#I’m not queer unfortunately but yeah this is accurate

[padfootastic]

Do you think fandom can be sexist towards female characters?

I see the Jegulus fandom wanting to write Lily completely out of the picture and wolfstar people generally hate Tonks.

oof. i have…a very rambly, very long answer to this bc i don’t think it’s a simple yes/no so i’ll put this under a cut for people to skip if they wanna, yeah?

so, straight off the bat, im not a fan of using pejorative labels for writers in general but particularly for fanfic authors. for one, we don’t know who’s writing behind the screen + what their motivations/inspirations/intentions are. two, everyone writes for a different reason. perhaps someone is venting, or projecting, or using it as a therapeutic release; often it’s lifted straight out of their own life. so i try not to judge the text in front of me based on stuff like that. (this leeway could also be because i used to read a lot of bashing fics where the majority of them are women, i think, and often with the flimsiest, most irrelevant reasons that are straight out of the Sexism Handbook of Traditional Patriarchy too so maybe i just started rationalising it for myself? idk)

second, i think it’s pretty well known that the majority of fandom is some combination of women/queer/neurodivergent/POC etc etc. so applying the lens of ‘critiquing mainstream media produced by cishet men’ doesn’t…really work here, i don’t think. the way we would analyse sexism in say, marvel or disney won’t (shouldn’t?) be the same as how we do it for fandom imo.

that being said, it’s still entirely possible for certain ‘problematic’ tropes/ideas to be prolific, right? this is where the sexism u mentioned comes in. i prefer to use symptomatic language here so saying ‘xyz has sexist/x-phobic elements’ instead of an absolute ‘the work/author is sexist/x-phobic’ because i don’t think the latter is either useful or accurate. when it comes to this, there’s one really important thing i look for here. is the author aware of what they’re writing? (which is a whole other issue tbh, complete w why i feel more comfortable around darkfic authors but let’s not go there rn lol) because a lot of the authors who write out lily or tonks in these ships do so knowingly bc it’s the only way for their plot to exist/evolve. sure, you can have an amicable resolution but will it provide the conflict u need? will it make for good entertainment? will it lead to 3D characters?

stories often need an antagonist and is it unfortunate that women often end up filling the role? sure. absolutely. i’d argue that one of the reasons we have so many mlm ships compared to wlw is because of mainstream media giving us better written men more often than not. and i think it’s totally fine to feel angry/frustrated/upset about that, especially when it carries over into fandom which is supposed to be a fun, inclusive, safe space. i get really frustrated at a lot of wolfstar discourse that entirely ignores the possibility of bisexuality. the vehement insistence that that a certain character can’t be with a woman bc they’re queer, for example, rubs me the wrong way and i think what you’re mentioning is something similar too. but, i always stop myself from assuming malicious intent on the author/fic’s part bc just because they write/believe something in fiction doesn’t make it true, ykno? and i can always step back and go look for something else that’s more to my liking.

and i think every creator would have something like this in their works tbh. i certainly do. i know for a fact that the way i’ve written lily in shovel talk and the patronus fic isn’t exactly favourable to her—even though i’ve tried to be neutral, she has definitely come out looking worse than the others and i admit that that’s on me. i wanted a certain dynamic & characterisation for james & sirius and this was the way to achieve it. people are allowed to dislike that. but they must also acknowledge that i’m allowed to write her that way.

i think, more often than not, we end up looking at this in simplistic binaries. ‘i like this -> good -> allowed to exist’ or ‘i don’t like this -> bad -> shouldn’t exist.’ i’m…not a fan of that. my opinion is we should advocate for more mindfulness within our writing but allowing writers to craft their stories the way they want (bc ultimately fic is supposed to simple and fun and not something you agonise over). and this is all interlinked, right? because the moment we say ‘ok. this might be portraying women in an icky manner, i don’t like it but the author can do that bc it’s a piece of fiction’ then u open the gates for more responsible reading & writing. authors would feel comfortable tagging their works with this, they can discuss it openly w/o being worried about reproach or ‘being cancelled’ and readers can make a more informed decision. but if you go in guns blazing with ‘ugh this fandom is so sexist, look at how it’s treating its women’ then you’ve pretty much killed all possibility for dialogue and improvement and that’s not helping anyone.

this kind of also ties in with my previous point about having differing standards for mainstream vs niche mediums of art. fanfiction authors are often, ironically enough, held to higher standards than published/paid creators which is interesting bc u can argue that their work doesn’t even have the kind of social impact that mainstream media does.

anyway. i’ve gone off on enough tangents here lol but i think i’ll end it with this: yes, women definitely come off worse in certain spaces, especially when they have to compete with mlm ships but i think that’s a conscious decision that authors take within the bounds of the material they have. as long as they are conscious of the fact/acknowledge it, i think likening it to sexism isn’t fair because u can’t have a story without plot devices, uncomfortable as they might be. if you see a pattern in someone’s stories of women being constantly shunted aside negatively, then i think u can take note of it and avoid it. maybe have a conversation with the author if they’re willing to talk about their creative choices. i feel like that’s the most u can do when it comes to online writing where u have no idea who’s on the other side of the screen.

[itsonlystrange]

Okay I’m just saying..do you guys realize what a cultural reset canon byler would be?

Like it would trend on Twitter, 100%. People who have never seen the show before would become interested in it, ESPECIALLY people who are looking for queer representation in shows.

Byler is a good slow burn that’s INTERESTING. It’s not your stereotypical gay guys who obviously like eachother and are only there for comic relief and pushed to the back so that the het ships can get the spotlight. It has DEVELOPMENT. And it’s rare you come across stuff like that.

Neither mike nor will are stereotypically “gay”. They are just regular teenage boys who happen to not be straight. Usually gay ships portrayed in TV and Film are used as comedic relief. Or the overly flamboyant gay guy and the super macho gay guy getting together in the last 10 seconds the show.

Yes, there are a TON of good shows out there that have queer representation however a LOT of them get thrown under the radar or are overshadowed by the more heterosexual ships or shows.

So imagine, a show as big as stranger things, having its two boys be in a canon relationship. Like the internet would BLOW UP. It’d be the topic of every interview. Finn and Noah would be the topic of every interview. Stranger Things would have relevancy again.

Obviously, ST is still relevant however with this whole hiatus it’s falling off the radar easily and people are becoming bored. But this...this would blow it up again.

Obviously queer ships are NOT there to make a show relevant again, at all. That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is, imagine all the lgbtq+ kids that watch ST. The lgbtq+ BOYS that watch ST.

Often, when queer relationships are portrayed in film or television, it isn’t portrayed accurately. And it’s often shown as “if you don’t come out this way then you’re invalid.” Or “if you have internalized homophobia you’re invalid” and a thousand other things. Hell, I remember being much younger absolutely hating myself or not “picking a side” and being so confused with my self and wondering why I was even bisexual in the first place.

But then you have byler, which portrays a much more accurate relationship between two closer than normal boys. It portrays the internalized homophobia, the abuse and bullying people back in the 80’s (and still now) would endure. And yeah, it’s not the most accurate depiction but it’s FAR better than some other popular show’s queer relationships.

Millions of people watch this show, an abundance of them being lgbtq+. And imagine them having a ship to look up to. A ship that doesn’t portray gay relationships as a “joke”. And even better, Mike and Will are teenagers!!

Often, in film and television, queer ships are usually based around two adults. In fact, a lot of times they portray young teenagers being in a gay relationship as “gross.” They say that it’s too “mature”. That having a partner that’s the same gender as you is wrong, and that you need to be a little bit “older” because apparently being in a queer relationship is only for adults because queer relationships are just too “inappropriate.”

But then you have Mike and Will who are two 14 year old boys. Who aren’t stereotypically “gay” as the movies portray. They’re just normal teenage boys. And that’s how it SHOULD be portrayed. We need to stop portraying Lgbtq+ ships as “inappropriate” or “weird”. They’re just two teenage boys in love.

Remember when everyone found out Robin was lesbian after being straight baited? Yeah. The internet blew up. So take that and times it by ten thousand. That would be canon byler.

It’d be a huge step for the media. Unfortunately, we haven’t come that far with queer ships. It’s gotten better but there’s still a lot of steps to take. But having a huge show like stranger things have their two man boys be in a canon relationship and have it portrayed regularly, guys!! That would be huge!!

Imagine all the little kids getting to grow up with that. Or all the teenagers that are Mike and Will’s age struggling with their sexuality seeing these two boys who aren’t stereotypically anything be canonically in love. Like, that would be huge.

I know that if I grew up with a canon byler I would definitely have felt a lot more sure of my sexuality earlier on. So many kids would have a wonderful ship to look up to that isn’t fetishized or treated like it’s “weird.”

And the fact that it’d be the topic of every interview. Noah and Finn wouldn’t see the end of it. People would talk about it non stop. It’d be advertised on social media accounts, the duffers would talk about it, the stranger writers would talk about it. I mean, it’d be big!!

And yeah, it’s sad that a gay ship becoming canon would be revolutionary, but that’s just how the world is. We still haven’t progressed past that yet. And it’ll take awhile before having a gay shop isn’t a big thing.

I often see people say “if byler became canon then everybody would stop watching” which just ISN’T true.

They’d gain so many viewers. It’d be more popular than Mileven ever had been. Yes, Mileven has their cute moments, however at the end of the day, Milevens dynamic has been done before. Thats not to say bylers hasn’t, obviously a canon byler wouldn’t be the first. But it’d be the first big canon queer ship in awhile. Straight ships with mileven’s dynamic happen all the time.

