#I’ll most likely do a daily chapter update

[behindthesefangirleyes]

Nothing’s ever easy (to be honest, I’m not easy on myself)

By SilverShadow1

Will meant what he promised his mother. He wouldn’t wander off on his own again. But that doesn’t mean it’s not pressing in the back of his mind. The desire to return to the first place aside from Castle Byers where he felt truly at ease.

OR

The Party takes a summer road trip to Chicago.

Part 1 of The Chicago Series

[callsign-muffin]

Heal Together: Chapter 1

(Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw fic)

I've been lurking on here for a while, reading Top Gun fics and I recently got inspired to write one of my own. Hopefully someone reads it and likes it!

Note about the format: Between every header is a change in the point of view :)

Summery: When Rooster was med-evaced back to San Diego from the mission field, the last thing he expected was to wake up with a tube down his throat and the most beautiful woman he's ever seen at his bedside.

Masterlist

Word Count: 2.1k

“Hey Carly, I’m taking over for room 4 today. Are you ready to give report?” You ask the cute blonde night shift nurse, she looked about 12 years old. What in the hell was she doing in the ICU of a military hospital? Hell, you should be asking yourself the same question. You hated it here at this boys club where nurses were ignored as a female dominated profession, despite being the people who spend the most amount of time at the patient’s bedside in a 12 hour stretch. But you were only one week into this eight week travel assignment and the money was great, so you just had to grin and bear it and make as few enemies as possible.

“The census is low, is this gonna be your only patient?” She asked.

“Yeah.” You pulled out your report sheet and pen, “Let’s hope it stays that way.”

You could tell Carly was fresh off of orientation by how nervous she looked before beginning to speak.

“Hey,” You placed a comforting hand on her knee, “take your time, tell me what you know, and if I have any questions I’ll ask them when you’re done. You just finished a long shift, it’s okay to be a little out of it. We’ll get all the info we need together. No pressure, okay?”

“Okay,” Carly nodded and took a deep breath, “This is Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw, 35 year old male, full code, no known allergies…”

You quietly took down the pertinent information about Lt. Bradshaw as Carly spoke. He was a pilot, recovered after a crash, and was stitched back together pretty well on the aircraft carrier, he went septic and was transported back to the states to your hospital. Pretty standard stuff. He was currently on a ventilator for breathing support but all seemed to be going in a positive direction despite the shitty circumstances.

Carly finished her report with a sigh of relief, you had a feeling the staff nurses weren’t as respectful when receiving report from a new graduate. “Any questions?”

“Any family  at the bedside?” You asked.

“No, no family. Apparently a guy named Pete Mitchell calls daily for updates, they’re not related but he’s included on the patient’s medical information release forms, so we can talk to him. Chart says he’s single, no siblings, and both parents have passed away.” Carly yawned, she was beginning to fade after a long night. You didn’t want to hold her up anymore than necessary, she needed to get home and go to bed.

“Okay,” You clicked your pen, “Sounds good. Let’s go check lines and meds so you can get out of here.”

She paused for a second as you got up from your chair at the nurses station, “Y/N… thank you for being so nice… I’m only a week off of orientation and things are still so new…”

You smiled at the compliment, “We’ve all been there. Every nurse on this unit was new at one point and I think sometimes they forget that. Hell, I’m a traveler and this is only my second week and there’s so much that’s new to me too. You’re doing great.”

You spent the first part of your morning before rounds with the care team just cleaning up the patient, organizing the room, all that good stuff. Though it wasn’t necessarily considered “professional”, you played some music softly from your phone as you worked. You found that music or just talking to patients on vents helped with agitation. You couldn’t imagine anything more tortuous than listening to repetitive beeping and alarms all day long and nothing else. Though most managers didn’t like it, that didn’t stop you. What were they gonna do? Fire you? Hospitals hire travelers at such a high price point when they’re understaffed and desperate. They needed you more than you needed them.

█ ✪ █▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█ ✪ █

“When the sun goes down, we’ll be groovin’

When the sun goes down, we’ll feel alright

When the sun sinks down over the water

Everything is hotter when the sun goes down…”

Who the fuck listens to Kenny Chesney anymore? Rooster thought to himself.

He knew he was sick, the docs on the ship told him that before they knocked him out to shove the tube down his throat. They told him he’d be med-evaced back to San Diego because the hospital where he was overseas didn’t have the capabilities to take care of someone as sick as him. He didn’t know how long he had been there, all the days run together when you’re too weak to open your eyes. He was used to having things done to him, he was past the point of getting agitated about it, because he knew they’d just sedate him more.

“Alright, Bradshaw.” A confident voice said, “All of your lines are untangled, your room is clean, and your initial assessment is done… How about we have a little spa day? You’re smellin’ a little… ripe.”

RUDE! 

“HA! You can hear me! You raised your eyebrows!” She giggled, damn it was a cute giggle. Rooster honestly hadn’t realized he was moving his face. But he believed her because that’s what his face usually does when he’s surprised. “You’ve been caught. No more playing dumb.”

Water started running, splashing, and the suction was turned on… that sound usually meant his mouth was gonna get cleaned and he was gonna feel something funny down his throat. He hated it.

“Carly told me you were getting agitated during mouth care last night. Since you can hear me, I’m going to tell you everything I’m doing, so don’t get sassy with me.” She said, “Deal?”

Anything for the first person not to treat me like a damn vegetable. This was the first time someone actually talked to him and told him what the fuck was happening since he got here. It was a welcome change.

The kind yet sassy voice interrupted his thoughts, “Okay, mouth care. I’ll be quick, I promise.”

She didn’t lie to him, she was quick and the stupid suction caused him minimal discomfort. Maybe it was because he could brace himself, or maybe it was because she was just really good at her job.

“I’m about to give you a full body bath, so how about we get to know each other a little bit.” She said as she adjusted his sheets and pillows to reposition him, placing a towel under his head, and rinsing his hair with warm water.

Rooster’s whole body relaxed.

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N and I’m obviously your nurse today and will probably be for the next few days…” Nurse Y/N went on about where she’s from, her hobbies, how she’s not making many friends in this new hospital she’s been contracted out to.

Welcome to the military, it’s a boy’s club. He wished he could say that to her. He imagined medicine was similar to aviation, full of egos.

Before Rooster knew it, his whole body had been washed from head to toe. He hadn’t felt this clean in what felt like years.

“So Lieutenant… not to be crude but… I gotta clean your bits. But at least we’ve really gotten to know each other.” Nurse Y/N said, “Your girlfriend will thank me later.”

Ha! Rooster laughed to himself, What girlfriend?! My dick hasn’t been played with in months!

Like with the mouth care, her cleaning was quick and respectful. And damn, being clean felt so good. She went on to change his gown, sheets, and blankets. Rooster truly felt like a new man.

“Lieutenant Bradshaw, you’ve never looked better.” She said with a satisfied sigh.

That’s a damn lie, but I’ll take the compliments wherever I can get them at this point.

“Hey Y/N,” Another female voice said, “They’re starting with you for rounds. Are you ready to present your patient or should I stall?”

“Nah, I’m ready. Tell them to come in whenever.” Nurse Y/N said, then her voice got low and she whispered to Bradley, “I’m gonna try to get them to lighten your sedation and move towards trials of turning the ventilator off. It’s not gonna be comfortable but the sooner we start working towards getting that tube out of your throat, the sooner you can get the hell out of here.”

Rooster wanted to make sure she knew he heard her and that he was on board, it took every ounce of strength in his body, but he nodded.

█ ✪ █▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█ ✪ █

“No way.” The resident physician said simply after you gave your recommendation with your presentation of Lt. Bradshaw

You were dumbfounded. What the hell did he mean no?!, “This patient was more than ready to move towards extubation.” 

“And what makes you the expert?” the resident asked.

Oh lord, this fresh out of med school asshole was turning rounds into a dick measuring contest.

“The fact that I’ve been at his bedside for the past three and a half hours, I assessed him, bathed him, turned him, and he is showing signs of progress. The next step is spontaneous breathing trials and extubation. The longer he stays on the vent, the more likely he is to get pneumonia, as we all should know, Doctor.” You explained coolly but made sure to add his (probably newly earned) title. 

“I agree with…” The attending looked at you and scanned your badge, “... Y/N… What do you think from a Respiratory Therapy standpoint, Brent?” He looked over at Brent, the RT.

Brent smirked and narrowed his eyes at the resident, “I also think moving towards extubation is a good thing. If he has two successful trials, he could be off the vent by the end of the day.”

The attending physician nodded, “Then it’s a plan. And I think this is a really good lesson for the residents and medical students with us on rounds, the nurses know more about the patient than we do. We should always consider their recommendations because they have the most valuable view on the patient, simply because they spend time with them.”

You tried to dim the glow that was on your face.

 “Thanks, Dr…” You scanned the attending’s badge the same way he did yours.

“Carter, Brendan Carter.” He extended his hand and you shook it, “Glad to have you here.”

That was the most welcome anyone had made you feel in the last week here. Who would’ve thought a wrinkly old attending doctor with dancing eyes would be the person to stand up for you and make you feel secure in your clinical decision making.

█ ✪ █▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█ ✪ █

Rooster wasn’t sure how much time had gone by since Nurse Y/N told him she was turning down his sedatives but it felt like he could open his eyes almost instantly. It was so… bright. Once his eyes adjusted, he scanned his surroundings, the lights weren’t even on but the sun shining through the large window felt blinding. He looked to his left and saw the machine that the tube in his throat was attached to, the machine that had kept him alive for God knows how long. He looked to his right and saw multiple IV poles that attached him to lines and lines of medicine and fluid. Further to his right, he saw a woman standing at a computer, typing away furiously, her face was serious yet beautiful, was that Nurse Y/N?

“Good morning, Lt. Bradshaw.” She said quietly, “You’re still attached to your breathing tube, so you can’t talk. Now that you’re awake we’re one step closer to getting you off that thing. Sound good?”

Rooster nodded slowly, wishing he could thank her for everything. For talking to him, bathing him, treating him like a human-being.

“Do you feel strong enough to write?” She asked, “Can I get you a whiteboard?”

He nodded again.

“I’ll be right back.” She swiftly left the room. 

Rooster couldn’t help but love watching her walk away. Along with a beautiful face, he could tell she had a great body hiding underneath those scrubs. It had been so long since he’d seen a pretty girl.

She returned quickly with a whiteboard and a marker, handing it to him, “What’s on your mind Lieutenant?”

Call me Bradley. He scribbled, 

“Nice to meet you Bradley.” She smiled down at him, “How are ya feelin’?”

Better now that I’m clean and awake. He wrote.

“There’s something healing about a bath and being taken out of your drug induced sleep, huh?” She giggled.

Rooster nodded and started writing again, Thank you for everything.

“No biggie. I’m glad to see you doing so well. Is it okay if I do a full assessment on you, just since you’re awake now?” She asked.

He nodded, this girl could do anything she wanted to him. She was basically his angel.

[finnbbl]

Hyunjin x M! Reader - Dancer AU | SMAU | Chapter 10

Ch. 10 - Cutie | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter |

| Story Masterlist |

Written: Yes

Smau: Yes

Word Count: 0.8k

A/N: sry i fell off the face of the earth 😭 I got a writers block then got super busy and stressed with classes. Updates probably won’t be daily, I’ll update whenever the chapters are done <3 sorry to make you wait so long, and tysm for ur support !

P.S. let me know your thoughts on the story so far! i’m a bit insecure on some chapters and want ur guys honest opinion!

Warnings: Uhm swearing? Typos, not proofread. lemme know if i missed anything

The night went on with all 9 of you guys joking around and having fun. For once, you felt as if you fit in, like you belonged somewhere. The night was nearing an end, most stores were closed as it was rather pretty late.

Everyone had decided to window shop. At one point, without even realizing it, you had wandered off. Although it was late, there were still a few other people out and about.

You weren't paying attention, and the next thing you knew you had bumped into someone. You turned towards him as you apologized profusely. He was taller, had darker hair, and was dressed in a hoodie with a jean jacket over it. "I'm so sorry, I should've looked where I was going." You internally panicked as you bent down to pick up his bag, which you had previously accidentally knocked out of his hand. "It's alright sweetheart, don't worry."

You froze. "Sweetheart?" Your mind wandered around that thought as you unknowingly. Your eyes were lost on his gorgeous face as you unknowingly kept a tight grip on the bag. The guy's sentence snapped you out of your trance.

"You okay?" Immediately, you let go of it. "Oh, sorry." A nervous smile fell on your face as you quickly handed it to him and brought a hand to your now warm forehead. The guy chuckled at you as he complimented, "You're cute."

His compliments keep catching you off guard, before you even had a minute to register anything he said, he spoke up again. "You're not busy are you?" You shook your head at his question, wondering how you even got to this point.

For a moment, you completely forgot about everyone else.

This guy was intoxicating. "I've seen you've been wandering around with some other guys, mind if I tag along?" It was at this moment your body decided before your heart did. "Sure, that's fine." Throwing him a smile as he held out his hand for you to shake as he introduced himself. "I'm Mingyu."

"Mingyu.. that sounded familiar." You had sworn you'd heard that name somewhere. Pondering as you connected his hand with yours, shaking slowly. "Y/N." Unable to form a full sentence as you left him with just your name. "Y/N there you are." A voice behind you caught you off guard as you saw that Bang Chan was running in your direction. He seemed a bit worried. "You can't run off like that this late." Chan took a peek at who you were talking to. "Oh hey! Haven't seen you in a while. What are you doing in Japan?" The leader abandoned your guy's conversation and went over to talk to Mingyu. "Ah just touring, we have some free time so." The way he spoke captured you, and you felt like you couldn't take your eyes off of him. "You don't mind if I tag along with you guys do you?" By this time, the other members had caught up with you three and now listened in on their conversation.

"Ah, I think we're about to head back, it's decently late.

Sorry about that."

"Ah no worries, as long as I can get this one's number." His hand laid a gentle tap on your arm. In the few minutes you had been around him, you could tell Mingyu was a very flirty person. This left you sort of embarrassed, but it also left butterflies swirling around your stomach. God, you know that these boys would tease you about this later.

And damn were you right.

After you all filed onto the bus once again, they started messing with you. "Awh how cute, someone has themself a boyfriend." Hyunjin who was next to you nudged our shoulder. "Stop." You pushed him off of you. "I don't have anything."

"Mhmmm sure. That's why your eyes were glued to his face during his whole conversation with Chan."

