#Id read the fuck out of a long ass fic with this

[orcelito]

OK. Can't report any more progress made on the chapter bc I got caught up reading a fic lmaoooooo

Oh well. There's always tomorrow.

[inf3ct3dd]

ACT 1. TROUBLE

summary: the plan hatches.

warnings: mentions of death, sex joke

wc: 3k

authors note: this fic has been my wonderfully niche vision for so long.... i hope you all enjoy

next chapter. masterlist

the unforgiving blaring heat of the desert was torturous.

the sun seemed to be beaming from right above, practically frying you and your companions skin as you treaded through the sand. one suffering the consequences worse than another, skin resembling a boiled lobster.

dry, chapped lips silently begging for water, only to be met with the sting of saltwater sweat dripping onto them. you can try to lick them away, but it will only worsen the pain. pain, your muscles ache and your bones feel as if they’ll crumble if you step forward once more. you needed…out.…of the heat……

ah, alas, a river! oh, how lovely, a quench to the terrible thirst…. you reach out towards it, cupping your hands to drink, and are met with the hot, cruel surface of a car door.

“are you done, r? you’re gonna set off the alarm.” ellie had destroyed your dramatic scene , rolling her eyes and slumping down on the concrete next to the car. her long ass jorts protected her skin from the heat of the ground.

“no, it can’t be! twas a mirage, my mind has fooled me!” draping a dramatic hand across your forehead, you’re met with a moist surface that you wipe away onto your shorts, falling next to the girl. your shorts however, did not protect you. you slightly hissed in pain, before bringing your knees to your chest.

“they shouldn’t have let you read othello. i think you’re actually going insane.” she bluntly remarks, offering you a light giggle.

your english teacher, honors english if you wanna brag, had just started a shakespeare unit, and you were over the moon. being the first to volunteer to read in class, writing your own gorgeous sonnets about even more gorgeous subjects , and torturing ellie with your constant chiming of “shall i compare thee to a midsummers day?”

“ugh, you hate to see a girl being theatrical.” with a quick roll of your eyes, you crossed your arms and pouted.

“yes, i do.”

ellie knew it wasn’t one of your actual sad pouts, like when she accidentally killed the snail you two found, but simply you being….theatrical. like your wonderful performance in the school musical last year, as sharpay in high school musical. was that fuckass blonde wig a disgrace? absolutely. but your wonderful acting skills distracted from it, or so you hoped.

“you know whats actually making me go insane? the fact that you made me walk to 7-11 in this heat!!! you tryna kill me?”

the taste of the slushy was still lingering in your mouth , along with the red color on your tounge, but the cold it brought was long gone.

“oh my lady, i would never do such a thing! but alas, i required a refreshment, and id hate to go alone.” ellie counters back in her own shitty-british accent , holding a hand to her chest.

“see, told you its fun.” you nudged her elbow with your own, sweaty limbs colliding with a gross “splat”.

“yeah yeah, whatever. you’re right about everything, my glorious queen-“

“indeed!” you interrupted, pout replaced with a cheeky smile.

you both sat for a second, catching your breath. your eyes wandered to ellies arms, and you noticed she had turned into a lobster. her arms were bright red and sunburnt, and you reached out to poke her.

“ow-fuck! why did you do that!!” she winced in pain, moving her arm away.

“jesus, why do you never put on sunscreen? you trying to get tan or something?”

“i didn’t think it would be this bad outside..”

“you’re stupid.”

“you’re mean..”

after a while of you both sitting in comfortable silence, both of your eyes fall on the vehicle across the street. it was the one thing you always loved staring at on this street. the ferrari was reflecting all the beams of ultraviolet hitting it, practically glowing in the humid hellscape. the dashboard and practically everything else was smothered in dust, the cause probably being its idle parking spot, same one it had been occupying since you and ellie were 5 years old. the black detailing and the shiny silver horse enchanted you, despite the cars mildly decrepit state. 13 years later, you wondered if it would even still run. wondered how the engine would feel rumbling underneath you as you pushed against the wind down the empty streets.

people always make driving seem so crazy and thrilling in movies. sharp turns, constant speeding, drifting, it was like the road was a rollercoaster. or maybe you had just watched too many fast and furious movies with your dad.

but every time you were in a car, you were calm. always having an arm out the window, sometimes waving your hand like the ocean, and others making finger legs and doing parkour off of the other cars. when it rained, especially at night, you’d always beg your dad to drive you around. you’d try to count the raindrops on the windshield , and often times you’d let the taps on the windows lull you to sleep.

you have many memories of your dad taking you on drives to get you to sleep. especially when you were younger, and didn’t want to go to bed because you ‘weren’t tired’. every time, he’d just say “you don’t have to sleep, just rest.” sometimes he’d sing the songs he burned onto his cds, other times he’d make lists of things you wanted to do the next day. but no matter what, within 10 minutes you were always out cold. most times he’d keep driving for a bit, just to make sure you were really sleeping, and then carry you as gently as possible up to your room.

now, you knew better than to try and make him carry you up the stairs. you’d have a dramatic stretch, and practically drag yourself to your house before flopping down on the couch. half of the time face first.

you never wanted to be the one driving, though. you didn’t trust yourself behind the wheel, thinking you’d get too relaxed and doze off the second you started driving. or get into a crash. every time you did bumper carts, you’d be the one annoying all the little kids by hitting them a thousand times with your car. plus, highways are scary as fuck.

but for some reason, every time you saw that car parked down your street, you imagined yourself behind the wheel. always with some of those cool ass driving gloves on, and the scorpion jacket ryan gosling had in drive. you’d drift like all those cool dudes in your dads movies, and never ever crash into anyone on the highway. you thought it was blessed with some spell that made everyone who drove it amazing at driving.

ellie had zero faith in you though.

“you’d total that thing in five seconds. do you not remember the last time you tried to drive?”

her rude remark reminded you of the “raspberry incident”, as you called it, from last summer. you were at your grandmas in the countryside, her in the passenger of her big ass suburban trying to teach you to drive in the raspberry fields. you had been pushing a bit hard on the gas a few times, making her tell you to “calm down” , but you were a damn good driver as far as you saw. but it allll went downhill when she made you practice turning. you had turned around one of the rows of berries perfectly, and you were driving a bit too fast to the next corner. but somehow, you turned on the wrong angle and drove straight into the berries. and to make things worse, you kept pushing the gas pedal on accident instead of the brakes. your grandma screaming at you to stop didn’t help much either. you had torn down no more than 1/5 of the row, but nothing happened to the car. a trip to the carwash and it was like nothing ever happened.

“that was soooo long ago. you weren’t even there either! what if i was just over exaggerating when i told you and it wasn’t that bad?”

“you calling yourself a liar?” ellie took a sip of her slushy. the one she made you take this whole treacherous journey for. she was somehow still nursing hers, while yours was in a trash can five blocks back.

“never. how are you still drinking that thing? we’ve been walking for like half an hour!” you grab the drink out of her hand, taking a sip for a biiit too long.

“hey! you can’t even ask? i spent my hard earned money on that thing.“

“oh please, it was only like 3 dollars. you sound like joel right now.”

you both chuckled. ellies dad acted just like yours, that’s probably why they’re such best friends. that and the two dead wives thing, they had a lot in common. and coincidentally, so did you and ellie. you knew each other since you came out of the womb. well, since you came out. ellie was there three weeks before you, and she never let you forget it. constantly on her “respect your elders” bullshit every time you punched her in the arm for stealing your food. you two were fighting over the same toys and blabbering to each other since birth. your parents were convinced you were some baby geniuses that had developed your own language with how much you ‘spoke’ to each other. you two always understood each other.

“whatever dude, i’d be a driving master in that thing. it’d probably be a total chick magnet too. i’d be cleaning that backseat every day.”

ellie poked you in the side at your joke, and you both shoved each other while you laughed.

“yeah, you and your spongebob boxers are definitely soooo seductive.”

“you can’t say shit, you have the matching patrick pair!”

almost half your closet was either clothes you took from ellies house, or ones you bought to match with her. your dad has a whole photo album of old pictures he took of you and her in your matching outfits. and you have a bin in the attic stacked to the brim with your matching halloween costumes. the one matching thing the two of you never took off was your necklaces. it was one of those basic hearts, two pieces of silver that fit together perfectly with “best friends” and an infinity sign engraved on it. you had begged your dad for it while you were at a beach store, and he reluctantly gave in. you had the ‘st ends’ side, and ellie had the ‘be fri’ one. no matter the occasion, even with the excessive amount of necklaces you always wore, that one was always a part of the stack. and ellie only ever wore the one. in fact, the only jewelry she ever wore was the bracelets you two had made for each other and her necklace.

“hey, they’re comfy! i love those things.”

“you know what i’d love?”

“deez nuts in your mouth??”

you slapped ellie on the arm , and she grabbed it in pain.

“fuck you! you know im sensitive right now!!”

“you’ll live. ANYWAYS, i was talking about the car.”

“pssht, who wouldn’t. who leaves a perfect 288 on the side of the road for this long?” ellies inner car-nerd spilled out,eyebrows furrowing in question.

you and ellie had dreamed of that car ever since you were barely taller than the side doors. pretending to drive it when she came over to yours, leaning against it as you ate your ice cream and accidentally setting off the alarm, even peering in through the windows occasionally. the white envelope with a small bulge always intrigued the two of you, desperately wondering what was inside of it. you’d never seen anyone get in or out of it, and you were surprised it lasted this long on this street.

