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pupcuck · 3 months

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NYMPHOMANIA !

ft. leon s. kennedy x fem!reader

tags. daddy-daughter incest, femcel reader :3, reader wants to get raped so she talks about that, dub-con for like a paragraph, suicidal thoughts, awful thoughts in general, tiny bit of somno, threats, spanking, slapping

note. HAII :3 back on my femcel shit… god i rewrote this like 15 times and restarted over and over so i hate this 😭 it’s clunky so ignore any mistakes!!! feedback n rbs always so appreciated <3 was thinking of og4 leon but.. honestly idk atp !! anyway sorry again for the slow decrease in quality in this .. title has nothing to do w the fic ack ok bye :3

tumblr removes fics that use, for example, tw non-con and any nsfw tags in general from the tags. for this reason, as i’d like my fic to appear in the tags, please understand that this fic contains dark content under the cut. reading this comes at your own risk.

There are two things you want to get off your chest.

You are not, under any circumstances, ugly. Your face just takes getting used to. (This is a cope.)

You have a crush on your dad. No excuse for this one. Cupid is a conniving bastard. That’s that.

These might not seem like related issues, but they most certainly are because being ugly is hard, and having a crush on your dad is equally as hard.

You’re a sweet girl, you didn’t choose to come out ugly, it’s not your fault you turned out this way. It’s unfair, but ultimately no one meant for it to happen

(Well, you hope no one meant for it to happen unless someone had a vendetta against your mother and cursed her firstborn. She’s an irritating lady, you can see why someone would do so.)

You won’t even be the kind of below-average woman who marries a mediocre man to have mediocre sex to make mediocre kids to live in caustic mediocrity. You have one friend, she’s an online friend, and she might be a lonely old man. To be entirely honest you would prefer that. ‘Cause that would mean someone out there wants to creep on you.

If you weren’t ugly, having a crush on your dad would be socially acceptable. That’s why daddy-daughter porn spans pages and pages and pages of Pornhub. Everyone loves to watch a busty, blonde slut on her dad’s dick. If you didn’t have a crush on your dad, being ugly would be perfectly fine— No, that’s wrong.

Being ugly is never fine. Being ugly is on the same level as being a rapist. Being ugly in the presence of people who are objectively not ugly is, like, worse than being a rapist. ‘Cause all the dudes in high school were rapists in the making. Ted Bundy-style shit.

Grope an ugly bitch in the bathrooms and she wouldn’t speak up, and if she did— She just wouldn’t actually. Would be burnt at the stake Salem style. Hung. Crucifixion perhaps. Ugly girls aren’t good enough to die like martyrs did, however. Especially not ugly girls who cry wolf.

Why on God’s green earth would a hot guy go out of his way to slap a freaky-looking girl’s ass, right? Got girls lined up down the halls waiting for him to sign their perky tits, he doesn’t need to rape. It must be wishful thinking on her part, right? A wet dream she took as reality.

Why would you say that? Do you want to throw what he’s worked for down the drain? Accusations like this, they’re not jokes, y’know that? He’s got a scholarship, college wouldn’t take something like this so lightly.

Aw, you miss her. This goth chick in senior year. Your sorta friend. When it all went down and she had nowhere else to go, you invited her over because you’re a nice girl with no nefarious intentions. None at all. When she lay beside you at night, and she opened up, and she thanked you for believing her, you totally did not have your hand in your panties. And you totally did not rub yourself raw while she spoke about it in excruciating detail. You did not treat her rape case as erotica.

The dude got away with it of course. He was on TV the other day in fact. NFL. Baltimore Ravens. Still stupid hot. God, you wish it was you he picked - wouldn’t have told a single soul. Would’ve sucked the sweat from his jockstrap without complaint.

You’re too repulsive to be touched or raped, and you’ve learnt to live with that. Passing out in alleyways would result in rapists who frequent the area to avoid those very alleyways. Only your hand knows the cushiony softness of your tits, the wetness between your legs, how great your mouth feels— Only your dildo knows that, but you can imagine it’s good. You’re a total catch. A nympho. Men love nymphos when they’re pretty, which you are not. So you’re a nympho without the sex appeal. So in other words you are a pervert. A degenerate. A fucking freak.

It’s time to start sticking your fingers down your throat. ‘Cause that’s what gorgeous girls do to achieve that grave-robbed look. Heroin chic. Modelesque. It’s all the same type of beautiful. Emaciated and sickly. Dead girls are the sexiest ‘cause they can’t say yes or no and if there’s no no then it’s a yes. A nymphetic loophole of sorts. Men love dead girls that double as nymphos. Unfortunately, you are well and alive. Walking into traffic seems like fun, but you would be classed as roadkill, and it wouldn’t be tragically beautiful, just embarrassing to get scraped off the concrete like that. Even in death, you would be ugly because you are ugly to your very core. Your bone marrow is so ugly no scientist would want to make stem cells out of it, polynucleotides so deformed— You’re ugly. No need to wax poetic about it. Nothing poetic about being ugly.

Dad is the closest a human being can get to perfection. A divine image. Michelangelo is, like, dead and gone. David should've died alongside him. Dad deserves to take his place in the Accademia Gallery. With the way people gawk at him, he might as well be art. You’re surprised he doesn’t sell tickets to merely exist in his presence. He’s hot like a Calvin Klein model, and mom is hot like a regular model. Due to how you’ve turned out, you have a few qualms with your mother.

Like, what the fuck happened to you in her womb? Did someone take a mallet to one side of her belly to ensure her child came out as asymmetrical as one can be? A lack of nutrients maybe? Was she dieting during the pregnancy? Did dad fuck her too hard? Busted her womb up or some shit.

It simply might be that two rights make a wrong.

Or you were a tester before she popped your siblings out. Little ichor-filled putto. They were child models, scouted in their diapers, and you would stand behind your mother and the cameraman so hurt you couldn’t even feel jealous. Now they’re all grown up, fully-fledged erotes, and they’re working and doing all this shit you still haven’t managed to get a grasp on. Navigating the world as an ugly bitch is terribly hard.

Rape kinks are developed, dads get crushed on - awful, terrible things happen when girls are ugly and alone and unable to leave the comfort of their bedrooms.

Pretty girls have daddy issues that are dealt with in standard pretty girl fashion - finding emotionally unavailable, salt-and-pepper-haired men to fill every hole, including the one in their doll hearts. The thing is pretty girls don’t go for their dads. ‘Cause a lot of the time dads are gross. Dads do not look like your dad does. And to be fair you don’t exactly have daddy issues. Your dad is present and he doesn’t hit or shout or do anything out of the norm. Maybe this is a you issue.

It is a you issue, not even an ugly girl issue or an any type of girl issue. It’s your issue and yours alone.

It is your issue that when Leon asks what you want for dinner you almost ask for his hand around your throat or his hand in marriage. Either would be fine. Both would be preferred.

Severing your relationship would be even better. Goddamn, girls with absent fathers are lucky. You wish he was anything but your dad— It’s just that if you weren’t his daughter, dad wouldn’t ever look your way, he would pass by you like every man does.

Dad is a busy guy, and he’s a strange guy in the sense that he’s never really bothered with you. He loves your sister, and he loves your brother. But everyone loves those two. You don’t think he likes you very much, you can deal with that. Doesn’t mean you have daddy issues ‘cause no one likes you very much. So it’s a you issue and you should try harder.

Leon’s home early today. He’s collapsed on the couch, withered into himself like he always is after business trips. Mom said not to disturb him. You don’t. Then you do. This is like crack to you. Dad.

More specifically, dad without mom hovering over him. Dad’s sleeping so your brain is not stewed by his intense gaze. It only ever lingers on you for merely a second, but your stomach flips like you’ve got appendicitis and your legs spread involuntarily.

He’s a light sleeper, you’re well aware. He’s also a living, breathing Ken doll so you don’t put much thought into it when you reach out to ghost your fingers along the bridge of his nose. So pointy it could pierce your clit. Your clit. His nose. Oh, it could work so well, you want to grind yourself to mush against it.

Until dad shifts, he’s so beautiful up close you almost forget he’s real, not a wax figure. You trace the straight edge of his jaw, then thumb his petal lips, dragging your pointer finger over the fuller bottom one to push the tip into his wet mouth. Your dad is a slut. ‘Cause he sucks for a good second or two. Heat licks at your insides. You might vomit. His spit glistens like cobwebs when you take it back. That hand is shoved down your pants. That finger finds your clit, uses what spit is left to get it nice and wet. Which is totally unneeded, you’ve been soaked since god knows when, your pussy doesn’t know when to quit.

Feels good knowing that a part of dad is in you, his spit pushed into your hole. You’ll give him something back, it’s only fair, you smear your slick on the spot you traced. His tongue pokes out, likely to combat dry mouth, it swipes along his bottom lip— He tastes you. Heat engulfs you, chars your body from the inside out, the scent of rotting meat is in your nostrils.

Dad tasted you.

Holy fuck. You sit there with a trembling smile, staring down at him and he does not rouse. Shit, you’re creepy and you know it, but you’re not stupid. What other chance do you have? You unzip his old shearling jacket, underneath is that compression shirt that fits him too well. You map out the ridges of his abs, the slight dip between his pecs, every hard line that makes up his body. He smells so sexy, lavender and leather, must be some sorta pheromone ‘cause all you want to do is drop your face into his tits to bathe in that scent, to have it stick to your skin. Shit. Holy fucking shit. You’ve got a sex doll instead of a dad. That explains the distantness. He’s made of silicone.

The door clicks the moment you find it in yourself to click open his belt.

“What're you doing?” Mom ruins everything. She’s had it out for you the moment you formed in her womb. “He’s sleeping, don’t disturb him.” She says tersely, placing her Coach Tabby on the coffee table.

“He was cold.” That’s why his nipples are peaking, piercing the fabric of that shirt. Should be illegal to wear that in public. He’s asking for it.

“Yeah?” She asks, unconvinced, bending down to unclasp her heels.

“Yeah.” You stand up, dad’s indirect kiss on your cunt, shoot her a nasty sneer before you scuttle away to your bedroom for the rest of the day.

