#IF i change my last name to theirs. and i said no so they're being stubborn and said they won't adopt me until i agree

[woodnrust]

*rocking in the corner of the room* i am comfortable in my identity people respect my identity i am wanted i fit in with others who share my identity i am not an outcast nor am i an anomaly

[super-who-locked-me-in-here]

So I saw these gifs from Dolce, and it made me realize that Hannibal was still wearing his wedding ring from his "marriage" with Bedelia while he's killing Will and I had a flurry of thoughts about the implications of their rings in season 3.

Hannibal could've taken it off right after he and Bedelia said their goodbyes, but that would've ruined the façade when he went out. And he didn't really have a way of knowing Will was going to meet him in the art gallery. He could've assumed that after his altercation with Jack, Will would not be far behind, but he didn't know when specifically it would be, so the idea of him taking it off before Will gets to the art gallery isn't really plausible.

But he had that heartfelt (in their own way) conversation with Will in the gallery, picked him up out of the street after he was shot, tended to his wounds, drugged him, probably bathed him or at the very least redressed him, made him soup, and fed him with the intention of it being Will's last meal, where Hannibal would finally express the true extent of his love for him by killing and cannibalizing him, and he wore his wedding ring that ties him to Bedelia through all of it.

How fucked up is that, that even in that moment where (once more through violence) Hannibal is finally allowing Will (as drugged as he is) to see all of his cards, he still can't be bothered to entirely remove his person suit even when they're the only two people in the room?

Do you think that's part of why Will is so bitchy to Bedelia? Because he's not completely unaware while Hannibal is doing all of this to him, and with that shred of awareness, maybe he remembered that detail just like he remembered things after his encephalitis was treated. And he's jealous. He's angry, at himself for ruining what could've been if he hadn't lied all those years ago, and at Bedelia, for stealing the position next to Hannibal, the love and time and companionship she got to share with Hannibal that should've belonged to Will. He's angry that even in that moment where he was barely lucid, it was his, it was theirs, and other people (Bedelia, Jack, Mason, Alana) still couldn't keep their mark off that moment.

Do you think that's part of why Will is wearing his wedding ring at the cliffside? Will's intentions are all jumbled at this point. With him telling Bedelia he doesn't intend for Hannibal to be caught a second time, and him telling Jack that Dr. Lecter is just bait for the Dragon, and when Hannibal asks Will if he intends to watch the Dragon kill him, Will's response is "I intend to watch him change you" it seems pretty clear that Will intends for Francis and Hannibal to murder each other and for him to walk away and go back to his (boring, fake, necessary) picket-fence life with his wife and child and all their dogs. But then you throw in the wrench of "Is Hannibal in love with me?" and "I'd pack my bags if I were you, Bedelia. Meat's back on the menu" and "Name the bait on your hook after someone you cherished" versus "Hannibal would be the best bait."

I don't think Will truly made his decision about what he wanted to happen, or what he thought should happen, until he was standing on the bluff that afternoon before the fight with Francis. I think he wore the ring up until that point because he was unsure if he'd be going back to Molly or not, but also, much like Hannibal in the art gallery, marital status at that point was irrelevant; it was about the façade. And I think Will kept it on that day, and into the evening and during the fight with the Dragon because he was still hurt and jealous and angry and vindictive, and he wanted Hannibal to be unsure.

He remembered that moment, that near death of his at Hannibal's hands, that couldn't be wholly, intimately theirs because of that band of metal on Hannibal's finger, and now he finds himself on another precipice of life and death, except it's Hannibal's mortality at risk, with Will sending him to a sacrificial altar, and Will wants him to worry, that Will is going to deny them both their greatest fantasies, death at each other's own hands, not by proxy or fate or accident, because maybe, just maybe, he's going to go back to Molly.

I think in both cases, the rings signify power over the other, but also the endless pursuit of the one they love while being terrified to reach out and thusly resigning themselves to a safety net, a loving wife, a façade.

[bengiyo]

She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat 2 Eps 17-20 (Finale)

Last week gave me everything I wanted and more. The whole squad went over to Yako's place for a curry party and everyone had a great time. Later, Nagumo got a diagnosis for her condition and got to have personal time with Yako. Kasuga and Nomoto continued to work on their communication and making sure they aren't trampling over each other. They're continuing to work on this move. Seriously, we had a curry party and a s'mores party last week. We planted strawberries together. Let's finish this.

Episode 17

Looking for housing is so stressful. I was wondering if we'd get into housing discrimination in this.

Red beans in Japan are different from what we eat here. Theirs carry a naturally sweet profile that doesn't mesh well with creole cooking.

I feel like those beans needed to boil longer, but that's me thinking in my home cooking terms.

Yes, ladies, tell each other how happy you are to see each other.

@furritsubs thank you for the note about Azuki beans.

I'm really enjoying the way they're handling this situation. The realtor wasn't trying to be homophobic, but the systems he was upholding with the landlord references reinforces the status of same sex households. I also like that they acknowledged how circumstances closet people in ways that hurt them. This is good payoff from the news bit we saw earlier in season with Kasuga.

Getting a tasty treat in before going back into the fray is so valid.

Kasuga being even more affectionate about Nomoto's food now that they're dating is exactly what I wanted.

Episode 18

Oh fuck yeah, let's continue to unpack how structural homophobia makes people scared to share something that should be a joyous occasion.

Amused that Yako is the primary person using Nomoto's given name.

Are we going to have a takoyaki party next??

COME THROUGH, YAKO!!! You gotta help your folks get through this bullshit, but never let them forget that it's bullshit!!

I am relieved that we checked in with Ms. Fujita about divorcing her husband at the same time as we're working through LGBT housing issues. Single divorced women likely also face huge challenges in housing when marriage is the goal we're being pushed into.

Wow, Sayama, you are in contention for the Yihwa Best Girl Award this year. You are an ally. Love the way she examined how what she said might have been hurtful.

Feeling like you somehow failed because you didn't get married in your 20s is so real. I sometimes struggle with this in my 30s.

This show uses its characters to illustrate its political points in a way that feels gentle and accessible, but also carries a sense of urgency. Women are facing extreme reproductive pressure right now, and it's clearly not making those who don't already want husbands and children happier. Hell, it's making them resentful to the point of divorce as they get older.

Hold on. Gotta cry a bit about Nomoto telling Kasuga that being told outright that hiding who they are upset her made her feel better got me.

Episode 19

Takoyaki Party let's goooooo!!!

A party where you cook together like this is always so much fun. We had fun with some friends' kids a few weeks ago teaching them how to make pancakes and letting them add their own toppings before, during, and after cooking.

Nagumo managed to enjoy a bite of food with them. Hold on. Crying again.

We've seen takoyaki a few times lately, and I am very impressed with this cooker.

Yako, tactful as always, is gonna check on Nagumo. I love her.

This is so important. Couple formation does affect the friends around them, and I'm really glad Yako let Nagumo voice that she supports her friends even as she knows she's going to miss the dynamic they've had. Yako is so right to point out that a change doesn't mean it's over, and their friendship will last if we all continue to reach out.

This realtor scene is so good. I like how politely she asked for them to disclose their relationship with the express purpose of securing ideal housing, and we're getting into how the financing of housing can affect people's privacy. She's also owning that landlords can discriminate against couples. I also appreciate that their meeting room was private.

I'm ready for the moving in party!

Episode 20

They got the house!!

A crab cream croquette party!!!

