#I wouldn't wish this crap even upon people i don't like!! what is wrong with some people

[tricksterlatte]

I've always been fascinated by fandom history, and I know I'm not the only one. It's interesting to see how fans of pop culture can create a culture of their own, and in the modern age of social media and the internet in general, that culture is as widespread as ever. Unfortunately, that also means downsides are becoming bigger as this culture becomes widespread, and it's saddening to watch, maybe even concerning.

I don't discuss these things to be preachy, especially considering how I've fallen into several of these pitfalls before, and have perpetuated some of this behavior in the past. To say otherwise would make me a hypocrite and a liar, and I firmly believe this goes for most people in any fandom. I was just thinking about this recently, and how a lot of the biggest stressors in what should be our stress relief really can be pinned mostly into a few central talking points, which I would love to discuss to know if I'm not just going crazy here

The concept of Big Name Fan has evolved into a position of authority on fandom, which does not fall to anyone regarding subjectivity. No one in a fandom is an authority except the creators themselves, who have every right to stay away from the fandoms they have birthed.

Popularity in general being conflated to intellectual authority as well, especially on websites with public stats, particularly following counts. The algorithm is no benevolent god, but people will sometimes see someone with 30k followers and think they are correct on a minor non-issue that has spiraled into discourse, especially when compared to someone with 30 followers. This also is just...a bummer when fanon evolves into perceived canon, and newcomers to the fandom can't post even innocuous meta or headcanons without it being perceived as morally/intellectually incorrect.

Monetization of fanworks, but especially zines, have led to a hypercompetitive atmosphere that only escalates the bitterness and resentment. This is not a universal problem, but many zines across all fandoms habitually accept the same artists and writers, or diminish the value of fanfic due to the limitations of physical printing. The application process has devolved into such a disheartening debacle for a majority of people I see, and the way it is often framed as "your work just wasn't good enough" when it's really about what the mods deem mass marketable will destroy just about anyone's self-esteem after repetitive rejections, and will give some frequent zine runners a false sense of final say over the community (not usually, but it can happen).

The level of distrust for anyone new attempting to start a fan project is just so depressing nowadays (and this one we sadly can blame on a few people by name, but the ones who have sent this issue spiraling still don't care and that just sucks. I feel horrible for everyone who has been tricked).

Somehow comment and anonymous asks have gone backwards from "don't feed the trolls" to "suck it up, at least you're getting comments." I have seen some of these comments people have been told to suck up. It's not okay in general. It's particularly gross when it's an anonymous hate message unrelated to the fanworks themselves, perhaps born out of resentment or bearing an ulterior motive. And some will even attack and defame character due to identity. It's not subtle. It's not okay. People should absolutely be dunked on for this, and I gotta say I'm sick of unsolicited concrit being enforced as positive either. If they didn't ask, don't give it. There's a reason a lot of fic writers some people adore suddenly go ghost, and they can't even talk about it.

Don't like, don't read has been discarded in favor of don't like, tell others don't read and also don't write. Transformative works don't have to fit into a canon or even in character mold. That's why they're transformative! It's a different type of artistic expression. If you don't like it, chances are good it simply wasn't meant for you. It's not bad. Don't shame others, god especially not for non-issues such as a t/b preference or a different gender hc, preferred haircuts, types of animal you imagine them as in another lifetime, I could list literally anything here and I bet there has been a fandom fight over it.

Exclusive yet publicly advertised community Discords that will bar you from invite if you're not one of the cool kids. I have unfortunately fallen into this trap before, and refuse to ever enable or endorse that behavior ever again. This isn't about friend groups either, it's about fandom-dedicated servers that flaunt themselves as a VIP club instead of what they are: a friend group. I also don't even know how to broach the subject of private accounts that turn into fandom tea accounts with dozens if not hundreds of followers, only for people to be angry if someone isn't exactly okay with horrific stuff being said in general, let alone about their mutuals or friends.

I know none of this will likely ever change, and tbh i'm so tired of it all, but...does anyone else know what I mean? I'm stressed out whenever I try to enjoy myself, because popularity and a strange business mindset is steadily taking over fandom spaces. I'm not saying people should stop trying to make stuff that sells, or that people universally do any of this, but fandom is evolving into a thing I'm not sure is good. idk anymore

[radama-zard]

Dungeons & Drabbles 2023

Day 2 - Step

----------------

FCG & Ashton - ModernHuman AU

Steps.

Why did it always have to be steps?

What was wrong with a nice, accessible ramp? They were easier for everyone, nobody had to fear tripping down or up them, parents with strollers could get inside, injured folk didn't have to struggle… and Fresh Cut Grass could have a little of his independence back, being able to wheel themself in with their wheelchair.

But of course life was hardly ever that kind.

A tired sigh slipped past their lips as he stared up at the flight of stairs, blocking them from the sweet little cafe they’d been oh so excited to try out. A customer, Jester, they thought, had been raving about the cupcakes here, and knowing the woman to be a real pastry connoisseur, Fresh Cut Grass had near instantly wanted to get a few themself.

But that dream seemed so cruelly out of reach now.

“Man, you’d think fucker’s would have caught on by now. Shit like this doesn't fly these days! Fancy new chairs and tables, but the owner can't be assed to make their business accessible. Bastard!”

Oh how they startled, jolting in such a way that almost had Fresh Cut Grass and their chair veering dangerously close to toppling. A solid, scarred hand steadied them, letting his frantically beating heart finally come to a rest.

“Fuck! Didn't mean to scare ya like that. My bad. You alright?”

“Y-Yeah! You just gave me a right startling, is all. I'm a-okay!”

“That's a relief. I’d feel like crap if I’d sent your heart packin’ or something…”

Did… Did the stranger look guilty? Well, that just wouldn't do at all! After all, a stranger was just a friend you hadn't met, and the last thing Fresh Cut Grass ever wished to see was a friend all sad and down in the dumps!

“It's fine, really! I spook real easy, my friend Imogen says I’d jump at my own shadow if I ever forgot it was there! But you're not scary yourself. I like your purple hair, and the eyeliner! Oh, and your cane too! Did you decorate it yourself? It looks fun-spooky!”

The stranger stared down at them, slowly blinking as their one good eye focused down on Fresh Cut Grass, taking in everything from their chunky cerulean blue box braids and round, thick glasses, to their bright yellow sweater and mismatched fingerless gloves. In contrast to their own ragged leather vest, covered in hand stitched patches and badges, deep red plaid pants and spiked belts, topped off with boots so hefty they looked able to smash someone’s head in… Well, they couldn't look more different.

Yet Fresh Cut Grass still smiled up at them, all warm and welcoming and so completely genuine that it seemed to catch them off guard.

“Most people would just flip me off and tell me to get fucked,” they muttered, leaning heavily upon their cane before shrugging and sticking a hand in their pocket, seemingly relaxing. “I didn't decorate this shit myself. A friend did. She’s one hell of a spooky ass bitch. Real arts and crafty. But anyway. I’m Ashton. Ashton Greymoore. You?"

“Oh, right! Introductions! Smiley Day to ya, Ashton, I’m Fresh Cut Grass!”

There was a beat of silence, more than a tad awkward, as Fresh Cut Grass awaited their response. Likely a laugh or a roll of the eyes or maybe even a sneer! Most people were funny about names when they weren't the most normal.

Not Ashton though.

No. He grinned, wide and bright and just shimmering with absolute delight.

“That's one hell of a name. You picked it yourself?”

“I did! It's my favorite smell. Ya don't think it's… weird?”

“Oh no, it's weird. But, I mean, fuck, have you looked at me? I like weird,” Ashton grinned wider, throwing one last glance at the inaccessible cafe as something shifted once more in his demeanor. “I know a place a few blocks from here. Unlike these fuckers, they actually give a fuck about people like us. Wanna join me there, Grass?”

“... Do they do cupcakes?” Fresh Cut Grass asked, their mind already made up before Ashton even had a chance to answer.

“Freshly baked in house. So… You coming?”

“I’d love t’ join ya! Thank ya kindly, Ashton!”

Their laughter in turn was rough and harsh, yet the warmth it held settled deep within Fresh Cut Grass’ tired bones… and within moments, he couldn't even quite remember why they’d been upset at all.

[thattimdrakeguy]

Frankly if you asked me, all of that unnecessary misdirection and twists that left poor Tim at the ‘make him angsty and edgier’ block for later writers to force upon him was the result of the whole darker and edgier train that permeated not just the Batbooks but the whole industry throughout the decade he was in.

Basically short, in my honest opinion, Tim Drake was the perfect character at the absolutely wrong time.

The 90s edgier nonsense (as foreshadowed by the marvelous competition’s hefty promotion of Venom, Cable and other like minded antiheroes, Early Image having a foundation built on that) made possible with the Batmania (since he’s naturally the perfect candidate for darker and edgier due to both his gothic aesthetic and his insane popularity) unfortunately gave the writers of that era and the 2000s the impression that since it’s Gotham, things in universe are just miserable and sucky

And since Tim lives in Gotham, despite meant to be the counter to that misery that permeates the city he helps defend, it was only a matter of time before that wrong impression got to him too

It’s why to this day, my preferred Tim Drake is that original Fanboy we saw in A Lonely Place of Dying since in the end, that’s what he’s meant to be, beginner or not and why I am still reluctant to get anything Dixon related on both him and Nightwing since those runs are built on that train of thought that says ‘misery in setting and edgier characters means compelling and mature storytelling, especially in Gotham’

I know, long winded, I just needed to vent. You may ignore this if you wish to

Bro, I just asked #cats what a raw potato tasted like, I don't feel like ignoring much.

And, I wouldn't say Tim was in the wrong time. He has his great successes in the 90s. The main reason he's talked about past people's obsession with one story in Red Robin, that has slowly lost popularity 'cause of people realizing it wasn't the best Tim--is 'cause of the 90s.

There was plenty of people who were sick of the big overexaggerated 90s crap even if it did infest Tim a bit when they'd draw him way buffer than he was clearly meant to be.

It's all just a matter of writers with the ability to do better either not advancing to the right places in comics, or throwing their talents down the toilet to be there.

It's all about good writing. That's it, really, that's the big secret.

Why is Dick a massive joke of a character now? 'Cause the writing got bad.

Why did Batman look like a total maniac more like usual for a while? 'Cause the writing got bad.

Why is Damian totally unrecognizable a lot of the time on nearly every single level for over a decade now(Though I have heard some aspects like art have been getting better, or so I've seen thankfully, but I'm still not trusting that all the way because now this fucking fucking hell)? 'Cause the work got bad.

Why is Jason just a fan fic edgy woobie fuck a lot of the time now? 'Cause the writing got bad.

How did Steph go from edgy, determined, "vigilante vixen", who was morally kinda questionable at times go to acting like a 12-year-old sometimes? 'Cause the writing got bad.

No matter what in the end. It's all down to the writing, and also art.

There's always been good movies in every decade no matter the taste, because people with true talent and knowledge, and know-how where out there to make so happen.

Comics being a dwindling medium that's how a down-turn in quality going on for a long time? It's just not a business worth getting into anymore. Passion or not, people just aren't good writers. And that can happen in any era.

But back to the main point, Tim was at his most popular in the 90s in an era you wouldn't think he'd fit into with all the Rob Liefeld stuff. Like he got an 80-page-giant in the late 90s over some characters you think would actually get one because he was so naturally popular.

But what made him work then isn't dated. It's timeless. They just haven't had good enough writers to make him work, and it sucks, but it's how it is.

The reason Tim really got changed so much isn't down to tastes in an era. It's down to the taste of a few people in specific positions. Things that made Tim work were still working wonders in other places.

[pakeithpsy]

Creativity: A Life Wasted

I think I know what my problem is now.

I don't actually enjoy art, or writing, or animating, or designing games, or ANY of the creative process.

What I ACTUALLY enjoy is just having ideas and then hyperfixating on them for ages, fantasizing about how cool they would be until I inevitably get bored with them.

I like coming up with new ideas and ruminating on their possibilities more than I do actually acting upon them because I'm a pathetic failure of an adult who was never once challenged or defied by his peers and now I'm completely unprepared to actually do the work because it no longer makes me happy.

I'm just a complete fucking joke. I don't deserve to call myself a creative. I'm no better than all those AI douchebags who want all the glory of being an artist with none of the effort, and even they have more fucking drive than I do. Goddamn Christian Weston Chandler has more balls than I do - at least they actually fucking MADE something.

In 2017 I applied to online art college, having spent my entire life drawing the wrong way. It was the wake up call I needed, because it made me realize I'm not an artist, I never have been, and I never will be and that I was completely unfit to live in the adult world. If I ever wanted to pass, I would need to completely unlearn everything I knew about art. Nobody ever taught or explained any of the elements of art or figure drawing to me - all my art teachers when I was in school never once explained any of this. I had spent my entire life drawing the wrong way and had it committed to muscle memory. All of this new information and the speed at which it was being fed to me was confusing, scary, overwhelming. Everything they said I had to do sounded extremely hard, tedious, exhausting, and just beyond any of my capabilities.

