#I’m gonna make one for their caretaker tho when they come into the story

[shywhumpauthor]

Piccrews? Maybe? Please 🥺 I’m in love with precious bean Kaden and bastard man Mathias…..

Ignore how this took me like a week I could not find the right picrew for kaden

Of course Anon! I have had this picrew of Mathias sitting in my camera roll since literally September

(Picrew link here)

Here is the bastard man himself. I played around with the idea of him being blond for a bit but this picrew didn’t have what I had in mind and everything else was too perfect to find a new one

(link)

And then here’s kaden, before and during captivity. (Before is from the night of the party, captivity is a little bit after the isolation chunk, before switching locations)

[crackinwise]

Forgive this ramble, but because the Dear Evan Hansen move is reportedly... badly adapted from its source, there's gonna be a bunch of people who get second-hand glib summaries of the original plot and declare it a trainwreck or problematic or tone-deaf, etc.

DEH, the stage musical, does not have a hero or a villain. It has awkward, lonely, mentally ill teenagers in our age of viral fame-chasing (the stage is filled with giant social media posts and texts) taking things too far, facing the consequences, and then learning to move on.

Evan resonates with people because of his depression, social anxiety and possible autism ("Waving Through A Window" gets me bawling). He first gets into this mess simply because he's too fearful to correct a grieving family's assumptions and doesn't want to hurt them. It spirals when he doesn't want to let go of the new family and love and popularity, and then the lie is so big it has a life of its own. No one watching roots for him to continue this way, but we still worry for when it inevitably comes crashing down. Because, when it comes out he was at his absolute lowest point and almost ended up like Conner, you understand a bit more why he would cling to the fantasy about having such a friend.

But there's no heroes anywhere else in the cast either. Everybody, save for Evan's struggling mom, uses Conner's death selfishly. Other kids at school want the clout or to feel like a special caretaker to Conner's fake legacy. Even Conner's family, who choose to believe a fairytale of their troubled son/brother because they feel guilty for just pegging him as an asshole and not bothering to help him. Which is a shame bc in one interaction Conner has with Evan, you see he did have a soft side and reached out to another lonely kid. For one second, you glimpse what might have been.

Adults play teenage characters all the time, so I'm not sure that's the movie's problem here. But movies for general audiences do rely on framing someone to root for more than in stage where rules and fantasy have a wider range to play. For film, it usually misses the feel and surreal setting of stage direction that kicks on your imagination. A good director could absolutely translate it to film, like West Side Story or more currently In The Heights. It doesn't sound like that was attempted here tho. Reviews coming out make the DEH movie sound more like the disturbing film Father Of The Year put to music.

Hollywood should just screw off and let musicals and stage plays be filmed as is like Andrew Lloyd Webber did decades ago, and Lin did for Hamilton recently. But PLEASE watch DEH in its original form, and if you need help finding that "slime tutorial" let me know.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Ykow I was rereading the shadowhunter academy and the shadow market (cuz I haven't in a while) and I got sooo sad after Matthew's story because in both we can see him enjoying taking care of others soooo much and just being there for them but now he can't even truly take care of himself. And he hated himself and wasn't close to his family even before the accident and the drinking.

Now while a lot of people are pissed because of Paris I think that this was the best option. And I don't think that when it comes to time that it was the worst or even bad either. Tho of course when they learn what they missed they will be angry with themselves and feel super guilty. Even so:

Even if we want them there to help look for Lucie neither is really in the right state right now and probably would slow them down. Cordelia is doubting herself soooo much right now and would think Lucie's disappearance was somehow her fault and would dissappear into herself. Same for Matthew and especially after almost losing his brother.

And of course we would feel sad for James and we want all the miscommunication to end but he literally JUST learned about this. He has to have time to really comprehend exactly what has been happening. Beyond this he HAS to be by himself for a bit. He has been under the bracelet's influence for 4 YEARS. He has to figure himself out again and that just won't really happen if he jumps straight into marriage and probably both Matthew and James feeling the bond differently in such a close proximity ( when Jace was under Sebastian's control Alec felt the bond differently BUT he felt his life-force still and when parabatai are close the connectionis stronger)

Now why I think that it's a GOOD thing that they went to Paris. Matthew truly does love taking care of people. He may not be in the best condition right now but while we think that Cordelia is gonna be there to help him I think that the reverse will happen. Matthew was introduced for the first time as mother hen fairchild or the caretaker of the group. He KNOWS how to take care of people. We also see that his love for Cordelia is actually real and when he sees that she is not doing good he will help her. And I think that THAT may be his wake up call. Seeing a person he loves in so much pain and he "the caretaker" can't sober enough to help.

I'm not saying he will sober up for her but sober up for ACTUALLY doing what he enjoys doing. Helping people.

As for Cordelia she is strong and will find a way to both detach from Lilith and have a happy ever after with James. With the help of her friends

I love, love, love this.

It's such a clearly written explanation that makes so sense.

Tbh, I was so pissed when I read that scene. But now months after reading it, I'm like...It kinda makes sense?

I think that is also an important factor. The last couple of chapters they happened so quickly - and while as you very clearly explained there are deeper factors at play and these influences make a lot of sense - there is also the fact that all of this was just spur of the moment. Them going to Paris. James chasing after them. Will trying to save Lucie. They are all just in the moment trying to do what feels right then and there.

Honestly, who we are to judge?

And you are 100% right about Matthew. He is such a care taker. And even though he might have feelings for cordelia and even IF something happens in Paris, I don't think he ever intended to take her to Paris for himself. He just wanted to help her. I agree.

I really hope things get settled for all of them soon. They are just jumping from one thing to another. They really need to take a moment and think. But poor bebes can't catch a break :(

[icharchivist]

cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)

and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)

anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)

also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)

that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)

to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)

anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you design” is so wonderful too (7/?)

now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)

some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)

i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!

OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c

tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.

I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.

The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.

On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)

ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c

So glad you were invested in that conflict!

Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.

But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.

both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.

admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event

i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!

It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself

I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.

Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?

The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.

And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.

I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!

And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.

Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.

So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.

Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.

So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.

ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!

DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....

AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?

The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?

but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D

oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)

DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha

And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.

Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.

thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c

Take care!

[lugiepie]

and my second ask is MCorrin FeFates because i want to give u an opportunity to yell and scream about him :)

Mistake. Mistake Mistake My Screaming Has No Limits

favorite thing: he is very good at annoying people in super smash bros. the moment i select him i hear someone around me lose a few years of their life. ALSO, he is dragon and he looks like dialga bonus points. also just gonna put this here in case anyone gets the reference, corrin is a man princess.

least favorite thing: canon. :( hes so weird and his personality changes like every single freakin chapter. also the whole “living in a tower all your life” thing wasn’t really implemented, wasted potential for funny rapunzel meets fire emblem. like shouldn’t he be really dumb? or just a little dumb? and a little more confused when having to make weird decisions that he doesn’t know why his brother(s) are making him make?? help him

favorite line: “it’s just you and me little p” from The Christmas Movie Involving Some Nuts it was Really Bad nah just kidding, it’s his little “are you ready?” taunt in smash. that was uh. the entire reason i got into fire emblem. actually. uh. UH. i’m gonna hate mail but lmao ok i can’t lie. it’s so cheesy and as such is another very good way to get on people’s nerves.

brotp: JAKOB. JAKOB AND HIMMM BFFFF ITS JUST GUYS BEIN DUDES AND MAYBE HAVING A TEA PARTY EVERY DAY but they’re just bros it’s ok. like i imagine that if fire emblem had phones corrin would call jakob like every hour or so because he genuinely needs help learning how to tie the shoes he doesn’t wear and he keeps forgetting. jakob is still his butler tho so he’s like “of course milord” while trying not to laugh. kinda like a frederick chrom relationship? but with a little less nannying because corrin Needs Learning On How To Person

otp: sorry internet you have the right to hate me it’s marth and corrin. yeah this is a remnant of smash bros and i had zero knowledge on their canon personalities, so to me corrin was a socially awkward repurposed cat and marth was trying to teach him how to person while also being very narcissistic. it was such a good time 😔 anyways now it’s just ingrained into my brain. comfort ship they are stupid and great ballerina boys

notp: yeah it’s still him and camilla. go read the camilla ask i explain how yucky it is all the time in better detail

random head canon: you know kermit, that one internet dog? better known as cermet? yeah. he’s that. just cries sometimes because no one said good morning to him and is also addicted to watermelon Shoes are Not For Cermets Silent Dragons

unpopular opinion: i think liking him is an unpopular enough opinion my guy. but maybe that’s just the smash community, idk lemme know if it’s not illegal to enjoy him existing in fe i’m still kinda a fandom baby. i think he’s neat and i just want him to be have more than a soggy bowl of cereal for a personality

song i associate with him: lost in thoughts actually, Ghosting by Mother Mother fits my idea of him really well. after revelations i mean. he’s got this tiny ass little kingdom whose residents are either dead/traumatized from his dad (revelations gave such a weirdly vague ending for him so. yeah i’m just gonna go off of what antony said in valla) his siblings can’t exactly visit him all that often, and he’s probably pretty socially awkward due to war ptsd and also living in a tower and never interacting with people besides his caretakers and siblings. so yeah, he’s practically like a ghost; his siblings for sure knows he exists, but nohrians never really knew for sure if he existed since he was never outside the castle and some hoshidans would definitely be mad about the whole mikoto thing. he’s a cool bedtime story at least. tl;dr he’s doing a dragon thing and becoming a folktale

favorite picture: he is holding yato in his mouth like a dog holds a stick, he is a Dog the Rumor Come Out I Told You also look how pointy he is. i always take a minute to notice it but i’m like. yep. part jolteon, face full of spikes

PHEW post over. in case you couldn’t tell i Enjoy the Corn.

oh, this ones for the homies: “gay foot guy” :)

[spookyc]

I sure do!!

Well then, I shall divulge.

So, in my talentswap Kiyo is the protagonist as he is the ultimate detective. Originally this was just because I thought it fit but I definitely have more of a definite reason as to why I chose him for the ultimate detective. So a big thing I wanna do with this au, is to give more of the unpopular characters a spotlight, this can be seen with the main central group of the game, Kiyo as the ultimate detective, Tenko as the ultimate astronaut, and Angie as the ultimate child caretaker/assassin. (Which, yeah, It's kinda funny how these three ended up being the main trio considering what happened with them in canon) And when I played v3 I always thought Kiyo was super interesting, not only his talent but also his entire personality. It was so unlike what you would expect from the typical dr cast, I mean the creepy guy of the cast isn't the main antagonist? It was so different and it drew me towards his character, and I even indulged in a few of his free times which were always super fun just because I learned something new with each one.

And then, well, chapter 3 happened. I don't believe I have to explain what happened with that. I remember being kinda bummed out, I mean, the creepy weirdo just ended up being a creepy weirdo, a creepy weirdo who was abused by his shitty sister, but a creepy weirdo nonetheless. Didn't help that I have a brother that I'm decently close with; the entire thing just made me very uncomfortable. So I figured it would be super interesting to go through a story with Kiyo's lenses, to understand why he believes the things that he does and to give him a second chance, in a way.

Also when I really sat down and thought about it, it made a lot of sense to me. Like, in this au I want to keep their backstories intact, (for the most part) and I also wanna keep the fact that they were originally pursuing their canon talents until an event happens that changes their mind. So originally Kiyo was still gonna go for the anthropolgy route, but on one of his vacations, he happened upon a murder case. In the beginning he planned to just observe how the scene would play out, but because he's so attuned with people, he ends up finding out the killer and has him arrested. After this he becomes fascinated with criminals, about their ideologies, their psychology, the history behind past criminals. And so he then redirects his path towards that of a detective, perhaps partially out of a sense of justice, but mainly out of a morbid curiosity to see, "how far the depths of humanity can go."