"I was just trying to figure out who he was. That's all." You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms in your seat. “Pfft yeah right, everyone knows who Mingyu is. Not a very good excuse.” Lee Know stated again. “Only his name sounds familiar, i can’t think of anything else.” You let out a sigh as you rolled your eyes. Letting your body flop back in the seat as you crossed your arms. “Damn, so you really don’t know?” Felix’s voice sounded and your head shot in his direction, a questioning look on your face as you shook your head. “So you don’t listen to Seventeen?”

Your eyes widened as the group’s name was said. “You’re kidding, Seventeen?!” You sat back up as you heard Hyunjin laugh from next to you. “So I just embarrassed myself in front of the Mingyu from Seventeen?!” You dug your face in your hands, slouching back down. “I don’t think you embarrassed yourself, all you did was make googoo eyes at him for ten minutes.” Hyunjin teased as he neared your face. Feeling annoyed already, you pushed him away. “You’re so irritating!” He only laughed at your reaction as you rolled your eyes. The rest of the bus ride was pretty much just the others teasing you. Although you didn’t particularly enjoy it, you definitely enjoyed the time you spent with them. Finally, you had found your place.

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[paintyoureyeswithavividmind]

close to home | chapter sixty two

close to home | chapter sixty two

plot: the reader doesn't know what to do about Daryl

series masterlist

Pairing: Eventual Daryl Dixon x f!reader Word Count: 4,117 Warnings: violence, blood, typical twd A/N: thank you for reading!!

Daryl wasn’t there when you woke, making everything worse. It was like he said all those things only to leave again anyway. But Rosita was there, sitting on a chair with one of your books in her hand. She smiled when she saw you were up and came to sit on the bed by your legs. 

“Hey, sexy,” Rosita teased. “How are you feeling?”

“Remember when I was stabbed when we first met? A lot worse.” 

She chuckled. “You’ll get through it. I was shot, too. You’ll feel better soon… well, eventually.”

“I missed you,” You told her. “Sorry, I was away at the Kingdom for so long.”

She waved you off. “Don’t sweat it. I’m here for you, babe.” 

You laughed again and then winced. “How long was I out?”

“Two days. You were up yesterday but were pretty out of it. Michonne had to go back to the kids. She wants you to radio her when you’re up. I’ve been keeping her updated. She says she’s really sorry she couldn’t stay longer and would’ve if she could.”

“It’s okay. She’s got two kids and a community to run. Besides, I’m fine.” You looked at your friend and smiled tiredly. “Nothing keeps me down long, remember?”

Rosita smiled, and you could see the relief in her eyes. “Are you hungry? I can get some food for you?”

You nodded, “That would be great. Would you mind getting Tora, too?”

“Of course not.” Rosita stood and walked towards the door before pausing. “I kicked Daryl out to take care of himself. He hasn’t left the room. Do you want me to tell him you don’t want to see him?”

You sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t know.”

“That’s a no, then, babe.” Rosita laughed. “I’ll be back, don’t get shot again.”

***

You spent another few days in the infirmary before Adam said you were okay to go back to your room. You were still in a lot of pain, but it wasn’t from the gunshot. With the organ gone, it was just the surgery wounds and then the ribs that hurt the most.

Both Rosita and Daryl helped you get to your old room. Tora, who was pushing twelve years old now, followed slowly, and Rosita had to lift her to get her on the bed. 

You spent another two weeks cooped up in your room. Fall was near it’s end and Rosita had to get back to Alexandria, but she promised she would be back soon. 

Carol and Ezekiel came to see you, the former, more often. Even Henry came to you with flowers and apologized for getting you shot, which you dismissed immediately. 

But it was Daryl who was always there. And after almost three weeks of him by your side constantly, you were starting to get used to his presence again. The two of you didn’t argue, but you didn’t really talk either. You didn’t have the strength to heal your body and mind simultaneously. 

He begged you to let him stay with you overnight initially, and after struggling with trying to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you relented. But you made him sleep on the floor. 

So you read a lot, and he brought you food, changed your bandages, and helped you with everything you needed. He brought you a flower daily and reminded you that he loved you, which you accepted but couldn’t say back. 

A month after being shot, you were feeling better. Your ribs were sore, and your surgery and gunshot wound were okay. You could walk around the community and help a little here and there, but it wasn’t extensive. Which you were okay with because early winter had set in, and being in the cold made you shiver, which hurt. 

You were cleaning up your room one evening with the windows open. It was bringing in a cold draft, but you wanted to air out the space, and Tora needed to be let out. She’d since come back and nestled herself in the closet, but you wanted to air out the room a little more. You were shivering and trying to keep warm as you laid clean sheets and a blanket on your bed. 

Your hair was damp and braided back, and your newly cut curtain bangs hung loosely around your face. You were wearing a sweater you could in the Kingdom’s storage with a pair of leggings and thick socks, but it still was cold. 

Your door opened, and Daryl walked into the room. “Why ya got the window open?”

“You really should knock, Daryl. And don’t say you don’t have to ‘cause I’m your wife, ‘cause I’m not.” You said. “And Tora was out.”

He stayed silent as you shut the window. When you looked at him, you crossed your arms. “I told you yesterday that you should get your own room or go.”

“Where would I go?”

“I don’t know. Alexandria. Hilltop. Not my problem.” You knew you were being cruel, especially after everything he’s done for you the past month. But that didn’t mean you forgot about the last five and a half years. 

“I wanna be here. With ya.” 

You sighed and sat down on the bed. “You don’t get to come back just because I got hurt and expect everything to go back to normal.”

Daryl was quiet as he stared at you. Then he nodded and left the room. 

***

You’d been asleep for a few hours, dreams of Daryl twisting into nightmares of the saviors, when you woke to the door opening. You groaned softly at the noise and the soft lighting from the outside hallways, turning in your bed as the door shut again. 

From the moonlight, you saw Daryl’s figure walk toward the bed. 

“Do ya really want me to leave?” His voice was hoarse; like he’d been crying. 

You stayed silent as you looked at his face. 

“I will leave tonight, right now. Will let ya go, won’ have to ever see me again. I need to hear ya say it, though.” 

Your stomach twisted, and you clenched your blankets. Your mouth went dry, and your mind froze. You didn’t know what to say. You couldn’t form any words as you stared up at him. Tears leaked from your eyes. 

“Please (Y/N), I’ll do anythin’ ya ask. Just tell me ya want be gone, and ‘m gone.”

“You broke my heart,” You whispered. “I never thought you would, and you did.”

Daryl hung his head as he nodded, shoulders shaking. “‘Aight, I understand.”

When he turned and walked to the door you sat up. “Daryl. You’re my husband.” You didn’t know what else to say. But the tear in your heart was so painful you couldn't stand it.

The archer froze and slowly turned around. “Ya my wife.” He whispered, but you heard it clear. You nodded and reached out for him. 

He didn’t hesitate; of course, he didn’t. He crossed the room in half a second and fell into you. His hands grabbed your face as he kissed you, pushing you back onto the bed and gently lying on top of you. 

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” You mumbled against his lips. “Don’t you ever dare do that again.” 

“I won’t.” He promised, his beard tickling your chin. “I will never leave ya again. I swear it.” 

You nodded and kissed him, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hand grabbed your waist over your sweatshirt and ran along your side, down your thigh, and back up again. 

He was kissing you desperately, and you couldn’t tell if they were yours or his tears you were tasting. But you didn’t care. You didn’t care about anything except for his lips and the weight of his body on you. Grounding you. 

“I want you,” You whispered as you pulled away. “I don’t care if it’s a good idea or not. I want you.”

“Darlin’,” Daryl said before kissing you again feverishly. You could hardly keep up with his kiss, hands, and touch. It was like he was trying to make up for all of what he missed out on. 

You pawed at his shirt until he took it off, and you leaned up to let him take off your sweater. 

“I fuckin’ missed ya,” Daryl nearly moaned before pressing his mouth against your breasts, his tongue circling around your nipple and sucking lightly. You cried out and fisted your hands into his hair. Everywhere he touched sent you on fire, and you couldn’t keep your hips still. Tears burned your eyes, and your emotions swelled. Heartbreak and love mixed together to ache all over your body and mind. 

You didn’t realize you were crying until Daryl cradled your face and wiped away your tears. “Don’ cry, pretty girl. ‘M here. Never leavin’ ya again.”

“I missed you so much,” You sobbed as you looked at him. “I missed you so much, honey. Every day, it was like I couldn’t breathe.”

“‘M so sorry,” He whispered. 

“I’m sorry for being a shit wife,” You cried. 

“(Y/N)-”

“I was, too. We were both shit. I’m so sorry.” You grabbed his face and pulled him into another kiss. “Don’t stop even if I’m crying.” You mumbled. 

“(Y/N), I…”

You shook your head. “I need this. We need this. I can’t live without you, I tried. I wanna be close to you. I need to.” When you touched his cheeks you felt he was crying too, and you moved your head up to kiss the tears away. “I need you.”

Slowly, he nodded, and his lips fell to your neck. You were thankful because you needed a moment to collect your thoughts without seeing his face and because feeling his lips after so long had your toes curling. 

Daryl lifted himself off you to pull your shorts down, and you heard him groan when he realized there was nothing else underneath them. His hands gripped your thighs tightly, and he propped your legs up and spread them open. 

“Daryl,” You whined, reaching for him. 

“”M here, darlin’,”

Within a few seconds, he was hovering over you and your hands were rubbing his shoulders. You could feel how hard he was as he ran his cock up and down your center a few times. 

“Please…” You begged. “I need you.”

“‘M right here,” Daryl said, groaning when he slowly thrust into you. 

“Oh God, Daryl,” You moaned loudly and lifted your hips to meet his. 

He rested his head against your shoulder as he slowly moved in and out. Each time he pushed in, you moaned from his touch, and you couldn’t control how desperate you sounded for more. 

“I thought about you every time,” You breathed out, grabbing his forearms by the side of your head. “Every time I touched myself, I thought about you. About this.”

Daryl moaned louder than you’d ever heard and lifted his head to look at you. “I did, too.” His hand touched your face, and he wiped away your stray tears. “Don’ cry, darlin’.” 

“It feels so good…”

“I know, pretty girl.”

You shut your eyes and bit down on your lip when you felt his tip reach deep inside you. Your nails dug into his arms, and you felt him twitch inside you. 

“Promise me there was no one else,” You whispered. “Promise me, Daryl.”

“I promise,” He didn’t hesitate, and he thrust into you harder for emphasis. “Ain’ nobody I wanna be with but ya. Nobody feels like ya do.”

You breathed out in relief, finally accepting his answer as the truth. 

“Did ya?” Daryl asked you. “Ya can tell me the truth. I’ll fuckin’ kill the son of a bitch, but I won’ blame ya or be mad.”

“No,” You smiled and cupped his cheek. “Of course not. You’re it.”

Daryl nodded and moved faster, hitting you harder and harder each time he thrust into you. You felt that familiar build-up run through your legs and you wrapped them around him as you climaxed, his name the only thing leaving your lips. 

Still, he didn’t stop. He kept going harder and harder, deeper and deeper, until you were withering underneath him. You heard him say I love you, I love you, I love you over and over again. Your legs were shaking, and you couldn’t stop kissing him everywhere you could. His face, his arms, and neck. 

“I wanna finish in ya,” Daryl grunted.

You nodded, his words bringing you closer to the edge again. With a few more hard thrusts, Daryl groaned and came inside of you while you hit your own high. 

When it was over, he used his shirt to clean you up and pulled you into his arms so your back was pressed against his chest. His lips danced along your neck for a few peaceful minutes of silence and his fingers rubbed the X scar on your lower back. 

“Will ya wear your ring?”

“We still have a lot to work on…”

“I know. I just want it on ya.”

You felt him take his necklace off, and then his hands appeared in front of your face. One arm wrapped snuggly around your waist, and the other was your makeshift pillow. In that hand was your ring, and after giving him your hand, he slid it back where it belonged. 

His arm around your middle tightened, and you sighed in contentment, the moonlight reflecting off the metal ring. You’d gotten so used to seeing your hand without, and the weight seemed new. But it was a sight that made your heart swell. 

*** 

You woke up the following day to pressure on your legs and a hand caressing your cheek. It didn’t take long to find that Tora was asleep on your legs, and Daryl was awake and watching you while you slept. 

“That’s creepy.” You mumbled tiredly. 

Daryl’s hand covered the side of your face, reminding you how big it was in the first place. His fingers were rough as always, but it was the most comforting thing in the world to you right now. You closed your eyes when he pressed a long kiss to your cheek. 

“Ya look so pretty.” 

You smiled, not sure what to say. You wanted to slide back into your relationship with him, especially after last night, but you were still scared. He seemed like the Daryl before the war but more emotional. He’d been talking to you about his feelings, about what he wanted. He was doing everything you ever wanted from him. And it meant the world to you. But could it erase the last few years?

“What ya thinkin’? Ya got that look on ya face.”

You looked at him, taking in those ocean blue eyes hiding behind messy bedhead. His scruff was cut shorter than it had been, and you could see the gray in his beard. “I’m thinking about the time that’s been wasted.”

His finger traced over the scar above your eyebrow, then bushed your bangs back. “Don’ think ‘bout it. We’re here now. Think about that.”

You nodded slowly and took his hand from your face, looking at it. The ring was, of course, there, and you can see a very faint tan line from a few months ago. He’d been wearing it the whole time. Then your eyes roamed to his forearm, and you saw the burn scars. They looked exactly like the one he did on his hand years ago after Beth died. 

“Honey…”

“”M fine.” 

You kissed his hand and looked at him. “No more, okay? You wanna do it, come find me.”

He nodded and adjusted himself to rest his head against your shoulder and wrap his arm around your lower waist. It was silent for a while, just the two of you breathing and Tora’s soft snores. 

“Ya haven’ said I love ya back.” 

You furrowed your eyes and turned your head to look, but he was looking down, so you couldn’t see his face. “What?”

“Ya took the ring back, and we… last night. Ya haven’t told me ya love me.”

Your heart ached, and you sighed. “I’m sorry, I just… I’m trying to sort through my feelings.”

He nodded against your shoulder, and you felt him hold you just a little bit tighter. 

***

You took a long walk around the Kingdom later that day by yourself. Daryl wanted to go with you, but you refused. You needed time to think about things and just process all the emotions you’ve felt since getting shot. You never got the chance to process dying and being brought back to life by Siddiq and Adam. 

Tora didn’t accompany you because she was getting too old to keep up and was more comfortable in the warm room anyway. 

You grabbed some food from Nabila, who always gave you something whenever she saw you, and headed back toward your room. The community was pretty quiet, but you could see the lights on. You wondered where Carol was, but you knew she was probably with her family. And you were happy for her. 

You hesitated for a while before going back to your room. You weren’t sure if you were ready to face Daryl again. You were so conflicted over what to do. On one hand, he was home. He was with you. He’d buried himself deep inside you last night, and you felt everything you once did and were supposed to. You felt loved. You felt safe and protected. You felt him. 

