#I'm not saying he should be lower! it's the opposite actually

[wayfinderships]

Every once in a while I look at my f/o list and think to myself...

"S.anji's placement isn't quite accurate"

[cupidhoons]

HIS CHEERLEADER

SUMMARY You and Heeseung are friends with benefits. But, why did you have such an effect on him? PAIRING sports player ! heeseung x nerdy fem ! reader (slight jake x fmr) GENRE oneshot & highschool! au, romance, fluff, f2l WARNINGS y/n and heeseung are said to be fwb, heeseung is down bad for you, kissing, swearing, grammar errors, bad writing of sports, lmk if there's more!

"STOP LOOKING FOR HER."

Heeseung whipped his head towards Jake, his expression cross. "I'm not looking for her. She's probably not coming to watch anyway. She doesn't like these types of environments." Heeseung looks down and fidgets with his fingers. "Though, it would be really nice if she came. I'd do better on court." His lower lip coming out without him intending to. Jake laughs at his best friend's sorrowness.

"You look like a lost puppy when you talk about her. Are you sure being 'friends with benefits' is all you want?" He questioned while making air quotes around friends with benefits.

Heeseung defends himself. "We aren't even doing that! We just kiss sometimes and that's it, but it's not a big deal."

Jake narrowed his eyes toward Heeseung. "So, if I said that Y/n was hot and I wanted to take her out one day, you would be okay with it?" His jaw clenched as he looked at Jake. "No, I wouldn't be okay with it. You can't do anything with her or I will-"

"Okay okay! It was a joke Heeseung. I wouldn't actually go for your girl." Heeseung's cheeks burn at Jake's last words. His girl had a pretty nice ring to it. There was no denying that he wanted to make you his.

"Y/n isn't my girl. She only sees me as a friend and sometimes we like to try things."

"I don't understand why you're so interested in her. She's pretty, but she's the complete opposite of you. She's got the brain and smarts and you are...well, Heeseung."

Heeseung looked down. "You aren't supposed to understand when you like someone. It just happens." Jake laughs at his friend before shaking his head. "So, you do like her."

"I don't."

"Yeah, and I don't have a dog named Layla."

"Fuck you." Jake laughs hysterically as Heeseung walks to the court and plays with the volleyball in his hand. His heart hammers in his chest as he gets ready to serve. But, he hears a voice pierce through the air.

"Go Heeseung!"

His focus is suddenly disrupted and the ball goes straight into the net. Fuck. Heeseung's eyes go wide. Even though there's tons of people cheering his name, it's different when he hears your voice. He malfunctions a bit. Why did his mind turn into mush when it comes to you?

"Hey lover boy, get your shit together!" Jake exclaims as Heeseung shakes his head and furrows his eyebrows. When did you have this effect on him?

You sat on the bleachers as you watched the boys play. You didn't expect to come, but you chose to be there for him because he was so excited to watch him play. Besides, you needed a change to setting considering that you were always in your room.

You watch as your friend serves again, and the ball goes in the air this time. You see that a lot of girls are here to cheer on the guys, and it's pretty obvious that a lot of the boys got the girls that want them. You wonder if anyone else has eyes for Heeseung.

You wouldn't be able to complain about it, he's cute and has an attractive build since he played sports. His muscles show that he's been working out and his tank top of revealing all of it. He looks perfect.

You can't also deny that you have eyes for your best friend, you find him attractive. Sometimes, you think that you feel a little bit more than you should. And it scares you, just a bit, though.

"Hey Y/n!" Jake says walking towards you during their water break. You smile as you hand him his bottle. "Hey Jake! How long have you been out here?" He settles himself beside you as you scoot over a bit for him. Heeseung's friends are so incredibly fine, there was no denying. "Mmm I'm not sure, maybe since nine? I don't know...But, I should tell you something."

You go closer to him and the glimpse him and see Heeseung staring at you both. Jake has a glint in his eyes that tells you he's about to cause trouble. How silly Jake is. "I'll tell you later since Heeseung is coming over. But," He puts his mouth by your ear and whispers. "I think Heeseung doesn't really like it when I talk to you alone. I think he might have feelings for you." Your eyes grow wide and Jake giggles at your reaction. He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later, sweetheart."

You smile shyly at him as Heeseung replaces his spot when Jake leaves. "What's up with him? Did you touch you?"

"No. Well, not in an uncomfortable way anyway." You nod. You feel him put an arm around you. You freeze.

He might really like you.

What's wrong?" He notices the way you look bewildered.

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing. Anyway, go play for me." Heeseung laughs as you slightly nudge him.

"Do you want me to show off or something?"

"Why not? I get to have the man that everyone wants." You scrunch your nose. There was a funny thing about you being her at his games. The way you would just say the flirtiest lines for fun to taunt him made him feel weirdly happy.

When he needed motivation, you were his solution. You pushed him to his limits, and he didn't know why. Maybe he wanted to show of just a little to make you proud. But, he loved when your smile seemed to be wider when you saw him. He wanted to see that everyday.

So, with courage, you finally let it out. Jake gave you a boost of confidence into saying what was on your mind, so you wanted to try. "Think of it this way, if you win this one for me...I'll go out with you. For real this time. Not as friends, but something more." Heeseung's jaw went slack as the words left your mouth.

The blush was evident on your face as the moment passes by, but Heeseung finally get his senses back and beams.

"I would love to go out with you as something more." You smile at his answer, thankful that he didn't reject your offer. You suppose you owe Jake for this. "Then, play well for me babe."

Now, it's Heeseung's turn to be blushing. You didn't know where you got the sudden pet name from, but you sure did love seeing a flustered Heeseung in front of you.

"I sure as hell will." He nods his blushing head.

You watch him walk back to the court. Jake look at you with a knowing glance. He knows damn well that you did something during the break. You feel like your sudden boldness came out of nowhere, and you weren't sure what to think of it. It's funny how a single guy can make you feel so giddy inside.

As the match begins, you watch as he dives for the ball to keep it up. When spiking it, he makes sure he gives it his all. Jake continues to glance at you from time to time, trying to understand what exactly you did to make his friend play harder.

With every hit, he looks over at you, who gives him the biggest smile. He feels euphoric.

THE MATCH ENDS in the next hour. The Decelis team destroyed the other side with a 2-1 game and the last set with 25-14 points.

He really tried this one. Your eyes are wide as his team starts to cheer and yell in victory. The girls from the bleachers running towards the group to congratulate them and probably ask them out. You see a few girls crowding around Heeseung, who seems to not care at all. His focus is on you and you only.

You laugh at him struggling to get through the crowd around him. You find it a classic that he had girls crawling to him as you still sat on the bleachers. His eyes on you, a wide grin drawn on his face because he knows what's coming. He rejects the girls asking him out and nearly trips on his way to you.

"You don't have to rush y'know. I don't wanna ruin the party." You say lightly as Heeseung pulls you up to your feet and presses his lips on yours. You're shocked by the sudden intimacy from your friend. You can hear Jake screaming at you two and it makes you want to laugh, but you can't. Not when Heeseung is kissing you like your his last breath in front of everyone. He's putting all his emotion into it.

You feel his arm snake around your face as you push him away. He chases your lips and you groan. "You are so sweaty Hee! Get off!"

"No. Not when you're finally mine." He holds you tighter to his body. You grab the towel around his neck and start to wipe his sweaty face and arms. You giggle as you lock eyes with him.

"Are you that in love with me? Your eyes say everything."

"Duh, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since we became friends. Why do you think we were experimenting with kisses and couple-y stuff?"

"Well, I don't know. I just thought you wanted some fun." You shrug as he frowns.

"I wanted to ask you out first, but you beat me to it. And, I didn't like it when Jake basically made out with your cheek." You laugh at his remark. "I really did! Made me want to die knowing my girl let a guy kiss her cheek!" He added, making you laugh even harder. You whack him and push his clingily self off you to get your things.

"So, about that date? Where would you like to go?"

"Anywhere with you there. Also, promise me something." You nod as he intertwined his fingers with yours. Your heart feels like it's about to explode and its freaking you out. You see Jake across the court putting his thumbs up for you two. He's happy that you two finally got together. Heeseung kisses your hand and you blush harder than ever.

"Be there for me when I need you. Come to my games and kiss me often. I'm more of a physical guy y'know."

"I know, and I promise." You laugh and kiss him again.

As he stares down at you, Heeseung knows he made the right choice with you, His mom likes you, and you get along with his friends. You are only girl for him. You loved him for him, you were in this for him. He couldn't be any happier to know the girl of his dreams is finally his girlfriend and his number one cheerleader.

END.

NOTE hi :) if you made it this far, then thank you so much for reading and i hope enjoyed!! please like + reblog cuz it'll really be appreciated!! thank you sm for reading, and hope you come back to my blog for more of my works!

BACK TO THE SHELF !

[wongyuuu]

back room | csc

pairing: seungcheol x f!reader genre: smut word count: 2.3k summary: while seungcheol is on a meeting you decide that it's a great moment to send him nudes. warnings: minors do not interact, kissing, stimulation, swearing, petnames, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don't do this) a/n: this is part of 1k event, it was requested @xcynthiaaa. i hope you like it. prompts: "Feeling a bit possessive, aren't we?" + “Can you stop sending me nudes, I’m at work.” lower case was intentional, not proofread

you anxiously watched the meeting room, you glanced at your phone every now and then to make sure that seungcheol had gotten your text. he was doing a good job of keeping a straight face, his eyes not even once going to his phone or to you, though you were sure that he knew that the new influx of texts was from you. 

without meaning to, your eyes went from him to the woman sitting right in front of him. since the beginning of the meeting she never stopped looking at seungcheol and if the nasty gossip that floated to your ears was any true, she had been hitting on him a long time before you showed up.

maybe you were feeling a little insecure about yourself, because the woman was stunning, with the kind of face and body one could easily find in a magazine, or maybe you just hated the fact that there was a woman throwing herself at your boyfriend. to his credit, seungcheol never looked at her, unless she directly called his name, and when she touched his leg with her pointy shoes he scooted his chair back.

you bit your lip, wanting to come up with an excuse to go into the meeting room and maybe end it. but you didn't have a good one and although if you did go in, no one would ever bat an eye, it just wasn't right. and, more than anything else, it could backfire and instead of being amused by your sudden jealousy, seungcheol would get angry because you could have potentially ruined an important moment for him. 

so you kept your butt on your chair, doing your very best to keep your focus on the work that needed to be done. it was pointless and you knew that. every couple of seconds your eyes moved to the meeting room. 

"who was the idiot that decided that a meeting room should have glass walls?" you asked no one in particular. 

"pretty sure it was the ceo" wonwoo said from the desk in front of you. 

it was a surprise that he even heard you in the first place. wonwoo was great at ignoring the people around him, you more than anyone else, and he usually had his earbuds in, blasting music loud enough that people near him could hear it too. you liked to pretend that he never answered because his hearing was getting progressively worse because of all the loud music. 

"almost certain your boyfriend agreed, saying it was a great idea," he said, not looking at you. 

you choked on your own saliva, eyes wide as you reached for the water bottle on your right. no one was supposed to know about your relationship with seungcheol, as it was against company rules. both of you thought that you had done a good job in hiding it, a fantastic one actually. 

you never arrived together, never left together, barely talked of things that weren't specific about work, and if there was a company dinner you never sat close to each other, always choosing opposite sides, but careful enough not to be facing each other. 

you were always careful, to the point most people thought you didn't like each other. 

"he's not..."

"you don't have to lie" he waved a hand in your direction, "i'm the only one who knows. and i only know because i saw you together a couple of weeks ago at a restaurant" 

you opened your mouth to say something when your phone suddenly lit up with an incoming text. it was pathetic how quickly you grabbed your phone, to the point wonwoo laughed at you. 

cheol feeling a bit possessive, aren't we?

you bit your lip trying to hide your smile but it was almost impossible. when you looked at the meeting room, seungcheol's eyes were focused on you. 

to the average person, he looked displeased, angry even. but you knew that the glint in his eyes was for a different reason.

you moved your attention back to your phone.

you just wanted to remind you that you have a girlfriend

you went through your gallery again, clicking on the picture you took a few days before and pressing send. seungcheol had to be away for a few days because of work and because you weren't part of his team, there was no reason for you to tag along. you had been feeling hornier than usual, needy even. so you decided that if you were missing your boyfriend to the point where your fingers could do nothing but make you even needier, he too could miss you a little bit. 

so you took pictures of yourself sprawled in his bed, wearing the red lingerie you knew he liked the most, and sent it to him. it took him a couple of hours to see it and it was so long that you started to think that maybe it had been a bad idea and that though he was someone who enjoyed foreplay there were things that he wasn't willing to do. 

to your surprise and delight, he was more into it than you expected. 

after that, if you were feeling pretty enough, you'd take pictures and randomly send them to him. 

cheol you know i love it but, can you stop sending me nudes? i'm at work  we're at work

you okay ;)

you send him a different picture, this time one he had taken the night before, of your reflection in the mirror while you rode him. 

you smiled at your phone before setting it down, happy with yourself. seungcheol looked almost pained as he turned his attention back to the meeting, nodding his head every now and then, but his eyes continued to move back to his phone. 

he couldn't really believe what you had done, though you weren't the shiest woman he had ever met, for you there had always been certain boundaries you refused to cross. he couldn't help but wonder if you had gotten jealous enough to do that, send him pictures while he was in a room filled with people. had the client had gone a little further you would have barged into the room ready for a fight? 

his hard on was a little uncomfortable, and yes he crossed his legs in order to hide it, but it was extremely hard to keep the smile away from his face.

"i'm sure we can make the adjustments for next week, can't we seungcheol?" his boss suddenly said.

seungcheol cleared his throat and adjusted himself on the chair. 

"yes, i can finish it by friday next week

"great!" the woman said in her high pitched tone. 

seungcheol took a discreet deep breath to keep himself from rolling his eyes. 

he didn't know how you even thought that he could be interested in her, or if anything at all even went through your brain. the client was objectively pretty but everything else about her didn't do much for him. and she crossed one too many lines during the meeting. seungcheol made it a point to keep quiet for the day but there was no way he would stand another meeting with the woman. he would still work on the project but the ceo could handle her by himself, something told him he would be happy to.

"i was thinking that maybe we could all go for lunch," she started.

seungcheol stood up, shaking his head. he pulled the folder from the desk and held it in front of himself. the sight was ridiculous and he could picture you laughing in his head.

"i have a lot of work to catch up on, i'll have to pass on it"

the polite thing to do would be to shake her hand but seungcheol wanted to get away as fast as possible so once the ceo nodded at him, he turned on his heels and left the meeting room. 

he went straight to your desk. you smiled while looking down and at the mere sight of you, his cock twitched like he was a fucking teenager that had never seen a woman before. 

"yn, i need you at the archive room. now"

at the sound of his voice, you looked up. your smile melted away and you wore the usual serious face whenever seungcheol was around. 

he hated it, the fact that you had to hide your relationship. he wanted everyone to know that you were his, and then maybe all the stupid men in the office would stop trying to ask you out. 

"why?" you asked, your tone bored. 

"because you were the last one to go through the files and i need help" he matched your bored tone. 

wonwoo laughed, making seungcheol turn to him. he raised his eyebrows, a silent question thrown at the man sitting in front of you. wonwwo just shook his head, his smile suddenly gone. he turned to you, eyebrows still raised. 

you sighed and followed him. your heels clicking on the floor while you followed him three steps behind. 

was the archive room always that far away?

"what do you need?" you asked, tone still bored, when the room came into view. 

seungcheol opened the door for you and followed you inside, locking the door behind him. 

when you turned to look at him you smiled at him, your arms crossed over your chest. he threw the folder he used to cover himself to the side and put his hands on his waist. you watched in complete amazement and laughed when you noticed the bulge in his pants. 

"awn, did you like the pictures that much?" your voice was taunting. 

seungcheol took three steps closer to you and pulled your hand, putting it over his cock. just that was almost enough to get a moan out of him. 

the second he saw the picture of you over him, his dick deep inside your pussy, it was all he could think about. having you again, as fast as possible was his only concern. 

"there are cameras in here," you said, your eyes wide while you looked around, lightly pulling your hand away from his grasp. 

