#if I just relate because I’m non-binary or gender fluid or whatever

[flickering-starlight]

note to self—googling “is it ok to buy a binder if I’m not trans” may actually mean i have some self reflection to do

[armageddidnt]

I just want to use this post to talk about how much I appreciate the way Good Omens does gender. Angels/demons canonically don’t have sexes and don’t subscribe to the concept of gender at all. Throughout the show, we see lots of angels and demons varying gender presentation and it’s considered perfectly normal. Even with all the rules angels/demons have to follow to avoid getting into trouble with their respective sides, there’s never been any rules whatsoever regarding gender. Angels and demons exist, they have names, they dress how they want, and whatever humans think is irrelevant. As someone who is non-binary and agender, it warms my heart to think of an existence where gender isn’t limiting at all. I’m really grateful to Neil and Terry for making a story about existing beyond gender that has had such widespread impact.

And regarding how they interact with humans, on the show we’ve seen a variety of pronouns but what I find interesting is the characters use only one at a time. Gabriel is always he, Beelzebub and Muriel are they, Shax is she, Aziraphale and Crowley are mostly he. And Neil said in an ask reply that any pronouns you use for angels/demons aren’t wrong because to do it right, you need to know the tongue of the angels. I guess it’s sort of my headcannon that when they talk about each other, angels/demons instinctively translate into whatever human pronoun they want to use. Like they could never misgender each other because human language is too limited anyway and they’re just using it as best they can. Idk I just really appreciate seeing a race of beings that innately understand each other’s gender/identity and have absolutely no concept of judgement about it.

Finally, please enjoy my favorite Good Omens screencaps of characters not giving a flying fig about human gender norms.

Our favorite gender-fluid/genderqueer demon

Angels having gendered and non-gendered names but only one clothing style: bureaucracy

Aziraphale rocking Madame Tracy’s dress

The Gender Ambiguity that is Lord Beelzebub

Whatever the heck Hastur is doing here

Mutt’s wonderfully delightful non-binary spouse

Pollution saying “no gender only garbage” (which is relatable honestly)

[euphoricfilter]

I shouldn't be surprised at the amount of haters for gender fluid jk but like... Yeah, it's a work of fiction, first of all, its not that deep. Some of y'all are chill with a/b/o dynamics but not with playing with gender? 🤨 secondly, it's jungkook. THE jungkook. Are they telling me him possibly using different pronouns is a turn off? 🤨🤨🤨 that's so weird, the man could seriously be into feet and I'd still love him if he let me ((i dont mean to compare queerness with a fetish, it's just the example that popped up first)). i dont get queerphobia in general (bc we're just, ya know, existing??) But yeah, if you're not into something, scroll on? Mind your business?? Nobody is getting hurt here.

And their idea that you portraying him as queer is "dehumanising" is especially telling of their morals and I don't care for it at all.

Idk, you're doing amazing sweetie, we don't listen to the phobes, good job

i told my best friend when i started writing gender fluid jk that i just know someone’s gonna come in my inbox and be an absolute bitch about it. no joke, not even an hour after i posted the teaser someone had already said something. not even the full fic, just the teaser??

but that’s what i’m saying!! if you’re gonna get mad about me changing pronouns then why are they okay with jungkook as a hybrid, a/b/o, yandere, shitty mafia guy that murders people, a real mean bitch of a man that’s hella misogynistic. like ??? it’s a story, just like every other fan fic trope that exists that they’ve probably read?

boo hoo i made yoongi a lesbian 🍅 mega boooo because i gave jungkook he/they pronouns 🍅🍅🍅 suck my dick

it’s not that deep. and non binary, lesbian, gender fluid, gay, trans, all the works armys exist 🚶‍♀️be real, let everyone have a little fun sometimes, like i know within the community it’s not always easy to find fics that are completely relatable, and that’s why i love the representation

SERIOUSLY!!! disclaimer before i get weird people in my inbox again, but literally jungkook has never specified his pronouns. and that’s not me saying he should be nonbinary or gender fluid plus, once again since apparently it didn’t stick the first time, it’s a story

fictional jungkook isn’t gonna give you cooties because he’s gender fluid. he’s living his best life with his cutie partner 🚶‍♀️

LMAO i understand what you mean though, literally jungkook can be into whatever, or whoever, he can like what he wants, identity as what he wants and that’s not gonna throw me off, have you seen that guy. i would commit multiple war crimes for him

that’s what i said :( just unfollow me, block me even, i don’t care. it’s not that deep and i’m not gonna miss them at all.

it’s just, i guess upsetting that someone would come onto my page and say something that isn’t true about me when they clearly know nothing?? and then treat me like i’m the ignorant one 🚶‍♀️

i hope they know bts absolutely hates them for being queerphobic. yoongi has our back fr 🙏

yay thank you babes 🫂💕 kicking my legs and giggling or whatever because you’re so sweet. please accept a smooch ‼️ MWAH

[stranger-nightmare]

maybe hot take and maybe ppl will disagree with me on this, but 🗿 well. so you know how most of the fandom headcanons Eddie as bi or pan? i like to see him as that too, but that he also doesn’t really have an specific “type”? like, he might me attracted to certain people, but he ends up being able to be attracted to anyone, no matter what they look like, because he likes their personality so much (like he’s demisexual or something, idk how to explain this lol). so i feel like he’d be attracted to women, men, non binary ppl, gender fluid ppl, whoever, and with any body type/style. you’re a cheerleader? cool. you’re alt? cool. you’re chubby? he loves your tummy rolls, your thick thighs, how soft you feel, even if you might not like any of this, because it’s you. you’re skinny? he loves your small breasts, how small you look all around, how easy it is to pick you up, even if you don’t like any of this, because it’s you. you’re an athlete, you work out and have big muscles? he loves your dedication to your body, how strong you look, how YOU can pick him up, even if you don’t like any of this, because it’s you. if you’re not mean to him and you don’t judge him like 90% of the town does, it’s already a huge step to get him to like you, and then he sees how you took time to get to know him, the real him, not “the freak”, the “cult leader” or whatever other stereotype people give him, and how you like him for him too. and then he’s so attracted to you, to your personality, your looks, everything, just because you got so close and you’re so good together, in his mind. maybe i’m just projecting because i relate so much to him and i’m the same in this sense 💀 but yeah. and i might be reading way too deep into this, but i see a lot of (not here, but everywhere that ppl talk about Eddie) “would he like x girls?” and i’ve let my insecurities get in the way of enjoying a character once because of my own insecurities (not being fit and all and ppl seeing him as only being attracted to “fit girls”). yeah, i feel like he would like you no matter what you look like. he’d love you just the way you are because why not 🤷‍♀️ again, hot take and maybe just projecting lol but yeah, thanks for reading my dissertation (i’m sorry, i could talk about soft Eddie for days 🤧)

