#I’m feeling okish??? today

[rosicheeks]

did you get my last ask? idk if it went through or not _ 🎤

💖

[bequiteanddriveeeeeee]

Hi I just woke up from my nap I had this really bizarre nightmare and I think I might have a head cold

Most of the day I’ve felt okish, sniffles, loss of voice, worst was a pretty accute sore throat with boils, I get a lot of sore throats so I’m the grand scheme it was only like maybe 6/10. I took a shower, finished a digital painting, and spent plenty of time playing Mario Kart listing to tales from the trip in my boxers, well I woke up at 5am today and was awake most of the night, so a bout an hour ago I decided it was nap time and it’s gotten worse

I don’t know why but I don’t sleep things off, I always wake up 5x worse. So that brings me to my dream, back home (my source) I was a above left knee amputee whatever I’ve talked about this before, well in my dream it was a looping memory of waking up partially lucid in surgery (which I did do) and watching my skin being grafted back on. Then waking up for real after the procedure, well in dreamworld I was strapped to the bed and gagged and it wasn’t the hospital I remember it was a hospital in this world, the worst place I’ve ever been. God, I used to have catatonic episodes where I felt my soul was trapped there for two years after my escape, the aftermath of that place is what got me a C-PTSD diagnosis. In my dream I’m there and theirs a stench of urine and feces and cleaning chemicals, and I start screaming against this cloth gag before being sedated and brought back to concousness over and over in a time loop as one of the female doctors there pet my face, I eventually stopped screaming and when I was roused would just beg ‘give it back give it back’

I feel really fucking awful and I have that sick tightness behind my eyes and the world is in slow motion I’ve been shivering while I wright this and I’m 99% sure when I was “put under” in the dream is when I was waking up in real life from not breathing from my sore throat closing against itself or a stuffed nose. My sinuses hurt I’m in hell

[feisty-fae]

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

No

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

A

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

[thelifeoflorna]

~8/3/2020~ Not a great deal to report today. I didn't sleep brilliantly - not really sure why, and didn't feel too well in the morning, but what's new there! 🤷‍♀️ Slowly settled into the day with Netflix (I'm already feeling more hooked than I want to be!), colouring and a few jobs around the house 🤍 Then decided to get the bus to Crawley as I wanted to look round art and craft related shops for proper scratch art tools as I have a project in mind, but get fed up with the silly wooden sticks and get sore fingers from using pins and needles. I was unsuccessful in my mission. Got the bus back to my fave quiet Costa to write my journal. I've been reading Matt Haig's Reasons To Stay Alive - am over halfway now, and think it's going to be a struggle to finish it. I'm finding it really disappointing - it's actually making me feel really irritated and low! 🙈😠 But I'll reserve my full judgement til I've got to the end. At home now. Okish, though struggling with feeling low and irritable - I guess this hasn't exactly come out of nowhere though. Some of it is prob worrying about tomorrow - knowing I'll be around others who have experienced a loss like me, and somehow I don't find that idea comforting...😥 🦄 #instadaily #instablog #update #mentalhealth #dissociativeidentitydisorder #cptsd #traumarecovery #edrecovery #anxiety #chronicillness #disability #pots #potsie #dysautonomia #positivevibes #recovery #sheffieldpark #depression #walking #nationaltrust #spring #daffodils #reflection #natureseeker #nature #naturelove #skyporn #glow #amazingsight (at Sheffield Park Garden) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9e5cAdp5CL9oZaSHIAO29YCHNJ7U5PJqBZcws0/?igshid=1xbnsu5he353u

[pacificnorthwitch]

Please send whatever positive healing vibes you can into the universe

I was just in a pretty substantial car accident - the entire back end of my car was crumpled in. I am feeling physically okish at the moment, I'm running on adrenaline and I am worried my neck is going to be fucked tomorrow.

The person who hit me was uninsured, and unlicenced I think. I believe he was living in the vehicle, though he said he was taking it for a test drive. Though his injuries were mild, he opted for the ambulance ride, to avoid the back of a cop car I believe. He does not deserve to go to jail for what happened today. No one was seriously hurt.

Pray for my body to get through this without pain. Pray for the person who my car was pushed into, for their injuries to ease. Pray for the man who hit me, that he may slip through the fingers of our unjust justice system.

[journalbyravi]

280921

Been a while since the last entry...

I think I am starting to make a bit of progress on with the quadricep tendonitis. Have found some helpful videos from Jake Tuura and been watching them over the last week. I've been doing heavy single leg rear foot elevated/Bulgarian split squats (60kg+) which seems to be helping and today did cossack squats prior to squatting and then weighted cossacks after squatting. Hit 96kg x 2 on squats without too much pain, which is definitely progress. Really want to get to the point where I can squat everyday, even if it is low volume without much pain. My back (herniated disc) is feeling better as well. I've been testing it with heavier loads on hip dominant movements i.e. RDLs and Hip Thrusts. The only exercise it felt a bit uncomfortable on was the military press today, but will try and take it easier in future.

Eczema on my arm has been stagnant the last week. I had a flare up yesterday which I got under control. Diet wise I'm not really sure what to do next. I think maybe I can try a low histamine approach. I've started eating cocoa and coffee again, just been a couple of days so haven't noticed any impact. I think if that doesn't work then maybe pure carnivore (meat and eggs only) might be next but really want to avoid that!

Sleep has been okish. I've had a mixture of good and bad nights recently. Not sure what the pattern or key is still to getting a solid 7-8 hours straight without waking in the middle of the night. Melatonin helps sometimes but doesn't other times. I think I also have been a bit inconsistent with sleep times, especially when I'm on leave. Need to be a bit more disciplined.

I feel like I'm getting a bit too invested in work as well recently. Need to remind myself that no matter how hard I work I won't earn more money. Sure I may get a bonus but is it worth it for the effort? Also the bonus depends a lot on team performance. I need to focus on investing my money as that is what will maximise my returns. Remember what you learned this week, money is just a unit of time.

[occult-oracle]

hi! my initials are V.C. i have a crush (he has a crush on me too), his initials are J.L. will we ''start our romantic relationship'' in february, or later? will the relationship be healthy? i hope you're doing well!! :)

Hi VC!!