And at the end of the day, ST isn’t a romance show. If Mileven didn’t end up being end game I don’t think many people would care. It wouldn’t be as big as people say it is. I feel like the fandom likes to think that Mileven rakes in all the money but that simply isn’t true. It’s a science fiction show at its core and the core viewers don’t watch for romance. If Mileven is what raked in all their viewers then season 2 wouldn’t have been as successful as it was, considering mike and el don’t even interact until the last episode of season 2. So I really think the fandom is just overreacting on that part. Yeah, people are gonna leave the fandom. Just how people left when stancy wasn’t endgame or when their favorite chatacter died or when something happened that they didn’t like. That’s just how life works. They’re gonna lose viewers regardless of what happens because not everyone will be happy with how season four plays out. But at the end of the day, it’s hot like ST is going to lose 25 million viewers because two 14 year olds weren’t endgame. It’s often easy to forget that the fandom doesn’t reflect ST’s viewership. The fandom takes up only a small percentage OF their viewership. So yeah, some fan accounts may deactivate, just like how a lot of bylers left the fandom after season 3. But it’s not like nobody’s going to watch the show, that’s absurd. Mileven isn’t their main cash cow. It isn’t even on the leader board of st’s main cash cows. If anything, Steve dying would make st lose more viewers than Mileven not being end game. And it’s been made more clear recently that a lot of people prefer Jopper over Mileven, especially with the ending of season 3. We gotta remember that, the FANDOM is mainly teenagers however stranger things main demographic and viewership is ADULTS. And I don’t see many 21+ year olds not watching the show because a ship almost 10 years younger than them wasnt end game. Most of st’s viewers don’t care about the romance

TLDR: canon byler would be huge for stranger things and would probably blow up the internet. It’d also be good commercially and financially for stranger things. Also having byler he canon would be so helpful to all the kids and teens and even adults out their struggling with their sexuality and would make so many lgbtq+ kids, teens, and adults feel seen and feel loved and feel validated. Over all, canon byler would do more GOOD then bad.

[demonicintegrity]

I think the problem and misunderstanding you’re going to run into with that group is that while you understand sex and gender are different and treat it as such, there are other trans folks online that seem to blur the lines or attempt to. That and radfems generally don’t believe in gender and think gender, no matter how expressed, are just sexist stereotypes acted out. Idk if you’re going to be speaking the same language, unfortunately. I’m not transphobic but like orbit radblr and have noticed that’s why these arguments are so circular. Not worth engaging.

Oh yeah I know prolong engagement isn’t worth it. Terfs specifically are great at saying things in bad faith. Esp since I’ve already got a random person that jumped in with this charming edition

What a nice and totally sane line of thinking to leap to. Totally done in the good faith of education and discussion.

Which is extra funny and ironic because the original post was referencing another user going through the “I’m not telling you have sex with trans people and you absolutely don’t need to have a sexual attraction to us, that doesn’t make you transphobic. But constantly making our identities into fuckable and not fuckable genitals is disrespectful because it’s dehumanizing as shit.” And terfs immediately leaped to the same (and worse) shit as above.

And yeah, the line absolutely can be blurry at times and that’s okay. My own identity with nonbinary is tied to the queer aspect of I don’t want my gender to be tied to a specific assumption of sex. But not all nonbinary people like that. Some woman do tie their gender to the sex they were born with and common experiences that come with that. That’s okay! That’s identity!

But it’s also why it’s not an accurate blanket statement to say “everyone is X gender because of Y biology.” It’s beyond just having the biology, it’s your relationship with it and how you want to present yourself. And it’s also okay that it takes a second to grasp and understand that, identity is an inherently complex and nuanced thing. Gender labels are broad and there are no wrong ways to be a certain gender.

[rachelillustrates]

Comic review time!

Some thoughts on the Harlivy section of “Love is a Battlefield.”

(Featuring crappy cell phone photos taken as I was reading it on a computer that is not my own, so proper screencaps were not an option.)

🍃💞 Spoilers follow. 💞🍃

Okay, so even though I had read some reviews that accurately called out the toeing-the-line style queerphobia that we so often get with these two Wives, I still went and bought this. I can’t help but hope that voting with our dollars for all Harlivy content that acknowledges them as together, even if they don’t explicitly show it, will lead to more content about them that is open about their love (”Kisses, please.”) ❤

On that note - I haven’t read the rest of the book yet, having jumped right to the section on my girls. But I have been informed that the hetero-presenting couples do get explicit smooches, and that is extremely irritating, in the face of what we got here. We do get a forehead kiss, some decent hand-holding and a very interesting ending (more on that below), but it’s all written in a way that the homophobes/queerphobes could write them off as Gal Pals, again, if they really want to.

To be fair, though, if I clearly spent my whole  adult life with someone in a more-than-friends kind of way, after “accidentally” getting into bed with them after they “accidentally” propositioned me as a joke, and then ended my elderly years with them the way this ended....... that’s gay, folks. Hands down. 

That said, I did actually enjoy this story. It reads romantic to me from an asexual/demisexual perspective, which feels very Ivy to me, so that was kind of nice in and of itself (which doesn’t make the lack of obvious, undeniably physical-romantic evidence fair, per se, but we do live in a world that hypersexualizes everything, and this reads a bit like a Regency/Victorian romance in a sense, to me - with the tamer-than-usual standards of physical affection in public and the undeniable loyalty to each other, regardless. So yeah,  I couldn’t help but like the vibe). 

Here’s some specific moments I have some thoughts on, for the good:

So this one, and this dialogue, just struck me on a personal level because of how my Wife and I are together. She’s not very fond of people either, and my emotional breakdowns are a lot to handle, so I could see us here, and I appreciate that a lot. As always, the fact that Harley is ivy’s exception in her hatred of humanity never ever ever reads as anything other than romantic to me. There is an inherent queerness in that and I am Here For It. 

Again. “Accidentally” misunderstanding. “Accidentally” propositioning. You lived to touch *Ivy* again, Harls. That is specific language. Not to mention the fact that Harley touched Ivy enough to get a rash everywhere means that Ivy didn’t just shove her out of bed. Ahem. 

And as always, the fact that Ivy made a point to immunize Harley against her toxins is also inherently queer, even without the language choices noted above. If she didn’t intend to follow through with physical romantic affection, she wouldn’t have needed to do that, in that moment or in the future - she could have just warned Harley off and been more careful around her, herself. So obviously, if you put any thought into this fact at all, it’s clear what the intention was. 

(The problem is that many people don’t put any thought into it, so unfortunately we need more blatant evidence of their romance, over and over again, to shut the homophobes and denialists down. Which is SO FRUSTRATING, since no one ever questions if Bruce is with Selina, or if Clark is with Lois, whether they ship it or not - they admit that its there, regardless.)

Including this brief moment because even though it’s subtle, Ivy reaching for Harley in a situation where they’re both in danger is a nice touch. 

And same thing, here. They’ve obviously been through a lot in the situation they’re referencing, and Harley’s instinct as her Pam-a-Lamb makes an uneasy alliance is to hold on to her. Solidarity, support. Protective, too, with the guarded look on Harley’s face. I like it. 

Aaaaaaand now we get to the bittersweet ending - I’m including this shot because, even though deathbed-side hand holding can be done platonically too, it’s obviously not platonic here if you weigh it against what we’ve already seen. This is the love of Ivy’s life, dying in front of her, and it’s intense. You can see in in everything - her posture, her expression, the fact that she’s folded Harley’s hand into both of hers. 

But then:

Instead of getting very emotional about it, Ivy has already (and of COURSE she did!) come up with a solution. I’ve seen this referenced as them choosing to die together - but that’s not how it reads to me, at all. I see this as them choosing to live again, taking the chance at a brand new start.

Ivy doesn’t want to die here, but she doesn’t want to live, as she is, without Harley in her life. If they hadn’t done this? Ivy would have passed away too, eventually - the fact that she’s aged right alongside Harls is evidence of that. And then they’d be at the mercy of whatever afterlife may or may not be there - maybe not even reunited in death, if there’s an afterlife at all. 

So of course she leans on science, she leans on the Green, to give them both another chance.

They’re choosing life. And they’re choosing it in the face of the uncertainty of memory loss - what if they don’t feel the same, in their new forms?

But then Harley says this:

How can I not love that?  💞🍃🌱

(Also, fanart will be coming of their new forms - since we didn’t get that, what the hell DC - if/when I’m able to get to it. I’m very busy, but the idea of this new life for them is captivating.)

(In the meantime, more of my existing Harlivy work is available here, among other meta and inspiration posts.)

(And my original comic work is available here.)

Thanks for reading!

