#I'm a bit late but it's still June though ...

[hooked-on-elvis]

"It's Still Here" (1973)

Recorded on May 19, 1971 at RCA’s Studio B, Nashville, TN. Released on July 16, 1973. Album: Elvis (Fool)

MUSICIANS Piano: Elvis Presley, Bass: Norbert Putnam. * The complete recording of “It’s Still Here” runs 4:40, including a breakdown in the middle of the take; it was edited down to 2:05 for the initial master.

--

RECORDING SESSION Studio Session for RCA May 15–21, 1971: RCA’s Studio B, Nashville On the night of May 15 RCA’s Studio B had been decorated for an early Christmas. A tree with beautifully wrapped empty boxes stood in the center of the room, but Elvis brought real gifts for the musicians and his own associates — gold bracelets engraved “Elvis '71.” All the players from the June 1970 sessions were back, and again there were no backup singers present. With no personnel changes and as few distractions as possible, Felton expected to be able to get all of Elvis’s recording done in short order and save all the sweetening for later. BACKSTORY: The studio was decorated for Christmas in May most likely to create the right mood for the musicians - specially to inspire Elvis himself, since everybody knew how much of a Christmas enthusiast he was. During that session they would cut songs that would be release in the same year, 1971, on the then upcoming album "Elvis Sings The Wonderful World Of Christmas", as well as begin to record songs for the following albums - a contemporary music album and a gospel album. The Christmas decoration might have helped but fact is Elvis was in a great mood during those May recording sessions, cheerfully joking with everybody in the studio, even showing off his karate skills, while keeping himself seriously engaged in doing his best work, specially with the religious songs. His light mood is quite intriguing since what happened to him during the first days of the May 1971 recording sessions. During that first recording session in May 15-16th 1971, Elvis felt a striking pain on his eye and left to see a doctor, ending up being diagnosed with glaucoma.

Excerpt from book "Elvis What Happened" by Red West, Dave Hebler and Sonny West as told to Steve Dunleavy (1977).

Elvis leaving an eye doctor's office in Beverly Hills sometime in late 1971.

That year, 1971, was the beginning for the dark sunglasses era. Elvis took it all lightly, joking around with people about his serious health condition. One of those people was Kathy Westmoreland, to whom Elvis said, after showing her his collection of sun glasses:

"If I have to wear the damn things," Elvis smiled, making fun of himself, "I'm gonna have one in every color." Excerpt from "Elvis and Kathy" by Kathy Westmoreland (1987).

Surprisingly right after the brief hospitalization and the emergency eye treatment, Elvis got right back into the recording studio in Nashville.

— A LITTLE BIT OF THE RECORDING SESSION ON MAY 19, 1971 WHEN "IT’S STILL HERE" WAS RECORDED: During the day Elvis slept, but for most of the members of the band it was business as usual—sessions all morning and afternoon. When they came back to work nights with Elvis, Felton had an unwritten rule prohibiting anyone from yawning in the studio—for fear that it might “bring down” his star—and he insisted that the musicians take their breaks in the parking lot. And even Elvis made a trip to their “outdoor lounge” when he became bogged down in “Seeing Is Believing,” a new tune Red West had just frantically completed. Otherwise, though, he kept focused throughout the evening, actively directing the band, patiently discussing the backing parts with the female singers. Jerry Reed’s “A Thing Called Love” was completed with an elaborate vocal arrangement that featured bass singer Armond Morales in a unison part with Elvis throughout the song. References to the previous evening’s gunplay were flying, and after a while Elvis noticed how upset the Imperials became whenever he struck a karate pose. It was another night of good-humored ad-libbing. “He left the splendor of RCA—of Victor,” he sang self-referentially after one verse of “Listen To The Bells”; “went back to Sun Records. …” The next take of “A Thing Called Love” collapsed, and Felton as always deflected blame from Elvis onto the newcomer, Joe Moscheo. But Elvis, ever gracious when he was in good spirits, just changed the opening line of the song from “Six foot six, he stood on the ground” to “Three foot four …” and dedicated the song to Charlie Hodge. After the meal break the atmosphere changed. Determined to capture the mood he achieved while performing at home, Elvis sat down at the piano for an impassioned yet unassuming solo set. Two of the three songs he chose had been favorites as far back as his days in Germany: “I’ll Take You Home Again Kathleen” and Ivory Joe Hunter’s “I Will Be True,” both of which he’d recorded on his home equipment in Bad Nauheim. This old material was hardly what Felton or RCA were looking for in an Elvis session, but Al Pachucki was ready with the tapes rolling just the same. The most moving of the three was another Ivory Joe Hunter song, “It’s Still Here,” but later Felton excitedly reported to the Colonel that with overdubs they all would make “great tunes,” keen to convince both Elvis and his manager of their commercial potential.

Excerpt: "Elvis Presley, A Life in Music: The Complete Recording Sessions" by Ernst Jorgensen. Foreword by Peter Guralnick (1998)

AFTERMATH Five albums were out a while before the "Elvis (Fool)" album could be released in 1973. Following the 1971 Christmas album was the contemporary music album, "Elvis Now", and then the gospel album "He Touched Me" preceding two live record releases, the "Elvis: As Recorded At Madison Square Garden" (1972) and the "Aloha From Hawaii Via Satellite" (1973) albums, and just then the "Elvis (Fool)" album was made by putting together songs recorded during the May 1971 recording session as well as songs taped during recording sessions in February-March 1972.

"IT'S STILL HERE" — LYRICS Songwriter: Ivory Joe Hunter The day you said we'd never part You turned around and broke my heart You had the nerve to tell me I would soon forget Now you've been gone away one year And I have not forgotten dear The love I had for you so long Is still here Wow-oh It's here, still here Because my heart cannot believe We're really through And though you said we'd never part You turned around and broke my heart The love I had for you so long Is still here It's here, still here Because my heart cannot believe We're really through Now you've been gone away one year And I have not forgotten dear The love I had for you so long Is still here Wow-oh It's here, it's here, still here Because my heart cannot believe We're really through And though you said we'd never part You turned around and broke my heart The love I had for you so long Is still here Wow-ow It's here, still here Because my heart cannot believe We're really through And though you said we'd never part You turned around and broke my heart The love I had for you so long Is still here Oh yeah

UNEDITED MASTER (4:45)

ORIGINAL RECORDING Ivory Joe Hunter (1968)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - In Which None of You Should be Surprised by a MAJOR Upset in the Standings

Sorry this is so late. I had a pretty epic series of delays landing me at NRT for like 18 hours or something ridiculous. To be fair there are much worse airports to be stranded at.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

June 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Rebound (Weds Gaga) ep 1 of 12 - Fuck all ya'all if you thought I had taste. MeenPing are topping this damn list because... have you any idea how LONG I have been waiting for a real sports centered BL starring at least one boy who actually played the flipping sport? My whole damn life. You ready for me to go into euphoric splooges all over your screens? I don't think you are. SUFFER! And now some splooging:

It’s off to a great start. Thank you, Rebound, for being exactly what I wanted. By which I mean Meen has his shirt off literally in the first two minutes of the show. Also it’s a bit of a childhood sweethearts reunion romance. There’s nothing wrong with this beginning. Fantastic. For a change, I even enjoy the intro music. Golf is directing MeenPing this time, so maybe something magical will happen. Frank is aging so pretty!!! How nice for all of us. Even the bb play is good. It’s a proper sports BL. I’m so damn happy right now. 

Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 9 of 12 - I’m so tired of Ter, but everything else was lovely. Also they are SUCH boyfriends. 

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 12 - They are so cute in these roles. I don’t know why, I just like their vibe better here than in the previous show. (And I really enjoyed Big Dragon at the start.) This show is a lot more classic romance and kind of pat because of that. I do hope the ingénue character gets some kind of additional development and talent. But even if it stays mundane, these two have the chemistry to carry it. So I suspect I’ll keep enjoying it regardless. I am mildly intrigued by the spice of the PNR element, so I hope they run with that a bit more. I suspect they will have to, to extend the plot for 12 eps.

My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - Ah Ming... famous last words. This one just makes me sigh a lot and whimper sadly. I don’t know where they’re going with this plot or how they’re gonna resolve it. Joe finally being the asshole Ming deserves is a lot of fun though (double entendre intended). I’m scared but it did make me cry... a lot. (That's fine, I'm a sap.)  

Imma say this because no one else has. Wardrobe is unilaterally terrible in this show. I mean Thailand is notoriously bad in general but this show, nash.

We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 13 of 16 - They are so fucking adorable. And so flirty! Also a crying kiss? My favorite! Chain’s little moment of "Cupid shoot thyself" was epic. ("Physician heal thyself" but for the BL world?) Honestly, I could watch a whole show about these two...

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 1 of 12 - How does Gun still look like he’s just out of high school? Madness. Does the set for the print shop that he’s working in at the beginning remind anybody else of Mork’s dad’s place in ‘Cause He’s My Boy? I swear GMMTV has about 3 sets they rotate through.

To be brutally honest, I was not looking forward to the show at all. No idea why. OffGun aren’t my most favorite OG pair, but I respect them for their longevity, optics, acting shops, and enduring brand. Maybe I just needed more of a gap from Cooking Crush?

Whatever, I was absolutely riveted by this first episode. I’m enjoying The Trainee a lot. Like, a lot a lot.

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - This version did the "clear up of the inciting miscommunication" in such a sweet achey way. Frankly that "ache of first love" really plays to G4's strengths as a pair. This was a good ep and I’m now starting to enjoy this one for its own sake and get some distance from the JBL version. It's just there is A LOT of good stuff coming out of Thailand right now.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I was inspired to write a Shakespearean style sonnet in this week's trash watch. Mame seems to believe that no character can have depth without suffering. And I found this episode both boring and rushed at the same time. Trash watch here. (This week's trash watch also VERY delayed.)

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - It’s eminently missable... so I missed it this week in order to get this weekly update out. Next week will be a two in one. 

Only Boo! (Sun YT) ep 12fin - Okay, that’s it, I guess?

Summary:

An idol romance about a sunshine boy who dances good and wants to be a star and a reserved food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks, grumpy/sunshine pair who fall in love but, of course, to be an idol baby boy can't date. It wasn’t particularly bad, it wasn’t particularly good either. 7/10

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) Ep 1 of 10 - A new series adaptation of beloved yaoi I Hear the Sunspot (first adaptation was feature film Silhouette of Your Voice 2017).

I expected the soundscapes in this one to be fantastic, but I didn’t expect the filming to be something special too. But it really is. I’m not gonna lie, I'm nervous about this show because I love the manga and was disappointed by the film, but we were off to a really good start. First names already? So cute. I love them.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Shy awkward Taishin goes to a Tokyo university in order to reunite with Takara, a stranger who consoled him over the loss of a parrot the year prior. He finally gets a chance to express his gratitude but is given the cold shoulder. (My thoughts this weekend's round up)

I can't believe Japan is holding it down for the non Thai BL. I mean to say.... JAPAN!!! What alt reality are we living in? It being Japan, I'm scared of the ending.

It's airing but...

Blue Boys is still going on and I'm still enjoying it (despite the cheating) but I don't know when it drops or where it's going, so I will report in at the end. When they tell me it's ended.

The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I've put the search on hold for and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down once it ends?

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution. I demand you tell me the moment you find it!

Next Week Looks Like This:

NO IMG - we half way through this week already - sorry.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

July Releases to Come

7/5 This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Thai iQIYI) - trailer here, The PittBabe team behind a new restaurant set BL full of hidden agendas and starring my new favorites SailubPon. Delightful!

7/10 Century of Love (Thai Gaga) 10 eps - trailer here, DaouOffroad are back, this time as fated mates in a quasi historical paranormal moment. San has spent many lifetimes waiting for his lost beloved, to reincarnate from her death a century ago. But if he fails to find her within this century's time window, he will succumb to a tragic death. And this time she's a boy. Very much Director Who Buys Me Dinner meets First Love Again, hopefully better than both. I love this pair and think they can handle the premise, it's whether the storytelling is up to the challenge. I'm curious to see but I have reservations.

7/26 4 Minutes (Thai Netflix or iQIYI?) - Great is a university student from Faculty of Business and the son of a wealthy business owner. Out of the blue, he gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future.

7/29 Battle of the Writers (Thai ????) - trailer here, TutorYim return and while I adore them, I really hope this is better than Middleman's Love. Won't be hard. However: that premise! Ugh. Something something authors fighting - save me. Why don't writers understand that nothing is more boring than writers?

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Defining @heretherebedork 's favorite endearment of "tiny idiot."

I love him. I also love what a class act they both were about this turn down. Thailand shows Korea how to handle a love triangle by NOT HAVING ONE.

Both We Are.

We stand a lap sit on this blog, but I think this is my first lap spin! I adored it! (Sunset X Vibes)

It's fun to watch them follow the original narrative but with these cute little Thai twists. Sometimes these are shifted for language reasons, sometimes for cultural, and sometimes I think just to draw a clear distinction from the JBL. I'm not mad about any of it. (My Love Mix Up)

Not just for you, honey. Truer words were never spoken. Yak is the biggest green flag ever to walk BL's verdant earth.

Linguistic corner!

I love this way of putting the translation. Usually, in Thai, the phrase used means "he's my happiness" (sounds like: kwamsook). To use sabai is different. Sabai more ubiquitous (sabai is one of the most commonly used phrases in Thailand) but also so different from the usual phrase we hear in ThBL at this moment. Thus, this execution is special, particularly from a doctor. I'm not quite sure how to put it but sabai can also be translated as feeling well, as in, not ill. So there is a way of looking at Wandee saying Yak is both his peace of mind and good for his health and well being.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[dix0nvix3n]

𖤓°⋆ Chapter 1 °⋆𖤓

⋆☀︎｡Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader  ⋆☀︎｡Media: The Walking Dead; No Apocalypse & Alternate Universe ⋆☀︎｡Pronouns: She/Her  ⋆☀︎｡ Warning: Smoking (Cigarettes), One mention of weed, Talk of a bad past relationship. (That's it I think?) ⋆☀︎｡ Word Count: 2.5k

⋆☀︎｡ Author's Note: It's finally here... the beginning of my magnum opus. Even though I only have this one chapter out, there hasn't been a single day since I came up with the idea for the fic where I didn't think about it at least once. I just wanna thank all the people who let me infodump about it; y'all are true soldiers, cause I can really ramble on. Special thanks to @sinkdownbeneath for helping me write the intro because I was completely stuck for months with almost nothing to show, and being the person who let me yap the most, he can account for me pretty much talking about it every day for the past five months. So, anyway, I guess I hope y'all like my first finished something that wasn't just a blurb. Last night I only had a little over 200 words at 10 PM something, and now it's 7:44 AM with 2.5k words as I write this... I don't know what got into me, but anyway, enjoy!

June 1st, 1992

Daryl finds himself propped up against a tree, catching his breath. The cool summer air around him makes his chest ache with every breath he takes. He had been running, hearing the twigs snap and the leaves crunch beneath his feet as he darted past every tree, trying to evade potential capture from a party that had him jumping out a window when the cops showed up due to a noise complaint.

He spent much of his life within the comfort of the woodland, underneath the thick canopy of leaves and branches, the first roof he ever felt safe under.

He gasped for air, his legs exhausted and his lungs overworked, adrenaline still pulsing through him as he slid down the rough bark of a tree, pulling his legs up to his chest.

He's close to the road, hearing a solitary car cruise past. He can tell it's late from the stars that peek through the leaves that loom above him in the thick black sky, but he spots his glimmer of hope, which seems to be the soft light of a gas station just a bit beyond the road's traffic barrier closest to him.

With a deep inhale, Daryl knew he had to walk to the gas station and reluctantly call for a ride in a phone booth.

After fully catching his breath, he pulled himself off the ground and began walking towards the gas station, already dreading the thought of the phone call.

Reaching the gas station, he saw two cars; one belonged to the lone worker at the cash register inside, and the other belonged to a woman smoking a cigarette at the side of the building. The woman did a quick wave at him, which he found to be a little odd just because most people at this time of night aren't too friendly, but he gave a polite wave back anyway. 

Finally getting up to the phone booth, Daryl looked down at his watch, which read 1:00 AM, causing him to let out a deep sigh, realizing how late it was and how much of an inconvenience it would be for someone to come and pick him up. 

He stepped inside the phone booth, staring at the phone for a minute before popping in the quarters he luckily grabbed from the living room floor of the party. If he hadn't grabbed them, he'd be completely fucked and have to figure out his way back to his apartment.

After dialing the number he knew would pick up, the phone rang just a few times before a tired and clearly just woken up by a phone at one in the morning voice picked up.

"Hey, Mr. H... Could ya pick me up?"

"Thanks. 'm sorry about this; kinda just started walking and didn't stop. Ended up at some party, and now I don' know where I am."

"Yeah. Place is called Peachy Speed, never seen another gas station called this; it must be family-owned or somethin' and the closest road sign says it's on Navel Street. You know where I'm at?"

"Okay, cool. See ya in a bit. Sorry again."

After hanging up, Daryl stepped out of the phone booth with his head held down, letting out a deep exhale and running a hand through his hair until he heard a pair of feet shuffling up to him.

He looked up to see who it was, and it was you, the woman who waved at him.

"Need one?" You held out an open pack of Marlboro Reds, with only one cigarette missing from the pack.

"Oh. Yeah. Thanks." His thoughts stuttered for a moment because he was caught up in the fact that you came over to him. You're really pretty, and now Daryl feels like a nervous schoolboy trying to ask a girl to the prom just because of a simple gesture.

He grabbed a cigarette out of the box and reached to pull his lighter out of his pocket, only not to feel it, and checked the other pocket to have the same luck. "Shit."

You let out a small chuckle. "Need a light too?” You pulled a lighter out of your pocket and handed it over to him.

He nodded his thanks and popped the cig in his mouth before lifting the black bic with a spiderweb seemingly hand-painted on up to the end of the stick. Flicking the flame to life, he took a long inhale and handed you back the lighter, as he really took a moment to take in the sight of you. 

You were in a black tank top tucked into a pair of black ripped jean shorts. Under the pair of jean shorts were fishnets with an intricate pattern of moons and stars, and you had on a pair of slightly battered-up Doc Martens. 

As he exhaled the first plume of smoke into the night sky, he saw your kind smile, which sent a rush of warmth through his face. Your lips had a simple gloss on them, but your eyes were a different story, painted with smokey eyeshadow, sharp graphic eyeliner, and two rounds of mascara on each set of your top lashes. He also noticed the simple yet pretty titanium stud on the left side of your nose and two helix rings on both your ears.

He thought you were gorgeous, his heartbeat a slightly faster pace than what it normally rested at.

"Rough night?" You asked as you lit up a cigarette for yourself, letting out a slight gag at the taste and smell that you weren't used to, which caused Daryl to let out a small chuckle.

"Sorta. More of just hated the fact I had to call and wake someone up to come and get me. First time smokin'?" He said before he took another drag.

"How'd you know?" You said sarcastically as your face contorted in disgust a bit at the taste building up in your mouth and throat after each puff.

"Maybe try a different brand. You'll find one ya like." A small smile graced his lips as he butted off the ash at the end and took another drag. 

"Nah. Think I'm quitting after this one. I'll just stick to weed."

He let out a chuckle. "May I ask, why'd ya even start?"

You let out a small groan, running your hand through your hair in slight embarrassment. "I finally left my shitty boyfriend once and for all. I finally realized he'd never like me for the real me. I constantly had to put on this mask around him, and I finally found out that it was impossible to fix him and the fact he didn't actually like me. I know it sounds weird, but I guess my thought process was that my epiphany about him would stick with me after smoking one like a character in a movie or something." You let out a laugh. "Stupid, right?" 

He snubbed out the end of the cigarette, as it was almost a roach at this point. "Nah, it ain't stupid. A lot of my best thoughts come after smokin' one, cleared my head more times than I can count. You deserve one after the bullshit he put you through, I think. Hope the prick is havin' a shit night after realizin' he's lost you cause ya seem awesome to me so far."

