#I’m forcing everyone to make Mobius strips

[demonicseries]

Giving a presentation on Möbius Pegged for my sculpture class tomorrow

[thepartyresponsible]

For the mash-up, 60 and 79, Jason Todd/Steve Rogers?

so that's: 60. poorly timed confession, 79. anger born of worry.

bats don't confess to anything, but jason gives away a secret or two.

here's a few moody words from this universe.

—

Rumlow claps him on the back, laughs low and incredulous. “Goddamn, Rogers,” he says. “I can’t believe you pulled that off.”

Jason doesn’t say anything. Not to Steve. He sheds body armor and equipment as he jogs onto the quinjet, throwing his helmet against the side of the jet so hard that it leaves a visible dent in its wake. Rumlow laughs again, half-smothered, rubbing the back of his bloody glove against his mouth as he watches Jason stalk up to the front to start terrorizing the pilots. “Someone’s pissy,” he mutters.

Steve does his best to pretend Rumlow isn’t there at all.

When Jason finishes putting the fear of every god in human history into the pilots, he swings around and levels a look at Steve like he’s going to spit venom in his eyes the second he unhinges his jaw.

Steve catches the flash of Rumlow’s teeth as he leans forward, one arm wrapping around Steve’s shoulders. “Jealous, Todd?”

“Disappointed,” Jason says, and Steve doesn’t even recognize that voice. “You know I love a military funeral.”

Rumlow hisses air over his teeth, smiles wider. His hand tightens around Steve’s shoulder, maybe in sympathy for the way every muscle in Steve’s chest just went taut.

“Sorry I let you down,” Steve says.

Jason’s hands flex and release like they’re desperate for another helmet to throw. “Yeah,” he says. “I’m sure you’re real sorry that you’re still around for the consequences this time.”

—

They get through debrief and medical and cleanup in tense, uncharacteristically professional silence. Steve’s out of the shower and toweling his hair, annoyed by the fresh smears of red from the cuts on the back of his head, when Jason comes silently up beside him and yanks the towel out of his hands.

“What’re you--”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jason says. He curls his hand around the back of Steve’s neck and tugs, bending Steve’s head forward.

Steve’s an inch, maybe an inch and a half taller. It almost never matters. Jason carries himself like he’s exactly as tall as he needs to be.

“Jason,” Steve says, shifting awkwardly, bent forward, blinded by the towel Jason’s pressing against the back of his head. “What the hell are you--”

“You can’t be trusted to look after yourself,” Jason tells him.

Two weeks ago, Steve found Jason on the rooftop, smoking with two bruised ribs, one arm curled tight around his side. He’d laughed at Steve’s fussing, smiled sweetly up at him, and said, C’mon, Cap. Aren’t we all just picking how we get hurt?

“You’re one to talk,” Steve says, instead of keeping his mouth shut and letting Jason work through whatever this is.

He hears Jason breathe in, a deep steadying inhale that nonetheless ends with a hiss as Jason bodily shoves Steve up against the wall.

He keeps that towel pressed to the back of Steve’s head though. So there’s the towel and Jason’s hand between Steve’s head and the wall, and Jason’s pressed against him from belly to knee, face inches away from Steve’s.

All that bared skin, those beautiful eyes, and Steve can’t stop staring at the autopsy scar bisecting his chest.

Steve has a towel wrapped around his hips, and Jason’s in those boxer briefs he seems to exclusively collect in various shades of red, and this should feel some kind of dangerous, but there’s a desperate look in Jason’s eyes that just makes him feel sad. And guilty.

“Look,” he says. “There wasn’t time to wait for backup. If I hadn’t moved--”

“I know,” Jason says, short. Angry. Sharp and skeptical like he thinks Steve’s confusing the point, trying to have a whole separate argument.

Steve breathes out. Jason’s jaw is locked, his mouth twisted into an ugly, angry line. But his hand is careful on the back of Steve’s head, trying to hold Steve’s blood inside him through sheer force of will.

“That’s our job, Jason. We save lives.”

Jason laughs. It’s one of those strange, eerie laughs that doesn’t sound anything like him, some stuttery cackle he’s borrowed from someone Steve’s never met and violently hates.

“Fuck you, Steve,” he says. “Like it’s that easy. Acceptable loss, huh? You, for one civilian too panicked to run? What about all the other kids who’re gonna need you? What about everyone else? What about you?”

“What about me?” Because that’s what this is about. It is, somehow, about him.

Jason’s hand tightens on the back of his head. It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t seem like he means for it to. Mostly it seems like he doesn’t know he’s doing it. “Come on, Steve. You know just as well as I do.”

He tips his head forward until their foreheads are resting together, stares into Steve’s eyes like he’s trying to see clear through to the back of them.

Steve can feel his breath on his face. His mouth is an inch, maybe two, away from Steve’s. “I know what?”

This close, Jason’s smile is just a shift, the idea of movement in Steve’s peripheral vision. Steve can’t look away from his eyes. “What happens when you die,” Jason says. And then, a beat later, he says it again. A question this time. “What happens when you die, Steve?”

Steve closes his eyes. Jason’s everywhere, pressing him against the wall, holding his head, their foreheads together. He can feel the raised edges of Jason’s scar against his chest.

What happens when you die?

Salt and pressure and darkness, water in his mouth, in his nose, in his lungs. Cold and getting colder and his body flailing, reaching. Blind and starved for air.

What happens when you die?

“Nothing,” Jason says, for him.

Nothing.

Steve opens his eyes. Jason’s staring at him, and the rage is gone, hollowed out. Drowned beneath the weight.

What happens when you die is you wake up in a world you don’t know. You wake up alone. You wake up, and the world you died for died with you, and strangers put you back in your old uniform, and they send you out to do it again.

Jason introduced himself as the other dead guy. Maybe the only thing lonelier than their little club is the fact that, someday, there will be only one dead guy left walking.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, because he is. For happened to him, for what almost happened today, for what’s going to happen one of them eventually.

“Don’t you fucking leave me here, Rogers,” Jason says.

Here, in this world that isn’t theirs. Here, where everyone needs them and nobody knows them. Here, where they’re still stuck on the same track that got them killed, like their future is just a mobius strip that loops back around to their past.

No way out except the one they’ve already tried.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, again.

Jason breathes out, shakey. He closes his eyes. There’s a small, hurt noise in the back of his throat, and then he’s kissing him, desperate, intense.

Steve kisses him back, somehow just as desperate. His hands drop to Jason’s hips, and he pulls him in. Scar tissues presses into Steve’s chest, right over his heart, and Steve holds him as close as he can.

While he’s here. While they’re both here.

For however long they have this time.

[fortune-fool02]

Uncertainty

Loki Laufeyson x TVA female reader

Summary: Loki had said something to Mobius, and he also told [Name]. That something had been floating around in her mind, and she wasn’t sure what to think of it. 

Warning: Spoilers for Episode 3 and 4, light angst

I won’t lie, I was part way through episode four when this idea hit me. Please heed the warning above as it does contain a lot of spoilers! 

Please enjoy. 

If there was one single thing that [Name] had learnt in this little case, it was this: 

You can not trust a Loki. 

The more she looked back on it now, the more of a fool she felt herself to be. The man was a snake with more venom and hollow words, and half-truths that could sharpen even his silver-tongue. And she was foolish enough to listen, to almost believe him. Foolish enough to trust him. And that trust had caused a ripple effect in the Sacred Timeline, nexus events branching off, growing into their own little worlds of ‘what-ifs’ and ‘maybe-ifs’ and the guilt of watching those branches grow weighed down on her shoulders for having him escape with the variant. 

It had taken a while for the two Lokis to be brought into the custody of the TVA, as they should have been from the very beginning, and it costed them a good worker. C-20. Driven mad by the enchanting bewitchment forced upon her by the female variant before resulting in her death. Something that could, no, should have been prevented. 

The pen left [Name]’s hand with a little more force than necessary, almost slamming it down rather than setting it. Heavy irritation coursing through her veins like blood, seeping into every single muscle of her body and running along every bone in her body; followed by a gnawing sensation, blunt teeth gnashing at her muscle and skin but not breaking it. The time they had spent together, the moments they would share in the library, at her desk, it felt....genuine to her. Perhaps it was nothing but an illusion he casted, toying with her with his words, pulling her strings like a puppet. And he did not even need powers to be able to do so. 

Sighing, she dumped the report down and rested her head on folded arms upon the table, attempting to gain a sense of control of these emotions. A warm hand fell upon her shoulder, gentle and concern. 

“You alright, kid?” Mobius spoke, his voice equally soft. He always referred to her as kid, his little nickname for her, then again the man was her mentor in a way. He always watched over her. Sitting up, she sighed and nodded. 

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” The [Hair colour] woman spoke, straightening herself and dusting herself down before finishing the report, trying to regain her focus. Though Mobius saw right through this like he was looking through clear glass on a bright day. All he did was give her a look and she crumbled. “I....I thought....I thought that Loki was different.” She admitted, in her time here, she had never once lied to Mobius. She had no reason to. 

He took a seat beside her and nodded as she spoke, a look of sympathy and understanding on his face. “Yeah. I know. I thought that too.”  He said, “I guess we were both....fooled.” [Name] leaned back on her seat, letting her head lean back until she could see the glaring light above her, and even then she tried her best not to shy away from its light. 

“Can I tell you something?” He asked, turning the light off above her to prevent her from damaging her [Eye colour] eyes. Said eyes thankful that the burning sting was now fading as the blotches of blurring colours faded from her vision. “Something that....Loki told me?” She sat upright and looked at him, waiting. 

“He told me that the TVA are lying to us all. Do you have any idea what that means?” He questioned her and she shook her head. Was this just another half-truth? A delusional lie twisted to make him look the victim somehow? Mobius left some time after that but it still lingered around in her mind, like the annoying buzz of a fly in a silent room. An irritating buzzing that continued to persist her until she rose from her chair and went off, slipping through the corridors and avoiding guards to reach the containment cell Loki was sealed in. A time-loop. 

Her presence, in a way, paused the time-loop, allowing them to talk without disruption. Loki was hunched over on the ground, clasping his lower region from the repeated kicks he has received.

“Oh, I know I’m pathetic, and I deserve to be alo-” he was cut off as his eyes landed on [Name] instead of Sif for the seventh or eighth time. “[Name]?” She ignored his tone and approached. 

“You told Mobius something. T-That the TVA are lying to us, what the Hell did you mean by that?” There was this underlying tone in her voice that Loki had not heard before. Demanding. Ordering. Her tone, her voice, was always so softly spoken, so gentle and warm. 

“The TVA, they are lying to you, [Name]. They-” His words were cut off by her, 

“Wait, how the Hell can I even trust a damn word out your mouth?” The sharpness of her words sparked, metal scraping against metal. “From the very moment you got here, you did nothing but lie to me. You said that everyone around you were nothing but pawns, how am I any different?” Now she was here, she realised how stupid this was. Why did she think this would even work? 

“No, wait, [Name]! I’m not lying, I never once lied to you.” He called out, pushing himself to his feet as he approached. She needed to know. “Just, just hear me out, please. The TVA, the Time-Keepers, all of it is wrong. You, all of you here, you’re all variants.” 

The expression that drained her face stole all colour from it also, the way her eyes widened lightly, the look in them, he never wanted to see such a distraught expression on her face again. “The Time-Keepers took you all, and they erased your memories. You came from Midgard, from Earth. Silvia can access those memories through her enchantment.”

[Name] only stared at him, he moved closer, slowly bringing his hands to cup her face. “[Name], please. You have to believe me on this. Please.” He wanted nothing more than for her to believe him, to trust his words. During his time on the run, she was on his mind throughout it all. One of the two TVA members who trusted him, cared for him. And now he was at risk of losing her. He didn’t want that. He did not want to lose another thing. He already lost his timeline, his family, everything. 

“I was stolen? But I’ve been here since I was created. I don’t have a-” 

“That’s the thing. They kidnapped you, they wiped all your memories, you were not created here, you are human. You have a life on Earth, not here.” He could see the confusion swirling in her eyes, a figure wandering aimlessly through thick fog, attempting to find her way through the mist but to no avail. Trying to discover previous paintings on a canvas wiped clean. She looked so lost. So scared and confused. 

He pulled her closer, holding her, and now feeling the light tremble in her form. She simply leant forward, resting her head on his shoulder, her mind still processing all of this. After all this time, after everything she had been told and done, she was a variant. Just like the ones they had captured and reset. The ones they pruned. Killed. 

She was one of them. 

Her arms moved, holding onto him for fear that she will be swallowed by the ground, feeling weak as if all energy had been stripped from her body. He kept his hold on her, secure and safe, protective almost. 

“How can I trust you?” She asked, the tremble in her body also carried in her words. 

“You are going to have to.” 

[kiki-shortsnout]

