#I'M VERY PERFECTIONIST OKAY :D

[rotbtd-edits]

Things about me: I actually have several sets of edits in my drafts here already, but because the sets don't look aesthetically Right™ to me I have to edit more pics to balance out, and then it takes more time 😅

[my-plastic-life]

I did a thing... actually, I did several things. :D My ani-ME (anime doll version) needed manga in her house, so of course I had to make mini Inuyasha manga! I've done this before, but this time it's different... I didn't do miniature versions of the Viz BIG volumes. Nope, I did all 56 original Japanese volumes. Because ani-ME is in Japan, so she must have the original volumes!!! :D What a task this was - because the volumes are so old, it's hard to find high resolution pictures of them online. And even if you do, many times it's just the front, not the back and definitely not the spine. I found some, but then the front and back cover colors were completely different, some had text and graphics cut off from what was most likely a scanned image, the colors were inconsistent between various websites, some colors were clashing badly due to low quality resolution, etc.

So I literally made a template in Photoshop of the real size of the original manga (obtained via Amazon) and rebuilt EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. from scratch. I was able to find a site with all the original cover photos, and then I found the most high resolution cover I could find to duplicate the pattern that's on all books (colors vary), recreated the logo for each book (the character symbols and the gradients are all different for each volume), redrew the SS Comics logo that's on all books, and I even replicated each individual barcode. Because I'm nothing if not a consistent perfectionist. :D

For the backs, I used the images I found and just copied and pasted the characters and Japanese text, and for the teeny tiny characters I used the brush tool to trace over them. Even though I knew you probably wouldn't be able to see them in such a small scale, no way was I leaving them out! Consistency, darn it! :D

For the spines, I found complete sets on eBay and used a photo of the spines from those auctions as a template. I redid everything on the spine except the character head at the top of each, which is copied and pasted from the eBay files. They're definitely pretty low resolution, but hopefully it's not noticeable at such a small scale.

And the volume numbers? Try as I might, I could NOT find a font that matched them. So I got the most high resolution volumes I could find and made number templates... so each time I needed one of the volume numbers, I'd just use a color overlay on it and plop it where it needed to go on the front and spine.

Then the fun part - resizing them all to 1/6 scale. They're a little over an inch tall right now. And because they're not very thick in the spine, wrapping the covers around foam board to mimic pages wasn't working. So I had to make pages... for 56 volumes LOL. I just took my cover template, sized it down, and made it a blank white with a black stroke so I could see where to cut. I could fit 11 mini pages in one row across a regular sized sheet of printer paper (I used cardstock for extra thickness and stability), and I could fit like six rows on a sheet. I was able to fit 11 pages in one volume to allow the spine room, so 56 volumes x 11 mini pages each = 616 total pages I wound up cutting, then stacking and gluing together. But, of course, that wasn't a perfect fit, as the pages, despite being sanded down to be completely straight and smooth, poked out of the covers. So I had to wrap the covers around the pages, mark where they hit, and use an X-acto knife to trim the pages down before gluing them inside the covers.

But finally, I was done! It was time-consuming, but I love how these little books turned out. They don't open, but that's totally okay. That would be way too much work, and every time I make a book that opens, it never closes again. I did, however, manage to find some pages from the original first volume (in Japanese), so I printed a second volume 1 cover and glued those pages inside. So now ani-ME has an open book she can read too!

So there you have it! My mini, 1/6 scale Japanese volumes of Inuyasha - all 56 of them! I made that bookshelf just for them, but I intentionally left more room in case I want to add more manga later. But of course we had to have Inuyasha manga on the shelf - it's the most important! :D And the poster on the wall is totally a tag from one of my shirts LOL.

Showing off her new bookshelf stocked full of all 56 volumes of the Inuyasha manga:

Relaxing in bed, reading from the beginning:

Why yes, she is reading the Inuyasha manga on an Inuyasha pillow :D

All 56 volumes on the bookshelf:

What do you do with an Inuyasha shirt tag? Make an instant doll poster, of course!

Front covers:

Back covers:

Volume 1 pages (glued in order, right to left):

Size reference (shown with American penny):

[faint-kitten]

FK infodumping about Tony Stark in Midnight Suns (spoilers)

Tony.

Tony.

TONY.

Tony stark cannot stop being Tony in this fucking game. ||I taught him magic and his first instinct is to patent it and fucking sell it, and nepo hire me in to run the R&D Division.

I love this run of Tony Stark, because it's very much: Yeah he's a billionaire, he's trying, I know you're trying tony, and you don't get it. Everyone tolerates/likes him because they know he's trying and thinks he means well.

But he's a fucking billionaire. He's like when rich people just want's to be a little guy, hey I'm just a little guy like you! And then he just moves in and he's the worst.

Robbie and Peter start Shop because they want a place where they can get creative together without Know it all perfectionists leaning over their shoulders (Strange and Tony) and tony invites himself in, and proceeds to just run the little guys out because HE feels anxious and HE needs to feel like he's doing something. When you call him out, when Robbie calls out how he bought up a steel mill in his home town and just ruined everyone's jobs there because he never broke ground: Tony reveals he was in a pissing match with Oscorp, he bought it to beat oscorp, then found out the company was going under anyway and decided to cut his losses, and turn it into a PR spin. He fucking didn't know because it made his numbers go up, and everyone cheered, then he had a drink, and fucked off and assumed it would all be okay. He then apologizes saying he's trying to make up for it. This is AFTER telling Robbie and Peter that he liked making things as a kid and no one understood him and that's why he wants to be there. After literally being like: "pfft I can do this better, how hard could it be."

He joins the Midnight Suns and IMMEDIATELY takes over operations and muscles out Blade and Nico and Magik and robbie for control of day to day operations.

He's a fucking big rich prick, who just comes in and fucks it up without thinking about the little guys. He's so up his fucking ass.

There's so many little moments where they charactarize him as a rich guy who's just out of touch with normal ass people. It's so perfect. He can't process the world like everyone else, he can't imagine how they feel because he's so fucking rich and out of it, he can't fucking stop himself from just DOING Billionare shit.

We taught him how to do a little mysticism and he's like: "new department! new products! It's gonna be big. We'll sell it and you're gonna run it." Like, that's not why the Hunter taught you Magic. We didn't teach you magic for capitalism, we taught you because it's what we're fighting, we taught you because you're scared in a spooky house and you said you just wanted to understand, we fucking taught you because you had a mind and wanted to expand it, and were too embarressed to ask Doctor Strange. We taught you because for a BRIEF second you were a human being, and we wanted to help you and be your friend.

Like TONY we're trying to save the fucking world here. Magik invited me to limbo and I helped her with her trauma and she called me her friend. Robbie offered to let me crash on his couch, and meet his brother and hang out with him and Peter. Doctor Strange is learning to get over himself, and realize he's still worth something even if he isn't all knowing and all powerful. Blade and I discuss dealing with our darker halves and urges and made a pact to kill each other if we ever go bad, and he's trying to teach me there's more to life than "The hunt" the caretaker has drilled into my head.

Your idea of 'we're friends now' is making me head of a fucking department. Talking about taking what the Hunter taught you, and turning it into a project, a product, one of HUNDREDS of new ventures he can just piss money away on, get all excited about. One of hundreds of ventures he shits out a week in his excitement and like Peter fucking Molynuex you're pitching it and who fucking knows if it will actually go anywhere?

I love this game's approach to Tony even as it makes me hate him. Like what a way to sympathize with a human being, while also illustrating why rich people can't fundamentally be our friends. ||

The approach of: what if a Billionaire was sympathetic? He's just a little guy trying to do his best to undo his father's legacy, and he doesn't MEAN to hurt everyone's feelings step on the little guy and make billions. Can't you see he's trying soooo hard?

And the game's response is: "Great backstory, you're still a Billionaire."

Even if you turn him down and tell him that's not what magic is for he goes "Np I never take no for an answer :) " Like stop. You're the worst. (for the record, I am praising the game's take on tony, I think the writing, and acting, and themes they're working with are perfectly executed.)

[just-jae]

Hazbin Hoetl 5-6

Spoiler warning!

Not gonna lie, at first I was cringing a bit at Lucifer. I was expecting him the have, like, grace and baddie energy. but he's talking to himself pretending to show off rubber ducks to a crowd.

And of all the potential dynamics he and Al could have had, competing father figures was NOT on my mind at all dude. Al? Dad?