“why’re you still on this anyway? its not like we’re gonna just steal it or something.”

when you stare back at her for a bit too long, she sighs at you and rolls her eyes. your dumb ideas almost always end horribly, and she wasn’t in for all that this summer.

like last year, when you two were working at this big outdoor restaurant. you had somehow convinced her to drive around one of the golf carts, and it ended with you accidentally ramming it into some dudes car. you both quit to avoid the guy, and you’ve never been back since.

“well, why not! i mean really ellie, I’ve seen you break into joels truck before. you could do it.”

it was an isolated incident. she had locked herself out of the car, and she used a random hanger she found in the mall parking lot to squeeze through the crack in the window and unlock the door.

“thats not the same as stealing some random car!!what if the dude who owns it is some mean gangster and he finds out we took his car and he fucking kills us??? or what if its full of a bunch of illegal shit and we get arrested while we’re driving it?”

“since when do you care this much about shit like that? you convinced me to keep a lizard in my closet for three weeks once. plus, do you really think anyone’s gonna come looking for it? that things been there longer than we’ve been alive.”

“even if we do steal it, what if it doesn’t even run anymore? and if it does, are we just gonna hotwire it every time we wanna drive?”

ellie was sadly thinking logically about this , and you weren’t having it. the pout on your face was growing bigger and bigger, and you rolled your eyes at her.

“you’re so boring.”

“im not boring, you’re just insane and impulsive.”

“besides, where would we even hide it? neither of us have a garage or anything.”

“you ask too many questions. come onnnn, this could be our little sappy senior year memory!! even if it goes like, totally wrong and we get arrested or some shit.”

you and ellies high school experience was..lackluster at most. no crazy adventures, no parties, no insane hookups, nothing. every movie about highschool you two had watched had completely lied to you, because it was boring as fuck. i mean, probably not for everyone else, but definitely for you two. this car would be a saving grace for you two, it could top off senior year perfectly.

“your idea of a great senior year memory is grand theft auto?”

“i mean, the games awesome. why not?”

she chuckled a bit at your bad joke, leaving a smile on your face. everything in her was telling her it was an awful idea, but you were giving her your most convincing puppy dog eyes, hands under your chin pleading to her.

you were amazing at persuading her, and the way your eyes practically sparkled when you spoke of even the mere idea of it sent her to the stars. how could she say no to you?

“…let me think about it.”

“WOOOO”

for ellie, ‘let me think about it’ was almost always code for yes. especially when it came to you. the two of you walked back to your house, ellie finally finishing her slushy. she chucked it in your garbage can before leaving you at your door. you tried to hug her goodbye, but she pushed you away.

“lobster skin. it still hurts. youll probably wanna hug me more tomorrow.”

and the next day, at 8:30, ellie showed up at your window with a toolbox smelling like aloe vera.

[the-moon-files]

Wait, quick idea! Twilight looks like the only hylian in his village because everyone else has round ears, so what if he wasn’t as surprised as the others to see their human companion so resilient, but still fairly impressed because of the fact that most if not all people in his village don’t put themselves in as drastic situations as the reader? Or is this just humans from our world?

get out of my head lmao /lh - you, me, and wayfayrr are actually the same person on diff accounts LMAO

im of the belief that (blame @wayfayrr, my beloved) that he knows of humans bc of some in his village but yeah, just not the type of human in drastic situations

(ALSO they wrote me a fun, long, glorious, male reader human space orc au fic for winning their raffle a bit ago, and it brings up their headcanon abt this and i Adore It actually, check it out here pls if u wanna know🤲)

(also if u see this wayfayrr, sorry for the ping, also should i be calling u moss? or wayfayrr?? idk which, i hope thats even ok to ask 😭 i assumed u would call my ass Moon)

Moon: Male-Masc Reader (he/him)

Orbit: short headcanons-ish, rambling mostly

Stars: Twilight Princess Link (Twi/Twilight), mentions of other Links

Comets & Meteors: CWs: none known, & TWs: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

to reiterate what i said up there, in case u skipped it for the bullet points,

i like the headcanon he knows humans, knows some of their quirks, and how they were the first ppl the other hylian villagers called on to help stuck cows or downed wagons, lots of heavy lifting stuff

but he really hasnt seen the extent of real humans, bc the humans who were in Ordon, well, they lived in hylian society,

why would they need the adrenaline to lift a car when hylians have set up whole tools and systems in all their towns to help lift just a full bucket of water out of the well??

not to mention, i think all the humans in his village were older adults? like at least not the age theyd be doing things like parkour or going to any trampoline parks type of age,

id imagine its more like stories talked about amongst hylians how hard humans can go, and even the humans themselves talked abt things like,

“well compared to u hylians, we have stomachs made of molten lava to you guys really, but we never have to use it, bc u know hylian food works just fine”

when Twi asked they would say stuff like that, but as soon as he saw ur human ass just picking wildflowers and berries off the side of the road to snack on? even random grasses/vines at some point (kudzu)?? easily eating Wild’s Dubious Food that's DEFINITELY got monster parts in it???! gnawing on the bone of a cucco and it just breaks??!!! and you look surprised too, thank fuck finally a normal reaction from u- oh my goddesses u were just curious (damn the elders were right abt human curiosity too) **and are now sucking out the marrow and eating the bone-!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twilight’s perspective of you is actually the equivalent of like, reading stories about vampires all ur life, then this new friend you made starts to get allergic to garlic, crave blood, has crazy strength and advanced senses, etc

and he’s just watching those honest-to-Hylia human mythological feats play out in real time in front of him, like he’s the only self-aware character in the story that immediately clocks the really obvious vampire as a vampire lmao

is the first to either 1. start choking on his laugh as he theoretically knows ur about to jump on the back of a lynel/hinox to ride it around and watch as the others come to the same conclusion OR 2. try to Stop you from jumping on said big monster in an attempt to ride it around bc he gets used to ur human BS quicker than the others and can see it coming a mile away now lol

very much so this meme:

(ur welcome i made it myself <3)

anyway id love to rant abt this dynamic

abt both Twi’s shock at you eating peppers like a god has come down from the sky to prove their immortality,

but also poor rancher esstientally humansitting you too lmao

the Chain/Time/Wars absolutely put him down as the resident human expert like: “ok he just drank like, 5? No- Four stop him from drinking more at least- (dual sighs). okay, 6 stamina potions, will that kill him??”

Twilight, saviour of Hyrule, of the Twili, Link from Twilight Princess himself,

has to keep a record book of all the new shit he’s heard/learned about humans in Ordon, what he has actively learned abt ur ass just fucking around and finding out, and the few bread crumbs of information u give him abt ur species

(that rlly just come off as kind of cryptid statements abt u/humanity, or don't apply in this scenario bc ur only comparison is Earth Rules, which honestly scare every single fucking one of them in the same way as walking on Ganon’s lawn or something, like straight up view ur home planet as enemy territory, the Amazon jungle, the Hyrule wilds if you will-)

Twilight also gets involuntarily volunteered for human-sitting duty too

tbh the only person Not allowed on human-sitting duty, when u guys go new areas esp, is Wild/Hyrule

you’d tell him you wanna get inside the guardian robot to operate it and ride it around and he’d probably be in shock you even fathomed something like that, yet also now EXTREMELY intrigued to watch it play out

(they’re both more of a “u wanna jump off a cliff?? that's actually crazy, wait for me please.” he seems to think he can somehow protect you if he joins you? its worked sometimes to be fair to him ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ just not really conveniently when the rest of the Chain are around lmao)

☆

i live btw, ive been writing/updating fics along with life updates (moving states/new job/online class) so a few asks will hopefully be answered over here in the next 2ish weeks

no promises, my life is kinda girlbossing at the moment too close to the sun and i am Nervous abt disappointing u guys

i already feel like im disappointing my other blog bc i haven't posted in forever bc im writing a fic instead of asks during any free time i dedicate to writing for it so :/

pls excuse my super slowness like a package ur waiting for in the mail or smth type of slow

AGAIN thanks for the ask!! i hope this was at least entertaining to read as some addon to what u said, you guys have gotta check out some of wayfayrr’s stuff if ur into this, bc they're the only other place i can think of that's talked abt humans not just being the same as hylians

have a great week!!

Peace out hugs and chaos,

🌙

[starieq]

“Lovin her seems tiring..” part 1

Taggies/ warnings; Pro!HeroKats, cheating, fingering, creampie, blowjob, ridding, cumming, squirting, swearing, mention of sex toys, dirty talk, titty fuck, drinking, drunk messaging, dry humping.

a/n: i had a little to much fun with the Taggies/warnings, lmao!: hello! Tysm for all the damn love! I honestly feel really happy I decided to make an account cuz I’d just go on tumblr and read bkg fics. Some of my favorites have liked Stuffie animals and some followed me, which oml🥹 but i’am really just on here to make people’s day and make some new friends:D enjoy my first 18+ fic and tell me what anime characters or characters I should write abt! Love ya! 🤭🫶🏼

part 2!

You’ve been working with Katsuki Bakugo, aka, the more professional word, “Dynamight” for a few months now. As his pretty little assistant, you have to deal with his bull shitting, make meetings for him, make meeting PLANS with other pro heros, schedule trips for him and his little bitch of a girlfriend, Kira. God you fucking hate her. You don’t really wanna admit that you have a big crush on Dynamight, but only your diary knows that information. But, you get why he chose her. She has the perfect long black silk hair that hangs out with her ass, glossy lips, pretty dark green eyes, slim hourglass figure, and perfect pale skin. But, you also don’t know why the fuck he chose her, because all she does on her free time is spend Bakugos money on stuff she wants. You’re also pretty positive she spent some of his money on a fucking boob job. 

