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#I’ve never made a plan I’ve just come very very close to being worn down by the constant obsession and just giving in
voiceshearingyouloud · 8 months
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I was feeling extremely suicidal today, like the worst I have in maybe four or five years now, and I was deliberating over whether I should go to the hospital like pretty much all day and now that I feel better I realise that the moment I started drafting my suicide note in my head was probably when I should’ve decided that 😭
#it’s so hard to think logically in the moment though; and I didn’t want to worry my dad or my partner#even though me killing myself would hurt them more obviously lol#I’m glad I feel better though#finally at like 5pm after doing all the chores and getting dressed and making meals and napping and going outside and exercising and calling#people and watching my favourite things#and none of it made even the slightest difference#(and I was drafting my suicide note)#I was like alright I need to do something about this because I’m gonna get exhausted and lose the fight pretty soon#which is always how my suicidality has been#I’ve never made a plan I’ve just come very very close to being worn down by the constant obsession and just giving in#which is hard to explain to ER nurses!#anyway. as soon as I decided that it instantly was like a cloud went away so that was weird as hell and I still don’t get it but at least I#don’t want to die as much anymore!#I’m seriously good now; like just normal sad and tired#but it does scare me that it took me so long to decide to go to the hospital#cause that was really cutting it close for a while there 😬#I don’t trust myself to get it right the next time. but hopefully I’ll remember this and just go#anne speaks#now I’m just dying over how hilarious it was that I was literally drafting my suicide note and still was like hmm I wouldn’t want to worry#my partner so I don’t think it’s wise to go to the hospital.#like girl?? what???#suicidality tw#tw suicidality#suicide mention#suicide tw#tw suicide#all the trigger tags cause this post is pretty graphic lol#but anyway I’m totally safe now#wouldn’t want anyone to worry if you’re the type to worry about this#:-)
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senditcolton · 1 year
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From Eden
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a/n: i know some of y’all are getting sick of this man... but i’m not. in fact, i’m becoming more obsessed with him.  word count: 1.5k warnings: references to you and matty sharing a ‘benefits’ type of relationship. besides that, nothing! gender-neutral reader!
No tired sigh, no rolling eyes, no irony.
“Keeping my seat warm, darling?”
The laughter that was on your lips died the instant you heard his voice raise above the shouts and joy of the rest of the families around you. And when you turn on the barstool located in Aleksander Barkov’s backyard, you come face to face with Matthew, wearing that stupid smug smirk on his face.
You try to focus on that smirk, no matter how much it irritated you. Because if you let your eyes wander down to his bare chest that still had droplets of water from the pool clinging to his skin… well, you couldn’t think about that. Not if you wanted to prevent yourself from acting the fool.
Not if you wanted everyone here to know about you and Matthew’s little secret.
So, you slip back into the carefully constructed mask that you had worn for the past few months, letting your eyebrow raise in contempt.
“Yours? Last time I checked, I was sitting in Sasha’s backyard so, it’s his seat more than it is yours or mine.”
“Getting all technical on me, I see.”
“Just stating facts, Matty.”
The nickname is out of your mouth before you can pull it back in. And you can Matthew noticed from the way his eyes sparkled and that damnable smirk grew wider. You just pray that the few teammates around you were oblivious, not paying much attention to the verbal sparring match that they should be used to by now.
“Since when did you start calling Chucky anything but Matthew?” Carter asked, calling more interested glances to be sent in your direction.
So much for them not paying attention.
“I guess I’ve had too much to drink,” you reply, emphasizing your excuse with the lazy wave of your – thankfully – empty beer bottle.
“Well, you should have some more,” Matthew says with that mischievous sparkle in his eyes.
“Why? You want to hear me saying your name?” you tease.
“Much rather hear you screaming it,” he chirps back. His bold statement almost, almost, has you fumbling. Weirdly, it’s the hoots and jeers from the boys around you that steady you.
“In your dreams, Matthew,” you scoff, sliding off your chair and making your way towards the kitchen. Although, Matt calls after you, never content on you having the last word.
“My dreams often come true!”
You hear the boys laugh again and you have to fight the heat that creeps up the back of your neck. Not in embarrassment, no; the rest of the team treated you like family and you knew that they meant everything in jest. The heat appeared because… the rest of the boys had no idea how right Matthew was.
When you first met him, he was a pest. Truly lived up to his reputation. Although, perhaps that night you hadn’t made the greatest first impression. You expected a night out with the boys after a very stressful work day. You hadn’t planned on being forced to go through awkward introductions.
But the past happened and that initial meeting became how you and Matthew moved through the world; with chirps and snark and always a hint of annoyance.
Until a night after a Panther win, where the adrenaline and alcohol were at an all time high, and Matt ended up kissing you. And you liked it. You really liked it.
One thing led to another and now, here you were. Regularly sleeping with the newest star of South Florida all while still acting like he annoyed the shit out of you whenever the two of you weren’t behind closed doors.
You sigh as you walk into the empty air-conditioned kitchen, not wanting to get trapped in the questions that came with whatever you and Matthew shared. It was hard enough pretending to hate him. You didn’t want to push on the possibility of you liking him more than just a hookup.
Although, you think you might really like him. Like that.
Another sigh escapes as you grab a beer from the refrigerator, absentmindedly grabbing the bottle opener from the island, going through the motions. You are so lost in thought that you don’t even hear the door opening and realize someone else was in the kitchen. Not until a pair of strong hands land on your hips.
You slightly jump, pulling away and spinning only to come face-to-face once again with Matthew.
“What are you doing?” you ask, eyes darting out the windows towards the crowd in the backyard. A small rush of relief runs through you when you realize they were thankfully still oblivious.
You look back to Matthew, who’s initial smirk has turned into that gentle smile. It was a smile that you had found yourself waking up to on occasion, when the morning Florida sun creeped in through the blinds of his bedroom.
“What?”
“Nothing. You’re just really pretty,” he replies, punctuating his words by hooking his fingers through your belt loops and pulling your hips flush to his.
“Matthew,” you reply, your voice taking on a scolding tone.
“What? No one else is in here.”
“Yeah, but anyone could walk in. There isn’t a locked door separating us from the backyard.”
“I could get you behind a locked door,” comes his smooth reply, leaning in towards your lips. You halt his forward motion with a hand on his chest.
“I’m not fucking you in your captain’s house.”
“Not exactly what I meant.” Your only response is a hum, the sarcastic ‘sure’ conveyed clearly, even without the words being spoken. You manage to untangle yourself from him and move towards the trash before Matt speaks again.
“I was thinking maybe you’d come back to mine after dinner.”
“Dinner?” you question, not really looking up at him as you throw the bottlecap away. “I didn’t realize the team was doing that tonight too.”
“They aren’t.”
The waver in his voice is what calls your attention back to him. As soon as your eyes land on him, you are surprised to see that suave, smooth Matthew that everyone thought they knew had completely disappeared. In his place was Matty, his eyes bouncing from you to the floor. You watch as his hand goes to tuck that invisible strand of hair behind his ear, a quirk that you noticed many times before and always found stupidly endearing.
“I was thinking it could be just you and me.”
The realization slowly dawns on you, the understanding of exactly what he was asking.
“Matthew, are you asking me on a date?” you gently tease, not wanting to miss the opportunity to make him even more flustered, no matter how you actually felt about the man.
“If I was, would you say yes?”
The question is put so bluntly that it knocks down almost every imagined wall that had previously been built between the two of you. Because the answer was yes. Even after the rocky start, even after swearing up and down that the connection the two of you shared was purely physical, you ended up really liking Matthew.
And it wasn’t that he just wore you down or wiggled his way into your heart. No, it was because you had seen a side of him that few rarely got to see. Those softer parts of him that no one really seemed to notice or that the general public never really cared about.
Like those mornings where you would wake up to him watching you sleep, that soft smile on his lips.
You liked him. You might even grow to love him.
However, you weren’t about to let him know all of that just yet.
“I might,” you respond, walking towards him, your eyes sparkling with that same energy he always directs your way. You stop mere inches in front of him, the playful grin pulling at the corner of your lips. “I may need a little convincing though.”
Matthew reads your teasing with ease, not wasting any time before he leans down, capturing your lips in his. You’ve kissed Matthew a hundred times before this. But somehow, this kiss stood apart. It was both similar and different from all the others. Yes, it was filled with passion and fire. But now, it was also filled with deeper emotions, emotions the two of you had been too scared to admit, emotions that were as mysterious as the depths of the ocean. The combination was intoxicating and you can’t stop yourself from pressing against him, pulling him closer to you.
“I fucking knew it!”
A different voice bounces off the walls of the kitchen and you break away, looking around Matthew’s frame to see Nick standing in the doorway. You feel the heat flare in your cheeks and you don’t even try to pretend like you weren’t just caught red-handed as you bury your head in Matthew’s chest.
“Benny, you owe me twenty bucks!” Nick shouts, his voice retreating as he returns to the backyard. Beneath your forehead, you can feel Matt’s chest shake in laughter as he wraps his arms around you, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head.
“Guess we weren’t being as subtle as we thought.”
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call-sign-shark · 1 year
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A Red-Letter Day || Part 1/2
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Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Civil!Reader
PART 1 || PART 2
Summary: Jake receives a mysterious letter from a woman he has never met.  She wrote the date on which she wants to end her life. Obsessed by this stranger he nicknamed “Birdie”, he will do his best to save her.
Content: Angst, mention of suicide attempt stopped at the right moment, fluff, very soft interactions, Hangman being a hero <3
Word count: 1.6k 
Song: La Lettre  - Renan Luce (the inspiration behind this short story)
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“Dear Nicholas, 
I am writing you this letter since I don’t find the courage to call you. Hearing your voice would hurt my soul a little more, and I think I’ve cried enough tears for you. Far be it from me to bother you, but I need to write my feelings down. Now, I won’t beg you to come back since you have already made the decision to cut ties with me.
You stole my heart only to break it into millions of pieces. You shattered my very soul as you left, destroying the last snippets of hope I had for you and me. I could live with the fact that all your promises were lies, but I cannot handle the consequences of your cowardice. 
I am going to kill myself this Sunday. I’ll jump from the cliff where we met.
I cannot take it anymore. This life has worn me out.
 I thought you would be the remedy to my wounds, but the truth is you were the knife that reopened them and created new ones. Now I am just a mess of aching flesh. My last wish is to fly high in the sky and disappear in the clouds, where I belong.
I won’t sing for you anymore.
Your little bird,
Y/X “
Jake brought the letter to his nose, smelling the delicate perfume the it had been sprayed with. He closed his eyes and exhaled through his nostrils, loudly. Jake Hangman Seresin had never been a romantic man. Throughout his uni years as a fratboy, all he wanted was fucking without strings attached, which he did. Then he became a pilot and decided to focus on his job. As much as he loved being an aviator, this was a far too taxing life to have a stable relationship and build a family… But when he opened up the letter and read this woman line after line, he felt his heart breaking. Coping with what he just read, Jake reopened his lids and looked at the letter in its smallest details. He noticed the red lipstick stain the little bird-girl had left with her mouth just under her signature. A faint smile appeared on the pilot’s thin lips when he thought about her kissing the letter. Then, his  green eyes caught sight of a few places in which the paper was crinkled. He squinted, wondering what could have caused it. The little voice in his head had barely finished asking the question that Jake’s body tensed. Tears had fallen on the letter. That was why the paper was crinkled from here and there. Birdie had been crying her eyes out while writing her sad and planned demise down.
"What are you doing? We've been waiting for you for almost one hour. Rooster's already drunk." Coyote's voice popped his thought bubble, causing him to grunt.
Yet, Jake kept his green eyes fixed on the perfumed letter. The woman's writing was slightly wobbly as if she had trouble writing because of her heartbreaking sobs. The blonde pilot shook his head: how come that poor bird decided to end her life because of some damn cunt? Where was the cliff she talked about in her letter? Questions were racing through his head, drowning his surroundings and overwhelming his senses. Was she really going to kill herself? Or was it some kind of emotional blackmail? 
"Hangman."
He did not answer. To be honest, he had not even heard his best friend's voice, for he was far too lost in his thoughts. He was trying to comprehend what was the full story behind this heart-wrenching farewell.
"Jake, man." 
Jake came back to reality. He looked around him, utterly confused. Time seemed to have disappeared for a moment. The pilot raised his gaze toward his best friend, who had to shake him out of his lethargy.
"Gosh, you freaked me out. The fuck is wrong with you?" Coyote raised an eyebrow, his dark and suspicious gaze was staring at him. Something was definitely wrong with Hangman.
"Am fine." 
The two knew each other since flying school and they soon became inseparable. They had been through exhausting training, taxing exams, and tests, yet never he had seen Jake that concerned. Coyote snorted with worry as he observed his best friend ignoring him and shifting his focus back to the handwritten letter he was holding.
"Who is it from?"
"I don't know, man." Jake retorted, absent-mindedly. All his being was obsessed with the letter. He could not keep his green eyes from it, as if the answer to all his questioning would miraculously appear through the cryptic lines.
Coyote opened his eyes wide, astounded by such an answer. He leaned back against the wall, arms, and feet crossed: " So you're telling me that someone sent you a letter but you don't know who is it from? Next thing you're gonna tell me is that it comes from a secret admirer." He teased.
"Fuck off, dude." Jake almost snapped.
The smile faded from Coyote's lips instantly. He, who thought Hangman was joking all along, really started to worry for his best friend. Without thinking twice, Coyote grabbed a chair and sat next to Jake. His voice's tone softened.
"Okay, okay. What's the matter? Can you explain it to me?"
"It came to my mail this morning," He said, waving the letter, "There was no address written on the envelope but it is addressed to a certain Nicholas," Jake brought the letter to his nose again to smell the feminine fragrance, "I think the postman delivered it by mistake."
"And what's the problem? I mean, you are acting super weird about it. Delivery mistakes happen a lot y'know. All you have to do is give back the letter to the mail office and they'll deal with it." Coyote rocked back and forth on his chair. He did not understand why Hangman was making a fuss over a mistake.
"The problem is I read the letter. I was curious because as you can smell, it has perfume on it. And because someone drew a bird on it."
"I know people say that curiosity killed the cat but that's okay, it's no big deal."
"You don't seem to understand, Javy. The girl who wrote that shit is going to kill herself."
Jake's words fell on him like a guillotine's blade on a prisoner's neck. His lips parted, startled by the revelation: "What? What do you mean she's going to kill herself?"
"She wrote it in there! I looked at the stamp and it had been sent three days ago."
"Do you think she-" Coyote's words remained stuck in his throat. He did not want to think about the girl's woeful fate.
"No, I don't think she did yet. She wrote the date of her suicide, and it's tomorrow. God, Javy. We have to do something. " Jake turned his head to stare at his best friend, his green emerald eyes glistening with concern.
"What? But Jake, how do you want us to do something about that? Bro, you don't even know where she lives. Even if we did, imagine if it's at the other end of the country! You're not gonna teleport in her living room to tell her not to kill herself¨" The whole situation was so incredible for Coyote that he had trouble realizing it was really happening, " or maybe it is some kind of sick joke?"
"No one would joke about that, dumbass!" 
"Oh, Hell I dunno! We should call the cops then!" He was starting to panic.
"No, no, no. They won't do anything about it. There's no address, nothing. They'll just throw the letter away." Jake shook his head. Giving the letter to the police was absolutely out of question. Birdie needed help. Birdie needed his help. He gently hugged the paper against his pounding heart, thinking hard.
"Fuuuuck- that sucks!" Coyote complained. He had thrown his head back and pressed the palm of his hands against his face. He was utterly discomfited by such a dramatic situation. Hell, he was a pilot! Not a psychologist of some sort.
"I'm going to find her. I don't know how, but I will."
"Jake, don't be stupid. You only have one day left and you don't even know where to start! " Coyote complained.
"I fucking don't care, I'll save Birdie. She needs someone to help her!" Jake clenched his jaws. His eyes fell on the letter again searching for the slightest detail he would have omitted.
"Birdie? Is that her name?"
"Not really, that's... Nevermind." Jake waved the comment off. He had no time to explain this insignificant detail to Javy.
Time was playing against them. Coyote stared at his best friend, even more confused than before. He sighed. What kind of situation would they get themselves into? Anxiety started creeping again inside his brain. Somehow Jake was right, they could not let a young woman kill herself without batting an eye. Even more when taking into account that she would be dead long before the main addressee would receive her suicide note. Yet, a fear remained in Coyote's head. What if they found her a few seconds before she killed herself? What if people mistake their actions and charge them with murder? He looked up at Jake, who was examining the stamp. 
"Gimme that." Coyote finally gave up and grabbed the letter. He decided that helping Jake was better than sitting there without doing anything like an idiot.
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emmy-dekarios-bg3 · 16 days
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Heart of the Weave - A Baldur’s Gate Fanfiction - Part 2
Chapter 3
We leave their house and head back to the tower so I can get ready for our little outing tonight. I know we’re going out, but luckily the surprise wasn’t ruined by where we’re going, though it matters none to me. I just enjoy the company of my handsome wizard husband.
“Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you never rescued me from that rune?” Gale questions as we embrace the quiet scenery during our walk home. “Or…if we went our separate ways?” Fuck. I can’t imagine, nor do I want to.
“What do you mean?”
“If you never rescued me… I’d be dead. If you never talked me out of using the orb… I’d be dead then, too. I don’t know. I often wonder what made you want to save me, even in the beginning.” I smile as I hold his hand, Jenevelle asleep on my chest as I hold her with my free arm. “Just a thought rummaging through my brain.”
“Well, I couldn’t just leave you there. Besides, the moment I pulled you out and our eyes met… I just knew, right then and there. I don’t know what life would look like if circumstances were different, nor do I want to find out.” I hear a slight chuckle as he squeezes my hand, as if he never wants to let me go.
“I love you so much. I would have saved you too if the roles were reversed. I have no doubt about that in my mind.”
We make it back to the tower and I begin to get ready for our night. As I finish getting dressed, I notice a new glow as I stare at myself in the mirror. My skin is not only the clearest it’s ever been, but there’s an unusual shine within me I never caught before. Is this part of being immortal, or is this just the beauty I’m finally finding within myself? A version of me that’s so full of life and self-love. I smile at my reflection as I slide into my slim-tight emerald romper, which I haven’t worn since my first actual date with Gale after defeating the elder brain.
I strut confidently down the stairway to the living room, only to hear Karlach talking with Gale. She’s spewing some unusual nonsense, and it takes me a few moments to realize she’s actually talking to him about a dream she had last night. Random of course, but I wouldn’t expect less from Karlach.
“Sorry Gale, I was really pumped to tell someone about my dream that wasn’t Wyll. I told him once – okay, twice – already, and I’m almost sure he doesn’t want to hear it a third time. Oh, Emmy! You look beautiful!”
“Well, your in-depth and very vivid dream about having wings and wandering the endless pink skies while brutally slaying your enemies sounds like it would make for a fine play one day, I’m sure of it,” Gale mentions. “As long as they leave out the part where you fornicate with a demon. Anyway, Jenevelle should be good to go. Maybe a bottle before the moon ascends into the sky, but she just woke up from a nap and I just got her changed.”
“Awh, hell yeah! Come here, little Dekarios. And Emmy, I hope to the Gods above that you have a wonderful night.” I hug her for a moment, thankful to have her as such a supportive best friend who wants nothing but the best for me. Of course, I reciprocate.
I wonder where Gale plans on taking me; it sounds like a place I’ve never been to before. He looks at me passionately with his hand out in front of him, gesturing to me to take it. I place my hand within his, smiling as we step out the door and close it behind us. I inhale the pleasing scent of the ocean waters, and it hits differently under the night sky.
“Say, have you ever enjoyed the pleasures of fine dining on a rather large boat?” Gale asks as we continue to walk the paveway through town.
“No, actually. Why do you ask?” He smiles and spontaneously halts me by placing his hand on my shoulder and pulling me in for an intense and powerful kiss that has me shaking in my shoes, and internally I’m begging for more.
“Sorry… I had to get that out of my system. I just love you so much.”
We continue our walk, though I’m curious why he never answered my question, and I notice a large ship in the distance not too far from us, which luminates brighter than the moon itself.
“Whoa…” I murmur, observing the ship. I’ve had a couple opportunities in my lifetime to be on a large boat, but due to my fear of krakens, I’ve avoided them. After my intense adventure, I’ve learned to not fear those wretched creatures.
“Whoa indeed. It sure is astronomical in size, much larger than I anticipated. That’s where we’ll be eating dinner, maybe a dance or two, if you’d fancy that.”
“But…how can we afford this? With all the gold we need to save for countless amount of diapers for Jenevelle –” He places his finger over my lips gently, not realizing that’s a kink of mine.
“Don’t you worry. Financially, we’re alright, I promise. Besides, I asked my mother ideas for your birthday. She asked my very kind and, well, wealthy uncle if we could reserve it for the evening. We don’t have to sail the seas. We can just enjoy each other’s company and indulge in this exquisite evening. I want to make you feel so special.”
“You already do. You’ve always made me feel special beyond measure.”
“I appreciate that. I really do. I just felt that you deserve a night out, but something unique you’ll forever remember.” My face lights up as I try not to cry, realizing I truly did marry the most incredible man.
“I love you so damn much,” I murmur, my voice cracking just a little from fighting tears. He can tell.
“And I love you.”
Gale leads me up to the boat where we are seated outside underneath the twinkling stars and the glowing aura of the torches around us. The gentle sounds of the waves make me feel at ease, relaxing my brain like a very delicate lullaby. The waiter brings us our menus, and for some reason he reminds me of someone I knew before.
“Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Dekarios. What a pleasure!” the giddy young man says enthusiastically. He is a rather tall wood-elf with scruffy brown hair and vibrant forest-green eyes.
“Hello again Jamus. It’s nice to see you again,” Gale chimes in with a friendly tone and smile.
“Could I get you two lovely people a glass of wine?” Gale and I exchange glances and we both nod in agreement. “My pleasure then. I’ll be back shortly.” Jamus hurries off into the kitchen energetically, and I can’t help but wonder who he reminds me of. Not just his looks but his entertaining personality.
“Why does he look so familiar?”