But, I watched these last two episodes a couple (okay maybe several) times over and, it's really growing on me. It was definitely the predeveloped impressions getting in the way of really enjoying these characters. Even the irks I had about Alastor aren't really irks anymore, especially with "Dad beat Dad having much better animation and a banger number for Al (seriously wtf he's horrific in this episode)--

"Could you butt out of my song?"

"Your song? I started this!"

"I'm singing it, I'll finish it!"

Before, I was seeing it as how well they pull off my (and arguably the long simmering fandom's) idea of these characters instead of how well the characters as they actually are are told. So many people thought this show would be a super serious deep dive on Christianity and commentary on religion itself. But at this point, it really feels like Heavan and Hell are metaphores. They focus a lot more on personal issues like relationships, coping mechanisms, flaws like nievety, displaced senses of self worth, etc.

Charlie's idea of what "gets people into heaven" is naive and brochure-like. Adam gave a literal list of three items that seemed overly simplistic (and turned out to be wrong).

But at least they had some idea about it. The higher angels themselves had no clue whatsoever, their only concern was preserving the status quo. And even when things are called to question they fall back to old ways just bc they're scared to change anything. Sera didn't have any malice toward Hell, she just doesn't want to make things worse, having Angels fall, have Hell attack Earth or Heaven, have more evil spread, by changing things.

Getting a better idea of what all of this is about makes it so much easier to appreciate things I initially was put off by. It just has a context that it fits into now.

Lucifer being this disillusioned depressed dork with "yeaaaah, No." energy fits into what we've seen of heavenly culture (uncanny innocence, annoying teen pop-culture energy, being perfectionist yet blind to their own flaws)

And The "Hell's Great Dad" song really broke the ice, especially when Mimzy busted in singing ITS MEEEEEEE-- like

Love her. I wasn't expecting to see Mimzy AT ALL since she was removed from the main cast. And after seeing people talk about her and how they were wondering about her, it definitely felt like popping in the way she did was a response to that. Even I was wondering bc you don't just drop a former love interest for a character like Alastor, but still have them show up in the pilot-- I wanted to see Mimzy lol.

like literally:

"It's MEEE, It's MEEE,

I know you were all waiting for MEEEE!

I'm Here, what a GAAAS,

Took a while but I'm here at LAAST"

Like, im sorry but I felt like she was pointing at me personally, not the other characters, and that was hilarious.

It's so random but doesn't feel out of place at all somehow. The tensions were already super high, so a random screaming woman busting in with even higher energy is like-- wtf?? :'D??

She was a blast the entire time tho, and actually tied into the reoccurring theme of only reaching out to someone so they can do something for you.

It also definitely pinched a side of Alastor, irritating that he does apparently NEED to be there, there's some obligation he actually has to the hotel, or at the very least some stakes to not holding things together, not bc he defended the hotel but bc he specifically says "I can't have that here" , he also doesn't refute the claims Mimzy makes about him. Al clearly adores her and isn't surprised by her antics at all yet still tells her to leave. With the mention of Alastor's "leash" in the same episode BC of Mimzy was just such a great way to use her character. A fun entrance, thematic relevance, and a great plot device to reveal more about Alastor's situation and motives.

Like I said, at first the food tasted cold. I was thinking to myself "Eh, nothing really that crazy ig" but the more I watch the episodes and get over whatever my expectations were, the more I enjoy what's there.

Like, at first I was thinking, "Oh no Lucy's another akward dork, a normie, a loooooserr" (not that being an akward dork or a normie is bad but those were the vibes I was giving off, I'm sorry)

But I keep watching "Hell's Greatest Dad" and NOW it's like

LOOK AT HIM< LOOK AT HIM GO

Like, he's fugghing adorable with the "WAP BAP BOOM"

the puppets and the circus imagery, and just the innocent unmalicious enthusiasm. He's stumbling around over barely knowing his daughter and is now sprinting to make up for being so absent-- and even that absence is implied to be due to chronic depression and pining, missing heaven and having to live in hell forever, not only being the one who supposedly created it by accident, but tried and failed to fix it, even having his own theme park ripped off by a deadly Sin. The show calls it out bluntly, but despite his cheery tone and, yeaaah, no, yeaaah, no" attitude, they did a great job showing that his depression manifested in detachment and disinterest. It sucks for the people it effects but it also sucks to be the one who dropped the ropes in your relationships.

So seeing him brjghtenup and glow over just helping his Charlie put her hotel together was great. He feels useful and wanted again. And imo it's a double edge sword as well if Lucy feels like he has to be useful to be a decent dad.

So, idk. I guess I do want to see how he handles trying to be in Charlie's life again, especially since, at this point Alastor knows and has supported her more than he ever has-- despite the rough beginning and the mockery. (Also Lilith's face being faded out was sus af)

I'm convinced that in Al's case it's definitely not from a genuine place, at least, we still have no reason to believe it is. He was glaring at Lucy as soon as he walked in, and the nearly every comment on how great his relationship with Charlie is was also a jab to piss off Lucy instead of a genuine expression.

A performance, in short.

Still, the fact that someone who's only just met Charlie has a better relationship with her than her father has got to suck to realize if you're the father.

Also-- the scene at the club-- I was pretty mixed about it, like, doing drugs, itself isn't bad-- it can be unhealthy and it can put others at risk if you're resigning your cognizance and self control for the sake of coping with stress-- so it can very easily enable bad things, especially if you become addicted, so,imo is pretty wreckless and definitely a vice. But it doesn't make you a bad person.

But then again angels also seem to think premarital sex and promiscuity is bad too. (Promiscuity puts you at risk for disease, and like drugs can be driven by vices, but, again, the thing itself isn't bad and can still be a healthy practice when it comes from a healthy place)

I'm genuinely proud of Angel for actually growing though, seeing him take care of Nifty and protect her from Val got me on the "Fuck em up" energy. It's always great to see a group of friends watching out for eachother when they know there's a danger to what they're doing-- ESPECIALLY when one of them is new to it all. That's why if you ARE going to do drugs or drink or whatever, definitely don't do it alone or without someone you trust with your safety.

And also never feel like you have to do those things to maintain relationships, some people feel like it would be an insult to imply they dont trust someone or just for being disinterested in their offer. And, frankly there are people who will prey on that.

That was just a great scene. It had some flaws, but was still great.

Also--

PENTIOUS

I HATE

BROTHERMAN MADE ALL THE MISTAKES.

"Bc I'M HAVING SEX WITH EVERY--"

THATS NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY YOU FUCK

Also, not gonna lie but Sera's got me like

Its been a while since I've been down bad for a femenine character.

She is beauty, she is grace~

[spitdrunken]

WOAAHHH!! happy 800 spitdrunken!! :D could you write prompt 62 with rollo? :3 you're my fav dark content writer <33 (I'm really excited to read your rollo longfic btw!)

- Shiver anon

shiver sorry that you had to wait so long for this LMAO progress on my rollo fic is slow, but steady! i'm still actively working on it, it's just long (compared to my usual) and i'm a perfectionist HAHA

PROMPT 63 - SEX POLLEN notes: very dubious consent, weird but mild plantfuckery (tentacle-like vines and well. a REASON it uses sex pollen), outdoor sex

The City of Flowers is famous for hosting many flowers that would wither anywhere else in Twisted Wonderland.

Your boyfriend Rollo is fond of the plants that have given his city her name, and his desire to show them to you evolved into frequent walks around the border of the city.

This morning, it was an outing like any other, but then... You can't quite remember. You can't remember much of anything, like where you are, when exactly the two of you had become naked, and what these things, slimy but warm, slithering over your legs are. All you know is that your head is heavy, your body is warm, and Rollo is so, so pretty. All of your questions fade in front of your desire.

Maybe it's almost mean how horny you get over how disheveled Rollo looks, but he's always so well put together, prim and proper, that this feels like the treat of a lifetime. Even though you've had sex with him, he's never lost his composure quite like this. Your mouth stretches into a lopsided grin as you look at him.

His pale cheeks are lit with a flush so bright it seems like he has a fever, and a steady stream of pants leave through his parted lips. His glossy eyes are clouded over, pupils so large that they seem like black pools. Somehow, before ending up here, his hair has gotten messier than you've ever seen it.

Rollo audibly swallows as his cock twitches against your thigh. His whole body trembles. "I do not-" He breathes out the word. "I do not know what is happening, I-" His hips twitch forward, and he leaves a smear of precum on the flesh of your thigh. "Forgive me for being as filthy as this..."

He takes the smallest, trembling step backwards, and you put a hand on his shoulder. Your entire body is throbbing with need, a feverish heat coursing through your veins. Whatever it is what you were hit though, Rollo got the worse of it.

