#I want to go to a mental asylum willingly. Is it possible?

[19kitsch]

If God give me one booty call 😭 I’ll choose this 🫣

Please forgive me Nico! 🙏🏼

[bellmo15-blog]

Bellmo and the Gotham Lamia

Oh Gotham City, out of all the cities in all the worlds in the universe you are probably the contender for “biggest Hell Hole in all the worlds!” The place is overrun by mentally unstable super criminals, the local mental asylum feels like it barley does anything to help, the cops are about as useless as the customer service at most McDonalds I’ve been two and Batman seems to be the only one who’s actually making a difference here but even he can’t be in two places at once! I mean at least the residents of this city have style but there is no way I’d be living in this city unless I was desperate.

So why did I pay this city a visit recently? Well, because of a certain superhero here. Nightwing. Or rather, the rumours of what he’s become recently. Because I’ve been hearing rumours he’s somehow been turned into a Lamia. I’d say that sounds impossible but considering some of the stuff I’ve seen across my life, it didn’t seem THAT out of the realm of possibilities. So, me being the lamia and naga loving individual I am, decided to willingly pay Gotham City a visit to see this Lamia Nightwing with my own eyes. Did some asking around, had to deal with some of the less tolerable hoodlums and it surprisingly didn’t take long for Nightwing to actually find me because well, when you’ve been exploring other worlds since childhood like I have been your bound to get some fame. Me asking around for him probably helped two. And well, the rumours were true! Nightwing had turned into a Lamia.

And well, let’s just say he somehow was even more handsome in this form than he already was. Something I struggled to keep to myself with how I was kinda blushing hard from the sight of him and his long, long tail. Anyway, I basically told him about the rumors that were spreading and how I had to see them for myself. On top of maybe venting a little about how you would never catch me living in Gotham City of my own volition because even if I didn’t know how to defend myself or regularly carried a tranquilizer and wooden sword with me, I still wouldn’t feel safe here and how no matter what it feels like nothing in this city has changed so far.

And well, Nightwing must have felt a little sorry for me because it didn’t take long for him to have me under his hypnotic spell. His blue hypnotic eyes locked onto mine and his tail coiling me up in a nice and welcoming embrace. Of all the things I expected to get upon coming here, relaxing in the coils of a hypnotic lamia super hero was not one of them. But dam did it feel as good as ever. In fact, Nightwing actually told me during this that he had been using this to subdue some of the worser villains in this city and crime had actually gone down a little. So, agents my better judgement I decided to come to this city every now and then to give Nightwing a hand dealing with some villains and any other from any other worlds that happen to get in. Mainly because of what I’ll be rewarded with each time I do help him. And sometimes bringing my girlfriend with me two because no way am I letting her miss out on this fun! That, and I’m also getting an authentic set of his outfit out of it two which is a bonus!

So yeah, I actually wanted to try something a little different with this description and write it like some sort of journal entry from the point of view of my own sona and their experience going though what’s happening in the pic. I don’t know, I thought it’d be fun to do something like that considering the whole crossover universe I have them exist in. I know it might be a little longer than previous descriptions but if I still don’t have the energy to write full stories with my pics, this is the best I can come up with as an alternative as someone who still wants to expand the lore of my sona.

Anyway, why did I get this pic? Several reasons actually. One, because of a previous pic Hypno-Scream has done involving a Lamia Nightwing design. A pic I really, really liked let’s just say. Second, I’ve been getting though the 90’s Batman Animated Series and only just recently made it to Season 4, which is where Dick Grason is re-introduced as Nightwing. 3, I just needed more stuff like this involving my sona with male characters. Especially considering I’ve been more open about being bi lately. Fourth, I just think Nightwing in general is just really appealing to me which probably isn’t that surprising coming from me of all people considering his normal fashion choice heh. Fitfth, it’s the Year of the Snake so how could I NOT get this? XD

Artist is Hypno-Scream.

[evilmortys]

okay,  so,  here  are  my  thoughts  on  the  finale,

i’m  gonna  start  with  the  things  i  didn’t  like,  just  because  of  who  i  am  as  a  person!  my  feelings  are  mixed,  but...  looks  lovingly  at  evil  morty.  he  truly  was  the  only  exception  as  usual  ♥

i’m  not  going  to  lie,  this  whole  thing  felt.  rushed.  although  some  of  rick’s  meta  commentary  about  not  touching  citadel  shit  because  it  was  canon  and  he  and  morty  were  supposed  to  be  going  back  to  lighthearted  one  off  adventures,  and  “the  second  he  reveals  that  he’s  evil,  we’re  out”  made  me  laugh,  it  also  felt  very  disingenuous  and  ham-fisted.  having  him  do  all  these  fourth  wall  breaks  honestly  took  away  from  the  impact  of  what  this  episode  could  have  been,  but  whatever.  

i  just  got  the  vibe  that  they  wanted  everyone  to  stfu  about  the  citadel  and  evil  morty,  so  they  quickly  stuck  together  this  episode  that  dealt  with  fans’  demand  in  one  fell  swoop  so  they  could  move  on  from  the  existence  of  both  plotlines.  i  honestly  thought  it  was  a  bit  wasteful  since  tales  from  the  citadel  resonated  with  a  lot  of  fans  and  it  was  an  interesting  bit  of  worldbuilding  with  compelling  narratives  going  on.

you  already  all  likely  know  how  irritated  i  am  with  morty’s  character  degrading  so  much  once  again.  this  entire  season  has  been  building  him  up  to  becoming  so  much  more  capable,  only  to  wrench  it  away  from  him  again  by  instead  having  his  co-dependency  with  rick  ramped  up  to  the  point  it  was  literally  out  of  character.  this  has  come  out  of  nowhere.  at  no  point  in  the  show’s  entire  run  has  morty  ever  been  this  needy  with  rick.  

again,  i  feel  like  this  may  have  been  written  around  what  eventually  ended  up  happening  at  the  citadel,  with  the  revelation  that  mortys  are  ‘bred  for  forgiveness.’  it  would  have  been  far  more  compelling  for  our  morty  to  have  continued  to  go  down  the  path  of  being  decidedly  unforgiving  of  rick’s  bullshit,  thereby  making  him  deviate  from  the  norm  in  a  similar  way  to  evil  morty  himself  and  implicating  that  the  cycle  of  a  morty  going  to  these  extremes  is  going  to  be  repeated  once  again.

rick  did  not  deserve  or  earn  voicing  the  recognition  that  his  dynamic  with  morty  was  toxic,  and  abusive.  are  you  fucking  kidding  me?  the  smartest  man  in  the  universe  only  JUST  clocked  onto  that?  bullshit!  he’s  known  all  along,  and  he’s  been  using  it  for  his  own  gain!  he  doesn’t  get  to  just  say  it  with  that  regretful  voice  as  if  he’s  been  clueless  /  oblivious  to  it  this  entire  time.  they  just  wanted  the  audience  to  feel  sympathetic  for  him  by  throwing  in  this  tidbit  and  a  tragic  backstory,  as  if  that  even  sort  of  makes  up  for  everything  he’s  put  his  family  through.  

abandoning  the  people  you’ve  hurt  is  ALSO  abusive  and  toxic  behaviour!  he’s  done  it  time  and  time  again!  how  is  acknowledging  the  fact  that  you  hurt  people,  that  you  hurt  your  family,  the  people  that  love  you  despite  the  fact  you  objectively  don’t  deserve  it,  then  ditching  them  once  again  instead  of  staying  with  them  and  improving  as  a  person  and  helping  everyone  heal  from  what  you’ve  put  them  through,  ANY  BETTER??  he  never  changes!!

i  also  couldn’t  really  process  the  fact  that  rick  just  handed  morty  his  portal  gun  like  it  was  nothing--  i  feel  like  him  topping  it  off  and  using  it  behind  rick’s  back  should  have  been  a  bigger  deal  than  what  it  was.  also,  morty  would  not  break  a  guy  out  of  a  mental  asylum  without  a  second  thought.  he  simply  wouldn’t  do  that.

we’ve  fallen  right  back  into  the  status  quo  of  morty  being  stupid  and  rick  being  the  smartest  one  in  the  room  who  always  knows  what’s  going  on,  even  when  he  actually  shouldn’t  for  the  sake  of  a  few  meta  jokes.  which  is  more  annoying  than  i  can  put  into  words  tbqh

obviously  i  hated  all  the  parallels  they  were  attempting  to  make  between  rick  and  morty  having  a  romantic  relationship  and  “breaking  up.”  never  has  morty  behaved  so  uncharacteristically  in  any  other  episode  of  the  show.  it  honestly  felt  disrespectful  to  all  the  growth  he’s  had  as  a  character  to  reduce  him  to  something  so  pathetic.

i  guess  this  is  less  of  a  thing  i  disliked,  and  more  of  a  commentary  on  rick’s  character?  but  once  again,  his  hypocrisy  really  leapt  out  at  me  once  it  was  revealed  that  he  always  has  a  hand  in  bringing  together  beths  and  jerrys  in  order  to  ensure  that  more  mortys  will  end  up  in  the  multiverse.  i  find  it  unbelievably  sad  that  he’ll  willingly  ensnare  the  two  of  them  in  the  throes  of  a  relationship  that  he  knows  is  likely  to  become  toxic  and  cause  the  both  of  them  to  be  miserable  throughout  their  time  together;  they’re  rarely  happy  /  compatible  together  and  always  end  up  sticking  it  out  for  the  kids.  it  also  makes  his  constant  shitting  on  jerry  even  more  egregious  and  almost  serves  to  call  his  love  for  his  daughter  into  question  for  me.  he’s  using  her  as  a  means  to  his  own  ends  by  manipulating  situations  so  she’ll  meet  jerry  and  they’ll  likely  end  up  together.  

don’t  get  me  wrong,  i  actually  really  loved  the  fact  he  had  a  hand  in  founding  the  citadel  he  now  loathes  so  much,  and  i  think  the  constant  creation  of  mortys  as  grandsons  ‘bred  to  forgive’  ricks  is  so  fucked  up  and  awful  in  the  most  intriguing  way.  it’s  akin  to  him  fiddling  with  the  concept  of  keeping  mortys  in  constant  pain  to  cloak  his  comings  and  goings  around  the  multiverse  (on  paper,  morty,  on  paper!),  except  this  time  he  did  it  in  reality.

evil  morty.  oh  my  god,  evil  morty.  my  saving  grace.  my  ray  of  light.  i’m  so,  so,  so  pleased  with  the  way  he  was  handled.  while  i  admit  i  was  looking  forward  to  more  of  a  slow - burn  thing,  getting  a  bit  of  insight  into  his  presidency  and  possibly  exploring  a  dynamic  with  him  and  c-137  (we’ll  get  to  that)...  i  honestly  still  really  loved  what  ended  up  happening  with  him,  even  though  i  still  believe  on  some  level  that  they  just  wanted  to  tie  up  his  narrative  thread  so  fans  wouldn’t  remain  fixated  on  him.

of  course  he  did.  of  course  that  motherfucker  rick  created  a  boundary  within  the  infinite  multiverse  that  ensured  he’d  always  be  the  smartest  man  within  it  as  far  as  mortys  and  other  people  in  his  life  were  concerned.  i’ve  always  found  it  odd  that  such  universes  were  never  brought  up  even  in  passing;  the  nature  of  infinite  possibilities  always  dictated  that  someone  smarter  than  him  must  exist  out  there,  and  that  worlds  existed  where  he  was  nobody  special.

him  being  morally  gray.  i  could  cry.  i  was  clinging  on  to  the  hope  that  it  would  be  shown  he  hates  ricks  more  than  he  looks  down  on  mortys,  and  it  absolutely  was.  while  he  was  okay  with  killing  and  hurting  mortys  to  achieve  his  own  “selfish”  ends,  it’s  clear  that  he’s  unhappy  with  the  cycle  of  abuse  from  their  infinite  grandfathers  that  pushes  him  to  these  extremes,  loathes  the  concept  that  mortys  are  not  supposed  to  defy  their  ricks.  “if  you’ve  ever  been  sick  of  him,  you’ve  been  evil  morty  too.”  he  hates  ricks  FAR  more  than  he  does  mortys,  and  you  can  pry  that  from  my  cold,  dead  hands.  he  believes  mortys  are  beyond  help  because  of  the  way  they  stick  by  rick--  the  fact  they’re  literally  created  with  being  yes-men  for  rick  in  mind.

he  didn’t  seek  to  make  changes  for  the  greater  good  of  other  mortys  within  the  citadel.  i  think  he  understood  on  some  level,  it  was  impossible.  i  think  he  has  this  belief  that  other  mortys  are  part  of  the  problem,  because  they  perpetuate  the  cyclic  dynamic  of  toxicity  and  harm--  they  don’t  move  to  break  free  from  it  the  way  he  does,  and  so  he  feels  no  guilt  leaving  them  behind  while  he  breaks  into  the  aspect  of  the  multiverse  where  rick  has  no  power.  it’s  honestly  heartbreaking  that  he’s  come  to  have  a  mindset  like  that.  

i  think  seeing  c-137  reach  out  to  help  rick  up  once  again  instead  of  accepting  what  i  hope  and  pray  was  a  semi - genuine  offer  to  join  him  as  he  departed  was  just  yet  another  instance  of  him  witnessing  a  morty  doing  the  most  to  save  the  man  who  makes  their  lives  a  living  hell.  if  he  was  truly  unsympathetic,  he’d  have  made  no  such  offer.  if  he  thinks  a  morty  is  capable  of  pulling  away  from  the  hold  ricks  have  on  them,  he  wants  them  out  of  this  shit  just  as  much  as  he  himself  wants  to  break  free  from  it.  i  think  he  has  the  mindset  that  i  know  they  tried  to  play  it  off  with  “haha  the  other  seat’s  a  toilet,”  but  i  don’t  think  that  was  the  case  and  they  were  once  again  just  undermining  the  moment  for  no  good  reason.  SCREAMS!!  don’t  get  me  wrong  what  he  did  WAS  selfish  and  evil.  but  in  a  way  you  can  understand  where  it  derives  from

again,  it  REALLY  irritates  me  they’ve  undone  so  much  of  morty’s  character  just  to  ensure  he  wouldn’t  end  up  taking  evil  morty  up  on  his  proposition.  if  morty  had  retained  even  a  tenth  of  the  character  growth  he’s  been  having  from  late  season  four  until  towards  the  end  of  season  five,  wherein  it  began  to  unravel,  he’d  have  left  rick.  undeniably.

the  yellow  portal.  oh  my  god............

it  made  me  so  fucking  emotional  to  see  that.  he’s  won.  he’s  free.  

[justanotherthrowaway1950]

Why Do People Think Zuko Wants to Help Azula? Or That It Is His Responsibility to Do So?

Note: This is where Gene Yang heavily implied that Azula’s mental state in the comic is due to her “treatment” in the asylum.

Note: This is Aaron Ehasz’s tweet chain detailing a hypothetical Season 4 Azula redemption arc.

Note: This is Bryke disconfirming there was ever going to be a Season 4 of ATLA.

Note: This image contains Iroh’s canon views in regards to Azula and her upbringing.

I understand that people like the idea of Zuko helping Azula heal and redeem herself, not only fully breaking the cycle of abuse, but also becoming a better man than Iroh, who canonically never really cared for Azula and blames her for her abuse. Especially after Aaron Ehasz tweeted about his plan to redeem Azula through Zuko if ATLA ever got a Season 4, WHICH WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN PER BRYKE’s WORDS.

But the idea that Zuko would help Azula heal and redeem herself is literally not supported by canon.

For he left Azula in an abusive institution for at least a year without giving a damn, which was well within his rights after everything she did to him, and was content with leaving her there until he realized the shitty state of his nuclear family badly reflected him on, and that he needed Azula to extract intel from Ozai about Ursa’s possible location before putting her under house arrest with 24/7 surveillance in an effort to send a message to his subjects and the world.

And that the only reason why Azula was eventually able to travel free and unbound with dignity was because she managed to blackmail Zuko with Ursa’s possible location.

Moreover, deep down, when you push back against Zuko’s facade of wanting to “help” Azula, you find someone who blames her for making his life hell from the moment she was born, like his primary abusers weren’t Ozai and Azulon, and thinks she does evil for the sake of evil.

For when Zuko finds out Azula is tied to the Fake Kemurikage kidnappings, he doesn’t react with sadness like Ty Lee, or shock and disbelief like Mai, two people who, despite rightfully fearing and loathing Azula, did know her best outside of her family.

No…when asked why Azula would be a part of such a vile enterprise for no apparent reason, Zuko basically shrugs and says that it is Azula, and so there is no need to understand why she is doing it.

So why would someone who blames Azula for all the misfortune in his life and is quick to assume the worse out of her want to willingly help her?

And before anyone brings up the climax of The Search, just think about it for a moment from Azula’s POV?

She just tried killing Zuko’s beloved mommy their mother in front of Zuko after a tumultuous trip in which Zuko and his friends found out that she was planning to overthrow Zuko using the “Zuko is a bastard” letter and only let her keep it because they still needed her to find Ursa.

Moreover, Zuko has already made it clear that he blames her for making his life hard in addition to her belief that Zuko locked up her in the abusive institution to break her, when in reality Zuko is so absent minded he never bothered to check the conditions there, not that Zuko's intentions in sending Azula to asylum makes her "treatment" there any better.

So when Azula hears Zuko say he wants to help her, why would Azula believe that Zuko would do anything other than have Aang de-bend her for good before throwing her in a prison cell next to Ozai for life, or worse, back into the asylum?

But moving on, even if one were to disregard the comics, it is pretty clear that Zuko is clearly not the person to help Azula.

For he compares Azula to Aang in terms of how easy bending comes to her, when it is obvious from Azula’s training scene with Lo and Li that she had to work almost as hard (key word almost) as Zuko in order to manifest her natural talent.

Zuko, in order to not face the reality that his grandfather and father are abusive bastards with no love for him, comes up with the mantra of, “Azula always lies,” even though it is clear that she isn’t always lying. For example, when she tells Zuko in his room that Ozai is really going to fulfill Azulon’s order to kill him, or that Ozai views the beginning of Book 2 Zuko as a miserable failure, and so he wants to lock up him up so he can stop “embarrassing” him.