You come home to your cute apartment to your cat Loki, stretching on your leg begging to be carried and snuggle up with his favorite human in the world. If you’re feeling in the mood, you’d pick him up and put him on the little bed by the window where he spends most of his time sleeping, when  you two get up, sleeping when you’re getting ready for work, and sleeping when you’re at work. 

Anyways, you’re in the mood to just sit in your bed, legs spread wide, with your box of toys next to you. head propped up on some pillows while your vibration toy is on your puffy sensitive clit thinking of Bakugo pushing his redish pink angry head through your sensitive folds while you’re moaning his name. 

“F-fuck..! C-cant.. f-fucking take i-it! Bak- mh~ Bakugo!” You moan. The white bed sheets turning a light shade of grey. 

You take a look down in between your legs to see what just happened. You’ve never squirted before? Usually your clit would just throb. You swipe off hair from your forehead when you hear your phone ringing. 

You scramble out of the bed to get to your phone which was across the room. 

:caller ID; Dynamight🧡💥:

“Shit!” You whisper yell as you tried to swipe answer.

“Hello? y/n speaking,” you say trying to sound professional and calm since you just fucking squirted.

“Fuckin know who you are.” Bakugo grumbles.

“Sorr-“ Bakugo cuts you off.

“Need ya to schedule a hotel for me and you. Got a fuckin mission in Tokyo and ya need to come with.” He says with an annoyed voice.

“I-“ you get cut off again, but with a girls voice.

“Katsuki! I need more laced bras! Ugh, you’re so cheap! Gimme your card now! And who the fuck are you on call with? Trynna cheat on me while I’m in the same fucking room as you right now?!??” 

You’re guessing that’s Kira. God she’s annoying. She’s obviously a fucking gold digger out for his fame and money. You’d be so much better to him unlike his bratty girlfriend.

“I’m on the fuckin phone with my damn assistant brat! I don’t give two fucks if ya need laced ass bras! Leave me the fuck alone woman!” Bakugo yells. 

“Make the fuckin reservations tonight.” The last sentence he said before hanging up. 

[thelurchinghound]

hiii i dunno if id be first request or if u even take them im so sorry if u dont !!! but i was wondering maybe something yandere non con smut? x human male reader !! kink wise maybe somnophilia, knife play, blood? thank u for reading this, have a nice day/night <33

[Request info] - [Navigation] - [Elias' Pinterest]

Gender: Male reader

Kinks/Warning(s): Non-con, somnophilia, knifeplay, blood, drugging.

A/N: Grrrr I love somnophilia. Didn't know if you wanted a monster yandere so I just made it with my yandere slasher oc who has monster traits but its not really mentioned in this fic. This is a really old request that I got 70% done but then forgot about it.

Oc(s) used: Elias (Killer/Slasher) | Words: 701 | Proofread? No | NSFW |

By hitting 'keep reading' you are accepting that you're 18+ and are fine with reading dark/sensitive content (Don't like? Don't read.)

Elias had been observing you for a while now. He was always watching but never acting on his impulses, and fuck did he have a lot of them. How badly Elias desires to see you gagging on his cock, your tears staining your cheeks, his name carved into your thigh. He had even gifted you a stuffed plush of your favorite animal, a camera in its eye to watch over you. 

He had kept his patience for so long, but then you took that fucking stupid punk home. It drove him up the wall. Literally, Elias climbed up your house and into your room through your window. How stupid were you, doll, to leave your window unlocked? Oh well, it just makes it more uncomplicated for him. It was almost like you wanted this. You took that spiked drink without any thought. He thinks to himself.

Elias quietly slinks through your room, mindful not to knock anything over. His cock was already bulging in his pants, just as enthusiastic as he was. Stalking up to you with a broad grin, his gloved hand skimming your cheek. "Hey there, doll." He whispers to you, his slender body shifting to straddle your own. Fuck, he wanted to tear off all your clothes right then and there but no. He had to be patient. "You're so fucking stunning when you sleep," Elias mutters softly, his gloved hands gingerly working down your unconscious form. Black gooey tendrils slither from under his shirt, reaching out towards you. "I'm going to have so much fun with you."

He used his knife to cut through your shirt to expose your bare chest. The blade cuts your skin a little. Elias trails his lips down from the nape of your neck to the hem of your pants, lapping at any driblets of blood that well up from the thin cuts. His hot tongue rubs up against your perky nipple, his tongue piercing a stark difference to it. He could feel his cock getting more erect at the thought of you under him now. So pure, so innocent, unknowing of what was happening to you. 

Elias wastes no time pulling down your pants. I've waited long enough. He thinks to himself, his hands trembling while pulling down your underwear. Those tendrils of his wrapping around your legs, spreading them out for him. God, you look so beautiful. 

He takes his time prepping you. The killer wasn't that stupid. It's not like he wanted to hurt you too much. He just wanted to make you his own. His gloved hands ran over your body once he got done prepping you, wiping off the lube he used on his pants. Elias fumbled around his pants pocket to grab a condom he had brought. 

He unzips his jeans, pulls his cock out, and slips the protection on him. Once he gets himself situated, he starts to push into your tight ass. Soft groans leave him with each inch he forces into you. "Fuck, there we go. Just let me in, doll."

The black drooping tendrils slither up your thighs more, tightening around like snake coils. The tendrils hold your legs up higher for Elias as he starts thrusting harshly in you. Soft grumbles leave the killer. Elias was finally getting his prize. He had killed so much competition to get here. Many other guys think they could steal you away from him. No. You were his from the start, from the second his eyes laid on you.

His thrust starts to get harder and deeper, balls slapping against you with each movement he makes. Gloved hands gripping your hips, squeezing the supple skin there, the grip would surely leave bruises afterward. Elias starts to get sloppy, leaving small kisses along your neck and collarbone. But just marking you with his mouth wasn't enough. He wanted something more permanent. 

After finally finishing inside you, filling up the condom with his cum he grabs his knife. His tendrils helped move you around so he could carve his name into your flesh. The cold metal of the blade slices your skin in harsh swipes. "Don't worry, baby. I won't let anyone else harm you. Only me."

[zmediaoutlet]

Survey results time.

At time of downloading the data we got just over 300 responses, which is not bad for a survey that was long and complicated to take! I'm sure my shamelessness helped. Being a survey for a specific crowd, we also didn't get anyone (as far as I could tell) taking the survey in bad faith, which is a legit surprise. Special shout-out to the several people who, when asked to write literally anything to say they understood what was going on, wrote "literally anything"; additional shout-out to the person who wrote "penus and hole" (sic). You get it, anonymous person.

I'm going to share the top results for the questions here, but I'll also include the raw data as a sheet at the end in case anyone wants to actually go through it with a fine-tooth comb. This is not a survey where cute pie charts or graphs would be useful or readable, so get ready for some sweet-ass numbers:

Story Genre

Unsurprisingly, our leaderboard for most favorite story genre in the 'Anytime!' category is as follows:

Hurt/comfort (153 votes)

Angst (142 votes)

PWP (139 votes)

We just like the guys to get the shit beaten out of them, angstily, and then they can feel better by jerking off about it. The ideal evening.

The big loser in genre, with 34 buds flat out saying "not for me", was Dark!fic. That said, Dark!fic also got 112 votes (third highest) for "has to be JUST right," so we can probably take from there that while as a group we don't hate dark content, we have pretty strict definitions for a) what counts as dark, and b) what kind of dark we're willing to take.

Gencest/gen was arguably the most 'eh, idk?' of the genres, with respectable showings in every category from Anytime to No; most people don't hate it, but people aren't really seeking it out either. It's definitely There.

Story Setting

The winner of most 'Anytime!' votes for story setting is close to my heart; the podium is:

Bunker era (142 votes)

Canon-close, codas, etc (129 votes)

Pre-series/weechesters (126 votes)

It feels good to know that canon is on our side. This may help explain why various alternate universe settings didn't do so hot with the respondents -- the least fave according to this survey is an age!swap AU, followed by a raised apart!AU. Writers who are making Sam the big brother who lives in Cleveland while baby Dean lives in Seattle, you keep living your truth, but readers are rearing back.

That being said, while Canon Divergence isn't an overall winner, it has a full 149 votes in the 'Dig it' category; so, while we may generally prefer canon, we're willing to be led on a garden path away from it. We just want canon to be within shouting distance, at least.

Canonical Character Variants

Here's where the survey gets more complex. I've always been interested in how and why people are fandoming about things, and simple 'yes/no' surveys rarely dig into that meat. The point of the superego/ego/id separation is to really interrogate -- hey, do you like to read about (for example) soulless!Sam because you find it interesting on a high-minded level, or because your heart-strings are getting tugged even if you think it's kinda dumb, or just because it makes you so hornt-up you can't think straight? All are valid, and all are possible simultaneously, but it's interesting to prod at to see how the interest is working. You might also just be like, eh, it's fine, or GOD, STOP, and that's fine too. So, with all that said:

Superego winners:

demon powers!Sam (202 votes)

soulless!Sam (177 votes)

blood addict!Sam (160 votes)

Y'all like to really brain about how Sam is fucked up. I get it.

Ego winners:

Trials of Hell!Sam (186 votes)

blood addict!Sam (180 votes)

demon powers!Sam (161 votes)

Still all Sam, and no surprise that his saintly pale sleeplessness is winning the heartstrings battle.

Id winners:

demon!Dean (205 votes)

demon powers!Sam (175 votes)

blood addict!Sam (165 votes)

Again, no surprise: fandom girlies (gn) love their bad boys, lol. Soulless snuck in at #4 here with 163, presumably because working out still wearing a belt was juuuust dorky enough to kick him off the podium; #5 was Smith & Wesson at 162, probably because if they'd been left in that AU for ten more minutes they would have been fucking over the top of Dean Smith's desk. Glad we're all on the same page, there.

