how to get you out of the picture as rapidly as possible.
...well
And that’s what slowly started creating all the difference.
That was the case until you had begun rambling about the events of your day, almost seemingly talking to thin air. You talked and talked, and the creature itself couldn’t do much more or less about it other than listen. You were a strange one, that’s to say the least. But she had strangely felt herself getting rather intrigued by the calm yet excited nature around you; she’s used to people feeling nothing but paranoid around the place, much less when the rumours had started to go around. So why are you being so peaceful about all of it? Are you truly that reckless to take the risk and spend your time in the woods alone with a rumoured threat running around like it’s nothing? She’s so put off by your confusing behaviour, and she just so happens to be caught even more off guard when you supposedly had left a handmade flower crown among the place, right for the taking. She remembers everything quite literally going in slow motion for her as you slowly had made your way torwards the exit of the woods, rotating your head back to the location for one last time and offering a gentle smile. “I’ll be back tomorrow!”
Over time she can find herself starting to look forward to your everyday little indirect meeting. She’s so used to having heard that humans are those who are judgemental, unfair and lying beings that are unconventionally weak in comparison to her own kind; an understanding darling who doesn’t show the slightest hint of fear is exactly what she desires out of the bunch! To which she honestly does not realise that her hatred torwards them would have much more gone torwards the fact that it’s all been created out of the mere assumptions that’s been made up for them instead of the genuine truth. But even so, she cannot help but feel mesmerized by you and your distinctive demeanour. Your unique perspective and her false beliefs has caused her to be completely hooked in no time
But another thing that started forming over time is how much she falls into extreme distress when her darling human takes too long to show up for the day, even an hour or so would be more than enough to have the entity searching around the place apprehensively for any possible clues for their non attendance. Which also makes the next point a massive cause of her behaviours worsening over the course of just a few weeks alone. One single day of absence causes the creature to feel both unimaginably anxious and betrayed, honestly making her incredibly selfish in a way. Made promises are taken to heart by the entity, and falling ill does not excuse you to disappear for an entire day without urgent reasonings connected to it!; in her mind, atleast. This usually causes her to plan a way to set down a trap or two for the next few days or so just so you wouldn’t be able to leave at the same time like you’d usually do. So surely expect a sudden tree to be blocking the exit when you’re trying to take your leave, or an unrecognisable trap hole to have suddenly appeared around the place out of nowhere. Your absence from the day before has been way too long for the creature already, you need to catch up on it.
In not all too much time she’d want to get to know you more through person. Having you just talk about your interests and daily experiences knowing she may not show herself, but how she’s always listening is lovely to her, but the both of you know you cannot remain in the woods for entire days at a time. She could start noticing herself starting to feel strangely empty, miserable even among all times you weren’t there with her. Your meetups aren’t enough to satisfy her anymore, which immediately worsens the already possessive feelings that were starting to bloom inside the entity. You blur her mind each and every time when you’re not in eyesight, thinking about what you’d be doing without her, if you’re thinking of her and most importantly; which disgusting beings would come in contact with you in the meantime when she’s not around. She’d come to realise that she wants to be with you on longer periods of the day, and unfortunately, she knows exactly how to get her way when she wants something.
Her shapeshifting technique comes in real handy with this one. Seemingly taking the lives of any original being to fit her own benefits, becoming close to you being the only motivation to her at this rate. She’d continue trying to get into your personal bubble in any of her disguised forms all she has to, not caring much for the consequences of the corpse count who were slowly starting to pile up. At first, there hadn’t been much luck when playing herself off as strangers, and she knew she’d have to take some different measurements in order to get to you. She’d stalk and stalk to try and get to know your personal likings as a person better in a few of her many impersonations, which would honestly remain the case until she found it. The perfect one to pose herself as. She wasn’t the “monster” everyone made her out to be anymore. Now; she was Sky. And no one would be none the wiser.
She feels slightly bad lying to you like this, walking around with some other’s identity sticking to her to fill up her own desires; but she’s positive you’d love her just as much like this-! She just isn’t ready to tell you for now, not yet. As for the behaviour in her disguised form, she finally gets to show you the love that has remained in the depths of her heart for such a long time. Using her cutesy behaviour in order to lure you right in and be as clingy as she wants to be. Surely now there also wouldn’t be many issues created if she’d go out her way to threaten those close to you in these forms. The main issue being how she doesn’t pay the consequences for any of her actions, making her all too much full of herself and overestimating her camouflages.
And who knows what she’ll do to you when given that opportunity.
She can, however, also become rather impatient when her efforts for the closure lack positive results. If you’re the kind to hold distrust torwards those who try befriending you out of the ordinary; well. You might have already just dug your own grave. She may become passive aggressive, pushy and even more disturbingly unpredictable when given this occasion for a little while. She’s incredibly assertive with her moves on you and could definitely be written off as forceful with anything she does, also being one to legitimately force herself into your comfort zone. You’d likely get scared off real fast due to how overbearing she can become at times, and because of this; She’s no better than just guilt tripping her way into your life either. Her seemingly innocent and childish nature being more than enough to easily convince those around you, turning them against your protests and gaslighting you into believing you’re the one in the wrong. But even if these wouldn’t cause you to just give into her attempts? You had always enjoyed your times right on the spot beforehand, so you’d leave her no other choice than to drag you back into the woods with her.
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supurman · 19 days
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am i hallucinating ?
how many years has it been… when clark looks back his younger years were not so far away. yet had gone in a blink of an eye. clark was a child once. and he grew into a young adult. he became a hero he was destined to be. in this long and wide turning path there was the chance to meet jason todd. so small, yet taller than dick when bruce adopted him years earlier. the world was so big with a myriad of people. any one of the many meetings could change a path to something unpredictable. in jason's case it was the best case scenario… he received father, a home, a comic book fantastical life all ahead of him. mercy from the woes of life. everything orphan could ask for. clark remembers it. the time bruce having had calling him telling clark there was a new robin and child in the manor. how he was different then dick … but his potential was just as great. it was a long phone call, actually. clark was happy for both bruce and the new robin. but bruce never was able to shake that brief tone of grief in his voice speaking of a newly adopted child with a troubled childhood. something in which bruce identified with all too well. in that brief emotional burden for bruce is why clark felt so inspired to always help him with his kids. to meet the young jason todd . exuberant, excitable, and resilient. able to turn a new leaf in stride. that was then. when clark blinks he is back in the now. thats how fast the past went and became the present.
