#I woke up 4 and a half hours ago but I only managed to get out of bed about 2 hours ago

[thethingything]

remember, with enough skill you too can knock over a packet of specialty seeds and lose a bunch on the floor, exacerbate an injury through multiple tasks going wrong in unforeseen ways leading you to overexert while trying to fix the issues, almost stab yourself with a pair of scissors by accident twice while trying to open a package, nearly pass out from pain, then realise you're shaking so hard you can barely get your pain meds out of the packet

[multifandomgirl08]

Be Something You'll Love and Understand [Mini Verstappen Series]

Dad!Max Verstappen x Daniel Ricciardo (Platonic)

Summary: He knew that he should have called his mom yesterday but he was still wrapping his head around the idea of being a father.

Warning(s): N/A

A/N: This is set the day after the Prologue.

Title taken from Simple Man originally by Lynyrd Skynyrd covered by Shinedown.

Words: 1.6k

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Max had never felt more sleep-deprived in his life. Even staying up for a 24-hour endurance race had never made him this tired.

Daniel had been at his apartment last night helping him with Nico. He helped Max order formula, clothing, and diapers. Most of it would be delivered today. Both he and Daniel had to look up instructions on how to make the formula out of powder and warm water, and then how to put the bottles together so that Nico could eat.

Right now he was running on less than 8 hours of sleep, and Daniel was sitting on his couch with Nico who was finally asleep after a diaper change and a bottle that he didn’t end up screwing the portion size up.

He pulled his phone out of the front pocket of his pants and dialed his mom. He knew that he should have called her yesterday but he was still wrapping his head around this whole thing.

He let the phone ring in his ear for a few seconds before he heard the dial tone come to an end. “Mum?” He asked.

“Max?” She questioned back. The sound of her voice made some of the tightness in his shoulders go away.

“I… I need your help.”

“What’s going on Max?” He could hear the unmistakable sound of concern in her voice. It was something that he was still growing used to at times after not having remembered much of the time that he got to spend with her when he was a child.

“You remember Amelia?” Max’s eyes fell over the open letter that laid face up on his coffee table. Her scribbled words ran through his head. You’re the best thing for him. He had taken to finally reading it when Nico had managed to fall asleep around 4 am.

“Yes,” She started to say.

“She, she was pregnant when we ended things. I didn’t know, she never told me.” He started with. He was trying his best not to break down into tears. “Mum, she left me the baby.”

Sophie said nothing to him for a few moments before he heard, “Oh Max.”

“I don’t know what to do. Daniel has been helping me since I found out yesterday.”

“Here’s what’s going to happen.” She calmly said. “I’m going to pack a bag, and then I’m going to take the first flight that I can to get over there.”

Max just nodded even though his mother couldn’t see. “Has the baby eaten?” She asked.

“He ate an hour ago, Daniel finally managed to get him to sleep.” Max could hear the distant sound of typing through the phone.

“That’s good. Let him sleep for as long as possible. You and Daniel can take turns with him, and nap in between until I get there.” 

“Mum?” He half asked.

“Yeah, Maxy?”

“Thank you, I love you.” She was dropping everything to fly to Monaco to help him with this. She didn’t have to do it. She could have just stayed home and tried to help him with this from a distance.

“I love you too, I should be there in a couple of hours. My flight should get in by 4, I’ll take a cab so you don’t have to pick me up. Okay?” Max tried to find the clock on the wall and saw he would only have to wait 5 hours until his mother would be here.

“Okay.”

After getting off the phone with Sophie, Max was able to get some sleep. It wasn’t much, he had been awake when Daniel had gone up to his apartment to grab a change of clothes, Max’s eyes started to feel heavy as he was lying on the couch. At some point he woke up, forcing his eyes open to see Nico still on his chest, and the clock read 4:29 pm.

He could hear the sound of keys banging against the front door to his apartment before the door opened fully.

“He’ll be happy to see you.” He heard from Daniel. “He’s out of his element with this.”

He couldn’t hear his mother’s response, but he did see her dark hair from where he was lying on the couch.

“He was still sleeping when I went to let you in.” Max could hear the wheels from what he could only assume was his mother’s suitcase.

“Max?” Sophie asked, looking out into the living room. He tried to move up the couch without moving Nico. As he tried to sit up, Nico let out a disgruntled whimper.

He met the eyes of his mother and could see the shock in her eyes. It was one thing for him to tell her that he had a child but another to see him with a baby swaddled into his chest.

“Hi Mum,” He did his best to move Nico into the crook of his arm. He didn’t want to wake him, but he did want to sit up on the couch.

Sophie made her way over to him leaving her bag by Daniel. She moved to sit next to him before peering into the bundle of blankets to see the little boy sleeping. She said nothing as she looked at Nico.

“Can I hold him?” She asked.

Max didn’t even have to think about moving Nico into her arms. He saw her lean back into the couch and then placed Nico into her arms. He could tell from the look on his mom’s face that she was a little shocked to be holding a baby that he had a part in creating.

In the background, Max heard Daniel mention something about putting Sophie’s bag in the guest room before leaving the two of them in the living room.

“How are you managing?” She asked. Max couldn’t help but slightly shake his head.

“Not well,” If his mother wasn’t holding Nico he would have put his head into her lap. He wanted to tell her what Jos had done, but he also didn’t want more bad blood between his parents. It was only in the last few years after he turned 18 that his parents had finally managed to co-exist with each other peacefully.

“What are you not telling me?” His mother knew him too well.

“Dad…” He tried to start saying, “He knew about Nico. He tried to pay Amelia off so I wouldn’t know about him.”

Sophie said nothing, she just kept rocking Nico in her arms for a few moments.

“Was it because of her… or was it about you racing?” Max knew that she didn’t really have to ask.

“You already know the answer.” He said flatly.

“Well, I’m sure to him he was doing what he thought was right by your career.” Max knew that his mother didn’t have to defend Jos or take his side on things. Was Max horrible for wanting her to tell him that Jos was out of line for making choices for him? Max was 22, he didn’t need his father going behind his back and making choices for him that he didn’t agree with.

“But what about what’s right for him?” Max gestured to Nico.

His mother gave him a soft smile, “Well, as his father. It’s up to you to figure out what you think that’ll be as he grows up.”

Max felt like he could start spilling all of the things that he didn’t want to do as a parent, every possible insecurity that he had, and the concerns about how all of this was going to work in the long run.

Max was grateful that Nico was in Sophie’s arms while the thoughts were running through his mind.

“How’s he doing, sleeping, eating?” Sophie gestured to her arms. Max started to talk about Nico’s odd sleep schedule. Every three hours almost on the clock he needed to either eat or sleep. 

Max talked about the formula mishap, he had given Nico only three ounces, then he was still crying because he was hungry. Max made more but Nico only drank a bit not finishing the rest of the bottle.

When Nico started to get fussy, Max moved to the kitchen assuming that he wanted to eat, but instead, Sophie stuck her nose right up to Nico’s diaper and declared he needed to be changed. Max pulled out the diaper bag that Nico came with, finding the last two diapers left. Sophie had asked for a soft towel since they would be changing Nico on the couch since Max didn’t have a changing table.

Sophie oversaw as Max changed Nico’s diaper, only suggesting to not strap him into it so tight, after all, it was a diaper, not a racing seat with five-point harness. Max got it right leaving a two finger space in the front before snapping the bottom of Nico’s onesie back in place.

“Have you figured out how you are going to manage your schedule and him?” Sophie had asked after Daniel had offered to order all of them dinner.

“Not yet, I thought a nanny for when I am not home but for now, I can take care of him until I have to leave for promo in February.”

“That’s smart,” Daniel said. “Gives you a few months with ‘em before the season.”

Sophie gave Daniel a soft smile.

“I’ll stay with you until you find someone you like.” Sophie was quick to offer.

“Mum, no.” He immediately protested. Victoria just had Luka and his mom should be back in Belgium helping her, not worrying about him.

“I know what you’re thinking, but Victoria has Tom. You need me right now, just until you find a nanny and figure out a schedule for my grandson.” Sophie looked over to the couch where Nico was lying between a few pillows. He was fast asleep for now having just finished a full bottle of formula at the correct portion size.

He wanted to protest again, stating that he could figure it out. Sophie gave him a soft but stern look that he read as, I’m not leaving, deal with it.

Mini Verstappen taglist: @karmabyfernando, @barcagirly, @sachaa-ff, @iamahallucinationnn, @musingsbyshreya, @glow-ish, @nonsensical-nonsence, @fanboyluvr, @champomiel, @gothicwidowsworld, @lighttsoutlewis, @itsalwaysgay, @minkyungseokie, @mynameisangeloflife, @ursforever129, @aundercover, @bborra, @mindless-rock, @cixrosie, @barcelonaloverf1life, @taylorslovesswifties13, @konsti081, @mellowarcadefun, @smnthnclj, @brekkers-whore, @lpab, @thedecalcomania-blog, @xoscar03, @em-gvf01, @haikyuen

[rubykgrant]

(this is part of some very early Grimmons character-study/interaction stuff I wrote a while ago, about how they wind up sleeping together a lot... literally sleeping! it's still amusing to me, so I'm sharing it again~)

The first time they slept together had been because they were both wiped-out after running training drills all day; they flopped down in the barracks, intending to head to the showers, but were too tired to get back up again. They landed on a cot… it wasn’t either of their cots, just some cot, nobody tried to move them, and they fell asleep next to each other, still in their armor. They woke up about 4 hours later, now irritated because they felt gross (no shower), and hungry (no lunch). They didn’t even acknowledge the fact that they had been half-way all over each other, they just got up, muttering and complaining, with Grif stumbling off to find food and Simmons finally going to get clean.

Between then and being sent to Blood Gulch, there was maybe 5 or 6 more times when Grif nodded off sitting next to Simmons while they were supposed to be waiting for orders, or riding in a transport. Simmons would try to shove the other guy off, but Grif always fell back onto him (sometimes nearly crushing him).

Once, Simmons had stayed up late re-reading some handbook about how to not get shot, and fell asleep sitting at a desk. Grif had been nearby, pretending to read a different handbook but REALLY sneaking some chocolate snacks he smuggled in. Simmons wound up leaning over, until he was pressed against Grif. When Grif realized the dude was passed-out, he kind of just shrugged (thinking that Simmons was basically a human-shield to block the view of his snack), and went back to the chocolate.

The next time they slept together was at Red Base, when Grif had fallen asleep in Simmons’ bed and refused to move. Simmons did everything but literally kick him off the mattress (though such a thin little mat of fabric could BARELY be called that). Once again, they were wiped-out from running around all day… Sarge was merciless, and Blood Gulch was hot as hell. Simmons’ bed just happened to be closer to the door than Grif’s, and Grif wasn’t going to take another step.

Simmons sat down on the side of his bed next to the wall and tried to roll Grif away… and even that was too much trouble. He’d only managed to make enough space for himself, so he gave up, pulled the only pillow out from under Grif’s head, and scrunched as far away from the bed-stealing a-hole as possible, until Simmons was pressed up to the wall. At least this time, they had both managed to shower first. Later, when they woke up (and discovered that they once again wound up half-way all over each other), Simmons had chewed him out for being so inconsiderate and annoying. Grif simply flipped Simmons off (he was far less concerned about sharing sleeping space, having grown up with a little sister who was always right THERE).

A few more times where they were supposed to be keeping a look-out, and Grif would start napping. A few more times where Simmons stayed up too late and then just passed out. Whoever fell asleep first, the other one was always nearby, and somebody would lean against somebody else.

/////

The first time they slept together on Iris had actually been after staying there for a few weeks. One evening, they had been sitting together on the couch, talking about movies. Stuff they liked, stuff they hated. Mostly they agreed, and occasionally they argued. Nobody was getting really mad though; this was fun. They talked all night, leaving movies behind, finding other topics that amused them both, leaning closer and closer together, and discovering that it didn’t feel uncomfortable to be like this.

They drifted off like that, and slept better than they had in a long time. The next day, Simmons woke up first and didn’t even try to move Grif… he didn’t have anywhere to be, and besides; he was worried it might turn into something awkward again if he called attention to it. Simmons just wanted them both to be at ease with each other again. When Grif finally started to stir, he blinked and sat up, asking Simmons if there was any coffee yet.