You felt warmth begin to rise in your cheeks at his words. "Thanks. I know I deserve better. I'm just pissed; it took me so long to realize it. So, anyway, what's your name? I can't believe I haven't asked yet."

"Name's Daryl; what's yours?"

You had a few good puffs left of your cig but decided to snub yours out as well since you didn't like it anyway. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Daryl. My name is (Y/N). Do you wanna come sit with me at my spot against the wall? My most likely melted slushy is calling my name to get this taste out of my mouth." 

"Yeah, I can. Might be a bit till my ride gets here, so I might as well sit down." He started walking to your spot, and you followed in tow. 

When you got back to your spot, you looked down at your slushy on the ground. The dark purple concoction of blue raspberry and cherry slushy combo was completely melted. "Goddammit." You didn't fully care though; you paid for that slushy, because you were stubborn it meant you were going to have all of what you paid for, so you drank down the rest of the sugary liquid with a satisfied sigh. It was luckily still cold, at least, and it was just what you needed to get the taste of the cigarette out of your mouth.

As time passed, you and Daryl talked about whatever came to mind as you doodled some intricate pattern on the front of the pack of the Marlboro Reds with a sharpie, ultimately moving to the back when you ran out of room. You found out that he works as a mechanic for motorcycles and cars at a nearby auto body shop, that he rides a motorcycle that he built himself a few years ago, that he loves to hunt on occasion, specifically with a crossbow, and that he ran from the cops at a house party tonight.

You knew your short time with Daryl was up when you saw a 1987 Ford Sierra MK2 pull into a parking spot at the gas station, and Daryl stood up, doing a quick stretch. The man in the car smiled and made a small wave at you, and you did the same back.

"It was nice meetin' ya, (Y/N). I'd talk more, but I don't wanna keep him up any longer." He said as he gestured a hand towards the man who came to pick him up. 

"It was nice meeting you too. Thanks for talking to me, Daryl." You pulled the pack of cigarettes from your pocket and held them out to him. "Take these. You need them more than me. Plus, I just quit." You grinned at him as he took the box from you. 

"Holy shit, thank you." He smiled back as he placed the box in his own pocket and slowly started walking backward towards the car. "Hope ya have a good night and that Nick the dick has a shit one. 

You let out a laugh at the nickname Daryl gave your ex-boyfriend and waved him goodbye with a "You too." You leaned your head back against the wall, staring up at the night sky as your eyes finally began to feel tired, knowing you should head back to your friend's apartment soon and try and get some sleep before your nine AM shift. 

Once Daryl got in the car, he let out a quiet sigh as he looked out the window at you, wishing he dared to ask for your number. You were the first good conversation he'd had in a while, and his schoolboy-like crush on you kept growing the whole time you talked.

"So, who's that?" The man said as he shifted the car into gear, Daryl noticing the grin on his face.

"A girl that started talkin' to me after our call. Name's (Y/N)." He pulled the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, mindlessly tracing the pattern of doodles you did.

"You ask for her number? The car was now beginning to be backed out of its parking spot.

"Nah. Mind if I smoke?" Daryl shook the pack and began looking for one of the lighters he left in the glove compartment a few weeks ago. 

The man shook his head with a slight sigh and said, "Go ahead." He wasn't shaking his head over Daryl wanting to smoke, but over the fact he wouldn't ask for your number when he obviously liked you, but he knew he couldn't push him; he understood Daryl's nature.

Daryl looked back out the window at you, opening it as he blew out the first cloud of smoke. He then looked back down in his lap where the box lay, flipping it over to the back to see what you had drawn there as well. His breath hitched as he saw it. On the back was your phone number, and above it said, "Call me" with a smiley face. 

The tips of Daryl's ears were beet red, and he tried to hold back his face from turning the same color. He looked back out the window at you to see you grinning at him this time, to which he smiled and waved goodbye to you as the car pulled out of the lot. In Daryl's twenty-three years of life, he could say that this night was one of his best.

"Daryl, why'd you call me Mr. H again? Son, you've known me for five years; how many times do I gotta remind you to call me by my name? It's Dale for you."

Daryl let out a small cloud of smoke this time, wanting to savor this one on the peaceful ride back. "I'll tell ya again, it happens when I'm nervous; didn't wanna wake you up, s'all, and you still are my boss after all."

"Daryl, you're like a son to me, and I told you to never be nervous if you need help, and that includes coming and picking you up in the middle of the night if needed. I'm here for you." Dale placed his right hand on Daryl's shoulder, keeping his left on the wheel as he squeezed his shoulder lightly before returning it to the steering wheel.

"Now, it's not Mr. H or Mr. Horvath, son. It's Dale."

Daryl rolled his eyes playfully. "Yes, sir," he joked, letting out a chuckle.

It was the next day around 10:30 PM when Daryl picked up the phone on his nightstand and finally called the number you gave him, nervously wrapping the cord around his finger. The phone only rang twice before the other end picked up, "Hey, is this (Y/N)?" 

The inner teenage girl in your brain screamed in excitement, so happy that he finally called. "Omg, Daryl! I was wondering when you were gonna call me. I've been waiting since I got off my shift."

"Didn't know if you worked a mornin' shift or got off at night, and I didn't wanna leave too many voicemails on your friend's phone."

"Yeah, I worked a morning shift at the diner today. I got off at five. Morning shifts are the fucking worst." You're lying on your stomach on the couch, playfully curling the phone's cord around your finger and kicking your feet back and forth in the air.

You and Daryl talked for an hour, mainly talking about the shitty customers you dealt with today, sounding especially frustrated about the woman who yelled at you just because the diner was out of unsweet tea that you couldn't do anything about because the place was also out of tea bags to make more. What did she want you to do? Just up and leave your job and go buy the tea bags, your fucking self?

"Even though I don't want to, I gotta go to bed 'cause I have another morning shift tomorrow. I get off at five, so call me around six-thirty, okay?" 

"I get off at five too. Works for me. Goodnight, (Y/N)."

"Goodnight to you too, Daryl."

The call ended, and you both looked up at your respective ceilings, smiling as warmth bloomed through your faces. You both slept well that night, falling asleep to the thought of calling each other tomorrow.

⋆☀︎｡ Extra author's note: Here's what Dale would look like in 1992, I took Dale's age of 64 from the show since the apocalypse started in 2010 so he'd be 46 in 1992. I think this picture of Jeffrey Demunn is from when he was 43 maybe? I can't remember but that's close enough to 46 and even if he isn't 43 in the image he fits the look of someone in their mid-forties. Just imagine him without the cowboy hat, okay? There's not a lot of pictures of him when he was younger.

⋆☀︎｡ Taglist: @mrdixon , @yevmarie , and @shadowcitrine

⋆☀︎｡ Divider creds: @ saradika, go check her account out! She has some very cute dividers!

[jareaul0ver]

loml

wc: 1.8k warnings: kate being a bad gf, straight angst, no happy ending (sorry! no im not) pairings: kate martin x fem!reader

January, 2023

You sat courtside of an Iowa game, your eyes trained on your girlfriend the whole time. On the court, off the court, she was yours. Every basket she'd make, she'd immediately point to you.

The fans loved it. She loved it. You loved it. You wore her jersey with pride, letting everyone know you were hers. Two years into your relationship, it never got old.

The second the buzzer rang out, she searched the stands for you, noticing how you hustled down the stairs to rush to the court. To rush to her.

Your arms found her neck and hers your waist. She spun you around before placing a kiss against your lips. "Good job out there, K-Money." You giggled.

She laughed softly and hugged you against her. "Always have to do good for you, baby." Her pet names for you never failed to make your knees weak.

After her post-game responsibilities, you both headed to her suite. You laid on her bed, her head resting against your chest as you ran you fingers through her long blonde hair.

"I'm gonna marry you one day, Kate." You mumbled. Her eyes shot open and she sat up straight to look at you.

Your heart almost dropped when she didn't say anything. When she didn't kiss you, or hug you, or even smile. That feeling only lasted a quick moment though, before she pressed her lips firmly against yours.

"You're the love of my life." She whispered against your lips. Tingles shot down your spine.

Early May, 2023

"Where the hell are you taking me?" You laughed as Kate forced you into the passenger seat of her car, shutting the door before walking around and getting in herself.

With a bright smile she leaned in and pecked your lips. "To your surprise."

You rolled your eyes but grinned. She started the car and drove away from campus. Her car was beginning to fill with everything she needed to take home from campus, as it was almost the end of her final year at Iowa.

She drove for a bit before pulling into the parking garage underneath an apartment complex. "Are we visiting someone?" You asked, confusion evident in your voice.

"Uh, no." She said quickly before putting the car in park, hopping out, and rushing around to the other side to open your door.

"Then what-"

"Just trust me." She said softly. You nodded and she took your hand in hers, taking you over to the elevator. She pressed the button to the fourth floor, and one silent ride later, you arrived.

She walked you down the hallway to apartment 403, and pulled out a key. The door was quickly unlocked and swung open. Both of you stepped in and you looked around at the empty apartment.

"Surprise!" She said from behind you. You spun around and looked at her as she held up a small sign, her name and yours carved into it, above the word "home".

Your eyes widened and your lips twitched into a smile. "You're kidding. You're kidding!" You squealed, launching yourself into Kate's arms.

She laughed and held you tight against her. "I'm not kidding." She leaned back, forcing you to look at her. Her hand gently cupped your face, her eyes peering into yours. "I want this with you. Forever."

"Forever." You whispered back.

Early June, 2023

Moving in with Kate should have been the best thing that you two could have done. With you still being in school, living with her took away the stress of having to worry about paying for housing on campus.

She was still focused on basketball, planning to stay with Iowa for a fifth year since she was eligible. It was supposed to be perfect.

But it had only been a month and it was already hell.

You argued constantly. Not even over anything worth arguing about, but she seemed to always want to pick a fight with you. She was rarely ever home, always practicing during the day and going out with the team during the night.

One night she came home particularly drunk. You were up late, working on something for a summer course that you had opted to take, freeing up a slot in your fall semester.

"Babe?" She shouted the second she walked in the door. You winced a bit at the loudness of her voice. You were sitting right there, on the sofa that was directly in her line of sight.

"Hm?" You said, annoyance evident in your voice, but Kate chose to ignore it. She came over to you and pulled your laptop away from you, closing it and tossing it to the other side of the couch. "Kate, what the hell-"

She sat next to you on the couch before putting all her weight onto you, her body slumping against yours. You tried to push her off, but couldn't. Damn her athleticism.

"Get off, Kate, I have to finish something." You reached for your laptop but she grabbed your hand and pulled it down.

"You don't wanna lay with me?" She slurred, the smell of alcohol strong on her breath.

You sighed, once against trying to push her away. "No, frankly, I don't."

She sat up and the smug smile on her face faltered. "Why're you being a bitch?" She spat.

"Excuse me?" You scoffed.

"You're being a bitch." She made sure to emphasize it this time. You knew she was drunk, but it still didn't make it hurt any less.

You stood up and took a few steps away. "I'm not dealing with this right now. You're drunk, you're sleeping on the couch tonight." You quickly walked towards your bedroom and shut the door behind you.

Late June, 2023

The last month had been incredibly tense. You and Kate both decided to pretend that there was nothing wrong, even though there clearly was.

You were walking on eggshells around her, scared that one wrong move would send her running.

You were surprised when she invited you to go out with her and her friends from the basketball team, but you happily went along, hoping to make some relationship amends during the night.

Everyone sat in a huge booth at a random bar one of the girls found. Kate excused herself to go grab a drink for herself, so you sat awkwardly, as you didn't know any of her friends very well.

Jada called out your name and your head snapped in her direction. You held a small smile, while her face was a little confused. "I'm surprised Kate invited you, to be honest."

Your smile faded. "What do you mean?"

"She said you two weren't doing too well. That you were really pissy with her all the time, starting stupid fights and shit." She shrugged. "Thought she would have broken up with you by now based off the things she's said."

The room went silent. Your heart dropped. Was this true? The look on Jada's face silently assured you that it was.

Tears started to well in your eyes and you excused yourself from the table, quickly going outside to get some air.

When Kate returned to the table, she noticed you were gone. Jada nodded towards the exit and Kate started walking towards it. She opened the door and saw you outside, sitting on the curb with tears in your eyes.

She moved over and put her hand on your shoulder. "Baby? What's wrong?" You turned at the sound of her voice and pulled away from her.

"You don't get to call me that anymore." Your voice was shaky, but was laced with malice.

"What?" She laughed, a little confused. "What're you talking about?" She stepped towards you, reaching out but you backed away.

You shook your head and scoffed. "You talked shit about me to your friends behind my back, and expect me to be okay with it?" Kate froze and her eyes widened. She opened her mouth to speak but you cut her off.

"After everything I've done for you. After everything we've been through together, you go and do this?" Tears ran down your face. "Fuck you, Kate. I'm done. This is done."

"You're really ending this over something so fucking stupid?” She scoffed, crossing her arms.

Your eyes widened. “You think this is stupid? Jada was surprised I was here. Jada was surprised you haven’t ended things yet.”

Kate stayed silent, the look on her face was unreadable, something that came as a shock to you. You thought you knew her. You had been together for nearly three years, but now she seems like a stranger.

“You said I was the love of your life, Kate.” Your voice broke.

A beat of silence passed between the two of you, the only sound being heard was your chest heaving and the music blasting from inside.

“I was wrong.” She said flatly before turning around to walk back inside. “Have your stuff gone by this weekend.”

You watched her walk back inside. The second she stepped foot past those doors, you knew it was over. She was never coming back, and you’d have to accept that.

April 15, 2024

You sat comfortably on your couch, flipping through the channels of your television, until you came across the one you were looking for.

You transferred to UConn early in the year. It hurt too much to see Kate being so successful on the basketball team. Every little thing in Iowa was a reminder of her, and you needed to escape.

Figures you ended up at the school that got knocked out by Iowa in the final four, but how were you supposed to predict that?

Things were different at first. You felt out of place, a stranger to everything in Storrs, but you quickly adjusted, meeting some of your best friends.

Those best friends happened to play basketball. Paige, Nika, Azzi, practically the whole team came to love you. So you had to support them. You attended their home games, even the ones against Iowa. It hurt seeing Kate, it hurt more than anything had ever hurt you in your life.

But you pushed it aside. You were there for your friends, not your ex-lover who treated you like a piece of garbage.

You watched the draft, not being surprised by most of the players getting drafted. Aaliyah, one of your closest friends, being picked at 6th. Nika at 12th.

The smile never left your face. Your pride for your friends shining in your eyes, evident in the texts you immediately sent after their names were called.

That smile faded, though, at the 18th overall pick. “The Las Vegas Aces select… Kate Martin.”

Kate stood up, hugging all those around her, feeling incomplete. She shouldn’t, though. She just got drafted to the WNBA. What could be missing?

She walked to the stage, took a picture, did her small interview and the draft commenced on. The smile she had on her face was real, sure, but it wasn’t nearly as real as it was whenever she used to be with you.

As she stood there, processing everything that happened, she realized the thing she was missing was you. She was incomplete without you.

But it was too late now, you were the loss of her life.

[hedgehog-moss]

Summer fun with Poldine <3 We've come a long way since her first hike, back in June! We've been going to the torrent regularly all summer and she's now familiar with the place and a lot more confident in the water. She seemed to enjoy wading in ankle-deep water from the start, but places where the water starts to reach her belly were a different story! And waterfalls were yet another challenge.

She's so brave though. She'll need to snuggle very close to you and occasionally kiss your cheek to reassure herself (the above pic also features a nervous forehead-kiss) but she'll accept to go very near these thunderously-loud unknown entities if you stay with her.

(if some pics in this post look like they were taken in 1897 and then colorised it's because they are screenshots from videos that were sent to me in low quality so it wouldn't take 2 days for my weak wifi to download them)

Another important Poldine fact (besides her bravery) is that despite being 18 months-old she's still a bit of a toddler : she thinks Only She is cute enough to be allowed to be annoying. She'll happily stomp her little foot right next to you to splash you with cold water, but SHOCK and OUTRAGE if you do it to her. Here I am gently sprinkling her with 5 droplets of water and she's swerving away from me in the most dramatic and indignant way

She's looking at me in the exact same way she looked at Pyrgus in this post. The Pampoldine Death Glare.

There's an impenetrable jungle of blackberry bushes on the way home from the torrent (every year the first task of summer is to open a path through it all over again), and lately she got used to stopping there for a reward-snack after every swim.

You need good reflexes if you want to eat some blackberries yourself because by the time you've spotted a nice ripe one, Poldine will have spotted it too and she'll reach for it with her long neck over your shoulder swift as a rattlesnake.

Another cool Poldine fact is that if she overhears me telling my visiting friends or cousins "You'll see, we've made so much progress, she goes into the deep water now!" then it will be the day when she refuses to do so and pretends she has never seen this stream in her life.

(warning: nothing happens, I'm just like hey Poldinou you should come here where it's deeper, the water's so nice and safe and refreshing and she's like I don't believe you ://) (2 min after this video ended, she abandoned me and hurried back to the bank in a fit of panic for absolutely no reason.) (something touched her foot underwater) (allegedly)

On the other hand if she overhears me telling people "well I don't know if she'll go in the water with us, sometimes she's skittish about it" then it will be the day when she throws herself in like a delighted duck, taking everyone by surprise.

Just like Pampe when she was so polite with the shearer it was almost disturbing, right after I described her as a difficult llama. Pampérigouste has taught her daughter the benefits of being unlikely forever and Pampoldine took it to heart, in her own ethical way.

[arsenal-womens-1]

Marry me 2

Any translation or places are from google so sorry if there wrong

12th June 2021

Your phone dings; it's an Instagram notification: kyracooneyx has added you. Opening your phone, you go to Instagram, go to her profile, and accept the request. Opening DMs, you start typing.

You: Hey

Kyra: Hey! You played really well yesterday. How are you feeling? I hear that you were sick?

You: Thanks, you too! I’m feeling better now, I just had some nerves. How about you?

Kyra: I get that. I’m good, just glad to get some game time. What’s it like playing for Denmark?

You: It’s amazing but also a bit overwhelming. Still getting used to everything. What about you? How long have you been with the Australian team?

Kyra: Yesterday was my debut. What's Denmark like?

You: It’s nice to be home for a bit. Miss England a bit though. How about you, what's Australia like?

Kyra: It's good, hot but good. Maybe we can grab coffee or something before I leave tomorrow?

You: That sounds great! Would love to. How’s 5 pm today sound?

Kyra: Sounds good. Looking forward to it, I have to go, sorry. See you soon!

You: K, bye. I'll text you the address.

As you send the message, you can't help but feel a flutter of excitement. You have never felt this feeling before. Going on Google, you look up coffee shops nearby and find one that looks nice. You copy the address and open your texts.

You: Hey, I found this coffee shop: Søndergade 10, 8700 Horsens, on Google. I guess I'll see you soon.

Looking at the time, 14:02, you get up and walk over to the suitcase that lies on the floor. Picking out an Adidas jumper, you pick up the matching bottoms. Getting changed, you walk over to the door, picking up the closest pair of shoes. Putting them on, you walk out the door. Seeing a few of your Dutch teammates, you hide around a corner, knowing if they saw you, they would want to know where you were going. Once they were gone, you run to the stairs, hoping it would be safer than going in the elevator. Speed walking out of the hostel, the sound of cars and people fills your ears. Feeling your phone go off, you look at it.

Kyra: Hey, I’m so sorry, but I'm going to be like 5 minutes late. The meeting lasted longer than I thought it would.

You: It's all good. Don't worry about it. See you soon.

About 10 minutes later, you walk into the coffee shop and take a seat next to a window. You watch as people pass by outside. A few minutes after sitting down, you see the familiar brown-haired girl walk in. As she walks over to the table, you give her a little smile.

“Hey,” you say, trying not to let her see how nervous you are.

