#I was watching a scene where viktor comes out to some of his family

[flickering-starlight]

note to self—googling “is it ok to buy a binder if I’m not trans” may actually mean i have some self reflection to do

[thebearmage]

Hiii, could you write a one shot about Five Hargreeves being all cuddly and sleepy with his lover? the time is set in season 3 after the robe scene where he talks to his siblings and they're all eating take out.

In Their Arms

Five Hargreeves x GN!Reader

Summary: Five hasn't gotten the chance to rest for 20 days. Trying to save the world from apocalypse after apocalypse. Now, his body seems to be catching up to him. But luckily, you are there to catch him.

Five and reader are both 18+

You sigh as hot steam fills the room. You were sitting in the sauna by yourself, wrapped in a simple towel.

Five had taken a bath before you and had even offered to share, but you wanted to be left alone for a little.

It was nothing against him, and he understood, you just needed to decompress. Process a few things.

You had crash landed in 1963 with Diego. However, when he became obsessed with saving JFK, he quickly ditched you. Much to your annoyance.

You had wandered by yourself, taking odd jobs for cash but never staying in the same place twice. You didn't have powers of your own, but that doesn't mean you weren't powerless.

Thinking back on it, you realized how fucked a lot of the shit you had to go through was. Your heart reached out to Allison, who you knew had it worse.

You sigh and put your head in your hands, taking the moments you needed to process. After a while, you wrapped yourself in a towel and went back to your room.

You had stolen a pricy necklace back in '63, which, when paired with Luther's watch, had given the group three rooms.

One had two beds, Viktor and Allison had taken that room. One room had some bunk beds and a spring mattress, the rest of the boys took that one. So, you and Five were left with a tiny room with a single bed.

Neither one of you was complaining.

When you made it back to the room, you take the robe off. Wincing a little at the few wounds you'd gotten back at The Academy.

Jamie and Slone had attacked you before realizing you were powerless. Once they did, Jamie scoffed and said you weren't worth her time, but Sloane apologized and even offered to treat your wounds.

You were both touched and insulted by Sloane's offer but knew her heart was in the right place.

You change into a loose t-shirt and shorts, gently pulling up your shirt to bandage your wound.

You heard the door open behind you and a hiss of breath.

"Shit, did you get that at the academy?"

It was Five. He quickly walked over to you and guide your hands down, helping you bandage your wound.

"Yeah," you grunt when he presses a bit too hard, "It's just a bad bruise, I'll be fine,"

"Who was it?"

"Five..." you scold, "Don't, she apologized,"

Five growls but doesn't say anything, just continues to bandage you.

After he was done, you kiss his forehead, "Thanks, baby,"

You lay down in bed as Five changes into similar clothing to yours.

Suddenly, he stops. He's got his shirt halfway on, you notice the abrupt lack of movement and look up.

"Five?"

Five sways a bit, before shaking his head and pulling the shirt over his head, "I think I need to lay down,"

He slowly sits down on the edge of the bed. You slowly sit up to properly look at Five.

He looks so tired. Eyebags under his eyes, slumped posture, slow blinking. This man has been through hell and back, and it finally seemed to be catching up with him.

You hold your arms out, "Come here,"

He turns to you, "Huh?"

You smile, gently bracing yourself against the headrest, "Come here, baby.

Five blinks slowly before crawling over to you. You gently guide him into your lap, head tucked under your chin.

Five was stiff for a few moments, clearly testing to see if he liked the contact. You gently rub up and down his arms, before gently wrapping a spare blanket around him.

“Oh, baby," You coo, gently running a hand through his hair, "You take such good care of everything. The world, your family, me. But I think it's time you let yourself be taken care of,"

Five's body starts to slump onto you more. He nuzzles into your chest and wraps his around your waist. He's on top of you now, but you're both comfortable.

Five sighs. You're so warm and comfortable. He doesn't want to move. Why would he move? Why would he do anything else but lay here, wrapped up protectively in your arms?

Five feels his eyelids grow heavy. Your hands continue to pet through his hair and run soothingly up and down his back. Why do anything else? Why kill? Why fight? Why push forward? Now is not the time for that.

"Looks who's struggling to stay awake," You tease softly, voice no louder than a whisper.

Five whines, hiding his face away in your chest, "Noooo, I'm fine,"

“You can barely keep your eyes open,” you chuckle softly, “It’s okay, baby. You can fall asleep in my lap. I’ll hold you, all night long, just like this,”

Five hums, completely relaxing against you. You gently tilt his chin up and begin leaving kisses down his neck. Not to arouse, but rather to calm.

Five sighs in bliss

You kiss up Five's neck to his ear, “I love you,” you whisper right into his ear. You then start to gently kiss the lobe, 

Five squirms a little, laughing softly, “Y-Y/N! S-stop!”

You laugh too, “Stop squirming! I’m not even kissing that hard! You’re just ticklish!”

“A-am not!” Five protests weakly. You slowly start to stop, 

“Well, what if I move my lips over to your forehead,” You kiss Five's forehead, 

“Then your nose,” You kiss his nose, 

“Then finally, your lips,” You kiss Five's softly, trying to put all the love you feel into one kiss. You break away after a little, “I love you, baby. I love you so, so much,”

“I love you too,” Five lays back down on your chest, smiling.

“I know you do,” You purr, resuming your earlier movements, “You’ve shown me that every day. And I can never describe how thankful I am for that and for you,”

You kiss Five's head, "Now, just rest, my love. I'll be here when you wake up,"

Five smiles and finally lets his eyes flutter closed. He curls into you a little more, before finally drifting to sleep.

———————❖———————

WOO! Finally got this request done! So sorry it took so long, Anon! I'll get better at answering requests! Thanks again for the request and feel free to send more in!

[allisoooon]

omfg can i say i love your viktor & allison takes so much

it’s been so frustrating being in the tua fandom having both viktor & allison as my top faves where too many people completely woobify viktor & demonize allison to hell and back

it’s kind of frustrating with viktor especially because you can at least blame the audience take away of allison in s3 on the writers doing stuff like focusing on a drunk five montage instead of allison’s pov but s1 is right there and apparently so many people’s take aways from it was “viktor is poor baby that must be protected” despite the fact that he is a 30 year old grown man tht was very clearly being an ass

and it’s confusing to me like, 1) what drew me to viktor and made him my fav was the fact that he’s kind of an ass, like I can’t remember if it was the cabin scene or the viktor bringing down the mansion scene but i saw that and was like “holy shit he’s an asshole, i have to watch this for him”

2) premise of tua is literally dysfunctional asshole siblings are dysfunctional because of their trauma but that’s no excuse esp because their actions are literally causing apocalypses and they have to learn to heal both individually as a family and once they do so the apocalypses will stop (probably)

I think for some people that when they strongly identify with a character, their natural self-serving bias pops up and wants to protect the character because they feel like they're protecting themselves. So I get where it comes from. People have been sanitizing their faves and bashing anyone remotely mean to them for as long as fandom has been around, probably.

Klaus compares Viktor to Carrie White in s3. Whether that was the inspiration for Viktor or not (which would make a ton of sense--Vanya in the comics is far more actively complicit in the end of the world, whereas Viktor seems to kind of go into a trance the way Sissy Spacek's Carrie does), it's extremely apt.

I've heard it said Stephen King has become so iconic because most of the "monsters" in his books are humans. As much as you feel for Carrie and want her to have a better lot in life, at the end of the day, she is the monster of this horror story. Her mother and her bullies are all more evil than she is, but they didn't massacre pretty much everyone at a high school dance. Especially with Spacek's portrayal, you almost feel like it wasn't Carrie's fault. It was out of character for her, and after everything she's endured, it makes sense if she got a power rush and literally burned everything to the ground.

Viktor is similarly the monster, or in this genre the supervillain, of s1. It's done incredibly well, too. By the time you've fully followed his arc up to when he snaps, it makes so much sense for him to lose it that it doesn't really even feel like mass murder. Like with Carrie, you've identified with this character's pain so much, you're kind of rooting for a cathartic power trip. The writing is so good that when a character does something unforgivable, you forgive it almost before it happens.

So it really does feel like a disservice to the character when people sanitize Viktor. As if you can only justify identifying with this character if they are a good person. Identifying with the monster doesn't make you a bad person. In fact, it was the writer's goal. Fighting it means you're not getting as much out of the story as you could be, and the message the author is trying to convey won't hit as hard. Viktor has a very real dark side, and it's always going to be a threat to the people around him. And yet he is gentle and soft-spoken, and tries to be a good person. These two things exist in the same character, which is how it happens in real life. When it happens in fiction, the audience can safely explore their own dark side. That's damn good writing.

[peachy-wolfhard]

He’s an asshole but he’s MY asshole (V)

A/N: ngl i cried writing the beginning of this, rewatching the season for this series has been rlly fun (except for the scene where Fei dies rip my queen), OH MY GOD DONT USE THE SCHEDULE THING BC THEN THE TAGS DONT WORK!!!

Taglist at the bottom, feel free to ask to be tagged in upcoming parts!

Warnings: ANGST, girlie u are going THROUGH it, Reggie’s a douche, more angst, y’all almost break up, reader is said to wear a dress but its only a passing comment, drinking, swearing, eating, five might be ooc bc i havent written for him in so long, smoking, sex implications

Word Count: 4.2k

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4 Part 6  Part 7

     Laying on the pool table yet again in the Hotel Obsidian after your brother and other sister died. Can't seem to fucking escape this place. It's like Hotel California. Great now I’m gonna have that song stuck in my head. Laying on your back, head against the lip of the pool table, you admire the necklace Fei had got you when you were a teenager. Yours had said ‘Best’ while theirs said ‘Friends’. Originally they were black with white lettering but due to time, they had faded to a bronze color with black lettering from the years of filling them in with sharpie. Tearing up you curl into a ball and start to sob. My fucking family is dead, my fucking best friend is dead. Now in the fetal position, you full-body sob, not caring if anyone sees. 

     Ignoring the ongoing argument in the other room, you go to the buffet trying to find something small to snack on, finding an apple. Using your knife you peel and slice the apple, cutting it into little cubes. The thought of cubes breaks you again, dropping your knife on the floor and dropping to your knees. I want my family back, I want my fucking family, I NEED them. I need Alphonso’s shitty jokes, I need Jayme’s daily existential dread talk, I need Chris’ happy disposition, I need Fei. Sobbing you slide down the wall silently munching on the apple cubes. After a cry sesh, your arms fall to your sides, brushing the matted-down carpet. Looking forward all emotions drained out of you, feeling empty. Deciding to see what the other idiots are up to you head back toward the balcony.

     Before walking into the room you hear Ben and Diego arguing. Leaning on the column you watch them argue, numb. “Hey, you guys done? The universe is disappearing outside. So you can keep rearranging the deck chairs of the Titanic if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains that we are too late,” Five says. “Come on, Five,” “It's over Luther, we failed.” “Come on. It cant be over over,” Viktor says. “Yeah, come on, Five. We gotta figure this out, man,” Diego insists. “Okay. How about we take a step back? Look at the big picture here. Most of us have spent the last 28 days trying to stop the world from ending. What exactly have we accomplished?” The room goes silent, the Umbrella’s reflecting on their past 28 days. 28 days ago I wasn't in this shithole and had all my siblings. Walking from your column you stand next to Ben, his arms wrapping instinctively around you. Normally, this would make you smile but not now, not after half of your family died. “Well, we made some friends along the way,” Luther says positively. “Incorrect! You know what we’ve done? Nothing. We made things worse every single time,” Five corrects Luther. Leaning closer to Ben your head leans against his bicep sighing. “Don't save the world.”

     “Well, on that…super happy note, we’ve um--oh, what the hell,” Luther says as both he and Sloane stand. “We’ve got a little announcement to make,” “We’re engaged!” they say in unison. “Kill me, Jesus,” Ben mutters making you smile for the first time. Taking the flask out of his hand you take a long drink before giving it back. “Now?” Allison asks. “Yeah. Look, we realize the timing is less than ideal. But, obviously, it's now or never. Am I right, Five?” “Don’t drag me into this, please,” Five says while looking away. “What…Whatever time we have left, we wanna spend it with all of you. So we’re super pumped if you would join us in the banquet hall at 6:00 p.m. for a celebration of our love, and the official union of what's left of our two great families,” Sloane explains. “Dress code is creative black tie.”

     Sloane goes around handing out their wedding invitations when Reggie and Klaus return after being gone for days. Klaus explains that they were tangled up in a father-son end-of-the-world road trip. Klaus’ long explanation ends with him saying that he’s now immortal. Huh, so that's what Diego was talking about. After accusing Klaus of getting into bath salts, Reginald asks why we’re playing with jars. “They’re invitations. Luther and I are getting married,” Sloane says to Reggie. “If he goes to their wedding I'm gonna be even more pissed off,” Ben whispers to you. Ah, your wedding was a magical time full of arguing and absent fathers. Sloane hands him an invitation before Luther tells him space is limited and taking it back. Ben picks your invitation up and looks at it, “Ours were better,” he jokes. “Well I mean it's not like they have marketable powers like us,” you continue joking. 

     “Dad, have you been taking your pills?” Sloane asks. “As a matter of fact, I haven't. And I can confirm that I’ve never felt better in my life. You thought you could dope me up and slow me down, take control of my affairs and squander my fortune,” Reginald says, looking directly at you. He’s always hated me, accusing me of only being with Ben to get a hold of his money, the feelings mutual. “Well, Klaus here was good enough to wean me off that wretched poison, and now that the fog is lifting I can see all your dastardly designs with a bracing clarity.” “You took him off his meds? What were you thinking?” Sloane asks upset. Reginald is then sent into another spiel about how he's the only one thinking and then calls him an impressive young man, causing Diego to laugh. “As for the rest of you, your training is to resume post-haste,” Thank fuck some normalcy in your last couple of days. Ben and you quickly tell him that you're ready. You can tell he’s been waiting for this, to go on a big grandiose mission since the last huge mission was years ago. 

