#I’m going to keep making posts until I convince someone to read this book lol!

[nat-seal-well]

So I'm dying to ask nosy questions about Villain!Nat... Do you think she'd still be part of Unit Bravo and just biding her time til she can act out her plans? Or would she have been a rogue element the whole time? Would she and Ava have any kind of personal rivalry (sexy or otherwise) or just be obstacles in each other's paths? 👀

I’m sorry it took me so long to reply to this, haha, but I spent the entire last half of my shift thinking about it and realized it was gonna be too long just to write it all in a post, so I had to make a document and then copy/paste it over lol.

I don’t think she’d be part of UB (but can you imagine how much fun it would be if she was? Just waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and keeping up the façade…)

Villain!Nat would work better as more of a rogue, I think. I can see her being mostly on her own ever since her turning. Imagine: never being found by the Agency after the massacre on The Queen’s Sabre, never really being guided or taught by anyone other than the vampire who turned her, and then being set loose. 

It would all come down to that whole “nature vs. nurture” thing. A lot of who you are is shaped by the environment around you.

She’d never have had the support she received in the canon. There’d still be a lot of her personality that’s the same; she’d have a love for reading and collecting old books, she’d still be a little old-fashioned as time went on, etc. She’d just be more like the vampires in the traditional books, reclusive in some grand, old home out in the middle of nowhere. 

She’d also still be capable of love and affection and her usual overprotectiveness… she just wouldn’t be aware of it for a very, very long time. And in the moments where it’s staring her down, she’d hide it away and lock it up. 

Ava and Nat would have a rivalry (sexy, of course, because there isn’t much that’s hotter than the intimacy of being sworn enemies. The combat scenes would be gorgeous. Also, it would hurt to watch… which means it would be even more fun, haha :) )

Naturally, Ava would make it more difficult for Nat to ignore her emotions, lol. And she wouldn’t understand them a lot. She’d end up deciding that “hate” is the way she feels, because there isn’t any way it could be love. That’s impossible. Natalie Sewell doesn’t love people. Right? So loathing has to be what it is. 

I’m a sucker for anything poly so consider: throwing the Detective into the mix. It would be like a much, much darker take of the LT route, haha.

Maybe she hears some rumors about the vampire who’s going around killing humans who have a very special blood mutation, and she gets curious. She’s a collector, after all, and a human with blood like that would be priceless and a very good addition to her collection. We already know there’s someone leaking Agency info, so maybe she finds out that way? Probably not until after the events of book one.

So she follows after UB. Naturally, Ava has a suspicion they’re being watched, because she and Nat know each other better than they know themselves. Of course she catches on very, very quickly, but does her best to keep it under wraps. Easier to keep an eye on her that way. 

We also all know how good Nat is at lying and wearing masks. It’d be easy to convince the Detective she’s someone they can trust, especially after they've been thrown headfirst into the supernatural world without any real say in the matter. Nat would be drawing them in under the guise of stealing them away, only to discover–to her horror–that they intrigue her far more than they should. Only… this confuses her. Because the Detective makes her feel the same way Ava does, and there’s no way she can hate them. 

Que an emotional journey full of inner turmoil as Nat tries to come to terms with the fact that she’s capable of softer feelings, after all. And that she might not be so cold-hearted as she thinks. I imagine it would be very long and very painful, because she has three centuries of habits and beliefs (lies that someone hammered into her brain) to unlearn. She’d be fighting it every single step of the way, all while trying to keep it hidden. 

Villain!Nat would be more obsessive, just because I think it’d be a nice touch. Especially as she’s forced to face the truth: that she’s falling in love with her adversary of three hundred years, and a human, of all things. How terrifying. 

As much as I love angst and hurt, it would come to a happy ending. Eventually. Everyone loves a redemption arc, right? I don’t know how it would all come to a head. Maybe in the middle of a battle, maybe while facing down other rogues, and she realizes she might very well lose the two people who mean the most to her. 

Y’know how in ATLA, the gang kind of adopts Zuko? Imagine that, but with UB, haha.

Sorry, lol. This is probably way longer and way more detailed than you wanted, but I’m a sucker for any and all kinds of AUs and this was so much fun. Thank you, friend! You made the last four hours of my shift way more enjoyable, haha <3

[captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship]

i love gwynriel and your answers are really convincing. but I'm confused why the hell Sarah put Azriel having some kind of involvement with Elain if gwyn and Az ended up together in the end. because we can't deny that there's something between Elain and Az, there's interest on both sides, even though it might not be simple, there's something lol. but I still don't know who Az will stay with? I don't have an opinion on that. sometimes I think Az and gwyn are endgame, other times I think they didn't get together and there might be someone else for him and someone else for gwyn, obviously. i find azriel so confusing, sarah doesn't give a lot of hints about him, it pisses me off because i love him so much. Also, I'm so sad that there is so much hate on gwyn and Elain because of the ships, if Sarah didn't put azriel with either of them, it would be a war 😂 Sarah is sharing opinions I'm scared of what she's going to do lol

This got a little long, sorry I just digressed 😅

Honestly, I was an e/riel until I read ACOSF (so I guess a total of like a week?) I thought that the whole breaking the bond to be with someone you loved thing was romantic. I thought their aestetic was cute, if not overplayed a hit. But honestly, SJM gives us a lot of clues in ACOSF to show Elain will not stay in the NC and ultimately won’t be with Az. I truly believe that ACOSF put the nail in the coffin for e/riel as endgame. However, it is important for both Az and Elain individually.

1) Az does NOT respect Elain or view her as an equal. She wanted to help with the dread trove and the moment she left the room he went against her decision. She wants to do more with her life, but the entire IC EXCEPT FOR HER MATE underestimates her.

2) Az confesses he has never thought of Elain past sexual fantasies. “He hadn’t gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to.” This is again him just seeing her as a sexual object and not as an equal. 

3) throughout the bonus chapter, Azriel is CONSTANTLY saying how wrong his feelings for Elain are. The shadows tell him to go to bed because they knew Elain was waiting up for him. I’m sorry, but THAT IS NOT HEALTHY. Forbidden love is the WRONG trope for Azriel. There is a great post by @lunainfortuna linked here that goes into it with my commenting there. There is another great post by @acourtofthought that talks about the negative emotions in the BC here

4) Azriel would stifle Elain's growth in the guise of protection (as we have seen in ACOSF by not respecting her choice behind her back) and Elain will appease Azriel (as she does with her sisters) to keep the peace and allow him to do what Nesta did especially if she notes he gets upset whenever she wants to help even if it puts her at risk (call back to how he was overprotective with Mor to the point she feels guilty about making a decision on her own knowing it will upset him). That's not a couple that would compliment each other's growth or challenge each other. Neither will pull the other out of their shell and this is something I think both Azriel and Elain need because everyone around them is happy to let them be in their own head for too long.

5) Aesthetics and being nice to each other does not warrant a long-term stable and equal relationship when we actually look at them as characters and their personality and actions. Azriel, like Nesta, speaks for Elain even if he thought he was thinking in her best interests but those "best interests" are clouded by his desperation for a mate and his jealousy of Lucien and Rhys and Cassian. They weren't Elain's own words and she does have a voice to speak out on it instead of Azriel.

6) I still think ACOSF and the bonus chapter are big indicators that they don't work out as a couple. Sarah could've made them more appealing to the readers but she didn't. This was Nesta’s book, and she could have made Elain a larger part of Nesta’s recovery journey and had her spend more time with azriel. But she didn’t. You know who had the most page time in ACOSF? Nesta, cassian, gwyn, and azriel.

7) rhys is almost always right. The podcast BookTalkforBookTok consistently jokes that he is always telling the future. When he steers Azriel off of Elain before things escalate, he is truly looking out for Az’s best interest. Rhys has great intentions and poor execution. However, whenever rhys says something it’s true. If rhys thought they would be good for each other, then he wouldn’t interfere and would work something out with lucien.

8) cassian saying that Elain looks dreary in black is just SO ON THE NOSE and idk if SJM can make it any clearer. Black is the night court color, black is azriel’s color. @yazthebookish confronts this here and I couldn’t have said it better myself.

9) time and time again, SJM is asked about what the couples would do and EVERYTIME she talks about what Elain and lucien would do together. In her head, they are end game. When asked where they would go on vacation together, she said Paris. Then there was this beauty:

10) Az is still not over mor by solstice and he has a LOT of work to do before being in a relationship. He is using Elain as a distraction against his bigger issues with intimacy and belonging.

Ultimately, I have a theory that Elain tried to steer herself towards azriel and away from lucien for all the wrong reasons. Azriel, despite the wings, looks more or less human. He has rounded ears, is soft spoken, and she associates him with her human life. She meets lucien on the worst night of her life (mirroring how gwyn met Az on her worst night too just fyi), he has long hair, fae ears, a mechanical eye, and looks the part of the fae she grew up hating. HOWEVER, if she got to know the males the opposite is actually true. Despite his looks, azriel is incredibly male and fae. He follows his instincts, he growls/snarls, he is a fighter and a torturer. Lucien, on the other hand, has a very human soul. He currently even lives with Jurian and Vassa. She clings to Az because accepting lucien means accepting being fae and I think she is still in denial. I wouldn’t doubt there would be a point at the beginning of her book where she might want to jump at the opportunity to become human again. She lost the most out of the three sisters by becoming fae and she loves life. Accepting the bond means accepting being fae and this emotional and sexually charged relationship with Az is the bandaid on her gaping wound. It will only keep the bleeding at bay for so long.

Both azriel and Elain are using each other as distractions from their true trauma’s. Azriel latches onto women who are unable to give him the love he deserves. Elain is trying to keep the one human part of her she has left, the ability to choose her partner and not have it chosen for her by the cauldron.

TOG Spoiler:

After finishing TOG, I feel like chaol and azriel will be on similar love stories. Chaol had loved a girl prior to the events of throne of glass but found her in bed with Rolland, and I think this parallels to Az’s relationship to Mor. Then his next relationship was with Aelin. It was hinted at through all of TOG and before they got together in COM. Their relationship was short and brief and ended badly (I think they were officially together for like a week before shit hit the fan). This parallel’s Az and Elain. Both couples look good on paper, but lack the special spark that makes SJM couples endgame. They end up being worse for each other because of their personalities and they give into their insecurities with each other. This leads me to think that Azriel will go on a journey of introspection and emotional healing with the help of gwyn, just like chaol did with yrene. Just like yrene, gwyn has the power to heal with her invoking stones. I can go on but you get the point. When they all meet again in KOA, they are all happy for each other despite their rocky past just like I think the whole Elain/lucien/Az/gwyn group will be.

Ultimately SJM is gonna do what she is gonna do. But I for one will be incredibly disappointed if Elain and Az are endgame because I think they both deserve better. They are both good characters, but toxic together.

[zenxenophilia]

Which classical Disney Princess would you compare Holly Claus to?

Definitely Cinderella! Not only do they have very similar personalities, but the more I thought about it they seemed to have a lot of other things in common as well.

Both are gentle, caring, and have a tremendous inner strength. They can keep a level head in most situations, but aren’t afraid to push back when pushed too far.

They both dream of escaping their homes to some extent. Cinderella because of her abusive family and Holly in order to see the world and help people.

They both have fairy godmothers that gift them magical accessories (Cindy’s glass slippers and Holly’s locket).

Both have a magical sparkly dress transformation. (Side note, even though their dresses are meant to be silver and gold respectively, they’re both interpreted as blue in official art.)

Both have a love interest they hide their true identity from at first which results in a dramatic scene of their love interests running after them.

There’s some sort of magic imposed time limit on their adventures. Cinderella’s dress and coach disappear at midnight, and if Holly stays in the human world past winter her ice heart will melt.

Both have talking animal friends who accompany them on their adventures.

They’re both creative and have artistic hobbies (sewing and doll making)

And of course, they both live happily ever after in the end. :)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Quick question sorry if this has been asked before: do you know any Johnlock fanfic where they’re extremely sensual? Like not just making love but just super methodically drawn out and slow and sweet?

Hi Nonny!!

Ahh, because of this ask, I went through my bookmarks to see if I have any listed with “sensuality” so that’s what this list is!! It definitely doesn’t have all of my fics because I have to go back through them and tag them, but in the meantime, enjoy what I started tagging a few months ago when you sent me this ask, LOL <3

As always, add your own fics here, Lovelies!!

SENSUALITY

See also:

Emotional Love Making || [MOBILE POST]

Emotional Love Making Pt. 2

Loved. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 1,231 w., 1 Ch. || First Sherlock POV, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nose Kisses, Morning After, Love Confessions, Morning Cuddles, Emotional Sherlock, Sentiment, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock reflects on his relationship with John. Part 5 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Morning Sunlight by slashscribe (E, 3,565 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Morning Sex, Fluff, PWP, Established Rel., Soft Idiots) – A thin band of soft morning light peeks between the curtains and stretches across John’s torso, laying dormant across his forearm, dipping into the space between his arm and his chest, illuminating his right nipple but just brushing the edge of his left, disappearing into his armpit, and reappearing again right over Sherlock’s eyes where his head rests, nestled against John’s shoulder. Sherlock is not annoyed by the light’s intrusion on his sleep, not when it rests so soft and tantalizing on John’s skin, a work of unintentionally erotic art. A PWP with so much emotion.

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch. || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION || Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

[mypoisonedvine]

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader (part 7)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  

word count: 2.5k

warnings: um just implied smut and fluff and a reference to bdsm I guess?? but it's pretty chill overall

Liked by starkcosmetics and others

y/n.y/l/n okay first of all, it takes an act of god to get a picture of this guy smiling, but it’s always worth it.  he really changed everything for me and I can’t thank him enough for that.  so happy ❤️ 

View all 9,208 comments

caroldanvers 😍😍😍

flowercrowny/n oh my god this is so sweet i’m gonna cry

1 HOUR AGO

He smiled as he stared down at the post you’d made, remembering how much effort you’d put into finding the perfect picture (in your opinion; he thought he looked kinda dopey in it) as well as writing and re-writing your caption.

The speed at which your post gained likes and comments was inconceivable to him; even more impressive was the speed at which gossip rags were picking up the story.  Sure enough, his phone’s alerts to new headlines about you were not only going off like crazy, but had started to include news about himself as well.  

Y/N Y/L/N Shocks With Romantic Instagram Post, Confirms Dating Rumors

You’ll Never Guess Which Hollywood Starlet Is Dating Her Driver

Who is James Barnes?  Everything We Know About Y/N Y/L/N’s New Beau

Skimming one of the articles, he was impressed at how much information they’d managed to get without actually getting anything from you or him.  Born in Brooklyn, disabled Army veteran, worked a list of odd jobs before becoming your driver and bodyguard.  ‘No social media presence, prefers to keep a low profile’ one of them said; you can say that again, Bucky chuckled to himself when he read it.

He found another from People and didn’t particularly appreciate that it spent half the time going through all your past exes and rumored partners (turned out ‘rumored’ is a fancy word for ‘a bunch of fans deluded themselves so hard that it somehow turned into news without any proof necessary’).  But he still smiled when he got to the part that was actually about you and him.

‘The relationship is pretty new but they’re so happy together,’  a source close to the couple reported.  

Close indeed; that statement came from your publicist, who he’d never even meet.  

‘He’s a very private guy and she’s got this huge following, so they’re sort of an odd couple in that way, but she knows her fans are respectful and will let them have their own life outside of the spotlight.’ 

Bucky wasn’t sure that the respectfulness of fans was such a given here, but he hoped you were right.  To be fair, they’d been very sweet on your original post insofar. 

However, when he scrolled to the bottom of the celebrity magazine articles and realized they had their own comments section, he discovered that they were a little less forgiving than the ones on your Instagram.  

Is this the best she thinks she can do?  So sad tbh :(

a military guy…. yikes, she could get any guy she wants and she goes for a murderer. 

He looks like a hobo that found a coupon for a free haircut lol

I don’t buy it, I know she’ll always love Pietro!

Pietro being your former co-star that so many of your fans were convinced was actually your soulmate.  From what he’d heard from you, those speculations had made things so uncomfortable between the two of you that it killed your friendship.  Those were nothing, though, compared to the comments about someone you actually had dated.

she’s obviously not over sam… they were so good together

He’d better watch out for her ex, he still likes tweets about her and they have so much chemistry

Wait, she’s not still with Sam Wilson??  I could’ve sworn they’d been dating for, like, five years.

You were scrolling through your phone with a smile as you walked past where he was sitting on the couch, and he just couldn’t help himself from asking even though he knew it wasn’t the best idea.  “Do I need to worry about this Sam thing?” he blurted out, trying to play it cool and not sound too anxious.  “People are really obsessed with you two…”

“Sam and I…” you sighed, staring off into space for a second.  He made himself anxious imagining what you were thinking about in that moment.  “I haven’t talked to him in… years?  I think it’s just because our relationship was so public that people are still talking about it.  And it had a lot of gossip material— we did a movie together, people thought it was sweet that we got together during production, it was great promotion for the picture… and from the outside, we made a lot of sense for each other.  But he has his own problems.  I loved him, but… he wasn’t ever going to be a one-girl kinda guy.”

“But you’re not just any one girl.  You’re… you know, you,” he emphasized.

“You’ve been reading too many headlines,” you shook your head as you sat down beside him.  “Please don’t turn into one of those guys who thinks of me as a celebrity first.  Before that—” you pointed to your own name where it was bolded on his screen in the trending topics page of Twitter— “was popping up on movie posters and in gossip magazines, it was just my name.  And I’m not perfect.  Not even close.”

Bucky sighed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and holding you tightly.  “And before I knew you were famous, or rich, or incredibly talented, I was totally obsessed with you just for who you are.”

“You’re too fucking amazing,” you sighed as you held his face and gave him a gentle kiss— the kind of kiss that instantly melted his heart and banished his worries.  When you pulled back and looked up at him with a smile, it was like everything else just… faded away.  “Don’t read the comments, okay?  None of them matter.”

He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, overwhelmed by not only the softness of your skin but of your spirit as well.  In all his life he’d never been handled so… gently, with so much care.  “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled, not even really realizing he’d said it aloud until you gave him a beaming smile.

“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” you giggled pridefully.

“Seriously?  I can… very easily believe it,” he scoffed.

“I just mean… you’re so…” you searched for the words.  “You’re actually good to me, that’s the thing.  I’m not used to that.”

“You deserve the world,” he assured.  “I’m just gonna keep trying to give you as much of it as I can find.”

He watched his hand trail over your face, down your neck and to your chest where he played with the hem of your t-shirt.

"It's odd to know there are millions of people who are jealous of me,” he admitted quietly, remembering some aggressive comments from some very angry dudes who had apparently also watched your nude scene a few too many times.