[doyelikehaggis]

i’m still gay im still mentally ill i’m slightly less hungover and i couldn’t think of a new way to start this ask

jody in wonderland!!! the superior dream episode *glares at the dumping ground island*

may-li!!! she’s here, she’s queer, she’s an absolute icon!!! wait shit was she the first canonically queer main character??? because i don’t think elektra counts as canonical :((

i will forever have such a soft spot for jody in wonderland. it’s such a fun episode yet so important to jody’s character development. and also oddly full of surreal horror

oh this is also the superior musical episode *glares at joyless division*

hey wait why the fuck does jody side with chloe so often?? you’d think she’d get a bit pissed off that chloe acts like ryan is the worst brother in the world when kingsley exists. dammit now i’m mad that jody and ryan didn’t get more of a friendship

tyler’s character being the one to say “it’s family. you can’t throw it away” just has so many layers to it

crack headcanon: rick being the duchess means that rick’s trans

s2 e1 time, time for baileyyyyyy

here’s an interesting question: where do you think the divide between tbbr and tdg is?? obviously it’s between the two shows, but tdg s1 still feels like tbbr at first. to me, it’s either when gus gets fostered or s2 e1

*sudden realisation i only have a season until ryan shows up* oh god oh fuck i’m not mentally prepared

honestly this is probably one of the most heartbreaking tyler plots in the show?? and they don’t even do it properly??? like if they were gonna do an episode plot about him thinking he’s fat they could’ve at least bothered to actually play it seriously instead of making it another siLLy B-pLoT because the end result has some. concerning implications

mike is great and all but he’s seriously shit at listening to the kids. it’s like he doesn’t actually follow the advice he gave tracy in s1???

grievous bodily harm counter is now at 6!! possibly more!!

entirely valid! iconic intro! why fix what isn't broken?

god, yeah. while I love Tyler figuring out that he likes Jody, 'The Dumping Ground Island' just doesn't quite hit the mark like 'Jody in Wonderland' does. it is iconic and forever will be, as horrifying as frog!mike and walrus!kingsley are. I love that it has Jody use a classic kid's story to help her process the emotions she's going through about giving a witness statement against Kingsley. it feels really accurate to how kids tend to think when dealing with really difficult situations? or maybe that was just my experience, but I think the writers were really smart about how they did it.

unfortunately, Elektra does not count, you're right. while queer characters don't always have to SAY they're queer, simply putting a pride flag in her room doesn't feel like enough. so yeah, May-Li was our first canonically queer character!

that's what I'm saying! the episode is crucial to how Jody grows as a person, and that is a key point in her development. she makes a choice and she goes forward from it stronger than she was before. and yeah, the surreal horror is... surreal. whenever Kingsley shows up, but especially when Jody is stuck in the cage and he's walking towards her smirking? feel like my heart stops every time and this is the moment where you are trapped in fear with the heroine of the story.

now, I may have to disagree on that one; I am actually a bit of a sucker for 'Joyless Division'. while the plot of the episode is a bit odd and doesn't really do much for me, and the songs are a bit cheesy-sounding, there's just something about it that gets me whenever I rewatch it. the songs are stuck in my head for days because they're so damn catchy, whereas I'm always left slightly disturbed and horrified by the songs in 'Jody in Wonderland' lmao.

hm. that is an interesting point you raise. I can't really say why Jody sides with Chloe so often. she might not want to get pissy at her for being so cold with Ryan sometimes because, well, while she knows that there are worse brothers in the world (i.e. her own), it's not her place to tell Chloe how she should feel about her own past trauma? just a thought, I dunno, might be more of a mistake on the writer's part and not actually that deep. maybe Jody felt some empathy with Chloe in a way for how she felt about her brother (not that the situations are at all comparable) and combining that with how often Ryan pissed her off, maybe she found it a bit hard to be too sympathetic toward him BECAUSE of her relationship with Kinglsey. but it could've been nice to get some deeper interactions between the two of them rather than always kind of being at each other's throats and leaving Tyler stuck in the middle kjghdkjh

ooh, damn, yeah, Tyler getting that line uhh makes me have feelings.

baby we are on the exact same page, I have been secretly headcanoning Rick as trans for some time now, and I'm so happy you see it, too. I love the choice to have him as the duchess.

BAILEY!! MY BOY!!

honestly, while I do agree that Gus' leaving episode does feel like a big divide in a way, I don't actually Feel the divide in the two shows until s3 e1. there's something about s2 that still has that kind of gritty TBR vibe to me, especially with 'Experience', 'Finding Frank', 'Be My Girl' and 'Hope'.

RYAN!!

I do definitely think that they could and should have handled that storyline with Tyler better. there should have been a better conclusion to it as well, and honestly I think that maybe that feeling should have stuck with him for a few more seasons just like his concerns about having bipolar disorder like his mum did. it should have been the main plot of the episode, not the b plot, BUT on the other, more positive hand, I do appreciate them doing this storyline with Tyler. there's very little representation of boys/men with eating disorders or body dysmorphia without portraying it in a concerning gym-bro kind of way that's meant to be played for laughs. it was a bit honest about how kids, especially ones who are just at the beginning of becoming a teenager, can pick up a remark about their body and become overly focused on it in an unhealthy way. like I said, I do think that it's a storyline that should have been done over the course of more than one episode and season, so that it's not just a toss away moment, but I also do really like that episode.

yeah, it bugs me how little Mike actually does listen. he used to be pretty good at it, but the writers seem to lose their grip on their character's voices a bit, especially because of how long Mike has been in the Tracy Beaker universe, so sometimes things are going to get a bit out of character. really annoying.

oh wonderful!!

[intersex-culture-is]

Perisex is also part of the almost-forgotten matching word for mogai — cogap — the idea being it’s a more accurate and inclusive way to talk about people whose identities are centred/catered to by society, but like, collectively.

Instead of like, a long list of every identity type when you wanna talk about society or whatever, like cis-straight-allo-perisex, etc, or just using Straight as ‘ppl who aren’t Us’ when there’s straight trans people and I’m sure some nonbinary people who consider themselves straight etc, who are also part of the community.... you could just use COGAP as an easy shorthand —

— Centred Orientations, Gender Alignments & Perisex

I think it’s a useful & quick, easy-to-say word for getting across the reference you’re trying to make when discussing things, and in theory shouldn’t need to be expanded again?

But most people seem to have forgotten it exists :’D

Oh yeah! I never knew about this, though to be fair I wasn't quite yet active in queer communities in 2016, around when MOGAI started to get popular and stuff. That's really cool imo! I definitely agree that we need a word like this. My only worry (besides the whole "what term do we use to refer to non-intersex people" thing) is that people will have no idea what it means, because even when you look up COGAP, the LGBTA wikia page is only a few results down, with other things that use the same acronym for different purposes first. But that's not the term's fault or anything, just an unfortunate circumstance.

[sendme-2hell]

Ranking the books I read in April

aka just ranting about the books I read in april pls ignore me

1. The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson 

I cannot believe this book wasn’t nominated for a Hugo! I like the Hugo list (of the books I’ve read) but cmon. This book is like if you combined the social commentary in The City We Became and the queerness of Harrow the Ninth. Seriously this book had everything I wanted: parallel universes, great character development, social commentary, woc sapphic slow burn, satisfying ending. Also I feel like the title is paying homage to W. E. Dubois which is cool. “Between me and the other world, there is ever an unasked question: How does it feel to be a problem?” Like there is just this very cool idea of talking about other worlds as in literally other universes but also different worlds due to social and racial hierarchies. 

2. Plain Bad Heroines - Emily m. Danforth 

Horror, Hollywood, boarding school, everyone is gay, the narrator talks directly to the reader and it is hilarious, copious footnotes, have I mentioned how many sapphics there are? It’s hard to keep track. Plus polyamory. I just really loved this book and I felt it all came together in a way that was worth it. 

3. Steel Crow Saga - Paul Krueger 

This godamn book. I loved this book so much. I was so ready to yell about it on tumblr and tell people to read it. But apparently the author is someone who has harassed a lot of women so...uh...yeah. Nevermind I guess.

 I do want to say it is the most accurate depicition of a Sherlock Holmes superfan that I have ever seen in media. 

4. The Tiger’s Daughter - K. Arsenault Rivera

What if we went on a long trip on horseback and we were both lesbian warriors...jk unless…

Yeah so I loved this book so much. A lot of it is about navigating familial responsibility, fighting literal and metaphorical demons, fighting the patriarchy, fighting your anger, fighting tigers, etc...and yet I kept thinking to myself “this is the most romantic book I have ever read” and honestly I am gonna stick by that. It also has the “you think me a monster so I will become one” trope which is great. It is set in an Asian-based fantasy world and I did read a goodreads review that said it was as accurate to the countries it draws inspiration from as Leigh Bardugo’s Grishaverse is to the Russian and Scandinavian cultures it takes from. So that’s not great. 

5. Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo

Speaking of! A few months ago I tried to read Shadow and Bone in preparation for the tv show and I could not finish it. The writing was...bad. Anyway I really liked Six of Crows and even though, yeah it’s tropey (I’m looking at you, Helnik backstory), there’s a reason those tropes work. Plus you cannot go wrong with a heist. About halfway through I did realize that there are six mcs and three couples so its kinda just like a giant triple date, which really changed how I read the whole story.

I’m very glad I did read it before seeing the tv show because I was able to be appropriately excited for the Crows and catch the Wylan reference and everything, but I also got to see the Alina stuff without having to read about it. 

6. Crooked  Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo 

I think I somehow liked this even more than Six of Crows, but for narrative simplicity I’ll put it after. I really like it when you put people in an impossible situation and see how they figure it out. Especially if they get out in a clever and reasonably possible way that ties together many different plot threads and has a few good fake-outs. This did all of that, and also developed every character in a way I found satisfying (except [redacted] *cry emoji*). 

Kaz pulls a Baru Cormorant with some money stuff and now I wonder if they would be friends. 

I read this after watching the show which was good because I knew who Zoya and Genya were but bad because there is a point where Nina is like “here is how shadow and bone ends.” She’s just talking to Mattias and casually spoiling everything for me. So there goes my dreams of living spoiler free until the end of the show. 

