#I'm not normally this negative

[blueaizu]

Suspended Twitter

Today my Twitter page was permanently suspended, so this will affect a few things. Needless to say I am not happy. This is going to be a long post, so find out more after this jump if you want to know what's going on.

By the way: I'm not holding back. There will be swearing and unfiltered anger, so if you don't want to see it, don't hit the jump.

First some introductions, since this Tumblr page is still pretty new: my name is BlueAizu. I'm an anime artist who has been posting artwork on websites like Twitter for a long time (psst, check out #BlueAizu's Art if you want to see what I do). I'm also exploring game development and I have also done livestreams of myself drawing or making my game in the past. To this end, I am currently in the middle of rebranding myself so I can enter into the world of Vtubers. At this time I'm not quite ready to do a full reveal of my model, but if you've looked at my profile picture you already have an idea of what he will look like. I'm very pleased with the progress so far and I'm looking forward to finally sharing him when the time comes, but enough about that.

As you may know, Twitter was recently bought out by Elon Musk for an extremely large sum of money and he is, shall we say... not the greatest? He's always looking to try and make back his investment and changing the platform for the worse, saying it's for "free speech" and that he'll be "a savior of social media" like he's the second coming of Jesus Christ. One of the things he's done is allowing people to pay a subscription for verification, which used to be a symbol of authenticity for public figures to avoid impersonation. Not anymore!

On top of this he's started a separate subscription that's way higher than $8 USD per month for organizations and businesses, currently $1000 a month. The ultimate kicker is that it still costs $1000 just to apply and it's non-refundable if you're not accepted, which is scummy enough on its own but the page for signing up doesn't mention that anywhere, just in an easily overlooked "Terms of Service" page at the very bottom. A horrible, horrible practice all around.

So what does all of that have to do with me specifically? Well, I was replying to someone who ended up unwittingly paying the full sum of $1000 (they got the chargeback, thankfully, but not without involving lawyers). My response: "I hope Elon's personal Tesla self-drives off a cliff," which while disapproving of Elon, was meant to be tongue in cheek and I wouldn't want it to actually happen to someone. Apparently this single tweet was severe enough that it warranted an immediate and permanent suspension of my account. My Twitter account, which I've had for over 10 years, was in good standing for all of that time and I used mainly for retweeting art and geeking out about video games I liked, is suddenly unusable and I can no longer participate on Twitter at all. This is completely unreasonable because, while I'll accept responsibility that it wasn't the most tasteful thing to say, permanent suspension from the platform is completely disproportionate retribution. There are so many pages and people who post and continue to share far worse, more offensive content for the sole purpose of spreading unbridled, bigoted hatred and malice for eliciting reactions. The single tweet I made is apparently far worse than that.

Also in the same e-mail as an added bonus, it mentioned that Twitter Blue isn't automatically disabled for suspended accounts, just as one additional middle finger for anyone this situation happens to. Probably counting on people forgetting about it and still paying it anyway without realizing! I suspect that my tweet was used as a scapegoat to get me off the platform for being critical of the decisions Elon has been making for Twitter and generally just not liking him, at all.

So, I'm done with Twitter. I already sent an appeal and I'll be happy to delete the tweet in question if given the chance, but after this? After this complete shitshow? I have lost all of my respect for Twitter. I now realize that it is a shitty platform, with a biased owner that has a cold, self-centered, devil-may-care billionaire toddler's ego the size of fucking Jupiter that's as fragile as a single strand of uncooked spaghetti. He doesn't treat his employees well, he can't take criticism at all, and his actions paint him as being unfit for running one of the biggest social media platforms, which many people have relied on for years, in every way except being able to buy it out. I am very outraged this has happened, and I will not forget this.

And that's the end of my story of why I'm no longer on Twitter.

Good-bye, Twitter.

May you go up in flames, your employees freed from Elon's iron grip and then move on to more fulfilling careers elsewhere.