[captain-n-crunchies]

My Perfect

L x Chubby Reader

A.N: ( See even though im like late I STILL POSTED! im on like grind yall but, this man so fine I'm like i must write my deepest soul wrenching words about him)

I'm not perfect.

That's it. I tried every day as a kid to be perfect; pretty hair, small frame, soft voice everything to look desirable to others I tried to be. In high school I needed to be bold, thicker but not too thick, tall but too tall; never speak overly passionate it was a turn off, don't wear too much makeup it's like I'm a slut, and never can venture out and find a comfortable look for me. I never let the girl inside eat.

I wasn't berated though? Yes, I got stares when I wore something sitting and people saw my stomach, like yes mothafucka I got a stomach y'all thought it was a huge ass pot in my shirt? Yes, I did get the ' I'm sO cOnFideNt!' talk when I ate something like fruit, who doesn't like pineapple? When shopping I had looks of could I fit this or that and nobody ever comforted me when I would cry about not fitting jeans.

I was never perfect. But he never cared.

*Back to when Light didn't find the Death Note yet*

Log In: June 23, 2017

" What are you having for lunch?" was asked by my closest coworker, Maria she and I was friends since our college days when cramming information about law, statistics, and for some reason Shakespeare; we were forever. I turned to her in this damn rolling chair that was obviously not made for a girl with that thang back there, I mean why is half my leg practically on the floor? I thought about it for a second.

" I could go for quick burger, what about you?

" That's fine! Also did you finish your report? I didn't even get to..." I just stared at her though my head in space, Maria turned to see what I'm looking at and she saw a strange man walking inside the room.

" Um...I don't think he works here?"

" Is this when we got to fight for our lives? I don't have no weapon."

The man tall, dark unruly hair not curly though it looks like a one of those emo people from the 2000's like my chemical romance vibes, he has a homeless man look on him...its kind of sexy thought but, he doesn't work here?

We watch him while towards us and goes to the head manager cubicle that two rows ahead of us. We look at each other and look down acting like we're working but, we really being nosy. We hear only indicant chatter and the strange man's voice, his name is Riuzaki? Or Rukai? I don't know and our manager asked again, and he ignored the question and started talking about something different. Kind of rude but, with the way our manager is I'd do the same; Maria looks at me and looks at the time and tells me it our lunch break so, we both get up and I make sure to push down my jacket a habit I did as a teen to look slimmer, we walk out and down the little pathway to the front of the office when we get close to the strange man I turn my head down, his eyes immediately traced to me and he stared at me and he turned, kind of weird his eye contact was intense!

We walked over to the company lunch places inside it's a tiny burger spot filled with American dishes; we haven't really eaten there so we decided to try it out since it was also raining. Maria order first, a chicken salad with extra chicken and cheese with a large drink and dessert then it's me, a cheeseburger with fries and a large drink with a cookie; we wait a bit and sat down at a two-seat table and we talk about the sight we just saw.

" I wonder if he's trying to get a job here? "

" For what though? we ain't got nothing available yet."

" What if they fired somebody!? I heard but I didn't hear from department C that somebody was overusing company resources and they got let go."

" Omg, who?" Maria was going to say but we hear a buzz, and our food was ready we grabbed a tray and the person who gave us our orders gives me a look, ya'know the look of ' Breaking that diet huh?' Its common but still is annoying so I mean mug him back and he backs off. Sitting down we talk about our topics of choice like vacations, fashion trends, the latest news when the man from earlier comes down; didn't even see him till he pulled up a chair beside me and stared. Like what?

" Oh, Hello!" I introduced myself and Maria does the same, but how says nothing and stared at me.

" Are you going to eat that?" He points at a strawberry cookie I got, I look and shake my head "no' even though I was saving it I give it to him and smiled. He takes it and thanks me and then turned to Maria and asked how she feels about the company. Now, Maria is a sweet girl but, if she can't say her opinion without lying so she tries to say it's wonderful but, he caught on.

" Don't lie. I'm not going to do anything."

" Oh! but I'm not! really it's a won-"

" Your eyes turned up, when some people lie, they eyes turn up to think of somethings. Your hands turned over into a clasped position saying you're more of nervous than calm when I asked."

She's shocked and so am I, he takes a bite of the cookie and then looks at me to which I look away and he stares at me; deep black eyes pierced into, and I just look away because if I looked back what if he jumps me and I gotta kick and scream like that would be so embarrassing!

" Are you nervous?

" No, never"

" Hm...You look uncomfortable" He continued eating and I looked at Maria with a head tilt.

" So, what's making me uncomfortable."

" Your clothes, your shoes are hurting your feet by the way you walked quickly, and you have the heels of them off" He responded quickly, and I was shocked I mean he didn't lie. I just look and Maria excused her and mouthed ' Whoop his ass' and went to the bathroom, so now it's just us. We look at each other and I just shook my head and began eating again. He just looks at me and then turns his body towards me completely.

" What?"

" Do you like your position here?"

If I had the choice between working here and $20, I would pick $20 and a bag of skittles, it has it benefits from time to time but it not worth the headaches and long hours and I tell him just that. He hums and says nobody ever been that honest and I could care less, I listen and eat when he asked another question.

" If you're really don't like how you look why don't you change it"

It wasn't even a question it was like a statement like he knew, he knew from when he stared at me, he watched me. I look at him shocked and I just chuckled and threw the rest of my food away and left, texting Maria that I got sick. Walking away I see him get up and follow me, so ignored him; he just walked beside me and just looks either at me or around him hunched over like he finna throw up. Like what compells somebody to say that? Did he think I'm the one to try to play around with thing you'll get a good joke ooutta me? I should've shoved that damn drink up his stuck up ugy big headed-

" Your mumbling"

"...ok"

" If what I said made you mad just say it"

" If I did I'll go to jail for man slaughter."

He just chuckled, even though I'm pissed he sounded a little smexyyy but, I'll still beat his ass. I keep walking towards the parking lot, and he grabbed my arm asking can he be honest.

" I mean if back there wasn't honest I don't know what is"

He just stared (he got a staring problem) and began talking about how he meant that he saw me adjusting my jacket a habit he saw a lot of girls do when they want to look slimmer, then he saw the look his manger gave us me when I walked past, he said it was in utter disgust. As he went on all the insecurities from the past came again the girl inside of me just began to show, I looked at him blank, my hands started to sweat, my thoughts ran through me like a train, and I couldn't hold it anymore as a sob slipped through like butter from my mouth. I wiped my face and took a deep breath.

" Being a girl in Japan is hard, being black in Japan is harder, being a fat girl and black in Japan is like a war zone every day in my mind. From stares, to the so called ' complements', to everything inside growing out of me is like a constant war zone. Having men look at me like a 3rd class citizen is the problem, having girls treat me like I'm beneath them was the problem and no one had a problem with it."

" But who could care? It's not like I can change what they say with the attitude they expect from a black girl. I'm not perfect but, they wanted me to be and how am I going to achieve that? Huh?"

I stopped for one second and he just said nothing, all the bottled-up feelings I've had just overwhelmed me and I overshared.

" I think your perfect"

" Lying is a sin ya'know"

" Then good I'm an atheist. Your look is perfect."

How can somebody look perfect? With a body like this, my skin to people in this country are like a permanent plague, and my hair is just a warning to them on its own. I am not perfect, but he thinks I am. He's trying to help me feel better and it's not going to work.

" If this is perfect then-'

" You're not going to believe something if you denie it so much."

This man says that beautiful is different to everyone, like what people grew up with which is skinny, fair skin, and cute people they think it's a standard and everyone that's not all three of those traits are ugly. He said the way I feel is how he felt as a child he was never built manly, he was always so small and skinny people thought he was sick. It never bothered him; he seemed wiser as a kid then the whole world at its years; I couldn't even disagree with any statements I always found how people views change when they see unique things or common things and associate them with ugliness or beauty.

" For a homeless man your very smart"

"...I'm not homeless."

" Oh...then why you dress like you've seen a clothing store in life."

" I have seen a clothing store. I just don't see the appeal of dressing up."

He's an emo hippie. But nevertheless, I just listen and make my own few points. We continued walking and he stops me again.

" What's your name?"

" Reader Last Name, and your?

" Call me L"

' Hello L"

" Hello Reader"

Now we walk in comfortable silence, by the time I'm by the garage L asked for my number, his contact now ' Emo Hippie' and mines?

'My Perfect'

A.N: ( i finshed! I love this one because i feel this irl about my body type but, i got over it and it's kind of hard to write L's dialogue without making him sound rude because he's only nonchalant. But, let me know if you like it!

[starrbright]

𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐔𝐒 || 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐁𝐄

Creatures of nightmares that crawl from nothing to land he's dealt with for so long, he himself bounded to those, unthinkable abilities he wields; he never questioned reality. But there's an impenetrable sense of high he's in as he fixes in your softness, it doesn't feel real. It's peaceful, he thinks that is what dreaming is.

Kishibe finds his demise not to be of devils, fiends, wars—not even of death.

images used: X | X

April 2023 - April and June 2024. about fucking time. to the ones that encouraged me to start writing for csm, i'm truly so sorry for the long delay. when i started this piece for him, i was focused and suddenly i wasn't and a lot kept happening and i didn't want to touch this until i was on it entirely, i wanted this to be perfect, so i shelved it. and i hope the waiting does the justice. the lack of works for this anime with us fat readers is what started this all and you encouraged me, so thank you for that🙇🏽‍♀️🙏🏼. writing the end of this was so difficult, i'm so sorry again this kept delaying.

if you've read the manga or watched the show, you may have noticed or not—and that i've only realized i didn't address reader's contract with devils in the previous works in this series and in this one, the case is still the same 😁 because, honestly, i just forgot about it. apologies for that

nearing 8k words. all my y/n are afab, fat and of color. Reader is in 50's. with two children. a ten and four years old. divorced. ex-devil hunter. kishibe hums a lot here because he does that a lot. he barely talks as well, that's how i headcanon him, i just can't see him saying too many things that wouldn't be from someone like him🙁 slight slowburn. a tiniest tinge of crack. one thing about me in my works is i will always inject my pride in my characters! masturbation. light sparring. spit play? pussy eating. fucking.

I'll be disappearing for a while for another work, this drained me. enjoy!!! as always, thoughts are more than welcome!! thank you💌

On routine, that's how Kishibe's life was, all the same everyday. Even in the unusual situations with his job, all the same as well; natural. He's not sick of it, no. He's just....bored. Sure, he gets laid most of the time, but that, too, was routine. Funny thing to say for an old man like him, who has nothing going on in his life, on purpose, chooses to be.

Though just to say the least, he's quite getting sick of the boredom. But he doesn't do anything about it, there was nothing to come across his mind. So instead, his fate did it for him.

Delivering him something new, and that something was someone.

Someone moving into the building where he lives, in the top floor he's in, no less. In a building where it looks so lonely because it was a bit far away from the city and only a few buildings were surrounded by the place. It's literally lonely, one could say, because there are only three tenants in it and he's already included among them--and said three tenants don't know each other, let alone have crossed paths before. He preferred it that way.

For probably enough time that one could bear until they went mad, it was like that.

Until it was broken off by you.

And what's new is that you're there standing in the elevator with enough bags that one could carry sitting on the floor.

You know each other. He knows you. Only a few years younger late when you got in the division from him. Never worked with you but still knew of each other. One of the reasons is because you're known in the division, respected rather. A few of the primes, same like him. But that is until you switched to working in the office rather out in the field, still you were esteemed. That was all he knew. He never paid much attention to trivial things anyway; not unless it was something he should be concerned about.

"Kishibe?" You voiced, eyebrows furrowed.

"L/N." He replied, voice ever nonchalant.

As you stepped out of the elevator, he took a few of your bags from the floor as you did and you didn't say anything to it. No such thing as shyness or awkwardness between two grown people like you, let alone that you know of each other.

"So you're the one living here?" You asked, both of you walking in the long hallway.

"And you're moving."

"Guess we weren't both told then."

"That's the rule anyway."

Confidentiality was the top rule of the apartment, no introductions, not even background checks or anything. Closed off and expensive. That piques his interest, just a little though.

Though what you both find odd—even a little amusing is how you didn't even get to see each other when the two of you figure that of the day you checked out the place. And only now. What coincidence, you supposed.

Of you seeing how he was the only one living on the floor, you spoke your thoughts. "...And I suppose you being the only one here on this floor is ruined by me." You chuckled a little.

"Doesn't seem so bad." He answered just as easily and simply. Any other time back then, he wouldn't have liked this, it would have made his eyes sharp and lips fell even lower....but today, he's not gonna complain.

You nod, a small curve of your lips turning up. "...That's good to know," you say and not a second later, you arrived at your door. "....Well, thank you."

Kishibe laid the bags inside on the floor just as you opened the door, "Hmm," he just voiced before going his way.

This didn't deter you or anything, seeming to know that he's always been that.....rather reserved, you could say....anyone will, actually.

And as you went on to fix your things up, you thought of the man. That you were surprised to see him, much more that he lives here. You weren't bothered by it...just surprised—rather curious to what comes next.

This was him after all, the prime of the primes. The so reserved man, so as you now find new (the place he lives at could say a lot already) but suppose that's normal for his age, close to your age rather and especially in the kind of work you both have, let alone his.

"Shouldn't this be interesting?" You say to yourself just as you folded the last bag to its place.

Something new is what you came here for anyway,

As night has come, you made dinner not only for yourself but as well.....well, Kishibe. You'll be living closely for such a time and it's always right to give something for your neighbour. Though at the back of your mind, you can't help but think, does he even cook? eat for himself properly? It encouraged you more to give him something. Be it as a nature of a mother, and who was once a wife, you believe.

So late of the night when the time has come that the devil hunters usually go home from work, specifically in his rank—a few minutes after that said time, you went out from your apartment to head over his. Walking down the hallway, holding the small and still heated ceramic pot. As you reached the door, you knocked, successfully.

Seconds later, the door opened to show the man, looking a bit tired more than usual, just out from his coat but still in his attire, white shirt messily opened and hair ragged.

He has always been quite handsome, hasn't he?

"I'm sorry if I disturbed but I made you something as a gift of me moving in, I suppose." You spoke, putting up the pot slightly and he eyes it down.

He only said nothing but took the casserole from your hands and just hummed, walking back in, leaving the door open for you to just stand there, contemplating to leave as you figured the man was much more....him than he was.

Then you heard him speak, his usual voice that was gruffly. "Beer?" Coming from the kitchen.

You almost chuckled in surprise, thinking for a second he'd just leave without saying anything and now he offers you beer. Daring to take that as an invitation, you went in and closed the door. "I'm fine, thank you." You answer as you follow where he was. You see him took out a glass pitcher from the fridge and was holding a glass in his other hand, pouring the water in it as he put it on the table just beside the bottled and unopened beer.

Kishibe was a bit surprised, if he admits so. He actually thought you would have gone along just like everyone does.....just as he does normally. But here you are now, just at his door earlier, offering him a gift you made for him. So yes, he was surprised.

Opening the glass bottled beer, he took a light sip from it before opening the casserole that stood out on the table...well it was empty anyway. It was pasta, something he haven't had in a while, and something he'd devour in a while as he was damn hungry and haven't had dinner yet.

.....He was liking this new thing already.

The savoury scent immediately flourishes in the air, putting off the smell of musk and alcohol of the place. Kishibe didn't mind, though he just went to the wide terrace that lets the wind come in strongly, you follow shortly and he leans on the railings, a cigarette already in his mouth.

You placed yourself a bit far across from where he was leaning your waist back on the railings, the sound of night faint in the background. "How long have you been living here?" You asked.

The man let out the smoke before answering, still looking ahead, "Don't exactly count it,"

You nod, looking at him for a second as you lightly chuckled, uttering a small, "Of course."

Kishibe then gave you a side glance, looking at the view again. "Why'd you choose this?"

"I wanted to be away from the city but not so far that it'll be inconvenient for me and my children, and there this place was."

This made his eyebrows furrow but he wasn't looking at you, though you saw that. "They're separated from me as I'm divorced from my ex-husband....let him gain custody of them." You spoke but just stopped there, not wanting to say too much.

He looks at you this time, not tearing it away. "Is that why you switched to the office?"

Trivial things....trivial things he doesn't get involved with, nor even asked questions about.....but maybe this one won't change a thing and normal he thought it was to be curious at the very moment.

"Yes," That's what you only answer, he doesn't ask more and just looked away from you. Only smoke lingers in the air, no sense of any discomfort but you're both just there.

Until you spoke again, "I'll be off now, good night." You bid as you crossed your arms over your robes and stood up straight before walking. You only hear him hum as you did.

It was the beginning of a new thing to become a routine.....one that he wouldn't be sick of.

As it was the same for you. Just after finally settling down, your new abode made, you began to get more comfortable in the place. That meant with your neighbour. Well, maybe not so much but just enough to give him what you cook when you have time to make such meals at night. Just enough to let yourself in his place as every time you brought him something. Always in the terrace, the man will always smoke and drink his beer or just from his flask, and you'd just be there, not talking of anything but work, at least after a few nights then you both began speaking of said work, all the ordeals you go through...but still words were only kept short and few.....and just only that.

.

.

.

Stacked papers in your hands piled up on your arms as you're in the elevator, just walking out of it when it reaches your floor. Just as you're halfway in the hallway, Kishibe walks out of his place and he stops when he sees you, looks at his watch then back to you, not even fazed with the countless papers you have.

This makes you chuckle, slowing down. "Yes, my office was quite busy this afternoon because of the new recruits and what happened in the city." You spoke, Kishibe barely tuts his head, knowing how paperworks after hunting, its casualties and much more that comes with it—can be a bitch.

Figuring that with how late it is and the fact the man has been getting his dinner from what you've been giving him lately—you asked simply. "Are you getting dinner?"

That and maybe getting laid, he's had a damn day after that shit happened in the city. But maybe not tonight after all.

Kishibe took some of the papers and folders from you and began to walk towards your door. "What are you making?"

Your lips curved slightly, "Harako Meshi, been a while since I've had it and my friend gave me sake, so I figured."

Kishibe doesn't think there's been a second for him to think that he hasn't liked it every time you bothered him ever since you showed up. Yeah, he can't see that he'll be getting sick of this thing soon.

There he smokes on your balcony just as he laid the papers and folders on the table in the living room. And you're already in the kitchen just after you changed into a more comfortable clothes....a clear view of you as you work.

Your space was much more different from his ( Untouched and just left how it was. Dull. ) you damn turned the place upside down, one wouldn't think this one room was inside a soulless building. It reeks of home.

Home. He's unfamiliar with that since he was young and until now, let alone of the very word.

Kishibe sought to think how someone like you could still be in this kind of life. And he thought he's thinking enough, so he turned to the view and took a long drag.

You weren't oblivious to his stare, it doesn't bother you. Clear was how you hear his unspoken thoughts, it doesn't bother you as well. Anyone would think the same.

As you continue to work in the kitchen, you thought....how long it must have been for him since he's been in a home.....to feed well. A part of you smiles in daring to hope to give him a taste of it...no matter how...cruel it was if one were to see it in the other way. Give the satiated man he knows he doesn't...wouldn't...couldn't have.

Your conscience lies in just doing something nice for him.

You begin to prepare the table and Kishibe walks in, unhesitantly bringing some of the things you made on the table and the sake, of course. Now there you both are sitting across from each other and started to eat.

"I've heard that you'll be training the two recruits." You spoke.

Kishibe nods as he continues to eat-he really was damn glad he didn't go out. "Two fiends, nothing I can't handle."

"I'm sure." You spoke mindlessly....then you speak again. "She's planning something, isn't she?"

"She's always planning something."

That much was unfortunately and thankfully known. "Teach the boy well."

"I'll give him hell."

"You better."

You two didn't even miss a beat.

Kishibe's lips almost quirked as he drank. It was...quite...good to know that there lies an agreement between the dangerous notion. Nothing but truth in your voice as you speak every time....expectedly rare in the life of you both live.