But on the other hand, you were desperately afraid of him doing this again. You couldn’t stop it the first time; how would you be able to do it a second time?

As you rounded the corner to the building you lived in, your bag heavy on your shoulder, you saw Daryl. He was standing outside with Dog, smoking a cigarette, with his crossbow on his back. He looked beautiful. He looked perfect, which was all the more reason you were so conflicted.

“Hey, crazy girl,” Daryl said when he saw you approaching. You grabbed the cigarette from his hand and brought it to your lips, taking a long drag of it. “Thought ya didn’ like smokin’?”

“Yeah, well, I have a lot of anxiety right now, and one won’t kill me.”

Daryl nodded, and you knew he understood what you meant. Dog whined and rubbed his head against your legs, and you gently pet him. 

“Well, ya look pretty today.”

You snorted. “I look like I always do.”

“Ya always look pretty.”

“Are you trying to butter me up?”

“Is it workin’?”

You smiled and took another puff. “Listen, Dixon. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about us. And I miss you. And I don’t wanna waste any more time. I wanna be with you. But I’m terrified of you now. I can’t… You can’t leave me again like that. And I just can’t believe you right now when you say you won’t.”

“What can I do to make ya?”

You shook your head. “I don’t know. I just need time, I guess. But I wanna go back to Alexandria soon. It’s been two months, and Michonne needs me. And I miss the kids.”

“I’ll come with ya.” 

“Are you sure about that?”

He nodded and reached out to grab you but let his hand drop. “‘M goin’ anywhere ya go. Ya wanna go to Hilltop, Oceanside, California. I ain’ ever leavin’ ya side.”

“And if I get sick of you?”

“Just gonna have to deal with me, then.”

You chuckled and took one last hit of the cigarette. You felt calmer. Then you put it out on the ground. “Alright then.”

“Can I show ya somethin’? Might help make ya believe me.”

***

Two days later, you were bundled underneath a thick jacket, a hat, and gloves--Daryl’s orders. You’d ridden most of the way there on horseback with Jerry, but when you got to a part, Daryl had you get off the horse and load up on supplies. Then Jerry left with both horses and told you someone would be back in two days. 

No matter how often you asked Daryl where he was taking you, he didn’t answer. And you didn’t realize where you were until you recognized the river. But you continued on its side for about an hour before following Daryl fully into the woods. 

“If my mom saw me following a man into the woods like this…” You trailed off, adjusting the straps on your bag. You didn’t even know what it was, but it was heavy.

Daryl stopped and turned around to look at you. “It ain’ count if the man’s ya husband.” His voice was hoarse and deep as ever. He reached out his hand, and you grabbed it, intertwining your fingers together. “‘Sides, we almost there. Watch out for the traps, put ‘em all ‘round.”

You hummed and walked alongside of him, keeping an eye on the ground. Daryl was creative when it came to traps and snares; you remembered it well from the prison. 

“‘Aight, here ya go.”

You looked up from the ground and saw what he was nodding his head toward, and you laughed. You laughed so hard you felt tears in your eyes. “Oh my God, you did not…”

Daryl smiled down at you. “Took me three years. Started it the day ya threw the ring at me.”

You shook your head, dropped his hand, and walked toward the treehouse. It was built around one of the biggest trees with many branches. You knew most of the wood had come from the bridge because it still looked perfect and new. But it was definitely weathered. 

“Why did… how did…?” You were at a loss for words.

“I didn’ realize that was what I was doin’ until I started. Think I just needed to keep myself busy.”

You turned around and looked at him. His cheeks were red and he was avoiding eye contact. You walked up to him and grabbed his face before kissing him deeply. When you finally had to come up for air, you smiled. “I love you, Daryl Dixon.”

His hands squeezed your waist. “I love ya more, Dixon."

You could hardly wait to see it and played with your fingers while Daryl climbed up the rope and then threw you down a rope ladder. There was no way you would’ve been able to climb it now, not while you were still healing. 

“Good thing I made it,” Daryl said, helping you to the platform. You weren’t as high up as your old treehouse down south, but it was at least eight feet up. “Almost didn’.”

You nodded at his words and moved aside from him, going inside the space. You dropped your bag as you walked around. It wasn’t anything crazy. It was a decent-sized open space with a few open holes for windows. There was a small stone fireplace that he’d actually built into it, so you knew there was a chimney. And then, on the opposite side was a raised platform where you assumed a bed was supposed to go. 

“I can’t…” You stumbled over your words as you looked around again. 

Daryl leaned against the doorway and stared at you with a small smile. “Never thought I’d get to see ya here.”

“You did this for me?” You asked. 

He nodded and set his bags down and pulled the door closed. “Stole a bunch a shit from the Hilltop. And Carol let me borrow some supplies.”

“Daryl, this is incredible.” You walked over to one of the windows and felt the cold breeze on your face. You could see snow flurries. Then you felt hands on your hips and stood up straight so your back was against his chest. 

“Ya deserve more.”

You turned around. “No, you deserve more. I’m sorry for everything, Daryl. I mean it. I’m sorry for leaving. I’m sorry for that fight. I’m so sorry for pushing you the way that I did. I think about it all the time. I stopped trying too, and I-.”

“(Y/N), shut the hell up,” Daryl grunted. “We can just start over, here and now. Whatta say?”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and played with the back of his hair. “I think that that sounds perfect.”

[punkpandapatrixk]

Shifts in Focus~♪

Yooo have you been healthy, peeps? I’ve been doing A. MA. ZING. since now I’ve got the means to buy plenty of food and snacks weekly🍛🍨🥃 I’ve got to believe that this is my chapter where the Wheel of Fortune is finally turning around🎉🤣🍒 If you’re someone who’s still struggling financially and/or figuring out your next steps, I believe this autumn season is going to shower you with so much good aenergy and everything is only gonna get better🚀 You’ll see in my next Full Moon PAC (tho it’s a bit tardy XD)

🌝🎑🥮

Now that I’ve somewhat got a ‘stable job’ that I actually enjoy doing, there have been massive changes in my daily routines and priorities. I’ve gotten healthier, of course, and that’s something I’m most grateful for🩻 With my new schedules and routines, I’ve got to shift my focus for the blog as well, as I want to offer you content that’s most exciting and helpful with the time I have🍉

Therefore, I've got some blog updates on what’s going and coming~🌟 (for now XD)

Oracle Alchemy

No longer doing it. I’ve to admit I’ve never been good (or even keen) at sharing life updates with people I don’t know. Actually, I don’t even talk about stuff like that with people I do know XD So, I’ll just write updates on the blog whenever there’s one~🫠

I’ll change Tier 1 benefit on Patreon. It’ll be only for ‘General Support for the Blog’. Of course, anybody choosing this tier will instantly have access to all previous Oracle Alchemy posts~🍀 The Soul Alchemy parts are worthwhile, I promise XD 🍇

Punk Panda Pick-A-Pic

Yaaas, this will be main focus. Of course. Now that I’m not distracted with other types of content, I think I can smoothly get on with my list of PAC ideas that at this point are enough content for the next 3 yeeaaarrsss🌱🌿🍀

I’m thinking of conducting some polling in the near future. Like a KYC survey or something LMAO To know what kinds of life concerns you’re dealing with most. It would be nice if the PACs can reflect that more, right?📖🪩🪞

Punk Astro Guidance

No. Not. Nope. This segment has always been way too much work and aenergy and I’m saying this the second time: I’ve never truly spiritually enjoyed writing periodic readings😭🫠😵

Punk Panda Affirmations

I believe I’ll still be writing concept affirmations. They’re really beneficial for me myself, actually, and I think it can do you good if you script your own affirmations, too. This habit gets you manifesting much more quickly, I think🤭

Moon Panda Pick-A-Pic

Possibly will be my only reading that caters to periodic readings. That should be good enough as I essentially struggle with time XD Plus, the collages are always so pretty ^^ I’ll try to post closer to the time of the FM hahahah🤪

More that’s coming…

I’ll update another time as this is quite a lot of shifts already~ If you’ve ever seen my updates on Patreon you know I’m not very good at keeping up with my updates as I change my mind all the time!! LMAO

Aaa there’s simply so much I want to do!!🤩 And I don’t really know how to convey this excitement! I don’t even know why I’m excited seeing as I’ve been doing this for 3 years anyway LMAO

Thank you for tagging along🌷 Especially thank you for any kind of support you’ve ever given me on Patreon~🍊 Your patronage has been life changing to say the least!!!💝

May this autumn season bring you the greatest blessings for all your kindness and compassion that you’ve ever shared with any any anybody in your amazing Life~🍑🌾🍁🎃

❌💋❌💋

[personasintro]

FAQ

Since I’ve been getting same questions all the time, it’s probably for the best I finally made this post!

When do you update?

As it’s stated in my pinned post, I don’t have any schedule — therefore I update whenever I finish the whole process of writing (drafting, writing, editing).

I can’t see your pinned post. Why?

It’s most likely that you have to change your settings first to see mature content. I heard you can do that through browser since app doesn’t have that option yet. This link might be helpful, check it out!

What inspired you to write?

I’ve always had a close relationship with writing but it’s never been that serious. My proper first memory of writing something was when me and my friend wrote stories for each other haha. I decided to write and post my first fanfiction after I read a few of them. It inspired me to try it on my own and here I am. (A very short version hehe)

What’s your favorite story of yours?

It depends on the day, it changes almost every day haha so I guess we’ll never get a proper answer!

What inspired you to write Mutual Help?

I just wanted to write a fake dating au + Jungkook series. It somehow just came together! Nicely I hope hehe!

How many chapter is MH gonna have?

I don’t know unless it’s stated otherwise. It’s hard to give you an approximate amount of chapters. But I’ll inform you either in my author’s note or here under the tag ask: mutual help.

What ending it’s gonna have?

That’s something I don’t want to answer and reveal. I wish to reveal it in the story!

My asks weren’t answered. Why?

It might be the case of multiple reasons.

Tumblr might’ve ate your ask. It’s no secret that sometimes happens (unfortunately).

I don’t feel comfortable answering that particular message/question.

Your question has been just answered recently. I recommend checking tags for each story (ex. ask: mutual help, ask: monachopsis etc…). I understand not everyone wants to catch up with my asks, but please understand I can’t answer the same respective questions over and over again 🥺 I would do nothing else than just answering the same questions every day.

One of the reasons might be because I’m getting many asks daily & it’s impossible for me to answer them all. I really wish I could but unfortunately, that’s not possible 🥺 and for that I apologize! It came to that point where I have to be picky and choose what to answer and what not.

Have you ever wanted to be a professional writer? Is that your goal?

No! This is just a hobby for me 😊

Do you have any fics recommendations?

All my fics recs can be found under the tag “fic rec” 😇

[hey-august]

I'll Be Your Whatever - Chapter 1

Description: Life is full of all sorts of characters - some who come and go, and others that stay. After propelling yourself into a lie you can't (won't) take back, a certain pirate captain may have a reason to come by more often. (Chapter 2)

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: SFW, some profanity. Buggy x afab!reader. No use of Y/N.

A/N: I've been so excited to write this story using one of my favorite relationship tropes. For now, I expect this to stay SFW. There might be a little angst and spice in the future, but nothing Rated R. I'll update the warnings if that ever changes.

The title comes from "your whatever" by lovelytheband.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

As a port town enroute to other, more popular, destinations, there was never a lack of variety with the visiting travelers and explorers. Sailors, merchants, pirates, voyagers, and more made up the guests who patronized the town. They stopped to make repairs and keel hulls, purchase supplies, and plot courses. Most ships only stayed for a day or two. Others wanted a longer reprieve before moving on to busier, dramatic adventures. 

Despite living in a town with more assortment than the corner candy shop, it was the locals that made you grit your teeth on a daily basis. You could put up with unapologetic rudeness, aggressive flirting, unnecessary bargaining, and other sour, temporary distastes. This type of behavior was expected from visiting seafarers, but you found it less excusable from those you saw every day of your life.

So when you noticed the two locals who you found particularly unsavory, you considered hiding in the shop you just vacated. Despite years of brushing off their advances and refusing to drop a crumb of attention that’s nothing more than polite, Reeves and Bolsti were stuck on you like butter on toast. Before you could take shelter in the shop, they caught up and were thickly spreading the compliments and attention.

“Hey lovely, I thought the sun was blinding today, but it’s actually your beauty.” 

“I think there’s something wrong with my eyes…I can’t take them off of you.”

“Are you tired from running through my mind all day?

“Your hands are too beautiful to be carrying those shopping bags, why don’t you let me take care of them for you?”

Blinking away the expressionless glaze coating your eyes, you gave the men a tightlipped smile and shook your head. You explained that you still had stops to make and couldn't stay.

“You make me wanna follow my dreams,” Bolsti said with a wistful sigh. He hooked arms with you and continued, “So, where am I following you?”

A pit caught in your throat, hot and heavy. The words burning you inside weren’t worth the resulting ripple effect. Gossip and rumors move through town like fire and you wouldn’t be able to tamper the words threatening to burst out. Swallowing the impulse, you extracted your arm and stepped away. 

“I really do have to go-”

Reeves interrupted and offered to keep you company, which you swiftly declined.

“There are a lot of pirates around today and you can’t be too safe. I’m sure your dad-” The rest of Bolsti’s remark died under the hard look you sent his way.  Shuffling his feet, he continued with a mumbled, “we just want you to be safe.”

“I’ll be fine. The pirates aren’t the worst ones around here,” you said, hoping they got the message. Their rolling eyes said the message was delivered and ignored.

“Please, we’re better than those disgusting thieves. Just give me - I mean, one of us - a chance. We know you’re not seeing anyone.” Reeves stepped closer and flashed what he thought was a charismatic smile. There were poppy seeds in his teeth.

“I am seeing someone.” The words came from your mouth but you didn’t remember saying them. Shit. 

It was obvious neither of them believed you. They were arming themselves with follow-up questions that would only sink you deeper. You had to get out of this situation. You excused yourself, yet again, and moved to sidestep the duo. Bolsti reached out and you pulled your arm back, away from his grasp and into the stomach of someone behind you. Hands on your shoulder and the offending elbow prevented you from delivering another accidental blow.

“Fuck, watch what you’re doing,” said a winded voice. You felt annoyance in the words and in the hold on your body, but not danger.

Reeves eyed the hands on your body with anger and jealousy. You didn’t look uncomfortable and he wondered whether this person was actually a stranger to you.

“Is this who you’re seeing? Your…boyfriend?”