"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay-" You babble out a string of nonsense. Then, you gather enough of your thoughts to get out a single coherent sentence. "I only won't forgive you if you don't touch me right now." You laugh, and it sounds strange to your ears.

You lean forward, though it's more like stumbling, and wrap both of your arms around him. You try to kiss him. But your movements are so sluggish and difficult, your head so heavy on your shoulders, that you somehow end up lapping at his lips instead of locking them together.

Rollo lets out an almost high-pitched, needy sound, and lets his full weight rest against you as he swirls his tongue around yours. Your saliva mixes together and drips down both of your chins. After your approval, he's started rutting against you.

You need to have him inside you.

You reach down to grab his cock, and try to guide him towards your dripping hole. As soon as your palm rubs against the head of his cock, Rollo lets out of a choked sob. His cum coats the inside of your hand, and slides down to your wrist. His cock doesn't soften in the slightest, and though he grits his teeth at the newfound sensitivity, his hips keep moving forward.

The air turns absolutely saccharine, and your muscles relax even further. Vines(?) slither up your thighs. Only the thought that this should feel weird to you occurs in your mind, but you're not actually worried. They wrap around Rollo's cock. You feel him twitch and writhe against you as his cock slips inside of you, though you might be the one shaking as well.

Because as soon as he enters you, it feels as if all the nerves in your bodies are set alight at once. You gasp for breath, your eyes going wide. Pleasure washes over you, your legs turning boneless. Rollo and you collapse into a heap of intertwined limbs, but never hit the ground underneath you, instead hovering ever so slightly above it, rocking back and forth with every movement.

You want to speak, to say something, anything, yet find your tongue too heave to move. Rollo doesn't as much as thrust into you, than the grinds with quick jittery motions. He never pulls himself out completely. It's only little bits, as if your insides are such a warm, welcoming embrace that he couldn't bear to leave it. It doesn't matter to you either way. Every single movements makes your brain melt further inside of your skull.

There is nothing for Rollo to lean on except for your body. He buries his head into the crook of your neck, drooling against your skin. Rollo's speaking, you can tell from the way his throat vibrates against you, but you can't focus long enough to make out anything more than warm and good and love.

(There is a voice in the back of your head, one that does not quite carry your tone, that tells you it would be so easy to stay here and do nothing else and feel good, forever and ever and ever, and offer all of your energy, right here and now.)

But he bottoms out inside of you again, and even that slips from your mind.

[charmwasjess]

For the character ask game — Dooku 2, 5, 23! aaand Rael 2, 12, 20, 25!

I'm breaking this ask up into two posts since you were SO, so generous as to give me lots of fun things to talk about!!! :D ❤️ I'm starting with Rael, since he has absolutely become one of my favorite Jedi characters and I want to tell you why.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

SO MANY THINGS!

I love that literally the first thing he does the very minute he’s introduced is bearhug Dooku. I love that he treats Qui-Gon like a little brother and teaches him to swim. I love that he’s the most overt, direct example of Jedi lineage and Master + Padawan relationships being a family analogue. Not that others aren’t, but the way he outright says it, no metaphors or beating around the bush: Masters LOVE their Padawans, Padawans love their Master. It’s not training, it’s raising. 

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

My favorite is that Rael and Dooku’s early relationship as Master and apprentice was awful. Dooku is, like, this incredibly high strung, anxious perfectionist who is still almost a teenager when he takes on Rael, and has no idea what he’s doing. Meanwhile, Rael is a problem child who knows more curse words than Dooku does, is a LOT meaner, and mouths off to him constantly because it’s funny. Who even is this stuck-up knowitall who is probably just waiting for him to fail like everyone else?

Then one really bad day, in a string of bad days, Rael pushes Dooku too far, and he just… snaps. No, no lightning or shouting. Those big brown eyes slowly fill up with tears and he hurls himself in the refresher and locks the door. Rael knows he’s crying in there; he can hear him. They’re both appalled. 

After that, their relationship becomes the genuinely loving, affectionate one we see in the books. One, because Rael knows Dooku is actually human in there. And two, because he knows how deeply he actually cares about making him into the best Jedi and how desperately invested he is in his success.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Rael and Anakin, if they didn’t immediately get into a fist fight, would be amazing. Anakin loves Qui-Gon, okay, meet Qui-Gon’s cool big brother. And since Rael was the oldest kid they accepted into the Order before Anakin (came in at age 5) and has had issues integrating with the Jedi, he could give him some real big lineage brother advice.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I was furious about him at first. He takes the place of Qui-Gon as Dooku’s first Padawan in old canon, and “clueless baby Dooku training Qui-Gon who is almost old enough to be his peer instead of his student” dynamic used to be my bread and butter. So initially, i was pretty put off that now that role is taken by some kind of weird cowboy talking asshole?!

Now, I love it. I’m so here for it. I’ll always love the old version, but I really like this too. He and Dooku are such opposites and it just works. And I love this pattern, between Rael, Sifo-Dyas, and Yoda, of Dooku being this formal, reserved person and the people he’s the closest to are complete playful, deeply affectionate goofballs.

Rael's just a wonderful character. Loving, flawed, complicated, strangely emotionally in tune for this lineage, and he fucks.

[mysticstarlightduck]

Hey, I know that ask game! :D

🐹 Which would be your OCs favorite Pokemon? What kind of trainer would they be?

🌊 Has your OC ever seen the ocean? If not, do they want to? What do they think of it?

Yay, thanks for the ask, @i-can-even-burn-salad!!! (:

🐹 Which would be your OCs favorite Pokemon? What kind of trainer would they be?

Whoa, okay, such a cool question! I haven't watched anything pokémon related in years (though it was one of my favorite card games when I was a kid) but after a quick research to refresh my memory my answer is this (for some of the main cast of Of Starlight and Beasts):

Corah - her favorite pokémon would be Charmander. Because it looks cute and derpy in a way, like a little dragon, and she'd find the flaming tail a cool detail. She'd be a reliable, if unorthodox, trainer - she'd always be kind to her pokémon but also expect them to always try their best.

Arammys - I'm 100% sure his favorite pokémon would be Pikachu. The little pokémon is bright yellow, electric, and happy, Arammys literally has a whole sunlight motif and is very energetic - he'd really like Pikachu. He'd be a happy-go-lucky trainer that would probably spend more of his time playing with the pokémons or getting distracted by lore books about them rather than doing any actual training.

Eidan - his favorite pokémon would be Arbok. He likes snakes and reptiles in general, and would probably think Arbok has a pretty neat design (plus I just think he'd find its "hunting style" rather fascinating). He'd be the kind of trainer who doesn't really talk to many people and just kinda does his own thing - he'd have the kind of vibe of that emo kid that no one ever really sees do any homework or seem to put in much effort but also always gets As on the test every time.

Tomasa - her favorite pokémon would probably be Parasect, though she'd be adamantly sure that it looks more like a crab than a mushroom-bug thingy. The reason why I think it'd be her favorite is because she'd see it and be like "Aw, look at this skrunkly lil guy!". She'd be a supportive trainer with a tendency to be overly enthusiastic and will constantly have to be reminded not to use her pokémons to cause chaos around town.

Kyran - he'd never admit it, like, not ever, but his favorite pokémon would be Doduo or Dodrio, even if he would pretend not to like pokémon at all. Mostly because he likes birds and because he also has a twin, even if they annoy each other all the time. If he were a trainer he'd be the stern and demandingly perfectionist kind that always expects his pokémon "students" to excel at everything.

🌊 Has your OC ever seen the ocean? If not, do they want to? What do they think of it?

Most of the main cast of my WIP "Of Starlight and Beasts" does see the ocean during their adventures because, during their quest, one of the cities they go through is Orloch, the realms' coastal jewel, where a lot of important events of the story's development take place.

But if we consider the events before that, then the ones who had already seen the ocean (before the events of the book) are Kyran, Masen, Elias, Tomasa, Eidan, and Rin.

Kyran, Masen, and Elias were born in a town on the outskirts of Orloch and grew up in its capital. Most of their lives were surrounded by the sea in one way or another - not only for the fact that well, the sea can literally be seen by almost any place in the city, but also because most of their early jobs and occupations had something to do with the ships and docks of the kingdom, especially after Elias's became a pirate in their backstory. They like the ocean - in varying degrees of intensity, but since it's such a common thing in their past and daily lives, it is not such a big deal to them as it would be for other people who never saw it - to them, it's more mundane than anything else.