Relieved, Simmons went to start making some, and they drank their cups together, ate some breakfast together, and talked about stupid stuff again together. It was finally normal again, and it was what they both wanted (and even if they wanted MORE… they were too worried to try and talk about it, or even think about it). They fell asleep like that several more times.

Then something happened, Simmons left, and Grif stayed.

Neither of them got much sleep for a while… they felt angry, lonely, guilty, and sad. Simmons tried to keep himself awake as long as possible, hoping he’d exhaust himself and then just pass out (this had happened before, many times). It didn’t work, he just wound up being painfully AWAKE for nearly 45 hours straight, so he took some sleeping pills to knock himself out. He finally slept, but still didn’t feel rested.

Grif slept in little bursts, nothing but short naps that barely gave him what he needed. They were full of stress-dreams than made him wake up with a panic, a bundle of anxiety, and he would rush around trying to find something to do. He now had the whole place to himself, and he wandered into other people’s rooms… he didn’t take anything, or snoop, he was just… missing them. Several times, he would up sleeping in Simmons’ bed, and this was the only time he managed to get any rest for an extended period of time. He always made the bed after he woke up, because… if Simmons was here, he’d hate seeing the covers all messed-up.

Then Grif and Locus went to find Grif’s friends, and even though lots of bad things were happening, it was good to be part of a group with them again. Simmons felt like he had been dealing with a long, painful headache, and now that Grif was back, it finally passed. Grif expected Simmons to have an axe to grind over the whole situation, but for once Simmons just didn’t bother. To himself, Simmons thinks about how things just didn’t work without Grif. He doesn’t want to push Grif away, even if he has sore feelings. He just wants them both to be together.

Other stuff happened, nonsensical stuff, stuff that made no sense and nearly killed them and destroyed all of reality… but eventually it was over (or had never happened? Time travel was weird like that). Grif was there, Simmons was there, they could have a chance to just be around each other again. It was what they both wanted.

The next time they slept together, they were on a ship, going to visit Wash to make sure he was alright. Grif was embarrassed over how clingy and jittery he had gotten during his time being alone, and Simmons had immediately recognized this behavior (it was almost like looking in a mirror… how often had he talked way too much, just to fill the silence of other people ignoring him? How often had he been overly eager, trying to please somebody, just for a little positive attention?).

When he notices that Grif looks sleepy but is refusing to try and rest, he realizes this is because Grif simply doesn’t want to be alone. Without a second thought, Simmons pulls him aside so they can sit together, and mentions as casually as possible-

“I think I’m gonna try and take a nap…”

He wasn’t usually the one who initiated this kind of thing, but Grif needed to know; it was OK. They were both right here, and they were both tired, and this was alright. Grif leaned against him, and they wind up… just barely, but not quite, kinda-sorta holding hands… that is, Simmons has his arms on his lap, the organic one palm-up, and Grif is letting his own arms dangle down as well, so really; their hands are just touching. A little bit.

They return to Chorus again. This is for Wash, to be with him while he recovers, but also because nobody wants to split-up yet (even Donut, who was the one that suggested they needed time apart).

They fall asleep together on the couch, they fall asleep together when a visit to somebody’s room turns into what Caboose calls a slumber-party. Even if other people are there, Grif and Simmons wind up close together, half-way all over each other. It has always been like this… and it probably would keep being like this, forever.

Neither of them thought that this was what their lives would be. When they first met, they didn't think they would eventually become so close. Grif drove Simmons crazy, and Simmons annoyed the heck out of Grif. However, after all these years... it was just out of the question to imagine being apart. For better or worse, they've come to accept that they actually want to be with each other, always together

[telephaaty]

Exiled: What is she?

✧Chapter 4✧

(Photos retrieved from Pinterest. Credit to whom it may belong. Edit made by me.)

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Genres: Fantasy, Supernatural, Werewolf! AU, angst, hurt, fluff

Series rating: Mature

Summary: I have spent half my life in exile. I woke up in the middle of the forest with no memories. I don't know who I am, how I ended up like this, I don't know if someone is looking for me or even if I have a family. The only thing I know for sure is that I must hide and that when the full moon is at its highest, disaster begins.

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Author's note: Hello everyone! How are you? I'm sorry I've been missing for so long. Last year was a difficult year. Adult life is complicated 🥴

Here I leave the promised chapter, we are still in the introduction of the story so you can probably find it boring but it will improve as the chapters go by (I hope so🤭).

I don't remember if I already mentioned it but all the data that appears in the story as potions or scientific data are not exact, many are inventions and others I tried to investigate to make the story more reliable, but as I mention in this chapter if you are not involved on the subject, it is very difficult to understand.

I hope you enjoy it!

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"I told you! I told you! I told you!” Joohyuk kept repeating to me over and over again as he paced back and forth. "Or didn't I tell her?" he looked at Jisung, who was coming down from the first floor with a bag.

Joohyuk's house wasn't fancy, but it was comfortable and homey. It was a two-story cabin, with two bedrooms, a dining room and a kitchen, it also had a garage where he kept tools and supplies. The cabin was located near the lake and had a small bridge that took you to it. I loved spending time at Joohyuk's house, especially on rainy days like today, where I could sit on the porch with a cup of coffee and watch the rain fall. But, now I'm looking at it from the inside, sitting bored on the couch, listening to the scolding of the half-vampire. I had arrived an hour ago, totally soaked, although we had already agreed that we would meet here, I should have taken the most direct route and arrived much earlier, but let's say that Mr Mafia sent his lackeys to follow me, so I had to deviate and mislead them.

"Yes hyung," the omega rolled his eyes. "We already understood that you told her, calm down."

“Calm down?!! You must be kidding, Jisung!! It goes straight to his death,” Hyuk said pointing at me.

“The other option was a direct kill,” I told him, looking at him tiredly, “at least this will give me a little more time to plan an escape plan. Anyway, you didn't want me to get a pack for Jisung? … There it is, the best pack that an omega can be in, a real luxury,” I said ironically, moving my hands exaggeratedly to make my point.

"Yes, but I didn't ask you to crawl after him."

"Oh! Yeah! Thanks for getting rid of me,” Jisung said despondently looking at us sideways.

“No one is getting rid of you on their own, little guy,” Hyunk proceeded to sit in the single sofa next to the fireplace. “If you continue to live in the cave with Girl…” Jisung intended to interrupt him, but Joohyuk stopped him and continued. "Or, if you live here with us, you will die", the sad omega looked down at his feet. “As I very well explained to you, wolves are destined to live in packs, they become crazy and wild if they are alone, which leads them to be eliminated or die of sadness and anguish. You are lucky to find someone like your noona, he even managed to be with you in that pack.”

“When you go into annoying mode,” I told him as I threw the towel off his head, “you're unbearable. Well," now looking at Jisung, "we must agree on our stories so as not to make mistakes if they come to interrogate us, we don't have much time and we must hurry if we don't want them to come to find us."

“That is not important now. What are you going to do with your…with your medicine?” Hyuk made a quotation mark with his hands when mentioning the said medicine.

“I will not have this discussion again. I already told you that I don't need it, it won't be a problem.”

“Don't be stubborn, you know you will weaken. It's dangerous, too."

I sighed. I was tired of always arguing for the same thing, he was not going to understand and I was not going to agree. It was preferable not to answer him and settle the story with Jisung. I needed to prepare him and reassure him so they wouldn't suspect anything, my life now depended on how convincing Jisung was to the royal pack.

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It was already night and the rain had stopped a while ago, but we had to leave the cabin even when it was raining, we took the long way to dispel any trace of Joohyuk's scent. We didn't have many belongings, a medium bag where we had our clothes, many of which we shared, and my backpack where I had a couple of books, my notebook, my mortar and my herbs. While we were walking, we were reviewing what we should say. Obviously, we agreed to hide that we knew Joohyuk and that the things we had, we got from the surrounding villages.

I knew that the one at a disadvantage in this situation was me. Jisung was a weak omega who would instinctively be protected by this pack, instead, I was a strange orphan girl who, apparently, due to the attitude of suspicion and resentment they showed me, was considered a threat. I looked at Jisung who was walking a few steps behind, he was tired and shivering from the cold, if we didn't hurry up, he would get sick. I took Jisung's bag to ease his tiredness so he could walk faster.

We were reaching the border of the pack, I could slightly hear some murmurs, they were already waiting for us. Instinctively, I touched my pants pocket where I had the box that Joohyuk gave me before we left and which I had to keep hidden. It was very likely that they would go through our things, so he had told me that I should keep it with me until I found a safe place to hide it.

As we came into view, the wolves that were waiting for us turned and urged us to hurry up as we were already late. The one who seems to be the leader of the wolf guard warned us that from now on we should use the main entrance and stay away from the borders and that if we wanted to go out into the city or the forest it must be in the company of an alpha. I had to bite my tongue to avoid getting a curse word out about his last comment, I looked at Jisung who was doing everything possible not to appear nervous and was listening carefully to what the alpha was saying. He would adapt easily, I on the other hand was sure that things were going to go south at any moment.

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Here we are, in the office of the alpha of the pack. There were a lot of people here, some I didn't know. I looked at Jisung who was with his head down trying not to look anyone in the eye, I could feel his nervousness and I could also feel the calming pheromones that the alphas in the room were producing to reassure my friend.

“Your name is Jisung, right?” Prince Namjoon asked, and Jisung nodded without looking up. “Taehyung told us something about you, but I would like to hear it from you, what pack did you belong to and how did you get into this situation?” he concluded the alpha looking at me.

“Umm…well, I'm…I was from the Dawn Pack. I was banished for mating with someone I shouldn't and he disgraced me by breaking the mating mark. My family despised me, and the only thing I remember was arriving at one of the human villages near the pack and I fainted, I woke up a few days later and Girl was by my side, she took care of me and let me stay with her,” he concluded holding my hand looking for support.

Prince Namjoon looked at our joined hands and then looked at me raising an eyebrow, then he turned his gaze to Jisung and smiled saying, “Don't worry, you'll be safe here. We'll give you a new identity if you want or can keep your name, but you'll officially belong to the royal pack. And you,” he looked at me seriously, “you will also have a temporary identity until you find out who you really are or until the alpha king decides what to do with you. Well, I'll make the formal introductions. They are the two oldest princes in the family; Crown Prince Seokjin and Prince Yoongi," he said pointing to where they were standing to his left, "alpha prince Hoseok and well, you know prince Taehyung," they were to his right, "and he's our omega Prince Jungkook," he concluded pointing to one of the people who were a few steps behind us.

With Jisung we turned around to see who it was. The guy standing behind us gave us a brief nod, he was the same guy I had crossed earlier. Now, he was dressed in white shorts and a beige long-sleeved shirt, our eyes met again, but he quickly diverted it. Now that he knew he was omega he could make out a trace of a sweet scent, however, the smell of the alphas prevented me from identifying his scent.

“And then we have Mrs Park, the housekeeper, and Miss Choi, one of the employees who work inside the castle,” the prince continued. Both women curtsied to us and smiled at us. “So, tomorrow you will have an appointment with the royal doctor for a general check-up and we will talk about your studies. After they settle in and shower, Prince SeokJin, who has studied medicine, will briefly check on them and ask them a few questions. Mrs Park shows them their rooms, please.”

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Mrs Park gave us a brief tour of the ground floor of the mansion, showing us the living room, dining room, kitchen, laundry room, and places where we could not enter without permission such as her majesty's office, the laboratory and the basement. Then, she led us to a large white marble staircase with gold details that branched off into two other large stairs. It was located in the centre of a room with a different entrance than the one we had entered. In the centre of the wall that divided the stairs, there was a carved shield of the head of a black wolf about to bite surrounded, on one side, by a crescent, where there were some rare symbols and, on the other hand, some golden figures similar to elongated diamonds that apparently formed the rays of the sun. In turn, he was surrounded by a strange and perfect braid.

"Good. That door you see over there,” I point to the door across from us and diagonally towards the stairs, “is the front door for pack members and guests. It is through that door that you technically have to enter. The entrance through which they passed is only for royalty, even they avoid using these stairs so as not to bother the omegas. Through that large sliding window that you see there,” we both follow the gesture that she made towards the place, “you go out into the garden that is connected to the training ground.”

