#I want to be Richard Collins when I grew up

[ram-de]

[read] carter bennett is everything

AWWW small carter :( gshshshsh he's a good older brother my son carter

I love timber wolf😭 cute expressive pup

Fucking. Thomas bennett. this book is gonna be full of Thomas Bennett apologist propaganda isn't it. He's only human. He made mistakes. Well he should have apologize before he's dead not after! I will refrain from complaining about Thomas Bennett because this is my son carter's moment. OH MY GOD thank you thank you Carter for not... Absolving him of all his wrongdoing. HOLD HIM ACCOUNTABLE!!

Carter's farewell speech from his pov... I'm tearing up a lot reading this book... SOMEONE TIE HIM DOWN!!!

I always felt like the bond thing is so... Convenient sometimes. Carter should be all blue and tingling how come nobody noticed it? His presence? But then again Ox said he could mute bonds just like when he's gonna be the martyr. Hmm....

reliving all of this memories of leaving gordo... Pain... I don't have a choice. Oh the lie you tell yourself so you can sleep better, Thomas Bennett. My resentment for you is endless😂 He's gotten an easy way out after ruining both Gordo and Mark's life. Fucking Thomas Bennett.

So far though, in terms of trying to make things light of the impact of fucking Thomas Bennett, this book isn't as bad as Ravensong. Which is good. Please keep it like this

What should I do if I'm beginning to feel so repulsed of Thomas Bennett😭 Don't fucking try to be the victim in this one. OUUUUUU yeaa tell him mark. FUCKING SAY IT TO GORDO THEN?? LIKE MAN HE APOLOGIZED TO MARK. HE APOLOGIZED TO ELIZABETH. WHY. THE FUCK. DID HE NOT APOLOGIZE TO GORDO???? I need this man to go to alpha hell.

Mark is a better person than me because I'd be legit give that fucking shitass a solid punch or two (I cannot fight or do any offensive skill to save my life)

DON'T FUCKING TOUCH HIM YOU... THOMAS FUCKING BENNETT... AND DONT TRY TO JUSTIFY YOURSELF!!!! UGH. Mark can't even grief in peace wtf?? I FUCKING HATE THOMAS BENNETT.

Canes and pinecones, epic and awesome. Cutiepie adorable baby Joe it's nice to see you again😭 you were so different later on...

This psychic-witch lady is funny hshsjsjsjjs

I just read the table of contents... Is Elizabeth gonna die :-(

Timber wolf my cute pup you just gave Carter attachment issues shgsgjshdudh

Meeting the evil father in law...

HSGSHSJSH CARTER AND GAVIN IS A FUNNY PAIR I love opposites attract you don't understand

SEE I COULD LIVE OFF FROM SIMPLY READING THEIR INTERACTION I AM THRIVING I AM LIVING NOTHING MATTERS ANYMORE GRRRAAHHHHh

😐 Thomas. Fucking. Bennett. Knowing robert has another son. Keeping that from everyone. Visits him from time to time. COMPLICIT WITH THIS ALL. How the fuck do you see Gordo back at home and smile to him knowing his dad fucking cheated and that he have another brother??? SHOULD I MAKE ANOTHER POST ON WHY THOMAS BENNETT IS THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL???

Thomas Bennett really flopped in his alpha leadership ngl how do you even fumble Mark your brother, him always around and chose Richard as the second instead? Tf

Elizabeth singing / dancing /cooking moments always make me soft... :-( she danced with ox, reminiscent of his late mother. She cooked with robbie for kelly... on one occasion she danced with joe too. I don't think gordo have danced. He sang with the pack on the road. But idk with Elizabeth. And now with Gavin. She's... SHE'S MY MOTHER....

It was warm like a summer day. It was candy canes and pinecones, it was epic and awesome, it was dirt and leaves and rain, it was grass and lake water and sunshine.

I always loved repetition hsgshsj they're so endearing to me (Ox has drilled into my head that his father gave him shits but that's ok because he's my son.)

Carter spitting facts a lot today. That's true. FUKC YOU THOMAS BENNETT. you kept Gavin here! You're complicit! Scum of earth! Fucking hell I hate it here. He's the one who wabbled in dreams AFTER HIS DEATH. Fucking coward.

“My dad says that Bennetts don’t deserve to be in control. They ruin everything they touch.” you're right kid from Carter's memory lmaoo Abel and Thomas were not good leaders so props :)

FUCKING THOMAS BENNETT'S SECOND RICHARD COLLINS. ruining my son's Joe childhood like wtf. This is all Thomas Bennett's fault.

Wait WAIT THIS IS THE ROADTRIP CREW REUNION😭

Gavin you menace gshgsjdjf

Please tell me Carter did laundry on his trip............... 😔

Wait whos taking on the green creek mayor's position if Carter ran away.

Aileen and Patice: the ultimate plot device

More Thomas Bennett forgivement propaganda. Snooze. This is... This is very blatant attempt to redeem thomas bennett and as #1 Thomas Bennett hater I will never stand for this😠 there is no way you can backtrack everything from ravensong, tj klune hshsjshsghs

Daddy Rico😭 gonna have a small pup (baby) soon

I'm tearing up oh lord this keeps happening. Every reunion... Damn it...

How the hell Elizabeth keeps knowing every single. Lady??? Robbie's mother. And then Gavin's mother. HMMM? ARE YOU A COMPLICIT TOO ELIZABETH

Damn it I can't believe everyone in town knows Gordo's father cheated on another lady and decided to traumatize him further through child labor and other means. That's disappointing. (yes I will babify gordo until the end of time) and that is a lot to ask ngl Elizabeth...

WERE HOME BABYYYY AND THAT MEANS MORE COZY PACK DYNAMICS AAAGAGHHHHH

Thank you, Carter being the only sane non-TB-apologist here... My son Carter... NOOO THEY'RE GASLIGHTING HIM UP... Thomas Bennet really has the whole clan manipulated... That scum... don't worry I'll carry the resentment enough for the whole pack

HSGSHSHSHSHS ngl I thought the premise of Carter leaving is a bit repetitive (and a bit dumb). but it is what it is

Gordo you old man you have said the father's day joke line before!! Your age is showing...!

My son robbie speaking facts. Gordo could kick the bennets when they returned. They had no rights.

I would read a whole book full of these, cozy, daily moments of the packs... No hunters, no alpha society shit, no wacky wizard trying to have power. Just... JUST STUFF LIKE THIS PLS... Die rabbit die? COURTING CHAPTER NEXT... I need to see Carter flustered.

Thomas uh... I had few objections to Elizabeth's heartful speech to Carter but I'll let it slide for the sake of, sake... Oh Elizabeth is dropping death flags... Rip... My queen...

Oh my god team former humans is so gentle with gavin😭 anything... NOTEPADS!!! just like bar scene in ravensong... My fav...

GAVIN DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE AGHJHhsshgsjs this is so sweet it hurts

I had several objections on how it can be Thomas Bennett's faults, Joe. But I won't say it because brothers bonding time. And I can kinda see his point... Damn Zen Alpha...

SHUEHSHDUE JOE :-( the bestest little brother ever please this is hurting me

I wish so too. Thomas is an awful alpha. Sure he may be a decent husband and father. Other than that he is shitty. I don't know why he has to pre-decide Joe as an alpha... Did he and Elizabeth go for a third son until they got an alpha... THIS IS SO INAPPROPRIATE I'll be back to Thomas slander

Tho-- no, no. I have better self control than this... HMM... ACTUALLY... SCREW IT. IT FELT LIKE. tj klune is like. Aware of how shitty Thomas Bennett too and to redeem him. He kept trying to backpedal. More and more propaganda, tch... the letters feel eerily similiar to my thoughts IF I were to be swayed to thomas bennett forgivement propaganda. No. No. I will not go over there.

Hmmm I don't know what to feel about this whole

*Thomas Bennett ruined a life and causes immense heartbreak that lasts 20 years (mark, gordo)*

Someone: oh sure he made an oopsie mistake he loved you, you know? Just forgive him, it's not a big deal. Get over it you fucking whiny bitch.

Less to say, I am not impressed...

HSGSHSJSH carter can be a straight one sometimes (as in, comedy duo. What do you call it, boke? Tama?)

THANK YOUUUI for backpedalling about gordo's mother. she's a victim. She barely get her respects even when she told the truth, that wolf lies, that wolf used gordo. Back then, Abel, Richard and FUCKING THOMAS BENNETT all is complicit in the scenescheme.

My son Gavin is 32 years old😭 when was he bitten because it can't be that long right...

I love that they're babying my 32 years old son😭

Elizabeth... You're so strong for admitting it all... Still won't change the fact that you AND FUCKING THOMAS BENNETT SCUM manipulated ox... And Mark... And gordo... Yeah idk...

Why are we skipping carter's i am wolf wolf provide wolf give food big wolf gavin must give food racoon racoon die racoon for gavin gavin eat racoon. Like WHY

THE JOY OF WHAT😭

I love love love the moments each protagonist got with other members of the pack...makes it very lively and just cozy

ELIZABETH HAD A CRUSH IN MAGGIE WHAT IN THE WORLD

...i feel like I should do write more live reactions but using the app is a hassle. This is now twitter💀 whatever...

Jessie is so real for cutting off that guys monologue. If you want to talk a lot at least make it interesting. It's not. I am still traumatized from Elijah's 3-pages rant referencing bibles and shit.

[elsbookcorner]

2022 Book Wrap!

In total I read 29 books this year meaning I was only 1 book of my reading goal of 30. That is okay thought because this year I really got back into reading and considering last year I read about 14!

Books I read:

The Turn of the Screw - Henry James

The World's Greatest Miracle - Og Mandino

The Thursday Murder Club - Richard Osman

Where the Crawdads Sing - Delia Owens

The Haunting of Hill House - Shirley Jackson

The woman in Black - Susan Hill

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

The Man Who Died Twice - Richard Osman

The Girls I've Been - Tess Sharpe

As Good as Dead - Holly Jackson

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine - Gail Honeyman

How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You - The Oatmeal

Heartstopper - Alice Osrman

The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Trial by Fire - Josephine Angelini

Firewalker - Josephine Angelini

Witches Pyre - Josephine Angelini

Midnight Sun - Stephanie Meyer

New Moon - Stephanie Meyer

Eclipse - Stephanie Meyer

The Candid Life of Meena Dave - Namrata Patel

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes - Suzanne Collins

One Last Stop - Casey McQuiston

Daisy Jones and the Six - Taylor Jenkins Reid

The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky

Little women - Louisa May Alcott

Good wives - Lousia May Alcott

The Bullet that Missed - Richard Osman

My 5 top books of the year that weren't rereads are probably The Woman in Black, Midnight Sun, The Candid Life of Meena Dave, Daisy Jones and the Six, and One Last stop.

The Woman in Black is my new favourite horror book ever. It made me feel so unsettled (my imagination is very active) and had me peeking around corners before exiting a room incase the Woman in black was waiting for me. The plot twist at the end really got me as I genuinely thought that he had broken the curse but wow. It was sick but also amazing and I couldn't read anything for a few days once I finished it because I was still hooked.

Funnily enough Midnight Sun is in my top 5. I know alot of people disliked this book because it was too similar to Twilight but I really enjoyed it. I love how we really get to see Edwards character more in depth. What I loved is how dramatic he was and how funny he was. My favourite part was when Mike was speaking to Bella and Edwards decides to be the most dramatic man ever and start thinking about how he could just kill Mike. So silly.

The Candid Life of Meena Dave is incredible. I love the characters, especially the dog! The romance in this book was so cute and I loved how Patel didn't make Meena have her whole life and story revolve around Sam after meeting him. It didn't just focus on love but also on Meena trying to find herself before even thinking about getting into a relationship. Was an amazing read that had me kicking my feet.

Now at first I didn't like Daisy Jones and the Six because of how it was written. But then I grew to love it with my whole heart. I wanted to learn how to pkay bass guitar before reading this book but after it made me get up and actually learn. I'm so glad Reid didn't glamorise or romanticise drugs because drugs quite literally almost ruined Billy's life. I loved seeing how he changed and dealt with everything. Anyway I'm so excited for the show to come out in March!

Finally, One Last Stop, arguably my favourite overall this year. THIS REALLY HAD ME KICKING MY LEGS IT WAS SO CUTE. I think I also fell in love with Jane. When I say this book had me crying I mean actually sobbing. The end had me facing so many emotions. I don't even have the words to say how much I love this book.

I reread quite a few books too. My top 5 were definitely the Worldwalker Trilogy (Trial by Fire, Firewalker and Witches Pyre), The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Little Women. These 5 books are my comfort books. Every single one of them has broken spines and damaged covers because of the amount of times I've read them. I highly HIGHLY recommend them, especially the Worldwalker trilogy and anything by Josephine Angelini. The trilogy has my ultimate book crush, Rowan Fall, too! So underrated definetly go read it!

Anyway, that is everything I have to say about this year. Its a shame I only had one book left to read but I'll achieve it next year!

