#I'm about to Mcfucking lose it

[aloneonceagainaspredicted]

Haha, I'm extremely normal about the fact that even after 15 years apart both Valeska twins can predict each other's steps:

Jeremiah planning ahead for the eventual moment in which Jerome will come after him, trapping him in what he knew would be an inevitable search for his proxy that was fully prepared to apprehend Jerome for him.

Jerome being able to navigate that labyrinth regardless of the fact specialists couldn't find the exit, because he REMEMBERS how his twin used to draw them and learned.

And mimic the other/get under each other's skin, effortlessly:

Jeremiah fooling literally everyone into believing Jerome was still alive, from the very detailed makeup of the scars to the SPEECH PATTERNS and sense of humor(that they somewhat share).

Jerome getting Jeremiah to react(aggressively) when he hands him the knife, being the reason he tries to confront a police captain(and break the law by hiding a criminal), ultimately making him mad AND even after death, remaining as a hard topic for Jeremiah.

Which AT LEAST means they were very close, co-dependent even. Jerome shows his most vulnerable moment while talking about his twin running away in the twisted circumstances that he did and Jeremiah felt ENTITLED to handling him, being 100% certain he would be coming for him even if

'Jerome never talked about me after I left'.

That totally doesn't fuck me up, I'm completely and utterly goddamn fine :)

[holocene-sims]

i built this cafe for my story and i felt like sharing it as a random follower's gift, so tada! here it is ☕

details:

price: $39,895

lot size: 20x15

originally built on 6-4-1 hanamigawa in mt. komorebi

not cc-free & uses most of the packs

bonus:

three pieces of cc are included in the file (abandoned cc reupload)

also included is a list of all the other cc you'll need to download + the packs i used in the build!

download:

(no ads) - dropbox

[mommy-mortis]

[mcchicken-scratches]

hey man listen im not normal about your djmm fics i made fanart 😭

A.

[underwhelmingalchemist]

Starting pride month with the pharmacy denying me my testosterone prescription until mid-June and my doctor saying she can't do anything about it because it's a controlled substance 🙃✌️

[partyrockin]

how long do you need to be hyperfocused on an interest for before you can call it a hyperfixation? wrong answers only

nah but seriously, with this account i feel like a herald in a village square announcing my newest hyperfixation to the masses. and then i dip for months on end until i come back and announce another thing i like lol

[queen-of-bel]

.

[loftwinglullaby]

*grabbing my fav musician by the shoulders* pleASE honey can you use amazon like a normal person plEASE PLEAES

[neverbesokind]

My computer is running slowly again like it's about to fail AGAIN I literally am about to lose it

[growsgardengrows]

Thinking about. Mindlflayers being willing to put themselves in danger to protect their prosthetic bodies. V2 enraging when you punch her with her own arm, bowing and cracking her knuckles before fighting. The swordsmachine having an entire subculture based around it. The earthmover seemingly screaming in terror the moment it sees v1. V1 itself letting gabriel and the prime souls speak freely before and after fighting them, tossing a coin to the ferryman, naming skeletons. You won't get away this time. O mother of me. The terminals have grown bored. I'm losing my mcfucking mind

[somerandomdudelmao]

Cass CASS cass CASS

Cass I'm gonna mcfucking lose it I Have To Wait To See More Flashbacks Into The Flavor Of Person Holly Was??????? HOLLY USED TO BE AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FLAVOR OF PERSON?????????

Something something lobotomies something something my old theory about Holly being a priest something something What The Fuck What The Fuck What The Fuck

Glad to see you're having fun haha

I'm going to dive into his past and I'm actually reeeeally curious to see everyone's reactions on..uh..real Holly because yeah he absolutely wasn't that ray of sunshine 24/7.

[tavina-writes]

CQL and Genre Intertextuality

I'm being bashed over the head with the "nhs's fan in CQL is made of xuantie/dark iron" thing again and @poorlittleyaoyao please understand that I am thinking of this constantly since you made that post talking about it because I'm just.

holding my head in my hands bc ye gods the cql show writers were genre savvy in ways that are hilarious but also make me feel like I've been hit upside the head with a waffle iron.

For those of us who are no longer damaged by the post or hadn't seen it (I don't actually know where it's gone bc the search feature doesn't work on this webbed site):

Xuantie/Dark Iron is a Jin Yong created metal that famously was used for the blade of the Dragon Slaying Sabre in the third novel of the Condor Trilogy, 倚天屠龍記/The Heavenly Sword and Dragon Saber.

The Heaven Reliant Sword 倚天劍 was created from Yang Guo and Xiao Longnv's Gentleman and Lady swords, whilst the Dragon Slaying Saber 屠龍刀 was created from Grandmaster Dugu Seeking-a-Loss's Dark Iron Sword.

