#I'm definitely the funniest person alive

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

[tinyluvs]

Can I get a fic of Reader slapping Spencer's butt for the first time randomly while he is making coffee or walking by and he does know how to react and Reader thinks his confusion is the funniest thing ever. (Up to you if you want to extend it further iykyk)

the mental image this gave me is *chefs kiss* tyyyy so much

the smell of coffee starts to fill spencer's apartment, you give a small sniff to the air, trying to figure out what coffee pods he's using but to no avail, you can't work it out from the bed

with a yawn, you wander down the hallway, smiling to yourself when the sound of classical music pours out from a distant radio, "morning," you hum as you round the corner into the kitchen

spencer startles slightly but turns, back resting against the countertop as he looks at you, all gentle eyes and a soft smile, "morning honey, coffee?" he asks, tilting his head slightly

"please," you answer simply, pulling yourself up onto the corner of the counter. you start to sway to the music, not a personal choice but definitely not the worst thing you could be listening to early in the morning

you watch as spencer finds one of your mugs and one of the pods he had bought specifically for you, "do you want breakfast?" he asks, pushing the mug under the stream of hot water

"no thanks angel, just coffee for now," you mumble through another yawn. he hums, acknowledging your answer while his back is turned towards you.

the coffee machine splutters quietly and seconds later spencer's pushing your coffee mug along the counter with a gentle smile and a nod.

you mornings are always the same. you get your coffee, silently sipping it while your boyfriend moves around the kitchen, making his breakfast without saying a word, just the radio playing softly

by the time you're done with your coffee, spencer has already finished his cereal. you hop off of the counter when he starts to roll up his sleeves, kitchen sink filling with warm water

"thanks pretty boy," you giggle, finally feeling alive and not like you're sleep walking. you reach round one side of his body, dumping the mug into the sink before passing behind his back and without thinking, you slap his ass, not hard but just hard enough to make a sound

spencer makes a noise you've never heard before, a mix of a grunt, shriek and a shout, which makes you jump and whip around to face him again, "what was that? what is wrong with you?" he gasps, eyes wide as his hand flaps to turn the taps off

"have i never slapped your ass before?" you ask slowly before biting down on your bottom lip as you attempt not to laugh at the look of pure horror on his face

his eyes somehow widen even further, just for a second, his head shaking slightly, "what? no!" he huffs, brushing the butt of his trousers with both of his hands

the whole ordeal is too much and it forces you to break out laughing, your hand on the counter as you double over, "i'm sorry," you struggle out between a cackle and a cough

"no you're not," spencer grumbles, arms folding over his chest, "why on earth would you do that?" he asks, seriously, glaring at you fiercely.

it takes longer than you'd like to admit before you're recovering, standing up straight, hands wiping a stray tear off of your cheek, "it's just something people do when they're in relationships, spence," you explain

your boyfriend looks at you completely unconvinced, "why?" he asks again and you're sure you can almost see the cogs turning in his brain

you shrug, "because, people like it, i don't know," you take a step towards him and he takes a step back causing you to snicker, "why, didn't you like it?"

"no!," he shrieks too fast but then his eyes soften and he thinks, hard, "actually, i don't know, it surprised me too much," he says quietly, a red blush passing over his cheeks quickly

your laughing and giggling subsides, "want me to do it again?" you ask, softly, not wanting to make him feel embarrassed about anything

"not now,' spencer says slowly, starting to back away from you, "would probably be awkward now, right? right,” he asks through a nervous chuckle as you start to stalk after him

you hum, not a yes or a no as your eyes travel down to his hands, moving to cover his butt, "spence, i want a kiss, i'm not going to attack you," you do giggle this time

spencer makes a slight oh sound before crowding into your space for kisses, lots of little ones, tasting like coffee before he's kissing you a little longer and slightly deeper. he gets distracted, his hands sliding over your waist, just like you knew he would

"aha!" you cry, victorious, as both of your hands slap at his ass before he knows what's happening. you turn on your heel as he gasps, loudly, taking off back towards the bedroom

"i'll get you," he shouts, only a few steps behind you. it's your turn for your hands to shield your butt now, zigzagging your way down the hall until you're launching yourself into the air and landing on the bed, pressing your back down into the mattress with a giggle

thanks for reading! remember to like! reblog! and comment! i’ll give you a smooch if you do, ily !! send prompts to my ask box!

❥ spencer reid masterlist !!

+

i like to think that spencer does like it, eventually. blushes when you walk past n gently tap at his ass BUT going up stairs in front of you gives him the FEAR to the point you just tease him about it

[nortism]

What the Ghosts have been watching on TV

Everyone

Channel 4 Home renovation shows: They're free with ads and there's an infinite amount of them so Alison puts them on for the whole gang when she and Mike have work to do in same way people put on YouTube videos for their dogs. This has backfired slightly as all the ghosts now have very strong and conflicting opinions on how Button House should be renovated.

The Great British Bake-off: A whole family event, they all get very invested. Kitty thinks Alison Hammond is the funniest person in the world. The Captain feels normal about Noel Fielding. As well as a watching it live, I'm sure they've also watched the whole back catalogue together.

Mama Mia: This where the Captain learnt his ABBA songs from. Pat and Julian enjoy the nostalgic music and I think the others are just bewitched by the story and music

Robin

Anything David Attenborough: For obvious reasons. I think he'd get a kick out of trying to do his voice. The others sometimes join in.

Cunk on Earth/ Britain: I think they've got a similar attitude towards history and I think he'd find serious historians trying to answer silly questions incredibly funny

Horrible Histories: He watches this with Kitty, they both find poop jokes funny.

Humphrey

Antiques Roadshow: I'm not sure why. I honestly think he's just glad to watch anything.

Mary

Gardener's World: I think she misses being able to look after plants and I think she'd be endlessly fascinated by how hosepipes work.

Mio Mao: She loves them fucking plasticine cats. She will not stop singing the theme song

Honestly think she'll watch anything with anyone and would get invested, she seems like the ideal person to watch telly with.

Kitty

Ru Paul's Drag Race: I think they all watch this every so often but Kitty is invested. There's bright colours, fun outfits and drama, it's definitely Alison's go to when she needs Kitty distracted.

90s and 2000s romcoms: I believe that every couple of weeks Alison and Kitty have a "girl's night" where they watch all the romcoms that Alison used to watch with her mum, mostly because I love watching romcoms with my mum and Kitty deserves that. Kitty is particularly fond of Twilight.

Thomas:

Any Jane Austen adaptations: He watches them with Fanny as they were both big fans when they were alive (its the only thing they agree on). Kitty also joins sometimes. His favourite is the 1995 Pride and Prejudice tv show.

Fanny:

Grey's Anatomy: I haven't seen it but my mum's a big fan and there's millions of seasons, I think she'd pretend she's not that into it but she definitely is.

Call the Midwife: Same as above.

The Captain:

M*A*S*H: I've seen about half an episode of this but it seems to be about fit young men in a war so it sounds like his thing. Probably Pat's recommendation.

Our Flag Means Death: I think Alison has been trying to sneakily show Cap gay media under the pretence of saying "it's just a fun show about pirates". I think the whole gang watched it together. The Captain definitely didn't cry at the end of season 1 why would think that?

Pat

Taskmaster: I think this is one they all watch together but it's definitely one of Pat's favourites. He probably attempted to set up his own version of the show with the ghost which ended horribly.

Doctor Who: I think he watched the original run when he was alive and was absolutely ecstatic to find out they made more. Julian makes fun of him for it.

Julian

Have I Got News For You: Has been airing since 1990 so he definitely watched it while he was alive. I think he likes to keep up with current politics but not in a very serious way so this is his middle ground.

Succession: I haven't seen this show but it seems to be about horrible men in suits being horrible to each other which seems right up his alley.

The Thick of It: Speaking of horrible men in suits being horrible. I think he watches this with Robin who has absolutely no idea what's going on but just laughs when Julian does and they have the best time. Julian is constantly pausing to add his own anecdotes

What We Do In The Shadows: Alison put this on as a 'let's show the Captain it's ok to be gay' show and the Captain was immediately horrified so Julian adopted it. He identifies with Lazlo.