Or when Azula tries opening up to the rest of The Dangerous Ladies and Zuko about how she views herself as a monster, and how Ursa was right to view her as one, Zuko stays silent due to a combination of resentment, fear, and believing Azula that is just lying to gain brownie points with the rest of group after they revealed their various long-standing traumas, despite Azula, along with Mai and Ty Lee, helping him deal with his own issues.

Or how about when Azula is apparently falling to her death during the start of The Southern Raiders, for Zuko initially appears worried that she will die, but the moment she is able to launch herself to the cliffside, he acts annoyed that she even survived.

But the crown jewel that shows TV!Zuko’s care, or lack thereof, for TV!Azula is when Zuko asks Katara to help put Azula in her place when he asks Katara to help him take down Azula so he can take the throne.

For there is no hesitation or any reflection that the reason why he has to outright kill Azula is because he had the right circumstances to overcome their indoctrination and abuse while she never had anyone to help her do the same, and thus has to be put down for the sake of the world.

And yes, Zuko was clearly intending to kill Azula considering he was going to redirect her lightning to win the final Agni Kai until Katara foolishly stepped into the arena, giving Azula a chance take advantage of Zuko’s protectiveness to hit him with lightning without Zuko being able to properly redirect it.

But before anyone accuses of me of twisting Zuko’s behavior and actions to make him seem like a jackass or woobify Azula, there is a reason why I did so other than to show that Zuko doesn’t want to help Azula: to show that not only is he ill-equipped to help her, but also that it is not responsibility to do so.

For what Azula needs, other than medical treatment to help her deal with her, in my opinion, canon schizo-??? disorder (she has severe audiovisual delusions and hallucinations for at least a year straight and her master plan in Smoke and Shadow comes about due to giving into her delusions), is a parental figure who can teach her that love is not conditional while also showing her unconditional love and that fear is for fools, trust is the only reliable way.

For once she learns how to be a functional person and heals, she will be able to start atoning for all her various evil acts and eventually become a healthy, productive member of society.

Which ties back into why it is not Zuko’s responsibility to help her; for in addition to being a teenager who is still trying to overcome his abuse, on top of having reform a superpower after a hundred years of indoctrination while reintegrating it into the world community, Zuko is one of Azula’s principal victims!

For Azula was Zuko’s secondary abuser, abused Mai and Ty Lee, and tried killing or jailing Zuko and/or his loved ones several times (and succeeded several times).

In fact, a key part of Azula's hypothetical atonement is her apologizing to Zuko for her behavior towards him and the people he cares about while also making it clear that she is not entitled to be part of his life, or part his government, and thus wield (real) power again.

Not to mention showing through repeated actions that her words are not just another attempt at manipulation for her own benefit.

But now that I have made it clear that Zuko doesn’t want to help Azula heal, nor is it his responsibility to do so, I am sure people are going to ask who can serve as that parental figure who can help Azula heal?

Well, there are a lot of options: Iroh, if you are part of the group of people who ignore the comics and extended lore; post-comics Ursa, who has already indicated a desire to make up for her parenting mistakes in regards to Azula; an actual medical professional once Zuko realizes the bad state of the asylums and reforms them; or even some random adults who decide to help an obviously broken person desperately seeking guidance in AUs that don’t take into account the comics.

For this is an aside, but it seems pretty clear to me that post-Smoke and Shadow Azula, who is most likely a legal adult, will most likely never find support, even among civilians, due to her crimes and status as the most wanted war criminal fugitive alive.

But getting back to the main point, I don’t get the idea why people think Zuko would want to help Azula, at least in an earnest fashion where Azula is given the time, space, and ability to make mistakes just like Zuko did during his redemption arc? Or why is it his responsibility to help her, when he himself has a lot to figure out about himself and is one of Azula’s victims?

Not when there are a lot of potential adult figures who can help Azula heal from Ozai’s abuse.

Also, it would be nice for one of the remaining Royal Family adult members to try and actually make up for doing absolutely nothing to counter Ozai’s grooming like they did with Zuko, but this post is neither the time nor place for that discussion.

[anarchy-n-glitter]

Nothing to Fear

Summary:

Lake County, Colorado

2011

JJ's been located in the asylum. Dr. Crane steps deeper into the monster's den.

(Warnings: Gore, implied torture, referenced self harm)

MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

CHAPTER 6

She wanted to cry. She saw him, sitting alone in a cell and she was sure he was unaware of their watching eyes. Trager stood next to her, his hand on her hip to keep her close. This whole situation, she had determined, was a way to show his power over her. She wouldn’t let him do this to her, though, nor would she allow him to do this to the people she loved. By the end of tomorrow night, he’ll be the one sitting in that cell.

J.J. was staring at the wall blankly, facing them, and she could see the horrible, bloody wounds around his mouth. She was reminded of what Trager said to her when they made that deal, how J.J. was admitted due to a “meltdown,” and she assumed he ended up hurting himself. She glanced at Trager from the corner of her eye. She didn’t trust him one bit, and for some strange reason she had no doubt that he had something to do with this. She had never seen J.J. so lifeless, even when he was in Arkham he was lively and trying his best. Here he looked like he was comatose. His vivid green eyes that were usually bright and full of life were dull and stared blankly at the wall, and she knew someone had hurt him.

“I want him transferred to Arkham back in Gotham.” She stated, loud enough and forcefully enough for Trager to understand that she was going to get what she wanted, whether he did it or she did.

“His doctor’s there and she can help. We can’t treat him here and you know it.” She continued. His grip on her tightened and he seemed to bring her closer to him. He was silent, thinking probably. She could see his face in the reflection and he seemed less than pleased. She knew he could see her too, but that didn’t stop her. Suddenly, a smirk broke out on his face.

“Come to my place after dinner tomorrow and you got yourself a deal.” He offered, and Dr. Crane felt her heart speed up. She knew she was in dangerous territory, and now she had to negotiate her way out of it. After Michelle’s story, there was no way she’d go back to his house.

“Make it my apartment.” She stated, and she watched his eyes widen. He arched an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by her boldness.

“Oh? What’s wrong with my place?” He asked, though she was sure he’d be fine with going to her apartment instead. Either way, he thought he was getting laid, it didn’t matter the setting.

“It’s up to you, really. I’d just rather we go to my apartment.” She explained. She made sure she kept her face blank, or even made it seem like she was mildly interested in the conversation.

“Alright, fine. Your place it is.” He finally agreed. Mentally, she felt herself decompress. If he continued to be so stubborn she had no choice but to reveal what she knew, yet, she didn’t want to do that. The information revealed to her was integral and she knew she couldn’t show all of her cards at once. If she was going to show that she was truly in control, then she would have to wait. She would have to wait until he was at her mercy, begging to be released from whatever bind he was in. Hell, maybe she’d make him fall in love with her - if that was even possible - and then she’d reveal the truth. The whole truth. That she could never love a man like him, and (hopefully) he’d be locked away for what he did.

“I’ll tell Blaire about the transfer request, I’ll say it came from that new girl… your assistant, what was her name again? It’s something that starts with a D, right?” Trager asked, though she felt like he was stalling. Other than how that was obviously a bad idea, she disagreed because she feared him targeting Dr. Dawes after her. She wouldn’t be shocked, after all, she was younger than her, and shorter, and she had blonde hair and bright green eyes. She was stunning, and the creep that currently held Cat like a lover would have to have noticed her. There was no doubt he would go after her. Not only that, but she was young and impressionable, she was new too, which would give him even more power over her than he ever held with Michelle and Cat.

“Dr. Dawes? No, she’s too close to me. They’d suspect I put in the request the moment they confront her. Just skip the middleman and say I did it, after all, I knew his doctor, I know who can treat him.” She stated calmly, and she could have sworn she saw him thinking, saw him putting the pieces together, and it made her sick.

“Alright, whatever you say Cat.” She remained calm, her face stoic.

2

He pushed a few molars around in the palm of his hand, completely fascinated by how the light reflected off of the bright, white teeth. He had cleaned them off to the best of his abilities, though he was sure his buyers wouldn’t mind. They were more than capable of removing any evidence that someone could trace back to him and Mount Massive, though maybe that’s what they’d want. In order for that to happen though, they had to be caught, and they wouldn’t want that.

He was getting a pretty penny for ol’ Jack Jr.’s teeth, and the less Cat Crane knew about that, the better. As it turned out, J.J. showing up that day was a godsend. He had a history of mental illness, though his files said nothing about self harm he knew from his experience working in the asylum that a mental breakdown could trigger an extreme reaction like that. J.J. was the perfect person to do that to, and he served a few other purposes. He needed teeth for his buyers, and he needed Cat’s attention, something he could hold over her for a little bit until she was desperate. He succeeded in that.

For some strange reason, he felt like she was someone who could understand him. He thought this the moment he laid eyes on her, and he wasn’t entirely sure why. He enjoyed the little game they played, where she acted like she despised him when he knew that deep down, she was as fascinated by him as he was with her. Yes, he did hope things would go his way tomorrow night, and he would absolutely love to just do his thing and leave her behind, but he was coming to the realization that he just couldn’t. If he were to have her, there would be no going back, he wouldn’t be able to get rid of her if he tried, even if she wanted nothing to do with him in the end.

They were people of science, after all, and while he was a doctor in everything but name, he felt she could complete him in that sense. Under all that cold, bitter attitude, he knew she was just as unhinged and violent as he was. He was the antithesis of everything she was, and that’s what he liked about her. She wasn’t like him, but he could tell that at their very cores, they were the same. He wanted to show her that.

Deep down, he wanted to believe she’d be lost without him.

Blaire strolled into his office, making Trager curl his hand into a fist, hiding the teeth from his friend. While he was sure he knew about his little “business,” Trager didn’t want to risk anything. To be honest, he wasn’t in much of a talking mood at the moment. He wanted to clear his mind and get ready to bring the teeth to his customers, and he wanted to think about his next move. That was the thing with Cat Crane, when he thought he was ahead, she was only a step ahead of him. It didn’t take much to change that little pattern, but he hadn’t gotten as far as he wanted to. She was still able to take control of her situation - and he knew it was a situation she wasn’t fond of - and turn the tables on him. Now he was stuck having to improvise.

On one hand, he’d now know where she lived, but on the other… there was no way in hell Cat was gonna let him anywhere near her willingly.

“You’re coming tomorrow, right?” Blaire asked after what felt like forever. In reality, it had only been a moment. Trager was stuck in his own head that day, but it was something that couldn’t be helped.

“Yeah, totally, bud. Don’t worry. You won’t believe who I got to go out with me.” He told him, leaning forward with a wide smile on his face. Blaire scoffed.

“Ugh, don’t tell me it’s that weird broad you’ve been bothering for the past few weeks.” Blaire rolled his eyes at the thought of it. There was no doubt Trager blackmailed the new doctor into going, and he was sure the fallout of his terrible decisions would end up hurting the company. He warned him when they first hired Dr. Crane, but he knew Trager wouldn’t listen.

“Oh yeah, it’s her alright. That guy I had you admit was the bait.” Blaire glared at his friend.

“Ricky,” he began sternly, moving closer to the nonchalant man’s desk. “Don’t tell me that’s why you had me do that.” When Trager didn’t answer, Blaire knew he was right.

“Oh god this is gonna be terrible for the company.” Blaire muttered, running his fingers through his thin, greasy hair.

“Come on, Jer. I made sure he didn’t know it was me. If he does know, he won’t figure it out for a while. Cat wants him transferred back to Arkham, but if you really don’t trust it we can just send someone with him.” He practically watched the small man’s face grow red.

“Oh? And who the hell would that be.” Trager stopped to think about this, before the image of the small, blonde doctor came to mind.

“Dr. Dawes.”

“She’s new, but she’s been around Dr. Crane’s experiments. Too risky.” Trager shook his head.

“If you think Arkham isn’t crawling with corruption too, buddy, then you have another thing coming.” Trager answered, his tone bordering on threatening.

“I assume you’ve done your research?” Blaire asked, and Trager nodded. With a sigh, Blaire finally agreed, leaving Trager’s office shortly after, leaving the man alone with his thoughts and teeth again.

[81scorp]

From the diary of Angela Baker

(Originally posted on Deviantart Oct 30, 2017)

Warning: This fanfic contains SPOILERS for the 1983 horrorfilm Sleepaway Camp directed by Robert Hiltzik.

---------------------------------------- Dear Diary My name is Angela Baker and I... have lived an interesting life. When I was little my dad and brother Peter died in a motorboat accident. It scarred me mentally and the next eight years was a very hard time in my life. I was adopted not long after the accident and lived with my aunt, Dr. Martha Thomas, and my cousin Ricky. My aunt is actually very nice and positive... a little TOO positive. She`s kinda like Snow white... if Snow white was a stepford wife who had taken too much Prozac. My cousin Ricky is OK, he always looks after me. Anyway, after having been raised and homeschooled by my quirky aunt for eight years She thought it was a good idea to send Ricky and me away to summercamp. She thought it might help me come out of my shell since I had been very introverted for all those years. Summercamp was not as bad as I had feared, I met some nice people and started to open up a bit.Then people started to die.At first the deaths seemed to be accidents, but then it became clear that they weren`t. To make a long story short, the killer was caught and I turned out to be a guy.I should probably go back to the beginning and explain a few things.I remember when I first met my aunt Martha she was so optimistic of having a new kid in the house. I don`t remember everything she said, but the gist of it was that she had always wanted a girl. I remember the last thing that she said very clearly though. "Angela... Such a lovely name... Why I believe it means Angel! Why yes I`m sure it does! I know you`re going to like that name. Won`t you Peter?" So... the part where I said that my brother Peter died? Change it to "sister Angela" and you have the correct picture. My aunt liked my sister more, but since she was gone my aunt decided to take advantage of my traumatized psyche and raise me as a girl in her place. And the killer? That was me, I killed all those people. In my defense though, most of those people were mean to me. Anyway, I was sent to an insane asylum... for about a couple of months. One of the doctors declared me sane and let me out. To be honest, I don´t think I was fully cured, but I guess they just needed the extra bed. I wasn`t the only one he let out. There was another guy who was older than me (old enough to be my dad). He and I discussed what we were gonna do now that our old lives had ended and our new lives just begun. To (once again) make a long story short: he is now my new legal guardian. I like him a lot more than my aunt Martha. Sure, she was nice and all but that lady was crazy! This new guy is mental health personified compared to her! He runs a motel and his name is Norman, Norman Bates. I call him "Uncle Norm".He is nice and, like I said earlier, WAY more balanced than aunt Martha but there is one downside to living in the same house as him. His mom. I`ve never met her but I can sometimes hear her voice through the walls. She shouts a lot and says such awful things to Uncle Norm when they`re in the same room. Poor guy, he doesn`t deserve her treatment. Sure, she has her moments when she treats him with kindness, but those moments are few. Maybe I could take care of her like I did to those mean people at summercamp? I could make it look like an accident. But that will have to wait for another day. The doctor that declared me sane helped me get in contact with a guy who can provide me with estrogen. I`m going through puberty and I`ve done this Angela thing for so long that going back to living as a guy again would just feel weird. Another thing I`m not gonna go back to is being homeschooled. That`s right, I`m gonna start going to public school a week from today. If I`m gonna learn to be more social and open up I need to spend time with real people. When it`s gymclass I`ll just do what I did at summercamp: not shower with the other girls, just wait till they`re done. Completly foolproof. Just think about it, my first day at a real high school, one week from today! Eek! I`m so excited!

Peace. Angela

- - - - - - It`s been one week since I started high school today. Forks High School to be precise. Not as great and exciting as I hoped it would be, but, thank god, not as horrible as I had feared.I`ve made some friends. Their names are Jessica Stanley, Tyler Crowley, Mike Newton, Angela Weber and Bella Swan. It was very easy to build a circle of friends. All it took for me was to befriend Jessica and she introduced me to the rest. They`re all fun to hang around with... except Bella. She`s not a mean person or anything but she seems very disinterested in hanging with the group. Then there`s this weird guy who doesn`t come to school every day, only the cloudy days. He has pale skin, a stupid haircut (What`s the deal with his hair? Who would willingly style their hair like that?) and looks, for lack of a better word, almost vampiric. I don`t like the way he looks at me. I heard from Jessica that his name is Edward. Edward Cullen.

- - - - - - I almost died today.I was standing at my school`s parkinglot and some guy who was in a hurry lost control of his car. I was almost crushed between his car and one that was parked behind me. But then that Edward Cullen guy showed up out of nowhere, grabbed me and stopped the car from slamming in to me. At least that what I think happened. Everything happened so fast and when I finally realized that I had been just a second away from death he was gone. All that was left was a big dent in the door of the car and it`s driver wondering if I was OK.If that really was Edward then there`s more to him than meets the eye, and maybe he`s not as bad as I thought he was.

- - - - - - I take back everything nice I`ve ever said about Edward Cullen. It has been one week since he saved me from being crushed by that car and after that he has only gotten more interested in me. He stares at me, follows me around, appears mysteriously out of nowhere one second and disappears without a trace the next. I think he even snuck into my bedroom and watched me when I was asleep. He scares me. I`m afraid that he`ll find out about my secret. Then again, maybe he already knows and has no problems with it. The guy IS supernatural after all, it`s possible that maybe he has supersmell and can smell the small amount of male hormones I have. But that leads me to the other thing about him that scares me: He`s a stalker with superhuman speed and strength, and I`m just an ordinary mortal. If I want to get rid of him he`ll see me coming and stop me before I`ve even been able to scratch his skin. I`m scared. So scared.