clark had heard of this red hood in gotham. a new rogue. usually bruce always told him about the new developments in his city. not this one. it was so unlike him. but clark knew better than to pry with bruce […] it was all coincidental really. the super was flying to the bat cave and something familiar stopped him. his eyes went wide like a shark taking in the scent of blood. an unmistakable scent the shook the alien to his very core. the scent of resurrection… the super spun around in the air now frantic to find the source. somehow nothing else mattered. not bruce's request to come over. not the millions of heart beats in the city. this was his priority… he had to act fast as the rain of the night was soon setting in and once it was here it wouldn't be possible to find his target again…
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one last scent and he finds the trail he's looking for nestled in an alley. clark could feel his heart rate pick up. his jaw slightly parted. a sense of adrenaline in his heart suddenly bringing him to life as if he was chasing a ghost. no, he was chasing a ghost. his form blurs in the sky and moments later there he was landed in the near alley within a dark shadow. it stops the red hood in his tracks to turn around… then its clark who emerges slowly. the wind that comes from the front of the alley rushes into him. a tension was in the air. his approach was steady, welcoming. the red hood’s was not. although it was against clarks usual to use his xray vision to see who he was facing, but all gloves were off in his hearts desire to dig up coffins of the past. he sees it now. he sees him now. quietly. so quietly clark says only between them.
❝ jason… ❞
it seemed the whole city was in a stand still. that beyond the entrance and exit of this alley was now nothing else […] clarks hands tighten at his sides, his finger tips clawing at their palms. a sign of stress. this was him. this was that robin now. standing before him. but his wings were clipped and he was something fallen from grace. the red hood now. and it seemed he wasn't happy to see clark. he can see it in his stance, his tightened muscles ready to react … his furrowed brows. its like a dagger to the heart seeing that expression look back at him. it was a far cry from what clark remembers. those wide large eyes looking at him with misty tears hanging from their lashes. so overjoyed to meet the superman! that's the memory he's clinging to. but within his fingers those memories feel as if they becoming ash that blows in a westward wind. unable to grab them no matter how much he desperately throws his hands into the air, grasping, clawing. ( still, what ash remains will be placed in an urn. ) a heavy breath leaves kal. there was a ghost before him. how should he know what to say ? he has so much he feels he could just plead out unto him. guilt. happiness. regret. love. but none of it would make it to jason. he just knows resurrection has not been kind to him.
a unsure step forward. jason doesn't step back. instead he stands his ground. a wolf snarling. not welcoming, neither willing to run. clark swallows his decisions hesitantly. this was his one chance to speak. uncertainty took hold of him. ❝ you're alive… i'm just. i don't know. i'm sorry… i ❞ jason's interrupts clark harshly. he doesn't want his pity. he doesn't want no ones pity. impervious skin is no match to hate from a loved one he could not save… ❝ no no i don't mean it like that. please what happened ? why this ? you didn't have to come back alone. not like this. not able to live, and not able to rest in peace. please please, i just want to help -
when clark smelled him once again not he was no longer mystified by a familiar scent clouding his judgment, but welcomed to a harsh reality. jason has anxiety and adrenaline in his blood showing his stark apprehension to kal. more over, there was someone else's blood on him. the smell of gun smoke fresh all over. and munitions that could take on anyone the entire night. this was a far cry from anything he was taught back then so long ago… no no no. ❝ i'm sorry. i'm sorry. it's my fault - i'm a hero. i was a hero to you. but i couldn't save you. please don't go we can talk about this. ❞
the moment is burning away furiously and quickly. finally the rain sets in. it washes over them both in a sudden drop of heavy drops. a crack of thunder causes clark to wince too loud for someone like him. and in that moment he opens his eyes … jason is gone. the super panics. ❝ wait, wait don't go ! ❞ hectically he darts into the sky spinning around amongst a high point. his xray vision scanning anything and everything. gotham however was too covered in lead within every building that he could not see through most of what he looked at. the rain now too heavy where no scent could be picked up … it was over.
❝ JA- ❞ he doesn't shout his name. something in clark makes him hesitate. a tightening in his heart. the super could only look down. in a rare moment […] he seemed hopeless. all he could utter was 2 more syllable. ❝ son. son… ❞
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@diedrobin
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nightmarist · 10 months
Text
now that i actually have a minute let me go on a (positive) tangent about how much I Loved the epilogue party.
I love that its so sweet and silly for Grandpa Withers to throw us a reunion party. I did a version letting Karlach die, and a version where we went to Avernus. In the death version, he asks us several questions about us and how we're doing, about her absence, and how much we miss her, and even makes a Joke in order to help us feel better. It was genuinely the sweetest thing for the bag of bones.
I howled and wanted to throw something in pure joy when Halsin gave us a whittled duck. I WANT that duck. I want to paint it. It's so sweet he gets to have fun with the kids under his ward and his version of balance isn't pure nature, it's the challenge of nature and civilization working together.
My Shadowheart got her parents back and I just love that she decided to live on a little abandoned cottage with them, making apple cider. Getting a letter for her from Nocturne was lovely, I hope they could be friends again someday.
I LOVED that Wyll decided to be a ranger. I think that suits him so well. I want to do a new run with him as a ranger - I don't think I've ever played one, even in DnD so I don't know how they work, all I know is they get animal companions and "favored enemies" which I think suits his folk hero and adventuring background well. I also just think its the cutest thing he was SO excuted to share his stories and adventures with us, he gives you the Biggest, Wettest Puppy Eyes known to Faerun and asks "Please?" if he could tell you a story. I thought I was going to die.
In my Astarion Romance Ending, and sadly Karlach dies, I initially chose I wanted to help him find a way to walk in the sun again (and tbh I guess it depends on your DM but Wish or True Resurrection could possibly do the trick to cure vampirism, but "cure vampirism" and "stand in the sun without dying" are two different asks, Wish might be able to fix the former if some enchantment or enchanted item doesn't). Anyway, it was interesting to see him a little excited if not desperate to want to look for a potential aid. In the Avernus ending I loved that he accepted the shadows and darkness as part of himself, it was a nice juxtaposition without necessarily making it "bad" for the player and him to want to help him walk in the sun again. It was rather bittersweet to see him in an ended romance but still call you pet names.