"You stayed even if the cause of your separation is because of it." He spoke, no tone of anything but just his own voice.

Again, you were quite surprised as he said that, clearly not expecting him to take any interest, let alone even a bit of curiosity from him. But you didn't show it, nor were you offended by what he asked.

"Because this way, I can still protect them without risking my life so much before and not worry them anymore."

Of course.

"You and Quanxi were a loss to both the divisions." He'll give you that much.

And you were proud for that one. "We're all lucky that they let me switch without anything in return and that you remained to shoulder all the shit."

He couldn't agree more.

Now you both are done eating, with you fixing up the table and Kishibe on your balcony once again smoking—before you join him, nothing but the distant sounds of the city.

"Hayakawa?" You asked.

"Close."

"Have you warned Himeno?"

"He's set straight to it. Screws all lose."

You took a sharp breath from your nose as you looked up at the sky. "Kind boy," you spoke mindlessly.

Kishibe just hums as he let out his smoke. Silence came in and it was welcomed..a few more while, his cigarette ran dry....and there he bids. "Good night," and you just stood there still ahead to the view and him not sparing a glance as he spoke.

Normal night, you supposed.

Work was work. Walking in the corridors in the division, headed to your office...Kishibe was there walking in your opposite direction. As you both continue to walk, no glances were made but kept straight. A few times in that and left in the back of your minds.

And...now...he walks in the elevator of the apartment just as you did earlier seconds ago.

"You making something?" he asks as the elevator closes. It seems he likes your cooking more than you thought.

You hum, nodding. "Vegetable curry."

Kishibe raises his brow, "At night?"

You chuckle a little, "It seems so."

He just hums.

As you now cook in your kitchen, the door is left opened for the man who is still yet to come.

Then, what an odd mixture of the night was; aroma of the dish, cigarette and alcohol. It was welcomed nonetheless.

.

.

.

For some fucking reason...Kishibe hasn't had sex for a while...well...ever since you moved in, that is. And he's a simple man but dumb...he knows the reason why; you. Some fucking reason, huh.

Blind. The notion coming as unexpected...maybe...but is it really unexpected...really?

After all, what is to be expected when two grown people share the same floor together, what is to be expected when each night they share dinner together...what is to be expected when those two persons have some needs and those needs untouched?

Yeah, you. You've been...having thoughts about the man, you weren't bothered by it...if anything, again, you deemed it normal...and you aren't denying it as well. The man is fucking appealing. You know you can't blame yourself for it and you don't. But of course, that doesn't mean you'd act upon it. You are in need, needy, sure...maybe even aching but you have your....yes—your pride.

Oh, you're well aware that there lingers something in the air, it's palpable but still subtle...however hidden, it's there and you feel it. You both do.

But what does Kishibe do? Nothing. Went with his day and night like his mind hasn't thought of running his cock through a certain fucking someone. He's not exactly sure of what's keeping him from doing the exact thing.

But what's not keeping himself from doing is letting his hand go down on him, his free hand loosening his tie as he sits back on his couch lazily. Hardened length straining so tight against his boxers and black slacks.

"Hmghm..." He groans. That sinful sound...that rumbles through his chest so good even with his lips just closed. Kishibe took his already lit cigarette from the ashtray on his table, taking a long drag as he continues to palm himself. His fingers firmly pressing on his clothed cock.

He let out the smoke from his mouth. Pent up heat in him almost leaving along with the smoke, staring to nothing at the ceiling, his eyes clearly seeing your tempting figure. Engraved you were in his mind, he can thank himself for always letting his eyes linger on you, taking you all in when he stands on your balcony as you cook in your kitchen. Not turning his gaze away anymore ever since his...needs gotten the best of him and satisfied his eyes.

With one hand, he unhooked his belt and took seconds to free his aching cock, standing proud and leaking already. Kishibe closed his eyes, his head still laid back on the couch, exhaling deeply once his fingers wrapped on his base...allowing whatever was enabling him to feel it as your own fingers, it slides down so slowly, the closed palm confining his cock so warm and good, what he has been depriving of.

Your hands....your hands that moves fluidly when you handle your cooking, his mind flashing him visions that your hands are on his cock whenever he's there in your balcony.

Kishibe takes another long drag as he continues to suffocate his cock, still so slow, up and down, a strained groan this time as he slowly let out the smoke, eyes still closed. Feeling your hand go a bit fast now. Sweat and pre coating his length and your plush skin, it makes his chest start to rise and fall now. Droplets of sweat gathering on his skin and it drips down from his neck to his chest and down to his abdomen.

A rhythm being found. Still not that fast but enough...so enough to build fire in him as you circle your closed palm on him up and down, all while you run your thumb on his tip every time.

.....The fuck you do to him...penting him up just by watching you cook there...a humanly ritual...a domestic act...one he was barely familiar of and he's getting all hot about it. The cigarette he takes is blameless for it, but what he's familiar of humanly ritual...is need.

And what he needs is release.

Kishibe's throat strains as he hums….an animalistic growl as the ministrations on his cock continues. The pace still the same but filling in his peak slowly, and he likes it that way. Just as how the alcohol he drinks burn slowly in him. He savours it each and every time, just like right now, Kishibe feels you take your sweet time fisting him hard and steady. His tip continuously leaking, leaking more each time the pads of your fingers would go over his tip and press on it.

He held his cigarette with two fingers as that same hand reached out to get his glass on the table. Taking a drink of his whiskey as your hand never stops on him. Fucking hell...that flaring smoke of his cigarette, the alcohol, the burning waves from his straining cock, it engulfs him, enough...more than enough to send any being into euphoria. Deep and long groans rumbles from him as he feels it all, his throat and all the way down, burns. Clenching him.

However he was drowning in fire already, however enough it was...he wants more...he wants more than your hand. So what he does is grab the crown of your head and make you take his cock into your mouth, fingers gripping your hair to guide you in. Lips sliding against his thick and long length, tongue flat above him, the walls of your mouth and the end of your throat. "Fuck." Kishibe growls, the glass got put down on the table too hard that it might have cracked, his cigarette almost falling from his fingers.

Gurgled sounds vibrates through him and he hears it, he hears you. His grip on your hair strong as ever so as to keep the pace going, fast and hard, he assaults your mouth, his drips spilling to your tongue, down to your throat. His peak long gone from burning tantalizingly slow and turned to wildfire, overflowing, his hips now twitching, rising to make the pressure he gets in your mouth stay. Kishibe feels your breath going away as he doesn't let you breathe but just continues to hold your hair so tight, still making you take him. He can't lose his end...so whatever what was left in him is now gone as he moves his hips to fuck your mouth better. Slowly he does while he makes yours only faster and harder if it's still possible.

"Mhmgr fuck..." His growling sounds never stops as it continues, his hips slapping to you, abusing your mouth with his cock again and again. It didn't take much longer for him to see his release; all of him strongly clenched as his cock stilled in you, reaching the end of your throat, he feels it go down while his cum flows in you. The cigarette on his fingers now being crushed in his hand as he closed his fist so tight, the burning pain on his skin was nothing as he stays in his high, cock flinching in you while his lower body continues to slowly move against you to feel it all.

"Mgrhm…” It's what echoed in his walls continuously, his chest slowly comes down from its rising and falling, shirt soaked with sweat, hair falling with droplets of it as well.

"Kishibe."

He hears you call out to him from your kitchen. Dead eyes, he looks to you. "I think you wasted your cigarette." You nod to his cigarette on his hand...and as he now noticed, realized—it was crushed by his strongly closed fist, burning his skin once more. Kishibe opened his hand, showing his long before scarred flesh now freshly tainted...bits of its remains falling...because he was thinking of having your hand on his cock and fucking your mouth last night when he was only doing it by himself.

His thoughts long left to ashes the moment he stood in your balcony once again this night.

He needs to end this. He will have you soon.

Anticipation fills you. You know one way or another something will happen, you don't know when but you know it's hanging on by a thread...it has your heart racing...and your cunt beating.

The air of the night was fucking thick as you eat together.

And it's getting thicker with each passing second as the morning comes. It had to be fucking Saturday, where it's both your day off. But thankfully...as fucked up as it's sounds, you'd be luckily distracted as your two children will come over in the afternoon. And hopefully, he won't be in his place or anything to not cross paths with him today. The last thing you want right now is to see him at the moment...some part of you knows that if you do—it would be not too different from your thoughts.

But even that, of course...us creatures are nothing to the will of time; just another words to say it ended how one would normally expect. Bumping into each other...well, not exactly that, maybe worse than it. With him walking into your place with your two children walking in front of him.

The moment you heard a heavy footsteps along with a light and rapid ones, your eyebrows furrowed as you took a few steps aside to see who it was and you almost dropped the tray of freshly baked cookies from your hands as your eyes met his.

It took you not even a second to figure out the reason what's happening right now; you let your children just play around and inevitably went out of your place to go and play around on the floor. Either they knocked on his door or ran into him—either way, you knew your children likes to be friendly...and that says a lot, given how only a few children would approach a man like Kishibe.

You should have known better.

Though what could you have done to avoid it from happening, anyways. Finding your composure inside of you. "Tell me they just ran into you and didn't knock on your door." You spoke, laughing lightly as you went back to work.

"They knocked," Kishibe answers simply, as always.

"Yes, of course." You nod as a little laugh escapes you once more. Setting the cookies on the cooling rack. The sounds of your children in the background as Kishibe now stood in your kitchen, leaning the back of his waist on the counter, his eyes on you.

You were glowing...he hasn't noticed that before. He's sure he hasn't heard you laugh that much as well, probably normally because of your children...something is gotta be wrong with him...no, that's just his...desires that's making him notice.

You could strangle yourself right now, maybe even do something worse, because what the fuck is his problem staring at you while you're trying your best to not even so much show an ounce of waver in your composure and you know he knows what he's doing. What the fuck is he even gonna do here?

...Yeah, your mind was all over the place and that has rarely happened before, almost never. Yet you can't find the urge...the guts to ask him why he's staying right now this time.

Instead, you fucking ask him if he wants coffee, he just nods as he took one of your cookies.

Maybe...he stayed for your cookies

You almost bash your head on the counter as the thought occurred.

The kettle made its noise and you made your coffees. "You gonna have them over for dinner?" He asked.

"Mmnn, yes," you answer. But you hesitate to ask if he'll join.

"What are you making?" he asks once more. Your lips quirked as your mouth is now close to your cup. Well, you didn't have to worry about that after all.

"Pasta. It's their favourite." You spoke. And Kishibe remembers the night you gave him that dish. He still has the taste at the end of his tongue when he lets you in his door, he cannot wait to taste it again.

Which he does as the night falls, with your children across from both of you as your besides each other this time. The laughter of you and your children...it's nice. Pasta and among other things he can barely remember the names of, nonetheless he eats so well. Lots of it tastes unfamiliar and yet it's so welcoming...he wants more of it.

Kishibe's mind is stirring, the smoke is fogging his mind, so as he believes....or something must be in your food—he's really losing it.

And through his silence with only little of his words, through his eyes with your subtle glances besides him; you see through him. It almost worries you...you really gave him a taste of it. Where it goes from here next, you don't know but possibilities, of course, runs in your mind...more possibilities.

And it fueled even more when you caught a glimpse of his eyes when you got embraced and kissed by your ex-husband as he arrived to pick up your children...and Kishibe met your gaze as your former lover did.

The mere act alone...nothing needed to be said more.

The night hangs quiet when your children goes with their father, with Kishibe still there with you. If it was possible, the beating of your heart could echo loudly in your place as you fix up the table, with him following you to do the same, it's the first time he helped you with it....it's enough to say what it could possibly mean.

The glasses in your hand clang against one another as your said hand trembles a little to lay it down in the sink, while he walks close to you to put the plates in it as well. You're both so close to each other. He towers over you, he's just that damn tall. Kishibe only stands there as you did, his eyes looming above and behind you, his breathing turning deep that it was now heard in the deafening silence.

He can have you right there and then. Be relieved of his insanity.

Yet instead he speaks, "How long has it been since you sparred?"

Your mouth has already exhaled a light laugh before you could stop yourself. "It has...been quite some time."

In his mind, what he's to do could compensate for what he doesn't yet—"Why? You gonna run my memory?"

Before you know it, you're trapped by the counter and him, the edge of a knife on your throat, your hand on his wrist firmly—your eyes dead on him in sheer stun, laced with thin provocation. Seeing his gaze doesn't change at all; it was more maddening. "You doubted me." You at last utter in a calculating disbelief, your fingers tightening around his grip.

Kishibe lives by your nerves resonating through him, they're loud and strong because of him. It feeds him. "I wondered." He spoke, still having the blade directly on you.

You don't feel anything from him but now that the proximity grants you to fully look him in the eyes, you can finally see he's burning.

The evidence is more worrying than the weapon dying for your throat.

"That's wounding." You breathe.

"Everything is."

You only scoff at his reply, before your other free hand swiftly went to get another knife of his from one of his pocket and aimed it for the side of his head—only for him to stop it by his hand that once trapped you, his hold just effortlessly firm, barely a strength to keep you from driving the blade in his brain.

Even when you never worked together, your reputation has never doubted you and that he can see now right in front of him.

"Proof enough?" You ask.

Not enough of you.

He only huffed a short hum. Just like that, he retracts the knife against you and that you held against him. "Good night."

Not now. Not yet. The burning in him, he wants to feel it more before anything.

The exchange has you falling to your knees as your hands weakly hold on the sink. A warning for what's to come more.

What deprivation can do to a being.

Yes, indeed what it can do to a being; it has Kishibe filling his glass with whiskey, trying to wash away whatever he's thinking, whatever he's feeling. But no matter how many downs he takes, it doesn't go away, it won't, it can't. Especially not when the sight of you and your ex-husband...lovingly held each other, even when it was short, it was undeniable there was.....love between you both still. He doesn't know the bits of your remaining relationship with your ex-husband, but he sees well enough that there isn't something between you both....and yet, when he saw that sight, it bothered him, something went off.

Another man clinging to you like that, it comes crashing down. It's getting ridiculous. He's gonna turn into ashes if he continues to let this burn.

Icarus' wings could only bear so much of the sun after all.

.

.

.

The day is going too fucking slow and it's driving you crazy. You're at work and you haven't even had a glimpse of him in the apartment nor at work. Just what is happening to you, acting like a damn puppy who can't seem to keep it in. It has you tired as you come home. Heels heavy as you walk through the corridors, eyes lingering to his door as you pass by.

You were left nowhere but to wait. So wait you did. Your door left open—you begin to prep for dinner after taking a long time under the water, composure building up again all while. But of course, your mind was still somewhere else, your insides never stopping of its fluttering as you mindlessly go.

By doing that, it was only a mere expectation of yours for it to now actually happen.

Though a complete lack on your part, really, that even with years of being a hunter and still having whatever you've learned and throughout all the years even when you switched from being one—you missed that someone has walked in your place.

Now you find yourself suddenly dropping the knife you were washing, the water left running as you felt a strong presence loom behind you. You stood there unmoving, breath caught in your throat the moment you felt it. Felt him.

The seconds turned slow but your heart was the opposite being filled with...thrill. "Kishibe." A breathless murmur echoes faintly but he hears it greatly and there comes his rope snapping. Your voice that's been plaguing him, it finally mutes everything.

Kishibe laid his hand on your right arm and the other around your waist as he pulled you tightly close against him, immediately meshing his fingers on your belly. Your breath being taken away from you again. He won't say he can't believe what's happening because he expected the boundness when he grew close to you.

His hand on your arm has been rising up, rough palm on your skin, his grasp heavy; feeling the softness of the fat on your arm to your shoulder, kneading you there with his mouth heated on the side of your forehead. "Been too long." In a low breath he says as he continues to tightly caress on your shoulder, before going down to slip under your dress then slipping his fingers in your bra, his thumb and index finger now playing with your nipple, the rest of his palm fondling your breast.

Creatures of nightmares that crawl from nothing to land he's dealt with for so long, he himself bounded to those, unthinkable abilities he wields; he never questioned reality. But there's an impenetrable sense of high he's in as he fixes in your softness, it doesn't feel real. It's peaceful, he thinks that is what dreaming is.

"I think it's just about time." You merely replied, finding your hand relying firmly on his nape, as the other reaches for the faucet to stop the running water while he goes on. Your waked mind still there before you let yourself go in a haze later.

Kishibe ghosts his face down on the side of yours, his nose breathing you in so much before he opens his eyes and looks at your lips—then to your gaze.

He feels foolish again but he feels it more so the more he thinks about it, so he just simply kisses you now.

It has been too long.

It's humorous; a simple kiss making you want to fall on your knees.

The remnants of cigarette and whiskey you're now familiar with, you can taste with mouths being held together, and he begins with mildly sucking you. His hand that was groping on your belly trails up to your neck, pushing his mouth to yours even more as he drags it open—only to suck your lips once again out of hunger that he spills freely, swallowing roughly each kiss he takes after the other, soaking his dry mouth with you—only then he uses his tongue against yours, tangling on one another, roaming it inside you, swimming his tongue in whatever saliva that gathers in your mouth. Dragging you in.

A simple kiss.

So much for it when you pull away before you could no longer breathe—your chest heaves, lips parted with air heavily leaving in and out of you. He's no different; gaze darkened as blown, you could almost hear the growl that threatens to echo from him, his grip creasing on your neck to your nape and he turns you around to face him. He pushes you just slightly to put the back of your waist against the edge of the sink, leaning his body down so he's levelled to you.

The hand of yours on his neck slides to lay it on the side of his face, it's the first time you're looking at each other this long, for more than five seconds directly, let alone this close, gazes straight through your souls. Kishibe always looks at the person he talks to straight at them without falter, and you've seen that having him done it to you only a few times, before you both always turn your eyes away as the days kept going. Now you see all of him as he allows himself.

A voracious kiss.

When has a man been so…..desperate?

When have you ever been so wanting? Shameless; rapid, messy, strong, wet.

Drowning in need you seek. Your sex has long gone weeping in your panties. Kishibe’s throbbing cock only soothed by the tightness of his clothes below, even as he was starting to drip of his own arousal, he just left it before he took you up to lay your back on the counter after suffocating your lungs in that kiss, simply pushing off the things that's there and shattered on the floor but never parting his mouth away from you, from your face, your neck, to your chest and belly while his hands took off your undergarments below as he goes down more.

It's incomprehensible. Your fate that brought you upon him, that has led to a path of the Kishibe barely on his knees to finally have a taste of your pussy. The feeling of his mouth and tongue latched on your cunt the first second was already the last thread of your hold on your existence. That hold became your fingers wading through his hair, thighs already trembling in his tight grasp, sounds of pleasure etched to your erratic breathing.

Kishibe is not at all rough when he began—subdued; each kiss he gives, each suck he takes is heavy. He doesn't want to rush. He has suffered to simply hurry and not feel every thrum he could get. His wide and long tongue flat on your whole mound, drinking your slick with each drag he licks, his stubble grazing against the hair and flesh of your cunt.

There's no words from you both, it doesn't exist. Only flesh and unruly power that conjured from your desires. Only the sounds of a hungry man one with his devils as he feeds.

It begins to rise more, the fire your body collects, his ceaseless hunger. Your grip on his hair deepening. The grind of your hips for your cunt to ride his face. The unstoppable tremble of your limbs as you move against him, thighs barely clutching to his head despite his hurtful grip to keep your sex tact to him. The repeating shock and clenching of your pussy with each spit he threw. His mouth nor breath not once waver until he gave your end, only for him to take it out of you again and again. All numb, nerves just wildly spiking everywhere within you—pussy left raw and still weeping, throat dry and eyes in tears.

However his boundless hunger, his mouth is at least given a little bit of your pussy for now for it to be enough and move next. So Kishibe then stood up, your tearful eyes following. It remains unreal to you. His lips so red, half of his face soaked. He swipes his thumb on his cheek, jaw and to his chin, catching what drips from his mouth of the myriad of your cum and swallowed it like the rest. Before that same hand ran over his dishevelled wet hair, and simply took off his tie in one go. Eyes kept on one another the whole moment.