I felt I had to tell someone. It may not get rid of Edward but at least I won`t feel alone, so I decided to tell our school`s guidance counselor miss Summers. I don`t know her first name but I`m sure it starts with a B and ends with a Y. It`s either Betty or Buffy. She`s a little younger than most of the teachers at school, probably in her early twenties, and is a real good listener. I told her about Edward but I left out the part about him having superpowers. I described him as "that pale guy with a creepy stare, stupid haircut, really stupid haircut" and I also mentioned "almost vampiric". I`m not sure but I think I noticed something in her eyes when I mentioned that last part. She told me not to worry and that she would keep an eye on him. I hope that`s enough. - - - - - - It has now been two weeks since the last time I wrote and there has been no sign of Edward Cullen in the school or even in the entire town. Whatever it was that miss Summers did it sure was effective. Turns out that thing that happened to me, being saved from a car by Edward only to be spied on by him later, happened to another girl a month before me. The girl in question was one of my classmates, Bella Swan. Now that Edward`s gone Bella`s all torn up about about it, as if she`s "lost the love of her life". Please! First: the guy was a creepy stalker, second: you weren`t the only one he stalked. So basically, he cheated on you. There are better guys out there than him. Unfortunately Bella hasn`t come to that realization yet, she`s been inconsolable since the day it became clear that he wasn`t gonna come back. I wanted to help her and gave her the number to the best therapist I know, the guy who helped me and uncle Norm get out of the insane asylum, Dr Hannibal Lecter. - - - - - - Two weeks have now passed since the last time I wrote. What has happened since then? Oh yeah, about a week ago Bella decided to take my advice and visit Dr Lecter and I haven`t seen her since. Wonder what happened? Oh well. I and the rest of my friends had a halloween party at Jessica`s house yesterday. I came dressed as Cleopatra. We did the mash. We did the monster mash. The monster mash. It was a graveyard smash.

Fun times were had. I have really grown as person these last months. I have come a long way from the shy, introverted non-girl that was too afraid to reach out and make new friends. I just hope they never find out my secret. If they do... Oh well, guess I`ll just have to make it look like an accident. Gotta go now, uncle Norm is shouting that the dinner is ready. We`re having pancakes. (Yay!)

Peace.

Angela

[dragon-kazansky]

The hypnotist - Jervis Tetch x reader

Summary: Gotham is under threat and the dead are rising. Meanwhile, you’re still on the outside and Penguin wants your help with the Court of Owls.

Mostly you and Oswald in this chapter. Long chapter ahead!

Chapter 7 - Gotham’s judgement

The next few weeks were defiantly very exciting. Gotham always had a surprise up it’s sleeves. 

Jim had shot Mario because of the virus, which Lee didn’t believe right away. She demanded Jim be arrested, or at the very least an investigation took place for the murder of her husband, could you blame her?

Your only enjoyment out of that was watching Jim Gordon suffer. You had been through enough to find satisfaction in his misery.

Unfortunately, you were less than thrilled to bump into him while on a job. You had done such a good job of avoiding him up until now, but it was going to happen sooner of later.

Neither one of you said anything for a moment. Jim just looked you up and down, wondering what it is he should say. There had been a lot on his mind lately, but he hadn’t forgotten about what Jervis had said.

“Jim.”

“Y/N.”

“On a case?”

You wanted to keep the conversation clear from Jervis and you. You doubted that would last after what happened with Mario, but he didn’t need to know you knew. You didn’t want to explain how you had eyes and ears around the city.

“Yeah, I don’t know if you know, but Jerome’s body was taken... We think his followers have something to do with it. You heard anything?”

“Not specifically, only that apparently some of the dead have risen. Do you think Jerome will be resurrected?” You tilted your head to the side. Jerome was as good a topic as any.

“Possibly. If you hear about where they might have taken him, will you call me?”

“I guess. I should get back to work.” You went to walk past him, hoping that would be the end of it, but he reached out and grabbed you gently by the arm, causing you to turn and face him. You sigh quietly.

“I spoke to Jervis.”

“Oh?” You knew this from the letter, but you’s humour him anyway.

“He... He backed up your story. I have no reason to think he was lying. I’m sorry I put that pressure on you. I just don’t understand why you would willingly follow him. He killed people, he shot Vale in front of you, you heard what his sister said about him.” Jim was trying to read your expression, but you didn’t give him the satisfaction.

“I like him.” You shrugged. “Everyone in this city is guilty of something.”

“Not everyone.”

“Most people, then. He had been nothing but kind to me, he didn’t hypnotise me to do anything, he just talked to me. He’s sweet, sure he’s sinister and creepy at times, but I think that’s just you feeding into the loss of Alice. He’s not exactly your number one fan.”

“Right, maybe you shouldn’t visit him any more.”

“Why would I do that? I’m the only person he has.” You released your arm from his grip and took a step back.

“I’m concerned about your feelings for him.” He stares at you blankly.

“I don’t see how this is any of your business.” You glared at him. “Why don’t you go back to your case and leave Jervis and I alone? I’d much rather you did.” You hissed through your teeth.

“Y/N...”

“Unless, does you knowing the truth now change anything?” You looked up at him curiously. 

“You mean, do I think you’re an accessory to he murders Jervis Tetch committed, and am I going to arrest you?” He asked, sighing.

You nodded your head eagerly.

“No, it does not. You’re not guilty of what he did, no matter which way I look at this. You are not being sent to Arkham with him.” Jim looked at you seriously. “There is nothing wrong with you.”

That had to be! Why else would you do it?

“Whatever.” You stepped even further away from him. “I’d assume Jerome’s cult would need a lot of electricity to jump start him back from the dead.” You shrugged. “Start there.” You walked away.

Jim could only sigh and watch you go.

Within the hour you have finished up your job and take to the city. You didn’t quite feel like going home just yet.

Victor Zsaz was a well known assassin in Gotham. He took down all his targets, no matter who they were. His kill count was marked on his body. You had never met him personally, but you had heard about him.

He was currently standing across the street.

You briefly made eye contact.

“Hey!” He called out.

“Hey.” You replied.

Zsaz crossed the road and looked you up and down. He taller than you, so you had to look up a bit to make eye contact with him.

“Do you know Jim Gordon?”

“I know him.” Last you heard, Zsaz was more than capable of finding people on his own. It felt weird to be talking to an assassin. He seemed so chill.

“Where is he?”

“Did Falcone hire you to kill him after he murdered Mario, his son?”

“Maybe. Do you know where he is?”

“Not exactly. He went looking for Jerome Valeska’s cult. I told him they were somewhere with a lot of electricity. That doesn’t exactly narrow it down, but maybe you can find him from that... or just find Harvey Bullock, he’ll go to Jim.” You shrugged.

“Thanks.”

“Sure...”

Zsaz turned and left. You’re not quite sure what happened, but he was pretty cool for a hired assassin. You blinked, got over it, and left.

Later that evening, Jerome was on TV. He had woken up thanks to some dude, Dwight, who had taken his face to pretend to be him. Jerome had taken his face back and stapled it back on. It wasn’t exactly a good look, but it was the best he could do.

Jerome cut off the power in the city, telling Gotham to do whatever they wanted. Kill, steal, cause chaos. 

Luckily you were back at the house when this went down. You were sure you were safe from the chaos. Jervis wouldn’t like it if he heard you got caught up in that mess.

Though you had to admit it was rather exciting seeing the city go crazy one way or another.

By the next day Jerome had been arrested and sent to Arkham, with a newly sewn on face, after kidnapping Bruce and almost killing him. You saw it all on the news in the morning.

Deeming it safe to leave the house, you decided today you would visit Jervis again. It had been a while since you had seen him in person. The letters were nice, but you wanted to see him. You had so many whispers around the city you wanted to share with him.

As usual, Jervis was pleased to see you. He reached for your hands as soon as you sat down and you chuckled. You had missed him just as much, it felt good to hold his hands in yours.

"It's been so long since I saw you last, without you here time doesn't pass fast." He sighed and gave a little shake of his head, his curly hair swishing with the movement.

"It's good to see you to, Jervis. The house is quiet since it's just me." You also gave a sigh.

"Tell me, my dear, what have you been up to?" He smiles and leans in closer, eager to hear what you have been doing. He had long since ran put of tales to tell you on his end, well, maybe except from one.

"I've been mostly keeping to myself, Gotham has grown more curious than before."

"Oh? Do tell."

"I hear whispers that the dead are rising again. Turns out to be true because Jeroma Valeska was causing havoc yesterday. Turns out he woke up without a face and went after Bruce Wayne because that's all he remembers last." You chuckled. "I'm sure you've crossed paths with him at some point."

"He is here. I heard his laughter late last night. I have yet the pleasure of meeting him." He chuckled. "I hope James Gordon hasn't been a problem."

"Not really. I bumped into him yesterday. He believes me now, but doesn't think I'm guilty for anything. I was almost hoping for my one way ticket here, you have no idea how much I want to be with you again."

Jervis didn't like how sad you sounded.

He could only smile at how mad those words were. There isn't a single soul in Gotham who would want to be in here, but you just wanted to be with him. He was flattered.

"Arkham is no place for such a wonderful soul." He smiled.

"I don't care. At least we would be under the same roof and I wouldn't have to see Jim again." You chuckled, no actual humour behind it.

"I would like nothing more than to see you everyday."

You both just gazed at one another for a moment. You took in all his features. His dark brown eyes, his curly hair, his smile. As dramatic as it sounded, you were afraid of forgetting any small detail about him the longer you go without seeing him.

Being in love with a criminal who was locked up in mental asylum was beyond difficult.

You bit your lip shyly and looked down at your entwined hands.

"Please don't shed tears," you felt him wipe away the tears you were unaware were falling, "tell me how to ease your fears." He whispered.

"I... I should go." You let go of his hands and got up quickly, leaving without saying goodbye.

Jervis wanted to call out you, but couldn't find his voice. He was stunned that you left so quickly. His heart ached to go after you, but alas he couldn't.

He wasn't sure what got you so upset, but he knew he didn't like it.

Visiting him was getting hard. Every time you came here to see him, you were just reminded that you would be leaving alone.

Your loneliness was really starting to take effect on you.

You told yourself you wouldn't visit him for a while.

Turns out you wouldn't have to worry about that as Oswald Cobblepot had returned to the city after being shot and pushed into the river by Nygma. Ivy Pepper had saved him and told him she could help him put together an army of freaks from Indian hill. While in the topic of hired help, he had thought of you. Barbara hadn't seen you all day and didn't know where you were living now, but it seemed like fate was its game today when he saw you in the street.

"Just the person I was looking for!"

You turned around and saw Penguin waddling your way.

"Penguin, what do I owe the pleasure?" Since he didn't seem to hold any grudge on you for that founders party dinner, you figured you could at least hear him out.

"I need your help." He smiled.

"Uh, sure, what do you want me to do?" You figured it was a favour.

"Actually, this is a little different. Would you be ever so kind to come back to the mansion with me?" His smile remained present ad he looked at you.

"I suppose. Lead the way."

You needed the distraction, so going with him didn't sound like too bad of an idea. Oswald actually remained quite pleasant all the way to his mansion, which he hadn't seen since Ed pushed him in the river.

When you reached the mansion there a three other people there:

Ivy Pepper, who is beyond pleased to see Penguin return with a friend.

Victor Fries, who is standing in the far corner with a blank expression and making you feel cold just by being in the room with him.

Bridget Pike, otherwise known as Firefly, who has put as much space between herself and Fries and giving a forced smile.

"This is everyone!" Oswald announces proudly as you take in the state of his make shift crew.

“So, what am I doing here? You have two pretty cool team mates already. no pun intended.” You looked at Fries.

“Well, you seem to be able to handle yourself. I know all about the Tetch thing that happened.” Oswald smiled. “I think it’s in my best interest to have you on my side too.”

“Your interest? What about my interest?”

“What do you want?” He shook his head lightly, wondering what your price was.

“I want Jervis Tetch out of Arkham.” You crossed your arms.

“I don’t think-”

“That’s my price. Take it or leave it.”

Penguin saw that this was the only way he’d get you on the team and sighed, nodding a couple of times. “Very well, I’ll see what strings I can pull, but you only get that if I get what I want.”

“Yeah, you haven’t told me that part yet.” You walked past him and went to sit next to Ivy on the sofa.

“And yet you’re already staying.”

“Just tell me the detail before I reconsider everything.” You gave a long drawn out sigh.

“You’re going to help me take down Ed and Barbara Kean.” He stood there with a smug grin on his face.

“Ed?”

“Edward Nygma? Maybe you have heard of him. He used to work for me.” He shifted on the spot as if there was more to that story, but he didn’t tell you what it was.

“OK. I can help take out a few people.” You shrugged. “Looks to me like our job just got a little easier though.” You gestured to the TV which Ivy had put on, turning up the volume.

Penguin went and got a closer look.

‘The Riddler’ had been apprehended, then he escaped.

“How long did it take him to come with that one?” Oswald chuckled. He turned around with a grin and looked at each of you. “Rest up, tomorrow is going to be a busy day.”

You glanced at the TV once more before going off to find your room.

You were ready bright and early in the morning. You had no real reason to trust Oswald Cobblepot, he was known for stabbing people in the back and tossing them to the side when he was down with them, but you would make sure he kept up his end of the deal when this was over.

You thought it best not to tell Jervis about what you were doing, you could explain everything when you saw him in person.

“Come along!” You hear Penguin call from down the hall.

Along with Firefly, you followed Oswald out of the mansion and, as his request, you drive to Jim’s place. Apparently there was more to this plan that he had told you last night. You sort of expected it as, once again, he isn’t trustworthy.

Jim leaves his crappy little apartment after talking to Harvey on the phone, his path his blocked by Penguin and you. He looks over his shoulder to see Firefly blocking off the other side.

Clearly Penguin wanted to talk to him.

“Oswald.”

“Hello, Jim.” Penguin smiled at him.

“I didn’t think you two would be working together, not after the dinner.” Jim looks at you.

“Let’s just forget about that night, shall we?” You sigh.

“I haven’t seen you for a while, where have you been?” He asks, looking concerned about your well-being.

“Non of your business.” You hiss.

“Have you been visiting Jervis?”

“Again, non of your business.”

“I’m concerned about what he’s doing to you.” Jim keeps pushing and pushing.

“He’s done nothing to me, leave it alone.” You can feel your anger boiling with each word that leaves his mouth.

Jim drops it for now.

“Guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’re still alive.” Oswald goes down the steps and closer to Jim, you remain where you are.

“Yes, I’m quite hard to kill.” Oswald says proudly. 

“I take it this isn’t a social call.”

“I’m looking for Ed. We have some unfinished business. And it turns out you are the last one who saw him.”

You furrow your gaze Jim.

Apparently Ed disappeared after being apprehended. No one has seen him since. It made you wonder what was going on in this city.

“Yeah, before escaped police custody.”

“Escaped? From the great Detective Gordon? I think not. Ed Went on television demanding information about a group that runs Gotham. A group called the ‘Court.’ And you called him and said you had that information.”

This was the first time you had heard about this ‘Court’ and you wondered what else you had missed while focusing on Jervis all this time.

“A ruse to get him to the GCPD.”

You scoffed.

“Perhaps. But then you arrest him, and, voila, he disappears. Sorry, ‘escapes custody.’ Can you see how I might think you may have handed Ed off to this all-powerful group from some reason?” Oswald got right up in Jim’s face.

“For your own sake, Oswald, drop it.”

“I knew it.” Oswald turns to smile at both you and Bridgit.

“You don’t know anything.” Jim grabs Penguin and pulls him closer to him. “Trust me, let it go.”

“Jim Gordon concerned about our safety?” You shook your head with an assumed smile. “I thought I was free from all that.”

He chose to ignore you.

“Sorry, no can do. I assume the Court doesn’t like publicity, hence Ed’s sudden disappearance after his television debut. But that is exactly what they’re going to get. Unless they deal with me in a civilised and professional manner. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind facilitating something on my behalf.” Oswald pulled out a phone and handed it over to Jim. “My number is the only one in here. I will expect a call by the end of the day.”

“Why do I get the sense I’m being threatened?”

“This is a favour, Jim. After all, we’re old friends, right?” Oswald turned around and came back to you, not sparing you a glance as you remained stood on the steps looking at Jim.

He looked back, but neither of you said anything. You slowly turned on your heel and left, following Oswald back up to the car.

You all head back to the mansion.

When you get there Ivy is waiting with a letter in hand, she give it to you with a smile and leaves. You already know who it’s from by the handwriting. You go over to the table and open it up.

My dear Y/N,

Something curious happened late last night, almost enough to give me a fright. Captain Barnes was being escorted away, then someone strange got in their way. 

The man and the captain had a fight, the man won and took him out of sight. Barnes is now out there roaming free, the rest I’ll share when you next see me.

Jervis

You smiled as you folded the letter up. Best not to let Penguin know about this, he would only start a riot. You rose up from the table and tucked the letter away.

You would make time to visit Jervis later.

For now you passed the time until Jim called.

Jim didn’t call for several hours, Penguin couldn’t pick up the phone fast enough when it did ring.

“Hello, Jim.”

You looked up at him as he answered the call. You got up and moved closer, hoping to hear Jim’s side of the conversation.

“I was beginning to think I wasn’t going to hear from you.”

“I met you the other night, didn’t I?” You heard Jim say. You and Oswald shared a look of confusion. “When you took Nygma?”

It became clear to you very quickly that he wasn’t talking to Penguin.

“Jim?”

“I keep wondering what it is the Court is planning to do with him.”

“Stop talking.” You heard in the back.

“This used to be a bank, right? First bank of Gotham?”

Oswald caught on to what Jim was doing. He looked at you and you nodded.

“I just hope it can withstand whatever the bomb’s going to do to it.”

‘Bomb?’ You mouthed at Oswald. Was this the weapon you had heard whispers about?

“It sounds like we don’t have much time.”

“Shut up.”

Penguin hung up and rushed off, you followed him as quickly as possible. Jim was in a dangerous situation right now and he had reached out to Penguin for help.

“Let me get this straight, this Court runs Gotham and they are going to wipe it out with a bomb?” You asked quickly, trying to keep up with everyone as they got ready.

“That’s it.” Penguin confirmed.

“And they have Ed?”

“Supposedly.”

“Why the hell am I even still here? What are my services even for? I don’t know how to disarm a bomb.”

“You’re an extra number on my side.” Penguin sighed, tired with your questions.

