#I wish we knew when s3 will come out

[skrunksthatwunk]

not my dad not liking moral orel season 3 🤭🤭🤭that's so embarrassing for him (<- he's not wrong for feeling that way but i think it's like 60% because he doesn't like it when art gets weird and that's so so tragic for him)

[nutmeggery]

I need Neil Gaiman to know that Good Omens 2 made me feel emotions I haven't felt in nearly a decade.

When I heard there was going to be a Good Omens 2 I was looking forward to it, of course. I just wasn't expecting it do anything super special to my emotions. I was sure I'd enjoy it, though. I really enjoyed s1.

But, for the last few years, I watched shows and afterwards basically thought well, that was fun, and I quickly moved on and didn't think much about them. There was only about 3 shows in the last 5 years that had made me feel truly emotional and stayed on my mind to the point where I felt like I needed to engage in fandom for a while. (Good Omens 1 was one of them.)

I wasn't spoiled by the leak. I never even knew there was a leak. So I had no idea what was coming in s2. And oh boy...

See, I'd watched Our Flag Means Death, a show where you don't expect the lead characters to kiss, because, well, that never happens in these types of shows, right? And this is important because when they did kiss, it felt like a door that had been locked with just about all the high security locks in the world had suddenly, inexplicably, been opened. Something switched inside me. It took me months to understand what it was, but when I thought about Good Omens before s2 came out, I realized what it was.

I would never truly enjoy a bromance they're-only-queer/in love-by-your-own-interpreation story ever again. Stories where nothing is confirmed, just subtext that anyone who doesn't want to see it can easily deny and mock those who wish it was more.

While it was clear that Crowley and Aziraphale cared a lot about each other in s1, and were probably in love, it was still just a fun ship for fans to play with in fanfiction and fanart. Do they love each other? Oh sure. In what way? Well, that's up to interpretation. Ok, cool. But it's not quite Our Flag Means Death, is it?

Then I watched Good Omens 2. And from episode 1 I saw my favourite Angel and Demon duo love each other. And I was having the best time. I hadn't had such a good time watching a show in a long while. It was not only right up my alley, it was an alley I wasn't even aware was my alley until I saw it. I enjoyed seeing the old characters, the new characters. Oh, I was wonderful.

It was clear to me that, of course Crowley and Aziraphale love each other, are IN love with each other, showing it in their own way. And I wasn't expecting it to be THIS obvious.

And then when the kiss happened, I couldn't believe it. I covered my mouth with both hands and gasped and sat up straight in my seat. I had never expected it--the heartbreak it added to the already heartbreaking scene--it rewired something inside me.

It was like my emotions had been locked up in a stall like a horse for so, so long, and now the gate had been opened, the stable door kicked down, and the horse was running out onto the large pasture into the daylight, bucking and kicking up grass. Oh my god, I have to take a few minutes to process that entire 6 hour marathon of emotions.

And by a few minutes I meant a few days.

More than a few, actually.

I didn't need a kiss to understand how much they loved each other, but I did need the kiss to understand how intense and heartbreaking their separation is for them after everything.

But more than that, the kiss broke a barrier. They really did it, I thought. They really dared.

Aziraphale and Crowley aren't human males, no, but they're played by male actors. And that is significant. That makes the kiss significant. In the world we currently live in.

Weeks later, I'm still obsessed with the show, re-watching s1 and 2, reading the book again, listening to the audio drama. And I'm on tumblr, seeing people's posts and art to somehow sate my hunger for a s3 that doesn't exist (yet).

And I'm having a wonderful time.

[sp0o0kylights]

Steve and Gareth as Cousins, no longer a warm-up and now called Lifelines, part three! I’ll throw it up on A03 when I finish the fourth part. 

Prior parts can be read here: Part One / Part Two 

First things first, the most amazing @ sereinpetrichor managed to track down the OG Twitter thread this runaway train is based off of! 

It was this thread by @gatorthots, the Tumblr version of which can be read, here.  All blame for this idea firmly rests on their brilliant, plot bunny inducing shoulders. 

The other, follow up thread I mentioned was this one by Silas, whose tumblr name I do not know. 

As always and forever, shout out to the most amazing @chalkysgarbagefire​ who helps me edit/plot/pats my head while I’m crying in their inbox bc the words aren’t wording right. 

Warnings: Steve and Robin are canon (S3) drugged. I took a slightly (kinda sorta) more realistic approach. Vomit mention, canon threat of violence/guns (the Russian guards) Mention of pantsing/past bullying, Steve and Robin’s drugged asses not understanding personal space, Dustin’s canon...Im gonna go with assholishness? but like, I think its more than he’s a young kid and doesn't quite have the emotional growth/awareness yet in this kind of insane situation to know how to react to the whole address/torture bit (really who does)/its a defense mechanism--and Gareth sort of has a panic attack. 

Whatever the hell they had been drugged with, Steve and Robin went from 'giggly happy fun time' to 'vomiting into toilet bowls while loudly wishing for death’ awfully fast. 

Gareth was not an expert on drugs. He knew Eddie wasn't either (the guy never dealt anything stronger than your average psychedelic--had some agreement with his Uncle about only selling "the 70s basics") and repeated looks towards him proved Eddie was still trying to figure out what Steve and Robin were on. 

Answers hadn't exactly been forthcoming--Eddie's gently made attempts at ferreting out information had only caused more confusion.

Like why the two of them were so freaked out about a gate, or what had made Robin gasp, and then laugh so hard she cried when Steve had made a particularly rough noise then muttered; "Even that sounds better than Tammy Thompson." 

Either way, Gareth was mostly trying to figure out what the hell they were going to do, because sobering up in a busy, public mall wasn't exactly the best idea. 

"I regret," Robin tried to say, in-between gagging. "I regret--hrk--" 

"Me too." Steve moaned, head resting against the stall wall. Gareth, still caught up in panic, had been permanently regulated to door guard while Eddie alternated between sweet talking, rubbing backs and offering quietly whispered advice. 

"Let's go back in time and ignore the whole silver cat thing." Robin continued, slumping back down onto the floor. 

"Wouldn't have mattered." Steve muttered. "Dustin would have figured it out without us. Kid’s too damn smart." 

"So?" Robin grumbled, quietly thanking Eddie as he once again brushed her hair out of her face. 

"So he would have gone down there anyway, which means I'd be down there anyway." Steve concluded. "We shouldn't have gotten you involved though." 

He shakily pushed himself up, staggering to his feet and looking like bambi on ice while doing it. 

Eddie quickly came round to offer his help, hands spread as Steve groaned out a curse and clutched his head.  

The older took a step forward right as Steve lurched back, unbalanced and shaky. 

 "Oh shit." He said, eyes wide as he crashed backwards into Eddie, the latter catching him with a grunt. 

Despite the entire situation, Gareth found himself stifling a laugh as Eddie wrapped his noodle arms around Steve's chest, trying to hold the other up without falling himself. 

"Come on big boy, why don't we just siiiit back down." Eddie said, slightly breathless as he helped guide Steve back to the floor. "There we go…"

They did so outside the bathroom stall, Eddie sinking into a kneel as Steve sort of flopped down on top of him. 

Blinked a few times, like the drop had rattled what little sense he’d managed to recover in the last few minutes. 

A pleased noise came out of his cousin's throat, and holy shit was Gareth going to have blackmail for life, because rather than vacate Eddie's lap, Steve just turned around in it. 

Reached up with one finger outstretched and proved himself to be very much still under the influence as he touched Eddie's nose.

"Boop!" He said, and then giggled as Eddie dropped onto his ass in surprise. 

Gareth watched Robin as she took the whole thing in, from Steve's snickers to Eddie's shocked expression, eyes growing wide in excitement. 

He failed entirely to cover his own amusement when Eddie abruptly found himself with two sailors invading his personal space, each taking turns to boop his nose. 

“Uh.” He managed to get out, blinking rapidly and at a loss for words. “Ah.” 

Steve caught the metalhead’s awkward, red-faced expression and proceeded to drop his head to Eddie's shoulder, muffling his laughter against the man's vest. 

The helpless look his best friend sent him was one Gareth would remember for a long time. 

“O-kay.” Eddie said, frazzled, as Steve recovered far too quickly, turning to rest his cheek against a slim shoulder as he walked two fingers up Eddie’s battle vest and towards his hair. Likewise, Robin had discovered Eddie’s wallet chain, and had begun fiddling with it. 

One finger curled around a strand of brown hair and Eddie jerked his head, removing the tempting piece away from Steve’s hands. 

“I know you’re used to getting whatever you want, your highness.” He said, his own hand smacking against his waist before Robin figured out the other end of his chain ended in a handcuff, “But you of all people should know the hair is off limits.” 

Completely undeterred, Steve just gave him a loose, easy grin. “It’s so pretty though.” He complained, fluttering his eyelashes in a blatant attempt to try and turn on the ol’ Harrington charm.  “You can touch mine if you want.” 

Yeah, Gareth’s blackmail was getting better by the second. 

He might even get a new piece for his drum kit out of it, if this kept up. 

Free weed too, considering Eddie’s blush was now fire-engine red. 

“Man,” Eddie said in a clear bid to deflect the entire situation (and Steve’s fingers) away from his hair, “the last time someone called me pretty was right before I got pantsed—-is Tommy H hiding in one of the stalls again?” 

Steve picked his head up, confusion crashing down his face. 

“Did he do that?” He asked. 

Then, with growing horror; “Do you think I’d do that?” 

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that your whole little court’s M.O.?” 

Steve sucked in a breath, looking downright hurt. "I wouldn’t do that." He insisted, eyes wheeling from Eddie to Gareth and back, as though hoping Gareth would back him up. 

“I’m not--I’m not friends with Tommy anymore.” Steve continued, voice growing smaller as he spoke. “I’m not friends with anybody anymore, except maybe Dustin.” 

It sounded so defeated; trodden on and subdued that Gareth stepped forward automatically, to do--something. 

Provide the fucking comfort his cousin was oft denied and hug the guy. 

As always, it turned out to be the wrong move. 

"Oh thank god." A kid said, seconds after bulldozing through the main door and nearly bowling Gareth over in the process. "I found them!" He shouted over his shoulder as swept into the room. 

“Speak of the devil.” Steve said flatly, and even drugged, he managed to pull himself back together from distressed to stoic in mere seconds. 

The curly-haired kid--Dustin apparently--stormed right up to the pile of humans splayed on the floor, hands on his hips. "What the hell. We told you two to stay put!" 

Steve rolled his eyes as Robin booed him. 

“Have you forgotten what’s happening? Or how we’re kinda in a Red Dawn situation?” Dustin continued, looking like he’d just escaped from a summer camp. 

The kid even had a walkie talkie clutched in one hand, of all things. 

“We know.” Steve and Robin deadpanned at once, before looking at each other; Steve pointing a finger towards Robin and Robin pointing one back. 

This caused the kids to trade their own long suffering, “can you believe this shit” faces. 

"We need to go, and the only way we’re gonna get out of here unnoticed is if we blend in with the crowd." Dustin said impatiently.  “Now come on Steve, get up already, you've had worse.”

"I really don't think I have." Steve muttered, but moved to push himself to his feet anyway. 