The nopes here were an interesting mix. In the full-on No Thank You category we had Michael!Dean and Gadreel!Sam (with 52 and 53 votes respectively) -- it would be interesting to know if that was due to dread of the storyline specifically, or just how No Bad Wrong it felt to have it happening. These two also led the 'meh' category, although they were joined on the podium of bad by Endverse!Dean (128 Meh votes), which frankly shocked me. Y'all aren't into his thigh holster? C'mon now. Sure, he murders his friends without compunction, but -- thigh holster!

Story Tropes

These ones were fascinatingly all over the place, which is exactly why I wanted to do this. Going to just run down the S/E/I podiums real quick, then 'Hard sell', then No --

Superego winners:

Outsider!POV (211)

Someone Finds Out (191)

Mental health issues (190)

Ego winners:

Mutual pining (252)

First time (242) AND Sick/injured (242)

First time in a long time (235)

Id winners:

Jealousy/possessiveness (224)

First time (218)

First time in a long time (180)

Now, part of what's interesting about these is how they fall off in other categories. Outsider POV wins handily at Superego with 211, but then drops all the way down to 92 votes at Id -- which isn't nothing, but clearly it's preferred to have a heckin' think about how other people view the incest relationship, rather than thinking it's just So Hot that people might. Similarly, while people do think it's so so hot for one brother or the other (or both!) to be possessive at 224 votes, when it comes to the superego that drops right down to 134 votes, presumably as the brain wakes up and goes RED FLAG!

Entering the land of no thank you, we shall have two anti-podiums:

Real hard sell:

Infidelity (127)

magic/powers!Dean (125)

Unrequited/no relationship upgrade (110) AND "Carver Edlund" fandom

This is a much more mixed bag. Infidelity and Unrequited are no surprise here, because it Feels Bad, Man; magic!Dean also not really a surprise, given that most of our respondents prefer being closer to canon, and Dean is very much our mundane buddy in the show as presented. (A delightful buddy, but a distinctly nonmagical one.) Carver Edlund fandom makes me laugh mostly because it's such a bananas thing to exist in the show. Sam and Dean reading big bang fics about each other? Collectively we just... don't know what to do with that. Weird.

Squick/No/Maybe one exception:

Permanent character death (140)

Infidelity (108)

Eating disorders (102)

Again, no surprise in the anti-winners of 1 or 2 here, but number 3 surprised me, personally. ED fic used to be a pretty big wedge of common tropes that people would seek out. Perhaps it's gotten less popular over the years? Or perhaps just that the people who like it REALLY like it and so chat about it out loud, while those who don't quietly bury it in sand, lo as a cat does with their leavings.

Most extreme delta in 'general interest' (whether that be S,E, or I) to 'ehh' (whether that be Hard Sell or Squick) is first time. Y'all loooove your first time.

Sexy Tropes, Vol. 1

This is where I really wanted to know if people could pull apart their interests between brain and heart and guts. Hopefully people were honest, as requested. Some of them we know are slight liar answers, because the hits on AO3 tell a story that can't be refuted -- nevertheless, here's what people were willing to admit to.

Bulletproof kink/will read any version:

Bedsharing (158)

Incest kink (139)

Size kink (133)

your friendly neighborhood survey creator is jumping up and down going 'wooo' that size kink made the podium. also I hope everyone understood that incest kink meant, like, indulging in the incest of it all via 'oh you're so totes my brother and i want to suck your dingle for that reason specifically', but I realize that could've been clearer.

Easy sell/you don't have to work hard for me to enjoy:

shameless bottom!Dean stuff (151)

switching (147)

voyeurism (138)

the first one here genuinely surprises me considering what I see getting written most often; is this a case of just not being in the right venn diagrams, or the 'easy sell' just not matching up with what people are being sold? Curiouser and curiouser.

Medium sell/not my fave, but I can see how it appeals:

bad/awkward sex (120)

phone sex (114)

in [drug/alcohol] veritas (110)

edging into awkward town in a few ways here: we don't love these, but we can see how it'd be fun. or not fun, in the case of bad sex.

Hard sell/this is unbelievable or uninteresting so you have to work hard to get me to enjoy it:

always-another-gender!AU (84)

multiple Sams or Deans (73)

genderswap (magic) (72)

so, in general, we prefer to keep the penises around and intact, but just one Sam penis and one Dean penis, please. Here, I'm interested that the volume is much lower than in the top category: maxing out at 84 hard sells compared to 158 bulletproof options means that we're willing to give more of these tropes a chance, even if they're not our faves. How accepting we are!

Squick/no/maybe one exception:

always-another-gender!AU (83)

A/B/O elements (65)

multiple Sams or Deans (51)

strong overlap with the hard sell; and, keeping in mind that people were able to choose multiple options, it's possible that some of those were identical votes. Again, please keep the penises straightforward and only two at a time. A/B/O is interesting here, especially given what we know of how well it does on AO3; while it's a big squick for a lot of people, it also has decently high votes in bulletproof/easy, averaging 82 votes. Mixed bag!

Sexy Tropes Vol. 2, Electric Boogaloo

Bulletproof kink/will read any version:

Possessive/claiming sex (129)

Marking (hickeys/bruising) (116)

Hair pulling (103)

Let's glance back up at the Id winners in the story tropes above, hmm quietly to ourselves, and move on.

Easy sell/you don't have to work hard for me to enjoy:

Marking (hickeys/bruising) (135)

Hair pulling (130)

Possessive/claiming sex (121)

Well, that's boring. So let's expand so as not to be repetitive:

4. Dub-con (116) 5. Dom/sub (113) AND Underage (113) 6. Knifeplay (107)

There we go. Pretty easy to put all of those into one fic, too.

Medium sell/not my fave, but I can see how it appeals:

Blindfolds (128)

Painplay (116)

Shibari/rope play (112)

We're starting to lose interest as accessories come into play. Interesting to compare D/s and its relative success against painplay -- so, tell him what to do, but don't hit him while you're doing it. Fair enough.

Hard sell/this is unbelievable or uninteresting so you have to work hard to get me to enjoy it:

Fucking machines (94)

Vore (80)

Mommy!kink (77)

Entertaining mix here, haha. General feasibility may be rearing its head here. (Also, for my own entertainment: daddy!kink got 67 Hard Sell votes. People generally prefer to keep it as horizontal incest, not vertical incest.)

Squick/no/maybe one exception:

Feederism (164)

Vore (161)

Extreme underage (157)

No surprises here, although some fans of the nibbly variety of wincest may be disappointed by vore's poor placement. Note also that 'extreme' is in the eye of the beholder; we'll leave aside value judgments, as we have for the whole survey, and note that people are not indulging in a version of underage they find to be personally past the line, or at least are not admitting to that.

At a glance, the closest matchup between bulletproof for some and a squick to others is bloodplay, with just 1 vote separating the two categories: 44 bulletproof, 43 squick. Next time someone tries to tell you that 'everyone' likes or doesn't like something, please take it with an entire shaker full of salt.

Dynamic & Position Preferences

I tried to encourage people not to think too hard about this one and just answer on instinct. Who knows if that worked. But here are some overview takes:

Toppy/dominant: Sam takes the lead here, with 69% of respondents being in the 'Love it!' category. Nice. (217 votes)

Dom Dean earned a respectable 52% of 'Love it!' votes (163).

However, I was also interested to check out the inverse --

subby!Sam: 44 'Very no thank' votes (13%) subby!Dean: 27 'Very no thank' votes (8%)

It's interesting to leap way back up and compare that against 'shameless bottom!Dean stuff' doing so well in the rated E categories. Makes you ponder.

Actual sex position: Frequently switching takes the win here, with 61% of the vote (194 votes). Sam always topping edges out if people must choose, with 144 votes; Dean always topping is our lowest choice, with 112.

Service!topping: this is a fairly niche fic type, but it does still exist -- I guess in a world of bottoms someone's got to actually get up and do something, and it is hilariously an almost perfectly even split:

service!top Sam: 50.17% (151 votes) service!top Dean: 51.50% (155 votes)

A healthy percentage of people said they didn't care about these questions either way, and more power to them. However, they were wildly outvoted by those who did.

Multishipping Time

Our final categories are when other people get their grubby hands on Sam or Dean, either canonically(ish) or in our fandom activities.

Canonical relationships for Sam

Jess wins, quelle surprise. :) 161 people Dug It and who can blame them.

Amelia LOSES, shocking no one: 112 people said Fuck That.

Eileen was definitely a mixed bag; her results, in order, were: Meh: 92; Fuck that: 76; Worse than meh: 66; Dug it: 44.

Canonical(ish) relationships for Dean

Note here: it was too unbalanced if we only went with people Dean officially dated. However, the show leaned hard into a few unrequited male relationships for him, which we included here, and no one sent me hate about it so I guess that was fine.

Benny wins the Love It! category with 129 votes, barely edging out Cassie at 122. Benny is best boy, so that fits.

Cas loses with a full 99 Fuck That votes, which is probably what we'd expect from a wincest survey. That said, he also got 93 Dug It votes, so it's a pretty balanced showing.

Poor Lisa sits firmly at Meh with 148 votes. It's not that we hate you, Lisa; we just don't really know what to do with you. Which is pretty much how the relationship went in the show.

Shipping Sam like FedEx

We returned to the S/E/I model for shipping as we did for tropes, because it means something very different to go 'oh sure, I can see how that would be interesting' vs saying 'I want them to fuck rawnasty and I don't care why they're doing it.' Apologies if I left out your favorite side-ship but, shit, there's only so much time in the day.