I ended up falling behind because the material was just so difficult and moving too fast I gave up on even trying because it just didn't seem possible or worth my time. I felt like I couldn't do it. I KNEW I couldn't do it. I had spent my whole life thinking I had a calling for art when in reality my peers were just coddling me to spare my feelings, never once asking me if I had a plan or helping me find the resources I needed or even just giving me the tiniest ounce of criticism that my dream was unrealistic. Everyone told me I'd grow up to be an artist or a writer or animator and I just believed them like a fucking idiot.

I nearly killed myself because I felt like such a burden on my family, wasting all their money on trying to help my incompetent ass when I was too far gone. I was holding them back from enjoying and enriching their own lives because all that time was wasted on trying to get me to make something of myself. All my life I had been a constant disappointment to them and to myself. I thought I was nothing but a bane on their existence - all their dreams, all their aspirations, their own chance at happiness, all gone because they had to give it up to take care of me, and I repaid them by being a lazy piece of shit who refused to change or grow up. I genuinely thought their lives would be better if I had never been born and they'd be happy to see me dead, no longer bound by the chains of my arrested development and constant failure. I was doing nothing but holding them back. "If I were dead, then Mom could find a job instead of having to stay home all day taking care of her incompetent adult son," I thought to myself. "Then my brother won't have to wait on me or put up with my crap, everyone will be able to afford nicer things now that they're not throwing all their money away on classes that I refuse to get anything out of."

Now I wish I had gone through with it, that way all the people whose time I've wasted would get those precious hours of their life back, and so I wouldn't have had to watch as the creative industry, the place I thought I belonged, get gutted and mutilated and stomped into nothing by corporate greed, leaving me no option but to go indie, an impossible task for trash like me. I have no following, no connections, crippling fear of socialization and failure, no money to hire help, no experience in running a production, no TALENT for any of this. No matter how much I try I simply cannot learn because I can't handle even the tiniest setback or hurdle. What a complete joke. What was I even thinking? The only way to get what I want is to change who I am, something I've been trying to do for years but every time I try I keep spiraling back and ending up back at square one.

A while back I took an animation class specifically for people with autism. I was far and away the best artist there (for what little that means). Everyone else's skill was on par with a third grader who just started using MS Paint. But did they care? NO! They were just happy to be there at all. They LOVED drawing, they were EXCITED to start using Animate and they dived right in. Meanwhile I was busy bawling my eyes out because I couldn't even draw a still image of someone throwing a simple punch. I couldn't do anything more complex than a simple bouncing ball because the thought of drawing anything more complicated overwhelmed me with fear. So even compared to other disabled people I'm a complete and utter embarrassment. Hell, just this week at another class I was frustrated because I couldn't even draw a fucking APPLE correctly, aka Basic Drawing 101. What was I thinking, trying to convince myself I belong here?

I haven't talked about it in a while, but I have a whole adult cartoon concept I've been working on since at least 2013, for the past decade of my life it's been my main goal to see it finished. I have a whole series bible, several episode outlines, a script for a full 30-minute episode, and a whole storyboard for a short pilot of sorts that I even got my friends to record voices for. I was hoping to pitch it to Adult Swim or another network and then work my way up from there. But I wasted so much time fantasizing about what it could lead to that I never stopped to think about what would happen if something changed. I didn't know TV and streaming would become so utterly fucked that pitching to them would become a losing game, especially for a lowly nobody like me who can't even crack a thousand views on YouTube anymore unless it's a vocoded Family Guy clip. And as for going indie, what's the point in that? It's an adult comedy conceived in 2013 with all the humor that would entail, and the minute people figure out the punchline of the short they're going to immediately decide that they hate it, it has no potential, and I'm a lazy hack without ever seeing everything else I have to show for it. I feel like the only way anybody would even give it a smidgen of a chance is if I were to spoil everything that happens later (i.e. the parts that aren't meant to be funny), but I don't want to have to ruin the surprise just to get people to care one iota about it. I want people to support it and care about these characters because they genuinely like what I've made and want to see more of their antics and stories, not because they check all the boxes in their list of requirements for what a "real" cartoon should be. Any passion I once had for the idea is gone because of factors out of my control, and what little passion I do still have is merely out of spite for shows that are pretentious and up their own ass with drama and lore and the mere thought of giving the middle finger to the mindset that animation only matters if it's angsty and unfun, not because I still believe in this world and its characters.

"WELL JUST MOVE ON TO A NEW PROJECT DIPSHIT." Okay. Fine. I have. I've got TONS of ideas for other things I'd like to make. But why should I when I have no faith in myself that I can even do it? Why put in the effort when my passion for art is dead in the water? Nothing I can do right now will get me any closer to fulfilling my dreams. I can't afford to hire a crew, I wouldn't know the first thing about directing, nobody's going to give me the money because nothing I can make with my current skillset would ever grab anyone's attention, let alone make them think it's worthy of financial support, and every attempt I've made at trying to improve myself so that I can make something more impressive always comes up stillborn because of my crippling anxiety and a lifetime of terrible habits.

Chris Wade, Pan-tastique, and Tracy Butler were all right about me, I just want success laid out in front of me without having to do any of the work and I'm an insult to creatives everywhere. A stupid, selfish square trying to shove himself into a round hole. A manchild who would rather fantasize about fame and admiration than spend a single fucking minute actually trying to fix himself because he knows he doesn't have what it takes. The literal definition of an AI chud who thinks all that matters is the idea and doesn't want to put in a single bit of effort, yet I continue to insist I'm better than them instead of just throwing in the towel already.

I'm sorry I ever wasted anybody's time trying to act like one of you. I'm not one of you. I never was. I'm just a mewling little wannabe who needs to go back to the mental hospital before he hurts himself or someone else, shielded from our deteriorating, rotted society where only scum succeed and good people suffer and basic survival becomes more and more unaffordable due to the ruling class never being happy with the billions of dollars they already have.

I just wish someone had the courage to tell me no as a kid. To discourage me, to shoot down my dreams, to tear my awful art and shitty stories to shreds figuratively and literally. Maybe then I could've saved myself before I crashed and burned with nothing else to fall back on. Maybe then I could've found a new passion, something that actually matters to me, something I can actually do and enjoy doing. Maybe then I'd be happy. I'd be someone surrounded with pride and accomplishment and a sense of meaning instead of a bunch of useless middle school-tier doodles and sculptures that I fantasize about destroying because I can't stand the sight of them and all the failure they represent. Someone who was proud of who he is and what he's done. Someone who could've found new idols to collaborate with instead of being constantly disappointed by a bunch of backstabbing Hollywood scumbags. Someone who didn't feel like a constant failure and can't even speak up to his own family or therapist because he's too fucking embarrassed by the idea of asking for help out of fear of judgment and everyone seeing how pathetic and vulnerable he is and would rather run to the arms of strangers who don't know or care about him since it feels less personal.

But no. It wasn't to be. Instead I'm a miserable loser who ruined his own life and will never make anything of himself unless he gets a complete personality transplant and should've just kicked the bucket 6 years ago when he had the chance.

[jim-fetter-illustrations]

 I wish I may, I wish I might, I'm the cause of this blight?

WISHFUL THINKING: an attitude or belief that something you want to happen will happen, or become true even though it is not likely or possible it ever will, due to your lack of good sense or judgment (stupidity).

Like religion!

This is the problem with our political arena democracy,..... To many voters vote on the premise of wishful thinking and that wish never comes to fruition,....... but we make plans according to our wishes coming true and we organize society to reflect those wishes coming true, like we wish to win the lottery.

Problem is when our wishes don't come true we've built a fucking foundation on them coming true and then everything goes to shit,............. well like it has been doing for the last 4 decades we are unprepared to deal with the consequences of our lack of good sense or judgment (stupidity).............. But we are starborn Americans and we will go to the extremes to force wishes to come true that didn't, and that causes chaos in societies like we have been seeing for the last 4 presidencies.

Anyone else noticing this crap but me?!?!

Ya see the main problem with wishful thinking is you do it based upon 'Misinformation'— which is deliberately shared wrong information (e.g., fake news), which isn't just simple misperceptions (e.g., genuine mistakes)—it's an outright, knowing lie, like Trump uses to get clueless and stupid people to do things for him that normal people wouldn't fall for.

This poses a number of dangers when ignorant people take it as fact to a democratic society. Democracy thrives on the active and honest participation of citizens and misinformation threatens its success by obfuscating or discouraging the best course of action for voters and distorting perceptions of political opponents that we the people seem to thrive on,........ flinging shit at each other that is.

And as we have witnesses for the last 30 years from one after the other political leader using hoodwinking to get you to vote for them, like a used car salesman does to get you to buy that worthless piece of shit they are calling an automobile.

Understand now??? And the stupid people still won't, that's the problem,........ we got way too many stupid people voting with the same power the intelligent people have.

It would seem to me that there would be some kind of voting test just to see if a person knows what the fuck is going on in this country, and those who are clueless don't get to vote on the futures of the people who do get it,..... and we could give the clueless people a free barbeque or something they might enjoy better than voting for something they have no idea how it's gonna impact their lives!

Once there are more clueless people than people who get it voting Capitalism then becomes a monopoly game of who can kiss, and french the ass of the political party in charge. Like we do today basically.

That's my take on it anyway, and I'm sure you got your own, and with the two we can't even bring back that Affordable Connectivity Program that government said would be lower costing internet for all Americans, you know that program Biden said would be a permanent government benefit for all Americans who qualified as low income, making less $35,800 a year.

Well that permanent government program was shut down through congressional action that ended that PERMANENT Government program,...... they needed the money to improve congress's members dental benefit's.....so it was on the hush-hush, not widely advertised.

Wish in one hand, and shit in the other,... See which one gets fulfilled first,............. that's what's going on as you vote for "pie-in-the-sky" wishful thinking.

But don't take my word for it,.................. hide and watch.............!

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[danses-with-dogmeat]

Hi! If possible can you do a romanced companions react to a sole who taught growing up that being intimate in bed was wrong/made them bad? Maybe sole still wants to try with the companions maybe not! Up to you!

By the way your works are always so fun to read! i read fan-fiction and companion reacts a lot before going to sleep and your blogs are def one of my favs!

R!FO4 Companions React to Sole who was Taught that Intimacy is Wrong

I really like this! It was such an interesting prompt to consider! And I ended up leaving it pretty open ended, as far as what Sole decides, so it could go either way, and hopefully is more inclusive that way :)

As always, let me know if you wanna see anybody else for this at all!

I hope you enjoy! ❤️

Also, it's not explicit at all, but subject matter is NSFW related, so just a heads up on that!

Cait:

"Right, I was sold that shite too, a good time ago. I thought it was just a load of crap, jus' another thing parents did te try an' control ya, but... I think maybe I believe it too. Now more than ever... Sure seems like nothin' but bad comes of it with me anyway."

Cait seemed to get lost in her troubling train of thought at the sound of her own words, and Sole had to reach for her before she snapped out of it. At the light feel of their hand on her arm, Cait was roused from her disturbing memories.

"I jus' thought maybe with you... I danno, maybe it'd be different. Maybe it could be somethin' good, with the right kinda person."

The realization came as a bit of a surprise to her, after all these years, Cait never could have imagined looking fondly at those same actions that had been used against her, forced upon her, for so long. She'd even believed her parents, when she was young, as much as she didn't want to. All of the guilt they would try to thrust upon her for any stray thought they didn't agree with, any action she could take that they knew could have lowered her monetary value, it all got to her in the end. Once her parents sold her off though, once they showed their true horrendous and selfish colors, those sentiments about purity and righteousness that they'd tried to teach her meant less than nothing. Neither to her, nor the assholes who enslaved her.

Cait didn't know when her thoughts had changed, when she started to think that maybe somethin' like this could be really, genuinely good. But she did now. Even despite everythin' she'd been through.

It must be cuz o' them.

She wouldn't wouldn't be used to a relationship without sex, but then again, Cait's not really used to proper relationships in general... Truth is though, the act of intimacy has only ever been a source of pain and furious resentment for her, and though she believes that Sole maybe has the ability to change that, for her, it's just as well bein' able to be with 'em at all.

Curie:

"Oh! Well... Let's see, hmmm."

Quickly, the synth tried to organize her thoughts on this matter. Her own views tumbling to the front of her mind as Sole looked on with held breath.

"Well... while I zhink zhat you are entitled to whatever it is you wish to believe, I feel like I must state my own opinions on zhis matter as well, if you don't mind, my love."

She released a breath as Sole nodded to her, relieved that she would not be overstepping any bounds with her partner.

"Yes, well, I believe... intimacy between two people... it iz a very natural zhing, yes? It is a way to possibly create new life, and strengzhen emotional bonds between people. So, forgive me, but I do not see zhis as a bad zhing? It 'as great potential to be somesing beautiful, if you let it. But zhen again, it is surely not for everyone. And not you, nor anyone else, can be faulted for zhat. We can do whatever makes you 'appy, mon cherie. I love you eizher way, I assure you."

No matter what Sole's response, she'd plant a kiss on their cheek, and fix them with a sincere smile. Though she was always interested in experiencing such uniquely human sensations with the one she loves, the synth figures she's gone quite a long time without such experiences. To her, just being with Sole is much more important.