[bloodreddemons]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 7-8 (Finale) Hot Takes ~

I personally loved a lot of the Charlastor content in the beginning. So cute.

The deal Alastor purposed to Charlie was also very predictable. We already knew they were going to eventually make a deal but that deal in particular was just very predictable.

I think everyone knows this already but that "one little favor" that Alastor is going to ask of her is going to bite her in the ass. We don't know what he's going to ask but it's definitely gonna come back to haunt her.

She may even make a deal with him again possibly in the future, who knows.

I'm surprised Vaggie didn't know Angel's could be harmed or killed. Its weird that she also didn't know how to fight against one.

Rosie is a real gem and a wayyyyy better friend than Mimzy fucking is.

I love Carmilla & Vaggie's dynamic. I think they both are very much the same personality wise. I definitely can see Carmilla as a mother figure to her or at least a teacher to her, which she pretty much is.

To follow up, I loved Carmilla training Vaggie and helping her get her wings back. Out For Love was also really really good. I liked it a lot.

Never thought I'd hear Alastor call someone an old bitch but it was everything.

I knew Charlie was gonna forgive Vaggie regardless of anything but I love Auntie Rosie.

I didn't really like "Ready For This". I wish I did like it. Especially since it had Charlie, Alastor, & Rosie in it. Idk I liked Out For Love more.

Vox's commentary was funny asf but he's also such a hater. Not even a low-key one lmao.

The post-fight celebration and speech was actually very sweet. Although I wish there was more time and episodes that we could have seen more of the characters bond. I also wish there were more opportunities where we got to know them better.

I really thought Angel & Husk were gonna fuck this episode.

I wasn't expecting for Sir Pentious to say "I love you" to Cherri Bomb so soon and I also didn't need to know he had 2 dicks.

"More Than Anything" Chaggie version was pretty sweet. It'd be cool if there was a longer version idk if there is. They also kissed which was nice.

Adam & Lute are funny asf. Especially Adam. They may be horrible people but I just can't get over how funny they are. Even when they're about to massacre Charlie's people. Lol.

I wasn't expecting the war to be kinda epic. The shield that Alastor put up over the hotel kinda reminded me of the last Harry Potter. When they all put a shield around Hogwart's to protect everyone from the death eaters and voldemort.

Adam might just be the funniest character in this series dead or alive. Heaven or Hell.

It pisses me off how Charlie barely does anything in the fight. Like, this is her people and her fucking hotel as she keeps saying... yet everybody else but her is fighting. Wtf? Girl yo ass should be in Sloth.

I love Alastor & Adam's dynamic, their first impression of eachother is so hilarious. The fight between them was also very entertaining. I was really curious to see who would win.

I was actually kinda surprised that Alastor was defeated so easily. I honestly thought he was stronger than that, but tbh Adam is very powerful he's the fucking first man, extermination commander, and he already single handedly broke Alastor's shield.

People have pointed out Alastor's "normal" voice when his mic/staff breaks, because it's his voice without the radio filter. Imma be honest I wasn't that shocked at all, he just sounds the same to me, the radio filter just adds a cool effect.

Charlie really could have got tf up there and helped Alastor out. Idk if she thought he could handle himself or what but fuck.

SIR PENTIOUS KISSING CHERRI WAS AMAZING. WE WON. But then he "died"...

To follow up that sacrifice was anticlimactic at the same time. Mostly because of the way Adam just effortlessly zapped him out of existence.

I'm so disappointed in the "Charlie finally snaps" bit. I was literally dying to see this part in the series, where Charlie finally loses her shit and stands up for herself or whatevever....but it ended up being extremely disappointing and yet again, anticlimactic.

Charlie's transformation along with Razzle & Dazzle was kindaaa cool, however...her getting her ass kicked within like 0.3 fucking seconds was not. It was embarrassing for a demon of her status. I can understand Alastor, but seriously Charlie? You can't beat him? The clownery.

I loved the Vaggie & Lute fight. Let my girl Vaggie finally get her ones. Lute needs her ass beat disrespectfully for what she did.

Although...Lute was winning that fight, she was still holding her own and getting more hits in. I don't even think Carmilla's teaching's were working. Lmao damn. That bitch is fucking scrappy.

Vaggie should have just ended Lute. I know she's too good for that, but she really should have just killed that bitch. She left you for dead you should have just killed her.

Charlie stabbing Adam and standing her ground was badass, but that was kinda it. She still ends up almost getting choked out. Lame.

Charlie just isn't that powerful. 😒 Or at least as she's supposed to be. Maybe it's still not really shown to us, but so far she just isn't that threatening at all. Very disappointing.

Lucifer coming in kinda pissed me off. I wish Charlie could have actually handled everything herself without her dad having to come in and help her. I just feel like it'd be more impactful for her and her character.

Adam x Lucifer actually does seem kinda hot....just me???

Their fight was very entertaining despite already knowing who would come out on top. Hehe.

"All of Mankind came from these fucking nutts" is pure poetry.

Nifty is a menace and I have been saying it since the very beginning. If anyone should be running shit it should be her. Alastor is so feared but it should be herrrr.

I didn't like "The Show Must Go On" as a song but it was sweet in the sense that it was about Charlie and her found family helping her rebuild her hotel and still have the determination to keep going. Also it helps lead off into Season 2.

I'm fucking itching to know what deal is bothering Alastor and who he made it with. It's becoming more likely that it's with Lilith & that's who owns him.

I think it's obvious the deal possibly involve's Alastor to watch over or protect Charlie. Alastor is becoming bothered by having to do this because he literally almost fucking died.

I'm really worried about what Alastor is going to do when he's finally free and under no restraints from who controls him. I know Viv said Alastor isn't an antagonist but she could've just been keeping it a secret.

Alastor really might be a secret antagonist. He'll just be that surprise villain in the end that kinda comes out of nowhere but you still knew it was coming. I wouldn't trust him especially with what he said. Him pulling the strings can't be good.

I can't believe Sir Pentious got redeemed before Angel Dust, but still good for him! I'm so happy he got redeemed he truly is good and deserves it.

I was pissed asf when I saw Lilith in Heaven. Your daughter has been in HELL fucking struggling, while you've been sitting comfy up in heaven, the same place that is fucking YOUR people up!!! Helloooo??

My theory is that Lilith is Eve in disguise. I wholeheartedly believe that because something just feels off?? Y'all feel that too??? Lilith making a deal with Adam? Chilling up in Heaven? NAH MAN.

I also think it could be Eve who owns Alastor and that he knows of her being disguised as Eve, and is in Heaven. Like he's kinda in on it, but more so by force.

[kaeyachi]

So...I finished the Arlecchino story quest...

Spoilers below!

TW: Mentions of Suicide, Child Experimentation, Child Abuse, and Murder/Death

This is, by far, the best story quest I have ever done!

First of all, CHILDE?! CHILDE ESCAPING HIS PERSONAL AMBULANCE TO SNEZHNAYA JUST TO COME BACK TO FONTAINE TO ASK SKIRK A QUESTION? Bro is so funny, please-

please save him.

Wait, actually, yeah please do save him. Pulcinella and Pantalone are both plotting in the background, and they got Childe involved...

I also loved the children! Look at how terrifying they are! They're my absolute faves!!

Lyney cementing the reason as to why Arlecchino chose him as the next King is wonderful to see as well. For some time, I thought Freminet and Lynette had a shot, even with reading their lore. What I have failed to realize is that Lyney really is the inspiration for all of the people in the House of the Hearth. His frustrated and disappointed spiel about Freminet not trusting him with Clervie struck me to the heart. This is an older brother at work here people!

Also if I had a nickel every time a cryo younger brother hid a dangerous secret from his pyro older brother which got them into an argument once the truth came out, I'd have 2 nickels ✌️ (somehow gave me war flashbacks to a scene that doesn't even exist lmao)

LYNETTE IS THE FUNNIEST SIBLING BTW. SHE'S MY QUEEN FOR THIS.

Clervie! Our dearest! I'm not fully sure what part in her design did it, but she barely looks like an NPC somehow. Like, yes, this is still an NPC base model, but... is it perhaps the hair? And the extra lashes??

Also, her calling Arlecchino "Perrie" made me sob. I wasn't ready to hear nicknames!!