Wait, where's Nagumo? I wanted her to try a croquette too!

We are on the bed together. This is not a drill.

Yes, let's acknowledge that they have liked each other since season 1.

The intimacy question is on the floor!

They are finally hugging!

NOW KISS!!!

That was very sweet, and felt right for them. I'm glad they had that moment in the old place before they moved.

Cried because of Ms. Fujita and Nagumo possibly getting hired.

So glad Yako and Nagumo are still hanging out! That's really how some friends groups will be. Two people will just gel at a party and grow close.

Oh hell yeah we're at casual intimacy now.

I'm so excited to see where the TV goes next season!!

Oh my goodness Kasuga is wearing a lighter sweater!!!!!!

Final Verdict: 10, Go Watch This Immediately and Then Show it to a Friend. Seriously, do not make excuses for yourself. You owe it to yourself to watch this show. Between this, Ossan's Love Returns, and What Did You Eat Yesterday? coming back, we cannot stop supporting our shows about older people getting together and forming their own forms of family. This show built on the foundation of its first season and made every little detail feel so potent and impactful. I did not expect the pen pal to grow into a trusted confidant and core member of this friend group, nor was I expecting the women at the supermarket to help Kasuga as much as they did. This season was excellent, and will be joining WDYEY on my comfort watch rotation.

Big thanks to @furritsubs and friends for making this watch possible.

[therobotmonster]

Be me.

Live in the same apt complex for more than a decade. Constantly have delivery issues because each numbered building has 2 street numbers and 2 of every lettered apartment. So there's two apartments B in my building. It causes constant delivery issues.

Wake up last month to an angry letter from the apt complex about me 'changing the power over to their name'. A thing I haven't done.

Make multiple calls to the complex and power company, eventually piece together that someone moved into the other apt B, called the power company to get the power turned on, and they switched my account to theirs.

Because while it takes 3 different methods of verification to even pay my bill by phone, apparently some bewildered dipshit can call in and take over an active account without a single question being asked.

Said dipshit realized their mistake, likely when their power didn't come on, and had it fixed. Dipshits at the power company didn't bother switching anything back, and simply reassigned my account to the apartment complex.

I set up a new account, making everything extra complicated, and the apt complex bills me for the leftover power bill they got sent by the power company.

Fast forward one month, now the power company is charging me that exact same amount.

Call the apt complex. They say they paid it, but do so the second I ask. They didn't check any records. I ask if they're certain or if they're just assuming that. They say they're certain. I tell them they need to call Power Co and straighten it out. They say I have to.

I call power company. They say the apartment company didn't pay them, and needs to call them to work this out. Just like I wanted them to in the first place.

Call back to the apt complex, talk to a second clueless fuck. They're "looking into it."

My anger could melt steel.

[l0lz1ez-x3]

okay so uh. venting here because my vents in my discord server are so common no one really pays attention anymore (so fucking stupid because then they expect me to respond to theirs.)

tw/cw; verbal abuse, threats of physical abuse, mentions of eating disorders, and emotional abuse (maybe mental to!! gotta love my mom.)

honestly I'm so fucking done. I'm tired of this, I just want a break. I need a break. it's been fucking 6 years and 3 months, I can barely do this anymore. i literally hate my mom, she's exhausting. short context; she started fat shaming and verbally abusing me when I was 7 (which was also around the time that I started getting heavily bullied. yay.) and surprise, surprise! it's still going on. I don't even know what I did, it was like just one day she switched completely honestly. she's rarely physically abusive thank God but when she is then it's questionable. either random shit like smacking me for no goddamn reason or shoving an entire plate of buffalo wings and ranch in my face because I asked her to give me a second and she "didn't hear me" and thought I was being "disrespectful". (this happened last year around Christmas time and the next day she acted like nothing happened and said it was MY fault.)

I literally never do anything wrong, I do my homework on time and if I miss a day then I make up for it and I do extra, my rooms always clean, I always help take care of the dogs and other animals, I help clean and cook, and other small things like getting things she can't reach, watching the dogs when she goes out, helping when my grandfather falls (despite him being a pedophile.) yet all I get in return as a thank you is fucking abuse. pure and utter verbal and emotional abuse for no reason while she favorites my brother. it's so fucking stupid honestly I'm tired of the threats from her saying she'll literally beat me for no reason, she'll get rid of my dog (I say mine because he's only here because I beg her to keep him because he was around when my now dead dog was, and he means a lot to me.), or saying she'll burn, throw away, or cut up my crochet, clay, resin, and knitted projects that I spend weeks to months on. and if it's not that then it's the verbal abuse, calling me rude names and fat shaming me for simply eating a little more than usual, or blaming me for shit I didn't do, yelling at me for no reason, calling me rude shit when I cry, telling me she'll "give me something to cry about" and raising her hand like she'll hit me. yet she wonders why I flinch so much around her. or why I stay in my room, or don't want to talk to her. every time I bring this up to her in a mature way she'll just tell me I should be "grateful" because she's a "great mom" and that IM the abusive one. and, just to clarify, I rarely talk to her. if she asks me anything I literally just answer with "okay", "mhm", "no", or "yeah I know".

change of subject, so, I have POTS syndrome and that means my heart rate changes drastically and my blood pressure drops when I change positions from sitting to standing or from laying to sitting, and when I push myself to do more difficult things like running or lifting heavy things (the change in blood pressure and heart rate can make me really dizzy or I can just straight up whiteout. it's scary when that happens but I've learnt to deal with it for the most part) and she uses that against me along with my autism, saying they're my fault because I "wasn't born this way" and it's my fault because I'm "so overweight". heads up, my heart doctor literally TOLD HER MULTIPLE TIMES that symptoms of POTS show up in the teen to young adult age and have a chance of going away, and for the weight? literally an endocrinologist told her multiple times that my weight is fine and she shouldn't focus on that, because guess what? the things affecting me the most right now is high testosterone and my slight Insulin resistance WHICH RUNS IN BOTH SIDES OF THE FUCKING FAMILY. and quick mention, I'm the healthiest out of my entire family. yet she'll still obsess over this shit. it's tiring, I've already had an eating disorder when I was around 10 because of the heavy fat shaming which lead me to STARVE MYSELF. then I got better from that and she started restricting my food to less than what I NEEDED so I had to hide food in my room to eat when I'd get hunger pains FROM NOT EATING and if she'd find them when she'd search my room? threats of physical abuse, yelling, verbal abuse, and her yet again bodyshaming me and calling me a hog or a pig.

on the topic of weight loss or eating disorders, I've lost over 27 pounds in the span of 3 months. not by choice, but because of her forcing me to work out. when she's been told by two different doctors that my weight ISNT THE ISSUE. it's fucking disgusting. she's disgusting. disgusting and a piece of shit. I just want to be happy, I want to feel appreciated and loved again instead of like I do now. I can't even fucking remember the last time I had any type of affection that wasn't from people online, I'm tired. I'm just so, so tired. I need this to end soon before I end up doing something stupid again. I don't want to fuck up again :(

[yooniesim]

Honestly, I feel like the reason these people get away with these poor quality meshes and shady tactics is because most people don’t realize that it’s not all that good in the first place. You sit there and think “WOW! Look at this person who made their own items for the game!” and since you don’t know how to do it yourself and you’re on the outside looking in, it all seems impressive. I can definitely pinpoint the moment I realized that it’s as good as it seems.