Danse:

"I understand... and I don't want to force you into anything that might make you uncomfortable."

Their confession surprised him, because for some reason, he'd always felt similarly. Danse was never quite sure why, and plenty of soldiers he knew, if not all of them, had next to no reservations about having sexual relations with another, no matter the status of their relationship to whomever it was. But the idea of participating in such activities so casually never really appealed to the (ex)Paladin, and he'd never felt the type of connection with anyone that his heart and mind would require in order to partake in the act of intimacy in earnest. At least, not until now...

"I respect your choice," He told them slowly, assessing his thoughts thoroughly before allowing them to leave his tongue, "as well as your beliefs, and your boundaries, Sole, and I'm glad you trust me enough to be honest with me. I... Well, admittedly, I've also had to come to terms with my own reservations regarding... ahem, intimacy as well, but..."

But what?

Danse knew something significant had changed in him when he met Sole, that it became more and more easy to ignore the reservations he had before he knew them, that there was more to them than just being physically attractive, just being kind and compassionate, being a capable soldier, and a loyal friend and partner that made him want to be close to them in a way he'd never been with anyone else.

How can I explain such a phenomenon?

"But... I can honestly say that I do not believe that such an act, if done with someone that you love, and who feels the same... it cannot be considered wrong, or evil."

Sex has never been high on Danse's priority list, especially before he met Sole, but even now, he values their relationship far too much to put an end to it over something like this. Whatever Sole is comfortable with, whatever they need from him as a partner, and whatver they don't need, he'll be happy to comply.

Deacon:

"Oh thank God. I was wondering how to break this to you, but now it seems the exchange'll be much less disappointing for both of us... You see, Sole, I'm actually a eunuch."

Sole's expression widened to accommodate their shocked state, before quickly reverting back to narrowed eyes and a suspicious stare. Before they even had a chance to speak, Deacon knew he'd been found out.

"Okay, yeah... no. That maaaay have been a lie." One hand came up to rub at the back of his neck as Deacon took a moment to really organize his proper response to this confession of theirs. As playful as the spy tended to be, this was an issue he needed to think through carefully.

"But really though, I know we don't get to choose who we grow up with, and what kinda influence they'll have on us... but seriously? You really feed into all of that fire and brimstone stuff? Now look, I know I'm no saint or anything, far from it, I know that better than anyone, but Sole..."

Deacon took a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly before continuing.

This vulnerability stuff really is not my forte.

"I told you, I had a wife once, and we-- well... she never could've been made bad. Not any way, not even with yours truly over here."

Deacon threw them a nervous smile, his hands shaking as his apprehension slowly began to disperse. It was moments like these he was glad to have the shades to conceal the bulk of his anxious expression, and the vulnerability in his eyes.

"An' you're like her, you know. You're good. And really, it doesn't matter to me if you're celibate or not, for whatever reason. No matter what, I'll always be your partner. No lack of bedroom funzies can change that, okay?"

At that, Deacon gave his partner a playful boop on the nose, just to try and disperse the tension he'd felt build up with Sole's reveal.

He really meant it all, and despite the fact that he's always had a hard time discussing some of the more serious bits of relationships, he really hopes it comes across to his partner that they are enough for him, no matter the state of their enthusiasm over sex. If things change in time? Great, Deacon will be excited to explore it, but if not... Sole is more important.

"Alrighty then, now that we got all that mushy business out of the way, whattaya say? Time to get back to name kicking and ass taking, or what?"

Hancock:

"Aw, well a little sinnin' never hurt anybody. Even if it did, it sure is a lotta fun." Hancock practically growled, as close to them as he could get, despite the subject matter of the conversation. Soon as he saw the way their eyebrows crinkled together and how they shifted uncomfortably at his proximity though, Hancock backed off, opting to shift himself over and sit a few more inches away from them than he really would've liked.

"Hey, but don't let me pressure ya into anythin', sunshine. Whatever you wanna do, I'm game, alright?"

He let one of his calloused hands fall to capture theirs, giving it a reassuring squeeze as a smile touched his thin lips.

"An' no matter what choice you make, you could never be bad, sweetheart. No matter what kinda... sinful influence I have over ya." At that, he'd seal their lips with a kiss, pulling back just before he got too handsy or heated for their comfort level.

Hancock has to admit, he's a little disappointed, and more than a little suspicious that maybe this hesitancy of theirs has something to do with his bein' a ghoul, but if Sole continues to reassure him that it really is just their deep-rooted belief, he'll try to believe them best as he can.

It would be difficult for him, since sex has always had such a prevalence in his life and his relationships, but ultimately, Sole makes him happier than Hancock's ever been before. Sex or no sex, he just feels honored to be able to love them the way he does, and just so long as he keeps gettin' to kiss 'em, and hold them close, he thinks he can make this work. An' if ever the day does come that Sole feels ready, or comfortable enough to try to be intimate with him, he'll consider himself all the more honored by it.

MacCready:

"Look, Sole, I don't know how much I really know about sh- stuff like this, but..."

He trailed off as he tried to gather his thoughts together under the pressure of their expectant gaze. The mercenary was definitely caught off-guard with this confession of theirs, his cheeks heating to a muted pink as he pulled back from them to speak.

"All I can say is, Sole, it's just... Well it can't be-- Okay, all I can say is that Duncan, my son, well... he's the best thing that's come out of my life. The most good that I've done. And he... well, he came from, you know, from being intimate, so... I don't know, I guess I have a hard time seeing how that could be bad, when something so good came from it."

This was... new to MacCready. He'd never even considered someone having an opinion like this, but maybe that's cuz he grew up with a bunch of kids who had very few opinions on it at all, beyond teasing and being grossed out.

Must be some leftover pre-war thing...

"It's up to you though," He finished, "If you think it's wrong, I won't pretend I know any better, and I won't make you do anything you don't want to."

He told them, and he meant it.

As confused as MacCready might be over their confession though, he actually finds himself a little relieved. Since Lucy, he hasn't really felt the urge to be intimate with anyone again, even when Sole came along. He truly was more motivated to give it a try, but still, that guilt and apprehension at caring for someone that much again, it persisted. He had a hard enough time realizing the depth of his affections for them at all, and he still felt so much guilt for being able to move on, even if it has been years since he lost his first love. When it came to what he thought was impending intimacy though, MacCready found that same guilt weighing on him even more heavily, his thoughts forcing a hesitancy his heart hated to succumb to.

Much as he loves Sole, much as he wants to be with them in every way someone can be, he still felt a bitter sting whenever he tried to overcome his own subconscious reluctance when he was with them.

For now, maybe this is for the best...

Nick:

"Hm. Well, doll, not sure if I agree with that myself, but makes no difference to me, really."

Nick meant what he said. He remembered what it was like to be intimate with someone, from human Nick's memories, but as he was now, he'd never engaged in such sort of activities. Sole was the first one he'd ever even wanted to be with so closely, so intimately, even despite his own lack of organic physicality, but if they weren't comfortable with all of that, he honestly didn't mind too terribly.

Although...

What if it's not just that?

The old synth couldn't help but smile sadly at his own thought, hoping it wasn't the truth of it, yet still understanding completely if it was.

"I only hope..." He started, unsure whether he should really voice his theory at all, "You don't feel like you need to say that, do ya? If you just don't wanna be intimate with me, I wouldn't hold that against you, darlin'. I know I got these sharp edges 'n all, not really the ideal body type, is it?"

A humorless chuckle escaped him, but as Sole fixed their partner with a sympathetic look and a definite shake of their head he found his doubts quieting in his churning mind; and as they wrapped their arms around his shoulders, squeezing him tightly, sharp edges and all, Nick found his own synthetic arms sliding over their form, embracing them tightly in return. He wasn't kidding when he said it didn't matter much to him if they slept together, but this? Their acceptance of him, of not only who, but what he was? That meant the world to the old synth.

Piper:

"Oh. Okay. Um, yeah, I've heard about some of that when looking over some pre-war writings and stuff."

Piper felt the heat rushing to her cheeks as her partner rebuked her suggestion to take their make out session a little further.

Come on, she thought, all this planning and anxiety, and making sure Nat was staying at a friend's house tonight, just for this to happen? Just my luck.

"So... okay, so you're not comfortable with this kinda stuff. Got it. It's no biggie... But do you really think it's wrong? I mean, I get it, maybe if the people involved aren't all on board, you know, that's bad. But if it's two people who love each other? Who wanna be together for a long time? Who enjoy each other's company, like, a lot? For people like us, like you an' me, Blue, I just... I don't see how it could be wrong."

She didn't really know where all of that came from. Piper knew how she felt about Sole, and she hoped that they felt just as strongly, but she'd never had an outburst quite like that before, never felt this sort of dedication to someone. The reporter took a deep breath, before looking into Sole's eyes with a small smile plastered to her lips.

"I don't wanna make you do anything, of course, no matter how cute I think you are. But I just-- I don't know if I share those same beliefs..."

She bit her lip, thinking only for a moment about losing Sole as her partner over something like this, before coming to a decision.

"No matter what though, I'm with ya, Blue."

Preston:

"O-oh, well, I... I guess I never really thought about it that way before."

His dark brows rose high over his warm, chocolate eyes, pupils slightly dilated from the close contact he'd had with his partner only moments prior.

"I hope I never overstepped anything with you, I never meant to." Preston told them, scooting away from where he sat beside them on the sofa until their legs were no longer brushing each other.

This was... unexpected. Not that he thought Sole was particularly promiscuous or anything, but, he just couldn't understand someone as perfect as them never having... well...

"But do you really..." He started quietly, earnestly, "I mean, you really believe that? I don't mean any disrespect, or anything, but... I just never thought that you, well, that being intimate with you could ever be seen as something... wrong."

Unwittingly, Preston found one of his hands reaching to grasp at theirs. Not sensually, but gently, and reassuringly as he could.

"You're a good person, General, and I love you no matter what, but something like this... even if it is wrong, it couldn't outdo all of the good you've done. I-I hope that helped ease your nerves a bit. We still don't have to do anything, not ever, even, if it makes you uncomfortable, but just know, I'm here for you, however you need me. I'll always be by your side."

X6-88:

"I see."

X6 furrowed his brows at that, thinking back to all he's heard on the subject through his years of service, but the truth was, such things had never been of much concern to him, or interest, even, before meeting Sole.

What had he heard spoken through the halls?

Of course, the Institute never bothered to supply any input or training on any form of intimacy for their coursers, for obvious reasons, but now X6 was instantly reminded of the miniscule bits of information that he did manage to absorb.

"I... was always told something similar, for my kind, especially; and before now, my life remained unchanged. There was no reason to do what the doctors and scientists warned us against, what they'd told us was wrong, and still, you will receive no pressure on my account, ma'am/sir, should your views remain unchanged. However," He continued, a small, mischievous, smirk forming on his lips as he spoke, "Should you decide otherwise, you know where to find me."

[favoniuscodex]

the art of modernity [ chapter one ]

chapter one - awakening pairing: xiao x gn!reader warnings: canon-typical violence mention, medication mention words: ~1.6k words fic masterlist [ prev ] - [ next ] chapter summary: sure, xiao might be pointing his polearm at your neck and have an utterly terrifying aura, but you'll get out of this alive, right? right? a/n: THERE IS A PROLOGUE to this! lots of questions raised in this chapter, but very few are actually answered! don't worry, they'll all be answered in due time!

the blade of the polearm is cold as it rests upon the skin of your neck. the disrupted adeptus has a scowl on his face yet holds the weapon with a precision only seen in thousands of years of experience. sure, xiao hasn't sliced open your neck, but one wrong move and he likely would. xiao's amber eyes flicker from you to the group of your friends who stand on the other side of the pillar and, despite your fascination with the being in front of you, you can't help but follow his gaze.

kaeya and keqing look terrified, yanfei looks uneasy, and, surprisingly, childe is the only one who does not look unsettled by the situation. while you were not necessarily fearful of the yaksha before, you are certainly fearful of the defiant look that crosses childe's expression. it's the same one that he gets when he decides he can make a yellow light before it turns red and immediately guns the engine to hurtle across the intersection. nothing good ever comes out of his defiance, so you clear your throat, ignoring how the blade scrapes lightly against your skin as you do so, and redirect the yaksha's attention.

"with all due respect," you begin, causing xiao to narrow his eyes. "i can tell you are a yaksha based on your mask. why do you wish to bring harm to mortals?"

xiao tilts his head in confusion, eyes widening slightly at the challenge implied by your words.

"are you foolish enough to believe that i do not know of my duties?" xiao snaps at you.

"i would use the word misguid-" you begin, but in an instant, you find yourself laying flat on your back, the wind knocked out of you. ah, right. you think to yourself. he has a vision.

the world swirls above you as you attempt to regain your bearings, but the familiar sight of the polearm reappears in your line of vision, once again pointed at your neck as xiao stands to the side of you, glaring down furiously.

"you are not entirely human," xiao states and you bite back a nervous laugh. maybe you were in over your head here. "do not pretend to be what you are not in feeble attempts to correct me."