“By the way, omegas are not allowed to be in the training place. It's for security,” adds Miss Choi, who was accompanying us on the tour.

“What do you mean 'not to bother the omegas'?” I asked Mrs Park as we walked up the stairs.

“As I said, it's a place that members of the pack frequent. The staircase on the right leads to the castle annexe where many of the members live, including underage omegas who lost their families or those who came seeking refuge or protection from other packs. There are also alphas and betas that belong to the royal guard, but many of them use the entrance connected to the training ground. They avoid making the omegas nervous, they don't want them to feel uncomfortable and insecure."

“So, is in the annexe where we'll stay?” Jisung speaks for the first time since he started the tour.

"No. You will stay in the main wing,” she said as we went up the stairs of the left, “on the first floor together with the youngest princes who are not here at the moment. On the second floor of this wing, are the rooms of Prince Namjoon, Hoseok and Jungkook. Also on that floor is the library that is shared with the annexe. On the third floor are the kings' rooms, those of princes Seokjin, Yoongi and Taehyung. I recommend that you don't go peeping around, Prince Yoongi is too territorial.

While she was explaining everything, she was trying to memorize all the way we are walking to our rooms. There were many corridors and doors, not just the rooms she had mentioned earlier. We arrived at a gloomy corridor, there was no light and a strange energy was felt an indescribable sadness; we share an uneasy look with Jisung. Mrs Park flipped the switch on the wall to her right and excused herself by saying that it wasn't a very busy place. She asked Miss Choi to show Jisung his room while she led me down the hallway. We stopped in front of a double white door, it had gold details as I saw on other doors, with the difference that this one had a letter 'M' in a very beautiful and elegant calligraphy made with some type of shiny stone. When she opened the doors, I was amazed, the room was decorated in white, beige and pink tones, in the middle of it there was a large double bed tucked into a slight arch-shaped opening that was illuminated. On both sides of the bed, there were two long shelves, there was a hanging round ceiling lamp that simulated a flower crown, on one side there was a window with two medium-sized armchairs on the sides with a round table; in front was a mirror with a shelf and chair and next to the door was an empty desk.

“This is where you will sleep,” Mrs Park said as she opened the large window, “this is the balcony and over there”, she pointed towards a corridor with two doors, “is the bathroom and the wardrobe.”

I followed her to both doors, she stopped at the door that was on the side of the hall and opened it. It was the closet. Well, calling it a closet was a way of saying it, it looked more like another connected room. It was a two-story room in the shape of a completely white semicircle, it had an old pink carpet that covered the entire floor, and there were many shelves and mirrors in between. It also had a central table that contained many drawers and doors, the upper part was transparent and you could see how it was divided into sections.

"This is a bit much, don't you think?" I said as I walked around the room.

“I would say it's a standard wardrobe. You have to see the ones with Princes Taehyung and Seokjin, those are a bit exaggerated.”

"Even this shelf here is too much for my few clothes."

“Believe me, it will be full in no time,” Mrs Park said in a whisper. "Speaking of clothes, I need you to give me your clothes to wash them."

"It's clean," I said a little indignant.

"Don't get me wrong, please. The princes requested it because they are sensitive to odours outside the pack. You come from the forest,” I was about to refute how stupid that sounded, but she beat me to it, “I know what you are thinking 'it doesn't make sense', but it's hard to explain. Although they are wolves and technically surrounded by forest, she will later realize that each pack has a particular scent. This is why they detect so quickly if someone who is not from the pack enters the territory. All your clothes, although I don't doubt that it's clean, still have a strange smell, so I need to wash them with special products.”

I kept thinking about the words I use to explain, was she trying to get me to give myself away?

“I don't know how I'll find out later if I don't have the developed super sense of smell that werewolves have, but well if it's really necessary. Jisung has the clothes in the bag he has with him. A lot of the clothes, we share.”

“And what about that backpack?” she said, pointing to my back.

“There are only personal things like notebooks and books, no clothes,” I said as I left the wardrobe.

“Okay, then I'll ask Jisung. I suppose you know how to use the bathroom, don't you?", she question pointing towards the last door that was at the end of the small corridor.

"Of course. How wild do I think I am?"

“I just wanted to make sure, I wasn't trying to offend you. When you finish taking a bath, you will find clothes on the bed. I'll tell one of the employees to bring you a change of clothes,” she concluded going to the door of the room.

"If it's not too much to ask, I'd prefer it not be pink at all," I said as she gave the room another disgusted look, "I already have enough pink to burn my eyes."

Mrs Choi laughed at my comment, nodded her head and left, closing the door. I gave a sigh of resignation, took the box that Joohyuk had given me from my pocket and I headed towards the bathroom. I had to find a safe place to hide it.

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Was it so hard to have a normal shower? I almost drowned in there. The bathroom was another room, there was even a jacuzzi in it. When I came out of the bathroom wrapped in a robe and drying my hair, I saw a pile of clothes on the end of the bed. The clothes were neutral and cold colours, mainly black and gray, it had a light scent of vanilla that was comforting. I grab a long-sleeved black t-shirt and matching cargo pants.

After changing and finding a temporary hiding place for my backpack, I headed downstairs to look for Jisung, since I didn't feel his presence. On the way, I met Miss Choi, who was surprised to see my outfit. She wondered me why I was wearing those clothes and I told her that someone had left them on the bed, that Mrs Park asked for a new outfit for me. She explained to me that these were not the clothes that she ordered her to give me, she had even just found the clothes and was about to take it to me. She told me to go see Prince Seokjin who was waiting for me in the lab and after that I change my clothes immediately.

When I got to the entrance hall, I stayed for a while thinking in which direction the laboratory was until I heard someone approach.

"Jungkookie, have you seen my-" I think it was Prince Hoseok who was approaching looking at his cell phone and when he looked up he looked at me confused. "What are you doing with those clothes?" he asked with a frown.

"Um... someone left it on the bed", I said while I was looking at the clothes, what was wrong with it?

"Just change it if you don't want Namjoon to be in a bad mood," he determined, paying attention to his phone again.

"No," before my denial he raised his head suddenly, he was about to lash out, but I interrupted him. “I like it, it's comfortable and the smell of it is comforting, so I won't change it. If you'll excuse me, Prince Seokjin is waiting for me."

I left, leaving him stunned by my answer. I hated that they wanted to boss me around, much less without arguments. It's going to be hard living with alphas, they weren't used to humans or omegas rebelling against them and I wasn't used to them demanding authority over me.

After a few minutes, he had finally found the laboratory. I opened the big metal doors and the first thing I saw was Jisung putting on his shirt and getting off the stretcher. He barely saw me, he smiled at me and spoke to me through the link.

-Noona, don't worry just he i-

-Has he seen the mark?

"Oh! You're here," Prince Seokjin said as he finished arranging some jars on the table, “Take a seat on the stretcher, I'm done with Jisung”.

-No, I covered it with the makeup that Joohyuk gave me, I nodded and walked towards the stretcher. Remember to hide your eyes, he'll check them, Jisung concluded. We cut the mental link and he walked out the door.

I sat where the prince told me, he turned around observing for the first time the clothes I was wearing. He looked at it for a few more seconds and looked at me seriously, then he gave a forced smile and told me to raise the sleeve of my shirt. He tied an elastic band to my arm and prepared a syringe, when I saw what he was trying to do I jumped and pulled my arm back.

"Wh-what are you going to do?" I asked.

He laughed softly. "Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you. I just need a blood sample,” seeing my look of suspicion, he continued. “It's for the pack's database. So if something happens, we can act quickly. It won't hurt, it'll just be a prick."

After analyzing it a bit, I held out my arm. He drew the blood sample and began filling the tubes with it. He continued to listen to my heart and my lungs, he measured and weighed me, checked my eyes with a small flashlight and asked me to follow the light. Luckily, I put on the special contact lenses that Joohyuk had given me, I no longer had the strength to hide them myself.

The prince began to make me medical questions, which had the answers the same, 'I don't know'. He gave me a pitying look and told me that we were done, he asked me to go eat something and then go to sleep because tomorrow was going to be a long day.

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Seokjin' POV.

It was already quite late in the early morning and I didn't know if what I was seeing was correct or if I was too tired to see clearly. I had never seen anything like it and the fact that it was now in our pack I didn't know if I should be relieved to find something like this before others or worry if it was a threat.

The door opened startling me, I didn't realize Namjoon was getting closer.

“Here I am,” he said, stopping near the desk where he was analyzing the results. "What do you have?"

"I called you an hour ago, where were you?"

"I'm sorry, hyung. I was wit-”

“It doesn't matter anymore. Look, I found something weird,” I transferred what I was seeing on the computer screen to the large TV on the wall. "That you see there is Marian's DNA and it-"

"Marian? Are you so comfortable already with her to you call her that?” he questioned crossing her arms.

"Please, not now. focus. Now, as I was saying, this is the girl's DNA, it's super weird, I've never seen anything like it. The gene is different from an average human, even from a werewolf,” I added two more images: one of human DNA and Jisung's then got up and walked over to the TV to give Namjoon a good explanation of what he was seeing. “This second image is of a human and the third of Jisung, an omega werewolf. The difference between the two is that in the first, the nuclear genome is smaller than the mitochondrial genes present in werewolves. Furthermore, werewolves do not have the same nucleotide base pairs as humans. But if we look closely at Marian's and zoom in a little more we can see that instead of being a double helix DNA, it is a triple helix. The nucleotide bases are the same as humans but it has others that I cannot identify at this time. This will definitely go into my thesis.”

When I looked at Namjoon he was looking at the screen thoughtfully. He is very intelligent but this could be too much for someone who is not dedicated to this. I was about to explain it again in other words, when he decided to speak.

"So you're telling me that she's not human, but you can't tell what kind of being she is either?"

“Exactly,” at least he got the point.

"Can you find out that is she?"

“Yes, but it will take me a while. I cannot promise a specific time, there are many new things that I have never seen."

"We must keep her in our custody in the meantime."

"Do you think we are doing the right thing to let her stay in the pack?" I was the crown prince, I should know well what is good for my people, but since it is something we had no information about, it is not something to be taken lightly. I needed more opinions.

Namjoon knew my internal conflicts very well and understood them. This was our agreement, to consult the decisions of the pack together, we would both be the leaders in the future and if we disagree it would bring problems.

"Don't worry, hyung. I will take care of moulding her and if she becomes a threat, I will eliminate her with my own hands.”

©2023 Telephaaty. All rights reserved

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If you want to be part of the tag list, let me know😊

I hope you have started the year well and I know it is late but I wish you much success this year.

Feel free to comment or ask me anything 😊 See you soon!👋

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🌕 Taglist 🌕

@zae007live

@mayla548

[ashecampos]

RADIO SILENCE

wandaxreader (relationship) yelenaxreader + natxreader (siblings)

reader uses they/them pronouns

Warnings - angst angst and a sprinkle of angst

another silly little one shot no one asked for. For this one I took inspiration from that one episode of b99 where Rosa is on duty at an active shooting. Pre warning I did write this at 4am, my body was running on nicotine and coffee so please forgive me if this is bad <3

🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

Wanda’s pov - 9am - Avengers Tower

🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

I stare at the clock as it slowly but surely moves, both arms moving but never seeming to meet each other, I look back to the time it displays, a tired yawn escapes my body. The meeting has only been going on for 20 minutes. Thing is I wouldn’t have been this tired if Y/N wasn’t put on early morning patrol duty. It’s normally the younger avengers who get forced to patrol the streets of NewYork on the mornings as all they have to do is stop a few robbers or help some old grandmother across the busy streets and even if there happened to be an avengers level threat they had their radio to call for backup. It was supposed to be Peter on duty today. But the little pesky bug boy decided he would much rather see to his aunt and her boyfriends anniversary plans than do what he is being payed for. The rest of the young avengers are at school, on Y/N’s request of course.

“Hey Sabrina you listening?” Tony interrupts my train of thought, I look up and see him and a few other staring at me “yeah sorry” I say with a gentle smile as they carry on their meeting.

