#I want to be worthy of living on the same planet

[a-aexotic]

HEYYYY! So like every other mf on the planet right now I am in my hunger games era!!

Please could you write a Finnick x Reader where she is selected for the quarter quell (Maybe in her games she was lethal and killed like 10+ people?)

And when Katniss shoots the arena in catching fire she gets taken by the capitol (Like Peeta) and they torture her and shit? Then Finnick and her get there reunion she’s all like battered and bruided and it’s dead sad? Not sure if this made sense because i’m half asleep and dyselxic but let me know😭🤣

Maybe he says “It’s okay baby i got you” ??? x

hey of course i can! i hope u enjoy it babe <3 its a tiny bit long! my apologizes

cw's: angst, mentions of killing/dying, typical thg stuff, torture, ptsd, lmk if i missed anything

You were one of the youngest victors alongside Finnick, being only 15 and having won your games. You were also from District 4. You won the 68th Hunger Games, a few years after Finnick.

When you were reaped, Finnick and Mags were your mentors. Finnick came off as self absorbed and arrogant but once you started talking to him, the more you realized that was total bullshit. He wasn't how the Capitol portrayed him, he was much more caring and compassionate. He was very sympathetic to your situation, having gone through the same things.

During your time in the arena, you were one of the most ruthless tributes of all time. In the beginning, you were easily overlooked. The tributes weren't thinking that you were going to be much of a challenge because of your size and the way you carried yourself.

But that was exactly how you wanted to be portrayed. You tricked the Careers into thinking you were some naïve little girl, stabbing them in the back (literally) the first chance you got. The Capitol loved the turn of events, cheering you on.

When you had come back home, you had finally understood the intensity of what you had done. You had killed a whole group of people, ending their lives permanently. Those people had lives and family who loved them, and now they're gone because of you.

You suffered through months and months from never ending nightmares. Even getting consoled by your mother didn't help anymore; she doesn't understand. You didn't even feel worthy of food anymore.

You closed off Mags and Finnick when you had come home, driving yourself into isolation and depression. You rarely went out anymore, eating one meal a day and slept more than 80% of the day. Even sleeping couldn't mend the eternal tiredness you had, the void that filled your body.

Finnick had felt more than responsible for your pain. He gave you time before he realized he was just adding to your pain. Even when you didn't communicate back to him, Finnick visited you every day. He gave you advice and told you what he had went through after the Games as well. Eventually you opened up more to Finnick, and slowly, he had become your best friend.

He had told you that numbing it wasn't going to make it go away. He reminded you that you had him and Mags to help you with this process, and that you weren't alone despite of how you felt.

He helped you regain your sense of purpose again, your self image again. Finnick had singlehandedly helped you rebuilt your sense of self again.

He saw a part of you in him, that scared 14 year old boy who was trying to go back home to his parents. He never wanted anyone to feel that, especially you.

He promised you that he would never let anything bad ever happen to you again.

During your Victor's tour, Snow had suddenly deemed you desirable by the Capitol, wanting to sell you as he did with Finnick. Finnick couldn't risk getting involved, wanting to protect his family.

Every night in the Capitol, you were always consoled by Finnick. Every time you had to do a favor, you remember walking to Finnick's room to sleep, not baring the thought of having to sleep alone in the cold bed. He was always there, holding your hand comfortingly as you both slept.

The Capitol adored you both, nicknaming you the princess and prince of Panem. The more time you spent with Finnick, the more the media had speculated a relationship between the young victors.

You and Finnick had connected in many ways. Both having the same trauma, it was easy to talk to him and for him to understand how hard it was.

You and Finnick eventually got together a few years later, then getting married (in secret, of course) almost right after. You were both deeply in love.

Finnick found solace in the thought of always having you by his side, remembering that no one could tear you apart. That was until the Quarter Quell was announced.

You and Finnick were sitting at the edge of the couch, listening to Caesar's words carefully as he explained that this year's Hunger Games was going to be very different.

When it was announced that there will be only be Victors in this year's games, you heard dropped. You looked over at Finnick and he shared the same terrified look on his face.

--

When Annie's name had been called, you without any second thought, put up your hand. "I volunteer as tribute."

The crowd gasped and you looked over at Annie and you could tell she was a bit relived but still scared nonetheless. You immediately embraced her tightly, letting her let out a small sob. "It's okay, you're okay."

Mags looked just as terrified and you took her hand. When Finnick's name was called, you felt your stomach drop. Not only were you back in the arena, but you were with Finnick.

You looked over at Finnick and he looked prepared to fight. You both stood up and he grabbed your hand, raising it up in union.

The trainride to the Capitol was pretty uneventful. Finnick had wanted some time to think about the plan and so did you. A part of you knew what he was planning; he kill everyone else in the arena and then eventually himself, all for you.

As you sat on the bed, you felt the sadness and anger turn into numbness. No amount of crying was going to stop the Quater Quell and you had to be smart.

You didn't want to survive without Finnick. You were either winning with him or dying with him. Life would be meaningless without him.

Finnick knocked on your door slightly, before walking in. You looked up at him and he gave you a small smile. He took a seat next to and took your hand.

"I have a plan."

"Finnick, I know what you're thinking, and no. You're not killing yourself for me."

Finnick looked defeated. "One of us has to survive, Y/N. For Annie. For Mags."

You look a deep inhale, looking away from Finnick. "I don't want to life without you, everything would lose all it's meaning without you."

Finnick felt his heart burst into two pieces as he squeezed your hand. You felt your eyes watering again and you couldn't help but let out another quiet cry as Finnick pulled your head in, as he embraced you tightly.

"Shh, it's okay. I promise, I won't... I won't leave you."

--

It had all happened so fast, you couldn't even comprehend what had just happened. One moment, you were with Finnick trying to find Johanna and Katniss and suddenly there was big loud boom. You were relieved for a moment; Plutarch's plan had worked. Until you realized how far away you were from the others.

You were wandering, trying to find anyone until you heard people behind you. You turned and then you saw some unfamiliar faces; suddenly, your vision went black.

Then, you woke up in a white room. You felt like your stomach had dropped out of your body once the realization hit you; the Capitol captured you.

You were strapped down to a bed and you couldn't move or shake it off. The severity of the situation had hit you; even if by some miracle you did escape, where would you go? How would you find your way to 13 and back to Finnick?

You knew how ruthless the Capitol was to everyone who disobeyed them. Your worst fears had come true and there was no getting out of here.

You heard the door open and you saw some Peacekeepers come in and then you saw the person you dreaded to see most; Snow. You felt like your whole had come crashing down, how could this nightmare become any worse?

"Hello, Y/N."

You didn't respond, resorting to stare at the wall in front of you instead.

He tutted disappointedly. "Out of all the tributes, you were the one I expected least to be involved in this mess. You are the Princess of Panem... What a shame."

You still hadn't replied and you hadn't dared to look at Snow. Months and months you spent trying to heal the trauma he had caused you, you were sure if you had to look at him now, you would break.

"I want to take mercy on you, dear Y/N. If you tell me everything you know about the rebellion, I will make sure the Peacekeepers are gentle with you."

You shook your head. "No."

He let out a small chuckle. "Sorry, I couldn't hear you. What?"

"No." You said again, louder.

He hummed in disapproval. "Okay then, you leave me no choice. You are going to regret this."

He nodded to the Peacekeepers and walked out of the room. You were then met with Peacekeepers, loosening the straps then taking you to another room.

If Snow knew one thing about you, it was that being only physical with you wouldn't hurt you enough. He had to hit you were it hurt most.

They threw you in the seemingly vacant room and immediately locking it. You were confused until you heard it.

"Y/N, help me!" Finnick's voice screamed. "Please, help me! Get up and do something, they're killing me! Please."

You looked everywhere in the dark room, trying to find the source. It kept going.

"Y/N, please! Help! What the hell are you doing, just sitting there? You are such a disappointment!" The voice started shouting. "We should've just left you to died in the arena! You are useless!"

Now this was something new. Your body was filled with panic and fear and even though you knew it was fake, you felt like you were going to throw up from all the noise.

Suddenly, Annie's voice came in as well. Then Johanna's. Then your mother's. There was nonstop noise filled with screams for help, shouting with disapproving messages. Your body couldn't handle it; it was so overwhelmed with fear that you started shaking on the ground, putting your hands on your ears but that did little to nothing.

You wanted it to stop. It was too much, you were trembling. It felt like days, just sitting there in that room listening to all those demeaning voices of your loved ones. You couldn't even think straight anymore.

It was so bad you had started to pound your head on the ground, screaming and crying. You had have enough. And then, it all stopped. Silence was foreign for you; your ears were ringing.

You were sitting on the ground, almost lifeless as the Peacekeepers took you away. Your eyes hurt from the tears, your body sore, your ears ringing and your head was pounding.

But you knew that was just the beginning.

--

You were asleep in bed and you were awakened by the door opening, you instantly jolted up. You looked over to see a group of masked men in front of you and you had started to tremble again, silent tears rolling down your face, thinking that the Peacekeepers had come again.

"No, no, no." You started to mumble to yourself.

A man came up to your and took your bruised hand slowly, rubbing it gently in silent empathy. That was the first soft touch you'd felt in a few weeks and it almost stung.

"It's okay, you're safe now. You're going to 13 now."

You had to blink a couple times, trying to process what he said. Was this a dream? You went to pinch yourself but it was real life.

He then helped you up but you couldn't help but stumble; your legs were weak, you couldn't remember the last time the Peacekeepers let you walk for this long.

As you got into the hovercraft, you saw Annie. Your eyes widened as you both ran up to each other, embracing each other. She had started to cry a little bit and so did you.

That was when it hit you. You were going to see Finnick. You were going home. You started crying into Annie's shoulder as she held you. "We're safe now, we're safe."

You had seen Johanna as well but she didn't seem too responsive. Neither did Peeta. You fell asleep on Annie's shoulder on the ride back and for the first time, you actually felt yourself drifting off calmly.

--

There were lots of doctors and nurses looking at you and asking you all sorts of questions and you tried your best to answer them. You were still in shock; you were safe. They couldn't hurt you anymore.

"Y/N?" You turned around to see Finnick. You immediately got up from the examiner's table and ran into his arms, your eyes starting to water up again.

"Finnick," you sighed slowly. You pulled away, putting your hands on his face and touched him as if he wasn't real.

"Are you.. Are you really here?"

"Yes, I'm really here." Finnick looked at you and suddenly his voice transported you back into the dark room. You quickly twisted out of his embrace and his expression changed.

His voice was back and you heard all of the nasty things he had to you. You back away, stumbling into the examiner's table and your breathing became heavy. "No, no, no, please-please go away. No."

You slid down to the floor and you closed your eyes, putting your hands on your ears and rocking back and forth trying to get that voice to stop.

Finnick ran up to you and put his hands on your knees, trying to get you to look at him. His heart broke in half; he didn't know what the Capitol had done to you but now he knows it has something to do with him.

Of course the Capitol would try to ruin him. His eyes started to tear up at the sight of you, in so much pain and panic.