You no longer own your breath….the sounds you've been making…the fog clears more, blinking the tears away, the coldness of the metal in spite of all the heat, your dress clinging on your skin, drenched with sweat; there's a little of shame that seeps back in you.

But you don't turn away from his gaze. Kishibe holds it. You follow him. It took you that long to make a decision. Desirably, you accept it.

Amusing as it is for Kishibe seeing you unfold, he doesn't know how much longer he could stand to not just fuck you senseless. The sound of his belt snapping as he took it off from his pants wakes you up. “Done being in your head?”

Coherent words exist again. You tirelessly breathe out a little laugh, “Barely.” You keep cursing in your head and they're louder now as he frees himself.

He couldn't help the tut on the edge of his lips when he saw the fleeting look of stun from you once he now held his cock. “Just about time, huh?” he plainly taunts as he spits on his palm before he strokes himself.

It's been so long. And he's damn big.

“Fuck you.” You scoffed.

Kishibe swears there was laughter that swirled inside him but didn't reach his mouth. Only the strain in your breath as his left hand gave your still drooling cunt attention again, your body involuntarily tensing before easing again while he slid two of his thick fingers in and barely loosened you up for just mere seconds.

The bits of pain remains treads you on edge, expecting it to double soon. His blood prevails to course so explosively.

You both expected it, nonetheless still by the skin of teeth when Kishibe grazed his cock in. Your walls a soaked and snug furnace, barely halfway—"Fucking,” he trailed off in a mutter, the fingers of his left hand digging on your thigh, the other lightly choking your throat. Each trudge he makes fill the fullness of your cunt takes. It's plain insanity.

“Just about time, huh?” You get back, barely.

Kishibe's laugh is at last freed. It really is madness. It was just an air of laugh, teeth shown; it was priceless. One that you beheld before he just plunges in with no more room left for hesitation. “You fucking—” you growled after he slammed into you, your sudden glare sharply closing as your body took in that shocking goodness against the pain.

“This is nothing yet.”

It is.

It was.

But once again when he began, it's slow and kept. The sting that drags melts more to tight fondling sensations from every thrust he pushes deep in your pussy. You didn't think you would have had a cock fuck you to be this staggering, render you brainless—or more so believe it that's it now happening after having……fantasized of it. Kishibe's cock feeds your pussy so well. You keep him in too well. Soon then again, his abilities are not held back and it's just quite pitiful how you're holding back to not just already break and cum for the nth time. It doesn't matter to him, not really—he wants nothing more than to wring you empty for him.

That's just what he does. He let it go by unsaid as he kept fucking you, making you break no sooner. Your mind barely comprehends he's kissing you as your cum spills and he's still ramming again and again, not making you ride your high, letting his drool make a mess on your mouth again.

You don't stop him however, nor you could in your state. And when he reaches his first end, how is it still possible you break more? Kishibe's left hand holding a death grip on the edge of the counter above your head once he stilled deep inside you, his pulsing cock floods your pussy of his cum. Much of it. He'll be moulding you to a greedy creature in no time, meeting his own ruin. Eyes mirroring too clearly upon one another. You're far gone than you'd have thought you'd be with him, and you don't want to ever go back.

Kishibe has long made that decision before he invaded your home tonight.

The high strongly lingers, still burrowing himself in you before he slowly moves and relives that beating high again. Thick drools of hotness webs in your walls that keeps you full even as he pulls out entirely and seeps out from your folds.

Heats still raging and barely satiated after having much of it.

Your kitchen is a mess and reeking of sex. He takes you standing and bent over the counter after, easily holding you up as he railed you like so, drenching your cunt again with his cum. Keeping his prowess in his wield, when he just carried you to your living room after and had you on his lap as he sat on a couch. Your clothes finally ripped off of you and had you bare as you rode him while he watched and felt the glory. Remnants of your sex left on the couch when he took yourselves to your bedroom, taking you again with your face buried in the sheets, back arched for him as he fucked you from behind. And when you both break again, he doesn't stop, instead loomed himself over your back and still delved his cock in and out endlessly while cum flows out messily, your loud moans strained from his hand squeezing your throat and head deep on the bed. Even as the dawn rises, Kishibe remains.

No end in sight.

[sylvia-forest]

[CN] Shaw's Monkey King Date

⚡Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a Date which hasn’t been released in EN yet!⚡

[Released Date: 17 June 2024]

You can read the Prologue from here!

[Section 1]

The late nights in the small town are much denser than in the city.

Even though it's nearly midnight, Shaw and I are still sitting at opposite ends of the sofa playing with our phones, indicating that neither of us intends to sleep.

Shaw: Music cut. MC: You've already cut three pieces. Shaw: That may mean that this playlist is no longer good and it’s time to change the playlist. MC [angrily]: Don't question my musical taste!

I glared at him, warning Shaw not to secretly change my playlist. Seeing my firmness, he shrugged and backed down.

Shaw: Okay, this part is okay now, I feel like I can continue listening to it.

He adjusted his headphones and lazily slouched a bit further down, his gaze returning to his own phone screen.

Seizing the opportunity, I glanced at the progress bar of the player. Good, good, once this song finishes, it'll be perfectly timed.

I subtly adjusted my sitting position and quietly retrieved the confetti cannon that I had hidden under the pillow.

I no longer paid any attention to what the singer was singing about in the headphones; my heartbeat and the pounding bass drum were the only things I could feel, growing faster and more restless.

58, 59, 60......!

I pulled out the confetti cannon and pulled the string—Bang!

MC: Happy Birthday!!

The sharp sound of the confetti cannon and the song "Happy Birthday" from the playlist rang out simultaneously, interrupting the chirping of cicadas outside.

Amid the falling streamers, I beamed a wide smile at Shaw. He set down his phone and nodded back at me.

Shaw: Thanks. MC [confused]: ??

This guy, his reaction to my perfectly timed birthday surprise is so calm! I pouted in dissatisfaction.

MC: Shouldn't you be more surprised, more amazed? Shaw: It's a bit difficult.

Shaw brushed off the streamers from his face and smiled.

Shaw: After all, I am the one who brought you here to celebrate my birthday. You have been procrastinating and refusing to go to bed. I have already predicted what will happen at 12 o'clock. Shaw: Furthermore, if you have more "surprises" waiting for me until daylight, and you surprised me now, what's next?

Shaw [in a low playful tone]: Or are you saying that you want...

Shaw cleared his throat, and I suddenly felt uneasy.

Shaw [DAMN HIS SARCASTIC VOICE SOUNDS SO HILARIOUS]: Oh my, you actually sent me such a loud birthday wish right at midnight on June twenty-first. I'm so pleasantly surprised, moved, and touched that it brings tears to my eyes. MC: Stop! Stop! STOP!

I was grossed out by Shaw's cheesiness, covered in goosebumps, and quickly tried to cover his mouth, but he easily caught my wrist with one hand.

Shaw raised an eyebrow at me, his tone teasing.

Shaw [teasingly]: Do I need to continue praising you? MC: Hmph, never mind then.

I wrinkled my nose and tried to take my wrist out of his hand.

He tightened his grip unexpectedly, even pulling me forward a bit, causing me to lose my balance and fall onto him.

Shaw: Do you want to ignore me? Don’t you want to hear me finish what I have to say?

Feeling frustrated, I lightly bumped my chin against his chest twice to prompt him to continue.

Shaw: Even though it wasn't a surprise, you're the first one today to wish me a happy birthday, and I appreciate that. MC: Just satisfied? Shaw: I'm very happy too, that's why I wanted to tease you. MC: ... Such a perverse taste. Shaw: How can you call it perverse taste? It's the privilege of the birthday star, I'm the boss today.

Thinking back to the past few years when I teased him on his birthday saying "Birthday star is the boss," I feel like I'm lifting a rock only to drop it on my own foot

As I was speaking, Shaw's phone kept buzzing intermittently. Just as I was about to glance curiously at it, Shaw had already responded.

Shaw: Just some birthday wishes.

I took his phone and unlocked the screen. I scrolled up and down a couple of times, and sure enough, I saw familiar faces.

There were colleagues from Isolate, the owner of the Live House, Professor Shen who had already sent his greetings earlier in the day, and the old neighbors...

MC [excitedly]: Wow, without realizing it, you've become so popular.

Shaw [displeased]: Why do your words sound so strange? Could it be that I was not popular before? MC: It definitely wasn't as good as it is now.

Shaw's mouth curled into a subtle smile, and he responded with a prolonged "hmm."

Shaw: Now that you mention it, it’s true that ever since I met you, you've been organizing all sorts of surprise events with this group, making them more enthusiastic than ever.

I laughed and scrolled up again, and suddenly a text message sent during the day fell into my eyes.

Magician Zhang: Don't forget about tomorrow's show. You need to be there by 1 PM.

I read out the text in the text message and was a little confused.

MC: What program? Shaw: Hasn't Magician Zhang been learning ancient magic tricks here for several months? He has a performance tomorrow and asked me to do an opening act to warm up the crowd. MC: That's it...wait a minute! MC: Isn't the "tomorrow" he mentioned actually today? Why are you still taking on a warm-up performance on your birthday?

Shaw was a little confused, obviously not following my logic.

Shaw [confused]: What do you mean? MC: What I mean is...

My lips trembled a bit. Although I felt confident when I thought about it, I felt a bit unsure when I actually said it out loud.

MC [resigned look]: I feel like something always comes up on your birthday to disturb the celebration. MC: There's never a time when the whole 24 hours are completely mine. MC: It's just a little... upsetting.

Shaw [surprised]: ……

Shaw was obviously a little surprised, and then he seemed to have thought of something and raised the corners of his mouth again.

Shaw [teases her]: Completely yours? Oh, you want us to be like conjoined twins? MC: Is that not allowed? Shaw [in a good mood]: Of course it is. Then for tomorrow's little performance, you can join me on stage. MC [dumbfounded]: Huh??

—

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

—

[Section 2]

Even though it was just a small warm-up performance, we still arrived early at the town theater.

There was already a banner at the entrance of the courtyard promoting today's ancient magic performance. I looked up and tried to recognize it for a while.

MC: ... "Journey to the West"? How are they going to perform "Journey to the West" with ancient magic tricks?

Shaw: It's like regular magic tricks, but with some storyline elements added to make it more interesting for the audience. MC: Storyline elements... We're not going to have to perform too, are we? Shaw: Who knows.

Shaw spread his hands with a smile, clearly teasing me again.

Shaw: Anyway, you go over there and change, and I'll see you in the yard later.

After he finished speaking, he took a few steps forward, then, as if sensing my gaze, he turned back, the corners of his mouth curving into a slight, enigmatic smile.

Shaw: You even want my time when I'm changing clothes? MC [shouts]: ...I didn't mean to be conjoined to that extent!

My face heated up, and I quickly turned around and slipped into the dressing room.

There was already a stylist waiting in the dressing room. After I sat down, I couldn't help but ask her.

MC: How long will this show take?

The stylist picked up the makeup brush and smiled at me.

Stylist: It should only take three to five minutes. Stylist: Shaw specifically told us not to take up too much of his time because his girlfriend is waiting for him.

These words sounded a bit strange, and I couldn't help but pout a little.

MC: ... He didn't tell you guys that I'm demanding and bossy, did he? Stylist: No. What he actually said was, "My girlfriend came all the way to spend my birthday with me, so of course, I belong to her. Non-negotiable, five minutes."

I imagined Shaw negotiating the time with them for the performance and couldn't help but laugh.

During our chat, the stylist had swiftly finished my look. I looked at the "fairy" in the mirror and let out a sigh of relief.

MC: Thank goodness... I thought I might have to play some centipede or spider demon. Stylist: How could we make you play a demon? After all, the Monkey King hadn't even started his journey to the West at that point. MC: Monkey King? You mean he wants to act… Child: Wow, Your Majesty, you're so handsome!

The noise of children suddenly came from outside, interrupting my words.

The stylist understood and pointed towards the door. I smiled knowingly, lifted my skirt, and quietly went over to push the door open.

The warm rays of the morning sun filled the courtyard and also fell on the shining figure in the center of the courtyard.

Shaw was dressed in a bright red Sun Wukong costume, surrounded by a group of children.

Even though he is wearing heavy shoulder armor, it does not appear heavy or cumbersome. Instead, it accentuates his heroic and upright appearance.

Child: Your Majesty, I want to see you wield the golden cudgel! Child: I want to see it too! I want to see it too!

Shaw [irritated]: Tsk, why don’t you watch Old Man Zhang? Isn’t his performance better? Child: He is better, but the king is more handsome! MC [burst into laughter]: Hahahaha!

I burst into laughter hearing the group of "monkey children" praising Shaw excitedly. 

When Shaw heard my laughter, his gaze immediately locked onto me, with a hint of pleading in his eyes.

Shaw [sigh in relief]: Are you finally ready? Shall we go? MC [playfully]: Um... no, I also want to see Your Majesty perform a bit~

I intentionally pronounced "Your Majesty" in a playful and teasing tone. Shaw visibly tensed, then gritted his teeth and walked towards me with determination.

Shaw: What do you want to play? Let me play with you first—

Shaw's large hand gripped my waist and began to tickle me.

I couldn't resist, laughing and trying to evade him, but I couldn't escape his embrace.

Shaw: Still want to play? MC: No, hahaha nope!

I laughed so hard that I couldn't breathe and quickly raised my hands in surrender.

The group of children looked at the two of us curiously, and one of them suddenly understood.

Child: Your Majesty, you're so powerful, you've already subdued the demoness! MC [angrily]: I'm not the demoness!

How childish. The moment those words slipped out, I felt so childish. Unfortunately, the kids in front of us were even more enthusiastic, pointing at the two of us.

Child: But you're the one tempting the Monkey King! In the cartoons, it's said that the Monkey King must stay away from women! MC: Ah, what a mess... Shaw!

I was both amused and exasperated, so I decided to play along with their "Your Majesty."

Since the children started talking, Shaw's chest kept vibrating from trying not to burst into laughter.

Seeing a hint of embarrassment on my face now, he struggled to hold back his laughter and waved his hand at the kids.

Shaw: Did you hear? She's Ling Gege's girlfriend, MC.

[T/N]: "Gege" (哥哥) is a Chinese term that means "older brother". It is often used as a term of endearment or respect towards an older male, similar to how "big brother" might be used in English.

Shaw: Right now, I haven't transformed yet, so I'm not the Monkey King, and she's not a demoness. Shaw: Later, even if I do become the Monkey King, she won't be a demoness, she'll be a fairy sister, got it? Child: Oh…. Shaw: Alright, didn't you say you wanted to grab a good spot at the stage? Let's go before it's too late.

The children seemed to understand, but as soon as they heard that they had to occupy a seat, they stopped thinking about it and all went out in a swarm.

I watched their figures disappear at the doorway and lightly tapped Shaw's hand resting on my back.

MC: Shaw, do you know your explanation just now had a bit of a loophole that didn't quite satisfy me?

Shaw [confused]: ?What loophole.

I tilted my face up, tiptoed slightly closer to him.

The warmth from my lips intentionally brushed past his tense jawline as our breaths mingled.

MC: Are you really planning to "stay away from women" once you transform into the Monkey King?

—

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

—

[Section 3]

Of course he won't be close to women. On the contrary, I'll step up my game even more.

This guy really can't handle any provocation... or teasing at all.

I nervously pressed my lips together, not wanting the others backstage to notice that I had just been "tormented" by Shaw.

[You guys can already guess what might've happened 🤭, the consequences of provoking Shaw]

After chatting with Magician Zhang a few words, Shaw turned and walked towards me.

Shaw: Just wait for 20 more minutes. When the drumming starts up front, we'll go on stage. MC [anxious]: Wait, wait, go on stage directly? Don’t we need to practice? Shaw: Do you still need to practice something you have played a hundred times?

Shaw raised an eyebrow and suddenly snapped his fingers near my ear. Startled, I turned my head and saw that he had magically produced a paper flower in his hand.

MC [surprised]: …..?!

Although I knew Shaw could perform some tricks and magic, I always found myself gaping in awe whenever I saw it firsthand.

After a few stammering sounds, I remembered I should say something.

MC: What I mean is, you’ve got it all figured out, but I still don’t know what I’m supposed to do on stage. MC: I don’t have much acting experience, what should I do if I mess it up for you? Shaw: Hmm, now that you mention it, we should definitely rehearse a bit.

As Shaw spoke, he took hold of my wrist and led me to the prop room backstage.

Shaw took out a plate from the corner, played with it twice, and handed it to me.

Shaw: The rehearsal is pretty simple. After all, this role suits you perfectly. Just stand there holding the tray and make your favorite expression. MC [dumbfounded]: What expression? Shaw: Just like a pufferfish, all puffed up and glaring at me. MC: Shaw, I don’t—! Shaw [pleased with his provocation]: Yes, that's the expression.

I glared even harder, but my cheeks deflated as I let out a huff.

MC: Then I just hold an empty plate and stare at you? Shaw: Of course, the plate is not empty, serve it well.

Shaw smiled and, once again, pulled out a few glass beads from some hidden pocket. He placed them on the tray and covered them with a red cloth.

Shaw: You are now delivering elixirs for Lao Jun, but I stop you along the way. Shaw [acting mode on x1]: Fairy, can you let me see what you are holding in your hand?

I blinked and realized that he was guiding me, and I couldn't help but become playful.

MC: Nothing, just an empty plate. Shaw [x2]: Really? But how come I smell the scent of elixirs?

Shaw leaned in and sniffed the plate twice, then suddenly turned his gaze towards me.

Before I could react, his hand swiftly brushed past my temple, plucking one of my hairpins.

He clasped his hands around the hairpin, and when he opened them again, it had turned into one of the glass beads that had just been on the tray.

MC [shocked]: ….Oh?! Shaw [x3]: So, the elixir wasn't hidden in the tray but transformed into the fairy's hairpin flower, making it harder for me to find.

He spoke slowly and deliberately, leaning in closer with an intense gaze.

Shaw [in a sly voice x4]: Fairies are so cunning.

He should have said these words in the tone of a Monkey King.

But maybe because he wasn't rehearsing seriously, I clearly knew: the voice was Shaw's, the face was Shaw's, and the person teasing me right now... was Shaw.

The lips that had been kissed by him earlier began to warm up, the heat gradually spreading to my cheeks. I struggled under his gaze, unwilling to concede yet unable to resist.

MC [blushing hard]: You, you took away the elixir, how can I give it to Laojun? Shaw [x5]: Of course, I won't just take the fairy's elixir for nothing. I'll make it up to you with something even better. He flicked his cloak and lifted the red cloth on the tray, but didn't fully uncover it. Shaw [x6]: I have several peaches that ripen once every nine thousand years. Eating them will grant us longevity equal to that of heaven and earth, and our ages will match those of the sun and moon.

He suddenly unveiled the red cloth, revealing several bright pink peaches on the plate.

Shaw's eyebrows arched in unabashed delight, his eyes outlined with fiery red eyeshadow that seemed to burn through my very soul.

Shaw [in a light tone]: Fairy, would you like to... share eternal life with me?

I stared at him blankly, my lips parting and closing before I finally spoke dully.

MC: If we have longevity equal to that of heaven and earth, then I'll have to celebrate thousands of birthdays for you. It would be exhausting!

Shaw burst into laughter. He seemed to say something softly afterward, but the booming drum announcing the start of the performance outside drowned out his voice.

Before we got ready to go on stage, I asked him one last question.

MC: By the way, how do your tricks always manage to fool me? Shaw: Why do you say?

Shaw smirked, looking very pleased with himself.

Shaw: Magic is all about guiding attention, creating something out of nothing. Shaw [he sounded so happy here]: But with you, there's no need for guidance, because you only see me.