Tomasa was born in a village somewhere in the wilderness next to the Frosts but moved to Orloch - where her grandmothers live and where her maternal family was settled - with her mother when she was a child. So it could be said she has already seen two kinds of oceans before - the frozen seas of the Frosts, miles, and miles of beautiful crystal blue ice that never breaks (even the waves frozen and immobile forever), and the actual/regular ocean in Orloch. She was amazed by the sight of the sea, and everything about it - as she'd only seen a frozen one in her childhood. Being able to swim in the ocean became one of her favorite activities. She still holds a lot of admiration and wonder for the seas and its mysteries, even after all those years of living in a coastal city.

Eidan didn't see the sea until the fall of Monbern's old royal family. Most of his childhood and teen years were spent in that duchy, which is landlocked (and built in the middle of an enchanted forest), so the largest bodies of water he'd seen so far were just lakes and rivers. After the events of the duchy's siege (where he lost everything), he became a lonely warrior seeking to purge the wicked rot of corruption that was consuming the realm - something that led him to travel far and wide across the continent to hunt down evil people and their work. One of those travels led him to Orloch a few years before the book - which is very relevant for the story since it is one of his contacts in the city that allows him and his allies (during their main quest) to find some crucial information. He doesn't really see what "the big deal" is about the sea, or why people are so mesmerized by it, and it is implied that he doesn't really like swimming (even though he knows how to) and has some degree of thalassophobia.

I can't say much about Rin's backstory without spoiling some reveals about him and a certain other character's past, but let's just say that he has indeed seen the sea before since, as a con artist, he's always looking to get more gold, and what better place than the melting pot of trade (legal and... less legal) in the realm to try his luck? Regardless of that, he has some very strong feelings about the sea, mostly negative, because, since he has feathery wings, he doesn't like to get wet often (it takes a long time for his wings to dry when they do get wet). The only thing he likes about the sea is fish and seafood in general.

Most of the other main characters (since Arammys has little to no memories of his past other than his name, there's no way to know whether or not he has seen the sea before - not without spoiling the reveals of his past in the story - and so, for all effects and purposes he has never seen the sea) only do see the sea when the main events of the book lead them to Orloch, and because they're literally running against time to save the world, they don't really have much time to enjoy seeing the sea for the first time.

Corah grew up in the kingdom of Tirawen - which, as a kingdom settled in one-half of the most mountainous region of the realm and blocked from the other half by a deadly curse, is very, very much landlocked (it is the most important kingdom of the realm, and the kingdom's capital, so it does have strong diplomatic and political ties to Orloch for the sake of seafaring trade). She knew a lot about the sea from books from the palace library, travelling merchants who came to trade goods from the coastal cities in the capital, and from her father's own adventuring experiences, but only ever saw the actual sea during her actual quest. She really liked the sea and found it incredibly cool, as well as beautiful, though she was wary of ever swimming in it (mostly because there are actual sea monsters in the Mist Sea).

Arammys is the character that was by far the most mesmerized by the sea. His lack of memories means that more often than not he is experiencing things for the first time, and the sea is no exception. He was fascinated by it and found it rather curious. Arammys also expressed his desire to swim in the ocean one day and that he'd really like to see a sea monster up close if they weren't so aggressive, that is.

[evelhak]

hi, hope you’re doing well. different person this time around, but you’ve talked abt kuroko & haizaki interactions and how they perceive things, so i’d like to ask abt midorima & akashi in that same context if u don’t mind

Thank you anon, I hope you're doing well too. ☆

You definitely asked a useful question for me, because I'm going to start writing an Akashi centric fic pretty soon, and I haven't explored the relationship between Akashi and Midorima much, which I obviously will have to do when I start writing. So, it wouldn't hurt to think about it already.

There are definitely some things about Akashi's and Midorima's personalities that would make them gravitate towards each other, because no other person in their middle school friend group can really share these things with them to that level. First of all, they're both perfectionists on their own level. For Akashi it's broader and driven by a debilitating fear of mistakes and failure and for Midorima it's more detailed and focused on a particular thing and driven by more of a strictness and inflexibility of thinking, but they both certainly are always going towards some holy idea of perfection. If they do things Right everything's gonna be okay.

However, I think this is where it gets interesting. Midorima seems more arrogant and high and mighty on the surface (at least compared to Oreshi) but he's actually more humble inside, because he places the ultimate control outside of himself, he sees himself in the end as only a human who will always do his absolute best, but it's never a guarantee of anything. Akashi (at least Oreshi) seems a lot more amiable and humble on the surface, but inside he's completely alone, he sees himself as the centre of the universe in the sense that no one will save him, there's nothing bigger than him, therefore him letting go of control would mean total chaos. It's kind of like Midorima sees himself as superior because he knows he is insignificant in the grand scheme of things, unlike the fools who don't know this. While Akashi sees himself as forsaken, and he's compensating for it by trying to be a god, like if he's perfect and in control then maybe he can have some resemblance of a real place in the world. I think these qualities also draw them towards each other, because control is a very big thing for both of them, and they have in some ways similar and in some ways the opposite ways of dealing with it, so they would have a fascination for the way they overlap and differ. It's a lot easier to dismiss someone's way as wrong when you have nothing in common, but when you already have a lot in common and then differ in a major way, it can have a way of encouraging you to find out more about the things that seem so foreign to you, so I think there's something like that going on with these two.

Their differences of course affect the way their relationship works. For Midorima, Akashi seems a bit more like a puzzle to solve, and for Akashi, Midorima seems more like a sounding board to reflect upon, if you simplify it.

They are also the only true "numbers" people in the group, the ones who live and breathe efficiency and have a plan for brushing their teeth. (Sorry for mocking, it's only because I'm completely useless in that department, and my own strategies are completely opposite that I can't pass by a chance to make fun of it. :D I swear I also make fun of my own ways.) I can just picture them as adults, discussing economy and infrastructure and shit like that in a way that my brain just immediately checks out of. Good for them. But again, Midorima has a more detailed and concrete approach to this numbers and plans game, while Akashi has a more abstract, broad one.

I think because they are like this, having both significant overlap and differences, their several common or compatible interests not only bring them together but will make them stay as friends, because their differences will keep their relationship interesting. Because it's one thing to have a friend who likes what you like and approaches those things in pretty much the same ways as you (that's a comforting relationship that doesn't challenge you to grow) and it's another thing to have a friend who likes what you like and approaches those things about half same and half opposite ways from you (that makes a relationship comforting and also challenges you to grow).

So... this only scratches the surface of Midorima and Akashi together, because I haven't really gone there too much.

If you want to read some crack, I have a story about these rich boys going to McDonald's. It's complete trolling. (And it's the type of story where someone adds random adjectives in to make it funnier. It's probably confusing, there are some references to other crack fics I've written too. It might be a "you had to be there" kind of funny, but. In case you're curious.)

[ga-yuu]

Yoritomo & Yoshitsune - Yoritomo Story

The day after Yoshitsune-sama was arrested....

(What's going to happen next....)

If Yoshitsune-sama is not cleared of his suspicions, the alliance between the Shogunate and the Rebels will be in jeopardy.

There are trials from the Underworld and above all that....

(I'm worried about both of them)

Yoshino: "Haa...."

Kagetoki: "What's with the long sigh?"

Yoshino: "Oh! Kagetoki-san!"

I was stumbling down the corridor.

Kagetoki-san called me from behind while holding a bunch of documents.

Kagetoki: "Are you practicing breathing techniques?"

Yoshino: "No, no. I'm just depressed."

Hearing the usual sarcastic tone is a bit of a distraction.

Kagetoki: "You were thinking of Yoritomo-sama and Yoshitsune-sama anyway, weren't you?"

Yoshino: "Eh.....? How did you know?"

Kagetoki: "It's not hard to read your face because of your behavior lately."

(Kagetoki-san is so amazing!)

Yoshino: "What do you think, Kagetoki-san? About the situation right now?"

Kagetoki: "Annoying."

Yoshino: "Annoying?"

(That's unexpected....)

Kagetoki: "Take this."

Yoshino: "Ah? O-Okay..."

A bundle of documents was suddenly handed to me in a heap, and I hurriedly held them with both hands.

Yoshino: "What's this?"

Kagetoki: "Give it to, Yoritomo-sama."

Kagetoki: "There is a mistake in the first document, so I'm returning it."

Yoshino: "So many documents and only one error? That's amazing."

Kagetoki: "Usually Yoritomo-sama makes no mistakes at all."

Yoshino: "Oh really?"

(Since Kagetoki-san is a perfectionist, no wonder)

Kagetoki: "---And he was also sighing."