Eddie beat him to it, and he and Gareth both hovered nearby in case Steve was still unsteady. 

Thankfully, the kids' presence seemed to sober up Robin and Steve both. 

Not actually sober, that wasn't how drugs worked, but whatever was left of the fun was sucked right out of the bathroom, replaced by two teenagers who were sort of functional on whatever they'd been drugged with. 

Stress and adrenaline, Gareth knew, could overcome a lot of things. Including Russian "truth serum" apparently. 

“Yeah well you're lucky you got found by these guys and not anyone else. " Dustin continued pointedly, before turning his attention towards Gareth and Eddie both. "Thanks for watching our friends, but we've got them from here." 

Gareth made a sort of unhinged, disbelieving noise. 

 “No, no you do not.” He declared, anxiety clawing at his gut at the mere thought of abandoning Steve to two children. 

"I don't think you heard him." The girl stepped forward, braids swinging about her face as she lifted her chin and nailed him with a cold glare. 

 As if this entire situation couldn’t possibly get weirder, Gareth suddenly realized she had a helmet in her hands and knee pads on.

 "He said we got this. So scram." She flicked her fingers out in a dismissive sort of "shoo" gesture.

"And leave my drugged cousin with his new girlfriend behind!?" Gareth challenged right back, emotions far too raw and frayed to care he was snarling at a little girl. "I don’t think so!”

"Cousin!?" Dustin bit out, sounding almost betrayed for some reason, at the same time Robin who'd been climbing to her feet with Eddie’s help, shouted; "I am not his girlfriend!" 

Steve, clearly unwilling to entertain whatever fight was brewing, clapped his hands together. 

"Yes cousin, Dustin. It's a type of family member." Steve said, after they all flinched and looked to him. He at least looked steadier on his feet this time, though Gareth still lingered nearby in case he took a wrong step. 

"I know what a cousin is, Steve!" Dustin shot back. 

“Then why are you acting like a lunatic?” Steve complained, and Gareth got to watch in real time as Steve pulled on the persona he often wore in high school down around him. “You said it yourself, we don’t have a lot of time. Worse, I don't know if anyone saw Gareth and Munson here with us.” 

He jerked a thumb sideways in Eddie’s direction, not that anyone couldn’t figure out who “Munson” was. 

“They stay with us until we’re out of this mall.” Steve finished, before he started towards the door.

One step he was Gareth’s cousin, drugged and vulnerable because of it. 

The next he stood taller, talked smoother, took charge with an aurora that said he expected everyone to listen to him. 

It was fake as hell, but it worked. 

“I know you’ve got a plan Dustin, so spill it.” He commanded as he walked.  

 Dustin, despite all the squawking, did just that. 

xXx 

Of all the things Gareth had expected to see upon escorting their little ragtag crew out of the bathroom, groups of intimidating, mean looking assholes wasn’t on the list. 

He found himself repeatedly nudging Eddie in the ribs, unable to take his eyes off what was clearly a checkpoint as he staggered to a halt. 

It was one thing to be told people were after Steve and the “Scoop’s Troop” As Robin had jokingly named them. 

It was another entirely to see the security guard directly in front of him look over a woman’s ID before apologizing to her, a sleazy grin matching his oily pony-tail as he waved her on. 

They really were looking for someone. 

Not someone, Gareth realized in dawning horror.

Them. 

Robin apparently, came to the same conclusion seconds later, because she snatched Steve and Dustin’s arms both, hauling them backwards. 

“Argue about Dustin’s address later, we need to find a different way out.” She hissed quietly as she tried to slowly reversed direction, movements still a bit sloppy. 

She might have even gotten away with it, had Sleazy Pony-Tail not turned and made eye contact with Gareth right after she spoke. 

His eyes swept over him, then to the rest of the group, freezing like a cat that had spotted its prey.

“Abort, abort!” Dustin sputtered, wheeling about on his heel. 

Erica, whose name Gareth had learned when she kicked him in the shin after he asked why an actual infant was running around with Steve and Robin, pointed towards the escalators before she beelined over to it, ducking into the center and riding it down like a slide. 

Something Eddied was downright delighted to copy. 

Gareth might have enjoyed it himself, had he not been looking over his shoulder to see not one, not two, but four security guards giving chase--and gaining. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuckikity fuck.” He heard Robin chant as she shot past, Steve planting himself at the top as he made sure everyone got down to the next level before sliding down himself. 

"Do not let them leave!" One of the guards yelled to the others, accent clear as a bell. 

"Holy shit that guy's actually Russian." Gareth found himself saying as he skidded across the floor and bolted after the others, Steve hot on his heels. 

He had kinda expected the Russian thing to be some sort of drug influenced inside joke and not an actual, honest-to-God Soviet. 

Which led to the question of why the fuck adult men in security uniforms had drugged random teenage retail workers.

Food workers.

Whatever the fuck one called a two people who scooped ice-cream in sailor costumes. 

"There's another group up ahead!" Eddie yelped, swerving sideways and nearly taking Erica out while doing it. 

Noise erupted ahead of them in the form of foreign shouting and loud, harshly barked commands to “Freeze!”  

‘Oh hell no.’ Gareth thought wildly, as he caught the form of the giant fricken gun the guard closest to him held. 

“Split up!” Dustin howled, and before anyone could comment about how bad an idea that was, Gareth found himself being yanked sideways. 

Steve swore loudly behind him as Robin, who’d crashed backwards, pulled him in the opposite direction and in a second their group broke in two. Gareth, Eddie and Dustin going one way, Steve, Robin and Erica another. 

"This isn’t happening." Gareth muttered, words made in a sort of pleading denial as he and Eddie turned the corner and immediately vaulted over the counter of an Orange Julius. “I smoked or drank or did something and this is a hallucination that is not. Actually. Happening.” 

Dustin at least, was smart enough to dive around the counter instead of over it, sliding towards them on his knees. 

Eddie quickly yanked him down to the floor in-between himself and Gareth once he was close enough to grab, one hand going over the hat to shove the kids head down. 

Annoying or not, he was at least several years younger than them, and Gareth could practically feel Eddie’s protective instinct kick in as he kept his hand on Dustin’s head. 

Together they tried to silence their breathing as the guards’ shouting continued on behind them. 

What was worse than their noises though, was when they unexpectedly and suddenly, went silent. 

Gareth’s breath felt far too loud as the stillness gained a suppressive weight, pressing down harshly against him and making it harder and harder to inhale. 

‘Panic attack.’ He realized, thoughts a touch detached. ‘You can’t afford to have a panic attack right now.’ 

Not when it had a high chance of getting them all killed. 

Slowly he moved his own free hand, placing it atop of Eddie’s, fingers gripping down in a way that was no doubt painful. 

Eddie glanced over to him and Gareth thanked every single time he’d smoked way too much weed, because his best friend immediately clocked what was wrong. 

Turned his hand over, so that Gareth could hold onto it atop Dustin’s hat. 

It didn’t help with the knowledge that his very much still drugged cousin and his equally drugged not-girlfriend were also hiding somewhere, or that there was significantly more Russians than there where terrified teenagers (and one--whatever age Erica was.)  

Flashlights cut shapes into the wall overheard, trailing along the Orange Julius menu. Quiet voices covered even quieter footsteps and Gareth had the sudden realization the probability of there being more than one guard carrying a huge gun, was very, very high. 

Worse?

This part of the mall wasn’t that big. There were only so many places to hide, and as such, only so many places to look. 

Death comes for everyone eventually, but Gareth hadn’t exactly expected it to show up before he hit twenty.

Not that they could do anything but wait. Pray to God and the universe and any other higher power he could think of to intervene, head pressed hard against the wood behind him as the small noises drew nearer.

What he hadn’t expected was for said prayers to get answered in the form of a of a fucking car being thrown into the Russian’s like bowling balls. 

“Run!” Dustin shouted, and Gareth wasted absolutely no time in doing just that. 

The only goal on his mind was to find Steve, get out, and then have a very long discussion about what the hell this all was, in that exact order. 

[indigovigilance]

Bullet Theory

Thesis: Crowley passed Aziraphale a bullet during the Final Fifteen kiss. This bullet contains his memories. He tucked it under his tongue, then began to access the memories during the ride up the elevator.

Edit: debunked by God himself, in response to this post. As a reminder, please don’t send fan theories to NG.

Proof:

Glint in the mouth

Inspo credit to this post by @somehow-a-human

Yeah so we were already paying way too much attention to that very special four-letter word we thought Aziraphale was going to say, but it so happens that during that cut-off phoneme is the only time you can see this shiny object in his mouth. (catching this on the right frame was emotionally painful and I’m sending Gavin Finney my therapy bills (actually no I’m not I love you very much sir)).

So that’s the basis of this theory. Crowley passed Aziraphale a bullet that he then tucks under his tongue.

Add’l Evidence Post-Kiss

Aziraphale works his jaw after raising his fingers to his lips: [gif]

Then when the Metatron comes in, he turns his back on the Metatron and raises his hand. I originally thought he was wiping his eyes. Now I think he’s raising his hand to his mouth, maybe to spit out the bullet, maybe to make sure it’s secured under his tongue.

Credits Scene

Aziraphale has the craziest fucking look on his face through the credits, we can all agree. But towards the end, his eyes flicker back and forth, as if he is watching or reading something. Then he smiles. I hypothesize that he is still accessing his memories during this time, and getting the information he needs to [redacted].

Thematic Justification: The Bullet Catch

Aziraphale having a bullet in his mouth as part of a two-man act of deception is not a fresh concept by the time we get to The Final Fifteen.

Additionally, the use of surreptitious modes of communication, where messages are passed from person to person inaudabily, is introduced in this same magic trick. 

NB1: I wish I could credit the person who I first saw point this out (relatively recently). It wasn’t even tagged as meta, I don’t think. But the gist was there’s some parallelism between “aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear” and the “pin the lips on the lips” move that Crowley pulls in the Final Fifteen. If I find it I will properly cite.

NB2: One hypothesis that has circulated around, I think creditable to @sendarya, is that Aziraphale mouths “trust me” to Crowley just before he gets on the elevator. This isn’t necessary to the Bullet Theory but it would be thematically consistent.

Small objects carry memories

Why a bullet? Well, it’s a small object that has meaningful significance between the pair of people involved, much like:

Beelzebub introduces us to the idea that a small object like a fly can be used as a storage container for memories. We also see that the object entering the body of the person is a viable way for the memories to be delivered.

(btw Jon Hamm if you’re reading this, you have very pretty eyes)

“I keep a derringer in a hollowed out book”

K, so it’s not like Crowley is just carrying a bullet loaded with Aziraphale’s memories around with him at all times, is it? (I mean, it could be, but probably not. I’ll just point you to this meta for my theories on why, if Crowley had anything that needed to be kept safe, he would keep it in the bookshop.)

We learn in S2E4 that Aziraphale keeps a gun in a hollowed out book somewhere in the shop. A gun wouldn’t be any good without bullets, right? This may not be the reason the derringer was left as a Chekhov’s Gun for S3, but it’s a possibility. If Crowley wasn’t already in possession of a bullet, he knew that he could find one in the shop. Even more likely, the exact bullet used in the 1941 magic trick is a precious keepsake being kept somewhere in the bookshop, and Crowley chose to use that exact bullet because of the memories already directly attached to the object.

