#I’m also having the worst case of writers block ever

[gojonanami]

Patiently waiting for emo boy choso (I say with my eye twitching) I NEED HIM BIBLICALLY OMG

well here’s a teaser :)

[boorines]

what pet names (if any) do you think the svt members would use? ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

this is such a cute ask ahh!! sorry it took literal ages to get to, i’ve had the worst case of writer’s block and i’m slowly working through my reqs!

-

Pet names seventeen would call you

—

SEUNGCHEOL

doll. you’re his world and he’d spoil you to no end. every thing you’d want would become yours and you’d never have to lift a finger. he’d dote on you so much and all he’d expect in return is your love, you’d be his lovely doll.

“look at what i got, doll. you like it? do you think it’s pretty? it’s for you”

JEONGHAN

angel. of course, the angel needs his twin flame. you’d be his angel and his partner in crime. you both have your mischievous, devilish streaks too, so the nickname would be perfect. to him you’re angelic and could do no wrong, even when you’ve baked a cake but won’t let him touch it yet.

“angel, you’re being so mean. just one look? i promise i won’t take a bite”

JOSHUA

love. simple and sweet. he prefers to use ‘love’ because it’s exactly what he feels for you and he wants you to know it, remember it all the time. you’re his love and he wants to shower you in it as much as he can.

“mm, i’ll be there in 10. of course, love, i’ll pick it up for you, i love you, too”

JUN

beautiful. jun is in awe of you. you’re breathtaking to him and he’s going to make sure you know it. he’d call you beautiful so often it becomes a nickname for you. neither of you realise when it happens until you’re being called beautiful for the 5th time in the day.

“there’s a fresh towel on the bed for you, beautiful. you don’t need to find a new one”

SOONYOUNG

babe. simple but sweet. he also uses your name often, he says it softly and gently, like it’s his favorite word. he’ll still follow up with a ‘babe’, though. and if he’s within arm’s distance of you he’s definitely punctuating his sentence with a squeeze of your hand or waist.

“babe, we can do the laundry later, it’s so warm in bed, stay just 5 more minutes? please…”

WONWOO

pretty. to wonwoo, you’re the prettiest person he’s ever seen. it comes so naturally to him, especially when you are the embodiment of the word in his eyes. you could be sat on the couch flicking through apps mindlessly when you’ll hear him call for you. whether it’s to ask for help or just for the sake of having your attention on him.

“want to play a couple of games later, pretty? or watch a movie? what are you feeling?”

JIHOON

your name. jihoon has a way with words, he pours meaning into every single one he speaks. so to him nothing comes close to the love and meaning he puts into saying your name. it would be tender and loving and it would be yours.

“do they fit well, does it pinch at your ankle? they’re very pretty, ____. i’ll get them for you”

MINGHAO

gorgeous. an almost sensual nickname that rolls off his tongue so easily. it shows just how lucky he feels to have you and it makes your cheeks heat up every time you hear it. he particularly loves seeing you flustered when he springs it on you when you least expect it.

“you’re at lunch with your friends today, right? need me to drop you and pick you up after, gorgeous?”

MINGYU

baby. a classic name for a hopeless romantic. something about you being his baby makes him melt and he just can’t get enough of saying it. you feel so cherished when he uses it and he loves the rush of warmth and pride he gets calling you it. often comes with a sudden back hug, maybe even a pout if he’s wanting your attention.

“please, baby, can we watch just one more episode. it’s only 2am… baby…”

SEOKMIN

buttercup. this is SO seokmin. you’re delicate and pretty like a flower to him. and combined with the fact that he’d love being called sunshine or honey? you both are so sunny and bright together.

“i found them! i found the keys, oh my god they were under the cabinet, buttercup. can you believe that?”

SEUNGKWAN

my sweetheart. seungkwan would use ‘my’ a lot, he would love the intimacy as well as the slight possessiveness that comes with the word. my love, my darling, etc. he’d be a sucker for calling you his and showing you off to everyone that way.

“you’re always the most beautiful in the room. let me introduce you to everyone, my sweetheart, hm?”

VERNON

babe. also keeps it simple. he’s more about subtle affection and wants his actions to speak louder than his words. a soft ‘babe’ accompanied by a gentle tap on your knee to wake you up when you doze off on the sofa, another call while he wordlessly points out something on his phone. he’s all about showing, not telling.

“babe, how many eggs should i put in for two ramen packs?”

CHAN

darling. he’s so affectionate with you it’s unbelievable. while he isn’t one for over the top romance, his affection comes through in so many other ways. when he wordlessly refills glasses of water for you throughout the day or throws a towel in the dryer so it’s nice and warm for you after your shower.

“i’ll tidy up, darling. you get ready for bed, yeah?”

[sleep-0-deprived]

Ola Zoro x male reader head cannons SFW/NSFW

Female aligned and minors dni 18+ only blog

Sorry it took so long for new content I have had some of the worst writers block ever and I just watched one piece live action and I’m feeling some way for Zoro, anyway I hope you enjoy ;}

SFW

Zoro as a lover is cold around people and doesn’t display affection around others with you but once the two of you are alone he is a different person he likes the closeness but he will never admit it. Zoro is very touched starved from all his years of pirate hunting and training so he can get clingy at times without noticing

Zoro is very protective of you even more than he is with his crew because you are the first man that he has ever been with and he doesn’t want to lose you. Zoro’s love language is quality time he loves helping you or just spending the days laying around with you and his crew, since he isn’t the best at expressing his emotions and how he feels he likes showing you how he feels by spending time together.

When Zoro first started to like you he denied himself a lot by saying how he felt for you was “unnatural” and he shouldn’t feel this way about another man much less his crew mate. Zoro had some deep rooted internalized homophobia from when he was a kid some of the things from that time period was look down on.

Zoro has since gotten over his old beliefs after he met you, you have helped him accept himself and be ok with being in love with another man and now Zoro wouldn’t change that for the world.

NSFW

When you and Zoro finally have sex he is very gentle and doesn’t want to hurt you. Zoro is a dom and a top he can be a soft or hard dom depending on his mood but your first time together he was soft and intimate.

Zoro is into bondage and bdsm he also has a soft spot for knife play or in his case swords, he will tie you up and fuck you on your back while tracing a knife down your neck and chest.

Zoro makes you have a safe word and will ask you how you feel during more extreme sex. Zoro love your chest and nipples, Zoro will fuck you on all fours while playing with your nipples from behind.

Zoro love sucking and teasing the tip of your dick until it is all red and leaky like a faucet he enjoys the feeling of being in control of your orgasms and love to watch you rut up against his hand trying to get any friction while you whine and beg.

Zoro love biting and sucking on your neck, stomach, thighs Zoro loves seeing you fucked out on his cock while he sees the bruised and bloody marks on your body and he knows your into it by the way your cock twitches every time he licks the blood off you.

Zoro goes crazy anytime you beg him to fuck you but he makes you wait until you break and start crying and begging he loves seeing the salty tears and your flushed red cheeks being all desperate and frustrated for him it makes him go crazy and fuck you like there is no tomorrow.

[faetthorn]

Probably my only contribution to the Pathologic fandom

Some important words below, if you're a patho fan take the time to read them

TW: pedophilia, SA, grooming, racism, colonialism

So I got into pathologic in july and almost instantly got hit with a post about the allegations from back in 2021 against Nikolay Dybowski, game creator and founder of Ice Pick Lodge. He’s groomed several girls ages 15-18 and inclusively has used his position as a member of HSE University in Moscow to do so. 3 years on and people have all forgotten this and are happily cheering for the bachelor route like nothing ever happened 

Yes I know you all wanna forget abt the uncomfortable situations, after all "what can we do" right? I wish I could just pull a switch in my brain and forget too, but I'm a victim of SA and child grooming, and I can't play this game without remembering what its creator did. The worst part is that the characters mean a lot to me. I got into pathologic while suffering from ptsd related nightmares and Daniil, Artemy and Clara brought me a lot of joy and comfort. Even now they and some elements of patho’s story mean the world to me. It hurts to be constantly reminded that everyone is against you, no matter how much you appreciate their work, no matter how much time and money you put into doing it.

I'd properly join the fandom and start calling for a boycott and for these allegations to be discussed and reminded of again but I just know it'll never happen. I'd be ignored or get a thousand replies "oh but the employees, they have nothing to do with it!!" "it's just a game!" "it'll get you nowhere!" “age of consent is x y or z in this country!” "stop being a vindictive little bitch!" "*insert rape threat here*" I expect to receive 0 support on this post and I'll block anyone I need to. Just wanted to let this out of my chest even if nothing will change: Petitions don't work, they never did and they never will. Passivity and politeness never got ME shit, at least.

DOXA, the rus student newspaper investigating these allegations was raided by police (1, 2) and recently considered an undesirable organization by the government. The courts and police would never do anything about this and they’re clearly more invested in persecuting student groups that have even the most basic feminist goals. HSE University didn’t get involved in any libel suits so as far as we know Dybowski wasn’t even fired. Not only is he the creator and chief writer of the games but he's also the head of the studio. Spreading awareness and boycotting is the only way justice can be made (at least in a way non-russians can participate). If you’re considering playing pathologic i cannot recommend it and i don’t want to be the reason someone gives more money to Dybowski. You don’t need more harmful shit when you have 2 games, a dlc and wonderful fandom content the game would never make canon. Hell, PIRATE all the games if you really need to. When the bachelor route comes out the IPL employees will have already been paid for it. Also, let’s not forget that WE DON’T KNOW where the profits we give will go. They might go to CP, they might go to the rus army attacking Ukraine and occupying former USSR territory and Syria.  