Yoshino: "Huh?"

I blinked at the sudden change of topic.

Kagetoki: "Two times."

(What are talking about?)

Kagetoki: "Its the number of times Yoritomo-sama sighed during the meeting after receiving these documents."

Yoshino: "Eh?"

Kagetoki: Of course its not bigger as yours though."

Kagetoki: "And he must have been doing without realising it. It's very rare."

Yoshino: "Its hard to imagine, Yoritomo-sama sighing..."

Kagetoki: "That's because he usually has a lot of self-control."

(Maybe...)

I finally understood what Kagetoki-san wanted to say.

Yoshino: "Are you saying that Yoritomo-sama is worried about Yoshitsune-sama and can't concentrate on his work?"

Kagetoki: "It's a pain when family affairs affect work."

(Family affairs...a bit of disgrace when it comes to Kagetoki-san)

(I think Kagetoki-san is probably the only one who can notice the slightest change in Yoritomo-sama's work ethic)

Yoshino: "That's how important Yoshitsune-sama's presence is in Yoritomo-sama's life."

Kagetoki: "If there's anything that disturbs Yoritomo-sama's mind now and in the past----"

Kagetoki: "It would only be Yoshitsune-sama."

Kagetoki: "Well...Although that may not be the case from now on."

Yoshino: "Eh?"

Kagetoki: "Because these days Yoritomo-sama seems to like you even more than before."

Yoshino: "N...No no no."

Yoshino: "I think that's all because of my role as a priestess of the Underworld."

Kagetoki: "I'm sure it all started that way...."

The eyes through the glasses looked straight at me.

Kagetoki: "Did he have any change of heart in confronting Yoshitsune-sama with you in between?"

Kagetoki: "If the emotions that iron self-control had kept him from nurturing were stimulated by the presence of his brother----"

Kagetoki: "I wonder what will happen to the perfect Shogun, Minamoto no Yoritomo, in the future...."

Yoshino: "What do you mean....?"

Kagetoki: "Think about that yourself or ask Yoritomo-sama directly."

Kagetoki: "And also take that documents with you."

(You told me all of this just to get this document corrected or...?)

Yoshino: "I will..."

Kagetoki: "Thank you. Then I'll take my leave."

After seeing off Kagetoki-san, I headed towards Yoritomo-sama's room.

...................

Yoshino: "Excuse me, Yoritomo-sama. Kagetoki-san asked me to send these documents to you."

Yoritomo: "Heh, did he force you into it? Come on in, take a seat."

I sat in front of Yoritomo-sama.

Yoshino: "He told me that there is mistake on the first document, so he asked me to return it."

Yoritomo: "...................."

Yoritomo-sama checked the documents and quickly corrected them.

Yoritomo: "Haa..there you go."

(He looks a little pale)

Yoshino: "Are you not feeling well?"

Yoritomo: "Nah, just had a bad dream and didn't sleep at all."

Yoshino: "Bad dream...?"

Yoritomo: "Yeah, I dreamt about Tamamo growing so big that the corridors of the Shogunate were covered with his fur and I slipped and fell."

Yoshino: "Fufu, that sounds more like a funny dream."

(No...but according to Kagetoki-san, he's having trouble concentrating on his work)

Yoshino: "....You're lying aren't you?"

Yoshino: "You must have been having dreams about Yoshitsune-sama' right?"

Yoritomo: "..........."

Yoritomo-sama smiled gently.

Yoritomo: "Dreaming is a waste of time. Things you can't control are troublesome."

(...I was right!)

I hear a distant affirmation and mutter it in my mind.

Yoritomo: "Don't make that face."

Yoshino: "What kind of dream was it...?"

Yoritomo: "Why do you want to know? Because you're a pharmacist who is responsible for people's health?"

Yoritomo: "Or you have a personal interest in me..."

(....Nn)

The provocative look in his eyes, which contains the intention of seduction, takes my breath away.

But...

(Yoritomo-sama, I don't want to be left out of the loop as you wish....)

Yoshino: "Yes, I have a personal interest in you...Yoritomo-sama."

Yoritomo: "!"

(I hope my cheeks are not red)

Yoshino: "I want to know a lot about Yoritomo-sama. So please tell me..."

Yoritomo: "It's hard to tease you when you become so straightforward."

Yoshino: "Yoritomo-sama!"

Yoritomo: "Fine, I'll say it."

Yoritomo: "I just thought it wouldn't do any good to talk about the contents of a random dream."

Yoritomo: "But if you want to know everything, I won't hide anything."

Yoshino: "Really...?"

Yoritomo: "Yes. Don't complain if you start getting bored."

After a thoughtful reminder, Yoritomo-sama continued.

Yoritomo: "I dreamed about me and Yoshitsune living together and growing up together."

Yoritomo: "Loved by my mother and others, we were both trained by my father and no tragedy ever befell us."

Yoritomo: "We laughed with each other and I said 'I'll be the next head of the Minamoto clan and Yoshitsune will be my right-hand man who will support me."

Yoshino: "That's..."

Yoritomo-sama lost his father and many of his retainers in a battle against the Taira clan when he was a child.

(He was imprisoned as an exile and Yoritomo-sama's happy childhood was taken away from him)

Yoritomo: "Looks like it's never gonna happen. I told you it was bullshit."

Yoshino: ".....I think it's the happiest dream ever."

Yoritomo: "A happiness that will never be true."

Yoritomo-sama said simply as if he had no regrets.

Yoritomo: "Generally, I'm fed up with these kinds of dream."

Yoshino: "Eh?"

Yoritomo: "I've been having this same dream over and over again."

Yoritomo: "I thought it would eventually go away with the passage of time and it did, but last night it happened again."

(...And now you remember it again because now Yoshitsune-sama is in jail?)

Yoshino: "But I think there must be some reason for you to have the same dream over and over again."

Yoritomo: "If there was a meaning, it would be even worse."

Yoritomo-sama gets the exact meaning of my muddled words.

Yoritomo: "If this is my hidden desire, then I'm sick to my stomach."

Yoshino: "Don't say that..."

Yoritomo: "I'd rather dream about him cursing me and killing me."

Yoritomo: "If you have time for sweet escapism, there are so many things you should be doing instead."

Yoritomo: "Otherwise, there would be no point in sacrificing him to the Shogunate."

I was flabbergasted by the words spun in an indifferent voice.

(Yoritomo-sama is perhaps....)

(But)

Yoshino: "Yoritomo-sama is too self-controlled to dream, isn't that right?"

Yoritomo: "What?"

Yoshino: "Your heart...must have been screaming at having cut off Yoshitsune-sama."

Yoshino: "And yet you kept smiling like a perfect SHogun to hide your emotions."

Yoritomo: "..Heh, you're getting too emotional. What is going to do next? Pat me on the head and comfort me?"

Yoshino: "----If you want me to."

Yoritomo: "..Ah."

I reached out and stroked his soft hair and Yoritomo-sama looked stunned.

(What a cripple he is, who seems to have everything, wealth, fame etc)

For some reason, I could feel it in my body that he was on the verge of crying.

[luminousbravery]

Nice! I'm so glad there are still people here(in this fandom)! Okay, here it is:

I am a 5'6" biological female, I use she/her/they pronouns(god that sounds cringey), I am bisexual(I'm pretty sure, at least), have medium length dark brown hair, and turquoise/greenish eyes(i don't really know what color they are), and I wear black glasses with clear rims. I have what most would describe as the 'hourglass/pear' body shape with larger hips and B cup breasts. I tend to wear baggy, comfort-first sort of clothes with the occasional dress and one piece.

My zodiac signs(If you care) are Virgo(sun), Libra(moon), and Virgo(ascendant). I also have the INTP personality type.

Facts about me:

I have been told than I have a high maturity level for someone my age(but I laugh at dumb jokes so idk if I believe them)

I enjoy cracking jokes about anyone and anything, NO ONE IS SHIELDED FROM MY COMEDIC WRATH

I am kind, polite, relaxed, have a dark sense of humor and generally low self-esteem

I try to be open-minded, and am always looking to improve my talents and relationships with those I care about

Critical and suspicious of literally EVERYTHING (especially myself)

I can be insensitive, petty, and sometimes even knowingly dismissive of my faults, and try to blame others instead

I lie a lot more than I'd like to admit, but try to make up for it and improve

I come from an primarily Christian family, my favorite season is winter, and I would like to create other forms of art other than writing at some point

I used to have what could be considered a phobia of insects/bugs, but it has become a lot mild over the years

I mostly enjoy physical affection more so than verbal, but if worded in certain ways that can touch my heart, I will prefer the latter, and you will have acquired a loyal ally (I respect the power of words, I am a writer after all)

I am what is described as a HSP (hyper sensitive person, look it up if you're curious)

I have a condition called Exotropia (aka drifting eye) in my left eye that has been corrected through 3 surgeries (but I still have to wear glasses in order to maintain it).