21. Listening to someone's heartbeat? From the intimacy prompts, With Loki/Tony, please? 💜

I could've written a whole story with this prompt! As it is I struggled to keep this near 2,000 words! Thank you for the prompt!

~~~~

Where is this place? What is this place? Loki asked himself for about the millionth time, glancing around the room and trying not to fidget on the hard-backed chair he was sat on. He stretched his neck from side to side, trying to relieve the irritating itch he felt from the collar chafing his neck.

He’d suffered through worse. He could endure this.

‘If looks could kill,’ Mobius mocked.

‘What do you want from me?’

‘Well, let’s start with a little cooperation.’

This man knew nothing about him, and Loki had already formulated a plan about how he was going to escape from here, possibly killing him in the process. However, that plan began to unravel the more they spoke, this TVA agent able to strip back every façade, every mask that Loki had constructed around himself.

Only one other person had been able to do that, strip Loki bare and see his vulnerable, true self beneath.

And that man was currently shining on the wall that was playing the movie of Loki’s life.

Loki didn’t react at seeing Anthony again, didn’t give away what they were to each other, feeling himself seethe as an image of them kissing after a battle was revealed.

His greatest secret.

‘A secret Avenger lover! How did you guys manage to hide that? I don’t know which is worse, a hero falling in love with the bad guy who murdered his people…’

Loki clenched his teeth, refusing to speak. It was no one’s business about how he and Anthony had gotten together, what drew them together in the first place. He knew what Mobius was trying to do, but it wasn’t going to work. He was going to escape, find the Tesseract, and convince Anthony for once and for all that they needed to leave their worlds behind.

‘Or the man who fell in love with the enemy, giving up his mission for glorious purpose because of a pair of pretty doe eyes.’

Pushing himself up and away from his chair, Loki paced the room, mind trying to think of a way out of this, to protect Anthony, find a way back to him while eliminating whatever threat this was to them both. If the TVA knew about the relationship, something Anthony had taken great pains to hide, then Loki needed to eliminate this threat.

‘What exactly is it that you want?’

‘I want you to be honest about why you do what you do,’ Mobius answered, still calm despite Loki’s growing agitation.

‘Liar!’ Loki called him out.

Even as Mobius gave a passionate speech back, something about wanting to understand him, Loki paid him no attention, gazing at the hideous orange panels on the wall, feeling the squeeze of the collar on his neck.

‘What makes Loki tick?’

The man reached out and tapped the orange ball on his desk, revealing more moments of Loki’s life, the invasion of New York, his shame, his weakness that he’d nearly harmed the one he…cared about in some misguided quest for glory, his true intentions warped by the Scepter.

He needed to get back to Anthony, to explain it hadn’t been him, that he had been beholden to some trick.

That he wasn’t the monster Anthony had needed to stop, led away by Thor in chains and a muzzle until an opportunity presented itself. Loki was forced to witness his shame again from an outsider’s perspective, the haze of blue in his eyes as he’d forced the Midgardians to bow before him.

Had Anthony known that wasn’t him, that he had been controlled? Why hadn’t Thor seen it?

‘I was... I am on the verge of acquiring everything I am owed, and when I do, it'll be because I did it. Not because it was supposed to happen, or because you or the Time Variance Authority, or whatever it is you call yourselves, allowed me to.’

That wasn’t quite the truth, what Loki truly wanted mingling with the aftereffects of the Mind Stone’s influence, his impatience to get back to Anthony and set things right overriding his rational mind.

Please don’t allow this to change your feelings for me. Please, beloved, please realize it was not me who acted.

‘Honestly, you're pathetic.’ Who was Loki speaking to, the TVA agent before him, or himself?

‘You're an irrelevance. A detour. A footnote to my ascent."

‘If you hadn't picked up the Tesseract, you would've been taken to a cell on Asgard.’

What sorcery is this?

‘What is this? This is nonsense, more tricks. This never even happened.’

‘Not to you, not yet. Look, the TVA doesn't just know your whole past, we know your whole life, how it's all meant to be. Think of it as comforting.’

All his thoughts, his arrogance, his plotting fled as he watched his mother die. For the first time in his life, he was speechless, his desperation making him babble.

‘Where is she?’

‘You lead them right to her,’ the man said, a hint of sympathy in his voice.

‘I don’t believe you. You’re lying. It’s not true.’

He couldn’t be responsible. This was a trick, it had to be a trick.

‘It is true. That's the proper flow of time and it happens again and again and again because it's supposed to, because it has to. The TVA makes sure of it.’

‘Where is she?’ Loki demanded.

What if they have Anthony locked up in his place too? What tricks are they playing on him?

‘Now why don't you tell me, do you enjoy hurting people?’ The man asked again, his voice increasing in volume, making Loki feel as though his chest was being squeezed with overwhelming pressure.

‘I don’t believe you,’ Loki paced in agitation.

‘Do you enjoy killing?’

‘I'll kill you,’ the words were hollow, and they both knew it.

‘Like you did your mother? Like how you attempted to kill Thanos and left your lover alone to sacrifice himself?’

His rage that had been steadily building the whole conversation suddenly dissipated, leaving him lightheaded at the swing between the two emotions, a cold fear now scrabbling up his throat, chasing away the burn of his anger.

‘What happened to Anthony?’

‘Who?’

‘Anthony! Tony Stark! What happens to him?’

‘Does it matter? I mean I know he was your secret lover, but he was an Avenger, an obstacle in your-’

‘Tell me!’ Loki screamed, feeling the furious tears burning his eyes, the onslaught of his emotions frightening him.

He’d shown his hand, exposed his feelings for the two he cherished. Loki had known this would happen, that emotions would make him fragile, defenseless. Now he had no way of saving either and had given the TVA what they needed to blackmail him.

‘You care for him that much?’ All the bluster and posturing from Mobius was gone, a genuine curiosity in his face as he watched Loki.

‘I love him,’ Loki admitted, words he’d never uttered to anyone, not even Anthony. ‘Please, I know you have no reason to trust me, that I’m everything you say I am, but please, let me see what happens to him.’

Sighing, Mobius reached into his pocket and pulled out a separate tape, revealing he held it all along. ‘Here…he was a great man, your Tony Stark. I’ve watched how you interact with everyone around you, your enemies, and the ones you pretended not to care for… it was hard not to be moved by Tony Stark.’

Loki wasn’t listening, trying to fumble with the machine, almost snapping his teeth at Mobius when he reached over to take the recording from him and set it up in the machine. He watched the film, waiting for the moment where Anthony’s life had twinned with his own, when Thor had first been banished and Loki had faced the man of iron for the first time.

Their secret meetings Loki initiated because he’d been intrigued by this morally gray Midgardian, their first kiss, their first tumble into bed. Loki treasured those moments, and now they felt tainted with Mobius’s scrutiny, his gaze leaving grubby fingerprints over their memories.

There were other moments, a future Loki still had to discover. The moment Loki finally confessed his feelings, the heartbreak of betrayal Anthony felt from Captain America (Loki threw the chair across the room at that). He watched as the Hulk creature passed on news of Loki’s death, the way Anthony’s sorrow hardened and was reborn as fury, the catalyst for why he launched himself into space after Thanos’s minions.

And then the end, the blaze of glory, standing alone and proud against the Titan, his beautiful mind destroyed under the effects of the Infinity Stones. Loki couldn’t breathe, his chest trying to move in short sharp pants, his teeth gritted against the pain.

No. Not like this.

He couldn’t see past the agony, couldn’t keep his heart beating with the vile poison of the truth. He could feel a hand on his back, a voice trying to call to him.

‘Please, let me go to him,’

‘Loki, I can’t-’

‘Please. You’ve brought me here for a reason. Whatever it is you want from me, I’ll do it without question. I won’t escape. I won’t betray you, whatever it is you want, but please…’ Loki trailed off, unable to speak past the emotions webbing in his throat.

‘In all my studies of you, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you beg, not sincerely anyway.’

‘You know my…my love for him to be true, that I would not jest about this. Please, Mobius, you have my word, my vow, just please… let me see him.’

‘Ten minutes, that’s all you get. No messing around with the timeline, no giving cryptic warnings. You do anything to divert the timeline Stark is in and I’ll send in a team to prune him and the branch you’ve created, understand?’

Loki didn’t know what pruning meant, but he made an educated guess it had to do with those glow sticks the TVA agents wore and the way they disintegrated the people they stabbed them with.

Nodding, he offered up his hands in a silent plea, sniffing back the tears. Mobius reached out to clasp his hands for a moment, before pointing towards a glowing doorway in the room.

‘Ten minutes and then I’m pulling you out.’

Anthony was asleep in his bed when Loki stepped through, and he rushed over to his bedside, crashing down to his knees as a wounded sound spilt from his lips.

‘You foolish, idiotic mortal, what were you thinking!’ he hissed, the words barely forming sound, not wanting to wake Anthony up or inadvertently cause his destruction. ‘I knew your self-righteousness would be the end of you, that you’d sacrifice yourself in some heroic deed.’ Loki brushed Anthony’s bangs back, leaning forward to press their foreheads together, trying to keep his tears at bay.

He glanced around the room, recognizing it as Anthony’s house in Malibu, no sight of the Avenger Tower. This had to be before New York, before his carnage of Anthony’s homeworld.

‘Lo?’ Anthony suddenly whispered, voice thick with sleep, hands sliding from the bed covers to reach for him. ‘You said…busy…’ he yawned, not entirely awake.

‘I know, dear one, but I made time.’ Loki slid into the bed beside him, taking care to rearrange himself so he could curl around Anthony, protecting him while trying to keep him asleep. He rested his ear directly over the arc reactor, his hand on Anthony’s chest. He could hear the thrum of energy beneath his ear, felt reassured by its continuous sound, knowing it was keeping his mortal alive.

He could feel Anthony’s heartbeat under his palm, never as strong as he liked it, but reassuring enough that Tony was here and alive.

‘I’m sorry. By the Norns, Anthony I am sorry.’

Anthony shifted in his sleep, hugging Loki close and kissing the top of his head.

‘Bad dream, honey?’ he whispered, still sleepy, but trying to comfort him.

‘Something like that. Go back to sleep, darling,’ Loki soothed, hiding the pain in his voice.

He knew what he’d promised Mobius, and his promise to help him stood, but Loki knew he’d twist the intentions of his help to suit his own purposes. He’d find a way to meet these Time-Keepers and bend them to his will. He wasn’t going to lose Anthony to Thanos, would save him from his fate and be together like they deserved.

For now, Loki focused on the sound of his heartbeat, the reassurance he was alive, committing the sound to memory for the next eight minutes.

[9worldstales]

MCU Loki Ep 4 “Nexus Event” intensive analysis

Okay, new episode which is, thankfully, kind of better than the previous. But let’s start with order.

So we’ll start with Asgard, only we aren’t told it’s Asgard nor in which year we are. I hope the fact we aren’t told the year is meaningful, because otherwise it’s just lazy.

We see a child Sylvie playing with toy dragon and toy Valkyrie when Renslayer, at the time a young hunter and other hunters get there to capture her. We don’t know what little Sylvie did wrong. As far as we know she had no magic so, unless she actually did have magic and her adult version didn’t know, it’s not like she was a male Loki who shapeshift into a female so this can be her Nexus event.

She’s just a child playing.

Whatever, Renslayer and the others didn’t care she’s a child, they decide she’s the Variant they were hunting, grabs her and take her away.

At the TVA Renslayer holds her for her arm in what should be an uncomfortable grip for poor Sylvie and doesn’t even look at her or tries to reassure her in any way.

I remember, when we saw all this being done to Loki, wondering if the series would dig into police brutality. Sylvie sees a man getting dragged in, she’s scare she asks for someone to help the man, no one cares. She goes through the same routine Loki went through at the TVA. Mercifully we don’t see her being left naked but we see her being forced to wear the TVA prison uniform for Variants.

For all the people who though what Loki went through was funny and the TVA was justified in doing it, now I want you to look well at what they’re doing at this poor child. It’s the same thing. Is it still funny? Do they still lokk like the good guys.

She’s scared and, as far as she know, she did nothing wrong and, despite her young age, no one is showing her any sympathy.

She’s guilty of the same crime Loki committed, ‘crimes against the Sacred Timeline’. She’s handled the same. If you justified or excused or agreed with what was done to Loki for ‘crimes against the Sacred Timeline’, you were agreeing to what is happening to her now.

Being stripped of her rights, handled like an object for a crime she had no intention or idea she had committed because it was made up by some unknown authority.

Once in front of the judge Sylvie manages to escape to Renslayer’s grip and steal her tempad.

Now, I can excuse the escaping and also the stealing. Maybe Renslayer is inexperienced and maybe she didn’t expect dangers from such a young child but how did she figured she has to steal the tempad and how to use it?

Up till now how Renslayer has used the Tempad for was to recognize her as the Variant they were searching for. She shouldn’t know it’s the Tempad which opens the Timedoors or how to work it. Sure, we can assume it’s really easy to use it but it  still makes no sense she knows she has to use it to open the timedoors.

Whatever, Renslayer remains frozen on the spot when little Sylvie escapes and I can wonder if she felt a bit of sympathy for her… only the scene is kinda weird because she looked angry and ready to strike when the Sylvie stomped on her feet so this sudden sympathy when she’s about to escape is out of place. They just stare at each other, NO ONE making an attempt to grab Sylvie before Sylvie escape through the timedoor which, differently from how it had done with Loki in Episode 2, immediately close behind her.

The scene switches to Renslayer who has her eyes closed as if this was her memory.

She then opens them and enter through a golden door, supposedly going to see the Time-Keepers.

We get a glimpse to the Time-Keepers and then the title.

In the next scene the door opens and Renslayer marches out of it, Mobius confirming she went to see the Time-Keepers. He asks her how she feels and she says she’s not well because she had to meet the Time-Keepers in a bad situation and it’s stressing enough to meet them when everything goes well so this is really terrible.

Now… I don’t know. Later in the episode it’ll turn out the Time-Keepers are fake so… didn’t she know? Is she pretending to be stressed for Mobius’ benefit?

She says the Time-Keepers are blaming her for the situation and for how Sylvie and Loki escaped. She doesn’t mention Loki tried to stop Sylvie from meeting the Time-Keepers.

In short although Loki tried to stop Sylvie and used the Tempad to escape only when Renslayer tried to kill them both,  through the whole episode they’ll handle him as if he tried to escape with her or worse help her to kill the Time-Keepers.

Renslayers remarks how

The Time-Keepers are all that stand between us and full-scale calamity.

…basically fuelling their own Time-Keepers cult.

Mobius though is more interested in talking with C-20 but Renslayer, with a tragic performance, tells him she’s dead because when she was enchanted this scrambled her mind and basically she began to decline till death. Tissues anyone?

Even Mobius feels a slight scent of b*llsh*t at this story since C-20 seemed fine when he brought her back to the TVA but since he trusts Renslayer he swallows it.

Poor C-20 clearly either got pruned or reset, somehow they didn’t decide to make the smart thing and re-brainwash her, but just preferred to kill her off.

Renslayer persuades Mobius to keep C-20’s death a secret so as not to create panic.

By the way, NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THE BOMBED TIMELINE AND NO ONE WILL TALK ABOUT IT LATER ON. It felt like the bombed timeline was merely something they did in Ep 2 to distract TVA and the viewers so that Sylvie could sneak in but nothing serious since it gets dropped so easily which is beyond disappointing. I mean, in Ep 2 it seemed to be such a huge problem and now… it’s nothing. All solved, all forgotten, just some extra work done in a short time.

Apparently, resetting the timeline in god knows how many points did nothing.

Really, that feel more like a dropped plot point or a plot hole than anything else.

For all that’s worth I find the acting between Mobius and Renslayer good. Every actor is working really hard in this series and I feel bad if it were to get lost into plot contrivances and plot holes.

Back to the story Renslayer pressures Mobius into tracking Sylvie and Loki.

The scene switches back to Lamentis. A lot more meteorites are falling but none of them close to Loki and Sylvie.

Sylvie is sit on a stone. Loki reaches her and apologizes. Because this episode wants him to be a narcissist but he again shows empathy to her.

Sylvie opens up to him, talking with him about her life.

Now is what Loki said about love being a dagger is something that’s not profound and pompous what about this that Sylvie says?

The universe wants to break free, so it manifests chaos. Like me being born the Goddess of Mischief.

It’s completely her speculation and gives her a sense of grandiosity. SHE’S IN A MISSION FOR THE UNIVERSE! THE UNIVERSE WANTS IT!

Don’t take me wrong, the TVA is keeping everyone prisoner but the universe didn’t create the Loki so as they could become its saviours.

We continue with Sylvie story. We’re supposed to swallow not only she figured the Tempad could open timedoor and how it worked but also how to recharge it and how to escape the TVA despite their many attempts to get her. Sylvie, who was already amazing for teaching herself how to enchant people, is set up to be even more amazing as she’s basically teaching herself everything and escaping from the TVA by centuries from when she was a young kid.

Who’s Tony Stark compared to her?

If this were to be a fanfic we would call her a Mary Sue or a Gary Stu.

She’s simply so awesome it doesn’t seem realistic for no reason at all especially compared to the other Loki Variant with her.

As Waldron is not a young girl writing for free I fear nobody will dare tell him he created a Mary Sue and people will only praise him for the oh so competent Sylvie.

And mind you, we need characters like Sylvie, who’re very competent.

Characters who’re sex fluid and bisexual and with a woman body and can still be strong and competent and above others… but the whole thing feels forced because she’s too good without a logic behind it, from figuring out it’s the Tempad that opens time door without never seeing it to do, to successfully escaping the TVA for so long.

When Loki managed to steal the Time Twister and use it, he has seen it being used previously more than once so it made sense he could use it and he had, to figure out how it worked, all the time Mobius spent discussing with B-15.

It made him smart to realize he could use it and he used it in a clever way but it wasn’t unbelievable because he had a grasp of how it worked, of what it could do.

Sylvie only saw it being used to identify her yet she guessed it was the thing that opened the Timedoors and how to make it work despite the Tempad having more than one function in basically a moment.

Then, although she apparently keeps on causing Nexus events everywhere she goes, she always manages to be one step ahead the TVA, escaping their grasp and, in all this, she also managed to recharge the Tempad using amazing power sources where Loki supposedly has no idea how it’s done. She fed herself, she learnt how to fight, she got herself a sword, she learn enchantment without having any basis whatsoever…

She’s the ‘superior Loki’ in a way, but why she should be superior to all the other Loki is absolutely random.

Anyway she says she grew up among ‘ends of the worlds’ and she will die in one of them, all while the scenery around them didn’t seem apocalyptic but romantic.

And mind you, the visual is really pretty but I feel the romance is misplaced, unnecessary.

And I’m still not sold in how they’re representing the moon.

Meanwhile Mobius is searching for them or better for a Nexus event that will lead him to them.

B-15, who hates variants, suggests they’re gone planning their next massacre… which isn’t true but if it were… can you blame them when you were the one who wanted to kill them in the first place and humiliated and belittled them? Should they have thanked you for your mistreatment?

She then asks about C-20 and Mobius says he has none so, worriedly, B-15 tries to urge him to… do something.

We go back to Loki and Sylvie and to the moon conveniently crumbling above them and yet not hitting them with them perfectly calm and enjoying the show.

Sylvie starts getting depressed.

Sylvie: Not long now. Do you think that what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact that we're destined to lose?

So okay, she feels she has lost but this is kind of a big leap. I mean, if the fact Loki was destined to lose is what made him Loki… then Thanos is Loki and Obadiah Stane is Loki and Red Skull is Loki and Killmongrel is Loki and so on.

Loki counters with something… interesting.

Loki: No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don’t die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You’re amazing!

Okay… so he knows he died in the sacred timeline. What’s his basis for saying they don’t die? The fact he survived to the wormhole? When he specifically wanted to die? Or that he survived through Thanos? Is the series ever going to touch that or we should pretend it never happened and Loki had a nice holiday with him?

Or a Time Charge hit the timeline in that point and erased that year Loki spent with Thanos?

Whatever, Loki is now busy admiring Sylvie for her efforts and being supportive… but it seems Marvel doesn’t want to count this as him being empathic and supportive with another being because she’s Loki… only episode 3 and the beginning of episode 4 went to great lengths to establish she’s not and hey, technically episode 3 is right in this.

I’ll point it out here and not later on because it’s probably important to discuss it immediately as it’ll come up later on a lot.

The identity of a person is made up by nature and nurture. Part of you is what you physically are, your genetic code that decide if you’re black or white, male or female or something else, human or a horse, tall or short, healthy or sick.

What you are will dictate part of what you will experience so it has a huge impact on you as it will decide part of your skills and part of your weaknesses.

Then, of course, there’s nurture.

Let’s pick twins. It’s worth to mention not all the identical twins share EXACTLY the same DNA because recent studies have proved mutation occurs in around the 15% of identical twins.

It’s also worth to mention that nurture begins really early. Even if we assume the two managed to keep the same genetic code, during development in the womb one twin might not receive the same amount of nutrients and this might affect his development.

And nurture will continue to affect them as they can even experience similar things (same parents, same house, same school) but there will be always differences that will end up affecting them.

Each twin is his own person, they’re not the same.

So now, Loki and Sylvie.

They’re clearly genetically not the same. What’s more we’ll see at the end there’s even a black Loki so basically this series doesn’t require the same genetic code for a Loki to be a Loki. So nature isn’t relevant here.

What about nurture?

We just learnt Sylvie’s story is completely different from Loki.

As a result her powers are different from his own. Her skillsets, her reactions, her temper is different from his own. She has different goals and different wants. As Sophia Di Martino said, she’s Sylvie, not Loki.

She’s as different from him as another person could be.

To me she even looked more like Thor than Loki.

So really, how’s self admiration when she’s actually not him? The only way for it to be self admiration would be if Loki isn’t admiring her for her own accomplishment, but just because he was told she’s him. But in this case he wouldn’t have been babbling for ours about who’s the lesser Loki.

If all Lokis are made equal in his eyes and worth his admiration because Loki then there’s no point to discuss who among them is better.

In short it’s a damn mess.

Anyway Sylvie touches Loki and he’s kind of surprised, in fact he looks at his arm.

In “Thor” the touch of a Frost Giant could turn Loki into his original look but we know Sylvie has touched Loki already when she tried to enchant him and that’s not the problem.

I wish the trick were she has enchanted him but later Mobius will say the problem is that they had started swooning on each other which opens a huge can of worms but we’ll discuss them later.

So now back to Mobius we go and to the timeline which begins to branch, signalling problems on Lamentis 1.

We return to Loki who raises his eyes from his arm and he and Sylvie look at each other for a moment before returning to pay attention to the show of meteorites falling closer. They turn again to look at each other, holding hands this time and smiling.

Back to Mobius we go and to how the branching timeline seems to go on a perpendicular line rather quickly. It impresses Mobius as it’s apparently an unheard event.

Back to Loki and Sylvie we go and to how two TimeDoor open in front of them.

We don’t know if they jumped through them to survive or if the TVA came out, grabbed them and dragged them through and it doesn’t matter.

In the next scene we see that both Sylvie and Loki are collared, held by guard as they struggle and escorted through the corridors of the TVA, Mobius leading them.

They’re then parted and when this happens they look at each other.

As they walk Mobius begins to talk with Loki. Evidently Mobius has no idea that Loki had been trying to stop Sylvie when they were at the TVA and works on the assumption they were accomplices. Maybe. It’s not really clear on which assumption Mobius is working.

Loki accuses him to have betrayed him and Mobius counters it’s Loki who betrayed him.

Actually they’re both wrong, Mobius more than Loki.

For a betrayal to happen, there needs to be a break of trust.

Now, in regard to Loki, trusting Mobius was a mistake. Mobius picked him up from the trial because he needed him for a use and was never honest with him.

Meeting the Time-Keepers? Mobius can’t met them himself, how could he help Loki meeting them?

But whatever, Loki apparently trusted him so I take he feels betrayed by how Mobius had him arrested when he actually didn’t betray Mobius. He tried stopping Sylvie, he tried capturing her, he ended on Lamentis 1 because Renslayer tried to kill them both, he didn’t cause the timeline to branch on purpose, for most of his permanence on Lamentis 1 he wanted to leave the planet and stick to his own plan to bring Sylvie back to the TVA.

So Mobius arresting him clearly feels an act of betrayal to Loki. He doesn’t know Renslayer didn’t report he tried to stop Sylvie and the fact Mobius didn’t trust him to do what he was supposed to but handled him like a criminal likely hurt.

But, as I said before, for all Mobius can say, he’s not his friend, he’s not someone who would trust and support him, Mobius cares about the TVA.

And Mobius feel betrayed because he thinks Loki plotted against the TVA with Sylvie.

This is wrong for two reasons, the first and most obvious being that Loki didn’t plot with her, the second being that, although Loki seemed to have missed it, he was working with Mobius under coercion. The TVA wanted to prune him, Mobius saved him but in exchange Loki had to make himself useful. This was made clear in episode 2 as well. Mobius said if using Loki didn’t work he would delete him himself and he made Loki sure this was his last chance (before being deleted) and that he had to work to make himself useful while Mobius went and have lunch.

You aren’t entitled to expect genuine loyalty from someone when you tell them ‘if you don’t give me what I want I’ll kill you’. I hope no one has forgotten this little talk from episode 2:

Mobius: This is the final step. Your last chance.

Loki: Oh, and what does my desperate last chance require?

Mobius: Work.

Loki: Work?

Mobius: I need you to go over each and every one of the Variant's case files, and then, give me your... How do I put it? Your unique Loki perspective. And who knows? Maybe there's something that we missed.

Loki: Well, you're idiots. I suspect you probably missed a lot.

Mobius: That's why I'm lucky I got ya for a little bit longer. Let me park ya at this desk. And don't be afraid to really lean into this work. Here's a good trick for you. Pretend your life depends on it. I'm gonna get a snack.

Mobius made really clear if Loki didn’t give him what he wants he’s a dead man.

For some weird reasons Loki decided to still be loyal to him (okay, so he wanted to get to the Time-Keepers and might suffer of Stockholm syndrome), but the most logical thing, as many had pointed out, was escape from the TVA first chance he were to get as Sylvie has been doing.

Now… to be honest there are situations in which you could ask this from another.

If Mobius had told Loki ‘Sorry, I know this is unfair and I want to help you but I can’t do more or I’ll get killed too. So I’ll protect you but I’ve to ask you to protect me as well by putting up with this.’

This though would have required Mobius to prioritize Loki’s survival and consider the fact he needed Loki to catch the Variant as an excuse to keep Loki alive.

That’s not the case, Mobius made clear although he has sympathy for Loki, he prioritizes catching the Variant. He didn’t suffer any repercussion when things went wrong.

He’s absolutely safe, his only risk comes from the Variant but this was the same even prior to Loki getting involved.

Mobius is using Loki and, in exchange for using him, he let him enjoy the benefit of being alive, albeit belittled by others around him. As I said talking about Episode 2, they don’t have an equal partnership.