So, we return to the podiums:

Superego:

Ruby (132)

Rowena (121)

Cas (102)

Ego:

Rowena (121)

Cas (106)

Ruby (90)

Id:

Ruby (125)

John (121)

Rowena (118)

So that was going on sedately until Dad came in like a hammer. Fascinating. On the other hand:

No:

Lisa (234)

Donna (222)

Claire (219)

Interesting to me that these three are ladies that Sam theoretically could have got up in but people are not into it, regardless. This is slightly different to Dean's 'no' category -- spoilers for three inches of screen space!

Dean, Shipped by UPS

Superego:

John (129)

Benny (115)

Lisa (99)

Ego:

Benny (134)

John (116)

Lisa (102)

Id:

John (147)

Benny (128)

Crowley (114)

Well. That tells a slightly different story, ahem. Enjoy the various tropes that will be applied, Dean! And then we get:

No:

Amelia (245)

Kevin (223)

Gabriel (217)

Comparing to the Sam 'no' above -- these three are slightly more 'traditional' Sam ships, though the wincest shippers are nevertheless not into them for Sam, either. Dean literally never spoke to or saw Amelia on screen, so it'd be a determined shipper who'd make that happen. Not undoable, though!

Conclusion

Syke: there isn't one to be made. This really shows how diverse the taste is in the wincest community, or at least in the wincest community that a) happened to see this survey over the last five days and b) bothered to take it. This particular group leans slightly toward e.g. toppy Sam, or slightly toward switching, but when you look at raw numbers what you see is that at least one person LOVES every single one of these things, and at least one person fucking HATES every single one of these things, and so -- so what? Write what you want. If you see a niche of something that you love where you feel like not enough people are writing or reading, try to fill it. If you're worried "no one" will like it, well -- you're wrong. Someone will. It just needs to get seen by the right people.

That's where fandom comes in, to spread the love even if something isn't bulletproof for us -- reblogging a post to say, 'hey, my mutual made this thing, look at it!' What a joy it'd be if someone saw it and loved it to absolute shattering bits, and then found their little bulletproof community, and happiness was made. What's the point, if we're not making each other happy.

Thanks for participating if you did, and reading all this if you did. Here's a link to a google sheet (read only) with all the tables of raw data if you're interested. I'll post some of the more entertaining fill-in answers later.

s&d shipping survey results: November 1, 2023 - Google Sheets

[bettsfic]

i can't stay quiet about this anymore. for weeks now i've thought, noo i won't write about knights of the zodiac on my blog. nobody cares. BUT it is the weirdest fucking movie i've ever seen and i need to tell you about it.

knights of the zodiac is an american made live action adaptation of the anime/manga saint seiya. before this film, i'd never even heard of it, but that doesn't matter, because i watched an interview with mackenyu (who plays seiya) who said that the director told him not to bother watching the anime or reading the manga, because he wanted this movie to be its own thing. you know, which is always a great way to bring in your core audience.

with that said, i'm viewing this film entirely on its own merit, with no context of the source material. so saint seiya fans may not want to read this.

the movie came out this past may. i was excited about it for no other reason than mackenyu starring in an american action movie. i'm honestly a little surprised people weren't more jazzed about that. there aren't a lot of japanese actors starring in big budget american action movies.

other cast members include sean bean (who, spoiler alert, dies), famke janssen, and mark dacascos. in case you don't recognize those names, they are, respectively, boromir/ned stark, jean grey from x-men, and the iron chef. if nothing else, i think it's worth watching for the utterly bizarre casting.

the premise, sort of: mackenyu, who appears to be contractually obligated to play angsty younger brother characters (i think this is the 7th thing i've seen him in where he is an angsty younger brother), has an older sister who is missing. he's a poor orphan boy who gets by on winning cage fights. or something. so boromir finds him and tells him he's destined to be athena's bodyguard, and he gets on board with this alarmingly fast, but not after antagonizing athena (who is not yet athena) and throwing out some snarky one-liners. he trains in the middle of nowhere with a masked lady who repeatedly kicks his ass, and he never changes clothes the entire time. there's other stuff too but it's secondary to the absolute batshittery of this movie.

i saw it on premiere night, which was also the premiere night of the new guardians of the galaxy movie. again, A+ move by the promotional team. so there i was on a saturday at 7pm. prime movie going time. and my best friend and i were the only ones in the theater.

although i had no real expectations for this movie beyond Mackenyu Hits Things And Is Sad, i believed one of two things would happen: it would be as terrible as it sounded, or it would actually be phenomenal. but no, it was neither bad, nor good, but a secret third thing: it scratched a deep and rabid part of my id.

and by that i mean, it appeared to be a very high budget love letter to glaringly submissive men.

here's my letterboxd review that i wrote in the brief hypomanic episode succeeding my initial viewing:

okay so first and most importantly, this scene made me actually scream:

it's a joke line, sure, but 1) he definitely means it, and 2) he immediately calls her "princess," which if you've ever read my fic, you'll know that that's a one-hit KO for me.

(putting this under a cut because it's already long)

you see how athena is framed above seiya? that is one of approximately 1000 shots where this occurs. to every male character. at one point, mackenyu perches gingerly on the back of athena's motorcycle. in fact the only male character who attempts to be dominant aggressive and toxically masculine becomes the punching bag of the film.

in the beginning, seiya is in a cage match where people are getting angry at him for "dancing," which means he doesn't fight so much as avoids getting hit and looks pretty doing it. a solid third of the movie involves a very large lady beating the crap out of him. the premise of the film is getting him to devote his entire life to a goddess and obey protect her at all costs.

i'm probably the only one who watched this movie and was like, hmm is this kink coded? am i insane for seeing this? usually when i think of kink coding i think of quentin tarantino's foot fetish, these long gaudy shots of women's feet hanging out of car windows. it's in the imagery and shot composition and power dynamics.

here, the imagery is a lot of kneeling men, the shot compositions repeatedly place the men lower than the women, and the power dynamics are simply that the women have all the power, and the men have a little, as a treat. jean grey is a straight-up femdom, leather and all.

by the end of the climax, seiya is naked, having been stripped of his (magical and very powerful) armor as pre-athena becomes athena and uh, blasts his clothes off in the process. there's probably something to be said there about, you know, literally stripping him of his power.

i think what i find particularly remarkable about this is that the repeated feminization of the male lead is treated as a good thing. a self-actualizing thing. it's the process through which he accepts himself and his destiny. that's the reason i say it's a love letter--i've known a lot of submissive men and many of them really struggle to accept that part of themselves. i had a friend once who was so ashamed of himself--not just that he was submissive, but that submission was an integral part of his identity--that he had a breakdown in my car over it. so i think it's nice seeing a vaguely positive portrayal of finding oneself through (textually) devotion and (subtextually) submission.

god help me, seiya spends the entire film being irritating and bratty. this movie is my personal kryptonite.

don't get me wrong, it's a terrible movie. the writing is awful, the direction is awful, and if it gets a second film, i'll be shocked. it received a 1.9 (out of 5) on letterboxd and a 4.4 (out of 10) on imdb.

but i've also always been a lover of the star wars prequels (and oh boy there's a lot to be said there about submissive men) and so my patience for bad writing is infinite in the face of interesting things happening on a character level. in a world of disneyfied stock plots and bloated marvel franchises, i appreciate when a movie tries to do something different, even if it doesn't do it very well.

anyway, i can't in good conscience recommend it, but i for one plan to watch it at least a hundred more times.

[he-goes-down]

There Was A Time:

fic chapters,warnings, ext

SORRY IF THIS IS SO CONFUSING I APOLOGIZE

1. Move To The City:

Warnings:

Implied sexual acts

Drinking

Time travel (confusing)

Second person POV:

All the things that you just experienced had been forgotten in an instant. It felt like nothing had happened.

But everything happened.

You cursed under your breath, you're about to miss the band playing and you haven't even said good luck or more importantly get the roadies and other technical teams managed. 'Shit. what if they're not even ready?' You thought to yourself in a panic. You started rummaging through your satchel to find your phone for any missed calls and to check how late it is. Everything else was in your bag; notebook, passport, ID and documents. But no phone and a wallet with only one card and loads of cash. Instead of a phone there was a Walkman and your handwriting on it spelling out: 'Best Tunes'. "What the fuck" You whispered under your breath. Who still uses a Walkman? And why do I have one? Why the cringy ass title? You thought. Anything and everything was going through your head. You searched the windows of the shops on the street just for a glimpse of a clock or anything, but all of them were closed. One of the shops windows glowed, an electronic shop, every kind of tv was there and playing the same thing. Box TV's. No smart TV's. 1 or 2 flat screens. The news is on but it's grainy and the presenters aren't the same. The time.

'8:45' it read on the top left of one of the screens.

28th February 1985.

Headache. High pitch ring.

You nearly fell back onto the pavement.

Your head kept pounding.

Your face scrunched as you pierced your eyes shut.

Scenes of past memories came flooding back and replacing the ones you had, but they were both still in your mind, just supressed.

'Fuck, what was I doing?'

You searched your bag again, this time taking out a little notebook. You always had things to do written down in case you forgot something important. 'Find new band' it wrote and under it was suggestions on which bars to search. Luckily you could hear the thumbing bass of a band playing down the street in one of the bars. The Whisky a Go Go. As you walked closer you heard the song getting clearer and the higher frequencies the guitar was producing. The drums were hard driving, it nearly made you shake ass in the middle of the street. The guitar wind and you noticed there was another that kept the rhythm. The bass made something in you tingle. You finally got to the entrance of the bar, it was packed in the front of the stage and the booths but there were about only two people sitting on the bar stools, it was dark, the bright lights shone on the stage and only a dark dim light was provided at the bar for bartenders to be able to make drinks. You sat down by one of the stools closest to the exit, sitting your small suitcase in front of your stool under the bar top. The band was loud, and the crowd was going wild, the mics and speakers weren't good quality, but you could feel the raw energy from when their instruments were struck and when the lyrics spat out their mouths.

