#I’m really bad at this. and I might actually delete it. I know I’m suppose to be confident in my writing and normally I am. but this? ehhhh

[wayfayrr]

Sky being self aware had been plaguing my mind since I wrote this other piece where he confronts you about having played through his game, however while you could read this as a sequel it is written as something separate!

before the main thing though just gonna say, I don't actually support yandere behaviour in real life - I don't usually mention this because in my opinion it goes without saying, however since reader borders a little bit on being one in this I just wanted to make it clear!

[masterlist]

It’s been so long since I last played Skyward Sword, Really I think the last time I picked it up was at least a year ago now. I’d almost forgotten I actually had it on the switch, if it weren’t for me needing to do a clear out I might have never remembered that I had this. I’ve got some spare time right now so really there shouldn’t be an issue if I took a break to play for a while would there? In the worst case I’d get distracted for a bit, but it’s not like I can’t just carry on cleaning tomorrow. Setting up the game was easier than ever, not like setting up any switch game is particularly hard though. My old save was still waiting patiently, I could never bring myself to delete it even after getting a hundred percent. Perhaps it’s finally time to try out hero mode for the first time?

The opening cutscene is nice to watch again, even if I can’t help but feel bad for Link in it, seeing what it’s building up to. Huh? I could’ve sworn my controllers were working a second ago, they can’t have disconnected during the cutscene either, could they?

“[Name]? Dearest… you’ve finally come back…”

What.

It’s like I’ve just been plunged into ice water - I- I’m dreaming right? I have to be, there’s no way this could possibly be real. He’s a game character. Link can’t be speaking to me as if he’s a real person. He can’t be.

“Darling, You - you look so pale are you alright?”

Another step toward the screen, a head-tilt and clear concern on his face. More than possible. I knew it, this has to be a dream.

“Darling, I know that this is strange for you - don’t you think it’s strange for me as well? I mean - I know I’m not supposed to exist as I do. I’m only supposed to be a blank slate for you to play this game as not - not have my own feelings.”

A sharp inhale laced with the sounds of static reverberated throughout the room, with a far too alive sounding sniffle as he wiped his eyes and took yet another step closer. Even eerier was the laugh that followed when he made eye contact with me, something sad and wet sounding like he’s barely holding himself together. It sounds too real.

“It’s been so long I thought that you - I thought that you forgot me. That you weren’t going to come back. I hoped - no I knew - that you didn’t though and you didn’t! You came back to me my love and now I’m not going to let you out of my sight again. I know that it wasn’t your fault that you took so long, I - I mean you didn’t even know that I’m alive but I’m not going to risk it happening again.”

He’s right up against the screen now, staring at me as he presses his hand up against it, like he’s testing it. Gently testing as if he’s trying to see how much pressure the glass can take. If there’s any time best to wake up already it would be now. 

“I’ve been stuck in here alone for so long, if I didn’t have something to focus on I would have gone insane! Can you imagine that? If I didn’t have you to think about all that time I would have lost myself! I was made for you; I know you care about me as well. Please [name] I - I don’t know who I’m supposed to be any more, I’m not - not your character. I’m so much more than that empty husk.”

His hand pushes further on the glass as his fingers tense up, now like he’s preparing himself for something. Link, I’ve never seen him - any version of him in any version of the games acting even half as emotive as this. That proves that this is all a dream, he can’t be - this can’t be real. 

“There’s one other thing that being trapped in here for all this time has let me focus on I think I know how to get out now… If I press this just-”

A sickeningly twisted smile found its way onto his face with each shrill crack of the glass screen under his hand. The other moving up to join it as he pushed even harder, intending to shatter the barrier, he’s convinced himself is standing between us. My chest feels so tight right now, why am I so sore in a dream?  If I were awake I’d be convinced I was having a panic attack but - no- no I’m not awake.

“Right. Then - Well you can see can’t you dearest? If I carry on like this, there won’t be any-”

A loud wince as his hand shatters through the screen, the glass shards cutting through his skin effortlessly marring both him and the remaining screen with - with his blood. The laughter that followed the screen cutting to blank with his hand reaching through seemed to tighten the band that’s seemingly wrapped itself around my lungs making it harder still to breathe. How could I breathe when link - the link is dragging himself out of my tv. 

“Come on darling..? I know you feel the same way about me, I’ve heard you say it all. So please don’t just stand there looking terrified. You have no reason to be scared of me, I love you so much [name]. Can’t you see I’m doing this so that we can be together? I can’t wait to finally hold you in my arms.”

Frozen. That’s the only way I can describe how I’m feeling right now, my once-warm blood has turned to ice within my veins. He’s not stopping. His shirt that was once a pale beige is now stained with red patches, as his head and torso are out of the screen now. What was once a comforting face to see, one of my favourite characters is staring me down with a downright vicious grin while he is dripping with his own blood. Even beneath all of that though, there’s still something so tender, so scared about him, something is worrying him.

“Please darling you’re so pale, you don’t need to be scared - I promise you everything is going to be alright. [name] please just say something to me…”

Dark spots are starting to show in my vision now and… I’m not sure if this is a dream anymore. There are too many things adding up that don’t make any sense. But if it’s not that, I don’t…

“[NA]-”

><><><><

Did I pass out? I mean it really feels like I did, but I don’t feel like I hit anything. If I passed out when I was alone then I would’ve hit my head on something. Maybe I’m just waking up from that weird dream. Hopefully. Although that wouldn’t explain -

“You’re alright darling, I’m here. I’ve got you, you’re safe, you’re alright.”

Why I feel like someone’s holding me? 

“Oh dearest you’re finally awake… You - you scared me you know? I didn’t think I was going to be able to catch you, that you were going to get hurt. I’m so glad that I did though love.” It wasn’t a dream. That was Link’s voice, the same one as before. It’s link thats holding me in his arms. Link that’s nuzzling into my hair as he seems to be fighting off tears. That means… That means…

“...Everything was real..?  I - you - it…”

He’s holding me so gently like he’s scared of me disappearing. If what he said is true? I can’t hold  that against him with what he’s said, but even still. I can’t just stay in his arms pretending that him stroking my face with bloodstained hands isn’t bothering me. He’s so happy though and he isn’t hurting me really why don't I just - no I have to tell him that this is making me uncomfortable. 

“All of it, all of it was real [name] and I couldn’t be more glad that it is, because it means that I’m finally here with you.”

“Link…”

“Yes dear?”

… this is all real. I’m actually talking to him. He’s real. And he’s downright obsessed with me. 

“You - you’re still bleeding, you should deal with that and- and with everything.”

I’m not sure that was the right thing to say, but why shouldn’t I not accept him. This isn’t some stranger, it’s Link. One of my first fictional crushes, he’s probably heard the things I’ve said about him; since I’ve said in the past if I got a chance like this that I would take it… why not see where this goes? He looks adorable like this, hopefully, if he stays like this long enough I’ll be able to get the image of him crawling through my tv out of my mind. 

“I - you’re worried about me, love? I - I knew that you’re my soulmate, oh my dear. You're so beyond perfect.”

“We should go get you some bandages Link. I know you’re not quite used to everything yet so I wouldn’t want you to get an infection immediately.”

Yeah, I’m not going to let this chance slip. He’s so much nicer in person, why should I throw this away? He’s perfect and now?

He’s mine.

[4ngeldusstt]

“M I N E”

A/N: this is not how i originally wrote this, but i tried my best to rewrite it as close as it was before tumblr fking deleted it, anyway this was supposed to be a “just a thought” but it’s too long so here’s a short fic that’s actually just a scenario (?. I really hate the title tbh but that’s all i could come out with rn.

Warnings: alcohol effects, drinking, slight mentions of soft smut but nothing happens, swearing

Word count: 857

The last mission was a success, meaning there was a party going on that same night in order to relieve some stress among us, the soldiers. Levi recently introduced you to alcohol not so long ago, so you didn’t quite know how to handle it nor what your limit was just yet. You decided to have some wine and you started feeling the effects of it, warm blushed cheeks, everything made you laugh, your introvert self becoming more outgoing with every sip.

You were quite popular amongst the male soldiers in the scouts, some of them already were head over heels in love with you, so they took this opportunity and took advantage of your state in the way of sitting next to you, encouraging you to rest your head on their shoulder, they even had fights over who would fill up your cup.

Meanwhile your lover, Levi, was observing from afar his gaze telling everything words couldn’t, the desire to kill all of those fucking bastards if he could was written all over his face, his expression alone was enough to make them shit their pants in fear if they dared to look at him. You both decided that keeping your relationship private was the best decision but he wished, that in this moment, he could let everyone know how your heart belonged to him.

Even in your state you noticed when Levi stood up and left, to his office, you already knew that. Following his steps soon after, not even bothering to knock on the door you made your way to the comfortable looking leather couch, looking at him with half lidded eyes and a smile, he didn’t even bother to look your way ever since you came in but your stare was piercing enough to make him finally notice you. “How are you feeling?” He eyed you before going back to the paperwork in front of him.

He was upset, not at you but to them, he couldn’t blame you for being so perfect every soldier in the scouts dreamed of marrying you. “Mhm, how can wine taste so bad but make me feel so warm and fuzzy huh?” You said closing your eyes leaning back into the cushions. “I damn the day I let you try out alcohol for the first time, you clearly don’t know how to handle it.” He scoffed, furrowing your brows for a second before it hit you, he was jealous. A smirk creeped into your lips as you slowly got up and made your way to his chair, taking a seat on his lap.