Why Aziraphale even has memories to be returned to him

We know that Aziraphale could have had his mind wiped because Heaven has done it before. Certainly once. Probably twice. We know this because when Metatron is announcing that Gabriel, alongside having his memories erased, is being demoted to 38th class, Muriel pipes up and reminds us that they are 37th class:

So this wasn’t a “just Gabriel” thing. Mind-wiping is a routine form of personnel management in Heaven. There is NO reason for us to believe that it didn’t happen to Aziraphale. But in case you need a reason to believe it, here goes:

We know from our interactions with Jim that the person whose memories are missing (1) doesn’t necessarily know and (2) isn’t necessarily distressed by that fact, even if they do. Muriel also fits this “cheerful empty shell” archetype. You know who else does? Ding ding ding. The one and only A. Z. “wiggles with delight” Fell.

I can already hear your very valid counter-argument. This guy is actually terrified out of his mind on any given day that his romance with a demon will be discovered. Yes. Because he’s involved in a romance with a demon. The other two angels we’ve met don’t have this issue. Beyond that, though, these three characters share more in common with each other disposition-wise than any of them do with the other angels we’ve met (Uriel, Michael, Sandolphon, etc.).

We also know that Aziraphale has been [demoted] at some point from Cherub to Principality. This is book canon: 

"Technically Aziraphale was a Principality, but people made jokes about that these days."

This has also been confirmed (insofar as Neil Gaiman ever confirms anything) by Word of God:

(marketing video screengrab clipped for brevity)

We don’t know for sure it was a demotion, but I think we have enough evidence to infer that with a high degree of confidence.

Anyways.

Summary: Aziraphale is a cheerful angel who was demoted and has a name that is not biblical canon. This evidence indicates that was probably mind-wiped. This is not the first time I’m proposing this. It won’t be the last.

How Crowley Did It

My meta on Continuity Errors gives the complete proof for why I believe that Crowley is able to stop time without Aziraphale knowing, and I propose in that meta that the kiss was a cover-up for the exertion of effort necessary to pull that off. I further proposed that during the pause, he retrieved something from the bookshop. At the time of writing, I didn’t know what. Now, I have an inkling that it was a bullet.

If you need a refresher on Clock Theory, here’s one. The idea is that the clock behind Aziraphale shifts by fifteen minutes from before the kiss to after the kiss. This is consistent with a theory that Crowley paused time (but the clock kept running) in order to retrieve the bullet, dump Aziraphale’s memories into it if he hadn’t already, and then return to transfer the bullet to Aziraphale.

Why Crowley Kept the Secret So Long

As with Continuity Errors, I am ending this meta with a very unsatisfactory “I don’t know.” The motivation for Crowley to keep Aziraphale’s memories from him until the very moment he’s about to leave must have been a strong one. I think it has something to do with why Crowley was so insistent on trying to get Aziraphale to run away with him, instead of dealing with whatever’s coming. But as with Continuity Errors, I suspect that the good omens meta hivemind (and the vast collection of people who are posting clues, you have no idea how important you are) will assemble yet more breadcrumbs that we can follow to some sort of hypothesis.

Until then,

iv

(here's my meta index if you would like to read more stuff like this)

[thestobingirlie]

conformity in stranger things

(as we see it through the characters of steve, dustin and eddie)

dustin meets steve while steve is already heading down his own path — he’s leaving behind ideas about high school and relationships, and figuring out who he is without them.

steve, by season two, had already become disillusioned with the idea of high school, and power struggles, and being the most popular guy in school. which is why he doesn’t react to billy’s taunts.

despite what the fandom may have you believe, steve’s seasons long arc about his struggle with conforming to the person people expect him to be is done.

don’t get me wrong, steve is still hanging onto some ideas in s2, like pretending you don’t care to get girls, and seeing nancy as different to all his other girlfriends (though i personally think that speaks more to steve’s prior relationships than the way he views woman).

and so, dustin and their friendship play a major role in steve fully moving on from the concept of ‘conforming’. steve doesn’t want to change who he is to get people to like him, or love him!

and with dustin, he doesn’t!!!

they make up dorky handshakes, and give each other advice. they talk about girls and steve teaches him how to achieve his signature hairstyle.

their relationship impacts both boys, but neither of them are conforming. it’s pretty much the exact opposite!!! despite what some fans would have you believe steve and dustin have a positive impact on each other!!!

dustin doesn’t change who he is to impress steve! he’s just as dorky as before, and in fact imparts some of that dorkiness onto steve!! steve and dustin help each other to find who they are, and figure themselves out.

on the other hand.

eddie had a negative impact on dustin.

dustin in s3 is dorky. he likes science, and school, and building great big radio towers up hills.

dustin in s4 is failing classes, treating friends like shit, his hubris is at an all time high; all aided by eddie’s high opinion of himself and ideas about conforming.

see. when eddie talks about conforming, he doesn’t really understand what he’s talking about (which is why his fans don’t either).

when he criticised people for ‘conforming’, all he’s really talking about is people being interested in things he doesn’t like. parties. band. science. basketball. he looks down on them all.

he makes snap judgments, and reduces them down to stereotypes. we literally watch him learn this on screen!!!

we literally watch as he verbally recognises that he knew nothing about steve, and yet reduced him down to his interest in basketball.

and here’s where the irony comes in. eddie is literally leading the club on conformity.

everyone in hellfire wears the exact same thing, and he makes fun of the clothes they used to wear. he seats himself on a thrown, and judges anyone that wishes to come before him before he deems them worthy to play a game. he’s not accepting all losers. he’s literally telling them they’re lesser than as he stands on tables in the cafeteria, and then fights against erica playing with them… just because he thinks she has to prove herself to him first.

that’s the point of eddie’s character!! that his whole big speech at the beginning of the season is wrong. and we literally see how he’s wrong scenes later when eddie interacts with chrissy.

people watch eddie learn and grow as a person, and then reduce his character right back down to who he was when he was first introduced.

tl;dr — if one of dustin’s relationships is about conformity, it’s his friendship with eddie, not steve. his brother dynamic with steve is about the complete opposite. about reaching across dumb nerd v jock social divides and finding a family.

in looking up to eddie, dustin has let his other interests fall to the wayside. he’s snarkier, makes fun of steve more (just like he’s been watching eddie mock jocks for months), his friendships with the rest of the party are at an all time low.

and yet. some people would have me believe this is dustin’s truest self? who gets his mormon girlfriend to hack into his school because he’s failing latin. who mocks steve for ‘wanting to be a hero’ when just the season before he was prepared to die by steve’s side.

[green-alm0nd]

[Hunter x gn!reader]: I've got my mind on you

----

----

Summary:

Omega is safe, Wrecker, Echo and Crosshair are getting the ship. An injured Hunter tries to get you to the ship, but you both accept your fates.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: SPOILERS FOR TBB S3 FINALE, ANGST, CHARACTER DEATH, sad boy hours, comfort, tired and injured Hunter, tired and injured reader, alternate ending for the finale. Not proofread. This is very, very sad.

A/N: I'm just here to feed some angst BUT there's fluff coming I swear-

(Based on this song from Lana del Rey)

Enjoy!

----

The rain made the floor too slippery to walk quickly, especially for someone as injured as Hunter. He had been shot on his stomach and his shoulder and he was losing blood by seconds.

The good thing was, that Omega had managed to run to the ship with Crosshair, where Echo and Wrecker waited for them. He had completed half the mission.

But then, he had to complete yet another mission, saving you. And most importantly, finding you.

All those clones from Project Necromancer had diverted you from the team, and Hunter had been trying to find you. Now, with Hemlock dead, and Omega safe, he had one last wish to make.

He himself knew he probably wouldn't make it, as he was about to pass out and Echo had to arrive at the ship, which had been left on the other side of Tantiss.

He shook his head, focusing on the task at hand.

And that's when he found you, on the floor, coughing blood. You had probably been shot, just like him. He ran towards you, almost tripping several times in the process, but eventually reaching for you.

He gently tapped your cheeks.

"Hey, hey...come on..." He whispered, panting.

Your gaze held his.

"Hunter...? What- what are you doing here?" You asked, coughing blood.

He pressed his hand on your bleeding torso.

"It doesn't matter, I'm gonna get you out of here, okay?" He assured, kissing your forehead.

It took him several times to get you up, but when he did, he headed directly towards the outer hangar, limping with you on his side, an arm around your shoulders.

....

"Hunter- Hunter, stop." You said, coughing blood.

The clone's body was starting to give up, he had lost too much blood. But he had to save one more person. He had to save you.

He needed to save you.

He didn't stop, forcing himself to keep going before he completely gave out.

It took all of your willpower to stop him, and you fell to the ground, blood trickling down your chin. Hunter tried to get you up, but he fell to his knees, panting in exhaustion as you crawled to one of Tantiss' outer walls. You were panting too, too much blood had been lost.

"Hunter, stop." You repeated, wiping your hands on your already stained shirt.

He followed you, looking at your sitting stance, knowing you didn't have much time, just like him.

But he refused to believe it.

"We need to get you to the ship, you...you need to- you need to live!"

You shook your head, your tears joining the storm falling down the facility.

Hunter tried putting pressure on your wounds. He wanted to save you, even though it was the last thing he would do.

He was bleeding too, and his body started giving up, but he couldn't have cared any less.

With an ounce of strength, you grabbed his cheeks and pressed your lips against his; the taste blood, dirt and rain present on his and your lips. Hunter closed his eyes, wishing everything could fade away for a split second.

"We completed the mission: Omega is safe. She's with the rest. We did it, Hunter. We don't need to keep fighting anymore." You whispered against his lips.

Hunter wanted to protest, but nothing came out of his mouth except for a painful moan, his eyes filling with tears.

"But you're part of the mission too." He said, voice breaking.

You gave him a sad smile, cradling his cheeks once more.

"She'll live, Hunter. She'll have a normal life, she will love, and smile, and cry, and survive. She'll live next to your brothers. And it's all thanks to you." You remarked, pressing your foreheads together.

His eyes filled with tears, swallowing the hard lump on his throat. You intertwined your fingers together.

"You can stop fighting, Hunter." You said.

"You've given me what people search for for their entire lives. You've given me a family, you've shown me love to its fullest. I'm so glad that I met you. You've made Omega happy. You've saved your brothers. You can rest."

Hunter realised how tired he really was, every raindrop seeming like a heavy boulder every time it landed on his skin. He sat down besides you, as the blood path you had both carried started fading away with the water.

You leaned on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and he leaned on your head, your hands still together.

"I...I really wish I could've seen you dance one last time." He muttered.

A weak, tired chuckle left your mouth.

"Would you have danced with me?"

He smiled.

"Always."

He remembered all the times you danced under the Pabu sunset, laughing, smiling, happy that you were home. That memory suddenly turned bittersweet, and so did all the rest of the memories that flew inside his head at that moment.

He kissed your hair, embracing your last moments together.

Your hand was gripping his, as you felt his heartbeat slow down, so did yours.

"I love you." You whispered.

"I love you too." He whispered back, squeezing your hands.

The rain took him back to Kamino, where he first met you.