7. The Miseducation of Cameron Post - Emily m Danforth

My expectations for this book were....very different than it turned out, and I’m glad for it. After reading Plain Bad Heroines I shouldn’t have been surprised at how well written it is. I really appreciated how nuanced it is. It doesn’t spell out its ideas or themes and therefore lets you really sit with them. I would rank it higher but I don’t really enjoy reading about high school. 

8. Foundryside - Robert Jackson Bennett

I love a good found family, especially if at the beginning of the book they are on opposing sides. Enemies to friends = best trope! Also it’s sapphic that’s always good. But the best part of this book was the worldbuilding which was so cool. 

9. Malice - Heather Walter

Remember what I was saying about “you think me a monster so I will become one”? This book is the definition of that trope. Women becoming unhinged after being treated like shit, we love to see it! Especially if it’s gay. I do have to say, authors who write duologies where the first book ends on a cliffhanger, I see what you’re doing but yes, I will be preordering the next book. 

10. Fugitive Telemetry - Martha Wells

I don’t have much to say because Murderbot is so consistently excellent.  uh why is it so cathartic when xenophobes disrespect Murderbot and it’s humans step in and shut that shit down. Gets me every single time. 

11. Queen of Coins and Whispers - Helen Corcoran 

This book was like half romance half politics and unfortunately I did not find the politics that interesting or well written. But the romance was A+. It reminded me of Priory of the Orange Tree a LOT. Though significantly less dragons and I’m taking many points off for that. 

12. The First Sister - Linden A. Lewis

I wanted to like this book a little more than I did. There was just maybe too much body horror for me. Interesting characters and world though. There was  a location named Cytherea that they mentioned a lot and it was very distracting. I guess I still have tlt brainrot. 

13. Shorefall - Robert Jackson Bennett 

I think this book was well plotted out but it didn’t quite have my attention like Foundryside did. Also yet another book where a woman’s girlfriend ends up in her head. This time no one had to die so that’s nice. TM and SD take notes! 

14. The Deathless Girls - Kiran Milwood Hargrave 

Ok I LOVED the Mercies by KMH so I was a little disappointed in this Dracula retelling. It got interesting in the last 50 pages, but unfortunately that is not enough for me.

proud of myself for not reading a single straight book this April 

[antigoneblue]

quick, non-poemmic updates!

i wasn’t going to do this, but then realised that it’s TRULY been a while, so maybe something like this isn’t totally out of order :’) 

some of you might’ve noticed that my old sideblog, @redeyecyanide, no longer exists / is no longer accessible. i figured i’d explain that, so that nobody worries about me or worries that something bad might’ve happened that resulted in that.

i’m also kind of in a new era of my life, so i figured we’d talk that through, as well. i’m happy & content & in a good place - a better place to be in than i’d hoped at this point in time, and it’s something i am grateful for.

and i just want, you know, if anyone’s been reading my work and relating to the despair in some of those poems, or the grief, or the sadness, or any of that - it gets better. it’s getting better for me. it might not feel like it, but it will get better for you too. you just have to be more stubborn than the things that are getting you down - easier said than done, but doable. and so, so worth it.

stuff re: old blog down below! 

~

so well, here’s the whole deal w/ redeyecyanide. while i did not grow up on the internet to the same extent some of my peers did, i was definitely extremely online from when i was around 15 onwards. i don’t regret any of it and i think for the most part i had relatively healthy boundaries going - with a few exceptions, which i can confidently say i have learnt from. 

keeping that aside, as it usually happens when you are 15, and when you come back 7 years later, is that a lot of your beliefs change. i owned redeyecyanide and was active on there primarly when i was ... 18 / 19 / 20, but i was still in the process of learning & unlearning a lot of things. i often made statements that were... not accurate, with sweeping confidence, because i thought i was right. i sometimes generalised things in problematic ways, or made commentary based on my opinions which did not in any way represent how i felt about other people’s opinions. i was honestly very angry at the injustice present in the world, and learning to live with that anger and channel it into something more sustainable, productive, useful and healthy. that wasn’t the easiest thing and in some instances i feel i could’ve handled a lot of things in better and in more objective/calmer ways. 

basically, i deleted that blog because it felt like a very “there’s a lot to unpack but let’s throw away the whole suitcase” kind of moment. my values are still the same, i’m still firmly anti bigotry, but i’m also 100% sex positive / anti swerf, provided there’s informed consent btwn people who can consent & all that good stuff - which is a value i always believed in but, at the time, i hadn’t done enough unlearning to be as sex positive as i wanted. kink-shaming doesn’t make sense to me anymore, esp not under the guise of “social justice”. 

since we’re on tumblr, i unfortunately need to add that assuming people are p*dophiles at the drop of a hat, just because someone said so, definitely does not sit right with me. that’s a serious, serious allegation, and it’s important not to throw around allegations like that over... somebody shipping drarry, or whatever the new ship that everyone hates is. let’s not make callout posts for everyone under the sun, moon & solar system, please. save it for when it’s important.

i’m also 100% radically inclusive when it comes to lgbtq+ identities. i support any and all good faith identity & pronouns (and by good faith i mean, identities that are sincere/genuine and not made to poke fun at people or be degrading) and i honestly think most lgbt+ discourse is unnecessary because another person’s gender/sexuality is not your business - which is something i have always believed, but now i know that if i have to choose sides, i choose the people who are quietly existing, rather than the people who believe they shouldn’t exist or should exist elsewhere. 

i identify as “queer”, i do not identify as “lgbt” or “lgbtq” or “lgbtqia” or any other acronym. no shade at people who prefer those, just doesn’t work for me anymore. 

yeah, that’s about it. thanks for reading all the way, if you did :’) hope everyone’s doing well! 

[incarnateirony]

Me, only casually liking cockles and apparently not following anyone involved in drama: what... TF is going on? Who is Patrick.

Okay so Patrick is an unfortunately popular account that loves to accuse me of random things like cult like language because I don’t release my information (despite all the scripts I’ve posted) while he tells everyone he’s going to ask his super secret inside source of BlurryFaceCoffeeRunner to confirm whatever random detail he’s about to editorialize. He generally fails actual fact checks or in the very least a lot of it falls down and you realize it went through three translation chambers before he framed it for the public, but he’s just accurate enough that people continue to buy into his stuff and run into his DMs per his request. But sure, I’m the cultish one.

*rubs temples* anyway, Patrick poses as a multishipper that supports Destiel and Misha but hangs out with famous antis like quickreaver, and tends to get into manipulative discourse like shitting in one hand to say there’s not enough proof Dean is bi and fans are pushing things, only to turn around and because he prefers other ships say things like “Sam is canon queer because there’s no proof he ISN’T.” and then acts like he can’t see why people are calling him a hypocrite. The gaslighting levels are EXTREME.

Anyway, Patrick--known as tfwbtw or teamfreewillbettertogether -- is now opportunistically jumping on cockles fandom to shit on them all over the behavior of one dude who has like, maybe a handful of defenders while most people--cockles shippers or otherwise--are disgusted by his behavior.

This other guy’s name is MikesChaoticGay or something like that, but we just call him Man On Twitter. Man On Twitter has had some majestically fucked up takes, a sovereign of shit posting as a presentation, a ruler of rich horse shit.

Takes include: 

- Cockles owe us to come out, especially Jensen, as a form of representation

- Someone should confront them/Jensen about their relationship at a con.

- They shouldn't "act gay" if they don't want to be outted.

- They should stop "acting gay" if they don't come out.

- Everyone should blast whatever evidence they have of them being together on main, and if a media outlet picks it up, *good*--his take, not mine.

- Warped takes via Pat’s pre-existing megaphone about Pat’s framed question and how Jensen nodded along. 

- Hankies can only be used for queer code signaling. The BDSM straights can not apply. Cowboys can not apply. Jensen is clearly signaling he likes fisting on stage. He demands proof that anyone in texas uses hankies.

See, Pat framed “My male friend said he sees Castiel’s confession as brothers in arms, what do you think?” to which Jensen replied, “I could buy that.”

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard someone say “I could buy that” as their first thought as much as, yeah sure, I guess someone could take it like that. That’s not a “yeah, it’s brothers in arms”, it’s “huh, didn’t think about it like that, but you do you.” But then Pat got fandom worked up over this take and then Man On twitter amplified this take and said Jensen made it relative and that Fucks The Queers rather than him trying not to disrespect someone’s take or whatever which he gets flamed over any time he does it. 

So now Man On Twitter has decided Jensen owes everyone coming out for representation for the “wrongs” he’s done and should be confronted about it or even outted by media taking notice, because apparently Man On Twitter didn’t learn from the Misha/Bill Clinton trend incident AT ALL. Then Pat comes back around and points at Man On Twitter to say LOOK HOW AWFUL THE COCKLES FANS ARE.

Like it’s literally them wanking each other off mutually and I’d really love for them to get a room to work out their tension and leave us--and JenMish-- out of it entirely. Instead Man On Twitter is writing these filibuster rants that take 8 screencaps to post and pretend he's a victim for his behavior being called out and like

Anyway beyond who Pat's choosing to shit on and who he's talking to and who they're shitting on, removing that element, Man On Twitter is so fucked up we've reached a point where Pat is even making sense and I want to get out of this timeline.

[the-lincyclopedia]

Fic writer questions I never get asked

Thanks for the tag, @khashanakalashtar! This is an interesting list! 

What date did you make your AO3 profile? What date did you post your first fic?

I joined AO3 on February 5, 2018. Seriously. I was FFN-only for so long. I posted my first fics on AO3 the day I joined. My first fics ever to hit the internet, however, were published on July 13, 2011, which is when I got my FFN account.