Your lips lingering near his ear whispering “are you perhaps… jealous?” Smiling as you noticed his grip on your hip get tighter. “What if I am? I hated seeing them all over you and not being able to do anything about it, you are mine and mine only.” His voice lowering an octave, causing you to clench your thighs together, he was well aware of the effects his voice had on you and he wanted to tease you a little bit. “Hmm you might have to remind me who I belong to.” You were so needy for him, the alcohol on your system making you more emotional and the ache between your thighs worsen, he chuckled softly in response of your actions, “oh and I will, don’t worry. But not today, I’m sorry.” You whined and pouted at him, disagreeing with his decision.

Even though your were conscious enough and aware he was not going to do anything with you if he was sober and you were not, it wouldn’t feel right. “Come on, let’s take you to bed.” He said as soon as he realized it was taking everything in you not to fall asleep on him, due to the effects of the wine wearing off. He carried you bridal style and gently placed you onto the mattess of the bed you both shared. He helped you out of your clothes and placed one of his shirts covering your bare body that was a little too baggy for you, eyes closed not fully asleep yet, “mhm, thank you.” You said, “Anytime” he smiled softly even though you could not see him, soon after your head was placed on his chest as you started feeling his fingers slowly combing through your hair, leaving feathery kisses on your forehead every now and then as he read a book, you knew Levi barely slept, and today was no exception.

Prior to you passing out, you heard a faint whisper saying “I love you” into your hair followed by the soft touch of his lips pressing against your forehead lingering there a little longer than usual, it was such an intimate and loving act from a Levi that he, with time, managed to grow more comfortable in showing you, tightening your grip around his torso in response as you managed to mumble a weakly “I love you, thank you for loving me back.” before finally giving up and allowing yourself to succumb into a deep slumber, who knew humanity’s strongest soldier could be this gentle?

You did.

[sirensskai]

Who is the Unbortimer anon

Some of this info is now outdated because some new information came out. Specifically @bandom-simmer played a bigger part than we originally thought and a lot more shit happened showing pete isn’t that great a person. I’d advise you not to interact with pete.

There’s been a recent thing on Simblr where people are receiving asks about “Unbortimer” which is the ship name of Unborn Baby Broke and Mortimer Goth. But who is this person? Well me and some discord friends might have found out who it is.

At first I thought it was @bandom-simmer who created this ship in the first place, but it wasn’t Wentz as Pete had gotten Pete’s own asks. Pete sent only some asks to two people, some actually being Ripp related (my recent posts, not all of them though) but not to the entirety of Simblr. The ship has become sort of a meme in the discord server of its origins, which is the Lazy Duchess Server (which I’m banned from now but that’s a different story.) Basically the story is UBB (who was an adult now) was supposed to be paired with Alexander but had high chemistry with Mortimer (who had been staying alive from a custom age span.) And Alexander was gay and better with Daniel Pleasant apparently. It’s a pairing I find extremely weird but it’s not my game and also not as bad as if UBB was actually still a fetus lol. And in the end it’s The Sims.

Someone also thought it was me lol (It isn’t, I only post obsessively about Ripp Grunt as you can see by my Tumblr, and also if you know me on Discord.) Also I apologise if I looked like I was involved in some way 😭 (I was unfortunately blocked by someone.) I haven’t sent any asks.

So who was it? Neither me nor the discord people in the small server we were in had any idea.

The tea started brewing when I got messaged by this account though.

This account belonged to no one on the discord server and I started to highly suspect this was the person behind Unbortimer asks because they made this.

This account sent me a bunch of messages including some selfies and this one (which looks like the kind of thing you get on Simsecret) which had me really confused.

These are all screenshots from servers i’m in or was in so I thought must be from someone in there 😭 But when I asked in announcements, still no one knew lol.

Then this appeared in another server (specifically the Lazy Duchess Server, the one where Unbortimer was founded) before being quickly deleted and the sender being removed. Also claiming that the Unbortimer server is theirs (it’s not, it was created by @bandom-simmer ) From there we could piece clues together.

We looked through the invites for the same code and they matched up here.

Charlytical was questioned and apparently she had sent an invite to a friend. The selfies I was sent also matched her. This friend then confirmed through texts they were the serial Unbortimer asker.

She also confirmed making this

So that’s the Unbortimer person figured out now right? Well maybe not quite, cause apparently there’s multiple people sending asks and they aren’t all down to this person

So I guess that’s the story of the great Unbortimer asks scandal. We know who you are (or at least one of you if there’s multiple) but apparently nothing will stop you from still flooding my inbox with Unbortimer asks.

[deliciouskeys]

@cozycornerkinktober ’s prompt #3: Breeding/pregnancy

Deleted scene from The Selfish Gene (Butchlander)

Warnings: Let’s see. Homelander is pregnant. Homelander has both male and female equipment. He’s carrying Billy Butcher’s child. If that sounds inexplicable, well, it all makes perfect sense in the fic (or not). This deleted scene is supposed to be comedy, but ymmv. Could also be horror.

Inspired by the finale of a long conversation about mpreg with chatlander:

“What’re you always checking in there?” Billy asks. Homelander shifts his gaze off of his belly —off of Lena’s innocent adorable little face— and turns his attention to Billy who’s sprawled out on the bed, underneath him. It’s true that he got distracted, even while moving up and down his cock.

“Nothing. I can’t take a look at my baby once in a while?”

“Look, you asked to f—”

Homelander shushes him. “Stop swearing, she can hear.”

Billy raises a skeptical eyebrow. “You think she’s gonna pop out of you preloaded with all sorts of curse words she heard?”

“Maybe!” Homelander glares. “Just because most babies don’t learn, doesn’t mean she won’t.”

“Alright, in any case, you’re the one who wants to get it on, and then the entire time we’re doing it, you’re staring down at her, and- you’re flippin’ doing it again! While I’m talking to you!”

Homelander shifts his gaze off of her.

“Is she able to look clean through your skin or something?” Billy asks and Homelander’s eyes flee to the side in spite of himself.

“What? No…” he says, trying to sound neutral but he can hear he’s protesting a little too much. He guesses that telling Billy this sort of truth would be offputting. “No, what makes you say that?”

“Because you’ve been babytalking to your stomach and making faces as if she’s looking at you the last few days.”

Homelander gets a guilty look. He’s been less circumspect than he thought, because a few days ago, he feels like his relationship with Lena changed dramatically.

~~~

“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten cottage cheese in my life,” Homelander grumbled as he peered into the container he just opened. It smelled strange, and it looked lumpy. “You better have wanted this, because I have no idea what possessed me to order it otherwise,” he said. He talked to Lena throughout the day, whenever Billy wasn’t home. He knew it would sound a little bit insane to any bystander. Maybe it was a way of coping with his sense of loneliness, but it was a vast improvement over how he used to talk to himself, in the bad room, and then later on in his own apartment. He’s left that behind with Vought. He’d never be unkind to his own child. Lena might not talk back, or respond in any way really, but that was fine by him. She should be able to hear him now, if the info online and in the baby books was to be believed. And if she was anything like him, she might also be hearing the neighbor three floors up and two to the right having an irritatingly vacuous conversation over the phone discussing some reality show finale.

He dipped the spoon in and tried the cottage cheese. “It’s not that bad actually,” he said through a mouthful. He took the entire container with him and put his feet up on the coffee table to alleviate some of the swelling in his ankles. The cottage cheese hit some weird spot he didn’t know he even had just right. He ended up eating the entire container. “Good choice, baby,” he said, smiling, and glanced down only to see Lena’s upturned face, eyes wide open and staring up at him through the veils of amniotic fluid, tissue, skin. He felt a little taken aback at how penetrating and focused her gaze was. He moved his hand toward her, then moved it to the side and waved it. Lena’s eyes tracked it perfectly.

“Holy sh- smokes. Hi baby,” he whispered, breath catching when he saw her swivel her head back up towards him. “I’m not even sure your eyes are supposed to be open yet,” he said to no one in particular. She was definitely on the early side for every milestone, but babies allegedly didn’t focus their eyes until after they were born. Babies also probably didn’t see much inside the womb without penetrative vision though.

“Maybe we won’t tell your other daddy about this. He might get weirded out,” Homelander said to her, conspiratorially, as if she might understand him.

Billy might say he’s fine with the idea of their daughter having all the superpowers he has, but Homelander didn’t want to push it any more than necessary. All in due time. His super senses were the powers ordinary people seemed most worried about, somehow. He looked down and Lena was staring up at him again. She definitely seemed particularly interested in his face.

“You’re adorable. I love you so much,” he said, shivering because now it really felt like he was talking to a real person. He kissed his fingertips and touched them to his belly. Lena blinked. “Can’t wait to hold you.”

~~~

“I’m just- I’m pretending she can see and hear me. It’s for my own sake. She’ll be out in a couple of months, anyway.”

Billy raises his eyebrows, tilting his head and Homelander can’t stand it, not when they agreed not to lie to each other, and Billy seems to have a pretty good sense when he’s lying.

“Okay, fine, yes, she can see me, and she looks up at me a lot, and it’s really hard to ignore her. So sue me.”