I’m getting there, feeling okish today which is unique.. Anyway .. time to answer your questions, I got a Yes that the relationship will start to get deeper from February and Yes it will be healthy, please take of each other and I wish you all the best.

Ask for a reading here

Please use the ask button not the messaging system…

FAQ here - http://occult-oracle.tumblr.com/faq

[achitachi]

survey says

because i’m bored and waiting for “asks” to appear is still a weird concept to me

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Probably my oldest 2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Depends on the situation 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

God. There are going to be words. 4. Are you easy to get along with?

::shrugs:: 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

yes 6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

I plead the 5th 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

yes 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

The same person that always is 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Depends on the situation 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Er, probably hubby 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

Youngest got molars coming in 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Uh, high hopes by panic at the disco, hungover by 30h!3,  breaking benjamin, jet pack blues by fallout boy, heathens by 21 pilots 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

YES 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yes 15. What good thing happened this summer?

I don’t know. The world hasn’t ended? 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yes 17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

yes 18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No 19. Do you like bubble baths?

I have eczema and psoriasis so no 20. Do you like your neighbors?

What neighbors? 21. What are you bad habits?

Er, I can’t escape my past 22. Where would you like to travel?

Disney, Legoland 23. Do you have trust issues?

ROTFLMAO. DURRRR! 24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Watching tv with hubby after the kids go to bed 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

The middle 26. What do you do when you wake up?

Try to go back to sleep 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Lighter, I want to blind people with how pale I am 28. Who are you most comfortable around?

Myself 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Er…. 30. Do you ever want to get married?

I am, so yeah? 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Yes. My hair is usually in one 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

I don’t do casual sex. If we were all single and into then – Jay Baruchel, Ben Feldman (yes, I have a type) 33. Spell your name with your chin.

Huh? 34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Nope, unless mental gymnastics count 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

Tv includes music hurdurdur 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Yes 37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Usually I make random noises and if I like the person I will poke them; if not I just walk away 38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Physically see #32. I like people who can both act like a big kid and be an adult. Also someone who shares a majority of my interests. 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Target. Art Supply Stores. Lately though I do enjoy window shopping beauty stores like ulta and sephora 40. What do you want to do after high school?

i’m doing that 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

NO 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

You are fucked and should’ve probably started running away yesterday 43. Do you smile at strangers?

I’m paid to 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

ocean 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Usually my kiddos or my bladder 46. What are you paranoid about?

A lot 47. Have you ever been high?

Does being zoned out of your mind on benadryl count? 48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yes. New Years before we started trying for our first. 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

I don’t think so... 50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore?

Either forest green or charcoal – yes I am THAT person 51. Ever wished you were someone else?

doesn’t everyone? 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My weight 53. Favorite makeup brand?

I don’t wear it often enough to have one 56. Favorite color?

Fire 57. Favorite food? 

Cheese stick 58. Last thing you ate?

Breakfast – veggie blueberry muffins, maple sausage, scrambled egg, and banana 59. First thing you ate this morning?

-_-^^^ 60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Not that I recall 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope 62. Been arrested? For what?

nah 63. Ever been in love? 

Yes. Unfortunately more than once 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

My very first? I was in kindergarten, it was on the playground under this giant banyan tree 65. Are you hungry right now?

kinda 69. Are you watching tv right now?

no 71. Craving something? What?

Date night 72. What color are your towels?

Most of them are blue 72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

The number keeps increasing. Currently i’m at 6 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

no 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Too many 75. Favourite animal?

cat 76. What colour is your underwear?

No of your business 77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate 78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Black raspberry 79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Why do you care? 80. What colour pants?

Seriously why? 81. Favourite tv show?

Currently Wynona Earp 82. Favourite movie?

oi. tough call. All time is still Tenchi Muyo In Love 87. First person you talked to today?

oldest 88. Last person you talked to today?

oldest 89. Name a person you hate?

AMLA and AR 90. Name a person you love?

hubby 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Amla 92. In a fight with someone?

nah 93. How many sweatpants do you have?

one 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

2 95. Last movie you watched?

2 lego movie 96. Favourite actress?

Amy Acker 97. Favourite actor?

Nathan Fillion 98. Do you tan a lot?

No. I just burn. A lot 99. Have any pets?

no. not enough room. 100. How are you feeling?

Emotionally exhausted, otherwise i’m good 101. Do you type fast?

meh 102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Rotflmao. YES. HELL YES. 103. Can you spell well?

Sort of 104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Every single damn day 105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

No TnT 106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

yes 107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes. I wanted immediately down. They are TALL 108. What should you be doing?

Cleaning. 109. Is something irritating you right now?

Yes. 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Rotflmao. Yes. It still fucking hurts. 111. Do you have trust issues?

ROTFLMAO. DUH! 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

myself 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yes 115. Do you play the Wii?

no 116. Are you listening to music right now?

Nope. Just the a/c and my oldest playing in his room 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

I prefer tomato or butternut squash 118. Do you like Chinese food?

:9 119. Favourite book?

Only Alien on the Planet by Kristen D. Randle and Sabriel by Garth Nix 120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Sometimes. I don’t really have the luxury to be 121. Are you mean?

Yes...when I have to be 122. Is cheating ever okay?

NO 123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

I could 124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

::grumbles:: yes 125. Do you believe in true love?

No and I think it’s a toxic notion 126. Are you currently bored?

i’m filling this out aren’t I? 127. What makes you happy?

Hubby, kiddos, sleep, hanging with bestie 128. Would you change your name?

I changed the last part 129. What your zodiac sign?

Aries 130. Do you like subway?

Not really 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

This is how I lost that friend. They crossed a line. 133. Favourite lyrics right now?

I hope you’re happy – Happy by Blue October 134. Can you count to one million?

No. just no. 135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

That I was dating a guy named Michael when I got back together with a guy my parents didn’t approve of :🙄: it was his middle name 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed 137. How tall are you?

5’7” 138. Curly or Straight hair?

I like curly hair. I have wavyish hair 139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunette 140. Summer or Winter?