My Gale became Dekarios the Divine, the Galerian God of Ambition. I tried to find a way to prevent it but it seems te only way (I think, anyway) is to prevent him from acquiring the Book about Karsus. Every permutation led him to becoming a God, and it was so cold. I LOVED this ending, as much as I hated what Gale became. It really turned the dial up on his hubris and ego. He hadn't bothered to even visit his mother, and Tara (rightfully) scolded us, and asked us to visit his mother to "hold on to" the old Gale. It was really sad. As a Warlock, and my Tav being Ambitious (and would have encouraged Astarion to Ascend if it were not for a bug preventing the ritual) he asked Gale if he could potentially be patron / find a better patron. Gale said it would take a few millennia for Ao to allow such direct contact. And it was Alarming to hear (and fascinating) that he has worshipers primarily located in Thay.
I have NOT seen Gale's alternate endings yet, I'll be doing more playthroughs as soon as I figure out who tf I want to play next.
My Lae'zel became the new diplomat betweeh the two Gith clans, to unite the sky. I was obsessed with I saw the opprtunity to give her that. When it came up as an option after orpheus (whom I convinced not to die after he became an Illithid), i wanted to give that woman Everything. So I encouraged her to take up the sword and Orpheus' offer and I felt SO PROUD when she called his dragon(s) and stood on one's back like she'd been admiring since Day Fucking One. SO. PROUD.
I saw two separate letters from Dammon depending n Karlach's alive-or-dead status. He sends his condolences to us if she died and blames himself for not trying harder, dedicating his life to working with Infernal Iron. If he's alive, he asks s to ask Karlach to write to him, its very simple but I think it's so sweet. She's just so fun and happy, and relays to us that there may be a way to fix her engine with blueprints she's found the location of, which sounds so hopeful without actually giving us a "canon" (similar to astarion's "maybe there's a way to walk in the sun" - i prefer the ambiguity than total fix-its). The hope feels better than the confirmation, tbh.
It was also interesting, i think, that with the a non-karlach romance there's the addition of after I help Karlach with her engine in the aforementioned fixing plot she's found, I could potentially return to Astarion's side so it's a lot less dreary feeling like we're both permanently trapped in the Hells and instead the hopeful promise of a future where Karlach can return to the surface alive and forever well, and we can return to our loved ones.
This directly connected to one of the new Raphael epilogues - I LOVED how threatening Raphael was with it. On one hand, Asmodeus would tear him to shreds if he tried to overtake the Hells even with the crown, that I feel is inevitable. But either Gale as his Ambitious Patron of sorts, or perhaps as a distraction (remember: even gods can die) tearing apart the pantheons, he could very well take advantage of that to overtake Asmodeus, I think. It seems even more on par with his style of planning, he seems very min-maxed when it comes to working towards a goal - the less he has to do himself, the better.
YOU CAN HUG THEM. I talked to Halsin first and I screamed when "you look like you need a hug" came up. My god. I went to shadowheart after and saw you could hug her, too, and I wasn't expecting it, I genuinely just thought it'd be a Halsin thing only bc he just seems like the obvious "gives good (bear) hugs" choice. Oh my god you can hug your party members. I lost my fucking mind.
Also, Milil..... very nice little lore, I loved how excited he got when we passed our check if we knew who he was. The floating instruments around him was a lovely little touch.
Getting letters and newspaper clippings from all our saved comrades was incredible. I Liked everyone's letters yes but i was MOST excited and happy to hear from our tieflings after they've been through Literal Hell and back. Rolan got an interview, Lakrissa bought Alfira a house and dedicated a plaque to us for their music school, Bex and Danis opened a bakery together. The tieflings collectively built a whole new district for themselves in Baldur's Gate. It'd be excellent for comradery - that they can share with one another as a tiefling community, weave a rich tapestry of tiefling culture, to have people to be safe around, and people who know what its like whether theyre from Elturel or not.
ZEVLOR MY BELOVED. I was so happy to hear from him. He said his hands shook the whole time he stayed at the temple "with the other veterans" - other tiefling hellriders - and it was rather bittweserrt, both inspirign an sad to read his hands only stopped shaking when the city shook, and all the Rider paladins restored their oaths by being devoted to preventing Baldur's Gate from becoming the next Elturel. He said "Come see us, when you can" OF COURSE Im going to visit, oh my god. It was just nice to hear he's doing fine and is volunteering at the temple that helped him.
I loved the epilogue so fucking much. It felt really nice.
I like to think that our heroes do it often, maybe annually or just casually see each other on adventures. maybe an occasional "Hey, I'm on a bit of a quest and need the expertise of my favorire [class]" it felt so cozy.
Did Withers put up all those decorations himself. I Love the old bag of bones so much. He just wanted to give us a little party. Let me hug Withers please he deserves it.
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bleachbleachbleach · 2 years
Text
went for a jog and all I got was this thought experiment
This is not a very hinged post, even by the typically low standards for hingedness on this blog, so I’m just going to. Put a cut in here nice and early.
It’s deer season right now, so I while I was out for a jog this evening I heard a gunshot and got to thinking, like, what does a bankai release sound like, and from how far away can it be heard?
I mean, maybe it depends on the bankai, though in generally they tend to be pretty flashy in general, and everyone’s gotta release, regardless of what happens after that.
We know that when actually fighting (with either bankai or shikai) friendly fire is a big consideration, to the extent that there are protocols for implementing third-party shields/etc. that don’t have to be put up by the combatants themselves--like when Yumichika orders a bunch for the Advance Team in real-time. And of course we end up with these 1v1 fights all the time, for reasons of tradition and practicality both. (Though the fact that so many of the fights during Fake Karakura are SEQUENTIAL rather than simultaneous cracks me up, because they really all just watched Ikkaku lose that pillar, huh??? Even if these fights take place over a matter of minutes rather than the 45min they feel like to us, still--!!)
This isn’t about sound, specifically, but thinking through what information we do have about bankai/shikai distances: People were fighting pretty far away from each other in that arc, given the entirety of Fake Karakura was below them. Kyouraku and Starrk got to see some snow crystals, but that’s it, so I assume they were 3 ri or more from Hitsugaya and Halibel:
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[Bleach 132]
NB: The 3 ri is a radial measurement, as he says “3 ri in all (4) sides/directions.”
