#I'm out of tags so I'll just end by saying the most important thing: happy jules holland hootinany to all who celebrate <3

[awearywritersworld]

"took you long enough"

gojo satoru x reader summary: when you ask your best friend to meet the guy you've been seeing, things don't go quite as planned. w/c: 3.2k tags/warnings: angst to smut with a fluffy ending. 18+. friends to lovers. jealous gojo. curse words. drinking. gojo shoves ur love interest. he's just kind of an ass to him in general. fem!reader. no use of y/n. a/n: i don't often write smut, but i kinda got carried away.. carpe diem, i say masterlist

gojo is tired of hearing you ramble on about the new guy you've been seeing. he barely even glances at your phone screen when you try to show him a picture you took together.

"you're way out of his league," he states dryly.

"hardly," you scoff. "men don't exactly line up for me like women do for you."

it'd be a lie to claim you didn't have a thing for gojo at one point, but you learned a long time ago that he isn't interested in you that way. it wasn't hard to tell, given his parade of hookups and the occasional two week relationship. you've gotten over it though... for the most part, anyway.

he rolls his eyes. "i assure you that's only because you're shy, princess."

"okay, so you should be rejoicing that your best friend finally landed herself a boyfriend—"

"boyfriend?"

"well.. it's not official yet, but i think he's going to ask me soon!"

your apparent enthusiasm at the prospect leaves a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. of course, it's only because he wants the best for you and this guy certainly isn't it. "you've gone on like two dates."

"'toru, i've been seeing him for almost a month!" when he doesn't respond, you continue speaking. "so... that's why i was sort of hoping you'd come out with us tonight."

he looks at you increduously, "i am not third wheeling."

"you won't be!" you assure. "shoko and kento said they'd come. i just want you to meet him because you're really important to me and i actually think this could go somewhere—"

"alright, alright," he acquiesces, albeit begrudgingly. he's never been able to say no to you.

you squeal with excitement, throwing your arms around his neck in a brief hug. "i can't wait! we're all meeting at seven, i'll text you the address."

after a quick kiss to his cheek, you gather your things, all but running out the door. you weren't going to give him a chance to change his mind.

he stares after you wordlessly, running a hand through his hair while an unfamiliar tightness overcomes his chest.

when gojo enters the bar, he spots you right away despite the sizable crowd. as he makes his way toward your group, he can't help but notice how pretty you look in your little dress. in fact, you'd look absolutely perfect if it weren't for the fact you have another man's arm around your waist.

wait, what?

your laugh rings out across the room and judging by the smirk on shoko's face, he can tell she's said something you find unreasonably funny. once you spot him, your face lights up and you pull away from your almost boyfriend to give gojo a hug, something that brings him a sense of satisfaction.

"hey, sweetheart," he greets loud enough that the other man can hear. "who's this?"

"satoru, this is shinya!" you're beaming at him expectantly, so gojo has no choice but to extend his hand.

"hey, man." shinya shakes it firmly. "it's great to meet you. my girl's told me a lot about you."

gojo's eye twitches and he decides almost immediately that he finds shinya utterly insufferable. his voice is grating and he's too short and didn't you say you prefer guys with lighter hair—

"nice to meet you, too," gojo responds cooly. "i'm always happy to meet one of her friends."

nanami and shoko share a knowing look, more than prepared to break out their hypothetical popcorn. and boy, is this as good an occasion as any.

the strongest sorcerer isn't one to indulge in liquor, but how can he refrain when he has to be in the same room as shinya? each time he touches you, looks in your direction, calls you some sickening pet name— whenever he breathes in your general vicinity, really— gojo brings his drink up to his lips.

everyone else seems to be getting along, but unfortunately, he grows increasingly snarky with each glass he empties.

shinya asks what you'd like when he goes up for another round and it's 'oh, you don't know her favorite drink? well, i guess you're not as close as we are.'

shinya pulls your chair out for you and it's 'wow, you really got yourself a gentleman, princess.'

shinya mentions that he's fairly well versed in martial arts and it's 'really? maybe we should go out back and spar. i think it'd be fun.'

nanami steps in then, not entirely convinced gojo would hesitate before laying him out. "you can put the measuring tape away, idiot."

shinya is being an impressively good sport, but your anxiety has you emptying glasses in a hasty manner, too. you have no idea what's going on with gojo. you understand that he can be abrasive at times and that communication definitely isn't his strong suit, but his behavior is just absurd. you force an awkward laugh at nanami's comment.

"not that i'm not having, um, a great time and all!" you hiccup before continuing. "but i'd really like to dance. c'mon shinya!"

nanami and shoko wind up joining you both, which comes as a surprise. neither of them are exactly the partying type (not that you are either), but you're happy to see them having fun. honestly, you can't remember the last time either of them let loose.

you wonder if they also just wanted to escape gojo's snide remarks. now that they aren't ringing in your ear every other minute, your nerves have certainly calmed down a bit. well, until—

"so you do know that he's totally in love with you, right?"

"who?" you question, looking around as if it'd be obvious.

and it is, just not to you.

shinya chuckles. "gojo."

"what?" you bellow, completely dumfounded. "no way! i mean he's not— and i'm not— we're just friends."

"yeah?" he still sounds amused, nodding in gojo's direction. "is that why he looks like that?"

turning toward your table, even you have to admit he looks completely miserable. unbeknownst to you, he's spent the last half hour sending away every woman that approaches him asking to dance. he just isn't in the mood right now. at least, that's what he tells himself.

"er.. he just doesn't get out that much," you try your best to brush it off.

"whatever you say, baby."

you're relieved he doesn't seem terribly bothered by the idea, even if you find it completely implausible. it's true you spend a lot of time together and that you know one another like the back of your hands, but you'd given up any hope of it being more than friendship a long time ago. you'd moved on.

but if that's the case, why did shinya calling you baby suddenly feel so wrong? you convince yourself it must just be the alcohol.

when the four of you finally stumble back to the table, you realize you've missed last call. though it's probably for the best, as the five of you are certainly in for a nasty hangover the following morning.

it's near closing time, but the crowd has hardly thinned out and the music is still beating loudly in your ears. you're going back to jujutsu tech with your friends rather than home with shinya, so you loudly exchange goodbyes over the music as he gets ready to leave.

"i had a really great time tonight," he tells you. "maybe we could go for dinner tomorrow? there's something i've been wanting to ask you."

"okay!" you agree eagerly, eyes shining. "i'll call you in the morning."

gojo feels his stomach drop, his jaw clenching bitterly. he tries to tell himself to relax because this is what you want, but he just can't seem to get his thoughts straight.

shinya leans down, his lips meeting yours sweetly, and it causes white hot anger to flood gojo's body. it all happens so fast, shinya's ripped away from you with astounding force and he staggers backward. you've been struggling to hear over the noise all night, though you make out each word that follows with striking clarity.

"get the fuck away from her!"

gojo stalks off before anyone has time to process what just happened. he's already half way across the room when you come to your senses.

"'toru!" you call out, taking a step in his direction when he doesn't respond. "satoru!"

you take another step but you're stopped when something pulls you back. you look down to find shinya's hand wrapped around your wrist before your gaze turns up to meet his eye. "look, i really like you, but if you go after him, don't bother calling tomorrow."

the ultimatum is simple, but so is your decision. "i'm sorry."

you run off before he can say anything else, shoving your way through the bar patrons, and follow gojo out the door into the cold air of night.

"satoru!" you shout once more, thankful that his pace is slow enough for you to catch up. he turns to face you when you tug on his sleeve.

you nearly shy away from him, his expression something fierce, but the liquor in your system gives you courage. "what the hell was that? you embarrassed me—"

"i don't fucking care," he spits.

he's never taken such a tone with you, so you throw your hands in the air and exhale impatiently. "what do you mean? you should care! you're my friend, aren't you?"

"that's exactly what i mean. you're supposed to be mine," he growls.

you're not sure how it happens, but the next thing you know, his lips are crashing into yours, your teeth knocking together with the force. his hands paw at your hips, pulling your body against his greedily.

"i can't believe," he mumbles against your lips, "you wasted your time," his hands find your hair, tugging your head back and revealing your neck, "with that fucking loser."

once he's finished speaking, his lips trail across your jaw, landing just below your ear. your eyes flutter open and you're suddenly very aware that you're standing in the middle of a public sidewalk.

"'toru," your voice is breathy, even though you're trying desperately to keep it together. "there are people—"

he pulls away heatedly, his eyes narrowed. "you didn't care when he kissed you in front of everyone."

"yeah, but that was just a peck," you reason, though if he keeps this up, you're worried you might lose your resolve.

"tch, i guess you're right." the familiar sensation of warping through space and time sweeps through your body for a few seconds before your feet meet solid ground again. you don't need to look around to know you're in his bedroom. "we're going to do a lot more than that tonight."

your stomach flips at his words, heat rushing to your core. his lips find your neck once more, leaving sloppy kisses along your skin. "that's what you want right? for me to show you who you belong to?"

you nod weakly, feeling as if you're in a daze.

"ah, ah. use your words, sweetheart."

"yes— ah—" he sucks on the spot just above your collarbone before nipping the delicate skin there. "yes, 'toru."

"then get on the bed," he orders lowly.

and who are you to disobey? you can't honestly say you haven't been dreaming of this for years. his blanket feels cool to the touch, making you realize suddenly how much your skin is already burning with desire.

he kneels beside the bed, wasting no time before pushing up your dress and pulling your legs apart. you see his shoulders fall as he exhales harshly at the sight. his eyes flutter shut when he presses a kiss to your core over the tiny cotton panties you decided to wear.

he's rudely reminded of the possibility that you may have put them on with another man in mind.

"did you let him fuck you?" he interrogates. his eyes don't leave yours as he begins placing open mouthed kisses on the inside of your thigh.

"n-no!" it's almost embarrassing how vehemently you deny it, but the man between your legs takes great pleasure in your response.

"mm, knew you were a good girl."

he hooks a finger beneath your panties, pulling them down excruciatingly slow. you buck your hips up once he throws them off to the side.

"feeling eager, princess?" he taunts, his breath fanning across your center.

you nod, your legs shaking with anticipation, before remembering what he said about using your words. "please, 'toru. need you so bad."

he can't possibly deny you, not when you beg for him so sweetly. he presses a soft kiss to your swollen bud before flattening his tongue against it, drawing circles there. he groans when your slickness coat his chin.

you whine when his eyes shift up to meet yours and push yourself against him even further. he chuckles against your skin, but truth be told, he's just as eager as you are. he slips one long finger inside of you, relishing in how easily you take it.

"oh—" you cry out as he adds another finger, his tongue pressing against you just a little harder.

his other hand is gripping your thigh roughly, the flesh spilling between his fingers. one of your arms is supporting your weight, but the other reaches out, your fingers threading through his hair.

you're panting now, tugging on his white locks in pleasure. he moans in response and the way your walls are clenching around him lets him know you're close. "c'mon baby, cum for me."

that's all it takes for you to unravel, his name falling from your lips over and over. he doesn't stop until he's sure you've come down from your high.

"you tasted so perfect," he tells you, unbuckling his pants in a hurry and shoving them down his legs.

his shirt and boxers follow quickly thereafter, so you pull your dress over your head. you can't tear your eyes away from his cock, it's long and thick and pretty.

he pushes you back against the bed and crawls on top of you, but then he just stares down at your face. just as you begin to wonder if something is wrong—

"you're so fucking beautiful. have i ever told you that?"

your mind reels for an answer, but you don't have to worry about it for long, as his lips capture yours. you can taste yourself on his tongue

"tell me what you want," he murmurs against your lips as he moves his cock along your slit, coating himself in your wetness.

"need you, 'toru. p-please, i need you to fuck me."

he smiles against your lips as he lines himself up with your entrance, pushing inside slowly. he leans back to find that your eyes are screwed shut and your lips are parted in bliss. he's determine to seer the image into his mind forever.

splitting you open is absolute ecstasy, the noises he's making are proof enough of that. "fuck, princess. fuck."

he nearly whimpers when he bottoms out. "god, you feel so perfect. i could stay in this pussy forever."

your legs wrap around his waist once he begins to pump in and out. "never felt so full, 'toru. it feels s'good."

he shudders at your words and laces his fingers with yours, sweat beading on his forehead as he picks up his pace. his head dips down, his teeth nipping the skin of your neck aggressively.

"p-people are gonna see—"

"i want them to," he rumbles. "want everyone to know how good i made this tight little pussy feel."

you can't argue with him, not when this is the best anyone's ever made you feel. his head shifts even lower, his tongue moving along your nipples in a way that has your back arching off the bed.

he uses the opportunity to snake an arm beneath your lower back, holding your body against himself firmly. the new angle has you mewling his name in the most sinful way.

"you're takin' me so well. like you were made for this cock."

your head's lolling to the side as you fall to pieces beneath him and he can feel himself getting close. "look at me when i fuck you, baby."

you do as he asks, his hips stuttering when he sees the tears of pleasure swimming in your eyes. "you're mine, aren't you? tell me you're mine."

your pussy clenches around his cock so tight it's almost painful. "i'm yours, 'toru. all yours."

"fuck, that's my good girl. gonna cum for me again, hm?"

you nod up at him meekly, too far gone for words, but he doesn't seem to mind this time.

"'i'm close too, sweetheart." his fingers reach down to rub circles on your clit, eliciting a throaty moan from you.

you feel your stomach tighten and you're nearly there, but you don't go over the edge until he begs, "can i fill you up? want to so bad."

you can't find the strength to respond, so you hope the way you tighten your legs around his waist and claw at his back is answer enough.

your head rolls to the side once more, your vision going fuzzy around the edges. he grips your chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning you to face him. "please, baby. wanna see you when i cum—"

he hums your name through a choked moan, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he reaches his own high. he collapses on top of you, laying there for a moment before pulling out and rolling onto his back beside you.

no words are shared, both of you trying to catch your breath and slow your heart rate. the silence gives your mind a chance to wander, which is never a good thing.

you consider the fact that gojo's never kept a girl around for more than a week or two— that this probably meant way more to you than it did to him. you sit up feeling stupid and wrap your arms around your chest.

you look around the room in search of your panties, his cum running down your thighs when you stand up to grab them. it's not until you pull them up your legs that he opens his eyes. he props himself up on his elbow, furrowing his eyebrows when you pick up your dress.

"what are you doing?" he asks curiously.

"well, i figured i should go back to my room—"

"what, are you crazy?" he gawks at you. "get your ass back in this bed."

you approach him shyly, your apprehension clear to him. "i mean, you can if you want, but why would you go back to your room?"

"i just didn't know if you... you know.."

"no, i don't know." if you knew him any less, you might think he was intent on torturing you, but it's clear to you that he's genuinely confused.

you sigh. "i just didn't know what this meant for us."

"baby, i didn't think i could make it any more clear." he sits up to grab you by the wrist, tugging you onto his lap and wrapping his arms around your waist. "i'm all yours, so you're stuck with me." he tries to mask the nervousness in his voice when he asks, "is that okay with you?"

you nod, hiding your face in his neck. "took you long enough."