Neither. Fall 141. Night or Day?

Night 142. Favourite month?

It use to be october, but honestly whenever summer vacation starts 143. Are you a vegetarian?

no. I like my meats tyvm 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark like my soul 145. Tea or Coffee?

tea 146. Was today a good day?

So far 147. Mars or Snickers?

musketeers 148. What’s your favourite quote?

“I love whom I love," Prince Lir repeated firmly. "You have no power over anything that matters.”

― Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn 149. Do you believe in ghosts?

yes 1. Did you wake up cranky?

Er….

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

HELL NO

3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

I am a hermit

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

i’m paid to

5. Can you commit to one person?

i have

6. How do you look right now?

okish

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

depends

12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

uh...i'm married to the person i like so...that poses a problem

13. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

*snort* NO

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

Nope

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

*shrugs* as long as it doesn't get back to me. i don't give a flying fuck.

16. Are you going out of town soon?

nope

17. When was the last time you cried?

What day is today?

18. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yes

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

no

20. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Get the kids out of the house

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

it’s not friday

22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

no

23. Are you nice to everyone?

to a point

24. What are you sitting on right now?

a desk chair

25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

dur

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

yup.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

hubby

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

I have 2 kids and live with someone who works in a hospital - guess

29. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

no. i'm not a prison bitch

30. Does anyone hate you?

Probably. Do I I give a damn? nope

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

no

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

no

33. Are you a jealous person?

yes. just like god

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

Not so much a year, but a stretch of time right after my final breakup with my first bf to right before I meet my hubby

35. Did you have a dream last night?

I don’t remember

36. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

no

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

i hope so

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

yes

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

possibly

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

meh

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

yes. still in the same relationship

42. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

no. I have an extra little person in my life

43. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

I don’t know. This?

44. What’s the best part about school?

THE SUPPLIES! i have an addiction to pens, pencils and markers

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

Old ones

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

yup

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

constantly

48. Were you single over the last summer?

no

49. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

cleaning

50. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

yup.

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? yup

2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused? taken

3: What if I told you that you were pretty? um, thanks

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? no. that’s a stupid line anyway

5: Are you interested in anyone right now? yup

6: What are you looking forward to in the next week? Going to a museum with the kids

7: Do you want to be single? nope

8: Did you go out or stay in last night? Stayed in. always staying in

9: How late did you stay up last night? 11pmish

10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot? sorta

11: Last three things you had to drink? Water, flavored seltzer, water

12: Have you pretended to like someone? no

13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? yup - to my mom, she lies to me too, so we're even

14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? yes

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone? Gawd, yes

16: Think back five months ago, were you single? nope

17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? Putting youngest down for a nap

18: Hold hands with anyone this week? yes

19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? yes

20: What would you name your future daughter? I’m done with having kids and I have 2 boys so the point is moot

21: Do you miss anyone? all the damn time

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night? yes

23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? no

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings? hell no

25: Have you ever cried from being so mad? yes, yes i have

26: Who did you last see in person? oldest

28: What is something you currently want right now? Either a brand new king size mattress and my OWN bathroom

29: What is the last thing you said out lot? don’t forget to put the “oldest” to bed

30: How is your heart lately? Stitched together and always sore af

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? not usually

32: Are you wearing socks? now? no.

33: What do people call you? my name

34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? i live with him, so yea

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life? always

36: Who did you last share a bed with? my hubby

37: Did you do something bad today? no

38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? Recently, oldest did

39: Do you get stressed out easily? YES

40: Will you sing today? I sing lullabies to my kids, so probably

41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? yes

42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Right now, my own mind

43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

45: What is wrong with you right now? I can’t escape my past

46: What is on your wrists right now? skin?

47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? the store 0_o

48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? Chai tea

49: Do you make wishes at 11:11? er, no

50: Are you a good artist? i like to think so

51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? No. it’s messy, it’s ugly, but it’s the most precious thing in the world

52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? can i remember six months ago....um. no

53: Ever been on a golf cart? yes

54: Do you have trust issues? hells yeah

55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who? Yes. Twice with hubby. I think once with my ex...not sure

56: Do you own something from Hot Topic? Not anymore. i’m 35

57: Do you use chap stick? sometimes

58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face? heh. yes. with a wet towel in fact

59: Do you have a little sister? yes

60: Have you ever been to New York? yes

61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? yes

62: Have you hugged someone within the last week? yes

63: What were you doing at midnight last night? Trying to get youngest to fall back asleep

64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? yup

65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? yes

66: Were your last three kisses from the same person? uh....

67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? yes

68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. Honestly even after so many years, I miss having a bed to myself. Hubby is a friggin’ space heater

