#I’m a loser that hasn’t seen/played the original but here I am

[coffiishake]

NO SPOILERS PLEASE THANK YOU!!!

Mmm I love me a trio with shared trauma :)

[etherealluminescence]

The Now Dateables + Bros and MC who wears a face veil because they were cursed with an appearance everyone would immediately fall in love with. The face veil is so they know that their relationships are genuine and not because of their curse.

Asmo without the horny was my very first thought, but thank you for the ask! Here you go!!

I’m assuming it’s a regular face veil and not completely covered?? Like one of those lower face veils and for the sake of this, not transparent.

Also meant to post this awhile back but I guess I can’t do schedule releases correctly?? Man am I dumb.

Everyone reacting to GN!MC with a beauty curse

Before you were born, your parents had saved a witch who was struggling and in a lot of physical pain, after nursing her, she repaid their kindness by cursing (blessing?) all of their children to be extraordinarily beautiful, which sounded great at first, but you have come to learn that it wasn’t as great as it seemed.

Lucifer

When Lucifer chose you as the exchange student, it was noted you had a peculiar habit of wearing a veil, but he didn’t think much of it.

When you two become closer though, he’s kind of curious. Do you ever take it off? What’s it for? Are you self conscious, if so, that’s really stupid because he will still love you no matter what.

He’s blunt and asks you, so if you choose to tell him about the curse, he nods in acknowledgement, and asks if you want it removed.

You’re so shocked and he’s completely serious, he’s stronger than some witch, so he would be willing to help you out because he likes you.

If you say yes and show him your face he’s stunned for a second, but that’s only because of the curse, he understands now what you mean.

Is super prideful when you say you trust him to remove it, and how you think highly enough of him to even show him your face in the first place.

If you choose to keep it and still show your face to him, his ego is huge now, like even bigger than before. :))

Mammon

He thought you looked really stupid, not going to lie. Like why the hell are you wearing a face veil? Whatever. Probably tried to take it off or catch you without it on.

When you two makes a pact and become closer to him, he’s pretty curious about your face because he’s a model and has seen some pretty people, and you have gorgeous eyes.

Personal hype man because he gets the wrong idea at first, thinking you’re self conscious and he wants to see his human’s face.

At this point if you don’t believe he loves you for you, you’re kinda an oblivious monster, because he’s followed you like a lost puppy, protected you, and even genuinely wants to raise your self confidence.

So when you explain to him what’s up, and feel comfortable to show him your face he’s like !!! My human is literally the most gorgeous thing he’s seen. And then it strikes him he’s probably the first to see this outside of your family, too, and he’s so smug.

Won’t tell anyone about it if you tell him, he’s sad about it but will respect that you want a genuine friend. And then he’s super happy again because you think so highly of him.

Leviathan

Thinks you’re some cool person with a trouble past and now wears a veil to cover your scars from battle at first.

Wait? That’s not it? Lame. Will probably find it weird how you wear a face veil at first, and is curious to what you look like. Your eyes are really pretty, so why hide your face?

When he finds out it’s a curse he’s super interested again! My human wears a face veil to hide their curse from the world, sounds like some sort of anime plot. Will really want to see your face and will have puppy dog eyes, but ultimately it’s your choice.

If you choose to show him your face, he’s a blushing and stuttering mess, as if you didn’t just warn him? And he’s also just so surprised you agreed!!! Like you really trust him that much?! He is overwhelmed.

When you laugh and put your veil back on, he’s just standing there so confused? Like what just happened? He swears blood isn’t rushing out of his nose as he tells you that the curse worked okay.

Will definitely be jealous if you let other people see you without your veil on, he thinks he is special to you and that’s why you let him see it, so please don’t break his heart!

Satan

Satan really didn’t care at first, he may be a little curious, but it’s whatever, he’s met weirder people.

When you two are closer, he’s quite curious and asks, so if you tell him about the curse, he definitely wants to see.

He won’t pry to respect your privacy, but he totally understands now why your eyes are so pretty, and why you’re wearing the veil. But you can tell from his body language he wants to see your face.

Has a large amount of acquaintances and probably knows the witch as well, so when he finally sees your face, it was because of her. He invited you to meet an acquaintance of his, who just happened to be the witch your parents saved.

She’s gushing over you because she hadn’t seen you since you were a toddler, and asks to see your face if her curse worked, and how thankful she was to your parents.

When you take it off, telling Satan you trust him enough to let him see, Satan is a little surprised and bewildered by your beauty, he already liked you, but you were amazingly pretty.

The witch is clapping and so proud of her work, she asked how it’s been and if you say you want it removed, both she and Satan wouldn’t hesitate to help break it for you, because even if your curse make you look stunning, he’s attracted to you because you’re you.

Also he likes it when your face veil dangles and the cats coming to you try to smack at it with their little paws and play with you.

Asmodeous

Originally was a little uninterested in you because you didn’t show your face, and rejected his advances.

Also when you laughed at him when he said “Everyone is beautiful, so if you’re hiding scars, you can show me!” He thought you were mocking him, as he didn’t know of your curse.

It doesn’t matter at all though, because he eventually likes you with time, and is attracted to you even if he hasn’t seen your face properly, other than your pretty eyes.

When he gets close to you and finally finds out why, he’s just like oh!! I totally get it!! I’m so gorgeous I could cause a war over my beauty, so you’re the same, right?

Apologises for trying to make you take off your face veil before, but is obviously curious as to just how gorgeous you are. Probably won’t drag you to parties anymore if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Also loves you a little bit more because he’s the same! He’s extremely gorgeous, sure, but he wants a genuine friend too who isn’t after his beauty, so you two can bond over that.

Beelzebub

This baby honestly didn’t notice at first, and if he did he just thought of it as a human thing maybe? Well whatever! You give him food and cuddles so he just loves you.

He will never pressure you to take it off and probably is the least curious out of everyone. He probably doesn’t even notice your eyes until one of his brothers points it out and he’s like “oh, yeah they are really pretty.”

If anyone tries to take your veil off of you or bullies you for it, Beel only needs to grab their wrist and they know to run away, Beel would protect you.

When you tell Beel about the curse, he’s concerned for you and asks how he can help you feel better, like the previous baby he is!

When you show him your unveiled face, his eyes widen for a second and his hunger dissipates a little, but he’s not going to make a big deal out of it since you said you wore one for that reason.

He munches on his food and acknowledged it, and says you look nice, but if you want it gone he could ask Lucifer for you. If you decline, he respects your wishes, and just treats you like his favourite regular human.

Belphegor

Tied between gives no shit and also you’re weird asf. He says he doesn’t care why you wear a face veil and it doesn’t matter, but also looks at you like you’re weird for always wearing one, even to naps.

Tried to take it off when the two of you were sleeping ones because the frantic was against his face and it annoyed him. He found another face veil underneath, and two more and just gave up.

Will be super blunt. “I don’t think you’re ugly, even if you wear a veil.” He thinks that you’re probably self-conscious, and this is his way of cheering you up.

You can only laugh and say it’s a curse that makes you really beautiful. Huh, that explains why you have nice eyelashes, he thought.

Now he just doesn’t care, he’s used to it. If you choose to show him your face, man will he flaunt it to Lucifer, like has Lucifer seen your face? No? What a fucking loser.

Is charmed by your face for a minute before regaining his senses and telling you that you’re a 6

Actually really appreciates you showing your face to him even after he kinda murdered you. Appreciates all the trust in him you have.

Will probably punch anyone who disrespects you for wearing a veil in the face, he always wakes up and chooses violence.

Diavolo

Not phased by it and finds it kinda cool, perhaps they chose an interesting human! How fun.

Though he is very curious about what you look like, he stares at your veil and you can feel it but he won’t admit it because he respects you.

You grow close to him quickly and he’s delighted!! And you can tell he’s a genuinely good person, so when you tell him about the curse he just laughs!

No wonder you’re such a great and respectable person, you take after your parents! Not many would pick up a stray and dying witch.

He asks you if it’s really that inconvenient, and offers to just break the curse for you! No problem.

If you choose to keep it, he respects that too, but hopes he can see more of your face, he wants to love each part of you, if you allow him too.

If anyone makes fun of you for making a veil he would punish them or probably start wearing a veil too, either one works.

Barbatos

The least bothered by it number two, if you want to wear a face veil be his guest, he already knew the other exchange student would be weird when he saw Solomon.

He doesn’t pressure you to take it off and sometimes you just genuinely feel like you’re not wearing a face veil with him because he never comments on it, he just treats you like a normal person.

If you choose to tell him about the curse he will listen while maintaining perfect eye contact, his eyes never once even drifting to the lower half of your face, how respectful.

He will offer to help remove the curse for you, or ask Master Diavolo to help you remove it, but it really is up to you.

When you show him your face he’s in awe for the slightest second and then is back to normal. You are extraordinarily stunning, yes, but he respects the fact that you hate it when people stare too long or fall in love by your looks.

Honestly you could stop wearing the face veil around him altogether and he’d still treat you like normal, he has drunk the whole can of respect MC juice.

Solomon

He wasn’t fazed in the slightest when he sees you walking around with a face veil. Maybe it’s just your thing? He’s been alive long enough to see many different human things.

It doesn’t take long for him to want to see your face though, he’s curious and may drop subtle hints, but it’s up to you to pick up on them and decide if he can see.

If you tell him it’s a curse, it would pique his curiosity more, but he won’t use force to get you to remove it. If you choose to remove it for him though, he’s going to tease you but secretly be ecstatic.

He’s in awe of just how beautiful and stunning you are, may forget to breathe for a second before commenting on what an effective curse it was! But tries to be polite and not make you uncomfortable by staring too long.

Will try to help you remove the curse if you don’t want it anymore! You have a gorgeous personality and that’s all that really matters at the end of the day!

If you choose to keep it he will also respect it, and if anyone harasses you for wearing a veil he can put an ugly curse on them to make them as ugly as their personalities.

Simeon

Wondered why you wore a veil, but respected you and your privacy, so didn’t ask about it in case it was a sensitive topic.

When you two grow closer you can just genuinely tell he’s a good person, he’s an angel after all! So when you confide to him about your curse, and tell him you want him to see your face he’s super honoured!

Acknowledges that you put a lot of trust into him, and won’t tell anyone without your permission, but you truly are a work of art. He quickly gets over it though and smiles, giving you a small compliment, before asking if you want some tea.

He steers the conversation away from your curse and tries to be really respectful and not try to stare in case you don’t like it, and it only makes you laugh.

Is happy to know he can make eye contact with you like always, you don’t mind, and appreciate his thoughtfulness.

Just overall very sweet and thoughtful of you! If anyone makes you uncomfortable about wearing a veil, or make comments will defend you!

[blueeyedrichie]

I personally would Love to hear about The Buttons !!! (Euther via this ask or the post Idc) tell me about the buttons! They seemed so focused on but I could never connect them to anything and I'd love love hear your thoughts!!

AHH yes omg thank you <33333 i have not stopped thinking about your post just so you know i am,,, fully losing it </3 also for anyone interested and who hasn’t seen it yet this is the post we are referring to and i freaked out about the buttons in my tags 

basically what i’m saying is that i agree with you fully about your theory and that IT absolutely 10000% murdered Stanley, and here’s why:

TW: discussions of Stan’s death under the cut

okay so basically I think that IT absolutely killed Stan, and that IT was fucking with Patty as well. Like how IT blinds all the adults in Derry to everything going on around them? IT does this to Patty as well, IT basically blinds her to the VERY obvious and easily readable signs that there is something wrong with her husband, who she loves A LOT and talks about feeling shame for not having noticed something was so wrong with him later on when she’s talking to her parents

pg 50, Stephen King’s IT

I also firmly believe that Patty is basically an honorary loser and knew that some shit was going down, but obviously she wouldn’t have been able to understand it in a way that Stan could have, having not experienced IT herself. “They had both suspected something” BOTH????

during and after the call, Patty is so hyperfocused on watching Family Feud and on sewing a black button (!!!!!!!) onto Stanley’s blue denim shirt that she pretty much convinces herself that he’s okay, and that the obvious signs she’s noticing aren’t really there:

pg 51, Stephen King’s IT

Like, she even knows WHEN AND WHY HE SHUTS THE BATHROOM DOOR? obviously Patty - when not being interfered with by cosmic forces - would have known that something was clearly wrong with her husband, and wouldn’t have given a shit about the tv show. not to mention the buttons “although she knew there were loads of them in the button box” “they hid, of course; that was the only explanation...” it’s basically like IT is not only blinding her from Stanley’s obvious distress, but he knows that won’t be enough, so he adds in these distractions and perfectly placed things so it’ll be easier to convince her not to go after him. again, i feel like this goes back to her being an “honorary” loser, just as she doesn’t fully understand these things, IT doesn’t have as much power over her because she isn’t one of the Chosen Seven. but they both still have influence.

pg 52, Stephen King’s IT

this excerpt is from right after the show ends, when she thinks of him for the first time ONLY once the credits start rolling. just enough time for IT to have IT’s way with Stanley, perhaps? “they were only an excuse”, that’s what IT wants her to believe, but they had been carefully misplaced to prevent her from going after Stanley

Something else that leads me to believe IT was at play here is that they never have children, and IT uses this against her in this scene. In the book, none of the losers have kids, and they realize it during their first meeting after Mike’s phone call. It’s a pretty big deal, Richie even has a failed vasectomy that he doesn’t discover for YEARS after sleeping with his ex girlfriend Sandy, who never gets pregnant (not with Richie anyway) So they all kind of agree that it has something to do with IT, and Patty’s family is constantly asking them when they’ll have kids and they never do, and I think the way King writes about this here is basically IT taunting her:

pg 53, Stephen King’s IT

Also I think this is kind of interesting:

pg 53, Stephen King’s IT

I feel like this is the moment when IT basically lets her go? Or leaves in general, as mentioned in op’s post, it takes a lot of power for IT to go somewhere other than Derry, and I’m sure IT wouldn’t hang around long after IT completes what IT went there to do. Again, I think Patty was aware of what was happening on some level the whole time, but she was unable to do anything about it because of IT’s influence on her, but this is pretty telling imo of how out of it she was. surely part of that is panic, but even the line “the panic which had come into the front of her mind like a prowler...” IT had IT’s way with her and then freed her mind when IT was done

pg 54, Stephen King’s IT

I feel like this is just?? important, that she thinks about the turtle immediately after coming back to herself. she’s trying to stay calm now that she’s able to think rationally as well, and following this she goes to get the key to unlock the upstairs bathroom, which leads into the part that makes me crazy

pg 54, Stephen King’s IT

HALF A DOZEN BLACK ONES??????? where were they when she was working on Stanley’s shirt??? idk go fuckn ask pennywise. for real though, and like it’s such a small detail that gets mentioned a couple times but it’s just stuck with me so much and i feel like this is supposed to show how IT was using the smallest, most unimportant things to distract Patty

also i’d like to touch on the things you mentioned about Patty discovering Stanley and how he was positioned seemed so unnatural. yes!!! i agree!!!!!

pg 55, Stephen King’s IT

“with his back propped” “his mouth hung open like a sprung door” “his expression was one of abysmal, frozen horror” frozen in horror like the last image he saw was of the most terrifying thing he’s ever seen before? just before IT murders him? yeah

also:

pg 56, Stephen King’s IT

like op said in their post, WHY? why would he have written that? the last thing Stanley would want to be remembered by is IT, but IT wants the others to know about this. IT wants them to be scared so they don’t go after IT, and after IT used Stanley’s finger to leave his mark, IT drops his hand into the bath and leaves

WAYYY TLDR; i fully agree with your theory and this whole part has haunted me since i originally read the book. 

[charliejrogers]

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) - Review & Analysis

Here’s a non-controversial statement: 2017’s Wonder Woman is a legitimately great film (if you discount the last act’s boring battle). A fun, yet emotional anti-war tale with a great period aesthetic. What elevated it from greatness was its starkly bleak reveal that Ares does not start man’s wars, but he merely gives humans ideas for how to instigate them. Ultimately, it is Man who holds responsibility for our own destruction, and despite this Wonder Woman still chooses to help us poor creatures. Cool themes, cool hero, cool movie.

Wonder Woman 1984 shares the main character from its 2017 forerunner, as well as its dedication to recreating a particular period aesthetic (here the 1980s), but the brilliant writing from the first film is gone. The main themes are essentially… “be careful what you wish for” and “winners never cheat; cheaters never win.” Not the most grand and interesting follow-up to the prior film’s genuine insight into human nature.

But that’s OK. I’m really not sure why this movie is getting so much flak online. If DC’s recent prior history with filmmaking should have taught us anything, it’s that 2017’s Wonder Woman was a fluke. Remember that this is the same studio that brought us the outstanding climax to Batman vs. Superman where one grown man learns that another grown man’s mother is also named Martha. Oh, and did we all just forget that Justice League is one of the worst movies we have all collectively ever seen?

So let’s not be too hard on WW84 for not meeting the quality of 2017’s Wonder Woman. Few comic book movies can. In the more fair comparison to other movies in the DCEU, it sits below Shazam! and Aquaman, and just a smidge below Birds of Prey, but certainly above Suicide Squad, and then literally leaps and bounds over every other movie they’ve made.

Let’s start with the good. Honestly, despite my gripes about the themes of the movie not being very profound, I found the story to be interesting. The movie centers around Diana Prince (Gal Gadot in her role as an archaeologist for the Smithsonian and not as Wonder Woman) stumbling upon an ancient stone whose inscription invites people who hold the stone to make a wish. No one takes it really seriously at first, so two people make wishes without thinking they could come true. The first person is Diana herself who wishes to bring her boyfriend (whom she only knew for about a week, mind you) from the dead. As a reminder from the first film, her boyfriend Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) had died nearly 70 years prior to the start of this film in a dramatic, sacrificial, world-saving act. Apparently, Diana hasn’t moved on at all from the 1910s and still considers her short-time lover to be her forever lover. She’s not really a human and did not grow up a human, so I think we can forgive her for not moving on… but it is weird to imagine that Diana somehow works at the Smithsonian (without going to college? Or did she?) without developing any friends or interest in life. Wouldn’t she have moved on... like a little bit?

Anyways, she wants her boyfriend back, and that’s wish #1. Wish #2 comes from new character Barbara Minerva (Kristen Wiig… who I am shocked to find is 47 years old! She looks fantastic and far younger in this film). Were Barbara a man, the way she is treated by her colleagues would put them in the stereotypical role of a future school shooter. Barbara is a brilliant gemologist for the Smithsonian, but goes completely unrecognized for her brilliance. She is shy and unconfident, and subsequently people frequently forget that they have even met her. Add on to that the fact that she has to work in the same office as Wonder Woman, and her loneliness and subjective feelings of unattractiveness increase as male employees drool over Diana while they ignore and mock Barbara. Therefore, we would forgive her for having a chip on her shoulder. Yet, for all this, Wiig avoids playing her as an angry, emo goth. Barbara kinda has this air about her of “Well, this is just how life is, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.” Given the character’s lack of self-confidence and lack of social grace, it at times seemed like Wiig was just reprising her old SNL character, Penelope, the socially awkward one-upper. But that’s not fair to her character. Wiig portrays Barbara with an earnest goodness to her. She’s one of those people who when allowed to talk one-on-one proves to be more eloquent and interesting than you could have imagine. Far from being angrily envious of Diana’s confidence and beauty, she’s more sadly jealous. Naturally, then, she wishes on the stone to be more like Diana… unaware that this wish might have some unintended benefits.

But then, there’s a third key character to the film (and a third wishmaker), the main villain Maxwell Lord (Pedro Pascal). I cannot tell you if this was a good character or not… and I cannot tell you whether the imperfections of the character are more due to the film’s writing or Pascal’s performance. Lord is another loser, and like Barbara, his “loser” status is the result of being a victim of America’s prejudicial attitudes. But whereas Barbara fell victim to sexism, Lord falls victim to racism. Hispanic in origin, Lord grew up in America with an abusive father at home and racist classmates at school. Beaten down from an early age, all he wants in life is to make a name for himself, to prove he’s not a loser. In a clever twist, Lord (the person who originally ordered the wish stone to come to America before it was confiscated by the FBI and sent to the Smithsonian for analysis) does not simply use the stone to wish for riches and power… he wishes to BECOME the stone. That way, he can get nearly infinite wishes so long as he can con the people around him to wish things for him.