I also noticed how in the canon story Kiyo often likes to observe others and sorta likes to stay neutral on most topics and I feel this would really benefit him as a detective. But yeah! That's essentially the reason I decided to make him the ultimate detective but let's dive into more of his background and how he grows throughout the story.

So, let's just go ahead and get this out the way. The sister issue. Now, as I stated before, I have a brother I'm close with myself so the entire incestuous relationship with Kiyo and his sister makes me deeply uncomfortable. So I'm sorta divided on two options. 1. I could eradicate sister from Kiyo's story completely and pretend she never existed. Or 2. I keep sister but simply change the form of abuse she inflicts on Kiyo. I'm leaning more towards the second option as this way I'm not just neglecting the abuse Kiyo went through, but I also don't have to make myself uncomfortable by acknowledging the incest stuff.

Anyway! Moving on to the more exciting stuff. So, I still want to have Kiyo involved with the occult, or at least he used to be. See, possibly a year or two ago, (and possibly in regards to sister's death but I'm undecided on that) Kiyo performs a ritual that goes horribly wrong. And the result of this ritual enables Kiyo to see and hear the spirits of the departed. And while at first it was intriguing, it soon became annoying at best and mentally draining at worst. It's simply a fact of life he has to deal with, and due to this power he can see and hear the ghosts of his dead classmates throughout the story. Which is both a blessing and a curse.

Now, as for his development throughout the story, here's what I'm thinking. Now, Kiyo doesn't really have many confidence issues, he's proud in his line of work and he's unapologetic about his beliefs and such. And I wouldn't really wanna repeat Shuichi's storyline anyway. So, for this au, I think Kiyo's arc throughout the game will be learning to trust and gain acceptance amongst people he loves. Rather than the twisted perception of love that Kiyo gives off in canon, I'd want Kiyo's result from sister's abuse to be that no one loves him and no one ever will.

He then begins to believe that love doesn't exist, and not just romantic love, but any kind of love. But rather than grow depressed by this fact, Kiyo uses it as a way to uplift himself. Telling himself that he doesn't need love and that he's perfectly fine being alone. To put it bluntly he's basically just coping from the abuse, trying to use it as shield to protect himself when in reality it's just a sword pointed at himself. But then again, what reason would he have for not believing this? This very concept is what's made him such a great detective.

He doesn't take sides because he can't understand the reasoning behind either side, not in an emotional way anyway. And even though he's incredibly successful in his work, there's a part of him deep down that is terribly lonely. A part of him that longs for company, a part of him that wishes he knew why hatred always burns in the eyes of those he arrests. And it isn't until he's kidnapped and taken to the Ultimate Academy that he finally has to acknowledge this part of himself. This starts with his relationship with Tenko.

Which, as you might expect, doesn't start too well. Tenko of course still has her "degenerate male philosophy" (though after chapter 1 this part of her becomes severely toned down and we get to see what her actual character is like sorta like what canon should have done before chapter 3) but Tsumugi, (ultimate pianist) accompanies Kiyo for a lot of chapter 1 and this sort of slowly warms Tenko up to Kiyo. After chapter 1 tho, when Kiyo flawlessly solves the first case, Tenko sees how useful Kiyo is and grows a sort of begrudging respect for him. After the trial she congratulates him on a job well done and Kiyo appreciates the gesture, obviously being able to tell that it wasn't something she was particularly ecstatic to do. Chapter 2 comes around and if you read my ask about Maki (ultimate artist) , you know this is when she starts spreading the "rumor" that Angie is an assassin.

Kiyo initially doesn't buy this at all, because even though he's exceptionally good at reading people, Angie is a total blank for him, so he can't really confirm or deny the rumors. What he does notice, though, is that Tenko seems to he strangely angry at these rumors, growing visibily distressed whenever Maki brings them up. He doesn't really get it, seeing as though he's only seen the two talking a handful of times, but he brushes it off but he doesn't get involved with people's personal bis. Until Tenko comes to him. He's surprised to see her and even more surprised to see the angry expression on her face.

She tells him that they can't keep letting this go on. He asks what and she responds with the rumors. He agrees that the rumors have gotten out of hand but he asks her what she wants him to do about it. She tells him that he is the only one that the others will believe. And he's like, fair enough, but why do you care so much. And she responds saying, "Because I have her motive video." Kiyo is shocked by this info and asks why she can't just tell them herself. And she says that, "Well, because the rumors are true, she is the ultimate assassin."

Kiyo is again flabbergasted and asks Tenko if she intends on him lying and she says yes. He asks her why, in the most sincerest tone, truly not understanding why anyone would go this far to lie about someone they hardly know, Tenko responds. "Because something isn't right, Monokuma has to be playing some trick, there's no way Angie is capable of murder." Kiyo still doesn't understand, but seeing the fierce determination in her eyes, he knows he won't be able to refuse her offer. And so he agrees that tomorrow he will do his best to dispel the rumors about Angie and convince everyone that she isn't an assassin. And then, the very next day, another body is discovered.

Immediately the opportunity to clear the air is gone in the mass confusion. And it's not long after that everyone begins to pin their blame on Angie. So, Tenko approaches Kiyo again asking if she can accompany Kiyo on his investigation, but only on the basis of defending Angie. Kiyo, who isn't used to working with others, hesitantly agrees and the two form a reluctant partnership. Kiyo initially plans to work on his own but after Tenko finds a few vital pieces of evidence he grows more accustomed to her presence and the two actually bond quite a bit, although they don't admit it.

Eventually the investigation ends and the two head to the trial together, convinced that Angie isn't the killer. Of course the main lie of this trial is that Angie is not the ultimate assassin, the only real thing that was pinning her to this case. After that is cleared up, Kiyo, along with some help from Tenko, solve the case. All is well and good with the world it seems, until Maki speaks up. She asks Monokuma to show Angie's motive video, just to be 100% sure that she isn't the ultimate assassin.

Immediately Tenko retorts, saying that they already cleared up that she wasn't but Maki replies.

"Well, if you're so sure that Angie isn't an assassin, then you should have no problem with me showing this right?"

"Unless, you know something we don't?"

The others agree with Maki and demand that the motive video be shown. Tenko looks to Kiyo, demanding he do something but Kiyo shakes his head. "They're too far gone now." Tenko clenches her fists, but doesn't say another word. With a grin of pure malice, Maki tells Monokuma to show the video and he complies, if a bit reluctantly due to Maki's tone. The video plays and the truth is revealed, Angie is the ultimate assassin.

After the video the students erupt into an uproar, angrily turning towards Tenko and Kiyo and demanding why they lied. Tenko responds that if they hadn't lied, the rest of the students would have gotten them killed. They also turn on Kiyo, asking why a detective would lie. He responds saying it was the only way to get to the truth. He also adds that Angie being an assassin had nothing to with this case, they already determined the true killer.

But despite their statements many of the students are still outraged as they mount the elevator. They also notice Angie is not with them, as she seems to have disappeared during the chaos. Two individuals however observe the scene with twisted glee, Maki and Kiibo (ultimate supreme leader). After everyone gets off the elevator, Tenko approaches Kiyo. She thanks him for standing up for Angie, and this time she actually sounds genuine. She then admits that maybe he's different than the other degenerate males and that he's not so bad. Kiyo accepts the sort of compliment and Tenko walks off.

And for the first time Kiyo feels happy. Now he's felt satisfaction after a solved case and even sometimes felt contentment but, he can't remember the last time he felt happy. The last he felt like he belonged. And after this the two from a solid friendship, one that will carry them throughout the entire game and Angie joins the squad too and as much as I'd love to get into their relationship this post is far too long already and I wouldn't wanna waste anymore of your time. But! I hope this was enjoyable at the very least.

I really enjoy getting these asks because they always help me to flesh out the story and the characters and they're always super fun to write so if you ever wanna know about any of the other characters, don't hesitate to ask. Thanks for the ask!

[normal-thoughts-official]

I was reading ur post about the Brazilian education system (which sounds fucking incredible by the way) and it reminded me of smth

I have no intention of becoming a teacher, but my sister is one and she works in a primary school (her class is ages 5-6), and when she was in university she showed me loads of things about the reflecting realities study

I think it was made in 2017 and it was a study on how well children's books reflected the world around us, ie how many books published had protagonists of colour and obviously the results were dire

I'd have to look it up but there were very few people of colour and a hell of a lot of white characters, but what was especially interesting was that when Black Lives Matter got more prevelence last year a lot of publishing houses got put under pressure to add more people of colour in their books

And when the 2020 reflecting realities study came in and while there was more people of colour and less white people, the number of animals being the main protagonists completely jumped up

And it's just terrible because of stories with main casts of animals still fall into the exact same racist stereotypes. Like often they follow the protagonist of a cute fluffy animal as they struggle against the predetory snake or bear, both of which are completely different to them physically and explicitly a threat - this could also be stranger danger

And I mean, what's worse is when they're consciously trying to use animals as an allegory - I mean Zootopia? Anyone? Disney making the allegory for people of colour into literal predetors really wasn't the woke moment they thought it was

And I was just thinkinf about how this kind of follows through into the fantasy genre. I'm gonna be tentative here because Im no expert on this so call me out if you think I'm wrong. Like I'm glad that the shadowhunters cadting directors hired more actors of colour to the team because othereise it would be overwhelmingly pasty, I can't help but notice the decision to cast Luke, the only black man, as an animal and how they changed his character entirely as well

Because (this is not pro cc) Luke in the books was a gentle white bookshop owner, and the show changed him into a cop, and the second time we see him or so he's been injured from fighting (ie not depicted as gentle) ? For some reason (this could just be for plot purposes but u know) There's whole essays online about how media uses black cops in shows and movies to prevent criticism against them but that's a whole other post

(tentative again but do you think that it was kidn of to distance itself from real world issues? Like shadowhunters can obviously be read as the fantasy police force, but by making Luke a downworlder and a cop I feel like maybe they're moving as far away from being properly critical as they can)

That being said, I love show Luke I think he's fantastic, and I way prefer his competancy instead of wimpy white book Luke but I think he can fit the trope in media where characters of colour are depicted as animalistic, ie TWILIGHTs wolves being all native people!!! and I feel like often it just helps to reinforce a lot of the aggressive stereotyoes against poc

Idk how to finish this. In conclusion publishing houses seem to find it easier to publish stories about animals than people of colour and that's a big fat problem. Also how instead of you know publishing books by authors of colour several responded to criticism by just rereleasing collections of classics with black people on the cover - like that solves anythung

Idk I thought you might find the study interesting, it obviously goes more in depth that I have talked about so I can link it to you if you'd like (however it is a study based in Britain based upon British publishing houses so no worries if you aren't interested)

❤️❤️

that does sound pretty interesting! id like to see it if u have it easily, but if not, no worries. i think understanding the specifics of the context in other places always helps u understand ur own better, and we have similar studies in brazil with pretty much the same results

the whole animals thing is so crazy. like both in the sense of animalization and just that genuinely animals are more appealing to have as mc than poc for publishing companies diajasoidja god

also i've never seen zootopia or heard of it being a racial allegory and id like to unlearn that information

about luke: yep. i'm not sure they cast isaiah because he was a werewolf, i think it's genuinely just because he was a good actor (especially because so many other originally white characters got actors of color in the show) but sh and tsc did pick the race of the downworlders in the most cursed way. the two most important black characters were both werewolves (i know ur in s1 but maia also exists in tsc so), literally ALL the werewolves except for russell were either black or latine, even the minor ones (bat, alaric, gretel), the only jewish character drinks blood (COME ON), raphael is also animalized a lot "on account of being a vampire" whereas simon is not (and even camille isn't and she was supposed to be white so)

the decision to make luke a black cop will always be something i'll hate. can we stop trying to make cops diverse. cops are oppressors. get out of here with the propaganda

im not sure the thing about luke being hurt is supposed to imply he's violent tho, i think it's more supposed to be like "poor him, a great serviceman of the people, risking his life at the job" which is copaganda and therefore still racist, but, in a different way daoidjsaj

i think there could have been a good critique/parallel there with luke being black and a cop and an ex-shadowhunter downworlder, but that would have to be handled REALLY carefully so im actually kind of glad sh didn't even try to do that. also it would require luke to have actual growth as a character instead of just being clary's caretaker #4, and his internalized anti-downrorldism and bootlicking tendencies to be addressed and become a liberation plotline. which again, sh could never

but yeah same, in the end i love show luke, mostly because of who he could have been, but at least he's not useless like book luke. but like... why make him a cop when you could, very easily, do Anything Else

[mamusings]

Supernatural Season 1 Thoughts

So I'm rewatching mainly to distract myself from the dogs breakfast the show has descended into. But also because my feelings about the show as a whole are decidedly mixed. I come to it as a buffy fan. I've always been curious about spn as a successor show to buffy, but only watched thr first 13 seasons in 2020. Blame lockdown.