[miraculouslumination]

Y'all realize that you can (and probably should) treat trans women and transfems as people right. Like you can acknowledge that they face a lot of awful shit and are targeted with layers and layers of bigotry without like. Putting every trans woman and transfem on a marble and gold gilded pedestal.

Trans women and transfems shouldn't be respected because they're goddesses with girlbulge or hot dommy mommies or divine feminine. You should respect them because they're people, which means they aren't perfect and will do things you won't like or think is weird/gross, but you should still respect them. You should always treat them as people first and foremost, rather than a mythical figure in your political fantasies.

[brinnanza]

see the thing about the whole autistics take everything literally is that we don't actually take everything literally obviously many of us love wordplay no the thing that people MEAN when they say we take everything literally is that we believe what you tell us.

it is never the first impulse (for me at least) that something is a joke or a lie unless I already have evidence. take the grade school gullible is written on the ceiling. you look and the other person laughs at how gullible you are. except in my brain, and I suspect many other autistics as well, things are assumed true unless proven otherwise. and probably some of it for me is just like decades of extreme gaslighting until i became unable to trust my own experiences, memories, and sensations but also it's like... most of the time when people speak to you it is with some degree of authority, whether that is professional or an opinion they really have or their interpretation of something. so without any reason to suspect otherwise, I'm going to believe you.

and yes this is dangerous and yes this makes it very easy to be taken advantage of and yes it does sorta come around to becoming suspicious of everything all the time which is exhausting but maybe the klonopin will sort it out but my point is. in terms of autistics taking things literally. we are the ones being normal about human communication jokes are fun but man you gotta telegraph that or you just sound like a moron "haha it's a joke" no baby that's a lie you think is funny a joke requires a set up and an inversion of expectation you received a reaction that was reasonable for the given stimulus that's just cause and effect do you find the lightswitch equally compelling???

[egophiliac]

before episode 34: Kekera is the only fan of this godforsaken show who has a remotely healthy relationship with media.

after episode 34: frogman what have you done

[imerian]

My (very old) loscar brooch (?) that i just now made doodles for

More pictures under cut

[calypsolemon]

Everyone on this website talks about the choice to not have children to end the terrible cycle of familial abuse or whatever but I feel like nobody on here wants to talk about the more mundane and pressing reality of wanting children but being paralyzed by the understanding that bringing them into our current society inherently means traumatizing them in some small way simply because there are no good options.

Like. Dont want to put a child through public school because public school sucks, but homeschool is isolating and private school is not an option for ppl with no money. Dont want to raise a child with a forced gender but attempting to raise a child neutrally may socially isolate them or cause authorities to question your parenting methods. Don't want to raise a child in an isolated suburb where they have nowhere to travel independantly but affordable housing with ample room for families in city environments are basically nonexistent.

It can be hard not to feel judgemental of yourself for wanting to bring a child into the world at all under these conditions. Unlike with refusing to continue the "cursed bloodline" or whatever, there's just no personal pride one can take in deciding not to have kids because the world would force me to make choices that hurt them irregardless of my desires.

[thefruitonyourfly]

Just read a comment under a magireco Madoka's magical girl sequence that said "now Madoka is a badass" and I was like HUH

Like did some of you watched episode 12 blindfolded and with ear plugs? Because I don't think you guys truly grasp the scope of what Madoka did that episode: The Incubator has been on earth for a MILLENNIUM, meaning that has been thousand of girls before Madoka who have tried to outsmart his system and met a terrible fate for their attempts, but only Madoka has been able to beat him, do you guys understand that? The smartest and strongest girls have tried, but something always thwarted their plans—be it their potential not being that high or Kyuubey twisting their words so it would be in his favor instead—But Madoka had something they didn't and it was her circumstances (Homura and the timeloops), Madoka knew her wish would come at a great sacrifice, but just like Homura said in Rebellion "She rose to the occasion" because she knew it was something only she could do; No one would ever have the perfect circumstances to make that wish like Madoka. So, she did it.