The scenes of Max Lord as a flawed human who just wants to not be a loser show Pascal giving a great performance as a human being at the ends of desperation. The scenes of Max Lord the supervillain are… not good. In a long string of over-the-top, eccentric, hyperconfident supervillains in countless superhero movies, Pascal’s Lord is just not interesting. In fact, he is literally a weak character. He cannot fight for himself as his body is crumbling (a side effect of wishing to become a stone). Furthermore, his initially grounded motivations to finally be respected and successful seem to be just utterly lost by the end of the film when he just wishes for world chaos… only then to turn around and declare undying love for his son. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Failure to understand a character’s motivations casts a shadow over Barbara’s character arc as well. It is explained that the wish stone takes something in return for granting someone their wish. So as payment for bringing Steve Trevor back to life, Diana loses some of her strength. Still… this strains to fully explain why Barbara, after gaining Wonder Woman-like strength, turns into a walking humanoid cheetah (complete with bad CGI like she walked straight out of the cast of 2019’s Cats.) Like I get that she lost some of her humanity and morality in exchange for strength… but Cheetah girl seems like a little much. And though initially it is fun to see Wiig get to play Barbara as a confident and sexy woman who fights back against the patriarchy, the movie (I think) unfairly pushes her into the villain role. In my opinion, she should be treated as a tragic character, something akin to a Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight, as her villainous tendencies are not really her fault. She literally had the part of her that cares about other humans taken away from her when she naively and innocently wished to be like Diana. Instead, the movie has Diana lecture her that she shouldn’t be so evil. She literally can’t, lady! Stop being so hard on her! In any case, it seems like a failed opportunity to generate sympathy for a genuinely likable character who tragically becomes a villain not through her own accord.

That failure to create genuine emotions extends to Diana’s story as well. As soon as Steve is resurrected, you know by the movie’s end he will be dead again. There’s no other way this movie ends. Yet, the fact that Diana is so stubborn in refusing to give up Steve makes it hard to sympathize with her. She is simply being selfish, making her eventual decision to say goodbye to Steve feel more like her finally doing the right (and obvious) thing, and not some heartbreaking decision. Also the fact that seemingly Diana hasn’t even tried to move on in the last seventy years doesn’t help matters for me: it more just feels like a lazy way to write in Chris Pine’s popular character into the second movie. The move certainly weakens the idea of Diana as a strong, independent woman by making her emotionally stunted and crippled for the last 70 years. It would have been a much more satisfying (and daring) choice if Diana had moved on from Steve emotionally and had to deal with the guilt of having brought him back by accident, particularly if he didn’t want to go back to being dead. Instead... Steve knows he has to go back and Diana feels no guilt keeping him around. It’s weak character writing.

These poor choices I contrast with two of my favorite TV shows that demonstrate perfectly how former lovers who miraculously reunite eventually have to say goodbye for good: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Jane the Virgin. For risk of spoilers to those still watching Jane, I’ll stick to the Buffy example. There’s an episode of Buffy (though technically an episode of the spin-off show Angel) where Buffy and her vampire lover Angel are fresh off their recent and tumultuous break-up, but through some dark magic that neither seeks out, they are given the opportunity to live a life where Angel isn’t actually a vampire and their love can be fully expressed. Yet, in the end, Angel opts to give up his life as a human and return to being a vampire. The choice is so moving precisely because (due to circumstances I cannot begin to explain) in choosing to give up his life with Buffy, he saves her life as well. Whereas in this movie, Diana choosing to let Steve go is really just her choosing to undo her choice to essentially cheat death. Angel, however, is actively choosing to give up a life of happiness he never wished for but was just given on a silver platter, and will now live in a world where his lover will never know his selfless act and will go on hating him. It’s heartbreaking in a way Wonder Woman dreams it could be.

And not to get too Buffy-heavy… but that show also deals with the emotional consequences of being ripped out of the afterlife much better than this movie. Steve just kinda unrealistically adapts to being alive again in all of five minutes. If, perhaps, from the start he questioned why he was there and hinted to Diana that something was wrong, the emotional aspect of this story, the doomed nature, the feeling of “this is the last chance we’ll have together” could have made this a stronger movie. I wanted to find myself crying when Diana finally says bye to Steve, and I was no where close to that. Gal Gadot shares at least part of the blame. She’s a pretty wooden actress. It’s something I noticed in 2017’s Wonder Woman, but in that movie she was supposed to be a fish out of water so her stilted presence seemed appropriate. Here, where she’s supposedly become an assimilated American for 70 years… it is just bad acting.

Anyways, another aspect of this film that was lacking were the visuals. The bad CGI of Barbara as Cheetah is just scratching the surface here. The opening flashback to Diana as a girl performing in the Amazonian Olympics just… looks fake. I don’t know. The reliance on CGI over practical effects is clear and distracting. It’s only worse in the subsequent scene where Wonder Woman stops a theft from occurring in a mall. The effects are just bad. Like passable for a film in the 1990s or early 2000s. But for a 2020 blockbuster, it’s noticeably bad. And already the scene where Wonder Woman is running towards the camera with a weird green screen behind her seems to have become a meme given just how weird it looks.

And yet, for all the negatives I’ve listed, this is a decent action flick. There’s even some nice set pieces like the one in the White House. As little as I liked Max Lord as a supervillain, I found figuring out the other half of each of his various Monkey Paw wishes (i.e. the downside of each wish) to be clever. unfortunately, each of the main three characters fails to have a story line that takes full advantage of their emotional potential, or they are just poorly acted. With few exceptions, the film eschews “fun” in favor of “seriousness.” Really the only exception is, as in the first film, the chemistry between Pine and Gadot. Their chemistry makes for some of the movie’s best moments, like when Wonder Woman makes the plane they’re flying in invisible and the pair flies over fireworks on the fourth of July. But that sense of whimsy in their scenes is largely absent from the rest of the film. This is particularly true of the action sequences, especially those at the climax. The seriousness makes them rather boring. Really, I’m comparing these action scenes with the last half hour or so of Birds of Prey which really set the bar for superhero movie fight choreography. So in the end, it’s overall an OK movie. It certainly isn’t as bad as others make it out to be, but I cannot believe I’m saying this… in 2020 if you’re in the mood for a fun superhero movie, you’re better off with the Suicide Squad sequel than the Wonder Woman sequel.

**/ (Two and a half stars out of 4)

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

[they-hear-the-music]

I’ve seen a lot of TMA time travel AUs and I love all of them so, if I may, I wanna jump in with my own personal take which I haven’t seen around so far.

Picture this: It’s season 1. Martin is stuck in his apartment absolutely terrified and alone and under siege by worms when suddenly!! There is a door that wasn’t there before and he tries to ignore it but like he is already in a bad situation maybe this will help? So after long consideration and worry he opens the door and BAM! creepy hallways!! A step up from the worms I’d say.

Jump cut to season 4 Jon moping in his office after just being shot down by Martin on the whole “We could leave here together!” thing when Daisy comes in and says something along the lines of “What’s up loser? Stop moping!”

Jon: I’m just worried about Martin.

Daisy: Who is Martin?

And Jon, of course, is confused/thinks this is some kind of joke he’s not getting but as it turns out all the other archival assistants know about “this Martin guy” that he disappeared during Jon’s first year as Archivist even before Prentis attacked and that he’s presumed dead. Melanie met him once but they barely talked, leaving Jon as the only one who remembers the original time line.

Or is he??!!

Elias is suddenly head of the institute again because they didn’t have Martin’s plan to get him into jail and also the bet with Peter Lukas is not a thing anymore and I am obsessed with the mental image of Elias just sitting in jail minding his own (evil) business when suddenly he is sitting in his office like “??????”. I absolutely think he’d be able to Know that someone maybe messed with the time line but I also think telling Jon about it would be the last thing on his mind. Feeding off information related fear and all that. So he just casually plays along with the whole “what on earth are you talking about Jon? I never went to jail and Martin hasn’t worked here in years” thing.

So Elias is evil and no help while Jon is very much questioning if maybe he is finally losing his mind. But also at the same time he Knows he’s right and something is wrong but how can he prove it when he doesn’t even know what happened?? Daisy is supportive, Melanie and Basira very much are not.

Meanwhile a door appears in the House on Hilltop Road and out walks season 1 Martin, very confused, very scared but tentatively optimistic that he escaped the worms SOMEHOW and I mean he’d do what he did in the original time line and go straight to the Magnus Institute to give his statement.  And boy is he in for a surprise!

[marvelous-writer]

Monster Mash

Summary: The Stark family gets invited to a Halloween party at the Compound, only Peter fails to mention that he’s sick.

Happy Halloween, everyone!!! 🎃🕷🕸🕷🕸🎃

Link to read on Ao3:

The plan had originally been that Tony, Pepper, Morgan, and Peter would all dress up as a family of vampires for the Halloween party the team was throwing at the Compound.

That said plan was going right down the toilet now because somehow, Peter got sick.

“Pete you ready? We have to leave in five minutes!” Tony calls from downstairs.

“Yeah…” Peter groans into his pillow, hair damp from the shower he’d gotten out of minutes before, only to have a dizzy spell when he bent down to grab something, resulting in him lying down until it was over.

Only getting up feels like a lot of work right now.

Why does this always have to happen to him? He’s been looking forward to dressing up and going to the party tonight, especially since Halloween was one of his favorite holidays outside of Thanksgiving and Christmas. One thing’s for sure, he definitely wasn’t telling or letting anyone know that he’s not feeling well because that would mean missing out on the party, and Morgan’s been so excited about going since Tony told them about it. Peter definitely wasn’t letting her down, not over a silly little cold.

No. He wasn’t going to give in to this. It was just kind over matter.

At least that’s what he’s been trying to tell himself all day, since waking up horribly achy and groggy.

“Gotta get up…” Peter murmurs to himself, sucking in a grounding breath before he slowly pushes himself up.

Thankfully his vision doesn’t blur like it had earlier, so that was a win. Peter rubs at his face tiredly, hands dropping in his lap as he looks over at his closet, eyes landing on the black tuxedo he was supposed to wear tonight. It was the same one Tony had bought him for that Stark Industries gala a while back.

The last thing Peter wants to do right now with how he’s feeling, is wear that horribly uncomfortable thing for heck knows how many hours tonight. Too bad there wasn’t something else he could wear, something more comfortable and Halloweeny.

An idea suddenly pops into his head.

…….

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Tony dryly says, an unimpressed look on his face, decked out in his black tuxedo, his hair slicked back with hair gel.

Peter shrugs, dressed head to toe in his Spider-Man suit, wearing the cape over it that he was supposed to wear over his tux. “What? I’m… uh… Vamp-Spidey? Spider-Vamp? Spire?” Peter weakly says in his defense, holding his arms out.

Morgan giggles at Pepper’s side, who are both decked out in their costumes, a form-fitting shiny black dress on Pepper, and a cute black dress with a flowy black skirt with orange and silver sparkles.

“Do you have any concept of a secret identity?” Tony asks.

“Well, it doesn’t matter, right? The team already knows who I am and it’s Halloween. I can just keep my mask on all night if it bothers you so much.” Peter lightly says.

Tony closes his eyes and punches the bridge of his nose, shaking his head with a sigh. “You know-fine. You look great, kid. Let’s just get in the car. We’re already ten minutes late.”

“Not late enough for your taste though?” Pepper asks, looking like the perfect bride for a Vampire.

A smile tugs at Tony’s mouth at her teasing. “Ha ha. Come on.” He says as he opens the front door.

…….

By the time they arrive at the Compound, it’s five-forty in the evening and the driveway is a literal parking lot. In the half hour drive over, Peter ended up taking an impromptu nap, which did nothing to help the exhaustion that’s heavily weighing him down and the car ride didn’t do anything to help his stomach.

When they arrive on the Avenges’ floor, the lights are dim, party lights flashing and glowing around the room, the speakers turned up playing The Monster Mash. There are a couple of people dancing in the cleared out living room but people seem to be mostly standing around mingling, snacks and punch in hand.

“Well, well, well, look who decided to show up.” A voice comes over the music.

Peter looks over and does a double take when he sees Clint, who’s dressed as Black Widow in a black skintight bodysuit, red wig and all.

Tony snickers at the sight of the man. “Wow… looking good, Barton. Who’s idea was this?”

“Eh, I lost a bet to Sam. Loser had to dress as Nat.” The archer shrugs. “But hey! You guys look amazing as a family of Vampires and-” His eyes fall on Peter, brows pulling together in confusion. “And Spider-Man?”

“He felt like being creative tonight.” Tony explains, an amused grin on his lips.

Clint hummus, brows raising as he nods. “It’s certainly different, but hey, what the hell, right? It’s Halloween!” He smiles, holding his arms out. “You guys go on and have some fun!”

Pepper smiles, “We’ll do that. You too.”

Peter follows behind them further in the room but Clint claps his hands around his shoulders, stopping him.

“I’d just avoid the blue punch. I think Nat spiked it.” Clint whispers.

Peter raises an eyebrow under his mask. “Why? With what?”

“Don’t know, some fun juice if you know what I mean. Sam’s a wee bit off his rocker and I’m feeling a bit buzzed.” Clint grins. “You and your sister stick to the red punch bowl, got it?” He says, gently patting his shoulders.

“Got it.” Peter says as he watches him stalk off towards the kitchen.

Peter walks around a little bit, taking in all of the costumes and the shockingly lifelike decorations that were littered around the place. There are a bunch of skeletons and webs hanging on the walls, as well as fake blood spatters.

Peter’s stomach churns at the sight of it all, so he has to tear his eyes away and focus on looking for Morgan. Despite disappointing everyone with his costume choice, he’s immensely grateful that he’s wearing his suit with how loud everything is, his mask already dialing down the brightness and sound levels.

He finds Morgan by the snack table with Pepper, where Happy and May are, laughing a something. They’re both dressed as 70’s hippies, definitely May’s doing, but Happy looks pretty, well… happy. The both of them do.

Peter watches Morgan licking the frosting off of a cupcake that resembles an eyeball, cringing when he sees her frosted covered tongue licking at the top.

“Hey, there he is!” May smiles when she sees him, smiling brightly, her light pink glasses shining in the lighting. “Spider-Vamp.”

Clearly she already bumped into Tony.

“Or-what was it? Spire?” Happy throws in with an amused grin.

“Oh, haha.” Peter rolls his eyes, as May hugs him since she hasn’t seen him in a few days since he’s been staying over at the lake house for the weekend.

They all talk for a few minutes, before Morgan pulls Peter away into the kitchen so she could get a drink. Peter avoids the bowl of blue punch and goes for the red, poring Morgan and himself a cup. He rolls up his mask to his nose and takes a small sip, cringing from the sweetness of it. Morgan doesn’t seem to mind it as she happily drinks it, while Peter cautiously sips at the overly sugary beverage.

They go back out and stand with Pepper, who was now talking with Natasha, who was wearing a Hawkeye costume, her red hair tied up in a tight ponytail. There must’ve been a story behind that costume choice.

“Oooh, Petey look! Games!” Morgan excitedly squeals, tugging on his arm as she points at the other side of the room, where multiple Halloween themed games are spread out, like pin the arm on the skeleton.

He raises an eyebrow at that, wondering who was behind that one. Clint probably, maybe even Sam.

“Well let’s go see them.” Peter tells her, earning an excited squeal from her.

……

An hour pass by, and at this point, Peter’s regretting not telling Tony and Pepper he wasn’t feeling good so they would’ve stayed home.

The filtering in his mask isn’t helping Peter out that much with all of the noise and bright lights around him, and he’s developed quite the headache over the past thirty or so minutes. But then again, his senses are always extra sensitive whenever he’s sick. Which he certainly wasn’t.

Mind over matter. Peter tells himself, brows pulling together when his stomach strongly disagrees with the one cup of punch and a few snacks he’s had tonight.

He can feel the sweat building up on his back and on his forehead, regretting wearing his suit. He could have just dressed up as a ghost with a simple white sheet over him and wear whatever he wanted underneath it.

Peter is standing beside Morgan, who’s been playing the skeleton game for the past ten minutes. There are a lot of kid games here but Morgan seems to be the only kid here.

At least she’s having fun at this thing though.

Peter closes his eyes, wishing that there were chairs or something around so he could sit. He’s starting to feel a pinch but lightheaded all of a sudden, which probably wasn’t a good sign. Maybe he just needed some water.

Peter opens his eyes again and his eyes roam over the costumed partiers until his eyes land on Tony.

“Hey, M? How about we go see what Daddy’s up to?” Peter loudly says to her, bending down to her level so she could hear him over the base of the speakers.

“Okay.” She nods, seeming alright with abandoning the games.

Peter takes her hand and the two of them make their way through the sea of people, taking a few moments until they reach Tony. All of the movement is making Peter dizzy.

“Ah-there you two are!” Tony smiles when he sees them. “Having fun?”

“Yeah… lots.” Peter says, with no real excitement behind it. “Uh, I’m just going to grab something to drink.”

“Okay.” Tony nods as he smiles at Morgan and picks her up. “And how are you my little Vampire Princess?”

Peter can’t hear her answer over the loud music and voices as he turns away and walks over to the kitchen, maneuvering around the crowd.

The kitchen is thankfully empty when he walks in, and he breathes out a shaky, relieved breath as he pulls his mask off. He winces from the onslaught of bright lights and sounds, a dull throbbing behind his eyes as his headache ramps up a few notches.

Peter makes a beeline to the refrigerator but he pauses when something catches his eye. He looks down at the countertop of the center island next to the sink, fear shooting through him at the sight he’s met with.

A cutting board is out, with a severed hand right on top next to a butcher knife. There’s blood everywhere, all over the board, the countertop and all over the sink. The hand looks so realistic that there’s a piece of bone and mangled flesh peeking out from it.

Peter’s stomach violently twists, as saliva rapidly fills his mouth. His eyes widen fearfully as his eyes dart around himself for something to throw up into, knowing that there was nothing he could do to prevent the inevitable from happening.

He moves for the sink but pauses, noting how absolutely disgusted that would be for a guest to find him upchucking in a sink, plus he never wants to lay eyes on that hand ever again in his life.

Peter’s eyes land on a trash can by the refrigerator and he practically dives for it, making it just in time before he’s heaving into it, throwing up what little food he’s eaten all day.

He doesn’t even hear the footsteps coming towards the kitchen.

“Peter?” He recognizes Happy’s voice. “What the hell-are you alright?”

Peter tries to answer him but opening his mouth but he gags, finding himself bent over the barrel again, painfully retching.

“I’m… I’m going to get Tony or May. I’ll be right back. You just… stay there.” Happy panically, sounding like he had no idea what to do.

Peter only groans in response.

Not even thirty seconds later, Tony rushes into the kitchen.

“Oh, Pete…” He sympathetically says as he walks over to him, placing a hand on Peter’s back, rubbing small, soothing circles.

“S’ the hand’s falt…” Peter moans into the barrel.

“What hand?” Tony asks, confused, probably looking around the kitchen for it. “Oh… that hand. Yikes. Yeah, that’d do it for me too. I’m going to have a serious talk with whoever did that, and my money’s on Clint.”

Peter remains silent, focusing on keeping his stomach as still as possible. He feels like absolute garbage, no pun intended. His head is pounding now, a dull pulsating behind his eyes and he feels horribly woozy, but thankfully less nauseous now.

Tony’s hand pauses on his back. “Was it just the hand that got you sick? You’ve been acting off all day.”

Peter caves and shakes his head. “No... been feeling sick all day.” He confesses.

Tony breathes out a sigh through his nose. “Kid, this is why you have to tell me these things. I knew something was up with the whole costume switch.”

“M’ sorry.” Peter softly says into the trash barrel.

Tony continues rubbing his back. “It’s alright but please let me know from now on when you’re not feeling good. Okay? Please? You know I have a heart condition.”

Peter silently nods in agreement.

“Think you’re done?” Tony asks after a few minutes of them standing there in the middle of the kitchen.

“Think so…” Peter says as he slowly stands up.

He leans against the counter, avoiding looking towards the sink, watching Tony seal up the garbage bag and take it out from the barrel. He turns around and looks at Peter, concern etched on his features.

“How about we head on home? Get you into bed?” Tony suggests.

Guilt floods through Peter at that. “No, you guys should have fun-”

“Pete, I can’t have any fun when I know you’re feeling this miserable. Besides, we’ll just make up for it at Thanksgiving.” Tony says with a small smile, gently placing a hand on his back, steering him out of the kitchen. “Let’s go find Morgan and Pepper.”

As soon as he says it, Pepper appears right in front of them with Morgan in her arms, looking concerned as her eyes land on Peter. “Oh, Peter, sweetie. Happy said you weren’t feeling well? I was just coming to check on you.”