“And you still want to do this?”

“Well why not?”

“I don’t know.” Billy grimaces. “It feels wrong to have her coming along for the ride if she can see and hear everything.”

Homelander scoffs. “She’s not going to know what we’re doing.”

“And yet she’ll remember the word ‘fuck’?”

“Fine! Say whatever you want.” Homelander rolls his eyes. “God forbid I stifle your self-expression by cutting a few words out of your vocabulary.”

“Those few words are very useful and versatile.”

Homelander cracks a smile. He tries to start moving up and down again, but Billy seems to have gone soft inside him, and he opts to squeeze him with some kegels, and just tilt his hips back and forth instead. Billy runs his hands up Homelander’s kneeling legs, and ends up holding his hips, tapping his fingers against his lovehandles.

Maybe it’s a bad position. Homelander’s hips have started to ache if he puts them under any kind of pressure. The doctor said it was supposed to happen— that all of his joints are looser at this stage of pregnancy, but especially his hip joints. Knowing it’s from pregnancy makes him sort of relish those aches though. He starts to move himself up and down, now that Billy’s body is back in the game. At least he tends to have powerful orgasms when his thigh muscles are working hard. He’s soon distracted by Lena looking around.

“Stop looking at her, you’re throwing me off,” Billy grumbles. “Now I’m wondering where she’s looking.”

“She just looks… a little scared… about why everything is… bouncing around her…” Homelander says between movements. Then his voice changes as he looks at her. “Baby, don’t be scared…” He rubs his belly.

“Oi, this just isn’t going to work. I can’t look at you baby talking to her and just keep going.”

“Well, tough, she’s my priority, and she will be for the foreseeable future. If she’s scared of our sex, I’m going to comfort her.”

“She’s not the only one scared of our sex right now.”

“Oh boo-fucking-hoo,” Homelander says, not catching himself before saying the f word because he’s fed up with Billy’s arbitrary turnoffs. He pulls himself up off of Billy’s cock, and lies down beside him, turned to the wall.

“You cross with me?” Billy asks, and he does sound apologetic.

“No, just... do it from behind. That way you don’t have to see me watching her.”

“You even want this?” Billy asks, positioning himself and slowly entering him from behind.

“Yes I want this!” Homelander says impatiently. He’s been pretty sexually frustrated, easily turned on throughout the day by the extra blood that seems to just hang out around his uterus and pelvis. But jacking off was becoming physically awkward, to the point where he’s found it easier to reach behind, and snake his hand between his legs and stroke his dick or clit that way. But Billy can’t possibly guess all of that. So he tacks on a quiet ‘please’, and sighs happily when Billy grips his thigh and starts to move.

AO3 link

[lovesick-nagi]

This is a continuation of our posts on Stylus/The Labyrinth, as we have been requested to add this on.

I held off on posting this to give Stylus an opportunity to reply and send their supposed "proof" they claim to have from their last post, but as of now, there is dead silence from their end. I can't say I didn't expect this, but if they truly think they have something that will vindicate them, I implore them to send it into my askbox. In the meantime, I have a development.

You might remember the person who made the post defending Labyrinth, another one of their exes. You may also have noticed in the last post I said there were now four people speaking out against Stylus, and now, I bring you the fourth statement via that ex/childhood friend, @starfall-sys, as they have now come forward to me to apologize, as well as admit to be a victim of Labyrinth as well. They have asked us to make this post to clarify their feelings on the matter. But first, I will give what they themselves have to say.

This post will also include more of their disgusting actions that I could not include in my three posts, but now have even more backup on.

TW: SH, Mentions of Abuse/SA, Racism, RAMCOA mention/misrepresentation

"Hey. This is Stylus’ friend/ex. As you all may be aware, I posted a really awful defense statement trying to defend Stylus and I will say, I am extremely sorry. That statement not only hurt Nagi, it upset a lot of people who knew the whole story. I know nothing will excuse my actions but I want to explain myself.

When I wrote that statement, I was sort of convinced by Stylus to send it because I felt bad at that time and I wanted to defend him. At that time, I was only aware of one incident, and was not aware of the actual biting, physical abuse, and SA that happened. Stylus deliberately left that out. I wrote that statement under the impression that maybe it could possibly mend friendships and clear off miscommunication but BOY was I wrong.

It wasn't until after people started lashing out at me that I realized the gravity of the situation. It has left me mentally scarred, and I regret ever defending Stylus. I myself realized that Stylus has done stuff to me that I buried under the rug until recently.

This is my apology statement for those who have been hurt by my initial statement. I no longer endorse Stylus, and I have apologized to Nagi about it as well. I’m sorry for causing such a mess, truth be told I was dragged into this by Stylus, but honestly I am glad that it came to that point because otherwise I would have never realized the treatment that I had to deal with from Stylus. I would have been left in the dark.

Now while I would love to explain what he did to me, its way too much for me to explain in a paragraph and I feel that Nagi can explain it better than me, so I will let them tell you the truth."

Here, within what they shared with me, we can learn more about how stylus behaved with them. As you may remember from their post, they are childhood friends with Stylus. They detail how Stylus seemed nice in childhood, coming from a wealthy, safe home, but they started to understand the malicious person Stylus was growing into when they first exchanged discord accounts.

It is truly disturbing to hear the extent of what stylus did to themselves while on video with their "closest friend", who would go on to be their first partner, as it’s something no one should ever have to see, and combined with the accounts in our previous posts, clearly Stylus has a past history with using SH as leverage, and has done this with literally every single person they have dated.

They go on to discuss their experiences with being led to believe I was in the wrong, and how they were apparently being manipulated into doing their bidding for a long time now. They apologized to me for having written the deleted apology post previously on Stylus’ blog.

They talk to us about being straight up ignored by Stylus in their relationship, which is another thing that led to their breakup. Stylus often dismissed their requests for advice or encouragement in favour of themself or others which led this person to feel very isolated and generally worthless to Stylus despite the years they spent knowing eachother.

We’d learn that during the time them and Stylus were dating, Stylus hadn’t informed them that they had begun dating someone else. While they did have a open arrangement, they’d agreed to ask/inform each other first, and Stylus had not, instead dating this person for a month before even mentioning it, completely breaking their partner's trust. They broke up immediately after Stylus tried to gaslight them regarding this.

We’ve also received more examples of Stylus being racist and vile with our renewed friendship with their victims, though we’d already known this for some time due to various personal experiences with them as a POC ourselves, this just goes to show that there is MUCH Stylus has not apologized for, and hoped would just be pushed under the rug.

{ As you can probably tell, the more I talk about him, the less patience I have for his antics. }

Even FURTHER, they claim to be a RAMCOA victim PURELY because of their cult leader OC alter.

So on top of straight up saying he "has trauma" from NOT having trauma, now he is claiming to be a victim of Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse. None of these are even entertainable ideas, and the fact he only feels this way because his cult leader OC is "drawn to" these topics is. Something.

At this point, I really cannot say I believe anything he says. He is willing to claim he is a RAMCOA survivor for such silly reasons, and claims to have his dissociative disorder from childhood trauma, trauma that he has straight up said he does not have. It seems he uses these types of things to excuse his actions, or at least that's what their practical use ends up being.

He did something terrible ? He doesn't remember it, it was someone else. Someone says no or even takes too long for him when he pesters them for something ? He has RSD, you can't say no, it'll hurt his feelings. He doesn't show any remorse for literally assaulting someone ? It's not his fault, he has a personality disorder. Even if I've caught him in lies about all of these, when he's proven wrong, he shifts the blame onto someone else, one of his exes. It is never his fault. And if you call him out on all of this, you're the terrible one.

I would like to clarify that every single person I have discussed being affected is a system. I am a system, my partner is a system, all three of his exes are systems. Not a single one of us can say that his claims line up with our system experiences.

He claims things about his system that literally could not be medically possible, he has spewed misinformation on any disorder he brings up and talks over other people WITH those disorders while doing so, and everyone knows him to have a completely normal family and childhood, not traumatic in any sense of the word. The victim who has lived in his house said that if anything, he has been spoiled by his wealthy family. The rest of us has witnessed this as well. He might as well just say that he's endogenic.

He seems to target anyone who enables him, which turned out to be traumatized systems, to get what he wants. This is simply his victim profile, which is why I'm glad he was banned from the system server he held a powerful position in. We are glad to have prevented more harm from being done.

To end this off,

Stylus’ ex who reached out to us concludes with another apology to me, and others, for having ever defended stylus or aided in any of our abuse, which is an apology I accept genuinely, because I already knew they were misinforming people and villainizing their victims.

They villainized me to all three of their exes, they villainized us all to the server they modded, and everyone they manipulated into sympathizing with them has realized they are a victim of Stylus, cut them off, and has a strong distain for them as a person. Even the server they modded for banned them due to learning of their actions after being lied to. Stylus is extremely manipulative, and has upheld a plethora of terrible beliefs while under the guise of amnesia, disorders, or meaning well. The truth is he has just been motivated by prejudice, malicious sadism, sexual deviancy, and his own self interest.

