#I’m going to do a character design thing for damn again

[fregget-frou]

Caelum RAAA

[am-i-interrupting]

Hello! I'd like to request a little scenario thing with all the hazbin hotel characters you write for. This will probably sound stupid, but I just got my nails done for the first time ever, and I was thinking about how the hazbin crew might react cause I have been so excited to show them off!

If you don't want to do all of the characters, then I totally get it, I mainly want Husk and Vox. (And angel dust, but I'm not sure if you write for him)

Romantic pls!!!! Thank you so much if this is considered!!

You’ve unknowingly poked at an interest of mine. If ya care to know, I’m actually about to start school to become a nail technician next month.

(Part two— the gals)

Alastor

Alastor noticed immediately and was curious.

He’d grab your hand and carefully examine each fingernail.

He’d compliment the color and design.

He might question the shape and length, mainly for function purposes.

If you got acrylics, he would question how you planned to get things done and laugh during your adjustment period.

If you ever poked your eye (especially if you got stiletto nails), he would smile and say something along the lines of “Well, what did you expect, my dear?”

He does love how they make you happy though.

Not enough to not make fun of you when they cause you to fuck something up, but enough to accompany you to the salon a time or two.

He’d hover over your shoulder and watch everything the poor nail tech did, questioning everything with a genuine interest.

He would not help you if your nail broke off despite this though.

His interest is just fleeting and a want for knowledge and once again, “What did you expect, my dear?”

Husk

Husk looked at people’s hands a lot.

He’s a gambler and a slight of hand expert. It’s second nature.

He picks up instantly and makes sure to give you a gruff comment about how they look.

He didn’t expect you to light up and stick your hand in his face but he wouldn’t complain. He likes seeing you happy.

He will be honest with you when you ask for his opinion on the color or design.

Don’t expect him to sugar coat it. If he thinks the colors clash or the design isn’t good past a first glance, he lets you know.

Over time he becomes sort of casually knowledgeable about the subject.

At least to the point where if you ask him for a design idea, he’d give you a pretty damn good one and even be able to decide between if matte or gloss top coat would look better.

His favorite shapes are the coffins.

They’re blunt enough to not scratch but sharp enough to itch.

He will be just attention seeking enough for you to notice when you get him.

Give him scratches between the eyes and bridge of his nose with them and he’s a fucking goner.

Lucifer

He probably wouldn’t notice at first unless you told him or until he grabbed your hand while cuddling.

It’s not that he doesn’t care. He very much does care. However, he’s not the most observant unless it’s an obvious change.

As soon as it’s come to his attention though he is fawning.

He will absolutely gush over your nails.

Compliments everything, the color, the shape, the design, the length. Just absolutely everything.

He’s asking you how they make you feel and listening to you with a love-sick smile.

He would be willing to go get his nails done with you.

Very surprised at how relaxing he found it and how much he liked it. Will go with you again.

Vox

He notices something is up almost immediately.

If you didn’t burst into his office as soon as you walked out the salon, then he noticed when you went to bed. Or more accurately, he went to bed.

He works a lot of late nights to maintain his image so in all likelihood, you were probably asleep when he got home.

Crawling into bed with you, you roll over to cuddle with him, give him a kiss, and rub your hand down his arm or chest.

He’d grab it, feeling something different immediately, even if you just got polish, but you were already back asleep.

The next morning he’d mention them as you both got ready for the day.

I can see him drinking coffee as he watched you talk about your nails, absolutely smitten.

He would always demand to see your nails when you got new ones.

“Alright, what have you got this time?”

He would give his honest opinion on what he thought.

No holding back with this man.

Would provide you with the money to get any style, design, whatever you want.

He just loves seeing you happy.

[rollinouttahere]

Joyride

Yandere Strawhats + Ace x Isekai Reader

2.2k words

Part 2

Yet again, this fic is inspired by @lovelybrooke ‘s Isekai reader stories.

I also want to say thank you for all the support and kind comments on the last story I wrote! I’ve actually been working on my own yandere one piece fic that I’m hoping to start posting in a few days give or take, so if you like what I’ve written so far, keep an eye out for that! All future writings are gonna be posted on my writing blog @rollinouttahere-writes​ so go follow that blog if you’re interested!

Trying to act normal and inconspicuous in the One Piece universe was a far from easy task. Being the massive fan of the series that you were, it was damn hard to not give away that you knew all about the crew that was so generously letting you stay with them after appearing on their ship with zero explanation.

It became even harder to stay lowkey when Ace temporarily joined up with the Strawhats. All you wanted was to hug that man and tell him how loved he is and that he deserves to live just as much as anyone else, but you really couldn’t say or do any of that without looking weird. You’ll just have to settle for being extremely nice to him, which was very easy.

Ace himself was already an easy guy to get along with (now at least), but he was noticeably very interested in you. You couldn’t blame him, what with Luffy almost immediately outing your insane situation to him. He seemed incredulous at first, but warmed up to and accepted the story way faster than you expected. It didn’t take long for his questions to go from feeling like an interrogation to being genuine.

You were so busy soaking up the attention from such a beloved character that you almost missed how jealous your crewmates were getting. Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper were taking it the best. Chopper probably because he was still so new to the crew that he wasn’t all that bothered by one of them not paying as much attention to him. Usopp was too busy building Nami’s weapon to concern himself with it too much. Meanwhile, Luffy was just so happy to see Ace again that he didn’t really notice that you were spending a lot of time with him. That, and he would usually be hanging out with both of you anyways. 

The others though, oh boy did they not like this. Nami was the most blatant about it, straight up glowering at you and Ace whenever you two were too close for her liking. You’re pretty sure the only thing keeping her from up and dragging you away from him is Luffy dismissing her complaints and telling her to stop fretting over it. You love being a part of their crew, so she should quit worrying!

Sanji and Zoro were both vying for your attention in their own ways as well. Sanji suddenly wanted more help around the kitchen, insisting that he needed an extra pair of hands now that there was another mouth to feed. Given that Ace’s appetite was on par with Luffy’s, you could understand the desire for help. Zoro’s attempts were considerably less convincing. One time he wanted you to spot him while he was working out, making you laugh right in his face at the mere idea that you would be able to help him with the ridiculous weights he lifts. His face had gone bright red after you pointed it out to him, prompting him to walk away immediately, much to your amusement.

Right now, though, you weren’t with Ace. Him and Luffy were busy doing something and you didn’t want to butt in on all their time together. Instead, you were ogling Ace’s boat that was currently tied to the side of the Going Merry.

You absolutely loved the design of his ship, it was such a clever idea to use his devil fruit ability to power a steam engine and make what looks like a tiny sailboat function like a jet ski. It didn’t appear in the anime too many times but everytime it was on screen it looked so cool. 

“I wonder what it’d be like to ride that,” you quietly mused to yourself.

“Wanna find out?”

You almost jumped out of your skin at the sudden arrival of Ace. He laughed at your reaction, not a care in the world for the near heart attack he just gave you.

“Oh my God, Ace, you scared the hell out of me!” You lightly slapped at his shoulder, your other hand resting over your now racing heart.

He laughed some more, “I could tell, and I’m sorry about that.” He didn’t sound even vaguely sorry. Ace elbowed your side, “But seriously, do you want to go for a ride?”

The offer had you staring wide-eyed at him. Then the boat. Then back at him again. “Really? Are you sure?” You were desperately trying to keep your cool and not show how insanely excited you were about the idea.

“Of course! I wouldn’t have offered it if I wasn’t. Come on,” he hopped up onto the railing and held his hand out to you. You didn’t need to mull it over, eagerly taking hold and stepping up with him. As soon as you did, he wrapped an arm around you and was ready to jump down onto his boat when Nami started yelling.

“Woah, woah, woah, what the hell are you two doing???” Nami, who was previously pruning her trees, had abandoned the activity entirely in favor of sprinting over to where you were and grabbing onto your leg.

“(Y/N) wanted to try riding my boat, so we’re going for a little joyride, that’s all,” Ace flashed Nami a dazzling smile, not at all deterred by her interruption.

“No way! What if they fall off? That thing doesn’t look safe at all!” Nami was now pulling on you, trying to get you down from the railing.

Ace held on tighter in response, “It’s perfectly safe, it has to be. I’m a devil fruit user, remember? (Y/N) isn’t, so really, I’m in more danger on that than they are. It’s fine.”

You could tell Nami was ready to argue more, but thankfully Luffy piped up, “Don’t worry about it Nami! If Ace says it’s safe then it’s safe!” Luffy, who was perched on his special seat at the bow, came bounding over, “But I wanna go next!”

“Sure thing, Luffy, we’ll be back in a bit,” Ace was quick to jump down with you in tow, not wanting to give any of the other Strawhats a chance to object. After untying it from the Going Merry, he knelt down slightly, “Hop on my back, you’re not gonna want to have your feet down there when we get going.”

Not wanting to get set on fire, you obliged. If you weighed anything to him, he didn’t show it, simply standing up straight as soon as you were on. “Ready?”

You excitedly nod your head, holding on tight to Ace in preparation. It was a good thing too, because he decided to immediately start at the leisurely speed of what felt like mach 7. A shriek emits from your throat as you take off. You think you can hear Nami yelling something again, but couldn’t make it out over your own screaming and the noise of the steam engine roaring to life.

Ace laughed loudly at your reaction, but did slow down slightly, “Sorry about that, I just wanted to get some distance before anyone else tried to stop us.” One of his arms let go of your leg and tugged at your arms around his neck, “But would you mind easing up a bit? I won’t be able to take us back if you choke me out.” 

“Oh oops, I’m sorry!” You immediately loosened your arms and readjusted them. Accidentally strangling Ace was not something you wanted to do today. Or any day really.

He simply shrugged it off, telling you not to worry about it. It’s not like you could really hurt him. “I’m gonna speed up again, you ready for it this time?”

The second you confirm that you are, the boat lurches forward, cutting through the waves like nothing. Now that you weren’t panicking, you could properly take in the experience and thoroughly enjoy it. 

The wind was whipping through your hair and sea water misted the air, droplets clinging to both yours and Ace’s hair. He hit a particularly big wave causing the boat to go airborne for a moment before crashing back down. You found yourself laughing and cheering as Ace continued to show off, which only egged him on more.

After a while, Ace slowed to a stop and let you down from his back. “C’mere, step up on this,” he stepped to the side and motioned for you to step up onto the front of his boat. His hands rested on your hips to keep you steady, presumably not wanting to get chewed out by Nami if you came back sopping wet. 

“This is one of the best parts of being at sea,” he was staring straight ahead. “Sunsets out here are something else, you don’t get a view like this on land.”

He was completely correct, it was beautiful. Orange, red, and pink hues colored the sky and reflected gorgeously in the ocean. It was a breathtaking view, one you would remember forever.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, quietly admiring the view with nothing but the natural sounds of the ocean around you. It was nice, very peaceful. 

“What do you think about staying here?”

You tense at Ace suddenly speaking. “Like staying out here a little longer?” As lovely as this was, the others were bound to get antsy if you stayed out after dark.

“No, I mean staying here in this world,” he stepped closer to you, wrapping his arms fully around you and resting his head on your shoulder to be able to see your face. “It’s nice here, right? Why not stick around? I know Luffy wants you to. Hell, I’m sure the rest of the crew does, too.”

You were taken aback by this statement, and weren’t really sure how to respond. Sure, it could be nice here when you all weren’t being hunted for sport by marines, but this wasn’t a place you could see yourself staying long term. That, and you had a life back home, you couldn’t just throw your friends and family to the wind like that.

Sucking in a breath, you searched for the nicest way to say all that. “It is nice here, but I have to go back.” You could feel his posture stiffen behind you, “Don’t get me wrong, you all have been super nice to me! It’s just that I’ve got all my friends and family back home and I miss them terribly.”

“Your family?” Ace said this so quietly that you weren’t even sure he was saying that to you. Abruptly, he straightened up, “I know! If you want a family so bad you can join the Whitebeard pirates!”

What? You joining the Whitebeard pirates? You already feel inadequate enough around the Strawhats, you can’t imagine how pathetic you would feel around those people. Of course, it would be awesome to get to meet them, but you want to keep to yourself as much as possible since you will eventually have to go back home.

While you were thinking, Ace kept going, “Pops would love you, I just know it. We haven’t gotten another sibling in a while, everyone would be psyched to meet you.” His once comforting hug was growing tighter by the second. Suffocating even.

“Ace-”

“And you already have friends with my brother’s crew, so that’s all taken care of!”

“Ace, ple-”

“Of course, I’m your friend too, but after you join I’ll be your big brother!”

“ACE!” Your yell startled him, mercifully making him let go of you. You take the opportunity to inch forward and create some distance, however minute.  “That’s,” oh, how to put this without hurting his feelings, “that’s very kind of you to offer, but I’d rather stay with the Strawhats for now.”

“Oh…” You don’t even need to turn around to know how disappointed he was by this declaration. He chuckled awkwardly, “I’m sorry about that, looks like I got a little carried away there.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” frankly, you just wanted to go back to the ship after that. The atmosphere was uncomfortable now.

After a few more seconds of silence, Ace cleared his throat and spoke again, “We should probably head back now, it’s gonna be dark soon.”

You were quick to agree and clambered onto his back, “Yeah that’s a good idea, Nami would throw a fit if we stay out much longer.” She’ll probably be mad regardless, but still.

Ace got his boat going and began the trip back. The Going Merry was a lot further away than you’d realized, it was so small that you could just barely make it out in the distance. You internally cringe, your crewmates are no doubt unhappy about you being this far away.

Despite the distance, you couldn’t help but notice how slow Ace was going compared to earlier. It’s like he wanted to drag this out for as long as possible. You decided not to call him out on it, not deeming it worth it.

“I’m not giving up, you know.”

“What?” 

“I’ll drop it for now, but I’m not giving up on you joining Whitebeard’s crew. Just… think about it, okay?” Ace’s voice was quiet, just barely loud enough to hear over the engine. 

The rest of the ride back remained dead silent, giving you plenty of time to mull over what just happened. It felt so… Weird. Out of character, really. He’s known you for, what? 24 hours? If that. Yet he’s trying to talk you out of going home and seems dead set on replacing your family with his own. Granted, everyone’s been more clingy than you thought normal, but this was downright bizarre. 

You really need to find a way home, and fast.

[biibini]

Hiii! I love your hcs! Can I request a scenario of going on a date to an arcade with Mizu? (and possibly winning her a Snoopy plushie??)

fluff modern!mizu x reader at an arcade date (request)

tags: fluff, arcade date, modern!mizu, reader & mizu are already dating, date nights, snoopy reference, sweet kisses, author loves love, author wishes that was her with mizu,

a/n: thank YOU for reading my hcs! that one mizu & snoopy post is so adorable i just want my girl to be happy :,) also i’m starting school AGAIN i can never catch a break w this damned quarter system

modern!mizu & u are already dating in this scenario

but every other week would be a date night

it didn’t matter if it was a simple or extravagant date

it was always a designated time to catch up, spend quality time together, and experience new things

even with the busyness of college and classes and homework, it was still a night to look forward to

this upcoming friday was a night at the arcade

u had been there with friends before but it had been a couple months since ur last visit

it wss also mizu’s first time going to the arcade w u as a date

u had already talked ab the games u wanted to try together such as the mario kart, a few shooting games, airhockey

modern!mizu would def let her competitive side come out with some games

she already gets competitive with taigen when it comes to sports

she totally doesnt rock his shit in basketball

if she’s against you, she’ll go easy on you

doesn’t mean she won’t back down from a fight

You and Mizu were hand in hand, checking out the games available at the arcade. Going down one of the aisles, you found yourselves at the some of the newer arcade games. Skimming at some of them, you hear a familiar sound.

Hadoken!

It was soon followed with a grunt and fighting groans. You turn back to find a Super Street Fighter game, patiently waiting to be played. Your eyes widen as they found the perfect challenge.

You playfully tugged at Mizu’s hand, pointing at the retro machine.

“I bet I can beat you at the Street Fighter.” you said, lightly jabbing at her competitive spirit. You knew she would put her all in it. However, you wondered of its limit.

Mizu glanced at you, and then looked back to spot the machine. Her eyes ignited, seeing the challenge put right in front of her by her

“You in?” you say, defying her in a playful tone.

“You bet.”

so um

turns out that was the WORSE POSSIBLE GAME YOU COULD CHALLENGE MIZU TO

u played a little bit with friends and family but mizu was on another level

how exactly did mizu beat ur ass for 5 rounds straight???

old man eiji.

he was a retro arcade go-er during his prime

even had the game console to continue his practice at home

if he wasn’t welding or fixing up someone’s bike, he was definitely spending his time grinding on the game

so modern!mizu end up playing games with him bc he got sick and tired of the computer bots

Player 2 Wins blinks again on the screen while her character, Ryu, celebrates another round of victory. You slowly turn to face Mizu to find a grin forming on her face.

“Wanna go again, baby?”, she taunts, hugging your hips closer to her.

You blankly stare into her eyes, your orbs empty from defeat. Mizu already knew your answer.

“Let’s find one we can both do.”, she said as she gave you a quick peck on the cheek. Her arm wrapped around your shoulder, beginning your hunt for the next game to win together.

modern!mizu would def try to win u a prize

actually no not one

all of them. yes she will try.

do not let her in a round1

iykyk

that is plushie heaven and credit/debit hell

her poor card will be spent trying to win u a prize

she wouldn’t outright announce her achievements

but she would attempt to sneak away from u, hoping to get lucky and win a plushie or two

u loved and appreciated the sweet thought

but

there was no room on the bed, the bookshelves, the desk, the couch

mizu even brought a couple plushies back home but her old man started to complain about mizu and u coming by just to drop off plushies and not see him

(he likes the plushies but bro is alone with his craft and misses his girl sometimes)

if u eyed any specific prize, modern!mizu would stop for nothing to earn it for u

at the arcade, u eyed a snoopy plushie, stuck in a claw game (for a little too long) and pouted at how cute it was

like cmon it was rlly cute

he had a puffer and a lil hat

mizu immediately saw ur reaction and locked in

Mizu’s arm slides off your shoulder. You look back, hoping to find the missing arm. No arm, no Mizu.

Instead, you find her striding over to the claw machine you just stared at with a goal in mind. Snoopy was coming with you, one way or another. The thought of Snoopy being in your arms was nice, but there was no way she was going to get it.

First off, your bedroom was already filled with plushies. Peace and love to all of them. They were practically your babies. However, every flat surface or shelf had a plushie. Every. Single. Surface.

The bed was crowded as well. No way there would be space for another plushie. There was also no way that she would go back home to drop off more plushies. Eiji was at his limit with the amount she dropped off during the last time.

Secondly, she had already spent so much money trying to get twinning plushies for the both of you. Her poor credit card was taking hit after hit after hit. Mizu drastically failed after every attempt and you had to basically pull her away from the machine after her 11th time.

Third of all, the both of you were getting ready to leave the arcade for dinner. After getting demolished by Mizu 5 rounds in a row at Super Street Fighter, you didn't have much energy in you to play more games.

But once Mizu gets set on something, it's hard to pull her away from it. It was already difficult separating her from her failed claw games earlier. You just decided to accept the outcomes of this claw machine this time around.

On the other hand, Mizu was in the zone. She studied the position of the plushie, focusing on how far back Snoopy sat. She slid the arcade card, starting her future attempts to retrieve the plushie. She bit the inside of her cheek as her hand carefully held the joystick. The machine jingled, starting its countdown.

0:30

Mizu took a deep breath, closing her eyes.

Focus Mizu.

0:29

You can get this for Y/N.

0:28

Mizu opens her eyes, pushing the joystick to the right in hopes of aligning the claw with Snoopy. She then pushes the joystick forward, nudging it as it gains proximity to the dog plushie.

0:23

The claw seemed right above Snoopy. Although it made you satisfied, Mizu couldn't agree. Something felt off.

0:21

She nudged the joystick to the left once.

0:20

Still unsatisfied, she pushed the claw back. Her eyes squinted, hoping to gain a clearer view of the claw and its alignment.

0:18

She continues to stare at the placement, studying it. Almost watching it like prey.

You watch from behind as you hear the faint sounds of laughing and other arcade games being played go off. In front of you is complete silence and concentration.

0:10

Mizu nudges the joystick forward.

0:09

She gets closer to the game. At this point, her face is practically smudging her view.

0:07

She nudges the joystick to the right once again. She sees the claw fully aligned with the plushie.

0:06

Should I press the button?

0:05

Mizu's eyes glance up and down, hoping to draw the line between the claw and your future prize.

0:04

You watch as her right hand is sitting on top of the collect button. Her fingers are so close to pushing it, practically edging the top of the button. They're ready to take the chance yet her hands refuse to commit.

0:02

"Drop it, Mizu."

0:01

She nudges the joystick one more time, bringing it slightly forward.

0:00

You come up next to her, watching the claw machine slowly descend down to the gigantic pile of plushies, a mix of Snoopy merchandise. Yet only one got your heart.

The claw extends, closing in on the plushie you stared at earlier. Its thin, metal arms wrap around Snoopy's head. It tightened its grip, securing Snoopy in the arm.

You watch the plushie slowly ascend. The both of you carefully watch the claw bring the prize. As the claw continued its journey to the drop-off corner, it slightly swung back and forth. You grab Mizu's right hand, holding it in anticipation and fear. She squeezes it once.

You look up to meet her gaze only to find a reassuring smile. You mirror her, giving her one back. You hear a small thud below. Mizu bends down to find your beloved Snoopy, handing him to you.

Your eyes widen. Snoopy was much cuter up close, especially with his little hat and baby blue puffer jacket. Looking up, you spot a proud Mizu. You simply get closer to her and give her a sweet kiss on the lips.

"Thank you, baby."

"Of course," she answers. "Anything for you, my dear."

She backs away and extends her hand out: an invitation to lunch.

You smile, accepting the invitation. With intertwined hands, you leave the arcade with another plushie in hand.

[ladykailitha]

The Magic of Christmas Part 2/8

You know how in the first part I told you Steve's experiences were a lot like mine? Well his opinions on alignments in D&D are also mine.

Just the best friends looking out for our boys. They'll come around.

Part 1

***

Eddie came bounding up the stairs to his loft, contract clutched in his hand. He threw open the door to see Chrissy on their sofa munching on leftover Chinese food right out of the box.

“Sir Edward the brave!” she greeted. “How went the meeting with the dragon?”

Eddie tipped over the arm of the couch, landing face first next her, his legs bent at the knee straight in the air.

Chrissy ran her fingers through his hair. “That bad?”

Eddie held up the paper and she took gingerly. She set her food down on the coffee table and began to read the contract.

“Shit, Eddie,” she whispered. “This is insane. He’s basically offering to pay for all your bills for the next six months so you can work on his commission without worry.”

“Aswllasexpnses...” he mumbled into the sofa cushion.

Chrissy’s eyebrows shot up. “All your paint, brushes and canvases?” Eddie nodded. “Is this guy touched in the head? Like more money then sense?”

Eddie brought his knees underneath him like a worm and sat up. “No. He’s really sweet. I looked him up on the way to the meeting. He inherited the business and his money from his dad. The business actually lost money for the first two years he took over because he made the company private again. He bought all the stocks and closed it on the stock market. Then spent those two years doing away with all the shady business shit that his old man had built the business on.”

“An ethical business man?” Chrissy asked skeptically. “Isn’t that like an oxymoron or something?”

Eddie shrugged. “I guess. But seriously he was super sweet and like is my biggest fan. Like unironically.”

She blinked at him. “And he doesn’t want anything...well sexual from you?”

“We joked about that,” Eddie said with a huff of laughter. “But no. He’s just painfully earnest.”

“Oh my god,” she hissed. “You’re already half in love with this guy, aren’t you?”

Eddie blushed. “I’m trying hard not to be. Like really, really trying.”

Chrissy sighed. “You better take it. You know you won’t be able to live with yourself if you turn this down. What’s the subject matter?”

“D&D.”

“Christ!” she spat. “If there was a honey trap designed especially for you, this would be it. Hot guy, because he is, isn’t he?” Eddie nodded, pursing his lips. “Hot guy, rich, willing to pay for everything for six months for you to do a major D&D piece. The only thing that would make it perfect is kids or your NSFW shit.”