I don’t think this is a hot take at all my darling, everyone is entitled to their own opinions / headcanons!

honestly this is kinda exactly how I see Eddie as well, I just don’t think he’s really into labels or anything, he just likes who he likes, he’s completely enamoured by who you are as a person more than anything else! what you look like is kinda secondary to him, he finds you sexy no matter what bc he just loves you so much! so yeah he’s not really too fussed about gender or aesthetic or anything like that

so whenever anyone asks me ‘would Eddie be into x type of people’ the answer, in my humble opinion, is always yes, yes he is!

someone with the opposite aesthetic to him? he’s in love! someone with a similar aesthetic to him? he’s in love! someone chubby / plus size? obsessed! someone skinny / average? obsessed! she/he/they, he doesn’t care! imo Eddie really is all about who you are first and foremost

however, again, this is just my opinion and everyone’s headcanons are valid! <33

- hope

[spoops-inliyue]

— Request rules

[ Requests: Open - 0/20 slots filled ]

[ General request info ]

I write for most of the characters in Genshin (I think) but I might turn down requests because I don't feel confident in writing certain characters well enough

A maximum of 4 characters per headcanon request

I can say no to requests if I’m not comfortable with them due to anything that I haven’t already specified

If you don’t specify the gender of the reader, I will just do gender neutral a reader or whatever reader I feel fits the request best

You can just send me a prompt without a specific character and I will choose the character that I will write it for if you want to but please specify if you want me to choose

I will do my best to put trigger warnings in all of my work and feel free to tell me if there is anything triggering that I haven’t tagged but keep in mind I do sometimes make mistakes. Even if the tag itself is not there, the trigger warnings will be stated at the top of the post

It might take me a little while to finally get then fully done and posted since I’m also trying to keep up with life and things but I promise that I will get them done so please be patient because I get burnt out quite easily hence why my spaces for requests are limited

In any works in which I'm writing for characters that are children the MC will be either the same age as them or it will be exclusively platonic or familial. In cases where they are the same age, I will only write them as adults or at least over 16 in time skips (with an age appropriate MC) if they are in romantic or alluding to romantic relationships

[ What I will write ]

Headcanons, drabbles, fics and scenarios

Reader of any gender reader (male, female, non-binary, trans, gender fluid etc…)

Lgbtq+ relationships (romantic, queer-platonic etc...)

Polyamorous relationships

Character x character (within reason of course)

Character x oc (providing that I am given information about said oc(s) like personality, appearance etc…)

Things to do with religion/ culture as long as I know enough about the given area (providing that they are respectful)

Character death, gore, injury etc…

Aus (as long as I have enough information about them but not a/b/o under any circumstances)

Yandere

Mental heart related requests (withing reason)

[ What I won't write ]

Nsfw/ explicit content

I refuse to do incest or paedophilia or anything of the sort

Cheating (though this depends on the circumstance)

Rape/ sexual assault/ sexual harassment

Child death

Human trafficking of any form

Pregnancy/ childbirth. Requests related to parenthood and the like are okay, just not pregnancy or labour itself

If there is anything that I haven’t covered here or isn’t very clear, feel free to ask me about it 💛

[dam-percy]

I wasn’t gonna say anything but y’all are annoying me so here we go:

1. ‘Why isn’t Reyna a lesbian?’

Right. Rick said she was ace, that’s it. She can still like girls, boys whatever but given her current situation as a hunter I’d call it a day and accept that she’s ace (and also stop sleeping on Lavinia, Jo and Emmie three very important kick-ass lesbians). Also, Rick said it was completely up to you to interpret if she’s gay or not but you cannot erase the fact that she is asexual. That’s not up to you and to deny it would be complete erasure of important representation. 

2. So why can Percy be bisexual if Reyna can’t be a lesbian?

Like I said, Reyna is ace. You can’t take that away. Rick has said that Percy’s sexuality is up for interpretation so it’s different to Reyna’s situation. You wouldn’t be erasing representation by assuming Percy’s bi but you would be denying the fact that Reyna is ace by saying she is solely a lesbain. As said before, she can be an asexual lesbian but YOU CANNOT ERASE THE FACT THAT SHE IS ACE, PERIOD. 

3. ‘Why hasn’t Rick represented (insert minority here) yet?

First off, give the poor guy a break. How many authors do you know that have given the sheer amount of representation that Rick has given? How many authors, despite all the backlash received simply by making Nico gay, continued and ignored the hate because normalising this stuff was more important? How many authors have used their platform the way he has? To name a few, how many authors have characters who are ADHD, dyslexic,homeless, from single-parent households, from abusive (physical and emotional) households, from gay parents, gay, lesbian, bisexual, gender fluid, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, black, Chinese, Canadian, Latino, Italian,  Spanish, Portuguese, non-binary, deaf, Jewish and mixed-race? And, to top it all off, he does it without all the stereotypes. This man has honestly done so well for all the casual, non-stereotypical representation he has given. He allows kids everywhere to see themselves normalised and accepted into fiction and it’s incredible. I remember reading Trials of Apollo and crying because there was an openly bisexual male main character who was happy and accepted. Imagine how important this is to kids, to see themselves where usually the would not. I’m so sorry if he hasn’t included every single minority out there but you need to appreciate the man for what he’s done so far because it’s genuinely amazing.

4. Trials of Apollo was just a money grab/ fan service

It was not a fan service, it brought some extremely sensitive topics to light and had some incredibly important representation that y’all sleep on. In my opinion, I think Trials of Apollo is just more grown up that Percy Jackson and is something that you have to stick with. Twelve year old me found Apollo insufferable as a main character and the plot to mature, now I’m older and I relate so much easier to it and appreciate Apollo’s narrative way more than before. Percy Jackson and Trials of Apollo are aimed at different audiences and that’s a fact. It has incredibly well developed characters and deals with themes that most younger kids are gonna find difficult to understand fully. Plus, unlike Heroes of Olympus, Rick understood that this was Apollo’s tale, not Percy’s or Annabeth’s or anyone else’s and kept the OG characters as side characters like they should be and that’s what got y’all mad. Accept that it’s a more mature book and you’re just whining for the sake of it. 

4. Magnus Chase was basically a fan service and he tried to hard to please us

...Where? Personally Magnus Chase was one of the most well developed series Rick has ever written. It had some amazing characters and dealt with some pretty sensitive stuff. You can’t erase what was written and if you think it’s a fan service just be grateful we have an amazing author that doesn’t mind giving you representation next time you read J K Rowling telling us Dobby was a twink. Because that is what you call crappy fan service as an attempt to recover from her recent comments. We have an unproblematic, sweet author so be grateful.  