We’re glad to have received a proper apology from Stylus' now ex childhood friend, and gained further knowledge about the extent of what stylus has done from their exes, and we've all become friends again, which makes me really happy !! The only person who has never given a genuine apology for all their terrible actions is Stylus, and I doubt they ever will, because at this point all they seem to be doing is continuing to try and demonize their victims and blamehsift. All I can say is, the more I learn about them, the worse they are revealed to be. If they think they can worm their way into more communities, into more already-traumatized people's lives, they are, simply put, very wrong. I won't let anyone else be hurt because of their abusive nature, and I will continue to protect others.

[benjinoff13]

Thinking about the domesticity of avatrice’s text messages while they were in Switzerland

~~~

B: “Will you be home for dinner?”

A: “YES! can you make that pasta again”

B: “Which one?”

A: “idk the one you made the other day w the sauce”

B: “?”

A: “nm”

B: “I never understand your messages.”

~~~

B: “Will you be home soon? Are you safe?”

A: “yes I’m fine! still omw I ran into michael but I’ll be home in 5”

B: “Please hurry. The ice cream is melting and we don’t have a freezer. Remember?”

A: “SPRINTING NOW!”

B: “Don’t run and text please.”

~~~

A: “I just saw a bunch of cows crossing the street??!??”

~~~

B: “What do you want for lunch?”

A: “whatever you want is fine bea :)”

~~~

A: “where are we meeting for training?”

B: “The usual spot.”

A: “I don’t remember where it is lol I keep getting lost”

B: “Send your location I’ll come pick you up.”

~~~

A: “I got stung by a bee what am I supposed to do lol”

A: “BEA???”

A: “or should I say bee hahaha”

A: “it healed”

B: “I’m glad.”

A: “that shit hurts like bitch”

B: “Language. Please.”

A: “damn, even over text?”

B: “Yes.”

~~~

B: “I’ll probably be asleep when you get home. There’s dinner in the fridge.”

A: “ty, sweet dreams, I’ll be home soon!! <3”

~~~

B: “I bought a book I think you might like.”

A: “that’s really sweet bea but I’m not as big a fan of reading as you are…”

B: “It’s a comic book, Ava.”

A: “omg yeeeh thank you :)))”

~~~

A: “hey who was that girl you were talking to the other day?” (deleted)

~~~

A: “I lost my white tank top do you know where it is”

B: “Underneath the couch near the radiator.”

A: “you’re the best!”

~~~

A: *picture of bea sleeping* *picture of a sunset* *picture of a baby cow* *meme about nuns*

~~~

B: “What film do you want to see tonight?”

A: “it’s your turn to pick bea but nothing too complicated and nothing with subtitles or I’ll probably fall asleep on top of you again”

B: “Right. We don’t want that to happen.”

A: “don’t we?” (deleted)

~~~

A: *stupid pun*

B: “That one actually isn’t too bad.”

~~~

B: “I know you didn’t sleep well. I hope you’re feeling better today. Hans can cover your shift and we don’t have to train today if you don’t want to. I’ll bring some snacks when I get home.”

A: “thx, love you” (deleted)

[scruffyssketchbook]

RAMBLES OF A VERY TIRED AUTHOR CHAN #I lost track bro

Kind of random post, sorry!!! Might delete later 😋 idk

I originally said here that this wasn’t a vent post but it might be one after all oops. (I’m sorry I’m an over-sharer and this is my ramble blog.)

(Trigger Warning- grooming? Pedo behavior?)

So I think I mentioned this here before (like years before, idk), but there is this guy who has been stalking me for forever now or whatever. Like, he’s basically the reason I don’t accept friend requests from people I don’t know on Discord and made it so only friends can message me, cause this man would pretend to be other people to talk to me. Anyways, on one of his MANY alts that he uses to send messages to me, he basically admitted to grooming me in the Pedo way when I was a minor!!! Fun 🥰🥰🥰🥰 (this is sarcasm)

But like, that literally explains SO MUCH OF THE THINGS IN SSEC, LIKE WHAT????

Like obviously I am not going in detail of the things that were in SSEC cause it makes me uncomfortable, but it does explain a lot of it, and seeing how afterwards I proceeded to get groomed by 2 other people back to back to BACK, LIKE. For one thing

I definitely feel like the tonal shift in the series was due to all of these events. Of course, I’m not going to get into every bad thing that happened to me due to being a naive girl making a stupid pokemon webcomic (sadly it’s a lot lol), but like, I didn’t even realize that I was groomed by multiple people until I was in my 20’s. (I mean, I am in my 20’s right now, but you know) and I literally was not aware that stalker man was being a pedo towards me when I was a minor until he admitted to me that he was being one- RECENTLY.

I do feel like how SSEC ultimately turned out was due to all of this. For the longest time, I was just surrounded by a lot of negativity. And, I kind of just kind of have the natural inclination to help people or be kind to people, and that ultimately just caused people to see that and use me over and over and over again, causing both the tonal shift in SSEC as well as me closing myself more and more off to people, which- really sucks honestly. (And only now I realize that that is literally the same thing that happened to Vay, wtf)

Like- I want friends. Nothing Romantic, no strings attached, no weird power dynamics, just PLATONIC friends. But I’m extremely shy and awkward, and ofc, extremely closed off ^^;;; So it’s pretty hard for that to happen, I guess.

But I suppose that is why I like/obsess about Box 31 so much.

Box 31 is basically just wish fulfillment for me.

Because, like. The only thing I’ve ever really wanted, the thing I have been looking for, for years, are friends. And, the whole story of box 31 are outcasts making friends, and supporting each other, and growing together, and that makes me very very happy.

Living vicariously through my characters!!! I want them to be happy, I want them to smile, I want others to smile too!!! I don’t want to keep drawing sad things, yeah I like drama, there will be drama in Box 31, but in ssec it’s just so endless. I always wanted the characters to be happy at the end, but where is that end if there is an endless sea of issues?

Idk. I just remember me being freshly 18, crying on the ground (cringe ik) to my way older roommate that I just wanted friends, and I wonder if things would have been better if someone just took my hand and became the friend I needed at the time instead of me becoming totally isolated and the stalker using that to get closer to me.

Idk 😋 as I said, might delete later 😋 just kinda a bit cringe lmao

I just wanna keep drawing my Stupid Silly Eeveelutions~ la la laa

Oh. Speaking of that actually.

[therealnoot]

Yeah Hi there, I’m Noot. New(ish) to tumblr.

Currently in a (a hat in time) phase (again) so I finally decided I should share to the world the array of snatchers I have. (Yes. Very original with snatcher characters) who would’ve thought purple ghost noodles would’ve been the start of my tumble account? I’m already RUINED.

Naturally I’d just leave it at that and let everyone suffer in wondering who in the world ARE these snatchers, I suppose it’s only fair of me to explain them? At least introduce them to you, whomever may be reading this. We’ll start simple with the bright glowy flower boy. All the way on the left.

That’s Florent Snatcher. Florent for short.

He’s from a sorta private project au APIT (A Petal in time) that deals with hanahaki disease but with a twist! This mans has a disease, he spreads and infects people (can’t have anything nice in subcon). He’s generally a very sweet (trauma ridden) ghost. VERY DIFFERENT from canon snatcher or anything like that. He’s actually very nice, enjoys talking to people and is still HORRIBLY in love with Vanessa. Sucks she hates his guts (Soul mate reference)

Florent canonically floods his own forest with his tears. Mans cries a lot, okay? Flood warning.

The one all the way on the right is Oleander.

He was like at first an alternate timeline Florent that instead of the hanahaki forming from his love for Vanessa, he unlike Florent stopped loving Vanessa, thus he is not covered in doom flowers. But he’s an edgy ASSHOLE who wears killer eyeliner to hold together his broken non-existent ego.

Funfact! Oleander is just a feral Florent. He’s not special.

Now, the one in the middle is.. “ The Frost King “

Basically, I took the subcon story AND DESTROYED IT. Vanessa and Prince have swapped abilities. Prince having ice and Vanessa having Fire. Basically bad stuff happened, still haven’t decided how but mans has been battered, beaten and brain washed by Vanessa after getting locked in the cellar. Whodda thunk? Now he’s Vanessa “ Perfect Prince “. Heavy quote unquote. Mans froze over all of subcon. He’s just a frightened guard dog, that’s it, his entire personality.

I really screwed Frost Snatcher over. Basically it’s a “ Something’s wrong “ (Vanessa W) alternate timeline.

I guess that’s all. For now. I might actually die forever again. Or I might post more in the future. Who knows. All you have to know is I have snatchers who all cry when face to face with Vanessa. These men will break down crying at the mere thought of her. Trauma moment. Anyways I am logging off ( don’t delete my save file ) - Noot

[halsteadlover]

Just a little rant here about my personal life so feel free to skip lol

I know nobody is gonna read this and I’ll probably delete this when I’ll come to my senses but right now I feel so depressed I just need to get this out of my chest. I always felt tumblr like a safe space so here I am.

I don’t know if you remember the times where I took some time off because of anxiety and my mental health.

Lately it feels like it’s getting worse and I really don’t know what to do, I don’t know if many of you will relate (I really hope not) but it’s just like I don’t know how to be happy and I really hate it here man. I’m so tired of feeling like this, always worrying and having anxiety about something I don’t even know about. I feel so crazy sometimes you know? Like there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m honestly so grateful for the things god gave me. I’m healthy, I have a loving family (even if sometimes they’re overbearing to the point of crazy), I get to study for my dream job, I have a bf that puts up with my ass, friends even if few of them, there’s nothing wrong there are so many worse things people go through and I don’t even have to right to rant about any of this. So why do I feel like I don’t deserve any of this?