Eddie blushed. “It’s not exactly kids. But the painting is for these guys he used to babysit when they were kids and they’ve had these characters since they were fucking twelve.”

Chrissy sighed. “Are you should you’ve never met this guy, because hot damn, Eddie, he’s got you all figured out.”

Eddie barked out a laugh. “I think I would remember that face if I had. He is too good to be true, sure. But like you said, there is no way I’m going to get a better offer this year. This lifetime even.”

She grabbed her purse from the side of the couch and dug around for a pen. She pulled it out and handed it to him.

Eddie nodded and signed the contract. There. It was done.

*

Their next meeting was a bit more formal. As in it was actually on the books instead of Steve trying to get around Robin so she wouldn’t tease him about hiring his favorite artist to paint something for his little nuggets.

Eddie had pulled his chair up to the desk so that he could put his notepad on it. He cracked his knuckles.

“All righty,” he said cheerfully, “whacha got for me, Stevie?”

Out of another leather folio Steve pulled out four pieces of paper and slid them over.

“These aren’t the originals,” he explained. “I got Dustin’s mom who works at the library to make copies while he was in class.”

Eddie picked up the papers and gasped. “Their character sheets! Holy hell, man. These are like the holy grail. Why did Dustin have all four?”

“Lucas has the habit of losing his and Mike tends to forget his at home,” Steve explained, “and Will has never done anything wrong in his life, but they all agreed since they play at Dustin’s house all the character sheets are kept there.”

Eddie laughed. “Fair enough.”

This would make it easier to design the characters. By a lot.

Steve bit his bottom lip. “I have something else that might help you, but I don’t know how you feel about basing your art on other people’s work.”

Eddie frowned. “What do you mean?”

Steve pulled out another piece of paper, this one showing four characters fighting a beholder. It was good, but not even on the level of Eddie’s earlier work.

“Who did this?” he asked.

“Will,” Steve replied. “But I didn’t want to ask him to do it because it was partly for him, too.”

Eddie nodded. “No, actually this will help.”

Steve lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he said with a big smile. “Knowing what they think their characters look like will help makes sure I don’t fuck it up for them.”

Steve relaxed. “Oh that’s great. I’m so glad. I didn’t want to step on anyone’s shoes with this. I really want everyone to be happy.”

“I will do my best,” Eddie promised. “But you know, I have to ask...why a purple dragon?”

“Oh,” Steve said with a blush. “It’s because they can shapeshift into human-like creatures.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shot up. “Do you play D&D, Stevie?”

Steve shook his head. “No, but I like to read the handbooks. They’re interesting. Plus, I like looking at your artwork.”

“All chromatic dragons are chaotic evil, you know?” he said with a smirk.

Steve scoffed. “I always thought that was bullshit. If other sentient beings like elves, dwarves, humans and gnomes can be any alignment then so should dragons.”

Eddie laughed. “Only the handbook says that other than humans each race tends toward neutral, chaotic, or lawful.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Which is also ridiculous. It’s like saying only humans can be of any alignment because they don’t live long enough to be set in their ways. Like a dwarf who had lived for a couple centuries couldn’t be chaotic? Or an elf?”

“You certainly have a lot of opinions for someone who doesn’t play,” Eddie said with a smirk.

Steve flushed. “Dustin is one of those people that will steamroll over top of you if you can’t keep up with the conversation.”

“Ah.”

Eddie knew several players that were like that. Most of them were insufferable know-it-all rules lawyers. He had a feeling that Dustin was like that too.

“He’s their wizard,” Steve said. “Mike is a paladin, Lucas is a ranger, and Will is their rogue.”

Eddie nodded as he shifted through the papers Steve had had given him.

“What’s your favorite color of dragon?” he blurted out.

Steve blinked at him for a moment. “It’s really stupid.”

“Hey.” Eddie kicked the desk and he startled. “No limiting yourself. That includes thinking your favorites are dumb.”

Steve blushed deeply. “Yellow. It’s my favorite color. Plus it’s super rare. Then I found out chromatic dragons are all evil...”

“And suddenly your favorite is considered sus,” Eddie said with a nod of his head.

“Also how are metallic dragons the good ones?” Steve asked. “Like wouldn’t they be the greedy ones?”

Eddie smiled. “How many people told you picking the gold dragon was the same as picking the yellow one?”

Steve’s jaw dropped. He licked his lip slowly and then bit down on it.

“All of them, huh?”

Steve nodded. “It’s ridiculous. But I just don’t think that gold and yellow are the same color.”

“Oh they absolutely aren’t,” Eddie said, his smile growing wider. “And if anyone gives you hell about it send them my direction.”

Steve clasped his fingers together and leaned on his forearms. “That’s something else. They are going to find out that I am meeting with you on reg.”

“So what’s the cover story?” Eddie asked.

Steve ducked his head and Eddie’s eyebrows shot up.

“I was thinking of your charity, Roll for Initiative,” he admitted. “My kids...I can’t keep calling them that, they’re adults. But anyway. Having a large empty house for them to play D&D in when they kept getting kicked out of places to play. First their high school and then Mike’s parents house.”

Steve shrugged.

“But I know they were lucky because they had me. And I know that kids just like them would be kicked out their schools and libraries in the most conservative parts of the country. If they were allowed at all. I want to help you branch out more than just local.”

It was Eddie’s turn for his jaw to drop. “You want to help my charity?”

He had been wanting to take it on a national level, but never had the manpower to do it. And here was Steve offering to do just that.

Steve nodded. “Yeah,” he said with smile. “Just let us handle it. And we can combine meetings to go over the charity and you can show me your progress on the paintings.”

Eddie nodded back. He didn’t have the words. He squeaked his goodbyes and left.

Chrissy was going to freak.

*

Robin watched the flustered Eddie head to the elevator with more than a passing interest.

She calmly got up and walked into Steve’s office without even a knock or any notice she was coming in.

Steve raised an eyebrow at her.

Robin slid into one the chairs into front of his desk. “You gonna to keep blowing that poor man’s mind or are you going to ease up at some point so that he has the capacity to do this painting of yours?”

“I did my homework when it comes to the guy,” he huffed, “so what?”

Robin’s eyes went wide. “You put less effort into wooing your dates then you did trying to get this painting done. You have to see that’s a problem.”

“Only if you make it one,” Steve groused. “I admire this work.”

She scoffed. “I’ve seen his work. My personal favorite was female elf getting pegged by the female orc barbarian.”

Steve blushed. “Shut up. You know it’s not like that.”

“Do I?” she pushed. “This isn’t lord of the manor fucking his live-in artist.”

“I’ve already made that joke,” he sniffed. “He found it funny.”

Robin snorted. “He seems like the kind that would. Only it’s not funny if he hollers sexual harassment.”

He had been facing to the side and he turned his chair to face her directly. “That implies two things. That I’m trying to get into his pants and that he would be against it.”

“It wouldn’t matter if he consented, Steve,” she hissed. “You literally own him. He is a kept man.”

“You can’t have it both ways!” Steve snapped. “Either I’m paying for all of him, including sex or he can’t consent because I’m his boss.”

She threw her arms into the air. “Why are you even doing this?”

He glared at her. “I don’t have ulterior motives. I just wanted to do something nice for the kids. They’re going to be spreading far across the country after they graduate from college. Some to get advanced degrees, others to start their careers. I just want something special that they could take with them to remember everyone by.”

Robin sighed. “Okay. I get it. You’ll miss them, too. I keep forgetting they’re not the little twerps that used to beg for rides.”

“Yeah.”

She reached over the desk and took his hand. He gave hers a squeeze.

“I’m going to miss them something fierce.”

“I know, dingus,” she murmured. “I know.”

***

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

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[wardenparker]

Bright Lights & Broken Dreams - pt 1

Dieter Bravo x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst​

Rating: E for Explicit! 18+   Word Count: 19.6k Warnings: Drug and alcohol use (duh, it’s Dieter), mentions of dieting/food concerns, past pregnancy scare, young Dieter being a bit sleazy, the absolute sass of these two, emotional damage, self-doubt, puppy love, vaginal sex, protected sex, workplace quickie, one very determined slap, yelling/arguing, anger, mention of addiction. Summary: Taking a new film project at the last minute puts you in immediate proximity with the one man you swore you would never work with again - your old flame, Dieter Bravo. Notes: This story contains flashbacks! Nobody is underage, but it’s worth giving you a heads up, lovely reader, because this story jumps around in time.

It doesn't matter how many times you do this, each table read for a new project is always exciting. The feeling of giddiness starts in your toes and rolls all the way through you to the top of your head. It has you up and awake and ready to go this morning even without the coffee that is piping hot in your travel mug as you pull your car into one of the designated spots behind the soundstage in the studio lot. Ten years in Hollywood have been good to you - really good, if you're honest. And the years on Broadway had been amazing before that.

You've never taken for granted how impressive your resume is or how upward your career continues to climb, and that includes days like today. The studio had asked for you specifically, your agent said on the phone last night. Some timing issue with the original star that the director wanted and the producers were jumping on it to bring you in instead. No audition necessary, all contract terms agreed to with no questions asked. She even managed to negotiate a slightly higher salary for you than usual. Your best paid project to boot and it will be a character-driven drama. Surefire Oscar nominations. Everyone is over the moon about the project, she said. The only thing she didn't know was who you were playing opposite. Doesn't matter, you had told her cheerily. I'm a professional.

For the most part, the cast has arrived already when you walk into the room. There are some faces you recognize and some that you don't, but everyone is chatting merrily as they set themselves up at the table. Your coffee and water, pencil and highlighter all neatly frame the shooting script that the production assistant sets down in front of you when he also sets down your name tag - letting the other people in the room know who you are and who you're playing in the film. There's only one empty seat with five minutes left before the reading is set to begin, and you're busy replying to an e-mail about a public appearance to see the name on the tag of the person who will be sitting directly across from you.

Dieter Bravo.

******

Wincing behind his sunglasses, Dieter stumbles towards the conference room that has been designated for the table read. Unable to fathom why they insist on doing these damn things so fuckin' early. It's not like there's a scene that's going to be shot right after. Groaning, he reaches into his pocket to pull out the bottle where his aspirin, antacids and speed are all mixed together like a colorful little surprise every time he shakes some into his hand. "Goddamn." He huffs, popping a handful of them into his mouth, heedless of what they are and takes the already opened bottle of water that his long suffering assistant is holding out to him as she tries to hurry him along the sharply lit hallway. "Which one is this?" He asks, unsure of exactly what table read he is walking into. He barely pays attention to what his agent books for him anymore, just as long as he is working and there are the drugs he needs supplied, he is fine with whatever at this point.

"The working title is Ego Death." His assistant tells him, though she knows that isn't actually the question he's asking. 'It's the one filming partially in London and France." What he wants to know is where he's going. Where his partial vacation is going to be. This one, though, she doesn't mind so much. Working out of Pinewood Studios is actually one of her favorite places to be if they aren't filming at home in LA.

"Uh huh, uh huh." Dieter bobbles his head as he swallows the water and grimaces. He would prefer wine or a scotch to chase the pills but Desiree had demanded that he drink some water in the morning at least. To counteract all the non-water beverages he drinks later throughout the day. "Like France. The people seem to like me. I always get lucky in Paris."

“I know, Dee.” Of course, Desiree knows. She’s the one who has to fend off the angry one-night stands for a week or two afterward. Almost every single time. She sighs as they round the corner of the hallway. “Here we go. Conference Room C. The production assistant has me on call to come pick you up later, so I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Dieter shakes his arms and his head in an effort to clear his thoughts but all he does is make himself dizzy. Nearly tripping over the carpeted floor when he missteps and nearly goes crashing into the wall. "Fuck!" He yelps, waving her away immediately. "I'm good. Just..." He looks down at his crocks and huffs. "Fuckin' things are trying to kill me."

"Maybe next time you'll wear the tennis shoes I put out for you," his assistant suggests, knowing he never will. "Go on in, Dieter. You're actually on time."

"Why would I want to be on time?" He huffs, rolling his eyes and stopping short of the door so he can root around and look for the candy he had stuffed in his pockets. "Hey, can you get me some uh...some uh...shit?" He asks, forgetting the word for what he wants but he knows she will understand.

"Sweater pocket, not robe pocket." The little Italian hard candies that he likes are mandatory when he has anything to do that lasts more than an hour, like an edible fidget toy. Unfortunately, the fact that he's wearing a cardigan and a robe both with deep pockets means he loses track of things. "And being on time is respectful to your costars, Dee. And to the production staff. Which is why you are on time." She opens the conference room door pointedly. "I'll see you this afternoon."

He wants to grumble at her, point out that he is the star of this particular drama, but instead, he's turning towards the room full of people. Immediately cocking his head as he takes in the group behind the large, dark sunglasses. Smirking slightly at some and then his brows raise when he spots someone he never expected to see at a read through table with him.

You.

"You have to be fucking kidding me..." You look up when you hear the door open, expecting to see your final costar strolling in. Instead you're greeted with the vision of Dieter-fucking-Bravo being nearly shoved through the door by his assistant and your eyes dart down to the last remaining name tag. Dieter Bravo. It reads, and underneath it, his role. This is going to be an absolute fucking disaster.

You’re here. Quickly Dieter schools his expression into one of nonchalance and shuts down the urge to immediately ask why you are here. It’s pretty obvious when you are sitting across from the only empty seat. His seat. You’re his co-star. Dieter hisses under his breath and adopts a careless grin. “Hey everyone. Guess I made it. We can start.”

"Fantastic." The director is excited and nervous, trying his best to look and act in charge of this powerhouse cast that he's been lucky enough to assemble. This is his Oscar bait, right here in this room – the screenplay and the subject manner of the film are icing on the cake. "Welcome everyone. Good morning. The next few months are looking to be very exciting and we're going to get started quickly. This week is hair and makeup trials, costume fittings, and a few location details. Next week we'll be at Pinewood and we’ll finish with the location shoots in France. We're not wasting any time here."

"As long as there is time for playing, I'm good." Dieter jokes as he walks around to the swivel chair in front of a script book with his name on it. "Can't go to France and not play." He glances over at you, watching as you very pointedly look down at your script and inwardly scoffs at the very prim and fashionable outfit you are wearing. Everyone else is in casual clothes, but you are dressed to impress.

A reputation built on talent, hard work, and professionalism has made your name gold in this business, but Dieter never had to worry about any of that. The term nepo baby seems to have been invented just for him and that huge dynasty family of actors, directors, and producers that he's descended from. No wonder he has so little regard for everyone else's time. You shake your head to shake off the anger and flip open your script while the director talks on about plans for a speedy shooting schedule and getting ahead of the studio's timeline. It's the same stuff every director talks about in the beginning, and while you listen you jot down a few notes to yourself of questions you have and requests to pass on to your assistant. The most important being making sure that your hotel room is as far away from Dieter's as possible while you're on location.

Dieter pretends like he's not paying attention. He's good at that. A lifetime spent on stage and behind the scenes of sets leaves him with a sense of boredom when it comes to this kind of thing. Tapping his own pen on the script as he watches you scribble furiously like you are studying for a test.

"Alright, you all know how this works." When he's gotten through the speech that is meant to be inspiring and encouraging, your director sits down at the head of the long table and opens his own script. "Our first AD will read stage directions, you'll all read your roles, and we'll break for lunch before we touch base over questions and concerns." He is practically vibrating in his seat as he looks around. "Unless anyone has something they want to mention before we begin?"

"Yeah." Dieter twists lazily in his seat to look from the director towards you and he pulls his sunglasses down. "How did you come to work on this film?" He asks, smirking slightly as if he knows the answer. Conceited enough that he might just believe that you jumped at the chance to work with him again.

"I was asked." Sitting up straight in your seat, you reach for the travel mug full of coffee that you brought and instantly wish there was brandy in it as well. "I was told there was a timing issue with the previous leading lady, but now I'm wondering if she didn't pull out after finding out who she was going to have to put up with." Something you might consider doing, too, if you had found out before showing up here today. Now it would just give him too much satisfaction to feel like he won something, and you would never give him any satisfaction.

Snorting, Dieter grins as he looks around the room, not even caring that plenty of people are shuffling uncomfortably in their seats. "You mean the only one in this room with that little golden statue?" He asks, eyes finding yours again.

"And the only one who will shove it in everyone else's faces?" He would bring up your most recent snub in a room full of people just to be a dick. It was barely three weeks ago that you lost that Oscar and the wound is still fresh. Of course, it was freshest the next morning, when he had gloatingly sent a Better luck next time style note to your house. How the bastard had your address was beyond you.

"Nahhhh." Dieter shakes his head. "I keep that on display at home. I don't just carry it around." He chuckles quietly at his own comment and shrugs. "Sure that you'll get one, one day."

Your lips are pursed as you look down at your script after taking a sip of coffee, and you scrawl a note in the margins of your script to remind yourself that this would be an excellent picture to elevate yourself to executive producer on. If he's going to be petty, then you're going to be petty's boss.

Bored of bantering with you, Dieter drops his pen and grunts, reaching for his pocket to try to hunt down another one of those candies. Knowing that if he kept up, he would say something that he might actually feel bad about. Which was rare for him.

"Okay. Well." When your director clears his throat it's nervous instead of excited. "Let's get started, shall we?"

Unwrapping a candy, Dieter halfway listens as he opens the script and squints at the page. He needs goddamn glasses but he's too vain to get them and despite snorting powder and popping pills, the idea of sticking his fucking fingers in his eyeballs makes him squeamish.

It's a rocky start. You aren't vain enough to claim otherwise. And the looks on the faces of your castmates and the present members of the production team say so also. Dieter is tripping over his words despite not seeming to be overtly intoxicated and is causing the reading to take twice as long. By the time you get halfway through – to the scene containing a slap, a screaming match, and a smashed prop – you're feeling like this won't be acting at all. Starring in a movie opposite Dieter is going to be exactly as infuriating and maddening as you suspected it would be.

"Who wrote this shit?" Dieter scoffs, irritated with the way that the read is going. "It doesn't flow. It's gotta flow." He looks around for support from some of the other cast and then towards the director. "Not to act like an ass but who talks like this? We are supposed to be in the 1920's not the 1720's."

"Perhaps the problem isn't with the writing but with the reading." After the way he snarked at you in the beginning, you aren't about to let the director take Dieter's vitriol alone.

"Why don't we take a quick five?" He suggests, looking around to see relief on some of the actors' faces as they nod in agreement. "That's five, everyone. Grab a drink or a snack if you need it, bathrooms are down the hall."

Sneering at you, Dieter pushes away from the table and stomps off, needing to piss and to see why the hell the speed he had taken isn't working. Maybe he didn't manage to take any. "Fuck this."

"Hello?" Desiree wasn't expecting to see her boss's name pop up on the caller ID for another hour bare minimum, and she puts down the other half of her sandwich in resignation when she picks up the call. If Dieter is calling, something has upset him. "How's the reading going, Dee?" She asks with a pointedly cheerful tone in her voice.

"Get me the fuck out of this." Dieter growls, holding the phone away from his head. He hates the damn bluetooth built into every damn device. It fucks with his brain waves and he feels weird. "I don't give a shit how, I'm not doing this fucking piece of shit movie."

"You loved the script when you read it." His assistant frowns on the other end of the line. "You have a studio contract, Dee, and you already wriggled your way out of the thriller they wanted you to do. This is it. There's not a way out of this that doesn't involve you getting sued and losing a ton of work." She sighs softly, rolling through the possible things that could have upset him when she lands on the most likely. "Is there someone I need to push to have recast?"

Your name is on the tip of his tongue. Unease and unresolved issues with you curl and curdle in his gut and he opens his mouth to tell her exactly who he wants to have gone. But then he realizes if he does, you win. You would see it as a victory. "No." He grunts into the phone, sighing softly. "Fuck this."

"I'll see if I can arrange some extra goodies for you from the production staff." Desiree offers, knowing that getting him treats of any kind usually eases Dieter's grumpiness. "You contract riders were all agreed to, but there are always upgrades we can negotiate for. I'll see what I can manage. How does that sound?"

"I better get some KitKats too." Dieter huffs, pouting because he's going to have to deal with the sass and snark, the fucking attitude of filming with you. "Lots of them."

"I'll see what extra flavors I can get imported." As his go-to candy, the list of places to procure specialty KitKats and country-exclusive flavors is one Desiree can navigate with her eyes closed and half asleep.

"Okay." Dieter agrees after a long moment. "Hey, uh, can you schedule me an appointment for that surgery to fix your eyes?"

"I can..." Desiree pauses in thought. "I'll have to arrange it for during filming. We won't be able to get an appointment before you have to be on location."

"Do it." He grunts, rubbing his eyes. "Can barely see the fuckin' script."

"I'll pull what strings I have to." Any weakness Dieter actually admits to is worth noting, and she pushes her plate away to pull out her iPad. The agenda she keeps coordinates both of their schedules and even though he never actually checks it, it's invaluable to her. "You should get back to the reading, Dee. I'll take care of everything." After all – that is her job.

In the bathroom, Dieter leans in and stares at his reflection in the mirror. He blows out a sigh, able to see the wrinkles that are starting to crease his face, some of the gray that is starting to creep into the scruff on the side of his face. He's fucking 38 years old in two months. He's getting old. Maybe he'll get his ears pierced.

******

"Sam." As soon as Dieter is gone from the room, you slide out of your seat to go speak to the director. He's not too green in the business, but hasn't been around enough to be jaded yet, which gives you a little hope that he can be spoken to like a reasonable person. "Can I grab you for a second?"

"What's on your mind?" He asks, reaching for his bottle of water and twisting the cap off. Hoping that this tense atmosphere that has descended over the table read is just a one off. Maybe it would count as the trouble on set and the rest of the production would roll smoothly.

"First of all, I wanted to apologize." Humbling yourself isn't exactly a bad idea considering you were half the cause of the ruckus this morning, and you offer the director an appropriate frown. "Obviously that wasn't the first impression I had wanted to make on you, and it won't be repeated. I hope you can forgive and forget?"

"For what?" Sam shakes his head. "I knew that Dieter was going to cause waves. It's one of the reasons I wanted to work with him. He's unpredictable!"

“He certainly is that.” In a way that makes your chest clench on the verge of simply caving in. “I wondered if I could ask you something, Sam? Obviously I’m coming into this late and meeting people for the first time, but the script is wonderful.” Despite what some people say, you want to add, but keep your mouth shut since you just apologized for mouthing off. “I was wondering how your production team has fleshed out. And whether or not you might have room for one more?”

Sam tilts his head thoughtfully and seems to mull it over. "You know...I do." He hums, eyes lighting up. "I'll have to ask Dieter if he wants the billing. It'll go great with the studio."

“Not exactly what I had in mind when I asked.” It takes biting the inside of your lip to keep from saying something snarky or downright disrespectful. “Unpredictable is great for an artist. But not really what you want in someone controlling the purse strings, if you know what I mean.”

Sam rolls his eyes at himself and sighs. "Yeah. I can see where that would go wrong if Dieter decides to pull some kind of stunt." He agrees reluctantly before turning his gaze on you and studies you. "I'm assuming that you want the spot on the executive production team?"

“Otherwise what’s the point in asking?” You have a good reputation and an exemplary track record, so your desire to be Dieter’s boss aside – it’s actually not a bad deal for this young director. “I can get you some references if you’re on the fence, but I can assure you ahead of time that they’ll be glowing.”

Tapping the water bottle against his palm, Sam hums. "Yeah, send me an email and I will look it over tonight, okay?" He reaches out and pats your shoulder. "How do you feel about the role? Excited?"

“I really am, yeah.” In fact, the role had endless and exciting artistic appeal before you realized who you were playing opposite. “She’s an extremely intelligent and volatile woman, and I think the audience of people who will be able to relate to her is huge. You’ve got a great picture on your hands here.” As long as Dieter doesn’t fuck it up.

"I know you will be able to bring her to life." Sam offers, his own excitement for the film shining brightly as he starts to twitch. "We are going to make it happen. That Oscar that you should have won this year."

“That’s very nice of you.” Though you do wish people would stop mentioning it. The wound is still a little fresh. “I really think we have something special here. This summer will be a lot of hard work but really worth it.”

"Well, you go get a snack and some water, I'm going to go – uh, use the restroom and we will get the table read done." Sam nods towards you and steps around you to make a hurried rush towards the bathroom.