There are stairs that creak and stairs that don’t. You hang around down here at midnight often so you know the right path to take as to not alert your parents of your presence. They’re speaking about you.

“—be careful around her.” Truly, you hate your mother.

“What is there to be careful about?” Right? You tell her dad.

“Just, just be careful. She doesn’t y’know.”

“She doesn’t what?”

“She doesn’t get off her ass, she doesn’t talk to anyone but, well, I don’t know actually, she doesn’t talk to anyone at all.” You could pretend and say it hurts, but it doesn’t. There’s nothing insulting about the truth.

“What’s that got to do with me?”

“You’re a guy, she doesn't talk to guys.”

“We don’t talk much either.” Dad is too stiff to make conversation, and you collapse anytime he breathes in your general direction.

“Yeah, but, Leon.” Mom sounds exasperated, but she’s not getting her point across well. She should know better, dad’s skull is thicker than cement. “I’m worried.”

“What, for me or her?”

“Her, obviously, I don’t want her to… I want her to get out, like, I want her to do stuff,” mom sniffles, she is so putting this on to make dad feel guilty. “It’s so hard to watch your adult daughter just sit in a room and do nothing all day, Leon, she’s like a big fucking baby, why is she like that?”

“Babe,” he coos, and your knees buckle.

“Go talk to her.”

“What?”

“Go talk to her about it,” Mom repeats, voice shaking. “She doesn’t listen to me.”

They go back and forth for a few minutes, and then dad sighs and says fine. You make haste back to your hovel that doubles as a bedroom, crawl into bed and try to look natural.

Leon clears his throat before he knocks, when you don’t answer he pokes his head in. He says your name and you stir, sheets taut to your body as you peek up at him.

“You should open a window in here.”

When you don’t respond, he sits at the foot of your bed, looks around and nods. His gaze is scathing. Not purposefully. You just take it that way.

“Dinner’s ready,” he lies, then he leaves. His perfume lingers, and you touch the space he was sitting in, his warmth remains.

The day after that, you’re in the living room, tuckered out after mom forced you to help her with the groceries. You’re not cut out for this sort of life. The living sort of life. You were made to rot.

“Door wasn’t locked,” Leon says when he steps in, he puts his keys down, shucks his jacket off, tracks mud halfway down the hall and into the kitchen.

“Your shoes, Leon,” Mom groans, “she came in last.”

“Oh, sorry,” you say absentmindedly. If it doesn’t include tits or dicks or pussy it is none of your business. You have enough energy to keep up with one thing and that is your porn addiction. Groceries really took it out of you.

“You should be careful, rapists might come in, murderers or some shit.” Leon is speaking to your mother. Not you because he has seen your face and he knows very well that an ugly girl like you would survive out of sheer ugliness.

Mom snorts, “I think you’re the scariest thing that could walk through that door, honey.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, huh?”

You’d like to know what that means too. Well, you get the gist, ‘cause you’ve heard all those stories. Dad and his wandering hands.

“You know what that means.” The sound of lips smacking is enough to have you feeling sick, dizzy as you cling to the walls and make your escape. “Did she leave— Quit it, Leon— Hands off, can you go talk to her, please? Properly this time.”

He forgets to knock this time, or he can’t bother to knock. Dad sits in that same spot, he opens his mouth and closes it about five times.

“Mom’s worried about you,” Leon says robotically. “You good?”

“I’m great.” Your tone is unconvincing, but he clearly doesn’t care enough because you're his dirty little secret. Not in a sex way. You would do anything for it to be in the sex way. Dirty little secret as in the ugly kid he chooses to ignore purely because you’re ugly. Dad doesn’t like ugly girls, you know that. He doesn’t think they’re worth a second glance, even a first glance is too much. Dad is superficial and his love is plastic.

These are all things you’re making up in your head based on assumptions. This is how all attractive men think. Ugly girls aren’t worth rape, dirtying your dick in ugly pussy sounds like a hassle. If you were pretty, you wouldn’t fuck an ugly guy. Even as a self-proclaimed ugly girl, you still wouldn’t fuck an ugly guy ‘cause they’re gross, and it’s not like they want you. Ugly guys shoot high and aim for pretty girls. Duh.

So you get it. Honestly. Whatever. Dad doesn’t like you. That’s okay, you don’t like him as a dad anyway. You love him like an obsessive lover. A hallway crush that stars in your late-night rape fantasies. And you’re fine like this. You’re so fine.

“Can I… Can I actually have a hug, dad?” You muster up what is left in your hollow heart to ask him that. It’s a big deal.

Leon blinks at you, levels you with his blank stare. He’s so handsome you want to blow your brains out, it’s an easy feat because you’re always looking for reasons to blow your brains out. Every straw is your last and yet you’re still here.

“Sure, sweetheart.” Dad opens his arms, and you crawl towards him, head on his shoulder as his arms loop around your waist. Oh, god, you will your heart into giving out. Dying right here in dad’s arms is ideal.

He holds you so gently it’s brutal. He crushes you with the weight of his loveless love. Dad’s so good at pretending you almost think he cares.

“Can you… I want to stay like this.”

“Uh, sure, sweetheart,” Leon calls everyone sweetheart. Sweetheart is his default. Sweetheart ranges from Auntie Ashley to babysitters to lifeguards and retail workers who aren’t getting paid enough to deal with some old man making eyes at them. Not that anyone minds dad’s attention. It’s fucking unfair. Mom is babe, and your sister is baby, and your brother is buddy or sport or tiger or whatever shit he pulls out of his ass. And you’re sweetheart because you’re not important to him. His firstborn daughter is not important to him ‘cause she’s ugly. More of a specimen than a human.

You would do anything to keep him here.

“Dad?” You whisper into his neck.

“…Yeah?”

“I want you to…” Your lack of life flashes in front of your eyes. Bedroom. Bedroom. Porn. Bedroom. Porn. Porn. Dad. Not much. What have you got to lose? “I want to— I want to fuck you.”

Dad is silent. Then: “Oh.” He never makes the move to pull away, so you sit snugly in his grip for a few seconds longer.

“I— Dad, I touch myself thinkin’ about you.” Your stomach ties itself into a Gordian knot.

“Yeah, okay, why don’t we— Yeah, fuck, I see what she meant, okay. Wow, that’s a lot. Sweetheart, why… Listen.” Dad says a whole lot of nothing as he takes your hands off him.

“Please… I love you, dad. I really like you— I know it’s weird, dad, I do, seriously, I know, but please I just… I just like you.” There is no explanation for it. “Dad… Daddy.”

He full-on winces. It’s like you’re being flayed. Something inside of you just— Just shatters. Not your heart ‘cause it’s pumping more blood than it ever has. Fragments of your sanity splinter into even smaller segments until there is nothing left but nauseating levels of mental disturbance.

“If you don’t…”

“You seriously trying that right now?” Leon scoffs, and he’s so cocky you get hot under the collar.

(Between your thighs too, but that’s a different story.)

“Yeah, I’m serious— If you don’t… If you don’t do it- do it with me, I’ll tell mom you… I’ll tell her you raped me.” In actuality, you would never tell mom if daddy raped you. You would treasure it, keep it in a heart-shaped locket and think about it when you get off twelve times a day. Getting your pussy reamed by dad’s cock would fix you right up.

“Don’t— Are you okay?” Leon smacks your hand away, his tone is even.

“You do it too— I know you’ve done it, I know how you and mom met.”

His face drains, pallor yellowish. “That don’t… That’s different.”

“How is that any different?” Different ‘cause he’s hot and mom is hot. Leon passed it off as a drunken mistake and they end up getting together. It’s not rape if the perpetrator is a hottie. You agree, but still— It’s not fucking fair.

“‘Cause I didn’t do this.” Leon gestures abstractly.

You kiss him, hands braced on each of his tits, digging your fingers into the meat to feel him tense and harden like he’s wearing a chest plate. “You’re so hot dad,” you whine into his mouth, and Leon is quick to push you off, your wrists in his hands. Makeshift handcuffs.

“Listen, sweetheart,” Dad is using his dad voice. It’s like porn to you, only makes you wetter. “I don’t like hitting girls, but you’re givin’ me a damn good reason.”

“You can hit me, daddy.” You offer your face to him, stretching your neck forward, closing your eyes as you wait for the impact. It lands firm on your cheek, his fingertips catching the tip of your nose. Fuck that felt good. Shit. You think you’ve creamed your panties. “Again, dad, hit me again—“ He does. Harder than the last time. Your head knocks backwards, and your brain must have a dent in it.

Dad puts you over his lap and you’re so sure you’ve entered the pearly gates. Or the innermost circle of hell. Probably that ‘cause Jesus Christ are you steaming.

“I hate stupid little sluts that try it out on me,” Leon drags your sweats over the swell of your ass, “Do you have a dick?”

“What, dad— No!” You tell him, more mortified at his question than you are by your bare ass under his palm. Fuck— You’re so wet it’s disgusting, dripping down your thighs and surely staining his lap. Thick like treacle.

“No? Were you gonna rape dad with this stupid cunt?” Oh, you hope he spanks your pussy. Porn makes it look delicious. “You look like you might have a dick with that face of yours.” He traces the seam of your cunt through your panties. “Or is your pussy just fat?”

Good fucking lord.

“Dad…” You arch into him, only to have a hand come down on your left ass cheek. One. Two. Three. They all hurt bad as each other. Four. “Ouch!” That one hurt real bad. Five. You feel like a naughty child. This is not as hot as you thought it would be. More dull and embarrassing. Not even the good kind of embarrassing.

Leon puts you on your knees, the hand wrapped around your jaw forces your lips into a pout, and you think he is going to kiss you— God, you close your eyes and wait for it, lean into him, shit you’d pop your leg if you were standing up. He spits in your face and it trickles down the bridge of your nose.

“Got me dirty with that filthy pussy.” Dad speaks offhandedly, he speaks to you like you’re dog shit. Not dog shit stuck to the bottom of his shoe. Just dog shit on the side of the road. Like the sort that bothers you enough to complain about it, but it doesn’t ignite any real anger.