I hate how Mobius says this:

Mobius: You know, it occurred to me that you're not really the God of Mischief.

Loki: Oh, here it comes. The folksy, dopey insult from the folksy dope. What am I? The God of Self-Sabotage, yeah? The God of Back-Stabbing?

Mobius: Just kind of an asshole and a bad friend.

The worst part is that Mobius seems to genuinely believe he’s a good friend to Loki, opposed to Loki who’s a bad friend. He didn’t even listen to his reasons or asked him what had happened. When Loki tries to tell him something ‘the TVA is lying to you’, he merely assumes Loki is lying. Mobius has no idea what a friend is. He’s angry in the way a pet owner is angry when his dog peed on the carpet, he doesn’t view Loki as equal, which is the basis for being friends.

His idea to deal with Loki now isn’t to listen to him, it’s to punish him by having him being beaten and belittled, as well as tossed hurtful words about Loki’s worst fear, being left alone. He doesn’t even dirty his hands with doing it himself, he just traps Loki in a timeloop in which Sif slaps him, kick him in the groins and punches him telling him he is a ‘conniving, craven, pathetic worm’ and that she ‘hope you know you deserve to be alone and you always will be’, all this because Loki cut her hair.

Now, this is based on something the Loki of the myth did, and that Marvel also had Loki do more than once in the comics, either with Sif or with other characters. In the original version and in the Marvel version Loki didn’t just cut some locks from Sif’s hair as he did here, but basically turned her bald.

It doesn’t matter, yes he was an *ssh*le and yes, I think Sif had all the rights to be angry and call him names and beat him.

BACK THEN.

Loki hurt her, she hurt him back, they are even. That’s the end.

Even Sif knows as she doesn’t remain there to beat him further until all his bones are broken.

Of course this is not going to work because beating someone and calling him names doesn’t magically turn that person into a better person, that’s why many countries abolished corporal punishment and considered it an useless torture.

But this doesn’t mean it’s okay for Mobius to take that moment and traps Loki into a time loop so he can get beaten and humiliated to Mobius’ heart content until he says he’s bad, bad, bad, which in real life is equally useless because we know if you start beating a person and won’t stop until he says what you want him to say, people in the long run will say everything to make the beating stop, they even confess crimes they didn’t commit.

That’s why, in many states, if you arrest someone you can’t beat him until he confess and any confession obtained by beating him is null and void.

And I particularly loathe the framing of all this for more than one reason but let’s start digging with the first ones.

“Thor” side material established that Sif is a better fighter than Loki but sadly the idea a girl can’t hit as hard as a man rules so Sif beating Loki doesn’t feel as bad as, let’s say, Cull Obsidian punching him over and over. Some see as fun that a male can be beaten by a girl and hit on the crotch, a rightful demeaning which excuses what’s being done because she’s just a girl and if Loki can’t defend himself it’s his fault… which is a rather disgusting mindsetting.

The fact Sif was, ‘supposedly’ Loki’s friend is clearly chosen to draw a comparison with Mobius… which doesn’t really work really well because we never truly saw Sif and Loki being friends.

In “Thor” she was fast in thinking he was plotting the downfall of Asgard. If the idea is their relation turned sour because Loki cut her hair… well, this is up to speculation because we never saw it being friendly.

And anyway, even Sif knew when to stop while Mobius evidently doesn’t as he continues to let him be beaten, again without even doing the job himself, framing it as if it was all Loki’s fault.

If he had to beat Loki into submission I would have honestly preferred him to just take a whip and beat him, this framing in which he ‘remains innocent’ while his dog gets punished for peeing on the carpet honestly disgust him. But okay, if the series were to use it to make a point about ‘police brutality’ I would have been fine with it. Mobius wants a confession, wants to force Loki to comply and beat him. The viewers will be shown how wrong is this and the message will be that you shouldn’t do it.

It would be great if Mobius were playing the part of the Bernardo Gui of the TVA.

Bernardo Gui: Brother Salvatore... these torments will cause me as much pain as you. You can end it before we even begin. Open the gates of your heart, search the depths of your soul. [Name of the Rose]

Too bad that’s not the case.

The scene switches to Renslayer’s office.

This is how Mobius defines what he’s doing to Loki:

Mobius: He's softening in the Time Cell, but while he marinates, I thought maybe I'd interview the other Variant.

Please, don’t tell me you never heard this sort of excuses in movies that included police brutality. Or outright torture to make you confess you were an heretic or guilty of a murder.

He’s not being beaten into compliance, he’s softening. We’re making him better, we’re making him willing. We’re absolutely not making anything bad in having him being beaten over and over. Because if you beat someone over and over you’ll always have a honest confession, won’t you?

Bernardo Gui: Since the verdict of the Inquisition has been disputed by Brother William... we are obliged to extract the prisoner's confession to murder. Take him to the forge and show him the instruments.

Remigio Da Varagine: I'll confess anything you want, but don't torture me. I can't go through a night like Salvatore!

Bernardo Gui: Very well. Why did you kill them?

Remigio Da Varagine: Why? I don't know why.

Bernardo Gui: Because you were inspired by the devil?

Remigio Da Varagine: Yes... that's it. I was inspired by the devil. [Name of the Rose]

But I’m running ahead.

Mobius would like to talk with the other Variant, aka Sylvie. Would he also torture her psychologically or physically or it would look bad on him to abuse of a woman? We don’t know as Renslayer, rather cheerfully, refuses to let him speak with her. Nobosy should speak with her.

Mobius tries in another way:

Mobius: I mean, if there's a mastermind here, I don't think it's Loki.

The problem I have with this sentence is that it’s not said because geez, it makes no sense Loki willingly escaped with a variant into an apocalypse with no means to leave it, all to create a branch that would allow the TVA to detect them and capture them.

It’s not even said because Loki is his friend and wouldn’t do it.

Or any other logical reason why Loki wouldn’t have done it.

The implication here seems to be just that Loki doesn’t seem smart enough to be the mastermind of all this fiasco, because this is a fiasco, mind you, as they were captured and if they weren’t they would be dead.

Renslayer’s reply isn’t what Mobius wants.

Renslayer: Good. Then he should be the easiest to break. Work your Loki and figure out what caused that spike. Time-Keepers are watching, Mobius.

She at least calls things with their name as she says Mobius is supposed to break Loki. To break him to get the truth. She has figured Mobius is having him beaten and she’s okay with breaking him. Because a regime beat people into compliance.

Then she put pressures on Mobius by telling him the Time-Keepers are watching which reminds me of how, in the past, people used to say to scare others ‘Remember: God is always watching you!’ and it wasn’t meant to be encouraging, as he’s watching you to protect you, no, he’s watching you because if you mess up he’s ready to punish you.

Welcome to the Time-Keepers cult everyone.

Mobius leaves.

We move to B-15 who’s asking to another hunter Sylvie has beaten if she’s Okay because Sylvie is the superior Loki and of course she has managed to beat one of the hunters guarding her.

Mobius joins B-15 and saying the hunter hurt comments:

Mobius: They don't go gently, do they?

WHY SHOULD THEY?

Are you going gently with Loki? You’re having him beaten over and over and my guess is you’re not doing the same with Sylvie because the show thinks it would look bad if they were shown beating a woman over and over.

Anyway B-15 is right when she calls Loki his ‘Variant pet’, as I said that’s how Mobius sees Loki, as a pet who peed on the carpet.

Mobius goes on:

Mobius: You know, we brought in Kree, Titans, vampires. Why is it the two orphan demigods are such a pain in the ass?

I hate this question honestly because it implies two orphan demigods should just go down quietly, that they aren’t as terrible as Kree, Titans, vampires. Why are they opposing to the TVA, why don’t let themselves just be erased. Or reprogrammed as you let the TVA do to you, Mobius.

You know, there’s people that’s not thrilled with the idea you can kill or submit them.

But Hunter B-15 despite looking down on the Variants, is worried so she asks if Loki said anything to him.

Mobius replies Loki told him the TVA is lying him. Oh, think the audacity! The TVA which is so honest. The agency he can believe it’s real because he believes it’s real.

Mobius: Odin, God of the Heavens. Asgard, mystical realm, beyond the stars. Frost Giants. Listen to yourself...

Loki: It's not the same. It's completely different. No. It's not the same.

Mobius: It's exactly the same thing. Because if you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kinda ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I'm just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this... My own glorious purpose.

Mobius: Cause the TVA is my life. And it's real because I believe it's real.

Such a solid base. And Loki tells him they’re lying. No, really? His little personal cult, lying TO HIM?

Of course B-15 fears differently but she had an experience Mobius couldn’t share.

We go back to Loki who now is on the ground and is begging Sif to hit him no more. And a side of me facepalm.

Okay, as said before Sif was established to be stronger than him but he knows she’s coming. He could goddamn prepare and put up a fight instead than just stay there and get beaten which, I guess, is painful.

I’ll assume he can’t use his magic so I’ll forgive him for not using that but he could just take a flower vase, hit and crash it against Sif’s head when she enters.

Never mentioning that if he kept on getting punched and beaten, since HE doesn’t rewind, by now he should have a quite bruised check. Again, since Mobius wanted him beaten it would have made more sense if he just had whipped him but no, we needed to get this thing that supposedly tame the beating down so we don’t feel disgusted if we don’t think at it too hard.

Anyway Loki has enough and gives Sif what she wanted to hear.

Loki: Please, please, no more. Please, I beg you. I'm a horrible person. I get it. I really am. I cut off your hair because I thought it'd be funny. And it's not. Uh... I crave attention... because I'm... I'm a... I'm a narcissist. And I suppose it's... It's because I'm scared of being alone.

So let’s talk of all that’s wrong with this.

First of all Loki was coerced in saying this. It means goddamn nothing.

Second if this is meant to be the truth and someone doesn’t point out a little louder how the TVA is a fascist organization that deploy torture and anyway it’s bad to coerce people into saying the truth this way, it basically encourages to beat people to get them to be honest. Which is disgusting.

Third, it makes a HUGE deal of something that it’s relatively minor. I mean, Mobius wanted him to say he’s a horrible person? For cutting Sif’s hair?!? This is his worst crime, something Loki need to regret?

The TVA in Ep 1 was all about pinning on him the blame for the attack on New York but Sif’s hair, oh, cutting Sif’s hair is obviously worse. Only no, because it meant to happen in the Sacred Timeline so the TVA would have punished him hadn’t he done it.

So you can read this in two ways.

Either Mobius’ logic is dumb or the episode’s logic is dumb. If the story is trying to paint Mobius as an idiot and an hypocrite or he’s just trying to confuse Loki so that he’ll say everything and the opposite of everything and it doesn’t matter if it make sense or not fine, I’m cool, but if I’m supposed to run with this instead and think Mobius’ amazingly therapeutic way to get Loki to realize his faults and think at his behaviour and realize what he is, is to have Sif beat him into submission they’ll do better to think it twice.

Now… this part ‘I crave attention... because I'm... I'm a... I'm a narcissist. And I suppose it's... It's because I'm scared of being alone’ doesn’t make sense.

You don’t become a Narcissist because you’re scared of being alone. If you’re a Narcissist you crave attention and are scared to be alone but fears of loneliness doesn’t turn people into narcissists.

Now… is Loki a Narcissist? It’s kind of ridicule Loki would self diagnose it to himself, especially without any competence in psychology which on Asgard doesn’t seem to exist or they would know adopting a child and not telling him he’s adopted ends up badly in 99,9% of the cases. He’s probably using the term loosely but whatever, let’s run with it.

@lucianalight wrote an awesome essay (whose reading I recommend along with the others of the same series) explaining why he isn’t and Cinematherapy who can count on a real therapist, did a video explaining why he is. So who’s right?

Both and neither.

Let’s start with Cinematherapy as they employ a professional.

If you watch the video (recorded prior to the series) you realize they make a HUGE canon mistake right at the start. They assume Loki’s magical powers come from Loki being a Frost Giant.

That’s not bad will from their part, this is actually based on how they’ve watched the movies… and nothing else so they skipped all the additional side material and cut scenes. They didn’t watch the cut scene in “Thor: The Dark World” saying how Loki learnt magic from his mother nor read it in a side material publication or interview. They have no idea Loki’s sceptre was influencing him in “The Avengers” because that’s only written on Marvel’s web and not present in the movies and don’t seem to consider Loki in the year between “Thor” and “The Avengers” had to go through something terrible that could involve Thanos and torture or even death since that was only mentioned in interviews and in pretty vague terms. They consider “Thor: Ragnarok” part of the canon without considering how Taika Waititi deliberately, for his own admission, retconned it.

So their analysis uses the 5 movies and considers Loki in ‘perfect’ psychological state through the 5 of them. And it makes sense Cinematherapy analysis are meant to talk to casual viewers not to fans who knows everything about the movies.

@lucianalight instead considers all the side material included the cut scenes and the interview and discard “Thor: Ragnarok”. As a fan who well knows the story and the authors’ intentions she has access to a completely different set of information that Cinematherapy didn’t use in their analysis.

The result is that Cinematherapy and @lucianalight fundamentally looked at two different stories, albeit rooted on the same movies, and since they analyzed different material, they came up with contrasting analysis in which neither is wrong because they’re basically analyzing two different Variants of Loki.

But what’s the Variant we should look at to understand if the Loki of “Loki” is a Narcissist or not?

The real problem with diagnosing a character of fictional works is that said character is well… fictional. He can’t have a personality disorder, said disorder needs to be scripted into him by the writers… who often know very little of psychology, which is why I prefer to use trope to analyze characters than the effective mental disorders.

But with Loki we’ve a huge problem, because, in addition to the writers not being experienced about disorders, we’re talking about writerS, plural.

There’s more people writing Loki, and each of them can’t agree on how to interpret him.

So we have:

“Thor” in which Loki hardly presents traits of Narcissism.

“The Avengers” in which he presents them.

“Thor: The Dark World” in which he alternates presenting them, depending on the scene being written by Whedon or Don Payne (who also worked on “Thor”) and Robert Rodat.

“Thor: Ragnarok” in which he presents traits of Narcissism.

“Avengers: Infinity War” in which he doesn’t present them, if you read the interview, he’s just saying whatever comes to his mind to try to get a chance to kill Thanos and save his brother aware he can easily get killed… or in which he presents them if you don’t read the interviews and believes he’s persuaded he will come on the top.

If you mix the movies together and take them as they are without checking the additional material, the ones in which he presents traits of Narcissisms ends up colouring the view of the ones in which he doesn’t.

If you consider only “Thor” and “Thor: The Dark World” (the Don Payne and Robert Rodat part) which tried to keep the same continuity as the same scriptwriter was involved in both of them, he doesn’t.

I’ll be honest though, I think Marvel wants to slap that disorder on him.

They’ve discovered it’s oh so funny to have Loki feel so high and mighty and then be humbled down by having the Hulk smash him or Thor tossing him out of a spaceship or electrocuting him or Sif kicking him in his groins.

However I think Marvel is trying to milk their cow too much.

The scenes in which Loki is humbled work wonderfully in “The Avengers” because Loki genuinely felt high and mighty to the viewers to the point we didn’t expect him to be defeated, so seeing him being humbled down by the Hulk, by Hawkeye’s arrow, by Coulson shooting at him, were all powerful moves.

You didn’t expect them, Loki was a real threat in the movie and you’re as surprised as him when he gets defeated.

I mean when Hawkeye throws his arrow and Loki grabs it with no effort, it pushes you to think ‘oh, he’s too strong’ only for it to explode in his face.

You don’t get the same feeling in this series.

Loki is not strong nor particularly competent or bright. His words aren’t profound nor persuasive. His confidence seems baseless, his humbling down becomes expected, here, against Sif, he basically did NOTHING, except being beaten up. His verbal efforts to stop her were pathetic.

You aren’t surprised by Sif beating him, by Sif not being persuaded by his first weak attempts at stopping her verbally, his words aren’t convincing, his attempts at stopping her physically, inexistent.

It gets boring for the viewer as well as it ultimately gets ‘boring’ for Loki who, at a certain point says:

Loki: I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times. "You. You conniving, craven, pathetic worm. You did this." Right?

He’s no more affected, it had become routine and it is for us too.

It’s a fail a wasted scene.

Overall I think Waldron doesn’t think highly of Loki. He views him as a Narcissist who thinks highly about himself but in truth is nothing special. A comic relief, an agent of chaos. At the same time… I’m not sure he knows what a Narcissist is, or that he’s thinking at the Narcissistic personality disorder because this Loki shows empathy. In this episode he showed he is not envious of Sylvie and his arrogant behaviour is a cover to cover up his weakness.

So honestly… whatever, I don’t care. No, okay, I do.

I’m sad because I see a lot of people working hard in this series, from the actors to Kate Herron who really love Loki and wanted this job but for me the plot of a story and the characterization of the characters are important and only Sergio Leone can pull out a masterpiece with a man with no name and a poor script.

Mind you, this episode is better than the previous in terms of plot but… overall is weak. I really, really hope the series will improve in Ep 5 and 6 because episode 3 & 4 just weren’t that great.

I really want Loki to have a great series but wanting it and getting it aren’t necessarily the same things.

Anyway back to the plot.

Although after Loki’s confession Sif doesn’t beat him and help him to get up this is what she tells him.

Sif: You are alone and you always will be.

Basically yeah, Loki’s confession meant nothing because he can’t change anything. He can’t get attention or company, not even behaving better. This is Sif’s message in the end. He’s pathetic and this time she doesn’t beat him up because it feels like beating a pathetic person.

Now, I’m not saying she should have forgiven him. Not this Sif. But the overall situation is warped. Although she didn’t mean to, she technically beat him nonstop, he had way more than enough, and if Sif hadn’t been trapped into a timeloop she would have known.

This Sif was used as a toy to do a job Mobius didn’t want to do personally.

It’s overall a sick situation and, since this Sif didn’t know she had been abusing Loki for only God knows how long, although she helps him to stand she rightfully doesn’t feel they’re even.

And though Loki had gotten a break from being beaten, it’s clear his admission ultimately did nothing good to him psychologically. If he’s alone and will always be as such… why should he care he hurts others? Why shouldn’t he take a bit of fun where he can?

And all this is psychological manipulation of course because then Mobius appears like a balm.

LOKI: There's not many people that can sneak up on me. (turns to see NATASHA STANDING THERE)

NATASHA: But you figured I'd come.

LOKI: After. After whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate.

Now… I have not the slightest idea of what Mobius is planning to do here. He doesn’t trust Loki, he doesn’t really want the truth, whatever that can be, he wants a truth of his liking and this is not negotiable.

Loki tells him that he’ll give him info only if he’ll let him out of the place and stop beating him and he decides this means Loki previously wasn’t telling the truth because he’s not being submissive enough.

Mobius makes clear he wants to hear about the plan between Loki and the Variant and that he wants Loki to give him the answers he wants, not the truth. Which is stupid because instead he needs the truth.

When Loki tells him the truth, that he wasn’t partner with Sylvie, he’s dismissive of his answer.

Mobius: Yeah, I guess you don't do partners. Unless, of course, it benefits you, and you intend to betray them at some point.

Loki insists on not having a partnership with Sylvie.

Loki: It was a means to an end, Mobius. Welcome to the real world. Down there, we're awful to get what we want.

Mobius: Now I gotta have a prince tell me how the real world works?

I hate this mentality that has started to develop into Marvel movies as if royalty lived a fairy tale life and could have no idea of the real world, especially the part in which ‘we're awful to get what we want’ because it’s dumb. Royalty has an history of being awful to get what they want that’s as long as the start of civilization. If Mobius doesn’t know, maybe he is the one who has no idea how the real world work, how many wars had been declared because a king wanted the land of his neighbour or something else. How they could accuse people of betrayal or of imaginary crimes to get rid of them.

Laufey is a king and moved war to Earth. Odin is a king and drowned civilizations in blood.

T’Chaka is a king and abandoned his nephew so as to cover an unwanted truth.

The Supreme Intelligence of the Kree Empire took advantage of Carol Danvers, altering her memories.

And that’s just the Marvel universe. So really Mobius, are you sure that all royalty is the equivalent of Disney princesses who sings are lovely and have talking pets?

And then Mobius does a really STUPID question.

Mobius: Why don't you just tell me what caused the nexus event on Lamentis?

So the series has gone to a great length to establish people doesn’t know they cause a nexus event. They can’t see the sacred timeline they move at random and SLAM, sometimes they end up doing something they didn’t know they weren’t planned to do and it results in a nexus event. BUT THEY DIDN’T KNOW IT BEFOREHAND! SO HOW IS LOKI SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!?

But anyway they clearly weren’t supposed to be there so everything they do can create a disturbance if it’s not erased by the apocalypse. For example if they sent a missile to destroy the neighbour planet before Lamentis 1 was destroyed they clearly would affect the Sacred Timeline because the neighbouring planet wasn’t meant to get blasted away.

But still… they found them there, waiting for destruction with no means to escape and with no idea the TVA would have appeared because they broke the sacred timeline.

It’s kind of a giant warning sign they’ve no idea what they’ve done.

So Mobius demanding to know feels as if they had dumbed down Mobius as well.

Loki wants to play stubborn and he has good reasons since he fears for his life.

Loki: Let me say this again. I'm not going to tell you just so you can turn around immediately afterwards and prune me.

In reply Mobius decides Loki needs to be tortured by Sif some more.

So Loki does what Remigio Da Varagine did when Bernardo Gui promised to torture him, he tells Mobius what he believes Mobius wants to hear, that of course they were accomplices and of course they had a plan and he was in charge of it.

Only Mobius has decided that Sylvie is the better Loki so he doesn’t believe Loki is in control and, to test him, he tells him Sylvie was pruned.

This hits Loki as he has grown feelings for Sylvie. He tries to play it as he doesn’t care but Mobius guesses he’s affected.

On a sidenote the series painting Loki oh so transparent affects negatively Thor as well as Thor never seems to realize it when Loki is affected, which leads to the implication Thor is either dumb or doesn’t care or… he’s written by someone else who thinks Loki is better at masking his feelings.

Mind you, in the movies Loki has moments in which is feelings are on display for everyone to see but also moments in which they’re guarded. Here they simply are not. In the series his feelings are constantly on display as if he somehow has lost the ability to guard them even if he tries to.

Anyway Mobius decides that Loki caring for the variant means he got a crush on her. I wish I could say he’s wrong but this is what Waldron has to say on the topic:

“That was one of the cruxes of my pitch [for the series], that there was going to be a love story. We went back and forth for a little bit about, like do we really want to have this guy fall in love with another version of himself? Is that too crazy? But in a series that, to me, is ultimately about self-love, self-reflection, and forgiving yourself, it just felt right that that would be Loki's first real love story. The look that they share, that moment, [it started as] a blossoming friendship. Then for the first time, they both feel that twinge of, ‘Oh, could this be something more? What is this I'm feeling?’ These are two beings of pure chaos that are the same person falling in love with one another. That's a straight-up and down branch, and exactly the sort of thing that would terrify the TVA.” [Loki Writer Explains Episode 4's Sylvie Love Story Reveal]

Why there needs to be a love story? A romantic love story? Self-love is different from self-cest. Learning to appreciate yourself doesn’t mean you suddenly wants to date yourself.

Besides, if the whole point was having Loki fall for himself, then let Sylvie be him!

Sylvie is so different from him she could very well be a different person... and it’s actually worth to ponder a bit on this.

As I said before Sylvie is genetically different from Loki. By logic this would mean more than Loki, she’s Loki’s fraternal twin from a parallel dimension. Only, if the TVA prunes whatever diverges by the sacred timeline this means she should have been pruned at birth because the sacred timeline has a male Loki. But no, she gets the time to grow up till… the Asgardian equivalent of 10 years old?

And only because back then she has somehow made something that didn’t fit with the timeline?

What was that, she was told she was adopted and, since her parents this time did things properly she felt loved instead than the monster parents tell their children at night and was about to grow up as a psychologically healthy girl?

Anyway, back to the problem, we’ll see at the end that, among the other Loki there’s also another Loki who clearly doesn’t have the same genetic code of Loki. No, I’m not talking of the Loki played by Deobia Oparei, Loki’s skin colour was supposed to be blue, it’s of course worth questioning why Odin went for black instead than white this time (does he come with an Asgard where everyone is a person of colour?) but it can be just the result of Odin’s magic. What I’m talking about is the Loki alligator.

Because normally who give birth to alligators aren’t frost giants but alligators… that or Asgard was populated by alligators. Or, that Loki was magically turned into an alligator but somehow I doubt it.

So anyway, if Loki might not share the same genetic code with his variants and not being pruned at birth… this works for Laufey too. This works for everyone.

Basically all the Variants could be completely different people who happen to share the same name.

In a way we know about the TVA work as much as we knew before episode 1. Sometimes they accuse someone deciding he broke the timeline… but sometime they don’t care if such break is done. Why? Because the Time-Keepers say so.

Great, whatever, I really don’t see the need of Loki falling in love for a version of himself who couldn’t be more different from himself than Sylvie is. At this point he could have fallen in love for anyone, even B-15.

Couldn’t they put in the show Verity Willis instead than Mobius and Sylvie?

The genuine friendship and appreciation they have in the comic which is also part of what saved Loki in the end was much better than the ‘friendship’ he has with Mobius or the abrupt crush for Sylvie.

And mind you, I like Sylvie as a character. I just don’t like what the series is doing with her.

Mobius too is well done as a character… but he’s the farthest thing from a friend for Loki.

Back to the story Mobius is having the time of his life because Loki is in pain for Sylvie’s supposed death since he has fallen for her.

Because friends obviously love it when you’re in pain when you believe your crush is dead.

Then he goes and say:

Mobius: No wonder you have no clue what caused the nexus event on Lamentis. Both of you are swooning over each other.

Wait so he knew Loki has no clue about what caused the Nexus event? And despite this he tortured Loki? And now he claims Loki has no clue because he and Sylvie were swooning over each other? Because that’s always what happened when a Nexus event happens, isn’t it? People swoon on someone else and don’t realize they’re causing a Nexus event. Loki was probably swooning on the Tesseract and Sylvie on her Valkyrie doll, right? The logic here is big.

Mobius: It's the apocalypse. Two Variants of the same being, especially you, forming this kind of sick, twisted romantic relationship. That's pure chaos. That could break reality. It's breaking my reality right now. What a incredible seismic narcissist. You fell for yourself.