You opened your eyes, Finnick in front of you. You started to cry some more before Finnick slowly went up to you, wrapping his arms around you.

When he had started wrapping your arms around you, your instinct was to push him away but his warmth was welcoming and safe and you started to focus on his touch. The voices slowly drifted away, the sounds of your silent sobs only being heard.

You then gave into Finnick's touch, falling into him and putting your head in his chest as he caressed your back gently, shushing you.

"It's okay baby, I got you. You're safe now, they can't hurt you."

[deepmochi]

SYNASTRY: Venus in the houses (7th-12th) part 2

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Note: Honestly, I had a draft for the 2nd part, but probably I deleted by mistake, or tumblr did it (idk). Maybe, That's why I thought I already posted the 2nd part, but I was wrong.

Part 1 🩷

♡ Venus in the 7th house ♡

These couple usually views commitment as all or nothing, are you in or not? They have strong values about true love, and they will follow them. Love is viewed as a contract by their souls or hearts. If they break any aspect proposed, they know it's the end. They can be reflections of themselves either the good or the bad. When the contract is done, it's over. The Venusian sees the house person as a very stable being. They feel safe and prepared for them. These two may live together before the year of knowing each other romantically. The pair just feel ready when it's about commitment. The house natives perceive the Venusian as very "wife/husband" material for them. With this overlay, their personalities blend well and work together. It feels natural for both of you to be close and intimate together. For others is moving too fast, and for them is easy to become intimate with each other. The seventh house person fits well for the planet native. These two feel like it's a soulmate connection, very easy. You’re both drawn to please each other. It's a very strong connection for long-term relationships. It takes time for them to move on if they ever break up. If Venus has bad aspects, it can be a toxic relationship. The reason for this, it's that they prefer to stay together instead of being alone or start something new. Intimate gesture like hugs and someone hand guiding the other. Cooking dates and going out at night the most. "Here, I bought this?";morning texts: " how are you today? My day...." "Can I call you, I miss your voice"; " My mom ask if we can go to her party?" ; "we should go to that restaurant"; Formal clothes; "hey, look me, they don't know how worthy you are". They like to spend time with people they love. Balance. If Venus cooks today, the house will do it tomorrow. Wearing nice clothes and a good perfume to impress the other. Compliments and physical touches, especially kisses in the cheek. Cheesy things like love letters. Having "the song" or the place.

♡ Venus in the 8th house ♡

These two have a different kind of love. The Venusian feels like the house person bring something in them that they can explain. Sometimes, these people have taboos to share. Death has impact their lives. The house person may become obssess with the planet person. Sex isn't a way emerger together. Usually, they possess the same interest in taboo topics. In the beginning, Venus feels attracted to the house, but it's also scared of them. Their sexual energy is intense. The 8th house person wants to know the Venusian's secrets and fears. Both are possessive, but the house win the round. They detest when their partner don't respect them. Their relationship status will remain a secret for the public eye (in the beginning). They would share many things even traumas (if hardly aspected). The house native will protect the Planet from the world. Sex can be very intimate or aggressive (bsdm stuff). These people will not be the same they were when they met. For them, love is intense and transformational. The house feels that the Venus native is trustworthy, but they need to see their actions. Holding hands during intimate times. During sex they will talk and have intense stares. "I don't like that person, be aware of them", "Here, use this for yourself"; "if you need money, just let me know"; "don't lie to me, I know you are sad"; his/her hand on your thing while eyes are on the road; taking notes of your gestures. They have weird hobbies together and enjoy dark humor too. Moonlight sex and long sessions.

♡ Venus in the 9th house♡

These individuals perceive love as a new adventure and try to go with the flow. If they're mature, they prefer to maintain a very healthy relationship. Both prefer to travel and know about new places and cultures. Love is not as other say. They may prefer to do things their way. Venusian isn't instantly involve, but they see the house as interesting. For the house native, the planet is nice an attractive, but they will not force things. The house native could be older than the Venusian. The house person likes the planet manners and life vision the most. They see the commitment as an experience. Sometimes, marriage isn't obligatory requirement. They may enjoy walks, museum, and play board games. One could be from another country or have a different culture. Their relationship presents a new chapter in their lives and their families. Besides, they like to engage in intellectual debates, maybe they are into philosophy. If they broke up, they will try to be professional or move on. They can meet later in life after maturing. It's likely that you will work together or in the same environment. Having a child or more is possible, so use protection. "Look at here, we can travel here"; "aww, baby, you were right they declare that"; ["I really want to buy that book" / "baby, you have that book already"]; Saving for vacations; buying esch other souvenirs or antique objects as gifts; reading books and doing a small debates about it; *knowing each other during trips, universities, conferences, cultural events, and religious activities" Buying new editions of books. Love to try new foods or learn about new places together. They could meet while traveling or in college.

♡ Venus in the 10th house♡

Coworkers to lover vibes. They are comfy with being mature. Similarly to the previous combo, the house partner is the older one or has more experience. This partner also has more dominant energy. They could meet in different levels. The negative aspect is that they could be very nitpicking and too logical when it comes to love. The planet individual sees the house person as straightforward and mature. Partnership is very important is like a contract. If one of the part broke a part of the deal, it's done. They can work together or met during their carrer path (college, conference). They are straightforward and mature when approaching the other. If badly aspect, it could have a power imbalance (not good). Big egos over emotions, this is the start of arguments. They plan their dates. The planet person accepts that the house individual cares for their image and professional life. The Venusian isn't afraid of being a home stayed wife. Here the Venusian knows and appreciates the house efforts to balance their stability. Nonetheless, the house person must value the venusian support. Doing plans after they leave the work; caring for the other in profesional settings; making food or leaving notes in the stuff *you can do it* in their computer. Making each other feel valuable "Here, i make you favorite food"; let's celebrate your new position"; *making time to luch together*; naming the other whenever they can "I'm grateful for my wife meals and support"; giving gifts and showing their s/o in public. Even thought people think they aren't super romantic, they will try to match things. It could be rings, watches or wearing the same brand. Looking good.

♡ Venus in the 11th house♡

Love depicts a friend to lover storyline where both care for dreams and humanity. It's very possible that they met when they were helping other people. The Venusian fits the house' s ideal type. They seem more friendlier than other couples. You wouldn't think they were dating. They prefer to joke around, but they love each other. The Venusian share the dreams the house native have for life. It's also likely that they like each other in the future, even if they met since birth. They prefer to have experience with love before settling down. Its common to see them as "I thought they were friends". The Venusian see the house person as humanitarian and very interesting. Stay protected because big family can be a thing. The must clarify about what is a family for both. The house perceives the planet native as beautiful and too much to some people. Together, they will form a very unique pair and family. Regardless Venusian feel the planet as hopeful person. The eleventh house person sees a future with the venusian because they feel understood. Love for the house is independent, and the venusian can see this as as a relief. Making fun of the other in a non hurtful way. "I can't deal with you right now *kiss them*"; "Alexa play Celine one" *grabs the venusian; *hugs their s/o when they're cooking*; being romantic when they're alone; sending spicy texts "come home, I'm ready"; talking about the future; matching devices or wallpapers; a lot of trust, they share passwords. Having the same or similar friends. They like to help. Donating for other people as a hobby or helping to people who need. Dates in the nature. Cleaning beaches, rivers or places.

♡ Venus in the 12th house♡

Love is simple but blurry. They can't get confused in how they love. The house sees the Venusian see them as the real deal. The planet perceive the house native as too good for them. There are some blurry aspects that they don't understand. When this synastry happens, it can feel too blurry for outsiders. Sometimes, they feel as friends and others as partners. At times, they hide their feelings without realizing or because they don't want to hurt the other. The house may hide their crush for the planet (too well). The Venus feel like the house person hides things for them. The house native don't want to bother the venusian. The house wants to give all they have to the venusian without having a concrete reason (maybe they are friends, but they are their #1 friend). This connection feel very special even divinely guided. The house is very observant with the Venusian Different backgrounds, it's possible that the house person has faith or not. One (usually the venusian) is more intuitive. Venus comes to open the house's eyes to other knowledge. The house will do all they can, so the venusian is happy. They can be soulmates (even non platonic). On the negative side, they don't have good communication because they avoid confronting each other. Both have experience paranormal activity, but only one believes more. The Venus person will try to invite the house to their home (pure opening of their soul). The Venusian can be quite delulu, but the house see it as funny. They met when something is ending for the Venusian. Romantic times, home dates, asking the other about thing carefully, a special vibe around them. *Big smiles and shiny eyes*, "I buy you this; you tell me two months ago around 9pm" "aww thank you", "are you sleeping well?" - "yes" , *astrology or tarot talks* "can you give your birth time?" - "12:34 am" " it was bad?" "No, we match". Talk about paranormal activities like any other topic, special dates, random celebrations, secret spots, discreet dates, spirtual conection, they may understand the other, but can't explain it.

Take what resonates only. 💚

[edandstede]

racist fucks out here acting like ed is doomed to become abusive like his father, like he is a violent monster, as if his arc isn’t about learning that he isn’t a monster at all but just a man. how are you looking at ed accepting himself, overcoming feeling like he’s the literal kraken, that he’s loveable and worthy of compassion and kindness even when he thinks the worst of himself, and drawing the conclusion that he’s an irredeemable thug - which is, by the way, what every fucking villain and antagonist thinks of him. you’re aligning your view of him with the bad guys, y’know, the ones who call him a donkey, low-born, and try goading him into violence over and over again because they think that’s all he’s worth? and yeah that includes izzy, because he did that too, it’s 90% of what he fucking did, treating him like he only deserved to live if he was performing hyper masculinity the entire time and the second he stopped he was worse than dead.

we are supposed to feel sorry for ed. the way he feels is heartbreaking. he was abandoned, had his worst fears confirmed to him by stede leaving and izzy pressing on the wound in the worst possible way, and then he fell completely into depression and suicidal ideation. he thinks it’s all he’s good for. he can’t be loved, he hates himself, he’s just the dick who killed his dad and nobody wants him for him. how can you see this very obvious spelled-out agony in him and say “hey, that guy is gonna abuse the man he loves, he’s an abuser just like his dad” you guys are just absolute bottom of the barrel scumbag dickheads, you really really are. you could not be more blatantly racist. you know damn well the show is not saying what you’re claiming it is.

also, insisting that he would ever hurt stede is just completely ignoring every single fucking thing about him. ed would never. the only fucking time stede is physically hurt by ed is when he wakes up from literal death and headbutts him. that’s it. i think we can all agree he didn’t even know what planet he was on when that occurred, and he petulantly says “good it was supposed to hurt” during a squabble that ends with stede telling ed he loves everything about him. pull the other one if you think this was ever framed as ed seriously wanting to hurt stede and not an incredibly hurt and vulnerable man still acting on a half-dead brain.

like for fuck’s sake this is the same man who hides under stede’s robe and presses his head to stede’s hand when he cries after telling him - the only person he has EVER TOLD - about killing his dad. he tells stede about the plot to kill him, and he cannot do it. he can’t lift a finger to him, he never would. he holds stede’s face with both hands when he kisses him and tells him he loves him. he brings him breakfast with a bit of twine on ‘cause he panicked and thought it needed a flourish. he rubs stede’s cashmere against his cheek. the first thing he says makes his life worth living is warmth. he imagines stede with a big goofy sweet grin and gold sparkly goldfish tail coming to save his life. he just wants to retire and have his inn with the man he loves and not worry about stede ever being in a near-death situation again. he wants stede to be safe with him. at no point are we remotely told in the text that we should be genuinely worried ed will ever, ever physically hurt stede. he protects this man with his WHOLE BODY twice and signs an act of grace to avoid him being shot. he tries to get ned to leave him alone when they’re being tortured. he jumps off the boat with jack to swim back to him and he rows back to the republic to find stede too.

he loves stede, would never hurt him, and you’re all just fucking sour your fav died and you’re saying any old shite as a result. swear to god if i catch one more of you even so much as insinuating ed is abusive i’m gonna start lobbing off toes as well.