In short, y’all need to stop. We used to be such an incredibly sweet fandom and I am not gonna sit here and watch you all become toxic. The entire reason the Riordanverse exists is because Rick wanted his son to be able to see kids like him in fiction. And then he wanted to go further and make sure all kids saw themselves in fiction. That in itself is incredible and honestly Rick does not get enough appreciation for that. The last thing he wants is for us to begin hating each other for things we cannot help, such as race or sexuality. Please, please I am begging the entire fandom right now, be kind. You don’t have to agree with someone to give them respect.

[flowerywhispers]

| | Request rules | |

[ General request information ]

The characters that I have listed on my masterlists are the ones that I write for. It you have any that are not on any of the masterlists that you want me to write something for, ask me through dms or an ask and I'll see if I can write for them. This is exclusive to characters from manhwa and webtoons and the like

A maximum of 4 characters per headcanon request

I can say no to requests if I’m not comfortable with them due to anything that I haven’t already specified

If you don’t specify the gender of the reader, I will just do ‘x gender neutral reader’ or whatever reader I feel fits the request best

You can just send me a prompt without a specific character and I will choose the character that I will write it for if you want to but please specify if you want me to choose

I will do my best to put trigger warnings in all of my work and feel free to tell me if there is anything triggering that I haven’t tagged but keep in mind I do sometimes make mistakes. Even if the tag itself is not there, the trigger warnings will be stated at the top of the post

It might take me a little while to finally get then fully done and posted since I’m also trying to keep up with life and things but I promise that I will get them done so please be patient because I get burnt out quite easily hence why my spaces for requests are limited

Everything that I write for these characters will feature them as being adults and, in any works in which they are not, the MC will be either the same age as them or it will be exclusively platonic or familial. This is specifically about characters like Athanasia and Jennette etc... I will only write them as adults or at least over 16 (with an age appropriate MC) if they are in romantic relationships

[ What I will write ]

Headcanons, drabbles, fics and scenarios

Reader of any gender reader (male, female, non-binary, trans, gender fluid etc…) however there is a chance that I won’t do fem reader for some tgcf characters

Lgbtq+ relationships (romantic, queer-platonic etc...)

Polyamorous relationships

Character x character (within reason of course)

Character x oc (providing that I am given information about said oc(s) like personality, appearance etc…)

Things to do with religion/ culture as long as I know enough about the given area (providing that they are respectful)

Aus (as long as I have enough information about them but not a/b/o under any circumstances)

Yandere

Mental health related requests (within reason)

[ What I won't write ]

Nsfw/ explicit content

I refuse to do incest or paedophilia or anything of the sort

Cheating (though this depends on the circumstance)

Rape/ sexual assault/ sexual harassment

Child death

Human trafficking of any form (as a focal point of the writing)

Pregnancy/ childbirth. Requests related to parenthood and the like are okay, just not pregnancy itself

If there is anything that I haven’t covered here or isn’t very clear, feel free to ask me about it 💗

[tokokyohi]

If, at any point, you try telling me gay or queer aren't umbrella terms, that pansexual and bisexual aren't very closely related terms with an individual-basis meaning, or that aromantic or asexual people aren't in our community. I will block you on the spot. You are either: 1) completely unaware how much you've fallen into terf rhetoric that is largely based and formatted to be like Nazi rhetoric, that's not a simile, that's the truth. Or 2) you're an asshat and I don't have time for you. It is not my job to educate you, but I'll go off briefly a few things and that's all you'll get from me. It is not your place to revoke and police who and what can be in queer spaces, when clearly you aren't even involved in the queer community or educated enough to understand it.

Things to address quickly.

I'm very aware of the transphobic history of pansexuality! It's slowly branched from it, but should be acknowledged. When I say I'm pansexual, like many bisexual people will say, I am sexually attracted to any gender. Female, male, and anything outside of that binary. Some people who identify as pan or bi aren't attracted to every gender, because sexual and romantic attraction is fluid and completely individual.

If you're trying to say you're pan or bi or whatever you identify as and classify trans men and trans women as seperate than just men and women, you're transphobic and need to reflect on yourself. You need to research and educate yourself on the history of our shared community. That's on you now.

If you try excluding people who are in the asexual and aromantic spectrums, sorry to tell you this, but they've been apart of the community for a long ass time. You've fallen into a trap of believing propaganda that says they weren't! You need to reflect on yourself, research, and educate yourself on the history of our shared community. That's on you now.

Queer was a word we took back long before most people even realize. It's also a scientifically used word. It's used as an umbrella term, it's used for the studies of sexuality and romantic expression, and it's used as an identity.

The rainbow flag? That's the umbrella flag for the queer community actually. Not exclusively the gay male flag!

The trans flag? That's the umbrella flag for the gender queer community, not exclusively the flag for trans men and trans women!

Gay? A word used to describe someone being attracted to the same gender, but also used as a word meaning queer! It is used as an umbrella term and will continue to do so! It is also a word meaning same gender attention! It does not exclusively mean men who are attracted to the same gender!

Kink? Drag? If you don't understand the history and importance of those communities that not only cross over into the queer community, but also have their own large communities, then you NEED to educate yourself on the history of queer, gender, and sexuality expression.

Learn about how much of our history was burned away, learn about what our predecessors went through, fought through, and died through before saying someone doesn't belong in our community and its spaces.

I am proudly Queer. I am a Non-binary amab person. I use They/Them pronouns. I identify as Pansexual and Demiromantic, but all around Queer. You do not police my identity that I have found and proudly wear. I do not police yours. My labels are not for anyone else besides myself. You do not need to use labels, and labels are not to be enforced onto others. They are strictly for personal use to grasp, understand, and express yourself if you want to in such a way.

Be proud, be educated, and think about how easily anyone, including yourself, can fall into propaganda to hurt others in this world. No one is immune, but anyone can take a step to learn about history.

[yuribalisms]

Hey so I hear you about the complexities of identity language! I'm a queer trans man and have struggled a lot with how others have used certain terms (like bi vs pan).

And I'm not here to tell you how to feel or claim that I'm an expert on queer history because I am *definitely* not.

But I did want to say that people using the term 'lesbian' while being attracted to men is more than just a strange Tumblr/teen phenomenon. Reading up on Leslie Steinberg and queer lit like Stone Butch Blues taught me a lot about labels have been used, oppressed, erased, and (eventually) reformed among the younger queer community.

This included some interesting history about lesbian, dyke, and butch identities acting as sort-of fluid gender identities. A lesbian could be someone who took a masculine role in their relationships - that of a butch girlfriend (wlw) or that of the "more masc" person in a wlm relationship.

When I was figuring my shit out, "like a lesbian but also a gay man" was a phrase I used. I didn't have other words at the time. For me, the phrase expressed "relating to the woman experience as someone who was afab + loving women fiercely bc of it + but being feminine in a way that is NOT typical for people afab + also loving men but only gay men (which feels weird since I'm allegedly a girl???"

Eventually I was like "aha! I'm transmasc and bi, and I enjoy feminine people regardless of gender labels!" but it took me a decade to figure that out, you know??