Yeah, the sacred timeline is something that can bear people being turned into slaves, Jewish people being gassed into concentration camps, children being abused, terrorism, the destruction of Pompeii, New York being attacked by the Chitauri, Lamentis 1 getting destroyed, Bucky being turned into a slave of Hydra, Asgard being destroyed, Peter losing his parents, Thanos purging half of the universe, Tony Stark having to die when they could have just wiped away the Thanos that went into the future but God forbid two Loki were to commit selfcest. What are lives lost compared to selfcest?

Much, much better to wipe away half of all the living things than that.

Because…

“These are two beings of pure chaos that are the same person falling in love with one another. That's a straight-up and down branch, and exactly the sort of thing that would terrify the TVA.” [Loki Writer Explains Episode 4's Sylvie Love Story Reveal]

Ah, okay, great, it’s just because they’re two beings of pure chaos. If it had been Captain America falling for a Variant of himself the timeline would have clapped at him. No really, I still hope you take back this somehow and say it was all to mislead us because for me it’s not a problem of selfcest. It’s a HUGE problem of something called LOGIC. What’s this “Alice in the wonderland”? Mobius continues being a good, supportive friend by mocking Loki when she tells him the Variant’s name was Sylvie. Really Loki, with friends like this you were better with Thanos calling himself your dad. Finally anyway Loki manages to have Mobius tell him Sylvie is still alive, which gives him some relief, then Mobius goes on.

Mobius: And was infiltrating the TVA, was that always sort of the grand plan?

Wait, is he implying that when Loki produced his first Nexus event he did it so he could infiltrate in the TVA? Because of course he would know that they wouldn’t prune him but Mobius would come to his rescue? What had Mobius been drinking? Then when Loki tells Mobius maybe the Time-Keepers need to be overthrown Mobius goes:

Mobius: I ought to box your ears.

Because of course, violence is the solution and Loki should only be grateful to the Time-Keepers who kidnapped him and want to terminate him, shouldn’t he? Mobius is simply terrible here… which I don’t like because in a while I’ll be supposed to feel sad for him.

Loki now tries to tell Mobius the truth… only Mobius doesn’t want to listen, he claims Loki already told him 50 lies in the past 10 minutes without even considering he called for them as he tortured Loki to get what he wanted to hear, not the truth and anyway, if Loki isn’t trustworthy why they’re having that discussion?

Plus he belittles everything Loki says by basically downplaying Sylvie. She’s his girlfriend, his female self. She’s not her own. And of course in addition to downplaying Sylvie he has to insult Loki’s feelings because that’s what friends are for.

Mobius: Whatever you want to call her. What, your female self that you have some demented crush on...

Honestly, if Mobius had had a crush on Loki I would have waved this as him being jealous and bitter Loki found someone else but he does not. He took possession of Loki, looked down on him as some sort of pet, tried to manipulate him into obedience and babbled of a friendship that clearly didn’t exist and that had no reason to exist even if he hadn’t acted as a jerk because they barely know each other.

Friendship is something earned over time, not something others own you because you save them from death provided they’ll work for you.

What in the world is the TVA idea of friendship?

Anyway Loki informs him they’re all Variants and all the truth connected to it.

For a moment it seems to work, Mobius seems to be affected.

But this isn’t a truth Mobius wanted to hear because it ruins the basis of the TVA and the TVA is…

Mobius: Cause the TVA is my life. And it's real because I believe it's real.

So Mobius goes and call all of that a lie and since he hadn’t been a jerk enough he felt the need to play Odin’s role and remind Loki of his path in the sacred timeline.

Mobius: You two, what a pair! Gosh! Unbelievable. Wherever you go, it's just death, destruction, the literal ends of worlds.

What a friend, huh? Honestly I think he went for that line deliberately, because he has seen Loki’s life in the sacred timeline and saw Odin tossing a similar line to him and knows it hurt him.

Odin: Do you not truly feel the gravity of your crimes? Wherever you go there is war, ruin and death.

It’s also probably worth to mention this Loki hadn’t caused any of the ends of the worlds he’s been in.

Then he does what everyone expected, he decided he didn’t need Loki anymore and could get rid of him.

Mobius: Well, I'm gonna have to close this case now, 'cause I don't need you anymore. Yeah, or as you might say, our interests are no longer aligned.

Honestly I don’t like the idea of Loki falling for Sylvie but with people like Mobius around him… why am I complaining? Sylvie, who also attacked and belittled him, was much better as she didn’t go and called herself his friend at least. She was more honest than Mobius so congratulation Mobius, you beat the Goddess of Mischief.

On a sidenote the lines red and grey on the wall give me the feeling they’re in a circus tent. So yeah

Loki: The Time-Keepers have built quite the circus, and I see the clowns are playing their parts to perfection.

Anyway Loki is dragged away to be tortured by Sif again. Because Mobius hadn’t had him beaten up into submission enough before killing him. This is just sadistic.

This time Loki though is so angry he’s calm.

Loki: You know, of all the liars in this place, and there are a great many, you're the biggest.

Mobius: Why? 'Cause I lied about your girlfriend?

Loki: Oh, no. That I can respect. I mean, the lies you tell yourself.

Honestly I hate how Mobius continues to call Sylvie ‘his girlfriend’, not because I don’t like the idea of them paired together but because I get it’s Mobius’ way to belittle them both. She’s not her own person, not Sylvie, she’s Loki’s female self that he has some demented crush on. That’s all he makes her to be.

I don’t know what happened to Mobius in this episode. He seemed to have moral standards in Ep 1 & 2. He didn’t seem to enjoy hurting others for no reason. Now he does.

Well, at least Loki gets to call him on the lies he tells himself.

So, a break here. Great acting from both, good direction from Kate Herron, dumb plot.

The idea is that Mobius is questioning Loki to know what caused the Nexus event, right? But instead than his intelligence he uses physical torture. Now it would be fine if he needed to get a confession and didn’t care about the truth but he cares about the truth, he needs it to prevent future nexus events. Only no, he doesn’t care. Whatever.

Then he tries to see if Loki has feelings about Sylvie, which he does and jumps to the idea that Loki must love her because since they’re a male and a female there’s no other way to care for each other if not romantic love. He can’t view her as a sister or have pity of her, no it has to be romantic love and Waldron backs him up so it is and so this has to be what broke the timeline because… the timeline can tolerate any sort of crime but not selfcest committed by chaotic beings?

It must be this because if Mobius find something demented the timeline would as well, we’ve proofs… no we don’t have it is just speculation but Mobius read Waldron’s interview so he knows it’s true.

So Mobius has his answer, the timeline is against selfcest. Case closed. Logic thrown out of the window notwithstanding.

But then Loki really tells him the truth but Mobius doesn’t like it so let’s torture Loki some more. Because Mobius is so intelligent he can tell when Loki is lying, the series has already established it, so this has to be Loki lying right? And Mobius let him be tortured despite claiming he’s Loki’s friend and having tons of doubts about what C-20 saw and how Rendlayer is acting oddly because that’s what friends do. It has Thanos’ seal of approbation after all.

Whatever, let’s go on.

So we move to Hunter B-15 doing calming breaths as she’s clearly very upset. It’s worth to remember she was depicted as hating Variants the most. Her gaze falls on a poster recommending to capture all the variants and make sure to delete them all.

The fun part is that the guy on that poster remind me of the Mobius of the comics… but maybe it’s just me.

After this B-15 turns on her weapon and orders the ones guarding the entrance of the theatre in which they had put Sylvie to let her in. They don’t even discuss or hesitate, they just let her in.

Sylvie acts in the confident manner Loki used to act in “The Avengers” when he was prisoner of the Avengers.

Sylvie: Hello... Oh, I don't know. Your name's a number. Can't read it from here.

As she says so she moves closer. B-15 though put away her weapon, opens a timedoor and tells her to come with her.

Why they go away through a timedoor? Couldn’t they talk there? Isn’t it more risky as not only Sylvie could use this to escape but they might risk altering the oh so sacred timeline? Are there hearing devices in the theatre? Does the guards outside eavesdrop?

Whatever, we’re back to Renslayer’s office.

Mobius is thoughtful, Renslayer is happy because the case is closed. So Mobius really presented as excuse for the branch the fact that Loki and Sylvie supposedly fell in love? Because if Loki cares for someone is romantic love? He cried for Frigga too, for Asgard? Why it has to be romantic love for Mobius? Because Sylvie is a woman and Loki is a man and God forbid a man could care for a female in any other way that’s not romantic? Because the script said so? Couldn’t he care for her like a twin sister? She even acts like Thor here and there but she’s smarter than him. Would the timeline branch anyway?

Whatever, I guess I’m not meant to make questions but if the case is closed why he had to stuck Loki again in that timeloop to be beaten and humiliated? It’s not like Renslayer is checking him and even if she were or the Time-Keepers were which would have been the harm in letting him sit there like Sylvie is?

For which reason Mobius is trying so hard to break him? Revenge? He didn’t seem such a jerk in Ep 1 & 2 and now… why has he changed?

Anyway Mobius is beyond obvious acting weird despite Renslayer being all happy for the case closed and asking him

Renslayer: If you could go anywhere, anytime, where would it be?

She clearly mean for personal pleasure, maybe she plans on letting him have a holiday anywere he’d like but Mobius doesn’t seem to get it.

Mobius: I can go anywhere, anytime.

His reply hints he reduces everything to work, to going anywhere, anytime for work and while Renslayer tries to get him to open up he asks again why she didn’t let him interrogate ‘Sylvie’, which is a mistake as when in Renslayer’s office he usually calls the Variants just Variants, not by name, unless it’s necessary. Besides Renslayer doesn’t know the Variant’s chosen alias so she’s twice as confused.

Mobius has to explain ‘Sylvie’ is how Loki calls the Variant and Renslayer tells him it wasn’t so as to make sure it wouldn’t escape, and when Mobius says she wouldn’t have escaped (because Mobius is so good at keeping the Loki Variants close) she reminds him the other Variant did escape while in his care (yeah, twice, Mobius you aren’t as good as you like to present yourself).

Renslayer tries again to get him to answer her on where he’s like to go and he replies

Mobius: I like being here now, with you, doing the work.

Which is solely because he’s deadly scared of admitting he’d like to be some other place. He doesn’t like his life there, he loves jet ski and would like to ride one but he’s just scared to do so and finds comfort in the monotony of his own life. Which is beyond depressing and is part of the lies he tells himself.

Renslayer gives up and informs him she’d heard the Time-Keepers and they will personally oversee the Variant's pruning and they want Mobius to be there as well. I take that with ‘the Variant’ they mean Sylvie but later we’ll see Loki too is carried in front of them.

Why they want Mobius too though? To make sure he’ll stay put? To prune him as well because he’s being as suspicious as possible?

Mobius seems pleased he’ll finally met the Time-Keeper then oh so discreetly goes back on questioning Renslayer. On C-20 this time. Which obviously makes Renslayer even more suspicious.

She tries to deflect his question by pointing out how everything went well, the Time-Keepers are happy and yadda, yadda and Mobius insists again on wanting to know about C-20… because this was totally smooth and not suspicious at all.

And this is bad because this guy is the one who’s supposed to be at Loki’s same level if not above. If he’s so incompetent it reflects poorly on Loki too.

Yeah, he was very upset by C-20’s death so maybe this is messing him up but still he couldn’t be more obvious, insisting over and over when Renslayer clearly doesn’t want to tell him more. What does he expect, her to admit she lied? She’s not a Variant he can torture, or keep there until he gets the answers he wants, she’s basically his boss.

Anyway Renslayer, probably due to her fondness for him, confirms her previous version and tells him if he’s not allowed to meet the Variant that’s because she’s protecting him from facing the horrible fate C-20 went through.

I think this requires a bit of appropriate singing from another movie:

Shhh.. Trust me Mobius, Ravonna, knows best. Ravonna knows best. Listen to your Ravonna. She's a scary Variant that Sylvie. Ravonna knows best. One way or another. Something will go wrong, I swear. Stabbing, kicking, poison, punching. Stealing, and humiliating, the lies. Also large sword, a woman with pointy teeth. And stop, no more, you'll just upset me. Ravonna's right here. Ravonna will protect you. Darling here's what I suggest. Skip the drama, stay with Ravonna. RAVONNA!! Knows best! Ravonna knows best. Take it from your Ravonna. On your own, you won't survive. Sloppy underdressed, immature, clumsy, Please, they'll eat you up, alive. Gullible, nave, positively grubby. Ditzy and a bit, well, hmm vague. Plus I believe, getting kinda chubby. I'm just saying, 'Cause I wuv you. Ravonna understands, Ravonnas here to help you. All I have is one request. (singing ends) Mobius? Don't ever ask to see the Variant, again.

Evidently Mother Gothel… pardon Renslayer’s performance doesn’t fully win Mobius over.

Mobius: Yeah, if it's the truth.

Intelligence? Or, like with Loki he has already decided with answer he needs to get?

Renslayer now tries to distract him blaming everything on the time Mobius spent with the Lokis, implying that because they lie he came up to think she would lie too and then she gives him an inspirational speech about how their work matter and how they’re special friends.

Renslayer: When we're out there fighting for the fate of the Sacred Timeline we're also fighting for this. For us. Friends against time, allies to the end. You've seen all of existence, same as me. So, you know, friendship like ours is uncommon. And worth fighting for. Same as the Sacred Timeline.

So Mobius has friends.

Or at least he has Renslayer.

Does he plan to close her too in a timeloop for lying to him? Or, since she was used to always humour him (this is apparently the first time she told him ‘no’) he expected Loki too had to play on his tune, especially considering Loki isn’t his boss, and got upset when Loki showed a mind of his own?

Or is Renslayer who taught him who disappoint gets closed in a timeloop where he’s punched and insulted by doing this to Mobius?

I’d like to know.

Whatever, this speech persuaded Mobius so much he distract Renslayer suggesting to find a place for her new trophy only to swap the Tempads behind her back… and then oh so discreetly try to run away because this wouldn’t be suspicious at all.

Smooth, Mobius, smooth.

 Okay, so B-15 took Sylvie to the Roxxcart apocalypse since now she knows the TVA can’t detect changes if they happen in an apocalypse.

Sylvie thinks she wants a fight but B-15 is instead tormented by what Sylvie had shown her when she possessed her.

Now, everyone, let’s refresh our memory on how enchantment works.

Sylvie: It depends on the mind. Most are easy and I can overtake them instantly. Others, the stronger ones, it gets tricky. I'm in control, but they're there, too. In order to preserve the connection, I have to create a fantasy from their memories.

B-15 was overtaken very easily with Sylvie fully in control of her as she moved her like a puppet and had her say what she wanted. So why in the world she needed to show her a memory? We saw how things worked with C-20, she used the memory to answer in kind to her questions believing she was with a friend. What she did to B-15 to make her move and say what she wanted, did she had a memory in which she was an actress and Sylvie read her the script?

I’ve no words, they gave the rule 1 episode ago, don’t they remember them anymore?

So anyway Sylvie tells B-15 the truth and B-15, the one who believes talking to Variant is a mistake and they should all be pruned as they’re cosmic mistakes immediately swallows what the Variant who’d been killing TVA agents non-stop tells her and volunteers to let herself be possessed again.

Because this wouldn’t be dangerous at all, I mean, surely Sylvie who has a grudge against the TVA and has been killing TVA agents won’t lie to her and wouldn’t just possess her to steal her tempad and escape leaving her to die in the apocalypse.

Yeah, surely because Sylvie, instead than possessing her, does as she request and shows her those memories and B-15 can be sure they’re true and not a trick because… she too read the script and know they’re true.

So B-15, who had been pruning, abusing and belittling other Variants like her, once knowing she’s a Variant says:

Hunter B-15: I looked happy.

With tears in her voice. Okay, so she also sides with Sylvie but… don’t take me wrong, different people react differently but let’s look for a moment B-15’s reaction at discovering she’s a Variant, a cosmic mistake.

B-15 was the one who hated Variants the most… but knowing she was one all she cares was she looked happy. What’s her problem she was miserable at the TVA? I didn’t notice. She just accepted she’s a Variant so easily… everyone else, even people who didn’t hate Variants will have more problems with it. C-20 was in shock, Mobius goes in denial, Loki basically went mad with grief when he discovered he was a Frost Giant.

B-15 mourns that she was happy and then asks for instructions to Sylvie.

I wonder if she’s the sort of person who can’t think on her own. She did what the TVA propaganda said because she never stopped to think about it, she got an easy to posses mind, and now she’s willing to do what Sylvie says because she can’t think at it on her own.

To be honest… although I feel what the TVA did to the people working there was pretty disgusting, I find hard on an intellectual level to empathize with someone who had been enjoying pruning and abusing Variants and now that she has discovered she’s one she doesn’t regret what she did to the others like her but mourn her old happiness.

Anyway I compliment Wunmi Mosaku for this scene. I’m not persuaded by how they decided she would just swallow she’s a Variant so easily, but still she played well the part.

Empathically, to see another being so grief stricken, causes me to react emotionally, even though logically I feel I shouldn’t care because they didn’t give me reasons to feel sorry for someone who was so happy to be an abuser and doesn’t regret having been one, she still managed to make me feel sorry for her character because her sadness was emotionally involving.

Really, good job, and good job to Kate Herron who played that scene well.

We switch to Mobius who hides among bookshelves to check Renslayer’s tempad.

I love the visual here, how it seems we’re pecking on Mobius by a hole but whatever, might be just me.

Renslayer’s tempad confirms C-20 died so Mobius is about to close it when he decides to check the classified report of the mission on Renslayer’s tempad. Renslayer conveniently recorded C-20 saying:

Hunter C-20: You're not hearing me. I was there. This was real, what I saw. This is a place that I've been. This wasn't the TVA. This was a memory. I lived down there. I went to that bar. I had friends. I had a whole life on the Sacred Timeline.

Interrogator: Calm down.

Hunter C-20: "Calm down"? I'm a Variant. So are you. So is every single person in this place. I'm ending this.

So yeah, Mobius, Loki didn’t lie to you, you moron, that excuse was way too dumb to be a lie.

Also C-20 never went mad as Renslayer said. Because it was Renslayer who lied to you, Mobius. Because in the real world people are awful to get what we want and maybe you should take lessons from a prince.

Just as to remark Renslayer knew this and not just because it’s on her tempad, she also appear on the screen, proof she was listening. To do what I don’t know.

We go back to Loki who’s just being beaten by Sif again because Mobius, his friend, couldn’t let him sit on a chair while he checked if Loki told him the truth. We also see how all this beating isn’t really breaking Loki.

Although he has previously apologized to Sif and accepted his fault, now he’s just annoyed he has to hear her saying such things over and over and beating him.

Because beating people doesn’t make them better.

On another side, since Loki knew what he had to tell to Sif to make her stop I wonder why he didn’t repeat it… or why he didn’t try to think of a plan. Whatever.

Mobius drops there with the dumbest question of the year:

Mobius: What are you doing?

Loki has a sarcastic reply for his idiotic question:

Loki: Passing the time.

No, really, Mobius trapped him there, what was he thinking Loki was doing, playing poker with Sif?

So now is Mobius’ time for another dumb question:

Mobius: Do you care about her?

I mean, after you called her his female self that he, a seismic narcissist, have some demented crush on, of course Loki wants to open his heart to you. Who wouldn’t?

Mobius tells him to shut up and then asks if he really think you deserve to be alone… as if this was Loki’s idea and not something Mobius’ tried to brainwash him into believing. Loki doesn’t reply which upset Mobius as when Mobius says ‘jump’ Loki should only say ‘how high?’, so Loki point out how MOBIUS TOLD HIM TO SHUT UP. Because Mobius is not making any sense and Loki needs to lampshade this.

Mobius asks him if he thinks he deserves to be alone.

Loki replies he doesn’t know which means his pretty words to Sif were all pretty words. He didn’t believe them, not fully. Thanks God.

So now the conversation starts to get surreal.

Mobius: You better figure it out quick, because the nexus event the two of you caused, whatever that connection is, can bring this whole place down.

Okay, I’m not following this, after belittling Loki’s relation with Sylvie now he’s trying to tell him he has to get together with her for the sake of bringing down the TVA? That’s why Loki has to get with Sylvie? Why he doesn’t have to believe he deserves to be alone? So now Loki’s crush is no more demented but a key to throw down the TVA?

What was sticking him with Sif then, an attempt at manipulating him into not getting in relationship with other Lokis? So Mobius knew already he and Sylvie had a crush on each other? Because it looked like he stuck Loki with Sif PRIOR to knowing it.

I’m lost but whatever, Mobius decide THEY have to do something so Loki remarks on the use of plural.

Mobius asks him to swear Sylvie didn’t implant whose memories in C-20.

It’s a dumb question as not only Loki could lie but Sylvie could have lied to him and anyway Renslayer lied so it’s not like she’s safe to trust either.

Loki vouches for Sylvie and Mobius asks:

Mobius: So, I just have to trust the word of two Lokis?

No, please, Mobius, don’t. You’ve wasted everyone’s time questioning Loki when you don’t believe him. Really, I don’t get why you wanted to use someone you don’t trust. What did you come there for if you can’t believe him?

At this Loki, who’s at first hurt, replies:

Loki: How about the word of a friend?

And okay, it has to be Stockholm Syndrome talking. That or masochism. Because friends don’t close you in a timeloop in which you get beaten and humiliated for all that time so really Loki, don’t be Mobius’ friend.

So now Mobius admits Loki was right about the TVA from the beginning, which was damn time and would have realized it sooner had he spared 5 minutes of his time on this and tells him if Loki wants to save Sylvie he has to trust him. Because Mobius never lied and manipulated him, no, really. You’re lucky Loki has Stockholm Syndrome so of course he’ll trust you.

So Mobius goes:

Mobius: Okay. You could be whoever, whatever you wanna be, even someone good. I mean, just in case anyone ever told you different.

Yeah, someone did. Should I refresh you, your memory Mobius?

Mobius: You weren't born to be king, Loki. You were born to cause pain and suffering and death. That's how it is, that's how it was, that's how it will be. All so that others can achieve their best versions of themselves.

Or maybe you prefer this, which includes Sylvie too?

Mobius: You two, what a pair! Gosh! Unbelievable. Wherever you go, it's just death, destruction, the literal ends of worlds.

I mean, if this is Mobius’ way to apologize for all the things it tossed at Loki, it honestly sucks, and it gets worse because he’s merely doing because he needs him to cooperate with him because, guess what? As Loki told him from the start the TVA sucks and had been lying to him and he just didn’t want to see and has exchanged his own belief in the TVA for ‘truth’.

I mean, he’s probably being as sincere as he can be, as we know he has wondered if Loki could be good, but he has been so manipulative with Loki up until now that really, him saying Loki this when he needs Loki to trust him, only feels like him being manipulative.

Are we sure Mobius isn’t another Loki variant, one Renslayer wanted to keep as her pet?

Still I think Loki understood this was Mobius’ way to apologize as he smiles and follows him.

The moment they leave the Timeloop they find themselves face to face with Renslayer and four hunters.

And here it’s where the writer forgot Mobius too is supposed to be smart. For start because it didn’t dawn on him to remove Loki’s collar from him, to continue because when Renslayer points out she has something of hers he returns the Tempad, their only way to leave the place, to her.

I can explain this merely by going under the idea that Mobius still think that the fact they’re friends would push Renslayer to cover up for him, which clearly means he doesn’t know/understand her as much as he thinks.

Mbatha-Raw:

“She’s really worked hard to get where she is, so she’s not going to be reckless with the power that has been hard-earned for her. She, in some ways, is deeply indoctrinated with the ways of the TVA. She’s completely conditioned by their thinking and the idea of the Sacred Timeline, and the concept of free will is quite alien to her. She’s a believer. She believes in law and order, and it’s done quite well for her so far in terms of getting her to where she is. She’s not going to abandon her philosophy lightly.”

[‘Loki’: Owen Wilson Says Renslayer’s Betrayal of Mobius in Episode 4 Was ‘Pretty Shocking’

]

And in a way the situation we’re facing is really funny because Mobius believes Renslayer betrayed him… but she believes he’s the one who betrayed her. And this in a way mirrors Mobius’ relation with Loki.

To Renslayer Mobius had no right to doubt her, to question her decisions, to doubt the TVA even if the TVA is lying and she knows it. To her, Mobius is the dog who peed on the carpet.

Mobius instead somehow believed to be an equal friend, to whom she owed the truth, so he’s hurt by her acting as if he was just her disobedient dog.

She lied to him, manipulated him, demanded from him to be a loyal TVA supporter who only seek for her approbation and when he goes and doesn’t do this, she punishes him by pruning him. She doesn’t even try to beat him into submission again, she just get rid of him because her faith in her cult is more important than their ‘friendship’.

She’s a real Nazi in a way.

But the irony is that Mobius was the same with Loki and now he experiences what it means to be on the other side.

His emotional speech:

Mobius: What's the problem, Ravonna? You know where I'd go if I could go anywhere? Wherever it is I'm really from. Yeah, wherever I had a life before the TVA came along. Maybe I had a jet ski. That's what I'd like to do. Just riding around on my jet ski.

…it changes nothing in Renslayer’s mind, she’s like him, she doesn’t want the truth, the honesty, she wants submission but she’s not even going to waste time to work him into submission again. She probably plans to replace him with another Mobius Variant who’ll be more obedient this time.

Note that pruning him hurts her… but she has it done anyway, the way Mobius had oh so many branches pruned. Because that’s what they did at the TVA.

It’s a damn case of “‘I never thought leopards would eat MY face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party”.

Mobius never thought he would be the one ending up pruned, being a Variant and ending up pruned was other people’s problem, Loki’s problem, not Mobius’, Mobius was one of the good guys, he was created by the TVA so such things wouldn’t happen to him.

Now… this is the same problem I had with B-15.

We are supposed to feel sorry for Mobius and I probably would feel very sorry for him if he hadn’t been a complete asshole to Loki up till 5 minutes ago. I get maybe they were aiming to take advantage of Owen Wilson’s fans, who loved Mobius no matter what they do or to how Loki and Renslayer still mourn him because Stockholm syndrome pushes you to do this and your pet dog is always your pet dog even if you decide to shoot him down because, to you, he’s rabid but all I felt was that Mobius had got what he deserved, what he did to Loki was done to him.

And this is a goddamn shame because I would have been a lot sadder if Mobius hadn’t act in such a way in this episode.

I mean, yes, in episode 1 & 2 he was still manipulative but he had genuine moments in which he was sympathetic and didn’t want to gratuitously hurt people.

Mobius: What are you doing? Hey! These people are scared.

Hunter D-90: They're about to die. They should be scared.

Mobius: Okay. Not of us.

I love this scene because he just stood up for those people even if he had nothing to gain, just because he didn’t want the TVA to scare them even if they were about to die and would have been rest if they weren’t to die. This wasn’t manipulation, this was Mobius being a decent being and… and this episode just tossed it away.

His whole interrogation scene with Loki, from the moment he just had him beaten and belittled to ‘soften him’ to how he ends by having him beaten and belittled again even though the case is closed is nonsense and disgusting. That’s not what a decent human being would do.

On a positive note Mbatha-Raw is very good in the scene. It’s clear a part of her is suffering, yet another remains hard. She turns her face away because she can’t watch when Mobius is pruned, even the way she squeezed her eyes shut and then relaxed them but kept them closed is a nice detail and so is the way she looks at Loki, still hurt by Mobius’ disappearance but firm, how she takes long breaths after saying they’ve to wait for her, how she first looks down, as if ashamed then up, as if to ask the moral support of her gods or whatever and then closes her eyes and mouth as if to swallow it all and go on.

She’s good.