“Ah, I figured you’d catch on. He’s the brother of Jasik, the druid in Baldur’s Gate that helped you discover you were pregnant.”
“That makes a lot of sense actually.” I notice the moonlight hanging above the ocean, staring at its own reflection in the waters. It feels so nice to be somewhere so quiet; a place that exposes the true beauty of the night. It’s times like these I can truly appreciate being alive.
“You know… We’ve come so far these last couple of years,” Gale mentions, keeping intimate eye contact with me. I blush and bite my lower lip, not realizing I probably look goofy as hell.
“I didn’t think I’d meet the love of my life by pulling a stranger out of a rock, but here we are,” I add, chuckling. My cheeks are still warm from blushing. I smile amorously at him, falling deeper in love with him every moment.
“Well, I fell in love with you at the first glance. I knew you wouldn’t be like Mystra. I knew you were something much better. Much deeper. Much more loving.”
Jamus prances up to us and brings us our wine, placing our glasses on the table. I get vibes from him that’s nervous about something, but I didn’t want to say a word.
“Do you two need a moment?” Gale and I basically order a buffet of delicious food, though I imagine we’ll be here awhile before it arrives. “Wonderful. Your food will be here in… Well, roughly thirty minutes. Feel free to request a song from the pianist and make sure to call for me if you need anything else.” I nod and smile at the kind man.
“Thank you.” As the man walks off once more, Gale leans in close to my ear.
“That fellow is getting a hefty tip for sure.”
A soft beautiful melody plays from the pianist’s fingers on the instrument, a tune so breathtaking I can’t seem to focus on anything else. It brings back happy memories – from my childhood to the day I married Gale, and of course the day our newborn baby was placed in my arms for the first time. I look at Gale as I reminisce, smiling and probably looking ridiculous as I dissociate for a moment.
“Slow dance with me?” I ask him. His face lights up as he stands up, reaching out for my hand.
“Of course, my love.” We walk to the open area of the boat, feeling the warm breeze of the air as it moves peacefully from the ocean waves. He places both of his hands on my waist as I wrap my arms around his neck.
“We’ll be on this Earth together forever. I hope you’ll still love me a thousand years from now,” I mutter in his ear as we sway slowly to the music. He presses his lips on my forehead for a moment.
“I will never stop loving you, Emmy. I will only leave if that’s what you beg of me, but I plan on being by your side until this world disintegrates into ash…if that were to ever happen. You, the mother of my child, my beautiful wife… I love you.”
{part 2 will speed up starting next chapter I promise! Check out my AO3 👇🏻}
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thejilyship · 2 years
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not in need of  knight
Hey! So I’ve finally gotten around to using the jily prompt generator that I’ve spent half my life making lol
And yes, I know that it’s been months since I’ve posted anything, but that’s just the way things go. They ebb and whatnot. Enjoy. 
Prompt: 
“If they start something, I’m going to finish it.” James said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“And if it ends with you in the hospital wing?”
“What do you care?”
“Do you really think I’d bother to argue with you so much if I didn’t care?” Lily said, breathing sharply through her teeth.
wc: ~2k
prompt generator 
_____________ _ _  _   _    _
She hadn’t planned on going to the library, this is just where her feet had taken her when she’d balled up her fists in anger and stormed off. If she had put a little more thought into it, she wouldn’t have chosen to come here. With about an hour to go until lights-out, the library was full of older students. And that meant that she was likely to run into just about anyone as she marched through her classmates.
She almost tripped over someone’s bag as she turned sharply down a nearly empty aisle, desperate to get out of the center of the room as she spotted the back of Mary’s head. She ducked around an older Ravenclaw, and sidestepped a younger Hufflepuff, and then she was in the back of the library, where the books on divination sat, completely undisturbed, as always.
She glanced over her shoulder, making sure that no one was following her, or watching her, and then she quickly shuffled through a narrow aisle, walking sideways until she made it to the end. There was a wall of books to her left, and in front of her. The only place for her to go from here, was through a narrow opening on her right.
She’d found this place last year, and she’d taken to hiding here whenever things got to be too much, which seemed to be happening a lot more often lately.
Someone had slid a bookshelf against an alcove, leaving only arm’s length of space between the stone pillar and the bookshelf, effectively making a small, secret room in the very back of the library. Once she made it through the aisle, she turned and stepped into the alcove.
There was a window overlooking the Black Lake, a small stone bench that sat under it, and a blanket that Lily had left there from the last time that she’d been here. It was a worn, knit, blanket that she’d nicked from the common room. Its tassels were a faded gold, and frayed from how often Lily had anxiously worried them.
She didn’t sit down on the bench though, she started pacing the length of the alcove, which was barely four steps before she had to turn around and pace back the other way.
She swatted her hair out of her face before she angrily plaited it with the elastic she kept around her wrist.
“Stupid, Rosier.” She muttered, turning to kick the stone bench. A shock of pain shot through her foot. “Stupid, Mulciber,” She kicked it again. “Stupid, stupid, Potter!” Another kick.
That last kick was more painful than cathartic though, so she clenched her fists at her side, and sat down on the bench, glaring at her foot as though it had offended her by being in pain.
Lily was no stranger when it came to big feelings. She had always been a person who felt things fully. 
But anger had never been very familiar to her. 
When it came, it had always arrived in short, chaotic bursts. Gone as quickly as it had arrived. She’d always had a temper, but for the most part, it had a long fuse, and she didn’t misdirect her anger on stone benches or her poor feet.
She was angry now though. More than that, she was angry all the time. She felt as though she’d been angry for most of the year.
“Evans?”
Lily froze, looking up from her foot to stare at the small gap at the corner of the alcove.
“Evans? I know you’re back here somewhere,” It was James, of course it was, and he sounded close. She couldn’t tell which bookshelf he was behind. Someone must have seen her run back here if he knew that she was in the library at all.
Or maybe he just knew where she was because he always seemed to know where she was.
“Come on, Evans,” His voice sounded much closer, and Lily felt her eyes sting because she knew she was about to be caught. She spun around toward the window so she wouldn’t have to look at him when he found her hiding.
“Evans? How in the world did you find this place?”
“I don’t want to talk to you, Potter.”
“I know.”
She refused to turn around.
“I know you don’t want to talk, but I just needed to make sure that you’re alright, didn’t I? I can’t believe that they’d start something like that in the middle of the corridor- a busy corridor-“
“Stop. Please.” Lily closed her eyes and angrily swiped at her wet cheeks. “I said that I didn’t want to talk.”
They were both quiet for a minute and then James was sitting down on the bench next to her.
“You can’t start shit with them,” Lily’s voice was strained.
“I didn’t start anything,” And Lily wanted to roll her eyes. “You know that I didn’t.” His voice was more determined now. Already, he was losing his patients with her. This is why she didn’t want to talk to him, because what were they going to do, but argue about it?
“You weren’t involved, Potter! I had everything well at hand, and I didn’t need you to step in and play knight in shinning armor.”
“I wasn’t playing- Are you taking the mick right now? They were getting in your face, talking the way they were- if you heard them doing that to someone, would you have just walked on by?”
It was different, and he knew that. He was an instigator. His very presence had caused the situation to escalate. Lily was a diffuser, she knew the right things to say to calm people like Mulciber and Rosier down when they got like that. James wanted to fight.
He must have taken her silence as her conceding his point though, because he turned on the bench to face her more fully. “If they start something, I’m going to finish it.” James said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“And if it ends with you in the hospital wing?”
“What do you care?”
“Do you really think I’d bother to argue with you so much if I didn’t care?” Lily said, breathing sharply through her teeth. “You poke and you poke until you find a reason to hex a Slytherin-“
“I heard what Mulciber called you!” James was close to shouting now. “I didn’t do any poking, the bastard-“
“I was handling it!” Lily did shout. She clamped her hand over her mouth and hoped that the musty books surrounding her caught most of the sound. If the librarian found Lily’s hiding spot, she would never forgive James.
They both stood frozen, waiting to see if they were going to be found.
When a couple minutes passed without the shrill sounds of Madam Pince’s stern voice finding them, Lily sighed and slumped against the stone wall behind her.
“I was handling it, James.”
James’ hand went to his hair, and he shook his head. “Why do you think you’ve got to do it all on your own? I know that you could have put both of them flat on their arses, but that doesn’t mean I was gonna ignore what I heard them saying, and it’s not fair that you seem to expect me to.”
It’s different. She thought again. She didn’t know how to explain it to him though, she couldn’t pick the words out of her brain and put them in an order that would make sense to him. He walked around like he was invincible, like nothing could get to him, but she knew that wasn’t true. She’d seen that spell that Severus had used on him last year by the lake before everything had fallen apart, and she knew that he’d perfected it because she’d heard him bragging about it to Avery` in potions.
James was capable, and he was strong, but he was also so good. And throwing a bat bogey hex or a knock back jinx wasn’t going to do much in the face of the dark magic that those boys were studying up. And they might not be at the point where they were openly bragging about wanting to join up with Voldemort and using dark magic in the corridors, but they had used it before. She’d sat at Mary’s bedside after they’d used it on her and listened to Severus tell her that it was just a laugh.
If James didn’t stop, he was going to get seriously hurt. And she wouldn’t let it be her fault.
“I don’t expect you to ignore it, I expect you to not antagonize them. I expect you to back me up, not make the situation worse. When you step in like that- when you pick fights with them, you’re only giving them a reason to retaliate. And what if-“ She wipes at her cheeks again and decides that she has to make this about her getting hurt, and not about him. He’s never cared if his actions cause him to get hurt, but she knows that he would never do anything to hurt one of his friends. “What if the next time they find me, I’m not in a crowded corridor?”
James deflated like she’d taken a needle to a balloon. “Bloody hell, Lily, I’m-“
“No. Don’t.” She interrupted. “I know that you meant well, but I could have done what you did, yeah? Barreling into situations with your wand drawn isn’t the only way to deal with them though. I heard what he called me, I could hear the things they were saying, but attacking them isn’t going to do me any good. Because next time they’ll bring Avery and Wilkes and who knows who else.”
They sit in the quiet again, and Lily took a few deep breaths, watching as raindrops started to tap against the glass.
“They should be expelled. All of them.” James muttered, spinning around so he now faced the window too. “Especially after what happened with Mary last year. And all the shit they keep saying this year.”
“Dumbledore is afraid to radicalize people. If he expels them, then they’re lost. They’ve got no chance to change their hearts.” James scoffed, and Lily agrees, but she can see why Dumbledore keeps them here too. “If Mary had told Dumbledore who attacked her, they would have been expelled.”
“But she couldn’t tell because then Mulciber’s friends would go after her.”
Lily nodded.
James ran his fingers over the blanket that sits between them. “Did you steal this from the common room?”
Lily shrugged. “Maybe.”
“How long has this been your hiding spot?”
“How long have you known about it?” She asked instead of answering. She doesn’t want to bring up what happened by the lake last year.
James smiled at her, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m a marauder, Lily, I know all the castles secrets.”
“That’s a little arrogant of you.”
“Yes, well, I have been told that I have a fat head.” He pushed his glasses up his nose. “You want custard?”
“What?” She narrows her brow and tilts her head at him.
“Custard?” He stands and holds his hand out to help her up. “I swear not to start any fights on the way to the kitchen.”
She took his hand and smiled at him as she let him pull her to her feet. “You mean it?”
“Solemnly.” He promised.
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crazyblondelife · 1 year
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Holiday Style...Winter Layering
Lately, I’ve been feeling pulled to be more creative in my life…with my home and wardrobe as well as the food that I make. This also spills over into relationships…how can I imagine them to be better, different, or sometimes…over? What can I give of myself that I have been holding back and what relationships matter most?
The question becomes - How am I expressing myself in this world? Does this expression come from an authentic place, or from a place of fear and not enoughness. This has strongly influenced me over the past several weeks and I plan to elaborate on this question because it seems very important!
The woods beside our home have always fascinated me (stay with me here). They are a little pocket of the wild inside the confinement of an old suburban neighborhood. They have never been built on and at night, it sounds as if we live deep inside the forest, when in reality, we live 2 minutes from our downtown.
Just recently, as the weather has gotten colder and I’ve taken fewer walks with Amos, I’ve begun to take him out and let him run free…supervised of course. He normally stays pretty close by…sniffing and doing all the doggy things and while he’s sniffing, I look around. I look up at the sky and down at the leaves on the ground. There are so many birds as well as other creatures that I can’t see but I know they’re there and I wonder if they’re watching me!
I had the idea to take these pictures in my woods the other day and the phrase that I kept thinking about was “reality winks” (from the poem in last weeks post). Miracles occur when reality winks and the woods seem to be a perfect place for reality to wink…full of wonder and possibility. I wanted to wear something that felt just a little unexpected and contrasting for these pictures and I think I nailed it.
I’m wearing a suit and sweater from Cabi that I purchased last season and loved but haven’t worn often. I added my Prada Chelsea boots and a long black coat from Zara. I’m really in love with this outfit as it feels festive but also unexpected. As is often the case, it came to me suddenly as I was holding the coat thinking “what would be just a little out of the box to wear with this?”
I’m consciously trying to curate my life. To envision what I want my days, weeks and years to look like and slowing down to take the time to imagine and then act.
I have a “uniform” that I could pick out with my eyes closed but I don’t want to do that anymore. I have certain foods that I reach for almost daily and I also don’t want to do that anymore. Why, when there are so many other options everywhere would I keep going back to the familiar?
I’ve also been choosing some new items for our home that really reflect more the way I want it to feel as our family all come together in this big, old, quirky house. I’m rethinking how I want to spend my days…how important is social media and could I fit in another workout because it’s the best thing for me. Do I want to watch Netflix, or would I rather sit outside by the fire? Should we have takeout, or could I put something in the slow cooker in the morning?
Living intentionally and purposefully choosing to bring beauty into the every day is important and so many people have few options about this, and even if they did, they wouldn’t understand how because they weren’t brought up with any kind of beauty. The truth is, there is beauty everywhere, but you have to look for it, and/or create it. It could simply be putting your coffee into a mug instead of a paper cup, or really noticing and being grateful for a beautiful tree.
Elevating the everyday, so that our lives are also elevated takes a little more effort but is so worth it. Our days and our memories are made in the small moments, so why not make those moments as special as possible. I hope you’ll consider this as we enter into the holiday season. It’s so difficult to slow down when there is so much to accomplish, but at least, in your mind, decide what is most important and as you go about your day, make your decisions based on what is important to you and create a holiday full of beautiful memories! You may just look back and see that in fact…reality winked!
I’ll be updating the holiday gift guides tonight so be sure to check back for new items that you’ll love for yourself and others! I hope you’re having the best weekend!
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dadbodosamu · 3 years
Text
only you || part i
Stepdad Osamu x Fem!Reader
WARNINGS: pseudocest, stepcest, cheating, wombfucking, semi-public sex (in an alley), extremely light dumbification, breeding kink, spit kink, Osamu has a dick piercing
4.5k words. thanks to @waka-chan-out and @vanilleswtmacaron for beta reading this and reassuring me that it doesn’t suck lol
ao3 link here (aha its not too long mobile just sucks!!) part i || part ii || part iii || part iv || part v || part vi || extras || only you, too
You sighed as you tapped your fingers on the table. Your mom had decided it was high time for you to meet your new stepdad, who you had put off meeting for the past three years. You smiled as you remembered the perfectly timed appendicitis that had you missing the wedding. You couldn’t have planned it better if you tried. 
Your dad had only passed away a little under four years ago, leaving your mom to remarry only six months later. You’d opted to live with your grandmother, citing her health as a reason to live with her on her farm. Your plan had worked perfectly, and you hadn’t had to meet Osamu for three years.
Now though, with your grandmother in the hospital, your mom thought it was a great time for you to come and visit and finally meet the great Osamu.
“Osamu should be home any minute,” your mom said, smiling happily over the takoyaki she was making. “He’s bringing your favourite!”
“Yay,” you said, unenthusiastically. You glanced at the time on your phone. You were almost wishing Osamu to be here so you wouldn’t have to spend another awkward second with your mom.
You and your mom hadn’t been close to begin with, you always being a daddy’s girl from the day you were born. And after remarrying so quickly, you’d drifted even further apart. At this point, you had nothing to speak to her about.
“I’m home!” Someone called. The door slid shut behind them and you glanced around, waiting for them to appear in the kitchen. “And I brought umeboshi onigiri!”
The man who stepped into the kitchen nearly knocked you out of your seat.
He was handsome. Devastatingly, heartachingly, handsome. He was tall, with brown hair and deep grey eyes, and thick. His t-shirt was pulled taut over his broad shoulders and his thighs in his shorts were almost indecent. 
The next thing you noticed was that he was young. Probably only a handful of years older than your twenty-one, definitely closer to your age than your mom’s.
God, why had you put this meeting off? Had you known your mom was married to an actual god, you would’ve actually visited.
“Hey, honey,” your mom greeted, smiling at him. Your stomach twisted as she leaned over, puckering her lips for a kiss. Osamu pecked her lips quickly and turned towards you.
“Hey, I’m Osamu,” he greeted, smiling widely at you. Your heart skipped. “I heard ya like umeboshi onigiri so I made you some.”
“Th-thank you,” you stuttered. “I’m Y/n. It’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to finally meet ya,” Osamu said. “Was starting to think ya were avoiding me!”
“More like she was avoiding me,” your mom said. “She was always a daddy’s girl.”
“Oh?” Osamu asked, looking at you. Your cheeks burned. “Well, I’d never try to replace yer dad, but if ya ever need some daddy/daughter time, I’m here for ya.”
You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from saying something stupid. 
“I really appreciate that,” you said. 
“Oh, I’m so glad you two are getting along already!” Your mom squealed. She carried the takoyaki to the table and smiled as she sat down. “Dinner is finally ready.”
“Itadakimasu,” you mumbled, already loading your plate up with onigiri and the other food on the table. 
“So, how is university going?” Your mom asked. 
You shrugged as you slurped up some noodles. “It’s going. Made nationals.”
“Oh? What sport do ya play? I don’t think yer mom ever mentioned,” Osamu said. You rolled your eyes. Of course she hadn’t mentioned volleyball, it wasn’t like you’d been playing since elementary school or anything.
“Volleyball,” you said. “I was on the Niiyama girls team in high school. Hoping to go pro after uni.”
“Volleyball? I played in high school! My brother, Atsumu, and I were on the Inarizaki team,” Osamu exclaimed. 
“Not Miya Atsumu, right?” You asked, excitedly. “MSBY Black Jackals Miya Atsumu?”
“The very one!” Osamu said.
“No way! They’re my favourite team! I have a signed poster in my room, it’s my prized possession!” I exclaimed. “I heard a few members are going to the Olympics this year.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me she plays volleyball,” Osamu said, glancing at your mom.
“Must’ve slipped my mind,” your mom said.
“We should go to a game sometimes,” Osamu said. “I can get an extra ticket to the MSBY, Adlers game later this week.”
“That sounds great!” You said, smiling widely.
Your mom ate in relative silence as you and Osamu traded stories about your volleyball times, only ever inputting something every once in a while. After dinner, Osamu found a Sendai Frogs match. 
“I’m currently in the nation’s top 3 setters,” you said, proudly. “I’m number two behind Takao Michi.”
“I’ll have to start coming to yer games,” Osamu said. “See ya in action.”
“I’d like that,” you said, honestly. 
“Why don’t ya come to work with me tomorrow? I can introduce ya to a few of my friends that are in town,” Osamu said.
“Absolutely,” you said.
“Don’t get me wrong though, I’m putting ya to work while yer there,” Osamu said. Your mom yawned.
“You all have me worn out from all this volleyball talk,” she said. “I’m going to bed.”
“Night, mom,” you said as she stood up.
“Osamu?” She questioned, turning back to glance at him.
“Oh, we’re going to stay up a bit longer,” he said. “The Schweinden Adlers have a match after the Frogs.”
“Oh, okay,” she said. You could hear the disappointment in her voice.
Osamu waited until you heard the bedroom door click shut before speaking.
“I know this is probably too much information about yer mom but she must think I’m some sex robot,” Osamu said, huffing. “A guy can only do so much.”
You crinkled your nose. “Gross, I did not need to know that.” You tried to hold steady but laughter bubbled up through your lips. Osamu laughed loudly and you joined him, holding your gut with how hard you were laughing.
“We need- we need to be- to be quiet!” Osamu laughed. “She’s trying to- tryin’ to sleep.”
You giggled a few more times before quieting down.
“So, how old are ya?” Osamu asked, standing up. “Old enough for a beer?”
“I’m twenty-one,” you said. “Old enough for a beer.”
“We got wine coolers if ya would rather have that,” Osamu said, stepping into the kitchen.
“Please,” you said. “So, how old are you? Can’t help but notice you’re quite a bit younger than my mom.”
“Twenty-five, twenty-six in October,” he said, grabbing a beer and a wine cooler out of the fridge.
“Follow up question,” you said, “and I don’t mean any offence, I’m sure she’s great in some ways, but why my mom? I mean, surely there’s no shortage of people your age that are wanting you.”
Osamu took a long drink from his beer before answering. “Ask me after I’ve drunk a few of these.”
You pursed your lips and took a sip of your fruity drink. “Fine,” you said. “Then let’s play a game. Every time the Adlers score, I’ll ask you a question and every time the Tachibana Red Falcons score, you get to ask me a question.”
“Deal,” Osamu said.
“Oh! Score!” You exclaimed, throwing your hands up. “Another untouchable spike by Ushiwaka!”
“Shush, yer mom,” Osamu giggled. You rolled your eyes and chugged the rest of your fifth drink.
“You shush, it’s my turn,” you said, plopping down on the couch next to Osamu. “So, now tell me,” You hiccupped. “My bad. Now tell me, why my mom? Why not someone your age? Because I’m gonna- I’m gonna be honest, you’re hot and my mom is, like, she’s not, like, ugly, but, like, she’s, like, fifty.”
“I could just like cougars,” Osamu teased. You rolled your eyes and popped the top on your next drink.
“Tell the, the truth, ‘Samu,” you slurred. 
“Fine, but this stays between us, as best friends,” he said.
“Bee ef efs,” you slurred.