     Five and Reginald start going back and forth; Five mentions that he talked to Pogo. God, I can't remember the last time I saw him let alone heard his name, I miss him. “Nobody wants you here, Dad,” Luther tells Reginald. “Hey, you don't speak for everyone, big guy,” Ben replies holding your entwined hands up. I don't even wanna be around him, he’s done nothing but make Ben and me feel like shit. I mean he didn't even come to our wedding when it was at his own house! “Feel free to join him.” Before Reggie can continue with another one of his long tirades, Klaus interrupts taking him to ‘have a cup of tea’ in his suite. Diego leaves as Lila quickly follows him; Sloane then leaves presumably to go see what’s up with Reggie, leaving you, Ben, and the Umbrella’s alone.

     Walking past Luther and Viktor, Ben holding your hand and pulling you along with him, he overhears Luther mentioning his bachelor party and how “not everyone is invited.” “What was that?” Ben stops making the three of you look at him. “Nothing man, nothing,” Luther shrugs off with a quiet chuckle and smile. Ben quickly continues with you in tow, walking even faster than before. Getting to what you have claimed as your room Ben flops on the bed and sighs deeply. Flopping down next to him you ask “Is everything alright? You’ve been pouting since we left.” Ignoring you and rolling on his side away from you, staring at the wall. “Well, when you want to tell me I’ll be open, not gonna force it out of you,” you say walking towards the door baiting him to say what’s wrong. “Okay fine you pried it out of me,” he says with his usual dramatic flair, rolling onto his back, and staring at the ceiling. “It’s just…why wasn't I invited to the bachelor party?” he asks, completely serious. “Babe, are you joking?” you ask smiling thinking it’s just another one of his pranks. “No, why would I be joking?” he says turning and looking at you now sitting on the bed. “Well I mean you’ve been an asshole to them the entire time they’ve been here,” you tell him. “Listen, I’m gonna find Sloane and see if she needs anything before we get ready.” 

    Walking to what you remember is Sloane and Luther’s room, you start reflecting on Ben’s actions. Being that you were the only person that truly got to see who Ben was or wanted to be. For everyone (and even sometimes you) he wears a mask of a confident, arrogant leader but in those times when his mask slips you can truly see him. An affection-starved man craving any and all affection and recognition he can get. A man that just wants to be loved and seen by his father. Someone who has played a character so long that he himself doesn't know who he is. Finally, you made it to their room, knocking to the tune of ‘Shave and a Haircut.’ You can hear Sloane yell to come in, walking in you see her sitting in a chair hemming a dress. “Need any help?” you offer secretly hoping that she would say no. “Um, not at the moment but thank you,” she smiles. “You know I can't even believe it,” she confesses. “What the wedding or the end of the world?” “Oh shut up, you know what I meant. I just can’t believe I’m getting married,” she says smiling down at her dress. “I mean I always thought and dreamt of this day and now it’s finally here. Did you feel like this?” Sloane asks looking up at you like a little kid asking for their mom’s advice. “Well truth be told no, but that’s just because Ben and I aren't romantics, unlike you and Luther,” you say playfully rolling your eyes at the last part.

     “So it’s official. My ears are broken and the idiot with knives really can’t sing,” Ben says barging in on you and Sloane’s alone time, the first part making Sloane jump at his sudden appearance. “Diego. You know his name is Diego.” Caught in the middle yet again. “Maybe you should try and be nice to him and the others,” Sloane says running out of patience for Ben. “And why would I do that?” “As much as I’d love to work through your anger issues right now, I have to get back to this. The wedding is in an hour,” she exasperatedly said, patience wearing thinner by the moment. “Fei is dead,” Ben says, reminding you about half of your family being dead and you soon too. “Yeah. I know. And so are the others.” “Oh, so that's it? You’re just gonna turn your back on the Sparrow Academy? I mean you heard Dad. we have training to do. Something big is about to go down.” “Ben, shut up,” you jump in, defending Sloane. “I wish you were talking about my wedding,” Sloane says sadly. “Okay, Sloane listen to me--” “No. You listen to me. I’m sorry they didn't invite you to the bachelor party,” Sloane says ever the nicest person in the room. “I don't…I don't care about that.” “yes, you do,” you and Sloane say in sync. “You care more about being invited to the bachelor party than Fei or the others or even saving the world.” “That's--that's... That's crazy,” Ben says chuckling awkwardly and looking at the ceiling before putting the mask back on and going back to his serious leader act. 

     “Is it? The three of us have never been alone. It's always been the eight of us. Now it’s just you,” Sloane says, Ben scoffing at her. “So congratulations, Ben. you're finally number one of one.” Ben looks at you incredulously, “So you’re not a Sparrow anymore?” “Why would I wanna be one?” you say about to cry for the millionth time today. Ben’s face drops for a second, looking you directly in the eyes, sadness written all over his face. “You don't mean that,” he says quiet enough that Sloane can’t hear. “Maybe I do,” looking at him tears in your eyes. “What’s so damn special about them anyway?” Ben resumes the conversation with Sloane. “They’re a real family. They don't exist to sell action figures and tote bags.” “We were more than that,” Ben tries to defend. “Were we?” No, we weren't. We were only a thing to deter crime (which didnt work) and sell merch. Hell, my own wedding had merch. “Why is it so important to you to be a Sparrow?” that's what pushes Ben to leave, quickly he walks out the door just before trying to grab your hand and pull you along unsuccessfully.

     Time for a wedding! Dressed all fancy in a black gown that you found in one of the abandoned hotel rooms. You haven't spoken to Ben in an hour and a half, only seeing him here for the first time in that hour and a half. “What’s the deal with them?” Klaus leans to Five and asks. “I have no idea, could be because we’re all gonna die,” Five says matter of factly. Standing next to Allison, Ben walks toward you, “You look…so fucking good,” Ben says hoping to make amends. “Thank you. You look good too,” you say smiling while taking a drink of your champagne easing yourself into your night of hard-drinking. Standing next to you Ben grabs your hand and starts playing with your fingers smiling. “Hey. I love you,” he whispers, leaning into your neck causing you to smirk. “Love you too,” you say now giving him a sip of your drink. After that Luther and Viktor arrive, “I don't know. Normally, my tush looks good,” Luther says walking out of the elevator with Viktor. As soon as they walk out Allison and Viktor are already quralling. Luther whispers something to the both of them before raising his voice, saying “Bah, bah, bah! My day! Two hours. Do you think you can manage that?” Viktor replies with a ‘fine.’ 

     The elevator bell rings and everyone faces toward to elevator. The seconds that it takes for the doors to open are painstakingly long, making you anxious and excited to see your sister. This was the day she would meticulously plan out when you two were in your teens, documenting everything she wanted in a large binder down to the lighting, and now it's finally here; albeit at the end of the world and planned over a night and a few hours. Looking at her you smile, “Let’s get this over with before I die of cringe,” Ben interrupts the beautiful scene of Luther seeing Sloane in her dress and the sweet moment the two of you were sharing.

      The marriage was ordained by Klaus who gave a very eventful but meaningful officiant speech. Sitting on the left side next to Ben, you interact whenever Klaus says something that warrants it, such as him yelling “Can I get an amen?” to which everyone except Ben makes noise. Glancing towards him he's pouting again. I’m not his fucking mom, I’m not gonna babysit him the entire night. I actually want to have a good last day. “I pronounce you married as shit! Viva la apocalypse!” Klaus yells as Sloane and Luther kiss, making the tiny crowd cheer. After watching Sloane and Luther have their first dance, you start looking at the food spread; the cookies and brownies catch your eye more than the other foods. After putting the food on your plate (and grabbing a bottle of vodka) you turn around to look where to sit. You could sit with Ben and Allison and have the joy sucked out of you or Diego and Lila and have to deal with their mushy love talk or you could sit with Five, someone who you haven't gotten to know yet. 

     Sitting down across from Five he looks up from his food and nods to acknowledge you. Looking back toward Allison and Ben; the latter staring at you. “So I take it things aren't going so good with Ben and you,” Five comments chowing down on a pastry on the table and taking a looong drink. “Rather not talk about that, right now I just wanna get as fucked up as possible,” you say smirking while sitting the bottle down on the table. “Okay, I have some questions,” you say watching as Five pours himself another drink. “Are you actually like a kid or is it some time-travel fuckery?” you ask the burning question that’s been on your mind since you saw him and Ben fighting. Five goes on to explain the first apocalypse and him being stuck there for 40 years and how he’s actually a 53-year-old man. “Huh. so you’re a little old man,” you say as Viktor sits down next to you.

     Getting up from your seat after talking with your new in-laws, bottle in hand you walk toward Ben’s table and flop down in the seat next to him, setting the bottle between you two. The elevator bell chimes making everyone look over and see Reginald walking in, making the room so silent, even the music. Reginald walks over and gets himself a plate and starts looking for a seat. “What is he doing here?” Ben asks rhetorically.  “But who invited him?” “just sit and suffer with me,” Allison says making you giggle. “I can’t even get invited to a bachelor party and he’s invited to this?” “Wow. you really can't relax,” Allison comments making you giggle again. “Y/n, are you okay?” she asks, making a confused face at you now laying your head on the table. “Oh my god, how are you already drunk?” Ben asks in disbelief. “Well you see, in my grief, I perhaps stumbled upon the open bar and perhaps may have started the celebrating earlier than the rest. I mean come on, we’re on the edge of oblivion and you people expect me not to day drink,” you say smirking “And! I’m not drunk yet.” Leaning on Ben’s shoulder, you watch how awkward the wedding has become, no one making eye contact with Reggie. The awkwardness is semi-broken by Lila and Diego, Lila wanting Diego to introduce them. Watching them was nice, Lila and Reginald actually had things in common and got to talking, impressing Diego.

     After the nice moment between Lila and Reginald, Allison had gotten up leaving you and a now pouting Ben alone. Ben and you had managed to drink almost half the bottle in addition to the numerous glasses of champagne. Now you both were laying your head on the table staring at each other, Ben laying on his plate of shrimp. Klaus soon made his rounds to your table; he had been doing this all night walking from table to table and person to person trying to convince them Reggie is good now. Guess it’s our turn. “Hey, Ben-ihana and lovely little eight,” Klaus starts. “Don't hit me!” he jokes sitting down at your table. “I know we all ain’t been best buds in this timeline or whatever, but man, do I have a mission for you--” Ben interrupts him by belching verrry loudly in his face making you giggle, still laying on the table. “Eleven people,” Ben says ominously making Klaus question. “There are only eleven people left,” “Ten and a half, I’m not all here at the moment,” you say making Klaus chuckle. “Okay. Drunk Ben clearly likes numbers and… shrimp,” Klaus says still trying to recover from Ben’s shrimp burp. 

     “And you couldn't even invite me to your stupid bachelor party.” “Oh. Have we finally flicked off bad Benny’s hard candy shell?” Klaus says rubbing his arm. “Why don't you like me? Or us?” Ben asks making you move next to his shoulder, cheek touching his jacket looking at Klaus. “Because you’re huge puckering assholes.” “Okay, but you like the other Ben and y/n,” Ben says annoyed and clearly sad. “Yeah, we love the other yous,” Klaus says with a hint of sadness. “Why? What’s so special about them?” “Because he was a know-it-all. He was a scold. He was a tiny dark cloud on a perfect sunny day,” Klaus laughs after that. “What about me? What was so special about the other me?” you ask now becoming increasingly curious and intrigued. “Oh my god, they were a pain. An emo with a preference for sulking and being pretentious in a corner. Know-it-all just like Benny,” Klaus explains about you, well the other you. “Those.. those are all bad things about us,” Ben says after looking down at his shrimp. “Yeah, and they looked great on you two.” “Okay, you know what? We are so much better than that other Ben and y/n. I was number one--” “Twice,” you interject. “And-and they ripped people’s throats out.” “Oh yeah, did that all the time in my timeline. Does Dad give a shit?” Klaus says before asking Ben. “No. he was busy hanging out with you” Ben whispers poking Klaus. “Oh, man, methinks you might be trying a little too hard. Look around. Nobody’s polishing their boots or pressing their tights. We’re a complete and total shit show. Ya get it? And our Ben and y/n, my Ben and y/n, were just that kind of disaster and it made them ridiculously easy to love,” Klaus says, sighing at the thought of his deceased siblings, before getting up to leave you two alone. 

     The speeches started after Klaus left and went back to Lila and Diego’s table. Reginald was first, talking about Sloane when she was little, calling Luther adequate, and talking about how he wishes that his shortcomings will be seen only as a rough patch. “I’m proud to call you my children, even those I raised in a revenant version of myself,” Reginald continues, glancing around the room before stopping on you, making you look toward Ben in disbelief. Holy shit, the man that wouldn't even acknowledge that Ben and I are married called me his child! Reggie’s speech continues and finally ends with a poem, Allison leaves making everyone look toward the walking woman. “Makes, no sense,” Ben says still eating his many shrimp as everyone starts applauding at Reginald’s newfound kindness. “All right! All right! Time to turn those frowns upside down. This one is for all my party people in the place,” the concierge turned now wedding D.J says, as everyone gets up and starts dancing on the dancefloor. 