[awkwardgtace]

Things about Mira and Kaya's home and past

Hey so I have an angsty thing coming out soon once I figure out how to end it and decided some background on Mira and Kaya's home would be a good idea.

Feel free to ask me anything clarifying this cause it feels a bit jumbled but so am i lately lol

TW: I'd say for mentions of abuse, a bit of sexism, and mentions of death

First an important fact about Mira. She has no self preservation. If it will help her community or put their minds at ease she’ll die. At least she claims this. She’s come close more than once, but each time survived fine. She has had it drilled into her that she needs to be useful, she owes them for raising a danger like her. This even means she’d let them kill her in her present day life where she’s in Corus’s home if she thought it would help. She’s not ok. Her parents and the others in her community that cared about her did not agree and tried to push her to see she matters for much much more. She will still walk headfirst into danger if she thinks it would help them even marginally.

Now as for her home community, it’s existed for a very long time and used to have connections with two others. These other communities were partly used to make sure that the bloodlines were spread out decently. Collin had only recently taken over as leader when there was a bad storm that hurt the little forest they call home badly. They sent out a number of groups to try and reach the other communities. A lot of the members who left didn’t come home. This started a kind of panic in Collin. He didn’t want to be the leader that brought them to their deaths.

They do actually live longer than humans and Collin’s been alive for a very long time even by the standard of his kind. He was terrified and that fear grew every year. Each time there were less births, or a new illness he would start to panic. The community as a whole began to regress. Everyone had roles to fill and if you could naturally carry a child you were expected to stay near home. Some fought that because they didn’t like it, but the fear Collin would feed to everyone didn’t leave many upset with the change.

By the time Mira and Kaya were born his way of handling things was solid. No one had many complaints since things were getting done. Kaya is a little older than Mira, not too much. They were only about two years older, but they were training as a scout first. When Mira was born Collin wanted her dead. He said she was cursed and a bad omen because the communities they’d lost contact with had children like her born just before that storm. They start training at about five years old for their job within the community.

Two years into Kaya’s training as a scout their parents made a choice to sneak out and see if they could reach the other communities. Unfortunately there was a storm and they didn’t survive. They were found the next day. Collin took it upon himself to try to raise Kaya so they’d ‘finally fulfill their role’. Something that may not be clear yet, Collin's anger is tied to Kaya's refusal to fill the 'male' roles in the community. He took them out of scout training and put them in scavenger training with Mira. This was overseen by Richard and Anna since they were the next leaders and Collin didn’t trust Mira being alone with others. He wanted everyone to believe she was a problem child.

Mira was quiet and closed off at first. Kaya was angry. They would talk with other children and talk about how they’d just marry Mira so they didn’t have to have kids. They liked marriage, but knew Collin would say they had to be a 'father' and join the scavenging team. When she came to their defense for talking about her it was the first time the two really spoke. Kaya became part of her family after and she brought up what they’d been saying about marrying her. She said they could, it sounded fun as long as Kaya was nice. It was a child’s promise and would have been followed through if Mira hadn’t been sent away.

In the following years Mira was treated like a problem. She embraced it though. She’d sneak out and find things no one knew about. Each time she couldn’t really explain her path out she just had one and knew where the thing she wanted was. She’d be met with sneers and cruelty often. As she got old Collin got angrier at her existence. He convinced others who were as scared as him she was the cause of everything. Storms, trouble with food, others nearly getting caught, and more were because of her. The slap Corus witnessed was one of many times the adults would punish her like that.

By the time Mira was seen there were arguments happening constantly about her and Kaya. She was pushing for them to be put back on scouting. Collin was pushing for them to pick a partner other than Mira. Another woman they could have kids with. When she was seen Collin was pushing to abandon her in an open field to die. He wanted to make sure they were rid of her curse. While most of the community agreed she was a bad sign, the majority didn’t like the idea of leaving her to die. She had been a large help at times to everyone. No one besides Collin and some of those he’s closest too would actually want her dead. She never knew there was this debate over her life.

There were two things settled in the arguments over Mira. The first, they were sending her to a human house and she could be an emergency base. They picked an old couple assuming it would be easy for her, which wasn’t entirely wrong. They just knew some stories and kept an eye out for the strange hair they’d found that first time. The second, Kaya would be moved back to scouting and be treated like their partner died. Collin intended to do more to push Kaya, but once it came out he hid Mira protecting others he lost his station mostly. Richard and Anna leave Kaya on scouting and don’t intend to force people to have children they don’t want like Collin did. Sadly he still has some people who share his views, most others are more willing to see things differently.

[cheyningdiamond]

⚡Mag agent geode lookz zad az fuck I would like to requezt a fic where good thingz happen to her i love her and i think zhe dezervez it⚡

@paranormalmidnightparadox ;)

The MAG Agent wandered around the halls of the facility. She whimpered loudly and she shuffled and limped, wailing. She had been alone for so many years... Being stuck here after that mercenary cleared out the people who did this to her. As much as she desperately wanted them dead, being lonely was awful... It had just been another repeating day... Roaming the halls in search for something to eat. Whether it be a wanderer, a rat, something... Her stomach growled and grumbled. It hurt so badly... As she passed a room, she stopped when she heard a noise. It sounded like a vial dropping. She turned and looked at the door. Inside was Lilah... Her and NemNem wandered in the facility despite Hank and Tricky warning them not to go there. They had split up, which was probably the worst mistake they made. Lilah covered her mouth as she hid under one of the desks. Her heart raced violently as the MAG Agent jiggled the doorknob... ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// NemNem, on the other side of the facility, was looking through the only working computer in the computer room. She was searching through the files and reports and upon scanning through she saw what looked like files for the MAG-nification experiments. first one she clicked on was 'SUBJECT.Torture' 'Name: Richard Callisto Age: 32 Gender: Male 'Subject's final MAG-nification was a success. The mutation greatened his size and was shown to cause him to be more aggressive. Unfortunately, he has become aggressive towards us as well. Our last guy was torn to shreds trying to feed him and is prone to bursting out into fits of rage and breaking the walls that contain him. We have had to move his holding chambers multiple times due to him breaking everything...' 'The shock therapy calms him down but only for a little bit. Once he recovers, he just goes back into his rage fits. Using heavy tranquilizers and 300,000 volts of electricity, we can safely knock him out before he causes any damage. That is, if we can get to them in time. For a larger soldier, he is quite fast. Subject is still in the works but if tamed enough, he will make a fine addition to our army.' Emily read this and felt a wave of uneasiness hit her as she read through the old typed paragraphs. "What kind of sick fucks would do this...?" She asked herself, clicking off and clicking onto the next one. This one was labeled 'SUBJECT.Geode' 'Name: Maria Collins' At that point, Emily stopped reading. Collins... That last name was familiar... Lilah... She read on. 'Age: 39 Gender: Female 'It took a bit, but the subject's final MAG-nification has been completed. After we had captured her, we had thought she would never work out. We had to constantly force feed her to keep her alive, put her through a series of tests as the geodes in her body grew through every inflicting injury she had received. Every time she wouldn't comply, we had to put the shock collar on her like we did with Torture and zap her to get her to cooperate.' 'And fucking Hell, the most hardest thing to get her to do was to get her to tell us about her origins. After some... persuasive techniques, we've found out that she has a husband and a daughter. Still haven't gotten their names but it doesn't exactly matter. Not like she can go back to them after we're done with her.' Emily felt dread and anger filling her mind. This Maria person couldn't be who she thought she was, right? There was no fucking way! Emily heard the door creaking open behind her and she swiftly turned around, feeling her heart stop a second. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// The light jiggling turned violent and eventually the door was ripped right off the hinges... Lilah whimpered and shook violently. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She saw the twig-figured monster shamble in, making a quiet groaning noise that sounded like a woman in pain mixed with a faint rattling sound similar to pebbles shaking in a metal can. Tears rolled down the

creature's cheeks uncontrollably as she looked around the old damaged laboratory. She walked into the center of the room, right near the desks and let out another groan, followed by a soft cry. Lilah tried desperately to crawl away while Geode searched the other side of the desk. Lilah had the idea of crawling to the desk most near to the doorway and getting the hell out of there. Lilah moved to the next desk and went to crawl more, but she heard the footsteps of the MAG woman and immediately stopped moving. She held her breath and tensed up as she heard the groaning get louder and louder. Lilah moved just a liiiiiittle bit to try and move slightly away from her, only to have her wallet fall out of her pocket with a slight noise. That's fine, maybe she didn't- The monster shrieked and flipped the entire desk over, causing Lilah to scream and crawl away. The MAG grabbed her by the legs and dragged her back, holding her upside down. She was now face-to-face with the horrific jaw-less beast. Lilah was crying and shaking violently, mumbling begs and pleas for her life. The monster hissed and looked at the wallet on the ground. That's when the monster froze up. That wallet... \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ "Mom! Mom!" The little girl ran to the older woman, hugging her leg tightly. The woman sighed and lifted her up, hugging her. "Sweetie, I have to do this... I won't be gone for more than a year, I promise..." the child sniffled as she held onto her mother. Maria rubbed the back of her head and looked at her husband. "Please be back soon, ok love?" "I promise..." She looked down at Maria. "You still have that wallet I gave you, yeah?" The girl sadly nodded. "Keep that picture in it safe, ok? Just so you don't forget about little ol' me." She joked, kissing her daughter's forehead. She nodded slowly. "I love you, Mama..." "I love you too, pumpkin..." Maria handed her over to her father and walked off. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ The monster walked over to it and reached her hand over, using her large claws to open it up with small trouble. She pulled out a photo and looked at it, then at her. That's when the tears that stroked down her cheeks came pouring out more than usual... Finally, the beast let out gentle cry, but instead of a loud groan or a shriek... It sounded like she formed out a word. A name... "L.........Liiihhh.......llaaaaahhh.....?"

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

July 23, 2021

Heather Cox Richardson

On July 20, 1969, American astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin became the first humans ever to land, and then to walk, on the moon.

They were part of the Apollo program, designed to put an American man on the moon. Their spacecraft launched on July 16 and landed back on Earth in the Pacific Ocean July 24, giving them eight days in space, three of them orbiting the moon 30 times. Armstrong and Aldrin spent almost 22 hours on the moon’s surface, where they collected soil and rock samples and set up scientific equipment, while the pilot of the command module, Michael Collins, kept the module on course above them.

The American space program that created the Apollo 11 spaceflight grew out of the Cold War. The year after the Soviet Union launched an artificial satellite in 1957, Congress created the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) to demonstrate American superiority by sending a man into space. In 1961, President John F. Kennedy moved the goalposts, challenging the country to put a man on the moon and bring him safely back to earth again. He told Congress: “No single space project in this period will be more impressive to mankind, or more important for the long-range exploration of space; and none will be so difficult or expensive to accomplish.”

A year later, in a famous speech at Rice University in Texas, Kennedy tied space exploration to America’s traditional willingness to attempt great things. “Those who came before us made certain that this country rode the first waves of the industrial revolutions, the first waves of modern invention, and the first wave of nuclear power, and this generation does not intend to founder in the backwash of the coming age of space. We mean to be a part of it—we mean to lead it,” he said.

[T]here is new knowledge to be gained, and new rights to be won, and they must be won and used for the progress of all people…. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills….”

But the benefits to the country would not only be psychological, he said. “The growth of our science and education will be enriched by new knowledge of our universe and environment, by new techniques of learning and mapping and observation, by new tools and computers for industry, medicine, the home as well as the school.” The effort would create “a great number of new companies, and tens of thousands of new jobs…new demands in investment and skilled personnel,” as the government invested billions in it.

“To be sure, all this costs us all a good deal of money…. I realize that this is in some measure an act of faith and vision, for we do not now know what benefits await us.”

Seven years later, people across the country gathered around television sets to watch Armstrong step onto the moon and to hear his famous words: “That's one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind.”

President Richard Nixon called the astronauts from the White House: “I just can't tell you how proud we all are of what you have done,” he said. “For every American, this has to be the proudest day of our lives…. Because of what you have done, the heavens have become a part of man's world…. For one priceless moment in the whole history of man, all the people on this Earth are truly one…in their pride in what you have done, and…in our prayers that you will return safely to Earth.”

And yet, by the time Armstrong and Aldrin were stepping onto the moon in a grand symbol of the success of the nation’s moon shot, Americans back on earth were turning against each other. Movement conservatives who hated post–World War II business regulation, taxation, and civil rights demanded smaller government and championed the idea of individualism, while those opposed to the war in Vietnam increasingly distrusted the government.

After May 4, 1970, when the shooting of college students at Kent State University in Ohio badly weakened Nixon’s support, he began to rally supporters to his side with what his vice president, Spiro Agnew, called “positive polarization.” They characterized those who opposed the administration as anti-American layabouts who simply wanted a handout from the government. The idea that Americans could come together to construct a daring new future ran aground on the idea that anti-war protesters, people of color, and women were draining hardworking taxpayers of their hard-earned money.

Ten years later, former actor and governor of California Ronald Reagan won the White House by promising to defend white taxpayers from people like the “welfare queen,” who, he said, “has 80 names, 30 addresses, 12 Social Security cards and is collecting veteran’s benefits on four non-existing deceased husbands.” Reagan promised to champion individual Americans, getting government, and the taxes it swallowed, off people’s backs.