[veraoli]

Aspects that show if you’re dating a cheater in astrology

(Remember, not all people with these aspects are cheaters. These are just aspects that are PRONE to cheating if they aren’t self-aware.)

Uranus conjunct venus: A person with this aspect isn’t really comfortable with long-term relationships because they like their independence and freedom. They also get bored easily and can suddenly start liking someone completely different out of the blue because it excites them. They are the type to: “oops” I didn’t mean to kiss them. The impulsive cheaters. But as long as you both keep the spark in this relationship or you are open to letting this person having their freedom and independance, you don’t have to worry.

Neptune square mars: These people can be flirtatious and act like they want you. The truth is they might just be leading you on. They are the type of people to be f*ckin with 5 people at the same time and lying about it if they think you would get hurt by it. People with this aspect are also confused about what they desire and are attracted to. They are the go with the flow type of people and that’s why they can also cheat. Especially when alcohol or drugs are involved. I would suggest only dating them if they show you with actions that they want you because words or s*x isnt really proof that someone loves you.

Lack of saturn aspects to personal planets in the chart: if the person you are dating has no saturn aspects to personal placements (ascendant, venus, moon, mercury, mars, sun) this can create an individual who isnt serious, trust-worthy or reliable. They can lack discipline and might not be able to stay faithful because of this.

Venus in 8H: these people LOVE s*x. That doesn’t mean that they will cheat (this one depends on the aspects). It’s just that they can’t be in a relationship if the s*x is lacking and might go looking elsewhere. So if they suddenly don’t want to have s*x with you, I would be worried if I were you, because…They might have found a new supply😭

Venus square moon: They want a pretty woman/man by their side but once they have it they feel empty. This is because they aren’t connected with their inner emotions and this disconnects them from getting what they actually need. Only liking things for the aesthetic wont make a person happy and thats what they might not really realize. These people might also take you for granted. Sometimes they have an unrealistic view of love and what it truly means. This person can cheat because something is just “missing” from your relationship.

Neptune square venus: they might use love as a form of escapism. They might be dreamy, charming and perfect on the outside but that is because they only tell you what you want to hear. They also really like living in a romantic fantasy story where everything they do is ”for the plot”. Type of people to tell you ”lets get married tomorrow” only to break up with you two weeks later. You can’t trust them because they can’t even trust themselves tbh. I would personally stay away from people with this aspect unless you want to get hurt.

Like for a part 2💜

[katakaluptastrophy]

Thinking about how Harrow was brought up knowing what she cost. That her price was the death of her House. How she had to be a perfect necromancer to prove to her parents that cost was worth it.

And thinking about who she asks for help when she is at her most desperate.

Harrow, who has never belonged to herself.

He reached out for your hands. You could not refuse him, and in any case had no choice of doing so; your body reacted long before your mind did, and the meat of your meat and the flesh of your flesh belonged to God.

Harrow, who only ever experienced love as a response to her worthiness.

Her most vivid memory of her mother was of her hands guiding Harrow’s over an inexpertly rendered portion of skull, her fingers encircling the fat baby bracelets of Harrow’s wrists, tightening this cuff to indicate correct technique.

And how that colours her entire perception of kindness. Of what those who try to love her want.

“I would like to give you something,” said Abigail Pent. This was to Harrowhark. She watched as the capable hands—strong, for a necromancer’s, beautifully formed and with very even nails—took a bit of folded paper from the table. She passed it to her Ninth colleague as though it did not hurt her to give away such precious material.

How John imagines Harrow as his daughter, but can only love her selfishly; her creation a mirror of his own sins.

You’d make a hell of a daughter, Harrowhark. I sometimes indulge in the wish that you’d been mine.

How Abigail, in loco parentis, having exorcised the children that weren't quite her's either so that she could help to keep Harrow safe, wants to comfort her but can't.

Abigail Pent took off her glasses and popped them down into the top fold of her robe. She reached out to touch Harrow’s arm, and Harrow flinched away; she winced a little in sympathetic apology, and removed her hand.

How Harrow is haunted throughout HTN not just by the actual ghost trying to destroy her, but by the memory of her parents, their touch, and by those who for better or for worse want to parent her. Abigail, who loved the children whose planet she was annexing - a fate Harrow viscerally feared. And John, who will show his love for his unexpected daughter by making her an undead construct. However well meaning, Harrow cannot conceive of parental love without possession, without an agenda.

The Emperor set down his tea and finished off his biscuit, and did that terrible thing that he did, on occasion: he reached over to touch your shoulder in that brief, tentative way, the lightest and swiftest of gestures, as though afraid that he might burn you. Your mother had guided your hands over bloating corpses. Your father had held down the corners of great tomes, and his sleeve had brushed your six-year-old-fingers as he showed you how best to turn their pages. Both of them had pressed a rough rope made of coated fibre into your hands—you recalled the pressure from their palms, their attempts to be gentle. When the Emperor touched you, your body recalled, unbidden, each rare and terrible touch committed by your mother and father.

How the one touch Harrow doesn't flinch away from is Ortus, who acknowledges his failure to protect Harrow and wants to make amends.

It was difficult to know what to do with this type of touch. It made her whole soul flinch, but at the same time opened some primeval infant mechanism within her, as though the embrace were a mirror: having someone hold up an image by which you could see yourself, rather than living with an assumption of your face. It was not like the touch of her father or mother. When she had first sat by the tomb in shivering awe, she had fancied that the Body’s ice-ridden fingers had shifted for hers, minutely. Gideon had touched her in truth; Gideon had floundered toward her in the saltwater with that set, unsheathed expression she wore before a fight, her mouth colourless from the cold. Harrow had welcomed her end, but suffered a different death blow altogether—and she had become, for the second time, herself. She untangled from Ortus, more reluctantly than she’d expected.

And now Abigail Pent and Ortus are (probably) dead. Gideon is John's daughter. The Body is Alecto, awake and on the move, meat loving meat.

Desperately hoping that in ATN Harrow and Gideon have an embrace without agenda where they are both simply themselves.

[decolonize-the-left]

What is there left to learn?

All you need to know of any good branch of leftism is that self determination and freedom is above everything.

We stand against so much because so much has been created to get in the way of that.

Money often gets in the way by imposing literal pay walls to basic needs so we oppose it. Racism gets in the way when racist gatekeepers prevent POC from receiving equal care, equal service, and equal access to resources so we oppose it. The same goes for all the other -isms and bigotries such as misogyny and homophobia.

Human beings come in all shapes, sizes, colors, sexualities, and genders. We are beautifully diverse this way, it's literally human nature.

And so we must learn to live and accept people different from ourselves.

Nobody has more rights or humanity than anyone else. Nobody has the right to enforce their own determinations and truths on anyone else. There is no singular way of being that is Right or makes you more deserving than the rest, that gives you the right to control others because it's just such a Good way of living. There never will be.

There is no natural way to determine what a good, deserving human looks like. And that's why leftism supports and hears all oppressed people.

Every single excuse and method that attempts to control/feel superior are all social constructs. Ex:

You're rich, fiscally responsible and think you're better than others? Money isn't natural, it's barely even real. It's something that some human made up one day to feel better than the others. It may as well be called pixie dust. And without it you're just like the rest of us.

Being White didn't mean anything before some human decided they could gain self esteem by reducing the perceived worthiness of Black and Brown ppl. Without made-up ideas of race you're just like the rest of us, made of the same hunger and thirst and love as we are.

Cis and Trans or Gay and straight are just different ways for humans to be born and exist. Some people like their bodies, some don't. Some people kiss the same sex, some dont. You aren't superior for being cis or only kissing one sex. You won't get a trophy for denying the kind of human you are or for making others feel bad about the kind of human they are either.

There is no natural test for superiority in humans because human superiority is unnatural. For any of us.

The only measure of being Better than others was how much better you were at being a community member; how much you contributed to the betterment of your peers. You didn't brag about being white, you bragged about how you killed so many deer that your people certainly will Not be starving.

We were born to share this planet and our only ACTUAL job is to take care of each other and the planet in whatever way we can. It's the only thing we've ever owed each other.

Racism, ableism, colonization, capitalism, white supremacy, genocide, Nazis, Zionists, etc.

These are not concepts that deserve to be kept alive. Anything that makes you hate someone else or makes you feel more Worthy than someone else has no place in the future.

I say all this because I feel like I'm beating a dead horse on this blog so often. I really do try to stay educational and focus on solidarity. But there's only so much that words can do without action.

And words without action are as good as dust in the wind.

I love this blog, but I'm long over this. We need to act. There is a genocide happening and I'm starting to believe that everyone who wants to stop it Already knows about it. They do not need awareness. They don't need voices. They need direction. They need community. They need support and bodies to help intimidate police.

They need us.

And instead I blog on Tumblr trying to rally people that hardly reblog a call to action.

This blog is starting to feel like a symptom of the system. A time-consuming distraction for me. And a way for you to placate yourselves while the world gets worse.

Just following leftists doesn't make you a good person. Having the Right opinions doesn't make you a good person. Even believing in equality doesn't make you a good person if you don't do something about it.

I'm tired of begging for people to organize and protest and show up for each other.

I'm convinced that if you ever had the intention of doing so then you already are. And if you're not then that's a choice you've made.

You either support genocide or you fight it, you know?

I don't know what else there is to learn or say. What are you waiting for? An invitation?

Please go fucking organize and join a protest.

In other news....I am getting closer to deleting this blog every day.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

04/21/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Leslie Jones; Nat Torres; SaveOFMDCrew - Let's Get OFMD an Emmy; Fan Spotlight; Love Notes; Daily Darby/ Tonight's Taika

== Rhys Darby / Cryptid Factor ==

So our fabulous Captain has shared a video of him ghost hunting in a haunted hotel! The only way to access it (as you can see below) is to sign up for the $10 Cryptid Factor Patreon. Link here. It's cute and funny, and you get access to all of the other Cryptid Factor vids and a lot of other cool perks.

== Taika Waititi ==

Another pic of Taika From Sydney Trip for Rita's launch of TypeBea

Img Src: @fuckyeahworldoftaika

== Leslie Jones ==

Leslie spotted out on 4/20!