Satisfied that you saved a conversation that might have taken a very undesirable turn, you let yourself linger at the craft services table and make another cup of coffee to go with the pastry you don’t let yourself grab. You’ll be fine until you can get out of here and have something homemade. Fewer calories that way.

"They have anything with chocolate?" Dieter asks, stepping up beside you as he surveys the table. Slightly disappointed with the options today. If this shit keeps up, he will have to ask that another caterer is brought in. There's too much rabbit food here.

“No.” Tight lipped the second you realize he’s standing next to you, your shoulders tense but you exhale slowly to try not to show it. You know damn well he’s looking for candy and that there’s chocolate in some of the pastries, but you’re not going to tell him shit. “Looks like you’ll have to survive off something other than intoxicants for at least another couple of hours.”

"Well, shit." He grunts, scratching his belly and glancing over at you. "What's got your panties in a fucking twist?" He asks when you don't even look over at him.

“Don’t for one second think you had any effect whatsoever on my panties.” You bite out, focusing on not shaking with actual anger or frustration.

"Oh but I used to." Dieter chuckles and decides that he will blow up that bridge that he had been hanging on to. "So tell me..." he leans in and smirks at you. "How's the kid?" The sarcasm is lacing every word and he chuckles again.

“Go to hell, Bravo.” Without sparing him even a cursory glance, you turn on your heel and walk away. Just because you have to work with him does not mean you have to be sociable.

"So, good?" Dieter shouts after you, grinning at the way your back couldn't get any straighter if you had a board strapped to it. You don't even turn your head and after you walk out of sight, Dieter slumps slightly, the victory not as sweet as he had imagined it would be.

Without warning you’re twenty-one again and staring at the walls of your fifth-floor studio walk up the day after he left. Up and left without a word, not even to you. The pregnancy test in the trash and the telephone that never rings both taunt you, speaking volumes without ever saying a word. “Perfect.” You grit out, knowing very well that he knows you don’t have any children. Though he doesn’t know what happened at all.

******

"Hello, gorgeous." Dieter slides into the seat beside you and flashes you a charming grin, eyes lighting up when he sees the way your eyes flutter and your lip is pulled between your teeth. "I hear from a little birdie, you are going to be my co-star." He had seen your audition and actually told the producer of the play that you were his choice for the lead.

"H–hi." God, he's even more handsome in person, is the first thought in your head when you turn your head to see the former child star Dieter Bravo sidling up to you in the theater. You had gotten here early to try to set your mind straight before the first rehearsal but now it's already hazy from his smile. "Yeah, I–I'm playing Catherine." You're playing his wife – his wife – and it even includes an onstage kiss. It's enough to have your nerves on high alert, but you're so excited.

"Your audition was good, great even." Dieter praises, twisting in his seat and making sure you feel the full force of his smile up close. His mother always said his smile was what drew people in. At least when he was younger. Now that he's in his twenties, he's going through that slump that most child actors seem to endure, hoping like hell that he can spend a few years on stage before he gets his chance to show Hollywood what he can do as an adult. "I told Danny he was an idiot if he didn't cast you."

"You liked my audition?" Fresh out of acting academia, auditioning for Broadway of all things was a longshot, but here you are. Your very first Broadway audition turning into your very first Broadway show. With the world's most gorgeous stage husband, to boot. "I...that's so nice of you! I'm just– I'm so excited for this show. A–and to work with you. It's just...it's a dream come true."

"Yeah?" Dieter grins, already sensing the crush you have on him and liking the way your shy and eager smile makes him feel. "Well, we have to make sure that we make all of your dreams come true, Bambi."

"Bambi?" You knew you looked flustered, but do you really look so ridiculous that he's calling you a deer in the headlights? The idea is completely horrifying and you bite your lip again, unintentionally making yourself look all the more innocent and sweet.

"Fuck." Dieter groans, imagining that innocent look on your face as you look up at him from your knees with his cock in your mouth. "Sweet, innocent little doe eyes." He explains, reaching out and brushing a piece of pastry off your cheek from where you had already raided the coffee cart.

"Oh." At least it's nothing bad - nothing you need to be mortified over. Though your cheeks might completely catch fire if he touches you unprompted again. You weren't expecting it and you feel like you're going to spontaneously combust. "I–um...that's very sweet. But are you okay?" Concern shines through, knitting your eyebrows together temporarily. "You swore and it sounded like...pain? Maybe?"

Are you a virgin? Dieter's eyes sparkle and he shakes his head as he grins. "No, nothing I can't handle, though I might ask you for some assistance later on." He flirts.

"Oh, of course!" Nodding before you could possibly hesitate, you're leaning toward him in your seat like there's some kind of magnet drawing you in. "Did you want to run lines after rehearsal or something?"

Chuckling, Dieter nods. "Something like that." He confides, leaning in. "Think we need to run some chemistry tests." He suggests. "You know, so we don't fumble on stage."

"Oh, of course." Chemistry tests were something you had heard about from your friends who had already gone out to LA to audition for movies, but they were rare in theater as far as you knew. Or at least they never got called that. Working with a movie star was going to be so different, you could tell already. "That–that sounds like a perfect idea. The last thing we want is to hold up rehearsals being awkward on stage, right?"

"Sooooooo." God, you are innocent and Dieter's cock twitching in his pants at how quickly you agree to his idea. "I say we do our read through, and we go get dinner." He offers. "You know…talk."

"Right." Your head bobs in total agreement, pulse quickening at the idea of it. Just because you've nursed a little crush on him for about forever does not mean anything else. This is work. Your career. You're just incredibly goddamn lucky that you get to do it – the play – with him. "Yeah, absolutely. Get a...a foundation for knowing each other, right?"

"Right." Dieter grins and bites his lip. "It doesn't hurt that I think you're very beautiful." He admits with a small wink. You are pretty, you are fresh faced but he hadn't been lying. You did have incredible potential for someone right out of your acting class.

If you spontaneously combust on that spot, it will be from that wink and that wink alone. You can barely squeak out a "thank you" without feeling like your entire face is on fire.

"Awww, don't be shy." He coos, even though he loves it and wants you to keep being shy for him. This narrow window before you get comfortable with him is very finite and he wants to enjoy it. "You and I are going to get real close."

"It's such an amazing opportunity." Maybe for him things like this are old hat, but for you? This is a literal dream come true. It flies in the face of every time your parents told you acting could never be a realistic career choice, or every teacher who had told you that you weren't enough somehow. This is the big time.

Grinning, he leans back in his seat and picks up the drink that he had managed to snag before turning his attention to you. Only taking his eyes off you when the producer comes into the room. Casually sliding his arm around you and shuffling closer as the producer starts to speak. "Here we go." He grins, knowing that this will change both of your lives.

******

The hotel they have the cast and crew booked into is right in the heart of London, tidy modern rooms with all the amenities and specifically suited to dealing with large groups of long-term guests. The kitchen does room service 24-hours a day and there is a coffee machine in your room, along with a kettle and a microwave so you can do a few things yourself. It's a suite even if it's on the small side, and you don't mind that. This is work, after all. Not a vacation. If you want to have fun during your free time you can always go out. The view, at least, is fantastic. Sitting out on your balcony to enjoy the view, you're putting off unpacking just a little bit – until the French doors of the balcony next to you open. Why is Dieter in the room right next to you?

Groaning, Dieter opens the door and stretches, making sure that he scratches his stomach as he takes in the view. "Ohhhh shit, I love London." he shouts out, grinning when a few people down on the street below look up at him.

"So much for using my balcony," you grouse, immediately shoving out of the chair and going back inside. You'll have to restrict your usage to when Dieter is passed out or on set without you.

“Oh seriously?” The movement catches his eye and Dieter turns to see you getting up and puffing up like an angry ostrich as you stomp towards your slider door. “You can’t stand to be around me?” He demands, oddly hurt by the idea. “There was a time you loved being in my presence.”

Pausing halfway through the door, you look back at him with an expression that can only be described as undisguised hurt. You had been aiming for disgust and fallen slightly short despite your best effort. "Unbelievably enough, I grew out of it."

“What would you have had me do?” Dieter asks, flapping his hands in the air. “Stay?” He had the opportunity of a lifetime. The break that made him Dieter Bravo, actor and not just Dieter Bravo, child actor. He couldn’t have risked it. Wouldn’t risk it to be trapped by an obvious scam.

Tamping down the urge to just straight out scream at him, you cross your arms over the chest and force yourself to sigh out the angry breath you took. "You could have at least said goodbye."

Dieter frowns at you, unwilling to admit that he had fumbled that. Been unable to say goodbye in his panicked state. He barely remembers packing or getting on the fucking plane. Didn’t help he was blazed out of his fucking mind. “I said I had to go.”

"You told the production team. Not me." You correct him, biting out every word like the English language itself personally offended you. "You didn't say goodbye. You didn't return a single fucking phone call, text message, or e-mail. Nothing. What if I had been pregnant?" Feeling your voice rise, you squeeze your eyes shut and shudder on another deep exhale. "You abandoned me flat and made me the butt of jokes in interviews for years. How am I supposed to forgive that?"

“Forgive me?” Dieter looks personally offended by the question. “Don’t give me some sob story, you tried to baby trap me!” He huffs at you. “Who peed on the stick for you? Mandy? That girl was always pregnant. Sold the pee sticks for $30 bucks a pop to rope whatever poor bastard was on the fence with some girl.”

"I was terrified." The anger is right back on the surface in an instant, and you hate yourself for how close to tears you are. "I was so fucking–" In love with him, that's the real end of that sentence, but you veer off course rather than ever admit that to him. "Scared that I did two whole boxes of tests and went to a doctor the day after you straight out abandoned me. It was a false positive, you son of a bitch. Six of them, to be exact. It took an actual doctor's office to tell me I wasn't carrying a bastard's baby."

The rate at which Dieter deflates would almost be comical, robe tie dragging on the ground when his entire body just seems to slump. He’s held onto the idea you were trying to trap him for years, reminding him of why he was right to leave you without another word. His father’s words ringing in his ears. “Oh.”

"Oh." Your huff of disgust could rattle windows. "Is that all you have to say?"

Dieter frowns, not capable of processing the complex emotions that are trying to creep through his mind. Long repressed feelings threatening to bubble to the surface. He bites his lip and looks up at where you are staring at him. Still fuckin pretty but no longer the innocent 21-year-old you were when he met you. “Do you want—” he licks his lips and swallows, “–to have sex with me?” He asks, lifting his brows.

"Oh, Jesus fucking Christ." It doesn't even deserve an answer and you don't give him one, just turn to walk into your room, slamming the glass door behind you so it rattles so hard it threatens to shatter.

“Fuck.” Dieter hisses quietly, staring at your door for another moment before he decides that he is way too sober to deal with this new information. His emergency stash needs to be broken into and he has a feeling he will eat three KitKats for dinner.

This whole fucking production is going to be agony, you can feel it right in the front of your skull where your migraine is forming as you dry sob on the sofa in the front room of your suite. There's no way you can face anybody tonight – not with the way you're feeling now. It's going to be room service and an early night with aromatherapy, you can feel it.

******

He’s a hell of a lot more alert than he should be, all things considered. Taking several downers last night so he could get the image of your hurt face out of his mind. Grunting as he nurses his coffee and sits in the makeup chair for his call time.

There are twice as many shots of espresso in your travel mug this morning as there should be, but you had overheard some of the production team giggling about how handsome Dieter is as soon as you opened the door to your suite and it had caused you to turn right around and brew yourself a double dose to summon the strength to face the day. Your own assistant – bless her – is walking by your side trying to tell you about the shooting schedule for the day, but you feel like you're walking through fog. "Sadie, I'm sorry," you put one hand on her arm in the elevator and offer her an apologetic expression. "Will you give me that again? I'm not myself this morning."

“Are you alright?” Concern laces her expression as she looks up from her phone. You have been a dream to work for and she cares about you. Not because of her job, but because you don’t treat her like an accessory. “You’ve seemed…off since the table read.”

“I have absolutely been off since the table read.” You can admit that to her with ease. “I’ll be okay.” It’s a small reassurance, as you rub your eyes and lean against the elevator wall. “Just…what scenes are we shooting today?”

“The big argument.” Sadie explains, wincing slightly. It’s always tense when the high emotion scenes are filmed. “They felt like it would be good considering the…tension during the table read.”

“Ah.” You nod, knowing you’ll have no trouble getting mad at Dieter at any point. They always say that drawing from personal experience is the way to portray genuine emotion — well, that will be extremely easy. “I can’t say I blame them. It makes sense to get something that big when you’ve seen the tension first hand.”

“And hopefully that will get it out of the way.” She doesn’t know why there is tension between you and Dieter, but there are already rumors swirling between the production team.

“I sincerely doubt it.” You take a sip of your coffee and look at your assistant, knowing that she has as quick and shrewd a mind as anyone you’ve ever met. She’s more than your assistant – Sadie is your right arm. She’s your friend. “You have that face.” The elevator hits the bottom floor and opens, letting the two of you out. “There’s already talk, isn’t there?”

“Some.” She admits, biting her lip. “More…speculation than anything right now. But I’m sure that someone curious will find something.” If there’s something to be found is silently hanging after her comment.

You swallow a sigh and nod, heading through the lobby with her to the hotel’s parking structure where your rental car waits. “Why don’t you drive us to set, and I’ll tell you what happened? Better you should hear it from me than some gossipy PA.”

“It’s none of my business.” Of course, she desperately wants to know, but she also knows that being vulnerable is probably the thing you hate most with others. She gets the sense you’ve been hurt badly before.

“You’ve been my assistant – and my friend – for six years, you deserve the dignity of the truth.” This is the woman who has taken care of you, shielded you, catered to you, and protected you every single day without argument or complaint. She hears every rumor and knows which ones to squash versus which ones can be stoked. She fields requests from professionals in every area of life. She’s even fended off your father when he came looking for money on multiple occasions. The truth is the least you can do. “Most people in the movie industry don’t pay attention to theater,” you begin when you climb into the little Citroen that has been supplied for you by the production company. “But that’s where I started. After NYU, I got incredibly lucky and I went right to Broadway. The—” It brings back enough memories, vivid ones, that you have to clear your throat to go on. “The male lead was from a dynasty family. He saw my audition and had me cast. And then…promptly talked his way into my bed. I was just a kid and I really didn’t know any better. But he…he always knew exactly the right words. Exactly the right touch. You would feel like you were the only person in the whole world when he gave you his attention.”

Shit. Sadie’s face falls and she sighs softly. She was a huge fan of Dieter Bravo’s when he hit Hollywood as an adult. Enough to know that it sounds exactly like him. She hadn’t put the timeline together until it was laid out for her. “And it ended badly?” The fallout from a failed romance would definitely cause acrimony. Look at Lena Heady and Jerome Flynn.

“That’s a very polite way of saying it.” You look out the window and sigh at the rainy London streets moving by. “It started that first night and kept going the whole time. Until one day before call I…I told him that I thought I was pregnant and he took off without a word. That night his understudy went on and that was it.”

“Holy shit! Are you serious?” Furious on your behalf, Sadie huffs and shakes her head. “Asshole! I hope you enjoy slapping the shit out of him today.”

“Oh, I will.” There are probably few things you will ever enjoy as much in your life. “He had the nerve to say that I tried to baby trap him.” The accusation is still ringing in your ears from last night, and you’re only glad it’s not obvious how much you cried. It’s humiliating to admit that your days of crying over that asshole aren’t over. “I was twenty-one. Having a baby would have ended my career before it could begin.”

“Jesus.” Sadie snorts, shaking her head. “I know that there was a rash of that around that time, but that’s just…cruel.”

“So you can understand why I have been a little more tense lately.” You shake your head and fold your hands in your lap, trying to refocus your energy and not wallow. “I’m sorry if I’ve unintentionally said or done something to upset you while I’ve been distracted.”

“Not at all.” You were probably the best boss she could have ever asked for and in turn, she is highly protective of you. Anyone who wanted to paint you in a negative light would have to hear from her. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

“That’s very kind of you.” Of course it is. Sadie is an inherently kind person who takes absolutely no shit. It’s one of the things you loved about her right from the day you interviewed her. “I don’t know anything about his assistant, but it might be worth making friends early, if you can. He’s exactly petty enough to try to cause problems and he might use them for that.”

She smirks and looks over at you as if you are behind the curve. “We had drinks last night.” She informs you. “So I’m already on that.”

“Oh yeah?” If Sadie ever outgrows you as a client you’ll be damned upset about it. She really is the best. “What kind of poor suffering idiot does he have working for him?”

“His agent suffers no fools and knows exactly who her client is.” Sadie chuckles. “His assistant is very sexy, very gay and would probably do well working as a dominatrix if being Dieter’s assistant didn’t pan out.”

“Gay, huh?” That makes you huff a laugh under your breath, assuming it wasn’t done by accident. A lesbian would never have any interest sleeping with Dieter - making it the smartest possible choice. “Sexy in general or sexy your type?”

“Sexy as in definitely my type.” Sadie confirms with a grin. “She’s got Dieter down, so apparently a lot of his bullshit is just bluster. She says he’s a needy, surprisingly emotional, manchild.” She snorts. “Who talks about Bambi in his sleep.”

“What did you just say?” It’s a good thing that she was pulling up to a stoplight anyway, because Sadie slams on the brakes of the car in surprise and jolts both of you forward. “Did you just say Bambi?”

“What? Something wrong?” Your reaction is far stronger than amusement about a Disney movie. “She just said he cries about Bambi in his sleep, then refuses to talk about it and makes sure to get really blazed right after.” She huffs. “Maybe he dreams about his mother getting shot by a hunter.”

“I—um—” all of a sudden your throat has run dry and your head feels like it’s spinning. “He cries?” You ask, almost afraid to have it confirmed.

“That’s what she said.” The light turns green and she cautiously starts driving again. “Why? Does Bambi mean anything?”

"It–" Your voice wavers with uncertainty, making you pull in on yourself in a way you haven't done for years before this week. "I don't think I have to remind you that there are things you know about me that no one else in the world does."

“Of course.” This will be filed under Tell No One, apparently. A standard NDA is in place, but this is personal. “Not a word to anyone.”

"That's..." After not breathing a word of it to anybody for years, it feels disorienting to talk about. "That's what he called me...Bambi."

“Shit.” Sadie’s eyes widen and her head whips around to stare at you in shock. “You don’t think— no.” She shakes her head. “You think that he’s dreaming about you?” She asks quietly.

"I don't think anything." You murmur, slumping slightly in your seat as she pulls back into traffic to head to the studio. "But if his assistant brings it up again, will you try to remember what she says?"

“I’m planning on having dinner with her tonight.” She reveals and nods. “I’ll try to bring it up casually and tell you what she says.”

"Don't ruin your date with my bad decisions." If Sadie has actually found someone to spend time with despite her crazy schedule - which is your fault - and who understands how demanding her job is - also your fault - then you don't want to sully it with your own concerns.

“Are you kidding?” She laughs. “Talking about her boss’s antics is something she relishes.” She snorts playfully. “Especially since I’m an assistant too.”

"Have fun and don't break any NDAs," you huff a small laugh, glancing at her as she drives. "I'll look forward to some room service and Netflix tonight. You deserve to have fun."

“Why don’t you go out?” She suggests. “We are in London. Go to some pubs. See some sights.” It’s not a wild suggestion, but she doesn’t want you to feel trapped in your room.

"I guess I could." It would save you from being in the room right next door to Dieter for whatever naïve production assistant he talks into sleeping with him. You turn to watch Sadie again before batting your eyelashes at her hopefully. "Could I ask you to load some money onto an Oyster card for me today and tuck it into my wallet so I can go out after filming if I'm up to it?" It will save you from having to hang out at one of the machines, and moving quickly means you're more likely to blend in and not be recognized, although it is an extra stop for her to have to make today.

“Done.” Sadie will take care of that just as soon as she gets you into hair and makeup. Knowing that you will feel better when you go out and see some things that will interest you. Get away from Dieter. “I will even come up with a map to show where to go for some things you will like.”

"You're an angel." She really does take such impressively good care of you, it's unbelievable. "Put your dinner tonight on my credit card, okay? Take her someplace over the top, even if you have to use my name to get the reservation."

“Thanks.” She pulls into the parking lot where trailers and tents have been set up. The production team has been working around the clock to get everything ready and she sighs. “Well, now you just have to survive the first day.”

"Think happy thoughts for me." With a sigh of your own, you haul yourself out of the car and double check that you have everything before waving goodbye and heading for your trailer.

******

Dieter has his eyes closed, murmuring his lines to himself as Monique, a goddess of a makeup artist, finishes his look for the scene. Peaceful now that he’s had his coffee, he leans back in the chair with a small sigh.

You had desperately been hoping that he would already be done in the hair and makeup trailer before you went in, but when you open the door he's right there with his eyes closed and that stupid slappable smirk on his face and you bite back a sigh. "Good morning." Focusing on the fact that the production was amenable to bringing your own makeup artist along for the production, you give Rivkah a hug. "Ready to do this?"

"Absolutely." Rivkah gives you a brilliant smile and smirks over at where Dieter is sitting. "It won't be hard this time, huh?" She teases quietly as she starts to pull your hair back and pin it so that not a single strand will get in her way.

"Today might not be." You'll flip through your pages one more time while you're in the chair, but this fight scene is going to be a doozy. Thrown furniture, punching holes in walls, and throwing each other around a little in addition to the slap means that this scene will be the only thing you film today and that you'll have a stunt coordinator on sight, but it will be worth it to get some of this tension out.

"Ohhhhh don't lie." Dieter cracks one eye open and points it towards you. "You know you're looking forward to it."

"Slapping you?" You clarify dryly without even looking over at him. "I'm practically giddy about it."

"Mhmmm." Dieter hums knowingly and closes his eyes again. "Have to make sure I don't get too excited." He jokes, knowing that he doesn't actually like to be slapped around. He doesn't even like it when he stubs his toe. Pain isn't his idea of a good time. "Might need some breaks."

"I promise not to make Monique's job any harder than it already is." It only adds insult to injury that Dieter grew from a handsome and charismatic young man into an even more attractive and charming adult, but you know that the version of himself he presents to the camera is only one dimension of the man. He had been comfortable enough with you back then to let you see more than just that side of him, which had been one of the things that convinced you then that you truly had feelings for him. Now, it just means that you can bruise his ego a little with only a few words.

Dieter huffs, frowning slightly and then remembering the wrinkles in the mirror, immediately tries to relax his face. Hurt by the implication that he was hard to make look good, especially when you used to coo over him and tell him how fucking sexy he was. "Least your tits aren't saggy." He shoots back. "Get 'em done?"

"On what planet would I answer that?" There's no keeping the annoyance out of your voice, but at least you don't huff at him. "You'll never find out either way." But you do make a mental note to talk to the intimacy coordinator about modesty garments. Hopefully the director won't want to show too much skin.

He snorts, nearly about to remind you that he has seen everything, but he doesn't. Despite his reputation as a dick sometimes, he would prefer to keep that memory private. "Your loss, toots." He dismisses you, settling back into his chair and smirks up at Monique. "She thinks I'm pretty, don't you?"

"Of course, Dee." Monique smiles, coaxing Dieter's chin back into a straight line so she can finish his hair. She's worked in films and television for a decade and with Dieter for almost all of those years. She knows better than to express an actual opinion. Although, in this case, Dieter is handsome.

"See?" Almost as if it was validation, Dieter settles back with a smug smile on his face. "God I love your fingers in my hair." He moans softly. "I could sleep like this. Could I pay you to do that? Play with my hair while I sleep?"

"Not my line of work, unfortunately." It does make Monique laugh, though. A small chuckle from the middle of her chest. "Might make a bit more money if it was, though."

It's all you can do not to react, and you bite the inside of your lip hard while Rivkah starts brushing your hair. The sound of Dieter moaning shouldn't produce such a visceral reaction twelve years later, but apparently it does. That is embarrassing.

"Yeah you would." Dieter sighs out, stretching his legs and flexing them slightly. "God, I hate that trainer." He complains, massaging his thigh gently and hissing at the soreness. "You would think I would sleep better but noooo."