"there isn't"  

at his words, you opened the zipper of his pants just enough to push your hands into his boxers. you wrapped your hand around his cock and ran your thumbs over his tip, pumping him a couple of times. you smiled when a quick shudder ran over him. 

seungcheol grabbed your face and pulled you to him, his lips crashing over yours. he pushed his tongue through your lips, taking control. his hands moved down to your neck, squeezing it softly. 

"my little menace," he said "what did you think was going to happen, hm?"

he pulled your skirt up until it was pooled around your waist and pushed you until your back was pressed against the wall.

"you wanted me to walk out of that room and fuck you, over your desk?"

you moaned at the thought, though in your ideal world, none of your coworkers would be around to witness it. seungcheol turned you around and forced your legs apart with his feet while holding one of your arms behind your back. you used your free hand to steady yourself on the wall. 

"if you don't ask, i'm not going to fuck you, baby" 

it was something seungcheol often relished on, the fact that he could make you beg. you were so quiet, so shy, but he always made you say it, implore for it. 

"you're the one with a hard on, sweetheart" you teased. if he thought that you were going to beg this time too, he was wrong "i can go back to work as if nothing happened"

you really couldn't. if you did it was going to be the worst work day for you because the only thing you could possibly think about was the fact that your boyfriend had a hard on because of you and you said no when he wanted to fuck you. 

seungcheol shoved your panties aside and pushed himself into you. he groaned as your walls sucked him in. you moaned at the feeling of being full, at being stretched out to fit him. he moved relentlessly, his pace almost cruel as he searched for his release. 

"jesus, cheol..." a loud moan left your lips as you were suddenly pressed on the wall. 

"you have to be quiet, baby" you could feel his smirk on your neck "everyone will hear you"

seungcheol snaked his arm around your waist, and his fingers worked your clit with the same drive as his hips moved. he was a madman and you loved every single piece of him. you covered your mouth with your hand, your eyes shut close, in a pathetic attempt to be quiet. even if your moans couldn't be heard, there was no way people wouldn't hear the sound of his hips on your yours. 

"you’re going to be filled with cum" he whispered, his free hand grabbing your neck, tilting your head back "running down your thighs the entire day"

seungcheol pinched your clit and it was enough to throw you over the edge. this time you were able to swallow your moan. you pressed your hands on the wall, trying to steady yourself, as your legs shook. seungcheol was quick to follow, your walls clenching around him like a vice as he pounded into you again and again. 

he used your shoulder to quiet his own moan and heavy breath.

"just so you know, this wasn't my intention," you said once you were able to breathe again.

seungcheol laughed and took a step back as he adjusted his shirt and pants.

"no?"

you rolled your eyes and leaned on the wall.

"maybe later, at your place" you gave in

he laughed and pulled your skirt down while you buttoned his shirt. 

"well, it's only noon"

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[authorhjk1]

Interlude: Doctor appointment turns into bunny breeding sessions

( Kim Minji X Male Reader)

You sigh as you look around the waiting room. It has been a couple of minutes now, since the two girls left. About to stand up, you suddenly see one of the doors open.

The woman in the doorframe makes your eyes widen. Who is she?

The Korean woman wears a black jacket and a pair of shorts. The shorts almost make it look like she isn't wearing anything to cover her core at all. Her black choker and leather boots complete the all black outfit. It looks like she is also wearing fishnets, which barely even reach her knees.

"Ugh! I hate it here."

She slumps down on the chair on your left. Only now you realize she is also wearing a black top.

"How come?"

You decide to talk to her. This isn't an actual waiting room after all, which means she must live here. And that means, she is probably in on all this.

"The doctor is crap."

She doesn't even look at you as she blows a bubble with her gum.

"Which one?"

"The one with the pink hair."

She has her legs and arms crossed, while she sits next to you.

You frown. The two girls you met at the airport had brown and black hair. Whom is she talking about?

"What's your name?"

"Minji. Yours?"

"(Y/n)."

She offers you her fist and you give her a fist bump.

"Is something going on downtown?"

"What?"

You look at her in confusion.

"Is something wrong with your..."

She deliberately looks down at your crotch.

"Why would you ask that?"

"Because the doctors here are specialized in that area."

Minji blows another bubble, letting it pop loudly.

"I see."

It's silent for a couple of moments, before she asks again.

"So? Something going on?"

You ponder if you should tell her. This is still fake. So maybe you will get something out of this. You eye her from the side. Her face looks like that of an angel, although she is currently going for the opposite persona. Her black top is low cut, which means you have no trouble enjoying the view. Because the lower part of her jacket is covering her shorts, it looks like she isn't wearing any pants. Her long, creamy legs are on display.

"I produce too much.... You know?"

You glance at her face as she looks at you.

"I see."

She nods while blowing another bubble.

"And you?"

She shrugs her shoulder.

"I have this kink. Although the doctor says it's an addiction."

She scoffs, before shaking her head.

"What kind?"

You might have sounded a little too curious.

Minji ignores your question as she suddenly looks around.

"Hey, can you make sure no one comes in?"

A little surprised, you nod, before seeing Minji leaving her seat. She walks towards the "counter" before leaning over it. Her jacket rides up as she reaches for something. Her tight black shorts hug her butt perfectly, giving it a perfect shape.

But your eyes are quickly caught by something else. Black ink is decorating her left thigh, right above the back of her knee. The tattoo seems to be made out of three small butterflies.

Once she found it, she turns around, holding up her phone.

"Those idiots took it away from me. They said, I can't stop reading this stuff, but they are just overreacting."

"What kind of stuff?"

You watch Minji walking back to her seat next to you.

"I keep reading fan fiction about me. I'm a rock star, you know?"

"Oh, really?"

"Surprising, right? A sweet girl like me?"

She wiggles her eyebrows mockingly, before turning her phone on.

"And what kind of fan fiction?"

"I found this amazing story on Wattpad least year. The author's name was something with HJK? I dunno. But it was deleted. Luckily, I took a few screenshots."

"And what is it about?"

Minji winks at you.

"It's about how I get my back blown out by the reader."

You don't know how to respond to that. You are glad she keeps talking.

"I'm supposed to have a throat fuck kink, according to the story."

"And is that true?"

You are surprised at how freely she talks about this.

"Well, yeah. I like it. But that's not my favorite thing."

You see her opening her Tumblr account "timetobreedminji". After seeing her username, you are already able to guess, what her favorite thing is. Still you ask her, wanting to hear it from Minji in person.

"And what is your favorite thing?"

The Korean girl looks up from her phone to look at you. Her eyes are big and dark.

"Beeing bred."

Her eyes suddenly become a little darker as if you just triggered something in her.

"The doctors try to convince me, that I'm delusional, but that's not true. Do you know, why my fans call me bunny or rabbit?"

You shake your head. You expected another kind of name for a rock star, but you are in Korea after all.

"Because they all want to breed me."

"Really?"

You don't sound as surprised as you thought you would. Minji nods her head.

"The doctors told me, I'm fertile as hell. Perfect for breeding."

Her phone is lying forgotten on the seat next to her. Glancing at it, you read the title of the post, which she is currently reading. "Doctor's appointment turns into bunny breeding session"

(Author's note: "What the...??")

Minji looks around the room, before sighing heavily.

"Do you know how long it has been, since someone tried to breed me?"

You shake your head.

"About a week ago. I feel so empty."

By now, your dick in your pants is already hard. Forget about Yoohyeon and SuA. You have to fuck Minji first.

"Wait a minute."

She scans you up and down.

"You said your balls are producing too much cum, right?"

You nod your head hesitantly. Minji makes this roleplay stuff feel very real.

"Isn't that great for breeding?"

You should have known this question would come eventually.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the more you cum in me, the higher the chance you breed me properly."

"But I have an appointment soon."

Minji rolls her eyes in annoyance. Her rock star persona shining through.

"I don't give a fuck. Those doctors are dumb anyways. Wouldn't it help us both?"

You think about it for a moment. She is not wrong.

"You would lose some of that cum of yours and I can be your breeding bunny. That's a win-win."

"I don't see the harm in that."

As soon as you agree, Minji straddles your lap.

"Finally I'm gonna get some cum in my belly."

She whispers, before kissing your lips.

You hold onto her thighs to steady her on top of you. Her soft, creamy skin feels smooth underneath your palm.

Minji grinds on you, rubbing her center against your own. She can feel your hard cock in your pants, which makes her even wetter. As she imagines, how you would cum in her, you start to attack the flawless skin on her neck.

You immediately realize, that Minji only has one goal in mind. She already starts to undo your belt. Having sex is just a way to get what she wants. It's just a means to an end. You wonder if that's the role she is playing, or if that's actually her.

You lift your hips as you feel Minji pull off your pants and your underwear in one go.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have time to suck you off."

The Korean girl's breathing becomes faster as she reaches for your cock.

"I just need your cum in me. As soon as possible."

She let's some spit fall out of her mouth and onto your dick. Her hand makes sure that it's all wet. Still a little surprised at her speed, you are only able to watch as she lifts her hips.

"Get them off me. Please."

She sighs, while waiting for you to pull her pants down as well. The black fabric is tighter around her body as you expected. It takes a second to peel her shorts off of her. She isn't wearing panties, only a small stripe of hair decorates her lower region.

"Put it in already."

Her demands turn into whines as she waits for you to act. You guide her hips towards you, while Minji points your cock at her entrance. As she sinks onto you, you feel her snatch taking in your dick. Minji's walls have a tight grip on you as she lowers herself further.

"If I knew you were so big, I would've taken my time with it."

She sighs as you run your hands along the smooth skin of her thighs.

"I wish I could've felt these around my head."

You tease her as you squeeze her thighs slightly.

Minji sighs heavily, already stuffed with half of your cock. She leans forward, pressing her clothed chest into your face. You feel her hard nipples graze your cheeks as Minji takes a fistful of your hair.

"I'm such a needy bunny, I know."

She pushes your head further into her chest, while she slowly starts to ride you. When she Minji sinks down on you fully, her face is on level with yours. When she moves upwards, she presses your head into her chest. You take every opportunity to kiss her skin as you feel her pussy around your cock. You can feel Minji relaxing and contracting her muscles with the rhythm of her movements. She really does try her best to make you cum as fast as possible.

You wonder, how long you can hold out, not wanting to see this end too soon. You reach behind her to take handfuls of her cheeks. Minji moans into your mouth.

"Just use me, until you cum."

Before you can answer, you are faced with her black top again. When Minji sinks back onto your cock, she throws her head back, letting her hair look like a waterfall behind her.

You start to take control of her bounces, making her go a little faster. Much to her enjoyment it seems as Minji releases moan after moan.

"Make me ride your cock, baby."

Her walls squeeze you tighter, her pussy desperate to milk you dry.

"Fuck, Minji I-"

"Yes! Yes! Cum in me!"

She feels your cock twitching inside of her. You squeeze her ass harder, trying to hold on a second longer as you practically pull her onto your cock, before pushing her off again.

"Breed me! Breed this little bunny!"

You feel pain on your scalp. The result of Minji trying to hold onto her own high, wanting to climax when you cum as well.  It makes your head roll back too as you try to ease the pain.

"Give it to me! Breed me!"

"Fuck."

You moan as you finally unload inside of Minji. You hold her down, her pussy sealed around your cock tightly. The young woman shakes slightly on top of you as she feels her orgasm washing over her, while your cum floods her insides.

You open your eyes, when you finally come down from your high. Minji's chin rests on your shoulder as she tries to catch her breath. This was quite short. And yet, really good. It's evident that she has some experience. You feel your cock still inside of her as Minji slowly rolls her hips.

"Do you think you can give me a another load? Just to make sure you are breeding me properly?"

You could have said no. Maybe you even should have, knowing that the other two girls are waiting for you. And yet, you can't help yourself.

You wrap your arms around her, trapping Minji against your body. The two of you stay connected as you stand up. Although Minji is small and light it's still hard not to trip. You carry her to the kitchen counter as you feel her lips on your neck.

"Drown my pussy in cum, baby."

She whispers into your ear as you sit her down on the counter. She unlocks her legs behind you, enabling you to take them into your hands.

Minji lies down, her back pressed against the cold surface. She can feel it underneath her jacket. She is still wearing her boots and fishnets as you put her ankles onto your shoulders. You have a great view of Minji's pussy as you let your hands glide along her legs. Your fingers dance over the dark butterflies on her skin, until they reach her waist.

You see the young woman nodding. Her gaze a mixture of excitement and need.

Slightly pressing down on her belly, you almost pull out completely.

Pushing back inside, you hear her pussy making wet sounds. You push your cum further into Minji as you start to rock her world on top of her own kitchen counter.

"Oh fuck! So much cum!"

She feels your warm cum inside of her as you fuck her hard.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Minji arches her back off the stone surface. You hold onto her thighs, feeling one of her ankles slowly slip off your shoulder. The young Korean seems to interpret your actions differently.

"Yes! Put me in a mating press! Breed me!"

She moans loudly, almost shouting. You pull her further towards you, making her ass leave the surface. Leaning over her, you push Minji's legs towards her body. You start to fold her in half. Her boots reach her head and she holds onto her own ankles. You place your hands on the back of her thighs, one directly on her tattoo.

Her pleading face makes you fuck her harder. Now you are slightly above her, hitting even deeper spots.

"Fuck yes! Push your cum further!"

Minji mewls as you keep pounding her. You feel your muscles slowy getting tired as you use all your strength to push into Minji. She looks so sexy like that. Lying on her back, her ankles in her hands, unable to do anything but take your pounding.

Your thumb grazes over her butterflies. You are not a fan of permanent tattoos on women, but fake ones like these are very sexy. This one is quite small, but seductive. You wonder how Ahin would look wih a tattoo. Maybe on her back? A big one?

You lose your thoughts as Minji's pussy brings you back to reality. It squeezes your cock tightly, trying to drain you again. You feel your orgasm approaching as you fuck Minji into the counter.

"Gonna cum!"

You are surprised she cums so early, you expected her to orgasm with you again. She reaches around her anke with her left hand, covering her mouth with her hand.

Minji's head rocks back and forth along with her body as you drive her towards her orgasm.

"Fuck!"

Her scream is muffled, yet audible. Her body shakes, a little harder than the first time, as Minji cums around your cock again. It makes her pussy tighter, bringing you closer towards the edge as well.

"Fuck, Minji. I'm gonna cum in you."

"Yes!"

Her hand has left her mouth as she nods her head vigorously.

"Fill me up again! Breed my little bunny pussy! Give me baby bunnies!"

Not the usual choice of words, when someone begs you to cum in them, but Minji makes it sound somewhat alluring.

You grip harder onto her thighs as you push her legs further towards her. She is one flexible woman, taking your pounding in this position with ease.

"Fuck!"

You hiss as you unload a second time in Minji's pussy.

"Yes! Fill my womb! Cum in me!"

Her hole holds onto you tightly as you shoot rope after rope of cum into her freshly fucked pussy.

"So warm."

Minji sighs as she feels your cum inside of her. You lean over her, pressing her legs against her torso.

"I hope you stay addicted to this. I would love to breed you again."

Minji chuckles, wrapping her hands around your neck, pulling you closer.

"Wait for me after your appointment. And don't waste too much cum on them. They don't know how to appreciate it."

[theostrophywife]

Hey! I love your work! I was wondering if you could do a Azriel x reader fic where reader doesn’t know a lot about males and so az (maybe he already has a thing for reader) offers to give her lessons? The more NSFW the better 😉

innocence.

author's note: sorry for being m.i.a. please accept this as my apology gift. largely inspired by this song. you can't tell me that az doesn't have the biggest corrpution kink 😏

it started out innocently enough.

one winter evening after a particularly rowdy wine night, you and azriel laid in a heap at the house of wind, giggling at nothing as the warmth of the alcohol lowered your inhibitions and loosened your lips.

"never?" azriel asked incredulously, his brows creasing in the most adorable way. "you've truly never kissed anyone?"

you pouted, crossing your arms. thanks to cassian and his big mouth, the shadowsinger now knew the true extent of your naivete. growing up in the high priestess's temple in the dawn court, you had devoted much of your life to duty and training, which left little to no room for encounters with the opposite sex.

it never bothered you before. until you moved to the night court and met the shadowsinger. azriel was beyond gorgeous and smart and funny and probably well-versed in the art of seduction, which is more than you could say for your inexperienced self.