“An extra number? For real?” You crossed your arms. “If I stick with you, will you keep up your end of the deal?”

“Yes, if you come with me now and help rescue Jim.”

You were doing this for Jervis.

The first bank of Gotham. Very well then.

You arrive just in time to help Jim with his fight. Firefly turns on her flamethrower which causes the guy to back up and fall through the window, landing down below where a gathering was taking place.

Jim calls out for everyone to get out.

The bomb was sitting on top of a table in the centre of the room.

You stand beside Oswald.

“Took you long enough. I need to get these people out of here.”

“And I need to talk to the Court.” Penguin tried to stop him. “Have them turn over Ed. Remember?”

“There is a bomb down there with a weaponized version of the Alice Tetch virus.”

You perk up at that.

“They turned the virus into a weapon?” You peered down into the room curiously.

Jim glanced at you.

“If you want to be here when it goes off, be my guest.” Jim marched passed Penguin.

“What about out deal?”

“You just torched their assassin. My guess is, they’ll be in touch.”

You shook your head and backed away from Penguin. “I’m out.” You turned on your heel and ran as fast as you could. The Court was Penguin’s issue, you had to see Jervis now. There is no way he knew about the weapon.

Then again, the weapon would be doing exactly what he was doing, just on a bigger scale. He might even be pleased to hear about it.

You put as much distance between you and the Bank as possible and made your way to the safe house. You decided it might be best to lay low for a little while. If the Court knew about you helping Penguin, would they bring you in too?

You knew the deal would be out the window as soon as you left Penguin’s side, but it seemed like the better option. You really didn’t like the sound of this Court and wanted out before they could get to you too.

You didn’t leave the house until the next day.

Penguin had surely been taken in by now and no one seemed to be after you. Perhaps you weren’t a threat to them, despite the fact you knew of them. Perhaps they were just waiting.

You took your chances and made the trip to Arkham.

Jervis was waiting. He wasn’t entirely sure you would visit him again after your sudden leave last time, but he hoped you would come.

When he was told he had a visitor he perked up, hoping it was you who had come to him. He wanted to know you were alright and 

It wasn’t.

It was Leslie Thompkins.

“Twinkle, twinkle, pretty doctor, how I with I could unlock her.” Jervis kept his gaze on her as she chose to stand rather than sit with him. “Here in Arkham, what a wonder. Too bad her husband’s six feet under.”

“Clever. How is life in the nuthouse?”

“Oh, you know, it has its ups and downs. It’s a little lonely, if I’m honest.” He thought of you. “Forgive me for saying this, Leslie, dear, but, uh, you don’t look yourself.” He didn’t want to talk about you and decided to get straight to the point. After all, she had come to see him for a reason. “Have you been sleeping? Or are you plagued by nightmares?”

“You want to hear the funny thing, Jervis?” She sat down.

“Oh, do tell. I do so love funny things.”

“I never really blamed you for infecting Mario. I just thought, ‘Why blame the lunatic?’ So I blamed Jim.”

“Wise... though hardly sidesplittingly funny.” He narrowed his brows and gazed at her in slight confusion.

“Why did you infect him?”

“Oh, Doctor, is that the question that’s been ruining your sleep?”

“You wanted to hurt Jim. Why not infect me? Why make Mario suffer?” She tried to search for answers in his gaze, but couldn’t find any.

“Do you remember our tea party at your lovely home?”

“When you shot Valerie Vale.”

“Yes! Good memory. Well, I saw the way that you looked at James Gordon. You loved him. And that love doomed Mario.” Jervis had a tiny grin on his face.

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“It makes perfect sense!” He raised his voice and leaned forwards slightly. “Jim Gordon does not deserve love! Jim Gordon does not get love!” He yelled. “I infect your husband. You blame Jim. Your love him becomes hate.”

Lee understood it now.

“It makes perfect sense.”

Lee stood up.

“And it worked. But you know the funny thing? There’s poor Mario, cold in the ground... and here you are, blaming Jim, even blaming me, but guess who’s really to blame?”

“I am.”

“Now, see, that’s funny.” He smiles.

“I feel sorry for Y/N. It’s true what they say about not helping who you fall in love with, but I’m sorry it had to be you.” She didn’t find any of this funny. She wanted to hurt him for what happened.

Jervis’ smile seemed to brighten up. You were in love with him? Truly? Oh, he hoped that was true. Denying his feelings for you was beginning to hurt. He had lots of time to think in here, and think of you he did.

“It’s a shame that love story is as tragic as mine.”

Jervis frowned and glared up at the woman.

Now that, he didn’t like.

Lee left him alone.

Jervis sat there for a moment, frowning. He had no intention of staying in Arkham, he also had no intention of leaving you out there alone. If what Lee said was true, then he just couldn’t.

He wouldn’t let this end tragically too.

Jervis waited to be escorted back to his cell, but confusion took over when he realised the guard hadn’t come in to get him.

“Excuse me, are we not returning to my cell?” He called out.

“You have another visitor.” The guard replied.

Well, Jervis certainly felt popular today. He turned back to the gate to see who had come to see him now.

His gaze softened when you walked in. He was so happy to see you. Jervis had been so worried after you left so quickly last time. He wasn’t sure what it was that made you so upset, but he was glad to know you seemed alright now.

You smiled at him as you sat down.

“Hello Jervis.”

“Hello, my dear. What a wonderful surprise!” He couldn’t contain his excitement.

“I’m sorry about running off last time... but don’t worry, all is good. Well.... sort of.” You bit your lip sheepishly.

“Has something happened?”

You glanced up at the guard who had his back turned on the other side of the gate. You leaned in closer and placed your hands on Jervis’. He also leaned in when he realised that what ever you were about to tell him was important.

“I got your letter about Barnes... something weird is going on in Gotham.”

“It is the type of place to attract weirdness.” He chuckled softly.

“I know that, but this is really weird. Have you heard of the Court?”

“I can’t say I have.” He furrowed his gaze at you. “What’s going on? Are you in trouble?”

“No, at least, not yet. I think Gotham is being run by some secret alliance... and I think they have turned Alice’s blood into a weapon. I didn’t stick around for all the details, but if I had to guess, they want to wipe out Gotham...”

“My dear Alice has been turned into a weapon?” He covered his mouth and shook his head. “My poor sister.”

“James Gordon is looking into it, but something it weird about him too.”

Jervis reached for your hands again and leaned in close once more.

“Stay away from him. He will being you no good.” Jervis frowned. “Perhaps you should leave Gotham for a while? You’ll be safer.”

“No. I’m not leaving Gotham, what about you? I can’t leave you here alone.”

He smiled.

“You don’t have to worry about me. Spend enough time in here and you become accustomed to it.” Jervis chuckled. “I just want you safe.”

“I’m not leaving.” You gave a small grin. “You can’t make me either.”

Jervis chuckled too.

“Before I forget, I saw Lee before I came in... Did she come to speak to you?”

You assumed as much considering what happened on her wedding day. Talk about the worst wedding ever.

“She did. I wonder what she will do. Curious.” He chuckled.

“What did she want?”

“She wanted to know why I infected Mario and not her. Under other circumstances, she would have been impressed, but alas, she was a part of the equation.”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m impressed.”

“I’m happy with that outcome.”

“I should go, I need to find out what happened to Penguin after I left yesterday.” You began to rise from the table, Jervis reluctantly let go of your hands.

“Penguin?” He tilted his head to the side. “What were you doing with him?”

“Working. I just didn’t realise just how bad the job would get.” You gave him a soft smile and made your way over to the gate. “I’ll try and visit again soon.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

You smiled as you bit your lip again, moving over to him and placing a kiss to his cheek. You left before he could say anything.

Jervis was once again left alone filled with happiness.

The guard came in and escorted him back to his cell.

However, neither of you knew what else was to come. The bomb in the bank was just beginning of Gotham’s judgement.

Things were about to get more complicated.

Tags:

@mistressoftorture @fandombeehive @awyr

[moonlights-inkwell]

There’s Something Tragic About You.

Summary: You find out that Jason’s dead, and slowly but surely learn to cope before a mugging brings a new vigilante to light in your eyes.

Jason Todd x reader

Word Count: 3,018

[part 1] [part 3]

So... I admit I got a little carried away with this. This chapter wound up longer and a hell of a lot angstier than I originally intended but oh well? 

Title is from Hozier’s From Eden. 

You find out that he's dead at the same time everyone else in your class does when the principal comes in to English class to share the awful news. You hate to admit it to yourself, but as soon as he walks in you know he's there to talk about Jason, but never in a thousand years had you thought that he was going to say that Jason was dead. According to him, Jason had died when a bomb had gone off in the hotel where he had been staying; some freak terror attack. Seemed to come out of nowhere, there was nothing that could have been done, he says in a voice authoritative enough to make you angry but filled with enough condolence for you to wasn't to sob. While everyone else whispers about terrorism and why Jason was all the way in Ethiopia; your head bows, hair falling around your face as you allow the tears to fall. He's gone. No matter how many whispers about him and how weird it was that he was dead would bring him back, no matter how many comments about terrorism, about bombs. He's dead. Jason, your Jason, brilliant Jason. Dead. The only thought that comes to you beyond your comprehension of his death is that whatever deity lives up above you must have a sick sense of humour, as your tear-filled eyes stare down at your copy of The Great Gatsby. Of course. Two dead Jays. The rest of the day is a blur of incomprehensible colours and sounds, while you're caught in a head space somewhere between dazed and haunted. The kids who had once bullied you instead give you a wide berth, even they seem to grasp that right now isn't the right time. No one speaks to you all day, and just the concept of being in the cafeteria makes you want to puke. Eating is a task that seems impossible and besides, there's no one there you want to sit with. Instead, you timidly walk to Jason's locker, unlock it, and stare blankly at the locker, making a mental note of the contents. Your eyes glide across an old red jacket that you hadn't seen in months. You recall making a comment about the jacket and how much you liked it, and in a moment of sudden desperation you grab it and pull it on, revelling in the feeling of being surrounded by something that had once been Jason's. [E/C] Eyes slide across a copy of pride and prejudice, and your fingers gently pick it up before closing the locker quickly. You know theft is wrong, and under normal circumstances you wouldn't have done such a thing, but you can't lose everything of him. You need something to remember him by, and it might be sick, but you need it to cope.

The funeral is unbearable, sitting beside your parents on a hard pew in an icy church in front of the coffin that held the boy who said he'd come home was hell, like a nightmare come true. Before Jason, the only person who you had ever known who had died was your grandmother, and the bracelet she had given you had been passed onto Jason, and like a curse it had taken Jason from you too. You had spent days trying to convince yourself that it was only a fear toxin induced hallucination, that Scarecrow had dropped some sort of bomb of gas over the city, leaving you to deal with the contents of your own mind, but no. Jason is dead. Gone forever, and you're stuck here without him. Your parents hadn't known Jason as anything more than 'that boy who comes over sometimes', but they sit silent besides you, and you're grateful for that. You're sure they don't know what to say beyond useless words of apology, but they're there and that means more than you could ever explain. Other than your family and a few of the teachers who had liked Jason, there is only one person there you even recognise, Bruce Wayne. You'd never said much more than a few words to Bruce while Jason was alive, only his butler who had taken a shine to you, but from the look of utter sadness that Mister Pennyworth had given you onto your way into the church you didn't doubt that Bruce and his butler had felt something like you did. It felt strange to think of Batman as a creature who could mourn, but orphaned Bruce Wayne's son being murdered? That was something you could never comprehend if you lived a hundred lifetimes. There's a boy who looks barely older than 18 or so, surrounded by other people that age, dressed in black with his eyes bloodshot. He looks almost strikingly like an older Jason and you almost call out before it occurs to you after a few seconds that he's Dick Grayson, Bruce's first ward. Jason had once confessed to feeling in the shadow of him, both as a Robin and as Bruce's son, and yet here he is crying for him. You don't approach either after the service or at the grave side. What could you possibly say to them that wouldn't sound trite or all too familiar? What do you say to people who already lost their families and just lost another member of the one they had tried to create for themselves? It feels strange as you stare down at his headstone, fifteen-year-old boys shouldn't be dead and buried. Jason shouldn't be.  

The sound of the alarm makes your eyes slip open, arm reaches out almost automatically to grab your phone and turn it off, bones cracking while you roll onto your back and check the screen for any new messages. Eyes squinting from the sudden bright light in the otherwise dimly lit room, you sigh softly and rake your fingers through your hair, a text from your mum hoping that you're safe and happy. You let out a quiet groan before shuffling to your feet, making a mental note for yourself to call her when you're more awake while padding into the kitchen as you crack your back, then turn on the radio as you begin to wake up at the sound of other voices. You curse at the sound of the news, almost sure that you had left it on the music station last night. The news, especially in Gotham was never good; there was a reason you don't read the Gazette (other than the fact that it's a rag). Fingers enclose around a box of cereal as the radio anchor talks about a crime scene in a warehouse near the docks, pouring the brightly coloured pebbles into a bowl while she talks about a duffel bag filled with decapitated heads. Somewhere in your sleep dazed mind reminds you that you should be disgusted by the waste of life, but the rest of you reminds you that this is Gotham. If you weren't willing to be surrounded with murder and crime you should have moved to Metropolis or Coast City for college, but you were still here, and you wonder if that says more about you than the city that you're willing to stay there. Your mum had wanted you to either go to a new city for college or live at home with her, but while you couldn't bring yourself to leave Gotham the prospect of living with your parents sounds hellish. You sit on the counter, eating tiredly as you half listen to an interview with Commissioner Gordon caught somewhere between too hungry to stop eating and too tired to get up and turn it off. Mumbling bitterly under your breath about how Gordon and his cops aren't going to do shit and how they never do shit, because they just leave all the hard work for Batman and each new Robin, you force yourself off the counter and off to get a shower and get dressed for work.   The walk to work is short, but Gotham is cold enough even in spring for you to feel uncomfortable during the walk. It's freezing, a hard blow of the wind making your coat billow around your thighs, and the only positive you can think of is that it isn't raining but as if someone above had been listening, a small droplet of water hits the tip of your nose, and then your forehead. Fuck. Of course. You let out a quiet groan and begin jogging, weaving in and out of other pedestrians and then cars as you bolt across the road. There's always a strange sort of discomfort that comes from living in Gotham, probably a result of it's wet and cold environment and the fact that it's close enough to an Asylum for its inmates to break out and live amongst you before attacking, but today's discomfort comes from something different than the usual. You turn your head to try to gage just what it is exactly as it hits you, it feels like being watched. Turning your head back to see what's in front of you, you try to ignore the feeling before turning on your heel to see if you can work out whether that feeling is right, but Gotham streets are so packed you could be stalked all the way from your apartment and have no clue. That thought makes your stomach drop quickly and because of that you can't help but feel relieved at the sight of the familiar red neon lettering on top of the diner.   Pauli's has hardly changed since you were in high school, still old looking and homely, with the red and white checked metal tables and peeling vinyl on the seats of the booths, spacious and claustrophobic in a way that makes you sad, but every single time you enter it's with a smile and today is no exception. The fifties aesthetic was one that you understood the appeal of without ever really being into under usual circumstances, but Pauli's was different for you, with the hand-drawn posters and bright colours. Hooking your jacket up on your usual peg by the door, you let yourself smile at one of the other waitresses (an older woman who had taken you happily and willingly under her wing after remembering you coming in near daily during your school days) and tie your apron around your waist. Working in Pauli's while you're in college had seemed almost obvious, like something destined to be: maybe it was a subconscious thing where you felt the need to come back to atone for the date that never happened, or just to return to something familiar in a city that looks more and more alien to you with every other day. The old diner meant more to you than you would have confessed; with its familiar slightly greasy smell and its regular customers and it helps on the long shifts after classes, when people who you see almost daily smile up at you while you fill up their coffee or take their orders, asking to make sure that you're okay. Gotham might have spent a lifetime making you harder than you would have been anywhere else; but the people, hardened in the same ways that you were, had done a pretty good job of reminding you that normal, everyday people were still good... and sometimes, after looking up at the flicking TV over the counter while it showed reports of costumed criminals, you need reminding. You often find your eyes glancing to your old booth, and then to the old black and white tiles around it, when shifts get slow in between intermittent glances to the clock on the wall surrounded by bright red neon letters, COFFEE. You pick up a pot of coffee, and turn around, noticing when a cop lifts a hand to indicate that he either needed a refill or wanted to order, you clench your jaw before sighing and forcing a smile and then walk over.   When you finally leave work the rain has stopped but the cold has increased fourfold as if to compensate for it, and your candy-coloured uniform barely does anything to keep you warm even with your jacket. It's almost unbearable, even with your hands shoved into your pockets, and that overwhelming feeling of someone watching you is back full throttle. The bright orange fluorescent lights overhead mean that at least you know that the way home isn't entirely dark, but it feels more like a clinical sort of light, the orange not the same warm colour as the street lights in other cities instead seeming cold. Gotham in daylight is like walking through any big city, but at night the city became something more... something darker. A labyrinth of winding streets, all smog filled and cold, with monsters hiding around every corner. All at once you're struck with an understanding why your mother always said that you shouldn't be out in the city after dark. You try to swallow that insecurity and slip down into an alley, your usual shortcut home, and finally start to relax at the familiarity. It's short-lived. Walking slowing, you hear more than one set of footsteps coming from behind you and you begin cursing under your breath, and before you can even begin to speed up you feel the sharp chill of a blade against your neck.   "Give us all you got." The man hisses into your ear, breath hot and predatory against your skin and you can't even begin to disguise the cringe that overcomes you. You know that you should be terrified but all that you can think is that his breath is gross. Two more men walk around the two of you, and leer down at you as your hand slides into the pocket of your coat, but then scowl as you reveal the contents to them; a coffee-shop loyalty card, a dollar fifty in change and four hair ties. You're a poor college student; you don't know why anyone would choose to mug you, there's nothing that you could possibly give to them that they would want. No watch, no jewellery, no phone, no wallet to hand over. You almost smile at the fact that you forgot your phone until it dawns on you that you have no way of calling for help and not getting your throat slashed for the attempt. Shit. Eyes flitting around the alley way, you try to make out if there is a way for you to escape, but to no avail as one of the two men surges closer to make sure that you weren't holding out on them. His hand scrabbles around in the empty pocket before grabbing at your thigh through the thin fabric, causing you to let out a loud yelp of anger while his face leans in closer to yours. Your mouth opens for you to tell him to get his hand off you but all that comes out is a loud scream as a bullet flies through the side of his head, sending a mess of blood and liquefied brain splattering onto the dirty ground. The man who had been holding onto you suddenly throws you to the ground beside the body, your hand barely missing the blood, as he and his one remaining accomplice run off.   The orange light from the streetlight makes the blood look almost black, like some sort of tar that was making its way closer and closer to you with every second. You shuffle backwards quickly, slicing your hand open in the scrabble to get away from the gore, only to slam against something warm and hard. Legs, you realise as you turn your head. Leaning over you is a man, tall and broad, clad in leather and a helmet that glints crimson even with the darkness and streetlights. The smell of gunpowder radiates from him; from the still smoking gun at his side.   "You always get the attention of dangerous pricks?" The voice that comes from the helmeted man is heavily modulated, sounding more like the sort of robots that you'd find in a Sci-fi B-movie crossed over with static and buzzing and it would be almost funny if it wasn't for the gun clenched in his hand and the fact he had just murdered someone in front of you. You assumed the modulation was there for a reason similar to the reason why Batman deepened his voice on patrol, being a Vigilante in Gotham was dangerous enough: but one who had no problem with killing? That meant that more than one type of person would be looking for him and a voice works as a means of finding a person. But hell, in Gotham it could just mean that the man in front of you actually was some sort of cyborg; like Arnie in Terminator, or like RoboCop. You stare up at him from your place on the floor, silent and scared witless, eyes flitting from the lifeless mask and the gun. "...Well?"   "...No?" You ask rather than state while getting to your feet, holding your injured hand awkwardly before shoving it into your pocket."...You just killed-"   "Put down." Was the mechanical response, as if talking about a rabid animal rather than a human being (albeit a scummy one), and that makes you step back quickly. "...You're welcome [Y/N]." Blinking rapidly, a droplet of rain hits your jaw, then another on your shoulder, then the top of your head, before the downpour begins once more. Within seconds, your hair is plastered to your forehead, and you let out a shaking sigh. You turn on heel from the helmeted man then run home as fast as your legs can carry you. It's only once you're home-with every door and window locked, sat on your couch in an old t-shirt and sweat pants while drying your hair with a towel, that you're suddenly struck with a question as you place a bandaid onto the palm of your hand.