"Calprofen?" Monique gestures to the little kit under her work station that you have to assume is a first-aid kit. Everybody in this room knows he routinely takes things that are much stronger, but not one of you is going to provide it for him.

"Nahhhh." Dieter reaches into his pocket and pulls out an unassuming bottle of aspirin. "I've got some fuckin' Aleve here." Unlike his normal pill bottle, this one is simply the pain reliever. He makes it a point to not pop anything while he is on set. It's unprofessional in his opinion.

When you snort derisively in your chair beside him, it's a knee jerk reaction and not a calculated insult. There's no way what's in that bottle is just naproxen. Not with what you've heard about his pill popping or the obvious smell of pot that emanated from his hotel suite all last night.

Pausing, Dieter stares in the mirror at you for a second, glowering before he pops the Aleve in his mouth and grunts at the uncoated pill. He knows that the other illicit pills he takes aren't coated, but they make him feel a hell of a lot better than Aleve does.

"So, Riv." You shift your attention in the mirror to chat with the woman who has been doing your hair and makeup for almost everything for the last five years. "Planning to do or see anything fun while we're shooting? You always like London."

It's oddly insulting that you ignore him, making him sit back in his chair and cross his arms over his chest. Almost done with hair and makeup so he can go to costuming. Silently listening to you and your artist talk while he pouts.

It’s not that you don’t notice. You notice every second of it. The childish pout of a grown ass man who isn’t getting the attention he wants, so you keep denying him on purpose. Except it doesn’t feel nearly as good as it should, because there is an echo of Sadie’s voice in your head as she tells you that he cries for Bambi in his sleep and dopes himself to forget it. And now it’s guilt crawling in your belly instead of ugly satisfaction.

The second that Monique pats his shoulder, the signal for him being done, Dieter shoots out of his chair. Spinning around and reaching for her to kiss her cheek. "You are a goddess." He praises softly, giving her a wink. "One day, one day you'll give in." He teases playfully. He asked her to sleep with him years ago when they first met and she turned him down. He will joke about it, but he's not pushing for it. "Thank you, love."

“Go on and get dressed,” she shoos him out with affection, years of working together giving her an affection for the man that has grown into respect. When he leaves, though, she sits down in his recently emptied chair for a second before scurrying to clean up.

Why do you have to be working on this movie? Dieter curses his luck as he walks through the sea of trailers that have been set up, hands shoved in his pockets so he doesn't rub his face. He's gone twelve fucking years without having to deal with you face to face unless you count that one afterparty that he had spotted you across the room. Unsure of why he feels so goddamn guilty about the way your eyes had glazed up last night, as if you were telling the truth. You weren't. You are an actor. A fucking phenomenal one at that. You lie for a living and you had been lying about that. There had never been a baby. He reminds himself of that and shakes his head, eager to get today's filming in the can so he can go back to his room and get blitzed.

******

“Come in!” The knock on your dressing room door isn’t unusual, especially since you like to get to the theater early to go over your script and meditate before doing your hair and makeup and getting into costume. You’ve just turned the kettle off and poured an enormous cup – okay, bowl – of tea when the sound comes loudly and clearly from behind you.

"Heyyyyy." Dieter pokes his head into your dressing room and grins at you. "You busy?" He asks, raising his eyebrows and pushing inside the room because he knows you aren't. You always invite him in.

“Not too busy for you.” You immediately put down your brush and turn around to face the door when he comes into the room. Sure you saw him just this morning, but you have a day job that you go to in between waking up in his bed and coming to the theater each night.

"Mmmmm." Walking over towards you, Dieter leans in and drops a lingering kiss on your lips. "How was work?" He asks, knowing that you hate your serving job, but it helps pay the bills. He was lucky enough that the residuals from his work as a child paid for his apartment.

“Awful.” A little pout earns you another kiss, and you immediately move over to sit on the little loveseat in the corner with him. “Some lady accidentally spilled her screaming hot coffee all over me after giving me a bunch of attitude and then she laughed to her friends about it and didn’t tip a single cent.”

“Bitch.” Dieter huffs, annoyed with the woman on your behalf and shakes his head. “Hopefully you spit in her food.”

“Dee.” There’s a stray curl on his forehead and you smooth it away as you shake your head. “You know I would never do that.”

“I know.” He closes his eyes and leans in, pressing his forehead against yours. “You’re so good.” He huffs, as if it’s wrong that you are. You’re definitely better than he is but he also likes that about you.

“Only sometimes.” The tone in your voice is fully suggestive, as silky and sexy as you can manage without ruining it with a giggle. He likes that you’re a good girl, it turns corrupting you into a game.

“Other times you are very dirty.” Dieter growls, ducking his head down and nipping at your throat playfully. “My dirty Bambi.”

It earns him a reflexive little moan from you, mostly because he knows how sensitive your whole neck and shoulder area is, and you climb into his lap on the loveseat without a single moment’s hesitation. “Just for you,” you promise him, as if there ever could be anybody else.

Dieter chuckles and squeezes your ass, pulling you towards him. “God, you look so cute in this damn outfit.” He groans, knowing there is nothing especially sexy about the sweats and a tank top, but he is hard against your core.

“Dieter…” You’re a goner as soon as you feel that hardness underneath you and he knows that as well as you do. “Did you lock the door?”

“No.” Dieter huffs, kissing along your throat and pulling at your tank top, grinning when he can get his hand under it as soon as he wants. “Fuck no bra.” He breathes, happy when his hand encompasses bare tit.

“You have to let me lock it, baby.” It will mean climbing off of him for a minute, but the last thing you want is to be walked in on by your stage manager. Of course – it’s hard to focus on that propriety when he pinches your nipple just hard enough to make you squeal.

“Who cares if someone sees?” Dieter pouts when you pull away, but uses it as an opportunity to strip down. Pulling his shirt over his head before he unbuttons his jeans to push them down.

“I care.” It takes all of four steps to cross your dressing room, but when you turn back around after bolting the door, he’s already naked. “Fuck, Dee, you’re so sexy.” The expression of near-awe on your face is one he basks in. You know you’re the luckiest girl in the world that he would ever even look at you twice, those deep pangs of puppy love tell you so.

Dieter swears you are better than the best fucking drug he’s ever taken. Your near worship of him a high that he can’t replace. “Come over here.” He begs, wrapping his hand around his cock. “Do you want to have sex with me, Bambi?”

“I always want to have sex with you.” That’s been a constant truth for the last two months, and you’re not about to disguise it for a single second. Any day now he could snap out of it and realize that he deserves a hell of a lot better than you – and you’re not about to let that happen, so you snatch a condom out of your purse and drop your sweatpants to the floor on your way back over to him.

“Fuck baby.” Dieter groans as he watches you walk towards him, ripping open the foil packet with your teeth. “You are so sexy.” He praises. “So goddamn lucky.”

“Yes, I am very lucky.” Leaning back over him, you lean down to flick your tongue across the head of his cock, humming at the musky taste of precum before applying the rubber so you can climb back into his lap. “So fucking lucky you want me.”

“Not– not what I meant.” He groans, gripping your hips and pulling you closer. “Fuck, lemme have a taste.” He begs, right before he plunges his tongue into your mouth.

It’s messy and enthusiastic, like most encounters with Dieter are, and you pour a moan into his mouth while you reach between you to line the head of his cock up to your entrance, letting you sink down on him slowly. This is bliss – with this slightly weird boy and his eccentricities – but you still haven’t said out loud how you really feel about him.

Dieter’s breath bitches as you take him, closing his eyes in the sublime ecstasy of your cunt. “Shit.” He hisses, fingers digging into your skin before he slides them up to grope your tits. “Like velvet.” He groans. “Hot fucking velvet.”

“Biggest fucking dick on the planet.” It doesn’t feel like an exaggeration when it’s filling up every molecule of space in your pussy, but you have no idea if it’s true or not. Dieter knows that he’s the only person you’ve ever been with, but you’ve never said that you hope he’s the only one you ever will.

“Have you seen every dick on the planet?” Dieter still twitches and preens at your praise, rocking his hips up and pinching your nipples again.

“N—no—” Bouncing on his length takes your breath away and you love it, clinging to his shoulders desperately to hang on. “But you fill me up so full baby. It has to be.”

This was supposed to be something simple. A week, maybe a month. Something to fill his time and spark his interest…except, you have this…hold on him. The sex is spectacular and the conversations are surprisingly developed for the after coitus banter. He hasn’t moved on, instead deciding to gorge himself on you while this lasts. Trying to ignore that voice in his head that wishes it would never end. Telling him that it doesn’t have to.

These little stolen couplings in your dressing room never last long. They’re always a chase to a quick finish that has his face buried in your tits and your fingers in his hair and somebody’s hand eventually circling your clit while you ride him like a prized fucking stallion. Everything about it is perfect right down to the throaty moans that absorb into your skin and the way his cock jerks and pulses in your pussy until you both threaten to implode right there in the love seat. It’s perfect. He is perfect. And it takes everything you have to cradle his head in your hands and kiss him instead of saying it.

Dieter pants, grinning against your lips as the two of you try to catch your breaths. Happy that this has become almost automatic. He knows you well enough to touch you exactly how you need to in order to cum before he does. Most of the time. The times that he doesn't, he'll go down on you to finish you off. "You staying over tonight?" He asks, reluctant to pull away just yet. "Gonna go out with everyone tonight to have a few drinks."

“Absolutely.” His arms are tight around you and you wrap around his shoulders as you enjoy the aftershocks still making your pussy flutter every now and then. Just because these encounters are fast doesn’t mean they’re lacking in any way. “I—I may have brought some clean clothes from home…” you admit quietly, panting a little between kisses. “In case you asked.”

"Good." Dieter smirks and kisses your pulse. "But I do like when you wear my clothes too." You've had to borrow some sweats and things before, use his toothbrush. Which he usually doesn't like, but it's pretty cool with you.

“I can always accidentally forget them here and wear your clothes tomorrow.” It’s sexy that he gets a little territorial, and you’re never ever going to discourage it. “Might forget my panties, too.”

"No panties?" Dieter groans and his softening cock twitches inside you. "It's not my birthday yet." He grins and leans in to kiss you again. "Although, I'm never going to mind that."

“A dress and no panties is your favorite and we both know it.” Reluctantly climbing off of him so that he can tie off the condom, you snag another kiss from him and take your dressing robe off the hook by the door to wrap yourself up in.

“Easy access.” Dieter grins with a waggle of his brows. “You didn’t seem to mind it when I bent you over last week when we were reading lines.”

“I don’t mind it at all.” Not for one single second, and you sit back down with him again to prove it. “And I think the fact that I remembered my lines while you were fucking the life out of me should be able to go on my resume.”

“You did squeal your monologue.” He teases, shuffling his pants back up and leans back against the couch to offer you a spot to snuggle against you. “Think you should deliver it just like that.”

“Only for you.” The coo in your voice is just for him, too, but you don’t mind that. He’s reached a part of you that is just indescribable and you never want it to end. “That’s a Bambi Special.”

“Hmmmm.” Dieter grins and wraps his arm around you and turns to kiss your forehead. “Now, where do you want to block from today?” He asks seriously. “I think scene two needs a little work, don’t you?”

“That was my fault.” You’d fumbled last night and you know it, making you frown down at your hands – knowing that he deserves a better lover and a better scene partner than you are is humbling. Thankfully the recovery was quick, and there hadn’t been any critics in the house. “I’ll nail it tonight, I promise.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Dieter senses the way that you curl in on yourself. You’re a lot tougher on yourself than you need to be. “Just look me in my eyes.” He tells you, reaching out to cup your cheek. “Okay? When you stumble, look at me. I’ve got you.”

“I—okay.” You nod against his hand and swallow another apology, not wanting him to doubt you. To doubt that he can consider you an equal, even if his talent is more effortless. The problem is, staring into his eyes for one second too long, you just can’t keep your goddamn mouth shut and the woods come dripping out of it: “I love you.”

Dieter’s heart nearly stops, blood roaring in his veins and he feels almost lightheaded when he hears you say those three little words. “I love you too.” The words slip from his lips easily, almost too easily because he knows that’s what you want to hear. Even if that voice inside him tells him that it’s true, he offers you a silken smile and tugs you to him. “I love you too, Bambi.”

With a happy squeal, you practically launch yourself at him, throwing your arms around his neck and smothering him in endless kisses. That was not at all the reply you expected, but you’re thrilled to not have ruined things. You’ll make this good for him as much as you possibly can for as long as you possibly can. “You’re amazing, Dee. I’m so lucky you love me.”

“I’m the lucky one, Bambi.” Dieter promises between kisses. “Never doubt that.”

******

“You disgusting, two-timing piece of shit!” Under hot camera lights in an itchy costume with almost more Bobby pins than hair on your head, you know your eye make up is running but it works for the scene. The tears are genuine, streaking down your face as you – as your character – advances on Dieter across the tight set with fury in your face. “When you’d used me up, the bottle took my place, and at the bottom of that you found every other woman in Paris.” You’re seething, pouring every ounce of betrayal you actually feel into this moment, and when you raise your hand you know somewhere in your body that this slap will be very real. “How many other women have you abandoned for the sin of boring you, you bastard?!”

Crack.

The sound of skin on skin isn’t tantalizing at this moment, or enticing. It’s ugly, and violent, and leaves a welt on Dieter’s cheek as you crumpled in a sobbing heap like the script instructs. For a solid minute, the only sounds are your very real tears and Dieter’s sharp breathing as he deals with the pain of being hit until—

“Cut!” The director screams out across the set. “Print! One take, ladies and gentlemen!”

“OWWWWWWW.” Dieter wails, the look of fury instantly melting away into one of pain as he claps his hand over his cheek. “You were supposed to pull the slap.” He complains pitifully, his look wounded as he stares at you, “that really fuckin’ hurt!”

“Tell me you didn’t deserve it.” Your tears stop instantly, a professional even through real emotion, and you get back to your feet with dignity, still hissing at him. “Tell me you didn’t deserve it twelve fucking years later.”

He can’t say that he doesn’t deserve it, but he frowns at you. Glowering at the heat of the slap radiating as he his face throbs. “I need some ice!” He shouts to his assistant as he turns and stomps off.

Sadie appears at your side a second later with a bottle of water and a pack of tissues, and you thank her quietly before taking both to walk a few steps to your chair just behind the cameras. A perk of having an executive director credit is proximity. Access. It doesn’t matter that that didn’t feel nearly as good as you thought it would. That a loud part of you actually wants to see if he’s okay and apologize for it. It’s done now. He left, you slapped him for it. It’s done.

“Ow, ow, ow, it really hurts.” Dieter huffs as he takes the bag of ice wrapped in a towel to press his forehead. “Did she have to hit me so hard?” He complains as he rushes back to his trailer. Hurt that you would deck him in front of an entire set, he can’t deny that your performance was spot on.

“At least it was one take?” Desiree offers the only silver lining she can find as she follows behind him, shitting the door to his trailer and pulling out the bottle of anti-inflammatories so his cheek doesn’t swell up.

“Thank god.” Dieter flops down on the small sofa and shakes his head. “Otherwise I'd look like I went twelve rounds with Ali.”

“She’s dedicated to realism, I’ll give her that.” His assistant frowns, but holds out the pills and a drink to him.

“Fuck those pills.” Dieter scoffs and shakes his head. “Give me the good stuff. Or better stuff.” He doesn’t care if they technically haven’t called the day. He’s done.

“Dee…” Desiree bites her lip, still holding out the pills to him. “You still have another scene to shoot today. Two, if you do another one in one take.”

“Nope.” Dieter shakes his head. “Too bad. My face is swollen!” More than that, he doesn’t want to face those eyes of yours again. Not today, not without some chemical assistance.

“I’ll talk to Sam.” Desiree nods, recognizing a stubborn mood when she sees it, and knows that this isn’t going to go over well. It’s only the first day of filming.

“Fine.” Dieter is slightly mollified when he gets his way and looks up at his assistant. “Now where’s the other pills?”

A five second long staring match ensues before Desiree relents and goes to the trailer's smaller kitchen cupboard to retrieve the unmarked white bottle that contains Dieter's homemade cocktail of Pill Roulette. "Here." She hands it to him reluctantly. "I'm going to go talk to Sam. I'll be right back."

Watching Desiree walk out the trailer door, Dieter twists open the cap of the bottle and shakes the pill into his hand. Huffing when there’s only one pill that is what he wants, he still pops it in his mouth, it’s better than nothing.

Five minutes later she’s carefully walking back on set, wondering how badly she’s about to get screamed at for this. “Sam,” she approaches the director with feigned confidence, studiously avoiding getting pulled into any side conversations on the way there.

“Can you get Dieter here?” Sam asks as he looks up from his clipboard. “Lighting has everything set for the next scene. And good work to him for taking that slap. It looks great on camera.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Desiree shifts on her feet, noting that you are nowhere to be found. You must have gone to make up to get cleaned up. “Unfortunately, his entire cheek is swollen now, because of it.”

“What?” Sam frowns, contemplating the shot now that he is learning that there might be a physical reaction. “How bad is it?”

“It looks bad now, but it might go down quickly.” Trying to do right by her boss and the production, Desiree tries to find a compromise. “Give him a half an hour? See if it starts to fade?”

“Half an hour.” Sam nods. “Then he needs to be on set. Some swelling won’t hurt the shot.”

“I’ll make sure he’s here.” She nods and backs off smoothly, only taking off for his trailer again at a damn run once Sam can’t see her anymore.

In his trailer, Dieter is staring at the large welt on his face, wondering when the hell you learned to hit like that. Hissing as he leans in to touch the tender flesh. “You deserved that,” he tells his reflection morosely. “You’re worthless. A loser asshole.”

Two rhythmic knocks on his trailer door let him know that Desiree has returned, and she pushes inside with a sympathetic expression on her face. "I bought you some time, but Sam is determined to go on today." She tells him, hating the expression of self-loathing she sees on his face. Frankly, she sees it far too often. Anyone would think the drugs were a self-indulgence or a carelessness on his part, but it has more to do with intense depression and self-image issues than anything else. The drugs are how he runs away from reality. "How are you feeling, Dee?"

“Sore.” Dieter grumbles, looking away from the reflection and picks up the towel wrapped ice pack again. “Let me lay down and then we’ll shoot the fuckin’ scene.” He is too introspective right now to fight. Maybe playing the character will allow him some freedom from the thoughts taking over. Give him an outlet like acting is supposed to be.

"Half an hour." Desiree moves around the space, lighting his aromatherapy candles and turning on the white noise machine that helps him drown out some of the uglier and more intrusive thoughts. "I'll be back in twenty-five minutes to get you moving, okay?"

“Yeah.” Dieter slumps down on the sofa, still in his costume of a half undone suit and closes his eyes. “Thanks.” His voice calls out softly, nearly breathless as the pill starts to mellow him out.

"Of course." She's quiet when she shuts the door behind her, but Desiree sighs to herself out in the middle of the trailers. Twenty-five minutes is enough to arrange something nice for him tonight. She'll see what strings she can pull to put together a little surprise for him.

******

Dieter is nearly asleep when the knock comes on the trailer door twenty-five minutes later. Making him groan and shake his head, not wanting to open his eyes. “Go ‘way! Still hurts.” He grunts, even as he pulls away the mostly melted ice from his face.

"Let me take a look." His assistant insists, coming inside with a KitKat and a bottle of kombucha. His health really is an enigma sometimes.

“How bad is it?” Dieter asks, fearing that he might be wearing that handprint for the scene. “Maybe it’ll be good right? My character is supposed to be angry with her.”

"It's definitely pink, but I think Monique can dim that a little." It was a hell of a slap, and Desiree bites the inside of her cheek to keep herself from babying him or exclaiming too much. She really does like the man, otherwise working for him would be insufferable. "The worst thing is that your eye is bloodshot, but that's okay."

“Shit! Seriously?” Dieter bolts off the sofa to run for the mirror again. Groaning when he sees the tiny bloodshot vessels of his eyes. “Fuck, she hit me hard.” He huffs, shaking his head. “Is that going to affect my lasik?” He demands, looking back as Desiree anxiously.

"Your appointment isn't for two days," she assures him, not wanting to see the pout that will surely form on his face. "You'll be just fine by then."

“It better not.” Dieter huffs, already annoyed at the idea of using his precious few days off recovering from eye surgery, but it’s better than not being able to see shit.

"I made you a dinner reservation for tonight." Hoping to perk him up a little and give him something to look forward to, Desiree had hunted down a fairly elusive supper club that catered to artists and eccentrics as well as anyone who had the money to mingle with them. "I know you were bummed that you didn't get to go to Dashiell's last time we were here, but they had an 8 o'clock reservation open for tonight." The place is incredibly unique, offering a staged performance during dinner, followed by a live band and dancing for those who are interested, and a litany of art supplies for those who would rather sit and observe the dancers. The walls are littered with the art of patrons who have drawn, sketched, or painted the dancers and diners on previous nights. The catch, because of course there is one, is that the tables are all served sociably family style. Every table is for four, and if you go alone you'll be seated with strangers. But it's a great place to see and be seen, and Dieter is a spectacular artist.

“Good.” Dieter bobbles his head, immediately buoyed by that news. “Maybe I can get laid. I need that, I’m tired of my hand.” He huffs, feeling the need for someone to show him some attention, give him some affection. Even if it is fake.

"You usually don't have any trouble with that." The sigh of relief that Desiree breathes is silent but very real, and she offers her boss a smile. "I'll take you over to hair and make up and then I'll run back to the hotel to get you something nice to wear tonight. Sound good?"

“Fuck.” That brings a pout to his lips. “I have to dress up.” The desire to get laid outweighs the annoyance with dressing up. He can put on less than comfy clothes to get what he wants.

******

Sitting in your chair in the makeup trailer, you're really trying your best to maintain composure in the face of how emotional the last scene was and manage your conflicting feelings over how it went. Rivkah is getting you cleaned up and retouched with Sadie sitting nearby, and your angel of an assistant has even grabbed you a hot cup of herbal tea and honey to soothe your voice after all that screaming. The last thing you need is to be hoarse.

Dieter flings the door open to the makeup trailer, halfway inside before he realizes you are in the chair beside his. Stopping short and immediately looking towards Monique, not wanting to see the satisfaction gleaming in your eyes. “Can you do something with this?” He asks, gesturing to his face as he sits down and twists away from you.

"Of course." She's already been told what happened, of course, and what scene she needs to have him ready for, but she gives him a kind smile. "We'll have you looking rugged and intense in no time."

“Good.” He doesn’t glance over at you, twisting open his drink and taking a gulp of it before he puts it between his thighs so he can open his KitKat.

Rugged and intense? You manage not to laugh at it, but you had no idea that Monique was a miracle worker. There's the ghost of a remark on your lips to Sadie, but you catch her grinning down at her phone and nearly giggling, and your expression softens. "You talking to her?" You ask, not saying who in case Dieter would object to your assistants spending social time together.

“Yeah.” Sadie glances up and then slides her gaze over to Dieter. She bites her lip and then opens her texts to you. His face was swollen and bright red. Desiree said he looked like an Oompa Loompa with the makeup streaked over the welts.

You glance up at her and back down at your phone, hating the twisting in your gut and chest. It didn't feel nearly as satisfying as I hoped, you write back.

Sadie frowns, biting her lip as she sighs. Maybe satisfaction will come when you show him you aren’t the girl he thought you were.

Maybe. I hope so. The short reply comes with a nod before you put your phone away and close your eyes for Rivkah to fix your eye make up. You need to be back on set shortly and you can tell already that the afternoon is going to be an internal battle.

Dieter chews on his candy bar as Monique works her magic, closing his eyes and frowning slightly as he goes over the lines in his head. Trying to channel the anger right now isn’t hard to do with the slap you had delivered.

******

An hour later on set is when it comes to a head. This drama follows the ups and downs of a married couple as their marriage and mental health starts to devolve, and it certainly includes more than one fight. Yours was filmed in one take, but Dieter’s is being done in smaller pieces as he chases you around the apartment set. The stop-and-go is exhausting with the intensity of the scene you’re doing, but it’s working. In a purely professional way, the scene is working perfectly.

Dieter, for his part, doesn’t get upset when Sam wants the close ups of his face. The mottled expressions and anger glazed eyes as he rants and rampages and generally terrorizes your character. Resetting after each one, absorbing the praise, there haven’t been any retakes, just different angles for the shifts he has in mind. This one should be the last.