Do you cross-post your work?

Yeah, still. When I first got my AO3 account, I posted a bunch of things that were already on my FFN account, and these days I put basically everything on both. I like that FFN gives a pretty accurate and nearly complete timeline of my fanworks, which is the main reason I’m still posting there. Nothing I’ve posted there in the past three years has gotten much engagement, and I know the site is dying. 

What’s your fic with the most comment threads? The most bookmarks? Are the top 5 of those categories basically the same, and basically the same as the top 5 kudos?

Top 5 by comment threads: 

Face the Future with You (Check Please)

Man Oh Man, You’re My Best Friend (Check Please)

It’s Always You (Check Please)

Love in the Time of Influenza (Carry On)

I Love You, All Right? (Check Please)

Top 5 by bookmarks: 

Love in the Time of Influenza (Carry On)

The Aftermath of Angelic Assumptions (Good Omens)

Man Oh Man, You’re My Best Friend (Check Please)

Nightmares (Carry On)

Christmas Planning (Carry On)

Top 5 by kudos: 

Love in the Time of Influenza (Carry On)

Face the Future with You (Check Please)

Nightmares (Carry On)

The Aftermath of Angelic Assumptions (Good Omens)

Christmas Planning (Carry On)

So basically the Check Please fandom comments more and the Carry On fandom is more into bookmarks and kudos, and there’s more of a correlation between kudos and bookmarks than between either of those and comments. 

What’s the word count of your longest fic or series?

“The Jumper Chronicles,” my longest fic on FFN, is 111,223 words. I abandoned it in 2015 and I really would not recommend it. On AO3, my longest fic is “who could ask to be unbroken (or be brave again)” at 14,772 words. It’s part of my longest series on AO3: “Samwell Men’s Harmonies” at 29,921 words. 

What’s your most underrated fic?

MOST underrated? I have 132 fics on AO3, so there are a lot of potential answers. I guess I’ll pick my work with literally the fewest kudos: it’s a charming little rhyming poem about Harry Potter called “The Willow May Whomp You.” It has two kudos, fewer than 70 hits, no bookmarks, and no comments. I was so proud of it when I finished it, and AO3 really did not care. 

Does your early work contain any writing sins?

I had heard that not breaking up your dialogue was bad (which it’s not? Who told me this? Why did I believe them? Ugh), and I thought that adding adverbs to dialogue tags constituted breaking up your dialogue. So I had lots of unnecessary beats and adverbs and internal monologue mixed up in what otherwise might have been passable dialogue scenes. (I don’t remember whether this came up a ton in my fics and I don’t feel like looking, but I remember it pretty clearly in the original stuff I was working on back then.)

Have you ever had a work podficced?

Yes! I requested it for Fandom Trumps Hate, though, so I don’t know if it counts, exactly. It’s not like someone read my work and approached me about podding it. Anyway, my Yuri on Ice fic “When and If” has a podfic version. 

Have you posted any podfics? Fanvids? Fanart?

I was going to say no, and then I remembered that back in, like, 2009, I tried to make a couple Romione fanvids, one to Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me” and one to “I’m Not That Girl” from Wicked. Unfortunately for everyone involved, I didn’t have a clue how to pull bits of video from a movie (still don’t, actually), so they were basically slideshows. I’ve long since taken them down from YouTube and the computer I made them on has long since died, so I can’t prove any of this to you, but . . . uh, yeah. That happened. 

Are there any trends in your favorite ships?

I feel like there have been, like, eras of my shipping. When I first started shipping (i.e. before I realized I’m queer), it was basically “girl I can project on” shipped with “literally whoever her canon love interest is, regardless of anything about him” (Romione, Percabeth). Then it was “asshole guy” shipped with “other guy who interfaces between the asshole guy and the rest of the world” (Johnlock, Otayuri to a lesser extent). I feel like it’s becoming “broken person whose coping mechanism is meanness” shipped with “broken person whose coping mechanism is sunshine” (Zimbits, maybe Snowbaz). This is pretty similar to the asshole x interface-with-world, but the relationship is a little more mutual and balanced, and the mean one has a better excuse for being mean. 

Do you have fandoms you’ve written a lot for? Fandoms you’ve only written a one-off for?

Fandoms I’ve written a lot for: Check Please, Carry On, Harry Potter, Sherlock, Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and Yuri on Ice. (I’m defining “a lot” as at least five fics, and please note that I’ve got a 30k Lizzie Bennet Diaries fic that’s only on FFN because I really don’t like the ending.)

Fandoms I’ve only written one-offs for: Discworld, Turtles All the Way Down, Maleficent, the Chronicles of Narnia, Paper Towns, Six of Crows, Hoot, the Odyssey, Song of the Lioness, and Downton Abbey. (There are multiple other fandoms with two fics each.)

What fandom got you into fandom?

Harry Potter. I’d been writing next gen fics for like two years when a school acquaintance shared an FFN link to a Marauders fic on Google Buzz and I was hooked. 

Do you have a strategy for summaries?

I try to describe the premise/first part of the plot, and I add notes that might be relevant (i.e., major trigger warnings or other things that might put people off). I don’t use quotes, either from the story or from anywhere else. 

Do you use beta readers? For what? Do you have a go-to beta?

Occasionally for plot/general “is this good?” type feedback, or if they’re mandatory for an event, I guess. (I’m doing my first bang, so that’s a new thing for me.) I don’t feel the need to use a beta for spelling, grammar, or punctuation since I’m a semi-professional copyeditor. These days I do read most things to my QPP over the phone before publishing them. That’s usually more of a cheer-reading situation than a beta situation, though. 

I tag @doggernaut @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @birlcholtz @cricketnationrise and anyone else who wants to play! 

[mermaidsirennikita]

My personal enjoyment in HR (as a poc, but I’m not south Asian), kind of demands ignoring where all the $$ for the balls and stately homes etc is coming from…so Bridgerton bringing India to the forefront and constantly reminding you where the nobility got the money to fund their lifestyles is so dumb?? It’s no longer escapism and it is potentially very distracting from the romance. It could have a particular unfortunate coloring of Anthony/Kate since he’s literally in parliament!

Right, I think that HR is in the midst of attempting to reconcile where all that money comes from... And yes, you can have self-made and lower class heroes and heroines, who are not connected to the aristocracy. But it's almost impossible for them to become self-made without crossing paths with the aristocracy. For example, Derek Craven in Dreaming of You came from nothing but made his money running a gambling house, which was most definitely frequented by aristocrats, so like... Yeah, he benefited from the system still.

Then you have the aristocrats who get into business, like Sebastian St. Vincent. Most of them still have some element of family money, or land, or whatever.

As a white woman who wants to write historical romance, the only conclusion I can come to is that white writers need to stick to what they know, and focus more on promoting diversity by uplifting and promoting writers of color. There are historical settings in which people of color can have a more dominant role--see Jeannie Lin's Tang Dynasty series, Beverly Jenkins's books, Alyssa Cole's novels. But like... Beverly and Alyssa still have to confront racism in their books. And I think they're a fuckton more qualified to handle that, and every other aspect of writing people of color, than we as white writers are.

This doesn't mean that white authors can't or shouldn't have people of color in their books... I just think that it needs to be done with much more deftness than it typically is. Even authors who write supporting characters who are poc in historical romance usually do so with like a vague allusion ("the darkskinned man who works at the club the hero owns", "the black woman who's friends with the white heroine") and there's like... Idk, to me there's this vibe that you can tell that they're scared of it and they don't know what to do. And it's like, if you're so fucking worried that you're going to fuck it up with every sentence you write, you probably are going to fuck it up. If you're going to do it, you need to really, really fucking educate yourself beforehand and accept that you may very well get called out later, rightfully.

And ultimately, I do think a lot of readers of color want to see themselves in historical romance, but a lot of them are also okay with reading pure escapism about white people who would probably be horrible if they existed irl. (And y'all should be allowed to have both, ffs.) The ideal world would make both equally available--historical romances written by white people about white people, and historical romances written by poc about poc. To me, the biggest, most pressing issure right now is that historical romance does not have enough marginalized people writing in the subgenre. Not just poc, but disabled authors, queer authors... That's where the diversity is needed--not so much in people who aren't marginalized writing characters that are, and fucking up horrendously.

The reality is that historical romance is pretty much a fantasy in every way. The idea of love matches, of people of similar ages getting married often, the hot sex, the good hygiene, the lack of death in childbirth--it's a fucking fantasy. It's not representative of the real world, but it does model itself after a real history. I think writers are usually better off working with the fantasy. Let the fucking "wallflower historical" stigma go away, because nobody wants to read the more "accurate" Georgette Heyer books anymore and get bashed over the head with racism, antisemitism, etc.

I think you CAN tackle serious issues like racism, sexism, pregnancy loss, homophobia, ableism, mental illness in historical romance. I think it can be done, and it is done, and it's done well by some. But when you're someone like the people in the Bridgerton writers' room, who are largely people who have nothing to do with the Indian experience writing about the Indian experience... Dude, it's just not great. Like. I've gotta think that if those writers' room was less dominated by white writers, someone would've been like "isn't Anthony in parliament?" So easy to avoid.

[marzipanandminutiae]

Have you seen the youtube video "We need to talk about the costumes in Bridgerton" ? and if so what are your thoughts. I feel like critiquing the (lack of) historical accuracy in the costumes doesn't have anything to do with the idea that the show is not historically accurate because it has Black characters. Because these are VERY different people who are responding in these ways, ie people who care about historical accuracy versus plain old racists & it's toxic to imply they are the same people

I have now.