"Do you like it?  Do you like how it feels to know you're making them angry every time you touch me?"

"Couldn't care less," he refuted.  "Nobody else matters when I'm touchin' you."

“Do you maybe wanna… touch me a little more about it?” you smirked, opening your legs slightly in invitation.

“Always.”

//

Bucky had, thankfully, not let the newfound fame get to his head.  In fact, he had demanded that the two of you hunker down in the house, since he feared that going out would lead to being recognized.  What he apparently hadn’t anticipated was that that might not be enough.

“Will you get that?” you requested when the gate buzzed, too wrapped up in the book you were reading to answer the intercom.

He hopped up and held down the button to communicate with the gate speaker.  “Who is it?” he asked.

“I’ve got a delivery from Anjappar Chettinad on 23rd?”

Bucky didn’t even reply before hitting the green button and granting access to the driveway.  BEEP BEEP BEEP! you heard the gate signal its opening, and the car pulling around up to the door.  Bucky didn’t open it until there was a knock, greeting the delivery guy with a smile and the necessary cash.

“I’ve got a lamb korma, hyderabadi mutton dum biryani and an order of— woah,” the man suddenly stopped, staring at Bucky’s face.  “Are you—?’

“Hungry?  Yes,” he frowned.

“You’re the guy dating— holy shit, congrats man,” he beamed, smacking Bucky on the shoulder pridefully before leaning in with a mischievous smirk.  “Say, is she a freak or what?”

“She is,” you piped up from the couch, making both men turn their heads; but one was chuckling while the other looked mortified.  “You better not have forgotten my paneer pakora or I’m gonna chain you up and whip you.”

“Uh, I— no, I got it right here,” he promised weakly, handing the bag over to Bucky and starting to dash away before Bucky grabbed his arm, making the smaller man whimper fearfully.

“You forgot the money,” Bucky reminded him gruffly, stuffing the bills into the driver’s front pocket.

Finally, he let go, and the delivery man instantly pulled away, rubbing his arm and looking a bit like a kicked puppy as he went back to his car and drove away.

“You didn’t need to scare him that bad,” Bucky chuckled.

“I could say the same to you!  Grabbing somebody with the metal arm like that will put the fear of God into them pretty fast.”

“I didn’t mean to grab him that hard,” he admitted, examining the prosthetic hand as he came back to the couch with the bag of food, handing it to you while he focused on watching his motorized fingers curl and uncurl.  “I think I need to get this thing recalibrated… it’s been bugging out lately.”

“I dunno, it was working just fine last night,” you smiled, remembering how delightfully cool those fingers felt inside you.

Bucky seemed to miss it entirely, though, as he stared off into space.  “I can’t believe I got… recognized.”

“You’re a star,” you winked.  “And not just with random delivery drivers.  I’ve had a lot of press requests, everybody wants to be the first one to get nice pictures of us together— we’ve had a dozen event invites as a couple.”

“Seriously?!” he scoffed, snapping back to reality slightly enough 

“Yeah, and look what came in same-day mail this morning!”  You leaned over to shuffle through the mail on the side table before finding and handing him a letter in a gold-embossed envelope, watching him read what you knew was inside.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association extends an invitation to Y/N Y/L/N and James Barnes to the annual Grant Banquet in support of the Young Artists Fund.

“It seems like a good first event for us,” you explained.  “Relatively small and low stakes, it’s for a good cause…”

“Are you sure I’m ready to be, you know… seen?  By people?” 

You scoffed, hardly believing how insecure he could be sometimes.  “You look great, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Will I have to talk to anybody other than you?” he asked, grimacing as if that were a form of brutal torture.

“Probably,” you admitted.

His frown deepened.  “What if I say the wrong thing?”

“I’m not that worried about you,” you smirked.  “You’re a lot better at this stuff than you think you are.”

“I don’t have anything to wear…”

You smirked, a little too proud of yourself, when you remembered the email your publicist had forwarded to you just this morning.  “Hugo Boss will pay you $1500 to wear one of their suits on the carpet.”

“They’ll pay me to wear free clothes?” he repeated with wide eyes.

“Yeah, that’s one of the cooler things about fame,” you laughed.  “I make a grand every time I wear this watch outside!”

“I guess I should send them my measurements then…” he trailed off.  “Any chance I can get in on that watch deal?”

“No, but you can make $50 by getting papped at Jamba Juice.”

He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he thought.  “Is the smoothie comped?”

“I don’t know.  Do you want me to ask?”

“...kinda…” he admitted with a shy smile.  

“Well, I will, and I’ll RSVP to this invite saying we’ll be there next week,” you decided as you started to open up the food, but Bucky stopped you by reaching for your hands.

“Are we really doing this?” he asked.

“If you want to,” you mitigated.

“Of course I do.  I guess I have to accept that you’re actually willing to be seen with me,” he chuckled.  “It’s just sort of hard to believe.”

You leaned in and kissed him; it was meant to be a casual, reassuring peck but he held you closer and you melted into him, moaning softly at his touch as you started to climb into his lap.

“The food’s gonna get cold,” he reminded you with a mumble against your lips.

Unfortunately, your literal hunger was a bit too strong to ignore, even with the growing intensity of a metaphorical hunger for Bucky.  “Alright,” you relented, getting off of him and returning your attention to the meal on the table.  “Just know that I really, really want to be seen together, in public, just in case anybody missed the news about us already.  I’m not embarrassed by you or afraid you’re going to do something dumb.  I…”

One of those words that can’t be unsaid started to bubble up in your throat and you coughed, banishing the thought.

“I really like you.  I think we have something special.”

He smiled gently, giving you one more kiss on the cheek.  “I think so, too.”

//

Since this was slightly less of a big deal than a premiere or press tour, you had managed to convince your styling team to let you dress yourself, which was why he was laying on the bed and talking to you through the bathroom door while you put on your gown.

“Do you want me to hire a new driver?” you prompted him, voice muffled slightly as he imagined your head covered in the fabric, trying to navigate through the dress.  “I don’t want you to feel… I don’t know, like a servant?”

“A servant?  You’re still paying me,” he reminded you.  “You are still paying me, right?”

“Yes,” you laughed, “but still, I would hate it if you felt like staff.  You’re my boyfriend!”

(His heart still fluttered every time you said it.)

“No new driver,” he decided.  “I can drive just fine, and considering how things went between us… let’s not open the door for anybody else,” he smirked, making you laugh in that way you did when he made a stupid joke but you still liked it somehow.

“Okay, sure, but what about being my bodyguard?  Is that too weird?” you continued.

“God no,” he scoffed, “if anything I’m gonna be better at my job than ever.  As your boyfriend, keeping you safe is my job, but since keeping you safe was already my job… it’s, like, doubled-up now.”

He lost his train of thought when you opened the door.

“How do I look?” you asked as you stepped in and gave him a spin in your new dress.  Your whole body was draped in red silk, with the exception of your back which was almost entirely exposed, as if it were begging him to run his fingers down your spine.

“Like everything I ever wanted,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

And it was so odd that you questioned his desire to drive you, because those moments where he could steer with one hand and rest the other on your thigh, when he could catch a glimpse of you looking out the window at the city rolling by, when he got to listen to you ramble about something to kill the time during a drive; those were his favorite moments, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

After a relatively brief trip, you arrived at the venue, and all of a sudden he was doing what he’d fantasized about more than he’d like to admit: escorting you down a red carpet.  It was almost overwhelming— yelling, chattering, reporters speaking into camera, flashes going off in every direction—

“Hey,” you whispered, bringing your hand up to his cheek and instantly taking all his attention.

“Hey,” he returned.

“Just follow my lead,” you instructed.

“That was the plan.”

[nextdoor-neighbors]

What Friends Are For

Link to Part Two!

Request: Hi! Idk if you’re taking requests but I got this idea and it won’t leave my head lol: reader is best friends with the twins and/or closest to George (like platonic soulmates) and wants to lose their virginity so George is basically like “yeah sure I can help you out, what are friends for?”

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Smut, language

A/N: Sorry I’ve been gone for a bit guys, but here’s this, I hope you all enjoy! It’s been a while since I’ve written a George one!

You were the last virgin in your friend group.

You hadn’t told anyone, mostly because you were slightly embarrassed. So, your friends were just under the impression that you’d hooked up with someone one night and lost your virginity, but wouldn’t tell them who.

It’s not that you didn’t want to have sex. You did. It was just the matter of finding someone to have sex with that was difficult.

But one night, the pieces finally come together, as you sit with your best friend, George Weasley, in his dorm. The rest of his roommates and your friends are out, but Merlin knows where. You guess that Angelina and Fred are probably off hooking up somewhere, because when Fred wasn’t with you and George, he was always with her. Not that it bothered you; you’ve always enjoyed alone time with George. The two of you had always been closer than you and Fred, because George always seemed to understand you better. You’re convinced that he knows you better than you know yourself.

Now, you lay on his bed with him as he reads to you (an activity that you always kept from Fred, knowing he’d tease you endlessly about it), but your mind is elsewhere. You’re more focused on how close you are to him in this tiny bed, how your arms are pressed together, and how you can feel his body heat.

An idea pops into your head, and the second it’s there, you know it’s not going to leave.

“George,” you say, abruptly.

He stops reading and glances over at you.

“Yeah?”

“I wanna lose my virginity.”

You prop yourself up on your elbow so you can turn to look at George better. A look of confusion crosses his face, his eyebrows furrowing.

“You said you already-”

“I lied,” you admit, “because I was embarrassed that I was the only one in our friend group that hasn’t had sex yet. And since you guys talk it up so much, I just... I don’t know.”

George sets the book on his nightstand and turns his body to face yours. There was no denying how attractive he is, and plus, he’s probably the person you trust most in the world. What better person to get some experience from?

“You didn't have to lie, Y/N,” George says softly, “we wouldn’t have judged you because of it, or anything, if that’s what you were worried about.”

He reaches out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, which, any other time, you wouldn’t think twice about. But now - with these thoughts of losing your virginity to George on your mind - the simple gesture takes your full attention.

“I want to, though. Lose my virginity. And-” you continue, knowing George, “not just to fit in, or whatever you’re thinking. Because I want to experience it.”

George pulls his lower lip in with his teeth, and you know him well enough to know that he does that when he's thinking about something.

“I mean...”

You wait for him to continue, not wanting to jump the gun, but you somehow just know that the two of you are thinking the same thing. You usually are, after all.

“I could...I could help you out?”

You can’t help but smile nervously. “Are you sure?”

George returns your smile, looking much more at ease than you feel. “Yeah, what are friends for?”

You laugh, but it’s quickly cut off by George pressing his lips against yours. You make a soft noise of pleasure against his mouth as you scoot closer to him, wrapping the arm that’s not propping you up around his neck and sliding your fingers into his hair. His hand finds your waist and grips it tightly, his fingers digging into your skin.

He half rolls so that he’s on top of you, pressing his body down against yours so that you can feel practically every inch of him.

His mouth leaves yours, kissing and sucking alone your jawline and neck. You tilt your head back to give him better access, pleasure flooding your body. You feel yourself growing more wet by the second as his tongue traces your collarbone and his hands slide under and up your shirt.

George pulls away, sitting up, and you worry that something’s wrong until he says,

“Take your shirt off.”

You immediately listen to his command, removing your shirt as he does the same. You take a moment to look at his toned chest, the freckles spattered over his pale skin. He gazes at you in return, eyes searching your body before he makes eye contact with you again.

“If at any point you want to stop, Y/N-”

You shake your head. “I want this, George.”

A small smirk forms on his lips as he moves his attention to your lower half, pulling at your skirt. He tosses it aside, leaving you in your bra and underwear. He drags his fingers down your stomach and along the hem of your panties teasingly.

“George,” you whimper, bucking your hips up towards his hand.

“What?” he says, innocently, that smirk still on his face as his hand finally slips under your panties, his fingers teasing your entrance.

You let out a moan as he pushes a finger inside of you.

“You’re so wet already,” he murmurs, his other hand coming to rest on your thigh, gripping it tightly as he begins pumping his finger in and out of you.

“Fuck,” you say, tilting your head back at the pleasure, but George’s hand leaves your thigh and wraps around your neck.

“Look at me,” George demands, adding another finger, so you do exactly that, meeting his eyes. Between the eye contact, his hand around your neck, and his long fingers curling inside of you, the pleasure is almost too much to handle, building inside of you and spreading down your legs.

Much to your disappointment, George takes his fingers out of you and lets go of your neck. He begins to get off the bed, undoing his belt. Your eyes are glued to his bulge straining against his pants, because you can already tell that he's big, which is confirmed once he pulls down his pants and boxers in one move, his erection springing free.

“You’re so big,” you say, and you can’t help but wonder how you’re going to take him.

He grins, joining you back on the bed and straddling your legs, pulling your panties down and tossing those to side, just as he did with your skirt.

“I’ll be gentle. If it hurts, let me know, and I’ll stop, okay?” George says, guiding your legs, pushing them up so that your knees are up and your feet are planted firmly on the bed. He pushes your thighs apart, looking you over a few times.

“You’re gorgeous, Y/N. Absolutely stunning. I say that in the most friendly way possibly, by the way.” He winks at you as he positions himself at your entrance.

You can’t help but giggle. “Right. Of course.”

He leans down to kiss you, hard and passionate, before beginning to push himself inside of you. You gasp at the sensation, at how big he is, and how he fills up every inch of you. It definitely hurts, due to his size, but you don’t want him to stop.

“Fuuuck, Y/N,” he groans, “you’re so tight.”

He pauses, once he’s mostly inside of you, letting you adjust to him.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice quiet and strained.

“Yeah, George, keep going.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice. He starts slow, trying to be as gentle as possible as you get used to him, but quickly begins increasing speed. He lets out groans and grunts as he thrusts into you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You clutch at him, digging your nails in his back.

“Fuck, George-”

“You feel so good, Y/N-”

You feel yourself edging closer and closer to orgasm, and judging by George’s less controlled thrusts, you guess that he is, too.

“I’m close, George,” you whimper.

“So am I,” he breathes, “Cum for me, princess.”

After a few more thrusts, you release, the pleasure shooting through your body. You let out a loud moan, and George finishes shortly after, inside of you, groaning into your skin.

He pulls out of you, slowly, and grins at you as he looks you over, his chest rising and falling quickly.

“What do you think?”

You smile back, propping yourself up on your elbows to look at him. He looks gorgeous like this: flushed, hair messy.

“Are you asking for a post-sex rating, Weasley?”

He laughs, pushing himself off the bed to grab his shirt off the floor, which he tosses at you. You don’t hesitate to put it on, laying back down after you do so.

“Yes, Y/L/N, I am. If you have any critiques, I’ll gladly hear those, too. Anything to improve my game.” He winks at you before grabbing his pants and pulling them back up.

You laugh. If you were being honest with yourself, you wouldn’t mind doing that again, with George. After all, it’s just a friend helping out another friend.

Right?

[caramelcal]

Songwriting and Fake Dating {2}

Word Count: 1.8k

a/n: hello guys! hope you’re having a good day/night so far, thanks for reading my work I really appreciate it. I appreciate every note, comment, repost, request that everyone sends in and I’m so glad that you guys enjoy my silly little pieces of writing lol...

However, I can’t take full credit for this so thank you so much to the kind people that sent me plot ideas, lots of lovee x 

 THIS WILL HAVE MORE PARTS!!! 

Also, how would you guys feel about me making a base Luke Patterson tag? Just an idea though! (sorry for the long a/n)

Tags:

@gia-kerks​ @phantompogues​ @thesweetestsinner​ @honeyheartzz​

disclaimer: i do not condone plagiarism on my work at all, this has not been posted on any other platforms, or on tumblr anywhere else but my account (rosemoonmist) if you see anyone plagiarizing mine (or anyone else’s account) please inform the rightful author ! thank you lovelies x

part 1   masterlist   next

The deal worked well. Luke kept his promise saying that he would keep everyone off your back, seeing you walk in with Luke Patterson kept guys pretty far away from you. It was like they knew that they shouldn’t mess with you, not only because you guys were together but because of how powerful you were both viewed as was insane. You guys were the school’s new power couple. That felt amazing.

Yet, as amazing as it felt it was still strange; the fact that the power couple wasn’t even really dating, and that you guys didn’t even like or talk to each other in the beginning.

Slowly but surely though, you got to know Luke. You knew there was always a little more to him than met the eye but after three weeks of you guys interacting with each other on a personal basis, you guys got extremely close. Too close for some people’s liking.

Of course, Luke wasn’t the only one that upheld his end of the bargain, you did too. Often, you found yourself thinking about new lyrics in school, jotting down scribbles in the corners of your textbooks and notes. Luke was right when he said you were an amazing songwriter. The rest of Luke’s band, Julie and the Phantoms, had been apprehensive when he got help from you to write songs, but after seeing something you wrote for them they were convinced of your talent and were very eager to have you write more songs for them.

Actually, most people were glad you were writing songs again. But no her, not Carrie. In fact, she was furious that you were writing songs for them, despite knowing of the deal. Instead of encouraging you and praising you for finally getting into writing songs properly and utilizing your talents, she argued with you for ‘helping the rival band’ and saying that you ‘didn’t care about Dirty Candy’. She knew that wasn’t true but the fact she still said it hurt you.

Yet, even though you and your best friend’s relationship was slightly fractured at the moment, you still arrived at her house for practice. New choreography had been introduced that you had to learn, and you heard from another Dirty Candy member, Kayla, that it was super confusing.

Naturally, you ended up at Carrie’s on Tuesday evening, ready for a night full of dancing, learning confusing choreography, and laughing with the other girls. You had been Carrie’s best friend long enough to know just to walk into her house without knocking, knowing that Trevor and Emily weren’t home, Luke would be up in his room, and Carrie too far away in the studio to hear you knock. 

Treading through the house, on your way to go the studio you have your bag slung over your shoulder, subconsciously humming a song. That was until you hear someone call from behind you, “Y/n?”

Turning around, you see Luke there and give him a smile and a wave. He walks up closer to you, jumping down the stairs and landing just in front of you, rocking back on his heels. A smile lights upon his face as he opens his mouth, starting to speak, “I was messing around with the melody a little for this song you wrote, if you quickly came to my room I could show you on my guitar.”

Luke points in the direction that he came from, taking a step backward as you look at him unsure. He holds a hand out to you with a small cheeky smile, almost as if he knows that you’re itching to hear it. You quickly glance back in the direction of the studio before giving in, “Fine, fine, but be quick. I have choreography practice for Dirty Candy I can’t miss.”

Luke gives you a beaming smile as you place your hand in his, which he grasps before pulling you along the hallway, not leaving you too long to dwell on the studio session.