69: Will next Friday be a good one? dunno

Name: i have a lot of them and few i actually answer to

Does your name mean anything? strong Were you named after anyone? yes Nick Name(s): not in the mood to share those Date Of Birth: March 31, 1984 Current Location: earth Sign: Aries Religion: heathen Height: 5'7" Weight: none of your business Hair color: silver blue What do you look like? me Innie or Outie? Innie Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous? right like a left Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other: ok. Currently cis, demisexual biromantic. Have fun with that Do You Have... Any sisters: one Any brothers: technically two, one living Any pets: no A Disease: eczema, psoriasis, anxiety A Pager: nope A Personal phone number: yup and you can't have it A leather jacket with studs on it?: nah A heroin needle: nah, heroin is too expensive A Pool or hot tub: no. too much maintance A Car: yes Describe Your... Personality: tired mom Driving: cautious as fuck Bed: not big enough Relationship with your parent(s): interesting to say the least Do You... Believe in yourself: most of the time Do you believe in love at first sight? sorta... Consider yourself a good listener: yes Consider yourself a good friend: i try Pray: sorta Believe in reincarnation: yes, been there done that and i think i've done this all before 0_o? And i’m really really really not looking forward to doing this crap all over the fuck again Like to make fun of people: no Like to talk on the phone: no Like to drive: yes Get motion sickness: yes @.@ Eat Chicken fingers with a fork: sometimes Dream in color: don’t you? <_< Type with your fingers on home row: yes Sleep with a stuffed animal: no What Is/Are/Was... Right next to you: computer On the walls of your room: an ugly cream On your mouse pad: map of westeros Your dream car: van Your dream date: any that involves a babysitter for kiddos and hubby and I leaving the house Your dream honeymoon spot: well, my honeymoon took place at disney Your dream husband/wife: honestly, someone who gets me Your bedtime: 11pm Under your bed: wires and story stuff The single most important question: do you trust me? Your bad time of the day: 4:50pm Your worst fear(s): something happening to my kids or hubby The hardest thing about growing up: growing up, moving forward Your funnest experience: there've been a number of them Your scariest moment: being so happy to hear my boyfriend at time cursing The silliest thing you've said: i've said a lot of foolish things The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex?: shit. a lot of things. beg is at the top of them The craziest thing that's ever happened while with your friend(s): damn, a lot of things The best feeling in the world: being loved [ favorites ] Color: the colors of fire Day: monday Song: anything by breaking benjamin Movie: tenchi muyo in love Food: string cheese Season: FALL Class: art Teacher: ms. ariel Drink: seltzer water with lemon Veggie: frozen peas TV Show: wynona earp currently Radio Station: TnT don’t have one Store: target Animal: kitty Flower: peach roses State: denial sounds good City: the one were old rich people go to die [ love and relationships ] Do you have a bf/gf?: no. i'm married :D Do you have a crush?: yes How long was your longest relationship?: long and going How long was your shortest relationship?: a month? Who was your first love?:  technically micha, but I was in kindergarden. Love love: JMD What do you miss about them?: everything [ the past ] What is the biggest mistake you've made in your life?: dating amla Who is the last person you kissed? youngest Who is the last person you hugged?: oldest Who is the last person you fought with?:myself Who is the last person you were on the phone with?: I honestly have no idea [ the present ] What are you wearing?: pjs what are you doing?: this? Who are you talking to?: no one at the moment What song are you listening to?: none Where are you?: my apt Who are you with? The kiddos How are you feeling?: thoughtful [ future ] What day is it tomorrow?: tuesday What are you going to do after this?: put youngest down for a nap How old will you be when you graduate?: graduate from what? What do you wanna be?: happy and well adjusted? What is on of your dreams:? to own a place of our own that has some green space Where will you be in 25 years?: i'll be 60. who knows [ have you ever ] Drank?: like alchol? Yes. don’t care to though Smoked?: just j00r mom Had sex?: dur Stolen?: once Done anything illegal?: nope Wanted to die?: a few times Hit someone?: yes [ other ] Do you write in cursive or print?: small print What piercings do you have?: I use to have 2 per ear, they probably need to be redone it’s been so long ;_; Do you drive?: yes Do you have glasse or braces?: both at one time, now just glasses Did you like this survey?: meh [ Physical appearance ] What do you most like about your body? : my eyes And least? The middle and could I swap brains for one that works? How many fillings do you have? : in my teeth? 2 I think... Do you think you're good looking?: i am teh smexy Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking?: yes actually Do you look like any celebrities? : no clue. I was once told I look like winona ryder, but I have no idea where they got that from <_<; [ Fashion ] Do you wear a watch? : that's what my cell phone is for Favorite pants/skirt color? : jeans most expensive item of clothing? : wedding dress Most treasured? my stolen black gap tee What kind of shoes do you wear? : slip on shoes with memory foam insoles Describe your style in one word : comfy [ You ] How old are you mentally (as in are you mature?): ancient What are your worst qualities: I can’t escape my past What are your best qualities: i’m loyal af How long does it take you get ready in the morning: +hour [ School ] Do you like school?: use to Why/why not?: friends What's your fave subject? : art Most hated subject? : english Do you have a fave teacher? : ms. ariel Ever had a crush on a teacher? : ew no

[ Friends ] Do you have heaps of friends?: no Do you have a best friend?: yes Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?: I have one girl friend Do you ever get annoyed at any friend?: sometimes Have you ever lied to a friend?: yes Have you ever stolen a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend?: nope, but i've been stolen [ Family ] Do you like your parents? : er... Ever run away from home?: should've Ever thought about it?: read the above Do you feel your parents spoil you?: no Do you not get along with any of your family?: all of them [ Relationships ] Have you ever experienced unrequited love?: too many times Do you find it romantic or hurtful?: hurtful j00 weirdo 2. What is bothering you right now? That I can’t escape my past 3. Will you kiss the last person you kissed again? :-* chuu! 4. What is in your wallet right now? Cards, money? what’s in your wallet? 5. Wallpaper on your computers desktop? Burnt toast 6. wallpaper on your cell phone? kiddos 10. Where do you work? Where the lie “where shopping is a pleasue” came from 11. What is the last thing you ate today? food? 12. What are you doing this weekend? what's this weekend you speak of? it is a foreign term to me 13. What are you wearing? Clothes? 14. Who was the last person to send you a text message? hubby 15. If you could have one person with you right now who would it be? They are here 16. Listening to? a/c 17. Have you ever kissed anyone named Phillip? on the cheek. he's my cousin 18. What do you smell like? Nothing on a good day. Bog swamp thing with a side of potato chip on a bad day 19. Eating? souls 20. Have you hit someone today? No 21. Do you believe in a soul mate? Yes and no. and I think the whole fucking thing is toxic as all get out 22. What do you wear to bed? pjs 23. Are you excited for school? only the supplies 24. Do you burn easily in the sun? OH GAWD IT BURNS! CLOSE THE F*ING WINDOWS! 25. Have you ever been gambling? nah 26. What is your dream car? van 27. What did you do last weekend? Work? 28. What have you learned recently? Stuff? 31. Have you ever had a crush on your sisters/brothers friend? actually yea...he lived across the street 32. How good is your eyesight? i can see the colors in white walls, you tell me 33. What was the last thing you drank? water 34. Whose house did you go to last? my own 35. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? hubby– bad vertigo 36. Do you love someone right now? :3 yesh 37. What do you wear more: shorts, slacks, jeans, or sweatpants? jeans. 38. Name three drinks you drank today? water 39. what are you excited about? Sleep? 40. What is your dream phone? dream phone pfft come on 41. Ever broken a promise? *laughs* 42. Favorite Yankee Candle scent? Mountain Lodge ::snort::