The mention of Snezhnayan auroras also made me sob again as well. You know what? This entire thing made me sob.

Clervie's dread and horror at the thought of her own mother, her unrelenting spirit that kept her going in her fight for her fellow peers freedom despite the abuse that she will receive, and her unfulfilled dreams repeatedly being mentioned throughout this quest was heartbreaking.

I do have to say- the animations they released for Arlecchino helped a lot with the emotions we are supposed to feel for this quest. Not only was that good Advertising and promotion for the Arlecchino banner, it also set up the plot that would have not been well presented ingame had they chose to do that instead.

Crucabena and Clervie part of this quest were not the only ones mentioned in this quest, but also that damn dude that she killed with her heels! I personally like the way they released all those animations because the quest feels more emotional and alive now, and we could follow with the story better than before (and it effectively increased the hype)

Speaking of more alive, the facial expressions have definitely improved! This quest had them utilizing various expressions well, specifically for the playable characters, so, again, this really helped with the feel of the quest.

Additionally, adding a picture to scenes also set the tone really well. It's not that pictures have never been included in quests before, but the way these were framed(?) made it look way better than the ones before.

By the way...is it just me? Or did Paimon's voice somewhat mellow out for this quest? I had recently played some other story and world quests, and Paimon's EN voice is admittedly high-pitched and painful to hear in those, but for this quest, it's as if her voice was toned down (like Mondstadt Paimon, but with current Paimon energy). I'm hoping this was them taking the criticism from past and adjusting their instructions to Paimon's VA accordingly, because I loved Paimon's voice in this quest (that or I'm delulu)

Quick lore tidbits before I go back to gushing about this quest:

1. Arlecchino confirmed not from Fontaine (like I legit thought she may be Khaenri'ahn due to the blood moon thing she has going for her, but it's nice to confirm her non-Fontainian status)

2. Crucabena was the one who had a deal with Dottore on sending members of the HotH to him for experimentation. Anyone who was physically impaired or left alive after a duel to death are automatically sent to him. Clervie has described this as a fate worse than death... Peruere rejected Dottore's partnership offer once she became the next knave. Also, Crucabena used Clervie as an "example" for those who wish to escape, meaning Clervie received the most abuse (which apparently worsened as the years went by). Clervie lost hope sometime along the way and was basically suicidal as well by the time she and Arlecchino had their duel... Her mindset by that time is that the only hope for freedom to her is death. The popular theory of Clervie letting Arlecchino kill her is proven in a horrifying way with this discovery... (yes, she wanted Arlecchino to be the king, but at the same time, she took this situation as a chance to hit 2 birds with 1 stone)

3. Project Stuzha is apparently something highly dangerous, and Pulcinella and Pantalone are trying to get Childe and Arlecchino involved (Childe was told to aide the project by Pulcinella, while Arlecchino says she doesnt want the HotH to be involved in it)

4. Here is me reannouncing that I am in fact taking the L on the Freminet and Crucabena situation. Basically, the timeline is that at age 16, Clervie dies, and we are left with a 1 year time period for a 6 year old Freminet to enter under Crucabena (I'm guessing this is either a retcon or a means to hide the Arlecchino plot by not having them directly say mother in Freminet's character story 4). After that said 1 year, Peruere kills Crucabena and has spent several months in Snezhnaya before reviving the House of the Hearth and adopting Lyney and Lynette (perhaps the children of Crucabena's HotH simply stuck together during that time)

Basically, yes, Arlecchino is in her mid-20s. Not my personal cup of tea, but hey, genshin ages are confusing most days (Ayato is older than her, and Ayaka may actually be older than her as well... ugh I need a moment please... I MAY BE THE SAME AGE AS HER. NO-)

5. Freminet used to also call Lyney "brother". What changed that, I'm not sure (and if I had a nickel...), but the thought of baby Freminet following around big bro Lyney and big sis Lynette makes my heart melt. Freminet actually cried after Lyney basically told him how important Fremi is to him, so whoever made Freminet think otherwise... 😡 they better square up because we ride at dawn

ok back to me gushing

THE BOSS FIGHT? IT WAS SO COOL! It was beautifully animated, and the fact that they added this at the end?

The fear on the traveler's eyes upon realization of what true power Arlecchino held was amazing imo. We canonically cannot defeat Arlecchino in her boss fight! She will be a weekly boss that we can defeat, but in actuality, we really cannot beat the number 4 of the Fatui Harbringers.

We now have actual proof that harbringers 1-4 are not within our capabilities to challenge, and to add to that horror, this is us fighting Arlecchino with Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet. This is also actual proof that we, the traveler, cannot defeat a ton of other characters as well! (were cooked if we never get a power boost and plot armor✌️)

Also let me sneak in this picture:

Cunty as fck. Powerpuff girls energy. They're the Heathers, and we, the traveler, are Veronica.

And finally, the last part of my commentary that cemented this quest as my top 1:

Everything Arlecchino has done for the House of the Hearth, it was all thanks to Clervie and her dreams.

Arlecchino has shaped the HotH into a more honest relationship between her as the father and them as her children. Everything Clervie hated about the old HotH is now nonexistent in this version.

The children could be set free.

Duels are not to death.

They will not be sent to their doom if they lose.

This is everything that Clervie dreamed of, and this is everything Clervie tragically never got to see and experience because she lost all hope.

Clervie's story ended in tragedy, but Peruere lived and breathed Clervie's dreams for her anyway. Seeing the aurora was the start of Peruere finding the goal of living Clervie's dream, and now, Arlecchino strives to do her best to see those dreams come to fruition.

And the qualities that Peruere admired in Clervie are the same qualities that made her want Lyney to become the next king. Hopeful, caring, protective, passionate, and full of conviction. Lyney will take the mantle and live and breathe for Clervie's and Peruere's dreams someday.

Honestly, I have more to say, but I think this is a good place to stop for now. The dynamics of all these characters have made this experience worthwhile, and I hope that genshin continues with this sort of style in the future. Here's to more amazing stories from genshin!

Bonus screenshot while we are still here:

[ghostytoad]

Omg I loved the raph req you just did!! Could I req basically the same thing but with a reader that’s similar to Leo instead? Thanks a ton<3

jfksdjhgklsh i've had to break this into multiple parts bc they turned out a little long, but hopefully they're just as good TwT

* Fun n' Games *

ROTTMNT Boys x GN! Leo-esque reader who enjoys drama, making jokes, and being overall awesome

Summary: The Hamato brothers unexpectedly fall for the smug, but genuine, fun-loving reader despite their egocentric habits

Headcanons for: Raphael

GN! Reader; Romantic; Fluff || Words: 1.3k

Donnie | Leo | Mikey | Bonus!!

Raph:

oh god, he's gotten his fill of worry-fueled headaches dealing with his little brother's shenanigans; why, WHY great pizza supreme in the sky did there have to be another one??

y/n's reckless antics has him worrying himself into an early grave, especially when they're so keen on proving themselves to everyone with dangerous stunts and high-action battles

it's not that he doesn't enjoy the odd adventure or two with them, but y/n's a HUMAN and he's a WAR MACHINE. he has to be extra cautious around them!

he's taken it upon himself to keep an eye on y/n at (almost) all times bc of their more impulsive actions; he is the oldest and biggest hamato after all, so who better to protect y/n?

if they're out and about with leo or mikey, he will DEFINITELY be there to intervene bc he knows those two are just askin' for trouble; he's their only braincell and they're NOT leaving him behind

it's through his constant surveillance (with some help from donnie), that he slowly starts to realize his feelings for them runs deeper than just wanting to keep them safe

god forbid y/n tries to hide their latest blunder or misadventure, raph will have an absolute FIT (nothing physical obviously, he'll probably get all pouty and insecure)

"look, i know i might not look it but inside, raph is just as scared as anyone else that the people i love could get hurt. i'm not mad, i'm just… tryna look out for you, y'know?"