Anyway s1. Blinding start, blinding finish. But the middle is just too many MOTW episodes without enough season arc development. I keep wondering who the show is for. It feels aesthetically very male. Lots of blood, guns and violence. Well-realised horror feel - although I think it's hard to really feel fear when you dont particularly care about who might die. It's only when you threaten a major character death that things hit harder. Also the genuflecting to realism by drawing on urban myths feels like something for stereotypically 'male' rather than 'female'. Probably reflects my preferences that I was never to into the MOTW format some buffy fans loved and that I was always more interested in the story telling than realism or even consistency. Monsters as metaphors works better for me. But Spn is a much more cloistered universe. Two guys and their absent father is what s1 is about. But it dits weirdly between being comfort viewing and needing attention. There's much that starts to feel formulaic with MOTW episodes: Impala on the road scene, some rock music, an opener that gives you a new mystery and people to go with it blah blah. You can practically set your watch by the final denouement happening in the final 8 mins. It feels like the show is diligently checking off every myth and monster going which gets tedious. I found the need for setting up yet another family in danger was something that gets hard to care about. "Oh look a couple, someone's gonna die, shall I fast forward until sam and dean show up." And yet there are some interesting undercutting of the white working class vibe the show has. Two that stand out to me are: the 'female gazing' of the camera work off Sam and Dean. There's a lot of panning - are we getting in the boys with the guns and hardware and then offering up the handsome male bodies for women? I felt a little cheap, but they they are v cute. The other is having a black/bi racial woman play Dean's only serious love interest. The ghost truck thing is terrible but putting attitudes to race at the centre of this particular storyline was intriguing. Perhaps a counter balance to the overall wwc feel of things. (Full disclosure I am a black woman and I enjoyed seeing this - even tho I did have several moments of wondering was the predominant female look so uniform back then. All the girls have the same build (and did we all wear such low rise jeans?) plus long, wavy/curly hair...except Meg who basically has Sam's hairstyle ha ha)

What's impressive? The first few episodes give us a cluster of core lines: bitch/jerk, no chick flick moments, and the sibling dynamic This show hits its stride right in the pilot and wendigo is still one of the scarier episodes. Thats a really good opening shot imo.

It's no surprise that what's really riveting is Sam and Dean. But on rewatching I saw a lot more on why this is so interesting. Basically when the characters are introduced you first get Sam. He's your archetypal nice guy whis hot everything though for him. Stanford, girlfriend, friends, great test score but also and crucially hes likeable. Then you get Dean and hes introduced as a dick. Breaks in, wrestles Sam, comes on to/is sleazy with Sams gf. So cocky bad boy: check.

In the pilot dean is the annoying big brother to a t. So they set up two contrasting personalities. Dean is disrespectful to cops, Sam is embarrassed by it. Dean is into hunting, Sam is unwillingly persuaded. Dean is insensitive, Sam kinder and sweet. Dean plays dumb, Sam's the academic achiever. But what we witness over the course of the season essentially reverses this. Sam's the real rebel defying his father, Dean the obedient son. Dean gets a lot of scenes showing him make swift emotional connections esp with children or people in caretaker roles. Dean's very adult 'I'm 26 of course I go on hunts alone' is unmasked by the fact he gets Sam to help him because hes lonely. And Dean (often clumsily) tries to help Sam move on about Jess and open up about his nightmares. While the explicit dialogue casts Sam as the geeky loser brother what we see in this season is that the loser is actually Dean. Sam has friends, Sam has a relationship, Sam has a life he wants to get back to. Dean has no one and some of the hardest emotional hits this season are when his mask is lifted to show us just that. For instance shape shifter Dean voices his jealousy in Skin. Also Azazel taunts Dean about how he needs Sam and John in a way that they dont need him.

The closing episodes really bring some of these contrasts home. Dead Mans Blood gives us a great bonding scene between Sam and John, for me that's a moment where it falls into place that they so much in common that it leaves Dean on the outside. They both loved women they lost to a demon. For both of them (at this stage) the mission, as in killing this demon, matters more than family. Its Dean who constantly prioritises family, even while his family deprioritise him. Both Sam in Salvation and John in Devils Trap put sacrificing themselves to kill the demon as their first priority. Whereas Dean consistently argues for family, first persuading John that they are stronger together, then telling Sam that the three of us 'is all I have' in Salvation. The point gets hammered home in Devils Trap where Dean says (in case the stupid viewer missed it "you and Dad are a lot more alike..cant wait to sacrifice yourselves, but I'm going to be the one to bury you").

Much of the rest of the relationship development is about showing us the partnership Sam and Dean are developing. You see increasing ease in working together - maybe most cliched in how they toss weapons back and forth in Hell House. Plus that interesting sibling dynamic when you love someone and find them intensely annoying that feels enjoyable even if your own sibling relationship is nothing like it.

But what's interesting is that while Dean's character is revealed throughout the season. You see through the episodes the difference between his Dean presents himself and hiw he is, but dean doesn't change. Hes immature and emotionally driven I'd also savvy and brave. Its Sam who changes. Not in how he is, but in his priorities. Sam realises the good bit about Dean among the stuff that irritates him. But most importantly the final episode shows us Sam moving from thinking the mission is what matters just like John. To thinking his family matters more. He doesnt shoot Azazel inside John and when John berates him for it his look at the bloodied-up Dean in the rearview mirror speaks volumes.

It's all the more striking because thus argument has been the core dilemma for the last 3 episodes. It's also the crux of how Dean, for all his obedience, sees himself as falling short of who his father wants him to be. He cant turn his heart off. Its Dean who calls his dad sounding like a tearful little boy in Home. It's when John approves of him making the heart choice and using the colt to save Sam, that Dean realises it's not his father but Azazel speaking. I find that painful to watch it's been so well set up. You get lots of preview of Dean really wanting approval and when it finally comes and you're all ahh fsmily bonding, Dean puts it together and goes you're not my father. Ouch.

Absent fathers and eventually I guess an absent God is a big spn theme. So there is something to say for looking at it in this season. John's absence is the driver of the whole season. But it's also the foundation stone of both Sam and Dean's character. What we get most of in s1 is a sense of the impact of his fathers absence on Dean. The childhood neglect, but also the absence of approval. My European background always makes it jarring when children address their father as sir so I hope I'm not over reading this. When John gets back the way it emasculates Dean is jarring. The jumping to attention with the yessirs and the following orders is such a distance from the cocky law breaker. Its interesting that the first scenes in which I recall the boys speaking in unison are these yessirs. But the scene I remember most is a trivial one, Dean offers John a machete out of Babys messy looking trunk - hes already been pulled up by dad for inadequate car maintenance. But John pulls a bigger, better, cleaner machete out of his high spec truck - Dead Mans Blood. Sums it up for me. Dean is so eager for approval, his father withholds it so casually. Sam is less like this, because he had Dean to parent him however ineptly. Sam did not have a hoid parent in Dean, but Dean showed up. Sam starts to make that realisation in season 1 and there are a few thank you moments. Contrast Dean's only outburst against his father when hes admonished to call when in trouble. He takes a leaf out of Sam's book and notes that they did call in Lawrence and they called when Dean was dying in Faith, hes angry and rightly so. John didn't show. But its interesting that Dean's fight with John sounds like a child fighting with a parent. It even ends with 'I dont care for your tone' from John even as he accepts Dean's point. Constrast Sam and John who have a much deeper ongoing disagreement. But Sam fights his father from an adult position. He's not looking for approval or acceptance, Sam claims his ground, argues his point. Dean still just needs to be loved.

But as well as the impact of the absent parent there is also having grown beyond the parent. I feel like the final few episodes show us that 'the boys' have surpassed their father. John's fake colt idea is lame and Dean calls it. By contrast the devils trap at Bobby's to catch Meg feels like a moment of brilliance particularly as the trap is sprung on the viewer so we feel surprised too.. Sure they call in help from Bobby, but what they do is well planned and they pull it off. And calling in helo when you need it us grown up.

Theres an element of fate vs character exploration when it comes to Sam and Dean. What happens to Sam is fate. It's not related to how he is or how he behaves. We find that out more fully soon. Whereas what happend to Dean relates to his character. IMO Dean actually has the option of walking away from hunting that Sam tried to exercise. Unlike Sam, hunting wouldn't have pursued Dean by killing his girlfriend. But Dean's character means he doesnt chose to walk away because family is important to him, in a way that it isn't for Sam until the end of this season. Its interesting that Sam perceives of himself as having choices he doesn't have. Whereas Dean sees himself as having no choice, when in fact he does. But I guess we don't know that yet so maybe the argument doesn't work?

#supernatural #sam #dean #winchester

[captainthane]

My Caretaker Is A Demon: The Connection

Everything had been tried. Meditation. Harsh words. Encouragements. Nothing worked. I couldn’t still produce any impactful fire or fireball. Xel was getting more and more impatient. I was doing my best. It wasn’t enough. It was annoying a lot. We decided to take a break for the day.

- Urgh. You will succeed. I will bring out that fire of yours! But for now, we stop. We are waiting some guests. (Xel)

I nodded and went inside to clean myself before the arrival of these guests. Xel was already ready for them. She didn’t tell me who they were. I was hoping we would have a good time together. Me and Xel needed to have fun. It was too tense these past few days.

---

Jeff wished he could use his bike but it turned out it would be the teleportation. It felt always weird to be teleported. He kinda understood why humans didn’t invent it yet. Lilith wanted him to meet some parts of the crew. The “interdimensional” crew as she said. People who have been in contact with demons and angels. He wasn’t surprised tho. He was sure he wasn’t the only one to live such a thing. However, he didn’t know he was gonna meet a Talbot.

- Teleportation again?! Can’t we use my motorbike? (Jeff)

- They live too far away from here to visit them in time~ We will teleport~ Plus, I love your crestfallen face when we teleport~ Give me your hand~ (Lilith)

He sighed and held her hand while they teleported them in front of one Lilith’s house. 

- Here we are~ (Lilith)

---

I could hear the door bell and we opened the door. It was Lilith! I was happy to see her. And there was a man with him. I didn’t recognise him. Another human? 

- You were not joking. You really are dating a human. (Xel)

- He is attractive, funny, honest and handsome. That’s a win-win for me~ (Lilith)

Me and the other man were quite silent and didn’t know what to say. 