Can we please all take a moment to appreciate how NHS's fan not his saber, NHS, from The Family With The Sabers, gets to shout about how his fan is made of xuantie. The most famous for being the metal that made up The Dragon Slaying Saber. His fan. Not his saber. his fan. dark iron. Dragon Slaying Saber. This is so funny I'm about to mcfucking lose it yet again while typing this.

Going back to Grandmaster Dugu Seeking-A-Loss (who appears in both Return of the Condor Heroes and Xiao Ao Jianghu) and his giant pet condor (sadly, only a ROCH feature) who might've been his one true soulmate for a second, this situation from episode 7, when the Yunmeng Siblings are leaving the Cloud Recesses:

Now, the subtitles here really DO NOT do this line justice because when I first saw it it took me FLAT THE FUCK OUT and I had to lie on the floor laughing for like, 80 seconds before I got my breath back.

Okay, what this line ACTUALLY says is "I am Dugu Qiubai (Grandmaster Dugu Seeking-A-Loss), what's wrong with seeking a match?"

Now, to understand this, we come to this backstory on Dugu Qiubai in XAJH:

“Senior master Dugu Seeking-A-Loss, who created this set of sword techniques, had a name ‘Seeking-A-Loss.’ He had been seeking a loss all his life and still couldn’t get one. Once the sword techniques were executed, he would become unmatched anywhere in the world. Why would he have to defend? If anyone could have forced him to draw his sword back and defend himself, the respectful master would have burst with joy and be delighted beyond measure.” Feng Qingyang said. “Dugu Seeking-A-Loss, Dugu Seeking-A-Loss,” Linghu Chong muttered as he imagined how the senior master had wandered about the Martial World, unmatched anywhere, with only his sword, and couldn’t even find a single one who was capable of forcing him into a defending stance. That was truly admirable.

from Chapter Ten of XAJH: Sword Training.

"If anyone could force him to draw his sword back to defend himself, the grandmaster would have burst with joy and be delighted beyond measure" DO YOU SEE WHY JC STARTED CALLING WWX SHAMELESS NOW. they're JUNIORS. WWX is calling himself "the greatest man of all, who'd sought the feeling of losing just ONCE being forced to defend himself just ONCE in a LIFETIME" and saying "LWJ might be my equal. my soulmate. the loss I was seeking my whole life."

All 15 years of it I'm sure, WWX.

I'm not going to get into finding martial arts manuals or a respected grandmaster who taught you incredible things in a cave bc 1) LHC and Feng Qingyang up there are sitting together, in a cave and LHC is being taught incredible things and 2) Duan Yu from Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils once found the magic finger lasers of ultra laser in a cave. In front of the statue of a goddess. (don't talk about the dancing goddess statue now, Tav. We don't have time for that in this post.)

Not kidding the intertextuality of CQL and how much it plays with and against the tropes of its genre, especially other wuxia tv adaptations as well as wuxia novels is insane. There's other ones I'm missing for certain and these were just the most funny to me, personally, but! just! oh my god! insane! insane! SO funny, so clever in so many ways

[wombywoo]

i want you to know that every once and a while i think of your 'he's just british, i'm sorry.' comment on the post defending yourself from someone accusing you of using ai and i mcfucking lose it. that was the funniest fucking comment i've ever seen about sam's looks. (i love sam. but he is just british.)

asdfgh thank you 🤣🤣artificial 'art' technologies have not yet achieved that perfect bland Mancunian look™️and they never will! 💅

[kanansdume]

I think my problem with Ahsoka's characterization in the show is that it's not ENOUGH. She's not ENOUGH of an asshole. Like yeah, sure, she's a little distant, a little prickly, a tiny bit of a mess. I want this woman to completely and utterly fall apart, I want her SHATTERED, I want her to just mcfucking lose it somehow. I want her to completely shut everyone out, I want her snapping at everybody who tries to get close to her, I want her insisting she knows best when it's so so clear that she doesn't, I want everyone around her trying to reach out and help her and have her refuse every single offer because she doesn't think she NEEDS it despite how obviously she does.

That's the biggest problem I've seen with Ahsoka for a LONG time now, since at least Rebels, but potentially since Seasons 4-5 of TCW, too.