When Madoka made her wish and Kyuubey hesitated for the first time in the series because he understood the implication of it, Madoka said to him: "Now, grant my wish, Incubator." When Kriemhild Gretchen was born and Kyuubey thought he had the advantage back again because this witch could literally swallow a planet and Madoka killed her with one shot. Madoka won, essentially. Like her system isn't perfect, Kyuubey isn't dead, and there's still suffering, but it was the best wish for the magical girl kind as a whole, and all improvements are only possible by what Madoka did here. She played within the Incubator's system and rewrote it. She is the most powerful character in the whole franchise and arguably one of the most powerful characters in anime. "But didn't Homucifer defeated Madokami?" Well, sort of. Homura's win is, ironically, also due to extreme circumstances, only Homura could've done that and only within this one scenario: and even when she won it's heavily implied that if Madoka even has a slightly moment of deja vu it's over for her, she can't win against Madoka on fair terms so even Homura herself can't achieve that feat again. That's just how powerful Madoka is.

Do you guys understand that?

And here's the thing: my problem with that statement isn't even that I don't think magireco Madoka isn't as cool as Madokami, I think she's badass too. Is just like, I thought we all thought Madoka was cool as herself?? Like even without being a magical girl or a fucking godess, Madoka was cool as shit. When Madoka risked her own life to save the lives of her friends and strangers at the warehouse? She had no powers, no backup, and had just watched Mami die to a witch and yet she still followed Hitomi. But people only want to see Madoka's character as what the witch showed her afterwards, her own survivors guilt and perceived weakness and cowardice over wanting to live and not be a magical girl despite what she promised Mami, and yet the scene prior to this conflicts with this idea. Madoka not only can risk her life for others and save them when the need arises, but she already has. Even without being a magical girl. It's just who she is. This, to me, is one Madoka Magica's core strenght as a show that Madoka spent the majority of it being the most "powerless" in almost every scenario and yet she still tried her best to overcome things, even when it didn't work It was never worthless, if anything it proved her own strenght of character and without it she would've never gotten as powerful how she is today.

If Madoka hadn't been kind to Homura on her first day of school, if she hadn't done the simple act of reaching out to someone she thought was kind shy, none of this would've have happened. Her kindness did this, not any other power.

My favorite thing about Madoka's character arc is that Madoka starts as a very naive opmitimisc girl and with a somewhat sheltered view of of the world, then she goes throught horrors few can understand and while she could (understably) become bitter with the world and grow to despise it, Madoka comes of it realizing...she was right. Madoka has felt the pain the world could give her in her own skin, has literally died, and she now thinks Hope is needed more than ever. And it saddens me a lot when people don't understand how strong and cool she is because of that, to be hurt and choose to be kinder and more understanding to yourself and the world in return, because the world can be better we just can't give up...

Basically what I'm saying with this that if you don't like Kaname Madoka, fuck you—

[theminecraftbee]

you know sometimes one of the things the fandom does that i like the least is joke about how certain ccs are "lorephobic" because it basically always ignores the lore they actually are really and visibly doing. like, sure, they may not be doing the lore YOU'RE looking at, but, one, lore doesn't just mean "big overarching server storyline" it can also mean solo stuff. it can also mean 'builds that have story built into them'. it can also mean 'fun little storyline between like two guys'. it can also mean character continuity. it can mean many things. two, "this guy doesn't do lore" is NOT the same thing as "this guy doesn't do the specific lore i personally like and want to see them doing" and i don't always think you guys know the difference. all of this, of course, is to say: hey guys did you know zedaph can canonically time travel,

