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#I’m high rn so you would think I’d be able to ignore it
yuumaofc · 1 year
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//EP. 5; Did I do something wrong..?
Damn it’s been a whole ass month since I last updated this series🧍🏻 IM BEING FR RN GUYS I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LACK OF UPDATES😭😭 I low key be forgetting that I’m a writer on here💀
UM SO ANYWAYS HAVE THIS UPDATE AS AN APOLOGY FOR MY MONTH LONG DISAPPEARANCE🤡
TW//
MC’s POV
It’s strange.. I don’t know how I should be feeling as of right now. The brothers have been avoiding me for at least a week now. Have I done something offensive to them? I don’t recall a moment where I could have possibly done so.. And if that were to be the case, they would speak to me face to face about it. I know them, I’ve lived with them for 2 years now!.. Maybe I just don’t know them well enough as they’re probably older than Saturns rings.
Have I wronged them? Why are they avoiding me? Why won’t they talk to me? I want to speak to hear mammon talk about ways to scam other demons, as bad as it may be. I want to hear Asmo tell me about how his photo shoot and after school spa day went. I want to listen to Levi rant about how invested he is in a new anime he’s discovered. I want to be able to have small talk with Lucifer over tea after working all day. I want to have passive aggressive banter with Satan. I want to listen to Beel give me his newest addition to his workout routine. I want to stay by Belphie’s side while he sleeps and comfort him when he has nightmares.
I want to listen to them. I want to hear them. I NEED to be with them!
I don’t think I’ll be able to live without them. I’ve become so attached to them that they’re the first thing I think of when I wake up in the mornings.
I bit my fingers and peeled tiny bits of the skin around my fingernail off. A very bad habit of mine that I thought I got rid of back in junior high school. I guess I was wrong.
My breathing became uneven as the self deprecating thoughts flooded my head and forced my composure to come loose.
MC- ‘Maybe I’m just overreacting.. Maybe they’ve just been having a bad day! Yeah that could be it. No no no you’re wrong, it’s been a whole week and they still aren’t talking to you! Something’s wrong. You’ve done something wrong. I did a bad thing!-‘
Felix- “MC? A-are you okay? I was just passing by your room and heard muttering.. I thought it was nothing till I noticed the sound of fast paced footsteps in here so I thought that I’d check up on you. I guess that was a good decision? I-I mean it- It’s not really my place to invade your privacy a-AND in no way is invading your privacy a good thing to do! I- um I was just checking up on you because.. y-your footsteps made you sound.. distressed??? I-IM SORRY FOR BARGING IN HERE AND THEN JUST RANTING NVM I-I’LL GO!-“
MC- “No!”
I lunged out at him and grabbed his wrist before he could rush out of my room. He jolted and yelped at the sudden feeling of being pulled back into my chest. I never really noticed how small he was compared to me but I don’t noticed a lot of things till I deem it whatever.
MC- “No.. Don’t go. It’s fine that you came in here.. Do you mind staying with me for a bit? I need someone to confide my feelings in and with the brothers ignoring me, I don’t think I’ll be able to confide in any of them any time soon.”
Felix- “O-oh! Okay”
As soon as he agreed to listen to me, I pulled him over to my bed and sat him down with me so that I can speak with him comfortably. It wouldn’t be very comfortable to have more than an hour long conversation with someone while standing if you have somewhere to sit.
As I rambled on and on, Felix sat across from me. Listening attentively and making small but meaningful comments every now and then. I know I shouldn’t have opened up to him so easily but I needed someone to confide in and the brothers were avoiding me so I couldn’t help it. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Felix’s POV
MC fell asleep not too long ago, having cried themself to sleep after contemplating if the brothers wanted to keep them around anymore. They’re not be aware of it but it pains me to see MC so hurt. But to see MC so vulnerable but relaxed and snoring softly puts me at ease. It keeps the raging concern and worries to calm down.
“My my!~ I didn’t know you were one for watching the people you like sleep! How perverted of you, Felix~”
I flinched and looked over my shoulder to see Kain standing there with a smug yet teasing smirk displayed across his handsome face. Kain was an incubi but his drive was much more mellow than other incubi and succubi. More for seeking out the flustered faces and fluttering butterflies in your stomach.
Felix- “Kain.. Are you the reason why the brothers are avoiding MC..?”
Kain- “HmHm! You could say that~”
I hardened my stare towards him.
Felix- “How could you do such a thing?! They mean so much to MC! I may have feelings for them but that doesn’t mean you can just go and ruin their life!”
Kain- “Oh but it was that very reason that your beloved confided in you isn’t it?~”
I stiffened at his comment. He wasn’t wrong at the very least. Whatever Kain did truly did lead to MC confiding in me, causing us to grow a little closer than before. But it was cruel!
Kain- “Oh? Cat got your tongue? Hmhmhm! Silly little human boy, it seems as even though you’ve forgotten about our little deal we had!”
I gulped. Of course I remember the deal. We made it when I awoke in the nurses office two weeks ago. We made a deal to share my body whenever he pleases, just as long as he doesn’t do anything to cause MC to dislike me in anyway. When he takes control, I’m not aware of what he’s doing. It’s like I fall unconscious until he gets bored of me or something..
Felix- “N-no, I remember.. wh-what did you do..?!”
Kain smiled menacingly and covered mouth with his hand before laughing at my pitiful expression.
Kain- “Let’s just say that its for me to know, and you to find out!~”
I widened my eyes at his comment, he did something bad. Something horrible and now MC has to pay the price.
MC, my one and only, did I do something wrong..?
HEEYYYYY AND WE’RE DONE WITH THE FIFTH CHAPTERRRRR YAAYYY FINALLY SOMETHING AFTER A MONTH AND A HALF OF STRESSING OVER THIS CHAPTER AND SCHOOL IVE FINALLY GOT SOMETHING OUT ARE YOU PROUD OF ME I KNOW ITS SHORT BUT ITS THE BEST IVE GOT FOR NOW *sob*
Anyways, Happy thanksgivings giving to those who live in the US! Be grateful for this chapter👹
/j you dont have to be since I think it’s a little underwhelming AND I BET YOU DIDNT SEE THE TITLE BEING IN FELIXS WORDS DIDJA >:D
TAGLIST:
@aki-maki-aki @books-and-catears @justrika @gallantys @time-shardz @m1ss-c4mrader1e @0-candlecove-0(I can’t tag you??? I could last time so idk what’s goin on unless you changed something) @avanae @slugbugg @tsunotaro-san @pichulakkjkk @bonezzzzzz @sumiiichan @valeriele3
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valyrou · 2 years
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hiyaaaaa, who are your top 3 fav star wars characters? and/or your top 3 Final Fantasy 7 characters? who’s your favorite slasher? I’m a big fan of Ghostface! oh and I also loooove your “Star Wars Characters Love Language”, what you wrote for Anakin is especially my favorite. I’d just love to be held by him OTL
(also, I noticed that your askbox doesn’t have the ability to turn on Anon for those who are more shy, if you want to find the setting for that it’s in “Edit Appearance” in your blog’s settings. unfortunately it can only be found on desktop/web browser. if Anonymous is intentionally off (bc haters or something) then ignore this and sorry if i overstepped my boundary! ^^’)
Hi!! Thank you soo much for asking and pointing out that requesting as anon was turned off! I rushed to my Pc the minute I read it and fixed it. You can now ask questions anonymously. Again thank you so much for pointing this out, I probably would have never noticed that. AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ENJOYING MY LOVE LANGUAGE POST! I really appreciate it :) I honestly thought I was a horrible writer haha again, thank you so much!! Have a lovely day and I hope you enjoy what I wrote for you! If you have anything else you‘d like to share with me, you can happily hop in my Request/question inbox and request again! Maybe even as Anon this time ;)
(Requests are open)
Top 3 Fandom characters
A/n: Okay sorry to interrupt again, but this is literally perfect to write rn because I am on a car ride right now (so many Right now’s) and I really need to do something.. OKAY THATS ALL THANK YOU
Star Wars
Okay this one is VERY hard… I really had to think about this for a looong time.. I will explain myself as to why I chose each character :)
1.Din Djarin
OKAY HEAR ME OUT!! I‘m a sucker for Pedro Pascal, but I just love Mandos character in itself! He doesn’t let anyone get close to him but at the same time he builds trust quite fast. Most of the time. He knows who he can trust and is always on guard.
He is daddy. No like literally he has an adoptive, green baby on his side at all times. If you can gain his trust, he can be quite friendly and caring. I cannot tell you how many feelings explode inside of me when he says „Go! I‘ll cover you!“ LIKE AHHHH
2. Anakin Skywalker
Do I need to explain? He is so much like me!! Especially the high ego and the stubbornness..DO NOT COME AT ME LIKE „Oh so you think you can change him?“ HELL. NO. I would not be able to change a single thing about him, especially when palpatine lures him to the dark side. I would try to get him back of course but he was so gaslighted he would not change his mind.
Still he is handsome and has a great personality, even if he‘s a Jedi he still keeps his personality. He just shits on Jedi rules (relationship with padme) I don’t know why I like him so much, it’s just something I know for a fact. Legit grew up like that.
OKAY HOLD UP!! This was between Ahsoka and Obi wan.. and I‘m sorry to say this but..
3. Ahsoka Tano
I‘M SORRY BUT I CAN‘T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I FANGIRLED FOR AHSOKA IN MANDALORIAN SO I JUST HAVE TO GO WITH HER.
I see obi wan more as a father figure.. he is just papa :0
Ahsoka my love is a girl boss, fleeing from troopers that try to catch her for something she didn’t do and then realizing that being a Jedi is just meh and retreating from her status of being a Jedi? Just a girl boss. You have to love her for that
AND HELLO?!!? SHE LOOKS MAD GORGEOUS WHEN SHE FIGHTS HAVE YOU SEEN THE MANDOLORIAN LIKE WWWOOOOOWWWW
she is just gorgeous and has a beautiful personality. I would befriend her asap if I see her. No hesitation.
Final Fantasy
This one is pretty easy ngl. No hesitation while choosing at all.
1. Sephiroth
Gorgeous hair, gorgeous face and a habit of killing people. What can I say. My dream men. At first I hated him but then I read like one fanfic on accident and I saw him in a completely different light. Suddenly when I played the game myself I would scream in my pillow like a mad women.
I‘m sorry but he is just my number one. Mwuah Chefs Kiss
2. Cloud strife
He has so much sass it’s adorable. That oke scene where he was all dressed up? I questioned my speciality all over again. He literally slayed in that dress. I wish I looked like that on prom :,(
He is so cute and he is the only one that I would big spoon… like- ever. He is the only one that gets that privilege.
3. Tifa
Another girl boss. I‘m not a pervert and chose her because of her body I‘m head over heals for her kind and caring personality. She is just sooo sweet!! And suddenly I can bark very well..
Tifa just had to be here. I feel like she would be the best girlfriend ever. I MEAN- caring, kind, brave?!?? She has sooo much to offer
Slasher boys
Okay hard choice again… but I feel like Michael doesn’t really have much personality and he doesn’t talk.. what am I going to do??? So I chose as my favorite slasher…
GHOSTFACE!
Not the dbd ghostface!! I mean ghostface from the first movie. Scream 1996!! Stu and Billy are just something. I mean if they actually like you and stuff one of the two might talk to you as ghostface and leave you alive ?
Not many slasher boys talk and Ghostace has the most personality.. I can just imagine maybe trying to talk to him..? I‘m a lot like Stu on my good days.. soo I figure that he and I would go well together.. as for Billy? It would be hard. Way harder then trying to befriend Stu.
You have to like ghostface!
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shorkbrian · 3 years
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i’m sorry but i luv your writing/thot process so i have to share this: imagine superstar trainer kiri marrying ur mom. he’s only a few years older (and you had a crush on him first) so you avoid him bc you’re shy/uncomfortable with it. your plans are foiled when mom’s away and y’all are stuck at home during a snow storm, power out, no heat/gas, and no matter how many layers u use nothing beats body heat. kiri is so sweet and just wants to get close and keep you warm/see whats under ur sweats
I’m literally melting rn 
Like imagine Kiri shuffling closer to you on the couch, scooting underneath the blankets you have piled around your body.
He keeps getting closer and closer and closer until he’s pressed up against you, and he feels like a heater, warm and cozy and comfortable. You don’t mind burrowing down into his side a bit, only blushing a little when the big man chuckles at your behavior.
There’s a movie playing on the TV, but you’re kind of sleepy, and your stepdad feels so sturdy and safe against your side, and you’re finally warming to a comfortable temperature, and before you know it, you’re fast asleep.
When you wake up, you’re laying down on a solid surface, heat wrapped around your body and trapped beneath the blankets. The surface rumbles and shifts, and only then do you realize that Kirishima must have moved you.
The room is dark, TV off, lights out. The wind is still howling and moaning outside like a mourner at a grave, beating against the windows and crying to the sky.
Lifting your head means you get a view of Kiri’s face, of his handsome, relaxed self as he gazes down at you, a pleased, soft smile on his features.
You go to apologize for falling asleep on him and for inconveniencing him, but Kirishima doesn’t let you. “It’s warmer this way, plus, I like holding something while I sleep.”
He has his arms wrapped around you, thick biceps pressing heavy against your shoulders, keeping you flush to his muscular chest. You blush a little at the position, shifting your legs and trying not to do anything weird.
But in moving your legs around, you find yourself straddling his thigh, the stocky limb flexing underneath your weight, Kirishima twitching.
“Sorry-” You blush again, intending on moving, but your stepdad drops a hand to your hip, steadying you.
“No, don’t apologize, I get it.” He winks at you, before jiggling his thigh a bit, settling you down further onto it. “I remember doing stuff like this back in high school, I know it feels good.”
A long moment of silence stretched between you two as you processed his words, feeling increasingly awkward.
“Um, okay...” Was all you could come up with.
Kirishima laughed a bit. “You’ve never cuddled with anyone before? It’s nice, isn’t it? ‘Specially with the heat out like this. Power went out while you were sleeping.”
You felt a little silly now, ducking your head and dropping your gaze. That would explain why the lights were off. You had just assumed the movie had finished playing and your stepdad had turned it off, but apparently that wasn’t the case. 
“Temp’s gonna drop fast, we’re probably going to have to use good ‘ole body heat while we sleep. You wanna move to the bed? Or just sleep here?”
A shrug, and Kirishima smiled. “Okie-doke, bed it is. Thank goodness, my back would kill me if I tried to sleep on the couch. Gettin’ old s’no fun.”
The man sat up, and you quickly disentangled yourself from him, ignoring the way his thigh rubbed in between your legs as he moved about. As soon as you felt the chill of the room, you shivered, clacking your teeth together and snatching the blanket tight around yourself.
“Oh, that’s so cold, fuck.”
“Hey, watch your language-” Kirishima chided, rising to his feet as he gathered the rest of the blankets up into his arms. “No potty mouths in this house, yeah? Keep it clean.”
He’d been married to your mom for almost a year now, and Kirishima had easily fallen into the “father figure” role, despite the fact that it wasn’t necessarily needed.
But you indulged him by laughing at his corny dad jokes, complimenting the various meats he grilled for meals, keeping your judgements about his questionable fashion choices to yourself instead of blurting them out to his face.
Kirishima led the way to the master bedroom, the room he shared with your mom, stating that the bed was bigger, it’d be more comfortable. Did you really expect him to fit into your bed?
He was a big man, strong and solid. He was able to throw you over one shoulder, your mom over the other, and run around the house whooping while the two of you laughed and pounded on his back.
“Alright-” Kirishima tossed his armful of blankets onto the bed he shared with your mom, immediately fluffing them up and pulling at the edges until he was satisfied.
The man pulled back the edge, holding it ups as he turned to you. “Head on inside!”
It was cold at first, the sheets and blankets chilly. You snuggled up to Kirishima as soon as the big man laid down, making him laugh a bit as your teeth chattered together.
“S-sorry it’s just so-so c-cold.” You explained.
“Your nose is all red, you look so cute.” His smile is warm, his hands even warmer as they begin to rub up and down your sides.
You don’t know how to respond, let yourself relax into the comforting touch, his fingertips dancing over your sweater.
“So.....” Kiri starts “You’ve never had a boyfriend then? You got so quiet when I asked if you’ve cuddled with someone before.”
A blush rose to your cheeks, and you shook your head. “No, I have. I broke up with him a little bit before you and mom started dating.”
The redhead’s quiet for a moment, then tucks his chin over your head, drawing you closer into his chest. “I’m sorry. Relationships can be hard, I know.”
“It was for the best, I think.” You continue, letting your stepdad rub your back as you talked. “We just didn’t really jive well together I guess. Wish we’d figured that out sooner though.”
The man pressed against you is so sturdy, solid and radiating heat like a furnace. It’s easy to relax in his easy-going presence.
“Well, if you ever miss cuddling, don’t hesitate to come find me, yeah? It’s one of my favorites.”
Kirishima was a touchy man, and it was obvious that his love language was touch, so it made sense. He always had his thick arms wrapped around your mom, was holding her hand, holding yours, placing kisses on your cheeks, kissing your mom every chance he got.
Sometimes he asked you to brush out his hair for him, when you weren’t busy or anything. He’d relax into jelly as you ran the hairbrush through his red locks, contented little sighs falling from his lips.
“Okay, I’ll do that.” You chuckle, thinking to yourself how the world had a funny sense of humor.
Truthfully, when you’d first been introduced to the man your mom had recently started dating, you’d developed a hopeless crush. He was attractive, kind, funny; if your mom wasn't dating him, you would’ve asked for his number.
A small part of you was irritated that the man was young enough for you to date him, your mother unbothered by the sugar stereotype she’d developed.
But ah well, what’s done is done.
“You know, I didn’t know what I'd be like having a daughter.” Kirishima soft voice breaks you out of your thoughts. “You’re almost more like.... I dunno, a friend? If that makes sense. I feel like we’re buddies.”
“Yeah, I feel like that too.” You confess, breathing into his neck, able to smell the cologne he uses, something heady and strong and manly.
A comfortable silence settles around you both, nothing but soft breaths and Kirishima’s warm hands rubbing gently over your body, against your sides, up and down your back, massaging your shoulders.
They traveled too close to your tummy, and you choked out a laugh, flinching away from Kirishima.
“Don’t, ‘m ticklish.” Came your breathless, giggly warning.
“Yeah? Yeah?” The redhead grinned, a glint in his eye, barely noticeable before he pounced, rolling over until you were smothered beneath his hefty weight, unable to move.
Horrible, terrible fingers descended, dug into your ribs and you shrieked, wide smile breaking across your features as your stepdad tickled you.
This is what happiness was made of.
Warm and fuzzy, the smell of rain, the sound of it pattering against the roof. Strong arms around you, a laugh on your lips.
Kirishima’s thigh slipped in between yours, pressed upwards, and you choked on a breath, hands immediately clutching at the man’s biceps.
“You’re so sensitive, it’s so cute.”
No time to say his name, ask any questions. He was situating you on your side, legs tangled with his, a big, beefy thigh still flush against your clothed sex.
“Mm, you ever do this with your boyfriend?” The redhead was moving, hands gripping your waist now, dragging you along his thigh, and you kept bumping up against his chest, his toned stomach.
“Yes-yeah.” Was your breathless reply, head whirling, eyes wide. This isn’t really what you were expecting, not from your stepdad.
But it wasn’t entirely unwelcome.
That’s why you weren’t screaming your head off, recoiling in disgust, scrambling for the phone to call your mom, the police.
No, you were still, pliant against Kirishima as he moved your body, his lazy red eyes fixed on your face. “Hm? Feels nice, doesn’t it? You like it?”
A shaky nod is all you can muster, feeling yourself beginning to drip against your stepdad’s thigh, slick all over your folds, the skin tingling, making your hips jump as your clit pulsed at the stimulation.
God, it felt good.
“You make me so happy, y’know? Such a pretty, smart girl.” He praised, and now you could feel it - feel the cock filling out against your tummy, hot and wet, leaking.
“I really hit the jackpot. A beautiful wife, a gorgeous daughter... I love you so, so much.” Kirishima was breathing heavier, his fingers digging into your hipbones as he dragged you back and forth against him. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Just wanna take care of you, yeah?  Make you cum lots, whatever you want.”
Almost feverish now, his hips twitching forward, pushing against your tummy again and again, rubbing his cock against your soft flesh, groaning in your ear, breath stuttering-
And then a long moan, a burst of warmth soaking through your pajama shirt, right where the tip of Kiri’s cock rested.
“Oh shit-” He gasped, sucking in air, muscles flexing as he drew back his legs, hands shakily pushing you onto your back.
“That - Jesus, you really got me goin’.” Kiri panted, beginning to kiss at your neck, one of his hands diving into your pajama pants, straight down to strum over your clit.
Already keyed up from the dry humping, veins pumping with excitement, arousal, the thrill of being touched and fondled by your-your stepdad.
A finger teased at your hole, then inched inside, and you bucked your hips, crying out a bit.
“Hey, hey-” He was still a little breathless, a little lightheaded from his orgasm, but the man was determined. 
“It’s okay, it’s okay. I got you. I’m always gonna take care of my girl.”