His hand remains tight on your jaw, then he drops it to fish his fat cock from his pants to slap the drippy head on your cheek. The sound ricochets off the walls. Hits you like a bullet. Holy fuck. Dad really just did that. You giggle, batting your lashes up at him as pretty as an ugly girl can, and he grimaces so it can’t be pretty.

“Christ, you nasty fuck,” Leon snickers at the look on your face, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Daddy,” you whimper, nosing the tip of his dick, he smells so good you want him in your mouth, “I jus’ love you lots.”

“God, I hate ugly little freaks like you.” He said that already, no need to rub it in. Another slap of his cock on your face. Your heart beats for him and him alone. “You know what I think?” Dad guides his cock into your warm mouth. “Shit, that’s good— I think your mom is a liar.”

His dick is all you’ve ever wanted. It’s heavy on your tongue, though the longer you suckle on the tip, the weightier it gets, and he’s wet. Dripping all over the place. You must get that gene from your dad.

“‘Cause I don’t think,” he grunts, palm resting on your forehead to push you off his shaft, “I don’t think I could make a kid this ugly.”

“No,” you say breathlessly, “No, you’re my dad, my daddy.” Crouched down below him, you lave over his balls, putting more effort into this than you have done with anything else in your life. Gargling dad’s balls is your best work. Nothing else you have to be proud of.

Your pussy is pulsing, shit has its own heartbeat, you drop your hand down to soothe your poor cunt, rubbing figure eights into the bulge of your clit over your panties. It’s not enough, you push them to the side, your fingers slip a couple times, not enough, only dad’s fingers are enough, only his cock will plug up your leaking hole.

“Get off me,” dad instructs, and you might be glued to him, but you detach yourself immediately. “C’mon, stand up.” You use his thighs as leverage, standing on shaky legs that threaten to give out at any second. He takes your shirt off. “Cute tits gone to waste,” dad sighs like it’s heartbreaking. “We could've done something about it, y’know? Could fix your face right up, just had to ask daddy.”

“Really, dad? I want to be pretty, daddy, I want to be pretty for you, you never call me pretty— Daddy, I want to be pretty, please.” You clasp his shirt, and he brings you into his lap once more, raising your legs to slide your panties down so you’re free bleeding on his lap. Free bleeding without the blood. Just good old pussy.

“Messin’ with you, sweetheart, can’t fix that dog face,” dad coos to you tenderly, and the plain-as-day insult flies right over you. Dad could get you to sell both your kidneys if he keeps talking to you like that. “Just gotta live with it.”

You have. You have lived with it. That’s what you do. Live with your ugly face. You could die, that’s an option, but you choose to wait it out. ‘Cause dying is pretty scary no matter how much you want it. And Leon’s dick is hard beneath your pussy so there are things to live for. The world isn’t all cruel.

“Up,” he taps your lower back, you raise your hips and he presses his cock to your stretched hole. Toy after toy after toy. All to ready yourself for dad. When you sink down on him, your body convulses. It’s the sweet release of death. Or an orgasm. Fuck. Dying on dad’s cock is— You haven’t died on his dick, he fucks you through your high, feet planted firmly on the ground as he thrusts upwards, dick angled just right.

Heroin is meant to be good. You’ve seen Trainspotting. Better than any cock— You don’t believe that for a minute. Unless he’s leaking smack straight into your pussy, numbing your walls. Could be that ‘cause god— You’re not really thinking, not that you think much, when you decide to shove your fingers into his mouth.

“Daddy, can you taste me?” You ask him, giving a languid grind of your hips down onto his cock, you regret it immediately ‘cause it’s so good your cunt squelches loudly. “Do you taste me, dad? Dad—“

“Yeah,” Dad says, muffled, “Shoving your fingers down my fuckin’ throat, you little psycho, ‘course I taste it.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Daddy looks so pretty with his lips wrapped around your fingers, you fuck them in and out of his pink mouth, his tongue runs along the length of your fingers like he’s sucking a nice cock. Treating your fingers better than you did his dick.

Daddy’s splitting you in two. He fucks you without a care in the world. ‘Cause he doesn’t care about you. One-time-use pussy. You’re disposable like the gloves you get with box dye. Like a plastic spork. His cock is so deep he might as well tear open your middle and fuck your guts. Leon grabs your hips, forces you up and drops you down. The air in your lungs has no time to build up— You grasp at his shirt, bouncing in his lap like you’re a fleshlight, and you would be so happy with that title. Dad’s personal fleshlight. It makes you giddy.

Leon’s cock twitches inside of you, when he lifts you off of him, your pussy clings to the tip, holding on for dear life, insistent on milking daddy’s dick, taking every drop of his cum.

“Daddy…” Your head drops to his shoulder. “Please, daddy, am I pretty? Can you call me pretty?”

His hips stutter, and you don’t have to see his face to know he hesitates. It’s a struggle to call a girl like you pretty. “You’re so pretty, sweetheart.” Then he dumps his load so deep— So deep, you warm to the thought of having your daddy’s baby. You already fucked so why not go the extra mile?

Dad doesn’t kiss you, but he lays you down and tucks you in like he never has before. “Your mom’s worried.” He goes back to the topic at hand and you groan, covering your face with a pillow. “Hey, we can, uh…” Leon scratches his head. “We can y’know…” He shrugs, glances down at you. “Can do that if you try pulling your weight a little.”

The promise of your dad’s cock is enough to have you applying for every job in a thirty-mile radius. Dad’s cock is a fix for an ugly girl like you. You’ve got a pussy only your daddy could love, and you think you’re more than okay with that.

#leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x you #leon s kennedy smut #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #resident evil smut #resident evil x reader #resident evil x you

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w1hzz · 5 months

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— reaching your word count goal

these are the tips that help me with the word count it also explains exactly how i wrote 5 whole novels in the past 3 years

— 1k - 2k alternative method:

so this was actually something i was introduced to by a close friend of mine. the method is simple you just have to alternate your daily word count.

mon/wed/fri/sunday: 1k word count

tue/thu/saturday: 2k word count

by the end of the week your total is 10k, it’s great especially for your first and second draft

— timing yourself:

mind you, this works for people who are good under the clock if not you may get the nerves and not be able to write at all. now when you first write time yourself how long you take for a specific amount of words, eg: i take about 60 mins for 1k, so i set a 45 min timer to get it completed.

— peak writing hours:

whether you are best writing early morning or late night, set your time between those periods. like i set aside 1-2hrs for writing at night before prepping for bed.

— outlining:

now frankly speaking, i don’t care if you’re a “plotter” or a “pantser” or whatever else idk— but if you’re serious about writing outline your book. i’d suggest using the 7 act structure to help with the overall outline.

1. backstory

2. the catalyst

3. the big event

4. the mid-point

5. the crisis

6. the climax

7. the resolution

[@thewritingumbrellas on tumblr]

and also before writing a chapter spend 15 minutes making key highlist of what happens in the chapter of course if your find out you have to add or remove something as you right you may do so, but have an outline.

@iieir.i on instagram @1eiri on pinterest

#writing writing writing #writing #writing advice #books #writing prompts #writers of tumblr #writing tips #writing community #literature #wattpad #book

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mtkay13 · 9 months

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So I made those as requested by abscess chemical on twitter and figured it may be fun to share them on tumblr as well. And you know what? Share a break down of my choices as well, because why not! I tried doing it seriously haha.

Zhou Zishu:

Intense - 6/10: He can be very intense, re the things or people he's invested in, but he also has a chill and detached quality to him, a way of being at peace with things that he won't blow things out of proportions.

Complex - 9/10: I think that he's a very nuanced, multi-faceted and deep character, but I guess I didn't go 10/10 just because there's also a very straightforward and easy to get part of him (esp. from WKX's perspective.

Fruity - 2/10: I think the guy's very gay but not the most bombastic about it LBR.

---

Angst-lord: although it's not as obvious in TYK, QY gives us some EXTREMELY tasty ZZS angst and a good look into how ZZS can process things through anxiety. It definitely got more lowkey post-QY canon, but...

Flavor container: IDK what that means really but I wanted to tick it

Soft and sweet: I actually didn't check it on the twitter version initially (but published an erratum). He is described as soft on the inside by too many people not to check it.

Braincell haver: self-explanatory, the guy's brilliant

Chew toy: literally!

----

Tragic backstory: if QY can count as a backstory, then everything that happened with Jiuxiao works.

Frequently violent: duh

Sidekick owner: WKX is ZZS's sidekick from everyone else's perspective (or vice-versa) and my opinion abt it won't change ever.

Pet stray animals: ZCL, for one, and for two we all know he pets cats and raccoons

Chronic insomniac: technically, in TYK, the nails do force the insomnia, but we know from QY that he had a lot of trouble sleeping at night.

Murderer: well

----

Just some guy 95%: clearly he's a natural-born NPC/side character

Too many thoughts 100%: he overthinks everything!!

Awful company 15%: I think that a goofy drunkard like him is fun but not the best company, especially when he goes all grumpy shifu/shixiong

Beloved by all 60%: most characters REALLY like him (and the others don't even know he exists) and often praise how sweet he is. Charming against his will and attempts at being invisible uwu

Trauma x1000 10%: again, I think that the Jiuxiao story left deep scars.

Helps others for fun 70%: pretty much the plot of TYK

Scary-smart 80%: I think he's really brilliant but then you have these moments where he's just clueless abt stupid stuff and clearly doesn't care/doesn't want to know or try so those 20% left are the deliberate goof I guess.

1000 weapons and tools 50/50: it's both!! every rock is both a tool and a weapon and he just keeps pulling random shit from his bosom--

At peace with life 48%: I think, for the most part, he is--at peace with both life and death, until he decides that keeping on living is just the best option in the end.

Break the rules 80%: I had no idea w this one but... in TYK he pretty much does whatever he wants, so---

Extra comments: The way the "evokes" ticks every boxes for me to various degrees of intensity... sigh It was difficult for the "want them to have" section since I think he has everything post-canon, but I tried seeing it from a mid!canon perspective.

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Wen Kexing

Intense - 9/10: While WKX's feelings are generally cold, they seem equally intense to me, just like his eyes or his stare. He's intense about his love, about his revenge, about his plans.