mikey likes to tease raph for "babying y/n", which says a lot when it comes from the literal baby of the family; kinda forces raph to rethink his overbearing behavior

once he realizes just how overbearing and borderline scary he's being, he will do his best to back off and cut back on all the 'stalking' and 'babying'

will genuinely laugh at y/n's jokes, no matter how bad they are; even if leo literally made the same exact joke 10 minutes ago, raph can't help but double over wheezing with laughter when they say it

he finds y/n's delivery a lot better than leo's; genuinely thinks they are the funniest person alive

he will sometimes join in on y/n's teasing whenever it's directed at his brothers or at an enemy while they're fighting; if he manages to make y/n laugh at one of his jokes, he'll be over the moon with joy

has the habit of accidentally referring to y/n as 'leo' when he's scolding them or going into a long rant about staying safe or something; it's not that he sees y/n as a "human leo", he's just used to getting onto the red slider turtle for the same exact shenanigans so it's like an auto-response

immediately catches himself the moment he does misname them and profusely apologizes through his flustering tears; forgets what he was even mad about every time it happens

for a while, raph considered getting y/n a guard dog or something to watch over them but would they even want a dog? what if they're allergic or they have a terrible fear of dogs or something!

on top of that, despite claiming to be "good with animals", he basically scares off any small animal that comes within 10 ft of his towering stature

but aha, an idea! what if instead of a pet, he gave y/n something special of his? something he can trust to take care of them

as long as y/n PROMISES to keep it safe and clean, raph will gift them one of his special teddy bears to watch over them when he's not around

won't admit it, but he finds y/n's big ego and constant bragging to be incredibly endearing and will add to it whenever he can

like yeah, what isn't to like? they're cool, funny, they know where all the action's at, they have the prettiest eyes; it's no wonder y/n is as confident as they are - to be honest, raph's not sure why EVERYONE doesn't feel the same way about y/n

likes to use his special raph-exclusive catchphrase 'like a boss' to describe everything y/n does (a high honor in his culture)

"did you guys catch how y/n totally shut those clowns down like a boss?? i betcha they could take you three down no sweat!"

gaming buddies!! it's one of his favorite pasttimes and what better way to channel y/n's competitive energy than with some good ol' beat 'em ups

1v1 video game marathons are GUARANTEED to last days for the two of them; they've both managed to lose major sleep bc of how invested they get into the competition

but sleep deprivation has a habit of making fools of us all, even headstrong turtle mutants. and y/n just happens to be the subject of raph's sleepy rambles

"I swear, I can't feel my eyes…" Y/N's croaky, tired voice muttered as they fought sleep against the now-deflated beanbag, the dim glow of the television screen highlighting the dark circles of exhaustion, "How long have we been playing?"

Slumped over next to Y/N was the large turtle, struggling to muster a coherent sentence as total nonsense tumbled from his lips. As he lay facedown across his own plush beanbag, controller lazily dangling from his large hand, he continued to mutter unintelligably.

"Alright, big guy, let's get you to bed." Y/N groaned as they sat up to stretch. They couldn't help but smile as they watched Raph's sleepy form slump further forward in protest, his knuckles brushing against the floor from how far he'd shifted. He was stubborn to be sure, and all of this just to win a single round. It's not like Y/N didn't warn him ahead of time just how epic their combat gaming skills were! He really should've heeded their warning, it would've saved him hours of humiliating losses and subsequent insomnia.

"L'go one more roun'…" Raph finally managed to grumble, his voice tapering off as the drowsiness overcame him once again. He refused to let the night end until he'd bested his opponent at least once.

"Nuh uh, we're getting you to bed and that's final." the amusement in Y/N's tone stirred the mutant back awake.

"Fine, but I'll getcha next time." Raph finally relented with a sluggish grin and heavy-lidded eyes. With a grunt, he pushed himself up off the sack and was sent stumbling into Y/N's awaiting arms. They struggled to keep a grip on his large form, nearly losing their balance once his full weight shifted onto them. In an impressive show of determination, Y/N had managed to carry Raph into his room, opting to (not so gracefully) toss the massive turtle back onto his bed. Raphael didn't anticipate such a toss and with a hand still tightly gripped onto Y/N's waist, he managed to yank the human down with a light thud against his chest. If it had been anyone else, Raph would've been embarrassed enough, but this particular situation was one he'd keep himself awake at night thinking about. And yet here Y/N was, eyes wide with surprise and body held snug against his, completely unaware of Raph's affection for them. Would they leave? Would they scold him for being too clumsy? Did they think he was a creep?

"Uh… s-sorry. Did I hurt ya?" he managed to stutter, his expression flustered and suddenly alert. Despite the internal conflict, his hand held firm on their waist as if it was urging them to stay.

"No, no, I'm fine. We can chalk this up to you being a sore loser though~" Y/N teased with a light smirk, the dark blush that dusted across their face very evident, only rivaled by the even darker shade that burned at Raph's.

A soft silence fell over the both of them as they timidly avoided each other's gazes, neither willing to yield.

"Um… Good night, Raph-a-doodle. Love ya…" Y/N hummed, nuzzling deeper into his chest while they tried to settle into their new sleeping position. Raph couldn't stop the sigh of relief that escaped him, but the way Y/N looked so peaceful and snug on top of him brought him back into the quiet lull of slumber. They were actually going to stay. Did that mean that they…?

He'd leave that question for another night.

[rarepears]

Nie Huaisang, Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao, and Nie Mingjue all reincarnate together into PIDW, and become disciples around the same time as Luo Binghe.

The drama of this is of course enhanced by the facts that NMJ & JGY died "early," but NHS & LXC lived to the end of their natural lives as cultivators, and so some of their perspectives and opinions on events have naturally changed with age. (tfw the passage of time renders you unfamiliar to your once-loved ones)

Eventually they talk about their feelings and reconcile and such, and this ends up derailing the plot of PIDW severely as the rest of the PIDW characters confusedly observe quite possibly the weirdest disciples Cang Qiong's ever seen

NMJ on Bai Zhan, with no clue what's going on because he died first and NHS & LXC haven't told him anything

NHS on An Ding, thoroughly enjoying what's pretty much a vacation to him at this point and possibly running an interpeak illicit goods market (definitely not to distract himself from any of the emotions having NMJ & JGY alive and nearby would be causing him, Everything Is Fine) I haven't decided if he'd get involved with the whole og!SQH and MBJ situation tho

LXC on Qiong Ding, because I feel like he'd see himself in Yue Qingyuan and lowkey hate him for it and I think that could be interesting

JGY on Qing Jing, because he's the objectively the funniest/most interesting character to throw into the mess that is SJ and LBH. The way I imagine it, he's doing the most direct derailing of the plot, because he mostly accidentally gets right in the middle of the thing that is going on between those two

I feel like as I wrote this it became more serious than I originally intended so just know that I'm mentally picturing this like a fic that's interspersed with outsider POV of the 4 of them being completely deranged about eachother

(Also I'd feel bad taking away LXC's brother so LWJ and WWX + friends are busy doing hot girl shit being rogue cultivators. I think WWX should be a half demon so he gets to keep the cultivation and steal some of LBH's protagonist energy. If this was a fic then the rest of the Untamed gang would be perfect to use for side characters during off-peak missions)

*grabs popcorn and sits down to hear more*

Nie Huaisang is having too much fun waiting the two idiots called his shizun and shizun's poorly kept secret of a boyfriend go flailing around on these terribly unromantic dates BUT THE TWO WERE TRYING SO HARD that it was cute. He wonders if he should do something to help the poor idiots out... Should he?

Maybe he should...

(Watch Shang Qinghua and Mobei Jun suddenly have a number of sex pollen accidents over the next few months....)

Lan Xichen would be an old man and a good voice of reason for Yue Qingyuan. Although he's head disciple and a very good one at that (if only because his Big Brother instincts can't be held back and he MUST interfere to help prevent history repeating once more), Lan Xichen has made it very clear that he would never accept becoming sect leader.

Also don't forget Liu Mingyan in the background writing about a 4 person sex orgy. At least, that's her personal theory for why there's so much UNRESOLVED TENSION between these four sus male disciples. And also, because it's fun.

It's even funner when you consider that Nie Mingjue is out of the loop of Cang Qiong stuff even on Bai Zhan because he tags along on so many of Liu Qingge's missions that he's probably spending like 8 months of the year outside of the sect.

(Nie Huaisang gets "assigned" to missions that happen to take place near Nie Mingjue's hunts.)