[mimsynims]

Fool For Love

part 8

~~~

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

~~~

Author's Note: Sorry this took longer than usual, it was a stressful week at work and I didn't have time or energy to write as much as I wanted. There will be at least one more part, but I'm hoping I'll wrap things up next time (but honestly who knows with these two)

More act 2 spoilers this time!

~~~

Astarion x reader/Tav

Tags: (mildish?) angst, pining, pining while fucking, jealousy, minor Karlach/Dammon, non-explicit injuries, eventual happy ending

Summary: You thought you knew what you were doing when you let Astarion into your bed. He doesn’t have feelings for you, and vice versa. Only…now you do.

Up until now, you’ve not been handling it very well, but you make an effort to move past it. Past him.

~~~

You keep your promise to yourself fairly well in the following days. The Shadowlands, as expected, keep you busy with new mysteries and clues — and plenty of battles — and most of the time, you manage to remain focused on the task at hand.

Perhaps your heartbeat picks up a notch every time Astarion is near, but you ignore it. And maybe, just maybe, you stare at him a smidge too long when he’s not looking, but only when you know it doesn’t pull your attention away from something important.

You’ve caught him watching you too, but you keep your distance. No distractions, not even for a quick roll in the proverbial hay.

Everything is going relatively alright — until it doesn’t.

Thanks to the psionic detector, the Githyanki ambush doesn’t catch you off-guard, but you learn quickly that you have underestimated the danger they pose.

Perhaps you all got too cocky these last few days — too many easily-won battles that have boosted your confidence into thinking that this too will be readily handled.

In retrospect, you should’ve returned to stock up on scrolls and potions before taking them on. Too late now.

It’s a drawn-out battle, wearing you all out little by little, but if it’s anything you and your friends are, it’s tenacious — and after what feels like an eternity, you’re down to one foe. It’s their leader, but even with all of you severely injured, you should be able to take them out.

You grin as Karlach deals a critical hit with her halberd, finishing the Githyanki off with a savage roar.

“Gods, that was close.”

“Too close,” Astarion says as he sheaths his swords. Things aren’t exactly good between you, but it has been getting better. “Next time we contemplate doing something this stupid, how about we don’t?”

“You’re just cranky ‘cause you didn’t get to bite either of them.” Karlach nudges him with a grin. “Isn’t that right, Fangs?”

You’re still laughing when something behind the others steals your attention.

One of the other Githyanki. You saw them get felled by one of Shadowheart’s spells, but perhaps they only got knocked out.

You stop breathing when you realise that not only are they alive — but they have an arrow notched, ready to fire.

And it’s aimed at Astarion.

It’s too late to stop the arrow as they, at that moment, let it fly — so you do the only thing you can think of.

“Tav, what–”

You push him out of the way, but it’s not fast enough.

The pain of the arrow piercing you is blinding; you think you might be screaming.

“Tav!”

You sag to the ground, and the last thing you see is Astarion looking at you with a panicked expression. At least he’s okay, you think.

After that, everything fades to black.

“…Calm down, Astarion, Tav will be alright.”

“They don’t look alright! Why aren’t you doing more?”

“The only thing we can do now is wait. If you can’t behave, leave. We’ll find you when Tav wakes up.”

You’re vaguely aware of the voices, but you’re not quite capable of parsing what they’re saying.

“Hah! And leave them alone with you lot? I don’t think so.”

Why does everyone sound so upset? You can’t remember, and before your mind is clear enough to figure it out, you drift back into unconsciousness.

Your mind still feels like a blur when you come to next. You think someone might be holding your hand, but it’s difficult to be sure when you’re groggy with pain. And you’re not ready to open your eyes just yet.

“Why, oh, why, must you always play the hero? And for me, of all people?”

You recognise the low-pitched voice. Astarion. Why is he here?

“So stupid.” What feels like hair brushes against the back of your hand. “I’m not worth you losing your life.”

“Sure you are,” you press out, because it’s that simple. “I’d do anything for you.”

He inhales sharply. “Tav? Tav, darling, open your eyes for me.”

You reluctantly do as he asks, and it surprises you to find him looking uncharacteristically dishevelled.

“There you are. You had us worried, you know.”

“Astarion.”

“I’ll go and get the others.”

“Astarion.”

Before you can stop him, he leaves, and when he returns with the rest of your friends, he sticks to the background, letting the others dote on you.

You want him to come back, want him to hold your hand again. If the others weren't around, you might have asked him to. Instead, you see him sneak out of the tent when Karlach starts admonishing you for your brave yet careless stunt.

You love them all so much, but in that moment you’re this close to telling them all to leave. You would have, if you didn’t know that they probably need this to ease their own worries.

Still, you’re eternally grateful when Shadowheart ten minutes later shoo everyone out of your tent. She’s about to leave too when she turns to give you a secretive smile.

“You said his name, you know. More than once. When we carried you back to camp.”

With a bone-deep groan, you hide your face in your hands. “Please tell me he didn’t hear.”

“Oh, he most definitely did. But you know how he is, after the initial surprise, his expression turned blank. But his eyes never left you after that.” She huffs a laugh. “Not that he let you out of his sight before that. The only one allowed to carry you was Karlach.”

It sounds too good to be true. “Really?”

“I thought he was going to attack Halsin when he bent down to pick you up.”

“Why would he do that?” It truly makes no sense.

“Jealousy, of course.”

“Astarion? Jealous?”

Instead of answering, she just gives you a wink. “Seems like you two have that in common. Now make sure to rest, alright? I’ll come by with something to eat later.”

“Right.” Your head is spinning, and not only because you're recovering from an injury. “Thank you, Shadowheart.”

You want to process everything you just learned but your body is not having it; in mere minutes, you’re back under again.

No one is holding your hand when you hours later rouse from sleep. Strange that, how your mind seems to have expected it just because it happened last time. When Astarion was sitting by your side.

Astarion.

You have to find him.

It still hurts like hell, but the pain level is manageable. Perhaps a grunt or two slips out of you as you drag yourself up to standing, but no one’s there to give you grief about it so it’s fine. It’s nothing you can’t handle.

It’s dark outside, but you should’ve known better than to think that that would be enough to let you sneak away unnoticed.

“And just where do you think you’re going, soldier?”

Karlach.

“I need to see him.” She already knows, so you might as well get right to the point.

She sighs. “You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?”

“No.”

“What if I go and find him for you?”

“Karlach.”

“Fiiiine. But only because I was already heading that way, anyway.”

“Dammon?”

Her besotted smile is a fetching look on her and you would hug her if you didn’t think it would hurt too much.

“Yeaaah. And last time I saw Astarion, he was heading in that direction.”

You don’t talk much on the walk over to the inn, your mind too busy going over and over what you want to say. What you want to ask him.

“You alright there, soldier?”

“Mmm, yeah. Maybe a bit nervous.” Because it’s truly dawning on you what you’re about to do. What if you’ve got it all wrong?

“Hah, trust me, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” Her gentle squeeze on your arm feels reassuring. At least a little bit. She glances over her shoulder at the smithy where a fire is still burning. “And this is where I leave you.”

“I’m happy for you, Karlach.”

“Thank you, Tav. I’d say good luck but I don’t think you’ll need it. Now go and shake some sense into the vampire of yours.”

“Will do,” you say, even though you’re not sure you mean it. Every plan you’ve made so far involving this man has gone sideways, so who’s to say it won’t this time?

Taking a deep breath, you find yourself remaining where you are. Stalling.

“Should you really be up and about, Tav?”

“Jaheira.” You are so caught up in your own thoughts that you didn’t hear her approach. Turning around to face her, you give her a small smile. “I have something important I need to do.”

“I see.” With a slight bow of her head, she acknowledges your wish for privacy. “It’s good that you’re here, I wanted to thank you for your help the other day. I’m not sure we would still be standing if it weren’t for you and your friends.”

“Trust me, I’m just as happy as you are about that. And you made quite the dent in enemy forces yourself, taking down several of those winged horrors.”

“Their deaths wouldn’t have mattered if you hadn’t dealt with Marcus.”

“Still.” Jaheira is a force to be reckoned with, no doubt about it. “We could use someone of your calibre in our party.”

“Thank you for the offer, but I’m needed here.”

“I understand.” Something in her expression tells you that she’s tempted. “Consider it an open invitation. In case you change your mind.”

“I will, thank you.”

“You don’t happen to know if Astarion is here somewhere?” You decide you might as well save yourself some time and ask. “Karlach told me she had seen him head this way.”

“He came here a while ago, yes. I think he’s down by the water.” She nods in the direction between the inn and the barn.