“Yeah, he’s not feeling so hot so we were going to find you two and see if you wanted to head on home?” Tony says.

She nods. “Yeah that’s probably a good idea.”

Peter leans into Tony tiredly as they head towards the elevator, the bass painfully beating against his ear drums, beating along with his pounding head.

“Wait.” Peter stops suddenly when they’re at the elevator. “I gotta tell May we’re leaving.”

“Uh, yeah… don’t worry about that, kiddo. She’s a wee bit out of it right now.” Tony says, leading him inside the elevator.

“Oh… she must’ve had the blue punch Clint told me about…” Peter mumbles.

“Yeah and a little too much of it, I’m afraid. Happy told me they were leaving anyways when he found you.” Tony says, pressing the bottom floor button.

…….

Along their drive back home, Peter falls asleep in the back of the car, his head pillowed with his and Tony’s cape, the radio playing a soft classic rock in the background.

He wakes up sometime later, when they’re halfway up the stairs, finding himself in Tony’s arms.

“Are we home?” Peter sleepily murmurs, head resting against the man’s shoulder.

“Yeah, bud.” Tony softly says as he walks across the hallway to Peter’s room.

Peter hums, letting his heavy eyes slip closed once again.

[xiubaek-13]

Providence

Prompt: You kind of-sort of said you had a boyfriend and now you both are invited to a ‘couples only’ party and now you have to find a boyfriend ASAP

Pairing: Chen x Reader

Warnings: Alcohol, poor dating history, a little bit of smut.

Word Count: 9,118

A/N: This was for a one-shot challenge. We had a really cool idea for a Valentines prompt but life decided to come in and drop multiple anvils on all of our progress. Life can be shit like that sometimes but at times like that you also have to step back and realise that the writing can wait. We made a group decision to kind of call off the challenge but still post if/when we finished. This is my contribution.

Anyway, let me know what you think - apparently I cannot write a short one-shot to save my life so here is an almost 10k present for you.

You only had yourself to blame for this. Why the fuck did you tell him you had a boyfriend? Did you enjoy suffering? How the hell were you supposed to find a boyfriend before the weekend?!

You were just so sick of feeling left out of social gatherings but Suho was all about couples parties… originally you thought it was a phase that would pass but six months later it was still invite only and you had to have a boyfriend or partner or significant other. The rules were that you couldn’t turn up alone or with a fuck buddy, not after that one time Baekhyun turned up with an escort just to piss Suho off. You still remember Baekhyun telling you that story and how Suho hadn’t invited him again for two whole months. That man was too concerned with how society perceived him and his perfect wife. He just didn’t understand how you could possibly have no time for dating and dismissed you every time you asked to come alone.

So you hadn’t seen him in six months. You still talked and still saw each other at work but you missed hanging out with your friend. You just wished he cared less about what everyone thought of him. One by one they’d all gotten girlfriends and wives and suddenly you were no longer the main woman in their lives. Gone were the days when you’d have to pretend to be their date, scorned ex, sister, or bitchy friend to save them from awful dates. Now none of them were ever free to do the same for you because it wouldn’t be proper.

At some point you gave up on dating. You just decided one day that you’d had enough of being disappointed by every so called suitor and weren’t going to participate in it any more. Your mother was distraught, but you were pretty sure it was more that she was upset that she couldn’t play matchmaker any more rather than any sort of concern for your wellbeing. What you would give to not have been born into high society with all of these convoluted rules and stigmas. You had to marry a career man of good stead from the right family. You had to mask and hide your feelings, always, because any sign of emotion was a sign of weakness. You had to have a good education and a good career but be willing to drop it all to get married and start a family then spend your days on committees. You could never not be seen in designer wear, what would the neighbours think? All of this superficial bullshit. You were done with it.  There had to be more to life than this and if there wasn’t then what the hell was the point of anything? Why put up with all of this just to be a beige blip or boring in the grand scheme of things.

You craved excitement like that art student you dated in college who had a talent for body paint. Your mother haaaaated him and once he found out about your status he was done with you. You craved a person who could chill with you and be happy in just your company for days on end when the rest of the world became too overwhelming like that library assistant you dated for a couple of months until you found creepy poems everywhere and had to call it quits before you ended up the subject of a cold case study in a decades time. For some reason you always ended up with the weird guy who seemed great… until he wasn’t.

Your luck wasn’t any better when your mother set up the dates. There was the lawyer who always had to argue with you and spoke over the top of you, there was the medical student with the foot fetish, there was the personal trainer who didn’t believe in showers, the stock broker with anger management issues and a possessive streak, the list went on. Back in the day Suho, Baekhyun and the others would laugh with you about these jerks and give you hope for the future but now, now you couldn’t help but feel like they thought you were a lost cause since you were the only one left who was single. Maybe you were just destined to be forever alone like Chanyeol had once suggested.

***

“Are you sure it isn’t you that’s the problem?” He asked.

You paused as you brought your coffee up to your lips. “Wow. Thanks Kai. You’re a beacon of positivity you know that?”

Kai pressed on. “Think about it. You’ve been on countless dates and all of them, every single guy you’ve ever dated hasn’t been good enough. You’ve found a flaw in every single one. People have flaws, it’s normal. It’s not normal to have gone on like 50 dates in the past 2 years and still have nothing to show for it.”

“You couldn’t be more of a finance guy if you tried. I know people have flaws but don’t you dare try to tell me I should have just looked past Jason’s poetry thing.”

“Oh fuck no. That guy was a textbook serial killer in the making, you’re lucky you got away from that relatively unscathed.”

“Kai, they’ve all be terrible. I don’t know what to tell you… maybe the guy for me just isn’t in this universe. Maybe he was here but he died before I could meet him and now I’m alone forever.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“You’re lucky I like you Kai. Now are you going to help me get into one of Suho’s parties or have I just wasted a half hour at this overpriced cafe?”

Kai laughed and put his drink down. “Just go through your phone and find the least terrible guy you ever went out with and see if he’s up for playing along for a night. Suho will know if you just bring a guy you’ve never met before - it’s kind of how he caught Baekhyun out.”

“And here I was thinking it was because she was propositioning Sehun in the kitchen or when she told Xiumin her price list that really gave her away.” You deadpanned.

“You know what, you might be right.” He laughed and shook his head. “We are lucky he’s finally settled down, single Baekhyun was wild.”

You checked your phone and realised you had to be back at work in 20 minutes so you thanked Kai for brunch and headed back to your office.

***

Your phone was mocking you, you were sure of it. It felt like a stone in your hand ever since brunch with Kai. His words kept coming back to you but every time you opened your contact list and started scrolling you felt like the world’s biggest loser. What would you even say to any of these guys if you called? Hi I’m pathetic and still alone but please date me for one night so I can go to a party? Yes I know things didn’t work out between us in the past but what’s one night for old times sake? Ugh. You needed wine if you were going to stoop this low.

One hour and five glasses of wine later you were three quarters through your contact list and you had gained nothing. If anything you’d lost some dignity in the process but you’d also deleted about 10 numbers from your phone for good, ones that were disconnected or if the conversation felt too forced or if he was rude. You cursed Kai, so far this was a horrible walk down memory lane of your failed love life. What you saw in any of these men was beyond you. One conversation stood out so far - Lance. Lance was clearly a low point of your dating life, really the name said it all. Stereotypical frat boy, on the rowing team, thinks women are to be seen and never heard, thinks the ability to do a keg stand makes him a certified legend. Lance was more than happy to chat with you tonight, to catch up on old times and tell you all about himself and how well he was doing at the law firm he was a partner in. Not once did he ask about you. His response when you’d asked, through gritted teeth because you were certain you’d end up killing him on the way to the party, was “Cool, cool, look sweetcheeks I’d like nothing more than spend a night with you but I don’t do the whole date thing plus I haven’t seen you in years - you gotta send a guy some pics first. You should just come over later tonight, we can have a party of our own if you know what I mean.” You actually felt greasy after talking to him and never before had you deleted a number from your phone so quickly, because fuck ever talking to him again.

Sighing and pouring your sixth glass you settled into your couch and scrolled to the last three numbers. If none of these provided results you were back to square one. You glanced at the remaining names, remembering who they were and if they were worth calling. Taekyeon was a med student in college and you’d lived in the same dorm. He was actually a really good guy back then. You recalled that one time where you were so horrifically hungover after one bad night out and he’d somehow procured a drip and solution to hook up to you to rehydrate you as well as feed you painkillers and took care of you. He’d never asked for anything in return either. You dialled his number and waited as it rang.

“Hello?” A male voice answered.

“Hi, is this Taekyeon?” You asked.

“It is...who am I speaking with?” He responded hesitantly.

After you got past formalities and got to chatting you didn’t even bother bringing the proposition up. Instead you made up some lie about a project you were working on and needing to reconnect with your past. You were right, he was still a great guy. So great that he was a pediatrician, married and had two adorable children. It got you nowhere with needing a fake boyfriend for a night but it was wonderful to chat to him again after all this time and he seemed just as happy to chat with you. He promised to call again after he returned from a work conference so that he could invite you over for dinner to meet his wife and children.

“After all, I owe you for not letting me turn into one of those awful frat boys. You kept me in line so my morals never wavered.” You couldn’t really turn the guy down. Not when you could tell he was serious about having you meet his family and really, you were a little bit curious to see how he turned out.

“It was the least I could do, you were younger and more impressionable. I just didn’t want you to turn into a jerk, especially if I had to live next to you for four years. Don’t think of it as a selfless act!”

He laughed and the two of you continued chatting for a bit before saying your goodbyes and promising to speak again soon. With a smile you moved down to the next name, Wonsik. Wonsik...Wonsik… who the hell was he? You racked your brain to try and pull up some detail that would enlighten you as to who this guy was. Was he that forgettable? Or is he just some random dude? You sat for what felt like hours trying to work out who he might be but in the end you took a big sip of wine, threw caution to the wind and dialled. As you waited for the mystery man to answer his phone you continued to mull over the name in your mind.

“Heeeey! It’s been so long since we last spoke. How have you been?!” a bright and cheerful voice greeted you from the other end of the phone line. Who the hell IS this guy? Why does he seem to know me...that would mean my name is saved in his phone. So we must have met in the last year.

“Hi! I know it’d been ages. I’ve just been so busy. What have you been up to?” You decided to play along like you remembered who he was to see if he’d give away any clues that might jog your memory.

“Oh you know, same as usual - museum stuff. Preparing the newest exhibition which has been taking up all of my time. Honestly the hoops you have to jump through to have artifacts leant to a museum is just mind boggling. Anyway please, tell me what you’ve been up to. I had honestly given up on hearing from you again.”

No. no no no no no. You remembered him now. Eight months ago you had a weak moment and joined Tinder. This guy had matched well with you so you’d chatted and organised a date. He seemed nice enough, he still did now, but you remembered getting the strangest vibe from him during that date. Something about him made you feel unsafe and you just wanted to be as far away from him as possible the whole time you were on your date. Being a smart woman you’d told a few friends about the date and teed them up to contact you an hour in to check on you, providing a believable reason to end the date early if you needed to. You did this with any date you went on but this was the only time you’d used it.

“Oh just the same, work and more work. I’m sorry if I bothered you, I’ve just been going through my phone checking all of the numbers in here - it’s been playing up lately. So this call was just to confirm that it’s still you. I wish I could chat longer but I really do have to go.”

“Yep, still me! Ah well hopefully we can meet up again one day and finish that date. It was such a nice surprise to see your name come up.”

You made loose promises to talk again sometime and hung up. Instead of deleting you made a note in his contact information - Tinder date - so that you would remember not to ever call or answer his calls, deleting his number could mean that you’d answer him and be stuck talking to him again and you really didn’t want to be caught off guard like that.

The final name stared at you. You knew this name and you had a sinking feeling about it. You used to work for Yesung as an intern. He was only a few years older than you and he was handsome. The two of you had dabbled in an office fling. It had been hot and heavy but it was short lived since both of you desired your careers more than each other. You both knew it was only lust and proximity that kept causing you to end up in compromising positions so you’d put a stop to it after one too many close calls. He was a nice enough guy but he was a workaholic so you weren’t sure if he’d be down to play pretend with you for an evening.

You put the phone down and made your way back to the kitchen to pour another glass of wine only to find the bottle empty. Had you had six glasses already? It was probably a sign to stop drinking for the night before you regretted it the next day. The storm outside intensified as rain pelted against the windows. If I’m making this call I need to do it before the thunderstorm starts. You grabbed a bottle of water from your fridge and headed back to the couch. You unlocked your phone and your thumb hovered over the dial button. Fuck it. You thought as you pressed his number. It rang and rang and rang until you were sure it would go to voicemail but at the last second a voice answered.

“Hello?” a warm voice greeted you from the other end of the line. It wasn’t how you remembered Yesung’s voice but it had been a few years so you weren’t sure.

“Hi, is this Yesung?” You asked tentatively.

“Oh, sorry. No this used to be his phone, it hasn’t been for years though. Was it personal or business?” The voice answered. Dammit. I called everyone and came up empty handed.

“A bit of both really.” You lied. You were feeling a little pathetic now but your manners meant that you would continue this conversation until it was polite to end it.

“Maybe I can help with the business part. I work with him now.” You thought this voice sounded younger than Yesung. Maybe he was his new intern? You didn’t really care. His voice was nice though and after a bottle of wine the warmth in his voice made you feel a little less pathetic.

“Oh uh, I don’t think you can. It was more a proposition. I used to work for Yesung.” You replied. If he’s not an ass he’ll ask more questions.

“Hmmm why not just tell me it’s a personal call then?” He chuckled.

He had a point. Why lie? “I don’t know, it’s late and I might have had some wine but I also don’t know who you are. Why should I give you a proper answer?”

He laughed. “Yeah, coz that makes total sense.”

“Oh shut up.” You snapped.

“Do I know you?” He asked. Surely he didn’t? Did he?

“Why? Don’t many people tell you to shut up?” You quipped.

“Ha. No, your voice sounds familiar. I can’t place it though. You said you used to work to Yesung though right?” He wasn’t letting this drop, he must actually think he knew you.

“Mmmhmm” You were unsure how much you wanted to divulge to a complete stranger. For all you knew he was just playing with you.

“When did you work for him?”

“A few years ago.” It was a vague enough answer that he shouldn’t be able to get much out of it.

“As…?” He pressed.

“I was an intern.”

“Oooh! I DO know you!” He sounded excited on the other end of the call.

“Well, can you enlighten me? Because I’m drawing a blank here.” You exclaimed, confused at how the hell he’d seemingly worked out who you were, or that he knew you.

“Ah wae! I’m not sure if I should be offended that you don’t remember me just by my voice.” He feigned offence at your lack of memory. The whiny complaining he did triggered something in your memory but.. It couldn’t be… could it?

“Wait...Chen?” A handful of you used to go to karaoke rooms after work on Fridays and Chen was the guy with the voice of an angel. You had no idea why he wasn’t a professional singer but you could have sat and listened to him sing for hours. Surely this wasn’t him? Chen was always argumentative and loud at work, not this soft spoken voice you were currently talking to.

“Ah, you do remember me. I’m flattered.How have you been?” Now that you knew it was him you couldn’t work out how it hadn’t clicked earlier. That voice, that warm and inviting and vexing voice.

“Good I guess.” You answered softly. You weren’t really expecting that question from him. You had been mentally preparing yourself to deflect the ‘why did you call’ question that would inevitably be brought up again.

“So good that you’re calling your old boss’ phone on a weeknight at 11pm? What’s going on?” Damn. Apparently you weren’t going to evade this question any longer.

“Uh. Don’t worry about it.” You mumbled. There was no way you were telling Chen why you rang. He was a smartass and a tease if you remembered correctly and as nice as his voice was, you wouldn’t enjoy it if he was making fun of you.

“If you don’t tell me I’m just going to assume it was a booty call & I’ll be sure to tell him all about it tomorrow.” He teased.

“You wouldn’t!” You exclaimed. It had been too many years for you to know for sure if he was bluffing or not.

“Wouldn’t I? I can even give him your number and I’m sure you remember how he is when his ego is inflated by pretty women.” He teased.

“Oh I remember now. I hate you.”

Chen couldn’t speak because he was laughing so hard at you. Eventually he pulled himself together enough to speak “Then tell me why you rang and avoid this fate.”

“You’ll only make fun of me so either way it’s a bad result for me.” You whined.

“Either I can make fun of you or Yesung can call you expecting you to offer up sex… your choice. I know what I’d pick but hey… maybe you were just after a booty call. Maybe I’m doing you a favour by handing Yesung your number… You can thank me later. Send a gift basket or something.”

You nearly choked on the water you were drinking when he’d spoken. “Oh my god. I needed a date ok? It wasn’t a booty call. Jesus Chen.”

“You needed a date & Yesung was who you called? There has to be more to this. Come on, make my night interesting and tell me.” He egged you on. Something in his voice, something in the way he spoke made you want to tell him more but you weren’t giving it up for nothing. If you were about to tell Chen how desperate you were then he was going to have to offer something in return.

“What do I get in return for telling you? I’m not drunk enough to just drop it on you and the shred of dignity I have left isn’t going easily.”

“I… promise I won’t laugh at you or judge you.” He replied.

“You’ve already done both of those things!” You exclaimed. No way were you letting him lowball you like that.

“Fine. I’ll sing for you. Is that a better offer?”

“Actually yes, it is.” You reluctantly launched into your tale of why you were calling Yesung and why you needed a date. You tried to brush over the part where you were, for lack of a better phrase, forever alone and kept it as simple as possible. True to his word he didn’t laugh but he did remain silent for a painfully long stretch of time before he spoke again.

“I cannot believe I promised you I wouldn’t laugh. You’re not kidding are you?” He said, his voice trembling as he tried to keep his promise.

“Nope. This is my life.”

“Fuck me. Firstly, let me say that your friend sounds like a dick. What kind of jerk only holds couples parties? I might not know you that well but I know you shouldn’t be spending your night calling every guy in your phone just to see if you can convince them to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. No offence but it kind of makes you look crazy. Secondly, is your contacts list that sad that you got all the way down to Yesung’s name and still hadn’t found anyone who would do this for you?”

“It’s the last name on the list. Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t you promise not to judge me Chen?” You chided.

“Not judging you, just your choices. Anyway, that brings me to my third point. I’ll do it. I know you weren’t expecting to talk to me tonight or anything but this whole thing is too amusing to not want to be a part of it. So if you are still in need, which I’m pretty sure you are, I’ll fill the role.” You were sure you’d heard wrong, there was no way Chen had just solved your problem. Surely not. You must have lost your mind or only heard what you wanted to hear because you could have sworn he said he’d do it.

“What? Seriously? You’ll do it? Chen, you have no idea how much you’d be helping me out!” You practically beamed down the line. He had to hear the sudden uplift in your tone and pitch. You’d honestly thought when Yesung didn’t answer, well actually even before that, that you would be back to square one and still alone. Suddenly there was a light at the end of the tunnel. You had plans for this party, plans to tell Suho exactly what you thought of his couples only crap at some point of the night but you’d play along until the perfect moment then throw it in his face. Was it petty? A little. Was it deserved? You thought so. How could he still call himself your friend if he organised events and wouldn’t let you attend on your own?

“I never said I’d do it for free, but we can discuss my price later. I think we should meet up for coffee tomorrow to reconnect and get some facts straight. If we’re going to fake date we need fake dating history.”

***

You stop outside of the cafe entrance and internally debate for what has to be the eighth time since hanging up the phone last night whether or not this is a horrible idea. What if you went inside and he never turned up? How would you handle rejection from a fake boyfriend? What if he was in there but he mocked you or judged you for your forever alone status? What if he thought you were pathetic? For the eighth time you reminded yourself that he suggested this meeting after he agreed to be your fake boyfriend. He’d been so amused at your inability to find someone but also so pissed that your choice of friends sucked that badly that you needed a fake boyfriend in order to hang out with them. He’d texted you a time and a place after you hung up last night so you steeled your nerves and pushed the door open.

Once you were inside you looked around, searching for him. A hand waved from the back left corner and beckoned you over. You started walking towards him and relaxed when you saw his smiling face. “Good, I was starting to think you’d chickened out on the whole thing.” He exclaimed when you slid into the seat across from him.

“Why a booth in the back corner Chen?” You asked. The cafe wasn’t that busy that he had to choose the seats furthest away from any of the other customers.