All eyes were on Reeves. Bolsti’s, in shock, because he hadn’t entertained that thought yet. Yours, because those were the kind of follow-up questions you wanted to avoid. And the new addition to the group, because he had no idea what the hell was going on. The hands fell off your body at the accusation.

You shook your head to everyone’s relief. Except yours, because Reeves couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut. A growing smirk and an inhale likely preceded a snarky comment about how you’re lying and you couldn’t stand to hear it. Whatever possessed you to say you were seeing someone reared its stupid head and spoke up again.

“We don’t use labels like that.”

Even the stranger knew you were lying and couldn’t hold in a snort. You’re a joke. This is a nightmare. What the fuck. Before anything worse could happen, the door to the shop swung open.

“Is there a problem here?” asked one of the shop owners, eyeing the group.

“No, Mr. Inslo, we’re leaving,” you said quickly, unwilling to languish any longer in the hole you dug.

You grabbed the arm of the person standing next to you and pulled them down the street, blinking back your frustration. The sounds of Reeves and Bolsti explaining the situation - spreading your lie - faded into background noise.  Once you two were a decent distance away, you stepped down a side street to release your unwilling conspirator and wipe the tears blurring your vision.

Finally, you looked at the stranger and were greeted by a face you recognized from the bounty posters. Of course. Not just a pirate, but a pirate captain. Instead of the fearsome grin from the poster, however, he currently wore a different look. The clown-y face paint and red nose probably influenced how you read his expression - he appeared irritated but also bemused.

“You’re shit at acting.” His hard tone stung. That was a fair review. You deserved it.

“Whatever, things got out of hand. Sorry for dragging you into it,” you grumbled, deeply embarrassed that your awful performance had multiple witnesses.

“And…?”

You stared at the pirate, unsure what cue you must be missing. Realizing you needed another prompt, the pirate held his stomach and feigned an injury. He leaned to the side weakly and contorted his face, letting out a groan of pain. The odd blue tassels on his hat swung with his movement. You bit back a smile at his dramatic retelling.

“Sorry for assaulting you.” The forced apology was enough to put a stop to his charade. “I guess you do know something about acting.”

“I should, I’m known as the ‘Genius Jester’ after all.”  The blank, placid smile on your face annoyed him. “I’m Captain Buggy, the Star Clown!” He held out his arms in a welcoming gesture, which did little to elevate the tightlipped grin that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Mmm, clown. That explains the…” You waved your hand in front of your face, which seemed to make Buggy even more pissed. “...face paint,” you finished with a confused mutter, which was met by a small sneer.

You didn’t understand why the pirate was getting so fired up when you already apologized and absolved him from the shitty situation you created. Feeling tears well in your eyes again, you took a shaky breath to try and calm the agitation and exasperation flooding your body.

Buggy watched as you tilted your face to the cloudless sky. Your overfilled eyes reflected the bright sunlight before you closed them and inhaled. When you opened your eyes, a few tears escaped.

“Listen, you can go. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“What were you trying to do?”

You didn’t expect the question, but reasoned with yourself that he probably wanted to know how he got involved. It didn’t take long to share the full backstory. You hoped talking about it would alleviate some of the stress. Afterwards, you still felt the oppressive weight on your shoulders, however, it was nice to have someone who knew the truth.

A soft breeze carried voices down the side street. Buggy noticed how you tensed and correctly assumed you heard the two shitheads you were trying to avoid. Panic was written across your face as your eyes darted back and forth, contemplating different scenarios. This was like a cheesy soap opera and the clown could hardly hold in his laughter at the scene. Unfortunately for Buggy, the chuckle that escaped his mouth made him a target.

Without warning, you grabbed Buggy’s coat and stumbled backwards until you met the wall. The momentum threw the pirate off his balance. He threw up his arms to stop from crashing into you or the wall, which was your plan. You were caught between his arms while he leaned towards you - to anyone passing by, this would look like an intimate moment between lovers. And that orchestrated sight is what Reeves and Bolsti saw as they slinked past.

You let go of Buggy’s jacket, letting him step away. Your face was flushed and your eyes sparkled with the momentary victory. You were surprised to see the pirate was smiling as well.

“Not mad?”

“No, that was surprisingly effective. I think they believed it.”

“It only worked because you were still here,” you sighed, resting your head against the wall. “Honestly, a small part of me wants to ask you to keep playing along.”

“Sounds like a role I don’t want.” 

You appreciated how Buggy met the energy of your half-hearted remark. It was nice to joke about your predicament.

“That’s fair. What’s in it for you… What do pirates want? Treasure? A treasure map?” you mused.

“Sure, I would do it for treasure.”

You froze. And Buggy noticed. You locked eyes, parallel thoughts running through your minds.

“Would you really? “Do you actually have treasure?” 

Another pause. The two different questions managed to answer each other.

“A map. It belonged to my dad,” you finally clarified. 

“A real treasure map?” Buggy asked in a low voice you felt compelled to answer. You nodded.

“Tsk tsk tsk,” the pirate waggled his finger, admonishing you for answering. “Telling pirates that you have a treasure map is a very bad idea.” 

Fuck. He was right. This was a bad idea. Multiple bad ideas. This was not your day. Your face scrunched in anxiety and disappointment. Another expression that garnered an amused huff from the clown. The subsequent glare you sent him didn’t diminish his amusement.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry. I know how to keep a secret,” Buggy said with a wink. “I’ll see you around, sweetheart.”

And with that, the pirate left. He heard an agonized groan and stomping feet fade as he walked away. He shook his head and chuckled as he imagined the frustrated tantrum you were throwing behind his back.

[tgmsunmontue]

Saga of Solitude 2/?

Nepo!Baby Bradley and his life at USNA and afterwards. DADT fully in force. IceMav AU. (Begun prior to 'It's not who you know' - the non-angsty version).

PROLOGUE (He remembers) HANGSTER FIRST MEETING (Lonely Nights) Updating irregularly. This is a SLOW BURN

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

2001

                He walks across the stage at his graduation and he feels buoyed up as he hears the cheers, can hear Mav absolutely losing it, egged on by the high pitched squeals of Tamsin and Petra and when he’s engulfed in the warm embrace of his family he does his best to ignore the fact that he might not get this when he graduates from the USNA. And he will graduate, that’s not in question in his mind. But whether he will allow both Mav and Ice to attend, whether they will even be in the country. It’s all unknown with it being so far away.

                That said they’ve decided that Sarah and the girls will drop him off at USNA, they’re still his family and no-one will look sideways at them being there. He knows Mav could technically drop him off, that no one going into Plebe summer would know who he was, at least not yet. But he doesn’t want there to be talk about him having connections, even if it’s true multiple times over. If he’s going to make friends he wants them to be people who genuinely like him, rather than the potential benefits of being his friend. Not that he thinks there are any. Not yet.

                Ice and Mav have been riding him hard the last few months, training with him and running, swimming, weights and he hadn’t wanted to let guys over twenty years his senior put him to shame. But they had the first couple of weeks, their endurance just out-stripping him. Not anymore though, he’s improved remarkably, the routine becoming almost comfortable and Ice had begun slapping him on the back and telling him that he maybe might have a chance of enjoying Plebe Summer rather than wishing for a swift and painless death on a daily basis.

                The most exciting thing he gets is an almost new Audi, which Ice then promptly tells him he can’t take to USNA anyway. But its highly safety rated and he gives Mav a raised eyebrow at that, because Mav still rides his bike around with no helmet and probably always will. But he’s going to insist Bradley drive a car that is rated for maximum safety for front and passenger side crashes. Apparently, he trusts Bradley, but not everyone else on the road. Bradley doesn’t point out that Mav himself is one of the other people on the road.

                They say goodbye at the airport, none of them in uniform yet with the fact that they’re going a couple of days early. Tamsin and Petra are just as excited about the flight as Bradley, although they’re running circles around them and he occasionally reaches out to throw one or the other up into the air, their delighted giggles making him grin. He wants to start this journey already, wants to make Mav and Ice proud. But he’s going to miss seeing Tamsin and Petra grow up and if he’s going to have regrets about anything, it’s that.

                “We would like a short phone call every Saturday. Doesn’t need to be longer than a couple of minutes, but we do want to talk to you. Obviously only works when I’m in the country.”

                “Of course. And I’ll write letters as well. When I have time,” Bradley offers, because Ice has reiterated over and over how exhausting the first year is. “Can I call you as well?” Bradley asks, turning to Sarah, and his anxiousness must show on his face.

                “Oh honey, of course you can. We’d all love to talk to you. You won’t get a word in edgeways if it’s one of these two hellions you wanted to talk to though…”

                “That’s okay, I might not be much of a conversationalist anyway…”

                The call for their flight comes and he hugs Mav and Ice tightly, throat tight with emotion as he realizes it’s going to be months before he sees them again.

                “I’m proud of you. Keep your nose clean okay?” Ice says.

                “Of course. Always.”

                “Don’t forget to have fun,” Mav says.

                “Not too much fun,” Ice instantly adds and Mav is rolling his eyes, throws him a wink and god he’s going to miss them so much.

                The flight is exhausting, keeping Petra and Tamsin entertained a fulltime task and he’s glad the flight isn’t any longer. They got a couple of rooms booked at a Motel and he falls into his bed, determined to enjoy a solid night’s sleep. Over the next couple of days they do some touristy things, although the number of playgrounds and parks they visit is probably higher, what with Tamsin and Petra getting bored quickly with anything that requires even a small modicum of reading. It’s fine though, he’ll have liberty leave and can come to the museums and stuff if he wants to.

                When they drop him off for his first day, his bags all packed and dressed in his uniform Tamsin has made the connection that he’s not coming home with them and is inconsolable, tears streaming down her face and he finds it heartbreaking that she’s so upset to say goodbye to him. He promises to draw her some pictures and post them, that they’ll talk on the phone and he has to trust Sarah when she says she’ll be fine. He waves good bye and goes to start the rest of his life.

…             …             …

                As the days fly past he’s so glad he was forced into the training regime that Ice and Mav planned out, because while he’s still pushed past his personal limits his recovery time is much shorter, he knows how much food he needs to eat and how to deal with the yelling and sleep depravation exercises. God, Ice really didn’t exaggerate when he said it was going to be hard. He knows the orders inside out, when asked about his family he doesn’t hesitate to say his father was a naval aviator, a RIO who died in a training exercise in 1986. It does generally stop follow-up questions, but he suspects that some of the teachers know who he is, know that Maverick is listed as his emergency contact. He doesn’t ever bring it up.

                He writes more letters than he thought he would, the phones difficult to use except for the brief few minutes he makes a concerted effort every Saturday. However the time he doesn’t have to use memorizing orders coming in handy and he draws pictures for Tamsin and Petra and writes letters, addressing them to where Mav is deployed. Bradley doesn’t make close friends, he does make friends though, lots and lots of friends. Remembers their birthdays, makes little notes of things they tell him, asks follow up questions about their families and helps them out where and when he can.

                He doesn’t share much information about himself though, keeps it close to his chest. It’s maybe a little paranoid but it’s not just him on the line, but Mav and Ice. When pressed he mentions his step-father Pete, how he married his mom after his dad died. When he mentions his mom dying is usually when people either start to look like they seriously regret asking, or they look like they pity him and he doesn’t know which he dislikes the most. He is asked about the photo he keeps by his bed, of Tamsin and Petra and he simply explains that they’re his step-siblings. It all makes sense in his head, knows he can keep all of that straight in his head as none of it is a lie. He knows people are probably making assumption about Pete marrying Sarah, but he’s never said anything about that.

                The seven weeks of Plebe Summer come to an end and then he’s preparing for his plebe year, picking the academic classes which he will undertake alongside the physical activities required at the Academy. He’s flying home for a short break of one week, Maverick is on deployment, so he expects Ice or Sarah at the airport to pick him up. The fact that they’re all there makes his hurt from smiling so much and he goes home with Ice, squishes himself into the backseat because Tamsin won’t let go of his hand.

                He goes back to USNA feeling revitalized after spending time with them, and of course there’s one upper classman who seems to have it out for him, and Bradley is careful to remain respectful, but he also won’t let himself be a doormat. He knows his own worth, even if this one guy is constantly trying to find fault with him and snipe him. He does his best to ignore it, knows that a little of this is part and parcel of the entire experience, but it doesn’t mean he likes it.

                Then September 11th happens and his immediate thought goes to Mav, somewhere on deployment somewhere near the Middle East, and he feels awful, immediately thinking of his own family before the hundreds or thousands of innocent people who are now dead. They’re given very little information, however he does receive an envelope with the mail two days later, no stamp or postmark and it’s simply They’re both alive and well. Uncle Sli. He breathes out and the tension in his shoulders lessens immediately. Slider isn’t someone he sees a lot of, but he’d recognize him and is so grateful for the message.

                He’s not stupid, knows that they’re all now in the military, that there are plenty of risks day-to-day associated with that. However looking at the potential start of World War Three is different when he knows Mav is one of the best fighter pilots that the Navy currently has. He’s just going to have to learn to compartmentalize now and ignore his feelings, the worry about where he is and when he will next see him. Plebe Year continues, and there is a shift in the intensity of some of the people, knowing that active combat suddenly feels much closer to home.

                He chooses to stay on campus through the holiday break, along with a handful of others. He’s thankful all his family are alive and well, but going home to houses devoid of both Maverick and Ice makes him want to stay where he is, because he’s used to not seeing them around here. Word has gotten around that both his parents are dead, so no one asks him awkward questions about why he’s not going home. He’s the only Plebe who has stayed.

                His New Year’s Eve is vastly different than the previous year, when he’d been celebrating with his high school friends, or even the year before sitting on the sofa with Ice as they watched the ball drop. This year he lies in his dorm bed and listens to the fireworks outside, rolls over and simply tries to sleep. He’d had liberty leave, but he’s underage, clearly military and the risks far outweigh any rewards from doing something, anything, for New Year’s Eve. So staying in and sleeping it is. This is only one year of the many ahead of him.

…             …             …

                Spring semester starts up and it’s routine. The academic classes along with the exercises and naval classes. He continues writing letters, making Saturday afternoon phone calls and hangs out with the other Plebes, some of them he’d even class as friends, and damned Ice, he was right about him making friends despite trying to be stand offish and taciturn about his background. They don’t seem to care that he doesn’t talk about his family much, which he guesses is nice, and when a couple of them invite him to their place for summer he mention going home to his step-father and he gets a couple of raised eyebrows.

                “I love my step-father. And my step-siblings. I’ll spend the few weeks of summer with them.”

                “But you didn’t go at Christmas.”