How did he know your name?  

@hyp-oh-critical

[ever-growing-inspiration]

SELF-PARAGRAPH: Hurt - Leon's Surrender

I wear this crown of thorns upon my liars chair, Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair. Beneath the stains of time, the feelings disappear, You are someone else; I am still right here What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know... ...goes away in the end.

It’d felt like hours since he was thrown at the base of this precinct, the water nearly drowning him as he got shoved by his friend. He promised Dani he’d do this, to not end up like their Sire. The man was crazy, and Leon had admitted that his mentality was slowly spiraling into Loose-Mouth tendencies. Was he going to end up as one? Possibly, with how everything was going. The over-indulgence of blood hadn’t made it easier, only making his illness worse. God, how did he let himself fall into such a pit?

Tears were in his eyes and he sniffled hard, wanting to wipe his eyes but his hands were behind his back and against the chair. They’d been charmed to burn him if he tried to pull his hands out, making hit hard for him to really move. Using his shoulders to wipe his eyes, he looked to the table and felt a growl in his chest develop. Letting it out with a yell, he shifted hard in his seat but stopped when his hands started to slip from the cuffs. A stinging occurred on his wrists, leaving him growling again. He didn’t say anything, just waiting for the person to come in and tell him what they were going to do. Where the fuck were those assholes?

The door opened, his gaze instantly going to them but he didn’t look angry. He just had this air of defeat thanks to his eyes. The woman sat down across from him, knowing everyone in this place had a mental block thanks to Lenny telling everyone what his ability was. Great, now he’d never know what they were going to do. “Look, I just want to go to the Asylum and fixed.” He said, watching her nod before she began to speak. “I’m not here to take orders, Mr. Blanc. I’m here to get to the bottom of what happened in that basement. I need to hear it all from your account, your perspective, to see if the institute is exactly what you need. We only send people there for extreme cases and we’re not about to just ship you off because you say so.”

With a heavy sigh, he looked above them and felt his fangs digging into his bottom lip. “Fine.” He uttered, his voice choking a bit before looking over to the woman and right into her eyes. “I know none of you will believe me if you saw my thoughts so I’ll have to tell you every moment.” Shaking his head, he looked to the table and let his mind play through everything that he’d done, seen, and said to Lenny. “You might want to record or write this shit down because I’m only saying it once. It makes me want to end myself every moment I even think about it. So, let’s get this started.”

As the security cameras rolled in the viewing room, Leon sat there with the interrogator and told his whole story. He went through the first moments he’d started to strengthen his ability, getting to the point he could go well over a hundred miles with making telepathic communication. Then when he made contact with Lenny and realizing the protection that was around Castor. Fuck, he even relayed how he fooled the guards and how he was able to get a house in West Garler without suspicion. He told them about the spells he used that he stole from his friend, and where he’d gotten his supply of blood bags. Everything led up to the moment Eadric had brought him into Dani’s home, the lecture and torture they put him through to hopefully wake him up out of his Loose-Mouth mentality.

The interrogator was listening, not showing any sign of emotion towards Leon since she didn’t want him to have the upper hand at all. But, really, she thought it was all impressive. Leon didn’t bother trying to read her anyway, but he did keep his eyes right on hers. “I hate to admit it, but I’ve become a Loose-Mouth, and I’m not proud of it. What I’d done is horrible, even before Lenny, and I’m wanting reformation. I want to make it up to those who brought me out of my madness and fix myself. I want nothing to happen to them since they had been clueless as to what I was doing until they put the pieces together. They’re innocent. Please, let nothing happen to them.” 

In the viewing room, Mischa had Henry with her and all he could do was say that he was telling the truth. There was no other way around it and with their blocks up and at full-force, there wasn’t a doubt in their minds. “Fine, he can go.” The Captain said, still furious that he wasn’t going to be in prison. She walked over to the door, opening it up and waving for the interrogator to come into the viewing room with them. Once she said, they discussed their findings and what Henry had to say. Agreeing on all terms, the interrogator walked back into where Leon was and sat down. 

“Alright, Mr. Blanc. Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to have the institute come and take you, but you have to remain there for six months. Your ability will be negated by orders of the head doctor and you will need to go through the entire course. The Captain’s signed off for you to have parole once the six months are done. Though, if the doctors say you need to stay longer, you will remain there for as long as they need you to. They will not be releasing you early for any reason and if you need medical attention, they have a wing for that at the institute.” She explained, watching as an officer came in to unlock the cuffs before handing him a pen. The interrogator turned the folder she opened towards Leon. “This is the contract saying you have willingly given your statement and will receive reprimand if we should find out any part of it is false during our investigation. If so, you will be removed from the institute and put into prison. Please sign at the bottom with your actual name, not your alias.”

Leon looked to the paper, pen in hand as he shook with anxiety. If he signed this, he would be admitting he did something wrong. ‘Do it, you fool. This was all your fault and you know what you did. If you want to move on, sign it.’ He scolded himself mentally, signing the paper and dating it before dropping the pen to the table. His hands were in cuffs once more, his eyes back to the woman as he watched her close the folder and get up. She walked over to him, placing her hand on his shoulder and patting it gently. “I understand everything you’re feeling, but this is for your own good.” She told him, the only time she’d ever be empathetic towards him since she, herself, had watched many go through this process. Walking out of the room, she let the door shut behind her and the officer. Mischa and Quinn stayed into the viewing room, keeping an eye on him just in case he did anything that might be threatening to Castor. But, what they saw was Leon weeping silently, looking completely and utterly lost in his own mind recovering from madness.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #186: Nights of Wundagore!

August, 1979

And yet this issue features exactly zero Wundagore Knights. Missed opportunity is all I’m saying.

Also, we’re back to faces of varying degrees of pissed off and indifferent on the cover.

AND. WE LOST MINI-VISION WHO WAS ALWAYS IN THE LOGO! I didn’t notice but last issue didn’t have mini-Vision! Whether standing and pouting or phasing through the A and also pouting he’s been with us since... ISSUE 93!

CHANGE IS BAD!

Also bad is Wanda’s expression on the cover. This is nitpicky but the terror gape doesn’t work for her. I accept that she’ll end up in distress quite a lot and some of that distress will be for dumb reasons like Sentinels wanting to use her womb to kill all life on Earth.

But I think an expression like ‘fuck you and your wi-fi shirt’ would be more fitting. Its certainly more fitting to how she handles it within the comic. Which we’ll get to. As soon as I stop complaining.

...

So last time: after a mentally dubious old man entered their lives and tried to kidnap them by stuffing their souls into puppets, Wanda and Pietro (aka Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver) decided to willingly go with this attempted kidnapper back to Europe to find out if he’s their real dad or whatever. They thought their real dad was the Whizzer but if your dad called himself the Whizzer wouldn’t you entertain possibilities?

Shortly after arriving, Wanda was convinced by Modred, the Wi-Fi Wizard (not his real title) to come with him up a spooky mountain. He offered no reason for this so she followed him anyway. Inevitably, it turned out he had sinister motives and shot her in the back.

The following morning, Quicksilver went looking for Wanda but then fell down a mountain after bonking off an energy shield. It was, perhaps unintentionally, hilarious. He was rescued by Bova, the cow-woman nursemaid who helped birth him.

On the Avengers side of this Avengers book, through a sequence of events that were partially but not entirely Hawkeye’s fault, the Avengers lost their special government privileges and times were tough for a while. They finally managed to get them back but in exchange had to suffer the SJW agenda of Agent Henry Peter Gyrich who thinks that the Avengers should have an African-American on the roster. THE FIEND. The takeaway from this is that the Avengers are under the thumb of Gyrich and also Falcon is on the team. Yay, Falcon!

And now: “The most bizarre Avengers epic ever told!”

Which. I’m just going to go right ahead and state for the record. Unless it has someone marry a tree, second-place is the best it can get. I don’t care how much baby fraud is involved.

So. Quicksilver wakes up in the cabin of Bova who makes him some milk soup to help restore his strength.

I don’t want to know the level of making it involved. And damn you Mark Gruenwald, Steven Grant, and David Michelinie for specifically making it milk soup, thus raising the question.

Anyway. Some hot soup. He’ll need it to endure THREE PAGES OF EXPOSITION AND RETCON.

Bova is dropping some backstory truth bombs.

Starting with her own backstory. She was once a simple cow but then the High Evolutionary turned her into a cow woman because he was going to make a lot of genetically engineered animal human babies and as a busy science guy he wasn’t going to be raising these babies himself.

During a period while he was busy making anthropomorphic animals and perhaps causing Jessica Drew’s origin story, a pregnant refugee named Magda came to Wundagore.

She was fleeing a megalomaniac husband with strange powers and dreams of world conquest. Afraid that his madness would corrupt the children, she fled before he even found out she was pregnant.

Oh and lets not be vague, although the comic is.

MAGNETO MASTER OF MAGNET is Quicksilver’s new daddy.

Although since Bova herself never found that out neither does Quicksilver here.

Anyway, since Bova was in charge of all babies she made an executive decision to extend asylum to Magda. The High Evolutionary was busy doing science stuff with Jonathan Drew in the towers of Wundagore. He won’t mind.

Bova and Magda became close over the weeks so that when it came time to cow midwife for Magda “it was more privilege than duty.”

Weirdly, Wanda was a glowing baby, thus heralding the beginning of Quirks and the hero society!

No, no.

But it was a weird portent. Baby Wanda glowed just as the mountain was doing so. That probably bodes.

Oh, and then Magda died.

Not in childbirth, as you might suspect. No, she just packed up and wandered off into the snow to die some days after giving birth.

Because if she were alive Magneto might find her and find out that he had children.

Wait a damn minute.

Two kids. Evil dad. Mom dies. ... Did George Lucas rip off this story when making Revenge of the Sith?

I don’t think we can prove he didn’t.

Anyway. I GUESS Magda just assumed that Bova would take care of her children forever?

Joke’s on her.

Bova immediately goes to the High Evolutionary like ‘I have these two extra babies, what do?’

(Also weird bit of continuity here: the High Evolutionary is remarked as looking weary from some great conflict at this point in the story. Apparently during Magda’s stay in Wundagore, the High Evolutionary had been busy battling the demon Chthon alongside his Knights of Wundagore, eventually banishing the demon with the power of SCIENCE and ABOMINATIONS AGAINST NATURE. Of course this all happened because some jerk werewolf who killed Jessica Drew’s mom tried to use the Darkhold to cure his lycanthropy. What a jerk.)

Anyway, despite being tired from kicking demon ass, the High Evolutionary decided to help deal with all these extra babies. As long as he can do it in the laziest way possible that doesn’t involve child-endangerment.

So the High Evolutionary summoned Robert and Madeline Frank (the Whizzer and Miss America) who were visiting Transia while Madeline was pregnant.

Transia has unexpectedly high traffic for such a tiny Balkan nation.

The plan was that Bova would just sort of. Give the Franks two extra babies after Madeline gave birth. And. Hope she didn’t notice that two of these babies are several days old instead of newborns and also don’t question giving birth to triplets.

This is a good plan.

Unfortunately, radiation makes fools of us all. Remember how that was a thing that Madeline had accidentally been exposed to a ludicrous amount of radiation?

Her baby was born deformed and stillborn. And Madeline herself died shortly after birth.

Bova tried to make lemonade out of the situation by offering two healthy suspiciously not newborn babies to Robert Frank but as discussed in the previous and now fake origin for Wanda and Pietro, Robert Frank (aka the Whizzer) is really bad at dealing with grief.

He ran the fuck away, leaving behind two babies with a bemused cow-woman midwife.

So the High Evolutionary decided to get EVEN LAZIER (but still with zero child endangerment).

Forget shenanigans and baby shell games.

The High Evolutionary just went to a Roma (and no, not the word used) tribe camped nearby, went up to Django and Marya Maximoff and yelled HEY DO YOU WANT SOME FREE BABIES??

Since the Maximoffs had recently lost their own children Ana and Mateo they responded most logically to this floating, glowing, shouting pink armor man and accepted these free babies.

And that is the completely straightforward and completely accurate backstory for Wanda and Pietro that explains why they had memories of growing up in a Roma tribe, why the Whizzer thought that they were his kids, and why their secret parentage is much more exploitable for drama.

And now that everything is straight I’m sure this story will never change again or get more complicated.

Despite how simple this explanation is, Pietro finds it all hard to remember. Bova attributes that to the trauma of loss, believing his foster parents had died. Then again, the multiple concussions he must have suffered in the course of his superheroic career constantly running headfirst into stuff may have played a part.

Quicksilver brings up that despite all this explanation he still doesn’t know who his dad is.

Bova: “Then take my word that you know enough! Please!”

More importantly, Bova tells him to get his sister and then get the hell away from Wundagore. There’s danger afoot. Ahoof? No, she has hands and apparently feet. Afoot.

But when she learns that Wanda had disappeared, Bova fears that its already too late.

AND FINALLY after all that exposition and retcons (which don’t get me wrong, I loved. I don’t think its good storytelling, I think its a spaghetti nonsense, but its entertaining nonsense and that’s what matters to me) we finally get back to what Wanda is up to.

She was on the cover for pete’s sake!

Anyway, she’s jesusing over the altar and Darkhold, just as is suggested on the cover.

Modred, the Wi-Fi Wizard, reveals some choice deets about his own motivation and backstory.

Apparently he used to combat the Darkhold’s efforts to hold sway over the Earth but after battling Chthon in Marvel Chillers #2, Modred realized that the demon was an agent of destiny and dangit it was Modred’s destiny to help him achieve a new world order!

Modred, you suggestible fool, thinks Wanda, more or less.

Idiot or no, Modred’s magic is far stronger than Wanda’s barely trained efforts. She couldn’t even weaken his Bind Person spell with her level.

But she can cheat.

She uses her mutant probability altering powers to just sorta create a probability where the Hold Person spell just turns off.

To Modred’s irritation, she jumps off the floating Darkhold as she escapes the spell. Rude, Wanda.

Even though ‘the master’ has said she is not to be killed, nobody said anything about “the administration of discipline!” Which thankfully takes the form of magic bolts.

Wanda is able to hold him off with her own magic bolts but he’s still far stronger than her. That didn’t change just because I hit enter several times.

Even using her mutant power to create a sphere to repulse his bolts is for naught.

As her defenses fall, she begs Modred to stop.

Scarlet Witch: “A-all right! I believe you! J-just stop! Please -- stop!”

Modred: “Thou dost... yield? Verily, I be disappointed. I would have thought thou to be a more determined opponent.”

Scarlet Witch: “I am, Modred. I just realized that I can’t fight you on your level. But there are other levels. Like, for instance, what the mortals of this world call -- a roundhouse left!”

PAWNCH!

I gotta say. I love the trope of someone winning a magic duel by decking the other person in the face.

Unfortunately (for Wanda’s own peace of mind), she’s too good at punching. And punched Modred right off the damn mountain.

She laments having killed a person, even if millions of lives were saved by foiling the plans of Modred’s master.

And then Modred shoots her in the back. AGAIN.

He’s such a dick.

Modred rants at the unconscious witch that she was chosen at birth to be a vessel for his master’s second coming and the time of that rising is now.

Dammit Modred!

Later and also elsewhere, Quicksilver prepares to set back out.

He thanks Bova for the truth bombs and for fixing his costume. But now he must find Wanda before-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

GIANT SKY FACE

Ahem. Wanda is now an angry sky face. Or perhaps the entity now piloting Wanda.

She says she should kill him but she still has some human compassion from the previous owner.

So instead Possessed!Wanda just fires some warning eye lighting at Quicksilver telling him to gtfo or die.