Mind you, I loved how Owen Wilson gave his speech and I love Tom Hiddleston’s reacting to him being pruned which interestingly opposes to Mbatha-Raw’s as he keeps his eyes wide open and he tries to reach for him where she instead close them and kind of tries to ‘hold away’ from him, her body posture close where Tom Hiddleston’s is open and then he closes his eyes, calm down and straighten up before facing her in a ‘it was your doing’ way. He let himself be carried away but he turns to look at her so as to keep eye contact with her and she’s the one who has to lower her gaze.

Now, I personally wish Loki wouldn’t mourn Mobius because really, Mobius wasn’t good to him, but since he’s supposed to do it, I can only say Tom Hiddleston’s performance here is good as well.

Very fitting also the background music, especially when Loki is escorted through the corridor and now he seems to be worn out as he waves a little as he walks and then… he stops, and I’m not sure if there’s a reason or he just waves a little for the sake of him being emotionally hurt and the guards have to steady him and then force him to resume walking. In itself that pause was good to animate a walking scene who otherwise would have been pretty boring… but I don’t know if there’s a reason for it beyond that. But well, Loki had been beaten up till now so maybe he has a right at also being physically worn out.

So anyway Renslayer go to see Sylvie and as soon as she does she claims someone was there with her and wants to know who. Well, I guess the fact Sylvie is soaked was a dead giveaway so really, they should have found her a hairdryer before sending her back there. Besides why not to get inside the Roxxcart where it’s dry, instead than outside?

I get that outside, under the rain, the scene came a lot more dramatic and so technically better but logic is king of important as well. Giving away that Sylvie was taken outside to chat, as Sylvie has no bruises on herself, is dumb. I mean, had B-15 given her a black eye they could have at least pass if for B-15 taking her revenge on her but like this… it’s so dumb…

In fact as soon as Renslayer discovers it was B-15, she decides she too had been compromised and people has to search for her. Not that it matters as they won’t find her. After all she has a Tempad and has learnt she can hide in apocalypses.

Sylvie smiles at her smugly because she is enjoying seeing Renslayer under pressure and how could she not? It was Renslayer who captured her.

Sylvie is then taken away but this time only by two guards because they’ve decided giving her more when the last time she managed to punch one is useless. No, actually Renslayer might have figured if Sylvie has remained in her ‘theater’ (yeah, she and Loki were put into rooms called ‘time theaters’) instead than escaping with B-15, she’s willing to let herself be dragged to meet the Time-Keepers.

Or not, the plot had the characters act in dumb or irrational ways way too often so I don’t know.

Sylvie is anyway taken in front of the same door in front of which Loki is waiting. I love how she whispers to him an ‘You okay?’ even if I would prefer it wasn’t because she’s also crushing on him but because she was touched by how he gave her appreciation and validation. Loki nods once, deeply, but doesn’t verbally replies which is kind of worrisome per se.

Renslayer says she’ll handle things from there and open the door of the golden elevator with her ‘electronic key’ meaning when Sylvie got there the first time, as she was without key, she wouldn’t have been able to do anything. Loki and Sylvie follow Renslayer while the guards remain behind.

Sylvie asks Renslayer is she remembers her and when she answers affirmatively, always calling her Variant, she asks her which was her Nexus event. To Renslayer who asks her what does it matter she replies:

Sylvie: It was enough to take my life from me, lead to all of this. Must have been important. So, what was it?

I feel bad for Sylvie because maybe she doesn’t remember Miss Minute’s video (by the way did Miss Minute had a reason to exist or we’re meant to forget about her?) in which they said to create a Nexus even it’s enough to be late for work. Maybe Sylvie wasn’t meant to be there to play but should have been in the Vault with Thor and Odin learning about how glorious was Asgard for having beaten the Frost Giants. Maybe she was just meant to play ball instead than dolls but in short, what destroyed her life didn’t have to be important because that’s the kind of jerks the TVA is.

They punish someone for doing something completely innocent without having any idea it was the ‘wrong’ thing, ‘wrong’ being a matter of perspective because I bet they pruned all the Lokis who didn’t sent the Frost Giants in the Vault or didn’t try to kill Thor or didn’t attack New York because THOSE WERE THINGS MEANT TO HAPPEN.

The TVA is not about morality, I wonder if it’s about the entertainment of the Time-Keepers.

Anyway Renslayer smirks and then tells Sylvie she doesn’t remember. Honestly I doubt she doesn’t remember and even if she did, she could have made up something but she just prefers to hurt Sylvie by implying her Nexus event was so unimportant it wasn’t even worth remembering.

The door open and they are in a bluish, foggy place. There are two guards giving them their back and two instead facing them and, in front of them there are the three space lizards known as the Time-Keepers. Hum… the impression I get is that the place is foggy because it’s freezing cold since there are white bits that seem ice but… I’m not sure as nobody seems to be feeling cold.

Renslayer announces to the Time-Keeper she had brought them the Variants.

Now I was thinking it was poor effects, as the space lizard talk in a mechanical way and are so still they seem robot and even when their face move as they speak they seem mechanical… but no, it’ll turn out they’re robot. Whatever, I’m running ahead.

The lizards ask them what they have to say before being killed.

Okay, so Loki says and I quote:

Loki: Is that the only reason you brought us here? To kill us? I've lost track of the number of times I've been killed, so go ahead. Do your worst.

And I am WAIT, YOU’VE BEEN KILLED BEFORE? EVEN IF YOU’RE STILL UNDER THE WRONG BELIEF THOR TOSSED YOU INTO AN ABYSS, WHICH HE DIDN’T AS HE WANTED TO SAVE YOU AND YOU LET GO DUE TO ODIN’S HIGHLY MOTIVATIONAL WORDS (really, Odin should write demotivational posters quote along with Mobius) THAT COUNTS ONLY AS ONE. YOU DIDN’T DIE IN “THE AVENGERS”. CAN WE HOPE THIS MEANS WE’LL BE REVEALED WHAT HAPPENED IN THE YEAR IN BETWEEN “THOR” AND “THE AVENGERS”? OR IT’S JUST TO BE MEANT RANDOM BABBLING? PLEASE, LET ME KNOW!

Anyway okay, back to normal.

The Time-keepers tell them they’re no threat to them and Sylvie counters she believes they’re scared. She tries to get closer but Renslayer uses the Time Twister so she can’t.

The Time-Keepers complains they’re just a ‘cosmic disappointment’ why I’ve no idea as it’s not like they created the Variants so the Variants aren’t supposed to please them, and tell to delete them.

Sylvie tries to protest she’s not done with them but Renslayer tries to use the Time Twister and only manages to stop her because B-15 all of sudden comes to rescue because the TVA did a horrible job at tracking her apparently. B-15 disables Loki and Sylvie’s collars, then she mockingly repeats the TVA motto ‘For all time. Always’, before handing Sylvie her sword that originally had been put as a trophy in Renslayer’s office.

The two guards behind immediately knock down B-15 who didn’t even bother bring her weapon or, if she had, didn’t pull it out. Renslayer orders to the four guards to protect the Time-Keepers, so now it’s Renslayers and 4 guards against Loki and Sylvie. Renslayer decides not to fight, to be honest because the guards evidently had been given a better version of the Supersoldier serum and can comfortably stand against Loki and Sylvie with no problems whatsoever.

Really, if I don’t get an explanation on why human Variants are all of sudden strong enough they can stand against Loki I’ll think those guys have never seen “The Avengers”.

In fact the 2 guards fighting Loki are about to overpower Loki who asks for Sylvie’s help as she’s holding against her 2 guards just fine and she hands him her sword. Meanwhile, despite being weaponless, Sylvie… kicks to unconsciousness? Is that what she did? a guard, steals his weapon and instead than prune his companion with it, she stabs her. Because, you know, this is cooler and rule of cool always win.

All while Renslayer watches because whoever rules at the TVA has never read the ‘Evil Overlord list’ rule 75 “I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.”

Actually there’s a huge list of rules the TVA ignored but this is the most important at the moment.

Anyway while the camera ignores Loki fighting with two guards in the background, we’re supposed to focus on Sylvie and Renslayer. Sylvie gives Renslayer a sporting chance letting her pick up a weapon. No idea why, really. Who cares about sport when you’re there to kill the Time-Keepers?

Besides, who cares about Loki? This is Sylvie’s moment to look cool.

Anyway Renslayer tells her this time she’ll finish the job, they fight, she ends on the ground, manages to turn their positions and punches Renslayer into unconsciousness, just in time for Loki to finish killing his guards. Why she didn’t kill Renslayer? Because the plot needs Renslayer to make troubles afterward so Sylvie, despite having a weapon and having used it to kill a guard, only punches Renslayer, which she should hate as much as the Time-Keepers, into unconsciousness.

Let me facepalm, please.

Now the Time-Keepers go:

Time-Keeper 1: You're a child of the Time-Keepers too, Sylvie. We can talk.

And okay, I’m not following this. Are they implying they created the Variants? Are they trying to pass themselves for Gods? Or it’s just Sylvie they created?

Sylvie tosses against one of the sword Loki gave her back, decapitating him. The Time-Keepers starts laughing as it turns out the Time-Keeper she decapitate was a robot.

I get “Wizard of Oz” feelings and I swear if it turn out this was created by an evil Loki Variant I’m gonna scream.

The Time-Keepers somehow deactivates, not sure if someone did it, or it was Sylvie pointing a weapon at them.

Sylvie picks up the head and, seeing it’s a robotic one and never having heard of Ultron and Vision, decides since they had robotic head they’re fake, mindless androids. Which yes, they have to be because we’re missing 2 episodes and they were beaten too easily but she’s not supposed to be aware of the episode count.

Whatever, Loki decides, I think, this would probably be a good moment to declare his love only they forget Renslayer is alive and she prunes Loki in front of Sylvie. At this point Renslayer forgets her warrior skills and Sylvie easily rips her weapon from her but, instead than pruning Renslayer as she asks, she informs her she’ll tell her everything. Meaning she will use her powers to force Renslayer to be cooperative.

The episode apparently ends, with the ending credit replaced by a love song, “If you love me” by Brenda Lee. Just in case you didn’t get Loki was about to make a Love confession.

When the ending… well, ends though, we see Loki opening his eyes and wondering if he’s dead and in Hel.

He’s told:

“Not yet. But you will be unless you come with us.”

As he looks up he sees four version of himself, a child, an old man, a POC and an alligator.

I can’t help but point out the costume the old Loki is wearing, despite being based on the one old Loki wears in the comics somehow feels like a poor cosplay.

Behind them the ruins of a city which, I bet, is New York. I wonder if they’re in an apocalypse created by the attack of New York succeeding.

And so the episode ends.

Now… this episode is, plotwise, better than the previous, as the previous was basically an excuse to get Loki and Sylvie to spend time together so as for them to fall in love. Oh and the revelation everyone in the TVA is a variant but really, Sylvie could have told Loki that in Ep 2 and we wouldn’t have missed anything big.

This one episode as, instead, a plot… but there are some things that just don’t add up and felt tossed there at random. I mostly mourn how the ruined Mobius’ character because this episode seriously damaged the sympathy I had for him, with that useless decision to have Loki belittled and beaten for… fundamentally nothing since he doesn’t believe him. Then he further insults him for falling for Sylvie before he decides to switch sides and no, Loki shouldn’t believe all the cruel things he told him because… hum… they weren’t true because Mobius is his friend. Not like how he said he was before, this time he’s really his friend the fact he needs him doesn’t matter, he’s not like Loki who uses people he’s one of the good guys of the TVA, you know, the ones who belittle and prune Variants unaware they’re Variants too.

Okay, I’m still very salty on this bit but I just didn’t enjoy the useless abuse of Loki.

It wasn’t funny, it had no purpose and it also ruined Mobius as a character.

It even impacted negatively on Sif which was fundamentally used to beat Loki up over and over when she already had, just for Mobius’ purposes, whatever they were.

Honestly I’m sick and tired of Marvel thinking that abusing of someone is a funny joke, especially if the one doing the beating is a girl.

The only thing it serves was to remark Sif had no love for Loki, which everyone seeing the movie could have guessed already.

Another thing I didn’t quite enjoy was how this is turning into Sylvie’s story. Is the purpose of this series pass the Loki baton to Sylvie?

We have the guards of the TVA being as strong as supersoldiers so far without explanation whatsoever, with Loki, who, in Asgard was trained to fight, in “Thor” could hold his ground against Frost Giants and even fight with Thor and who, in “The Avengers” gets punched by Cap and merely turns his face before he hits Cap with the sceptre and sent him flying and this not with magical powers but merely with his strength. And he does so TWICE, completely able to avoid Caps’ blows. Caps kicks him in the face and Loki remains standing and tosses him on the ground again.

Loki lets himself be arrested because:

a) Iron Man joins and he manages to send him on the ground by shooting at him and

b) because this was part of the plan.

Coulson shot him with a super powerful weapon and still Loki got up and left the Helicarrier on his feet. When Thor tried to hit Loki with his hammer, Loki could stop the blow by having it hit his sceptre without him even wavering on his feet.

And then okay, this Loki hadn’t lived through them but in “Thor: The Dark World” he could hold his ground against elves while in “Thor: Ragnarok” against Hela’s undead Asgardian soldiers.

And now we’ve those Variants of humans who can give him problems? Sylvie even gives him his weapon!

And all this while Sylvie, who had to learn to fight on her own, can hold her ground weaponless against two of them and save time to fight and beat Renslayer too?

Whatever, let’s hope we’ll get an explanation.

And then there’s the romance between Sylvie and Loki, which is useless or the whole idea Sylvie is Loki and all those other guys plus the alligator are Loki and I’d like to know what decides they’re Loki variants since they’re clearly genetically different from him… never mention one of them managed to get old when Loki supposedly died ‘young’ in the sacred timeline so what? The truth is he didn’t die in “Avengers: Infinity War” and grew old?

And why genetically different Variants of Loki were allowed to exist? How come this didn’t cause a Nexus event?

But whatever, let’s put aside my complains about the plot holes or the messed characterization and the nonsense dialogues and talk of the good stuff, like the acting or the director’s job or the music which really fit some scenes. There’s some really good stuff here.

And well, let’s mention the plot is not all to waste.

There were some good ideas in this.

To have the TVA agents discover they’re also Variants like the people they discriminated and pruned could have been great, I mean, one of the best scenes of “Thor” is Loki discovering he’s a Frost Giant so this could have been SO VERY COOL.

The Lokis forming a bond also had potential as idea on paper. If they were the same this could have pushed them to learn to appreciate themselves, if they were different, this could have pushed them to appreciate others. They didn’t need the romantic story and the idea they’re the same only they’re completely different so the fact they’re the same seems an idiocy.

Really, from a series who give space to a lot of female characters, who don’t just talk among them about men but about plot related issues, I don’t see why we need to pair together the two Lokis.

Mobius being Loki’s friend could have been great if he had acted as such and not as an abusive pet owner whose dog has peed on the carpet. But whatever, it could have been great to have Renslayer do the same to him, if this were to be acknowledged, if it were to be acknowledged how they both are poor friends.

Also Mobius’ death could have been a lot more moving if they hadn’t ruined him in this very same episode.

Seeing Sif again and learning of Loki’s past mischief? Could have been great if it wasn’t used for what turned into a torture scene or ‘police brutality’ who however wasn’t meant to be seen as bad as it was because it’s a woman who beat Loki.

Even the police brutality or the fascist agency could have been great plot point if it wasn’t they’re barely brushed over.

Loki reflecting on his behaviour could have been good if it wasn’t inserted into what was basically a torture scene.

Little Sylvie’s backstory could have been awesome if it had been realist, if this little escaping child had had knowledge of a Tempad and had had someone to help her.

I mean, there are some genuine good things in this plot… but then they got ruined by poor planning or poor explanation or abrupt character OOC.

It’s a pity.

We’ll see if episode 5 will redeem himself.

[imagine-loki]

Threats and Collateral

TITLE: Threats and Collateral CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: One-Shot  AUTHOR:  wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki’s reaction to his SO being brought in to the TVA as a way to control him.

RATING: General Audience NOTES/WARNINGS: None

Loki scowled at the contraption around his neck, limiting his power. Looking around the containment area, there were many creatures and beings with similar around their own necks. Since being captured by the TVA, he had been stripped of his armoured clothes and placed in grotesque and frankly uncomfortable attire and given food that he assumed the palace hounds would turn their noses up at.

He was yet to be spoken to by anyone of notable seniority as to what was the counts of which he was being held. They mentioned him altering the timeline but nothing more. He had to wait until he had a trial to know what was going to happen. Or so he thought.

Loki never liked being manhandled, as most beings tended not to, but being grabbed and forcibly handcuffed made him eye those around him carefully. The guards that did so, did it quickly while another man stood back and watched studiously which brought Loki’s attention to him. There was no manner to age the man in front of him, not with where he was, so there was no telling if he could defeat him or not in hand-to-hand combat, though being handcuffed and collared also was to his disadvantage.

“Follow me.”

That was all the man said before turning to walk towards one of the elevators that dotted the walls of the room Loki was in. He had known better than to attempt to go near one before, the singed clothing and black burns on the floor and the unconscious what he assumed to be corpses of different beings telling him to do so without authorisation was not to be recommended.

Though he did not trust the official of the TVA, Loki knew that whatever they wanted, they had no reason to burn him as they would not be so dim as to do so in such a fashion, ergo, he followed sceptically. Passing through the white line on the floor without being harmed and into the metal contraption to bring him to Norns’ knows where in the building.

“I am Mobius M Mobius and you, are Loki.”

“You heard of me, I’m honoured?” Loki eyed him carefully.

“Do you know where I am taking you?”

“You’re taking me somewhere to kill me.”

“No, I’m taking you some place to talk.”

“Well, I don’t like to talk.”

“But you do like to lie, which you just did. Because we both know you love to talk. Talkie talkie.”

Loki eyed the man with utter disgust at the juvenile and irritating manner in which he spoke.

The elevator came to a halt and the doors opened, bringing the two men to a room bare of all objects bar a table, two chairs on opposite sides of it and some stationary equipment.

Mobius indicated for Loki to sit at one side while he sat on the opposite side. “This is the TVA.”

“I know exactly what this place is.” Loki interrupted. “The Time Keepers have built quiet the circus and I see that the clowns are playing their parts to perfection.” “Big metaphor guy. I love it. It makes you sound smart.” “I am smart.” “I know.” “Okay.”

“Okay.” “What do you want from me?”

Mobius replayed the footage of Loki taking the Tesseract and explained how that was not the original timeline and then showed him what his actual timeline was, the events on Asgard with the Aether and the Dark Elves, him taking the throne under the guise of Odin, Odin’s death, the return of Hela, the destruction of Asgard and finally, the less than comfortable scene were Thanos choked him and snapped his neck in one fell swoop. With an unconscious rubbing of his throat, he looked at the agent across from him. “And you want me to help you because?”

“We need your unique Loki perspective.”

“I don’t believe you.” Loki shook his head slightly. “I don’t think you believe anyone. This Loki variant needs to be fixed.”

“But why is it the Loki variant when those misfit Midgardians clearly are the ones that altered time. How was I supposed to know that what I did was altering time when they were the ones altering it?” Loki pointed out. “The breaking of reality was not my doing, but theirs, have them fix it.” “But you don’t want us to do that, not really. Because if we did that, you would have to be imprisoned indefinitely as you are not the true timeline Loki and you know that you will face a less than pleasant end soon. But if you help us, you get to use all these traits you love so dearly to actually do something and not be destroyed. “ “What happens if I help you and fix all of this, let me guess, you’ll imprison me then?” “No, then you will be offered to stay here and work for us and fix mess after mess for…well, who knows how long. Time works a little differently here.”

“So, I help you, I‘m free to work for you, I don’t help you, I sit in uncomfortable clothes waiting to die of old age, which, if I am correct, may never actually happen here?” Loki checked.

“Something to that effect.” Loki thought over his options. “I am not interested.” “I thought you might say that.” Mobius activated his computer screen and clicked on buttons. With how he was doing it, Loki was suspicious that he was not actually typing anything at all but pretending to do so to try and get Loki to change his mind. But after a few moments, the elevator door behind them rung out and opened.

At first, Loki did not care enough to turn around. He suspected it was either someone to forcibly get him to comply, in which case, the ignoring served its purpose of not acknowledging such or it was guards to bring him to holding once more or to his new prison cell, which again, he did not care to acknowledge. But then, he felt the urge to look, especially when he sensed someone looking at him. When he turned, his eyes widened. “What?” He tried to rise from his seat but was pushed back down by a guard that seemed to just appear beside him. He glared angrily at Mobius. “How?” “We knew there was a high probability you would say no, we really needed you to say yes, so we brought a little incentive here for you,” Mobius explained. “I have studied practically every moment of your life. There is one single being in the universe you will willingly do anything for.” He pointed behind Loki. “Your adoptive parents, your adopted brother, sure, you’ll do stuff for them, when it suits. You used to be far more compliant, but then you grew up and realised your brother mattered more. You killed your biological father but her…you would do anything for her, wouldn’t you?” “No.” Both answered immediately.

Mobius looked at them both as sat back slightly before pointing to Loki. “He’s the better liar.” “I told him not to do anything stupid and he thwarted that coronation and literally did the most stupid thing possible letting go at the Bifrost, so no, he would not do anything for me.” She glared over at Loki who looked at the table shamefully.

“Yes, there’s enough time for domestic arguments at a later point, but we really need to get started on this.” Mobius focused on the matter at hand again.

“Wait, isn’t bringing her here altering the timeline even more so?” Loki pointed out. “I feel as though there’s a significant case of double-standards going on here.”

“It’s not really affecting the timeline because the timeline is already altered,” Mobius explained boredly.

“How could it possibly not be affecting the timeline when having her being here instead of being where she would actually be is affecting the timeline?” “Because she is integral to getting you to fix the timeline,” Mobius argued. “But she was doing something when you took her, now that is not going to get done and that affects the timeline.” Loki countered.

“We need her here to get you to say yes so you fix the timeline you broke, ergo, she fits this timeline.”

“Wait, I am here because Loki broke a timeline so to fix the timeline he broke, we have to break the one I was in?” She clarified.

“I didn’t break it,” Loki explained. “Thor and his Midgardian friends went back in time because they wanted to change the future but I touched something I was not supposed to touch while they were doing that because their attempts to get it went awry because they are idiots, so technically, they broke the timeline and I am being forced to fix it because it apparently my touching the Tesseract goes against TVA rules but them going back in time and altering the whole future does not.”

“By breaking the timeline I was on, which in itself is a breach of these rules?” She asked in disbelief.

“Exactly,” Loki confirmed.

“No,” Mobius stated a mere nanosecond after.

“It seems like it to me.” She looked at Loki for confirmation. “Me too.” Loki concurred.

“Well, it’s not.” Both looked at Mobius sceptically. “So, you help us and everyone is happy.” Mobius clapped his hands together. “So, let’s get you started as an agent.” Mobius pressed a button and Loki fell through a portal in the floor. Mobius rose to his feet and straightened his jacket boredly. “These men will bring you to the guest rooms.” “I think I rather do something while I wait.” “I don’t think so.” “I wasn’t asking.” She gave a smile that said she would not be dissuaded. “This is a big place, I am sure you can find somewhere for me and good luck trying to control him.” She laughed before walking out of the room.

Mobius sighed. “I immediately regret this decision.” He rose to his feet and went into the elevator. After a few minutes, the doors opened to show Loki looking at him in a shirt, tie, jacket and pants. “That better?”

“It will suffice.” Loki walked in and stood next to him.

Mobius remained looking forward as the elevator moved again. “I just need to grab a few things, and we will begin.”

Loki said nothing in response.

Mobius walked out of the elevator and the door remained open until his return a minute later, in entirely different attire and looking almost as though he had showered. He fiddled with his tie as he walked back in.

“I have to say,” Loki stepped towards him and centred his tie as he spoke. “I think it’s adorable that you think you can manipulate me. I am ten steps ahead of you.” “Is that right?” Mobius barely had a hint of curiosity in his voice. “Oh, it is.” Loki sneered. “Nor can she. Though, I am curious, where is she?” “Gone to dictate to whoever is stuck dealing with her.” Mobius looked straight ahead. “She will be fine.” “She had better, or else,” Loki snarled. “Or else what?” Mobius glanced sideways, no emotion in his voice.

“Or else I am going to burn this place to the ground,” Loki swore with a smile.

[iamnmbr3]

New Loki 30 Second Clip Thoughts

it took me a while to get myself to watch this one just bc I felt pretty nervous after the last trailer but it was actually pretty good

The Good

This was hands down my favorite of any of the trailers BY FAR. None of it made me actively cringe. It was quite watchable and felt much better and more in character and actually exciting. Also I liked the music and the way the shots were intercut.

Loki felt much more Loki-like in terms of his affect. His expressions were for the most part controlled and subtle and seemed much more characteristic of him which was lovely to see. His movements were also smaller and he stood stiller in a way that's more normal for him; there weren’t many grand, exaggerated gestures. I felt like I could see Loki in this trailer rather than just Tom Hiddleston playing some other role. 

We’ve seen the Asgard clip before but I’m still super excited by it. 

The tone of this trailer felt like it leaned far more towards exciting and dramatic, rather than silly, which was definitely really nice to see and hopefully reflective of the series as a whole. 

The trailer actually felt like it centered on Loki rather than on the TVA or the TVA characters which also was really nice.

Given that we see Mobius actively shushing Loki and not letting him get a word in edgewise I have marginally more hope that he might be intentionally being written as grating. If he’s supposed to be an antagonist then he’s a great character because he embodies all the people who treated Loki with a double standard and refused to listen to him.

Miss “tick tock it’s cringe’o’clock” Minutes had no speaking part in the trailer which immediately earns it lots of points. If the writers intuition for her to be a Jar-Jar on steroids intentionally cringy character they’re doing great bc every time I see her I wanna break her dumb clock face.

The Bad

I don’t trust Disney AT ALL. So while this trailer is better I still remember all the issues in the other trailers - like Loki using ooc dialogue like “crap” or being stripped and humiliated as a joke (I think everyone would be outraged about that if it happened to Nat in the Black Widow movie) and I find it hard to trust them that this new and better trailer is actually more reflective of the show than those first few trailers (tho I hope to be pleasantly surprised). I remember the Russos saying Steve an Bucky’s relationship (along with Steve and Tony and Wanda and Visions) would be a central aspect of IW/Endgame and that being complete lie. So yeah. The MCU does not have my confidence so even though this trailer is a positive sign I’m a lot more hesitant than I might otherwise be. 

Loki seems just a bit too docile here. His affect is much more Loki-like in this trailer, but he’s seems a bit too “tame.” Look at how loki handles being powerless and threatened in TDW. He acts as though it doesn’t concern him and shields himself by affecting carelessness (except for a few times when his facade cracks) and mocking his captors. Or think about how he acted with Natasha when he was captured by the Avengers and expecting to be tortured. He uses cutting humor and a veneer of coolness and threat as a shield when he’s vulnerable. Loki should snap and snarl when cornered. Or affect an unconcerned confident cool aloof air.