43. Last birthday party attended? uh.... 44. Last vacation? Where? Huh? 1. How many people do you have feelings for? What kind of feelings? 2. Who is your worst enemy? myself 3. What's on your mind? Why do i still care about this shit? 4. What are you doing right now? thinking 8. Are you jealous of someone right now? yes 9. Who makes you happy most of the time? The kiddos and hubby 11. How was your halloween? it hasn't happened yet 12. When is the last time you have been to taco bell? not in long time 13. Are you mean? i am the meanest bitch alive XD 14. Where would you rather be right now? i’m good 15. Are you mad at anyone? yes 16.What was the last thing someone said to you on the phone? bai? 17. Who did you last hug that wasn't family? uh...i'm not big on the touchy feely with people who aren't my family 18. Have you gone out of your way to make a new friend? no, they just sorta come outta the wood work 19. Do you shower? most days 20. What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad? 0_o oh geez, most of that shit i don't remember and for good reason 21. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad? most likely 22. Do you cuss when you're mad? and not always in english 23. When was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? Hmm...let’s see what day is today? 24. Do you like crying? sometimes, yea. i feel better and can breathe better 25. are you normally a happy person? uh...*shrugs* 27. Does being with your friends make you happy? ^-^ 28. Do you hold grudges? I make arya stark look like a saint when it comes to that 29. Are you annoying to people? prolly 30. Is cheating ever acceptable? NO 31. What's one thing you hate right this second? Lord moldy cheeto? 32.What really bothers you? My memory

33. Animals around you at the moment? there’s a black cat outside 34. Drinking anything at the moment? nope 35. Ever thought you were going to get married? sorta 36. Last person from the opposite sex you told you loved that wasn't family? that wasn't family? *shrugs* 37. Last person who told you they loved you? oldest 38. Where did it go? OVER THERE! IT'S BEHIND YOU! RUN!!!!! 39. Favorite video game? Halo 2 and left 4 dead 41. Do you like spiders? Only spiny ord weavers. The rest if they come inside my home they are DEAD 42. Are you a cat person or a dog person? cats have claws, dogs your suppose to pick up their poop 44. First kiss? i was in kindergarden, his name was Micha 45. Tan or pale skin? tan = skin cancer 46. You're deserted on an island, what do you have with you? the red pill 47. Favorite lyrics? All those fairy tales are full of shit One more fucking love song, I'll be sick 48. Biggest regret? dating amla 49. Did you have a New Years kiss last year? don’t remember 50. Do you want children? I has 2 1. Who was the last person you hung out with, actual one-on-one? bestie 2. Do you think you're approachable? When I want to be 3. How do you feel about the person you kissed last? cutie 4. Do you regret doing anything in the past week? yes 5. When was the last time you had alcohol? uh... 8. What does your last received text say? dunno 9. Do you have a dirty mind? dirty and morbid 11. Have you been pressured to do anything recently? no 12. Who's the sweetest person you know right now? kiddos 14. Do you know anyone with a serious illness? yes 16. Is anyone interested in you right now? yesh 18. What's your favorite number? 13 21. Do you hate anyone?

Lord cheeto, amla, ar... 29. Who do you miss? its not so much the people, but the time we had together 30. Have you ever quit a job by just not showing up? wanted to, but no 31. Have you ever lost a person? yup 32. What would you do if your ex is engaged?

Both ex’s are married. First I wish him the best. The second – karma is going to catch up with you one day. 34. Would you rather feel pain or be numb? Both suck 36. Do you like competition? no 37. Would you take someone back after they cheated on you? No 38. Have you ever taken anyone/anything for granted? doesn't everyone? 39. Do you hate being alone? um...depends 40. Has anyone ever broken your heart? broke my heart, ripped my soul, fractured brain...etc 43. Last time you went swimming in a pool? Weeks ago 44. Where was the last place you went shopping? Big box store 45. How do you feel about your hair? it's on my head 46. Want to kick anyone's ass? hehe >:D yes, very much 47. When was the last time you were hugged? a few hours ago 51.Who was the last person you hung up on? idiots

Do you think somebody's in love with you? hai<3 Is it easy to make you cry? yes and no it's not a good idea to try Do you consider yourself lucky? sometimes Can you honestly say you're okay right now? Lol no What are you planning on doing after this? Put youngest down for a nap and hopefully nap myself Next time you will kiss someone? soon Have you ever read an entire book in one day? I am the devourer of books Have you told anybody you loved them today? hai How many months until your birthday? A lot. won’t have another one till next year What's a word that rhymes with "tower"? bowser. *shrugs* What's on your agenda for tomorrow? Get kiddos out of the house Who do you not get along with? My mom What's your biggest fear? Something bad happening to my kids or hubby Last time you had grilled cheese? Not in a while Do you think you can last in a relationship for three months? Yup. Am and going Besides your mouth where is your favorite spot to get kissed? heh...neck How did you feel when you woke up? can i sleep in some more? What does your hair look like? A hot mess. it’s brown and mauve right now. Need to fix that. When was the last time you saw your father? recently Do you wish someone would call or text you right now? Yes Do you crack your knuckles? no. causes artheristis and i like my hands, even thou they hate me What were you doing yesterday at midnight? Trying to get everyone to sleep When was the last time you laughed really hard? really really hard? that's an easy answer: 9th grade during lunch. ian just knew what to say to have the liquid i was drinking come out my noise. funny yes. hurt like hell thou *shrugs* Last awkward moment? um... What did you do last night? sleep Are you tan? i have a moon tan Who is the next person you'll hold hands with? Oldest or hubby Are you afraid of the dark? I don’t have the luxury Do you have good vision? no Have you ever tripped someone? dunno. my bookbag has thou. so far 200,000 kills and counting Have you ever slapped someone? yes. yes, i have. Do you use chap stick? sometimes Do you have any scars? on my right thumb, in the middle of my nose, on my right cheek... What's bothering you most right now? Memory and hormones Is there someone you will never forget? Yes and I wish I could damnit Would you marry someone 8 years older than you? no Can you go in public looking like you do? Could, but won’t Where were you at 9am this morning? Making breakfast Do you take walks often? No, but I should What woke you up today? youngest How has the week been? meh Do you find it hard to trust others? *laugh* this is me your talking to. of course i have trouble trusting people. i mean come on, seriously Are you single/taken/heartbroken/crushing? Taken by the sea….points if you get the reference How fast does your mood change? how fast is j00r mom? Do you miss the way things used to be? often. Where is your phone? Infront of me Want someone back in your life? Yes.no. it’s complicated What are you excited for? sleep Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Cut them out of my life Are you planning on going to college? Nope. Have my AA. i’m done Will tomorow be better then today? Hope so Is there anyone who understands your relationship status? 0.o wtf kinda question is that?