He shrugged. “I wasn’t sure how comfortable we’d be discussing the semantics of our fake relationship so I opted for some privacy.” He pointed to his hot chocolate. “Please, order something to drink or a snack, it’s on me.”

You wait for the waitress to appear then order an iced chocolate. You and Chen make small talk until the waitress returns with your drink, then he gets straight into it. “I think we should incorporate our real history into this fake backstory, it makes it easier to lie when half of the lie is truth.”

“It won’t make it weird?” You ask.

“Not at all.” He responds, taking a sip from his hot chocolate. “Hear me out. We met a few years ago through work. You were an intern and I was an office lackey. We had the same boss and on Friday nights after work a group of us would all go out for drinks and karaoke. The two of us hung out and got to know each other. We became friendly but we were both off limits, I had a girlfriend and you were kind of seeing someone. We remained friends until you finished your internship and left, losing contact with each other until about a month ago.” He paused while you processed the story so far. So far it wasn’t fake, it was just exactly your history with Chen. You weren’t really sure where he was headed with it but you were curious.

“What happened last month?” You asked.

A slight smile formed on his face, knowing he’d reeled you in so far. “A month ago you had one of the worst blind dates of your life. I’m talking the guy was drunk and lewd to the point where you told him you were going to use the restroom but instead left the restaurant and went to the bar down the road. You were sitting at the bar quietly having a few drinks to try and wash the evening away when we ran into each other. We got to talking and caught up on each others lives - me getting promoted to junior partner, having my fiance cheat on me and you having a string of bad luck with love but success with your career. We kept drinking and chatting and once we realised that we were both single, flirting. One thing led to another and you let me get you home. I left your doorstep with the promise of a date and a month later we’re still dating.” He sat back and waited for you to chip in with your two cents on his story. It was good, almost too good actually. For one thing, you could definitely retell that blind date because you’d been on one like that. The rest was plausible and enough that not too many questions would be asked.

“It’s good.” You eat a spoonful of cream from the top of your iced chocolate. “I think that’ll work well actually. The truth thing does make it a lot easier, honestly I hadn’t thought of it from this perspective. Plus I’ve been on that horrible date so that won’t be a stretch of the imagination should anyone want details.”

Chen’s eyes widened. “Seriously? You’ve been on a date that bad?”

You laughed defeatedly. “You have no idea.”

“Wow. I thought I’d concocted a date so bad that no one would want to know more but I didn’t think anyone actually had dates that bad. What kind of- nevermind. We’re getting off topic. Are you happy with the backstory?”

You nod and continue to spoon the cream off your drink. “I like it. Honestly I had no idea what we were going to tell them if they asked but of all the options I thought up last night, none of them are as simple and realistic as yours. Way to choose the most believable one” You smile and laugh to yourself.

The two of you keep chatting and catching up on each others lives. A lot had happened to both of you since you’d lost contact. You’d forgotten how easygoing and warm Chen was. Hanging out with him brightened your day and you hadn’t realised how much you’d missed this feeling. He can’t contain his laughter as you enlighten him with your failed dating history. At one point he is in tears from laughing so hard after hearing about a particularly bad date with the non showering personal trainer and he begged you to stop talking. You swapped the conversation to find out more about him, pressing to see if the whole fiance and being cheated on thing was true and you were appalled to find out that it was.

It was the aforementioned girlfriend from when you worked together. He’d fallen head over heels for her and after a year and a half of dating they were engaged. Chen had never been happier, he was progressing in his career and he had the love of his life by his side. Sadly it turned out that the love of his life was a manipulative bitch who had been using him. He’d noticed something was off when she accused him of stealing her phone. He went to talk to a friend about her behaviour but as he spoke he realised more and more things she’d done to him. He was so in love with her that he hadn’t noticed her toxic behaviour but now there was no going back. He’d arrived home early from an out of town business trip and went home to surprise her only to arrive home to something that shattered his heart. It’s one thing to know that someone is manipulative, it’s another to see just how little you mean to them in person.

She was in his apartment fucking not one, but two guys in their bed. Once the men saw him they hightailed it out of there, not wanting to be a part of whatever conversation happened next. She didn’t even try to apologise. No, she tried to turn it back around and make it his fault that she cheated. He was so heartbroken and disgusted that he simply told her she had 3 hours to pack all of her shit, return her keys and get out of his life for good then turned around and left the building.

You were so mad for him at the end of his story that you didn’t notice the tear escape your eye until he reached forward and caught it on your cheek. You flinched at his touch which didn’t escape his notice. “Hey, don’t get worked up over it. I’m past it and I’m much stronger and self reliant now. I’m also a much better judge of character than I once was so out of all of that pain some good occurred too.” He smiled gently at you. “What worries me now is that you flinched when I touched you, and you’ve done the opposite of what a girlfriend should do every time I’ve touched you or looked into your eyes since we started chatting. You’re too tense.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise we were acting from now Chen. Here I was thinking we were just catching up as friends.”

He chuckled. “We are but I figured I’d test how you responded to me touching you. You do know that for this whole thing to be believable you have to act natural when I invade your personal space. We’re supposed to have been dating for a month now and if you flinch at any point and someone notices then we’re done for.”

He got up and moved to the other side of the booth, sliding in next to you. What the hell was he doing? Why was he so close all of a sudden? Was he always this handsome? You shook your head and looked at him with a confused expression on your face. “Chen what are you doing?”

He cocked his head as though you should already know the answer to your question but when you made no attempt at speaking again he sighed and filled you in. “We are going to sit here and chat until you act natural with me being so close to you, with me looking into your eyes, with me touching you. If we can’t master this then there’s no point in going through with it.”

You furrow your brow and ask. “So...we’re acting like we’re a couple now?”

He nods, a playful grin spreading across his face. “Yep. A smitten couple. One month in you’re still clinging to each other, still completely absorbed in one another, inseparable. So if you want to pull this lie off, you need to get comfortable with me.”

So you sit there, incredibly close to Chen and continue chatting. Now that there wasn’t a table separating the two of you he’s even more disarming. You knew he was handsome having sat in a karaoke bar and stared at him on more than one occasion but that was when he floored you with his voice, after that you really looked at him and noticed the handsome man that lay beneath his bright and joking demeanour. You’d never been this close to him before though. He’d swiveled you so that you were facing him and pulled you closer to him. His hand rested on your thigh while the other alternated between playing with your fingers, holding your hand and brushing your hair off your face. His touch was somehow gentle and firm at the same time and his hands were warm, you could still feel where he touched you after his hand had moved away.

Maintaining eye contact was the difficult part. His deep brown eyes told you more than his words did and you were afraid you’d see pity in them if you stared for too long. The last thing you wanted was his pity, you knew you were pathetic and he’d been doing a wonderful job at making you forget how pathetic you were but you couldn’t help that niggling voice from returning to tell you that he was only doing this whole fake boyfriend thing because it amused him.

Every time you broke eye contact he’d squeeze your thigh or lift your head back up to look at him before starting again. He leant forward and whispered in your ear at one point. “The sooner you stop averting your gaze, the sooner you can go home and get ready for this party. If you can’t do it then I guess our deal is off which would be a shame since we’ve put in at least two hours of work at this point.” When he leant back you saw the smirk on his face and you steeled your resolve. You could do this. You could hold eye contact and withstand his touches and act like a smitten couple and you would do it to prove to him that you could.

The next time you break eye contact it’s not because of fear of judgement or pity. It’s because you felt something. Something about his gaze and his touches had made you feel too hot. You’d felt exposed and you wanted to run away or throw yourself at him and you were embarrassed. “Ah wae! You were doing so well!” He exclaimed and you tried to brush it off as nothing. He made you repeat the task again until you were able to hold eye contact the entire time. You were certain that you’d gone a shade of pink or red by the time you passed Chen’s tests but if you were he said nothing.

His eyes and touches made you feel warm and on edge and you were trying your hardest to keep yourself together but you kept noticing his gaze, his inviting lips, his arms, his legs, his touch and you were going a little insane. Did he sense it too? Or was he just playing his role? You had no idea but you needed to leave this cafe soon before you made a fool of yourself. “Chen, thank you for helping me. I still don’t know why you’re helping me but I’m choosing just to go with it at this point. I need to get back to work so I can leave on time to get ready for this party.” He checks his watch and lets you know he should be getting back too. He pays for your drink and snack then heads back to work & tells you he’ll pick you up at 7 at your place so the two of you can go over the plan once more. He smiles and gives you a quick hug before leaving.

***

Quit acting like a moron and get ready. It’s fake so of course he was acting sweet and endearing, it’s his role, nothing more. Ever since you’d left the cafe you’d been feeling strange. It had felt like you’d seen him, really seen him, for the first time and it was having an effect on you. You kept thinking about him, about his warm eyes, his mischievous lips, his charming words and his proximity to you. Every small touch he made seared into your skin, every gesture, every glance, it all felt too intimate and it was driving you crazy. You hadn’t counted on your emotions not realising that he was only acting that way because of the arrangement the two of you had. He’d been right, if you hadn’t spent the extra time getting comfortable being so close and touchy with each other then tonight would be a bust. Apparently your brain had decided to ignore the arrangement and instead focused on how his touches made you feel and how he smelled, the way his arms flexed when he moved, they way he looked at you. It clouded your vision and you felt too hot and overwhelmed. You’d been glad to leave the cafe before you did anything stupid and the fresh air was a welcome change to the encompassing tension of everything Chen you were now experiencing.

You stared in the mirror as you evaluated your outfit. The dress you chose was cute, a retro 50’s style pin up dress so it showed just enough cleavage, nipped in at your waist then poofed out into a full skirt. The couples party had a retro theme and the dress coupled with flawless make up and rockabilly hairstyle made you fit the part perfectly. You had no idea what Chen was going to wear but he told you he had it covered and you were willing to believe him. You kept trying to remind yourself not to read into anything tonight and not to let your emotions take over because you were going to pretend to be smitten with this guy and you had the slightest fear that you would feel sad and alone after he dropped you home tonight. You needed to go through with it though. If this was the only way you got to give Suho and your friends a piece of your mind about how unfair and terrible they were as friends then so be it.

A knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts. You make your way to your front door and open it. You had spent a decent amount of time trying to guess what Chen would wear tonight and for some reason you’d kept landing on suit as the option but you were wrong. Standing in front of you was temptation. He was dressed in blue jeans, a white v-neck tee and a black leather jacket. He’d gelled his hair back and looked like he’d stepped out of Grease or Crybaby. You sent a silent curse to the universe because he looked so good that it wasn’t fair. The suffocating tension that you felt earlier returned tenfold and you could do little more than stare at him.

His mouth quirked up into a smirk as he watched you stare at him unabashedly. He leant against your doorframe and watched as you tried to compose yourself. It gave him plenty of time to stare at you. “Hi doll.”

The only words you could get out were “How dare you.”

He quirked an eyebrow at you encouraging you to elaborate. “How dare I what?”

“How dare you turn up looking like this. You know it’s rude to look better than your date don’t you?”

He chuckles and very obviously gives you a once over. “Clearly you haven’t looked in the mirror because you, you look amazing.” You looked beautiful, more than beautiful, incredible. And sexy. Something he was not prepared for. He was prepared for cute and for pretty but not for the bombshell standing before him.

As his eyes raked over you you felt yourself heating up. “So, uh… are you gonna let me in or are we conducting this discussion purely in the doorway? I don’t mind either way but I’d like to know so I can get comfortable if you aren’t letting me in.” His words brought you back to reality and you finally remembered your manners. You stepped aside and let him enter the room.

As you closed the door his hand grabbed you, spinning you around and pulling you into an embrace. You were glad he couldn’t see the blush forming on your face. “So, how did we meet?”

He was testing you again. You tried to remind your brain of this fact but it was no use, it was giving in to the feeling of having Chen pressed against you and part of you couldn’t blame it...it was a damn nice feeling. But it wasn’t real. “We met a few years ago through work when I was an intern.” you responded, running your hands along his firm arms.

He rubs circles into your hips with his thumbs. “How long have we been dating?”

You rested your head in the crook of his neck as you replied, your body betraying you as you tried to get closer to him. “Just over a month now.”

He lowered his head and whispered in your ear. “Why are we only dating now?”

The feel of his hands roaming over you was making you light headed as you tried to concentrate on answering him. “W-we were both seeing other people at the time so we were only ever friends. We ran into each other a month ago and hit it off. The rest is history.”

“Now this if more like it, you aren’t awkward at our proximity. I can officially say that you stand a chance of fooling these ‘friends’ of yours tonight.” He detached himself from you and stepped back, smiling down at you.

See, it’s an act. He’s just putting on an act. He isn’t feeling what you’re feeling. Why would he? Your subconscious, ever the downer, decides to rear its head and berate you with negative thoughts. It usually waited until after the date before it ruthlessly came for you but it was determined to make an early start tonight.

You forced a smile and hoped that Chen didn’t notice it. “Then your method of teaching was a success.”

He stepped forward, cupping your face in his hands, his eyes laced with concern. “Are you ok?”

Apparently he did notice the shift in your demeanour. You tried to nod which must have looked ridiculous since his hands hadn’t left your face. “I’m good, just nervous. I promise.”

He didn’t move away. He stayed there, hands holding your face as his eyes darted to assess if you were being truthful or not. His gaze didn’t meet your eyes as he spoke quietly, voice lower than it had been moments ago. “You know, there is one thing we haven’t covered off on.”

“What’s that?” You whispered.

“Where we had our first kiss.” His eyes lifted to look you in the eyes now as he tried to gauge your reaction.

You didn’t miss the way he licked his lips or the way his eyes kept dropping to stare at your mouth. Your brain was a mess and couldn’t work out if this was another test or if he was flirting with you now. All you knew in that moment was that you really wanted him to kiss you. “I, well, wouldn’t it be a month ago when you walked me home. We would have kissed on my door stop before you, ever the gentleman, took your leave.” You let your eyes fall to his lips, they looked soft and inviting and you really wanted to know what they’d feel like, what he’d taste like. Would his kiss be soft or would it be demanding?

“Oh, did you think I was a gentleman?” He moved his hand to push a strand of your hair back behind your ear and your breath hitched. He stilled and searched your eyes for any sign that he should stop and he found none. “Fuck it.” he breathed before closing the distance between the two of you and pressed his lips against yours.

For a moment you couldn’t do anything except stand there but then your body seemed to remember how to react and you reciprocated, kissing him back with fervour. He help you against him as your mouths moved and your kiss deepend. His lips were incredibly soft and skilled, which you silently thanked the universe for, and you could barely get enough of them.

The two of you parted only to catch your breaths as he pressed his forehead against yours. “Sorry if I overstepped a boundary or something but I’ve been wanting to do that for hours.”

“Don’t you dare apologise Chen.” His eyes widened as you pulled his face back down to yours and kissed his again, your tongue flicking against his as he walked you backwards until you were pressed against the wall. You could barely remember how to breathe as he peppered kisses along your jaw and neck before returning to your mouth and drawing your bottom lip between his teeth, causing you to moan.

Things only escalated from there, clothes were hastily stripped from your bodies as you made your way down the hall to your bedroom, leaving a trail of discarded garments in your wake, only breaking contact to lift his shirt over his head. Your kisses became more urgent and passionate as he pushed you down onto the bed.

The only word you have to describe the sex is ravaging. As you lie next to him, both of you panting trying to catch your breaths and have your heart rates return to normal you replay the events that just occurred. He’d pushed you down onto the bed and positioned himself at the end of the bed with his head between your legs. You’d tried to close your legs out of embarrassment but he held them open, telling you that you looked beautiful like this, all spread out just for him. He nipped, sucked and licked until you were a writhing mess begging for him to let you cum. He led you to the edge of your release repeatedly but backed off right before it hit you. “Do you want to cum doll? Maybe you should show me just how much you want me to let you cum.”

He stood at the end of the bed as you knelt on it and took his length into your mouth, working him over with vigour and need. He’d hissed and moaned when you took all of him in your mouth and moaned, telling you just how well you sucked cock. He didn’t let you finish him off. He pushed you back onto your back and pinned your hands above your head before entering you in one thrust. You’d cried out at the stretch and he’d stilled as you adjusted to him. When he started moving again you saw stars. He would alternate between rolling his hips and relentlessly pounding into you and soon enough you were screaming his name and begging for him to let you cum. This time he complied, chasing his own release shortly after yours crashed over you.

You giggled and he turned his head to look at you. “We’re going to be late now.” He laughed and pulled you against him to snuggle.

***

The party was more or less a success. You had turned up with Chen on your arm and hung out with your friends. It was almost too easy to forget why you were pissed with them when you were enjoying catching up on their lives and they were so engaged with yours but you didn’t forget.

When Suho came up to tell you how glad he was that Chen had come into your life so that you weren’t sad and alone any more you snapped. You told him in no uncertain terms that if it took having a boyfriend for him to want to catch up with you then he could shove his friendship up his ass because you deserved better. You didn’t hold back - you told him how upset you had been when all you wanted to do was hang out with your friends but you were rejected time and time again because you were alone. You told him how worthless he made you feel and how he should be ashamed of how he’d acted.

The party fell silent as everyone stood in shock at your outburst. After a few moments you heard a slow whistle followed by Baekhyun’s voice. “Dude, you fucked uuuup.” You turned on him next.

“No Baekhyun. All of you fucked up.” He shut up after that.

When you were done telling all of them just how terribly they’d treated you Chen took your arm and gently pulled you to him. “I think we’ll be taking our leave now.”

He took you home. The ride home was silent as he let you process your thoughts and emotions. He rested his hand on the console, palm facing up as an invitation to take his hand should you need it. You didn’t need it but you wanted the comfort of his touch so you took it and he gently squeezed your hand.

“For the record, you did the right thing and for what it’s worth I’m proud of you.” He paused. “I could see the internal struggle you were having all night and I wasn’t sure if you’d be able to go through with your plan.” His tone was so gentle and it made you feel warm and safe.

“Until I did it I honestly didn’t know if I would.” You whispered. He squeezed your hand again and continued driving in silence. When you arrived at your home he walked you up to your doorstep and embraced you. You relaxed into the hug and smiled.

“So, now comes the business end of my deal.” You stiffened at his words. You’d completely forgotten that he had told you there would be a price for having him pretend to be your boyfriend. Apprehension seeped through your veins as you waited for him to enlighten you.

His silence got the better of you. “What’s the price?”

“A real date. In three days time.” He watched your face break out into a genuine smile, one he could get used to seeing, before you pulled him down into a kiss.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it!

[sparklyaxolotlstudent]

How to Succeed thanks to Spite. 2

AKA The Ladybug Puppet Show

Not much advance in the plot, just some ham and cheese.

---------------

Marinette was having a good day.

Ever since seeing the movie, she thought it was bad, like, really bad, but since she is Ladybug, she thought that her opinion might be biased. Or the fact that she watched it with Adrien at her side, and there were times she didn’t really paid attention for daydreaming.

But Alya and Nino and Rose and Juleka and everyone else had agreed with her that the movie was awful. Well, everyone except Lila, who thought the movie was deserving of an Oscar and claimed to practically have made it herself. Oh boy, her face when Alya and the rest of the class said the movie sucked and she should know better about Ladybug because she claimed to be her best friend. Marinette’s heart warmed at the memory. And then Lila sobbed and tried to make a sad story about how she had to change stuff so people wouldn’t figure the identity of Ladybug, and while people started to doubt, Alya and Chloe had asked more questions, cornering Lila, who resorted to crocodile tears, but at this point nobody really cared. Marinette even saw a few people rolling their eyes at her. Even Rose and Mylene!

Unbeknown to Marinette, Hawk Moth had felt Lila’s rage at being defied…

“Ah, deceit, jealousy and… is that damn girl again? Seriously? Pft, to think I almost missed my telenovela for her… again. Nooroo, Dark Wings Fold!” Hawk Moth transformed into Gabriel Agreste, and a tiny purple being manifested from his brooch. "C’mon Nooroo, let’s go watch your telenovela. Today Temo will finally confess to Aris that he likes him.”

“Right master… my telenovela” said Nooroo, rolling his eyes behind his current holder.

So for the first time, Lila’s temper tantrum hasn’t transformed into an akuma (An considering Mr. Pigeon had appeared like 20 times already, it said something that even Hawk Moth was getting tired of her. And now she had transformed and was patrolling. She hoped to run into Chat to discuss the movie; as she could finally tell him that he had seen it, now that it was officially out.

And lo and behold, she found Chat on the roof where he had prepared a date. Not that she officially knew about that one either.

“Hey Kitty Cat!”

“Hey Buggy… bug!”