I'm not saying it's easy, and it's definitely challenging for me still. But learning that people have combined and redefined queer labels to try and find themselves for the entirety of queer history... well, it's made me less frazzled and helped me to be more accepting of others.

🌈

So like.... I get what you’re saying, and I get where you’re coming from. A lot of labels have changed definitions and the way they’re used throughout lgbtq history, but um..... I just do not think that lesbian should or needs to change to include an attraction to men, no matter how people are trying to conceptualize their attraction. (Especially when terms like sapphic, butch, wlw already exist and are free for anyone to use, whether they happen to be a lesbian, bi, pan, queer, what have you).

There are so many terms and labels and sexualities that encompass attraction to both men and women, so I just cannot fathom why these people are insisting upon trying to use literally the one label used to define the experience of attraction that doesn’t include men.... to describe their attraction that ultimately includes men

I am a non-binary lesbian, I am afab and trans but a lesbian. I understand how difficult it can be to try and understand and conceptualize your own identities, but I’m getting so defensive over this because lesbians really can’t have shit.

It’s such an alienating experience, only being attracted to women when you are not a man. Lesbian is the only word we have to claim. Why do these people (who can just say they’re bi/pan/omni) just have to insert themselves into that narrative and community when they ultimately don’t belong and aren’t going to understand?

Again, I’m not denying that they feel like a wlw or sapphic, but if they are still attracted to men, regardless of their gender identity, they are still bi (or whatever sexuality falls under the bi umbrella). They are not a lesbian.

So many lesbians have struggled so long (of all gender identities and experiences) in a world that expects and operates as if women are attracted to men. Almost all lesbians still struggle with men insisting they just need to try one, or that they’re secretly attracted to men, struggle with comphet, etc. There is just context, sometimes, when it comes to these labels and communities.

Lesbians have struggled for so long with a male dominated society, we have our one word, our one label, to describe how we feel, to voice that we are not attracted to men and will not center them in our relationships.

So why do these bi people insist upon trying to take it for themselves when they already have so many other words to describe their attraction, if it’s not because they can’t fathom that there is literally one space that was not meant for them, or they just don’t care about the context or the way this makes actual lesbians feel?

(Because our feelings are invalidated over and over and over again, both by cishets but also within the lgbtq community)

Like I said. I do not believe lesbian is a label that should ever be “redefined” or “reclaimed” in anyway that implies attraction to men. Certainly not at this point in society. And the people who try and use it when they are attracted to men either just do not think about anything for longer than two seconds, or are just selfish enough not to care about how lesbians would feel about this or how it would affect us

These people are bi. There is nothing wrong with that. The lesbian label just is not for them, lesbian only spaces and discussions are not for them. And they need to learn to fucking respect that

[rotationalsymmetry]

Reading through a argument around “is queer a self defined thing or is it something where you have to check off at least one specific named identity and tell people what that is thing?” And there’s a 17 year old who expressed concerns about the idea of queer being a self identifier thing getting his ass handed to him. Which, I have to say, my initial reaction (safely saved to drafts) also involved a lot of swear words, and not colorful background swearwords either.

Fuck off. My initial reaction was to tell him to fuck off. And that, never mind about hypothetical straight fakers, I didn’t want him at my queer events.

But...I can understand, being young, probably being new to the community, possibly not having any offline community at all, how someone might find themselves arguing that position.

I mean, we got a lot of gatekeeping of various types on this site and in online queer spaces in general. It’s a thing someone could pick up without really questioning it, just because other queer people are saying it. And, you’re new, you’re unsure of yourself, you want to fit in. I can see it.

So, the kind gentle explanation, for anyone who needs less fuck off and more patiently explaining. (If I get replies/asks about this I’ll attempt to continue with the patient version.)

The acronym isn’t fixed. It’s fluid, and the categories within it are fluid.

For example: Marsha P Johnson in her life didn’t call herself a transgender woman. She called herself a transvestite and a gay man, even though she used she/her pronouns. Now, we look back on that and think “well, the language changed over time, someone who lived the way she did would almost certainly call herself a trans woman now, and the modern queers who identify with her most tend to be trans women.” Categories are fluid, in that now we’re inclined to see “trans woman, cross dresser, gay man” as entirely separate categories that aren’t especially related to each other (and het crossdressers might not be seen as queer at all) but they used to have much more overlap.

As another example, “non-binary” wasn’t really a thing when I hit adulthood. There were people who would now call themselves nonbinary, but they used different terms, like genderqueer. Stone Butch Blues talks about “he-she’s”, a term that straddled “butch lesbian” and the modern “transmasculine”, and which definitely isn’t in common use any more.

And that’s just in recent American history! If you look at how queerness is conceptualized across time and across cultures, it varies so much. Some cultures have more than two genders that are universally recognized within that culture. Some times/cultures see homosexuality as being dependent on whether you’re topping or bottoming or about gender roles: a guy who bottoms or takes on feminine gender roles is gay, while one who tops is just a normal straight guy. Sometimes a culture has fairly set gender roles, but people who are biologically male or female taking on the opposite role and having a same-sex partner is completely normal and unremarkable.

The alternative to “a queer person is someone who says they are queer” is to have a fixed definition. You are queer if you check at least one: gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, (asexual, intersex, two spirit, whatever else we want to explicitly include on the list.) But that would require “queer” to have a fixed definition and for all the sub-types of queer to be fixed.

What about when people don’t know for sure: a woman who knows she’s lesbian or bisexual but not which, a person who might be trans but isn’t quite sure, someone who might be asexual but again isn’t quite sure, but perhaps is quite sure they don’t feel comfortable when straight people talk about sex and romance. (And then there’s what happens when you’ve always thought of yourself as gay, but your partner is transitioning so what does that make you?) Hanging out in queer spaces with people who are queer makes sense for all of those people, even ones who might eventually decide they’re not actually queer after all.

And I’ve been writing paragraphs and paragraphs, but I think I missed the main point, which is: the alternative to “queer is self-defined” is “someone else gets to tell you whether you’re queer or not.” Which gives strangers permission to ask all sorts of invasive questions. (Especially if the given reason for defining queer is to keep people who aren’t queer out of queer spaces! That can only happen if you actually ask people coming into a space what they are!) There’s no way to define queer other than “someone who says they’re queer” or “someone who thinks they fit in with other queer people” that doesn’t open the door to those sorts of challenges.

And, in turn, to gatekeeping out people who might not be “queer enough” (ie, close enough to exclusively gay or lesbian) — in practice, trying to define queer leads to defining queer in a way that excludes aces or some trans people or all trans people or bi/pan people with opposite sex partners, or all of the above.

(Not entirely happy with how I’m using the term “sex” here, because I get “biological sex” can be a complex and very loaded concept for many trans people. If someone sees something they’re uncomfortable with and can suggest a better alt phrasing let me know.)