Hissing, Dieter grabs you by the arms and drags you closer to his face, well aware the camera is right to his left. “I never loved you!” he bellows, spittle flying out of his mouth as he practically shakes in fury. “I never loved you.” he repeats again, not shouting this time but just as firm in that resolve as he shoves you away and drags his hands through his disheveled hair. “How could I love you? You’re nothing, less than nothing and you’ll always be nothing.”

For as real as your fury was earlier in the day, Dieter's disgust and hatred seems to build from that same, very real place of personal experience. All of a sudden you're back on the loveseat in your dressing room after finding out he was gone – frantically trying to get ahold of him with one hand clutching your belly as waves of nausea rack your body. I never loved you feels like the most honest words he's ever spoken to you and even though it doesn't indicate you should be doing it anywhere in the script, you're crying again. Silent, stricken tears roll down your face as he shoves you away and you crumple, shoulders pulling in and eyes falling open in dismay and disbelief as Sam screams "Cut!"

“That was great, so raw, so real!” Sam gushes as he rushes out, Dieter instantly deflating and doing almost a full body shake. Hating scenes like those, he wants to get as far away from those emotions as possible, especially the feeling of his character about to hit yours. It’s disgusting.

“Thanks,” he murmurs quietly, looking over at you and wondering if he should check on you. You had turned away pretty quickly.

Thank god you have the forethought to sneak a handkerchief into the pocket of your costume this time, having found one in the costume trailer that worked for the period. It's all you can do to keep your shit together and not run away sobbing, hearing Sam heap mountains of praise on Dieter for being so cold and so cruel. When you hear him ask for another angle on the shot you shudder and recoil like you'd be hit worse than you clocked Dieter this morning.

“I don’t think we should.” Dieter shakes his head. “I think it would be better to play that as one continuous scene. Especially since the rest of this is so cut.”

The way it feels like he's rescuing you after that makes you physically nauseous, and you don't turn around. You're lucky you can manage to drop yourself into a chair and lean over to put your head between your knees and breathe deeply.

“Honestly, I think that if you reshoot this scene, you’ll lose the…magic, of it.” Dieter glances back over at you and worries that you are not doing so well and he decides that he will offer Sam something else. “Why don’t we do the bathroom scene? It’s a solo scene and it would play well after this.”

"Set's not ready for that yet." Sam shakes his head, finally looking over at you and realizing that you're looking a little green around the gills. "Hey, hey, sweetheart." He drops to his knees in front of you and puts one hand on your back. "You good? A little overwhelmed?"

"I'm fine." Pity is what does it. What makes you put your handkerchief away and hold back the last sniffle, putting your head up to look your director in the eye. If you look at Dieter you're afraid you'll say or do something unprofessional. "It's just a little side effect of the jetlag, I think. My stomach's off."

“Yeah, shit, okay.” Sam nods quickly. “We’ll put a lid on today. Call it early. You did amazing and I know it was a set of heavy scenes.”

"Perfect." Without another word you're hightailing it off the set and making straight for the costume trailer with Sadie hot on your heels. "I'm going out tonight," you tell her unilaterally, not slowing down for her to keep up with you. "Need to clear my head."

Dieter is slower to follow, the rolling of his gut not one that he likes, or is used to. Desiree comes up to him eagerly, handing him a bottle of water. “I have your suit here.” She tells him, making him shake his head. “I changed my mind.” He tells her. “You take the reservation. I can’t– not after–” he breaks off, feeling uneasy about even thinking about trying to flirt and take someone back to his room after that. “I’m just going to – you take the reservation and enjoy it with whoever you keep texting.”

"Are you sure?" Her boss isn't usually one to give up on an excuse for bacchanalia, so Desiree is immediately concerned. "Do you need a comfort night?" Normally that entails indulgent take away food and an expensive bottle of something to drink, after which he may or may not paint or just stare at the walls while he goes on a journey in his own mind.

“No.” Dieter frowns, restless and unable to say exactly what he wants or needs. “I’ll just grab an Uber and wander.” He frowns again, thinking about how you had rushed off. “Hey— uh, check on her.” He motions towards your trailer. “Please?”

"You want me to—" She tilts her head in momentary confusion but shakes it off. "Uh, sure. Of course. I'll be right back."

Dieter watches her rush off for a moment before he shakes his head. Costuming will come to his trailer to collect his garments. Right now, he needs a shower to wash the icky feelings away. And maybe another round of pill roulette.

******

"If that's Dieter, you tell him to go to hell." The knock on your trailer door is unwelcome and unwanted, and you can barely stand to look Sadie in the eye right now let alone anyone else.

Rushing towards the door, Sadie has every intention of telling whoever is on the other side to go away. Until she’s greeted with the face of Dieter’s assistant. “Oh! Uh, Desiree…” She says the name loud enough that you know who is there. “Now’s not a good time.”

"He asked me to check on her." Desiree's voice is quiet when she looks up at Sadie, eyes silently communicating her concern over the request. This isn't a social call by any means, but she can sense how important it is to him.

“She doesn’t want to see him.” Sadie answers just as quietly, figuring that Desiree must not know the history between you and her boss. “But she’s tough, she’ll be okay.”

"Who is it?" Not that you really care either way, but since Sadie didn't shut the door in their face you have to assume that it isn't Dieter himself come to gloat over making you sick on set.

“It’s Desiree.” It worries her that you were so in your head that you didn’t hear her before. Testament to how shaken you are by that scene.

You're quiet for a minute before sighing. "Let her in," you decide, blotting your freshest tears on a tissue before you sit up on the sofa. "It'll attract attention if you're talking in the doorway."

Desiree slips inside and bites her lip when she sees how truly upset you are. “Is there anything I can do for you?” She asks immediately, not sure why Dieter insisted on checking on you, but he won’t be happy to learn you are in tears. She can sense that without even knowing the details.

"No." When you shake your head it makes you a little dizzy from all the buzzing in your head, so you stop right away. "No, honey. Thank you for asking, though. It was just a hard scene, that's all." The kettle in your little kitchenette goes off and Sadie steps away again, going to fix you a cup of tea while still keeping a very steady eye on the conversation. "Actually?" Your head tips up again and you try your best to smile but it falls flat. "You can have a really good time tonight. That's what you can do. Sadie works her ass off and I can only assume that you do the same."

“I– we’re going to Dashiell’s tonight.” Desiree can’t even hide her excitement at that news. “I had made a reservation for– uh, my boss, but he doesn’t feel up for that tonight.” She feels guilty for bringing him up, but it’s never a bad thing to remind people that Dieter can be sweet sometimes.

“Well that’s fancy.” You won’t hide your surprise, but Sadie is glowing when she hands you your tea and you can’t help but smile. The first time you’ve smiled in hours - maybe all day. “Have some much fun, you guys.”

“I’m not leaving you just yet,” Sadie promises, though she smiles broadly at Desiree when she thinks you aren’t paying attention. “You still thinking you’ll go out tonight?”

“I’m honestly not sure.” After that, you’re not sure if you want to forget the world exists or just melt into it and forget you exist.

“You should.” Desiree comments softly. “There’s a great little tea and sandwich shop down from the hotel.” She offers. “It’s cozy.” She had to make a list for Dieter before they even got here, knowing how varied his tastes can be.

“Thank you. I’ll remember that.” She seems far too nice to have to put up with Dieter’s bullshit twenty-four hours a day. Hopefully she’s well paid for it. After a second, you look at Desiree again and seem to summon courage out of nowhere. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” She tilts her head curiously and wonders what you could possibly want to know. Especially since you don’t seem to like Dieter.

“I’m curious.” And you don’t mind admitting that it’s a morbid curiosity. “If you know about Bambi.”

“Bambi.” Her eyes widen and she bites her lip, curious as to how you know that name. “Dieter doesn’t talk about it.” She admits quietly. “Refuses to, gets mad if someone says something to him about it the next day.” She sighs. “Whoever Bambi is, Dieter has a lot of regrets about. Or they broke his heart. Maybe both.”

“I doubt it’s the second.” After the way he seemed to look completely through you as he growled the words in your face, it seems impossible. “Bambi was just another notch on his bedpost. Someone to keep the sheets warm while he was waiting for Hollywood to call.”

“Oh my god.” It clicks and her heart plummets to her shoes. “You’re Bambi.” She breathes out, feeling stupid for not putting it together sooner.

“I was.” You nod reluctantly. “A very long time ago.” A time that seems more and more like it belongs to someone else with every passing day.

“I’m sorry.” Desiree murmurs softly. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but I’m sorry.” Obviously it was bad, how it ended, but maybe there were some good times as well.

“Ask him.” You suggest, sitting back in your seat. “My version is bound to be different from his. But at least he still talks in his sleep.”

“I don’t know if he will tell me.” She admits quietly. “It’s like whatever happened, he’s greedily trying to keep that for himself.”

“Greedy might be the right word.” With a sigh, you look between the two women and shift over on the couch. “If you want to know, I’ll tell you the edited version. It might help with context.”

“You don’t have to tell us.” Desiree immediately blurts out, not wanting you to feel like you have to bear your soul to her. You barely know her and she’s your ex’s assistant.

"Just...whatever he says about me?" You grip your mug of tea and remain silently grateful that she didn't want to hear what could be considered incredibly good gossip. "Please take it with a grain of salt. I was very young then." Young, and oh so incredibly gullible.

“Bambi.” The nickname makes sense, and she nods. “I form my own judgments about people. He can be a handful on the best days but he–” she pauses, wondering if she should give you this information but ultimately decides you deserve it. “He’s a wreck of self loathing and desperation to be loved as he pushes people away. A rabid raccoon, if you will.”

"Rabid sounds about right." The description of him actually makes you laugh slightly, though it's more of a huff that shakes your shoulders. "Anyway, it's the age old tale of a girl and boy parting badly. That's all."

“He sent me to check on you.” She doesn’t know why that’s important for you to know about, but it seems like it is. “Make sure you are alright.”

"Are you sure he didn't send you to see how much damage he had inflicted?" It's not meant to be unkind, but you can't believe that Dieter would ever care enough to want to make sure you're okay. You'd put far more money on him wanting to make sure you were devastated.

Desiree frowns and shakes her head. “I’m not trying to change your mind about Dieter Bravo.” She promises you. “But he’s not the type of man to enjoy those scenes, but he’s not the type to check on his scene partner after either.” She draws out the scene for you. “So make of that what you will. And I’m going to tell him that you were laughing and drinking tea in your trailer when he asks.”

"Thank you, Desiree." She doesn't have to be kind, or listen to both sides of things, and she certainly doesn't have to show you any sympathy. "And really – genuinely – I hope you guys have fun tonight. Mine and Dieter's bullshit shouldn't have any effect on you guys."

“But if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call Sadie.” Desiree tells you, knowing that if Dieter calls, she will answer. It’s kind of like being a twenty-four hour babysitter for a grown up, but she’s paid really well to do it.

"I'll try not to have an emergency." You promise them both. "If it's an emergency and you don't call, I'll track you down and wallup you myself." Sadie jokes, just glad to see you smiling even a little bit after how broken you seemed coming off set.

Desiree feels like you need a hug, but she isn’t close enough to you to do that. Smiling softly and nodding. “I better go get everything done for the night so we can go.” She says after a moment. “Have a good night.”

“She seems nice.” You look to Sadie after the door closes, letting your mask of strength drop in front of the only person you fully trust.

“I think so.” She murmurs softly, giving you a concerned look. “I can cancel tonight.” She offers. “We can watch movies and eat junk with zero remorse.”

“Don’t you dare.” It’s exactly the kind of person that Sadie is, to offer to give up her night to comfort you, but you shake your head adamantly. “Dashiell’s is nearly impossible to get into and I still insist you use my card.”

Sadie hums, knowing she isn’t going to use your card for a night for herself. She doesn’t like doing that even when you insist. You are already generous enough. “Well, let me get you back to the hotel, then.” She says instead, knowing you don’t want to be here any longer than you need to be.

“I think a hot bath is in order before anything else.” And if you’re not feeling up to facing the world, you’ll just put on pajamas and crawl into that big bed and call for room service.

“I know you will enjoy that. I bought some of those bath salts you love last night.” She had planned on giving them to you today anyway so this seems fortuitous.

“You take such good care of me.” She does, and you made a promise to yourself years ago never to take advantage of her. Sadie is paid extremely well, showered with gifts, and given as much time off as you can manage to give while still maintaining a very active career. “I can’t ever thank you enough for being the best assistant in the world.”

“You make it extremely easy.” She promises with a grin and starts to gather her things to whisk you back to the hotel.

******

Almost two hours later, after a half a bottle of wine in a screaming hot lavender scented bath, you manage to get yourself dressed in clean clothes to search out the tea and sandwich shop that Desiree had mentioned earlier. If you can get your hands on any variation of a ham and Brie sandwich tonight, you’ll consider it a win.

Scratching his chin, Dieter stares at the image in front of him, his charcoal pencil tapping on the corner of the page as he studies it. The cooling jasmine tea and the extra large glass of pinot grigio ignored, along with a half eaten club sandwich. Needing to get the sight of your devastated face out of his mind.

The bell over the door chimes delicately when it opens and shuts, admitting a single person. The place is crowded but not unwelcoming, and the teenage hostess seats you without a fuss at the only empty table left in the dining room. It was good that you listened to Sadie, you decide, shifting your hands in your pockets to wrap your fingers around the thin book you brought. Just getting some fresh air will do you good, and fresh air away from Dieter will be even better.

Dieter licks his finger, smudging some of the lines to make them blurry, giving the curve of your jaw a softness that he’s always liked. Your eyes haunt him from the page. Drilling into him again and again as he can see the heartbreak in them. Making his heart burn and he reaches for the bottle for an antacid this time.

A cordial chat with the hostess stops cold when you see that the table she described as her very last is right next to Dieter fucking Bravo of all people. Your expression sours and you contemplate leaving all together but if you leave then he wins. And you’re not sure why you think that or where the thought came from but now it’s the loudest one in your head. Instead you thank the girl with a tight lipped smile and try to ignore the man just two feet away from you. You’ll have your dinner and you’ll be on your way. You’re a fucking adult, after all.

“Fuck.” He huffs under his breath, frowning down at the portrait that he is creating, putting the pencil back to the page as he isn’t quite happy with the image. It’s not what he’s seeing and he needs this. It’s cathartic, to steal a line from the half dozen therapists he’s seen on and off over the years. Mainly from the high priced drug rehab centers that he’s been to.

“No, thank you.” You respond dryly, picking up the menu that was left on the table in front of you but never looking over at him. Whatever he’s fine must be frustrating him. Good.

When Dieter is concentrating on something, he is fully emerged in it, blocking out the sounds around him as he works. Not noticing the movement as someone sits down to his right. Humming to himself when he manages to add depth to your distraught expression that was burned into him.

“Not even a pithy comeback or a bored laugh?” Putting down your menu and turning to look at him, you have a perfect – if accidental – view of what he’s doing. Your own face stares back at you from the sketchbook in his hands, tears and pain etched on the paper for his personal amusement. You see red immediately, reaching out to snatch the book out of his hands in anger, hissing “What the fuck?!” in the process.

Dieter jumps, startled out of his tunnel vision and his first reaction is annoyance. “What the fuck!” He hisses, glaring at whoever dared to touch his sketchbook as he whirls around and sees you. His face freezing and mouth dropping open in shock. “Oh– fuck–” he frowns in confusion as you glare at him. “What? What are you–”

“What the fuck is this?” You demand, clutching the sketchbook in two hands and keeping it just far enough out of his reach that he has to answer you if he ever has a prayer of getting it back. “Immortalizing the memory, are we? Planning on framing it to laugh at on a rainy day? I knew I should have hit you harder.”

He gapes at you like a fish, the surprise of you being in front of him along with the drugs he had taken making it take a little longer to comprehend what you are saying. Until he finally realizes you are accusing him of sketching your pain as some kind of sick thrill. “Give that back.” He hisses, reaching for it but he is out of reach, still sitting in his chair.

“No!” No way in hell are you going to let him keep this grotesque image, and you reach to tear the page out immediately. Hell, if this place had a working fireplace, you’d toss the whole book in it out of disgust. Except…once the page is out and in your hand, the ones remaining flap and you catch a glimpse of another sketch. Another sketch of you. “What the fuck is this?” Your hair is in an old style in this image – a style you haven’t worn since you were very young – and you swallow a sickening amount of bile as you start to flip through the pages. It’s you. The entire book is you. Image after image, younger versions of you as you were when the two of you met versus some others that you recognize as poses from films you’ve been in or promotional shots from red carpets or other events. They’re all you. “You have three seconds to explain this,” you bite out between gritted teeth. “Why the fuck do you have a book full of me?”

Dieter’s chair scrapes back, shooting to his feet as he lunges for the book. “Give it back!” He demands louder, not caring that people in the little shop are turning towards the two of you, chattering ignored because of the pounding of his heart and the rush of his blood in his ears. Cheeks flaming hot because you know. You’ve seen a book that no one else has seen. Ever. “Now!”

“Explain it.” Barely keeping the book out of reach, you shred two pages out of the binding indiscriminately. “What kind of a sick joke is this?” Heads are turning but you’re only seeing red, angry and devastated all over again for reasons you can’t put your finger on or analyze properly as your voice rises.

“Don’t! Fuck, don’t do that!” Dieter is frantic, panicking because of the pages you are shredding, hating that you are destroying the sketches he has spent so much time working on and looking at. Feeling like his security blanket is being stripped away from him like he was seven again and his father threw it in the fireplace and told him to ‘man up’. “Please.” He begs, breathing shallowly and feeling like he’s about to cry.

“Explain.” The demand is harsh, but the way he sounds like he might hyperventilate stays your hand from tearing at more pages. You’re angry, but you’re not trying to send anyone to the hospital.

“It’s– I just– I sketch to get the image out of my head.” Dieter’s own voice is small, quiet as he explains. “That’s it, that’s all. Just–” he swallows harshly and his outstretched hands drop to his sides. “Don’t ruin more of it.” His expression falls as he tries to shut himself off from the emotional connection to the book, knowing you will either keep it or destroy it completely in front of him.

“Why is it all me?” That’s what you don’t understand, and finally stop seething long enough to see the tears in his eyes and the slouch in his shoulders. As furious as you might be, this isn’t a fight in a script. It’s very real, and your confusion has brought you out of the angry haze long enough to see that someone has whipped their phone out. You’re being recorded. “Pay your bill.” You order under your breath, Shoving the sketchbook back at him and trying to compose yourself. “We’re going back to the hotel.” There’s no way you’re letting this go without a full explanation.

Dieter abandons the table and shuffles over the waitress, handing her his card and a murmured comment about the sandwich. His stomach is rolling as he tries to put the pages back where they were but he can’t. Swallowing down the embarrassment of you seeing this. Everyone else here, he doesn’t give a shit about. He doesn’t care about the scene, but you knowing about this makes him want to vomit.

The most you can think to do is apologize to the hostess for causing a fuss on the way out, but other than that you’re silent as you steer Dieter out of the restaurant and back up the block toward the hotel. There’s enough confusion jostling the anger in your mind that you can’t quite think straight, and the tense silence between you stretches right to the hotel elevator.

Dieter shuffles, his arm around the notebook as if you are going to rip it away from him again. Not sure what to say or why you are so damn angry at him. People draw you all the time, he sees it when he actually remembers the login for his social media accounts or he’s doing promotions for his upcoming movies. Forced promotions, because it was in the contract.

It’s not until you get him into your suite and lock the door that you can find the presence of mind to speak again, although the guilt of having him look at you like a kicked puppy is already gnawing at your insides. “Why?” You ask again, feeling your voice shake. “Do you have a sketchbook full of me?”

“Why not?” Dieter has finally hit annoyed, pissed that you destroyed his sketchbook, messed up his work. “It’s an old book.” He defends, even though he knows it’s a weak argument.

“That you kept for twelve years and decided to add to today, of all days?” His petulance isn’t exactly helping you have any sympathy, but mostly you feel…watched. Observed in a way you don’t like at all. Analyzed in a far more intimate way than a gossip column could ever manage.

“It’s not–” Dieter sighs and closes his eyes. “It’s not that old. I started it about nine years ago.” He confesses quietly. “A therapist told me that it might help.”

“Help what? Assuage your guilt?” It boggles your mind that he would ever have the need to talk about you in therapy, of all places, until you remember Desiree. “You do have guilt, don’t you?” Your voice softens perceptibly, turning curious. “That’s why you still dream about me.”

“How did you–” Dieter realizes he’s talking and snaps his mouth shut. Unwilling to give away if he had been dreaming about you or not. Instead he focuses on the why. “It helps. My brain is all fucked up.” He lets go of the book with one hand to motion to his head like he’s crazy. “She told me it could help get it out. What keeps rolling through my mind.”

“Somebody told me that you talk about Bambi in your sleep, that’s how I know.” While you won’t debate his mental health with him, you also won’t make fun of him for it. No one chooses depression or addiction. One look at his family is enough to show anyone what he’s dealing with – they’re worse than the Barrymores.

“Fuck.” Dieter’s jaw clenched and he shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter, I’m not stalking you. I just– I needed to get you looking at me like I’m a monster out of my head.”

“That doesn’t explain nine years’ worth of sketches, Dee.” It’s barely even a nickname, but it passes your lips without thinking.

“What do you want me to say?” Dieter asks, not sure what exactly you are looking for. You calling him Dee takes him back to the one fucking time he was truly happy, before he fucked it up.

“I—” Having him push back deflates you a little, and you realize you’re actually not sure. You have no clue what you want him to say. “I don’t know,” you admit quietly. And you hate not knowing.

Dieter acts like an ass, he knows this. He’s kind of proud of it most days. He is difficult and moody, ‘artistic’ as he likes to call it. But he’s broken. Full of anger and fear, begging for something to change and never being brave enough to try. “Do I feel guilt?” He asks, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Of course I do.” He huffs, unable to look at you right now while he reveals the deepest parts of himself. “Everyone I’ve ever fucking loved has left me or I’ve fucked it up. Self-sabotaged they tell me. I left the one goddamn person who made me feel normal, worth a damn, because I figured out that I was in over my head and I didn’t know how to handle it.”

“Someday you might want to tell them that.” Feeling exhausted by a day full of tension and yelling, you drop down in the nearest place to sit and grab a pillow like it was a teddy bear.

Dieter stares at you for a moment, sighing to himself and he knows that you hate him. He deserves it, but he turns around and walks towards the door of your room. Reaching for the handle, he looks over his shoulder. “I just did.” He rasps quietly and opens the door to slip out to his own room.

______ Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle    

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[scarlettriot]

✨ THE BONDS THAT BIND US • PART ONE ✨

• Pairing: Kirishima X f!Reader (in time)

• Warnings: Talks of Murder and Assassination, Assault, Persecution. Smut will occur later so if you’re under the age of 18 or a blank/ageless blog DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS SERIES! If I missed anything, please let me know!

• Contents: Fantasy Setting, Dragon Kirishima, Chubby Librarian Reader. All characters are aged up to late 20s-early 30s. Part One is told mostly from Bakugo’s POV, Reader is the Librarian he meets.

• A/N: Made myself finish this chapter as a bday gift to myself. I know I have a lot of other chapter fics I really need to wrap up but this has been the only thing living in my head right now. I’ve drawn some inspiration from Yuzuya’s Fantasy series as well but this story is entirely different. If you haven’t checked out their audio series, seriously please do! I hope you all enjoy the first chapter of this adventure ♥︎

• Word Count: 3,200ish

The city of Spirefall stood tall on the horizon. To most people it was the shining gem of the entire country. But, to Katsuki, the place filled him to dread and anger as it loomed before them. He really didn’t want to get any closer, that was why he insisted on camping a few miles out, where they still had the forest for cover.

“I still don’t like this,” The Dragon Kin Prince grumbled his opinion for the umpteenth time since they woke up less than an hour ago. Most of his breakfast was still sizzling on his plate, untouched since he had no desire to take even a single bite.

“Yeah, but, we don’t have a better plan either.” Izuku brought up, “The library is at the city center. I’m certain they’ll have some useful information for us there.”

“Your stupid library didn’t…” Katsuki quipped right back.