                “Pete was out of the country for work and Sarah is Jewish, so I just, stayed here,” Bradley offers and once again he ignores the slightly pitying looks from the others in the wider circle who are listening in, but the two different Plebes that had invited him to their homes for summer nod with more understanding and he wonders if he’s now going to get invites for every time they have liberty leave or parent-weekends, or fuck, even their next Christmas break.

                So his first year comes to an end and he finishes in the top two-percent of the class. He watches the Firsts graduate and knows that’s going to be him in another three years. Then Uncle Slider is there, along with Wolfman and Hollywood and he knows it’s a compromise of sorts, Ice and Maverick staying away. How he’s going to explain these three talking to him he had no idea, but finds he doesn’t need to.

                “They flew with your old man huh?”

                “What?”

                “Those guys that were talking to you, they all looked proud of you, but also a little sad.”

                “Yeah. Yeah they flew with my dad. They were in the same Top Gun class as him. And I guess they wish my dad was here to see me…” Bradley says, realizing the truth of it, because not only is his dad not able to be here, but neither Maverick or Ice are here either. None of the men he considers father figures, and he knows that Slider at least knows about Ice and Mav’s relationship.

                They had seemed a little melancholic when they’d been talking to him, unlike Ice and Mav who have probably worked through the fact that his parents will miss all his milestones the people who see him less often probably focus on it a lot more. He’s grateful suddenly that Mav doesn’t seem to dwell on it, is gleefully proud of him from a distance and Bradley is left in no doubt of that fact. The same for Ice. God he’s looking forward to seeing them both in person though, doesn’t want to go an entire year again without seeing them, but also knows it’s been a good test, for future deployments when he has to be even further away from them all.

…             …             …

                “God I want to be there so badly…”

                “We’ll be there for his final year graduation, even if it’s purely formal. He’s not alone…”

                “I know, I know, it just… I’ve missed him so much. Coming home and him not being here. God Ice, it’s like I’m missing a piece of myself.”

                “He was going to grow up and move out eventually…”

                “I know. God. I know. I just feel like it’s gone by so fast. I still remember him being this little toddler who could barely walk…”

                “If you couldn’t remember it I’d be worried about you.”

                “Shut up, you know what I mean. It’s the fact that this toddler is now on the other side of the country attending boat school and I can’t even visit him…”

                “We’ll make it work better next year, figure out some visits, because I don’t think Sarah and the girls have coped overly well either. I do think it was probably for the best though, think he will feel incredibly settled going forward. He’s done very well, he’s got people watching him already, and not all of them know about his connections or background.”

                “He’s impressive all on his own, he doesn’t fucking need any connections!”

                “Mav, you’re preaching to the converted. He’s gotten through his first year and I’m hoping he’ll let us visit a little incognito for next year’s parent weekend. I could visit formally, although I’d prefer not to.”

                “Well, at least we get him home for a few weeks this summer.”

                Tom hums, because he’s pulled a few strings to ensure that they all have leave overlapping for the weeks Bradley is back home, and he may have used his eldest daughter’s last summer before she starts school as an excuse and he has no shame in admitting it.

…             …             …

                It’s absolute chaos, Petra’s fourth birthday and his welcome home party all squished into a terrifying combination of a bouncy castle and a group of kids from Petra’s daycare, along with a mom of one of the other kids doing face-painting, which has resulted in him with a rainbow on one cheek and a butterfly on the other. The birthday party is meant to finish around three, early enough that the kids who need naps can still have them.

                Petra is not one of them, looking wide awake, apparently impossible to keep shoes on or her long dark hair braided, or even tied back. She’s swinging on the backyard playset, yelling for higher and faster with excited giggles and… She could be Mav’s kid. As much as Tamsin is the spitting image of Ice, Petra looks like Maverick. He looks to Sarah, her hair is brown, eyes also brown, so it’s not impossible that Petra just looks like her more than Ice but…

                “Papa! Higher!”

                Holy shit.

                “She calls Mav papa?” Bradley mutters under his breath, because that’s a new development no-one bothered to mention to him. Mav is already there, pushing her and laughing with her and god, why didn’t they say anything? Maybe he has it wrong? Does he need to know? He wants to know, but he doesn’t need to know.

                “Did you just realize?”

                Ice has stepped beside him, is nursing a beer and is also watching Petra and Maverick.

                “Hmm? Realize what?” Bradley asks, wondering if playing dumb is going to even work right now. Looks from his kid-sisters-slash-cousins back to Ice, and now that he’s looking properly it’s even more obvious that Tamsin is very clearly his daughter through and through just as much as Petra isn’t.

                “Did you just realize that Petra is the spitting image of Maverick.”

                “I… I’m not imagining it?”

                “Nope. They’re even named after each of us. Your Aunt Sarah is a very generous woman, and obviously it’s my name on the birth certificates. But we all know the truth. And now you do too.”

                “Holy shit… Tamsin and Petra. That’s really obvious when you know.”

                “Hiding in plain sight…” Ice says quietly, taking another sip of his beer.

                “Yeah…” Bradley says on an exhale and wonders how old Tamsin and Petra will be when they figure it out.

CHAPTER THREE - 2002

[imzadi-caskett-huddy]

Hell Hath No Fury (21/?)

Thank you all so much for your reviews on the last chapter! If I missed responding, I apologize. I thought I had fixed the problem with notifications from the site, but apparently it really is an issue with the site and not my email. So I’m doing my best to try to keep track of the reviews I still need to respond to!

As I said in the last chapter, I’m opening this chapter with a significant time jump. So the last chapter wrapped up the July 4 holiday, and this chapter is going to start right after Labor Day.

Also, I want to give all you guys a heads-up…I won’t be posting any updates between June 5 and June 15 because I’ll be on vacation. I promise to try to post one more chapter of It Started With a Kiss before we leave, but I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to get it written and edited in time. But, I promise to post as soon as I can get something written after we get back home!

Also, Kate goes shopping for some dresses in this chapter. I am many things and can write many things, but I am not a fashion writer. So I'm posting the pics of the dress that appears in this chapter.

I still don’t own Castle…

This is the dress featured in this chapter:

xxxxx

After the Fourth of July, Kate spent most of the remainder of the summer in the Hamptons, only returning to the city for a day here and there when she had plans with Lanie or her dad. She and Castle barely spent a night apart anymore, but after returning to the city from the Hamptons on Labor Day, Kate had insisted they should each sleep at their own place that night. She needed to unpack from the summer, and Alexis was starting her senior year of high school the following day; she wasn’t going to let Castle miss that. After a lengthy goodbye at the Hamptons, they’d ridden back separately–Kate on her motorcycle and Castle in the Ferrari with Alexis, as Martha had driven the Mercedes back.

Kate didn’t regret her decision until that night when she was trying to fall asleep in her bed. It just felt…empty. She missed his presence, she missed his warmth at her back, she just missed him. But she refused to text him, knowing he’d either immediately come over or persuade her to join him at the loft, and she was determined they could handle a night apart. She knew she needed to begin reacclimating herself…and him…to daily life outside of their perfect Hamptons bubble they’d created for themselves. She knew there would be nights apart now…her job (when she returned from suspension in a couple of weeks), or his, would keep them apart sometimes, and they simply needed to start getting used to it now. That stubborn determination didn’t make it any easier to fall asleep alone, however.

That same stubborn determination is also what prevented her from texting Castle the next morning. Kate Beckett had never been a clingy girlfriend…she was not about to start now. She knew Castle would call or text her once Alexis was off to school and he’d caught up on things she was sure he’d fallen behind on while spending his summer in the Hamptons. So when he heard a knock on her door around 10, she knew exactly who it was.

She opened the door with a smile and immediately found herself being pulled into a kiss. “Hi,” Castle greeted her softly when he pulled back from the kiss a few moments later.

“Hi,” she returned with a smile, the fingers of one hand flexing against his chest. She stepped back, tugging him into her apartment and closing the door behind him.

“I missed you last night,” he admitted softly, offering her one of the coffees he had in the cup holder he was carrying.

She smiled and accepted the cup, closing her eyes as she savored a sip. No one could make her coffee like he could. She’d missed that with her own coffee that morning. “I missed you too,” she admitted. “But we can’t spend every night together. We’re back in the real world now. It’s best if we start readjusting to that now. There are just some nights we’ll have to be apart,” she reasoned.

“About that…” Castle started with a slight frown. “Gina and Paula have set up some dates for me to promote the new book.”

She hid her slight frown behind her coffee cup. She’d known it would happen sooner or later. She just thought they’d have given him a little more time to settle into being back in the city first. “Where are they sending you?” she finally asked.

“San Diego, LA, San Francisco, and Seattle,” he answered.

“That’s only 4 cities, Castle…that’s not so bad,” she tried to reassure him.

“That’s just this weekend,” he told her.

“Oh,” she wrinkled her nose.

“Then it’s Chicago, Dallas, Atlanta, and Boston. That’s next weekend.”

She placed her cup on the island and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I think I’ll survive without you for a few days,” she smiled up at him.

He pouted slightly. “But what about me? I might not survive without you.”

“Castle, that’s sweet, but you’ll be fine. We both will. We will call each other when you’re gone, and when you get back, we can make up for the nights away,” she suggested with a playful grin.

“Or…you could come with me.”

She raised an eyebrow at his suggestion. “What?”

“You could come with me. You’ve got two weeks left on your suspension. You could come with me to most of the cities. You wouldn’t be able to come to Boston, but that’s a shuttle flight out of JFK all the time. I could fly home with you from Atlanta and then fly out to Boston on Monday for the event, then fly back home that night. After that, it’s pretty much just local signings or short distances I can cover down and back on the same day.”

She studied him for a moment. “You really want me to go on your book tour? What am I supposed to do while you’re working, hmm?”

“Well, it’s not all boring. Sure, there are usually a couple of hours I’ll appear at a bookstore to sign copies of the book, but almost all of the cities have a release party. Nothing as splashy as when Heat Wave came out, but a cocktail party. You can be my date,” he smiled.

“Did you run this plan by Gina and Paula? Aren’t they worried you having a girlfriend with you is going to put a damper on your roguish playboy persona they like to use to sell your books?”

He offered her a small smile. “I don’t care what they think. Their job is to set up the events, but they don’t get to tell me who I bring. My life is my own. And I want you with me. I don’t want to be apart for that many days,” he whined slightly, his fingers lightly teasing her hips.

“And the press?” she asked. She knew dating him would involve some dealings with the press, but she had hoped to minimize it. She was a private person, and living her life, her relationship, in the papers was disconcerting to her.

He sighed softly. “There will be some press. And I can’t control all the paparazzi who might take pictures of us together. But I can control the narrative Gina and Paula put out there. So you tell me what you’re comfortable with, and that’s the official narrative that goes out,” he promised her with a smile. “If you want the official narrative to be that you and I are dating, that’s what I’ll tell them to say. But if you aren’t comfortable with that and would prefer the narrative to be that you are the inspiration for Nikki Heat, and that’s why you are at the book parties with me, then that can be the official narrative.”

“Why do we have to tell them anything?” she asked, dropping her forehead to his shoulder.

“Because if we don’t tell them something when they ask, they will engage in wild speculation,” he chuckled. “And trust me, that is so much worse than just telling them what we want the story to be.”

She took a deep breath and finally straightened up to look at him again. “Well, I don't want women thinking you’re single, so tell them we’re together,” she stated. “I’m not crazy about living my life in the papers, but I do know that sometimes comes with the territory of dating you. So I’ll get used to it,” she offered him a small smile.

“Does that mean you’ll come on the tour with me?” he asked hopefully.

“It means I’ll go this weekend. We’ll see how that goes before I agree to anything else,” she agreed.

“It will be fun, you’ll see,” he grinned, giving her a quick kiss.

She really hoped he was right because whether or not it was fun, if she was going to be with Castle, this was a part of the package. Hopefully, she’d adjust quickly and manage not to be too newsworthy.

xxxxx

“Tell me why I need 4 dresses again?” Kate asked Lanie as she stared at the rack full of dresses in the dressing room at one of Lanie’s go-to boutiques when it came to killer dresses.

Lanie simply shot her best friend a look. “Because you’re going to 4 different release parties in 4 different cities back to back to back to back. Do you want to be photographed in the same dress on back-to-back days? You’re Richard Castle’s girlfriend. Besides, it’s been ages since you bought a new dress…I know, I’ve seen your closet.”

Kate rolled her eyes in response to that. “It’s just, I’m sure I have at least a couple of dresses…”

“Uh uh,” Lanie interrupted her quickly. “Do not go there. Like I just said, I’ve seen your closet. Besides, you’re going to look amazing in at least most of these. So try them on, then we’ll narrow it down.” Seeing the look Kate shot her, Lanie sighed. “If you can’t find 4 that you look amazing in, we’ll talk about what’s in your closet, deal?”

Kate chewed her lower lip for a minute before agreeing. “Deal.” She grabbed one of the dresses and stepped behind the curtain. “I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal out of this, Lanie. Castle’s seen me naked probably a thousand times by now; he knows what's under the dress,” she continued to talk as she changed into the dress.

“But he’s never seen you at his book release party as his girlfriend, trying to be sexy for him,

and sometimes the wrapping is part of the fun,” Lanie pointed out. “And a thousand times? You two have been together, what, almost 4 months now? You’re telling me he’s seen you naked a thousand times in roughly 120 days? You guys are like rabbits, good Lord.” When she saw Kate’s head pop around the curtain with a glare, she couldn’t help but laugh. “What? I’m just saying! Sounds like you two had a nice summer.”

“We did,” Kate smiled with a slight blush on her cheeks as she stepped out from behind the curtain in the first dress. “Well?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well you look freaking amazing in that, Kate, and you know it.”

“Really?”

“Girl, I’ma smack you. Yes really! Castle’s eyes are going to pop out of his head when he sees you in that. Now you cannot honestly tell me you have anything in your closet that looks that incredible on you,” Lanie crossed her arms.

“You might be right about that,” Kate finally relented.

“Girl, I know I’m right. That one is a keeper,” she stated, grabbing the next dress and handing it to her.

By the time Kate had finished trying on the dresses an hour later, all of which Kate looked phenomenal in, Lanie had helped her narrow it down to the four she was going to get that day. As they headed toward the register with their selections, Lanie gave her a smile. “See, was this so bad?”

“I’ll let you know when I see the total,” Kate replied simply.

“Girl, please. You never splurge like this. Shut up and treat yourself for once. You’ll thank me when Castle sees you in those dresses. You need shoes to go with any of those?” she asked casually, wondering if their little impromptu shopping trip included shoe shopping as well.

Kate laughed softly. “With my collection of heels? No, I’m sure I’ve got something that will work for these.”

“What about lingerie?” Lanie teased then.

“Lanie, this is a business trip!”

“So? Doesn’t mean you two can’t have fun in your hotel room afterward,” she smirked.