Quicksilver wants to or die but Bova convinces him to go get outside help instead. Reluctantly, Quicksilver bows down to this ‘bovine logic.’

And yes the comic actually calls it that. How does bovine logic differ from people logic? Well in this case, the cow is smarter than the Quicksilver. Less impetuous anyway.

So Quicksilver runs down the mountain which is a lot less painful than falling down it but unexpectedly runs into Django Maximoff, the possibly dementia suffering old man who is Quicksilver’s foster father and really more of a father than Magneto ever was.

Honestly, its been changed so much that I don’t actually care about the Maximoff’s parentage. I’ve enjoyed Dadneto material, like him showing up for the most awkward thanksgiving dinner ever in the Vision and Scarlet Witch miniseries (the very same one where she gets magic pregnant). Him confessing to Finesse in Avengers Academy that the murder robots he used to send to murder Quicksilver for training reasons were actually programmed to take it easy on him. There’s good Dadneto material. I do get annoyed that Django gets brushed aside.

He’s the one who actually raised the twins but he’s not considered their ‘real’ dad because he doesn’t share DNA with them except I think the most recent retcon made it that he was the biological father but my point still stands.

Dadneto is fine. But remember Django Maximoff who did the hard parenting work that Magneto didn’t.

And let’s also remember Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, and Bail Organa. Who raised another set of important twins from a big, menacing villain.

But I digress.

Anyway, Django went looking for Quicksilver but decided to tarry in the forest. He’s always loved this forest. Its where he fled to when those villagers burned down his camp. He’s always felt safe here.

Cue the irony.

As the forest becomes animate almost, but not quite, entirely unlike Evil Dead, and captures Quicksilver and Django.

Quicksilver does the thing that speedsters do when bound. Vibrates super fast until the binding breaks.

He then runs around in a circle punching wood until Django is free, although the old man does complain that Quicksilver shouldn’t harm the wood. “It’s special! And it was so friendly before I... I don’t understand.”

Quicksilver ignores this and NYOOMS away with Django in his arms.

And then nature loses its shit. Or maybe Possessed!Wanda loses her shit on nature’s behalf.

There’s suddenly

STORMS. With LIGHTNING and a rain of fire and rocks and is Wundagore actually a volcano how does it just rain fire and rocks??

Oh there’s also earthquakes that open chasms that try to swallow up Quicksilver but he NYOOMS through all these dangers to arrive back at the village.

The post office has the only phone in town so Quicksilver pamb pambs on the door and asks to use it to make an emergency call to--

THE AVENGERS!

Remember, this is an Avengers book. Guest-starring the Avengers.

Broodmeister Vision is on monitor duty so he intercepts the call.

Elsewhere in the mansion, the Avengers are eating dinner and talking about Iron Man while he’s not there.

Demon in a Bottle is still concurrent and we’ve reached the part of the story where an armor malfunction caused Iron Man to accidentally manslaughter a foreign ambassador.

Needless to say, this caused a big stink and he’s currently under investigation until it can be proven that it was a malfunction.

While he’s gone, Captain America is acting chairman.

That’s why he gets to sit at the head of the table. Being chairman comes with perks.

Also, a sort of weird details is that if they have them, the Avengers take off their gloves to eat. I don’t know if that is weird. I don’t wear gloves constantly. But it looks weird. Without her gloves, Ms Marvel looks even more like she’s just wearing a swimsuit everywhere.

Anyway, Vision ghosts through the wall and tells them to belay that meal, there’s grave danger ahoof!

Vision: “Quicksilver just called, saying that Wanda has been possessed by some preternatural power -- causing her to wreak elemental destruction over an area of miles!”

Captain America orders everyone to doubletime to the Quinjet hanger but he gets countermanded.

By Agent Henry Peter Gyrich.

Who offers the reasons that 1) Quicksilver is not an active Avenger so they’re not obligated to give him the time of day, 2) there’s no proof that whatever is going on in Bulgaria is a threat to US security, and 3) come on guys, don’t just be flying where you like we don’t need another international incident like the one Iron Man caused. No, not killing the ambassador. ANOTHER international incident. The man is rolling in them.

Cap has had enough and stalks off to make a phone call.

And just one panel of Beast making implied threats towards Gyrich later, the agent receives a phone call.

He yells into the receiver that he’s not to be disturbed but WHOOPS just yelled at his boss.

Agent Henry Peter Gyrich: “That was the *ahem* Commander-in-Chief. He’s requested that the Avengers leave on a, uh, ‘good-will tour’ or Bulgaria. Right away. you can wipe that smirk off your face now, captain.”

It is quite an impressive smirk.

And wow. To think that Cap could just go over Gyrich’s head like that by calling Jimmy Carter.

I can only speculate that he didn’t do it until now because Gyrich was an asshole but had a point.

Anyway, Gyrich is still an asshole.

Out of spite or assholishness or spiteful assholishness, he demands that Vision stay at the mansion.

Because he is on the duty roster for monitor duty and per regulations someone must be on monitor duty at all times.

(I refuse to believe that this regulation is ever actually obeyed. The Avengers almost never leave someone at home)

Vision takes issue with this and offers to introduce Gyrich to punches but Cap stops him.

One punch and they could lose all those privileges that they’ve worked so hard off-panel to get back! And apparently Cap only has so many favors to call in with Jimmy Carter!

But he promises that the Avengers will find Wanda and take care of her.

Vision agrees but darkly promises that this matter will be settled.

And then he tries to take over the world. Well, not for years and under the influence of an alien supercomputer and probably not directly related to this. But I imagine that once he had taken over the government, he would have had Gyrich reassigned to Antarctica.

Meanwhile, six time zones away in Transia, Quicksilver worries that due to a bad connection the Avengers may not have understood his message.

And then he explodes.

Because Possessed!Wanda has found them.

Chthon!Wanda: “No, you old fool! For at least, I’ve purged this vessel of its last taint of humanity, it’s last wisp of soul! There is no Ana Maximoff! There is not Wanda Frank! Now, there is only... CHTHON!”

And Wanda has a new evil and thus sexy costume. Its actually kind of stylish.

Although one must wonder why a being like Chthon would even dress his host body up in an evil, sexy outfit. Maybe even demons are bound by the tropes of the genre.

Also, dammit Chthon! Bova just sewed up Quicksilver’s outfit and here you are blowing it to tatters again!

Have you no respect for the bovine logic of the cow-woman midwife!

You truly are heinous!

Next time: The call of the mountain THING!

Damn. That’s a great title.

Follow @essential-avengers. Its the dedicated sideblog for this series. Its... eventually going to be caught up.

[littledonkeyburrito]

I will wear jeans in hell

1. Do you think it’s rude when people speak slowly when talking to people that don’t know English well? No, it’s helpful, especially if the english speaking person has an accent the other person isn’t used to. I wish people would speak slower to me in spanish. The worst is when you ask them to speak slower and they repeat the exact same thing at the exact same speed. Speak slower but don’t be condescending.

2. What’s irritating you right now? My heater isn’t warm enough and my feet are cold.

3. Do you feel comfortable with answering personal questions? Depends on the question. I like telling stories about myself and my life but I don’t enjoy getting into emotions and stuff.

4. Would you ever sleep with someone to get a job? Depends on the job and who I have to sleep with.

5. Would you ever travel by yourself? I have, several times. And I will again at the end of the month when I go to Paris, although I’m hoping to be able to meet up with someone to go to Disneyland with.

6. When was the last time you consumed alcohol? I had a beer yesterday I think. Or maybe it was the day before, idk

7. When will you see your best friend next? January at the absolute earliest

8. Have you ever broken a bone? No

9. Would you introduce the last person you kissed to your parents? Sure, but not as my partner

10. Are any of your friends virgins? Yeah

11. Was your last kiss, standing up, sitting down, or laying down? Standing up

12. If you could seek revenge on someone would you? There was one person I was pretty cranky at for a while but I don’t care anymore.

13. What plans do you have for tomorrow? No plans. I would go grocery shopping but tomorrow is sunday so everything will be closed.

14. What time did you wake up? I woke up to construction sounds and got annoyed because it was way too early for that kind of noise but I looked at my phone and it was 11:30. Still went back to sleep for another hour though.

15. Have you ever found a bug in your food? I have this one memory as a kid I had had a sleepover at my friend’s house and in the morning we were having breakfast in his dad’s cafe next door and I got pancakes and there was a wasp in it. I didn’t actually care, I ate around it.

16. What is most of your junk email from? Currently mostly from Dick Smith and a job search website

17. Do you have any upcoming appointments? what for? Flight at the end of the month. Does that count?

18. Would you be content to turn out just like your mom? Very much so, my mother is an amazing woman.

19. What is one skill you would like to have, but don’t want to work towards? Probably something super boring like knowing how to be an accountant or something. It would be useful to have for jobs and stuff but so boring to actually achieve.

20. Do you have letters of the alphabet that you like? Which ones? Not in english, but in spanish I like ñ because I like drawing the squiggle and also x because it’s pronounced differently depending which country you’re in.

21. If you could pick one topic for everyone in your country to learn more about, what would you pick? For australia, human rights and ethics so that they can start treating aboriginals and asylum seekers with a bit more respect.

22. How do you feel about people your age having children? I just don’t understand why

23. When was the last time you were at a park? Probably sometime when I was in panama. I don’t think I’ve been in a park since I’ve been back

24. Could you fall asleep right now if you tried? Wish I could, but no. Otherwise I’d be in bed.

25. Do you feel like going to funerals helps you in the grieving process? I have never been to one so I don’t know.

26. Who was the last person you heard snore? Panama guy

27. Do you think it’s possible for an 18 year old to be ready to get married? I think you should experience the real world before you commit to something like marriage. But hey, to each their own.

28. Have you ever had a dream about someone on tv, or a show? What happened? Yeah many times but the dream that comes to mind I had while I was in Colombia. I dreamt that I was on a yacht making out with Henry Cavill.

29. Have you ever taken a nap in an unusual or especially uncomfortable place, i.e. on top of your keyboard, under a table, etc? When I was at uni I would curl up in the bay window at the end of the aisle in the library and nap in the sunbeam. I have slept in trains and buses on terribly bumpy roads. I can even sleep on planes now. I’ve definitely napped on some floors, maybe head down on some tables too. Look, I just really like sleep okay and I can always do with a nap when I travel.

30. What was the scent of the last lotion you used? It was just one from the grocery store. It has argon oil in it which I assume gives it a certain smell.

31. Do you have any strange co-workers? I don’t currently work but there were a few weirdos at my old job.

32. When was the last time you had a headache? No idea, I don’t get headaches very often and if I do they’re minor so I wouldn’t remember anyway

33. Is anyone jealous of you? I hope so. Half the reason I use instagram is to make everyone I went to highschool with jealous of my current life.

34. What was the last thing you had to mentally prepare yourself for? that would have been for quitting that telemarketing job.

35. What’s something you’re currently dreading? Not finding a job and having to organise a move back to australia

36. If your living space could smell like anything in the world, but it would ALWAYS smell that way and you could never change it, what would you choose for it to smell like? I don’t know. Maybe citrus, or baked goods?

37. What’s something you wish were taught when you were in school? Actual life skills.

38. How would you describe your sense of humor? Varied. But mostly I like goofy, wholesome humour where nobody is the butt of the joke and nobody gets hurt.

39. Do you ever notice other people’s body language when you’re speaking with them? Sometimes

40. Is there a meal you simply cannot eat if it’s missing something (a salad without croutons, a sandwich without cheese, etc)? No..? I’ll eat just about anything

41. Is there something that other people see/hear and automatically think of you? You would have to ask those other people

42. Do you ever just feel like you need to be alone for some reason? Yeah, I often prefer to be alone when I’m at home. It stresses me out to have someone in my space for too long.

43. If you got paid $5 per survey you made, could you make a living just doing that? I probably could but it would old really quick

44. When was the last time you wore something totally inappropriate for the weather? Does this happen often? Every day in central america because I always wear jeans.

45. The last time you went out of the house, where were you going and what did you do? I was going to the corner store probably.

46. Do you have a friend that has a tendency to “dump” you whenever they get a new partner? One friend did that for a while. He would stop hanging out with me whenever he started dating someone. But then he got a long term boyfriend and got better about managing his time between his partner and his friends.

47. Would you ever want to go on vacation with just one of your parents? I have travelled a few times with my mum. I get a little frustrated travelling with dad though.

48. In summer, do you prefer to wear dresses or shorts and tops? Or maybe something else? I will wear jeans in hell

49. Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? I just want milk that tastes like real milk

50. How many cans of soda would you say you drink in a week, if any at all? When I lived in australia I had a can of pepsi max a day bc it was my caffeine hit for work. Now I buy a 2L bottle of coke zero maybe once a week. Probably works out about the same tbh

51. When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? I live alone so I get the whole place to myself. I only spend time in my bed/bedroom for sleep

52. If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? Ugh my dad was so annoying about that. I was a nigthshift worker and yet he still found it weird that I preferred to sleep in to any time after 10am. Like, dude, I only go to bed at 7am. There’s no way in hell I’m getting up any time before 2pm. Now my brother works those hours and I’m sure he gets the same crap from dad.

53. How much stuff do you take with you when you go on vacation for a week? If it’s warm weather, I can pack for a week in my backpack and won’t have to do laundry. Cooler weather is harder because I have to pack layers and a jacket. But I still plan on only taking my backpack for my 4 night stay in Paris.

54. How old is your oldest living relative? My grandad is 88 in a couple of months

55. Could you willingly live on a vegan diet? I wouldn’t want to.

56. If you’re a fan of Harry Potter, are you sad that there’ll never be another book or movie? There will definitely be remakes in my lifetime.

57. If you’re an only child, do you wish you had siblings? If you have siblings, do you get along? My brother and I don’t get along. We’re better now that we’re both adults but we’re definitely not friends.

58. How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? About a year and a half. I actually bought it to take on my trip to india. I wanted loose long sleeve shirts to keep the sun off me but not overheat me too much.

59. Are you a slut? Idk, maybe sometimes.

60. What happened last time you got drunk? I drank at home and watched Star Wars. That was it.

61. What do you want right this second? Kinda need to go to the bathroom tbh

62. How are you sitting? Sprawled out on my sofa

63. Did you sleep alone last night? Yeah

64. Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? Yeah

65. What were you doing last night at midnight? I think I was playing the sims

66. Will you have sexual intercourse within the next two weeks? Probably not

67. How many cigarettes have you smoked today? None, I don’t smoke

68. Do you like potato chips? Yeah

69. Do you think you are pregnant? I definitely am not

70. You’ve had sex within these past 10 days haven’t you? Ha! I wish

71. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? I do

72. What were you doing this morning at 5:30? Sleeping

73. What were you doing 2 hours ago? Watching netflix

74. Do you like the ocean? Yes

75. How many windows are open on your computer? One window, 5 tabs.

76. Do you know anyone named Matt? I have 2 Matts on facebook.

77. When was the last time you talked to a sibling? Was emailing with my brother a few days ago

78. How late did you stay up last night and why? Went to bed around 1am. Didn’t get to sleep until ~5

79. Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii? Ooh tough choice. I think maybe greece but I’d also like to visit hawaii at some point. Although tbh neither of them are super high on my list. Top trip I want to do is all of latin america from Mexico to Argentina. Also want to hit up Madagascar. 

80. What color is your underwear right now? Navy blue

81. How is the weather right now? Cold.

82. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Yes but there’s nobody I want to ask out

83. Have you ever fired a gun? No.

84. Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car? Depends where/how far I’m going and how much it’ll cost.

85. Do you like to cuddle? Sometimes

86. Do you need to get anything from the store right now? If so, what, and why? I need groceries. But it’ll have to wait until monday.

87. Have you ever had to take a stool or urine test? Why did you have to do this? Urine test a few times. 1) drug tests for work, 2) while I was doing a medical trial a few years ago, 4) routine std check 3) got a UTI :/

88. Is there a food you eat that others find weird or gross? Some people think vegemite is weird and gross but those people are wrong. Also some people don’t understand how I can eat so much chilli.

89. The last video game you played - did you play alone or with someone else? I played Mass Effect 2 earlier today, alone.

90. . If there is a disc in your computer, what disc is it? Sims 3 Supernatural.

91. Do you shut down your computer every time after you use it, or do you leave it on? I just put it to sleep.

92. Do people ever drive down your street really slowly? Does it creep you out? Anyone who decides to drive down my street has already made a mistake. There is no possible way to do it quickly. It takes time and a person guiding you so that you don’t scrape down the sides of your car. This is a pedestrian street.

93. Do you live in a very diverse community? Yes, this is a pretty multicultural city

94. Did you waste your first kiss, or did it mean something to you? Do you think that people should save their first kisses just like their virginity? It meant something to me at the time, I don’t care now. People can do whatever they want with regards to their first kiss or their virginity.

95. Do you know anyone who has had salmonella? Did you ever have it yourself? What about e coli? One of my work friends got salmonella and it hit while she was on shift. I was at the other end of the site and could hear the conversation between her and the then-supervisor over the radio. It actually messed up her immune system and she kept getting colds and flu more often for about a year after that.

96. How many weeks of summer do you have left before you have to go back to school? 1) I don’t go to school, 2) It’s not summer

97. Who was the last member of your extended family to visit? Where were they visiting from? My Dad visited me back in May. That was the last family member I saw.

98. When was the last time you went on a train? Where were you going? Whenever I last went grocery shopping I’d have gotten the metro there and back. Last long distance train would have been to Castellón to get my yellow fever shot before I went to Colombia.

[justanotherthrowaway1950]

Why It Makes Sense No One Wants to Help Azula

A lot of people when watching ATLA, or reading the post-Sozin’s Comet comic books, bemoan the fact that no one really wants to help Azula, who, underneath the outward exterior of snark, smugness, and exuberant confidence, is someone who is well aware that she is a bad person, but wishes that it did not have to be the case, especially after after Zuko, Mai, Ty Lee, and Ozai “abandon” her, and thus she had to face the consequences of her actions.