I was too poor to buy packs so I used CC to fill the gaps , but then I discovered the Seven Seas of the Internet. Suddenly, I had all the packs at my disposal and I was so excited going through all these CAS items that I only ever saw in pack reviews on YouTube. But, that feeling faded quickly because I realized that I had seen most of them already in the form of CC mesh edits. I think what really put the nail in the coffin was seeing the DHD Items and realizing how many creators made their mesh edits and put them under early access w/o mentioning that they were just barely tweaked versions of an EA item.

I definitely had to take a step back from downloading CC after that, because I couldn’t view the creators I had admired so much in the same light as I had previously. All their creations were just kinda meh now that I had realized that they didn’t really create them at all and had just chopped it up and sold it as theirs. It was like finding out an artist you liked was just tracing everything and presenting it as theirs just because they changed the hairstyle.

Anyways, thanks for letting me ramble and keep on being awesome!

Nonny, I agree with everything you said. I went through this same thing as I realized more about cc creating and really how simple and repetitive some of my favorite cc was. I would be thinking a creator had super high quality work and was good at replicating EA's style... just to find out it was literally EA's meshes & textures just slightly tweaked. Considering how EA is (justifiably) shit on and used to be considered worse than cc creators, the situation has really taken a turn with maxis match creators. I really feel sorry for people that started simblrs in the last few years bc they will never know how you used to have 10x more content for FREE after a pack would drop, there would be repeats bc everyone was scrambling to make these little edits. Now the same 4-5 creators horde them under "add on" packs for extra money after people already paid EA for the pack. It's really just more microtransactions but it's from people that used to (seem to) care about the community & having fun but now just see dollar signs. I really honestly think they take those preview pics we get of all the items in a pack and seriously plan what they're going to slice and dice before the pack even comes out. And I think it's funny to criticize EA's every move (which i agree with tbh) when you're pretty much just a leech grabbing the work of the devs and stretching it as far as you can for your own gain. And they KNOW it's shady, that's why they hide and only pop in to post their cc, that's why they're super defensive, why they only talk to each other and have their lil secret discords where they pass around peoples names and get them banned from all their patreons while immediately chain blocking the people that criticize them on tumblr. The first minute I criticized early access (before I ever mentioned anyone by name), I got chain blocked by 5-8 big creators within a day, and i'm even blocked by maxismatchccworld by the same exact reason. They 1000% block out anyone they can and just collect a check every month off their basically- let's call it what it is- stolen work.

[seikatsu-ga-tsuzuku]

Hi, I really love reading your blog, thanks for sharing your posts. Even if I'm not the one who asked your otps, do you mind if I asked why you love those couples (your otps)? You can pick at least 3 couples, if you want to write the reasons.....

Sorry if I ask too much, feel free to just ignore my ask. Also sorry again if I send this ask twice....

I don't think anyone has ever said they like reading my blog, so somehow this makes me happy. I get little traction on my posts so most of the time I'm thinking I'm just talking to myself on here.

I don't believe you've sent this ask multiple times, but if you have, I guess tumblr ate it because I don't see it in my inbox. But sure, I'll try to answer succinctly because when it comes to ships I can ramble for years (ask my best friend). I am assuming you're referring to the post I did the other week about my top 10 ships of all time, so I'll pick 3 of those to explain.

So first up, Adachi and Kurosawa from Cherry Magic. They are so refreshing. I don't know how to explain it. First of all, I appreciate the gentle kindness of Kurosawa as the pursuer/top which I feel like is something you don't see often in BL. There's always the looming threat of noncon/dubcon which is nowhere to be found in Cherry Magic thankfully. His love for Adachi starts off much like a schoolgirl crush, and quickly morphs into an adoration and admiration of Adachi as a person as they get to know each other better. It's interesting to watch how Adachi's feelings develop for Kurosawa as well. He thinks carefully about what Kurosawa means to him, and in what ways he wants to be with him. He's considerate of Kurosawa's feelings even before the love is mutual. Their love for each other is very pure, sweet, and wholesome, and the slowburn from coworkers to friends to lovers is just perfect. They definitely give me a toothache, and their relationship is something that I would like for myself. I also hope to write a love story as good as theirs someday. I could go on but I'll spare thee. Next is Kotetsu and Barnaby from Tiger & Bunny. Now, I know they are not canon, but they are as close to canon as a couple can get without being canon, if you know what I mean. Their relationship starts off spiky, but their growth as people because of the development of their relationship is one of my favorite things about them. They become better people because of each other, especially Barnaby. They teach each other a lot, learn to work together and care about each other, even during the times when Barnaby is resistant to this change in him. Barnaby's attitude eventually changes from snooty, prickly, and isolated to soft and trusting of Kotetsu. They don't only maintain a good relationship for work reasons, but outside of that obligation too, working on their friendship and truly becoming family (in season 2 you can literally see a photo of Kotetsu, Barnaby, and Kaede together in one of their apartments', I forget whose, but my gut is telling me Barnaby's). The scenes in season 2 when Kotetsu just wanted to go out for a drink with Barnaby but some shit kept coming up so they couldn't. And the episode when Kotetsu wanted to do something nice for Barnaby's birthday. Kotetsu's determination to get along with him just makes my heart ache, I dunno. And whenever the other's life or health is in even the slightest of danger, they launch into panicking worry mode for each other. Also I can't overlook the occasional flirting. It just genuinely feels like watching two people interact that don't realize they're in love with each other.

Last lemme talk about Ryuji and Akira from Persona 5 because I never get to talk about my feelings for them. Now I know there is another more popular BL couple in P5 that shan't be named here, but let me explain why I prefer AkiRyu. I like the premise that Akira and Ryuji's relationship starts on and is built up from; an almost immediate acceptance of each other and the ability to relate and empathize with one another's circumstances. Ryuji had become an outcast after the incident with Kamoshida and the track team, and Akira had become an outcast due to his criminal record, which rumors of had followed him to his new school. At the start of the story, they had nobody but each other. Ryuji took an immediate liking to Akira, and Akira also seemed to be content with Ryuji as his first friend at Shuujin. Despite having very different personalities, they had the same morals, the same sense of justice, similar problems to deal with. Now this can be said about Akira with the rest of the Phantom Thieves, yes, but I feel like Akira and Ryuji's dynamic is unique. Again he's Akira's first friend, and you can't deny this quickly escalates into Ryuji being his best friend out of all the Phantom Thieves. Ryuji often basically tells Akira this is how he feels about him as well, so it can't be denied or brushed off (although you can make Akira respond with the snarky and meaner dialogue options, the sentiment is still there. It's not in the same ways that you can be mean to Mishima or rude to Goro, for example). They have a bond that I don't feel is present with the other Phantom Thieves, after completing everyone's social links. Even the canon romance routes with the girls felt weak in comparison. I feel like AkiRyu is the prime example of the shounen-esque tendency to write two guy best friends so emotionally charged that it loops right back around to being gay by accident (see Ryuji's social link stage 9 or 10, I forget which. If you know, you know. The ramen restaurant conversation, yeah, that one. It was basically a declaration of love to me). Those are the vibes they give off to me.