Kate laughed softly. “I’m pretty sure by the time we’re done at the release party and back in our room, he’s not going to be able to keep his hands off me, so lingerie is going to be pretty much irrelevant,” she admitted. Seeing her friend’s questioning look, she looked away with a slight blush. “It will be off me and across the room before he even has a chance to register what I looked like in it,” she explained.

“Damn,” Lanie chuckled.

“I mean, I don’t know that it will always be like this, but…it still is, so…” she trailed off with a shrug and a slight smile.

“Girl, you two are like fire and gasoline. I don’t care how often you mix them, you always get the same result…explosive inferno,” she chuckled as Kate handed over her credit card to the saleswoman to pay for her dresses.

xxxxx

“Kate, the car is downstairs,” Castle called to her from his spot in the living room area of their suite where she’d banished him so that she could get ready without him slowing down her process.

“I’m almost ready,” she called back from the closed bedroom. A few moments later she stepped out of the room in a gorgeous purple dress with a plunging neckline. The skirt hit just above her knees in front but was longer in the back to the point of almost, but not quite, hitting the floor. She’d paired it with a pair of silver strap stilettos and kept her hair down with her natural waves. She’d specifically gone with this purple dress after seeing his dress shirt for the evening was a shade of purple as well.

Castle’s jaw literally dropped when he saw her. “Oh…wow…” he finally managed to stutter out. “You look…just…wow…”

She gave him a shy smile as she approached, smoothing his shirt front slightly with her fingers. “You don’t look so bad yourself, babe,” she replied softly. When he leaned in for a kiss, she stopped him with a finger to his lips. “Uh uh,” she smiled slightly at his frown. “You’ll end up wearing my lipstick, and it's definitely not your shade. Later,” she promised.

He frowned a little more but simply pressed the kiss to her cheek instead. “Later…” he murmured lowly.

She smiled at that, taking his hand and leading him out of the room.

xxxxx

Kate had to admit the walk from the car to get into the event hadn’t been as bad as she’d thought

it would be. Sure, there were photographers…and fans…outside taking pictures, and a few people had stopped Castle for some questions, but it hadn’t been nearly as bad as she’d made it out to be in her head. Once they were inside the ballroom being utilized for the event, she let her hand trail down his arm to lace their fingers. “That wasn’t as bad as I thought,” she admitted to him softly.

He grinned, bringing her knuckles up to his lips for a soft kiss. “Tomorrow night in LA will be the worst one,” he assured her. “LA and New York are always the worst. Plus, the press had no idea you were coming with me tonight. Trust me, tomorrow night will be different.” He dropped her hand then in order to grab two flutes of champagne from a passing waiter’s tray.

“Rick!” Paula came over as soon as she spotted them. “When you told me you were bringing your new girlfriend, you failed to mention you were dating Nikki Heat! I would have had more press outside,” she greeted Castle with a kiss on the cheek.

“Actually, it’s Kate,” Kate offered a smile, extending her hand.

“Paula, I’d like you to meet Kate Beckett.”

Paula took Kate’s hand with a smile. “Honey, you being here with him this weekend is going to push his book sales through the roof,” she told her. Turning back to Castle, she smirked slightly. “I guess telling you to sleep with her a couple of years ago to get her out of your system didn’t really go as planned, huh?”

“Excuse me?” Kate asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Funny story…I’ll tell you later,” Castle said quickly. “Paula, how long before the reading?” he asked, trying to change the subject. He wasn’t sure Kate would be all that thrilled about the conversation Paula had referenced.

“30 minutes. We’ll start with the reading, and then you can mingle for the rest of the evening. I’m going to go check to make sure everything is ready, and then I’ll be back for you in about 25 minutes. No hiding this time,” she told him using her fingers to gesture that she had her eyes on him as she walked away.

“So that’s Paula,” Kate took a sip of the champagne, watching Paula walk away for a moment before turning her attention back to Castle.

He nodded. “That’s Paula.”

“So you wanna tell me what she meant?” she asked him then.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he tried to maintain his innocence.

“Uh-huh. That funny story you said you’d tell me later. It’s later, and I’d love a laugh.”

Castle swallowed a large drink of his champagne. “It’s really funny,” he assured her, even giving a chuckle. “At the Heat Wave party a couple of years ago, she thought you were just an infatuation I had, and that I needed to get you out of my system. So she told me to sleep with you so I could go sign the Bond deal. Obviously, I didn’t listen to her…” he studied her for a reaction then. When she said nothing, he began to get nervous. “I mean, you were never just an infatuation…or someone that I wanted to get out of my system…not that I can get you out of my system…I mean, you so obviously aren’t something to just get out of my system…”

The way he stumbled over his words amused her, and she finally cracked a smile as she took another sip of her champagne. “Relax, Castle. I know it wasn’t you who said it. She’s a little uncouth…I’m not going to hold what she says against you,” she promised him. “Ironically enough, I probably would have slept with you that night had you not pissed me off…maybe even then if you had played your cards right,” she informed him with a playful smile.

He had to do a double-take at her words. “You…you would?”

She nodded, moving a little closer to him, letting her fingers toy with the lapel on his jacket. “In fact, when you came over while I was reading the dedication, I kinda hoped you were going to make a move. Imagine my disappointment when you brought up the case,” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“I…oh…uh, you…you were?” he swallowed hard at the look she was giving him and how close she still was to him.

“I was.”

“But I thought…” he started, but he wasn’t really sure how to finish that thought.

She couldn’t help the soft giggle that escaped. “You’re really not very good at reading women’s signals if they aren’t throwing themselves at you, are you?” she asked, clearly amused.

He shook his head. “Apparently I am not.”

Another giggle escaped as her fingers lightly traced the outline of his lapel again before she used it to pull him even closer to her. “I guess I’ll just have to throw myself at you later,” she husked lowly in his ear, giving him a wicked grin and a soft kiss before taking a step back from him, leaving him stunned and speechless.

That was the moment Paula returned. “Time to go, Rick,” she stated, grabbing his arm and tugging the still-flustered man toward where he would get ready to do his reading in a few moments. Meanwhile, Kate grabbed another glass of champagne from a waiter and moved toward the back of the crowd to enjoy his reading without distracting him.

xxxxx

After the reading, Castle kept her by his side the rest of the night, using his hand on her back or his hand in hers to keep her close, except for the times one or the other of them had excused themselves to the restroom. Even then, as soon as they were within each other’s orbit again, Castle would pull her back to his side. It didn’t matter who he was talking to, he always introduced her as his girlfriend, Kate, before he would begin the conversation, and he made sure she was included in any conversation she actually wished to be a part of…and probably a few she would have rather just listened to. He knew this was not her type of event, and the last thing he wanted to do was have her uncomfortable or leave her to fend off the sharks by herself.

Once he was sure they’d stayed long enough to satisfy Paula and his commitment to the event, he turned to her with a grin. “Ready to get out of here?” he asked her.

She returned his grin with a smile of her own. “Yes.” She’d been ready to leave an hour ago, but she wasn't going to push him to leave his event. As much as she enjoyed watching him in his element, she was not a fan of small talk or forced conversations with people who normally wouldn’t even give her the time of day. She did have a few laughs that she managed to keep to herself, though, at the women who seemed rather disappointed he had shown up with a girlfriend. She was sure they’d most likely secured tickets to the event with the hopes they would be the lucky girl he’d be leaving the event with.

Once he’d slid into the car next to her, she leaned over and kissed him softly. “Thank you for not signing any chests tonight,” she smiled.

He chuckled. “I’d be happy to sign your chest if you’d like,” he grinned, pulling his Sharpie out of his jacket pocket.

“Castle, you’re not signing my chest!” she couldn’t help but laugh. “It would be obvious in all the dresses I brought with me, and although I am proud to be your girlfriend, I am not walking into your release parties with your signature on my chest,” she shook her head with another laugh.

“What about…other body parts? Can I sign those?” he asked with a playful smile.

She tugged her lower lip between her teeth as she considered his question. “Are you offering me a private autograph session, Mr. Castle?” she asked, her voice husky at the thought.

His eyes darkened slightly at the tone of her voice. “I am. Are you interested?”

“I might be able to think of a few places I’d like you to sign,” she smiled.

He grinned a little. “Oh yeah?”

She nodded. “Yeah,” she leaned in to kiss him, brushing her tongue past his lips to stroke against his.

By the time they got back to their hotel suite, it was all they could do to get through the door before their mouths were devouring each other. She shoved his suit jacket off his shoulders and let it hit the floor, but when his fingers began trying to find the zipper of her dress, she stepped back out of his grasp. She unzipped her own dress as she walked toward the bedroom, letting it slowly fall down her body, carefully stepping out of it as she walked and catching it before it could hit the floor.

Castle stood, completely mesmerized by her until he heard, “Castle, bring your Sharpie!” called in a seductive tone from the bedroom. He nearly tripped over his feet in his haste to grab it from the pocket of his jacket on the floor and join her in the bedroom.

xxxxx

Hopefully, you guys enjoyed this chapter!

Also, remember I won’t be able to post another update to this until after June 15 because I’ll be on vacation from June 5 to 15, and I’m going to try to get another chapter of It Started With a Kiss done before I leave.

I look forward to hearing what you guys think for those who choose to leave comments!

[crabsnpersimmons]

hi @uwuinhell!

i have a bit of a long answer to this, so i hope you don’t mind me replying as a post, just in case anyone else is curious

the tl;dr is: i'm planning to write a fic for this AU, but i'm happy to read your fic as well with proper credit

first thing is: i’m overjoyed by the positive response to this little AU! it’s definitely been occupying my mind as i’ve been studying (Eclipse is notably the most distracting) so i’m glad there’s an interest in such a simple premise—i was honestly hesitant to call it an AU at first by how simple an idea it is

that being said, i’ve been hinting at it a bit in some of my tags, but i am planning to write a fic for this AU it’s still in the planning and drabble stage, but there is definitely a story that i’m hoping to share. unfortunately, i am currently attempting to speedrun a 2 year program, so my time is short—and my leisure time is split between my other competing ideas and inhaling other people’s creative works to revive me after my daily readings

i will say that the AU has evolved quite a bit since my initial drawings—new designs, more background info, and a healthy dose of lore and trauma for the entire main cast—so there’s a lot i’m excited to share with you all

THAT BEING SAID, i am always eager to encourage other people’s creativity and i am so honoured that my little doodles can inspire people to be creative. so i would absolutely love to see your fic, i just ask that you:

credit me if it uses my designs and ideas; and

send me a link so i can read it, because i will read it and i will treasure it and do a silly little dance

in case anyone's curious, here are some not-too-spoilery notes about what i’m planning:

the working title is “New Do, Same You” (honestly still iffy about it—it fits the story but it doesn’t quite ring well, we’ll see if i keep it)

it’s a slice of life story about how we respond to change, dusting ourselves off and moving forward, while carrying the baggage and fragile trinkets that define us

off the top of my head, these are some relevant tags: Slow Burn, Romance, Polyamory, Hurt & Comfort, Drama, Slice of Life, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Kissing (eventually), Humour, Possessive Behaviour, Healthy and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Inferiority Complex, Body Dysmorphia, Existential Dread, Fluff, nothing NSFW

will likely default to a T rating, but will bump up to M for heavier topics

it will definitely be more than 5 chapters long. i don’t have an estimate on how long the fic will be. it's nothing too grand but i do know it will need quite a bit of time in order to properly explore all 3 of the boys and Y/N

there will be a Y/N, and Y/N has some lore, but other than some key backstory and key areas of development, i try to keep them gender neutral and as ambiguous as possible

i’ll be sharing the updated designs and some drabbles here when i have time—as soon as i can! (a little sneak peak is actually scheduled to post sometime today!)

i’ll also admit that this is my first time planning to write such a big fic and the first time i’m considering sharing it with other fans! my writing muse is very shy, so please be patient with me

in the meantime, please accept this (admittedly outdated) doodle of the boys:

[destinedfordiaperstories]

Sammy's Little Problem, Chapter 11

Read Chapter Ten here.

The Little Registration Agent smiled as she saw Alyssa and Sammy return. “How can I help you today?”

Alyssa and Sammy sat in the chairs in front of her. “I’d like to register as her Caregiver. She was just classified as a Level Two Little.”

“No problem,” the agent responds, “can I see both of your IDs? Thank you.”

The agent starts typing in the information into the computer. “Okay, yes, I have her file here. Samantha is listed as an L2. And you said you’d like to register as her Caregiver, not Guardian, correct.

“Yes, Caregiver,” Alyssa responds.

“No problem,” the agent responds, “you have read and understand all the obligations and responsibilities that registering as a Caregiver entails, have you not?”

“Yes, I have,” Alyssa responds.

“Okay,” the agent says as the printer whirls to life, “I’ll need both of you to sign here…great. And I will notarize it now. Done. Okay, as soon as I scan that in the system, you will officially be registered as Samantha’s Caregiver.”

Tears well in Alyssa’s eyes as the notarized paper is scanned. She looks over at Sammy. Sammy timidly smiles back, grabbing Alyssa’s hand as she notices Alyssa’s tears.

“Thank you, Allie. I love you so much. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“I love you, too, Sammy. Always.”

“Great, now that that is finished, you are officially a Caregiver, Alyssa! Now, just a few more things and you’ll both be done. First, we need new pictures of you both for your updated ID cards.”

With the pictures taken, the agent leaves to collect the new cards. When he comes back, she hands one to Alyssa.

“Your ID is essentially identical to your last, Alyssa. Same basic driver’s license, but with your Caregiver status listed there along with Samantha’s information.”

The agent hands the second one to Alyssa. “Here is Samantha’s Little Identification Card. It is important you carry it with you. Or whoever is caring for Samantha. Obviously, Samantha’s previous driver’s license has been rescinded. This new ID reflects her Level Two Little status, your information as Caregiver, and can be used as a bank card to cover any expenses if necessary. You may connect it to your bank later.”

Sammy looks at the card, more tears welling in her eyes. She didn’t even think about driving. But now it’s just another privilege she lost. She tries her best to not cry again.

“And finally,” the agent says, “here is your government stipend card for all new littles. The government covers most of the initial expenses for new Littles. It should cover the cost of one month of diapers, a new bed or crib, a changing table, the government mandated Little’s car seat and installation, as well as a head start on a new wardrobe and any accessories.”

“Thank you, understood,” Alyssa says.

“Now, you have 72 hours to schedule your car seat installation. If you fail to do so, you will receive a daily fine. And if your Little is not riding in it after that time, you will receive a hefty fine and ticket. You can arrange installation at Littles’R’Us, the government’s preferred Little’s retailer.”

“Understood,” Allie says.