So, people tend to react to “queer shouldn’t be self-defined” in exactly the same way they’d respond to ace exclusionism or terf talk. Because...in practice, insisting queer has to have a fixed definition (or telling people to not use the word) tends to be round one of a game that ends with exactly those things. Even if you personally didn’t mean it that way, the rest of us don’t know that. We react to it like anti-racist activists respond to “All Lives Matter” — maybe it could be innocuous confusion, but it comes from a place of malice often enough that people do tend to assume malice.

Because the idea of fakers who are really straight infiltrating the community...that’s a terf idea and an exclusionist idea, and it doesn’t really fit with any robust and self-consistent understanding of queerness other than those ideologies.

[theladysexpistol]

JOKES ON YOU IM DOING A SFW ASK NOW! Ok so yeah, Bucci gang's reaction to the reader coming out a bi? I kind would prefer it to be platonic if thats ok with you. You can make it romantic if you want tho

Yeah platonic is like totally cool with me if that’s how you prefer it!

Also sorry if I get off on a tangent idk if u noticed I’m also raging bisexual so idk I feel like I might end up projecting a lil LMAO

Trish is also included in this one! One big bi disaster wlw mood tonight

~~~

Giorno

- Giorno is pretty open and accepting of anyone he deems to have a good heart, and incredibly aware of the feelings of others around him. If you’re debating between coming out or not, he’ll pick up on something instantly.

- He’ll push you to talk to him about it, but reassure you that if it’s that personal you don’t have to. He’s just worried about your happiness, as someone he cares about.

- I really headcanon Giorno as being non-binary or gender fluid or just not really defined by any gender term, so he’d be happy if you confide in him that you’re bisexual because you’re figuring yourself out and becoming more confident in your own skin.

Bruno

- Bruno is incredibly protective of the people he cares about. If you’re unhappy he’ll move heaven and hell to make you feel better.

- When he notices you’ve got something on your mind, he gently takes you aside and tells you in a very soft voice that you can always come to him with any concerns. When you tell him it’s something personal rather than about the group, he understands, and puts no pressure on you.

- Should you come out to Bruno, he’ll be very supportive. He’ll remind you that you can come to him about anything and if you need anything to simply ask. You are a member of his family, and nothing is going to change that.

Abbacchio

- Abbacchio is the type of person where this goes like: “Hey, Leone, can I tell you something personal? I think I’m attracted to both girls and guys.” “Yeah, I knew that. What about it?”

- Like he always knows everyone’s sexuality without them having to tell him and no one has any idea how

- He is also the easiest to talk to for any mental struggles related to your sexuality. Like I said before he gets mental health better than anyone because of his depression, so he’s a great ear for you.

Mista

- Okay I swore I would try really hard not to insert the fact that I basically headcanon every JoJo character as bi into this but I headcanon Mista as bisexual so bad it physically hurts me not to mention it. So.

- He’s fucking obnoxious as hell when you come out to him, constantly teasing you and trying to guess who you like and if you’re more into girls or guys. He’ll walk down the streets with you and ask which strangers you think are hot and will point out his own.

- Reminds you constantly he will wingman for you. Gives you pickup lines. If you’re really close he likes to talk about the stuff that makes him attracted to guys vs attracted to girls. You don’t have to do so in return if you don’t want to. He’s just talkative and horny.

- The best thing about this is that Mista really normalizes being bisexual.

Narancia

- When you pull Narancia aside to tell him he thinks you’re upset and immediately offers to shank a bitch for you. You’re appreciative but assure him it’s not like that.

- Narancia is of course really happy for you. He’s enthusiastic and will listen to whatever you want to say. Might ask questions or chime in on what you think is attractive or whatnot.

- Also offers to wingman like Mista but is less obnoxious. Will constantly pester you to tell him who you like. If it’s someone else in the Bucci gang he’ll swear not to tell them but he still probably blurts it out anyway. He means well though!

Fugo

- Fugo is very surprised when you come out to him. He doesn’t ever expect to be that person for anyone. He’s flattered that you think so highly of him, honestly.

- He’s not much of a gossiper, so he’s more like Abbacchio as a good support system to come to with problems. He’ll always lend you an ear.

- He’s a little awkward with some advice though. Relationships and sexuality are surely not his forte but he’ll always try his best to help you out.

Trish

- Trish loves to gossip with you and she’s always pestering you about who you like. Most of the group is so attractive, she’s sure you like one of them. When instead of revealing a crush, you reveal you’re bisexual, Trish finds it really sweet.

- She’ll beg to know your type for guys and girls. She might try to hook you up with someone, but not if you’re uncomfortable.

- She might ask a lot of questions, but they’re all good-natured. Maybe she’s exploring her own sexuality. She honestly is a little jealous you’re comfortable enough with yourself now, but mostly happy for you.

[rhinkthreeways]

Pride (Smutty Version)

Link posed seductively in the satin tank top and frilly panties that Rhett had gifted to them.

Rhett tickled Link’s shoulder with his beard and nipped at their skin, nudging the thin delicate strap down their shoulder. Rhett then worked his way lower, caressing the delicate nipples that lie erect beneath the silky material. 

Link arched their back and moaned. “Lower, Rhett… Want your mouth on me. But like… just a little?” 

Rhett growled, hungry for his lover’s pleasure and pulled the sliver of elastic that pinned the lacy edge of the panties to Link’s skin down just enough to expose the sensitive tip, and Rhett lowered his lips to lick tender and torturous strokes of his tongue that sent Link shivering and hooking their legs around Rhett. 

“Fuck me?” 

Rhett nodded, breathlessly. “Uh. Panties on or off?” 

Link blushed. “On?” 

“‘Kay..” Rhett gently flipped Link over, surveying their body language despite knowing that Link would tell him if something felt wrong, or off.

Rhett pushed the panties to the side, and slicked Link up with an obscene amount of lube, fingering shallow and teasing. 

“So wet for me, Link…”

Link whined and pressed back against Rhett’s fingers. 

“Your body’s just beggin’ to get fucked. That right?”

“Yes! Please, Rhett!”

Rhett didn’t keep them waiting. He lined himself up and pressed into the wet heat, savoring the sight of Link bucking and arching; just losing themself in the connection. 

They’d engaged in clandestine foreplay all day long, so it was no surprise when before long Link was making a mess between the sheets and their belly; and Rhett was filling Link’s ass, watching his come leak out and mix with the excess lube, soaking Link’s pretty little undies. 

“Holy shit,” Link sighed after they’d both collapsed onto the bed. 

“Gosh, that never gets old,” Rhett grinned. 

Link’s shoulders twitched with a silent chuckle. “Hm…”

“What’s on your mind, darlin’?”

“You ever wish I was more… manly? I mean, ya do like men.”

Rhett snorted. “I like you.”

“Yeah, but  I’ll see a guy who’s rugged and traditionally masculine and… I just know that I don’t feel like that hardly ever.”

“Just because you’re eying rugged, manly men don’t mean I am.”

Link punches his shoulder.

“I think about it all the time, though. When I start trimmin’ my hairs and I'm compelled to... keep going. As I’m baskin’ in how nice it all feels, I worry I’m not attractive to you.”