This very random number is honestly a neat detail--TO ME--because that’s around the average size of a storm cell! (Possibly related, but I was recently told by a child that I spend an above average amount of time on the Weather App, and that instead I should look at TikToks in bed like a normal person.) Don’t get me started on the fascinating history of antiquated Japanese units of measurement, because that was also very interesting to me. I think the wildest part is that there are measurements for area rather than just length, but since Hitsugaya doesn’t use them does this mean that Soul Society was just like “fuck it, we have had to change calendars and writing systems and units of measurement and vocabularies TOO MANY TIMES to keep up with these fucking living human people, we are eliminating some of these!!!” because boy nothing would excite me more than reading the AP Style Guide for Soul Society-- 
But anyway, that’s just what we know about the potential impacts and their range. I want to know about sound! How far away can you hear that release? Can you hear it from as far away as a rifle? As far away as thunder? How much of an impact re: temperature/relative humidity would tensou juurin have on these distances? What about standing up in the sky vs. on the ground where all the buildings and trees are?
I don’t have any desire to know these things for applied use--this is one of those things where making up the questions is way more interesting than any answers--but yes my jog was very cold and uphill and I had a lot of time to think about ephemera why do you ask
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bewitchingivy · 2 years
Note
Hello
My initials are TFA ♌️
I mainly used tarot
🦄
I chose: what you should know about them, first impression, what they love about you
Your future boyfriend first impression of you
Chaser
-Coming for you
-Determined
-Pursuit
Priority
-Family
-Provider
-Make the effort
Third party
-Confusion
-Soul contract
-Mercury retrograde
Boundaries
-Stop
-Speak up
-Self discipline
Competition
- eyes on another
- Multiple options
Lessons
Self development
Self growth
Karmic partner
Past life ties
Lessons
Change
This has a feeling they already know you or no of you. Their first impression is right off the bat they’re going to know what they want which is you.. they’re going to feel a need to go after you. However, something will hold them back. A potential blockage. They don’t know if you’re still healed or completely moved on from this past partner or if you’re ready to start over just yet.
What you should know about them
- very introverted
- A bit childlike or may be younger than you
- Has had ALOT of bad relationships where they break up and get back together but the communication was terrible
- This has left him very cold to relationships, he may have been just hooking up and doing situationships and not really looking for a soulmate.. than you’re going to enter his life
What they love about you
- they love how when they’re stressed they’re able to rely on you, you’re always there to help them whenever they’re feeling mentally “not okay” — yes they may suffer from anxiety
I’m seeing they have deep rooted family issues and someone’s childhood may be a bit compromised because someone was always missing ( like a parental figure) so they are able to relive their inner child through you.. through this marriage (yes your future partner is the one you’re going to marry)
Y’all are always going to be travelling, INTIMACY WILL BE A HUGE FACTOR, and you’re going to act — or maybe they see you as someone that’s going to guide them in a way.. they’re going to feel so safe
❛ love again ; entry #001
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Hello! Thank you so much for joining my game and for following the rules <3 As promised, here's your reading! I hope you'll enjoy it :)  Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn't!
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his first impression of you:
i wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red Oh, gosh. do I even need to say something about this? The song says it all, HAHA. But anyways, just switch girlfriend in the title to boyfriend LMAO. Meeting you for the first time would leave him so awestruck and drawn to you. I get the feeling that he will be very curious about you and would like to get to know you more because you're so intriguing to him. He will literally crush on you the first time you meet him. There's a high possibility that this will start off as a friendship at first because he wants to take his time to get to know you more :)
your first date together:
Silent Night by Taylor Swift Wow. This is so specific. Christmas. Or around December, winter/holiday season. The two of you will start the date early in the day, like around late morning, and it'll end at night. I'm even getting that you will both get home at 12 am, LOL. But I'm certain to say that the two of you will have so much fun that day, and you will just feel so happy. It'll feel like time didn't pass by at all. You might do some holiday shopping together. 
what you should know about him:
closure by Taylor Swift This person has gone through a lot of hardships, particularly in his relationships. But then he's finally learned how to put himself first and say no to what he doesn't deserve. He learned to respect himself by not letting anyone cross his boundaries. If a toxic person is in his life or someone has treated him unfairly, he won't second guess his decision to cut them out of his life.
what he loves about you:
Alligator Sky by Owl City He will love how you are full of surprises to him, it excites him to know new things about you. It's like you're this mystical world he's just entered, and he can't wait to explore everything about the world. He loves how you just make him laugh and be happy like a little kid. 
how would he show his love to you:
Easy On Me by Adele He will be gentle and soothing towards you. He will make sure that you're relaxed and well rested after a long day. I get the feeling that his love languages might be acts of service, physical touch, and/or words of affirmation. Just say the word when you need him, and he will literally be there for you in no time.
signs you see about him:
Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny I saw 11:11 and 333 while doing you're reading! Therefore I'll take it that those are your signs. When you're with him, you feel the most confident. You might notice that it's him since he's a very attentive person towards the people he cares about you; especially you. 
a message from him:
Make You Feel My Love by Adele  [Good golly, we've got two songs by Adele in this reading. Maybe he likes listening to her songs? You should definitely check out this song, it really matches with the things I've said about how he shows his love to you.] "I still have many things I need to heal and let go of. I wanna work on myself first, so that once we've come together, I can be the best version of myself to you. Keep on giving love to yourself and doing the things that bring you joy, I have no doubt that the things we do out of love will lead us together someday. I promise I'll always be here for you."
my feedback:
I have heard a lot of times from other readings that he's childlike, he has old relationships that somehow left him wounded, and damn travel? I skimmed through people's entries in my inbox and I noticed that a couple of you said about travel! Very spot on! :) A lot of things that you said do resonate to my current situation right now. I can't help but notice that I relate to him, and I reckon we must be mirroring each other! Thank you so much for the reading!
Please don't forget to leave a feedback; tell me what resonates and what doesn't, and whatever you want to add! :)
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servin-up-surveys · 3 months
Text
survey #216
What is the last song that you had on repeat? Uh I feel like it was "Blind and Frozen" by Beast In Black.
Do you believe that one day the sun will burn out? ... No shit? This is scientific fact? Like it's not gonna happen in my lifetime, but it WILL happen.
What’s your homepage when you bring up the internet? Just Google.
Have you ever cracked your phone screen before? I haven't, actually.
Do you like Train’s music? I do. They write some of my all-time favorite love songs.
Have you ever seen the movie High School Musical? Yes. My younger sister (who I shared a room with) was particularly obsessed with it.
Are you excited to pick out your wedding dress one day? I am, but I'm also not looking forward to trying multiple on and possibly being picky. I can't imagine myself being one of those people that tries on dozens and dozens, though.
Does it bother you when an artist remake a song that one has previously done? Not at all. I like plenty of covers, especially if I enjoy the original song.
How many times have you had sex within the past two years? Guesstimate? Actual sex, zero. For reasons that are sometimes very hard to deal with.