A firm believer that nothing is truly impossible, and that people hate most in others what they hate in themselves

Confused by everything 24/7… EVERYTHING

Likely on the autism spectrum

Low self-esteem

Definitely a perfectionist

I try by best not to start conflict(that is my sister's job), and I hate when people put me in situations where I have to make a personal choices... but that also means I mask my own emotions a lot

Likes: Being helpful, alternative, rock, and indie music, order and peacefulness, making people laugh, Sci-Fi media, writing/creating, tarot cards, D&D, anything to do with the diversity of personalities, psychology, cooking and baking

Dislikes: Being a burden, country music, drama and chaos, low effort creative endeavors, hypocrites(ironically), closed minded people, bad grammar, things not going my way, extremely religious people, weird internet trends and phrases (ex: pogchamp, dummy thicc, boomer, etc.), most of tumblr, Twitter

And that should be most of the important stuff (just so I don't get carried away)! I am very interested to see who you match me with!

okay i just woke up so this one is going to be a liiiiittle bit short righto

i pair you wiiiiith jade harley! idk i feel like you two would bond well and balance each other out somehow. like you two would have similar interests and your personalities aren't exactly the same, but you two would work in a weird kind of harmony. so yea!

[genshinimpactlife]

Helloooo, idk if you still do matchups, but if you do, I’d like to have a genshin matchup (sfw and nsfw)! I’m totally okay with every gender :D 

I go by she/her pronouns, am an infp and an aquarius. 

I read a lot (I adore thrillers, fantasy novels and horror (my fav book at the moment is Vicious by V.E. Schwab and Dracula by Bram Stoker) and draw sometimes too. I also love swimming but I hate almost every other sport lmao. I’m really interested in serial killers and their psychology and human anatomy. 

I hate large groups and don’t really talk when I’m around a lot of people or with people I don’t know well. Even with my friends I’m pretty calm and silent, but I have some moments and days where I’m suddenly very loud and outgoing. I’ve been told I can bee pretty creepy at times and the fact that I collect bones doesn’t really help-

I have a massive sweet tooth and love everything that is soft, I mostly listen to modern rock and industrial metal and some classical music once in a while. I’m really loyal and would do anything for the people I care about, but I do have some trust issues. I don’t fear a lot of things, but I’m scared of being abandoned, failing and spiders lol. I’m probably afraid of failing cuz I’m very focused on making other people proud and failing feels like failing them. I am a bit of a perfectionist lol. I don’t really like people touching me, but when I’m really close to someone I live for it. (I also thrive on words of affection or praise lol).

I'm an absolute bottom and sub. I'm open to experiment with a lot of kinks too (but I do 100% have a praise, biting/marking, bondage, (and maybe voice?) kink.)

Andddd I think that’s all that’s really important? If it’s not just let me know lol and thanksssss

I would match you with...

Creepy, you say? That immediately drew Hu Tao to you.

She is fascinated by your bone collection and always gifts them to you.

"Of course it's not a human bone wink wink."

You never have to worry when you're in a big group with Hu Tao because she will talk for both of you.

Hu Tao asks Zhongli a lot about what books would be the best to get for you.

She adores your taste in music—you two jam out all the time.

She would always support you and remind you that making a mistake or failing at something does not make you a failure.

Constantly gives you words of affection and praises you. Also very physically affectionate when you are comfortable with it

MDNI:NSFW Below

Hu Tao is a switch and doesn't mind taking control.

Big on whispering something dirty in your ear, especially while the two of you are in public.

She is always learning about something new that she wants to try out with you.

Will proudly leave marks and hickeys on your body that can't be hidden with clothes.

Hope you enjoy!

[kerra-and-company]

11-13, 18 and 20 for Nisha? :3c

Nisha time!! :D (Also, you sent me two asks, which probably was accidental but I'm 1000% answering both of them <3)

11. Bad or petty habits

Nisha's biggest bad habit is, I think, being a bit overly perfectionistic, particularly when under more stress than usual/not doing great mentally in other aspects. That and not sharing how xe's feeling are both things that xe slips back into doing when xe's not...Thriving, shall we say. Xe is pretty good at recognizing that nowadays, though, and will ask for help of some kind/in some way 99 times out of 100.

(On a slightly more lighthearted note, Nisha also tends to fall asleep reading with a light of some kind still on, which would be mostly okay except that xe has drained several batteries that way and once nearly set a nightstand on fire xD )

12. Grudges and vendettas

Legitimately, I think all the people/beings/creatures that Nisha had severe grudges/vendettas against are dead (most significantly, Mordremoth, Balthazar, and--to some extent--Kralkatorrik). I can't think of anyone still alive who falls into this category enough to be noted here (though there are certainly folks that xe dislikes who are still around!).

13. What gets them flustered

Surprise affection! (From specific people who've talked about this beforehand! Consent is still important, folks.) If one of xyr partners comes up and kisses xem on the cheek, for example, that's a good one, and Kerra and Canach definitely use that "trick" on a regular basis. (Which actually requires some creativity on both of their parts since Nisha is TALL xD)

Aside from that, genuinely having someone look up to xem/respect xem and tell xem so will sometimes do it, though this often leans towards more just generally emotional than flustered, and xe probably won't show it in front of said person if at all possible.

18. Things they’ll never admit

Nisha, these days, doesn't really have a thing that's a hard "I'll never tell anyone about this", but there's definitely some things that xe keeps generally under wraps. The fact that xe and Rel are not born of the Pale Tree is something of an open secret, but the fact that they both knew about the Mordremoth-sylvari connection their entire lives (and knew years before 1327-1328) is a secret that's kept much quieter. There are definitely people who know (such as their respective partners and very close friends--meaning, at this point, probably all of Dragon's Watch), but it's not even close to common knowledge. It doesn't need to be shared, so it isn't. (Side note, this is also making me wonder, as far as actual canon goes, how widely known it is among other sylvari nowadays that Caithe knew for years and kept that secret--or if it's known at all beyond the Commander and Dragon's Watch and the Pale Tree.)

20. What-ifs/Alternate Timelines

Ooh, alternate timelines with Nisha? Let's see here...well, I immediately thought of a timeline where xe just doesn't exist, but honestly things are just worse there and it's making me sad, so we're going to leave that one alone asldjkfasdf. I don't think Nisha would ever have ended up Commander unless you fully swapped xyr backstory and Kerra's or something like that--which is a fun thought experiment, actually, because how much do you swap there? Does Nisha just end up being a child of the Pale Tree and Kerra is born in Maguuma? Do they swap siblings, too? (E.g., Kerra is Rel's twin and Nisha has Caithe and Trahearne as older siblings?) Nisha with Kerra's empathy abilities (even just that on its own without moving anything else around) would increase xyr early need to keep everything emotional under control times 10, easy.

In terms of something that isn't a swap, there's definitely a world where instead of just letting Rel leave the Priory and travel, xe tried to stop him (like physically stop him, not just talk him out of it) because xyr fear pushed xem past a point of making reasonable decisions, and it really hurt their relationship as siblings. They'd make up going into and throughout HoT, but it'd always be just a little bit awkward. (The stopping wouldn't be physically violent in the sense of hitting him, but restraining is and would still have been bad. Xe's impulsive when xe's afraid sometimes, especially at that point when xyr emotional regulation was an empty metal can with two crumbs in it, and the only reason xe didn't try anything along those lines in main canon was that xe was too shell-shocked and more devastated than afraid in the moment.)

Brain is tired, so I'm stopping there, but there are definitely more potential AUs/timelines out there for xem :D

[bitegore]

Directors cut for Soundwave Says: Fuck Off?

Soundwave Says: Fuck Off can be read here :D

There are two pieces of important context for this fic and neither of them have anything to do with it. The first is that I got really used to the level of feedback and attention I got for my (extremely often, usually at least one update to one fic a day) posting schedule over this summer and I was really happy with it! I've always been enormously attention-hungry and I was finally getting a level of sustained attention that I liked.

And then I went to college. And now I can't do that any more, because I'm using my brain for, like, school and shit. Now I'm back to the bad old days of refreshing my email every ten minutes and having nothing new in there for an entire day! Horrible. So I'm like desperate to finish and post things and it's just not getting done because I need my time and my focus for school and fic has to come second.