"don't tease, az." you groaned, covering your face behind your hands. as if that would hide the flush spreading through your cheeks. "i'm already mortified enough as it is."

"hey," azriel said softly as he gently grabbed your wrists. "it's nothing to be embarrassed about, love."

"you're just saying that to be nice."

the shadowsinger shook his head. "i torture people for a living," he deadpanned. "i am not nice."

you chuckled, which brought a smile to azriel's handsome face. "besides, practice makes perfect. i've seen you go from not knowing how to hold a sword to perfecting the eight point attack in a matter of weeks. kissing should be a piece of cake compared to that."

"kissing and fighting aren't the same thing."

azriel smirked. "it is, if you're doing it right. all it takes is a good teacher." the tips of your ears reddened. “and we all know how fast of a learner you are.”

you snorted. "somehow i doubt that nesta would be into the idea of letting me borrow her mate for lessons." a little frown formed on your face. "or maybe she would. you never know with those two."

the idea formed in azriel's mind before he could think better of it. the shadowsinger hated that he thought of it in the first place, but fuck. you were both a little tipsy and a tiny bit reckless and he'd been crushing on you for far too long and maybe tonight was the night he finally did something about it.

"i could teach you."

you stilled. “what?”

azriel shrugged and put on his most nonchalant expression even though his inner monologue was currently pure turmoil. “i could teach you how to kiss.” he cleared his throat, lowering his gaze to yours. “it might help to practice with someone you’re comfortable with.”

you cocked your head, weighing his words. “you’re…actually serious about this.”

“why wouldn’t i be?”

“well, wouldn’t it make things weird? you’re my best friend. best friends don’t just kiss.”

you had him there. azriel certainly had never offered this unique service to any of his friends before. “i don’t think it’s weird. i think it makes perfect sense. in fact, it’s weird that we’re not kissing right now. best friends kiss all the time,” the shadowsinger deadpanned.

you snorted. “so you and cassian are just having heated little makeout sessions behind me and nesta’s back?”

azriel winked. “i won’t tell if you don’t.”

that earned an earnest little giggle out of you. then you were quiet again, lost in the pros and cons.

pro: you really wanted to kiss azriel.

con: you really wanted to kiss azriel.

what if you were horrible at it? what if you had bad breath? what if you accidentally bit him? what if azriel figured out that you had a pathetic little crush on him and he doesn’t return the feelings and your friendship implodes then you’d have to move back to the dawn court and adopt a bunch of cats just like thesan always teased you about when you were children—

“you’re spiraling.”

you crossed your arms. “am not.”

azriel rolled his eyes fondly. “i can practically see the steam coming out of your ears.” his expression softened as he turned over on the couch, his chin perched in one hand. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to. i just…” the bob of an adam’s apple. “i just wanted your first kiss to be with someone who genuinely cares about you.”

that turned your insides into mush. “oh.”

the shadowsinger’s cheeks reddened. “never mind, it sounds silly now that i’ve said it out loud.”

“it’s not,” you said, sitting cross legged on the sofa. “it’s not stupid, az. it’s really sweet, actually.”

your heart hammered inside of your chest as you faced azriel. his hazel eyes glowed golden under the faelights and a warm flush colored his cheeks a rosy tone. from this close, you could make out the constellations of freckles that kissed his nose and cheeks, its traitorous little trail stopping just above his cupid’s bow. you couldn’t help it. your gaze went straight to his lips. they looked soft, sensual, and perfectly kissable. you wondered if he’d taste like sweet wine.

“y/n?” azriel murmured softly.

“hmm?”

“you’re staring.”

your cheeks reddened and a slight smirk tugged at the corner of azriel’s mouth. “you’re the one who brought up kissing,” you countered, raising a brow. “now i can’t stop staring at your stupid lips.”

the shadowsinger’s smirk grew wider. “my stupid lips,” he repeated. “that you want to kiss.”

“no,” you blurted. azriel raised a knowing brow. “yes. maybe.” you shifted awkwardly. “what if i’m terrible at it? what if i accidentally miss? what if i don’t know where to put my hands? oh my gods, what if i accidentally bite you?”

to his credit, there wasn’t an ounce of judgement on azriel’s face. he’d witnessed your outbursts enough times that he wasn’t even fazed by it. the shadowsinger grabbed your hand and traced soothing circles over your knuckles. “one, no one’s first kiss is great. at best, it’s weird and awkward because you’re just trying to figure it out. that’s kind of the point. two, you won’t miss. just follow my lead. three, the neck or waist are generally safe spots to place your hands.” azriel demonstrated by wrapping your arms around his neck. “lastly, i don’t mind if you bite me. in fact, i might enjoy it.” he gave you a cheeky wink that helped dissipate the rest of your anxious worries.

you chuckled softly. leave it to azriel to make you laugh mid freak out. the shadowsinger smiled and cauldron fucking boil you, the sight of it pretty much sealed your fate.

“so,” you murmured, toying with the loose curls at the nape of azriel’s neck. “what now?”

“that’s entirely up to you, love.”

you blinked. once, twice. the smell of cedar and starkissed night. freckles and rosy cheeks. warm, golden eyes that melted your insides like honey. scarred hands that caressed the side of your face with heartbreaking gentleness.

“kiss me, azriel.”

the shadowsinger did not need to be told twice. he tilted your chin, brushing his nose against yours for a brief moment. azriel took a deep breath like he was savoring the moment, like his entire life had been leading up to this. then he kissed you.

his lips were as soft as freshly plucked rose petals and as sweet as the wine that still coated your tongue. they pressed against yours, gentle and exploring as azriel cupped your cheek. you leaned into him and your fingers found purchase in his silky, dark locks as azriel deepened the kiss. his arm snaked across your back as he pulled you into his lap, his mouth never once leaving yours. the sweet innocent pecks did not stay innocent for long.

the shadowsinger groaned as you nestled into him. there wasn’t an inch of your body that wasn’t pressed against him, but still you wanted more. your hands moves of their own accord and slipped underneath azriel’s cream sweater. his skin felt like a warm summer day despite the fact that it was currently the dead of winter.

“fuck,” azriel growled into your neck.

you pulled away, startled. it didn’t even occur to you that your fingers were as cold as icicles. “shit. sorry, az i didn’t think—“

you slipped your hands out of his sweater, but azriel caught you by the wrist. “no,” he grunted, his voice dark and low and dangerous. “no, don’t stop.”

it was the hottest thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life. even hotter still with the way azriel tugged you to him as though he’d rather die than have you stop touching him. you greedily obliged, taking the lead this time. azriel cursed under his breath as you kissed him again, tangling his curls between your fingers. there was something intoxicating about him—his taste, his touch, his kiss. you couldn’t get enough.

when you finally came up for breath, the shadowsinger looked at you as though he’d been starving for centuries and you’d only really begun to scratch the surface of his hunger. azriel wanted to devour you.

but tonight, he’d settle for a kiss. except, it was anything but.

azriel was fucked.

he blinked, drinking in your lust added gaze and flushed cheeks. you brought your bottom lip between your teeth and it was all he could do to reel himself in. “are…are all first kisses like that?” your voice was hoarse from disuse and utterly sexy.

“no,” azriel answered honestly. “i’ve never had a kiss like that.”

your grin brought out a set of dimples that azriel had long ago deemed as his greatest weaknesses. “and i’ve never had a first kiss, period.”

and you never will again, azriel thought. not if he could help it.

“does that feel good, love?” azriel asked as he pressed a kiss against your collar bone.

you whimpered as his lips trailed between the valley of your breasts. since that first kiss, you and azriel hadn’t been able to keep your hands off of each other. over the last few weeks, the apprehension you felt about your inexperience slowly started to feel like a blessing in disguise. azriel said you were a fast learner, but only because he was such a great teacher.

“gods,” you breathed, clutching the sheets as azriel continued his descent.

“you can just call me az, you know.”

you rolled your eyes at the cheeky male below you. from this angle, he certainly looked like a god. his hair was a tousled mess, dark curls tangled from where you ran your fingers through it. sweat dripped down his shirtless torso, his golden brown skin glowing in the afternoon light. you were vaguely aware that the sun as setting over the horizon, which meant that the rest of your friends would be arriving for dinner, but neither one of you seemed to care.

during the past few weeks, you and azriel continued your lessons. first base was easy enough to master. the two of you put in plenty of hours sneaking off to make out in azriel’s room, the wine cellar, the training pits, and even in feyre’s art studio at the river house once when things really got desperate. it was a wonder that your friends hadn’t caught you yet. there had been several close calls with cassian. mostly because the male was a nosy busybody.

second base took a little more work. you were terrified at first. you and azriel had been making out in your bed for what seemed like hours before you finally mustered up the courage to slip your hand into his trousers. the shadowsinger made a sound that was half growl and half purr and for a split second you were afraid that you’d hurt him. when you voiced your fears, azriel was quick to reassure you.

“i’m not in pain, love.” azriel said, his voice strained and breathy. “trust me, i feel the complete opposite.”

“tell me how to make you feel good, az.”

the string of curse words that fell from his lips were so filthy that it made you blush. the shadowsinger guided your hand over his cock and you nearly gasped at the impressive length. azriel was hot and hard beneath your touch, his wings flexing as you grasped him in your hand.

“loosen your grip, love.” azriel adjusted your hand, motioning for your fingers to relax and mold against him. you mimicked his movement, eliciting a low rumble out of the shadowsinger. the competitive part of you awakened, eager to make azriel groan like that again. you gazed up at azriel through your lashes with determination. “gods, don’t look at me like that y/n or this lesson will be over before it’s even started.”

heat erupted in your core, but you shook the desire away. this was about azriel. you wanted to make him come undone for once instead of the other way around. “show me, az.” you said. “i want to see how you touch yourself.”

“cauldron boil me,” azriel muttered under his breath. “you’re going to be the death of me, y/n.”

you watched as he gripped himself and pumped at a steady pace. he slowed down the movements for you and you studied each flick of his wrist as though you’d be tested on it later. as sinful as it was, there was something heavenly about watching azriel stroke himself. your hands itched to touch him. once you felt confident enough, azriel let you take over.

azriel’s eyes rolled back as you pumped his shaft, carefully watching the rise and fall of his chest. his heavy breathing filled the room and it quickly became your favorite sound in the world.

you felt a strange rush of power witnessing azriel in such a vulnerable state. his lids were heavy with lust, golden eyes barely visible from the ring of onyx swallowing up his irises. you thought he looked pretty like this, his head tilted back against your headboard while his lips parted to release a shallow breath every now and then.

"you have no idea how good that feels, love." azriel grunted. you tightened your grip, spreading the bead of precum over his tip. your little improvisation was met with a moan that seeped into your bones.

"how good, az?" you teased.

those long lashes of his kissed the tops of his cheeks as his eyes fluttered close. "fucking amazing," azriel declared. "keep going, love. don't stop, please. gods—"

"you can just call me y/n, you know."

azriel growled in response before pulling you in for a heated kiss. his hips thrust up to match your pace as his tongue parted your lips. he swallowed your moans, devouring you like his life depended on it.

“just like that, love.” azriel said in appreciation. “you’re doing such a good job, y/n.”

the praise affected you more than you thought it would. you were always seeking positive feedback when it came to your work, especially in training, but this was something else. it only encouraged you to keep going at a faster pace until azriel was coming undone in your hands. the sight of him losing control would forever be etched in your mind.

the more azriel gave, the more you craved. not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. the whole thing may have started as a practical way to tackle sex, but as time went on, it started to evolve into something else entirely.

until the lessons weren’t really just lessons anymore.

if you had to pinpoint the moment when everything changed, it would have been a few days after winter solstice. azriel had been away for a mission and was unable to make it home for the festivities. throughout the night, you kept finding yourself fidgeting and glancing at the empty seat beside you. at one point during dinner, cassian squeezed your hand and smiled sadly.

“i’m sure he misses you too, y/n.”

the gravity of those words hit you full force when you found azriel standing in the doorway of your flat. he was still dressed in his combat leathers and dark circles formed underneath his eyes as though he’d flown nonstop from wherever he was to get back home. before you could stop yourself, you rushed at him and nearly knocked him into the street from the force of your hug.

“i know, love.” azriel murmured softly into your hair. “i missed you, too.”

one bath and two cups of hot chocolate later, you found yourself curled up on the sofa as snow fell softly against the windowpane. you set your drink down on the table and turned to face azriel.

“so, i was thinking…”

the corner of azriel’s mouth quirked. “that’s never good.”

you tossed a pillow at him and rolled your eyes. “i was thinking that maybe it’s my turn to teach you a lesson, for once.”

the shadowsinger looked intrigued by that. “oh yeah? and what do you want to teach me, love?”

“i’m going to teach you how to sleep, az.” you pointedly stared at his bruised eyes, which only made him chuckle in amusement. “because judging from those bags underneath your eyes, you’re no expert in the matter.”

“i don’t get a say in this, do i?” shadows peered over his shoulders as though they too yearned for rest.

“nope,” you said cheerfully, dragging him off the couch and into your bedroom.

azriel let you bully him into getting underneath the covers. he tucked his wings to the side as he faced you. “what’s so great about this thing you call sleep, then? seems pretty boring to me.”

“well if you’d let me demonstrate,” you said impatiently before tugging him towards you. azriel chuckled and scooted closer. “i’ll have you know i’m a world class cuddler.”

“yeah? prove it then, love.” azriel teased.

the shadowsinger watched in amusement as you bossed him around. first you made him lie on his stomach and then pulled him to your chest. as much as he enjoyed teasing the absolute hell out of you, he couldn’t help but murmur in satisfaction as he rested his head in the crook of your neck. even his shadows seemed to enjoy bathing in your warmth and breathing in your jasmine shampoo.

“mmm,” az mumbled sleepily. for the first time in gods knew how long, he felt warm and safe and content. “you’re bossy as hell, but comfy too.”

“i know, you stubborn giant bat baby.”

the shadowsinger snorted. “giant bat baby?”

you rolled your eyes fondly. “shut up and cuddle, az.”

azriel burrowed himself further until his body heat warmed every inch of your skin. “that’s the good stuff,” he declared, brushing a soft kiss against your collarbone.

“told you i was good,” you said with a smile. azriel couldn’t even argue. with your hands massaging his scalp and your legs intertwined with his, the shadowsinger would’ve agree to anything you said.

“the best,” he hummed against your skin.

this was dangerous territory. with your other lessons, it was easy to shove aside your feelings because pleasure made it hard to think about anything else. but with azriel laying on your chest and clinging onto you like this meant something more…you could no longer avoid that pesky voice of doubt.

you were in love with azriel.

you had been for a long time.

shit.

“y/n?” azriel asked, cutting through the turmoil of your thoughts. his wings draped over the sides of your bed, relaxed and at ease.

“yeah?”

his golden eyes found yours in the dark. for a second, he stared at you like he was trying to commit every detail to memory. the shadowsinger opened his mouth like he was going to say something important, but he gave a tiny shake of his head and smiled.

“good night, love.”

in that moment, you knew azriel had your heart in the palm of his hand. “good night, az.”

azriel knew it was only a matter of time before these lessons came back to bite him on the ass.

he had been so eager that first night. mostly because he'd had a crush on you for so long and it was finally time to do something about it. the shadowsinger knew that he probably should've just told you how he felt, but he didn't want to shatter this delicate thing between you.

after all, these were just lessons. for all he knew, he was just your practice partner. it wasn't really all that different from sparring. except your weapons where your lips and your hands and your fucking smile that made his heart skip a beat every time you so much as grinned at him from across the room.

gods, he was so fucked.

the reality of it didn't fully hit him until that disastrous spring night.

the two of you had perfected third base eons ago. azriel knew how to make you cum with his mouth using a combination of expert tongue flicks and help from his shadows. nothing brought him joy like your shaking legs greedily wrapping around him as he ate your pussy like a man starved.

azriel thought he found the key to happiness until you returned the favor and went down on him.

finding restraint was hard. reeling his desire in while you knelt before him with your lips wrapped around his cock was nearly impossible.