Can people read your facial expressions easily? If so, why is this? Yes, because I'm very bad at hiding my feelings on my face.
When was the last time your area had a tornado warning, if ever? I can't remember. We get plenty of tornado watches this time of year, but warnings are rarer.
Does it scare you when the sky gets really cloudy and dark during the day? Yes, because I'm terrified of the potential of tornadoes. Thunderstorms themselves don't scare me, it's just the fact that they can spawn tornadoes.
Have you ever ran from the police? No.
Have you ever watched The Walking Dead? I haven't.
Do you like horses? I do.
Snakes? I love snakes.
Cats? I sure do.
Have you ever driven an electric car? No.
Have you ever eaten moussaka? I don't even know what that is.
What breed was the last dog you saw? Chihuahua.
Do you ever fact-check the things you read on the internet? Not everything, I don't regularly care enough about what I might randomly read, but especially if it's a topic I'm invested in, I certainly will.
Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? No.
What was the last caffeinated drink you had? Mountain Dew.
With a fried egg, do you prefer the yolk runny or set? I won't eat a fried egg because I cannot stand yolk like that.
Have you ever planned a wedding? Not really. I mean sure, I have plans for my own, but we're definitely not at the "real" planning stage yet.
Do you have any pimples right now? No.
Have you ever painted a rock? I don't think so.
Do you ever shop at Aldi? Do you even have one nearby? There's one very near here, and Mom goes there rarely. She loves the prices there compared to elsewhere, Walmart is just easier for us.
What are some of your favourite snacks? Right now I'm in an insane pickle episode. In general though, I love chips, or Cheez-its. Small candies that come in packages like peach rings or Skittles I also like a lot. We don't tend to keep snacks like that in the house though, so I'm more likely to have something like a cashew bar or Special K blueberry snack bar... thingy.
What has been the best thing to happen to you in the past year? Honestly, becoming more aware of and better understanding my autism. I've come to accept myself much more, instead of just thinking I'm fucking weird with stupid quirks that could never make sense to anyone else. I still want an official diagnosis, but I firmly believe I don't need it, at least for myself.
Are you prone to jealousy? Nope. It's happened, but I definitely don't experience it much.
How did you get through the lowest point in your life? Look, to be totally real with you, I was too afraid to actually kill myself. I had no other choice but to just ride it out.
Have you ever been someone's first love? I suppose possibly Sara, but idk. She dated people before me, but I don't remember her ever mentioning truly loving somebody.
How old were you when you got your first gaming console, and what kind was it? The OG PlayStation. Idk how old I was, I think we had it when I was born.
What is your favorite food to put gravy on? I hate gravy.
Do you know anyone from Canada? Yes.
What's your opinion on astrology? It's dumb as hell and for insanely gullible people that generally don't want to take responsibility for their own flaws.
Do you use TikTok? No.
Do you ever get super bad buzzing in your ears? Not really, no. I've had rare instances of minor ringing, but nothing severe, for which I'm very thankful.
Do you know anyone who has actually been in an alcohol or drug-related crash? I do. She lost her best friend, who was in the car with her, because of it. They were both high, or possibly drunk, one or the other. It took years upon years upon years until she seemed okay again.
Did you celebrate Father's Day? No. I sent him a message and was happy to hear he hadn't touched a cigarette in two days, but that was all. We've usually gone out to lunch, but my sisters never mentioned it this year.
Do you hate how being bisexual is like a trend? It's not a trend, shut the fuck up.
Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No, this would be insanely uncomfortable for me.
Do you have a good relationship with your first love? We don't have a relationship, period.
What is something you’re currently nervous about? This weekend. I'm going to my first Pride event ever but it's supposed to be scorchingly hot and I have hyperhidrosis.
Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? I always am.
Are you experiencing problems within a current relationship? No.
Do you find that caffeinated or alcoholic drinks make you pee more than normal? Water makes me pee more than anything else. I don't drink alcohol enough to have noticed for that, but there are sometimes where if I drink a soda, I have to go to the bathroom pretty quickly.
Do you still enjoy watching Disney movies? I sure do.
What are some interests you have in common with your parents? My mom likes writing, even if she doesn't really do it. When she was younger, she also enjoyed drawing, but that's another thing she doesn't do anymore. I *enjoy* fishing like my dad, even though I don't think fishing for fun is moral.
How old were you when your parents trusted you to stay home alone all day? I don't remember.
Do you drink more or less water than is recommended? Technically still less, I'm sure. I think the very vast majority of people don't drink the amount that is technically advised.
Do you go on vacation with your family a lot? Where was the last place you went? We never go on vacations. At least, Mom doesn't, and I live with/under her. We can't afford to.
What do your parents think about piercings and tattoos? Do you agree with them? My mom doesn't care. She doesn't LIKE all piercings or tattoos, but she has nothing against them in general. I'm like my mom in that respect, but I'm even more open and accepting of them. My dad doesn't seem too bothered by piercings, he was never against me getting any, but he was shocked and nervous when he found out about me getting a tattoo. Mine don't seem to bother him though.
What are your religious beliefs? Are these the same as your parents’? I am an atheist, but sometimes with some agnostic-leaning wonderings. Both my parents are Christians, which I am definitely not.
Do you remember The Land Before Time movies? Who was your favorite character? I do, but I think I only saw the first two, maybe three. I know I loved them, though. I don't remember my favorite character as a child, maybe Littlefoot.
What’s your favorite genre of book to read? Animal fantasy.
Are you one of those people who texts back instantly? Almost always.
What’s your favourite place to get pizza from? Domino's.
Think of the last verbal argument you were in; what caused it? My mom having main character in life syndrome and refusing to even entertain the possibility of her ever, ever being wrong. I had to blow the fuck up to Girt, she and I have butted heads a lot lately and I finally snapped in half. I hadn't been that angry in god knows how long.
Does your refrigerator have one door or two? Two, side-by-side. Left is the freezer, right is the fridge.
Do you smoosh bugs, or just let ‘em go? I tend to ignore them, but if it's a spider, I will try to take it outside so Mom doesn't kill it. I never kill bugs, unless it's like, an ant in the house. Absolutely never, ever outside.
Would you ever kiss someone with facial hair? I've done this plenty and would keep doing it. Sometimes Girt has stubble anyway and it doesn't bother me at all.
Have you ever drooled in public? I feel like I have a little bit at least once while sleeping in the college library.
Have you ever been bitten by a dog? No.