[vellichorom]

hi i'm once again on that routine tsp grind & thinking about what isolation does to a motherfucker,

i don't think the narrator could really handle having a conversation with another person that he could not dominate or assume the entirety of it's direction,

you SEE how he talks to stanley; leading the entire conversation ( of course, considering he's the only one who talks between them ) & drawing- JUMPING, rather - to his own conclusions & beyond if stanley just so happens to breathe in a certain way that makes the narrator upset,

& this is how it's been for assumedly YEARS. if not a damn long time otherwise for the narrator & stanley both to be as co-dependent / co-dependent coded as they seem can you imagine how that must impair his already incredibly clearly fucked social skills

can you imagine putting him in the real world & him basically talking out an ENTIRE conversation that he's supposed to be having with another person & jumping through so many hoops, assuming them somebody nasty & entirely unintentionally driving them away because that's all going on in your head old man?

listen. 5 minutes into the demo, he ( jokingly(?) ) implies you a sexual predator. do you think he can have a normal discussion with a person who can talk back because i don't

[mxtxfanatic]

So @fireandgrimstone and I once had a discussion about how mxtx handles Xie Lian’s crossdressing in tgcf, the gist of which was whether or not it was falling into a gender essentialist trope ("you can always tell when a man is pretending to be a woman!") despite how much of the story tackles a kind of gender fluidity amongst other characters. I said I’d return to it once I reread it again to see how I felt reading those bits in context, so here I am!

The first instance of Xie Lian cross-dressing in the story is during the very first mission: the ghost bride. In order to find out who is kidnapping brides in the area, Xie Lian dresses like a bride to act as bait. When he first gets dressed, this is how he is described:

If you asked anyone to come and see, they would be able to tell with a glance that this was a young boy with a gentle and handsome looking face.

—Chapt. 6: The Ghost Holds a Wedding, The Crown Prince Climbs Onto the Marriage Sedan (Part 1)

You can "tell" that he is still a man, even as he wears the wedding outfit, we are told. However, later on, Little Ying comes and helps fix up Xie Lian so that he looks more like a bride. When next the others see his face, this is how he is described:

How could Xie Lian have known that a girl’s skill in make-up created legendary and mystifying results? Little Ying had only taught him how to fix his eyebrows by drawing them elegantly, how to powder his face with some white powder and how to dot his lips with deep, red rouge. However, if he didn’t speak, Xie Lian looked exactly like a gentle, soft and beautiful young lady.

—Chapt. 9: The Mountain’s Locked Ancient Temple, The Forest of Hanging Corpses (Part One)

A little bit of makeup and reshaping his outfit has transformed Xie Lian from someone you could tell was a man "from a glance" to someone who "looked exactly like a gentle, soft, and beautiful young lady." Even the crowd of men acting as "guards" could not tell Xie Lian was a man, and at no stage in this entire arc is Xie Lian uncomfortable with the act of cross-dressing, at being honestly mistake for being a woman, or Mu Qing and Feng Xin's negative reactions. He is indifferent to it all.

The next major moment we see him cross-dressing is when he is running away from the group of cultivators hunting Hua Cheng:

Behind the curtains sat a woman, her long raven hair hung a loose bun, her neck slender and white with a black choker and a thin silver chain circled around. Her robe was half stripped, revealing her snow white shoulder and a small bit of her back, looking to drape and fall, making one’s face burn and heart race.

When the curtains were pulled, the figure of that woman trembled, covering her face with her sleeves, and whimpered softly, as if she was shocked and terrified by such a sudden and brutish act. Heaven’s Eye instantly dropped the curtains, “I-I-I-I-I-I’M SORRY!!!”

The band of monks and cultivators who followed after Heaven’s Eye all screamed too, “WHAT A SIN, WHAT A SIN!” And they all covered their own eyes. Using this chance, that ‘woman’ whipped around -- who else could it be but Xie Lian? Hua Cheng was sitting in his arms and was only blocked from view by Xie Lian’s body. Although Xie Lian was a man and his shoulders were wider than the average woman, but he only pulled down half of his robe to expose the best angle, creating the perfect effect.