Meng Yao is Meng Yao and he still craves the approval of Male Authority Figures That Could be his dad. Also Meng Yao still likes to climb up the social hierarchy and power. AKA Luo Binghe growing mushrooms in the corner at seeing ANOTHER QING JING disciple THE SAME AGE AS HIM being given SO MUCH ATTENTION AND APPROVAL by shizun.

Luo Binghe develops a complex over Meng Yao of course.

(Shen Jiu approves of Meng Yao because he understands these characters very well and know how to manipulate (cough kill or injury them physically or mentally) them easily. Plus Meng Yao is actually competent.)

[More in #Nie Huaisang Lan Xichen Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue reincarnate into PIDW and are Cang Qiong disciples at the same time as Luo Binghe is AU

[collapsedglasshouses]

An Angel for Noah || Noah Sebastian x OC [Part 3]

DIVIDER ART WORK BY @cafekitsune

PART ONE; PART TWO

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x Jules [she/her]

SUMMARY: Following Noah through his daily life, let Jules no other option but to help.

WARNINGS: swearing, mentions/hints of sexual interactions/acts, mentions of death

A/N: HELLOOO! Finally the third part of the series, it took me a bit because my life is stressing me out right now. University is starting again soon and I'm changing jobs… but enough of my private problems, this chapter excited me, because it takes a closer look on the dynamic between Noah and Jules. I really like it. I hope you enjoy it too and if so I would appreciate it if you reblog this part! Thank you so much for the great resonance on this work and now enjoy!

TAGLIST: @trvshdxddy @blackveilomens @crimson-calligraphyx @measuredingold @cncohshit

If you wanna be added to the taglist of this story, please DM me or let me know in the comments!

Keep in mind, this takes place in an alternative universe. Even though I write about real people, the way I write them has nothing to do with how they are in real life.

Four weeks. Four weeks since she first met Noah. Four weeks since Jules had died.

The past four weeks had been filled with her watching Noah live and breathe. She saw him produce music, she saw him eat, and she saw him talking to his friends about the tour that would start in a couple of days. Hell, she even saw him getting horny and doing not-so-PG things, even though she respectfully left him alone during that.

She had learned that Noah was a chronically stressed person. Just like she was. He was literally trapped in his own head. A picture-perfect perfectionist.

She had watched him record a segment over and over again, because he somehow wasn't happy with his results, even though he had a godlike voice.

Watching him struggle like that made her mad. Not because he annoyed her, but because he reminded her so much of herself that she started to hate herself a bit for how hard she was on herself when she was still alive.

She noticed, he had this crippling anxiety about letting down the people he loved. Just like she had. It was cruel to watch him suffer so much.

The more she got to know about him, the more she felt like looking into a mirror. Something she didn't like. Nobody liked to be reminded of how broken they really were. Jules was no exception. The more she watched Noah, the more she was forced to reflect on herself.

She had this cruel need of wanting to tell him how good he did and how loved he was, but she couldn't. He had no idea she even existed. That fact was something that made her even more bitter.

Her living self was slowly fading away.

She had noticed that she didn't need to breathe. She could just sit there and watch. But the silence that came with it was even more painful, so she decided to just go on using her useless lungs. She also noticed that she couldn't look at herself anymore. She had no idea how she looked. Likewise, she would never have the opportunity again to see herself.

Was it possible to suffer from post-death-depression? Because if something like that existed, she definitely had it.

She also 'met' the others.

There was Jolly, the guitarist. She had often found him playing some melodies, when he had free time. He was rather quiet but always knew the right words, when needed. She lovingly decided to call him Dad Omens.

Than there was one Nick, they called him Ruffilo. He was the bassist of the band. Sometimes when Noah got on her nerves, she searched for him in the house. He calmed her down without even knowing, radiating unbelievable calmness and composure.

The other Nick, Folio, on the other hand, was a total goofball. He was the drummer of the band and closest in age to Jules, even though that didn't matter anymore since she was going to be 22 forever. He definitely was the funniest out of the group and made her forget about her misery for a couple of seconds a day.

Than there were their other friends: Matt, the tour manager, Davis, amazing artist with an adorable dog (Max) that might have already barked at Jules about five times, Steven, who was responsible for their merch and Bryan, their photographer. Each of them had absolutely unique talents, that amazed Jules individually.

Right now she found herself in the living room. The boys were eating dinner and discussed some important tour things. The room was heated with tension. All of them hadn't got enough sleep the last couple of days. That lead to them arguing over almost every bit they said.

Every word they said to each other felt like a bullet, there to hit someone personally. For Jules, it was like a car crash, she wanted to look away but seemingly couldn't. With that thought, she slightly chuckled to herself. She just knew people were staring at her accident.

God, she really began to hate people...

She slightly dissociated when the discussion became even more heated. The last couple of days made her reflect on herself more than she ever had. Every little thing she did just seemed so useless at the moment. When she heard the boys argue like that, she could just think about how irrelevant it all was. What if one of them died tonight? Each of them would regret every bad word they said to each other.

Jules snapped back to reality when Noah jumped out of his seat. "You know what? Fuck this. I'm going." He exclaimed directly at Ruffilo's face, causing Jules to raise her eyebrows. What the hell had happened?

She quickly got up from her spot on the couch and followed him upstairs, where he just grabbed a jacket and his car keys before making his way out of the house, not even once flinching when Ruffilo called after him.

That was definitely something what made her different from him. He was stubborn as hell, while she nearly almost gave in every time.

She ran after him and somehow managed to land on the passenger seat of his car while he cursed out Nick under his breath. Jules was almost sure where Noah was going. There had been this girl - Jules didn't catch her name - who was occasionally visited by him. They weren't in a relationship, but Noah seemed to let off some steam when he met up with her. It bugged Jules when she was honest with herself, but she didn't really know why.

On one hand, she really thought the girl's vibe was off, but on the other hand, she blamed it on her awkwardness when it came to intimacy. It wasn't like she never kissed anybody, she actually managed to have her first time, too, but never really had the urge to seek a sexual relationship with anyone. When she was honest with herself, she only had sex with that guy because she wanted to know how it felt. She quickly realized that she wasn't sexually attracted to someone when she didn't feel an emotional connection. And since she hadn't had the opportunity to fall in love in her short span of life, she never felt the need to have sex again after her (more than bad) first time.

In the first five minutes of the drive, he still muttered to himself how annoyed he was with everyone, but then the atmosphere slowly changed. Suddenly Jules experienced the most gruesome goose bumps she ever felt, and her gaze shot to Noah, who, to her horror, had closed his eyes.

FUCK. WHAT DO I DO?

Jules' heart started to race. She didn't know what to do. She ran a hand through her hair, while she saw how the car slowly got closer to the side of the road.

"Fuck" She exclaimed, frantically looking around the car to see her options. At first she tried to grab the steering wheel and even though she could get a grasp of it, she couldn’t force it to turn.

She let out a panicked scream before looking at the sleeping Noah. She snapped her fingers in front of his face and screamed. "WAKE THE FUCK UP, YOU DICKHEAD."

When he didn’t move, Jules groaned in frustration, and before she knew it, she lashed out and slapped Noah on the cheek, who almost let out a scream before stepping on the brakes, almost smashing Jules against the windshield.

Noah held his cheek while looking around him in horrors and Jules knew she had fucked up bad. Was she even allowed to do this? Was there something like angel jail? Would she be fired? Was that even possible?

To her surprise, her slap must have redirected something in his brain, because he turned the car and drove back. He even put on loud music to make sure, he wouldn't doze off again.

Jules couldn't even look away anymore. Her gaze was fixated on his face. She wouldn't dare let that happen again. She kind of felt like it stirred up her death trauma. If there was one thing she was sure of, it was that she would make sure he wouldn't get killed by a car. That was her package to carry.

Noah didn't seem to have caught his breath again when he parked his car in front of the house again. Jules still felt guilty while she followed him back into the house, but she was more than pleasantly surprised when she saw him go up to Ruffilo's room and knock against the door.

"Yeah?" - "Can I come in?" - "Sure."

With that both of them stepped into Nick's room. Jules felt herself get kind of excited when she entered Nick's room, since it was the first time for her. She quickly made her way to the corner of the room like she was trying to be even more invisible.