Would you ever shave your head? No, not me personally. Female-presenting individuals can look amazing with no (or very little) hair, but it's definitely not for me.
Would you ever meet someone you met online? I've done this before and want to meet at least Mazzy and Tez. Shaz would be amazing, too, as well as Sam and his wife.
Where do you wanna live when you grow up? The more mountainous area of NC. Blue Ridge Mountains would be the absolute dream.
Would you get married if you could right now? I'd get engaged. I'd like to lose weight before my wedding... but by now idk if it's ever gonna fuckin' happen.
What color are your eyes? Grayish blue.
Who was your first good kiss with? Jason was my first kiss and he was perfectly fine at kissing.
Would you kiss this person again? If I actually loved him again, yes, but I will never let myself have that kind of relationship with him ever again.
Who was your hottest bf/gf besides the one you have now? Jason.
How often do you drink water? A lot a day, I don't actually track it.
Name something that is on your bedroom wall? Above my bed and framing some plant art I have up is a branching string of circular lights that's meant to look like a vine or something. I only really turn the lights on if I'm reading in bed, but it's super cozy.
If you could paint your walls any color what would it be? Because I'm going for a nature theme in there right now, I'd probably go for a light green.
What are you drinking right now? Raspberry lemonade-flavored water.
What does your phone case look like? I don't have a case. I'd like one, but that's not something I can just casually afford to buy and it's certainly not important enough to be on my gift wishlist.
What do you take the most pictures of? My cat, lol.
If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be? Dance.
When was the last time you made dinner? Tonight; Mom was too tired to cook. I just put popcorn shrimp in the air fryer.
Who do you want to be buried next to? I'd prefer to be cremated and have my ashes spread than be buried.
Do you have any hickeys on you? No.
Who did you last share a bed with? Girt.
Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? As of this year, yes.
What are you listening to right now? I'm watching some of John Wolfe's Baldur's Gate 3 LP. I'm not very far from being done, I just ventured into watching other stuff for a while.
Do you get blizzards where you live? No.
What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual information/past.
What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Handmaid's Tale.
Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No.
Have you ever saved someone’s life? She says so, but more than anything it was me coincidentally sending a message at the right time.
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casspurrjoybell-29 · 10 months
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Forging Ties - Chapter 27 - Part 2
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*Warning Adult Content*
The sky was clear and the wind was still but the ocean was angry.
The ship rose up and then rode the curve of a wave back down again.
Skye was up in the crowsnest watching everyone else get nervous but he thought it was fun.
It was a welcome distraction from feeling sad.
Skye jumped down from the crowsnest and landed silently.
He followed Sera up to the front of the ship where Mirriam was waiting for her.
Everett and the robot were hard at work, constantly turning the wheel or adjusting the sails.
"I'm not sure what to trust," Sera told Mirriam. "I'll watch us sail straight forward and our equipment will tell us we've done a one-eighty and are suddenly going in the opposite direction. It makes more sense that the equipment would be playing up, but I know these waters have confused ships that don't have any of that just as much."
Mirriam stared out at the angry ocean and shook her head.
"Both could be wrong. We can't possibly be turning like the equipment says. That doesn't make any sense. You can't sail towards the sun, completely turn around, and still be sailing towards the sun."
"Magic doesn't like to follow rules."
"What do you think, Skye?" Mirriam asked.
Skye frowned.
He had been quite happy believing he had gone unnoticed even though he was standing right next to them and making no effort to hide.
"Magic is very mysterious."
"What do you think we should trust?" Mirriam clarified. "Our instincts, the equipment or something else?"
"Me," an unfamiliar voice said from behind them and they all jumped as they turned to see a teenager with dark skin and black, springy hair.
Sera put herself between the stranger and Mirriam.
"Who are you and what are you doing on my ship?"
"Skye knows," the stranger said.
Skye did know. Skye remembered a picture in a newspaper.
"Kit."
"A friend of yours?" Mirriam asked.
"A ghost," Skye said. "Don't worry about it. Which way should we sail, Kit?"
"Go to the front of the ship and look over the side into the water."
Skye ran over and leapt up to perch upon the railing.
Mirriam quickly followed in her chair and grabbed hold of a fistful of the back of Skye's shirt, though he felt perfectly secure.
A green glow came from beneath the water and as Skye watched, a strange but familiar creature that looked a little like a whale emerged from beneath the water before diving back down.
He remembered being a little human boy and staring in awe at the same creature as everyone panicked around him even though it hadn't done a single thing to harm them.
He remembered the mournful song the creature had sung to him as he had drowned.
"An old friend of yours," Kit said, suddenly beside them. "It'll lead the way if you tell it to. If you vouch for the others and tell it that they're good people."
"It's okay," Skye called out to the creature. "These are my friends. Can you show us the way? Some of my friends are trying to get home."
The creature breached again.
Its glowing green skin was scarred and covered with barnacles.
It let out a deep, resonant noise that Skye felt in the pit on his belly and then it turned abruptly and began swimming off to the side.
The moment Sera saw that, she leapt into action, reassigning Everett and the robot to the task of following the creature.
Skye turned to ask Kit if it was leading them in the right direction now but they had disappeared.
Ghosts were funny like that.
Skye retreated back to the crowsnest to watch as the news of the creature and a potential safe passage spread around the ship but he was finding it hard to share in the excitement.
He wasn't even sure he wanted to arrive at their destination.
The sadness wasn't going away and as soon as they got to where they were going, everyone would leave the ship and be distracted.
He would probably just wander off and forget again.
There was a certain allure to that, to the idea of escaping all these feelings but the last time he'd given into that he'd lost over a hundred years.
Mirriam was right, too.
All that forgetting hadn't gotten him anywhere.
When he'd finally remembered, it had still hurt just as much.
It was also just a waste of a life and one Nim had given his own to save.
He was sure that if Nim had been on his own, if he hadn't been worried about protecting Skye, he could have survived the situation.
If he'd just run past really fast, he probably would have been okay.
Sure, he would have had to have abandoned all his things but he would have survived.
But then, maybe Skye could have escaped the same way if he hadn't been holding the egg but he'd only had the egg in the first place because Aris had sacrificed herself to protect them and give Nim enough time to shift.
Friendship was complicated and what happened hadn't really been anyone's fault except for those humans but at the end of the day, Nim was dead and Aris was a baby and Skye was just a very sad person.
Well, they hadn't reached their destination yet.
Maybe he'd feel less sad by the time they arrived.