"w- what?" you sputter in confusion, but before you can actually get an answer, childe finally acts. he lets out a war cry and charges forward, arms outstretched in hopes of tackling xiao. however, xiao steps out of the way and watches as childe stumbles and falls into the water surrounding you all.

"dumbass," you hear keqing mutter angrily.

"fight me!" childe demands as he splashes towards you and xiao once more. xiao only looks at him, unamused.

"i have no desire to hurt humans, as annoying as you can be," xiao states, thoroughly irritated by childe's disruption. "i will not fight you."

"so then why do you want to hurt my friend?" childe pouts. his stature screams defiance, yet even he's smart enough to know that he cannot win a battle against an immortal, especially not like this.

yet, before xiao can answer, yanfei steps forward, eyes glowing threateningly.

"xiao. that is enough," she snaps, glaring at him while standing tall. "i know you can sense their energies too, but, for all intents and purposes, they are human."

xiao retracts his polearm from your neck before tapping the base of it against the ground. it disappears from his hand and he folds his arms across his chest, looking at yanfei judgingly.

archons, you think as you sit up, gaze flickering between the two of them. what is happening?

"you frolic with the mortals too often, yanfei," xiao says disapprovingly. "and yet you let them enter jueyun karst under your supervision."

"it is not illegal. besides, i thought most adepti were living within their abodes after humanity rejected them, xiao," yanfei states. the authoritative challenge that you recognize from her practice of law taints her voice, yet somehow it now feels... otherworldly.

is yanfei..? you think, but xiao's next words confirm your suspicions.

"i still have my contract with rex lapis to uphold," xiao states. "you are fortunate enough to not have had to sign one."

keqing and kaeya stand behind yanfei and xiao, as a sopping wet childe slowly sneaks over to them. all three of them look baffled as the realization slowly dawns over them as well. yanfei is an adeptus.

in your search for the old immortals, you had never stopped to consider the presence of one in front of you. you feel like a fool as shame at your obliviousness begins to set in. yanfei? one of your closest friends? an adeptus?

"does your contract involve pointing polearms at the descendants of gods?" yanfei asks xiao accusatorily. gods, maybe you did hit your head on that chunk of cor lapis. there was no way yanfei was talking about you? descendant of what? was this your moment when the god of your ancestry would lay their claim to you? give you superpowers? give you-

"(y/n) is just a mortal besides that energy they emit. so calm down, i've been keeping an eye on them too," yanfei tells xiao and the hope in your chest dies. sure, you emitted some weird 'energy' or whatever the hell they were saying, but you weren't about to inherit some super cool powers or actually have something to flex to people. instead, you just had some worn-out old 'energy' that seemed to only make adepti wary of you. great.

"what energy?" you finally asked, confused, and both of the adepti's attention snaps back to you. xiao's gaze trails over to yanfei as he shrugs his shoulders at her, expecting her to answer. she lets out a huff and clears her throat.

"strictly speaking, you emit an energy that likely only adepti can detect, considering keqing, kaeya, and childe have never pointed it out to you. i highly doubt it is anything you can manipulate, but it appears to be a calming energy of sorts," yanfei explains, yet it only serves to raise even more questions. but now isn't the time to get your answers for those types of questions. instead, you send a bewildered expression at xiao.

"you were going to kill me because my presence is calming?!" you snap. respect for the adepti be damned, you no longer cared about any of that mythology crap at the moment. you were just irate that xiao had pointed his weapon at you over something so trivial. xiao looks startled at your accusation, yet yanfei cuts him off with a laugh.

"you haven't changed at all, huh, xiao?" yanfei asks, yet her voice is much softer this time. "it is good to see you."

xiao's eyes narrow at her before his posture relaxes. "likewise," he mutters, but you're not entirely sure if he's telling the truth or if it's just a formality. silence settles between the six of you and it does nothing but answer your question. the immortal green dude was really going to kill you over being a walking anti-anxiety medication. archons, the illuminated beasts aren't as cool as you thought they were.

"i do not trust you," xiao snaps at you, breaking the silence, and you bite back a sigh of frustration.

"okay?" you ask, absolutely baffled by the situation. what the hell were you supposed to do about that? his weapon was no longer pointed at you.

"(y/n) is trustworthy," yanfei says, glaring at xiao. "if you want to know more, then why don't you come stay with us in liyue harbor?"

us? you think, wondering what the hell yanfei is getting you into. i'm not trustworthy? you're the one who was lying about being an adeptus this whole time!

"'us'?" kaeya finally speaks up, ignoring the warning glare he receives from keqing because of it. "we don't all live together, yanfei, you're going to have to be more specific than that."

"he can stay with (y/n)!" yanfei chirps and you feel your soul die inside a little. "(y/n) has a spare bedroom they were looking to rent out in their apartment, right? i'll pay xiao's rent and he can stay with them!"

"yanfei," keqing begins, voice cautious. "he just threatened to kill them."

"yeah, yeah, that's just him being a grumpy old adeptus!" yanfei says and you can only watch in shock as yanfei offers up your own place on your behalf to an adeptus. an adeptus. slowly, your childlike wonder begins to creep back into your brain, clouding your judgement. sure, he seemed grumpy, but this was one of the mythological beings you had been wondering about for years. besides, you still trusted yanfei enough to know that she wouldn't just throw some adeptus into your apartment if he would kill you in your sleep. sure, you had questions for her, but..? would xiao smite you if you refused?

you part your lips to speak, but xiao's response to yanfei's proposal shocks you back into silence.

"sure. i will accompany you to liyue harbor," xiao says.

great. you think. i can't just pester yanfei for answers instead?

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[sebstanseabass]

Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 9

Afterglow chapters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

CHAPTER NINE

For the first time in your life, you awoke in your own pool of sweat and with the fresh thoughts of Bucky as he managed to scoop you up with his strong lean arms and take you right then and there at the kitchen counter in your wild, vivid memory of dreams.

You blamed Nat for this. If it wasn't for her, you wouldn't even have inappropriate thoughts towards Bucky. Yes, you did notice his strong masculine exterior, jaw sharp as a killer's knife, body as strong as a boulder, and legs that could easily kill but did you have any thoughts on advancing towards him? No, absolutely not. He was Peter's stepbrother for crying out loud. But last night, something changed in the laws of physics. It was as if two resting bodies silently reacted to one another without a sudden force acting upon the two.

That morning, you didn't dare find out if Bucky was still in your apartment. You skipped your morning run and headed up towards the rooftop using the ladder right outside your window with a hot cup of coffee in your hand (which spilled a bit on the way up, by the way) and enjoyed the scent and sight of the dirtier part of New York City -- all its damp, cigarette covered pavements.

For the next few days, you saw no sign of Bucky. He hadn't been in the bar or in your apartment, as much as you wished he would stop by once in a while. But then, you would hear Peter talk to him on the phone every single night.

You never thought Bucky's lack of presence would start to bother you. It wasn't just the feelings of sudden desire you had for him but also the weird time you shared together -- as if you were just old friends catching up. You found it absolutely crazy how a lot of things just happened in the course of a day.

You wanted to ask Peter about Bucky's whereabouts, just a casual slip of "Hey, where's Bucky?" but you never dared to ask. So when Peter blabbed during a movie night that Bucky had been way too busy managing some business meetings, gatherings, and whatnots ever since he got back in the city, you were more than glad.

Nat had been coming to the bar every night ever since Tuesday, picking up extra shifts. She kept badgering you about Bucky this and Bucky that. She was one of the reasons why you couldn't keep Bucky out of your head. Her sudden long shifts at the bar wasn't only because she was so invested with your nonexistent dating life or, to her, a possibility of one with Bucky, but because she and Steve were secretly hooking up. Of course, she didn't tell you that. It's not like she needed to, anyway. It only took one sniff of Steve's strong scent on hers for you to find out.

Every passing day at the bar felt so slow and the same. The only thing that changed was Peter rejecting a drink on one Thursday night.

"Woah, what got your knickers on a twist?" You asked as soon as he approached the counter.

"I'm just not in the mood, y/n." He sighed. "Can I just have a glass of water, please?"

"Of course. Coming right up." You slid the glass of water on the counter towards him, your fingers drumming against the thick wood. "So, what's bothering you?"

He looked up at you with sulky eyes. "Oh god, you really are a bartender."

"And your best friend. So, what's up?"

He shook his head nothing, sipping the glass of water like a scotch.

His little act was unconvincing. Especially that he didn't try hard enough to conceal whatever he was feeling.

"Parker." You insisted. "Come on, what's up?"

"You see right through me, y/n."

"Don't flatter me too much," you rolled your eyes, "you're just easy to read."

But Peter was also stubborn as a bull. He wouldn't budge or give you any clue on what was bothering him. You thought that leaving him as you tended to other bargoers would eventually give him time to change his mind but you were proven wrong. It itched your brain that he wouldn't tell you whatever it was. You usually told each other everything. But then again, you haven't really been open with him with your growing desire for his stepbrother -- which, you hoped you never would, as you hoped all those feelings would eventually go away and keep it in a state of latency.

Peter stood by his ground, consuming no ounce of alcohol and keeping his mouth shut the rest of the night. You knew when to keep away from other people's business, even if it was your best friend's. You did try to make his evening lighter though, checking up on him and telling some old, classic bartender stories, seeing as he was clearly in an uncomfortable state but all he kept telling you was: "You're killing me, y/n. You're absolutely killing me."

You felt a heavy feeling on your chest with his surprisingly fierce tone. You urged him to go home after that, so he did.

"Dick." You mumbled after he left.

Nick walked towards the counter. "What's wrong with your roommate?"

"Wish I could tell you."

You and Nick have been getting along well despite you rejecting him. Nat kept telling you it was a way of manipulating you or some sort, to get you close to him but nothing has really happened ever since he asked you out. There wasn't a change in mood in the atmosphere, or even the way he treated you. Just some good colleagues working together.

The next night, Peter was more in the mood and even apologized to you for the way he behaved last night. "Now, for some great news."

"Does this mean you're having a drink?" You asked.

He nodded eagerly and patiently waited for his beer. Once he got his cold sip, he continued talking: "So, I've been really in a slump lately because I'm kind of lovesick. But then -- "

"Wait, what did you say?" You knitted your brows together, catching the last word he said. "Did you say lovesick? You son of a bitch, are you in love?"

"Language!" Out of nowhere, Steve yelled over the buzzing noises inside the bar. You snickered and he just gave you a look before he disappeared back into his office.

He is such a grandpa.

Peter chuckled. "To be honest, I have been for a very long time."

Your jaw dropped on the floor, ears all perked up, wanting to hear every detail of this. "And you never thought to tell me? Parker, I've been your best friend since forever. Why the hell wouldn't you tell me?"

"Because..." He trailed off, avoiding your stare. "It's not that big a deal."

"Okay, was this after that bitch Denise?"

"Actually, waaaay before that."

"Oh wow, that long, huh?" You replied. "Oh my god, is it someone we know from college? Shit, is it MJ?"

"No, it's not!" He replied. "And I'm not telling you who because I don't have actual plans on pursuing her." He sighed through his nose while taking a big sip of his beer. He brought down the bottle on the counter with a loud thud.

"So, it's a girl."

He grunted in reply.

You laughed. "So, why not pursue her?" You asked while multitasking. You handed a bowl of peanuts to the man beside Peter who was asking for it. "Is she taken? Does she have a boyfriend? A girlfriend?"

"No, she doesn't."

"So, why the hell not, Parker?"

You impatiently waited for an answer from Peter as it took him a couple of minutes to do so.

"Because I don't think it's a good idea. I don't think it will ever work." He answered, scratching the label on his beer bottle with much frustration. "I've thought about all the probabilities, but every single one of them ends the same."

"And what is that?"

"That it won't work out."

The thing about Peter was he never dive into things headfirst. Even though he was a dumbass, he was always a man of intellect who calculated everything in his head before committing to something.

"Why is it always statistics and probabilities and all that crap with you?" You let out an exasperated sigh. "What if for once in your life, follow your goddamn heart? You keep treating everything with a business mind. Go with what your gut tells you to do. Don't think too much about it because the heart wants what it wants, Parker."

Peter gazed at you for a few moments, perhaps finding the right words to say but he just shook his head and fought against his feelings. "I can't do it, y/n. I badly want to, like, it's already at the tip of my tongue. I badly want to tell her but I can't. I don't want to know what's gonna happen next. I'm just scared of what's gonna happen. I don't think I can take it."

As much as you wanted to convince him to go for the girl, you let it go. You've said what you had to say but it was always up to him whether he takes your advice or not. "So, what now?"

"Well now, I'm going to tell you the good news, the one you robbed me off when you batted in."

You rolled your eyes. "What's the good news, Parker?"

"Me and my colleagues will go on a corporate retreat for at least a week!"

You raised an eyebrow, writing a confused expression on your face. "How is this good news?"

"I'll be gone for a week, away from the city, away from my love problems and all that. I think it'll be good for me." Then, a smile started to form on his lips. "There, I'll leave all my worries behind."