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enhyupn · 3 years
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the perfect date! four
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masterlist | previous | next
a series in which enhypen’s 02s competitive side shines through when trying to get your attention. the only solution to end this tiring rivalry? three dates with each of them in the course of three weeks.
paring: 02s x gn!reader
word count: 2.8k
genre: fluff, angst, high school!au, someone’s gonna end up heartbroken
warnings: swearing, violence is mentioned, jealousy, arguments + there might be grammatical and spelling errors in this 😞
ask to be on taglist, updates are irregular
a/n i should really make a masterlist BUT!!! okay i’ll edit this properly soon my eyes aren’t working rn since i’m on the road also it’s taking a while to get to the actual date 😩 Bit so wait for that everyone
taglist: @dchannie17 @simluvbot @jaeyuni @neocrush @penghoons @min-arya @sunooflowerss @badroseee @cha-raena @ghjasksdk @strawr @jaypen @nanachuu @nikisboxysmile @softkons @kisshoons-main @enha-woodzies
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you had felt as if your feet were about to fall off by the time you had reached the gate of your well loved home. with heavy breaths you could see the outline of a figure standing almost a meter away from you. a scowl on your face when you saw the almost semi-permanent smirk placed on jay’s face as he stood proudly in front of your home. you let an exasperated sigh out as you lean against the cold metal gate, not able to find the energy to open it up. the lack of daylight surrounding you only really added to your draining energy. you roll your eyes before fixing your school blazer into it’s proper appearance and adjusting your school bag to fit comfortably on your shoulder. you look up once again, your eyes meeting the blonde dyed boy’s eyes. a smile placed in his eyes, something that showed you that had been waiting for you.
your mind couldn’t help but remind you that this was one of the few moments where you had really taken the time to look at jay’s face. your time in middle school didn’t really give you any opportunities due to the fact you were so shy and bashful in front of the boy that you couldn’t even properly look at him. you just so barely properly spoke to him and exchanged messages to even form some sort of connection. you never really questioned until then why he had a crush on you in middle school, a time in your life where you had thought you were going to be alone forever. as much as you wanted to question him you knew you’d accidentally expose your own past crush, something you desperately didn’t want to explain.
“are you gonna greet me or are you just gonna keep staring at my face?” he teased, letting out a hearty laugh. you shook your head, not approving of his statement. you unlock your gate as you send him another glare. the wind added to the already dramatic yet heart warming scene, loose cherry blossom petals from a nearby tree flying around you almost romantically.
“i was not” you murmured as you had gotten closer to him, the sound of the grass lightly flattening as you walked over it with care. you might of even stepped on a bug in the process, none of the surrounding light exposing itself onto the lawn meaning your vision was very little. “as if i’d willingly do that”. the boy only laughed in response as you leaned against the wall, very eerily close to him. you eyes dart to the small space in between the two of you, unexplainable heat rushing to your cheeks. the boy sends you a look with his eyebrow raised, unsure what the problem was. “anyways, what was that call even for?” you manage to shift the attention back into your words.
“hmmmm” he pretended to think, the joke only causing you to snort quietly to yourself. his head suddenly twists towards you, the previous view of your sad looking garden not doing him any justice in your conversation. from your point of view, your eyes only widened in surprise when you had realised just how close your faces were together. his nose was almost touching yours and, if you wanted to, you could of even touched foreheads together. “i don’t know”.
“what do you mean i don’t know?” you move your face back, jay not noticing the small movement from your sudden bashfulness. “who calls saying i’m at your house, come home quickly before i break in without a reason?” you continue, hands flying around you as you try and theatrically explain his excuse.
“maybe i do?” jay laughed in between his words. you roll your eyes at his playfulness, a small smile forming on your lips when you looked down at your feet. as much as you wanted an explanation, hearing jay finally for the first time in years joke around with you simply just felt better.
“veeerry funny jay” you spoke breathily, leaning further against the wall of your home. you knew your parents were waiting for your arrival, probably sitting in their room asking themselves when you’ll eat your dinner. however, you weren’t entirely really sure if they knew about jay’s sudden visit outside your door. with a quick sigh out you turn to him once again, the boy only mirroring your action with a grin spread across his face. “how did you know where i live? or remembered my number?”.
“jake, for both of your answers” you seem raise an eyebrow at the mention of your best friend’s name, suspicious on what had happened between the two of them.
“you two are buddy-buddy now?” you tease, your fingers wiggling in front of his face playfully as you let a squeaky laugh out. jay lightly swatted your hands away, a low chuckle escaping him mouth as he turned away from you to look at the bland scenery in front of him.
“not exactly, we just both relate to things i guess” he replied quietly, the sound of crickets chirping and wind slightly breezing through following the sound of his voice. your lips morph into a small smile when you had listened to his words.
“that’s nice to hear” you sigh out blissfully, your head nodded in agreement while turning to the front of you too to look at the same scenery his eyes were trained on. “no more fighting then, i suppose?”.
“can’t promise that one” jay awkwardly let out, his head replaying the memory of earlier that evening. he bit his lip in guilt, feeling yet again apologetic about the whole situation. “hey i’m sorry—”
“—it’s fine” you interrupt him abruptly. you had already predicted what he was about to say, knowing jay’s personality you knew he would feel incredibly guilty about it. you knew it wasn’t either of their faults, from every way you’ve looked at the situation you understood that the two of weren’t the best with handling any sort of feelings they felt. “you two were just emotional, plus i wasn’t giving you enough attention today too”.
“give me attention?” he laughed, a growing blush scattering across his face. his brain almost blew up at your slightly affectionate comment. “why would you say it like that?”.
“oh shut up” you nudge him lightly, biting your lip in slight embarrassment when you had realised what you had said. “you know what i mean! i haven’t seen you in forever and of course you would wanna catch up with me”. you glance at him while your feet tapped slightly, “right?”.
“how cocky of you to think i missed you” jay jokingly rolled his eyes. you could tell from his playful tone that he was just teasing you, although it didn’t stop you from lightly elbowing him in the side.
it felt nice, talking so freely with the boy you’ve probably spent a good chunk of your life thinking about and as well as even missing. the brain of middle school you would of never even thought this would of happened, with you thinking then that the two of you were on two completely different levels (with jay being on the significantly higher level, even during those middle school years). you wish you could of told your younger self that those times spent silently admiring your school crush wasn’t a one sided thing as much as you had thought.
“don’t go thinking i missed you either too then!” you pout. the action setting jay’s brain into haywire, you had such an affect on him but you were the only one who couldn’t realise it.
he abruptly swivels his head forward, not wanting you to catch his embarrassing slip up. your own action caused him to clear his head completely blank, not having any snarky comebacks for your reply.
“remember the jeju day trip in middle school?” jay changed the subject, it caused you to raise an eyebrow before taking a glimpse at him.
you didn’t really understand why he had brought it up, it wasn’t anything significant. you can vaguely even remember the day, the only real memory you had of that day was your aunt dressing you up for it. she had wanted you to look your best, you can’t really thank her for anything since that whole night was truly just unmemorable.
“no” you paused to rack your brain in hopes to find anything to add to his question. “why? was there something worth remembering?”, yet another pout formed on your face from his puzzling question.
“the plane ride there?” he mentioned, trying to jog your memory in hopes to find what he was trying to say. “do you seriously not remember?” he laughs unexpectedly, his voice only sending your heart beating rapidly.
“n-no” a stutter had caught up to your words. you had no idea why he was still giving you this affect. i mean you’ve gotten over him over the course of his absence, right?
“well, remember earlier today, what i told you in front of sunghoon and jake” he rambles on, completely ignoring your embarrassed state. you glance back at him, noticing he was awkwardly playing with his fingers with tinted red ears. you smile to yourself, the boy setting your cheeks on fire with small actions that you didn’t think would even affect you.
“yeah, what about it?”
“i said i had a crush on you” he continued, his words only sending butterflies to your stomach as you tried to put on a calm smile. you only nodded silently, unable to find the correct answer to reply to him with. “on the plan ride to jeju, we sat beside each other” you watched from his side his hands ran through his hair, “you were so talkative and just so bright— happy? something like that. i remember only wanting to talk to you that whole day after we got off the plane, my friends kept teasing me about it and wouldn’t stop asking why i kept glancing at you throughout our whole trip”.
“you’ve liked me since then?” you let out; quietly questioning his comment, your hands cupping your mouth in realisation at your slight mixup of words. “i mean— you started liking me then? up until whenever you’ve stopped liking me? you get what i’m trying to say—”.
“who said i stopped liking you?”
if words could kill, his would of definitely made you drop stone cold onto the ground. you open your mouth, and without surprise nothing came out due to your speechless state of mind. did he really just— was he being serious? that’s all you could think as you blankly stared at his face, eyes slightly widening as a small smirk laced through his lips. you would of comically checked your pulse in front of him as a way to ease this tension but you were too star struck to even move an inch. what was going on?
“h-huh?” only a noise came out of your mouth, desperately yelling at yourself to just even let out a single word. jay only seemed to find humour in this situation, chuckling at your frozen state as he straightened his back. with a step forward he looked back at you, his face being illuminated by the cheap porch light in front of your door. you could only gulp at his figure, somehow looking more like a pictorial pose than a casual pose regular people would normally do.
“you heard me” with his head whipping back to the front of him. he placed both of this hands behind his head, an audible yawn coming out of his mouth to express his drowsiness. “it’s getting late isn’t it?” he had professed quite randomly, a completely different choice of topic than your original one.
“well, yeah...” you replied, your words sounding confused. if someone had asked you what the two of you had been talking about that whole evening, you wouldn’t of been able to tell them anything.
“i should get going then” he stretched his arms gently, an action now raising your eyebrow in suspicion. with your arms crossed you watched as he took a step further away from you, his figure almost disappearing in the darkness of your garden.
“you’re just not gonna explain your last sentence?” you nervously informed the boy of his previous words. the boy only continued his walk down the small pathway in front of the two of you, a laugh being heard even with the distance.
“what do you mean explain?” he taunted, finally reaching the cold metal gate you had earlier made in contact with. the creak of the gate caused you to flinch in shock, you watched as he swiftly made his way past your gate, his feet stopping as he closed it again. staring back at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “the explanation’s right there”.
“but—”
“see you tomorrow y/n” he put a stop to your attempt, a small smile dancing happily upon his face as he took off on his journey home. “sweet dreams!” you could faintly hear him as he made his way deeper down your street.
“what— what was that about...” you spoke hesitantly. your words coming out quietly unable to really understand what had happened, something that was happening far too often that day. you understood what he said definitely, but at the same time what did he say? he said the explanation was there but as much as you wanted your brain to believe his words, you couldn’t allow yourself.
you stood there for a good few minutes, your brain trying to come up with reasonable answers; ones that weren’t pointing towards the conclusion that jay park could possibly like you. as in like—like romantically! there was no way you were going to let yourself believe in something as unbelievable as that. letting out a loud sigh you finally make up your mind to go inside your house, not having the energy to even try and make up an excuse to your parents on why you were arriving home so late.
with your hand on the door handle you felt a surprising quick vibration coming from your right pocket. you sweat instantly on the spot, your brain instantly scattering the word jay in the blank spaces in your mind. cautiously, you dipped your hand into your pocket, bracing yourself for a very awkward message from the blond boy.
park sunghoon (3-A) added you to “booth @ festival”
you sighed happily at the notification, until you had realised the previously mentioned boy was also in this group chat. your eyes drifted at sunghoon’s contact name, the formality of it almost begging you to change it into something more casual.
sunghoon: Meeting tomorrow at 7:30AM sharp, please be there on time.
jakey: sure! no promises though
jakey: the bus run’s on it’s own time sometimes
sunghoon: I can excuse that.
jay: why do you type so stiff
you couldn’t help but agree at jay’s off topic tease, sunghoon’s way of typing seemed very formal for a group chat with your classmates. a quiet giggle escaped your mouth as you walked into your house, “i’m home!” you informed your family as you raised your voice one step into your home.
sunghoon: What do you mean?
jay: ok nvm
y/n: i’ll be there!! see you three tmr 🤍
with your hand forcefully taking your shoes off, you lazily typed your reply with one hand with little to no attention on your screen. you felt your heart race rapidly when you realised, out of habit, you send a white heart to the group of boys. cursing to yourself you threw your shoes onto your shoe rack, the position of them awkwardly almost falling off the shelf they were on. you swiftly typed out a reply, trying to explain your small accident without further embarrassing yourself.
y/n: i didn’t mean the heart .
jay: sureee you didn’t
y/n: shut up
jakey: this is like the third time you’ve done that
y/n: STOP IT PLEASE FOR MY OWN SAKE
sunghoon: I think we should stop embarrassing Y/N.
y/n: thank you sunghoon
y/n: ummmm anyways goodnight!
you groaned loudly, knowing it was more than likely that jake and jay would tease you about it the following morning. you felt yourself dramatically falling on your bed, your face being engulfed by your bed sheets as you ran your hands through your head in frustration. the only thing stopping you from screaming your embarrassment out was the fact someone in the room beside you scolded you for making noise so late in the night.
“sorry!” you replied back, your face warm from your burst of energy. “can’t wait for tomorrow” you sarcastically whispered to yourself, bringing yourself to sit properly at the edge of your bed.
in the whole course of a day, nothing had gone to plan. first jay showing up? jake confessing to you? sunghoon (kind of) walking you home? all of this just on day one, you couldn’t even imagine what day two was going to be like.
“cannot wait!”
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protectchara201x · 3 years
Text
(ignoring all the other juicy Deltarune 2 stuff to shove Chara Talks into it lololol)
I haven’t been super active on this blog because frankly I have like, three? looong analysis/theorycrafting posts I’ve been putting off working on and it fills me with shame to log in and see them waiting in my drafts.
But.
With the release of Deltarune Chapter 2, I wanted to talk kinda in general about how I thought it could impact the fandom’s perception of Everybody’s Favorite Demon Baby, and also point out something in specific about the Weird Route that might connect back to Undertale.
Putting it under the cut to avoid spoilers and long-winded ramblings for the unwilling. Includes spoilers for the Weird Route.
(NOTE: may update later if I notice more things for to put in section II. I’d like to make a full list of parallels if I can tidy them up.)
I. Pre- vs Post-Release Thoughts (you can skip down to II if you don’t care, it is genuinely Long and Pointless)
Okay, so first off. I got SO worried like, the day before the new chapter dropped? It hit me that whatever new stuff we got out of this, people would connect back to Undertale, and. Honestly, I really do hate connecting everything back to Chara, because I do think of Kris as their own character and I really like them and don’t want to ignore everything they got going on. But, I am first and foremost a shameless Chara stan and they’re very important to me, so I kinda... did spend a few minutes reeling from all the new DR stuff as its own stuff, and then immediately started thinking about how this would reflect back on Chara in Undertale lol.
But that’s ok for me to do here because this is my All Chara, Only Chara, All The Time blog, so I am gonna only really talk about Deltarune here to talk about them lol.
So yeah, I started getting anxious beforehand worrying about how everyone would take any and all implications and apply it to mean “aha, Chara IS evil!” The fakeout with the pie reveal in the anniversary stream was a big relief, but I still got worried leading up to the release about what could be in it.
Because part of why I’ve always thought that “Chara was genuinely evil from the start” and even “ok maybe not TOTALLY evil, but Chara was still a kinda bad person” were unlikely was, even if you throw out all the other popular Chara-sympathetic theories. To me, both these takes just seemed too below TF’s talent and the way he wrote all his other characters with depth and love; a Chara like the one these theories propose just doesn’t belong in a world created by TF, and the way the Dreemurrs talk about them overall, the way TF made a point of having Chara say they were guided and repeatedly, correctly blame you the player for the destruction in Kill-All, I was sure that he never intended them to ever be as bad as the fandom sometimes tried to make them out to be.
... Like, mostly sure. Like, 80% sure? Because he never ever talks about them, so it’s impossible say for sure, and it is still theoretically possible that “Chara was and is bad” was the cold-ass take he’d intended all along. So yeah, leading up to the release, I started getting antsy that whatever new lore came out of it, either he’d directly confirm “Chara was a villain?” “*cocks gun* Always has been” or there’d be something that’d at least heavily implicate them, or could be twisted to implicate them, as a negative force. More ammo to be used against them in the Chara Debate Circles would be a drag, and outright confirmation of them as a villain would honestly break my heart and I’d be forced to disown Toby Fox, My Beloved Cool Dad.
And, right now? Tell the truth, I’m SO relieved and I am SO happy. And not just because of how much depth and characterization it seems Kris is getting! (imo, because rn I just headcanon them as an unhappy teen desperately trying to keep their new friends going on adventures with them and trying to fight back against the player’s control)
I love how this chapter seems to be TF doing course-correcting based on fandom interpretations. Because Kris just isn’t evil, even if they are a knife teen, even if they are the Knight, they’re just NOT evil and that’s canon, baybeeee; it’s made clear in this chapter and the previous one that they love their family even outside of the player’s control, they care about their new friends even outside of the player’s control, they’re established as a weird creepy kid but no one sees them as scary or evil, they’re just Kris, and even in the Weird Route, TF made a point of hammering in the differences between Kris and the player in the Weird Route: Susie and Ralsei notice how distressed Kris seemed after you have Noelle ice Berdly, Noelle heard a voice that she said wasn’t Kris telling her to kill, and the FUCKING Spamton fight: “Kris called for help... but nobody came” again and again, and then “You whispered Noelle’s name”... you, not Kris.
I know TF has never commented much on fans’ perceptions of Frisk and Chara, or who exactly is pulling strings in different routes. But after all this, and especially after seeing all the little winks and nods to fandom jokes in this chapter (what comes to mind: pulling everyone’s leg by seeming to have Kris attack Toriel with a knife only to reveal that pie theory was right, Susie not liking Ralsei’s real face as much as his shadowed one, Ralsei with a gun getting referenced with the ad, Kris getting a joke fixation with knives after the fans made Chara and Kris have knife obsessions as a joke), and seeing what looks like him try to correct some things (what stuck out to me was doubling down on showing that Kris is loved and valued in their family: lots of fans came away from Chapter 1 thinking that Kris was not valued as much as Asriel, but here we see that Toriel is supportive of Kris’ friendship with Susie, and it’s stated that Asriel is the one who used the crappy controller, not Kris) -
I think while he hasn’t commented directly, while he admitted to being overwhelmed by Undertale’s success, while he tends to be pretty tight-lipped about the lore (whether that’s because it’ll be addressed by future chapters or because he prefers to let fans sleuth it out), this chapter convinced me that Toby does keep tabs on fan reactions in Deltarune, so he probably does with Undertale too and would know about all The Discourse surrounding Little Mx Pink Cheeks (and in turn, popular theories like Narrator Chara... Toby if you integrate Narrator Chara into Deltarune being a borderline creepypasta and have the narrator start talking directly to the characters or to the player or the characters start talking to the narrator I will lose my damn B E A N S).
(Kris and Chara not being demonized and the narrator interacting directly with the characters were the only two things on my wishlist going in, I was fine with literally anything else happening lmao)
I even kinda think he’s going out of his way to separate Kris and the player because we didn’t get it before with Undertale, we still insisted that Frisk or Chara was the one doing it, and he’s even using Kris to show that even if this kid can be scary, maybe even mean, and maybe they’re even the Knight (with their reasons unknown), they’re still not a bad kid, they’re still funny and likable, and they still genuinely love their family and friends - which falls in line with Undertale’s cast of complex but likable people who can be antagonists and make mistakes but still aren’t truly bad people, and imo is a direct response to some people fixating on the idea that Chara was always evil because they seem scary/complicated.
... Which is a long way to say that I came out of Deltarune with my confidence fully restored about TF’s intentions with Chara and Kris. Even if he never comments on Chara directly, now I really don’t think TF thinks they’re evil or ever intended for them to be. Deltarune convinced me more than ever that Chara is meant to be complex, yes, and able to be influenced to do horrible things, but they were never intended to be as malicious or shallow as some fans insist.
TLDR:
Toby Fox read your mean fanfiction where Chara is a bad abusive serial killer no one likes, and he made Deltarune in revenge.
... Hm? Ah, you’d like me to get to the point! Right this way!
II. Undertale, Deltarune, and The Point
While no doubt some will still take the voice Noelle hears to be Chara influencing her to turn her into a murderer (I haven’t gone looking for it yet, but I’m sure it’s already a thing because I know this fandom), since it’s made too clear by the game that they can’t blame Kris for this one, I think at this point that’s just being too stubborn to consider other ideas.
If you believe in the totally made up idea used in so many fanfics that Chara is an evil spirit trying to whisper in Frisk’s ear to kill everyone, literally (for some reason) the embodiment of raising stats, and gets more control over people who have increased LV to take over their body... sure. Could be them, they did talk about moving on to the next world and all. I mean, that wouldn’t really make sense because it’s literally never implied in the actual game that Chara encourages you to kill outside of the Kill-All Run or even wants you to, certainly not as the narrator and we get no hint of them doing this as an unseen, unheard third-party either.
Not to mention they’re NOT literally possessing you because of increased LV; they don’t control you even with high LV in any Undertale route other than arguably the Kill-All, and if you fail the Kill-All and it turns into a high-body count Neutral, Chara suddenly stops using first-person narration and showing up in mirrors entirely even though they were showing themself before, the LV remains the same or even can get raised as high as LV 19, nor do they suddenly take over in any other Neutral runs. We can speculate on why (personally, I’d place this either on Chara’s mindset, such as them sinking into shock from the trauma or becoming more assertive as the player feeds their megalomania, or as a sign of Frisk’s withdrawal, leaving Chara alone in the body to take the reins and act out the player’s orders), but canonically, no, Chara does not take over due to high stats.
In fact, there’s even more evidence against this. First-person narration also exists for fleeing your battles in Undertale, even on Pacifist runs with base stats, 0 EXP, and an LV of 1. Since Chara is established to use first-person narration to refer to themself, is the only one who canonically does so, and is confirmed to be present even in all runs through their name and memories always showing up, it seems pretty likely that Chara can take control to flee battle. That means an increase in stats is not a sign of their presence or control, in Undertale or Deltarune.
The most damning blow to the idea that Chara is the voice corrupting Noelle are the lines in the fight with Spamton I mentioned. Kris called for help, but nobody came. You whispered Noelle’s name. Well hold on. If that’s Chara, shouldn’t it be “I whispered Noelle’s name”? As soon as you’ve officially started the Kill-All in Undertale, Chara starts up their “It’s me, Chara” schtick right away, right there in Toriel’s home in the first area, and if they weren’t the narrator before, they’re beginning to speak through the narration now. If the voice was Chara, surely Toby Fox knows it’d be a way bigger “oh shit” moment if the creepy scary hidden route once again switched into first-person, scaring us the same way he did before when we first saw “It’s me, Chara” and knew something was wrong; unfairly or not, their reputation as a villain is still well established and hinting to Chara’s presence with a simple “I” would drive the menace even further, if he intended for them to simply be a demon that possesses player characters when you grind enough. But it’s still just you. The player.