     Dancing around with your new family and husband felt nice, it felt like it was just a normal wedding on a normal day. After all of the fast and upbeat songs played then started the slow songs. Arms wrapped around Ben’s neck while his arms around your waist the both of you sway drunkenly together. Looking up at him, you plant a small kiss on the end of his scar making him smile, and put his face into your neck and start kissing it. “Noooo, stop,” you say smiling and pushing him away jokingly. “No, come back here,” he says pulling you back before snuggling his face back into your neck. Leaving the dancefloor you and Ben go back to your seat. While sitting and drunkenly talking Klaus shows up and the three of you start walking around the hotel property.

     Towards the end of the night Klaus, you, and Ben arrive back at the wedding noticeably more drunk than before. “Oh no no no no no!” someone shouts. “Klaus, why are you bringing Ben here?” Five asks. “Hear me out before--” “Hear him out,” you and Ben shout in sync as you take your shared cigarette away from Ben. “The brother that you all knew as Ben is gone. And not-- I don’t mean our Ben, the nice Ben. I mean this Ben, he’s gone now. The asshole, he’s gone now,” Klaus exclaims. “But that's what I liked about you, my asshole,” you say sadly looking at Ben. “Klaus, what are you talking about?” Luther asks. Klaus ignoring his question continues, “And the man that stands in front of you is new new Ben, and he’s one of us, and he’s a member of the team. And he’s part of the family!” Ben and Klaus shout the last statement in unison. “And as a welcome gift, I suggest we throw him off the roof,” Five says making you laugh. “Ha! They like me more!” you gloat at Ben. “Yeah, I’ll help,” Diego agrees with Five. “You know what. You know what. He can stay. He can stay,” Luther says. “And baby eight?” Klaus says holding your shoulders and giving puppy eyes. “They’ve been welcome to stay,” Diego says making you smile as you walk over with Klaus and Ben.

    Almost as soon as you sit down everyone starts heading to bed. Standing up you pull Ben along with you, “I’m ‘sleepy’ if you get my meaning,” you say to Ben too loudly. Taking a moment to understand what you meant, Ben then realizes it, “huh? Sleepy? But-- Oh!” he says before speed walking with you toward to elevator.

Taglist highlighted means unable to tag: @0x1lovesonq @bryannabarradas @onmyumbrellaacademyfanera @4okkotsu @gloriousstudentoperamug @j-panic @salted-fis @siriusly-rem-writes @gamingdevil101 @sanguinelabyrinth @muzanslander12 @mihhggvggh @choichaeyiul @mitsuri-darling @birbtweettweet @choclate32 @ddeonubaby @nao-cchi @i-bitch-you-bitch @mylesofasgard @darlingsuna @blogname197 @mivzai @emmeowo @yanelly1085 @mukbee @aceofspades190 @jui36oxx @iamasimpsstuff @hawkinsbylers @fanficwritersworld @natsgaygf @divergentnewt23 @fantasyfiction-net @electronicvoidcat @benarino @papaskazoo @cole-silas @strawberryheartsstuff 

[mollysunder]

Everytime it Wasn't Swain

After rewatching Arcane, I decided to make a list for everytime Swain was almost there. You thought he was being alluded to, but he wasn't, it was actually something else. Or was it?

1. The Crows

Swain has ravens, not crows, there just happen to be a suspiciously large quantity of crows, for a port city, instead of seagulls. As the show went on, the arrival of crows became synonymous with Jinx's presence and vice versa. It's not hard to see why, crows are intelligent and naturally social birds that do well in urban ecosystems, they just have a mixed reputation as good and bad omens. On a narrative level, the presence of crows does have interesting implications. Crows and ravens are easily confused for the other if you don't know what to look for. And the more I read about Swain, the more I notice that he and Jinx (in Arcane) are similar in some regards. Not just the fact they killed and maimed their family members, that's not uncommon for League backstories for some reason. From a storytelling standpoint, they both serve as living embodiment of their respective nations, good and bad, that other characters have to react to. And it was their actions that changed the trajectory of their nations.

What's even more interesting is that crows and raven in real life don't get along, they're incredibly territorial and avoid one another. If they do cross paths, crows are more likely to pick a fight with ravens. Despite the raven being bigger, crows band together in large groups to fend off ravens from their nesting areas, sort of like they harass them away. Food for thought.

2. The Man Named Jericho but not Swain

This one was cute. It took me a while to realize that they both had the same first name, except Swain has a last name, which is Swain. The first time his name was mentioned was when Vi and Caitlyn were on the search for Silco, but Vi was really on the search for Jinx. Funny enough, Jericho's apron and pants looks like the Jinx's outfit. I know plenty of people wear pinstripes in Zaun, but the black triangle with the 'X' in the center was pretty on the nose. On one hand this shot could foreshadow the way Jinx's actions come between Caitlyn and Vi. On the other, that's not as fun, and I want to know if this makes Jericho a Jinx stan! Seriously, maybe it's another hint at the way Zaun and Noxus are similar threats to Piltover, just in different clothes. Or Swain's a Jinx stan too!

3. The Palette Portrait

I've watched Arcane more than once and never managed to see it before, and wasn't too sure it was Swain until I outlined the figure myself. There he is long white hair, red magic hand, widow's peak, and sharp profile. In context, this is part of the scene where Mel is aggressively painting while Jayce apologizes for leaving her alone in bed the night Viktor collapsed. It's the first time Jayce and the audience sees her paint, and is essentially one of the first moments we get to see a part of her inner life. In this exact shot she says, "There's a lot you don't know about me". I'd say pretty on the nose to say this is foreshadowing her past connections to Noxus. But there's small things that are off, for example, Swain is draped in red rather than a severe black. And his face is dark while he's a white man, the color choices actually fit Ambessa more than Swain. Another fake out? Or maybe it means that there's no difference between people like Swain and Ambessa in the grand scheme of Noxus' war machine.

All in all I found three times Swain's presence was almost confirmed, but instead was something or someone else. There was always one or two details off to make it so. Each time there was an "almost Swain" connection, it was usually in association with Jinx or Mel, a cast member actually from Noxus. Swain, or at least the concept of Swain, seems to haunt the Mel's past and Jinx's future.

[sortofanobsession]

Will o’ the Wisp - Ch. 5 (Umbrella Academy WIP)

Author’s Note: Still chipping away at this one, I have sooooo much written but there are missing scenes that I end up having to dig through clips, transcripts, and even gif sets, to sort out dialog. So I'm sorry that it takes so long. Also from now on I'm just going to use Viktor. Some pronouns might be wrong, because I'm still sorting through everything, but I'm trying. I have rewritten the first four chapters with hopefully correct pronouns. You can find that here and in the series masterlist. Not that there is really any mention of Viktor in this chapter oddly enough. It's Man on the Moon plot points, so it's looking for Five & Klaus, while Luther & Diego argue. So that's fun. Enjoy. Unbeta'd as always.

Minors DNI

So as it goes, Y/N = your name. Y/N/N = your nickname.  Reader pronouns She/Her.

Tag Requests are Open just message me.

Primary Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Female!Reader (Slow Burn)

Series/TUA Masterlist

Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 6

Word count: 3k+

Content Warning: Death, Blood, drinking, drunk behavior, vomiting, knives, arguing, sibling rivalry, guilt, cussing/swearing, canon typical neglect, manipulation, violence, angst, anger.

Chapter 5: Tough Talk and Touchy Subjects

“Like I said, Master Luther,” Pogo tells Luther as they look around Five’s room. “Number Five hasn't lived in this room since he was a boy.”

“Yeah, I know, but we need to warn him,” Luther explains. “He doesn't even know we were attacked. He doesn't know they're looking for him - he doesn't know -”

“What are you doing here?” Diego asks.

 “Uh,” Luther starts. “Do you know about Mom?”

“Well, It looks like you got what you wanted,” Diego states. “One way or another, right?"

"Wanna tell me what you're doing here?” Luther shifts the topic.

“Looking for Five,” Diego answers.

“Let me guess," Luther continues. "You're gonna save the day.”

“It's what I do," Diego responds. “Asshole.”

“Really?” Luther counters. “Last I checked, you mopped floors.”

“And what do you do? Sit on the moon for four years, waiting for orders?”

Diego is not buying it.“Keep on being a loyal soldier after everything our father did to you.”

“What? You mean save my life?” Luther inquires.

“No, I mean…turn you into a monster.”

“Can’t hide it anymore, champ.”

Luther punches the armoire.  

Pogo shakes his head.

“He had a difficult decision to make, and he made it.”

“Grow up, Luther, we’re not 13 anymore.”

“That’s what leaders do, by the way.”

“He sent you on that mission all alone. Almost got you killed.”

“Yeah, well, at least he was there. Where were you? You and everyone else in this family? You walked out.”

“And thank Christ that I did, or I would have ended up just like you.” 

“Let me ask you a question.” Diego starts. “When you watch one of these nature shows-”

“Diego, please,” Pogo tries.

“Does it turn you on?” Diego finishes his question.

“So what? Is he just an animal to you, too now, Diego, huh?” Luther gestures to Pogo. 

“Don't.”

“Enough! This house was attacked,” Pogo chastises them. “We barely got out with our lives.

And Grace, she wasn't so lucky. Your brother is missing, and this is how you rise to the occasion? Take your nonsense elsewhere. Now.”

“Sorry, Pogo.”

“Yeah, sorry, Pogo.”

"Diego took it too far again?" Y/N asks Pogo when she sees him following her brothers out of Five’s room.

"I am afraid so. Called Master Luther a Monster. Said some dreadful things."

“Do I need to babysit them?” 

“Probably,” he admits.

“I'll make sure they don't kill each other,” she sighs. "Apparently, the one thing they agree on is that I am fragile."

"You are injured, Miss Y/N."

"I will try not to undo your handy work. Luther can do the heavy lifting, and Diego never lets me do anything anyway. I'll behave." 

“Where’re you going?” She asks Luther as she sees him heading out.

He seems to weigh his options. “Looking for Five.”

“You know I can do that easier than anyone else here,” she states.

“Then come on,” he says.

“Good, because I was already going to follow you guys anyway.”

“Then why ask?” 

“Because it’s less rude, duh.” She shakes her head but smiles. “Lead the way, big guy.”

They meet up with Diego.

“This is it.” 

“He's still here.”

“This is Five's van.” 

She tries not to laugh as they both try to go through the van at the same time and get in each other’s way.

“You know it would go faster if you just let me-” she starts.

“No,” both her number one and number two brother say in unison. 

“But-”

“No!” they say again. 

She sulks or at least seems to, as she goes to the other side of the van and leans against it. She pulls the hood of her jacket up and checks to ensure they aren’t paying attention to her. They were too busy both trying to be in control of what was happening. She leans her forehead against the side of the van, so they are less likely to notice her eyes glowing. She sends out a few Wisps to search for her brothers. She finds it odd that she doesn’t find either Five or Klaus initially but doesn’t get to finish her search.

“Seriously?” Diego shakes her good arm, drawing her focus back to herself, and the glow leaves her irises. “We have a lead.”

“Where? I can check it-”

“No, you’re already pushing it as is.”

“I’m fine,” she tells him. 

“Are you?” Diego asks, skepticism clear in his tone.

She shakes her head and changes the topic. "Are we good or…"

He sighs but nods. "Stitches?" he nods at the arm, knowing there is a freshly wrapped wound under her jacket and bandages.

She considered lying. Pogo had helped her when things had calmed down. But if he found out she was lying, Diego would not be happy. “Just a couple,” she admits. “It mainly needed to be cleaned and covered. Stings a bit, but you know how it is. It’s not that bad."

"If you say so," he shrugs. He doesn’t believe her. But he has hope that she’d tell him if it was too much to handle on her own.

"Though Luther did come to check on me since he missed your whole blow-up, and Allison must have filled him in." She nods towards where their brute of a brother is just out of earshot. 

"You two having heart-to-hearts now?"

She laughed. "Maybe, any good I did, you probably undid. A monster? Really? I worked so hard to convince him he isn't a freak. You are lucky. You look like just a crazy dude with a knife kink.”

“Screw you,” he hisses, venom clear in his tone. 

She grins but continues to make her point. “You don't have to live with people constantly looking at you like a freak. If he is a monster, so is the Wisp. So am I. Because I make everyone uncomfortable. People avoid being anywhere near me. Luther and I are what Reginald Hargreeves made us into. We don't have the choice to not be anything else. So take your attitude and shove where the sun don’t shine, pendejo. This is why Pogo agreed you two needed a babysitter."

"We do not. And admit it, this is just how you are. You hover. Sometimes spy. It’s one of the many consistent things about you. That and you broadcast your emotions. Not always a bad thing. Always helpful to have a glaringly obvious tell so I know when I've pushed one too many buttons, but you'd be shit a poker. You couldn't bluff if you tried." 

"Gee, thanks for such a sweet compliment, brother of mine," She couldn't help but laugh. 

"It’s a positive in my book, never have to worry about you lying to me. You always give it to me straight. No bullshit. And you've never pulled your punches anyway. And that's something I've always admired."

"Aww, I kind of like this new Diego, or at least this new to me, still a bit grumpy, but adorable, Diego. Go on, tell me I'm pretty now or that-" He rolls his eyes at her comment but doesn't miss the way the glow of the Wisp warmed ever so slightly at his words. He'd take that for a win. They didn't have many of those these days. 

He shakes his head. "You had to ruin it, you couldn't just let me not be an asshole or a jerk like you always point out."

"I should get shot more often if it gets you guys to be nice," she says.

"Don't even joke," he glares at her. "That's not even remotely funny." 

"Awww, you do care," she grins and nudges his shoulder with her good one.

"Never said I didn't," he states.

"I know," she agrees. 

“We going or what?” Luther shouts at them. 

They follow the lead and end up at the library.