Where was I? Oh yes my partner. My stupid adorable partner. They being the trouper that they are told Peter that they would happily take his shift on patrol, in which meaning them waking up at 4:30am, also meaning they woke me up as they being the clumsy person they are tripped over their own suit in their tired state, making suck a racket. Anyway that lead me to where we are now. Tired. Groggy and in a meeting. Thanks y/n.

After another half an hour of listening to absolutely everything. Sorry nothing of what Tony just rambled on about, Fury came rushing in with Maria. They looked broken. “Rogers, radio stat” Fury demanded as he pointed at the star spangled man. Steve being the perfect solider he is, he turned on and placed his radio on the desk for everyone to hear.

the small box crackles and squeals before a voice comes on “BREAKING NEWS!. I’m NewYork a shooting has occurred, all we know as yet is that the shooter is active and still on the scene. The shooting started at around 8am and is taking place at the american museum of natural history. The shooter is said to be armed with space tech. Anyone near the museum must evacuate and stay as far away as possible.” the radio then crackles and goes silent again. “and where is this museum?” Clint asks “upper west side” Bruce says without missing a beat. Looking around the room to see what the game plan is I see Nat’s face go sickeningly pale. “upper west side?” She asks, her voice cracking a little. I look at my future sister in law and it hits me. Yelena and Y/N. They both took their duty on upper west side an hour ago due to some reports of a commotion in some boring museum.

Fiddling with one of the radios, Clint manages to get connected to a police hotline, we can now hear if there is any updates on what shield agents are in the building. “Okay now agents of the shield facility I need anyone who is still standing to read their badge numbers” an officer says with a hint of boredom in his voice. Nat comes over to sit closer to me, everyone’s attention now glued to the tiny radio on the table. This meeting not being so boring anymore. “Agent104” some man says “agent233” another woman says, the list goes on for a few minutes until we hear a Russian accent, me and Nat lean forward in our chairs praying for either yelena or y/n or even just one of the twins. To everyone’s relief it was yelenas voice coming through “agents 443 and 444” she said. A big sigh is released as the twins are alive. But for how long? “We will be asking for hourly updates agents. If anyone is to come into contact with the shooter, do not touch the gun” the officer on the other end says with a hint of urgency.

Nat stands up first “we need to go help them” she pleas. “Negative, we stay here as ordered” Fury says as he leaves the room. Shaking her head Nat goes to the doorway and gets agitated “no Nick, both of my siblings are in there. You don’t tell me to follow orders” she snaps a little “Actually Romanoff, we need to stay here in case of an emergency, the avengers tower is open to the public who are in need of medical assistance.” Fury counteracts with his statement, he does have a point, however my partner and their sister are in that building. “we are to stay in this room and hope for the best. Understood?” He says his final warning before leaving the room.

Four long suffocating hours go by, none of us had left the meeting room. The radio went off every hour, agents would call their badge number into their radio, every hour there would be less and less calling their number. Meaning more and more casualties had occurred. Yelena and y/n hadn’t missed one calling yet. The team where getting bored by now, me and Nat pacing the room, everyone had enough. “That’s it. Both of you go to Y/N’s room and find something to keep yourself busy with. Now and stay there” Thor said, loudly and firmly, not taking no for an answer, me and Nat left the meeting room, making a quick entrance to Y/N’s room, their pink guitar laid on the bed from the previous night where they had sang to me, looking around nat sighed, she started to move stuff and clean.

An hour later there was a knock on the door, it opened as it was motion censored, Yelena stood in the doorway, swear covering her small face, Nat ran over to greet her younger sister, she engulfed her in a bone crushing hug. But where was the identical face that matched Yelena’s? “Lena oh my god never leave me again please” Nat says before looking back up, breaking the hug and going to move yelena aside to get to her other sibling, upon doing this she realised the worst. Y/n wasnt stood there with their arms open ready to be squeezed to death by their older sister. “Lena..where are they?” Nat asked urgently, praying that her sibling was just at med bay for another stupid reason as they always where. Yelena shrugged, her head lowered, eyes watery. “I-i don’t know Tasha, they told me to run ahead and that they would distract the bad guys and be right with me but when I got here they weren’t there” yelena sobbed, her words barely translatable. Nat guides us all to the bed, there was not one dry eye in the room as we all sobbed mourning the perfectly stupid person we all loved. To keep our minds off of whatever or wherever y/n had been, Nat told us to help her replace Y/N’s guitar strings as they hadn’t gotten around to doing it themselves.

An hour later, I give up “this is fucking useless Nat none of us know how to do this, we are just fucking it up the more we try.” I snap “the love of my life is out there in that stupid fucking museum and I don’t even know if they are dead or alive, I can’t feel them, I love them so much” I sob

“Jesus I mean I love you too but the crying..dramatic as fuck cara mia” I hear a voice behind me say, the voice is raspy and low. I look at Nat and yelena, they look shocked, I spin around and run to tackle the person. My person. “Oh my god Y/N”

[smonk-wonk]

Hello! I need medication for life to prevent my lungs from collapsing, this implies permanent treatment with steroids, oxygen therapy, control of oxygen in the blood and antibiotics to prevent the development of bacteria in the lungs.

I'm afraid I have to insist on this because it may be the only way to get my treatment.

I need medication for life to keep my lungs from collapsing, this costs around $700 per month.

Things are really tough on me,I can’t afford. Please donate🖤

Bro shut the fuck up you're the 5th or 6th person in the last like 3-4 weeks in my inbox trying to exploit people's actual illnesses and life threatening medical issues and weaponizing people's empathy to scam them. I'm sick of y'all. You do this shit in so many other inboxes too on your very new account with very little activity on it like the other accounts just like yours. What fucking medication even prevents collapsed lungs? Maybe someone can give you money to make up for your botched Claire's lobotomy.

Do I look like I have money you fucking scoundrel? You parasite, you homunculus, absolute disgrace to society. Buffoon, half cooked crunchy in the middle spaghetti noodle. You've made over $400 being a cunt making a mockery of disabled people. More than likely you aren't disabled. I'd do a lot for 400 smackeroonies right now, but lying to people and going into stranger's inboxes that have no idea who I am is not one of those things.

Y'know, one day over 7 years ago I woke up not knowing it was the last time I'd feel well rested. I got sick and I only got worse. Before that my body was pretty sick and always has been but that was really when it went to shit and I had to give up on my life. There was shit I wanted to do, places I wanted to go, someone I wanted to be. There have been times that if not for my specialist that would've been the end for me because I couldn't live the way I was being forced to. As someone allergic to NSAIDs, I've had doctors subject me to 6+ hours of some of the most excruciating pain of my life because god forbid I might be an addict trying to manipulate doctors into getting my fix. In reality an addict would probably be having withdrawals and desperate in that situation and not deserve to be treated like shit but I digress. I have eepy forever syndrome on top of many others. Medical trauma spanning for as long as I can remember. And my whole life even in present day people mistake me for someone like you, who takes advantage of other's resources and is probably perfectly fine.

Enjoy your restful sleep (because somehow you still manage to sleep at night despite being a cunt), your ability to eat without having to take an anti nausea medication or an edible or smoke weed, not having to be perpetually high to manage symptoms, not passing out on the bathroom floor because your legs were exposed to too much hot water and the blood has pooled there and isn't properly circulating, not actually needing to rely on others financially to survive because your independence and agency were ripped from you before you truly got to experience it. And while you're at it, eat a bag of dicks

[slowroadtosantiago]

Day 31 - Santa Catalina to Foncebadon

Today was just over 10 miles without backpacks.

It ended up as just me and Jane in the dorm last night, very unusual but we weren’t complaining. We woke at 7 and were on the road by half past. The morning light on the street and our albergue was lovely.

It was cold walking. The temperature has fallen and we’re climbing higher. At one point a week or so ago I was thinking of getting rid of my sleeping bag as I was too hot at night but now I’m glad I didn’t.

We could see on the map that there was a village about 4K away which indicated that it had cafes or albergues so we thought we’d have breakfast there. As we approached we could see tepees where pilgrims could stay. Unfortunately when we got there nothing was open! Calamity! How would Jane manage without her coffee?

There was nothing for it but to carry on, which we did until we found a picnic spot and dredged up the last of the slightly stale small pain au chocolats we had left over from the Airbnb and downed them with water.

The landscape has changed completely, we can see the mountains in the near distance and our path is flanked by some amazing colours and smells. We have lavender bushes, white broom, yellow gorse and lots of different coloured heathers, and even a few bluebells. The pine forest scent has been wonderful. As always we’ve been followed by the noise of cuckoos.

As we walked towards Rabanal we came across a long fence into which people had woven wooden crosses.

Finally reaching Rabanal after 7 miles we had an extended coffee stop with tostada. In fact we had two coffees just to make up for earlier disappointment.

In the compound of the place we stopped were donkeys and across the road a field of long-horned cows. Rabanal village itself was very pretty with one main street winding upwards. We stopped briefly to have a look inside the church with its ornate altar piece.

We then had 3-4 miles climbing steadily upwards. It was a lovely walk, mainly away from the roads. But the path was stony so Jane had to take extra care where she placed her feet.

We thought we had left the Cymru Am Byth vandals behind but it seems that their pen having run out they bought a can of spray paint and it looks even worse than their black pen did.

It wasn’t long before we reached Foncebadon, our stop for the night. The hostel is full this time, and modern inside. We did try to get two bottom bunks but weren’t allowed, so this time I’m on the top bunk. It’s a mixed room of 6 with a very swish en-suite. The only problem is that the walls are not very thick so you can hear everything and also the noise from other bathrooms. Oh well, earplugs will be in use tonight.

They did a set pilgrims’ menu so we had that for lunch. We both though the pudding was the best, it was like a deconstructed cheesecake.

It’s very windy outside so I had a shower, washed my smalls and got them and my towel on the line while Jane had a chill.

After a few hours a coffee and some delicious home made orange sponge cake was in order while we had a chat about tomorrow and what we would do when we finished in Santiago.

Tomorrow we’ll be climbing a little bit higher to the Cruz de Ferro, the cross at the highest point on the Camino. The next part down to Molinaseca will be a bit more tricky as it’s a steep scree path over 7 miles long and about 900m descent in total. We’ve both got walking poles to help us and if it gets too much for Jane then there’s a village halfway down that you can get a taxi from. However, in the past we’ve been given scare stories on previous parts of the Camino and they have all been absolutely fine. I keep telling Jane it’s like coming down Machen Mountain 3 times, we’ll be fine!

[steppingstonesuniverseguide]

One More Step Out of the Pit: Chapter 3/26

Summary: It had been Tommy and Tubbo for practically forever. They clawed their way out of hell together. They discovered their superpowers together. They started working for the Superhero Guild together before even coming of age. Tommy probably owed Tubbo his life ten times over. So, when the three supervillains he'd been assigned to bring in managed to take Tubbo hostage, well, there was really only one thing to do.

He knew, of course, he was signing himself up for torture and death by offering that trade, but that was okay.

It'd have to be okay.

AO3 Link (See AO3 for Warnings.)

(This story is finished and has been posted on AO3 for a while, but I'm posting it on Tumblr so it's somewhere else too (considering the day AO3 was down a bit ago). The author notes will all be kept as well. If you are following the blog and don't want to see these posts, block the tag #backlog.)

Author Note: There is some sword/knife violence in this one.

“Are these tomatoes?!” An excited scream was what woke Tommy up. It was not even two hours after he’d fallen asleep and part of him wanted to be pissed about being woken up when he was so exhausted. The other part of him smiled into his pillow.

“Cut them open,” Tommy called back.

He listened to the rustling coming from the kitchen area as Tubbo rushed to do as he said. “Seeds?” Tubbo asked after a moment, his voice quieter and closer now like what he was saying was a secret. It was a secret. Tommy peeled his face off of the pillow to look up at the boy in their bedroom doorway. “Where on Earth did you find these?”

“I stumbled on a hidden community garden on the way back from work last night,” Tommy explained.

He watched the war on Tubbo’s face as he bit his lip. His hands were covered in tomato juice from where he’d picked a few seeds out of the vegetable. He was cradling them between his palms now. “These are very illegal to have,” he said. Yet, despite his half-hearted protest, the seeds had already started to sprout in his hands. As Tommy watched, a baby stem curled up his finger, a pair of leaves opening and sitting at the tip of his thumb.