Complex - 6/10: I've had interesting convos about how WKX is... nuanced, of course, but not as complex or deep as it may seem on the surface. That doesn't take anything from how interesting he is, but he is rather straightforward in what he is, ultimately.

Fruity - 8/10: I MEAN--

----

Enemy of the State: he's literally THE main Jianghu villain

Flavor Container: I still don't know what it means but it felt right once again

Braincell haver: the guy is EXTREMELY smart and outsmarted everyone in TYK so yeah

----

Tragic backstory: can hardly do worse than parents murdered in front of you, ate your dad to survive, took care of a child in the wildest, most dangerous part of jianghu, fought to reach the top while "serving" the previous master........ He scored it all!

Orphan: again, fully checks out

Frequently violent: yes

Has enemies: in SPADES

Sidekick owner: GX and ZZS are WKX's sidekicks 100%

Murderer: yes

----

The antagonist of life 70%: had to change from protag to antag because he IS the TYK antagonist (if TYK had been a traditional wuxia from ZCL's perspective...); of course it ends up being subverted but you know

Too many thoughts 75%: I think he's a big thinker as well

Awful company 85%: Let's be real guys

Hated by all 30%: I think he's too underestimated or not even really acknowledged enough to be hated, but I am pretty sure that more people dislike him than the opposite

Trauma x1000 60%: well.......... I think he has a bunch!

Sadistic for fun 15% : I doubt he's one to like helping and we know him to have those sadistic tendencies

Scary-smart 80%: same reasoning as for ZZS

1000 weapons or tools: mostly bare handed for everything save for the occasional whip or walnut shell but---

Enemy of god 35%: I have to be honest I don't really know what that means but I guess he's defied death a few times!!!

Break the rules 95%: WKX shits on the rules

----

Additional notes:

Mostly ticks everything in the "evokes" categories as well, but I unticked "symptoms of projection" because I don't feel like I project much of anything on WKX... maybe? (save for the ZZS lewding.. LOL) always hard to say, IG we always do a bit of that on every character, eh

and The Horny ofc because i'm kinda known for not really lewding my good WKX atp

I want a lot of things for him during canon, but again, all I can think of is how post-canon WKX really got it and then I gush and am simply happy for him.

That's it thank you for reading this mostly unnecessary breakdown!!!! Edit, following a comment asking for the sheet:

#wenzhou #wen kexing #zhou zishu #tyk #meta

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genericpuff · 6 months

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Soo to understand some things because i get what's happening in LO only from Tumblr;

Apparently now there are two Titan villains Ouranos and Kronos for... reasons unknown

There's a prophecy of Apollo overcoming Zeus that makes no sense

Persephone is the one responsible for winter so Rachel proves she doesn't understand the meaning of the original myth of Hades and Persephone that's a metaphor for changing seasons / life and death

Kassandra is the one to tell it even though she was cursed by Apollo her prophecies to never be believed and also she's part of the plot even though Achilles in LO is very young and she's part of the Trojan war so... Rachel messed up the time periods

Eros and Psyche believe her as well which again doesn't make any sense because Kassandra's gift was also her curse that led to her downfall

I am sure there are more but Rachel just keeps adding plots and plots to no end trying to make things more interesting apparently? Idk so far the series is an overwhelming burn out 😅

Kronos was used as the midseason finale villain for people who are on free to read episodes, Ouranos was used as the actual midseason finale villain for people who are on FastPass, with Apollo as just like, an accessory. IDK if this is foreshadowing for Ouranos to actually 'return' (literally I have no idea how Apollo overthrowing Zeus will lead to Ouranos being revived but god knows at this point) but there are definitely WAY too many villains going on for a story that's meant to be just a romance/drama series

The prophecy for Apollo overthrowing Zeus is literally just the prophecy of "descendants of Ouranos use fertility goddesses to overthrow their predecessors" (so Ouranos used Gaia to gain power over the realms < Kronos overthrew Ouranos using Rhea < Zeus overthrew Kronos using Metis, even though most of the credit technically goes to Hera for handing herself over to Kronos in an attempt to poison him under the guise of them having a "relationship"). And yeah the implication is that the fertility goddesses in LO are limited to ONE family line that's been passed down since Gaia/Ouranos like the freaking Avatar, which KINDA REINTRODUCES THE INCEST BTW-

100% , I feel like it was her attempt at giving Persephone a "flaw" but this doesn't work because we've seen Rachel retcon aspects of Persephone to make her perfect before (the green hands) and it's not cool that Rachel can only give her a "flaw" by taking away the legitimate strength of the one other character who's CRUCIAL to the original story this series is based on.

More of Rachel trying to give lip service to the myths to sound smart even though it literally makes everything fall apart

Right, and this is such a massive plothole that happens TWICE within their respective episodes

This one time Rachel described her writing process as that scene from the Simpsons where Homer Simpson tried to force two jigsaw pieces together, and frankly, I think we should have taken that blatant foreshadowing more seriously because it's clear she's just trying to make circles fit in square holes with the mess that is this narrative.

And yeah, presumably the series is gonna end by mid 2024 so the estimates right now pin the series ending in 15-20 episodes, 30 tops. I have no clue how she's going to wrap all this up when she's still establishing new things. Even experienced professional writers wouldn't bother with trying to save this wreckage as it is, it would literally be sent back to the drawing board, but it's being left up to Rachel who's NOT an experienced writer to figure out how to end it on the fly. We're not in for a good time with this LMAO

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus #ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything

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leslutdepointedulac · 1 month

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*crashes through your door like big bird*

🗿 give us the rundown on how you got here! which was the first vc book you ever read? what made you decide to seek out vc fandom on tumblr?

Okay, buckle up ya'll because this is a decently long story.

So I would argue it actually started waaaayy back when I was a wee child, say about 6-7ish maybe. I would see the IWTV film on TV all the time and me being obsessed with vampires, I really wanted to watch it. Idk how I knew but somehow I had the knowledge that it was a very famous vampire story with queer characters and that it was supposed to be really good, so naturally I was like "I wanna watch that!" But my parents wouldn't let me because it's an 18 and I was a child (not that this stopped me fr begging them though lmao). This happened several times throughout my childhood and each time my parents would be like "No you're too young, you can watch it when you're older."

Skip to when I was around 15 I think, and I had this friend in school whose house I went to quite often. I was round for a sleepover one time and they told me there was this film with a banging soundtrack they wanted to show me. That film was QOTD. We watched it and I thought it was pretty decent (fyi I can't stand that film now, but the soundtrack still slaps. And Akasha! Aaliyah absolutely killed it!). When I went home the next day I told my parents what I had done at my friend's house, and that we had watched QOTD and they were like "Oh, the sequal to IWTV". Now bear in mind, I'd forgotten all about IWTV by this point and then it all came back to me and I was like "Omg no way!"

However, I still didn't watch IWTV and I forgot about it all over again. Until 2 years ago. I for the life of me cannot remember how or why I suddenly remembered it at the time, but I was chilling in bed and it came to me. So I found IWTV and watched it for the first time in my life (I was 19 at this point) and lemme tell you. It was worth waiting 19 years of my life. I loved it and thought how it was insane I'd only just now seen it, but better late than never.

Then I forgot about it again lmao. Until the 3rd November 2022. I remembered (again, idk how or why) that I had heard about an IWTV TV show so I found it and watched it and I thought "huh, that was pretty good. I like this!" And so I became obsessed.

Then I decided I wanted to read the books so in December of 2022 I bought IWTV, TVL and QOTD (it's all three in one book) and I started reading the series from the very beginning. I got even more obsessed and kept buying the series until I had them all and read through the whole thing.

In February on 2023 I joined tumblr for the VC fandom, because I had seen VCblr posts on Pinterest and thought it looked fun, so naturally I joined in.

And that more or less takes us up to now really lol. I'm still here and even more obsessed than ever. My obsession is primarily on the books since I read them. I kinda moved from the show to the books but I still have a deep appreciation for the show because that's what brought me here to the fandom in the first place. (And I still love the film too.)

I also recently, in the past couple of months, made friends with a group of people here in the fandom and I'm so glad to know them and be friends with them (including you, of course @hekateinhell 💖). I've been in many fandoms before this one, but this is the first one I've been so active in and the first one I've made friends in. I love ya'll, and I love talking to you all 🥰💕💕

Anyway, it's a long story as to how I got here 😅 It's like these vampires have always been in my life in one way or another.

Sorry this was such a ramble but yeah. There's practically my whole VC life story 😂

#thank you for the ask!#vampire chronicles #tvc #ask game #ask and you will be answered

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ariaste · 9 months

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Hello hello! If it’s all right with you, I would like to vent for a moment: Back in the day, I used to be really into BBC Sherlock. I know it was bad, but it was “Be Gay (solve) Crimes” and I couldn’t resit. One of my favorite parts of the fandom was reading fan metas. I enjoyed reading your ridiculously long meta! I am not very clever and I enjoy reading people noticing things that I can’t. It’s fun watching people passionately pick up clues and put them together.

I don’t think I’m the only one getting superwholock flashbacks lately. Sherlock also tried an unreliable narrator in S4 and it was an absolute shit show. People thought thought the finale was fake, it was so bad. TBH, the entire show was a dumpster fire that thought it was more clever than it was. Moffat was a good writer for single episodes for DW, but a garbage show runner. And they called us crazy for picking up what they were putting down.

But Good Omens gives me a spark of hope. It is unashamedly queer, fun, drinks its respecting women juice, and, unlike moffatiss, I think Neil and the crew may actually be clever enough to pull something big off. I adore the Discworld series and Sir Terry, and I have faith Neil will to do right by him.

Good Omens is restoring my faith in nerdy queer fiction and reminding me why I love fandom so much. Please keep up the crackhead theories. I love them 💕

Thank you, that's very kind!

(Ended up writing a very long reply about the response to my essay and also about queerness in media. Idk why i am writing such long posts these days SORRY LOL. Anyway I'm putting it all beneath the cut so I can tag it without clogging people's dash or the tag pages)

It does make me sigh a little when I see people scornfully comparing my long essay to The Johnlock Conspiracy or saying that they're having Sherlock flashbacks, because the both the contexts of the shows and the methodology of the theorizing are VERY different. To my mind, a more direct comparison of methodology would be the Gravity Falls fandom's "Stan Has A Secret Twin" theory. Writers and showrunners DO like being sneaky and clever from time to time, and many of them are much better at it than Moffat is.