“Thank you.”

~~~

[dnd-writes]

Looking Up

AO3

Tags: toy!Haseul, master!reader, sexual slavery, public humiliation, masturbation, master/slave, dom/sub, slapping, impact play, humiliation, dacryphilia, degradation, name calling, self degradation, begging, punishment, dub-con?, rough oral sex, deepthroat, choking, gagging, breath play, fear play, biting, floor cleaning, painal, hair pulling, more slapping, emotion play, somewhat/barely edited

Warning: Well, the tags speak for themselves. Lots of generally degrading things plus a bunch of stuff that isn't usually seen in fics (or at least I don't usually see). Also gets a little more harsh/violent than what most people would probably be used to so... yeah, just full of degeneracy so uhh... enjoy!

A/N: Longest fic I've written amounting to just a little above 6k words wtf I didn't even notice (at first, until I started adding random stuff to meet the mark). Honestly I had a vision for this fic in mind which kinda got lost as I made it so if it feels a little over the place or if it bounces from this to that and that to this then I apologize. Also, while writing this, I was also writing the sequel fic somewhat alongside it. I'm not gonna go to detail about it to avoid spoilers but at the end I'll put a poll regarding the sequel so when you're done with this or you wanna skip right to the end then don't forget to vote, thank you!

Being a leader of a group can be tiring enough, what more when there are 12 total members? Everyone in the group looks up to Haseul, she’s so caring and loving, she’s almost like the mother in the group. Always taking care of her members, always comforting them, always being there for them, it can get tiring for her sometimes but the way everyone looks so happy and content is enough of a reward for the struggles she faces having to deal with her 11 girls. They love her and she loves them back.

However, sometimes Haseul wants something else, needs something else, something totally the opposite of her current position in the group. She needs someone to look up to, someone to be her leader, someone to hold her. Haseul found it impossible to ask her groupmates about this problem, she just couldn’t bring herself to talk to them about it, every time she thought she was ready to speak no words came out of her mouth. It wasn’t just embarrassment or fear, there was something in her holding herself back from reaching out, something within her preventing her from telling even the closest people in her life about such a deeply disturbing problem that’s affecting her.

That’s when she realized that even if she told anyone about it, even her closest friends and family, there was nothing they could do to appease that inner desire of hers. That’s when she realized that she needs a complete stranger to fulfill her darkest needs, someone who wouldn’t judge such a need that she has, someone who wouldn’t hesitate to deliver through with her requests. That’s when she realized that it’s more than just having a leader, more than just having someone to look up to, more than just an external force. That’s when she realized that her needs reach far deeper than she thought, not just her mind or her heart but rather her whole body needs it. That’s when she realized she doesn’t need a leader, she needs an owner. She doesn’t need someone to look up to, she needs to look up at someone. She doesn’t want to be someone important, she wants to be nobody. She doesn’t want to comfort, she wants to be hurt. 

= = = = =

“What’s taking you so long?” You can see on Haseul’s face that she’s tired from whatever it is she did prior to calling you, she puts on a dainty smile but it’s wiped away so quickly with how stern you sound. A nervous chuckle escaped her lips before finally answering, “Uhhh… I left a little late—” Haseul pulls the microphone on her earbuds closer to her mouth “—Master.” A whisper so faint even you could barely hear it but you didn’t press her to say it louder, public humiliation wasn’t on your agenda today, you have something else in store for Haseul when she finally reaches you, especially after having to make you wait for so long.

“Didn’t I tell you to be here at 4 sharp?” Your tone is gradually rising as you speak and you just see Haseul on your screen sink deeper into her seat out of humiliation.

“But we had—” “No ‘buts’ what did I tell you? I don’t care what you’re doing or where you’re at, if I set a time, you should be here at that time. Maybe I should just call s—”

“NO!” Haseul covers her mouth as she reactively opposes you. Her expression quickly changes to one of panic, both from screaming inside a tiny car and from even daring to go against your wishes. She quickly apologizes to the driver then bows her body as much as she can to apologize to you. “I-I mean… do whatever you want, Master. I am sorry.”

If there’s one thing to describe Haseul it’s determination and she wants nothing more in the world than to have your gaze to be solely on her, just the mere thought or mention of any of your other toys makes her desperate to the point where she goes against everything else, goes against her “code” just to keep you to herself.

You check your list of schedules and it seems like Haseul is the only one available for at least two more hours, so even if you wanted to give her emotional pain, the best you could really do is bluff. Not that it would matter to Haseul, she will believe any word you will say—the real problem is with your needs, without Haseul or any other toy, you’ll be left alone and sexually frustrated.. “Fine.” Just one word is enough to make Haseul bounce joyfully in her seat then immediately after she puts a serious face on, ready to follow any order you give her even from inside a taxi.

You didn’t really intend on doing it but given that you don’t have any other toys to play with at the moment, it will have to do. “What are you wearing?” you ask and Haseul simply extends her arm and angled the phone at her body, from seeing a view of just her face to everything but. A black camisole and jean shorts, a very typical outfit for her. Nothing too special about it aside from lots of skin and slight curvature of her chest along her tight top.

“Take it all off, play with yourself.” Although she’s in a stranger’s car, Haseul doesn’t hesitate to follow orders. You see her unbutton her shorts then not-so-elegantly shimmy them past her hips, it is a struggle enough having to remove them with her ass in the way but using only one hand while seated in a car makes it even harder. This isn’t the graceful strip tease Haseul hoped it would be, her smile weakens and you can just see the panic slowly start to build up within her. You’re simply watching her and yet the prospect of disappointing you acts like surveillance on her entire being. 

Haseul forgoes visual for speed but ends up grunting just a little too loudly, she freezes for a split second, looking over to the front before resuming her poor attempt at an elegant show. After a tedious couple of seconds, Haseul finally manages to get her shorts past her hips and it smoothly sails down her legs and onto the floor. What’s left behind is her shaved pussy, wet and ready for any debauchery you plan to bring upon her.

She lowers herself in her seat, trying to conceal herself as much as possible from the driver and potentially from other cars who might just peer through the window. As opposed to her shorts, her top and bra lift over her chest with ease, revealing her full round breasts to you—above her mounds you can see faded black ink spelling out the word “SLAVE” just beneath her bunched up clothing, still not fully erased from yesterday’s session. 

Haseul spreads her legs as much as she can then sticks her ring and middle into her snatch. She chooses not to go fast so as to not alert the driver of how she’s defiling his vehicle but you have other plans. “Cum for me, Haseul. Before you get here I want you to cum in that seat.” Haseul’s eyes widen from nervousness, this is the most humiliating thing you’ve asked her to do ever since you strolled her around naked in the middle of the night but her calling to serve and obey you stands above all and not a second later her eyes glitter with resolve. 

Haseul ups her pace while trying to be discreet as possible, with one hand holding the phone and the other busy with her pussy, best she can do to not be noticed is to bite her lips down and hope the car is loud enough to drown the wet sounds emanating from fingering herself.

If traffic is how it usually is like other days then that means Haseul only has a few minutes to complete her task so you sit back and wait to see how Haseul approaches this. What makes this even funner is seeing the struggle on Haseul’s face as she tries to get herself off in subpar conditions—only slightly comfortable, not able to moan, not having her tits played with, and not having your cock in her makes it so hard for her but Haseul’s determination keeps her going, that and the fact that she doesn’t want to upset you.

By the second it’s getting harder for Haseul to maintain herself, her lips start to part every now and then, sometimes she catches herself mid-moan and bites down on her lips to quiet herself, other times they slip right past and cause such lewd sounds to fill the dead air. You smile seeing your toy so obedient and Haseul flashes a quick smile in return of your approval of her. Your smile seems to trigger something else in her as you see her chest start to heave faster and her fingers to pump harder, your effect on her is huge even if all you did was curl your lips upward.

She adds her index to the mix and by now she’s slowly starting to lose herself to the heat of the moment. Her eyes slowly start to close and her mouth stays wide open. You can even start to hear her fingers pistoning in and out of her pussy together with lewd squelching, her moans start to get louder too as she slowly forgets about the situation she’s in. You wonder what’s going on in that head of hers but you decide not to disturb her lest you break her concentration. 

Total ignorance of her surroundings as Haseul treats her digits like a cock wanting to cum deep inside of her, her pussy leaks so much that it coats her hand and the seat in her own juices, her moans turn to shouts of passion as her hips grind against her hand. You notice Haseul starting to arch her back and her legs closing around her fingers, she’s close and you both know it. Maybe she will be able to do something that pleases you for once today.

That is, until the car comes to a complete stop. You look out of your window and there you see the taxi and you can kinda see Haseul still going at it inside. It’s only when the driver clears his throat that she notices she’s at her destination “Ma’am… ummm, we’re here.” Haseul’s eyes go completely wide as she looks forward at the driver’s seat but the shock of finding out that the driver sees her in such a state doesn’t compare to when she looks at her phone to see your blank stare. You let out a sigh and shake your head. “Just pay him well for his troubles. Leave your clothes there, I’ll meet you inside.” Your deadpan delivery is like a knife through her heart, you can see Haseul on the verge of tears just by talking to her like that. 

Haseul takes out two yellow bills from her wallet and hands them to the driver using her clean hand. “K-Keep the change,” she says as she bows profusely before exiting the taxi. You see Haseul step out of the vehicle in full nude, the neighborhood isn’t that packed with houses spaced far enough apart from each other but hopefully a neighbor or two gets a nice show of a busty woman running up to your house.

Haseul tries to greet you with a warm smile but the disappointment on your face makes her want to ball up in shame. You take her bag and throw it across the room, Haseul’s face is full of fear, not from the potential damage to her belongings but with how you stare her down. You grab her by the neck and pin her against the wall, Haseul immediately starts to choke and her hands involuntarily rise to meet yours but make no attempt to pull you off of her.

“I told you to be here by 5, not 5:30 but 5.” Your free hand rises and comes crashing down straight onto Haseul’s cheek immediately leaving a bright red mark on it. “Master, we—” The back of your hand meets her other cheek, for you it stings a little as you make contact but you’re sure Haseul gets the worse end. “Excuses, excuses, excuses. Don’t you bullshit me with any of that.”

“What’s this?” You point at the word still tattooed to her chest “Can’t even clean yourself properly?” Another offense, another slap. “And you can’t even cum when I ask you to, you’ve disappointed me thrice today, before even setting foot in my place. Three times, Haseul, just be thankful no one else is around or else I would have sent you away by now.” Another backhand strikes Haseul and tears start to stream down her face. “If you ever disappoint me again today, I’m calling someone else in. I’m gonna tie you up and make you watch as I fuck someone else and call them my favorite toy.”

You let go of Haseul and she crumbles into a sobbing mess on the floor, she kneels and holds onto your legs, crying and begging. “I’m sorry, Master. I-I’ll do anything, be anything. Treat me like a whore, use me how you see fit.” It’s such an empowering feeling having such a respected woman like Haseul be on her knees with her ass hanging higher than her own head and completely belittling herself for your own pleasure.

Haseul stays put, not moving an inch from her position if not told to. You bend down and caress her ass, your hand travels down along her spine and meets her head where you grab a handful of her long black hair and tug her upright. Haseul’s face is such a mess, one side is reddened while the other is slightly bruised.

You pull your pants down and bring your cock out. Before Haseul can even ready herself, you’re already pushing yourself past her lips, showing no remorse as you completely sheathe yourself in her mouth. Haseul chokes and gags repeatedly, spewing spit out of the corners of her lips faster than tears can come out of her eyes.

You grip the sides of Haseul’s head and repeatedly slam her face against your pelvis, she coughs every time you hilt and it’s just one of the most pleasant sounds you’ve heard all day. You don’t stop to even consider her well-being, not even giving her a chance to adjust herself or at least prepare, sometimes you even forget that the thing you’re using is less of a thing and more of a living breathing human-being.

Haseul keeps eye contact with you, through the pain, through the tears, her stare says a lot. Her stare tells you to keep going, to not stop, to give her the punishment she deserves. 

There’s no love, no care, no sympathy, no passion that goes into every shove you make against the back of her head. It’s all just anger and lust powering your hands and hips, just all the stress and sexual aggression expressed with the way you make Haseul take your entire length inside of her mouth. However, it’s not enough, you need more, Haseul needs more. Simply using her head like your own personal fleshlight isn’t enough, not degrading enough, not dehumanizing enough. This isn’t even entirely a punishment, it’s just one of Haseul’s many duties as a toy dialed up to an 11.

You pinch her nose closed and Haseul’s teary eyes begin to resonate with fear once more. Instantly you begin to feel her throat tighten as she struggles to breathe through her mouth. She tries to breathe in some air when your cock has mostly gone out of the way but then you just thrust in again while Haseul is inhaling and she chokes more intensely than before. You didn’t think her mouth could have been any better but here you are now, enjoying the best blowjob you’ve had in a while from someone nearly about to pass out.

Haseul lightly taps on your leg to give some warning but rather than slow down you just speed up, giving her less room to get oxygen. You begin to feel the rise of an overpowering sensation but at the same time you start to see Haseul’s eyes slowly closing. You quickly pull out and Haseul heavily gasps for air, mouthing a silent “Thank you” as she looks at you with grateful eyes. 

After a few huffs you thrust back inside while Haseul’s in the middle of taking in some air. She chokes uncontrollably and it only serves as intense pleasure for you as her throat constricts you harder than any other body part of hers could manage. You pinch her nose again while keeping your other hand firmly on the back of her head. You start to thrust your hips in time with each slam of her head, ridding whatever sense of care you have left for her. With the added pressure around your girth it didn’t take long for you to start erupting inside Haseul, the first few bursts went straight down but you made sure that the rest pools up on her tongue. 

You pull yourself out and Haseul collapses again, this time on her side. She holds her neck as she coughs wildly, spilling a lot of spit and cum in front of her. After, she lays quietly on her side, mouth open, drool dripping, making an absolute mess on your pristine floor. You grab Haseul’s bag and rummage through her belongings to find her phone then you start taking pics of her pathetically lying on the ground. “Aww, look at you, so pretty down there.” You then get close to her face and take close-up shots of her disheveled face with all the different liquids covering it. “This one looks perfect,” you say as you change her wallpaper to one of the pictures you’ve taken, replacing the one from the previous session which was her mouth full of piss. You take a few more pictures of Haseul from different angles before putting her phone aside.

Finally done with your fun, you nudge Haseul with your foot, “Get up, clean your mess.” However, Haseul doesn’t budge so you tap her with your foot again, “I said clean your mess, don’t make me ask a third time.” You can tell that she’s listening to you with the way she tries to move her body but fails to find the strength to move. Growing impatient, you take matters into your own hands. You roll her over on her stomach and press her face against the cold tile, immediately you can hear her mouth sucking away at the spill she has created. 

As you leave Haseul to work like a makeshift vacuum, you kneel and turn your attention to hear rear, raised high up to be presented just for you. Her legs shimmer under the light, covered in a fresh coat of her own juices, you glance and confirm a wet stain on your floor where she once knelt. You slide two fingers across her slit and gather up her nectar. You give it a little lick then give an unamused sigh, it’s still that same salty taste with a bit of sweetness. Not nearly as delicious as any of the others you have tasted, maybe you should start controlling her diet too, you make a mental note for yourself for the future

“You haven’t came yet, right Haseul?” you ask as you stick the same two fingers inside her cunt, Haseul squirms at the sudden invasion of her entrance. “N-No, Master,” she momentarily stops cleaning the floor to answer, there’s a hint of hope in her voice, perhaps longing to finally climax ever since her escapade in the taxi. But you have no plans for that, instead you push her head back down, “Keep it that way. Since your pussy has disappointed me already today, I think I’ll use your ass. If you cum before I do, well let’s just say I won’t be happy about it.” You give her a spank as you chuckle, a sick and twisted game for you to enjoy and for her to suffer through. Haseul’s body tenses up and her rim puckers as you mention the last line, she was close to release prior to her arrival so keeping it in for longer would be a pain. “Yes, Master, I will.” The pain and sadness is evident in her voice, trying her best to keep it together.

You line yourself up and instantly push through into her sphincter, the two of you groan out loud as it proves harder to penetrate Haseul’s ass this time around. You can feel Haseul tightening herself up, creating a grip so strong it rivals that of her air-deprived throat. Continue to push, dig your fingers into her flesh as you pull her hips towards you. Grunt as every inch gets slowly devoured by her ass, slowly but surely you make your way deeper and deeper until you feel her skin touch with yours. It feels tighter than her mouth but that’s all it’s got going for it, doesn’t have the choking sensation of her throat, the wet and rough feeling of her tongue, or the warm embrace of her lips. If you could fuck her face the way you did earlier all the time then you would do it but what you want is to harm her, not impair her.

You keep yourself still and bask in the effort of Haseul squeezing herself around you but other than that, there’s nothing else except for the sounds of heavy breathing. You tug on Haseul’s hair and lift her up, on the floor remains some of the mess she had made prior but regardless it remains. You pull her so that your mouth can reach her ear then you whisper, “Didn’t I tell you to clean that up already?” You lick the back of her ear then bite on it, Haseul shouts in pain, if you bit any stronger you probably would have made it bleed. “Y-Yes, Master. I’m sorry, I will do my job,” she says frantically. You slowly lower her but halfway down you let go and let her fall, Haseul barely catches herself just in time to not faceplant on the ground.

As she starts lapping the floor up like a thirsty dog, you feel her ass unclench every now and then. It seems like having her focus split between a degrading task and a mind-numbing condition is too much for her to handle all at once. 

You begin to slide out slowly, then back in, then out, then in. Finding a relaxed pace to start with, you aren’t entirely cynical, you want to see Haseul succeed in at least one task you’ve assigned her. You continue to pace your cock in and out of her ass while listening to a cycle of moans, heavy breaths, and sucks coming from way below you.

Sing a tune in your head, gauge the passing seconds. Count the time in your head but without a clock you couldn’t really be truly sure, has it been a minute? Maybe two? Three? Did you sing too fast? Too slow? Regardless you start counting down from sixty, mentally giving Haseul one last minute to see if she can do it. You’re rooting for her, really, it’s a little sad seeing Haseul fail so many things in so little time, it’s unlike her. As much as she voices out how much she deserves punishment, she much prefers serving and obeying every command and order you give her.

“Five… four… three… two… one…” Time is up for your human mop. You pull out completely then tug her hair back forcefully. You look over her shoulder to assess the floor, you’re happy to see that it’s clean—but as you look closely, you see just a few drops of white still staining the ground. Haseul gasps as she notices it too, you turn to her and she breaks down crying. “I-I’m sorry, Master, I failed you. I don’t mean to disappoint you like this, p-punish me, hurt me… I-I deserve this for being so useless.”

You smile as you hear the sweet and delicate words escape Haseul’s lips, it really is an invigorating feeling, having all this power over someone, having so much influence over her that even simple changes in your expression can make or break her.

You let go of Haseul and stand. Unprompted, she turns around and kneels by your feet, a predicament she’s found herself countless times in the past that she no longer needs to be told what to do. She keeps her hands on her lap, her eyes closed, and her face pointing up at you. 

You had a different plan in mind for her but this alternative would suffice, you wouldn’t turn down such an offer especially when it’s presenting itself like that, only a madman would pass up such an opportunity. And besides, nothing wrong with giving a little something extra. After all, it wouldn’t hurt anyone—well, anyone besides Haseul.

You cup the side of Haseul's face, soft and delicate to the touch, pristine skin ruined by hints of abuse made by you and you’re only going to make it look worse. It’s a shame really, a pretty and elegant face like hers reduced to an outlet of anger and disappointment. But you couldn’t really care less, in fact it uplifts you to see such beauty defiled and you take immense pleasure being the sole cause of it.

Haseul’s breath begins to hitch, the anticipation getting the best of her, a torture in and of itself. She’s not used to this, having your hand be this close to her face without even as much as a sting let alone having it be touched so gently. You can’t help yourself, normally she’s a crying and begging mess by now but that extra second of staring at her makes you pause in your tracks. You feel your heart skip a beat as both your hands move to touch her face, brushing her cheeks, fixing stray hairs, wiping away spit and sweat. Haseul opens her eyes, staring back with a mixture of hesitation and awe. 

“Master—” Inquisitive and confused, Haseul looks at you like you’re a complete stranger “—please, punish me.” Her words bring you out of your daydream, slightly tearing something within you in the process, a part of you that you never knew existed in the first place. Haseul doesn’t want love or affection, she’s here to atone for her sins, to serve her master, to look up to someone much higher than her. For a second you lost track of that, for a second you saw her in a different light, saw yourself in a different light. But no, that’s not what you’re here for nor is it what she’s here for. 