I wonder why it's so easy for you all to rightfully call to boycott anything related to zionism without making excuses but then when it's a pedophile with countless cases of grooming and very probably rape you all stay quiet and do nothing just because it's your precious little interests. It's almost like it's all performative

In the same vein, there needs to be a discussion about how violently racist this game is because this art came from anger and sadness. I’m not indigenous but i’ve followed native activism for years and i wouldn’t have the beliefs i have today without the opinions of indigenous people. I know feeling betrayed by the art you use to cope with how horrible reality is is tough. Not only does this game have extremely racist stereotypes and portrays natives as a monolith, but it’s also unsurprisingly misogynistic in an extremely colonial way (need i remind you of Willow, the way the herb brides are dressed or the fixation with portraying steppe people as woman-sacrificing brutes). Not to mention the extreme cruelty of patho 2’s endings. Which is way more insulting when it’s directly tied via the in-game use of Buryat language and inspirations to the native peoples of Siberia who Russia colonized and whose culture is still actively repressed, at a time when the weight of colonization (environmental catastrophe, poverty, sexual violence and more) makes indigenous people commit suicide at a way higher rate than any other ethnicity in many countries, and this includes the native people of Siberia who this game “pays homage” to (1). This fandom in general needs to start being way more critical and checking their own racism too. And to any native patho fans i’m obviously not here to tell you how to feel abt patho’s racism

Well, there it is. I have no hope left to ask anyone to boycott the bachelor route or the other projects Dybowski's created but if this makes you think about the things you throw money at it’ll be something

Edit: I apparently need to clarify something since certain people have been pestering me about it. I'll keep standing behind the part where I say the profits (not the money used to pay the employees, the PROFITS) might go to CP and the rus army and I'll expand on why. The CP part is more than obvious, after all we're talking about a guy who has been sexually abusing underage girls since allegedly at least 2012 with full impunity. The army part might seem like a stretch but if it does to you there's things you need to understand. It should already be common knowledge that misogyny and sexual violence play a HUGE part in colonialism and in russian colonialism it's no different. Dybowski is a misogynistic, violent abuser (because YES csa is violence, always), with racist, pro-colonial views as seen in pathologic. It's a REAL RISK. No pro-Palestine person would ever buy something from an israeli with Dybowski's track record who has given absolutely no statements on the invasion on Palestine while said invasion is ongoing, so the same should apply to Russia. And let me repeat once again: we are not responsible for the IPL employees' well-being and payment. Dybowski is.

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Lost help 😩😩 A sizable number of eruris also seem to enjoy zevi but I just can't get behind it 😭😭 I don't even get the appeal (can you actually explain it to me like actually actually 😭😭) My dislike for Zeke > content from authors I enjoy 😓😓 Zeke is so cold, heartless, and selfish. Like, his mind is stuck in his own selfmade diy echo chamber 😵‍💫😵‍💫 The Levi of my-own-interpretations wouldn't ever get with someone who doesn't value human life like Zeke. Some people may think "Well, Erwin doesn't value human life either" but we see Erwin suffering from guilt. If he thought of his comrades as anything less than human, we wouldn't see him being burdened by his decisions 😶😶He shoulders the responsibility of his decisions and is keenly aware that his decisions and commands sometimes lead to deaths of many. We literally him standing on a pile of corpses in his own mind 😩😩 If he saw his comrades as mere pawns in his quest for Truth, he wouldn't be affected by any lives lost. Idk it irks me when I see people equating Zeke to Erwin, and I see Zeke and Levi's relationship as hostile more than anything 😵😵

I’m not sure I’m the best person to explain the attraction of Zevi! To say I’m not a fan of Zeke would be the understatement of the century, and I have the #zevi tag blocked on all my socials. Having said that, I can kinda see why Zevi is catnip to some fans. Whichever way you look at it, Erwin, Levi and Zeke’s stories are entangled in canon and Levi and Zeke have a very powerful antagonistic relationship. Not only did Zeke kill Erwin, but he is the living embodiment of Levi’s vow.  That kind of relationship is a gift to fic writers. Added to which, Zeke, he is a really well-written complex character with considerable depth. For some fans it’s just a straight up case of hate shipping.  Hate shipping isn’t my thing, but it’s as old as fandom and I’m not going to judge anyone who is into it.  More often than not in Eruri fics Zeke is a convenient plot device.  He often appears as Levi’s abusive and / or manipulative current or ex partner. (I’ve never been entirely convinced by this scenario, but whatever.) This enables Erwin to ”save” Levi. In some cases he might be the knight in shining armour who rescues Levi from his abusive partner. In others, he enables Levi to see for himself what a piece of shit Zeke really is, giving him the motivation and courage to leave and move on. 

Although I try to avoid Zevi like the plague, I have read a few fics by authors I admire that feature past Zevi. One fic I love, which isn’t past Zevi, but which really gets to the heart of Levi and Zeke’s complicated relationship is When in doubt, use violence by no_tengo_porque Levi and Zeke have a really antagonistic relationship from the moment they meet, however they are drawn to each other for reasons Levi doesn’t initially understand. I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t read it, but it’s a really interesting dynamic. 

Comparing Erwin to Zeke makes no sense to me at all though.  They are polar opposites in many ways.  Killing is a game to Zeke, and he actively seems to revel in it at times, whereas Erwin is plagued by guilt over every death under his command. Zeke is egotistical and remains stubbornly convinced that his own plan is the right one, while Erwin sees his own actions in the worst possible light and believes he is a fraud for pursuing his own dream (despite the fact it aligns with Saving Humanity.) They really couldn’t be more different. 

I guess at the end of the day we all interpret these characters differently and we all have our own preferences, likes and dislikes. I dislike Zevi intensely, but if other Eruri authors enjoy it for whatever reason, I’m not going to judge, I just quietly filter out those works and move on.

[jacksgreysays]

Always happy to meet a fellow multishipper! Sorry I read you wrong 😅

As I've been trying to write that fic we talked about (which is finally a priority now that I've reached stopping points with other stories), I think I've found it why I struggle to come up with and write DOS fics. I don't think I have an accurate gage of Shikako's character. Have you ever struggled with that?

Also, thank you for answering my asks about more Hail to the Queen iterations. I love that stuff!

No worries! Shipping to me kinda feels more like personality/sexuality/circumstances puzzles as opposed to, like, a hill I’m willing to die on type of thing. A lot of my most interesting fics are the ones where someone prompts a pairing I never considered which leads me to figure out how such a pairing would work and, again, under what circumstances. It’s very fun :D

Oof, there are some fic that live in my head—not even as plot bunnies but, proto-bunnies. They’re not even ambulatory yet, lol—that will never see the light of day. Most of them involve Naruto and Kakashi. Not because I don’t love them, but because ahhhhh their character voices are SO DIFFICULT FOR ME. Naruto is more difficult than Kakashi because at least with Kakashi I have an idea of how he feels/his main motivation (sad all the time and GOTTA MAKE SURE NO ONE ELSE I LOVES DIES BEFORE I DO) but Naruto is just… O_O I don’t know… what… how do you make decisions, bro?

And this is probably a personality failing on my end but Naruto is just so trusting so often even when there have been so many cases where he shouldn’t be and he pulls the weirdest lessons from certain experiences and he loves to fight and loves jutsu that don’t do anything but cause harm but doesn’t believe in killing even though he lives in a world of shinobi and he wants to be Hokage in order to protect his precious people and he hates war but also he hates the things that a Hokage has to do in peacetime so it’s like… WHAT.

It may also be that he suffers from shounen protagonist syndrome which is that he is more of a force/narrative than a person so any contradictions in his decision making process is because that’s just what Kishimoto needed him to do at any given point.

My struggle with Kakashi is more that while I understand him internally, he’s so good at deflecting and zagging that there’s a strange sort of… layering to his dialogue and behavior that I’ve never quite managed to finesse. Like he says one thing and does another thing but what he ACTUALLY means is neither. It’s very look underneath the underneath

I’d like to think I have a good handle on Shikako’s character although it might be a sort of cyclical me reading DoS (literally the first First Person POV fic I didn’t nope out of after a chapter) and projecting onto Shikako turned into me podficcing DoS and internalizing Shikako which lead to me writing recursive DoS fic and going back to projecting onto recursive Shikako, etc.

Also, unsurprisingly given my ever faithful writer’s block and how I’m no longer as prolific as I used to be, there are a lot of other things I struggle with. For me I don’t think it’s the ideas that are the problem—my brainstorm to actual fic ratio on this blog is out of hand—but it’s the execution of idea into fic that is the worst. Or having cool concepts but not necessarily the background/foundation to manifest them.

Like, speaking of current fic idea that just… won't... just refuse to let me wrangle them... absolutely slip through my fingers...

@loveelemental helped me brainstorm a DoS crossover (won’t say what fandom at the moment) and it would be so dope, but I don’t actually know that other fandom very well even though my brain insists this is the fic it should be writing. Another problem is that, it’s PRIMARILY set in that other fandom AND THEN it’s not even Shikako that is the DoS character!

And I’m just like… WHY IS THIS WHAT MY BRAIN WANTS TO WRITE. WE DON’T KNOW THIS. I ALSO CAN’T COME UP WITH STUFF. EVERYONE IS AN ESTABLISHED CHARACTER WITH A DISTINCT VOICE AND NONE OF THEM ARE SHIKAKO!

So, yeah… the struggle is real.

I also very much enjoy brainstorming collaboratively with people. Often I don’t even think of things until I’m asked a question, so I also appreciate you sending in those Hail to the Queen asks. Legit, the She Who Has Divine Right in which Shikako takes over Haido’s failed invasion force because their literal god chose her over both him and the last of the royal bloodline is EXTREMELY entertaining to me and I don’t think I’d have ever come up with that by myself.

So thank you, too, aryaokayfriend! :D

[queen-of-meows]

CW vent

I am beyond exhausted with my fandom right now. I don’t want to meddle with the Twitter equivalent of a middle school bitch slap fight, but I the same time I feel like a coward for looking away when poeple I know and I care for are being bullied or doing the bullying themselves.

I can’t even say both sides are equally bad because that’s not the case. When I look at the disaster I don’t see two side, I see a hoard of enraged poeple engaging in behaviours that are not equally bad.

Fighting back is not the same as bullying.