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starredeclipse · 2 years
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Hard Beginnings
(A story about my raptor OCs, there's a bit of death but it happens in the life of a Raptor, enjoy)
Kalypso hadn't always been alone, she had loving parents, a nice place to live and just a overall happy life but not everything stays so happy and cheerful.
The young raptor over time had grown and matured as a female of her species and now…it was time to leave the nest and adventure onto a path of her very own.
Raptors don't often leave there parents pack however she had no choice, prey was scarce during this time period and with her not being amongst the high ranking members the pack viewed her as just another mouth to feed. She wasn't the only low ranking member to leave or get kicked out but….to her this felt more personal, so the day she said goodbye to her parents was the day she never looked back.
Ever since then she had been a squatter, a term used to describe a raptor with no pack or territory that they have claimed as there own.
Kalypso walked the lands hunting when she could but her dazzling scales made things difficult when they caught the light, it made her easier to see despite most of her prey being colorblind. The female raptor sniffed around taking in different scents that told her…that a male had passed through here, this was exciting news! As she had wanted to form her own pack and settle down somewhere to start a family so she tracked the male down, she found him drinking at a stream, his colors were appealing enough to her for a potential partner so she went over and drank from the stream too despite not being thirsty.
The male looked at her, examining every part of her with his eyes and apparently he liked what he saw as he initiated a conversation with her. "So you come here often?" He asked her, a obvious pickup line, a over used one at that. Kalypso lifted her head from the water deciding to finish her drink a bit early to reply "Not really, I haven't explored this territory much" she said cheerfully, her day hadn't been so bad for what it usually was.
"Oh? Well how about I show you around then, prey is good here but there hiding spots are tricky to find" he offered this to her and she gladly accepted. This was the first of many mistakes, at first it was just casual talk between them but then they became much more.
Looking back now, Kalypso saw the obvious signs but at the moment…it seemed like true love. He was charming, he spoke of wanting a family and they even settled down in a area and built a nest together. She still remembers those nights vividly, the way the night sky would look as they gazed up at it, the rare shooting star that she wished upon each time. The way he made up shapes in the sky and made up storys to match them, most of these storys were silly and they made her laugh.
But then Kalypso laid a single egg, she cherished it, she loved it despite not having met the child contained within yet. Her so called 'mate' did not feel the same way though…after this egg came into the world he became anxious, nervous, and fidgety….and then…one day…he just left.
He was supposed to bring back food and so Kalypso waited, keeping her egg warm but by the fourth day she became scared and worried something bad had happened to her mate, she was so hungry but her egg hadn't hatched…she couldn't leave it to go find him or even hunt so the female raptor thought of what to do, she wasn't going to leave her first ever egg behind so she looked above her, to the tree that dangled vines and large leaves, she looked and thought before…a idea struck!
A idea she's never seen done before. Kalypso left her egg only going a few inches from it to gather these vines and leaves before she came back and laid the materials out, she wasn't sure how to make her idea happen or if it was even possible but she rather give it a try then not try at all, she got these smarts from her parents, they always had bizarre ideas but even if the idea was bizarre it was still worth trying. So Kalypso messed around with the vines and leaves, at first it was just a mess that looking like much of anything but then…she started tying the vines together into sections. It was…a slow and frustrating process but then Kalypso had what resembled a net of sorts, she tied the loose ends to form a handle of sorts but then she realized the handle was too short so she untied, added more vines to it and tied it back together and this time the handle fit over her head and one arm. Success! She thought before she put leaves and bedding into the net part and then the moment of truth…she put her egg inside of it. It stated and the vines appeared to be able to stand the weight of the egg itself "I'll call it, the egg carrier" she said to herself as she began to walk, track her 'mates' now old scent through the territory. She feared her egg would get broken if she tried to hunt so for now…she would stay hungry despite how much it hurt her.
Kalypso traveled for a while until his scent became strong and her exhausted body suddenly got a jolt of energy as she walked faster. The scent got stronger as she got closer until she came to another stream and…saw him chatting with another female raptor that was eating from a large prey item, at first Kalypso was so happy he was okay! But then…she recognized the words he used and the way he acted towards this female raptor…it was the way he acted when he met her and the gravity of what was going on sunk in faster than expected.
She came out of the bushes and he whirled around in shock and surprise as she snarled at him "Where have you been?! It's been four…five…days! You said you were going to hunt for prey and then I find you dating around with another female! While I'm keeping OUR egg warm and alive!" The shock of her words made him freeze and the other female raptor turned on him "You said you were single!" She snapped with a growl and he quickly realized he had two angry females with him so he did the only logical thing, he booked it, running for the hills to never be seen again.
After he left Kalypso's anger turned into a deep sorrow and the other raptor looked at her "Hey…" she said more awkwardly before she dragged the food over to her "You should eat something, I'm guessing you haven't left you're nest since he left?" She asked her and Kalypso nodded letting out a thankful thank you to this stranger before she started eating some of the food, goodness she was absolutely starving!
"So uh, where's you're egg you mentioned, is it nearby? You probably shouldn't leave it alone for long or those egg theifs will get it" the stranger asked before Kalypso looked at her "oh no I refused to leave my egg so…i made something that I could hold it with" she motioned to the carrier and the other female looked surprised "Wait it's in there? So you like…made this green thing?" The female seemed confused so Kalypso explained "Oh that's a genius idea! But yeah, it would make hunting a big risk for it breaking. Hey how about this, since lover boy there decided to mess with us, how about we stick together for a while? I'm not…really experienced with being alone and…on my own and you look like you need some help" the offer was something the mother raptor couldn't pass up so despite them being strangers…Kalypso accepted.
After that they stayed with eachother, Kalypso learned that her name was Pandora and the two of them became very close and for a short period of time everything was okay…but unknown to them tragedy would strike.
One night a storm…a really bad one came crashing through the territory, the trees swayed and thunder along with lightning boomed and crackled the sky above them. "Come on, in there!" Pandora called to Kalypso, she had to yell because of how loud the storm was! Kalypso managed to get into the cave in time as she heard a tree fall down from behind her, the mother raptor panted from how fast she had ran "This storm sure is crazy huh Pandora?" Kalypso said casually "Pandora?" Not getting a reply was strange so she turned around and…Pandora wasn't with her. "Pandora?!" She called into the storm and poked her head out of the cave, visibility wasn't great but between the flashes of lightning she could see her friend…her friend was under the fallen tree "PANDORA!!" Kalypso cried rushing outside and over to her friend but she was long dead, her body crushed and eyes perfectly lifeless. The mother raptor held her egg carrier close and wailed into the sky until she got so cold she had to return to the cave to wait out the storm. She stayed there and grieved for three days until she could muster the strength to go back to her friend and there she saw her friend still stuck underneath the fallen tree.