For if she just had a rescue parent or even a friend who won’t ever give up on her, as people often say, she could have either dealt with the emotions and thoughts she had repressed so long and not fallen into long-term madness, or, even if her childhood schizo-???? disorder manifested, she could have learned how to deal with it while also becoming a much healthier and better person than what she ended up becoming in the comics.

Especially since it seems pretty clear, at least in my opinion, that Azula emulated Ozai and fully bought into his toxic ideologies and beliefs due to feeling she had no choice due to being the fire princess and not wanting to end up like Zuko (burned and banished by Ozai after spending his life being verbally abused by Ozai), Iroh (lost his birthright and nation's respect due to being “soft”), Azulon (Azula is way too smart to not have realized at one point that Azulon was most likely killed by Ozai and/or Ursa), Lu Ten (died presumably due to doing his “duty” to his nation, something that Ozai would mostly likely make Azula do in the future as well, but not having enough martial prowess to survive), or Ursa (banished or killed as far as Azula knew).

However, as sad as it sounds, it makes complete sense that no one wants to help Azula.

For part of the problem is that, at the very least, she is coded as suffering from schizophrenia or something of that nature, which requires actual antipsychotics (as far as I know) to treat the symptoms, and therefore it seems highly unlikely that the fantasy equivalent of 19th century Asia is going to be able to treat such symptoms without the necessary medication, especially when IRL 21st century Asia, or humanity in general, can't do so despite having way more mental health knowledge than the humans in ATLA.

And while Azula is attractive, and thus might on paper be able to attract someone willing to “fix” her (yes, I know this trope is toxic, but there is a point I am trying to make), The Beach showed that, despite said attractiveness, her personality makes her so revolting that no one would be around her willingly.

And before before people say, “Ty Lee willingly choose to spend time with Azula at Chan’s party,” that can easily be explained by Ty Lee being harassed by boys, and thus wanting to be next to a “friend” so the boys at the party would stop trying to get with her, especially since Zuko and Mai weren't nearby and Ty Lee at that point knows that Azula is boy repellent.

Also, let's be real now, if Azula was real and we didn’t have the benefit of the third person omniscient view that we as viewers have, would you want to interact with her any more than you have to? Well, I don’t think so, explaining why no one really makes an effort to help Azula in the time period post-Sozin’s Comet, but pre-The Search, despite Azula hitting her lowest point, and thus being most receptive to change in addition to being safely restrained with no political power whatsoever.

For Iroh thinks she is crazy, and in the Legacy of The Fire Nation blames her for her own abuse and her response to it.

Zuko, while he does put her in asylum and doesn't get her bending removed, even assuming Aang was willing to take Azula’s bending in the first place, is fine with never checking up on her until he needs her to extract intel from Ozai about Ursa’s possible location.

Ozai is in jail for life, and besides, it was not like he was the reason why she ended up the way she did. No, not all all…

All of the Gaang except for Aang see her as the devil and want her locked away for good. 

Meanwhile, Aang is too busy helping rebuild the world after a hundred years of war to engage in the intensive and very long meditation/therapy Azula needs. Not to mention, Aang helping Azula assumes that Katara would allow Aang within lightning blast range without a sizable contingent, or the rest of the Gaang around, which is a little too much for one to believe considering the anger Katara has towards Azula for killing Aang as depicted in The Bridge.

In regards to Mai and Ty Lee, Azula bullied them, turned them into child soldiers against their will, put their loved ones in danger multiple times, and when they finally stood up for themselves and/or their loved ones, were put in jail for life by Azula. So why would they want to help, in the rosiest interpretation of their relationship, their life-long frenemy who already forsook them first, or, in the harshest interpretation of their relationship, their life-long abuser who they think no longer has any redeeming qualities, if she ever had them?

Lo and Li are missing in action after the events of Sozin’s Comet and probably wouldn’t help even if they weren’t considering they were Azula’s secondary abusers after all.

The other world leaders, including the White Lotus, hate her, view her as a threat, and probably disprove of Zuko and Aang's leniency towards her.

And in regards to the rest of the Fire Nation, including the general population, they seem to only care about serving the crown, so it is not like they would care to break her out and risk the wrath of their Fire Lord and a fully realized Avatar. Especially once word spread of her breakdown, the banishments she issued during said breakdown, and the fact that she lost to her weaker, traitorous brother and a snow peasant during Sozin’s Comet. 

For does the Fire Nation in the early years of the post-war era seem like the type of place to be understanding of mental health issues, and how the circumstances behind Azula’s mental deterioration would break most, if not all, children?  Or would they be the type of place to shame for her mental illness and resulting “weakness”, and therefore treat her like a broken tool, even after praising her as a war hero not even a couple months ago?

And once we get into the comic storylines that involve Azula, it becomes even more painfully clear that no one wants to help Azula, and that no one really cares for Azula.

For Mai and Ty Lee have rightfully disavowed her, especially since Azula, as of current canon, has never shown any contrition towards them, and Azula decided to kidnap Tom Tom as part of a spirit larp motivated by Mai’s nightmares as child in an apparent attempt, at least partially, to get back at Mai for her “betrayal".

Ursa doesn't seem to show that much care outside of a short conversation with Zuko as they are sailing back to the palace and when she finally gets to berate Ozai after all the years of torment he put her through, which sadly makes sense. And this is because for most of Ursa’s time with Azula, she probably saw Azula, and not Zuko, as the successful result of Azulon’s eugenics experiment that had caused Azulon to have her kidnapped and forcibly bred by Ozai.

Or in other words, Ursa most likely, at least subconsciously, sees Azula as basically the reason why her life went to hell. And why would anyone want to help someone who is basically responsible for your life becoming a nightmare, even if it is your daughter in Ursa’s case?

The Gaang outside of Aang thinks she's a psycho, something that is not helped when they, with their limited as hell mental health knowledge, have to deal with Azula’s actions caused her hallucinations and delusions, including her attempted murder of Noriko. And Aang, again, is way too busy to actively help Azula.

Ozai only sees her as a tool to facilitate his return to power, hence why he told her about the “bastard” letter since he was probably hoping Azula would use it start a civil war after she either made sure that Ursa was no longer alive or killed her, eliminating the one person who could credibly say the letter is a lie.

Her fellow cosplayers Fire Warriors are already losing patience with her, as evidenced by Zirin’s annoyance with Azula’s mass kidnapping plan, and will probably leave Azula like everyone else does once they realize that Azula’s plan basically turned them into seditious, child kidnapping, domestic terrorists for no apparent benefit other than to stroke her ego and mask her lingering insecurities.

And while Zuko outwardly says that he wants to help Azula, I don’t think that is the case since, even if the characters say they believe in certain things, what they do in practice is what we should use to judge them since actions are greater than words.

And what do Zuko’s actions say?

Well, when pushed to his limit, which causes people to express their true feelings, Zuko blames her for everything bad that occurred in his life, like the real reason why his early life was so shitty wasn’t due to Ozai and Azulon.

Even after agreeing to Azula’s terms to go on the search for Ursa, Zuko never once thinks to ask Azula’s asylum healers what her symptoms are like, what might trigger them (cough*Ursa*cough), and what might he do to make sure Azula doesn’t slip. 

And this pattern of negligence continues even after Zuko finds out about her bonkers plan to remold him into Ozai 2.0, despite the fact that if he actually took the time to investigate Azula’s treatment, and thus why it went wrong, not only would he have found out about the Fire Warriors escaping, but also would have found out about the abusive nature of the asylum, and how it was behind comics!Azula’s deteriorated mental state, thus giving him a chance to get Azula the help she needs once she is back in custody.

Finally, as a general point, if it was a mentally ill Katara that ran off into Forgetful Valley, what do you think the Gaang would have done? If it was a mentally ill Suki that ran off into the Forgetful Valley, what do you think the Kyoshi Warriors, Ty Lee, and/or Mai would have done? If it was a mentally ill Iroh that ran off into the Forgetful Valley, what would Zuko and Ursa have done? 

Well, I feel pretty confident in saying that they would not settle for a half assed search where they didn't get Toph, and her OP, miles wide seismic sense, and/or June and her shirshu to search the valley. Especially considering the last time anyone saw Azula, she was deep in a psychotic breakdown and did not seem in the right mental shape to survive in the wilderness, let alone a valley noted for its dangerousness like the Forgetful Valley. 

(Though I admit the above argument assumes that a psychotic Azula was not good enough to avoid detection by Toph or June’s shirshu, or that she was not able to escape the Forgetful Valley before Zuko could call for more help.)

But to wrap things up, it makes complete sense why no one wants to help Azula, and thus she will never be able to redeem herself. For who the hell is going to be her rescue parent or friend who will never give up on her? 

For the only reason why Zuko, who was subjected to similar, if not worse, abuse and indoctrination, was able to redeem himself was because he had arguably the GOAT parental figure in Western Animation give him unconditional love and guidance, even after he helped put him in jail for life. 

But alas, that same figure thinks Azula is crazy, and Azula’s relationship with her mother is too fucked up for Ursa to serve that role. 

And while maybe someone from the White Lotus could have stepped in, it would have already happened in the year to two years she spent in the asylum. But it didn't, and now most likely will never happen. And no one else, other than Aang, who due to his Avatar duties can’t give Azula the help she needs, would work because she would view them below her station, and thus wouldn’t be receptive to their help, and/or they despise her. 

Thus, while it is sad, the reality of Azula’s situation is that no one really cares for her, or at least not enough to help her. And while maybe in some future version of the Fire Nation, their version of CPS could have stepped in and removed Ozai and Azulon from her life before they really damaged her, the sad reality is that she lives in the fantasy equivalent of 19th century Asia. 

Hence, why I believe that Azula’s story will continue to be a tragedy short of Azula miraculously turning herself around or one or more characters, preferably Ursa and/or Iroh, having a change of heart. And why I think ATLA viewers will have to live the grim reality that the conclusion to Azula’s story will most likely not be a happy one.

[lakeshorehauntings]

Reactions and Conclusions

After the investigations, my goal was to convince at least one of my friends  that ghosts are real and they exist on my campus. I messaged four different people, a blend of believers and non-believers, and my results were pretty successful.

Let’s see what the first had to say.

First up is Mitch, a 5 year friend and long-time skeptic of the supernatural;

Alt text:

Hazel: do you believe in ghosts Mitch: No wtf you know this Hazel: okay yeah i do im just confirming i need you to read something Mitch: Oh boy Here we go Ur not gonna change my mind just letting you know Hazel: lakshorehauntings.tumblr.com i want your GENUINE ass thoughts on this pls n thank u [smiling emoji] Mitch: That’s some uh SPOOGY SHIT! Imma be real I even took the ghost tours there and I felt absolutely fucking nothing mate Hazel: okay, yeah, but that was in a group with people around Mitch: so? Ghosts are gonna wait until I’m alone???? Hazel: bro if you were a ghost would you willingly walk up to a group of people like no you cant do that shit now, alive Mitch: I hate you bye Hazel: but do you think the campus is possibly haunted after everything you just saw Mitch:Yeah okay Listen buddy I dont believe in ghosts but like Yeah thats kinda fucked up

Excellent… 1/5 on my side, I’m feeling pretty good about this. Next is another long time friend, Rebecca a believer in the supernatural. Can she be convinced the campus is haunted?

Alt text:

Hazel: hey girl do you believe in ghosts? Rebecca: i literally do Hazel: LIT OKAY i want your GENUINE ass thoughts on this pls n thank lakeshorehauntings.tumblr.com ☺️ Rebecca: the creepiest part is the running around at 3am that is literally so fucking creepy

Next up is my mum, an avid ghost disbeliever and somebody I love very dearly,

Alt text:

Hazel: mum do you believe in ghosts Mum:No not reqlly Really  Hazel: okay, can you read my blog http://lakeshorehauntings.tumblr.com and let me know what you have to say about all that Mum: Ok. Theres grammar issues in your friends anecdotes Hazel: okay, likely yes what about the supernatural content  Mum: All things a non believer as myself could logically explain away Hazel: how can you explain both of us hearing the same thing with the womans voice and chairs moving in regards to the final video where i talk about my experience Mum: As you said,you were both tired, it was late Hazel: but we both heard the same thing you gotta admit thats at least a little freaky Mum: Yes it is

Okay so she’s not exactly on board….. but she certainly isn’t denying that its a little freaky…. And truthfully I agree with that; it’s very freaky even if it were just a coincidence.

I asked a close coworker of mine who I know to be very spiritually in-tune what she thought of the content I’ve curated above.

Alt text:

Hazel: hey do you believe in ghosts?  Samantha: I’ve never had a paranormal encounter, even living in the apartment my Dad passed away in... but I do believe people when they say they have seen ghosts Im more spiritual. Like I think people leave behind an energy, and it can be a good or bad one depending on if they crossed over peacefully  Hazel: omg sick. okay can you read this blog and tell me if you think the campus is haunted based on this blog http://lakeshorehauntings.tumblr.com Samantha: Okay sure I’ll read it  Hazel: sicksick thank you Samantha: Wow that last story was so wack. Gave me chills :/

Of the four people I messaged, only one of them was fully converted but everybody agrees that the stories are pretty creepy, so I count that as a success.

Overall the blog was probably one of the most fun assignments I’ve done this year, and I really loved learning about the history of my school. Hearing about what the patients were put through within the walls of the campus really makes me grateful for how far we as a society have come in acceptance of mental illness.

After this assignment I plan to visit the asylum cemetery on Horner and Islington to pay my respects to the ives lost within the asylum, and to thank them for going through what they did to pave the way for where we are today.

[hellyeahsupermanandwonderwoman]

in terms of diana being in a mental facility, it was so she could recover from a mental breakdown and she is back on her feet after a few weeks now. wile it could have been written better i feel it wasn't that bad of a plot point

It is a terrible plot point. It was a plot to undermine previous canon. Not a thoughtful plot to explore the difficult issues surrounding having a mental disorder and even looking at how people can be helped etc. I felt it was just a cheap  way  to undo new 52 Diana by presenting psychiatry in the most cliched way.

You don’t suffer a mental break down and come back out in a few weeks. Mental health issues is not a broken bone. First, what “mental breakdown” are we talking here? PTSD? Acute psychotic episode? The onset of a psychosis or affective disorder? Clinical depression with psychotic features? Fugue state? She had delusions. She couldn’t recall who she was. She was hallucinating,  She was confused, sad, anxious. I can’t say to what extent she was on the verge of harming herself or others

It takes a while to diagnose and treat an illness with the above symptoms. If you are admitted into hospital in England, you  can do so willingly or not.  If not, ie against your will they have to use the law, the Mental Health Act to assess and find good reasons to take in a person against their will eg a threat to themselves or others and require assessment and or treatment. You can be detained for up to 28 days and after that even up to 6 mths . To be put into hospital against your will it can be applied for by the nearest relative or an approved mental health professional.  You have to be assessed by a clinical team which includes a psychiatrist to be detained. 

when you enter a facility you are seen by a doctors, meet your nurses, and a plan of care is drawn up. An assessment of risk if also done. If Diana was at risk of self harm…being put in a padded cell by yourself is damn backward shit. It does not happen like that. 

Singing nursery rhymes by yourself is not a reason to be dumped in a padded cell. And what kind of facility was this? An modern day psychiatric intensive care unit where they manage  high risk patients? Or a facility 50 years ago? A normal acute psychiatric ward does not look like that. Having “some concerns about self harm” is not reason to dump her in a cell. Did she try to cut her self? Again no reason to do that. If a patient has suicidal ideas they are put on levels of observation. They are observed either within arms length, or line of vision depending how intense the urge to act out on the thoughts are. To do this you have staff interacting and communicating with clients. Having a member of staff there can be intrusive yes but it is way more compassionate and  the duty of care to the patient is paramount. Of course if it is a female patient you try to take into consideration personal needs and boundaries  ie provide a female member of staff etc. The patient is allowed to interact with other patients. Never isolated. The level of risk to harm herself has to be very high ie she could look to use any and everything in her sight to kill herself not even a nurse with her could prevent it. 

Bear in mind facilities like this would be very careful to not give suicidal patients access to tools to harm themselves. Patients are searched, risky items give back to relatives, etc. If it is an intensive care unit, things like cutlery is counted and secured by staff. But even then intensive care units in England are not like old asylums where you isolate patients. Good grief, modern day psychiatry is not like this. Patients are allowed to interact in communal areas. It is not a forensic unit. 

Diana comes across as a quiet, docile patient. And even if you sing / talk to your self or respond to auditory/visual hallucinations…again no damn reason to lock anyone up in a cell.

Illness like this doesn’t resolve itself overnight. And  if it is deemed you take treatment, then you have take it and with treatment comes possibly dealing with side effects of medication etc. Some medication don’t take full efficacy for weeks or mths. And it depends on your diagnosis. A “mental break down” is not a diagnosis.If Diana was being manipulated by external forces the hospital staff are not going to know this. They will deal what is being presented to them and the person hospitalized will feel the impact.

Some people might think…why so serious…it’s just comics. It serves the purpose ie make her life a delusion. 

I feel  it is trite and lazy and presents mental health incorrectly and adds to backward stereotypes. Mental health already has to deal with enough stigma and misconceptions as it is. 

Rucka wanted to write his Year One Diana. Then do it. Don’t try to be all deep when all you’re doing is a retcon in the most convoluted manner.

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Londerland Bloodlines/Tell Me Where To Find Shelter -- Layers of Alice

Okay, I said that I wanted to do this meme for Alice back when I did it for Victor, and I FINALLY completed it. Reason it took so long? Well, I did it for BOTH my Malkavian!Alice’s -- the standard one from “Londerland Bloodlines,” and the one that I felt the need to jam into “Tell Me Where To Find Shelter.” And it took me longer than I thought to nail down some of the favorites. . .

Anyway. Here’s the completed meme. Anything that applies to a specific version of Alice, I have designated with either LB Alice or TMWTFS Alice.

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

- Name: Alice Pleasance Liddell

- Eye Color: Green

- Hair Style/Color: Very dark brown, practically black – though it used to be a lot lighter. If Alice had a picture of herself as a child on hand, she could prove she used to be practically a redhead. She thinks age and so much time spent in an asylum is what caused it to darken the way it did. At any rate, it's about shoulder length, a bit shaggily-cut, and she tends to wear it loose, parted in the middle. If she needs it out of the way, she'll put it up in a ponytail.