—Chapt. 137: Upon Barren Hills; Rioting the Black Hearted Inn (Part One)

Just as with the makeup and reshaping of the bride outfit, wearing a woman's robe, stripping to show off some skin at an angle, and whimpering a little was enough to trick this group of men into thinking he was a woman. The cultivators are so embarrassed, they run away, but even the passerbies who catch a glimpse of Xie Lian fleeing later in that same outfit have the vague idea that it is a "woman" they're seeing running with a child. Then, in the same outfit, Xie Lian enters an inn and we get this hilarious interaction:

A moment later, the door opened, and several attendants came forward to greet, their faces full of smiles, “Good si...”

They had wanted to say ;good sir’, but seeing the person before them was wearing women’s robes, they changed, “Mis...”

Before the word left their lips, Xie Lian emerged fully from the darkness with Hua Cheng in hand. If there’s a child, then it wasn’t an unmarried lady, so they changed again, “Mada...”

‘Madam’ was still half on their lips and Xie Lian’s face was fully illuminated by the light within the inn. Although this person was dressed in women’s robes and had a gentle countenance, if they must be honest, no matter how they looked it was the face of a man. The attendants all became mute, and it was a good moment before they went back to their original greeting, “Good sir, please come inside.”

—Chapt. 137: Upon Barren Hills; Rioting the Black Hearted Inn (Part One)

None of the attendants are able to tell Xie Lian's gender just from a glance. They rely on context clues (his clothes, the fact that he's with a child, then finally, his bare face) to finally decide that he is a man. Xie Lian is not discomforted by this either, not even to correct them. In fact, the narrative says that he feels no mental or physical discomfort as he is. Mind you, in this world, it is established that gods can and do change their physical forms to match a certain gender, but despite having the power to do so, not only does Xie Lian not take this route but he is still able to successfully appear as a cis woman to both strangers and his closest friends with only the minimalist of effort. Neither he nor the narrative place any expectations on how he "should" feel being man mistaken for a woman, nor do they waste time trying to explain to other characters why he is dressed as one like what one would usually see with this trope. Xie Lian simply exists in the form most comfortable to him and changes minor appearances to produce the aesthetic that he needs when he needs it. No more explanation is needed.

The thing about Xie Lian, too, is that while he is assured in his own gender, this does not translate into him being adverse to either weaponizing gender to reach a certain goal (such as being bait in a mission or hiding from enemies or just finding a dangerous object) or others doing as they please. Shi Qingxuan repeatedly attempts to wheedle Xie Lian into transforming into a female form with him, but though Xie Lian refuses for himself, he never shows disgust that Shi Qingxuan prefers his female form, unlike other gods.

Due to all of this, I don't see the repeated mentions of Xie Lian's maleness within these cross-dressing scenes as meant to reinscribe the gender binary but, instead, to impress upon readers how simple it is to throw gender into question. Gender is just that malleable and its perception so easily manipulated that even one of the most manliest men in the story can be viewed without a shadow of a doubt as a woman. Xie Lian is proof.

[lovelessrage]

A lot of people are completely disinterested in creating a safe space for all aros and aces because that would require letting go of being allowed to publicly shame things like sex and romance. There is a stark difference between repulsion/aversion and negativity, and that line stands where you treat those things as disgusting or as a personal fault/flaw. While I'm romance repulsed, I'm never going to go on my blog and call romance disgusting or gross, because it isn't; it's a feeling, neutral in morality, and a way to live your life if you so choose.

I don't think a lot of people get this or what the difference is. Anybody can be negative and anyone can have harmful ideas, favourable or repulsed. It's about how you treat it, how you express about it, and if you seek to demonise or make those things out to be disgusting, perverse, or deviant.

Even small things or "jokes" add up over time; put yourself in the shoes of someone who has to see those "jokes" made about their lifestyle and what's important to them every day, or even every hour. Would you still feel like they're lighthearted after even one day of reading over and over again?