“When you ‘bask’ in how beautiful you feel, that’s when you’re most attractive to me.”

“And I know you like m’beard sometimes,” Link continued. “And so do I… sometimes? But I can’t have it for long before I start to not recognize myself in the mirror…”

“Maybe it’s good your hair grows so quickly. You can choose to have facial hair or not, as fluidly as you’re comfortable?”

“Fluid…” Link rolled the world around his mouth trying to decide what he thought of it. 

“I’m not sayin’ that’s what you…” 

“It’s okay,” Link assured him. “We’re just talking… Sometimes I feel like none of… all this…” They gestured vaguely at nothing. “If ‘d had the right language for it growin’ up, would I have latched onto one of these identities? Now I’m older, and just kind of…” They shrugged.

“I know you like putting things into little boxes, and being able to put labels on them. But life ain’t always like that. And that’s okay. If people care, they’ll listen, and help you be comfortable letting them know how you feel.” 

“I feel like… I don’t want to change my name, or my… body. Not usually. Though, people that do are absolutely valid! I’m actually afraid that makes them more valid. I mean, I ain’t even picky about pronouns. Not that people who want those things are picky!! Fuck… Pronouns are important. They’re so important. Specific ones just don’t resonate with me. Certainly not with any consistency. So, like, am I just… making this up?”

“Your experience is as valid as anybody’s.”

Link sighed. “And it’s not about women’s jeans, or lacy lingerie. Sometimes it feels so personal, and subtle, that it doesn’t feel... worth mentioning?”

“Worth it to whom?”

“People that’re just gonna be confused!”

“Their comfort is not more important than you openly living your most authentic life.”

“And if I don’t say anything, because the dysphoric feelings are so… mild. It hurts folks that identify strongly with being genderqueer, non-binary, agender, and all these things that I don’t quite know how I relate to. But when people say ‘Those identities don’t exist’. I wanna scream, ‘Yes the fuck they do!’ But when people that know me relatively well - but don’t know exactly this. I just… It is an opportunity to show people that gender is not binary. And that yes, they do know people ‘like that’.” 

“That’s not your job, and you can tell them whatever and whenever you choose. And it’s okay that it’s not easy to know how to articulate it. But that reminds me: I have another gift for you. You could wear it to Pride this weekend. But only if you wanna.”

Link opened a pin that’s face was divided into thirds, a pronoun on each third: HE, SHE, THEY. And a tricolor dial that adjusted to which pronoun the wearer wanted to show the world. 

“The dial can loosen over time with frequent spinning, but you can just wrap something here on the back to increase the friction. So. Y’know… spin away!” 

Link blinked back grateful tears, fingering the dial until it landed on THEY. 

Rhett’s cheeks rose with happiness at Link’s reception to the gift. Link wasn’t wearing enough clothing to pin it, so they set it down on the bed beside them.

“I love you.” Rhett kissed Link softly. “Even if you are a little quare from time to time.”

“Y’know… I think I actually prefer ‘queer’.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then. Happy Pride, you queer, quare, and wonderful person!”

[euphoricfilter]

why did you feel the need to change Jungkook's pronouns? don't you think it's a little disrespectful to people who actually use they/them pronouns? like why not make the oc nonbinary instead so it'd be more relatable?

not necessarily??

like everything i post, this is a story! it’s made up with made up characters that are based off people in real life. jungkook being gender fluid in this goes along the same lines as that. just as some people write bts as women, or trans, or they have a vagina or anything under the sun because its all just a story and not trying to disrespect real people in the real world. it’s all fiction, not there to say that a member is exactly like that in real life

and as you’ve said about the relatability factor— different people can relate to different characters within a story, be it the reader insert or another starring role, not everyone is gonna see themselves solely as the inserted reader and sometimes identify more with another character, or both and that’s okay because every human being is very different in their opinions and ways of just being human, that every reader insert in every fic isn’t gonna exactly fit your formula as a person

nothing written for that fic is bashing or invalidating non binary people within whatever sub term they identify as. i just wanna put that out there, it’s not written to be mean or hateful or anything like that because i love everyone and sometimes the representation is needed in stories

i’ve written gender neutral readers before, the reason why i wouldn’t want to be like hey yeah the reader is exclusively nonbinary is because it’s a very very different experience for everyone. (in terms of what they identify as, first of all because nonbinary is like a bit of an umbrella term), with jungkook as a set fictional character, who has set feelings written by me, it’s easier to write from his perspective because i created him and his opinions and emotions and his make-up as a person within the story.

because i’m not gonna sit here and write out what your thoughts and feelings should be within this context, because i’m sure every single nonbinary individual has their own preferences when it comes to their gender or lack thereof. it’s such a wide spectrum and so different for every person that it’s limiting the reader if i type out stuff that won’t relate to them because of where they stand within themselves, and their own individual experience. that to me, feels more disrespectful than taking a fictional being— though based off a real person, but again, this is all a story, and changing their pronouns. because at least the jungkook in this story is made up by me, and i can make his thoughts, his past, his feelings instead of telling non binary people how they should feel if i write them within the reader insert, hence why i’ve written gender neutral, so it’s not limiting the reader as to what they identify as

you could argue that writing jungkook as a fuck boy is disrespectful, or as a yandere or a real mean bitch of a man, because we all know he’s not like that in real life and personally i feel the same goes for this. to play devils advocate, no one had an issue when i wrote yoongi as a girl, whose pronouns were she/her. that wasn’t an issue.. it’s a story, i’m not writing it in a disrespectful context, nor in a way that i personally think comes off as invalidating non binary/ gender fluid people

for all we know jungkook might follow those pronouns, we don’t know. so if you can write me a real proper reason as to why this is disrespectful, then i’ll scrap the whole fic and no one will ever read it

but also have you seen jungkook, mf is androgynous as hell like come on, i’m just trying to have a little fun, my bad 🙏

[creamcoffeelou]

As a trans fan, I find comfort in how Harry explores his gender and expresses themes of gender identity and trans identity in his work. You may not feel the same way, but I think it’s wrong to restrict trans people who see themselves in Harry from having these discussions.