You shrug off all unwanted feelings and focus back on the matter at hand. Though you hesitate, your brief moment of longing strikes weakness in you. Haseul begs with her eyes as she kneels on the ground, awaiting the punishment that you’re becoming too scared to give. Haseul takes your hand and puts it on her cheek. “Master, please.” You close your eyes as you wind your arm back, channeling your energy as you take a swing at Haseul’s face. Your hand connects and the slap echoes in the vicinity, you open your eyes to see Haseul with a bright red mark on her, crying silent tears as she continues to present her face. A part of you dies but another feels alive, the surge of adrenaline rushing through your body as you savor the sight beneath you. You take your arm back again, this time without hesitation, and deliver another slap right in the same spot, Haseul’s cheek glowing red from the harsh treatment.

You turn her around and kneel behind her, quickly resuming your position earlier—a hand gripping the roots of her long hair and another at her side. You put Haseul’s arms behind her back then outstretch your arm so that she’s right above the spot she missed on the floor, a constant reminder of her failure just staring her in the face. You line yourself back up to her rear entrance, “Remember, don’t cum before I do.” Haseul frantically nods her head as best she could, even before you finished your sentence, wanting to just get it out of the way and straight to the action.

The remainder of Haseul’s spit that coated your cock has long dried out by now, but that’s not really a problem for you to deal with. 

You spread one of her cheeks as much as you can to see the ever familiar hole looking at you and to make it easier for the both of you. Her rim already looks a little sore and red, you plan to make that better. Again, the initial push has some troubles as Haseul clenches herself, this time however, you aren’t going to go that easy on her. 

You push inside slow and steady but once the head has fully disappeared, you ram the rest of your length inside of her ass. The dry friction of her anal walls makes you groan but that doesn’t compare to what Haseul is feeling. Her scream almost splits your ears as you plunge your entirety within her. Her whole body tenses up from how sudden it was, you give her half a second to adjust before pulling out just enough then ramming back in. Out and in, out and in, out and in, only this time you’re going much harsher, much harder, much faster. Reducing Haseul to mere grunts and moans as her dry entrance greedily hugs you. 

Only after a while does Haseul find her voice again. “It hurts! Y-Yes, yes, yes, fuck! Harder… harder, Master. Make it hurt more. Punish me like the bitch that I am!” The words just flow naturally out of her, profanities, moans, and whatever other degrading name just spew out of her mouth like it’s nothing. Haseul is truly in her element—pain and punishment, nowhere else have you seen her with such drive and energy. 

You do as requested, digging your digits into her side as you pound her hard. However, you find your grip rather unsatisfactory, with one hand holding her head up, having just one on her hip isn’t doing the job you want it to do. You adjust higher and higher on her body until your hand is pulling down on her shoulder. Your nails dig into her skin and your hand grips the base of her hair with all your might, each earning their own screams of pleasing pain from Haseul. 

Haseul’s in her element, perhaps a little bit too much. You start to notice her letting loose and succumbing to the pain and pleasure. Her ass adjusts and unclenches while her body goes limp and surrenders its weight to your hands. You aren’t even close to cumming yourself, you can only imagine where this will end up. 

“I’m so close… Master, I’m so close, please…” In between moans, Haseul utters breathless warnings of her coming orgasm. You try to open your mouth but by then it’s too late, before even a single sound escapes from your lips, Haseul’s has made plenty. “FUCK! Oh, fuck! Master… I’m… ahhh—“ Her legs quiver and give way, leaving her entire weight to be held up through your two hands on her upper body. 

Another mess on your floor, another order disobeyed, another punishment waiting to be given. 

You pull out then pull Haseul by her hair towards you, forcing her to kneel down and face you head on. The sudden sharp pain pulls Haseul down from her high and the horror returns on her face. She slowly shakes her head as tears pour down once more, whispering between heavy breaths, “No… please… I’m sorry… Master, forgive me…”

“You can’t cum when I ask you to and then you cum when I tell you not to,” you say disappointedly, you send a quick text on your phone as you shake your head. “How many is that now, five? At least five times you couldn’t do what I told you to do? What happened, Haseul? You were doing just fine yesterday.” You simply sigh at Haseul who looks on with pure terror in her eyes opposing your rather blank stare. 

To you it’s all just a game, all just pleasure, but to Haseul it’s way beyond that—it’s worship, subservience, servitude. You couldn’t really care less who is kneeling down in front of you with the multitude of toys that you own but to Haseul, you’re her one and only, the only master she serves, the one she devotes herself to.

“Did you have a change of heart all of a sudden, are punishments the only thing you want now? Because that’s not that hard to give.” Your arm swings wide and your palm connects with her face, so strong it almost toppled her over. “See? It’s so simple. If that’s all you want then all you have to do is tell me, I don’t mind.” Your other arm mimics the same motion, equalizing the redness on Haseul’s cheeks.

Haseul just shakes her head, “N-No, Master. I… I wish to serve and follow you. But… punish me when I deserve it and right now I deserve to be punished, Master.” Haseul closes her eyes and braces herself for another hit which you gladly give, this one stronger than the previous, this one sending her falling to her side. Haseul catches herself then gets back to position, raising her head while on her knees, presenting her face to receive another slap.

Slap after slap befalls Haseul, her cheeks get redder and redder with some parts a deeper shade of red than her pale lips. You’ve lost count of how many slaps you have given by now but it’s gotten to the point where your palms start to sting. But no matter how many times you slap Haseul, no matter how many times she falls down, she remains relentless. Even with tears rolling down her face, Haseul doesn’t hesitate one bit to get back on her knees and present her face. That’s what you love about Haseul, the persistence she has even in the face of pain and disappointment, she keeps pushing through, all just to please you. But unfortunately for her, the amusement you have gotten from her tenacity doesn’t amount to the dissatisfaction she’s earned throughout the few hours you’ve been with her today.

You continue to release your pent up aggression through your palms connecting with her delicate cheeks but no matter how many you’ve given and how many you continue to give, it just isn’t enough. As much as you like to use Haseul as your outlet, the sheer amount of displeasure she’s given doesn’t make it as satisfying for you. No matter how strong or how often, it still never seems to be enough, it’s gotten to the point where the problem has outgrown its source.

You start to wind your arm back when your phone starts to ring. “I wonder who could that be,” you say rather rhetorically with a smirk on your face, the once lifeless and weak Haseul suddenly springs up as she hears the call incoming, dread and anxiety loom over her as the implication of your words mean anything but good news. “I’m sorry, Haseul, but today I’m just starting to doubt you. Thankfully there’s someone here who can help me fix that problem of yours.” You answer and on the screen pops up a very, very familiar face to the both of you.

A/N 2: poll - https://strawpoll.com/xVg7j76vrnr

[dustofthedailylife]

Masquerade Ball

→ Masterlist || → Taglist

Summary: You go to a masquerade ball with them.

Pairing: Kaeya, Ayato, Zhongli, Alhaitham x (gn!) Reader [separate]

Tags: Fluff, slight awkwardness in Alhaitham's part, Kaeya is a menace /pos

A/N: Happy Halloween! *wipes sweat off forehead* I actually managed to finish this in time (it's still the 31st here, so it counts!).

KAEYA

You sat at your work desk, trying to get through some important paperwork before the Knights of Favonius annual motto party later. This year's motto was 'masquerade ball'. Amber came up with the idea for it this year and everyone agreed to it. It certainly fitted the mystery surrounding the gloomy fall season and you already looked forward to it.

"Always the busy bee, I see.", you heard the familiar sultry voice of the Cavalry Captain resound through your office.

“Mhm, gotta get this done before the ball later because otherwise I won’t be able to get any of it done tomorrow.”, you replied as you continued to fill out the papers in front of you, just giving Kaeya a short glance. The real reason for that was that you couldn’t manage to look him in the eyes without becoming incredibly flustered, so you just acted terribly busy instead.

Kaeya walked over to your desk and leaned on it, grabbing something that was lying on the shelf behind you.

“Ooh, fancy. You have quite the taste I must admit!”

You wondered what he was talking about this time and turned around with a slightly playful eyeroll, until you saw what he had grabbed.

“Hey! Give that back!”, you protested and tried to snatch you mask for tonight out of his hand before he held it out of your reach. “Kaeya! Man, now I have to get a new one before tonight as well since it says in the invitation that no one is supposed to see them prior.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem, sweetheart. I’ll be on guard duty tonight, so sadly no anonymous makeout session for me.”, he playfully pouted.

“Oh come on! I know you’re not one to make out at a public event like that. You don’t have it in you”, you teased.

“Oho, well would you look at that. Being all cocky. I’ll show you. I’ll manage to get a kiss from someone and if I do you, hmm - you do my paperwork for a week. If you manage to get a kiss, I'll do yours.”

“Pft. Deal.”, you agreed with him and yanked your mask out of his hands again. "I'm not going to lose, Mr. Alberich. Plan some overtime already." There was no way in Celestia you would lose this. You knew that he had this flirty, extroverted exterior but you had seen right through that fast, he was quite the opposite. So you were sure he wouldn't just let himself be kissed anyone. Although the thought of him being kissed by someone else made a hint of jealousy flare up in your chest. But you couldn't back out of this now without making it blatantly obvious that you were interested in him. Besides, he was on guard duty anyway so you had more chances than he would.

Later that night you arrived at the venue, all dressed up and your face hidden by your mask. As you entered you were surprised that you didn't even recognize a single person right away. Everyone had done their job well, and most had even gone as far as to cover their hair with a veil or hood.

You slowly walked over to the bar, thinking that getting some dandelion wine into your system would surely help with your mission tonight. The good thing about this whole ordeal with the masks was that no matter who you'd end up kissing, they'd have no idea who you were and vice versa. Would definitely avoid awkward run-ins in the city later.

You ordered a drink and sat down at the bar, slowly sipping it while looking around the room. Kaeya had mentioned he was on guard duty tonight but you hadn’t seen him anywhere yet. At least he hadn’t been at the entrance when you arrived.

“This is for you.” The barkeep suddenly appeared in front of you again, sliding you another drink.

“I didn’t order anything new yet?”, you remarked in confusion. 

“This kind sir wanted to buy you a drink.” The barkeep just nodded his head to the side in reply. Following the direction he indicated, you spotted a man at the bar in a white suit with a blue mask covering his face and a hood pulled over his head. As soon as he caught you looking over at him he raised his own glass and smiled sheepishly. You returned the smile and nodded at him to thank him for the drink, as you used the opportunity to check him out a little; and you had to admit, it made you curious who was below that mask.

You downed a couple of drinks in silence, wordlessly communicating with the mysterious man until he started approaching you and stretched out a hand.

“Would you allow me a dance?”, the masked man asked; and for some reason, he seemed so familiar, yet you couldn’t place where you knew him from. You gently placed your hand in his letting him lead you to the dancefloor where he pulled you closer and gently placed a hand on the small of your back. If you had to make a wild guess, your opportunity to steal a kiss tonight just increased by a tenfold.

You looked up at the man who slow-danced with you to the gentle harp music that filled the air and teasingly bit down on your lip. You were honestly surprised about your own boldness but blamed the alcohol in your system for that, since it had made you slightly tipsy. You crossed your arms behind his neck and pulled him a little closer. He nudged your chin up with one of his gloved fingers as he brought his face down to yours, a smirk showing below his 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔.

“May I?”, he whispered against your lips.

But you didn’t even bother to reply as you took it into your own hands and closed the gap between your lips. You shut your eyes and pressed your lips against his soft ones, melting into the kiss and continuing to move in unison to the slow rhythm of the harp music playing in the background.

“Hmm.”, he hummed, a sly smirk forming around his lips as he leaned his forehead against yours. “I guess that’s me taking the win then since I got kissed. To imagine I would’ve been so nice and would’ve handed the win to you. Prepare for some overtime, sweetheart.”

You startled at his words, trying to piece together what he had just said to you until everything started to fall into place.

“Kaeya?!”

“Bingo!”

“I thought you were on guard duty?!”

“Hmm, yeah I remember telling you something like that. Evil tongues would claim I said that on purpose to set you up after I saw what your 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔 looked like. And evil tongues would also say I did that on purpose, because I’ve been meaning to kiss you for so long already.”

The way he spoke became softer and softer with every word he ushered, again closing the distance between your faces. You could feel your heartbeat quicken as you saw his star-shaped pupil peek through the holes of his 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔, confirming his identity once and for all. His breath fanned over your lips once more as he took your chin in between his thumb and index finger, making the butterflies in your stomach flutter about wildly.

“Now that this is out of the way… may I kiss you again?”

AYATO

“You look absolutely gorgeous!”, your maid gasped in awe at the attire that she had painstakingly helped you put on.

You just hummed in annoyance, fiddling around with the clothes that felt like they were going to suffocate you any second. You hated it, and it was very much visible on your face as well.

“Come on, what’s the long face for?”

“I do not want this, I do not want to wear this shitty outfit, and I very much do not want to meet my suitor.”, you complained.

Today was the day of the ball that your father had arranged for your engagement with a man you have never seen before and you were supposed to be wed to him soon. And of all things he could have planned, it was a masquerade ball and you were the only one not getting to hide behind a mask. It keeps the tension until I reveal him to you at the end, he said. Tch. As if you’d care.

The only thing you knew about him was that his name was Kamisato Ayato and that he was supposed to be some noble from Inazuma. And going off of the nobles you’ve had the “pleasure” to meet in the past, it had never been an enjoyable experience. To imagine you’d be wed to a snot like that soon had you wanting to chuck up on the carpet right then and there.

“I’m sure you will grow to like him. Just like your mother did your father.”

“Pft, whatever.”, you scoffed, ripping the gloves out of her hand and rushing out of the room towards the ballroom. The faster you got there the faster you could get this over with.

The moment you entered the room, everyone suddenly went silent and looked over at you. Some people started clapping others bowed their heads as you passed them. If you didn’t already feel uncomfortable before, now you surely would’ve and all you wanted right at this moment was to flee the scene again as fast as possible.

You looked around for an escape route to get away from the center of attention and spotted the open balcony door. You hastily made your way through the crowd, trying to strike up as few conversations as humanly possible on the way, before you could finally breathe in the fresh evening air outside. 

You exhaled in relief and sat down on the railing, leaning your back against one of the giant flower pots, and stared into the darkness of the garden in front of the balcony. A lot of feelings swirled around your chest and if you had to pinpoint one it would be humiliation. You felt humiliated, exposed, and presented like cattle to the slaughterhouse, ready to be sold.

“Are you also trying to get away from the horde inside?”, a voice suddenly rang through the night from behind you. You couldn’t even get one minute of peace and quiet, could you? You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes before you briefly checked who had followed you outside. It was a man with pastel blue hair, he was dressed in a white suit with blue accents and wore a matching mask over his face.

“Mhm.”, you just hummed in agreement, staring at him in slight annoyance.

“Judging by the lack of anything covering your face I presume you’re the one who is to be wed?”

“Yup.”, you sighed.

“May I offer you something to drink? I brought another one for you.”, he said and held out the glass for you to grab. You complied and thanked him for the drink as he stepped a little closer, leaning on the railing next to you in silence. For the first time this evening, the presence of another person didn’t feel suffocating and even pleasant. It was incredible how some stranger could make you feel better pretty much instantly, especially giving the circumstances of the evening.

“Thank you.. for the drink.”, you said after a moment of silence.

“My pleasure.”, he nodded, leaving you to your thoughts once more. You were surprised how he was the first person you’ve run into who didn’t want to pry into your thoughts, mood, or feelings.

“What bring you here?”, you decided to ask after a while.

“Same as you. Fleeing the scene. I can leave if my presence happens to bother you?”

“No, not at all actually. I find it quite comforting to know someone isn’t just around me because of who I am and in order to gain favors.”

“Does that happen a lot?”, he inquired, stepping a little closer to you, elegantly leaning his hip against the railing to be able to face you.

“A lot? Even saying all the time would be an understatement at this point.”, your voice dropped to a frustrated whisper. Your gaze wandered over to the windows that presented the scene of the brightly lit ballroom that was filled with a huge crowd of nobles from all across Teyvat. “I hate this… all of it. I don’t want to get married to one of them. Each and every one of them is worse than the other. Just putting on a good face to win favors for their own gain. I detest this lifestyle. Just knowing my soon-to-be husband is in there somewhere, probably bootlicking my father, makes me want to throw up.”, you scoffed.

He remained silent, listening to your vent and just lending you his ear to help you lift off these stones that had been weighing down your chest all evening.

“You know, I was invited, too. So you indirectly refer to me as one of them as well.”, he remarked with an amused undertone in his voice, pointing in the direction of the ballroom.

“No. I can’t describe how but you seem different, just like me... Honestly? You might be the first person I’ve ever felt comfortable around on occasions like these.”

“Well, I appreciate the compliment.”

Your heart suddenly grew heavy as you looked upon the stranger by your side again. You could have fallen in love with someone like him and lived your life how you wanted, but thanks to your status that freedom would never be granted to you.

“I’d rather marry you on a whim and run away than whatever kind of arrogant noble is waiting for me inside.”, you whispered in a way it was almost inaudible but he caught it nonetheless. He huffed in amusement, took another sip from his drink, and closed his eyes, seemingly pondering on something.

“I’m sure you and him will be more alike than you think.”, he remarked after a while with a soft but playful smile around his lips.

“Do you know him?”

“You could say I do.”

ZHONGLI

“I got you a date for the masquerade ball tonight!”, Hu Tao cheered as she stormed into your store.

“Wait, wait, wait! Hold on, you got me a what?!”, you asked in disbelief.

“A date, doofus!”

“And why would you do that?”

You knew Hu Tao was a character but that she would actually go so far as to actually organize a date for you was... baffling.

“Well, you’ve been going on about how you’d like to go to the ball all week and whined that you had no one to go with, so, I took matters into my own hands.”

“And who am I going with then?”

“Hehe, you’ll see.”, she chuckled, winking at you before storming out of your store again. “He is going to pick you up at 7! Later!”

This woman was unbelievable. Needless to say, you closed your store a little earlier today to get ready for the ball and to mentally prepare yourself for your blind date. You had just gotten all dressed up, when you heard a knock on your door. 

You felt your heart drumming against your chest as you went to open it and it even threatened to spontaneously combust as soon as you saw who was actually standing in front of it. It was none other than Zhongli, the Consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor and, what Hu Tao very much knew as well, your long-time crush. You didn’t know whether to thank her or curse her for this but the answer was probably lying somewhere in the middle.

“Good evening!”, Zhongli greeted and grabbed your hand to place a soft kiss on the back of your hand.

“Hi.”, you breathed out, almost too stunned to speak. You swore he looked even more handsome than usual. He was wearing his signature coat that was glistening almost magically under the light of the full moon.

“You look breathtaking dear.”, he complimented and held out his arm for you to take. “Shall we be off then?”

You nodded and linked your arms with his as you made your way to the venue. At first, you were nervous that you wouldn’t know what to talk about with him but it turned out that talking to him was quite easy. He seemed to be an endless fountain of knowledge and topics to talk about. Not a single moment had been awkward ever since he picked you up. You were sure you had fallen for him even more that night, and you were sure that wasn't even possible before tonight.

As you arrived at the venue a lot of people were already there and slow-dancing to the music.

“Are you ready?”, Zhongli asked, lovingly brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. You nodded at him and smiled widely as you donned your 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔s together.

You walked into the ballroom hand in hand, his gloved hand perfectly embracing yours, almost as if it was made for you, as you took in all the impressions of your surroundings. Slow music was playing, lots of delicious snacks were standing atop a buffet and waiters dashed all across the room, handing out drinks to people.

“Would you allow me this dance?”, Zhongli suddenly asked as he held up your hand and bowed down before you.

“It would be my pleasure.”

He led you to the dancefloor, pulling your flush against his chest, placing his hands on both sides of your hips slowly swaying your bodies to the rhythm of the music. You leaned your head against his chest, making out the faint drum of his heart through the fabric of his coat and inhaling his homely scent that reminded you of sandalwood and damp earth on a warm summer day.

“I’m sorry that Hu Tao forced you to accompany me to the ball tonight.”, you apologized. “I have to admit I was a bit embarrassed when she told me. It definitely wasn’t my idea.”, you tried to explain, feeling your cheeks heat up under his amber gaze.

“Oh, do not trouble yourself with that, dear. In fact, it was me who proposed it to her.”

“Y-you did?!”, you stammered in surprise and looked up to scan his face for the truth.

“I did and I hope I won’t scare you off when I tell you that I’ve been meaning to ask you out for a while already. I couldn't let this golden opportunity pass.”

A soft smile played around his lips and you could feel his grip tighten a bit more around your hips. You returned the smile and locked your arms behind his neck, feeling your heartbeat quicken as you did.