"like this?" you asked, licking a stripe along the underside of his cock. azriel thought he was going to come right then and there when you looked up at him through your lashes, determination burning in your gaze.

you had always been intense. azriel knew that much from months of training together, but he didn't expect you to approach sex with the same competitiveness. you put your all into everything you did, which is what made azriel fall for you in the first place. he just didn't think you'd take the same approach when it came to sucking his dick. not that he was complaining.

in fact, all he could really do was moan.

the shadowsinger attempted to pull it together long enough to utter a coherent sentence. he had to at least attempt to say something helpful. you were putting your trust in him. he liked knowing that he'd been your first everything. now he just had to muster up the courage to tell you that he also intended to be the last.

he tried. he really did.

that night in his room. laying in bed with your legs tangled together. the soft spring breeze billowing through your curtains. azriel watched as you propped yourself up on your elbows and turned towards him.

"so, what now?" you asked.

azriel's brows furrowed with confusion. "what do you mean, love?"

you tilted your head, biting down on your bottom lip as you mulled over what to say next. it was one of your many little quirks that azriel adored. "i mean, what happens now? we've pretty much covered all the bases. except for one."

sex. you hadn't had sex yet. azriel knew this would come up sooner or later, but he had hoped it would be the latter. while it was easy to pretend that the lessons were just lessons to him, azriel couldn't do that with sex. it had always been hard for him to separate his feelings from the physical act and as much as he wanted to make sure that your first experience would be with someone who loved you, it wouldn't be fair to have sex without telling you the truth.

"i don't think that would be a good idea." as soon as the words left his mouth, azriel knew it was the wrong thing to say. he could tell that much from the look on your face. "i just mean, we shouldn't rush into anything."

"rush?" you asked incredulously. "azriel, we've spent the last three months doing anything and everything under the sun except sex."

"and it's been great," azriel said, trying to reel the conversation back in. "the lessons. trusting each other. but i just think you should take a step back and consider if you're truly ready."

that intense gaze he loved so much suddenly felt like the sweltering sun that azriel couldn't wait to shy away from. "you were my first kiss, az. my first everything. i think i've made it pretty clear on where i stand." you paused for a second, scanning his face. "oh my gods. i didn't even think to ask if you wanted this."

you were up before the absurdity of that statement could sink into azriel. if he wanted this? he'd never wanted anything more in his entire life.

"they were just lessons," you murmured to yourself while gathering your clothes. “how could i be so stupid?”

"y/n, please." azriel pleaded, not entirely believing what he was hearing. he nearly tripped over his own bedsheets as he followed you across the room.

“no, az. i’m sorry, i thought—“ your eyes brimmed with tears. the sight broke his fucking heart. “it’s not your fault. i just assumed—“

“that i’m in love with you?” azriel asked, gently gripping your wrists. you froze, wide eyes pinning azriel in place. “because i am, you know. i’ve been in love with you since the moment we met. this past few months, it’s killed me to pretend that whatever this is between us is just lessons.”

your gaze softened. “why didn’t you ever say anything?”

azriel chuckled bitterly. “because i’m a coward. i was scared that you might not feel the same way, so i settled for whatever scraps you were willing to give me.”

tears filled your eyes again and azriel was scared he’d fucked it up again, but you wiped your cheeks and cupped his face. “you deserve more than that, azriel.”

“i know, love.” he bowed his head. “and you deserve more than just lessons. that’s why i don’t want to have sex. not unless you know what this means to me. if we do this, there will be no one else. not today, not ever. i may be your first, but i also intend to be your last. if you’ll let me.”

a stray tear fell down your cheek, but it was a happy one this time. “if you haven’t noticed, i’m totally crazy about you, az. i think i’ve been in love with you longer than i wanted to admit.”

“can’t blame you,” the shadowsinger said. “i’m totally lovable.”

you smacked him in the chest, but azriel only laughed before he kissed you. really kissed you. it felt like you were floating on air.

gods, you loved him. you really did.

you smiled into the kiss. “i love you, az.”

the shadowsinger kissed the tip of your nose. “i love you too, y/n.”

“so…no more lessons, right?”

azriel shook his head and scooped you into his arms. “no more lessons. i want the real thing this time.”

[jamespottersdaisy]

Sweet Nothing

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more."

To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it.

based on a request

content- fluff, sickness, hurt/comfort?, established relationship.

3.2k

author's note- this is actually several blurbs put into one fic, no use of y/n, english is not my first language so beware <3

You feel a hand on your lower back, guiding you through the throng in the Quidditch Pitch to the castle. Raising your head, your eyes catch Remus's soft but rapt expression. His eyebrows are furrowed, his eyes opting for the best way to get you from the packed crowd with the least malaise.

You don't bother to speak; most probably, he won't hear you. Hell, you don't even hear your own thoughts in all this ruckus. However, you would always hear his calm and tender tone.

"This way, dove."

You let your body comply with his hand on your back.

"You guys are a menace," your disapproving timbre curls up his lips into a subtle smile, one that he tries to hide from you. "And I don't believe for a second that you had nothing to do with this."

He chuckles, his brown eyes catching yours for a moment. "I was with you the whole time, wasn't I?"

"They're not brilliant enough to think of a way of hexing the whole–" Your words are cut off when Remus pulls you to his right. You stumble from the sudden shove, feeling his tight grip on your arms.

You see a group of brooms whooshing from where you were standing only seconds before. "What are they doing?"

"Bastards," Remus mutters, agitated that they almost knocked you out.

"Your fault. You shouldn't have given them a reason to celebrate."

You know you are wrong; of course, the Gryffindor players would celebrate with or without the Marauder's prank on the opposite team. However, a little compunction wouldn't hurt. 

"It's not my fault that I'm a mastermind," Remus grins, pulling you closer by the waist. You can hear the cheerful shouts and music from afar, knowing that James is probably capering around, frisking on Sirius or Peter. 

"Should we go and celebrate with them?" you ask Remus, even though you despise the hubbub, everyone pushing and pulling others, stumbling to one another, hurting each other's toes. Who needs that? You can very well express your cheers in the common room celebrations. And Remus knows you well enough.

"No, we'll see them in the common room," he says, holding your hand tightly. "Are you hungry?"

"We just ate."

"Do you want snacks? I can get some from the kitchens if you do."

You chuckle at his tone, so soft but also pampering you. "Are you hungry? You certainly sound like you want something to eat."

"You?"

"Remus!" you elbow him, blush painting your cheeks. He laughs, a sound that manages to flutter chords in your heart no matter how many times you hear it. He brings your hand–which is entangled between his fingers– to his lips and places a tender peck on it.

"I'll bring you some chocolate from the kitchens."

That is how you know he craves chocolate.

"You two should break up."

"Come again?"

"I said, break up for a day, you're making Prongs sad," Sirius repeats shamelessly at you, going through a cookie bowl.

Remus is ambling down the stairs with a book in his hand. A book which he uses to smack Sirius on the head. He winces, scowling at your boyfriend.

"Prongs being sad is none of our business."

You let Remus sit on the sofa and put your head on his lap. Under a mere second, another hand, belonging to James, plunges into the bowl. 

"No matter what I do, Evans won't go out with me on Valentine's Day," he continues to inspect every cookie meticulously, looking for the right one. Your heart aches at the sight, and you decide that enough is enough. You snatch the bowl under his hand and lay back on Remus's lap with the cookies on your stomach. Remus smiles at the sight of you, his hand roaming through your hair.

"Stop sampling the cookies with your filthy fingers."

"They're my only comfort. Give them back," James attacks, ready to grab the bowl back, but Remus's hands stop him. He playfully swats James's hand away from the bowl. 

"She's eating them."

You grin at James, visibly smug about your boyfriend's demeanour. "I am eating them, Potter."

"You haven't touched them since Peter brought them from the kitchens."

"I will eat them, Potter."

You don't comprehend what happens next, or you simply don't remember. Maybe James groans and leaves your side, or Sirius starts teasing you again. Who knows? You just feel Remus's fingers tousling between strands of your hair. 

"What are you doing?" you whisper, a tiny smile adorning your lips.

"Braiding your hair," he drawls, his eyes glancing at your lips before averting back to your hair. 

"You know how to braid?"

Remus chuckles, shaking his head. "No, but I'm learning right now."

"By ruffling my hair?"

"I'm not ruffling, dove. I'm braiding."

"No, you're definitely ruffling. I can feel it."

"I'll comb them later tonight. Sounds good?" you smirk at his raised eyebrows, hearing your heart singing. Moments like this are what soothe your worries and take away the weight on your shoulders for that week. His quiet whispers and tender touch, adoring tone and smiling eyes always manage to find their path to your heart, warming it in an instant.

"Will you also bring me milk and kiss me goodnight?"

He smiles, bringing one hand to your chin. His thumb caresses the skin and journeys to your lips.

"If that's what you want."

You roll your eyes at him, taking his hand from your face in your hand. You start to fiddle with his fingers, oblivious of the beam in his countenance. You love playing with Remus's hand. They are larger than yours, as Remus enjoys pointing out with every chance he gets, but also so soft. 

Your eyes forcefully move from your intertwined hands to Remus's brown eyes. In a few seconds, your mind feels his finger resting under your chin. You gaze at him with confusion and affection as he leans in and puts his lips before yours. He doesn't kiss you, merely placing his lips inches away from yours. You know he is waiting for you. 

You smile for a moment, your warm breath hitting his lips. You know it puts him on the edge when you josh him, his breathing getting heavier, the black in his eyes widening.

But you relish it more than anything.

"Don't tease, dove," he whispers, and you can feel the anticipation in his tone.

You giggle, your smile growing against his, your fingers running through the hair on his neck. You don't torture him any more, crashing your lips to his. You let out an amused breath when you feel Remus return the kiss in a second, his hands wandering your body.

No matter how long you've been together or how many times he has kissed your lips, it is the same feeling every time. The burn in your core, the desire for more and the joy of his touch. You are too familiar with all these sensations, and yet you welcome them every time with a smile on your face.

"Get a room!"

You are familiar with Sirius's shriek, too.

Your throat burns with pain, your nose itching with an urge to sneeze, which never comes. You know for sure that you look terrible in your bed, with dishevelled hair, a red nose and swollen eyes. However, all this doesn't seem to phase Remus even a bit. 

"You're a mule."

He is annoyed and maybe slightly worried. His eyebrows are furrowed, and displeasure has gained a seat on his visage. He is staring at you with irritated eyes and a scowl beside your bed.

"And you're rude," you say, barely managing to raise your voice from a whisper. It's not your fault that your throat hurts when you talk.

"Dove, let's just go to Madam Pomfrey."

"For a cold?"

Remus groans, sitting next to you. He puts one hand on your right thigh before speaking again.

"You'll have a fever if you keep up like this."

"I'm fine, stop worrying," you say, even though you're happy that he does.

You're happy that he worries for you and cares for you. You're happy that he never leaves your side or your hand. You're happy that even though he rarely uses the words, he still manages to tell you he loves you with actions.

You don't need to hear it. You never need to hear it; Remus makes sure that you can feel it.

"You know I can't do that," he shakes his head, persistent with his efforts. "And you know I can't take care of you all by myself."

You chuckle at his words. For the last seven hours, he's been bringing you warm soup, making sure you're hydrated enough, and he hasn't let you stand up for even a second.

"You've done well so far," you smile despite the ache in your temples. "Remus, it's just cold. I'll be fine in the morning, especially with your pampering."

You don't see the point in visiting the hospital wing for a seasonal cold; it seems like overreacting. Remus, on the other hand, seems distraught seeing you in pain. He doesn't want to agree; you can see it on his face, but he agrees anyway. 

"It would help if you took a warm shower, you know."

You smile at him, knowing damn well that he wouldn't let you get on your feet without his help.

"Maybe."

Remus nods several times, immediately rising to his feet. "I'll run a shower for you."

You watch him sprint to the bathroom, and the next thing you hear is the water running. You are lucky that your roommates are not in your dorm room today. Or maybe you're unlucky that you got sick on Saturday.

You slowly start getting out of bed, your head throbbing. Remus comes back and helps you get to the bathroom. In reality, he merely follows you from place to place, as you're perfectly capable of walking. 

"You're acting like I'm a toddler," you laugh at his concern, which earns you a frown. 

"You are a toddler. Why else would you refuse to go to the hospital wing?"

"Because I'm fine," you grin, getting out of your clothes. Remus watches you, leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed. "If you're waiting for me to ask you to join me, I'm not gonna do that."

He smirks at your tone, pushing himself off the doorframe. "I'll be there if you need me."

He leaves you alone, and you let hot water embrace your bare skin. By the end of the shower, you feel lighter and better, happy that your headache has eased a bit.

Remus waits for you in the room, and you notice that he has brought you another soup. 

"How many times do I have to drink that?" 

"Enough times for you to get better," he pushes the blanket on top of you when you lay down on the bed. "Cooperate a bit."

He takes the soup bowl in his hand and lifts the spoon. You grimace at the steam rising from the spoon.

"I'd rather not drink–"

"Open wide, the train is coming," he pushes the spoon to your lips.

"Remus!" you pull your head backwards, laughing involuntarily. "It's hot!"

"You haven't even tasted it."

"I can see from the steam."

"Fine," he groans, huffing at the spoon. "It's good now, come on."

Now that you're out of the excuses, you comply with him. Still, you pull a face when your tongue meets with the soup, albeit it is delicious. 

"It can't be that disgusting, dove."

"It is," you lie when Remus offers you another spoon, a bit of liquid dripping from your lips to your chin. 

"Let me see," he says, and before you can deny it, his lips are already on yours. 

You let out a disapproving sound from deep in your throat, even though your stomach tingles at the feeling of Remus's soft lips on yours. He pulls back an inch, but still close enough for you to feel his warm breath. 

"It was delicious," he mocks. "Liar."

"You're gonna be sick, baby," you whisper, your lips smiling a bit. 

He kisses you again, this time quicker and shorter than before. "You'll take care of me."

And you will take care of him the next morning because he definitely will be sick.

You don't feel your legs, nor do you remember how you got to the castle yard. You're in a trance, unable to hear or feel anything as you stride to a distant tree that will provide you solidarity. Anything except the suffocating weight in your lungs and the burning urge in your throat. You want to cry. You want to drop to your knees and wail, letting tears pour down your eyes, allowing the agony to leave your heart with your every cry.

But you don't cry.

You don't cry until you know you are alone. You don't cry until you are sure that no one can see you, no one can hear you. You don't cry until you are sure that you are out of everyone's sight who will pity you if they see your tears.

It feels too much. You feel too much. You feel too much, but you don't feel enough. You never feel enough. 

You run, but you never flee. You swim, but you drown. You smile, but you cry.

The moment you see the tree, your legs give in. You fall to the ground, a cry leaving your lips. You don't scream, you don't wail. You simply welcome the tears as you sit on the ground, pulling your knees to yourself.

Your mind echoes each and every word that pulls you too deep into the ocean.

"I expected more from you."

You thought you did enough.

"It's your fault."

You thought you did the right thing.

"You'll do better next time."

You thought you did better this time.

You hear your pained sob, pitying yourself. Your nails dig into your skin hard enough to leave a mark. You want to leave a mark. You want to feel something, something other than the pain burning inside your chest. 

"Dove?"

You whine at your lover's voice, so soft and tender, afraid to startle you. You don't question how he has found you. Somehow he always does.

"Go away, Remus," your tone sounds weaker than you expect, full of agony and desperation. You don't look at his face; you don't look anywhere but your hands. 

You don't want him to see your red eyes, tear-stained face and shaking hands. You don't want him to hear your heavy sobs and breathless cries. You don't want him to pity you.

"No," he sits next to you, still a bit hesitant to touch you. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Go away," you cry, "please."

"I am not going anywhere, dove," he shakes his head, his eyes glancing at your hands. He knows it may backfire, and he knows you may draw up your walls even higher, but he takes the risk. He puts his hand on yours, parting your nails from your skin. 

You scrunch up your face when he kisses the skin where your nails dig deep, ready to burst into tears once more. You lower your head, refusing to let him see your pain. 

He doesn't let you. 

"Talk to me," he pleads, holding your hand close to him. "I hate seeing you cry."

Of course, he does, you think. Why would anyone want to put up with your bawling? Why would anyone want to put up with you?

You can feel the hatred poisoning your veins, darkening the light in your heart. You know this hatred, this darkness. You know who it is aimed at. You are too familiar with its burn. You know it is going to mock your weakness and insult your very being because you know you feel that hatred for none other than yourself.

When you talk, you want to drown your voice just to never hear it again.

"I'm sorry."

You don't see Remus's confused face. You don't feel his bafflement. You only hear his loving pitying tone.