I said this would be succinct but it wasn't. Thank you for your time 😭

[otakebi-cam-wao]

Produce 101 Japan The girls ep 7 by a harowota

y'all know how it goes, my mind flowing under the cut

their words at the start dude!!!

will a performance be muted due to copyright?! or just on the episodes preview?!

okay, Rap & Vocals, Bijin first

Uchira, they named it Uchira

WOW TSUKUSHI GOT BANGS

ohhh they got the Chanmina visit

wow keiko main rapper

Rinon is open with being annoyed bout the amount of lines she would get, that's nice

poor Rinon tbh

i'm scared i won't listen the Bijin performance, c'mon Chanmina, let them play it!!!

nice the Chanmina to tell Rinon to be more herself or a chara that fits her more, no need to rap as she isn't comfortable

i'm feeling so sad at the

Chanmina said "Look at this Bitch" right?

i cannot even express but Rinon is getting into my feelings

wow the change they had

Ken the 390 relaxing them to free style, nice nice

lol, the girls rapping bout Yumeki being scary

IF I WON'T LISTEN I'M GONNA CRY!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i can't say anything, i just hope they did nicely (haven't looked up the solo shots, so idk if i can listen those)

ofc Rinon 3rd, sadly

Keiko 1st!!! nice

but feel bittersweet not listening

a dance one now, another one i cannot talk a lot

antifragile okay, antitititipeony or peony?

i saw Rimika... i'm :/

let's go Nano and Miyu for me, mainly Nano (from this team) and Ema

I don't want to sound mean, but i want Rimika to be last

AWWWWW NANO NOT BEING ABLE TO CLAIM A PARET CUZ SHE DOESN'T WANT OTHERS TO LOSE THEIRS

awwww Ayaka giving a candy to everyone in the room, and Ema's "magic spell" to make Rimika more energetic the next day

AWWWWW EMA WANT'S TO HELP RIMIKA BEING MORE "SEXY", her duty is helping Rimika (i mean she was an HKT48 member, HKT is the more cute 48g, right? so it's a big work for Ema to take that off Rimika)

Nakasone being mother, i can't, but also LET'S GO NANO!!!

oh it's just peony

let's go nakasone, we want to see their evolution

now performance, no writting

well, Ema did it, Rimika didn't look that cute here

NANO! AYAKA! MIYU! EMA!..... rimika....

positions?

RIMIKA LAST!!!!! HAHAHAHA (sorry), and Ema 3rd, me happy

NANO 1st!!! (Miyu 2nd, Ayaka 4th)

rap & vocal again

Shut Down, THIS IS THE KASSA AND KOTONE GROUP

track beat, nice name

excited for this journey for my dear Kassa, big baby is also leader here

Kotone, i get it, i wouldn't like to compete against Kassa either

what i'm seeing now is so cute from Kassa, with the "if everyone is okay with it", i think is the Ayacho education in her heart

Momona's rap wrote by herself get me in the memories of her Anju self

poor Ayano having troubles writting a rap, and all that

Ken the 390 is so nice to them i think

that's so you Kassa

they're freaking out with the Chanmina arrival, and Kassa trying to calm them down (specially Kokona)

Kokona is fangirling so hard lol

i'm so moved at Kassa's thought process to make the choreo easier for the others but also give a good performance

but yeah, as Kokona said everyone wants to go their way

i want all this team to stay (Momona is a sure one tho)

Kotone opening sabdfbsd

nice everyone

omg Kotone

omg Kassa, who's that one

nice nice Ayano

Kokona cool!!!!

i got the chills with Kassa's rap

the "aishiteru wa" was nice, but after that, something seemed off, got the same honglee expression

oofff, Honglee and Thelma seing all different

positions, okay

i want no one last

Ayano 4th then Kotone, kinda expected

Kassa first, expected, anyways, but aaaa cute

Vocal this time Omokage

HERE'S KOKORO AND MOMOKA AND HARUKA!!!! And Mena!

Realize, nice name

they look so cute

awww Haruka asking what Kokoro meant with making the song more cheerful

Haruka is so chiikawa!!!!

nice ideas Kokoro!!! loved it

Momoka wants to add rap!!!

this group it's so cute!!!!!

ohhh Kokoro wants to keep the rap for everyone, cute

awwww Momoka!!! want to hug my husky voice girl

Chanmina helped her to get rid of the frustration

I like Momoka's husky voice so much

aaaaaadbuiadfasdgfyugsdu Haruka!!!! so cute

SO CUTEEEEE

has a complex on her voice, nooo my dear!

you can do it Haruka!! (i'm getting too attached to Haruka)

surprise thelma class for Haruka

Thelma and Haruka look like old mama cat with bby kitty

HARUKA MY DEAR I ALSO WAS SHOCKED AS HONGLEE

you can Kokoro, you can do it

singing in the dark to give more freedom to Kokoro, sounds fun Thelma

I like Mena, but it's the one i'm least excited here

they're so cute!!!

AAAAAAAA Momoka's voice is soothing in the first line

HARUKAAAAA YES!!!!

LET'S GO HARUKA!!!

everyone let's goooo

kawachii Haruka and Mena

Kakkoii Momoka!!!

Nee-san Kokoro, i just love this group!!!!

oof Kokoro and that adlib went off, and Mena a bit in the acapella (i think)

YES NAKASONE BOUT MOMOKA AND HARUKA

Karuka chiikawa

No one last, but if one, Mena pls

MENA LAST, HARUKA 3RD, YES

Momoka 1st, i'm crying

you see, your husky voice caught our hearts

Kokoro, you did good!

Dance again.... Rocketeer

Space 7, nice name

Ran's here, and Hana, and gyaru Sakura, who else? Suzu, yes

Ohhh Suzu here has confidence problems

Oh right, Rio isn't blonde anymore! i forgot

OH RIGHT KOTONE (nakamori, the twin girl)

I'm mainly excited bout Hana, tho i like Ran and Kotone more, oh here's Aita Rin as well, right also her!!!

Yumeki is so scary, and harsh, waiting for the Nakasone class soon

okay, Yumeki makes it go harder on that for Suzu, i see

oh so Suzu isn't good to express, i get it, i saw it, but thought was my idea

Suzu adding karate for... Ran? or both?

oh for everyone!

oh yes, it seemed like rio did better (idk tho... idk bout dance), but i forget she's not blonde anymore so i forget is her

OH RIO HAS NO DANCE EXPERIENCE, important to know for this team

wana pat pat Rio for all this then

it's not Run Run but seems like an INTENSE song, so yeah, wanna pat pat Rio

let's see and not talk

ok, they look so cool!!!!!!

i liked this team more than the run run one (as a whole)

NAKASONE LOL!!!!!!

they looked so cool! danced cool!, all cool

no one last pls (impossible)

Kotone last, nooo sad, but Hana 5th!, Rio 6th

Gyaru 4th and Rin 3rd

all to Ran and Suzu... lowkey want Suzu 1st (and i don't like her that much)

Ran 1st as expected

LAST!!!!

First Love

here's Ayane and Nagomi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Final Love, nice name

"have you been throught a heart break?" hard question Thelma

cute group as well, but Kokona and Nagomi too quiet

ohhhh so Kokona doesn't know

Nagomi worried bby

and kokona as well

Ayane hardworking (i get the harmonizing thingy)

slaying in rehearsal

offff, the meanings thingy

back to "have you been throught a heart break?"

no one, lol

reinterpreting the song time

i like this!!!!

new class with more emotions

lol they close their eyes too much

Kokona not knowing how to express things on face, understand sometimes

can't keep eye contact dsauihdfyiuhgasd this is a group of introverted girls

many practices, randomly with thelma's methode

24/7 practice lol

i'm excited bout this group cuz song me likes

show time

AYANEEEEEEEEEEEEE i wanna cry now

so touching her voice

Rino too, that lower tone is calm

OMG Kokona

NAGOMI AND AYANE HARMONIZING

OMG NAGOMI BBY!!!!!!!

lol nakasone standing up w nagomi

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

I WANNA CRY

i'm crying now, i cannot even talk bout the performance, got in my feels somehow

they slayed!!!! my introverted girls slayed!!!!

everyone is crying from the girls watching!!!