This is extremely nitpicky but I’m gonna talk about Loki’s hair (AGAIN) for a second. On the positive side I’m glad they explained the length difference with that laser cutting scene in the previous trailer. However, as of this trailer it’s still weird to me that it’s so fluffy/curly. I think it’s because it’s Tom’s actual hair vs a wig. The problem is that Loki’s hair-type basically changed without an in-universe explanation bc in-universe his hair even when it’s short tends to be very straight and sleek. 

The Ugly

Based on some of the publicity it seems the show is taking the position that Loki has never been powerless before and this is the first time he’s been out of his element. That seems to be why they’ve written him as a bit too docile here. It’s like the writers bought into Loki’s posturing and thought all those others times he was powerless and out of control he was actually in control and fine and unruffled rather than just ACTING like it. In actuality he’s almost never relaxed or in-control during his screen time in the MCU. The closest is probably the “never doubt that I love you” scene; after that everything in his life just keeps going wrong. 

They mistook personality for circumstance and confused Loki ACTING in control with him BEING in control so when they thought they were changing his circumstances by making him no longer in control for the first time, what they actually did was change his personality by turning him into someone who no longer uses performative disdain, confidence and humor as a shield in vulnerable moments to put on a show of being in control, thus fundamentally altering his character and making him feel off and ooc. 

In the trailer with the forced stripping scene Loki very openly shows alarm when he sees the TVA agent kill someone. Contrast that to the scene when he’s walking to his death at Thanos’s hands. He’s not in control, nor does he think he is. He’s also confronting the being who tortured and mind-controlled him but although he’s frightened he acts cool and collected and in control to the bitter end. Because that’s how Loki is, even when he’s afraid. ESPECIALLY when he’s afraid. And that’s what they missed with the characterization I think. Though definitely he was cooler and more collected here. So that’s a big step in the right direction. But he still feels just a bit too declawed. This trailer was definitely a step in the right direction and I certainly hope that the actual series will fix some of these apparent issues and be even better. Loki is such a fascinating and special character with so much potential and I really want this to be good.  

[shadowsfascination]

Shadamy swordland AU - part 4

The air was knocked out of Amy’s lungs by his statement and her skin paled, drawing long shadows over her usually cheerful face. Her head began to ache and she rubbed her forehead as if to rub to swirl of emotions inside her away. Shadow on the other hand crossed his arms and legs, a hint of sorrow playing his ruby eyes.

Amy hunched her back and leaned on her hands, eyed Shadow and drew a breath. She intended to speak, but found no words. Instead she watched the light of the flickering candle cast constantly changing shadows on him, the warm tones of its’ flame contrasting with the now chilly atmosphere between them.

Unaware of it Shadow gritted his teeth in distress. At a total loss for words or the slightest idea how to behave in this situation, he chewed his lip and mildly pinched his arms. He couldn’t talk anymore. It was somehow beyond his control and he despised powerless it made him feel. His body froze and the longer the silence lasted, the further the words drifted away from him. Meanwhile his mind became a cacophony of tangled, blurry thoughts.

I have to snap out of this!

Shadow took a deep breath and closed his eyes, tracing the source of the messed up chaos energy in his body and changing it into a state of tranquillity again.

“Amy.”

The sudden renewed confidence in him broke not only the silence, but the seal between them as well. She couldn’t somehow deny his gaze and locked eyes with him, her eyes full of questions and expectations. He took her hands to cover them in his own. They were warmer than she’d expected.

“I cannot explain any of this to you.”

Amy frowned at him in annoyance and backed off to escape his hold, her eyes starting to blaze. A series of angry growls escaped her lips and she clenched fists. Her knuckles made a cracking sound from it.   “Please, oh please tell me you’re joking!”

He blinked twice, innocence and incomprehension written all over his face.

“I’m not. It would be a poor jest.” “You can’t just drop this bomb on me, fall quiet and then not explain any of it!”

She was prepared for a whole lot of it, but this? – she thought to herself. As soon as the thought landed in the conscious part of her mind she labelled herself a fool, questioning what she did expect from him. She knew Shadow… Why did she keep getting so thrown off by his untactile behaviour?

Blood rushed through her veins at high speed, causing a rustle in her ears. There it was again: the unwanted announcement of her bad temper. He’d soon have to deal with it if he didn’t make haste with properly explaining this… mess! At this rate, she still had control over her temper, but that could change in the blink of an eye. “You’re not saying anything yourself either. Although, knowing you, I hardly believe you don’t have any questions. I’m not throwing that in your face, am I?” “Well, can you blame me?!” “A little, yeah. You carry your heart on your tongue. You always know what to say.” “I don’t right now!” “I don’t believe you. I think you’re trying to spare my feelings and I don’t care for it.”

“Oh no, Shadow. You’re NOT shifting YOUR responsibility to explain who you actually are to me.” “I’m not.” The pink female whirled around and caught his attention with her fierce turquoise orbs. The warm, yellowish tones of the dancing flame were fighting for precedence with the luminary aqua in her eyes. He could see her hands gesturing, signalling him her upset internal state in the blurry background of his view.

“Then talk.”

“I can’t.” “Blast, Shadow! I can’t believe how incredibly rude you are to me! I’m your girlfriend! You’re keeping so many important things from me…I wonder how you in 300 darn years still achieve to be totally oblivious about how to act polite and chivalrous around a woman!”

“You should know me better than to mistake me for a soft, gooey fool who drops every aspect of his personality when with a woman. I might be a knight, but surely I’m not going to be your imaginary heroic boyfriend. Or always treat you like a queen when you’re being a huge pain in the ass, Amy. If that’s what you want, than better rethink your choices…”

Another of her romantic bubbles burst by another blunt statement, one he made her aware of she had it in the first place. Amy shifted her headstrong gaze to the red, green and blue-checked woolen blankets on the bed. Ignoring him, she distracted herself to follow the lines from the wrinkles on them with her fingers. The raw texture of the wool prickled through her gloves. It was a unpleasant feeling and she wondered how he was able to sleep under them.

“… Besides: I’m sharing my deepest secrets with you! Do you think that’s easy for me? What more could you possibly want?” “I want you to explain who on Mobius you are!” she shouted. “I want you to explain how it’s even possible to be that old? I wanna know what you are. A ghost? Some divine creature? And what about your strange, dark powers and the stone?! Did you have kids in the past? What does this all make you?!” Both their ears fell back, the awkward silence became deafening on them. Amy’s eyes reddened from the upcoming tears and anger. She bit her lip and bravely fought against the waterworks. A few salty tears quietly dripped down her cheeks though. Amy battled the strong tendency to cry once more. She felt so hideous whenever she cried- and she did see herself cry before. She felt she looked awful and so she did her uttermost best to hide it- in comparison to when she was a young girl. “What’s it make us? Just tell me.. something! ANYTHING will do!”

Her loud, hoarse voice cracked and she sniffed. Shadow’s hand squeezed and crinkled the blanket with force. He cursed under his breath.

“I KNOW, OKAY?! I know ANY words will do, but there are no words! NONE! They’re stuck! I don’t mean to be rude or inconsiderate of your feelings. Plagues! If anything, that’s what’s making me freeze up. I have no idea at all how to handle this!”

An upcoming sense of guilt sent a series of shivers down her spine. Her stupid pride and temper pushed him too far. A lump in her throat now accompanied the already present stress-related stomach aches.

“I don’t either… It’s scaring me.”

“That makes two of us.”

“Shadow, I don’t want to be the reason you’re holding back. And don’t tell me I’m not, because I know I am. Sorry about that. Just spill. I’ll learn to deal with it.”

“It’s not just that. I can’t verbalize all this.”

He concentrated on the chaos energy in his body once more, shards of them whirling around like a hive of bees. They seemed impossible to catch. His focus shifted to his irregular, high paced breathing and he breathed out some of the stress in his body. The shards immediately lowered their impossible-to-follow rhythm and he was finally able to catch some of them.

I never lose my confidence.

With a certain determination Shadow grasped her gloved hands. They were tensely folded into fists. Their touch revealed the quivers they were both trying to control. Shadow suddenly scooped her onto his lap and then rose to carry her bridal style, all much to Amy’s confusion.

“However, I can show you.”

His signature self-sufficient smile now curved his lips.

“Come on, I’ll carry you. I know how much you love this romance-stuff and I am a knight after all.” He blew out the candle, letting the darkness swallow them entirely before calling out the ‘Chaos control’. With this single chant he overcame the barrier of space and time. The darkness around them swiftly faded into a serene surrounding, filled with flowy, intertwining ruby, royal blue, shiny silver and regal gold ribbons of light.

They weightlessly soared through the pacifying, outstretching void. A sea of glowing orbs laid ahead of them and with confidence. Shadow commanded some of them to come closer, each carrying a memory. He let some fragments play out before her eyes to see for herself what happened in his past, for he was unable to tell her.

It was all there, right before Amy’s eyes: the mystery of what he was, his unknown origin and lonesome existence by surviving everyone he’d ever cared for in the past. He had roamed around the planet for years and years in order to keep his immortality a secret.

There was also a set of painful memories in which he was fighting, on the run or hiding for the many different faces of danger. They were a tad blurry and she couldn’t quite capture the meaning of it. The memory of the unknown hero neared and she witnessed his amazing powers, bravery and strength. It replaced her unsettling state of being with much softer feelings, easing her temper away. Amy smiled when concluded to herself that neither his physics or personality had seemed to change. The Shadow she knew now was as stubborn, blunt, socially awkward, dedicated, loyal and brave as in his past. Without having to verbalize he answered everything she wanted to know and more. Amy’s sweet, caring nature calmed her temper and she empathized with Shadow. She felt for the challenges his long life had brought upon him and pulled him into a deep, consoling hug.

“Shadow, I’m sorry I pushed you. I misjudged and jumped to the wrong conclusion.”

The scenery of his bedroom slowly faded in again and Shadow gently put her down. He lit the candle again. A shameful blush coloured his cheeks and played his eyes. His ears drooped backwards. Shadow felt like he was stripped to the bone. “I know everyone thinks I excel in many things, but communicating my inner state isn’t one of them. It heaves me down whenever I… feel strongly about something. Actions speak louder than a thousand words to me.”

“Thank you for being honest with me, for showing me all this. I imagine it must’ve been hard on you. You seemed so lonesome all these years.”

Hiding his face in his hands, he stared without focal point in his gaze. Shadow broke down internally, forcefully biting the insides of his lips to prevent him from crying like an infant.

“You’ve seen it for yourself now. You’ve seen me fight…My past…It’s the most private thing that I carry with me.”

“You don’t have to carry this burden all by yourself.” “You’re the very first to learn about it.”

“I already assumed I was, given your struggle to share it with me. I’m glad you told me.”

Amy smiled, trying to lighten up the mood again. “It’s awful and humiliating to share. I even killed in the past. I can’t help but feel like a monster sometimes. It haunts me.”

“You’re a knight. There’s times where you’re left no other choice than to eliminate your enemies. If anything, you’re a hero, Shadow.”

“I’m not! You weren’t there! Y-you d-d-don’t…You don’t know…”

He whimpered almost inaudibly while his shaking body sank into her embrace. Amy petted his back and caressed his quills while he hid his face in her chest. She cupped his tear-stained muzzle and made him look her in the eye. When his red, bloodshot eyes met her aqua ones they showed the strong-minded, yet hopelessly emotional Amy Rose Shadow had fallen for.

“There’s still so much that I don’t understand, but my emotional compass tells me you’re reliable and trustworthy. I’d like to believe you must’ve had your reasons… Tell me whenever you’re ready.”

She let herself fall back on the bed and pulled Shadow onto her, snuggling up to him under the prickly woolen blankets. On any other night the knight would’ve protested and let his self-discipline never allow her to stay over, but they were exhausted. Shadow and Amy couldn’t battle their minds anymore and forgot about the possible consequences they’d have to deal with in the morning. It didn’t seem to matter anymore. None of it. Even though their minds were loaded with troubles, which usually would’ve kept them awake, it somehow did not tonight.

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I struggled with this chapter. I’ll try to make the next one more uplifting (: Sometimes it seems to me that neither of these two dorks know a single thing about relationships, yet they have so much love to give to one another. 

I’d appreciate if you share your thoughts and send me a message if you find any annoying typo’s or grammar mishaps. 

@shadamyheadcanons, here you go!

[wolfpawn]

Threats and Collateral

Based on a request sent to me from an Anon - One shot ideas (if this is cool, please, thank you): how about Loki's reaction to his SO being brought in to the TVA as a way to control him?

Rating - General. 

Note - copious stills and gifs from the Loki Trailers and a lot of lifted dialogue from there too.  If anyone has other requests do not hesitate to ask :)

Loki scowled at the contraption around his neck, limiting his power. Looking around the containment area, there were many creatures and beings with similar around their own necks. Since being captured by the TVA, he had been stripped of his armoured clothes and placed in grotesque and frankly uncomfortable attire and given food that he assumed the palace hounds would turn their noses up at. 

He was yet to be spoken to by anyone of notable seniority as to what was the counts of which he was being held. They mentioned him altering the timeline but nothing more. He had to wait until he had a trial to know what was going to happen. Or so he thought. 

Loki never liked being manhandled, as most beings tended not to, but being grabbed and forcibly handcuffed made him eye those around him carefully. The guards that did so, did it quickly while another man stood back and watched studiously which brought Loki’s attention to him. There was no manner to age the man in front of him, not with where he was, so there was no telling if he could defeat him or not in hand-to-hand combat, though being handcuffed and collared also was to his disadvantage. 

“Follow me.” 

That was all the man said before turning to walk towards one of the elevators that dotted the walls of the room Loki was in. He had known better than to attempt to go near one before, the singed clothing and black burns on the floor and the unconscious what he assumed to be corpses of different beings telling him to do so without authorisation was not to be recommended. 

Though he did not trust the official of the TVA, Loki knew that whatever they wanted, they had no reason to burn him as they would not be so dim as to do so in such a fashion, ergo, he followed sceptically. Passing through the white line on the floor without being harmed and into the metal contraption to bring him to Norns’ knows where in the building. 

“I am Mobius M Mobius and you, are Loki.”

“You heard of me, I’m honoured?” Loki eyed him carefully. 

“Do you know where I am taking you?”

“You’re taking me somewhere to kill me.”

“No, I’m taking you some place to talk.”

“Well, I don’t like to talk.”

“But you do like to lie, which you just did. Because we both know you love to talk. Talkie talkie.”

Loki eyed the man with utter disgust at the juvenile and irritating manner in which he spoke. 

The elevator came to a halt and the doors opened, bringing the two men to a room bare of all objects bar a table, two chairs on opposite sides of it and some stationary equipment. 

Mobius indicated for Loki to sit at one side while he sat on the opposite side. “This is the TVA.”

“I know exactly what this place is.” Loki interrupted. “The Time Keepers have built quiet the circus and I see that the clowns are playing their parts to perfection.” “Big metaphor guy. I love it. It makes you sound smart.” “I am smart.” “I know.” “Okay.”

“Okay.” “What do you want from me?”

Mobius replayed the footage of Loki taking the Tesseract and explained how that was not the original timeline and then showed him what his actual timeline was, the events on Asgard with the Aether and the Dark Elves, him taking the throne under the guise of Odin, Odin’s death, the return of Hela, the destruction of Asgard and finally, the less than comfortable scene were Thanos choked him and snapped his neck in one fell swoop. With an unconscious rubbing of his throat, he looked at the agent across from him. “And you want me to help you because?”

“We need your unique Loki perspective.” 

“I don’t believe you.” Loki shook his head slightly. “I don’t think you believe anyone. This Loki variant needs to be fixed.”

“But why is it the Loki variant when those misfit Midgardians clearly are the ones that altered time. How was I supposed to know that what I did was altering time when they were the ones altering it?” Loki pointed out. “The breaking of reality was not my doing, but theirs, have them fix it.” “But you don’t want us to do that, not really. Because if we did that, you would have to be imprisoned indefinitely as you are not the true timeline Loki and you know that you will face a less than pleasant end soon. But if you help us, you get to use all these traits you love so dearly to actually do something and not be destroyed. “ “What happens if I help you and fix all of this, let me guess, you’ll imprison me then?” “No, then you will be offered to stay here and work for us and fix mess after mess for...well, who knows how long. Time works a little differently here.” 

“So, I help you, I‘m free to work for you, I don’t help you, I sit in uncomfortable clothes waiting to die of old age, which, if I am correct, may never actually happen here?” Loki checked. 

“Something to that effect.” Loki thought over his options. “I am not interested.” “I thought you might say that.” Mobius activated his computer screen and clicked on buttons. With how he was doing it, Loki was suspicious that he was not actually typing anything at all but pretending to do so to try and get Loki to change his mind. But after a few moments, the elevator door behind them rung out and opened. 

At first, Loki did not care enough to turn around. He suspected it was either someone to forcibly get him to comply, in which case, the ignoring served its purpose of not acknowledging such or it was guards to bring him to holding once more or to his new prison cell, which again, he did not care to acknowledge. But then, he felt the urge to look, especially when he sensed someone looking at him. When he turned, his eyes widened. “What?” He tried to rise from his seat but was pushed back down by a guard that seemed to just appear beside him. He glared angrily at Mobius. “How?” “We knew there was a high probability you would say no, we really needed you to say yes, so we brought a little incentive here for you,” Mobius explained. “I have studied practically every moment of your life. There is one single being in the universe you will willingly do anything for.” He pointed behind Loki. “Your adoptive parents, your adopted brother, sure, you’ll do stuff for them, when it suits. You used to be far more compliant, but then you grew up and realised your brother mattered more. You killed your biological father but her...you would do anything for her, wouldn’t you?” “No.” Both answered immediately. 

Mobius looked at them both as sat back slightly before pointing to Loki. “He’s the better liar.” “I told him not to do anything stupid and he thwarted that coronation and literally did the most stupid thing possible letting go at the Bifrost, so no, he would not do anything for me.” She glared over at Loki who looked at the table shamefully. 

“Yes, there’s enough time for domestic arguments at a later point, but we really need to get started on this.” Mobius focused on the matter at hand again. 

“Wait, isn’t bringing her here altering the timeline even more so?” Loki pointed out. “I feel as though there’s a significant case of double-standards going on here.” 

“It’s not really affecting the timeline because the timeline is already altered,” Mobius explained boredly. 

“How could it possibly not be affecting the timeline when having her being here instead of being where she would actually be is affecting the timeline?” “Because she is integral to getting you to fix the timeline,” Mobius argued. “But she was doing something when you took her, now that is not going to get done and that affects the timeline.” Loki countered. 

“We need her here to get you to say yes so you fix the timeline you broke, ergo, she fits this timeline.” 

“Wait, I am here because Loki broke a timeline so to fix the timeline he broke, we have to break the one I was in?” She clarified.

“I didn’t break it,” Loki explained. “Thor and his Midgardian friends went back in time because they wanted to change the future but I touched something I was not supposed to touch while they were doing that because their attempts to get it went awry because they are idiots, so technically, they broke the timeline and I am being forced to fix it because it apparently my touching the Tesseract goes against TVA rules but them going back in time and altering the whole future does not.”

“By breaking the timeline I was on, which in itself is a breach of these rules?” She asked in disbelief. 

“Exactly,” Loki confirmed. 

“No,” Mobius stated a mere nanosecond after. 

“It seems like it to me.” She looked at Loki for confirmation. “Me too.” Loki concurred.

“Well, it’s not.” Both looked at Mobius sceptically. “So, you help us and everyone is happy.” Mobius clapped his hands together. “So, let’s get you started as an agent.” Mobius pressed a button and Loki fell through a portal in the floor. Mobius rose to his feet and straightened his jacket boredly. “These men will bring you to the guest rooms.” “I think I rather do something while I wait.” “I don’t think so.” “I wasn’t asking.” She gave a smile that said she would not be dissuaded. “This is a big place, I am sure you can find somewhere for me and good luck trying to control him.” She laughed before walking out of the room. 

Mobius sighed. “I immediately regret this decision.” He rose to his feet and went into the elevator. After a few minutes, the doors opened to show Loki looking at him in a shirt, tie, jacket and pants. “That better?”

“It will suffice.” Loki walked in and stood next to him. 

Mobius remained looking forward as the elevator moved again. “I just need to grab a few things, and we will begin.” 

Loki said nothing in response. 

Mobius walked out of the elevator and the door remained open until his return a minute later, entirely in different attire and looking almost as though he had showered. He fiddled with his tie as he walked back in. 

“I have to say,” Loki stepped towards him and centred his tie as he spoke. “I think it’s adorable that you think you can manipulate me. I am ten steps ahead of you.” “Is that right?” Mobius barely had a hint of curiosity in his voice. “Oh, it is.” Loki sneered. “Nor can she. Though, I am curious, where is she?” “Gone to dictate to whoever is stuck dealing with her.” Mobius looked straight ahead. “She will be fine.” “She had better, or else,” Loki snarled. “Or else what?” Mobius glanced sideways, no emotion in his voice.

“Or else I am going to burn this place to the ground,” Loki swore with a smile. 

[toxtricityamped]

why jinsoul might be evil: a long-ass doc

I’m done!!!! I’ve written a full five page essay about how Jinsoul might be the final boss of Loona hehehehehehe! This was inspired by a post that I saw by @deerychuu yea i know the post is from 2018 but im bringing this back cause it inspired me

link to the google doc is here!

the entire doc is under the cut. it has no pictures so random sentences with arrows probably means that there was a picture there lolll

My stupid and mostly unsupported Loona theory: Jinsoul is evil hohoho

Ok so I saw a post a little while ago that was like “Olivia hye is the villain in yyxy but Jinsoul is loona’s final boss” or something like that, I don’t remember, but when I saw it I thought huh that's cool. But thEn I was watching the Singing in the Rain MV and like damn that makes sense so anyways here’s me finding evidence for it

My strange, messed up timeline:

1. Egoist Rap

2. Singing in the Rain

3. Love Cherry Motion

4. Love4Eva, Sweet Crazy Love

5. The rest of the Egoist MV

Part 1 of the ✨stupid✨ theory: Jinsoul is in prison for some reason who knows

Ok so basically this part I did not come up with (I found it on youtube oop) but it's important so I’m gonna leave this here. Throughout the earlier music videos featuring her, she’s shown in neon bars (or a fish tank) which probably represent her being trapped

But then at the end of Singing in the Rain, the bars aren’t straight (just like how Jinsoul isn’t straighUIDHFIUHDJDO *gets electrocuted*), they’re like all bent around and shit honestly idk what the word is but you get the idea.

(small cause I had to fit it on this page)

So what I think it is, is that Jinsoul broke out. She broke out of this ?prison thing? and she is out she’s gonna kill us all, run. Also let's all look at Jinsoul’s visuals there omg queen

Part 2: Jinsoul, when she was trapped, was on Eden (or at least had some way to contact Eden) and talked to Olivia Hye

You read the header, you know what's going on hohohoho. This part of the theory is me saying that Jinsoul is from Eden. Full theory is that I think that all of Odd Eye Circle is from different parts of the mobius strip that's actually important huh sO (Choerry is from Earth, that’s already a given as she is shown there and also shown going to the Middle Earth, Kim Lip is from the Middle Earth uhhh I just think that because she isn’t really shown anywhere else???, and Jinsoul is from Eden.)

Why do I think Jinsoul is from Eden you might ask, well hohohoho you’ve come to the right place (I sure do say hohohoho a lot)

In the Egoist MV, Jinsoul is seen (in a prison, implying that she was still trapped at this time) in front of a neon sign that says something in Chinese. (some people say that it has something to do with vivi but I personally think they just wrote it in Chinese so the Korean-speakers couldn't decipher it as easily lol) The characters say “Fallen Angel”. (I think, I don’t speak Chinese)

 Boom fallen angel my theory is PROVEN wahahahaha so basically what I’m saying is that Jinsoul probably was on Eden at some point, but she maybe tried to do something bad who knows what and it was terrible enough that rather than being exiled to earth, she was forced to be in prison.

The second part that I have to say about this is the connection between her and Olivia Hye. She’s (obviously as it is literally oLiViA hYe fEaT JiNsOuL) in the Egoist MV. She's shown still trapped in the blue neon lights and is whispering in who I believe is Olivia Hye’s ear. I think that Jinsoul was trying to convince Olivia to do whatever Olivia ended up doing I’m not sure.

Part 3: Jinsoul’s “Swallowing the sun in the afternoon” and other lyrics

This parts gonna be short because I have no idea who or what the sun is referring to! It may be Olivia Hye, or Choerry, or it also may be someone or something else, but I think this was the reason Jinsoul was exiled to her neon prison thingy. These lyrics are in both Singing in the Rain and Egoist, so they gotta have some kind of significance kskdjdjsk 

Personally I think that the sun may be referring to Choerry, because there is a can with the words ‘the sun in the afternoon’ on it, and Jinsoul eats a cherry out of it, and Choerry is very happy happy as everyone knows so it would make sense for her to be the sun.

 But this wouldn’t make sense because Love Cherry Motion comes after Singing in the Rain (as Jinsoul isn’t trapped at this time) soooo maybe Jinsoul had hurt her before the timeline??? This might make sense because Kim Lip might figure this out in Eclipse. (you know. The sun being swallowed by the moon in the afternoon hohoho) 

Also, who I think is Choerry is shown in the Egoist Mv taking the cherry out of the can. Her skin is a tone darker than Jinsoul’s, and the mouth is obviously wearing the same shade lipstick as Jinsoul so you can tell it's not her actually eating the cherry. I think Choerry was just a reference to the earlier music videos, or to the fact that Choerry was in One&Only.

<-- I think this is Choerry but it might be Olivia.

But she also says “for the sin of swallowing you” to Olivia. bUt none of this makes sense, this is just me ranting. Long story short, I think Jinsoul “swallowing the sun” was what landed her in prison. Let’s get onto the other lyrics!

Nevermind I lied. I'm still stuck on the similarities in Love Cherry Motion and Singing in the Rain. I’m pretty sure this happened before Jinsoul was exiled, and before she had an Odd Eye. 

← The moon shown in Love Cherry Motion and the moon shown in Singing in the Rain (more similarities!!!)

Idk I just definitely think that Choerry and Jinsoul are connected before the actual events somehow.

Also this is about different parts, but Jinsoul actually talks about being dangerous in the lyrics of Singing in the Rain hehehehe.

Part 4: Jinsoul egged Olivia on (specifically with her maybe killing ViVi)