Izuku just narrowed his eyes at one of his oldest friends. “My very small and woefully short supplied library doesn’t hold records and journals from ages past.” He had to remind the heir yet again.

From the time he was able to read, Izuku adored going to the small little library that was established just on the outskirts of his town. He’d go with his mother and come back with piles and piles of books and then go back the next day to do it all over again. As soon as he was old enough to seek an apprenticeship there, he had, and now he’d worked up to being a senior librarian, one of the highest titles someone could achieve.

“But, why couldn’t we have just put in a request to have the books sent to us like we have before!”

“Haven’t we been over this like 10 times since last night!”

The group looked over towards the irritable metallic dragon, lounging while he finished his second helping of food. The remark caused him to be whacked by a faded black to crimson wing belonging to the dragon he called brother.

“What Ei! You know I’m right!”

Eijiro shook his head and explained to the Prince, “You know how long it took us to walk here. It would’ve taken them twice that time to get the texts to us, and even then, we can only request so many at a time. We’ve been looking for the Opals for so damn long now. Just go into the city, hope to the Ancients they have some knowledge we don’t, and then get out.”

Even with all of the logic they placed in front of him, Prince Katsuki still hated going to the city that was responsible for slaughtering so many dragons, so many dragonkin too. He was just supposed to walk into their immaculate city and act like they weren’t a lot of murderers?

It’ll be fine, Katsuki.

Eijiro sent the words through their bond just for him to hear. It’d been a trick they could do ever since they took the oath and had their skin marked at the ages of 18. Beautiful swirls and designs in ink marked the journey they’ve taken together so far. It linked them to each other, a sworn promise to always protect and stand beside the other.

Mental communication wasn’t the only benefit to the marks though. They could also sense the other’s emotions, feel what they were feeling even when they were miles apart. And if they were miles apart, lost on their own, the bond always would lead them back to each other. So long as the other lived, they’d be tied together.

“Fine. C’mon, let’s get this over with.”

He cast his plate of food aside and pretended not to notice when Tetsu’s silver claws snatched it right up. Izuku shoveled the last of his breakfast into his mouth while gathering up his pack because Katsuki was already heading out of the glen, and Izuku would be left behind if he didn’t get a move on.

“What kind of city doesn’t allow weapons?” Katsuki grumbled as they walked past the checkpoint. He felt naked without his swords at his side. Luckily, if they really needed it, he could still use hand to hand or magic but that really wasn’t allowed here either.

“I know it doesn’t make sense to you, but the center of Spire has always been this way.” Izuku couldn’t go on too long of a history lesson because he knew the Prince would merely tune him out. “Out in the residential areas, people are allowed to use them with restrictions to protect their property but within the center, the city guards are expected to protect the market and the people here.”

“You mean those guards?”

Izuku looked off in the direction of the blonde’s scowl. Two guards were at the mouth of an alley, playing a dice game on a stack of crates, not paying a single bit of attention to what was going on around them.

All Izuku could do was shake his head and nudge Katsuki in the right direction. “Let’s just go, the library is this way.”

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, the city itself wasn’t bad. There were people selling food out of small stalls and he knew the dragon’s would be losing their minds if they were here, visiting each and every one of them. But, there were plenty of other shops around too, ones for reagents and gear, metal working, some jewelers, and so many clothing stores that he lost count!

Still, that bead of hate in his chest remained… a city that took so much from his people thrived this much and that made him feel ill.

Before he knew it though, they were walking up a massive set of marble stairs and through grand doors with golden swirled inlays. “So, where the hell do we start?”

“Well, the books written about the Opals themselves would probably be just in your generic information sections–”

“Yeah, but, we don’t need the generic shit. We got plenty of that information already.”

Izuku just rolled his eyes and went on. “Which is why I believe we should start in the lower levels where the personal records are stored.” He tapped his own notebook where he’d been gathering information about travelers and researchers who might have spotted them. “We’ve got a couple names, with any luck, a few of their journals might’ve found their way here.”

“Great, let's hurry it up.”

Together the two of them headed straight for the stairs only to be stopped before they could actually reach them. “Excuse me,” A woman grabbed their attention, “I’m sorry but you’re not able to go into the archives without an appointment and prior authorization from a senior librarian. Do you have an appointment?”

Katsuki went to open his mouth but Izuku spoke first. “We don’t but I do have this.” He pulled out his own credentials and hoped they’d do the trick.

“Oh, you’re from a sister branch! And not a close one either.”

He chuckled softly. “No, not close at all. I wasn’t aware you needed to make appointments at the main branch.”

“It’s just because we tend to get busy and sometimes we don’t have enough staff to escort people.” She looked around, “But, since it’s a slow day, I’m happy to help a fellow senior!” She led the way, beckoning them both to follow her down.

“So, what exactly are the two of you looking for? I assume it’s something specific since you’ve traveled such a long way.”

“We’re looking for information on some dragons.” Izuku answered bluntly.

There were quite a few different ways this stranger could’ve reacted but, considering the city they were in, neither Izuku or Katsuki expected her to spin around with narrowed brows and question, “Why?”

“None of your damn business.” Katsuki retorted. “We need information on the Opal Clan. Do you got it or not?”

Her arms folded in front of her and Izuku almost took a step back. “I asked, ‘why’. Tell me and I’ll let you know what, if any, information I possess.”

Katsuki could feel his blood beginning to boil and he started pushing up his sleeves before he thought better of it. He had another remark ready to go, right on the tip of his tongue, when the woman turned back around with a curt, “fine,” and led the pair further into the belly of the library.

Both men quickly realized they wouldn’t have gotten far at all with this woman’s help anyway. This library had far more security measures than Izuku’s. Magic in place around every corner.

It was quiet as she used a wand to dispel charms and wards to get them where they needed to go but finally, they reached a room that only bathed itself in light upon entering it. “Hopefully we can find what you need in here.”

The Prince’s eyes were bleary from looking at so many journals and scrolls. He swore the dark ink on well worn pages was blurring together even though the librarian and Izuku seemed to be having no trouble at all keeping on.

“Your glasses are in my bag.” Izuku gently reminded him after noticing the way he pushed the heel of his palm further into his eye socket. But, he merely grumbled something about not needing them and held up yet another journal.

He didn’t get very far though before the scratching of quill to paper had his eyes glancing up at the librarian. She’d been busy like this since they’d told her exactly what they were looking for. He still couldn’t figure out what made her change her mind but he wasn’t about to complain. Not when she’d laid out a handful of nesting locations they could check as well as drew them maps detailing how to get to each of them.

“How do you know all about this stuff?” He asked after watching her outline a mountain range.

“I read.” Her answers had been short ever since he’d snapped at her and if he was being honest, he was getting more than a little sick of it.

“Were the dragon’s your area of study to get your senior title?” She nodded her head when Izuku asked. “I see. Mine covered the various sources of magic.”

“So, I’m assuming you did a fair amount of draconic research too.”

“I did.” Izuku smiled broadly. “Obviously not as detailed as you. I just know where a few clans can typically be found but the magic they possess I’m pretty well versed in.”

The two went back and forth. Sharing little bits of information they’d gathered over their years of study. Katsuki sat back and observed. Learned what personal details she let slip about herself.

She’s never left the city of Spirefall, she was raised in the library, everything she’s learned has been from the books and people who drop them off. Woman must’ve been like a damn sponge to retain this much information… even more so than Izuku himself.

He let Izuku do damn near all the talking with her but, eventually, he couldn’t keep the singular question in any longer. “Why?” He breathed.

“Pardon?”

“Why?” This time it had a little more acid to it. “Spirefall… this place you call home, is responsible for so much murder and destruction of dragon kind. So, why study them? Why do you care? Are you feeding information to the hunters? Because we’re not them! We’re not gonna take this information and–”

“Kacchan!” Izuku finally cut him off, “I’m so sorry–”

The librarian just held up a hand. “If I thought you were going to do anything to harm the dragons, I wouldn’t have allowed you down here in the first place.”

“So, you’re just that trusting then, huh?”

“Absolutely not.” She shook her head up then glanced at his arm that was still covered. “I saw what you’re hiding under that sleeve. I’ve never seen one in person but I’ve seen plenty of drawings to know what a life bond looks like when I see one. Your intent must be pure or you wouldn’t have it in the first place.” Her eyes met his then, “you were also smart enough not to bring them into the city with you. That alone shows me how much you care and it is why you’re here rather than thrown out on your ass.”

Izuku’s eyes went wide, his mouth opening and closing trying to figure out something he could say to calm what he was sure would be an irate Katsuki but the blonde was just as stupefied. His friends were the only people able to get away with speaking to him so candidly and even then they usually got an earful but right now, Katsuki was stunned silent.

“I suppose just because you are friends with a librarian doesn’t mean you understand what it means to actually be one, so, allow me to explain it clearly for you: We uphold history and truth, we are protectors of knowledge, and always seek to learn more and expand what we already know.” Her voice dropped to a whisper even though there was no one else in the room to hear her words. “We keep history that certain Emperors would see destroyed if it ever saw the light of day. We are few though, our voices are silenced if we ever try sharing what we know. So, we keep history safe, until there is a day when the truth will actually be heard and believed rather than dismissed by small minded men filled with generations of hate.”

Katsuki didn’t know what to say. Words were trapped in his throat.

“Does that mean proof of the rogue dragon faction really does exist?” Izuku asked just as quietly. “If it does, dragon kind could be exonerated of all these horrible accusations. The Obsidians would no longer be blamed for the slaughter of the original royal–”

“It wouldn’t matter.” Katsuki said quietly when he found his voice again.

“What?! It would prove their innocence. They could fly without fear!”

“Keep your damn voice down.” He hissed and smacked the back of his friend's head. “You know as well as I do the dragon’s tried clearing themselves ages ago when the assassination first happened and plenty of people and places believed them. There are cities and nations where they’re safe. Just not within the lands the Flame Emperor rules… He built his empire on rage and it runs on revenge. It’s rooted so deep that he’d rather destroy proof of innocence than admit he was wrong.”

The librarian nodded her head and Katsuki understood then that she too knew what it was like to live with a truth that no one wanted to hear let alone believe.

“It’s safe here though, yes? Whatever this proof is?” He asked her.

For the first time, she gave him a small smile, “I never said it was here but, yes, it’s safe.”

Katsuki thought a lot about that librarian even after they’d left the city with Izuku’s bag now teeming with new information.

He was quiet the whole way back to camp wondering how many people have tried getting information about the dragons and how many of them she kicked out on their asses, as she so kindly put it. He still didn’t really trust her and he hated Spirefall and the Emperor who called it home. But, it was refreshing to know there was at least someone they could turn to in the city if needed.

She welcomed them back any time, so long as their dragon comrades never stepped foot in the city, and he assured her that would never happen. And, technically, it hadn’t.

When he’d returned to the city later that night in hopes of gaining more information regarding some other clans Katsuki never expected he’d find you cornered by a group of hunters. Just outside the library, belongings scattered on the floor while they pulled and tore at your clothing, not a guard in sight, big surprise.

Having his sword would’ve been ideal but he’d been in a brawl or two, and he had no trouble showing these useless skin sacks what sparring with dragons on a regular basis taught him.

He had one by the hood of his cloak, yanking him backwards hard and fast, tripping him to the ground and elbowing his brow before he could stand back up. One of his comrades turned but Katsuki ducked low and simply flipped them over his shoulder and stomped on their chest for good measure, grabbing your arm before the third fully realized what the hell was going on. Of course, when they did, they only screamed for the guards who suddenly came running.

“Why the hells are they chasing us! You were the one getting attacked!”

“Hunters are basically honorary guards here. They’re well respected. It’ll be my word against theirs and mine will lose!” She explained while running alongside him, “You need to leave before you’re captured.”

He felt her try and pull away but his grip was too strong as he pulled her along. “What will happen to you?”

“Don’t worry about that!”

That answer wasn’t good enough for Katsuki though.

The fire was still going but everyone else at camp was calming down for the night, Eijiro included. He’d been laying out his bed roll when the baby hairs on the back of his neck rose and he felt a wave of panic throughout his whole body.

“It’s Kacchan, isn’t it?” Izuku noticed the redhead go deathly still.

“He’s in trouble… everyone needs to get in the forest, now, I’m going after him!” He was already yanking his shirt over his head.

“Eijiro! Let one of us go!”

“You won’t get there fast enough!” And neither would he unless he transformed.

Any plan would’ve been smarter than him transforming and flying to the city that would have him killed on sight. Even Tet or Mina would’ve stood a better chance but they wouldn’t be able to locate Katsuki like he could. He couldn’t risk it.

He let his wings unfurl and shook the trees around him as he took off, sailing low for the time being and trusting Katsuki would find a way to get to his location. The water was calm and he was thankful no one was on it. He waited silently until he heard explosions and yelling from the city above and then he shot himself upward just as Katsuki flung himself over the cliffside with someone he didn’t know. He felt them both land and then took off faster than he’d ever flown as projectiles were hurled at them.

Katsuki let his own magic fly along with colorful swears and he felt the other body clinging to his spines for dear life. But less than a minute later, they were well out of range. Out of sight too. Safe for now.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed part one! If you want to be tagged in future updates comment below. You must have your age in your profile to be added to the tag list! Thank you ♥︎♥︎♥︎

[l-crimson-l]

I'd love to get into girlpla, I'm just a bit too broke to afford any kits; however, if you'd like to talk about it as a whole, I'd be more than happy to hear.

So…let me try this again. I had a whole nice post written up and I swapped off for a moment to check something and I completely lost the post.

Mecha Musume has a pretty long history that I’m not going to go into but here’s a little video if you’re interested.

Now when most people think of Mecha Musume there’s basically one standout line above them all: Frame Arms Girl.

This line is a bit old now but its popularity has set the aesthetic style for the market as it stands now. The build of these are…ok. Kotobukiya was definitely learning with these kits but they’re still solid at the end of it.

Now if you’re like me you’re not too much a fan of the pantsu out look, and other kits in the line don’t exactly do anything to mitigate that feeling (looking at you Durga I).

The next line Koto would release would be better at this tho. The Megami Device line features all original designs as well as collabs from new and old mecha musume brands alike.

First thing off the bat this is that they’re pricey. At an average cost of $70 you’re basically buying a Bandai MG gunpla. That said, they all typically come with a bunch of option parts. These are usually in the form of unarmored limbs, different chest pieces, face plates (with water slides to make your own) and extra connectors to help with kitbashing. Koto also has released option body segments to let you swap any part of the body you might want to if the right option isn’t available in the box (~$12). It should be noted the newest kits in this line have brought the price down to $50 as well as reengineered the build to add a lot more articulation and pose-ability.

Also in this lines favor is the articulation and build quality. You’re going to get a nice range of motion with or without armor and some of the smaller details also sometimes come pre painted.

That said Kotobukiya is a company that favors more complex character design over an Out Of Box experience so there’s some smaller details that are etched into the kit but unless your paints them won’t be color correct. I would say this is pretty common across most Koto lines.

Both the FAgirls and Megami Device are scaled at 1/12 so Little Armory guns and the whole market of 3rd party accessories will work with these kits.

Next up is Koto’s Sousai Shoujo Teien which is simple girls as plastic models

A little cheaper and at 1/10 scale instead of 1/12. I’ve not built any but I do know they can bash with Megami Device and Hexa Gear lines just fine. If you take a peek at the JP girpla community there’s actually a niche but healthy group dedicated to taking nice photos of their kits dressed up in everyday scenarios.

Finally the newest line of Koto girl kits is the Arcanadea line.

Purely in a fantasy take these are Incredible kits. I’ve only built one (Lumitea) but it was far and away a much better build experience than the FAgirl kits. These are actually designed by a vtuber artist iirc which is why the designs are so different than other Koto kit lines. If you have the cash and want to try something different I would highly recommend.

Now finally we get to Bandai. After learning from their failures with the Hg Build Fighters girls they went back and designed something solid and what got me into mecha musume: 30 Minute Sisters

Right off the bat with an average price of around $30 the barrier to entry is much easier. While not as refined as the Megami Device line, these simple kits cram in a lot for the price. You’ll get an armored and unarmored form, as well as face plates. However the biggest selling point is How Damn Easy they are to bash. Being apart of the 30M line means they’re completely compatible with the 30MM line of mechs. Which also means all of those extra weapon and armor sets transfer over for the most part. And that’s not even talking about the dedicated 30MS option sets like hair parts, body parts, etc.

This is a Very beginner friendly line of kits and the place I would suggest most people starting if they’re looking to get into mecha musume.

This example I think uses about 5 different kits to build and I don’t believe any serious modifications were needed.

Another Bandai line to mention is the Standard Figurise line which you’ll be familiar with if you’ve picked up the Sulletta, Miorine or ChuChu kits. Typically pretty solid kits (uma musume excluded, only get the 30ms version of that one) they usually include characters from a variety of different shows. These are still of course bash-able but not without modification.

With the explosion of popularity with these kits means we have even more companies now joining in the race. ATK and MS General have a bunch of kits to offer and we see new companies pop up some really sick looking kits (see tgat Galahad)

We even have Plamax giving us the really cool looking GODZ ORDER kits and soon character kits from Blue Archive, Konosuba and others.

For these smaller/third party companies I would suggest doing plenty of research before buying one. The ATK kit that I made was Especially frustrating and required a lot of extra work to make parts fit right or to clean them up so they fit at all. Not to mention the extra detail work required to really make them look like the box example. Just do your homework.

I hope this helps!! It’s a growing market so there’s always more kits being announced. This should have covered the majority of kits out there but IMPORTANT! Check sites like AmiAmi for sales or resales on kits. You can sometimes find an unbuilt kit that retails at $70 going for $30.

USAGS will regularly get Koto kits in and new releases but by no means believe them when they say a kit is USAGS exclusive. Remember to check HLJ as well. Let me know if you have any other questions and I’ll do my best to answer them!!

[garfeildfanpage]

Ok so on the topic of headcanons, I know I haven’t mentioned it yet but Terukane has been a gruesome infection in my brain for over 3 years now, and it’s about time I let the brain worms breathe

Terukane infested their way into my brain mostly because they both just so happen to be my favorite type of character design and character archetype (middle part and glasses / absolute wet cat of a man) so them also having a dynamic that makes me both very ill and also jump for joy is (to me) a combo made in heaven.

But I’m picky, especially picky with characterization in fan fiction. And I’m glad that most fics of them are written by people who understand how they behave in-series. Though my biggest fault may be that I love to write but hate the act of writing, so every idea I have is forever locked away in my noggin, I can attempt to get out something here.

Quick note I’m not a weirdo so don’t think I mean anything in any weird way at all, if you do I’ll eat your family. Okay? Okay.

Smitten Teru is probably my favorite out of any characterization of the two, just because I love how it can either be mindrottingly sweet or just ,sad, personally I love going the “kicking feet and giggling” route but both are great in their own regard.

It also might just be that I can’t really see Akane behaving the way he does for Aoi to Teru, a lot of people just kind of move Akane’s unhealthy attachment issues to him without understanding why Akane behaves like that around Aoi in the first place. (I have a whole thing about that) So it’s refreshing to have him, like, not do that.

To add onto that: aloof/repress feelings as hard as possible Akane totally rocks, and I love seeing it. Especially with the “why in the FUCK would I have LIKE someone like that??” kinda shit, rocks me, love it, can’t get enough. God it’s like the only time where cheesy relationship junk doesn’t give me second hand embarrassment, cause like they’re both so unbelievably stupid at relationships, and watching them be awkward and terrible at it really alleviates the whole existential life-or-death stuff happening in the actual manga. Losers in love kills me, and they are just that. GOD I WANT TO THROW THEM OFF A RAVINE

Also, I know a lot of fan fiction does this, but it’s never to the degree that I wish it was. Flustered/embarrassed teru kills me. It always kills me in anything when he just acts like a normal person, just like, expressing normal people emotions but because he’s so repressed it just like kills him. GOD I went through like a six month period of not crying and the moment I did again it felt like I got hit by a bus, could not IMAGINE barely ever crying my whole damn life. A good hard cry, that’s what he needs.

Anyway, I think that’s enough, if I let the brain worms out anymore they’ll form a union and force me to pay them more. Ninja out

[writerblue275]

My favorite LoL skin (with photos) for each Heartsteel member (excluding their Heartsteel/Prestige Heartsteel and Base skins)

So I absolutely adore the Heartsteel skin line, and for Aphelios, Kayn, and Yone, their Heartsteel skins are arguably my favorite skins of theirs (especially Yone’s Prestige Heartsteel skin). HOWEVER. I want to talk about some other amazing skins too. Three of the ones I’ll mention come from the same skin line, but listen, it’s a beautiful line. Also note: These are based on the splash art. I know some of the aesthetics change when translated to a player model. Ok let’s GOOOOO!

Aphelios: Spirit Blossom Aphelios

I love the COLORS of this skin. I love Spirit Blossom Aphelios’ hair design (like damn Phel go off with the man bun/small pony I see you), outfit/accessories, the markings on his face, and how his horns are opposite to Alune’s. (Also can we discuss how Alune also looks so pretty here like omg. I’m so glad they made sure she fit into this as well.) But Aphelios just looks softer than some of his other skins and it’s an interesting vibe from him. I dig it!

Ezreal: Faerie Court Ezreal & Prestige Heavenscale Ezreal.

(Listen I genuinely can’t fucking pick between them so he gets two.)

THE OUTFIT (with all its wing motifs). THE WINGS. THE PINK HAIR. HIS expression!! I love the redesign of his gauntlet as well. Another thing that I really enjoy is how they managed to keep his face markings and make them unique. His face markings are a trademark element of Ezreal’s base skin so I’m glad they kept those here. AHHHHH HE JUST LOOKS SO GOOD. This is just such a fun reimagine for his character.

This might be one of his two newest skins but holy fuck it’s already one of my favs. His HAIR. MY GOD IT’S SO GOOD?? His pose and expression exude so much power and confidence. His gauntlet with the draconic claw and his horns is just so fun. Also that OUTFIT? His outfit genuinely looks amazing. The color combo of light blue, maroon, and gold is just EXCELLENT. Again, they also kept face markings of some kind, even if they moved from his cheeks to his forehead.

Kayn: Snow Moon Kayn

Kayn’s skins are always fun because you really get 3-in-1 with Kayn, his shadow assassin form, and Rhaast. I love a good black and red (with gold accents) theme and the Loki-esque horns, as well as the addition of the furs on his basic Kayn form are really cool. And the shaddow assassin’s hair. My goodness I do love a man with long white hair 😂 (this will appear again later). I love the color contrast between the shadow assassin and Rhaast designs as well. Also Rhaast looks badass. Terrifying, but still badass.

K’Sante: Prestige Empyrean K’Sante

This skin is so fucking cool. We get to see his face here unlike the original Empyrean K’Sante skin. I love the color scheme with the purple, gold, white, and pink as well as the designs on the clothes/his weapons. The little pink on his face also adds a really small but eye-catching detail that I very much enjoy. Also Lil Nas X helped design this skin and I think that’s so fucking cool.

Sett: Spirit Blossom Sett

Ok listen yes a bit of the reasoning for all these is that the characters themselves look fine as fuck. But holy shit look at Sett here. LOVE his long white hair (hehe what did I say it’s a pattern) with his ears here. That outfit and the accessories are stunning. And again the color palette for the spirit blossom line is just so pretty. Sett just looks so in charge and powerful here. He really is the boss. (Also shoutout to the [I believe] first instance of canon SettPhel which happened in the lore/voice interactions for this line.)

Yone: Spirit Blossom Yone

Look at him. LOOK AT YONE. There is something about Yone with longer white hair that is just so…right, even if it’s tied back or braided. All the beautiful shades of purple in his outfit too! I love. I also like how, besides the horns and his hands/arms, he seems almost human and he’s not stuck to his mask like in his base skin (though I do love his base skin). He also just gives off really pleasant vibes in this. I cannot explain it lmao.

These are my thoughts! These are just my opinions, and frankly so many of these champions have so many amazing skins. I’d love to hear your favorites if you have opinions!

[ego-osbourne]

2023 Art Roundup

JAN - FEB - MAR - APR - MAY - JUN - JUL - AUG - SEP - OCT - NOV - DEC

(These aren’t entirely indicative of when I posted them, but when I actually finished them.)