She resists the urge to roll her eyes as her brothers, who usually argue, both take up essentially mirroring stances to keep her shielded behind them. 

"Guys, it's just a library," she points out.

"The past few days, a donut shop, a department store, and our home have all been shot up," Diego states.

"And you got shot at one of those," Luther points out.

"Not taking any chances," Diego tells her. 

"Exactly," Luther agrees.

"I don't know if it is fascinating or infuriating that the two of you agree, and of course, it has to be about my safety," she grumbles. “Which isn’t even in jeopardy right now.”

“Yet,” Diego adds.

"Was bound to happen someday," Luther shrugs.

"Can I just-"

"How often do I have to say no?" Diego says. She looks at Luther, and he shakes his head. It isn't long before the two brothers start arguing. She doesn't stop them because it means they aren't focusing on her.

“You wanna know why I left?” Diego asks Luther. Y/N looked back and forth between her brothers. She remembers they had argued in Five's room. Pogo had stopped it. She figures this had been building all day and, despite being in public, it was probably best to just let them sort it out as she searched the building with her powers. If they got physical. She’d intervene as best she could, but the last thing she wanted to do was accidentally destroy or burn down a library. 

“What? What are you talking about?” Luther is unsure. 

“Why I left the Academy,” Diego clarifies.

“Yeah, ‘cause you couldn’t handle me being Number One,” Luther answers.

“No. Because that’s what you do when you’re 17,” Diego says like it is the most obvious thing in the world. And she thinks it might be for most people. Unfortunately, they aren’t most people. Diego continues, “You move out, become your own person, grow up.”

“Oh yeah. You’re a real grown-up,” Luther quips. 

Y/N snorts a laugh at that but covers it as a cough. 

“At least I make my own decisions.”

“You’ve never had to hold down a job, pay bills. Even Y/N does that, and she glows like a bug zapper.”

“Rude,” she grumbles but shuts up as soon as Diego makes his next point.

“You ever even been with a girl?” Diego asks Luther. “Look, you wanna blame me, blame us for leaving…that’s okay. But maybe you’re asking yourself the wrong question. Maybe it’s not about why we left. Maybe it’s about why you stayed.”

“I stayed because the world needed me,” Luther states.

“You stayed because you couldn’t let go of the way things used to be. The Academy. Dad. With Allison.”

She sighs as the orbs search. Ignoring the shocked looks the lights get from patrons. 

“Dad’s dead. Mom too, now. We’re orphans again, dude." Diego hasn't stopped. "And things are never gonna go back the way they used to be.”

“Do you ever stop talking?” Luther asks. 

She clears her throat. “You two done?” She glares at them as her eyes clear and her glow returns. “Two things, one, I found him. Two, for the record, I left because I refused to constantly spy on everyone after they left. You were right, Luther. It violated everyone’s privacy. I didn't like leaving, but I had to. I couldn’t do it anymore.” She walked off in the direction the orbs had found Five. Trusting them to follow. She ignores the people she knows are talking about them. She rounds the corner and gestures to where Five is passed out in a corner.

“Is he…um…” Luther starts.

“Drunk as a skunk,” Diego grins.

“And here I thought we agreed he wasn’t supposed to do stupid things without me,” she sighs as she gets closer to Five to check on him. “This at least seems more fun than being stuck with you two.”

“Rude. And you make that deal with everyone nowadays,” Diego points out.

“Yeah, well, it seemed necessary. We need to get him out of here because someone was going to call security when I was searching. So let's get going.” She starts to gather up the things around Five. Trusting Luther to do the heavy lifting.

She goes ahead of them and ends up apologizing to the staff. She even uses the dead parents card and assures them it won't happen again. They get away without having the cops called.

“Well, we can't go back to the house. It's not secure,” Luther explains when she catches up with them. “Those psychopaths could come back at any moment.”

“My place is closer,” Diego says. “No one will look for him there.”

Y/N winces as Five belches and holds his stuff tighter to her chest.

“If you vomit on me-” Luther starts to threaten. 

“You know what's funny?”

“What’s funny, Five?” she asks.

“Aah! I'm going through puberty." 

"Not sure funny is the right word," she considers as he continues.

“Twice. And I,” Five chuckles. “I drank that whole bottle, didn't I?” 

"Mhmm." She adds, keeping pace beside Luther.

“That's what you do when the world you love goes bye-bye.”

“Poof, it's gone.”

“I know you’ve been through more than any of us could imagine, but we need to talk to you about something. Something important,” she tries to lead the conversation to what they really need to talk about.”

Her more direct sibling adds, “Two masked intruders attacked the Academy last night. They came looking for you.”

“And they shot Y/N,” Diego, of course, bluntly states, causing her to cringe. “So I need you to focus. What do they want?”

“Hazel and Cha-Cha,” Five states.

“Who?” 

“You know, I hate code names.”

“Of course, I get shot by dumbasses with names like Hazel and Cha-Cha,” she mumbles.

“Ah, the best of the best. Except for me, of course.”

“I like to think you wouldn’t shoot me,” she adds.

“Focus, Luz,” Diego says. 

“The best of what?”

“You know, Delores always said she hated when I drink. You should've made me a Shirley - “Hey!” Diego really tries to get him to focus.

“Hm? Yeah?”

She rolls her eyes and uses the Wisp to try to get his attention. She’d learned a long time ago most inebriated individuals tend to love the lights and colors. Or she’d make him puke. That was also a possibility.   

“Five, hey, listen to me. I need you to focus, okay?” She says, a bit more gentle with her request than her brother.

“What do this Hazel and Cha-Cha want?” 

“We just wanna protect you,” Diego tells him.

“Protect me. I don't need your protection, Diego. Do you have any idea how many people I've killed?"

"No," Diego answers. 

"I'm the Four frickin' Horsemen," Five states. "The apocalypse is coming.”

She moves the Wisp away quickly as Five vomits. 

Luther puts a passed-out Five down on Diego’s bed. Diego sets the mannequin, Delores, as they had gleaned, down on a chair.

“Funny. If I didn’t know he was such a prick,” Diego says. “I’d say he looks almost adorable in his sleep.”

“Well, don’t worry. He’ll sober up eventually,” Luther states. “Be back to his normal, unpleasant self.” 

“Yeah, I can't wait that long,” Diego says. “I need to find out what his connection is with these lunatics before someone else dies.”

“All that stuff he was saying before,” he says. She looks up when she hears thumping overhead. “What do you think he meant by that?” Then they hear footsteps. Al opens the door.

Al says. “You throw another one of those goddamn knives at me. I'm pressin' charges.”

“What do you want, Al?” Diego asks.

“I ain't your secretary,” Al states.

“Yeah,” Diego acknowledges. 

“Some lady called for you, said she needs your help,” Al tells him.

“What lady?”

“I dunno.” Al says. “Some, uh, detective.”

Even Y/N is getting frustrated by now. 

“I think she said her name was, uh, Blotch or somethin',” Al adds.

“Patch? She needs my help.” Diego goes up to see the note Al had.

“She needs you to meet her at that motel, a dump on Calhoun.” 

Y/N is already moving towards the door, half a plan forming since she already has a location. 

“When?” Diego asks. 

“About half an hour ago,” Al continues. “Uh, said she found your brother.”

“Well, that didn't make sense.”

“Klaus,” the siblings all say. 

She sends the Wisp on ahead. 

“Go,” Luther starts.

“Already on it,” she says as she goes to follow Diego. She catches the door before it can slam shut.

“I’ll wait here with…” Luther continues more to himself than anyone else. “Him.” He pats Delores on the head.

The full form of the Wisp hovered over the horrific scene in the motel room. Detective Patch was on the floor in pool of her own blood. She was too still. Too far gone. The Wisp searches the room at near-light speed. Klaus was nowhere to be found. 

She shifted her focus to following Diego up to the room. 

“Diego, wait!” she starts, hoping to at least warn him about what he is about to see, but he ignores her and rushes into the room. He goes to try and help Patch, but she was already gone. He loses his composure and gets angry. 

“I’m sorry, Diego,” she says. To give him a moment to come to terms with Patch dying, she switches to the Wisp to check the area for Klaus. She doesn’t find him but finds that the police are well on their way.

“We have to go, Diego,” she says as she pulls some of herself back to her body, using the Wisp to monitor how close they are. “Cops will be here any minute.”

She isn’t sure he hears her as he looks around the room. Diego finds a receipt for the same donut shop that was attacked a few nights before.

“Diego,” she tugs his arm. He doesn’t fight her as she pulls him out the door. He lets her guide them out of there as the police get closer. He knows she can see more than he can as she uses the Wisp to find the best route. Once out of danger, she drops his arm and looks at him. He might not seem like it, but she knows he’s hurting. She knows his stoic demeanor is masking his grief and his anger.

“I’m not going to ask if you’re okay,” she starts.

“I’m fine,” he grits out.

“You’re not, but that’s understandable,” she corrects. She can tell he is gearing up for a fight by the way his shoulders tense. She sighs. If she tries to get him to talk, he’ll fight her. So she does the only thing she can think of that might help him. She hugs him. He freezes.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get there soon enough. I…I should have used the Wisp sooner. I could have bought her some extra time. I could have-”

“Don’t-” he hisses but doesn’t pull away. He actually accepts the hug. 

“Okay,” she relents. She doesn’t want to fight him, not after what he just went through. She stays there as long as he needs. “I’m sorry.”

[werewoofers]

Dad Sent Me to the Moon (Season One)

While rewatching season one and two of The Umbrella Academy in preparation for season three, I decided to write down every time it is mentioned that Luther was sent to the moon. The final result is a pretty informal list of all the mentions in season one. There are not any timestamps but some basic scene descriptions are provided.

A few honorable mentions include the moon photos in Luther’s room; the moon appearing in the background of several important scenes; and Viktor blowing up the moon in the finale.

EPISODE 1 SEASON 1

Does Luther’s entrance of being on the moon count?

Allison mentions Luther being on the moon when he doesn’t know about her divorce that happened 8 months ago.

Diego mentions Luther being sent to the moon during the “funeral” and says it’s because Reginald hated Luther.

EPISODE 2 SEASON 1

Luther confesses he doesn’t know what to do with himself “being back down here” while speaking with Allison as she’s packing to go back to her daughter.

Allison read books about the moon to Claire and said Luther lived up there.

EPISODE 3 SEASON 1

Diego saying low gravity in space messed with Luther’s vision while they watch the tape of Reginald dying.

Luther is seen staring up at the moon from the window Allison was smoking at earlier; this entire scene is about him living on the moon and telling Allison about it. He mentions how lonely it is, but that it did have a certain beauty.

EPISODE 4 SEASON 1

Well, the episode is literally called “Man on the Moon.”

Diego uses Luther being on the moon as another insult while they’re in Five’s room looking for him. “What do you do? Sit on the moon. For four years. Waiting for orders.”

EPISODE 5 SEASON 1

Cha-Cha mentions Luther lived on the moon after reading Viktor’s book.

Luther talks about being alone on the moon in relation to Five being alone during the apocalypse. Says that the 4 years on moon was more than enough for him, and he can’t imagine Five spending all that time alone.

EPISODE 6 SEASON 1

Luther says that his time on the moon must have meant something while the family is discussing the apocalypse.

Luther is digging through one of the many rooms in the Academy looking for all the samples and information he sent down from the moon. Pogo comes in and shows Luther the truth about where his packages went.

Allison enters the room where Luther has opened many of the packages from his trip to the moon. He’s very distraught as he explains what he’s found.

EPISODE 7 SEASON 1

Luther wants to stay behind from hunting Harold to look for why Reginald sent him to the moon.

We return to the scene of Luther finding out his research on the moon was useless.

Luther says Diego is right and that Reginald sent him up to the moon because he couldn’t stand the sight of him.

Klaus (while dead and receiving a shave from Reginald) calls out Reginald for sending Luther up to the moon for nothing.

EPISODE 8 SEASON 1

Klaus jokes that there’s not a lot of ladies on the moon after finding out Luther lost his virginity.

Klaus mentions Luther got sent to the moon for no reason when trying to convince the others that Reginald killed himself.

Luther says he was sent to the moon for no reason when confronting Pogo after Pogo confirms Klaus is right about Reginald killing himself.

Luther says he did his time on the moon because he believed “dad’s don’t lie to their kids.” This scene takes place in a bar where Diego is trying to convince Luther to save the world (and Allison).

EPISODE 9 SEASON 1

No moon mentions!

EPISODE 10 SEASON 1

Luther explains to Allison he just found out he got sent to the moon for nothing when rambling about why he slept with the woman from the rave.

[conduitandconjurer]

least favorite sibling?

I don't actually dislike ANY of the Umbrellas. Admittedly, the Sparrows didn't do much for me (aside Ben, of course, once he and Klaus started hanging out), but I believe keeping them more one-dimensional was a conscious choice on the part of the writers.

However, the sibling whose character arc I have the most trouble accepting is still Luther. And I don't blame Luther for this, I blame the TUA writing staff for being off the mark. I can tell they intended for Luther to seem like he is breaking away from the misguidedly loyal, controlling "Number One" that Reginald (whom I DO hate, completely and unironically) forced him to play. They wanted his marriage to Sloane to be seen as a wholesome step outside of the toxic family echo chamber. They wanted him to seem like a big sweet golden retriever once he relaxed and just decided to be himself and not a leader (since frankly Five is a much better Number One and always has been). They wanted him to seem supportive of Klaus, the sibling who, in this season, had arguably the biggest existential weight on his shoulders.

For me, I could see that earnest effort, but it still fell flat. It just seemed like they were trying to make Luther ....dumber???? And less of an independent, functioning adult. And still someone who falls back on physical force to get his way, because he's too flustered to think of any other contingency plan.