She started out with a very clear point: if you jump into discussions among people, especially viewers of color, who are excited about the show to rag on the costumes, that’s unnecessary. If you roast the costumes in Br*dgerton but not popular white-led period dramas, that’s a double-standard. Both sentiments I heartily agree with!

And then kind of takes a hard left turn into implying that criticizing the costumes at all is somehow bad, racist, or gatekeeping.

Frankly I don’t see how any of that is true. I’m not telling people who like the costumes that they’re Wrong and Bad for feeling that way. I’m not telling people they can’t sit with us in the historical costuming world if they enjoy the show- or even the costumes specifically. I’m not inserting myself into conversations among fans. 

I’m being critical of the costumes and only the costumes, on my personal blog, with an audience of people who followed me and therefore signed up for this content. That’s it. Are there some critical people interjecting themselves where they aren’t wanted? Probably. There are assholes in every community. But most of the criticism I, personally, have seen is in unrelated spaces dedicated to discussing costumes from a specifically historical point of view.

The creator of the video was right that it’s a double standard to criticize inaccurately costumed movies with leads of color and not ones with predominately or entirely white casts. However, I don’t think the answer is to give racially diverse movies a total pass. Any more than I think movies about queer people should get one- see also: my deep-seated loathing of D*ckinson. If reasonably accurate costuming is a thing you care about, you should care about it across the board. Be sensitive to time and place vis a vis expressing that frustration, especially if you’re white. It’s not productive or kind to butt into a discussion of how this opens the door for more people of color in period dramas with “UGH THE COSTUMES.” But. Yeah.

Also I hardly think it’s “punching down,” as the video says, to criticize the choices of a professional (white) Hollywood designer. Ellen Mirojnick is not the actors, nor the fans. She’s a grown adult artist who made her decisions knowing she would face varied reactions.

I don’t know. It’s just this weird attitude that I’ve seen in the Historybounding FB group, too- that any critique of inaccuracy, period, is somehow being mean or “not creating a welcoming space.” I understand it re: private individuals- if someone showed up to a historical event wearing an exact replica of a dress from Br*dgerton and seemed really excited to wear it, the only correct response would be to smile and tell them they looked lovely. Don’t be a jerk.

But like. Folks. Big-name film/TV designers are not in this community, and are not trying to be. You’re not “gatekeeping” if you snark on their apparent allergy to bonnets. You don’t have to be hyper-positive Merry Sunshine all the time.

I don’t think the video was meant to come off as a blanket vilification of all criticism of the costumes in Br*dgerton. But that’s sort of the implication I got from it, intentional or not. And that’s...kind of unfortunate.

(Also, just to be clear, I am not an anti-Br*dgerton crusader. I don’t go here. I can’t speak about it on literally any other axis than costuming, because that’s my Thing. And I generally avoid non-fantasy historical media with super-inaccurate costumes, precisely since I don’t like that. Except for the occasional self-indulgent hate-watching.)

(I’m actually thinking a lot more right now about bonnets I want to make in the future. But this keeps popping up on my radar, so...)

[lokigodofaces]

Michelle, Marvel & Pride 22

Link to questions.

What is the biggest pet peeve you have in relation to the Marvel fandom(s) and the LGBTQ+ community? (Things like being annoyed by fetishization of queers or complete denial of queerness or heteronormativity or allonormativity or a compulsion to make things romantic or discrimination you’ve face, stuff like that).

I don't always talk about this because I don't want to cause misunderstandings, but here we go.

And sorry if I'm incoherent.

I've been accused of being homophobic because I don't ship mlm or wlw often. There are a few reasons for this. I'm arospec, and it's pretty common for arospec people to not do a lot of shipping. I also headcanon lots of characters as aro, arospec, ace, or acespec, so that lessens shipping possibilities. Or, with characters that aren't confirmed queer, I don't headcanon those characters as queer and thus don't ship them in mlm or wlw formats. Or the queer characters I do ship are in canon ships I either don't mind or ship myself.

And I have a big problem with all of this.

1: Not every queer person is queer in a way that allows gay ships. For example, I headcanon Nebula as aroace. I will say I headcanon her as queer, then people are mad when I don't ship her with Mantis. Aroaces are queer. So my statement was accurate. But people assume queer = gay, when queer is an umbrella term for anyone that isn't cisgender, heteroromantic, or heterosexual, or is polyamorous.

2: Nothing says that I have to ship every single person. There is no rule that I have to ship my favs or else. If I never shipped a single ship, I could still be in fandom.

3: Bi/pan/ply/omni people can be in "straight passing" ships and still be queer. I remember especially when Bucky went on a date with a girl and there were hints of a romance between him and Sarah that people were pissed about this. Everyone wants him and Sam to be a couple (but me, but we'll move onto that in a bit). And there's nothing wrong with that. But there were people straight up saying Marvel was ruining Bucky by giving him female love interests and that Marvel hated queer people and were taking Bucky away from the queers. But the most common queer headcanon I see for Bucky is bisexual. Yeah, there are some that see him as homosexual, or me that sees him as greybisexual, but bi is by far the most common. Yet people still shouted about how Marvel was ruining queer rep by making Bucky flirt with a girl even though he, as a bi man, would be 100% allowed to do that. Bucky dating a girl doesn't make him any less queer. And there were hints of Bucky not being heterosexual. The tiger picture thing, that's more of a gay men phenomena. So, yeah, the show subtly said Bucky is mspec. But, no, me shipping bisexual characters in "straight passing" ships isn't homophobic, you're just biphobic. Same goes for pansexuals, omnisexuals, and polysexuals.

4: Queerplatonic relationships are never treated as enough. There are definitely those that treat qprs as "not enough" queer representation, and thus claiming people like me that ship qprs are still homophobic for not wanting to imagine characters being romantic or sexual partners. Again, with TFATWS it was annoying because I ship sambucky as a qpr. I have nothing against the romantic and/or sexual sambucky stuff, but I am annoyed by those that say a qpr "isn't enough."

5: We don't all have the same headcanons. For example, I don't ship ironstrange because to me neither of them are queer. I'm not homophobic for not shipping ironstrange. I don't headcanon Tony or Stephen as queer. I would be homophobic if I was completely against all ironstrange content because it was homosexual, which I'm not (I don't care that people ship it, it's just not me).

So, if any of that makes sense, that's kind of the thing that annoys me most in Marvel fandom and fandom in general in relation to LGBTQ+ stuff.

Also, it's not the majority of the fandom doing this, I've just had a couple of unfortunate experiences and people who are jerks are always super loud.

Previous | Next

[nodelinquent]

an obnoxiously long liveblog where i react to the swedish dub of the steven universe movie (warning: i actually like dubs and wont constantly complain, sorry).

"come live with us in the palace, you can stay here FOREVER" jesus christ lmao

steven's voice finally fits lmao

wait it's sadie THRILLER in swedish????

some of these rhymes are impressive but hus and ljus? not great gang fdsjkhf

wow ok the lyrics for steven's part in here we are in the future is uuuh not great??? like they threw words in at random

FUCKING.... PäRLAN..... hate that still

they didnt translate homeworld..... im crying why is the dub LIKE THIS....

BUT KINDERGARDEN SHOULD BE TRANSLATED I SEE HOW IT IS LMAO

i do wanna show this movie to my nephew, he really liked watching the su clips i showed him back in the day.... i think it's the bright colors and singing honestly lmao

OK SHUT UP EVERYONE SPINEL IS COMING!!!!!!!!!

OH.... idk if i recognize this voice actress?? she sounds so cute

amethyst just said "pucko" and i feel blessed lmao

who IS this girl??? i like her but WHO IS SHE

lets hear her sing ahhhhhh

"ive listened plenty of times to steven's refrain, oh how fun it is to finally meet pink's gang" I LOVE THAT.....

the song is a lil meaner to steven specifically i kinda love it lmao

the actress does a good job kinda copying spinel's voice and laugh without overdoing it, i think? it's nice i like her!!

they missed the opportunity to almost have greg say "shit" and i will never forget, never forgive.

god the way they translated some of these lyrics makes it even MORE confusing to understand what's happening lmao

i recognize ruby and sapphire's voice actresses, veterans

theres actually a lot of talented veterans in swedish su, even if ppl complain all the time abt them lmao

like man steven's voice actor is finally allowed to emote now that he doesnt have to sound like a baby all the time

idk how i feel abt bismuth... i dont think ive heard her before so it might just be like, shock fhshjdshfds

bismuth's voice is very interesting??? she seems to have a lisp or smth? man i kinda like it?? too bad she has to sing THE WORST SONG IN THE MOVIE..........

"krullhåriga" is accurate yes but god they should have used "lockhåriga"....

"isn't it love" in swedish is very good, i have no complaints

i wonder how much of the cast is woc

one of my favorite songs is coming up ahhhhhhh

oh it's cuute.... the "no matter what"-end part could have been stronger but it's good!!