"I'm sorry for screaming at you. I shouldn't have done that." Noah told his best friend, who was leaning against the headboard of his bed. He eyed Noah for a couple of seconds before nodding. "It's okay. We are all exhausted as hell, and the tour hasn't even begun."

Noah nodded and sighed at the same time.

Suddenly, Nick narrowed his eyes a bit and stared at Noah's face, causing Jules to become equally aware of something she hadn't noticed before. Noah's cheek was colored in a slight red tone.

"Were you at her place again?" Nick wanted to know causing Noah to eye him confused. "What do you mean?"

Nick waved his hands to indicate to Noah what he meant. Jules could see how Noah's cheeks turned a slight pink, and she would have lied if she said hers didn’t change colors, either. Becoming Noah's guardian angel also gave her information about Noah’s likes and dislikes when it came to a certain topic. Whether she wanted that or not.

"No… No… I wasn’t at her place… I wanted to go, but…" Noah answered but stopped for a second to think. When he was being honest with himself, he didn’t even know what to think.

"What?" - "I… I just…" Noah ran a hand threw his hair. "I almost slept in while driving."

"Are you okay?" Nick asked him with widened eyes.

"Yes… don’t worry… It was just kind of weird." Noah explained to his best friend. "It almost felt like someone slapped me in the face."

"Maybe it was your adrenaline and you hit your cheek or something." Nick tried to explain, while Jules looked apologetic, even though nobody could see her. It felt like neither Nick nor Noah believed his words.

Noah just shrugged his shoulders, before he took a deep breath. "Maybe I should get some sleep."

Nick nodded at him and with that Noah left Nick's room after wishing him a good night. Jules quickly followed after him.

She was still tense from what she had done earlier. She didn’t know what consequences her slap would have and what her intervention would do to Noah. She just knew it terrified her to her core.

So when Noah laid down on her bed, she set on the edge for a while. Noah on the other hand stared at the ceiling and was deep in his thoughts. Jules hoped he would just blame it all on his adrenaline rush. She wished she could just take his thoughts away from him.

She sighed before looking at Noah. He had closed his eyes but Jules felt that his mind was definitely still racing. When she looked at him like that she saw his beauty in all display again.

She couldn’t deny how beautiful he actually was. With his dark hair and even darker eyes. His small freckles on his face. His long lashes. These tattoos. Just everything about him spoke to her, even though she was pretty sure she would have never approached a man looking like him while she was still alive. Not that she was intimidated, but her parents would have died on the spot seeing her.

Her, a soft girl, always being dressed in light colours, playing the violin and having little to zero experience when it came to social interactions closer than hand shaking.

And on the other hand, him, almost always being dressed dark, except a couple of shirts she saw, being the vocalist of a metal core band and being the exact opposite when it came to romantic or at least sexual experience.

To her surprise it didn’t take long before she heard him breathe deeper and she knew he must have dozed off. Her gaze fixated on his face again.

She exhaled in frustration before turning to Noah. "Never do that again, Noah."

Without even thinking she reached out and stroked his cheek in a swift motion. When she saw him frown lightly, she quickly withdrew her hand and panicked she might have woken him. He just sighed and turned to his side.

Jules took a deep breath before standing up and leaving his room. She needed to establish some rules for herself, beginning with the most important…

Never touch him again…

READ PART FOUR HERE.

[charlottesbookclub]

which plants each of the greens would get from the plant shop where i work 🪴🌱🌿🍃

y'all i am so sorry for my sporadic activity on this blog and also for the chaotic jumble of fandoms i keep posting about with no warning 😭

so i was kinda into hotd last season, and with the new trailers coming out i was thinking about it again and this idea came to me like a revelation from on high so i decided to curse you all with these headcanons as well

for context, i work at a houseplant shop and was watering my own plants today when i was seized by the vision of which plant(s) each of the greens would get from the shop

i guess this is kind of modern au but not really?? like i guess i sort of envisioned it as the characters walking out of the world/canon of the show and into the plant store and so that's the characterization i went with idk

anyway sorry this is so chaotic – here are the headcanons:

alicent – def something pretty basic but classic like a pothos or a philodendron. a marble queen pothos would be especially appropriate, so honestly that's what i would probably recommend if she asked. is able to keep it alive just fine but i'm just not sure i would recommend anything too much more demanding – i just feel like losing a plant would be too demoralizing for her. also i feel like she would be one of those people who would come in and be like "i need a plant that filters air bc i need clean air in my living space" and i'd have to put on my best customer service voice/smile and be like "well actually ma'am that's all of them – that's kind of like one of their main things" lmaoooo

criston – i truly do not believe that this man could keep a plant alive; i'm just not convinced of it. i think he'd get a funky spiky little succulent or cactus and it would be dead within a week and he'd come back in and i'd recommend a snake plant (very hard to kill) and then he'd kill that too 💀 but also i think he'd be sooooooooo in denial about it and always come up with a bunch of other things that must've happened to it

aegon – also cannot keep a plant alive but is painfully self-aware about this fact. would def be one of those people who comes in, walks right up to the counter and instantly says "i need a plant i can't kill." so i'd point him to the snakes and zz's and he'd get either a nice black coral or golden hahnii snake plant. the funniest thing about this is that i'm convinced that aegon's snake plant would actually survive and criston would be sooooo pissed about it. like he wouldn't water it for weeks, and then when he finally remembered to, he accidentally (drunkenly) watered it with wine and it still lived and criston was fucking livid about it

aemond – would for sure have more success keeping plants alive than aegon or criston. i feel like he'd try to start with something cool but tricky, like a complicated carnivorous plant, and after excruciating months of going back and forth with it, it kinda just gives up because he tries to do everything precisely by the book rather than reading the signs of the actual living plant in front of him. he admits defeat only personally – he tells everyone else that he gave to plant to helaena. he comes back for something a little easier and goes for a nice dracaena marginata (yes, he did buy it mostly because the name sounds like "dragon" and also because it was spiky and cool). he's definitely able to keep that one alive and it lives in the corner of his chambers and he's secretly very proud of his success with it. also he does not even let criston or aegon so much as look at it lmao

helaena – my girl could buy anything in the whole store and keep it alive 😌😌 she for sure likes the "weirder" plants and has a whole bog garden situation of carnivorous plants aemond is insanely jealous of this but never admits it out loud. she's very drawn to strange-looking cacti and succulents, and also fun little novelty plants like goldfish plants, string of turtles/bananas/hearts/pearls, starfish snake plants, etc. also, whenever she comes in she always buys all of the scraggly discount plants because she feels bad for them and nurses them all back to health. she has not lost a single plant yet regardless of the state it was in when she got it, and she doesn't intend to start any time soon 😌

[birdmitosis]

if you’re still doing the ask game, i’d love to hear your thoughts abt voice of the smitten please 😊 (no pressure though)

[ask game here]

Oh gosh, no worries! I am super open to doing more of these :D

SMITTEN TIME 💖

First impression

My first impression of him was absolutely during the Damsel route, and I'll be real, I mostly defaulted to vaguely fond exasperation. I was a bit "oh no, he's funny for sure but Oh No" about him and he was one of my least favorite voices for the longest time!

Impression now

...Whereas at this point he may not be one of my favorites but I honestly love him. He is fascinating, having darker depths of emotion than one would think at first and being capable of some definitely bad things, but also having a great capacity for love that is unflinching, unashamed, and comes with no caveats. He is a supportive darling with unbending faith and this also somehow makes him not only one of the strongest voices but also one of the most potentially dangerous to the group. This is great.

Favorite moment

Ohhh, there are so many small moments I can't choose between! The "He just likes to hear himself talk." "I do." exchange, the part where he straight-up says he's no thoughts head empty except for the Princess, how quick he is to forgive Opportunist and just accept him back on sides, how he slays us if we slay Damsel and his homoerotic fight with Cold at the very beginning of the Burned Grey route, The Look...

I think my favorite moment, though, might just be when you find the Princess's skeleton in the basement in Burned Grey and he goes "No! She was alive and well just a moment ago, floating away transparently!" It is SUCH a funny moment and if I make another "funniest moments in Slay the Princess" video, that is definitely going in there. He is hilarious.