“Now, unless you have any other questions, you are all set!”

“Nope, none from us. Thank you for your assistance!”

As they walk out of the Littles Registration Office, Alyssa stops and gives Sammy a massive hug and a kiss on the forehead. “I know that was all so much to handle all at once, Sammy. I’m so proud of you! You were so mature about all of it.”

Sammy just sighs. The whiplash for the last hour and a half clearly overwhelming her.

“How about this, Sammy. We don’t need to worry about any of this for the rest of the day. We can handle everything later. How about we go back home, you take a nap and forget about everything. I’ll call my parents and Lindsay and we can have a movie night. We can go shopping for you later if you want. How does that sound?”

“W-will I have to wear my diapers there, Allie?” Sammy whines.

“Let’s see how you do for the rest of your day. But if you do, I promise I won’t tell my parents or Lindsay you’re in diapers. It will be our little secret.”

“Okay, Allie. A movie does sound fun!”

Twenty minutes later, Sammy is fast asleep. Alyssa calls her parents.

“Hey Mom, it’s official, I’m a Caregiver!” Alyssa rejoiced.

“Oh my gosh, honey, I’m so proud of you! I’ve always known you’d make the best Caregiver when the time came! Sammy doesn’t know how lucky she is!”

“I’m the lucky one, Mom! But listen, today has already been extremely difficult on Sammy. I think I made a mistake by bringing her to the Littles Registration office so soon. Sammy got one look at all the Littles and had a very messy accident right in the waiting area.”

“Oh, the poor thing. How did she handle it?”

“Not very well, not that I blame her. I never wanted her first time in diapers to happen so publicly. But I think it’s safe to say she’ll be in diapers full time from now on.”

“I’m so sorry sweetie, I know you’d hoped for a bit longer before that happened. But it was inevitable.”

“I know, but it’s here now. And listen, to calm her down after, I told her I’d see if we can do a movie night as a family—and that I wouldn’t tell any of you about her diapers. So can you let Dad and Linds know so they can pretend Sammy’s not in diapers, at least for tonight?”

“That’s very sweet of you, Alyssa. I’ll let them know. What kinds of movies should I pick out? Do you only want movies appropriate for Littles tonight?”

“I think she deserves one last night of normalcy, Mom. We can worry about Little stuff in a day or two.”

“Sounds good, she is your Little after all! I’m still so proud! I’ll see you both tonight!”

Go to Chapter Twelve.

[suddenlybambi]

as long as you stay here [3] ♥ kyle broflovski

pairing : kyle broflovski x reader

college AU - 18+

tags : strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, angst, alcohol, afab reader, she/her pronouns, eventual smut

words : 2.6k

chapter 3

previous | next | alaysh masterlist

a/n - this will likely be the last daily update for now - i have 3 more chapters written so far but i like to keep on top in case i end up falling ill so i don't leave y'all without a chapter for a whole week! - next update will likely be friday (or thursday if i have a lot of motivation!)

thank you to everyone who has supported this story so far 🥰

Y/N was relieved to be back in the apartment, where it was mostly quiet. Just the sounds of the street outside the window that never closed properly could be heard. 

She grabbed the remote, deciding the TV was the most obvious thing to use to entertain her new guest. While she and Kyle had bonded over their mutual disdain for the club, she didn’t know much else about him.

She flicked the power button a few times, groaning in realisation. “Andddd… The TV is broken again!” She put the remote down on the side and tried to unplug and replug the TV in, but it didn’t help. “Clyde has been here one day, and he’s already done something to it.”

“How old is that thing?” Kyle looked in slight awe at the TV. It was one of the first models of ‘flatscreen’ TVs, but it was still three times the width of any TV for sale in stores in the present day. 

“It was Bebe’s grandma’s. It got 10 whole channels, but we managed to rig a fire tv stick up to it,” Y/N explained, trying the remote one last time. “Unfortunately, I’m afraid that is all we have in the way of guest entertainment. That is unless you fancy taking a look at Bebe’s gossip magazine collection that has taken over the coffee table?” 

“I’ll pass, I think?” Kyle laughed awkwardly, looking down at the selection. “As tempting as it is to find out… Which Kardashian has the most expensive nose?”

“That leaves two options that I can think of. You can crash in the spare bed in what was Wendy’s room until they return from clubbing,” She gestured down the hall to the open door to the room that had once been Wendy’s room. It now only housed a double bed and an empty dresser. “Or you can join me in my room while I watch a nature documentary, and we can do sudokus together?”

“Definitely living up to the party animal part of the party-hating party animal title.” Kyle teased, but she could tell he wasn’t genuinely making fun of her. “I mean, a nature documentary? Sudokus? What a wild night.” 

“We could watch something else if that’s too hardcore for you? Maybe do a word search or spot the difference instead?” 

“I think I can just about handle it. I’ll let you know if it is too much for me.”

“I don’t have a couch in my room. You don’t feel awkward sitting on the bed, do you?”

“What is a bed but just a longer couch?”

“Wow! I didn’t realise I was in the presence of such a magnificent philosopher!” Y/N laughed, leading the way to her room. She was glad that Kyle was open to joking around with her, as it made the fact that they would be spending the following hours together a little less awkward. 

She opened the door to her bedroom, glad she had cleaned up a little the day before since it had been a bit of a mess. There were still textbooks everywhere and about five mugs on the side that she swore she would take to the kitchen to clean, but that was about it. Her bed was even made for once. “Whales or birds?” 

“Birds,” Kyle decided after a second of consideration.

“That is absolutely the correct choice!” Y/N grinned. She jumped onto her bed, lunging over it to grab the remote control. She scooted over to the side so Kyle could sit next to her, which he did, leaving a respectful amount of space in between them. She pulled the multiple sudoku books from her bedside table drawer and laid them out on the bed, grabbing a couple of the pens she had on the side.

“You don’t actually have to do any sudokus if you don’t want to,” She clarified, picking up the one she had last been working on and flipping to the next empty one. “My phone charger is next to you if you need it.”

“Thanks, I’m on 5%,” He leaned over the side of the bed to retrieve the charger and plug his phone in. “Honestly, I’d rather do a sudoku than anything else,” He admitted, picking up one of the books and flipping to the next free page. Y/N turned on the documentary about birds that she had planned to watch, and they sat in peaceful quiet. She knew she had made the right choice leaving with Kyle, and she didn’t for a single second regret suggesting that he came back to hers while the others enjoyed the rest of the night.

The buzzing of her phone in her bra startled Y/N awake. She had to blink her eyes a few times to register her surroundings. Feeling a weight on her shoulder, she turned her head to see that Kyle had fallen asleep as well, resting his head on her.

She didn’t want to wake him, so she tried to move carefully and gently to pull her phone out and check why it buzzed. She was met with a text from Bebe.

bebe 💋 : weere on way howme now b 10 mins 

bebe 💋 : wend and stan r going to stay at oirs in old room

bebe 💋 : so skyle will have to satay or get cab home allone 

Y/N could barely make out the words Bebe was typing but just about managed to translate that Wendy and Stan would be staying in Wendy’s old room, so Kyle would either have to stay over or get a cab home by himself.

She turned her head again to look at the sleeping boy on her shoulder. Would he want to go home? Where would he sleep if he stayed? She would probably let him stay like that on her shoulder all night had the impending interruption from the others coming home not been looming in the distance; he looked so peaceful. 

She checked the time, it was 1am, but she was starving.

y/n 💕 : are we getting food?

bebe 💋 : we caan order in whene home xzxzxxx

Satisfied with that answer, she set her phone down on the bed.

“Kyle?” Y/N carefully nudged her shoulder to try and wake him up in the most gentle way she could so as not to startle him. It worked as he slowly lifted his head and yawned.

“Sorry for falling asleep,” He mumbled, yawning a second time. He had the slightest red tinge on his face as he realised he had been resting against her.

“No worries, I did too,” She confessed, now yawning herself. “Bebe just texted, and there has been a change of plans. Wendy and Stan are staying in Wendy’s old room tonight, so you can either stay here or get a cab home by yourself?” She didn’t particularly like the idea of him getting a cab home alone at that time of night, particularly if he would be returning to an empty apartment.

“Where would I sleep?” He asked. She could tell he didn’t really want to go back to his apartment alone.

“The couch hurts like hell, but that’s an option, or you can just sleep in here,” She shrugged, sitting up properly as she realised the dress had ridden up in her sleep, and she was a small movement away from accidentally flashing him. She tried to casually pull it down as much as possible. “I don’t mind. We’ve already proved we can both sleep here, and you don’t seem like a creep.” 

“Thanks, neither do you… I’ll stay here,” He nodded sleepily, sitting himself up with her. “Do you know if Clyde has any clothes I can change into? These jeans are uncomfortable to sleep in. My legs feel dead.”

“I don’t know how much of his stuff Clyde has moved in yet, or where it would be,” Y/N swung her legs over the bed and stood up, stretching a little. “I probably have something; hold on.” 

“Your dress is- uh-“ Kyle stuttered a little and diverted his attention to the ceiling to avoid looking at Y/N’s exposed behind.

“Shit, I am so sorry,” She sighed, trying to pull the dress down to cover her again. “This is Bebe’s dress. I’m not used to it.”

“No worries,” He looked at her again once it was safe, watching as she crossed the room and rifled through her dresser, pulling a couple of pairs of sweatpants and a few t-shirts out.

“Take your pick,” She threw them onto the end of the bed. “My mom wanted to throw my older brother’s clothes out when he went travelling, but I just repopulated my wardrobe with them.” Kyle grabbed some at random, as did Y/N. She usually wore the hand-me-downs to sleep. “Bathroom is down the hall, and it’s the first door to the left.”

Kyle made his way to the bathroom slowly and sleepily. He got changed into the borrowed clothes that were just slightly too big on his slim frame but very comfortable. They were perfect to sleep in. Once changed, he found his way back to Y/N’s room, where she was pulling her shirt on.

“Sorry!” He diverted his eyes again, realising he’d waltzed in unannounced while she was changing.

“I accidentally flashed my whole ass at you a minute ago because of that scrap of fabric Bebe calls a dress, don’t worry about it,” Y/N laughed, grabbing a wipe to rid herself of the makeup Bebe had put on her. It had smudged a little in her sleep, the eyeliner and mascara pooling under her eyes, making her look more tired than she already felt. “They’re going to order some food in when they get here. You hungry?”

“Starving,” Kyle nodded, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Any idea where from?”

“We always pretend to look at the options for five minutes before deciding on that burger place Kenny works for,” She explained, tying her hair back to keep it out of her face. “The fries are so greasy but so good. We’re lucky we get a friends and family discount with the amount we spend in there.”

“Kenny stops by with food from there on game nights. It’s the best,” He agreed with a small smile.

The sound of a key struggling to unlock the front door rang through the apartment before the 4 friends stumbled in.

“Whooo! Let’s keep this party going!” Clyde cheered loudly, still clutching what appeared to be a bottle of beer, spilling a bit on himself either without noticing or without caring.

“Shh!” Y/N left her room to greet them, followed closely by Kyle. “We have enough noise complaints from the neighbours as it is!”

“And who’s fault is that?” Bebe asked, looking at Y/N smugly. She didn’t seem as drunk in person as she was over text, but Bebe was great at putting on a poker face.

“My one-woman opera in the shower has had many five-star reviews,” Y/N joked. “It’s not my fault our neighbours have no taste.”

“I thought you were being murdered and almost broke the door down,” Stan seemed slightly more sober than the rest of the group but still out of it. He must not have drunk as much after they had left.

“You wouldn’t know true art if it hit you in the face!” She retorted. 

“Yes, I-” Wendy cut Stan off before he could finish what he was saying.

“Don’t!” She held him back. “You’re just asking her to slap you in the face… Again.”

“That was one time!” Y/N protested. “And he baited me into it.”

“You’re staying?” Bebe pointed at Kyle, changing the subject. He nodded in confirmation. She looked him up and down, recognising the clothes to be Y/N’s. A sly smile crossed her lips. “What have you two been up to?” The implications were clear in her voice, but Y/N decided to brush them off without even openly acknowledging them.

“We watched a nature documentary, did sudokus, and then fell asleep until you texted,” Y/N shrugged, knowing that telling the truth would be the best option. Even drunk, Bebe could spot a lie from a mile away. “Did you know that there is a bird in Papua, New Guinea that’s poisonous?”

“The Pitohui,” Kyle added. Y/N smiled at him, happy he had actually paid attention and absorbed some knowledge.

Clyde and Stan whispered something to one another, dissolving in fits of giggles at whatever it was. Y/N knew better than to engage and just ignored them. “Okay, everyone, get your food orders written down somewhere while I grab water and aspirin for you all.” 

“Thanks, Mom!” Stan said sarcastically.

“Fine, then you can suffer,” She rolled her eyes and disappeared to the bathroom to grab the aspirin. She returned to the shared kitchen living space to see that Kyle had already started to get water for everyone. “I have rehydration things somewhere around here.” She mumbled, looking through the cupboards until she found what she was looking for.

“Are you guys seeing this?” Stan pointed at the pair as they prepared the rehydration drinks and aspirin. “This is why I said they needed to meet up. They’re both totally lame.”

“Staniel, we can hear you,” Y/N sighed, grabbing a glass in either hand and passing one to Stan and one to Wendy while Kyle did the same for Bebe and Clyde. “Drink this, take these, thank us later when you only feel slightly shit in the morning instead of completely shit.”

“Have you ordered the food yet?” Clyde groaned, slouching on the sofa. “I’m so hungry.”

“You haven’t given me your orders yet,” Y/N pointed out, but Bebe waved her phone around.

“I started a group chat, and they are in there,” She announced, collapsing on top of Clyde on the couch. “It’s called best friends because that’s what we are.” Y/N sighed and made her way to her room to grab her phone, as she had left it on the bed after Bebe texted her on their way home. Kyle trailed after her, having left his own phone on charge in there.

Y/N checked her messages to see a new group chat had indeed been made and was already flooded with poorly spelt food requests. She assumed the one number she didn’t have saved was Kyle’s, so she quickly saved it under ‘kyle 📗’.

“Here, just add what you want,” She passed her phone over to Kyle after she had input everyone else’s requests. He flicked through and added what he wanted, passing it back to her with a smile.

“Mind if I stay in here while we wait for the food?” He asked, looking over at the door to make sure it was closed. “When Clyde is drunk, he’s a little….”

“Loud? Annoying? More so than usual?” Y/N suggested the descriptions. Kyle nodded a little hesitantly. “Stay in here all you like, dude. I’m staying here as well if that’s okay with you?”

“It’s your room,” He laughed a little. “You don’t have to ask if it's okay with me.”