Kalypso didn't want to leave her like this so through tears of sorrow Kalypso dug and dug until Pandoras lifeless body fell into the hole she had dug, it was a deep hole a the mother raptor didn't have the strength to drag her out of the hole so instead she plucked flowers from the areas nearby and threw them onto her friends body, she said words full of grief as she said goodbye to her dear friend before she pushed the dirt back in and rolled stones on top creating a grave that predators would struggle to dig back up, after that she rested eating the occasional fanged rat that ran her way until…her egg started cracking on it's own, at first Kalypso panicked as she took her egg out of its carrier and onto a patch of grass.
The raptor mother watched as a foot popped out of the egg and then a claw followed by a head with big eyes that looked up at her, Kalypso looked down at her newly hatched child, her body feathers were like the color of sunshine and her tail curled at the tip, her head feathers of pink and…spots and two feathers that were similar looking enough to look like ears and those eyes…she recognized one of them as being a bad thing…her child was born with a bad eye and one of her front legs was nothing but a stump. Kalypso stared in shock and surprise…but also Love. It was strange, most mother raptors abandon hatchlings with such…problems but Kalypso…she thought she was the most beautiful thing the raptor has ever laid eyes on. She nuzzled her child who let out a squeak as she got nuzzled "I think…I'll call you Pandora." She cooed putting on a brave face as she still went through the lose of her friend but…somehow…naming her first born after her friend just seemed right.
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lukowrites · 2 years
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35 min free write - Thoughts & consciousness (I don't believe in full subjectivity anymore, praise the totality.)
It’s every day. They haunt me in my sleep, teasing me, guiding me. They tell me I have no control, that I have to succumb to their power, let it pull me around in whatever way they see fit. Others tell me I can do anything. They tell me that this is one universe of many, all linked, and that every small decision moves us across different timelines. Some are closer than others, and the conditions have to precede the result. This is how they found me.
When I was a child I didn’t know better, I believed anything was possible and powerful, supernatural mysteries hid in the dark corners of the world. I saw demons, spoke to God, but these things were rarities, and others were convinced they didn’t exist. As I grew, that belief in normality kept me grounded. I no longer saw these mysterious things, and anything out of the ordinary was chalked up to a trick of the mind.
I learned about the subjectivity of experience later, and grew to understand it. There was no way to prove your perspective was any more real than another’s, even if they seemed crazy. I started meditating, thinking about how to unlock my hidden potential again, excited by the power I could attain. People called me crazy, telling me to be careful, afraid that I'd start to see the world in a way that might consume me, my imagination becoming too wild and powerful to control. A delusion - that only way for experience to be considered real was for others to perceive the same thing. So I sought out others with similar so called delusions, to share their experiences, so that I could make them my own.
Throughout history there are myths of beings and forms from other planes, of a tie between the mind and the material. Groups would become convinced of their legitimacy, worshiping them, fearing them, making offerings, committing acts to gain favor. I figured the best place to start was a church. I entered by local parish and spoke to the pastor, he told me the way to salvation was through belief, that power and rewards came through faith. I sat in the congregation, eyes closed, putting my hands out and speaking to the invisible, begging it for strength, admitting my weakness and dependence on it. It worked, a feeling of lightness and love filled my heart, but part of me wasn’t able to fully accept it. The feeling left me as quickly as it came. I figured that I would need more proof than just a feeling, I would need convincing.
I had seen lights in the sky when I was very young, moving in ways I saw as inhuman, dancing around and defying gravity. The thought never left me, and in my search for magic and the supernatural, I looked to the sky one night. There above me, as if they knew I would look, were a handful of lights dancing around in front of the big dipper. They acted erratically and impressively, only to spread out, moving like an aeroplane, before blinking out and fading from sight. I saw it as a sign, that they were trying to help me believe, to not give up in my search. My thoughts ran away from me, and I was plagued by the enigmas of the world, of what I’d seen and what it meant, how I could use it. I searched for occult knowledge, reading everything I could find, but all the contradiction and mystery never led to tangible understanding. I figured I needed to take a chance on faith again.
One night I spoke to the spirits, my loneliness getting the better of me I invited a female entity to my bed. I felt a sense of lust, like something had read me and understood what I was about, and liked it. Lying in bed I felt a cool breeze gently coming through my window, moving from my right. The sheets on my bed seemed to move against the breeze, as if a hand had brushed up against my leg, and I felt what was like fingertips running up my body, resting in the area of my kundalini, vibrating sensually, and filling my body with pleasure. I was lying still, but my breathing became heavy, and I felt as if I was having sex with some invisible entity, I came close to climaxing. Again, my faith waned, but I felt a closeness with the unseen and went with it, talking to it for a few days. I decided to tell it that I wasn’t interested in pursuing anything serious, afraid it would latch itself to me if I let it, based on what I'd read about such entities. As quick as that, with a sense that it understood me, it left.
I feel that my search has given me an empathy and sensitivity to the energies of people, animals, and nature. I can feel the impact of thoughts directed and related to me. I've been careful not to send out negative thoughts myself, initially considering that negative thoughts can work as a defense, as if wrestling over the legitimacy of an argument on a psychic level, with one winner burdening the other. However, I moved on from this belief, and I’m now careful about the energy I project onto others. It makes me wonder, where do feelings of positivity come from, perhaps there is some guardian angel looking out for us in our time of need, perhaps the powers of good and evil are vying for control of us all the time.
My dreams have become erratic but instructive. The feelings that develop can be troubling, the meaning vague, but I see a purpose behind them that leaks into and guides my waking life. My mind is never at rest, and visions haunt me during the day. I believe my thoughts aren’t always my own, that I can choose to filter them with agency, but that there are psychic energies suggesting and provoking reactions and decisions constantly. Most people aren’t aware of this, and they believe that everything that comes from them is of them, but I don’t, it’s ignorant to assume that we aren’t shaped by powers outside of our own, and this extends from simple propaganda and learning, to spiritual influence of a level outside of sense-perception. Faith is a strong thing, and to me, ascension is the breaking of mental boundaries like faith, allowing for the greater influences on our thoughts and behaviour to become known and understood. I keep searching for a way to increase my power, and shift to a universe with more light.
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