#I was sick today

[machineryangel]

grabbing every 13 yo girl by the arms and yelling "YOU LOOK FINE !!!!!!! DON'T SPEND UR ALLOWANCE ON CONCEALERS GO SEE A BAD MOVIE INSTEAD !!!!!!!!!!! BEAUTY IS POETRY AND SONGS AND LAUGHTER W FRIENDS AND COLORFUL LEAVES !!!!!!!!!! GO READ A MARY OLIVER POEM AND YOU'LL BE OK!!!!!!!!!"

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[junk-culture]

good ending

[ewansmitchell]

art/patrick + old childhood best friends motif

[girlboyburger]

i was extremely sleep deprived yesterday when i discovered the dragon survival mod which was LIFE CHANGING when you're on three hours of sleep so of course i made a whole custom forest dragon texture in one day about it. and. just for fun, some concept art i made for it:

[sniffinjimmy]

what about fem!jimmy/saul/gene and lactation… feel like there are so many opportunities there….

OH GOOD IDEA… on my old blog I posted a little bit about that but… I need to make an actual story about it that actually includes feminization

[pbnmj]

it’s important to me that peter and co always have their bank accounts in the negatives . like it is fundamental that spider-man is broke

[daily-poorly-drawn-animals]

[bigfatbreak]

warmup of the day is: here's to hoping for another year

[phantom-peachie]

hhhh,,, skyward sword,,

screams incoherently

[homkamiro]

Hii have some sniperscout angst I drew as a gift for my friend lenny

[themintsimmer]

SWEET ★ HONEY ★ BUCKIIN' lookbook

★ LOOK ONE - HAT | EARRINGS | NECKLACE | OVERALLS | SHOES ★ LOOK TWO - (hat from horse ranch pack, or base game idr lol) | EARRINGS | NECKLACE | TOP | PANTS | BOOTS ★ LOOK THREE - HAT | EARRINGS | NECKLACE | TOP | PANTS | BOOTS ★ LOOK FOUR - HAT | EARRINGS | NECKLACE | TOP | ACC | ACC | PANTS | BOOTS thank you to all of the amazing cc creators, especially @kikovanitysimmer for the inspo // hair by them and you can find that here : desert eagle unit @simpliciaty-cc @eunosims @ikari-sims @belaloallure3 @serenity-cc @asansan3 @cocoelleansims @bluerose-sims @sentate @astya96cc @zeussim @simgirlz @trillqueenn @pralinesims

[junkanimate]

First post of 2024, keeping it real, keeping it gay

This is very much a recreation of this post on tiktok, and a big thank you <3 to @helsensm for basically putting the worm in my head to do this (luv u)

[midnight-moth]

Two v important phantom cumulus moments - I can’t figure out who took the video because they’re just floating all over :(

Anyways LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE

[anna-scribbles]

was told today by a child that i look like “adrien but if he was a girl” and i WILL be riding that high for the rest of my life

[blackbatcass]

bart and wally’s relationship is hilarious but when you take a step back it’s excruciating. they can’t stand each other but they’re bonded by one unbreakable similarity: iris west was the first person to ever love them when the world told them they were unloveable