"For what?" he asks and doesn't wait for your reply. "Dove, come here."

You despise your body for betraying your mind. You abhor your heart for betraying your will. You hate your frailty when it comes to Remus.

You let him hold you close to his chest, sobbing into his touch. His hands caress your hair, his lips leaving kisses on your temple as comfort. Your body trembles under his affection, the tears staining his shirt. 

"It's alright. You're alright," his tone hugs the scarred part of your soul. "I'm here."

"I'm sorry, Remus, I'm sorry–"

"What for, dove? You have nothing to be sorry about," he cuts you off, feeling that you're spiralling. "Tell me what's wrong. Tell me, we'll fix it together, yeah?"

You shake your head, clinging closer to his chest. This is the part you hate most. The part where the words line up against your tongue but don't know how to get out. Your feelings mock you, and you're afraid that if you talk, he will mock you, too.

Remus knows you. He has learned you well enough to know that you are struggling. He strokes your back, encouraging you to speak. 

"Come on, dove. You'll feel better," he kisses your hair.

"No, I- It's not.." you mumble something between your sobs, and Remus tries so hard to understand you. He waits, patiently giving you the time you need to organise your thoughts, all while embracing you tightly. 

"It's alright. Take your time."

You inhale a deep but shaky breath, your chest trembling from all the hiccups. You wish to speak, to share your pain with your lover, but it's just too heavy. So heavy that letters are like a burden to your tongue. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you don't know you're crying again until you feel teardrops on your hand. "I can't. This is it. This is all I got. It's not enough, I'm not enough."

"Hey, hey, hey," Remus pulls away, taking your face in his hands. "You're more than enough."

"No, no, I-I can't…I can't do better. I need to do better, I have to do better–"

Remus doesn't understand what you're talking about; your words don't make sense to him. All he knows is that your every tear is like a knife to his heart, your every sob is like a hit in the gut, and your every word is like a storm hitting his mind.

"You don't have to do anything. You're doing enough," he says, his heart clenching in pain at the sight of you. "Listen to me."

He puts his forehead on yours, closing his eyes. "Listen to me, dove."

He waits for you. He waits until your breathing calms down, your tears slow down, and your body stops shaking. You close your eyes, inhaling his scent.

"You're enough for me," he whispers, his hands still caressing your body. "I love you, and you're enough for me."

You feel the burn in your chest at ease, the burden in your tongue walking away. You feel your tears come to a halt, your soul finding comfort in his words. 

"I love you, too," you whisper back. 

"Then talk to me, and let me help you."

So, you talk. You tell him every word in your mind, every pain in your heart and every burden in your soul. You know he can't possibly solve all your problems or take away all your pain, but what he can do is always let you know he loves you, whether with his words or his actions.

I love Remus, I wish men were real.

Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think!

and if you please, buy me a coffee <333

[ddejavvu]

this might be a weird ask but what abt a short blurb where a younger reader is getting flirted with by an older man at the Hard Deck and Jake who's been trying to get with her for ages comes in to "save the day and get rid of the creep" but turns out that the older man is actually her husband and non other than ssa aaron hotchner

sorry if it's kinda weird I just thought it was funny😭😭

THIS IS SO SILLY AND FUNNY AND GOOD THANK YOU <3333

--

Jake Seresin is undeniably cocky, but he doesn't often go too far. He's snapped once or twice, but comes away from it a changed man, and stays on the lookout for any ways he can redeem himself.

Having pushed once or twice a little too hard over the counter of a bar, he's been on the prowl ever since for men who haven't picked up the same knowledge as him. The Hard Deck is a perfect place to exercise his keen observational skills, and there's an older man sitting at the counter whos been there for almost an hour.

Usually patrons mingle, but his ass has been on the stool for far too long, his eyes glued to your figure as you work. He's not exactly confused by the man's infatuation with you, as he shares the same feeling, but you keep having to cut off whatever he's saying to serve someone another drink, and Jake thinks that by now, this middle aged douche should have figured out that now isn't the time to chat.

You're clearly strained trying to keep up with both your job and conversation, and the next time someone cuts in to ask you for a beer, Jake sees your eyes pinch shut in frustration. You turn around as happy as can be, always cheery for customer service, but your shoulder sag when you complete the man's request, and the man at the counter doesn't give you two seconds to recover before he's blabbering on again.

Jake's made up his mind.

He strides to the counter in long, confident steps, leaning over opposite the man to call for your attention.

"Y/N, darlin'?"

You cast a tense glance over your shoulder, features relaxing when you see Jake, "Hang on, Lieutenant."

You seem relieved when you turn to face him, a tired smile on your face and his usual order already in your hand, "A refill?"

"That'll do," He grins, that charming expression that he's hoping is wooing the pants off of you, "Hey, honey," He leans in slightly, lowering his voice so that the man subtly observing you two from behind doesn't hear him, "That guy talkin' your ear off?"

A sly grin flits over your face, "It's okay, Hangman. I'll let him."

"You don't have to." Jake presses, eyes clouded with worry, 'If you're trying to make a tip off of him or something, I'm sure it's not worth hearing about what bars were like back in his day. Hell, I'll pay you to let me chuck him out."

"I promise you!" You laugh, "I'm okay, Jake. Thank you for worrying about me."

"M'always gonna," He admits, face gently curved in a frown as you lean back, no longer whispering in hushed tones, "Just let me know if you need me, darlin'."

"Will do," You grin, "But Jake? Tone down the pet names around my husband, would you? I don't want him getting jealous."

Jake blinks.

Jake blinks again.

Then casts his gaze over your shoulder at the older man, who's sitting there nursing his drink with a poorly concealed smirk, his eyes downcast to avoid Jake's.

"That guy's your husband?" Jake verifies, heat at his cheeks and stomach at his feet, "You're married?"

"I don't wear my ring 'cause it gets nasty in the dishwater," You lament, "'Thought you knew, Jake."

"I did not know." Jake nods slowly, gnawing at the inside of his cheek, "Well- uh, alrighty then. Get back to your little chit-chat."

"Thank you for the offer," You call after him as he pushes off of the counter, even if your words fall on deaf, mortified ears, "I really appreciate it!"

"Sorry, Aaron," You grin bashfully at your husband, turning back to take his large hands into yours, "He's like that with everyone. Real sweet guy, just a little forward. He thought you were bothering me."

"It's okay," Aaron hums, leaning across the bar to kiss you, something you normally wouldn't allow during your shift.

"I liked it more than I thought I would," Aaron muses, and you ghost your thumb over the wedding band on his ring finger, "Hearing you tell him I was your husband."

"I don't think he liked it," You nearly cringe at the memory, "Hopefully things aren't awkward."

"Mm, they might be." Aaron chuckles, locking eyes with a dark-haired woman who looks a little bit like she might want to kill him, "I think he told his friends."

[girls-alias]

Tattoo - Dean Winchester

Title: Tattoo - Dean Winchester Words: 2,305 Relations: Dean Winchester X reader. TW: Strong language, slight nudity, sexual hinting.

[Why does the right gif look like it's reacting to the first 😂]

I sighed slamming the anti-possession tattoo design on the artist's table. "This is what I want," I explained simply. The artist looked it over once, a quick glance before scoffing and shaking his head. I sucked my teeth, annoyed instantly by his reaction.

"I'm not doing that, it's demon shit," He slid the design off the table, it falling slowly onto the floor. I glared at him knowing for a fact I would not be the one to pick that up.

"It's actually the opposite it's to protect me from demon shit. So, either pick up the design and get started or pick up the design and wish me a great day," I instructed, my tone forceful as I rested my hands on the table between us. He gave me his full attention. "Either way, you're picking it up," I added. He scoffed looking at me like I was stupid.

"Bitch, if you-" He didn't have time to finish his sentence as I slammed his head into the table. He jumped backwards, holding his busted nose. Looking at me terrified. I was angry beyond reproach.

"Call me a bitch again and I'll pull your teeth out so the next time you say it, it's sounds like your saying bench," I threatened. "Get up. Walk around this table. Pick it up." I said simply, emphasising my anger as I maintained eye contact. He hesitated to get up, cowering as he got closer to me. I stared him down even though he was taller than me, he bent down, using one knee to get low as he grabbed the design. He went to stand but I grabbed the shoulder of his shirt, stopping him from standing but looking up at me scared. I smirked. "Wasn't so hard, was it?" I asked menacingly with a smirk. He shook his head slowly like he was afraid to upset me. I smirked wider. "Now wish me a great day," I instructed, looking at him expectantly.

"I hope you have a really great day, sorry I couldn't help," He quickly spoke. I smiled politely, innocently.

"Thanks, you too," I added cheerfully before grabbing my design and walking out.

I had gone to 5 different tattoo studios, all getting denied and I was growing impatient and reckless. My anger rose before a plan formed in my mind. I smirked knowing it was genius.

Dean's POV:

Y/N had been gone all day. I know she was getting her tattoo but it shouldn't be this long. She's been gone since I woke up till now, I rechecked my watch growing anxious. I should have gone with her. I know she didn't want me to because 'she's an independent woman who doesn't need a man to hold her hand' or at least that's what she tells me every time I suggest protection on a hunt or company for certain things. She is the most stubborn woman I know, and I've met plenty of stubborn women. She only decided to stay at the bunker with us for a few weeks because she wanted a break from motels.

"Will you stop tapping your foot?" Sam asked annoyed as he looked up from his book.

"Where is she? She should have been back hours ago," I rambled, anxiously checking my watch again. 9PM. Where is she? I wonder if she was snatched? Is she okay?

"Dean, will you calm down? She's probably just gotten distracted." He tried but I scoffed.

"What if she's been abducted and we're just sat here?" I asked but Sam laughed, holding his finger in the book to keep his place as he lowered it to give me his full attention.

"We are talking about the same Y/N, right? She's been abducted, starved for months, tortured and still escaped. We did nothing to help, she just called us for a ride like nothing happened," He explained but I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, but that was before she moved in," I tried but Sam looked at me confused.

"She hasn't moved it, she wanted a break and came here. You must be head over heels in love if you think she's staying," He chuckled, going back to his book but noticing my silence. I wanted to deny it but my mouth didn't work. He looked up from the book, studying me a second before slamming the book down not caring about keeping the page anymore. "You're in love with Y/N?!" He practically shouted but I rolled my eyes, getting up to leave. He didn't take the hint that I was leaving because of him so followed me. "I knew you wanted to fuck her but I didn't realise you were in love," He continued. I groaned, walking down the hall aimlessly.

"I'm not in love with her," I tried but even I could tell my tone showed how bad I was lying.

"You are, oh my God. You have to tell her before she leaves." He cheered but I rolled my eyes. I stopped in my tracks, facing him looking annoyed.

"She tells us every day that she doesn't need a man to hold her hand, she'd laugh in my face if I told her," I sighed, finally giving in because this topic has been clouding my judgment for months. Ever since she wore a dress to a hunt and still looked badass I knew I wanted more than sex, when Lucifer himself threatened her and she practically scared him off I knew it was love. Ever since I have grown to love her more, even small things I wouldn't normally notice became my fixation. Like how she mouths the words when she reads slightly or bites down on her nail when she's thinking. All of it made me fall deeper in love with her. Yet she shows no interest in me.

"She doesn't need a man to hold her hand but she might want one," Sam tried but I scoffed.

"We've known her for over a year, I've never once seen her hint at even sex never mind a relationship," I explained. Sam went to dismiss my comment but stopped to look at me confused. He heard it too. I turned around, there's something here. It sounded like something metal clinking against marble. Confused I walked down the hall. Maybe she's back, hopefully, she didn't hear our conversation.

I approached Y/N's door as Sam stood close behind me, I pushed the door open. I froze as I noticed Y/N on her knees in front of the fire shirtless. She had a maroon bra on and hadn't noticed us. I watched mesmerised and perplexed by what she was doing. My jaw dropped as she pulled an iron stake from the fire and pressed it to her chest over her heart. I wanted to rush in and stop her but I was stunned as rather than scream she dropped her head back and groaned. It was borderline pornographic and would definitely infect my mind many times in the future. Sam grabbed my shoulder but didn't move, it pulled me back to reality, I glanced at him seeing his jaw drop open and concern written all over his face. I looked back at her, eyes wide as she moaned again, pushing the stake a little harder before pulling it away. My mouth dried as I watched the scene.

"I love you," She looked up at us, completely unfazed. You wouldn't think she branded herself just seconds before. She looked at me confused and it hit me that I said it out loud. She put the stake down with a smile, chuckling softly before she stood up, not bothered by her shirtless figure as she faced me. I knew Sam would be looking away but my eyes wouldn't let me. My God!

"Good to know," She said slightly confused. I sighed realising she probably thinks I'm a creep. I mean, I am. She's standing shirtless, in a maroon bra but brand new burn above her heart I should be concerned about but I can't take my eyes off her chest. My God. I've never been a tits man but for her, I'm an everything man.

"What did you do?" Sam asked. I finally pulled my eyes away as I glanced at him, he turned away to look up the hall. He has more willpower than I do.

"No one would give me the tattoo so I branded myself," She explained as if it was no big deal. I looked at her concerned, slightly worried and turned on. I fall deeper in love.

"Why wouldn't you just go somewhere else?" Sam asked but she rolled her eyes and walked away to grab a cardigan, tying it around herself loosely so the fabric didn't touch her burn but covered herself. I frowned slightly. I finally looked at the burn. I rushed forward moving the cardigan slowly to see it fully.

"What the fuck, you actually did it," I exclaimed as I looked at the red skin surrounding the black burn. A perfect print of the anti-possession tattoo that matched Sam and I's.

"Well, yeah," She chuckled as if it were obvious. We saw her do it, I wouldn't doubt she would have if she'd told me beforehand but anyone else would be too scared. Not Y/N, not perfect Y/N. Sam followed me in, looking at it closely. We shared a look before I stepped back. She laughed as she shrugged. "It's not a big deal," She shrugged moving away to grab her glass from the top of the drawers. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Did it not hurt?" I asked, my concern showing in my tone. She chuckled.

"I've felt worse," She shrugged taking a sip of her drink. God, I really do love her.

"I'm going to get the first aid kit. No more branding while I'm gone," Sam warned but she chuckled as he walked out.

"Aw, but I had a tramp stamp made too," She joked but looked at me with an innocent smile. "I actually have another one if you want to do it for me?" She asked but I looked at her like she was crazy. She rolled her eyes, moving to kneel in front of the fire again.

"What? No!" I exclaimed, grabbing her shoulder to try and move her away.

"Ow," She exclaimed, I quickly pulled my hands away, thinking I pressed on her burn. I knew I fell for her trick when she quickly grabbed another stake that was heating in the fire, pulled the tie on her cardigan and pushed it into her skin above her right hip. I gasped, readying for her to scream but she groaned again. Standing above her and looking down on the scene only made it hotter. My God. I turned away knowing I would soon be erect if I didn't try to clear my mind.

"What are you doing?" Sam exclaimed from the door, quickly rushing in, he grabbed the stake, burning his hand slightly as he dropped it to the floor. She rolled her eyes with a theatrical groan.

"You're so boring, Dean didn't mind," She played but I quickly protested.

"I tried to stop her," I held my hands up in defence as Sam looked at me shocked. Sam shook his head, turning his eyes to the first aid kit he brought in with him. Y/N seemed to smirk.

"I can patch myself up," She groaned but Sam shook his head, avoiding looking at her.

"No, I'm putting my foot down." He insisted. I watched, amazed he stood up to her. I wouldn't even do that even if I had a death wish.

"You can't even look at me," She chuckled. Sam looked her in the eyes for a second before looking away not wanting to gawk at her. She laughed, sitting back so she could move her legs from under her.

"I'll do it," I chimed in. I regret it instantly. She looked at me, her eyebrows showing she was shocked but her clenched jaw and eyes told me she wasn't happy. I shouldn't have said anything, she'll kill me and I'd thank her while she did it. She dominates me with just eye contact how am I going to put my foot down to her?

I took Sam's place in front of her, I avoided her eyes as I knew if I looked into them I would lose the nerve. Sam walked out as she took the cardigan off. I used all my focus to look at the branding and not her boobs. I saw her smirking in my peripheral vision.

"So, you love me?" She asked, teasing in her tone. I gulped. I need to grow a backbone, she has too much control over me. Now that I'm putting my foot down to her, it's the perfect time.