The other thing is that, in the tradition of several other people who I admire, I decided to make a fic-idea generating twitter bot with Cheap Bots Done Quick. My bot is pretty janky for a few reasons, not least of which because I can't get it to save variables, but it works.

Soundwave Says: Fuck Off was literally just me sitting down at approximately 1am, going "if i don't get a comment on a fic tonight i will literally drop dead and also die, but i have no ideas for anything i can wrap up and post in a short period of time. let me go play with my bot... okay that's a funny prompt, i'll do it" (because the bot gave me "the Decepticons and Soundwave had a falling out and now Hook is trying to get them back together. the fic" and that was just a very funny idea)

The actual fic itself literally shaped up while i was writing it. I didn't know Soundwave was going on temporary negotiation-vacation until about a third of the way through. There was very little by way of planning or thought process outside "it needs to be funny and it needs to be posted TONIGHT" lmfao, but I did figure that it wouldn't actually make sense for Soundwave to have fucked off from the Decepticons for real. He's just not really that kind of character. He wouldn't do that. So then there needed to be a different reason... the first and most low-hanging of which was "Soundwave got annoyed and took a vacation".

Soundwave forcing Hook to vacation with him was like the next immediate plan once I figured that out, though. I already set him up as the other overworked perfectionist among the Decepticons; I kind of had to follow through on that parallel after I'd done it.

Sorry I haven't got better or more in-depth commentary, but this fic had like. 0.5 thoughts go into it, haha, if I were going to give you analysis it'd be me digging through what's already there trying to come up with something deeper than what I actually put in lmao. You know how it goes. Sometimes you just gotta write fic for the sake of getting everyone to call you funny rather than to say anything about the characters.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Phew she's okay :'))

I'm still sus about her parents though xd

Something's gotta go wrong

Oof good luck Park xd

Lol Lea xDD

Aww them :))

AAHHHHHHH A W W W W W W W W W 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I LITERALLY CAN'T WITH THIS 😭😭😭❤️

THE HATS IN GENERAL BUT A A A H H H H H H THERE BEING ONE FOR GLASSMAN AS GRANDPAAAA AAAHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰❤️❤️😭

I am not okay <333

Ahh in his kitchen xD

I mean yeah he's one of the most experienced around

This sounds very bad and very complicated xdd

AYY he's okay :')) hey Perez <333

OOF yeah none of that sounds good and he looks like he's in a lot of pain 😭😭

I didn't even think about the worry being his addiction :'((

I really hope this ends up okay 😭💔 :'(( <333

Oof Morgan xdd

Lol fair though like it must be difficult to let someone else do it, especially a perfectionist like Morgan xD

This lady's getting frustrated 😬 xd

OOF hopefully she got her 😬

I'm sorry hon xdd

Ayy hey y'all :'D

Aww glad he took a second to congratulate them <3

But I imagine he's here for a reason?

Yup 😬

Oh noo this poor girl :'((

Nah Shaun has to do it I bet

Yep :'))

I don't think it would happen without him lol

Just say you'll have someone get him lol

It's too and he can't be there for this part :( but still they both know it needs to happen :')) ❤️

Oh hey besties

Uh ohh xdd

We don't have time for that lol

It's about him isn't it?

Yup 😬😬😬

Uh ohhh

They know he's dating Villanueva don't they o.o

LOL Lea xDD

XDD Not just wandering around but going to GLASSMAN lol

Yup they do need to talk lol

I mean yeah just set it aside for today <33

O P E

I?????

GLASSMAN'S GONNA DELIVER THE BABY XDDD

That's how it ends up a bit better lol

OPE NO LOL

SLAYYYY LEA XDDD

Such an icon <333

Oh noo DD':

Poor Perez :'((

Hey Kalu 😬😬 tense stuff going on in here xdd

Uhh ohhh

OHHH NOOOO

UHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHH

OHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOO

C'mon Jordan no :((((

But also like I really need him to be okay 😭😭 well survive that is :'((

Can't you just put him to sleep or something 😭😭??

NOOO oh noo 😭😭😭

This just sucks honestly <333 </333

Should maybe someone else be doing this/making this decision Jordan xd

AAHHHHH noooo 😭😭😭😭💔💔

Opioids :'(((

[betweenthescarletmoon]

The Hollywood Reporter Roundtable Analysis

It was very intriguing for me how Oscar carefully delved into the question he was given by the host Lacey in 38:45, but in a slight surface-level way. Some information he's given in other times filled up a lot of the blanks he left behind in his answer.

First let's go over what they said.

Lacey: Your co-star from Scenes From a Marriage, Jessica Chastain, talked about [how] she had to go to a place that was so dark, and she's not sure she can sort of ever go to these places as an actress again. And I'm curious if you've felt any of that and how your individual, personal sort of boundaries shift with time, with experience, with success.

Oscar: You know, before I'd be like: "what limb do I have to take—cut off to make this scene three percent better?" But I think that it's about inspiration. [...] The whole reason process exists is to inspire, right? And sometimes you don't need a wild process to be inspired by something. Sometimes the words themselves will do it, um, sometimes the character is enough. Sometimes the situation is so harrowing that that's enough to inspire a whole history of a character. And sometimes you gotta: "what did he eat for breakfast? why did he do this?" In order to try, y'know, to inspire some imagination and some sense of truth, right, or some sense of—some emotional, interesting thing.

Oscar [continued]: But boundaries, I think, are becoming more important to me now. And then you have kids. Time is the most valuable commodity. And I think with Scenes From a Marriage, the scenes themselves—that [was what was] so harrowing, not so much the character. But also it mirrored a lot of things in my own life. [...] I'd be reading a bed time story to the young actress that's a five-year-old with a little bunny lamp, and then go home, arrive just in time to sit in the bed with the same exact bunny lamp, somehow, and read a story to my five-year-old— You know, it just starts to fuck with your head, because we're just a human being, so that's a weird situation! [...]

Oscar [yeah he makes up for not talking for almost the entire hour with this question]: After a while, I think it was just all the nature of it, you know? It was right in the height of the pandemic. It was in this factory in the Bronx that had been turned into a studio. It was only like sixty people. And these were very long—almost every shot was like a thirty-minute take. It felt like a weird hybrid between theatre and TV and film. And with someone that I've known for twenty years as well—so all those things created a very uncanny situation, that I think, going back, I probably would have been a little more mindful about. Like, y'know, a little clearer boundaries— And the truth is, even if it wouldn't have been quite as real or good (you know?), I'm okay with—I'm getting better with that idea that—I don't have to cut off a limb just to make it slightly better. It's okay. It's okay.

First off, i just wanna gush over his speech patterns bc I am that all over the place when I try to communicate my thoughts (i actually skipped a lot of his endearing stutters, pet phrases, and filler things he said to grasp at his next message). It's so relatable especially in a group full of people (not to mention legendary actors), because even a guy who looks as confident as him can still sound like he's making a discovery as he speaks and takes you along.

Now on to my analysis of what he said because at first I didn't completely get what he meant!

I have a feeling he's very perfectionistic, and from how he speaks about work in other articles as well as here, he also seems a workaholic. I believe in here he's trying to say that there should be different levels of immersion and hard work to connect with or explore the character instead of always bringing his all and beyond to the job.

Also, scenes from a marriage was as traumatic an experience to film as it was for us to watch (his words after 1:56 on this vid), and Jessica admitted to crying every day for four months during filming. It was a very intimate and emotionally intense series to film especially with such a close friend from Juilliard. So i believe both Oscar and Jessica gave everything they had to make this already overwhelming series feel as real and painful as possible. And since it's a hard setting to feel far removed from (both are married, have kids, have a sex life, could be facing divorce in the future bc of its high rates), it must have hit them even harder. I believe it's not truly an experience to watch sfam without you screaming at, insulting, or feeling immensely sorrowful for the characters because THAT is the reaction they fought hard to get from you. That pain, that anxiety, that tension, that rage, that pity, every emotion you felt that you could barely cope with? All crafted thanks to their extremely immersive and talented performance coupled with their flawless chemistry. But if it feels real to us, through a screen…for them it must've felt even more so. Unbearably more so.

So i believe these experiences, as well as having a family to take care of, and other priorities like time and mental health, have recently made it more important for him to strike a balance in his life. To stop obsessing over creating the perfect role or immersion, or to use these roles to cope with and process real life struggles (as he's admitted to do). I think it's important for him to now connect with real life more, like being a father and a husband, as well as just a human being. Not just an actor or a character.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Important Excerpts from Articles about escapism and coping through acting (in case you don't feel like reading the last references):

New York Times: After His Mother’s Death, Oscar Isaac Turns to Shakespeare for Solace

“I didn’t know how to process any of this, but this [performing as Hamlet] I knew how to do.”