Allison was obviously the villain of this season, but I'm not judging likability here (again, I like them all), I'm judging the success of a character arc, and development from one point to the other. Sometimes that involves DEVOLUTION into being a WORSE person, and with Allison, this was executed FLAWLESSLY. I watched her fall, I knew it was happening, I frantically wanted someone to help her, I hated what I knew she would do (and did do), but I still understood and sympathized with it. I felt horrible for her, but I could also not blame or demonize Viktor. To me that is the mark of truly superb writing. If both characters in a major plot conflict are sympathetic, and you can’t “pick a side?” That is the BEST writing (And no, I am not condoning Allison’s attempted sexual assault of Luther. That should be made VERY clear). 

And I wish Luther had gotten just a little more air time to just BE LUTHER, instead of become part of a very rushed romantic subplot (which was admittedly cute and touching and characteristically a stupid Umbrella sib move, but detracted from a real arc). Instead it's somehow funny that he's screaming at and bullying Klaus in the afterlife, and all that comes across to me is how kind and generous Klaus is to be in a place where he legitimately believes he is a "freak" who should just "stay dead," but still decides to comply with Luther for the sake of the family, and helps Luther contact Sloane while he himself is bleeding out on the floor of Oblivion. Everything about that scenario just highlights how great Klaus is (and I mean I'm not complaining, he's my favorite) and leaves all of Luther's alleged development only implied, not shown.

I know a lot of people disagree with me here, but it just didn't work for me. Luther is still the most one-dimensional character. And I think the staff knows this on some level, and that's why they had Klaus (the fan favorite) run off with Luther in the season finale rather than with Five or Diego, with whom Klaus has always been closer.

I also think Ben's character is left underdeveloped. But somehow with Ben it works better because he's also a tragic figure, and in 3 x 08 they cleverly had Klaus talk to Sparrow Ben about the sort of person his dead brother was, flaws and all. That one scene went far in fleshing Ben out.

I rambled. Hope this makes sense, LOL.

[anthosvtr]

Glory to all underground associative movie theater

In 2018 thanks to a little associative theater near where I lived, I fortunately discovered the movie "Leto" by Kirill Serebrennikov. At first I wasn’t even supposed to go out this night, but my whole family was away at a soccer game and I was dreadfully bored. While I didn’t hear about this movie before, I was deeply interested about it. In fact, at that time, any movie set in the 70s/80s and talking about music was a catch for me. So i grabbed my keys and with only thirty-five min left for a forty-minutes trip to the theater I ran. Gladly thanks to the trailer playing beforehand, I didn’t miss any minutes of it. Once I sat in that middle row I knew I was in for a good moment.

Leto, which faithfully translate to summer/summertime, is a movie set in soviet russia and tells the origin story behind the Russian rock band Kino. More precisely through the glance of a love triangle that forms between a rock'n'roll musician (Mike Naumenko, Zoopark singer), his protege (Viktor Tsoi, who will, soon became Kino lead singer), and his wife (Natasha Naumenko). The chosen name "Leto" also come from the most famous Kino song Leto "summer will be over soon".

Leto movie poster Leto, by Kirill Serebrennikov, 2018.

The movie starts just like a summer would, we discover the leading characters in a beach party scene where Viktor Tsoï meet Mike Naumenko for what’s seem the first time. Even thought, Mike is already a prominent musician in the local rock scene in Moscow, the key focus seems to already be on Viktor Tsoï who intrigues Mike but also his wife, Natasha. This introducing scene feature Mike singing. While the song seems to start peacefully by describing a summer day, the tones suddenly switch in a way that immediately set the anxious soviet environment at that time, with lyrics such as

«I recently heard someone say, There’s a comet on the way,  Gonna blow us all to bits».

This anxious environment is emphasized by the fully black and white color scheme that the movie adopts, it also appear as a nod to the famous brutalism architecture that were omnipresent at that time in Russia. 

In the movie, Russia appears as a grey and depressing country which only show colors through the lense of rock music. The only moment of joy seems to remain the ones that are topped by rock music. The movie briefly shows us that people used to run illegal record markets. It consisted of making pirates copy of rock record that were banned in Soviet Russia at that time. Sometimes, rock isn’t enough to infringe the rules, and we are reminded of the strict atmosphere through small details. In fact, during the first concert that is shown, we see that some sort of officials force attendees are present to restrain the spectators. So that they could not express too much excitement and remains sat down during the show. Since Russia was under a cold war with the west, foreign cultural movement such as rock were seen as propaganda and forbidden under any form. Russian bands could only performed in Communist Party-licensed clubs and everything was strictly supervised.

The scene that really stuck with me, is the scene that take place in what appear to be a railway carriage. While some of the main characters act obnoxiously loud, we can see that the oldest generation present on the train seems to castigate them for acting as westernized clowns. The characters, in what seem to be a hallucination scene, soon cover “Psycho Killer“ by Talking Heads. Swiftly, we are taken away by the song and the lyrics that are appearing in screaming letters behind. Some dribbles unexpectedly appear outside of the strict framework of the movie.

Extract from the railway carriage moment, Leto, by Kirill Serebrennikov, 2018, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj_c9z9JQ3M&t=105s

The utterly chaotic scene chiefly serves as a way to respond to this old generation that seems to take comfort in this dictatorship situation.

Thanks to this movie I got to discover the band Kino, which I now, listen to religiously. I could never thank enough this little movie theater that, one day, decided to be the only to show this movie near me. Forthwith, I must end by saying all the glory to underground theater!

≈ 3300 without space september, 24th 2023

[isolated-bug]

Hello! I’m so sorry for bothering you but I remember in some of your posts when your were talking about the Arcane visual novel you mentioned that there was a sweet silco and jinx moment about him being concerned for her health or something. I can’t find it for the life of me. Would you be so kind as to point me in the right direction so I can find it or share a screen shot? Also, if you have any extra thoughts on it I would love for you to share a little? It’s completely up to you. Thank you for your time!

hey there! never apologize for sending me asks, I love them!!! sorry for the late reply.. it has been a bit of an anxiety week for me >.<

yes!! so there was a web browser game that was a self insert. I have seen it being labeled as “Into the Arcane”, “Browser Game”, “Arcane X Riot”, “Visual Novel” and any combination of those things lol. Its inaccessible now as it was only able to be played for a limited time.. i think maybe a week or two? Essentially, you as the player were pulled through an arcane magic portal and you are running around trying to help Jayce, Viktor, and Heimerdinger fix the portals and restore balance and order.

in your investigation you identify Jinx as being the culprit to the troubles and chase her down. Now the dialogue changes depending on the answers you choose and i struggled to find anyone who had screenshots or video of the responses i chose but here is an example. I pulled the screenshots below from this video. The link is queued up at the timestamp when this closing scene begins: https://youtu.be/MJ7NGz6UYH8?t=511

and just for shits and giggles here is a different persons video of it where they choose slightly different options: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OufrkTPuhJM

So this is the normal preset. Everyone gets this part. Basically you enter the environment and walk up on them arguing. Silco is aware of the magic because you had previously gone to him with suspicion so its assumed here that he is scolding Jinx after connecting the dots from the information you shared with him during your accusations. Basically Silco is insisting that this power isnt worth it and that Jinxs life is at risk if she doesnt give it up because the magic is unstable and is slowly tearing her apart.

Silco tries reassuring her and cut through her self doubt and its basically another iteration of the ‘you’re perfect’ line. Jinx is sassy and argues back, you get to choose a path on how you respond to Jinx’s sass and that will start up the ending.

You then get to make a choice again on how you will combat Jinx trying to use the magic. This will effect the outcome of how the story dialogue plays

Silco insists you leave Jinx alone, concerned about her safety

And the ending is kinda odd.. Heimerdinger, Jayce, and Viktor all offer commentary after this last screenshot and Viktor says “Whoever She was, remember that Jinx was once a person” which is really wierd and makes it sound like she is dead. Then after that they just sorta pat you on the back and say “welp, lets get you home!” but when the auto prompts are all done you see Jinx and Silco hanging out next to each other and if you click on Silco to prompt dialogue he basically tells you to fuck off

So my thoughts on this are that, while this is not a canon storyline, it is still an official piece of AU content from RIOT and to me, that means that the scenery and the character behaviors are still reliable insights into the world of Arcane from the show.

There is also a video floating around that i saw on twitter posted by the official Arcane account called “Arcane Script to Screen: Act 3″ https://twitter.com/i/status/1464292879807827969

Looking at the script to screen and the interactions in the browser game/visual novel thing its totally clear to me and irrefutable that Silco truly did care for Jinx and saw her as his family. He truly prioritized her well-being above his ambitions and dreams. I ALSO would like to point out that this is said in the script

“Coming to grips with the fact that she just killed another father” meaning that, for all you Vander lovers, Jinx DID see Vander as a father AND she sees her relationship with Silco as him being her father. Sorry to ruin it for all the Jilco shippers but yea. FATHER.

And Silco did, per the script, love Jinx:

“Silcos eyes, full of love, glaze over” And some people might be like “well if he cared about her and wanted her safe, why send her to fight people blah blah” but, like, fighting the way she does is relatively normal for Zaun. Violence and murder and crime syndicates and all of that is just... like as simple as walking your dog. So yeah, Silco would have her do shit that put her at risk but i think he only ever tasked her with what he thought she could handle. I think Silcos love for Jinx is incredible, reliable, everlasting. Soo yea >.<  to me it just.. furthers the point that Silco wants Jinx safe and by his side and values her over his Nation of Zaun ambition.

Also definitely watch the script to screen video! Its really interesting because Jinx was not originally written to shoot Silco!! She was originally scripted to have a music box explode and its shrapnel kills Silco. Jinx still has a shooting spree freak out but its at the music box, NOT at Silco. So for those of you who also say “Powders last act was to protect Vi by killing Silco” No. She was just having an episode and attacking whatever made noise that alarmed her. Sorry! I ruin all the things but like... its a thing... o.o And understanding the intent behind character actions helps us understand the characters and that gives us the ability to better write and extrapolate and predict etc soo... its important! Yeah! Woot woot! Look at that. Im like Santa. I give you links, screenshots, AND words o.o lmao

[goddessofroyalty]

Could I prompt you for the story behind Jayce making the incubator? It’s so fascinating for me…

Warnings: mpreg, serious pregnancy complications (Viktor nearly dies), untested science, suicidal thoughts

Both the baby and Viktor come out fine though.

I started this with the scene I did for a reason – I think Viktor would only switch over to the mentality he gets in this after that point (and note his mentality is “just a little longer” not “them before me”).

Now if anyone wants me I’m going to be writing some much nicer Jayvik pregnancy/family stuff to make myself feel less guilty.

--------------

Jayce can’t help but look at Viktor when he hears his partner give a soft gasp.

He watches as Viktor brings a hand to rest on his stomach, his work apparently forgotten about as he shuts his eyes. A smile forming on his face, making Jayce fall in love with him that bit more.

“What’s happening?” Jayce asks, his own work forgotten as he walks over to Viktor.

“I can feel them moving,” Viktor says.

“Really!?” Their child is moving. They’re big enough and aware enough to be exploring the world they have access to. “Can I feel?”

“It’s very soft Jayce, you probably won’t be able to,” Viktor says but he takes Jayce’s hand and rests it on his stomach all the same.

“You’re right – I can’t feel anything.” Nothing but the swell of Viktor’s stomach from where their child is growing inside him.

“It’s good you can though,” Jayce says, pressing a kiss to Viktor’s forehead. “You deserve it seeing you’re the one growing them.”

Viktor hums in non-committal agreement.

“They are alive.” Viktor’s hand comes to rest on his stomach again, rubbing along it as if he’s trying to sooth their child. “We’re going to have a child Jayce.”

“I know.” Jayce wraps his arms around Viktor to hold his partner close. Funny to think that he’s got his whole little family captured in his arms right now. “I can’t wait to meet them.”

--------------

“Your blood pressure is a little up,” the doctor says once he’s done examining Viktor.

“Is that a concern?” Viktor asks before Jayce has the chance to.

“Not at this stage.” Jayce feels relief flood through him at the doctor’s words. “Although we will keep an eye on it.”

That’s fine. They would just make sure nothing happens to cause Viktor stress for the next few months. They can do that.

-------------

“You are looking rather pale Viktor,” Mel says, coming to check on their progress to report back to the Council. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Viktor says but Jayce can see that Mel is right. Viktor does look paler than normal and his cheekbones seem more sunken.

“We can take a break if you need,” Jayce suggests. Mel wouldn’t mind. She understands that their child and Viktor’s health is as important as their work.

“No it is fine. I am fine. A break will not be necessary,” Viktor says, resting his hand over his stomach.

“Are you sure?” Mel asks because Viktor does look like he could do with one.

“Yes I’m sure,” Viktor snaps before sighing. “Sorry – their kicks are getting strong. It is distracting.”

Mel smiles at it.

“They’re already taking after Jayce then I see,” she says. “Can’t let anyone else have your attention. At least you won’t have to ever wonder if they are alive in there.”

“No,” Viktor says with an expression Jayce can’t read. “No I won’t.”

---------

“Are you sure you are eating enough?” the doctor asks as Viktor stands on the scale in his office. “Now isn’t the time to be worrying about your figure you know.”

“I have been eating exactly as you told me to.” Viktor isn’t lying. Jayce has watched his partner force himself to finish his plate of food despite clearly already full to the point of looking ill.

The doctor seems to contemplate it for a moment.

“Well, I suppose we will just need to keep an eye on it then,” he says. “It’s probably fine.”

The problem is with every ‘probably fine’ Jayce hears he feels less and less sure it will be.