The Weird Route does even more to help Chara’s case than that. Not only is it made pretty clear that Kris and the player are separate, and the player is the one responsible for corrupting Noelle and making her kill... consider how similar Noelle and Chara are, in the Weird Route and the Kill-All Route.
This “voice” that “guides” them in growing strong, compelling them to kill everyone in order to fight for them, eventually driving them to murder people they know. Chara calls themself “the demon that comes when people call its name”, and you whisper Noelle’s name to have her appear to kill Spamton. Noelle’s conflicting emotions towards Kris and the voice as she is manipulated, as she becomes more violent and sadistic, as she goes into shock; does that not sound like Chara, who flipflops between holding you dear as their partner and wanting to move on to the next world together, to be together forever, and them being disgusted by your refusal to accept consequences and the perverse enjoyment you get in killing everyone again and again? Chara, who clings to their quirky narration for much of the Kill-All, but keeps slipping up, who becomes terrifyingly cold, aggressive, power-hungry, and even sadistic, yet still calls Undyne “the heroine”, still seems to still care about their locket, still has moments where they seem to falter?
Noelle does put up significantly more resistance to the voice’s commands than Chara does, and at least much more visibly shows distress and trauma. I don’t think this is a black mark on Chara’s chara-cter either, or an indication of them being more violent or cruel.
For one, while Noelle is still herself with her own soul, it is heavily implied by Chara, Flowey, and Undertale’s lore that Chara was reincarnated without their own soul, at best perhaps attached to Frisk’s (or yours): as I speculate in one of my currently unfinished theories, while monster souls are made up of love, compassion, and hope and thus Asriel was reincarnated without these qualities, it could well be that human souls are correspondingly made up of their own multiple traits, namely determination, patience, bravery, integrity, perseverance, kindness, and justice; if true, a soulless Chara would be lacking these qualities, which would make them less equipped to resist the player’s commands or to feel as torn up about it.
Also, the player has a hold on them both as “party members” to the player’s vessels, but it is also possible that the player naming Chara and having them directly attached to Frisk also gives them a stronger connection to Chara they can abuse, similar to how Kris and Frisk (as the player’s direct vessels) have much less autonomy than Kris’ party members.
(Fun observation: We know that when the thing controlling Kris forced Noelle into becoming a killer and using her to kill Berdly, Kris was horrified and shaken-up according to Susie and Ralsei. How do you think Frisk felt watching Chara be used to slaughter the Underground and then erasing the world when they’re totally corrupted?)
And lastly... look, Noelle and Chara are both minors, but Chara is significantly younger - a small child compared to Noelle’s teen. I know it’s fiction and strong wills and determination and anime is real and all, but a traumatized young child who died two violent and awful deaths back-to-back, may have literally experienced being a corpse in their own coffin/grave for who knows how long, and then came back ”confused” only to immediately start hearing a voice relentlessly commanding them to kill everyone?? I can absolutely see a traumatized kid shutting down and just going with it out of fear at first, before the LV sets in.
TLDR:
What you do to Noelle in the Weird Route is the same fucking thing you do to Chara in the Kill-All Route.
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caneannabelle · 3 years
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ok hi guys. it’s been a while. i wrote this analysis back when Mag 187 aka Checking Out aka The One Where Helen Dies first came out and literally ever since i’ve posted it i’ve wanted to redo it because it feels. lacking. listen if there’s one thing i hate it’s incomplete media analysis and i must right my wrongs lest i be forced to look upon myself and crumble from within. that being said, i’ve been putting off this rewrite for a long long time bc Life Gets Weird. tldr this was written over the course of several months so i apologize for inconsistent quality. anyways let’s get into it!
part one: recap!
it’s been a while! let’s just go over what happened. the scene i wanna focus on in particular is this one:
VICTIM
You’ve got to help me!
ARCHIVIST
[Angrily] Don’t touch me!
[THE ARCHIVIST PULLS AWAY, AS THE VICTIM FALLS AND IS CRYING]
HELEN
Oopsie. Not so easy, is it? Keeping up your humanity?
(187).
that being said i’m gonna be kind of all over the place but! i do think that’s a good jumping off point.
part two (part one): disparaging everyone’s problematic fav
in my original post my point was that in reflexively reacting to a victim with disgust and anger jon inadvertently reveals the nature of his dedication to helping victims as ego driven, especially because this line is directly preceded by him asserting his moral high ground over helen as being a “protector” as opposed to her indulgence in destruction. what i’m saying is homeboy has a savior complex. honestly there’s a lot of evidence to support that claim but i think the most obvious example would be jordan kennedy. like.
JORDAN
…Yeah. But wrong. Sick.
What did you do to me?
ARCHIVIST
I helped you.
JORDAN
Helped me? I don’t feel right, I, I just – Ah! No I don’t – argh! I don’t want this!
(184). to be clear it’s an action with a good intent! he just wants to help someone who once helped him! BUT it also demonstrates a lack of conscious empathy. i feel like i don’t have to argue this since jordan Literally vocally said he didn’t want this several times throughout the scene but the point remains that while jon’s intent is good the actual application of his saviourism removes the autonomy of those he affects. i’m not gonna touch on the “is it objectively immoral to become an oppressor for the sake of self preservation while existing within an extreme system in which all are oppressed regardless of your individual status” query mostly because i do not have the brainpower available rn to come to my own conclusion about systems of power and the way they’re represented in tma (which is a whole other rant tbh) but jon DOES rob jordan of the ability to come to his own conclusion in this debate and make his own choice, thereby removing his autonomy. you know. autonomy. free will. the thing that is central to jon’s internal conflicts. huh.
anyways i NEED to stress that i’m not saying that he’s the same as jonah or the web or even annabelle (although annabelle is a victim. no i don’t take constructive criticism). i just want to point out that his actions reflect a lack of understanding. while he’s able to empathize with the pain others experience and is eternally hyper- aware of it he is unable to view that pain through any lense besides his own and uses it in his cycle of self pity and blame, minimizing it at any point possible in the quickest way and Not prioritizing the wishes of the victim but instead the efficiency in decreasing his own guilt. anyways back to 187- both the victim and jordan are treated as props by jon (and helen) and once they serve their purpose in reaffirming the two’s sense of self are cast aside and ignored. ok from here i’m gonna get conceptual and self indulgent bc it’s my analysis and i get to bring up vague convoluted philosophy.
part two (part two): part two
let’s talk about the distortion for a sec. i refuse to believe helen and michael were both completely gone and it was just the distortion piloting their visage, mostly because… like that’s not what the text would indicate
HELEN
Michael isn’t me. Not now.
ARCHIVIST
What happened?
HELEN
He got… distracted. Let feelings that shouldn’t have been his overwhelm me.
Lost my way.
(101). it’s heavily implied that there was SOME remainder of michael in there, even if the being wasn’t him. maybe i’m way off base here but the way i interpreted the implosion of michael was that it was driven by his inability to maintain the repressed resentment and anger he had for gertrude. like it’s pretty clear that some warped version of michael’s feelings were trapped inside of the distortion and i’d go as far as to say that they were integral to his formation as it. i’m gonna operate on the assumption that michael and helen are two separate beings here for a sec even though we know they’re not. As opposed to michael’s resentment for the archivist, helen actively sought refuge in the institute and from the small amount we saw of her Pre-Distortion it seems like her paranoia is internally directed. i think you could even say that while michael was caught in an eternal battle with the concept of connection, helen is caught in a battle with the concept of self. the point is that she thinks of jon in a less “The Archivist” sense and more as just That Guy who she had an intense connection with that one time.
ARCHIVIST
So… S-so what do you want?
HELEN
I don’t know. Helen liked you, so… there’s a lot to consider. But I will help you leave.
(101). i would also like to point out that helen’s emergence as the distortion coincides with jon coming to terms with his identity as the archivist. parallels, baby! SO helen is a newly formed being that is grappling with the concept of her own existence and jon is reevaluating his understanding of identity as he comes to terms with the fact that he is turning into the thing he’s fighting against and this is all happening at the same time. live laugh love. stay with me here, i promise i’ll get back to 187. Throughout seasons 4 and 5 helen attempts to validate her own moral decisions via jon who she once saw herself in. conversely, jon sees both an image of what he could become AND arguably a representation of his past failure in her.
ARCHIVIST
It did. I think… I mean, you remember how I was back then, how paranoid. The Not!Sasha was there, and I could sense something wasn’t right, but I just couldn’t place it. It left me a suspicious wreck. Then when Helen Richardson came in, it seemed like… she was in the same place I was, but worse, further along. I thought, maybe if I could help her, that would mean… maybe I wasn’t beyond help?
(188). helen and jon lie at opposite ends of the same spectrum. both of them derive pleasure from the suffering of others
HELEN
Oh, John! This existence can be wonderful, if you just let it.
ARCHIVIST
[Sadly] I know.
(187). needless to say that a LOT of jon's arc and the themes surrounding him focus on the concept of autonomy and addiction and i think it'd be fair to say that this component is an aspect of that. repressing these qualities is both a way of reaffirming his control and also just.. him trying to be what he perceives as Good, and season 5 is the point at which this comes to the forefront of his character- particularly the line between what is intrinsic and what he truly has control over. a battle of the concept of the self, if you will. while the two share similar traits, jon is intensely moralistic while helen indulges in a twisted sense of hedonism and both are fueled by an inability to expand their viewpoint. helen fully immerses herself within these qualities and intentionally blinds herself to any concepts of morality (indulgence), and jon actively pushes back on this as hard as he can and follows black and white moral framework (repression). this means that in order for their relationship to function he must either accept her, choosing to let go in his personal battle with autonomy OR she must break out of her worldview and conform to standards of human morality which goes against her own nature.
part three: questions i do not have the answer to
so. what does it all mean. WELL. 187 is the boiling point of all this tension. we know that helen relies on jon to validate her sense of self and we know that jon sees himself in helen, both past and present
HELEN
But that doesn’t make any sense. You barely met her. You had half an hour together, and she spent most of that ranting about mazes! She was positively delirious with paranoia!
ARCHIVIST
True. But as you’ll recall, I was pretty paranoid myself at that point.
HELEN
So what? You saw yourself in her? A sad reflection? A possible future?
(187). I’d argue that 187 is demonstrative of jon’s inability to either fall into complete indulgence in intrinsic values that lack moral validity vs. maintain and image of self that does not conflict with the values he attempts to uphold in order to find internal satisfaction and yes both of those concepts are inherently egocentric as he bases his moral judgement on what he can justify to himself instead of what can be calculated via empathy. however. paired with the alternative (helen). is that BAD. is it inherently selfish to do what you perceive as good in order to feed your own savior complex? and if so, is it inherently selfish to indulge in destructive qualities as to not delude yourself? is honesty vs deception a black and white question? if not, where does helen even fall? in not deluding herself does she achieve a moral high ground? IS she deluding herself by denying the potential to be facetiously benevolent at the detriment of both her personal enjoyment and her honesty? does helen even posses the capability to repress her violent qualities? if she doesn't, does she have any autonomy? if she and jon are both inherently selfish and intentionally resistant to introspection, what makes them different? i do not have answers but i do think the text is meant to invoke these questions. i mean,
MICHAEL (STATEMENT)
There was a great evil, she said, and Michael was going to help her fight it. Am I evil, Archivist? Is a thing evil when it simply obeys its own nature? When it embodies its nature? When that nature is created by those which revile it? Perhaps Gertrude believed so. Michael certainly did. He believed everything she told him.
(101).
part 5: conclusion
so once again. what does it all mean. well! even post helen’s death jon continues to fight for autonomy and preserve his moral worldview so. i think that probably indicates something good.
MARTIN
Huh. She couldn’t help what she was, I guess.
ARCHIVIST
She didn’t even try.
(188). i honestly don’t have a thesis i just find it incredibly interesting how the themes surrounding these two intersect and play off of each other. anyways looping back to 187 i do think in a broad sense jon killing helen is representative of him choosing to stick by his convictions and keep fighting. i don’t have any good way to end this but thanks for sticking around during my self indulgent rambling!
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mcd-ms-rants · 3 years
Text
*opens tumblr*
*looks at activity*
8 notes??!!
hhhhh I don’t deserve u all thanks soo much <3
well u asked for it
be warned it’s super lengthy again
STUFF I DIDNT LIKE IN MCD SEASON 2:
• Right of the bat I’m just gonna say this season is a hot mess
• what is even going on here
• Why is Phoenix Drop so...untouched? Like yes it’s grown old with age but also everything looks ok not like burnt to the ground or anything
• I’m SURE Zane would have told someone in O’Khasis where he was going especially the Jury and you’re telling me that none of them care?? Not even Janus? His fave juror?
• If I were Janus I’d burn it down just sayin
• Why is Irene’s relic so glorified? I SHOULVE INCLUDED THIS IN THE LAST POST BUT WHY TF DOES ZANE NOT USE ESMUNDS RELIC LIKE WHYYY
• I don’t like how Irene has healing and everyone goes wow but we NEVER GET TO SEE ESMUNDS RELIC (I haven’t rewatched MCD in a while if he does use it lmk and ignore the above :) thx) I’m sure it’s pretty powerful considering in s3 Shad says “a spell by Esmund?” when he sees the protective barrier thing around the portal so it’s powerful and the Irene Dimension fight would have gone different with it
• Why does Aphmau act like a shit friend by venting to Laurance and then ditch him when he needs her most? Like you can’t just keep dumping your problems on him he’s got his own to deal with be supportive
• I LOVE VYLAD that’s it that’s all I have to say
• tho I wish we could have seen more of him and the relationship he shared with his brothers cuz angst time
• HOW is Aphmau able to disguise herself as Zane and WHY do people not question it? She has a different build and body structure, different colored eyes, two eyes not one, tan skin and some chest like cmon that disguise is fooling NO ONE also why is it normal for ‘Zane‘ to show up fifteen years after he was last seen? Why does this make no sense
• This may seem a bit much and honestly you’re welcome to your own opinions on it but I feel as though Zane should have had more of a role in s2. Hear me out. The way his character is written is that his untouchable status as a high priest is a big part of his character. It’s why he’s able to get away with so much shit. Removing that like in s3 ruined him (for me) and not using him at all in s2 seems like wasting a perfectly fine (albeit unoriginal) antagonist. Yes it would mean pretty much everything would change but yknow what maybe it needs to
• AARON. That’s it he’s the problem. In my opinion Aarmau should never have happened. Aph is a lord and doesn’t have time for a romantic relationship. Aaron is a broken shell of a man who definitely doesn’t have the time for a romantic relationship. They speak like 5 times properly and even then it’s nothing overly romantic (as far as I know?). I don’t think naming a child counts as romantic I always saw it as familial?? Aarmau ended being a one night stand that caused Aph so much grief and all through I was just thinking that it should never have happened anyway. They should’ve had a strong platonic bond instead. QUEERPLATONIC RELATIONSHIP. Imagine. it would’ve been so much better. It would’ve brought awareness to a community that is not always shown in the spotlight but is as deserving of it. Why does Aaron stick around after Zane is in the Irene Dimension anyway? Didn’t he say that he was there solely for revenge? Isn’t his part done? Why is he still trailing after Aphmau
• THAT DEATH SCENE THO. Zane and Aaron both die from some unknown magical thing. what is it? I have no clue all I remember is that Aph found it somewhere. someone remind me? I don’t understand why Zane was killed off in the very way they were trying to avoid in s1 I get it it’s been fifteen years real time but...it seemed so underwhelming for me. Anyone else?
• Ive seen a lot of people mention this one before but Laurence should’ve been Shad’s descendant not Aaron it didn’t make sense to me
• WHAT IS THE POLITICAL SYSTEM OF O’KHASIS. It’s such a crucial part of MCD yet we never hear of it at all. Since Aph is a lord it matters a lot. I can elaborate more on this if anyone wants me to!!
• WTF is the lore here. In ep 100 Hyria says that Irene had no children and in ms s6 flashbacks I see a child? Whose is it? What is going on??
too tired to add more rn but if you reached here thanks once again I never expected any of this <3
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sayosdreams · 2 years
Note
🌾 A fic you really want to write but you haven’t (yet)?
Oh, @flamingveritas , there are so many. So so so many. I’m putting them under the cut so u can read them all if u like but u don’t have to
Thank you so much for this ask 🥰
Okay, so let’s ignore the fics that I need to continue/ update. Fics that want to write but haven’t include
This James Sirius Potter / Lysander Scamander story where Lys is a trans woman. I actually started plotting this bc of how much I adored the concept and it was one of those “daydream worlds I’d escape to when I’m bored” sort of things. I do want to write it someday (hopefully)
This kind of long modern AU that is centered around Aedion and Aelin’s friendship / cousin dynamic. Basically the prolongue would start off when Aedion moves in with Aelin and her parents when he’s around 6, go through her parents’ divorce and stuff, and the actual story would have a few chapters where the characters are in middle school but the main crux of the story would be in high school. The vibes I’m basing this off of is Aedion and Aelin drifting apart and Aedion being rly sad abt it. Aelin will introduce Aedion to her new friends (Rowan, + maybe the rest of the cadre) as her “second cousin” even tho she used to introduce him as her “brother”. So yeah those r the vibes. Oh also Aedion is gonna be best friends with Elide. I actually started writing this fic but idk I felt like I wasn’t doing Justice to it? Hopefully I will be able to write this
Another fic I started writing was this Rowaelin modern AU. It started off with mild angst in the first chapter which I wrote based off a prompt or smth, but then when I started writing ch 2 it went do RLYYY angsty, dark stuff. It would be the darkest fic I’ve written / thought abt writing so far (Before the Dust Settles is kind of dark in some ways I guess but that’s mostly just angst. This fic would be dark in terms of Aelin’s past trauma with Arobynn). I don’t know if I’ll finish it or not but I do think it could be an interesting story. If you’re wondering, it would be like the premise of Dark Roast No Sugar by but no coffee shop, Aelin and Rowan are exes when the story starts, and also like Rowan isn’t an investigator or anything and Aelin isn’t pregnant, and… yeah
A million Nessian fic ideas. I honestly might start doing what ppl like @ vidalinav have done where they just post the incomplete snippets of fics they don’t think they’ll finish.
I rly would like to write a Nessian fic where Cassian loses / almost loses his wings. I can’t remember the title rn but there’s a fic where Nesta shares Cassian’s pain when she touches him, so kind of like those vubes but not that premise?? It would essentially be Nesta explaining to Cassian that he is much more than his wings and his life isn’t over without them (it would sort of be a commentary of masculinity as well). Nesta would be going through her own shit abt turning into a fae, etc so Cassian would be helping her through that as well
It’s amazing that I still haven’t written a Lysaedion fic or a Teddy Lupin fic when those are some of my fav fics to read. I rly do want to write them someday
everyday I get more and more tempted to write a Regulus centric fanfic, soo I guess we shall see what happens 👀
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venomous-ko · 3 years
Text
Wine Drunk while watching Godzilla vs Kong
Some major spoilers up ahead!
Mans really just annoyed the shit out of his coworker until he left so he could hack shit, huh?...I love it! 🤣🤣
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You mean to tell me that the explanation for why Godzilla attacked the one tech company site by the dude who studied Kaiju communication and behavior for a living is just, “sometimes people (and creatures) change”???? Like some dumbass justifying a toxic person/relationship??? Like excuse me???? Why are the literal teenagers making more sense than you?????
Also, we’re all in agreement that this facility is either housing Ghidora’s dead head, Mecha Godzilla, or Mecha Ghidora, right?!?
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Lol! “Apex Cybernetics!” That’s not foreshadowing! 🤣
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Apparently, I didn’t get my fill of white nonsense from Falcon and Winter Soldier, bc someone decided to put this blonde-hair-blue-eyed little bitch in charge! That’s not ganna go wrong somehow. 🙃😑👀
Like this bitch literally wanted to send a fucking child into unexplored hollow earth territory without a second thought! 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I was literally like 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 for that entire convo.
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I’m sorry! This conspiracy man just met these teenagers, and his first impulse was, “yeah, theses seem like some good people to break into a tech conglomerate with!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Why are these people surprised Kong knows sign language? These are people who study Kaiju (and presumably other animals in order to draw conclusions about certain behaviors) for a fucking living!!! We have primate species that recognize and communicate in sign language already! Why is this surprising???!?! Like...has NO ONE except this precious child tried this????
Also, nothing bad better happen to this child.
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That ship literally fucked around, and Godzilla let it find out! Lmao!
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Kong: Hey, Godzilla...look at me...
Godzilla: >:[
Kong: ...bitch.
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Precious girl: Thank you, friend 🧏🏽‍♀️
Kong: ☺️😴
THIS GIRL IS TOO PRECIOUS!!!!
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Bitch-ass White Man: How’s Kong with heights?
BITCH, you really ganna try that?!?! You really think you ganna find any aircraft(s) that are ganna be able to support all that weight?? Never mind any other problems with Kong trying to nope the fuck out of that situation and all kind of other hosts of problems!
And if you do somehow have one (or multiple) WHY TF DIDN’T YOU USE THAT BEFORE KNOWING FULL AND WELL YOU RAN THE RISK OF GODZILLA MERCING KONG’S ASS IF YOU TRAVELED VIA SHIP!?!?!?!
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Down the Hell Naw tunnel we go!
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“I think it’s romantic,”
I fucking love Millie Bobbie Brown’s character!! 🤣❤️🤣
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WHY IS THIS TEENAGER SMARTER THAN EVERYBODY OMG!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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“This is page one in the ‘Playing God’ handbook, right?”