One second you’re just entering Luke’s room, letting him play you the chords on his guitar and giving him a few pointers, seconds later you guys are working on tweaking lyrics and you hear the girl’s chatter from downstairs. Wide eyes meeting Luke’s you realize that the girls are leaving.

Eyes glance over to Luke’s alarm clock and you realize it hasn’t just been a few minutes, it’s been two hours. Two hours of vital practice for Dirty Candy that you blew off for Luke, again. Carrie was not going to be happy if she found out.

However, luck doesn’t seem to be on your or Luke’s side as you hear a knocking sound from Luke’s bedroom door, “Luke?”

It’s Carrie. Eyes darting towards each other, Luke indicates for you to hide, helping you crouch down out of sight. You’re behind Luke’s bed, too scared to even peek over the comforter to stare at Luke’s bedroom door as Luke tells Carrie to come in.

When Carrie comes in, Luke’s bedroom is tidier than normal, fewer clothes splayed on the floor, but bedsheets still ruffled and a wide array of objects splayed on his desk and shelves, along with his bed. When she speaks to Luke, she walks closer to the bed, voice quiet.

“y/n didn’t show up for practice again,” You cringed at that, knowing that you were guilty of getting caught up in writing songs with Luke. However, you had never got caught up writing songs in Carrie’s house, this was a new low for you, “I just wondered if you had heard from her.”

Guilt bubbles in your stomach when you realize that Carrie sounds worried for you. She should be, you hadn’t checked your phone for two hours and the last time you texted her you said that you were on your way over. She expected better from you than to blow her off for her brother, and you should have too.

“No,” Luke dismisses, clearing his throat awkwardly as he shares a tight-lipped smile with his sister, who stares at him strangely.

“Okay...Wait,” Carrie starts to sigh but stops talking, allowing you to hear her feet come further into the room, her eyes catch onto something, “Is that...y/n’s? IS Y/N HERE WITH YOU?”

At the sound of her louder voice, you cringe physically. You can hear the utter betrayal and anger in her voice when she thinks you’re here. You knew that if she found out she would be livid but this sounded worse than you imagined. Much worse. Before you put Luke in an awkward position and make him lie to his sister, you stood up, eyes squinting slightly as you stared at the livid version of your best friend.

Her fists clench at her sides and she puffs her chest out as she looks at you, eyes widening slightly. Nothing is said as Luke looks awkwardly between the two of you. You open your mouth, looking at Carrie before hesitantly speaking, “Carrie, listen-”

However, Carrie wasn’t up for your excuses, storming out of the room. Without even looking over at the boy who stayed on his bed, you rushed out after your best friend, “Carrie, please!”

Grabbing onto her shoulder, you manage to get Carrie to stop walking away from you but instead, she whirls around angrily, eyes widened even further as she rejects your touch. She points a finger towards you and takes a menacing step forward, causing you to step backward, “You know what y/n? I was annoyed when you started writing for our rival band but now you’re blowing off practice to help them?”

Unable to speak, you simply watch carry with your lips slightly apart. You had seen Carrie mad before, but you had never had it directed at you. Her arms retreat from pointing threateningly at you and instead, she crossed her arms over her chest, scoffing at you, “It’s clear to see where your priorities lie. That’s it, you’re done. You’re no longer welcome in Dirty Candy.”

“Carrie please-” You begin to speak, almost pleadingly but she puts a hand in front of her, her palm facing you, like a sign to stop you from talking. 

“I don’t even want to hear it,” She spits out, giving you a distasteful look, “get out of my house. You’re no longer welcome here.”

. . .

You walk with your head ducked when you’re in school the next day, books hugged to your chest. People don’t stare at you like they usually do, because neither Carrie nor Luke was by your side. Not only a sad reminder of what happened yesterday, but of the fact that you were nothing without your best friend. Everything with Luke was fake, Carrie was supposed to be your best friend.

How could you let her down like that?

How could you get caught up in a boy? Right from the beginning you and Carrie had a deal, that you would never let a boy get between the two of you, that you would never prioritize someone else over each other. You broke that, with her stepbrother of all people. You had two deals, one with Carrie and one with Luke, and you knew you had to pick between the two of them.

The only plan of action you could think to get back into Dirty Candy and back to being Carrie’s friend was that you apologized and begged to be in her band again, dropped Luke and hope that she took some sort of pity on your soul.

“Hey! Y/n!” You spun around, eyes looking up to catch onto the hazel eyes that jogged over to you, a book in his hand. He landed right in front of you, giving you a small smile as he indicated to the book in his hands, “You left this in my room yesterday...”

Your eyes glanced down to the notebook in his hand, the one that you were writing songs in, and a bitter taste fills your mouth. Yet another reminder of last night, and all of the mistakes you made. Shaking your head lightly, you took the notebook from the boy without a word.

“I know it’s probably best you don’t see Carrie right now, so how about you come over to Julie’s garage tonight?”

Looking up at him with saddened eyes, you shook your head as you muttered, “We can’t do this anymore.”

“What do you mean, y/n?” Luke asked breathily, eyebrows furrowing as he rocked on his heels. People bustled about the corridors but paid no mind to your conversation, too wrapped up in their own business but all of Luke’s attention was on you.

“This,” You repeated, using your hand to gesture between the two of you. You saw as his eyes fell to your hand, eyebrows raising slightly, “We can’t. Not anymore.”

He leaned closer to you, almost ensuring no one overheard you as he spoke lowly into your ear, “It’s part of the deal, y/n.”

“A deal we never should’ve made,” You started, holding your hand out to Luke’s chest so he couldn’t advance on you.

As you started up into Luke’s eyes, you frowned a little. Luke was a good person, and you guys bonded so well, not only over music, but tv shows, movies, common interests.. You guys just clicked. The past few weeks had been great, but you couldn’t put your best friend on the back burner just because of a few happy days.

“I got kicked out of Dirty Candy for our little deal,” You snapped bitterly, shaking your head wildly. Luke’s eyebrows shot up, mouth opening in shock as he stared down at you, “I lost my best friend. I’m sorry Luke but Carrie comes first. Over everything, especially our stupid little deal.”

With that, you walked away, leaving Luke in the distance. You didn’t even turn back to look at him...

[flamingfalcon3]

Hello! I have finally finished the first chapter of my first Jori fanfic. I’m still trying to get a feel for the character interactions but I think I’m starting to get the hang of it! I’m gonna start posting to ao3 once i get that account set up (and figure out a title lol) but I might as well post the first chapter here! Any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated. Enjoy!

Jade knew her girlfriend was hiding something. 

Tori was not a hard person to read. Hell, the girl practically wore her heart on her sleeve. It was so easy to guess what she was feeling at all times that Tori had all but given up trying to conceal her emotions. 

So, when Jade noticed that Tori was a bit more high-strung and stressed than usual, it wasn’t hard for her to conclude that there was something on her mind. 

It also helped that Tori was an awful liar. 

“What’s up with you?” Jade asked casually during lunch one afternoon.

“Nothing!” the singer squeaked suspiciously. She cleared her throat and attempted to regain composure. “Nothing is up. Everything is great!”

Jade frowned slightly, not at all convinced, but decided just to drop it for the time being as the rest of their friend group arrived at the table. 

The rest of the day was uneventful. Sikowitz made them all tapdance while performing a scene to “demonstrate how important it is to stay in character no matter what the character may be doing” or whatever and then spent the rest of the class monologuing about how a squirrel got trapped in his bathroom. 

Jade sighed a breath of relief as the final bell rang and cut Sikowitz off just as he was about to go into detail about the standoff he had with the rodent. The only one seemingly more anxious to get out of the classroom than Jade was her girlfriend, who was out the door before the bell even finished ringing. Their friends glanced at each other in confusion. 

“Maybe she really hates squirrels?” Robbie suggested. The others considered it for a moment before shrugging and forgetting about it a second later, exiting the classroom.

Jade strode over to Tori, who was frantically throwing books into her backpack from her locker. Jade leaned back against the locker next to Tori’s while folding her arms across her chest. 

“You’re in a hurry,” the goth commented while watching the girl struggle to cram a science textbook into her bag. 

“Jade!” Tori jumped slightly, seemingly startled by Jade’s presence.

“That’s me,” she responded dryly. “Did you forget about our date after school today?”

The singer’s eyes widened in realization and her hand flew to her forehead as she let out a groan

“Jade, oh my god, I am so sorry! I completely forgot!” she confessed, clearly feeling guilty she had forgotten they’d planned to have sushi after school ended.  

“It’s alright,” Jade replied coolly, quirking the corner of her mouth up slightly to convey to Tori she wasn’t upset with her. “What’s got you in such a rush anyway?”

Tori paused for a moment, staring down at her converse.

“Oh, umm… I promised my mom I would help her with… something,” she mumbled.

“Something…?” Jade probed, hoping to get a little more context on what had her girlfriend so worked up. Tori, however, would not offer her any.

“It’s not important. I swear I’ll make it up to you,” Tori slung her bag over her shoulder before stepping towards Jade and planting a short but sweet kiss to her lips. She then turned and began walking towards the exit. 

“You better! I can’t have people think I got stood up!” Jade called out after her, earning a hearty laugh from her girlfriend as she left the building. 

The goth rolled her eyes, amused by Tori’s refusal to admit what it was she was helping her mother with. It must be super embarrassing or something. 

Jade was halfway through entering her locker combination when she remembered something that gave her pause.

Tori’s parents were out of town for the week. Trina had a showcase and they needed an excuse not to show up. Why would she need to help her mom with something if-?

Jade’s phone lit up with a message from Tori directed towards the group chat, asking if anyone could lend her $100 bucks. The goth furrowed her brows. Tori rarely asked for money, and never more than $10 dollars at a time.

Tori Vega, what the hell are you up to? 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All Jade could think about for the rest of the day was how strange her girlfriend was acting. She wasn’t responding to her text messages and apparently none of their friends had heard from her either. It wasn’t like Tori at all, and Jade’s curiosity was slowly turning into concern. 

She knew it was silly to be worried. Tori was a big girl, after all. Still, why would she need $100 bucks on such short notice? And what was with her skittish and secretive attitude? 

Maybe she was in trouble with someone. Maybe she needed to pay them money in order to keep them at bay. 

The thought was so absurd that Jade almost burst out laughing as soon as it entered her mind. This is Tori she was talking about. Miss “I have never stayed out past curfew” Vega. Not exactly the type to get tangled up in criminal activity.

Still, Jade couldn’t help but feel uneasy about Tori’s radio silence. It wouldn’t hurt to pay her a visit, right?

15 minutes later she was climbing through her girlfriend’s bedroom window, which Tori for some reason always kept unlocked. Tori wasn’t there, but her backpack was on her bed and her phone was on her desk. Jade let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding as she sank down onto the bed. Not 10 seconds later she heard the sound of footsteps and the bedroom door creaked open. In walked Tori who jumped five feet in the air and shrieked upon seeing someone in her room.

“Jade?” Tori yelped. “What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering my texts,” the goth deadpanned. 

“So you broke into my house?” 

“I didn’t break in. Your window was unlocked,” 

“That’s still breaking in!”

“Is it really, though?”

“Yes!” 

Jade was about to argue further when she noticed Tori was holding a grocery bag, and its contents looked quite heavy based on how far the bottom was sagging. 

“Whatcha got there?” She asked, gesturing towards the bag. Tori glanced at it quickly before fixing her gaze back on Jade. 

“Just some stuff for a science project,” she stated, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Tori,” Jade huffed. “We are in the same science class. We’re lab partners. We don’t have a science project.”

Tori stammered helplessly, trying and failing to come up with some explanation for what was in the bag. Jade groaned in annoyance, fed up with whatever game her girlfriend was playing.

“I don’t understand why you won’t just tell me what’s going on! You know it doesn’t matter what it is since my opinion of you can’t get any low-” Jade was interrupted by a strange noise coming from somewhere in the room. She immediately turned to locate the source of the sound.  

Tori could only watch helplessly as the goth scoured every inch of her room before finally tearing open the doors to her closet. A tiny fuzzy creature emerged from the darkness. And then another. And then another. They kept emerging from the closet until there were seven tiny kittens of various colors and patterns wandering around the room. 

Jade slowly looked back up at her girlfriend, confusion written all over her face.

“How-how did those get in there?” Tori stammered, trying her very best to feign ignorance as all the kittens ran towards her meowing hungrily. 

Unfortunately her “very best” still wasn’t very good. 

“Tori, why were there cats in your closet?” Jade asked, still absolutely bewildered by the scene that was unfolding. 

The singer realized there was no way she could talk her way out of this one, and just gave her girlfriend a guilty look before opening her mouth.

“Remember last week when there was that sudden downpour in downtown Los Angeles?” Jade nodded. “Well, I was walking home from Nozu’s when I heard strange noises coming from an alleyway. I went to check to see what it was and-”

“Wait, you heard strange noises coming from an alleyway in downtown Los Angeles at night and you went to go check it out?” Jade asked incredulously. Jesus, Jade doesn’t know how her girlfriend has managed to survive for this long considering her self-preservation instincts were non-existent. Tori just rolled her eyes in response.”

“As I was saying, I went to go check out what the strange noises were and… well,” she turned to look at the kittens scampering around her bedroom. 

Jade brought her hand up to her face to pinch the bridge of her nose.

“So let me get this straight, you wandered into a back alley while it was raining and found kittens and decided the best thing to do would be to take them home?” Jade was still bewildered by her girlfriend. 

“Well when you put it that way it sounds like a stupid idea,” Tori blushed while avoiding eye contact. Jade sighed but took a step closer to her. 

“I mean, I always assumed you would be one of those lesbians who would have like ten cats but I thought that would start after you moved out of your parents’ house,” she smirked. 

“Hey!” Tori let out a mock-offended gasp while swatting Jade’s arm playfully. “I mean, I probably will have to move out once they come home and discover I’ve been hiding kittens in my room despite my father being deathly allergic to them.”  

Why was Jade attracted to such a moron? 

“Can’t you just give them to a shelter or something?” she asked gently. Tori shook her head softly.

“I thought about it but the pounds are apparently really full this time of year so there’s a significant possibility that they'll get…” Tori paused, unable to even finish the thought. “It’s just… they’ve been through so much in the short few weeks they’ve been alive and I can’t just abandon them now!”

Stupid Tori and her stupid heart of gold. The goth groaned and tilted her head back.

“Ugh, fine. I’ll help you with you’re dumb kitten problem,” Jade’s heart fluttered a little as she watched Tori’s face lit up like a christmas tree. 

“Really?” She gleamed. “How?”

“Well, I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who would be interested in adopting tiny kittens. Especially if you go into detail about their tragic backstory and stuff. People are suckers for that kind of stuff,” Jade stated. “You could like, advertise them on The Slap and try to get them adopted before your parents come back.”

Tori chewed at her bottom lip, contemplating Jade’s suggestion.

“That’s… not a bad idea. People advertise things on The Slap all the time,” she hesitated for a moment and her face fell. “Ugh, wait. Trina follows me. If she finds out I’m hiding kittens in my closet she’ll rat me out for sure.” 

Jade closed her eyes and sighed deeply. God, she can’t believe she was about to say this.

“I guess… I could… post about the kittens on my page, or whatever,” she grimaced. Tori’s grin got so wide Jade was concerned her face was about to split in half. 

“You would do that for me?” she exclaimed. “But, your reputatio-”

“My reputation died as soon as I changed my status to ‘in a relationship with Tori Vega’,” Jade snorted. “Kittens would be nowhere near as embarrassing as you.”

Tori was beaming at her girlfriend despite the insult, chuckling lightly as she wrapped her arms around Jade’s neck and peppering her face with soft kisses before finally connecting their lips. The goth let out a content sigh in the back of her throat and attempted to deepen the kiss while pushing Tori backwards to the bed. However, Tori hummed and broke the kiss leaving Jade more than a little confused. 

“Sorry, I-” the singer stammered. “I would feel weird making out in front of…” 

Jade quirked her eyebrows up in amusement.

“In front of… the cats?” she asked, barely suppressing a laugh. Tori nodded, cheeks red with embarrassment. Jade just chuckled and rested her forehead against her girlfriend’s. 

“Jesus Christ, Tori.”

[swga-ficrecs]

june 2021 recap

ahh june was a really fic-filled month!!! i used to be a silent reader but then i realized that it’s hard to go back to the fics i really liked reading since i had no way of finding them except for remembering key words and googling the shit out of it lol so!!! i thought of doing a monthly recap of all my favorites in addition to the fics i like and reblog. thank you to these wonderful authors who just write pure magic  ✨

🏆 holy grail  |  ☀️ fluff  |  🌧 angst  |  💋 smut.

fave authors

🏆 @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong

HOLY GRAIL AUTHOR!!! Loved a lot of their series because of the tropes and the plot. I’ll definitely come back to their fics in the future for another binge reading session

@taecalikook

Really loved their fuckboy trope fics. Has a few unfinished fics I’m excited to binge read once they’re completed

🏆 @gukyi

Discovered their work back in 2017? Really loved IGYMH and reread their masterlist this month

@ve1vetyoongi​

All I can remember is the ending of Mic Drop and I can’t  😭 I’m really excited for their unfinished fics!!!!

fave fics 

Arranged by @.minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: chaebol MYG x student reader

Y/N is a struggling student in Seoul: working multiple jobs, living in a broom closet apartment, and often sacrificing her dignity for the sake of her livelihood. What happens when a handsome stranger presents her with an offer she cannot refuse at the moment she needs it most?

Dissonance by @.minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong  🏆 🌧 ☀️

Pairing: bassist KTH x student / band manager reader

Y/N is a struggling student in Seoul: working multiple jobs, living in a broom closet apartment, and often sacrificing her dignity for the sake of her livelihood. What happens when a handsome stranger presents her with an offer she cannot refuse at the moment she needs it most?

The Parting by @.minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong  🏆 🌧 ☀️

Pairing: flower shop owner PJM x reaper reader

The only certainty in life is death, and it seems to follow Park Jimin. All his life, the icy shadow of death has hung closely by his side, along with the shadow of…something else. Reapers exist to guide the souls of the living to the world beyond. But what happens when a particular Reaper tampers with the natural order and saves a mortal boy’s life? What will they do once their fates become inextricably linked?

From Home by @gyukult  🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: chaebol JJK x reader

jungkook is the youngest of five boys, the last in line to truly inherit any his parents’ money. but what if his mom suddenly cuts him off due to his current poor behavior and he’s forced to learn how it feels like to be part of the working class?

(Not) Just Friends by @.taecalikook  🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Bestfriend / fuckboy / fratboy JJK x reader ft. KSJ 

Befriending the fuckboy with devilishly handsome face and emotional capacity of a pea is not your choice, especially when you met him when you were in fifth grade, attracted for the unhealthy vermilion shaded face of the nerd he was that fateful day. So was Jungkook, as he is already putting strictly platonic label on your forehead and calls it a day. But it is only a matter of time before everything changes, and it only takes a frat party, lots of booze and… a certain Kim Seokjin.