--------------

“Viktor are you okay?”

Jayce immediately turns his attention to Viktor at Sky’s words. A justified reaction he feels considering how much the pregnancy was really starting to take its toll on his partner.

“Of course, just a bit woozy is all,” Viktor says, waving his assistant off. “Really, I’m fi-“

Jayce lunges to catch Viktor as he falls. Gently bringing him to the floor as his partner starts to convulse.

“Get the doctor!” Jayce can apologize for yelling at Sky later. Right now Viktor needs medical attention immediately.

Sky thankfully doesn’t need to be told twice. She leaves the room at a sprint as Jayce bunches his coat up to rest under Viktor’s head as a pillow.

“Come on Vik, don’t do this to me, you gotta’ stay with me already,” Jayce says, feeling hot tears start to fall down his cheeks. He can’t lose Viktor. He just can’t. He needs him too much.

Needs him to find the faults with his logic and call him out when his head is getting too big for his own good and be the only person that Jayce actually feels like he can drop his guard and be himself around.

Now he’s found him Jayce never wants to experience life without him.

-------------

“Jayce?” Viktor says, causing Jayce to bolt up from the chair he had been sitting at his partner’s bedside in. “Why am I in a hospital?”

“You had a seizure,” Jayce explains, resting his hand on Viktor’s chest to prevent him from getting up too quickly. “You gave Sky and I a scare. For a minute we thought- I’m really glad you’re okay Vik.”

Jayce can feel the tears starting to gather in his eyes as Viktor seems to process what happened.

“I’m sorry then,” Viktor says, one of his hands coming to rest on his stomach. “And, ah, are they alright as well?”

“Yes. But, um, well-“ Jayce struggles to find the right words to tell Viktor the news he knows his partner will like even less than he did. “They want us to seriously consider an early delivery.”

“How early?”

“As soon as we’re willing,” Jayce says feeling trapped as he watches the despair come across Viktor’s face.

“No Jayce, we can’t, they won’t survive yet-“

“I know,” Jayce says, catching Viktor’s hands in his own and bending over so he can look him in the eye. “But they’re the reason you had the seizure and the doctors are worried you will have more.”

Plus there’s Viktor’s increasing blood pressure and his decreasing weight. The pregnancy taking a greater and greater toll on him each passing day and Jayce is afraid what will happen if they leave it too long.

“I will be fine,” Viktor says, pushing Jayce’s hands away as he stars at the wall across from him. “There is no need to consider that yet.”

“I, okay.” Jayce doesn’t want to argue about it. Doesn’t want to be advocating for something that will cause their child to die. And the doctors had only said they should consider it. Maybe the seizure was a one off. “You will need to stay in the hospital though so they can monitor you and keep you on the IV.”

“That’s fine,” Viktor says. So unlike what he usually is like – always desperate to get back to their lab and his work. And Jayce doesn’t know how he should feel about it.

“I’ll bring you your notes so you don’t get too bored and I’ll visit whenever I’m not working.” He can probably convince the hospital to bring in a second bed so he can sleep there with Viktor.

“Thank you Jayce,” Viktor says.

“Just take care of yourself okay?” Jayce doesn’t dare say that he couldn’t go on if he didn’t have Viktor by his side. Because Viktor doesn’t need any more stress right now.

-------------

The meeting is going well right up until Sky rushes in her expression stressed. And Jayce just knows it means something has gone wrong.

“What happened?” he asks because Viktor is so much more important than another family wanting their goods to be given priority through the Hexgates.

“He had another seizure,” Sky says.

“Is he okay?” Jayce doesn’t know what he would do if she said Viktor wasn’t.

Probably find the nearest tall building if he’s being completely honest.

“For now,” Sky says and Jayce feels himself slump in relief. “The doctors want to talk to you though.”

“Of course,” Jayce says, turning back to the people he was meeting with. He finds he doesn’t care about keeping them happy and making them money anymore. “I have to go.”

--------------

“Vik-“

“Don’t,” Viktor snaps, sitting up in the hospital bed and furiously scribbling in his notes. “Don’t even say it.”

“Vik come on, I don’t want to be thinking about this either.” Jayce wants to be thinking about what color they should paint their nursery or ordering new clothes for them. Not whether both Viktor and they will survive. “This pregnancy is killing you.”

Viktor snorts like Jayce is being dramatic.

“It is only for a little longer. Only until they can survive outside me,” Viktor says, finally looking up to meet Jayce’s eyes. “I can hold out until then.”

The thing is Jayce doesn’t know if he can.

-----------

Jayce tells Sky about his backup plan. And she agrees immediately.

While she may not be as brilliant as Viktor she is certainly still bright and full of creative solutions. Plus it’s nice to work with a partner, to have someone to bounce ideas off. And Sky cares about Viktor enough that it feels like she’s almost as determined to see this work as Jayce is.

Hextech falls to the side. But that’s fine – Viktor is more important right now. At least Mel understands that Jayce’s priorities are elsewhere and holds off his investors once he promises that he will prioritize it all again when he knows Viktor is safe.

They find references to a man in the Undercity in Viktor’s notes. A doctor and a friend.

So Jayce travels down there. Stands in a murky cave and explains the whole situation and asks the man if he has any suggestions that could make their idea works.

And he puts it all together and doesn’t dare tell Viktor in case it doesn’t pan out. But they have it and everything points to that it might, it should, do as it is intended.

And Jayce hopes Viktor will forgive him if it doesn’t.

------------

Jayce is there when it happens again.

Viktor is talking him through an equation when suddenly his eyes rolls back and his body convulses.

The doctors come as soon as Jayce calls but there is nothing to do but wait for it to end.

When Viktor doesn’t wake and instead falls into an unresponsive sleep Jayce knows they have borrowed all the time they could.

“Get them out,” he says before the doctors even have to suggest it. Viktor’s cold and clammy hand held in his as if he can help Viktor hold on for the bit longer they need. “Just do it.”

Viktor will forgive him even if the backup doesn’t work. He has to. Because Jayce can’t lose him.

-------------

Viktor wakes and immediately knows something has happened.

He has a feeling he knows what too and tries to push past the feelings of hazy and numb to see if he can feel them. If he can feel the kicks and flutters of movement that tell him they are alive.

“Viktor you’re awake!” Jayce informs him. Although to be fair to his partner he is likely stating it as something he has just realized.

“I am,” Viktor says, opening his eyes to look at Jayce. The mix of emotions in his partner’s eyes tells him all he needs to know. “You did it.”

Jayce pulled the metaphorical plug despite knowing that it was still too early. Knowing that they needed more time to be able to survive on their own.

“I did,” Jayce says and there is relief on his face that Viktor tries not to resent him for. He knew he didn’t look great, that he hadn’t been good. But that was only temporary. He could have held out for a little longer, long enough for them to be okay.

“Do you want to meet them?”

Does he want to see their corpse?

“Sure.” Maybe it will give him some closure to see that they didn’t make it. Maybe there is something about them that would prove that they couldn’t have made it.

“Okay,” Jayce says with a glance across the room to where they likely are before looking back. “You’re going to need to get up sorry.”

“Oh.” Viktor doesn’t understand why they can’t just be brought to him but he doesn’t have the energy to argue.

He winces as he sits up, feeling the stitches in his stomach tug. Jayce is there immediately, letting him lean on him as he gets his crutch and settles his weight between his legs, crutch, and Jayce’s arm.

They cross the room slowly to where an odd contraption is resting on a table is. Metal frame with glass panels on all sides and various tubes feeding into it. When they get closer Viktor sees that their child is inside. Their tiny body connected to the tubs but lungs steadily rising and falling with each breathe.

“I’m sorry you can’t hold them,” Jayce says.

“But they are alright?”

“They’re not completely out of the woods but the doctors are hopeful,” Jayce says and Viktor can hear the slight stress in his voice and can’t help but wonder how close they came to losing them anyway.

“How?” Viktor asks once he trusts his voice. The device isn’t something he had seen or heard about. It feels almost too good to be real.

“I figured if I made something that provided them everything they were getting from you they would be able to make it. So I built this,” Jayce explains. “It’s not perfect and I might have had to give them something to help strengthen their lungs. But it worked.”

Viktor watches Jayce’s eyes dart over the machine and their child, probably looking for any sign of weakness or failure. He relaxes again and Viktor supposes that means all is still well.

“Thank you Jayce,” Viktor says, leaning against his partner. Only Jayce would come up with an impossible sounding solution and actually do it.

“Just focus on resting and getting better,” Jayce says, pressing a kiss to Viktor’s forehead. “They took a lot out of you getting them this far.”

It was worth it though. Worth it to get them far enough along for this to work.

But Viktor will admit it is a relief for his part to be over and his body to be able to heal.

He’ll figure out how exactly Jayce built the thing once he is feeling better.

[arcane-ish]

Arcane characters and their parental figures

Piggybacking off my post a while ago about how Caitlyn is almost too nice and well adjusted for this fictional world, what struck me most about her is how sweet and generally supportive her parents seem to be. Yes even with the tension they have with over protectiveness and some disapproval. But the scene where they fix up her injuries just felt like a really heartwarming and natural rapport.

This in turn made me think of how sweet Jayce is generally with his mom. 

And that in turn made me think that at least in League canon Ekko is supposed to have loving parents. 

When I look at the characters in Arcane who I think are/will be “white hats” (ie “good guys”/”well motivated guys”), those are Caitlyn, Jayce, Heimer, Ekko.  

They still might screw up and screw up badly, but they imo all have an optimism to them as opposed to characters who are motivated by spite or desperation, that to me makes the most sense because they had loving homelives. 

(with Heimer as the exception, since we don’t really know whether Yordles, his species even has families, for all we know they just pop out of thin air, but generally the place where he comes from, Bandle City, seems super idyllic [watch Arcane contradict me and add a flashback with him having disapproving yordle parents who never wanted him to travel the world or something] [but I doubt it]) 

On the other hand we have Jinx who has a very dysfunctional father figure and with Viktor it is really striking how he doesn’t seem to have any family and siblings. He is mostly hiding his efforts to heal himself and is going through it completely alone, again as a stark contrast to Jayce who we see with his mother, running some things past her.  

If Viktor has parents, they probably weren’t great due to this line that nobody ever believed in him, so he believes in himself. 

Then we have imo the group of Vi, Mel and Sevika. Sevika mentions her father in passing and it sounds complicated, but not completely hostile. As a character, we do see her be mean spirited (ie telling Jinx hurtful things) but we also see traces of loyalty. 

Then we have Vi, who had a pretty traumatic childhood with a lot of loss. We see her struggle with her temper and with dejection. But her big theme is how she has a good heart despite her upbringing (and of course a positive parental figure at least for a while in Vander). 

A really interesting one to me is Mel. We don’t know where exactly her character will end up and 100% of what her motives are. In Act 3, it did seem like she was motivated by idealism (ie defending the Piltover way of life against Noxus), but there might be other motives as well (like getting to the top of Piltover’s society, making a name for herself). 

In the flashback where her mother forces her to watch somebody murdered in front of her, I would say clearly qualifies as bad parentage and it’s interesting that she displays “a good heart” even back then. This makes me wonder, are we supposed to get from this that we was inherently good despite her dark circumstances? Or did she get it from somebody after all, like maybe her father is nice or she had a loving nanny? I also wonder whether her relationship with her mother will end up being more layered than it might seem (again killing people in front of Mel, forcing her into making horrible choices, calling her weak, sending her away), maybe with a dose of “she loves her daughter in her own way”. 

BTW the more I think of it, the more odd it feels that in a show that is so heavily about family including parents and children (again showing us parents that aren’t essential to the plot at all for Jayce and Caitlyn, having even side characters like Sevika or Signed talk about parentage) , Viktor is the main character is who completely devoid of any parental/familial presence. 

(okay Ekko and Heimer also don’t have a parently presence in the show, I’m just infering that they have/had positive childhoods) 

(now I kind of want a fic where Ekko’s mom or dad tries to appraoch Silco to find out what happened to Poweder because they can tell how distressed Ekko is about Powder) 

[poodlejoonas]

Dad!BC AU - the moms

So wow-ihateithere and I (because for some reason Tumblr won’t let me directly @ you) have been tossing out so many amazing ideas for the BC dad AU lately that we’ve thought of pretty much every scenario under the sun. One idea I’d like to throw in here is the group that is the moms who make up their own personal wolfpack. Since they’ll be brought in as stand-alone characters soon, it would be better to have a basic introduction for each and how they know/interact with each other.

(Under the read-more for length)

Joel - Emilia (”Millie”) Hokka - The absolute baddest bitch you will meet on this planet. She's a 5′1″ sweetheart, but if you lay a single finger on her kid, her husband, her BC brothers and sisters, or any of her nieces and nephews, she will become the human embodiment of that one line from “Wolfpack.” You know the one. She’s gone viral before for Joel needing to hold her back from fighting the mom of a kid who’s bullying Enkka at school, and literally watching this tiny woman become a human hurricane at the drop of a hat was enough for this kid to immediately leave him alone. From then on, kids at school know not to come after Viktor Hokka because his mom doesn’t play around. Why would she? After all, she dedicated 18 months of her life to trying to become a mom, and anyone who dares to come after her baby needs a running start to get away from her.

Sometimes even Joel has to hold her back from doing something she probably should regret but wouldn’t if it involved her family. He knows better than to cross a line with her. Then there are other times when they work together to be the shadiest power couple on earth, like when Aleksi’s ex-girlfriend Laila slanders him in the media for talking about taking custody of their son from her. If Joel comes home pissed about something, she’s the first one to jump on board with whatever plan he has to get his point across. She would totally have a stan account on Instagram dedicated to her called “milliehokkasupremacy”. And Joel loves his wife so much that he would eat every bit of this shit up. When she tells someone off, he writes down what she says and turns it into the lyrics of Blind Channel’s next single.