Idea for a story

TBH, before the Pristine Cut comes out, it could be fun to write a version of the Damsel Chapter III that I don't think we're getting, one that I'd been toying with in my head... Choosing to stay with Damsel and the Narrator trying to force our hand again (or threatening to) leading to Smitten slaying us to show Narry he's serious about that, and then when we get to Chapter III instead of a basement it's an upstairs room, and it's way more livable, comfortable, with chairs and things, and her chain is thin and long and allows her access to the whole room comfortably. There is no blade. The only option, if they don't want to stay forever, is to brave what might be out there together and face the world, whatever may be. Once you actually decide to break the chains they snap easily.

(I think Cheated would be a fun option for this one, but I'd probably write it with Paranoid. Torn between love and fear in the Damsel chapter, and part of why we're "staying together" instead of escaping is fear of what will happen and what we'll find if we leave...)

Unpopular opinion

IDK how unpopular either of these are per se, so I'm going to give two of them:

One, Smitten shines least in his own basic route. If you go for Damsel and either free Damsel or deconstruct her, it is definitely incredible to see just how powerful Smitten's power of belief really is, but he himself isn't all that interesting and isn't as hilarious or as fun as in other routes. He has incredible moments in the Razor path, he's intensely sympathetic in the Moment of Clarity, he is both funny and very interesting personality-wise in Thorn (especially if you do free her), and then if you slay Damsel and get into Burned Grey he's maybe at his strongest both humor- and interest-wise.

Two, despite what I said above about loving Smitten in the Thorn chapter, which I do... I don't actually like the way to get Smitten in the Thorn chapter. I think it's jarring and kind of off-putting to start strongly flirting with Witch in that particular situation, and I don't like the implications of the "why are you actually trying to free me" "you're beautiful" exchange.

Favorite relationship

Among the other voices, I think my favorite relationship he has with them canonically is the one he has with Opportunist in the Thorn chapter. (I told you I love Smitten in The Thorn! I just don't like how you get there with him!) His weirdass relationship with Cold is a very close second, though, and I would be very interested in seeing them with a different dynamic in one of the new Pristine Cut Chapter IIIs, potentially!

Among the other voices, the relationships we don't really get to see in game that I'd love to see are how he'd be with Broken or Skeptic, with Cheated, Contrarian, and Paranoid being runners-up.

Among the vessels, my favorite canonical relationship he has with any of them... Hear me out, because I did say he is least interesting in his own base chapter, but I still really do love his relationship with Damsel. One of the only two vessel/voice ships I actually ship somewhat strongly (along with Adversary/Stubborn). I'd also love to see his relationship with Prisoner, Spectre, or Wild!

My favorite relationship for him in a shippy way is with Broken, though, by far. (Mending Hearts my beloved...)

Favorite headcanon

I really do love the idea that Smitten's unhesitating, unapologetic love of the Princess also translates to a love of the world, and that in any post-Construct AU where Shifty wasn't slain, he loves the world and life intensely because she is a part of all of it, even if he misses her.

I also really love trans Smitten, though! I specifically go back and forth between seeing Smitten as transfem and Damsel as transmasc, or seeing both of them as bigender, sometimes he/him and sometimes she/her.

[cuffmeinblack]

If you're still doing the prompts, can I request #14 with Leander? If not, that's ok too! 🖤

Oblivious

Leander Prewett x gn!reader

Tags: fluff

550 words

"oh, shit. I'm in love with you??" prompt: 14. they laugh at your 'not-so-funny' jokes

A/n: Absolutely!! Obviously had to drag Garreth into it, too.

"May I remind you of Puffskein Dunkein?"

Garreth quirked an eyebrow, returning to his food with a chuckle. He'd listened to your riveting and hilarious story with the absolute best pun you'd ever concocted and he didn't think you were funny?

"Yes, the name is funny, but that was years ago. You got lucky once."

"Leander thinks I'm funny," you said defensively.

"Leander laughs at your jokes because...well, it's not because you're a comedic genius."

"What's that meant to mean?"

Garreth looked around the table uncomfortably, clearly regretting opening his mouth. No amount of pressing was getting any more information out of him, and you left the dinner table in a huff to seek out Leander.

"There you are!" you said, weaving your way through the common room towards the coiffed red hair.

"Here I am, right where I said I'd be," Leander replied with a soft smile that illicited a surprising tightening in your chest.

"I have something to tell you."

Leander sat forward, leaning his elbows on his long legs as you settled opposite him. His freckled face was painted with interest and slight trepidation; you were rarely so serious.

Breaking the spell, you launched into your story, relaying the details with enthusiasm as he blinked in surprise and an amused smile crossed his face. He laughed in the right places; that sort of melodic chuckle that made your face warm. Your grand finale, the pun which Garreth had termed the worst he'd ever heard was delivered and he laughed. A great belly laugh, definitely not deserved but nevertheless all for you.

Oh Gods, Garreth was right. Assuming you were not, in fact, the funniest person alive, Leander definitely laughed at your not-so-funny jokes for an entirely different reason. You'd been studying his face as you talked and not failed to notice the way his gaze flicked between your eyes and down to your mouth. You were also aware of the way his thumb and forefinger idly stroked gentle circles around each other as he concentrated; which was frankly very distracting.

The fact that he deigned to humour your poor attempts at comedy was...heartwarming. You got up, relocating yourself next to him on the armchair as he shuffled to give you space, watching you with wide eyes.

"Leander."

"Y-yes?"

"Do you laugh at my jokes because you think I'm funny or because of...some other reason?"

The question caught him off guard and he looked down at you with parted lips, stuttering and blushing. That had been all the confirmation you needed. Idiot boy. Idiotic, absolutely... ridiculous... bloody amazing and...

Leander stopped stuttering when you pressed your mouth against his, warmth and affection flooding your body. Those lips that had smiled for you throughout your stories were every bit as soft as they looked. The fingers that had distracted you so much during your retelling were now laced through your hair, only loosening as you finally broke apart. The funniest part of the whole encounter had not been your jokes, but your utter obliviousness.

"Do me a favour?" you asked breathlessly.

"Oh, anything!"

"Instead of laughing at my unfunny jokes, maybe just kiss me to shut me up instead?"

[dark-elf-writes]

My friend have you ever thought of a HP x inheritance Cycle ?

well I'm definitely thinking about it now.

Trying to decide when would be the funniest time for Harry to show up tbh because imagining Eragon and Murtagh trying to keep an entire child AND a half dead elf alive while they run for their lives for the Varden is very funny, but a post war Murtagh being so convinced that he is evil and nonredeemable and everyone hates him only to be all but handed a tiny child that thinks he is the coolest person alive is also very funny and opens up the idea of poor Roran having to deal with a half delirious Murtagh (ant Thorn tbh) the very first time Harry has any issue because he is the only person Murtagh knows with a child who might know what to do

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

F&B Chapter 2 thoughts:

Completely unserious opening. "King Aegon's 37 year reign was super peaceful if you ignore that it was founded on 2 genocides & setting everything on fire till all your other future subjects give up in fear. You also need to ignore the near 2 decades of war at its start. Those last actual 2 decades though? Practically a utopia!"

Once again: I feel bad for everyone forced to lose because One-gon & his much cooler sisters had dragons. You don't "take advantage of the chaos of Aegon's Conquest" to name yourselves independent if you actually want to be under his rule. They had a whole queen, a named queen, & then here came the literal whole navy & Visenya to threaten the Sistermen into submission. And then we see a queen regnant getting violently deposed by her own men & needlessly brutalized &/or humiliated for her trouble a second time. Marla Sunderland deserved better. Why the fuck did she get her tongue cut out 5 years after the fact, George? And the framing of Steffon Sunderland's sons being fostered with the Manderlys & the Arryns. "He handed them over for his good behavior," they were hostages & probably straight up yoinked. I hope Maester Gyldayn was compensated for his work, because this man was in the trenches trying to make the Targs look good.

The Ironborn have never known how to act, & I love them. Straight up murdering each other for a whole year bc their royal family for the last few centuries got turned into a brick oven pizza in one (1) night. Babes, just reinstate the kingsmoot. Also, I'm willing to believe that Lodos killed himself, but "thousands followed" is so fucking vague. The thousands who drowned with him were definitely killed for the crime of not wanting to live under One-gon/being potential dissidents who would rise up & start this shit over again.