“Buggy Bug? Wow, you’re getting bad with puns.”

“Well, excuse me M’lady… I saw the movie… Is that how people see me? A creepy stalker gloomy Batman loser wannabe?”

“Of course not, That Guy just has no idea how to write believable human beings. And if anything, I am the Batman here. You’re more like Spider-man.”

“… I can live with that.”

The two of them kept talking about the movie, Ladybug finding solace in the fact that Chat shared many of her opinions… and those of her friends, including Adrien. He even used the same Batman slash Wolverine analogy! Maybe she should try to introduce them someday. Then again, Chat Noir might be a bad influence on Adrien.

They heard a “ping” sound, and Chat Noir took his cheerleader baton out of his lower back, which sounds very weird if you don’t know about him. Ladybug raised an eyebrow.

“I setted this thing so  that it would tell me when the Ladyblog updated something. Oh, hey, Alya uploaded a new video”

“Wonder what it is, we haven’t had an akuma fight in days.”

“Don’t jinx it. Bad luck is my territory, being a black cat and all of that”

Chat Noir opened the video and they both watched.

The thing was hilarious. Instead of making a rant about how inaccurate the movie had been, or how ridiculous the whole premise was, Alya had made, with help of Nino no doubt,  sort of a review of the Ladybug movie, but splicing scenes and audio from the trailer, scenes from videos Alya herself had taken, and Alya in a very low budget Ladybug suit: a red shirt with uneven black spots made with marker, and her glasses with some red paper taped to them.

“She’s scared of cats, but powerless without her feline” The video started, with over the top dramatic music… and a crude drawing of Chat Noir as Nyan Cat, which Marinette would latter learn was Etta and Ella’s doing.

“I am so afraid of cats! Eek! Help me, help me! I’m so scared!” Alya said, while a video of Ladybug saving a cat from a tree was showing, with Alya syncing perfectly to Ladybug’s mouth, but not matching the mood at all.

“I work alone. I’m dangerous, if you interfere with my goals, I won’t hesitate to end you” was Nino in voice over, with an over the top gruff voice that no doubt must have hurt doing it, while an image of Chat Noir being playful and flirty with Ladybug played.

“I will conquer the world with my pigeons!” Surprisingly, the video was intact from how originally was. Although that had been the 14th time of Mr. Pigeon, not the first… still, it was about the only thing the movie had got right.

Ladybug and Chat Noir were laughing out loud when the video finished. And they ended up watching it several times, forgetting patrolling altogether.

Luckily for them, Gabriel Agreste also had an alarm for every time the Ladyblog updated… a shame that reporter girl had abandoned the idea of revealing Ladybug’s identity around the same time Rena Rouge had made her first appearance, otherwise she would probably have figured the identity of the three heroes already. Oh, and the identity of the Ninja Turtle who everyone seemed to forget always too. A shame really. Still, at least some times her information was still useful, like that time that they confessed that Chat Noir was allergic to pigeon feathers… oh, right, he had to remember to tell Nathalie to get Adrien’s medicine for allergies. Thanks to Alya he had akumatized Mr. Pigeon several times, he was not effective, but at least he was an annoyance to the heroic duo. And now the girl had made a video that made fun of that awful, awful movie that Adrien had been eager to participate. At least they had portrayed him like a Mafia Boss… which he honestly wasn’t sure if he should feel offended or flattered. Then again, they had made him a silent threat rather than have him do evil monologues. Now THAT was unforgivable.

--------------

Yes, Hawk Moth watched telenovelas with Nooroo, why do you think he spends so much time on his own? For plots of evil? PFT!

[nancydrew65]

SKAM Austin Season 2 Episode 10 (SEASON FINALE) Thoughts

We’re on the home stretch! Last episode, guys. I am going to be sad to see SKAM Austin go. Despite my misgivings about this season, I think they did an excellent job with the sexual assault storyline and it had several fantastic scenes. I hope SKAM Austin does Season 3 this fall, so that we can squeeze in Zoya’s season before the girls graduate.

Something Else

Are they sleeping on a couch? OK, not important.

I would have liked to linger on them sleeping a bit longer. In OG, this scene was so long, but it really gave you a feel of Noorhelm’s dynamic as a couple. You know, when William wasn’t acting like a total douche.

Daniel apologizes for his brother’s awful behavior which like, yeah, good… BUT dude, apologize for your own messed-up behavior too. This is one of the things that pisses me off the most about this character. He treats his girlfriend like shit when she tells him she may have been sexually assaulted and then he NEVER apologizes for it.

Grace proceeds to tell Daniel about her boyfriend back in Dallas. It is pretty much the same story as Noora’s. Daniel is very understanding about it which I appreciate. At least he hasn’t been like William, who basically disregarded Noora when she said she didn’t want to have sex.

For the most part, I actually really enjoyed this clip. I like that we got to see the conversation between Grace and Daniel about Grace’s past.

Future

Grace and Daniel are chilling as Grace finishes up her essay. It is too late for the deadline, but it did her some good just writing.

Daniel gets a call from Jo’s dad, his lawyer. If he gets charged, he might lose his scholarship and get jail time. Good job, SKAM Austin in actually providing stakes for Daniel. He has something to lose by telling the truth in this situation which will ultimately make his decision to do so that much more mature.

Grace asks if he is going to lie, and he says maybe. He has to think about his future.

Life in Italics

Grace and Daniel are going to Marlon’s band’s concert. On a Sunday? What?

They bump into Shay and Megan finally apologizes to her. Thank god. Shay tells her that Nic didn’t break up with her (Yay, Nic’s actually a good guy!) and she is sorry that she blamed the end of that relationship on Megan. This was a weird scene. I’m not quite sure what to make of it. Are they hinting at Megan/Shay? But then they mentioned Marlon again, so I don’t know.

The band performs. They have an… interesting sound.

Eve shows up and mentions that Shay is hot. Forshadowing for Shay moving into Grace’s house?

Can’t With You

I’m not quite sure what the girls are doing, but I think Jo is studying for an exam, perhaps?

Megan is sad that they have another pointless year until they graduate and… same, girl.

The girls tell Grace they are very proud of her for writing the essay and posting it online.

Kelsey says that her favorite line is: “Being brave is telling the truth to the people you love.” I’m guessing that alludes to Grace being brave enough to share her sexual assault with the girls.

Jo storms out right after that and Grace goes to follow her. She asks what is wrong.

Then we have this beautiful, original scene courtesy of SKAM Austin. Jo tells her that Grace can always count on her in a crisis and that she didn’t want to bring up anything before because Grace was going through a rough time, but now Grace is doing better and she has to get this off her chest. Jo is angry that Grace lied to Kelsey for over a year about the whole Daniel situation. She knows Kelsey forgave Grace, but she isn’t ready to do the same. I love Jo so much and I am infinitely glad they gave this speech to her. GIVE JO A SEASON!!!!!! I think this scene addresses a glossed-over aspect of Season 2, namely Grace’s treatment of Kelsey. In my opinion, Kelsey forgave Grace very quickly and that is OK, I am all for girls getting over boy drama between them. However, it never really felt like Grace’s behavior was ever addressed as being very wrong. I think SKAM Austin overall has done a really fabulous job with this topic. I loved Kelsey’s speech (it was my favorite out of all the Vilde’s) and I love this scene. It shows what a true friend Jo is to Kelsey and I am here for it. I think Grace really needed to hear this.

What Happens Now?

Grace is waiting outside the courthouse for Daniel (in a gorgeous outfit, I may add). 

Side note: I feel like in Season 1, Grace didn’t really have Noora’s distinctive style (which I really liked!), but in Season 2, they really emphasized Noora’s style in her. I feel like it made her less of her own character, so I wasn’t a big fan of that choice. (I still think all her outfits are really cute, though.)

Daniel tells Grace that he told the truth. He couldn’t get her voice out of his head. This is the moment where this character gets the most character growth. Dare I say, the ONLY moment he gets character growth? And I really like that, obviously. (No one is campaigning harder than me for the William character to be a good guy). However, this is Grace’s season and I wish she had her own moment of growth in the last episode, like Eva and Isak and Sana did in their own seasons. This is the one season where I feel like the main character doesn’t really grow as much as she could have, given the opportunity. And that is my main problem with Season 2 as a whole. It makes me very sad. Noora/Grace deserves better.

Losers

The little banter between Zoya and Grace about history class was so cute! I’m gonna miss these beautiful women.

Zoya says she kept her locker because she wanted to remind people that what happened to her was not normal. She and Grace talk about letting go of anger and getting closure. “Maybe closure is not getting closure” Zoya quotes. OK, be existentialist, girl.

Kelsey and the other girls come bounding in, handing Zoya and Grace pink fanny packs with the word ‘SENIOR’ on them. Nice.

Kelsey talks about how good carbs are for a person and how she is done beating herself up about her weight. Yes!

Then the girls go in for a group handshake. Go Los Losers!

Ready

Grace and Zoya are chilling at the party for Daniel, when Hunter approaches Zoya. Why? Why do we have to spend even another minute on this storyline? Just let it die. Please. Hunter is still a jerk, Zoya is still way too good for him. Luckily, it seemed like she was not taking his shit.

Marlon and Megan are making out. I really wished they had kept this couple apart. I haven’t really seen much on Marlon’s part showing that he has grown since his past relationship with Megan.

Jo sees a boy and quickly runs away. Grace follows her to the bathroom. Nice callback to earlier in the episode with the Grace and Jo scene that mirrors this one.

Side-note: Grace’s dress is so pretty and I didn’t realize how short it was until she ran after Jo.

Aw, I think it’s so sweet that Jo doesn’t want Grace to go get Kelsey because Kelsey is having a fun time and she doesn’t want to ruin that for her.

So, Damian (the guy Jo has been texting) just showed up. He lives 4 hours away! While I appreciate the gesture, a heads-up would have been nice for Jo. How does he even know where she is? Like, it’s not her house.

Grace does a great job of calming Jo down and giving her a pep talk. I think their friendship is reaching a better place.

Jo and Damian hit it off after a bit of awkward banter. He seems like a cool dude.

Grace and Daniel go to her room. Daniel asks if she’s sure she wants to have sex. Yay! She nods, and he asks: “So, I don’t have to keep asking?” Why did they put that line in there? It’s not like he’s really been asking her to have sex. It just makes him seem like more of a jerk.

I really enjoyed how they played the rest of the scene. It was much more awkward when Grace and Daniel were about to have sex. It was more realistic IMO.

In between the sex scene, they spliced shots of the party. Pen Joe looks rather jealous of Damian flirting with Jo. Hmm, this is a new development.

OK, Eve seemed to be hardcore flirting with Shay. She also said earlier that Shay was “hot”. Are they making this a thing?

Grace and Tyler have a bit of an awkward conversation before Grace goes off to her friends. Then we see Tyler take a drink out of his cup. His fingernails are painted green! So, people were right when they thought Tyler was Green Nails. Wow, I still don’t know if it was him in the bed with Grace and Clay because I think Grace would have recognized him. That also calls into question whether Tyler was telling the truth about what Clay did or did not do that night. I have so many questions! But this ending does seem to hint that Season 3 will be about both Shay and Tyler. I am not completely opposed to that, but it sure does make me feel so much more grateful that we got Cris’ season in SKAM España. This fandom needs more wlw love.

General Thoughts

Well, here’s the end. Another season of SKAM Austin over. I hope they don’t wait another whole year before releasing a new one. I liked this episode a lot. There wasn’t a whole lot of Daniel being a dick, so that was great! Overall, I think SKAM Austin has had a few stellar scenes this season that really brought the level of this show up. My favorites were Kelsey’s monologue when Grace finally tells her about Daniel, Grace confronting Clay about the possible sexual assault, and the most recent clip they released with Jo explaining how she isn’t ready to forgive Grace for what she did to Kelsey. I am excited for Season 3!

[coldtomyflash]

Doomworld - Len’s Progression

I’ve literally rewatched all of Doomworld to make sense of Len’s characterization and honestly, I don’t think it’s as far off as I originally thought it was, or that it’s irreconcilable with the Len we know. After I calmed down, I could make sense of so much of his behavior by reading between the lines.

So I’m sharing that with you, a sort of quick look into his scenes in the episode. 

Long post, no gifs, but here we go.

Len starts at a heist with Mick. They’re having fun, and Len is reminding Mick not to kill the security/cops, as is typical on any job with Len, canon as of his introduction.

But then the cops show up, apologize to Len, and they give up the pretense. Mick is angry. He’s bored. He reminds Len of this. Len offers several solutions: we can get ourselves locked in Iron Heights and plan to break out, or go break into a bank with a nigh-impenetrable vault. He’s... trying. He seems to want to keep Mick happy? Because Mick is not happy. They own half the city and he seems to hate it. 

I can’t imagine why Len wouldn’t hate it either. There is no challenge, no chase. he reminds Mick that they’re partners. Equals. He says “we own half the city”. He makes it about both of them, together.

But then Eobard calls and Len’s demeanor changes. He talks with disgust about how they’re being summoned. When Mick rebuffs him about that, Len shoots off that they listen to Eobard because Eobard “agreed not to wipe you and your friends from existence.”

That’s important. And Mick looks confused by it, like he didn’t realize. Because maybe he didn’t.

It lends itself to the notion that Len feels under Eobard’s thumb, and it’s in Mick’s defense. That he’s putting up with this frustrating and boring version of reality, trying to appease Mick, because this is the version of reality where he got to keep Mick alive. He had to keep up a specific face and front with the Legion, seeming like he was in it for riches and power and whatever, make himself seem like them, so that he could bide his time to actually get what he wants. 

And he has to defend Mick in the meantime.

Len’s never been good with emotions or explaining himself, but dammit, he’s trying to keep Mick at his side and safe and expected that he’ll understand one day.

He certainly acts like that in the next scene when Mick tells Eobard they’re not his watchdogs and Len corrects to help smooth things over. He’s acting like he does on a job, like at the nuclear arms deal in LoT 1x02? He’s focused on protecting a mission or himself or the job. He’s hiding something. My guess would be hiding his intent to kill Eobard soon, that he’s been planning for a while to off him once he can.

Because he does have a plan. They take Nate outside to kill him and when Mick protests, Len tells him he has a plan. And Mick is pissed not to be in on it, now. Mick has been through Star City 2046 and the rest of it. Has had it out with Leonard in ways Leonard can’t really imagine, right now. Because this Leonard hasn’t. He’s still used to hiding the plans and details from Mick. Still used to calling all those shots.

Which of course, leads to Mick punching him in the face and taking off with Nate. Impulsive. He doesn’t explain what he’s planning to Len either.

But that doesn’t stop Len from protecting him.

When we next see Len, he’s with Malcolm and Damien. It’s unclear if he’s even told Eobard of Mick’s betrayal, but he’s told these two, and Amaya and Sara were sent to get him back -- alive. The scene does make it clear they plan to bring him back alive. Len defends Mick to Malcolm, even, making sure he’s not intending to kill him. And it’s clear that Len is the reason that Mick retained his memories whereas the others didn’t.

One wonders just how much negotiating Len did on Mick’s behalf behind the scenes in 2x15 when he suggested that the way to steal the spear was for them to get him close to Mick, to bring Mick to their side.

It’s also clear in that scene that Len is planning to kill Eobard, and that the other Legion members agree.

Of course, then the Legends team refuses to trust Mick (when have they ever) even though they should (they always should have) and Mick gets fed up and contacts Len to meet him privately.

Len is jealous and double checks the situation. Seriously. “League of Losers cut you loose?” is a petty line. But he looks indelibly pleased that Mick is back with him, and takes him straight to Malcolm and Damien. Len displays trust in Mick and doesn’t hesitate to bring him back in the fold. I mean, sure, he has the guy GPS’d because wow does Len have issues, but he wants Mick at his side.

They share their information with the other two, and Len’s suspicion is that Eobard wants to re-make reality again but to only his own liking, and then to erase the rest of the Legion and destroy the spear. I think he’s wrong since he really seems to just want to cement this reality, but whatever.

Then shit goes down.

Len stops Eobard from destroying the spear, hits him with the cold gun completely chill (he literally says “bored now” like omg). He doesn’t shoot Ray in the stomach when he has the chance though? I wonder if he’s trying to show restraint with “Mick’s friends”. The people he knows Mick cares about. The people he’s jealous of.

But then Mick gets the spear and everything fucking changes.

I’ve read people suggest that in 2x15, everyone acts different once the spear is put together -- that they’re meaner and more sombre, less trusting of one another. That it literally is like the One Ring in LoTR. And maybe that was at play in this scene as well. Mick picks up the spear and suddenly Len becomes a dick.

“Nice work Mick. Now hand it over.”

Mick doesn’t listen immediately. Len watches Amaya counter him, saying that she “believes in” Mick. It makes him angry.

“Enough! Mick - hand it over.” And when Mick doesn’t, that’s when Len finally drops the line: “Like a good boy.”

Why would he fucking say that? Except. Except he’s trying to counterpoint Amaya. And he doesn’t fucking know how. He said in 2x15 that the team treats Mick like their well-trained dog and maybe he’s trying to remind Mick of that or maybe he’s trying to be like that if it’s what Mick responds to or maybe he’s just being a dick because he’s hurt.

He’s hurt that Mick would even consider giving the spear to the Legends. Because if the Legends get the spear, they rewrite reality and in that reality, Len is dead. Mick considering them means Mick considering a reality where Len dies. He’s picking them over him.

And when Mick says “you mean like a dog. That’s all I am to you. An attack dog.” Len immediately denies it. Denies that he sees Mick that way. He makes a jab at Mick’s intelligence with no way of knowing that the team has been doing the exact same thing for months and that it’s such a sore spot, but he uses it to illustrate why they’re partners.

Because Len’s supposed to make the plans. Make the big plays. That’s his role. Mick’s the one going off script. Len knows an old script. Remember, one that hasn’t been through Star City 2046 or Kronos or fist fight death duel confessions. Len’s supposed to make the plan, and he has one (and I personally believe it’s to use the spear to get rid of Eobard and to set him and Mick back to how they’d prefer to be) but Mick isn’t following the script.

And Mick throws the spear to Amaya.

And he says: “I’m no one’s dog, Leonard. Not anymore.”

And honestly... he never thought he was until the Legends made him feel that way. He talks about how he and Len were partners. So this is new. Feeling like this is new. And it’s a tension from Len following their prior script and Mick needing an updated one where he has more information and more decision-making power and it’s a mess.

And Len is pissed and lashes back with cruel words. “Well. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.”

And it’s totally shitty of him to say, no excuse except that he’s hurt as fuck because his best friend literally just chose a reality where he doesn’t exist, chose essentially for him to die instead of trusting him.

Yeah, that’s got to smart. And when Mick tells Amaya to “undo this mess”, well, Len’s continued existence and survival is part of that mess.

So he kills her. To survive.

And he’s jealous, so fucking jealous, and angry. Mick picked them over him. Mick picked her over him.

So he fucking puns when he shatters her to pieces like the cold bastard that he is because he has literally all of his walls up in full force after that betrayal from Mick. But he doesn’t even raise his weapon when Mick does. For I think the first time we’ve seen, Len doesn’t raise his weapon when Mick does. Just looks at him, sad and hurt and guarded a little.

And Mick lowers his gun and everything hurts and nothing is okay.

But... that’s why it’s not a totally fucked characterization after all, I don’t think. He’s cold and shitty but he’s under the thumb of an all-powerful dickwad who is holding Mick’s life and Len’s existence in (literally, when he’s holding the spear) the palm of his hand, and Mick still chose someone else instead of trusting Len. Instead of Len. 

[ts-seychelles]

EP. 3 - “I Want To Work With Someone Who I Don’t Have To Push A Narrative Toward” - ALEX

So to recap what in the fuck just happened. I was able to get Frankie out because no one had the balls to throw a name out, so I was like Fuck it throw the person that hasn't talked to me much under the bus. Turns out it was the right choice because like Alison he was stuck in a palm tree and couldn't vote. Then as my Low key alliance predicted, we would have a swap at 18, way to be original hosts you did this on another season you hosted. However I didn't get swapped fucked as I originally thought, since I thought it was just me and JG however Jared popped up and now our tribe is 3-3. Now Operation Kiss Ass is ago because I have three brand new tribe members to suck up to so we can have a majority vote, or at least I can have a majority if they want to pull cross tribal thing. But on the bright side I wasn't voted out 18th, I wasn't second voted out on my original tribe, and I made a swap so I improved so much already compared to flops yay!