“Yer mom helped fund my restaurant,” he said. “So, I felt bad. She’s so nice and sweet. So, I married her.”
“Now you have a step kid that’s only four years younger than you,” you said. 
“Yeah, she didn’t really mention ya before we got married,” he said. Osamu leaned in close to you. “She didn’t mention how attractive ya were either.”
Your cheeks flushed. You turned your head away from him, looking back to the television.
“Oh, Falcons scored,” you said. “It’s your turn to ask a question.”
Osamu took a sip of his beer before speaking. “Why have ya been avoidin’ yer mom?”
You took a large gulp from your drink. “I haven’t been avoiding her,” you lied. Osamu blinked at you slowly. 
“Fine, fine!” You exclaimed. You sipped from your drink, then responded, “Mainly because she remarried so quickly after Dad died. And to someone only four years older than me. But we’ve never been close. She and I never really saw eye-to-eye. She was the love of my dad’s life and he was just another guy to her. Not to mention, she’s never been remotely interested in anything in my life, she’s always been so self-absorbed. I doubt she even knew I still played volleyball, that’s probably why she didn’t mention it to you.”
Osamu stayed silent as you chugged the remainder of your drink.
“I know it’s probably not comforting, but I’ll be there for ya if ya need me,” Osamu said. “Even if yer mom and I separate, I consider ya a friend now.”
Osamu’s words were oddly comforting. You nodded as you reached for yet another wine cooler. 
“I’m oddly comforted,” you said, popping the top easily. You fiddled with the top, thinking of what to say next.
“Another Falcons score,” Osamu said. “My turn again.”
“Question away,” you said. 
“Can’t think of any,” Osamu said. He yawned.
“Tired already?” You teased, elbowing him in the side. “Old man.”
“I’m twenty-five,” he argued, yawning again. “But I am going to bed. Let’s call a rain check on our game.”
“Deal,” you said, raising your bottle to him. “Might as well go to bed, too. Night, Samu.”
“Night, Y/n,” Osamu said, standing up. He stretched out before padding down the hallway to your mom’s room. 
You sighed loudly once you heard the door click shut. You gulped down your drink. “Good going, Y/n. You finally found a guy you like and he’s your stepdad.”
You finished your drink before gathering all the empty bottles and cans, throwing them in the recycling before walking towards your room. You collapsed onto your unmade bed and passed out before your head hit the pillow. 
“Two salted salmon onigiri,” you said, placing the plate in front of the professional volleyball player. “And onion soup.”
“Go ahead and join them,” Osamu said, placing a few plates on the same table. “I’ll bring you out some umeboshi onigiri.”
“Thanks,” you said. You could barely contain your excitement as you took a seat between Miya Atsumu and Bokuto Koutarou.
“So, yer a setter?” Atsumu asked, taking a bite of his onigiri. You nodded.
“Number two in the nation,” you said.
“She’s better than you were, Tsumu!” Hinata Shoyo exclaimed. You smiled widely.
“In high school, I was ranked number one under nineteen in my second and third years,” you said. “I even got to play in the junior Olympics in high school. We only won silver, though.”
“We’re playing the Olympics this year,” Bokuto said. “And a few of our friends from the Adlers.”
“Kageyama Tobio, Ushijima Wakatoshi, and Hoshimiumi Kourai?” You asked. “I’ve been keeping up with everyone considered for the Olympics.”
“Maybe you’ll be playing in the next Olympics,” Sakusa said. 
“That’s the goal,” you said, smiling. Osamu set a plate in front of you. “Thank you.”
“So our little star setter is here for the next week,” Osamu said, placing a strong hand on your shoulder. “We should play a game while she’s down, see how good she really is.”
“I’m game!” Bokuto exclaimed. “I wanna see those number two in the nation skills!”
“Probably nowhere near the level of you guys,” you said.
“We do have a few years on ya,” Atsumu said, ruffling your hair. 
“Literally only four,” you said, fixing your hair.
“Leave the kid alone, Tsumu,” Osamu said.
“Hey, she’s my niece now, I reserve the right to tease her,” Atsumu said.
“Uncle Tsumu,” you teased.
“That’s right, Uncle Tsumu and Daddy Samu,” Atsumu said. 
Your stomach flipped as the MSBY boys laughed. Osamu looked down at you and winked. You clenched your thighs together.
“All right, quiet down before ya disturb my payin’ guests,” Osamu said. 
“Lunch on Samu-kun!” Hinata exclaimed. Osamu rolled his eyes.
“Once yer finished, I want ya back in the kitchen,” Osamu said. He rubbed your back before walking into the kitchen.
“So, you plan on going professional after university?” Bokuto asked.
You nodded as the table fell into casual conversation.
“I already have offers to go play in France and Brazil,” you said, taking a bite of your onigiri.
“Brazil is fantastic,” Hinata said. “I played there for a while.”
“You liked it? I’ve been debating back and forth between the two. Can’t decide which one I would enjoy more,” you said. “Does Brazil have good food?”
“The best! Unless you’re looking for Japanese food,” Hinata said. “There’s no good Japanese food.”
“Noted,” you said, smiling.
“What are you studying in school?” Sakusa asked.
“Education,” you said. “If volleyball doesn’t work out I want to teach Japanese in another country.”
“Smart,” Sakusa said.
“So, any boyfriends? Girlfriends? Significant others?” Atsumu asked.
You laughed. “With what time?”
“Oh, come on, there has to be someone!” Atsumu exclaimed. “We all find time for a lil’ somethin’.”
“There was a girl,” you admitted. “On my volleyball team, but we both cared more about volleyball than each other.”
“Any crushes?” Bokuto asked. He winked at you and flexed his arms playfully.
You pursed your lips. “And why should I tell you if I do?”
“Because we’re all best friends now!” Hinata shouted, slamming his hand on the table. He ignored the looks from the other customers.
“There is this guy I have my eye on,” you said. “He’s tall, nice, and beefy as hell.”
“Ooo, tell us more,” Bokuto said.
You shook your head. “No use talking about him. He’s strictly off limits.”
“He’s gay,” Atsumu said, nodding his head.
“What?! No!” You laughed. “He’s taken.”
“Ah, university relationships aren’t always serious, you can probably still get him,” Hinata said, waving away your worries.
“He’s married,” you said. The boys all hissed in sympathy.
“Ask for a threesome,” Atsumu said. Your face must’ve shown your disgust because the boys all laughed at you.
“She must be ugly,” Bokuto said.
“We don’t get along the best,” you said. You sighed as you looked down at your empty plate.
“Better get to work before Daddy Samu grounds you,” Atsumu teased.
You rolled your eyes, but stood up. 
“It was nice meeting you guys,” you said. “I hope we can get a game together before I leave.”
“Oh, we definitely will,” Bokuto said.
“I’ll hold you to it,” you said, smiling. You waved bye to them as you entered the kitchen.
Osamu was leaned over the stove top, stirring a large pot of soup.
“Have fun?” He asked, wiping sweat off his brow with the towel thrown over his shoulder. You nodded.
“They were all super nice,” you said. “I feel like we’re actually friends now.”
“That’s good,” Osamu said, smiling at you. “Ya wanna start putting together a couple of onigiri?”
“No problem,” you said, washing your hands quickly. 
“We need five salted salmon and three umeboshi,” Osamu said. “And then out to table three.”
“Got it,” you said.
The rest of the day went by relatively quickly and smoothly. It was finally around midnight when the last customers finally left and you and Osamu could close down shop.
“Come into my office and I’ll show you how to count all the money,” Osamu said, locking the main doors. 
You followed him into his small office. 
“Okay, whenever you count the money, make sure the door is closed and locked behind you,” Osamu said, closing the door behind him. 
You held your breath as he slowly slid past you, your chest brushing against his.
“A lil’ cramped in here, sorry,” Osamu said, sitting at his desk.
“It’s fine,” you mumbled, sitting in the folding chair next to him.
“So, d’ya have a good day?” Osamu asked, casually thumbing through bills.
You nodded. “It was good! It was nice meeting your friends. I really liked them.”
“Ooo, any of ‘em catch yer eye?” Osamu teased. You rolled your eyes.
“I already have my eye on someone,” you said.
“Oh?” Osamu questioned.
“He’s taken though,” you said. “Strictly off limits.”
“Ask for a threesome,” he said.
You laughed loudly. “Funny, Atsumu said the same thing. But no, I don’t get along with his wife.”
“Wife? That sucks,” he said, placing a wad of cash in an envelope. 
“Yeah,” you agreed.
“Well, I, for one, think yer a catch,” Osamu said, sealing the envelope. “Anyone would be lucky to have ya.”
“Thanks, Samu,” you said, face burning. He patted your thigh.
“Anytime, princess,” Osamu said. You clenched your thighs together at the new nickname. “Well, we’re all done here, let’s get home.”
You trailed after him like a lost puppy as he double checked all the appliances were off and flipping the lights off.
You shivered as you stepped into the cool, night air. 
“Cold?” Osamu asked, already peeling off his Onigiri Miya hoodie.
“Yeah, a little,” you said, gladly taking the hoodie from him. You tugged it over your head and breathed deeply. “Smells good. Half expected it to smell like onigiri.”
“It will soon,” Osamu said, smiling. “It’s new. Just got the shipment in last week.”
“I’ll have to get one,” you said.
“Keep it,” Osamu said. “Ya look cute in it.”
You blushed deeply. You bumped his shoulder with yours gently.
“It’s like, way too big,” you said.
Osamu shrugged. “Oversized is in. Besides, I thought girls loved to steal guys’ hoodies.”
“Yeah, guys they like,” you said.
“Well, ya took it from me,” Osamu said, bumping your shoulder. “Ya must like me a little.”
“Whatever,” you said, cheeks burning. Osamu laughed.
“Someone has a crush!” He sang.
“Shut up! I don’t have a crush on you,” you said.
“Ya did call me hot last night,” he said.
“I was drunk, so it doesn’t count,” you said. He rolled his eyes obnoxiously.
“Ya have a crush on me, just admit it,” Osamu said. “I won’t tell anyone, pinky promise.”
“You’re my stepdad, in case you forgot,” you replied. “That’s basically incest, isn’t it?”
“So ya admit it?” Osamu asked. You shoved him playfully.
“I actually have a crush on Atsumu,” you said. “He’s the hotter twin.”
Osamu pushed you into an alley and caged you against the cool bricks of a building.
“Oh?” Osamu said. “Ya think Atsumu is the hotter twin?”
You nodded slowly as Osamu looked down at you.
“It’s the hair,” you squeaked.
“Oh, yeah, forgot that girls love a guy who doesn’t know what toner is,” Osamu said, leaning down. “I think yer lying.” His nose was nearly touching yours.
“I’m not,” you mumbled. Osamu’s hands moved from either side of your head to your hips. 
“You are,” Osamu whispered, lips brushing against your ear. You shivered.
“And if I am?” You asked.
“I don’t like bad girls,” Osamu said. “Lying is grounds for punishment.”
“Punishment?” You asked.
“I’d bend ya over my knee and spank ya until ya begged for mercy,” he said. You sucked in a sharp breath.
“It’s a good thing I’m not lying, then,” you said. By now, Osamu’s lips were nearly against yours, so close you could feel the heat from his breath on your lips.
Osamu ground his hips against yours, firmly pressing his hard on against you.
You bit your lip and glanced down. His cock was straining against his jeans, eager to be released.
“Tell the truth and I’ll think about not putting ya over my knee,” Osamu said, lips softly brushing against yours. 
“You’re the hotter twin,” you said, putting your arms around his neck. “And I have a crush on you. And I want you to fuck me in this alley.”
“There we go,” Osamu said. He finally kissed you roughly, like he wanted to devour you. You moaned as he ground against you.
“Samu,” you moaned, pulling back. He wasted no time, kissing down your neck, sucking and biting at your sensitive skin.
“Been thinkin’ about pushin’ this lil’ skirt up all day,” he growled, pushing your skirt up around your waist, revealing the pretty pink lace of your underwear. 
“Please,” you gasped as he shoved his jeans and underwear down, releasing his cock. You nearly moaned at the sight of it, long and thick and leaking precum from the swollen tip.
“Gonna wreck this cute little cunt,” Osamu said, tugging your underwear down and letting them fall to the ground. He dragged the tip of his cock through your wet folds, teasing your clit and hole.
“Is- Is that a piercing I feel?” You asked, feeling cool metal against your warm folds.
“I’ll give ya a closer look later,” he said, teasingly pushing the tip in and out of your hole. “Wanna be in ya now.”
“Fill me up, please, Samu,” you begged, digging your fingernails into his skin. Your walls fluttered around nothing as he lifted you up. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist.
“Good girl,” he muttered, lining his cock up with your hole. “Beg for my cock, princess.”
“Please, please, please!” You cried. “Want your cock in me, need it! Please, Samu, want you to fill me up.”
“Of course, baby girl, anything for my princess,” Osamu said, kissing you softly. He rutted his hips up into you, stretching you out suddenly.
You moaned loudly and let your head fall on Osamu's broad shoulder. 
“So big,” you moaned. “Hurts.”
“Shh, shh, yer takin’ me so well, baby,” Osamu said. “Squeezin’ me so tight, wanna bust just bein’ in ya.”
You whimpered as Osamu slowly pulled out. He pushed back in slowly, giving you time to adjust to each inch. Your walls clenched around him, sucking him in deeper and deeper until the swollen tip was kissing your cervix.
“Fuck,” he hissed. “Gonna ruin ya.” Osamu pulled out until just the tip was in and slammed back into you.
You gasped loudly as his cock breached your cervix, going deeper than anything had ever been in you and stretching you more than anything ever had.
“Samu!” You cried, throwing your head back and digging your nails into the nape of his neck. “Fuck, harder, please!”
“Feel that, baby? I’m so deep in ya,” Osamu said. “Fuckin’ past your cervix, yeah?”
You nodded as you bit back your moans as Osamu pounded into you. You buried your head into his shoulder and bit down, quieting your too loud moans.
“Next time, ‘m gonna have ya somewhere ya can be loud as ya want,” Osamu grunted. “Wanna hear yer pretty, little moans.”
You let out a soft moan in his ear and he snapped his hips up harder into you.
“Ah, Samu,” you moaned, struggling to keep your volume down. “Gonna cum.”
He pinched your clit as you gushed around his cock. You looked down to where your bodies met and watched as your juices leaked down his cock, dripping on his heavy balls. You moaned.
“Gonna fill ya up, baby,” he growled lowly. “Come ‘ere.”
He pulled your head up by your hair and squeezed your cheeks until your mouth fell open, tongue lolling out. He gathered spit in his mouth and spat it on your waiting tongue.
“Don’t swallow,” he said. He kissed you deeply, licking into your mouth and sucking your tongue. He kissed you messily, spit running down your chin and a thin strand of it connecting you two when he finally pulled back. 
“Such a messy, little slut,” he said, slamming his hips against yours. “Taking my spit so well. Gonna take my cum like that?”
You nodded, unable to speak beyond gasps and moans as his cock abused your cunt.
“Can’t speak? Fucked ya dumb, huh?” Osamu asked. He chuckled. “My cock makin’ ya dumb, little baby?”
You whined. God, you wanted him to fill you up so bad. 
“Cum. Inside.” You gasped out.
“Oh? Want me t’ breed ya? Make ya big and swollen with my baby?” Osamu asked, hips moving faster.
You nodded furiously. He rubbed your clit in tight, fast circles.
“Cream ‘round my cock one more time, baby,” he grunted. 
“Samu!” You exclaimed. Your stomach tightened as your walls fluttered like crazy.
“Yeah? Gonna cum again for me?” Osamu asked. You let out a high pitched moan as the coil in your stomach snapped.
“Fill me up, please!” You moaned as you came. Osamu’s hips stuttered as he pushed into you deeply before painting your womb white. You cried out, letting your head rest against his shoulder as he moaned.
“Fuck, yer still so tight around my cock,” he hissed. Your walls fluttered. “Perfect little cunt, princess. Milkin’ me dry like a good girl.”
You whimpered as he slowly pulled out. Your legs went limp, falling from his waist.
“Can’t stand,” you mumbled, legs shaking with the weak attempt you made. Osamu held you up as he pulled his pants back up and pulled your panties back on.
“Come here, baby,” he said, swooping you up bridal style. “Let’s go home, princess.”
You nodded lamely as he carried you. You must’ve fallen asleep, because the next thing you heard was Osamu talking to your mother.
“She was practically dead on her feet,” Osamu said. “Fell asleep while I was counting the money.”
“You could’ve called, I would’ve brought the car,” your mom said. You felt Osamu shrug.
“It was no problem,” Osamu said. 
“Well, go lay her down in her bed,” your mom said. “Then maybe she’ll be out for the rest of the night.” You frowned at her suggestive tone and cuddled deeper into Osamu’s chest.
“I’ll go lay her down,” Osamu said. He carried you down the hall and entered your bedroom carefully.
As he laid you down, you grabbed his arm and whined, “Don’t go.”
“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered. “I gotta go to my own bed.”
“Don’t- Don’t fuck her,” you mumbled. “Please.”
“Don’t worry, princess,” he said, softly brushing your hair out of your face. “It’s only you from now on.” You nodded. Osamu kissed your forehead before leaving you alone.
You blinked once, twice, before you were asleep.
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Prince Charming- (Loki x Reader) Part 8 FINAL
It all comes down to this! The story of Loki and his Ladybug gets wrapped up here but I’m already planning some fluffy one shots to balance out all the angst of this week! After that, I already have another series in the works with the man himself, Tom Hiddleston! I could always use some more ideas though, so if there is anything you would like to see, please feel free to send me an Ask or a message. 
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7
Summary: With the identity of his princess finally revealed, where will you and Loki go from here? 
Mischief Makers: @ruiningthe1975 @valiantvoidpoetry @nms224 @youlightmeupfinn @salempoe @lokiprompts @oasiswithmyg​ @saltandapepper​ @chwlogy​ @clockblobber @locht3ssmonster​ @mad4marvelloki​
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Later that night, you returned to your room to get ready for bed. As you turned on the light, Loki was sitting on the couch across the room.
“Damn it Loki! Creep much?! You scared me half to death!”
When he didn’t respond, you looked over at him again. The discarded ball gown lay in the floor at his feet, and he held the mask you had worn in his hands. You stood in silence and waited for him to say something.
“It was you… “
He looked up at you with tears in his eyes.
“Was it all just some cruel joke?”
Loki watched as you crossed your arms over your chest and closed your eyes. Your voice cracked as you spoke.
“… I could ask you the same thing, Loki.”
He stood and tightly gripped the mask in his fist.
“I thought you were my best friend! Why didn’t you tell me?!”
Your angry tears surprised him as you approached him and stabbed his chest with your finger.
”EXACTLY! I was your best friend! I stood by your side for years, Loki! Years! One stupid mask and you didn’t know me? I guess in a way you never knew me. I shouldn’t have to tell you anything. You should have seen that it was me the second you saw me at the top of the stairs or at least when I spoke. The entire night I waited for it to click for you. I called you by your name. I hinted. I even called you Mischief. I was the fool who actually fell in love with you while trying to fall out of love with you in the first place. If you think I’m actually capable of doing all of this to be cruel, you never did know me at all…”
Loki stood and tried to process what you had just said.
“Wait… you fell in love while falling out of love? What does that even mean?”
You sat down on your bed and hugged your pillow to your chest and wiped away your tears with the back of your hands.
“I had been in love with you for a really long time, Lohk. Everyone could see it but you. I was just your sidekick. Eventually, I started to realize that you were never going to love me back and it hurt. When Nat talked about the chat room, I created a username to watch what was being said. That’s when I came across Chaos. He had just been someone to talk to when I couldn’t sleep until one day you told me you met someone. I pulled away to give myself some space to get over you and Chaos was there. The longer I talked to him, the more feelings developed until Nat and Wanda talked me into inviting him to the party in the kitchen on movie night. When you didn’t care at all that I was talking to someone, I decided to let you go and be okay with where things were going with Chaos.”
His eyes met yours and they were softer now.
“So, I was your Boy Toy all along? I did care about you seeing someone, Bug. Honestly, I was even jealous of him. You became so distant and I missed you but you seemed happy. I didn’t want to ruin that for you.”
This entire thing was difficult for him to wrap his mind around. Loki tried to see it all play out from your perspective.
“Let me get this straight. You’ve had feelings for me this entire time? I’ve never just been your best friend? How could I have missed this? I was losing you to someone else and I didn’t even realize I had you to begin with, Bug. Why didn’t you say something at the ball when you saw it was me?”
“I already knew. You told me without realizing you did.”
He searched his memories until it came to him.
“The costume… I told you I was Prince Charming that afternoon. I sent the photograph to you?”
“Exactly. You talked about meeting her as Prince Charming. Your helmet was in the background of the picture I took. I knew the second you sent the picture to me. That’s why I was late that night. I almost didn’t go through with it… Part of me wondered if it would be easier to stand you up and you wouldn’t never know it was me. Apparently I worried about me showing up as her for nothing...”
He was finally beginning to understand the pain and hurt you felt.
“Instead, you came, and I didn’t recognize you…”
You nodded and buried your face into the pillow as the two of you sat in silence.
“I can’t imagine how much that must have hurt you. I’ve been so stupid this entire time. I’m so sorry, Bug… No wonder you felt invisible. I truly never saw you even when you were right in front of me the entire time. Is that why you’ve been so upset? Because I didn’t realize it was you?”
Loki watched as you lifted your head to look at him with fresh tears in your eyes. You stared into him as you repeated his words back to him.
“A meaningless interaction…”
Loki’s face flashed with confusion until he placed it. His words slammed into him. Like a complete fool, he had dismissed your evening together directly to you without a care in the world. His comment must have broken your heart all over again. You had been treated so horribly and didn’t deserve any of the pain he had caused you. No wonder you were done with him. He leaned against his knees and held his head in his hands.
“You told me my feelings would be returned ten fold, Loki... I trusted you.”
He remembered the moment he told you those words. It was just before you invited him to the ball. The night he realized how quickly he was falling love with you. You had been scared and he reassured you that he would be there to catch you. 