“In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem,” Reagan said in his Inaugural Address. Americans increasingly turned away from the post–World War II teamwork and solidarity that had made the Apollo program a success, and instead focused on liberating individual men to climb upward on their own terms, unhampered by regulation or taxes.

This week, on July 20, 2021, 52 years to the day after Armstrong and Aldrin stepped onto the moon, former Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and four passengers spent 11 minutes in the air, three of them more than 62 miles above the earth, where many scientists say space starts. For those three minutes, they were weightless. And then the pilotless spaceship returned to Earth.

Traveling with Bezos were his brother, Mark; 82-year-old Wally Funk, a woman who trained to be an astronaut in the 1960s but was never permitted to go to space; and 18-year-old Oliver Daemen from the Netherlands, whose father paid something under $28 million for the seat.

Bezos’s goal, he says, is not simply to launch space tourism, but also to spread humans to other planets in order to grow beyond the resource limits on earth. The solar system can easily support a trillion humans,” Bezos has said. “We would have a thousand Einsteins and a thousand Mozarts and unlimited—for all practical purposes—resources and solar power and so on. That's the world that I want my great-grandchildren's great-grandchildren to live in.”

Ariane Cornell, astronaut-sales director of Bezos’s space company Blue Origin, live-streamed the event, telling the audience that the launch “represents a number of firsts.” It was “[t]he first time a privately funded spaceflight vehicle has launched private citizens to space from a private launch site and private range down here in Texas. It’s also a giant first step towards our vision to have millions of people living and working in space.”

In 2021, Bezos paid $973 million in taxes on $4.22 billion in income while his wealth increased by $99 billion, making his true tax rate 0.98%. After his trip into the sky, he told reporters: “I want to thank every Amazon employee and every Amazon customer because you guys paid for all of this…. Seriously, for every Amazon customer out there and every Amazon employee, thank you from the bottom of my heart very much. It’s very appreciated.”

—-

Notes:

https://www.businessinsider.com/jeff-bezos-space-flight-passenger-revealed-wally-funk-2021-7

https://www.businessinsider.com/blue-origin-auction-spacecraft-jeff-bezos-winner-seat-astronaut-2021-6

https://www.businessinsider.com/jeff-bezos-launches-to-space-blue-origin-first-human-spaceflight-2021-7

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2021/06/08/wealthy-irs-taxes/

https://www.businessinsider.com/jeff-bezos-thanks-amazon-customers-for-paying-trip-to-space-2021-7

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LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[From comments: “When you’ve been able to amass your money by not paying your fair share of taxes, your “privately funded” venture is a diversion of rightfully public funds. This new space race is publicly funded, but absent public controls and alignment. Socialize the expenses, privatize the profits.”

“After May 4, 1970, when the shooting of college students at Kent State University in Ohio badly weakened Nixon’s support, he began to rally supporters to his side with what his vice president, Spiro Agnew, called “positive polarization."Combined with the unsubtle racism of Nixon's Southern Strategy, thus began the decades long Republican policy of dividing Americans against each other that has led us to what we have today; two Americas that reside in different universes, and our national wealth controlled by a handful of unelected, supremely, in some cases psychotically, self-centered white men.Jeff Bezos could not have existed in Kennedy's America. We must make that so again.”

[your-fave-is-catholic]

Your Fave MIGHT Be Catholic: Al Pacino

Known for: Academy Award winning, Tony Award winning, Emmy Award winning, & Golden Globe winning actor & filmmaker of film & stage, he is considered one of the greatest actors of all time, & has starred in several of the most iconic & acclaimed films ever made. He grew up in New York City, & when he was young he was a student of both HB Studio & the Actors Studio, & years later he would become one of the presidents of the latter studio. He started his career as a stage actor in the 1960s, until eventually he transitioned into film, & soon he became the icon that he is today. To this day, he continues acting in both theater & film, & has several awards to boot (being one of the few actors to receive what is called the “Triple Crown”). Notable theater shows he has done over the years include Awake & Sing!, America, Hurrah, The Indian Wants The Bronx, Does A Tiger Wear A Necktie?, Camino Real, The Basic Training of Pavlo Hummel, Richard III, American Buffalo, Julius Caesar, Chinese Coffee, Salome, Hughie, The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui, Orphans, The Merchant of Venice, Glengarry Glen Ross, & China Doll. His film career includes Me, Natalie, The Panic in Needle Park, The Godfather, Serpico, Scarecrow, The Godfather Part II, Dog Day Afternoon, Bobby Deerfield, ...And Justice For All, Author! Author!, Scarface, Revolution, Dick Tracy, The Godfather Part III, Frankie & Johnny, Glengarry Glen Ross, Scent of a Woman, Heat, City Hall, Looking for Richard, Donnie Brasco, The Devil’s Advocate, The Insider, Any Given Sunday, Insomnia, The Recruit, Angels in America, 88 Minutes, Ocean’s Thirteen, Righteous Kill, Stand Up Guys, Manglehorn, The Humbling, Danny Collins, Misconduct, The Pirates of Somalia, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, & the upcoming The Irishman. In short, he’s one of the most beloved & acclaimed actors in Hollywood who still acts to this day!

Why I say MIGHT as opposed to IS: The truth of the matter is, Al is very good at keeping a lot of personal information to himself, & thus there aren’t any reliable sources that state what his religious beliefs are. What makes things more complicated is that many websites state things that are very contradictory, & thus it’s hard to figure out what’s true & what isn’t. On the one hand, Ranker.com features Al on their list of Catholic celebrities, & even mentions that growing up he was born & raised Catholic (which is certainly believable, given his family is entirely Italian & raised him up as such). On the other hand, many other websites, including Who’s Dated Who, have Al listed as Agnostic. Then there was another site that’s been lost that states that Al converted to Islam. In short, it seems that Al likes to keep his life very mysterious, & thus we don’t know for sure what his beliefs truly are. But it’s still entirely possible that he’s Catholic.

If this post is wrong: If this post is incorrect & Al has stated in a reliable source that he practices a different religion entirely or no religion at all, then please politely inform me in an ask & I’ll have this changed right away!

[theselfshippingwitch]

so richard and i got married today so here’s a fic:

The day couldn’t be more perfect. A warm spring day in a lovely garden surrounded by beautiful purple roses. And in the distance, beyond the altar, a tree full of white blossoms. It was here, at the end of an aisle of white rose petals, that Richard Collins waited for his bride. He wore a perfectly fitted morning suit, complete with top hat which he took off and handed to his closest friend and best man as he saw his lovely Violet begin to walk down the aisle. 

Violet Bellamy, with her beautiful satin ballgown and her long brown hair in an intricate, flower-shaped bun on the back of her head, walked to a soft, melodious song played by a live piano player. Upon seeing her groom, she smiled widely. How she missed him so all day! She could hardly wait to be his wife. Likewise, Richard's smile had never been brighter. He reached up to wipe away tears in his eyes as she approached. He was so in love.

Violet reached the end of the aisle and handed her bouquet of light purple roses to her maid of honor. Then, she took Richard's hands in hers. All this time she spent planning this wedding, she thought that she would be nervous to stand in front of so many people. But in this moment, staring into his gorgeous green eyes, all she can think about is him. And in the same way, all Richard can see is his beautiful bride. They were the only two people in the world to each other.

The officiator began. "Thank you all for joining us today. We are gathered here to join these two souls forever in love, and to join these two people in matrimony. Today you enter a promise of life, love and unity, that will last for all of your days."

"Each of you now takes responsibility for the quality of your lives together. You must decide to support one another, to protect one another, to love each other unconditionally. Love is the most important of all things in this life, and so today we wish you a love that lasts your whole life long."

"The couple has written their own personal vows to one another, and so, Violet, I now invite you to read your vows to Richard out loud."

Violet smiled as her maid of honor handed her a small book, which Violet opened up and read from. 

"My Richard,

Today is the day I have been waiting for for what feels like an eternity. The day that you and I stand in front of our loved ones and swear our hearts' eternal fealty to one another. But, the truth is, my heart has always belonged to you. You are my one true love, my fairytale come true, my prince. I vow to you, from this day on, to accept you and support you, to love you the way you deserve to be loved, to go on adventures and experience life, always right by your side. I love you just the way you are, and I want you to never change. I will adore and cherish you forever, Richard Collins. I love you, so much."

Richard inhaled sharply, blinking away tears as he squeezed the hand that he was still holding onto that belonged to his bride. Then, he took out a book of his own, and began to read from it.

"My Dearest Violet,

My life has been spent searching for a happiness I never knew I would find. I thought I could find it in my career, in the approval of members of high society, or in financial success. And it never worked. Until I met you. Violet Bellamy, I did not know what it meant to be happy, or to be loved, until the day I found you. You have made me the happiest man in all of America, nay, in all of the world, I promise, from this day forth, now and forever, your dreams are my dreams, your hopes are my hopes, your successes are my successes, and your failures are my failures. My purpose in life, what I have been searching for all this time, is you."

"Richard..." Violet said under her breath, tears of joy streaming down her face. 

The officiator said, "Do you, Violet, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Violet nodded. "I do."

The officiator turned to Richard. "And do you, Richard, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" 

Richard looked deeply into Violet’s eyes. “I do.”

The officiator smiled, and then turned to the rest of the wedding party. "Do you have the rings?"

The maid of honor perked up. "Yeah! Right here!" She handed them to the couple.

The officiator continued. "The two rings you are about to exchange symbolize your eternal, unending love for one another. They are visual representations of the commitment you have just made to each other. Wear them with pride, and let them remind you of how fortunate you are to have found a love as powerful and deep as the love you two have for one another."

"Violet, place the ring on Richard's left hand finger and repeat after me. Richard, take this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment. With this ring, I thee wed."

Violet slid the ring over the tip of Richard's ring finger, and repeated the words.

"Richard, take this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment. With this ring, I thee wed," And slid the ring the rest of the way onto his finger.

The officiator said, "Now Richard, place your ring on Violet's left hand finger and repeat these words. Violet, take this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment. With this ring, I thee wed."

Richard slid his ring over the top of Violet's ring finger, and repeated the words. "Violet, take this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment. With this ring, I thee wed," and slid the ring the rest of the way onto Violet's finger. 

Violet sighed happily, admiring the ring she finally got to wear. The officiator said, "Richard and Violet, you have spoken the words and performed the rites and therefore it is my legal right to officially pronounce you husband and wife! You may begin your happily ever after with a kiss!"

Violet's smile grew somehow even wider as the final words of the ceremony were spoken, and she leaned in to give Richard a soft, sweet kiss, moving her hands from his to wrap her arms around his neck, embracing him. When they broke away, they joined hands again, and walked swiftly down the aisle as the people sitting on the ends of the aisles threw purple flower petals at them. Richard and Violet laughed, unbelievably happy to finally be married.

-

The reception was in a beautiful meadow surrounded by lush, green trees. Tables were arranged around a dance floor, and it all was surrounded by fairy lights. The DJ at the table in front of the dance floor turned on a mic and cleared his throat. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the time has come to welcome to the dance floor, Mr. and Mrs. Collins!"

Richard and Violet ran out to the dance floor, holding hands and smiling. Violet waved at her family and friends before turning her attention back to Richard. She placed her hand on his shoulder as the DJ announced, "And now, the newlyweds will have their first dance!" He turned his attention to the laptop in front of him, and a dreamy, slow remix of “Lover” by Taylor Swift began to play, Richard and Violet held each other close, swaying softly to the music. Violet rested her forehead on his, losing herself in the familiarity of his body against hers, the smell of his skin, the color of his eyes as they stared deeply into hers. The whole room was silent at the sight of the two of them, so far in love with one another that they forgot everyone else. The song came to an end, and Violet pressed her lips to his. 

After that, a faster paced song came on, and Violet loosened her tight grip on her new husband. She laughed as he began to dance. He was a terrible dancer; one of those people that thinks they dance well but they definitely can’t. Like everything else he did, Violet thought it was adorable. For everyone else, however, it was a different story. Richard’s best man, Bobby, sought Violet’s maid of honor, Maria, with dire resolve. “We have to dance badly in solidarity with their bad dancing!”

Maria was immediately on board. “Let’s do it.”

They danced terribly together for one song. And then another. And then another. They spent at least an hour on the dance floor, and when they got tired, they sat at a table together and talked together for the rest of the night. Violet smiled in their direction as they both laughed at something Bobby had said. “Our wedding party seems to be getting along.”

Richard followed Violet’s line of sight. “Ah! Indeed! They seem to be becoming great friends!”

“Uh huh. ‘Friends’.”

-

When it came time to toss the bouquet, Violet took the microphone. “Instead of the usual tradition of tossing the bouquet, I instead have elected to give out one flower in my bouquet to each single woman here, to let them all know that they all deserve love!” She untied the band that held the bouquet together and took it apart, piece by piece, handing one to each young lady in the crowd. When she got to Maria, she gave her a knowing smile. Maria blushed. 