I know there are other trans fans like myself who think Harry may be trans, and on top of that, we feel that Harry communicates these themes in his work, such as by putting the colors of the trans flag on the color of his fine line album, including a photoshoot in the album that uses the colors of the non-binary flag, and describing the experience of questioning your gender identity in the lyrics of the song She. Additionally, he describes the fluidity of gender and aligns himself with womanhood. You may disagree and not feel like these fit your experiences as a trans person, but I don’t think other trans people who see how his expressions mirror their own experiences should be restricted. These examples are just a piece of why some fans (primarily trans fans) think Harry might be trans, not just because he dresses in ways that breaks gender norms. Just like heteronormativity is harmful, I think cisnormativity is harmful, and I don’t think trans fans who feel that Harry is expressing a non-cis gender identity through the trans symbols he uses and the experiences he conveys should subscribe to cisnormativity and feel that they cannot discuss these matters unless Harry explicitly says he’s trans. That is cisnormativity. Many trans fans like myself find comfort in how Harry expresses themes of gender identity, and this sort of discourse and shaming feels hurtful.

Thank you for your ask, however, I’m assuming this is in response to my last opinion post, and I don’t think this message reflects exactly what I put out. I’m going to respond to your message in sections to make sure I address all of it. 

If you would like to further discuss this you are welcome to come off anon, however, I will not be discussing this any further on anon as I think I’ve made my point clear. 

As a trans fan, I find comfort in how Harry explores his gender and expresses themes of gender identity and trans identity in his work.

Exploration of gender normativity and breaking away from societal gender roles is not equivalent to being trans nor is it equivalent to showing a trans identity. I also find comfort in harry’s exploration of breaking heteronormative gender roles, but as someone who has been regularly misgendered, I do not think it’s acceptable to place a gender on someone who has not said he identifies as another gender. As I said previously: The only implication anyone should ever take that someone does not identify as what they have previously said they identify as is clear, direct communication of an identity change.

I know there are other trans fans like myself who think Harry may be trans, and on top of that, we feel that Harry communicates these themes in his work, such as by putting the colors of the trans flag on the color of his fine line album, including a photoshoot in the album that uses the colors of the non-binary flag, and describing the experience of questioning your gender identity in the lyrics of the song She.

I do not think it is appropriate to assign a gender to someone who has not explicitly stated that they identify as said gender. Ever. I can understand the desire of wanting someone to be trans, queer, etc. for representation or to be able to project on (because projection is healthy, to an extent!). 

However, Harry actually explicitly came out and said that the colors of the album were not intended to be coded as queer. I don’t have the link to the exact interview, but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. 

Additionally, he describes the fluidity of gender and aligns himself with womanhood.

I’m assuming this is in relation to the lyrics of She? If not, I might have missed the interview where he said this. If I missed it then I’d love a link! 

However, if it’s just about the lyrics of She, again I don’t think the personal interpretation of lyrics is valid reasoning to assign a gender identity to someone.

Again, I can play along. Harry very well could be trans. Elliot Page and Grant Morrison stayed in the closet for years! Gerard way has said he himself considers his gender fluid and baseless but that he still identifies as a man. There is such a wide scope of possibly non-cis identities that many celebrities have taken on over the years. However, until someone explicitly comes out, it is not appropriate to assign them a gender. Regardless of any hints, clues, etc that fandom might perceive. 

You may disagree and not feel like these fit your experiences as a trans person, but I don’t think other trans people who see how his expressions mirror their own experiences should be restricted. These examples are just a piece of why some fans (primarily trans fans) think Harry might be trans, not just because he dresses in ways that breaks gender norms.

Just as I am not saying my experience as a trans person is the token tumblr trans person experience, I do not think it’s fair for you to say your and “other” trans people’s experiences are the token experience. I have said it before and I will continue to say it, you cannot under any circumstance assign a gender to another person without them identifying as said gender. 

I think cisnormativity is harmful, and I don’t think trans fans who feel that Harry is expressing a non-cis gender identity through the trans symbols he uses and the experiences he conveys should subscribe to cisnormativity and feel that they cannot discuss these matters unless Harry explicitly says he’s trans.

Harry is, as far as we know, a man. 

Calling him the pronouns he uses in interviews, in his most recent twitter and Instagram posts, etc. is not cisnormativity. The act of being cisgender is not cisnormativity. Assuming someone is cisgender until they come out to you is not cisnormativity. It is using the pronouns someone uses. 

If my cis friend used she/her pronouns, I wouldn’t call her she/they or he/him to combat cisnormativity regardless if she were a tomboy, cut her hair short, etc; that is just msigendering. 

This is the same as what is being done to Harry. 

Many trans fans like myself find comfort in how Harry expresses themes of gender identity, and this sort of discourse and shaming feels hurtful.

I also find it very comforting that Harry is combating heteronormative stereotypes! However I am not assigning a gender identity to him because that is wrong to do. 

It’s fairly clear I won’t be changing your mind and that’s fine. You are welcome to believe whatever you like, and I won’t police your beliefs. My personal beliefs are that it is morally wrong to assign someone a gender that they have not expressed they use, and I will never do it. I’ve experienced the horrid pain of being misgendered, as I’m sure you have, and I would never wish that upon anyone else. 

[sunbi]

If you are bisexual you HAVE to be attracted to men and women. You absolutely have to. You cannot say that you are bisexual because you are attracted to men and non-binary people alone. You cannot say you are bisexual because you are attracted to women and non-binary people alone. To insinuate that non-binary people are a third gender catagory goes against what it means to not identify with the binary. All sexualities include attraction to non-binary people on an individual basis. Also, stop using the Latin definition of “bi” to limit the historical fluidity of our attraction. We have never liked “2+ genders”, we are limitless:

“…the very wealth and humanity of bisexuality itself: for to exclude from one’s love any entire group of human beings because of class, age, or race or religion, or sex, is surely to be poorer — deeply and systematically poorer.”

— Kate Miller (1974)

“It’s easier, I believe, for exclusive heterosexuals to tolerate (and that’s the word) exclusive homosexuals than [bisexuals] who, rejecting exclusivity, sleep with people not genders…”

— Martin Duberman (1974)

“Margaret Mead in her Redbook magazine column wrote an article titled ‘Bisexuality: What’s It All About?’ in which she cited examples of bisexuality from the distant past as well as recent times, commenting that writers, artists, and musicians especially ‘cultivated bisexuality out of a delight with personality, regardless of race or class or sex.’”

— Janet Bode, “From Myth to Maturation,” View From Another Closet: Exploring Bisexuality in Women (1976)

“Being bisexual does not mean they have sexual relations with both sexes but that they are capable of meaningful and intimate involvement with a person regardless of gender.”
— Janet Bode, “The Pressure Cooker,” View From Another Closet (1976)

“[John] reacted emotionally to both sexes with equal intensity. ‘I love people, regardless of their gender,’ he told me.”