“You should find some dirt for them,” Tommy suggested softly.

“Right,” Tubbo agreed. “Dirt, water… and sun somehow in a place no one can see. Or maybe a grow light in the bathroom? I’ll figure something out.”

Tommy nodded, struggling to keep his eyes open. Tubbo seemed to notice. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to wake you up. I was just excited.”

“I know Tubs,” Tommy yawned.

“You got back kinda late last night, huh?”

“Had a run in with the SBI,” he said.

“Are you hurt?” Tubbo asked, concerned.

Tommy shook his head. “They didn’t even manage to get a finger on me,” he assured proudly, but then deflated a bit. “But, uh, Dream wasn’t too happy that I didn’t arrest them. I got whatever they were trying to steal, but that wasn’t enough for him. So… no paycheck.”

Tubbo frowned. “What were you supposed to do?” he asked. “1v3 the SBI of all people?”

“Apparently.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Life’s not fair,” Tommy reminded.

“I hate that you fight them,” Tubbo said, quietly. “The Blade killed 4 level 6 heroes with a flashlight and a set of car keys two years ago and that’s with him being taken unaware and alone.”

He’d also held a sword to Tommy’s neck once. It had been just them alone in an alleyway. He’d lowered it a moment later and slipped away into darkness without a word. Tubbo didn’t know that though.

“Eh, Philza’s scarier and Whippoorwill’s more creatively bloodthirsty.”

“They shouldn’t send you after any of them.”

“They know I’m a big man!” He paused at the look on Tubbo’s face. “I’ll be fine,” he promised.

“I just worry…”

“Don’t,” Tommy said. “I’m wily. Like the coyote… wait, no. I’m the Road Runner! The Road Runner wins those things, right? Never gets caught, right?” He’d never really had an opportunity to watch cartoons. He’d just absorbed knowledge from other people talking about them. “That’s me! Meep meep motherfucker.”

Tubbo cracked a half smile. “Well,” he said. “No paycheck, but we do have veggies and veggies that will regrow if we’re careful to hide them. Well, the tomatoes are fruit, but still.”

“Not a fruit,” Tommy enlightened him.

“I… they are?”

“No,” Tommy said solemnly. “I reject that reality.”

Tubbo stared at him for a moment and then shook his head. “Go back to sleep Tommy. I’ve got to get ready for work anyway. I’ll make you something for breakfast and leave it in the fridge.”

“Mmm, thanks.”

“See you at work,” Tubbo said, closing the door behind him. He and Tubbo’s work schedules just barely overlapped. He worked 4am-2pm and Tommy worked Noon-10pm with one day off a week. They’d somehow managed to scam having the same days off this month thanks to Puffy, which was nice. Otherwise, they’d barely see each other except when they were both asleep.

…

Thinking of sleep...

Tommy woke to the sound of an alarm on his phone at 8am. He barely resisted the urge to throw it out the window. The only thing that stopped him was that it was expensive company property, and he did not need to have that added to his bills.

Groaning, he pulled himself out of bed and into the small bathroom to take a shower. He hadn’t gotten the opportunity to wash the gross off himself last night. He winced in sympathy for Tubbo as his bedmate.

A few minutes later, he was padding into the kitchen. He glanced in the fridge to see a Tupperware container labeled ‘Breakfast’ in Tubbo’s horrible handwriting. Popping open the lid revealed scrambled eggs with tomatoes mixed in, and after making some toast, Tommy sat down on the recliner to eat. (It’s fine. It was already stained to hell when the dragged it up here from the trash, so it wouldn’t matter if he spilled.) There was a sticky note on the arm that didn’t have a bite taken out of it. ‘Buy melk and bread today, pls.-Tub’ it read.

Tommy grabbed the discarded pen next to it and wrote ‘No.-Tom’ with a smile on his face. It looked like he was going to the store before his shift today. He glanced at the time on his phone. Ugh. He should probably get moving if he wanted to get to the shop and back before needing to leave for his shift.

Reluctantly, he put his dishes in the sink and went to the bedroom to change. He pulled Tubbo’s green hoodie over his t-shirt for warmth since it wasn’t like the boy was using it right now, and it was the warmest piece of civilian clothing they had. He counted out how much money he had in his wallet, winced, and dug his hand into their ‘saving’s account’ (and old pickle jar).

Figuring he had enough cash on him, he left the apartment. His and Tubbo’s apartment was on the 2nd floor of the building. It was the lowest priced housing they could find within walking distance of the Hero Guild’s HQ. They’d had the option of living at the much nicer apartments the Hero Guild provided, but they’d quickly learned those came with a cost much steeper than the one they paid for their dirty little two room apartment. They’d bolted as soon as they’d realized the apartments came pre-outfitted with cameras. They weren’t dumb.

They were lucky, really, that they were able to afford this place even with its lack of an elevator and staircase so rickety that Tommy was worried he’d need to use his powers to survive them one of these days.

It wasn’t that the Hero Guild didn’t pay well, it was that it didn’t pay people like Tubbo and Tommy well. Your salary wasn’t based on what you did or who you fought. It was calculated based on two things: years of experience and rank. He and Tubbo each had a bit more than one year of experience. Tubbo had rank 1. Tommy had rank 1.5 even though he’d regularly been doing rank 5, maybe even rank 6 work lately, but people under 18 weren’t allowed anything above rank 1.5.

Then, on top of that, they were both hit with what was referred to as the “teenager tax.” Minors weren’t really allowed to work for the Superhero Guild, at least not on their own. They needed an adult sponsor (which was actually kind of the opposite of a sponsor because part of Tommy and Tubbo’s paycheck was siphoned off to them in payment for being mentors.)

Still, it was better than how Tommy and Tubbo had been surviving on the streets ever since Tubbo was tossed out of his house. They were, at the end of the day, able to pool their resources to pay rent and eat every month no matter how much of a stretch it ended up being sometimes.

Plus, they wouldn’t be 16 forever. With Dream as his sponsor, three years of experience, and the work he’d already been doing for the Guild, he was positioned perfectly to climb the ranks quickly when he shucked the shackles of childhood. He’d be making the biiig money then. Tubbo would probably struggle a bit more since his power was not really a combative one, but Tommy was sure he’d also get promoted eventually.

Who knew, if Tommy managed to be good enough and to kept Dream’s favor, maybe Tubbo could even quit and get a gardener’s license or something. That would be nice. He’d definitely be happier then. Tubbo with a garden of his own. Now that’d be a sight to see.

The thought put a smile on his face as he entered the small grocery store a couple of minutes later. The woman manning the till gave him a suspicious look as he entered, probably because he was an obviously poor teenager with no parents to be seen. Tommy half wished he was allowed to flaunt his superhero identity so people would stop glowering at him like he was going to steal shit whenever he went anywhere. Of course, if he did that, then people like Whippoorwill with his desire to slowly peel Tommy’s flesh off his bones to make into soup (Yes, it did sound gross. Yes, Whippoorwill really had said that. And just because Tommy sprayed mace into his mouth one time! Dude was mental.) would be able to track him down at home. That would put Tubbo at risk.

As it was, he had to bear the lady’s unpleasant expression as he scanned the aisles.

“Can I help you?” she asked in a nasty voice after he stood there for a few seconds too long apparently.

Tommy rolled his eyes and pulled the wad of cash out of his pocket to show to her. “Buying bread.”

“Aisle 2,” she said, still sounding like a fucking asshole, but not quite like she was going to push the panic button behind the counter to summon a hero to arrest him.

Ignoring the eyes that remained on him, he wandered over to peer at the expiration dates on the bread. He was trying to decide which option was better: bread that was a bit more expensive but would last longer or bread that was cheaper and expired in a few days when he heard the sound of metal scrapping on metal.

Tommy’s head jerked up to see some guy with a giant sword at the front counter. Now, Tommy could immediately tell he didn’t quite know what he was doing with a sword, and it was much too big for his lack of muscles, but still, anyone could be dangerous with a giant sharp thing in their hands.

Ugh. Come on. He wasn’t on duty. He didn’t even have his costume for crying out loud.

“Man, do you really have to right now?” Tommy asked him as he rounded the corner, irritated. It probably… wasn’t the wisest thing to say, but it did get his attention away from the nasty lady by the register that he was holding at sword point. Tommy grimaced when he realized she was too far away from the panic button to hit it.

“You have a problem, kid?” the sword wielder asked.

“Yeah,” Tommy said, taking a nonchalant step closer. The guy let him, seeming not to register him as a threat in the slightest in the too tight green sweater with a daisy on it and ripped jeans. “Last night really fucking sucked for me. You couldn’t have done this, I don’t know, in 20 minutes?”

“Believe it or not I’m not on your schedule,” he said with a curled lip. The sword had dropped just a bit, too heavy for him especially when his attention was split. “Now shut up, kid.”

He took his eyes off of Tommy for a moment to return to his crimeing and Tommy jerked forward, grabbing his wrist and twisting. The sword clattered to the floor and the nasty checkout lady took her chance to dive for the panic button.

The man stared at him in shock for a moment as Tommy kicked away the sword, but he quickly recovered, fury on his face. He lunged forward suddenly taking Tommy unaware as he’d been focused on making sure the sword was far enough away. Unfortunately, that hadn’t been the only sharp thing on him. Tommy gasped even as he punched the guy in the face sending him sprawling.

A moment later, a superhero Tommy vaguely recognized, the Boomerang or something, crashed though the door and surveyed the scene. The nasty lady pointed at the man Tommy had just punched and who was getting to his feet with a bloodied knife. Boomerang was on him in a second.

Tommy slowly looked down at his bleeding side, feeling a bit dizzy.

“A-are you okay kid?” the woman at the register asked. She suddenly seemed to be trying to be a whole lot nicer to Tommy.

Tommy breathed slowly, strangely calm. Why, oh why, did he have to get stabbed off duty? He didn’t have the money to deal with this sort of crap. At least it didn’t seem too bad… Tommy thought. “Does the store have medical supplies, perchance?” he asked as Boomerang stopped beating the sword man’s face in and started to put him in handcuffs.

“Shouldn’t you… go to the hospital?” she asked.

“Nah, he’s as bad with a knife as he was with the sword,” Tommy said. “‘Tis just a flesh wound.” Probably. He hoped.

She looked at him for a long moment. “I…” she said and honestly the concern pinching at her brow was just annoying. Tommy almost liked her better when she was being a bitch. “Yeah, we should have some stuff. Let me… Let me go look for you.”

Tommy nodded at her. “Okay,” he said. “I’m gonna…” He slowly sunk down onto his knees. “I think I’m going to sit here for a minute ‘till the shock wears off.”

Author Note: He's fine. It's just a light stabbing. As long as he doesn't do anything strenuous or get shoved around at all, he should be a-okay.

[antibioware]

how would you rate the lotr + hobbit movies, from 1 to 5 stars?

TIME TO REWRITE THESE RATINGS AS I REWATCH (in January 2024) THESE BECAUSE LAST YEAR MY ANSWERS SUCKED.

Lord of the Rings:

The Fellowship of the Ring - 4 stars. I think this movie has a marvelous introduction to Middle Earth and its lore without ever resulting tedious, I absolutely adore the way they worked around Arwen characters to make her more involved in the plot and more interesting overall. While I don't agree with all narrative choices and tiny lore imperfections bother more than they should (WHY DOES GIMLI CALL MORIA "MORIA" FOR ONCE IT'S AN ELVISH NAME) this movie is insane. Boromir's death makes me cry ugly to this day. Only real flaw it has is that because the FotR book is really slow and at times a little boring, the movie feels also slow at times.

The Two Towers - 4,5 stars. THE BATTLE OF HELM'S DEEP. THE ATTACK ON ISENGARD. This movie is packed with good interactions faithful to the text, wonderful action scenes, and most important of all, Eowyn is there. It's probably the closest all the movies get to the books. I love the portrayal of the Rohirrim. Not a full 5 stars again for the Gimli slander, I really can't stand the fact that this is the movie where he decided to make him a fully comic relief character. Also I love Legolas surfing a shield while he shoots enemies, 10/10.