These are some of my biggest/favorite projects through each month!

Piece details + Mod-posting below!

JAN - Asteía ; This was one of my first projects of the year that dealt with lighting, and additionally light from multiple sources! I also remember experimenting with backgrounds and how to make a character pop against a semi-detailed background without making them get lost in the piece.

FEB - Mora and Ego ; This was a good project on figuring out how to fill empty space while still keeping the atmosphere of a piece. It was also good perspective practice!

MAR - Sanguine and Ego ; Though I’m no longer too happy with the proportions or lighting of this piece, I still remember having a blast with it. Hearing feedback about them holding hands and Sanguine’s ear getting squished are very fun memories for me.

APR - Miraak and Ego ; This might be my favorite project of the whole year! Though I know I can do backgrounds better now, I remember being pretty confident and happy during the whole process! I think the motion/lighting/effects all came out very well :] ALSO it was the first piece I did with expressive masks for Miraak and Ego! Wahoo!

MAY - Mora and Ego (again) ; Though the last one was my personal favorite, I heard from a couple of friends that THIS was their favorite. Though a pain in the ASS to do, I’m especially happy with all the texture effects. This was also me experimenting with Mora’s design!

JUN - Erandur ; Not a particularly complicated/difficult piece, but one that was simply pure fun. Had a blast with lighting effects and atmosphere. It was also a good break from the family trip I was taking at the same time ,:]

JUL - Dagon ; Specifically his revamp! This was my first successful attempt at a (very) muscular body type that I liked! In fact, over the course of the year I’ve been pretty proud of my progress of expanding on body types. This one especially, though, was just very fun!

AUG - Iren and Rakell ; My first dive into a colored + shaded animatic (animation? It’s awful choppy lol)! FAR from perfect, but I was (and still am) so happy with the outcome. I particularly remember enjoying figuring out lines of movement and sound effects for the video.

SEP - Sanguine ; My first (and still only, though hopefully not for long) attempt at making Sanguine intimidating. I think this one is going in the right direction! As far as effects go, I actually had a very tough time with things because of a few layer-merging mishaps, but the final product was well-received!

OCT - The Warden ; After many-a night on Minecraft with friends, I realized just how much I loved the warden, and HAD to draw them. Redesigning characters is one of my absolute favorite things to do, especially when taking minimal details and expanding on them! They were super fun all around.

NOV - Miraak, Serana, Ego, and Ancano ; I’d been meaning to draw the siblings being siblings for a while now, but putting them all on one canvas was more than a little intimidating. I was so happy to have it done, though, and I kinda love seeing their colors clash together.

DEC - Sanguine (again) ; After not drawing him for so long, it was a blast doing so. The moment I was back home for winter break, I was ECSTATIC to get to work on this piece. #1 blorbo

~

This year has been an absolute ride.

I became a mod and then co-owner of the TES server that got me into making TDI and have made some really tight friendships over there (genuinely, anyone reading this who is/was in the cult server, I’m so damn happy to know you).

I’ve done some intense progress on TDI, and even though I didn’t QUITE accomplish my New Years Resolution of posting Ch. 1 this year, hopefully you can understand the drawbacks considering I am… //checks notes/// 70+ chapters in and still going.

I’m in college! Have been for a hot second now, but I’ve been working towards a ministry degree, and have future plans of getting a PhD after my bachelor’s so I can teach at a college level! I don’t think I talk a lot about my irl happenings, but hopefully that gives you an idea of why I might be a liiittle busy when it comes to writing. Ministry is an unforgiving degree when it comes to papers and meetings.

As earlier mentioned, I’ve learned how to do different body types, and am trying to find a good balance between shape language and inclusivity when it comes to bodies! I am… still struggling with feminine anatomy! Admittedly! But I’m willing to keep trying ,:]

And, overall, I (certainly hope I have) improved on my art. I have a much better sense of face shapes, line weights, and consistent details than I did at the beginning of the year. Always learning, but always improving, too!

I hope your year has gone well! Thank you so very much for checking out my blog. Tumblr has been a wonderful thing to get into and has led me to a lot of wonderful people. See you in the new year!

[hypaalicious]

Why I think Nocturne is way better than the OG Castlevania series

Sorry, when I try to shut up about this show I be like

so here’s my unsolicited, highly biased word vomit that will contain spoilers at the end (but those will be under a cut) so read at your own risk! Okay, leggo

It’s actually diverse.

One thing about high fantasy is that it’s almost always Eurocentric. Even if it’s not set in Europe, the characters are gonna inexplicably have British accents because we associate that with high fantasy. We’re gonna have European style “old” clothing choices. And if everyone isn’t white, they might as well be because they’ll only throw in a couple ambiguously brown side characters and call it a day. Or if they make a main character a POC then best believe everyone around them will be white.

Nocturne, tho? Oh, you can tell it’s made with more than just a sprinkle of representation. They didn’t just make Olrox indigenous, they tied his Aztec lineage in beautifully. Annette was a slave but it’s not flattening her character because of it. Drolta came to slay but even she has her authentic background. Which leads me to my next point!

The Black characters especially are done tastefully.

Like… don’t get me wrong. I love Isaac. He was the only reason I stayed tuned into Castlevania past season 1, LMAO! But his backstory felt like straight trauma porn cooked up by a non-Black person who wanted an excuse to see a Black man whipped for character development.

Zodwa Nyoni wrote some episodes for Nocturne and she put her FOOT in it. When it came to addressing Annette’s time as a slave, her connection to the Orisha through her bloodline… I was gobsmacked at how accurate everything was and now I know why LOL! Like, for me, it’s always gonna be hard to see slavery in fiction but I can’t say shit bad about how it was tied into everything in this show. Annette’s ancestors play such a huge part in her growth and it just warmed my heart to see a Black girl whoop some colonizer ass without it feeling hamfisted. 🥹

The token relationship is the cishet one, everyone else is gay asf

I love that trope flipped on it’s head, ngl LMAO! I, by default, HC everyone as bi anyway but MAN was it nice to see Olrox and Mizrak speedrun enemies to lovers and a hint of Drolta’s devotion/gayness to Erzsebet.

I know the majority of my fictional character thirsting leans male but don’t get it twisted; I jump for JOY for gay shit in media 😂 The only reason I don’t thirst as hard for female characters is because I prefer my men fictional but my women real.

That being said, this series sent me into bi panic and I’d like to be manhandled in a room by Drolta and Olrox.

Nocturne’s first season plays out neater than the OG’s first season.

Like… okay. My main beef with the OG series was that after they defeated Dracula, the rest of the show felt like a meandering fanfic. Sure, there were a few badass moments, but the energy kinda faltered for me and I was bored with a lot of it. I hope they don’t do the same with Nocturne; they left off at a nice cliffhanger which builds anticipation for the next season and… idk it feels more cohesive already? They coulda speedran kicking Erzsebet’s face in like the OG trio did to Dracula but I’m so glad they left us a lil something to look forward to.

Alucard’s glow up >>>>>

I’m chronically online but I’m so glad I went into this series blind because the way I GASPEDT when he showed up at the end

Like damn for the past fifty-leven years he was in that castle by himself going “do I wanna talk to Sypha and Trevor plushies again or do I wanna make myself even more of a bad bitch?” Then he chose the latter, went to the salon, got his hair bleached platinum along with some sew in extensions for volume, beat his face with Fenty, and said “sorry Drolta but there can be only one vampire baddie on this earth and hunny I’m TAKIN IT”

He looks more like his video game design this way too, which I love! I hate that he took out Cuntress McSlay tho 😔 Drolta I will always love you!!

Mmkay. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to start a cult to Olrox real quick. Erzsebet ain’t the only god walking the earth and I feel he just needs good marketing!

[aguinhaac]

Welp, here we are, the third miraculous special, it has hyped as fuck, we didn’t see the alternative universe, we barely saw the characters everyone hyped, some people thought it was good, some people thought it was bad, but the thing everyone agreed on, was that it didn’t was as good as anyone thought it would be.

But no more talking, let’s do it, today I’ll be reviewing the miraculous special: Miraculous world Paris Tales of Shadybug and Claw Noir

Next time chose a bigger name this ain't big enough-

We start the special with a parody of the intro theme, also they change the animation style, and I am obliged to say, it’s actually good, the lyrics are better than the original theme, because the original intro theme is, let’s say “way to happy” they put a mysterious melody above it in the first seconds and it surprisingly worked.

And the lyrics talk a lot more about change love and hope, WHICH IS WHAT THE ORIGINAL THEME SHOULD TALK ABOUT ISNTEAD OF SAYING “IT’S LADYBUG” FOR HALF OF THE DAMN SONG.

And the new 2D Animation style is extremely pretty, kinda remembers me of miraculous pv, and is another reminder that somethings are better in 2D.

So yeah, good job miraculous team, you did something good, let’s see if you can keep up

(spoiler it didn’t)

And after the lil intro we start, and I really like what they did here.

It starts with a glitchy news article saying that Ladybug and Chat Noir saved everyone again, Gabriel along with Alya asks if this will work, but then Nino shows up running and says that they are coming, and as the roof falls apart and AU Gabriel sends the Akuma (which here are called Kamiko) and kamikotizes Alya.

Betterfly : Ubiquity, I’m Bettefly, I’m giving you the power to connect to the parallel world we have located so we can find help, with this gift I’m exposing you to many parallels and placing a great burden in your shoulders, do you accept it for the greater good?

Alya (AU) : I do.

STOP TALKING THERE’S PEOPLE DYING IN THE STREETS RIGHT NOW AND YOU TWO ARE TALKING LIKE NOTHINGs HAPPENENING, YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO THE 5 YEAR OLDS THAT YOU ARE GOING TO ANOTHER UNIVERSE? WELL MAKE THE AU GABRIEL TELL LADYBUG ALL THAT, THEY ARE GONNA MEET UP LATER, WHY EXPLAIN THIS NOW? IT JUST MAKES THOSE TWO LOOKS LIKE MORONS

And because of that I am not calling you for your real names anymore,

Alya/ubiquity you now will be called Failyla and inability.

And you Gabriel/Betterfly, your name now will be Foolbriel and …. Actually, you super hero name is already stupid.

Anyways even being an old trope, I really like when movies start with the end of the world, its gives kinda a mysterious vibe, it also is a nice way to say that the villains are supper powerful and that the next move of the main character is crucial for the wellbeing of humanity, well that would be if FAILYA AND FOOLBRIEL STOPED TALKING.

Anyways inability transforms and we have this design.

Wait, did I lose something?? Did I blink? What happened? Why is she a ghost now?! No really why doesn’t she has legs? Was the supposed to be a Manta ray or something? Ok if we take of the astonishing colors her design is pretty meh, she’s just a massive cape and a headset, really I rather her old design, yes it doesn’t have the pretty colors but it has more detail, and Alya had legs-

Well, I’ll give her a 6.2/10 it’s ok.

Shadybug and Claw Noir appear trying to be mysterious but they forgot the MLB team already leaked their designs a long time ago and the scene cuts for some well animated intro credits.

We than cut to our Gabriel, just to things don’t get confusing its before Gabriel transforming the miraculous into rings but after the cataclysm, and Gabriel being here now it’s really just for that, so we know which time period is it.

Adrien becomes angstdrien as he had just cataclysmed the guy that tried to kill Paris a billion times, so Plagg gives the worst advice I’ve seen in my life.

Adrien was sad because he was afraid to lose control of his power (which like no? he DID have control over his powers and it was Gabriel who chose to be cataclysmed, but later in season 5 we find out Ladybug told Chat Noir about Chat blanc off scream so I guess it makes sense?)

And Plagg trying to comfort him says “sometimes destroying is the path to build the new”

Adrien was scared to lose control of his powers and hurt people he loves and Plagg tells him that destroying Is the-

We then cut again to Marinette and Alya talking about monarch’s being extremely lucky as Felix got the miraculous in the same day he didn’t want to use his brain so just gave it away from praticaly free-

We also found out that kwamis can turn invisible that… umm kwamibuster? That whole episode wouldn’t have happened if kwamis could turn invisible? That’s why you should write these important details BEFORE publishing a story, but whatev.

I bet all my life savings that this is just here cause in a future episode the writers will pull up a plot armor in the size of my asshole so the heroes don’t get caught.

Alya starts to feel sick and inability comes out of here also making a portal so Betterfly can pass

Betterfly: forgive my intrusion young lady, please don’t be scared, my name is Betterfly, I need someone to lead me to the holders of the miraculous of the Ladybug and black cat.

Uhhhhh, why would she know that? Like Betterfly doesn’t know who she is, in his eyes she’s just a normal ass teenager, how the fuck would a normal ass teenager be able to lead someone to two superheroes? Does he think that the heroes would just leave a gigantic ass outdoor sayin “if someone want to find us we will be at the Eiffel tower from 8pm – 10pm” or something?

Marinette: Ladybug and Chat Noir? But I don’t know how to find them, I don’t know them. I’m just Marinette, a normal girl.

Betterfly: I beg you, please, they’re my last hope

WHY WOULD SHE KNOW? I think the writers really wanted to make Foolbriel stupid, not joking, Shadybug and Claw Noir were able to find his hiding spot, this may be a sign that just like the original Gabriel, he is also a moron.

Inability then gains the original Alya conscience and Betterfly explains that she connected with Alya to open a gate between the worlds.

And like that is some shit power, we saw hawk moth making people be able to pause time, freeze people, make hurricanes, Akumas that are extremely powerful and there’s literally no but to their powers, but with inability he just, couldn’t make both of em be able to stay in this dimension, I’m telling you HE IS A MORON.

For a moment Failya comes and says they are coming so Betterfly takes Marinette away.

And I think it’s just really funny how Betterfly says that they are merciless but then 5 seconds later Claw Noir sends Nino back to his dimension unharmed, like, just actions truly merciless bastards would have.

Shadybug then restrains Alya using Claw Noir’s tail, Claw Noir then cataclysms Marinette’s roof and well done Clawny, self sentered brats like Marinette don’t deserve to have a roof

Betterfly then releases… Failya from the power he gave her

Excuse me what? She has the ability to teleport thro dimensions, if she just controlled her power a little bit THAT’S LITTERALY TELEPORTATION, YOU SAID NO TO TELEPORTATION? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Also, the character that is in every poster barely appears.. Nice.

Alya then transforms back to normal and calls Marinette using her notebook.

While that Shittybug and clown Noir- I MEAN Shadybug and Claw Noir try to find a stupid moron, then Shadybug uses her lucky charm and gets a binoculus that can detect butterfly fare helms, and she already knows what they are and what they do so I guess Shadybug can choose what she gets, this or the writers forgot that Ladybug should find out what the object do.

Betterfly puts Marinette in the Eiffel tower just before his Kamiko appears.

when they showed that Akumas are now Kamikos I thought to myself, hey Akuma is “demon” in Japanese so maybe kamiko means “angel” that would be cool.

So I searched it up and kamiko means ….upper elementary school…

ANYWAYS- they made failya not be a part of this special cause they needed a way for the villains to found the heroes so Shady and Clawny followed Betterfly upper elementary school and found him, this is miraculous, everyone knew from the beginning that at some time the writers would pull out some bullshit to keep the plot going.

Well Claw Noir cataclysms part of the Eiffel tower so both of them fall and Betterfly hides under a wall

The villains say if he doesn’t come out to play, they’re going to destroy the city, so Betterfly comes out and starts fighting the two, also the villains give us some exposition that Betterfly stole the butterfly miraculous and really? WOW, HOW WERE THEY WERE ABLE TO LOSE A MIRACULOUS FOR THIS GUY, THIS GUY, WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR A SECURITY SISTEM? A WATERGUN?

Only now Marinette receives the call Alya gave her two hours ago.

Tikki: they’re the holders of the miraculous of the Ladybug and the black cat from one of the billions of parallel universes in existence.

Ok now we are going to play a new game. Which is called

GUESS WHICH MIDIA THIS WAS COPIED FROM?

a) The MCU

b) Undertale

c) Spiderverse

Also, if Tikki knew that, why didn’t she tell Betterfly he was carrying his last hope? Tikki is an asshole.

Marinette: PARALEL UNIVERSES? Why didn’t you tell me about this?

Oh Marinette, it’s because you live in a multiverse that wasn’t predetermined yet, so just like time travel, kwami powers, people, who gets good or not, and billions and billions of others things, it only became a thing now!

The villains also tell us that they work for “the supreme” and Betterfly stole the miraculous from him.

And we get explained why Shadybug and Claw Noir can use their powers multiple times without transforming back.

It’s because different from the original Ladybug and cat Noir those two are a bit older, making them being able to use it as many times as they want, this age change was foreshadowed in the beginning of the special when it was shown Nino Alya and max helped Betterfly, Betterfly can be an idiot but at least he isn’t irresponsible, he would never get teenagers to help him stop merciless tyrants.

Just kidding lol, actually the younger holders transform back cause using a miraculous doesn’t drain power only for the kwami but for the holder too, so the miraculous comes with a security system that makes them only be able to use it for a limited time because if they stay with it too much it makes the miraculous dangerous, but how shittybug and cloth Noir are using it for EViL they can go through this security system, but beware, as this has terrible consequences we never see.

how only Tikki gets tired after transforming if it drains energy from both of them? how Ladybug can spend how much time she wants with the costume if she doesn’t use the lucky charm as even if the doesn’t use lucky charm the miraculous is still draining her energy? Who knows who cares.

Marinette then transforms.

Betterfly says that it’s not too late, but this isn’t steven universe so SLAhadybug still try to grab his miraculous, but then Ladybug shows up.

Ladybug says that miraculous are supposed to be used for good but again, we are not in steven universe and no one change their mind that easily, so they start fighting.

While they fight SB (Shady bug) is able to throw LB (Ladybug) a wall, and as Betterfly see his last hope has been beated the shit out of he at least will help out the kid.

SB then uses her lucky charm and gets a car which she throws at the heroes.

THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT WHEN I SAY THE VILLAINS ARE TOO KIND.

IF THEY WERE REAL VILLAINS THEY WOULD GET SOMEONE ELSE’S CAR, WHERE’S THE PROPERTY DAMAGE DAMMIT? ALMOST EVERY VILLAIN IN THIS SHOW DESTROYS THE EIFEL TOWER, YOU ARE TRULY MERCYLESS? PROVE IT, SURPRISE ME.

Chat Noir comes out of nowhere to ruin my day as both Chat Noir and Claw Noir has the same first letters and I don’t know how to simplify their names without it getting confusing.

Chat and Claw start fighting but Chat grab Claw and threaten to cataclysm him, but Chat didn’t know that Claw, as a good emo is also depressed as fuck, so Claw grabs Chat’s hand and cataclysm himself and throws Chat into a random roof.

Betterfly then is able to free himself and LB.

LB: enough is enough! The miraculous are not created to cause harm!

Claw Noir: and what makes you so wideous cockrough? You are the superpower police?

LB: LUCKY CHARM

LB: A traffic cone?

oh she really IS the police huh?

As Claw Noir hates laws, he destroys LB’s trafficking cone, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, WITHOUT THE TRAFFIC CONE PEOPLE ARE GONNA HAVE ACIDENTS, EVIL STUFF, WELL DONE CLAW NOIR!

Chat shows up so LB tells they are not Akumatized and that BF (Betterfly) exists. SD then throws high hells at them? bro u a villain DO EVIL STUFF, GET A ROCKET LAUNCHER OR SOMETHING. YOU PARTHNER IS MUCH BETTER THAN YOU AT BEEING EVIL.

Oh she actually got a rocket Laucher, STILL PATHETIC THOUGH

They fight a big more, and as BF can’t do much, he Kamikotizes Chat, and for the first time in 5 seasons, more than 100 episodes, we see how it’s like to be Akumatized.

As time looks like passes slower and his head is stuck in a void, Chat realizes he can’t move, but before he can panic….. a voice… a whisper…

“Celestic cat, I’m Betterfly”

With a voice as gentle as a million butterflies,

no.. NO… GET OUT OF MY HEAD

“do not worry as I’m not your enemy”

It feeds you with pretty lies

NO! I WON’T FALL FOR YOUR TRICKS

“I am not your enemy, I only want to trust you with the power to save us”

I can’t know if you’re telling the truth… I don’t even know you

“I only work for the greater good, just like you celestic cat”

“do you accept this gift I am offering you?”

……….I- I do.

Is this really how this scene plays out? No. I just wanted to set a darker tone before I show you the “celestic chat”

The first time I watched this, I started stared laughing uncontrollably for a good minute, I didn’t knew what to say or what to think, as I was dying only one think was in my mind, what the fuck?-

WHO MADE THIS? I CAN’T BELIVE A HUMAN WOULD BE ABLE TO DO THIS, THEY DIDN’T TRY AT ALL, THEY JUST TOOK CAT BLANC AND PUTTED WINGS ON IT, THIS A FUCKING WATPAD FANFIC, IS LADYBUG GONNA ACTIVATE HER PTSD OF CHAT BLANC AND FALL ON CHAT’S ARMS TOO? Not only the whole concept of the episode is a big fanfic but now even the FUCKING CHARACTERS. I won’t even say anything about the character desing man, just fuck off.

celestial joke than grabs LB and BF and then flies aways, but SB uses lucky charm and gets sunglasses so she used her yoyo to hang on celestial joke’s tail, CJ (celestial joke) sees this and try to shake her off, considering that LB and BF are also there that’s a great idea because they deserve to fall off a 200 meters fall-

SB then trades the sunglasses for a fire Laucher but LB uses a thing called brain and just unbuttons Chat’s belt.

SB falls to her death as Claw Noir just watches it eating some popcorn, he then tries to grab SB miraculous but she wakes up and grab him.

Back to the morons, they go to the sewers cause why not? where CJ detransforms for some reason? Like he is a joke BUT WHAT THE FUCK? YOU CAN FLY! WHY WOULD YOU DETRASFORM?

Anyways Gabriel talks for the billionth time to his dead wife but he feels the best duo of the show fighting so its Akumatization time baby!

However, Claw still has the cataclysm so he cataclysms the Akuma and both calm down.

They then go back to Marinette’s broken room, Alya hides and they start looking for clues to why the portal was there of all places.

The scene then cuts to LB and Chat detrasforming and like. they both have the same identities even if in different worlds, they why don’t BF just tells them his identity? Ok I’ll give the benefit of the doubt, maybe he doesn’t know about monarch.

Anyways BF talks a bit about his world, there is an extremely powerful man who owns all the miraculous and so they set up a dictatorship where there’s nothing but hate. Ok they copied it from north Korea got it. Anyways he gave out some miraculous to powerful people who were loyal to him. But then Foolbriel steeled two miraculous to get Emely back, so to redeem himself he now is a good guy.

The scene cuts again to SB and Claw who are still in Marinette’s bedroom, SB finds Mari’s diary and start reading some of it, also discovering in the process that she is Ladybug, as she read more and more, she can’t help it but cry, but then she found out about what happens if someone has both the Ladybug and black cat miraculous.

Shadybug then uses her lucky charm and gets handcuffs, she than restrains Claw and take his miraculous, discovering who he was, and the Tumblr goes crazy once again as AU Adrien has a crush of AU Marinette.

Au Marinette reveals Plagg and Tikki and tries to use Gimmi but it glitches out, which makes her be thrown in the wall breaking the mirror

Sabrine: Marinette? Is everything all right?

Au Marinette: YEAH WHATEVER JUST, GET OF MY BACK

Sabrine: are you sure you’re ok sweetheart?

Au Marinette: YES, I’M OK I’M…. sorry mommy dear I just dropped my sawing machine, but it’s fine is just… slightly damaged

Sabrine: don’t worry sweetie we will take care of it! Broken things can always be fixed.

ok let’s say what it’s on everyone’s mind for a long time, we all would rather watch this other version of miraculous, the characters are more charismatic and realistic, the world seems more interesting, the world seems more interesting, there is an actual threat cause Foolbriel doesn’t have the power to fix everything, it is just way better than to watch two teenagers in a will they won’t they relationship for more than 100 episodes.

anyways au Marinette transforms back take off the handcuffs from au Adrien and gives back his miraculous, au Marinette starts crying and Claw tries to comfort her but it doesn’t work for obvious reasons.

Claw: how come the supreme never told us that merging our kwamis would grand us any wish we wanted?