Making a few harmless jokes about a character’s costume or fighting abilities is not the same as making feminicide and SA “jokes”.

And in some cases I’m unable to say what’s the worst. Spreading lies and hatred or making public call-outs of said behaviour to the risk of inciting harrassment ?

And for Pete’s sake, don’t ever, ever involve creators, especially to yell at them and harrass them over fandom bullshit. No one is paid for being someone’s else emotional punching bag. Not the McDonald’s waitress, the retail cashier, the paramedic, not even the popular writer.

And finally, for those of us who have privilege : learn to give the other cheek. If a marginalized person want to blow some steam, let them do. Even if they are attacking your “side”, even if they are in bad faith (consciously or because they’re blinded by their anger), even if they openly lie to your face. Just learn to take a few slaps in the face, block and move on.

I want to say I f*cking hate this fandom, because today I really do and I am mad at a lot of poeple I genuinely care for and cherish as individual human beings. But honestly ? I love this fandom. I love the creativity, the community and the shared joys.

Also I’ve noticed that the most toxic fandoms are the ones about medias that tell us to love and support each other in hard times. So maybe we should start to apply this to ourselves and not behave in a way that would disgust our blorbos.

[noco7]

Why are you so invested in Total Drama if you find it so atrocious and hate all of its creators to death?

Look, anon, it's hard to take your question in good faith. There is an interesting question at the root of your ask, "If you consider the media bad, why do you still engage with it?" and that's a question I've actually grappled with before in previous fandoms. BNHA and Kpop alike, and well - the answer was that I LEFT those fandoms. Haven't done that with Total Drama yet, and I have my reasons. But that's not the question you asked, anon. You asked: "Why are you so invested in Total Drama if you find it so atrocious and hate all of its creators to death?" And thats a very different sounding question! Because it sounds like you hate me when you ask it! And maybe you do - which is okay, I'm not mad at people for having Feelings. I'm not the Thought Police. But I can be mad at you for your actions, which in this case... is assuming and lying about me. So instead of answering the question you meant to ask, I’m just going to point out what’s wrong with the question you did ask. "if you find it so atrocious" Okay, I'll admit I've bashed the TD writing plenty of times. But I've also praised it? In the Emma post I've talked about liking a specific plotline:

In my Noah post I've praised an epiosde

I've repeatedly mentioned liking Courtney, Noah, and my profile pic is Cody so like. I do like him too, lmao. I enjoy watching Total Drama the series. Maybe you should have asked me "Do you even like Total Drama?" before assuming I hated the thing. Sure, I dislike a lot of TD writing. But to reduce my views on the show to just that, to just the negatives - "you find it so atrocious," is misrepresentation. Besides that, no one has asked me "whats your favorite plot point," or "whats your fave TD moments" so like. I answer what I've been asked, including this one. If you want to see more TD positivity from me, which is okay, then ASK me for TD positivity! Do that instead of jumping to accusations, I beg you. But the worst part of your ask is this actually this: "hate all of its creators to death" Fuck you. I don't do that, I've never EVER did that. I've never threatened or thought that the writers should be dead. Because I don't actually hate the writers! Thinking someone is bad at their job does not equal personal hatred. I understand taking criticism a little too personally sometimes, I've done it before. But unless you're a TD writer yourself, you should not be taking it personally, because it's not about YOU. And even if you are a TD writer, as a human being you have a responsibility to like... not LIE about what someone else said? Because lying is bad!  So ask me "Could you be less mean about the writers?" or "What is your opinion on the TD writers?" But you didn't! You just jumped straight to "critique = deathly hatred." Which is again, false. I don't want these people dead. I don't even want them fired. Because jobs are important in this economy! Writing a slightly mediocre children's cartoon episode once or twice should never be followed by a real world punishment. No death threats, no harrassment, nothing. Because it's never that fucking serious. The only reason I could ever hate a public figure is because like... they are advocating for terrible LAWS or have committed REAL CRIMES. And I've never checked for the TD people, but I sincerely doubt they are doing either of those. And even when a public figure does that, I'd rather just do my own activism, or block and move on. So like, the TD people might as well be innocent saints to me, lmao. I don't "hate them to death," they're just people who made silly mistakes that I write about sometimes. That's IT. tl;dr: never send me asks this accusatory and downright wrong again. I do not hate the writers, and sometimes I do like the TD writing. Anon, please do better next time. Because any other asks like this will not be answered.

[channeleven]

Let’s Talk About Coconut Fred

I wouldn't say its been a while since I did a review, but there is a considerable gap between this and my last. A lot is happening in my life, I'm set to finish my last term in grad school this Sunday, I'm waiting for an update on a part time job and I'm gonna celebrate by binging some movies on Tubi and YouTube, and since I'm facing some writers block on my last assignment, I figured I'd vent about something.

Remember Coconut Fred: Fruit Salad Island? Me neither. It was that year I moved into a new house, at that point I was just watching Cartoon Network and never really had a reason to watch KidsWB. First I ever heard of it was by chance when I was googling KidsWB's program list, long before this show became a whipping boy of some degree.

I'll get into a contributing factor to me making this review later, but for now, back then I saw at least two episodes in full, Bad Apple, and something about a tropical resort. I had some experience with the show, and I still feel like there's little to show for it. But let's get right into it.

What is?

The mid-2000s saw a small rise in shows with overly optimistic main characters in summery or tropical settings, ballpark to around 2004 when the SpongeBob movie was released, or perhaps when the show was at its peak, before it killed everyone's brains. It's not definite, but imagine if other creators assumed the show was gonna end after the movie, and they wanted to create the next big thing to fill the hole set to be left, a lot of faces would go red over the hindsight.

The show is credited to two creators, Don Oriolo and Sammy Oriti, with development credited to Ray DeLaurentis. Oriti has a very thin filmography, to say the least. He is tied to two obscure films, and this is the only cartoon he ever worked on. Oriolo has a more interesting past, having worked on Campfire Stories, a cheap horror anthology which is notable for being where Charlie Day met Rob McElhenney, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

However, Oriolo does have some experience with animation, primairly working on The Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat and other stuff relating to the property. Oriti and Oriolo do have a big connection, where Oriti was given a special thanks on Felix the Cat Saves Christmas. Oriolo was also behind I Am a Gummy Bear, the music video and the movie. So, quite an oddball pair and one has dirtier hands than the other.

They conjured up a concept and pitched it to someone in the business, in this case, Ray DeLaurentis, and what has he done? Well aside from some work on the 80s revival of Alfred Hitchcock Presents and Providence, he created and wrote the Bubsy pilot, was a common writer on the later seasons of Fairly Odd Parents, wrote at least one episode for Bunsen is a Beast, also wrote for Shaggy and Scooby Doo Get a Clue, whatever was wrong with it, oh yeah, and he wrote Bah Humduck!, the worst Christmas Carol adaptation of all time.

On the upside he has also worked on Xaolin Showdown and Ozzy and Drix, among other stuff that may be considered decent. It seems beforehand he had worked at Warner Bros. Animation hence how this landed in KidsWB's crosshairs.

What makes this show interesting is that it features both American and Canadian voice actors. Our lead is played by Rob Paulsen, keep that in mind, and I believe one character was played by Danny Cooksey. For the rest, we have Michael Donovan, who has gone between American and Canadian productions, Brian Drummond, the first voice of Knuckles the Echidna, Tracey Moore, one point Princess Peach as well as The Geek from Sam and Max: Freelance Police, Kelly Sheridan, who played Diana in Martin Mystery, Britt McKillip, who played Hannah in the Scary Godmother movies, and lastly Eric Bauza, who just two years prior played Stimpy in Ren and Stimpy: Adult Party Cartoon, and would later lent his voice to Slab in Cans Without Labels, the final nail in the coffin for John Kricaflusi. He's also in far too much stuff to mention. He was once based in Canada, only appearing on Adult Party Cartoon because one of the studios behind the animation was based in that country, and the rest is somehow history.

What About?

This is a comedy involving an overly optimistic and naive coconut attempting to spice up life on a tropical island full of living fruits, and of course one guy will have none of it. It seems every episode operates in a bubble, nothing occurring being of any consequence in another.

The first episode I saw, I forgot the title of, and... it wasn't anything to write home about. It helped introduce me to most key characters, for however basic they are. Not even something made for kids in mind, but are you telling me three dimensions is too mature for children? I'm just saying.

However, it was when I saw another episode that things went south, and I became better acquainted to Fred's brand of annoyance, either that or I saw how weak the writing of the show could be. Latter first, they incorporated a running gag where a bully calls Fred a mean name, but it turns out there is an existing character with that name and Fred assumes that's who he's referring to. The former, it's how Fred goes about carrying out the jokes, naivety can only get you so far, and the only way its constant use can work is if the character happens to be aware of it and is just using it to get a rise out of people. I'm just saying, regardless of it being a TV show sometimes you go through something so many times you attempt to rationalize it so you can justify the time you wasted.

But cards on the table, that was the last episode I saw in full, I gave up on a third one and years later, someone did a review of the show.

That's really all I can say about the show, it's annoying and there's no nuance to it, the plots are too weak to hold over flat personalities, likely dumbed down for a lack of true thought, owed to pedigrees of mediocre productions, or in two instances, having little connection to the medium at all. However, that isn't to say a cartoon is automatically going to suck if someone involved has no experience, but that really only applies to writers.

For instance, there's an episode of CatDog, Sneezie Dog, whose writer only had credits to live-action productions, and that episode was decent. There's a Hey Arnold! episode, Magic Show, written by a novelist who had no other experience with cartoons. It can be done, but it depends on what you're bringing to the table.

This is basically the opposite of Mike, Lu and Og, as in compared to another show set on an island that is considered mediocre at best, this is worse than that. Mike, Lu and Og at the very least had more experienced animators and artists, or maybe I'm trying to say something nice about it before the influx of negative reviews bury it, and because I did a review of it that's now lost to time.