I’ve decided I love this character! 🤣
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WHY YOU GETTING INSIDE THAT THING—Oh god! 😨 Why y’all got eggs!?!? This is like if Weyland-Yutani succeeded in getting Xenomorphs! 😬
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Oop! Locked in! THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T HIDE OUT IN MYSTERIOUS ROOMS!!!!
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Oh shit! Apex Cybernetics think they on that Wakanda shit now!
Also, why was that one Apex Cybernetics bitch bitching about how one of those HEAV crafts could power Vagas for a week if y’all clearly have a whole network or transportation using this tech!
And I never understood how tech companies kept that shit to world domination shit! Build a public transportation system with that shit! Boss man said he likes ideas that make him rich! Pretty sure that would do the trick!
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WINE BREAK!!!
Saving the rest of the last bottle for coking Gumbo, so gotta open up a new bottle
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Aw, Kong is so sick of this bullshit! 😂😭
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“It’s not working”
Bruh! Give it more that two seconds!
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HOW DARE Y’ALL USE KONG’S LOSS AGAINST HIM!!!! HOW DARE Y’ALL!!!
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HEAV go Brrrrrrr Shoooooooooooom!!!!
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LMAO!!! Monarch has their own brand of bottled water!?!?! Idk why that amuses me so much!
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This hallow earth portal thing is some Pacific Rim bullshit right here, lol!
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NYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM
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Are we...are we really Ice Age: Dawn of Dinosaur-ing this shit rn??? 😂😂😂
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“It’s beautiful,”
Of course it’s beautiful! No hoomins have touched it! Lol
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Y’ALL GOT FUCKIN DRAGONS IN THIS BITCH!?!?!?!!! 8D YO!!! SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!!
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*marvels at the creature creation ideas*
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Kong’s first thought: *nom the dragon guts*
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THE ROCK HAND OMG IM GANNA CRY!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 It’s the same gesture the Precious Girl did OMG!!!!
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“We going in?”
“Yeah”
The BALLS on this child!
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“AAAAHH 😐”
*fear*
LMAO!!!!! I’M FUCKIN WHEEZING!!!
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“Sacrifice Pit”
OMG 🤣🤣🤣
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I KNEW IT!!!! MECHA-GODZILLA MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! 8DDDDD
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YO PACIFIC RIM RAN SO MECHA-GODZILLA COULD FUCKIN SPRINT!!!!!!!!
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YO IT’S A GOOD THING I AIN’T SEEING THIS IN THEATERS BC I’D BE FLIPPING MY SHIT!!!!
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“Humanity, once again, will be the apex species,”
THERE it is!
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Why Mecha-Godzilla so skeeny?!? He need ta be thicc if he ganna take down REAL Godzilla!
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*Ryan Bergera conspiracy voice* Is this the real reason Kong was contained!? So this douche could snatch up Skull Crawlers without Kong intervention???
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OH SHIT!!! I think this thing is emitting alpha waves (or whatever we’re calling it) and THAT’s what set Godzilla off!!! He fought Ghidorah, heard this shit and went, “Nu-uh, bitch! NOT AGAIN!!!”
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Monarch dude: Yo, Godzilla’s headed to Hong Kong for some reason?
FUCKIN CALLED IT!!!
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This look like the door to fuckin General Grievous’s lair,da fuq?!? 🤣🤣🤣
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I got waaay too emotional over that handprint, y’all! 😭😭😭
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Y’all, the fucking art history major in me is fuckin screaming at this temple scene! The fact that some of these Kaiju not only had the urge and drive and capacity to build a fucking temple around this power source or some shit and create weapons like the axe that Kong just fucking Excalibured the shit out of that one skull crawler’s skull fucking implies the fact that there is intelligent civilization amongst these fucking Kaiju and all that shit! I want to know more about this shit! Take that you fucking racist-ass white historian motherfuckers!
(Note: I definitely needed to use talk to text for much of this bit, because there was no way I was going to be able to contain all my excitement in just typing, alone, lmao)
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BRUH!!! Why y’all exiting g the HEAV without no breathing apparatus or lead suits or nothing!?!?! In previous movies, y’all implied that these Kaiju lived in environments in which their environments were hella radioactive compared to our own!!!
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Kong is s the true heir to the iron throne, Lmao!
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FUCKING CALLED IT!!!! THEY HAD GHIDORA’S REMAINS IN THERE SOMEWHERE!!!!
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OH FUCK!!!! Y’ALL AINT JUST SENDING OUT ALPHA VIBES WITH YOUR MECHA-GODZILLA!!!! YOU SOMEHOW USING GHIDORA’S HIVE MIND OR TELEPATHY SHIT TO DO IT!?!?!?! AAAWWWWW SHEEEEEET!!! Y’ALL ARE BONED NOW!!!! FUCKIN BONEROWNED!!!!
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Godzilla! My bruh! My dude! You didn’t HAVE TO get up right where that bridge was!!! 😂😂 Ya douche bag!!!
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At the same time, tho, I can just hear him going, “Ah! FUCK! NOT AGAIN!!! Sunova bitch!! Motherfuckin!! STOP BUILDING sHIT SO DAMN HIGH!!! Goddammit!”
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You know, with all the Bright twinkly lights in Hong Kong, I can’t help but think of the sequel to the original Gojira movie ( that I can’t remember the title of ,rn) where he was fucking triggered by fucking lights. And I wonder if this little scene where he’s stomping all through Hong Kong is a tribute to that or whatever. But I’m probably overthinking it.
[Sober Edit: it was Godzilla Raids Again]
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*GASP* HOLY SIHIIIT!!! The axe is made out of Godzilla skute!?!?! GOLY BALLS THAT’S NOT ONLY COOL BUT CONTRIBUTES MORE TO THE FACT THAT THESE KAIJU (likely Kong’s species, in particular) WERE REALLY FUCKING INTELLIGENT AMD TJOUGHT, “Imma beat this muthafucka with their own spiky thing! Bc that’s what screws us over, so, why WOULD’nt it hurt them!?!” I need SO MUCH MORE of this Kaiju/Kong culture studied and shit! HOLY FUCK!!!
It even fucking glows!! Like ... they managed to fucking piece together that its glow was a fucking warning sign like Sting or some shit!!!! Holy fuck!!!!
Also, how does that work? How are the skutes still connected even after dismemberment???
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NO FUCKIN WAY WRE YOU—AAAAAAAAHHH!!! Excalibur that shit my boi!!!!
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I FUCKIN LOVE YHIS MOVIE HOLY SHIT!!!
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“ that’s Apex property now,”
Excuse me bitch! Are we really not gonna listen to the scientist who saying “hey we don’t understand the shit out of this fucking power! Maybe we should hold off on taking some fucking samples!”
Are we really just gonna ignore that shit???????
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Kong said: TRY ME BITCH!!!!
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Oh thank the GODS this Serizawa dude is taking precautions like his old man! Also, what is his relation to Ken Watanabe’s Serizawa!?!?!
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UH OH!! SOLDIER DUDES GETTIN ATE!!!
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OH SHIT!!! PILOT JUST GOT ATE!!! FUCKIN DRAGON BASEMENT UP IN THIS SHIT!!!
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BITCH YOU REALLY GON THROW A ROCK AT IT!!! FUCKIN NONSENSE OF THIS BITCH!!!
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LOVE AND FITE ME ENERGY IS STORED IN THE ATOMIC BREATH
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“Shoot him!”
WHY!!!???!! He literally had NO problem with you before then!!!
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Why does white man who don’t know anything about this vehicle suddenly know how to pilot this shit!???!?!!!!!
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Y’all love had SO MUCH wine!
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The FUCK this dude got a flip flop phone for!!!?!????!!!?
Da fuq!?!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 yeah that’s the most unrealistic part of this entire fucking movie! Not the fuckin Kaiju robots. Not the fucking hollow earth bullshit! The fucking flip phone! LMFAO!!!!
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“Maintenance! I’M MAINTENANCE!!! This bitch ain’t buying it”
That made me laugh WAY FUCKIN harder that it should have!!!!
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Y’all really ganna try to shoot at a kid!?! REALLY!?!?!??!
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GAWD, I’m so glad I impulse bought these oatmeal bites from Dominos! 🤤😋
[Sober Edit: I have no idea how my autocorrect managed to convert “Parmesan” to “oatmeal,” but okay! 😆😅]
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Kong be like, “Hey, bitch!!! You lookin’ for me!?!?”
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Find you a partner that bites your neck like Godzilla does! Lmao!
Sorry, I’ll be crawling back into my hell hole, now.
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EAT YOUR FOOKIN VEGETABLES GODZILLA!!!!!
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Did Godzilla just axe throw with his fuckin teefs!!!????!?!?!
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THIS IS THE FOOKIN MONSTER VS MONSTER FIGHTS IVE BEEN CRAVING SINCE KING OF THE MONSTERS HOLY SHIT!!!!
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“Really? Groupies, again?”
First of all, again!?! What happened last time???
Secondly, where tf are YOUR grpupies, asshole! No need to judge! Ya cunt!
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“There can only be one alpha,”
Really! You really gotta bring your toxic masculinity into a fuckin monster fight, my dude!?!
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Kong said, “Yeet! YEET SELF!!!”
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I am living for the feral fight scenes!!!!
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Kong’s expression , tho! 🤣🤣🤣
Like, “Can you ducking NOT, Godzilla?!? Can you, like, fucking chill??!!? Aight, fine! ASDASHKLSDJKLDZJL ADKLKDZDJ!!!!!!”
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Awwwww! Godzilla let Kong go, bc he knows what it’s like to be the last of his species! 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭
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“This is how we [...] win!”
Oh, honey, you ‘bout to die! Lmao! 😂
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Oh god! I knew he was going to use the sign for “coward” at the most inappropriate time! Lmao! At least the Precious Girls is smart enough to know what Dumbass White Man means, lol
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Oh, thank god we do t see this dumbass in any sequels!
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Dammit, he escaped!
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This girl is too good!
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Did y’all really think you were ganna break into a semi-sentient Mecha-Godzilla by GUESSING ITS FUCKING PASSWORD!!?!?!?!!!!???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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YEAH!!!! TEAM-UP COMING THROUGH!!!!!
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“I was hoping to die with adults, but that’s okay,”
🤣🤣🤣
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“I’VE GOT TO DIE WITB YOU AND SOBER!!?!?!”
GOD, I love this movie!!!!
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OOOOOOHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱 He powering up the axe!!!!!
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YOOOOOO KONG WENT PREDATOR/YOUTJA ON MECHA-GODZILLA’s ASS!!!!
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Kong said, “I’m done, y’all! Imma take a nap!”
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“Dad. Uh...Bernie.”
I fucking love Bernie!!! 😂😂😂😂
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JIA NOOOO!!! Don’t go running between two disgruntled Kaiju bby!!
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Yo, why do monsters have less toxic masculinity than we do??? Lol!
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Yaaaaaay! Kong has a new home!!
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WELP!!! I fucking loved this movie, and I highly recommend it to everyone!!!
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flooffybits · 3 years
Text
Favoritism
Idol: Kim Minji, Kim Yoohyeon (Dreamcatcher)
Anon: - i wanna start by saying thank u for taking the time to read this and that reading ur works is such a stress reliever amidst all the deadlines i have ☺️ craving some fluff rn so can i request a scenario with poly reader, jiu and yoohyeon? jiyoo wants their s/o’s attention but s/o is busy with pie and cherry who seem to favor s/o a lot more than their own owners. (can u add sua being whiny bc pie keeps running away by going to the reader? i find it cute everytime i see a scared pie with her 😂)
A/n: this is just such a cute and funny idea that i was excited to write it. I’ve been itching for more Dreamcatcher requests so thank you for this
☕buy me a coffee☕
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Your girlfriends always loved it when you were able to spend time together despite your busy schedules. With them being idols and you at your own job, it was understandable that the time you had together wasn’t exactly a lot. But whenever you were around, it made the whole thing more meaningful.
Gone were Jiu and Yoohyeon from Dreamcatcher and the only people left were your girlfriends, Minji and Yoohyeon. Whenever the three of you were together, they lived their lives in such a domestic manner even with the mention of InSomnias and having the rest of the group around every now and then.
While they loved when you were at the dorm, right now, they were sat to the side, watching with envy when your attention would not shift away from the twos pups that were happily wiggling on your lap and trying to catch your hands.
“You’re so cute! If I knew you were here, I would have brought something for you.” You coo while scratching under their chins before they decided to stand on their hind legs in an attempt to lick your face, but due to both being so small, they could barely even reach your neck.
But their attempts were just so cute, and the way they would not stop trying to lick you ended up tickling you and forcing you to fall back from your sitting position. Seeing their opportunity, the two dogs waste no time in attacking your face with kisses, drawing more giggles from your lips as you squirmed on the floor.
It would have been such an adorable sight to the two owners, but seeing as it’s been more than thirty minutes of you ignoring the pair that’s caused them to dislike their adorable little fur babies at that very moment.
“Cherry, come here!” The leader tried after another five minutes, but the white puppy refused to budge from your chest, the same with Pie when Yoohyeon tried calling for her. “Pie, Y/n is tired, see?” But she simply turned her head away when you started to pet the two.
Minji looked at you with a huff, pouting when you wouldn’t even look in their direction. “I get the feeling that you’re only with us for our dogs.” She claims, but even then you refuse to look while smiling at the two. “Well, they were the ones asking for my attention. It’s kinda hard not to give it to them.” You chuckle lightly before slowly sitting up, setting the two on your lap but keeping one hand on each of them as they finally calmed down.
“You said you were visiting us, not Pie and Cherry! And they won’t even come to us.” Yoohyeon complained with a pout of her own when she stood to try and take her pet away, but Pie had only tried to wriggle out of her arms before she was making her way back to you.
“In my defense, I had no clue they were here.” You smile before putting the two on the floor to stand up and tend to your sulking girlfriends, which caused them to finally smile at getting your attention, but the tugging of your pants had caused you to pause, looking down to find Cherry biting on it just so you would pay more attention to her.
Seeing this, Minji’s eyes narrowed before she looked around for the pup’s toy and then reaching for it. “Cherry, look! It’s your favorite toy.” She called out, and while she felt triumphant when she looked, Cherry was quick to dismiss it as she barked and attempted to have you pick her up once more.
Their antics had caused you to laugh before reaching down to pick both Cherry and Pie up, seeing as the latter was staring at you to do so. Walking over to the bed, you sat down next to Minji, Yoohyeon taking the opposite side as you set the two dogs on their respective owners’ laps.
But before they could even properly hold them, the two hopped off their laps and back on yours, earning a groan from the pair and another bout of laughter from you. “Jesus, why are they so clingy?” You ask, your voice going a pitch higher when you, once again, began to shower them with affection.
"For heaven's sake..." Minji tried to get Cherry off of you, only to have her bark back and shift away from her hands. "Yah! Kim Cherry!"
"Pie loves mommy, right? Come to mommy." Yoohyeon had attempted to lure Pie back to herself, only to have said dog turn its head to you and pressed her small body against your stomach.
Seeing as there was no chance of their pets leaving your side, Yoohyeon groaned dramatically before she was laying down on the bed. “Unnie! Our babies are stealing Y/n!” She whined in a high pitched tone as Minji pouted while you continued to play with the two said babies.
“You’re being so dramatic. They just missed me just like you did.”
“We still miss you because we only got at least five minutes until Pie and Cherry took you away.”
Lightly rolling your eyes, you then move to set the two pups on the floor and then turn to the pair who were looking at you with a pout on their faces. If it were possible, Yoohyeon would even cry with how much you refused to give them any form of attention.
“Come here. They can’t get on the bed.”
At that, your two girlfriends finally perked up before you were pulled down on the bed and into their eager arms, kisses being pressed to your cheeks before Yoohyeon rested her head against your shoulder and Minji pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, sighing in content as they were finally able to enjoy your company without a problem.
“I can’t believe you were being jealous over dogs.” You chuckled when the three of you just ended up cuddling on the bed, kisses exchanged in between and whispered compliments slipping every now and then.
Minji scoffed as she glanced to the floor where the two were, patiently waiting with their tails wagging, and then back to you. “We’re your girlfriends.”
“They’re your babies.”
“Stop ruining the moment.”
You ended up laughing at the small whine that came from the silver haired woman and kissed her forehead before doing the same to Minji, who relaxed in your hold and allowed her eyes to close.
“I’m always gonna love the both of you. Cherry and Pie are your kids, so of course I’m going to love them, too.” You tell them as Yoohyeon hums. “But you should love us more.”
“There’s no one else to love more.”
..
Later in the evening, everyone’s gathered in the living room, you and Minji in the kitchen, preparing dinner, while Gahyeon decided to help out and wanting to learn as well.
The rest of the girls were just waiting, playing with the two dogs since their attention seemed to always flit to the pair whenever one of them was brought along for the group to meet.
“Unnie, stop!” You could hear Yoohyeon’s voice amidst the chaos while continuing to stir the pot, the girls’ laughter meeting your ears after. “Be careful!” Siyeon had called out and the three of you wonder what was happening until two fluffy puppies came pawing at your legs.
Handong had to laugh as Bora ran after them. Currently, Yubin was laughing on the couch with Siyeon beside her and the main vocalist had her phone out whilst Yoohyeon had gotten up to run after the two as well.
When you look down at the two, Bora was already whining. “Why do they keep going to Y/n?” The volume of her voice seemed to frighten the pups and you smile before gently picking them up, your older girlfriend shaking her head as she went back to finishing your food while Gahyeon did her best to distance herself from you and the dogs in your arms.
“They really love Y/n. Cherry even barked at me when I tried to take her away.” Minji explained as you walked to the living room to set the pups down. Yubin reached out after calming from her laughing fit and smiled when Pie licked at her hand while Handong gently started to pet Cherry’s head.
“It would have been easy if Y/n’s surname was Kim, too. But if ever, are you going to rename them as Cherry and Pie L/n or just keep them as is?” Siyeon asked curiously.
“I’m offended that you think I’ll let Y/n completely steal my baby, unnie.” Yoohyeon piped up as she picked Pie up into her arms and rubbed her stomach. “Ohhh. Rejected.” Handong teases but you just smile and shake your head. “Even if they don’t have my name, I can still love them, anyway.”
“Y/n is such a sweet talker, no wonder Cherry and Pie prefer them over us.” Minji stated as she and Gahyeon finally came back with the food and placed them on the table. “Well, to be fair, Y/n is a really lovable person.” Gahyeon piped up, earning a smack on the arm from a cackling Bora.
“I can’t argue with that, but I still refuse to leave Y/n with Cherry and/or Pie anymore. I feel like if we do that, they’ll go home with Y/n instead.”
“Hey, I’ll take good care of them.” You defend and Yubin nods her head. “With how you take care of Jiu unnie and Yoohyeon, there’s no doubt about it.”
“No, I’d rather Y/n just takes care of us and we’ll handle the dogs.” Yoohyeon huffs and her fellow maknae seemed surprise whilst Siyeon poked her arm. “Are you being jealous? Of your own dog?”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Minji and Yoohyeon send you a glare while you winked at them. “They’ve been like this the whole day.” You explain, earning another round of laughter from the group, minus your two lovely girlfriends.
“You’re lucky we love you.”
“Love you, too.”
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Clear as Day
 Part One?
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AN: Here’s some friends with benefits with Vince that I came up with in between cases at work. Vince if you’re reading this I’m so sorry please stop right here but also hmu I swear I just wanna be friends. I don’t know much about being a pediatric nurse (financial law anyone?) but I did volunteer at a hospital for a while so I hope it’s not super far off. I have plans and some stuff written for a part two that could be the same length so let me know you want one but it could be complete like this. (First person narrative but again no names or descriptions for the mc)
Warnings: language, definitely (also English isn’t my first language so perhaps some mistakes) and smut, also definitely (yes you read that right I did it again)
Word Count: 13.3k
I loved my job. I really did. I found it rewarding to be able to make tiny faces light up but I was currently on my second day of 12 hour back to back shifts, with yesterday closer to 14 hours, and I just really wanted to spend the entire day in bed.
It wasn’t even 7 a.m. yet and the streets of Toronto were already bustling, everybody preparing for a busy day. The sound of the ice cubes sloshing around in my coffee had become a staple background noise for the walk from the employee parking lot to the front entrance of the hospital, it soothed me.
As soon as I stepped into the building I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face, despite being sleep-deprived and basically needing a break already. There was a new drawing pinned to the wall by the nurses’ station and if the image of my smiling face wasn’t a dead giveaway already, it was hard to miss my name written on top of it in big bold letters.
It had started out as a joke really, a half-hearted complaint about me not getting as many drawings as others because most of my patients didn’t stay long in the ICU. From that moment on Lucas, my only long-term patient right now and all-time favorite teenager, had made sure that there was always a new one waiting for me every week. He was really good at drawing as well and I had an entire stack of amazing portraits, landscapes and lots of other random things at my apartment that I cherished dearly.
“He wanted to give it to you himself but then we had to give him something and he asked me to put it up so you’d see it as soon as you got in.” I turned around to see Mariah standing behind me, her face showing the same look of fondness as mine. Most of the nurses were pretty convinced that he had a crush on me and while I had to face lots of playful jabs because of that, she never gave me shit about it. She was probably about to head out and I knew that she only stayed behind to tell me this so I made sure to thank her.
“Is he up yet?”
“Surprisingly not, although he should be soon. He’s had a rough night and he stayed up way too long to draw but I doubt that anything could ruin this day for him, two dreams coming true and all.”
As soon as her words registered with me I mentally facepalmed, I’d completely forgotten that we’d get a visitor in a couple of hours. Because of Lucas’ surgery he hadn’t talked about hockey all that much lately, so I’d kind of forgotten that today he would get to meet one of his idols. I was about to respond something when I spotted Sydney waving me over.