-

At the end of the night, Richard and Violet returned to the hotel room Violet had stayed in with Maria the night before. Violet changed from her ballgown to a nightshirt, and lay side by side with Richard, who had gotten into his matching black pajama set. Violet kissed him again, and cuddled him close. “We’re married…” she giggled. “You’re my husband…” she kissed him.

“Are you finding enjoyment from those facts, Mrs. Collins?” He said in between her kisses. 

She practically squealed. “Yes! Yes! Please call me that. Call me that all the time. I always want to be Mrs. Collins.”

Richard closed his eyes and smiled as he kissed her. “I love you, Mrs. Collins.”

Violet laughed, partly from the pure joy of being with him as his wife and partly from the way his beard tickled her neck. “Mr. Collins… Richard…” She brought his lips to hers again, kissing him passionately. “I love you, too.”

[massmurdera]

2019 & 2010s Best/Worst

Because I like lists and cataloguing the dumb shit I cared about. As my brother once said after seeing and reviewing NOW YOU SEE ME on a lazy Sunday, ‘Some would say it was a waste of time, others might say it was a colossal waste of time.’     

I’ll admit, it’s a bit over-the-top. Particularly including the Pats, but yeah, in the Tom Brady era that started when I was 14 as a Freshman in high school to 33 years old now and wrapping up soon-ish (?), there’s not a chance in hell I’ll care as intimately about this shit. I grew up with it at just the right time.

2019 MOVIES  TOP TIER 1) Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 2) Uncut Gems 2nd TIER 3) Knives Out 4) Parasite 5) Little Women 6) Midsommer 3rd TIER 7) John Wick III 8) Ready or Not 9) Marriage Story 10) Joker 11) Irishman 12) Shazam! 13) Us UNDERRATED Ready or Not TOO LONG John Wick III; Irishman SOLID El Camino GOOD BAD 6 Underground OK 21 Bridges; Avengers: Endgame; Dolemite is my Name; Dragged Across Concrete; Fighting With My Family; Hustlers; Knock Down the House; Longshot; the Report; Two Popes MEH Always Be My Maybe; Death of Dick Long; High Flying Bird; Spiderman: Far From Home; Standoff at Sparrow Creek DISAPPOINTING Hobbs & Shaw; Toy Story 4; Triple Frontier SUCK Laundromat; Under the Silver Lake OVERRATED Ad Astra; Booksmart; the Farewell FUNNIEST SCENE Dicaprio flipping out in movie trailer BEST CLIMAX/ENDING Once Upon a Time; Uncut Gems HAVEN’T SEEN 1917; Apollo 11; Beach Bum; Dark Waters; Ford vs Ferrari; Honey Boy; Jojo Rabbit; the Lighthouse; Star Wars 2019 TV  TOP TIER 1) Succession 2) Fleabag 3) Watchmen 2nd TIER 4) When They See Us 5) Barry 6) Unbelievable 7) Chernobyl 8) Sex Education DAMN GOOD Big Mouth; the Boys; Brockmire; Derry Girls; Euphoria; Loudest Voice; Mindhunter; Pen15; Righteous Gemstones; Veep WATCHABLE Atypical; Bosch; Dark; Goliath; Karate Kid; Kominsky Method; Mandalorian; Mr Robot; Mrs Fletcher; Russian Doll; Warrior HIGH/LOW I Think You Should Leave SHIT END FOR ALL-TIME GREAT Game of Thrones HALF-WATCH Living With Yourself; Raising Dion; the Society NOT UP TO STANDARD Stranger Things; GLOW; Killing Eve; True Detective BAD Luther; Shameless; Silicon Valley; SNL SUCK 13 Reasons Why; Big Little Lies; the Witcher FUNNIEST Desus & Mero DOCS 1) Fyre: both  2) Ted Bundy Tapes 3) American Factory 4) Leaving Neverland STAND-UP SPECIALS 1) Burr 2) Chappelle 3) Jeselnik 4) Birbiglia 5) Gulman BEHIND ON SHOWS I DIG Brooklyn 99; Catastrophe; Corporate; Expanse; Good Place; It’s Always Sunny; Letterkenny 2010s TV  DRAMA 1) Breaking Bad 2) Game of Thrones 3) Justified 4) Mad Men 5) Hannibal 6) Banshee ANTHOLOGY/LIMITED SERIES 1) Fargo SII 2) True Detective SI 3) When They See Us 4) People Vs OJ Simpson 5) Chernobyl 6) Show Me a Hero 7) the Night Of 8) Honorable Woman COMEDY 1) Atlanta 2) Fleabag 3) Veep 4) Big Mouth 5) Parks & Rec 6) Rick & Morty 7) Nathan for You 8) Review 9) American Vandal HIT/MISS Black Mirror OVERRATED Boardwalk Empire; House of Cards; Peaky Blinders; Westworld UNDERRATED Banshee; Brockmire; Hannibal FUN HATE-WATCH Newsroom DOWNHILL Homeland; How I Met Your Mother; Legion; Sons of Anarchy HATED Girls; Leftovers; Rectify UNWATCHABLE Twin Peaks BEST ENDINGS Breaking Bad; Justified; Fleabag; Parks & Rec DUMBEST ENDING Dexter; Sons of Anarchy LATE NIGHT Desus & Mero POLITICAL John Oliver 2010s MOVIES 2010 Social Network Animal Kingdom; the Fighter; Four Lions; Inside Job; Jackass 3; MacGruber; Shutter Island; Toy Story 3; True Grit; Winter’s Bone 2011 the Raid Descendents; Drive; Fast Five; the Guard; Mission Impossible 4; Take This Waltz; Warrior 2012 Magic Mike 21 Jump Street; Argo; Cabin in the Woods; Chronicle; Django Unchained; Goon; Looper; Queen of Versailles; Silver Linings Playbook; Skyfall 2013 Wolf of Wall Street Before Midnight; the Conjuring; Gravity; Her; Inside Llewyn Davis; Prisoners; Short-Term 12 2014 John Wick the Drop; Edge of Tomorrow; Gone Girl; the Guest; Lego Movie; Nightcrawler; the Raid 2; Whiplash 2015 Mad Max 7 Days in Hell; Big Short; Brooklyn; Creed; Ex Machina; Fast 7; It Follows; Logan; Magic Mike XXL; the Martian; Me and Earl and the Dying Girl; Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation; Sicario 2016 the Nice Guys Deadpool; Edge of Seventeen; Everybody Wants Some!; Green Room; La La Land; Manchester By the Sea; Moonlight; OJ: Made in America; Popstar; Sing Street; Weiner 2017 Get Out Blade Runner 2049; Coco; Dunkirk; Lady Bird; Logan; Thor Ragnorak; Tour de Pharmacy 2018 Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse BlacKKKlansman; Den of Thieves; Hereditary; If Beale Street Could Talk; Minding the Gap; Sorry to Bother You

THE BEST Mad Max BEST DOC OJ: Made in America FUNNIEST DOC Tickled UNDERRATED DOC Weiner HORROR Hereditary FAVORITE/FUNNIEST PERFORMANCE Ryan Gosling (Nice Guys) DESERVED 5 SEQUELS the Nice Guys SUPERHERO Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse WAR Dunkirk BEST FIGHT SCENES the Raid UNDERRATED any Lonely Island project NICE TRY Dark Knight Rises; Inception; Interstellar; Widows STAND-UP 2010s FAVORITE Bill Burr NEXT BEST Ali Wong; Anthony Jeselnik; Kyle Kinane; Bert Kreischer; Marc Maron; John Mulaney; Patton Oswalt; Rory Scovel; Tom Segura COMEBACK Chappelle DOWNFALL Louis CK DIED BEFORE PRIME Patrice O’Neal, Greg Giraldo UNDERRATED Joe Derosa MUST-SEE LIVE Robert Kelly  PODCASTS 2010s  BEST/FUNNIEST/UNDERRATED Walking the Room RUNNER-UP 600 Dollar Podcast ONE-MAN RANT Bill Burr Monday Morning Podcast SPORTS Pardon My Take RIFFING Bodega Boys HISTORY/COMEDY Dollop HISTORY DEEP DIVE Hardcore History MOVIES Rewatchables HATE-WATCH CRITICISM West Wing Thing POP CULTURE/FILM Frotcast MIXED Revisionist History GOOD/BAD Joe Rogan: GOOD: propping up comic friends; BAD: useful idiot for propping up bad faith fascists who should be put out to pasture INTERNET CURIOSITY Reply All LEFTIST POLITICS Chapo Trap House TRUE CRIME In the Dark ADVICE Don’t Take Bullshit From Fuckers LAME Pod Save America OVERRATED Missing Richard Simmons DIDN’T LIKE S-Town SERIAL Season 3>Season 1 TRUMP Trump, Inc SPORTS SCHAUDENFREUDE Fuck the Chargers OKAY Bill Simmons WTF WITH MARON good when he talks to comics MURDER My Favorite Murder OTHER GOOD ONES Hound Tall; Press Box

2010s MUSIC  FAVORITE anything Brian Fallon ROCK BAND Menzingers SONG Robyn-‘Dancing On My Own’ POP-PUNK BAND Wonder Years LIVE ALBUM Horrible Crowes-‘Elsie’ HEAVY BAND Every Time I Die ELECTRONIC Chvrches SOLO Rihanna COVER ALBUM Dustin Kensrue-‘Thoughts on a Different Blood’ GO-TO AT GYM Story So Far OFF THE INEVITABLE & IRRECOVERABLE DEEP END Kanye KIND OF LIKE THE MUSIC/HATE THE PERSON: LIKE KANYE Taylor Swift, Bieber THOUGHT I’D HATE BUT DOES NOT SUCK Lana Del Rey; Post Malone OTHER FAVES 1975; Arctic Monkeys; Beach Slang; Black Keys; Bon Iver; Carly Rae Jepsen; the National; Thrice MIXED Chance the Rapper; Kendrick Lamar I’ll be honest I spent far more time listening to podcasts nearly all the time and just listened to mostly the same couple of things I liked. 2010s PATRIOTS  2010s BEST GAMES 1) Seahawks Super Bowl 2) Falcons Super Bowl 3) Ravens 2015 Divisional 4) Chiefs 2019 AFCCG UNDERRATED CLASSIC Ravens 2015 Divisional BRADY/GRONK GO DOWN LIKE CHAMPS 1) 2018 Eagles Super Bowl 2) Broncos 2015 AFCCG: Brady’ offensive line was a sieve EITHER WAY Giants Super Bowl: game changed when Brady’s shoulder got fucked up by Tuck FAVORITE PLAYER TB12 MOST FUN/DOMINANT Gronk HEART OF TEAM Edelman BELOVED Wilfork ROCK SOLID 1) Hightower 2) McCourty 3) James White 1st BALLOT HALL OF FAMERS 1) Brady 2) Gronk 3) Revis LATER BALLOT 1) Edelman 2) Scarnecchia 3) Welker 4) Wilfork 5) Slater MAKING AN ARGUMENT Gilmore PATS HALL ONLY 1) McCourty 2) Hightower 3) Mankins 4) White 5) Gostkowski 6) Mayo 7) Chung UNDERRATED/GOOD VALUE 1) Amendola 2) Vollmer 3) Ninkovich 4) Chung 5) Woodhead DESERVED BETTER Welker UNSUNG Slater OVERRATED 1) Solder 2) Brandin Cooks NO-SHOWS Dolphins (Dec ’19); Jets Divisional (Jan ‘11) BEST REGULAR SEASON WINS 1) 2013 Broncos 2) 2017 Steelers 3) 2013 Saints BEST REGULAR SEASON LOSSES 1) 2012 49ers 2) 2016 Seahawks 3) 2014 Packers 4) 2015 Broncos LOL Miami Miracle: saved by winning Super Bowl LEAST TALENTED TEAM 1) 2013 by a mile 2) 2010 3) 2011 4) 2018 BEST TEAM 1) 2014  2) 2016 BEST PLAYS (NON-GRONK) 1) Butler INT Seahawks 2) Edelman TD pass vs Ravens 3) Buttfumble Jets 4) Edelman catch vs Falcons 5) Walk-off TD vs Falcons 6) Dan Connolly kick return 7) Brady TD pass to LaFell 2015 Divisional POUNDED TABLE TO DRAFT 1) Lamar Jackson 2) Kittle 3) AJ Brown 4) Honey Badger 5) Stefon Diggs WANTED BUT OUT OF REACH 1) Aaron Donald 2) Quenton Nelson 3) Derwin James 4) Hopkins 5) TJ Watt 6) Saquon 7) Keenan Allen 8) McCaffrey 9) Gurley WOULD’VE WON IT ALL IF NOT FOR INJURIES 2011, 2012, 2015, 2017. That’s football HEALTHIEST SEASON 2018 ROPE-A-DOPED/GOT BY ON VETERAN GUILE 2018: Belichick’s best coaching FAVORITE PICKS AT THE TIME OF GUYS I WANTED 1) Gronk 2) Hightower/Chandler Jones 3) Shaq Mason MOVES I HATED THAT I WAS WRONG ABOUT 1) Stephon Gilmore 2) trading Jamie Collins MOST IMPROVED Marcus Cannon BEST FIND Kyle Van Noy MOVE I LOVED getting Blount back the 2nd time IF BUTLER WASN’T BENCHED, DO THEY BEAT THE EAGLES? Yes 100%. If only because, if nothing else, he can tackle BUTLER’s INT KILLED THE ‘LEGION OF BOOM’ SEAHAWKS WOULD-BE DYNASTY Yes DRAFT REACH THAT MADE NO SENSE Jordan Richards: Tavon Wilson 2.0 BAD DRAFT MOVES 1) Dominique Easley 2) Cyrus Jones 3) Dobson 4) Mallett DIRTY SECRET Belichick sucks at drafting in 2nd round WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD IF HE STAYED HEALTHY Malcolm Mitchell HATE TO SEE WALK BUT COULDN’T AFFORD 1) Trey Flowers 2) Chandler Jones 3) Jimmy G 4) Talib 5) Akiem Hicks DEFLATEGATE fraud/power trip job by Goodell/owners BRADY OR BELICHICK MORE VALUABLE Brady 100% DISAPPOINTING/GAMBLES 1) Ochocinco 2) Michael Bennett: got him 2 years too late 3) Fanene signing 4) Haynesworth BEST SHORT-TERM 1) Martellus Bennett 2) Chris Long 3) Revis 4) Brian Waters SUSPECT CHARACTERS/EDGY PERSONALITY MACHINES Brandon Spikes; Brandon Browner…SERIAL KILLER Aaron Hernandez PERSONALITY DISORDER DISASTER Antonio Brown: bad signing/unexpected HOW THE FUCK DID WE LOSE TO THAT GUY? Eli Manning/Nick Foles LIFESAVER Scarnecchia MCDANIELS Frustrating—but continuity matters REFS FUCKED OVER Gronk  MISCELANNEOUS 2010s GOOD/ENJOY Bernie Sanders/AOC: people who actually want to get good done that’s long overdue…Lebron James; Stephen Curry; Kawhi; Zion Williamson; Luka Doncic...Lamar Jackson; Pat Mahomes; JJ Watt; Marshawn Lynch…Coach Ed Orgeron...David Ortiz…2011 Bruins…memes…Don Winslow crime novels…David Roth writing on Trump…David Grann non-fiction…’Book of Mormon’ DID NOT ENJOY Kyrie Irving…Deflategate…LeBron on the Heat…Bobby Valentine DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE ‘Between the World and Me’…Elon Musk…Lin Manuel-Miranda/’Hamilton’ INDEFENSIBLY AND INFURIATINGLY BAD THE MORE YOU LOOK AT IT Facebook…Obama Presidency/Democratic Party Leadership EVERYDAY DISASTER Media: CNN; Fox; MSNBC; NY Times Op-Ed…Trump/Republicans: Trump presidency was basically 2010s 9/11 for inevitable disastrous fallout & consequences my generation will never recover from…Grifters Trojan horsing way in shamelessly (Trump administration; Ben Shapiro; Alex Jones; Milo; Jordan Peterson, Tomi Lahren, etc.) and no repercussions...Republican Party basically one goal: to troll libs even with shitty ideas that suck FAVORITES WHO DIED Bourdain; Elmore Leonard; Garry Shandling; Muhammad Ali; Robin Williams; Tom Petty BEST TALENT CUT SHORT Philip Seymour Hoffman SHITTIEST PEOPLE WHO DIED Antonin Scalia; George HW Bush; John McCain; Osama; Steve Jobs; Whitey Bulger I FORGOT THAT SHIT HAPPENED Charlie Sheen loses it JEFFREY EPSTEIN did not kill himself WHAT DEFINES 2010s Amazon/Bezos…Climate Change/Gun Violence inaction…Journalism being taken over by Bane Capital-esque vultures/local places dying...one-sided Class War by the uber-rich…#MeToo…Netflix…Opioids…Outrage/Cancel culture…Police Injustice…Silicon Valley…Social Media…Superhero shit…Your mom