“Because you had been hurt before by someone that hadn’t felt the same... You were talking about me? I was the one who hurt you. I guaranteed you then hurt you again.”
“I waited years for you to kiss me, Loki. That night was magical for me. Everything I had wanted for long so was finally coming true. I was stupid enough to believe that you had fallen in love with me. That it would be okay this time. I was your princess. Dove. Darling. My Love. My fairy tale moment. All of it meant nothing to you. Some fling you had online. You said it yourself. Even when you didn’t know it was me, it was still meaningless to you. So… I came full circle and let you go all over again. I had to stop loving you once and for all. Except this time, I no longer had a best friend… if I ever did in the first place. I’m not sure if I meant anything to you at all.“
He looked up at you and his tears matched yours now. You watched as Loki crossed the room to sit on your bed in front of you and took both of your hands into his.
“No, Bug. It meant everything to me. After she…you… told me that you accepted me as I was then you disappeared on me, it broke my heart. I was just hurt and wanted to protect myself from everyone, including my best friend. I’m so sorry it took me falling in love with you through words to finally see what I had in front of me all along. I’m nothing without you. I’m so sorry I never saw you, Ladybug.”
Loki reached up and held your face in the palms of his hands.
“I’m so sorry I was so foolish. I should have seen you. I should have never hurt you. You never deserved to be treated that way. You’re my whole world, Bug. I’ve taken you for granted for so long, but I’ll do better. Just please give me the chance to prove it to you. I love you so much. I think I’ve loved you all along and never even realized it myself. There is no excuse for my actions. I don’t know how I didn’t see you that night, but I see you now. I see all of you and all the ways you’ve been showing me love all along. Please give me another chance to prove to you how much you mean to me, even if I don’t deserve it. Can you ever forgive me, Darling?”
You finally saw the recognition in his eyes that you longed for. You stared into the green you’d been lost in so many times before and only saw you. Nobody else. His heart was yours.
“I guess so, Mischief, since you asked so nicely. But you better make it worth it for me. There were plenty of other men in that chat room that would do damn near anything to date an Avenger. Apparently, I’m a catch...”
Loki narrowed his eyes at you before letting out a loud growl. He grabbed the pillow from your arms and threw it behind him before pulling you into his lap. Your yelp of surprise was quickly silenced when his lips captured yours. His hands held you close to him before they gently traveled around your waist and stroked up your back until his fingers laced themselves in your hair. Your legs locked around his waist while you held his face to yours. The fireworks you felt that night were even more intense when he returned the love you had held for him. You let yourself drown in the taste and feel of him. When he broke the kiss to trail gentle ones across your jaw and down your throat, it tickled and made you laugh.
“How could I have possibly not recognized that laugh until today, My Love? It’s always been you. It’s only ever been you…”
You smiled and pulled his lips back to yours. With each short kiss, you could feel his lips curl into a smile against yours. Pulling back slightly, you held your face just far enough away to make him chase your lips as you whispered against them.
“I love you, Loki.”
He stared into your eyes and gently tucked a strand of hair out of your face.
“I love you too, Ladybug. So very much…”
He tried to give you another kiss, but you pulled further back away from him to tease him. With a frustrated sigh, he pulled you tightly against him and flipped you off his lap to pin you under him against the bed. Now that he finally had you, he was never letting you go again.
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husbandohunter · 3 years
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Your Stardew Impact has given me a serious brainrot and I couldn’t sleep on it so here
Imagine the boys getting Isekai to Stardew and meeting their (soon-to-be) s/o a.k.a the farmer who found them in the mines and dragged them out.
It’s basically the same as the original but the reader lives in Stardew universe from the beginning.
The Outlanders who trespassed the Stars [Stardew Valley + Genshin Impact]
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Synopsis: You were a simple farmer who lived a simple life before crossing paths with these outlanders. A tale of greetings and farewells tells a story that loving someone was like looking at the stars in the sky; a sense of warmth amidst darkness, where the dots connect no matter what distance it was. But just like stars, they were meant to be unobtainable.
(Basically what happens if the boys get Isekai'd)
Genre: fluff, angst (faceapalm didn't mean to)
Characters: Childe, Xiao, Zhongli
(A/n): Hi anon, haha I didn't think the Stardew Impact series would be this enjoyable. Allow me to serve your brainrot. But just for future references there is a character limit! Also it long, a pro tip to use ctrl+F and type in the name :>
======================
~Childe's Story~
The day you met Childe was perhaps during the most fortunate yet unfortunate hour of your life.
Winter comes by, your fields were left dry, what else was there to do other than mining? You were aiming to build a new Barnhouse before summer comes, fishing only made average income thus you decided to take your pickaxe and hope to run into some diamonds, gold or even better: prismatic shards. However, expensive items could only be found in the deepest parts of the mountains, where dangerous monsters lurk by.
When peeking over the abandoned minecart you so carefully shielded yourself with, you began contemplating whether you've just dug yourself a grave instead. The whole area became infested, you weren't in the best condition and on top of all that, you were out of food.
You decided to make a run for it, with the treasures and goodies at hand, you couldn't give up. However, things only got worse when purple mist began taking over your vision, signaling a lava bat wave drawing nigh. It was thanks to your greed that you ended in such a predicament but it was also your greed that brought you to him.
"W-Woah!!"
You tripped with your toe pointing downwards into a pile of wooden crates. The bats swarmed in shortly after, daunting around the area above but you couldn't afford to look. Your face was down to the ground and you could only rely on your ears regarding their whereabouts. As if Yoba heard your prayers, the lava bats could not seem to find you, confusing them to think you've escaped. And so, they flew away.
"I'm never doing that again," The sudden impact was excruciating, you were sure that your lip bled due to biting too hard. At least the floor felt somewhat soft, cotton-like and warm enough to be comforting. Yet, for some reason it was also a little…bony?
"…Mn…."
Your body jerks up like a springboard when you felt something shifting. A man, no older than his twenties, no older than you, lays sprawled out under your form. He was beginning to stir and you panicked when a pair of blue cerulean eyes pointed into your seemingly shocked ones within the close parameter.
Too close.
The man gives a cheerfully wry chuckle, you could practically feel his breath almost, "Well this is quite unexpected, didn't think I'd end up in this position," he jests, soon his expression began to tighten into a grimace, "Mind getting off me though? With all due respect miss, you're a little-…heavy."
You scrambled to the side while still kneeling, "What the hell, who are you?!"
"Hm," The man didn't answer, instead he pushed himself upright and turned his attention to examine the surroundings, "Where are we?" He paused when he noticed how the ceiling was made of rocks, "Wait, is this a cave?"
"Ninety two floors deep and surrounded by monsters," you sighed in frustration while rubbing your head with your palm, "Seriously, whoever you are you shouldn't be here, especially if you're not even carrying the necessary supplies."
"Hey, I just got here. I'm just as confused as you," he puts his hands up in a defensive gesture, "But how strange," he mutters to himself, lowering his arms ever so slightly before pinching his chin in deep thought, "I swear it was the right portal…or maybe it was the other one? Hmmm, could it be the effect of the hidden seal?"
I have so many questions. You sweatdropped nervously. Here you were, hours spent to get to the deepest parts of the earth and looking like a cavewoman while his clothes were practically untouched, nor did they seem to be a recognizable fashion. You've seen many odd events within Stardew Valley but not to this extent, "Alright you know what, let's forget about it for now. We need to get out of here before those lava bats come back for us again. Otherwise we're toast," you gestured to the lava pool, "Literally."
He gave another one of his gleeful smiles, you wondered if he was afraid at all, "Sounds like a solid plan to me. Judging by the equipment you're wearing, you seem to have been here for a while. You know your way around?"
Figures that he doesn't know, you thought, "I'll lead."
"Glad we're on the same page. Though, we've only just met and yet you're still willing to help a stranger like me," he mentions in an off-handed manner, perhaps he wasn't used to generosity ever since being recruited as a harbinger, "But not that I'm complaining. You have my thanks, comrade."
"(Y/n)," you tell him, "That's my name. I'm a farmer that resides in this town."
"I see. A town it is then," he inquires, "Call me Childe, as where I'm from, not sure how to answer that anymore."
"What do you-"
But before you were able to question him further, a hoard of lava crabs were spotted crawling it's way towards where Childe sat. He shot you a confused look and turned to the direction, amusement sparks in his eyes,
"Lava crabs? You've got to be kidding me," your arms have already grown tired long ago, at this rate, you figured it may be best to pay a visit to Harvey's doctor office and check up for any muscle strains that have occured during the process. You most likely have considered how heavy your items felt now. Partaking in another battle would only make it worse.
"Ah an opponent, to think this place wouldn't have a set of new monsters to fight. I was growing tired of beating up hilichurls all the time."
His casual reaction caused you to scrunch up your nose in disbelief, "We're being ganged up on and your first response was that???"
Childe paid no mind, instead he propelled himself back to his feet using his trained reflexes and swaggered towards the crowd, "Relax girlie," Stopping just after a few steps, he turns his head ajar over his shoulder with a floppy smirk spreading his lips, "I've got this."
You held in your breath, wondering if you could trust this man. For now all you could do was sit back and hopefully regain some of your strength while observing by the stacks of crates that were abandoned years ago. The lava crabs formed a straight line in front of him, they were smart creatures, cornering their prey in a very well strategized form so that trespassing was out of the question. Childe wasn't intimidated in the slightest, he merely looked down at them with hooded eyes, flexing his fingers for preparation.
"Lava crab…in other words you're of the pyro element," the harbinger holds out his hand in front of him, trying to cultivate the shape of his bow, "A shame. This fight would end much shorter than I anticipated."
However, when he expected his element to manifest, nothing came out. Childe was left dumbfounded.
"Don't just stand there," you screeched, "Do something!!!"
"Wait," he halts you and tries to summon his bow again. Once, twice, as the crabs grew closer still there was nothing, "My powers…they're gone?!"
"Take this," left without a choice, you pushed yourself towards him and shoved Neptune's glaive into his grasp. He examines it with curiosity, but you knew this was also your own well-being you were entrusting him, "It's really easy to use, just-"
When a crab leapt forward, you ran back to create some manageable space for Childe to move in. He delivers a powerful slice using one arm, hitting the crab's weak spot while tossing it toward the side until a dent was formed in the wall. Your mouth parts, fast, he was fast, you didn't even have the time to blink. It was as if he knew the glaive more than you did. Though, the assumption wasn't that far from the truth. Childe was well adept with swordsmanship as he was an expert with many other melee weapons. Which is precisely the reason why he chose the bow as his main, a ranged device, the challenge to keep him on his toes. Just like he was now.
"He wasn't lying when he said he could fight," you watched in mesmerization, each single blow he delivered deemed equivalent to three hits on your part. Childe was both powerful and swift. He was formidable. The way he effortlessly deflected his opponents despite not having an enchantment ring made you forget how much of an idiot he was earlier before. Soon, the lava crabs began to lessen, leaving what remained of their dusted corpse while some retreated back into the depths of the cave.
"Not bad, it was kind of fun!" Childe laughs exasperatedly, glancing at his blue reflection upon the marred blade, "It's been a while since I last used a sword, and still haven't gone rusty either," he hands you the hilt, "Thanks for letting me use it by the way. You seriously got yourself a sick weapon."
"Keep using it for now, I think I'm a little too worn out to handle it," you say regretfully and pointed your nose towards the ceiling, "The mist hasn't disappeared so there's probably gonna be more monsters we'll encounter soon."
Childe looks up as well, "Huh I was wondering what that meant."
"By the way I've never seen anyone fight like that. Exactly what kind of place are you from?" You finally ask, "You somehow ended up in a cave, without anything to defend yourself with and it's not like you know your way out either. Are you...from another world?"
"Huh didn't think you'd draw that conclusion so quick," he comments jokingly, "Guess there's no reason to hide it anymore. Indeed I am from another world, at least, that's what I can tell so far. I've never encountered these types of monsters either."
You couldn't help but be taken aback by his honesty, "That was strangely easier than I thought...."
After escaping the cave, you introduced Childe to the wizard who lived in Cindersap forest, M. Rasmodius. He was extremely intrigued by the concept of an outlander and seemed happy to be of assistance. Since helping others was the culture of Pelican Town, you commissioned Robin to build a small cabin for him to live in temporarily. In return, Childe must accompany you back to the caves and make up for your losses. It was a mutual benefit since he had the opportunity to fight as well.
Childe befriended the townsfolk rather easily. On friday nights where everyone goes to the Saloon to enjoy their time, he would be found in the other room playing pool with the gang (Sam, Abigail and Sebastian)-- you as well when he managed to drag you along with him.
Crashes at your place when you were busy with the farm. You can bet that he would pop up suddenly midday through your window, “Can you use the door like a normal person???” But despite how much you get irritated by this habit, all bygones are bygones the moment he starts a conversation.
He sticks around as you carry your hay batches, sharing his stories. How the organization he worked in was a powerful militaristic force that had authority over many countries. But you didn't see him as a brute since he only joined for the sake of his parents, for the sake of his siblings and their dreams.
You thought of your grandfather who also once told you to pursue your dreams: live a peaceful life away from urban society. However, as long as the harbinger was with you, there wasn't much option for 'peace'.
"Tell me again why you dragged me out here? You know thatI still have a lot of work to finish back in the farm," you trekked your feet through the thick icy sheets with one hand clutching the zipper near your collarbone. It was incredibly windy in Cindersap forest and Childe happened to have convinced you to leave the comfort of your home for 'a surprise favour'. He purposely made a vague statement to draw in your curiosity but if you had refused-- well, that would have led to constant nagging on his part.
"You'll see," is what he said, it was what he told you through this whole ordeal. He lifted his chin to feel the frosty air against his face, "There's this one activity I wanted to try out. Back in Snezhnaya, I used to bring my brother to go skating out on the lakes. It's deadly freezing there so the ice is pretty thick to work on. Haven't done any of that since I joined the Fatui."
You shot him a deadpan glare, "That's why you brought me out here? Why didn't you just go by yourself?"
"Now that's cold (Y/n),” you rolled your eyes at the pun, “Can't you loosen up instead of throwing yourself in a pile of work all day?"
"It's not that I don't want to...I'm just very busy with the farm since it's the last day of the month. At least I want to do as much as I can before Spring comes."
"Haha you're right but you only live once y'know?" Childe noted happily despite your protest, "And like I said before, seize the opportunity when you see it. You never know when it will be your last."
You cocked your head to the side, "What do you mean?"
"Now let's get started shall we?" As you both reach the edge of the frozen lake, Childe takes a step forward ahead of you, "Have you ever gone ice skating before?"
"Yeah but..." You glanced at the glassy surface with skepticism, suddenly struck by hesitance. The thought of drowning made you retreat your steps right away, "I don't know Childe, it doesn't seem that safe."
"That's true if you're not careful enough," he pointed out, "Luckily you have me to help you with that."
"How does that work?"
He placed one foot onto the hardened lake and parts his mouth into a grin, "Watch."
In contrast to your cautious personality, Childe was considered to be more of a wildcard if anything. He loved adventure, just like you except his side often included bloodshed and the thrill that danger carries. You weren't sure if it was worth putting up with his antics or entertaining his idea of skating on thin ice, but you complied regardless. He had a way of delivering his words through that cheery voice you couldn't deny.
Prior to meeting him, life was boring. The corporate world was boring. You moved into your grandfather's farm in order to search for some form of fulfillment that Zuzu city couldn't give and you thought you did now that you had your very own farm, but slowly you began to pile more responsibilities than you could even count.
Everything you did, you did alone.
If it weren't for Childe, you wouldn't have learned the art of surfing on ocean waters. You never would have known the taste of mixing three different ice-cream flavours together despite what strange names they all had. Or what it felt like to mingle with the townspeople rather than mingling for the sake of business. Suddenly, everything became...fun.
Childe wanted to go far and wide. He was always running, so far ahead, somewhere beyond the stars as he could conquer the world to the point you might no longer reach him.
No longer reach him, huh. Curling your fingers into your palm, you renewed your courage and took a step onto the ice.
At the sound of boots tapping behind him, Childe spins around to see you wobble in your stance, nearly tipping over. He slid across to where you were and grasped your arm before you fell.
"Gotcha."
"Thanks," You sighed in relief, "Jeez, this is harder than I thought."
"Guess this is your first time then," he commented with a bit of jest, "Don't stress yourself over it too much, you'll be okay. I got you."
He carefully led you to the center, staying close in case you were to fall sideways again. You awkwardly tried to keep your legs straight, balancing on your own yet the fact that there was still water underneath struck fear into your nerve. It caused you to tremble and eventually skittered backwards.
"Haha ice skating isn't your forte isn't it?"
"I'm just getting started!"
He takes your hand in his before you could even protest, it was one of his many aspects that you found endearing-- the fact his impulse stems from genuine intentions, feelings, not giving them a second thought. The two of you glide using the soles of your shoes, he speeds up ever so slightly and the adrenaline begins to increase until there comes a rush of excitement, freedom. The stress you once had already forgotten once taking flight upon the ice.
"Look Childe! I'm actually doing it!" You couldn't help mentioning with a bit of youthful playfulness in your voice, "It's so smooth and fast! Almost like I'm flying!"
He smiles quietly from a distance, “See? I told you that you'll be fine.”
It was clear to many that the two of you were much closer than what meets the eye.
Childe began to notice the change in your aura. You were happier and much more soulful. Before you were always on the edge, cautious in contrast to his sanguine approach, he couldn't help but be caught off guard whenever you teased him. Or the sudden honesty that causes him to be flustered. By your side, he was no longer a Fatui Harbinger rather more of a puppy, adorable almost.
But when he saw that the reason you changed was because of him, it brought fear into his bones. Why? How did things get to this point? You were lost in a wonderland, ignorant to the blossom that had sprung inside of your chest.
Maybe it was better to be ignorant. Just live in the moment while it can still last.
"You're leaving?"
Standing at the gateway between the mountain cliffside and the starry sky, you call out to the man you've known in a way that carries more than what words could say. Because he left a mark in your years that could never be erased and here he was, trying to erase his existence completely.
Childe lets out a bitter chuckle, he didn't dare to face you, "I didn't expect you to catch up so quickly. You're quick-witted, comrade."
"It's (Y/n)," you corrected, trying to steady your voice so that he couldn't tell the expression you were making, "Why didn't you say anything? What makes you think that I'll just stay silent and let you go on your own way? This isn't a joke Childe! Don't act as if none of it matters to you because it sure as hell did to me."
His lips that held his usual smirk flattens into a straight line, "Even if I did, would it make a difference?"
The world stills. You knew the answer, he knew the answer, you just refused to admit it. One by one, the stars begin to collect themselves until a bridge was formed in front of him, on another day he would be enjoying the scenery alongside you. But today they would be for you alone to witness. The man who you spent your time with had slowly, regretfully, inevitably became a stranger. He was right. It wouldn't make a difference. You were already aware since the day you met him that he belonged to another world and you willingly offered to help him find a way home.
"You know, you could come with me."
Your eyes jolt open. His voice was so free of care. As if he was commenting on something so minor on a casual Sunday afternoon while accompanying you to the beach. But when you came face to face with the harbinger, his expression lackluster, you knew that he meant every word.
"Just you and me, we can travel across the world to our heart's content. I always thought you were an adventurer just like me and you know what, the farm life just doesn't suit you," Childe slowly extends his hand as an offer, for you it was a temptation, "So what do you think? Care to join me?
Your lip quivers. What he said sounded like a sweet dream that you so desperately wanted to take a bite out of. But even so, you thought about the townsfolk, your farm, your grandfather. Their images flashed in as if holding you back, chaining you to the ground, "I can't."
The answer pained you more than it did to him.
"Figures, this is your home after all," he huffs out, " Now do you understand? I can't leave my home either. If I did, heh, I think my siblings would despise me until the very end and I just don't want that. So no hard feelings, okay?"
You didn't reply.
"Don't worry. I won't pressure you if you don't want to," Childe turns back to the bridge, it was almost time, "Do what you have to do (Y/n), hate me if it makes you feel any better. You can even forget about me," he paused, renewing his resolve, "But I know I won't."
"Childe-"
You ran to grab his scarf only to have it ghost through your hands. He was relieved that he couldn't hear your voice, as he returned to Teyvat, Childe wonders what kind of expression did you have before he left? He'll never know.
---
~Xiao's Story~
The day you met Xiao...well, you weren't in the best of the best positions.
This was probably your sixth attempt trying to make it through all levels of the cave and reach the last floor. The quest had been sitting in your drawer for months.
Of course you didn't expect things to be easy, the fortune teller channel you watched every morning had yet to inform you with any good fortune and you would often bump into obstacles that would halt your progress.
But to be fair, sometimes the colourful ore would attract your attention and before you knew it, it was time to go.
So close yet so far. You dragged your feet tiredly against the ground. What time was it? Who knows. Judging by your state, you assumed it had already struck past 12 a.m.
However, today luck seems to have taken pity on you, just...slightly.
You puffed air into your cupped hands for the nth time, huddling deeper into the touch of your coat while trudging into the cave's cold climate. A little longer, any time soon, you kept telling yourself over and over but as if time was frozen, the wait felt like an eternity. Ah how much you wish to be in the comfort of your soft, fluffy bed right now. Though, merely visualizing the image only reminded how achingly freezing it was so you decided it was best to spare yourself from the details.
"I can't do this anymore..." leaning your head against the ice covered cavern, you whimpered, "I should have stayed home."
As you were about to shut your eyelids, something flashed by your peripheral vision. You darted towards the direction it came from, the light was a bright green hue against blue, could it be, "Warmth!"
It seems you jumped to conclusions too quickly. With impatience, you swung around the corner, expecting to find a heat source, only to meet something much more horrifying.
"KYAH!"
They stared straight into your eyes, those demonic eyes tainted by black and fangs that stuck out of the mouth like tusks on an elephant.
However, when the light evaporated you were able to have a better sense of sight, slowly revealing the monster's true form and the body of a human boy. He fell onto his back with a thud and you used this chance to calm yourself from the frightful encounter.
"He's...unconscious?"