Uhhhhhh so this part is mostly about the lyrics of the Egoist rap. Throughout the rap, the common theme of what Jinsoul is saying is “we’re together, I feel what you feel, come to me” and that kind of stuff. Placed around her are cans (like the afternoon sun one) and all of them are opened, implying that she’s eaten them. The lyrics of the rap are “Hey, for the sin of swallowing you, You get bigger and bigger, beautiful you, You are me, now I’m you, Little by little, soaked into my veins. On&on, you and me the endless cycle, We can’t be separated. When I miss you, I close my eyes and go to you for a while, Close your eyes and you come closer to me.

She’s shown talking in Olivia Hye’s ear during this, which may mean that Olivia Hye is the sun, but this isn’t about that, this is about Jinsoul being evil. 

Now this part (of this part loll) is still about Egoist, but the other parts of the MV. Most of the lyrics before the rap are about how Olivia misses someone (probably Yves but that's another story) and how she wants to love herself instead of them. It also opens with a scene in which Olivia lays on a mattress covered in white feathers. I believe that this part in Egoist happens after the rap, but the rap is put before the change in Olivia’s mentality for extra effect. After Jinsoul’s scene, Olivia looks at the mattress again, and the feathers that used to be white turn red. There’s also some scenes that show her eating a plum and having what looks like blood on her lips, as well as snips of a scene where she is washing lots of blood off of her hands. I think that Jinsoul may have influenced her into killing ViVi, or doing something else. (I’ll put a link to a doc that one of my friends wrote about why Olivia may have killed ViVi.) The placement of the rap between the two parts of Olivia’s music video are what make me think this theory is more plausible :).

Part 5: Jinsoul the blue fish

Now we’re getting into more detail about the Singing in the Rain MV!!! I already explained the theory about how Jinsoul is trapped in the blue lights, but there’s moreee!

During the Singing in the Rain and some small parts of Crazy Sweet Love, she’s shown with a blue fish. This is important because in Singing in the Rain, she’s also shown by rows of tanks, all filled with red or orange fish. She eventually stops by a tank on display in the middle. (I know which fane this is cause its my computer background lmaoooo) 

Ze fish in Singing in the Rain and Sweet Crazy Love

So the fish is consistently shown as different from all of the other fish. The ones on the pedestal are too, but they are all the same type, at least. Then, Jinsoul pours the blue fish into the tank of orange ones. However, it is shown just after that, that the blue fish actually represents Jinsoul. 

<-- Jinsoul, but she’s the blue fish ooooooo

I think this was showing that Jinsoul was not the same as the rest of the girls in Loona. She’s an outlier. 

Anyways that’s all for now, I’ll try to eventually find some evidence in the later music videos but for now this is what I’ve got! Please feel free to tell me what I got wrong cause I know there must be something and all those random details that i missed.

[needsmoresarcasm]

Favorite Books of 2019

I read a bunch of books in 2019. I loved a lot of them. Here are my ten favorites.

10. Because Internet: Understanding the New Rules of Language, Gretchen McCulloch

Most books about internet culture are garbage because they are written from the perspective of someone who is outside internet culture. Gretchen McCulloch, I am positive, is a part of internet culture. She was on fandom mailing lists and had a LiveJournal, I’m sure. She had to be to write Because Internet, which is an incredibly well written book about how language has evolved to fit online discourse. Because Internet is so fascinating, as it is able to explain thoughtfully (and compellingly) many things that internet people understand inherently. It parses through the evolution of a keysmash or an emoji. And it really helps show how language on the internet is not somehow the deterioration of language, but just another natural step forward.  9. HHhH, Laurent Binet

Originally written in French, HHhH deals with the entire genre of historical fiction. The narrator in HHhH is writing a novel about the murder of Reinhard Heydrich, a high-ranking Nazi official. That novel-within-the-novel is the bulk of the actual HHhH. But the narrator, who has spent years researching the actual facts, struggles with how much history and how much fiction he should be putting into the book. And so the book explicitly plays with the reader’s expectations, and comments at times on paths the story could take. The book works without the metatextual commentary, it’s propulsive and a little wry. But the added layer really just adds to the intrigue: what’s historical fiction supposed to do? And does any of it even matter? 8. Out East: Memoir of a Montauk Summer, John Glynn

Out East is a coming out memoir that deals with entirely internal struggles and not external hardships. Of course, there is an incredible amount of privilege at play for a coming out to be devoid of external hardships. And yes, the memoir, about a group of (mostly white) friends who rent a beach house in Montauk for a summer, is steeped in privilege, which John Glynn is acutely aware of. But John Glynn is not asking for your sympathy, he is instead telling a deeply personal story about self discovery and sexuality in the 2010s. He captures the world-shattering confusion and fear of learning that you don’t know yourself in a visceral way that still somehow maintains perspective. I cannot say that this book is for everyone, but man, was it for me.

7. Red, White & Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston The year was 2019, and everything was awful. Enter Red, White & Royal Blue, a wildly escapist fantasy that dared to dream: what if the world wasn’t on fire? So Red, White & Royal Blue is truly the most escapist novel out there, a fun romp of a romantic comedy that is entirely unconcerned with the disasters of reality. No, we’re just going to take the biracial son of the first female President of the United States and the charming, responsible prince of England and let them fall in love. Let hijinks ensue. Let this wonderful, bubblegum, fizzy drink of a novel enter your brain and wipe away all your worries. God, I had a blast reading this novel. Make everything gay 2020.

6. Soonish: Ten Emerging Technologies That’ll Ruin and/or Improve Everything, Kelly & Zach Weinersmith

Soonish is the exact kind of nonfiction that I want. It made me feel smarter and also made me laugh. Soonish takes on exactly what its subhead describes: ten emerging technologies (robotics, fusion power, asteroid mining, bioprinting!) that may or may not prove disastrous. It walks through the current science and then the possibilities, and how far off those possibilities are. And then it walks through the potential benefits and consequences. It’s an incredibly accessible read, written with the right balance of information and levity, striking that xkcd Randall Munroe balance. And it also has very funny comics and illustrations interspersed throughout, which will just bring your life so much joy.

5. Just Mercy, Bryan Stevenson

Too real. Just Mercy is too real. This is not the right space to get into all that this book says about racial injustice and the flaws of the American justice system. It says a lot, and it says it extremely powerfully. But Just Mercy is Bryan Stevenson’s memoir, too. And it’s equally powerful for what it reveals about Stevenson. It’s so incredibly intimate, and Stevenson really lets the reader into his mind. And I think that openness really makes the whole thing land. Because Stevenson is hopeful and dedicated, and being that close to his inner thoughts ends up turning his story into something inspiring, not enervating. There’s an anecdote about an old woman on a bench outside the courthouse that Stevenson describes, and Stevenson’s retelling is so sure of the overwhelming, indomitable potential goodness of the human spirit that I may have shed a tear. Or two. Or a hundred.

4. The Song of Achilles, Madeline Miller

I’m not usually one for deeply tragic stories, but The Song of Achilles I guess is the exception that proves the rule. Locked into the Iliad’s telling of Achilles and Patroclus’ fate, The Song of Achilles feels tragic from the first line. But every sentence builds their relationship and makes you invested, even as tragedy looms. The writing is gorgeous and almost musical; the passion swells and crashes like an orchestra. The book smartly focuses on Patroclus’s humanity to ground Achilles. It’s through Patroclus that we see and understand Achilles, which makes the sharp turns, where we see through Achilles, cut even deeper. In any event, the whole affair is horrifyingly romantic, and I loved it.

3. Homegoing, Yaa Gyasi

Everything about Homegoing is spectacularly audacious. It is an economical 300 page book with the weight, scope, and ambition of a thousand page page epic fantasy series. Homegoing begins by telling the story of two sisters who, by the whims of circumstance or luck or fate, end up on wildly divergent paths. In Ghana in the 18th century, one is sold into slavery and the other marries an Englishman. Homegoing then follows the parallel paths of their descendants through eight generations. Though Homegoing only devotes a single chapter to each character, it manages to develop those characters and their specific settings in more detail than some entire books can. And these chapters are great not only because of what they say about the larger themes of racism and colonialism and family and history, but because of the nuanced, particularized stories they’re able to tell about the individuals.

2. Picture Us in the Light, Kelly Loy Gilbert

Contemporary Young Adult books can feel hit or miss for me. Many of them end up feeling a little shallow or juvenile. And this isn’t a criticism of the books, but a necessary side effect of the fact that I’m not the intended audience. But Picture Us in the Light knocked me over with more force than any “adult” book I read.

Picture Us in the Light, at first blush, is a typical story about Danny Cheng, a Chinese American high school student worrying about getting into college, swirls with weighty plot elements--suicide, citizenship, poverty, familial sacrifice--but never resorts to melodrama. Each issue is treated with a deft, steady hand. But more than anything, it is just the story of Danny Cheng trying to figure out his life. His voice is specifically crafted to reflect everything he is: an aspiring artist, the child of immigrants, Asian American, maybe queer, a Californian, and, maybe most importantly, a teenager. Because Picture Us in the Light turns the youth of its genre, its audience, and its main character into an asset; it channels that unformed teenage energy of wonder, uncertainty, and anxiety to heighten every emotional beat. And mostly, it brims with empathy and optimism for Danny and, really, for everyone.

1. The Starless Sea, Erin Morgenstern

The Starless Sea is the reason I read books. As a kid, I fell in love with reading by devouring entire series, getting lost in a fictional world for days or weeks or months at a time. What made reading so addicting was the feeling of being entirely immersed in the currents of a story. It’s a feeling I don’t get from books much any more. I read too fast, I think too much, and, mostly, I’m too easily distracted. But The Starless Sea brought that feeling of having just spent two weeks reading every Redwall or Lord of the Rings or Ender’s Game book and no longer being able to discern reality from fiction. And for that blissful literary hangover, it was the best book I read in 2019.

The Starless Sea is about Zachary Ezra Rawlins, a video game design graduate student, who comes across an old, unmarked book in his school library. In that book, he comes across a story that impossibly contains a moment from his past, and the book proceeds to unravel that mystery. However, this plot summary is misleading in its linearity; The Starless Sea is structured as books within a book, chapters will switch from the story of Zachary to the story Zachary is reading to maybe a different story altogether. And in this way, it unfolds as a puzzle box, or maybe as nesting dolls, or maybe a Mobius strip (or maybe all three), where figuring out exactly what stories are being told only adds to the experience. 

You won’t find a review of this book that doesn’t call Erin Morgenstern’s writing beautiful or atmospheric or dreamlike, which is appropriate because Erin Morgenstern’s writing is beautiful and atmospheric and dreamlike. Between the whimsical descriptive flourishes and the outward spiraling fantastical plot, the book is always on the verge of floating away or spinning out. But Zachary Ezra Rawlins grounds the story; he’s real and genuine and good, and never have I rooted more for a character. He believes in the power of a great story, and that’s ultimately what this book is about: the ways in which a story can sweep you away. And, truly, The Starless Sea just washed over me, lifted me up, and swept me away.

[ad1thi]

3000

this caps at 3676 words, which is the most ive written ever; and this fic is my absolute baby i have never slaved over something more so please give her some love

--

Morgan Stark was, is, a strange woman

She’s quiet where her father was loud, stoic where her mother is loving, calm where her family is grieving

--

She wasn’t always like this

She hears snippets from her mother when Mom thinks she’s asleep; of how loud and boisterous and full of life she was

The tipping point, her mother muses over a glass of wine to Zia Nat, was her sixth birthday party

--

See Morgan, Morgan isn’t like everybody else

Everybody else got back their father and husband and brother and son in the Great War

Morgan lost hers

She was 3 years old, but her father always said she was exceptionally smart for her age

but this, this she didn’t quite understand until she was 6 years old

She knew her father had died, he’d died saving everybody’s life of course she knew that (how could she forget when its all anyone talked about, its all she saw all around her, the consequences of his death) but she never knew quite what it meant until her sixth birthday

--

The house is loud, louder than it usually is

Mom has invited ‘round all of her friends, and all of Morgan’s classmates from school too

There’s a healthy amount of awe and wonder in the room, and Morgan; Morgan is sitting in her room watching the hologram her father left for her sixth birthday

God, you’re growing up so fast,” hologram-him says, six already huh tesero? six is a big year isn’t it, first year of elementary, carrying your own lunches like a borghese, god i’m so proud of you. i want you to remember to enjoy yourself this year huh tesoro? ti amo 3000

Its how her mother finds her, moving towards a hologram that frozen in the motion of cupping her cheek; and tilting her head ever so slightly to put into the empty space that his hand’s left

“mai?” Morgan whispers, when she feels a hand on her shoulder, “he’s never coming back?”

“No mon coeur,” her mother whispers, and she crumbles like a marionette has cut her strings

--

After that, she changes

--

She knows what’s expected of her

The daughter of Anthony Edward Stark, grand daughter of Howard Walter Stark, niece of the Avengers

(if anyone ever asked, she’d tell them how much she hated the labels)

--

She’s subdued in class, makes 2 friends her entire year and keeps to herself

(Riri and Kamala are blessings)

She’s whipsmart but she never raises her hand, runs like a dream but never tries out for track; and only paints when nobody else is watching

--

On her eighth birthday, when she opens the door to see Uncle Steve’s hopeful face; she closes it 

“I don’t want them here,” she says, making it half way up the stairs before turning around and saying, “Maybe Uncle Bucky can stay”

--

When she’s 14, Uncle Bucky asks her what she wants for her birthday as they’re looking over the lake near her house and she says “I want you to teach me how to fight”

And he nods once

--

They start with the basics, hand to hand combat; and graduate to knifes and guns within a matter of months

He only asks her once why she wants to learn and she says, “My father was Tony Stark. It’s in my blood”

He smiles at all, all bloody from where she managed to clock his nose and never asks again

--

guardati tesoro mio, her father says on her fifteen birthday, all grown up and shit. do a little spin for your papa, let him see what you’re wearing

and its a hologram and she knows he’s not really there; but she spins anyway

fifteen, thats a big year right? Taylor Swift’s got a song about it and everything

He walks towards her, bending down so they’re eye level and Morgan swears she can feel their nose touching

it means you’re going on dates and shit, and i don’t know how i feel about that, his nose scrunches up like he’s smelt something foul, i guess i’ll just have to greet all your dates wearing the ironman suit huh. god thats a brilliant idea; weed out the weak ones by seeing who pees themselves or who gets overly cocky

Morgana he says, turning sharply from where he’s ranting, your dad is a genius, never forget that

“mai” she whispers into the open air, tears falling freely

--

Every year, her mother asks if she can invite the avengers over for her birthday, and every year Morgan says no

There are exceptions of course

Zio Rhodey, Zia Natasha, Uncle Bucky

Peter when he has time to spare, and Harley whenever he isn’t holed up in an SI workshop

but never anyone else

--

The first time Morgan brings Riri home and introduces her as her girlfriend instead of her bestfriend, an Ironman suit falls out of the sky

Her mother flinches back on instinct, Riri pales, and Morgan laughs until she cries

“Protocol: Tesoro is initiated,” intoned the automated voice before it shifts to the lilt of her father, “So, you wanna date my daughter”

“Yes sir,” Riri squeaks from where she’s hiding behind Morgan, and her mother is trying desperately not to cry

There’s a pregnant silence before her father’s voice says,”Her background checks out, you can date her”

and Morgan is turning to press her lips to Riri’s cheek; mindful of the glint in Riri’s eyes when she moves past the fear and takes in the armour, and thinks to herself no, i can’t

--

“Why Bucky,” her mother asks once, “You let nobody else in but you let in Bucky. Why Bucky?”

Morgan takes in a deep breath, “Zio stays because he’s the closest thing I have to a father. Zia stays because she’s the closest thing you have to a lover,” Morgan ignores the flush on her mother’s cheek, “and Bucky stays because he’s the only person who sees me”

“Je t’adore mama, but you see me and you also see Papa, they see me and they see Papa”

“Bucky? Bucky just sees me”

--

She’s 25 and still dating Riri, who’s around more than she’s not; now that she’s working under Zio Rhodey

It’s late at night, and Morgan extracts herself from Riri’s limp arms- shrugs on the first piece of clothing she can find, makes her way down the stairs

She takes in a deep breath, and turns on her father’s interface for the first time in 22 years

It’s still one of the most advanced pieces of technology out there; even if Morgan is cataloging all the ways she can make it better

“Pull up,” her voice cracks, ‘Pull up my father’s last project”

and in front of her, the room lights up in the shape of a mobius strip, inverted

--

She applies and gets a job at Pym Industries, and her mother furrows her brow but congratulates her all the same

She moves up the ranks seamlessly, except for one isolated incident when she drop kicks someone and sends them to the hospital because they call her little miss

Hope Pym adores her, and she gets privileges in R&D that she knows nobody else has

(she doesn’t know if its because she’s Tony Stark’s daughter, or because Hope genuinely thinks she’s that smart- but she doesn’t question it)

And there, after hours, in the laboratory where it all started; she puts her plan into motion

--

When she’s 27, Zio Rhodey falls sick

She’s in the middle of hour 73 of her work binge, and she’s so close to recreating the Pym Particles when an arm on her shoulder startles her and throws her into a defensive position

Her mind clears slightly when her would-be attacker’s head is between her thighs, and she scrambles back in shock when she realises its Riri

“When I said I was into trying new things in bed,” Riri’s voice is raspy from where Morgan’s knee pressed against her throat, “this isn’t what I had in mind”

“What are you doing here?” she asks, pointedly ignoring the bruises forming around her neck

“Its your Zio Rhodey,” she says solemnly, and there’s a tang in her voice when she says Zio; a word that doesn’t belong on Riri’s tongue, “he’s in the hospital”

Morgan is numb all over, going through the motions as she saves her work and slips on her jacket

She’s silent on the drive over to the hospital, fingers drumming against the door of the car

Logically, she always knew her parents were much older than most; her mama was on the verge of 40 when they had her and her father was pushing 54 when he died. She always knew that Zio Rhodey was growing old, but she never expected it to catch up to him quite this quickly

“Hi there squirt,” he whispers from the hospital room, moving up to clasp her face in his hands before groaning in pain

She rushes over and eases him back into a comfortable position, raising his hand to her mouth and kissing the back of his palm lightly, “What’s this then Zio Rhodey?”

He sighs, “The braces that your father built me gave out on me, and I fell down a flight of stairs”

She gets up, looking around for the braces, “I have a toolkit in the car I can tweak it a bi-”

She’s cut off when Zio pulls her down with surprising force, “Have I ever told you?” he asks, like she hadn’t spoken, “how much you remind me of your father?”

She slumps against the chair and indulges him, “Only everytime you see me”

He grimaces slightly, “I do say it a lot don’t I?” 

“It’s only because I see so much of him in you squirt. His drive, his big heart, his desire to help everyone,” he nods slightly at Riri, “his taste in women”

He moves slightly when Morgan squats at him, cackling; and Morgan pretends the hand squeezing around her heart is fear that Zio might not make it the night

“I know I’m not your real father,” he says softly, reaching out to cup her face, “but I do love you like my own Morgana”

“And he would be so proud of you”

His eyes go glassy just then, washing over and un-focusing, and she’s about to call for a nurse when her Zio says, “Tony? Why the fuck have you grown out your hair then?”

and it clicks

Dementia

She turns to Riri to ask how they all could’ve missed this, but her gaze is furtive and it takes but a second for Morgan to realise that the only one who missed this was her

--

“How could you not tell me?” she roars, as Riri stares defiantly back, “he is my Zio!”

“He asked me not to, said he didn’t want to burden you while you were busy with your work,” Riri replies, “Plus, you never step out of that lab anywhere I was sure nothing short of a heart attack would remind you that he even exists”

“That is a low blow Ri”

“Is it?” Riri stands up, “I don’t see you, Peter and Harley work ‘round the clock to make sure Pepper doesn’t miss her daughter, and I cannot remember the last time you came over for dinner”

“My work is important!” she yells, but she might as well have been yelling into empty air, because Riri’s face hardens

“So are we Morgan,” she’s near the door when she turns back and says, softly, “I know losing your father hit you hard. But you still have a parent who’s alive”

--

Morgan and Riri break up the next day

Morgan always knew it was coming, ever since Riri became Ironheart

She just never expected it so soon

--

She keeps a constant vigil at Zio’s bedside, until the hospital kick her out

She can’t go back to her lab, not when he’s so fragile; so she cashes in all her leave from the last 3 years and shows up to the cabin with a large suitcase

“Morgan?” her mother’s grown so frail, and Morgan feels a stab of regret that she hasn’t been around more

“Je suis ici mama,” her mother crumbles against her like like there's nothing holding her up anymore, sobbing into her shirt

“Je suis désolé, ça a pris si longtemps”

--

Her mother bustles around the kitchen, clearly desperate for anything to do

“Mama,” she calls out a few times, before getting up and physically grabbing her mother in her arms and stilling her

“Mama its okay,” she says softly, guiding her to the sofa, “you don’t have to do anything”

“Mon coeur, you’ve come home after so long and I can’t even cook for you,” her mother has gotten so weak without Morgan noticing, and the guilt festers

Riri was right, she had forgotten about her mother, too caught up in her work

She runs her fingers through her mother’s hair, manoeuvring her so they’re on the sofa, “I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long Mama,” she whispers

“but I’m here now”

--

Her leave gives her a full 2 months off and she splits her time between the cabin and the hospital, until Zio is ready to be moved to the cabin

She calls up Harley for the first time in 3 years and he comes down the following weekend, and they brainstorm over the ideas that her father left uncompleted

“20 years later and he’s taking me to school,” Harley whistles lowly, “not bad for a mechanic”

After dinner, Morgan curls up against her mother, who obligingly runs her piano fingers through Morgan’s hair

“Harley’s good at SI,” she starts off, “did business as a minor in Stanford”

Her mother hums, “I’m half convinced he’s your father’s bastard”

“You should name him CEO,” she turns so she’s facing her mother completely, “he’ll be good”

She stills above Morgan, “you,” she pauses and takes a breath, “you don’t want it?”

She shakes her head, and pretends like she doesn’t see how her mother’s entire body shakes

“Your father did always like to be left to his own devices,” she says finally and if Morgan tries really hard, she can pretend like she hasn’t disappointed her mother, “I’ll talk to the Board tomorrow, but they’re going to give me hell”

Her mother sounds so defeated Morgan almost takes it back, but the photo frame of her papa and mama catches her eye; and she holds her tongue

--

She finagles and negotiates with Hope, and gets permission to work from home.

(not that Hope had much choice, Morgan had set Pym Inc decades ahead of every company and finally put them in close competition with Stark Industries, but it was the principle of the thing)

A team of 5 come in and renovate the basement into a lab that’s workable, and Morgan breathes easier

She spends her days with her mother and Zio Rhodey, and her nights

working

--

“Pull up the simulation again,” she says into the open air and pulls apart the mobius strip, running each equation individually

“JOCASTA,” she calls out, “run the enhanced Pym Particles against my father’s software”

She rummages around the mini fridge for juice pops, sucking the first one in her mouth 

“Simulation complete,” her best decision by date was to give JOCASTA an italian accent

She turns back to the screen, and stumbles back into her chair

“Shit,” she says, breathing heavily- looking but not comprehending the screen in front of her

“Shit,” she says again, because it bares repeating, because she is the third person to ever crack time travel

--

30 is a big year tesero, her father’s AI says as she slips into a red dress and walks down to greet the guests

After 22 years, she’s agreed to let the Avengers back onto the cabin; and the naked gratitude on Uncle Steve’s face when she moved aside instead of slamming the door like she did every year was another chink in that guilt deep in her gut

you’re so big now tesero, her father says, leaning against the wall when she wraps her arms around Riri and thanks her for coming

where does the time fly? the hologram dissipates when she comes near her Zio Rhodey, and she looks away as he dabs away a set of tears 

“i’m sorry squirt,” he says when he’s settled a bit more, “the holograms still get to me I guess. But 30 huh?” 

“Big day,” he says decisively before his eyes go glassy again

She wraps her hands around him, looking at the space left by her father’s hologram and thinks, you have no idea

--

--

Steve knocks on the door of the cabin, as he does every year

Sam is waiting for him in the car, stubbornly refusing to turn off the gas because she’s just going to turn us away man i don’t why we do this year every year

But he comes every year with Steve, so Steve suspects he knows why

(because Steve loved her father)

(because Steve killed her father)

(because Tony died to save everybody else)

Bucky left the Compound a few hours earlier, since he’d promised Pepper and Nat that he’d help with the cake

That had taken some time to get used to, the fact that Morgan allowed Bucky to be a part of her life and not Steve

(in the darkest parts of his mind, Steve admits that he hates it, that he wanted to be the one teaching Morgan to protect herself, to be the one loving her)

He knocks on the door and waits, and like clockwork Morgan opens the door and assesses him like he’s under a microscope

And then

She moves aside, letting him in

Steve’s knees threaten to buckle, but he holds it together just long to ask, “Are- are you sure?” 

She stares at him mulishly, and Steve can’t help but compare it to a pre coffee Tony, “Are you looking to piss me off Rogers? Come in before I change my mind, and tell Birdbrain in the Maserati to turn off his engine because he’s killing the planet my father gave his life to protect”

Steve nods like she’s a drill sergeant and she shifts inside, seemingly satisfied with that 5 second interaction

--

Steve is on alert the entire party, flitting between being elated to celebrate Morgan’s 30th with her and wary that she’ll kick him out

She disappears upstairs once everyone’s trickled in, and comes down in a simple red summer dress, hair slicked back

There’s a hologram of Tony hovering behind her, muttering in her ear, and it knocks the air out of him, because he’s here but he’s not all at the same time and Steve dimly wonders if the pain of losing Tony Stark will get any easier

(from the glistening cheeks around him, and the surreptitious way Morgan wipes her eyes, the answer seems to be no)

The crowd moves around Morgan and her father, as if Tony’s really here instead of just a product of his tech; but dissipates into the air when Morgan goes over to Rhodey

Rhodey, who’s in a wheelchair

Everyone around him is frail and old, the signs of ageing so evident on their face and physique; while Bucky and Steve look like they’ve just touched 40

Morgan is settled down in Rhodey’s lap and laughing at something that he said, but there’s this gleam in her eyes that sits with Steve wrong, which is why he makes his way over to Peter

His relationship with Peter was hard work, almost a decade of back and forth before he let his guard down around Steve and joined the Avengers under his command

“Hey,” he says, smoothly cutting through whatever conversation Harley and Peter are having, “Mind if I borrow the spiderkid for a second?”

Harley spread his arms wide, “He’s all yours. Damn idiot hurts my brain”

“I’m only 4 years younger THAN YOU!” Peter yells the last part to Harley’s retreating back, huffing when Harley gives him the bird - before turning to Steve, “What’s up?”

“You have your suit on you?”

Peter rubs at his chest where the nanites are stored, “Always. Everything okay?”