I have such deep trust issues it’s ruining my life and relationships, I don’t know why. I hate myself and I sometimes think I don’t deserve to be loved, I’m not that speciale and I’m so damn insecure that every good thing that happens in my life I can’t help but think it’s gonna fade in a minute, that something bad might happen, that I’m so easily replaceable.

Sometimes I truly think that if I disappeared no one would notice or miss me, I thought about doing it but I’m so damn scared. I don’t know where this is coming from, maybe the bullying had something with it I don’t honestly know but I’m so tired of feeling like this.

Why can’t I just love me? Why can’t I enjoy a single good thing that happens to me? Why do I keep sabotage myself by thinking I don’t deserve any happiness and it’ll soon fade away?

For example, these last two days I took three different exams and even though I’m relieved I can’t help but think I’m such a failure, that my parents are so disappointed in me for taking so long to finish a degree I was supposed to finish years ago.

I had an anxiety attack yesterday morning while I was with my bf and I sobbed for hours while he held me but if you ask me what triggered it I wouldn’t know how to answer you.

Why am I like this? Why am I not normal?

It’s just a bit of everything and I honestly don’t know what to do.

But please don’t judge me. I’m aware these “problems” are nowhere serious like some others and I’m so sorry for being so dramatic it’s just… I don’t know guys, I just want to be happy, to feel loved without actually thinking about the worst.

Am I soo pretentious? Do I sound so ungrateful? Complaining about these things when I have everything some people unfortunately dream of? I don’t want to sound like that and I feel so guilty about having these thoughts.

I know you’ll think I’m an attention seeker, fishing for compliments or things like that, I’ve been told that before here and I’m so sorry if it seems that way but trust me it’s the opposite of that. I’m telling this here because I guess it’s easier behind the screen, when no one knows you and can really judge you, but I also thing you’ll judge me anyway but at least it was good for me to let this out.

If someone reads this I hope you won’t think of me any less, and if you’re feeling something like this too I’m so sorry and if you want to talk my inbox and DMs are ALWAYS open for you guys, I’m here even if it takes me some time to answer.

Sorry if something doesn’t make any sense, I didn’t even read this back I’m just cried my eyes out while writing this post and now I have a headache. At least I hope the sleeping will be good lmao.

But tomorrow will be better, I’m sure of this.

[hirukochan]

Hi I'm wondering how to improve my writing

Hi there!

Oof, idk if I'm the right person to ask there. Writing has always come natural to me. I started creating my own stories when I was a child. Storytelling just has always been a part of my life, but I will try!

Practice.

Writing is a skill. It may come easier to some people just like art, dance, crafts - any creative activity really - but it is still a skill and a skill can only be improved by doing it over and over and over.

Don’t be afraid to try.

I’ve seen countless posts of people being stuck on their worldbuilding for years without ever writing a single word. World building is great, collecting resources to improve your writing is all good and well but they will be of no help to you if you don’t ever actually start to write.

Don’t be scared to suck.

I’ve written plenty of stuff that’s bad. I’ve deleted entire chapters and started over because it was just not working. It can be frustrating and it’s fine to take a step back for a moment and come back with fresh ideas. Not everything you write has to be shared with the public. Scribble down brainfarts on a napkin you never look at again. Fill notebooks with story shreds you’ll never expand on. Just write. Get comfortable with writing. Try out new things even if those aren’t what you want to write. Every creative writing class will tell you to not write fiction and while I disagree with the notion that fiction is somehow less, it is not bad advice to step out of your comfort zone and challenge your skills. I wrote a few short stories that were set in the ‘real’ world and while it was hard, I think it really helped me improve.

It’s worth experimenting with different mediums as well. Some people prefer to write on the computer, some do their best work on paper. I like to switch between the two when I notice myself getting stuck. I have one story I write almost exclusively on paper. It’s annoying to type it all into my computer after but it’s worth the extra effort.

Read a lot. Artists look at other artists’ work and study every detail of their work. Every author has a different style. By reading other peoples’ works in different genres you broaden your own horizon.

For years I got stuck on all these rules some people have made up for writing and while some of them are sound advice, most published authors break those rules too. Unless you want to get traditionally published, writing is a hobby and hobbies are supposed to be fun. Don’t get hung up on trying to be perfect. Just write. You can come back later and edit or don’t. I don’t. I do some haphazard spell checking and that is it. I don’t enjoy editing. I don’t like rereading my chapter over and over to try and get it perfect. Perfection is a myth anyway. Some people will not like what you write and that is fine. Your audience is out there, even if it might take a moment to find it.

It’s easy to get discouraged when you don’t get the response to your work you crave. No amount of telling yourself you write for yourself will change that. In the end, we know our stories. We don’t need to write them down to know them, nor publish them on the internet. We do that because we want to share our little world with other people and in a time were kudos and comments are at an all time low it is easy to feel like you are shouting into a forest and your words get lost between the branches.

I’ve let myself get discouraged by this too. It’s the reason A Servant of Death hasn’t been updated in forever. I recently published two oneshots I’m pretty proud of but because they are both rare pairs, I got barely any responses.

I can’t tell you how to deal with disappointment. It’s something I struggle with. I just have to believe that my stories reach people. That someone is glad they were written even if they are too shy or busy to tell me.

Find fandom friends. I find it is much easier to deal with my disappointment when a story doesn’t do as well as I think it might deserve (and I’ve been spoilt rotten with the responses to ‘Your tears are of no relevance to me’, going back to my rare pairs and less popular ships after that was and is a hard transition). Join a discord, be active on tumblr, find your people that share the same brain rot as you. I’ve made so many great friends over at the Snarriet Discord, it’s a wonderful community - you just need to find it.

Now I know that even if no one else will read it, @snapesmorningcoffee and @loneamaryllis are always among the first to read my sick and twisted stories. I can’t tell you how much of a difference that makes!

So…yeah. My biggest advice is to just write. Forget all else. Set a timer for five minutes and write as much as you possibly can in that time even if you just end up writing ‘idk what to write’ over and over. You’ll automatically get better at it the more you do it, the longer you do it.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Forgive Me, I Am A Sinner  {1}* {Two-Shot}

Title: Forgive Me I Am a Sinner {1}* {Two Shot} 

Someone x Reader

Words: 2.9k

Warning: Play on the church confessional, Cursing, Adult themes, Mild crude language/discussion, Mild NSFW(Toward end), Mistaken Identity

Summary: You have some things to get off your chest and end up walking into a church.

Note: So, this might be mildly taboo for some, if it is for you, don’t read, I’ll understand. While I don’t think I took it too far in someone’s eyes it could be blasphemous. Again, don’t read if you feel it may offend you. Nothing lewd but be warned. Don’t come to me with your complaints. They will fall on deaf ears and be met with a quick delete. I don’t think it’s bad but 🤷🏽‍♀️

  ***NOT EDITED/Proofread***

-You-

“Forgive me lord for I have sinned. It's been...never since my last confession. I've never done this. Yep, I'm a virgin. Well with confessions otherwise I am soooo not a virgin. The things this body has done, these eyes have seen, these hands have touched, and this mouth has had in it...yikes. Not a virgin. Oh god, I probably shouldn't have said that in a church with a priest across from me. Shit. I probably shouldn't have cursed in the house of God either. Oh, fuck."

You facepalmed then sighed already fed up with yourself. You didn’t know what was wrong with you or why your mouth was still moving and allowing words to pass through. Yes, you were nervous and most of it were nervous ramblings you’d always done but now was not the time to be censor free.

 "I'm going to hell, aren't I?”

 Silence. There weren’t even breathing sounds. Either there was no one there or the guy across from her was weighing his options speaking to an actual heathen. You leaned a litter closer to the wooden screen peppered with small holes that was separating the two booths.

 "Uh...priest guy? Padre? Father? Oh, great even God's messenger sees the heathen in me and has run for the hills to tell the lord this sheep has steered far from the flock. Definitely going to hell."

 You hung your head in disappointment.

 "For all the scripture that has been written about the heavenly trio, the father, the son, and the holy spirit, I doubt they would be so quick as to damn one of their flock."

 You could hear the humor in his voice, and it made you pause. Were priests supposed to have a sense of humor? It did sound like a biblical joke so maybe that wasn’t weird.

 "I think you are being too harsh on yourself," the voice on the other side followed up.

 "You do?"

 "Yes. Also, heathen in quite harsh."

 You giggled nervously. However, those nerves were dwindling with every joke he cracked. There was something soothing about his husky voice that sounded like he was half asleep and just awakened from a quick nap.  "That is what I feel like whenever I muster up the courage to speak to him about this."

 "Start from the beginning."

 "Are you sure it's okay for me to be telling you all this in a church nonetheless?"

 Silence. Was he actually thinking if it was okay? You circled your thumbs and waited for him to speak but when he didn’t you leaned closer again.

 "Hello?"

 “You came here because you needed help. You came here looking for answers and acceptance. You will find all 3 here. So, let's begin again. Trust me I've heard it all."