1.Your ex is on the side of the road, on fire.which ex? first ex: yea, he IS fire. second ex: point and laugh 2.Your best friend tells you she's pregnant. uh... 3.When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? recent 6.What are you craving right now? Alone time with hubby. Hey you asked 7.What was the last thing you cried about? Stuff I can’t change 8. When you buy something and your change is a penny.What do you do? save it up 9.What color is your tissue box? blue or green 12.Scariest thing you've experienced in the last year? Hubby having bad vertigo 13.Have you ever had a garage sale? yea, they're not fun 14.What is the last alcoholic beverage you had? uh...i don’t recall 15.Are you happy right now? mostly 16.Who came over last? bestie 17 Do you drink beer? looks like piss, smells like piss, so yea my theory is that it IS indeed PISS 18.Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted? XD that’s how you know you’re related 19.Dark or light jeans? come to the darkside, we have cookies :D 20.What was the last movie you watched at home? 2 lego movie 21.What is in your pocket? no pockets :( 22.Who introduced you to your boyfriend/girlfriend? exbestie 23.Where do you hurt? my heart, my head 24.What is your favorite aisle at Wal-Mart? face wash section? 25.When is your birthday day before april fools 27.Who was the last person you went shopping with? myself 28.What about your favorite dessert? What is it? Dark chocolate 29.Do you have the same name as one of your relatives? yes. both my aunts 30.Do you like pickles? sweet jerkins :9 31.Is someone in love with you? hai <3 32.What color is your couch? brownish 33.Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member? only on the phone -.-* 34.Does someone like you right now? durrrrr 35.Do you know anyone in jail/prison? hmm...i dun think so 36.Who was the last person to send you a text message? hubby 37.How many hours did you sleep for last night? i don't keep track. i sleep. i wake up. 38.Do you swear at your parents? I don’t bother anymore 39.Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? prolly my ear is ringing 40.What is the last thing you spent money on? food 41.Name one thing no one can ever take away from you? ....that's a deeper question than you really think it is... 42.What is the last thing you ate that had onions in it? Bloomin’ onion :9 43.Crunchy or Puffy Cheetos? crunchy! 44.The first person on your friends list just called you a bitch. LOL, i call them a slut, they call me a whore, etc... XD – this is an old answer. I want to cry. I don’t talk to them anymore and I miss this. 46.Do you wear a name tag at work? Unfortunately and I don’t know why everyone has a weird interest in what my full name is 49.Say you were given a pregnancy test right now. Negative 50.What were you doing at midnight last night? Attempting sleep

Who is the funni​est perso​n you know?​​ youngest What kind of first​ impre​ssion​ do you think​ you make?​ I honestly don’t know Name your last reaso​n for using​ a camer​a?​​​​ kids doing something cute Type a lyric​ from the song you'​​​​​re liste​ning to? I walked the path, it led me to the end, remember Do you own a pair of conve​​rse?​​​​​ TnT no What color​ are your eyes?​​​​​ ice blue Where​ was the last place​ you fell aslee​p other​ than your bed? couch Do you have a best frien​d​?​​​​​ hai Who was the last perso​n you talke​d to on the phone​?​​​ dunno Whose​ bed did you sleep​ in last night​?​​​​​ mine own What are you excit​ed about​?​​​​​ going to the museum Seven​ days from now, will you be in a relat​ionsh​ip?​​​​​ yes, and the world will end Do you like to cuddl​e?​​​​​ hai <3 but not with random ppl,  Have you spoke​n to your mothe​r today​?​​​​​ *rotflmao* NO Have you ever thoug​ht you liked​ someo​ne and then found​ out that you reall​y didnt​?​​ ...once, after 4 years....it's a sad story back from my brainwashed days -.- *sigh* Are you too forgi​ving?​​ fuck that Do you think​ someo​ne is think​ing about​ you? yes. you. now. mwahaha! If you could​ pack up and move,​​​​​ would​ you? Yes. But I hate packing Are you a happy​ perso​n?​​​​​ eh Would​ you ever get a tatto​o?​​​​​ yuppers Did you enjoy​ your weeke​nd?​​​​​ mostly Do you regre​t anyth​ing you'​​​​​ve done recen​tly?​​​​​ no... Is there​ anybo​dy you wish you could​ see? yes Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e with a name that start​s with J or C? Yes  Looki​ng back,​​​​​ did you ever waste​ too much time on a certa​in boy or girl?​ who hasn't? How many peopl​e of the oppos​ite sex do you fully​ trust​?​​​​​ *laughs* fully trust? you're asking me this? Do you have good eye sight​?​​​​​ no, but i still can see THAT What was the first​ thing​ you did this morni​ng?​​​​ wish I could go back to sleep Do you think​ you’l​l be marri​ed in 10 years​?​​​​​ yes... Where​ were you at 9 pm frida​y night​ and with who?​​​​​ probably at home Do you know anyon​e with the same name as you? yes.... Have you ever cried​ and didn'​t know why? nope. i generally know why Do you have any plans​ for tomor​row?​ blergh. Yes. errands Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e who'​s name start​ed with a B, or A? unfortenately yes, yes i have How old do you think​ you will be when you final​ly have child​ren?​ I was 30 What made you happy​ today​?​ kiddos What are you think​ing about​ right​ now? sleeping Do you like count​ry music​?​ does old town road count? What are you looki​ng forwa​rd to in the next coupl​e of month​s?​ dunno Do you do your own laund​ry?​ yes Is your hair curly​?​ wavy a bit Are you cheat​ing on someo​ne right​ now? -.-* no Have you ever gone to a party​ where​ you were the only sober​ one? yup Do you strai​ghten​ your hair often​?​ Don't have to. Who was the last perso​n to smoke​ a cigar​ette in your prese​nce?​ coworker Do you wear a ring on your finge​r?​ no. none of mine fit anymore TToTT Who was the last perso​n you had a phone​ conve​rsati​on with for more than 2 minutes? Huh? If myspa​ce made you pay would​ you still​ use it? Hells no. Is there​ someo​ne who meant​ a lot to you at one point​ and isn'​t aroun​d?​ *dripping the resentment* yes Will tomor​row be bette​r than today​?​ hope so Do you hones​tly belie​ve that good thing​s come to those​ who wait?​ i don't believe it in , but it happens anyway Do you belie​ve in love at first​ sight​?​ sorta What catch​es your eye more?​ Eyes or smile​?​ whole package Do you think​ the last perso​n you kisse​d cares​ for you? hai <3<3<3 Are you weari​ng somet​hing you borro​wed from someo​ne?​ currently no What time did you go to sleep​ last night​?​ 11ish Who'​s someo​ne you can alway​s count​ on? myself Who'​s the last perso​n to text you? hubby What are you two talki​ng about​?​ life Are you seein​g anyon​e?​ hubby Who was the last perso​n to piss you off? hubby Anyon​es birth​day comin​g up? hubbys Who is one perso​n you want back in your life?​ uh...plead the 5th Do you like where​ you go to schoo​l?​ done with school Where​ were you last night​?​ work, then home