“I’m very happy to hear that Zhongli. I can assure you that I feel similar.”, you shyly whispered and looked down to the ground. You were secretly thankful for the 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔 covering your face which hid your flustered state from him. He lifted one of his gloved hands to your chin and lifted it up, making you look into his eyes behind his 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔.

“May I kiss you?”, he whispered against your lips as he closed the distance between your faces.

“You may.”, you managed to reply before you could already feel his lips uniting with yours tenderly. His hand cupped your cheek gently and he rubbed soft circles over it with his thumb as he continued to gently sway you to the rhythm of the music.

“I would like to repeat this in the future if you’d allow me.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

ALHAITHAM

“How do I look?”, you asked, nervously pulling and picking around on your outfit.

“Stop being so nervous. You look stunning!”, your best friend replied. She had been the one who had the idea to come here today. The Akademia was organizing a masquerade ball in celebration of the graduation this semester. You didn’t want to go at first because you heard Alhaitham wouldn’t come here today, but your friend basically forced you to, so now you were here.

“You’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?”

“Well… yes!”

“Stop it and enjoy yourself tonight! At least try… please?”, she grabbed your hands and squeezed them tightly. You hesitantly nodded and we're promptly pulled inside by her.

“See, was that so hard? Now then, let’s enjoy ourselves!”

She spun around on her heel and danced off into the crowd. You tried to hurry after her but lost her faster than the eyes could see. Just great, you thought to yourself. Not you not only did you not want to be here, but you also immediately lost the person who made you come here in the first place. 

You walked around the room like a headless chicken for a while, hoping you’d find your friend again but you knew her; once she was off somewhere, she was gone for the night. This left you with the only option of trying to find something to occupy yourself with on your own.

You spotted a group of comfy-looking benches outside next to some patio heaters. And the best part was that in that corner was also the table with the drinks and snacks.

You grabbed some of the snacks and plopped down on one of the benches, exhaling in annoyance. This was going to be a long evening.

“Am I correct in the assumption that it is equally unpleasant for you to be here as it is for me?”, a voice from your right asserted. As your gaze followed the direction it was coming from, you spotted a tall man with a turquoise-green 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔 and a light-grey suit with matching ornaments. He was seated on the bench next to yours and was unamusedly sipped on his drink. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but he seemed extremely familiar for some strange reason.

“Yeah well, my friend forced me to come here tonight when I could be neck-deep in some research instead now. As you can see, I lost her and now I’m here.”

“Sounds familiar.”, he hummed. “Which Darshan do you belong to if you don't mind me asking?”

“Oh, uhm– Haravatat. I am working on translating an ancient rune text we found recently and progress has unfortunately been rather stagnant lately. So, yeah… I’m probably making a fool out of myself in front of the other scholars already. Especially the Grand Scribe… Alhaitham, you’ve probably heard of him?”

“You could say we’ve met. Why would you think you’re making a fool out of yourself?”, he asked in genuine curiosity.

“Well, I’m absolutely horrible when it comes to presenting stuff and I start stuttering like an idiot and whenever I talk about my findings with the Scribe he just looks at my papers with strict scrutiny… and he never really says anything positive, he usually just points out my mistakes and… uh– forgive me, I’m talking too much again.”, you apologized and waved it off in embarrassment, scratching the back of your neck. 

“Hm. Why do you care so much about what he thinks?”, he inquired. Should you pour your heart out to some random stranger who probably doesn’t even care about your love struggles? Could be a horrible idea, but at the same time, maybe it would help to open up about it to someone who isn’t involved in it.

“Well, uh– this is kind of embarrassing but would it be weird if I said I value him beyond working together?”

“What do you mean?”

“I–I really like him and have had this massive crush on him for a long time now and I value his opinion above anyone else’s. I don’t want to seem like the dumbest idiot in the entire Haravatat Darshan to him.”

The silence that followed your rambling was almost deafening and you immediately felt embarrassed for opening up. He probably didn’t want to hear any of what you just dumped on him. Of course he wouldn’t know what to reply to that. You must look absolutely pathetic.

“There you are!!”, you heard the familiar voice of your friend ring in your ears as she rushed towards you, slinging her arms around your neck in a clumsy hug. She was already a little tipsy and seemingly had the time of her life. “I’ve been looking for you! You were gone all of a sudden and then I ran into someone and we kinda… had some drinks and we both lost our friends.”, she giggled.

“Yeah a few too many drinks, it seems.”, you replied looking at the guy who trailed not too far behind her. He was a tall blonde wearing a white shirt with a red cape hanging down his shoulders. A 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔 that matched the rest of his attire was covering his face.

“Kaveh, this is my friend.”, she introduced you. “I think you two would get along well.”

Before anyone could speak further you saw the man you had been talking to until just a minute ago stand up from the bench beside you in order to leave. You were still a bit embarrassed that he didn’t even say anything anymore after you had dumped all that on him.

“Alhaitham?! You’re here, too! What a coincidence.”, Kaveh suddenly exclaimed in surprise. Making just said man you poured your heart out to a minute ago, halt in his tracks. Oh archons, no.

“I’ve been looking for you!” Kaveh walked over to him patting his shoulder. You were sure your worst nightmare had just come true. He wasn’t supposed to be here tonight but it turns out his friend also dragged him here.

“Mhm.”, Alhaitham hummed and you saw him looking your way seeing how a dust of pink decorated his cheeks below his 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔.

“Since we’re all together here, Alhaitham this is…”

“We’ve talked already. We’re in the same Darshan.”, he interrupted Kaveh.

You jumped up in shock, unsure whether you should run away, and drop out of the Akademia right away in order to prevent further embarrassment or not.

“Oh, splendid!”, Kaveh cheered. “Let's head back inside everyone.”

Your friend and Kaveh rushed off together again as you stood there, your feet feeling like they were cemented to the ground. You opened your mouth in order to apologize for what you unknowingly had said to Alhaitham before, but he beat you to it.

“I’m sorry for making you feel like a fool about your research. It was never my intention. In fact, what you’ve achieved so far is quite remarkable and I've always attempted to make you achieve even more and better results... And I also think I'd like to talk about your... other interests in me.”

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always greatly appreciated! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

A/N: Sorry for the reposts, tumblr decided to be a pain in the bum and not show this in the tags. If you see this now it probably worked ;_;

[chaepu]

All I Want - Huh Yunjin

pairing: huh yunjin x reader tags: soloist!reader genre: fluff, mostly angst

"This is a song I wrote a few days ago about a dark time in my life. I lost one of the most important people in my life for reasons I still don't understand. I sing this song for all of those who have felt the pain of heartbreak and hope." You said to a screaming arena as you softly started strumming your guitar.

All I want is nothing more Than to hear you knocking at my door 'Cause if I could see your face once more I could die a happy man I'm sure

It was three weeks you remembered. Three weeks ago, Yunjin walked out on you. Three weeks of tears and confusion. Three weeks of saddened hope that she'd be at your front door, ready to come back into your life.

When you said your last goodbye I died a little bit inside I lay in tears in bed all night Alone without you by my side

"Goodbye Y/N," were the last words that left Yunjin's mouth before she also exited your apartment and life. After an hour long conversation that evidently broke your relationship, you knew the end was coming. All signs were pointing to over. When those two words left her mouth, every part of your body ached. You spent the rest of your night crying in the emptiness of your room.

But If you loved me Why'd you leave me? Take my body Take my body All I want is And all I need is To find somebody I'll find somebody like you

"Do you even love me?" you quietly asked her with tears streaming down your face. The vulnerability in your voice not only breaking you, but her as well.

"Of course I love you, Y/N. You are and will always be the love of my life," she said as she lifted up your chin so you'd both be looking at each other. Glossy eyes staring at each other, makeup running down both cheeks.

"Then why are you leaving? Why are you leaving me? Where did I go wrong?" you yelled at her, standing up. You started pacing back and forth wondering if she loves you like she's saying she is, why is she stomping on your heart right now. It makes no sense.

"You did nothing wrong! I just can't handle this anymore," she vaguely said.

"What is there to handle? Am I too much for you? Is it because of who I used to be, because you know I'm not like that anymore. I've changed." you said. You needed answers to the questions you've asked but she wasn't giving them to you.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore. Goodbye Y/N." and that was the end of that conversation. In a swift move, a relationship of two years was thrown into the drain. She left you lost, confused, and broken.

So you brought out the best of me A part of me I've never seen You took my soul and wiped it clean Our love was made for movie screens

It's no secret that your reputation is a little tarnished. You were thrown in the music industry when you were in your teen years, making you grow up faster than intended. You hated the industry so you did everything in your power to make them hate you, but that's what ultimately made the tabloids love you. It was until you met Yunjin at a photoshoot you were scheduled for that changed your life.

"If it's not the famous badass, rude ass, Y/N L/N," you heard a voice behind you say. You turned around ready to give whoever it was a piece of your mind because how do you just call someone rude, but was quickly stopped when you realized who it was.

"Huh Yunjin, it is. A pleasure to meet a pretty lady like you." you flirted. "Will you be my partner for this shoot because if yes, God bless." It was no secret that you had a crush on Yunjin. She was your go-to crush when asked in interviews and you're pretty sure she knows because you always get tweets from both your fans asking if you're together, she must've seen them.

She laughed. "Well aren't you the charmer. I've heard many things about you," she slyly spoke.

"All good things I hope."

"I wouldn't say that."

"Well, how about I change your mind over dinner?" you confidently asked, while on the inside, screaming. If she shut you down, your confidence would forever be ruined.

"I actually would. Dinner with a badass, my dream," she joked.

And that's how your relationship sparked. You guys spent the night laughing, running around the beach, and more. More dates happened after that night and you evidently asked her to be your girlfriend, making you guys exclusive. The tabloids were in a frenzy. HUH YUNJIN HOLDS DOWN Y/N L/N. You laughed at those headlines, but only if they knew.

It's been a few months into your relationship and you both were out in New York, grabbing lunch. You didn't know how the paparazzi found out where you were going but there were tens of them, snapping your pictures from feet away. They were in the way of the door, screaming questions at you guys. HOW'S THE RELATIONSHIP GOING? Y/N, WE HEARD RUMORS THAT YOU'RE CHEATING ON YUNJIN, CARE TO COMMENT? YUNJIN, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE Y/N. At this moment, you were about to deck someone in the mouth. You turned around ready to spew some words at the annoying photographers, but you felt someone pulling you back. You turned to see Yunjin pleading you through her eyes not to do whatever you were planning on doing. You knew that the tabloids already give her a lot of shit for dating you in the first place so you grabbed her hand and pushed through the crowd of flashes.

"Thank you," she said. That's all you needed to hear to calm you down. That's also when you knew Yunjin was someone who was going to change your life for the better. She makes you a better person.

After that, you both headed on over to a children's hospital that your manager wanted you guys to go to because there was a little girl who had one wish and it was to meet you. You honestly don't know why she'd waste one wish on you because you put up a pretty good facade for everyone to see, but you went to see her anyway.

You walked into the room with Yunjin behind you and the little girl lit up. She was attached to tubes and wires but she was so excited to see you and even more when she saw Yunjin.

"Hey sweetie, I read your letter and wanted to come and finally meet my biggest fan," you said while hugging the ecstatic child. You guys stayed there until visiting hours were over, playing with the little girl and singing to her. You looked over to see that she was asleep and that's when you and Yunjin both left. As you were leaving Yunjin stopped you,

"I really wish people saw this side of you, babe. You're a good person and I want the world to know that," she said to you while hugging you. "I love you," she said.

You had tears weld up in your eyes. You didn't say anything, but Yunjin knew how grateful you were for her.

All I want is And all I need is To find somebody I'll find somebody

After that night Yunjin broke up with you, your best friend Somi has been trying to set you up on dates. You told her it was too soon, but the girl disagreed. You went on many low-key dates, but every time you went on them, you couldn't stopped thinking about the singer. Every one of those dates, you looked for a piece of Yunjin in them. You wanted someone like Yunjin, but in reality, you just wanted her. It was getting sad, so you called off the dates and told Somi to stop.

If you loved me Why'd you leave me? Take my body Take my body All I want is All I need is To find somebody I'll find somebody like you

You closed your eyes as you sang the last chorus to the fans below you. Your voice was getting shaky and everyone was on edge. They knew who the song was about, they felt your pain. It was a shock on the internet when they found out that you and Yunjin were no longer a thing. Many fans sent you messages in hopes of cheering you up, but sadly failing. You ended the song and the crowd began to roar. You were grateful for all of them. They stood by you when you were an ass to the world and they're standing by you now. You were grateful for Yunjin because she made you who you were. She changed you for the better. You haven't heard from her since that night. You hold no resentment towards her. You are still in love with her and hope she does the best in her life, but all you wanted was for her to come back to you.

--

a/n: hi everyone! this is my first post on this blog. i hope you enjoyed!

this is a repurposed imagine from my wattpad account back from 2015, so if you've stumbled upon it anytime in your life, that is why. i decided to change it to a kpop idol though because that's what i will be writing about as of now :)

i will be repurposing the few stories i have from there and then posting some newer stuff i've written.

i am new with the whole tumblr posting (it's much easier on wattpad) so hopefully i'm doing everything right. styling may change in the future as i'm still figuring everything out.

thank you again!

[lqtraintracks]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @maesterchill @danpuff-ao3 and @nv-md for the tag! <333

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

314

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,295,054

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter is the big one. I've also written some Captive Prince, Locked Tomb, and one Call Me By Your Name fic

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Right Hand Red; Hung Like a Horntail; Slip Into My Lover's Hands; Weeds or Wildflowers (written with the very talented @unmistakablyoatmeal); and check this hand 'cause I'm marvelous

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try. I'm seriously behind. The truth is, I'll never get around to replying to them all. I will someday die with a thousand unanswered comments. But I do try. And I read each and every one and they touch my heart. I'm so very grateful for all the wonderful comments I've received and continue to receive!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oof. I hardly ever end things badly. But there was one wee ficlet; lemme go hunt it down. (*plays elevator music*) Ah, here it is: Not-Forever Is Still Forever. It's not MCD or anything. Draco just leaves for Argentina for two years. *shrug emoji* But I like to think I've gotten pretty good at baking some realistic angst into the middle of things, if not writing angty endings. I prefer it that way.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them except for Burning the Ground, which is an open ending. I'll be honest, I don't like the word fluff. I'm never trying to write fluff, which, to me, denotes a level of uncomplicated sweetness. Maybe others define it differently. But I don't think happy endings are necessarily fluffy. I want my happy endings to put tears in your eyes, to move you. I want to evoke different things with different sorts of happiness for different phases of life. RHR's ending is about a feeling of freedom mostly, of getting to face the next part of their lives without dread. Take You Home has a similar vibe but with them a bit older; they've experienced the painful and mundane disappointments you have to weather in this life that have nothing to do with fighting a dark wizard and everything to do with existential questions about who we are, how we go on, what do you do when it doesn't work out, when you've changed and you don't know who you are anymore. I loved ending it with all their friends, at a march for trans rights. Heart Like Neon has an ending that makes *me* the most happy. I modeled it after an episode of Grey's Anatomy where you find out at the end of the ep that two important characters got married. The whole ep, none of their friends know, then at the end they play 'Bones' by Josh Record, and you go back in time by a few weeks and you see it. When I wrote the end of HLN, I had that song playing in my head from the end of the party at the Weasley's, to jumping three months earlier, to Harry and Draco in Paris. That's a pretty goddamned happy ending. It makes me cry. <3 (Also the art that @bluebutter-art made for it makes me bawl happy tears!!!)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I was going to say hardly ever but then I *just* got some last week! LOL. Still, I'm very lucky that it's not even once in a blue moon. That stuff is so arbitrary too. I'm going to quote my good friend @elrhiarhodan: People... they're fuckin nuts. :D

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

LOL yes. A lot of different kinds? I want to try a little of everything as a writer.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No. I mean, I probably have a couple times over the course of my literal decades in some fandom or other, but they're not worth noting.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, several, and into multiple languages. I think that's so cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Definitely! In HP I've written with sdk, @the-starryknight and @nv-md, plus I once did a wild round robin with a big group of people. I'm not good at round robins, I've realized. Too much of a control freak.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Drarry, totally. But right up there is Harry/Teddy and Harry/Teddy/Draco. Then Ginny/Pansy, Charlie/Teddy, James Sirius/Albus Severus (with Teddy too sometimes). In CaPri, I love Damen/Laurent, but @linecrosser had totally made me ship when Damen lends Laurent out to Nikandros for a threesome and also Auguste/Laurent. I also hardcore ship my own original characters from my novel. <3

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't do WiPs really.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oof, this is tough. Pacing? Interpersonal relationships? Smut, for sure. LOL. I think I do well writing things that are transgressive or maybe even filthy with a lot of tenderness and compassion and deep, deep love mixed in. And I think I'm getting really good at making people cry when I want them to. Readers, that is. :D

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Convoluted plots. Can't do them. I wish I could. I can't write a mystery to save my life. I'm also pretty bad at heavy angst. I also wish I could write something nonlinear, but my brain just doesn't work that way.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's interesting that this is a question because it's meaningful to me not because of fic but because of my novel. I have a Spanish-speaking character, fluent in English, but sometimes he says things in Spanish. I'm very VERY lucky that @capiturecs read my novel both as a sensitivity reader for Latinx/Latine/Latino aspects but also to correct my Spanish and make it realistic and conversational! I'll be forever grateful! I also now really REALLY want to learn Spanish! <3

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sorry, I don't share this publicly.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh this is mean. This is cruel. I can't possibly answer this! RHR has got to be in there. Heart Like Neon. Blood and Fire. Phoenix in the Fire. Take You Home. Wonderful Electric (cover me in you). A Pain of Our Choosing. My Name in Your Mouth. Bloom. collarbones like a bow, skin an arrow to the heart. I'll stop there!

Okay, this was fun! I'll tag @corvuscrowned @ruinsplume @floydig @sweet-s0rr0w @lettersbyelise @magpiefngrl @skeptiquewrites and Elr! <3

[wikiangela]

Weekend WIP Game

tagged by @jesuisici33 <3

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)

1. WIP List:

alive shannon

sick eddie

buddie coffee shop

new buddie chris' school

roommates

bi eddie

buddie death cast fic

cheating fic

untitled natalia fic

buddie 2x01

5+1 nicknames

coffee buddie

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

alive shannon with 20k words so far

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

alive shannon, since it's kinda a canon rewrite and I still haven't decided to which point it's gonna go, we'll see when it'll feel right to end it haha

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

once again, alive shannon haha - it's just so fun to explore what all those dynamics could've been, and giving Eddie and Shannon some closure, and I love exploring Shannon's character, too, speculating on her thoughts and motivations, and diving into everyone's heads, and I'm so excited to see it all develop!!

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

I think it's either alive shannon or the cheating fic alive shannon bc I've never written s2/s3 buddie and I wanna get their characters semi-right, and I don't remember a lot of details so I need to get on with my rewatch lol - and also writing Shannon's and Eddie's feelings on their relationship and how it all ended is not easy haha and the cheating fic bc it's so not my thing but a song inspired it and it got stuck in my head and it's happening haha and I hope I'll make it make sense haha

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

tbh all of them - some more, some less, but there are moments, especially lately, when veeeery often I'm just like: everything I write sucks wtf

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

@giddyupbuck agreed to beta the alive shannon fic, and I spam them with snippets if I'm in doubt and it's sooo helpful fr ily <3 and I'll need alive shannon beta-read bc it's gonna be so long, and I keep changing my mind about things bc of how many ideas I have, so I just need someone else to look at it and tell me if everything makes sense haha - and Ro's helped me so much with some previous fics so they have my full trust with my baby that is the alive shannon fic haha

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

all of them at some point lol - a few of these are actually on hold bc of that - I will get back to them tho!

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

as of now there's no ocs in any of these, but we'll see haha

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

cheating fic and maaaaybe coffee buddie (if I'll ever get back to this one) - no actual smut in my wips yet atm