All the members had long hair; it was the 80's anyway. The singer was like a live wire, ginger hair and mouth that could burn anyone by how he screamed and made it sound like ecstasy in hell. The two guitarists, one with curly hair that bounced when he bopped his head as he strummed, sweat dripped down his chiselled brown abdomen as he arched his back to shred. All that was heard were screams from girls in the front, I mean you couldn't blame them, something in you wanted to throw yourself at him and let do anything. The other one had black hair and was the most modest looking; the rest had no shirts on or the very least a sleeve-less mesh shirt on. He wore a white long sleeve and a black waist coat, and he was gorgeous in sickly, pale, ill, vampire way. The last two members were blondes. The bass player tall and handsome as he plucked the strings of his bass, you had to stop yourself from meowing out loud, because good god. Although you couldn't see the drummer all that well, he was super cute as his fluffy blonde hair bounced around and his smile brightened the room. 

You tapped your feet to the beat of the song. It sounded familiar. You order a long island iced tea before you continued to watch them play. 'Why does it sound so familiar' You thought to yourself as the ginger front man sang "But you, you had to move to the city!" He sang, and you took a sip of your drink that the bartender just sat down on the bar top. It was cold and a small piece of ice touched one of your teeth. "Into the city where it all began!" It began to ache, and it travelled to your head.

That's fucking Guns 'n Roses. Time stood still for a moment, and you couldn't move from the shock that just went through your body.

"What the fuck." You mumbled to yourself, your mouth slightly a gape. 'This can't be happening' you thought. 'I'm in the 80's?' 'Guns 'N Roses is right in front of me.' It was like every dream was coming true in that moment. You starred at them not believing they were right there, and you were the only one in the crowd that knew the lyrics off by heart. The black-haired guitarist looked straight back at you and his eyes widen. He strutted closer to the bass play and nudged him, the blonde looked up, the guitarist nodded to where you were and his plucking faltered slightly, and then they went back to playing but with more focus than before. You were confused then remembered why you were there in the bar. You had a job to do, they probably knew you were coming to scout for bands to sign. You tried to focus and forget about all the weird things, there is nothing you can do. There are no time machines in the 80s, rather make the best out of this situation. Work now, panic later. They finished their song and walked off, the guitarist and bassist made it painfully obvious that they were searching for you in the crowd before walking off. You stood up to walk to back, but you asked to bartender to look after your bag in case it got stolen. You searched where the entrance to the back was, you saw where all the girls were going and followed.

It was a large dressing room, with a mirror that spanned across two of the walls. Graffiti scattered on the dirty yellow walls. Groupies already surrounded the band, and giving them all special kinds of favours, on chairs, couches and walls. You tried to keep your confidence to not look completely lost, but you really wanted to shrink down into a hole and die. To your rescue the shorter blonde haired one that had two girls on him as he was pressed against wall, noticed you. "Shit!" he breathed loudly and tried to push the girls off him. The rest of the band did the same and shooed them out the dressing room door, some members didn't even have women on them but had to put away their bottles upon bottles of alcohol. 'How do they drink that much, they just got off the stage.' You thought. You crossed your arms as you leaned against the wall, the five of them stood in a line across the room. 'Did they rehearse this?'. It was silent. One of them started to swing his arms slightly, like a 5-year-old that was bored. "Is this like the final boss groupie or...?" The curly haired on said but got elbowed in the stomach before her could continue. You couldn't help but giggle a bit. "You guys have a lot of potential." You knew they were going to one of the best bands in history, but you weren't going to spoil the surprise. "I'm here to sign a deal with you. Well, if that's what you want-." "YES" The short blonde interrupted, he then cleared his throat, "Please."

You sat with them at one of the booths for about 2 hours, having light drinks and discussing management, recordings and contracts. It was like there was two versions of you, the past and future, the past version was currently in charge as you were talking business and the other lied dormant. "You've been telling us all these things about your job, but you haven't told us your name beautiful." The ginger flirted. You already knew all their names and government names before they even told you, but that doesn't really matter. "Y/n." you told them. "Are you going to be the one managing us?" The black haired one said coldly, Izzy, with his one arm folded and the other holding his cigarette. He sat on the opposite side of the booth. "If all goes well, yes." You said, but you could feel he might have wanted a different answer. "All goes well as in, if Axl doesn't fuck shit up before the time." The taller blonde laughed, Duff, as he nudged the ginger, Axl, who sat next to you. He elbowed him back in the ribs harshly, whispering curses at him. "You're gonna see this and a lot worse." Slash, the curly haired one, said in a chuckle. He gently put his hand on your shoulder as he got up, "I'm gonna get another drink, want one?" He looked down at you, giving a small smile while raising an eyebrow. Though you couldn't see it as his hair covered his eyes. "Nah, I think I need to head off." You said, as you got up as well. "Um, I need a number to call you guys with." "Are you asking for my number?" Axl yelled as he slammed his hands down on the table as he got up. "What are you yappin’ about?" You laughed

Izzy wrote down the house number on a piece of paper as Duff and Steven excitedly asked about tours, interviews and photoshoots. You tucked the paper into your pocket, got your bag from the bar, said your goodbyes and left. It was a cold night; the streets were empty and silent, and there was an even chillier breeze. You just wanted to go to a hotel and roll in the bed, as you just met your favourite band. 'Shit the hotel'. You booked a hotel to stay at for your band's venue back in future. "Shit" you muttered, as you searched your bag for a sign that you at least have a place to stay for the night. Nothing.

"Fuck". You slumped down and next to a wall of a building. Every emotion rushed through you; panic, confusion, hatred, depression. Your other half wasn't speaking to you, it was like there was a limit on how much you could each version of yourself. You started to tear up as you started to overthink; Does this past version of you have friends? A partner? A place of your own? You couldn't remember anything except for the night you just had. You laid your head on your knees and closed your eyes just trying to compose yourself. Streams of tears just rolled, and you couldn't do anything, your brain was all muddled up and mush. You felt yourself spiralling, it was out of your control now. It was cold and it started to rain, just what you needed. You wanted to call up one of the guys and ask for some salvation, but you didn't even know where the nearest pay phone is. All the roads were just twists and turns in a maze that kept changing.

"Y/N?"

———

If you hated this you can like, push me down stairs or sumthing

[suffarustuffaru]

If you don't mind me asking but when did you first get into re:zero

yeah i dont mind at all :o ig yallre gonna hear my full origin story now haah. its my—my… ok id say tragic backstory but i dont think this is really that tragic LMAO. my humorous backstory? silly backstory?

anyway i got into rezero in summer of 2020!! this was months before s2 started airing and by around this time there was just s1, s1 directors cut may or may not have been out?? i forgor :<, but then s2’s first teaser came out right about now.

it was quarantine…. i was bored one day and wanted smth new to watch… and by then id only really briefly seen rezero—like you know that s1 promo poster with subaru standing there while surrounded by some of the main girls in s1 (beatrice felt emilia rem ram)?? yeah id seen that. in the back of my mind i kinda assumed the show was just another one of those abt a dude surrounded by his harem of girls or smth?? :< but then i learned the Real Premise is the time travel. via death!!!! and ive always loveddd angst and whump so i was like “NO FUCKING WAY I HIT THE JACKPOT” and eagerly looked into rezero some more to see if it was worth watching. and then i saw all the shit reviews on rz that never seemed to agree on if it was good or not…… and then gigguk’s video…… and then i saw mother’s basement on youtube make a defense of rezero s1 and i was like!!! ok fuck it im watching this show. i want the angst i want the complex time travel shit. i think id spoiled myself on a couple of subarus deaths by this point trying to decide if i should commit to rezero and then i started binge watching s1!! esp when i was like ok this is a good time to get into it s2 was announced right??

anyway i got hooked on rezero fr 👍👍 the first s1 emisuba lap pillow had me quaking in my boots ;-;;; and i was already invested from ep1 bc i liked the characters a lot already!!! i am simply BUILT DIFFERENT i loved subaru from day one!!! by the royal selection episodes ofc i was dying of secondhand embarrassment but tbh i grew even more invested in rezero after that!! i was and still am super impressed that the narrative had the balls to have subaru fuck up sooo so so bad there. like seeing that emisuba argument and the julisuba duel for the first time was crazyyy. the conflict was really good and the latter s1 development…. woagh.