"Parker, it's just a one-week corporate retreat, not a sabbatical." You grimaced, unimpressed with the whole thing. "You're not gonna get over this thing in just seven days."

"You don't know that." He scoffed. "I'll be a new man once I get back. You'll see."

"Sure." You replied, a hint of sarcasm laced in your tone.

"Oh, one more thing!"

"What, another corporate retreat?" You snickered, amused with all the clever remarks you were throwing at him. Peter, on the other hand, wasn't.

"No!" He gave you a look. "Bucky will look after you while I'm gone!"

Shock crossed your face. "Bucky?"

"Yes, me."

And on cue, a figure emerged behind Peter.

You were so bewildered with Peter's troubles that you hadn't noticed Bucky creeping up towards the counter. He was wearing what seemed like a navy blue tailored Hugo Boss suit, paired with a nice, sleek tie. His whole fit, illuminated by the iridescent lights made his blue eyes pop even more. Like last time, he opened up a button on his waist, tossed the end flaps in the air and sat down beside Peter on a high stool.

Watching him, you could feel the air around you tighten, paired with a clump of saliva caught in your throat. He placed his elbow on top of the counter and tucked his chin on his palm.

"B-bucky," you finally breathed, silently choking up on your own saliva, "hey, it's been quite some time."

"Hello, doll." The vowels on his words seemed to drop, accompanied by that rhythmic sound he usually does when he speaks. Oh god, one day with Bucky and I've already picked up on that, you thought. "Missed me?"

You felt some blood quickly rushing to your cheeks but you played it cool. "Don't flatter yourself, James." You pretended to get quite busy, wiping some clean glass off the counter then faced Peter. "So, what's this thing about Bucky looking after me?"

"Well, I'll be gone. You'll be alone. Bucky will look after you." Peter tried to "expound." "What's not adding up, y/n?"

You rolled your eyes at the two and scoffed, placing the glass on the counter. "No, thanks. It's just one week. I can take care of myself."

It was true. You once spent a two-week vacation all by yourself to California after high school and you came home in New Jersey without a scratch -- like a brand-new car. You walked around the place as if it was your turf, and blended in with the locals while basked in the glorious heat of the California sun.

"Bucky insisted." Peter chimed in defensively.

"Oh. Bucky insisted." You said, your gaze averting to Bucky's eyes. "Again, I appreciate the offer but I can handle myself. I'm not a baby."

Bucky, clearly amused with the whole situation, leaned back with careful eyes fixed on yours. "Come on, y/n, don't you want some company?"

"Aren't you busy with your company?" You retorted.

"Yes, I have been but not anymore." He replied. "Unless something comes up. A week without Peter must be somewhat lonely. Come on," he insisted once again, "it's also for me. It'll give me something to do for a week."

"Wait, what?"

"You guys could get to know each other better and get along!" Peter blurted. "And without me around, Bucky won't have someone to hangout with. Please, y/n? I'd feel so much better."

"Hang out? What are you guys, like sixteen?"

Your mind was still set on Bucky's last choice of words but you saved it for later.

"Pleaaaaseee?"

You sighed, knowing you could never refuse your best friend's pleas. "Fine."

"Great!"

"Just for the record," you said, holding up a finger, "I'm just agreeing because of Peter, not because I can't take care of myself."

Peter rolled his eyes while pulling out his phone from his pocket. "Yeah, yeah, you're an independent woman. Okay, I gotta take this call. I'll be right back."

And all then there were two: you and Bucky. While making two grasshoppers for a couple of girls who just entered, you could feel Bucky's intense stare towards you. Your mind, clouded with thoughts, wished it could tap into his and take a sly look at what was going on inside.

You locked eyes as soon as you handed the girls their drinks. Bucky wearing such a neat, tailored suit made you forget about all his child-like ways in Peter's countless stories. All you saw was a man favored by all the gods and at the same time sent by the devil to test you in so many ways imaginable. You wondered if he felt the same. Of course, you weren't like him or any other people carved perfectly by the gods, but his vehement stare said otherwise.

"Are you gonna order a drink?" You asked, breaking the silence, and also your train of thoughts.

"No." He replied. "I'm good."

"Okay."

Peter, where the hell are you?

"Hey, y/n?"

"Yes?"

"You look beautiful tonight."

A plain black tank top, paired with some old jeans, minimal makeup and this man just told you that you looked beautiful. "Well not just tonight. You've always been beautiful. I just hope you know that."

"Okay what has gotten into you? You're being... weird."

He shrugged. "I'm just stating facts."

You hummed, a look of confusion spread across your face. "Thank you, I guess. Y-you look good yourself. Very different from when I first met you." You chuckled.

"Well, I was naked the first time we met so yeah."

Peter got back from his phone call and for the whole night, you spent your time working your shift while Bucky and Peter moved on to play some billiards and darts as well. Nat kept shifting her eyes between you and Bucky and you just shrugged her off, flipping your middle finger on her in which she reciprocated.

The next day, Peter was all set for his corporate retreat, surprised he didn't need any help from me at all. You helped him with some of his bags towards the sidewalk ("Jesus, Parker, are you going out of the country?"). While you waited for his Uber to arrive.

"You better take care of yourself, Parker." You said, standing beside him on the side of the street. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Really? I'm gonna miss you too."

"Well, yeah, of course. You're like a little brother to me." You smiled, ruffling his brown locks even though he was taller than you.

He looked down on the pavement with a tight-lipped smile. "Right, right."

Smiling, you grabbed his hand and leaned your head on his surprisingly broad shoulders. "Come on, cheer up. You needed this, right?"

"Yes, I definitely do." He whispered. "More than you know."

A few seconds later, the Uber arrived. Before climbing in the black vehicle, you were pulled into Peter's embrace with a soft, fluttery kiss landing on your forehead. Taken aback, you just smiled at him and watched the car get tinier and tinier as it drove further.

You got back in the apartment and five minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Behind it was a smiling Bucky wearing some casual clothes. "Good morning, doll. Missed me?"

You rolled your eyes letting him inside the apartment. Closing the door behind me, you replied: "You've already used that line last night. Pick another one."

"Aw, you haven't heard the rest of it."

You went to the kitchen, grabbed some water from the fridge, and took a drink. "Which is?"

"Miss me, miss me, now you gotta kiss me."

With unsteady hands, you choked on your water and felt the liquid on your skin as soon as those words left Bucky's mouth. Great now I spilled the drink on my chest.

You turned around only to be faced by Bucky. "Now I gotta what?"

His laughter echoed in the kitchen as he backed away from you. "I'm just messing with you. So, what's for breakfast?"

He left you there standing flabbergasted, with some water dripping down your top and shorts, down to the floor. You bore your eyes into the back of his head as he turned on the television.

Bucky tilted his head towards you, eyed you up and down and finished it with a swipe of his tongue on his lower lip.

Oh, this was going to be a long week.

A long, agonizing week.

[babyminssii]

I've been thinking about this for hours... and made some decisions. For 5 years, I stomached the toxicity as a One Direction fan. You mentioned you also did, so you know what it was like. I stayed in the fandom because I kept saying 1D shouldn't have to suffer and be left with asinine fans because a section of their fanbase were unhinged. In the end that was not good for my mental state as I was always so angry every time I would engage online. However, the difference was that a loved 1D member was not getting death wished upon them for being close to Harry or Louis. A 1D member wasn't painted as a leaching whore who was trying to come between H and L by their own fans.

This BTS and moreso Taekook situation has me so disappointed and a bit heartbroken. When I became a BTS fan, it was such a lovely feeling. Fans were cool for the most part and BTS just seemed like 7 pups who loved each other dearly... just for me, 2 pups' bond stuck out even more lol I no longer feel good being a fan. I mentioned to you the other day that I know it's no fault to the group but unfortunately the hatred for one of it's members has gotten out of control and it seems not a damn thing will and can be done about it unless Hybe starts targeting accounts and unless twitter starts taking more responsibility for hate accounts. I love all 7 members. I truly do, and I wish them nothing but the best, but as Jimin biased, it kind of baffles me that why the two closest to him, are helping to fuel this frenzy. Now wait, I am not saying they should not be allowed to post pictures of each other. They're best friends. Of course, they are. But as the two who just the other week, had to see the awful comments being said during their vminkook vlive, I can't understand why they're just going full force feeding these rabid people in such a short amount of time. They have to be aware of what's happening. Maybe not to the full extent but some. No they're not responsible for awful human beings and their behavior but for me, if my friend and I knew that our other best friend would be getting hate loaded against them, I would upload content in a way where the Cujos weren't being fed when they're already attacking. Maybe I'm assuming too much and they don't know how awful it's been for Jimin but again, they've had to see some of the comments recently. For me, it just doesn't feel right. This isn't about whether Jungkook and Jimin are dating because frankly, I was 50/50 where that is concerned and only enjoyed their bond. To me it's like they've become tonedeaf and know about the hate comments but are shrugging about it in a "O well" type of way. That's a me perception and I could have it all wrong but that's how it's coming off to me and me being the empathetic person that I am, I wouldn't do anything knowing a loved one was going to get raked through the coals. I would post what I wanted but perhaps in times when things weren't so rabid. Yes most Taekookers are deeply troubled people and would send hate towards Jimin no matter what, but it's the timing that doesn't sit well with me. Sorry so long, I had a lot more to say than I thought lol

That said, I decided to delete all my BTS playlists on youtube, unfollowed BTS/Jikook accounts and did a BTS pictures cleanse on my phone and I noticed that although I am very sad to be moving on from a group I adored, I felt better after that somehow. Weird I know, but the heaviness of "what shit storm awaits now?" every time I logged on sm was lifted. I saw the Jikook content from Seasons Greetings and I didn't feel any type of way about it. I'm just done, you know what I mean? It might be extreme to some, even to 2014 me it would've seemed extreme to stop being a fan of a group because their fanbase. I was in the belief that hell would freeze over before I let internet assholes spoil my love for the group. By all means, if you can stomach the constant toxic bullshit and have somehow curated your sm where you don't see the crap, that's great. I hope more fans can do that. I however have already been there and done that and I will not do that again. For me this is no longer fun. Something feels not good being a BTS fan now. So everyone has to do what's best for them.

Alright you've probably fallen asleep half way through this novel or you're rolling your eyes deeply lmao Nobody cares about my BTS swan's song. I will end it here I promise 😂 Just want to say take care. You're so funny and made me laugh when I needed it some days. Happy holidays to you and your family if you celebrate Christmas and the upcoming New Year's and yeah stay safe and just thanks for being one of the cool ones. Maybe years from now, we'll meet up as fans in another group's fanbase LOL We both seem to end up liking the same groups (1D then BTS...? 👀) Anywho, bye for now

Don’t worry about the long ask anon :). So i’m glad you’ve made a decision that’s best for you. I do really understand all of your points and if at the end of the day leaving is what will make you feel better I don’t blame you.

Everything happening is really disappointing and heartbreaking for me as well, but as much as what i witness on the daily makes me sick, i just can’t bring myself to leave for the sake of jimin. No matter how toxic it is for him in this fandom, leaving him with the hyenas and dwindling support cause jimin biased fans keep giving up just doesn’t sit right with me. I feel like more than ever we just need to support him in anyway we can, so that we can try our best to drown out the horrible people on the internet.

Im actually pretty conflicted with this whole tk situation, because i do get what so many of you have been saying. It’s really frustrating to see them “feed” the shippers in a way, when i just can’t fathom that they don’t know how extreme it gets for jimin. But at the same time it’s super unrealistic and unfair to expect them to not interact at all because of shippers. I imagine jimin being so close to them also understands that as well. We went years without them really posting much with each other, and the toxicity against him only multiplied heavily each year. But at the end of the day they are a HUGE kpop group, they already have to monitor and sensor themselves 24/7 in public and then on top of that we expect 2 of the members to just not post with each other because their shippers are batsh*t crazy? The whole thing is extremely frustrating but i just don’t think that’s right. It’s a damned if they do, damned if they don’t situation and it probably feels like it’s better to ignore it and just do what they want. Really the only people that should actually be held accountable for all of this is hybe. Because they have the power to protect their artists and it really just seems like they don’t give a damn. They are super hella quick to protect their own pockets with copyright, but somehow when it comes to protecting the members (mainly jimin) against malicious attacks within the fandom, they move at snails pace or not at all. It’s really not acceptable when things for 1 of your artists are THIS extreme.

Now If i was to throw my 2 cents in here, i really think the big increase in interactions this week paired with tae mentioning the xmas song often just screams that something like a tk subunit is coming. But who knows. We really don’t know the reasons they’re moving headstrong with it right now, but im sure we will get more answers as time goes on.

I know you don’t understand why people real close to jimin would behave in a way that would feed the people that hate him, but we also have to remember who jimin is. He has mentioned that he knows who’s real and who’s not around him. He is smart enough to know when to cut toxic people out of his life, and the fact that he is still close to his members, or even the fact he is still close to tk, should tell you all you need to know about how he views them. We have to remember that the internet is not always a reflection of reality, and as someone who purposefully removed himself from it i’m sure jimin knows that too.