So the first round we voted out a inactive and then I got sent to ghost island. I am really close to Drake and Jared and with this swap we have now solidified and have a split majority where all we might need is just 1 ... I know of Aysa and I know alex pretty well so we shall see what will happen

Getting swap fucked is my kink. It happens in almost every game I play. It’s such a cute look. 

My tribe seems...nice? I know Roxy, Johnny, and Vi from previous games, so I’m hoping we can make something work. I’m terrified being the only one from the old Malabar tribe here, but that just means we’re gonna have to try our hardest to win. I’m just gonna put in my all and hope for the best.

This swap couldn't have gone better. We swapped 5-1 AND I'm in an 4 person alliance with the 5 we had from before the swap. The next couple of rounds should be nice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PF0vMamDY4

Alex is a sneaky one all right, he's trying to get information from me about the tribe dynamics but I'm just going to reflect it back onto him to get more info out of him than he is me. I ain't stupid, I know when it comes down to tribe swaps, espicially in a 3-3 situation the goal is to find that one crack to flip it to your favor. Im loyal to Jared and JG at this very moment so I ain't about to reveal shit to him

oh geez. so tribe swap happened and i think me, augusto, sam, and reagan lucked out. (rip dan because he is by himself) i feel bad for voting out frankie. but we didn’t really have a choice... other than that nicole and vilma seem really nice!

they reuploaded my spam video wig https://youtu.be/mpgD-uqZknI

(A BIT LATER)

https://youtu.be/d1wYk2Hkj48

HOLY SHIT WAIT NICOLE AND JARED ARE DATING WHAT KINDA PLOT TWIST REHASH OF RUBEN/LEXI BULLSHIT IS GOING ON HERE

(A BIT LATER AFTER SCREAMING UNDER WATER)

OKAY APPARENTLY EVERYONE ELSE KNEW BUT ME WHAT ELSE IS NEW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oTbmew7Fa0&feature=youtu.be

Honestly hosts? This challenge that I going to force me out of my comfort zone? Negative. I’m already literally so fucking self conscious and anxiety filled. I’ll probably try to do my best but these are CRUEL. If I die from fucking salmonella poisoning from eating a raw egg imma haunt all your asses for the rest of eternity. Mark my words.

I didn't want to put too much effort into the reward challenge because I don't want to be seen as a threat, and luckily, the immunity challenge is a scavenger hunt that is at the beginning of a work week, otherwise, I'd knock it out of the park immediately. With work, I won't be able to, but I still shared the resources that I have so that they can work on as a group

https://youtu.be/mZ9MVVL_PP4

Okay so I was doing really well until you put me on this shit ass tribe. As people? Lovely. As players? The worst. How am I supposed to do anything with these people? Like literally how am I supposed to do anything. I’m so mad because I actually want to play this game and they are giving literally zero effort, being the absolute worst, all they do is complain and cry....I’m so over it. I haven’t eaten today so maybe just maybe it’s like that I’m hungry but on the other hand, I hate being with losers. Like I was in a tribe of winners who 90% wanted to give their all. Don’t sign up for the damn game if you aren’t willing to eat a raw egg or whatever we are being told to do this round. Why am I going to put in ALL my efforts for these idiots to just vote me out anyway? I’m so annoyed. They’re literally so fucking annoying. And I know the other tribes are actually doing well because they actually want to be here! And when we lose I’m gonna have to kiss more ass with these people because I’m in the minority. It’s just a fucked end of the stick that I got here when everyone else in my old tribe has it so easy. I got stuck with Vilma of all people and then a group of people who won’t ever vote each other out. It’s just like we are never going to win, I ate a fucking egg for these loser asses the best they can do is read some Harry Potter erotica, like get a fucking grip.

Vi doing nothing for this challenge? Expected.

Okay so, I've been on this new tribe for a few days now. I have really been thinking through every strategic situation. There is another layer to my game though, because I have to run through every scenario like I normally would- and then run through them all again, but account for Nicole being present. Not that I don't want to do well if it isn't with her, because that is just not the case. I just have to think about it... everyone else sure will be. Since there is still a long way to go til the merge- this is like a rough outline in different scenarios of getting there. 1- I want to win immunities. Pretty simple. They create a sense of cameraderie, and even though we are in essence 3-3, the longer we are socializing without discourse, the easier it will be for me to maneuver through this in the event that we must attend tribal. --- It's tough to try to account for Nicole's game and my tribe wins affecting how things go for her. I love her but I can't try to speculate what decisions would be the best for both of us mutually, because I could end up destroying us both. She's a smart cookie. She don't need me to get through. 2A- We win 1st place immunity. New Lazare loses. --- Here I don't know if I should make an effort to get Nicole sent to Ghost Island. I'm hoping my conversations with Augusto, her relationship with Regan from prior to this, and her social game outweigh any counter-offence that Vilma could mount. I think a good compromise would be to send Ashen or Sam, someone who is not an enemy of myself. 2B- We win 1st place immunity. Takamaka loses. --- I don't see a situation in where this tribe unanimously agrees to send Dan to Ghost Island. I would not really push the envelope in this spot, but rather see what everyone has to say and give input based off of that. Only person I would be hesitant to send is Johnny. 3A- We lose immunity. JG/Drake is sent to Ghost Island. --- Tough spot. I don't necessarily think that I would be in trouble, but the question is- Do I quietly send off my alliance mate? Do I hard sell Alex under the bus to Ricky and Asya? I think the latter has a higher ceiling outcome, and the lowest floor outcome. (Me getting evicted.) It would all be based on how far I get in conversations with Ricky/Asya without revealing my intentions. There is another option, and that is trying to get Alex to vote off Ricky or Asya. Close to 0% chance of pulling that off, and I don't think I would like the lay of the land coming back from that tribal. 3B- We lose immunity. Alex is sent to Ghost Island. --- Whatever Drake and JG want to do. Not a big discrepancy between Ricky and Asya here for me. I do like Asya a bit more. 3C- We lose immunity. Ricky/Asya is sent to Ghost Island. --- Do I persuade my counterparts to get Alex out in this spot? I do, I do! Why? Because Alex is nowhere on that venn diagram of people that will protect Nicole and myself at the merge. ---------- I had a call with Alex last night and got a lot of information from it. Lots and lots of ammunition that I will hold onto until the time is right. I think he likes me, or at least wants me to think that.

https://youtu.be/xlskto5cgVM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlpWEnCbpD0

(A BIT LATER)

These fucking animals will be the death of me. First Zumba with Tortoises & now  I'm covered in bat shit and carrying rabies. WTF who knew idol hunting would be so damn hard!!!

Had a call with Ruben last night, where he said he trusts Zach and I the most, and that Roxy has gotten kind of boring to him. I slipped it in there that Roxy is a pretty dangerous player (which she is), and those seeds just give me even more confidence that I can get her out sooner rather than later. Even thinking about making a power move to just have Zach, Ruben and I vote for Roxy, and then Roxy and Vi would vote for Dan, while Dan would likely vote for Vi, so idk...... When I was talking to Ruben, he clarified I'm his #1 and I'm going to start treating him like he's my number one. I don't wanna tell him about my idol yet obviously, but I think I can trust Ruben a lot. I know I've got that same kind of relationship going with Zach AND Crooks, so I'm spreading myself thin, but not trying too hard socially. Still can't find that Takamaka idol. I only got to search once, but I doubt I'm getting as lucky as I did on Lazare. I'm shook we won immunity when Vi didn't do anything.... it's kind of why I would feel bad voting out Roxy or Dan before Vi goes home..... she just doesn't continue to stay here. Ruben and I said we're going to see who goes home from the tribe that's going to tribal this round, and after we strong armed sending JG to Ghost Island, it gives Alex, Ricky and Asya numbers..... IF they stick together. I can see them not sticking together because I know those are the two people that Alex has spoken to roughly the least? So I could see Alex trying to work with Jared and Drake. I won't really be sad either way, but if someone from OG Lazare goes home, then Dan's fate might be sealed, which is kind of what Crooks wants anyways, so I guess good for him. I've never felt in such a secure spot in a tribe before, just because I feel our tribe is so strong, and we're just thinking about winning, and there are two easy outs, with a lowkey third person coming up on the horizons (Roxy). We'll see if I can get what I want this early in the game :P I will try to make this tribe interesting somehow. I promise!

You want the tea huh? We fuckin won binnnnnch. I’m shook honestly haha. Vi was as useful as soup on a hot summer day and we still literally got first place. So I’m liking that my tribe seems motivated to do our best in things, I was so worried I would be boned by the swap, but I seem to be acclimating well. The one thing that scares me is that Jared is vulnerable this week. I was hoping to push for him to go to Ghost Island but my gay ass was asleep of course. JG going is whatever, it’s just gonna give a fucking floater more power. It also puts the old Lizard (or whatever their name is) tribe at a 3-2 advantage over my cute old Malabar’s but whatever my ass is safe and that’s the only ass I care about.

Ugh I hate being in a 5 person tribal, my 3rd tribal in a row, and one where the tribal lines leave me in the minority. I'm trying to vote out someone I just am very cautious when throwing out a name since I am in the minority and Ricky, Alex, and Asya could easily team up and vote me out. I may just go and try throwing out Asya because she's the one I talked least to.  It's ugh im going to have a panic attack rip

Its really hard protecting vi tbh but shes loyal only to me so shes good for me

I did say every one on my tribe was great right? Totally carried me through this as I died physically and mentally. Maybe I can finally get some sleep and then tackle tonight’s thingy ;-;

https://youtu.be/rxYjBRg9u1g

I thought I liked Jared but he’s a little bit of a weasel. Jared’s like Kraft Mac and Cheese. It’s not your favorite food, it’s pretty mediocre. But it’s still good? Like if nothing else we’re there it’d be great. But I’ve got like a sundae with Asya and a Rueben Sandwich with Ricky. He’s smart. But I don’t like that he is. I wanna work with someone who I don’t have to push a narrative towards. However I feel great about Asya and Ricky. But we lost and if I get voted out the day after my three year anniversary I’ll cry.

I'm liking my new tribe so far. Nicole did most of the work last challenge and I am so grateful for that. Vilma is also sweet and funny, love her. Yesterday stressed me the fuck out though. I can handle the workload. Pippa is hosting this game, is in like 5 theatre shows, and school. So, I think i can do this. (PIPPA REALLY APPRECIATED THIS) MY INTERNET is what is fucking me up though. I could have done so many more of the video dares if my internet would just do what it supposed to do. It's so stressful. GOD. I just hope this shit doesn't ruin the game for me.

Smooth sailing as far as last tribal goes, which is surprising since I expected Frankie to come online and for it to be a bloody mess but guess not! Speaking of a bloody mess, I’m avoiding one! With a tribe swap happening, I get to avoid picking any sides as Malabar was about to turn into a Ashen/Drake vs Dan/Regan/Jared with Samantha and I in the middle -type of sticky situation really quick SO now I get to save face. Tbh, I am not really sure what side I would’ve chosen if it was a battle of the Malabar titans since a lot would’ve had to factor into the vote. With this new swap, I want to continue to build connections but do so at a slower pace (unless I end up swap fucked and then I’m kicking my charm into high gear) so I can once again have options. We’ll see what happens!

(A BIT LATER)

The results are in…. And I’m lucky for once? The swap actually worked out almost perfectly and the only instance where that has happened is Flops when I got to choose my new tribe. On New Lazare, Malabar has the numbers with 4 original members (Ashen, myself, Regan, Samantha) and we have Nicole and Vilma from original Lazare. Here, I have the option of sticking to my alliance with Ashen and Samantha, trying to stick it out with Regan as a newfound duo, or try to get super close to Nicole and/or Vilma somehow for options. Fluidity and adaptability is what the game is all about, so I’ll try to make that my mantra per se during this new phase of the game. As far as my other OG tribemates go, they are in shitty positions and I feel awful. My partner in crime Jared is in a 3-3 situation alongside Drake and JG and then Dan is by himself on the newly formed Takamaka. I relate so much to Dan in this moment just because I was all by myself during Socotra and had to face those giants all on my own, so I hope they at least give him an opportunity cause he does not deserve that. This swap is gonna be interesting for sure, though. I’m excited!

(EVEN LATER)

Can I just say I love Nicole? Okay so, her and I had a really good heart to heart both personally and strategically which makes me really excited. Before I swapped onto Lazare, Jared and I had a conversation about him and her and what their relationship entails as far as the game goes. He told me that he would never want to vote her out, which I totally understand and would never expect him to do because that’s a REAL relationship. I’m selfish but not selfish enough to ask him to pick between her or myself and I reiterated that to him. Anyway, I ended up telling Nicole that Jared and I were the best of buddies on OG Malabar to connect better with her as a person and as a gameplayer. I also told her about my conversation with Jared and how he really cares for her, etc. By doing that, Nicole and I really got to bond and had a conversation about this whole Malabar versus Lazare mentality that is likely to plague the swap as it did the first two rounds of the game. She also let me know that Alex was very much assertive in the fact that he wanted to decimate Malabar completely and how people such as Ricky and Asya were not very about it, etc. We also brought up the possibility of us working together in the future, which I am super about because it allows me to be close to someone from Lazare and gives me the bridge I need to those players, plus it helps me get even closer to Jared. Also in a sense, their relationship can be a shield for me in the future as a couple would be more likely to be targeted than a third wheel. Overall, I am feeling really good!

So......we won immunity 😬 I was really thinking my tribe was gonna be lazy because they wasted a full 36 hours. At the last moment they came through and fucked over my boyfriend, a sentiment I’m sad about but...also we won immunity. I’m kind of worried for him but Ricky seemed genuinely on board with me and I don’t think he’d want to make an enemy of me. He knows I can be a villain if he calls for one.

So the challenge is not really over, but I do think we’re doing okay? I am just thinking about a future tribal scenario and I think my game plan for this stage of the swap is to maybe get rid of Vilma and then Ashen so I can stay working with Regan, Nicole, and Samantha. Vilma is a good asset in challenges and overall an amazing person, but I do think it’d be smart to get rid of at least one Lazare person. As far as Ashen goes, I do find her to be a threat only because she seems somewhat social and she is the one that started the alliance between myself, Drake, her, and Samantha. The only thing is that she had no real agency/pull when she tried to get rid of Regan instead of Frankie so who knows. At least I could potentially use the fact that Ashen wanted to axe Regan against her in the future, but we’ll see… maybe I’m moving too fast haha. Let’s just get this bread first and I’ll act crazy later.

wish i didnt have to go to tribal xoxo

I knew this iconic color would produce iconic results… I’m…. WE WON?! This is my first challenge win this season and it’s been long overdue, so I’m super happy about that! Not only that, but this tribe is seriously awesome. I love the girl power, the legendary status of these people, and overall our vibe because we came together pretty well. I am nervous for Drake and Jared just because I KNEW that JG would be sent to Ghost Island since he is not social or very much active, so I will likely lose an alliance member this round and I’m sad about it. If I had to guess, I’d say Drake is the boot since Jared is more social and the Lazare on that tribe probably don’t want to piss off Nicole this early on. If Jared does leave, I’ll be really sad because our duo never got its time to shine, but let’s hope the show can continue whatever the circumstance.

Okay so I like Nicole I like Augusto Vilma kinda hasn't talked to me. I forget who else exists tbh. Sam barely does. Ashen barely does. Me augusto and Nicole pulling the weight on this tribe fr

AGAIN SORRY FOR THE LACK OF CONFESSIONALS, it takes a while to write them and I'm constantly staying up till 5am or even later for this game, so I'm pretty much exhausted during the day. It's tough honestly! Thankfully I haven't had to go to tribal so far in this game so there's not that much tea to spill. Here's my game so far, summarized: I had already forgotten how much my social game sucks. I hate the start of orgs, it's super overwhelming trying to socialize and get to know so many knew people. I get social anxiety every time I see a message pop up on my screen and pretend it didn't ever happen lmao. Thankfully I got put on Lazare which turned out to be a really active tribe and everyone was really nice to me despite the fact that they all seemed to pretty much know each other and I was kind of the odd one out. I think there's a good chance I would have gotten voted out if I ever went to tribal with them, but thankfully we were BEASTS at challenges so we didn't have to vote anyone out. The 99 bottles challenge was a nice bonding moment between Johnny, Zach and I despite me being super awkward as always. And I FINALLY got to compete on the music video challenge for the first time which was an absolute highlight. <<33333 I can pretty much go home happy now, I got what I wanted LMAO. Don't worry I'm not quitting though. Just as the tribe swap was happening Roxy told me that her idol clue said the idol's not in the volcano. I appreciated the info! All in all, I didn't talk much game with anyone on Lazare, which made me think I was on the outs but on the other hand we never went to tribal so there wasn't really any real reason to talk about strategy. Besides, I was horrendous at answering messages so it's partially my own fault. Then I got swapfucked. Haha okay that might be a slight exaggeration, but clearly numbers weren't on my side at the swap as I went from a 10 to 8 advantage to a 4 to 2 disadvantage. The only person from og Lazare that swapped with me was Nicole. We made a promise to have each others backs and she convinced me that she had a good relationship with some of our new tribe mates, so there's chance she could convince them to flip. I hope that's true, but it could very well be the end for me if end up to tribal. It's pretty difficult trying to understand all the game dynamics since so many players already know each other! I'm just trying to observe as many conversations as possible to figure out who's close with who, and who's against who. Even though my new tribe lost the reward challenge by a pretty big margin, we were able to come together in the last minute at immunity and placed 2nd, so we didn't have to go to tribal. WOOOOOOO I live to see yet another day in this game!!!! Awesome. I really don't think I have any chance to win this, so my plan at this point is just to hang in there as long as possible. So far I've done pretty good at that if I say so myself. I'm gonna try and continue to be a challenge beast for now, just so that my tribe would think they need me if we end up having to go to tribal. Summary: Loving the challenges, failing hard at the social game, but most importantly HAVING GREAT FUN THANKS

Omg I feel so bad for not contributing much to the comp but like also I’m super busy so I guess it’s fine?? We won by 15 points and I only sent in 12 points hahaha at least I did something! I really like Nicole and Vilma, and I’m happy that my old tribe has majority here, so I don’t want to lose because I don’t know how that vote would go! Oh well :(

[punishandenslavesuckers]

Caleb and Adam go to a party. It’s a nice party. The food is good. The people are chill. Then Caleb eats like three fucking pot brownies by accident. Getting snacks for your giant, high, empathic boyfriend is not the worst way to spend a night. (ao3)

Adam can honestly – for real – admit that Caleb’s teammates are not actually all humongous frat-boy assholes in muscle shirts. In fact, only one of them is wearing a muscle shirt and the one in the muscle shirt is also in Adam’s AP Calc class and, apparently, his ability to crush a beer can against his forehead hasn’t stopped him from getting a 4.0. Several of them have 4.0’s. Adam… knew that on an intellectual level of course. Something about all of them standing together in jerseys made them kind of vanish individually for some reason.

“Cheerleader effect,” says Katie McLain, who has a cider in her hand and winged liner out to her temples. “When a bunch of people stand in a group you stop perceiving the details of each person and view them holistically. This tends to make everyone more attractive. It’s why they all move in packs.”

Bobbie Kensey, the second-string quarterback and her best friend, looks up from the blunt he’s trying to light, offended.

“Hey! That’s not true.” He tries to push Katie away with his palm over her face. She bites at him. “See? She’s rabid. Don’t buy into her fuckin’ slander. We are all individually gorgeous.” He raises his voice. “EXCEPT FOR HENDERSON WHO IS UGLY AS FUCK! GAWD! SOMEONE JUST PUT HIM DOWN ALREADY!”

Faintly from the other-side of the house: “FUCK YOU, KENSEY!”

Adam, who has been nursing a plain Cola-Cola for the last ten minutes, says, “Are the migratory habits of football players really that interesting to you, Katie?”

Katie snorts. “Hell, no. I’m gay as fuck. It’s the cheerleaders I’m monitoring.”

Bobbie and Katie high-five, except Katie is drunk so her palm smacks Bobbie right in the face. “Katie! You useless lesbian!”

“HAAAAAA!”

Bobbie shoves Katie down a nearby hall and moves as if to follow her, then hesitates. “Hey, man, you’re here with Caleb right?”

“Uh, yeah.” Adam takes a drink of his soda to mask the immediate nerves that rise at the question. “I am here... with Caleb.”