Partiality by @jiminimoon  🏆 🌧

Pairing: Husband PJM x reader

You and Jimin argue about your kids not loving you two equally

Brown-eyed Baby by @jeonstudios  🏆 ☀️ 🌧 💋

Pairing: Single Parent JJK x reader

a lost child at the mall. eyes from a different time.

I’ll Give You My Heart by @.gukyi  🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: CEO bestfriend MYG x reader

gift exchanges are cool. gift exchanges with your ceo-slash-best friend min yoongi are less cool, because what the hell are you supposed to get the man that already has everything?

The Truth Between Us by @.gukyi and @jimlingss   🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Editor MYG x reader

a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle.

Love is Blind by @cinnaminsvga 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

[Final] Pairing: Fake boyfriend KNJ x reader

social media au where y/n posts a fake boyfriend application on twitter as a dare but ends up seeking something real in the long run (aka how to fall in love the zillennial way)

Love Grows Where You Go by @hueseok 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Fiancé MYG x reader

determined to make you and yoongi grow closer for your upcoming wedding in two weeks, your parents plan a trip for the both of you that lasts five days long. you know you should be ecstatic about it, considering your longtime crush on your fiancé, but by how you’re positive that he secretly despises your whole being, you don’t find this mini vacation with him something to look forward to. that is until things take an unexpected turn and suddenly, he makes it apparent he doesn’t hate you at all as you reckoned.

Give Me Love by @.hueseok 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Lawyer boyfriend KNJ x reader

you’ve been in a relationship with your boyfriend for over five years now, yet the talk of marriage has never been initiated between the two of you. of course, you try to somehow squeeze it in from time to time, but it seems like no matter what, namjoon just won’t take the hint

Cornfields and Cosmos by @jessikahathaway ☀️ 🌧 💋

Pairing: Alien MYG x reader

Cornfields: He was an alien. You were a girl. Can I make it any more obvious? Probably. It’s the one where Yoongi’s a cold alien that needs love too.

Cosmos:  Yoongi and you had been travelling together for a long time. You’d begun the terrifying journey of becoming parents. When a new person arrives in a way you didn’t expect, you and Yoongi’s relationship is sent into a tailspin.

The Art of Craving by @venusiangguk  ☀️ 💋

Pairing: Single parent DILF JJK x reader

jk takes you to a bbq at his friends house. the tri-tip is good but the creampie is even better.

fics to i’m waiting to finish before binge reading

What we are not ; Soulmates by @.taecalikook

Pairing: MYG x reader x KTH

you love yoongi with all your heart throughout these five years being in a relationship with him. you always thought he is the one — your one, even when the infamous soulmate signs are still not showing. yet you always wait, because you know it’s him you are destined to be with, forever. but what would happen if then his childhood best friend comes along, with the universe-signed telltales that you have been looking for true love in all the wrong places?

When the sea sleeps by @.taecalikook

Pairing: KSJ x reader

marriage should be based on love, but it’s not really the case with you and Seokjin. what’s more beneficial than two person who sworn off romances to get married out of obligation, right? but you should have known better, that keeping your heart straight from wanting someone like Kim Seokjin is next to impossible.

After Midnight by @.gyukult

Pairing: JJK x reader

jeon jungkook only likes seeing you after midnight.

Better With You by @ve1vetyoongi

Pairing: KSJ x reader

A part time job as a chef at Paradise Resort seems like the perfect way to spend your summer and save up some spare cash to open your own restaurant back home. That is until you cross paths with the CEO’s son who threatens to fire you if you don’t help him inherit his trust-fund-baby-fortune. How? By making you his fiancé. Well, his pretend fiancé at least.

Operation: Love Letters by @.ve1vetyoongi

Pairing: OT7 x reader

When every student on campus is going crazy about a survey that claims to make true love bloom, your best friend manages to convince you to join in on the fun — except you’re disappointed to find out that your results just seem to be lost causes. That is until a love letter from a mysterious secret admirer turns up and you find yourself on a mission to find the person behind the pen — but you quickly realise it’s going to be a lot harder than you initially thought when you have 7 possible bachelors to investigate, right? Operation: Love Letters a-go!

Remember Me by @.ve1vetyoongi

Pairing: OT7 x reader

Taehyung wants to be forgotten. Overwhelmed by his life as idol persona V, he longs to just be Kim Taehyung for once. Even if that means forgetting everything he ever knew

🏆  The Prince and His Rose by @vanaera

Pairing: Football player / Childhood bestfriend JJK x reader

Drabble series of “For a While”

The Heart Holiday by @.vanaera

Pairing: MYG x reader

Valentine’s Day is declared as an official holiday. However, private companies’ standards dictate it’s only for the people who are currently in a relationship. Unluckily for Y/N, she doesn’t have this year’s PRS’ (Proof of Relationship Status) “in a relationship” box ticked – the only ticket out she can have to enjoy one paid week of holiday leave away from her hellish job. And more unfortunately for Y/N, everyone around her is oh so conveniently currently committed in a relationship. Except for one person: Min Yoongi, Y/N’s biggest critic in every pitch meeting, the picky guy who always picks on her, and the most annoying jerk of the century. Desperate for that holiday leave, Y/N strikes Yoongi up with an offer: Fake date each other two weeks before February 14, just enough time for the Department of Relationship Management (DRM) to consider processing their PRSs. After Valentine’s Day, they will go back to their own ways and never speak about whatever that may happen during the plan. Good, plain, and simple. That is until, Yoongi uncharacteristically oh so enthusiastically agrees to Y/N’s offer, leaving her thinking that she may have bitten something too much more than she can chew.

My Time by @.vanaera

Pairing: JJK x reader

A future technology allows cops to jump in the past and future to investigate crimes that have happened and prepare for those that are about to happen. A simple hit-and-run turns into something more when Captain Jeon Jungkook finds himself as the victim of a culprit who cannot be identified by the system. Especially when the culprit seems to be the same person behind the new case that’s threatening the order in the justice organization. All goes haywire when Jungkook gets involved with Y/N L/N, the clairvoyant sketch artist who may be his only help to solve the case.

Lost Stars by @.hueseok

Pairing: JJK x reader

the last person you’d expect to be there for you is your roommate, jeongguk, on the night you break up with your cheating boyfriend; because as far as you’re concerned, the both of you aren’t exactly friends, and he definitely shouldn’t be running to get you upon hearing you sob via phone call.

so when he does, you begin thinking that maybe you’ve just been hard on him over the years, or perhaps he just liked pretending to be an annoying shit most of the time. either way, it becomes the beginning of an unexpected friendship finally blossoming.

Dexterity + Stupidity by @.hueseok

Pairing: JJK x reader

a drabble series that features surgical intern!jeongguk x surgical resident!reader as they go through their odd senior-junior relationship, obviously having the hots for each other and yet, frustratingly goes into twists and turns in order to properly act on it.

Crimson Grail by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: MYG x reader

There were tales of the famed pirate Min Yoongi, Captain of the Crimson Grail. However, one meeting with him is hardly ever enough… One taste of adventure, and you were addicted.

Baby Talk by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: PJM x JJK x reader

Jimin and Jungkook had been trying to get a surrogate for years. Finally when you agree to help them, their dreams seem to be coming true. But, dreams change…

Vegas, Baby by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: KTH x reader

They say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. What happens when there’s a little more legality to it than that?

Taming the Beast by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: KTH x reader

You were the next in line to be the head of your village, when your mother gave you to the enemy to save your people from merciless slaughter. What happens when they try to Tame a Beast?

Owner by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: JJK x reader

With your mother hounding on you (no pun intended), you decided to get a little help from a hybrid, who was also in need of assistance.

If Only You Knew by @agustdakasuga

Pairing: BTS x reader

From the start, you knew you wanted to be a hybrid rehabilitator. You needed to help these hybrids heal, learn to live with one another and lead normal lives. Even if they are all different, you hoped that they could give each other a new reason to live.

[air-in-words]

My Sorting Hat Chats Journey

So, hi! I'm back!

I've been doing fun stuff off in the real world, but I decided to talk a little bit about my own Sorting Hat Chats sorting journey, and how it says a lot about self-acceptance, and how understanding who you really are can sometimes only come from being an active participant in life. Here we goooo...

The Beginning

So, my initial sorting was a Burnt Badger/Bird. This had struck me, because I'd never considered myself a Badger in ANY media. I was seen by my friends as a borderline loner, someone who didn't need anyone else. And yet, all the signs were there.

Looking back on my life, I've always migrated in groups, always looked for a nesting ground, and truly that's all I want. A place to nest, a place to rest, where I can feel safe and surrounded by people who love me. But, after a childhood filled with bullying, I found myself embarrassed of my bold face need for friends, and, for some reason, decided getting too close to people for too long was unwise, so I could probably never have a permanent home. And yet, I always found myself in these little "groups," little packs of people that all travel together.

I've always had these friend groups, where everyone knows each other, we all hang out together, and yet it always manages to eventually fall apart. I asked one of my friends how this keeps happening, and who keeps setting up these groups. She blinked sort of vaguely and said, "uh, you do." It was such a strange realization to look back and see myself as the "shepherd" I was, always creating a flock wherever I went. I had always been the spoke of my friend wheels, the only one that was friends with everyone, or actively tried to be friends with everyone. And I would attempt to hold it together, but it would always ultimately shatter, and I'd leave to find and form another. Family is important to me, and it isn't enough for me to bond with one person. I like for all my friends to be friends with each other, for us all to hang out together and enjoy each other's company.

So, although I still struggle, Burnt Badger came out on top, and I believe is still at the top to this day. I still search for belonging. I still search for family. And, yet, my heart seems to have no intention of unburning. Until recently, I had no idea why.

On the other hand, the secondary I received, Bird, seemed to fit like a glove, and was very obvious to me. I've been called the Encyclopedia before, I was made fun of for being caught reading the dictionary like it was a book, and I always seem to have a "fun fact" for every occasion. And all of this seemed to flow directly into me trying to use these facts and this knowledge to win people over, to get to see me as someone that could be their friend, or that I could be reliable as a member of their "group." So, Burnt Badger/Bird simply made sense. The reasons for me avoiding unburning my primary were irrelevant.

The Now

I'd been gone from this side of Tumblr for a bit, and decided to return on a whim. Saw @wisteria-lodge still posting as much as ever, and saw a lot of my posts had been passed around in the meantime (thank ya by the way) and decided to dive back in, because since then, so much of my life has changed. I've had certain people out of my life for a while that were a hindrance on my self-acceptance, I've moved out of my childhood home, and left a job I've had for the past 5 years. I've been forced to constantly LIVE, to make choices, actual choices, and have been offered the chance to be who I truly am, unapologetically.

So, I took the quiz again, curious if I would come up any different.

I got Burnt Badger/Burnt Snake.

This time, I was almost insulted. A flush of memories, of past feelings came to me, most of all the need to push back, to insist in exasperation I'M NOT A LIAR, as though I was tired of defending myself. As hard as I tried, I somehow couldn't seem to get Bird secondary to reappear.... at all. Which was so crazy, because before, that was pretty much all I could get.

So, I went to the experts, the aforementioned wisteria-lodge and @sortinghatchats .

I looked through the Snake secondary tags and found myself lost in memories I had pushed down, so far down even I couldn't find them, wracked with shame and a need to hide this side of myself, something I'd hidden so well I'd pretty much convinced myself it had never existed.

Being a Bird had always been a choice for me. I decided that was what people must want, becoming intelligent, knowing all of these things, showing off, that would make people like me. But, although I can devour books like nobody's business, and I tend to worry and whinge before every major decision, feeling unprepared, I would always find myself falling short of my own expectations. The amount of times I'd promised myself and others to create a plan and study hard, ultimately fail to do so, and then lie to everyone about it was astounding. My public image continued to be "air-in-words the smart girl" but my private image was still LIAR and FAKE.

I would still somehow get all A's. I was very good at remembering facts and excellent at taking tests. I always thought of them like little tricks themselves, meant to trip you up, but if you paid attention, you could figure out the patterns and be able to bluster your way through stuff you might not even fully understand. You can figure out certain words through context clues, and I was always very comfortable trusting my memory with little preparation beforehand. And yet, I still lied and told everyone I'd studied, at least as a child, before high school.

Math was what eventually messed me up, and sent my self-image whirling into the ground. My grades suddenly went from straight A's to D's and F's. My parents were aghast, what had happened??? I was so intelligent, so smart, such a good student. What had gone wrong?? And, although I never admitted it outloud to them, I knew the answer. With math, you can't trick your way out. You either know how to do it and give the right answer, or you don't. And I had never studied a day in my life, never practiced, never worked hard at all. It was my horrible little secret and math had outed me. It continues to out me, because rather than actually work at it and get better, I managed to keep my grades through high school afloat by leaning on my other grades and taking remedial math courses with a teacher who loved me very much and would let me off easy. To this day, honestly, I can barely count. I might actually have some form of dyscalculia, but I know that if I were willing to try a little harder I could get better. But, why would I do that, when this way works just fine? Just coasting through? But, again, no one could know. Not even myself.

Through high school, I began letting people in on my secret Snake, because being a "slacker" was suddenly cool. I still couldn't let my parents know, or the teachers, but coming clean about not being a keener was what earned me new friend groups. I wasn't some weirdo who actually studied all the time: I was a kid who maybe did 60-70% of my homework and slid by on my good memory and general interest in learning. And my reputation. My reputation was key to my success.

College would be the thing that completely threw me to the ground. There were simply too many sirens singing at me, distractions pulling me away from my work. I'd never looked less like a Bird than in college. I was always skipping class, always not studying, and in fact, would openly fail most of my courses. And I just didn't seem to care. I slid into what I guess must have been a sort of neutral zone, but I wasn't happy. The mask was slipping off and I needed out. I couldn't keep up this charade anymore. It was stifling, trying to be a Bird, going to college for a very Bird degree, surrounded by actual Birds, it was all very much what I didn't want. I wanted something less "academic," less, well, boring. Maybe more Snake like.

And, so, here we are. Currently dropped out of college, living in an apartment with my friend, away from my parents' prying eyes, and with a new job that I chose for myself. On the brink of finally understanding myself, and maybe accepting myself as I am.

My Badger primary is burned because of my Snake secondary. Because I thought I was a sham, a liar, a con, and I didn't feel like I deserved to have people close to me. Those traits are bad, and I was a bad person. No one should be tricked by me.

But, after reading some of the stories from the experts and other Snake secondaries, I found this crazy thought, that perhaps being this way isn't a bad thing. Maybe I'm not a bad person. Maybe it's okay to be who I am. Maybe I can use these "powers" for good, and they aren't inherently evil.

So, at least for now, I'm choosing to identify as Burnt Badger/Burnt Snake with Bird Model. Seeing how it feels to accept myself and not try and force myself to be who I think I should be, or who others want me to be (which is a Snake secondary thing in the first place. Lol!)

For Fun, Here's Some Crazy Actual Snake Secondary Things I've Done That I'm Trying to Be Less Ashamed of Now

When I was little, I used to make up crazy stories about things I'd done to seem more interesting. The one that makes me cringe the most is that my uncle has a statue in his backyard that comes to life and goes on adventures with me. My uncle DID have a statue in his backyard that I really loved but no, it didn't (and still hasn't) come to life.

Some of these, I can't explain, like this one, where I somehow had more than one teacher convinced I'd handed in every piece of homework before the one I was giving them the sob story about that day. I literally had a teacher look me in the face, tell me I'd been handing in my homework really well thus far and knew I was trustworthy, so they'd let me slide with no mark against me. Meanwhile, I had missed the homework for the past THREE WEEKS IN A ROW. I just smiled and let it go. Variations of this situation happened throughout high school and college. And, no, I had no good reason not to do the homework. I just didn't want to do it. Lol.

I usually live in the "neutral state" around my close friends, since I think it's disrespectful not to be straight with them, but I have had to turn it on to help them occasionally. One of my friends was having issues with an ex of hers, she was thinking that maybe she should go back out with the guh, and I had been my blunt, neutral self the whole time, telling her flat out that that was a bad idea. But, it wasn't working. "Neutral state" isn't like a Lion's forceful natural state, I guess. So, I decided I would have to push her in a certain direction to help her get through it. I told her she should go back out with him, and although she did sort of call me out for lying, knowing I didn't actually want that, I told her she should if she really think she should. The dude didn't last one date without showing his ass again, and she thanked me for making her do that. Lol.

Finally, at least for this list, my most prized shameful memory, is when I was taking an acting class in college. We were supposed to create a wordless scene as our final, and I hadn't prepared anything, so I just skipped the day we were supposed to do them. But, I decided to show up for the last day to see if I could still somehow pass. She's going through the grades, and looks up and asks me, "I don't have anything written down for you, I can't remember, did you give a performance or not?" I knew I hadn't then, but decided to give one now. I told her yes I had done one, don't you remember came up with a name on the fly. The same friend from the last story was staring at me like she was about to burst. She thought for a moment, then exclaimed, "ah, of course! Yes, I think I remember. I remember you'd done pretty well. What grade did I give you?" I hedged my bets and said A-. Lol. I had never been filled with more pride shame in my life.

[laur-rants]

Schrodinger’s Game Theory: The Fate of Daud

Ever come up with a theory, and then halfway through creating it, the evidence changes and so you’re stuck with a lot of well-put-together ideas but nowhere to go with it?

Anyway, I did that with Daud. Lol.

I just rediscovered a whole ass rant in my drafts (which is now in the link above for private viewing and judgement PLS read it, if you’re missing some context to this post) that I clearly spent a lot of time and energy on, where I came to the conclusion that Daud in Death of the Outsider is actually a imposter/doppelganger, and it was because of the writing from the book contrasted the writing in DotO so poorly, that I came to believe this. I was like, VERY convinced prior to Billie’s book coming out that this was, in fact, a viable game theory. !00%. There was a chance that out there, somewhere, Daud was still stuck in his mind, and needed someone to come rescue him. Stranger things have happened to explain characters coming back from the dead in a video game, okay?

Somewhere along the line, though, it stopped being game theory and was more like, a fan idea. I had collected enough evidence to come to the conclusion that my theory wasn’t sound. That, and Billie’s book released, and there’s no way I could argue that. Instead, imposter!Daud moved to Fan Theory, something I could fictionally, write about, put into an AU.

But... Just because it’s probably not true in the scheme of the game doesn’t stop me from thinking about it, from wanting to talk and share those ideas with others. Even if, at the end of the day, they hold no water and it wouldn't matter because, well. If Billie’s book is to be considered post-DotO canon, then there’s no reason to believe my theory would hold weight. It wouldnt matter, because Daud well, he was left for dead either way. Nobody was coming to rescue him. I’m sure there’s plenty of questions people have in response to this, the most chief one being

“If its not Daud how is he in the Void talking to the Outsider and Billie at the end of DotO??”