Sydney was in charge of all of the pediatric nurses during the day shift, meaning that I had approximately three seconds to make my way over before she’d get impatient because she was always so busy. I waved goodbye to Mariah and speed walked over to Sydney, curious to see as to what she needed of me. She never beat around the bush, always coming straight to the core of things so I didn’t expect the conversation to last long and today was no different. She probably held the world record for fastest talker.
“So you know we’re getting a visitor today which means that I need someone to run a tight ship for me. You’re young and perky and I asked around and people love you. I know you helped with some of the Leafs the last time so you should already be familiar with the protocol. This is a big hospital and I want all of the kids on the list to get a chance to talk to Mr Dunn and that won’t happen if he gets lost so I want you to stay with him at all times, got it? I’ll get one of the on-calls to take over for you during everything.”
I couldn’t even get a word in before her pager went off and she jogged off after practically thrusting a file into my hands, unable to respond anything as she said something over her shoulder about this being a gift. I stared after her with my mouth hanging wide open, not really comprehending what had just gone down yet.
Being ‘young and perky’ had apparently just managed to get me demoted from a RN to a babysitter for yet another over-confident celebrity which didn’t really feel like a gift at all.
Lucas had told me all about how great this Vince apparently was but I had seen my fair share of famous people walking around these halls with camera teams following them, it was kind of a part of working with sick kids. There were exceptions of course, some of them were really nice but those were usually the ones that didn’t visit the kids for some good PR. While I was glad that it would make Lucas happy it didn’t really impress me anymore.
Besides I hadn’t really paid attention to hockey ever before, although it was hard to escape the hype right now with me being a St. Louis native. Some of my friends had sent me pictures of the parade from about a month ago but I hadn’t really paid much attention because I’d been slammed with work, not recognizing any of the players either way.
The file Sydney had given me consisted of a schedule for the day and a list of the kids that wanted to meet Vince, which was surprisingly long for this being a hospital in Toronto and him playing for the Blues. Even with my limited, read non-existent, hockey knowledge I was pretty sure that the team wasn’t liked very much in the league but I blamed it on them winning. Sydney was right, we would have to make good time to get through everybody.
I couldn’t exactly spend forever going through the file because I had mostly new admissions assigned to me and that meant lots of charting and running tests. I did spend my break reading through everything and trying to come up with a plan while shoveling food to my mouth at record speed however. Even if I wasn’t exactly thrilled with this assignment there was absolutely no way I wouldn’t be prepared. I would leave this hospital with the best possible impression of me, all things be damned.
It was kind of hard to focus on what was written in front of me though when I had three other nurses standing close by and ranting about how hot Vince apparently was. Lucas had shown me his hockey card a few times but I didn’t really know what he looked like because I was usually busy putting in a new IV line at the time, something he’d come to hate so talking about hockey was the perfect distraction. I was tempted to google him but before I got the chance my pager went off, signaling that the incoming convoy was about to arrive.
Unable to stop myself I checked my reflection quickly in one of the mirrors on my way out of the restroom. Call me vain but I didn’t want to end up in any pictures or videos looking like a total slob, even if it was just in the background. I’d taken the time to shower this morning but I definitely would’ve added more than the layer of concealer if I’d known about this earlier. At least I’d gotten my brows done and my lash extensions refilled a couple of days ago. Deciding that it was too late to do anything else about it I walked towards the front entrance with the file in my hands, making sure one last time that I knew where to take this Vince first.
It wasn’t hard to spot him in the group that arrived, the big shiny trophy he was lugging around kind of a dead giveaway.
He was good-looking, I had to give him that. Not in the rugged handsome way however, it was more of a defined features and beautiful way. The kind of look that got you dubbed as a pretty boy during high school, the polo shirt he was spotting only reinforcing that image.
I couldn’t really imagine him playing ice hockey. He was fit of course, but he wasn’t as big and bulky as I’d thought and if I had to guess I’d peg him as a baseball or lacrosse player, perhaps soccer even. If all hockey players looked like him however, I might have to catch a game or two after all.
I walked over with my big work smile plastered on my face, hand outstretched and he set the cup down to shake it as I introduced myself first. I caught him looking me up and down quickly but I wasn’t really one to talk because I’d done the same exact thing just seconds earlier.
“Hi I’m Vince, nice to meet you. Love the scrubs by the way”, he responded with a dazzling smile, gesturing at my outfit. Compliments weren’t a bad start, especially since I was wearing one of my favorites with an adorable blue and pink dinosaurs print.  
“Thanks, one of my friends paints them for me.” Not willing to dwell too long on awkward small talk I continued: “Do you want me to get like a wheelchair for the cup or are you gonna carry it the entire time?”
“I think I’d get a lot of shit for not carrying it so thanks but no thanks.”
I quickly introduced myself to the rest of the team before herding everyone towards the elevators because he had to be upstairs in a couple of minutes. The camera team was more intimidating than I’d thought and I tried my best to distract myself from it as I pointed out different things around the hospital, only hoping that I wasn’t rambling without making any sense.
I was pretty sure that Vince could tell that I was uncomfortable because he kept our conversation going the whole time, obviously trying to make me laugh. His own laugh was hard to ignore and by the time we walked into the room where a livestream would take place the smile on my face was real. At least he wasn’t just easy on the eyes but he seemed fairly entertaining so far as well.
I watched him do the stream with Owen, who I’d spent some time in post-op with after his surgery a couple of weeks ago, and then stood close by as he talked to the long line of patients and people who were able to come up here. Sometimes when he saw a special needs kid getting closer he’d turn to me to ask for advice and tips and even all that ruckus didn’t stop him from keeping up a normal conversation with me.
He’d pick up right where we left off whenever there was a small break in between people and I wasn’t only amazed at his multitasking, but also at how amazing he was with the kids. He made me show him how to hold a baby and I think I’ll never be able to forget the image of a cute little baby boy in the cup.
“I ate cereal out of there this morning”, he whispered conspiratorially to me after the mother was finally done thanking him and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Of course you did. I hope you put it in the sink afterwards at least.” He gave me a wounded look, as if me insinuating he was not a clean person was hurting his ego and I laughed even more. I couldn’t really tell if he was trying to flirt with me or if he was like this with everyone but the mixed signals he’d sent me all afternoon were starting to get confusing.
“You think so lowly of me, I thought you’d know better by now.” With anyone else the wink he sent me as he delivered his line would have probably been overkill but somehow it worked for him.
The fact was that I did know better by now, even if it had only been just under two hours. I probably hadn’t been this wrong about something since I absolutely botched a math test in tenth grade thinking I aced it and he had turned out to be nothing like I had imagined him to be. Perhaps the early morning sleep-deprived me lacked the sense of being able to assess character that I usually had.
When I told him that it was time to leave he looked at me with a puppy eyes, pleading with me to let him stay a little longer. Working in pediatrics I got this a lot but somehow it had a whole different effect on me coming from a 6 feet tall hockey player with lips that were practically made for pouting.
“But there’s still some people left that I haven’t gotten to.”
“There’s also some kids that couldn’t come up here because they are too sick waiting for you in the ICU and you won’t be able to see all of them in time if we don’t go over there now. There’s a tight schedule for a reason you know.”
“Fuck the schedule, I’ll just stay longer,” he said with a cheeky grin but not before covering the ears of the little girl in front of him with his hands so she wouldn’t hear him curse. At this point I felt like it was way too easy for him to make me laugh but at the same time I didn’t really want to do anything against it. These halls had seen worse things than people laughing after all.
“You fit right in with all of my patients, you know that? And don’t you have plans with the cup for this evening?”
I didn’t get an answer straight away because Vince took his time to talk to the last five families left in line before we made our way back to the elevators. I had kind of forgotten about the camera crew that was there to document it all until all of us were crammed back inside the tight space, my shoulder brushing against Vince’s arm so I wouldn’t bump into any of the expensive equipment.
“I promised to make an appearance at this club but they’ll wait for me. By the way, you should come as well.” At first I thought he was joking, surely he had to be as we’d only met, but his try at a winning smile told me he was anything but. Again, was this him flirting or was I losing my mind?
“Shooting your shot while you’re in my good graces because of the kids, I see. I’m gonna have to disappoint though, I’m stuck here till seven and then I have another 12 hour shift coming up tomorrow so I can have a four day weekend.” I had already kind of accepted that we would never see each other again, especially with me turning him down now, and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t a bit sad about it.
“That sounds brutal. I’m throwing another party at my condo on Saturday if you’re free then.”
“I’m actually driving up to a lake house with some friends for the weekend, sorry.” By now I really was interested because he seemed fun and I wanted that for my last few weeks up here but his timing was truly the worst.
“Wow, you’re really making me work for it,” he let out a teasing chuckle then, running his hand up and down his neck in a very distracting move as he contemplated his next words “I’m assuming you have a busy week next week as well so perhaps next Saturday?”
“Ummm.. I already agreed to meet some friends at a bar on that Saturday,” his face fell at that so I couldn’t help but add “but you’re welcome to meet us there if you want to see how the working class parties. Bring some of your friends as well if you want.”
The smile he gave me at that was equivalent to that of a five year old patient when they get told that they could have a slice of the chocolate cake and it made me glad that there was no one monitoring my heart rate at the moment.
-
The next day was just another regular day at work and while I had lots of fun yesterday, I was glad to be back in my comfort zone. Working days was anything but boring and I had been so busy that my watch told me I’d already reached my step goal for the day halfway through my shift.
I finally had some time to update the charts while sitting down at the nurses’ station, desperately hoping for some down time soon so I could perhaps even grab another cup of coffee to stop me from climbing into a free bed and taking a nap right there.
I’d seen many people pray in this building and not all of them got what they wished for but somehow today must have been my lucky day because just as I’d finished that thought someone cleared their throat in front of me. I was ready to answer some questions from worried parents but what I totally didn’t expect was Vince standing there with two coffee cups.
“I thought I’d drop this off as a thank you for babysitting me yesterday and I had a feeling that you’d need it”, he said before giving me one of his dazzling smiles. He looked good in a black t shirt and some jeans, his perfectly styled hair in contrast to the messy bun currently on top of my head. That is if the rat’s nest could even still be called a bun.
“Vince Dunn you just keep on surprising me”, I responded with a breathless laugh, not really knowing what else to say at the sweet gesture. What do you say to a good-looking hockey player that not only asks you to spend time with him three times but also takes the time out of his day for this?
Well, besides thanks, obviously.
Vince handed me one of the cups and I took a sip before looking up at him in surprise.
“How do you know the way I like my coffee?”
Instead of answering, he pointed at something behind me and I turned around to see the coffee order list I’d started a while ago in case someone decided to grab some for everyone, my name on top of the sheet.
“I noticed it yesterday in passing, I swear I’m not a stalker or anything.” He blushed at this and it was so cute and unlike his otherwise smooth self that I couldn’t just let him off the hook.
“You know, that’s exactly what a stalker would say”, I responded with a sly smile and while his face turned even more red he burst out laughing. By now we had the attention of every nurse close by and I was pretty sure that all of them were eavesdropping but who could blame them, I’d do the exact same thing. People here lived for the drama, kind of a given with how much time we spent in here because it didn’t really leave much space for a life outside of these halls. Especially if said drama involved a very hot hockey player.
“I’m changing the topic now before I embarrass myself in front of you even further just so you know. I did actually come here for one more thing,” he trailed off before bending down to pick up a bag that I hadn’t noticed before, too distracted by the guy in front of me. “I brought this for Lucas so he has something to show his friends once he gets back on the ice.” He pulled out a Blues’ jersey and turned it around so I could see that it was one of his, complete with a signature and a small message.
Lucas had been an avid hockey player himself up until his kidneys basically decided that they didn’t want to work anymore a while ago. Things had gotten so bad that he had to permanently stay in intensive care with us until after months of dragging people in here to get tested they finally found a donor in a family friend last week. At least his surgery had gone well and while I’d miss having him around, I was glad that he’d finally get discharged to recover at home later today.
I took another sip of the coffee before getting up and walking next to Vince to Lucas’ room. Lucas greeted me with a smile, which only grew after he saw who was following me into the room. Despite having struggled for so long he had always been in a good mood, even when he had to celebrate his fifteenth birthday in the hospital a few weeks ago.
“Look at you, it’s your last day in here and things just keep on getting better.” Vince and Lucas did the handshake they’d come up with yesterday, something that was absolutely necessary as a hockey player or so I’d been told.
Lucas had grown up in Chicago and he’d seen Vince play for the team there but had only really started paying attention after the apparently best fight ever Vince had gotten into at one of the games. Obviously not my words. The connection between the two of them had been instant and all the hockey talk had my head spinning more than during the first few weeks of nursing school so I made a quick exit, leaving them to it.
“I bet every nurse wishes they could trade spots with you right now, me included by the way”, Rachel, my partner in crime since day one of our college classes together, said as soon as I returned to my spot at the station.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about”, I responded, acting clueless. With a raised brow she reached for my coffee cup, spinning it around to reveal a small note written on the side of it that I hadn’t even noticed before.
“You sure about that? This fine specimen of a hockey player just gave you his number and you still act like there’s nothing going on? Besides, everyone saw you two getting all chummy yesterday.”
I snatched the cup out of her hands, quickly checking if the coast was clear before pulling out my phone to add his number to my contacts while keeping my head down so I wouldn’t have to look her in the eyes.
“Oh wipe that shit-eating grin off your face. All I get is annoying parents and you get hot dads and famous athletes hitting on you out left and right. Like leave some for the rest of us girl, it’s not fair.”
-
Even though I’d shot Vince a quick text so he could have my number as well, I never really expected anything more than his response that he’d saved it.
To say I was surprised when he texted me the following week was definitely an understatement. It wasn’t a booty call either, no, he’d texted me in the middle of the day asking if I was working days or nights this week.
Me: days as usual but I’m actually on-call today, got luckyy
Dunner: so you’re home right now?
Okay so perhaps this was a booty call after all. Not that I particularly minded.
While his first response had been pretty fast he took a little longer to answer after I told him that I was home indeed. Laying on the couch in an oversized shirt and yoga pants rewatching some Grey’s Anatomy on to be exactly. Almost the same as working. The rainy weather set the perfect mood for a lazy day in though so I hadn’t moved from my spot ever since returning from the gym this morning.
Dunner: this Chinese place near me has a special two for one offer today and I wanted to bring you some to work
I still wasn’t sure if this was him flirting but I’d also never had somebody I’d only met a week ago offer to bring me food to the hospital so he had to be, right? I sent a screenshot of the message to Rachel but I knew that I couldn’t count on her responding to it anytime soon, seeing as she was actually at work right now. I decided to be forward, telling him that I wouldn’t complain about some good food either way.
Inviting someone who was basically a stranger over to your apartment generally wasn’t exactly the best idea, but I counted on the impression I had of him so far and the reputation he surely had to uphold as a NHL player. Besides, we had lots of medical equipment scattered around the apartment so surely I’d find a syringe or something to defend myself if needed.
Dunner: I’ll be over in 30 so try not to get called in before then  
True to his word the bell didn’t ring much later. I’d debated making an effort and changing but I wasn’t about to wear jeans or a skirt to hang out so that didn’t leave many options. Brushing your hair wasn’t nothing either so that counted in my opinion.
Vince had gone through the same train of thought as well apparently because he looked super cozy in some sweatpants and a hoodie that had gotten slightly wet, presumably from his walk from his car to the building as our parking situation was really shitty. He stepped inside and reached up to run his hand through his damp hair before shaking his head, making little droplets of water fly in every direction.
“This is why they don’t allow dogs in here”, I laughed, gesturing to my shirt that now looked like an abstract splash painting.
“Let me make it up to you with some of the best food you’ve ever had because I brought lots” was his response as he lifted the bag of take out while slipping off his shoes by the door, hair now sticking in all directions.
“Alright Dunner, show me what you got”, I said with a wink over my shoulder as I made my way into the kitchen, continuing my bold streak from earlier. I had also learned by now that nicknames were even more important than handshakes as a hockey player. I was pretty sure I’d heard him mumble something along the line of ‘Gladly’ but I was already too far ahead of him to be absolutely certain.
“You’re watching Grey’s Anatomy? Isn’t it like crazy inaccurate?”, he asked with a look at the TV in the living room as I hadn’t bothered to pause the episode.
“Yeah of course it is but I still like it somehow. It’s like the hospital equivalent of bad trash TV shows so it’s kind of my guilty pleasure.”
“Okay give me a quick summary of what I need to know for this episode so we can watch it while we eat.”
I looked at him like he was crazy but he urged me on, looking up at me expectantly from where he’d sat down on the couch. Eventually I gave in, trying to keep explanations as short as possible but even then it took me quite a while to get through, yet Vince never once looked like he was bored. He didn’t lose his interest in it after that either, only looking away from the screen to decide what he was going to eat next, all of the choices delicious just like he promised.
Stuffed like a turkey on Thanksgiving the both of us stayed unmoved on the couch watching episode after episode. Somehow my legs had ended up on his lap and his hands were resting on my knees, drawing slow circles as we made eye contact from time to time. Every few minutes his hand would inch up a little and with him biting his lip as he did it there was no way I would stop him, any doubts about his intentions long gone by now. I couldn’t stop the smile spreading on my lips as his hand finally reached the top of my thigh, softly kneading the sensitive part on the inside. If I was into hand porn, I would have orgasmed already at the sight of his hands wrapped around my thigh.
“What are you grinning about?”, Vince asked with an easy smile himself, looking at me in a way that told me that Meredith had long lost his attention.
“Just waiting for you to finally make a move.”
“I was trying to be somewhat of a gentlemen but I really can’t help myself with you wearing those pants..”
“Well you seem to be awful at it so don’t be one then”, I teased back feeling confident yet again.
In a flash he had somehow - I’ll probably keep wondering about the details for the rest of my life - managed to lift me up enough to shift me so I was straddling his lap, now turned on by his manhandling and the way he was currently looking up at me. For a second both of us stared at each other, trying to figure out if this was really going to happen. Vince lifted his hand from my hip to my face, slowly pulling me down towards him.
Our lips didn’t even get the chance to connect before my phone started ringing.
I jumped up from his lap, immediately recognizing the ringtone I had set for all work calls and almost kneeing him in the crown jewels in the process. One look at my screen told me that it was an emergency which prompted me to run into my room cursing. I quickly pulled on the pair of scrubs I’d laid out in the morning, one hand still pulling the top down while the other was trying to attach my badge properly by the time I made it back into the living room. Vince hadn’t even moved from the couch yet, eyes wide and legs still comfortably spread apart, a sight that made me want to climb back on top of him but unfortunately I couldn’t do that.
“I’m so sorry but I gotta go, you don’t need to rush though. Feel free to keep on watching if you want but please don’t rob us and make sure the door is closed if you decide to leave after all, it locks automatically. The food was delicious thank you very much and bye!”
I barely heard him saying bye as well before I was already through the door, not really looking forward to spending the next few hours in the chaos that usually came with emergency calls. Especially after how much I’d enjoyed spending time with Vince and how much I wished that we would’ve just skipped all of the testing-the-waters stuff and would’ve just went at it like madmen.
-
The weekend couldn’t arrive fast enough and by the time it was Saturday I was ready to abandon all of my plans so I could sleep the rest of the day. I’d gotten in late last night after working overtime and I probably would have stayed in bed till noon if it wasn’t for Rachel and Mariah bursting into my room at nine in the morning. At least they didn’t wake me at the crack of dawn and the cake they were carrying to my bed looked pretty delicious as well.
“Look at you, another year older and yet still sexy as fuck”, Rachel exclaimed as she hopped onto the bed beside me after they’d finished their horrible rendition of Happy Birthday. Mariah settled on the other side of me and I guess my friends knew me well enough because we didn’t move from that position except to grab some more food and booze until it was time to get ready for tonight. Best roommates ever.
“You need to look extra hot tonight, I want Vince to lose his shit when he sees you.”
Ever since I’d sent the screenshot to Rachel and told her about the couch situation, she had been on my back about the thing. Something about me needing to bag rich hot athletes for her sake. I didn’t even argue with her anymore, only rolling my eyes in sync with Mariah whenever she brought it up.
To my surprise Vince hadn’t been deterred by my hasty exit a few days ago, something that had definitely surprised me. It wasn’t the first time that my job had cockblocked me and it definitely won’t be the last and I’d met more than my fair share of guys who were absolutely not into that at all. The fascination with nurses died really fast once people realized how much time we spent on the job.
Vince and I had texted constantly since he spent the day with me and he had somehow managed to make casual conversation with a flirty undertone the entire time. We’d already established that neither of us was looking for anything serious right now but I had decided that I would definitely not say no to some fun with him.
Some birthday sex would be great for starters. I let Rachel curl my hair while I focused on perfecting my make up because I wanted to look good tonight, not just for Vince but also because by next weekend I’d already be packed so this was really my last big hurrah before moving back home.
The thing about spending most of my days make up free in sports bras, comfortable panties and running shoes was that if I did bother to go out, I put in a lot of effort. I was determined to turn heads tonight so I pulled on a black lace bodysuit that practically presented my boobs on a silver tray, a pair of jeans that made my ass look spectacular and some black stilettos that I hoped wouldn’t kill my feet in a few hours. I had to go braless under the bodysuit, the mesh part on the back making that very obvious and I had a feeling that Vince wouldn’t exactly mind either.
“Girl I’d totally bang you because you look so hot but that outfit shows off everything that’s wrong with you”, Rachel said as we all examined ourselves one last time in front of the full-length mirror in my room and took pictures. I shot her a confused look.
“Wait what’s wrong with me?”
“Well for one your ass looks bangin and so do your boobs and I’m pretty sure that I could tell if you had a dick wearing that and people with dicks are my type soooo..”, she trailed off and both Mariah and I turned towards her with an incredulous look before bursting out laughing, all the day drinking taking its toll already. It wasn’t exactly new for Rachel to stop making any sense once she had some alcohol in her but it was still just as entertaining every single time.