As the pitter-patter sound from the raindrops seemed to slow down, it became a comforting lull as, hand in hand, you both slipped into the unknown darkness of the afterlife.

----

I feel like a horrible person, what have I created-

Reblogs and shares are highly appreciated <3

My requests are open!

[closetcasefabray]

i found this in my drafts, & i don’t remember when i started to write this, but ta-da! finally wrote something. this is not a cohesive whole (nor is grief so we can pretend it’s intentional).

also this phone business is awful—almost threw it when tripling the length of this (what was supposed to be) drabble 😒 forgive wonky formatting &/or typos. (laptopless life sucks)

this drabble-ficlet thing is for @snowandwolves bc our friendship is based in wrecking each other emotionally with avatrice au’s & headcanons. also some of this was inspired by sixth to the ninth hour, from which i will never recover. but this isn’t complete despair!

—

summary: beatrice returns to switzerland and tries to live her life. (canon compliant, s3, grief)

—

a thing that carries itself

—

It is when you are asking about something that you realize you yourself have survived it, and so you must carry it, or fashion it into a thing that carries itself.

(nox, anne carson)

—

beatrice knows hans could close the bar down on his own while blindfolded on a night like tonight—not much money to be made mid-week with dwindling tourists and seasonal stays—but beatrice doesn’t suggest it, and hans doesn’t offer. he’s come to recognize when beatrice needs some company, even if it’s just a couple hours and they exchange few words.

—

beatrice returned to switzerland a few days after camila found her asleep at the arc for the fourth time.

(jillian is moving it back to her lab to rebuild, camila offered with a gentle smile—one that expressed she too was hopeful, but not so much she wished to give beatrice too high of expectations.

beatrice knew, even with every scientific expert working on the arc, it would take over a year to repair the arc and source enough power within their earthly limitations for it to open even briefly. beatrice also knew it would likely require a decade of research before someone could go through the arc, let alone explore the alien realm beyond it.

as of a month ago, the arc team is still a few brilliant nuns led by a genius scientist, but when beatrice looks at them, she only sees young women—too young to be willing to die in a holy war—and a mother mourning the loss of her son for a second time.)

before she left, beatrice said goodbye through the arc—if only for the smallest chance a loving god would take pity on her and split open the barrier between realms just briefly enough for her words to reach through to ava:

see you at home. (i love you.)

—

when beatrice first arrived back to town, she became overwhelmed as she took in the remarkably unchanged neighborhoods, all the same buildings standing as they had when she and ava left in the night.

(the ache in her chest turned bitter, so much so she had to refrain from shaking the couples laughing and enjoying each other’s company in the sunshine—ava is gone. do you understand? don’t you feel it too? the absence of her?)

their old flat sat untouched as well; beatrice knew the elderly couple who owned the building weren’t eager to put much work into clearing it out to show it to young university kids who would be far too loud for their liking. (not that ava would ever be considered quiet—she had charmed them like she does everyone.) they warmly welcomed beatrice back and handed her the keys within the hour.

(she found a crumpled tank top of ava’s in the back of the closet and, holding it in her hands, pressed to her chest, she let herself cry for the first time in weeks, sitting on the dusty floor, counting the pieces of furniture in the room that ava once touched.)

the usually absent bar owner also returned the keys and beatrice’s managerial position before she even finished asking if they were hiring.

(what about hans?

he likes being head bartender.

there’s really no one else?

i’ve had two different managers and three different bartenders come and go since you and ava left. i can’t find a replacement half as good as either of you.

beatrice isn’t sure what expression he read on her face, but he didn’t say ava’s name again after that.)

—

throughout the next few weeks, beatrice thought returning to a place so full of memories of ava was possibly some misguided, catholic-guilt-induced self-flagellation—to wake up in their bed alone, to drink tea across from an empty chair, to walk the familiar paths to their favorite places without her—the lack ached in the hollow of beatrice’s core like penance.

maybe i’m meant to feel like this, she thought, and still thinks at times, but then she remembers ava in the gold room—the only thing holy in a temple devoted to a false prophet—telling beatrice to live her life. (gospel, she thinks.)

when ava kissed her, beatrice didn’t think of sin or hell. she thought only of the truth of ava’s lips, her body—capable of flight and phasing through stone—standing before beatrice and choosing love, a tenderness the world had never offered her. it was the opposite of sin—it was sacrament, a baptism that tasted of salt as they kissed, bathed in light.

so beatrice stays and tries each day.

(we are all just trying to be holy.)

—

in the months of staying, of trying to live her life, her friendship with hans has grown into something quieter and gentler than beatrice would have expected from the same bartender who had taught ava german curses and euphemisms. (beatrice would pretend she couldn’t hear as they whispered conspiratorially, knowing ava was familiar with more than half of the swears, but ava was still delighted by every cautiously murmured phrase hans offered her.)

it surprised beatrice at first, to find that hans actually likes her as she is—his overly organized manager-turned-friend who drinks tea out of the same mug every afternoon she comes into work and almost never drinks alcohol but will sip the occasional “virgin cuba libre” when he asks her to hang out with him after work for a shift drink. hans is even familiar enough with beatrice to occasionally tease her in german, her fluency allowing her to respond with a quick-witted retort. she smiles at his amusement, and he is thrilled by each new detail he learns of her.

beatrice is grateful to be closer to someone who doesn’t owe god his life, who remembers ava as ava—not the warrior nun or the halo-bearer.

(instead, hans remembers training ava at the bar, her focus when he taught her classic cocktail specs, and her enthusiasm that breathed life and vibrancy back into the bar job he had begun to find tedious. he remembers making ava laugh so hard her cuba libre came out of her nose, the little snort in her laugh when something amusing surprised her, the pout she’d use before asking for a favor—always far less effective on hans than beatrice. he remembers ava beaming when she mastered a new skill, her eyes finding beatrice to check if she saw—beatrice always saw and always smiled back; how could she not? beatrice was a moon in ava’s orbit, and she had no other option but to glow in her light.)

mostly beatrice is grateful that their friendship doesn’t try to fill the space and silence ava used to occupy; instead they fashion it into a kind of shared insulation for them to keep warm in the cold of grief. so when beatrice daydreams over the books at the bar and something startles her back into this realm without ava, she appreciates that hans doesn’t say anything to draw attention to the way her eyes shine with the sorrow of reality, like they did the first time hans said ava’s name months ago and all at once beatrice felt the air leave her lungs and her eyes burn. hans will stay nearby in those moments, offering an ear if she does wish to talk, but far enough she doesn’t feel obligated to explain it. sometimes it’s just the comfort of someone nearby who misses ava too.

(occasionally beatrice lets her mind project ava across the bar, watching her move from table to table, turning to beatrice and giving her a wink, hips swaying to a german pop song, sometimes accompanied by a little spin as if she wasn’t carrying a precariously balanced tray of glassware. but when the reel in beatrice’s mind starts to fade and flicker, she blinks and the shining sadness of her eyes dims into a melancholy others often mistake for stolidness—when the vision of ava smiling and making drinks beside hans blurs, it’s too ghostly for beatrice because ava is alive.

beatrice doesn’t find much comfort in god these days, but she still has faith.)

—

beatrice steps outside with hans, takes a deep breath, looks up at the unpolluted skies, and finds the constellations ava drew when they would sneak onto the roof of their flat when the nights were clear. beatrice has taken to writing the mythology of each one in her head as she walks home at night. she often considers writing some kind of scripture based less in fear and shame and more in love and forgiveness. maybe if she tells the stories enough, ava will return a new testament.

(but beatrice promised herself that once ava returns, she won’t share ava with the world—no temples, no saviors, no holy wars. beatrice wants to watch the sun set on the ocean, casting ava in golden light that doesn’t feel like a goodbye. she wants ava to press her lips to hers again but as a greeting, as a stay here with me. she wants to watch the sunrise spill across ava’s face like a promise beatrice will keep. she wants ava, and she is learning to forgive herself for this—the selfishness, not her love—beatrice’s love does not apologize.)

“are you off work tomorrow?” hans asks as they start walking the several blocks toward their respective apartments.

“yes, but if you need—”

hans shakes his head vigorously, and beatrice gives him a small half-smile.

“you should go to the library, get a couple books. if you come by, i’ll make you tea but you absolutely cannot work,” he says, pointing his finger at beatrice with an exaggerated sternness.

beatrice smiles a little wider, “i won’t.”

when they reach the cross streets where they part ways, hans wraps his arms around beatrice’s shoulders, and she wraps hers around his waist—a strange arrangement of limbs both of them had grown up unfamiliar with, something that ava taught them to appreciate—touch, closeness, a human intimacy too many would never admit they needed. so they make a point to hug each other for brief moments to carry that part of ava with them.

—

her nighttime routine unfolds as muscle memory so her mind wanders to work, hans, and always ava. she climbs into bed and imagines ava teasing her for keeping her shirt under her pillow, where she rubs the fabric between her fingers.

you always liked being close to me when we slept, ava would say.

i always liked being close to you when we were awake, beatrice would confess.

she savors the moments just before sleep, when those minutes are hers alone without obligations or the weight of the outside world—her mind in a free fall. (when beatrice was a child and her mother was kinder, she would soothe beatrice after a nightmare by telling her to think of all the exciting things tomorrow would bring.) as if directing the trajectory of her plummet, she chooses ava every time.

she closes her eyes and plays the memories against the back if her eyelids, setting her unconscious mind on a path toward a kind of imagined heaven, so maybe—just maybe—beatrice will see ava again in her dreams.

tonight she is walking into work, and ava looks up and smiles at her from behind the bar.

hey, bea.

hi. she feels something joyous swell inside her, and the glassware behind the bar starts to glimmer as she walks toward ava. i missed you.

we had breakfast together this morning, ava says with a laugh, but once beatrice is beside her, ava leans close and whispers, i miss you too, bea. everyday.

when ava pulls back slightly, beatrice sees it—the melancholy half-smile on ava’s lips, her dark, shining eyes. the shimmering light grows, and beatrice feels ava’s hands take hers and pull her closer.

i’ll see you at home soon. ava tucks a strand of bea’s hair behind her ear, and she feels herself lean into her touch.

ava—

it’s okay, bea. just wake up.

when beatrice opens her eyes, she can see the night sky outside her window, but the flickering light of her ocs necklace on her bedside table seems to light the entire room. she cradles it in her hands and decodes it on the first pass, but to be sure, she watches it flash three more times—ava is alive.

—

fin

—

thanks for reading!

some rambles/notes:

i almost never write from bea’s perspective bc she’s v smart—i’m decidedly not bea-smart (nor am i ava-smart but i am ava-eager-&-a-little-reckless, so that’s what i typically lean toward). so i think i did a rewatch & felt a little heartbroken. also p sure i drank half a bottle of wine during the rewatch so that may have been why this is [gestures vaguely] like this.

but anne carson and richard siken are my roman empires, so i named this after the opening anne carson quote from nox. and i will always think of avatrice when i remember we were in the gold room where everyone finally gets what they want . . . we are all just trying to be holy.

also what i didn’t include & is in my head:

- hans & bea’s talk about what happened with ava. basically “she had to leave, and i don’t know if… i don’t know when she’ll come back” & hans isn’t sure what it means but he never tells beatrice to move on bc he knows he couldn’t understand what happened. mostly he saw them together and he’s never seen beatrice smile the way she did with ava. also i said beatrice rarely drinks but she & hans have this conversation with wine involved. the drunk cry bar staff bond is real.