And my usual response is: the end of Return of Daud saw Daud becoming trapped within his own mind, through a trap laid by witches from the very beginning of the book. That meant, even if his physical body was still, well, physical, he was trapped inside his mind.

I proposed that out of survival, well, a sliver of his mind would hole itself up in the Void, maybe even be stuck there (this is not so uncommon as it appears; think of what happened to Jessamine in the Heart). Once the spell on his mind and the Outsider were gone, the sliver could return back to his mind. And he’d still be alive.

From a gamer perspective, looking at the mechanics of the game, and everything else, it makes sense. I’m sure some people would say this theory would ‘cheapen Daud’s death’ and I would refute that by simply saying ‘all of DotO cheapened Daud’s death, and despite being a playable character in the franchise he dies unceremoniously off screen and we just take Billie’s word for his death to heart.’ Nothing cheapens a death faster in my head than ‘time to renege on this character’s entire past arch and have him die off-screen.’ His death was ruined far before they went into the Void. If anything, this would give Daud a change to explain himself. 

But I digress. I actually did do a stupid amount of research on this. And what it all really boils down to is that there was bad writing involved in DotO when it came to timeline consistency and quality checkers not checking for that, + the book having been rewritten like, twice, to keep up with what Arkane was changing in DotO in real time.

That’s post marked 9/25/18. I’ve had this theory sitting around for a long time. I enjoyed it. I find it compelling. But ultimately, it was me trying to save Daud, in my mind. Would it be cool for the witches to have stolen Daud, replaced him with a dummy body Eyeless/Envisioned, given that dummy body his memories, and then, when it had outlived it’s usefulness of sending Billie astray, the magic broke and it perished? Hell yeah it would have been cool. and honestly, according to the books, it was a viable option! They could do all those things. You can’t tell me that

Billie can steal faces,

Emily can create copies and

They witches had access to a gemstone that can make prisoners of their own mind/see the thoughts of others,

and NOT immediately think that they’d try and replicate one of the strongest Marked to ever live. The one that TRAPPED DELILAH, no less. And because the witches messed with Daud’s dreams at the beginning of the book (it’s subtle, but its there, its like, you see it on the reread sort of thing), that’s the whole reason he thinks the Outsider is supposed to die, so of course the double would fervently believe the singular obsession that brought Daud into a trap in the first place...

I’m digressing again. Anyway.

What does this mean for Dear old Daud?

It means Daud canonically died, and it was shitty and poorly written and I’ll be salty about that until the day I die because some schmuck on twitter wrote one singular essay and Harvey Smith decided ‘you. you’re the one who needs to write this story’ and then we got Corvosider fanfic in a Dishonored game and I wanted to die. It doesn’t help that this writer was notoriously pretentious and shit-stirring in the fandom at-large BEFORE their hiring-- anyway, this isn’t a salt piece on that. I AM SALTY ABOUT IT, but I’m not the person to discuss it at length. Just know that that’s why some of the narrative decisions in DotO are so out of fucking whack, and we all have to deal with it.

MOVING ON....

There is still... a very slim chance. To save Daud.

Realistically speaking, this chance will never occur. It’s clear and obvious that Arkane has no plans on returning to the Dishonored universe, so despite all these loose ends that Arkane left and all these pieces that need to be picked up and all this lore that’s been reneged on, there’s really not much of a chance that we’ll see, say, Billie, return in a game that is specifically designed to save the timelines. Which, honestly, would be fucking baller. I want a game where I play as Billie, where the shattered timespace of Dunwall is saved by her capable hand, and Emily is free to rule for decades without having to fear that the Isles will fall into the Void like it’s Deimos falling into Hell in DOOM. We KNOW the timelines are saved because we KNOW that Emily has a long and Just (or unjust, if you went high chaos lol) Rule over the kingdom. That can’t happen if, just three years down the line, Billy is running all over the place trying to make sure time doesn’t break at the seams.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Because of how Daud meets Billie in RoD, we know that a Billie three years into the future (’YOUR future,’ she tells him) is trying to save his life. There are other timelines she’s saved already, for sure. Including saving Daud in the past, saving Corvo and Emily in the past, saving Granny Rags in the past -- basically, saving all the Marked from coming to an untimely end. And then, after all that, she goes back in time and tries to save Daud, tries to save him from being poisoned by witch magic and falling into a trap that is triggered when he touches her Future version of the Twin-bladed Knife. She goes through a sort of Groundhog Day scenario, where she confesses that she’s tried hundreds of times to save him, and she couldn’t save that Daud.

But why show us Billie failing to save Daud, if she was destined for failure? Because, eventually, she must succeed.

And therein lies Daud’s (potential) salvation. Is it realizing the other Daud is an imposter? Well... let’s think of it this way. Is the Billie who regained her arm and eye an ‘imposter’ where the ‘real’ Billie is in a timeline where she lost those body parts? Is the Aramis Stilton who went mad in the basement of his mansion the imposter? Or is it the one that Emily saved and was able to keep lucid? These people aren’t ‘imposters’ to their timelines, but they kind of are to the timelines that are saved. Which means DotO could be an entirely separate ‘timeline’, one that we manage to play through and see the ending of. But the ‘true timeline’ may never be known. But at least, we know it happens, and we have Billie to thank for that.

FIN.

[minimitchell]

Thank you! I’m the one who asked about a ballum ff and there is no rush at all. It would include smut but that’s ok no 🙂 It would be Ben & callum travelling in a night bus (to somewhere) and they’d be in the very back of the bus and none of the other passengers would notice their little action time (bottom Ben straddling callum). There’s no plot lol. Callum would actually be asleep and Ben waking him, hands already all over him/under his shirt and he would have some convincing to do for Callum to be on board with it. Or something like that. Could include some funny/embarrassing moments (for Callum).Tx! .. no need to post this maybe. 😇 Or just call it the night bus request. 🚌 💕

the fantasy of you and i keeps me up awake at night (ao3 link)

sorry it took a while, anon, but here we go. also this is so outside my normal comfort zone for smut but i'm hoping y'all enjoy it anyway.

.

Taking a bus from London to Amsterdam might easily be the worst idea they have ever had.

The worst part is that there isn’t even a solid reason for them doing this. It’s not like they can’t afford a flight to Amsterdam, they definitely can. But for some reason Callum somehow managed to talk him into taking a Flixbus across the channel, just to save a few bucks. We’re homeowners now, he said. We should save money where we can, he said.

Ben kind of hates how easily he folds when it comes to his husband.

They’re about halfway through the hours-long trip, somewhere in France in the middle of the night, and the already quite empty bus is dark and mostly silent, except for that one guy near the middle who’s snoring like a small chainsaw. It seems like all the passengers are dead asleep right now - everyone except for Ben that is.

Him and Callum are in the very last row of seats; Callum in the window seat and Ben next to him. There are rows of empty seats in front of them, all the way up to the middle portion of the bus, so at least there’s some illusion of privacy. It’s definitely better than the bus being filled to the brim.

Callum is turned towards the window, a sweater bundled together to rest under his head like a pillow. He always does this on long journeys and Ben isn’t jealous of it at all, no way. He just wishes he could fall asleep in a car or on a train or on a plane, but sadly he can’t. Not like his husband can.

Ben has never been able to sleep in a moving vehicle. Ever since he was little he just couldn’t do it. It’s always too loud or not dark enough or he isn’t comfortable enough to fall asleep. Which is a pretty unfortunate circumstance when you’re trapped in a bus for hours on end in the middle of the night.

At first, he tried doing other things to keep himself entertained. He watched some videos on his phone, bothered Jay until he obviously fell asleep himself and then tried just looking out the window at the French countryside. Nothing helped alleviate his boredom and he certainly wasn’t going to spend the rest however many hours just sitting around here.

He needed something to tire him out or at least keep him occupied for some time.

And he has just the idea what that could be.

Ben leans forward into Callum’s space, letting his hand run up and down Callum’s arm, slightly shaking to get him to wake up again. He can’t have been asleep for long, or in a deep slumber yet, because he starts twitching almost immediately; that familiar crease between his eyebrows appearing like it always does right before he wakes up.

“Babe? Babe. Cal, wake up.”

There’s only a groan as a response, but Ben can tell Callum is well on his way to consciousness right now. Even if he’s probably still hoping Ben will just leave him alone if he doesn’t engage.

“What?”

Callum turns around to face him, eyes still stubbornly closed; almost like he’s planning on falling back asleep once Ben has told him whatever he wants to say. Not if Ben gets his way though.

“I can’t sleep.”

Ben can feel more than hear the annoyed sigh Callum lets out at that. He cracks one eye open, peering down at Ben beside him, and whatever he finds must convince him he’s not going to go back to sleep for a while, because the next thing he does is sit up straighter, opening both of his eyes now.

He’s probably used to it after well over two years with Ben. His inability to fall asleep on the road has come up time and time again since they got together. At first, Callum thought it was a cute little quirk; like you always do when you’re first falling for someone and everything about them gives you butterflies.

He still gets them now, the butterflies, but by now Callum is probably more than aware of the fact that Ben’s sleeplessness when travelling affects him as well. Because Ben expects to be entertained by him, or at least for Callum to stay awake with him.

For the most part, Callum is fine with that seeing as they’re never really going anywhere one of them doesn’t drive to but on rare occasions like this one, it’s pretty damn grating. Callum definitely knows they’re both going to be tired and grumpy when they arrive in Amsterdam and that isn’t really how he wants to start this little getaway.

“Have you even tried?”

Ben rolls his eyes in the dark of the bus, only illuminated by the passing streetlights outside. He’s glad it’s not enough for Callum to see his expression; he needs to be on his best behavior if he wants to convince Callum of this idea in his head.

“You could help me fall asleep, you know.”

Ben’s hand runs over Callum’s thigh and dips lower to the inseam of his sweatpants, fingertips brushing against his dick over the soft fabric. Callum doesn’t turn away from the touch, but he does lift his thigh a little so that Ben’s hand dislodges from his place against his cock.

“Ben! No.”

“Come on. No one will notice.”

He leans in close to whisper the words into Callum’s ear, making sure to dart his tongue out and trace along the lobe for good measure afterwards. He’s not above pulling out all the stops to convince Callum to do this with him right now. It might have just been a quick throwaway idea, but the more he thinks about the possibility of it the hornier he finds himself getting.

His hand dips lower again; fingers dancing up and down Callum’s shaft. This time, Callum lets him continue his actions; his dick slowly but surely hardening under Ben’s touch.

“Absolutely not.”

Callum’s protest is weak, his voice already way too breathless to be taken seriously by Ben. If he really were against this, Ben would stop immediately. But he knows his husband pretty well and he can read his body like a book. Every little reaction is telling enough for Ben.

It’s all the go-ahead he needs.

“S’not what your dick says.”

As if to prove a point, Ben tightens his hand, reveling in the hard intake of breath Callum does in response to it. He can tell his husband is trying his hardest to keep the noises in. So much so that Ben almost lets the desire to coax each sound out of Callum overtake him, damning any embarrassing consequences it could bring.

“Because you keep, hm, keep touching it.”

Ben barely manages to keep his gleeful laugh in when Callum pushes his leg out, opening his thighs wider and giving Ben better access to his dick. It means he can crowd in even closer and twist his hand just right, now firmly holding onto his husband’s length. Callum’s head tips backwards against his seat, eyes closing against the onslaught of arousal.

The taught, white skin of his neck is too inviting for Ben not to lean down and attach his mouth to it, trailing up and down.

“Ben, we can’t. Not here.”

Callum leans far enough back to catch Ben’s eyes. Ben thinks he’s trying to look stern and he’d probably succeed if Ben didn’t have his hard cock in his hand right now. The least he can do is offer him some relief.

Ben’s free hand runs up Callum’s chest, his fingers playing with the collar of his dark blue sweatshirt. He presses his nose back up against Callum’s cheek, looking up at him from under his lashes. There’s a smile playing on his face that always seems to come so naturally to him whenever he’s with Callum, even if he’s trying to be sexy right now.

“We’ll be quiet.”

“You’ve never been quiet in your life during sex.”

It’s a good point. An extremely good point considering how many pointed comments they received that period of time they were living at Stuart and Rainie’s flat. Or from Lola before that. So yeah, Callum does have a point when he says he’s not the quietest person during sex.

And it’s not like he can talk as well. Callum is incredibly noisy when he wants to be. Or rather, when he lets himself be.

Maybe Ben just needs to take it up a notch in order to get Callum on board with this.

“It’ll be a laugh. Come on, I know you, baby. You like it a little dangerous. Out in the open. Remember, I know all your fantasies, babe.”

It’s true. Ben had an inkling that there was a secret exhibitionism kink hiding behind Callum’s big innocent giant act when he had no qualms about getting hot and heavy in the park during their first intimate encounter together, but he had no idea just how much Callum gets turned on by the chance of them being interrupted or heard by someone else.

He isn’t opposed to the odd quickie in the car lot or at the Arches when Ben is supposed to be working and anyone could walk in at any time. There are times he gets his husband so riled up with little comments and strategically placed touches that he drags Ben into the toilets in the Albert to give his mouth and hands something else to do. And they’ve even revisited that park once or twice to pay a little tribute to the thing that started it all between them.

So he knows perfectly well that the thought of doing anything here, where any other person on the bus could easily wake up and figure out what exactly they’re doing, must be quite exhilarating for Callum. He can’t really play the purity card when Ben can physically feel him growing harder at his hushed words.

Like he said, he knows Callum. They’re open and honest about what turns them on and off, what they like and dislike. No one has ever known him as intimately and deeply as Callum does and Ben knows it’s the same the other way as well. Ben loves that.

It also means that he can pinpoint the exact second Callum lets himself give in and shifts into what Ben teasingly calls his sexy mode. It’s a win for Ben, for sure.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

Callum wraps his arm around Ben’s waist and tugs until Ben understands what he wants him to do. He sits himself square on Callum’s lap, legs resting on either side of Callum’s hips on the plush seats and fingers immediately finding a home in Callum’s hair, combing through the strands. He hasn’t had it cut in a while, too lazy to do it so close to their little holiday, and Ben can’t find the words to say just how much he loves it like this. He looks almost prince-like when it’s all soft and flat on his head and it’s the prettiest thing in the world to Ben.

“Thought you were gonna say I should be lucky I’m so fit.”

“Hm, that too.”

Callum’s smirk tastes a lot like bliss when their lips meet in a kiss, their tongues brushing almost immediately. Ben is trying hard to keep the sighs from escaping his throat, knowing they have to be quiet for this to go any further. But he can’t help it, kissing Callum is close to being the best thing he has ever gotten to do.

Even if he tried to convince himself otherwise at the time, Ben knew that first time they kissed each other that it was different with Callum; that it felt different with him. When their lips had met that night, he had felt it in his bones. Ben knows how rare it is to feel this way and Callum has never made him feel any different since.

Ben’s hands leave their place in Callum’s hair to travel down his chest, running over the soft fabric of his sweatshirt. He can feel the intake of breath Callum does when he reaches the edge of his sweatpants, fingers dipping under the waistband. Ben looks up to see if there’s any hesitation on Callum’s face, any sign that he isn’t one hundred percent on board with this, but Callum seems perfectly fine by the looks of it, with his eyes still closed like he wants to savor their kisses and the tips of his ears turning pink.

The grey fabric gets pushed down just enough for Ben to free Callum’s still hard cock, lazily sliding his fist up and down the shaft. Seeing Callum bite his bottom lip to refrain from making any noise at Ben’s actions fills him with a surge of heat that travels all throughout his body. Maybe they have to look more into this, if Callum’s inability to make much noise gets Ben so hot and bothered.

Right now though, he’s more concerned with getting himself undressed as well, just enough to get Callum in him. It’s a tight fit back here and Ben has to move around a fair bit to get his own pants far enough down to still be able to move on top of him. Ben has had sex in cars before so he knows how to maneuver himself, but a cramped seat on a bus is still vastly different from lying flat on your back in the backseat of a Ford.

They keep a small packet of lube in the side pocket of the backpack for situations just like this one and it turns out to be a godsend again and again, this time being no different. Ben is the first to admit he used to be a little bit slutty and while he doesn’t care for sex with anyone that isn’t Callum anymore, some remnants of that time in his life still remain. Remnants, for which having lube on hand at all times proves to be very helpful.

He’s glad Callum appreciates their spontaneity as well.

At any other time, Ben would let Callum open him up. His fingers are long and slender, thick enough to fill him just right, and they’re sure to drive him positively mad each and every time. Callum knows where and when to drag, to go fast or when to let Ben catch his breath to keep him teetering just on the brink.

But space is limited as it is and it’s easier for Ben to reach down and open himself up. Besides, seeing the way Callum’s face shifts into open hunger and desire as he watches Ben touch himself more than makes up for the lack of his husband’s fingers in him. There’s so much heat and open amazement for Ben in his eyes, it makes Ben breathless with want for the man in front of him.

The air around them feels thick and stuffy; charged in the best way possible. Ben keeps his lips firmly pressed together, effectively trapping in any sounds threatening to escape; his free hand digging into the skin of Callum’s biceps, making dents in the skin. They could easily be the only two people in this bus, in the world, right now. It feels like it; it always does.

Everything is zeroed down to just them when they’re together like this, like nothing else matters except for them making the other feel good. And he wants nothing more right now than to make Callum feel absolutely wrecked.

Ben detracts his fingers when he feels like he’s at least somewhat ready, reaching out to coat Callum’s dick with the excess lube on his hand. Before he can wrap his fingers around Callum’s length though, he’s stopped by a hand on his chest, causing him to catch his husband’s eyes almost immediately.

“Wait.”

Ben is about to climb down from Callum’s lap, thinking he has changed his mind about this and wanting to give him space, but Callum keeps him seated with a hand on his hip now. Instead, he’s leaning down himself, his other hand disappearing in the backpack still sitting in the space under their seat.

“What?”

The confusion doesn’t lift when Callum eventually finds what he must have been looking for, unearthing two condoms from somewhere in the bag. They obviously haven’t used condoms in ages but they still keep some just in case. Better than throwing them away, right? Ben just doesn’t understand what Callum wants with them now.

“I’m not about to get cum on this bus. And neither are you.”

Ben doesn’t really care about it, but he’s not going to start arguing with his husband when he’s this close to getting lucky. Callum could probably ask him to wear a clown costume and Ben would do it if it meant he’d get fucked by Callum in a timely manner. He’s that whipped for his husband’s dick.