The Return of the King - 4 stars. This movie is wonderful, makes me cry every time I rewatch it but by god the ENDING NEVER COMES. My girlfriend and I rewatched the whole extended trilogy a couple years ago and we both nodded off for a good half an hour during the very last bit of the movie, and when we woke back up, Aragorn was yet to be crowned. Not a full five stars because they cut out the scene where Eomer finds Eowyn on the battlefield and thinks her dead from the released version, despite it being the best, most heartwrenching scene in the movies. I do love the "what about side by side with a friend" scene but it doesn't fix the fact that Peter Jackson pretty much saw Legolas and Gimli's relationship in the books, spit on it and replaced it with Legolas and Aragorn instead. Personal gripes aside, this movie deserves all the recognition it got.

The Hobbit (sigh):

An Unexpected Journey - 2,5 stars. This is probably the best one of the trilogy, because it's the only one that mostly follows the book and has fun, light scenes, where the rest of the movies tend to get overserious for no reason. They butchered the HELL out of Dwarven lore and managed to avoid having to characterize any dwarf that wasn't Thorin despite having 12 others to work with, many of which are RELATED to Thorin. I hate Martin Freeman's ugly dog face so much still, but I can admit sometimes his Bilbo works, I just have a personal bias against it. I love Richard Armitage as Thorin and to me he's the shining jewel of the trilogy, BUT I hate his shorn beard and how young he looks. Thorin is OLD, he's an old king without a kingdom, he's bitter and he's proud, the characterization is decent enough but it really feels like they made him ""hot"" and closer looking to a human just because he's a character of relevance - same thing with Kili, by the way. Also I hate a movie about dwarves that treats the lot of them like comic reliefs.

The Desolation of Smaug - 1,5 stars. This movie is BORING. I literally can't stand to watch it fully because my eyes start watering from boredom. So many useless introductions to characters that don't matter at all, especially the Elves outside of Thranduil. If I love what FotR did with Arwen, I absolutely despise that they only female character they add to the movie is not only boring and uninteresting, she's also just some guy's love interest - AND TO MAKE A ELF/DWARF ROMANCE BORING TO ME IT REALLY MEANS YOU BOTCHED THE HELL OUT OF IT. The only scenes that I like in the movies are the ones with Smaug. Bilbo talking to him? Good stuff. The whole chase scene is insanely stupid but it's kinda genius? absolutely. Calling a dragon stupid and fat and splashing it with molten gold truly does solve problems. The rating could have been higher if I didn't hate the whole deal with Tauriel and Legolas so fucking much. Why is Legolas in this movie dear fucking god I love him but I genuinely think he makes it worse just in virtue of being there. Also THRAIN DOESN'T MENTION HIS DAUGHTER DIS IN HIS LAST WORDS FUCK THIS THIS MOVIE IS STUPID.

The Battle of the Five Armies - 2 stars. This movie sucks BUT I don't completely hate the portrayal of Dwarves in this one and Dàin Ironfoot's presence makes the whole movie shine. Last time I said this was my favourite and I was wrong, I just like Thorin, the movie is so stupid it's insane, it went so far away from The Hobbit but it doesn't stand well enough on its own. The whole deal with the Necromancer works so poorly compared to the insane zigzag of alternating POVs in The Two Towers, it feels shoehorned in there and it doesn't fit, it detracts from y know the BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES. I love Thorin's death scene so much but all the other ones felt so cheap in comparison. Also gonna be controversial but the gaybaiting was tasty, and imo no one would have liked the movies weren't it for the decision to give Bilbo and Thorin a could have been something relationship. It really feels like they added it to make tumblr give it some shipping attention. The scene of Thranduil telling Legolas to "go north and find the Dúnedain" is so funny GO NORTH WHERE. NORTH OF EREBOR? TO FIND ARAGORN WHO AT THE TIME WAS A FUCKING CHILD AND LIVING IN FUCKING RIVENDELL? FUCK YOU AND YOUR LEGOLAS/ARAGORN AGENDA PETER JACKSON.

I can't believe what I said last year I need to stop writing stuff when my "fandom brain" is online

[nathank77]

4/5/24

7:15 p.m Edited at 9:02 p.m

I got a lot to say and I'm going to write a post to or about Elise later.

I took the hydroxyzine 50 mg I finally passed out around 9 a.m... I decided to skip the bloodwork to get my 7 hours. I woke up at 2 and passed back out without drugs...

No more heart palpitations or panic attacks since...

I said, "Hey, how are you?" To Reilly today, she responded. Maybe she doesn't think I am a nerd or maybe she talked to people about it. Maybe they said she was being shallow... maybe she decided she could ask me to wear contacts... who knows.. it's hard to not think the yikes was inrelation to my full time glasses wearer status...

Anyways, I'll do my HSV2 test on Tuesday. I got to go back out in a minute to get my Xanax...

I finished grocery shopping. It was awful to try to be brief about it...

Let's start with stop and shop, I am ocd about checking the chickens. I open the bag and I compare and contrast them bc of my ocd.. I usually take about 5 off the shelf. Hide away in an aisle and do it. 3 weeks ago a manager approached me, he told me to stop doing that and that he had to throw away all of them once i took them off the shelf and put them back. Which I know is bullshit...I was so uncomfortable I said maybe I should go to another store or stop and shop and he was like yea you do that... I was so upset I called corporate. I complained and almost cried, telling them its my ocd and I explained the whole situation. They called me back and told me they are going to educate the manager on the topic of safe food as taking it off the shelf for 5 minutes does not infact make them have to throw them away as the internal temperature does not change enough in the 5 minutes the customer does that. That was a win but another situation in which I felt embarrassed for having my ocd. I always do, as I have weird behavior bc of it....

Anyways I've been having issues at Walmart and my water bottle purchases... I want the water bottles to be firm... when i used to just buy them off the shelf and not open the package and squeeze them, I would throw away half the package....

So I've started ripping open two packs, and swapping firm bottles with the ones that have air in them.. the package I switch with I don't damage and I swap the crunchy ones into it and I buy both packages that I damage...

There is this guy at this Walmart I go to who polices me. He always yells at me when I do it or watches me.. the last time, he yelled at me I brought it up to the manager in store and he was really nice about it and said as long as I buy the damaged ones he doesn't care. He said he would talk to the employee and he understood mental illness and to keep coming back to the store as it wouldn't be an issue anymore.

Today I went to buy water bottles. Regardless of if anyone says anything to me ever I always feel like a freak... and like people watch me bc it's weird behavior....

The asshole guy walked by me said nothing but within 2 minutes the digital manager came up to me and was like what are you doing, I got emotional and i explained how I talked to the manager last time and how I have ocd and I'm buying the damaged packs of water. I even pushed the cart toward her and said count them... cause I'm not stealing...

She left after saying i just wanted to make sure everything was okay and I went to the front of the store to talk to the manager... bc either the digital manger was watching the cameras.. or the asshole reported it and that made her come. Only 2 minutes after he walked by me...

The assistant manager was the only manager there, a different guy than the one I talked to last time and he was so rude. He walked away from me, he told me not to buy waters from them. Etc. Was like I don't care if you have a mental illnesses, switching the bottles is not okay even if you buy the damaged packages... he said it wasn't harassment despite this guy yelling at me multiple times and always watching me like a hawk...

So I called corporate almost in tears explaining I don't feel like I can shop at Walmart anymore bc I'm being harassed and that the assistant manager was rude to me, that that employee always watches. Etc. I have a reference number.

If I could be fucking normal I would be. I'm sorry that I'm a walking mental illness. I'm sorry that I can't have normal behaviors.. idk what will happen, I explained the guy who harassed me walked by and maybe he had nothing to do with it bc maybe the digital manager was watching me from above.. but that nonetheless I feel like I can't go grocery shopping bc I'm mentally ill. That I feel uncomfortable, that I have anxiety everytime I go there for waters etc.

I'm so sick of being a walking mental illness.

[tiger85]

Storytime with Xavier

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH THE CHINESE PEOPLE AGAINST THE CCP!

You both like Bi.

You: hi

Stranger: M21

You: m 37

You: How are you?

Stranger: Nice what's your darkest sexual secret

You: It wasn't full on sex, but growing up my younger sister & I did some sexual things together

Stranger: How much younger is she

You: 2 years

Stranger: That's hot me and my younger brother of 2 years have had sex since I was 10 and he was 8

You: Very hot

Stranger: My dick was just big enough for penetration

Stranger: What's your darkest sexual desire / fantasy / kink

You: I wish I had a brother to do stuff with. How often do you fuck him now?

Stranger: Basically anytime we stay the night in the same place and we can

You: Quite often then?

Stranger: Not right now but used to every weekend like a year ago

You: Well I kind of fantasize about actually fucking my sis

Stranger: That's hot

You: Why not right now?

Stranger: Live too far away

You: You moved or he did?

Stranger: Both

You: That sucks. You have someone else you fuck since he's too far away now?

Stranger: My fiance

You: Oh, I bet she doesn't know you & your bro have fucked

Stranger: Absolutely not lol

You: Probably nobody really does other than who you tell on here

Stranger: Yeah pretty much me and him didn't even talk about it until like 2 weeks ago for the first time

You: How did you manage to hide it from your parents when growing up?

You: Oh really?

Stranger: See I would just go in there while he was sleeping and start sucking him off then he would wake up and then we would f***

Stranger: And when we had bu

Stranger: When we had bunk beds we did it every night

You: very nice

Stranger: But the reason we were able to hide it from our mom was that we only did it at like 3:00 a.m.

Stranger: One time I had him on his back in a recliner with his legs around my head and f***** him so hard I miss it so much

You: On school nights you'd wake up during the night just to fuck him?

Stranger: Yes it was so hot I miss it

You: I bet you do, it sounds so hot.

Stranger: It was

You: What was the riskiest time you two ever touched or did anything?

Stranger: One time I f***** him so hard he just came while I was f****** hi

You: Damn that is hot

Stranger: For one time like 2 years ago I was 19 he was 17 he was staying the night because at the time he didn't live the same house we did. Anyway we were in the living room and I had started sucking him he just woke up and pulled off his pants when my mom walked out her room so I ran down the hallway and just stood quietly in the dark while he stayed there sleeping she grab something out of the fridge went back in her room and then we f***** and then I ran back in my room

You: Oh fuck, so close to getting caught, must have turned you on even more

Stranger: It did.

Stranger: I got another one for you

You: He must have covered up with a blanket so mom wouldn't see his cock

Stranger: He did

You: Whats the other story, this is turning me on so much

Stranger: Well one time. Back like 4 years ago I was 17 he was 15. He was staying the night and I convinced him to sleep in my room and he slept on the floor. Next to the door. Well I was sitting there eating his ass and my sister walked in My youngest sister she was probably like 10. And she was like what are you doing. And I just said that he had peed his pants and I was helping him take off his pants she believed us

You: Then when she left?

You: You fucked him, right

Stranger: Well he went to the bathroom and then put his pants in the washer like he actually had peed himself then he came back into my room and 3 hours later at like 4:00 a.m. I made sure everybody was asleep and then woke him up and f***** him again

You: Do you always fuck him raw? Or use a condom?

Stranger: Always raw

You: Cum in his ass or somewhere else?

Stranger: Always in his ass

You: You liked sucking his cock, does he have a big one?

Stranger: Yeah mine's about 9 his is like probably seven and a half but very girthy but he's a total bottom

You: He's never been inside your ass then?

Stranger: I tried one time but he didn't want to

Stranger: He's complete bottom he just likes getting f***** in the ass

You: Has he at least ate out your ass?

Stranger: Oh yeah he likes to do that he likes me to put my feet in the air so he can suck my cock and balls and eat my ass

You: Very hot.