It's not ENOUGH. She faces things too calmly, she's not reacting as much as she should. Her Master comes back to life after 15 years of thinking he was dead and it turns out he was the one who betrayed her all along, he's the monster that haunts her nightmares, and then he immediately tries to kill her again, and she hasn't really ever broken from that. That should BREAK her. We got an entire six episode season where we saw Obi-Wan completely broken and depressed, he was refusing to help people we know he wanted to help, he wouldn't stand up for himself against Owen, he lived in a cave by himself, he couldn't reach Qui-Gon no matter how hard he tried, he could barely use the Force, and he got trounced by Anakin when we all know Anakin was never his equal. And all of that was established within the first three episodes of the show, the same amount of episodes we've now had for Ahsoka, so it's not like I'm not giving the story enough time here.

THAT'S what I wanted for Ahsoka, that's what I want to see in her, I want her beaten down and at her lowest so that we can actually see her go through a story where she has to pull herself together again. But she just seems... fine. She's a tad distant, the barest hint of prickly, she folds her arms and doesn't smile much I guess. That's it. That's the extent of what we get to see of her having to live with the truth about Anakin and what that means for her.

And it just isn't interesting. It's not enough. This isn't a deep dive into Ahsoka's character, we're still just skimming the surface.

[assortedvillainvault]

Hi! I was browsing the Lord Shen tag and found your blog 👀. I loved the headcanons for ShenxReader through the wolf henchmen's pov ❤️.

Would you mind sharing some headcanons but from the pov of the fluffy Lord peacock himself?

Hi Anon, thank you so much!!

I'm so sorry that my Lord Shen Masterlist slipped my mind - I'm fighting tumblrs atrocious tag search to find my previous writings for him and get them on there for you. In the meantime please - have some more!

Lord Shen x Reader Headcannons

- This stuck up, mithery, hairpin tempered ball of anxiety and condescension is officially your problem now. I mean. You chose this, so I’ll leave it to you as to what end of the bad choices scale you’re landing on, but man. You sure picked.

- I also can’t get over the fact that – in China and most of the East: white is associated with death and sadness, and mourning. You not only picked the unhinged genocide gun bird, you picked the only person in all of China to be literally born emo via albinism.

- I will get back to the above, but I’m mcfucking losing it over the image of Shen being. The smaller of the two of you.

- Like if you were a smaller creature he could properly get his elegant noble stride on, nose in the air and tail gently swishing behind him as he circles you, admiring every angle and relishing the nervous, excited little glances you give him. He might not be a strictly predatory species but he sure loves that thrilling edge of not-quite-stalking. He’s too high class for the genuine article, that’s what he has the wolves for.

- But if you had the audacity to be larger than him?!

- He’d grind his teeth if he had any. He wants so badly to intimidate you – making sure to step with an extra click of metal coated talons, words honey-barbed and sticky as he looks for chinks in your armour, having to crane his head back and up to look you in the eye and- look- could, could you just- just lean down? Lean down for goodness sake just- there. There. Lovely. As he was saying…

- Shen going to go bananas planning the perfect courtship. Everything must be. Exactly. As he plans it. God forbid you trip on the stairs. If you bribe the guards to move all furniture two inches to the left you’re going to have a great time watching Shen’s eyelid twitch for twenty minutes as he tries to figure out what’s ticking him off.

- Want a shortcut? Say nice things about his cannon. No seriously, it’s not a euphemism (though it could be-)

- The cannon is the culmination of Shen’s ambitions, the reason for his exile, the demonstration of ingenuity that set him apart. Seeing you run a hand smoothly over the intricate castings and complimenting his life's work is going to fill him with so many butterflies he’ll have the wedding ready by noon.

- Of course he does, underneath all the royal snobbery and sass, really, genuinely like you. More than he ever thought he could ever like another person. Go you.

- ...He can’t contain the terror that you might not like him back. Not because of all the murder, no, that’s clearly not the issue. But because he isn’t perfect enough for you. Because he’s not enough.

- Shen popped out of his egg all but rocking the 2007 bangs and MCR soundtrack of his time: born the colours of death in a house and species traditionally all the colours of the rainbow will have been like a self fulfilling prophesy – unspoken but not forgotten as he grew up and internalised his inadequacy by striving for excellence in literally everything else in life.

- Excellence in the form of weaponry, security, excessive control and genocidal ruthlessness. Combined with ingenuity, high intelligence and paranoia: all wrapped in a package of straining courtly manners and a need to constantly have the upper hand.

- You keep taking the fucking rug out from under him by reversing the script and being nice. Even his nanny (soothsayer, who has having a great time munching popcorn and giving incidental commentary) gives him shit and drives him up the wall – yet you’re out here, smiling (how dare you-) and- and saying he looks good (he knows, knows he looks sickly and out of place, a reaper amongst royalty-) and – of course you want to hand his hand really, who wouldn’t (who would?) - he’s fine, he’s fine-

- If he dared to let you go, he’d shatter like a discarded doll.