But whether or not my theory is right or not is... kind of irrelevant to me? I wasn't out to force anyone to agree with me, AND writing it was a really fun way to spend a weekend, AND I'm proud of the work I did and the story I told, AND it felt good to have a satisfying workout at the Brain Gym. So even if I'm proven utterly and completely wrong, I won't feel like I wasted my time. :)

Good Omens is a great show, and I am SO HAPPY to see it (and other shows!) embracing queerness, sharing the fans' enthusiasm for the story, and honoring and respecting the fans' love rather than punishing them for it. As more and more time goes on, I think we're going to see more and more shows like that, because some of the people who grew up reading tumblr discourse are going to be showrunners themselves one day, and they'll have learned serious lessons about what it feels like when the audience is met with love rather than disgust and disdain. In fact, we're ALREADY seeing more shows like that than we had 10 years ago! There is so much canonical queerness on-screen these days that the me of 10-15 years ago is ASTONISHED and feels wealthy beyond counting. Of course, there is so much further to go, but man... when i was a kid, we had to walk uphill in the snow both ways just to see two dudes making sustained emotional eye contact, and we were grateful for it. (Jokes but also.... kind of real tho)

We've seen the exact same thing happen in scifi/fantasy publishing in the last seven or eight years, too! (Went off on a long tangent about Queerness In Media from an insider perspective, continuing below a cut so I don't clutter everyone's dash)

Even as recently as 2013--ten years ago--you might not have even been able to get your book published if it was openly gay. Hell, you might not have been able to get an agent to represent it, even. It would have been labeled "unmarketable" and passed over; if it DID get published, the queerness would have been camouflaged and downplayed and hidden in the marketing as much as possible--you wouldn't have known by looking at the cover that it was queer, you wouldn't have been able to tell by reading the back cover that it was queer. In literally 2016, seven years ago, a few months before I got my first book deal, I remember having a conversation with a friend and being very very worried that if I wrote books as queer as I wanted them to be, I would be "pigeonholed" as "ONLY writing Gay Books", that I would be passed over for any of the publisher's marketing budget and publicity efforts, that I would be sidelined and ignored... In 2016, I thought I was facing a choice of writing stories with more "mainstream appeal" OR writing the books I wanted to write and potentially undermining the rest of my career.

That didn't happen, thankfully, because in the next couple years there was this incredible explosion of queer scifi/fantasy. You see, ten to fifteen years ago, a truly stunning percentage of my colleagues -- writers, editors, publicists -- were writing and reading fanfic, and they carried their tastes and story-hungers with them as they grew up and got Real Adult Jobs at publishing companies. And suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a lot of us came of age all at once and there was this absolutely enormous wave of queer SFF that in my opinion has brought us into a new golden age of the genre: The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir, The Chorus of Dragons series by Jenn Lyons, She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker Chan, Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie, The Tensorate series by Neon Yang, Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon, Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki, The City in the Middle of the Night by Charlie Jane Anders, the Birdverse books by RB Lemberg, The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickenson, The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri, Reforged by Seth Haddon, The Sorcerer of the Wildeeps by Kai Ashante Wilson, Ocean's Echo by Everina Maxwell, The Fifth Season by NK Jemisin -- and these only the ones I could remember off the top of my head in 30 seconds, and I have a flavor of ADHD that makes my brain go blank when people ask me to think of specific examples of things! It is harder for me to think of a SFF book published in the last 7 years that ISN'T queer.

And then almost exactly a year ago, my book A Taste of Gold and Iron came out with THIS COVER:

Which. Is not so much a step forward in openly queer SFF as it is a fucking gauntlet thrown down in challenge. I cannot impress upon you strongly enough how much I would not have gotten this cover 10 years ago, and that's if the book was even accepted for publication in the first place. This cover SCREAMS gay fantasy romance. There is no attempt to hide it or camouflage it. It is advertising exactly what it is, right up front.

I got the absolute privilege and honor of having this cover--and I do consider it an incredible honor--because of the work that all my colleagues put in with their own work. Each queer book that got published wedged the door a little wider for the next one, and then a little wider still for the next one, until finally someone could get their foot in the door and squeeze across the threshold, which opened it a little wider again. So when I look at this image, I don't just see a beautiful cover that I am delighted to have on my books--I see an entire history of slow, steady progress by so many incredible writers who risked damaging their careers just to drag us to a point where a book as gay as this one could get a cover as gay as that one and STILL get the full and enthusiastic support of both the publisher and the audience. And the most incredible honor and the most humbling privilege out of all of this is the fact that the success of this book meant that the door was wedged open another little bit, that I got to contribute in this small way to the efforts of everyone who came before me, so that ones who come after us will find the door flung wide -- or that there's no door left at all to block the way, because we've collectively torn it down.

So yes, @eyona, I think that having your faith restored little by little is a very good thing, and I am delighted that Good Omens is doing that for all of us. And what's even better is that even if Good Omens doesn't play out exactly how we want it to, that's... kind of okay? Because there is always the next one, and at the very very least, Good Omens is wedging the door open further so that the next one can have an easier time of it. We don't have to walk uphill in the snow both ways just to get a moment of emotionally charged eye contact anymore. We don't have to starve anymore, not like we used to back in the bad old days. And that alone is a wonderful thing. :D

#good omens #a taste of gold and iron #publishing #queer media

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in-flvx · 1 month

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i dislike the incorrect quote too but i disagree with your tags on that post - i hope that's OK. i don't think remus actually wanted or expected sirius to help him study. yes, he knew him well after 5 years of friendship, he knew sirius was exceptionally bright but he also had to know that sirius wouldn't jump at the opportunity to revise Tranfiguration questions with him. he said what he said because he had let his frustration show for a second ('You might,' said Lupin darkly) and he needed to quickly cover his arse and defuse the tension. he wanted to take a jab at sirius but also avoid having a fight or actually talking about the matter (that's such a classic remus move imo). he knew exactly how sirius would react. and that's why he didn't ask his other friends for help - because he didn't actually want help. remus was trying to entertain and distract a bored sirius in his own way - by offering something to bitch and moan about (remus's swottiness) but james had a better idea (as always lol)

Hi ❤️

I got halfway through my response before I had to look something up and tumblr then deleted all of it 🙄

But yea it's always alright to disagree with me. I don't think we will see eye to eye on this one though.

My read of the 'you might' will probably forever be coloured by the translation I first read, in which Remus basically agrees with Sirius that it would be great if it was a full moon rn. Either way, I never read it as the negative jab (though you're right that would be very Remus), or the tension filled reference to 'the prank' which most people see in it. I'm not saying they're wrong either, I just don't read it that way.

But to the more important part... Sirius bitching and moaning about remus' swottiness is entirely fanon, and even the language you use is fanon. Sirius, in the text, never bitches or moans about anything, least of all the acquisition of knowledge. He speaks fondly about remus having been the 'good boy' who became prefect, and he never, not once, laughs about people's curiosity or smth. Not even snape, who he insults in every way possible, does he insult for learning. He critizises his posture as he writes, his hair, his clothes, but not the fact that he writes so much or reads between classes. Snapes intelligence is like the one thing Sirius respects about him.

So why would he make fun of something his friend does when he doesn't even do with his enemy.

It's also not something Remus would invite. Being ridiculed I mean. He is very concerned with the way people perceive him, and while he rarely (not never but rarely) appears as aggressive or imposing, he also uses the rules of conversation in his favor. He might not be such a master at it at 15 as he is at 34, but I don't think he'd willingly let someone make fun of him.

Which is also not what happens afterwards btw. Sirius doesn't make fun of Remus for asking for help, or for studying. He just tells him that helping Remus revise won't help Sirius with his boredom and then he moves on.

Further on, we don't know if sirius liked to help his friends revise or not. He certainly doesn't have a problem helping Harry, but that's his godson, and we know that sirius (and James) helped Peter every step of the way to become an animagus. Sirius even sends Harry extra books in ootp to help with the da. Sirius respects knowledge, and intellect. He helps other people furthering their own horizon. He wouldn't bitch or moan about remus trying to learn smth. It's only boring to sirius, who is already bored, and knows everything for the upcoming exam.

Now, idk if Remus actually wanted help, or just entertain Sirius, though I usually also go with the entertainment read of the situation, and just offered a new view with my tags on that post. But Sirius bitching and moaning about remus' swottiness is as much fanon as Sirius' inability to go a day without commenting on Remus' grandpa sweaters and how cool he is despite them, or Sirius' disbelieve that remus can both read and smoke weed.

I hope this makes sense.

#Anon post

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gildeddlily · 1 year

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finally reading Fifteen and not only analysis ab it on tumblr

alr, I watched those episodes a million time but a lot of things weren't clear and I don't trust bones with their light novel's adaptations. it was... the fight against Rimbaud was like longest than everything, and they cut off a lot of parts of it, but also of the interactions between skk. I understand it but it's a pity alr?

i love him. no fr dark era dazai pisses me off (try to ask me why idk, I just do), agency dazai is alright, but fifteen Dazai is my heart and soul and I love him with all my heart. stormbringer Dazai too, I just love so much how he is...