Shady: For the same reason he never told us that using our powers would slowly destroy us.

Like, no? were 27 minutes in and you didn’t show any sign of being sick, like they now have some cracks in their necks but I think that if you’re getting every single inch of energy being drained out of your body it would do more than giving you some crack stickers.

Monarch shows up and the two try to attack him with no result cause of the determination miraculous, and also, I think it’s really funny cause, SD activates her lucky charm and gets a sword to attack him, but it doesn’t work cause he has the miraculous of determination, yet in the episode “determination” Manipula gets beaten cause of a chandelier, consistence.

Well, the duo team up with monarch and for some reason Alya starts filming it to show it to Marinette, like why? WHY WOULD SHE STOP WHAT SHE’S DOING TO SEE A VIDEO? IT’S NOT HARD TO BELIEVE THEY WOULD TEAM UP WITH MONARCH, YOU’LL JUST WASTING TIME.

Actually, I lied, SHE DIDN’T SENT THE VIDEO OR A MESSEGE, SHE CALLED HER INSTEAD, BECAUSE THAT WILL TOTALLY WORK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SHOW?

Alya trying to compete who is the stupidest with Betterfly screams around for Ladybug and then shows the video, instead of you know, JUST TELLING HIM THE PLAN WHICH WOULD NOT WASTE SO MANY TIME.

Well, monarch’s plan is to make SD and Claw noir illusions to force the heroes to split up and then get em, LB however starts having a panic attack, but Chat comforts her because after season 4 the writers really need to shove up that he is not a sociopathic maniac.

Well LB makes a plan which is, they will get out of Paris so monarch wont mess with their plans, and Betterfly will Kamikotizes Alya in uniquity, so he will HIDE HIS IDENTIRY AND GIVE LADYBUG THE BUTTERFLY MIRACULOUS SO SHE CAN CREATE AN KAMIKO TO PROTECT THEM AND HIDE THE KAMIKO ELSEWHERE.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, if this show made the least bit of sense, BF would show his identity SO THEY CAN STOP ALL THE SUFFERING OF THE PEOPLE OF PARIS.

Anyways they perform their little plan and we see Ladybug with both the butterfly and Ladybug

Ok we have some weak material here.. first of, this shade of purple doesn't go along with ladybug's neon red, I don't know if it was Purposeful but this black detail around her neck highlights her boobs a lot

They didnt even change her mask, they put some purple highlights and that's it, it's just kinda sad, I saw 10 year olds drawing something better than this.

Ok positives, I think her gloves are extremamly pretty and complement well her desing, the ladybug things in her hair are cool I guess.

I am really trying but this desing is overall just lazy, just like most original designs of this special really, well 4.5/10 lady fly really? Her name is ladyfly? LADY FUCKING FLY?

obviously, monarch Dekamikotizes uniquity but that was part of LB’s plan as she and Chat plays to pretend they didn’t knew about the illusion stuff, so monarch creates a portal for the evil duo and Claw and Chat Shady and lady start fighting, monarch also fuses with the bee the rat and the rooster miraculous, turns himself invisible and tries to paralyze Chat and LB, because of the powers of the Kamiko instead of paralyzing the monarch copies turn to feathers, now the butterfly is more powerful then the bee? Ok then I guess.

Monarch undoes the clones and quickly realizes it’s a trap, LB then activates her lucky charm which is a mirror, SB then accidently reveals that she read Mari’s diary and that her life sucks, LB uses the ‘we are not so different’ but it obviously doesn’t work, and SB reveals that Chloe made her suffer every day until the supreme came, Astruc, Chloe is already out of the show, COULD YOU STOP DEMONIZING HER FOR 5 SECONDS? Also, that would not be enough to make someone into a villain, don’t get me wrong bullying is horrible, I myself was a victim of bullying and I know how bad it feels, but WHAT THE FUCK THE CHLOE OF THIS WORLD DID? DID SHE KILLED MARINETTE’S GRANDMA OR SOMETHING?

Well, Marinette detransforms thinking that somehow this will help,

The scene then cuts to Chat and Claw fighting and there’s a joke that they argue if cats like water, just quality comedy.

Well Claw reveals that he wants Chat’s miraculous to make a wish and bring his mom back which is better, “my mom died so now I’m evil” then “oh noo, Chloe ruined my favorite pants, now I’m willing to kill people”

Marinette: if you read my diary then you know, it’s not all that easy, everything often hangs by a thread, I too was very angry, I too was hurt, I too was scared, and I still struggle with it every day, you don’t need any magical jewel, powers didn’t change my life, I changed the way I saw myself, I decided to love myself, to love the world around me, and I decided I could fix what’s wrong with it, and I’m sure if you change the way you see yourself, and your world, you will be able to fix what’s wrong with it too, just like I do here every time, you can fix it all.

Ok I need to say, the way they copied steven universe so well surprised me, like you got the rushed redemption arc for someone who didn’t deserve, u got the main character completely ignoring the other character problems so they can say “don’t worry I can fix you” you got the main character thinking they struggles were similar even if one was extremely more serious than the other, it really looks like steven universe, I thought when Marinette stopped monologuing, she would start singing change.

Ok being serious now, this is just another exemple of how Marinette is an ashole, she acts like their problem is similar but it isn’t, au Marinette lives in a dictatorship, we see how their Paris is in the first seconds, and look how it is

Red clouds, destruction, fear, the characters say multiple times, things in their dimension are not good

SB: IN THE WORLD THAT I’M FROM, THERE ARE NO AWESOME GIRL FRIENDS TO INSPIRE ME EVERYDAY, NO AMAZING BFF LET ALONE A CALM AND GENTLE MOTH OR A BOY FRIEND WHO DOSEN’T THINK I’M A TOTAL LOSER!

BF: Your world is so different is so beautiful, you help each other you are partners, in mine any form of neutral aid is a crime

SB: no wish will save us.

BF: in my world I’m hunted relentlessly, no one believes in heroes, everyone is afraid of the supreme

Shady bug lives in somethings that is almost a north Korea, she’s trying to escape from her world, so she can be happy, it’s not as simple as Marinette makes it to be, Shady never had someone to be there for her, that’s why when the supreme helped her she immediately started working for him, in her world “love” isn’t a thing, I hate how Marinette put Shady’s problems like it’s something not so hard to resolve and like she knows what real suffer means, “it’s not all that easy, everything often hangs by a thread, I too was very angry, I too was hurt” yes, Marinette’s life wasn’t perfect, but it was 100 times better than Shady’s, but the writers want to make Marinette be the great hero of everything, even in situations she can’t be, you know who would be better to help Shady? Failya, au Nino, au max, people who actually know what she’s going through, God even fucking Betterfly would be better at helping her then Marinette, but the writers instead just want to make her an amazing person, and really that’s one of the main causes of a bad redemption arc, the character who needs to be changed, gets changed by someone who can’t change them.

But after this bullshit we have Chat and Claw, which really, again is rushed and not deserved, but I think the writers did the best they could do.

Adrien: I know you, you know?

Claw: no, you don’t! don’t pretend to be me, or else you wouldn’t be friends with a cockroach, if you were me your mother would also be-

Adrien: she is…

Claw: what?..... if you knew about the wish, why haven’t you tried it?

Adrien: I won’t tell you that I never thought about it, of course I thought about it, but.. everything comes at a price, if my mother came back

Claw: OUR mother

Adrien: if we brough our mother back, someone else would have to lose theirs, and that I can’t wish on anyone.

Adrien: I managed to go on living, trying to be happy as she wanted me to, I have my friends to comfort me, I’m ok now, as well as I can be anyway, it must be painful for someone who doesn’t have close friends, or anyone to comfort them,

Claw: Someone, but me?

Adrien: Only you can decide not to be alone.

Adrien: I can tell you about my friends from this world, you should meet them in yours, you’ll probably get along, take Nino for example.

Claw: Nino? I don’t think he will wanna be buddies with me considering how I treated him.

Adrien: he’s the most understanding person I know, just apologize and invite him to the movies, his favorite film is called space mutants vs ghost shark.

Claw: ha it sounds terrible.

Adrien: let’s say it’s the movie with the most improbable storyline I’ve ever seen.

Claw: and yet… you’re really making me wanna watch it.

This is why, even if Chat Noir is a useless selfish crybaby, even if Adrien in season 4 was the biggest asshole I’ve ever seen, even if in season five he is horrible, I still don’t hate him, for these little moments, where he shows that he is a good person.

He says that he thought multiple times of using the wish to bring his mom back, but never did because he knew it would take someone else mom away, it makes him feel real, as he thought about it but he didn’t want to make someone suffer so he could be happy.

He says “I’m ok now, as well as I can be anyway” showing that he’s telling Claw that even if he’s able to move on, it will still hurt, not like Marinette who says that everything is gonna be fine just so Shady stop fighting, he is truly opening his heart with Claw.

When he says “it must be painful for someone who doesn’t have close friends, or anyone to comfort them” it shows that Adrien knows Claw has gone through worse than him, and yet he still wants to help the best he can.

He slowly tries talking that claw doesn’t need to be alone, changing his tone but not making it about himself, but when claw feels Nino could never forgive him, Adrien gives him some tips of what to do.

And for last, Adrien is someone that knows better than Marinette what their villain contra part is feeling, so he is capable of helping him, or at least trying.

That’s why I like Adrien, most of the time he’s on scream it feels like he’s not perfect but he’s trying to do good.

This scene alone, gives this character that has been nothing but an asshole, a moment so the audience remember what made them fall in love with him for the first time, the fact that he Is trying.

But then came re- creation and ruined this touching moment cause Emelie is alive, yeeey

Fuck you miraculous team.

Well SB uses a miraculous Shadybug fixing everything and apparently changing her custom as well.

Shadybug and Claw Noir change personalities completely cause, why make have the same personality but make it obvious they are trying to change. when you can just copy paste the personalities of the two main heroes in them amirite?

They also pick other names cause toxinelle and griffe Noire are kinda cringe.

Shadybug: hmm, I’ll call myself Ladybug, the best there is.

Yeah, writers make her give up her identity just to be like someone she admires instead of being her own person, WHAT A GREAT MESSENGE TO TEACH KIDS. FUCK YOU

Well Betterfly Kamikokitizes Alya, while that, monarch fuses with the rooster and for some reason he receives a feather and he has to write what power he wants? Ok, if you say that now the rooster powers activate like this who am I to question?

Monarch asks for having access for any other dimension, wait but wouldn’t that be a wish? Destruction says “if the user wanted a pair of socks, that would be a wish, but if the user wanted to knit a pair of socks, that would be an ability” that’s why you don’t let things so vague, PEOPLE WILL GET CONFUSED.

Well inability fells something is off and Ladybug realizes it is monarch, so bettefly dekamikokitizes Alya and Kamikokitizes Ladybug who becomes

HATSU NIMIKU?

Well monarch goes to a universe where scarabella and shitty Noire are the heroes cause the miraculous animators don’t have enough budget to make more character models, so he tries

Don’t play with my feelings like this… you son of a bitch.

Well, he also tries a manga one but then…

Wait.. I thought that what was going on was that Gabriel was jumping from universe to universe and the original LB was following him, but apparently not? If lady noire is here that means all universes where a Marinette is a main hero, they become hatsu nimiku. But who would be Kamikotizing them? is the show trying to tell us that this au jumping betterfly shady and claw did happen to all universes? But that also must mean there are thousands of monarch’s jumping from universe to universe, and now he knows that he can jump through multiverses he can just wait for all betterflies to leave to their Aus and thousands of ladybugs and chat noirs will have to fight alternative universes monarchs, and because the ladybugs aren’t cosplaying hatsu nimiku anymore they won’t have the power to send them back, there will be thousands of monarchs running around and no one will be able to do anything as just MONARCH’S can teleport through dimensions, and if that happens the multiverse will become a fucking caos because the writers don’t see that this IS FUCKING STUPID.

Gabriel gives up and never tries this actually good idea ever again, and the 3 idiots fuck of to their dimensions, I’m done, I don’t wanna talk about this episode anymore I’M FUCKING DONE.

Ok, this special is bad but it doesn’t hurt me THAT much, the characters are morons, you don’t feel the villains are a threat, and the fact that they change their minds so fast doesn’t help, talking about the redemption arc, they are hiporitical saying that shady and claw can change because they suffered so they deserve to be forgiven but chloe, who's also a teenager who suffered, but didn't do not even close to what shady and claw must have done, is just a heartless monster, the special feels so out of place sometimes, like it should have been in an earlier season, the writers pull up the most nonsensical things just to keep the plot going, and characters that people hyped don’t have not nearly enough screentime, the special was supposed to be “what if the butterfly was used for good” but we don’t see much of betterfly using his powers, almost all the new hero designs are lazy, they just put more work on the ones they saw they could do merch of it( cause if you don't know there's already merch)

overall, it isn’t painfully bad like most episodes of season 5 but it is not good either, you need to turn off your brain to enjoy it, and there would be no problem on it, cartons that you just turn off your brain and enjoy are not something bad, the thing is miraculous is trying to be a deep story, but it fails. Well, I’ll give the special a 6/10 whatev.

Thanks for reading until the end, I’ll see you in the next post.

[insertdisc5]

Devlog #8: QA and Q&A

(all the screenshots i have left are spoilers. while i take more, have a meme)

Hello everyone! Welcome to this month’s devlog!

If you just stumbled upon this, I am Adrienne, also known as insertdisc5! I’m the developer, writer, artist, main programmer, etc of the game. The game being In Stars and Time, which is the next and final game in the START AGAIN series, following START AGAIN: a prologue (available here!).  You can find out more about In Stars and Time here!!! 

LET’S GET TO IT

With the game’s alpha finished, I didn’t do anything much worth talking about this month. QA is underway! I’m fixing bugs! I’m writing changelogs that say stuff like “At the hallway before that one room, getting to the edge 2+ times wont softlock anymore if you do it between the wall and a column”!!!! I’m also resting because September was a LOT!!! 

So, since I have very little to say, I asked people on Twitter to ask me questions, so I could answer them. Q&A time!

@ItsMeLilyV asks:

1. I really have been in love with monochrome & limited palette styles recently :3 How did you figure out the art style for ISAT? Are there any distinct challenges or walls you've run into? 

2. did you get to take any good naps. how would you rank the naps on a 10-pt scale

1. The TLDR is: it’s more fun to draw in black and white. And it’s faster. And it looks cool as hell!!!

I did run into some challenges especially when it came to UI- how do you draw the eye of the player to a selection, or something they need to interact with, when you can’t use an eye-catching color to draw them in?!? I ended up relying a lot on level design to do that… And animations, too, especially in the House where everything is frozen! Keeping a very limited palette also helps, I think I mostly used black, white, and maybe 5 shades of grey in between… It’s all about contrast! And not having a big muddy grey mess!!!

2. I got some good naps in, yeah. I’m a big fan of naps after lunch, so I eat, wait for the sleep to kick in, and sleep for 2-3 hours. Solid 8/10 naps. That’s heaven babes!!!

@gertritude asks:

I am curious about what your writing process is for the game!! Like, what is your planning process (if you have one) and how do you approach actually writing for it?

My writing process… It’s a little all over the place to be honest! 

I had the big strokes of ISAT figured out from beginning to end before I even finished the prologue, but then I had to really sit down a bunch of times and really figure out how to get from point A to point B. So it involved a lot of writing, and also rewriting, to Foreshadow some Cool Stuff. Also, early on I was really struggling with some plot points, so I sat down for a whole day and wrote down the entire plot from beginning to end, and tried to get really granular and write down those middle point A to point B things! If I didn’t know what would happen I just invented something on the spot! As long as the whole story was written!!! It took a while, but I’m really glad I did this, because this saved me a lot of time later on hehe

Apart from the big plot events, the smaller events that are conversations between the characters usually just come out of nowhere, like “ok I have a table here and I put cookies on it. How would everyone react?”. I try to strike a balance between “this is how people talk” and “does it say anything new about those characters”, whether it’s a character’s favorite food, or a nice foreshadowing moment that you’ll reread later and go “OH DAMN… ALL ALONG THIS WAS HERE…”

My big go-to technique to actually write is that every day 1. I decide I’m going to work for 15mn and I start a timer 2. I put my headphones on 3. I start my concentrate playlist, which is full of instrumental electro/dubstep/wub wub adjacent music 4. ????? 5. Writing accomplished. The 15mn goal is just because it’s easy to write for 15mn. I always write for longer, but I just need to get started with an easy goal!

@_blade0fgrass_ asks:

Is it hard coming up with such immaculate puns

I would like to thank punpedia from the bottom of my heart. And also google. Thanks punpedia thanks google!

@kayleighdotjpeg asks:

keeping spoilers in mind, who are your favorite characters to write? which character dynamics are your favorite? did any of them surprise you?

This is THE question. Thank you so much. 

I loved to write Siffrin (especially when they’re all depressed teehee), but Odile ended up being my Actual Favorite to write. Most characters are either 1. Full of secrets or 2. Pushovers and/or oblivious, so it’s very nice to have Odile be the one to say “Alright, enough of this. We will talk about the elephant in the room Right Now”. She’s very blunt and doesn’t care about anything and she is so useful as a plot device and I love her.

Siffrin and Odile is my favorite dynamic, followed closely by Siffrin and Loop! As for surprising character dynamics, I reaaaaally enjoyed writing Odile and Isabeau… I didn’t get to write them often, but they are so fun to write together. Please ask me this question again once the game comes out so I can say more.

@novvclutchmate asks:

How do you go about finding a balance between levity and seriousness? Would you say your story tips more in one direction than the other; if so, was it on purpose and why?

What a good question! Hmm, for me and my writing style personally, it’s less about finding a balance, and more that One Cannot Exist Without The Other. It’s like adding sweetness to a savory dish- adding them together elevates the whole thing!!! 

If I have a serious scene, I like to add some levity to kind of bring the characters back to earth. I don’t know about you, but when I have a serious conversation for too long, I automatically laugh or tell a joke to break the tension! I get uncomfortable when it’s too serious! It’s normal! I’m normal!!!! It’s also a way for the audience to breathe out- don’t worry player, we’re good! We’re back to the usual stuff! Plus, I find that funny scenes right after a serious emotional scene hit harder.

As for seriousness to levity, I think it’s fun when you have a funny slice of life scene and then the story reminds you that this scene is Serious Actually. Like having everyone talking happily and the narrator saying  “it makes you sad when your friends keep repeating the very same lines every time.” :)

ISAT tips more towards levity I’d say, because of the reasons listed above! If you’re used to funny cute scenes and then I give you a Serious Emotional scene it makes you go Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

@gala_ksyz

is there any words youd like to tell aspiring/young indie devs?

Just make the dang thing!!! Stop putting it off!!! Just do it!!! Buy a simple game maker thing like rpgmaker or renpy or whatever and make the thing!!! Yes it’ll take time!!! Yes it won’t be as good as you imagined in some ways!!! Yes making games is hard!!! But you gotta just do it!!! It’ll be so much better than you imagined in other ways!!! It’ll be real!!! You’re the only one who can make it!!! It’s yours!!! It comes from your heart!!! It IS your heart!!! No one else can make it but you!!! So just make the dang thing!!! I believe in you!!! JUST MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s all I have to say for today! Let me know if you have any questions, or if there’s any aspect of the game development struggle you’d like me to talk about! See you next time!!!

AND DON’T FORGET TO WISHLIST THE GAME ON STEAM ALSO IT REALLY HELPS BECAUSE STEAM’S ALGORITHM IS MORE LIKELY TO SHOW OFF GAMES WITH A HIGH AMOUNT OF WISHLISTS THAT’S THE REASON WHY GAME DEVS ALWAYS ASK TO WISHLIST!!! OKAY BYE!!!!

[sentienceisoverrated]

Things I miss about old tv shows:

1. Set Designs

One thing I miss most is actual tangible set designs. There used to be a handful of sets that would get used time and time again, and the characters actually interacted with them. Sets now look so damn clinical and clean, characters barely interact with them (mostly because half of all sets are almost entirely CGI) and they barely change over the course of a season or episode. Reflect your characters’ mental states by their rooms. Make them messy, dirty, have characters comment on the state of certain sets. Come on make them UNIQUE. And not in the way of just the objects either, make them unkempt or overflowed and mix up the lighting a bit.

2. Actual Episodic Structure

Most TV shows I’ve watched that came out in the last few years have had a continuous plot. Which is great. It makes me invested in the story, makes me excited for the next episode. But unless done correctly, it can feel like nothing was actually achieved in those episodes. Often it comes that a character spends the entire episode trying to do something, only for their plan to unravel right at the end of the episode and the next episode to be set up. It makes me feel like nothing was actually completed. Every episode is designed to set up for the next one and in some cases this works, but in others it doesn’t. An episodic structure is where each episode has its own individual storyline that may or may not add to the overall plot. Avatar: The Last Airbender used this structure, as did the Star Trek series (excluding season 2~ of Discovery) and BBC Merlin. A structure like this adds considerably more to character development and subsequent relationships between characters before moving on to more plot-driven antics, which in turn raises the stakes.

3. Fantasy Lighting

This, I believe, is self-describing. TV shows are too dark. I can’t see. Even if you want to establish how dark a setting is, there is still usually a source of light that a character is holding. It’s enough to make us actually see what’s going on, so let us. Please. And, anyway, it’s fiction. Doesn’t have to always be 100% realistic.

4. Filler Episodes

This comes in tandem with episode numbers. I do understand that in production the creators don’t have much time to film and edit before release. But. Where did the 20 episode seasons go? A lot of series are being released half-and-half, but even if it’s weekly, most people I know would be fine with it as long as each episode is produced to the best of the ability of the creators. I also miss fillers. Give me those character shenanigans. No plot, just pure antics. Those episodes keep me alive.

4. CGI Consistency

I will always maintain the opinion that good CGI relies on how consistent its quality is throughout a film, season or episode. Personally, I don’t care how good the CGI is so long as it remains relatively the same level throughout what I’m watching. I see this a lot in recent tv shows *cough* marvel *cough* where one scene will have the most spectacular CGI ever seen and another looks more like a low-budget animated kids show. It breaks immersion. I’m not into it. Just give me bad CGI all the way through. Or, on contrast, no CGI whatsoever. Construct scenes using actual corporeal sets and makeup. I miss funky little puppets.

(Note: this is opinion based. Feel free to agree or disagree, add or remove. I won’t contend)

[dinolich]

Hi! Congrats on Hellaween, I’ve been a big fan of the characters since they were first designed and it was so cool to see their journey from the shorts to starring in a full length graphic novel.

I wanted to ask about how you felt transitioning into working with a publisher. Did you find yourself thinking about or handling the characters and story in a different way compared to before? What did you take away from the experience?

For anyone new here, I’ve been working as storyboard artist for tv and film for almost a decade and these characters have been on the sidelines since my first studio internship in 2014. When I started figuring out my footing, I started putting pitches together for shorts programs that went nowhere and doing short comics before seriously pitching for a series around 2019… but obviously the last few years have been rough in the world and also rough for the animation industry. So when my editor found me on twitter and proposed the idea of a graphic novel I jumped on it. Nobody wants to make original shows or features without existing IP so I guess I’ll make the damn thing before I try again to make the damn thing, and if the second part never happens I have a book that’s 100% mine.

The switch felt pretty natural, I’ve always had a fondness for making comics. The hardest part was easily writing the damn thing. I have a good sense of storytelling and character from my years as a board artist, but actually putting words on paper is not something I’ve ever done outside of a couple class assignments and I’ve never had the chance to work on board driven shows (where the board artist also writes the episode) One of the big reasons I wanted to make a show was to hire actual writers and designers, talented people I could DIRECT. But i’ve learned I’m much better at writing than I give myself credit for, which is a nice thing to find out. But yeah turns out if you want to make your OWN comic you have to do every part of the process (unless you hire someone or have a partner, thank you Tory Harris for coloring Hellaween) compared to animation where I never have to do a finished illustration or design a background.

With my day job I’m eternally thankful I’m doing traditional publishing and not going indie. My editor is great and I would never have the patience to handle printing, promotion, distribution on my own. Hellaween would not be possible with out that support.

I’m also still working full time in animation, so time management and regular exercise are essential or your back will go shrimp mode and your brain will turn into goop.