���I can’t believe you’re complaining about her not having a dick right now”, Mariah sighed and I couldn’t stop giggling at my idiotic friends.
“I’m not complaining! I’m just saying that I need a dick to-“
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Just – just for once in your life be at least somewhat normal please”, Mariah interrupted her exasperated and the both of them continuing to bicker still had me laughing by the time we climbed into the back of our Uber.
We were the last to arrive of course, because Rachel had insisted on us being fashionably late so by the time we made it inside the bar I could already spot my friends sitting in the back. She had also insisted on me wearing a stupid Birthday Girl sash, reminding me how many free drinks it would get me, but I drew the line at the tiara she had pulled out of her purse as well. I was too old for the full 21st birthday look after all.
After I was hugged by everyone and had received all of the birthday wishes and presents I realized that Vince wasn’t among the group, which was weird because we’d been texting all day and he had asked to confirm the time and place again just this morning.
It was as if my thought made him appear because soon I felt two hands gently grab my waist while his cologne infiltrated my senses. He spun me around and the force of the move had me reach out to rest my hands on his shoulders so I wouldn’t fall over. I knew he had done that on purpose.
We were standing so close that we would have definitely gotten in trouble if this were a middle school dance and the way he looked down at me right now made me curse everything that came to my mind because I just wanted to drag him to the nearest bathroom so he could bend me over the counter but of course that wouldn’t be acceptable in front of all my friends.
“Why didn’t you tell me that today is your birthday? Now I’m going to have to make up for the fact that I didn’t get you a present.”
I had a feeling that I wouldn’t mind whatever this making up entailed, if the way he tightened his grip while looking at me as if he was thinking about bathroom counters as well was any indicator.
“Because you don’t just tell people that it’s your birthday, that’s weird.” He pulled me even tighter then, wrapping his arms around me and wishing me a happy birthday after giving me a kiss on the cheek that gave me goosebumps. Before he had the chance to pull away however, I leaned up on my tippy toes because even with heels he was still taller than me and whispered “I can’t wait for the making up for it part though” in his ear.
He groaned in response and he dropped his hands to give my hips a squeeze before reluctantly letting go of me. Only now did I spot the two guys behind him that were all watching us with amused expressions, which had to be the friends he said he’d bring. Introductions were quick and I didn’t even bother to introduce everyone to Vince and his gang because the group was so big that the three of them wouldn’t be able to remember many names either way.
We settled into one of the booths and Rachel practically pushed me into the seat next to Vince, not that I minded of course. Conversation flowed easily, as did the drinks, and soon I found myself climbing out of the booth because I had just about consumed my body weight in liquid and desperately needed to go to the bathroom for something that unfortunately wasn’t sex. Walking over I could feel a slight buzz already but not to the extent that would make me stumble in my heels, perfect for a night out.
By the time Mariah and I returned I could tell that another one of Rachel’s plans was in action because now there was one more person sitting at our table, meaning there wasn’t enough space left for both Mariah and I. I was about to move to sit with some other friends in the booth next to ours when Vince, who was conveniently seated at the edge of our booth, told me to sit on his lap and that was an offer I would never turn down.
He grabbed my hips to pull me closer and onto his lap as he said: “Don’t worry I won’t bite.”
I couldn’t resist messing with him though, so I purposefully shifted closer to his crotch and leaned towards him so only he could hear me as I whispered: “What if I want you to though?” I could tell he was trying to suppress a groan and he gripped me even tighter, pulling me back into him.
Poor Vince, his balls were going to be the same color as a Blues jersey soon enough.
Unfortunately I couldn’t elaborate to make the situation even worse for him because I was being pulled into the conversation at the table. I could feel him growing hard underneath my ass though and the fact that I was able to rile him up so easily really did wonders for my self-confidence..
After I could tell that he had calmed down again I decided to put him out of his misery. Well, kind of. Me leaning across one of the pool tables as I took my shot gave him a perfect view of my cleavage or of me bending over after all, depending on where he stood.
“Are you always this bad?”, I asked after he missed yet another shot.
“No, usually I’m average at least but I guess I’m a little bit distracted right now.” He didn’t even try to hide him staring at my boobs as I took my turn. We’d both long dropped any pretense about where this was headed. After I made my shot I walked around the table to get a better angle for the next one, accidentally brushing up against Vince who now had a perfect view of my ass.
“I hope you’re only average at pool and not at anything else”, I teased him with a look over my shoulder after watching the ball roll into the hole the way I’d planned before straightening up again.
“Let me take you home so my neighbors can confirm me being anything but average”, he responded, his voice deep as he moved next to me, one of his big hands resting on my lower back to play with the fabric there, the heat of his hands practically burning my skin as I looked up at him.
Our intense eye contact was interrupted by one of the waitresses who walked up to the pool table sheepishly with a drink on her tray.
“Hey, that guy over there sent you this and I’m supposed to tell you to come over to him so you don’t have to, uh, keep playing with a - um - loser. His words not mine, sorry.” She pointed to a guy a few tables over who was decently good looking but radiated Asshole Energy off of him, his incredibly rude move not really helping either. Even if it wasn’t for Vince standing next to me I wouldn’t have touched him with a ten foot pole.
Vince had tensed up at the words and I watched him ball his hands into his fists, every muscle in his body tightening with anger. I had no doubt that because of his hockey experience he could hold his own in a fight but it wasn’t something I needed tonight. I thanked the waitress before setting the drink down and making a show of turning towards Vince, one hand trailing up from his biceps to the back of his head so I could interrupt the stare off he was currently having with the other guy.
“Don’t worry, I’m flattered that I seem to be able to distract you so much. To be honest I can’t really concentrate either because now I really want you to make me scream so loud that your neighbors file noise complaints.” Vince choked slightly and then reached for the drink that was sitting next to me, taking three big gulps while looking at me, his eyes dark.
He then grabbed my hand and I didn’t miss the smug look he threw at the other guy over my shoulder before pulling me towards the backdoor of the bar, the pool game abandoned without a second thought. The air outside had cooled down a bit by now but I didn’t even get the chance to acknowledge that because Vince had me pushed against the wall in a second, one hand resting next to my head while the other reached up to cup my face, dropping his head for a kiss.
All this teasing had finally led to this.
It was rough and yet sensual at the same time, his lips demanding and it didn’t take long until his tongue licked along my bottom lip, asking for entrance. He then deepened the kiss even further and I reached up to bury my hands in his stupidly perfect and soft hair, eliciting a throaty groan. When he pushed one of his legs in between mine I couldn’t help the moan that escaped me in turn at the delicious friction, followed by yet another one as he dropped his head to suck along my neck. I could feel how hard he was and it turned me on beyond imagination.
The thought that I would probably let him fuck me in this alley right now brought me back down to earth because this was not how I envisioned my night going.
“Vince, hold up”, I murmured and as soon as my words registered with him he pulled away, both of us panting.
“What’s wrong?”
I laughed at his expression, he looked at me as if he was truly worried that he’d overstepped a boundary. As if I hadn’t thrown hints left and right for the last couple of days. His swollen lips made it hard to concentrate because I just wanted to sink my teeth into them until he groaned again the way he had only seconds ago and I silently cursed his stupid perfect lips. I wondered what damage they could do.
“Nothing’s wrong, nothing at all. I just wanted to say let’s go back inside for like another hour or so and then we can take off.” The smile that quickly spread on his face made it obvious that he was going to say something not-PG-13 before he opened his mouth again to ask:
“Do you think your friends would mind if I dragged you home right this second?”
I had to laugh at that but it quickly died in my throat as he moved his hands to my hips to pull me close again before crashing his lips back onto mine. The going back to the others part would apparently be slightly delayed but with the way his lips and body moved against mine right now I would probably agree to anything if it meant getting to stay right in this position a bit longer.
This time it was less rushed and frantic and instead he took his time to explore every inch of my mouth while his hands wandered my body. Mine were roaming as well, from the neck down his muscular shoulders around to the front before finally creeping up his back below his shirt. I enjoyed the way I could feel his muscles tense under my touch but eventually we had to pull away from each other. We’d spent way too much time out here as it is.
“Let’s go back inside, the faster we get back the sooner we can leave and besides they’re probably wondering what we’re doing out here so long.”
The smug looks we received once we made our way back to the tables after I fixed my hair and make up and Vince did whatever he had to do to conceal his massive hard on made it clear that everyone had a good idea of what had gone on outside though. I’m pretty sure Rachel would have high fived me if it weren’t for the people sitting between us.
I sat on Vince’s lap again and this time it was torture for the both of us to wait until it was finally an acceptable time to make a getaway. I let Rachel take all the presents for me and she made Vince give her his address and phone number before she let him pull me into the back of an Uber.
I was pressed against him for the entire ride, his hand resting way higher on my leg than technically publicly acceptable. With every turn or bump in the road he accidentally brushed my core and at more than one point I had to hide my face in his broad chest so the driver wouldn’t hear the soft moans that couldn’t be stopped. I could tell that he was trying his best not to get too handsy as not to cause a scene but once we were alone in the elevator of his building all bets were off.
He walked me back against the doors, pushing one of his legs in between my own again and kissed me with a force that made me glad that I had tons of metal behind me as leverage to push back. He only pulled away once the little ‘ding’ could be heard and even then he only held off until he had me inside his apartment, barely waiting a second before he shrugged off his jacket, quickly moving onto mine.
Somehow we managed to make it onto the couch without breaking apart our kiss and I barely had time to admire his floor to ceiling windows before he pulled me close until I was straddling his lap. His lips were working on my neck again and I reminded him to not leave any marks there because I had to work on Monday morning, which only prompted him to move down lower, sucking at the skin right above the lace of my bodysuit.
“No one will see those then”, he murmured against my breasts and I moaned as he reached up to palm them through the material. By the time he was done I had several purple marks littering my cleavage and I really needed to see more of him so I motioned for him to take his shirt off, watching in awe as he reached back to pull it over his head in the perfect way only guys managed to.
His body could only be described as a work of art and I could tell that he worked really hard for it as I traced the outline of his abs, muscles contracting and goosebumps rising at my touch. The city lights made for the perfect lighting and the way his skin glowed in their reflection belonged in a museum if ever captured.
Vince reached for the button of my jeans and looked at me as if to ask if I was okay with that. I nodded before standing up, trying to get out of my jeans and heels in a quick but still somewhat sexy motion but I probably succeeded only halfway. He didn’t seem deterred by my struggle at all, the hungry look in his eyes never once vanishing.
As soon as I stood upright again Vince reached up to trace the lace embellishments, slowly moving his hands down lower towards where I really wanted them. Considering the fact that the bodysuit had already been pretty revealing in itself there wasn’t really much ‘new’ skin to see so far but he still looked at me with an intensity that almost made me shiver.
He reached to pull me down on him again but instead I surprised him by sinking down to my knees in front of him, his breath audibly hitching in his throat. For a second he was silent but as soon as I poked my tongue out to trace the ‘V’ on his lower stomach he let out a low moan, throwing his head back.
“Impatient much?”, I teased him, pleasantly surprised at my ability to make him almost lose his shit without even really doing anything.
“You have no idea. I’ve thought about this for days”, he admitted and I only smiled in return, moving to pull his jeans down along with his boxers without revealing that I had done the same. He got up to step out of both while I was focused on watching his dick bounce with the movement, amazed at the size of it.
As soon as he made himself comfortable again I grabbed the base with one hand while resting the other one on his thigh as I moved to lick the drops of precum that adorned the tip. When my tongue made contact he moved one of his hands into my hair, holding it back so he could get a better view.
“Fuck, you look so good like this”, he cursed when I finally wrapped my lips around him, taking the head into my mouth while swirling my tongue around him and taking him a bit further. I removed my lips and I could tell he was about to protest but any words died in his mouth when I started sucking his balls, reaching up to pump his length that was already slick from my spit with my hand.
He seemed to find his voice again once I licked up the underside of his dick but it was only a string of curses that turned into moans when I took him into my mouth as far as I could, my nose touching his pelvic bone. I relaxed my throat and swallowed around him, my name falling from his lips again and again as I reached up to massage his balls at the same time. I looked up to see him watching me with his pupils blown, hair sticking in all directions from running his hands through it so many times and his mouth slightly open. His arms were spread out beside him on the back of the couch and I wanted to take a picture to commemorate the moment, wanting to remember this forever. He had definitely never looked better and no one could convince me otherwise.
The hand in my hair helped me set a rhythm as I bobbed my head while licking around him and Vince was a moaning and cursing mess above me. It didn’t take long before he quite literally pulled me off him, running his hand across his face and taking a few calming breaths.
“You’re incredible but I don’t want to cum yet”, he finally murmured when he helped me back up and I wasn’t sure if he was only complimenting my blowjob-skills or more but the way he was looking at me right now made any thought besides wanting him inside me disappear.
“Vince I need you”, I practically begged and he quickly nodded before standing up with me still in his lap, reaching out to grab the back of my thighs to prevent me from slipping down. He somehow managed to walk up the stairs with me still wrapped around him while I trailed kisses along his collar bones and it was probably the hottest non-sexual thing I’d ever experienced with a guy.
He turned on a soft light once inside his room and while I would have loved to have a look around I was pretty distracted by the way he literally threw me on the bed before crawling on top of me, my legs falling apart to make space for him as if it was the most natural thing on earth.
Vince kissed down my breasts before suddenly stopping somewhere above my belly button.
“Okay I have to admit I’m a bit lost here, as hot as you look in it how the fuck do I get this thing off?” I probably shouldn’t laugh in such a somewhat serious situation but his helpless expression did nothing to stop the giggles that escaped my mouth. He was smiling as well and I was glad that we could laugh about the slight hiccup without it turning awkward.
I quickly reached down to snap open the buttons before sitting up and pulling the piece of lace over my head, discarding it in some corner of his room now completely naked.
“Much better”, he murmured, one of his hands reaching out to grab a hold of my boobs while the other one wrapped around my back, lowering us back onto the mattress. Eventually he trailed his kisses over the part of my skin that was marked up by him until he sucked one of my nipples into his mouth, his hand taking care of the other one.
Slowly but surely he kissed his way down my body, skipping over the part where I needed him most to suck along the inside of my thighs. The sensation rushed through me, my core already throbbing from days of built up expectations and I let out a whine. I was tempted to try and close my legs so I could at least get some kind of friction but his shoulders between them made that impossible.
“Patience baby, don’t you know that good things come to those who wait?”, he murmured and I shuddered at the feeling of his breath fanning across my heat. I didn’t even have the time to think about the fact that he had just called me baby or that I was actually a firm believer in good things happening to those who worked for them because he reached down to drag one of his fingers through my folds and all thoughts left my body.
“Shit, you’re so wet already”, he said softly but I was unable to give him any response besides a frantic nod and another desperate whine.
I’d fantasized about this for the last couple of days of course but nothing came close to the reality of one of his thick fingers dipping into my core. He teased my entrance for a bit, only pushing inside to his first knuckle but then I whined again and he pushed it in as far as he could. I was so lost in the feeling that I hadn’t even noticed him moving back up my body until he littered the valley between my breasts with heated kisses.
“So tight. I can’t wait to feel you around my cock.”
As if the words he’d moaned into my ear weren’t already enough to make any coherent thoughts disappear, he added a second finger and I arched my back into him, the change of angle just right in a way that had me gripping the sheets so tightly that my knuckles turned white. He reached dropped down to tease my nipples, sucking and licking them expertly while his hand thrust up into me.
My moans were already filling the room but then he started circling my clit with his thumb and I knew that I wouldn’t last much longer, the anticipation and desperation definitely helping to speed things along. He looked up at me to watch my reactions and the sight of him with his mouth latched onto my breast was almost enough to send me over the edge by itself.
“I’m so close Vince, please don’t stop”, I begged and this seemed to spur him on further, his movements turning even more eager as he continued to place sloppy kisses along my skin. It was the combination of everything he was doing to me that finally brought me over the edge, the release so sweet after needing it for so long.
He made sure to extend my orgasm as long as possible, only pulling his hand away after I whimpered slightly, the stimulation a bit much now. His softly kissed his way back down and along my thighs now and I could tell that he wasn’t quite done with me yet.
“How’s the birthday girl feeling right now?”, he asked with a teasing smile and normally I probably would have smacked him for this but right now I would tolerate it because I was still in my blissful post-orgasmic state.
“Amazing so far, could do better though.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Mhm, I’m pretty sure I was promised some making up for the lack of a present and I don’t think we’ve reached that point yet.”
“Well excuse me then while I go back to work.” And with that he flattened his tongue and boldly licked one long stripe across my slit.
He started out slowly and I was glad because I was still a bit sensitive from my last orgasm, lapping at my entrance and pushing his tongue inside of me, making me gasp. It didn’t take long however until he grabbed my hips to pull me closer and onto his mouth, pushing my legs up to expose me even further to him and ultimately giving him better access.
When he sucked my clit into his mouth I couldn’t help but arch my back off the mattress again, burying my hands in his hair as he reached up to hold me still. This guy’s lips weren’t just pretty, they were apparently amazingly talented as well.
He replaced his tongue with one of his thick fingers, slowly pushing in and soon his name fell off my lips in a religious chant as he added yet another one, curling them upwards for maximum pleasure. I could feel my high coming from a mile away and Vince apparently must have too by the way I was grinding myself against his face because he quite literally dove back in, determined to shatter my word.
And shatter my world he did.
I was pretty sure I would have floated away as I reached my high if it wasn’t for Vince’s hand across my stomach keeping me grounded. My legs were still shaking with the aftershocks of one of the arguably - no hands down - best orgasms I’d had while getting head in my life. By the time I was finally able to open my eyes again he was wiping his face before grinning down at me.
“You look so fucked out already and we haven’t even gotten to that part yet”, he teased and I let out a chuckle before pushing at his chest. Leave it to him to make fun of me after he was the one who put me in this situation. Not that I was complaining of course.
“Don’t worry, it’s a good look on you. One that I’d definitely like to see more often.” He leaned down to nip at my neck then, his cock prodding at my thigh.
“If you keep doing that you definitely will”, I responded with an airy laugh, still kind of breathless. All talk died down after that however when he captured my lips with his again as he crawled on top of me, settling between my legs. Kissing him was definitely addicting and the fact that I could taste myself while doing so only made it ten times more hot.
Vince rolled his hips against mine, groaning into my mouth when his cock dragged against my skin while I couldn’t stop the moan escaping my lips either. Breaking the kiss he pulled back in a way that had him in a push-up position above me, giving me a moment to enjoy the view. His hair was sticking in all kinds of directions, his pupils so blown that they almost seemed black instead of the usual beautiful green and his muscles were flexing from holding the position.
“Still want to keep going?”, he asked and in my daze it took me a second to realize that this was him asking for consent. I had no doubt that he wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want him to but this, him offering to stop when he had done so much for me already while not getting off yet in return, was sweet. Especially since I had made it more than obvious that stopping was definitely not on my mind.
I moved to flip us over then, straddling his thighs and wrapping my hand around his dick, pumping him a few times and in case that wasn’t confirmation enough for him I leaned down to whisper a “definitely” in his ear.
“Condoms?”
“Top drawer on your right.”
Only because we weren’t in the middle of his huge bed was I able to reach said drawer, grabbing one of the foil packets out of the box and ripping it open with my teeth before rolling it down on him. I scooted up enough to line his cock with my entrance and while I tried to watch Vince as I sunk down on him the way my eyes fluttered shut at the sensation was out of my control.
While there had definitely been enough foreplay to make the sliding in part easy it was still quite a stretch, one so amazing however that it had the both of us moaning at the same time.
“Shit you feel incredible”, he breathed and I nodded my head in agreement, too lost in the pleasure to form any coherent sentences. Rolling my hips against him created some amazing friction that had my head spinning as I clenched my muscles, eliciting throaty groans from him.
Vince reached for my hips, gripping them tightly as he helped guide me along, my clit catching on his pelvic bone with every backward movement. “You got one more in you babe?”, he asked and to my surprise I could tell that I did. The fact that I could already feel it bubbling inside of me spoke volumes of our chemistry in bed together. This was a friends with benefits arrangement I could definitely get behind.
He sat up then, changing the angle at which his cock dragged against my walls and also making it possible for him to take one of my nipples into his mouth, gently grazing his teeth against it while tightening his grip on my hip as he thrust up into me. At this point I was a moaning mess on top of him but I honestly didn’t care. I hadn’t had sex this good in a while and the way he looked up at me in awe made it impossible to feel anything but sexy.
I didn’t even need any extra help to reach my third orgasm of the night with his name falling off my lips, the feeling so strong that my mind was absolutely blank and I saw stars dancing across the back of my eyelids as I arched into him with my eyes shut. He made sure to let me ride it out, groaning as he felt my walls tighten around him but as soon as I slumped against him he turned us around so he was on top of me, never once pulling out.
The pace at which he was chasing his own high now was relentless and hard and I would have held on for dear life if he hadn’t raised my arms to keep them above my head. One of his hands easily encased both of my wrists while he used his other to keep at least some of his weight off of me. I knew that a fourth orgasm was off the table, I was way too exhausted for that by now but he still felt amazing inside of me. I wrapped my legs around him to allow him deeper, the smack of our skin and our moans so loud that I was glad that we didn’t have any nosy roommates right next door. Those noise complaints from the neighbors I’d mentioned earlier might still roll in though.
With this pace it didn’t take long for his thrusts to lose all rhythm and I could tell that he wouldn’t last much longer. I clenched around him to bring him even closer and he groaned into the crook of my neck where he had buried his face, my name and some colorful curses falling off his lips. He readjusted his position so he could lean up enough to look at me while still holding my wrists above my head and I watched him throw his head back in pleasure as he slammed deep inside of me one last time, face contorting in pleasure as he reached his high. I could feel him pulsing inside of me and a pleasant shudder ran through me, making me sigh at the feeling. Perhaps this was my body’s way of saying girl if I could have, I would have.