"So what if I do?" I asked, focusing on her anti-possession brand as I began cleaning it. She didn't even flinch when the alcohol touched her burns, she just moaned. I felt my blood rushing to where I didn't want it. I focused on my actions hoping I had enough control to get through this.

"I just think that's a weird thing to say after watching someone brand themself," She commented with a slight shrug. I glanced at her lips as she bit down. My breath hitched, and I fixed my eyes on the brand.

"Maybe that's my kink," I tempted but she smirked.

"It is now," She smirked. I gulped, finally looking at her face to see she was looking flirtatious. A look I had never seen her make before. I smirked.

"To rights," I confirmed. She smiled as she rested back on her hands letting me clean her without argument. This was the best thing that could have happened!!!!

Masterlist

[au-wannabe-the-very-best]

Unrealistic OOC daydream that I'm sharing just because it's funny:

---

"I need to be very clear with you Melli," Ingo says, folding up his coat and handing it to the other warden. "I'm not leaving my possessions in your hands."

Ingo places his hat atop the folded coat now resting in Melli's arms.

"Quite the opposite, actually. Your life is now in my hands."

Melli whips his head up, startled.

"Huh?!"

Ingo leans back, his spine cracking as he straightens up.

"I said," Ingo repeats, voice lower but no less loud, "Your life is in my hands. If you happen to fail to protect your current cargo? Start praying."

---

lmao I was imagining Ingo as Zekrom and thought "well if he's Zekrom and he helps out Akari, he might just decide to quell Lord Electrode himself. Oh but what about his coat and hat?" And then this scene just sorta popped up. I can't imagine regular Ingo to say or act like this but Legendary Pokémon Ingo I think should be threatening. You know, as a treat. 🥰

[equizona]

May I request a BEN, E.J and Toby with a teen!shy!reader? (Platonic ofc) one where they are like an older brother to them. Plus point if reader is a savage at very random times

— BEING AN OLDER BROTHER FIGURE FOR SOMEONE SHY

this has taken me a while because I'm either really busy or just too tired to write. I'm so sorry 😭 Since you're anonymous, you won't see that I answered I think but I hope you find it anyway <3 Anyway it's been a while for my pookies so it felt a lil' stiff.. but oh well

BEN DROWNED , EYELESS JACK , TICCI TOBY

PLATONIC !

BEN DROWNED

You're unlikely to get along at first, not that you dislike each other, but Ben is more on the introverted side and if you're not the type to initiate conversation it probably took a while for you both to get along.

He's the type of person who tries to make you get out of your shell, especially around him, so when you're closer, he'll definitely try to egg you into being more rude towards him. He thinks it's funny, but he will give back as good as he gets.

You'll probably end up with a more stereotypical relationship where he'll bully you and then threaten bodily harm to anyone else who does! Not necessarily protective, but he's spent too long trying to get you out of your shell around him to let someone ruin it.

Will definitely convince you to pull pranks on anyone else around you, and if it's towards anyone you both know, he'll immediately throw you under the bus with no hesitation. Not that they believe him, in any case.

EYELESS JACK

He's basically Ben's opposite; but he's also someone who you won't speak with at first either since he's kind of introverted as well. But he's essentially the type of person who'll just take the blunt of any social interaction for you, anyway.

Probably doesn't help you come out of your shell, expect maybe with him, but it's the thought that counts?

He's also way more protective, so he develops a tendency to follow you around to make sure he's there in case anyone or anything makes you uncomfortable, so that he can make sure to get you out of the situation. Very sweet!

He'll be more disapproving if you say anything. He doesn't think "someone like you" should be saying things like that and will likely just scold you for acting that way.

TICCI TOBY

He does help you get out of your shell more, but.. not the way you might expect it. He's used to being the younger one, y'know? So he'll likely unconsciously push you into situations where you're kinda forced to talk with others.

He feels bad about it sometimes though, if you notices that you're actually uncomfortable and since he's more social than the others he's also quick to take control of the situation if he does notice.

Absolutely menace if you start acting rudely or anything, if you say one even slightly rude thing he is running with it. You go low and he'll go lower, so you'll probably learn not to say things to him 'cause he gives worse than he gets. Loves bullying others with you though!

It's a weird relationship where he'll either act like a spoiled younger brother or a protective older brother depending on the day or minute.

[luna-rainbow]

Do you think Bucky ever got any sleep during all his years of Hydra captivity? Or was it just wipe/kill/back in the freezer? I don't think cryostasis would be anything like normal restorative REM sleep.

Hello nonnie!! I have finally had a light-bulb moment for this ask (I'm sorry it's taken me like 7 months)

I've been going about it the wrong way, trying to research on sleep, when in actuality what I should have been researching is the brain under hypothermia. This is an observational study conducted in the 1980s looking at children undergoing induced hypothermia (lowering of body temperature) during cardiopulmonary bypass (sometimes required during major surgery). In summary, by the time the body temperature cooled to 18 degrees, all brain activity ceased. Sleep - consisting of non-REM and particularly REM - are associated with far more active brain waves. So nonnie, you are very correct in saying that Bucky, even with his super soldier abilities, unlikely ever got any "sleep" during cryostasis. (I'm sorry to all the ficcers that wrote Bucky dreaming during cryo but I think most people are happy to ignore this piece of science)

In terms of whether Bucky ever got "sleep", I think that is hard to say. Even normal soldiers might drive themselves to go without sleep for 36+ hours if required for a mission (heck, even hospital shifts go for 36 hours in some places). As a super soldier, Bucky might tolerate sleep deprivation for longer. This means missions like taking out the Starks - travelling from Russian and back - he might achieve in one sitting without sleeping in between (although I guess no one can stop him from dozing off on the plane).

I think one implied part of your question is "is it likely that Bucky was allowed out of the freezer for long enough periods at a time to need (and get) sleep"? I feel like that is unlikely, judging from the "he's been out of cryo for too long" line from CATWS. The timeline goes: day 1 Bucky makes assassination attempts daytime + night time against Fury / day 2 Steve makes a run down to Jersey arriving there at night / day 3 Bucky attacks Steve on the causeway and then we get the nighttime vault scene where Bucky is "unstable". Even if we add a day or two prior to allow for prepping, that still means Bucky becomes "unstable" and questions his identity within a bare week of being out of cryo.

Credit @lost-shoe (this post)

Now onto the angst...we know anaesthetics is not like restful sleep, so theoretically neither is cryostasis. While the science of cryostasis doesn't exist at the moment, we know from artificial hypothermia in surgical situations that it puts incredible stress on the body and all its organs. Looking at the laboratory derangements during hypothermia it looks like it pushes the body over to anaerobic metabolism and causes lactate to go up. You know when you go for a run and your muscles cramp up because you haven't warmed up enough? That's because your muscles have produced too much lactate from anaerobic metabolism. So...no wonder Bucky can't stand when he comes out of the cryo chamber. It also increases one's bleeding risk and reduces one's healing speed, so take of that what you will for your Whumptober prompts 😂

I also wonder whether, because the brain is not receiving any REM sleep during cryo, it means Bucky has been in a constant state of sleep deprivation for the last 70 years. The theory of "prefrontal vulnerability" in sleep deprivation proposes that functions like language, executive functions, divergent thinking, and creativity are particularly affected, so that can contribute to Bucky's inability to process/produce complex language and his slowness when it comes to working through complex problems. It also has significant effect on memory and attention: it's interesting to note that during sleep deprivation of more than 35 hours, they found that while free recall was affected, recognition was not. (Disclaimer for science: small sample size, opposite result for subjects with sleep deprivation ~24 h).

So yeah, I think there are practical reasons why Hydra would not allow Bucky to have restorative sleep between missions. Consolidation of long term memory (i.e. transferring them from short term storage into long term storage) usually happens during sleep which means it is quite likely Bucky remembers only broken bits of his time (if at all) in the last 7 decades.

[lvlystars]

funny valentine — l.c

pairing. lee chan x fem!reader

genre. angst, toxic!chan 😞

warnings. slight suggestive content. chan is a bitch. big nono man.

wc. 1.1k

a/n. y'all. i'm alive. based on true events btw, i've been declared not guilty, my lawyer hates me, and the man is now screaming at me from the grave 😇. jkjk. it would be crazy if i actually was convicted of murder tho. anyways, if i can't be happy on valentines, no one can !!!!!!!

feburary 14 (3:14 am)

— u up?

you scramble for your phone as your heart beats out of your chest, the mindless scrolling through your 'for you' page ending in that moment he texted you.

what is he doing at this ungodly hour? why was he texting you?

yeah —

— coming over in 5

no. he can't come. he just can't.

you try to text back to refuse, but he had already gone offline. you sigh as you sink into your mattress, turning off your phone as you wait for him to appear at your doorstep.

lee chan. the bane of your existence if you were to summarise your experience with him. on and off relationships, meaningless hookups, unanswered texts about what you two were, what label to put on your relationship — he was the red flag package deal. and yet, somehow, you couldn’t bring yourself to actually cut things off with him. while he was all of the above, he made you feel loved, made you feel special with the way every single moment spent with him were the most exhilarating and euphoric moments, chan making sure to hug and kiss every inch of your body while he can, and handling your body with such care, as if you would crumble beneath his fingertips.

lee chan was playing you, and he was good at it.

a couple minutes later, you heard a knock at your door, and you immediately jolt up, your heart palpitating as you pull the covers off of you. once you finally reach the door, you pull it open to see chan leaning against the frame of your door, smirking down at you.

“i knew you’d answer me.” he pats your cheek softly before walking into your dorm uninvited.

“chan-”

“did you rearrange your place? shame, i finally had your dorm layout memorised so i wouldn’t bump into anything while we-”

“chan.” you sternly raise your voice, catching him off guard. he stares back at you, his eyebrow quirked up as he stood there, his hands shoved in his jeans.

“i…i don’t think we should do this anymore.” you stare into chan’s face, your face burning as chan’s eyes bore into yours, his expression morphing into one of slight confusion, a glint of enjoyment flitting across his features as he stalks towards you.

“baby, you're not serious, right? why would you want to let go of this…us?” he moves closer to you, holding you as he soothingly rubs your forearms. you shake your head, trying to squirm out of his grasp as his face lowers down to yours. “you’re my favourite, don’t you know that?” he mutters.

“no.” you push him away, your breathing growing more panicked. “chan, you and i both want completely different things. we are on opposite sides. this isn’t going to work out.” your voice trembles as you move towards your door, feeling cornered as chan continues to move closer to you. he towers over you as you shrink into yourself, feeling completely powerless and helpless.

“but i give you those things you desire, no? and you give me what i want." he tilts his head in mock confusion.

"y/n, honey, we’re two sides on the same coin. we need each other, why would you think something like that?” you can sense the tinge of hostility and toxicity behind his tone as he narrows his eyes at you, reaching his hand out to caress your face. you subconsciously lean into his touch, tears pooling in your eyes as you try to say anything to get out of this monstrosity of a situationship.

“then…then what are we? we’re not dating, you’re not my boyfriend…you hook up with tens of other girls on campus. i want someone who’ll stay loyal to me.” you sputter out, trying to compose yourself to your best ability as chan just laughs lightly, as if you were just stating a silly habit he had.

“we…we’re…we’re, y’know…” you look at him expectantly as chan looks slightly irritated at your persistence, huffing slightly.

“baby, look-”

“no. i don’t want to hear it. i’m tired of the mixed signals. if you’re not going to commit to a relationship, then don’t talk to me.” you cut him off, glaring up at him. you can see chan poking at his cheek with his tongue before he grabs you tightly by your shoulders, catching you off guard as he lowers his face down to yours, glaring at you.

“what, you think you’re special? special enough to have me as your boyfriend?” he mockingly laughs. ���honey, there are tons of girls who are dying out there to just have sex with me, and you’re really going to leave all that just because you want to be in a relationship?” chan asks in a condescending manner, and you feel your heart drop to the pit in your stomach. you’ve only seen him get like this whenever he didn’t get his way with other people: his brown eyes filled with belittlement, as if you were a mere inconvenience in his way. his breathing was slowly getting erratic, he’s losing his patience.

lee chan was getting mad at you.

“i don’t know you, i don’t care whether i know you or not. i just saw you on campus, thought you were hot, and just had you to myself, just like other girls. i didn’t talk to you because i liked you.” he sneers, looking you up and down. tears pooled in your eyes as you stared up at chan in disbelief. “you and i do not have any kind of romantic relationship, i’ll tell you that. you want a label on this? fine: we’re just fuckbuddies. nothing more, nothing less.”

“if you’re gonna try crossing the line with all that relationship shit again, then i’m gonna have to just stop what we have, y/n. because i don’t want some brat that bitches about having me to themselves, got it?” he glowers at you. his face was now mere inches away from yours as tears were rolling down your face. you slowly nod before chan stands up straight again, patting your face again as he smiles.

“good girl. now i came here for a reason, ” chan sits down on your bed, smirking at you across the room as you’re still in the corner of the room, hastily wiping your tears before walking over to him. once you’re close enough, he grabs your waist tenderly as he rubs soft circles into your skin, grinning like a wolf while he looks your body up and down, making you feel exposed.

your face grows hot as seconds continue to tick by, and you’re taken aback as chan suddenly stands up, flipping you both around and throwing you onto the bed before he leans over you, leaning down beside your ear as you felt chills run down your body. your heart shatters even more when he whispers:

“happy valentines day, baby.”

tags 🏷️ —

@welcometomyoasis @wqnwoos @etherealyoungk @amxlia-stars @seuonji @star1117-archives @haowrld @kyeomyun @jaehunnyy @shieunviya @choicesthot @shaminari @georgia-hong

networks 🔗 —

@preciousillusions-net @cacaokpop-fics @caratsland @k-labels

SVT WORKS

tumblr works on reblogging, so please make sure to reblog this fic if you enjoyed it ! <3

comment or send me an ask if you want to be added to my taglist!

ⓒ lvlystars

[melanieph321]

Dominik Szoboszlai x Black Reader - First Sight Part 3/8

The party

The face of distress 😅. What did Y/N say to him?

⚠️Warning ⚠️

18+

This story is about the night reader met her boyfriend Dominik and the series of crazy events that led up to the beginning of their love story.

Enjoy!

"So...do you have a boyfriend?"

You had been walking for a while, through the city, all the way downtown. As you were about to ask Dominik if this was him kidnapping you, those words left his mouth.

"A boyfriend?" You smiled.

"Yes, do you want one?"

"I thought you asked me if I had one?"

"You took too long to answer, which means you don't."

"Wow." You laughed. His arrogance was unmatched.

"Yeah, so we should just stop pretending like we don't want to fuck each other and just do it."

Your steps altered, followed by a sassy finger waving in his face to make things clear. "Trust me Nikki..." He cringed at your new nickname for him. "I have no intentions to fuck you."

He chuckled. "Not now you don't. Later."

You snorted. "In your dreams."

"That was you, wasn't it?"

You rolled your eyes and turned your back on him, walking in the opposite direction.

"Oh come on, Y/N! Don't tell me that you can't take a joke?"

Perhaps it was a joke, but your feet were starting to hurt from all that walking.

"Come on Y/N, I was just...." He ran to catch up with you, grabbing your arm to prevent you from leaving. You jerked it away, an appalled expression on your face.

"Sorry." He said, face faltering.

The evening was quiet, a distant thud heard from one of the brick buildings down the road.

"I should go back." You said, only now thinking about Tara and how you left her in some random apartment with two guys.

"What about the beer?" Dominik said, clearly not wanting the night to end. "My friend, he lives just down the road. I promise we'll be quick."

His offer wasn't as compelling to you as turning back to get Tara, however, that damn spark...

Turns out that the loud thud you heard coming from down the road was actually the base of a speaker, blasting nothing but French trap music.

"Ibrahima!"

"Szobo!"

Dominik did not hesitate to knock on the house hosting a crowded party. Apperently it belonged to his friend that was meant to hook you up with more beer.

"And I see you brought a friend." The guy called Ibrahima said. He had a friendly smile and wanted nothing than for the two of you to join the party.

The vibe was unmatched. People were dancing and drinking, all around enjoying themselves. With a hand to your lower back, Dominik guided you towards the kitchen. There his friend was seen unboxing two bottles of Bacardi and placing them on the kitchen island between you. "Is this enough?" He asked Dominik.