- the day beatrice realizes she’s been without ava longer than she was with her—she’s marking the date in the inventory book, then she just stops as her brain does the math against her will. hans sees her hands are trembling & he just knows. he takes bea up to the office & gives her some water. he asks, “do you think your home will help or make this harder right now?” so he has beatrice over to his small, neat apartment and he makes some food for her. he asks if it’s about ava & whether or not bea wants to talk about it. she doesn’t want to talk, but she says hans can talk about her. so hans tells bea some of his memories with ava. thus some of the memories included.

anyway, sorry? i guess?

also if you haven’t—read @snowandwolves fics if you want coherent & complete(ly devastating & healing) fics:

sixth to the ninth hour is canon compliant s3 & basically ava walks through hell to get back to bea. 😭 i cried. my heart ached. but also there’s plenty of spice 😏 [ava eyebrow wiggle]. all my favorite things heh…

leave the light on (i'll find my way home) is lighthouse au. our babes are so soft and in love 🥹 i went on a trip to see puffins & lighthouses bc of this. the whole fic is incredible, but there’s this one part in the lighthouse… i think it altered my brain chemistry in the best way.

[amuseoffyre]

This may be wishful thinking...but earlier in The Episode, we get Crowley explicitly comparing Heaven to a beehive, with himself as the hornet, safely escorted inside its well-guarded borders. Aziraphale refuses Metatron's offer several times, outright...until the Metatron bring Crowley into it, and only then does he agree. Crowley's existence on the line is clearly a game-changer. During the end credits, as the lift is going up, we see Aziraphale's carefully neutral expression shift into a smile. I wonder if he knew Crowley would refuse, which is why he doesn't seem as devastated as we'd expect, and his goal was just to get into Heaven, in an accepted, established position.

Is it too much to hope that Aziraphale may have something more on the mind, once he gets to Heaven, than being a god little worker bee?

My thought when it came to Crowley's comment there was that Aziraphale knows Heaven is like that too and part of his logic about getting Crowley into Heaven with him is that "once you're in there", they don't see you as an invader.

If we extend the bee metaphor further, Aziraphale has been convinced he's going into heaven as the person in charge. He believes he'll be able to make a difference in there. But you can't have two queen bees in a hive. One of them will always kill the other. They will not take a rival. This is between Aziraphale and the Metatron now.

My brain went to Pratchett's Lord and Ladies book as soon as the bee analogy came up as well because it's a good summation of Heaven. They're an entity working towards a single goal. They all work together, unquestioning, but the second there are two forces at loggerheads (two queens) it doesn't work. As Terry put it so succinctly "slash! Stab!" - you can't have two people trying to control/run it. One will destroy/get rid of the other and only the strongest will prevail.

And I think S3 is when Aziraphale realises exactly how strong he is. A lot of the time he's let the other angels squash him down, confine and constrain him with their rules and codes, but now, he has gone all-or-nothing to protect Crowley and humanity. Now, he won't hold back.

The Metatron believes he is predictable and I think that'll come back and bite him hard, because yes Aziraphale is predictable in that he will defend. But he was a soldier once, a fighter, and he will fight if needs be. As Crowley said to Nina, "he's unpredictable". This is the angel who told Heaven to stuff it and backflipped out of there to go and stop Armageddon 1.0. More recently, he was willing to put Heaven and Hell on a war footing to protect two humans. He didn't need to. He could have just removed himself from the situation, but he stayed to protect them as they stayed to help him.

Slash. Stab. The Metatron has no idea who he has invited back into his hive.

[queen-haq]

Fic: Never You (Polin) - Part 6

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV show)

Spoilers: S3 released scenes.

Summary: They may have been friends once but his callous words decimated their relationship. Determined not to have anything to do with him, Penelope is ready to move on. But Colin isn’t giving up, not at all. Friends or not, they are connected for life - and he intends to remind her of that.

Excerpt:

“You would hate me for not wanting to court you. You would be that selfish?”

“Of course you would think that.”

“What else is this if not punishment?”

Masterlist (contains links to previous parts and my other stories)

Chapter 6

Dearest Penny,

I hope this letter finds you well.

My journey home was perilous and took far too long. However, I did receive good news upon my arrival. Mother was awake in bed, the worst of her illness having passed recently. It will still take a few weeks but the doctor is confident she will recover fully. I have told her a lot about you. As I predicted, she is excited to meet you. 

I miss you. I remind myself it’s only a matter of time before we can start our new life together, full of adventure and laughter, but it still feels too long.

Once my affairs are settled, I will be traveling to London to see you. I know your Mama will not take kindly to me but I hope to win her over with my intelligence and wit (I’m envisioning the mocking smile on your lips as I write this).  If all else fails, I shall win her approval through jewelry, as you suggested. Hopefully that will alleviate her concerns about an untitled son-in-law.

Love,

Arthur.

Penelope read the letter again, smiling to herself. While she and Arthur could converse for hours, his letters tended to be short and to the point. And though they lacked a writer’s flair, his letters still felt distinctly like him and she appreciated that.

With other men she was shy and tongue-tied, and they were never interested in her anyway, but Arthur Debling had been different. At a dinner gathering in Ayleshire, it was he who had approached her, and once she got over her initial shyness the conversation flowed between them. Perhaps it was because he was a merchant and not a member of nobility, but from the very beginning he treated her with respect and a matter-of-fact stance rarely displayed by others. To him she wasn’t some woman in desperate hunt for a husband or an awkward, shy wallflower to be avoided at all times. She was Penelope Featherington and she was enough.

For the first few weeks there had been no romantic intentions, they simply talked of art and poetry. Over time she came to see he possessed a brilliant scientific mind that he went out of his way to hide. Only when she questioned him did he finally admit he was embarrassed of his intelligence and felt the need to dampen his curious mind from others. That was the first night she started to see him in a different light.

“Penelope!”

The sound of Mama's voice brought Penelope out of her reverie. After hiding the letter, she made her way toward her mother’s chamber in the opposite corner of the hallway. Portia was already dressed for bed and brushing her hair when Penelope entered the room. “Yes, Mama?”

The older woman cast her a quick glance in the mirror. “Lady Violet has invited us for tea tomorrow afternoon.”

Pen paused. Tea at the Bridgertons meant seeing Eloise and perhaps even Colin. “I will be in-”

“And before you come down with a sudden case of illness, I will remind you that personal invitations of this nature have been rare of late. We can not afford to turn down any, let alone the Bridgertons.”

Between the Marina scandal and then Cousin Jack, there were many who no longer wished to associate with the Featheringtons. While that was a relief for Pen, she knew the slow exclusion really hurt Portia even if she did hide the pain behind a mask of angry condescension.

“Yes, Mama. I understand.”

“Good. Now get some sleep, child. I will not have you looking haggard tomorrow.”

Penelope sauntered back to her chamber, her mind still reeling. No doubt Eloise would be present and angry with her. Would she at least pretend to be polite? Pen didn’t know. So far they had mostly avoided each other, except for the ball last week when Eloise had warned her to stay away from Colin.

After entering the chamber, she was busy locking the door when a noise startled her.

“Pen.”

Colin’s throaty growl made her gasp, her body suddenly taut.

Hesitant, she turned around.

It had been two days since she last saw him at the park. And now he was here in her chamber, shamelessly sitting at the edge of her bed. Hair tousled, clothes messy and disheveled, he stared at her intently. His face was unshaven, revealing a stubble growth of a day or two. Instead of taking away from his looks, however, it only emphasized his handsomeness more.  

Her heart started pounding in her chest, both from the anger that flooded through her veins and the knowledge that his hold upon her was still so potent. “How did you get in here?” she asked, keeping her voice steady so he couldn’t sense how much his presence unnerved her.

“I climbed up the tree and through the window.”

As if violating her privacy was a daily occurrence for him.

“You’re so very determined to ruin me, aren’t you?”

“I was careful. No one saw me.”

“Well, that makes it alright then.”

“I didn’t take you as the sarcastic sort, Pen.”

“Add it to the growing list of things you don’t know about me.”

He didn’t respond, his eyes locked with hers.

The silence between them grew more tense by the second while they held still, as if a single movement could ignite a fire that would burn them both.

And then he stood up. “Do you know why I’m here, Pen?”

There was a button missing from his waistcoat, dirt on his breeches, and he had never looked more beautiful than he did at that moment. Her heart flipflopped in her chest. “I don’t care. I simply want you to leave.”

A bitter smile shadowed his lips. “Because it’s that easy for you, isn’t it? You’ve moved on already.”

“Yes.” The strength in her voice surprised even her when all she felt was anxiety twisting up her insides. “It’s time you do the same.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried? That I’ve been trying?” Anger laced his words, hurt etched onto his face. “You don’t want to have anything to do with me yet I can’t imagine a single moment of my life without you. Why is that, Pen?”

With a slow and deliberate gait, he swaggered forward.

“Why can’t I stop thinking about you? Your voice, your smile, your taunts...” He tapped the side of his temple erratically, eyes heavy with emotion. “Always in my fucking mind, refusing to give me even one moment of peace. You’ve been torturing me!"

With every step that drew him closer, waves of madness surged through her body. She didn’t want to feel like this, like her mind and body were completely out of her control.

“Why is this happening to me, Pen?” His voice cracked. “Why do I feel this way?” He clutched his heart, his long, lean fingers rubbing the spot over his waistcoat repeatedly. “It didn’t used to be like this, I was fine before! But now I think about you leaving me and it’s like I can’t breathe. Like a part of me will be lost forever.”

Her eyes softened. The man standing in front of her wasn’t the one who broke her heart. In his place was her dear friend, the boy she had known her entire life and loved for as long, and he was pleading for her help. “That empty feeling will go away, Colin. I promise.” She took a furtive step toward him. “You’ve only just returned, your life probably feels untethered with everything changing around you. But give it time, let yourself settle in, and things will be better.”

He stopped in his tracks. “Nothing will ever be the same without you.”

“It will, I promise.” She sent him a sad smile. “You will meet someone beautiful and kind, and she will be everything you ever wanted. The true love of your life. And this sadness that you feel right now will become a distant memory.”

A beat of silence followed as he contemplated her words.

Would the agonizing pain that coursed through her at the thought of him with another woman ever lessen? She didn’t know. Maybe with time and distance she would be free of this curse, but for now he was still very much embedded in her soul and the eventual reality of him falling in love made her want to retch.

“Is that what you think will happen for you, Pen? You’ll marry this Arthur and make me a distant memory?”

There was no outward change in him yet she immediately sensed the shift within.

He cocked his eyebrow. “Do you think I will let that happen?”

She stared at him defiantly as he approached her. “You have no say in my life.”

“But I do, Pen.” The glint in his gaze sharpened, making his blue eyes appear even darker. “Because it’s me you’re in love with. It’s me you swore never to forsake.” He came to a stop in front of her, forcing her to look up at him. “I intend to hold you to that.”