...alr I already knew like everything that was ab to happen in this, cause I watched the anime and read analysis ab the light novel on tumblr and other social, but to see it written down like this hurts. I just love the way Asagiri writes, it's so forward and simple but so enjoyable and sad I'm gonna spend all my money on his light novels

CHUUYA IS HERE CHUUYA IS HERE MY DARLING IS HERE btw Chuuya is perfect in every single era. In every panel he's in, in every light novel he's even slightly nominated, in everything. even when he has his little twenty seconds appearance, I just can't help myself. "-a person that had personality"... good luck bby

are they flirting? Yes? No? yes they are shut up (I can hear chuuya's voice actor saying that, and that intonation is like the "aww poor baby want me to pick up where he left" IT IS DON'T LIE TO YOURSELF) and reading fifteen was so beautiful cause it clashes so much with innocent/sweet potato!chuuya that a lot of people seems to love. he's just menacing and hurting and killing people every two sentences

the anime really isn't enough (here he's talking about Mori after he admits he has killed the former boss: Mori's always referred as a demon, shinigami, the evil itself- and a non-human who act as such and knows it, and the connection to what Dazai thinks about himself is making me cry)

HE JUST DIDN'T yeah he thinks shit like "he's the most vicious thing on heart" and then calls him a timid street doctor

...he didn't just him a fairy did he?

yeah bud he kinda is a child. like, you're one too, so admit it and go on with your life. I just have to hug that chaotic energy chuuya has.

it's a pity it was cut, cause it would have been hilarious. and scary but still hilarious (chuuya's so dramatic and for good reasons) (dazai wants to go home) (no alr he wants to die but wait a little cm)

...what is this kafka love

It's so sad, and kinda beautiful too, the way he acts so freely when he's fighting anyone, and when he's with dazai. He's known him for like a day and already is more honest with him than his so called family. (chuuya beliefs about what his role is are heart shattering, and I'm gonna found another shirase hate club. he pissed me off a lot when I read stormbringer but now he really is making me rip off my hair)

dazai was manipulating all of them from the beginning, and in this scene he's also doing everything only to make the Sheeps betray Chuuya, but I don't think this was necessary (the "is that not enough/he's your friend"). he definitely knew that they wouldn't have understood and ignore that and straight up leave Chuuya behind, but he said that for a reason, like he was testing them- and chuuya. he said it was fun to mess up with him- and chuuya sees his family refusing to trust him and a guy he hates understanding him better than them, and I guess it doesn't feel good

he's actually being genuine!? he already is a bastard manipulator, but I like to think that 15!dazai was more honest and childish. not really was, more act, tried to impersonate that part of him.

this is Dazai, at the idea of pranking Chuuya by making him fall in a pool of mud and pour flour over him

that's dazai right after he killed the GSS man from the oh so famous clip where he shoot him like five times. and this is dazai around chuuya, in the like two days the got to know each other. is the opposite thing. he laughs, he smiles, he fucking flushes at the idea of making fun of him.

this is hilarious. asagiri actually is a comedy master. I laughed. and I'm not ashamed.

gay behaviour. homosexual tendencies. romantic tension. he had to fight himself not to blush (not really but inwardly awkward 15!dazai is my life)

"do you trust me?" it's their line, and theirs only. like even if you don't want to see them as a romantic couple, the trust they have in each other is so beautiful. everybody always talks about chuuya trusting dazai with corruption, but dazai's survival in dead apple was assured by chuuya himself, so our guy just put (another time, remember the hostage situations) his life in chuuya's hands trusting him? trust is their thing, and you people saying that it wasnt the same after dazai's deflection, fuck no. they were the same, with the rich-girl-act that really was the "are we alright?" silent question, and the we-are-partners-even-tho-i-said-ex

CHUUYA'S LAUGHING AT DAZAI'S DOG JOKE CAUSE HE ALSO ADMITS THAT HE WANTS TO LIVE he's so precious and even tho I'm the number one fan of dazai-fell-first-and-harder I love Chuuya starting to care, starting to get used to dazai.

and more of this. asagiri is screaming at us that chuuya basically saved dazai. or at least, he made the life mori constricted him to carry on more enjoyable (in the anime they switched the sentences, chuuya saying "don't tell me what to do" but this is actually better)

I love rimbaud, my bby is doing all of this to know what happened to verlaine and it's so cute (the fact that they completely cut off verlain's name and just left the "I killed him with my own hands" says a lot ab bones future plans ab stormbringer and asagiri introducing him in the central plot. it's not gonna happen guys or the anime only are gonna get their brains blown up)

chuuya struggling with his humanity since he was able to understand the concept itself is canon, and I wanna die

"if they were with eachother they didn't have anything to fear" and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. verlaine and rimbaud were the original soukoku. fuck zskk, we hate mori and we love the cold man and his made-in-a-laboratory boyfriend (they had a (fr terrible) relationship in real life, so asagiri is telling us something. that they're just canon)

now, to end this, just more screens of chuuya surprising dazai (with official illustration too), the most canon and pretty thing of this light novel after the love confession ab rimbaud and verlaine

im done

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #bsd chuuya #bsd chuuya nakahara #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #fifteen light novel #bsd light novel #paul verlaine #bsd rimbaud #stormbringer #gays #burn the gays #knowing mee knowing youu there is nothing we caaan doooo

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a-substantial-trash-pile · 4 months

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referencing the last reblog so i don’t end up writing a mcfreakin novel in the poor person’s notes:

because god it really sucks holding it all in. my therapist is cool but it’s hard to explain some of these things that bother me to someone who isn’t as “online.” so i resort to posting about the things on my tumblr because it’s the closest i can get to talking about things to someone else without feeling as much of the guilt. idk my mind is an anomaly. speaking of guilt im putting a “read more” here now because this dumb thing’s getting long and now im thinking about the things that have bothered me that idk if i handled right and i don’t want to subject others to seeing it if they don’t want to.

ALSO i think im going to tag my random posts that i make when im having sad bad brain times with “trash rants” so please feel free to block that tag as needed!

the following is essentially about being in a discord server that had both minors (15+) and adults in it and the complications i had in that environment.

one thing that happened a while ago involved a situation within a fandom discord server that idk how tf to even explain the situation to a professional without feeling like an idiot. an adult artist had a character that other people in the server liked. one time that person posted something they drew of that character topless with a message about how boobs shouldn’t be sexual which is absolutely right. but then the others + the artist started making comments about the character’s boobs that i became very confused with how to interpret. my brain was like “are the intent of these comments to be suggestive/sexual in nature or am i being an ignorant asshole for interpreting them as such and it’s because i’m being the problem and seeing boobs themselves as a sexual?” it was even more complicated because the people involved in making these comments were underage. it got even even more complicated because then some of these underage people started drawing the character topless with more comments that i didn’t know how to interpret. one of these people at some point told the original artist that they would privately dm them the more nsfw drawings they were doing. and everyone seemed to be having a good time going “BOOBS 👀👀” and all that and the channel was going crazy. but i was getting so uncomfortable and confused. and i felt like such an asshole. because i like boobs too and society shouldn’t see them as something inherently sexual. but the underage folk being involved made it so complicated for my brain. because if some random person not involved with the server looked in on what was happening, couldn’t it be seen as minors making and sending an adult nsfw art? even though it was very likely NOT the intention of the original artist.

what i ended up doing was bringing my concerns to the server owner, which was responded well to. a rule was put in place about sharing nsfw stuff. but i felt so guilty about it. i felt like i was being a party pooper and ruining people’s fun. i still wasn’t sure if i was even doing the right thing and if it was a problem within me and not with what happened. i was born into a conservative religious background so it was only when i became more independent and was allowed access to the internet that i got to start to unlearn the bad things that were taught to me. that background is something i’m trying so hard to separate myself from, but it’s something that i’m afraid will haunt me. was what happened in the server not actually a problem, and it was because my brain wants to do the bad society thing and interpret boobs as sexual? did i ruin everyone’s fun because i’m just an ignorant asshole who got uncomfy at something i shouldn’t be getting uncomfy about? i still don’t know. anyway, i ended up leaving the server because i just couldn’t enjoy it anymore. once in a while that original artist’s stuff pops up naturally in my feed because we’re still in the same fandom, but i can’t even look at their art or even their name without feeling all the confusion and guilt again. which i feel terrible about because they seemed like a really nice person and they’re a great artist! and i really don’t think they had any bad intentions at all when that situation in the server happened. but i just can’t do it.

that situation was the first moment i truly realized just how scary it is and careful you have to be when you’re in an online environment where adults and minors can freely interact. it’s easy to forget ages when you’re just a profile picture, and how easy it can be to influence someone young, and how dangerous that is, whether your intentions are good or not. it made me realize that i don’t want to be in that type of server where you’re directly interacting with underage people. because i’m a fucking mess and i don’t know what the hell i’m doing 90% of the time. i don’t want to somehow mess up a kid! even if it’s an accident i didn’t want to risk having that accident happen in the first place. it’s one of the reasons why i can’t bring myself to ever draw and post nsfw art anywhere either. i just feel so uncomfortable about it. to me it’s fine if others do it if they’re doing it in a safe way with the necessary precautions, and they shouldn’t feel shame in it! it’s just not something i feel comfortable doing myself.

jfc im so sorry if anyone actually read this far. this whole thing is so stupid. i wish i didnt let it bother me for so long. there are a lot of stupid things that my brain wastes time worrying about. maybe writing all this down will help me explain it to someone on the “outside” who can tell me how to stop it. i don’t know.

#again I’m so sorry about this #trash rants #long post #I think a lot of things all the time and am bad at shortening the words I use to describe the thoughts

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ameliagiovanna0 · 1 month

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20 questions for fic writers

thank you @sisterofficerlucychen ilu 💕

How many works do you have on Ao3?