Img Src: @comedianpinkfoxx IG

== Nat Torres ==

Just a quick couple pics of Nat in hats!

Img Src: Nat Torres IG

== Save OFMD Crew ==

Today SOFMD crew is working on more engagement to get OFMD an Emmy! Artwork by @erostheartist

Feel free to reach out to SOFMD crew on any of the platforms and share your favorite OFMD Season 2 Costumes! Save OFMD Crew Linktr.ee

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

And who could forget the guy who pointed out that Blackbeard was out on a treasure hunt! Annnnd immediately got threatened! Thank you @melvisik for highlighting Enrique Renaldo! He really took one for the team there!

== Colouring Pages ==

More colouring pages from the ever-lovely @patchworkpiratebear! Please click the images below to go to their tumblr pages!

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies. Here we are again-- coming up on Monday. I really hope you all got a chance to get some rest this weekend, a chance to be creative, a chance to heal up a bit for the coming week. Refueling is incredibly important in keeping the ever wonderful you up and running.

Tonight I wanted to get a little sappy and tell you just how amazing you are. Seriously, have you thought lately about just how much went into where are you are today? Millions of years of evolution, thousands of years of civilization for your parents to meet, have you and then so many years of growing, learning, living, and here you are the way you are today. The amount of complex interactions that had to occur to make you are impossible to ever quantify.

You are a unique, beautiful, glorious creature, and when you were born, you had infinite potential for the coming years. You were wonderful, and sweet, and you meant so much to the world around you.

Today, you are both the same, and a different person as you were then. You are different in experience, and growth, but you are still the same beautiful, fantastic, full of potential creature you were the moment you breathed air for the first time. That hasn't changed.

You were worthy of love then, and you're worthy of love now.

You were beautiful then, and you may look different, but you're even more beautiful now.

Your potential was infinite back then, and guess what? It's still infinite. There is so much to do in this life, and you WILL get where you want to be one day (if you're not already there).

You also mean so much to the world around you. The players may have changed, or stayed the same, but you still mean the world to those who love you, whether they say it or not.

You are a tiny shining speck in the grand scheme of time on this planet, and yet, you make such an impact on every other speck you encounter, and just like the millions of years before you, you are instrumental in the backstory of someone yet to come.

You don't have to have kids, to make that kind of an impact (although if you do that's it's own path) even just interacting with others, giving kindness where there wasn't any before can cascade and make a world of difference, which then spreads in it's own infinite direction to the future.

Your life matters. Your love matters. You matter.

Rest well lovelies, sweet dreams.

Img Src: @/TheGoodQuote's IG

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Today's theme is "Out of Context"

Gifs courtesy of @thunderwingdoomslayer and @mermaidstede!

[burnthoneydrops]

Moonlit Confessions

Synopsis: What was once thought to be a fizzled out attempt at marriage might have a second chance

Warnings: implied fem!reader (use of miss and dance cards for regency style traditions)

Word Count: 1523

a/n: here's the part two of this request !! i didn't think it would take this long but i got a random burst of inspiration last night and finished it up today so here it is! i'm learning i really don't know how to do short slow burn but oh well haha. i hope you lot enjoy!!

This night seemed to be repeating itself. Couples twirl themselves like planets orbiting the sun as the small band plays from their spot in the corner. You stand off to the side, huffing as you glance at your empty dance card, your eyes in a narrow glare as you try to find the reason for its current state. Anthony Bridgerton seemed bound and determined to keep the slots on your dance card name free and had yet to name a reason why. Having resigned yourself to moving past your offer of marriage with no meaningful result, you thought throwing yourself into that which your mother had always wanted would help speed up the healing process. Somewhere along this new stage of your martial quest, Anthony had decided that he did not like any of your new prospects at all and made it his mission to see that each and every one of them failed. 

“Miss Y/N, would by chance-” a gentleman had approached you but was stopped in his tracks, glancing quickly at something behind you before it looked like the fear of god had been instilled in him and backing away slowly. 

You quickly turn around, only to come face to face with Anthony, and the dots begin to connect. This was the third gentleman this evening, and who knows how many that brought the grand total for the week up to? Your mother probably did, you wouldn’t doubt that she was counting off to the side. Your blood begins to boil. In the past few weeks since you had proposed a marriage of convenience to the eldest Bridgerton, your season had been absolute hell and he seemed to only be more interested in your life when you tried not to involve him. 

“What is the matter with you?” You scold, moving closer to him to try and keep the conversation between the two of you. 

“The lemonade tastes a little funny tonight-”

“That is not what I meant and you know it”.

“Lord Garrison is not to be interacted with. He is not worthy of anyone’s time, much less yours”. 

You are slightly moved by his words, though your anger blinds you to much else other than the issue at hand. “Is that for the same reason as Lord Andreas then? Or perhaps Lord Henderson? Or maybe even Lord Clark? But heaven forbid I ever know that reason as you seem so hellbent on never enlightening me!” You seethe, gritting your teeth in an effort to keep your volume down. 

“I am simply keeping your best interests in mind,” Lord Bridgerton answers simply, as if it were obvious. 

“I never asked you to do that! I am not Daphne or Eloise! I am not one of your charges and therefore none of your concern and quite frankly,” you sigh, trying to steady your breathing before you get too riled up, “I thought you made your opinions quite clear at the Beauxton’s ball, so I intended to move on but you are making that quite impossible”. 

“We are still friends, Miss Y/N. Believe it or not, that makes me worry about you,” he replies, though there is something in his eyes, almost like he isn’t saying everything. 

“I never intended for you to worry about me! I am simply trying to lighten the burden that I am to my parents by finding a husband and cushioning our lives with a bit more funding, but when you constantly scare off all of the Lords possibly coming my way, you are ensuring my failure”. 

“You would that quickly give up your interests for the sake of the marriage mart?” 

You glare at him as if he has gone insane, which it frankly sounds like he has. 

“Lest you have forgotten, Lord Bridgerton, not every match is created out of love. Some are created out of necessity, which appears to be my only option”. 

“But what if it isn’t? What if there is someone out there who might secure you that love match and allow you to keep your books?” This seems entirely out of character for the man in front of you. 

“Oh the romantic expert now are we? Last I remember, you were rejecting a poor girl because she tripped over your left foot!” 

Anthony scans the room fervently, as if looking for someone before finding nothing. Instead, he mutters “christ” under his breath and grabs your hand, pulling you toward the open door to the balcony. 

“Lord Bridgerton, where are we-” you huff “where are we going?” He does not respond, choosing instead to drag you through the crowd of people, no doubt collecting pairs of eyes as you two pass. Once the two of you are outside, away from the curious ears of the ton, he faces you, his chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. 

“What has gotten into you Anthony?” You look between his eyes, hoping to catch whatever was the reasoning behind this out of character moment. The night air nips at your collar bones and you shiver slightly from the combination of the sudden cold and being locked under Anthony’s gaze. His silence scares you, and he keeps opening his mouth before shutting it a second later. It is quite unusual to catch the Viscount without words and this is surely the worst you’ve seen.  

“I have not been able to look at any man near you for weeks. Do you know how infuriating it is to see someone else chase after the person who has your heart?”

“Where is this coming from?” 

“You asked me what had gotten into me? You have. You have lodged yourself into my brain and into my heart and I cannot get you out of there to save my life. When you offered marriage I assumed it was a joke and realised too late that I was wrong”. 

“Anthony I-”

“You have consumed me, and I know that I made it clear that I would not marry for love, but watching you sacrifice yourself in such a way has been gnawing at me. Please, tell me you won’t do it”. He looks intently at you, begging both verbally and visually. 

“What are you saying?” 

“Tell me you won’t find another man for whom you would have to give up everything just to please your parents. You know damn well I have enough wealth and resources to remedy any worry and would never make you give up anything. If you do not wish to marry me-” “Marry you?” You try to interrupt, to no avail. 

“Then spare me the rejection and you can head back inside, but I know there is a part of you that feels the same. Allow me to make up for the time I’ve lost being an idiot and please,” he bends down onto one knee, “marry me”. 

“Are you quite finished?” 

He looks at you as if you’d grown a second head. It is clearly not the answer he was expecting, though you doubt any man would be expecting anything other than a “yes” to a question like that. You grab his hands, clasping them between your own and holding them between the two of you as he stands up. 

“If we are going to really do this, then I believe we shall do it properly. To prove you are serious about this, my favourite flowers are lilies and I shall be expecting you with a bouquet of them at my front door tomorrow”. 

“I should have known you were not going to make this easy,” Anthony smiles, though the anxiety of your possible rejection is still running through him. 

“You denied the easy way out, so you seem to have left me no choice,” you counter. 

“But is it a yes?” He raises a brow. 

“Eventually, but who are we to deny ourselves a longer honeymoon period? If you truly want to be wed, then we are to do absolutely everything”. Simply because you enjoyed your studies does not mean that you had never wished for romance. You had known that the majority of what the ton had to offer was men who would strip you of your most favourite hobbies for more motherly and homely activities, but now that you had an offer to keep the former on the table, you were going to relish it. 

“Tomorrow it is then,” his smile grows, squeezing your hands. 

“My mother will be so pleased,” you tease. 

“As will mine, though do not go thinking that I got down on one knee for the sake of our mamas”. 

“You mean to tell me you weren’t proposing to get to my mother? She will be positively offended,” you joke with a smile. 

“You are making me regret my decision,” Anthony teases back. 

“You would never,” you chuckle, pulling the two of you so his back is blocking the view of any passersby to try and keep the whispers at bay for a little longer. This moment is yours, and you intend to keep it that way before it inevitably reaches the ears of the curious partygoers.

[here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can]

It’s almost midnight, I have school tomorrow and yet I’m up, thinking about how Johanna Mason had no one to come back to after she was rescued from the Capitol.

Annie had Finnick, Peeta had Katniss, and even though he was hijacked, he had Haymitch and Prim.

And now I’m thinking about how much I’d love to be the one she comes back to. How much I’d love to tell her that she’s still so beautiful, that they can’t take everything from her, how much I adore her and how I always thought she’d look great with short hair.

How much I’d love to be the first to see her so she isn’t the only one sitting in the hospital on her own while Finnick and Annie are having their reunion. I’d have the same moment with her, so sickly sweet that Finnick will later bully her lovingly because she’s so soft with me and only me.

She’d live with me instead of Katniss. I’d help her out when she has nightmares or panic attacks. I’d assure her that she’s so important to me, to everyone and that she’s the most beautiful girl on the planet, that she’s worthy of love, that she deserves the world.

I’d kiss her scars, watch her grow her hair out again and die it for her if she wants me to. A dark red. After the war, she’d move back to District 7, home, and I’d come with her to help her with all the trauma she’s endured.

And eventually, I’d be happy again and so would she.

[yellowocaballero]

In Stars and Time AU: Sif Puts The Star In Starcraft

Wow the ISAT fandom has a lot of cool AUs. That's a lot of fun! What if my extremely good buddy @lazuliquetzal theorized while playing ISAT for the first time that Sif was a fallen star? What then? What if I have unsuccessfully tried to restrain myself from talking about it?