But to give a proper summary, this show is like a beehive on a tree well out of walking range. It isn't doing anything, and interacting with it is always gonna be consequential.

But that's not why we're here

There's a bigger reason why I decided to make this, and why it's classified as a "Let's Talk About" rather than a review. There has been an ongoing stigma against this show, which to this day I still don't understand. This is apparently a rip-off of SpongeBob SquarePants.

Now, look, I'm probably the last person who would ever consider something a rip-off. Hell, I unironically watch Irate Gamer and consider AVGN to be overrated and overprotected, why else do people suddenly not have the time to watch a documentary detailing a decline in quality? My point is, I've stopped taking the rip-off label seriously long ago, so when something is accused of being one, I'm always going to see it with some level of skepticism.

Which is good, because considering this show a rip-off is a stretch so big that it'd be easier to call MrEnter a rip-off of Spax3. It's enough to vindicate the sheer volume of stupid that hit Johnny Test, and many asses are still stinging from that era, at least people are becoming kinder to earlier seasons of it though.

Now, I didn't take it seriously at first, I just thought this was general idiocy on the Reception Wiki's part, which is where I first heard of it, but no, people are dead set on framing it as a rip-off.

But let's look into the accusations, or the bigger ones. They went out of their way to claim characters are rip-offs of others.

Coconut Fred is considered a rip-off of SpongeBob, the character I mean. Coconut Fred is not a frycook, let alone employed in a consistent job. He does not have any hobbies that consist of catching things with nets. He does not have a pet that is the equivalent of a cat. He does not have proper buck teeth. He does not have blue irises. He is not square nor is he a sponge. Also, you're basically implying SpongeBob is insufferably annoying if you think Fred is a copy of him.

Slip and Slide are considered rip-offs of Patrick on the grounds of both being idiots. They're two characters, they have a clear Southern drawl, and few strokes of genius. Otherwise by their logic, every dumb character is a rip-off of Patrick.

Mr. Greenrind, you would think would be considered a rip-off of Squidward, but no, people call him a Mr. Krabs rip-off. I've seen only one episode with Mr. Greenrind, he's not greedy, he doesn't own a restaurant, and basically you've never seen a grumpy man in your life.

This last one is absolutely hilarious, Bingo Cherry, a sentient cherry who can speak proper English and works as an assistant to the lead grump... is apparently a rip-off of a house pet. When I first heard the claim of this being a rip-off, seeing the reasons, I thought it was just an elaborate joke poking fun at the Johnny Test hate crowd, but no, this is considered serious enough.

Next, the setting, Coconut Fred takes place on an island, above water. SpongeBob takes place in a city, under water. Coconut Fred and other characters are fruits, SpongeBob characters are fish or some variation of existing sea creatures.

I'll give the Johnny Test crowd some credit, it's quite a coincidence that the smartest characters in that show happen to be red-heads with glasses, maybe that's why Slip and Slide were considered rip-offs based on that technicality?

But fine, I'll play your game, I'll go one ahead and say this isn't a rip-off of SpongeBob, this is more like a rip-off of Camp Lazlo, but let me explain.

Lazlo and Fred are insufferably annoying naive optimists, Chip and Skip and Slip and Slide are dumb as dirt twins, Mr. Greenrind and Lumpus are grumpy leaders of their base of operations and are at odds with the insufferably annoying naive optimists, and both have impish sidekicks who often side with the insufferably annoying naive optimists.

It's honestly hilarious how people are quick to suddenly make comparisons where they don't usually fit, but are just as quick to ignore more blatant similarities for other characters. For instance, Bessie Higgenbottom and Penny Leftowitz give off some clear SpongeBob and Patrick vibes, and I saw at least one person immediately deny it. Either people are blind or they want to protect those quirky girls Twitter users like to wax over.

Sorry about that tangent, I wanted to get that off my chest for a long while.

Now, you may be thinking that I'm ignoring an elephant in the room, that MrEnter probably got these claims going. But let me say this, he didn't originate many of the attitudes animation fans had at the time, he just helped them to spread. People have already hated Breadwinners and the new SpongeBob episodes long before Enter gave their thoughts, now yes, I hold him up for not helping quell those claims sooner, but there is one person who is consistently credited to getting the rip-off claims going, and what Enter probably referred to in his review.

Not a reviewer, not someone on the internet, but an industry professional.

Rob Paulsen.

At one point, Rob Paulsen claimed that the show was a rip-off of SpongeBob SquarePants, for some reason. Best case, he is unaware of how little braincells the animation community has, I mean why else does AniMat have a following? But look, if you think about either show, it is easy to see where either contrasts.

You compare this show to one where there're more differences than similarities if you think hard enough (which is apparently a sin in the animation community these days), and again, more obvious examples fly right over your head.

It has gotten to a point where people claim this is a rip-off based on Rob Paulsen's word alone. And with that, I'd just like to place myself on the hill I'm ready to die on. Rob Paulsen's an idiot. Either he didn't look deeper into where the claims come from, or he just wants to look cool for animation fans. Either he's stupid, or does not have any grasp on grander implications. He was the same guy who agreed to have any part in Doug Walker's career... I can't think of anything else.

Or maybe most SpongeBob fans aren't very bright. I mean, they can't even detect sarcasm, and they have idiots like MoBros and LambHoot assing it up without remorse. A lot of shit has happened with the SpongeBob fandom over the past few years, and Rob Paulsen gave them more ammunition with the most baseless idea yet.

I'm harping on this because it's dangerous to hold something against the show based on one man's word alone. It's one guy's word, we don't know his philosophy or reason for saying these things, and if it's a joke it would be spread so much that people would forget the meaning it originally had. I mean, for instance, Brian Posehn only dunked on Nickelback because they were overplayed on the radio, and you can fill in the blanks.

Final Thoughts

On any other day, this would just be an incredibly obnoxious show that is rightly ragged on, for better or worse. However, when people decide to base their views of it on what another said, it ruins the prospect, because half the time the grander context is sorely missed. I don't care what Rob Paulsen says, his word is meaningless because it was done for validation rather than seeing what he has done.

This is just a case of favoritism and ignorance. If this was considered a Camp Lazlo rip-off then that would be fine as that and this have too many similarities to ignore. To whoever got those crazy allegations going, I hope their career is as troubled as Cam Clarke's.

[the-pink-baphomet1861]

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

Okay! Wow, I wasn’t expecting anything like this when I woke up today! Sure, let’s share some fun (not too personal) facts about myself!

I’m currently studying to be a marine biologist. I’ve always loved all the little creatures and beasties that live in the sea. My favorite creatures are certainly jellyfish (and to a lesser extent other cnidarians) cause they’re just such cool and fascinating critters!

My first hyperfixation that I can remember is actually Angry Birds. At the time me and my siblings would watch those little toons shorts they had in the games and we absolutely loved them. My first blorbo would have to be Bomb, then. He was just my favorite little guy! Now my favorite would have to be bisexual ADHD disaster Chuck. (The movies suck ass though)

I was inspired to start drawing by a really close friend of mine. Their art was really good, which at first drove me towards writing as a creative outlet because I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to match them in skill, but I’ve been working on it and i think that I’ve improved a lot! (I’m also suffering through the worlds worst case of writer’s block right now so there’s that)

Thanks so much for sending this! I’m quite happy to receive it and I hope that you have a wonderful day!

[chaotic-rxses-zee-01]

Hey, I’m back. Let’s chat!

Hey everyone. I’m back on here for good!..I think. Let me explain. I moved houses recently, so I’ve been busy. I also have the worst case of writers block I’ve ever had, ever. So new posts are not happening any time soon. But I have lots of ideas for wattpad books unlike AU’s. So check out my Wattpad account Wonyoungstarr for more stories!

Thats all, goodbye now! 🩵

[teyums]

I really love your writing style tho it gives me some kind of feeling that I normally don’t get from other fanfic writers and you are so underrated. anyway I love you and hope you have a good day:) it would be so great if you write more about Lo’ak #desperateloakgirlie

this is so freaking sweet omgg, thank you so much! i really appreciate this, it’s so fulfilling.💗 i often struggle with feeling like my writing is unique, and i’ve forgotten how much people enjoy it now that the fandom has dwindled a little.

I’ve wanted to write more, but i’m lacking terribly in motivation, and i’m convinced i have the worst case of writer’s block i’ve ever ran into. For a while my posts haven’t been going far or getting much attention like they used to, but the amount of effort i put into my writing has stayed the same the entire time, so eventually i got discouraged. I’m still trying to pull myself out of the funk. I try not to pay attention to numbers, but it’s kind of impossible since they’re right there and i can see that other blogs are still thriving 😅 It’s disappointing which is why i’ve been a bit quiet on posting for a minute, so my apologies to y’all!! :(

also i actually have an unfinished Lo’ak fic sitting in my notes app that i’ve been trying so hard to finish, i just don’t know where else to take the plot so i visit it every now and then with the hopes my brain fog will clear. 😭

[buckyseddie]

light in the dark

pairings — avenger!james (bucky) barnes x bff!fem!avenger!reader

summary — in which, she’s been struggling for far too long and bucky seems to be the only one who notices.

word count — 6.0k.

warnings — angst, fluff, best friends to lovers trope, use of pet-names [sweetheart, doll], mentions of trauma, depression, suicidal thoughts/attempts, eating disorder, basically reader just being completely miserable, bucky literally being the most comforting and softest man in the world, mentions of reader being an empath, kisses, lowkey a hurt/comfort fic. also, i ended up leaving this fic with the promise of the reader and bucky getting together at the end, instead of a for sure type of thing, mentions of reader being organized and her stress-cleaning coping mechanism and being a bad liar.