Anyways anon, im glad you’ve enjoyed your time on my blog while you’ve been here. It is funny we seem to be enjoying the same groups lol so who knows, maybe we will meet again :). I hope you have a safe and happy holidays as well! It’s been real.

[xuyaa]

Age gaps

Ahh... I dread this but I'll speak anyway. I keep seeing people have a problem with big age gap couple in fandom. Now before your nostrils all fluff up let me say this, if you can't have an open mind or too fragile for my input please take your leave. This would be wasted on you.

About age gap on fandoms couple (canon or crack) I personally have no problem as long as both parties consent (without child grooming or forced relationship aspect) and considered legal at the start of their relationship and the legality here is not referring to our modern standard but on the couple's world and time. I'll try to explain but it might get long and boring but if you're still okay, continue.

I'll give an example, during the age of samurai if the situation permits like Uesugi Kenshin they can join battle at age 13 and there are still other examples of other famous child samurai. We call it child now because time change but during that time they were considered an adult once they enter battlefield. Why? They already trained years prior to kill and to protect their lord. Example of this in anime would be Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. His first marriage was when he's around 16 and that was an acceptable age at that era since he was considered adult at age 14. So even though I find it icky if modern day teenager marry at that age, I can understand Kenshin's situation. If I'm still okay reading about him killing people around at even younger age I'm not gonna complain about him wanting to marry (although it's not that simple white and black for him).

You get what I'm trying to say?

More example of the acceptable norms in past era. During certain era in certain place like for example Victorian England and prior, 14 year old boys and 12 year old girls are passable for marriage depends on whether the family want it or not as it's more political than anything else. Same in China for example during the Manchurian Dynasty 14 year old girl is considered adult enough for marriage. And usually the age of the husband is always older by few years up to few decades (officials and emperor). But of course over time all of the above would change. Not by much maybe? Depend on the country I say.

Still we can't just hold the old days custom and norms on our modern day standard that would be akin to the present you calling your two or three year-old self a moron for defecating and not wiping your own ass. Or like when you do something stupid at your young age (pick whatever stupid situation that you have take as a lesson. Done?). You just didn't know better back then but now you do and from your failure you learn, although it would be better if you learn from other's lesson but I say pain is an effective lesson for oneself. Would you rather have that memories of your lesson be removed or ignored? I wouldn't. I don't know if I might do the stupid thing again just to find out whether I can or not. Same as this this whole age gap, young age marriage in the past and present in some customs thing. Don't erase the fact, don't gloss it over because people have and can still learn from them. My grandma married at young age and I came to be as the result of her choice.

Have you ever seen high schooler called Robert D Jr handsome? I've seen it recently on youtube. They call him very handsome and another video talked about cool and handsome senior male models. I've scrolled through the comments and no one seems offended that these high school girls simping for male old enough to be their granddad. These girls called them daddy and commenting how hot they are and the comments either agree or saying the girls reactions are cute. Huh... reverse the situation if these old models commenting female korean idol for example and calling them cute or hot what would people think? "creepy" "pedobear" even though senior female might think the same lines, heck maybe even we think the same lines. See the double standard people use? Maybe not everyone, but the loud ones are there. They're so loud I don't even know if they're majority or minority. I have celebrity crush too when I was young and as it happen, he's my father's age and to be frank, I would not mind an older partner if said partner is compatible and emotionaly mature. My sister is 17 years younger than her husband and they turn out well because her husband is matured enough to understand her ups and downs emotion back when they're dating, even before. Are all men mature emotionally as they became older then? No, just as not all oranges is sweet. My sister is 10 years my senior but she's more bratty than I am sometimes. Is it wrong of my bro in law to be with my sis?

Oh you're just trying to defend pedophilia anywayヽ(`Д´)ﾉ.

No stupid, I'm trying to make you think. I don't accept pedophilia, shotacon or lolicon. My sis is old enough to be called spinster when they go out. Anyway, when you follow a certain series, try to see it from their era and custom's perspective. Some era is okay with 16 year old marrying. Some tribes in Asia allow marriage between cousins while others and the majority of the world frown upon them. That's just how they see and do things. For me as long as both side consent without pressure and not in the case of 'parents sending their child for marriage without their input' thing I'm okay to leave that alone, I'm pretty much sure we're on the same page there. I hope.

So, just as when you come to another country, you adhere to their rules and norms or you have no right to complain if they deport you out for not learning beforehand and breaking their rules. Or when you have a guest come to your home and they suddenly start demanding you to do stuff their way, you should kick them out if not slapping their face. Or if you want to be kind, explain how you do things in your home and hoping they would understand and respect it.

I'm jumping around but see what I'm trying to say? I'll get to another anime example.

In Naruto for instance, they became genin at 12 and killing people left and right. People are okay with that right? Yeah well, since it was soo popular I suppose... besides it's pretty glossed over in both manga and anime. But the same people that's okay with children killing left and right, would they be okay if suddenly the mangaka put in story about one of the chara going on seduction mission? If it's carried out well as in the chara being bamf, maybe no problem. But if things went south for the chara? I'm sure there will be outrage, especially if that's a female chara or worse if it's one of the main like Sakura. See? People hold the characters, the series and the mangaka to their own convenient double standards. Back to the age gap when shipping, I pick Naruto as example because apparently Sakura was just so shippable that people actually ship her with Kakashi and even Madara and she makes easy example. Don't ask me why she's shipped with Madara and I don't ship any of the two with Sakura. Anyway, if Sakura is mature enough to choose to kill as a teenager (and don't give me crap about Sakura never killing on screen. Their line of work involves lots of death and she's been through war) she's mature enough to decide her romantic partner even if it's suddenly Orochimaru(ㆆ_ㆆ) (did they even exist?). You can say her taste is terrible because he's an asshole but don't say it's gross cause the age difference because apparently Orochimaru can just rejuvenated to new body and be as good as a babe (I wish I could too). Anyway saying it's about age on these kind of chara is just straight up lie on people's part. Another example I can think of atm is snk. I've seen people against pairing the 104th with the veterans because of age gap. Now I'm not trying to be rude, but hear me if you please. The whole 104th are trained child soldiers and they're killing titans and even humans. You're all okay with that? If you still follow the series far enough and liking it maybe you enjoy seeing the action sequence, drama and intrigue? The fact that you still come back to the series after this long proves that you're still okay with all the gores and blood spilled with all the glorious child soldier most of all. They become soldier because of circumstances you say? I'm glad you think so too! Although I must point out, the 104th did CHOOSE to be soldiers (just as Naruto and co choose to be ninja). They could be farmers or thugs for all we know. All the soldiers in snk choose their occupation, thay all trained and decide to join the Survey Corps, in fact the only one that join reluctantly in the first place is the former thug although he continues in the end. That aside, their circumstances certainly are different than us don't they? They don't even know a car and blip exist before Marley... They must have a whole lot of different mindset and norms than ours too for a civilization whose life are about survival against titans that's 100 years behind than other civilization in their world. Ever think of that?

Seeing modern day teenage in romantic lights are indeed hard as I'm sure the majority can't even survive without their gadget and parents' money. I certainly can't at that age. Immature. Even those in their twenties and thirties are immature these days. But now when one of those child soldier who have a whole lot of different mindset and maturity level is being shipped with older chara, you're against it. Okay. Maybe it's indeed easier for you to see 15 year olds regardless of their profession to commit act of violence and even kill than to love... (does that sounds okay to you?)

...I'm not saying killing mindlessly is alright because it is NOT. But that would need a whole lot different threads and time to spare and maybe someone else can do it or already done it before me.

But here's the good thing, even when the ship starts when they grow and at the modern legal age of 18 and 19, or even far above like centuries, it's still not okay for some people to ship them. I don't mind if it's your preference and you don't go disturbing other's corner when they don't even enforce their ship as words of god and even acknowledging that 'yes, maybe it's not canon and just our bits of fun' but sometimes it got to the point of belittling those who do ship age gap couple and treat them like a criminal in need of help or wishing them death. Seriously? Yes. People are that immature.

If you don't like a ship because you think your own is better, fine. Do your thing in your corner but don't go to other people's corner just to talk shit without even knowing why they ship what they ship. Most of this ship is just in our head in the end, and even if your ship is canon it does not make you any greater in real life.

I can't think of anything else to say now, but thanks for reading with open mind. ◝(⑅•ᴗ•⑅)◜..°♡

Now before anyone waste their time typing out comments, I refer to my first paragraph. Here's some imaginary flower for you all🌷

Apparently I'm not clear enough so I fix my wording. I'm here not defending minor and old people relationship but age gap couple who happen to be aged up to acceptable age despite their profession. Here's some choco🍫

[belletristwordsalad]

Unquieted Days

Leitmotif: “Alone in the Town” — Silent Hill 2 soundtrack

-:-

He should've known coming here would be a mistake.

When Makoto Itou went to the Nijou residence, he'd been certain that the eldest Nijou would commiserate with him, or at least lend a sympathetic ear. From one sex maniac to another, right? There was also the fact that despite said commonality—or perhaps because of it, them being too much alike—he'd never been attracted to her, nor she to him, so he wouldn't have to worry about her offering sex for solace, nor himself taking up said offer. That was the last thing he needed…

But instead of commiseration or a sympathetic ear, Makoto received quite the opposite. Once the young satyromaniac finished his woeful tale, the nymphomaniac across from him burst into laughter. Boisterous, table-pounding, doubling-over laughter, such that Makoto was surprised the windows hadn't shattered, that the cups of tea hadn't been upset. And thank goodness; there was too much upset in his life as it was.

After a few more fits in which the laughter would subside, only to renew itself, it seemed that Hanon was finally recomposing herself, wiping the tears that had fallen during the peals. "Oh man, that's hysterical! I've heard of two lovers finding out about each other, but two harems?! That could only happen to you, Itou!"

Indeed. In his libido, the young wanton found himself forming two collections of lovers, the former of whom knew nothing of the latter. Oh, he had every intention of coming clean, truly he had! He just… couldn't think of a good time to bring it up, that's all! What was wrong with a little fun in the meantime?

And anyway, who was Hanon Nijou, of all people, to laugh at his expense?

Another fit of such laughter, though mercifully brief and not as explosive. "I wish I had been there! That must've been something…!"

"Oh, shut up! Like that wouldn't happen to you!"

"Of course it wouldn't! D'you think I'm stupid?"

Makoto gave her a flat look. "Yes."

A snort. "Says the one lacking discretion…"

"Don't give me that! You're the one who's selling herself! You're even worse than me!"

Hanon's demeanor suddenly changed, shifting from libertine to something perverse in its own way. "Am I, Itou? I may be, as you say, selling myself, but I also know what I get myself into. I know what discretion is. Also, I don't make promises I can't keep. My hookups know that it's just sex. No commitment, none of that crap. You, on the other hand, feed your hookups sweet nothings, all while feeding yourself on them."

Makoto felt his temper flare. Why, you…!

Seeing that she had struck a nerve, Hanon's smirk deepened. "I think we both know who the worst person in this room is. And it isn't me."

Makoto's fists clenched. Just as he opened his mouth to retort, a loud pounding came from the front door.

"Nijou!"

"Get out here, you slut!"

Oh shit.

-:-

It had been close, but Makoto had miraculously made a clean getaway from the Nijou's. Had Katou or Kanroji caught sight of him sneaking out Nijou's kitchen window…

The dark-haired youth shook his head, then focused his gaze out the train window. The holidays were upon Sakakino, evidenced by the festoons of lights leading to the shopping center. The festivity continued when Makoto stepped off the train: snow falling from the sky, Christmas music ringing in the air, and trees and storefronts festooned yet more with bows and wreaths and lights. Even the town's mascots, Mayo-chan and Numakichi, were getting into the holiday spirit, clad in Santa gear and handing out flyers. And of course, no Sakakino holiday season would be complete without its crown jewel: the town square's Christmas tree, a grand specimen of pine that rivaled Rockefeller Center's tree with its cobweb of lights, tinsel, and baubles.

Seating himself on one of the retaining walls, Makoto took a deep breath, attempting to inspire some of that Christmas cheer. But at this moment, not even a whiff of festivity, no light of joy, could enter his being. Likely the greatest damper was the sight of couples milling around the square, which only served to remind the young wanton of how royally he'd fucked up.

Had he really been that hurtful to his lovers? Makoto had always thought that hurtfulness required intent, and he certainly hadn't meant to hurt any of them. But the looks on their faces… Sekai and Yuuki looked especially wounded with their teary eyes, and if looks could kill, Setsuna would have struck him down right then and there. Kotonoha had borne a look of pained bewilderment, while Roka and Chie had shot him disappointed glares before departing after the tearful Yuuki.

Nijou's cutting words dredged themselves back up. Had he really fed all of them "sweet nothings"? His words of love to each of them were genuine, weren't they…? But then, it was things unsaid that had caused this situation, wasn't it? He'd had yet to tell Kotonoha, Sekai, and Setsuna about Roka and the Ashikaga siblings, so they likely thought they were his only lovers. And Roka and the Ashikaga must've assumed that he had told the first harem about them.

Sweet nothings, indeed.