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

buddie death cast fic - if you've read 'they both die at the end' you know why lol this is not gonna have a happy ending

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

so far I'm loving everyone in alive shannon so I guess let's go with that haha

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

oh I am so bad this - but maybe let's say buddie coffee shop au bc i think it's the only one where I put even a little bit of focus on the setting lmao

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

alive shannon, been thinking about it and making notes for months before I started writing, and I don't think i've ever been this invested in a fic

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

alive shannon - - like I said, it's my most precious baby, and I'm so excited to not only write it but read it, and I hope it's gonna be as good as it is in my head, and I hope I'll make the story make sense with Shannon there, but also keeping some important buddie moments from canon hah

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

not sure if i've ever dreamt about a wip, but i do get new ideas in my sleep sometimes lol

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

alive shannon will have switching povs which i rarely do, so it's gonna be a challenge to write three distinct voices - and diving into Shannon's head and feelings and motivations will also definitely be hard

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

I think sick eddie - he's so ridiculously stubborn and difficult istg haha or buddie coffee shop with how fucking awkward buck's being

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

yep, once again, alive shannon - it's as much a buddie fic as it is a shannon fic, so it's not exactly outside pov, bc I'm just excited to focus on her equally as much, on how she's settling into their lives, becoming a better mom, being involved in Chris' life - she's gonna have as much focus as buddie sns it's not easy, bc it's alternating povs and once I get stuck in Eddie's head it's hard to leave, but so far it's been fun

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs

uhhh, I think I share like everything lol okay, so maybe: alive shannon will definitely go at least up until s4 and will include Eddie dating Ana 👀 purely bc I want a buddie-shipping Shannon to be like wtf eddie??? also, there will be more than one mcd in the death cast fic and coffee buddie was loosely inspired by a small thing from luke cage lol

no pressure tags: @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @eddiediaztho @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @ladydorian05 @forthewolves @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @theotherbuckley @weewootruck @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @loserdiaz @underwater-ninja-13 @giddyupbuck @hippolotamus @eowon @callaplums @spotsandsocks

[thequibblah]

20 q's for fic writers

thank u to the beloveds @kay-elle-cee and @clare-with-no-i for the tags!

AO3 Username: thequibblah

1. How many works do you have on A03? 28!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 1,057,741.... oh it's word city

3. What fandoms do you write for? Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, other stuff i have in the good old back pocket

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

ye olde come together

tell me where your secrets lie

even just to reach is a triumph (WHAT? i swear this happened behind my back)

if we never meet again

put a bow on it

5. Do you respond to comments? i HAVE to. if i don't i'll perish

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i don't really write angst honestly. and i also don't really write about jily dying so that rules out a gimme. i suppose certain sharp things is the closest i get

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? all of the others?? i suppose in terms of sheer happiness delirium energy, probably blink three times

8. Do you get hate on fics? no thank goodness lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? sometimes and only when i feel insane. more and more i feel like i am only compelled to write smut/a smutty scene if it feels like the twist of a knife. im normal <3

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? no i once did a lot of musing about what makes a crossover vs an au because i have a couple of fics that import lore/world etc from other media. but i think those qualify as au and not crossover so no i do not write that and i feel i'm unlikely to

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? no thank goodness x2

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? just the one come together french translation dogspeed on that one fr

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? naur…

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? well jily's really what i've read and written most throughout my nerd career, so i suppose that's the answer. there are funny rabbit holes i will dive down tho (ask me about my ready or not phase)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? lmao

16. What are your writing strengths? dialogue and voice, plot (ish...), worldbuilding, high-concept premises

17. What are your writing weaknesses? DON'T HAVE ANY! jk i often bite off more than i can chew and struggle to actually pin down the scope and scale of a story; i don't edit myself as much as i should; I WISH I COULD DO FREE INDIRECT DISCOURSE BUT I CAN'T

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? literally do whatever bro

19. First fandom you wrote for? probably jily lmfao

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? come together is a labour of lovehate but i do have to say tell me where your secrets lie in terms of how happy with it as a single piece

tagging @ghostofbambifanfiction @emeralddoeadeer @sunshinemarauder if you haven't done this already <3

[nyoomerr]

How do you always pop out banger fics? I feel like everyone and their mothers in the fandom adore your fics and not one of your stuff has ever been a flop! Seriously, what's your secret??

djkhfg but more seriously, there have definitely been fics i've posted that i personally wasn't happy with at the time i posted them, or that i was really proud of but have indeed "flopped" when i posted them**

**recognizing that all success is relative, and considering a "flop" to be a lack in response compared to my other svsss fics from a similar time period

overall though, i have indeed been extremely lucky with how kindly this fandom has treated me and how much support my work gets... but mostly i do think that really is just luck 😅

if you just meant for this to be a very sweet compliment about how you like my stuff a lot, thank you so much, and feel free to stop reading here!! if you were genuine in asking "seriously, what's your secret," though, i do have some tips for fic writing!

first thing is for me to say that it is 100% the most important for you to personally be the #1 fan of your own stuff.

it's super fun that so many people like my fics! but it's mostly fun because it feels like i'm holding up a rock and screaming and everyone screams along with me - it would be a lot less exciting if i was holding up a rock and watching in silent indifference as everyone screamed at it, lol. writing stuff just because it's interesting to you will also help you avoid writing + fandom burnout, and people who read it will always be able to tell when you love what you're writing about.

i also personally think it's really important to see the things you like to completion, which includes either posting it somewhere or saving it alongside your finished works, whatever you personally do to metaphorically put a finished piece "on the fridge."

it is a wildly common experience for creatives to begin disliking their own work partway through the creative process, or to dislike it after it's done. but if you're creating something because you're personally excited about some aspect of it, then you theoretically enjoyed something about that work at some point in time. and, with enough time and distance from it, you'll probably end up liking it again in the future!

if you've made sure to put that work "on the fridge" somewhere it's safe and marked as 'done' in your own mind, then you'll get the chance to create that time and distance. it's not sitting in some guilt-ridden folder of abandoned wips, or discarded because you were never able to write or edit it to your satisfaction - it's just 'done.' i can't count how many times i've come back to a piece i disliked at the time of finishing it and, months later, decided it was actually pretty good.

so - put your work on the fridge, even if you're not satisfied with it! and when your brain is able to let it go, reread it. find the parts that made you write it in the first place, the stuff that got you really excited, and let them excite you again, and inspire you to write even more!!

okok so that's a) write what you like and b) don't give up on your hard work. now i'll address the last bit that touches on fandom reception of your work... 💦💦

... i really do think it's mostly luck 😅

the very first fic i posted on this ao3 account is, without doubt, still my most popular one. i could talk about how i feel about that for a whole separate essay post lmao, but it is a good example of how fic "popularity" often works.

i was still on twitter at the time that i made it, which was where most of the mxtx fans were at. a promo post i made got retweeted by a handful of people with big followings, and that combined with the fact that there were way less binggeyuan fics at the time meant that it kinda hit it big. and since so many people sort by kudos or bookmarks, fics that are already popular just end up more popular...

i think a lot of popular fics are like this to some degree. they use the right tags and post at the right time to get seen by just the right audience, or there's a promo tweet/post somewhere that lands on just the right number of dashes, and their popularity snowballs. of course, these popular fics are also often absolutely fucking incredible and worthy of their popularity, but i've also read fics with very very little "popularity" that are just as good or better than some of the top kudosed or bookmarked fics in the tag.

the only thing i have ever (personally) noticed as something you can control that affects popularity is fic length - from what i've seen in both my fics and those others write, multichaptered fics that update semi regularly and stretch on for multiple months have a tendency to drum up more excitement the longer they go. people start to get more excited for each update + they talk about that on socmed, and that combined with consistently bumping the fic to the top of the tag when sorted by recently updated gives it more and more chances for it to hit that lucky combo of "seen by the right people."

so, that's all to say, actually my advice for this section is also "just write what you like," because you can't control whether or not the people who will also like it will see it when you post it, so make sure there's at least one reader enjoying the ride (you).

...and then of course for more generic "how do you write """well""" advice, just keep practicing, and take note of the things you like in other people's writing and how they accomplish it!

sorry if that was like. way more than what you were really expecting as an answer for this 🙈🙈 i really am truly very grateful for all the super kind feedback i get on my work, but i'm really out here just writing whatever i want in whatever ways i want and then throwing it up "on the fridge" before i can chicken out dkfjh

i hope you (or whoever else bothered to read this far) can also be really satisfied and excited about what you're making, and my fingers are crossed for your luck in the "everyone in the fandom likes this thing" lottery 🤞🤞

[niennawept]

20 Questions for Writers

I was tagged by @lordoftherazzles and by @thenookienostradamus! Thank you both! These are some cool questions!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Thirteen at the moment (not counting an Adar headcanon collection), but likely to be more soon.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 170,865 (not bad for a year and a quarter)

3. What fandoms do you write for? Tolkien broadly (so far it's been Rings of Power, The Silmarillion, and The Hobbit - no LotR yet, but I do have an idea for one)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Click with caution, all of these but the second one are rated E; apparently, I am mostly known for Adar smut: Scars of Silver and Gold, Because the world is ending, Mistletoe Mischief, Calendar Girl, Until the Stars Burn Out

5. Do you respond to comments? Might take me a bit, but yes, I always do. I figure that someone gave me a little of their time in writing out a comment and I can give them some of mine in return. It's especially fun when people are predicting things; I love hearing what they think will happen.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Mmmm. I think it's probably Scars? Without spoilers, my protagonist lost something very important to her and although there's a lot of good things about that ending - she's still going to have that loss to grieve in the next fic and it'll inform her next arc. I'd say it's still a bittersweet ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I don't really do purely happy endings? I write a lot of hopeful endings, but most of them have some darkness lurking under them. I guess if I have to pick one, it's into the wild because that's technically a fix-it fic with Nienor getting saved by Mablung. Although, I might continue it some day, and it would inevitably get some Nienna-the-Song-is-tinted-with-grief flavoring.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not so far.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Uh, yes. I'm not sure what "what kind" means here? I guess I've written a variety- from kind of dreamlike and romantic to fics featuring BDSM-related kinks.

10. Do you write crossovers? I have never written one. I think that I'd probably never directly write one. But I might do something like shove Elrond into the plot of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight for a bisexual awakening set sometime in the Second Age. Not sure if that's a crossover or just a retelling though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes. Into Russian, if I remember correctly. It was a long time ago and I'm not in that fandom anymore.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yeah, I'd say my THAUC piece counts as co-written in the sense that my artist partner and I talked through the main ideas and beats of the story together.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Uhhh for Tolkien, I'm afraid I don't have one (I like a lot of ships, but there's not one all-consuming one). So - I guess I pick Sesshomaru/Kagome from Inuyasha? That's the pairing I read when I don't know what else to read.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I don't start a lot of WIPs. I have a lot more ideas for fics than I have documents or text written, but I do have a Finrod piece that I'm not sure I'll ever finish. I have a lingering idea that might save it, but I think that needs more time in the oven.

16. What are your writing strengths? Mmm - I think worldbuilding, specifically for culture is one of my strengths. I also think that I have a pretty good ability to make OCs that people care about (something that was important with a mostly OC cast).

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I struggle with internality a lot. I find thoughts cumbersome to write, because I process most things by talking them out or writing them down. I also think I could tighten up the cast of characters and subplots. It's something I'll definitely be careful with in novels going forward.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? It really depends on the fic. In Tolkien's world, I think so much of culture is tied up in language that it's a little hard not to include some bits and snatches of other languages. It's important to provide translations in text, I think, but otherwise, go for it if it's important to your characters and your plot.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Alas, I don't talk about that fandom anymore. The author turned out to be terrible.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Definitely Scars of Silver and Gold. It's my first completed longfic and I'm very proud of it, honestly. Are there some things I'd do differently? Yes. But I do love it. Honorable mention to peaches we devour, dusty skin and all. The YEARNING.

tagging (no pressure, just love): @runawaymun, @polutrope, @melestasflight, @fishing4stars

[ghulehthezombiequeen]

little sunshine. - Angeleyes

cardinal copia x sister of sin!reader part 3.

masterlist. / little sunshine masterlist.

tag list: @gothicwonderlust, @siouxbauhaus

a/n: i finally added a masterlist so yippee that's cool also if u want to be added to the taglist lmk and i'll gladly add u :D

warnings/things to note: female reader, potentially autistic Copia (it just comes naturally i'm sorry), secret relationships, possibly suggestive undertones?? idk bro i just write

enjoy <3

word count: 1,517 words.

A few weeks had passed since your first date with Copia. Not much has happened since then, which was fine with you. However, the fact that you were no longer watching the little ones made you a bit lonely in the ministry library. There were a few perks to working in the library, though. A couple groups of Siblings would normally come in every so often to gossip about any and everything, which you didn't mind overhearing. And they were glad to share with you! You were so likeable by everyone, so kind and generous, so witty and hilarious.

When they finally had to leave for their classes, you decided to pop a random record into the player. What type of records did the ghouls like to collect? You decided to investigate that later as you settled on an ABBA collector's edition vinyl. You studied the sleeve before pulling out the disk, noticing that it'd been played multiple times before.

You were organizing a shelf of books near the corner where your desk was, humming along to the song Angeleyes. You were so focused on your task that you didn't hear the door open, nor the footsteps approaching you.

"Ah, A-Angeleyes, huh? I... Personally, I love that song."

You knew that stutter from anywhere.

You turned around and smiled widely as your eyes were greeted by Copia. Instantly your mood boosted by at least 50 percent. "Oh! Hi, Cardi! What brings you here?" You chirped happily, now trying to multitask talking to him and sorting the books.

"Oh, uh... S-Sister, I just wanted to say that I- I....... I don't know. I just wanted to say hello..." he chuckled nervously at himself. "I'm not very good at this."

Oh, he was trying to flirt with you! Copia was never the best at it before, but now after the night in the gardens with you, every time he got a glance at you made his heart skip a beat. "I... erm... I want you to know that I missed you, a-and, um... I am so happy right now."

Was he... shy? That's adorable.

"Aw, you're so sweet, Cardi! You have a big heart, y'know?" you tittered at his shyness, watching his body language. Wait... was he hiding something behind his back? Odd.

"Whatcha hiding over there?" You asked in a sing-song voice, pretending to peek at what he was hiding behind his back.

Copia's face turned pink as you brought yourself closer to him. "I... w-well, uh... erm... oh, what the hell. Here, for you..." He revealed a white rose, holding it out for you to take. "It's my favorite flower... a-and I wanted to give it to my beautiful girl," he said bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

Your heart started to melt right then and there. How did Copia know your love language was receiving gifts? You felt even more special when he said that white roses were his favorite, and he was giving one to you! You gasped, taking the rose stem delicately in your fingers. "Oh, you didn't! You're so kind!"

Why did this gift feel different? Other guys have given you the same exact thing sometimes, but this felt more important than those gifts. Were you genuinely catching feelings for this silly rat man? This caused you to blush.

Copia chuckled a bit. "Oh, I did... because you deserve it. You're the sweetest girl I know, and you deserve a gift."

He looked into your eyes and smiled. "Ah, it's just a rose from the gardens, it's not the most valuable thing. But it's a part of me that I want to give you and keep forever... j-just like you." He swallowed after he spoke, mentally cursing himself for stuttering towards the end. Satanas below, why did it have to be so difficult to talk to you?!

You hummed in contentment, placing a gentle hand to his cheek. "If you get any sweeter, I might have to go to a dentist and get checked for cavities!" you teased, moving your hand to press a light kiss on his cheek.

"Ohhh, Sorella..." he mumbled something in Italian that you couldn't quite hear well, but you saw him fiddling with his thumbs. You made him flustered. Cute!

"Well, now I have to get you something, so it's fair!" you pouted as you stared at the white rose in your hand, admiring its beauty.

"E-Eh?! N-No, no, no! Per favore, n-no need to get me anything! Just seeing the smile on your face is all I need." he said quickly, feeling terrible at the thought of you cutting your precious time out to get him something in exchange for a rose.

You felt a little bad but decided to let it go for the time being. "Alright, then..."

"I-If anything, I'm not good enough for you, Sister... the rose should have been good enough." he mumbled quietly, thinking that he didn't deserve her; he'll always try his best for sure, but you... you were perfection.

That put a cheeky smile on your face, and you let out a small giggle. "Oh, I'm gonna put this on my desk, I'll be right back." You turned on your heel and walked to your desk, moving a stack of papers so that your vase with the single white rose sparkled in the sunlight.

Copia watched you, resisting the urge to reach out and pull you back to him, to hold you in his arms. He felt his heart beating so hard against his chest he thought it may explode. He wanted to lean in and kiss your perfect, pouty lips just like that night in the garden.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he spoke out loud accidentally, "...Why are you so perfect?"

"Mm, I dunno. I just am." you shrugged, a playful smirk on your face. It was cute that he didn't even notice he'd said those words out loud until your reply, which made him bury his face in his hands and coaxing a chuckle out of you.

He let out a flustered grumble. "Y-You know I think you're more than perfect. I- I can't find the right word for it yet, but... y-you're like an infernal goddess. I can't help but admire you. Satanas, you're truly a gift from below, I swear to it."

You tilted your head, so it rested on your own shoulder, smirking at him and pulling him into an embrace. You also took this opportunity to stare into those beautiful, mismatched eyes of his. "You fell madly in love with me already, huh Cardi?" you giggled as he started to snake his hands around your waist, pulling you in just a bit closer.

"Ehh... maybe just a little." he chuckled, lifting his hand to show you the little space in between his thumb and index finger.

You raised an eyebrow at that.

He widened the space the more you stared. "...Maybe just a little more than a little?" he chuckled sheepishly.

You kept your eyebrow raised.

"Ah! Okay, fine! Maybe a lot. Maybe- Maybe you should- uh... something. I... I forgot."

You both laughed at this, pulling each other closer.

"We're supposed to be keeping us a secret, y'know..." you reminded, smiling at him. He grinned innocently, pulling away slowly and looking around to make sure no one was watching the two of you.

"Okay, okay, you caught me. I love you tons, contento? But you are right, this isn't the best idea to do this in public. But... if it were under the circumstances of it being 'just us'... would I get a hug? M-Maybe even a kiss?"

"Hmm..." You pretended to think, just to spite him. Of course, you already knew the answer. "Under the circumstances of it being just us... whatever would we do?" "Oh, I know! What about... your room, 8pm tonight. I'll bring a bag and stay over?" you asked in a mischievous tone, your smirk still evident on your face.

Copia's face flushed a bright crimson at what you were implying. Did you want to-- with him?!?! Was he even that lucky?! Copia's mouth hung open for a second before sputtering a response. "Wha- I- you- me- we- uhh... erm... I- yes! Okay! Okie dokie... good, good...."

You laughed at his adorable reaction, pulling away from him to go back to work. "Y'know, the Siblings were talking about you earlier. They said you keep pet rats. Some couldn't believe it. But it got me thinking, and I want to see for myself if the rumor is true!"

"I- wha? Oh! Yes, o-of course!" he cleared his throat (and his thoughts), nodding. "W-Well, um... I guess I'll see you tonight then, Sister." He tried playing it cool, but everyone could tell how excited and nervous he was to see you tonight. You! Tonight! In his room! His mind was racing a mile a second as he spun around and scurried away to his room, resisting the urge to kiss you goodbye.

As for the rumor, well. That was true.