—

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

—

[Section 4]

The little program ended smoothly.

After the appetizer, it was time for the main event: Magic Zhang's portrayal of "Sun Wukong" took the stage.

Magic Zhang had already set up the stage with colorful balls, swords, beans, and rings from his tricks. I was about to watch the master's performance when suddenly, I heard a cold snort beside me.

Shaw: Caught the work bug? MC: No, I'm just an audience member... Shaw: Audience members can't do that.

Shaw didn't hesitate to cover my sight with his hand and gently turned my chin towards him with his other hand.

Shaw: He's the Six-Eared Macaque, I'm the true Monkey King. It's time for you to come with me.

As we wished, no one disturbed us for the rest of the time, not even the group of followers who seemed to have disappeared somewhere.

He and I walked around the town leisurely, and finally returned to the entrance of the theater.

Magic Zhang's performance had long ended, and the gradually setting sun fell on the empty stage. Shaw looked around.

Shaw: It's about time. Shall we change clothes and head back to the inn for cake? MC: Who said I left the cake at the inn?

Thinking about the biggest surprise I had prepared to show Shaw today, my voice couldn't help but carry a hint of excitement.

MC: While I've enjoyed watching you perform today, I actually have a magic trick of my own to show you.

I pulled out a chair and asked Shaw to sit down, and pointed to the high stage in front of me.

MC: Guests, please be seated, this fairy is about to take the stage!

Shaw's lips curled with interest as he nodded and took a seat.

I walked towards the stage and brought out a screen I had prepared earlier.

MC: ... Grandpa Zhang said it should be wedged here so people in the audience won't see the hidden passage......

I carefully adjusted the angle of the screen according to the method that Magic Zhang had taught me before. After making sure that nothing went wrong, I waved to Shaw.

MC: Watch closely now, my magic trick is called... Shrinking into Inches, Emerging from the Earth!

With solemnity, I gestured and chanted incantations in front of my sole audience member, slowly moving towards the hidden passage.

At the exact moment when the screen completely blocked my figure, I swiftly jumped into the hidden passage and dashed towards another exit.

The path was dimly lit underfoot, and my dress billowed wildly, so I simply held it all in my hands.

I may not have the ability to shrink into inches or emerge from the earth, but I have a heart that races towards him without hesitation.

MC: Phew... almost there!

On the table at the exit sat the cake that the stylist had set up for me earlier. After calming my breath for a moment, I picked it up and lifted the curtain to reveal it.

MC: Shaw, happy birthday————

The final note of joy lingered on my lips.

Because the moment the curtain was raised, Shaw stood in front of me, staring at me intently.

I had lost count of how many times today my mouth had dropped open in astonishment. My dumbfounded expression inevitably made him burst into laughter.

MC: You, you knew I would show up here?

Shaw: I know almost all of Magic Zhang's magic tricks and mechanisms. MC: But this... This isn't you trying to steal my thunder, is it? MC: Shaw, can't you give me a sense of accomplishment? MC: You will make me look very stupid…

Shaw [lowers his voice]: Why are you being silly?

Shaw interrupted my scattered thoughts and pulled me out of the dim passage.

Shaw: It's not that you're not capable of acting. Shaw: Pretending to be surprised intentionally, you find it cheesy and foolish. Shaw: Besides, someone told me they wanted to be conjoined twins with me for 24 hours, so I didn't want to wait, and I couldn't wait. Shaw [whispers lightly, barely hiding his hidden emotions]: MC, you've been running for too long, I can't wait any longer.

Shaw repeated twice that he couldn't wait, turning my slight disappointment into a bittersweet feeling.

But I still had a bit of unwillingness lingering, so I couldn't help but ask him.

MC: So, did I not manage to give you any surprises or unexpected moments today? Shaw [satisfied]: Of course you did, but I'm not telling you.

Shaw returned to his usual cunning self, taking my cake and placing it on the table.

Shaw: By the way, you didn't finish saying "happy birthday" to me just now. You need to say it again.

Do we still need to add some solemn reflections and vows during our blessings? It seems unnecessary now.

Because those things have long been mixed into various half-true and half-joking remarks between us, inadvertently becoming our promises.

I gazed into his bright eyes, where there was a dazzling sparkle.

MC: Happy birthday, Shaw.

I hope his fiery eyes can see through my heart.

I sat with him in the empty theater, sharing cake and chatting away, even the amber twilight tinted with sweetness.

MC: I'm curious though, even though you perform at Live House, it's always this cool style, no interaction with the audience at all. MC: But tricks are meant to amuse the audience. It’s not quite like your character. Why did you agree to this show?

Shaw: I didn't want to agree to it at first, but I liked the role very much. MC: Do you mean you really like it? Are you referring to the Monkey King? Shaw: uh-huh. MC: Do you like the Monkey King? Shaw: What do you mean, you don't like it?

Shaw's rhetorical question was a bit too natural, so I waved my hand with a smile.

MC: No, no, I mean I didn’t expect you to like the Monkey King enough to be willing to play him.

Shaw raised an eyebrow, his fork gliding through the cream twice.

Shaw: I didn't have the chance when I was young. Growing up, I had to experience it at least once.

I caught the key words instantly.

MC: Your childhood dream was not to become the Monkey King, right? Shaw: Don't you want to?

The tone of this rhetorical question is even more natural this time. I'm both surprised and amused, always feeling...

It was as if I was holding the hand of kid Shaw whom I had never seen before.

Now I seem to have only one last question left for this perfect birthday.

MC: So why have you been in such a good mood lately? Just because you get to play the Monkey King?

Shaw [ponders over a bit]: Yes and no. Mainly because here, I can satisfy what I wanted to do when I was young—unrestrained, free, and easy. MC: You seem pretty free and easy in Loveland City too. Shaw: It's different. MC: What's the difference?

I asked this question twice, but Shaw didn't answer. He just looked at me with a smile.

After a while, he suddenly spoke.

Shaw [hesitant]: MC, do you think I seem particularly childish and domineering today? MC: Hm?

Upon careful reflection, today's Shaw indeed rigorously exercised the authority of "the birthday star is the greatest," appearing much more assertive and straightforward than usual.

Upon this realization, the question he just avoided answering... I seem to have... a hint of an answer. I chuckled.

MC: Perhaps just a little bit, but it's nice to give yourself a reason to be childish for a day, isn't it? MC: And there is someone to be childish with you.

I pointed to myself. Shaw looked satisfied, leaned over, and took away the last trace of cream from my lips.

Shaw [pleased with her answer]: That's right, it's great to have you by my side. Shaw: "The Monkey King" has had enough freedom. It's time to return with you to Loveland City, back to the mortal world.

—

🙉 Epilogue 

🙉 Call

🙉 Texts

🙉 Video call 

🙉 ASMR 

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

"Note from the translator"

Heya! I hope all of you're in good health. It has been a while since I last posted something, life has been quite hectic for me 🫠. Annnyways first of all I apologize if you find my translations sloppy or find any mistakes, plz feel free to tell me. I'm currently so busy right now that I've hardly had time for other stuff, Summer courses + internships are quite overwhelming 😵‍💫for me. So plz don't think that I've given up on Shaw cuz I'll never ever give up on him😤!! I'll translate his content wholeheartedly but do expect late updates from me! I just wanted to clarify this so that you guys don't think that I've abandoned this blog.

That's all from me! Thank you sooooo much for all of your support and please continue supporting me in the future cuz it adds more fuel to my motivation🥰! Have a nice day!

—

[losergames]

an update! - 6th june '24

oh my god it's june, where does the time go --

i am still active! even though the blog isn't very alive, i'm still around and writing. there's not much to update on as i'm in a pretty slow period at the moment, re-evaluating bits and pieces of the game as i continue to move forward with episode 04. i am 20k in - so about a third of what i'm estimating the total episode word count to be.

i've also recently had a little breakthrough regarding the PC's father in the game! i intentionally left this character vague to give myself room for if i ever wanted to flesh him out or for people to head canon their own ideas about the relationship etc. but, now i actually have a pretty solid idea of where i want to take him! it'll mostly be background plot, something that could be developed later on if i decide to go that way.

this is also crazy late but thank you to everyone that entered my milestone giveaway a few months back! i ended up doing two portraits instead of the one - felt it would be fairer and a nice prize for both people! Maz and Sunny were selected for the two short stories as well. i've got some ideas down and slowly writing them but i do not have a time or date for when they'll be here - sorry!

lastly, i do really appreciate people checking in and seeing if the game is still around; the support means everything, even in these slower periods, and it's really cool to see people still tuning in and finding the game for the first time. thank you all again and have a lovely day ❤️

[emotionallyattachednerd]

Only Human | TP Ratchet x f!human reader | NSFW 18+

Word count: 2500+

Warnings: Smut ( sex and light bdsm ), soft dom Ratchet, angst, depression and robot on human.NSFW 18+.

Notes: This story was made from two requests. The title was originally 'Aftercare' but I felt this new title was more suited for this story. There's a lot of emotions going on, and a human just being human, like we all do, and Ratchet having patiences with her. There's more angst than smut which is slightly different, but I did like to get into the angst a bit.

Thanks for all your support. Enjoy. 🥰

☕ Coffee

Everything lately has been such a big effort, from simply getting out of bed, eating food, or even brushing your teeth, everything just feels like a lot of work. You get these moods every now and again, though this time it seems it's lingering longer than you would like.

Working as a nurse had its ups and downs. You love helping others, making them smile and even sharing a small conversation with your patients. Although it can be quite intense, both mentally and physically, wearing you down day and night until you just want to hide under my blankets and never come out.

It seems the only good thing you have is Ratchet. You both met through June, after seeing one of them by accident and you were suddenly thrust into a world you never imagined, and you both slowly grew fond of one another.

Over time you both start growing more serious, and you discover he has certain kinks, as you do as well, and we are happy to participate together to fulfil these desires. In the past you've had horrible ex boyfriends with the same kinks, only for them to never work or they were just heartless towards you, at least this is how it felt.

All in the past. Ratchet is different, on so many levels, and you want there to be a future for you both. Although those thoughts lately have been clouded as you weren't even sure how to fix yourself, and you feared he'll grow tired of your dull mood soon enough and leave.

It was date night, and you put on your best smile and outfit for Ratchet, trying to sugar coat everything to be as happy as possible. When he comes over he uses what is called mass displacement, giving him to become your size at least. This you liked, because it means you can spend time together anywhere, and even much more sexual things together.

All you want is to keep Ratchet happy, to give him reason to stay with you, to show you weren't boring at all and keep what you have still thriving. You're a good girl after all.

You lay across his lap and let out a squeaky gasp as he gives your bottom a slap across your already sensitive cheek, which you lust after of course. Getting spanked like a bad little girl has always been a kink for you, and Ratchet seems to like it himself as he skillfully treats each side to a slap and whispering praises to you.

You weren’t being punished, you both only did it for fun.

This goes on for a bit, gasps turning into moans before he finally stops and tugs your skirt back down across your bottom. "That's a good girl." He allows you to stand back up

Your legs are so weak that you're unable to hold your weight up. Ratchet has you though, he always does, making sure you are looked after. None of your ex boyfriends ever did this so it was a little confusing at first.

"Ratchet, I'm fine." You try to assure him as he holds you in his arms and places you with care on the bed, settling you in his lap as he starts to gently massage your shoulders. You can't help but moan faintly from the contact and the soothing release it gives you.

"Hm. I want to do this, to give you attention and comfort, provide care for you." Ratchet answers, though he sounds perhaps a little leery, like he was treading carefully. You pick up on this but decide to not say anything.

Instead, you lean into his touches, trying to relax yourself under his touches. This goes on for a bit, and when he does stop he helps you sit up on the bed, soft gravely optics staring at you. He breaks.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine." You shrug it off, wanting to move on, but he refuses.

"Don't lie to me, please. You've been like this for weeks, only it's worse tonight. I wish I didn't ignore it before but I didn't want to impose or...." His pause has your attention.

"Or what?"

"If there's someone else in your life, someone human." He was hesitant as he asked this.

"Someone else? No, no, there's no one else. Why would you think that?" The fact he thought you might be cheating on him does hurt a little. He vents, a heavy relief leaving him.

"Then what's going on?"

"I already told you, nothing!" You snap, wanting to move on, but he wasn't going to make it that easy.

"Stop lying, I'm begging you, just talk to me. It's not just me, June has taken notice your clouded mood and she's worried about you, I am as well."

"So you're talking about me behind my back?"

"Primus..." Ratchet lets out an onerous vent, so heavy you feel the heat fog against your skin. "You shouldn't get upset because we care about you. I want to help, but I can't if you don't talk to me about what's going on. Please, I love you, and it breaks my spark to see you like this."

Your bottom lip quivers and you finally break down, sobbing gently as you bury your face in your hands while feeling his servo running across your back. You hate this, feeling weak and broken. Finally, you find your voice.

"Ratchet, it has nothing to do with you. This is how I am, an emotional wreck. I've had my moments all my life, they come and go so randomly. I just feel I have nothing in my life, it's just a blank and dark abyss, that's there's just no quality or value, no purpose. But I also know that's not true, and I tell myself that all the time. I have an amazing friend like June, a good quality job, and I have you, the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Hearing this makes him give a warm petite smile at you.

You manage to return the same smile through your tears before it slips away. " Like I said, it's not you, it's my problem. I don't want my burden on you. It's a weight I need to carry myself until it passes."

"Then what? You said you've had this your whole life, that it comes and goes, and that shouldn't happen. You don't need to carry this weight yourself, it's not fair. I wish you didn't degrade yourself mentally like this. Look what it's doing to you? You're miserable."

You roll your eyes through your tears. "Gee, thanks. You've been a great help."

"You shouldn't get upset or offended if you can't listen to what I have to say. I'm trying to help, but I can't if you don't ever talk to me about what you're feeling, and I can't give you words if you're only going to be annoyed over it." Everything he's saying is true, but you can't help yourself, it's just how you are.

"I'm scared you're going to leave me."

"What?' He sounds surprised and even a little scared himself. "I'm not leaving you. What gave you that idea?"

"You know, fucked in the head thoughts." You point bluntly against the side of your head. "I'm a wreck."

"You're not a wreak. You're only human." His touches were soft and you find yourself relaxing better under him. “What would make you happy?”

"I don't know..." You can only shrug.

"Do I make you happy?” Of course he's going to question that.

"Of course you do! I know I don't seem happy but...fuck!"

Ratchet lets out soothing hushes to you, servos massaging gently against your skin while you let out soft whimpers and cry out whatever tears were still left over.

"You don't need to say anything else. We don't need to talk about this anymore if you don't want to, I'm only trying to help. All I care about is your wellbeing and happiness, and I feel powerless. I'm unable to keep you happy."

"It's not your fault, it's my fault, my problem. Some things are just not meant to have an easy fix." That's what you had yourself convinced.

An idea comes to him. "What if we go somewhere?"

"Go where?"

"Wherever you want. I do have a ground bridge that can take us anywhere on earth." Hearing this seemed to light something in you.

That's it! Travel.

"Well...maybe we can go to Edinburgh, in Scotland? I heard it's beautiful there. How would you...join me?" You don't want to sound rude.

"I can take a hologram. We'll look like the perfect couple in love."

You're silently bursting with joy for what felt like the first time in so long. Ratchet smiles through a soft chuckle as he takes notice of your mood, a small victory from him.

"There's my glowing star. Shall we leave tomorrow?"

"Yeah, that sounds great."

It's official. You're going to Scotland! It's been a long fantasy to visit, but you were never convinced you were never going to make it there.

"Now, I think we can continue this in the bedroom?" He holds a broad smile making you nod early.

"Yes, please."

Laying on your bed naked, your hands are tied above your head, wrapped with soft silk and a fluffy blind fold across your eyes. The feeling is very erotic, your body craving the soft bondage.

Ratchet uses his servos to gently glide across your soft skin, letting his digits linger in certain places and making you mewl softly, hips wiggling with a lingering appetite and silent wishes for more.

He likes this, just as much as you do, something you both enjoy. All you ex boyfriends liked it as well but were much rougher, while Ratchet was more softer about it, not that you're complaining. It was just different and you weren't sure how to respond to his aftercare treatment.

Letting out a gasp you feel his digit push into your core and gently curl against your walls, another rubbing at your clit making you gasp out through a throaty moan.

"Does that feel nice?" He asks you gently. Though you couldn't see, you can feel his smile on you.

"Yes, so good." You manage to answer through your heated voice.

"You're clenched around me so tightly, haven't even spiked you yet. Your arousal levels are even skyrocketing." He smiles proudly. "You've very eager, aren't you?"

He doesn’t give you much time to answer, leaning down to kiss you. It always starts so softly, his lips on yours like you’re in the purest sort of love.

Your response is a muffled mewl against his lips, his glossa coiling with your tongue, his denta's giving a teasing nibble against your lower lip. You love it, the way he teases your body, it makes you wither with need. He just knows every weak spot on you.

A second digit is added, stretching you more, not that you need to be stretched as you are already soaking wet, but you both enjoy it, letting the moment linger for as long as possible.

You feel his mouth move to your neck, heated vents prickling against your skin as hsi glossa drags gently across, denta's nibbling at your flesh.

"Ratchet." His name moans from you, darkness still closes your vision as he keeps the blindfold on. "Feels so good." You clench yourself more around him, rocking your hips and moaning more, silently screaming for more.

His digits are removed and you feel them trail up against your body before touching your lips, and you eagerly take them into your mouth, sucking and gliding your tongue around them.

"Such a good girl, my beautiful star." Ratchet purrs loving the sight of you tasting your sweet juices. "You're perfect, never doubt that. I love you with all my spark." His words were warm and nurturing.

Letting his digits slip from your mouth with a wet pop you manage to find your voice. "I love you too." You whimper through your growing pleasure.

He settles between your open legs, pressing his already emerged spike against you and running his throbbing tip between your folds and across your clit, earning another gasp from you as your hands tug at the silk bounds.

Ratchet keeps the blind fold on you still and leans over, sealing his lips over your own, before sinking into your depths with a slow thrust, filling you to the brim and stretching you widely.

Your hips arch up off the bed, feeling his thickness fill you so much and letting out an ecstatic moan. clenching around him before he starts to move against you, slowly, rolling his waist back and forth against you with his servos gripped into your hips.

"Ratchet, fuck, you're so big." You mewl in delight, moving yourself with his movements. Your head tilts back against the plush pillow in your tied position while he moves slowly yet firmly, tugging you back against his movements.

His heated vents fill the air as he says words you don't fully understand, but you do guess it's things in his own language, repeating over again with each thrust.

His spike is quite fascinating you think. You feel every ridge and bump rubbing against your walls, every throb sending small jolts through your core and imprinting right on your brain, wilding craving for his thickness to be buried deep in your, day and night, like a beautiful addiction you didn't want to shake off.

His thrusts grow more intense, snapping his waist against you while his digit rolls against your clit more fiercely. The darkness wrapped across your eyes adds to the thrill, earning a stronger sob of arousal to echo out from you.

"I'll cherish you always, I promise." He tells you between each thrust given. "Go on, cum when you're ready darling. I've got you." He leans across your body, covering you, his firmly rutting against you now.

You don't hold back as you cry out through your boiling orgasim, clenching around his thrusting spike and arch up more off the bed, body breaking loose with jolts of electricity. Hearing his increased sounds and feeling every strong movement is the only warning you had before he jerks forward and you feel a bubbly warmth fill you to the brim.

You feel yourself being filled so much, some seeping out as every twitch feels like a shockwave through you. "Fuck..." He gently pulls himself out then, servos smoothing over your quivering body.

Once untied, he removes the blind fold and your vision is brought back, faced with Ratchet's tender gaze before he leans over and kisses you, letting your lips linger before kissing her cheek. You smile, silently thanking him, before nuzzling into him against his side with his arms wrapped around you.

"I'll always take care of you, my beautiful girl." Ratchet smiles softly before kissing your lips tenderly.