- But humans are so boring and lame. You could have chosen better. (Xel)

- Hey, I’m still here! (Archie)

- I know~ That’s why I said that~ (Xel)

She brushed my hair to make it messy. I smiled. I missed her sassiness. Lilith and Xel giggled while the other man smiled too. At least, I wasn’t the only one to deal with sassy demons. 

- I present you Jeff~ (Lilith)

- Hi Jeff~ Nice to meet you~ I’m Xel~ If you ever get bored with Lilith, don’t hesitate to come to me~ (Xel)

And she winked. They giggled again while the man called Jeff was blushing a bit.

- Don’t be seduced too fast~ (Lilith)

- I won’t! Nice to meet you Xel! (Jeff)

- And this is Archie. The brat I’m forced to take care of. (Xel)

- Hi. (Archie)

I approached Jeff and we shaked hands. Suddenly I felt a vivid pain in my head and I saw him dying and being resurrected. That shocked me and I stepped back rubbing my head.

---

When he had Archie’s hand, his head was painful as he had a flash of seeing the kid being tortured and experimented by his mom. He stepped back too, almost falling down.

- You are immortal...(Archie)

- You have demon powers...(Jeff)

Everyone was shocked and speechless. Lilith put her hand on his shoulder, worried. On the other hand, Xel went on her knees and put her two hands on Archie’s shoulders. Then, Xel and Lilith stared at each other. 

- That’s new. (Xel and Lilith)

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And new story 0w0. Jeff is meeting Xel and Archie! Oh boi what’s going on? 0w0

Jeff, Archie and Xel belong to me

Lilith belongs to me and @wildstarfan

Okaria et feria belongs to me and @wildstarfan

[willows-adventures-in-words]

Now that October is over I’m gonna share my thoughts on my prompts from the month. I guess this could be considered a director's cut of sorts. So if anyone is interested in that sort of thing it’ll be under a read more since I have 16 prompts so it’ll be long.

The Whumptober prompt from day 1. I can't remember if I wrote this one first or if I wrote the other day one prompt first. But this one was interesting since it's the start of a new au. (Honestly, I need to stop making more.) As well as a honest attempt at writing a zombie apocalypse type story. I took some reference points from the game 7 Days to Die, hence the au title. But in regards to the prompt, it was the set up for the other day one prompt since I knew what I was doing for the other one already. I had to get Chase and Anti to meet and become travel buddies. But for that to happen Chase had to suffer a little. He had to lose what he had otherwise he wouldn't end up traveling with Anti. It was interesting to write. With Chase's regret and attempted suicide... Obviously, I knew he wasn't going to die but it still hurt to write it. And his little voice of doubt. Also, I can't help but like the quote, “She was my wife, you insensitive fuck.” a little more than I should.

The Egoshiptober prompt, as I said I knew what I was doing already. It hadn't taken long to decide that it would be Anti who had fallen for Chase. That he had no knowledge if Chase would feel the same for him or not. I had debated it for a bit if it would be unrequited or not. After discussing it with one of my two readers IRL I have concluded with certainty that, no it is not unrequited. Chase, at this point isn't aware that that is how he feels yet though. He cares a lot about Anti at this point, they've been through a lot after all. But since the only relationship he's had was with Stacy he can't quite comprehend his relationship with Anti in that way yet. Though despite that, I feel like the hints are there. I'm happy with how this turned out. Chase's concern for Anti. The trust and the history between them. As well as Anti's realization over how he feels about Chase. Realization settled over him like a warm blanket. I loved that line. I'm proud of that line.

The Whumptober prompt for day 3 was different than what I'm used to. I had an idea, but couldn't quite work it out. And originally this one and day 15 were going to be one and the same when I realized I could break them up and complete two prompts (yay). But anyway, the beginning of this one was difficult to figure out. But once I got to the confrontation between Jackie and the gang leader I started to work through it pretty quickly. This one, like all my prompts actually, I have all this background info in my head that has no place in the prompt that I can work with. With this one for example, Henrik was kidnapped by the gang as he was leaving work because one of their own was injured. As well as the fact that the gang leader really didn't intend to injure Henrik but Jackie inadvertently pushed him into action. It was a convenience that they still had Henrik there when Jackie showed up. In the end I enjoyed writing this one.

The Whumptober prompt for day 4 was pretty much an excuse to write what happened immediately after Marvin was sold at the auction in my winged AU. I'd been mulling over what happens after off-and-on ever since I'd written it and now I had a reason to write it. Or part of it anyway since he's going to be there for awhile.

Now, the Whumptober prompt for day 7 I knew when I saw the prompt option of Enemy to Caretaker that I was going to do a superhero-villain thing with Jackie and Marvin. Than Anti came into the picture because, obviously, Marvin had to become Jackie's rival turned caretaker. I pretty much had this one mapped out from the get go. Background info on this one is that Marvin has history with Anti so when he saw the shape Jackie was in, as well as the uncomfortable feeling in the air, he knew Anti was involved. At the end of this one though I had debated on how Marvin was going to seal off the place so Anti couldn't get to them. One option was a sort of switch next to the door making the place disappear or something. In the end I ended up leaving it vague. I'd also thought to make this one longer and add a bit when Jackie wakes up in a bed but decided against it.

Whumptober day 8 prompt. This one was... This one was personal. I wrote it about myself. So... yeah.

Anyway, day 9 was Egoshiptober. And this one was unexpected. I hadn't expected or planned to write it. I was at work thinking about the prompt list and the idea came to me. How Jackie goes to Henrik to patch him up when he gets hurt. Then one day he accidentally blurts out how he feels about him. Before Henrik really has a chance to address it Jackie makes up an excuse and bolts out. He avoids Henrik for two weeks before Henrik searches for him and, upon finding him, asks him on a date. And voila! The story was born from there. It was surprisingly easy and fun to write. Especially the second half when Jackie started to relax. Their banter was my favorite part. And when Jackie takes Henrik's hand at the end just makes me smile when I reread it.

Day 10 for Egoshiptober was the fastest and easiest for me to write. Simply because I had already written something with them before; though I'm constantly unsure if I'll ever post it (a snippet of it is posted now tho). So when I saw the prompt I knew right away. This was one of the first prompts I wrote. I also believe it's one of the sweetest things I've written as well. I love it. It never fails to makes me smile.

Now the day 11 prompt for Egoshiptober was an accident. It was the tenth and I was doing my updates on here when I realized it was the day that has been labeled as Anti's birthday. Which I didn't realize. So, I checked my list to see who was available to pair him with (everyone except Chase) and came up with this. Originally I was going to add a part when Jackie finds out he missed Anti's birthday, but couldn't make it work. My favorite bit was the very ending. I was smiling nonstop when I thought of it.

And this one. Day 13 for Egoshiptober. My god it took me forever to figure out what I was going to do with it. All I knew for weeks was that it was going to be with Jackie and Marvin. Then finally (after I wrote the last prompt of the month) I figured it out. Jackie's hair changing when he wore his mask. I was so happy when I figured out what to do. I remember writing a good portion of it at work. There are a lot of little things I liked with this one but my favorite part to write was when Marvin magically kept Jackie from coming in the room and the bickerment that went with it.

Ah yes. Day 15 for Whumptober. The second half of day 3's prompt. This one took time. I knew what I wanted with it but had no idea how to go about it. I actually found myself doing research (which is a rarity for me). Once I thought of it, I fell in love with the idea of Henrik teaching Marvin how to heal and repair the human body. The problem came in when I had to actually write it. I had, and still don't really know, how to write someone doing magic. I had also thought to add a scene at the end of this for when Jackie arrives at Henrik's place to find them both asleep. This is one of the prompts that made me the happiest when it was finished. That I actually wrote magic in a way that made sense. Honestly, I am so proud of how that turned out.

Prompt 19 for Whumptober wasn't supposed to be so long. But I couldn't just have the grief and mourning without some lead up. Then it turned into this. I mean, there couldn't be no side-effects to what happened in the very first prompt of the month. The thing with this one was I wanted them indoors, that's where the lead up came in. 'Cause clearly homes and residential areas aren't going to be 100% safe during a zombie apocalypse. Some background on this one; I already, more or less, know Anti's background. He's lost someone as well. Though they weren't in a relationship like Chase and Stacy, but he's gone through it as well. He just handled it differently than Chase did and had more time to coup with the loss. Though Chase was glad he finally had a name he could call his travel buddy. As well as being happy at the little bit of conversation they had.

When I saw the prompt Crown for the 22nd day of Egoshiptober the first thing I thought of was royalty. But with no idea how to make that work, I remembered those cardboard crowns from Burger King from when I was a kid. I thought, hey, I could work with that. It was slow progress figuring this one out after that though. I knew it would be Henrik, Chase, and Chase's kids, but outside of that I was clueless. I don't know how to write children. How was I going to make this work... Well, after I finished it and had my IRL proofreader read it, I was pleasantly surprised to be told I hit the mark on the age bracket I was aiming for. As with some of the other prompts, it's the little things with this one that I liked. The willingness of Henrik to join in on the antics. While at the same time taking control of it. The kids siding with Henrik. This one was fun.

I kinda felt bad that for Egoshiptober day 25 I made it sad. I mean, I coulda done haunted house or something. But no. I went with one of the two dying and 'haunting' the other. That Marvin's spirit stayed with Chase. Though despite it being sad there is some distinct sweetness there too. Marvin doesn't want Chase to drink himself to the bottom of the bottle. How Marvin is trying to take care of him while getting used to his own situation. I love how heart-wrenching yet sweet this is. Marvin's little 'I love you.' that wakes up Chase during the last bit. Then he brushes his hair out of the way and kisses his forehead. It's just... so sweet. I also had thoughts to continue this one and make it longer. But I didn't since where I ended it felt like enough. Also, I felt it would loss the 'haunted' feel to it if I made it longer and expanded on it.

The prompt for the 28th day was an Alternate prompt from the Whumptober list. This one I was really nervous to post. I was so afraid of having negativity thrown at me for writing something I have zero personal experience in. Despite my concerns, I personally like how it turned out. It's part of backstory to another story I have started. As I said, I have no personal experience in the situation I had written. I have much sympathy to anyone who has as well as much resentment to those who have put someone in that situation.

And finally, day 30 for the Egoshiptober prompt. As well as an Alternate prompt from the Whumptober list. This was surprisingly one of the first prompts I'd written. I think it was anyway. It turned out longer than I had expected it to. But I'm very happy with how it turned out. My proofreader, one of the two people who I feel comfortable enough with to read my writing IRL, liked this so much she wanted a continuation. Personally, there's so much I like with this one. Again a lot of little things. The ending is just... heartbreaking for Jackie though.

[cancerianprincess]

“I Do Care” (Part Two) Erik Killmonger x Reader

| Part One |

Inspiration: ‘Caretaker’ by DRAM feat. SZA

Description: The “Wakandan Bad Boy” might not be the best at expressing his feelings, but he can certainly show you better than he can tell you…

Warning: Language; Mild Sexual Implications

A/N: Okay sooo, I know I said in the previous part that this one would be more “exciting” but I kinda got carried away with the story concept, and well...long story short there’s gonna be a Part Three 🤷🏾‍♀️ but that’ll be the last and final part I promise !! In the meantime though, I hope y’all enjoy this continuation as much as the first part !

****

Taking in the sight ahead, you found yourself standing inside the master bathroom, which was being illuminated by an abundance of creme colored candles lined up along the back of the sink and toilet.

Continuing the inspection, your eyes fell on the tub that had been prepared with a luxurious bubble bath, and littered with red and pink rose pedals that trailed out into a pathway leading back to the spot where your feet were planted. Upon doing a double take, you now noticed a fancy towel lying on top of the closed toilet seat that was being weighed down by a single glass, a bottle of wine, and two perfectly rolled blunts accompanied by a lighter and ashtray.