AYANEEEEEEE NAGOMIIIIIII KOKONAAAAA RINOOOOOOO

Kokona is crying because she's happy for the team!!!

no one last pls (impossible) fr no one!!!!

no one deserves last

is Kokona last nooo

Nagomi 2nd!

Ayane first i think!

no?! Rino 1st?! shooketh

no bby

i get it, i'd feel the same my dear Ayane, but i swear you all did so good, hard to even think there was more than 2 places

okay groups positions battle now?

vocal first, all groups except for Miu's (shine a light) were so good in general... but who'll get the 110k points

Momoka got 492 votes wow

Hero, Yui how many?

479 votes, Momoka stays first

Hina how many? 475

omg will Momoka win here?!

Rino? i can't think Rino can win, but...

MOMOKA WON!!!! OMG I'M SO PROUD

oh lol Tsuzumi tied with Ayane

Rap now

but i can't say bout Keiko

Keiko has 479 okay

BUT MOMONA?!

OMG Kassa 473, that was close (but idk how Keiko did personally)

NOW DANCE!

not Ranka pls!!!!

I say Joa, or Ran!

how many got Ranka? 467?

Nano???? 462 nooooo, i don't want Ranka to win

Joa?!!!!! she can get 220k.... pls, Joa win over Ranka!!!! and pls not 0

how many for Joa?! 494!!!!!! yes!!!! get Ranka far from there!!!

now Ran? Ran tell me you won against Joa, i don't want her to stay w 0 votes

noooo 509

poor Joa!!!!! Ran ran over Joa, and the Run run group

i'm so sad for the run run team, even tho only Joa and Yurara shined

this is so sad.... move on, i want mbti lab to not cry

i can't accept that the Run run team is staying w less (0) votes than Ranka and Rimika!

omg Haruka stop being cute i wanna be sad for the run run team

Rinon is wise with words

concept evaluation next week? 5 original songs?

MBTI LAB!!!!

was fun, yes mood the xNxP girls (i'm INTP as Ayane and Haruka)

[trollcafe]

Yes please, I would love to hear about your descendants!

"Wonderful! Now, mind you, I only have two descendants of my own.

Juleus and Augest. Or as some may know them, Jules and Dr. Auggie. Auggie is the eldest. I've spoken with him several times. He looks more like Necrol than he does me but he wouldn't know- he was hatched blind! He's an astronomer, studies stars and they way he believes they communicate, studies radiowaves and all sorts of fancy science I'm not privy to. Not Fleet sponsored, mind you, he's one of two who has managed to avoid the Fleet. Smart bastard. Considers himself unremarkable because of a lack of a title, but if anything his dedication to keep going despite honor says more than any title can. He's got no descendants of his own.

Juleus, however...he doesn't look a thing like me. Not sure where he sprouted from. He left the hive early to be a pirate, followed by his moirail Brutus. From what I hear, Juleus was quite the first mate! That's where he earned his title, after all. Where Augest has avoided buckets, Juleus...well, there's a handful of crude jokes I'll refrain from making. Juleus was sort of...grandfathered into the Fleet. The story goes that Brutus got their ship captured, and Juleus negotiated trading his freedom for theirs. Using his status as a Monark freed his captain, but ultimately left himself trapped. As such, he developed an obsession with creating the perfect descendant. The perfect Monark to take over his spot. Most did not survive, but I'm more than happy to dig into those who have.

The eldest is Archai. Juleus got close with Chai, but she was hatched with a weak immune system. I believe the way Juleus went about creating his descendants was by mixing castes with himself. He tried fuchsia and fuchsia here. Good in theory, but ultimately produced a sickly grub. Though she tried, she simply couldn't stay healthy. I've had lots of conversations with Chai. She's very sweet, very patient. You'd never guess how far she got. She spends her time studying art history now! A wonderful change of pace for her. On Alternia, she has access to the medications she needs to stay healthy, and hasn't had a flare-up in some time.

Next would be Jawska. Or JK, as he prefers. Juleus tried rust and fuchsia with this one. Jawska is the second Monark who managed to avoid Fleet service, but he isn' without hardships of his own. From what he said, MegaDad kicked him out at a very young age to prevent Juleus from finding him. JK is a scrappy, intelligent, but surprisingly meek fellow. You can really see the lowblood in him when he gets cornered. Quick thinker, very hardy. Juleus would've had a successful heir, even with JK's bad back. If you ask me, it's a good thing he never found him. JK was a tattoo artist, shifted gears to being a seamster, and has started to shift back into art once again. He only came to my attention after a random attack seemingly killed him. My good friend Sinopa took care of it, and now Jawska is right as rain again. He's shown me pictures of his moirails, they make a cute trio.

That leads me to the twins. Now, you may be unaware, but Juleus is incapable of harming children. Maybe it's some old pirate code he follows, but he refuses to harm a child, no matter the cost. He didn't want twins, so he picked the strongest of the two, and told a business partner to get rid of the other. Rather than doing that, Boznik decided to keep Bruuno, and raise her himself. Whether he did a good job or not is besides the point. Bruuno is better known as Bruuno Sinopa, international rockstar and lead of his little band Whysteria. A different last name can't hide just how much of a Monark he is- spitting image of myself, if you ask me. Juleus had the most success with these two, combining fuchsia and purple. As such, Bruuno retained the powers I myself has, though they're more like chucklevoodoos. I'm not even sure she's aware of it!

Then Leonra, is his twin. Where Bruuno got chucklevoodoos, Leonra has the strength of a purple and a fuchsia put together. Leonra was the most successful of Juleus' attempts. But telling Leonra what to do is like telling telling a fire not to burn. Juleus lost any possible chance of Leonra taking his spot the second that kid realized how strong he was. Now, I'm no pushover. I may look like a rusty old man, and sometimes I sure feel like one, but you don't obtain the title Annihilation for nothing. I've been in plenty of fights, I've mediated plenty more. And not even I would want to be on the wrong side of Leonra's anger. I was discussing this with a peer the other day- Leonra has the training of the most elite soldiers the Fleet has ever produced, the logical thinking and problem solving capability to rival a damn computer, and lacks the empathy and bloodlust that is often a General's downfall. And yet, all he wishes to do is build his own things, do his own thing. Truly admirable.

The youngest two Monarks are Shiloh and Rumble. Shiloh is Bruuno's descendant, and Rumble is another of Juleus'. However, last I heard, Rumble is safe and away from the Fleet. And Shiloh is happily cared for by Bruuno. I've yet to meet Rumble! I believe she's the result of Juleus and his current matesprit. I have met Shiloh though. She's a very sweet girl."

[flowerprose]

🌷 15 Tags, 15 Mutuals 🌷

thank you so much for the tags, @luckyy19 and @moonluringfrost! i love getting to know more people on here, and these are some great questions!

tagging: @theskeletonprior, @nvjacque, @bebewrites, @pinespittinink, @authoralexharvey, @starlitpage, @sentfromwolves, @dr-paine, @andromedaexists, @imbrisvastatio, @heymacareyna, @theboarsbride, @coffeewritesfiction, @simplesamples, and @cream-and-tea! i tried to tag people who may not have done this yet - if you already have, please tag me in your replies so i can read your answers!