He lets Callum roll the condom onto his dick, suppressing the moan clawing itself up his throat when Callum runs his fingers up and down the length of it for good measure. Maybe having to be completely silent while he’s getting laid is going to be more difficult than Ben had first thought.

Before Callum can put the condom on himself though, Ben stops him to do the honors himself, coating Callum’s dick with the excess lube still covering his other hand. He sinks down as slowly as he can, almost drawing blood from how hard he’s biting down on his bottom lip to keep quiet.

The fabric of Callum’s sweatpants is a stark contrast to his smooth skin and the feeling is simultaneously alien and exhilarating. They don’t have a lot of clothed sex, not like this anyway, and the almost foreign feeling against his bare ass is another stimulant for Ben’s already overloaded brain, all mixing together to create a mess of heightening arousal.

Ben eventually bottoms out, head tipped back and mouth open on a silent gasp. He can feel Callum’s heaving breaths where he’s pressed against him, his chest rising and falling in quick tempo.

“You good?”

Callum mumbles the words into Ben’s own shirt, pressed against his sternum. He sounds wrecked from just those two, little words; out of breath and completely wild. It’s one of the best sounds Ben ever got to hear; topped among other things only by Callum’s uninhibited moans when Ben makes him feel especially good.

Ben’s head tips back forward to nod at his husband, sealing their mouths back together when he begins to move. The rise and fall of his hips pushes sounds from him that he stifles by pressing his firmly-closed lips against Callum’s with all his might. Callum’s hands are fisted in Ben’s shirt, bunching up the back and wrinkling the dark red fabric.

It’s fucking good - it always is with Callum, better than anything he’s known before - but when Callum moves to adjust their bodies to meet Ben’s thrusts halfway, it becomes a little too good. On the next down movement, Callum thrusts up as well and the subtle change in their position means he’s now able to hit deeper, nudging right against that spot that makes Ben see stars.

Callum must be able to sense what this is doing to Ben, must be able to read his body and its tells better than he does himself, because he reaches around to clamp a hand over Ben’s mouth, pushing one finger in for Ben to bite down on it, nipping the scream that’s about to topple out of his mouth in the bud before it can be unleashed.

It would be a miracle if no one heard his moan, even muffled by Callum’s hand over his mouth, and Ben thinks they can really count themselves lucky if they didn’t manage to wake anyone up with it. He’d be more preoccupied with it, if he weren’t so trapped in the feeling of pure pleasure overtaking every nerve-ending in his body.

He’s panting hot against Callum’s hand now; heat spreading in his belly to announce his impending orgasm hurtling closer and closer. It doesn’t feel fair to Ben that he’s the only one struggling to contain his moans though; he thought Callum would have a lot more difficulties holding back.

It’s a good thing he knows Callum better than anyone; knows exactly what makes him lose control. It’s definitely a dirty trick to play but the whole reason they’re doing this right now is because they like it a bit dirty, right? So Ben doesn’t exactly feel bad when he lets one of his hands wander down to Calum’s chest, expertly finding his left nipple. He clamps his other hand over Callum’s mouth before he pinches his fingers, reveling in the way Callum’s hips involuntarily buck upwards in response.

Callum lightly bites the palm of his hand in retaliation and Ben can’t help but smile at it, even in the midst of heavy passion. He just really loves it when Callum is being silly and playful with him. Especially during sex.

The smile quickly dies down though when Callum’s free hand wraps around Ben’s cock, setting a punishing rhythm. Ben isn’t sure when this became seeing who can make the other come first, but he isn’t complaining. Not at all.

Not when it means he gets to feel that burning sensation take over his entire body, his muscles tensing and then relaxing as the waves of his climax wash over him. He must pinch Callum’s nipple again in his haze of pleasure, because he bucks into Ben again once, twice before he’s also coming. The hand that just moments ago had coaxed Ben’s orgasm out of him now snakes around his middle to pull him closer into Callum’s body.

They’re so close they might as well be one entity, one sole person. Their hands fall from each other’s mouths, wrapping around any skin they can reach to unite the two of them in a tight hug. Ben tucks his head into the crease of Callum’s neck, waiting until the tremors subside and their breathing returns to a normal pace.

It takes a lot longer than Ben would like to admit for him to regain the feeling in his legs enough to dismount and fall into the seat beside Callum again. He has just enough brainpower to take the condom off and tie it, thankful for Callum taking it off of him because he would have no idea how or where to get rid of it right now.

He pulls his pants and underwear back up, trying to make himself look at least a bit presentable, but his movements feel slowed down; his limbs already being pulled under the mantle of sleepy exhaustion.

Ben is still too out of it to notice what exactly Callum does to get rid of the condoms but whatever it is, it only takes him a few moments until he leans back into the seat, putting on his own clothes again as well.

“You okay, darlin’?”

“Hm. Tired.”

Callum lets out a quiet chuckle, pulling Ben into his side, letting him tuck himself into his body. He’s definitely all too aware of the fact that Ben always conks out almost immediately after sex and Ben feels his eyes fall shut as soon as his head is pillowed on Callum’s chest.

The last thing he’s conscious of is Callum pressing a kiss to his forehead, mumbling something about getting Ben to shut up, before finally, finally, falling asleep for the remainder of their journey.

He’ll have to keep this in the back of his mind for the ride back.

[fruitpixel]

💜 Underdogs of Kpop Idol Challenge 💜

I love BTS and I got inspired to create a challenge based on how they got started! The BTS aspects are optional so that ARMYs can do them if they want, and others who just want to play a general kpop/idol challenge can skip them and still have fun. This challenge has many rules and guidelines, but they’re very flexible!

Here's a glimpse of the story:

You recently left your old company to start your own record label. In your early years, you were near bankruptcy. Now, you’re looking for some fresh faces to restart your company and keep your business afloat.

**Optional aspects marked with an asterisk* and bolded text.

**Requires Get Famous and City Living. Get Together would make it easier but it’s not necessary.

**I suggest reading through the challenge once before playing so you get a good idea of what’s expected of the challenge and you won’t be surprised by new aspects as they come up.

**Disclaimer: I use he/him pronouns when referring to the trainees because I’m thinking of the BTS members as I write this. However, there are no gender or life state requirements for this challenge!

If you decide to play, please tag me! I would love to see your gameplay :)

Also let me know if there’s anything I should add or change!

Have fun! 💜

You recently left your old company to start your own record label. In your early years, you were near bankruptcy. Now, you’re looking for some fresh faces to restart your company and keep your business afloat.

To start the challenge, you will be playing as the CEO of your own entertainment company.

Purchase a lot no bigger than 30x20. You are starting off small, but you will need to have room for your studio and a place for your 7 trainees* to live and practice.

(You can have between 4-7 trainees, depending on how difficult you want it to be, and if you are playing a BTS based challenge. You can also use mods to increase your household size, but I wouldn’t recommend it as it will be hard to juggle more than 7, plus your CEO).

*BTS lived in dorms near their studio, so you could build a dorm on the same lot but separate from the main building. But you can do this however you want as long as their on the same lot.*

You may start off with as much money as you need to buy yourself the following items AND NOTHING MORE:

Mix Master Music Station

More Views Video Station

A drone (begin with the cheapest one and you may upgrade later)

Start with one of each, you may add more later.

Practice room big enough to fit all 8 sims

A studio for music production and practice

A small dorm with 2 bedrooms that MUST be able to fit all 7 trainees, kitchen, bathroom, etc. using the mediocre furniture and appliances. Think “tiny house for 8 sims challenge” lol.

You can upgrade appliances and furniture as you accumulate money, but try not to make major renovations to the building or dorms yet. Trainees can buy personal items like games, books, etc.

Your own living space - Remember when building, you're on the verge of bankruptcy!

After you’re done building, cheat your money down to 1,000. You are a brand spanking new CEO coming from humble beginnings, so you won’t have much money to begin with.

Next, you will need to recruit your first trainee:

*an underground rapper who although had a bright academic future, decided to pursue his passion in music. You invited this trainee to audition after hearing about him from your friend.

In order to recruit this trainee:

*LOGIC SKILL needs to be at least level 3

MEDIA PRODUCTION SKILL needs to be at least level 2

Get to know him! So you can add him to your household after completing the skill requirements. You may want to develop the CHARISMA skill to help with this

*TRAINEE 1 traits: genius, gloomy, music lover

TRAINEE 1 aspiration: world famous celebrity

He finally agreed to join your company!

Every time you recruit a new trainee, you should do this:

Take pictures of them to post on Simstagram and sell to publishers.

Idols as trainees are generally not allowed to have social media, so you will have to be in charge until they are prepared to manage their own online presence (after all 7 trainees are recruited).

Make sure to become good enough friends with each of your trainees to be able to add them to your household.

If you have Get Together, have him form a group and name it your group’s name (for example: BTS, BlackPink, etc.) He will have to invite each trainee to this group since you are not in the group. It’s a good idea to start gatherings as often as possible while skill building so you can have enough points to add more members.

While you only have this one trainee:

Produce 1 song and 1 “music video” for him.

To make a music video, just use a drone to record the trainee dancing or doing anything you want your music video to be about. You need some money, so don’t forget to edit and release them!

Also take this time to have him practice producing his own music. One day he will be an incredible producer and rapper, so make sure to hone his skills!

Before recruiting the next trainee, make sure he is at least level 2 of the MEDIA PRODUCTION skill.

It’s important to note at this point that each of your trainees should be exercising and eating healthily to prepare for their long days and nights of practicing, so you should work on your cooking skill and possibly your own fitness skill so you can provide them balanced meals and train them properly.

You may change their appearances during training if you want to, but remember they are coming from humble beginnings and won’t have much money to buy fancy clothes.

Also, no relationships until after debut! Trainees have to focus on making a strong debut and securing a loyal fanbase!

You will now hold your very first audition to recruit more trainees. To prepare for this:

Level up your MEDIA PRODUCTION SKILL to at least 3

CHARISMA SKILL to at least 4

While you’re at it, pick up any instrument you want and start working on those skills. You will need to be able to write songs for your trainees eventually.

To hold auditions, travel around your world, looking for sims you want to come to your audition. Make sure you have a high enough relationship with them so you can invite them to hang out with you. For rappers and singers, use the karaoke machines. For dancers, try having a dance battle or have sims dance to music.

You will hold an audition looking for another rapper. Choose the best auditionee.

*He was also an underground rapper who struggled to make his mark known. Thanks to you, he will have that opportunity!

*TRAINEE 2 traits: perfectionist, loner, music lover

TRAINEE 2 aspiration: world famous celebrity

Produce TWO SONGS and TWO MUSIC VIDEOS for each trainee

Make sure to keep honing their skills!

Both trainees:

MEDIA PRODUCTION level 3

Pick up an instrument each to be able to write songs and lyrics

*The second trainee should pick up the piano skill.

DANCING level 2

It’s audition time again! This time, you’re looking for a dancer.

If you have Get Together, find a way to get the auditionees to show you their moves. The sim with the best dance moves will be your next trainee! (If you don’t have Get Together, you can decide who your next trainee from the audition will be in any way you want).

*TRAINEE 3 traits: dance machine, cheerful, music lover

TRAINEE 3 aspiration: world famous celebrity

Produce TWO SONGS and TWO MUSIC VIDEOS for each of them.

Keep them honing those skills! Before recruiting new members:

Trainees 1&2:

DANCING level 2

MEDIA PRODUCTION level 4

Trainee 3:

DANCING level 3

MEDIA PRODUCTION level 3

Auditions season has passed, but you’re still short 4 members for your group!

Travel around your world and see if you can find any sims with that star potential.

Find someone that has star-worthy looks and convince him to join your company.

Before he can join your company:

MEDIA PRODUCTION level 4

CHARISMA level 6

*You may also want to work on your COMEDY skill along the way, but this is not required.

Make sure your INSTRUMENT SKILL is high enough to write music, and why don’t you get started on your SINGING SKILL too? You’ll need to be able to write lyrics for your singers!

He trusts you enough and has decided to join your company!

He had no skills prior to joining, however, so you will have to work with him on his singing and dancing skills a little more closely. *He’s also extremely handsome. But this is neither here nor there :)

Before moving on to the next round of auditions:

Trainee 4:

SINGING level 3

DANCING level 3.

*TRAINEE 4 traits: foodie, goofball, music lover

TRAINEE 4 aspiration: world famous celebrity

Remember to keep up their fitness skill and healthy diet!

This is where things start to get a little interesting:

Trainees 1-3:

Produce two songs each and release them

Trainee 3:

MEDIA PRODUCTION level 4

DANCING maxed out

As for you:

Produce TWO SONGS for each of your trainees

Produce TWO MUSIC VIDEOS TOTAL before you recruit more trainees.

While watching TV, you spot a young boy with so much potential that you just had to have him in your group. Go travel around your world and find him to be your next main vocalist.

Before recruiting him:

SINGING level 6

MEDIA PRODUCTION maxed out

CHARISMA level 8

Continue working on your instrument skill! A CEO should be good at every aspect if he wants to succeed.

Your 5th trainee has finally joined your company!

This trainee will be your Center, the Face of your group, your big money maker, if you will.

*This trainee and all trainees moving forward will still be teenagers and will need to go to school. Trainee 5 is the youngest member. You can implement this or not, up to you.

If you choose to implement this, make sure all the teenagers have an A grade in school before debut.

Before moving on to the next round of auditions

Trainee 5:

SINGING level 3

DANCING level 3

*TRAINEE 5 traits: dance machine, good (musical genius when he ages up)

TRAINEE 5 aspiration: world famous celebrity

Before the next audition:

Trainees 1-3:

Produce THREE SONGS each and release them.

All trainees:

Continue practicing DANCING and SINGING.

As for you:

Produce TWO SONGS for each of your trainees

Write TWO SONGS total on your instrument.

SINGING level 8

This is the second to last audition of the year! Hold auditions for another vocalist. The sim that sounds the best to you will be your next trainee!

Trainee 6:

SINGING level 3

DANCING level 3

*TRAINEE 6 traits: clumsy, music lover, (cheerful after aging up)

TRAINEE 6 aspiration: world famous celebrity

Trainees 1-3:

Produce 3 songs each and release them

If their INSTRUMENT skill is high enough, they can WRITE ONE SONG each; if not, continue having them practice until they can before the last audition.

If their SINGING skill is high enough, have them WRITE LYRICS on their instrument. If not, continue having them practice until they can before the last audition.

MEDIA PRODUCTION maxed out before the last audition

Trainee 3

DANCING maxed out before the last audition

All trainees

SINGING level 5 before the last audition

As for you:

Produce TWO SONGS for each of your trainees

Write TWO MORE SONGS on your instrument.

SINGING level 9, or you can max it out at this point if you wish. You yourself are not a singer, but you will be expected to write and compose songs for your trainees, so it’s important!

The time has come for the LAST SimHit audition of the year! Your goal is to find the last trainee for your rookie group; the last piece of the puzzle.

Have each auditionee sing and dance for you. The best sim will be your next and final trainee!

Make sure this trainee gets along well with the other trainees. In fact, make sure they all get along well. They’ll be working and living together every single day!

*TRAINEE 7 traits: dance machine, perfectionist, (music lover after aging up)

TRAINEE 7 aspiration: world famous celebrity

For the final phase of training:

Trainees 1-3:

Produce TWO SONGS each

Write TWO SONGS each

Write lyrics once each

All trainees except trainee 3:

DANCING level 4 (trainee 3 should be maxed out by this point)

Trainees 1-3 except trainee 2:

INSTRUMENT level 5

Trainee 2 should be maxed out in *piano at this point

Trainees 4-7:

Write ONE SONG each on the computer or their instrument

Write lyrics once each

All trainees:

SINGING level 8

As for you:

Produce ONE SONG for each trainee

MEDIA PRODUCTION, INSTRUMENT, and SINGING maxed out if not already

FINALLY! You finally have all your trainees ready to debut as a rookie group! Your trainees are ready to become established idols now. All there’s left to do is produce some pre-debut content...

Go busking 4 times, once at the beginning of each season. Take pictures to post!

You may buy busking equipment if you wish but I don’t think it’s necessary.

Take updated pictures of each member individually to sell and post to Simstagram.

At this point, your trainees can post to Simstagram and dive into their social media presence.

No sponsorships, no brand deals, no merchandise, etc. until after debut.

Try to take a group picture of all 7 members together to sell and post.

If not possible:

First 3 trainees together

Last 4 trainees together

Produce 3 songs, write 3 songs, and produce 3 music videos, one for each of these sub-units:

*Trainees 1, 2, and 4

*Trainees 3, 5, and 7

*Trainees 3, 5, 6, and 7

All trainees - SINGING and DANCING maxed out

Before the fan meeting, make sure your trainees are at least level 7 in the CHARISMA skill.

Host a fan meeting to announce your debut! Make a good impression on your fans, they’ll be with you guys through thick and thin.

This can be done by having one of the members hold a meet and greet but have all members attend.

Use fan meetings to increase your reputation; idols should always be good influences for their fans, and your idols are the best around!

At this point, you can update their looks in CAS to prepare them for their debut. Your trainees have been preparing for hours and hours, working on their singing, dancing, and music making so they can have a strong debut. They’re no longer your doe-eyed trainees. Now they will be the monster rookies that all the other idol groups are jealous of.

You may also renovate your building and the dorms with the money you have accumulated at this point.

You could have also done renovations as you accumulated money if you prefer it that way, but for the sake of the “underdog” storyline, renovate all at once at this point!

For the debut:

Have your idols busk from 12-8 and produce 2 music videos with all of them in it.

You should produce TWO SONGS.

Trainees 1-3 produce ONE SONG EACH

Hold a fan meet and greet (this will be the debut showcase).

Merch, sponsorships, brand deals, etc. can begin after the debut showcase.

Congratulations! You’ve created an idol group that will exceed everyone’s expectations!

*You can end this challenge after their debut, or you can choose to keep playing. The final end to this challenge will be when all your idols reach level 5 fame and the highest good reputation possible.

Should you choose to continue, you should follow this schedule for future comebacks and promotions:

Each season is a new comeback season. You need to schedule 4 things to do at the start of every season:

Have the whole group go busking from 12-8 in their home world (ex. if your lot is in Willowcreek, busk somewhere there).

Have the whole group travel (or vacation) in a different world and busk from 12-8 (ex. vacation in Mt. Komorebi and busk somewhere there). Give them a day or two to have fun and explore if possible!

For these, 5 new songs must be prepared and 2 music videos must be produced.

You may produce one for them if you want to, but trainees 1-3 should produce the rest.

Being an idol is definitely rewarding, but it is definitely not easy. Sims are lucky that they only need to do this once a week.

Host a meet and greet some time during the year, every year. This will be like the fan meetings.

Attend the Starlight Accolades whenever they come up, despite being nominated or not.