[blackfreethinkers]

This is where helicoptering and black mothering diverge. While helicopter moms are busy multiplying their children’s privilege and advantages, many black moms are fighting to protect their children from the structural disadvantages that keep opportunity just out of reach.

The burden of inequality

Even in an age of rising inequality, white children find socioeconomic mobility easier to come by than do black children. In Richard Chetty’s landmark study of 20 million Americans, one in 10 black kids who grew up poor made it to the top two quintiles of earners as adults. For white kids, that figure was one in four.

Inequality follows black children to school, a place traditionally seen as a vehicle for mobility. Black children are disciplined more often and more harshly than their white classmates. They are more likely to be arrested in school—in part because they are more likely to have police officers stationed at their schools. From preschool (pdf) onward, black children are suspended at almost four times the rate of their white peers, and research shows that teachers are more likely to expect black children, and especially black boys, to display “challenging behavior” even before they do anything wrong.

The threats extend beyond the classroom. Black teens go to jail for committing fewer crimes than their white counterparts. Black children are overrepresented in arrests for nebulous, low-level charges like loitering, breaking curfew, and suspicion. During the admissions scandal, many observers pointed out that black mothers had faced criminal charges for trying to get their kids into better schools, too—under very different circumstances. Tanya McDowell (sometimes written as Tonya) was charged with larceny for “stealing” $15,000 from Norwalk, Connecticut by sending her son to a public school there when they actually lived in homeless shelters in nearby, poorer Bridgeport. Kelley Williams-Bolar was sentenced to jail in Ohio for using her father’s address to send her kids to a better-funded public school.

“When my child comes to me and tells me something is wrong, I believe my children first.” These fundamentally different odds create separate motivations for black and white parents to be protective, even when they share class backgrounds. Riché Barnes, an anthropologist at Yale and the author of Raising the Race: Black Career Women Redefine Marriage, Motherhood, and Community, says the term “good school” holds different meanings for some black families. While white parents might be looking for schools that are mostly white and have high test scores, those same environments can actually hurt black students.

Research shows that non-black teachers routinely underestimate black children’s academic potential. Black kids who have had at least one black teacher by third grade are 7% more likely to graduate from high school and 13% more likely to enroll in college than their counterparts without black teachers.

In light of these statistics, Barnes says black parents are beginning to think, “Maybe my kids are better off in a school where the teachers love them and care about them and their heritage and want to teach them to love themselves and their heritage. And that ends up being just as important as if you do well on that test.”

For Winnie Caldwell, a 30-year-old mom raising her son in St. Louis, the challenge of finding the right school for her child came into focus in 2014, when her son was one of two black children in his third grade class. It was the year that Michael Brown, a black teenager, was killed by a white police officer in nearby Ferguson, Missouri. Caldwell says her son’s teacher, who was white, asked the class about the shooting and made it clear that she believed Brown was at fault. When Caldwell’s son came home that day, he asked, “Is that what’s going to happen to me when I’m 18? If I’m walking down the street, and the police find me, am I gonna die?”

Aisha Wadud, a 36-year-old mother of four from Minneapolis, says she is “very stern with other adults when it comes to [her] children and their care.” She’s a fierce advocate for them the way her mother was for her—Wadud remembers her mother taking on her younger sister’s school after a teacher called her a racial slur, the culmination of a trend of purposefully neglecting black students. “When my child comes to me and tells me something is wrong, I believe my children first,” Wadud says of her own approach to parenting. “And then I take action.”

The mothers who shared their stories with Quartz were clear that not all interactions with their children’s educators have been negative. “There are teachers and staff out here that advocate for our kids when we don’t have the time to do so. As a single mom, I know both sides,” Caldwell says. Alston, the Atlanta mother, is pleased with her children’s schools and appreciates that when she raises concerns, the teachers and administrators take them seriously.

Still, the toll of adversarial interactions with other authority figures in their children’s lives weighs on black parents. Just under half of parents of black children are very satisfied with their children’s schools, compared with 60% of parents overall and 65% of parents of white children. Dissatisfaction and concern over their children’s ability to feel confident and succeed in schools where they might be overlooked or mistreated leads some black parents to seek alternatives to traditional school settings—including schools with Afrocentric curricula or homeschooling.

Since the 2014 incident, Caldwell’s son, now 13, has moved to a majority-black, all-boys school. He also founded a nationwide book club for black boys. Though Caldwell says she did not choose her son’s new school based on its racial composition, she enjoys seeing him surrounded by other boys who look like him. “They have this sense of brotherhood, and I can tell that that’s infinitely helped his education.”

Parenting while black

Black parents who are forced to teach their children how to cope with inequality have to contend with another set of prejudices themselves, including being blamed for their children’s supposed misdeeds. A Google search of “African American parenting” or “Black parenting” returns results on authoritarianism, hostility, and toxic stress. Featured articles blame black parents for preschoolers’ bad behavior, adolescents’ obesity, and teens’ drug use. In the top results, there is nothing to be found about watchful protectiveness. (Much of this is about black mothers—black fathers are often excluded from conversations about parenting because academia and pop culture alike have perpetuated the stereotype that they do not parent, though research shows that black men actually spend more time with their children than men of other racial groups, regardless of whether they live full-time with their kids.)

“They’re seen as bad mothers,” says Barnes. “That’s a historical stereotype: That black women were bad mothers to their own children while at the same time being the women who raised white people [as enslaved caregivers and domestic servants].”

“They’re seen as bad mothers.”

Black mothers’ vigilance and protectiveness long predates the intensive parenting boom in the 1990s. According to Barnes, whose work examines contemporary strategic mothering, black women have been watchful parents since slavery. “The community of enslaved women was charged on their own with ensuring the survival of those children, whether biological or not. And that’s a framework that has lasted throughout the African American experience,” she says.

Reporter Dani McClain agrees. In her account of Black motherhood, We Live for the We, she writes, “Black women have had to inhabit a different understanding of motherhood in order to navigate American life. If we merely accepted the status quo and failed to challenge the forces that have kept black people and women oppressed, then we participated in our own and our children’s destruction.” McClain’s words point to another reality of black motherhood—that raising healthy, happy black children is political. Under slavery and Jim Crow, when racial violence routinely stole black children away, keeping a black family together was an act of rebellion. McClain points out that even today, black mothers are charged with organizing movements while still mourning children lost to shootings by police and vigilantes.

Even so, mainstream narratives of motherhood exclude black women. When the author Neferti Austin began the process of adopting a child, she struggled to find books written by or for black mothers. The resources she found seemed to assume all moms were white and overlooked experiences common to black mothers and mothers-to-be: navigating higher-risk pregnancies, caring for children’s natural hair, explaining and combating systemic racism, or having “the talk” about interacting with police.

Austin decided to publish a book of her own, titled Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America. Similarly frustrated with the lack of resources for new black mothers, Dani McClain wrote her book on black motherhood, too. Neither is a how-to guide, but both offer a comforting and all-too-rare message to black mothers: you are not alone.

This message is perhaps the oldest strategy black women have employed to sustain themselves and their families. Throughout history, black women have collectively raised communities of children, biologically related and not. These “othermothers,” as black feminist scholar Patricia Hill Collins terms them, provide crucial support to black children and to one another. Together, they face down inequality and seemingly unbeatable odds to ensure their families survive—and thrive. In Barnes’ words, black women have always known, “[Mothering] is not just about raising children… It’s not just about making sure people are alive. It’s also about making sure that their spirits are intact, that their souls are intact, that they are finding joy.”

[veronicamarsconfessions]

The Veronica Mars revival will present Veronica in a new light.

The upcoming eight-episode series of the beloved cult drama kicks off five years after the end of the fan-funded 2014 film and will be more adult than ever. Hulu's Senior VP of Originals, Craig Erwich, offered an update on the anticipated return of the expert sleuth as she investigates a brand new case in Neptune, California.

"With Veronica Mars, [creator] Rob Thomas, who is the steward of the franchise, really threaded the needle. From what I've seen the show, and the scripts are excellent, it is very true to the character, it is very true to the world, it's true to the tone of the show and what made people fall in love with the show," Erwich said Monday at the Television Critics Association press tour. "But it is definitely an update. She is not a little girl anymore. You will see her dealing with contemporary issues in a contemporary world."

A very early (and brief) first look clip from the new series featured Bell as Veronica lamenting her need for money is the primary reason she still is in the P.I. business. 

"I would have walked away if we didn't need the money. Knowing what I know now, I wish I had," Veronica says in voiceover, as she comes across a murder scene of a young woman. "But there was a girl, and I started to care about the girl, and if you know anything about what I do, that's never good."

Asked whether Hulu was proactive in seeking out a new iteration of Veronica Mars, Erwich admitted they weren't. It was an intriguing pitch from Thomas that prompted them to go ahead with a revival.

"We weren't necessarily looking to make another version of Veronica Mars. What happened was Rob Thomas came into our office and explained very passionately about why he wanted to do this, how he was going to do this," Erwich said. There was a real creative reason for it. We're not just doing it for the sake of doing it. We're very strategic about those choices."