"Thank you, Ratchet, for everything." You can only murmur gently into his audio, before sleep takes over.

[sillystappen]

@justlookingforf1fanfictions gave me the idea of a maxiel! high school AU (I made everyone seniors) with discovering sexualities and I am SO DOWN for that. I've never attempted smut so this is really just dipping my toes in (though this is like 1% on the smut scale it's mentioned thinking). If hope this suffices for you though it may have gotten a tiny bit away from the original prompt lol. As in: I gave Daniel a mild sexuality crisis. But don't worry for the most part this is pure fluff.

Is It Chill That You’re In My Head?

Daniel is so ready to leave school, move away from this stupid town in the middle of Nevada and finally live the dream life of partying until 3am, having sex with the hottest women ever and getting some well-paid job that he actually likes compared to the shitty one he has at the corner shop.

Alas, he is not quite there yet. He just has to finish his final year of high school and June cannot come fast enough.

It's April, a pretty mild and sunny day where it's warm but not warm enough to make it feel like you have been shoved into a furnace. Daniel has this last month before exam season rolls around and his teachers have been breathing down his neck about revising for said exams instead of playing soccer with his mates in his spare time. Honestly, they need to get off of his back - he'll pass just fine, and his mocks went as smoothly as butter on a warm bit of toast.

He lifts his head off the desk ever so slightly when his teacher calls for everyone's attention. "Everyone listen up, we have a very late new student with us."

A new student? Now? Jeez that must suck for them, having to move schools right before the end of senior year. Daniel shrugs to himself and drops his head back on the desk.

"Hello, I'm Max Verstappen," a new voice says and oh, that's an accent. Daniel snaps his head up to look at the new boy, suddenly intrigued. The new boy, Max, seems nearly as tall as Daniel if he weren't so withdrawn into himself (clearly anxious to be at the front of the class with everyone's eyes on him), with sandy blonde hair and, despite looking from his seat towards the back of the class, the bluest eyes he has ever seen. They remind him of the ocean, beautiful and clear but also hiding something in their depths.

Daniel needs to know more about this guy.

"I expect everyone to welcome Max and be kind to him in the last months you all are here," his teacher says before turning to Max, "just find an empty seat and sit there for now."

Max nods and looks out towards the class before quietly walking down the middle to where Daniel is near the back. He gestures to the chair next to Daniel, the one by the window that nobody really likes because the sun can get in your eyes.

Daniel is slow to reply, not realising that Max was asking if he could move so he can sit there. For a while they just stare at each other. "Oh yeah, sure," he mumbles, the realisation eventually hitting him, tucking his chair in a bit so Max can walk behind him and sit down.

Max plops down next to him and rests his head in his hand, tilting it away from the window and towards their teacher, who started explaining some literature principles from the start of the year (lest they forget).

Daniel doesn't pay attention, he's much more interested in the way Max chews his pencil while he's thinking.

1 hour later, at the end of class, Daniel finally speaks to him. Max hasn't said a word since he sat down so Daniel still can't place the accent. They have both stood up, and slung their backpacks over their shoulders and Daniel deliberately stands in Max's path.

"Hi! I'm Daniel, nice to meet you mate," he smiles and sticks his hand out.

Max looks at it for a moment before shaking Daniel's hand in small , gentle motions for a second. "Max, but you know that." He speaks! Thank the Lord.

Daniel chuckles, "yeah, I do. I like your voice, where are you from?"

Max flushes. "Thank you. I'm Dutch. And Belgian too, but raised in the Netherlands."

"Oh that's awesome! I'm just born and raised here, nothing exciting."

"You seem exciting," Max says, as if it's a normal thing to say, like the sun is out, or you need oxygen to breathe. But he smiles, just a little quirk of his lips, and Daniel's brain unhelpfully supplies 'cute'.

It's then that Daniel realises they're still holding hands and in his sudden surprise of his own brain and that, he yanks his hand away from Max's maybe a little to forcefully because Max's smile drops.

"Sorry, aha. I just remembered I gotta go to my next class, as much as I'd like to stay and chat." Daniel rubs the back of his neck out of awkwardness as he half lies, because he really does have another class to go to but it's just two rooms down the hall.

Max nods, still emotionless, "me too." He steps around Daniel, lightly pushing him, and walks out the classroom door.

Daniel spends the rest of the day in his own head. God, why can't he just be normal for once? He's made things weird with the new guy and acts like he's attracted to the guy, like he's interested, which he's not mind you. Daniel Ricciardo is 100% straight, straight out of straightdom if you will. Sure it was nice to hold his hand, and he wants to make Max smile because it's cute and his eyes really are blue like the ocean, but that's just pure platonic feelings, he swears. He just wants to be Max's friend and know why the hell he came to butt-fuck-nowhere Nevada instead of staying in the Netherlands. And why now? Max just produces numerous question marks in his head and it's so confusing.

He doesn't speak to Max again until the following day at lunch, when he enters the school cafeteria. Daniel grins at him and calls him over to sit with him and his mates, Michael and Blake. Max seems hesitant but agrees. He sits next to Daniel and opposite Michael, though makes sure to put a bit of distance between himself and Daniel, just in case.

They hadn't spoken in literature class because Daniel was about 10 seconds away from being late and he really didn't want to annoy Max at 9 in the morning.

"Who's this Daniel?" Blake asks.

"This is my new friend Maxy." Daniel says.

"Maxy?" Michael questions. And shit, Daniel didn't realise he had said that. He doesn't really do nicknames for anyone, unless his friends decide to be annoying then an affectionate dickhead or asshole does get thrown around.

"It's Max," Max eventually speaks up, his cheeks tinged red, "I'm new. I joined Daniel's literature class yesterday."

"Oh, well, welcome Max. I'm Blake and this is Michael."

"Hi." Max's response is clipped and Daniel can't stand it. Blake and Michael give him a look of 'who is this person and why are you trying to befriend him?' and Daniel just shrugs at them.

"So, Maxy, Max, can I call you Maxy?" Daniel asks before launching his next question. Max looks at him, and Daniel feels like he can see into his soul and is about to pull out the thread keeping him together. Max stares like he is trying solve a puzzle and he must've found his answer because he says yes.

"Sweet!" Daniel swears he catches Max smiling at him when he cheers. It's a small thing yet again but Daniel calls it a victory. "Maxy, what are your plans when you finish high school? I'm going to do sports science hopefully."

"My dad wants me to do law." Max sighs and picks at his food. To Daniel, everything about that sentence felt off.

"Yeah, but what do you want to do?" Daniel prods.

"It doesn't matter."

"I don't know Maxy, it matters to me." Daniel half expects to descend into an argument but what he doesn't expect is the way Max looks at him, a real smile, albeit close-lipped but real and big, stretches across his face. Max looks down in an attempt to supress it, and Daniel is having none of that.

"Hey." Daniel shifts closer and brings his hand under Max's chin, lifting his head so Max looks at him. Then Daniel just stops working, his following words disappearing into thin air.

Max looks at him like he's a mystery and a wonder, which is clearly a good thing judging by the way he is still smiling, albeit a little smaller and softer. Daniel lets himself move his hand to cup Max's jaw and he swears he feels Max lean into it. If Daniel had to describe Max right then, he would've told you he looked beautiful. Maybe he could-

Michael coughs suddenly and Daniel drops his hand, he and Max springing apart and what the hell was that?

"Literature and writing," Max says suddenly. "What I actually want. It's literature and writing."

Conversation goes back to normal after that. Towards the end of the day, Michael corners him at the school gate.

"Look, mate, you know if there's anything you need to tell me then I'm here for you," he says, which is weird in itself because Michael knows everything there is to know about Daniel.

"What are you on about?" Daniel asks.

"Just... you know... about you and Max-"

"There's really nothing to it. I want to be his friend. I'm not gay," Daniel cuts him off sharply, the vague implication getting to him a little.

Michael remains calm. "I'm not saying you are; you don't have to label yourself. I'm simply saying if you were interested in Max the same way you would be interested in a girl then it's ok."

"I'm not. I literally have known him for two days and it wasn't like he just walked his pretty self into class and rocked my world just like that."

Michael raises an eyebrow at the word 'pretty' but doesn't comment on it. "Alright, man. I guess I will see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see ya." Daniel waves and walks out the gate.

The rest of the week and the next one continues in a similar pattern. He'd see Max in class, then hang out with him at lunch and something weird would happen that Daniel would shake off, such as them linking pinkie fingers in the middle of class only to let go when the teacher calls on Max, or Daniel wrapping an arm around Max when he sits down with them and forgetting to let him go until Michael eyes him questioningly. Daniel just concludes that he's simply a physically affectionate friend to Max, who has not complained at all about it.

Max slowly opens up to the group, mainly Daniel. He tells him all about the Netherlands and what school was like there (pretty interesting stuff, if Daniel is honest), as well as why his dad relocated them to the states. Turns out his dad thinks there's more money to be made as a prosecutor in the US than the Netherlands and chose now because he wants Max to go to an Ivy League school to follow in his footsteps.

One day Max tells him and only him that his mother and sister are still in Belgium, and that his parents are divorced because his father is abusive. Daniel hugs him that day and tells him that he is welcome over any time should he need it.

He learns that Max is a huge nerd though, much like the rest of them and Daniel usually ends up on the receiving end of a book-rant. He doesn't understand what Max is talking about most of the time, but he talks so passionately and uses his hands to emphasis every word ever that he just cannot find it in himself to stop him. It's frankly adorable.

He also goes to watch them play soccer on Fridays. He doesn't play, mainly because Max claims he isn't very good, but he is a very good cheerleader for Daniel, much to the complaint of everyone else.

"But Max, I have scored more goals this match than Daniel," Blake had once said.

"So? Daniel needs the extra motivation then!" Max had proclaimed.

Daniel loves how comfortable Max is with everyone now, and how he has grown out of his shell and starts to be more reciprocal to Daniel's affections, so to speak, even initiating some of his own. For example, Max often taps his foot against Daniel's which sends warmth through Daniel's body. Another time Max just simply leaned into Daniel and rested his head on his shoulder while he was talking to Blake. Daniel, once again, didn't think much of it let alone properly realise it until someone pointed it out.

Max also tries to teach the group a little Dutch but eventually gives up because according to him it sounds like they're gargling water. Max burst out laughing when Daniel attempted to say 'I am 18 years old'.

It was the first time Daniel had seen him like that and he wanted to bottle up that laugh so he could hear it forever. And God, his smile is gorgeous. His whole face lights up and his smile makes the corners of his eyes crinkle. Daniel has made it his mission to get that to happen again.

Daniel is also realising that maybe, just maybe, these aren't exactly thoughts you have about a friend. He wants to protect Max, to hold him and never let go, but also be the reason he's happy and laughs. However Daniel has never ever been into a boy, and it kinda ruins the 'dream life tm' he has pictured for himself because now said picture is starting to have Max in it: the two of them on a sofa watching some shitty Netflix show. He curses Michael in his mind, blaming him for putting the idea of being with Max in his head.

As he lies on his bed on Sunday, end of the second week with Max, he allows himself to think about kissing Max. Max's lips always look soft and maybe it would be as nice as a girl. He'd hold his face the same way he did two weeks ago, eventually thread his fingers into Max's hair as he kisses him. Girls usually like that. Maybe Max would be in his lap, holding on to his torso like a lifeline as Daniel deepens the kiss into a full-on make-out session, their tongues dancing together as they run their hands along each others bodies and up their shirts and the feeling of Max's skin would be enough to drive him crazy as Max pushes him down, smiling against his lips and-

Daniel sits up abruptly, forcing out the images from his brain before he ends up with more than a semi. He then startles because holy fuck he is getting turned on by thinking about Max.

He immediately calls Michael.

"Bitch, what do you want? It's 1am." Michael groaned down the phone.

"I'm definitely attracted to Max but like... I'm not gay."

"Congrats on finally realising. I called it from day 1... well day 2 for you," Michael says smugly.

"I hate how well you know me sometimes." Daniel grumbles.

"No you don't."

Daniel simply hums. "I'm not gay though. I still like women."

"As I said, you don't need to label it. You just like Max."

The words are comforting; Daniel still likes women, but he also likes Max which means he is still mostly straight. And being called bi or pan also doesn't seem right. He just likes Max.

"Now answer me this," Michael says, "is this just a physical thing or-"

"No! I want to know everything I can about Max. I want to make him laugh and smile and protect him. Y'know, all that sappy shit. I mean, I do think he's very nice to look at but..."

"Yeah yeah I hear you buddy. That's good for you. Anyway, I'm hanging up and going to sleep. You should do the same."

Daniel's phone beeps before he can say good night.

It's felt... good admitting it aloud. It felt like it became normal instead of being this weird thing he had been trying to avoid for two weeks and living in a state of denial. Saying it to Michael was akin to a rock being lifted off his chest and he can finally breathe again.

But just as Daniel is drifting off to sleep he wondered how the hell he is going to face Max the next morning.

Monday morning comes around Max sits in the same spot by the window he always does. Daniel admits that he does shamelessly stare at Max, and how the morning sun makes him look golden. Full send, right? He likes Max in the same way he would like a girl, so he shouldn't be acting any differently. That's his solution to last night's conundrum. Max doesn't seem bothered when he catches Daniel though, and smiles softly at him, making Daniels heart do little flutters.

They can't stare at each other forever so eventually Daniel pulls his gaze away and half-tunes into the lesson on the importance of the curtain being red or some shit like that. He also heard some paper ripping but makes a conscious choice to not look for the sound.

At the end of the lesson, Max taps his shoulder and places an origami flower behind Daniel's ear, made from a torn page of Max's notebook.

"For you," Max says, then walks off happily to his next class. Daniel carefully touches it, not removing it from where it's sat. The stem is tucked into his curls and the flower seems intricately made. It feels romantic and Daniel can't help but blush as he traces the folds of the paper with his fingertip. He doesn't move it for the rest of the day.

Lando, a junior Daniel knows but wouldn't say he's friends with, finds him in the hallway between classes and comments on it immediately. "Ooh Daniel, who's that from? A girlfriend?"

"Haha, no it's-" Daniel cuts himself off. It's different telling Lando than it was telling Michael. Shit, is he ready to even be out like that, to where the whole school knows? Sure he has only a few months left but still, it's a big thing.

"Who's it from then?" Lando prompts, reaching up to touch it.

Daniel swats his hand away. "A classmate," is what Daniel settles on saying. It's technically still the truth.

"Damn, you should ask this classmate out. She is definitely into you!"

"You think?" Daniel tries (and fails) not to sound too hopeful.

"Duh! This is some master-craft shit," Lando says like it's obvious. "Whoever gave this to you must like you. And you clearly like her with the way you're parading around with it."

Daniel nods and scampers off to his next class.

He spends the whole hour wondering how the hell he will even tell Max he likes him and well... he's got nothing. Sure, he said 'Full Send' and all that but Max is different, from a girl and everyone else. He wants it to be important and not just dumped on him during lunch break like most people do. Max is special and deserves to be treated as such.

Therefore the logical thing to do is ask him on a date after school and take him somewhere nice (which is pretty hard in middle-of-nowhere Nevada but not totally impossible) and romance the fuck out of him and potentially kiss him.

Boom! He has a plan! (Someone be proud of him; he's putting himself out there for Max.) Now to set said plan into motion.

At lunch, he sees Max but he keeps it as normal as possible, because really there are no boundaries with them. When Max notices he still has the paper flower exactly where Max left it, he beams like the sun, eyes scrunching up and smile splitting his face. "You kept it," he says.

"Of course, I wore it proudly all day," and Max preens at that. Daniel continues, "It's so pretty, I can tell. Where did you learn how to make this?"

"I got bored one day, and thought that it would be nice to give someone I like."

"Aw Maxy," Daniel coos, reaching to hold Max's hand on the table and lacing their fingers, "I love it."

Daniel can tell Michael is giving a 'really?-right-in-front-of-my-salad' look but hey, he should've known this would happen. Blake has gotten used to their shenanigans but even he looks at them weirdly. Daniel doesn't let it get to him, not this time.

He shuffles closer to Max, pressing their thighs together and starts to chat with Michael about their god awful math class. He never shies away from Max, who almost melts next to him and Daniel fights the urge to kiss him there and then.

He's practically bouncing off the walls of the hallway when the bell for the end of school rings. He lingers by the gate, waiting for any sight of Max and beelines towards him when he sees the familiar ocean blue eyes. "Maxy!"

"Oh, hi Dan." Dan. Not long after Maxy became a thing, Max started using Dan instead of Daniel, and Daniel loves it. It feels intimate to hear Max call him that when everyone else uses Danny or just Daniel. "What's up? I do have to go though, so I'm gonna have to rush you."

Ah of course, his dad and Max's extracurriculars. Daniel makes it quick. "pleasegoonadatewithme."

"...what?" Ok maybe too quick.

Daniel clears his throat and plucks the origami flower from behind his ear and starts twirling it in his hand, watching the flower spin and admiring the petals as he repeats himself. "Maxy, please go on a date with me."

Max doesn't speak, and to fill the silence and to stop himself from panicking, Daniel keeps talking.

"I really like you, like had a full on gay crisis over you because I've never felt this way about a boy like ever and you're like so you and so so perfect, and I know this town doesn't offer much but I will try my damn best to make it special and all romantic and-"

"Dan. Yes." Max eventually says, cutting him off. He's smiling ear to ear in the way Daniel loves the most. "I really like you, too. I thought it was pretty obvious. I don't go around making those," Max gestures at the flower, "for anyone. I told you that they're for the people I like. Besides, I also don't let just anyone touch me like you do."

"Oh," Daniel says dumbly. Because, yeah, that all tracks.

"Now I do have to go, but I have some free time on Thursday after school if that works for you?"

"Yeah, that's brilliant Maxy," Daniel says a bit too eagerly for his liking.

Max plucks the flower from Daniels hand and puts it back behind his ear, tucking it gently into his curls. He presses a quick kiss to Daniel's lips and says a quick "bye" before darting out the gate, leaving Daniel standing there, touching his lips in a daze.

June can wait. Thursday cannot come fast enough.

[the---hermit]

30|05|2023

23/50 days of productivity

Finally a sunny day, I don't know how long it will last, but it was great. This book I am reading for uni is becoming my arch nemesis, it will be my villain origin story, I am detesting it. I have been complaining a lot, but I have to get my frustration out so you'll have to excuse me. I got the weird idea of trying to power though the last two chapters tomorrow. I am not sure I'll manage but if I read them both in the morning when I am more focused I might manage to accomplish that. Wish me luck.

Productivity:

posted my first update on the 2023 fantasy reading challenge

finished writing down notes (and highlighted them) for the fourth chapter of Detienne's Creation of Mythology

read and highlighted the fifth chapter

wrote notes for the whole fifth chapter (I wasn't expecting to finish it today, and I am very proud I did)

finished downloading the recorded lectures of another course I want to work on in June

Irish on duolingo (still on my bare minimum bullshit so there has bene zero actual progress lately, but it's all my brain can take atm)

Self care:

read first thing in the morning

I'm trying to pay a bit more attention to my skin care but idk how long it will last (at least I'm trying)

📖: She Who Became The Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan, The Creation Of Mythology by Marcel Detienne

[oliversrarebooks]

The Rare Bookseller Part 31: Fitz's Showtime

Masterlist

June 1905

TW: mind control, captivity, hypnotic induction

Fitz wasn't one for making plans, normally trusting in his ability to wing his way through any situation life threw at him. That approach had worked well enough until it had ended up with him imprisoned in a vampires' auction house.

Over the past few days, he'd already suffered what was practically a fate worse than death: being left with nothing to do but stew in his own mind. His treacherous brain had helpfully supplied an exhaustive list of every mistake he'd made along the way to end up here, and all of the ways he could have avoided this fate now that it was too late.