Makoto's brow furrowed. Why was he letting that nympho's words bother him so much? Who was she to tell him that he was the worst? Wasn't she the one fucking around with men who were already spoken for?! But then, those men knew what to expect, didn't they? Just a night of fun, for a price, of course. No strings attached (apart from cuckqueans like poor Kanroji, not that that bothered Nijou).

He, on the other hand, had allowed strings to be attached, had gotten himself and others ensnared. Oh, what a tangled web…

All the same, he loved them, didn't he? Contrary to what Nijou thought, they weren't just "hookups" for him! But then, why did he keep taking lover after lover after lover, all simultaneously? Why couldn't he be satisfied with just one person's love? That had to mean that something was deeply wrong with him, almost like—

Furiously, Makoto ran his hands through his hair. "Dammit all!" He got up and made for the subway, but so wallowed was he in his misery that he failed to notice the patch of ice in his way. Fuck! Fuck my life!

"Sempai! Are you alright?"

He looked up and saw Karen and the Nijou twins. Great. Just fucking great. "I'm fine! Leave me alone!" His already bruised pride now smarting, he smacked away Karen's helping hand before snatching his cellphone out of Futaba's reach and stalking back to the subway.

On reflex, he nearly flipped it open, only to stop himself. Before going to the Nijou's, he'd turned his cellphone off, not wanting anyone to call him while he sought commiseration.

Considering his current mood, Makoto decided to leave it turned off.

-:-

Once Yuuki's breathing steadied and his body no longer wracked with sobs, Roka gingerly laid the bespectacled boy onto his bed, removing his glasses and tenderly brushing away the tearstains.

To say that tonight was a disaster would be an understatement. Makoto had invited her and the Ashikaga siblings over to his place for a night of fun. It sounded like a good idea. Winter break had just begun, and Makoto wasn't expecting his little sister or anyone else.

Enter Katsura, Saionji, and Kiyoura.

Yuuki had been particularly despondent on the train ride home, sobbing angrily, “How could he…! Why? Why…?!” Roka didn’t dispute that—Makoto, you fuckhead!—but the younger Ashikaga was in no state for commiseration, and thus Roka had had no choice but to simply hold him until he cried himself to sleep.

With one last pitying look at the sleeping boy, the pigtailed girl softly closed the bedroom door and made her way to the balcony, where her sempai leaned against the railing, cigarette in hand. To Roka, the fact that Chie was smoking outside spoke volumes. Normally, the older Ashikaga wasn't so courteous to her younger brother, often smoking in his room precisely because of how irritating he found it.

But now, for Sempai to give Yuuki such courtesy…

Roka let out a sigh, her fogging breath a near replica of Chie's smoke. Her thoughts having shifted from one Ashikaga sibling to the other, the pigtailed girl turned to her sempai, deriving what comfort she could from the familiar sight of Chie's nicotine respiration. Aware though she was of the habit's unhealthiness—as well as Yuuki's adamant disapproval of it—Roka couldn't help but admire how appealing her sempai made it. Sempai could make anything appealing, be it basketball or anything else…

She was suddenly brought out of her reverie by the sight of a fresh cigarette being offered to her by said sempai. Roka was about to refuse, but upon seeing the look in Chie's eyes, that attempted solidarity, the kohai accepted.

After tonight, she could use whatever stress relief she could get.

-:-

Makoto's mood was little better the next day, for he was still at a loss as to what to do about his entanglements. Even his usual methods of escapism were no help, evidenced by the headphones casually tossed aside and the erotica disarrayed on his bed and floor.

With more force than necessary, he tossed another of the latter against the wall before putting a hand to his forehead and sighing. If only he could get away from everything, just for a little bit. Maybe take up a room at Radish?

No. He’d have to explain things to Setsuna’s father and coworkers.

Crash at Inori’s?

No. He’d still have to explain things. That, and he didn’t want to risk his “super-friend” breaching the friend zone.

Go to Paris?

No. Kotonoha, Sekai, and Setsuna's mothers were all vacationing there...

With a frustrated sigh, the young man went to check his mail… and his blood chilled. Having come through the slot, a manila envelope addressed to him. The sender, Tomaru Sawagoe. Fuck my life. At first, Makoto considered just tearing up the envelope, but curiosity got the better of him, and so, he brought it to his living room.

At the coffee table, the young man emptied the envelope of its contents, which consisted of a handwritten letter and what appeared to be a plane ticket and a sightseeing brochure. Now thoroughly intrigued, he began to read his father's letter:

Makoto,

How have you and your little flings been doing? Not as wild as mine, I bet. Maybe we should have a swingers' party. Or would that be too wild for you? You took far too much after your mother; you're probably as boring as she was.

But enough about that.

Consider this my Christmas gift to you, a sort of father-son thing.

I'll be waiting in Silent Hill. Make this ticket count, boy. I spared no expense.

-Tomaru Sawagoe

P.S. Itaru-chan sends her regards.

Makoto's expression flattened as he crumpled the letter. Well, fuck you, too, asshole. As for the other contents, it was indeed a sightseeing brochure for a "Silent Hill", though the plane ticket was for an Ashfield, Maine. For a moment, he considered crumpling them up as well, then thought better of it.

He uncrumpled the letter, then wrote the following on the other side:

Mom,

Went to see Dad. Be back soon.

-Makoto

An hour or so later, Makoto locked the door behind him, and made a beeline for the train station.

-:-

She just couldn't take it anymore.

Sekai had never been one to sit idle, and this was especially true after last night's fiasco. How could Makoto do that to her, to Kotonoha and Setsuna?!

She had followed Setsuna's advice, had waited what she felt was enough time for things to cool down. Now, after waiting and waiting for that fuckwit to call, she'd decided to take matters into her own hands and was now on a train to Higashi-Harami. Her call went straight to Makoto's voicemail for the umpteenth time.

Dammit, Makoto! Pick up…!

From the opposite direction, another train came, en route to Narita. Had Sekai chosen this moment to turn around, she would've seen, if only for a split-second, the headphone-clad ears of he who had tuned her out, in every possible way.

-:-

However narrowly and successfully he’d evaded Sekai, Makoto hadn’t gone completely unnoticed.

In the next car over, Ai gently nudged her companion. “Kuroda-san… isn’t that Makoto?”

The ring-haired girl looked over. Sure enough, there Itou was, the perv. Honestly, she couldn’t understand what Sekai saw in him. Then again, he was a saint compared to Sawanaga…

Hikari scowled. “Don’t tell me you’re still hung up on him, Yamagata.”

The bespectacled girl grew flustered. “I… I’m not! But… it looks like something’s wrong…” Even from the next car over, Ai could see the furrow of her classmate’s brow.

Hikari could see it, too. Itou looked almost… guilty. Like getting-a-girl-in-trouble guilty…

Eventually, the train stopped at Sakakino-cho Station. When the girls got off, Ai noticed that Makoto hadn’t. “I thought he’d be Christmas shopping, too, but…”

Hikari sighed at the pensiveness in the other girl’s voice. “Who cares about him, Yamagata?! Let’s go!”

Ai groaned at being tugged around once again.

-:-

Canned coffee in hand, Makoto decided to take a closer look at the Silent Hill brochure while waiting for his flight to be called.

Welcome to Silent Hill!

Silent Hill, a quiet little lakeside resort town. We're happy to have you. Take some time out of your busy schedules and enjoy a nice restful vacation here.

(Here, Makoto couldn't withhold a snort. "Restful vacation"? It would be, if that bastard wasn't involved…)

Row after row of quaint old houses, a gorgeous mountain landscape, and a lake which shows different sides of its beauty with the passing of the day, from sunrise to sunset.

Silent Hill will move you and fill you with a feeling of deep peace. We hope your time here will be pleasant and your memories will last forever.

In other words, some backwater town that couldn't be bothered to have its own airport. Figured his old man would send him somewhere out of the way for shits and giggles. Makoto's frustration might have been abated had he used his cellphone to look up how to get to Silent Hill from Ashfield, but that would require turning on the device, which in turn might have enabled any of them to call him. Especially Sekai. No need to open that can of worms.

He would give Silent Hill this much: it would likely provide the peace of mind he needed to unravel his tangled web, at least more than staying here would. More presciently, it would surely help him weed out the root of all his problems, for who else could he blame but Tomaru Sawagoe for his libido?

Like father, like son, right?

Eventually, his flight was called.

This is insane, Makoto. Here you are, about to fly halfway around the world, all by yourself, to see a man you couldn't care less about and who couldn't care less about you!

Ever practiced at tuning things out, Makoto did so again to that nagging voice in his head as he took his seat.

Are you really that desperate to run away from your problems?!

The headphones were back on. Yes. Yes, he was.

-:-

When beeping from Sekai's cellphone startled her, she saw that the sky had darkened, and not just from the snow-laden clouds. Damn. Must've dozed off…

When she checked her cellphone, she saw that the text wasn't from Makoto, as she had hoped, but from Setsuna.

Sekai. Please come home. Kotopi and I are worried about you.

You've been gone long enough. This isn't good for you. For either of you.

(Here, Sekai paused, and, with her free hand, rubbed her flat, jacketed belly tenderly.)

Go back tomorrow.

With a huff, Sekai closed her phone and stood back up, brushing away the tears that were starting to fall. Fine.

She gave Makoto's door a hard kick.

If this was how that fuckwit was gonna be, he was definitely getting that much more an earful from her when next they met.

-:-

Well, the impossible has happened. I, BelletristWordSalad, have written a crossover, and a non-Naruto one, no less! Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

School Days © 0verflow Silent Hill © Konami Silent Days, this story © me

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Hurts So Bad... (Part 2)

-

Invisible or Blind?

Masterlist

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: For the first time, Peter Parker meets someone he has no idea how to save...

Warning: angst(obviously), mentions of suicide, depression, self-harm...

Sorry it's so late😬

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The days after big drops in your depression were always the cleanup days. The realization days.

The 'wow. i really am fucked up, aren't i?' days.

You cleaned your cuts carefully. You picked out a jacket to wear for the day and an extra long sleeved shirt to switch into just in case you have to take off your jacket for any reason.

It was April.

It sucked, but these were the precautions you had to take when you cut yourself.

Because you weren't one of those people that just let your problems be known to the world. You didn't need the judgement. The silent stares. The "concerned" teachers. None of it.

You desperately wanted your terrible thoughts and feelings to be over, however you didn't want help. How you expected it to end, you didn't know. You knew it wasn't just going to magically go away, but you had no idea what it was going to take to get rid of it.

After all, you didn't even know how it started. So how could you possibly know how you could end it?

There was one thing you knew for sure though;

You'd brought this upon yourself.

-

Spider-man was Peter Parker when he'd met you officially.

He truly hadn't realized how many classes he had with you until now. It was insane.

You were in his homeroom and his chemistry class on some days. And his American history class and gym class in others. It really made him wonder, was he that caught up in his own life or were you just that invisible?

You didn't exactly shy away from the spotlight or hide behind anyone. Yet somehow you just managed to be another face in the crowd. He was sure that if he were in a room with just you and no one else he probably still wouldn't notice.

The only thing he truly recognized about you was your best friend; Cecilia Gulliver.

She was one of those girls in school that you couldn't miss. Always a story going around about her.

Supposedly she was rich. Or at least fairly wealthy. She got along with everyone. Always giving and never taking. One of those "sunshine" girls. Always with a smile on her face.

He'd watched her with you at lunch.

She brought a lunchbox and offered some of her chips when she noticed you hadn't touched your food. Peter watched as you shook your head and said no. When she asked you what was wrong, you mumbled a small "nothing" before you placed your head down on the lunch table. Semi-comforting, she laid her hand on your shoulders and patted lightly before joyfully continuing her conversation with the rest of her friends at the table.

"That's it?," Peter mumbled to himself from his table.

His best friend, Ned, turned, his mouth full from eating his sandwich. "Huh? What's it?"

"Nothing..."

He watched her with you in Chemistry.

For an assignment, everyone had to pair up.

After asking you once again if you were okay (to which you responded that you were even though it was obvious that you weren't), Cecilia left to find a partner. Perhaps one that was willing to actually hold a conversation with her.

Being that you never left your seat, you hadn't found a partner. The teacher partnered you with Flash Thompson.

Peter's jaw clenched and his grip tightened on his pencil as he attempted to do his work. It wasn't even the Flash part that bothered him.

This wasn't what you needed. It angered Peter just sitting there thinking about it.

You didn't need to be checked on once and then left to suffer alone by someone that was more than capable to help you. Didn't she see you were struggling? It made him wonder if she even knew? Or was Spiderman the only person who'd found out?

But there was one thing that rang true, this Cecilia girl definitely needed to check her priorities.

That night, he swung by your house again. First, to see if you were hurting yourself again. Secondly, simply to just see how your home life was.

Peter knew it was sort of creepy, but he really couldn't bring himself to care.

Looking through windows and using his super hearing, he silently observed you sitting in your room.

Your mother walked in. "Did you finish your homework?"

"Yes ma'am." You sighed, staring listlessly at the designs of the blanket on your bed.

Your mom noticed, a small frown sneaking onto her face. "Did you take your vitamins this morning?," she asked?

"Yes," you replied.