Are you named after anyone? My mother claims I was named after a Russian princess--I have yet to find said Russian princess to back up her claims. What really happened is that my father kept insisting that I be named Alexandra or Alexandria, after him. Instead, she Lorelai Gilmore'd me and named me after her.

When was the last time you cried? Two hours ago. Work has been stressy.

Do you have kids? Not yet. I have mad baby fever right now, but a baby in this economy? I think not.

Do you use sarcasm? Occasionally. I try to be mindful of it because I can come off as condescending.

What's the first thing you notice about people? Their jaws. I have a square-shaped jaw (think Brennan in Bones) and I used to hate it so much. Now I admire jawlines a lot. I'm also obsessed with noses. They are such a signature part of our face - it depresses me when people want to change theirs.

What's your eye color? Blue.

Scary movies or happy endings? Both.

Any special talents? Unsure. The only thing I ever really get complimented on is my writing (and makeup). But I know it's not refined, developed, or as coherent as it could be. I'm still growing as a writer.

Where were you born? In Newfoundland.

What are your hobbies? Trying to figure this out! I mentioned to a friend yesterday that I think I've made writing too much of my identity. I don't know what I like to do anymore outside of it. I'd really like to get back into embroidery. Craft miniatures, garden on my balcony, sew my own clothes, learn ballet and pole dancing and pilates.

Have you any pets? Yes! I have two wonderfully affectionate cats named Bailey and Cather. Though they're from different litters, three months apart, they even share the same Mother!

What sports do you play/have played? Gymnastics, basketball, and curling.

How tall are you? 5'7.

Favorite subject in school? English, history, and French. I won awards for all three!

Dream job? If I'm being honest about what my absolute dream is... published, award-winning author. I don't know if I can have it all though, haha.

[somethingwittyandweird]

Dawn of a New Year- 2024

Getting a bit of a later start on this one than last year's, which went out day of. But, there's a few days yet before the fresh shiny coating falls off this new year completely. Plenty of time to do some reflection on the last one and looking forward to this one. So, with that said...

It's been another year that passed for certain. Again, it's been pretty devoid of watershed moments or drastic living situation shifts for me. When I made this post this time last year, I said that I knew a change would happen, but it hadn't happened then and it didn't look as though it would anytime soon. In that, at least, the projection didn't change. And this is good! Like it was last year, it says a lot that I'm in a comfortable and secure environment on nobody's timetable to change but my own. That's a blessing of a sort that I wouldn't take for granted.

But, if there's anything that does differ from last year to this, I get the impress I'm closer to that change. Literally, in the broad sense that time is constantly moving me closer to every future point. But, it's also in a more specific sense- the things that I know are going to change haven't changed yet, but I feel like they're closer to it than they were last time this post rolled by. If nothing else, this year I'll have to get my own health insurance, so that's the first sign that the times of change are rolling in. That's why I intend to look into that over the coming months, and in the process, potentially look into other things too. It's finally time for part of that uncertain change to come at me for certain, so I'd better meet it head on.

But, before we get there, that's not to say I did nothing this year at all. It was another good year of time spent with friends, in online communities familiar and new- being in tabletop sessions, sitting in voice calls, chilling in plenty of livestreams, and much more. I'm lucky again to be part of so many communities of people from all over the world, and I'm lucky to be finding more such communities to join all the time. It means the world to me whenever a friend or mutual decides I'd be a good addition to an undiscovered circle of theirs.

I posted all my swordtember art to Tumblr this year, realizing that I had as much audience here as any other site, and I intend to keep that going as long as I'm around. I could resolve to try and draw more things outside of that month, but conjuring creative inspiration on command remains a difficult prospect. That said, I think it would be wonderful if the year ahead had a big project in store that I could really get the gears turning with. I'm optimistic about the possibility.

I already made my post about the games that I enjoyed in 2023, and I'm delighted here at the end of the year to report that here at the end of the year I'm within sight of the endings to a few more backlog titles (Just to name one, in between now and then I've beaten the main story of Pokemon Ranger: Shadows of Almia and I'm working on the postgame). Along with these, this year had me flipping out when The Owl House's final episodes aired, and the wry, informative humor of Well There's Your Problem began accompanying my work commute. For 2024, I don't know if there's any particular media I'm anticipating (most of my home franchises chose this past year for their new entry) but even so I'm certain I'll find something new to check out. Perhaps it'll be a good year to get into one or more of the series my friends have long raved about...

As I write all this up, I would like to give a special shoutout to one of the aforementioned new friends/friend circles that I came into in 2023: @skysometric. Aside from being funny, a great friend, and just a general boon to know, something I really have enjoyed about coming into her space is seeing how intentional her online presence is. From her custom website to her commentary posts on her projects to the way she uses her blog as, of all things, a blog in the original and traditional sense, she puts herself out there very visibly, creating and urging others to create by example. And I've come to really appreciate that.

That's the thing about existing online: you have to be speaking up for your presence to be felt. Being around is one thing, but if you never say a word, it can be easy to just be one username of many. And as someone who trends towards simply lurking and being around myself, there's nothing wrong with that. But, for as much as I enjoy seeing the things my friends get up to, I think I could be a little more visible in talking about my own activities- give them more of a chance to enjoy seeing what I'm up to. I want to be present in other people's lives as much as they are in mine.

I said it last year, but it bears repeating: I don't get to know how long someone's in my life for. Websites can close, friend groups can drift apart, people can leave this life for the next. Perhaps I think too much about the fact that someday that change will come. But since I don't get to know that and can't do anything about that, the only thing I really can do is cherish others now, and let the future be its own concern. And I intend to.

Thank you, all of my dear friends and beloved mutuals. I hope I can keep sharing this online space with you for a long time to come. You brighten my days with your presence. I hope 2024 has good things in store for you, be that strength, love, reassurance, a much-needed sea change, or whatever you've been needing in your life. Once again, the best year I can wish for is one where every day is better than the last, and every evening we all go to bed just a little more improved than the evening before.

Happy 2024.

[bronzefuryfic]

I wanted to ask this question about Rhae, but I forgot. Is her last name being Targaryen out of her choice or more related to the formality of Westerosi law (since it pushes for the father name to be attached to the children over the mothers)?

Hello! This is a great question!!!

The answer is pretty complicated, as I've blended a couple of worldbuilding pieces to decide on Rhae's last name.

In most instances, a child would inherit the name of the parent they're inheriting their titles from. That is to say, since Rhea Royce was a Lady in her own right, and Daemon was her consort, their children would inherit the Royce name. Thereby, Rhae would be Rhae Royce.

However, while common-practice, there are other factors that might influence this. Namely- power.

For example, in this same era, Corlys pushes King Viserys to decree that Rhaenyra's children take the Velaryon name, through Laenor. He argues this point on the idea that children inherit the father's name. This would be improper by the principle I highlighted above, but Corlys is making a power-move. Knowing that Viserys is desperate to solidify the Velaryons as allies, Corlys is using that leverage to make the Targaryen Throne into the Velaryon's. Corlys himself knows that he's overstepping, and while he doesn't succeed, he does force an interesting change:

Technically, all of Rhaenyra's children should be Targaryens first. Only the child that inherits Driftmark (Luke), would adopt the Velaryon name when he ascended the Driftwood Throne. This is flipped by Corlys' proposal. Now, all the children are Velaryons until one (Jace) inherits the Iron Throne, at which time he will adopt the name Targaryen.