Her anger returned. “And I intend to fight you. Because I will not sacrifice my future to appease your selfishness.”

“I know,” he sighed, regret looming over his face. “I should never have asked you to do that. But that’s why I’m here, Pen. I want to make things right between us.”

Her demand to know how died on her lips as soon as he retrieved something out of the pocket of his waistcoat. Stunned, she stood frozen as he held out an emerald ring, one she recognized right away from having seen Lady Violet wear it occasionally. 

“My father gifted this to my mother on their tenth anniversary.” There was reverence in his voice as he spoke. “I think he chose it especially for the colour. It’s remarkable, isn’t it?”

She swallowed, nodding. “Yes, it’s beautiful.”

“This has always been my favourite of mother’s jewelry. I knew one day I would gift it to my wife.”

Her mind went blank.

“And maybe now is that time.” He bent down on one knee in front of her, holding up the ring. “Will you marry me, Penelope Featherington?”

Time stopped.

For so long all she wanted was to be Colin’s wife. In her mind marrying him meant she would finally be happy and fulfilled. He would be the perfect husband, and she would be a member of the happy and loving Bridgerton family at last. All her dreams would finally be realized.

Except she wasn’t happy or even excited. The man she loved was on his knees, proposing to her, and all she could think about was how wrong it all felt. The proposal didn’t come from a place of love. No. Instead it was borne out of fear and a stubborn refusal to grow up. A last resort so he didn’t have to face losing their friendship.

Then there was Arthur. With him she didn’t have to hide, she could be who she truly was and not have to apologize for it. And she could continue to write, whether that be as Lady Whistledown, someone new or even herself, and do so without shame or regret.

Colin may have been her lifelong dream but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have new ones. And with Arthur, the life she wanted was within her grasp. A true possibility rather than simple fantasy.

Immediately she felt a sense of peace, knowing she was doing the right thing for herself.  “I’ve already said this to you before. I’m betrothed to another.”

In one fluid motion he slid the ring back into his pocket before rising to his full height. He had always towered over her but that had never intimidated her before. For the first time she felt a small twinge of fear percolating in her stomach, realizing the stark darkness on his face was also new.

He was quiet, too quiet, stalking her every move with his eyes, slowly pushing forward. A predator enjoying the rituals of the hunt, preparing his prey for the kill. Instinctively she retreated, moving back until the door lodged against her spine. He continued to move in, slowly but ferociously, invading every inch of her space until he was standing directly in front of her. She craned her neck to meet his stare, refusing to bow down.

“Is that a no, Penelope?”

She couldn’t think with him so close but she held strong. "Yes."

“Even though you’re in love with me and not fucking Arthur.” 

Maybe he thought throwing her love back in her face would embarrass her into submission but it had the opposite effect. Infuriated, she stood on her tiptoes to glare up at him. "So what? You think you can use my feelings to manipulate me?" She shook her head no. "I have dreams that matter to me far more than my love for you. And I will not jeopardize my chance to achieve them just for scraps of your attention."

Her words were meant to provoke his temper so he would withdraw. Instead his eyes softened as he hunched lower to look at her, his gaze roaming languidly over her face, a gentleness to them that made her insides dance with anticipation. She trembled when his hands cupped her cheeks while he studied every inch of her features, as if marking her in his memory. And then his thumb gently brushed over her pout, his dark blue eyes following the tremor of her lips, and all she could do was breathe slowly, tentatively, her heart drumming in her chest.

“I used to think you were the sweetest person I knew. Always so kind and agreeable,” he murmured, more to himself than her. “And easily forgotten.”

It hurt. Even though she had always known that that’s how people viewed her, if they bothered to see her at all - but to have him admit it was a different kind of pain. “Then forget me. Leave.”

He didn’t move, his gaze concentrated on her lips, thumb stroking left to right, right to left. “And now I can’t get this impertinent mouth of yours out of my head.”

It came as a shock when she realized Colin was hard, his erection pressed against her body. "You're aroused."

He met her eyes. “I’m aware.”

She swallowed audibly. “Why?”

Irritation surged through him. “You’re here, dressed in a robe with your beautiful hair down, talking to me, arguing with me, breathing around me, and you ask me why I’m aroused?” His hands slid down her body until they were at her waist, fingers curving into her sides as he pressed her tightly against him.

A faint gasp escaped her lips feeling his hardness.

“I want you, Pen,” was his raw, throaty plea. “I can’t stop.”

“Show me.” Her voice was firm, determined. “Show me how much you want me.”

To be contined...

A/N - Thank you for the support on this fic. Hope you're still enjoying it!

[munsons-melody]

the russian starlette (prelude)

summary: after taking a job at starcourt, you accidentally get entangled with russians underneath the mall who decided to experiment on you, causing you to gain telekinetic powers

pairing: female!henderson!reader x eddie munson x steve harrington?

cw: none

word count:  1.0k

a/n: this part of the fic takes place in s3/the summer of 1985 and follows the storyline of s3 closely

✰ part one: the prelude

✰ part two: the experiment

✰ part three: the return (coming soon)

masterlist

i do not consent to having any of my works republished, translated, or posted to any other site except here. if you see my works anywhere but tumblr, it has been republished without my knowledge, consent, or permission

。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

god you wish you never took that stupid job at starcourt mall, but steve was a little too convincing...

"c'mon y/n, we'll go in, apply to a couple of places and if we hear back that's great and then you can save up for a car and i'll save up for college or whatever" steve explained as you sat in his car outside the mall

the engine was turned off, leaving you to contemplate in the silence, your head leaning against the window and your body facing him in the drivers seat

"i don't know steve... a job at the mall?" you questioned and he looked at you with eyes sweeter than honey

"look, you've been saying yourself you feel bad i'm driving you everywhere and that your mom would meet you halfway on the price of a car" he said, using your own words against you

"yeah and eddie's not around to drive me too" you said sadly

you sighed

okay fine, part of the reason you didn't want to get a job at starcourt was because your boyfriend eddie was touring around america with some new band called guns n' roses and it made you feel like the biggest loser that you're stuck in the the middle of nowhere indiana working at a mall

but you knew steve was right, and that you couldn't depend on eddie to drive you to school anymore, and that you felt bad that steve had been driving the two of you around the past few months

you knew you needed the independence so you sighed, and got up, your back cracking a little in the process

"fine, let's go get a job but i'm not dealing with anything with food" you said as the two of you got out of the car and shut the doors

"yeah i'm sorry but you really just can't cook for shit" steve laughed and the two of you started walking inside

。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

after a month at working at the gap, and seeing your paycheck, things weren't too bad working at the mall

steve got his job at scoops ahoy and luckily, his schedule somehow coincided with yours so he would drive the two of you

you had talked to eddie a few times over the past week, last time you guys spoke he said he was somewhere on the east coast and he was very happy for you and your new job

of course, you still felt like a loser working at the gap in hawkins while your boyfriend is an actual rockstar but steve made the mall bareable

plus, you finally became friends with robin, a girl you would always see around school but never talked to

the three of you would hang out constantly, and you were just happy in your little life of sneaking into the movies with them, or when steve would finish up before you and bother you in the store by trying on random clothes to keep you entertained till you left an hour later

that was until dustin came home from summer camp

you had finished up early at your shift at the gap, and walked over to scoops ahoy to bother steve and robin for the remainder of their shifts

it was nearing dinner time, meaning, most people weren't getting ice cream to eat, leaving the shop empty but you heard the three of them bustling around in the back

you rang the bell, and steve opened up the small window that separated the back room from the front counter

"oh hey y/n, we're just uh- doing stuff back here..." steve said, glancing behind him and then back to you

"wait it's y/n?" you heard dustin say and suddenly his face appeared next to steve's

"come back here, quickly and calmly, i need to tell you something huge" dustin said and you did as you were told

a few minutes later, dustin had explained how he picked up a russian transmission, and that they were trying to crack a secret russian code

hours after hours, you continued to listen to the same message over and over again till eventually you all figured out they were talking about the mall

which led you to the next problem, getting past the big scary russian with a big gun guarding the door

"or i could take him out" steve said nonchalantly

"take who out?" robin questioned

"the guard?" steve replied

"did you forget the part about the big gun?" dustin asked with an annoyed tone

but that guy was the least of your worries

after the secret elevator plummeted down to a crash on the bottom floor, and all five of you slipped through the elevator doors, you were on to finding more of the russians underneath starcourt

after walking for what seemed like miles, you all stumbled upon the hub full of russian guards, scientists, doctors, along with the comms room

and of course chaos ensued again

once in the comms room, you were taken aback by seeing someone in the room with you

robin tried to say the code to the russian man before steve started screaming and charged at the man, knocking him out

"you did it! you won a fight!" dustin exclaimed before a bigger issue caught your eye, the russian's were attempting to open the gate with a large machine which instantly made your stomach drop

alarms started blaring when the guards noticed the five of you, causing panic to ensue and everyone started running

your heart was pounding as everyone scrambled to outrun the guards, steve knocking over giant steel barrels in attempts to slow them down when you all ran into a room, slamming the door behind you

steve pressed his body against the door to keep it shut

"help me!" he yelled as the you and robin ran to him, pressing against the door with all your might

you watched as dustin and erica climbed up stairs and started descending into a hole in the floor

the weight of the guards pushing back seemed to be getting greater and greater

"i'll never forget you!" dustin screamed

"go!" you all screamed in unison as dustin shut the hatch

the guards eventually pushed open the door, causing everyone to go flying

it all went in slow motion as they opened the door, the weight of the push had sent your body flying to the wall, knocking you into complete darkness

to be continued…

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Of course I cried (a TBB S1 Retrospective and cry fest)

I finished S1 and it honestly is still stands really strong. While I love the other seasons more (for quite obvious reasons), S1 still has really standout moments and episodes such as the finale. Crosshair might be in is bad boy era, but he's still incredibly compelling.

What hurts to me most about S1 is this image above. This is the last time CF99 is all together. Ever. Obviously, we didn't know that and neither did our boys and Omega. Even if the Batch knew in-universe there was a chance that they would never see each other again, I think deep down they hoped they would reunite. I know Omega had hope that Crosshair would somehow find his way home.

What makes S1 (and the whole show in retrospect) even more tragic is that we will never see the BB whole ever again. It makes Tech's death hurt that much more because he and Crosshair never made proper amends. The last thing he hears Crosshair talk about is how everyone else is foolish for not joining the Empire and making his choice to stay. One of the last memories Crosshair really has of his brother is him pointing his blaster at him. After that, it's a one way ticket to suffering for Crosshair.

I know it's just a show, but images like the one above make me wish we had more time with the Batch before they were so cruelly torn apart from each other and it only enhances the tragedy they go through. The series finale, no matter how sunshiney it looks, is still bittersweet. The Batch finally get their freedom but at a great cost. Tech doesn't make it. Crosshair is still deeply hurting. It's a harsh reality that breaks my heart. In Rebels, we had 3 seasons of the Ghost crew together before we lost both Kanan and (temporarily) Ezra. The BB don't even get a single season all together. I would've loved to see them all with each other at least one more time without all the conflict.