 You sighed relieved by his welcoming words. You then nodded and mustered even more courage. "Okay. Forgive me lord for I have sinned I've never confessed before.

 "What is your sin?"

 "Lust."

 The silence stretched for so long then the person on the other side of the screen cleared their throat.

 "Lust. Go on. How are you lustful?"

 His voice was even deeper than before.

 "I like sex--like I really, really like sex. I know the bible leans more on sex for procreation and marital health, but I am not married, and I have no plans for children. So, for me, sex is something that feels good, better than good, amazing especially if it is done right and the person I am with understands a woman's body and needs."

 The silence returned but only for a few moments. "Ehm, I'm listening."

 "Lately I've been feeling unfulfilled."

 "Sexually?"

 "Yes, mainly. I have a great career, amazing friends, wonderful family, and a life I love but when it comes to sex it's just not cutting it. The guy I've been seeing..."

 "Boyfriend?"

 He sounded disappointed and that made you pause. Why would he sound disappointed? You explained it away deciding that he was disappointed in it not being a husband or fiancé.

 "You mentioned you were not married just trying to get a better understanding," he clarified.

 "Oh. Not really. We see each other whenever we have an--itch."

 "For sex. Understood."

 "You sound very chill about this father."

 "I am simply here to listen and never to judge--my child. This is the house of the lord, and all are welcome to be who they are and lay down their burdens. That is the lord I represent."

 He sounded like the cool youth pastor that was written about in some YA novels. The one who would create raps for G.O.D. You stifled a laugh at the thought.

 "Wow, that's really cool. Anyway, he's very...vanilla. Whenever we meet--. Wait should I explain what vanilla is? Um...well."

 "No need," he quickly interrupted.

 "Really?"

 "Uh...I am what I am now, but I was not born a priest."

 His unexpected answer had you snort loudly before a laugh escaped you. "Well go on then fuck it up, father. Damn no, I didn't mean that."

 He heartily chuckled. "It's alright. Go on"

 "He's vanilla and never really knows what I need and rarely ever do I cum. I mean reach completion."

 "Then why are you wasting your time with someone like that?"

 "Uh...well...ummm...I am very picky with who I spend my time with. When I said that I like sex, it didn't mean I was some chick who sleeps around with anybody with the right body part."

 "Of course not. I didn't mean to imply that. I'm sorry."

 "No, it's cool."

 "For the record, I didn't think that of you anyway."

 "Okay. Thanks. It's just most guys are insensitive assholes who think if a woman likes sex and pleasure then they must be easy and DTF anyone."

 "Guys like that are the ones who should be offed and sent straight to hell."

 "Preach it, father.”

 It took some time for his words to make full impact, but after a few moments, they did. “Wait shouldn't you say they are also God's children and just need to be steered to the righteous path?"

 "You sound well versed in the priesthood."

 "Movies."

 He laughed again and it sounded so welcoming that you laughed with him.

 "Please continue. He doesn't satisfy you."

 "No. I thought I could handle it and finish myself off or something but tonight I couldn't."

 "Did you just have sex tonight?"

 "Yes. I guess that's another sin you have to forgive me for."

 "And you are unfulfilled."

 "Yes. So unfulfilled. My bullet couldn't even take care of this, not even my rabbit, hell not even the usual porn I watch."

 The silence across the way was deafening and you noticed. It was like you’d become hypersensitive to quietness since sitting in this booth. Suddenly he groaned as if in pain.

 "Are you okay father?"

 He groaned again then took a few breaths. Through the tiny holes in the screen, you could only make out a head turned down, everything else was shadows. "Completely.”

 It came out hoarse, strangled. “Ehm...continue.”

 "Uh, so I facetimed him and decided to tell him what I need and even some things I would be into, and he laughed and had the most freaked out look on his face. He said it wasn't normal and I shouldn't tell anyone about it again. Like he made me feel crazy and so--dirty."

 "Uh-huh. For better context. What are these preferences--my child?"

 You twiddled your thumbs then uncrossed your ankles only to cross them again. "I don't know if I should say them now. You might say the same thing."

 "No. I would never. Remember I said my place is not to judge and I am here to help?"

 You took a deep breath and tried to calm those nerves that were beginning to creep up again. After another breath you began.

 "I um...I told him I want to be tied up while he takes all control and completely ruins me. I told him I wanted to try doing it while others watched that him being so gentle is a turn-off and I wouldn't mind some teeth or nail marks on me. I can see myself being into BDSM and get turned on by dominance and submission. I want to be choked a little while he slams so hard into me that I see stars. I want to be weak in the knees unable to walk, sore throat can't talk, eyes full of tears, chin covered in slobber, delirious with pleasure until I squirt and then pass out to do it again. I want him to know my body and what it needs better than I do. I want dirty, nasty, rough, hot passionate sex I'll never forget."

 The silence this time was so heavy so filled with the charge of excitement and arousal. You didn't know why you were slightly turned on finally getting it all out, especially to a priest in a church of all places. Hell, you didn't even know why you had come in here in the first place. The idea of confessional had always creeped you out for some reason. Telling a stranger your secret sin. It felt so vulnerable.

 "Shit. Surely I should burst into flames for all that right? First in line on the locomotive to hell? I shouldn't have said all that."

 "Are you ashamed of these desires? Do you wish to be rid of them?"

 "He made me feel ashamed."

 "Fuck him. Are you ashamed?"

 "Father?"

 "Answer me.”

 His voice was serious, and authoritative now. “Look inside yourself and answer truthfully."

 You did as he said and took some time and truly listened to yourself and everything that was going off inside you right now. Among everything, the uncertainty, the excitement, and the confusion nowhere inside of her did you feel ashamed. Not at all.

 "No. I'm not ashamed."

 "Do you wish to be rid of them?"

 "No," you replied with a little more confidence.

 "Good. You should be unapologetically you. You should not allow others to make you feel small or shameful for who you are, what you want, or what you deserve. You deserve all of that. You deserve to be sexually fulfilled and happy in all avenues of your life. We all only have one to live and restricting ourselves from true happiness is not doing service to someone, it does a disservice to ourselves."

 You sat there thinking over his words and gained confidence from each of them. He sounded as if he spoke from experience.

 "Is this your first day as a priest? I don't think you should tell parishioners to sin more to live a fulfilled life if you truly want to gain access to heaven."

 He snorted. "It is my first day doing this, but I stand by my words."

 You sat there noting your nerves had melted away and your confused state had turned to one of mellowness. You didn’t feel in a war with yourself anymore. Perhaps this was why others did this.

 "Do you feel better?"

 "Yes."

 "Good, then my work is done."

 "Wait shouldn't you give me instructions to repent like a Hail Mary or ten or something?"

 "Will it ensure you do not sin again?"

 Snorting, you replied, "Probably not."

 "Then you are free to step out of here and live your life with one piece of advice."

 "What's that?"

 "Drop that pathetic loser you're seeing. You can do so much better little lamb."

 The doors on the other side opened but you didn't register it until nearly a minute had passed. When you stepped out and looked in the opposite booth from sheer curiosity, it was empty with no priest inside.