notes — y’all, i know i have a LOT of requests to get through, BUT i haven’t really had any inspiration/motivation and have been having a LOT of writer’s block. soooo... i am writing this, because recently i’ve been literally at my absolute worst—the rockiest bottom ever. anyways, the point is, in this fic, i’ll be talking about some very serious things that i’m now and have been dealing with for awhile now. i also want to say that if you yourself struggle with these things too and it’s a big trigger or a sensitive topic for you, PLEASE, don’t feel obligated to read it. this is really just for me to get my feelings out and try to cope with my super messy life right now and also to show that you’re not alone if you go through any of these extremely important and serious issues yourself. it’s okay to not be okay. anyways, gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

main masterlist

SHE DOESN’T WANT TO DO it anymore — she can’t.

it hurts too much — she knows that all too well.

her mental illnesses were bound to cause her to lose interest in things and to even grow distant and unmotivated to do things.

but, as an avenger? that took even more of a toll on the woman than you’d ever believe.

it most certainly doesn’t help that she’s had to keep all of this hidden from everyone — especially bucky. 

that’s the thing, though.

he’s not just her colleague. he’s her bestest friend in the entire world — the one person that she turns to for almost absolutely everything.

well, maybe not everything.

where her mental state and stability is concerned, he doesn’t have a single clue. and that’s certainly not his fault.

sometimes, people are just really good at hiding the truth.

and [y/n]? she’s practically a master at that particular skill. 

although, granted, it’s not like she wants to lie to him — it hurts her so much to lie to the single most important person in her life.

but, she’s seen so much of what he’s gone through and she just couldn’t bear to be vulnerable with him about her own issues.

that’s why, as [y/n] lazily walks into the kitchen of the compound, she plasters on a mask that only shows her tiredness and grogginess, hoping that no one is quite awake yet, but still playing it safe, just in case — she isn’t completely sure if anyone is out on the couch, or on any of the other very comfortable furniture in the living room.

although, she doesn’t even bother looking in the direction of the spacious room that is the living room.

she’s much more concerned with brewing up some coffee — also known as her favorite drink in the world.

i know what you’re wondering.

you’re probably asking yourself right now, “why in the world would she be making herself coffee with the mental illnesses that she has and especially, when all she really wants to do is curl up in a ball and sleep forever, without ever wanting to wake from that said sleep?”

really, you’d be right about that — usually. 

but, [y/n] is a very responsible person — she likes to be organized and to take care of things. 

although, having these mental illnesses that obviously slow her down and hold her back, do take a toll on her.

especially, when she’s constantly forcing herself to and needing to still be responsible.

and the reason for her making herself some coffee is simple.

what is coffee normally used for?

it’s used by people who desperately need to stay awake, right?

and that’s what [y/n] needs today. 

she especially needs it because her body is always tired and her mental illnesses doesn’t help the repetitive mental exhaustion that she feels every single day. 

and because she likes to take care of her responsibilities, she refused to just lay around all day when her room becomes a complete mess by every passing day. 

everything in her room is all disorganized and everything is really just a trail of different messes — her room is a disaster. 

and she knows that if she wants her friends and family to believe that she’s fine, she can’t just leave her room a mess.

because if anyone saw what it looks like now, they’d question her on why she wasn’t being her normal clean-freak self and the well-organized woman that she is. 

and if that happened? they’d know something is up with her, because she is a terrible liar — they’d see right through her. 

and if anyone can notice or realize right away that there’s something off about her, it’s bucky, most of all — he knows her like the back of his hand.

and that scares her.

that’s why, when she had shifted in her very comfy bed and her eyes fluttered open as a groggy groan left her lips and her eyes caught the mess on her floor, and then slowly the rest of her room, she couldn’t take it anymore. 

she knew that if she couldn’t even shoulder these simple responsibilities — like keeping her room clean and organized — how could she keep the truth from her friends?

so, that morning, she forced as much motivation and positive energy into herself as much as possible and knew that she would get her room cleaned, whether it took all day, or not. 

and here we are now — that’s how she got herself out of bed with a familiar sense of determination that, deep down, she had missed. 

within a few minutes, she’s successfully gotten everything together and started the coffee and moves to sit down on a stool and rests her elbows on the table with her hands holding up her head.

her eyes tiredly close, her big and messy bun nearly towering over her forehead in a crooked stance. 

besides the coffee pot slowly filling up with more steaming hot coffee by every passing minute, there’s not any other sounds or noises distracting her.

after realizing this, a warm smile — one that she hasn’t had for a long while now — makes its way onto her lips, feeling at peace with the relief of being completely alone, for once. 

but, that one blissful moment of being able to let down her walls and just be in the moment, is slowly killed as a throat clearing fills the room.

[y/n]’s eyes fly open in surprise, immediately catching the man before her moving to sit down on the stool across from her.

her mouth opens and closes repeatedly, like a fish underwater.

seeing this, bucky chuckles, his steel blue eyes twinkling with amusement.

“sorry, doll. i didn’t mean to startle you.”

despite his apology, [y/n] awkwardly laughs, feeling caught.

“i—i just didn’t know anyone else was up yet.”

even though he’s her best friend, she really can’t help but feel how she always feels around him — nervous and warm inside.

her heart beats a little bit faster when his gaze suddenly becomes more intense.

it’s the fact that she knows that look in his eyes — it’s the one he gets whenever he can’t see through her and is trying to figure her out. 

in his defense, her walls have obviously gone back up and he can only see the mask she’s wearing — she’s making it very hard for him to understand her in the moment.

but, what he does know, is that something else entirely is going on.

although he can’t quite place what it is, he still worries about her — he knows how she feels like a burden for opening up to others.

in seconds, maybe even in minutes — neither bucky, nor [y/n] herself could say because when they were with each other, time always seemed to slow down — they both become completely lost in each other’s gazes.

but, as the coffee pot starts to suddenly beep, it not only cuts their moment short, but it also shakes [y/n] out of her daze.

she shakes her head, breath hitching in her throat as the barnes man continues to watch her carefully — he’s testing her.

with the chance to distract herself with getting ice in her cup and mixing some creamer in with her coffee, after having poured it in, she stirs everything together. 

then, she takes a few moments to gather the courage and strength to will that same fake smile onto her lips. 

once she officially has her mask placed back on her face, she turns around with her cup.

although she smiles, the happiness doesn’t quite reach her eyes — this is what concerns bucky the most. 

but, before he can confront her, she’s murmuring something about needing to get back to her room and rushing up the stairs and back towards her bedroom door. 

—————

THE NEXT FEW DAYS ARE much more confusing for bucky. 

after he noticed that there was something off about [y/n], he couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility that she’s hiding something from him.

he literally spent every waking moment of his time paying a much more closer look to her and her actions.

and eventually? he saw it — the very thing she’d been hiding for far too long. 

it really was hard to figure it out — like it or not — because [y/n] had spent so much time perfecting her acting and how she carried herself when she wasn’t alone. 

and worse than that?

it broke bucky to realize that even he, her best friend in the entire world — who knows her the best — couldn’t even notice that something was different about her, this entire time. 

what he has noticed, though, was the little things.

like how she’d barely talk to anyone anymore — even during missions. or how she’d barely leave her bedroom. or how he could now see right through her fake smile now.

but, the moment that she walks into the kitchen again after that day, the rest of the avengers — including bucky — are there. 

as she walks in, the dark bags under her eyes and the messy clothes is the first thing they all notice.

steve and bucky turn to face each other with the same concerned expression. 

[y/n] stops in her place, her eyes widening in shock — she didn’t expect to find anyone in the room at that point. 

and in truth, they probably wouldn’t have been in there — waiting for her — if it weren’t for bucky’s concern and worry over her. 

and trust me, he feels extremely guilty for consulting them and bringing them into the situation.

but, at this point, he didn’t know what else he could do.  

“h—hey, guys… what’s going on?” she stutters out, already becoming extremely nervous about them finding out the truth. 

bucky frowns as wanda steps forward in concern for her friend — he knows [y/n] hates confrontation.

the ex-soldier’s eyes drop to the ground as steve cautiously watches the exchange between wanda and [y/n] happen before their eyes.

“[y/n]... is everything okay?” wanda asks in a gentle voice, but it’s no use.

because, despite the fact that wanda only has good intentions of helping her friend to get better, it was the wrong thing to say to her — so wrong.

[y/n] cocks her head to the side as her eyes widen in shock.

she laughs disbelievingly, before shaking her head in further disbelief. “are you actually fucking kidding me, right now?” 

as she spits out the words, wanda gulps nervously, seconds before steve steps forward and gently leads her back to her place beside natasha. 

“you want to know if i’m okay? well, i want to know if you guys are okay, because clearly something is up if you are acting like this!” the worked-up woman exclaims breathlessly, not being able to help but get defensive with them. 

although getting her frustrations out is helping with letting out her anger, [y/n] can’t help but feel bad.

these people are her family — people that she loves with all of her heart and would literally die for. 

but, she also feels so mad at them.

i mean, how could they question her like this — acting like they all of a sudden care about her well-being — but not have noticed any of her off behaviors before, when it first started? 

it made her feel so hurt to realize that she had to be acting out for her to finally be noticed. 

“doll—” bucky begins to say, stepping forward in slow, hesitant steps, after noticing her unshed tears beginning to become noticeable. 

but, [y/n]’s had enough. “—no, bucky!” she exclaims in an uncontrollable sense of burning anger she’s never felt before in her entire life. 

bucky freezes, his eyes widening in shock at her tone of voice. 

even [y/n] herself becomes surprised at how angry and upset she sounds.

but, she doesn’t let them see it — she doesn’t want them to see how utterly weak she feels. 

taking a deep and calming breath, she turns away from her best friend and faces the rest of her so-called family, more tears clouding her [y/e/c] eyes.

“you guys are supposed to be my family! but what kind of family doesn’t notice the agonizing pain that one of their family members is in?” she questions as her voice wavers in utter heartbreak — something that she can’t believe she feels in this moment. 

she heaves in a deep breath as every one of them begins to feel consumed with an overwhelming amount of guilt and regret.

but, no one feels the same amount of concern and guilt that bucky feels over her.

he steps forward once more, already knowing how alone she must feel right now. 