But looking at S1 as a whole in general, I still really enjoy it. I love episodes like "Common Ground" or "War-Mantle" because we see how monstrous the Empire really is right out of the gate. Rampart, as goofy as that scream made him look, is a very crafty and entertaining villain who you just want to punch in the face. Crosshair himself is a fantastic villain who's both ruthless and tragic. While he doesn't hold back, the clear attachment he still has to his brothers in the back half of the season make the finale that much more emotional.

And while you can argue there is a lot of "filler," a rewatch proves that each episode happens for a reason. Why did the Batch have to capture a baby Rancor? So they could get info on Fennec. How come they stuck around to help Cid? Because she gave them money and work. I'm not saying that it's the most entertaining content we've seen, but there is a clear purpose for why those episodes happen.

I would've loved to see more Crosshair (for obvious reasons), but I do think the first season does balance out the story arcs well and when we do see him, he is always great. Thanks to the great music and acting from DBB, I do think the first season makes it clear that while Crosshair isn't leaving the Empire, he's not the same man he was pre-Bracca. The chip's influence isn't there (or at the very least severely diminished based on how you interpret Cross' reveal) and he does want them back but only on his terms.

As for the others, I definitely understand Hunter a bit more. He wants to help Crosshair, but he really doesn't know how nor does he want to endanger the others. I wish the group had a least one conversation about it though. For a group that feels like they should be very tight knit, it still feels like they brush Cross' departure off quite quickly. It's kinda like the Tech scenario in S3 where you know they're thinking about it, but nobody says anything. And that's frustrating because you know the Batch have a lot on their mind, especially Crosshair. And ironically, the quietist of the Batch is the most vocal about his feelings. Crosshair is so expressive and it's one of my favorite things about it.

Omega is such a cute munchkin. I adore her with every fiber of my being. She takes everything with stride and I love how S1 establishes many skills (like the hustling) that will later come into play in S2 or S3. And the show isn't afraid to show her learning process. Omega makes many mistakes, but she learns quickly and tries again. She loves her brothers so much.

Overall, S1 is still very strong and much more tragic in retrospect. I guess in someways, it reminds us how unfair life can be sometimes and that's why we gotta cherish each moment. Tech might no longer be with us, but he lives on through each of his brothers and Omega. Cross might never see him again, but as he tries to be better, Tech is no doubt smiling down from Clone Heaven.

Anyways, onto S2 (and more sadness). TBB lowkey is the most tragic of the SW animated shows not counting the Siege of Mandalore arc in CW. Every season, something awful happens to tear our little clone family apart. That's why the ending on Pabu, no matter the quality of writing, meant so much to me.

[darcytaylor]

I am surprised Luke's team hasn't taken temp of the lukewarm reacting and lack of engagement on all things Luke + gf and worked to establish a new narrative for him. Even a lighthearted podcast guest spot would've made a big difference IMO. And if doing an appearance wasn't something he had in him, a few better instagram posts would've at least started setting up a new story around him and his career.

It took a bit for other season's leads to line up some projects, so they could've easily done a bit of a pivot in effort to clear up some of the subpar press around him in effort to set up whatever is up next for him.

Even his few posts since S3 came out don't seem to be well thought out, or that good of content.

I'm also desperate to know what the other Bridge cast thought about pap pics of him and his GF going out the day of the part 2 premiere lol. At best, it seemed sloppy and horribly timed, and at worst it seemed attention pulling and like he couldn't wait to get off the Bridgerton train.

It is a really sad situation to see play out if I am being honest. I just hope that his team do have a plan and maybe it isn't in motion yet. It could be that Luke's team knew he would be attending Rory's birthday party, so to wait it out just incase of backlash from that.

I don't think his team is stupid (and I know some people disagree), but they have been in the game for a long time. His team would know photo's would be shared on his friends social media accounts and I think it would be worse to have Luke make steps in a certain direction only to see a regression. I think that would have the potential to harm any plan that they may or may not have (while also making Luke's situation worse).

Luke's social media is interesting. I have said this before but I think that his decision to make it professional came a bit too late. He should have set it up that way long before the promo tour. But he probably wasn't completely sure until it was too late, and now it is clear he is having issues with his decision. He doesn't have jobs lined up other than Bridgerton season 4 (that we know of anyway) and his recent posts are subpar.

I also don't think Luke truly understood the potential for people to switch on his friend group (for the longest time people loved Rory, it's also been interesting to see that switch in the fans). He doesn't have the upper hand of his friends keeping his name out their, without it bringing drama and hate.

I am completely on Luke's side to want to distance himself from social media, but he's been put in a hard spot since his friends seem to be unwilling to not capitalize on him (even when they know it will not benefit Luke at this very moment). But I realize that they are also learning about the newfound fame of their friend, so it may just be a learning curve for them as well. (I do realize that their public persona's aren't doing them any favours and it's their actions that have made people come to this conclusion, but sometimes empathy is cool).

I do think that because of the backlash from Rory's birthday, Luke's team did contact him to make sure he is unseen in any of the photo's or video's. Or it's Luke's way of protecting his friends and asking them not to post any photo's or video's of him in them (does this make a difference at this point since they were caught by somebody else? Probably not).

I would assume that all of the Bridgerton cast mates think that the paparazzi walk on the night of the premier was unfortunate, and probably wish for it to have not happened. I agree with what you said - "At best, it seemed sloppy and horribly timed, and at worst it seemed attention pulling and like he couldn't wait to get off the Bridgerton train."

This was a very long winded response but I guess I had lots to say about this topic!

And as always, this is all speculation. I do not know any of these people personally. Could all of this be untrue, true or somewhere in between? Yes. So please keep that in mind.

[leikeliscomet]

“But We Love Martha Jones!” - The Doctor Who Fandom’s Selective Memory of Racism

Chapter 1 - Everybody Hates Martha

Contrary to now popular Whovian belief, no, the fandom didn’t like Martha at first. In fact, most Martha praise wouldn't come until years after her exit. The issue came from the “Rose shadow” of RTD1. Rose’s traumatic exit hit Ten like a truck and this echoed throughout The Runaway Bride. The episode beautifully covers the stages of grief; his denial as he forgets he can’t have another Christmas on the Powell Estate; his anger at the Racnoss; his bargaining as he reminisces good times with Rose; his depression knowing her can’t get her back and eventual acceptance - ending the episode with a solemn “her name was Rose”. On paper, this was the perfect closure Ten needed for Rose and a lovely way to say goodbye to her even in her absence. But her shadow still covered the rest of S3 and S4. And not in a good way.

From the jump Ten tells Martha she could never replace her but mind you, Martha never claimed she would, but the fandom acted like she did and was. Her presence is mentioned throughout S3: the “not that you’re replacing her” in Smith and Jones; the “Rose would know” in Shakespeare Code; Ten taking Martha to the New New York slums in Gridlock when Rose got “glitter and cocktails”; the ink drawing of Rose popping out of Ten’s subconscious through John Smith in Human Nature/Family of Blood to Jack and Ten’s convo about her in Utopia to even the Master in Last of the Time Lords, calling Martha useless for not absorbing the Time Vortex like a certain companion. Can you guess who she is? Martha to this day is the only companion to be treated as the rebound to a previous companion and this bled into the fandom. Despite Donna’s growth in Partners in Crime working so well because of her growth after The Runaway Bride, it was still a common sentiment to “wish we went straight from Rose to Donna”. The S4 writing didn’t help Martha’s case either. Ten tells Donna about the crush and other “complications” while conveniently leaving out the mixed signals he sent to her. Plus, he admits his mistakes to well… Donna, and not to Martha’s face despite sharing three whole episodes with her. Martha spent those episodes being a host to a Sontaran clone and being kidnapped by the Hath so the “I’m sorry for underestimating you and comparing you to my previous companion, Martha Jones” never came out of Ten’s mouth. The show’s insistence on Martha as the “failed Rose replacement” gave the fandom great excuses to attack her and welcome a mountain of bad faith criticism that haunts Martha Jones discussions to this day.

It doesn’t matter Martha saved the Doctor with CPR in her debut episode, used the Gamma Strike to defeat the pig men on the spot, saved John Smith, Joan and the rest of the village from the Family of Blood despite how racist they all were towards her, came up with the right word to banish the Carrionites on the spot, got the DNA sample needed from Lazarus and distracted him for Ten, got the 42 crew to dump the sun particles in the fuel, warned Ten about Yana’s watch and most importantly, stayed alive in one of humanity’s most hellish years to restore the Doctor and defeat the Master - she was incompetent.

It doesn’t matter Martha never attacked, belittled or actually insulted Rose but was rather tired of being put down for her instead, or the fact Rose within minutes of seeing Martha said “I was here first” and “Who is she?” with disgust - Martha was jealous and bitter.

It doesn’t matter Ten kissed her for a DNA sample despite her cheek, forehead and hand being available, knew about Martha’s crush and still acted oblivious post-Smith and Jones, hugged her then blamed her for said hug, lied to her about Gallifrey but told Rose the truth in her 2nd episode, called her a novice and literally screamed in her face in Utopia - Martha 100% to blame for the failed TenMartha friendship but not our unproblematic fave Ten.

It doesn’t matter Ten was willing to protect and travel with Donna in The Runaway Bride minutes after losing Rose and Eleven having no issue welcoming Clara after watching another version of her, Amy and Rory die in front of him - Martha had to be belittled by Ten because of grief. 

It doesn’t matter Rose and Donna, then Amy and Clara in the Moffat era would need supernatural intervention to gain their titles, or that Rose and Donna needed Ten’s help a few times in their series - Martha had no agency. 

It doesn’t matter Ten fell in love with Rose, Madame de Pompadour, Joan Redfern, Queen Elizabeth I, River Song, Astrid Peth AND Lady Christina, or RTD1’s insistence of (heterosexual) romance being the most human trait of humanity (which is a whole other conversation) - Martha’s romantic feelings were a flaw she needed to correct.

It doesn’t matter Rose, Amy and Clara would fall in love with the Doctor to the point of being willing to abandon their families for him, forcibly kissing him or trying to be him - Martha was the clingy one.  It doesn’t matter Professor Yana’s drumbeat began before he met the gang because it was Martha’s fault the Master came back too apparently. Remember little Tim Latimer stealing the fob because it was reaching out to him? The fans didn’t because Martha was blamed for losing the fob too! Martha’s not a flawless person but it can’t be denied Martha was critiqued for moments that were out of her control. From various nuanced plot points where she was a victim of circumstance to lacking hindsight she literally couldn't have had because she wasn’t in S1/S2, to being disliked for doing the exact same things her white female counterparts did, it’s highly unlikely the Martha Hate Train was born from constructive criticism.

<- Intro Chapter 2 ->

[lovelyo]

Why Eloise is My Favorite Character

First off, look at that beautiful face. Claudia is deadass pretty. But besides that, she’s the one that has visibly gone through the most character development and it was subtle as well. When I watched season 3 part 2 trailer(garbage like I predicted it’d be) watching Eloise and the maturity and concern she had for her brother, insisting Penelope to tell him, that she can’t lie to him and expect him to love her(which he’ll end up doing anyway but fuck Polin) and even given Penelope a chance to tell him. The mercy she showed Penelope despite what she’s done and the pain she caused her; the trailer made me finally come to the conclusion that she’s my favorite character.