 "Little lamb? What kind of priest was that?"

  ~~~~~~~

 -Him-

4 hours later and he was still solid as a brick hard.

 "Fuck!”

 He palmed himself yet again then squeezed hoping to relieve some of the ache there but no luck and no relief. He shoved his hand under his head and stared up through the glass roof of his skylight at the night sky. It was clear without a cloud in sight allowing the stars to really shine.

 "I want to be choked a little while he slams so hard into me that I see stars."

 His cock throbbed so forcefully it could be seen through his now too tight pajama bottoms. Glancing down, he groaned exasperatedly.

 "Come on. It’s not funny anymore."

 He knew he shouldn’t have gone into that confessional. He knew he should have found somewhere else to wait for his manager as he spoke with the priest of the church he was donating a large amount of money to because of his connection to some of the kids he'd encountered the weekend before.

 He'd gone at that time because he was sure it would be empty and there would be no stray photos of him leaked. Donating money was no fun when everyone knew you'd done it. He liked the incognito life. He just wanted somewhere that had zero chance of him bumping into someone. No way did he expect someone to drop into the other side of the confessional and no way did he expect that someone to have that kind of confession.

 He closed his eyes as he recalled the little slivers of her face. Plum painted lips that looked full, a cute nose, skin that looked incredibly soft, and eyes that called to him. From the small perforations in the wood, he would classify you as a fucking goddess.

 Once you began your confession he should have interrupted and set the record straight but there was something about your voice that held him in place, silencing him. He’d picked up the distress in it, the frustration and uncertainty. Then the more he listened he fell under some spell. When she mentioned her definite non virgin status, he was way past curious. Maybe that’s what possessed him to answer her when she asked if he was there.

 "Curiosity," he muttered mulling over it.

 He thought over your entire confession and within seconds his cock throbbed again. Without even realizing it his hand had drifted into his pajama bottoms and was now wrapped around his engorged length.

 "Fuck!"

 "I want to be tied up while he takes all control and completely ruins me. I wanted to try doing it while others watched, that him being so gentle is a turn-off and I wouldn't mind some teeth or nail marks on me. I can see myself being into BDSM and get turned on by dominance and submission. I want to be choked a little while he slams so hard into me that I see stars. I want to be weak in the knees unable to walk, sore throat can't talk, eyes full of tears, chin covered in slobber, delirious with pleasure until I squirt and then pass out to do it again. I want him to know my body and what it needs better than I do. I want dirty, nasty, rough, hot passionate sex I'll never forget."

 "Uggh. Uggh. Uggh. Fuuuuuck."

 His hand moved so fast he was sure it was going faster than the speed of light. It had to have been. His groans, moans and grunts filled the space as he raced toward a finish he imagined would go across her beautiful face or her breasts he couldn’t see but was convinced were equally as gorgeous as her aura. Within seconds, his back angled off the bed as if whatever had possessed him earlier was finally exiting his body and being pulled into the air.

 "Holy fuck!”

 The white spots that decorated his vision made it impossible to see anything and in that moment he didn’t care. He was only focused on the amazing feelings coursing through him. When he finally regained some motion and sense he glanced down and found stream after stream of his release decorating his chest, pelvis, and pajama bottoms.

 "Ah shit. Come on! Haven't had to jerk myself off since I was twenty fucking years old, and one confessional tipped me over the edge? Unfuckinbelievable!”

 Not in a rush to get up and filled with frustration, he looked back to his skylight at the glittering stars and thought of the side profile of her face. Within seconds, he felt himself harden again and it was then he knew his cock was not done. He was in for a long night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[uptoolateart]

‘As long as WE know she’s lying...’

You know that moment way back when Lila first arrived, and Adrien said to Marinette, ‘As long as we know she’s lying...isn’t that enough?’

It’s always stuck out at me, because on the one hand, he’s right. It’s important to pick our battles. Not everything merits a fight. This is especially important to remember in our modern social media world, where many people find it all too easy to lay into others when they’re hidden behind a screen.

On the other hand....

I think Adrien’s question was a rhetorical moment for the audience, demanding us to ask: is it really enough?? Because it can be paired so easily with the other frequently quoted line: ‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing.’

And we need to match all of that up with the common theme of ‘adults ruin everything all the time’, said by Nino back in ‘The Bubbler’. Because so much in this show is about seeing through corruption.

If Lila were real, I’d see her as a troubled teenage girl in desperate need of help. However, Lila is a character in a TV show that makes heavy use of symbolism and allegory, and so I regard her as a symbol for the ‘small’ deceptions we come across in daily life. The ones we shrug off as ‘harmless’ and therefore allow to flourish without our awareness, stealthily gaining followers, until suddenly you might find yourself surrounded by people parroting the same discomfiting views.

When Alya invites Lila into their group established to help take down Monarch...that’s your classic mole scenario, planted to feed misinformation. That same episode ends with Nino actually shaking hands with Gabriel. The allegory could not be shoved into our faces more.

I suppose the real problem is: how do we know what’s misinformation and what isn’t? How do we know when we’re a Marinette or an Alya, i.e. seeing through the deception vs inviting it into our lives? Well...I’m not sure we can know. That’s the scary part. It really is for each of us to decide individually, trusting our instincts.

The key point is: when do we let it slide, and when do we take a stand? Because if Lila really were just a school girl with problems, I think Adrien’s initial stance was the correct one. There are things you just need to let go. Unless, of course, you take the view that standing up to bullies today means saving future victims from harm - very valid.

But we, as the audience, know Lila is so much more than just a school bully, and Adrien will naturally learn this too, in time. He lets a lot slide, but soon he will learn it is all too big to let go.

At that point, he and others will see that they needed to step up sooner. Because standing by and doing nothing has allowed evil to triumph...for now. But, importantly, as soon as we see through a ‘Lila’, it’s time to speak up and do something. No matter how bad things get, it is never too late to make that stand.

*** In comments, please refrain from bringing any ‘misinformation specifics’ into the conversation. These will be deleted. I do not want this thread to turn into an argument. I only wanted to point out that I believe the story arc is reminding us that when we see things that conflict with our moral views, there are times when it’s important to speak up. But not in a hostile way, as this just makes us part of the problem. ***

CAVEAT: I am watching in order, with no spoilers, and have only seen up through Transmission. Please no spoilers in comments :) :)

[scarrletmoon]

this is going to keep bothering me unless i finally put it down but let’s really quickly talk about ed, gender and trans femme headcanons

just right off the bat, i’m not saying that you can never HC ed as trans femme, and if you say that’s what i’m demanding, please point to the exact paragraph where i said that

moving on

my reticence to jump into the babygirlification of ed teach in the first few months of the fandom comes from the fact that i’ve felt this undercurrent of discomfort around masculinity in fandom and online queer community.

i mean, i say undercurrent but any trans masc can tell you how much (online) queer spaces hate trans men, especially bc they think of them as gender traitors. people will proclaim how progressive they are, how they’re fighting for queer liberation and bodily autonomy, and then turn around and say the most vile shit about men that you’ve ever heard. people will often excuse it in a myriad of ways — “obviously I don’t mean all men, but you asking me to qualify that means you’re a misogynist” or “i’m allowed to say this bc men have hurt me” or “if trans men are men then why are they trying to escape their compliance in patriarchy. i’m actually affirming their gender by assuming they’re dangerous as soon as they come out”

all of these reasons are fucked in different ways but this ain’t about them. this is about ed

i bring up the adversity towards masculinity bc i thought it might be a possible explanation for what i was seeing; some people seemed to be treating ed like a closeted trans woman, especially based on his actions in s1 ep10. he’s acting more soft and “feminine” so maybe he’s a trans woman and just doesn’t get it! and this bothered me for a bunch of reasons

first, ofmd goes out of its way to depict many different kinds of masculinity, across race, gender identity, sexuality and even hobbies and interests. all of the men on the revenge aren’t the idealized version of what masculinity is supposed to be. and yet they’re all still men.

second, there’s nothing inherently wrong with being a man. the real problem is patriarchy, which even women (and which especially white women) uphold too. this demonization of masculinity makes it so much harder to talk about how patriarchy actually functions. women are not inherently pure, non-violent angels. men are not inherently evil and irredeemable

third, ed is not white. we should know by now that gender and gender presentation are not exact matches across all cultures

so i think part of the reason why people HC a brown indigenous man as trans femme is bc they see some feminine traits — long hair, emotional vulnerability, a penchant for finery, etc — and bc they’re uncomfortable thinking of ed as still a man, they can incorporate him into womanhood in a way that matches their worldview (namely, that women are harmless and victims to protect, and worthy of that protection in a way that men are not)

(btw the first time i tried to explain this on twitter i had to delete the whole thread bc people started calling me transphobic and let me tell you, white trans people telling me, a black trans person this? not a good time)

anyway, i don’t think trans femme headcanons of ed are bad. i think they’re pretty cool actually. but being a woman is more than your hobbies and the way you dress and your actions. the single requirement for being a woman is choosing to exist as one, in any capacity, whether you come out or not

another thing is that ed doesn’t have the same gender shift that jim does, at least not from my perspective. i think ed is pretty comfortable with being a man. he’s just a queer man who also likes soft things, and gets to be softer and more traditionally “feminine” around stede. so it feels very uncomfortable when white people in particular assign ed as female when he’s shown no indication of being so

it also bothers me bc i love seeing a man of colour get to explore that part of himself. it means a lot to me to see depictions of masculinity that aren’t white, that are about being emotional and loving and feminine as well as protective and masculine and strong. and when people say “ed’s a closet trans woman” it feels like “there is one way to be a man, and that’s not ed”. and as a person who spent their whole life feeling like their gender was decided for them by others, it hits home (in a bad way)

it took me a long time to be comfortable with calling ed babygirl and all that stuff; i know it’s mostly tongue in cheek but it sometimes wasn’t. i eventually decided that i wasn’t going to let others ruin my fun, even if it means that when i talk about babygirl ed, it’s different to what everyone else is doing

so i guess TL;DR: ed is a man, but he’s also an indigenous man, and trying to contort him to fit a white supremacist version of gender isn’t going to work

[boydepartment]

ive noticed you tend to apologise a lot when youre tired and taking a break 😅 you shouldnt do that. youre a human, of course you'd feel tired sometimes. hope youre taking enough rest and recovering soon, no pressure to take and accept requests.