Finally breaking the mild shock that currently held you captive, music from an unseen source suddenly filled your ears. As the sound of SZA’s vocals began reverberating throughout the room, you turned back to gaze at Erik, who was wearing a grin composed of satisfaction and relief.

“W-what is all this?”

Although your deductive reasoning skills were well beyond functional, you asked the question anyway, fishing for confirmation from the gorgeous man who had now made his way over to hug you lightly from behind.

“Well hopefully,” he began while simultaneously reaching for the hem of your hoodie currently enclosing your upper body, “It’s me proving you wrong.”

You instinctively raised your arms to allow Erik to remove the jacket and toss it into a random corner, revealing nothing but a bra underneath. While softly placing kisses on your shoulder, Erik’s hands traveled further south until they reached their destination and made to undo the button and zipper of your jeans. He went on to issue more instructions, this time with a low growl in his voice that caused your insides to involuntarily quiver.

“Shoes, baby girl.”

Knowing what he meant, you kicked out of your socks and shoes while trying to not completely fall apart under his touch. Proceeding with the task at hand, Erik continued peeling you out your clothes, rolling down both your pants and underwear together like they were one until they hit your knees. As you shimmied your bottoms the rest of the way down and stepped out of them, you felt strong and familiar hands travel back up your body and unclasp the last piece of clothing standing in the way of you being completely bare.

“Damn girl,” Erik uttered, now circling to face you. “Here I am tryna be all romantic and shit, but yo’ sexy ass making it real hard.”

He began drinking in your beauty with a lustful look in his eyes, looking you up and down as he slowly licked his lips. As if attempting to break out of some sort of trance, he give a quick shake of his head to rid himself of the lewd thoughts running through his mind.

You smacked your lips at the remark, rolling your eyes to avoid meeting Erik’s, but the heat rising to your cheeks failed you in trying to suppress the smile brought to your face by his flattery. Erik then extended a hand in your direction, assumingly to guide you over and help you into the bath, and said something that would only make you blush even harder.

“Man, if I don’t hurry up and get you in this damn tub, I’ma carry you back to the room and blow yo’ fucking back out.”

Having that comment hit your ears sent tingles down your spine, and to other places as well, so you hurriedly stepped over and accepted the assistance before Erik could act on the deed he’d just spoken of, especially since past experiences had proven that he was good on his word.

Climbing over the side and submerging yourself until the bubbles rested right at your collarbone, you winced as the temperature of the water hit your sore muscles, but began to relax almost immediately, deciding that you deserved to unwind after all your hard work.

Normally you wouldn’t let your companion get off so easily by allowing him to woo you with his gifts or charisma, but something about this occasion convinced you that indulging just the once wouldn’t hurt. It wasn’t often Erik carried out his gestures to this degree, although he often showed his appreciation in other ways, so you decided to milk it for all it was worth and see where it led.

Coming down to your level, Erik perched himself on the edge of the tub and bent halfway over and grabbed you by your chin. Tilting your head back, he brought you up the rest of the way and finally closed the gap with a slow and seductive kiss. Much too soon for your liking, Erik broke the embrace and moved to whisper something in your ear.

“Just relax, baby. It’s my turn to take care of you.”

He then picked up one of the pearled blunts, placed it between your lips, and proceeded to light it. Taking a long pull, you happily complied and closed your eyes as you slid to lean against the back wall of the tub, currently feeling anything but rebellious. Now relishing peacefully in your surprise, silence fell upon your ears for about a minute or two before hearing the sounds of a cork popping, and liquid being poured as one type of glass clinked against another. While continuing to smoke on the therapeutic herb, you suddenly felt something nudge your shoulder, pulling your from your daze.

“Aye, big head, you gone scoot up and let me in or what?”

You opened your eyes and saw a delicious sight before you; Erik, looking even more dazzling in the low light of the candles, was now completely naked as well and holding a glass of wine. Not really giving you a chance to answer, or stare any longer at his chiseled form, Erik began to climb over the tub and wedge himself between you and the back wall.

“What?” He chuckled at the puzzled look on your face. “You ain’t think you were gone have all this to yourself, did you?” Erik quickly swapped the blunt between your fingers with the wine he’d just fixed, and took a long pull from it as well.

You turned around partially to face him. “Well, to be honest, yeah, I kinda did.” Taking a sip from your glass, you shot an eyebrow in his direction and watched for his next move. Erik gave a brief exhale and made to repeat the same process again before placing the blunt on the nearby ash tray and directing his attention back on you.

“Well, you thought wrong,” he said in minor imitation of you. “You said your piece before you left, so now it’s my turn to talk.” Placing his hands on both your shoulders, Erik turned you so that your back met his chest once again and proceeded to start massaging the masses of flesh and bones in his grasp.

“Look, babe,” he began, pausing to take another quick huff of the blunt as if trying to calm his nerves. “I ain’t do all this to try and get off easy with you. I did it ‘cause I want you to know I really thought about what you said some days ago.” You sensed him stiffen a bit, trying to find the right words to project his thoughts. Further enhancing your slightly intoxicated state, you sipped more of the wine as Erik went on with his dialogue.

“I guess the real reason I act so reckless at times is because I know you out there watching my back while we handling a job or somethin’. I knew that if anything ever went down, you would have my follow-up no matter what. You were this powerful and amazing girl who could take care of herself, so when shit started getting serious for us, I kinda had this feeling I could trust you to take care of me, too. Somewhere in there tho, it just kinda became a habit for me, knowing you could patch me up and I’d be good as new.”

Erik fell silent for a brief moment, gauging for any sort of sign from you as you played with the pedals floating atop the water.

“But you were right. I know if it was switched, and I had to see you hurt and wounded all the time, I’d lose my fucking mind. I wasn’t thinking ‘bout how all that rubs off on you, or how much you gotta suffer just to make sure I’m straight. That’s why I was so damn happy when you got home. I just knew you were leaving me when you walked out for that mission; that even when you finished it, you wouldn’t be back. And the worst part is, I wouldn’t know if you made it back safe, or if somebody had…”

His voice trailed off, causing you to whip back around to look at him. His eyes had darted off to the side, while his jaw visibly got tighter by the second. Hating to see him so frazzled by the image he’d created, you reached up to cup Erik’s jaw and started stroking his cheek lightly with your thumb.

Appearing to do the trick, Erik folded into your hand and almost instantly you felt some of his tension melt away, pulling him back to reality. It was a gesture you’d to come to learn that would often calm him whenever his mind started wandering down certain rabbit holes. Now peering into your softened expression, Erik brought his hand up to overlap the one you had hovering against his face.

“What I’m tryna say,” he started up again, “is that I know I was real wrong, and I’m real sorry for not thinking of you like I should’ve.

At that moment, Erik stretched his arm outside of the tub, and dove into a small crevice between it and the toilet. After some seconds of maneuvering, you saw him pull out the object of his retrieval, which was a sizable black box covered in suede. As you eyed the box, you couldn’t help but feel your heart begin to race a bit as you tried to think what could lie inside.

“This nigga and all his damn surprises,” you thought to yourself.

You rotated the rest of your body so that you were now resting on your knees, careful not to splash water on the floor. It was then you took notice again to the music and heard the sound of Drake’s “Fire and Desire” playing in the air now. Like it were meant to be his cue, Erik opened his mouth to talk again.

“Look I know I ain’t perfect, but if you accept this, then I swear I’ma always and forever put you first from here on out.”

He lifted the lid on the box, and as its contents came into view, you could feel your jaw involuntary drop because inside the case, laid a diamond studded necklace. The jewels danced and glimmered as light bounced off its reflective surface, and suddenly everything seemed to be a blur.

“That’s why I been pickin’ up so many extra jobs; to save up on the side so I could finally cop this for you.”

Your vision traveled back and forth from the jewelry and Erik, and you could see him awaiting any sort of response from you. While you were still reeling from astonishment, the Wakandan outlaw used the opportunity to seize the glass from your hand, setting it off to the side.

Erik removed the bedazzled chain from its wrappings, and set the box down on the opposite side of the bath.

“I actually started to get you a ring, but since you usually knocking niggas out all the time that probably wouldn’t be the best choice.” He undid the clamp and brought it forward to fasten around your neck.

“Still though, I figured if I was gone make you my ol’ lady then you needed to be some type of iced out, right?”

And all of a sudden, it was you who had been struck with realization. The necklace, his strange behavior in the past few weeks, the extra jobs, the grandiose surprise, what he’d said right after you had gotten home; it all made sense now. This was Erik’s way of working up to propose to you. Hooking the clamp in place at last, Erik adjusted it so that it sat just right against your skin as your widened eyes went to look him in the face.

“So wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.” you stammered as a sly grin started spreading across his lips.

“But that means-”

“Yes?” He interjected.

“Are you really saying what I think you’re saying?”

Erik only threw his head back in laughter.

“Damn ma! I mean I will if I have to, but don’t tell me I gotta spell it out for yo’ smar-”

But he never got the chance to finish his sentence, because you cut him off mid-remark, leaping forward and sending your lips crashing into his with great force. Catching you by the small of your back, Erik returned your energy and kissed you back just as passionately. You two continued with the feverish lip-locking until both of you were forced to break apart for air. Erik touched his forehead to yours and glanced into your face.

“I want you to be mine, baby. All mine, all the time. Just say you will.”

You couldn’t help but smile from cheek to cheek as the words of confirmation rung in your ears.

“Hell yeah, I will!” You exclaimed in a delighted voice, and went to pull the sensational man before you back in for another kiss. At this point, any negative feelings or anger that previously plagued you had completely vanished. The only thing you felt now was complete admiration for your new fiance, and and increasing desire for him to alleviate the sexual tension that had been resonating with you since he had stripped you naked.

Determined to get what you wanted, you deepened the ongoing kiss by placing your arms on his shoulders and drawing him as close as you could. Picking up on your body language, Erik began to run his hands up and down your back until they at last found your ass cheeks and gave them a firm squeeze. Appreciating the action, you gracefully raised off your knees just enough to move and straddle yourself across his lower region.

You began grinding your hips against his now erect member as a reward, and synced your hips with the rhythm of the kiss. This time around, Erik was the one to initiated the separation, and spoke just above a whisper in a voice that was laced with the need to be buried inside you.

“So does this mean you done being mad at Daddy now?”

That familiar shiver crawled through you again, and prompted you to kiss a short trail up his jaw and to his ear where you nibbled around the area.

“Only if you give me what you promised before I got in.”

You pulled back and smiled wickedly, gauging for the instant when your words would resonate with him. But Erik needed no reminder, fully aware of the filthy activity he’d suggested earlier, and reflected your sinister look in return.

“Mmm,” he growled, “I was hoping you was gone say that.”

                                              End of Part Two

*Taglist*: @myboyfriendgiriboy @purple-apricots @jecourt @destinio1 @blue-ishx @iamrheaspeaks @janellemonaenae @tiava143 @blackgirlmarvel @wheredidallthedreamersgo

[oceanivoxjoquainx]

Rant on Andi Mack Season 2 Episode 3

Aite I guess imma be doing this now cuz why not? 😂😂😂 My thoughts on the episode was a giant "Yassssss". Once again imma go through each character and talk about what I thought of them.

Andi- Once again our girl Andi's pushing Becs about info on Gabriel which she gets. How she warms up to Amber in the end is adorable and how well she convinces Bex to have tht closing schedule was great too. She needs to let go of her perfect family ideal tho if she hopes to function better.