“Yeah I just,” Steve sighs, “Something seems off”

“Ah the Cap sense, never gets old”

“Just be alert okay?” and he waits for a second before he adds, “and keep an eye on Morgan. I don’t want her getting hurt”

--

They’re in the middle of dinner when Steve notices her slip away, glancing back and forth before making her way down to -

isn’t that the way to Tony’s lab?

He looks up and catches Peter’s eye, nodding once before following Morgan

Its not easy, Bucky obviously taught her well, but Steve’s been hiding from Bucky since before she was born

She punches in the override code and slips in, and Steve has a 5 second warning to avert his eyes and she thumbs out of her dress

When he looks back, she’s slipped into something that resembles the undersuit Tony used to wear; but modified somehow

She’s very engrossed in the screen in front of her so its easy to follow her into the lab, but nothing can stop him from keeping quiet when he sees what she’s working on

--

--

“What are you doing with Tony’s time travel device?”

shit

Morgan turns to face Steve Rogers, adjusting the suit around her

“What are you doing here Rogers?”

“I asked first”

She chances a glance behind her, and the simulation needs a few more seconds to boot, she has to stall

Steve looks frozen between between going up and calling reinforcements, and making his way over to her, which works in her favour

She pulls at the last strap

“27 years ago,” she says, and there’s just a couple of seconds before all of this is fixed, “you killed my father.”

“I’m going back in time to save his life”

And before he can react, she presses down on the Pym Particles; closing her eyes as a blinding flash covers the room

--

--

Steve instinctively raises his arms against the light, and when he lowers them again, she’s gone.

Fin

--

hope you liked it!

--

italian translations:

tesoro- treasure borghese- commoner/ civilian/ middle-class person (its meant to be a joke not an insult) ti amo 3000- i love you 3000 mai- never guardati tesoro mio- look at you my treasure zio/zia- uncle/aunt

(all translations are taken off google translate!!)

french translations:

mon coeur- my sweetheart/ my heart j’adore mama- i love you mama je suis ici mama- i’m here mama je suis désolé, ça a pris si longtemps- im sorry it took so long

[theherocomplex]

Bee Watches: Shadowhunters, Episode 2

This is a thing I am doing now, I guess!

why is it that whenever a female character is comfortable with her body, she has to like showing it off?

like, I'm torn. Izzy is gorgeous and looks amazing, but I'm in physical pain watching her stomp around in six-inch heels. Also GIRL YOU FIGHT DEMONS, WEAR A KEVLAR TURTLENECK. 

the male gaze will never die, I guess

ANYWAYS

so that scene with Clary and Izzy sure did happen, didn’t it 

let me say, choices were made, they were very hot choices, and I am here for all of it 

JACE YOUR POSTURE IS BAD

Jace your hair is also bad and your gloves are dumb THERE I SAID IT

I'm also having trouble remembering what Jace looks like; whenever he comes on screen I’m like “Oh! Who’s this? Oh, wait, it’s just Mad Blond and Stubbly”

where is Magnus evacuating all the warlocks to? 

my money is on Fantasy Costco (WHERE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!)

there’s actually been a pretty high body count for just two episodes? like dang I know this is Fantasy NYC but still 

I’m also greatly amused by how the police station Luke works in seems to come from the Mobius Strip Brutalist school of architecture 

“it’s cute you think I have feelings” says Jace, while constantly holding Clary’s hand, repeatedly promising to help her/protect her no matter what, defying Alec to keep said promises, PUTTING HER IN WHAT IS CLEARLY HIS SHIRT WHEN THEY GET TO THE INSTITUTE, and also being obviously and completely ready to die for her 

okay, so maybe he doesn’t have Feelings, just A Feeling, and that Feeling is CLARY

so far Alec’s role has been to say “I won’t allow it” and then be forced into allowing it, and it’s a tribute to the actor that he’s so amusing to watch while doing so; he’s really got a great physicality and even if he’s just in the background of a scene, he’s still benefitting everyone else 

everyone else: ew the Silent Brothers are so creepy!!  me, who never quite got over Hellraiser: HELLO SIRS! :D :D :D 

granted, my tolerance for body horror is a bit elevated, and it was a well-executed, creepy sequence 

one of my favorite tropes ever is “non-combatant uses their environment to hand an aggressor’s ass to them after being mocked for not being a fighter”, thank you SH for giving me this 

AND THEN THEY TAKE IT AWAY, JUSTICE FOR DOT 

the best moment of the episode:  Simon: I’m missing a financial analysis class!  Alec: I can’t...be here, anymore.

HIS HAND GESTURE, GUYS, IT KILLS THE BEE 

Izzy, I know you’ve basically lived underground and been raised to fight the unholy hordes, but even you should know that when a dude in NYC in the year of Our Lord 2019 says he’s in a band, it’s gonna be indie rock 

they all think they’re Sufjan Stevens or Ben Gibbard IT’S A DISEASE 

uh huh yep no feelings here no sirree bob 

and now Simon is kidnapped 

by vampires? 

because this show didn’t have enough going on 

so we’ve got: Shadowhunters, warlocks, whatever Luke is, demons, vampires, Valentine and his band of assholes, the Circle, and...I’m missing something but good lord there’s a lot going on 

I didn’t realize Alec was going to be SUCH a shit when it came to mundanes, but dang it’s a bit of a shock; I really get the sense he’s just quietly miserable and beaten-down and his impatience/coldness is a symptom of that 

it’s really, really sweet to see how supportive Clary and Simon are; I’m sure the show is going to dip into some kind of love triangle thing, but it’s been clear from the start they’re genuinely in each other’s corner 

the show’s just done a good job in general, so far, of making me feel like the characters who SAY they care about each other actually do. there’s a long-suffering group eyeroll going on between Alec, Izzy, and Jace, which feels very much like a sibling dynamic, and seeing Clary caring about people, openly and honestly, makes her a very sympathetic heroine 

also so um boy howdy Alec is in love with Jace, right? 

like 

really in love 

like damn boy 

okay let’s go save Simon from these True Blood cosplayers!!!!

but only after we get some combat boots for Clary and Izzy

[thesinglesjukebox]

YAEJI - DRINK I'M SIPPIN' ON [5.89] We are soooo chillllll right nooow...

Crystal Leww: Yaeji is one of dance music's fast rising stars, making songs that sound more suitable for the Uber ride comedown than the actual club. "Drink I'm Sippin' On" is all about atmospherics -- fleeting, floating, grooving -- a little like the 3am trek home from the club in Brooklyn. I did one of those recently from a Yaeji show, and this is pretty much how it felt like. [7]

Eleanor Graham: Takes the easy route to hypnotic with faded-neon synth pads and a treacle-paced trap beat, the pre-chorus slipping into Kendrick-style robotised tipsiness. This should be laidback but it isn't, something about it is uneasy like a flickering strip light. When she sings "I feel so fine", it sounds like a question. [5]

Maxwell Cavaseno: One day, we will all get the proactively ideal Nav-level of effortlessness that we want to subject to ourselves to in order to convey our best versions of sleepy-eyed background ambiance that can occasionally reflect song structure. Today, we have Yaeji, who's happy to be the half-imagined song of your dreams if you're looking for her. [2]

Ryo Miyauchi: Yaeji channeled navel-gazing New York hip-house to come into her own, and here, the drums kick a more chest-puffing rhythm, her monotone voice more sure where to hit. She recites lyrics like she's whispering reminders to herself, so it feels especially right the lyrics for "Drink I'm Sippin' On" is a mantra to build up self-confidence. Her swagger is a mask, a make-up of alcohol and mannerisms picked up from the movies, but believing in yourself sometimes takes a little bit of self-delusion. [7]

Julian Axelrod: Yaeji weaves a hypnotic stream of mantras and affirmations into a woozy, intoxicating Mobius strip. This feels like a photo negative of "Cranes in the Sky" in both sound and temperament. Our heroine drinks to forget her shitty week, and to steel herself for the shitty weeks to come. But even as darkness lurks at the edges of her vision, she's found the one thing that makes her feel confident, powerful, alive. And right now, for one beautiful moment, nothing else matters. [7]

Alfred Soto: Atmospherics it's got, like fog in a Warner Bros film from 1941. But Yaeji made the outro the most fascinating section: somebody tinkling a piano's major chords over a hip hop beat. I've got a gruesome habit of wanting movies and music to play like I imagine them to. [5]

Ashley John: Yaeji has a patience I've never heard before, and it permeates the song in a hypnotic way. "Drink I'm Sippin' On" is a tranquilizer that numbs me so that my brain only thumps with its beat. Yaeji stretches out a moment into a strand of silk and let's us marvel. [7]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Yaeji's self-titled EP piqued my interest, its talk-singing and late night house music bringing to mind Nina Kraviz and Galcher Lustwerk. "Drink I'm Sippin' On" is cut from a similar cloth but she throws in more overt hip-hop elements, causing her voice to take on a more pronounced role. The result is something more self-conscious and less relaxing. It's intentional, yes, but I'm forced to evaluate the role of her vocalizing and my impression is that it's both forced and tedious. Atmospherics aren't always enough. [4]

Anjy Ou: A lot of the time, what I get out of a song is very different from what the artist put into it. After reading Yaeji's annotations of "Drink I'm Sippin' On" on Genius, that definitely seems to be the case here. But I'm going to say what I think anyway. Because that's what I'm here for, obviously, but also because I feel like this song creates space for multiple, potentially opposing interpretations - probably because of the double-sided lyrics. Yaeji's laid-back refrain "그게아니야" ("that's not it") doesn't feel like a harsh correction. It sounds more like a simple statement of fact: what I'm feeling, or what I'm doing or thinking, isn't what you think it is. But that's okay, we can still vibe out. Or not, I don't care. The song feels confident and carefree and I absorb that IDGAF attitude the more I listen to it. And eventually I don't care as much that I don't "get" the song. Two ideas may not mirror each other, but they can share a drink, dance around each other and maybe even milly rock a little bit. As long as everyone feels fine, we're good. Maybe that's entirely the point. [9]

[Read and comment on The Singles Jukebox ]

[pixelgrotto]

RIP Archie’s Sonic the Hedgehog comic (1992-2017)  After 25 years and nearly 300 issues, Archie’s long-running Sonic the Hedgehog comic was officially cancelled earlier this week. The writing’s been on the wall for a while now, since the comic went on a forced hiatus several months ago and none of the creators were allowed to publicly discuss it due to ongoing negotiations between Archie and Sega. But this Thursday, the book’s final fate was declared, and it looks like the Freedom Fighters - who once announced that they could handle anything - couldn’t quite beat the threat of cancellation. A lot of people dunk on the Archie Sonic comic for being overly convoluted, going through some pretty low points or appealing primarily to furries, and all of these things are kinda true, except for maybe the furry one. But warts and all, Archie Sonic is a glorious beast of monstrously complex proportions. First of all, let the fact that Sonic holds the record for having the longest-running North American comic for a licensed character sink in. Seriously, this series ran from 1992 to 2017 and nearly reached 300 freaking issues. In a time when most comics from Marvel and DC can barely reach double digits before either being renumbered to generate a temporary boost in sales or flat-out cancelled, Sonic the Hedgehog kept chugging along, stealthily reinventing itself from its original status as a slapdash funny book to an ongoing saga that manifested lore so deep that it warranted the release of an entire encyclopedia to help people keep everything straight.��

What’s even more interesting is that Archie Sonic became the one place where you could still see characters carried over from the DiC Saturday morning Sonic cartoon show, which was produced in 1993. The show, affectionately dubbed SatAM by everyone who watched it back in the day, frankly doesn’t hold up that well and is a good example of nostalgia goggles at work. It had an incredible theme song, though (SONIC! HE CAN REALLY MOVE! SONIC! HE’S GOT AN ATTITUDE! SONIC! HE’S THE FAAAASTEST THING ALIVE), and the show did do an admirable job of developing a backstory for a mascot who, at the time, had no characterization other than the fact that he was fast and collected rings. SatAM fixed this by putting Sonic in the surprisingly dark world of Mobius, a place ruled by Dr. Robotnik, a dictator who had “roboticized” the population by turning them into droids. It also gave the hedgepig a variety of characters to play off of, like Princess Sally, Antoine the cowardly French fox, Bunnie the half-roboticized rabbit and Rotor the walrus. Along with Tails, this lot was collectively referred to as the Knothole Freedom Fighters.  Archie Sonic got its start telling stories with the Freedom Fighters while they were still on air, and even after the show was cancelled, the comic continued using them, essentially turning itself into season three of the cartoon. As the decades passed, the SatAM characters and story threads evolved and changed in wondrously unexpected ways - Sonic and Sally fell in love, the original Dr. Robotnik was killed and replaced with a robotic version of himself from an alternate dimension, Bunnie and Antoine got married and Mobius was revealed to be a future version of Earth that was attacked by the Xorda, aliens who had unleashed gene bombs on the planet, mutating the wildlife into anthropomorphic animals. (This was my goddamn favorite batshit crazy bit of Sonic comic lore ever.) Furthermore, the comic increasingly began introducing more elements from the actual Sonic video games, which had finally developed deeper stories of their own thanks to the advancement of technology. So you had stuff like Sonic and the Freedom Fighters teaming up to fight Perfect Chaos and meeting Silver the Hedgehog and Blaze the Cat. It was an unusual, unique combination of Western and Eastern concepts melding together in one pictorial arena, and it made Archie Sonic feel special. 

Speaking of the games, the book was also special because it damn well carried Sonic’s presence in North America during the years when the blue guy wasn’t starring in many video games (the Sega Saturn era) and couldn’t star in any decent video games (the Sonic ‘06 era). Even when Sega was releasing shovelware that damaged the brand, Archie Sonic kept pumping out issues, and its sheer determination to keep going won it legions of dedicated fans. Many of these people, including myself, got stuck on the comic at a young age and stayed long-term. I personally started picking up issues in 1994 or 1995, so basically only three or so years after the book was out. I think I was seven years old. A few years later, I got a subscription and had the comic delivered to my mailbox every month. (I still remember my first issue - it was number 41, when Sonic, Sally and that douchebag skunk Geoffrey St. John went to the Zone of Silence to rescue King Acorn.) The subscription continued until I was in college, and only ended around my junior year, when I forgot to renew it because I was too busy applying to go abroad after graduation. 

In short, I subscribed to a periodical about a damn blue hedgehog for a large majority of my life. Even when I stopped regularly reading around issue 180, I always kept abreast of the book’s developments (like that crossover with MEGAMAN!) and told myself that I’d eventually catch up on the stories I missed, likely in the excellent Sonic Select and Sonic Archives trade paperbacks that Archie was publishing. And there were tons of others like me. The Archie Sonic community is such a vibrant one, filled with 90s kids who grew up on this book and even older folks like the crazy Dan Drazen, a 60-something librarian who wrote the most detailed (and overly picky) online reviews of every issue. Many of these fans went on to work for the comic at one point or another, like the incredible Dawn Best and fan favorite Ian Flynn, who swooped in as a writer in the late 2000s and saved the book when it was suffering from a spell of plodding stories. For a lot of us, Archie Sonic was the preferred Sonic canon, and we got pissed when Sega pulled awful jump the shark moments outta their butts - like having Sonic hook up with human princesses in his broken 2006 game - when there was a wealth of solid lore in this weird little comic coming out in America that they always seemed content to ignore.

In fact, the only time Sega really paid close attention to the book was when Ken Penders launched a lawsuit against it, which may have been a contributor to its eventual cancellation. People better than me have already scripted lengthy writeups about Mr. Penders, and I encourage you to read this extremely in-depth take on the whole fiasco, which is a bizarre tale of copyright arguments and delusions of grandeur worthy of any John Grisham novel. But in a nutshell, Ken was a former writer who helped guide Archie Sonic away from simple gag strips and into the realm of full-on adventure tales. His control over the book was major until he was fired, and a few years later, he went on a vehement quest to prove that he owned all characters he had created while working for Archie, including series mainstays like Julie-Su, Knuckles the Echidna’s girlfriend. He ended up suing Archie multiple times and won on legal loopholes, which prompted him to start attacking the book’s current team while declaring that a buttload of barely-related story concepts were his. He also tried suing Sega when Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood came out, claiming that the enemies in the game were too similar to ones he had whipped up. Archie eventually had to come up with a plot device to kill off (trap in another dimension, really) all of the characters he had created during his tenure, and eventually they instituted a full reboot to wipe continuity clean and remove all traces of the lawsuit from history. Unfortunately, the legal issues did some pretty heavy damage to Archie’s relationship with Sega, who were reportedly pissed that the American comic company had let things get so screwed up. And I don’t blame them. To the Sonic fan community, Ken Penders is largely loathed as a megalomaniac who sabotaged a long-running comic for personal gain. But he doesn’t deserve all of the blame, and he did put out some good stories in the day before going bonkers. Archie’s also at fault, both due to their not-so-great freelancer deals as well as their incompetence at handling lawsuits. (At one point the company even fired their entire legal team and hired new attorneys, yeesh.) In recent years, Archie also seems to be terrible at handling their finances, even though they’re currently spearheading Riverdale, a successful show on the CW that’s made all of their high school characters into hot, emo Millennials. (I call it the “Archie Sex Show” in my head.) I’ve heard rumors that company management wants to streamline their output to ONLY focus on Riverdale-related stuff, and seeing as how the Ken Penders business was a tremendous waste of time that ripped some large holes in their relationship with Sega, it only makes sense that both companies would decide to part ways.  So where do we go from here? Well, it was suddenly announced today that IDW Publishing would be the ones picking up the Sonic license for a relaunch of the book in 2018. IDW’s a fit place for Sonic, since they currently publish the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…which Archie once owned the license for. (Funny how these things go in circles, eh?) Unfortunately, I have a feeling that the current arc that was going on in the Archie books - a charming retelling of the Sonic CD story - is going to go unfinished, and I’m also fearful that we’ll be saying goodbye to the DiC Freedom Fighters. I’d LOVE to be proven wrong, and it would warm my heart to see Princess Sally, Bunnie Rabbot, Antoine, Rotor and Nicole survive a change in publishers. But since Sega’s never “officially” acknowledged those characters in a game (except for Sonic Spinball, which was made by an American studio and doesn’t really count) they’re likely going to be classified as expendable cannon fodder that are no longer relevant. There is some hope, though. Perhaps a miracle will occur and IDW will have the good sense to re-hire guys like Ian Flynn or maintain some semblance of the continuity that an entire generation knows and loves. Until the day we know for sure arrives, I’ll just have to re-read my old issues, revel in the glory of covers drawn by SPAZ, laugh at insane crossovers like the time Sonic met Spawn, and remember an era when a hedgehog with attitude and his Knothole friends kicked Dr. Robotnik’s butt and brought me twenty plus years of wonderful adventures.  For Mobius! For freedom!

The header image of the Archie Sonic cast was drawn by darkspeeds and found on Deviantart. The cover images are just a few of my favorites from the days when I was subscribed to the book, and were taken from Comic Vine and Cover Browser.

[remainingso]

i’ve come to burn your kingdom down

Warnings: Uhm. Incest for ts (it’s not graphic but a lot is implied)  Pairing: Luke/Leia :’D (Also Leia/Han)  Summary: Right so I had the Luke=Arthur and Kylo Ren=Mordred thought and went a step further into “so what if Luke was Ben’s father?” and this terrible thing is the result. 

They hadn’t known.

This is what Luke will tell himself, late nights on Ahch-To, when the sun has long set and the dark sea is infinite and he is alone, save for his own thoughts. They were just stupid kids. They didn’t know anything, not then.

It wasn’t their fault.

The day Ben was born, Luke almost hadn’t made it. He was off planet somewhere��he doesn’t even remember what planet it was anymore—sweeping the galaxy for force sensitive children to rebuild. Han’s flickering image had flashed in the visi-phone, dishevelled and panicked, and only then did Luke notice the strange aching throb ever-present in the periphery of his force senses.

“I just—I don’t know if I can do this, Luke,” Han muttered.

Is he coming? Leia shouted from somewhere out of view. Tell him if he doesn’t get his ass in his ship right this instant I swear I will cut his—

“I’m coming!” Luke practically yelped. “Tell her I’ll be there…I’ll be there soon as I can.”

“You better hurry,” Han grumbled. “She’s gonna take my head off.”

Luka had laughed, light, ecstatic. The baby was coming. Leia was going to be a mother. He was—

By the time he made it to the medbay, it was a flurry of beeping droids and people shouting orders at each other. Luke hung back around the door, watching in vague horror as masked nurses crowded around the bed.

The birthing apparatus had hidden all the mess, dirty bits of labour, whisking away the slick blood and viscera underneath its soft white edges, but Luke had felt it all through the force. The second he saw her, death grip on Han’s hand and hair askew and all, the dull aching pain he’d been feeling sharpened, all at once, like a lightsaber stabbed into his vertebrae. Luke’s knees had gone weak and he clutched at the doorframe.

No one noticed him, because before he could have both feet in room, Leia let out a throat shattering scream.

The room was a mess, shouts of he’s coming! and get ready! tossed back and forth, but everyone was drowned out by the ragged sound of Leia’s breathing as if it were right next to his ear. She bared her teeth and hissed out in pain, and when their eyes met across the room, she reached out to him with the force and pulled and—

In the ensuing silence, all Luke could hear was the sound of her baby boy, wailing.

The force likes to consume. This is the first thing Luke learns, when he dances too close to its depths and he can sense something reaching up, too, pulling at him.

Later, digging through the wreckage of the Republic, he finds records of a prophecy, wonders if the force likes to snack on chosen ones just because it can. The dark flickers at the edges of his vision, sometimes, paints the world black when he’s fought someone to a standstill. Says, go on, kill him, you know you want to, it would be so easy, and Luke wonders if being strong in the force meant that it spoke all the louder in your ear.

Anakin was all-force, only half a man in his best days. Luke has the reprieve, at least, of a mortal mother—and a sister to split the burden with.

Much, much later, digging through the wreckage of his own Academy, Luke wonders what happens when those two halves come into a whole, when everything that was in Anakin is allowed to come back together into a roughly person shaped form again.

What then?

How easy would it be, to fall? (How easy would it be for him to fall?)

Leia wanted him to name the baby.

Blinking, Luke looked up. “Me? Why?”

Leia shrugged. Her face was still haggard. They’d been moved to another room so there was less of the glaring white glow around now. Han had been sent off to acquire some food (“I don’t care where! Just find something before I starve to death.”)

She cradled the baby boy in her arms, more delicate than Luke had ever seen her handle anything.

“Han never met my parents,” she muttered, stroking at her baby’s face. “Just doesn’t feel right to name him after Bail.”

“I hope you didn’t ask me just because you’ve both met my father,” Luke said.

Leia snorted.

The truth of our father had never hung between them so potently as it had then.

Luke cleared his throat, and looked away. “That doesn’t mean I should name him.”

“I can’t think of anything,” Leia said quietly, her brows furrowed. “I don’t want to name him anything the Empire’s ever touched.” She squinted into a corner in the room, her hand stilling, and Luke suddenly wondered then about the wide gulf of life she’d lived before she knew the both of them, the years of growing up in Palpatine’s shadow. She’d only ever told them stories before, nothing concrete.

He sat down at the edge of the bed. Leia immediately shoved the baby in his arms, adjusting his grip so he was supporting his tiny head just under his hand.

She didn’t pull back, so the three of them were sitting tangled on the bed, Leia’s hand just at the small of Luke’s back, the both of them practically hugging the baby at the same time between them.

“Ben,” Luke said. “How about Ben?” It’d felt right, then. Old Ben had brought them all together, after all (brought him to her, and then to Han, and). He brushed a thumb over the baby’s forehead.

Leia smiled weakly. “I like that,” she whispered. “Ben.” She put a hand over his, the both of them unable to pull their hands away from baby Ben, if only just to feel his warmth, his light, the force of him too strong and pulling them both into his orbit.

Ben’s pulse hammered erratically under his paper thin skin. He shifted in his sleep, eyes blinking blearily, and Luke didn’t seem able to wipe the ear splitting grin off his face. Ben.

“Hey Leia?”

Luke looked up to see Han at the door, standing with a cup of… well something in his hand. He smiled sheepishly, swinging into the room. “I couldn’t find anything but this… well they said it was pudding, but I’m not sure if that’s the right word for it.”

He set the pudding on the table by Leia’s bed, and Luke jumped up to make room on the other side of the bed.

“Thanks Luke,” Han said gratefully when Luke passed baby Ben over to his arms.

Han looked like he was about to cry. He leaned down, letting out a shaky breath as he stared at his son. “Hey,” he whispered softly. “Did you like hanging with your Uncle Luke? I hope you didn’t miss your daddy too much, kiddo.”

“Ben,” Leia said. “His name is Ben.”

And, well, it’d been a mistake, even then.

It’d been—

Han was gone, and they weren’t sure if he was ever coming back, no matter how much Luke insisted. Han was nothing but a frozen hunk of carbonite, then, locked up in Jabba’s filthy palace like a trophy, and Luke had never forgotten, but he thinks later that maybe Leia had wanted to.

He still remembers the feeling of her lips on his, that time in the Falcon.

Somewhere inside, he knew he was to prove a point, but he still remembers her lips, and how soft they’d been, and how something inside him had sparked as if to say there you are.

(Too late, he realizes it’d been the force, recognizing itself, wanting to twist into a monstrous mobius strip of more more more.)

So it’d been—

It’d been kisses in the dark, groping in the bunkers of Yavin IV, the sweet sheen of sweat on Leia’s brow. It’d been his hands scratching at her back, wanting to press her as close to him as possible, for the light inside them to engulf them both.

Han was gone, and Leia wanted to forget, and Luke was lonely, hungry, desperate.

He went to her.

All these years later, and he regrets this the most.

He went to her.

She hadn’t said no, had welcomed him with open arms and—

But he went to her.

Mere weeks after Endor, Leia was throwing up.

The baby is unusually developed for this stage in the pregnancy, the doctors had told her. Are you sure you have the right date of conception?

Leia had glared. A month before Endor Han was a wall decoration. When the hell else would it have been?

She looked at Luke, then, snuck a terrified glance to him under Han’s ever present gaze that Luke hasn’t forgotten since.

Luke had pressed his lips together, shook his head, and they never spoke of it.

But, even then, they both knew.

People often said that Ben had his mother’s eyes, dark and unyielding. Tall, just like his dad. Cheekbones like his mom.

Luke sees something else.

Wreathed in the flames he set, Ben doesn’t look a thing like Han Solo. His lips are twisted in a scowl, teeth bared in raw rage. That part is all Leia. The tension in his shoulders, the way he stalked forward after the rest of the fleeing students, that part is all Luke.

Each wild swing of the lightsaber is all-force.

Luke stumbles back, the remaining skin on his hand burning away in the roaring inferno. It burns even against the rain.

Hissing steam rises up from the rocks around Ben. He is finally still, shoulders rising and falling in ragged breaths that Luke can hear as if right from his ear. He swings the spitting lightsaber again in a long, looping arc that slices through the rockface, as if only to show that he can.

The red reflects in his eyes.

Luke feels it—the raw tension of the force, the strain, the pull—except this time it’s not tugging at him. He feels the light, too, the gentle light, shining down on them like moonlight from far away. Ben stands half in shadow, half in that tender glow.

Ben does not have Leia’s eyes. Leia’s eyes aren’t as dark, had never been half-tinged with madness. Ben has eyes that Luke has only ever seen in old, flickering holograms, Anakin’s eyes, Skywalker eyes.

It is a terrible thing, when disparates parts that were meant to stay apart came crashing together.

Oh Leia, Luke thinks, we’ve made a monster.