"I said we needed more beer mate, not a blackout."

His friend laughed. "You're here for a good time man, beer won't assist you with that. The ladies know what I'm talking about, no?"

Dominik's friend spun the cap on the bottle and poured you a shot, sliding the glass over to you. You hesitated, but eventually brought it to your lips, emptying it in one go.

"Wow." Dominik looked at you with wide eyes as you didn't even wince.

You shrugged. "I was thirsty."

The rest of this part of the night would later be a blur to you. As Dominik's friend poured the two of you another round of shots, followed by another round. You were only left wity faded memories of hands roaming your body, pulling you in by the waist and pressing your back against someone's hard front. You surrendered yourself to the waves of the music, a playlist including the greatest afrobeat hits. Songs that made your hips roll against whoever was pinning you against them.

"God, you're so sexy."

His voice was at your ear, whispering nothing but erotic nonsense.

"Fuck, Y/N, you feel so good against me. Can't you feel it? Tell me that you feel it."

"I feel it." You whined. Eventually the flashing lights revealed that it was indeed Dominik, who's crotch your ass was grinding against. He turned you over, pinning your back against the nearest wall. He bent down to kiss you and the first taste of him caused hysteria within yourself.

His lips were soft and well moist, perfectly attached to the crease of your neck. But imagine what more they could do and where.

"I wanna fuck you."

"Yes." You nodded. "Please."

You were dragged to the nearest bathroom, not the classiest place to get dick down in, nevertheless, Dominik had you bent over the bathroom sink, lifting your skirt up to expose your pink thong.

He chuckled

"What?" You quickly got insecure, no longer bending over against the sink.

Dominik brows furrowed. "What?"

"You laughed at me. Did I do something wrong?"

"What, no?" He seemed confused. "Of course you didn't, you're perfect." He took you in, cupping your chin and pulling your lips against his.

You were balancing yourself on your tippy toes, struggling to meet his height. Dominik hands went to squeeze your ass, making you gasped against his open mouth. "Dominik?" You were panicking a little, knowing where things were headed.

"Y/N, don't talk so much. Just let me fuck that pretty little mouth of yours."

You felt his erection grow stiff against your thigh, as well as his fingers that hooked around the lace of your panties, searching for the entrance to your...

"Dominik!"

He stopped, not too drunk to hear the panik in your voice. "You okay baby?"

You were flushed from all the kissing, your lips tender and plumb. "You should know." You said, struggling to catch your breath.

"Know what?" He removed a curl that was irritating your eyes.

"You should know that I've never..."

"Yes?"

"I've never...."

His lips curled into a smile. "You've never what Y/N, had sex? You can tell me, I won't judge."

You gather your courage and swallowed. "I've never been with a man before, only women."

Dead silence followed.

Dominik didn't judge you, but he sure enough wasn't smiling anymore.

[ghouljams]

Normally I wouldn't be on anon, but I'm a little embarrassed about sending in this specific ask since it's a wee bit personal.

I just wanted to say that I absolutely adore your portrayal of Moon and Soap's relationship! When I was a little younger, I went through a period of time (about 5-6 years?) where the men I was nearby would play a "fun" game where they would every week or so torment me by coming up to me and admitting they had feelings for me, or ask me on a date.

They, of course, had no intention of actually going out with me, nor did they like me at all, it was merely an enjoyable game to play with the feelings of the weird autistic woman who struggles with social interactions at the best of times. If I went along with it then I was taunted for being so stupid to think someone far better than myself would ever lower themselves far enough to ask me out, and if I denied them? Then I was a stuck-up bitch who thought too highly of herself.

After enduring this for years I've learned that when a man flirts with me my immediate course of action should be to push them away as fast and aggressively as possible. Don't bother trying to find out if there are any actual genuine feelings there, just chase them away. Snap at them. Ignore them. Cut them with words and actions. Don't ever trust that they're being honest.

I think this is why I see so much of myself in Moon. If a handsome beefcake like Soap approached me and started calling me pretty? Yeah, I would definitely try to get rid of him as fast as possible. I mean, a charismatic, gorgeous man like that showing interest? Nah, there must be something suspicious going on.

I like that Moon hisses and spits like a feral cat whenever she sees Soap, regardless of the way she does like him, because that behavior just hits so close to home. And the way that Soap sees through that and just keeps being determined to get through to her? What a man.

I love all your other darlings, it's fun to pretend to be some confident, sociable person in the lovely worlds you've build, but Moon and Soap just feel like home.

I hope this isn't too cringe, I just wanted you to know that your works really touch people <3

It's not cringe at all!! You're saying something true and beautiful, and nothing genuine should be considered cringe.

Moon is one of my favorite characters to write because she's such a delicate balancing act. She's brash and confident in her work, but her self confidence is false at best. She's learned to push people away before they get close enough to hurt her, but she desperately wants people close. In my mind Moon likely went through a similar experience of people asking her out or flirting with her as a joke. I see her as a very weird and lonely kid (interpret that as you will) that had one or two close friends and didn't really bloom until she went to college. I see her settling in the cowboy's town as her chance to reinvent herself, so she becomes the person she wished she'd been during those rough times: someone tough and take no shit, always speaking her mind, not being afraid to say "no" or tell someone to fuck off.

And Soap sees through that because he's the same way! Soap just went the opposite direction: charming, funny, lots of smiles and confidence to hide that he's sort of fucked up inside. Soap's deeply serious, he needs validation from the people around him, he's desperate to do good in the world, he's reckless and bull headed, and stubborn as shit, but people don't like that so he becomes someone else. Of course he'd want to chase down the one person that would understand that, that can see through his cocksure layers to the intelligent asshole underneath. In his mind there's no one else he could ever love, that would love him the way Moon can, wholly.

That's not to say they don't have their problems, but I don't think they ever have a genuine argument. They might bicker but it's never genuine, and the times when they hurt each other it's always quick to resolve. Soap trusts that Moon is only trying to protect herself, that she doesn't want to hurt him, she's just scared. Truthfully I think he's a little scared too, scared that his charm doesn't work on her, that she sees him for who he is and still treats him the same way she does everyone, that he feels so strongly about her. I think he's scared of how eagerly he keeps coming back, because he knows once she lets him in he'll never be able to let her go. (and I think Moon knows that too, that once Soap has her she'll never want to leave, and what is she supposed to do if he doesn't want her anymore?)

[vettelsvee]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DI! | Sebastian Vettel

f1 masterlist | history series masterlist | season 1

history series season 2: part 1 | part 2.1 | part 2.2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6

summary: diana's surprise birthday party makes her realize that, maybe, just maybe, she's in love with seb... without her knowing he has a girlfriend already.

word count: 3907

warnings: not actually! seb just being the standard and making sure di has an incredible birthday party (but hiding her he actually has a gf)

taglist: [@theseerbetweenus @annewithaneofthegreengable @vincentvanshoe @formulaonebuff @roisinivy] if you wanna be tagged in each part just tell me in the comments <3

a/n: the best is about to come omg. i'm so happy and so scared at the same time because the next two chapters are gonna be THE ONES (everything is going to hell)

feedback, as well as reblogs and comments, are truly appreciated!

2009

Bahrain Grand Prix Bahrain International Circuit, Sakhir

April 26 Sunday

Diana

Seb had managed to secure a well-deserved second position, just behind Jenson Button, whom he almost managed to beat. I wasn't usually very competitive, but since joining Red Bull Racing at the beginning of March I had been quite the opposite, especially as the results seemed to keep improving.

Now I understood the competitiveness that everyone in this sport exuded, always striving to be the best.

After getting out of the car, the German headed straight to Christian, some mechanics, and even to Helmut Marko, who were waiting for him in parc fermé to congratulate him properly. I knew I could be celebrating there with them, but my nervousness and, probably, the insecurity that had developed from the treatment I received last year, added to the stupid requirements of my contract, which was also stupid, made me stay with Britta.

"Diana, I've told you many times..."

"Yes, I know," I cut the woman off. "Diana, you have to be there, you deserve it!" I tried to imitate her perfectly while gesturing at the same time. "Britta, seriously, just leave it. I'll go some other time."

The woman raised an eyebrow. I knew she wanted me to keep talking, or at least say something that made sense and didn't avoid the conversation.

"You know you should be celebrating," she pointed towards the crowd of people dressed in navy blue. "You're part of the team."

"I don't think so," I reprimanded her. "At least, I feel completely out of place, and I know it's going to take me years to develop a good relationship with everyone, just like it's happening to you!"

"Diana, I've literally been here, in Formula 1, since 2007, when Seb joined Toro Rosso mid-season," she explained. "Do you think that's such a long time to get to know other people?"

I lowered my head and started fidgeting with my feet. I already knew she was right, and that all I was doing was making excuses because of my shyness, fear of rejection, or whatever it was.

"Well... maybe it'll take me a little longer because I'm not as open with people as you are."

While Britta kept trying to convince me to join the impromptu party, where everyone was already full of champagne and drinking from the bottle Sebastian had received on the podium, along with his trophy, my mind was scattered with other thoughts. Tomorrow, April 27, was my birthday. I couldn't help but think about it, no matter how hard I tried not to, even in the middle of all this celebration. If there was any reason why I had been hating my birthday for almost seven years, it was because of the negative change that 2002 had brought to our lives.

Before I could even respond to Britta, Rocky approached us enthusiastically. I had been working closely with him throughout the almost two hours of the race; now he seemed like a different person, with his hair and clothes completely covered in alcohol and small golden pieces of what seemed to be confetti.

"Diana, come here! We did an amazing job!"

The man, without giving me time to answer, opened his arms and enveloped me in a hug, even lifting me up a bit.

"Okay, okay, I get it, calm down!" I replied, surprised, while trying to free myself from his grip. "You don't have to thank me for anything. All the credit goes to Seb for driving the car."

Rocky shook his head as soon as my feet touched the ground again. He went into angry father mode and started a rant about the importance of teamwork.

"Diana, I don't care what role you have here," he encouraged me. "Here, we all work together, and each one of us is essential. You," he took me by the shoulders and shook me a bit, "are an essential part of the team, just like Seb, Mark, Christian, and even Britta," he said, earning himself a punch from the aforementioned woman. "If you think you don't have experience, you're here for that very reason: to gain it and become the best."

"Successes and failures are better handled together, Di.

Before I could respond to anything, Seb appeared with his trophy in one hand and, in the other, a bottle of champagne, possibly empty. His enthusiasm was contagious, and I couldn't help but hide my smile. Seb, in response, just approached us and hugged us enthusiastically, as if we were the ones who had made all that effort to almost bring the victory home. That only made me even more infected with his joy. I was fully aware that getting on the podium meant a lot to him, just as it was special for me to have, in part, made that possible.

“You have no idea how happy I am, I swear,” he suddenly blurted out, trying to calm his breathing, altered by euphoria. “We're going to celebrate, but first, I need to shower.”

Roeske gave him a slight nod. I simply remained static, not knowing what to do or say because I didn't know if I was part of the last thing the boy had said.

“I also have a surprise for you, Di,” he continued, as if he had read my mind.

The word surprise left me completely bewildered, causing my thoughts to become totally confused as I tried to decipher Sebastian's words, who had quickly disappeared from my field of vision to go freshen up. Did he know that tomorrow was my birthday? No, that was impossible; although I was talking to Amelie yesterday...

I hated how gossiping people in the paddock were.

I turned to Britta and found her trying to hide her smile; her wrinkled eyes and contained laughter were possibly what gave her away.

“Do you know anything about this surprise Seb mentioned?”

“Me? Diana, for God's sake, you know me,” of course. I knew her well enough to know she was avoiding what I had asked, 'I don't know anything.”

“Britta…”

My insistence and desperation seemed not to affect the woman, who regained her composure and tried to pretend seriousness.

“Diana, trust Seb. You'll see it's something you'll like.”

Britta's words only increased my curiosity. Her smile suggested she had information, but she didn't want to say too much. So, I decided to play along and not give in to the temptation to keep insisting.

A few minutes later, Seb appeared dressed in a way that took me completely by surprise. He wasn't wearing the uniform he usually wore after a race; instead, he had on a white shirt, jeans, and the black Vans that I was so used to seeing.

“What, do you like how handsome I got for you?”

But...

I heard Britta clear her throat, giving Vettel a somewhat confused look. Sebastian composed himself, and I felt he gave his agent a slight apology with a nod. I couldn't help but think about how handsome he looked and why he would dress like that, as if we were going on a date.

“Of course,” I replied as confidently as I could, although nerves were consuming me inside, 'What exactly do you have in mind? Are you going to kill me, or something?'

“I wasn't thinking of killing you, but I do have a plan to steal your heart or something like that, although don't pay much attention to me.”

After those words, I saw how Roeske, again, glared at her client. Unlike me, she didn't seem particularly happy that Seb was possibly flirting with me.

“Sebastian, stop fooling around and behave!” she shouted, attracting the attention of those present. “You're not a horny hormonal teenager!”

The German laughed and then gently took my hand, guiding me out of the garage as he politely, and as he was already used to, said goodbye to all the team members, who were still celebrating their podium. Again, as we moved through the paddock, my mind was filled with curiosity about what would happen next.

As we progressed among the crowd, trying to avoid journalists and some fans, I began to feel a little uncomfortable and instinctively let go of Seb's hand. I felt that the way we were behaving could attract too much attention, and that was the last thing I needed at that moment. As soon as our contact ended, I saw how the expression on the pilot's face changed slightly, showing me with his expressive eyes what seemed to be disappointment.

“I'm sorry, Seb. I don't want this to turn into a scandal, I don't think…”

I tried to explain myself as best as I could, but I couldn't continue when his gaze shifted elsewhere. My words hung in the air. Deep down, I appreciated it. My discomfort increased just at the thought of cameras taking pictures of us to later publish them, just like happened in Monza.

Our relationship was based on a friendship that was getting better as the days went by, and I didn't want stupid rumors to ruin what I always wanted, and never had.

The whole way to the car was completely silent, which only served to increase my discomfort and make me regret having pulled away from Seb's grip. However, the tension was left behind once Seb opened the passenger door for me, bowing in a way that made me burst out laughing.

“'Lady Di, welcome to my humble carriage. I hope today's journey pleases you.”

I was used to seeing Sebastian Vettel the racer, but not Sebastian Vettel the gentleman. I liked the latter more than the former and wouldn't have any problem getting used to it given the chance.

The guy started driving towards an unknown destination, but tranquility enveloped me when, as always when I got into his car, he played music. The first chords of Umbrella filled me with excitement, and as soon as Rihanna's voice began to resonate throughout the vehicle, so did mine. My shyness disappeared when I was with Sebastian, and I even dared to say that he was the only person with whom I felt like myself.

I didn't even know why this happened to me, and a kind of excitement and desperation invaded me at the same time, especially when I noticed how at certain moments he would glance away from the road to focus on me, forming small dimples on his cheeks that made me blush.

About half an hour later, I noticed the speed was decreasing, and Sebastian parked in what seemed to be.

“Hope you're not actually going to kill me…”

My comment was ironic, but the tremor in my voice was real. I was restless, and once again, uncertainty was creeping in. I heard Seb asking me to trust him, and although I resisted at first, I ended up giving in; it was impossible not to listen to this guy.

“I promise everything will be fine, Di,” he repeated again, making sure I was calm. “I just need you to be blindfolded for a few minutes. Trust me, please.”

I bit my lip, indecisive, but finally nodded. My partner opened the glove compartment and took out a blindfold, which he put on me as quickly as he could, with clumsy hands. My eyes ended up covered, leaving me in darkness and with a feeling of vulnerability.

The car started moving again, and although my vision was completely disabled, my mind was constantly alert to any movement and sound. Every turn and every brake the driver made had me on edge, but after a few minutes that felt like an eternity, that feeling ceased. I could hear the leaves crunching nearby, and suddenly, I felt Sebastian's strong hands gently gripping my arms.

“Easy, Di. We've arrived.”

His words reassured me. I tightly closed my eyes behind the blindfold because maybe, that way, everything would pass faster, leaving all the work to him. I felt him help me out of the car, making sure my feet gripped the ground without stumbling.

“Are you okay? Can you walk, or do you need me to carry you like we just got married?”

“Yes, I'm fine,” I nodded, releasing a sigh of relief. “Thanks for doing all this for me.”