The revival series brings back Bell, Enrico Colantoni (Keith Mars), Jason Dohring (Logan Echolls), Francis Capra (Eli "Weevil" Navarro), Percy Daggs III (Wallace Fennel), Ryan Hansen (Dick Casablancas), Max Greenfield (Leo D'Amato), Daran Norris (Cliff McCormack), Adam Rose(Max) and David Starzyk (Richard Casablancas). New cast members include Dawnn Lewis, Kirby Howell-Baptiste, Patton Oswalt, Clifton Collins Jr., Izabela Vidovic, J.K. Simmons and Tyler Alvarez.

Earlier this year, ET spoke with Hansen about reuniting with his co-stars for the revival, and though he remained mum on details, he hinted that his character, Dick Casablancas, has a minor role.

"They are doing eight episodes and I already finished my bit and headed off to Fiji, but ... every time we get to do a little something with Veronica Mars, it's such a treat," he said in January. "It's the show that keeps on giving and, you know, I pretty much started on that show. So, to keep having that fan base still, and getting able to play with the cast that I kind of I grew up with, it's truly amazing."

Last September, Bell hinted to ET that the new Veronica Mars is "much more adult." "The show will have grown with Veronica. It will also have grown with the fan base because, you know, it was on 15 years ago," she said at the time. "It will be a much bigger world cinematically."

"Veronica Mars more than any other project I have done has been one that has clung to people," Bell noted. "When I meet fans, they still tell me it's so significant in their lives. So, to me, that says maybe that story is not over. And we always refer to Veronica as a hero and cape and now I think more than ever, people want to see a hero and an underdog that is fighting for good. I think she is still important to people and I don't think her story is over."

Veronica Mars originally ran from 2004 to 2007, on the now-defunct UPN and The CW, before a Kickstarter campaign in 2013 successfully funded the 2014 sequel film. The show also had a 2014 digital spinoff, Play It Again, Dick, on the CW Seed. It starred Hansen working to stage a Dick Casablancas-centered take on Veronica Mars.

[tozierpunks]

OMG OLEASE DO A PART 2 OF THE ROOMATE REDDIE IM DYING ITS SO GOOOOOD

Me @ me: You’re gonna drop the ball, don’t do it.Me @ this ask: I’m here to drop balls and eat spaghetti. And I’m all out of spaghetti.Part [1] Here!

From outside the apartment, Eddie could hear the bass of Richie’s speakers. Rolling his eyes, he tucked the mail into his bag and fumbled with his keys. A wave of warm air hit his face, carrying the scent of onions. In the kitchen, Richie held two meat mallets, smashing a poor chicken breast to the beat of Rock Me Amadeus. He danced around the narrow island counter, bobbing his head to the tune.

Eddie set the mail on the coffee table, hanging his messenger bag with the coats. The song faded into the next, and one of Eddie’s favorites began playing. Richie typically kept it on their shared 80′s playlist when he knew Eddie would be home. Glancing at Richie, he couldn’t help but laugh, watching him pretend to play a keyboard. He held the mallet to his face, dramatically singing.

Regardless of whether or not he would play along, Richie pantomimed swinging a lasso, throwing it around Eddie. He playfully tugged the imaginary rope, and Eddie couldn’t fight the smile. Hopping closer, he started mouthing the words with his roommate.

Using the term “roommate” felt strange, as accurate as it was. They’d grown up together; Eddie couldn’t remember a day without Richie. He’d known him as long as he’d known Bill, and they might as well have been born together. When they left their hometown, all of them electing to attend the University of Maine, the original plan was to rent a house together. It worked for six months, but house renting turned out to be expensive (and Stan was quick to say “I told you so”). Apartments weren’t much cheaper, but splitting the cost helped significantly.

The difficult part came when choosing the living arrangements. One complex didn’t rub Bev the right way. Another complex didn’t allow dogs, so Mike’s adorable Mr. Chips was an immediate disqualification. Nearly every complex failed to meet their room needs. So the breaking of the group came. They agreed on a complex, and drew straws. Or, well... the lads did. Bev chose to move in with girls from her class: Kay McCall and Audra Phillips. Ben, Bill, Stan and Mike shared a three bedroom across the hall from the girls. This left Richie and Eddie, and they were fortunate enough to snag a two bedroom in the building across the parking lot.

So for the past year and a half, Eddie lived with his lifelong best friend. A majority of the time, it was easy.

Then there were times like last month. Technically, one time. Eddie was trapped in Richie’s closet, Richie masturbated, and Eddie put the situation to bed without even thinking of touching it again.

Phil Collins’ “You Can’t Hurry Love” started playing, and Eddie snapped out of his thoughts, laughing upon realizing Richie was doing the Carlton dance.

“Richard, don’t!” he cackled, shaking his head. Richie pouted, grabbing his phone.

“What? You don’t like the song?” And without waiting for an answer, he skipped to the next. Tears For Fears. Everybody Wants to Rule the World. Possibly Eddie’s favorite song in the whole world. “C’mon, I know you love this one, Eds. Dance with me, why don’t ya?” One hand on his stomach, the other up in the air, holding an invisible partners’ hand, he two stepped his way closer.

“What have I told you about calling me Eds?” Eddie asked tiredly, although the small smile on his face suggested he wasn’t tired at all.

“It turns you on, right?”“Richard.”“Alright, alright, I’m sorry. You’re not too mad to dance, are you? It’s your favorite! Plus, I’ve been working all day on this chicken- I know you love spicy stuff, so I went out and bought that Cajun seasoning, I sauteed some onions. Eddie, I went all out on this,” he said. Eddie’s mouth twisted, and he peered over Richie’s shoulder to see the state of their kitchen.

Miraculously, the mess appeared to be at a minimum.

“Oh, fine, you got me,” he answered.

“Just not to this song!”“Wha- Richie, I love this song!”“Nope, too slow!”

Changing to the next in queue, he knew exactly what he was doing, because Eddie grinned and bobbed his head. Love Shack was a timeless classic, and arguably Richie’s favorite song from the 80′s. Incredible, considering Queen released the albums they did then. Of course, everyone’s favorite song was Bohemian Rhapsody; that went without saying, the rest of the music in the world was simply competing for second place.

The pair danced, not stopping until the timer buzzed almost a dozen songs later.

As Richie took out the chicken and checked it, Eddie looked through their mail. Usually it was only credit card offers which neither of them took; they already had one each, a financial move Ben advised them to make for credit building. Richie didn’t pay much attention as Eddie opened and trashed the letters.

“What’s the occasion, Rich?” he asked, pausing only to look at how Richie carefully plated the food.

“You really don’t know?”“I asked, didn’t I?”

Richie hesitated. If Eddie didn’t remember, he didn’t want to say. He continued to throw out the junk mail, and Richie racked his brains for a lie. Of course, before he could even attempt, Eddie froze.

In his hands - the last letter of the bunch - was a bright pink envelope, the size of a greeting card. Wordlessly, he opened it, pulling out the card and reading it. He got one yearly since he’d started school. Since he left Sonia. Richie waited for him to speak; he didn’t want to break the silence if it was what Eddie needed.

“That’s right,” he finally sighed. “Dad died today.”

Eddie didn’t think much of Frank Kaspbrak. His passing came when Eddie was a baby, but it affected the rest of his life. Sonia was a wreck without her husband. Richie knew how guilty Eddie felt cutting off contact. She wasn’t necessarily a bad mother; she liked his friends and always welcomed them in as they grew up. She accepted Eddie’s sexuality, and barked off anyone at their church who tried to say otherwise.

But Eddie’s worst - and unfortunately, most vivid - memories were of her sobbing in her room. She drank from time to time, scaring Eddie to death when she would drive to get more alcohol. Richie remembered times where he would steal booze from his parents to bring to Eddie, just so he wouldn’t panic over Sonia. Leaving her without a word on the hardest day of the year for her...

Richie thought a nice dinner might keep his mind occupied. He bought Love Simon on their Amazon account, and as a backup, he even bought Mean Girls. Eddie once said he didn’t care for the movie, but if he needed a pick-me-up, all he had to do was watch Lizzy Caplan shout, “Your mom’s chest hair!” and he would erupt in uncontrollable giggles.

“Aw Eds- Eddie, don’t cry,” Richie said softly, forgetting the dinner and approaching Eddie with his arms outstretched. “You’ve got your reasons for not calling. She’s an adult, and so are you, man.”

Eddie’s body trembled as he tried to hold back the tears. Yes, he was hurt over his mother. Yes, he wished he knew Frank enough to truly be sad over his death.

But no, that wasn’t why he cried.

Richie made a dinner for him. For an emotional day he didn’t even remember, but Richie did.

Pulling away, he wiped his eyes. Eddie cleared his throat, looking up at Richie. For a split second, Eddie thought he could kiss him. His heart skipped a beat and he almost felt himself leaning in closer.

But he didn’t.

“I’m fine, Rich, I just- it all hit me, you know?” he said, sniffling. Richie stared at him, uncertain. “I promise I’m okay- honestly, the smell of the chicken is making me hungry.” He laughed, and it sounded genuine. Richie seemed to believe it, handing his plate over.

“Well eat up, Eds. I have a whole night planned!” he exclaimed, turning on the TV. Eddie sat beside him, a tiny smile on his face.

He really was in love with his best friend, and Richie had no clue.

[sydcollins-blog1]

good morning starshines, the earth says hello! hi my name is trey and i have a basketball game tomorrow jk jk my name is actually mackenzie and i don’t have one because i am seriously inactive and not in shape but i am the girl who always quote vines because she misses it dearly! i am super excited to be here and to be able to introduce you all to my fucking cinnamon apple and my honey bunched of oats, Sydney Collins!

you won’t believe who i just saw walking down main street! ELIZABETH LAIL! what do you mean that’s just SYDNEY COLLINS? who is SHE? a 24 year-old BARISTA…interesting. and the CIS-FEMALE is + SWEET & + NURTURING , but i should watch out for when they are -  CLUMSY & - NAIVE? will do. ( mackenzie / 24 / cst )

BASIC INFORMATION:

name: sydney marie collins age: twenty four years old gender: female original birthplace: yonkers, new york date of birth: july 8th, 1994 sexual orientation: bisexual current relationship status: single occupation: barista at sips hobbies: drawing, playing with animals, baking

BACK STORY:

Sydney Collins was originally born Sydney Marie Jackson to a couple in New York City. Her mother had her when she was just in high school and with her parents just kicking her out and the father no where in the picture, she was unable to take care of Sydney especially at her age so she was forced to put her up for adoption in hopes of her finding a family that will take care of her.

She grew up in the foster system and watched as all of her friends got adopted while she stayed behind, but her positive attitude kept her running on sheer belief that one day she would be adopted by parents who would love her almost as much as she would love them. When she was just eight years old her dreams finally came true: she got adopted.

Abigail and Richard Collins, the ones who ended up adopting her, were unable to have a kid of their very own so they had spent years attempting to find the perfect child and they had almost given up all hope, but then they met Sydney and they knew that she was the one and adopted her. The process was hard, but when it was completed successfully it was one of he greatest moments for all of them.

Growing up with Collins was amazing, they might now have had a lot but they loved her and that was all Sydney ever wanted. However, there was always one thing Sydney wanted that most foster kids wanted was a chance to meet their birth parents or in her case her birth mother. It was an open adoption, so she did have a chance, but the Collins were skeptical of Sydney getting that chance. However, with the help of puppy dog eyes and constant amount of pleading they finally allowed her to do so, but it didn’t really go as she expected. She didn’t want a lot from her birth mom, she just a chance to actually meet her and tell her that she was happy with her parents, but she didn’t even get the chance to do that because her mom never showed. Sydney wait hours for her mom to show and she never did. It broke her heart more so than she would like to admit. She spent days lying in bed mostly crying all the weight of years wanting to meet her and picturing the reunion in her head finally crumbling down on her. Eventually, Sydney was able to get over that day and return to her regular self, but that lingering thought of meeting her birth mother, will always stay with her even after getting stood up.

Growing up, she never really was much of a troubled child. Sure, there were times where she was peer pressured into going to parties during high school and did some rather illegal things like any teenager, but besides that she never was a rebellious child and loved her parents tremendously. 

PERSONALITY:

Sydney is known around the coffee shop as the ‘ball of sunshine’ and can rarely ever be seen without nothing but a warm smile on her face. In her spare time, when she isn’t at the coffee you can either find her at any local animal shelter volunteering and helping out as much as she can or at the park with her sketch pad sketching away all the beauty around her.

Don’t take her sunny personality lightly. Sydney might believe that being nice is always key, but she is not afraid to take someone down a peg or two when they deserve it. Nobody hates a bully more than she does.

Although Sydney loves her job, something a a rare amount of people can say these days especially when they are a barista, she doesn’t plan on being one forever. As a paracosmist, she has many dreams and aspirations, but one that pops up the most besides working at Disney World, is that she would like to become a mother by adopting her own child like her parents did with her. Knowing what it was like in the foster care system and how hard it was watching everyone get adopted before was hard and she hates knowing that other kids are going what she did without the bright and positive attitude she had.

She loves Italian food and besides animals that is the quickest way to her heart. 