But with his cell neighbors unresponsive -- and he didn't want to think too hard about how that might have come about -- there wasn't anything at all to occupy him apart from meals and sleep. The meals were surprisingly generous and varied, and Fitz supposed that if they really were vampires, they must be fattening him up the way you would a prized pig. Sleep was less generous, as the pitch blackness, complete silence, stiff cot, and vampire guards all conspired to make him uneasy.

So he had plenty of time to think of how he would approach it when Lily came for his mind. Now, he'd ended up in a plush, too-comfortable chair, facing down the vampire who'd captured him.

He wasn't even tied down. He'd been nothing but ingratiating towards the vampires the whole time he'd been here. Lily had made it beyond obvious that he wasn't going to escape through strength or speed, and on his first night, he personally witnessed an angry, cursing, struggling man being dragged away and coming back a hollow shell.

No, that sort of struggle was pointless. He could instead bide his time. Be friendly and charming. Hope that someone would let their guard down or give him a special privilege. He'd have an easier time of it and more opportunities to free himself. At least, that was the theory.

Of course, all of that was for naught if he were actually put deep under whatever mesmeric spell they were using to keep the other captives still and silent.

He knew very well now that Lily was capable of it. He also knew that simply resisting would not do -- little chance they would give up and let him go instead of trying over and over again until he was broken. No, the only thing to do would be to play along, pretend to be under her spell, and hope he could keep the spell from touching him in truth. The longest of long shots, but he didn't have a better idea.

"So I hear you've been on your best behavior," said Lily with a smug smile. "Joking around with the blood grader and everything."

Fitz lounged in the chair as though his existence weren't on the line. "I wouldn't dream of being rude to a man who calls my blood special grade A fancy."

"And here I worried you might be trouble. But it seems you do know your place, better than you think," said Lily. "That's why I have a proposition for you."

"If it's another five dollar bet, I'm going to have to respectfully pass on that."

"Oh, no, nothing like that," she said, amused. "As I told you before, I'd like to sell you to a friend with deep pockets and a soft heart. I think he will appreciate you. The less you resist the conditioning, the more I can allow you to keep that wit of yours. That works out for both of us, doesn't it?"

"Oh, yes, just peachy," he said. She couldn't possibly think he was daft enough to trust her a second time, not when she held all the cards.

"I know you don't believe me, but it's actually a great deal for you. You'd live in a mansion and have an easy life, all in exchange for just a bit of blood." Her words were honeyed, and Fitz could practically feel them worming their way into his mind. "You won't have to be Fitzwilliam de Hastings, disgraceful and useless third son of the de Hastings shipping conglomerate. You won't have to be Phantom Fitz, scraping and clawing for fame with your little magic tricks. You can just be Fitz. Loved. Wanted. Cherished."

If only any of that were true. If only it weren't just a trick to soften his mind and get him to accept a vampiric master, one who would "love" and "cherish" him the same way he might "cherish" a fine bottle of wine.

"As intriguing as all of that is, and as flattered as I am by those lovely descriptions of me, I'm going to have to decline your offer," he said with a tight smile.

Her own smile turned predatory. "You haven't really given me a chance to persuade you."

"I think I've heard --"

"Have you, though? Or have you been half paying attention while focused all on yourself?" she said, leaning in closer. "Here I am, my entire focus centered on you, and you aren't repaying the favor. Why don't you focus, Fitz? Why don't you relax?"

There was no doubt she was exerting her power this time. Fitz could feel the magnetic pull of it. This was it, this was showtime -- the moment he had to somehow convince her that he was being enthralled, without actually falling. He couldn't make it seem too sudden or she wouldn't buy it. What should he do? Should he be visibly affected by what she just did? But he'd hesitated and --

"You think too much," she said. "I'm going to need to stop that first. Slow and soothe your mind, make it so hard to think that you just give in and listen. Look where all your thinking and scheming has gotten you. Won't it feel so much nicer not to do that?"

He nodded, with a bit of hesitation, widening his eyes, playacting that her mesmerism was taking him down once more. Lily was good at luring a mark, but so was he. 

"Yes, isn't that easy?" she said, amused. "Just let my words soothe you so you can listen. It'll feel so good when those racing thoughts slow down. We both know it's inevitable, so why keep searching for an escape that won't come? Why not take the easy and pleasant path?"

"Because, as I told you before, I don't care to be a vampire's convenient lunch box," he said, making sure to slow his voice and lace it with doubt. The more she thought he was falling, the more careless she would be.

"It's so cute to watch your thoughts turn in your head. I can practically see them, dear. I can see that machinery working those threads of thought, weaving them together into plans and fears and witty little comments. I can see all the weaknesses in those gears, all the places where they can easily be slowed. Can you see it?"

"Hm?" he said, caught off guard, not sure how he should respond to that one. Did she suspect what he was up to? Of course she might, she might've mesmerized hundreds of people for all he knew, and he surely wasn't the first to think of pretending.

But that didn't mean she was always successful. Of course she claimed that she was. That was an important part of the confidence game; he would've done the same in her shoes. But for all he knew, her actual success rate was poor. Surely he wouldn't be the first to fool her. After all...

After all, he was...

Fitz blinked, trying to remember the end to that thought.

"...you don't even need to listen as your mind slowly drains of its cares and worries... so relaxed... so comfortable..."

He shook himself in mild alarm. She'd been talking this whole time and he'd zoned out thinking and hadn't kept up his act. He arranged his face into what he hoped was a convincingly dazed expression.

"How are you feeling, Fitz?" she asked.

"...Good," he said, an answer that seemed safe, as he wasn't quite sure how she expected him to feel. 

"Good," she repeated. "Isn't this nice? Having someone's full attention on you without having to fight to earn it? Isn't it nice to be so wanted?"

His brow furrowed. "Well..."

"That's how it's going to be from now on. No more fight for attention, no more fight for approval, no more fight for survival. You'll have your needs taken care of and overflowing praise to boot. Just like you crave, deep down."

Oh, she was good. Good enough to make his chest ache with the thought of what she was offering. If only...

"You're going to be the best thrall, Fitz. I've never seen anyone as delectable, handsome, and charming, with such an intoxicating scent. You'll have your vampire eating out of the palm of your hand -- literally, perhaps."

Fitz blinked slowly, wondering how he should react to keep up the game, trying to ignore the warm sensations he got from the praise, no matter how manipulative and insincere "Do you think that cheap flattery will work on --"

"Look at me," she said, hooking a finger under his chin and gazing straight into his eyes. "You can see it, can't you? A future of being cherished and loved?"

"I --"

"Imagine a vampire who wants you, one who wants so badly to drink deep of your blood that he practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll want you always by his side, his beloved prize, protected and treasured."

It wasn't hard to imagine. It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about things like this on lonely, difficult nights. Something beyond sex and courtship. Intimacy. Comfort.

The kind of things that he hardly dared to think about for long, lest he feel their absence too keenly. The kind of things that were meant for those who had grown up wanted, who knew how to trust and let themselves fall in love. These delights weren't meant for the kind of person who wore a mask wherever he went and conned everyone he met.

"Just relax." She ran her fingers through his hair. "No more pain, no more struggle. No more struggle, now. No more struggle."

If any of this were true, it really wouldn't be so bad.

"No more struggle, no more fighting, no more resisting."

"I'm..." he mumbled. "I'm not..." He had to pretend that he was falling. He let his eyes blink so slowly.

"Oh, my dear, my Fitz, I know you aren't. You're doing such a good job right now."

His eyelids fluttered. "I am?"

"Yes, yes you are. You're doing such a good job. I told you, you're a natural. You're perfect."

He couldn't help but smile. That was good. She believed it was working.

"That's a good boy now. All you really want is approval, isn't it? For someone to see you and decide they're exactly what they need."

"Yeah..."

"You're going to have that, and all the praise and approval you could ever want," she said. "I promise."

He couldn't trust her, he remembered. This was all fake, just like every other time he'd been promised something. But he had to pretend that he believed. He was good at pretending. 

"That's right, you're good at pretending. You're doing such a good job pretending to go under for me, Fitz."

Fitz felt the relief wash over him. Thank goodness for that. He'd been so nervous about this the past few nights, trying to convince himself that he'd be just fine outsmarting a vampire and saving himself. 

Wait --

"It's okay!" Lily laughed. "It's okay, really. I know what you're up to. I expected that from you, of course. And I know what you fear. You fear being made mindless and docile like most of your cell-mates."

Fitz crushed down his panic. His plan wasn't working, his mind already felt hazy and sluggish from Lily's mesmerism, and now his worst nightmare might be about to come true. He'd spent so long escaping from a family where every little word and move was regimented, scrutinized, criticized, judged and punished. At least in those days he could escape into his head. Now, he'd be brought back to that place, with no recourse.

"...Yes, obviously, I fear that," he said, hating how vulnerable he sounded but not knowing what else to say. "Who wouldn't?"

"Who wouldn't?" she echoed. "But it doesn't matter, ultimately, because I've already given you a powerful hypnotic trigger the first time I had you in my thrall, and told you to forget it."

Adrenaline surged through him. "No, there's no way you --"

"Showtime, Fitz."

He only had one more brief moment to panic before his mind shut down entirely.

---

"...two, one, and wake. Come back to the land of the living now, Fitz."

He opened his eyes, feeling like he'd just awoken from a really refreshing nap. It took him a second to realize where he was and what had just happened to him, and all relaxation was immediately wiped out by his fear. Miss Lily had given him a hypnotic trigger, she must have erased his mind, he'd be nothing more than --

Except... he clearly wasn't.

"Confused?"

"You..." He wasn't really sure how to approach this. "You didn't wipe my mind, sir."

"Did you want me to?" she asked with a grin.

"No! Absolutely not, sir," he said. "But you had me -- you knocked me out --" He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to make sense the overwhelming swirl of thoughts in his mind. Grateful that he still had an overwhelming swirl of thoughts in his mind. "What did you do, sir?"

"I made you obedient to vampires. I removed your ability to escape. And I made you crave our feedings. Nothing more, nothing less."

Fitz stared. It couldn't be that simple. Not that he was thrilled about the changes, but he had expected much more and much worse. 

But he didn't feel different. He was still capable of thought. He was still nervous. He could still remember who he was.

"If that's all you were going to do, sir... why did you bother with all of your setup? Why not just mesmerize me the moment I walked in?"

"Because mesmerism is a performance, dear Fitz. I thought that you of all humans would understand that," she said. 

Fitz could feel his eyebrow twitch.

"There's magic involved, of course, or it wouldn't take so strongly, but magic alone doesn't make me so effective at molding perfect thralls. Cold reading, misdirection, distraction -- all of these are critical to what I do. I needed your original plan to fail before I truly conditioned you, and I needed to plant the seeds that a vampire might cherish and accept you. The results speak for themselves, don't you think?"

"I'm not even sure I can tell what the results are, sir."

"Precisely."

Fitz scowled. Was he really that obedient now? Did she actually make him "crave their feedings"? So he would just accept some bloodsucker gently tilting his head to expose his vulnerable neck... a wicked grin as sharp fangs grew closer... his mind growing hazy with pleasure...

"Oh, goddamn it, sir."

Miss Lily laughed. "Now do you see?"

It was a relief, in a way, that he could feel the results of the thrall now. That meant he could get a bead on what she'd done to him. "Yes, I'm afraid I do, sir -- hold on, you also made me call you 'sir', didn't you?"

"Any vampire. Yes. But you're allowed to say it as sarcastically as you want."

"Thank you for that most gracious allowance, sir."

"Oh, you're very welcome."

Part 30.5 >> Masterlist >> Part 32

Extras: Emily's Crayons Fitz in the Snow

Fitz's Volunteer Part One

Thank you for reading about Fitz.

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist @xx-adam-xx @ivycloak @irregular-book @whumpsoda @mj-or-say10 @pokemaniacgemini @whumpshaped @whumpsday @morning-star-whump @shinyotachi @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @pirefyrelight @theauthorintraining-blog @whump-me-all-night-long @anonfromcanada @typewrittenfangs @tessellated-sunl1ght @cleverinsidejoke @abirbable @ichorousambrosia @a-formless-entity

[cilil]

can i have a Striptease - Bathing - Nipple Play for Mairon/Eonwe pwease🥺🥺

Gentle June

AN: Yes, you can! I'm late, as is just how it often goes this year, but I hope you enjoy regardless. @tolkienpinupcalendar, here I go!

❀ Prompt: Striptease, bathing, nipple play | Mairon x Eönwë ❀ Synopsis: Mairon wants to clean (and play with) his filthy bird. ❀ Warnings: Nudity, touching, sensual ❀ Short oneshot (~700 words)

"Undress."

"Why?" 

Eönwë looked up in surprise when Mairon impatiently reached for the clasp holding his tunic together. 

"To clean those filthy feathers." 

"They are not." Regardless, he moved to do as he was bidden, not wanting to disappoint his companion. 

"Not so fast." 

"No?" Eönwë frowned. "Am I doing this... wrong?"

Mairon was not exactly known for patience, priding himself on his efficiency and chastising others for dawdling. This time, however, he seemed to be of a different opinion, eyeing the other disapprovingly. 

"Take your time. Make yourself pretty." He smiled sweetly. "For me?" 

"I can... try?" Eönwë wasn't sure what he meant. 

He received a tender but somewhat condescending head pat from Mairon. 

"I know you lack experience with these matters, but you are very good at following orders, are you not?" he purred.

"What matters?" 

"I want you to get naked so I can touch you, Eönwë."

"...oh." 

Eönwë lowered his head to hide his embarrassment. Of course. A silly question in retrospect, though he still didn't know at which point he'd been supposed to guess that this was where this encounter would lead. He had expected them to simply share a bath in the lake around Almaren; but then again their sculpting project hadn't remained within the strictly platonic realm either. 

Maybe Mairon liked seeing his fána naked.

Either way, he obeyed. Straightening his back, tilting his head to the side to expose his neck, he slowly undid the clasp and let the fabric slide down his torso. His belt followed suit, then what little clothing remained; it was warm and many Maiar opted for light and fewer clothes to cover themselves. 

Mairon appeared to be pleased. He stepped out of his sight, came up behind him, embraced him. Eönwë loved the feeling of closeness, of intimacy. What exactly his friend? lover? had in mind, he didn't know, but he was eager to find out. 

Maybe he should start relaxing and preparing his fána in case Mairon wished to make use of it. 

Lips brushed against Eönwë's nape. Being the taller of the two served him well in situations like these. He slightly bowed his head, both in deference and for better access. More kisses, then a tender bite. He was generously rewarded for his obedience. 

Mairon's hands wandered up his torso and settled on his chest. 

"You are sweaty," he remarked, whispering in his ear. 

"I trained all day until you called me here," Eönwë replied. 

"So you are a filthy bird." He could hear the smile in Mairon's voice. Being the imperious creature that he was, he loved being right.

His index finger caressed his right nipple, and Eönwë gasped at the sensation. This particular part of his fána hadn't received much attention before, he hadn't known that it was this sensitive. 

Mairon toyed with it until it hardened, then pinched it to draw more noises out of him. 

"Do you like this?"

"Y-yes." 

"And when it hurts?" A harder pinch, then a twist. 

Eönwë let out a whimper, but nodded. He had never minded a bit of pain, craved it even. 

Mairon tried his left nipple next, repeating the same motions. Once again he seemed pleased when his efforts resulted in similar reactions. 

"The filthy bird likes that indeed," he purred, and his right hand shamelessly slid down Eönwë's flank, dipped between his legs and wrapped around his hardening cock. 

Another pinch, thankfully from his left hand that still rested on his chest. "I wonder if I should get you a lovely piercing," Mairon mused. "I would take good care of you after. And knowing you, you might even enjoy it."

"A-ah, mmh... we can maybe try that later if it would please you?" 

Eönwë attempted to focus on keeping his muscles relaxed even as he was torn between sensations, pain and pleasure setting his nerves ablaze. In his mind, he could already see Mairon lifting one his legs and fucking him without warning. He would love that. 

Yet before he could wonder how he might make this dream come true, his fantasies were interrupted by him being picked up and carried away. 

Confused, he looked up the fiery Maia. "Are we not...?" 

"We are, but I told you how filthy you are." Mairon smiled and stepped into the water. "First we shall clean your fána inside and out and then, if you behave, you shall be rewarded."

Thanks for reading! ♡

taglist: @a-world-of-whimsy-5 @blauerregen @bluezenzennie @destinyeternity1 @edensrose

@elanna-elrondiel @eunoiaastralwings @i-did-not-mean-to @just-little-human @numenhore

@sauron-kraut @singleteapot @urwendii @wandererindreams

[shantismurf]

"The Mushroom Mine" sign by @shantismurf, with assistance from @tickles-ivory

As part of the celebration of the one year anniversary of the Bagginshield Book Club, we asked the lovely @chrononautintraining a few questions about this wonderful work.

June 2024 Author Q&A with Chrononautical

Q1. What name would you like us to use and what are your pronouns?

A1. Chrononautical or Chrono, She/Her

Q2. How many years have you been writing? 

A2. Most of my life, but posting publicly for about 15 years.

Q3. What do you think of as your writing style - are you a plotter or pantster?

A3. Pantster, primarily, though I've learned my lessons and do like to know where a story is going to end when I start it these days so I try to plot. 

Q4. What’s your favorite genre/trope to write? 

A4. Speculative fiction: stories about magic or science fiction, primarily. 

Q5. Is there a genre/trope you haven't written as much of yet that you're excited about for future writing?

A5. I'd like to do more comedy.

Q6. Was there an idea or scene that inspired A Passion for Mushrooms?

A6. Passion for Mushrooms is one hundred percent inspired by the quote I used for an epigraph: "Hobbits have a passion for mushrooms, surpassing even the greediest likings of Big People." - The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien. 

When I decided to write it, the fandom already had more than a few stories about Bilbo planting gardens and deciding to stay in Erebor with a miraculously alive Thorin. I was completely here for all of that, of course, but I wanted a story where the garden wasn't special because of gold or rare plants bought with gold. I wanted there to be a treasure that Bilbo could appreciate with the Baggins half of his heart, as well as the Tookish bit. And I know next to nothing about mountains, but I do know mushrooms do okay in caves, so... 

Q7. Did you do any special research before writing the work?

A7. If you're asking this because I go deep on How To Pluck A Chicken In A Medieval Kitchen during the cooking scenes, you're right and you should say it. I am a middling cook, but all of my ingredients come from grocery stores. I had to do a fair bit of research on the cooking aspects of the story that were furthest from my own experience. Fortunately, the professor already put tomatoes and potatoes in Middle-earth, so I didn't have to go Full Historical. 

Q8. Did the story change from how you originally envisioned it? Were there scenes or plot elements you had to cut out?

A8. It absolutely did. Because I am, as previously said, a pantster. I wanted a bigger bang for the ending of the story than I was set up to get. I could have stopped with Bilbo and Thorin getting together and had some simple falling action, but that didn't perfectly tie the subplot of Dis and Tauriel back to the main pairing, which I knew I wanted. Having Doron try to poison Bilbo was actually a late in the game choice. If I'd planned that from the start, I would have threaded him into more of the middle sections of the novel. 

As for cutting things out, the additional stories in the series started as deleted scenes/reader requests that I couldn't find use for. So most of what I cut didn't end up in the rubbish bin. Anything that wound up there really wasn't worth posting. 

Q9. Do you have a favorite moment from the entire series?

A9. I still really like "A Spy In The Shire" a lot. I know it's so self-indulgent to say that about a story focusing on an OC, but if the point of the Battle of Five Armies is to reclaim Erebor for the dwarves, then I want that to mean something. I want the average dwarf to be in a bad place. I want the average dwarf to need Erebor the way Thorin needs Erebor, to be willing to do anything to get back to the Lonely Mountain. Because if that's the case, then all the sacrifice means something. When I talk about this one luckless dwarf on the world's silliest quest to figure out how to help the king hook up with a hobbit, I'm talking about hope for the future. I'm talking about all the people who long for and dream of the home that Thorin was willing to die to reclaim. I think about them going back there and living better lives. It brings me peace.