and then you know i finish s1 and i immediately get to researching how to read, i read arc 4’s wn and bawl my eyes out from the sheer amount of rollercoaster both the emotions and Long Ass Novel gave me (yes i was bawling my eyes out at parent and child) (yes i was bawling my eyes out at choose me) (yes i was bawling my eyes out for all the suffering loops) (yes i was bawling) (i have no clue how i read all those pages fr like that arc is massive), i speedrun arc 5, i accidentally spoil certain bits for myself (arc 6 stuff), i read most of arc 6 in spurts, tune in every week for s2 (and bawled my eyes out seeing the s2 part 1 op for the first time) etc etc!! one thing lead to another and now i am here…….. three yrs in this fandom… nearly (?) a yr being active on rezero tumblr… HAH

also i made a reddit account back inn…. 2020 or 2021 bc i wanted to be a tinyyy bit active in rezero reddit (this was half a mistake btw. i think i have more balls of steel now but my younger self was sooooo naive. shaking them by the shoulders. this is an anime fandom!!!!!! and this is reddit!!! whatre u expecting???? i am less shy now on the internet thats for sure!!). anyway im still a tiny bit active on rz reddit now after not touching it for like a year. now i use my reddit account for spreading otto propaganda and slander /lh …../hj

but anyway ive never been active in fandoms until rezero and thats bc id usually lurk and a lot of my past hyperfixation medias were :< big fandoms :<<< but then. ok im a fanfic enjoyer and i didnt write much fanfic or publish fic at all before this fandom but then in 2020 after watching s1 i checked rezero’s ao3 page and *sniffles* *sobs* thERE WAS ONLY LIKE 2 PAGES ON THERE MAN….. A WHOLE DESERT…. yes and then one thing lead to another and now there is more fic and also ig id be considered an english fic writer elder maybe…… i started posting in like fall/winter 2020? and maaaan im one of the only ppl from that era whos still posting i think!!! ive seen the entire english fanfic scene pop up!! ive participated in a bunch of community events… sooo wild to think about. i feel old guys!!!

but now i have gotten more and more active in the rz fandom yes :3 its been fun!! rezero is very important media to me and ive met lots of cool people in my time here :) when october 2024 rolls around itll be s3 time (AAAAA HYPE HYPE HYPE) and like four yrs of me being in this fandom?? its wild but my lifes genuinely changed a lot bc of me getting into rezero!! met lots of cool people… made pals… gotten my writing and art out there and improved on it via. large amounts of rezero fanart HAH.. became more unhinged.. etc etc :D even got to meet one of my buddies i met via rezero irl 👍👍 more irl crossover events will happen i swear.

also gigguk in my eyes redeemed himself for his old rezero skit vid by making a glowing review for rezero s2 with his pals. i can forgive him i suppose :<<<

in conclusion: idk if i count as a fandom elder but i sure have a lot of my own fandom lore pfft :<<<

[thixms]

okay the way this all has come full circle. after almost exactly 7 years i finally finished airplanes. some ppl might remember my posts screaming about it (they sometimes still get likes i think lmao) so yea no i was like that deep into it and was like with that shit almost from day 1. crazy to see on tiktok that ppl are still talking about it and some ppl are only now getting into teen wolf/thiam and reading that fic. like everyone in the thiam fandom knows this fic is THE thiam fic. like i knew and know the fic is good but crazy to see that the fic i loved sm is still getting its recognition. i feel kinda like i'm "entitled" to say i was from day 1 !!! i knew it was gonna be good even there when not that many were around !! lmaoo. i only "abandoed" it cuz my lack of attention as a teenager threw me from hyperfixation and fandom to another. plus i got to experience actual life stuff and kinda abandoned my roots.. IT DOESNT MEAN THE FIC WASNT GOOD ENOUGH OKAY

but OKAY what i wanted to say is how fucking goood this fic is. yk it has to be good if i literally went back after "abandoning" it for 7 years and finish reading it. literally no fic in any fandom has managed to do that for me. and i still enjoyed it so so much! that's how you know the fic is good. i reread it and still laughed so fucking much like tf how is it possible for a fic to be so entertaining and good? it makes fucking sense why. it's timeless, it's a masterpiece. istg, i'd almost say it's canon now or like at least some of its thiam headcannons def are canon to me. like i'm not sure id airplanes came out w the idea that theo likes biology or it was actually mentioned in teen wolf?? that's how good the characterization of thiam was like i really am getting canon and airplanes canon mixed up lmao. @thiamfresh i think you might know by now what kind of a cultural reset you created for the thiam fandom but i just wanted you to read and know it again for sure. i don't even know if u still use tumblr.. but i think i saw some time ago you posting about seeing some hate being written about airplanes and you feeling insecure about it. and i just wanted to say you really shouldn't pay attention to it!! i hope this long ass rant post will show you how good and loved this fic is. it's still getting mentioned so so often in the fandom. like it's some find of bible or like manual to thiam as the ship lmaoo. so yea, me loving this fic as a somewhat developed adult and someone a bit more removed from the fandom defenitely a testemant to how good it is.

okay now i gotta rant about my life tho..

because jesus, i also only realized now that it was one of the first few fics i read on ao3 (i was a wattpad reader before, don't shame me pls, we all had to come from somewhere). but yea no, crazy that thiam was literally the start of me being solely reading fics (& fics of other fandoms) on ao3, as well as LITERALLY CREATING THIS TUMBLR BLOG??? HELLO?? IT'S LITERALLY CALLED THIXMS LMAO. it's crazy that it's been 7 years like wdym 7??? that's fucking long ago. i'm not even that old??? (i'm feeling really old rn) like how is my thiam phase already 7 years ago (and literally why did it come back after literal 7 years lmao). i mean, my teen wolf stan (as well as my thiam stan) kinda already came out last year with the release of that trashy ahh movie we're not gonna talk about. but yea no there i failed to commit and finish the fic and didn't get deep into the fandom enough. life happened tbh. but yea no 2023 and 2024 (especially 2024) crazy ass years. the way i experienced so much (good) real life shit, literally lived out my (childhood/teenage) dreams but also fell back into my weird niche interests??? like how tf did i have time for that??? (my sleep schedules hella fucked. it's fucked from every direction by the amount of unresolved jetlags i have).

what i'm trying to say is: 14yo me reading airplanes would never believe what 21 yo me will experience and be able to do but also won't believe i'm still reading the same fic (no i would, i really thought i was soo deep into this thiam shit that i'd still be obsessed even when i'm an adult and i wasn't wrong lmao). makes sense why i feel like time hasn't moved on and i'm still a teenager. i'm literally doing the same thing as 14yo me. laying in bed ranting on tumblr about thiam.. jeeez, it should be embarrassing ngl.

[seriousbrat]

hi this may be long so sorry in advance but

i always loved hp and when i got into the marauders i started caring about sirius, remus, and james more (peter hater till i die unfortunately i can’t get behind him) and like every marauders stan i despised despised severus, i thought that since he was in a known death eaters friend group and called muggle borns mudblood he was unredeemable. but then i saw more and more pro snape content and it made me feel bad for him, james bullied him (which i’m still not even sure if it was classified as bullying because james didnt have any power over him and it wasn’t even 1 vs 4 it was 1 vs 2 so i’d like to know your opinion on that as well) and he had an abusive parent, but then i saw snily shippers (i am a major jily shipper fyi) saying how james basically manipulated lily into marrying him by not telling her he still bullied snape, how the prank was the best thing to happen to james because their “fights” wouldn’t be seen as bullying but as a teen rivalry, how james was the rich boy who got everything he wanted and he got the poor girl as well, how it was him constantly asking lily out and her always saying no etcc, so ik this may sound stupid but i love ur takes like ur always sooooo fucking real so if u want to share your opinions on these like if u think any of these things are wrong 🙈 id be glad bc i dont know how to feel about severus and idk how to feel about jily either which is just making my small world inside of my head crumble bc i used to love them so much

Of course and thank you! First of all as I've been saying I don't think it's necessary or even really a good idea for us to base our preferences or interests in fiction with our moral beliefs. so we can accept that snape or james did bad things and still like them. Fiction gives us that freedom to delve into aspects of humanity that in real life we might try to avoid. So I don't think you should feel bad for liking james or severus or jily or whatever. Ok, that being said let's get into it:

First it's normal to feel sympathy for Severus, he's a sympathetic character in many respects! That's what makes a good anti-hero (or even villain. we're even supposed to feel sympathy for voldemort and barty crouch jr at certain points)

what james and the marauders did was definitely bullying. there's no way around that. you say james didn't have any power over him but he did; social power. You touched on economic class, which is a big factor, but James was a popular student and Sev was deeply unpopular. whether it was 1v4 or 1v2 or 1v1 doesn't really matter in terms of whether it was bullying, though tbh it was really 1vthe whole school because the spectators also participated in Sev's humiliation.

However, in my mind there's almost no way that Snape wasn't instigating just as much, possibly more, in seventh year. Like you think he was just going to sit around and accept that his worst enemy was dating Lily? lol. I tend to believe Sirius when he says that Sev "never lost an opportunity to curse James" like good for him get his ass. But I think it was definitely a different dynamic in 7th year than in 5th. there's this tendency to portray Sev as being a meek little helpless victim his whole life but personally I feel that's a disservice to his character-- this is the guy who invented sectumsempra 'for enemies' like three guesses who 'enemies' was.

re: jily, I really doubt that James manipulated Lily into anything, I think that's such an overdramatic reading lol. We don't know much about the way they got together-- although many fic writers have taken it upon themselves to fill in the gaps-- but everything points to them having been happy and in love, that clearly was the intention by the author. If James didn't tell her about duelling Snape that isn't great, but there are a lot of things that can be imperfect in a relationship without jumping to manipulation and abuse which require a specific pattern of behaviour that we have no evidence for. We also only have the external perspective of Sirius and Remus, which is likely incomplete.

(also James 'always asking Lily out' is fanon, we see him ask her out ONCE albeit spectacularly badly. it seems more likely to me that lily 'you make me SICK' evans simply saw james grow into someone she rly liked rather than gave in and gave in so fully that she married him bcause he was pressuring her. idk she didn't read like a pushover to me.)

So no need for world crumblage! It doesn't sound stupid at all, but I think it's important to keep in mind that we can enjoy fictional characters/relationships that aren't perfect, in fact those are the ones that I find more enjoyable. It's totally possible to be a fan of snape and james and jily and snily all at the same time, fandom tends to create conflicts or 'shipping wars' or whatever lol but idk if that's necessary. I don't see it as a moral debate or an either/or, I just find all the characters and the dynamics between them interesting.