Buffy- She's amazing as always and #BuffyMadeTheTeam! so yassss to that as well. I feel bad for Marty tho but I can't wait to see Buffy mop the floor with TJ even tho she seems to like him a lot. I think her mom is definitely in the army now and still can't wait for that story arc. Her support of Cyrus is phenomenal again and her protection of Andi is always a treat to see. Especially when she responds to Cyrus' self doubt with "Cyrus, you're already OK" she's just the perfect friend and every one needs one of her

Amber- I'm not sure about her. She's 50/50 for me rn. Idk if she really wants to generally be Andi and co's friend or if she's just a snake in the grass as Buffy says. Her situation at home is getting even worse when we see her selling her clothes. That was sad tbh. Just gonna have to wait to see what she's about.

Bex- I think Gabriel was her ex-fiance because he seems farrrrr too important to her. I'm glad she's letting go tho. I'm sure he'll come up again later tho cuz he's just too imposing on her life. She keeps her pic with Bowie in the same place where she keeps her and Andi which is heartwarming (not to mention young Bowie's kinda hot). I love how well she fit into the role of a caretaker and homemaker. Her and Andi seem to be well settled.

Cyrus- Finally my cinnamon roll Cyrus. He is still too cute and innocent and soft and must be protected an- OK lemme stop that 😂😂. Him and Iris would make perfect besties and hopefully they'll grow to be like that. I don't see Iris to be the type to scorn Cyrus. The chaste kiss he gave her cringed the hell outta me and you could see the hesitance. Cyrus was super close to telling Iris what was up too hut then he left. I really think she's going to be the next to know. His clear crush on Jonah is still clear. I really don't know how Andi is going to take it cuz she is really territorial 😂. Tht scene with Cyrus ranting to Buffy is cute and once again very well planned out. He's always going to have Buffy's reassurance which I think will be really important in future episodes when this whole Jyrus situation hits the ceiling fan.

This was a great episode and I can't wait for the Jyrus drama and Becs leaving home and teen pregnancy drama next week. 😁😂

[ladyjenise]

My Last Jedi Thoughts (SPOILER WARNINGS SO SCROLL YOUR ASS AWAY IF YOU’RE ON MOBILE)

And if you’re not on mobile, congrats! Click to after the cut:

Ok, so I think I have to do this in point form:

-the beginning with Poe was fucking amazing. I do love space battles and this was a really good one. But I also laughed my ass off at Hux

-Hux was a little bitch throughout the movie but when he tries to step up to Kylo and Kylo just force chokes him, my friend and I just turned to each other and said “what a little bitch”. Basically, I loved snivelling, jealous Hux.

-Finn was good. I loved Rose. She had some really great moments. There were times when I was like “I love her”. I was so sad her sister died. :(

-LUKE. Oh Luke. The green milk scene tho... I was Rey (I think we all were tbh... when she makes that “oh god I made eye contact” face I was like dying)

-Despite being hardcore Kylo and Rey, I think I enjoyed Luke’s arc in the movie the most. The ending was super sad tho. I know why it had to be that way but...

-Yoda cameo was fucking hilarious. When Luke has his “Imma burn this shit” moment, then decides not to, and Yoda’s like “lol watch this bitch” and sets the fire anyway and laughs, I lost it.  I am Yoda. BURN IT ALL!

-Luke again: his fight with Kylo was lit af. Kylo, pure power, can’t land a hit. And I’m like “lol he’s distracting you, idiot”

-When Luke is training Rey for the first time and he’s like “reach out” and she literally does. Then he slaps her hand for being a fuckin’ dumbass. XD

_Benicio Del Toro’s character, DJ, needed more screen time.

-Holdo’s end was great. I love her. She was totally representing the honourable sacrifice. I mean, so did Paige (Rose’s sister) and Finn almost kinda did (but not really, as Rose explains). Bless those characters and RIP.

-Holdo warping that fucking ship right through that damn First Order ship lol

-Rose, to Finn: when she says they shouldn’t fight the things they hate, but fight for the things they love... I feel like that’s foreshadowing, not specifically on anyone but on the series and life in general. But also a nice transition into what’s been discussed as the main event...

-Rey and Kylo... together, on their own, I love them. I actually kinda felt their relationship progressed too fast, but well, I’ll take it.

-Rey: her parentage reveal wasn’t a total surprise. After reading some decent meta, I became firmly placed in the camp that believed her parents were just nobodies. But I didn’t realize they’d go where they went with it. And there’s a few aspects I want to talk about related to it:

1. Rey always struck me as an unreliable narrator in her own story. This is because that, although she would describe herself as “no one” and “just a scavenger”, her actions always spoke to a certain level of pride and a Marty McFly-esque level of “if you say I can’t do it then I am totally going to do it just because you told me not to”, which totally points to a nature that is much less humble than she tries to act. I’m not shitting on Rey, btw. I love her to bits and this character building is excellent. It shows how damaged and flawed her thinking is. However, Kylo is still a huge asshole for talking to her the way he did (more on that later)

2. Rey’s parents being drunk assholes really struck me for two reasons. Firstly, I’ve worked for 9 years for an organization that works with children living in poverty. A LOT of kids come from really rough backgrounds. Many stories of parents abandoning them, alcohol sometimes being a factor in abuse and abandonment. They’re hard stories to process, especially when there are so many. Rey isn’t real, but her background is a very real reality for so many children in the world. Poverty is a very cruel thing to live with, and punishes many. Secondly, I’ve got a few alcoholics in my family who have made some very poor decisions that have hurt others. My grandfather died homeless and alone because of it. It’s a very sad thing. I can get into this aspect of Rey’s character a bit too personally, and it’s fucking sad.

-Rey has a lot of great scenes in this movie. When she slices the rocks off the ledge and onto the wheelbarrow of those caretakers, I was like lol. Also when she says about the caretakers “I don’t think they like me”, like no shit, hun. Stop breaking shit. Rey is a bit of a walking disaster lol

-When Rey falls headfirst into the whole and in the water, I have totally been on a waterslide like that. It probably isn’t that high of a fall, but it’s pretty terrifying.

-I don’t get the part with the multiple Reys, but when she wanted to see her parents I was like “oh cool it’s the Mirror of Erised” but then it got weird. Again, I don’t get it. I’ll need someone smarter than me to explain it. I trust the director enough that it should have been there. It was nice it gave her something to chat about with Kylo lol “Durr, and then I fell into the water and it was fucking cold. Weird huh?”

-Speaking of Harry Potter shit, when Rey could hear voices leading her to the tree in island Mordor, it sounded like the snake language from Harry Potter and I was like “oh dank, Rey is a parsletongue”

-When Rey shoots at Kylo’s image and you think for a moment that Luke seems Kylo too but he’s asking what the hell happened to the wall in the hut that the caretakers are now frantically patching, and Rey’s like “oh i was uh... cleaning my blaster”. Ok, Melanie Hamilton lol

-Before I get to Kylo, I swear to fucking god there was a Spaceballs reference when DJ slices into the system to get a weakness in the shields and that guy’s screen blips and he’s touching it. I was waiting for the guy to call over Hux or something. “There’s something wrong with the radar, sir”

-Some of the interactions with Hux and Kylo were very Spaceballs-esque, too. I just really like Spaceballs. It was one of my favourite movies as a kid and I saw it long before i ever saw Star Wars.

-Kylo... Oh Kylo. First of all, you need to learn to talk to women. I mean, you were doing ok, and then you FUCKED IT UP. If you’re trying to propose to a woman, telling her she comes from garbage and how you’re her best option is so, so not the way to go about it.

-The part when he takes off his cloak to rush Snoke in the beginning was hot. Him getting shot with lightning immediately after was also hot, but in a literal, burning sort of way. I enjoyed both, and it was a great set up for what happened later.

-Kylo lying to Hux saying that Rey killed Snoke was LOL

-Kylo killing Snoke was A++  I legit did not think they’d just straight up have Kylo basically choose Rey over Snoke but it was right there. Love it.

-Kylo and Rey in the throne room fight was pure sex.

-Kylo and Rey FORCE BOND.

-Kylo and Rey in the elevator.

-Kylo and Rey in the hut. Luke with the cockblock lol

-Rey calling Kylo a snake and yelling at him about his dad. ;.; I imagined them having that EXACT conversation at some point. It’s basically Rey saying Kylo was spoiled and didn’t appreciate his dad and Kylo saying Rey has dad issues and keeps chasing after men to be her surrogate father figure. Again, Kylo, you need to work on your courtship skills because they are subpar, at best.

-When Kylo says “please” in the most pathetic voice ever. That’s when I knew he was completely, totally, helplessly in love with her and that is going to be the only thing that’s going to save him. And let me be VERY clear: I don’t think she will save him. I think he will change to be the man she deserves (somehow, and oh god I don’t know how they’re gonna do it).

-Any time Kylo and Rey touch hands

-Going back to the throne room fight, when Kylo keeps an eye on Rey during the fight to make sure she’s ok.

-That part when Rey drops the lightsaber to kill that one guard. I was like “THAT IS THE MOST BADASS MOVE I HAVE EVER SEEN” and then right after she throws the saber to Kylo and then he pulls off THE NEXT MOST BADASS MOVE I HAVE EVER SEEN

-When Kylo orders them to just shoot the shit out of Luke and afterwards Hux is like “you think you got him?”  XD

-And finally, THE OFFER. I was waiting for him to just yell “TAKE MY DAMN HAND ALREADY, WOMAN!” cause he looked like that’s what he wanted to say but that’s the Kylo in him talking. The Ben in him is saying “maybe if I wait a lilllllllltle longer she’ll come around”

[thelastspeecher]

maybe a de-aged Mergucket au with 🐲 - dragon? (Maybe the Stan to kid one?)

🐲  - dragon

Instead of the Stan to kid one, I went with the egg Stan one, since I got a really good idea for this prompt, in the context of that particular AU.  A bit of background of the AU for folks: This is yet another AU of the MerGucket AU, and in it, Stan basically pisses off a fairy, who curses him and turns him into a mer egg.  The fairy turns Ford mer (full mer - Ford doesn’t have a belly button; his unfamiliarity with being mer is the only hint that he wasn’t always mer) as well, so that he can properly take care of his now younger than an infant twin brother.  Ford basically panics and swims around for a few hours before coming across some of the MerGuckets.  He explains his situation, and even tho the MerGuckets have issues believing him, they let Ford and the egg stay with them.  Stan’s egg hatches, and the MerGuckets insist that Ford be the new guppy’s main caretaker, which results in a father-son rather than brotherly relationship.  Ford fights it, but gives in when Stan’s about three, since his refusal to let Stan call him “Dad” just makes Stan get upset.  Eventually, Fiddleford becomes Ford’s mate, and just like that, Stan has two dads.  This ficlet takes place when Stan is four.

That was a long-ass explanation for a prompt that ended up over a thousand words, so part of the prompt is gonna be under a cut for readability.

Send me an emoji and I’ll write you a ficlet!

               “Dad, tell me another story,”Stan whined.  Ford raised an eyebrow.

               “You’re still not sleepy?”

               “Nope,” Stan said, shaking hishead.  

               “Well, I could just sing you tosleep…” Ford said idly.  

               “Noooo,” Stan saiddramatically.  He flopped across Ford’slap, eliciting a small chuckle.

               “All right, I won’t put you inthe guppy basket quite yet,” Ford said, stroking Stan’s hair.  “What sort of story do you want?”

               “Why don’t you call me ‘son’like Pa does?” Stan said suddenly.  Fordfroze.

               “That’s not the answer to myquestion, Stanley.”

               “Yeah, but I wanna know.  I know you don’t call me that.  I’ve been payin’ attention.”

               “You have, have you?”

               “Duh.  It’s weird. You don’t call me ‘son’, and you only started lettin’ me call you ‘Dad’last year,” Stan said.  Ford swallowednervously and resumed stroking Stan’s hair.

               “It’s- it’s because of howthings worked out with you.”