You meekly crawled to where he lay and examined closely. Aside from the mask, there were various distinct features that stood out in his attire, his tattoo being one of them, imprinted in what looked like an eagle. You then realized how unsuitable his clothes were in this current situation. At least there were no injuries so far. But was that a good thing? This man practically came out of thin air as if some sorcery had been committed. Witches never left a good impression ever since they cursed your chicken coop. You were hesitant whether to help a stranger who could potentially be one of them or a creation they cultivated. What other explanation could there be?
"I can't leave him here, it's too cold."
Your gaze suddenly falls upon his covered face. The design, although intimidating at first, upon closer look was very alluring in it’s own way. You haven't stumbled upon anything like what the merchants had to offer in Pelican Town and the mask almost looked too foreign. Was he from the east? Curiosity eventually takes over and you gingerly reach for the mask, sliding it off his face.
"Eh...?" You gasp, taken aback by his striking appearance. A part of it made you feel this was no ordinary boy but that didn't mean he should be abandoned in this environment. It would be immoral to let him die in a place like this.
Before you could even make a noise, his eyes bursted awake, grabbing your wrist in a harsh grip. He used his other hand to push against your shoulder until you were instantly pinned on your back with no opening to escape. You choked a sharp sound as you stared with wide eyes. The man was akin to a beast, he had the expression to match it, like the glaring sharp gaze of wolves that roam at the mountain cliffside near Zuzu city and the ferocity of the demonic mask he once wore. You were breath taken but in a more fearful way as he continued to grip onto you tighter with the possible intent to harm.
"Speak!” He demanded, “What have you done to my powers and where have you brought me?"
In Xiao’s case, he was thrown into another world under the circumstances of fighting against one of Liyue’s unknown beasts. He was on high alert, thinking the fight was still ongoing.
You may look human but you could still be a threat. Xiao is the type to act upon instinct in the moment when something feels out of place. Like the spear he wields, he was trained to behave like one: to strike, strike down his foes without hesitation. Don't leave an opening for them to take the advantage. Xiao is a weapon and violence was what he knew best. He couldn't afford to lower his guard even for a minute.
You could say he left a pretty strong first impression to the point you were paralyzed. As he looked at your face, petrified and tense, he wavered and began to reevaluate things. Large doe-like eyes stare into his feline ones. They didn't seem to hold any sort of malice, was it possible for you to be the one who cursed him?
"Eeeeeek! I-I have no idea what you're talking about, let me go let me go!" you cried, "Please don't hurt me!"
Perhaps he shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.
Xiao feels your struggle and eventually gets off to give you some space. Your reaction was understandable, he was used to it anyways. Xiao scoffed to himself, why are mortals so weak? Their strength, if compared to the adepti, was separated by a large gap (Like it always should be). Xiao kept his gaze averted to the side as you rubbed your wrist, focusing his attention elsewhere. He glanced at the vastness of the cave in front of him.
Why was he sent here? For what reason did it serve? Ever since he sealed the contract with Rex Lapis, the guardian Yaksha had never entertained the thought of leaving his country nor did he act upon it; he was far too loyal to his god to do so. But here he was, against his own will yet free from his karmic binds, stripped of his divine powers in the return of endless questions about this new found mortal-like form.
What should I do now?
Choosing not to dwell in any longer, Xiao rises to his feet and proceeds to walk the other way.
"Ah u-uhm sir, where are you going?"
If the universe wanted to test him then he'll find his own answers.
"Wait! Please wait up!"
"Tch."
Although he intended to keep going, Xiao heard you running to his direction and slowed to a halt, some mortals surely do not know their boundaries, "Hmph there's nothing timid about you. Leave me be," he demands without turning around, "Don't forget what I'm capable of."
Stay away.
"I-I know that," you retaliate weakly. Just by hearing his tone made you want to melt away and become one with the ice. He was a scary man indeed, the same one who attacked you earlier. But even so, "That doesn't mean I want you dead! If you go that way, you might freeze to death. Aren't you cold? You don't even have a coat on."
"..." Upon the mention of his predicament, his senses started to kick in. As a yaksha, Xiao wasn't able to be affected by temperature but now he felt his hands beginning to sting, trembling from it’s impact. Ah, so this is what it feels like to be cold. Still Xiao was stubborn and continued to push you away, "What happens to me has nothing to do with you. Now leave, or else."
"I-I can't do that!"
Xiao clicks his tongue in frustration. How annoying. This is why he dislikes meddling with meddlesome humans. But quite frankly, he wasn't sure how to handle your type of forwardness since most tend to back away. And so, Xiao does what he usually does, he ignores you and continues walking, eventually you'll give up on him anyway. However he hears a loud thump and whips around to see your body laying in the snow. The hours of travelling in the cave have seemed to caught up that you inevitably collapsed from exhaustion.
Knitting his evergreen brows together, Xiao lets out an irritable sigh.
...
You wake up to find the sky above your head and your coat draped over your shoulders like a blanket. Dawn was slowly rising above the distance valley, you figured it was around 4a.m in the morning. Rubbing your eyes, you eventually noticed a figure sitting across, admiring the sunrise.
"Ah it's you!"
Xiao jolts ever so slightly, peeking over his bare shoulders until you could see the sun's light casted against his golden irises. Did he stay here while you were asleep? Then, that would also mean he was also the one who carried you all the way up from sixty floors below.
“You're awake,” he noted flatly, “If that's the case, then I have no reason to stay here."
Of course, that wouldn't be the last time you saw him.
You were a tenacious human being, always so insistent in dragging him away from his lonesome personality. He resides in the forest and camps there for the time being (similar to Linus since they’re both homeless lol). But you’d always run in, DAILY and sometimes for the most stupid and mundane reasons. It could either be giving him the snacks you snatched off the table since Xiao refused to participate in parties, or fancy seashells you found on the beach. You didn’t want him to miss out on all those things of course! Although he responds with irritation, it was as if his words went through your ear and then out the other. His efforts were futile (however, he was slowly warming up without realizing).
He learns how easily his body reacts in the presence of food purely because he was hungry. You bring an extra set of blankets and pillows to his campsite when the ones you gave him wore out (he didn’t ask by the way). Xiao needed help whether he liked it or not since he no longer has his powers, hence he couldn't run away. He somehow ends up moving in to live on the small islands near your farm.
Xiao doesn't understand humans very much. Just as he was unable to understand how human emotions work. He was the almighty yaksha, Adeptus Xiao and a formidable beast that killed thousands in thousands of years, at least that's what he used to be. Even now he still has yet to figure out what he was or who he was exactly without a weapon to define his existence. He was made for battle but nowadays, he found himself watering plants, chopping down trees and throwing seeds to the chickens living in your coop. How did everything escalate to this? It baffles him, how much his life changed so drastically.
Haha, you’re Xiao of course! The greatest farming assistant I could ever have.
But above all else, the one thing Xiao couldn't understand among those universal questions, is you.
"Why are you doing all this?" Finally he asked. The urging thought had been persisting at the back of his mind ever since.
You stopped on your tracks and turned to look at him, tilting your head with a complexion made curious, "What do you mean? Ah, did I do something to bother you?"
"I didn't say that," Xiao interrupts abruptly, he folded his arms across his chest and shot you a deep contemplating gaze, " You're...incomprehensible. All I did was drag you out of that cave yet why are you so kind to me? Don't you think you're extending yourself too much just because of one little deed?"
Because to him, saving a life was the norm. He does it unconditionally just like you helped him with those same intentions. Except, Xiao had been pursuing corrupted souls behind the scenes all this time and expected nothing in return. Experiencing someone's gratitude was rather new.
You shook your head, "It wasn't small to me," a satisfactory smile melting onto your face, "I'm here at this very moment, feeling the wind against my skin and smelling the scent that nature carries, these are just the few things I cherish. It's thanks to you that I can still watch over grandpa's farm, that's why I don't feel like I'm overextending myself in any way," suddenly you beam at him, "At first I thought you were a scary person. Haha. Time flies so fast, it's amazing how much can happen in between."
"Hn, you're a simpleton. But that's not a bad thing..." he points out curtly yet softly, "Do as you wish, I won't stop you so feel free to call my name whenever you need my help. I'll be there."
Xiao also finds you to be very clumsy. He couldn't leave your side even for a minute. But that was a lie. He just grew very attached to you.
When you tell him that you've been going into the mines for a quest, he tells you that you're far from capable. So he teaches you how to wield a weapon properly. Xiao was a strict teacher and he intends to keep it that way, he wouldn’t even allow you to set foot in the mines until he finds you capable enough.
You were a meek yet optimistic person, yet you were also strong-willed.
For a place that wasn't his home, he felt it was. And he found that it was all in your presence. Those peaceful hours hiding inside the barn while a storm rages outside, you sit beside him while hugging a sheep close to your chest. Xiao learns how to feed some of them, he even brings seeds for your hen house too. If you were ever short on materials, Xiao would travel to the enchanted forest behind the wizard's tower and get them for you, no matter how late it was. Though if you went by yourself, he'd deliberately go with you despite your protest.
The minute Xiao realized how much he was attached to you, it was devastating. As if the claws of his karmic debt had come back, pulling him into the shadows once more. He was an adeptus with a contract and bound by his duty, he must choose between his god who saved him from a nightmare and you, the girl he fell for, showed him that the world was indeed a beautiful place, he was stuck in an equilibrium and he felt that the binds may even tear him apart if he kept resisting.
But when did he ever have a choice?
"Where are you going Xiao?"
When he heard your voice calling his name, the yaksha willingly pulled himself to a halt. His sunset eyes narrowing from guilt before it shuts with a trembling sigh out of his mouth. Why is it that you always appear during the moments where he desperately needs to get away from you? He planned to sneak out the door, making sure his footsteps were unheard while you slept. And by the time you woke up, he didn't have to face you, he wouldn't have to say goodbye. He won't. Even if what he was currently doing said otherwise. He will never hear himself say those words.
"Xiao?"
Yet, he cannot refuse you. Not now, not ever. You were breathtaken to see a type of expression that you never thought was possible for him to make. The creases that once formed between his slender brows, the heaviness he always carried in his expression was replaced by a sense of sentimentality. Before you could register what was happening, Xiao took his step towards the porch of your house, not once did he tear away from your attention. He slides his hand beneath your jaw and affectionately against your cheek, the fondness evident in his gaze that you almost felt imprisoned by it.
"You never fail to appear in the most inconvenient of times," He gives a weak smile, a smile that makes your heart swell. Despite how much you could drown in his honesty, you couldn’t help but feel there was something wrong, “No matter how many times I’ve tried to push you away.”
You don't know him. You don't know his history and what things he committed in the past. But as if you've known this whole time, Xiao couldn't picture you leaving him for those reasons.
“You’re gentle but you don’t let others put you down. You’re kind but you don’t allow it to be your weakness. I sometimes wonder how it is possible for anyone to be so forgiving?”
"I-I don’t understand why you’re this Xiao. Is something happening?”
He won’t tell you. He doesn’t see the reason why you need to know.
You wince when something poked the side of your neck and you realized it was a tranquilizer. You looked at Xiao with dismay, his face becoming hazier until your vision darkened and could no longer hold your own weight. Xiao caught you around the waist with one arm as you fell unconscious.
"How can you be so stupid...?"
But he speaks as if those words were meant for him.
Pulling your body closer to him, Xiao chains you down into a desperate embrace. A silent scream of desperation. His forehead pressed against the bent of your shoulder and the other arm rested his hand at the center of your back. He will relish in the shape of your body, memorizing every curve both perfections and flaws. The way you fit into his arms and the pleasant smell of nature that you taught him to love, this was the only remnant he was allowed to take. Every detail, he will remember it as if clinging to the last moments of his whole world.
If he was allowed to have a desire, let him meet you again. He prayed to a god, any god-- even if it meant damaging his oath, he will accept his punishment. He prayed to each star in the sky and if he must he'll pray to the devil himself, whatever it is, he will do it for you.
As he painfully lets go, Xiao lets his hand slide off your body until the last thing he felt was the very tips of your fingers. He settles you down gently into your bed. You belong here in this peaceful world, not the one riddled with monsters.
---
~Zhongli's Story~
The Skull Cavern was considered to be the most dangerous mine of Stardew Valley. It wasn't your intention to run into any trouble, all you wanted was to test your cool new galaxy sword on some easy monsters and then be on your merry way. At first.
Just one more floor. You say, before catching an arm sticking out a pile of rocks.
"I-Is that a person?!!!"
You dug as fast as you could, any time soon the mummies would wake up and start attacking. Quick quick! Moving the last rock, you saw the face of a young man, he was asleep but alive! and undeniably attractive oh wow *lip bite*. But despite your attempts of shaking him awake, it was fruitless and the monsters weren't waiting.
Taking out two warp totems, you raised it to the ceiling and chanted a teleportation spell.
It wasn't everyday that you brought a man to your house.
But when you did, he wouldn't be from a cave, six floors down and buried in a place filled with monsters.
"And this small black device you say is some form of communicator? That certainly is intriguing, never in my years have I heard of something so advanced."
However you were beginning to think otherwise. That this man would have been from the prehistoric ages who you managed to unbury after his thousand year slumber. Zhongli sits on the couch across from you while examining your smartphone, a term he claimed had been completely foreign. You were contemplating whether you should bother Harvey despite being past his work hour and book an emergency appointment to see if this man had a special case of amnesia.
You brushed the idea away. There was so much going on and nothing made sense, for now, you decided to settle this on your own.
"Uhm Zhongli is it?" you asked nervously, "Maybe you can try giving the name of a relative or someone you know. I can use the phonebook to see if I can find their number."
“Number?” He parroted.
You blinked a few times, making sure if you heard him correctly, “Yes, number. You know? To communicate?”
"I appreciate your kind gesture," Zhongli acknowledges in a polite manner, "But that won't be necessary. This device doesn’t seem to be at a level where it can communicate with the people from my homeland."
If he was travelling then how the hell did he end up in THE Skull Cavern is what I wanna know!
“T-Then if you don't mind me asking, where are you from?"
Zhongli takes this moment to think of an answer, aware that if he blurted something out it would not have translated in the way he wanted. But you so kindly invited him to your humble household that he felt it would only be proper to owe you an explanation, "I suppose a land from afar."
You sweatdropped, "Suppose?"
"Yes. Although I won't spare you the details since this is not your burden to bear, it’s quite difficult for me to try and remember exactly what happened," Zhongli took his chin into his hand, fingers almost covering his mouth, "Perhaps I would need search for clues in order to refresh my memory."
Oh no he really does have amnesia!!
"A-Actually why don't I just call the local doctor, I'm sure he wouldn't mind giving you a hand," you say while taking your iPhone.
"A doctor? There's no need," dismissed Zhongli, "My condition is only a minor one and I do not think I'm in a position to afford medical assistance. Besides, you have done more than enough. May you find great fortune in your years Miss (Y/n), I shall be on my way."
He pushes himself up from the couch and you watch him cross towards the door. But just when he was about to reach the space of your carpet, Zhongli pulled to an abrupt stop.
"Ah yes,” He began as if remembering something, “ Do you happen to know where the nearest Inn is located? I would need to find a place to shelter for the time being."
"..."
This was how the former god ended up being your roommate. Like Xiao, Zhongli also takes upon a human form. He needed to eat, drink and a place to sleep. He insisted that he would take the couch as well as help you with any tasks that needed to be completed during the day.
You question if Zhongli was even aware of what situation he was currently in. Answer: HE WASN'T because Zhongli is an extremely dense man. To feel embarrassed was not part of his dictionary when living with a woman.
The type to take long showers. You always find the bathroom steaming because he doesn't turn on the fan to get rid of it (but maybe you should've taught him). So when it was your turn to use the shower, the water was either lukewarm or worst case scenario, cold.
Also he somehow finds your old kettle (that your grandfather used) to brew tea even though you told him you already had a water boiler. He stated that he liked doing things the old-fashioned way, it brings him a sense of nostalgia. You couldn't understand what he meant (unless you considered that he was older than he seemed....no that can’t be it!)
Despite it all, Zhongli was incredibly polite and considerate. Tending the farm was not an easy job and you often came home with sore muscles, fatigued from running so many errands. He's knowledgeable in terms of making the best herbal mix for a soothing remedy.
You would see a warm cup, every morning before going to work and every time you come home, it was sitting on the kitchen table (if his drink had potion effects, they would be regeneration).
Gentle he was but it wasn't good for your heart.
Ever since Zhongli moved in, it became difficult to live in your own house.
There were many situations where he caused trouble despite not intending to cause disruption to your daily routine. And when he did, the repairs came out of your own pocket. One time you opened your microwave to find thick ash and burnt cinders stuck upon the walls.The entire space was a hazard and needed to be dispensed immediately since Zhongli thought that plastic-wrapped items were allowed to be microwaved. Another incident, as bizarre as it sounded, was when your vacuum cleaner zoomed out of your house...and never came back. You remembered the awkward cough he gave when you shot him a deathly glare, hence why Zhongli was not allowed to touch your high-tech devices (if you considered them high-tech) without your permission.
Even so, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him. It was the opposite in fact. One day, all the flaws you counted suddenly became his charms. You came to find them endearing almost.
Zhongli was a handsome man. He carried himself with a distinct aura that could only be found in the rarest geodes; revealing orestones mined from the depths of a forgotten cave, sometimes in the shape of exquisite artifacts-- a type of ancient charm. Perhaps that was why people were willing to obey his every command without hesitation. Whenever Zhongli spoke, it was full of firmness and authority yet somehow deprived of arrogance. He was polite to all and does not indulge in conflict despite how tempting gossip can be in modern society. Always patient during your temperamental moments and considerate to the point you wonder if he even had any desires. He was so kind that soon enough, you couldn't help but be flustered by his presence. Forget about having a conversation, maintaining his leveled gaze was already enough of a challenge. Like staring into the sun after the morning dew. So gentle and so very comforting. But the more you linger onto the sun, it's rays will continue to set ablaze, eventually bringing you pain.
And you feared that you have grown addicted to those feelings.
Why can't he understand?
Stopping at the center of the bridge, you kept your head low while letting the anger take form into your tightened fists. The town was empty with only the sound of water flowing beneath your feet, filling the heavy air. They rippled and swayed, peaceful amongst your inner turmoil. The fact that such a miniscule attribute was able to make your blood rise was hilariously pitiful. How did you stoop to a point that even nature, the very being you've tended for a living, could bring you bitterness? Were your feelings this uncontrollable? The answer was obvious. It spiraled, violently and mercilessly as if commanded by another. There was a wave of emotions filling your heart and you could almost feel yourself drowning from the inside. If only they were as tranquil as the ones you stood upon.
"I thought I would find you here."
The voice you dreaded calls from across and you fight to keep yourself from gasping. Oblivious to it all, Zhongli proceeds to close the distance until he towered over you, looking down to your bowed head, "When you hadn't returned home without a notice, I was getting worried if something had happened. But I'm glad that wasn't the case."
Your whole face clenches.
"Is something bothering you? If you would like, we can discuss it after eating dinner. Come, I have already prepared our meal while you were gone as well as turning off the rice cooker once finished. I hope it can ease your stress since I know it can be difficult maintaining a farm like this."
"Zhongli."
He blinks hard when the sound of his name falls out of your lips. Zhongli was an experienced observer and listener, he was able to catch the glimpse of frustration that dripped from the tone you used. Relaxing his poised shoulders, Zhongli carefully asked in a reserved manner, "Have I...done something to make you upset?"
A trembled breath escaped when you breathed out. Dense. He was so dense that sometimes it made you want to crack him open.
"Tell me..." you began, "Are you also like this with other women?"
The former god sets a brief sharp pause, "I beg your pardon?"
"I'm talking about the way you act, they're...giving me all these mixed signals. We've been living together for months, we even share meals together! And sometimes you would help me with the farm and when I didn't ask, you still insisted on tending to my needs when I felt sick. I just…” you trailed off, trembling ever so slightly, "It's all perfectly normal. You’re nice to everyone. I know that. I know that!"
"(Y/n)," Zhongli whispered. They sounded like a thousand needles to your heart.
"I doubt you have the intention to put me in this situation. You're a really great person Zhongli but I sometimes can't help feeling this isn't just some roommate thing you know?" closing your eyes, you thought of your past relationships, how they started and ended, "Do any of your actions mean anything to you? Do you know how it makes me feel? Or am I just overthinking this, that it was all one-sided this whole time?"
Alas the truth spills and the air stills, bringing the waves to a halt. Peace, tranquility, nothingness. That was all you wanted. That was all you heard. It was deafening.
"I see, so that's why," Zhongli mutters to himself with eyes narrowed, "There's...something I need to confess."
After several months, he tells you everything. How his memories returned, some of them were already intact. He told you about his homeland and his true identity, that he was a god that once ruled over Liyue for six centuries before giving away the gnosis.
The reason why he hadn't said anything until now was because there will be a day where Zhongli must depart and return to Teyvat. He was a god with a contract, the circumstance didn't matter, he must stay with it until the very end of time.
Through his years, Zhongli learned to cherish his finite moments. He didn't want to taint them with troubles to come. Thinking too far ahead into the future would only bring strain.
But what he didn't tell you was his true feelings. You were a sweet woman, tender and enthusiastic about agriculture, the way your feelings extend to the earth with grace whereas many others chose to trample over without hesitation, he fell deeply in love with that side of yours. You taught him many things and showed him many sides of humanity that he had never seen before. He even discovered an aspect of himself. Like breaking a geode, revealing the beauties held inside.
Zhongli couldn't look you in the eye when your expression was covered in disbelief. He thought he hid his feelings well but it seemed that he was expressing his love in subtle and subconscious ways that eventually drove you to fall for him as well. You didn't stop him when he left the bridge. He wasn't even in your house. He chose this, he chose to set you free from his heavy presence.
And as the weight started to lift from your shoulder, you sank to your knees and wept. It was cruel of him. To give you these emotions yet he could not bring himself to stay by your side. But your heart would not allow you to hate the man you love.
Things couldn't end this way. You had to say goodbye to him, see him one last time because if you didn't, these burdens will haunt you forever.
When Zhongli looked up to the sky he saw his ending drawing near.