2. What is your total Ao3 word count?

22,129

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Rookie and Chicago PD

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I Guess I'm Still Learnin' (How To Talk To Girls)

Feel Your Kiss On Me

I Kinda Might Sorta Like Love You A Little Bit

When I Taste Tequila

Forever Feels Like This

5. Do you respond to comments?

I definitely try to. I used to be a lot better about it. But I absolutely read every single one

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think any of them? I don't really do angst 😅 If I had to pick, I'd say Giants simply because the ✨situation ✨wasn't resolved

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I Guess I'm Still Learnin' (How To Talk To Girls) is hella fluffy and it just has happy vibes. The ending for You Guys Got Married is just warm and fuzzy for me because I wrote it exactly how I wanted it to happen on screen

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope! I've never gotten any negative comments. Everyone has been so kind 🥰

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've tried, but I'm very bad at it lol. I've definitely written my fair share of allusions to something more spicy, but that's about it. I'd love to give it a better shot one of these days

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no, it's not really my thing. I'm not really a huge fan of reading them either

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I once had a scene stolen almost word for word, but not an entire fic. I hasn't thrilled about it, but I chose to take it to mean that I did well writing the scene 😂

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but that would be pretty cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. @lady-rhaesnow beta read You Guys Got Married and offered some suggestions after I pestered her lol. I would love to cowrite something. I'm going to quote Ivy and say holler at me if you want to 😁

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Upstead was the reason I joined tumblr and started writing fics to begin with, and they'll always be my first love. Booth and Brennan were my first ever ship, so they hold a special place in my heart. However, Chenford has my whole heart at the moment ☺

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I Guess I'm Still Learnin' (How To Talk To Girls)

I've been working on a third chapter off and on for months. I just can't figure out how to make it work the way I want it to. I just don't have the inspiration for it

16. What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, I guess? I think I'm pretty good at writing how a character feels and how their emotions affect them

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

descriptors. I suck at describing body language and movement

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done a sentence or two, but that's it. I took four years of French in high school, and when someone says "it gets lost in translation," they're definitely right. I used Google Translate for those few sentences, and Google Translate sucks are nuances, so I'm afraid that I wouldn't get my point across properly. If I knew the language better, I'd be all for it

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Chicago PD, specifically Upstead ☺

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

DON'T MAKE ME PICK BETWEEN MY BABIES I'm going to say Feel Your Kiss On Me or When I Taste Tequila. Idk I just really like them. I feel like they're really true to the characters, and I love the fluff and humor in them

Tagging @sylvies-chen @headlightsatmidnight @silverskull @fighterkimburgess @justmypartner no pressure 💕

#tag game #ivy tag #the rookie #chenford #chenford fic #lucy chen #tim bradford #chicago pd #upstead #jay halstead #hailey upton #ameliagiovanna writes

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tristitia · 4 days

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i really loved these ask questions by @archivoasks which I found thru @svnarin and I wanna answer them all! they literally reminded me of my time on quotev where I used to take those free answer surveys! ughhh! I miss making quizzes 😭 but here we go <33

1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

guilt. isolation. and my own will to better myself after 10th class.

2. show us a picture of your handwriting?

3. films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

the hangover, pt 3. the campaign. the conjuring 2.

4. what made you start your blog?

I had started so many blogs and deleted them over these 3-4 yrs on Tumblr 😅 but I made my first blog (@demeto-anima) to post astrology incorrect quote, somehow it turned into TR blog, then I started posting my writings on it. When the list of my works started to grow, I made my side-blog @emotioball, then in December of 2022, I deleted both. Then in Jan 2023, I made my beloved @tristitia, on which I used to post my writings on my beloved Taiju, in March I guess, I deleted it too 😭 Now I'm here again, with the same name, but this time posting nothing because I lost that content maker streak in me somewhere back in September of last year 😭

5. what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

The best part is, you enjoy what you create and the sad part it, it hurts when ppl don't appreciate what you made with your whole heart 😔💔 (and also that to be visible, to become a bigger blog, you have to be socially active which on so many occasions I had failed to achieve because I'm scared of talking to someone else outside my circle (which is a semi-circle tbh)

6. what scares you the most and why?

My sister dying before me 💔 She is the only person on this planet who loves and understands me without any condition, she's my soul mate, I'll die if she's gone 💔

7. any reacquiring dreams?

yeah... this big road that never seems to end. I always find myself standing alone on it

8. tell a story about your childhood

once a boy in 2nd grade wrote my name on his arm with blade, principle thrashed him so bad (Idk why such things happens to me all the time, something like this repeated I'm 11th grade too)

9. would you say you’re an emotional person?

Yes, on a scale of 0 to 10, I'm 15.

10. what do you consider to be romance?

understanding each other, being honest to each other. random acts of services. making time to meet up at the park or cafe. long walks together, sharing stories, all kind of them, good, bad, embarrassing— this is love

11. what’s some good advice you want to share?

don't ever do anything half-heartedly

12. what are you doing right now?

recovering from typhoid 😭 mustering courage to complete my notes

13. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

get into politics, I love it so much, I'm serious when I say I want to become Prime Minister of India 😭

14. what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

books, TV, good movies to watch with my family

15. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

try to be more confident

16. name 3 things that make you happy

books, writing, finally understanding a complex topic

17. do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

I believe in ghosts! I've a whole theory that they live in the lower electromagnetic spectrum of light, yk in the UV range and we cannot see them because we see things in visible range

18. favourite thing about the day?

it's lively, and I'm more productive during this time

19. favourite things about the night?

you got to make vivid scenarios before bed

20. are you a spiritual person?

not right now, but I want to be. achieve that state of peacefulness and satisfaction

21. say 3 things about someone you love

they stuck with me when I thought they'll leave. they respect my opinions. they never judges me.

22. say 3 things about someone you hate

you're mean. you're arrogant. you'll never know love if you'll keep making everything about yourself.

23. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

I know when to distance myself from things that are running me mentally and/or physically

24. fave season and why?

summer, because there are lots of flowers and butterfly and green grass and blue sky and basically, lots of colors and life

25. fave colour and why?

yellow, because it reminds me of warmth, sun, sunflowers and that everything will be okay if it's not already, also Taiju's eyes are yellow so that's why too 🤭

26. any nicknames?

yeah, my one friend calls me Ashi and other calls me Asubaba

27. do you collect anything?

foreign currencies!

28. what do you do when you’re sad?

I watch TV 😭 and cry

29. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

writing, especially when it turns out the way I wanted it too 🫶✨️

30. are you messy or organised?

mostly organized

31. how many tabs do you have open right now?

34 right now ♡ last week the number reached 80

32. any hobbies?

writing, reading, journaling

33. any pet peeves

i hate it when ppl talk to me in a way that they are demeaning me. homophobes and ppl who don't respect other person's culture, religion, ethenicity, etc. also irks me a lot

34. do you trust easily?

yeah 😔

35. are you an open book or do you have walls up?

according to my sister, I'm the most obvious person on this planet

36. share a secret

I think I'm bi

37. fave song at the moment?

coney island by taylor swift ft. the national

38. youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

Dhruv Rathee, he is so brave and speaks the facts about the current situation in thr country. logical and presents his view without applying any bias biasness

#[🥀] tris's personal universe #this was rotting in my drafts since ever lol 🥲

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d4isywhims · 10 months

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sims tag game!!

i was tagged by these lovely people @seokolat @pxeltownie @mdmszee @moonriesims @magpiesims @oasivy @tbeanie-sims !! <3 lots of love to you!!

1. What’s your favourite sims death? death by vending machine just because that's the only "unique" sim death i've gotten so far lol (it happened to mawar btw but i immediately quit the game bc of obvious reasons)

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? i'm personally a maxis mix girl but i loveeeee looking at sims with alpha cc

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? nope :)

4. Do you use move objects? yes. i would not be able to survive without it

5. Favorite mod? bed cuddle mod my beloved <3 no but in all seriousness, mccc and iu cheats are a gamechanger! i also love a bunch of adeepindigo's mods

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? get to work ;)

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? live as in aLIVE :)

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? aww just one? :( i have so many! priya, kohana, harlow, jae!!!, hunter and sooooooo much more. but if i have to choose one i'd say my favourite is probably harlow because i based her off of savannah smith and she is gorggggg (both savannah and harlow!)

9. Have you made a simself? yeap

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? foodie for sure, umm maybe creative and dog lover :D

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? the ash brown swatch? the one hunter's hair colour is in

12. Favorite EA hair? i don't knowwww 😭 i mostly use cc hair yikes

13. Favorite life stage? young adult! i get to do so much :D

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? both i think? but if i had to pick a side, i'd say that i'm more of a gameplay person in ts4 :) i'm an avid builder in ts3 tho hehe i’ve always loved the building aspect of the sims and i loveee watching speed build vids on youtube

15. Are you a CC creator? i wish! but unfortunately i’m not :(

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? i like to think we're all friends here so i'm going to say yes! i've met sooo many amazing simmers on here and i intend on making more :D

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) i’ll say ts3 just for the nostalgia :’) but ts4 is pretty good too minus the bugs lmao

18. Do you have any sims merch? do knockoff plumbob headbands count? :p

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? i do actually lol my yt username is still d4isy-nukes but i currenty have no vids up.......YET

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? when i first started playing the sims, i was obsessed with making the "perfect" sims with "perfect" lives and would aaalways cheat away negative moodlets or never give them "negative" traits ykwim? but now i just go with the flow at whatever the game throws at me lol it's much fun that way :D also it helps to not stress about the things in game too much, it takes the fun out of it :p

21. What’s your Origin ID? same as my tumblr name!

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? oof i can't name just one 😭 @littlbowbub @oni28 are my go-tos for food cc! @simstrouble @johnnysimmer are also very cool! idk man i feel like if i list all my fav cc creators it would be never ending lol

23. How long have you had a simblr? ohh omg i think i made this account somewhere mid-2021? not sure tho but i've only started being active earlier this year :) and hopefully for the years to come!

24. How do you edit your pictures? i use photoshop! i don't do much besides adjusting the brightness, cropping the pics and run a few actions. if i'm feeling fancy i'll add a moodlet/thought bubble or text :) gshade basically carries my editing process atp lol

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? give me hotels/resorts!!!! but ngl it's probably going to be buggy af tho lmao

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? cottage living AND seasons. i canot live without seasons

i know for a fact that a bunch of my moots have done this tag already so i'll be tagging whoever sees this lol

#gem got tagged!

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wolfjackle-creates · 5 months

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20 questions for writers, tagged by @gremlin-bot

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

87,995 (What the hell? I thought it was, like, half that 🤯) [This will increase dramatically once I get a few more things transferred from tumblr to AO3]

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, it's mostly dpxdc. I'm trying to break into more solo DC and DP stuff. I also have a few works for Good Omens that I'm not ready to abandon.

4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos?

The Nurse's Demands

Electricity

Remember, Remember

Want to Hold on and Feel I Belong

Answer My Call

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

Yes! I'm in fandom to make friends and have fun. I made one of my best fandom friends through AO3 comments. Besides, talking about things I've made and my thoughts behind them is fun. ^.^

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

On AO3? Probably Carry On. It's a Good Omens two shot that more-or-less starts with Abel's death. It then follows Crowley and Cain as they experience exile together. But I don't really do sad endings, so it ends with Cain finding a degree of peace, even if Abel is still dead.