Anyway AU where Sif is a star and also a gamer.

Sif is a hip Gen Z star who doesn't go outside nearly enough and spends all of their time playing videogames watching Earth. Their sibling Loop is always telling them to stop touching grass and to get their head back in the clouds, but they can't help it - they might miss the newest adventures of their favorite humans! Look at them, they're questing! Aren't they so cool? Isabeau just got a rare item drop!

Mirabelle and Isabeau are cool. They're brave, strong, nice, and best friends. Sif loves watching their heroic quest and cool adventures. After a while they even feel like his real friends. Eventually they start making a wish on themself - if they could only join them on their adventure! Get out of my room Loop I don't know what a parasocial relationship is.

Mirabelle is scared. Mirabelle is worrying that she's leading Isabeau on a doomed journey, that their struggle is destined to end in their deaths. She doesn't know if she can do this at all. Why her? Why not somebody more competent, more worthy? In a moment of desperation, she clasps her hands together and makes a desperate wish upon a star from the very bottom of her heart - that her party will be protected. That the Change God will send somebody to help them and keep them safe and save the world. Somebody, anybody, a little more competent than her.

Sif logs on.

Sif is a stroke of luck. Sif is mysterious, cool, and very talented. Sif can protect the whole party with a smirk on their face and a quip on their tongue. They're cool. He cheers you up, he's reliable, they're strong, and they are a treasured member of the party. They're a treasured friend. Things might be hard and scary, but with Sif there everybody breathes a little easier.

Sif loves, loves, loves being a human! The world is so fun and exciting, nothing like the boring and dreary cosmos! They have croissants, trees, friends! Being a human is great. They have an entire life on Earth, one way nicer than in the boring old sky that never changes. Sorry, Loop, they're skipping dinner, they have a World of Warcraft guild raid adventure with Mira today!

Sif has a job to do. Sif's here to grant a wish, and Sif is going to earn his place here. They protect the spirits of their friends by joking and keeping everybody hopeful. No friends get injured on their watch! Even if Sif gets hurt, that's part of the job. Bonnie's just upset about the eye because they don't know it's Sif's job as their friend to protect them. There's no point in feeding them during snacktime, so they'll patrol while you guys relax. Sif can't tell them how lonely they are or how they don't want this adventure to end, that's burdening them. They can't know that Sif's not really their friend, that they're not human, that their only point is their job - that's not protecting them. Get out of my ROOM PLANET, Loop, I'm NOT turning off the game touching space! It's not a game to them, it's their lives. Even if it'll never be Sif's.

But this adventure is drawing to a close. Mirabelle wished upon a star, and a star fell, and the star's about to grant her wish. And the star will have to log off. Even if the star wants to a be human, even if the star wants to be together forever - the game ends. Even if this ending really freaking sucks.

Why does this have to be a JRPG? Why can't it be one of the good games, the games that you can play forever and ever - like a farming/life simulator or an MMORPG or something? Where you do the same chores every day and nothing ever changes, and you're happy and safe in this little town forever? Everybody seperating at the end isn't a happy ending. Sif hates this ending. Sif hates this genre. Sif can't log off. They can't protect their friends if they log off. It's their job to protect their friends. They have to play the game right and create an ending that makes sure everybody is safe and happy and everything's perfect.

The party - Sif's family - reaches the third floor. Sif cracks open his Star AO3 account. Mirabelle unlocks the door and swings it open to find…

What's a coffee shop doing here?

[katapotato55]

my theory as to why doomers exist (and how to break that mentality to be a better writer)

yesterday my sibling texted me "hey can you list me what major historical events you experienced in life for an assignment? " of course I listed the big ones like COVID and other depressing shit I went through in my life but most of the ones i listed were not super depressing. here are some of them: -the rise of steve jobs and the popularity of modern OS -the rise of smartphones -new technology completely changing the world that I thought I would never see in my lifetime, like VR and self driving cars. -massive cultural impacts such as spongebob being created affecting pop culture -the start of facebook and modern social media -pluto being declared not a planet yknow stuff on the top of my head that I thought would be interesting to write about.

then my sibling came home to tell me that most of what I sent was not helpful at all and that they meant "world events" And i asked "how the hell is the invention of the smart phone and the beginning of modern social media not considered "world events" by these standards" they said "idk just not that"

I think what they meant to say was "my teacher only wants the really depressing miserable shit the media thinks is headline worthy"

You know, I think this is why my generation is full of so many doomers. God forbid we have a positive outlook on this world and try and look at the bright side of things. god forbid we try to be optimistic for both the future and our current lives. we seem to have this thin veil of maturity that depressing=mature somehow. That the only way to make anything of nuance is to basically spam "look how shit everything is! look how enlightened I am" like you are Steve cutts.

well you know what ?

I hate art like the stuff steve cutts makes, and I hate this redundant "look how shit the world is" mentality

I plan on making an analysis post later on about Mr. Cutts, but for now let's stay on point this mentality is redundant and helps no one. yes. we do need to be aware of the bad parts of life. But being a pathetic miserable sod and ignoring the upsides is just as immature and childish as an aggressive optimist thinking the world is all sunshine and rainbows. you know why I like undertale so much ? Undertale knows when to be optimistic and has a mature take on a happy ending. Undertale ALLOWS itself to be happy. enough with the rick and morty level of writing where everything sucks and "fuck you in particular for being hopeful" only edgy 14 year olds think being depressing is the same as being mature. Maturity is understanding that there is nuance to everything and understanding that things are what they are. Do you want to be a good writer ? stop overly relying on being a sad doomer. Even the darkest writers in history like Edgar Allen Poe knew how to lighten the fuck up, because you need to understand the positives in life to effectively create dark writing.

thank you for reading this ironically negative rant, I plan to expand more on the subject later on.

EDIT

ngl i was honestly scared this post would open me up to harassment. I was genuinely terrified of attracting the psycho political crowd that treats politics like religious doctrine. first of all, shout out to this person:

I feel like this would be the perfect opportunity to talk about my struggle with depression as an artist and the stereotype behind it. the stereotype is that only the best artists are emotionally tortured people constantly struggling in agony and putting that into their art. now as someone who has been battling depression for 10 years let me tell you: that mentality is a load of horse shit. the greatest artists in history such as Van Gogh were not great artists because they were depressed they were great artists because they had a combination of passion and unique life experience. It just so happens that depression is a unique life experience to go through. being depressed does not make you deep, it just makes you feel empty and possibly sad depending on what flavor of depression you have. all the great stories about depression are not great because its about depression, but because its about the writers personal experiences and the love and hard work that went into making it. if Van gogh got treatment for his mental health issues, he would have still created art. Yes he created art as his job, but he also did it because he loved it and put his personal feelings and passion into his work. the biggest reason why I detest Steve Cutts is because there is no passion nor personal experience in his work. yes he is talented but most of his animations are just regurgitating all the bad things he could think of and nothing personal is going into it. (again I plan on making an analysis post about steve cutts sooner or later) What makes the art of Van Gogh deep and Steve Cutts as deep as a dry puddle is the fact that you can tell who put their own soul and personality into their work. heed my warning new artists and writers depression =/= deep all depression does is cripple you. Seek out life experience to be the best artist you can be.

[animeyanderelover]

Anon: May I please request Eren, Mikasa and Armin with a scientist female s/o who is a scientist and half-human, half-robot from a futuristic, dystopian world where everything has advanced technology? The s/o was sent to other planets to explore and discover new life forms and ended up in a whole other galaxy.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, toxic relationship, possessiveness behavior, obsession, delusional thoughts, manipulation, threats, isolation

Otherworldly Scientist s/o is half-robot

Eren Yeager

👊It's all jumbled in his head. Past, present, future... It has become all the same to him and Eren is barely able to navigate through his own knowledge and perception of the paths. Yet you... Where do you come from? He can not see you there, inside his head you don't exist, have no spot in the timeline. So what exactly are you? Where do you come from? For the first time in years, Eren can not determine the present not the future as you are a mystery, a phenomenon even the Founder Titan can't see in his abilities. An otherworldly being from a place he can't perceive nor predict. Obviously this imposes a threat on his plan as he can't tell what will happen now since your presence has already changed the future he thought was set in stone. Yet despite all the Yeagerists viewing you as a threat to their plan, as a threat to Eren, Eren himself can't help but feel something different. Obviously initially he doesn't trust you as much as you are something that defies the laws of what should be possible, your body partially made of highest technology.

👊You aren't part of the timeline in his head so you become a pillar, a sign that when he is around you, he is in the present as you've not been part of his past nor are you within the future he sees in his head. You defy his abilities and despite all the fear and caution surrounding you, Eren can't help but suddenly feel a sliver of hope. Hope that maybe the future he thought was unavoidable isn't set in stone after all. You possess knowledge and technology far above what this world has to offer and despite his best attempts to push his hope down, he can't help but wonder if you could help him, save him from his own mind and impending death that crawls closer and closer. Around you the future seems to be still changable instead of one big prediction he has to obey like a slave. The future surrounding you is painted in black, unpredictable and for that full of chances and different ways to go about it. There are options. There is freedom because of your existence in his world.

👊Listening to your stories of your own world, the advanced technology and the fall of your own world in chaos and the end of humanity as he knows it are engrossing and his heart aches when he sees the sadness and defeat in your eyes. Eren's world is filled with life and death, natural things that your planet has lost long ago so despite the terror of his world, you are amazed with everything. This world must look like paradise in comparison to your own world and suddenly he has an idea, a change of heart. He begs you to stay here, help him with your knowledge and the technology you brought with you to create a world where everyone can live a better life free of the fear of war and sudden death. You could stay here with him, live a life worthy of living instead of returning to the hell that your own planet has become centuries ago. He wants it, Eren wants a future with you where he can stay with you for his entire life and suddenly the acceptance he thought he had developed for his own death crushes his soul and heart. He's scared, desperate. So stay with him. Help him. Save him from a fate that was forced upon him and that he has been carrying around all by himself for so long.

Mikasa Ackerman

🧣​Imprisoned upon discovery, you are a well-kept secret within Paradise Island as you are an abnormality, something that shouldn't exist. Your body made of flesh, blood and metal and your flying ship with which you ascended from the sky all defy everything they thought they knew. Whether you are a friend or foe has yet to be decided and for now you're kept isolated and imprisoned in the cells. You possess a vast amount of knowledge and inventions far above what Paradise Island has so many try to convince you to work for their course, under them the fraction surrounding Mikasa. They plead for your help to assist them with their task yet your eyes are drawn to Mikasa, the woman who is fairly quiet and often just observes you. Looking at you is sometimes hard for her as your body is human yet also not human, some parts of you modified for scientific purposes as you've told her on a couple of occasions when she came to visit you alone to ask questions she couldn' ask in front of the others.