All wanted connections can be found here or if you would like to hash out something else please feel free to drop a sweet like on this post or just message me because I am always opened to plots!

[ucflibrary]

“Loveliest of trees, the cherry now Is hung with bloom along the bough,   And stands about the woodland ride   Wearing white for Eastertide.   Now, of my threescore years and ten, Twenty will not come again,    And take from seventy springs a score,   It only leaves me fifty more.   

And since to look at things in bloom    Fifty springs are little room, About the woodlands I will go    To see the cherry hung with snow.” -A.E. Housman, Loveliest of Trees

 Welcome to National Poetry Month!

The Academy of American Poets, inspired by the success of Black History Month and Women’s History Month, created National Poetry Month in 1996. It is the largest literary celebration in the world and UCF Libraries are proud to do their part.

UCF Libraries have gathered suggestions to feature 14 books of poetry that are currently in the UCF collection. These works represent a wide range of favorite poetry books of our faculty and staff.

These, and additional titles, are also on the Featured Bookshelf display on the second (main) floor next to the bank of two elevators where they are joined by a selection of nature poetry.

Click on the Keep Reading link below to see the full descriptions and catalog links.

 A Shropshire Lad by A.E. Housman

Housman is a high-water mark of British lyric poetry, and this fine production captures perfectly his strong, melodic beat and decisive rhyme, and his wonderful way with words. Samuel West's cultivated Midlands accent may not be specifically Shropshire, but his voice and reading are true to Housman who was not, after all, some rough Shropshire lad himself but an Oxford don. His Loveliest of Trees, the Cherry Now and To an Athlete Dying Young are beautifully rendered here. West, you feel, reads poetry as it should be read confidently, with ease and conviction, as if all the world spoke in meter and rhyme.

Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 All the Poems of Stevie Smith by Stevie Smith

Stevie Smith is among the most popular British poets of the twentieth century. Her poem “Not Waving but Drowning” has been widely anthologized, and her life was celebrated in the classic 1978 movie Stevie. This new and updated edition of Stevie Smith’s collected poems includes hundreds of works from her thirty-five-year career. The Smith scholar Will May collects poems and illustrations from published volumes, provides fascinating details about their provenance, and describes the various versions Smith presented. Satirical, mischievous, teasing, disarming, Smith’s poems take readers from comedy to tragedy and back again, while her line drawings are by turns unsettling and beguiling.

Suggested by Rachel Edford, Teaching & Engagement

 Calling a Wolf a Wolf by Kaveh Akbar

This highly-anticipated debut boldly confronts addiction and courses the strenuous path of recovery, beginning in the wilds of the mind. Poems confront craving, control, the constant battle of alcoholism and sobriety, and the questioning of the self and its instincts within the context of this never-ending fight.

Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 Dirt Eaters by Teri Youmans Grimm

The book was born of the consequences of leaving a place and family steeped in the history and traditions of the South. The poet, having moved to the Midwest, has become a sort of expatriate in her father's eyes, and she herself has underestimated the hold that home would have over her. These poems are a mystical journey back through her ancestry. The dead serve as conjurers and characters both real and mythologized throughout the collection--Uncle Seward, who uses dice and the Bible as a means of prophecy; blind Aunt Ater, who finds solace and doom in biblical numbers; an unlucky man facing certain death as he stands on an alligator's back; and women who gorge themselves on dirt--all find their way back to life in these poems. Dirt Eaters seeks grace in the unlikeliest of people and places. Bound up with the peculiar, however, is the poet's own desire to reconcile the handed-down shame and faulty pride within herself as well as the religion of the ecstatic within her own quiet questioning.

Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

 Enough Rope by Dorothy Parker

Suggested by Jamie LaMoreaux, Acquisitions & Collections

 New & Selected Poems by Stephen Dunn

Stephen Dunn is justly celebrated as one of the strongest poets of his generation. Now in this rich gathering, he selects from his eight collections and includes sixteen new poems marked by the haunting "Snowmass Cycle". The heralded clarity and intelligence of Dunn's poems are in full evidence here, as is his ability to charm and evoke pathos. As ever, wit happily resides with seriousness, affirmation coexists with hardship. "I want to find the cool, precise language / for how passion gives rise to passion," Dunn says in one of the new poems. For two decades, such insistence has led him to a wise lucidity that places him among our consequential poets.

Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

 Poems by Edna St. Vincent Millay

One of America's best-loved poets, Edna St Vincent Millay (1892-1950) burst onto the literary scene at a very young age and won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry in 1923. Her lyrics and sonnets have thrilled generations of readers long after the notoriously bohemian lifestyle she led in Greenwich Village in the 1920s ceased to shock them.

Suggested by Jamie LaMoreaux, Acquisitions & Collections

 Poems: North & South, a cold spring by Elizabeth Bishop

Elizabeth Bishop was an American poet and writer from Worcester, Massachusetts. She was the Poet Laureate of the United States from 1949 to 1950, a Pulitzer Prize winner in 1956. and a National Book Award Winner for Poetry in 1970. She is considered one of the most important and distinguished American poets of the 20th century.

Suggested by Rachel Edford, Teaching & Engagement

 Selected Poetry of Ogden Nash: 650 rhymes, verses, lyrics, and poems by Ogden Nash

Gathers poems on a variety of subjects including love, marriage, parenthood, modern life, animals, aging, travel, work, and food.

Suggested by Rachel Edford, Teaching & Engagement & Jamie LaMoreaux, Acquisitions & Collections

 The 100 Best Poems of All Time edited by Leslie Pockell

This poetry companion puts favourite poetry and poets from around the world at your fingertips, enabling you to revisit the classics, encounter unfamiliar masterworks and rediscover old favourites.

Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 The Golden Shovel Anthology: new poems honoring Gwendolyn Brooks edited by Peter Kahn, Ravi Shankar, and Patricia Smith

The last words of each line in a Golden Shovel poem are, in order, words from a line or lines taken from a Brooks poem. The poems are, in a way, secretly encoded to enable both a horizontal reading of the new poem and vertical reading down the right-hand margin of Brooks's original. An array of writers, including Pulitzer Prize winners, T. S. Eliot Prize winners, National Book Award winners, and National Poet Laureates, have written poems for this anthology: Rita Dove, Billy Collins, Nikki Giovani, Sharon Olds, Tracy K. Smith, Mark Doty, Sharon Draper, and Julia Glass are just a few of the contributing poets.

Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 The Heart Aroused: poetry and the preservation of the soul in corporate America by David Whyte

In The Heart Aroused, David Whyte brings his unique perspective as poet and consultant to the workplace, showing readers how fulfilling work can be when they face their fears and follow their dreams. Going beneath the surface concerns about products and profits, organization and order, Whyte addresses the needs of the heart and soul, and the fears and desires that many workers keep hidden.

Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo

Xiomara Batista feels unheard and unable to hide in her Harlem neighborhood. Ever since her body grew into curves, Xiomara Batista has learned to let her fists and her fierceness do the talking. She pours all her frustration and passion onto the pages of a leather notebook, reciting the words to herself like prayers--especially after she catches feelings for a boy in her bio class named Aman, who her family can never know about. Mami is determined to force her daughter to obey the laws of the church, and Xiomara understands that her thoughts are best kept to herself. When she is invited to join her school's slam poetry club, she can't stop thinking about performing her poems.

Suggested by Emma Gisclair, Curriculum Materials Center

 The Poetry of Arab Women: a contemporary anthology edited by Nathalie Handal

Arab women poets work within one of the oldest literary traditions in the world, yet they are virtually unknown in the West. Uniting Arab women poets from the all over the Arab World anti abroad, Nathalie Handal has put together an outstanding collection that introduces poets who write in Arabic, French, English, and Swedish, among them some of the twentieth century's most accomplished poets and today's most exciting new voices. Translated by distinguished translators and poets from around the world, The Poetry of Arab Women showcases the work of 82 poets, among them: Etel Adnan, Andre Chedid, Salma Khadra Jayyusi, Naomi Shihab Nye, and Fadwa Tuqan.

Suggested by Christina Wray, Teaching & Engagement

 The Rain in Portugal by Billy Collins

The Rain in Portugal—a title that admits he’s not much of a rhymer—sheds Collins’s ironic light on such subjects as travel and art, cats and dogs, loneliness and love, beauty and death. A student of the everyday, Collins here contemplates a weather vane, a still life painting, the calendar, and a child lost at a beach. His imaginative fabrications have Shakespeare flying comfortably in first class and Keith Richards supporting the globe on his head. By turns entertaining, engaging, and enlightening, The Rain in Portugal amounts to another chorus of poems from one of the most respected and familiar voices in the world of American poetry.

Suggested by Larry Cooperman, Research & Information Services

[written-within-the-stars]

Be My Valentine’s? - Part Two – Together

Continuing on from...

❁ Harper ❁

“I... I didn’t pack these...” I hadn’t packed anything like pictures or memories. I had heard #Kenzi and #Jenna telling the guys they didn’t want everything going into storage.

Moving the bubble wrap I took out the frame sat in the top. And smiles, my eyes stinging a little as I looked at the three of us.

“A weekend at the lake, and Kenzi wanted a serious picture to keep. Whereas Jenna and I couldn’t stop giggling.”

Shaking my head, I showed it to him. Pointing the girls out to him. Laughing at the next one. “And Jenna is dangerous with a camera! It doesn’t matter is you are asleep; she will take a picture.”

Smiling as I saw the next. “Jenna and Me.. and Kenzi telling up to pout. It didn’t work out.”

❁ Collin ❁

I smiled as she lifted the pictures, one after another. I recognised #Kenzi immediately from the video calls and picture that #Seth had sent. It was nice to put a face to the name for #Jenna. “Those kinds of pictures are always the best.” I said. “When you can’t stop laughing or looking at something other than the camera.”

I smiled and looked at the pictures. “They are really beautiful girls.” I smiled; you should hang these. “Bring a little of Thompson Falls into your life here… something to make you smile when you come home.”

“You don’t need those cheap Instagram tricks… all three of you are beautiful… And a smile is always better than a pout.”

❁ Harper ❁

My fingers traced the glass over the pictures. I knew the girls would have put some thought into which ones they packed.

“They really are beautiful.” My voice a little lower, and sure I missed them like crazy in the moment. However, I was smiling too.

“You are right, I really should put these up.” Setting them on the ground over the bubble wrap I glanced into the box again.

Looking back to him. “Instagram models? So, I don’t have a backup career? I’m heartbroken.” I laugh softly pushing my elbow into his arm.

“Oh.... No!” I could have died at what the next set of frames were. “How could they!” I was laughing and my cheeks burning up all at the same time.

The first was of the three of us at our dance class, and then the others of my childhood. Remembering how my mom loved my hair in two pigtails.

❁ Collin ❁

I blushed a little and shook my head. “I mean if you ever give up you day job you’d get hired in a minute.” I chuckled, I lifted my hand gently brushed my thumb over the rosy apple of her cheek. “But a truly beautiful picture captures the truth. It freezes a moment.” I smiled at her… there was nothing about her that wasn’t perfect exactly how she was.

I laughed and looked at the next four she pulled out. “Oh wow…. So when you say they are family you mean it… You’ve known each other that long?” I smiled. Thompson really wasn’t that different from La Push. I’d my friends my entire, there were a few that drifted in later on, like Luke… but for the most part, I always knew them, my circle was mainly the pack…. So some of them remembered me since before I could walk.

“Friends come and go…” I touched the frame with the three of them. “Family is for life. These have to go on the walls too!” I added the last part quickly, knowing she’d blush and get embarrassed.

❁ Harper ❁

“Thank god, here I could have been so worried.” I knew he was joking and teasing me about the modelling thing. However, I played along because it was funny. I saw him out the side of my eyes, without knowing or thinking I lent into his touch. Heart rising in the Apple where his finger brushed.

“I couldn’t agree with you more.... I just... guess... it never occurred to me... how vital those moments are to hold on to.” I said finding my voice. He took the frames from me and I let him. “Thompson maybe a little bigger than here, however the size doesn’t really matter.

Kenz’s mom, Ruth. And Jenna’s parents Richard and Emma, grew up with my dad Will. Ruth and dad went to the same college, where dad met my mom.

And Ruth met Kenzi’s dad. I guess I was lucky that mom and dad fell madly in love, where as Kenz’s dad.....” I trailed off, because it wasn’t my story to tell. She didn’t know her dad, and she never wanted to know about him. “All I know is that he was from the same town as my mom. But that’s all.”

Shaking my head my cheeks turned a deep red with the embarrassment of putting childhood pictures up. “Oh no... no...” However, he had a point. “Family is for life...” and they were more than family to me. I resigned myself to the idea. “Of course, you would want to put them up. You love photographs.” I really wanted to see his work even more now.

My hands reached into the box to remove the other layer of bubble wrap. At seeing what sat in the box next, my heart leapt, beat faster but the sensation was the same as when I was nervous around Collin.

“Mom and dad...” is all I said. These were some of my most loved pictures of them from my childhood.

❁ Collin ❁

My mouth seemed to flood with saliva when her cheek stained a deeper shade of pink. I nodded when she explained about #Kenzi's dad.