“[y/n]—”

his voice comes out in barely a whisper, his heart panging painfully at her hurt expression as she struggles to look any of them in the eyes after what she had just blurted out.

but, she was bound to snap at some point. especially, with how she was holding everything in.

in that moment, she barely hears her best friend say her name.

everything just slows down and all she feels is the heaviness of the pain she’s going to have to carry by herself for the rest of her miserable life. 

her bottom lip trembles and she jumps, snapping out of her numb daze as bucky’s touch on her shoulder and gentle look in his eyes startles her. 

“n—no. please… buck, just don’t. just leave me alone… ” she murmurs in anguish as her voice painfully cracks, before she’s backing away from him and rushing to run up to her bedroom. 

in any other situation, bucky would probably have listened to [y/n] and just gave her the space she asked for.

but, not in this situation.

not when his best friend is going through all of this by herself, with no one showing her the support and love she deserves.

and even though she hurt him — and the rest of their teammates, too — he knows, deep down, more than anyone that the second she’s calmed down, she’s going realize of what she’d said in her moment of anger.

and that? that would be good for her because she’s always been sensitive when it comes to feeling things.

what i mean by this, is that the team likes to say that being an empath is her superhero powers because of how deeply she feels things.

it’s always been one of the things that everyone loves about her the most — not the feeling the negative things so intensely, but the way she finds the good in everyone, no matter what they’ve experienced or done.

in the moment, as [y/n] races up to her bedroom, bucky hesitates to go after her — he wonders if he should wait awhile before going after her. 

wanda — noticing his hesitation and his thoughts — steps forward with a concerned look on her face.

the moment [y/n] had backed away from them all, her thoughts had not only become destructive, but they also became suicidally reckless. 

“james, i know you must think that leaving her be is the right thing to do. but, it isn’t,” as wanda’s concerned look only becomes more intense, bucky turns to her with confusion placed on his face. “i read her thoughts. she’s going to do something she’s going to regret — if she’s by herself. you’re the only one who can stop her.”

“what makes you think that i’d be the only one to stop her? everyone here is just as close to her as i am.” bucky states furthermore, still not understanding why she didn’t suggest steve or natasha to go after her — they’re just as close to [y/n] as he is.

the witch rolls her eyes and glares at the man stood before her.

“barnes, are you an idiot? you are her best friend — she trusts you the most. she needs you, not us.” she states slowly, hoping that saying it like that will help him make more sense of it and shake himself out of his confused state and go after the woman he’s so helplessly in love with. 

tony steps forward, deciding to make a joke out of the situation, rather than insult bucky, even with their rocky past and history, “barnes, just get the hell out of here, before one of us sorry dumbasses realizes what she just said about all of us.” 

bucky stares at him with an annoyed stare. 

with a sigh, steve steps forward, rolling his eyes at his friend’s terrible pep-talk.

“what he means, is that you have to go after her. we all know how you feel and it’s quite clear that she feels the same.”

even as he hears those words, bucky finds himself in denial.

although he’s been doing a lot better, he can’t see [y/n] feeling the same feelings — the same angsty, intense feelings — that he has been carrying for her for so long. 

he sputters, bringing up his hands through his short hair in wild stress, “i—i can’t just go in there and confess my feelings! she’s going through something painful and we all know how intensely she feels things.” 

steve places a hand on his buddie’s shoulder, understanding the sense of panic and fear and rejection consuming bucky.

“i mean, what the hell am i supposed to do, steve? there’s no way she loves me like that. what if i say something wrong?” he asks — more to himself than steve.

steve chuckles.

“buck, it doesn’t matter if you say something wrong. i’m guaranteeing that this is all going to work out the way it’s supposed to. besides, what’s important is that she knows that you’re there for her — she can’t let us in and open up with us, until she does it with you.”

as he hears his friend’s statement, bucky pauses for a moment, suddenly finding some clarity in his advice. he’s right, isn’t he? 

but, that’s not what he’s thinking about in this moment.

what he’s thinking about is of the countless moments that [y/n] was always there for him when he was having nightmares, despite going through her own issues.

even when she was struggling with loving and accepting herself, she always seemed to have time for him.

especially, when he’d try to push her away, [y/n] still made him aware of the fact that she’d always be there for him.

and now? it’s his turn to do the same for her.

with that single mindset placed in his head, bucky takes a deep breath, before walking off in the direction of his best friend’s bedroom. 

the moment [y/n] is finally inside her room, she slams her door shut and slides down it.

breathless sobs and gasps leave her as she fully sits down against it and covers her mouth to mask her pain from the others. 

all that goes through her brain is, what could she have done differently that would’ve made it seem like everything was fine? 

i mean, there had to have been something that could’ve helped her keep everything hidden from her family. how did they figure it out? 

[y/n] doesn’t know for sure what exactly everyone knows, but she does know that they know that something is up.

it was clear from the moment she had walked into the kitchen and had caught the concerned looks they all wore.

but, before she can freak out furthermore about this small little conclusion, there’s a soft and gentle knock on the door.

“doll?” bucky calls out in a soft murmur, trying to do his best to make her feel safe with him. 

[y/n]’s eyes go wide in both shock and surprise, trying to surpress the gasp that so-desperately wants to escape her lips.

but, despite not wanting to face him, she surprises herself when she stays completely quiet. 

every time she had always been around bucky, when things had been hard for her, it was so easy for her to open up to him. 

but, for some reason, she’s able to ignore her heart — in which, is telling her to open the door and open up to him about what’s really going on. 

her breath hitches in her throat when she hears him grunt and move to sit down against the other side of the door. 

when bucky doesn’t say anything else, [y/n] sighs, staring off into space. 

it almost feels like hours as they both sit in silence.

and even at one point, bucky’s so quiet — he’s waiting for the right moment to talk to her — that she assumes he’d already left when she heard the front door shut. 

if only she had known that that was just the rest of the team leaving because they had decided to give both her and bucky some space.

not only had they left because it was quite obvious that things would get messy when bucky would have his conversation with [y/n], but also because it was only going to get more complicated and intense because of the fact that bucky is just as in love with her as she is with him. 

because of the fact that [y/n] had assumed her best friend had finally left her alone, it was fairly simple for her to become much more calmer, before beginning to stand up. 

but, the second she opens the door, bucky almost falls through the threshold, causing a shocked grunt to leave his body. 

she inhales sharply, mentally scolding herself for not making sure that he had actually left.

even as it’s too late to avoid him further, [y/n] doesn’t hesitate to back away further inside her room and go to slam the door shut.

but, at this point, bucky has already gotten up from the ground to confront her.

so, before she can quite actually slam the door in his face, he places one of his feet in between the door to keep it from shutting completely.

“doll, we have to talk about this.” he murmurs in a wavering tone of voice, the hurt and concern clear in it.

bucky places his hands against the wall right before where the door meets it, leaning his body forward as he tries to stay patient. 

there’s a part of him that’s not only upset at [y/n], but also angry at her for keeping something from him that’s so obviously hurting her.

but, he also knows that it isn’t fair to her to be angry at her for struggling by herself — he can’t blame her for being the type of person that hates burdening people with her problems and issues. 

as she hears the hurt in his voice, she stops, freezing in place.

tears begin to cloud her eyes as she realizes of how much this entire situation has hurt him.

it hadn’t occurred to [y/n] that she was hurting anyone else, while she was hurting herself.

and hurting bucky? that had never been her intention. 

the only reason that she had kept all of this to herself, was because she couldn’t bear to burden him.

i mean, he’s been through so much, and he’s still struggling to accept himself as a good man. 

but, hearing the pain in his voice?

it’s almost as if a switch goes off inside of her and suddenly, the stubborn mindset that she’d been listening to for god knows how long dissipates into nothing as she slowly pulls the door back and reveals herself fully.

as [y/n]’s red, teary eyes and her shallow breaths become much more obvious and visible to bucky, she bites down onto her bottom lip and glances straight down to the floor. 

seeing this, bucky sighs.

“oh, doll. c’mere,” he murmurs, before walking through the doorway.

before he can quite get to her, she puts a hand up in the air, motioning for him to stop. 

she shakes her head, struggling to let go and to let him in, instead of pushing him out.

“james… ” she trails off in a trembling tone of voice, the fear of hurting him or letting him in breaking her in this moment. 

hearing her call him by his first name brings a flutter to his heart.

this is mostly because of the fact that bucky absolutely loves when she calls him james. 

there’s just something indescribable about her calling him james.

it makes him feel noticed, like she sees him as the real him, not the person that hydra created. 

but, the flutters in his heart doesn’t last very long because of the fact that [y/n] only ever calls him by his first name when the situation is serious or whenever she’s feeling pretty sappy and affectionate towards him — i know that second part sounds romantic, and it kind of is, but bucky doesn’t know this. 

and now, bucky knows that this is hardly a sappy moment between them, so that leaves it to being a serious moment.

“sweetheart, it’s okay. you can trust me, i promise.” he murmurs, taking another step forward, not wanting to overwhelm her further.

after all, this is the closest he’s ever gotten to her letting him in — especially, most recently. 

she shakes her head again, the war going on inside her head becoming so hard to fight that she harshly turns away from him and heaves in a breathless sob as she wrings her fingers into her already snarly and messy bun of hair.

“i—i can’t… ”  

with a sigh, trying to keep himself from worrying about her more, bucky slowly and cautiously walks up behind her.

“[y/n/n], please. you need to talk about this. if you don’t, it’s only going to get worse.” 

another trembling sigh leaves her as he gently places a comforting hand on her shoulder.

she jumps — only slightly — before strictly reminding herself that it’s only him — only bucky.

within a few more minutes of just calming silence between the two, [y/n] forces herself to turn around to face him, and tries her very best to ignore the intrusive thoughts overwhelming her darkened-by-the-minute-mind. 

bucky’s hand stays placed on her shoulder as he gives her a soft look — one that distracts her with the butterflies and fluttering of her heart. 

she sighs softly, frowning as she tries to find the words to explain what she’s feeling.

because in reality? there really isn’t any easy way to explain the complicated things she feels and thinks on a daily basis and how it affects her every day. 

as she opens her mouth, though, bucky moves his hand to her cheek, cupping it.

then, he interrupts her, “why don’t we go out to the kitchen and we can make some lunch? then you can try to tell me what’s really going on?”  

although the thought of eating food suddenly makes her super nauseous and like she could throw up in that moment, [y/n] nods silently and follows him out of her room and down the stairs to the kitchen.

as she glances into the living room, after hearing the shocking silence, bucky chuckles as he starts to pull out some peanut butter and bread.