- Height: Five feet, five inches

- Clothing style: For everyday wear, Alice tends to be very practical – simple, easily-cleaned tops; sturdy pants or skirts; and solid boots or a good pair of running sneakers. But she will confess that she's a sucker for a pretty dress (as anyone who could look inside her head when she's in Wonderland could attest to), and if given the chance will happily flounce around in a full skirt. Her go-tos tend to be in darker colors – blacks and browns don't show stains as well, after all. If she's dressing up, though, she'll go with something brighter, or at least work in some pops of color.

TMWTFS Alice, post-War, scavenges whatever jeans and shirts she can find, along with whatever armor might fit – she's can see how dangerous the Commonwealth is, and even if she's a lot harder to kill than your average settler, she wants to be prepared! She does take a couple of pretty dresses, though – and in my world, there's a Mistress of Mystery dress to go with the Silver Shroud costume that she grabs from Hubris comics. Victor finds it very – distracting.

- Best physical feature: Alice would say her eyes – people seem to find them pretty attractive, and she herself likes the shade of green they are.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

- Fears: Fire (comes with just barely surviving a house fire); losing those she cares about (also because of the aforementioned fire); being mind-controlled (thank you, Bumby and LaCroix); losing control of her Beast (because it's the decapitation-happy Queen of Hearts in her head and that would be bad on a number of levels)

- Guilty pleasure: Drinking from humans – Alice tries to be pragmatic about it, and does her best to obtain some form of consent before she does it (unless it's a battle situation – you're trying to kill her, anything goes), but she can't help but feel bad sometimes that she enjoys sucking the blood out of people's necks. The fact that they enjoy it too mitigates it a bit, but. . .

- Biggest pet peeve: People making jokes about her name, or not believing she's actually named "Alice Liddell." TMWTFS Alice is actually somewhat relieved when it transpires the post-War world doesn't remember "Alice in Wonderland" well enough to make fun of her.

- Ambitions for the future: LB Alice just wants to keep up her peaceful existence in Hill Valley, protecting her loved ones and avoiding other vampires and vampire politics as much as possible.

TMWTFS Alice wants to help the Minutemen and the Railroad with their operations and continue adjusting to life after the nuclear apocalypse. Happily, she has a much easier time avoiding vampire politics, mostly because they don't exist anymore. (Kindred – did not do well after the nukes fell.)

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

- First thoughts waking up: Depends on the situation and how thirsty she is – if she's calm and sated, it'll be something along the lines of, "okay, nightfall – what's the most pressing activity I can think of?" If there's danger afoot, it'll be closer to "crap, okay, where's that sword of mine?" And if she's hungry, it'll be something like, "Closest source of blood is?"

- What they think about most: How best to keep herself existing, and keep the people she cares about safe. LB Alice of course has her little polycule, plus Lizzie and Bonejangles; TMWTFS Alice's main priority is Victor, but she likes most of his friends well enough to want to look out for them too. (I imagine she gets along well with Preston, Piper, and Nick in particular.) Keeping herself properly sated is also a common concern for her – it's not so bad for LB Alice, who has willing ghouls to donate, but TMWTFS Alice has to factor in the radiation levels of her prey. She's pretty sure she's immune, but she doesn't want it to turn into a "plaguebearer" situation. . .and if she isn't immune, well. . .

- What they think about before bed: LB Alice generally just reviews her day and tries to make a few plans for the next one, if she's not plopping into bed just before sunrise. TMWTFS Alice is typically looking for the safest place to go to bed – her "sunlight allergy" means she needs a well-protected shelter, and even after that's eventually taken care of, she wants to sleep somewhere relatively out of danger!

- What they think their best quality is: Her ability to survive whatever the world throws at her – I mean, no matter the verse, this girl's been through some shit. Yes, it takes her longer to recover from some things than others, but the world has yet to get her down permanently, and she intends to keep it that way.

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

- Single or group dates: Alice would actually not mind going out as a group as a first date – while she's not really a fan of crowds, she'd feel safer with more people around in case her date turned out to be an asshole. Once a connection is made and she's comfortable, she'd prefer single dates, so they don't have to worry about anyone but each other.

- To be loved or respected: Alice would choose respected, especially with her memories of being a fledgling in LA! She does not like people talking down to her or ordering her about.

- Beauty or brains: Brains – Alice can enjoy a pretty face on an aesthetic level, but in a partner, she wants someone she can talk to. Being gray-ace probably has a bit to do with that.

- Dogs or cats: Cats, definitely. She grew up with cats, she befriended a cat in the asylum, she followed a cat the day she plunged back in Wonderland and started discovering just what it was Bumby was up to. . .cats all the way. Of course, finding cats that like her back can be tricky when you're a vampire who gives off an "unnatural" vibe animals tend to pick up on. . .but I like to think both Malkavian!Alices eventually find a pet. In TMWTFS Alice's case, Victor likely traps one for her, and luckily its one not bothered by her Kindred nature. :)

LAYER FIVE: DO THEY?

- Lie: Definitely. Usually to protect herself or her loved ones. And as long as the Masquerade has to be upheld, she's always lying at least a little bit to the average person on the street. (TMWTFS Alice is relieved when that particular lie can be dropped!)

- Believe in themselves: It's a bit of a "fake it until you make it" situation with Alice – she does her best to believe in herself and her abilities, but she still struggles sometimes with self-loathing and survivor's guilt and all that fun stuff.

- Believe in love: Believe it exists? Sure – her parents had a very happy marriage while they were alive. Believe she can find it? Not until she realizes she's falling for Victor – which means LB Alice believes in it for herself a lot sooner than TMWTFS Alice!

- Want someone: LB Alice, though she gets Lizzie back, would still like to have her parents returned to her. Her sister is awesome, but she's still only one part of the family Alice lost. She also wants Victor after getting to know him more, and feels guilty as hell about it for a long while because of the whole "accidental ghouling and blood-blonding" thing. And then Victoria and Emily enter the picture, and things get even more confusing. . .at least with those three, she gets everyone she wants!

TMWTFS Alice wants her whole family back – going more canon for her Bloodlines adventures means she doesn't even get Lizzie, poor thing. :( She knows it's basically impossible, but she does still miss them. And, again, she ends up wanting Victor after getting to know him. Fortunately, she gets him.

LAYER SIX: EVER?

- Been on stage: Never in a professional capacity – just in the "nearly executed in front of an audience of vampires after her illegal Embrace" one. Oh, and being an extra in a school play once.

- Done chems/drugs: Never willingly – she was subjected to a few "experimental medications" while in Rutledge to help her catatonic state, none of which worked (though fortunately none of which left truly permanent damage either). And if she's not careful about who she feeds on, she can get a high from whatever's in their blood. Alice tries her best not to feed from anyone drunk or high, but she has gotten a bit tipsy from sipping on revelers early on in their revels. TMWTFS Alice drinks from one raider on Psycho once and basically goes Ragebox mode for a while – it takes months before she's willing to bite another raider in a fight.

- Changed who you were to fit in: Not really, unless trying to suppress her Wonderland hallucinations for a while after getting out of Rutledge counts. But that was firstly, a mental health issue, and secondly, in the bad old Bumby days, so she's not sure how much it counts. She was also politer to LaCroix at first than she really wanted to be, but that was out of fear of his Dominate discipline – and that facade smashed to pieces after the Grout Mansion Incident. These days (whenever they are), she's just herself, and everyone else has to deal.

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

- Favorite color: Blue and red

- Favorite animal: Cats, butterflies

- Favorite movie: Both versions of Alice actually have rather fond memories of Negative Zero, which they saw after helping Ash Rivers (figuring they ought to take a look at his work). It's a rather dumb and cheesy action movie, but Ash's performance was good, and they can think of much worse ways to spend a couple of hours. Also, for some reason, my brain has decided Alice likes Ghostbusters, or whatever the local universe equivalent is thereof. This is probably just because I'm fond of the movies myself (yes, the 80s originals AND the 2016 reboot) – I guess an actiony-horror-comedy appeals to her?

- Favorite game: Okay, I'm not sure what of the parody games in Bloodlines would appeal to LB Alice, but I do have a persistent headcanon that, if Sims 2 exists in that world, she and the family end up getting it once they're out of Los Angeles, and really enjoy it. Alice probably recreates herself and her family as humans so they can have a happy life together (after getting some sort of polyamory mod).

As for TMWTFS Alice, of the available games in Fallout 4, I think she'd enjoy the challenge of Pipfall – seeing if she can beat her best time and whatnot. She might like the Automatron holotape as well, trying to beat every wave of enemies as fast as she can.

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

- DOB: May 4th, 1984 (she was 20 when Embraced)

- Day of their next birthday, they will be: LB Alice would have been 21, though now being an undead creature of the night, that doesn't mean a lot.

TMWTFS Alice on the other hand. . .20 years old when Embraced in 2004. She would have been technically 93 when 2077 rolled around – and 303 when finally unstaked in 2087. Her next birthday would be May 4th, 2088, so that would make her 304. Probably one of, if not the, oldest in the Commonwealth!

- Age they lost their virginity: Never – Alice is gray-asexual and never wanted to have sex with anyone before getting turned, and doesn't want to have sex with anyone now. Being a vampire, she prioritizes the Kiss anyway.

- Does age matter: Yes, in the sense that, after Bumby, she is going to slaughter anyone going after a minor. Between two consenting adults? She might be concerned if there's a particularly large age gap, but as long as everyone is happy and there's nothing illegal going on. . . TMWTFS Alice happily admits this question gets a bit muddied with her and Victor's situation too (she was Embraced at 20, he was frozen at 27 – but she was born in 1984, and he was born in 2050. . .).

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL

- Best personality: Alice likes kind, gentle people who don't mind getting their hands dirty and who don't want to order her around. Bonus points for a good sense of humor or being able to give as good as they get when it comes to her sarcasm. It's kindness that really gets her attention, though – part of the reason she's attracted to Victor is just because he's nice to her. She hasn't gotten nice a lot in her life, especially not from men.

- Best eye color: Alice wouldn't say she has a preference, but she does like Victor's eyes – it intrigues her to see a brown so dark!

- Best hair color: Again, Alice doesn't really have a preference. Heck, she might joke that having one would be hypocritical, given how her own hair proved so changeable.

- Best thing to do with a partner: Something they're both good at and can enjoy – Alice would like a quiet night reading as much as a spar, as long as her partner was having as much fun as she was. She also likes board and card games – she and Victor probably play their fair amount of chess!

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

- I love: Victor, and I will not let anyone take him from me.

- I feel: rather more confused than I would like, most of the time.

- I hide: how scared I am by some of what's happened.

- I miss: being a proper human.

- I wish: that my loved ones and I could just have a normal life together.

[mosmindmanifested]

The Illuminati!?!?!?!?

What has now become a ubiqutous meme, 'The Illuminati' is a term used to describe an international and underground group of super-villians bent on world domination and human enslavement. They are famously associated with world political leaders, famous music artists, bankers and other members of society with high levels of authority, power, or influence. The Illuminati has become a blanket term, encompassing all possible secret societies, or potential for clandestine groups of individuals with ill intent for the public at large. I am here today declare myself one of the 'crazy' conspiracy theorist that buys in to the potential of such a movement being true. One thing I like to do when assesing a conspiracy theory, is to try to understand the motivations behind its possible existence. As Henry Kissinger, famous war criminal and Machiavellian political leader under the Nixon administration would say: 'Power is the greatest aphrodisiac'. Control over others has been a prominent theme since the dawn of human civilization. Any great empire that has ever existed has had a expedient slave caste that was tasked to labour, servitude and, at times, complete subjection to the will of the ruling hegemon. The most egregious example that has been branded into the consciousness of the masses through hollywood influence is... you guessed it... the trans-atlantic slave trade; where West African merchants willing offered there Spanish commerce associates, the bodies and minds of their fellow West Africans. However, at the height of the industrial age, men like Edwards Bernays (nephew of Sigmund Freud and father of the Public Relations firm), and Joseph Goebbells (head of Nazi propoganda), with their keen understanding of human psychology, came to the stunning understanding that human beings yeild more productivity when they willingly engage in an action as opposed to when they are force. These wizards then went to work on using media to manipulate the masses and to manufacture the consent of an otherwise civilized public, to engage in the most anti-social behaviour. Stop and think about it for a moment. How on earth did Nazism become a thing? The easy and completely foolish assumption is to lump all of them into the category of 'evil', and dismiss their actions as a by-product of that evil. Many of these 'evil' Nazi's were regular people in their past lives; fathers, teachers, statesmen, brothers, artists, pillars of their communities. This is testament to the power of mass psychology and propoganda. It is no wonder that many of the key minds behind the Nazi movement were extradited to the United States where they were granted asylum. Someone must have been admiring the artistry behind the movement. Spaning fron the mid 1950s to late 60s, research into mass psychology and mind control continued in the very nation I call home, Canada. At the university of McGill, under the guise of a CIA intelligence project, subjects were given undisclosed amount of LSD6 and were subject to various trials that were aimed at creating a heightened suggestive state, and creating a docile mind-controlled being. This project was known MK-ULTRA. Its alumni include a famous test subject, Theodore J. Kaczynski 'The Unibomber', a domestic terrorist who would mail deliver pipe bombs to unsuspecting U.S. citizens. Intelligence agencies seem to have a keen interest on controlling the human mind and subjegating the human body. But why? What exactly do they have in store for us? Attaining higher profit margins is a zero sum game, and when you've already accumulated billions, what drives the insatiable lust to continue? What is the end game of an intelligence agency who wants to strip away autonomy of its citizens? Here is where things get weird. This is where I lose my faithfully rational audience that is unwilling to entertain the possibility of what I am about to say. I do not ask you to suspend your disbelief, and if at any moment, what I am about to say sounds too outlandish to entertain, feel free to stop reading at any moment. You see, I do not think the controlling elite is being motivated by rational means. I do not believe the Nazi regieme, or the communist movements figure headed by Mao and Stalin (120 million plus estimated deaths between them), was motivated by political gain or power. I believe there is an ontological battle going on, one that supercedes human wants, desires and ambitions. The battle between being and non-being. The battle between life and death. Darkness and light. Good and evil. Heaven and hell. You see, these underground groups are death cults. They venerate human degradation, strife, hardship, toil, death, war, self-destruction, and everything antithetical to human life and prosperity. They create 'agents of chaos' by self-replication. Through ritual abuse and trauma of the young, they are able to fashion the minds of their offspring to harbour and propogate this malevolent ethos. It was done to them when they were young. Media hints at this. How many stories have you heard of psychopathic serial killers and mass murders who faced traumatic upbringings. Of course, this does not suffice for a justification for their actions, but it truly represents and possible explaination. Trauma is cyclical. Hurt people hurt people, and through a program of traumatic abuse, new generations of degenerate and maladapted youth enter society. Look at the Jeffrey Epstein situation that has overrun the media right now, a powerful financial player who procured under-aged youth to be sex slaves for his wealthy business and political friends. On further examination on the island he would fly his clients out to, you notice some peculiar landmarks: a temple, underground tunnel systems, etc. Members of this death cult are obssesed with youth. They recognize an innocence and potentiality in them that they themselves were stripped of, and in an acts of pathological envy, go to unspeakable measures to make sure that these children are as malleable to their influence as possible. Members of this death cult are motivated by theological motives. It is not uncanny for these people to organize around specific dates and times to conduct elaborate rituals in service of pagan dieities. (For a dramatic rendition of this depravity, I suggest you watch visionary director Stanley Kubricks swan song 'Eyes Wide Shut', fittingly titled might I add). They claim to communicate with off world intelligences that collaborate in their organized efforts to influence mass culture and the global society at large. I suggest you youtube 'cremation of care' ceremony. They are the enemies of humanity in human form. A snake eating its own tail; devouring those that they depend upon. I house the opinion that their fractured mental states, as a result of meticulous abusive efforts from parents or gaurdians, completely destroys their sense of self, and like in the case of the clinical narcissist, they function through performative emotion and expression. But what if a regular folk, not brought up in such nightmarish circumstances, wanted to participate in such a system, and reap the rewards of being a part of it? In comes ritual intiation. You must sell your soul. You must go on record committing the worst crime possible, to the most innocent victim possible, so that you are now bound to a state of obedience and secrecy. We all have heard of absurd gang/mafia rituals that initates have to perform to gain the trust and respect of their fellow members. These include but are not limited to: killing a rival gang member, killing an innocent civilian, cannibalism, acts of sadism, sexual abuse of another, being sexually abused by senior members and the list goes on. The same principal applies here. If you want to be a part of this network, you're going to have to make some sacrifices. I wish this type of activity was just in movies, but movies, as dramatic as they may be, have to take their influence from somewhere. What might be more disturbing, is just how commonplace this behaviour is. It is not isolated to a specific political or economic class, it is not bound to only certain countries and geographical locations. I can garuntee you, anywhere there are humans living in large cities, this network is alive and ready. So why aren't we aware of this? Why does the common pedestrian not house this information? Because ignorance is bliss. To become aware of such a grim reality would shatter whatever worldview you hold dear. The pain, the confusion, and the terror that such an insight would bring could not be withstood by most, and in an attempt to protect ourselves from such discomfort, we will do whatever it takes to guard our worldview, even if it is completely in contrast to reality. To know the truth would mean you would have you would have to entertain the possibility of being wrong. Can your fragile ego handle that? To know the truth would entail a modicum of responsibility. How will you live your life in the wake of this information? I do not blame you for being unaware. How can I? Had it not been for my unique experiences and encounters, I would not be subject to such information. But I can blame you for shutting it out. I can blame you for your lack of curiosity, your inability to entertain alternative possibilties, and your coward attempts at maintaining the status quo. Wake the fuck up. Look around you. Something is going on. There is a world out there that parallels our day-to-day activities, and whether you're conscious of it or not, it is playing a part in shaping the world you participate day-in and day-out. Namaste