Stranger: But both of those stories were times that we didn't even know it was risky I do have a story one time that we did it knowing it was risky

You: oh please do share, I'd love to keep in contact somewhere to hear more too if possible

Stranger: Ok

You: Did you send something besides "Ok"? I've seen it say you were typing and then stop a couple of times & then start again

Stranger: So this was probably when I was 15 he was 13 My cock was probably 7 in long. Anyway, we were watching Avatar The last Airbender in our room. It was in the middle of the day and we had family over. But I got really horny so I locked the door unfortunately made him suck my cock. This was the one and only time that we did it during the day and he was fully awake. Anyway I f***** the s*** out of him came in him and then sucked him until he came and unlocked the door and act like nothing happenede

Stranger: Forcefully not unfortunately

You: Oh wow that is so hot, I wanted to say something besides hot, but not sure anything else fits lol

Stranger: Believe me I get it. Also to give some context

Stranger: I am a tall man's man closeted straight guy

You: He really didn't want to suck you off at that time of day knowing people were home

You: I like it

Stranger: He is also tall but he is super slender and kind of has the body of a woman and is completely out of the closet so it's like I'm f****** a thin boy and it is amazing

Stranger: Femboy not thin boy

You: Oh so he is gay?

Stranger: Well he just straight up is a femboy

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: Fem boys turn me on so much

You: Where can you keep in contact besides here?

You: Very nice

Stranger: Snap reddead1000

Stranger: Do you have any good stories like this I'd love to hear one

You: I mean my sis & I never had sex, but I do have some stories I can share.

Stranger: Plsss

You: mind if I copy & paste one I have posted on xhamster

Stranger: Sure

You: Xavier on snap then?

Stranger: Yeah

You: cool added

Stranger: Also my fantasy is to suck 5 16-year-old cocks while they piss and c** all over me

You: wow that'd be interesting

Stranger has disconnected.

[hazellight11]

Just had a horrible past one hour ✌️

I had work at 1pm so i woke up at 10, checked tumblr and other stuff on my phone for about an hour, and then around 11 i was about to get out of bed when i picked at a pimple on my face and it started bleeding more than i expected it could so i waited for my sister to be done in our shared bathroom so i could get ready and also like, check out just how much my forehead was bleeding bc my mirror in my room has shit lighting. But some combination of seeing the blood and not having eaten enough yesterday made me lightheaded/nauseous so i asked my sister to get me a glass of orange juice from downstairs when she was done on the toilet and she refused but fortunately my parents were home so my mom brought me some. So i drank a small glass of orange juice while laying on my bedroom floor (which i hate bc it's carpet and we have cats and i haven't vacuumed in a while). And then once i wasn't on the verge of passing out i realized i got my fucking period cramps. Which for me usually last like an hour or two and consist of overstimulation (audio, light, physical ouchy ofc, and temperature) that are worst when laying down but still bad when sitting up and especially rn because of the blood sugar thing. So just thinking about doing anything sucked and i was literally writhing because moving a little bit felt slightly better than staying still (i had taken some meds for it but it takes a bit for them to kick in). Anyway at 11:30 i ended up texting my boss that i wouldn't be able to make it in today because i'm not feeling well. Which i hated doing because i was literally scheduled for 3 hours today with just one other person (it's a sunday so it's bare minimum) which means she has to find someone else who can work today in the hour and a half before we open (i know i know "it's the manager's fault for not scheduling enough people" but i work at my local library and i've known her longer than i can literally remember and i do completely trust her bc she's literally a small town library director, not like a retail boss). And i already took Friday off with less than a week's notice to go to the movies. Actually on second thought i don't feel as bad now since i was scheduled for 6 days three weeks in a row (normally every weekday + every other sunday but someone is on vacation so i ended up with 3 sundays in a row) (usually i'm only working like 3 or 4 hours a day so it's not that bad and also it's a pretty easy job bc it's a student/summer job at a smaller library)

Anyway i'm feeling a lot better now (but i think taking it easy is a good idea since i haven't gotten out of bed since i started feeling better like 20 minutes ago and shelving books has always been a slight issue especially in the children's section where the shelves are low and it's a lot of bending over which can make me slightly lightheaded)

[the-broken-biologist]

October 29th

Yeah I’m never going to manage to do daily logs, am I?

Today feels like it was at least three days.

It starts out- or rather, technically yesterday ends- with me deciding to take a sleep aid super early so I can get some sleep before making a five hour solo drive.

It worked perfect. I fell asleep around 7 or so and woke up before midnight, absolutely unable to get more sleep even though none of my alarms had gone off yet. I had set alarms for midnight, 2 AM, and 4 AM, just to give me options. Ended up out the door by midnight.

I extracted myself from cuddling my girlfriend, grabbed my and Clover’s stuff, and packed us into the car I was borrowing.

Most of the trip was pretty unremarkable. Did have a minor incident where a car outpaced me and then five minutes later I saw them flipped in a ditch, but another car was stopped already and a cop car pulled over as I was approaching, so I just drove past.

Get to my friend’s place where I’m meant to be ‘staying the weekend’ at around 5 in the morning. We greeted each other- it had been a while- and then I go to the guest room, set up Clover’s kennel, and lay down to try to get some sleep. I don’t end up being able to sleep til after 7, and Clover insisted on waking me up at 9 for breakfast, but still a little more sleep to add on to my tally.

Took her out, fed her breakfast, chatted with my friend’s dad who was there to help him with some stuff, relaxed a bit, had breakfast, and then got ready for graduation.

I intended to get there a little early but between the drive itself and how long it takes to get unloaded by myself, ended up only getting inside with minutes to spare.

Grabbed the name tags for Clover and I and was shown to our ‘pod table’. Clover’s raisers were late, but when the main one got there, it was great! I got to hear about Clover’s shenanigans over the years, and see some adorable photos!

Then everybody was ushered into the main room to our assigned seats. They had a brief presentation about how many volunteers are involved in raising the dogs, had one give a speech, and then showed a presentation of all the graduating teams, their medical issues, and their tasks. Clover was good for the first half, but started getting fidgety after that and by the end was even quietly whining a little.

After that was reception. The donor who paid to name Clover came up to take a photo of us, and two of her other foster parents talked with me for a bit and gave me some puppy photos of her! And apparently the one is making a scrapbook she’s going to send me, along with a comical headband she made for Clover. I’m super excited- one of the few downsides of going through the program for Clover was the lack of puppy photos. I’m so excited to finally get them! I also snuck Clover outside for a break as soon as I could.

After that, one of the program staff came up to me and asked if she could introduce me to another graduating team. She said it was because he was also a long distance (from the program) team, but I got the vibe it was because we were both trans instead. It was still cool talking to him though- he’s had assistance dogs for about 15 years and has been out as trans for almost twice that.

I love meeting trans elders so much. I felt like I bless breaking new ground when I came out not that long ago, it’s so wonderful meeting the people who actually did.

After that, went back to my friend’s house. We introduced his cat to Clover, and it resulted in Clover backing away as the little cat walked menacingly towards her and occasionally hissed. Clover was bullied by a cat a fifth cold her weight at best, the poor baby.

I was missing my girlfriend so I told my friend I was considering heading back early. He asked if I wanted to go to dinner first, and I missed him so an excuse to spend more time (well, less than was planned, but more than if I left immediately) was a very welcome suggestion.

Clover behaved beautifully for dinner (we got sushi), despite how long of a day it had been. I spent some time texting the guy I had met at graduation. As we were getting up to leave, I got my favourite brand of unsolicited comment- surprise from the people who had been seated after us that there was a dog there the whole time.

Went back to my friend’s place, packed up my stuff, and hit the road. The first hour and a half or so went per normal. I was a little sleepy, but nibbled on a snack I had packed for that purpose to wake me up. I don’t know why eating wakes me up, but it does so reliably. It was even mostly a straight shot, other than stopping when the gas light came on to fill up. I had intended to fill up earlier, but got distracted.

And then. Then, all of a sudden, the hood flew up and crashed against the windshield. It took me half a second to process, but then I hunched down to peek through the gap and managed to pull over and put the hazards on.

I get out and try to close the hood only to find that it has been bent far too out of shape to close. I also called the car’s owner to fill them in and ask what to do. I only panicked and cried a little. They stayed on the phone with me until I could get to a gas station, to take a better look, and reminded me they had an emergency kit in their trunk.

The hood stayed down for the way-too-long trek to the gas station, but I didn’t trust it so I strapped it down as well, just grill to bumper. Just enough for a little added security. The car’s owner thinks the latch may have rusted through and broken, but I wonder if I somehow did something. No, I don’t know what. Yes, that may be my anxiety speaking. But I don’t know enough to know that I’m not responsible.

I drove the rest of the way back with no incidents, and dropped the car off at the mechanic. My girlfriend picked me up from there and I immediately hugged her and started shaking. I tore myself away to transfer my stuff (and Clover) from car to car, and then gratefully climbed in the passenger seat.

At that point I kinda shut down. If I let myself feel my emotions, I started breaking down; if I let myself think I started spiraling, and if I let myself feel the pain my body was in from almost 12 hours of driving and a full day of activities I might scream. My girlfriend noticed, tried to do small talk, and held my hand the whole way.

Finally get back to my place, ditch my stuff in the entry way, fix my bed up from the child stealing it while I was gone (mostly- my support bar is pulled out for some reason, but that can be fixed tomorrow) and snuggle into my girlfriend… and immediately start just about breaking down again. So I shut my brain up once more, except my heart is still well into the triple digits and the tears won’t stop even though the head is empty.

And now every time I try to sleep my brain starts spiralling again. So I’m trying to distract myself. So far all I’ve managed to do though is kill time. I even messaged my discord servers that I might be a little sporadic the next few days. And then promptly read every channel I had missed today. My girlfriend has to leave early tomorrow for prior plans. I just want to cuddle her. And my brain refuses to cooperate.

Honestly, I mostly came back to this log for today in hopes that writing it down will let me be able to sleep. Or at least cuddle without falling to the Bad Thoughts.

For the record, they seem to mostly be decided into two camps- one, the incident going far far worse than it did and two, how horrible I am for letting it happen/causing it. Somewhat how much punishment I deserve for the latter.

Fucked up on that aspect, my brain is. I may be wrong, but I think most people would be like ‘I did something bad and I’m not being punished? Lucky break, I’ll make sure to never do that thing again’ and my brain is just like ‘I’m not being punished? I’ll punish myself! Far worse than anyone else probably even would.’ Not sure if it’s a trauma thing or a kink thing, but it’s definitely weird.

Birds are singing outside. Shouldn’t they be south for the winter by now? But they’ve made me aware that it is five AM. I need to at least try and sleep again.

[theworld-accordingtocasey]

Mannnn tell me how I woke up and I’m STILL mad at them. Then they posted that cornball ass annoying 💚D–6💚 shit and I wanted to comment “😒” on it SO bad but I decided I’m in a cold shoulder mood more than I’m in a snarky mood, so they got no engagement whatsoever. I ain’t even click on the tweet and open the app, I could see it from the notification tab so I slid left and finished my breakfast. How about I took a nap and when I woke up 4 hours later to get my bunny his morning salad, I was STILL mad. Stirring my coffee. Thinking of how audacious it is to be wealthy in NYC talm bout some damn “I’m bored” boy if you catch the ferry to the island and go see Lady Liberty or some shit!? All the places they see in movies & he ain’t wanna go look at the shit irl or something?? And then Mr. “I missed Korean food as soon as the plane took off” nigga if you don’t walk over to Woori Jib! I ate there during a few of my trips to NY. If MY Floridian ass knows it exists, your manager should have been able to stumble across that information without trying. Yes you’re allowed to miss home but you just got off the plane!! Not too mad at Jeff cus he hardly talks to anyone or posts anyway. He is a man who for the most part is an Equal Opportunity Non-communicator. I’m salty at mark cus of his “finally” shit but at least while they were here he put some enthusiasm in his tweets and did so IN ENGLISH *first*, since ya know, he was supposed to be talking to US anglophones (glares at Ty and Doyoung). I heard there’s a TikTok going around of him saying how he’s happy to see all the diversity in the crowds or something to that effect. I’ll probably be un-mad at him first, unless there is an apology (which we know won’t happen) from Ty or anyone in the group. SM apparently only responds to boycotts, so i feel like justified in more ways than one for thinking that the next album’s songs can stay in Korea and in Korean charts & shows too, since they wanna gatekeep new performances for only precious kfans 🤡 Saw a post last night that stan twt cooking up a plan to make sure next release, probably a repackage, doesn’t come anywhere near the Billboard charts and ykw? GOOD.