"what are you doing here now huh what?" like those old anime dubs...

they used "backa undan" but "håll dig undan" would have sounded more natural imo

"i'm back you nut" again, im blessed

half of the time i cant tell if the written lines are bad or if it's the actors dinking them up and no one bothering to fix it

YEAH IT'S SADIE THRILLER????? im crying that makes no sense lmao

man am i excited to hear steg

"disobedient" is also okay fjsdhfds

i wonder if these are on swedish spotify fdshkfsd (theyre not and never will be)

OOOOOOH I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! good voice

"independent together" is VERY GOOOOD AHHHHH they're using a word thats more like "unbound/unfettered together" and thats very sexy lmao

OPAL??? her voice is omg??? not prepared. it's good tho lmao

they dont use happily ever after, instead they say "promising future" and idk how i feel abt that

we're getting to HERE IN THE GARDEN

theyre so hit and miss with the lyrics in swedish dub su so im very scared

HOMEWORLD im still not over that lmao WHY DID THEY NOT TRANSLATE IT?!?!?

here in OUR garden????

"och sen så log hon, till min förtjusning, ögonen blänkte, det var sån berusning" ("and then she smilled, to my delight, eyes shining, it was such an intoxication")  is actually SUCH a good translation ahhhhh

i quite like "gled iväg" for "drift away" too... it's the word we use for things like "slip out of my hands (gled mig ur händerna)". like she just WATCHED pink slip out of her hands.... ahhh

"she doesn't exist anymore, only the son is left, what am i waiting for now?" MAKES ME VERY SAD LMAO

"i feel so RAW" DANG....

overall "drift away" was also good, nice job ya dinguses

i wish there were subtitles bc it took me several listens to realize spinel was very quickly shouting "JUST POUR SALT IN MY WOUNDS WHY DONTCHA"

"Found" is interesting bc they make it sound like Spinel needs romantic love and not like, general love fdjskhfdsk also instead of found it's "needed" which is hm.... i mean.... a lil messed up fdskjf

i rly like connie's voice, idk if ive said that yet

spinel's voice actor cant quite be as unhinged as og spinel, but she's trying and she's good!! we stan!!!

"true kinda love" is also good, they say "cause i believe in love" which is cute... excited to hear steven's lil bit in it

wow... steven's bit was bad, very disappointing.

steven's voice actor is so good wtf??

why did they use "förgöra" (destroy) instead of kill??? the cowards at swedish CN can fight me

theres no good translation for "change" in swedish, which is very unfortunate for this bit of the movie kfdskdsfhds

steven's swedish voice actor obviously does not hold a candle to zach callison BUT it's extra bad when he sings lmao

ok i REALLY love the lyrics they did for "change" like good job gang i wanna learn this version and sing it all the time

"let us adore you reprise" is also good, now it makes sense why they used love like that in "found", so it'd match up with this

ok steven's voice actor could pull off the high notes for "happily ever after reprise" but he missed it so many other times bfdkshfhdskds DO RE-TAKES PLEASE SWEDISH CN I BEG???

overall this dub was good, i think?? at least they didnt censor any queers this time fdshjdsfjkfjds

[kyberphilosopher]

Important Information

Rules:

I am a minor. As such, smut can not be requested and can not be written. As a compromise, smutty themes can be used as overtones or undertones, often vaguely or simply eluded to. But pure smut? Not for a few months, which is when I’ll be 18. Sorry horndogs. 

Please request through the submission inbox, or my direct messages. Further more, be polite. Be clear. If I ask a question to clear something up, answer it. Don’t let it dangle. I will always ask if there’s anything else you so desire (a word count, any details) so please tell me if there’s nothing else or if there is. English is also not my first language. 

Do not request something against canon. I have written like that before and did not enjoy that. This means if something is considered canon, say Star Wars, such as a line of dialogue or something shown on screen, I would refuse to write you into it. I feel that it distorts the fiction so much you wouldn’t really be in it, and the characters wouldn’t be themselves anymore. Allow me to write you into the world as a side character, as something not shown directly but something that could fit into canon. 

Some fictional characters have different versions of them. For example, Movie Anakin Skywalker, and the Clone Wars Anakin Skywalker. Ben Affleck Batman, or Christian Bale Batman? Or even, Comic Accurate Batman? Specify for me. If not specified after asking for it, I will write the character with headcanon information pulled from multiple ‘canon’ sources. This will be referred to as ‘headcanoned canon’.

Reblog my stuff? Absolutely. I see all my reblogs. But take it an post it to a different site? No. Don’t do that. Maybe I’ll spread over to Ao3 one day, but for now, please don’t. 

Last one I can think of for now. But luckily this can be updated over time. I don’t write drabbles. I know! But just imagine all the times you’ve read a fic so good, only for it to end so soon. I like the thought of writing something both high quality and high quantity, which means I won’t be satisfied with anything under 2,000 words. Unfortunately, this may sometimes come at the expense of time. Especially if what you requested doesn’t fit into my current hyperfixation. 

List of Characters I’ve Written, or Am Open to Writing:

Aayla Secura, Star Wars (Clone Wars)

Ahsoka Tano, Star Wars (Clone Wars and Live Action)

Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars (Clone Wars and Live Action)

Asaaj Ventress, Star Wars (Clone Wars and Books)

Boba Fett, Star Wars (Live Action Original Movies and The Mandalorian)

Bodhi Rook, Star Wars (Rogue One)

Bo-Katan Kryze, Star Wars (Clone Wars and The Mandalorian)

Cal Kestis, Star Wars (Jedi: Fallen Order, Beginning and End of Game)

Cassian Andor, Star Wars (Rogue One)

Darth Maul, Star Wars (Clone Wars)

Din Djarin, Star Wars (The Mandalorian)

Finn, Star Wars (Live Action Sequel Trilogy)

Jyn Erso, Star Wars (Rogue One)

Leia Skywalker, Star Wars (Live Action Original Movies)

Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, Star Wars (Clone Wars and Live Action)

Padme Amidala, Star Wars (Clone Wars and Live Action)

Poe Dameron, Star Wars (Live Action Sequel Trilogy)

Rey, Star Wars (Live Action Sequel Trilogy)

Rex, Star Wars (Clone Wars)

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Batman, DC Comics (All Live Action, All Comic, Arkhamverse, All Animated, Headcanoned Canon)

Bane, DC Comics (Games)

Barry Allen/The Flash, DC Comics (All Live Action, Headcanoned Canon)

Black Canary, DC Comics (Birds of Prey Live Action Movie)

Bruce Wayne, DC Comics (All Live Action, Headcanoned Canon)

Catwoman/Selina Kyle, DC Comics (Headcanoned Canon)

Christopher Smith/Peacemaker, DCEU (All Live Action, Headcanoned Canon)

Cleo Cazo/Ratcatcher 2, DCEU (Live Action)

Conner Kent/Superboy, DC Comics (Titans, All Animated)

Damian Wayne, DC Comics (Animated and Injustice)

Dick Grayson, DC Comics (Titans, All Comic, Arkhamverse, All Animated, All Versions)

Harley Quinn, DC Comics (All Live Action, All Comic, Arkhamverse, All Animated Versions)

Jason Todd/Red Hood, DC Comics (Headcanoned Canon, Arkhamverse, All Animated, Titans, All Versions)

Katana, DC Comics (2016 Suicide Squad Live Action Movie)

Poison Ivy, DC Comics (Arkhamverse, All Comic, All Animated, Headcanoned Canon)

Tim Drake/Red Robin, DC Comics (Arkhamverse, All Comic, All Animated, Headcanoned Canon)

Raven, DC Comics (Headcanoned Canon, All Animated, All Comics, All Titans)

Robert Dubois/Bloodsport, DC Comics (DCEU Live Action)

Scarecrow/Johnathon Crane, DC Comics(All Live Action, Arkhamverse, Headcanoned Canon)

Starfire/Koriand’r, DC Comics (Titans, All Comics, All Animated, Headcanoned Canon)

Superman/Clark Kent, DC Comics (Cavill’s Live Action, All Animated, All Comics)

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Annie Leonhardt, Shingeki no Kyojin (Marley Resident, Season 1-3, Season 4, Titan Form)

Bertholdt Hoover, Shingeki no Kyojin (Marley Resident, Season 1-3)

Carla Jaeger, Shingeki no Kyojin (Pre Beginning)

Eren Jaeger, Shingeki no Kyojin (Season 1-3, Season 4, Titan Form)

Hanji Zoe, Shingeki no Kyojin (All Seasons and OVA)

Jean Kirchstein, Shingeki no Kyojin (Season 1-3, Season 4)

Levi Ackerman, Shingeki no Kyojin (All Seasons and OVA)

Marco Bodt, Shingeki no Kyojin (Season 1)

Mikasa Ackerman, Shingeki no Kyojin (Season 1-3, Season 4)

Moblit Berner, Shingeki no Kyojin (All Seasons and OVA)

Sasha Braus, Shingeki no Kyojin (Season 1-3, Season 4)

L Lawliet, Death Note (Season 1)

Ryuk, Death Note (Season 1)

Touta Matsuda, Death Note (Season 1)

Raye Penber and Naomi Matsura (Season 1, Pre Beginning, Throuple Headcanon Canoned)

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Connor RK800, Detroit: Become Human (Deviant, Android, Mid and Post Game)

Chloe RT600, Detroit: Become Human (Deviant, Android, Pre, Mid, and Post Game)

Gavin Reed, Detroit: Become Human (Mid and Post Game)

Kara AX400, Detroit: Become Human (Post Game)

Luther TR400, Detroit: Become Human (Pre and Post Game)

Markus RK200, Detroit: Become Human (Pre, Mid, and Post Game)

Nines RK900, Detroit: Become Human (Post Game)

North WR400, Detroit: Become Human (Pre, Mid, and Post Game)

Other Worlds and Fandoms Coming Soon. 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

What You Can Expect From Me:

Fanfiction

Headcanons- While I’d consider all of my fanfiction headcanons, I’m referring to those little bullet point things you’ll see writers do. Here’s my deal on that. I won’t do romantic headcanons for the characters listed above. By that I mean you won’t see anything titled, “How Poe Dameron Would Cuddle”, or anything of that sort. But you probably will see just my own little headcanons for fun. Like, little fun facts. You know, “Superman’s favorite food is ____”, “Nines hates rats”.