Westerosi law (especially as it relates to inheritance, even moreso with daughters) is incredibly contradictory- what matters more is who has the power of enforcement. Any actions can be justified "by the law", depending on the decisions of those with influence.

Now, back to Rhae's situation. Technically, she should have always been "Royce". However, since this is near the height of Targaryen power, I thought it would be more interesting to indicate their influence by asserting that she take their name over Rhea's. When Daemon and Rhea were betrothed, it's said to have been to solidify Targaryen power in the Vale. So (in my story) when Daemon and Rhea were betrothed, it was with an addendum that their children inherit Daemon's family name. It breaks tradition, but it is once again a show of power.

From Chapter One:

But resenting [Daemon] did nothing to change her heritage. Rhae was the only person bearing the Targaryen name in all the Vale... her position was thus a precarious one. She was the heir to Runestone, but shared the name of the butcher who'd killed her predecessor. To some, to have a Targaryen sit the ancestral seat of House Royce was a great insult. As she was a woman, an engagement could easily remedy this slight... but there were those in Runestone that recognized the power in her name.

House Royce's displeasure at having a Targaryen heir is noted, as well as an avenue for reversing this play by the Targaryens. Rhae could marry a Royce cousin (remember- cousin incest is considered acceptable by Westeros). However, there's another path that will be explored in the future:

Because Rhae is a baby when she ascends, Ser Gerold acts as her regent. Regency typically ends when the heir comes of age, which is 16-years-old in Westeros. Because Rhae is 15, this hasn't happened yet. But when it does... Rhae in theory could choose to take on the Royce name herself. How? It's a weird situation- Daemon and Rhea's marriage was a failure. Daemon didn't uphold the Targaryen's half of the arrangement, and so I think there's room for the Royces to drop theirs:

Daemon had never disowned his eldest daughter, but he'd never extended a hand to her either. It was as though [Rhae] didn't exist, even as obvious as it may be she was a trueborn Targaryen. What House Royce remembers, the House of the Dragon forgets.

Jeyne Arryn rejects Daemon's claim to Runestone (which he didn't technically have), and he never used his power as a Targaryen (backing from the King, Caraxes) to pursue it further. In a similar vain, if Rhae adopted "Royce" as her name, I think she would face very little backlash from Viserys (and Daemon doesn't seem interested in involving himself). Everything about the arrangement has already been largely forgotten, and the King is incredibly conflict averse.

Regardless, the point is, right now Rhae carries the Targaryen name, and is considering a marriage to another Targaryen. House Royce will likely have a problem with that, as Rhae is somewhat supposed to be "undercover" and still primarily looking out for their interests.

Her name will be discussed more explicitly- when Rhae comes of age and makes her return to Runestone. Both because of House Royce's interest in keeping Runestone under their name, and to further explore Rhae's ongoing identity crisis.

(There's a lot tied to Rhae's conflicting identities in her first name too! "Rhae" is "Rhea", but with the letters flipped around. But!! It's also a shortened version of notable Targaryen names like Rhaenyra, Rhaenys, and Rhaena. Therefore, like the name's holder, the name itself is also "not quite Rhea" and "not fully Targaryen".)

[youarentamaybeyoureayes]

Oh my gosh, yessssss! What you said about R*nis kept saying if Olivia was not to leave the show, they would be endgame. I made a post about Rina and compare to s2 to realize that Rina has been there all along with too many signs on reddit so Rinas would gush and discuss about how they have noticed the signs now with s4 explaining everything. So anyways, just yesterday, I got notification from Rini basically saying, "You all are dumb as hell. If Olivia hasn't left the show, they would be together. They would be endgame. You all are so dumb." Like she thinks that insulting us all would what? Make it true? It was so amusing to see how pressed she was enough to come in my post and insult all of us because we were discussing about Rina history. I had to call her out that you need to research it first before coming in here and calling us names because you think you are so smart to say such things when it's so obvious you had completely no idea what you are talking about. I really HAD no energy to fight with her because I knew it was such waste of time and she wouldn't listen to a reason so what's the point. So your post is exactly accurate. I kept seeing crap like that and it's really annoying.

exactly like, even on youtube recently, you can't even look at a few comments on some of the new rina videos without a bitter r*ni or p*rtwell who hasn't watched the show since season 2 or started boycotting during season 3 once they saw their ships had no chance at surviving coming to complain about how much they miss r*ni and how despite so many things proving otherwise, they would've been the real "endgame" of the show. i genuinely think a lot of it not only has to do with the fact that a lot of r*nis were also j*livias, which honestly has to be one of the biggest reasons the ship saw any semblance of hype to begin with, because the material alone is simply and never has been there. but since they're j*livias, they're perpetually stuck in season 1, unable to move on from it and unable to accept that any other ship could've been endgame just because they got theirs almost three years ago at this point.

it doesn't help that a lot of locals are r*nis, and most of them have abandoned the show or claim that the later seasons are inferior because of nostalgia and refusal to accept the ships that ended up happening because it didn't align with what their idea of the show was. so unfortunately, they remain to be loud and bitter. i honestly thought they'd shut up after season 3, but rina being endgame really ended up driving them to the brink of insanity.

overall, it's still fun to relish in the fact that we did get the endgame no matter how many people are bitter about it. just annoying to see the same tired discourse pop up over and over again. especially because, had they actually been right (and we all know they aren't) what is it going to change? they even gave them p*rtwell when ricky and gina weren't together and that still ended up crashing and burning just as much as r*ni did.

at the end of the day, r*nis are just bitter that the show didn't end with ricky single and pining for nini. most of them didn't even actually ship p*rtwell either because they hated (and some still do) gina and barely began tolerating ej until he got out of the way of r*ni. they would have rather had the show end with ricky being single if it wasn't going to be nini to come running back to him despite feeling suffocated by him. r*ni was practically their last existing lifeline to j*livia, and since they didn't get it, all they can do is complain.

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

for the deep fic writer asks: 2, 10, 16 & 19

2. what’s a fic that took you to an emotional/dark/hard place?

Oh god. I'm gonna have to go back quite a few years but I wrote two fics that I have a hard time revisiting. I really need to edit one, though, because I made a creative decision that didn't work.

A Deafening Distance is a Supernatural fic where Dean said yes to Michael, and Sam and Cas are left to pick up the pieces. There is a mini cast of OCs and I thought it would be funny to name the OCs after the actors but some people found it disorienting. I keep meaning to change that but I haven't been able to visit this fic and I posted it in 2010.

Wishing Well was a Cap Kink Meme fill back when kink memes were a huge thing on LJ. It's a CATFA fic and the prompt was "kissing lessons" and it's from Howard Stark's POV and I kept the ending the same as the movie so it was... it's really sad? But it's a good kind of sad, if that makes sense.

P.S. The ficmix I made for this fic still wrecks me.

10. how has writing positively impacted your mental health or overall mood?

All I can say is, if I can't write I'll go fucking mad. My brain is always on its bullshit. I maybe spent late elementary through early middle school obsessing over 1 ginormous crossover fic that I wrote in my head; it had its own soundtrack and score and the character voices I swear were on point and it was all I could think about. I still remember it all these years later because I never wrote it down. It seared itself in my head. Being able to write is like venting a pressure cooker and keeps me sane and focused.