~~~ previous chapter. | next chapter.

[veliseraptor]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by @feralkwe - thank you! I feel like I've done this before but if I have it's been a minute so

1. How many works do you have on AO3? across pseuds I have 1,010 works. with my "current" one I'm at 607. that is more or less my entire oeuvre, though there's a fair number of short fics on tumblr I haven't gotten around to crossposting though I'd ostensibly like to at some point. eventually. maybe.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 4,873,723. aYIKES. but hey closing in on 5 million! wonder when I'll hit that. I bet I would if I posted my unfinished wips for the mcu tbh

3. What fandoms do you write for? ever or currently? the list of fandoms I have written at least one fic for (not counting ones where the one fic was a crossover) is [deep breath] the mcu, the untamed/mdzs, supernatural, the silmarillion, a song of ice and fire, black jewels trilogy, wheel of time, doctrine of labyrinths, death note, the caliban leandros series, avatar the last airbender, kinnporsche, doctor who, buffy the vampire slayer/angel, gentleman bastard sequence, marvel comics, harry potter, temeraire, good omens, code geass, realm of the elderlings, greek mythology, dragon age, sandman, dexter, lymond chronicles, the firekeeper saga, lucifer (the tv series), crimson peak, kushiel's legacy, the x men movies, chronicles of narnia, twilight, and a couple other small book fandoms.

i used to be a lot more multifandom than i am now in terms of what i wrote for, and have been writing fic for which is how this happened.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Not my favorite fics, for the most part. They are:

Life in Reverse (MCU)

With Absolute Splendor (The Untamed)

some good mistakes (The Untamed)

half a league onward (MCU)

The Villain Wrangler (MCU)

5. Do you respond to comments? I do not. I feel bad about it, but (a) I don't know what to say, (b) I feel unbearably self-conscious/self-important trying and (c) I already have too much I'm trying to do in my limited time/too many obligations I have placed upon myself to add another one that will just stress me out. Again, I have all kinds of guilt about this, though, which probably kind of defeats the (c) purpose of not doing it.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Almost certainly Mercy, though it's possible I could dig up others; that's the literal murder-suicide one, though, and I'm pretty sure I've only written one of those. I've written a lot where one character dies but another survives and has to live with the grief, which is arguably worse? but I still think Mercy wins. once there was a way to get back home might give it a run for its money, though.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I've actually written a fair amount of fic with happy endings! just mostly they have to suffer to get there. but trying to think of fic with a straight happy ending...I feel like I wrote some fairly fluffy fic in Black Jewels Trilogy fandom that I don't want to link to because I don't think it's very good. Maybe Life in Reverse, honestly? That's a fic where I tied up most things and resolved them in a pretty happy way.