“Yeah, well, you’re the guest,” She shrugged in response, sitting down on her bed. Kyle followed suit, sitting down next to her. He was so careful in his movements, as if he was worried he was doing something wrong. If Y/N had to be honest, it was a little cute. “I’d bet $10 on Clyde passing out before the food even gets here.”

“I’ll add another $10 for Stan passing out too.”

a/n - let me know if you would like to be on the taglist for this fic

current taglist - @n0tangeliccc @solana-central @charqing-qing @eiizabeth-torres @hand-writxen @audiliah

[the-wip-project]

SloMo WriNo: Outlining and Tracking

it's November Ist! The big day is here!

Hopefully you have your minimum and maximum word count goals set, and have found a good time to fit in your writing. Now it's time to start writing.

I have a few final (well not final, I’ll be making a lot more posts!) suggestions to help you stay on track.

Firstly, regarding outlines. Now you may have noticed that I haven’t really talked about outlines before now. That’s because I am a pure discovery writer, or pantser. That is, I don’t even think about outlining before I start writing. If you are someone who likes having one made in advance, I assume that you have found and used one of the excellent methods that others have created.

That is not what I’m talking about here.

I’m talking about what you do while writing. I believe that building an outline as you write is an absolutely essential part of the process of writing a novel, even if you, like me, never ever prepare one in advance.

What I want you to do is this. Each day after you have written, write a few sentence description of what you’ve written. Do this even if you have an outline already, do this especially if what you’ve written diverges from your previously prepared outline. The goal is to create an outline of what you’ve actually written.

I like to use the index card function on Scrivener for this, because it becomes the chapter and scene titles so my outline in progress is right there in the sidebar of my document and easy to refer to. (Yet another reason I highly recommend Scrivener) But you can do it in whatever function your program has, a separate google doc, or even on physical paper.

I’ve found nothing keeps a novel on track like an ongoing outline. So please give it a go!

Secondly, there's the matter of tracking your word count. Of course all programs will give you an ongoing total word count. Some will also track your daily word counts for you.

Still, I find it helpful to track my daily word count separately. It keeps me honest, and something about the process of manually updating a tracker makes it all feel official. There’s a few ways to do this.

A spreadsheet. (feel free to make a copy of this one to use)

Track yourself in an app (I've been liking this one)

Join the WIP discord and report your word count in the check-in channel.

No matter what method you choose, keeping an eye on your daily progress will help you tweak your schedule to continue making writing most days a priority.

So that’s it! Create an ongoing outline, keep track of your word count and get busy writing your novel!

And don’t forget to keep me updated on your progress. Use the tag #slomowrino on your posts, send me an ask, or @ me on the WIP discord.

[a-very-fond-farewell]

WIP tag game!!!

Lamb Loose 👁️👁️ (u know me very well)

(hehe I do know you dear 👀)

so, I will try to use my (nonexistent) pitching abilities to both: 1) introduce new people to what I’m currently working on; and 2) give you (yes you Fifi) some more intel to munch on while you wait for the next update. let’s see how it goes.

1) how it began:

it was a dark and stormy night when I finished the drama Evilive, in mid-November of last year, and I couldn’t sleep. for days I couldn’t stop thinking about the characters and I decided to put my Word of Honor big fic on hold to give this new fandom a chance. the plan was to finish everything around the 80k words mark but.. oh boi. I knew myself. I knew I wasn’t gonna cut it, verbose as I am, so I decided to be diligent about it: I took 1 month to plan this fic at the best of my abilities before I started typing like a maniac on my laptop.

at the end of the month I posted the first chapter and since then I woke up at 5am (almost) every single day to chip away at this project. long story short: it changed my life. not in a big way, it didn’t magically get me a super fancy job or a stable paycheck. none of that. but it made my life significantly better.

because you have to know that, before I decided waking up at 5am was a good idea, I was so used to be dreading the new day that it was messing with my brain. I didn’t want to go to sleep because “then another day would have started” without me enjoying myself even a little bit. but the difference between going to sleep at 3am (to wake at 7) and going to sleep at 11pm (to wake at 5) made me look forward to the new day time and time again. that way, if I manage to fall asleep on the right time every day, I get to start a new morning doing what I love most: writing.

this came at a cost, however, bc apparently waking super early is bad for my blood pressure (?? rude and biphobic of my body to do me so dirty, if you ask me >:/ like.. hello??) and I get (almost daily now) a sensible energy drop around lunchtime but it’s worth it in my book. this fic turned me into an optimist and I’ve always been a realist at best.

cons of this project: the fandom is tiny. so tiny infact that there are not many “work in progress” fics besides mine on ao3 ;—; I remember this being the case for Beyond Evil too, even if I was just a casual reader at the time, back when it first aired: we were starving for new content and I recall translating Korean fanfics into English just to have someto dig my teeth into xD

moreover, I tend not to read for the fandom I’m writing for, because I’m a sponge and (like my friend Amethystina said once) “I don’t want to accidentally steal someone else’s idea” just because I have shit memory (I’ll admit I caved at the beginning of 2024 bc I was in a bad place mentally and I read a couple of one-shots on Evilive, it’s ok, ik. I forgot the majority of them anyway, I just know they were lovely and their authors very smart indeed). so it’s a very lonely process! I churn up content, I don’t consume content, I wait for comments, I joyfully reply to comments and then, if I want more human interaction I have to (*checks*) come up with more content?? ahah. Ik it doesn’t work like that, and that I have to put effort in talking with other people in the fandom for it to become larger.. but this is why I do these tag games :D to engage with other lovely people in fun activities like these! good thing this fic keeps me going, bc I would be lost without it.

the general plot idea comes from a need I wanted to see fulfilled: I wanted to read a story about a group of women going apeshit crazy on the world. no repercussions, absolute power, no remorse. women from different levels of society, different ethnicities, different nationalities, different sexualities just.. being allowed to do whatever they wanted. I wanted to explore the pros and cons of such circumstances and yet I didn’t want it to be merely focused on that alone. I also wanted to point out how every person is capable of evil and that there still needs to be a moment in our life when we choose to be better instead.

one thing that made me side-eye Evilive specifically was.. well, the lack of women. there are 3 adult women in the whole drama taking some sort of role inside the story and all of them felt rich with the implication of a personality underneath, but no actual character to be seen. I love all 3 of them, from the “wife”, to the “mother”, to the “femme fatale” as they are, yet they still are flat compared to the other people in the show, even the more stereotypically evil or corrupt among them. I needed more, so more I made.

in addition to this, I really wanted to write from the point of view of a nasty, selfish man who has been corrupted by power long enough to have forgotten how to be human again. someone who believes they can fix it all by taking revenge on the person who turned them into a monster.. not realizing they had the potential to become a monster all along and never noticed.

Lamb Loose may be a “fix-it” of sorts based on the happenings (and the finale) of Evilive, but I also think it can be some sort of Atonement Arc rather than a Redemption Arc all in all: just because you become self-aware of the evil deeds you’ve put in motion and want to be better now.. doesn’t mean you can redeem yourself for the sorrow you caused. and, sometimes I also like characters who don’t change in their (evil/selfish) ways but somehow still learn to broaden their perspective after meeting new people. restoring one’s trust in humanity is hard, but maybe it can start by looking into our own selves and look for humanity within us first and foremost.

Han Dong Soo as a character seemed the best option for me, even if it is challenging to write from his POV at times. some of the things he thinks and does are truly horrendous to me personally, but it’s a necessary step towards understanding someone as bad as him in my opinion. not to justify his actions, but to learn how to recognize them in other people instead.

there’s also horny thoughts, not gonna lie, but those feel more like an extension of all that Han Dong Soo as a person has repressed along the years. so, in a way, the sexual tension is just another character in the script, unnamed and all-encompassing, but never at the center itself. since Han Dong Soo is also an unreliable narrator, I can play with him and make the reader question everything he is going through at the same time, which is fun to me :)

2) a treat for Fifi bc she was patient and read to this point eheh:

dear, ch16 may not be full of plot-relevant quests but there’s a lot of yearning involved 👀 and I know it’s tough to wait for something more juicy to happen 😥😔 but I’m finally seeing the end of the big draft (working on ch31 now, aiming to finish the whole thing at ch40 ending a ch37 was too optimistic of me apparently ahah) and I promise you it will be absolutely worth it.

sometimes I feel very dejected about this project, bc it’s taking forever and I absolutely want to finish it before the end of the year :(

but your constant support and care are one of the reasons I keep going 💪😤💘 your art is extraordinary in itself, but your enthusiasm for this fic truly has made me appreciate living in the moment and enjoy the process more and more. so thank you dear for always cheering me on and for indulging me with your lovely comments and messages :)

I’ll see you very soon :D (I’ll reply to your comments and DMs as soon as possible! but I wanted to give you a little something today)

- Niki out :*

[wcbweblog]

WELCOME!

WHAT IS ‘WHAT COULD BE WORTH ETERNITY,?

What Could Be Worth Eternity?, or wcbwe for short, is an art/storytelling project of mine! I currently have a comic (very early stage) in-the-works, as well as some writing and other art pieces. In short, wcbwe is what I call the original universe that holds a number of stories and characters I want to share!

OH, SO THIS BLOG IS FOR THAT COMIC?

………not exactly, unfortunately. The comic is still very early in its production, and as the only person working on it, progress is slow going. I think taking the extra time will be worth it in the end, but I’m biased lol. As it stands, this blog is not specifically for the comic in the works, but when I am ready to start posting pages, this is where it’ll happen!

…ALRIGHT. THEN WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS BLOG? WHY THE COUNTDOWN, IF THE BIG PROJECT ISN’T GOING TO BE READY FOR A WHILE?

Wait, countdown? For anyone who doesn’t know, for about two months, I was doing a… daily, countdown on my main blog, and it ended today, 2023.08.28, the day this blog goes up.

To be honest – the countdown wasn’t for this. In fact I’m writing out this lil intro post the day it’s supposed to go up while at work haha! I am incredibly unprepared. The countdown was to something at work (that never ended up happening, to my knowledge), I think we were supposed to do some sort of… media blackout? Like I said, it didn’t happen, so it doesn’t really matter. But, well, a couple of my moots saw the countdown and got curious, and I thought ‘well I should do something on tumblr, too!’. So here we are. Art blog! Yup, this is an art (and sometimes writing) blog centered around the wcbwe universe. Right now the plan is to update every Monday, but that’s subject to change because I have no clue what my uni schedule is yet XD

YEAH YEAH COOL. GO BACK TO THAT COMIC FOR A MINUTE?

Ah yes. The comic. My pride and joy, should I actually manage to stick with the project. Like I said, it’s still very early in its production; only the prologue and first chapter have been scripted, and only half the prologue has been storyboarded. And it’s going to be a very long comic, so that’s not a lot. I’d prefer to have the whole thing, or almost the whole thing, storyboarded before I start making pages. If you want an estimate? I’d say it’ll be about a year or more before I can start posting pages.

OKAY, SO IF YOU WEREN’T PREPARED TO START THIS BLOG, WHY DO IT?

Well, there’s no time like the present! I need somewhere to organize my thoughts and concepts for the universe, story, and characters, and I’m hoping having a dedicated blog might motivate me to sort out my ideas haha.

*INSERT FANCY LIL PROGRESS BAR HERE*

Wow! What was the progress again? Not to worry! I’ll keep the progress updated here :]

scripted up to chapter 4

21/? pages storyboarded

0/? pages completed

IF THIS IS AN ART BLOG, WHAT KIND OF ART WILL YOU BE POSTING?

In short, anything wcbwe related! Digital art, traditional art, short writing things, animations, concept art, storyboard sketches, etc. etc. Anything I make that has to do with the wcbwe universe will end up on here eventually! Not all of it will be Quality Art TM lol

ALRIGHT, BUT WHAT’S THE STORY ABOUT?

I don’t want to get too into spoilers, especially since I don’t have most of the plot ironed out yet. Up until the comic’s production is further along, the main focus here will be on worldbuilding and designs. With that said – you might be able to put together pieces of the plot with the art provided! I’ve got a couple big pieces coming up that have some kinda major spoilers. I just don’t want to actually talk about the plot things until I know what I’m doing. With that in mind, some art might end up getting retconned in the final production. Though, there’ll be a liiiiiiiitle plot sneak peak at the end of this post. Very small :p (it comes with art!)

ASKS ARE WELCOME!

Idk haha, if you’ve got anything to say, or any questions, drop an ask! It might take me some time to answer or I might want to save it for whatever reason, but I’ll answer eventually! Oh – asks are exempt from the Monday Updates btw! I’ll answer them whenever I answer them :3

…oh yeah I should probably mention. C a t s. (also tags are in the. tags-)

Without further ado – welcome to What Could Be Worth Eternity? Let’s dive in.

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Arceli dies.

And then she doesn’t.

[karinrumi]

Hi!

It’s very weird to write a post here after so long. However, there are a few updates to make!

I’m very active and post writing progress on Twitter (X):

So I’ll use Tumblr as a place to share/gather the news about my fics in a longer format:

Already existing BoruSara fics:

First of all, Gambler of Feelings is now a completed story! The ending is written + published. Now that I’ve gotten better at writing in English, I’m aware the first chapters are rough. Hopefully the ending will make up for it. 💜

Toy’s Maker wish is another BoruSara story I completed. It has only 6 chapters, but it helped in my growth as a writer!

Equal Standing was initially a BoruSara story that was meant to be OneShot. Now, it turned into a short series that has both BoruSara + KawaSumi OneShots. It won’t be going on for long. I do have fun with it, though.

Already existing KawaSumi fics:

Those are perhaps the most recent fanfics I’ve written, since they were for KawaSumi week this year. Please, check them out!

Future Stories:

I’ve two big multi-chapt projects, I’m working on. First is the KawaSumi Office AU — The Convenient Attachment. This is a fic I already fully outlined and I’m in the process of writing chapter drafts. I’ll start posting it weekly once I’ve chapters in reserve.

Second one is BoruSara rivals to lover Badminton AU I came up with two days ago. This is a project that exist mostly as concept and I need to write an outline for. The intention is to do the same as for TCA — build up chapter reserves and post it weekly.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll start posting both fics at around same time?! I do heavily work on them behind the scenes. Fics that were on hold/resumed:

My old KawaBoru fic is on the way to be completed with daily updates! That being said, my head is filled with BoruSara + KawaSumi, so it’s unlikely I’ll write anything related to KawaBoru in the future. I just don’t like my fics being unfinished.

Out of all fics I put on hold, my ShikaTema Flying Fan lessons, then SasuSaku fic the Spotlight Affair will be finished next. The chapter count might change to be shorter for both, since it was while where I touched those stories.