Another puzzle piece fell into place. The Great Wolf building connection with another tribe... and curiosity flared up in me about which one it could be, but it was too soon to dive into her genetic history.

"Everyone loves photographs!" I pointed out with a laugh. "But that, not the point, you are the greatest thing your parent ever did, and they obviously thought that these moments were important enough to freeze. You should come to my house and I'll even the playing field with the ones I have up."

I knelt on the floor beside her and lay my hand on her back making a slow soothing movement. "Your mom is beautiful... you like so alike." I smiled and kept my eyes on the pictures.

❁ Harper ❁

I opened my lips to disagree with him, to say not everyone did like photographs. However, it was something that I knew my family did like.

“Dad used to have the main hall filled with them. Mom started it before....” she died. “Most of these lived on those walls, before Jenna and Dam - moved in.”

My fingers moved over the one with my mom hugging me as a baby. “She was so beautiful... dad always says she was out of his league... however she used to counter with her heart was the kindest she’d ever seen.”

I was thinking of them dancing in the kitchen when I felt Collin’s hand on my back. I brushed my hair over one shoulder, hearing the invitation to his place to look at his baby photos. “You think I look like her?” I smiled watching him as he looked and took in the photos. There was so much warmth there, and care. He really wanted to see this part of me.

“I like thinking it is true.” I set the photo frames to the side careful not to damage them. Glancing into the box, smiling from ear to ear. “And ... this is what you wanted to see... mom’s work.. or at least a few of my favourites.”

The first was of the lake, then of the girls and me playing by the lake, dad holding me, and then dad in the lake. They all brought back so many good memories.

❁ Collin ❁

"Well... judging by his moustache I might agree!" I chuckled. "But it’s the heart that counts." I smiled.

I turned my attention back to her and ran a fingertip along her nose. "You have her nose and her lips."

I beamed at the artwork. "Oh wow... she really was good. These are incredible." I picked up the one of the child sleeping on a man's shoulder. "You and your father?" It sounded like a question, but it was clear.

"Beautiful." I muttered to myself, scanning each one carefully.

❁ Harper ❁

“Hey... he told me it was a phase. One my mom explained was over if he wanted to keep kissing her.”

Smiling, my nose tickling as he touched it, this feeling is calm washed over me again and the pull to stay close to him was back.

I shook my head free from these thoughts. Was this how mom and dad.... Biting my lips. ‘Nope. No way. This was crazy people thinking ’ I told myself. We were just getting to know one another. “I love the thought of having something of hers in me.” I told him.

“She really was talented, wasn’t she?” Nodding my head, my eyes tracing the water colour painting my mom had made. And then once again I found myself watching him taking it all in.

“Dad loved to watch her paint, to give her time alone. So, he would try to keep me busy, and she still painted us and not everything she had around her...” I couldn’t stop the smile “She was amazing.” I whispered more to myself.

❁ Collin ❁

I couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Hey, you have to respect a woman that knows what she wants." I listened to her... my eyes moving from the paintings to her and back. They were such beautiful paintings... and it was clear she had a clear style if you put these between other similar pieces by other artists; you could quickly pick out which ones she had painted.

"She really was, and you have so much more of her than that. We aren't half of our mom and half of our father... we are all of both of them. Who we are is determined by how those souls combine to become one person and the paths we choose? For people like #Kenzi... they get all of the parent that chose to stay and the path shapes the rest of them."

I heard her whisper and leaned in to kiss her cheek, I couldn't protect her from missing her parents. I didn't want to; it was something she needed to do... it was something that proved how fiercely they loved her. But I could protect her from missing them alone.... not always but right now. "I would have loved to meet them... but I feel like the more I know you; the more I know them too."

❁ Harper ❁

The kiss to my cheek made me smile some more. How could it be possible to spend time with another person and feel this happy?

#Nova had curled up beside us and was watching with drifting eyes. The baby girl really wanted to sleep, however she didn’t want to miss out on anything.

Setting the paintings down I turned to face him now. I was a little taken aback by what I was hearing him say. For a man to have such in-depth thoughts and a level of understanding had to be refreshing.

“You’re nothing like... I expected you to be you know that?” I quickly continued before he misunderstood me. “I mean, guys I see and talk to, they...”

I thought for a moment. “...they don’t have this level of understanding or insight. They want to drink and party and... well... just have a mad fun time.” He wasn’t like that. Not from what I saw.

“Is there something you are hiding?” I wave my hand in front of him. “You are a weekend party boy in hiding right? It’s all about the raving?” I was smiling and teasing now as I spoke.

I could hear #Kenzi telling me to stop. To stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. And to have some faith.

❁ Collin ❁

I got where she was coming from… but when you had a direct link to the minds of a packs worth of other guys… From the mature, to immature… artistic to wild… enlightened and well…. Not so much. It gave a pretty grounded sense of the world; I had grieved for parents and grandparent. I had felt the heartbreak of more breakups than I had to my name. I missed friends and family that had left or passed away… Sometimes a few of those things all at once. But I had loved people before I really met them or knew them. I had felt the joy of holding your baby for the first time, first kisses… first loves… only loves. The sight of a bride walking to her groom through his eyes... so… I would never trade it. At least… not yet. I smiled at Harper at the thoughts.

I laughed and shook my head at her. “Oh yeah… I’m totally a secret raver. Warehouse parties… body paint… the whole nine yards.” I brushed her hair behind her ear and smiled. “No hiding… but there a lot about me I want to tell you… and a lot about you I want to learn. But we have time… at least… I really hope we do.” My eyes settled on hers and I smiled. “This isn’t like one of those situations when you met someone you like and you feel like there’s a clock ticking down… how fast or slow things are supposed to move. It all feels kind of… limitless, you know?”

❁ Harper ❁

“Oh, I so called it! Warehouse raves... yes... so, you...” I laughed softly, my eyes on him. Goosebumps covered my skin as his fingers brushed my hair out of my face. I listened to him, and what he was attempting to say. And surprisingly some aspect of it made perfect sense. I just couldn’t put my finger on why or how.

However, as we were being honest with one another I felt a pull to tell him my fears. “I know what you mean, and yet I don’t understand why I do.” My eyes were on him, and I knew this was so confusing for me. So, I was sure I wasn’t making any sense to him.

“I’ve always been the one who tells others to slow down, to take their time and to really get to know someone before jumping in. And I do truly believe in this advice. But when I’m with you. I tell you things I’d never tell someone I just met. I feel.... well.... like I can open up to this... to you... and it’s a little scary.” Biting my lips, my eyes dropped a little.

“I don’t have the best track record when it comes to men...”

❁ Collin ❁

I laughed... Spirits... Laughing with her was so easy, so freeing.

I smiled at her saying she was the sensible one, telling people to go slow and take their time. "Yeah, me too." I smiled. At least when it wasn't an imprint. "I have my fair share of bad choices too. The last time... I didn't listen to my own advice... I didn't follow my instincts and it ended badly. But my instincts are telling me to follow my heart now." I smiled, my eyes connecting with hers. "So... here I am."

❁ Harper ❁

Slowly I allowed my eyes to lift until I found him watching me.

My head tilting to the side as I listened to what he was sharing with me. His ex, had been the person he’d gotten #Nova with. My eyes moved to her now asleep, and then back to him.

“We don’t always listen to those small voices, and we really should have some faith in them.” However, the fact that his voice was telling him to be here.

“I’m glad both our hearts are saying the same.” Biting my lips, my cheeks flushing.

❁ Collin ❁

I rested my hand on her shoulder, leaning in with a warm smile. “Me too.” I whispered and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

The new warmth spread across my chest and my heart pounded. I touched my forehead to hers, the tip of my nose touching hers. My eye closed and the cooler touch of her skin was like a cold compress on a fever. Soothing... relieving. Grounding.

“It’s so much easier to breath when I’m near. Like I never realized how hard it been... until you walk in and there’s suddenly more air.”

The came easily, and there was no regret, no doubt.

❁ Harper ❁

My eyes closed for the moments his lips touched mine. The sweet tenderness from his kiss sent a flush over my cheek, and my ears tickled.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself touching my lips. Smiling, before my hand found his and I squeezed it. Listening to everything he shared with me. “I know the feeling, however add to it that magnetism you bring with you?” Was it mad for me to share this?

“When you come into a room, there is something about you. There is a pull I feel deep in my chest tugging me to you.” I hide my face. Saying it out loud, hearing myself say it. “Sorry, that’s... I hear how it sounds...” lord help me!

“It’s okay if you want to run now.” I half laughed trying to hide my embarrassment.

❁ Collin ❁

I couldn't help but smile when she pressed her fingers to her lips after I'd kissed her. She wrapped her hand around mine and my insides turned to jelly.

I chuckled softly when she got embarrassed. "I like how it sounds." I drew her a little closer and smiled, tilting her face back up to mine. "And I don't want to run, not at all. I've never been more sure of anything in my life than I am of that.

❁ Harper ❁

My heart skipped a few more beats, as his arm moved to draw me in. The warmth I always felt around him making my cheek blush a deep red when he spoke.

“So much for keeping a little mystery.” My voice had become a whisper, and my eyes moved to take in his smile. My deep brown eyes flicker to find his again. “Let’s be foolish together.” I said more as a reminder to myself. The more I gave him chances to walk away the more he moved closer. ( or pulled me in closer. )

The moment froze for me, all I could see was him again, and the sound of the song from my dreams and my time with him hummed in the air.

❁ Collin ❁

I was as still as I could be, like if I moved off made a sound I would shatter the moment. I dare to move my hand just to stroke her hair. "Oh, trust me, Harper. You still mystify me. But something tells me... You'll never stop doing that."

I chuckled softly and wrapped my arm around her shoulder and held her closet me. Spirits... it was like coming home for the first time after far too long away.

"I'm really starting to like the sound of that." I whispered.

❁ Harper ❁

“Me too...” is all I could reply.

Moving into his side I rested my head on his shoulder. It wasn’t something I ever felt I could do. Just rest my head and close my eyes.

But with him, it felt so natural, no thought had to be given into how he would perceive it. And it occurred to me. I didn’t want to run; I didn’t want to push him away. And that thought in itself should have scared the life out of me. And if I were honest with myself, it did.

However, at the same time there had been a whisper in my mind. Telling me to ‘𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒻𝒶𝒾𝓉𝒽’.

“Thank you for today.” Turning my head, I kissed his cheek, before resting back on his shoulder.

We were sat here on the floor of my bedroom, amongst the memories of my past and for the first time, I wanted to see what the future held in its hands for us.

[your-fave-is-catholic]

Your Fave Is Catholic: Aidan Quinn

Known for: Emmy Award nominated actor of film, television, & stage. He started his career during the 1980s, & since has appeared in over 80 films & other projects. Some notable films on his resume include Reckless, Desperately Seeking Susan, The Mission, Stakeout, Crusoe, The Handmaid’s Tale, Avalon, The Playboys, Benny & Joon, Blink, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Legends of the Fall, Haunted, Looking for Richard, Michael Collins, Practical Magic, Music of the Heart, Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius, Nine Lives, Dark Matter, 32A, Handsome Harry, Jonah Hex, Unknown, Stay, & many more. His television credits include numerous television films, but notable series he’s been in include Third Watch, The Book of Daniel, Canterbury’s Law, Weeds, Prime Suspect, & Elementary (which is probably his biggest role to date). His theater credits include Scheherazade, Fool for Love, Hamlet, A Lie of the Mind, A Streetcar Named Desire, & The Exonerated. Besides acting, he is also an avid philanthropist, & he supports many charities. Such causes he works to help include testicular cancer awareness, children’s media, Irish Americans (he is one himself), & most notably helping those with autism. The last one in particular is especially notable, as his daughter Ava has autism & he wants to give her the best life possible.

Evidence of Faith: According to an article discussing Aidan’s life, his personality, & his film Song for a Raggy Boy, it explains that he grew up in an Irish Catholic household, though he did not exactly have the best relationship with the authority figures he dealt with. He’s especially critical of his father who, despite being a strong Catholic, was a harsh & hypocritical man. One reason he took on the particular film project mentioned before is because he wanted to know he did not approve of some of the uglier & controversial events in recent Catholic history. But all of this said, the article makes is clear that despite certain disapproval, Aidan never abandoned the Catholic faith & still admires what is good of it. They make this point clear with a story: in the 1980s, he was initially cast to play Jesus Christ in Martin Scorsese’s film The Last Temptation of Christ. Sadly, he was ultimately replaced with Willem Dafoe. But when initially preparing for the part, he did lots of research on Jesus, & ultimately concluded that, while many followers might be corrupt, the original Son of God Himself was a wonderful man who was delightful. In his own words: “The more I researched his life, the more I saw him giggling & dancing - the more I saw a man able to drink wine, & be light-hearted. A lot of that stuff's been stripped away, by translators and bishops, to suit their own purposes...  ” It should also be noted that a lot of Aidan’s own film & television projects are also highly religious in subject matter & nature, which is another indicator of his faith. Just look up his full list of projects, & many religious ones can be found easily.