Sebastian's clumsy steps, along with a few jokes he was making, made me release nervous laughter as we walked along what seemed to be a rough path.

“Are you sure you know how to get to wherever we're going, Seb?” I asked.

“When are you going to trust me?' he replied. 'Have I ever lied to you?”

I laughed at his response, but before I could reply, the guy stopped. With a gentle yet determined gesture, he removed the piece of fabric that had been covering my eyes for longer than I would have liked to endure. My pupils immediately began to adjust to the light emanating from the place.

Before me was a dazzling hall, decorated with balloons and twinkling lights of all colors moving constantly in all directions. What surprised me the most was the crowd of people gathered there: drivers, engineers, mechanics not only from Red Bull, but from all the teams; even Britta was there, holding a banner tightly with the words "Happy Birthday, Di" written in completely irregular handwriting, as if it had been colored by a five-year-old.

The sound of Happy Birthday sung by everyone began to resonate in my ears as confetti cannons, held by Fernando and Lewis, shot confetti into the air. Tears filled my eyes, for the first time in my life, out of happiness. I couldn't believe anything that was happening, and even less that Seb had been the mastermind behind it all.

"Happy birthday, Di!" 

Seb's voice, full of affection, made me turn towards him, and before I could say anything, I gave him an awkward hug, almost causing us to fall. His eyes sparkled as much as mine, and I could swear I saw a tear forming in them.

Laughter and applause began to fill the room as the confetti continued to fall. I was surrounded by people I admired and respected, and for once in my life, I felt accepted and loved, even if it was only reluctantly.

I took a deep breath to calm myself. My embarrassment was beginning to shine through again because I didn't like being the center of attention, but I tried to put it aside to thank everyone who had taken a little bit of their time to make my day a little happier.

"Well... Hello everyone, although I guess it's already good evening, or afternoon, or however you want to say it," I started, my voice trembling. "First of all, I want to say that, well... this totally caught me off guard, but I'm very surprised and, especially, grateful, that you've taken a bit of your time to be here now, even though we've never spoken, because I see some unfamiliar faces."

Damn it, I could already feel my cheeks burning. Nico approached me and, pushing Sebastian aside, his arms surrounded me, giving me encouragement with his gaze.

I swallowed and continued:

"The truth is, I don't know what to say," I confessed. "This time I've spent in Formula 1 has been amazing,” I lied, “and I'm very happy to have met great people like Sebastian," I removed the older German's arm from my shoulders and moved closer to the other, who seemed to relax. "If it weren't for him, I don't think I would still be here. I couldn't be more grateful to have you in my life."

I looked at Sebastian, who gave me a completely sincere smile, making my heart skip a beat. I wanted to keep talking, but my faltering words made me decide to end the speech with a simple nod. Everyone started applauding, and suddenly Sebastian took the microphone that had been in my hand the whole time.

"Come on, it's gift time for my favorite girl in the paddock!" 

With smiles and continuous gestures of gratitude, I accepted all the gifts that started coming my way. As the packages, perfectly wrapped in gift paper, beautiful bags and colorful ribbons, my excitement grew as it hadn't since the last birthday I celebrated, before my mother's death.

Scarves, artisan chocolates, jewelry, among others were what began to flood the table behind me. Much more people than I had thought at first had bothered to bring me a simple detail.

Nico, when everyone had gone to get some snacks and drinks, approached with a box that, although it wasn't wrapped, was quite striking because of its size. He handed it to me with a wink; when I opened it, I was amazed. Inside was a digital camera like the ones I had always said I wanted in some conversation we had about how much I wanted to improve my photography skills that year.

"Nico, this is incredible!" I exclaimed too loudly as I jumped. "I can't believe it! Thank you so much!"

But the German wasn't done. He handed me a small box I opened carefully. A beautiful necklace full of stars with little stones made me widen my eyes. It was delicate and elegant, just my style even though I wasn't a big fan of jewelry. Before I could say a word, the Williams driver took it from my hands and gently placed it around my neck. As he tied it, I felt his breath fall on my goosebump-covered skin, which tensed even more when he left a kiss on my neck.

"I hope you like it, Diana," he murmured in a tone that was too seductive for him. “Happy birthday."

My excitement was at an all-time high, and I was so absorbed in Rosberg walking away from me, his gaze still fixed on mine, that I hadn't noticed that there was still one gift left: Sebastian's.

The blonde, who seemed to have stayed static at the scene he had just witnessed with his compatriot, approached with a small bag in his hands. It was evident, at first glance, that it wasn't as flashy as the other gifts. His expression burst with happiness, but I knew he was a little upset about the gift Rosberg had given me.

"Di..."

"Before you say anything," I interrupted him, "I want you to know that nothing, and no one, will ever top your gift: the first birthday party I've had in seven years. I hadn't had any since my mother's death because my father was reluctant to it," I explained, being more sincere than I would have liked, "and my sister and I are already used to making special days like any other."

"I'm going to make you as many birthday parties as you allow me, Di," he finally responded, without questioning anything I had told him. “I promise you that."

Without saying anything, I carefully opened the bag. Removing the tissue paper that covered it in the same way, I found a small notebook accompanied by a matching pen. It was very simple, but it was exactly what I liked the most, and, above all, I think I needed it.

"I know it's rubbish compared to what Rosberg gave you," he said, pointing with disgust at the camera and the pendant around my neck, "but I thought it would be a good idea for you to have it, so when you can't vent to me, you can do it by writing. I do it a lot when I'm overwhelmed, and it works pretty well for me," he continued, "although sometimes I feel a little secondhand embarrassment about what I write, I'm not going to lie."

Tears filled my eyes again that night, unlike that, for the first time, I had allowed myself to cry. Yes, it was true that it was nothing special compared to the others, but the fact that Sebastian had cared about me, in a way, made it even more special.

"It's absolutely perfect, Seb, really. Thank you so much."

"Wait, there's one more," he revealed, a little more excited.

My curiosity was awakened again as he handed me a jar that seemed to have been hidden all this time under the table where the rest of the gifts lay. It was adorned with a label featuring a photo of us with the date we met written underneath.

"This is one of my silly ideas, but I think you'll like it. Here," he took the jar, and opened it. "There are 365 papers, and I want you to read one each day when you wake up to start the day as happily as possible," he explained, leaving me completely amazed. "They're a mix of lyrics from songs you like, jokes we've shared over this time and well, a surprise or two as well."

If the background of the notebook had left me speechless, this had done it even more.

"Seb... I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything: pick one and read it, let's see what it says."

Seb gently brushed his fingers over my cheeks, wiping away the remaining tears on my face, and enveloping me in his arms as he had done so many times before. His blue eyes sparkled especially as he encouraged me to pick one of the messages from that jar again. Trembling, I took out one of the small carefully folded papers and slid my fingers over it, carefully opening it.

Thank you for being one of the most special people I've ever met. I hope one day you feel as special as you already are to me.

A silly smile spread across my face, and I quickly shifted my gaze from the handwriting to its author.

"Why do you come up with such brilliant ideas?"

The young man tilted his head and gave me a tender kiss on the head as he pulled me even closer to his chest.

"Because you're my greatest inspiration."

His words resonated within me like a constant echo for the rest of the night, partly preventing me from enjoying the party, the music, the dancing, the drinks, and the company. My emotions had turned into an internal storm that put great pressure on my stomach as I tried to process my feelings.

While talking to Felipe Massa, I watched Seb from a distance chatting animatedly with other guests, including Lewis. There was something in his smile and in the sparkle in his eyes when they met mine that made me feel a little special.

Part of me wanted to flee from this whirlwind of confusion and extreme confusion and enjoy my birthday night. However, there was another part of me that was intrigued by the idea of what could happen between Red Bull's golden boy and me, as unimaginable as it was. Perhaps that was why I drank too much that night. There came a point where, due to my mental block, I sat in a chair and kept asking myself, constantly, as if it were a mantra, if I was really in love with Sebastian Vettel or if maybe the German was earning a too privileged place in my life.

All the memories of the night, to my misfortune, became confused, except one.

Britta, taking me to my room, as best she could, while constantly repeating not to play with fire because, perhaps, things could end up worse than I imagined.

[cinnamon-galaxies]

A Padawan's Confession

Pairings: Obi-Wan x padawan!reader

Warnings/Tags: drama, hurt/comfort, age difference, no (further) romantic interaction

Summary: G/N reader! You and your master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, rest by a campfire overnight during a mission. As your thoughts get heavier each second he senses your trouble and you take the opportunity to announce your decision to leave the order. Because feelings far beyond the boundaries of the Jedi slowly turn you insane as your heart craves for the man who's both the furthest and closest to you....

Words: 1.7k

A/n: This short story is inspired by a one shot I've written many years ago. I hope you like it! Also English isn't my first language so there might be spelling and grammar mistakes in this story!

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The quiet camp fire marked tonight's resting place from your stressful mission. You and your master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, sat on broken trunks, your cloaks pulled around you tightly to keep the warmth of the fire around your bodies. But as quiet as the night seemed to be, your mind was the exact opposite. Hundreds of thoughts raced around and kept your pulse high and your tension at a maximum. It was at the time you eventually should be honest with your master and talk to him about your decision to leave the order. Your thoughts have been resolving around this topic for months now and with each day passing you felt more certain to pervade your decision, as the pressure and pain got worse and became almost unbearable.

While you tried to think about the best way to tell him, your master sensed your inner tension. "You seem troubled, Y/N," he observed. "Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

You hesitated for a brief moment before you nodded. "Yes. Kinda..."

"What's wrong?" Obi-Wan asked, his neutral facial expression slowly turning into concern. He didn't want you to feel bad. He in fact despised it when you were sad or troubled and that is why he always wanted to be there for you, support you and help you through bad times. Of course it was also his responsibility to care for you but through all the year's you've been his Padawan you grew to be so much more for him, something similar to the daughter he never had. And that is a fact he never actually said out loud but it was a silent truth between the both of you.

You let out a deep sigh but it didn't release any of the heavy pressure pushing down on you. To leave the order was a life-changing decision that couldn't be undone. It could be a big mistake—or the best decision you'll ever make. But after all it hurt a lot to even think about saying goodbye.

"I-" you started but a heavy lump in your throat interrupted you. "I can no longer do this." You automatically lowered your voice and turned your face towards the darkness behind the trees to avoid his glance. You felt tears form in your eyes, so you closed your lids and held your breath. There was almost nothing else as awkward as crying in front of your master, a Jedi in accordance with the code. 'There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force,' you quoted in your mind realizing you've broken at least half of the five key principles. What a shame it would be if you'd shown your master how much you were guided by your emotions. "I'm sorry master," you said.

Obi-Wan frowned in both confusion and concern. "You're sorry? For what? What is it you can no longer do?" he asked with a calm voice. He was trying hard to hide how much he worried about you right now.

"All of this," you replied. "I made the decision to leave the Jedi order." Out of a sudden, relief flooded your veins as the heavy weight of those words left your soul with every syllable spoken.

Obi-Wan paused. He didn't even realize he forgot to beathe while the shock of your announcement washed over him. "Y/N," he finally managed to press through his lips. "Leaving the Jedi order is a significant decision."

"I know," you replied.

"May I ask why you've come to this conclusion?"

You hesitated. It made you uncomfortable to talk about the reasons. Then again, informing him was the least you could do. You still didn't manage to make eye contact. "I've broken the Jedi principles. Or, to put it better, it gets harder for me to follow them everyday. I can't no longer distract myself from my emotions and act as if I don't feel any affection. My mind starts to think in ways the doctrines of the Jedi dismiss and I'm afraid I'll and up in demise." The tears lingering in your eyes got more but you still managed to hold them back. It was obvious that your master could feel the bunch of emotions cracking through all of these walls you've built up since the beginning of your training. But there was one you could still hide. One particular emotion you hid so well from the outside and the force sensing abilities of the Jedi that you were sure, no matter how many your master could sense, that one particular emotion wasn't one of them.

"Affection, you say?" Your master responded and you nodded. "May I ask what kind of affection troubles you?"

You wish you could say that it was only a deep friendship that guided you to paths different from the force. But it was more. Something way deeper. "It's love," you said.

"Love," Obi-Wan repeated. As he turned his gaze towards the camp fire, you dared to look at him. He was obviously lost in thought. Maybe he was searching for the best response or he was thinking about you, wondering who the person might be that made you struggle this hard you considered to leave the order. "The Force guides us all on unique journeys," he then said. "And there are many that aren't consistent with the Jedi ways. You're correct, affection—especially love—is a bond that leads you on a path in-between dark and light. What could be a strength might at the same time become a weakness. Where love blooms, passion lingers. And where passion lingers, darkness awaits."

You listened to his words. It was the same doctrine you had internalized for years but the way your master chose his words made it sound different this time. You suspected that he hasn't finished his monologue yet so you stood quite, examining his side profile while his attention seemed to be caught be the dancing flames. He in fact hasn't finished yet. "As you should know I won't judge you. It's not your decision if you fall for someone. It's your decision how you deal with it. And if your feelings affect you in a way they could harm you and the Jedi order this might no longer be your journey. So don't be ashamed."

You took a deep breath and turned your gaze to the fire as well. "Thank you," you said and a tear finally released itself from your strong hold and rolled down your cheek.

"For what?"

"For your understanding."

Your master chuckled. "Let me tell you a secret. When I was your age I've been in love as well. Twice. So I know your struggle. But it was my decision to lock those feelings up and stay in the order."

You blinked in shock. Your master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, has once been in love? Well, that was something you would've never expected. But at least he's managed to keep his mind straight. And with that thought you replied: "I don't think I'll ever be able to do the same. It's so hard and the person I'm into is almost always around me." You hesitated, afraid you've said too much. But in the end, it wouldn't matter what you've said the day you announced your decision.

Obi-Wan turned his head to look at you. His blue eyes shimmered in the light of the dancing fire that made his gaze seem even warmer than it already was. "Is it your friend Anakin?" he asked in curiosity and you took a deep breath before you shook your head.

"No. It's not Anakin." And with the words spoken out loud you've finally let the last of all the walls you've built to hide your emotions break into pieces. A warm wave of the force rushed over both of you and the campfire, making it dance uncontrollably fast for a brief moment. You noticed Obi-Wan shift but couldn't certainly say what exactly changed as you allowed him to find out about your feelings for him. Your cheeks immediately turned red and you felt shame rush over you. The emotion behind that wall was the exact reason you wanted to leave. Love for your master, the one who would—and should—never return your feelings. The one who was supposed to care for you, to train you, and who played great value on the Jedi principles. He wasn't even just your master, he was a Jedi master and a member of the high council as well.

Obi-Wan didn't turn his gaze away, his blue eyes now filled with a harsh realization.

Another tear ran down your cheek but you tried your hardest to not look away and keep the eye contact. In the perfect world of your fantasy Obi-Wan would've leaned towards you and captured your lips in a passionate kiss. But this wasn't your fantasy, it was reality. And in reality all he did was sit right in front of you, obviously shocked and speechless—but at the same time comprehending many details of your (probably strange) behaviour in the past. Your stares, the way you laughed particularly often in his presence, you distancing yourself from him after you made a mistake... The ways you've tried to impress him when fighting in battles....

"I'm sorry, Y/N", Obi-Wan finally said with a low voice. He was obviously still speechless.

"I know," you replied with a cracking voice. You still watched his face, his expression, the small wrinkles on his skin that were a subtile proof for the big age difference between you and him. You studied his blue eyes that still kept all of the warmth he's met you with during this conversation. His beard, the neatly cut hair... You tried m to memorize his face as best as you could because soon you'd never see it again....

You shook your head. "No. Please don't say that as if it was your fault. It's mine. And I'm gonna leave as soon as our mission's over."

"It is your decision how you want to spend your life. But I can't offer you what you want."

"I know," you replied with a cracking voice. You still watched his face, his expression, the small wrinkles on his skin that were a subtile proof for the big age difference between you and him. You studied his blue eyes that still kept all of the warmth he's met you with during this conversation. His beard, the neatly cut hair... Everything inside of you screamed for his affection, his love, his heart. You wanted him to touch you, pull you to his chest and kiss you gently. Obi-Wan was everything you've ever wanted and the one thing you'll never get. So you tried to memorize his face as best as you could because soon you'll never see it again....