In short, Millie Hokka is 100 percent That Bitch™.

Bonus bit because this idea made me laugh: (in the comments section of a post slandering BC) @milliehokka: Bitch you better take this shit down before I puncture your fucking tires @joelhokka: She's my better half ❤️

Joonas - Kirsten Porko - Kirsten’s one of the quiet BC moms, and a hell of a lot more tame than Millie. But she has her shining moments every now and then, like when she was wondering why Millie took Joel with her knowing that she could’ve easily beaten that bully’s mom’s ass without him. She has the patience of a saint, being married to Joonas and raising two (soon to be three) kids with him. But she adores every minute of their chaotic little family. Since Sohvi was the first of the BC kids, the guys were quick to show up in support of her and Joonas. She was also pretty lonely until the others started dating their wives, and she was more than happy to have more friends to bond with.

She does the most to mother the rest of the kids when they need it. They love to come to their house because Kirsten will have a fresh pan of cookies ready for them. They also like hanging out with Joonas, but Kirsten is a fun aunt on her own. She’s typically the first to show up when one of the other moms tosses out a cry for help in taking care of their kids, especially when they’re newborns and the guys are away on tour. Kirsten’s total aesthetic is the absolute opposite of Joonas’s: she’s bubbly and wears nothing but pastel dresses and soft fabrics. A lot of people wonder what a “nice girl” like her is doing with a punk rocker like Joonas, until you see them interact and know that they’re crazy in love with each other and their kids. She’s the unassuming type, but she loves pranks as much as her husband and kids; she’ll play along whenever there’s a really good one and sometimes she can totally outdo them.

Niko - Jenna Moilanen - Jenna is Millie’s co-conspirator and partner-in-crime. If Millie needs someone to back her up and Joel’s trying to talk her out of whatever she’s thinking about doing, Jenna is the first to show up on the scene. She’s very much Niko’s type - she has just as many tattoos as him, several piercings, and hair that changes color depending on her mood. She’s naturally a blonde but you almost never see her as one. A lot of people tend to pass judgement on her abilities as a mom based on her appearance, but both of her and Niko’s kids adore her (especially their daughter Lahja) and they grow up happy with their loving parents. She’s a fantastic cook and works as a head chef at a five-star steakhouse, and she’s always willing to come home and cook for her family as well. She and Millie are the two shortest of the group, and it’s hilarious because they are both absolute spitfires.

Jenna has the best intuition when it comes to deciding who is trustworthy and who isn’t. There’s no “leader” in the group, but most of the others trust Jenna when someone gives her a bad feeling. She would be the one to raise the alarm on Laila years before she and Aleksi ever break up, and Laila would find the absolute worst way to end up on Jenna’s shit list. In her time with the group, Laila does nothing to help take care of the rest of the kids or try to fit in with the group. One day, when Leevi cries because he needs something, Jenna spots an annoyed expression out of the corner of her eye coming from Laila. It takes an intervention from God to stop Jenna from ripping her apart on the scene. The most important thing to note about Jenna: she calls her closest friends “bitch” affectionately. The moment it stops being affectionate, there’s no turning back.

Olli - Kaarina Matela - The quietest and calmest of the BC moms. She perfectly matches her husband’s energies, which is why they parent their daughters so well. She was definitely more calm than him on the day they learned they were having twins, and still is to this day. When he was panicking about their pregnancy scare, she was still managing to stay collected somehow (but just as relieved as he was). She’s very much like a suburban soccer mom type, but far from being a Karen because she’s aggressively kind to everyone around her, including hardworking people. And Olli just adores her so much, sometimes he doubts if he even deserves her. She’s always the first to remind him that there’s no one else she would rather be with.

Kaarina is the arts and crafts kind of aunt. During the summer, she likes to have the kids come over for day camp style hangout sessions where they mix in time outside with craft activities. She’s the reason why Olli’s stage outfits have been so cool lately, because she’s got a perfect eye for colors and is super skilled at hand-stitching patches. If the kids need anything repaired, they’ll know to go to Aunt Rina first because she’ll either make it as good as new, or turn it into some sick artwork. All the moms get along but she and Kirsten vibe together the best. They get together and plan the summer activities for the kids, which involve Rina planning the crafts and Kirsten baking for, and with, them.

Tommi - Marja Lalli - Marja is unique in her position as a BC mom because she joined the group when her son Miikka from a previous relationship was already almost 4. For a brief time, she was worried about herself and Miikka feeling left out of the group dynamic that was already there, but they were so quick to invite her in as one of them. A lot of it had to do with her being friends with Jenna since elementary school, and Jenna knew that the sisterhood would be more than happy to accept her. She and Niko help set her up with Tommi because they both know he would love her and accept Miikka as his own. She’s chill and reserved, but she’s still a ton of fun to be around. Along with Kaarina and Kirsten, she’s one of the level-headed moms and is typically the voice of reason for a lot of things (especially when it comes to trying to contain Millie and Jenna’s tempers).

The rest of the moms were thrilled when she told them she was pregnant with Anna, but constantly concerned and fretting over her when she was on occasional bed rest. If Tommi couldn’t be with her, it was one of them coming over to help take care of her and Miikka. Marja’s health showed the caring side of the sisterhood of the BC moms, how they are willing to take care of each other in sickness as well as celebrating the good times and defending each other from drama. Even months after Anna is born, they still come over from time to time to see if there’s any way they can help.

Aleksi - Laila Pekkanen (later on, marries Hanna Kaunisvesi) - So this one is a bit complicated. For about three years, Aleksi was in a high-profile relationship with Laila Pekkanen, a producer who worked with him on a solo single before joining BC. They meet again a couple years later and begin a relationship that last for about three years. But it was far from loving, as they were just in general not good for each other. A few weeks after their break-up, Laila calls Aleksi while he’s in the studio to break the news to him that she’s pregnant, which sends Aleksi into total emotional turmoil because he thought they were being careful. Of all the guys, he’s the most careful with avoiding this kind of thing, but it was her who missed one too many days of her birth control. They’re barely on speaking terms, but they agree to try to stay cordial until Aleksi can take full custody of the child himself. She admits to having no maternal instinct and wants nothing to do with the baby.

Here’s where it gets messy. Aleksi finally decides to break his silence on the matter and announces via Instagram that he will be a father and raise his son on his own. He does his best to tell his side of the story without dragging Laila down. But she takes it personally and goes on the radio to try to attack Aleksi, feeling like she’s being treated like a villain and a bad person for giving up her child. She feels like she’s being “exposed” in thinking that Aleksi publicly acknowledging their son’s existence would ruin her career, because she’d been trying everything possible to cover it up. It becomes a major feud between her and her team, and Aleksi and the BC team, but more industry people can back him up as a stand-up guy than they can come to her defense. She nearly ends up having Noah prematurely, and yet Aleksi still shows up in support, more so for their son than for her. When Noah is born months later, she refuses to hold him and immediately cuts off all contact with Aleksi. 

Aleksi raises Noah alone and learns to support his son when he’s later diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Noah is semi-verbal and partially communicates with sign language. He uses sign in situations when he meets a stranger, and Aleksi respects his intuition when someone makes him uncomfortable. Noah has separation anxiety from losing his mom at a young age, so Aleksi refuses to date for years because he doesn’t want to bring a revolving door of strangers around him. But then he meets Hanna, who makes an almost instant connection with him. He’s hesitant to make a decision about a long-term relationship with her until he sees how well she works with Noah. She’s one of the first people he opens up to - mostly because of her experience as a child psychologist - but the moment that seals the deal is when Noah calls her “mom” for the first time (in sign to his cousins). Fans and people he works with can’t help but notice that Aleksi is so much happier with Hanna than Laila. And as much as he would like to have a baby with her, he’s happy having Noah and wants to invest his energy into ensuring his happiness. But Hanna understands, because she’s an angel and only wants the best for her family.

[ari-a1357]

A Sad Yuri On Ice Theory

So I’m pretty sure someone’s made a similar post like this before, but as I was rewatching Yuri on Ice, I thought of a really REALLY sad theory and I had to put my thoughts in here. You have been warned...

Before I get into that, I’m gonna need to set up some context.

In episode two, it’s made pretty clear that Viktor was really burned out and lacked any motivation for skating, as stated by Yurio:

“As good as dead” huh? For someone like Viktor whose whole life basically revolves around skating, that statement is probably much truer than we think.

Some of the things this show does really well is establishing its characters and their relationships. We get to see in detail Yuuri’s family dynamic and we get a glimpse of Yurio’s relationship with his grandpa, but we don’t learn anything about Viktor’s family. Not a single name drop or even a passing thought. In fact, we don’t know much about Viktor’s past at all other than his skating accomplishments and other skaters’ experience with him. I find that a bit strange considering he’s the second lead character, and I don’t think it was an oversight on the writers’ part either.

Many people in the YOI community have taken this detail and concluded that Viktor’s family could a) be absent from his life or b) disprove of his skating career for unknown reasons. This could’ve also had an impact on Viktor’s burnout and possible depression prior to the show. Sure, he had the money, fame, talent, and recognition...but without any genuine and loving bonds, all of that is meaningless.

Ok now I’m gonna get to my theory. Basically, what inspired this theory was a specific line from Viktor towards the end of Episode 10. It’s the scene of Viktor standing alone at the beach. He’s looking at his ring pensively when Yurio comes and randomly kicks him in the back (lol). Yurio being Yurio goes on about how he’s going to defeat Yuuri and show Viktor how ridiculous he’s being. Viktor being Viktor doesn’t really respond to him or he doesn’t care enough to respond.

What’s significant about this scene though is what Viktor is thinking. Specifically, these lines:

“And neither would I”

This is the line that surprised me the most. It seemed so small at first that I didn’t give it a second thought the first time I watched this scene. But man...it hit me hard

What I gathered from this line is that Viktor had definitely been struggling with depression and maybe even suicidal thoughts. If he can’t find a reason to keep skating—his whole purpose for living—then why should he keep living? Why should he keep fighting?

As sad and dark as this is, it just adds a whole other layer of angst to this scene:

Viktor had found love and purpose again by being Yuuri’s coach. So when Yuuri told him he wanted to end that, it was basically like a life sentence to him. He doesn’t want to go back into the competition world where he had been suffocating from his own success and suffering all alone.

He’s afraid that once Yuuri retires, he’ll lose the love and motivation he had gained, putting him back where he had started. Of course, just because Yuuri retires doesn’t mean they’ll never talk to each other again, but Viktor doesn’t see it that way.

The good news is that we know Yuuri doesn’t retire and that Viktor is going to resume his skating career next season while staying as Yuuri’s coach. This seems like the best outcome to satisfy both sides: Viktor can stay connected with the person who rekindled his motivation while continuing his career.

TLDR: There are strong indications that Viktor had a lonely and stressful life before he met Yuuri, and it might’ve driven him to be suicidal.

The YOI movie will go into Viktor’s past and I don’t know if it will delve into this topic since it would be pretty heavy. If they do, I know I’ll be crying my eyes out and desperately trying to hug Viktor through the screen.

That’s it! Thanks for reading if you got this far!

[queen-pudi]

Cuteness Overload

Hello! So I’ve never written a fic before and English is my worst subject in school but when I realized I read every single fic on this app for Fire Force I got sad so I made this. Please enjoy and if you like it maybe I’ll make more! Also thank you to @seashellsandshores for getting me into Fire Force, proofreading this for me and overall being a great friend!! She is a much better writer than I am so please check her out!!

Viktor x Reader

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Being a new recruit to Company 8 was something you thought you were prepared for but apparently weren’t. You were a little shy in the beginning but over time you warmed up and created a family within Company 8. Sure most families don’t have siblings getting attacked and kidnapped by a cult every 2 weeks but it’s still a family nonetheless. Your power was the ability to use your hair as any sort of weapon you want. It was a little hard to get used to but once you got the hang of it was super useful on the field. 

However, you still had a hard time controlling your power, especially when you were flustered or nervous. When you were a bit flustered like most people you’d blush but sometimes you’d been known to get so hot your cheeks would go up in flames. Sometimes going as far as your hair catching on fire and wrapping yourself in a cocoon. 

At first, it was annoying but overtime you got used to it, and overall most of your shyness was just you trying to avoid having to explain why you were having a mini bonfire on your face. You had been doing a great job until Viktor showed up.

 When he joined Company 8 you just about burst into flames. In your eyes he was perfect. He was everything you wanted, witty, smart, kind, and extra points for the height and that beautiful head of hair

When he first came to Company 8 he wanted to learn as much about everyone as he could. This meant he wanted to set up appointments to meet with each and every one of you guys, this obviously including you. Due to your condition and his overall, well everything, you were dreading this moment. You had gotten better at hiding it but normally you weren’t going to be as close as you were with him. It was just going to be you and him with all his attention on you. 

“SHIT” you screamed, at the mere thought of talking to him you had burned your pillow and effectively rendered it useless. Sighing you threw it with the other ones and went to get a new one. 

Viktor saw you as an enigma. You had been actively avoiding him ever since he came to the company. Only ever speaking to say Hello or goodbye or “Arthur accidentally stabbed himself with his sword again” You barely even made eye contact with him and he was starting to get curious. He knew he could be a bit eccentric but you haven’t even spoken enough to see that side of him. 

Truth be told he also fancied you. He thought your quiet nature was cute but he also found it fascinating how you became so confident and fierce when you were in battle or when you were in a meeting. He wanted to get to know you but every time he got close you’d dodge him or go off with someone else.