- How does it feel, reader, to hold the fate of all China in the balance of your smile?

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

august 17, 2021 4:00 a.m. paradise hotel

three hours later

[grant] you know, i didn’t get a good start to dealing with the whole “my body is broken” thing.

[henry] huh? oh, sorry, i'm awake and heard you; i was just surprised.

[grant] the first time that, um, i got really sick after my sister died, everyone just thought i was mcfucking mentally losing it. i mean, i was, but also i could not get out of bed, could not walk, couldn’t hold a toothbrush even because my hands wouldn’t move…

[grant] and my parents, who are medical professionals, wouldn’t take me to any doctor because they thought i was melodramatic.

[henry] you missed two months of school. we went different schools but i remember that. i didn’t see you for that two months either.

[grant] they only ever took me because they got tired of dealing with me, and they were getting in trouble for me being truant. and what do you know? like every other kid with something wrong, the answer was growing pains. you're tall for your age, so that's it!

[henry] doctors are stupid sometimes.

[grant] tell me about it. i lived with two idiot doctors for eighteen years. the proof is in the pudding.

[grant] and then, uhh, there’s the whole…

[grant] the whole college thing.

[grant] did i ever tell you how i became an addict, bud?

[henry] you’ve never wanted to.

[henry] i assumed it was because people try to numb childhood trauma. and i could tell something was not right with the college hockey team situation, but i didn’t know what or if that was connected at all.

[henry] it could have come from anywhere. most everyone in college does drugs. i smoked a lot of weed.

[grant] it’s both of your assumptions. there were a lot of things i needed to suppress, and i didn’t know how to control myself after tasting the slightest bit of freedom from my parents. but also…

[grant] the dudes on the hockey team hated me except sebastian. i just didn’t click. i wasn’t the right kind of person to fit in that very dudebro jock locker room.

[grant] so, on one hand, i started on a bunch of party drugs and alcohol because i figured out that when i got fucked up out of my mind, they finally found me funny, and you know how i am.

[henry] you are really desperate for people to like you and for you to not feel like you're imposing.

[grant] it’s totally true. i need to be liked. and need is the right word. it’s not as bad now, i've grown out of it a bit, but still, the feeling is there. i need to be liked and to not be anyone's burden.

[grant] yet that’s not the whole story.

[grant] i was, um, well, also illegally prescribed a lot of painkillers.

[grant] by the team's medical people.

[grant] my health issues were already there, but playing a contact sport made it worse. i'm gonna be honest, i don’t remember what happened, but i got some kind of back injury, and i went right back to that state i was in after my sister died.

[grant] seriously, same stuff. couldn’t really get out of bed, couldn’t function. at least not without...

[henry] oh god. i don’t like the way this sounds.

[grant] i was naive enough to hope that people might do the right thing for me once in my life, so i told the medical staff, like, hey, i'm suffering, and i need help. and they just kind of, uh, waved me off and said their job was to patch me up so i could be on the ice, not fix me.

[grant] i was already trouble in all the staff's eyes because i was the odd one out in the locker room, and that's not looked upon well. so, in hindsight, i should have seen literally all the red flags or should have been brave enough to just break down and see a real doctor elsewhere again, but i didn’t.

[grant] anyway, the team staff offered me opioids and i gladly took them. and they kind of sort of barely worked. so i took more. and more and more, and i mixed them with all kinds of other substances. like, i should probably be dead from the amount of mixing i did or from just the sheer volume of drugs i took. also, no one gave a fuck how many times a week i came in to ask for drugs as long as i played hockey good enough.

[henry] and you were good.

[grant] still, the pills never genuinely made me feel better. they just got me high enough to forget about suffering. that makes sense now because i have a diagnosis and have heard nothing but anti-inflammatories are going to really work on resolving the whole pain thing. too late for that, though. i'm an addict. yes, am, not was, even if i'm sober. so, i won't touch them now. i haven't in years.

[grant] but there you go! there’s the story.

[grant] that feels supremely embarrassing to have told, but i wanted to get it off my chest. you are my best friend. more than that. you're family. you're my brother. i don’t have to be afraid to tell you anything and you deserve to know the truth.

[grant] especially because you've never shied away from honesty and you stuck with me that whole time. i don’t think most addicts are lucky enough to have friends and family that patient. and i tried many, many times to push everyone away so i could destroy myself in peace. i wouldn’t blame any of you if you had given up on me.

[grant] yeah. it's not very kind of me to receive that much, um, grace and love and forgiveness, and not at least reward and thank you with the truth. the full and honest truth, even if you didn't ask for it. oh, and a window into why i am the way i am, why i keep my mouth shut.