“Cool, cool. He didn’t ditch you did he?” Bobbie’s eyes narrow in suspicion. “Because, sometimes, he like just jets outta these parties like a weirdo and doesn’t tell anyone he did it, so people think he’s lying in someone’s lawn somewhere. Or, people would think that, if Michaels actually drank. Which he doesn’t. Because he’s lame.” Bobbie lets that stand for a moment, looking hyperbolically annoyed, but not really. “Anyway, don’t let him ditch you like a loser.”

“Uh, he just went to get some food really quick.” Adam looks around. “Really quick… in this case meaning like half an hour ago.”

 “Food’s down stairs in the den. He probably got roped into a Cards Against Humanity or something. He fuckin’ kills at that game.” Bobbie points a finger. “Don’t… let him ditch you.”

Adam snorts. “He’s not ditching me.”

“I know, like, he really likes you, dude. But he’s kinda dumb in groups. Don’t let him ditch you.”

Adam… isn’t sure why that makes him smile, but it does. “I think Katie found the cheerleaders.” He jerks his head as delighted screaming originates from down the hall. “Should you stop her?”

“Ah, fuck.”

Adam navigates the house, sipping his watery soda to deflect any misguided notions that he might want someone to talk to him. He doesn’t recognize at least half the party-goers, so they’re probably from other schools in the area. He’s already feeling pretty tapped out from meeting the team in a giant group earlier and suspects there were instructions to ‘be cool, guys, seriously, be cool’ because some of them seem to be going especially far out of their way to chat him up.

Imagining Caleb nervously negotiating with a bunch of football players to be nice… Adam logs that mental imagine away to tease him about later.

If he can find him.

After about five minutes of unsuccessfully hunting, Adam begins to worry Bobbie was right. Not about the ditching, but about the jetting away from groups thing. What appears to be random sprinting away from parties to the casual observer was likely just Caleb getting overwhelmed by the collective drunk emotions of other teenagers and peacing out. Seems weird that he wouldn’t text if that were the case. Adam triple checks his phone a few times. Scans the dark slightly smoky confines of the basement. The pool table’s been converted into a buffet line of chips, dip, mini hotdogs and desserts.

There are dark piles of people in the corners of the room, chatting and/or making out. Adam recognizes most of the defensive line-men yelling happily at each other over on the couches near the fall wall. Adam hesitates… then carefully wanders over to inspect the activities and scan for Caleb. He tries to be stealthy. Unfortunately, team captain David Yen spots him over his hand of poker cards and, of course, shouts at him.

“Hey Adam! Wanna play?”

“Uh, maybe next round. Anyone seen Caleb? I think he got lost on his way to pizza rolls or whatever.”

The groups immediately busts up laughing. Yen points at the loveseat by the TV. A very tall person in a letterman’s jacket is flopped there with their arms over their face. Said tall person is wearing the same jeans and sneakers that Caleb was last seen wearing. They are built like Caleb – improbable shoulder to waist ratio and weirdly attractive forearms. But this tall person cannot possibly be his improbable boyfriend because the tall person on the love seat looks… drunk, maybe? Or like they fell asleep in a crowd of raucous teenagers. Both impossible things.

“I think it’s kicking in,” Yen laughs.

Adam immediately goes on alert. “What… is?”

“I saw him eat like… three pot brownies earlier.”

Adam’s eyes get very large. “Say what now?”

“Pot brownies. Like… some pretty strong ones. I know he doesn’t, you know, do that. So I told him to sit down.”

Adam physically climbs over the first-string defensive tackle and the second-string running back to get to the loveseat, disturbing a bowl of Cheetos on his way across the room. He leans over and gently puts a hand on Caleb’s arm, shaking him.

“Heeey, buddy. What’s up?”

Caleb groans and rolls over. It’s very slow, lethargic kind of moving, lots of stretching and unnecessary arching. Caleb drops his arms to squint up at the face hovering over him. Then he grins. Fuck. That smile is white sunshine. Adam’s brain – easily distractible in this area – stops for a moment to admire the geometry of his boyfriend’s face. It’s like… something. A Renaissance painting. The Golden Ratio is somewhere in the way his eyes crinkle at the corners and his mouth kinks up into left-side dimple. There is divine intervention in the warm brown of his skin and the clean line of his jaw.

He’s ridiculously fucking hot. Okay?

Adam shakes himself out it.

“Caleb. You okay?”

“M’green,” he says cheerfully, running a hand over his face.

“Yeeeah. I’ll bet you are. Are you… sure you’re okay?”

Caleb laughs, a warm, sleepy sound and reaches for Adam, catching his arm. “C’mere. Hey, I need to talk to you.”

Adam heroically resists being pulled onto the couch by his giant running back boyfriend. “No. You need to stand up and probably go home.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re reeeeeeally high.”

“Maybe.”

“Not maybe. Definitely. One-hundred percent.”

“So what?”

Adam lowers his voice. “So… we might want to get away from the big crowd of drunk people?”

Caleb blinks, confused, then remembers apparently that he’s fucking empath.

“Ooooh, okay. Right.” He nods. “Smart.”

“Yeah.”

 “You’re worried?” Caleb frowns, brow knitting. “Why’re you worried?”

Adam laughs. The act itself banishes some of the niggling anxiety and Caleb’s grin comes back, relieved and sympathetically cheery. Adam has a sneaking suspicion that his good mood might be contact-high (so to speak) from being around his teammates who seem to all be in relatively high spirits presently. Adam resolves to be calm and logical. It would be incredibly lame of him to fail at being an empathic true north by getting all panicky, thereby making his empath boyfriend freak out while high as balls.

“I’m not worried. You’re just a dork who can’t tell pot brownies from normal brownies.”

Caleb pouts. “They had sprinkles.”

“Oh? The sprinkles fooled you?”

“Pot brownies don’t have sprinkles.”

Yen, from the other couch, pipes up. “Yes, they do, Michaels, you fuckin’ geek.”

Adam nods. “See. Team captain says so. You were duped by sprinkles. That’s adorable.”

“Noo,” Caleb grumps.

“Jesus, you’re really high. C’mon.” Adam takes Caleb’s elbow and tugs, eventually pulling his arm over his shoulders so he gets the idea. “Let’s go. Up. We’re going for a walk. Let’s walk it off, champ. Hey! No! No – well, fuck me, I guess.”

Caleb’s on his feet, but he’s turned Adam’s helpful arm-drape into a hug. Yen and the defensive line are dying laughing, which only makes Caleb increasingly giddy. Adam tries to pry his way out of the bear hug, but gives up and tolerates the warm, nice-smelling, rib-crush of Caleb’s embrace. Mostly because he literally cannot get away, but partially because there’s a kind of rabbiting excitement jacking through his nerves because Caleb is hugging him in public and nothing bad is happening. He eye-balls the rest of the team. The team cornerback is giving Adam an enthusiastic if somewhat asshole-ish thumbs up.

“So… none of you are gonna help.”

Rogers and Masuri shake their heads. Yen is too busy taking a selfie.

“Thanks guys. You’re the best.”

Adam kind of grabs Caleb’s elbow, his arms still firmly around his shoulders, and marches through the chortling linebackers, dragging Caleb with him. Caleb’s weight falls partially against him but not quite enough to drag him down as dead weight. He hums happily and presses his face against Adam’s neck which is, you know, completely earth-shatteringly unfair. He was wrong. There is no god. Adam focuses on putting one foot in front of the other, relying on the smoke and commotion to hide how red he’s getting – and not just because Caleb is goddamn heavy.

“Hey,” Caleb says. His cheek brushes Adam’s jaw. “Hey, Adam?”

“Yup?”

“I’m hungry. Can we go to Taco Bell?”

“Jesus. Yes, Caleb, we can go to Taco Bell, you fuckin’ pot-head.”

“Yesss. You’re the best.”

Caleb kisses him on the cheek.

Adam’s whole goddamn face is now, surely, lit internally. No one cares. Literally no one is looking at them. He knows this. He can tell everyone is far too busy doing whatever they’re already doing, to notice Adam Hayes and Caleb Michaels struggle to get up the fucking stairs because Caleb won’t stop nuzzling him. It’s fine. Happy thoughts.

Adam succeeds, just barely, in lead-dragging Caleb out the front door and into the driveway, where the cool air and distance do the work he was hoping for. It takes about five blocks of walking out from suburbia toward the distinct glow of fast-food establishments, but eventually Caleb stop bear-hugging him and kind of squints around like, he hadn’t noticed the sudden change of scenery. When they reach the sprawl of streetlights and late-night restaurants, he grimaces and scrubs his face with both palms.

“Oh god,” he says into his palms.

Adam pats him on the shoulder. “Breathe.”

“Oh my god.” He drags his hands down his face.

Adam grins. “It’s fine.”

“That was so embarrassing. Oh god. What the fuck?”

“Seriously, it’s fine. No worries.”

“I’m sorry. I ruined it. You were supposed to have fun at the party.”

“Trust me, I’m wholly entertained.”

Caleb frets at the crosswalk in front of Taco Bell. “This is so weird. I’ve never… I didn’t know…”

“Know what?”

“It’s like… I can feel your emotions but its… blurry and far away? Kinda.”

“In a bad way?”

“No. Just… not as strong somehow? Everyone’s emotions felt… distant? Like There were their emotions and mine and they didn’t… mix as much.”

“So… pot mellowed out your powers?”

“Maybe? I dunno. Kinda?”

“Okay. Good to know. Live and learn.”

Caleb’s whole face scrunches up. “Fuck. I kissed you… in front of people…”

“Let’s get you a Crunch-Wrap.”

“Oh man, that sounds so good. Shit, I’m sorry.”

“I really didn’t mind and no one cared, dude.”

“But that wasn’t cool. I didn’t ask or anything. Geez…”

Adam sighs and taps Caleb on the shoulder. When he turns, Adam boosts up slightly to press a quick kiss to his jaw.

“You’re fine.” He drops back down and slaps the back of his hand against Caleb’s chest. “Feel that? Even fuzzy and distant, you gotta feel that right?” He grins at Caleb’s slow, hopeful smile. “See? You’re good. Now, let’s get tacos.”

  fin

[realblackhelix]

Regarding Season 5 Legends of Tomorrow

Spoilers mostly because of two paragraphs of quotes hinting at Season 5 but it's not really spoilery.

So everyone seems a little worried about the season finale spoilers which are hinting about what season 5 may be about and while I am a little something has been niggling at me, a lot of somethings.

If you are here only for Avalance. Check #4 it's a theory that I haven't been able to shake since I read the Season 5 spoilers.

Here for potential episode count of Season 5 of Legends of Tomorrow and/or the potential reasoning behind it's midseason, next year move? Try #3

Or here for a potential theory regarding Season 5 entirely. This also includes Avalance and has a little more backbone then #4. Check out #5

Here for Crisis on Infinite Earths? Check the last part.

So I made a list and dug back through almost every episode of Legends from season 3-4 to try to calm my fears and honestly I think there are some huge clues buried deep in there.

1. People are worried that next Season will be Legends of Tomorrow's last and I honest to god think Legends of Tomorrow will end with a Season 6 and not 5. Why do I think this? Mostly because the CW renewed it for season 5 didn't mention it was ending and renewed Arrow for season 8 and mentioned that it would be it's final season. Plus I doubt they'd end two of the Arrowverse shows one after the other. I know it hasn't been running as long as Arrow and Legends isn't the flagship show but I do believe they would've let people know if that would be it. Though that said I do believe Legends will have a Season 6 and that will be it's last, do I want it to be? No.

Should it be? That's to be determined.

There are hundreds of stories a show like Legends could tell but honestly ask yourself is it worth the risk of Legends losing what makes it Legends, let it and those in it go down as Legends I say.

2. And what happens when the Legends awaken the original guardians of Time (no, not the Time Masters, sillies, that was season one!) who wish to erase everything the Legends have “screwed up for the better” over the past four seasons?

I needed to especially hit this nail on the head, considering I began writing a fic back at the beginning of 3B about original guardians of time, I literally even called them Time Guardians and tied the original 2 of them to Adam and Eve and there was this whole plot surrounding what if and honestly Im scrapping it now, I was probably never going to finish it but I was almost half way through so thats something.

Now to get on with the actual point of this quote, I dont know if anybody has noticed but this entire season offset with the actors and actressess and onset as their characters, especially the closer it gets to the finale has been extremely focused on the wrongs season 1 did, how bad it was, how much the actors didn't like it (example - Dominic Purcell's quote, Phil Klemmers comments about it and on and on with the other actors), the quote above even mentions the fact that these guardians will try to correct the past 4 seasons and then there's Sara's and Mick's mention to it in "Nip/Stuck", the offshoot moment that had everyone going awwww when Mick mentioned they were the last of the originals and Sara mentioned they were different back then and that they are growing up but hopefully not apart (a huge hint I believe that this show is ready to tie the knot, just not season 5 ready because they'll need to be adults for that ending and they aren't quite there yet) season 4 was about coming to terms with that fact and season 5 will be about them acting on it, season 6 will be the realisation that every Legend has an ending. This is where season 5 'them acting on being adults' comes into it, I believe Legends is going to try to write season 1's wrong in a way they haven't done yet, do I mean they'll literally go back and rewrite season 1? No, i swear to god they better not that would be another level of unbelievable yet to be achieved but that doesn't mean certain aspects of season 1 won't have a huge impact, season 1 brought them together as in Sara's words "the original losers, not important to history" and now look at them. Season 1 of Legends will play a pivotal plot point to Season 5, a realisation of soughts. It's time for the Legends to grow up, realise that every action truly has consequences and that nothing lasts forever, something they couldn't fathom when Rip tried to keep them from fixing their mess in 3x01 forcing them to get normal lives and not be time travelling superheroes. Though they'll surely have their fun discovering this.

3. Midseason Return and episode count

Okay, I am not worried at all about this. Is it shitty? Yeah definitely. We won't be getting episodes until at least at minimum January next year but let's be honest with Batwoman hitting our screens, this was going to happen.

Legends of Tomorrow is the CW's most outrageous, crazy, no ordinary run of the mill show they have. It's no longer able to fit with the nitty gritty of the Arrowverse, it's in a league of its own.

These things are what make Legends of Tomorrow, Legends of Tomorrow. It wouldn't be the same if it resembled the street show Arrow is or the teen superhero show the Flash is or the normal, kind of? that Supergirl is or whatever type of darl thing Batwoman will be. Just like Black Lightning (which if you aren't watching, why?) Legends is something of its own. Unique.

Moving Legends away may very well be them realising this.

As for episode count, I don't expect anything above 16 episodes but I certainly don't expect anything below 13. This whole 10 episode rumour going around, I find it hard to believe, Arrow got 10 mostly because it's the last season and Stephen Amell requested a shorter series to end on.

4. Avalance - let's be honest most of you reading this are only here for the Avalance. Probably.

What do I think of Avalance leading into season 5? I think we got our answer perhaps in the form of Clexacon, 4B and the spoiler. Everyone is so concerned with the fact that they may break up that they haven't considered something entirely different.

In attempting to change her future, Zari Tomaz (Tala Ashe) will accidentally change not just the past she shared with Nate Heywood (Nick Zano), but fundamentally change who the Legends are in season five.

From this one paragraph everybody assumes they are going to be broken up in this new reality. If that turns out to be the case I am all here for a finding their way back to each other season. Remember, Sara and Ava are who each other want. They'll find their way back to one another.

Though this isn't what I get from this, remember Clexacon. Remember baby Beebo's? Remember Ava wanting a life with Sara and Sara not entirely sure she could give that to Ava with her past, remember everything with Sara's father, remember Ava wanting to talk about kids and so on and so on. Now I'm not saying Quentin will make an appearance but I am suggesting that what if this new reality is everything they ever wanted, what if it's paradise, Ava has a kid with Sara, Sara has her father and she's in a good place with Ava but nothing feels right. What if it changes their lives all for the better and season 5 is them coming to terms with the fact that they can't have something that isn't really real. Imagine Ava having to let go of a child, Sara having to say goodbye to a living family, Nate saying goodbye to his Dad again, Mick having to let go off being some famous writer and so on and so on for every other character. It's not their reality whether it's perfect or not at the end of the day they are heroes and now they need to prove it.

Will Avalance have a rough patch? No doubt.

Will they be broken up at the start of next season? Who knows, I don't, not really.

Will they find their place together? Definitely, I'd bet my life Legends Season 5 ends with Avalance. Though Season 6 may start with only one of them.

5. What if the opposite of the above happens?

What if it's the fact that Zari erases herself from history or never meets the Legends and detrimentally changes the future, I mean that was a theme through all of season 3 and looking back at the fantastic episode "Here We Go Again" Gideon and Zari figure out that without her they can't stop Mallus, what else would've happened without Zari.

If Zari never met the Legends what would the impact be?

First we need to take a look at Zari and what brought her too the Legends, namely her brother and the desire to save him, he gave her the totem, so let's think this through, if Zari some how manages to save her brother (I'm gonna say she saves him with her dragon, that dragon will come into play somehow, leaving it at Zari's was in no way a random thing), she never gets the totem, she never joins the Legends and the Legends no longer have six totems.

What then? What about Mallus? What about Nora?

What about Avalance, Zari (with the help of the cheeky bot, Sara's words not mine,) were catalysts for them, is it possible that without her push to Sara, Ava moved on with that ex in Vegas or someone else. It would give Legends and opportunity for some hilarious Sara jealousy and pining something we haven't really ever seen. Could you imagine? They would be friends with or without Zari but would they be together? Sara is a little stupid when it comes to admitting feelings and Ava is a little dense when it comes to anything Sara related, it would make for a joy to watch as Sara and Ava fall in love all over again but never truly get together until everything is fixed with time and they realise the lynch pin to their relationship starting was Zari.

What about Charlie? Or Constantine? Zari had a huge impact on both characters, "Legends of To-Meow-Meow" is all the proof you need.

Would Constantine even be a part of the team?

Would Charlie?

Would Mick be a writer, Zari gave him the push he needed, to be out as a writer and to be a writer. Without Zari, Here We Go Again never happened.

Zari impacted every one of Legends, willing or not. Mostly not.

What about those donuts? Would the Waverider be overrun by donuts? Poor Gideon.

Crisis on Infinite Earths

Alright this is because this makes me more nervous than Season 5 of Legends spoilers does. Probably because we haven't heard anything really and only have the comics to truly back the crazy theories surrounding it.

Lets give it a look. Canon flow of the story between all shows hasn't been the CW's greatest forte, their plot holes only seem to get bigger and bigger with every second or third episode that hits the screen as they try to tie all these shows together.

That said, one thing that has yet to become a plot hole, at least not that I've seen. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

The Legends were picked because they wouldn't impact history in any great way. Sara dying or any Legends dying to save the multiverse would throw a wrench into this and blow the biggest plot hole in Legends that would be pretty hard to turn around from. I'm not saying that they might not try because it is the CW but let's be honest going into Clexacon, Jes and Caity knew how Legends was going to end, Caity will be back for the next season which would be awkward if she died in the crossover (Though she does have a habit of coming back from death), so relax chill and wait to see that most likely this Crossover will show what happens with Oliver Queen the Arrow, one final Arrowverse send of for the one who started it. Love or loathe Arrow, personally for me it went downhill around season 5 but I hold a soft spot for it, love or loathe you probably wouldn't have everything else without it. So give it a round of applause when it finishes, Stephen Amell and the rest of them deserve it.

That said it is Crisis on Infinite Earths, who's to say that the new season of Legends will take place on the Earth we are familiar with, after all they're time travellers, who needs Earth, time will do just fine. Just have to wait and see.

If only we had a time machine right?

[junker-town]

Ranking the 25 possible 2017 World Series matchups

Last year, the Cubs and Indians were an easy favorite. Which teams will take the top slot this year?

Two-thirds of the teams in Major League Baseball were sent home to think about what they did wrong. The other 10 teams have a chance to win the danged World Series. Our job today is to rank which matchups are likely to be the most exciting.

We did this last year, and the choice was obvious: Everyone wanted to watch the Cubs and Indians have a sad-off, and it was miraculous that it actually happened. It’s never the best possible combination that makes it to the World Series. It’s always the Cardinals and Red Sox, even if it’s not the Cardinals and Red Sox. Somehow the Cubs and Indians made it through the gauntlet and gifted us with the best World Series matchup possible.

A rematch is possible, but is it desirable? For that, we’ll need to return to our proprietary ranking system, which focuses on the following categories:

Legacy of sadness

Last year, the Cubs became Ronald Miller from Can’t Buy Me Love, and they’re kind of insufferable now. The Indians are Ronald’s old friend, and you wouldn’t believe what they did to his house last year.