Three days had passed since he last spoke with you and he had no plans in seeing you again. Soon, the former god will return to his rightful place. Even though he had already given his gnosis to the Cryo Archon as Liyue already began to enter a new era, it seems that his decisions weren't his to make as he was born in a world where stars ruled above the archons. Fate-- they won't allow it. He does not belong here. If there was one thing Zhongli regretted during his time in your world, it was that he couldn't leave you a good memory before taking his departure. The sight of your large glassy eyes and quivering lips when he crushed you with the truth, he sincerely believed that they would haunt him much more than it probably did to you. But perhaps things would be easier if you despised him. Because if he had stayed and you came to forgive him, he would no longer have the strength to let go.
Despite it all love was indeed a selfish creature. He couldn't help but feel resentment towards the stars for bringing you into his life in such a mockingly sweet manner. They tied him with a contract, made him vow to his own beliefs and tested them by using you-- a bystander struck between the crossfire, eventually bringing you down into the depths of his battlefield and he thought that maybe...maybe there was hope that he could bring you with him as well.
How disgraceful for a god to let the devil tempt him so.
Zhongli was thankful that you weren't beside him. Otherwise he would dance with the ugly hope of a slim chance for you to come along. This was the best choice. It was for his-- your own good.
"Zhongli!"
The arch of his lined eyes shot upwards. As if fate had decided to give him one final test, he felt your small figure crash into him from behind and your arms coming to hug around his waist, tightly and fearfully that he felt like you would be the one who would slip away instead.
"I...I made it time," you panted, burying your nose into his clothed back, "I’m so glad...I'm so glad you're still here…!"
Your cry of relief was a thunder to his ears, a reminder that he was the main cause. Zhongli, casted by solemn smile, lifts his hand to cover over yours and grasped onto them, I'm here, he wishes to say. Yet he knew they were only temporary promises, "To come all this way despite everything that has happened. You foolish girl..."
"It's your fault Zhongli, I'm a fool because I love you! It's all your fault that I have to say goodbye," You grit your teeth as the tears fell down your face until it blended into his clothes, "Take me with you. Please. Don't leave me all alone…!"
The words he wanted to say melted into a silent gasp through parted lips. Zhongli merely clenched them back together and his hand on your hand, even tighter. He won't lie to you. At the very least, let his actions speak for him where he himself could not.
Take me with you.
Don't leave me alone.
Goodbye.
If it is fated Morax...we will meet again.
"I see," letting his thoughts echo in his mind from the distant memories, the former god begins to take a new perspective upon his wisdom, "For many years, I have experienced countless farewells from the people I've come to known," Zhongli reminisced, tilting his head back with his golden eyes against night, as if searching for some sort of answer, "And yet I never thought what it must have felt like being in their position."
"Zhongli…" you trailed off, "Then don't! I may not know everything about you but it doesn't have to be this way. At least, just answer me this, will I ever see you again?"
"I'm sorry (Y/n)," he apologized and you knew the answer. He gently pries your arms off him, turning around so he could swipe the corner of your eyes dry. There was a glowing reverence in his countenance, one that he reserved for you and only you, it was the only way for him to express the feelings that run deep in his heart, "I cannot thank you enough for coming into my life. If there will be a day when I erode from your memories, I truly hope that you will find someone more suitable than I."
"That's ridiculous," defiantly, refusedly, you protest, "No one can replace you."
Zhongli laughs sadly as the white halo outlines his whole figure, signaling that there wasn't much time left. He wonders if there was anything he could do in his last moments, a small token, something, it could even be as small as a single star in the sky, "If it is fated...we will meet again."
You watch him turn transparent until he slipped from your grasp. No longer was the man, only the dust being one with the sky. They shone brilliantly but you were left in the darkness.
487 notes · View notes
obsidian-chika · 3 years
Text
Kakashi Hatake x Male Reader
Oneshot
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It was like any other normal day for (M/n). Waking up to and empty bed and finding a note in the kitchen. He never wanted to hold Kakashi back from his job, but his insecurities were spiraling out of control again. With the lack to time they spent together, he was scared Kakashi didn’t love him anymore. They’ve been together for about two to three years now. He was told many time by Kakashi that he is loved, but insecurities never go away, do they.?
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(M/n) decided to go out around the village today. Visiting shops and simply just walking around, sightseeing. It was quite a surprise when he ran into team seven during his outing. Weren’t they out on a mission with Kakashi?
“Naruto? Aren’t you Sasuke and Sakura supposed to be on a mission with Kakashi right now?”
“We’re spying on Kakashi-Sensei, believe it!”
Staring at him dumbfounded, “he’s not on duty?”
“He was spotted with a lady. Not sure who he is, but they were together,” answered Sasuke.
“It could be his girlfriend for all we know,” Sakura added.
Going silent with the new found information, (M/n) wanted to go home now. He couldn’t blame Sakura with what she said since their relationship was never brought to the public eye, only a selective few knew about it. Now he wanted to be in bed, curled up in a ball, and cry. Turning around to leave, something gripped him arm, preventing him from leaving.
Turning around to see Naruto holding his arm, “I was planning to leave, what else did you need from me, Naruto?”
“Why don’t you join us, maybe we’ll learn more about him together!”
Wanting to object Naruto’s reasoning for you to stay, but he didn’t seem to give (M/n) any other choice, and ended up dragging him to tag along with the other two.
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Dying sounded so much better than hearing what was being said by the two below, or to two next to him. (M/n) wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on either way, only wanting to go home and sleep his feelings away. He told the three that he would be there, but not be there at the same time. A loud noise startled him. Only to regret looking down.
Kakashi and the lady kissed. Even if was an accident all his insecurity feelings said other wise. He was starting to slightly panic. He was still in the tree while the other three fell down. The scene in front of him wasn’t a very pleasant one to the eyes.
Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were either nervously saying something or staring. To make things worse, Naruto took the flowers from Sakura pointing it in the couple’s direction.
“Congratulations!” Shouted Naruto.
Kakashi didn’t say anything but nervously smiled, while the Lady thanked them.
Watching this made (M/n) want to crawl in a hole and die. He decided to just leave before he started breaking down.
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Tears ran down his face as he left. Not wanting to return to their shared apartment, the training grounds was his next best place to go. He wanted to train his body to the max. Not caring if he was injured after, he went and vented everything out. Turning his compressed emotions all into anger wanting release.
Scratches and bruises decorated his body. Tired and worn out, he sat down next to one of the many trees, gazing at the sky. He felt really dizzy. Black and white spots started to fill his vision and his body gave out. Falling to the ground, he closed his eyes.
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It’s been almost three days now and no one has heard from you. The hokage found it odd that you didn’t visit him like you usually do, while Kakashi was panicking on where you could possibly be. There were chances you possibly died, until Kakashi remembered that you were an a hiatus from missions. That still didn’t ease his mind about your safety.
It didn’t help him when it was reported you were severally injured and hospitalized too. He took time off from missions with team seven just to constantly be by your side and take care of you. He’s very scared to lose you like he did with everyone else. You meant a lot to him, even though he had some trouble showing it.
It’s been around a week and Kakashi wasn’t feeling so great. One week without hearing anything from you. No words. No physical contact. Not even your awesome cooking. He missed it all so much. Time seemed to be passing slower for him than those around him.
Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura would sometimes drop by to visit you, along with bringing over flowers. The hokage dropped by once or twice as well. A few others also came by to visit, but Kakashi wanted you to wake up so bad. Constantly sitting by you and holding your hand.
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Another four days passed. It was late and Kakashi was sitting by the unconscious, bedridden male. Half way through the night, there was a slight twitch in Kakashi’s hand. He brushed it off thinking but was only his imagination playing with him. That was until there was a shift in the bed and a low sound that clearly didn’t come from him.
He stared at the male who has just awoken from being out for almost two weeks. He tackled that now awake male onto the hospital bed. He was shedding tears of relief and joy, but he was also upset with the male. What on earth did he do to get like this? We’re there people Kakashi needed to hurt in order to protect him?
“What the hell happened to you, dear? You looked really bad when they fond you, and they also said you over used your chakra,” Kakashi’s face was full of worry for (M/n).
“I don’t know . . . ” was the answer given. Kakashi didn’t like that. So, he kept pushing and pestering about it knowing the male would crack, giving in, then telling the truth.
“I- It- Well-” (M/n) stammered, “my insecurities were there. I was hoping to spend note time with you soon since we haven’t really been spending too much time together. I was planning to ask you if you wanted to go out together, but you were busy and I didn’t want to hold you back.”
There was a small silence between the two males. Taking Kakashi’s silence as a sign to continue, the male did just that.
“I know I shouldn’t be doubting out relationship, but I really can’t stop myself from thinking about the worst. I got dragged by Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura because they said they saw you with some lady and it could be good for me to learn more about you’re life. See the kiss and congratulations from your team didn’t help me any better. I didn’t want to dwell more on the thoughts and decided to train. It’s probably from my old training habits I was hurt this bad. I’m really sorry.”
(M/n) couldn’t bring himself to look at Kakashi’s eyes. He felt so vulnerable and small in front of his partner. Eyes starting to tear up as well. He was looking at anything but Kakashi, while Kakashi felt really guilty. It was hard to control what people feel and events that take place, but now that he was thinking back to the past few weeks, (M/n) and him rarely had time together.
“Dear, I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting you,” Kakashi said, wiping (M/n)’s tears, “how about be spend some time together. I’ll request a small break to stay with you. Plus, those wounds won’t heal themselves, will they?”
(M/n) smiled at Kakashi’s words. Wrapping his arm tighter around the silver haired male’s waist. Kakashi leaned in, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck, bringing each other closer until their foreheads were touching. They started into each other’s eyes, slowly leaning in for a kiss.
“You’re my only one (M/n). I won’t love someone the way I love you.”
The moonlight showered both of them in its rays as they cherished the time they were spending together in each other’s arms.
✼ •• ┈┈┈┈๑⋅⋯ ୨˚୧ ⋯⋅๑┈┈┈┈ •• ✼
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a-singleboat · 3 years
Text
His Shirt
Word Count: 1533
A/N: I literally have no excuse, but I’m back!
Request: Can I request something where the reader and Shayne have been seeing each other for a little while and she unknowingly wears one of his shirts to work and the whole day goes by like normal but towards the end of it, someone like Noah or something ends up questioning it like “how has no one noticed this, or mentioned it all freaking day?!” And Shayne gets shy about it but the reader just laughs it off and it’s all cute and fluffy af💕💕- Anon
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Over quarantine, you’d seen very little of any of your friends and coworkers. Working from home was tough, especially since you and your partner had just made the decision to move in with each other a week before the entire country had been submerged into a lockdown that stretched over a few months. The days blended together and eventually dragged on, which made you excited to return to work if anything. 
The morning of your official return, you woke up extremely early, not having been able to sleep the night before due to pure excitement. You wanted to get back to filming, to doing all the things you did before going into quarantine, you missed the hustle and bustle of set life. 
You were dressed before Shayne was, throwing on a button up from your shared closet as well as a pair of dark-wash jeans that only felt a little tight at the waist. You weren’t concerned, seeing as you were never really on the skinny side of fitness, you figured it was just early morning bloating that would go away as the day went on.
“Are you driving or am I?” you asked, bouncing on the balls of the feet as you waited for Shayne to pull on a thin jacket. It wasn’t fully winter yet but it also wasn’t cold enough to constitute a full coat. You had a thinner track jacket on as well, the zipper zipped only part of the way up in your hurry. 
Shayne paused by you to pull up the zipper the rest of the way before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Calm down,” he advised, pulling his mask on over the bottom half of his face. “We still have to grab breakfast before heading to the offices, Courtney asked if we could stop by that bagel place by us she likes.”
“Is it even open?” you asked, patting down your pockets to make sure you had everything. Once you were sure you had your phone, keys, and wallet, you then realized that you had completely forgotten your purse inside. You whirled around to head back inside when Shayne handed you the black bag, a knowing smirk on his face. 
“They’re open for pickups only,” he told you, pulling your keys from your pocket, “and I’ll drive, I don’t feel like getting pulled over by the cops today.”
“I’m not that bad at driving,” you tried to defend yourself, hurrying after him as he walked off to the parking lot. “I just take the speed limit signs as suggestions but that doesn’t mean I’m bad at it.”
He didn’t respond, instead holding the passenger seat door open for you. His action was answer enough. You slid into the passenger seat and buckled in as he shut the door tight, running around to the other side and sliding into the driver’s seat. 
“What are we going to tell them when you roll up driving my car, huh?” you questioned. “Our friends know we moved into the same apartment because it was cheaper as roommates, not because we started dating. If you roll up driving my car they’ll have questions.”
“It’ll be fine,” he tried to parlay your worries. “Besides, if you’re that concerned about it I can just say you had a headache or didn’t feel like driving after we got to the bagel shop. Not the end of the world.”
You sank back into your seat, coming to terms with the fact that Shayne was not going to let you drive. He pulled out of the parking lot as One Direction played softly in the background, the aux cord trailing from its socket to the connector on your phone as you dictated what you listened to on the way to the bagel shop. 
Shayne got out of the car when you got there, heading in to pick up the order you had called ahead for on the way there. He was back before Temporary Fix ended, handing the bagels over to you as you switched over to Alec Benjamin for the rest of the ride in. 
You ate your bagel on the way in, putting the vegetable spread evenly over the toasted bread and eating it as Water Fountain played. You held out a bit of your bagel, silently asking if Shayne wanted any. He took the bite, smiling when he realized you accidentally got cream cheese on his cheek. You reached out with a napkin and wiped it off before finishing the rest of your bagel. 
You arrived at the offices shortly after, unplugging your phone from the aux and exiting the vehicle. Luckily, no one was outside to see the two of you enter the building. You would say you were walking a little too closely for it to be considered friendly, especially during a pandemic, but everyone knew that the two of you were close friends anyways. Walking close together wouldn’t give anything away. 
“What do you have to film today?” you made small talk in the elevator, getting to your working mindset. You knew what you had to do, film a gaming video with Ian, Noah, and Courtney, as well as take a look and collaborate with the writers on a new skit idea for when production went back to being fully up and running. It would be a short day for you, which wasn’t ideal but at least you got some camera time.
Shayne looked up from his phone. “I’ve got the meeting with the crew and then some gaming videos, I think. We’re also planning for the Christmas video soon, so I’ll probably be with Wardrobe for most of the day.”
You hummed as the elevator doors opened, Shayne tucking his phone away and then sending you a wink. You felt your face burn hot as you scrunched up your nose. You reached up to fix your mask as you waited for the elevator to go up to the main office floor, heading straight for your desk where a pack of Lysol wipes and a temperature gun were waiting. 
Proactive, you thought, using the wipes to clean off the surface of your desk before finally setting your things down. You took your jacket off, draping over the back of your chair before sitting. You had about thirty minutes before your call time so you checked your email and went over a few of the new safety regulations that were put in place for filming.
The most notable were the fifteen-minute COVID tests you would have to take before and after each section of filming, meaning you couldn’t enter or exit the filming area without a negative test. Honestly, that was a good thing if any. At least the company cared in that way. 
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Filming took up the rest of your day and when you finally finished with your writer’s meeting, it was six pm. Not as early as a day as you would have hoped but you’ve definitely stayed in the studio for longer so you weren’t going to complain. 
You were sitting at your desk as you waited for Shayne to finish up his meeting, casually chatting with Noah to pass the time. You were sharing one of your quarantine stories when Shayne walked in, heading straight for your desk with his things already collected. 
“Are you ready to go?” he asked, adjusting her jacket. “Also, what do you want for dinner tonight because I was thinking we could have lasagna but if we want lasagna we have to stop by the market on the way.”
You laughed, pulling your jacket on. “I could go for lasagna.”
Noah looked between the two of you, slowly connecting the dots. He pointed at you, a grin on his face as realization crossed his features. “That’s Shayne’s shirt.”
You looked down, realizing that, yeah, you were wearing Shayne’s shirt. You looked over at Shayne who’s cheeks were as red as a tomato. He started stammering, offering reasons as to why you were wearing his shirt. 
You just shrugged, quickly thinking for a way out. “The laundry must have gotten mixed up. Not the first time I’d accidentally worn his shirts.” 
 Noah gave you a look that read that he didn’t quite believe you. But he let it go, taking note of Shayne’s red cheeks and your flustered looks. He smirked, patting your shoulder as he got up. 
“I’ll believe you for now,” he said, leaving the two of you to stew in your minor embarrassment. 
“How long until everyone knows?” you asked Shayne who looked only mildly mortified that Noah was the first to find out. “We weren’t even keeping it a secret either… I’m proud of us anyhow.”
“I guess that means we don’t have to worry about who sees us now,” he said, looking on the bright side. “And yeah, keeping it a secret any longer would have been kinda dumb, wouldn’t it have been.”
You headed to the elevators, linking your arm through Shayne’s. 
“Not excited for the fans to find out, though.”
Shayne looked at you and then looked back at the opening elevator doors. “We don’t have to tell them. It can be Smosh’s little secret.”
TAGLIST
@beautiful-holland​ @toms-order​ @starlightfound​  @positiveparker​ @bippity-boppity-boopa​ @caswinchester2000​ @andreasworlsboring101 @imladylunaticbitch​ @paige0103​ @theofficialzivadavid​
623 notes · View notes
lostgreekgod · 3 years
Text
delusion
a/n: hello aaaaa i had @theaudacitytowrite give me a prompt for a loki x reader fic solely because I do not find entertainment elsewhere! anyways
word count: 2776 (shit got longer, but what can I say I'm very feely when it comes to angst)
warnings: angst. angst angst angst. some crying. there was this one mention of blood, tendons & stuff ? but that's about it have fun crying
pairing: loki x f!reader
summary: you and Loki have been together for quite some time now. what happens when his insecure self realizes that you love him? and that he does too?
another a/n: I feel like this could use a part 2 i might come up with it next week because I've got a 7 day break from school yayy lmk if you'd like that nexie
4 years. It had been 4 years, 3 months, and 27 days since y/n had shed a tear. But on this fine autumn morning, as the yellow and brown leaves rustled in the gentle winds, as the smell of coffee, pumpkin, and spice wafted in the air, she let a tear fall- courtesy of her lover. No, scratch that. Her ex-lover.
\\ 3 hours earlier \\
Humming a tuneless song, an exhausted y/n walked back to her room in the Avenger’s tower. A whole day of training wouldn’t be smart when she had a crucial mission to lead just the next day, but she wanted the mission to pan out exactly right. This wasn’t her first mission, but the stats were so much more critical compared to the missions she had been sent on before. A new rival organization was springing up in SHIELD’s radar, and they seemed as high as ever in spirit, regardless of how the Avengers had managed to crush HYDRA not so long ago. Apparently, according to a message they had received a few moments before, the up-and-coming organization had 4 junior agents in captivity, and in exchange for those agents, they wanted intel. Fury’s plan was to provide a hard drive with incorrect information with an embedded virus, and have the agents rescued before the rival agents decrypted the file and realized SHIELD’s play. Two birds with one stone, as he had phrased. y/n was going to go in with Natasha and Loki. Nat, because she was as light as a cat on her feet, and Loki because he had his seidr for illusions, teleportation, et cetera. This wasn’t going to be her first mission with her 4-month boyfriend either, but she was excited to be fighting alongside him, nevertheless. As she washed up in the shower, she heard her room door open and close with a click. Finally. She thought with a smile. She could go to sleep in her beloved’s arms for the few hours she had left for rest and relaxation before they set out. Putting on her nightgown, she left the bath. She saw how Loki was cocooned on her bed, arms reaching out towards her, a little smile on his face. Unlike her, the god didn’t train much- but he still looked tired.
“Hello, my little lioness. Whom did you beat up today? You do realize it is wiser to rest before a mission.” He said in a loud, lazy whisper. All y/n could do was smile sweetly at him and snuggle under the covers. He knew how the lack of training made her insecure about her ability to be stealthy. Instead of letting Loki’s arms wrap around her like most of the other nights, she spooned his chest instead. Loki’s eyes widened at the sudden gesture, his body tensing up at the sudden disposal of love. He had only given love; he had never been on the receiving side of it. Wait, love? He didn’t love y/n. He didn’t. That swell he felt in his chest every time he saw her was simply the result of the great appreciation and respect he had for her. Nothing more. He couldn’t love her. After all, everyone he had ever loved ended up being taken away from him.
Chuckling lightly, he hoped y/n wouldn’t catch onto his nervousness. “What are you doing my dear?”
Inhaling his scent, y/n mumbled, her eyes still closed. “Sleeping. Go to sleep my love. We have to be up in less than 3 hours.”
My love? Yes, y/n had called him that multiple times, but he had never thought much of it. Why was he suddenly so wary of it? Did y/n truly love him? No, maybe she wasn’t thinking. She was already worn out and sleepy, maybe she blurted it out accidentally. No one could love him. No one.
y/n sensed that he still hadn’t relaxed. Cracking her eyes slightly open, she asked lightly, “Is everything okay, love?” Loki’s brows furrowed at her question. There it was again. Love. Loving him was impossible. To love him would be delusional. A move of delusional stupidity. Blatant ignorance.
Loki shifted away from her and sat up, ignoring the throbbing in his chest when he heard her whine in response. He met her eyes only to be asked another question. “Love, what’s the matter?”
His heart clenched against his chest, suddenly the room was too hot. He had to understand what was going on. He had to figure this out before it was too late.
“Love?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
y/n scanned his face, trying to understand the reason for his sudden withdrawal. She simply hummed in response.
Loki raised his eyebrows, indicating her to reiterate her response.
“Yes, what is the matter?”
“You referred to me as ‘love’.” He repeated, his tongue spewing out the last word like it was coated in dirt and grime.
“Yes, I suppose I did. Is something bothering you?” she asked again, placing her hand on his thigh as a gesture of concern.
How was he expected to ask her if she actually, truly loved him, without causing a kerfuffle? Without making it seem awkward, without losing her? What if she said she didn’t love him? What then? Would that make him feel better? Would that make him happy? A chill ran down his spine when he realized his answer. No. he wouldn’t be happy. In fact, he’d be terribly upset. He wanted y/n to love him. Shaking his head, he tried to heed logic over his emotion. He had to stop himself before he caused something he couldn’t fix. Before y/n realized the monster he truly was. He had to protect his beloved y/n, that would be the least he owed to her, after all that he had led her into.