🧣​It surprises her to discover how much human-like you still are and you catch her within her surprise when asking her if she expected you to merely act like a machine as parts of your body have become one. She never admits that to you but you sense slight guilt as she acts a bit more friendly around you after that. Still cold and quiet but a welcoming presence nevertheless in your life which hasn't been this peaceful and quiet in a long time. When you confess this to Mikasa she can't help but wonder what must be going on in your world to describe hers as tranquil and the mere imagination of what your own planet might be like resorts in a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach, a lump of nervousness and concern for you. You notice an increase in her visits as both of you often just sit in silence with you occasionally telling her a bit about your own world whilst Mikasa just sits there. It's alright though, you know that she's listening to every word you're saying.

🧣​Out of the blue, she promises you one day to make sure to release you from this cell you're locked in, her dark eyes looking at you with an emotion you've never seen anyone expressing in your world before. Infatuation. Suddenly the woman who has been keeping it quiet in regards for you for such a long time suddenly grows active and demands you to be freed. No one knows where this sudden burst of desperation to get you out of that place came from but Mikasa isn't backing down. Hell, she'll break you out of there herself if she has to. The only reason why you haven't done so yourself is because you've come to this galaxy for peaceful purposes and she's boiling with anger on the inside when seeing the Yeagerists coming up with all sorts of excuses why you can't be released. You have more humanity inside of you than all those delusional bastards combined. It's going to be alright, she promises this to you often whilst looking at you through the prison bars separating the both of you. She's going to free you, is going to protect you from anything that tries to label you as a monster and tries to take you away from her.

Armin Arlert

🐚​He's send to talk with you when you first land on Paradise Island, ascended from heaven itself as some people rumor. Armin is polite and friendly yet also observant and careful around you when he meets you for the first time. He has no plans to harm you though as he wants to discuss what your purpose is for coming to Paradise Island. It quickly becomes clear to him that you aren't associated with Marley nor with anyone else on this planet. You confess everything to him rather openly in exchange for him providing you with information on his planet. It's hard to believe at first but after considering it and you showcasing him the mystery that is your own body and some of the inventions you have on your starship, it doesn't look all that ludicrous anymore. You've come from an entirely different galaxy and have just gotten lost on your mission of researching new life on other planets. Instantly the chance if you were to stay and support them becomes clear and Armin gives it his best to convince you to stay here a bit longer.

🐚​You're fine with it. In exchange of letting you research as much as you want, you provide information yourself and actively get involved with leveling their weapons and technology up, fascinated and bewildered with some of the stuff you find there as this would be ancient for you and far too inconvenient on your planet as it has evolved to high technology. You sense Armin's blue eyes on you though, sense his curiosity and so you invite him to join you on your starship as you spend hours in your laboratory, collecting data and examining plants and animals there, even Armin is being made a bit of a test subject but you promise to not hurt him so he carefully agrees as you use machines on him to measure his brain activity and circulatory system. To your delight he isn't only curious but also smart as he memorizes what you tell him and asks you questions of his own which you gladly answer. Soon Armin even decides to lead you to some places outside of your starship as he hears that life and nature have ceased to exist on your planet in favor of technology.

🐚​Astonishment of what you and your planet are capable of gradually fade away to horror as you reveal more and more about yourself and your world. Life doesn't exist, even the concept of emotions has been deemed unnecessary on your planet as only technology and science are what makes the world. It helps him understand why you are so fascinated with the simplest of things in his world and his heart beats faster in his chest when he manages to amaze you with something and sees the childish thrill in your eyes. You can sense it, his accelerated heartbeat, his dilated pupils and the hormones his body is releasing which triggers feelings of euphoria when he as much as lays eyes on you. Armin is in love. With you. You don't tell him for now as that may change his behavior around you, you want to observe for a while longer. You notice his cheeks blushing, how he stumbles over his own words when you're physically too close to him. Yet you also notice how he often talks with you about staying longer, carefully choosing his words to convince you to just stay and never return to your old home and seems awfully anxious when not around you, his body in distress. You wonder if love is supposed to work like this.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Let me be delusional please, my fragile heart needs this. We know that the remnants are part of Sephiroth, Kadaj is hatred and rage, Loz is physical strength and speed, and Yazoo is charisma and his aloof demeanor. But what if there aren't three remnants, there are four of them, but the fourth one is a bit "special".

The fourth is child Sephiroth, S-1, the kid is Sephiroth's innocence and pain.

Obviously, Sephiroth resents this weak, pathetic thing. Just the idea of having to look at S-1 makes him seethe in disdain look at how powerless he used to be, such thing is not worthy of Mother's love so Sephiroth just leaves S-1 in the Lifestream and lets Gaia do the work for him, this Planet and him have one thing in mutual is that they both loath each other, Gaia is too much of a coward to take the risk of letting some part of the Calamity's son roaming in the Lifestream, no matter how weak or harmless it seems to be.

To be fair, he is right about the last part. The Planet first wants to dissolve S-1 and be done with it, however, Aerith doesn't agree with them. At first, she was not sure what to do with S-1, she pitied the child that is for sure, but all in all, the poor child is still part of The enemy of the Planet, and Gaia can be very stubborn when it comes to anything related to the Calamity. But Zack... Gaia, Zack looks devastated when he takes the first look at his old friend, or at least what is left of him. He doesn't try to persuade her to save the child, he knows how unfair it would be for her since it was Sephiroth's blade is the thing that led her to her demise, but she knows how badly Zack wants to save S-1. Zack still feels guilty about what happened in the Nibelheim reactor, despite Aerith's continuous reassurance that is not his fault, he claims that he should have done more, he could have saved thousands of lives, and most importantly, Sephiroth wouldn't have lost his mind.

Saving the child probably would heal the Nibelheim-reactor wound in Zack so for Zack's sake, she negotiates with Gaia.

(Part of her feels sorry for Sephiroth, the man is doomed from the second he was born. He was born broken and never got the chance to save himself. Maybe by saving S-1, the deceased hero maybe can finally find a small bit of peace.)

I struggle at first to think of the name for the fourth one since I don't want to use Sephiroth. But then I remembered that all the pain and suffering of Sephiroth comes from the Jenova Project, what name fits more than S-1? English is not my first language so no matter how I want to write this idea into a fic, I can't lol, best I can do is write some small bit. This idea was actually inspired by an ask from anon to Alto but I forgot which one sorry, I just remember that they said they feel sorry for Sephiroth, and honestly? Same, I wish him to have a happier life in another world because there is no chance for him to have that in FF7 when even death refuses him.

WAIT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? I'M INVESTED 😭

This is such a perfect idea ughhhhhhhh I want to read a version of this where they send him to Cloud and Tifa—after Advent Children—so that they can raise and take care of him. Imagine everything being over and done with, and then a much younger version of Sephiroth shows up at their door.

*screams into the void* I love this so much it's killing me 💗

[yaut-jaknowit]

Gawtin x fem Reader

Immortal reader (similar to dark souls 2) dresses up like ancient Egyptian. Gawtin journeys to this planet to find worthy prey only to find it dead but many alive counters reader killing one of the bosses dies gawtin thinks she was was unworthy only for her to emerge from the gate of fog and fights the boss once again to succeed. They Incounter each by the reader thinking gawtin is a boss. Reader to win in the end Gaston acknowledges her they became companions then soon dating mages (?)

(Ignore this if u don’t wanna do it😻)

Life Comes Back

Paring: Gawtin x GN!Reader

Summary: Day in. Day out. Life. Death. You've experience every death possible. This is a cursed life by the gods. As you've grown accustom to this unfortunate life, you are faced with a new opponent you've never seen before.

Word Count: 4382

Author Note: I didn't know if you wanted me use this ask or the other so I decided to go with the one that's anon just in case. Thank you for responding and clarifying. I was trying my best to decphier what you wanted from me. Thanks for the ask! I'm also working on others and 'The Monarch' at the same time. Bare with me!

P.s. We've hit 1K followers!!! Thank you all for this wonderful achievement. Don't worry, I'll get to working on those smutty Vic'tao and Uihoy drawings!

Masterlist

Ao3

A cycle. An unending cycle. Life. Death. Everything between. You’ve gone through it all, experience more than ever before. You don’t know where you go nor do you remember what happens after your heart stops and the life fades from your eyes. Countless times, you’ve searched out, attempting to find your mangled remains before. Yet, there was nothing to find in the end. Not even the blood that had been spilt. All gone from existence as you reappeared once more.

Countless years ago, you remember the world as lush, green, filled with joyous life. People thrived and celebrated, happy as can be. Well, until Famine hit and ruined all to be.

Cries of despair were all that you remembered as the last sounds of your people made. Temples to the gods were starting to tremble and collapse. The upkeep far too hard for them to sustain as the mighty people of Egypt fell. Though, it wasn’t just them.

Every established colony or country fell like dominos. Just one after another before all that was left was you. The need for food or clean water was no longer desired. It felt as if your body became numb to all once you became alone on this planet you used to all home.

If you believed the loneness and never staying dead was bad, the creatures that crawled from the pits of the Duat. Monstrous, disgusting beings that killed everything in sight. Including others of their kind.

Like you, they where a never-ending cycle of kill and return. Every kill was never about food, not a single bite taken from the caresses. You don’t count when they swallow you whole as consume you for nutrients truly. It was just a way to kill you, not even swiftly either.

Despite the uselessness of it, you learned how to craft weapons from the metal of deserted cities you once lived in. Armor decorated your body and protected the best it could from any acid, fire, or smacking blows the monsters threw at you. Every time you lost, was a time to learn, to adapt further in this new, endless life. To better your weaponry and armor to protect yourself from them.

As this life went on, you wondered if this was some sort of punishment from the gods above. Why you, out everyone that had lived upon this planet, were chosen to suffer? You had no clue or a beginning to understand their reason. This was life that only gave hardships and cruelty in the wake of your existence.

When will be the day you could join all the fallen in the Field of Reeds? A peaceful ending.

The armor that adorned your body was heavy, uncomfortable. Some ends jabbing into your side as you traverse the land. Years on end have helped you study, learned the pattern of these creatures that hunted. Where they migrated, where they hunted at each time of the year or day.

Nights, cliché enough, were the absolute worse. Night is where you had to stay awake, rarely needing sleep anyhow. No wonder why your city believed you to be a goddess walking among their people. Night terrified you.

Day was okay. The light seemed to scare off the majority of the monsters back to the cracks or holes they wormed their way out of. Some didn’t seem affected by the change. Those were the blind ones. No eyes to spot their prey from miles away. Dangerous as they could be for sensing you, a tall structure or caves you or ancient people dug out helped. Anything too small for them to stick their grubby hands into and make you into a corpse. Not that you wouldn’t just reappear back on this planet in a shimmer of glittering sparkles.

As the sun fell, the ground trembled and groaned as it released the most dangerous of the monsters possible. With an exhausted, dead groan, you shimmed your way out of the hole and exposed yourself to the darkening sky.

Glittering sparkles, like the ones you create after you die, began to reveal themselves in the blackening sky. Khonsu’s moon, just a small sliver of the silver sphere. The time when the god is his high of power. You grinned lowly and stretched out your aching muscles. It had been some time since you’ve last been wiped off the planet for a short time.