Both teams are back, but only one of them can claim the same legacy of sadness. Somehow, we’ve made it to a postseason in which not only are the Cubs not the saddest team of the group, but they aren’t even the second saddest team of the group. Amazing.

I like watching teams that haven’t won it before. You might have different tastes, but, well, I’m the one writing this article. That means the teams that haven’t won it before get bonus points.

Star power

Roughly translated, these are the players we want to watch. A team with nine Jose Altuves would get an 11 out of 10. The same could be said about Aaron Judge, Francisco Lindor, or Clayton Kershaw. Would a team of nine Clayton Kershaws beat a team of nine Aaron Judges? Dammit, we have a whole offseason to think about this, but now we’re off track.

Previous matchup bonus/demerits

This is a tricky one. Let’s take the Red Sox and Cardinals as an example. No one likes those teams. No one wants to watch them play another World Series against each other. We can go another century before a rematch, and absolutely no one will miss it.

At the same time, the Dodgers and Yankees? It was basically the matchup of every World Series in the ‘40s and ‘50s, to the point where my mom grew up thinking “World Series” was when the Dodgers and Yankees played. But it would feel fresh and historical at the same time today.

Just because teams played each other recently doesn’t mean that you don’t want to see them again. The Cubs and Indians, say. I’d watch that.

Whatever I feel like

This is a new category! Traditionally, this is a spot for regional rivalries, but there isn’t a chance for one of those this year. I guess you can take a commuter train from New York to Washington DC, but it still doesn’t count.

No, this is a spot where I get to rig the rankings. Because, dang it, a Red Sox/Cubs World Series still sounds cool to me, even if they’re both frat boys who forgot their friends from the AV club back home.

I put all of these numbers into a spreadsheet and rank them, every year. Here’s what the formula spits out for the 2017 MLB postseason:

There are three combinations out of the 25 in which both of the teams have won a World Series since the turn of the millennium. Two of them pull up the rear in this exercise.

The Diamondbacks won about six seconds after becoming a franchise, and I’m not convinced that they’ve suffered enough since then. They have a karmic debt to pay back, and I’m not geeked on a 2001 rematch unless Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling travel through time to pitch.

It wasn’t until now that I realized that the 2001 and 2007 World Series were linked in my head. Both were matchups of classic East Coast teams and unfamiliar NL West expansion teams in their first and only World Series. Neither of them are particularly interesting to me as a rematch.

The biggest thing hurting Yankees/Nationals is the chance that the Yankees might win. Because, gross, we’ve seen that before. Otherwise, give me Max Scherzer vs. Aaron Judge and Aroldis Chapman vs. Bryce Harper. That sounds like a pip.

I guess I owe an explanation when it comes to the Twins. I find the idea of a Twins-Diamondbacks World Series very, very funny, so it gets bonus points. It’s one of the ones that keeps Fox executives up at night, which means we should probably root for it.

JOE BUCK: Welcome to the 2017 World Series, where the Minnesota Twins take on the Arizona ...

JOE BUCK: ...

JOE BUCK: look, i just can’t

JOE BUCK: [plays Minesweeper for four hours]

While I’m not excited about another Red Sox World Series, I can admit to being interested in some potential fresh and classic matchup combos. The Dodgers/Red Sox isn’t one we’ve seen a lot of. Same goes with Red Sox and Cubs, the World Series we were robbed of in 2003.

The Twins keep showing up because they haven’t won since before Bryce Harper was born, and that tickles my fancy. If we’re going to spend a week with two teams, at least make them two teams that can make you feel happy for them.

The Twins also rank the lowest in star power, because while I’m giddy about Miguel Sano and love watching Byron Buxton play center, I’m pretty sure Joe Mays would be the scheduled Game 2 starter.

Also, the Astros get bonus points just because of everything the region has gone through, and like heck am I apologizing for that.

Boy, this sure is a lot of Twins.

Maybe I need to rejigger the formula.

On the other hand, the Twins winning the pennant this year would be hilarious, so I’m keeping it all.

Here be Rockies, and they’re faring so well because a) they’ve never won before and b) they would annoy the heck out of Fox. Part of me doesn’t really want to see the Rockies face the Twins. Another, larger part of me wants that to be the matchup because it would be a perfect example of baseball mooning us.

Indians/Nationals should probably be higher, now that I see it. Those are two excellent teams, and it would be a fresh matchup.

The Yankees/Dodgers would not be a fresh matchup, but it’s not like anyone remembers what happened before 1992. I’m a sucker for classic, original franchises meeting in the Fall Classic.

GIVE ME THE REMATCH. If the Cubs lose, it’s the beginning of a cosmic grudge match that might not be resolved for 100 years. If the Indians lose, it’s the building of a deeper loser mythology, the one team that went underground when the Red Sox, White Sox, Giants, and Cubs started winning.

It’s more than that, though. I want to see the Indians at (relatively) full strength, with Carlos Carrasco and an improved Trevor Bauer against a Cubs lineup that isn’t quite as dominant as they were last year. I want to watch Jose Ramirez, MVP candidate, against Jon Lester, not Cy Young candidate. There’s so much potential in a rematch, and I’m all for it.

If not, the runner-up is Indians/Dodgers, which is a classic matchup that hasn’t happened since the Dodgers were the Brooklyn Robins and the World Series was a best-of-9 series. This would be the Momentum Bowl, with the Dodgers drawing comparisons to the ‘27 Yankees in the first half of the season and the Indians drawing comparisons over the last month.

The Astros pick up three spots in the final tier for a couple of reasons. The first is the franchise has been around for over 50 years, and they’ve never won a World Series game, which seems important. The second is, jeez, we’re all pulling for you, Houston. They’re the sentimental favorites, and they just so happen to be a secret baseball sad sack.

Eyeballing this, I’m seeing some matchups that the formula kind of whiffed on. Yankees/Nationals would be a combination of stars and talent that would definitely go down smooth, and the same would go for Red Sox/Nationals. The Red Sox and Cubs should probably be closer to the top, even if that’s only because there’s a little Fox executive inside us all, and I’m just not sure about all the Twins and Rockies. That’s an awful lot of Twins and Rockies.

At the same time, I’m comfortable with the top five slots. An Indians/Cubs rematch would be a treat, an absolute treat, and while I always want to try new things, I’m also the kind of guy who can watch Rounders 47 times because it’s always on basic cable. I’m also not tired of the Indians or Cubs yet. Not quite yet. Give me one more October, and I’ll rail against them next season.

For the second straight year, I’m proclaiming an Indians/Cubs World Series as the best possible matchup. Your mileage may vary. But I’m pretty sure I’m right on this, and you’ll just have to come around.

[thetravellingredhead]

Cambodia

Yet another absolutely stunning country, holy frigging crap. My time spent in Cambodia was a little different than the others so far because I spent a good chunk of my time here volunteering, which was absolutely amazing (I’ll talk for ages about it below don’t you fret) but the trade off with that was that I didn’t have as much time to see this beautiful country. I did get to see the main highlights though and I am sure I will be back so there’s no reason to be upset on any account :)

NEW HOPE FOR CAMBODIAN CHILDREN

Words cannot describe what an absolutely phenomenal place this organization is. I spent 2 amazing weeks volunteering at New Hope for Cambodian Children. It is an orphanage/school complex about an hour outside of Phnom Penh for children who are suffering from HIV. The majority of them have already lost their parents to the disease, or were abandoned by family members who didn’t want them after finding out they were HIV+. All that aside they are honestly some of the most amazing children I have ever met. The first day I showed up the first thing I got was a giant hug and 3 high fives from the kids. The set up of this place is insane, they have everything. There is a giant playground area for the kids, classrooms on one side and a big auditorium where they have assemblies. There are cluster dorms for the kids where they all have “Nannys” who look after then when they aren’t in class. There is a medical centre with nurses and a doctor where they get their meds and go whenever they have any issues. There is a volunteer centre where volunteers stay while they’re there and there are houses for the teachers. It is such a great atmosphere and fun place, even though it’s so hot you literally spend your whole day sweating hahaha. When I was leaving Vietnam I decided that it would be good for me to be in one place for a couple weeks just so I could give my body a rest and a chance to actually heal up, so I thought volunteering would be perfect. I had always wanted to fit in volunteering at some point in my trip and I am so frigging lucky with the way things worked out. I honestly just found NHCC while googling different places, and holy hell am I glad I found it. I spent most of my days helping out the teachers in different classes. My first week I was in a grade 3 class, a frigging ADORABLE grade 2 class, and spent a little bit of time in a grade 5 class. My second week I spent the whole time in a different grade 2 class as one of the teachers is having some health issues and needed more help than the others. It was so great being able to meet so many of the kids and actually spend a decent amount of time with them. It is insane how far along some of them are in English or math, but they vary soooo much. I can’t imagine how much work the teachers put in to create these comprehensive lesson plans while accommodating language barriers and kids with completely different knowledge levels. It was also so nice being with children who were so keen to learn. They all had certain routines with the teachers, but one of the school wide ones was how they greeted and thanked teachers at the beginning and end of every class. It melted my heart (along with literally every other thing they did). When I wasn’t in class or helping out teachers I spent my time playing with the kids on the playground. After dinner every night all of the teachers and volunteers hangout with the kids until bedtime/the sun goes down. That was one of my favourite times of day. So many times I would just stand back and look around and appreciate what a beautiful place it is. Adults from all over the world and all of these beautiful children just playing and hanging out, watching a beautiful sunset over the Cambodian landscape. I’m a huge baby but writing this part of the post is honestly making me teary! On top of all of the wonderful children, the teachers and other volunteers I met are honestly some of the best people I’ve had the privilege to meet. The teachers have dedicated their entire lives to helping these children, it is basically a 24/7 job for 10 months out of the year. I have no idea how they do it but I have such an insane amount of respect for them. Obviously getting in my bike accident wasn’t planned or ideal, but I don’t think I would have found this place if things hasn’t worked out the way they did, and I really believe it was meant to be. Every day was absolutely exhausting but so rewarding and even though I was only there for a short period of time I know I’ll be back and those kids have definitely impacted me. If anyone is ever in that part of the world and would like to volunteer there I know they would be so happy to have any of you beautiful people, or donations are always welcomed. I need to cut myself off here because otherwise this part of the post would be 4 million words long because I can talk about it for DAYS but I’ll just say I am so so so so so happy I got to spend time at this amazing place.

PHNOM PENH

Phnom Penh is a pretty crazy city. It’s absolutely ginormous and there’s lots going on. It’s nice having the Mekong River nearby, and there are soooo many western fast food place it was crazy! First time I’ve seen a Krispy Kreme in Asia! I travelled there after leaving the orphanage with my friend Sara from California that I had met at NHCC and spent a lot of time with. We stayed at this super nice hostel that gives people from NHCC discounts on rooms. I was definitely really sad leaving all those beautiful children, but let me tell you it is soooo nice having a real shower/toilet after having one-armed bucket showers and bucket toilets for 2 weeks!!! At the time it seemed like the nicest bathroom I had ever seen hahaha I was in heaven!!!! The main thing Sara and I did in Phnom Penh was go to The Killing Fields and S21 Museum. It’s hard to describe them because there are no words to describe them, but it was an extremely enlightening day. It is so sad all of the atrocities that happened there and seeing how badly people can treat other people. Before I went to Cambodia I read the book “First They Killed My Father” ( at the suggestion of my beautiful half-sister Vicki) and I’m so glad I did. It was a real story of a family’s experience during the Khmer Rouge takeover in Cambodia and I learned so much. I could not believe how everything was handled and the fact that the majority of the world knew so little. It is so sad but it does make you appreciate and respect the Cambodian people so much with how they have moved on and seem to be really enjoying life! They are such beautiful and lovely people, it is so sad that they had to experience horror the way they did. For the 1000th time on this trip I really understood how lucky I am to be where I’m from and to have access to the kind of life I do. I am so blessed it is ridiculous. After that emotionally draining day Sara and I took the nightbus to Siem Reap!

SIEM REAP

I had the best start in a city that I’ve had so far on my trip in this wonderful city. I left NHCC with my friend Sara who had been volunteering there for a couple weeks. We were still a little emotional about leaving NHCC when we got on our night bus to go to Siem Reap, but it was honestly the best night bus experience I’ve ever had! I’d taken soooo many buses in Vietnam so by this point I thought I was a pro, meaning I’m aware of the psycho drivers, the way they always show up early and just walk down the isles and hit you to wake you up. Not this time!!! We showed up at around 5:30am and were slowly woken up and actually informed BEFORE we showed up that we were almost in Siem Reap and that we had to get our stuff together. We were then given face towels as we got off the bus and were allowed to take our sweet ass time getting off (I’m used to being yelled at if I’m not off in .03 seconds). We had arranged a pick up through our hostel but had told them 6am, so we assumed that we would just be waiting in the bus station for a little while. I grabbed my bag and went to sit down, when I turned and saw a guy standing with the large queue of tuktuk drivers and he had a sign with my name on it, spelled CORRECTLY!!!!!!!! Guys I have never felt and will never again feel more like a celebrity than I did in that moment. We then spent the tuktuk drive to our hostel saying good morning to everyone we saw on the road along the way. I know I sound like a complete loser but it was just so fun and such a great way to start travelling again. Thankfully our tuktuk driver was a saint and enjoyed us being loopy from lack of sleep and yelling good morning at everyone. He actually was saying it with us! The only thing I regret from that morning is not keeping the sign with my name on it. Other than that amazing start I frigging loved my time in Siem Reap. Stayed in a great hostel and made some great friends, by the end of our stay we had a big misfit group of friends from America, Canada, Brazil, Holland and France. Went to Angkorr Wat to see the sunrise which was AMAZING and then spent the rest of the day and half of another one exploring the beautiful temples. It is insane how much time and effort has been put into creating all of those ginormous temples, I could not believe how big some of them were and how many are in that one area! Siem Reap is also such a fun place to walk around and hang out in. I honestly did not want to leave! I became really close with Sara (the other NHCC volunteer from California) so it was so nice spending time with her. Actually spent more time with her than originally planned due to a missed flight on her part after a wee bit too much alcohol one night hahaha but eventually she went back home and I went on my way to the beautiful islands of Cambodia - to Sihanoukville I went.

SIHANOUKVILLE

My time in Sihanoukville was verrrrrry short, mostly on the recommendation of everyone I spoke to before my travels. I’d heard it was a busy, scuzzy place with annoying tourists and from what I saw it seemed pretty accurate. I spent one night on Otres beach, which is the farthest one from the city. It was a beautiful beach and a nice relaxing place to have a night. The highlight of my stay there would have to be this BOMB salad I ate at the recommendation of my two British friends who were there a few weeks before me. It had roasted vegetables, cashews and other wonderful things and it was frigging HEAVENLY. You all know how I feel about salads so I get a lil emotional thinking about salads too much just because of the huge empty whole I have in my life without them. Needless to say it made the trip to Sihanoukville all worth it! After my one night there I was on a ferry to Koh Ta Kiev!

KOH TA KIEV

Because of my time spent at the orphanage I didn’t have as much time as I would have liked travelling the rest of Cambodia. I only really had enough time to see one of the beautiful Cambodian islands so picking was hard. The main two are Koh Rong and Koh Rong Samleon, which I had heard are both stunning. Koh Rong is the bigger one of them all so the most built up and pretty busy. After my time in Siem Reap and being on my own again made me really feel like I needed some alone time. Not in a bad way at all but I’ve definitely come to realize how tiring travelling can be (and now I sound like a huge asshole because I’m so lucky to be able to do this trip) and especially with all of my stupid health situations I was in a bit of a weird mindset. With all that being said I host Koh Ta Kiev, the smallest of island of them all that’s really quiet, secluded and basically a little paradise. It was actually suggested to me by my beautiful mama before I even came to Cambodia! I knew it was her and Dugalds favourite find and I’m so glad I picked it!!! There’s no internet on the island so it was nice to get away from technology and just hang out. The place was absolutely STUNNING. The boat dropped us off on the beautiful white private beach, with not a soul in sight. The place I stayed at had adorable little bamboo treehouse/bungalows all around with a main restaurant/hangout treehouse. It was honestly a little oasis! The people who worked there were so frigging lovely and same with the other guests. I spent 2 days just hanging out and eating the best food I’d eaten in soooo long. The sunsets were immaculate, I did not want to leave! One day some friends and I went on a hike across the island to see the floating fishing village on the other side. There had been quite a bit of rain before I got there so what was meant to be a leisurely hike turned into quite an adventurous trek! At that point I still had a wound on my foot that hadn’t healed from my accident, and I was on strict instructions from my future doctor best friend to keep it covered and to not put it in any water. With that in mind it put my friends and I in a little bit of a bind when we reached parts of the path that were swamps…… After unsuccessfully attempting to find a route around the swamps we said screw it and just went through, safely! I tied a plastic bag around my foot and ended up hopping onefooted for a large portion of the day, with some assistance in parts that were too deep. Definitely not expected but it was hilarious and made the day pretty fun. In the end we made it to the village and my foot was dry and intact!!!!! Mission frigging accomplished. After my two beautiful, quiet days on the island I was fresh, rejuvenated and READAYYYY for the next part of my trip. I actually had quite a few epiphanies about my trip and my life while on the island which I am so grateful for. After my lil emotional time I remembered how god damn lucky I am to be on this trip, experiencing all the things I am and to have the frigging phenomenal, supportive family I have. I literally have the best parents in the world. Like holy crap you two, even from across the frigging world you can make me feel better about everyone in one single conversation. I also realized that even though I’m having the most amazing time, I love Canada so FRIGGING MUCH and I am so proud to be from there. So yeah! Sorry for getting too deep there, I’ve calmed down now I promise. After all that a super fun guy I met on the island from Montreal (wahoo another Canadian!! Ps he’s gay so don’t get too carried away everyone) and I moved on to Kampot.

KAMPOT

The last stop on my Cambodia tour and it was a perfect place to finish. Kampot is a beautiful little river town, full of cute little shops, cafes and restaurants. I spent the first day just walking around the city and hanging out which was lovely. At night we went to this adorable little cinema just down the street from our hostel that shows certain films ever night in the cutest cinema you’ve ever seen. It has tiered lounges/beanbags/comfy chairs and we watched two episodes of the new Planet Earth 2 !!!!!!!!! Such a good night. Our last day we went on this action packed tour that showed pretty much everything there is to see around Kampot. The morning was spent up Bokor Mountain, which was absolutely stunning and full of all of these abandoned buildings, palace and church from the civil war in Cambodia. They were cool to see but definitely very eerie…. But on the bright side the views from the top were breathtaking. Is there anything better than standing on top of a mountain, looking down onto the ocean coastline???? The answer is probably not. I won’t say 100% but I’m pretty frigging sure. After that we had lunch at a beautiful waterfall and then dropped off the majority of the tour group and continued the rest just the two of us. The second half included us in our private tuktuk driving around the beautiful country side going to different sites. We went to the salt fields which were really cool! In dry season they take sea water and literally just dry it out and collect the salt. After that we went to Phnom Chhngok Cave, which I thought would be a short little look around but ended with us pretty much spelunking through the entire thing which was so fun. From there we drove by Secret Lake, which is a beautiful fresh water lake in the middle of the mountains. I felt so at home seeing that stunner. Then we went to my personal sanctuary, a pepper plantation!!!!!!!!!!! We toured around and got to see how it’s grown (which is on vines, mind blowing!!!!), harvested and then sampled the different types. As most of you probably know pepper is my SHIT and I put it on literally everything. It isn’t exactly a staple most places in Asia so I was in heaven seeing that place. From the plantation we went to Kep and saw the crab markets! After that whirlwind of a day we headed back into town. We were very, very tired after all of that but definitely satisfied with my last full day in Cambodia. That night we treated ourselves and went to a cute little cafe and ate such good western food. My friend had poutine and I had an amazing chicken burger. It was a frigging good day. The next day I took a bus to Phnom Penh, unfortunately had to say goodbye to my friend as he was staying in Cambodia and went to the airport to catch my flight to Bali!!! I was sad to leave Cambodia but I was so excited to go to Indonesia and be reunited with my two British friends I met in Thailand for Christmas!

I'm now in Indonesia and absolutely loving it. I definitely do not have enough time here to do all of the things I want to do here, but that's alright. Just another place I'll come back to! Another post with the updates from here will come shortly (hopefully)! I hope everyone had an absolutely amazing Christmas and New Years. It was so weird not being there, definitely missing home more and more! Excited for what's to come but also can't wait to see all of you beautiful people again. Love you more than I can say!

Your redhead