I was iffy bout Eloise at the beginning of season 1. I know many were annoyed with her and said she was a pick me girl—I even thought, “booo, here we go, one of those annoying buffoon feminists who don’t know how good they have it.” She wasn’t annoying, but she sure was self-righteous about women’s roles in society and how they shouldn’t have to be subjected to the marriage mart and all the feminist bible thumping bs and saying this from her ivory tower.

But you know what she did? She walked down those tower steps, willingly left that ivory tower to go expand her views and learn outside of it, something that women in the ton wouldn’t do. She put herself at risk to broaden her horizon.

“You wish to follow your heart. I wish to nurture my mind.”

Eloise didn’t reject Theo’s criticism of her limited understanding and her privileged position. She took that to seek greater understanding beyond what she knows so I really don’t know how in the living shit people think she’s self-absorbed, especially after she starts interacting with Theo.

Eloise is brusque and may come off as abrasive, but she has integrity, is gracious, and is kind-hearted. She sought out LW for a selfless cause: to help Penelope and her family from ruin. She helped LW escape from the Queen.

The times Penelope has come with her crocodile tears, Eloise dropped everything to comfort her despite Pen insulting with her “pretty Bridgerton” comments(but she’s a bad friend, amirite?)

She didn’t see the lower class as beneath her but as people to learn from(but she’s blind to her privilege, right Penelope stan?)

She was one of the few who showed compassion and understanding for Marina's situation. Despite her being sheltered(that a lot of anti-Eloise fans get their rocks off in exaggerating), she knew that Marina was in a shit place and treated shamefully.

She knows there aren’t many women who share her views and thought processes, but that doesn’t stop her from having them and voicing them and hopes that women would also go against social conditioning.

“How else should I be? Married and silent?”

She kept Penelope’s secret for months. She didn’t try to destroy Penelope or get back at her. She just cut her off and moved on with her life. She took the high road in this situation, a thing that some adults don’t even do.

When she realized that her gossiping hurt Penelope, she sought her out, admitted fault, and apologized. That was incredibly brave and mature. She might be angry at Penelope, but she pushed back when Cressida was mean, even apologized to Pen on Cressida’s behalf.. She didn’t push Colin to be cruel to Penelope just because she had a fall out with her. Eloise is A LOT better than me because if I was in her shoes, Colin finding out bout Whistledown would be the least of Penelope’s problems.

Eloise is just a joy to see on screen, especially in S3 where she is literally the only voice of reason and her suffering with this LW business got me weeping(especially since we know Pen will suffer nothing from it). She better have a good conclusion by the end of the season. The show has failed in almost everything this season.

Don’t fail on Eloise.

[theerurishipper]

Hi~ Hope you have a lovely day. I want to get your opinions on my rant lol and ask.

Marinette is such a disappointment of a lead female character in a western magical girl cartoon. She isn't a good leader and all her team consist of yes men and women and sidekick Chat Noir where her real partner Alya is standing over to the side. I liked her in the first two season and maybe some in s3 but the s4 and onward just got to me ngl. It's her world and we're all just living in it. Miraculous is so weird when it comes to team dynamics because I get she's guardian but I really wished it were someone else and not her because she chooses people she already get along great with. It fun for team dynamics to add be different and broader.

The whole she's just 14 the fandom spouts only goes so far how many messes do you do until you realise you need to own up to them even at that age when you should know better on your conduct ?

I get it hard to communicate but onwards I always thought the bigger of the two in the conflict was her because of her secrecy and her controlling tendencies. I disliked it so much in the ephemeral episode and her betraying her partner disgusted me. Sorry to those who like or defend her character this much but I can't stan or like a character that does this much crap to a friend let alone a love interest and then gloss over or minimize it and not be called out for it. Like, are people standards that low they think she's a good leader or a good proper representation on feminism when this show reeks of misogyny and misandry. She's the ultimatum voice for Astruc.

A communication issue with her Chat was fine a long time ago but now in s5 she crossed it hell nah how do people still support a ship with her knowing she followed Hawkmoth command for Adrien. I literally can't anymore with this show. Every guy she likes gotta be so 100 percent in effort and like in the Shadybug special him always comforting her makes me so jaded whenever she cries what about a change in dynamics had we ever seen her comfort him in turn how are people invested in this ship? Like that time in the bench and she just thought of ways to woo or give presents instead of just comforting him is so sad to watch.

She really followed in Master Fu steps. The bar is in hell and she crossed it in the finale. There is no excuse no handwaving it away and i know in my heart they gonna minimize it for Adrien own good. Everything is for his own good huh? What good is it rooting for a ship that just reeks of pity points. Like, she was never my favorite but who knew 8 years ago she'd pull a stunt like this and people bending over and doing mental gymnastics to rationalise this insanity. She really is a good foil to Gabriel ironically to bad she has no sway in this family drama we call the Agreste.

I know she has good intentions and it's not wrong for her to wish to save her prince but like thats all that is intention. Her actions are also important and the effects she's done is so bad that if she weren't the Main character and we haven't spent the chunk of the majority in her pov alone she'd be disliked.

I feel like compared to other respective series Winx Club s1-3 Bloom, Danny Phantom, Ben 10, Totally Spies they have it much more harder and so many more all show the consequences of your actions and how you do them right and they're her age. I feel like whenever someone bring up consequences it's like people in this particular fandom think we do it to punish Marinette but no I just never ever saw it properly done in this show because she's very coddled in the narrative. I don't see other MC as coddled as her before in a show where when they MESS UP it's actually integral and important.

Rant over.

You encapsulated all my thoughts perfectly, anon. I've said so many times before that I loved Marinette from Season 1-3 and even during Season 4 as it aired. What made me fall out of love with her character post Season 4 was the utter lack of acknowledgement of her actions and the insistence in portraying her as in the right at all times. Like you said, it's not just your intentions that matter. Your actions and the effects that they have on the people around you also matter. The writers don't seem to understand this, and it hits Marinette's character worst of all. She had so much potential to be such a great character, which is why I feel so sad seeing just how badly the writing failed her. Marinette deserved better.

Thank you for your ask!

[k0koii-yu]

So…

I can’t believe it took me 3 years to be able to say it out loud but—

Old woman yuri.

(Or at least one-sided gay pining at the very most)

(Apologies for the lack of good screenshots, I just started replaying WE recently since my Angela brain rot is coming back)

———

Okayy so I want to confess: I initially wrote a fic about them because I wanted a wlw equivalent to Jars from S3 so then I thought about them— and thus came a slow burn fic (actually a 1k word one shot because it was part of a one shot book in Wattpad I had back then) I made of them in 2021 in an AU where Lars was the mole for the sake of making the ship sail. The one shot has been deleted, unfortunately, and as of now I might not have plans to rewrite it : (

Anyways I started shipping them seriously after I wrote that fic (I still like Angelars and Carchelle tho!) and the more I read into their interactions, the more I realized just how much untapped potential their relationship has (PS knew they would be too powerful so they had to make Angela the mole with little to no buildup until literally two cases before IPS/s). Also incoming ramble about them since barely anyone talks about them:

Their interactions, while few, are super wholesome and have a special place in my heart as someone who’s skimmed through the transcripts for either Angela’s appearances OR their interactions. No one talks about how Carmen, while usually hotheaded and quick to action, constantly praises Angela and is really patient with her enough. And as @celestiarambles has pointed out in their analysis of their relationship, Carmen has only gotten mad at Angela ONCE for a reason that wasn’t out of concern for her well-being and it was because she was flirting with Lars in front of her. (Could it be because she wasn’t being serious? Or could it be out of envy? We may never know, unfortunately…)

Likewise, I see so much potential to be explored when it comes to their interactions: Carmen teaching Angela photography after having very nicely for some reason (I bet 50 bucks that if it were Jack or Lars it’d be different) told her she sucked, them discussing parenting tips, and character studies of their relationships. Or if we were to enter fic territory, their pre-canon/post-canon dynamic is also an interesting idea to think about, or maybe an AU where they could end up together (Mole!Lars seems like the easiest way tho). Fic writers, I call upon thee to make this wish of mine come true/j

Their personalities also complement each other very well : D. While both show clear work ethic and seriousness in their work, they also complement each other. Carmen is tough, hotheaded and started off as distrustful at us in the beginning of WE, being focused on her work first and foremost, while Angela is much more calm, patient and initially warm and family-oriented. This also leads to some interesting parallels as they almost become each other’s core traits by the end of WE: Carmen having grown more motherly and caring after having Sanjay, whilst Angela grew distrustful and cynical, likely due to her pledged loyalty to SOMBRA, which lead her to follow their orders so devotedly that she was actually willing to blow us up.

The fact that the transition from the main plot of IPS to the AI has Carmen change facial expressions from holding a straight face to being sad/disappointed. It could’ve been Ripley, who was upset at the loss of one of their most competent members by the hands of the organization she swore to destroy. It could’ve been Jack, who was upset for Lars— his best friend, and they did have some nice interactions, too. But the fact that Carmen of all people was chosen for this, despite the fact that her relationship with Angela wasn’t either of their most important (Lars to Angela and Sanjay/Elliot to Carmen /platonically btw), did make for an interesting choice.

Also not related to canon but fun fact: my hc of Carmen nicknaming Angela “Angie” actually came from that one fic I wrote XD

And don’t get me started on the way they also fit into so many tropes at once:

Birds of a feather: Both of them are hardworking, serious and devoted to their work, but are shown to also care about the people around them, especially children and young people.

Red oni, Blue oni/Opposites Attract: Despite their similarities, Carmen is more hot-tempered and impatient, while Angela is known to be more calm and reserved.

Coworker yuri: do I even need to explain myself…

Brains and Brawn: Angela is shown to be really intelligent (you do not just forget a Nobel prize in biology) and it is also shown when she almost succeeded in deceiving us into thinking anyone but her was the mole. On the other hand, Carmen is more prone to action and violence (the fact that PS barely put out a moment in which she lets her badass personality shine and is almost always rescued by Jonah is a huge sin against humanity). Their jobs also reflect this in a way.

Pair the smart ones: Angela with her academic expertise in biology and Carmen with her field experience in journalism.

Battle couple: Most of the points I stated for Carmen earlier apply, along with the fact that we learn that Angela takes military training in the finale.

Dating Catwoman: Can somewhat apply post-canon, or after Angela has been outed.

Morality pet: To Carmen, since Angela is one of the few people she rarely ever gets mad at that wasn’t a child or teenager.

You (he) never did that for me: For Angela. An example was in Case 8 where she had went missing for hours and Lars was only like “hey guys my wife went missing” while Carmen actually went to go look for her.

Not so Different: Aside from their personalities, their character arcs also reflect this as discussed earlier. Carmen’s warm and motherly side gets to show itself later on with Angela still around, while the finale also shows Angela loyal to SOMBRA and being colder and meaner towards the Bureau, showing this sense of superiority(?) over their respective allegiances similar to Carmen in the early cases (and also throughout, to an extent) of the season.

Complementary colors: Red and green. Need I say more?

OKAY THIS WAS A LOT— it took me a whole hour to type this up but I wanted to get these two out of my head rq also as a means of unwinding from exam stress (will probably disappear into the shadows again after this). Please do correct me for any inaccuracies, though ^^