Oh, or actually With Absolute Splendor might qualify.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I have in the past! Not a lot, but it happens every so often. Usually I just delete it, tbh; it doesn't feel worth leaving it there and I'm certainly not going to respond to it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Sure do, primarily for pairings that are dysfunctional in one way or another, and for the most part I want the sex to say something about the inner life/psychology of the characters I'm writing. truly plotless smut does happen but I find it weirdly difficult. I have to do so much pre-justification work for my smut, at least in my head if not on page.

a lot of what I write at least has a little bit of kink or D/s flavor to it even if it's not explicitly written as such (and a lot of it is at least a little explicitly written as such). I also like to write about power dynamics (in sex) and sex that's sublimating some other emotion or desire, if that latter makes sense.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I used to, but not anymore, and I probably won't; I don't know why, but I'm just generally not a crossover fan these days. But I did write a Lord of the Rings/Cthulhu Mythos Morgoth/Cthulhu fic back in the day. No, I'm not going to link it, you can find it if you really want.

The Scarlet Pimpernel/Black Jewels Trilogy might be objectively weirder but it was because of an RP and therefore feels more reasonable to me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I had forgotten about it until just now, but yes, actually. Including one that actually got reposted on AO3, which takes a particular kind of guts that's not the same as reposting on Wattpad or the like, imo. (I've also had fic scraped off AO3 and reposted on other sites.) The person took it down when I called them out on it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have been fortunate enough to have a number of fics translated into a few languages! I was curious which ones so I went and looked, and it looks like I've had fic translated into Russian, Chinese, and Japanese.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I've started co-writing a fic but never finished one.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Might have to give this one to xuexiao, though there's a lot of room in my heart for many ships! that's just one that hit an incredible number of my favorite things squarely on the head several times, leaving me concussed and helpless. It's so much, you guys.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? There's a number of my MCU wips that I look at and am like "yeah what I have of this is good actually, too bad I'll almost certainly never finish it", among which is Dead Superheroes Walking, the fic about everyone who died in Infinity War being trapped inside the Soul Stone and having to work together to fix the ensnappening from the inside. I have about 3/4 of it written if not more and the remaining quarter will probably remain unfinished. It was Wanda POV and a lot about Wanda and Loki bonding.

another one is the one where Hela decides instead of fighting Odin to strategically back down and plan to overthrow him later, and therefore is around while Loki and Thor are growing up. I really liked what I had of this one, and really enjoyed writing Hela's POV, but again. don't think I'm going to end up finishing it.

I have a whole folder called "MCU Salvage" that's basically my MCU wips that I parsed out because I was like "these are pretty good actually, maybe someday I'll have the motivation to return to them", which is probably delusional but, well. one never knows.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I'm pretty good at dialogue - I love to write characters having conversations, probably to a fault - and, when it comes to fanfiction, characterization.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Worldbuilding for sure is one. I hate it, I don't think I'm very good at it. also description - I feel like I lean heavily on dialogue in fic and tend to go light on descriptive language. this is probably partly because I'm not a very imagery-focused reader, so I don't think a lot about creating a "visual" with my writing, but also because I just don't like doing it as much as I like writing about internal thought processes and interpersonal verbal exchanges.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I almost certainly would not do it, as someone who is monolingual and has zero confidence in my ability to do it right in a way that wouldn't read absolutely awfully. The one exception to this is in Lymond fic, and that's because the canon did it first, so it is fully justifiable for me to have this guy spout off in five languages in one fic. Otherwise...not since I tried writing a fake Phantom of the Opera fic mocking bad Phantom of the Opera fics.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I always say Wheel of Time because that's the first fandom of my heart but technically I wrote a crack Harry Potter fic before I wrote for Wheel of Time. But in my heart it was Wheel of Time. That was certainly my first fandom in any meaningful sense of the word.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? This question is my nemesis. My favorite fic I've ever written changes at least once a month. I have a series for this on AO3 that I'm going to link to as a lazy answer to this question even though that's sort of 50 of my favorite fics, so sue me, I've written a lot of things over the years and I actually do like a fair number of them, even if you have to make me say so.

tagging uhhhh @highladyluck, @curiosity-killed, @ameliarating, @gloriousmonsters, i'm not sure how many people i'm supposed to tag for this but if you want to do it, go ahead?

[dotterelly]

I'm going to say something because I know a number of people have followed me recently because of QSMP content and I feel it would be neglectful not to at Ieast once acknowledge what's going on.

I am following the qsmp tag and I don't filter out discourse because I don't want to create too much of an echo chamber around myself and then be ignorant of problems. However I don't intend to post much of anything about any of the discourse.

For the small fandom drama, I'm an internet granny. I've been in fandoms before and I know there's always people in any community who's passion outweighs their tolerance and ability to understand other points of view. I'll vent about it to friends directly sometimes but I don't intend to get dragged into pointless discussions.

For the bigger issues, I see them. I tend to give it a few days to a week to allow at least a little time for full details to come out before deciding how it will impact my personal interaction with the content I love. I take what actions I judge to be appropriate according to the specific circumstances. But these days I tend to avoid reblogging or posting about things myself. This is because I - a. Usually have nothing useful to add to the conversation. I do not have related experiences to give my opinions weight, and I don't feel I have the right to talk for others, particularly others that know what they're talking about far better than I. And b. I've had a rough few years with my own mental health so for my own sanity I just have to focus on the things that make me feel happy, like good art and kind people and stuff.

That's my baseline rule for reblogging. I prefer to mostly be spreading things that are funny, friendly, kind, and to express my admiration for people. Some negative does slip through the cracks from time to time because I'm only human. I'm just a human being trying to exist.

I guess if you take anything away from this post, that's it. Don't forget that most of the people you interact with are only human. We aren't omniscient, we aren't telepathic, we aren't angelically good or devilishly evil. We will always continue to see the world through the lens of our personal life experiences and brain chemistry and that will always make some things obvious and other things hard for us to notice or understand. And because of that the most important thing you can practice doing is to be kind to others, particularly to strangers.

OK I ended up rambling a bit there. Tl,dr - I will mostly keep this blog discourse free but that doesn't mean I'm unaware of the discourse.

[fonulyn]

20 Questions for Fic Authors

thanks for the tag @thebrandywine 💖

answers under the cut.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

268 works.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

1,256,253 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

RE. and still have the urge to write Gears but lol if you thought nivannedy was a rare pair...

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

nobody's perfect (TOG, pretty gen)

now drunk on lust I drown in you (forever within I'm lost in you) (RE, Chreon)

and who's to find the way right through you (RE, Chreon)

scattered fragments of time (that's all we are) (RE, Chreon)

how to accidentally get adopted - a guide by Piers Nivans (RE, Piers-centric, also background Chreon)

5. Do you respond to comments?

always! i know i missed a couple, sometimes i take ages, but i do always try to respond bc i love and cherish nice comments.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

the bad endings on three words to last forever. i still like the angstiest one the most :'D

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

lmao like everything else idk i want them happy. i've written loads of fluff idk how to quantify which is the happiest.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

only ever got a few nasty comments thankfully, so no, not really.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

yeppp. idk what does 'which kind' mean? anything that feels inspiring lol.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

not really. i did start a few back in the day but i didn't really finish them. i am not really into crossovers tbh i don't even read them 99% of the time.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yeah. someone was selling it on amazon pffth.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

a few. apparently five on ao3 lol but i think there was one or two back in the lj days too. might be wrong tho :'D

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

lol loads. at one point in life like... fifteen years ago, most things i wrote were co-written with a friend. and i've done it a couple of times after that too. i really like co-op stuff tbh but haven't found people to collab with lately.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

right now i would sell my soul for nivannedy. might already have.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ehhhh at this moment i doubt i'll ever finish anything. maybe the lifeguard au? i was red-hot for the idea at first but then it kinda... fizzled out. kept changing. got ruined by pushy ppl lol. but maybe i'll get back to it one day bc i would love a nivannedy summer romance tbh.

16. What are your writing strengths?

uhm. characterization. dialogue. emotional shit? idk i think i do best when i have intimate moments with two people. tiny everyday moments and mundane shit. like that. if i get going writing sometimes flows super well and i think i can get consistently readable stuff done in one go. but that'd require getting going lol.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action. i suck at action. i also suck at it in the way that i can't actually make myself start writing. i got way too co-dependent when i still had people excitedly participating in the process and now i sit here sad doing nothing :'D but anyway. writing action and having some self-discipline lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

depends very heavily on the context. in general i do think it should be all in one language for readability but there are exceptions. i've done it too lol but it was only like a line or two in finnish :'D

19. First fandom you wrote for?

diru, twenty years ago lmao, it's like a different lifetime. i only learned of the existence of fanfic at the ripe old age of nineteen lol but yeah it's still been so long now.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

asdjfngkn i can not choose between all of my children c'mon. uhm. am just gonna say the self-indulgent series bc it truly was so important to me for so long and i'm still devastated it ended. sigh. now i made myself sad again :'D

[lynxindisguise]

20 asks for fic writers

ty for the tag @plecotusauritus and @wanderingdonut <333

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

16

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

300,242 (damn)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

hp, have considered branching into black sails and good omens

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Hot Cocoa Incident of '77

shorn and scarred and yours

A Dog in Stag's Clothing

Sarcastic Truths and Lies By Omission

exes, horcruxes, and other reasons to panic

conclusion: bitches love hogwarts fluff, slytherin sirius, and divorce!!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love comments!

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending

Uhhh I guess the corndog fic?? all my wolfstar fics currently end happily, though Of Monsters and Cowards has more of an open ending

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They're all happy honestly, but The Hut of the Mistold is probably the most neatly wrapped up, all the warm and fuzzies, happily ever after ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nothing directly mean, but I'll get comments that make me go, "why did you feel the need to say that?" Like ranting a little too enthusiastically about the main character's choices or commenting on how they wanted more of xyz in a chapter (especially when the fic isn't even finished!) Oh and I got one the other day from a guest on a reply I made to someone else that was clearly trying to start an argument about something that had nothing to do with the fic??? I don't respond to those comments.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Typically I write a little smooching that fades into a vague description, but I wrote six different versions of smut for don't cover our tracks

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I write a lot of AU's based in other worlds, but not crossovers. (Unless @impishtubist and I make the ineffable wolfstar crossover happen!)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. And hot take—I genuinely think a lot of cases of "fic stealing" are just coincidence. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I do believe we're all collectively tossing around one brain cell, and we're bound to have similar ideas.

I once read a fic that shared a lot of themes/ideas/details with one of my fics, and upon discovering this, I plotted to trick the writer into becoming my deeply beloved mutual.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had people ask if they could translate my fics before a few times, but I don't think anything has come of it?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not currently... (refer to 10)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Wolfstar

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

... probably the ATLA AU :/

The idea possessed me back in January of last year, and I plotted out the entire thing, but I've had no motivation to actually write it. I think the problem is that it's too cinematic, and I can't translate it to prose.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Probably world-building, in the way that I can look at one world and say "how would this translate to another?" "what little details and references can I pull from and play with?" "how do I adjust my writing style to make this feel like the genre I'm replicating?"

Also unusual metaphors, zingy little commentary, and comedic timing in dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I really struggle with prose. Which sounds silly, but like, I'm not writing prose—I'm translating the screenplay in my brain to prose, which is weird. And I think it can make my writing really jarring because it's lacking that slow, immersive reflection that is just so delicious when done well.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Dude I put a few Welsh words in hotm and panicked that even those would be wrong. If it was ever important for the story, I'd find someone who spoke the language to help me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

hp

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Please Don't See Me

tagging @kaaaaaaarf @spindrifters @impishtubist @soloorganaas @femme--de--lettres @fruityindividual @worldenough-and-time

[andrea-lyn]

thank you @smilebackwards for the tag in this one, bc I always love a ramble

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 474, with a lot of them being imported from the LiveJournal days (...and worse, a LOT that never made it because I don't want them under my current pseud).

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 3,447,393. I'm a wordy bitch when I want to be. I was just saying that I've somehow gotten into this habit of thinking every fic I write has to be a minimum of 8k, even though my next fic that will go live will prob be 5kish (...and then something that will prob be around 12k).

3. What fandoms do you write for? Right now, Ted Lasso, Zukka, Raven Cycle (though I'm out of ideas, but may grab one of my miscellaneous for that), Old Guard, Roswell New Mexico (I'm coming back, bitches).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? ready for my close up, mr. dameron (poe/finn) how to fall in love with a fairytale (poe/finn) what a tale my thoughts could tell (joe/nicky) Your Hand In Mine (poe/finn) hallelujah, you're still mine (joe/nicky) (very sad my highest kudos'ed steve/danny h50 one was top 7 and not top 5)

5. Do you respond to comments? Always. No matter what. It's a habit I got into and there's a bit of social anxiety I have around it, but I will always do it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably The Time Traveling Pilot (Poe/Finn), which has some lovely bookmarks like, Fuck I'm crying, im absolutley fucking sobbing and my fave, I'll never be brave enough to read this fic again, but I'm so glad I read it once. And honestly? Fair. I sobbed a lot writing it.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Basically, 90% of my stuff? My habit tends to be super happy/fluffy stuff and then 10% of my stuff is meant to be angst that will destroy you (...there's a Zukka coming up that will reinforce that pattern)

8. Do you get hate on fics? I started to get a lot of it on Roswell fics for some really unfortunate reasons, and it actually pushed me to make my RNM fics AO3 users only :/

9. Do you write smut? Rarely these days, but only because the story doesn't feel like it needs it. I'll still write smut scenes if it feels right, but I've been living in more rom-com territory lately.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written? I don't do it as often, but I've done a couple! I did a Leverage x Hustle one, a Star Trek x Dead Like Me, and two whole stories for House MD x Doctor Who. I do it less often these days, but more because the ideas aren't there.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of? So, maybe? I haven't seen it though!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I've been super lucky to have a bunch of my fics translated!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? YES, and it's my FAVE THING, okay. Cowriters, come at me, I love it. I want more of it.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? My preferences are fleeting like the wind and my faves come and go and then resolidify, but I will say, lately it's starting to seem like Pynch might be the steadiest 'ship I've had in a while.

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ...at this point, the Joe/Nicky Outlander Time Traveller's Old Guard, if only because it's a beast of a thing.

16. What are your writing strengths? I really like threading in the little bits of canon and getting as close to the voice and tone as possible. I'd say I've been most successful in some of my Ted Lasso stuff, but I like to be a mimic.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Prose. I'm not great at setting the scene and often my world-building is more characters and relationships than settings or scenarios. I've kind of let that atrophy over the years too.

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics? I used to do this a lot, if only because I speak enough French & Italian to get by, but in recent years, I've started just writing the phrase in English, italicizing, and indicating in the narrative that they're speaking another language, if only to get away from the footnotes or hovering.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Charmed, I think? Piper/Leo was def baby's first OTP.

20. Favorite fic you have written? I usually say Love Like The Sea (my Webgott), but today I'm going with Baby, I'm Howling For You, my Steve/Danny supernatural fic (and series) because it has the best worldbuilding I think I've ever done and I really enjoy the rules I set around that 'verse.

Tagging @earnmysong, @el-gilliath, @hazel-athena, and anyone else who wants to ramble!