[Not to say anyone who's done this in the past is a horrible, terrible person. You can change and grow as you take in info; that's just the life experience. But, to grow, you need to actively want to, and that means addressing biases and asking yourself "should I say this? Could this affect my peers?"]

[coconi]

I just finished Tulin's storyline and excuse me while I bawl about this game further cementing the fact that Revali made himself a Champion. He was no descendant of an ancient Sage nor did he have a loving family to train him (that we know of). There was no power destined to be his: he crafted his own version of wind control without any support or spiritual guidance and excelled at it and then he and the other Champions went into battle without the special helms, without a sacred tear/charm to further enhance his abilities, without the certainty of two rulers (and a sage from the future) with god-like powers that could back them up if things went awry. Because of this, the original Sages survived where the Champions did not.

Revali was doomed from the start and if he'd known he would've still honed his craft and piloted Medoh with his beak held high and I am in shambles about it

[crownedwille]

.

[doberbutts]

Vent/rant but I hate it when people go "well transandrophobia is just a word for misogyny that trans men experience (because trans men are female so it's misogyny!1!1!), it doesn't mean that androphobia exists"

Because, it does, men are also oppressed under the patriarchy and that carries over to trans men as well, and the intersection of this is trans men not being seen as "real men" (transphobia), men being seen as inherently bad/predatory (androphobia)

Honestly I think a significant amount of the problem is that trans men begin to transition having internalized the concept of men being treated better and having privilege, experience what it's like to be treated as a man, and go "hey uh. This also sucks." Especially trans men who are under multiple marginalizations- race, ability status, religion...

I've said it before many times but it bears repeating: almost all of the trans guys I know will acknowledge they have "listened to more at work" privilege and "not catcalled" privilege. But they also begin being affected by things that didn't affect them as much when they were read as women, and that makes it so the grass doesn't feel many shades greener on the other side.

I noticed a distinct change in the way coworkers and strangers and especially police began treating me as I pass more and more frequently with less and less effort. I'm passing like 90% of the time at this point and I can tell you it is an incredibly noticeable difference. I'm not saying it was safe to exist as a black GNC woman. I *am* saying that existing as a black man is also pretty unsafe.

[allastoredeer]

Ya'll ever just

Why is housing so impossible???? Why are there so many hoops you have to jump through just to get a roof over your head???? Who thought it was a good idea to make it hard to live on just one income???? Why is it so hard to live off of two incomes for that matter???

I have a job, I pay taxes like everyone else, so why is it a constant back and forth struggle to pay bills and buy essentials. You know, little things like food. I just woke up, I'm hungry, and I'm craving a few billionaires right now. #EatTheRich

Capitalism continues to suck the life out of me and I am being a husk of my former self.

[kitnita]

i think what's interesting to me about the wyattharls dynamic is that wyatt like. i think he really craves violence guys! i think he's a little shit! but he's also been the Team Baby so he hasn't gotten to engage in a lot of violence. he's been on a line with jbenn pretty much from the jump which has shielded him & also kept him from having to hunt down his own retribution or whatever. but whenever guys push him around he clearly has SO much fun goading them and generally being a little shit. when delly took a hit against the oilers this season wyatt rushed in to shove & manhandle the guy who hit delly; he was so ineffective, but he also wasn't tentative about diving into it. he seems to just like the physical aspects of hockey & also happens to just not be very scrappy. and the team doesn't want him to be scrappy! well, except for harls, who seems to enjoy forcing wyatt to be scrappy with him as a form of bonding. i think all the arguing & shoving is enrichment in BOTH their enclosures. 10/10 dynamic (that i have almost entirely constructed in my head). it's cruel & unusual that they were road roommates this whole past season and we never got a story of them breaking a table or something à la tyson barrie at worlds that one time but i like to believe that it happened, in my heart.