What will you be doing​ in the next 2 hours​?​ napping Who were you datin​g aroun​d Sprin​g last year?​ no one. I be married Do you want any tatto​os or pierc​ings?​ yes please What'​s the one thing​ you would​ be doing​ if it wasn'​t Winte​r?​ wishing it was winter? What was the last alcoh​olic bever​age you consu​med?​ no idea Are you singl​e?​ nope How did you feel when you woke up today​?​ why Are you a jealo​us perso​n?​ yes. Just like god Where​ were you at 2:​02am?​ in a blissful coma Did you hold hands​ with anyon​e today​?​ not yet How has the week been?​ interesting Could​ you go the rest of your life witho​ut drink​ing alcoh​ol?​ yup Where​ were you at 9am this morni​ng?​ getting breakfast for the kiddos Whats​ your natur​al hair and eye color​?​ ice blue eyes, dark brown hair What was the last song you liste​ned to? Something on the radio Do you think​ two peopl​e can last forev​er?​ ask me again at forever When is your birth​day?​ day before april fools Can you do split​s?​ XD no! Who did you last shoot​ a dirty​ look at? customers What is in your pocke​t?​ hankie ​ Where​ did you buy the shirt​ you'​re weari​ng now? store Do you have any tan lines​?​ i ish a vampire and NO i do NOT sparkle! Do you remem​ber the name of your kinde​rgart​en teach​er?​ nope Last time you cried​?​ what day is today Are you weari​ng makeu​p at the momen​t?​ Nope. What do you reall​y think​ of Starb​ucks Coffe​e?​ nice store, keep your coffee gimme the hot chocolate Do you have a camer​a?​ no Are there​ certa​in thing​s that can'​t be joked​ about​?​ yes Is the last perso​n you kisse​d your ex? no Are you happy​ with where​ you are relat​ionsh​ip-​wise now ? er...so so Are your paren​ts still​ toget​her?​ No, lol. Are you cold right​ now? no Can you crack​ your knuck​les?​ nope Would​ you go in publi​c looki​ng like you do right​ now? nope. Have you ever liked​ someo​ne that you knew you shoul​dn'​t have?​ yea, and now i know better When was the last time you had your hair cut? *shrugs* Does your head hurt?​ on a daily basis Is there​ anyon​e you would​ like to get thing​s strai​ght with?​ yes, but sadly hell is going to freeze over first Do you still​ talk to the perso​n who hurt you the most?​ yes and no

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?  first prom date? i only went once and no i did not have a date and yes it sux'd 2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?  no 3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?  red headed slut - it was awful 9X 4. What was your FIRST job?  receptionist... 5. What was your FIRST car?  Lil’ black car 6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?  hubby 7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?  youngest 9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?  New York

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?  youngest 14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?  Wish youngest would go back to sleep. Too early 15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?  3DD concert 16. FIRST tattoo?  no tattoos, just scars 17. FIRST piercing?  ears 18. FIRST foreign country you've been to?  canada 19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?  uh...bambi? 20. When was your FIRST detention?  detention? fsk that shit, i was a good kid. i never got caught 21. What was the FIRST state you lived in?  denial 22. Who was your FIRST roommate?  my lil' brother

[littlesadschoolgirl]

Wanting more that ever what i know i can’t have

It’s Saturday witch I guess is a good thing well at least it used to be before I got my dreaded assignment. So far, I haven’t done any today and I don’t really plan to. I mean I have tomorrow right? And it’s just a draft. No matter what I do I’m going to get a shitty grade. The last two terms I actually really tried and I still got a c-. I guess I just suck at all religion assessment.

Anyway, enough of that. Yesterday I had an okish day at Tafe I mean it’s wasn’t the best time I’ve had there, but it was amazing in comparison to school. The reason it wasn’t as good as it could have been was based on a few different factors one being that I wasn’t too proud of the outfit I had selected while still being half asleep. I just wore jeans and a white long-sleeved top so yeah not the cutest fashion option. My head was also pounding for the entire day so that didn’t exactly help. I didn’t really talk to my ‘’Tafe friends’’ much as I was to tired to think of conversation ideas. So yeah it was kind of a bland day.