“the team left a little bit after i went after you.” he explains as she nods in acknowledgement, but still, wears an extremely nervous expression. 

she finds it hard to believe she’s even considering telling him what’s going on.

she never does that.

not even with him.

she used to, but not recently — the trauma she’s gone through over the years has brought her unhealthy coping methods.

the moment bucky finishes making them some sandwiches with chips and places them in front of her on a paper plate, [y/n] gulps nervously as she avoids looking up at him — she hadn’t told him about her eating disorder.

“doll? are you not hungry?” bucky’s muffled voice from eating his sandwich snaps her out of her nauseous state. 

she glances up at him, with the same nervous expression.

“i—i’m fine, bucky.” she whispers, trying to ignore the unshed tears that are now beginning to cloud her eyes.

bucky sighs at this.

“well, you don’t seem fine. and you’ve also been lying and saying you’re fine when everyone knows you’re not. so, sorry to say this, but i just don’t believe you right now.” 

she stays silent, before finally pushing the plate away from her as she glances away from both it and her best friend.

because of the overwhelming emotions she’s beginning to feel from everything that’s going on, the tears finally drop, causing her to quickly wipe them away.

“doll, you gotta talk to me. i know something’s going on and honestly? it’s scaring me. i need you to be honest. i know it’s scary because you’re not like that, but i promise you, everything’s going to be fine.” he says, suddenly getting up and standing in front of her as she moves, so that her body is facing away from the counter now, too. 

you hear that? you’re scaring him. wouldn’t it just be better if you did everyone a favor and left, so that they won’t have to deal with you being a constant burden? 

that negative voice in her head echoes in her head, but she refuses to listen to it. 

for some reason, she finds some will power to tell that voice no.

she will never kill herself, just to end the pain — it will only hurt bucky.

and she can’t do that to him. no matter how much she’s suffering. 

“buck… i never told you this — any of it. but, things have been different for awhile. i don’t know how or when, but they just did. and it’s been really hard for me.” she starts off, not daring to look at him as she tries to find the words to describe what she’s been feeling all this time. 

after hearing her begin to explain herself, bucky grabs his chair and moves to sit in front of her, patiently waiting and giving her that look that always makes her feel safe with him. 

“i can’t explain it, really. but, all i can say… is that i’ve been really struggling with my mental health — there’s this cruel voice in my head that’s darkened things for me and it’s made me feel really negative about myself to the point of where i feel like everyone would just be better off without me around anymore.” she whispers, wincing when a sharp intake of breath is heard from bucky.

“doll… ” he whispers, but she holds up a hand, interrupting him, “that’s not all. i’ve just been really also struggling with my anxiety. and the other thing that i never told you is that i have an eating disorder — i’m anorexic. i can’t stand the smell of food or the taste of it and it makes me sick to my stomach — that’s why i refused to eat earlier.”

bucky’s speechless as he looks at her in shock.

all he can think is, she went through all of this, without anyone to help her? 

“w—why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, tears now forming in his own eyes as she fidgets nervously with her fingers, scared he’ll yell at her, or get angry with her.

i mean, he has every right to — at least, in her head he does — when she kept all of this a secret from him for so long.

but, he doesn’t.

he simply grabs her hands and holds them safely in his own, trying to give her some kind of comfort — enough to give him an answer. 

[y/n] takes a deep breath as her eyes stay placed on their joined hands.

“i… i was scared of how you’d react — you and the team. i know you guys would never judge me, but some deranged part of me feels like you guys are constantly judging me and secretly hate me. it’s why i feel like you all would be better without me in your lives.”

“doll, you know we can’t survive without you — and i mean, everyone. we wouldn’t last a day without you. you’re the whole reason the team is so good together — you’re the glue that keeps us held together. you know that, don’t you?” he murmurs seriously, scooting closer to her so that he can tuck a single strand of her hair behind her ear. 

as she looks up at him, her breath gets knocked out of her when she sees the look of adoration in his eyes.

“buck… ” she whispers, tilting her head.

“y—you really mean that… don’t you?”

“of course i do. i’m always here for you, no matter what happens.” he states softly, almost getting lost in her hopeful eyes.

then, as if he can’t control himself, he glances down at her lips, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with this sudden compulsion to risk their friendship and kiss the hell out of her.

“james… ” she trails off, she herself glancing down at his own lips — his lips that look so damn inviting.

and before he can think, he slowly leans forward as he lifts his hands to hold her head in his hands and presses his lips to hers.

her eyes flutter shut, and everything stops for a moment — all the thoughts, all of it. 

the kiss itself leaves them both breathless and more in love with each other.

when he pulls away, he places his forehead against hers and breathes in deeply.

“sorry.” he whispers, but she just giggles.

“you’re apologizing for kissing me? am i that bad that you can’t imagine us sharing a kiss?” she giggles out into a teasing tone, but some truth still hidden behind it. 

“of course not!” he exclaims a little loudly, offended that she’d think that. 

[y/n]’s eyes go wide at the volume of his voice as his own also widen in realization as he sighs and chuckles a moment later.

“sorry. i just mean that i don’t get why you’d think that i’d not want to kiss you.” he mumbles in an embarrassed tone of voice.

with a sigh, [y/n] nods.

“i’m sorry, too. i hate that i always need to be reassured that people actually like me or aren’t going to abandon me.” she murmurs as they pull away from each other, before bucky moves to stand up and lifts his hand up in the air, waiting for her to take it.

she furrows her brows in confusion.

“what?” she questions, tilting her head to side in further confusion.

bucky rolls his eyes at her cluelessness, before looking back down at her with a pointed glance. “you and i are going up to my room and we’re going to talk things out. it’s what you need, and at this point, i’d rather you talk to me and no one else than you not talking to anyone at all and suffering by yourself.”

after hearing those words, a soft smile makes its way to [y/n]’s lips.

then, she sighs and places her hand into his as he lifts her up to stand in front of him, before leading her up the stairs to his room.

the moment she walks into the room, a sense of safety and calmness takes over her, immediately washing her of the darkness she had felt only minutes ago.

she smiles at the realization that the darkness hadn’t followed her into bucky’s room.

and she knows exactly why.

even when [y/n] hadn’t told bucky everything, she always felt safe with him.

and that is still true in this moment — more than ever, even. 

and a freeing smile takes over her current one as she realizes more as she steps through the door that bucky is her light — he’s the bright light that leads her through the darkness and into eternal happiness.

maybe she isn’t fully healed from what she’s been through and how she’s dealt with it recently, but he’s the light that’ll help bring her back to life, slowly, with time.

[auideas]

Hi! If you don’t mind, I’d like to request some soulmate AU ideas?

I’m a sucker for the soulmate trope, but I’m having serious writer’s block, and I need help

Hey!! Okay, so for this one, let's take a look at all the soulmate tropes floating around right now -- maybe one of them will click with you!

Classic soul strings of fate! You're connected to your soulmate by a red string that you can follow. Many stories explore what happens when this string is cut or when there's no string at all.

You can only see in black and white until you meet your soulmate; then, you world turns to color.

On your 18th birthday, you swap languages with that of your soulmate. This is normally not an issue, but what if the language you start speaking is ancient?

After you enter a relationship with someone, there's a chance that in exactly a year, something clicks in your brain that tells you whether or not that person is your soulmate. What would happen if that happened with your new best friend?

Soulmates could be a part of the worldbuilding, but what if they're just randomly assigned and the whole system is a lie?

Hear me out: what if both you and your soulmate know you are one another's partner, but you decide you hate each other too much to go through with it and decide to actively sabotage the relationship instead?

A rumor says that your soulmate will know the same weird piece of obscure knowledge you do, and no one else in the world will have any idea what it is. Everyone tries to learn and share everything they can so they can meet their soulmate, but really, it's just a farce to get everyone to share facts and ideas.

What if you could tap into any one of your soulmate's five senses at any point? Sight, sound, touch, etc. Or...what if you could tap into their sixth sense? Maybe you can feel that someone's watching them? That they're in danger? What then?

Feeling your own emotional peaks can be hard, but what if you also felt your soulmates'? What if they're fairly neutral until one terrible day when it feels like your heart was ripped out of your chest?

At birth, you're born with two eye colors: one is your natural eyes, and the other is the eye of your soulmate. When you meet, your eyes return to their natural state.

Whenever your soulmate is physically hurt, a flower blooms from the same location. This is never a big problem aside from special cases, but what would happen if a thorny rose cracked through your chest from your heart?

They say you have two soulmates in your life: one romantic and one platonic. Well, what if you were given the names of your two soulmates, but it's never specified which is which? What if you get it wrong?

There's also always the classic "you wake up in your soulmate's body on a random day and you have to live their life for 24 hours oh nooooooooooo."

Soulmark AUs:

When you write on your skin, the image or word appears in the same place on the skin of your soulmate. What if words started floating near a location on your body, almost like your soulmate has some extra skin where you don't?

The first words you say to one another are tattooed on your skin far in advance. Or, maybe the first thing the other thought when they saw you?

What about the worst thing your soulmate ever said is tattooed on your skin? This would open the door to a lot of possibilities and honesty, especially if the worst thing they said didn't seem all that bad...that is, until you get the context.

Alternatively, what about a stain where your soulmate will touch you for the first time? What if you can't find yours, so you think you don't have one until you go in for an emergency surgery and your abdominal cavity has marks everywhere...pretty crazy.