Every time you were ‘reincarnated’, your body would feel like new, rejuvenated after a gruesome death. The pain that occurred every death was just annoying at this point. Yeah, it hurt. Once again, you have grown numb to this life and the suffering all it brought to you.

Dents and long scratches marred your armor. Your older skin has bright, fresh scars that will be gone the next time you reappear. You pulled on the straps of the gauntlet on your left arm for it to be firm against your skin. One wrong move can have you gone.

As the monsters all over the planet clawed and fought their way to the overworld, you prepared yourself for another night of fighting. The years have molded you to adapt to every situation possible. To every monster known to you and the gods. The quakes the earth bellowed begin to quiet and relax until all was calm. A false sense of security any rookie would fall into.

For your time alive, you believed you have seen everything. Everything humanly and monster-like possible. But the gods were cruel to you.

Either you’ve grown rusty from the lack of deaths these past few weeks, or the feeling in your stomach caught you off guard. An ambush had you trapped in the city you once lived with your family and friends.

Creatures that had big, consuming eyes stared at you. Their gnarly, inhuman arms that doubled the amount of limbs that you had carried their mishappened bodies. This type of monster hunted in packs, rare and unfortunate for you in your state.

The slight change in the air had you rolling forward. Talons, ready to sever you from the land of the living swiped at the spot you once were. You were back on your feet and facing the monster while you unsheathed your sword to defend yourself. A creature you’ve come to call the Nurok circled around you.  A move you knew. The Nurok tried to push you in the direction it just came, towards the others to jump you.

Years of experience aided you. Instead, you bullied it back towards a building on the verge of collapse. The attachment you felt to your decrepit city has long faded away from your heart. You armor protected you from the harsh attacks of the Nurok as you drove it back, back, back. All the way until it’s rump met the unstable wall. Carefully, you crouched down and grabbed the biggest rock you could fit into the palm of your hand. With all of your might, you chucked the stone at a spot that held of the majority of the wall.

Like a dam releasing water, the stone wall fell on top of the Nurok and effectively burying till it died. But, the battle wasn’t won.

Snarls and howls from its pack members were cried into the night as four other Nurok purposely lost their high ground advantage. Your face twice with a battle cry and charged at them, fed up with the beginning of the night.

Your sword, sharp and expertly sharpened whistled in the air. Each step pounded against the pathways that once filled with life and bustling people. People you loved and cared for.

Shin guards protected you in a slide underneath a Nurok and shoved your blade into where you believed to be its heart. The noise it gave would be heard for miles, drawing other monsters to the battle. You had to scramble out of the way before the thing came down upon you. The blade now coated in a sticky, black substance that reeked of rotting death. You’re numb to it.

A Nurok charged at you with its eight spidery legs that were angled at an unsettling way. You barely had time to throw up your sword to deflect it maw of razor sharp teeth and long tusks ready to gorge into you feeble body. Its black tusks clashed into the metal of your blade and pushed. Your muscles strained against its strength. The balls of your shoes slid over the stone pathway, effectively overpowering your human body.

From previous fights, your body screamed from lack of rest and constant work. It pushed you, straight towards what’s left of their pack. As a fight and survivor, you weren’t about to let them win this easily. You release a yell from the pits of your chest and rolled backwards.

It’s full weight was against your sword. At the change of force, the monster barreled over you and into one of its packmate. Both of them smashed into another building. Years of wear and tear with the force of two thunderous creatures brought the stone down upon them. Three down, two more to go.

Back on your feet, you faced off the last two Nurok that have yet to fallen. Sweat stuck to you like a skin second, armor feeling gross hugging to your body. Both uncomfortable feelings were snatched from within and shoved into the depths of your mind. Thoughts like could distract you, catch you off guard and kill you. Not that death was permanent when it came to you.

Your sword was still slick with black blood of the first Nurok. It had ran down the length of the metal coated your hands and hilt. You struggled to hold onto the leather bound hilt as you watched the two Nurok closely. Your chest heaving with deep breaths, beads of sweat falling down your face to pool around the collar of your shirt.

These things had no collective thought between them as they stomped after you. The only truly color you could spot in the low light of Khonsu’s moon was their red, distinctive eyes. Their spider like legs stabbed into the ground as they stole space between you and them.

You didn’t give them chance to attack first. Instead, you rushed them like a barreling bull. Like the goddess your people once thought you as, you dodged to one side only to feel tusks ram into the armor that protected your back. A surprise gasp tore at your throat. You were thrown into the air and crashed back down onto a stone pathway.

All the air that once filled your aching lungs was forced out. The best in the moment you could do was lie on the ground before your instincts snapped alive. You rolled out of the way of a sharpened foot and switched to a short sword. It cut clean through the Nurok’s leg, weakening it.

That wasn’t gone win you this battle though. You were back on your feet, ignoring the way your armor dug into your fleshy body more than usual. Your hands shook with adrenaline as you stared down the creatures. Then, you sprinted at it once more, ready for the battle to be over and done with.

A move that would cost you this life.

Despite the aching muscles in your leg, you leaped up into the air and held the sword far above your head. In a ready to strike position to defeat the second to last Nurok, you had unfortunately left yourself open for an easy attack. A lesson you would learn once you were reincarnated.

In slow motion, you watched as the Nurok reared up with a screech that could cause your ears to bleed. With its two front, shorter limbs, it stabs them through the air and piercing through the weakened armor near your belly. The usual pain that exploded from the unfortunate loss didn’t faze you much. You still fought like a cat backed into a corner, heaving your sword into its neck before everything went completely dark.

.

From her stance on top of a structure ready to collapse from the slightest movement, she observed the fight through the dark. Her mask aided her as she took note of the way this smaller earthling fought. Coordinated but not. As if it was self-taught without a proper teacher to guide them on the way to surviving a harsh, dangerous life.

Why she was here? Like many of her kind: to hunt and gather trophies. Her hunt sisters have spread about the planet to collect what they deemed worthy. She, on the other hand, has stopped to watch this event unfold before her.

The itch of the hunt boiled underneath her thick, scaly hide. A dark green which aided her in the forest but this was a desert. Dry and desolate. That she thought of.

Not this humanoid figure that fought viciously. If only she had gotten to it first. Its skull would be a fine addition to her collection back on her home planet. Now, unable to aid it to survive, all the hidden being could do was watch and wait. Patience was something she was first instructed to learn about. If you could not wait for your prey, you weren’t destined to be a hunter. That’s where younglings were divided.

Once the battle grew to a close, she saw something that would ruin everything. It did the first thing you weren’t supposed to. This solidified that it was self-taught by this last action.

These insect-like creatures took the open chance that this humanoid figure willingly gave. Two red tipped tusks were shoved through the metal of its armor. All it gave was a shortened, airily groan… like it was an inconvenience. With one last blow, the smaller being rammed its blade into the neck of its opponent.

Disappointment filled her chest as it fell limp on the tusks. Dead. A skull she could not retrieve. It was not hers for the taking. Her mandibles clicked against one another.

She began to stand and take her leave when glimmering night that lit up the street captured her attention. Bright, sparkling lights burst from her former prey and fell to the ground. She looked back towards the tusks only to find the armor left. Not a body nor blood.

Uncertainty filtered into her neon green blood. The being tensed up and unsheathed a blade, purple eyes scanning the area around her. Had the creature actually die or somehow have an ability to teleport? Once you’ve explored the universe a few times and seen many, many different aliens, anything was possible. Her mandibles chittered.

In a bright light, noks away from the former winners, a body formed from nowhere. Like a force unlike any other, it reappeared without a scratch and ready for this to end.

D’yeka.

Of all of her years as a hunter, mother, and explorer, Gawtin has never come across something like this. Like a newly blooded, she could only stand in bewilderment as this thing rushed them again. As if it didn’t just come back from the dead like Dhi’ki-de. This got her heart thundering through her ears as she wished for that fight to end so she could start her own.

.

In a birth of glimmering light, you appeared further down the street. In this new body, the old aches and pain were wiped away. All you were left with was the tone muscles you were glad to keep. Everything else, including armor and clothing had been abandoned, stuck to the creature’s face. The Nurok wildly shook its head to get rid of the offending article. All while the other stared at its pack member in confusion.

You used the opening to your advantage. Quiet, calm, you stalked up to them and swiped the first, longer sword from the ground while moving. Before either of them had a chance to notice you, you sheathed the sword in the side of one. The Nurok without the clothing on its face gave a screeching cry, alert its friend to the trouble.

With a grunt, you twisted the blade and shoved it further in to cause as much damage as possible. The thing gave one last croak before falling at your feet, gone like a light. You pulled the blade once more from it and stared down the last Nurok.

Out of all your time upon these grounds, you’ve never seen emotion from any monster. Either it was an illusion or trick of the eye, you believed to see a flash of fear within the blacks of its eyes. A snarl crossed over you face as pounced again for the last time. You struck and left the creature unable to think. One swing after another, cutting at its skin like meat.

The Nurok bellowed out a roar that rumbled the ground before lowering its head. A move you read within a second while the next you twisted out of the way. You shoved your sword once last time into the creature and watched as its guts spilled onto the ground. A heavy smell of death wafting up into the air, one you’re quite use to.

After it fell to its finally resting place, you marched over to its head and retrieved your shorter sword and weapons. The armor was, unfortunately, unusable. You would need to start over… again.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, your senses lighting up to another contender. The adrenaline that still filled your body rushed back in full force as you swiftly scanned the surrounding area. Yet, your search came up empty. Not another, living soul in sight. You couldn’t just shake off the feeling though.

Naked like the day you were born, you lugged your battered weapons to the smithery close by. Something stopped you though.

In a low shimmer of blue light, a humanoid figure revealed itself to the darkness of night. A monster you’ve never seen before. It’s body similar to yours in shape but its face covered by a mask of metal. Expressionless and cold. The main difference you first notice was the dark, possibly green that colored its skin.

Tonight has been dreadful, killed again. Now, with a new opponent stepping into the ring, you were irritated and grouchy. With either sword in your hands, you stared down the monster. And just stared, observed the soft rise and fall of its shoulders.

Then, it took a step forward. You reacted swiftly, like lightning. Your toes dug into the light dirt that coated the stone street as you launched yourself forward. It was your hardened instincts that drove you for survival. After the events today, you were on guard, ready to lash out on the dime at any movement.

That you did.

This thing wasn’t like anything you’ve met before. It raised its aforearm and blocked the downward lash you preformed and kicked out a leg at the same time. For the second time this day, the air was shoved from your lungs as you smashed into a structure behind you. Ringing in your ear began. You dropped down onto the ground in heap of pain and broken bones.

Blowing painfully through your nose, you rose back to your feet and gripped only one sword this time. The other lost during the flight over here. The monster looked like it hadn’t moved an inch from its spot. You huffed an amused chuckle with a smirk gracing your face.

Despite the pain this thing caused you in once kick, you marched back over to it. The creature morphed its stance to a fighting position. You stopped where you were and cocked your head for a moment before doing the same. This thing had intelligence. It was acting different compared to anything you’ve face before.