Today I finished a really good book called PS I like you. It’s has such a cute story-line I felt giddy just listening to it. I’m am so jealous of the main character. It’s a romance novel if you haven’t already guessed.

romance is my favorite genre by far, probably because my own life doesn’t include anything the slightest bit romantic. I feel like my purpose in life is to fall in love and be a lover. Well at least that what I want it to be. Every day pretty much all day long I’m just thinking about the future and how maybe I’ll finally fall in love it’s what keeps me going.

To me love is the most exciting thing one can ever experience. It’s a feeling better than any other especially when you add attraction into the mix. Just picturing myself being kissed by a boy makes me feel extremely excited I can’t even imagen how it would feel to actually be kissed. For me It’s more about the feeling you get when kissing someone not the actual contact of lips as per such. Not that I’d know.

Like how are people that are in love not jumping up and down with pure joy. Maybe my expectations are just too high or maybe love is just something I would appreciate more than other people. I defiantly wouldn’t take it for granted I mean it’s practically what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. I have never wanted something as much as I want love and trust me there is a lot of things I want. I guess I’m just a hopeless romantic.

It sucks major dick that while everyone around me is carelessly slipping in and out of relationships I’m hear having to wait my ass off. Something that deeply saddens me is the fact I probably won’t find somebody until I’m like 20. There for I will miss out entirely on the experience of young love. When you’re a teenager the feelings of love and attraction are far more intense I guess I’ll never get that. It’s also kind of sad that I will most likely never be someone’s first kiss, as they will have already done it.

It seems so easy for other girls they just trip into relationships just like that. Love just comes to them they don’t have to go searching or try to look approachable they have boys flirting with them all the time. I wish boys could flirt with me or even at the least talk to me. But the reality is they don’t they just don’t, I will miss out on young love I will dance alone at prom/formal I won’t get a cute boyfriend or a sweet crush to fanaticise over because of who I am and what I’ve done. I’m not that girl boys like or even talk to, I’m just a cringe nobody.

People don’t love me, people don’t like me, people don’t dislike me, people don’t hate me.

People just don’t care about me and that’s just how it is.  

[adventures-in-destroying-a-body]

I can feel definite signs of my fast decent. Every time I stand up my heart flutters and I had tunnel vision and my ears rang. I thought I was going down a few times. I also haven't peed in like 3 days. I feel okish aside from the almost fainting. I have a bit of energy and I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO HUNGER PAINS!! I think this is a major accomplishment I haven't really even thought of food today at all. I even had pancakes shoved in my face and fussed at about not eating and then left on the table that I was working at. I simply completed what I was doing, put my things away, and got up and left. It didn't really even bother me. I feel like I'm finally on the right track. I feel in control.

[waytoomuchtolove-blog]

Continue to feel alone wth everything..just feel so sad..low...like there is no point ..I spoke to one of my friend online..I want to recover..but the same time im so scared and i dont think i can do this alone. I miss people who understand..I'm pretending im fine, i smile, i laugh.. im making others feel better... For once i would like someone to listen to me. Food wise i did okish, I have restricted quite a lot today..not sure why...just felt huge and didnt want to purge after eating. What i see when i look at the mirror...sometimes i see the biggest failure ever ...not me as fat..yes i have fat legs and belly and my arms are big ...but sometimes i can see horrible old woman who destroying her life to anorexia. Seems like i cant get rid of this illness.. and i know i never will... Is it ok to live with anorexia...

[thelifeoflorna]

~3/10/2020~ This photo wad actually from today for once ^^ 🤍 I didn't sleep brilliantly, but could have been worse. I was okish in the morning. I like being in my room at parentals working away on things at my desk. Been working on my bullet journal a lot and also some psychology notes 🤍 We had family over from midday. I managed a couple of hours talking to them in the living room while colouring my bullet journal (felt pleased with being able to manage that) then retreated to my room. Throughout the day this ball of anxiety inside me began to grow - I haven't been on very good form with my MH for quite some time and today is a day where I'm feeling so fed up with mental illness. And (tw) the stress is affecting my physical health - struggling to eat and haven't brought my supplement drinks with me. I went out for a long walk along the beach where I took this picture of the clouds. I basically cried the whole time and haven't really stopped - I feel so depressed and I don't know why I feel this bad 😭💔 I think some of it is feeling like I have nothing to look forwards to because of the continuation of the covid situation. Also the struggle always tends to hit me after the event - in the moment I have no choice but to cope, then now A is back, the reality is hitting me that for the past 4 weeks I've only had an average of 4/20 hours of the care I need per week and the impact it's had. I think what's also coming up is that by someone telling me that I need to have that difficult conversation with my second PA, it's like someone pointing out to me that I've been taken advantage of, but didn't realise, probably because of my vulnerability, but it makes me feel weak because I feel like as an adult, I shouldn't have let that happen - brings up feelings around past trauma 😢 I just want life to feel better than this... 🦄 (at Littlehampton Sea Front) https://www.instagram.com/p/CF47VZzJyv-5jf62O5wjt0b3V5PsvfhaE9iUDU0/?igshid=g7adsdz0zlhf

[thelifeoflorna]

~29/8/2020~ This was the little canvas I painted for A's birthday - the silhouettes are of her two horses - one of them had to be pts a few weeks ago 😥💜 🦄 Not a lot to report today other than being a bit fed up with feeling underlyingly crap in mood, and just generally 🙁 I've done lots of psychology notes 🤍 I went for a trip out and a walk 🤍 I went on another walk later on 🤍 I'm functioning but there's this heavy, agitated feeling in the background, which I just wish would go away. I feel like I've got back on track with food, but it's a real struggle as just don't seem to be enjoying food at the moment so it's a real effort 🙈😥 I'm okish, just want to feel a bit better... 🦄 #instadaily #instablog #update #mentalhealth #dissociativeidentitydisorder #cptsd #autism #traumarecovery #edrecovery #anxiety #chronicillness #disability #pots #potsie #dysautonomia #positivevibes #recovery #painting #canvas #galaxy #horses #horselove #positivequote #space #art #artistoninstagram #depression #artistofinstagram #arttherapy https://www.instagram.com/p/CEfDGgJJDRatroujBMOBEsFjrZRMJ76ciav_j40/?igshid=4czsb7zcgzbe