After doing 2-3 years with this schedule, you may renovate your building and dorms again. Or you can renovate as you go, like before.

After a few more years, you can move your idols into their own homes. Add yourself to the group to be able to start club gatherings everyday on your lot.

For those of you who are ARMYs, you can continue the challenge even after reaching the highest level of fame and reputation. You already know what each of their passions and interests are so you can change their traits and aspirations as you see fit (Namjoon would love the outdoors, Taehyung would be interested in art, etc.) and continue playing their story.

Enjoy!

[kusagrasskusa]

Light X Detective! Reader - "I am Kira"

Summery- Y/N is a teenager given the honor of working for the task force and is with the few who agreed to work in the Kira case. Both while discussing L and on her way to go to the hotel to meet L, she bumps into Light. They get along and have a two minute conversation before she's pulled away by Aizawa. Her biggest flaw is her incapability to shut up, so she sorta explains how she (rather than Pember's fiance) believes Kira can in many ways...

Sorry for the "read more" being so high up lol. When I look through hashtags, I hate it when there's an entire story I already read to scroll past before I can see new ones :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I just don't understand," Y/N huffed as she pushed her hair behind her ear. She clinched the papers in her hand and furrowed her eyebrows together while rereading all the reports that were concluded to be caused by Kira. She sat in a cold room, in a chair that wouldn't warm up, with a bunch of officers who were equally as ignorant and annoyingly loud as the next. A lot of them distrust L as well, creating an unwanted tension that bothers everyone.

"Excuse me, sir," called a brunette boy to another brunette. Okay, maybe not everyone is annoying and ignorant; Matsuda and the Cheif were alright. Y/N smiled to herself as she looked at the two congregating. It's nice to see these two making the atmosphere brighter, she thought. There's been a lot of stress since no one can even began to image how Kira is even existing right now. Whether it's a single person or a group, how can they kill someone from anywhere? Alchemy isn't even real, so how?

And before she knew it, two hours of nothing went by. That is, until, three officers went up to the Cheif and set stuff down on the table. "Sir, we're resigning from the Kira investigation."

The cheif stood up, wide eyed, "why!"

"Because we value our lives! Kira has made it clear that he'll stop whoever gets in his way! We have a family at home and we aren't going to give it up!" One explained, taking deep breaths. The Cheif was silent for a moment before sighing, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Take your badges. I completely understand your decision." The cheif stood up, looking around the room. "I want everyone who wants to leave the Kira investigation to stand up. You won't be fired but rather transfered to another case." And just like that, nearly every single person in the case stood up, looking around each other disappointly. Y/N looked around her, glaring at the men around her. Wow, she thought, and I was called weak for being a "little girl."

As people made their decisions on whether to leave, or stay, or whatever, Y/N simply stacked her papers and cleaned her desk. The one she shared her desk had left, so she had a lot more space to put her paperwork. To be honest she didn't really like him all that much; it's random but that man would make the most jokes about Y/N's age and gender. She was the only female and being surrounded by a bunch of guys called for many conversations focusing on how she would interact with people, as if her gender is a defining quality to ever conversation.

But thank God that's over with. As Y/N looked around the room, her eyes widened as her eyebrows furrowed. "What? Like everyone left!" She called out, counting the people left. Masuta chuckled from across the room and she received a disapproving glance from Aizawa. Well, thank God these two stayed. She would be so alone with someone to joke with and another to keep an eye on her.

Aizawa is almost like an older brother/father figure of sorts, which is hella comforting. Matsuda and Y/N have never met before their job, not even happened to lassby each other at any point in their life, yet as soon as they saw each other, they knew each other very well. Immediately they kicked it off and eventually he found a way to convince the cheif that she's worthy of being here with him. He may have even brought up Light to make the cheif feel more personalized. It worked somehow.

The few remaining in the office stood up to acknowledge each other better. And when L finally spoke up from the computerin the back of the room, it was time for the debate on whether we trust him or not. Y/N, the Cheif, Matsuda, and Ukita seem to trust L a lot. Aizawa and Ide seem distrustful, and Mogi is neutral. When L released them to go discuss their views on him, everyone was eager to go.

On the way outside, a smile hung on Y/N's features as she walked alongside Matsuda. He didn't exactly share her energy as he rather just stared at the ground with a look of questioning. "This is a good thing y'know? It finally means we have the chance of a lifetime: to meet L. He would know how to keep us safe so we would never end up like the FBI agents!" Y/N whispered to him, making a small look of relief cross his features. He smiled at her and nodded.

Just a little into the conversation, the group had already began to trust L at least a little bit more. A few minutes later, L was given them directions on how to find him. Like hell I will write this all out, so just know that this happened the same way it did in the anime :). Y/N smiled widely, gripping Matsuda's sleeve and giggling quietly to herself. "This is amazing! We get to finally meet the L!"

"Calm down, L/N-san," Aizawa scolded, sending her a disapproving look. Y/N giggled at his stern face, shaking her head. She leaned on Matsuda's shoulder.

"Come on, 'Zawa! You're not excited? Not everyone gets to do this, y'know," she replied. Chief Yagami sighed and rolled his eyes at her childish behavior.

~~~

Y/N walked the dark streets with Aizawa by her side. She's humming to herself before breaking into a light sing, "hirogaru yami no naka-"

"Do you ever be quiet?" Aizawa asked. Y/N shook her heard before continuing to sing. But this time, she spread her arms out and moved more, dancing to the rhythm of the song. "Stop it, you child! You're gonna draw attention to us!"

"No I won't~ After all, it's the middle of the night," she replied as she pointed around the empty streets with the exception of 3 pass-bys. "No one is gonna care about a stupid little schoolgirl with her "dad" walking around when their tired and want to go home." Oh, in order to keep up a lie that Y/N is related to Aizawa, they found it easier for her to dress in a schoolgirl outfit. After all,, it's a Wednesday so people would think she would have to go to school, meaning she was young enoigh to be his daughter. "It's not like I'm gonna run into someone, eit—" Pffb!

Y/N fell onto the ground and landed in on the pavement. She hit her head on a metal door when she was walking and somehow didn't see it; well, maybe that's because someone opened the door. "Sorry! I didn't see you there," called a soft, masculine voice. He extended his hand towards the girl who was rubbing the mark on her forehead. She looked up at him either an apologetic look as she took his hand and he pulled her to her feet.

"No, I apologize. I, um, wasn't looking," she responded. Her face was pink with embarrassment so she kept her head low. After all, how does one recover from embarrassing themselves in front of someone so damn attractive?

"Look what you did; I told you this would happen. I'm sorry, sir, for you— Light?" Aizawa asked with a questioning look on his features. The brunette boy smiled at Aizawa, waving.

"It's me, haha. Sorry, I'm not very good with faces. What's your name?" He kindly asked. Y/N looked up at him and admired his features. He looked so calm and collected that it was admiring to her.

"Aizawa," is all he said before Light nodded in remembrance.

"Nice to see you again, sir. Is this your daughter? She looks lovely," Light complimented as he turned towards the short girl, whose face remained as pink as before if not worse. She bit her bottom lip, looking up at him at waving.

"My name is Y/N, nice to meet to you Light," she responded with a bow of her head. Light bowed his head simultaneously with that calm smile never leaving his face. "Sorry again, haha. I'm sorta a clutz," she continued.

Light shook his head and scratched the back of his neck. "No need to be so worried, Miss Y/N. All's forgiven. Actually, I'm rather glad we did bump into each other like that. You're a sweet woman," he replied. Y/N chuckled nervously and felt his charisma hit her deep in the soul.

"I hate to break up you and your boyfriend," Aizawa stepped in. "But we have to get going. It was nice seeing you Light." Light nodded in understanding and YN posted her lip, though also understanding. She looked back at Light, smiling.

"Well, I hope to see you again, Light. Bye for now," she said her goodbyes as Light did the same to her before hey parted ways. "He's cute," she simply stated as Aizawa rolled his eyes.

"You teenagers and your weird romances..."

~~~

Y/N laid there; her books spread out on a table and her head in her arms, breathing softly as she stayed asleep. She was only allowed to work 4 days a week with the task force and this would be one of those days where she had to study hella hard since she wouldn't be able to every Monday and Tuesday. She's in a few advanced classes and they've been getting harder now that she can't focus all her attention on her classes. But damn, she was so tired today! But even so, a simple poke on the back woke her up.

"Excuse me ma'am, are you alright?" A soft voice asked. She stirred around before looking over at the owner of that voice, furrowing her eyebrows together. "Y/N?"

"Light?" Y/N asked, her face turning red in embaressment. "Oh! I'm sorry, were you going to sit here?" She asked eagerly as she gathered her things and put them in together as fast as possible.

"Oh no! I was just checking to see if you were okay, so please do whatever," Light responded. Y/N continued to blush as she mumbled an oh before setting her things back down.

"Sorry, haha... I sometimes get sorta caught up in my studies," she admitted, earning a chuckle from Light.

"No worries. I'd be glad to help if needed. What grade are you in?" Light asked as he set his coffee down on the table, sitting down besides her.

"Senior year. 18 and still can't grow up," she added a self depreciating comment as she rubbed her tired eyes and yawned. Light shook his head, brushing his hand in the air to singal "it's okay".

"No need to be so harsh on yourself. After all, everyone learns in a different way and perhaps the way you're teaching yourself isn't the right way. Instead of reading equations and writing down answers, let's try drawing out pictures of those equations and adding references." Light took the pencil from her side and and began to draw and write put several equations and problems. Needless to say, in about an hour, Y/N had understood every single thing she had worked on.

"You're doing great," Light complimented as he looked over Y/N's paper. Y/N giggled nervously, a Light blush coming to her cheeks.

"Thanks, with your help though," she replied. Light shook his head and handed back the paper.

"Not at all. I just showed you a new technique and told you what you got wrong. It was all you." Y/N thanked him once more before taking a sip of her coffee. It was maybe 9am by now and perhaps she should get going.

"It's getting a bit late. I need to go home soon," she spoke sadly. Light nodded, standing up from the table while Y/N collected her things. "Thanks again, by the way. Especially for staying with me for, like, an hour. That must be hard, heh heh."