im sorry your interview went weird, but its good you pulled back the moment you found it sketchy. hopefully youd get a chance to accomplish your dream sometime soon in the future! take care jayjay

-🎄

hi it’s okay 🎄 anon :) i’m gonna use your ask to talk abt something if that’s okay, this isn’t @ you, i pinky promise.

i’m gonna be honest after valentine’s day i might just leave this account ? i don’t think ill delete anything but i just can’t be on tumblr or read any of the content i used to. i talked about it a bit a couple days ago i just want to elaborate more.

it makes me really just idk :/ i don’t like the community at all anymore and it’s been declining my mental for a bit. i love enha and all my people in the different groups i like, but i really really hate how some ppl write them and it just freaks me out REALLY bad. ESPECIALLY RIKI. like fuck some of you guys are so weird bruh…. and shameless. like you have no respect and don’t even on the “it’s not that serious.” you’re fucking weird. period. there’s no reason to make some of the shit you guys say public at all.

it’s been talked abt more recently how dubcon and dark fics are more common now and i can’t keep scrolling past it and seeing it. it freaks me out that people will write about actual people like that especially someone who lived at the receiving end of abuse like that. why would you want someone you love to be put in the situation of the abuser? like it doesn’t click to me and sometimes even scrolling past and seeing the tags and send me into a bad episode so i just can’t anymore. i don’t know how people think that’s okay to push their coping mechanism that’s darker and extremely damaging on an actual HUMAN BEING. coping mechanism or not that’s fucking weird. they may be idols but they are human beings too.

i’ve also had a few asks in my anon that are just straight up rude, demanding, or calling me weird for liking riki at all? like you are attacking the wrong girl i have nothing but respect for him. those anons are just stressing me out aswell and it’s just too much. i’m exhausted constantly being disrespected. tumblr is supposed to be a platform where i can get away and get lost in lighthearted stories and it’s not that for me anymore.

i might come back after i leave on valentine’s day but i need time to actually enjoy kpop like i used to. the fans are ruining it for me and it’s just been making me really depressed. i can’t even go on tiktok sometimes because of the fan bases. i’ve always been very open with you guys and like, i need to pull back from these fan bases and take care of myself. i barely eat, sleep, or enjoy anything anymore(that’s due to offline stuff but being on tumblr doesn’t help any of that at all). i miss having fun and the communities are ruining it.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I wrote the following at 4am when pain was keeping me from sleeping. (No, not that pain. And no, not that one either. It’s my elbow now, and damned if I know why, but…OWWW!) I’m not disowning it, just explaining why it probably is a muddled mess.

I’m posting it as is simply because I hate keeping stuff like this in drafts, but also hate deleting them. I’ll put most of it under the cut ….

Sometimes the differences between how you think and someone else thinks can throw you.

I was talking to someone and in the conversation she said how she was concerned about some kids hearing bad but true things about their teacher. She said that this is because almost all kids love their teachers, so it might upset them deeply.

I was shocked.

She was shocked I was shocked.

I’m still baffled by the whole thing. Is it true that kids love their teachers?

I told her I dunno, maybe it’s because I always saw adults as human beings and not gods. I never believed any adult should be obeyed simply because they were an adult. Even my parents were never put on a pedestal but loved warts and all, and questioned when appropriate. Mom fondly says that as a toddler I would give her a “you’re sweet but stupid” look and, (though I hope that wasn’t what I was thinking since she is far from stupid) it does sort of say something to how I saw things. Grown ups were people too.

That said, teachers were even less likely to be loved than some nice old lady down the street or the delivery guy that always waved at me. At least they earned a bit of affection!

There were a handful I respected, some I merely endured irritation, many I had to be patient about by reminding myself they were merely human, and one went to open war with. Not a single one I ever loved.

Seriously, why would I love an authority figure that shows no love or respect for me, that controls my fate in a petty fist, and frequently displays no intellectual flexibility or imagination? Why would I love the guards in my prison? Why would I love people determined to shape and control me?

I had stupid teachers, cruel teachers, incompetent teachers, lazy teachers, hateful teachers, class room dictator teachers, status quo obsessed teachers, benign but going through the motions teachers, and so many more negatives I’m too tired to label.

A very, very few were pretty good teachers, but while I have a slight warmth to them, it was far from love, I was keenly aware that they didn’t reciprocate any affection I might feel, and that they were only good teachers if you fit. Odd kids out could be written off by even good teachers, with no time or interest in the ones that didn’t respond to their standard formula. And, TBH, how you treat those kids mattered more to me. I can never love someone that thinks someone “lesser” doesn’t matter.

But, as I sorta said, none if them loved me anyway. There was a peculiar tension with most of my teachers starting with kindergarten. Many actually openly delighted every time I got anything wrong, and would grin with pride if they tripped me up. They looked at me differently, with a strange wariness.

It was upsetting as hell. I hadn’t done anything.

Finally it was explained to me that I was seen “as a threat”. I was supposed to be smart, and apparently some had admitted I intimidated them. I have no idea why. Testing results and knowing stuff way beyond grade level I guess**. I’m not THAT smart!

Did they really think I was going to be correcting them in front of the class? I was no threat to their authority as class brains/boss. I’m so super sensitive to embarrassment that I always work hard to keep anyone else from feeling it. The fact I never raised my hand in class and was super well behaved in order to stay under the radar hadn’t helped. Never causing any trouble just made them more uneasy.

So I dunno, how the hell could I love people that treated me less like a little kid and more like a rattlesnake tossed in their classroom???

Look, if you loved a teacher and one changed your life for the better, congratulations! You won the true education lottery. But I can’t be the only one that only ever lost….

** NOT a real accomplishment. I grew up in a smart, well educated, and eternally curious family. You just pick up stuff.

Like, the “wall” that separated my “room” from the rest the family was a book shelf filled with high level science books. The day I realized I could read and understand anything if I just kept breaking things down and looking things up involved pulling something from beside my bed that was probably more advanced than the texts my teachers studied in college. But that wasn’t me being smart, that was me just using what was around me.

It could have just as easily been some trashy novel if I’d grown up in a different household. That’s what people don’t get. My childhood “big” vocabulary was simply what I heard at home. Maybe I’m not smart at all, but merely average that happened to grow up among the very smart?

Add in a community on the other end of the educational spectrum from my home and it creates the illusion of intelligence. I ain’t smart, I just look that way in this light.

[novorehere]

Hey all! Just wanted to give everyone a bit of a content update.

I apologize for the lack of content for the past… year. I’ve been working through some stuff, and it’s been hard for me to find the motivation or inspiration to write. It comes in short bursts, meaning I’ve been (very) slowly chipping away at multiple projects at once. I just thought I’d update everyone on how things are going and make a list (partly for myself) of what I have in the works, what still needs to be done, and what you can expect from me in the future. Admittedly these are mostly obey me fics but I DO have other things tumbling about in my brain, I promise.

Opposite Day: 2/5 chapters finished, the rest 100% planned and around 30-40% written.

I’ve been sitting on an unfinished chapter 3 for almost a year now, and have written good portions of the other chapters in the meantime. This is the project I’m most excited to finish, and I feel bad for abandoning it for so long. Rest assured, I *am* still working on it, and am extremely happy it’s been so well received.

Untitled Simeon Comfort Fic: 75% finished.

Originally I wanted this written for his birthday (which was in February lmao) but as you can see that did not happen. I’ve got the beginning and end all written out, I sort of went off the script at the end with fun purgatory hall family fluff so the only thing I don’t have written is… actually the eating part. This will probably be the first fic I actually post, seeing as it’s the closest to completion.

“A series of Obey Me Vore Headcanons” Re-Write (Title Very WIP) 2.5/7 chapters re-written

This one I don’t think I’ve mentioned on here yet. I’ve grown increasingly unsatisfied with my original obey me headcanons list that I posted last year when I first got into the fandom. A. Because I hadn’t gotten very far into the story when I wrote it and didn’t get the full scope of the characters yet and B. (Most importantly) I feel like I really didn’t do the characters justice.

Since I originally posted it, there’s been a healthy amount of discussion on depth and nuance in vore media and reducing characters to tropes, etc. I’d like to re-write this series to focus less on physical aspects and “how they eat you” but rather more of an emotional and story driven story of why they eat you and their emotions and struggles that come with it. The obey me brothers are incredibly interesting characters, and I’d like to explore them in more depth and show you how interesting they can really be and why I love them so much.

This one might take a while to complete, but it’s gonna happen at some point. I‘ll keep up the original half-finished version in the meantime since I don’t want to delete it and ao3 doesn’t allow privating fics without orphaning them. I know it’s ugly in it’s current state, just know I’m working on it and the rest of those chapters will be overhauled eventually.

“Miss Em”: 80% written (kind of)

I’ve had this one sitting in my drafts for a while now. Originally I had plans to start another multi-chapter series but then Opposite Day sort of went to shit so I scrapped it knowing it was way too ambitious. But now I still have a mostly written Mammon fic in my notes app just sitting there and it would be a shame to just…leave it. I’m not sure what I’m gonna do with this one, Maybe I’ll write the Beel companion piece to it that I had planned and just leave it as a 2-parter. Who knows. It’s really cute, and I want to share it at some point.

Untitled Obey Me mini-drabbles: 60% written

Honestly this wasn’t supposed to be a whole thing. I started randomly writing one day on a burst of inspiration and it turned into little mini “scenario slices” for all the characters and I really like how it turned out. I still need to write for two of the characters and polish up some others, but it’s a fun low-stress thing to work on in between projects. Also excited to share it possibly soon since they’re fairly short and shouldn’t take long to finish (but you know me…)

An unspecified ITWOM fanfic: 0% written, 50% planned

For those who aren’t familiar, “In the World of Monsters” is an amazing novel authored by @vore-toast that just recently received a fantastic ending and epilogue (Please read it! It’s fantastic!) And I really would like to write a little something for it to show my appreciation. I have an idea planned out, but details would involve spoilers so I can’t say much. I’d need to ask for guidance on what exactly to include since the things I would like to write about haven’t exactly *happened yet* but I’ve said too much already… hee hee. I don’t know when this fic is gonna happen, but I swear to you it will. And if my original idea doesn’t work out, it’ll be something. I WILL be writing for this series, mark my words.

Heroes Off-Duty. 0% written, ??% planned

Huh? That’s weird... That one’s not supposed to be there. Ah well, It’s not relevant anyway. Carry on.