16. Do you re-read old fics? Is there a time in your writing you won’t go back to?

I will not touch anything I wrote and posted to FFN. I refuse. But I'll re-read old fics I posted to AO3. I spent hours tracking down all my old Transformers fics in my old external HDDs to read and feel sad over the stories I wanted to tell but couldn't. I'll revisit the massive Tronfic that imo changed my life forever and is still my personal standard that I am always reaching for with my newer fics. I'll also click the back button on some of my fics because those stories just don't cut it for me anymore. It's nice to look back on your older work to see what held up, what didn't, what trends you kept, and how much you changed since you posted those fics.

19. If you could write an ideal fic, what would it include?

My ideal fic would have a deliciously slow burn romance against a plotty backdrop steeped in political conflicts and sociopolitical change/revolution. I think that's one of the reasons why I'm still going so hard and heavy for dinluke; I get so insane just thinking about the parallels between Din and Luke and their respective cultures/heritages, the play on "enemies to lovers" but on a generational scale where Din heard stories, where Mandalorian armor and weapons are designed to fight the Jedi, and Luke? Knows not enough because he has nothing but the teachings of two Jedi ghosts, whatever he can scavenge and salvage of the Jedi Order, stories from people who still remember the Jedi. Din is of an endangered people and Luke is of a nearly extinct people, and while Din tripped and fell into being the wielder of the Darksaber, Luke chose to try to reclaim and rebuild the Order. And they only crossed paths because Din sacrificed his covert for a Jedi youngling and went through hell to reunite Grogu with his kind. It's insane. They're insane. They drive me insane.

I am also so endlessly fascinated by this post-war galaxy, the rippling consequences of the Empire's downfall, the generational conflict between people who grew up while the Empire was in power vs. people who remembered the last years of the Galactic Republic, the struggles of a New Republic building on the ashes of the Empire and memories of the Galatic Republic, all the cartels and crime syndicates/organizations rushing in to get theirs, the displaced peoples either trying to come home or make a place for themselves in a turbulent galaxy, etc, etc, etc.

Uh. Yeah. I'm that kind of fic writer/fandom person.

Fuck that was a really long answer, oops.

Play ask games, win ask prizes.

[polyamorouspunk]

legimately feel bad for gen z, never grew up with privacy and stuff like that. I know that one anon ofc very clearly stepped outta line n I made the joke anon msg about how u gotta tell me all ur info so I can call u a faker, but like legimately it's sad seeing kids put all their info online and when they're available or not etc etc, lotta gen z didn't grow up with properly privacy and the newer generation has it even worse. I hope the kids will be alright n we can push them into having more anonymity and privacy.

I said this in the tags but honestly if someone genuinely asks me a question about myself, I will answer, honestly sometimes even if it’s something I want to keep private. Recent events have reminded me that literally anyone can see this blog and follow me and I have no idea who they are. My Instagram isn’t private when a lot of people I know have theirs private but also I don’t really tag anything from where I live, the most I do is post pictures from my house but not with the town or anything. But I mean you can easily find where I work on here (like the exact store) if you tried, I’m pretty sure I’ve posted my full name multiple times on Savvy’s blog because I think I also grew up in that era where online privacy wasn’t a thing. I mean of course I got the “creepy men might be behind the computer screen catfishing you” but like idk I’m not saying I haven’t done things like that, they’re just mentioned conversationally not in a pinned post. I mean you can find my full first name on Savvy’s blog, obviously I don’t go by that and she prefers to go by Savvy because both are a bit more gender neutral and just more comfortable for us but. I have absolutely learned how to manipulate people to call them out for things I don’t like about them… mostly when they’re like exclusionists but if I really tried I’m sure I have the technical skills to like “cancel” someone for something they didn’t even mean out of context. I learned that by growing up in the internet age. How to take things out of context. That’s not really what you’re talking about but just another thing that came to mind. Like how much easier it is now to fake things and how 1. we are less trained to spot them and 2. they are deliberately made to be harder to spot as fakes. I mean I have had penpals though, I did just send out a shirt to someone who Savvy is mutuals with so like I have their address and they have mine. It’s a fine line. But I mean I used to listen to a stalker podcast (and by this I mean a literal podcast where two people interviews victims of stalking and told their story) and some of the stuff I heard on there was WILD. Just listened to a case I finished like half an hour ago about a woman who catfished a man into thinking he was dating her dying niece who the government and doctors were trying to kill and people ended up dying from the situation all from her charade of having multiple phone numbers and being able to fake personalities of characters she made up really easily. Just wild stuff. Had an assignment due last night that was a discussion board in biology and someone brought up technology and I was like we have the technology to literally change your bone structure and shit. Not the same as social media obviously but just like wild shit. Even at thanksgiving hearing one of my cousins was constantly talking to a boy in her class but my family said in class they like never speak to each other and I’m like that’s so wild. You don’t speak face to face but you see him every day. But you talk to him for hours every night. Just stuff like that is such a cultural shift. Such a fine line too as a parent between not trying to be overbearing and like read your kids text messages but also make sure they’re being safe. Can’t imagine how to navigate that as a parent. Like how do you know your child isn’t sending photos of themselves on Snapchat. Without like invading their privacy and reading their messages and stuff. Just wild.

[enhyz]

"ours." (teaser)

pairing : enha hyung line x sub! fem! reader.

genre : smut, fluff. (marking, slight corruption, daddy kink, sir kink, excessive use of pet names, dom! enha hyung line.)

release date : tbd.

taglist : closed.

warnings : will include smut, possessive themes, multiple members x reader, more warning will be added soon.

synopsis : they had always been protective of you. for as long as you could remember, your four best friends had been by your side through everything. your first period, your first kiss, your first school dance. you'd never thought of them as more than friends, but when their hands linger on your waist longer than they're supposed to, and when they start chasing off every single person who seems interested in you, what do you do?

"you're ours now, sweetheart."

a/n : omg okay so I've been waiting to write this for such a long time now, and I just haven't had the time. this might just be my first series, if I decide to turn it into one, but the thought of being theirs? I cannot sjhdjshshs, this will be a sort of poly! hyung line x reader fic, and the reader will be a sub, because that's just what I feel like I'd be most comfortable writing about, making the reader a dom is just... not in my forte ajsbsjbsjs.

this will be very sweet and fluffy at times, and also have some very filthy smut, and will probably come out some time in the next two weeks or so! I hope you enjoy <333

fuck. that's all lee heeseung could think as he watched you prance around in the small skirt jay had picked out for you to try on at the mall. he had been sitting to the side and scrolling through his phone when he heard your voice, looking up before catching your eyes, his eyes raking down your body. "what'd you think hee?" you giggled, twirling around lightly for him, as he licked his lips. "you look gorgeous princess." he said, smiling as he tried to contain his thoughts so that he wouldn't pop a boner in the middle of the store. "see, I told you he would like it, jongseongie!" you said, grinning and walking back into the changing room. heeseung turned to jay with a displeased expression on his face as the said boy just smirked at him. "what?" he asked. "it's too short." "why do you think I picked it out?" jay said, giving him one last look before walking away. "jake and hoon are going to freak out." heeseung thought, the image of you in that skirt burnt into his mind. at least he had something to jack off to that night.

the boys had always been very open with each other about the fact that they all liked you. it had never been a problem to them, and they'd spent numerous nights staying up and talking about how they would one day confess to you. have you in their arms, have you stuffed full of their cum, your soft lips pressed against theirs. "soon." he thought, soon they would tell you everything.