On your 18th birthday, you wake up to your soulmate's initials on your wrist. What if your soulmate changed their name? Maybe they're in witness protection? How do you find them?

You're supposed to get a mark on your birthday to tell you where you'll find your soulmate -- instead, you wake up covered in marks, all of which say "nowhere."

[respectable-username]

Based on the responses to my post yesterday wanting to know more, here's my guide to

🧑‍💻Code in Hermitcraft (and other SMP) Fanfic🧑‍💻

Note: This is just the interpretation of one Jr Software Engineer. If other developers have a different interpretation, I'd love to hear it in the comments or reblogs!

It's super common in Hermitcraft (and I'm assuming other SMP) fanfiction for the plot to revolve around errors in the game itself and how they affect players. The problem is, as a software engineer, this almost always immediately pulls me out of the story as the ways the game errors are described frequently don't make sense.

This is not a condemnation of writers who use game bugs as parts of their stories, as nobody expects all SMP fanfic writers to have a CS degree. Some even do it well and I adore those stories when I find them! But here are some high-level suggestions to have your glitchy plot points make a little more sense. Usually, it's just a slight change in wording that's required.

Code vs Data

"His code is glitched! He's evil now!"

"They carefully pulled at the strands of her player code, trying to find the bug that was causing her pain."

"Wow, your code is so ancient! You're from Alpha, right?"

These sorts of phrases are probably the most common ones I see that yank me right out if a story. Why? Because they're confusing data and code!

So, what is the difference?

Think of code in this scenario like the laws of physics. It's the rules that guide what can and can't happen in the world. It's what says "if you walk, you move forwards", "if you eat, you'll be less hungry", "if you use a shovel on a dirt block, it will end up in your inventory".

Data is the actual "stuff" in the world that the code changes via its rules. Data is the specific blocks in that building, that item hovering above the ground, the mobs staring at you from under the trees, the player character, the player's health, the player's inventory, the player's skin, and, in the fanfic context, the player's personality and memories.

In other words, if it's an action that can happen, it's probably code. If it's a specific thing, it and everything that makes that particular thing unique is data.

Of course, there can be bugs or glitches in the code which means that data does something it shouldn't, such as "if you put some TNT, some dead coral, and a minecart in this very specific configuration, you can duplicate the TNT." In this case, the act of duplication (ie the rules that let duplication occur) is a glitch in the code (the rules allow something they shouldn't), but the duplicated TNT itself isn't code; it's data. Data that shouldn't exist but does anyway because of that glitch in the code.

So, how could you rework the sample phrases above to make more sense?

"He got too close to a glitch, and his personality data got corrupted. He's evil now!"

"They carefully prodded at her player data, trying to find the broken property that was causing her pain."

"Wow, your data structures are so ancient! You're from Alpha, right? I can't believe you've survived so many updates without compatibility issues!"

Code vs Logs

"Xisuma looked through the code to find the source of the glitch."

This one's a little less clear cut, as there are circumstances where players could look at a version of the code. Some of the Minecraft code is Open Source (ie free to look at), and the rest can be decompiled from the Minecraft .jar (ie turned from machine-readable ones-and-zeroes back into words and stuff, although much less human-readable than what the original code would have been). The super-technical players such as the SciCrafters and I think Doc too will look at the code, which is how they make their super efficient farms and find and exploit glitches to, say, put 8 spawners in one chunk.

But generally, the code is not the first place you go when encountering a glitch. I mean, if it were that obvious from the code alone, it probably would have been caught before being shipped!

When something goes wrong, the first place to look is the logs. The logs of what the players have been doing, the logs of previous commands that have been run, the update changelogs for the game, the version history of the (admin-editable) config files, any warnings or error logs from the server itself. For example, if you have a malicious user such as, say, a Helsmit in your story, the logs would show when they entered the world and where, unless they also did something hacky to cover their tracks.

Personally, I also wouldn't say you'd have to stick to exactly what a server would realistically log if it makes your story more interesting. It's easy enough to hand wave that an admin has a mod in place that surfaces more information if it'd make the story better!

In a multi-server setting, this is also the point where the admin of your world could also reach out to the admins of other worlds and discuss if they've seen the issue before and how they solved it. The in-universe equivalent of looking it up on Stack Overflow or Reddit if you will!

Once the admin has looked at the logs and maybe chatted to others, if they still can't fix the issue via commands or config file changes, then it might make sense for them to try looking into the code if they can. Note that not all server admins are necessarily confident at programming as it's not a core part of their job.

But at the very least, at this point the admin should have a better idea of what part of the code could be bugged. This will make it easier to either a) make a patch for the bug or, more likely, b) understand what circumstances trigger the glitch and avoid those circumstances.

TL;DR: The code is not the first place admins will go when glitches cause issues; the logs are!

And as before, example sentence:

"Xisuma trawled through the logs, trying to find any indication of the source of the problem."

To Conclude

Code is the rules that govern what stuff can do and how stuff interacts. The stuff itself is data. When something goes wrong, that typically results in the data being in a state it shouldn't be in, wether that be because that thing's velocity is much higher than it should be after taking advantage of the ravager flight glitch, or because a player and a mob's data structures got combined on accident to leave them a player-mob hybrid.

Of course, this broken data is likely caused by a bug/glitch in the code. It could also be caused by somebody malicious who's purposefully trying to break things by messing with the memory in another way. It could also be because a cosmic ray hit a piece of RAM and flipped a single bit (this is an actual thing that happens believe it or not).

Either way, when something goes wrong, the admin's first point of exploration is the logs, not the code. The logs will give the admin a better idea of what the cause of the issue is, and talking with other admins could give them a solution without ever touching the codebase. But worst-case scenario, it is indeed possible for an admin to go spelunking through the codebase to find the cause of an issue and create a patch for it.

This just covers the most common code-related plot points that I personally see in Hermitcraft/other SMP fanfiction. If you have any further questions about writing code-related plot points, feel free to ask! And also, just to reiterate, this is all just my interpretation. Others may interpret differently, and if you do, I'd love to hear what your alternative interpretations are!

PS: I was also planning a section on hacking here, but this post is already getting long and that's complicated, and also I'm bad at hacking. But let me know if you have any questions related to that that you'd like to see in a follow-up post!

[fanficsfromyesteryear]

happy very belated birthday, enna!! i’m so so so behind on this, and i’m sorry for that! i’ve had quite the case of writer’s block lately, but i wanted to come out of my unofficial and definitely unannounced hiatus to whip something up for you! hope your day was extra special and sending lots of love to you 💕 also, this has a super cheesy ending, but i thought it was cute and i hope you like it too @druiigg​​

“What are those for?” María asked as she tied a knot into the neck of yet another balloon, her eyes trained on the container of Quaker Oats in Billy’s hand.

“It’s bad luck to have a party without them,” Billy answered, giving the carton a shake before setting it on the corner of your desk. He paused, ducking his head in embarrassment upon meeting María’s incredulous gaze, and shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I know it’ll just be the three of us, but I’m not taking any chances. All the worst parties I’ve ever been to have been seriously lacking in the Quaker man department, and if he’s not here to watch over us tonight, there’s no telling what’ll happen.”

María shook her head, a smile gracing her red lips. “You’re so weird,” she playfully scolded, batting the balloon in her hands over to the Rat, who reacted just late enough that it bounced off the side of his head.

Weird superstitions aside, Billy was right about one thing—the party was to be a small affair. It had been an especially hard week of classes—with the arrival of Madam Gao at Kings, the teachers had been cracking down on homework and dishing out harsher punishments. Even now, on a Saturday, you were holed up in the library, working on an assignment. After such a grueling week, all you could hope for was a peaceful night in with your closest friends, and while Billy and María knew that schoolwork was the last thing you wanted to be doing on your birthday, your absence opened up the window of opportunity for them to set their plans into motion.

Initially, María, in true María fashion, had wanted to do something elaborate for your special day—throw a big party on the rooftop, complete with plenty of cake and some of Lex’s homemade fireworks—but Billy had been quick to rein her in. Not only would such a thing be nearly impossible under Gao’s suspiciously watchful eyes, but it didn’t sound like something you’d enjoy. You took pleasure in the smaller things in life—secret smiles passed between friends over inside jokes, sharing your favorite snacks on the rooftop to stargaze after a long day, or piling together on a twin-sized bed to watch old VHS tapes. A large celebration would’ve been overwhelming on a good day, much less with how drained you’d be when you eventually called it quits on your studies.

So, María relented, opting instead to focus her party-planning energy on decorating your dorm room. After an awry training exercise in Miss De Luca’s class late yesterday afternoon, your roommate had been sent to the infirmary and had been there ever since, meaning there was no one to complain about the streamers hanging from your ceiling fan and the top of your dresser and the balloons scattered across the floor save for Billy, who knew better.

The sound of a key entering the lock drew the duo’s attention to the door, and they were quick to spring into action. Billy grabbed the cupcake from your nightstand—a little gift he’d gotten Marcus to snag for him on his way back from his job at the comic book store—and shuffled through the pile of balloons to stand at the entrance to your room, María following suit. She gripped onto Billy’s upper arm, bouncing on the balls of her feet in anticipation, but Billy was feeling a different kind of anxious.

Now that the time had finally come for you to arrive, Billy was second-guessing himself. Staring at the cupcake in his hands, he wondered if they should’ve done more—should they have taken you out somewhere?—but as the door swung open and his gaze trailed up to see your tired face break out into a smile, his shoulders relaxed, expression mirroring yours.

Suddenly, María surged forward, wrapping you in a hug. “Happy birthday, amiga!” She took a step back, opening her arms for Billy to join, which he did, winding one arm around your back and holding the other up so as not to smush the dessert.

When the three of you at last broke apart, Billy pulled his cigarette lighter out of his jean pocket, igniting the single candle that stood proudly atop the cupcake before extending it to you. “Make a wish,” he said.

“What more could I wish for?” you asked, eyes darting between the two of them. “I’ve got everything I want right here.”