You felt the unfamiliar, cold, trickling feeling of fear run a path down your spine. The sword you welded trembled slightly, not from the adrenaline this time. Now, you had to think of strategies you hoped it didn’t know of. You had to plan this thoroughly. And survive.

It launched itself at you, faster than you could blink. A gasp tore at your throat as you rolled to the side to dodge the incoming attack. The second afterwards, you threw up the sword and blocked a deadly slash from three pronged weapons in either hands of it. The power behind its force was enough to rival the Nurok’s you just took down.

The ground aided in a sturdy backbone to keep yourself up as this figure attempted to kill you. This was nothing new. Just go through the motions.

And win.

One of your legs kicked out swift into the side of its knee. A harsh hiss sounded from its mask as the creature was forced to kneel down. A new opening revealed to you. One, you took. You lashed out with your blade without remorse. It was able to twist its body enough to only receive a glancing blow on the dark skin of its lower side.

Bright, glowing, green goo dribbled from the freshly opened wound. Your eyes widened at the sight. There wasn’t a single creature from the Duat that has ever bled this color before. What was this thing?!

Its own weapon came for you. Despite the size of it, it didn’t move like any monster you’ve seen before. This creature was better, faster, stronger than what you’re used to. You barely moved enough to only have one of the prongs jab into your side. The pain was nothing but a minor inconvenience. You unsheathed a small dagger in time to ram it into the figure’s arm.

A hiss and rapid clicks is all you got before its hand wrapped around your throat. You were lifted clean off of the ground and held before its eyeless gaze. The grasp tightened before you had a chance to even know what was happening.

This wasn’t the last time you would fail.

Like before, you appeared in a shimmering of bright glitter. Unfortunate for you, your weapons laid at the monsters feet. Deep down, you had a feeling it would not let you even get a chance to grab them. You cracked your neck and fell into a stance to entice the thing to walk away from them on the ground. Anything to let you get your weapons back. To make this a fair fight.

But… it kicked at the sword’s hilt and pushed it towards you. The weapon slid to a stop at your feet. Your eyes darted between the sword and the monster. This was a game you didn’t know how to win or play properly. You had infinite lives to survive but how long will this dance go on?

Time and time again, till Khonsu’s moon was chased away by Ra’s sun, you were killed more times you’ve ever fallen in a week alone. This last round, after you reappeared like any other time, you collapsed to your knees and looked up tiredly at your opponent. You could not die nor win against it. This would be an unending battle like your own life.

The figure walked up to you, feet entering your vision to stop in front of you. Defeated, you raised your tired head to gaze into the void of where its eyes should be. You were ready for it to bring down its own weapon to kill you all over again.

A green hand, a green that matched the jungle you’ve been too, entered your sight. The palm turned upright, its weapon gone. An offering.

After everything you’ve endured during this night alone, you just stared at the hand. A tired, exhausted look in your eyes. The creature curled its fingers in a ‘come here’ motion. Defeated, you placed your hand in its and was yanked to your feet. The blazing warmth of its scaly skin released its hold.

With both of its hands, it reached up to cup the mask it wore. Something you finally noticed in the morning light. That wasn’t it face but just a metal mask that adorn its face.

Two tubes were from the side of its mask, hissing like Nurok. Carefully, it pulled the metal away to reveal… something you weren’t expecting. From all the monsters that roam the overworld during the night, this thing wasn’t the ugliest. The purple of its eyes struck you hard. A color you haven’t seen for years.

You mouthed ‘wow’, attention captured by the beauty this figure held in such small orbs. Out of everything on this planet, this was the first time a monster stopped. Was this a sort of truce?

The longer the two of you stood there, you began to become nervous. This was different than anything you’ve ever experienced. A monster stopping to reveal its true face to you. Was this a horrible dream of peace for just a moment?

Now that it was day, the level of threat has gone down significantly. Yet, the blind, trickier critters now come out to prey upon you and each other. Then you realized, the monster hadn’t gone back down to the Duat. What was this thing? You didn’t know how to feel about this thing in front of you.

Then, it moved its arm. You reacted back jumping back and getting into a defensive position. Your heart thundered in your ears as you watched as it pulled something from a pocket. Calmly, it held out its palm with the item towards you. Timidly, you reached out and swiped it.

A pocket knife. Small, durable, and extremely sharp. You looked back up at the monster and dipped my head in appreciation. With it’s strange face, it lifted its mandibles into a smile and returned the gesture. Then, it turned and began to tapping at the gauntlet on its arm. Strangely enough, some bright and glowing red appeared. You gasped!

Magic!

As if your world couldn’t turn more upside down, something revealed itself hovering in the sky. By the gods! With the graceful leap of a cat, the monster jumped into an opening of this thing. One last look at you and it was gone.

And you thought you had seen it all.

[mandyspeaks]

How is BPD created from a BPD perspective

In my experience BPD is created through fundamental abandonment trauma, particularly with family. I can give an example to show how this functions.

Let’s imagine Betty lives on a planet far away, where it is customary for family members to always shake hands when they see each other. Betty sees other families doing this all the time. She sees her own family members shaking hands with each other. Yet for some reason, none of the family members will shake Betty’s hand. They simply refuse to and ignore her when she tries. Eventually Betty gives up trying.

When you’re a child, you often don’t have enough context for how healthy families work, to know that there’s anything dysfunctional about yours. In this case, the child is more likely to draw the painful conclusion that they are the problem. It’s not the adults for refusing to shake her hand, she must not be worthy of it. She internalizes this shame as a permanent core sense of self when relating to the world. She enters the world through the filter of “I’m not worthy. There is something inherently wrong with me.”

Later in life Betty falls in love and enters a romantic relationship. She finally has someone who will shake her hand upon greeting like she always wanted. Which possibly contradicts her feeling that she is not worthy.

For this reason her ego will hold on to this romantic partner in a way that idolizes them. They’re not just bringing her love, they’re validating her entire sense of selfhood.

One day her partner is in a bad mood and does not shake her hand upon entering their home. For couples that grew up in healthy homes, this would happen from time to time and be forgivable.

For Betty, she is actually reliving her childhood trauma of being denied a handshake. Her partner is not intending to hurt her, and cannot understand the seemingly disproportionate reaction.

Betty’s body is remembering all of the exact same sensations she went through when her own family would refuse to shake her hand. She is actively experiencing a PTSD flashback. On top of that, the experience is validating her core sense of shame and unworthiness.

Someone she once saw as someone totally different from those who betrayed her, is now acting the same way. To Betty, she feels like she cannot escape this pattern, because deep down, she is not worthy of having her hand shook.

Betty is in so much emotional turmoil during this flashback that she says angry and somewhat hurtful things to her partner. Her thoughts are racing and she feels like a hurt child again. In the moment, she feels that she is doing what she can to reveal this deep seated pain to her partner, which is so painful that it comes out laced with anger and betrayal that is not solely from this moment, but decades deep. She isn’t just speaking to her partner in this moment, she is speaking to her family members who neglected and abandoned her.

Betty tells her partner she doesn’t want to speak to them anymore. Betty does not feel she is worthy of having her needs met, so she has to find another way to get them met. By pushing her partner away, part of her hopes that they will “realize” the truth of her pain and validate it. But her partner doesn’t understand why she is having such a strong reaction.

Eventually the PTSD flashback will fade away and for Betty it will feel like she is coming down off of a bad drug mixed with an angry panic attack. and Betty’s rational mind will start to see the situation as it is. For a BPD person an argument can feel like waking up with a bad hangover and seeing you texted your ex, but worse. It’s waking up to reality and seeing you have said things you know are unreasonable and pushed away the one person who showed you love.

The truth of BPD is that to an outsider, our behavior may seem unreasonable and difficult. But to that person, there are many layers of trauma and context that have led to these specific rejections being profoundly painful, especially when coming from someone you love.

[dany-is-my-queen]

Your Heartbeat is a Wonderful Sound

Rhaenyra Targaryen x Fem! Reader

Sorry for any grammar mistake! I love this princess so much. We really do need more content of her

“If you must wed Laenor Valeryon or Jason Lannister, or wish to share your bed with your uncle or that knight of yours. Know that it’s alright, Rhaenyra. I understand.” You finished saying, with ache in your soul. Of course you knew she couldn’t be utterly yours forever. No matter how bad you wanted it. She was the heir to the Iron Throne. She was the princess, a Targaryen. Who were you to set her apart from her destiny anyway?

“You know damn well, lady Baratheon, that you are the only one I crave. The only want I’d take in marriage. The only one I want to be intimate with. My only heart’s desire. Tell me please, how can I prove it to you so all those doubts are erased from your mind?” Rhaenyra entreated. That wasn’t really the question in the table for the Princess’s love was something that was always so present for you. Was cleaner than day itself, more tangible than anything you’ve ever experimented. Still, it lingered. More so because now, King Viserys was urging her to get betrothed to someone worthy of her. All by the Hand’s “advice”, and also cause he wished to see her daughter whole. Little did he know she has already found someone she cared madly about. You, the youngest child of Lord Borros Baratheon. “Y/N.” She tried to gain your attention. You were lost in thought. Really wasting the little time you had together. “Y/N. Please, say something, my love.”

And her term of endearment did it. You melted under her lucid gaze. Staring upon her bright, gentle eyes. The look on them so soft… filled with nothing but adoration, and yet concern for the lack of words from your end.

“I love you, Rhaenyra.” Was all you muttered under your breath. Was all you could express as of now. Truth be told, nothing scared you more than the mere fact of losing her for good to another. For her to finally give the next step with someone other than you. You did fathom the entire situation here. Both your places, your duties. However, you weren’t ready to let her go. Not now, not ever. You meant to play the strong role in front of her. But she was your Queen since the day you made her acquaintance, she was your world.

“And I love you. I’m not leaving you behind, Y/N.” She made an emphasis on your name, she always got it right. “Believe me on this one, will you? I can’t exist without you anymore. There’s no power in the planet that can separate me from you. No magic that can outlast my feelings for you. When we are up in the clouds… together, we become one of the same. When we have our private encounters, I’m reborn over and over again. You are perfect with all the weight of the word, my darling girl. You are the Realm’s delight, not me. I’m the lucky one. If I could, I would ask your hand in marriage to Lord Borros and take you to the Throne Room at once, pledge myself to you and say my vows out loud so the Gods, all the people in King’s Landing and beyond would hear me declare my unfaltering love. I would get atop Syrax and fly to Essos, to the very North too so that everyone would know. This.” The young silver-head took your hand and placed it over her chest, right upon her heart. “This, beats for you alone. This, belongs to you. The love it holds for you is eternal, Y/N. It will never die, will never fade away. You will always live here, inside me. That’s why I’m never afraid of losing you.”

The tears you were trying so hard to keep were bursting dramatically off you. Rolling down your cheeks as Rhaenyra added nothing else and just wrapped you in her warm embrace. You would stay there for as long as you could. Lost in time, lost in her arms, in the unwavering confession she had made. Hoping you would indeed, believer her. For everything that came out of her mouth was legit, genuine. And you hoping, one of these days you two could take her she-dragon and elope together.