Light chuckled, shaking his head. "You need to belive in yourself a little more, y'know. However, anyways, I suppose we should get going now. It was nice seeing you again, Y/N. I look forward to our next encounter." They walked each other out the door before finally saying their last goodbye and parting ways.

~~~

In no time, Light was part of the police task force as well. Side by side Y/N, who graduated with him, someone who he had got close to since their first visit in the cafe. Hell, this far into each other's company and how close they must be true to work, some may even say there's love. Light was that tall, sweet, intelligent, caring boy who never breaks in situations. Y/N was that kind, self-deprecating, cheerful but can be serious, smart, and thorough girl who looks as dumb as a rock. They're very similar in some places and different in others, which is the perfect mix.

"To be honest," Y/N sighed. "I'm really starting to doubt L. He focuses on you way too much, and we really don't have time for that. People are being killed everyday and nothing's being done to stop it." Light nodded, sighing as well. They sat on the top stairs of the roof of the headquarters. "And Kira's supporters give me mixed feelings as well. I understand that what Kira is doing seems righteous, I truly do. They say how these people were never the hero so why should they live? They should live because they shouldn't have to be heroes."

Y/N couldn't help but vent her feelings. After all, a tragic incident had happened to he recently so she couldn't help it. Light picked up on her way more serious attitude towards the investigation and asked what's pushing her so hard. After a little persuasion, he got her to talk about it in a private place. The whole time, she was trying her best to hold in tears when she spoke. "It's bothering me that these supporters think their morally right for thinking the way they do... My uncle, he was killed by Kira last week. And these supporters, they laugh and taunt him because hehe made a mistake when he was young," Y/N hissed, her tears threatening to fall.

"My uncle didn't mean to do it! He was friends with an officer who came over to his house for a party! They got drunk and my uncle wanted to scare awake his friend using a gun he thought was unloaded. He got to watch his best friend's head explode all over his fucking house, all because of a stupid mistake? I was 5 years old, going to the prison every week to him for the little amount of time I could. The officers who would search the visitors knew me; she knew me and who I was going to see, a kindergartener who was scared and hurt by the loss of her uncle. Due to the shooting being accidental, he had less time to serve. And that day, that day where he'd be free, Kira did it. It's fucking disgusting."

Light listened with a frown on his face, patting her back and she hugged her knees and began to cry. It's a shame, really. He sat out there with her for maybe two more minutes before she calmed down.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Y/N. I had no idea," Light spoke sadly, frowning. Y/N shook her head a smile forming on her face. It was clearly force and unhappy, but at least it made Y/N cry less.

"No, no, don't be. I kinda should've expected this. My uncle was a great, funny guy and I wish the world knew that. But anyway," Y/N wiped her tears as she stood up. She extended a hand for Light to take, which he did with a soft smile on his features, and pulled him up. A soft blush hit she cheeks when a

[evitachristine]

Anti-Hophie Rant

So I finally finished reading One True King, and this is what I have to say. It’s long. 

WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!

Before I get into this, just a small warning: If Hophie is your OTP and embodiment of perfection, this text is not for you. I will not argue with anyone, alright?

To start this off, in my opinion OTK is the weakest of the series. It just feels like a connection between the last book and the fact that Tedros has to become the King. Some might argue that the second book was the worst, well, I disagree. It’s not just because Hophie happens here, but I kind of believe that when the internet spoiled to me that my hated ship was going to happen (because I had to wait until the book comes out in my country), I was expecting more from it. That I would actually be convinced it’s meant to be, which didn’t happen. Also the execution of some characters (Ahem...Merlin) was just...why. It seemed to me that there were a lot of other fan services in this book, apart from Hort and Sophie getting together, but more about that later. 

 I need to remember this for good, and next time I become a fan of something, I will avoid its fanbase. I do not mean to offend anyone, but a fanbase can really ruin a platform, especially when the platform is still developping and the fanbase is influencing it, which I believe did happen a lot with SGE. I will not deny that a fandom can improve such thing - that is definitely true as well - but sometimes the line between improving and ruining is slim, and if it doesn’t ruin the platform, then it might ruin a couple of fans’ experience of it. 

Now to the point of me hating Hophie.

As I mentioned in my previous post, and above. When I discovered the fandom and found out that people are shipping Hort and Sophie, I asked myself “But why? Sophie doesn’t like Hort.” and I kind of thought this was a joke or a meme ship. I always ship characters where both sides have at least a visible bit of attraction towards each other. Whether its friends to lovers or enemies to lovers. Hophie, until the last book and half, was not the case. It was a typical example of unrequited crush, Sophie once only used Hort to make Tedros jealous. But if my mind isn’t tricking me, she was always disgusted by him and even during their first encounter, he attempted to harass her! And the fact that “they were still kids back then” is not an excuse to me. 

Allow me to make a slight turn from SGE. When I was about 8-10, my mum took me to see an opera called Turandot. I will not bother you with opera, but long story short: A princess is very beautiful and a lot of men want to marry her. So she is giving everyone three questions, if they answer incorrectly, they are executed. Everyone are getting executed until a prince in disguise arrives and is in love with her, answers all questions correctly. Princess doesn’t want to marry him tho, so he asks her to guess his name and if she succeeds, he will gladly die. The princess doesn’t feel love at all and doesn’t want to fall in love. She believes she is a saint. Then in a dramatic duet the prince kisses her and ALL OF SUDDEN the princess falls in love with him. 

Whew. Sorry, I tried to make this as short as possible. I remember asking my mum after this: “Why is the girl always forced to love the boy?” Little me didn’t like this idea of a “magical kiss” already, lol. Mum’s answer was “Because it was written by a boy.”, but that’s not even my point here. Do you see the pattern? Girl keeps refusing guy but in the end he still gets her. THIS RIGHT HERE is the main reason why I hate Hophie. It reinforces the stereotype that if a guy is persistent enough, he will get the girl even if she said no a million times. 

Another note I’d like to say about this, and I’m going to receive hate for this opinion. I started book 1 when I was 16. Now I’m in my early twenties and I get that most SGE readers are still teenagers. The age of crushes, clumsy love experiments, etc. OK now I sound like a grandma. But I think this is where Hophie stems from. Everyone are seeing themselves in Hort. Your crush doesn’t like you back, his crush doesn’t like him back. Something like Éponine in Les Misérables. If Marius and Sophie both fall in love with the person who likes them, it’s like the crush of the fan does. Can we call this the Hort-Éponine complex? 

Aside from that, I believe that people who already experienced both sides of unrequited love (like yours truly grandma, right here), meaning Sophie’s side of it, are less likely to support such ships. 

I will now dive into the OTK “resolution” of this pairing. First let me just say, this book made me, if not hate, then at least strongly dislike Hort’s character. The first half of the book and even a some time after before he finally gets with Sophie, his character is disgusting to me. He is so obsessed with her, even while he’s still dating Nicola. As in my previous post, it’s like a huge part of his character is only “I LOVE SOPHIE”. While he’s still with Nicola, he never fails to mention “his FRIEND Sophie”. I will now paraphrase because I read a translation, not the original, but even when Hort’s singing to the guards to distract them so Agatha and Tedros can sneak into the Library, he sings something along the lines “Girlfriend Nikki and friend Soph”. I’m not sure if this was meant to convince the reader that Sophie ending up with Hort is a good idea, but with me, it did the exact opposite. 

In general, their “romance” feels extremely rushed to me. Compared to Sophie’s previous love interests, regardless of who they were as people, these two have zero chemistry. It seems as if Sophie decided to settle because there was no other guy for her. And the description of her suddenly being in love with him, as mentioned above, is another of those “magical kiss” stories. It is hardly believable and kind of... shallow. 

There even were several moments when Rafal was mentioned. In COT, when the protagonists wanted to flee Camelot but Sophie decided to stay, she saw Hort flying to her and she mistook him for Rafal. Goodness. Even in OTK there were a few moments when it seemed that Sophie still has issues from that relationship. Very few, but they were there. 

Therefore I refuse to believe that the reason for this was anything other than to satisfy the majority of the fandom. In addition, the entire book feels like one huge “fan service”, as other ships are “sailing” as well. We have Hestadil and Bogden/Willam, but these two are at least believable. Hestadil started, even tho inconspicously, two books ago, and it resolved naturally. And beforehand they were close friends, so there’s that. As for the boys, they were side characters, so we can only think that all resolved while they were off the scene. 

To sum it up, I thought of three different endings I’d prefer for Sophie. 

On the first place, this was mentioned several times by other people, is that she should have stayed on her own. That happened in TLEA, but this time, really. I hated that OTK made it seem that she really needs a partner. Yes, love, but heck... is romantic love the only thing that is out there? How about friendship? Content with oneself? Pursuing hobbies that you love? Freedom? Come on. Awesome characters that end up single AND ARE HAPPY should have more representation. And I think Sophie would have been amazing like that. 

On the second place I have two things. First, Sophie with a girl. Only I’m not sure who. Maybe Nicola, or Betty if she survived. Or maybe, people might hate me for this, but... Dot? I don’t ship it but I think it could have been cute. Maybe they would start off getting closer as friends and the rest would be left up to the reader’s imagination.

The other preferable ending I have at second place was originally on the third place, but some weird nostalgia overcame me when reading OTK and I had to move it up. People will hate me. But if Sophie should end up with a guy, it should have been Rhian. Yes, I know what you are thinking right now. But think about it. That guy really believed he was Arthur’s son. Imagine if he found out the truth. Something tells me it would be really hard for him at first, but in the end, if he found out that Japeth really only wants Aric, he could’ve joined the protagonists. In my opinion Sophie had the best dynamic with him, before it all spiralled downwards with snakes etc. Maybe he could pretend to help his twin but in the end... I believe I read something like this somewhere on Tumblr as well. Also this kind of feels as if it could have been Soman’s original plan before he turned to pleasing the fans. Or maybe I’m just fantasising too much.  Regardless of how much you’re cursing me right now, I believe Rhian deserved better and shouldn’t have died. After all, he was the better twin. 

As for Hort, well, before OTK I didn’t really care for his character, I didn’t dislike him but he wasn’t my favourite. I simply wished him well hoping he’ll get over Sophie so he can be happy, either with Nicola/someone else, or on his own. After the last book made me resent him, I’m not sure. He could have died, but I know that is cruel. 

He could have been slowly realising that he doesn’t need Sophie, his love would fade away, maybe Nicola could break up with him in the process, then they would get back together, at a natural pace, realisation, etc. Or they wouldn’t, or they wouldn’t break up at all, just separate on different missions, and then reunite and realise they were truly meant to be together all along. 

Whew, if you made it here, congratulations. If you read this as a Hophie shipper, I’m not taking away your opinion. I just needed to let this out. Hope we can respect each other. 

...But I still kinda wish we could get another version of OTK where Hophie doesn’t happen. 

[drakesdevils]

The Five Stages of Grief (Sam Drake x F!Reader)

Summary: Samuel Drake is dead to the world, stuck in a prison for a crime he did not commit for the rest of eternity.

PART TWO

(had to post them separate because Tumblr is a big bully)

Warnings: S*icidal thoughts, PTSD, imprisonment, violence

Uncharted Masterlist

RDR2 Masterlist

Of The Valley (Joel x Reader) Masterlist

A/N: I guess it has been some time lol. Wrote this because I’m forever angry at Naughty Dog for ghosting over the fact that Sam spent.. 13 years in prison.. also I don’t speak Spanish so these translations are probably a bit wonky.

I apologize this chapter is so lengthy! I can’t put a read more tab on mobile.

•••

Denial

Sam awoke in a small room, dazed and confused There were stone walls, a blaring light above him. It reeked of blood and sweat and every grossly humane thing in existence.

At first, panic set in, he thrashed and writhed and felt a burning pain in his stomach, like his insides were being torn apart. He heard yelling, he felt two sets of hands push him down, something pricked him.

And then he was out.

When he awoke again, he was in the same room. There was grogginess in him, like something had been shrouding his mind. He blinked a few times before he attempted to move again, only to realize he had been restrained. He struggled against the restraints, feeling that same burning in his stomach, the pain became unbearable.

He laid back onto the metal table and caught his breath, his shirt was bloodied. There was blood all over him. Was that his blood?

Oh god.

He remembered being shot, watching his brother lose the hope in his eyes, he felt the blood rise in his throat, and then he felt his bones crunch as he fell. And he remembered thinking of you, in a way he knew it would be his last thought. A glimmer of you in his jacket, smiling and beaming at him. And then it was over. Why wasn’t is over?

Oh god no.

Terror and shock rose in him, no no, this could not be happening. He was supposed to be dead. He was supposed to die when he fell. He was supposed to be six feet under by now.

No, this was Hell. He was being punished, and forced to live a life of pain. This was his personal punishment for a crime he did not commit.

“Ah, Mr. Drake, you are awake,” A voice said as the door opened in the bland room. There was a counter with ‘medical’ supplies next to it.

A man stepped into the room, a doctor?

“You broke your neck when you fell. You’re dead. We could not save you,” The man began. Sam’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“You are legally dead. Except of course, you are not. A man came looking for you by the way, we had to break the news to him,” The man teased him cruelly, a glimmer in his eye.

“Where is my brother?” Sam croaked out.

“Oh, long gone by now. We told him we found you dead. As far as the world knows, you are. I hope you enjoy prison, Samuel Drake,” The doctor cackled menacingly as he left Sam. Two guards entered, they took the restraints off of his arms and legs, they pulled him off the table roughly.

He wanted to fight back, he wanted to throw every punch their way and escape that hellhole. But there was no fight in him, his body was broken, everything in him felt like it was screaming.

They dragged him to his cell since he could not stand. He heard the catcalls and whistles from the other prisoners, freshmeat they cheered, a gringo too. Maybe they would rough him up a bit.

They threw him into the cold cell, he landed on his back and it knocked the wind from him, even if the air was burning and stuffy, there was no life in that prison, there was no happiness, no joy, no human emotion. There was only ruin.

He quickly lifted up his shirt and examined his wounds. A large bandage on his chest, he remembered feeling the blood enter his throat and suffocate him.

He remembered watching Nathan become heartbroken.

He remembered the fall.

No, this was not happening!

•••

Anger

The guards punished him brutally for killing one of their own. They beat him daily, they dragged him out of his cell, they made an example out of him even if he hadn’t done anything, they made a mockery out of him.

And the men followed suit too, they teased and threatened. He had to watch his back every waking hour. He could not let his guard down for even a second.

There was no one to help him, there was no one to save him. He was left alone in a foreign prison where he was hated, where he was starved and beaten. No men would talk to him, he was seen as a lesser being, someone to pick on.

A part of him began to hate the world too. He resented Nathan, for not trying to save him. He resented you for letting him go on this stupid trip. He had a life sentence, he was never getting out.

But most of all, he hated himself. He could not look in the dirty mirror, he would not talk to anyone, he let the guards beat him up. He did not fight back, but he watched his back. If someone were to sneak up on him, at least he would know it was coming.

He tried not to think, to not let his anger overcome him. He did not want to hate his baby brother and you, people who did not deserve such hatred. But he did think. He thought constantly, there was nothing to keep his mind off of it. He had no money to buy anything, no one to send him anything, no books, no entertainment. He was not allowed to get a prison job, the guards wanted to watch his every movement.

He saw red every hour of every day. He saw it every time he blinked. It was all around him, it was bubbling and pooling inside him. Sam wanted to punch the wall and scream, he wanted to lash out, he wanted every man in that prison dead. Sam wanted to scream at you and Nathan for abandoning him, for allowing him to live the rest of his life in prison. But there was no fight in him. There was no charm, no quips. A shitty slinged broken arm and healing bullet wounds, bruises all over his body and aching bones. There was no way he could fight. So he didn’t.

•••

Bargaining

Time passed slowly. Late at night when he watched the moon through the barred window in his cell, he wondered what would have happened if things had gone differently.

The only thing that brought him comfort was the thought of you. Even if what ifs were painful, a part of him was comforted by them. As he viewed the night sky, when the tropical storms rolled in, through the sweltering heat, especially then would it bring him comfort.

A life with you. Maybe he would have had his big break, found Avery’s treasure and never have to work another day in his life. He would be satisfied by his winnings and never want to go out and look for another. You and him could have been married, like he had promised, a small wedding that was beautiful, seeing you walk down the aisle in the dress you picked out, kissing you in front of everyone. Then you would have bought a grand home in Boston, lived out your thirties and then had kids, he would become the father he never had. Raised them right, they would become doctors or lawyers. And then you and him would truly retire, be old and frail together and one day it would end.

And it hurt to think that way. To want something so bad, but know it would never happen. To know that he would be stuck in this hellhole for eternity, suffering each and every day. Being subject to such abuse and horrors was something no innocent man should ever have to go through.

Remembering the anger he felt at you especially hurt. There was nothing you or Nathan could have done. He never wanted to think like that again, to imagine himself yelling at you, for screaming and arguing. He would never forgive himself for feeling that way.

Some nights he would wake up panting, thinking he had first woken up in the ‘doctors’ office again, that the clock had been reset. Some nights he woke up thinking he was in your arms again, he imagined you shushing him gently and lulling him back to sleep. Most nights he wished he didn’t wake up at all.

He wondered if you thought of him, if you had moved on, if you were living the white picket dream he didn’t think he wanted until now. What he wouldn’t give to be out and see you one more time, even if you had moved on, even if you were married to some other person, he wanted to see you once more. To look you in the eye and remember all that had happened, to know that he had come out on the other side.

But it was all foolish. He knew he was never getting out.

•••

Depression

“Sam?” A voice whispered into the cell. Armando.

“What?” He said groggily.

“Wake up. Dinner is in five minutes,” Armando said. He looked outside, it was still light out.

“Come on man, I’ll just buy from commissary later tonight,” He groaned, rolling back onto his stiff bed.

“Get up. I let you sleep and kept the other guards off your back. You have to eat, Samuel,” Armando pressed. The only guard who showed him kindness. Who smuggled books for him, who slipped him money every now and then, who convinced the guards to let him work on laundry duty to earn a few extra bucks. The guard he originally despised, who he thought was only trying to be nice to him so he could wait for Sam to slip up.

Sam simply let his eyes shut again.

“I have a present for you if you get up.”

“I don’t care,” Sam replied, nothing mattered to him anymore.

“I am sure you will like this one,” Armando continued.

“Fine,” Sam sighed, pulling himself out of his bed.

Armando unlocked the cell for him, he looked both ways to make sure no one was coming and shoved a book into his hand.

“No way!” Sam said surprised, looking down at the book.

“A General History of The Robberies and Murders of the Most Notorious Pyrates! You found it!” Sam spoke fervently, he could not quell his excitement.

“Shhhh,” He reminded Sam, looking around to make sure no one had heard him.

“Shit, sorry, but how the hell did you find it?” Sam said more quietly, flipping through the pages.

“Ah, simple really. The library got it shipped from another one. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to get your hopes up in case they couldn’t ship it,” Armando explained.

“Well shit, thank you. I have the other books in my cell so you can return them, let me grab them for you,” Sam replied, he didn’t want Armando having a hefty library late fee because of him.

He gathered the things in his small cell. Books about history, mostly non fiction, anything Armando could get his hands on that was in English.

He piled the books into Armando’s hands, hopefully no one would be suspicious if he managed to make it out quickly enough. Armando’s shift was ending in a few minutes.

Things were silent for a moment as Sam gathered his courage to ask Armando.

“Could.. could you send the letter to my brother? I slipped it in one of the pages of the book about the Renaissance,” Sam pleaded quietly.

Armando’s lips formed into a tight line as he contemplated it.

“I will see what I can do.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Armando, seriously, thank you so much,” Sam said sincerely. The only man in that prison who had his back.

•••

The warden called him into his office one night. The cruel man who was one of the ‘doctors’, the man who haunted his dreams. Sam was nervous, he could feel his hands shake.

“Samuel Drake,” The man said with a fake inviting tone, urging him to sit down. He sat with cockiness, his hands steepled as he watched him with hawk eyes.

Sam didn’t sit.

“I hear you have been attempting contact with your brother. This is against the rules, Samuel, you know this.”

Sam didn’t reply. He knew he was screwed.

“We will have to punish you. Solitary for three days.” The warden was taking joy in seeing Sam suffer.

Sam’s eyes widened, three goddamn days?!

“And a correctional activity with a few of our officers.” Sam knew what that meant.. a beating, a rough one. Outside the solitary confinement cells, they’d shackle him to the wall, beat him and throw him in the cell for three days.

“Where’s Armando?” Sam asked, letting his emotions not leak into his voice.

“Gone. You will never see him again.”

Fuck. Armando had been fired? All because he wanted to send a letter to Nathan.

The warden smiled at his silence.

“Goodbye, Samuel,” The warden dismissed him, he was nearly at the door. His entire body felt heavy.

“And if you ever try anything like this again, we will make a lesson out of you.”

He knew what that meant too.

•••

Just when things had started to look up, they had gone down again. Three days in solitary with a broken nose and black eye and split lip was not his favorite thing in the world. Not to mention his aching bones. The guards spat at him, pulled his hair, made fun of him, did everything to make him feel less than human. It didn’t work though, barely anything got through to him now. He had a devil may care attitude. It was better to.

He was thankful for the uninterrupted sleep even if it was on the concrete. Only time he got interrupted was when the guards would shove the shitty food to him.

It was maddening for him, to only hear silence when he was awake, to have his thoughts suffocate him. His life, wasted away in prison. Dead to the world and practically dead to himself, there was no reason for living.

Minutes ticked on, when he was sleeping he was trying to count how many times a fly in the cell touched a wall. He counted 473 times in the span of 68 hours. Eventually the fly died, or it escaped, he wasn’t sure because he was sleeping when the buzzing stopped.

The blood was caked on him, he could barely move, so he laid on the cold concrete and watched the fly bounce back and forth. He was losing track of time.

Most of his memories of his life prior to prison were blurred, he remembered how things went down, but people’s faces and voices were especially fuzzy. Like TV static, there was something there but he couldn’t quite see what.

He hated solitary, but it was better than being hit by the guards, teased in the prison yard, yelled at. Most days he liked being alone.

•••

Acceptance

“Pongan sus traseros en línea, muchachos. ¡Es la hora de cenar! Feliz Navidad,” The announcer said.

“Aye! Carlos! Sam!” Victor yelled across the chow hall. Sam and Carlos looked up at their friend.

“Merry Christmas friends. I just got off the phone with my girl. She told me she sent a package here, it should arrive in a couple days,” Victor said happily.

Carlos snickered, Sam eyed him as he shoveled food into his mouth. Christmas, the one day of the year where the guards weren’t awful and the food wasn’t as bad. It was still gloomy in the prison no matter the day, but at least the spirits were slightly up.

“Something funny, Carlos?” Victor narrowed his eyes at Carlos.

“Nothing. Just think it is funny you have your girlfriend sending you things. Why is she taking care of you? You’re the one who got in trouble.”

Victor rolled his eyes, “That’s funny, Carlos, real funny, seeing how you love to drop your pants for-“

“Knock it off you two,” Sam threatened, glaring at the two of them.

“I’ll give you something from the package, Sam since you are so nice to me, unlike this puta,” Victor said, gesturing towards Carlos.

“Sure thing,” Sam said. He knew Victor was just saying that.

“I wish I was with my family this Christmas. How many has it been? Two?” Carlos wondered.

“Been three for me,” Victor replied. “Sam?”

“I think nine. Or ten. I can’t remember, all of its blurring together.”

The air became somber. “One day we’ll all get out, brothers, we’ll be with our families on Christmas and get presents and eat all that good shit,” Victor began.

Sam didn’t want to hear any of this bullshit.

“I can’t even remember what my girlfriend sounded like. I haven’t heard her, or my brother in years, I don’t even know if they’re still around, so Christmas with them is kinda off the table for me,” Sam confessed solemnly. He wasn’t in the mood to talk about Christmas joy. He never was.

Victor and Carlos were silent, they looked at each other nervously. They knew his story, rumors passed around over the years. He had risen in the ranks of prison, he had more freedoms, the guards picked on him less, the men respected him more. He had even made a few friends.

“You’ll get out one of these days, you just have to hold on. I bet she’s waiting for you still, probably will be waiting on the bed for you with her legs op-” Carlos said.

Sam quickly cut him off, “Yeah.. I doubt it.”

•••

Reunion

The guards roughly pulled him out of his cell one day. He hadn’t gotten that type of treatment in a long time. He was surprised as they cuffed him and pushed him down the hallway. What the hell was going on?

“You guys mind telling me what we’re doing?” Sam asked as one of the guards pushed him down the hall.

“Just keep moving,” One of them ordered. They walked through the cell blocks, the loud chatter was deafening. There was a game of blackjack happening in the yard, he could see the big group of men gathered outside.

They were headed straight for the warden's office.

Shit. What the hell happened now?

They pushed him into the room. The warden stood stoically, looking out the window.

“You’re a free man, Samuel,” The warden spoke.

This had to be a joke. The warden was just fucking with him.

Sam snorted, “Okay.”

“10,000 it took. The man was insistent on us letting you go for a fair price,” The warden glanced back over at him. The man who first gave him the news of his life sentence and laughed in his face.

“You can stop with the bullshit now.”

“It’s not a lie, Samuel. You are a free man. You may leave now.” The warden turned to look at him. And then he knew it was true.

Sam could feel every heartbeat, he could feel the freedom flow in him. He could feel the shackles being torn off. He was free. How was this possible?

Sam stood frozen in his spot.

“Leave,” The warden barked. Sam scrambled quickly and left.

This was happening. It was really happening.

There was no paperwork he needed to fill out since he was not registered. Victor and Carlos both got out a year ago, there were no needs for goodbyes.

The guards let him outside. It all felt like a dream, like he would wake up inside solitary again. He felt like he was floating, like every step was another one closer to the heavens.

He heard the buzzer go off, he felt the vibrations in his bones.

Who was waiting for him? Who bailed him out?

As he walked through the gates, he was officially a free man. Liberty rushed in his veins. That first breath of freedom was exhilarating, there was no stench of the prison, it was simply fresh and clean air.

Rafe. Rafe goddamn Adler stood by his sleek black car. Was that this year's model? So much had changed..

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Glad to see you’re alive, and somewhat well,” Rafe smiled, brushing Sam’s shoulder off.

“Where’s Nathan?” Sam asked.

“No thank you? Thirteen years go by and you would think he would be a little more appreciative. You know Sam, you’re starting to sound a little ungrateful.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “I’ll be grateful when I know my brother is well.”

“Fine. I assumed as much. He’s doing well, retired, living the white picket dream as far as I know.” Rafe rolled his eyes.

“And Y/N?” A part of him was afraid to know.. he had wondered for so long. But he was scared too, he felt cowardly for being afraid to face you. All he wanted was to see you again, and now he was a coward for being afraid.

“Married too,” Rafe sighed, becoming annoyed at Sam.

It felt like a stab, worse than any pain he had experienced during prison, holding on to the thought of you was what kept him going. He should have expected it though.. he should have known.

“Well, anyways, I wouldn’t go moseying around, disrupting their lives. Especially not now, I mean come on, your brother is retired and your ex girlfriend is married. Don’t go trying to mess things up.”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed. Jumping back into their lives, especially if you were married was cruel. It was better if you and Nathan still thought he was dead.

He felt even more hollow than he had ever been before.

“Let’s talk business, then, shall we?”

•••