He neutralized his expression, calming his breathing. This was for the best. He was the God of Lies, he did not deserve love after all that he had done.
“As a matter of fact, y/n, something is bothering me.”
y/n nodded, encouraging him to explain his predicament. “You can talk to me, love.”
Loki inhaled quickly, the use of the blasted term knocking him out of character for a second before he was able to regain his composure. He would ask the question directly. Right to the point, like he was doing business. That was the only way he could maintain his pretense without breaking down too soon. y/n might never forgive him after tonight, but to have her angry at him was so much better than losing her, on his account.
“Do you love me?”
y/n gasped lightly at the sudden question, her eyes widening at how Loki asked her about something so deep with no emotion in his voice. She sensed his sudden hostility, this coldness he was presenting her with. Sitting upright, she looked into his eyes. Nothing. She could read nothing from his expression. All she could pick up was this eerie sadness radiating off of him.
She decided to try reasoning with him. This sudden hostility meant something was bothering him at a much more personal level, and such issues mustn’t be dealt with before an important mission. She would know.
“We don’t have to do this today, Loki. We have to be up early tomorrow, and I doubt- “
“Answer the question, y/n.” Loki interrupted, his voice hardened like steel.
“Loki, we really mustn’t-“ she tried again.
“Answer, y/n.” he pressed.
y/n could only look at him and wonder what the cause was for the unexpected change in his demeanor. How was she supposed to tell him? How was she supposed to give the answer to the one question that could either make or break everything that they had together? How was she supposed to tell him that her love for him was far more than life? That he was her life? It didn’t matter how less time they had spent with each other; she knew him a lot longer before they had decided to begin their courtship, and she had fallen in love with him even before they had gotten romantically involved. She only fell harder for him after she saw how he truly was. How broken and vulnerable, how he yearned for a place in someone’s heart, how he wished someone could love him without any foretold conditions. How he wished to be free. Loki’s eyes widened as realization dawned upon him. y/n’s lack of response answered his question. She did love him. But he had to hear it from her. That was the only way he could finish this for good. For his y/n.
“I’m waiting.” He prompted, slightly flinching at the coldness in his voice.
y/n’s eyes flicked over to his, her skin eliciting goosebumps from the steely nature of his voice. He had never been like this to her. The last time she had seen him like this was when he was under Thanos’ control. Breathing deeply, she reached out and held his hands, shutting her eyes for a moment.
“Yes. I do. I love you,” she whispered, blood pounding against her ears. Her heart convulsed in her chest when Loki didn’t reply. She cracked her eyes open, her fingers growing cold at Loki’s unchanged demeanor.
Loki’s chest heaved at her response. ‘I love you,’ she had whispered, her eyes shut at the vulnerability of their situation. He already knew what she was going to say, but to hear it from her own mouth, her voice tiny as ever in fear that he wouldn’t return her feelings had him gasp slightly. His blood ran cold, his mind freezing at another realization. He loved her too. Of course he did. How could he have been so blind? He loved her so much, he hadn’t even noticed. Finish it! Finish it right now! Before you make things worse! His mind screamed at him. He knew what he had to do. Swallowing, he tried to memorize the feel of her hands against his. This was all he was ever going to have. A memory. A memory of his little lioness, a memory of what he would have had if he was someone different. Someone nicer, better. Someone not him. He pulled away from her, and met her eyes, his expression stoic and emotionless. Like the monster he was.
“Pity.” He whispered, his heartbreaking at how y/n’s eyes widened. He thought he experienced heartbreak when he lost his mother. As destructive as that moment was, many years ago, he believed he wouldn’t feel anything over this. After all, you can’t break something that’s already broken. But boy, was he wrong. This was heartbreak. And apparently, it's even worse when you go through it a second time. His veins felt like ice, his head heavier than ever. He could feel his throat closing up, all he wanted was to rip his heart out of his chest. He didn’t deserve her. Hell, he didn’t deserve to live after all that he had done.
“What?” came y/n’s voice, a little barely over a whisper. He couldn’t help but notice how her voice was heavy, laced with hurt.
“It’s a pity you think you love me.” He reiterated, his words chapping away at his already cracked heart.
y/n couldn’t process the event unfolding in front of her. Loki didn’t love her. No, worse. Loki thought it was stupid that she loved him. If she had any concern for her dignity, she would ask him to leave. But she loved him far too much. She decided to try one last time. Straddling him, she reached over and cupped his face in his hands, pressing her lips against his ice-cold ones. He was shocked for a moment, and before he realized, he was kissing her back. I love you, he wanted to say. I love you too. But all could do was try and engrave in his mind the feeling of her soft lips on his, the warmth of her hands against his cheeks. This was the end. He had to use all his willpower not to pull her in his arms and deepen the kiss, and whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
Breaking away, y/n whispered, “it may be stupid that I do. Pathetic, even. -It isn’t pathetic. I love it.- Honestly, not one day goes by where I don’t face criticism about how I must be an ignorant fool to love someone like you. But what these people don’t understand, is that they are the ones that are ignorant. They do not see you as I do, and although I wish every day that they would, I doubt it will ever happen. You are, the best thing that has ever happened to me. That ever will happen to me,” she says, taking his hand and placing it over her heart. “Can’t you feel this? This is what I feel every time I think of you- this is how I feel every time you merely breathe in my direction. -You are the reason I still exist, my dear. You keep me tethered to the outside world.- My love for you has been in existence for far longer than our courtship. I wish I could do more than just tell you how much I love you, if I could, I would give you anything, everything you’ve ever wanted; my heart was yours the moment I set eyes on you 2 years ago. So take it, trample over it- it was yours to do anything with anyway. -So was mine. I am yours, just as you claim to be mine.- I love you, Loki Friggason, and I refuse to stop. -I love you too, my darling y/n. but I must do this. For you. Forgive me.-”
All Loki could do was hold in all those thoughts he desperately wanted to put in words. He could feel his eyes well up, his chest convulsing for the umpteenth time. Inhaling her scent, he hoped he would remember the sweet smell of chocolate and wine she always smelled of.
With great restraint, he pushed her off of him, his heart churning at y/n’s gasp. Her heart cracked at his dismissal. He couldn’t look at her while he shattered her heart, while he ripped it right off the pedestal. This was the end.
“You say all this, but you mean nothing by it, I assure you. I have encountered numerous midgardians professing their love for me, but I can tell when someone lies y/n. And it is very clear to me how you are simply overwhelmed. You do not love me. You are simply but a blatant, ignorant fool.” Could his heart shatter any further? Apparently, yes. It clawed at his chest, pain searing in his bones. He would feel all of it. He would embrace it.
He forced his lips to morph into a twisted, sickening smile. Agony. That is what he felt. Fresh burning agony, like fire in his tendons.
“What we have is all but a product of boredom. I was simply bored, silly mortal.” He looked up at her when she gasped, her hand on her heart. It was almost as if he could hear it shatter. All he wanted to do was hold her and weep. Tell her how sorry he was. Tell her how he wished he was the person she truly deserved. Instead, he was going to crawl into a ball and wish for death.
He got up to leave. Once and for all. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he willed his tears to sink back to wherever they came from. He didn’t deserve to cry.
“Did I ever matter to you?” he heard her whisper. Deciding not to answer, he stepped towards the door before she called to him. “Did I, Loki?” she asked again, her voice steadier. There was the woman he had hopelessly fallen in love with. A lioness, she certainly was.
He turned around to look at her, the same lifeless smile dancing across his lips. If he was someone else, he would have been taken aback at y/n’s stoic expression. She would rise again. She would continue to live her life, and no one was going to stop her. Especially him. That was the lioness he knew of. The only evidence of her hurt was the tiny teardrops prickling in her eyes, which he could see only because of the morning sun rays peeking in through the gaps in the curtains. She never cried.
“No,” he breathed, swiftly exiting through the door before she could see the tears that had traitorously fallen onto his cheeks.
part 2 here!
167 notes · View notes
imaginativeamateur · 3 years
Note
can you do 30 with kakashi and a fem reader pls 🥺🤲 I love your work and am so happy for you regarding your follower milestone, congrats !!
[Kakashi Hatake X Reader] The Power of Love
|200 Followers Event|
Prompt: 30 — "I mean it."
Pairing: Kakashi Hatake x fem!Reader
Note: Aloha, I'm back!!! Thanks for the request and the cheers😝 Okay, this one is AHHH, the title :DD This one is very sentimental but playful at the same time. There's like some serious talk but also entertaining moments, too. Without further ado, please enjoy!
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Constant requests that you get married were sent in your way for the past several months. Your parents were tired of having to wait to see you bring a man home, but you had no intention to comply. The topic would come up to the table during dinner every now and then, with your mother furrowing in her brows and your father sighing in distress. On your part, you played cool, soothing them that you just found a guy and dismissing the matter with a feigned grin.
Everything would be ordinary, much to your own liking until your parents secretly signed you up for a match-matching service. You had a big argument that night but they smugly smiled and ensured that you would fall in love with him immediately. It was ridiculous.
“You’d be head over heels in no time, Y/N,” your mother said.
“Like she knows who he is,” you mumbled, scoffing on your way back to your apartment.
Though you completely shut the door to the new romance—the guy that you presumably knew nothing about—you woke up earlier than usual, earlier than you should. You blamed it on your neighbor’s child crying but you discerned that you were being irrational. The whole situation was aberrant. You purposefully threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt that was too worn out for a first date. Still, you could not be any more careless, the last thing you wanted was to get the man to generate some form of adoration for you. You checked yourself in the mirror and made sure that you looked representable nonetheless.
The sun was already high up in the sky when you locked your door and tiredly dropped the keys into your handbag, storming to the destination with angry steps. It was your day off and you could have spent your time on something much more meaningful, training, for example. Kakashi-senpai said you still needed to hone your close combat skills. You pursed your lips at the thought of the Hatake, feeling even more enraged and annoyed. The said Shinobi was a nice guy, he was gentle and mannered with everyone but you. He treated you like his kid, bossing you around, requesting you to dig through the shelves of bookstores to find the limited edition of Icha Icha that was recently published. But you did not quit being his subordinate. Kakashi had everything that you needed to harness, from his skills to knowledge, and you would never let such a golden opportunity go wasted.
Being with him for two long years brought you many benefits and visible improvements, one of them being your patience. You were short-tempered and Kakashi was just the perfect tame to your boiling climate. The silver-haired veteran knew you were cantankerous on some days, like today, when you were having an involuntary sunbathing session, and would always be later than he usually would. Over the drenching months, you grew indifferent to his tardiness, adapted to his peculiar conscience of time, and no longer rambled when he arrived. He would come up with the most bizarre excuses to get away with it, and at first, you were furious about it, but you found them somewhat adorable now.
You smiled, wondering why you were recalling your moments with Kakashi when you were waiting for your date to come. You bit the inner side of your cheek when you realized your patience was running thin—it reminded you of your silver-haired senpai. Releasing a shaky breath, you calmed yourself down, assuring that you would apologize to the man that it was merely a misunderstanding with your parents that they signed you up for today. You rubbed the surface of the table with your fingers and let your thoughts carried you away at the moment, unconsciously drumming the rhythm of your favorite song—his favorite song that you grew accustomed to after years of the very special silver-haired occupying your day.
“You seem nervous.”
Your head perked at the unexpectedly familiar voice, “Kakashi-senpai?”
The silver-haired settled himself in the opposite seat with ease, “Good morning, Y/N.”
“What are you doing here?” You did not bother to greet him back properly due to the tremendous shock being registered into your system.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to… to,” you came to a halt, fumbling with the hem of your shirt when you found it impossible to continue. It was embarrassing.
“Blind date?” He questioned, quirking a brow.
Your cheeks heated up in modesty, unable to answer his beseech.
“That seems like a yes,” Kakashi leaned back, enjoying your flustered state, “I’m here for a blind date, too.”
“A what?”
“A blind date,” he repeated without failing to lose his composure.
It took you several seconds to comprehend the whole situation, then you shifted in your chair, propping your elbows onto the table to hide your blush, “This is such an… interesting encounter. But I won’t change my mind.”
You were fairly absolute with the plan to turn the whole thing down, despite whoever was your date, despite it being Kakashi Hatake. You did not want to risk the bond that took you so long to form with him and the trust that he enlisted you upon. You could not.
“I also came resolute,” he made a simple, yet down-to-earth statement. Kakashi caught your eyes and challenged, “What do you want to do after a coffee date?”
“No,” you jerked away, “what are you saying? Are you okay, senpai?”
“We’re on a date and you still call me senpai?”
“Look, we’re not going to do this, we can’t, Kakashi,” you tried to explain but to no avail.
The silver-haired smugly smiled, “Good, Kakashi sounds much nicer.”
“I’m not joking,” you cleared your throat and glared at him.
“Neither am I, Y/N. I mean it.”
Your lips fell apart as the coherence in your mind shattered into bits and pieces. Kakashi silently observed the fleeting expressions that you made, waiting for your response.
“I don’t know,” you stuttered. You knew who Kakashi was and the tragedy of your occupation. The two of you did not deserve anyone’s love, for once that you held the chance of breaking their heart. You looked away from his eyes to conceal the wavering of your emotions, “I never thought about life in that way. I don’t need a man in my life, that’s what I’d like to believe. I don’t want anyone to feel battered when I’m gone.”
“I hate it to see those I love cry and mourn, too,” he mumbled. You listened attentively as though it was yourself confessing to the dark. Kakashi continued, “I only live for a certain amount of time but I have been constantly filling it with despair and loneliness. There were things that I want to do and people that I want to love, but because of my fear of hurting them, I didn’t. But after the massive loss that I’ve experienced, everything was different, I understood how painful regret actually is.”
Tears began to well in your eyes the more his words dropped. You balled your fists, blinking profusely to prevent the warm droplets from escaping. Kakashi noticed your quiet sobs, running his fingers over your trembling hands, loosening your grip, and interlacing your fingers with his. You released a heavy sigh and pulled both your hands back, wiping away your tears as quickly as when they fell and dampened the fabric of your jeans.
“You’re not at the bottom of agony when you lose someone important,” Kakashi breathed, “it’s when you feel empty after they’ve left and mourning on what you could’ve done when they were still with you.”
Your sobs eventually assuaged as you chewed on his words. The silver-haired distracted himself by stirring the liquid of his drink, but he was in no state to enjoy its taste. He already said everything he wanted to say, and the decision was now fully on your shoulders. But by your lack of response, he was sure that you did not see your relationship taking another form—the way that he wished. He abruptly stood up from his seat, fleeting on his feet, “Let’s forget about what’s happened. I mean I still respect you as my teammate, Y/N. Don’t forget our meeting tomorrow.”
“No-no, Kakashi-senpai, wait,” you moved, hastily shoving your hands in his direction, gripping his wrist like a vice. You hung your head low to avoid his investigating gaze as you spoke, “I do.”
His gears in his head turned, and Kakashi smiled with satisfaction, “You do what?”
Your heart was beating frantically in your chest, so fast that you felt its rapid pumps in your throat. You stuttered out, voice growing quieter the more you expressed, “I-I want to go out with you, senpai—”
“Drop the ‘senpai’ already,” he playfully hissed and you grinned, certain that you just made the best choice of your life. Kakashi leaned down and rested his chin on your shoulder blade, snuggling his face into your neck, “Thank you, Y/N. Thank you for letting me love you.”
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Taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu @thenightfallingstar @iam-gaaras-loveintrest @animepickle7 @tirzamisu @rinnegankakashi
199 notes · View notes
silky-stories · 3 years
Note
Whitty having a nightmare about accidentally killing his s/o and reader comforting him with cuddles? 👀
Sure thing! Sorry for the wait by the way, the ask ended up glitching and disappeared for the longest time ^^;;
Hope this turned out alright!
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Too Dangerous {Whitty/Reader}
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff
Words: 1788
Related Song: sagun - I’ll Keep You Safe (feat. Shiloh) https://youtu.be/7ly7Mhle-4M
Summary: Whitty is scared of losing control and hurting his partner, thankfully his partner is a magician and knows how to make all of his worries disappear.
Disclaimer/s: Death, blood, small description of dead body, a bit of swearing, crying and panic attacks
Notes: (Please read) The start is pretty graphic and may be hard to read for some people, so there’s a double line down further that you can scroll to if you want to skip that part. It gets happy though, don’t worry :)! Also Whitty’s dialogue is in orange, Y/n’s is in blue!
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Numb.
That’s how he always felt after this happened.
After he lost his cool.
After he lost himself.
After his body gave in and combusted into the hot red plumes of rage, engulfing and ripping his body apart in one swift action.
...
After he exploded.
It never took long for his body to piece itself back together, for his pieces to come back and connect and rejoin one another, allowing his mind and consciousness to slowly but surely become clearer.
It was like puzzle pieces, all eventually finding their place as the picture that was his senses to come together, becoming complete once more.
None of this was new to him, he had experienced it many times before.
Only... something was wrong this time.
His vision was still very blurry, but he could make out a few colours, red being the most prominent.
He had never felt especially impatient to regain his senses, but the further along his accelerated recovery was, the more his half healed subconscious screamed that something bad had happened.
It wasn’t until he regained his sense of smell back that he started panicking.
The thick smell of copper and rust that cut through the air quickly invaded his lungs, violating his airways with the essence of metal and death.
Maybe it was the familiarity that scared him the most but...
He knew the smell of blood all too well.
The red he saw was immediately more violent and harsh than it seemed to be before, he stumbled closer to the scene with eyes only partially focused.
His legs still lacked most of the feeling in them, but he managed.
He needed to see what it was, he needed to know who it was. The speed that his blood rushed through his body only sped up his recovery as the picture finally came together.
...
He couldn’t keep his footing as he finally made out what laid before him.
You.
Your bleeding, broken form laid still on the concrete.
He couldn’t move.
Couldn’t think.
Couldn’t breathe.
...
He was trying to breathe.
Why couldn’t he breathe?
...
Suddenly everything hurt. His head hurt. His eyes hurt. His hands hurt. His body screamed in agony and grief at the loss of one of the few people that cared. One of the few that loved him.
What could he do now though?
You were dead.
He had killed you.
It was his fault.
It was all his fault.
It was all his fault.
It was all his fault.
It was all his fault.
It was-
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Whitty’s eyes snapped open as he hastily sucked in a gasp of air.
He laid there, motionless, greedily filling his lungs with the oxygen that his unconscious mind believed so strongly that he had been deprived of.
He could hear how shaky his breaths were despite the numbness, he was practically hyperventilating as he gave the ceiling a wide-eyed stare.
His form felt frozen in place as images from his dream flashed in front of his open eyes like a movie.
His stillness was disturbed only when you shifted beside him, he flinched, quite violently actually, as your head bumped into his arm.
The groan and words that came from you were his first indication that he shouldn’t have done that.
You were up.
Shit.
“Whitty..? Are you... mmph, are you alright?” You yawned as you propped yourself up in bed beside him, taking a moment to rub the sleep out of your eyes so you could look at him.
When you opened your eyes you saw that he had flinched back from laying down into a sitting up position. He was staring down at you, being the skyscraper that he was. Although there was only one thing that stood out to you, sobering you up from your sleep-drunk state.
“Y... y-yeah sorry I uh... didn’t mean to wake you u-”
“Wait, why are you crying?”
He paused, only now noticing the dark and warm trails that trickled down his face. He was quick to look away to try to wipe them out of existence, the concern on your face had only deepened when he looked back.
“It’s really nothing you... you don’t... don’t have to worry... about me... s-sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
He was a mess and couldn’t piece together a sentence to save his life at the moment but he hoped it would be at least slightly convincing.
He really shouldn’t have thought that.
You very clearly weren’t convinced as you gingerly took hold of his upper arms and guided him to you, leaning back and wrapping his arms around your body as you followed suit with your arms around him.
He wanted to protest, he wanted to further reassure you that he was fine and let you go back to sleep so you didn’t have to deal with his emotional baggage at three in the morning. When he looked up at your patient but distressed expression though, made contact with those eyes that told him that he wouldn’t be judged for whatever it was that had upset him... he just couldn’t hold it in.
It started with tears silently starting to flow again as he pressed his face into your abdomen to hide them, his body starting to tremble in your embrace. It didn’t take very long for him to break into choked sobs, gripping at the t-shirt you had worn to bed like it was his last lifeline.
“Oh Whitty... I’m here, everything’s alright...”
You had no idea what it was that had upset him yet, but the need to console him was intense and immediate. Your hands moved to the positions that had worked before, one on the back of his head and one on his back. Small circular motions were what you started with on his back, gently caressing his head with your other hand as you allowed him the time he needed to vent out his emotions.
This went on for around ten minutes. You didn’t really care, you weren’t watching the clock.
He had stopped crying within the first five, but it took another five minutes to regulate his breathing. Now he was breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, the way you had showed him to before when he needed help to calm down.
You continued to console him through actions, waiting to see if he would initiate the conversation you knew he was ready for now.
He turned his head to the side while still keeping his grip on your torso, he looked exhausted.
“...Y/n?”
You were glad you waited.
“Yes?”
“Do you ever think that I’m...”
You didn’t try to push him to finish his sentence, you knew he just needed a moment to get his words straight.
“...too dangerous to be around?”
You didn’t want to ask, you really didn’t, but you needed the context if you wanted to help him feel better.
“In what way?”
His expression soured as he glared at nothing from across the room.
“There’s a reason why there’s people after me, Y/n...”
Oh.
Oh.
He meant himself being who he was that dangerous.
Well that just wouldn’t do.
“Oh Whitty, why would I think that?”
“Because I fucking am!”
His sudden outburst didn’t frighten you, you had gotten used to them a long time ago.
“I’m unpredictable and can’t control myself sometimes! What will happen if you’re around me when I lose control? Human bodies can’t piece themselves back together Y/n!”
You kept silent as you took in everything he said, committing it all to memory since you knew that these were valid concerns and he needed to lay them all out if he wanted to address them.
“I love you... so damn much... but I’d rather be on the other side of the world if I knew that it would protect you from me!”