He was patient though because he knew his time would come where he could sweep you off your feet and impress you with his intelligence. 

While you avoided him for a while it was finally time to have your meeting with him. To say you were nervous was an understatement. You were like a walking radiator at that point. It’s amazing how you aren’t a puddle right now. 

After standing outside the lab door debating the consequences of just quitting and joining the circus you finally gained the courage to knock. Before you could though Viktor was already opening the door on his way to find you

“Y/N! I was worried you wouldn’t show up!” He exclaimed just a little louder than he wanted to and instantly regretting it once he saw you flinch

“Well, I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to improve on my abilities!” You said trying to come off confident but ultimately failing when your voice started to crack. You walked into his makeshift lab. It wasn’t perfect but it would do for now. You observed all the equipment like a child, curious on how it works and what it was used for. 

You stopped when you felt a pair of eyes watching you. You turned and saw Viktor looking at you with a dopey grin. You spun around fast, feeling your face warm up not even a minute into this and you were already on the verge of erupting.

For the first 5 minutes, it was an awkward silence. While he took your vitals you were trying not to turn into hades as he was just inches away from your face. He was trying to scramble for something to say. (All that brainpower and he can’t even think of a dad joke smh) 

“Well it looks like you are perfect!” he said after finishing the first round of tests. You knew he meant you were in good health but to hear him call you perfect was enough to set your cheeks blazing. You were scrambling to calm down before he took notice of your predicament 

The next test was just accessing your abilities. Show all the things your hair could do and so on. Nothing really interesting, although you did burn a hole through the wall and almost gave yourself some wicked whiplash. 

For a while he was chalking this up to the uncomfortable setting of him constantly probing you with tools and questions. After a while though he started to worry it wasn't the setting that was making you uncomfortable but him.

Viktor tried to make conversation but all he would get was a few chuckles and some nodding. It was starting to get to him. He knew he wasn’t as sweet as Shinra or as Attractive as Obi but he thought he was good enough in the looks department and overall a pretty nice guy. 

The meeting eventually came to a close and he had just about enough of your lack of response. As you were on the way out he just couldn’t help himself 

“I’m sorry but am I doing something wrong?” he asked, concern lacing his voice, you stopped in your tracks and looked at him in confusion 

“No you have been great-” “ Then why won’t you talk to me, hell you barely even look at me!” He cut you off. He was frustrated at this point, and rightfully so.

Thinking back on it you had been a bit ruder than you intended to be. While trying to keep your distance you had basically ignored him. It was almost as if he was just another wall to you. 

“I have been trying to talk to you for weeks only for you to avoid me at every chance you get. I was hoping to maybe establish some sort of friendship during this meeting but you have been ignoring me and when you do acknowledge me it’s with short responses and nods. You don’t have to like me but at the very least you could pretend for a second-” He blurted out. 

He hadn’t intended to word vomit all at once but he couldn’t help himself. He was a curious creature by nature and he needed to find the answers to all these questions he had.

“It’s not that I don’t like you, it's just the opposite! I just…” you trailed off you had noticed that in his state of frustration and your panic you 2 had inched closer to one another. Your faces just within inches of one another.

Ultimately it was too much and you could stop your cheeks from flaming up. Viktor backed away in shock wondering why you didn’t mention this before. Before he could ask what was wrong you had cocooned yourself in a little hairball out of complete embarrassment. 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to! You are just so nice and smart and I just get so flustered when you are around! I want to get to know you but then this happens and I’m sorry-” you were trying to calm down but you just kept getting more embarrassed causing your cocoon to heat up more.

Viktor was just in awe. Besides the fact that you were in the process of turning into a human butterfly, he sort of found it adorable. This combined with what you were saying he was also in the process of burning up

“Y/N! It’s ok! I’m not mad!” he said in an attempt to calm you down “I actually think it’s sort of cute” he mumbled just loud enough for you to hear. This intrigued you enough for you to calm down so that you could look at him, cheeks blazing an all. 

“Really? What’s so cute about me turning in a human lighter?” 

Viktor laughed while taking a seat next to you “I find everything you do cute when you laugh and your nose crinkles; cute when you yawn and instantly cover your mouth with both hands to hide your face: cute, and when you turn into human torch from fantastic four when you get embarrassed: cute” he confessed

You slowly cooled down and let your hair unravel. You mustered up all your courage to look at him. Your cheeks were still emitting flames but not as bright as before. He gave you a soft smile which you returned. You don’t know how it started but slowly you 2 started to lean in. Lips just a breath away from each other until

“Viktor Y/N its time for dinner…” Hinawa said, bursting into the room. You and Viktor bolted away from each other, flames starting to engulf your face. Hinawa paused, processing the scene that was in front of him. 

“Lieutenant this is not what it looks like! I mean it sort of is but it’s also no-” You screamed frantically

 “When you two are done making out can you please join us for dinner. Afterwards we can discuss workplace romance and fill out the proper paperwork.” He announced while on his way out. 

Mortified you wrapped yourself up into a burrito and ran out the room. Left in the lab was Viktor who looked just about as red as you, wearing a lovesick smile, “Like I said: Cute”

[melodyalanaroster]

To answer some Fanfic Questions...

So, this is my response to @broxklynn‘s post... I decided to make this its own post... So that It can be properly answered.

1. How and why did you start to write? Is there some kind of story behind it?

I started writing in general when I was in elementary school... Back when I just had a Platform 9 3/4 journal, not many friends, recess, and a desire to immerse myself in the world of Harry Potter. I enjoyed writing, and even joined the Writer’s Club in High School (but I eventually left to join Anime Club and Divergent Thinking Society). As for writing MCL fanfiction, I began writing Sam’s and Alana’s stories as early as when I first got into the fandom, back in 2013. Alana’s story started out as “A Fresh Start”, had a one shot called “When I Wake”, then turned into “Let The Dawn Be Broken”, and is now “The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster”. The final product barely has any hints of the first 3... In fact, Sam’s story, “Fighting Darkness”, has been completely debunked due to what I’ve decided to canonize in “The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster”. Writing MCL fanfiction has been a major help in distracting me from the depression that was caused by family issues, severe abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, my mom’s disease and her death, as well as working at several shitty jobs. Writing has helped me escape reality and keep myself sane enough to not be a black hole of hate, anger, and sadness to my friends and boyfriend.

2. What do you struggle the most with your writing?

There are 2 major things I struggle with... 1 is Timing. I often set deadlines for myself that I never meet and it makes me so frustrated that I miss them... There are currently things in my drafts that were meant to be “Holiday Specials” for Valentine’s Day and Halloween 2020 that are still unfinished... It makes me feel like I’m letting my readers down, when its more of me letting myself down... The other thing is Inspiration. Because I hate my job, I often think about Alana’s story in an effort to not be completely consumed by the fact that I do hate my work... Due to that, I often come up with ideas for my story that I think are FANTASTIC for my story... But, by the time I get home, I’m either in too much pain or too tired to write, or I’ve forgotten the ideas...

3. What is your favorite genre to write?

I love writing Romance with a bit of Slice of Life and a hint of Action/Adventure... 

4. Slowburn or “Flame”/PWP?

Slow burn any day.

5. How do you overcome writer’s block?

If I absolutely can’t write... I work on other stuff I need to do... Typically, something around the house, or something online I need to do... I also look for cool stuff to add to wish lists... I’ll occasionally play videogames or read comic books... In an effort to subvert writer’s block, I like having multiple chapters in my drafts at once. If I’m not in the mood to work on one chapter, I can work on a different one.

6. What kind of thing you dislike the most, when reading a fanfiction? (for example: particular plot, grammar mistakes)

One thing that makes me upset (and it makes me madder when I do this) is misspelling... Especially when it looks like its almost blatant... You have autocorrect, USE IT! Or when a fanfic is so awful, yet the author acts like their work is a gift from god... I don’t mind a “bad” fanfiction... Hell, the concept of “My Immortal” is so bad that its hilarious... But Fifty Shades did a lot of damage and E.L. James acts like she’s bigger than Jesus... Seriously, she wrote Twilight fanfiction, changed some minor details and names, people who have no knowledge of BDSM ate it up, and she acts like she’s a “Sex and Relationship Guru”...

7. What’s the biggest issue for you, when writing a Beemoov fanfiction?

The biggest issue for me is finding out when to allow for Beemoov’s writing and placement to take place in my story. I don’t like a lot of the events of UL and LL, so I’m often finding myself in a position where I have to watch video playthroughs and go “Okay, how can I omit this character, but keep this scene?”. I’ve had to do that A LOT with Alexy and Rosalaya.... Although, to a certain extent, I’ll often cut their scenes out altogether. I really hate what Beemoov did to them. They were great characters in HSL, but became utter shit in UL and stayed shit in LL. To make up for Beemoov’s writing style, I’ve created my own characters, added in old characters (like Kentin and Armin), added in bits from the manga (like Viktor, Severina and their fathers), and gone off on my own storyline. The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster is close to MCL at times, but often veers off onto its own road.

8. Have you ever created a character based on person in real life? (celebrity, someone that you know, etc)

YES!!! A LOT of characters in my story are based on real people! Alana’s step-father, Nate Films, is closely based on Nathan Fillion. A lot of her family members are based on members of my own family, just changed a bit to fit the story. Lynne Roster, Alana’s mom, is what I had always dreamed my own mom would be... Hell, Alana’s cat, Sylvester, is based on my own childhood cat, Luna.

9. How do you feel about your own characters? Do you think of them as your babies or have rather love-hate relationship with them? (And, do you have favorite one?)

I love most of my characters. I do hate 3 in particular... But, you’re supposed to hate, or at least not respect, them... That’s why I poured my hatred into them... Those 3 are Carol, Kai and Azrael. Carol has aspects of my abuser in her. You’ll see more of her when I finally post the HSL related chapters... And understand what I mean... Kai is based on one of my real life cousins that I’ve not been happy with for years (the one who my bf has deemed “the family failure”). You mainly see him in the Cousin Mels chapters, and in the Christmas Special... Azrael is the one who is seen the most in the UL chapters, and she is a main adversary for Alana. She is the one who broke her the most, the one who ended Alana’s relationship with Nathaniel, the one who truly traumatized her. As for ones I love... The one I love the most is Alana... I know, she’s a reflection of me, so that’s kind of vain... But, she’s a part of me. When I do finish her story and am at the point where I need to say “Goodbye”, it will hurt....

10. Enemies-to-lovers or friends/bestfriends-to lovers?

Definitely friends/best friends to lovers. I also like toying with what happens when best friends turn to lovers, but circumstance parts them and one moves on...

11. Is it easy for you to get inside your character’s head? Can you empathize with them? Is there’s some similarities between you and your main character?

It is VERY easy for me to get into Alana’s head... Like I said in #9, she is a reflection of me. She looks and acts like how I’d like to in a lot of situations... Her life is more interesting, traumatized, and more well off than mine... But, she is still me in major ways...

12. Who has been the biggest supporter of your writing?

Definitely my boyfriend. He doesn’t really understand the game itself... But, he likes how happy it makes me and he respects how much of my heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears that I’ve poured into writing my story. He loves listening to me read passages from it to him while I’m working. He gives me advice and his opinion is highly valued... My family knows I’m writing a large story, and have seen some of the images that I’ve gotten commissioned, but they don’t really know or care about the game. They do respect the fact that I am writing. They love the fact that I’m slightly following in my mom’s footsteps in that regard (she wrote 3 books and several poems). My online friends have been very supportive as well! I’m constantly updating them on what I’ve worked on each day in my Discord Server and the words of encouragement always help.

13. How do you handle criticism?

Not well. Due to the abuse and family issues mentioned in #1, for a good amount of my life, I’ve gotten nothing but harsh criticism... So, now that I’m away from all that, at 26 years old, I’m just now getting to a point where I’m starting to take it better... But, I’ve got a long way to go.

14. Do you like giving your characters trauma? Why/why not?

I hate sounding like a sadist... But, I’m going to anyway, so fuck it... Yes. I have done awful things to Alana over the years. In A Fresh Start, she got sexually assaulted and ostracized. In When I Wake, she gets into a car crash, put into a coma, and in her dream state murdered by Francis in front of Nathaniel. In Let The Dawn Be Broken, the plan was for her to end a war. In “The Melancholy of Melody Alana Roster”, her childhood cat dies, her mom gets sick, she gets abused by Carol, her best friends get ripped away from her for a bit, she gets sent to a country halfway around the world alone, she gets assaulted and ultimately turned into a weapon of mass destruction.... I’ve even thought of killing her mom off at one point... But decided against it...

Now, granted, A Fresh Start and Let The Dawn Be Broken never saw completion, but happy endings were planned for them...

I do this, all while giving Alana happy endings in each story because “If Alana can go through utter hell and make it through, then so can I.”... I know, I’m “god” in that regard and I can control how Alana’s life is.... But, the fact that in my writing, she ends up standing tall, happy, with everything she wants, after everything she goes through does make me feel better.... 

15. Are you proud of yourself? When you look at first piece you wrote and compare it to the latest one?

Yes. If you look at A Fresh Start, you can tell it was written by someone fresh out of High School. There’s no real depth to it. Let The Dawn Be Broken isn’t much better... But, The Melancholy of Melody Alana Roster has become my magnum opus. It is the largest piece I have EVER written, and will probably remain the largest piece I write. I am very proud of what I have created... And when its last word is written, and I am ready to get it made for it’s place on my shelf, I will feel very bittersweet about it... That being said, my original plan for a sequel involving Nathaniel’s and Alana’s daughter, Aurora, has been discarded. I don’t believe Aurora could ever have as much of my heart that her parents do...

And there you have it! Some insight into my world, writing, and history!