— Charlotte Wolff, “Early Influences,” Bisexuality, a Study (1979)

“J: Are we ever going to be able to define what bisexuality is?

S: Never completely. That’s just it — the variety of lifestyles that we see between us defies definition.”

— “Conversations,” Bi Women: The Newsletter of the Boston Bisexual Women’s Network (1984)

“Bisexuality, however, is a valid sexual experience. While many gays have experienced bisexuality as a stage in reaching their present identity, this should not invalidate the experience of people for whom sexual & affectional desire is not limited by gender. For in fact many bisexuals experience lesbianism or homosexuality as a stage in reaching their sexual identification.

— Megan Morrison, “What We Are Doing,” Bi Women (1984)

“In the midst of whatever hardships we [bisexuals] had encountered, this day we worked with each other to preserve our gift of loving people for who they are regardless of gender.”

— Elissa M., “Bi Conference,” Bi Women (1985)

“I believe that people fall in love with individuals, not with a sex… I believe most of us will end up acknowledging that we love certain people or, perhaps, certain kinds of people, and that gender need not be a significant category, though for some of us it may be.”

— Ruth Hubbard, “There Is No ‘Natural’ Human Sexuality, Bi Women (1986)

“I am bisexual because I am drawn to particular people regardless of gender. It doesn’t make me wishy-washy, confused, untrustworthy, or more sexually liberated. It makes me a bisexual.”

— Lani Ka’ahumanu, “The Bisexual Community: Are We Visible Yet?” (1987)

“To be bisexual is to have the potential to be open emotionally and sexually to people as people, regardless of their gender.”

— Office Pink Publishing, “Introduction,” Bisexual Lives (1988)

“We made signs and slashes. My favorite read, ‘When it’s love in all its splendor, it doesn’t matter what the gender.’”

— Beth Reba Weise, “Being There and Being Bi: The National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights,” Bi Women (1988)

“…bisexual usually also implies that relations with gender minorities are possible.”

— Thomas Geller, Bisexuality: a Reader and Sourcebook (1990)

“Many objections have been raised to the use of [“bisexual”], the most common being that it emphasizes two things that, paradoxically, bisexuals are the least likely to be involved with: the dualistic separation of male and female in society, and the physical implications of the suffix ‘-sexual’.”

— Thomas Geller, Bisexuality: a Reader and Sourcebook (1990)

“Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have ‘two’ sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders.”

— The Bay Area Bisexual Network, “The 1990 Bisexual Manifesto,” Anything That Moves (1990)

“Bisexuality works to subvert the gender system and everything it upholds because it is not based on gender… Bisexuality subverts gender; bisexual liberation also depends on the subversion of gender categories.”

— Karin Baker and Helen Harrison, “Letters,” Bi Women (1990)

“I tell them, whether or not I use the word ‘bisexual,’ that I am proud of being able to express my feelings toward a person, regardless of gender, in whatever way I desire.”

— Naomi Tucker, “What’s in a Name?”, Bi Any Other Name (1991)³

“Some women who call themselves ‘bisexual’ insist that the gender of their lover is irrelevant to them, that they do not choose lovers on the basis of gender.”

— Marilyn Murphy, “Thinking About Bisexuality,” Bi Women (1991)

“As bisexuals, we are necessarily prompted to come up with non-binary ways of thinking about sexual orientation. For many of us, this has also prompted a move toward non-binary ways of thinking about sex and gender.”

— Rebecca Kaplan, “Your Fence Is Sitting on Me: The Hazards of Binary Thinking,” Bisexual Politics (1995)

“I’m bi. That simply means I can be attracted to a person without consideration of their gender.”

— E. Grace Noonan, “Out on the Job: DEC Open to Bi Concerns,” Bi Women (1996)

[consumptive-sphinx]

I, T (VC), W for the ask meme?

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms; if so, which and why

There are a number of things I like but I absolutely refuse to participate in tumblr fandom in any significant way (notably Disney Descendants -- the movies are good fun and have phenomenal characterization, the fandom isn’t even particularly full of drama afaict, I just am not going to subject myself to the endless bad characterization and harry/reader imagines); there are much fewer that tumblr has caused me to stop liking entirely. Generally when tumblr ruins a fandom for me, it ruins it by making me go “....okay, never touching that” rather than by making me go “I don’t like this anymore,” and I’ve definitely left fandoms but in every case I can think of I’m pretty sure my interest would have waned with or without tumblr’s involvement. I guess it’s kind of hard to tell if my changed opinions about Harry Potter are because of tumblr or because I grew up but they’re shaped a lot more like “this is a fun world to play in and interesting characters to play with” than “I like these books” and this is a significant change from when I joined tumblr? 

tl;dr: somewhere in the crossroads of “not really” and “idk maybe” 

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything) 

So the thing about me and headcanons is that in like 90% of cases, I don’t so much do hard and fast headcanons as a grab-bag of possibilities some of which are mutually exclusive. I do have hard and fast headcanons in some fandoms -- you are not going to convince me that Mordred, Galahad, or Jonathan Sims are not neuroweird, and I have planted my flag firmly in a Tom-Haan-related hill that is actually just a bunch of dirt I piled up -- but for the most part headcanons are, for me at least, a very fluid thing. 

THAT BEING SAID: Lestat quotes Shakespeare lines that sound applicable out of context but when taken in context mean something completely different, and does not realize he’s doing this because his reading comprehension is not as good as he thinks it is. Lestat lied in TVL a whole lot more than Louis did in IWTV. Louis is a strong person Anne Rice just has a shitty definition of strength. Armand internalized 100% of his trauma, identifies as non-traumatized, and has never considered the concept that maybe being raped was bad for him. 

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

hoooooo boy. okay. so. does this mean 5 kinks total or 5 kinks per ship? idk i’m going with 5 kinks per ship because it lets me ramble and ironically i am way ramblier when on adhd meds than when off them. 

galadred (galahad/mordred) - people figuring out kink all on their own without an established framework to work with. self-harm where it’s sort of ambiguous whether it’s also sexual masochism. feelings and opinions about personhood and destiny and religion, is that a kink, whatever it’s a kink now because i said so. queering the sex/not sex binary. crazy traumatized people trying their best. 

jon/michael - escheresque geometry. dubcon dubcon dubcon, jon should always be getting dubconned, one of the central themes of the magnus archives is jon getting dubconned and i gotta say kit and sofia and kel and jade are among the only people who really deliver. knife hands and the associated knifeplay potential. bleeding very prettily and very confusingly. metaphors that aren’t. 

nolodhros (fingolfin/maedhros) - politics. sneaking around to hide your relationship. ominous foreshadowing of tragedy to come, even in the sweet moments. swords. constant half-serious power plays about who tops. 

marlevsha (lev/marlo/sasha) - internalized homophobia. size differences. confusingcon, which is different from dubcon but frequently overlaps with it. marlo’s very specific flavor of demisexuality. protectiveness. 

uma/mal (really i like this best when it’s one-sided but like still) - politics. hatefucking. jealousy, specifically uma wanting what mal has. uma wildly projecting all over mal. uma being INCREDIBLY in denial.