He let go of my wrists then and I wrapped my arms around him as he dropped down on top of me. We both caught our breath for a few seconds which honestly wasn’t easy with the extra weight on my chest but it was a nice feeling. He had to carefully pull out and roll off of me eventually, throwing the condom next to the bed to dispose of later. For now it was nice to lay beside each other, covered in a sheen of sweat and still panting.
After finally landing back on planet earth I looked to my right at the alarm clock waiting on the nightstand, only now realizing how late it had gotten. Vince lifted his head enough to check the time as well and let out a light groan at the sight.
“You can spend the night if you want but we should definitely shower before that. Even if it wasn’t your birthday – well technically it’s not anymore – I’m not some dick that would kick you out in the middle of the night.”
I was surprised at his offer, I’d been with guys who were those dicks but I was even more surprised when he told me to pick something to sleep in from his closet before pulling on a pair of boxers and getting up to grab waters for the both of us.
I decided to postpone this until after showering, quickly making my way to his ensuite to use the toilet. I saw enough UTIs at work, I didn’t need them following me home. I was trying to wipe my make up off as best as I could with a washcloth and the face wash from his counter when he returned to his bathroom, a new toothbrush triumphantly in his hand.
“Found this in my junk drawer in the kitchen but I’ll be honest, I have no idea how it got there. The wrapping is unopened tho”, he admitted sheepishly and I laughed.
“Doesn’t matter, I’ll take it.”
Our shower was quick, both of us too exhausted for any more funny business but if my gaze had dropped from time to time appreciatively no one would ever know. He had an amazing body and I would have to be a nun not to acknowledge that.
Especially while he was naked in the shower.
I definitely wasn’t a nun.
Looking for clothes to sleep in turned out to be more difficult than I’d originally thought because of his affinity to clothes that were at least one size too big. Most of them would reach my knees in a really unflattering way and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to sleep while drowning in fabric. I tried on three, neatly putting them back afterwards and actually contemplating sleeping in only a pair of his boxers before finally finding one that didn’t make me look like a kid.
I could tell that it was an old shirt, perhaps from a previous team, worn down over time with a slightly faded print but it was comfortable and it smelled like him, even if I doubted that he had worn it anytime recently.
Vince was already tucked into bed by the time I stepped back into his bedroom, scrolling through his phone but putting it down on the nightstand once I got closer. I could see that he’d searched for a second charger so I could plug my phone in overnight as well and it was such a little gesture but yet it made me smile.
“I prefer to sleep on the right side, I hope you don’t mind”, he said as I climbed under the cover beside him. I shook my head no before responding:
“Nah, I actually like the left side better.”
“See, we’re meant to be fuck buddies.”
“I could already tell from the three orgasms but hey, if that’s what it takes for you to realize that.”
“You have a point there.”
Any other time and I certainly would’ve stayed up for a while longer so we could talk but right now I knew I wouldn’t last long. For a second I wasn’t sure how to do this, would it be weird to cuddle?
Vince made my decision easy however when he pulled me close until my back was flush against him, wrapping his arm around my waist. After our exhausting shenanigans earlier it took neither of us long to fall asleep.
The next morning I woke super early, my inner clock not allowing me to sleep past seven despite staying up late. I’d turned around in my sleep to lay on my stomach but Vince had somehow managed to keep his arm around me and get even closer.
I was slightly worried for my safety because of the fact that I had managed to sleep through a 200 pound guy basically laying on top of me but I’d slept like a baby. I could tell that Vince was still asleep by the even breaths that fanned across my neck but one part of him definitely wasn’t, poking my side. Bless the male population for their sleepy boners.
I was trying to let him sleep as long as I could, I really did, but with him so close to me and the images of last night combined with the very interesting dream I’d just woken up from burned into my memory I couldn’t help myself. I slowly turned in his arms so we were back to the position we’d fell asleep in, on our sides and pressed together spooning.
Even through my shirt I could feel his body radiating heat and if the night had been warmer it definitely would’ve been too much but right now I just wished for all barriers between our bodies to disappear.
My shifting had apparently woken Vince up successfully because he let out a throaty groan before, consciously or not, rocking against my ass and burying his face in my neck.
“Morning”, he said and I’m not gonna lie his husky morning voice did things to me that didn’t exactly help my situation.
“Morning, how’d you sleep?”, I asked, turning my head slightly so I wasn’t having this conversation with his incredibly comfortable pillow.
“Could’ve been longer but I don’t mind. Now that I’m up however..”, he trailed off, lightly biting my neck and moving his hand from my waist to grab my boob, rocking into me again, this time definitely on purpose.
This was definitely a friends with benefits situation I could get behind.
-
Somehow Vince managed to weasel his way into my life after that. He’d come over after I finished a shift at the hospital, spend the night and leave me incredibly satisfied the next morning when both of us went our separate ways again. Our time with each other was pretty short, only a week, but somehow I’d had more sex in that one week than in the last few months combined.
My last shift at the hospital on Saturday was, for a lack of better words, sad as fuck. So many people came up to me, telling me how much they would miss me and what a great addition I had been over the past year. When they brought a cake into the break room with a sweet message written on top of it I couldn’t help the tears that welled up. I could see Rachel subtly wipe at her eyes as well and I hugged her tightly.
“Remember our first day of classes? Oh how things have changed since then”, she muttered against me and I nodded. One thing that hadn’t changed however was our friendship. She was the reason I had come to Toronto, where she had grown up but it had been five years since I left my home to go to college and I knew that it was time to go back to my family and childhood friends.
“Don’t think you’ll be getting rid of me this soon, I’ll call you all the time and with there only being a one hour time difference between Toronto and St. Louis you have no excuse to avoid me.”
“As if I could ever avoid you, you little shit. But if your hometown insists on having you back I’ll allow it, I guess.” Her insulting me told me that she was okay again so I let go of her, the both of us still sniffling a bit as we each grabbed a piece of the cake.
When I finally made my ay back home that night Vince was already there. Mariah had probably let him in. There’s been some raised eyebrows at first but after seeing him here every day neither of my roommates was surprised when he knocked at our apartment door. Somehow he seemed to sense that I wasn’t in a talking mood right now, especially about having to say goodbye to the place that had been my home for the past year.
I was excited to see my family and friends in St. Louis again, don’t get me wrong, but goodbyes were never easy.
He greeted me with one of his comforting hugs that I’d already grown accustomed to before dropping his head to press a soft kiss on the top of my head before pulling me to the bathroom.
My shampoo and other toiletries were some of the last few things that hadn’t been stuffed in boxes and duffel bags yet and the sight made tears well up in my eyes.
“It’s okay, you know. I don’t like leaving here either”, he murmured in my ear as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, moving us so we both got hit by the stream of hot water. I wanted to forget everything but the feel of his naked body pressed against me but right now I knew I was too in my head to actually be able to enjoy it. Later maybe.
“But you get to come back every summer for a couple of months. I don’t know how long it’ll take until I can visit everyone again and even then it’ll probably only be for a few days.”
“That’s true. But your friends can also visit you. And in a few weeks I’ll be down as well and then you’ll be so annoyed by me constantly bugging you that you won’t be able to miss your friends here anymore.” My sniffle turned into a laugh at his words and I almost swallowed a big gulp of water in that moment, making both of us break into fits of laughter.
I was glad I’d have him with me again in a few weeks. Hopefully at least. We’d talked about our situation and I told Vince to hit me up again once he’d made it to St. Louis too in a few weeks and while he said he would, I knew that there was the possibility that he might not. I didn’t have the opportunity to dwell on the thought too long though because he’d managed to distract me yet again when he placed searing hot kisses along my shoulder.
If he hadn’t managed to get me out of my shell back in the hospital I never would’ve ended up with him in the shower right now. Or bent over the mattress a few minutes later.
Vince Dunn, the arrogant professional athlete, had turned out to be nothing like I’d expected and I had never been more happy to be wrong.
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sweets-r-cool · 4 years
Text
Sleepless pt. 2 (Bakugo x reader)
So- it seemed like everyone rlly liked part one- so thank you for that... anyways- I hope this lives up to your expectations but idk just
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Part one
One week. One whole ass week of (7) full days.
That was the amount of time you spent ignoring- completely avoiding- Bakugo Katsuki. 
According to him, you were a dumbass. However, you weren’t so stupid as to the fact the last comment he made before he left the gym that night (morning?) was basically a weird, sort of twisted not really but also really a confession. 
The girl he was talking about was apparently a dumbass, you were his dumbass. Your face flushed at the thought.
You kind of hated that it did though. Considering, believing you were the girl he liked also meant admitting you were a dumbass. You kind of were- but that didn’t mean you were willing to acknowledge it.
That was irrelevant. 
Bakugo Katsuki liked you. The angry hedgehog of Class 1-A, who called anyone he didn’t call an insulting nickname an extra, had feelings for you. It was kind of weird. Such an angry existence feeling more than the willingness to deal with you. It made you nauseous, but in the excited sort of way. As well as the super embarrassed sort of way.
Hence why you literally ran an extra lap in training when you noticed the ash blond boy walking over to you. You literally ran away from him. You didn’t even like running.
It was also why you were currently in the same gym room the whole situation rooted from. Pounding your fists against the very same punching bag Bakugo had been that night.
At this rate, it would be like a reverse deja vu situation. It was currently 3:18 AM. Also, you were already in the gym; however, you really hoped it wouldn’t actually be reverse deja vu, because that would mean Bakugo would come to you, and as mentioned before, you were avoiding him.
You didn’t really have a good reason for avoiding him. It was just sort one of those situations you didn’t want to be awkward, but the problem is you knew you’d make it awkward somehow. You and your high on sleep deprivation mind. 
You were still unable to sleep,and it was still because of Bakugo. 
Only now, it was because you couldn’t help the giddy feeling in your heart, stomach, cheeks, and overall existence. It made you roll around in bed smiling and kicking your legs until the adrenaline wore off or until you simply fell off your bed with a squawk from your mouth and a thud from your body, earning an “Are u okay?” text from whoever heard your antics.
You eventually took a small break from punching your feelings away to drink some water. When you did, your phone buzzed with a notification from Instagram.
That was odd. Kirishima wasn’t usually awake at this time. 
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You gulped, praying to whatever deity up there that Bakugo wouldn’t be able to guess your whereabouts.
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You were glad Kirishima had your back. Even if it did sort of intervene in his role as wing man, you didn’t feel like talking to Bakugo yet. Kirishima was a real one. You’d probably just find a way to yeet yourself into oblivion before that. Even if that wasn’t a very realistic choice.
You stretched your back and yawned. You should be asleep by now, but whatever. Bakugo and Kirishima were awake for what ever reason, though Kirishima seemed like he was woken up by Bakugo. In his words, most likely a ‘so not manly’ move on Bakugo’s part. If a bro is able to enjoy sleep, you should let them. Then again, suffering with sleep deprivation together was always fun. 
You picked up your stuff, deciding that should be it for tonight. You were kind of sore already from earlier today’s training and so adding anymore than this would only make you more sore, which wasn’t ideal.
You walked to the door, casually swinging it open. 
You nearly ran into someone’s chest due to the fact it was clad in a black tanktop which almost blended in with the darkness of the hallway. Luckily, you caught sight of the fair skin attached to the ash blond locks...
What-
Suddenly you felt the color leave your face as your eyes met with deep crimson ones, piercing in the best way possible as always.
Within what felt like the millisecond, your hand reached for the door knob, pulling it towards you with the purpose of slamming it. Only when Bakugo caught hold of it, successfully stopping you, did you decide this was the end. 
You turned around, maybe you could get in a few more good punches to that poor punching bag before you died of embarrassment. You felt a cold sweat replace the natural one, caused by working out and not your emotional state.
How could Kirishima betray you?!
You pulled out your phone.
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 Maybe you should tattoo ‘Lysol’ on his forehead instead of Kaminari’s, because that was what he deserved like the bacteria he was. Friendship was fragile as glass, there was no coming back from this for him. He probably just told Bakugo so he could go back to sleep without having to deal with your bullshit. Kirishima was fake. So fake.
That sucked for Kirishima, because now you were going to make sure he felt your pain. 
You meant it. You were coming for his kneecaps- 
“Hey, Dumbass,” Bakugo’s raspy voice stopped you in your tracks as he walked through the doorway. You turned around with a sheepish frown, “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”
You breathed out harshly, “Narnia?” That worked. In your brain, of course. You were gonna die. Good going, you. 
Bakugo deadpanned at your idiotic answer. His look read, “What the fuck?”
You really couldn’t blame him.
Where was the portal to the void when you needed it?
You straightened, opting to find a way out of this. “Ya’ know what, Bakugo? I just realized, Narnia is that way, since- ya’know, there aren’t any closets here for me to hide in. I mean,” you cleared you throat, “use as a portal.” 
You began to swiftly walk with purpose. Purpose to escape and avoid this awkward interaction. You barely made passed him, the door was so close when he grabbed your wrist, not intending to let go.
You head snapped to his gaze, then down to your wrist and his hand. You laughed, the panic underlying in it clear. “Hey, Bakugo. Just thought I’d let you know, I spilled dumb bitch juice all over me, so you might wanna let go before it spreads-” 
“Shut the fuck up and talk to me,” Bakugo asserted. 
You sighed, standing up normally instead of the previous ready-to-run pose you were in just the second before. “T-talk about what,” you asked coyly.
You could practically see the angry tics for on Bakugo’s temple as his eyebrow twitched. At the same time, his face was dusted with a light blush, which only got your face to turn a deeper, much darker red. Bakugo cupped your cheeks, you flinched and your heart started beating faster.
However, you felt slightly relaxed and also disappointed when all he did was squeeze your cheeks together. Though it hurt a little, it was something your poor heart could take at the moment.
“You fucking- You fucking know what I’m saying, Dumbass,” he said as you managed to pry his hands off your cheeks. 
You sighed, turning away, embarrassed still. “Yeah,” you began to pout, “but what kind of sort-of but not really confession was that, you asshole?!” 
Now wasn’t the time for you to get mad, but you couldn’t tell if it was because of how late (early?) it was or if it was because you weren’t used to talking about love or things like that. It was probably the latter, considering the only other person aside from you who knew about your crush on Bakugo was Kirishima and Kirishima alone. 
It was whatever, you already got mad, there was no going back. 
Bakugo looked confused for once as you turned back around with an expression on your face he’d never seen before. Were you... flustered?
“Don’t look at me like that! I like you, Mr.I’m-good-at-everything-but-confessions! I like you, you asshole, and if your gonna confess do it better,” you crossed your arms, fuming in a more joking way, but your face really was red and no amount of pretending it wasn’t would change that. “So yeah, I like you... now what?”
You couldn’t keep your lips in a frown for much longer as you found your lips curling upwards instead. Bakugo took a few steps towards you, his chest only inches from your own. 
You had to look up at him, due to your height difference, but that wasn’t what you cared about.
Bakugo scoffed, his eyes not leaving yours. Bakugo wasn’t even sure it was possible to pry his eyes from your captivating e/c, not right now at least. “I like you,” he smirked, watching your face deteriorate back into it’s flustered expression, “is that better?”
You huffed, “Much-” you were cut off when Bakugo pushed his lips against yours. Your eyes widened before fluttering closed as you melted into the kiss. 
It was fiery, just like Bakugo himself. It was hard not to smile. The kiss was also sort of needy, maybe it was because you ignored the explosive blond for a whole week, or maybe it was because of how long you liked each other without acting on it. 
It wasn’t something you cared to know the answer of.
There was also one more thing.
You couldn’t tell if you cared or not anymore, but the back of your mind screamed you would still not be able to sleep, too happy to. All because of this dumb hoe, Bakugo Katsuki. It was fine, because now he was your dumb hoe.
~ extra ~
“Sleep deprived as always, eh, Y/n?” Kirishima nudged your elbow, both in a friendly way and to keep you awake.
“Watch your back, Kiri, if you want to keep your knee caps...” you trailed off, glaring daggers into him.
“What?! Didn’t things go well?!” the redhead exclaimed, panicked.
“Yes. They did, but still. >:(”
~~~~
it’s currently 2:21 am for me rn lmao
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need-a-new-hobby · 4 years
Text
the descent into hell isn’t easy
s1 ep 2
so i got 2 notes on my last post so imma keep going
did simon just compare jace to mick jagger?!? HA!
did clary just say that she thinks jocelyn is at the center of their war?!? WhAt? look, i get that this girl wants to find her mom, but assuming that the entire shadowhunter race (also they call themselves a race) is fighting over her mom is just... idek what to call it? Arrogance? Naïveté?
also did noone think to bring the body inside?
i swear alec is so done with jace and his mundanes. his entire thing is just ‘another one?’
i’m sorry, i think my eyes just rolled down the back of my skull with the whole ‘best friends’ thing. 
can i just point out that matthew daddario is just watching isabell flirt with simon with such amusement? it’s adorable.
my god, i forgot that they torture their tutor to get info on the circle. i know hodge deserves this later, but seriously, how could clace do that?
‘i hate to make you suffer like this.’ are y’all serious? she’s borderline torturing this guy for info. somehow she makes me angrier by apologising. 
also this kinda thing is so classic. ofc none of them know their own violent history. did no-one bother to find out growing up? i hate to say this but if clary’s right about one thing, it’s the insanity behind not knowing their own history.
also, this scene is one of the first that made me sorta dislike clary. rewatching it just makes me angrier.
‘what is a g. i. joe?’ them not knowing clary and simon’s pop culture references is the funniest. refer to mick jagger above
also where the hell was she planning to go? and clary’s explanation of what a g.i. joe is is kinda off. i always assumed a g. i. joe was like an all-american hero (see steve rogers)
yikes! clary stepped on mom issues. i have no empathy/sympathy for her, she needs to calm down
‘in the shadow world, no training and no plan gets you killed’ - the first sane thing i’ve heard jace say all season.
kay, jace has got to be some kinda genius to go from ‘my memory’s blank’ to ‘your memory’s been wiped’. my memory goes blank all the time. i don’t remember what i had for dinner last night.
one more implausible thing, how doesn’t she know what a warlock is? i mean she’s 18, it’s 2016, has she not heard of Harry Potter, or LOTR for that matter? she’s simon’s best friend, she has to have come across it at some point in time.
kay, first of all, we all saw dot fall through a window about maybe 10 ft high, crack her neck on a fence and fall on the pavement. how is she still alive? 
also, i know luke’s meant to be a good guy and all, but he literally just treated dot like crap considering all she’s been through. and insinuating that she can’t be trusted when he himself was a circle member is just plain discrimination. 
also, she gets it. ‘if anyone can help, it’s magnus bane’. i get it, my baby is super powerful, but please don’t get him killed. i can already sense the magnus bane sass™️
izzy’s so pretty! and her hair is flawless. but the way she says ‘he’s the ultimate protector’, i just can’t
btw, love the inclusion of the ‘izzy can’t cook’ gag from the books. but kinda implausible that she can make porridge but completely burns toast. nvm, the porridge looks nasty (sorry, iz, i still love you though, bad porridge and all)
can i just ask that if jocelyn fray’s real name is fairchild, why would searching her pseudonym come up as restricted? also, hodge very conveniently forgot to tell them that jocelyn was married to valentine or that her real name was fairchild. that’s just sloppy.
also luke’s friendship with his boss is so pleasing to watch (terrible phrasing i know) i mean so often female captains are seen as these stoic, always angry and fierce officers with terrible relationships with their underlings. it’s nice to see her joking around with a colleague. 
clary’s uncomfortability with izzy’s clothing is canon, but she’s basically wearing a camisole. it’s a lot less revealing that izzy’s regular clothes. at least there’s no slutshaming! plus she’s gonna be wearing a jacket on top, but ofc everyone’s comfort levels are different.
I’m so glad that Clary and Izzy are both so positive towards each other. I mean compared to the books, not that bad
‘do you know how to fight demons?’ to ‘i’m an internet search away.’ simon’s the best. 😍😍
i mean, who in their right mind would approve the mission? sure, they’re not teenagers, but they’re messing with Valentine, for crying out loud. besides, we all know how much the clave prioritises down and out warlocks.
‘little girl’
‘clave thing,’ someone needs to educate this selfish matchstick. first of all, she can’t expect alec to turn his back on the clave, they need the clave’s resources to keep the institute running. second of all, she doesn’t really need to go. think about it, if alec, jace and izzy can track down a shapeshifter to a nightclub, they can handle a warlock. besides, she’d just be dead weight anyway. i just hate that clary doesn’t get better than this.
haha, alec’s salt kills me. ‘well, since you have all the answers...’ 
oh, so she’s not gonna explain the vision giving gemstone lolling around her neck? fuuun
‘you were kidding about the runes on the floor killing me right?’ alec’s smile aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i love one grumpy cat smile so much. also this is like his first smile in the 2 eps
sorry, but magnus’s face when dot grabs his arm, just like ‘bitch who do you think you are?’ 
instant priorities people. see, magnus understands the concepts of ‘risk’, ‘danger’ and ‘consequences’, unlike one matchstick i won’t name. (“I’ve been busy trying to save our people from certain death”)
hahaha, the foreshadowing -> “are you really gonna risk your life for a shadowhunter?” - this is why magnus is my fave.
okay, couple really weird things i have to point out. first off, clary sucks at running. i get that running in heels is hard, i can’t even walk in them, but i can’t believe that the entire institute doesn’t have one good pair of sneakers. second, alec is just walking in the back, that’s how slow they’re going. third, are they seriously just following clary around the club on some strange whim instead of attacking the club strategically? 
but seriously, her running though. her arms are just waggling around. seriously, guys, sneakers.
kay, clary is way too hyper right now. alec never said they were giving up, just that it wasn’t safe and they had to get back to the institute. which is absolutely true, if circle members are after dot in pandemonium, they’re probably in the vicinity
im sorry, but watching alec and izzy know exactly what jace is planning with the silent brothers and in sync just going ‘jace, no’
‘a process that can also kill you, so there’s that.’ i mean, what’s the downside?