He moved to look up at you, the fear in his eyes was heartbreaking.
“I couldn’t... I couldn’t live with myself if I knew that it was me that... that killed you...”
There it was, the heavy statement that served as a queue for you to speak, you could see the anticipation in his eyes. It was peculiar actually, the look he held, it was like he was expecting you to agree with everything he just said and run or something...
You tightened your embrace around him to stamp that thought out of existence.
“You don’t give yourself enough credit, you know?”
“I... huh?”
“I’ve seen the amount of times that you’ve been close to losing it, I know how hard it can be to stay in control.”
He couldn’t hold contact with your eyes, the amount of pure love and care for him was overwhelming after all the fear and desperation that he had just given in return.
“But I’ve also seen how much better you’ve gotten at keeping control.”
That was a surprise to him, but you knew that he would know what you were talking about if you gave some examples.
“Remember the guy in the grocery store? You looked like you wanted to rip his head off, and I didn’t blame you.”
You chuckled at the memory of the guy that decided to try to argue why the two of you shouldn’t be together since you were human and he wasn’t. The man was frustrating and made no sense at all, but Whitty’s fuse didn’t even spark, he didn’t lose himself to anger. He gave the guy the sharpest glare he’s ever done, told him to ind his own damn business, and then lightly took your hand and continued on.
His show of restraint was impressive to say the very least.
“You’ve been getting really good with controlling yourself, and we’re still working on it too. I’m not scared of you and definitely don’t plan on going to the other side of the world.”
Your grin was infectious, he hated and loved how infectious your grin was as he tried to stifle the small smile working it’s way up onto his face.
“I’m so proud of how hard you’ve been trying to keep control of yourself, and I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”
He... he let himself smile after that.
“I don’t deserve you...”
“And you’re clearly overtired since you’re just saying nonsense now.”
He chuckled, it was hoarse and faint but it was a wonderful sound.
“Really though, let’s try and get you back to sleep, okay?”
He pushed himself up further on the bed and carefully intertwined his body with yours, breathing out a sigh as he buried his face in your hair.
“I love you...”
“I love you too.”
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sourholland · 3 years
Text
A Royal Convenience || Tom Holland
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| Series Masterlist |
Part Two
AN → You might all be wondering where I’ve been, I honestly just needed a bit of a break for my mental health! I’m sorry, I’ve missed taking to you all <3
Summary → When an alliance is made between England and France, you are sent away to marry the crown prince and heir to the British throne. Except both you and Prince Thomas despise each other at all odds, subjected to the hand of the monarchy and unable to stand each other.
Pairing(s) → Prince!Tom x Princess!Reader
Warnings → None
Word Count → 2.0k
“Could one of you run off and find out if my son is planning on gracing us all with his attendance.” Nicola’s voice was assertive, dripping with irritation at the Prince’s tardiness.
A man holding a closed box with an assortment of rings stood off to the side of the drawing-room. He was stiff, awkward even, in the presence of not only the Queen, but the Princess and future Queen of England. His eyes were trained on the freshly polished floors, clutching the velvet.
Behind you stood your newly introduced ladies in waiting, there were three: Lady Eloise, Lady Charlotte, and Lady Andrea. They were very young, pretty, and had very clearly come from aristocratic backgrounds. Each of them held a title, meaning they’d soon enough marry. You’d planned on meeting them for tea, but Queen Nicola figured it would be better to bring them in before you chose an engagement ring.
“Apologies, mum,” Tom came through the double doors, his hair skewed and his shirt disheveled. He bowed, taking a spot beside his mother and averting his eyes from you.
“Thomas, wonderful of you to join us,” she drawled. “Do begin, sir,” she said, motioning towards the man.
He opened the box a bit shakily, dozens of diamonds gleaming. They ranged from color to carrots of gold, each holding a different and more interesting background. You couldn’t help but to reach out and pick up one with a deep sapphire.
“That was once worn by the late Queen Elizabeth l,” he droned on, continuing to tell you about the long history of where the ring had come from and what it signified.
“What do you think, Thomas,” Nicola asked. She was practically beaming at each ring you slid onto your finger. Like no matter which one you chose, none would be the wrong choice.
“It is not I that will have to wear the dreadful thing,” he replied shortly. “Therefore, I should not be the person deciding which one she chooses, though I wish you’d quicken the pace a bit.”
“Since you’ve made it clear that you have no intention on weighing in on the decision, I ask you kindly, Prince Tom, to please refrain from commenting,” you quipped. He took a step back irritably, pulling at the collar of his undershirt.
You reached into the box once more, pulling out a large European cut diamond ring. The several diamonds displayed at the golden band left you lifting your hand, staring at your ring finger absentmindedly. It was classic, yet had too many diamonds to be considered simple. A royal staple, much like the tiara you’d eventually choose to wear on your wedding day.
“This one,” you said. “This is the one.”
The Queen drifted towards you, biting back excitement as she assessed the ring. It was clearly too large and would need to be sized, yet still had the same effect. She held it up as you had done, clutching your hand and motioning towards your ladies to come and look.
“That’s absolutely darling,” Charlotte mused.
“It’s stunning,” Andrea agreed.
The Prince soon enough took his leave, slipping out of the room before Nicola could notice his absence. She looked disappointed when she looked over and was met with an empty space where he’d just stood.
“He’ll come around soon enough,” she said, this was less reassuring to you and seemed more comforting for herself.
-
“Do tell me about yourself, Andrea,” you murmured on, arm in arm as you both perused the large gardens.
“Well there’s not much to know, miss,” she replied swiftly.
“Please, I wish you’d call me Y/N in private company,” you laughed a bit. “I’ve never had much of a thing for titles.”
“Her Majesty would simply chastise me.”
There were blooming flowers and the grass was slowly becoming more and more green. The air was a bit brisk, the cloak draped along your shoulders thinner than you’d like. The soft breeze felt nice, though. Andrea was simple looking, pulled back brown hair and a heart-shaped face. She explained that she was one of three girls, the third daughter of an earl.
“I must admit, I do wish we’d have met under different circumstances,” you mused, plucking a lily from the shrubs.
“I’m not sure what you mean, miss,” she looked over at you a bit sideways.
“I just mean—well under the circumstance that I wasn’t being pawned off on the Prince.”
You fumbled at your skirts for a moment, pressing at the fabrics of your afternoon dress. It was ivory, beautiful, really. Though, much different from anything you’d have worn in France.
“I’m sure His Royal Highness will be as pleased as everyone else once you are both wed.”
“That’s hard to believe,” you chuckled. “He has hardly said a word to me since I arrived in London.”
She looked nervous, like she was afraid to say the wrong thing. Her cheeks flushed lightly, the glint in her eyes a bit brighter. Andrea just looked over to you and gave a soft smile, as if to say everything would be alright.
“Do you think that Prince Thomas is handsome?” You asked, curious of her opinion. You watched her cheeks redden, an awkward laugh escaping her lips.
“That is not for me to judge, miss,” she answered almost immediately.
“No—but, I just want your opinion, do you think he is handsome?” You asked once again.
She hesitated for a moment, “yes, I think the Prince is certainly very handsome.”
You thought for a moment, of his brown hair that had been swept back and so carelessly skewed about earlier in the morning. The way his freckles scattered lightly across his nose like a constellation, you’d only known this from when he’d pulled you in so closely the night before. He wore his signet ring proudly, this amongst what looked like another ring with a crest on it.
“Yes, I suppose he is quite handsome. Though, if I’ve learned anything, it is that looks count for almost nothing when you’re forced to spend everyday with a person.”
-
The quiet clattering of silverware sounded throughout the large room, beside you sat Prince Tom. Down the table were the two older princes, assuming the youngest, Prince Patrick, was still too young. At the head of the table was King Dominic, at his right was Queen Nicola. Occupying the rest of the table was an assortment of dukes and duchesses, earls and ladies.
It had been too late to join everyone for dinner the night before, so tonight was the first time you’d been in everyone’s company. The room was large, grand even, gold trim and deep royal red walls filled with paintings dating back centuries. Candles burned while you ate, attempting to steal a glance at the Prince while he spoke with his brother Harry.
It had taken you weeks studying the British monarchy to completely grasp their political and traditional protocol. You had to learn who to curtsy to and who not to, and then in what order, how to determine the sovereign and whether or not to address someone with a title or not to.
“Tell us, Y/N, how are you finding England?” The Queen chimed, staring at you from her seat across the table.
“Well, ma’am—I haven’t seen much of it, I do hope to see more. It is far different from France, though.”
A quiet murmur spread across the table, “I’ve always found the French quite curious,” a duchess, whom you could not recall the name of, said lowly.
“Curiously dreadful,” Tom laughed to himself in a whisper you were sure only you could hear.
“I’m sorry?” You turned towards him, the sound of your cutlery against the plate louder than you’d liked. “I thought you said something, sir.”
The King looked up at you, the scornful way in which you looked at Tom, seething at his teasing words. You felt the heat in your face spread when you noticed an almost surprised look from a majority of the long and stretching table.
The rest of dinner you kept quiet, avoiding the looks from the prince at your side. He seemed quite bothered, you put your head down and braced yourself once the King stood. Once the King finished his meal, everyone else was finished as well. He stood soundly, the paleness of his skin off-putting, the deep purple crescents underneath his eyes prominent in the candlelight.
You stood with everyone else, retiring to your chambers in a fleeting moment once it was appropriate to get away. The long, narrow halls were ages older than you, the artwork clearly showing that. You recognized past monarchs, the kings and queens of the years earlier. The twists and turns reminded you of a labyrinth, easy to get lost in.
Once you reached the double doors to your chambers, you pulled at them quickly, shutting them behind you soundly and sinking against the wall. The room was still filled with burning candles, the servant at your vanity looking at you curiously.
She curtsied quickly, motioning you off of the floor in a maternal way. You said nothing, letting her help you slip out of the evening gown and undo the tight lacing of your corset. You breathed deeply as she slipped the white nightgown over your head and took down the silver pins from your hair.
“Are you alright, miss?” She asked, the look on her face a bit concerned.
“Yes, just tired,” you excused. “I can put myself to sleep, thank you.”
“Are you sure, miss? I really do not mind,” she trailed off as you waved her away laughing stiffly.
“I am sure, thank you, Anne.”
You stared at yourself in the mirror, brushing through your hair as you sat. Anne had long left, the doors shut tightly and the guards posted at them for the night, however, you turned quickly at the sound of them creeping open.
“How thick in the head must you be?”
Prince Thomas.
“You should not be in here,” you warned. “It’s bad enough to be caught alone in the daytime without a chaperone, but at night—in my bedroom!” Your tone was sharp, your arms wrapping around yourself. His eyes scanned your bare ankles, the curve of your legs underneath the thin material.
“You need not be concerned about your virtue, not after what you decided to pull at dinner tonight, before mother and father! I mean seriously, it’s like you enjoy humiliating yourself in front of the whole family!”
His cheeks were flushed in anger, his eyes fixed on you. You hair was undone, your eyes stuck on him. The silence was deafening, the space between the both of you closing when you stood up and marched over to him.
“I have been here a day. A day! And you cannot allow me the luxury of my own chambers, parading in here like you were not the one who provoked me!” You rammed a finger into his chest, gaze not faltering as you looked up at him.
“I told mother, I told father. You are nothing but a child, a little girl with no clue what she’s getting herself into,” you flinched at his voice.
“I will be your wife—”
“You will be the Queen of England!” He shouted, “the way you acted tonight was not that of a queen, but an eighteen year old girl in way over her head.”
He grabbed the hand that had jabbed into his chest, skewing it to the side. “Do not forget yourself, Y/N. I can promise you this, if you cannot at least act like you have any idea what you’re doing, this engagement is off. I will not tarnish the name of my country, nor title or reputation for a French princess that I had no desire to wed in the first place.”
taglist- @justapurrcat @witchyartemis @keithseabrook27 @clara-licht @dummiesshort @username2002 @imaginationisgrowth @nova-sup3r @jeyramarie @the-avengers-assembling @veryholland
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jihyuncompass · 3 years
Text
A Birthday Visit
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Well well well would you look at that. My very first Tears of Themis fic is for Marius’s birthday who could have guessed (anyone who knows me) Happy Birthday Marius, I can’t wait to see you again <3
For future reference, this fic was written for Marius’s 2021 birthday. As of yet Tears of Themis has not been released for the English audiences. I have played the beta but there is a chance Marius will be a little out of character as a result of the timing. 
Summary: You visit Marius’s work to celebrate his birthday with him, even if he’s a little busy 
Marius x MC
Word count: 2.1k
Warnings: N/A
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The PAX building was an intimidating one. That thought always came into your mind when you approached it. While the Law Firm was also one of the large skyscrapers that made up the Stellis skyline, the PAX building was taller, and quite the intimidating addition to said skyline. 
It wasn’t the first time you’d been here, far from it, but it was rare for you to go into PAX for a non professional reason, or without being explicitly invited by Marius. You looked up at the building, even without meaning to your eyes focused on the window you knew belonged to Marius’s office. There was a good chance he was in there right now. 
Adjusting your bag over your shoulder you walked through the doors and into the bustling first floor.  
You walked through the groups of professionally dressed employees standing to chat idly, or summarize the recent meetings they had. Or stop to enjoy their coffee for a little while before getting back to work. 
“Welcome to the PAX group.” One of the receptionists started as you walked to the desk. “How can I help you today?” You cleared your throat, speaking as eloquently as you can. 
“Hello, I’m here to see Mr. Von Hagen? I’m a friend.” You said to the receptionist. She raised an eyebrow and looked up at you. Scrutinizing your appearance.  
“I’m sorry, Mr. Von Hagen doesn’t see anyone without a meeting.” You pressed your lips together, 
“I can promise you he’s a good friend of mine, it’s his birthday and-” 
“I’m sorry I have no way to verify that you are who you say you are.” The receptionist said. You reviewed your options in your head, clearly she wasn't going to let you go up there on the promise of being a friend. 
After a moment of brainstorming an idea came to you, digging through your bag you showed the receptionist your work ID badge, listing you as a lawyer for the Themis Law Firm. 
“I’m also Mr. Von Hagen’s personal lawyer, he knows who I am.” The receptionist squinted at the ID, hesitant of it’s quality and authenticity. After typing at her computer briefly she sighed and relented. 
“Aright, I do see your name here. I’ll let you up there and I’ll give a call to Mr. Von Hagen’s assistant to let them know you’re here.” You thanked her and hurried to the elevator. The first challenge was dealt with, now it was just time to go through with the rest of the plan.  
You piled into the elevator with a group of suited men heading to what you assumed were their own desks and offices throughout the building, but you’d be one of the only people going as far up, to nearly the top floor where Marius’s office would be found. 
The elevator was nearly empty by the time you made it up, only a few people exiting with you. 
One of Marius’s assistants was waiting for you on the other side of the elevator. They greeted you as you approached them. 
“Good afternoon.” They said. “I’m afraid to say that Mr. Von Hagen has been stuck in meetings all day so I’m not sure if he’ll be able to see you.” 
You pressed your lips together, you should have asked him in advance, he was usually busier than he always let on. 
“Well I just have a couple things I want to show him, I’m happy to wait for when he has a spare moment.” The assistant seemed unsure but shrugged. 
“Very well, I’ll take you to his office, you can wait there. I’ll let him know that you’re there.” You followed the assistant down the long hallway to the office at the end, the largest by far, belonging to Marius. 
The assistant closed the door behind you, the office was neat and tidy as it always was. Although it was Marius’s office, you were always a little disappointed by just how little of Marius seemed to be in the office. The sleek professional furniture, the carefully organized files, cup full of standard ballpoint pens didn’t seem like Marius. The rebellious, creative and playful Marius you knew well and had grown to adore. 
Sitting on the couch in his office you decided to make use of your time by setting the present you’d gotten him out on the table, along with the small cake box. With your job and caseload you hadn’t had the time to make a particularly fancy or intricate cake. But something small the two of you could easily share.  
You hummed to yourself gently as you got everything set up. Your eyes focused on the work in front of you. So much so you didn’t even notice as the office doors opened while your back was turned. 
“So.” A voice said from behind you. The sudden noise startled you, making you jump. Quickly turning around you were face to face with Marius. Dressed with a full suit, although he had that playful gaze he kept around you. Seeing him, your shoulders relaxed, and a smile crossed your face. “I heard you wanted to see me.” 
“I hoped I could catch you for a minute for your birthday.” You explained to him. “I should have asked about your schedule, I wouldn’t have come if I knew you were so busy.” Marius shook his head. 
“Nah I’m glad you’re here. It’s a perfect surprise.” Marius looked past you and to the table behind you where everything was set up. His eyes lighting up with that almost childlike excitement he got. However that excitement was quickly clouded. 
You frowned. “You don’t have a lot of time huh?”
Marius hesitated to answer you. “I don’t have a lot of time, I have a meeting in a half hour.” 
As you looked from Marius to the table you straighten your back and beamed at him. “Well then let’s make this a fun half hour! Enjoy the time we have.” With this the playfulness returned. The Marius you loved to see. 
Sitting beside one another, you made quick work of slicing the cake into two even slices for the two of you. 
“I’m afraid it’s nothing fancy.” You said. “But I have no doubt it tastes good and that’s what matters, doesn't it?” 
“Did you make it?” Marius asked, a brow raised curiously. 
“I did, I’m not a baker though so be warned.” Marius picked up the fork, picking up the perfect bite of cake to get both the cake and the frosting on top. Watching him closely you made note of his reaction. “What do you think?”
Marius nodded. “It’s good, I think I would even say I’m impressed.” You relaxed against the couch. 
“I’m glad you like it.” You said. “I was worried it wasn’t going to be very good.” You took a bite to taste it yourself, the sweetness of the cake hitting your tongue immediately. You’d had better cakes, but still you couldn’t deny the little part of you that was proud of what you’d made. 
Not wanting to waste your time you quickly leaned forward to push some presents closer. This seemed to grab Marius’s attention away from the cake in his hand. He set it down to pick up one of the gifts, looking over the basic wrapping paper. 
“Go ahead.” You encouraged. “Open it up! Take a look.”  Marius stared with the smallest one, quickly tearing off the paper without much thought. He pulled out two tickets, reading the tiny text on them. “They’re for an upcoming art exhibition I read about online, I thought it’d be fun to go together. I don’t know nearly as much about art as you do but maybe you could teach me some stuff.” 
Marius smirked. “I guess I could spare some of my expansive art knowledge to impart some on you.” 
Holding back from rolling your eyes instead you gave him your best genuine smile. “I would love that. I’d love to learn from you.” Marius seemed pleased by this, as evidenced by the redness that quickly started growing on his face. Looking back at the gift he tried to get himself back under control. 
Similar to the first gift Marius tore the wrapping paper off the second one. This one, a hand held sketchbook, bound nicely with a leather cover, his initials MVH put onto the front. A small note you’d written scribbled onto the first page. 
“This is-”
“Well, you’re always working so hard here, or studying hard at university, and I know you would probably much prefer to be in your studio painting. So, that’s a little sketchbook, one you can carry anywhere.” Flipping through the pages, Marius’s expression turned soft, warm, happy, not holding that playful spark. “I know you probably could afford any notebook in the world, but this one is customized just for you, not another one of these exists just like it.” 
The softness in his face stayed even when he looked up at you, even when he looked down again. 
“Thank you, for this.” He held it carefully in his hands, as if he was afraid of damaging it too soon. Before he could even put pencil to paper for the first time. There were still a couple gifts left, but you let him linger on that one. Trying to memorize every single second in your mind. 
The rest of the gifts were more basic things, special sweets, some art supplies you’d seen when you passed by the art store on your way home. Despite how basic many of these smaller gifts were, he never seemed ungrateful, and equally happy to see each one. 
All the presents unwrapped, and cake nearly finished you both sat together happily. Looking at Marius with the initial excitement wearing off you started to see the exhaustion peeking through. The heaviness in his eyes, the way his shoulders were stiff yet slumped. He looked tired, worn out already. 
“Your assistant said you’ve been in meetings all day?” 
Marius rubbed his eyes. “Yeah, PAX has a big thing coming up. I’ve been in meetings since eight. This is the first break I’ve had all day.” As he spoke he loosened his tie, letting it release some of the tension in his shoulders and neck. 
“You look exhausted.” You said. He sighed and closed his eyes for a few seconds. “Have you been resting?” 
Marius’s eyes opened again. “I was at my studio late last night. But I’m fine.” 
You looked more concerned, you doubted he was really resting enough. With everything he did, there was no possible way he was letting himself take breaks. Even on his birthday he seemed to be working full steam ahead. 
“Marius, why don’t you lay down for a bit? Let yourself rest?” Marius looked over at you, as if he was trying to think through it, crunching the numbers in his head. Gently touching his shoulder you turned him to face you, his eyes raised to look at your face. You loosened up his tie some more and unbuttoned the top button on his dress shirt to let him relax. 
 “Come on.” You said in a soft voice. “Rest for a little bit.” 
He considered this for a little while longer. Then let long a long sigh, he let himself lean forward enough to rest his forehead against your shoulder. Reaching up you rubbed his back, gently massaging to let him relax against you. 
“I can’t rest for long.” Marius muttered. “There’s that meeting-”
“Something is better than nothing.” You reminded him. “How about you lie down? You can rest with me until your meeting.” He was still for a little while longer, then lifted his head long enough to move. 
Marius’s head was laying in your lap. You gently played with his hair, running your fingers through the strands. Marius’s eyes slipped closed, his breaths long and even. 
“My meeting-” 
“I’ll get you up when it’s time. Rest right now.” You told him. He sighed and let himself fully rest. 
“Thank you.” He muttered. 
“Happy birthday Marius.” You whispered to him. Watching him rest, you couldn’t help but smile. This moment was going to be over sooner than later, soon he’d have to get up and get himself cleaned up, he’d go to that meeting, and then the next one and the next one until he could call it a day. He’ll probably go to his studio again, even if he’s exhausted. He’ll try and get some rest, but eventually he’ll get up and start it all again. 
But right now he’s with you and resting. Enjoying the short break he could afford. Maybe not the best birthday one could have, but one that was more than happy. 
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