[[MORE]]

Your treat for us was to perform the 2 songs you literally have just finished promoting in SK within 3 days of arriving to LA & that’s…it? & music from 2 releases ago or more which means most of the setlist was more than 2 years old. Yeah everyone wanted Sticker and Favorite but that was over a year ago lol. Collabs have happened since then & recent NEW solos. Not even a mini or EP but a whole ass album that we helped shoot sales through the roof, came out, like!!?

We let a wholeeeee lotta shit slide over the years but I’m seriously over it dude. SM half-assed this “tour” with poorly planned show appearances, badly organized fan event, sketchy staff…Wtf is this “new music only for Korea concert” shit?! SM fr needs to work on their marketing tactics cus this “Kfans first, kfans only” style plan, this “do whatever it takes to stay in not only the good graces of, but rather, the best graces of Korean fans (when ifans have carried them since mf 00:01 of Firetruck and we all know it. Also, we have long confirmed music sales aren’t the bulk of musicians income, it’s TOURING) who absolutely are gonna drop like a bug near a can of Raid when someone goes public with a relationship, is NOT the move.

It’s like they got too comfortable just like a guy does in a relationship. If we wanted to be ignored we can go stan a kpop group with NO foreigners & a company who can’t afford staff to ensure immediate subtitles and regular comebacks, etc. Or even someone from a midsize company who aspires to have a global audience whether they have foreigners in the group or not & is willing to put in more than the bare minimum. Like wtf is SM doing, why are they self-sabotaging when *globalalization* is supposed to be the point of 127 to begin with??

Idc what any group says, BTS’ fame is what they want. Why the hell wouldn’t it be? There’s no shame in admitting, there’s no shame in wanting to be a household name around the world lol. if you want to be at the top fr then you need to stay humble & respect all your fans, cus as someone who helped make it happen, I most certainly did not bust my ass and go that hard for them while feeling disrespected, like??Bighit (it’s past tense so I’m calling them BH) could’ve done better because there were times when they just let us do all the work without promoting the boys well but the boys themselves made it feel worth it because they were happy and thankful to be surpassing levels, that when they became trainees didn’t even register as doable. BH could’ve done better on merch for us too instead of only giving the good shit to JPN army, but that’s a separate issue & again, wasn’t BTS’ choice. Even with Namjoon’s minor goof (I think ppl who aren’t Black &/or debut stans know about it. & I sincerely think at the time that when it came out of his mouth he didn’t understand why it’s problematic…and also I mean. He wasn’t wrong…) and major goof (you know the one) and the WOH incident, he earned forgiveness because he seemed to work with sincerity. AHL definitely helped and to this day no one has done that extent of hiphop boot camp (yes, I am saying that Svt’s lil trip doesn’t compare, you interpreted that correctly).

Do I think there’s a magic formula to get a “““next BTS”””? Hell nah lol That there was a perfect storm (Bigbang had laid the framework, BAP fell off (a big fuck u to their record label btw. We don’t speak the name of that dirtbag but they were doing REALLY good intl especially over here), BlockB messing up w/ the SE fans + Zico fucking up (over… & over… again) + not playing their cards right at ALL, the consistency of their sound rather than it being a 1 era dress-up party, sns (on a shared account mind you! They didn’t have personals!) & talking to all of us not just kfans, AHL, making connections w/ Black artists & maintaining them, having a solid anglophone, helping make their own music frequently, doing their endorsements all or nothing without having 1 known member– I could go on. Point is, the exact formula isn’t possible but it’s not completely unobtainable to be in the ballpark. Neos could be in the ballpark even w/o compromising their 127-ess & sound if they worked at balancing their fandom ((+ not acting like Europe (and Africa, but idt kpop will hit that for a min)) doesn’t exist). The pandemic didn’t help them but they didn’t try to make up for not being able to travel to non-Korean fans.

Ffs kpop is becoming almost trendy instead of just a niche! And the top group is on an official hiatus! & no one has enlisted yet! There’s a void- STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT YOU FOOLS!! It’s not even just SM to blame, they have their own personal accts in various sites, they let the staff have the power by not pushing harder for using the English speakers they have more & obeying when they get told to only speak in Korean. What’s SM gonna do, yank them from the lineup?? If you have fans either as a group or akgaes & they are so flaky that you communicating in multiple languages makes them angry enough to not buy albums like I Superhuman era & leave, let them go!! You’ll get more fans just out of appreciation for the fact that you did the right thing instead of caving in to spoiled nonsensical brattiness. I am so incredibly annoyed by them having no backbones bro. Get a spine or always stay at the mercy of unreasonable ppl willing to drop you for being a fair person and a good idol.

[behardonyourself]

The Wildest Month

Although I’ve been in the midst of training for Ironman Waco and Waco 70.3, I haven’t allowed myself to shy away from challenges. In fact, I decided to test myself more over a one month period mere weeks out of my back to back races.

It all started on August 8th, 2022.  I was, quite frankly, bored with the regular progressive training of Ironman.  So, I decided to push it and set out to run a marathon in peak, August in Texas heat of 111 degrees.

At the marathon mark, I was feeling great, and thought “why not go 5 more miles and hit a 50km?” and after just 3 hours and 55 minutes, I finished 31.1 miles.

While I was proud of what I had done (this was the furthest that I had run in nearly two years), the thought was in my mind: What have I been leaving on the table?

That haunting idea lingered in my head for a few days - until that following Sunday.  I decided that I needed to really test myself and run 100 miles.  No crowds, no medals, no trophies - just me and Texas.  

So on August 18, I woke up at 2:30am and set out.

I actually Live-Tweeted it.

Through Texas heat, torrential downpour, excruciating blisters, chaffing, a broken foot and a lot of suffering, I kept my commitment to myself and finished the 100 miles in 25 hours (the first 76.5 miles took only 15 hours - and then I took my shoes off - the last 23.5 took 10 hours).  

Fortunately, my friends Chris and Brian showed up to help get me through those last excruciating miles.

While my feet were decimated, I was happy to have finally put myself into the crucible once more and force myself to push beyond my known capabilities.

But it still wasn’t enough.

Ten days later, I though to myself “Why don’t I just do an Ironman as well?”

And just 13 days after the 100 mile run on August 31st, I was at the pool at 5am, ready to do a self-staffed full Ironman.  Except I swam 3.6 miles instead of just 2.4.  Due to storms, I was forced to do the ride on my indoor bike trainer.  I had forgotten that the AC repair guy was coming that day, so there I was, 6 hours on the bike trainer, upstairs in my house where the thermostat read 91 degrees (which is like 200 outside).  

Shortly into the 26.2 mile run I realized how terrible of an idea this was and how bad my feet were busted, but I pushed on.  Even with oozing blisters and throbbing feet, I still finished the marathon portion in 4 hours.  

I also Live-Tweeted the Ironman as well.

So a 100 mile run and an Ironman+ in 13 days.  Considering that less than 4 years ago I couldn’t run 1/4 of a mile, you’d think I’d be satisfied.  

Not quite.

After about a week and a half, I was reading through Twitter and noticed how nearly every person on Fitness Twitter pretends to live like a month.  Actually, they make it seem like it’s required to do anything substantial.

Well, I’m a bit of a fuck up, so I began to wonder how degenerate I could be and still do something physically exerting.  That’s when I hatched the idea to run a marathon and simultaneously drink at least one case (24) of beer.  

Oh, and I live tweeted the disaster on September 13th.

While it was obviously one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done, I did manage to drink over 30 beers and run a marathon.  While I don’t remember much of it, I think I proved the point that fitness doesn’t require you to live like a saint or be perfect.  

If I didn’t get that point across, I still had a lot of fucking fun.

Now, here I am 17 days out of Waco, where I’ll be doing the full and half Ironman on consecutive days as the Gold Star Initiative representative, where I’ll be carrying full sized American flags on the run portions of each race to give to families of fallen military members at each respective finish line.

After that?  I don’t know for sure.  But I do know this - I’ve only begun to scratch the surface of what is possible for me, and I know that if I can do some of these things, absolutely anyone can.  We are capable of more than we know.

Keep moving forward, gang.

[silasbug]

dream log Nr. 007

05/08/2022

Type: the kind where you`re half awake & keep waking up but your brain indulges | Flow: smooth with transitions | Amount: 1

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i had trouble falling asleep until 4 a.m. because the world was just too noisy- the sky broke over our town and while i absolutely love heavy rainfall, it made it hard to get a wink of sleep. i also woke up to me tickling my own arms. it was very similar to one i had about two years ago & gave me a dope idea for a PnP campaign i`ve been wanting to write. maybe i`ll finally get around to it.

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there was a difference between the “real” and a “game/dream” world in this dream. in “reality”, i was sitting on a couch with a friend and we had two books on us. these were instructions, information, profiles, monster data, etc. the perspective would flip from here to in the “dream”.

in the dream, we found ourselves in a world that had multiple layers, each layer you went deeper was like a new “world” (although the sizes varied greatly). best way i can describe it is a combination of Made in Abyss and Infinity Train.

i had received the objective that i had to reach the lowermost layer before a whole day had gone by if i wanted to.. save the world? or something similar. this part really is the least important, but i was in a rush.

i had a companion in the form of a small gnome man, he had a cute little pointed hat, brown booths and a matted green tunic.

i only remember a few layers unfortunately and the last one we were trying to traverse when i woke up.

1. Cityscape: this was really just a huge metropolitan. when you looked at a map, the roads were running in circles, knots, it was a nightmare. i opened google maps on my phone to find the fastest route & it told me it`d take at least an hour to get to the exit. well, i didnt have an hour! so i ran across the streets, cutting in between traffic when i found a way through, and eventually we found an elevator to take us a layer deeper.

2. “Backroom” town: this layer was like a town from the middle ages, but it was all rooms. there were tavern-rooms, battle-practice rooms, a throne room, etc. it was claustophobic. we eventually came upon a room that had a dirt floor, a throne next to it. it seemed like an area where the king was to be entertained by the court jester, where he would deal out executions, etc. there was a not-too-fancy throne with a trap door next to it, which served as our exit to the layer below. there was a condition we had to meet in order to be able to get past the king who was being entertained, but i don`t remember.

3. Stadion: i don`t remember much about this one but when we lowered ourselves into this one, we were in what seemed like an enormous stadion. there was a large square area in the middle that went down for an uncountable amount of floors. there were so many people/creatures, railings along all sides going down so people could watch. it was very black and gold. i`m not even sure how we left this one. if i think about it it looked similar, but much more impressive and old-timey than the huge quidditch stadium at the beginning of the Goblet of Fire.

4. Black Glass Castle: it was almost like a huge castle? this one was actually very cool- parts of the catle were ship like and made of wood, we talked to some maids who informed us about a museum that might contain what we were looking for since our objective was to free.. something or someone extremely powerful. the museum was within the castle itself, the walls were made of thick, black glass. we couldn`t immediately see what we were looking for since it was heavily guarded. there were hundreds of lined-up suits armours floating in a sea of blackness, ready to attack any who got close, along with one very impressive guardian. i eventually manage to get close to the glass cage in the museum (by floating somehow), but the guardian hasnt awokened yet. once i get close enough to touch it, they awaken with glowing red eyes, everything around us shifts, and they lunge themselves towards me at the cage. i dodge and they end up colliding with the cage. i´m scared shitless because i had no idea on how to escape this, but their contact with the cage causes it to open with a flash of light & their body goes limp. they fall backwards like a corpse, staring at me (and they look like FIllavandrel from the Witcher series?) with dead, red-glowing eyes. as the cage combusts in a flash of light, what i can only describe as mettaton-but-as-a-fat-chef comes waltzing out of the cage and.. and that´s it. condition met. he holds a little speech, the door to the next world opens in one of the maid`s quarters (it was a trap door again), and we leave. 

5. Meadows: this was the last layer before i woke- we lowered ourselves from the layer above onto a bunk bed in what felt like a rocking ship (i had to reach up and help the gnome down because he was too short) and we found a map situated on the bed. it told us where we were, and our objective told us where to go. oddly, the map was embroidered which was very neat! it was like a large grassland), as i was looking at some flowers that were flittle french-knots on the map, my alarm rung and i woke up.

in between the layers my perception would switch to me sitting on the couch (i was laying down with my head in my friends lap). we were almost through the first book, but i was afraid we wouldn`t be able to finish the campaign in the alotted timeframe.