In general? Never shared, but it's another Good Omens story. A sequel to the above. I wrote 3 fics/chapters that explore a Fallen Raphael!Crowley coming to terms with the fact that he can't heal. So in the 2nd installment, he gets close to some humans and when one is severely injured, he fails to heal them and they die. I won't share more than that, but I literally can't read that fic without crying and I wrote it. (The fourth and fifth part of the series are him wresting the ability to heal back from the binds that were placed on it, so even those have a happy ending in a way. The people who died remain dead, though, so I think it still counts.)

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Considering none of my dpxdc longfics are finished yet, I'm gonna go with another Good Omens fic, The Demon Piper. This is based off the story of the Pied Piper, obviously. Hamelin, Germany is experiencing a famine due to rats getting into the winter stores. The adults are desperate and many are considering selling their kids to indentured servitude or worse. So the kids and Crowley make a pact to run away together. They they go off and set up their own little settlement in the mountains and everyone lives and it's super sweet. I have a few sequels I need to post that get even fluffier.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Haven't yet! Y'all are the best <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

My third Good Omens fic! An Evening In! It's an 18k PWP with Soft Dom Aziraphale and Service Bottom Crowley, human AU. Really, it's just two men who love each other very much. It's so soft and self indulgent, even if they do explore some kink dynamics.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one?

DPxDC is my first time in a crossover fandom. It's been a blast! IDK if it counts as crazy, though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. Wouldn't that be the biggest flattery, though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

No. I don't think my writing style lends itself to co-writing. I'm very particular about how things get phrased and I'm a plotter and most of my planning happens mentally while driving or at work or something.

14. What's your all-time fav ship?

Oh, I don't have one! I have a fav ship in certain fandoms, though. I was in the Sherlock fandom for a while, so Johnlock obviously. For Be More Chill (the musical) it's Michael/Jeremy. For Good Omens it's Crowley/Aziraphale. For Avatar it's Zutara. Newsies has Jack/David. For DC only fics, I'm an avid Tim/Kon shipper or Core Four. But for DPxDC I'm a multishipper. I was also a multishipper when in the MCU fandom (though Steve/Tony became a nOTP for me and was never a favorite even before Age of Ultron).

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh, damn. It's hard to say. I plotted out a whole Good Omens Parent Trap Fusion. (Aka take the plot of the Parent Trap and fit in the characters from Good Omens.) I hate to call it abandoned since I would like to go back to it. But time...

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do panic attacks and emotional breakdowns very well. I'm also proud of how I can weave a complex plot into a coherent story which will hopefully come out once I get further along in some of my long fics (particularly Answer My Call and I'll Carry Your Heart (Until I Find You Again)).

17. Writing weaknesses?

I don't think I'm very good at making sure all my characters have distinct voices. I've gotten way better at that this past year, but I'm still working on it. I'm also too much of a perfectionist which makes me slow. And I jump around ideas too much which makes it harder to finish projects.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages?

I will never do it. Way I see it, if the POV character understands what is being said, the reader should understand, too. Which means it needs to be written in English (the only language I can guarantee the reader of an English story can understand). If the POV character can't understand what is being said, neither should the reader. If it's omniscient POV, I will put it in English if I want the reader to have that information and leave it out if I don't. Not give some readers extra information that others don't get.

19. The first fandom you wrote for.

Naruto. I wrote it by hand in class on lined notebook paper and passed it over to my best friend. She, in turn, gave me drawings of my favorite characters.

20. Fav fic you've ever written?

God, I have no idea. I love so many of my works and each one represents something. The Demon Piper is the fic that got me back into writing at all so that's super special to me. Bring Me Home is the one that got me writing for the DPxDC fandom. An Evening In was my first attempt at smut and I am so happy with how it turned out (never thought I could do it). I'll Carry Your Heart (Until I Find You Again) has a premise I'm absolutely in love with and I have so many plans for it. Want to Hold on and Feel I Belong is proof of how much I love emotional breakdowns and I love how much of a punch it packs. Remember, Remember is my first time writing an introspective piece that covers a long time period and I think it works really well.

No, I don't have a favorite work. No way I could pick between them all.

Tagging: @greensword101, @isalisewrites, @britcision and anyone else who wants to do this!

#my writing #my rambles #tag game #thanks for the tag!#this was fun

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enniewritesathing · 4 months

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discussion post #2 (i think?)

This may have been a small update but More Things happened and we gotta talk about it. (Or, I'm gonna talk about it.) More like a ramble, really.

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Speculation? Let's talk about it. 🤔

Behind the Scenes stuff:

first off, I wouldn't have the ability to even remotely do ANY of this part without @anothersimsstory's CC conversions and I'm glad I had the foresight of downloading it when I did. (they didn't delete their shit or anything but you know how it is sometimes) and the monitor by Theraven (I don't think they have a tumblr? they have a forum tho), and the EKG leads by @jellypawss. It really pays to make niche CC!!

I had to make swatches for the monitor since it is an important visual thing... but it was wholly contingent on me finding something that's close to actual vital signs and I looked everywhere but they were all stock images and obviously didn't work for what I needed. I then had to search high and low for for it, but I found it. For real!! I had to use TWO laptops (one for settings and the other for the actual monitor) and I screenshotted it, slapped it into paint to save it, make it a swatch, rinse/repeat for I think 15? idk how many

you may think, Ennie, that's a bit much, and I say, my attention to detail game is insane when it doesn't need to be but dammit, the visuals have to make sense from a glance. That and the offchance of someone who knows read the monitor would point something out about it. That said! I tried parcing out what EtCo2 is but all I got from it is was "high number bad".

seriously, I spent... a Stupid amount of time setting that up. 🅱️lease clap for me -- I can safely say that I don't think anyone else would go that far.

I told myself after finishing The Incident I was not gonna be doing 5/6 rigs all in one shot again. (🤡)

The lighting situation drove me up the damn wall and after a point, I just said fuck it. What I didn't anticipate was the stark contrast of John and The Werewolf talking and the memory in terms of setting. It's really cool, I think.

I fretted over this part the whole time because I didn't know what order I wanted and what I was going for, but I think I escalated it properly.

For The Werewolf's veins, I had to do the ol' S4S shuffle, but they are a combination of 3, maybe 4 and ofc had to make outfits for the progression, which is why he's still rocking the half-sleeve look (and from an age/timeline stand point makes him 21/22ish). You know what, let's look at them again!

it's a good look

Speaking of... I had to make a lot of The Werewolf solo poses and I found out that uh, it's all in the brows; they can completely change the meaning. It's bad enough with the angles and the general body language. (Or maybe not? Eh.)

Another visual thing -- The Big Scene... that one, I had going back and forth with it until I decided going all white for The Werewolf's eyes (or lack of pupils). It was far more striking and way scarier than the 'blank' eyes I tend to go with.

seriously, I contemplated on tagging it as a jump scare.

Oh! and the shaking of 3 pics, that was spur of the moment because I really kept going back into the post and something was just missing. I have a (cracked) PhotoMosh and I played with the setting a bit and bingo.

It is probably my favorite post so far. I had to settle with the fact that it's not gonna be the one to be spread around. Or any of it really.

Story Stuff:

There's so many crumbs in this! So. Many. There's even a loaf of bread or two. If you tell me what you're picking up on and you're on some kind of track, you get a cookie (🍪). (I'm serious, btw)

John's clearly shook. This may be the first time we've really seen him like this. And The Werewolf is nonchalant... (I will admit John looks very pretty when he's like this lol)

...or is he? I think there are more cracks in the dam than you'd think. A while back in a post that's somewhere on this blog, but John has a tendency to play with his hands when he's anxious.

Another thing that I just noticed is that they didn't really look at each other; I wonder what that's all about?

I've said it once and I'll say it again; even though they share the same body, John and The Werewolf look very different from one another, and I think that's neat.

Jordan being real about taking advantage of the fact that they're getting paid $$$ and they'd be dumb to not take up the offer.

I had to remember that Brian did not know John was a werewolf at this point in time, or even begin to really put 2+2 together. I call it a bit of genre blindness, helped by the fact that this didn't happen all the time. He just rolled with it. Also, wow he looks very young without his tats; ofc this was the college years and he was beginning to fill out/eating good.

Mark is the smartest dude in the whole story. He said, nope, nuh uh, I'm OUT. IYKYK.

There were so many pics I wanted to take of Daniel punching The Werewolf right in the solar plexus (or thereabouts it might've been slightly lower than that). As they say in the FGC, he failed to block that overhead.

I'm glad I decided to leave in the fact that The Werewolf couldn't see too well.

The Werewolf blew his vocal cords out screaming. He said that shit with his soul. Rarely do I go with the funky text with him since that's his "big scary werewolf" voice (that and he rarely speaks like that). My man said "I'll make you suffer my pain." Beautiful. Can't wait to see how that plays out.

That said, The Werewolf did work himself up to the point of nearly killing himself on accident. But as Charles predicted, his body hit the emergency button and shut that shit down.

I spent the most time worried about this part because it needed to get the point across without it being so... cheesy?

also, I have to say? The Werewolf is a Swearwolf. *rimshot*

The Fucking Around part has ended... The Finding Out part is really going to be fun to watch. (I mean, you can already do this if you haven't but now you have way more context.)

There's something about The Werewolf that's becoming apparent (to us). He's still holding back on his actual feelings. Not only that... he hasn't gotten to John himself and I think that's where it's really gonna go down. John knows this; he's not naive to think that he didn't have a role in all of this too. Something to think about.

Charles is a flat out Nasty Man (very derogatory) and yet, I kinda enjoy writing it.

I do love how he is formal with names, "dear ____" and referring to John's formal name Johnathan.

which I always forget this mfer is named Johnathan. Nobody calls him that.

#ennie rambles #spoilers #story discussion #i think that might be it or at least at this time #i may add to it via reblog if i think of something else #thoughts? comments? concerns? speculation?

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