               “Huh?”

               “It wasn’t supposed to be thisway, with you on your own, being raised by myself and Fiddleford,” Ford said,hoping the vague nature of his statement would allow Stan to fill in his owndetails.

               “Are ya talkin’ about the restof my clutch?” Stan said quietly.  “Andyour old mate, the one who laid me?”

               “…Yes.  Sometimes, I just have issues coping with thedisconnect between what I had planned, and what actually happened,” Ford saidcarefully.  “And that can make me comeoff a bit strange, but I assure you, Stanley, I love you as dearly as ispossible.”

               “…Okay, Dad.  I’ll take it.”  Stan shuffled around in Ford’s lap.  “Now, tell me another story.”

               “What’s the magic word?” Fordasked teasingly, carefully untangling a snarl in Stan’s wild curls.  Stan sighed.

               “Please tell me another story.”

               “Of course.  What story do you want?”

               “One of those human ones ya knowfor some reason.  With- with valiant princes,who rescue pretty princesses!”  Stangrinned broadly.  “I bet I could be one of those princes.  If I was human.”

               “Of course you could,” Ford saidsoftly, recalling the very un-princely behavior of Stan when he was human.  “How about…a twist on the classic story.  You don’t mind if there aren’t anyprincesses, do you?”

               “As long as it’s got a princewho saves the day, I’m good.”

               “Excellent.”  Ford paused for a moment to think.  “Our story takes place by the sea, in theGlass Shard Kingdom.”

               “That’s a funny name.”

               “Yes, it is.  There were two brothers who were the princesof the kingdom.  Twins.  Cedar was the more intellectual one, whileFir tended to seek out physical solutions.” Ford looked at Stan meaningfully. “Remember, that’s not what you’re supposed to do when you have aproblem.  You don’t fight first and ask questionslater.”

               “I know,” Stan said.

               “Good.  Well, Prince Cedar, in his search forknowledge, had a tendency to forego caution, and get into trouble.  Once such time was the day he went to thesea, to seek out a marine dragon he’d heard of. This dragon, named Billious, could offer the answers to all the universe’squestions.  But for a price.  Prince Cedar, desperate to prove himself morethan just one of the heirs to the throne, took the deal without thinking,binding himself in servitude to Billious. Upon hearing of his twin’s plight, Prince Fir set off on his own,searching for a way to break Prince Cedar’s deal.”

               “Did he mess up, since he solvedproblems with his fists?” Stan asked idly. Ford’s heart stopped.

               I nevermentioned anything about fists.  Howwould he know?  Unless…  No, Stanford, that’s ridiculous, solvingproblems with your fists is a common saying.

               “Dad?”

               “Hmm?  Oh, no. Prince Fir also had a silver tongue, able to talk his way out of andinto things.  Using this ability, PrinceFir was able to persuade a fairy to help him. The fairy would be able to magically break Billious and Prince Cedar’sdeal.  But there were twoconditions.  The first was that Billiouswould need to be physically weakened first. The second was that Prince Fir would have to pay a price, to be takenafter Prince Cedar was freed.  Prince Firleapt at the opportunity.”

               “Why?”

               “What?”

               “Why would he take a deal, sincea deal got him in this mess in the first place?” Stan asked.  Ford sighed.

               “Prince Fir would do anythingfor his brother.”

               “Sounds like a good guy,” Stanremarked, snuggling closer to Ford.

               “Yes.  He- he was.” Ford took a moment to compose himself. “Anyways, Prince Fir and the fairy found Billious’s cave, where PrinceCedar was being worked to the bone as the dragon’s servant.  To Prince Fir’s eye, it seemed like Billiouswas even more powerful than before.  Thiswas true; as Prince Cedar got weaker, Billious got stronger.”

               “But Prince Fir was evenstronger than the dragon, right?”

               “Of course he was.  It took a mere fifteen minutes of Prince Fir’ssword, fists, and stubbornness before Billious was weakened enough for thefairy to break the deal.  The battleover, Prince Cedar and Prince Fir fled, escaping to the forest.  There, the fairy waited for them, andcollected on Prince Fir’s deal.  Do youwant to know what it cost?”

               “What did it cost?”

               “Twenty-two years of Prince Fir’slife.”

               “So he got twenty-two yearsolder?”

               “No, the opposite.  He grew twenty-two years younger.  But there was a problem.  Prince Fir was only twenty-two years old.”

               “He- he turned into a guppy?”Stan asked, sounding confused.

               “Freshly hatched human guppiesare called babies.  And yes, a baby iswhat he turned into.  A brand-new one,less than an hour old.”

               “Oh, no!  What did Prince Cedar do?”

               “He brought his brother back tothe castle.  There, a group of healersmanaged to return Prince Fir to his proper age. But not before Prince Cedar had to change his twin brother’s diaper,burp him, and feed him,” Ford said.  Stanwrinkled his nose.

               “Humans are gross.”

               “In some regards, yes, they mostcertainly are.”

               “I’m glad I’m not a human,” Stansaid.  He yawned.  Ford continued to stroke Stan’s hair,ignoring the sudden lump in his throat. Stan curled up into a ball.  Fordpicked him up and swam to the other side of the nursery, where Stan’s guppybasket was kept.  He carefully set Standown.  Stan stretched idly before curlingup again.  Ford smiled faintly and turnedaround, intending on leaving, now that Stan was asleep for the night.  “Dad?”

               “Yes?��� Ford said, turningaround.  

               “Your stories aren’t real, arethey?  They all have happy endings, andPa says real life don’t always have one.”

               “Some parts of the stories arereal.”

               “Are the endings?”

               “Sometimes.  You’re just a guppy, Stanley.  You don’t need to hear the bad endings quiteyet.”

               “Mmkay,” Stan mumbled, his eyesnow closed.  Ford stroked Stan’s hair onelast time.

               “And even when you get older,you might find you prefer the good endings. After all, even if it’s not how it actually happened, it’s nice topretend.”

[meggannn]

4 , 6/7, and 19 (!!) for lyd shepard

YOU DID NOT ASK FOR AN ESSAY FOR EACH QUESTION BUT YOU GOT ONE

4 - Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

I am still debating on whether Lyd was there to witness her sister die, or whether she came back to their apartment after the turf war and saw everything destroyed and Rou’s mangled body in the rubble and realized what happened and that it was her fault, and sat quietly for several hours in the ruined house before packing up what little remained and leaving for good. even if she didn’t “see” it, the death of the only person she ever cared about, this girl who she grew up with and who trusted her with her care, was the moment she realized that if she continued down the path she was on by remaining with the Reds, she was going to end up dead or in jail before she hit 25, and it’s what drives her to make a change. She doesn’t talk about how much it changed her, but a few people know she had a sister who died. Anderson was the closest thing she had to a father figure and as a fresh recruit so soon after the trauma, I think she was still caught in that “I need someone to know but I don’t want to TALK about it” stage, and he happened to be there and squeeze it out of her. I think Garrus parses together later that she’s lost someone close, but doesn’t realize it was family/a sibling until she discusses it herself, and even that conversation is like pulling teeth. I do think Lyd might have mentioned it freely to Samara during one of her talks, though; Samara has a calming maternal presence Lyd hasn’t ever known before and she knows she won’t be judged.

Akuze was also an Experience, tho it wasn’t something she can really put to words on how it affected her behavior or mentality. That brush with death and traipsing through the desert for two days suffering heat exhaustion and dehydration was the worst part of it, obviously, but during the attack, she saw her CO order several teams into strategic positions to bomb the maws, which she realized was a diversion as he attempted to escape on a shuttle as the maws killed the platoon. (One of the maws shot up from the ground and broke the shuttle in two, killing everyone onboard, and obviously she was the only one who witnessed that and survived.) later when she thinks about it, it infuriates her. I don’t think she includes it in the official report because so young and new to the Navy, she’d feel bad betraying a senior officer KIA, but she carries that into ICT training and it kind of hardens her resolve to become a good PERSON, not just become a good leader. when she realizes people are going to start looking to her with the same trust one day, she puts an immense amount of pressure on herself not to be the person who’d leave behind a cremate because it was tactically reasonable. As for if anybody knows that, no. She doesn’t talk about Akuze much, for obvious reasons.

6/7 - Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams/nightmares?

She doesn’t dream much. (She definitely doesn’t dream about that little shit running through the woods in ME3! If she ever did, though, I think she’d dream it was her sister.)

When she does have nightmares I think they are of those two days she spent wandering the desert on Akuze, trying to make it back to the LZ but knowing she’s far more likely to die there, and no one will ever know or care about her again, wondering if anyone would ever find her body, talking to hallucinations that visit in the heat. By ME3, she’s got a repressed fear of asphyxiation (coming from suffocating in space/drowning when talking to the Leviathan) so that might also feature as a theme, but not the main core of dreams themselves. I have this idea that a particular nightmare she has in 3 that haunts her might be one in which the Leviathan refused to let her go and she was trapped in Despoina’s ocean for the rest of time, watching the Reapers destroy everything and the rest of the universe carry on, until eventually someone forgets that she’s down there at all.

19 - What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

so I think some of my characterizations reflect what’s usually there in canon, just exaggerated tenfold lol. Shepard’s got this huge urge to fix every problem and be everybody’s therapist and 2AM call, but the instant someone turns that lens around to try to help her with her own problems, she shuts down, because why aren’t they minding their damn business? So there’s a bit of a hypocrisy thing (and I feel like I really didn’t portray this at all in my fic, where Shepard lays everything at Garrus’s feet because She’s Sad, so I’m doing my best to make this emotional repression integral to the emotional plot of my next fic). but I also feel like it’s because she sees herself as a caretaker to almost everyone she considers a friend - she’s the caretaker, she’s the top of the pyramid of responsibility, if someone sees she needs looking after, she subconsciously takes it as a question of her capability/status. The only exceptions are people like Anderson (and to a lesser extent, Hackett), because she knew them as superiors first and is more likely to rationalize comfort from them as her officers comforting their subordinate.

When I say caretaker btw I don’t mean that like, she’s gonna make sure everyone on the ship eats and brushes their teeth and packs them lunch every morning. But she lowkey sees their emotional trauma as her duty too, and she tells herself it’s because (in ME2) she’s trying to recruit them to her side in case TIM decides to betray her, because she needs them ready for the upcoming war, because she needs them at their peak performance to do their jobs, etc (all of those things are true, Shepard, but also you’re just lonely). So also I think the nature of her urge to fix-it, while it comes from a good place, is also a bit presumptuous: she’s not gonna be your mom and if you’re on her ship, she’s gonna treat you like an adult, but she does consider everyone her responsibility beyond the line of formality. she doesn’t want a repeat of her sister and Akuze and Alchera, and she expects her team to bring up personal issues to her if they’ll be problems. It only occasionally crosses her mind that some people might not be entirely comfortable with telling a stranger their life story, and she NEVER thinks about how if she were faced with a similar situation, she’d rather die than let a CO knew that SHE has an emotional weakness lol.

SO ANYWAY. Has this ever damaged her relationship? The argument with Joker in ME3 is a prime example, though I think Shepard calmed down and apologized before it did any real damage. Since developing this tick the people she’s been closest to have been Anderson and the crews of the Normandy. Of those people, I think Anderson, Garrus, Liara, and Chakwas would go out of their way to specifically check in on her wellbeing. I went into this above, but concern from Anderson and Chakwas she rationalizes as genuine but also professional care; Anderson is her mentor and Chakwas is her physician. Liara she knows means well, but chafes when she pries too far in ME1. (She’s not offended, she knows Liara is just curious, but her past is a locked door that she will not be opening unless she can help it.) Garrus is a former cop, and before he was a detective I think he might’ve been a first responder to hostage situations or been on calls on domestic violence, etc. I think he recognizes trauma when he sees it, and years of knowing Shepard (and following her example) have taught him to recognize when someone wouldn’t be receptive to traditional consoling. Soooo I think he would know not to try the usual approach he would with victims, what he does is be himself and give her company and remind her to sleep and make sure none of his friendly suggestions come off too cloyingly, and if she wants to talk about it, then she’ll talk about it. (NGL this is also wrapped up in my complicated ideas of how Garrus treats Shepard: despite what he says he’s still got a turian urge to defer to her authority and not overstep his boundaries, but he’s struggling to reconcile that with his new status as a partner, and also HE’S got a bit of a fix-it complex himself that he turns right back on her, so.)