However, I will write romantic headcanons for my OC’s. But that’s for later.

Further regarding fanfiction, I typically write angst. Not sure why, it’s just what I started with because I thought the plots were strongest and I wanted to see where I could take it. Like I said, no smut, but you’ll find allusions to it. Fluff? Yeah, it’s there. Hard for me to write fluff without a plot, but it does exist on my page. 

Original Stories

Most people ignore this, but if you see that I’ve posted it won’t always be something regarding your favorite character. I write my own little stories that’s basically just glorified, book length headcanons for a few worlds, but mostly the Star Wars galaxy. Don’t worry, there’s no need to pay attention to it if you don’t want. It’s something I do in my spare time besides x readers and oneshots. 

Spontaneous Posting

What I mean by this, is that unlike a lot of writers, I don’t work on a schedule. There’s no “once a week posting”, or anything like that. What I finish and give the okay to, is posted. If you’ve requested something, I’ll let you know that it’s about to go out. So sometimes a burst of fics may be pumped out in a week, or none will for up to a month.

Going by EST, I typically am most active at night and early morning. Especially in the summer. During fall this may change.

I rarely put out a post that is unrelated to my writings. If it is related to my personal life instead, it will be posted, but not saved. Documented and available, but never pinned or anything. 

FAQ:

Do you write queer pairings?

Yes. My earlier works usually elude to a female reader and it’s blaringly obvious, though it’s shifting into androgyny for ease of reader. I would prefer to have an androgynous reader instead of a set in stone male or female one. 

Am I reading a queer fanfic written by a straight person?

You are not. I am androgynous myself in terms of gender and unlabeled in terms of sexuality. 

Do you write for poc?

This question shocks me, though I’ve gotten it twice. Then I realized- it’s because so many writers forget the point of a reader. The reader may be described as blonde, or white, or thin, or female. You will not find that here. There will be no set in stone appearance for the reader except for mentions of whatever hair you may possess (apologies to those without hair). There will be no talk of ‘light skin’, or ‘curvy figure’. The farthest I’ll go is describing you as pale, if say, you were sick. Because any race or skin tone can go pale, you know? The only thing I’d do- rarely- is give you a real age. But only to further the plot if needed.

 My point is, ‘Y/N’ is not just a pretty white person with long hair. It’s inclusive to anyone. I’ll stand by that. 

Do you write headcanons?

Answered in the above section. Long story short, I’m working on it, but on my terms. 

Do you write song fics?

I haven’t before. Why? They make me cringe. I don’t know why. I’ll write a fic based on a song, or with undertones of a song. But those little paragraphs with the lyrics that aren’t even in time with what you’re reading if you were to read and listen at the same time? I don’t think so. 

Do you know what sex is?

I do. 

Will you have e-sex with me in the direct message chatbox?

I will not. 

Why do you write on tumblr?

I started writing just to share an old word document with over 300 pages worth of an Original Star Wars story. I tried my hand at fanfiction because, while I don’t read it often myself, I know a lot of people do. It helps them escape reality. And, I’m a pretty good writer, I think. At least I can only get better. I’m just one more person trying to put something out for people to enjoy, and maybe even rely on. 

Will you ever write for real people?

If I ever wrote a fanfiction about Christian Bale or like Barack Obama I think I would just disappear. I can’t do it. It’s like warping my own reality. 

How often do you post?

I don’t know. 

Do you have a taglist?

I did! But only for Star Wars. If you want to be tagged in something, let me know. But you have to be specific. Just for a certain character? For a certain fandom? A certain plot? Just og stories? Be clear. 

Dynamics I Enjoy Writing:

Man simps for person who almost wants nothing to do with them. 

Hero simps for villain or villain simps for hero despite the obvious consequences.

Two jokesters destroy some area while left alone together. May get along better than they would admit. 

Two people who are not expected to get along, get along well. 

Hero and villain are best friends but won’t admit it.

Basically if I’m left to my own mind most of my fics will fall under one of these dynamics. Not always- definitely not always. But I kinda like them. 

Numbers:

800-273-8255 USA National Suicide Hotline

1 (300) 22 4636 Australia Suicide and Anxiety Line

1 (833) 456 4566  Canada Suicide Hotline

800-810-1117 China Suicide Hotline

0145394000 France Suicide Hotline

08001810771 Germany Suicide Hotline

8888817666  India Suicide Hotline

810352869090 Japan Suicide Hotline

0078202577577 Russia Suicide Hotline

08457909090 UK Suicide Hotline

4408457909090 Ireland Emergency Hotline

1-800-656-4673 US National Sexual Assault Hotline

741-741 National Panic Hotline (for people who prefer to text)

Anything else? 

Nope. Can’t think of anything. We’ll see if anything changes. Thanks for checking it out. 

Header Credits to: @moonknights​

[depressed-changeling]

Alright, while I reblogged shit about the SPN Finale and knew a little of what I was in for, I didn't fucking anticipate exactly how fucking bad it was now that I've seen it.

Yeah, fuck that finale and fuck the writers and the directors for fucking the show up so fucking bad. If not them, then the fucking CW for them pulling their bullshit yet a-fucking again. I don't even blame the actors cause at the end of the day, the actors can't change that much of how the show is going to be. Sometimes a actor or a group of actors stomp their foot on the ground and say "No fuck this and fuck you" and I love that, but it's a very rare thing to happen and if so, often doesn't change much about the show and the direction it's going, just the specific characters. Because ultimately the writers and directors control what happens, or the studio itself kills what creative freedom they have.

I grew up on this show. I started watching it when I was 10 because my dad watching the Evil Santa episode of season 3 and thought, "My kids are gonna fucking love this." And then we all became obsessed with the show, but me especially. Whenever a season would come out on dvd (too poor to afford cable so I missed out on a lot of what was typical of other childhoods), we would buy it as soon as we could afford it and I would obsessively watch it, the commentaries, and all of the special features. Not only that, but I would take notes of every monster and legend and go through mythology books I saved up and bought, and compare and see how accurate it was to actual lore(surprisingly seasons 1-5 is far more accurate to the legends than season 6 onward(I really hate the Changeling episode in particular for how inaccurate it is)), and essentially it became my special interest. Unfortunately, cause Gresham is fucking terrible, everyone decided to spread rumors about me and make my life hell. I've heard every single cussword and insult, but the most common was: demon, whore, witch, and r*tard(I'm Autistic).

Then more tragedies occured in my life. I don't want to be too specific as its personal, and the list of shit that happened in 2010 is way too fucking long (huh it was like my personal mini 2020...) but I'll summarize it: parents split, people died, and the worst kind of real life monster was accepted back into the family. And since then I've just been this numb, empty thing that would randomly explode then go back to feeling nothing. That fucking show honestly made me so happy to watch and kept me barely steady until I was 15, made my first and most important friends, and finally got a support system that would slowly but surely inspired me to heal.

Overall, a lot of my opinions on Supernatural was formed isolated as I never really jumped into the SPN fandom until like 5 or 4 years ago when it all really died down, and didn't really interact with any other fan. But I did read about destial, and I 100% agree that Dean would have ended up with Cas if Cas was instead casted with an actress instead of Misha Collins, and that the way the show continuely handles the Dean Winchester and Castiel friendship and dynamic is 100% queer baiting. (Personally, I think of the relationship as Cas being in love with Dean as a bi-ace, and I always headcanoned Dean as an bi-aromantic/demiaromantic and that if he ever did actually fall in love, it was gonna be Cas(the way Dean acts with his love interests that are women have always struck me as more of a performance. Like Dean certainly cared about Lisa and Anna (I refuse to count Amara), but not loved. It seemed more like he felt a very strong platonic liking to them, and though of it as love and did what he thought was the right response))). Hell, even my dad agrees that if Cas was played by an actress, he would be Dean's love interest.

SPOILER ALERT

I fucking hate how the finale essentially just shat allover the show, and especially fucked over the character Cas at the end by baiting him and Dean being endgame, and then not having him in the finale two episodes and never mentioning his confession. Not to mention the shitty fucking way they seemed to have dropped the ball in the consume department, the fucking laughable inappropriate death for Dean, abandonment of Jack(he could have been there at the fucking funeral at least), the way they don't kill Chuck to make sure there is no fucking way he starts to fuck shit up again, and how they just glossed over the fact that Dean could have visited his parents but chose to drive instead.

Especially when **SPOILER ALERT** Bobby and Dean are drinking beer, and Bobby is explaining how Jack fixed heaven before leaving. Dean praises it, and then Bobby responds with: "And Cas did too."

So Jack did grab Cas and got him out of the Empty? And decided not to go visit Dean? Dean didn't even try looking for him? Cas is in heaven right now? Or is it because of the fact that heaven runs of different time that the drive seemed to last forty years Earth time? Also I thought people look as they did when they died? You mean you can pick out how you want to look for eternity? And no one chose whay they looked like when they were in their 20s? What about the dog? So many questions.

Honestly the urge to completely rewrite the show, especially in a lore accurate way snd fix the shit that I hate is super strong right now.