Laughing eternally that everyone keeps clapping when One-gon shows up. "There were so few Ironmen left after a year of killing each other that they didn't resist. Also everyone cheered, they totally wanted to be under Valyrian rule!"

Stan Dorne, we love a Russian Winter Strategy. Also their ousting of Aegon's dudes after he was all "since they aren't here, I won & I'm taking their stuff" is the funniest fucking thing. "The Dornish Lords had a wager to see who could keep people alive longest while torturing them," be for real my dude, I know you pulled that out of your ass just to vilanize them & appease Aerys. This section is peak comedy, & full of icons. We love actually using our brains ❤️

YouExpectMeToFeelSorryForThatBitch.gif (you can decide who this is about, but if you name someone from Dorne you chose wrong)

Hey George, after all those back & forth war crimes bc Rhaenys fucked around & found out I'm gonna need to know tf was in that letter Prince Nymor wrote. You don't need to tell anyone else, just whisper it in my ear & I will take it to the grave. I just want to know what ended all of that, because good Lord. Everyone made the Conqueror Trio's refusal to get off Princess Meria's lawn every person on the respective opposing side's problem. I'm not going to fault Dorne for wanting them out, because context & also no one wanted the Targs around, but dadgum. Both sides were doing the absolute most (also I am not surprised that Aerys was more willing to have beastiality explained to his baby son than why the people of Dorne maybe hated them)

The "Dornish Courage" mockery thing are the words of bitter little haters who are just mad they didn't have the brain power to do what Meria did. Once again: what an icon. Stan Meria Martell.

[icharchivist]

more da4 stuff are coming out and i hadn't blocked the spoilers tag yet bc the warning was that there'll be more spoilers on the 19Th, but last article by IGN actually revealed two things i really wanted to see in game by myself and i'm so mad kdjfhdjkfhd

i blocked the tag now so at least i should be able to avoid more but boooo

but about those things bc i want to discuss them:

so far it was a theory that Lucanis was possessed by a demon but the latest video just confirmed it and i'm. so sad they did so.

but they also confirmed which type of demons which is a win for me bc i've been brainstorming it for a while.

Because the tarot card showed Pride Demon and it boggled my mind because Lucanis is NOT prideful. he's only arrogant to provoke his marks. And, on the other hand, he's not particularly wise. In fact he's the opposite of wise this man fucking tore open the Veil to get revenge and then went "idk it seemed like a plan, anyway yolo YOU told me to do that", this man behaves on instincts not on wisdom.

To me, if spirit was possessing Lucanis (which was strongly hinted at from his new powers, his skillsets, the fact he's believed dead and probably did actually die!), it should be a spirit of Justice/a demon of Vengeance, because Lucanis is DEADSET on vengeance even though it's not his job. He derails his job completely because he's motivated by vengeance for people who were wronged by Ambrose.

But then again we never truly saw what type of shape a Justice/Vengeance spirit would take, since we only met one possessing other people's body. It also felt wrong to me to have this again considering how close it would have been from the Anders/Justice plotline from daoa and da2 (with Justice first possessing a dead person and him being twisted to vengeance once he gets into Anders).

So my conclusion was Justice/Vengeance unless it's a new spirit we've never heard of that is adjacent to that.

WELL the latest video seems to reveal that Lucanis is possessed by a Demon of Spite.

Which. Well. Close enough????

But also it means Lucanis very likely died or almost died and was saved by a spirit of Spite (probably because Lucanis is waaaays too comfortable using spirits to start with but that's a post for another time i have so many thoughts about Lucanis, magic, and spirits) which is why he's alive. The screenshot i've seen implies that Lucanis is trying to keep Spite from being too active, trying not to trigger it, and i wonder if the stolen glances with Emmrich in particular is a set up to how Emmrich, used to gently handling spirits who bind themselves to corpses, would help him navigate this situation.

BUT the best part to me is that it means Lucanis SURVIVED OUT OF SPITE. THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING YOU CAN SAY ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER HELLO. HE LITERALLY SURVIVED OUT OF SPITE.

I already love him so much it keeps adding i'll never be safe.

The other spoiler i've seen is that we're definitely seeing Felassan again and i'm so excited for that, but i wish I'd been surprised about it in game. He's a book-only character, from The Masked Empire, and there's only one line that refers to him in Trespasser ("His friend had to die. Because he thought they were people. A slow arrow breaks in the sad wolf's jaws."), but we know Felassan was someone important to Solas and that the end of TME still haunts him, so it was logical that in the Lighthouse/Crossroads, that will be filled with Solas' memories, we'll see more about Felassan, but i was worried they may ignore him all together because he IS a book only character, no matter how beloved he is. I'm relieved they're actually showing him, but MAN i can just imagine how i'd have screamed if i saw he was there in game. wasted.

Anyway now i blacklisted everything and i reread The Wigmaker's Job and The Wake the other day, and i have thoughts, i've written half a post about it and then got too lazy to do the rest, so stay up for that one i guess.

But ghhhh. So good.

[lunarmoves]

Oh god I just read the summer camp au and Just sfjskfnsksl IS SO COOL!! rlly rlly interesting characters, Vincent is really funny by far lol, and love the interactions with the boys <3

Anyway, loved the 2 chapters :)

omg!!! that was my baby over the summer LOL thank u for reading it beloved!! i'm glad u like it!! all the interactions were very fun to write and i definitely think i'm the funniest person alive KDFJSDF. havent touched it since the summer ngl but man... ill open up my outline just for u nonnie <3

[asurrogateblog]

Sweet! :D Are there any other characters important to the story, aside from the band, you'd like to talk about?

ooh okay!

as usual I am wholly incapable of providing a short answer.

The most interesting side characters to talk about are from Cal's part of the story (basically the epilogue, see the last slide it does require that context)*

*sidenote: I do have side-characters for the "real story" obviously, but one of the points I want to make in the story is how the main cast is so myopically self-obsessed that they don't fully process the consequences of their actions outside of the circle of the three of them until it's way too late. so as a result everyone else is a little less developed (it's on the to-do list

ANYWAY. so as mentioned in the powerpoint, Cal in the present-day owns a little record/instrument shop. And speaking meta-textually, she REFUSES to get involved in an actual plot. I have a few ideas I'm playing around with for where to take her character but usually it's like "yah I'm not doing that." given this stand-off I've resorted to a more slice-of-life style of things. I guess she deserves that. arguably. a lot of philosophical questions there about whether you're responsible for the actions of the people you used to be.

so when I was thinking of her shop, I started thinking about the neighborhood around it. and I asked myself "who would be the funniest person/people to move in next door?"

Meet Arti and Ray! They're lesbian married, they're re-opening the old bar next door, and they just happen to be Clarion Call super fans. They even have matching tattoos and their bar is called Puzzlemaster after the Clarion album. In the CC universe they're definitely on tumblr making "rpf is fine" memes with photos of Roy and Nelson.

Facts about Arti:

Mellow (read: quietly chaotic), observant, creative

Trying to finish her degree in film studies on the side. Dreams of making really unsettling avant-garde horror movies.

Introduced to CC by her mom. She doesn't really talk to her family anymore (....it's complicated), but she kept the love of the music. Nelsongirl.

genuinely really enjoys bartending; mixology master

Facts about Ray:

Energetic, competitive, loud

Works part-time at a daycare to supplement their income; loves kids, should honestly be a gym teacher

Born in the Phillpines; moved to California (bay area) as a kid

Introduced to CC by their cousins. godsend for "teenager struggling to fit in who doesn't realize they're queer yet". Roy stan.

The premise for them is analogous to this: imagine, anon, that one day you're chatting with the old woman who lives next door and it strikes you that she looks a lot like John Lennon. Now consider exactly what would it take for you to go from "haha weird" to "oh my god, I think John Lennon is still alive and an old woman and also my neighbor". And beyond that, what would it take for you to actually accuse her of this.

As they get to know each other, this is the game of psychological chess going on between Cal and Arti & Ray (of course, they'd probably think that she's secretly Izzy Riles.... which she is, but that's only a third of the story).

So that's a little introduction to them! They're a lighter and sillier part of the story and I like them a lot

(I have to stop here. I have to make myself)