(Kaidan is also a person who subtly offers Shepard a shoulder to lean on in ME1, and she doesn’t really pick up on the hints. It’s possible he may have succeeded in getting her to open up in ME3, tho he died on Virmire in my playthrough. I’m sorry, Kaidan.)

character development meme

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: Nothing Compares 2 U

@makapedia​ joined the AMA party to talk with us about her 2016 Resbang, Nothing Compares 2 U! Here’s some of what went down!!

Q: You wrote a good chunk of your fic set in the nineties. Was there anything that was especially hard about that?

makapedia: Writing the fic in the 90s was hard, if just because I was six when the 90s ended, so I did not remember as much as I thought I would, so I had to research a little history.

Q: What inspired you to think of this premise/AU?

makapedia: I thiiink I was talking to Madi? And spitballing ideas, as I do, at her, and it just spiralled from there. She enabled me hard.

Q: I did love your 90s references though. You mentioned some stuff and I would have flashbacks. It was all good.

makapedia: I didn't even get to write the scene I had originally envisioned for the AU, that's so weird. I wanted more Tamagotchi scenes. I wanted Maka to leave her precious child Tamagotchi in Soul's hands and he was going to take his job as caretaker Very Seriously while she was homeworking.

Q: [This] fic was an emotional ride and so empathetically written and incredibly nuanced. What was the most emotional thing for you to write? What would you do to cheer yourself up after a difficult scene?

makapedia: The most emotional thing for me to write was definitely, um, towards the end of the first portion of the fic? I gave Soul and Maka both parts of myself in this fic, and Soul really got the raw, late teens anxiety and fear of the world and his future, and it was both easy? and hard? for me to write, especially since it was through Maka's eyes, and I could not come out and say "hey, he is depressed and unmedicated and on a downward spiral" because she just didn't understand it. I would listen to Spice Girls to cheer myself up, though.

Q: Your approach to sexuality and to mental illness is amazing and hit me in the feels. Pls discuss any extra commentary youve ever wanted to discuss on these elements of your writing.

makapedia: I don't think I even went into this thinking it was going to have such commentary on sexuality? Uh, and especially the drama/throne we put sexuality on as a culture. I think the fic really evolved that way? And I think definitely even adding as much asexual commentary in it was extra. The mental illness thing was definitely planned and I wanted to make a point of showing someone who does struggle with depression/anxiety/other taking his life into his hands and getting help and still being able, as an adult, to have relations and be happy, and be a good partner. I wish I could have shown more of that at the end, but it is what it is.

Q: What is your personal favorite scene to write, or just based on how it turned out, or whatever!

makapedia: My favorite scene to write?? Maybe was towards the end, I had a lot of fun writing spiteful angry Maka kicking in the men's bathroom door and scaring the shit out of Soul. But based on how the scene turned out, i think the smut smut scene was my favorite. It was a Long fic, longer than I anticipated or planned it being, so a lot of it just melts together in my head now.

Q: Smut scenes, how do those go?

makapedia: LOL. Are you asking me how to write smut?

Q: Yes.

makapedia: I love you so much. I am Disgustingly Demisexual and super vanilla about things, and a lot of my smut focuses more on the feeling and gross headspace than the physical part? It's easier for me that way. I am a tiny ace virgin I am terrible with smut, I have people Fooled.

Q: Pls elaborate on your Very Important Decision to give Soul Batman sheets.

makapedia: Every cool guy I have in my life really aggressively loves Batman. That was it. He seemed appropriately Edgy (or False Edgy, w/e) for Soul.

Q: I really loved your characterization of the parents in this story - both Soul's and Maka's. Did you find one set of parents easier to write and if so, why??

makapedia: Oh man. I mean, they were there but also weren't, yeah? Only Soul's dad and Maka's mom made the cut, and Maka's mom is always a mixed bag for me because we do know very little about her in canon, whereas Soul's parents are always an empty canvas, for the most part. All I know about Maka's mom is she dumped Spirit for cheating and she is "like a bear" according to Maka loool so I guess I just kind of made her a very opinionated force of nature, sort of looming over and leading Maka's future, but she's hard for me to write. I could do whatever with Soul's dad and no one could tell me I was wrong. Too much power for one girl.

Q: Was there a specific 90s artifact you wanted to include that didn't make the cut?

makapedia: Black*Star in JNCO jeans.

Q: Where did the inspiration for the Liz jealousy side plot come from? Because that KILLED me lmao.

makapedia: The Liz thing was planned but also not to the degree it ended up happening? Mostly I wanted to write about Maka's insecurity, and work through her misogyny and jealousy issues and I thought it'd be interesting to have it be a close friend, I guess? But then it evolved into Soul questioning his identity in the background and coming to terms with like, realizing he was ace? Also I wanted Maka to be weird and uncomfortable and maybe even a little jealous later, when Liz had invited him to her wedding, but some of that got lost in translation.

Q: The entire leadup to and all of the Halloween party was a gift, where did the inspiration from that come from? (Soul alone with weiner dogs, bless.)

makapedia: I really, really wanted to write Maka as baby spice and it just snowballed from there. SHE WANTED TO BE SPORTY SPICE SO BADLY. Soul is me. Hides in the back room at a party and chills with tiny dogs.

Q: Why the 90s?

makapedia: I think it was because of my own nostalgia? And also feeling like I missed out on all of the turn of the century weirdness, because I WAS so young when the 90s ended and the 2000s began. It was like a time period AU but not drastic enough for me to have to really change everything and research language and clothing and trends and culture. It was recent enough but also like... long enough ago for other people my age or a little older to be like oh, man, remember the 90s, why did we all part our hair like that? The fic really did start out very silly in my heart but then everything got dark and sad.

Q: I was gonna ask, where did this idea come from? Did something really spur it on, other than your 90s nostalgia? Was the time gap thing always there? Cause the way you entered in the future and had a good portion of the story in the past was excellent and gripped my attention.

makapedia: So, originally when I was blarging to Madi about a 90s au I think I realized it couldn't just be memes, it needed a plot? And I'd always really wanted to write like a post breakup fic where the ship Gets Back Together at a wedding and then bam kablam. The "outline" for the fic is just bare bones for the fic and then some jokes I wanted to get in. Originally I'd wanted the chapters to go back and forth, 98 to 08 and such, but I ended up settling with a big 98 portion so it felt more cohesive. Pluuus I kind of like how it sets you up to hurt and then you wade through the beginning cute with just, this sense of oh god, no, what goes wrong?

Q: I loved the character dynamics between everybody everything felt very fitting like 'yep that is so how they would be.'

makapedia: ;__; I'm so glad. Bro*Star's frosted tips.

Q: I wanted to kill him when he did the freaking card trade thing.

makapedia: LOL that boy has no tact. That cloyster joke was in the outline.

Q: Did you have any characters that you sat there going 'okay what to do with you' or were all the characters falling into place nicely from your perspective? Was Black*Star's gutter mind easy to fall into or not? XD

makapedia: hhhaaaAAA, Death the Kid was mysteriously Not There in the 90s. SORRY, KIDDO. Black*Star is so easy and fun to write, but I think I'd write 90s skater DTK.

Q: Oh well, [Kid] got to make the best reference of the whole fic lol.

makapedia: He did, he got my favorite line. I think he spoke one line and it was my favorite. 70k for an I Write Sins Not Tragedies reference. The slow realization that that album came out in 2006 and therefore Existed was the best.

Q: On a scale of one to 10, how excited were you when you realized this?

makapedia: 10. 11. That joke got me through writing the last chapter.

Q: Was there a scene in particular that went a really different direction than what you expected?

makapedia: So I don't plot ahead like... as often as i should, hhhhhhaaa. So for a lot of the middle I just hit cruise control and went wherever it took me. But a lot of the stuff about virginity and like, terrible sex ed and worrying that it would hurt a ton and she'd bleed definitely weren't things I thought I'd write. I did not intend for the First Time (tm) scene to happen then and there but then... surprise dongle! Dicks out for the ship's swan song.

Q: What song did you listen to the most while writing this?

Q: Linger by The Cranberries, I think. A big Mood. And You Oughta Know, for appropriate Anger. Aaand Nothing Compares 2 U, of course. Tho I do wonder how many younger fandom bebs don't.... know that is a song title reference.

Q: What was your favourite part of the fic?

makapedia: I think... maybe the Halloween party, because Maka is such an unreliable narrator in this fic and she is so Clueless (haaaaaa, jokes) and it was the moment she Finally realized what Liz was trying to do. Also the moment where Soul realizes too was fun.

Q: Did you intend to write Liz as the actual soma fandom or was that accidental? (Complete with our adoration of Tsubaki.)

makapedia: LOL It was a little intentional, I guess, because she was Soul's close friend in the fic. But like, Maka misunderstanding everything just kept getting worse so it was a bit accidental. God I love Tsubaki. Liz has good taste. I don't super ship it a whole lot but I still wanted to try my hand at it. I wanted them to be happy and cute.

Q: What about your LEAST favorite scene!

makapedia: The breakup scene was hard for me to write and I'm still not happy with how it came out. It still feels forced in my heart, but I had to move on.

Q: WHAT'S NEXT?

makapedia: Iiiiii already have an idea of what I'm gonna do for Resbang next year so I cannot share that, buuuut I think I'm going to continue writing Not Lovers, weird mermaid AU I started recently? and probably more AUs. This is the year I write Too Many SoMa AUs, mark my words.

Q: Okay so Soul and Liz doing the do sort of killed my heart. Was that always planned?

makapedia: Hhhhaaaa that was planned ahead of time, I guess? I wanted Maka's jealousy to have some sort of basis. This tiny demi thing who can't wrap her head around sleeping with someone like that.

Q: It broke my heart but I found it so... realistic? Like I totally know people who've experienced that, and lots of people don't have their first time with their soulmate or true love or whatev so like it HURT but also... so, so true.

makapedia: Exactly, that was what I was going for. <3 Aaaand pushing my ace agenda, lol.

Q: Correct me if I read the thing wrong, but crona got adopted by Sid and Nygus??

makapedia: Iiiii do not remember. LOL, HECK. PLEASE.... HOLD.... /FRANTICALLY GOOGLES OWN FIC. YES. OKAY. Good I was like, I think I wrote that??? But then I haven't read that part in so long. I feel like people so often just throw Stein and Marie into the role of Crona's parents and I think I wanted to mix it up.

Q: I just... Crona living with Black☆Star had me in tears.

makapedia: Also that, exactly. You can bet your butt that weenie was probably Crona's dog, but Black*Star is the one who dressed it in a costume. I also had fun writing Soul and Crona bonding over Pokemon. Nerd shit. Soul, excitedly: did you hear they're making a video game? Maka is not as well versed in Pokemon as these nerds. Soul's probably laying there in that room with the weenie playing Tetris.

Q: That visual is gold.

makapedia: I also wanted to write Black*Star taking out Soul's ankles with a Skip-It. But alas.

---

Thanks again to makapedia for stoppin’ in!! More transcripts to come, stay tuned ~