But [Hamlet is] also a tragedy that asks Mr. Isaac to relive the anguished death of a parent at every performance. In Sam Gold’s rowdy, deconstructionist staging, every time Mr. Isaac mud-wrestles, or lofts a prop skull or performs a mad scene in just a T-shirt and briefs, he seems to be working through his own loss, transforming raw private grief into riveting public performance.

As Mr. Isaac explained, performing has always helped him come to terms with his emotions. “This is how I’m able to function,” he said. “The only way that I’m really able to process stuff is through reflecting it.”

Esquire: The Dream of Oscar Isaac

To be in conversation with Oscar Isaac, who is forty-three, is to talk with someone who has thought deeply about the course of his life—not out of narcissism or vanity but by necessity, a desperate desire to find what feels like solid ground. For him. For his family. For us, whom his art reaches. He has worked to wrest meaning out of his confusions and fears. His effort is ongoing, and his audiences have the privilege of following him in his relentless and shattering performances, in search of the firm footing he lost every time another of his dreams was interrupted.

If superheroes have their capes and their flamethrowers to help them survive, we ordinary humans have our imagination. It has been our shelter for millennia, a way to express and to understand what feels incomprehensible. When it all gets too heavy, sometimes the fragile rope tethering us to solid ground snaps clean, and there is often no refuge sturdy enough to put us back together except in the intimate, private shelter of our minds.

NPR: For Oscar Isaac, life — and acting — is all about impermanence

“It [acting] is a funnel, and it's always been where I go to understand things about life and things that are happening to me. But it's one thing to grieve as a character and one thing to grieve as an actual person. And I think that there's still quite a lot of unresolved stuff there.”

I hope you enjoyed this post! I had to organize all my thoughts in one place because it's so fascinating and complex

[albatris]

ok i am terribly curious: what is a frankendraft. i saw that term multiple times in ur atdao tag and i am full of Wondering over what it means

oh hell yeah, the frankendraft! that's not a term I've used in a while!

anyway this is gonna be a super jumbled long ramble post, I'm so sorry, I have a lot of trouble explaining things concisely dhgdjkghd

okay, so, it was...... TECHNICALLY invented as my own personal "outlining" method for ATDAO, and you will see why that is in quotation marks as this post goes on :P

so the official name for the frankendrafting technique was "outline first draft frankendocument" but this is a mouthful so it got shortened to simply "frankendraft"!

in short, a frankendraft is basically a very very VERY bare bones shitty first draft, except I couldn't call it A First Draft at the time lest I intimidate myself out of working on it. a frankendraft is basically writing every single thing that happens in a story from start to finish in the form of like

X does this. Y says this. this happens. then this happens. which makes X feel this particular way. then this happens. which makes this happen. etc etc etc

I cannot emphasise enough that this is NOT in brief dot point summary form. this is in chapters. this is the Full Fucking Story. here is an excerpt from the frankendraft to illustrate my point:

"Noa is hesitant to leave Alice alone, and feels it would be inconsiderate. Plus, she's worried about how the rest of the DII will receive this, whether they will view her as reckless and irresponsible. She goes to her car to get a blanket for Alice, and then searches her back seat to see if she has anything in the way of spare clothes for herself. She locates one of Tris's hoodies she has been procrastinating giving back to him because it's huge and comfy, and puts it on."

the whole thing is basically just like. stage directions. me explaining the story to myself. lmao. it's literally all the same level of bland and undescriptive and bare bones from start to finish. I've won NaNoWriMos with how lengthy the frankendraft is

now, the whole thing may seem kind of dumb and you may be like "so what is the benefit of that?", but here, hear me out, I had my reasons, yeah. and it's actually a KILLER technique if you're not quite a plotter and not quite a pantser and you're also an over-anxious perfectionist stresshead with brain fog and a complicated plot you need to wrangle into cooperation

it functioned as an elaborate trap I could lure my anxious perfectionist writer brain into where I unwittingly spin together a coherent draft without realising

but mostly, like, in hindsight, I was SCARED of writing so I'd freeze up, and the frankendraft was excellent for helping with that! interestingly, the frankendraft was an approach I needed to use for ATDAO, but not one I've needed for Rental Car which means I've definitely made progress on the perfectionism and fear side of things! :D

now, here we fuckin go, The Longer Explanation Of Benefits Of Frankendrafting -

so, story time, there was like a five year period where I was getting NOWHERE with any of my work, and I was grumbling about it when I had the following realisations

pantsing wasn't working for me because I'd freeze up and find it super daunting, I struggled with just Throwing Myself Into a scene right off the bat with no guidance. even if my brain knew exactly where the scene needed to go, I hit blocks. no thoughts head empty. plus, the plot of ATDAO had so many different threads going at once that trying to keep track of everything While Writing A Genuine Engaging Story was too much for my confused little brain 2 handle lmao

and at the time, writing was an extremely anxious act for me! lots of perfectionism, lots of stress, in the midst of relearning how to Have Fun Writing again, blank pages are intimidating, blah blah, usually I'd psych myself out so bad that my brain stopped completely

so I thought to myself, "hey, if you're struggling to keep track of what you need to be doing and all the stress is too much at once, you probably need an outline!"

but traditional outlines don't work great for me either, see, 'cause I struggle to condense things and figure out what the Important Key Points are that I should be putting in my summaries and dot points. outlining that way feels restrictive, it doesn't express what I need it to, it doesn't help me at all when it comes to actually knowing what I need to do in a scene

'cause like, in my outline, the scene is just a brief description of what's happening, but there's so much OTHER stuff I need to keep track of, like. how does this scene progress, what are the feelings, what other plot elements are at play, where am I at with symbolism, characterisation, what's the dialogue like, what parts of the mystery are at play here

a lot needs to happen in a scene! and without having it ALL laid out for me I'd still hit blocks

so then I was like. "what if instead of either trying to write a full story right off the bat OR trying to fit the jumble of garbage inside my brain into a Nice Neat Outline while trying to make said outline resemble my plot in a way that actually helps me know what to write..... what if I just included literally as much detail as possible in my outline. what if I just included All Of It"

so I did!

I just started typing up descriptions of what happens in the scene line by line. here's an action! here's a symbolism! here's a dialogue! feelings! another action! telling the story without bothering to make it a Story, without descriptions and prose and whatever. just straight facts. not bothering to make it sound nice

Me Explaining The Story To Myself. me telling myself line by line what I need to do

and this worked FANTASTICALLY. I was coming up with fresh ideas, I wasn't scared, I was having important plot realisations, things were coming together and making sense in a way they hadn't for years c: I was finding ways to join scenes that were previously just floating and disconnected together into a coherent narrative, without the stress of "oh fuck I'm writing a story"

(and it WAS stress at the time, writing a story. I had a very dicey relationship with creative writing for several years)

but anyway yeah...... I could just trick myself into writing a first draft without ever acknowledging I'm writing a first draft

anyway this was also great for me because my two favourite parts of the writing process are 1. taking shitty words that already exist and transforming them and building on them to create something better, and 2. editing and revision. I realise now these are arguably the same thing at times

building and editing, these are my jams. I love taking some garbage and tweaking it and transforming it and finding better ways to describe things and swapping stuff round till it clicks

I could just go through an entire frankendraft like "I'm creating a hyperspecific outline, not a first draft" and then when I finished it I could be like "whew, a first draft, now the hard part is done and I get to do the fun stuff I love!" which is editing, revising, building, transforming this bare bones mess into something genuinely lovely

"but logan doesn't that take away from the mystery and fun of writing??? if you're so specific with your outline, isn't that boring??"

nope! it wasn't for me! I still got all the fun stuff, I just got it in a different way! I simply couldn't do the fun stuff and learning and discovery while I was ALSO trying to, like....... write a story, with style and description and finesse and drama and good words

plus, the most inspiring thing for me was not the Mystery and Adventure of writing (which, again, I still did get), it was my brain being free enough to just relax and write. which is why possessing a frankendraft that just directed me exactly EXACTLY where I needed to go was so freeing and wonderful!

anyway so that was The Frankendraft

long unnecessarily wordy explanation

it's a first draft! it's an outline! it saved my fuckin ass more times than I can count

it served its purpose and I haven't needed to use the technique recently! yeehaw

thanks for coming to my ted talk