"Well... take two instead of one tonight." With that, she left.

The second the door closed, you rolled your eyes. "Like, they actually do anything..."

Peter frowned, shaking his head slightly. "Hmm.." He paused for a second before swinging over to the next window.

A man sat in this room, watching tv. Peter watched as your mother walked in.

"She's doing it again," your mother mumbled.

"Doing what?"

"Falling into that mood," she answered. "I told her to take some more of those serotonin vitamins."

Your dad scoffed. "If you really think she's actually depressed, why not just get her actual antidepressants? 'Stead of that crap you get from the herb shop."

"Because our daughter's not depressed," she snapped back. "Everyone gets sad. Strong people come back from it."

"Okay," your dad said, rolling his eyes, wanting to just be done with the conversation.

"That's it? Just an 'okay'?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you not care about our daughter?! She's struggling and here you are just watching your game and-"

Peter scoffed before swinging back to your room.

Were your parents insane or just plain stupid? Your mother screaming at your father for not caring even though she's actively ignoring your issues? And your father obviously sees something wrong with it, but is too nonchalant to say anything?

It was so foreign to Peter. The whole situation.

You. Your family. Everything about this. And he'd only seen minutes of it.

Needing to clear his head, he took one last glance at you sulking on your bed before going home.

-

He hated to admit it to himself, but it wasn't until it really started to affect him Peter actually started to do something about it.

He'd look into your house of course, to make sure you weren't harming yourself. But he went for at least a solid week before it became too much for him to just push aside and wish it would just go away.

Until he couldn't eat without thinking about how you probably weren't eating.

Couldn't fall asleep as quickly anymore because he was up thinking about how you probably weren't sleeping.

Couldn't even dress himself or work out without looking at his arms and thinking about all of the ways you had your way with yours.

Until he just couldn't ignore it anymore.

See, the thing about learning something about someone, whether if it's about a heavy topic or light, is that once you do, it makes it so much easier to start noticing the small things they do because of it. And it feels satisfying when you notice those things because now you don't have to wonder 'why' about it because now you have context.

Like finding out that someone likes someone else, and then noticing that they blush when that person walks into a room or that they stutter when they speak to them, and knowing that they do that because they have a crush on them.

Or finding out that two people are related, and then all of a sudden start seeing all of the small resemblances.

But it's a different kind of feeling you feel when what you've learned about someone is like what Peter learned that night before.

He couldn't ignore it, no matter how hard he tried.

Suicide? Self-harm? Regardless of what anyone says, those topics are heavy. And they don't just go away.

Anyone who might've paid any attention to you, could be suspicious. But Peter knew for sure. He knew what was under those sleeves. He knew the pain behind those eyes.

But he couldn't say anything.

He was just Peter Parker now, not Spiderman anymore. He'd never even spoken to you before. How would you react to some stranger all of a sudden having some big interest in you?

But he couldn't leave it alone. He couldn't leave you alone.

He'd seen what you'd done to yourself. He'd seen what your "loved ones" did about it.

And he wasn't going to stand by and watch it happen anymore.

'With great power comes great responsibility...'

When he saw you sweating in gym class, so close to the point of passing out because of the long sleeved undershirt you wore to hide everything, right as the coach announced that the class would be playing dodgeball, he decided;

If he couldn't talk to you, he could at least protect you... even from a distance.

His senses focused intensely as a ball went hurling right towards you...

-

For you, it was a particularly crappy day. Everything seemed to annoy you. You had to eat the school's breakfast because your mom hadn't bought cereal, you were hot as hell with your stupid jackets on, and you could tell you were annoying your friend with your sour mood.

And just now, on top of all that, some idiotic ball-hog guy in your gym class kept jumping in front of you...

Taglist - @eridanuswave, @pastelbunny1501, @jules-and-gemss,

[dukereviewsxtra]

Duke Reviews Xtra: Geppetto

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Xtra Where We Are Continuing Our Duke Reviews Look At Disney...

Where If You've Been On The Duke Reviews Tumblr, You'll Know That I Just Reviewed Pinocchio And Since I Can't Review Everything Disney On The Duke Reviews Or Duke Reviews TV Tumblr (Though On Duke Reviews I'm Sure Going To Try)...

I May As Well Review The Stuff I Can't Review On Either One Of Those Tumblr's Here So On Today's Show We're Reviewing Geppetto...

When This Tv Film Came Out I Was Excited For It Because Unlike Other People Who Thought "Who Gives A Crap About Geppetto?" And Didn't Watch It I Actually Wondered If There Was More To The Character Than Just Kindly Wood-Carver Who Makes Toys And Wants A Kid...

Did I Get It? Let's Find Out As We Watch Geppetto...

Our Story Starts In The Village Of Villagio...

Which Despite How It Sounds Is Not A Sex Act...

Where The Children In Town Are Very Excited As The Toy Maker, Geppetto (Played By Drew Carey)...

And Let's Talk About This Really Quick So I Can Continue Talking About The Movie, I Don't Mind Drew Carey As Geppetto...

Sure, He's Not Old, Sure, He's Not Elderly, Sure, He Doesn't Pull Off An Italian Accent And Yes, He Is Miscast But He Does Have A Good Singing Voice And Carey Is Trying His Hardest With The Role So I Got To Give Him Credit...

Anyway, As I Was Saying The Children Of The Town Are Very Excited As The Toy Maker Geppetto Has Finished Making His New Toys That He Made After Gathering Wood Over The Summer...

Which Leads To The First Song Of The Movie, Toys...

(Start At 0:42)

And For A Beginning Song It's Good But It Doesn't Really Pull You Into The Story Like A Musical Should But Drew Carey's Verses In It Are Pretty Good So I Guess I Can't Complain...

After The Last Of The Children Go Home, Geppetto Works On A Puppet Named Pinocchio Before Going Into Our Next Song Called An Empty Heart As He Gets Ready For Bed..,

Sorry, There Was No Clip For It...

And Despite People Complaining That Because Drew Carey's Performance Has No Emotion The Song Has No Emotion, I Find That To Be Bullshit, Carey Does Well With The Song And I Honestly Like It...

But All Is Not Quiet In Geppetto's Workshop As The Blue Fairy (Played By Princess Atta) Drops By To Grant Geppetto's Wish Of Making Pinocchio A Real Boy...

However, Having Alot Of Questions, (And Why Wouldn't He) Pinocchio Keeps Geppetto Up All Night...

But A New Day Lead To Our Next Song Called And Son, As Geppetto Looks To The Future With Pinocchio Only For Problems To Happen Along The Way...

(Start At 0:31)

And While The Song Is Cute And There's Nothing Inherently Bad About It, It's Just Not My Favorite Song In The Entire Musical...

So, By The 4th Day, Geppetto Has Lost All Patience And Sees Sending Pinocchio To School As His Last Hope, But Even That Goes Wrong When A Misunderstanding Of Something Geppetto Said Leads Pinocchio To Get Into A Fight With A Young Kelvin Timeline Chekov...

And Yes, I Know I Shouldn't Make Fun Of Anton Yelchin Because Of How He Died But It Was Too Easy To Make A Star Trek Reference...

And Speaking Of Star Trek, After Geppetto And Pinocchio Leave The School, They Run Into Stromboli (Played By Data) Who Takes An Interest In Pinocchio And Wants Him In His Show Despite Geppetto Saying No...

Returning Home, Geppetto Is Mad At Pinocchio For Getting Into The Fight At School Starting A Fight Which Fractures Father And Son And Leads Geppetto To Go Find The Blue Fairy As He Believes Pinocchio's Defective...

Eventually Finding The Blue Fairy She Basically Tells Him "Hey, You Wanted A Kid, It's Your Problem Pal" As She Sings The Next Song Just Because It's Magic"...

(Start At 1:32)

And While I Like The Choreography In The Song, It's Again Not One Of My Favorites...

Returning Home, Geppetto Finds That Pinocchio Has Runaway From Home As Left A Note Saying That He's Joining Stromboli's Puppet Show...

Thinking That Maybe It's For The Best, Geppetto Goes Down To Stromboli's Show Where We Get Pinocchio Singing I've Got No Strings...

But After The Show We Discover That Stromboli's Not A Great Father Figure As He Keeps Pinocchio Locked In A Box....

Hiding Pinocchio As Geppetto Goes Backstage To Give Him Some Of Pinocchio's Things, Stromboli Tells Geppetto That It Was Just A One Night Show Before Pinocchio Left For The Big City To Seek Fame And Fortune...

Upset That Stromboli Did This, Stromboli Points Geppetto In The Direction Pinocchio "Went" Before He Goes Backstage Again To Get Pinocchio Only To Discover That He's Escaped His Cage And Has Boarded A Carriage For Pleasure Island...

Angry Over Losing His Meal Ticket, Stromboli Packs Up To Go After Him Which Leads Into Our Next Song, Bravo, Stromboli...

(Start At 0:43)

And This Is Honestly One Of My Favorite Songs In This Musical...

It's Like Brent Spiner Took All The Pent Up Wackiness He Had Inside After Playing A Robot on Star Trek The Next Generation And The Movies And Let All Out In This One Song And It Works...

Meanwhile, Geppetto Runs Into The Blue Fairy Who After The First Reprise Of Just Because It's Magic Decides "This Idiot Wants Magic, Fine, I'll Give Him Magic To Show Him What I'm Trying To Tell Him"

So, Using Her Magic, The Blue Fairy Introduces Geppetto To The Great Lazardo (Played By Wayne Brady) Who Is A Bad Magician But Is Only A Magician Because It's What His Father Wanted Him To ...

Sound Familiar?

But Seeing That Lazardo Is Great At Making Toys, Geppetto Suggests That He Become A Toy Maker Which Leads To A Reprise Of Toys Before Geppetto Continues His Journey Deciding That "Ok, Pinocchio Doesn't Have To Become A Toy Maker"...

Finding His Way To The Town Of Idyllia, Where We Get A When You Wish Upon A Star Reference...

Yeah, We Kind Of Heard It Earlier Too When Pinocchio Was Brought To Life But I Don't Really Count That

Before Geppetto Meets Professor Buonragazzo (Played By Paul From Boston Legal R.I.P. René Auberjonois) And His Son Who Have Made A Machine That Makes Perfect Children That Obey And Do Everything They're Parents Tell Them To Do...

Again, Sound Familiar?

Which Leads Into Our Next Song, Satisfaction Guaranteed...

And...It's Okay..

While I Do Like The Song And I Like The Choreography In It, It Just Raises Too Many Questions As Val Kilmer Batman Would Put It...

Freaked Out By What He Sees, Geppetto Realizes That He Doesn't Want A Child THAT Perfect...

Running Into The Blue Fairy Again...

Ok, She's Quickly Turning Into The Cheshire Cat Of This Movie...

We Get Another Reprise Of Just Because It's Magic Where She Tells Geppetto That Pinocchio Is Headed For Pleasure Island And That Not Only Did Stromboli Screw Him But He's After Pinocchio Too...

Transitioning Into Pleasure Island We Get The Best Song In This Musical Sung By Usher...

(Start At 0:08)

In A Scene That Some People Say Is Lazy But I Say Is Just Saving Time And Money As It Is A Television Movie, Through Pictures We See Geppetto Go After The Donkey Pinocchio On A Boat Only To Be Attacked By Monstro...

Seeing His Father In Danger, The Donkey Pinocchio Jumps Overboard Only For Him And Geppetto To Get Eaten By The Whale...

Finding Pinocchio Who Has Been Turned Into Himself Again, Citing That The Donkey Magic Must Have Washed Off...

Despite Me, Seeing It As Pinocchio's Sacrifice To Save His Father Allowed Him To Become Himself Again...

Apologizing With A Reprise Of And Son, Father And Son Make Up Which Leads Them To Find A Way Out By Deciding To Tickle Monstro's Uvula With Pinocchio's Nose Which He Lies To Make Grow So Monstro Can Throw Them Up...

And All I Can Say About This Is That Tony Goldmark Has A Dirty Mind...And If You've Seen His Review On This With Emily Clark You'll Know Why...

Returning To Their Home In Villagio, Geppetto And Pinocchio Are Confronted By Stromboli, Who Has Come To Take Pinocchio From Geppetto As He Has A Contact With Him That's Iron Clad...

Which Leads Us Into The Final Song, Since I Gave My Heart Away And It's Very Touching...

(Start At 0:23, End At 6:47)

So, That's Geppetto And...It's A Mixed Bag...

While The Beginning Of The Movie Isn't That Great It Makes Up For It In Both The Middle And The End, And Yes, While Drew Carey Is A Bit Miscast In This, He Still Isn't That Bad Of A Singer But The People That Steal This Movie Is Brent Spiner And Usher As They Both Have 2 Of The Best Songs In This...

However, If There's Anyone That's Really Bad In This Then It's Julia Louis Dreyfuss, With The Way She's Talking I Can Barely Understand What She's Saying At Times Also I Got To Give Credit To Stephen Schwartz Who Wrote The Songs As Some Of Them Are Pretty Good...

All I Can Really Say Is Don't Believe The Haters And See This Movie, Just Skip The Very Beginning...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...