‘your bedside manner is abysmal’ - kay, i’m still kinda pissed off rn so that’s probably coming across here, but dude, you are both adults and she needs to know the risks involved. how tf was he supposed to say that...not abysmally? sorry, im a big alec defender. i think its an older sibling thing.
wait, 18 rules? damn, jace has to have like a record or something. i reckon 18′s probably exaggerating. i’d guess at 10, maybe 12.
hold up, he’s asking clary to decide whether she should get her memories wrenched out of her by the silent brothers w/o knowing the risks involved? not a sound decision.
why is she so fucking smug towards alec? it’s kinda hard to see at first, you have to replay it a couple times. maybe it’s just me cuz im writing this late at night but her attitude towards alec really gets under my skin.
also, i think satan is on simon’s van. that’s not at all disconcerting
also, why is this all happening at night? and wasn’t isabelle making breakfast before? 
‘are you kidding? i was born afraid.’ first of all, mood. second of all, proof why simon is my child.
tbh, i really wanted to see a better brotherhood between jace and alec. like, it is still better than in the books, where jace practically ignores alec’s existence until he gets injured by Abaddon. (a moment i wish was in the tv show, but too complicated, i understand.) but i think in this scene, where they discuss the steps they’re taking, you kind of see the chemistry between them. well, not really chemistry, maybe more just their relationship. 
first off, alec tries explaining to jace that even though clary’s made the decision, they’re responsible for her wellbeing, something that isn’t in the book. i really appreciate this bit, primarily because you see why alec is so fussy about missions. as the season progresses, you see the kind of pressures that are on him, something that makes me hate clary all the more
second, jace counters this by giving him the bigger picture. this is a step they need to take to find valentine. i think that’s something the books don’t give you either. you kinda start seeing that without jace, alec gets stuck on the minor details i.e. rules, stipulations etc. and without alec, jace wouldn’t be able to calculate the risks of each decision, which i think is key to understanding them as parabatai.
third, alec’s soft little ‘you were never a stray’ tugs at my heartstrings every time. jace really is family to them, a brother for them and i love that he sort of forces that down; that despite their last names, despite their bloodlines, they will always be brothers, a sentiment i absolutely adore
haha, jace c*ckblocking simon since 2016
i’m still not over the notion that valentine is holed up in chernobyl, of all places. i am really glad though that they didn’t follow the trope of the US being like the only country in the world, or New York being the only city on the planet.
did i mention how confused i am that dot is still alive?
yeah, did not miss jace’s arrogance
‘kay despite the fact that i hate everything about her, i have to commend clary on how much she loves her mom. i mean, i know a lot of people who wouldn’t do the same. and despite the fact that jocelyn lied to her for 12 years (based on what she tells magnus later on) she’s still willing to do whatever it takes.
‘you’re clary freaking fray, you can do anything.’ cue alec eye-rolling in the back. look, it’s not that i have anything against simon and clary being vocal about their bff status, it’s just that a) i would never talk to my best friend like that and b) it is thoroughly making me cringe
kay, i’ve rewatched this scene a dozen times and here’s what i noticed
‘i have seen every horror movie ever and the funny best friend who gets left behind...dead man’
cue isabelle laughing
jace: you’re not that funny
alec is just so done with these f*cking mundanes. “the rune energy will kill any mundane that dares to enter, so please.” motions for the mundie to keep going. 
kay, before i keep going, i’ve noticed this post is going on for a bit, and re-reading, i feel like i have to clarify why i dislike jace’s arrogance but not alec’s. i think it’s mainly because jace’s arrogance stems from a need to be superior to others, which is common with victims of child abuse, or so i’ve read. knowing this makes it a little harder to hate him, but this kind of behaviour, while is justifiable, often leads to them tearing down another person’s self-worth, which you can kind of see in the books. alec’s arrogance mainly stems from being exhausted from dealing with other people’s bullshit, which i can’t really dislike. i’m an older sibling myself, so i kinda know what he goes through dealing with siblings and such. you’ll see with the next point.
‘talk about sacrifice, i’m missing a financial analysis class.’ first off, what kind of class starts in the middle of the night? second, i’d rather be in the city of bones than in financial analysis. third, i feel alec’s exasperation.
‘yeah, i can’t be around this, so imma mind the perimeter.’ *gestures to simon’s entire body*
i dunno why clary’s hugging simon like that, it’s not like he’s the one going down there. i’m gonna move on before i overanalyse and come up with more ways why i don’t like clary
izzy keeps making simon uneasy and I LIVE FOR THESE MOMENTS
aight, imma keep it honest, i skipped the whole city of bones/clace section the first time cuz they’re so boring. but it’s pretty much just jace making stupid jokes and clary being kinda whiny.
‘looking better in black than the widows of our enemies.’ a line that lives rent-free in my head.
also, he keeps saying she’s a shadowhunter now, but she hasn’t done much shadowhunting. she doesn’t even know what the clave is
aand now they’re holding hands. great. very professional y’all.
silent brothers. looking creepy since the dawn of nephilim. but for my book stans, where’s brother smackariah?
imma be honest, i feel bad for the silent brothers. i mean, they’ve devoted themselves completely to the shadowhunter profession, mutilated themselves for the attainment of knowledge, and yet, the first thing that comes to mind is fear instead of admiration. yikers.
“if you are not strong enough, the soul sword will kill you.” this show needs to stop getting my hopes up
“it literally never stops talking.” i love alec with all my heart.
i know i shouldn’t but it’s so funny that they keep referring to simon as ‘it’
“my father is valentine.” cue matchstick running. 
alec is the only sane person on this team. how is he the only one that doubts clary’s loyalty? i mean, i’ll admit he could have phrased it better, but book!Alec is canon for being straightforward so i’m shrugging it off. jace should’ve been a leetle understanding and for once, i think clary’s reaction towards alec was justified. finding out she’d valentine’s daughter, and then being accused of espionage isn’t a fortunate series of events. but alec is correct in his own right. as head of the institute, he needs to make sure. again, he’s always mindful of the consequences behind his actions. even when simon is kidnapped, he doesn’t act rashly, even though no-one would blame him for sticking an arrow through Raphael for kidnapping Simon. (don’t get me wrong, i love raphael.) but he doesn’t, keeping the accords in mind. they’d all be screwed if they broke the law, and alec would be held responsible.
that’s all folks. tune in tomorrow for episode 3
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yikeswtfmate · 4 years
Text
(1) New Message from Unknown Number
main masterlist // (1) New Message Masterlist // next part
Summary: Y/N is drunk and can’t remember her ex’s number.
A/N: Hello, it is I, the idiot who writes Social Media AUs when she’s drunk but is too lazy to put them in the proper format and just leaves them to die somewhere on her laptop
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Social Media AU - that’s a lie, it’s actually just texts in Word format 🤡)
Warnings: swearing, dumbassery
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Unknown Number: Hey asshat so listen
Unknown Number: I kno we hvnt spoken since like
Unknown Number: High school but whateve idc
Unknown Number: U’re an asshle so I dnt even care that its like…
Unknown Number: 3 in the morning nvrmd
Unknown Number: Ive ben dared to txt my hottest ex by these evil witchS so
Unknown Number: Here u go
Unknown Number: At least u had decent abs so congrats on tht jfc
Unknown Number:  also u dnt get to complain abt this txt bc like
Unknown Number: u dated me for 6 months on a dare so U KNOW WHat this shuold feel like ya
Unknown Number: Wow dude that sounds like a dick move
Unknown Number: Seriously who the hell dates someone for 6 months on a dare?
Unknown Number: Doesn’t that only happen in movies though?
Unknown Number: hey bitchass dont act like u don’t kno what im talkinG abt
Unknown Number: Oh shit yeah, sorry. I don’t know who this asshole of an ex is but I sure as hell am not him
Unknown Number: Dude sounds like a complete waste of human space
Unknown Number: And I think I wouldn’t get to live it down if my friends would hear I did something that shitty
Unknown Number: Wait lemme ask Sam
Unknown Number: Nah, he says Steve would’ve beaten my ass if I were to do that so there u go
Unknown Number: m sorry who tf are u
Unknown Number: Bucky
Unknown Number: what kind of stupid name is bucky
Unknown Number: Shit man, u’re the one blowing up my phone at 3 in the morning, sending me weird ass messages when I don’t even know u and u dare say my name is stupid???
Unknown Number: Sheit srry
Unknown Number: Is been A long night
Unknown Number: nd week
Unknown Number: Actlly make thAt the whle entire fuckin month
Girl with asshole ex: Srry fr bothering u
Unknown Number: It‘s cool
Girl with asshole ex: Hey the witches ask if ure hot
Bonky: Yeah
Girl with asshole ex: WHAT THE FCK MAN AT LEST BE A LIL BIT HUMBLE SMH
Bonky: U wanted me to lie?
Girl with asshole ex: Fair point
Girl with asshole ex: They wnt a pic
Girl with asshole ex: Pic or it didn’t happen punk
Girl with asshole ex: Tht was nat
Bonky: What kind of party are u at that you can constantly text me?
Girl with asshole ex: Wanda’s place
Girl with asshole ex: Girls night
Girl with asshole ex: Getting hammered on wine BITCH
Girl with asshole ex: Also dnt change the subject
Bonky: I don’t even know your name
Girl with asshole ex: Why would I tell u my name I just want to see a suppsdly hot asssd
Bonky: You know mine and now you want me to send u a pic of me
Bonky: Bit of a disadvantage here babe
Girl with asshole ex: Babe?
Girl with asshole ex: BABE?
Girl with asshole ex: Fine
Girl with asshole ex: BABE if I tell u my name will u send a pic of u so we kno u arnt a 60yr old perv
Bonky: I’ll think about it
Girl with asshole ex: Hey fuck u
Girl with asshole ex: Not fair
Bonky: How do I know you’re not the 60yr old perv?
Girl with asshole ex: Cuz she got big tiddies to prove
Girl with asshole ex: And that was wanda
Girl with asshole ex: So now u know my fridsn
Bonky: Still don’t know your name tho babe
Bonky: Also tell Wanda she shouldn’t give out this type of info to strangers
Girl with asshole ex: ure not a stranger anymore bonky
Girl with asshole ex: ure my babe nao
Bonky: I’m going to let that Bonky slide just bc u’re cute
Bonky: But I’m also going to stop replying until you tell me your name
Girl with asshole ex: U think im cute?
Girl with asshole ex: 
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Girl with asshole ex: I mean u havnt even seen me but thats fair
Girl with asshole ex: Wand and nat say its true so ill believe u rnt lying to me rn
Girl with asshole ex: But I wanna see if ure cute
Girl with asshole ex: Wait why r u up st 3 in the mrng I mean we re drunk but wht r u doing
Girl with asshole ex: Babe u need to take better care of urself
Girl with asshole ex: Babe
Girl with asshole ex: Babe?
Girl with asshole ex: BABE?
Girl with asshole ex: Ph shit ure actually ignoring me
Girl with asshole ex: I dont like this
Girl with asshole ex: I actually like talking to u
Girl with asshole ex: Pls stop ignoring me
Girl with asshole ex: COME BACK AND LOBE ME
Girl with asshole ex: Babe?
Girl with asshole ex: Fine
Girl with asshole ex: It’s Y/N
Bonky: Now, that wasn’t so hard was it? 
Babe: fcuk u
Bonky: I’m up at 3 bc we ordered pizza and decided it’s time to beat Sam’s ass in Mario Kart once and for all
Babe: Nd how’s that going for ya?
Bonky: Bitch has been beating us for the past 3 hours
Bonky: Thor is the only one getting at least close to him now so we’re about to give up
Babe: Wait shit how r u replying so fast if ure playing Mario kart tho
Bonky: I gave up two hours ago
Babe: Quitter
Bonky: Just gotta know which fights to pick babe
Babe: Heads up I might be fallin asleep soon
Bonky: Drink some water before that, maybe get some food in u as well to soak up all the alcohol and have an advil close for tomorrow
Babe: Ok MOM
Bonky: Hey Wanda willingly told me you have “big tiddies” so your friends don’t seem to be doing a good job of taking care of you
Bonky: Might as well let me do it so you don’t die tmrw
Babe: Ohhhh so u careeeee babe im touched
Babe: Kkkkkk Ill talk tu u tmrw ill be dead soon
Babe: Nd I do have big tiddies
Bonky: Good night babe
*
Babe: What the shit
Bonky: I see you survived
Babe: Barely
Babe: My head might explode soon and I feel like I’ve vomited for an entire lifetime
Babe: TMI sorry
Bonky: I’d like to point out I’m glad I don’t have to decipher your texts anymore and that you can actually spell properly
Babe: Fuck you Buckaroo
Bonky: I would also like to remind you that I have on good authority that you have “big tiddies” so don’t make me use that against you
Babe: I am going to kill Wanda
Babe:Ugh I need coffee
Babe: I’ll talk to you later
Bonky: I’ll be waiting for you babe
*
Babe: So
Babe: BABE
Bonky: Yes baby?
Babe: 
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Bonky: Nah, you love it
Babe: Fine
Babe: You still haven’t sent a pic of you though. I might be able to rise Nat and Wanda from the dead if you do
Bonky: What do I get in return?
Babe: The promise that I will keep replying even though you might turn out to be an ugly orc?
Bonky: Not enough
Babe: Fine. I’ll keep talking to you until you want me to stop. Or until I get bored of you
Bonky: Eh, you can do better
Babe: What do you WANT?
Bonky: A pic of you in return
Babe: I’m not sending you nudes, perv
Bonky: If I wanted to see you naked and be a dick about it, I could’ve asked last night, don’t worry
Bonky: But if you’ll know how I look it’s only fair I should know how you look
Babe: That sounds reasonable
Bonky: I’d say it’s a fair exchange
Babe: Fine, you first then
Bonky: If you don’t send me a pic of you afterwards babe I will stop replying, just so you know
Bonky:
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Babe: Did you type super hot guy with the most beautiful eyes in the world in Google or something?
Bonky: I’m touched but no. Sam took that photo at a work event
Babe: Bitch do you really expect me to believe this is you? That looks like a guy who just stepped out of a magazine, I highly doubt I would have the luck to text him instead of my ex when drunk
Bonky:
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Bonky: Are you always this annoying?
Babe: …
Bonky: What? Do you want me to take a selfie with the fucking newspaper now? I read the news online babe, I’m not getting off of this couch just so I can buy a stupid newspaper to prove it’s me
Babe: Do you have one in a suit?
Bonky: …why am I putting up with this?
Bonky: Hold on
Bonky:
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Bonky: It’s been 5 minutes, are you going to reply?
Bonky: You still have to send me a picture of you though, a deal is a deal you know
Bonky: Fine, I warned you
Babe: Shit sorry
Babe: Hi Bucky, this is Natasha
Bonky: Hi Natasha. Is Y/N alright?
Babe: Uhm how should I put this?
Babe: Y/N is crying right now and she can’t reply herself
Bonky: What? What happened? Is she okay?
Babe: Oh yeah
Babe: She’s just crying because (and I’m quoting here) you’re “so beautiful, it’s like all my wet dreams and fantasies have come together. I swear this is some cosmic joke, this is not happening”
Babe: I’m not sure if she’s laughing or crying now
Babe: But she keeps yelling at me that I have to send you the most perfect picture of herself that has ever existed or you will stop talking to her
Babe: I think she started crying again because “I will never live up to that level of perfection, he told me that I have to know which fights to pick”
Babe: Uh yeah so here
Babe: 1 Photo Attached
Bonky: Hey Nat, could you tell Y/N that I would like to talk to her now?
Babe: Sure
Babe: Hey
Bonky: Baby?
Babe: Yeah?
Bonky: You picked the wrong fight if you think “you will never live up to this level of perfection”
Babe: Oh God
Bonky: Stop being an idiot
Bonky: And listen to me
Bonky: I would really like to keep talking to you. Mainly because you’re an idiot who makes me laugh, but it’s also the fact that you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen in my entire life
Babe:
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s-nh · 3 years
Text
Idk where I’m gonna go with this but I’m 25 years old and I’m so upset at myself.
I was in a toxic relationship from 17-24 and this person was 4 years older than me. He was caring and thoughtful at times and made me laugh a lot but he was also so cruel and narcissistic, and overall so disrespectful.
I shared my goals and dreams with him and he made me believe they were stupid. As our years together went by I stupidly revolved my time around him. I’d see him 4/5 days a week and spent my entire days with him. Not saying they weren’t enjoyable moments despite the fact that 75% times were spent arguing and not getting along, but as time progressed I started to think to myself,
“I get ready to see him and I come over to his house to lay around in his room all day watching him play video games, smoke and drink and eat.” Things I could easily do at home. I wouldn’t have had a problem If all that time wasn’t spent basically and pretty much doing absolutely nothing.
I was 23, and something in me was starting to die and that was my patience. He was 26. He worked part time at a food establishment, was still smoking and drinking and playing video games. That’s fine. But what else?? Like what else are you doing.
24 I gave up. The verbal and emotional and mental and almost physical abuse was enough. His will of wanting to improve wasn’t there.
I had one more dream left in me that I wanted to accomplish and when he shamed me for it. I reached my peak.
I left.
I felt free and I never knew I had this giant weight on my shoulders until a week went by and started focusing on myself.
I always had this feeling inside me that I gave my genuine love to the wrong person. I wanted to love. I wanted to have someone I could give that love to. But not just anyone. Someone who would reciprocate it back.
I dated someone shortly after and was hit with that “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse. Was I hurt. A little. But I didn’t let it beat me up.
Then this other guy comes into my life and he was so talented, so sweet, so handsome, I was just in such awe by him and All I wanted was to be around him. But he was busy and was “only able” to have me come over passed midnight.
One morning when we both woke up we went out for breakfast and he asked me “so what are your plans after quarantine?”
“What do you mean?”
“Yeah, like what are your moves?”
Then I realized I was over here judging my ex for not progressing while I was doing the exact same thing at the moment. Not really doing anything.
I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to keep taking these classes that had to do with this dream I have but I didn’t want to tell him. I believe in that superstition of “never tell someone what you’re going to do bc if you end up not achieving it, then you were just all talk. Move in silence.”
I can’t remember what I replied with but I remember asking him “what about you?” And he immediately answered with all these tasks and places and work he was aiming on accomplishing and I just felt so mad at myself.
In a way I was glad I was mad bc it kinda gave me a push to just stop being a procrastinating bitch and start moving like I wanted to when I broke up with my ex.
This guy, I just wanted him. I wanted him to myself. I wanted him to keep inspiring me in silence. But unfortunately he didn’t feel the same way about me when I expressed my feelings for him after 5 months of “talking”. I mean I only slept over every weekend and had sex, and received phone calls from him daily but slowly I started to notice a change. That feeling you start getting where you know they’re not as interested anymore as how they used to be? That.
It almost felt like he was forcing himself to call me, seeing me, everything. And this was before I told him how I felt. But I still tried. I’d like to think he was trying too but it almost felt like it was a chore for him. One day he picked me up so we could get boba and as we sat down, he was showing me something on his phone and he handed it to me so I could look at what he was showing me. He received a text and almost immediately took his phone from me to see who the text was from.
It was his brother in law but the way he snatched his phone from a text he got made me recognize that familiar action that my ex would do when he was cheating on me and would take his phone like that from me when he’d receive a text.
I ignored it tho. Later come to find out he was talking to someone else the entire time we were a “thing” and now he’s happy with her.
That’s fine but I wish he would’ve been honest and not hit me with the same shit. “It’s not you, it’s me and I’m just so broken rn and you deserve someone that isn’t. And no there’s no one else.”
But there was.
An old coworker at my previous job was interested in me and he knew what I went through w my ex and these last two guys.
He pursued me and what not and there I go falling for the attention and words that meant nothing once the deed was done.
I’ve become so numb now to men. My walls are so high and another old coworker of mine told me,
“Leave your feelings at home and just have fun. They don’t take you seriously, then don’t put in the effort. Play the game natalie.” I thanked him for what I considered stupid advice but ended up taking it as a few other men started shooting their shot.
I’ve messed around but wouldn’t get caught up on falling for their lame ass efforts. And I say lame bc it was the bare minimum.
They aren’t bothered so why should I be.
After leaving my ex I just started to do what I never did in my late teens and early 20’s and that was going out and having fun.
I made friends along the way and I can’t tell you how much I secretly appreciate the moments of just going out and being around them and getting drunk and being stupid.
But then it’s also a problem bc I should be focusing on getting my shit together and having fun later.
But I crave getting away from my house and just enjoying my time and forgetting about responsibilities and worries and stress from home.
This new guy came into my life and I remember telling him when we first hung out “I’m not interested in anything rn. I don’t want a relationship.”
But he goes out of his way in wanting to spend time with me even though he’s busy himself being a high school teacher, an architect, painter, doing branding for companies, and so much more.
He takes me out, expresses his interest in me, listens, treats me well but I’m stupid enough to not feel a single drop of mutual interest like he does.
I feel nothing.
And then I also feel bad bc I’m wasting his time. I’d love to be his friend but I know he would erase me from his life to get rid of the hurt that I know I’ll cause.
But it’s not fair to him. And not right of me.
Like he knows what I said that day of not wanting anything but it’s like he’s been trying to see if I’ll change my mind.
Myself from a year ago would love and appreciate the fact that I finally found someone who could reciprocate what I’ve been trying to give but my present self now doesn’t feel that same attraction.
Idk I’m everywhere with this whole rant but idk what do.
I can’t with myself 90% of the time.
I need to get it together. Time keeps passing by day by day. Second by second. There’s no going back.
He’s offering me jobs and amazing opportunities but how fucked would I look and be if I accept knowing he’s only doing it bc he likes me and I don’t feel the same.
I’d deny bc of it even though I want to say yes.
I don’t know.
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