For instance, you mentioned the class differences between Lily and James, and I always thought that was probably a point of contention in the relationship; but to me it's one that makes it more compelling to explore. Relationships irl are rarely perfect and evenly-matched from the start, they take work. Similarly people are never perfect- they learn and change and grow. James did, Snape definitely did. otherwise they would be boring and unrealistic as characters.

[commanderquinn]

meta: sam coe - post-campaign analysis

allllrighty i am officially post-campaign so time for first thoughts. since im still collecting my feelings/opinions on the main quest i dont want to go super into that. i wanna wait and consolidate into a deep dive on that one. BUT i am a fic writer with a fixation on socioeconomics, intergenerational trauma, and more specifically the phenomenon of atheists clinging to their religious parents morals because they haven't taken the time to evaluate their biases and the reasons they still hold them

translation: the silver spoon space cowboy is an interesting concept. poory executed in the case of starfield, sadly, but great framework for fandom to chop the head off of and bring to their own individual comfort interpretations.

this meta will include spoilers for the following:

-sam's questline and the npcs involved

-his romance

-cora, the safety storyline around her, and how she's the best part of the space game

-why bethesda was fucking stupid to turn the cowboys into cops when they have the perfect opportunity for not that. i went in hoping for retired/reformed army rangers fed up with war looking to defend their home from fascism given the "han solo simulator" marketing, but all i got was this lousy ass rendition of the texas rangers, which i for SURE did not want

-i WONT be going into detail about the main plot for this post, just fyi. i wanna save that, and sam's relation to it, for its own essay. id still recommend not reading meta's until you finish the game tho

-i miss obsidian's writing. this game made me want to play outer worlds for the 100th time. that will probably come up a lot

this is probably gonna sound more than a bit scattered and off the fucking plot for the first section, but bare with me, im making a point eventually i promise. gotta make sure we're all on the same page first.

now that ive done a majority of his content, it's clear what the intent was for sam and i applaud it. i like it when good hearts in bad systems spot the fundamental flaws and decide to abandon it entirely, or work to change it. i hate perfect characters. i hate characters that have no growth to find. sam is a great character for showing the awesome power of a perspective change. but damn. what a waste when you're talking about a format where a writer is constricted to:

-an exact conversation trigger (bethesda games have always relied on interrupt & player approach, and i didnt notice any variation on game engine front but i wont know until they release the ck so)

-word limit on all responses (yes, you can make long dialogues in engine. but those words still have to be f u n d e d from a dev standpoint. words are not free in video games. capitalism sucks for art.)

-multiple conversation branches that ALL have to circle back to the original topic (they have to follow a set pattern of establishing a subject, then the players possible responses to that subject, the npcs responses to those responses, AND provide a seamless, one dialogue tie-in path to the next branch. it sounds super easy until you're the shmuck writing it, and then it doesnt feel so easy anymore)

-get approximately two personal quests with, what was it, 12 motion scripted scenes? (im watching other peoples pts now so ill try to remember to count, but it was. hmm. lack luster imo. im not saying quantity is vital. im a bioware fanatic, i know the power of quality when its actually delivered. i didnt have any moment like that for sams quests and it was kind of crushing. ill get into it.)

-appeal to a wide enough audience to obtain profit by holding back eXtReMe ViEwS (id like to point out that there is, at this exact moment in time, an active pr campaign (and a few scattered gaming content creators) surrounding starfield talking about how pronouns are politics and should be left out of gaming. over a setting flag in a save file. you literally dont even have to press a button about it. like, you pick your characters body. masc bodys are auto assigned m pronouns. fem bodies are auto assigned f pronouns. you literally dont even have to SEE the button, and it never gets brought up. the only purpose it serves is so the game knows what voice lines to fire. that. is. it.)

im not going to humor the "thats dumb, bethesda makes political games" contribution to the argument.

i get straight people think they're being super helpful and witty on that one, but i think the world would collectively benefit from allies taking just a few extra seconds before standing on that soapbox to maybe consider that calling existence "politics" might be, gee idk, insulting. maybe more than a lil dehumanizing. maybe super easily solved by just NOT giving into their parents obsession with playing devils advocate. i think if maybe allies could shut the fuck up for a minute or two at a time and go look for voices of authority within the communities they're defending instead of trying to talk over them, that'd probably work out better. might help cut out the completely useless middle man their parents taught them to be when they drilled home "you have to respect everyone's opinion"

no the fuck you do not, actually. i, as someone on this earth attempting to be a compassionate person, owe people a chance at understanding. i do not, under any circumstance, owe someone any kind of respect WHATSOEVER if they cannot respect me as a human being. full stop. i dont owe it to them, i dont owe it to their religion, i dont owe it to the government they try to establish. i do not owe respect to people attempting to oppress me. i never have and i never will.

but remember. there is context to be found in the passing of time. yes, you need to tell grandma to stop being racist. no, you do not need to banish grandma to the nursing home if there's still a chance that she's willing to sit and listen. a chance that she'll empathize with social perspectives that the racist society she was raised in never allowed her to have. breathe and give grandma the chance. then send her to the home if she's still racist.

(yes that was an analogy for how i imagine a perspective conversation with jacob would go. i do not have high hopes of that man finding self awareness given. well. who he is as a person.)

now. if you've played through sam's content, you already know why im bringing all of that up, but lets put together a list of all the things that Make Sam Coe Who He Is before we wrap it all up in a pretty bow that hopefully reads a lot less scattered than this "yo society got some trauma actually" lead up ive dumped on you

quick interrupt just for me: i love that im back on tumblr where i dont really have to give all that much of a fuck about making sense. any audience i could find here is equally unhinged so mostly i just have to format it in a way that makes your brain not hurt. sorry if you dont have adhd <3

1: lets talk about cora's hair.

im going to make the race observation because its bothering me from a dev standpoint AND the gamer crowd is already starting to make cuck memes which sucks to see.

i get that this doesnt matter in a colonialism scifi future where a service like enhance exists and we're talking about two rangers that apparently went under cover regularly, but it matters in the context of how sam was handled in a 2020 era commercial, creative environment. im just going to MENTION that cora coe's biological mother (that jab was me not liking her as a person, not me giving a shit that she's white) is paler than pale, and sam does NOT look like some of his earlier promo images. bethesda as a company also has a very long history of making characters arguably tan to avoid this shit.

9/16 edit: was asked for source, heres the exact image im referencing, which is still his set image on the starfield wiki to date:

(im going to preemptively warn any white artists building the urge to argue over this: you DO NOT want to die on a hill about lighting for this one, fucking trust me. thats not what this conversation is, and if you dont understand that as a White Artist, you need to sit this one out until you understand the full weight of the conversation and the profound effect of media treating skin color like a rare diversity accessory. bethesda has a very very long history of this. their last major story title, fallout 4, (76 was a money grab made in the other studio and i barely want to call it a game) had a whopping total of two black characters in its main cast, and both of them acted in subservient roles so please. please please please just. stop trying to defend bethesda on this one. its dehumanizing, cowardly, and malicious in this day and age. i promise im not trying to bite anyones head off here, im just Old And Tired when it comes to suburbanites in fandom.)

i think having solomon be canonically black would have been a really important aspect. i think it would have given the opportunity to show white people why its fucked up that they get SO EXCITED to save war mementos (or in the case of starfield a nasa memento) and will go on and on about how vital it is to save that piece of history, but when you bring up memorializing the importance of race as it pertains to human history and cultural history/pride, they suddenly start getting Very Uncomfortable and throw out phrases like "what does it matter we're all human" while standing next to the gun their grandfather smuggled home from the war

there is no brightness slider on pc and i havent gone reshade tweaking so everything is still washed out on my end (dont worry, as an rtx user, imma be makin a rant post on that) b u t. cora coe has a pale as fuck mother and a vaguely tan father with blue eyes and straight hair, meanwhile my precious angel has a darker complexion and curls that look like they're closing in on the 3c range so like. im getting vibes that sammy boy mighta been whitewashed during game dev, and thats about as far into THAT topic as im gonna bother to venture for this post.

2: his dad

were we supposed to have more daddy issues content??? istg it feels like there was the initial map talk and then nothing. im not saying that i cant pull blood from a stone and give you an entire essay on that glimpse of family trauma just from a few lines of dialogue, but still. feels like thats maybe something that should have gotten more detail.

"no forgiveness between me and my old man. it's uh... coe tradition."

oh boy. oh boy oh boy oh boy. what a line to start his personal quest

before we go ANY FURTHER im gonna drop a reference to one of my favorite aaron sorkin scenes of all time. its from the movie he did about the chicago seven, and i think it fits VERY well when having a conversation about how sam is shaped by his father

unfortunately the exact scene i want to show isnt clipped anywhere easy i could find, so here's an article that talks about that scene specifically if you want more context but dont want to watch the whole movie. what we're really focused on is this:

which is a scene where a fictional account of bobby seale, the leader of the black panther party at the time of the chicago 7 trial, said that above quote to a fictional account of tom hayden while they were having a conversation about how the stakes of this trial are life and death for him as a black man, but little more than a family dispute and a dark spot on their records for the (all white) chicago 7.

its a GREAT continuation of sorkin’s fascination around father son conflicts (he covered it a time or two during his writing days as west wings original creator, which is a great political show id strongly rec) and it really really works when used in comparison to those rebellion days sam had that he still flagellates over

sam was a privileged kid without a foundation of emotional support or a safe environment to vent to. he didnt have the words needed to communicate what he was feeling and thinking and experiencing. he didnt have the means to express himself in a way that wasn't immediately criticized by the people in his life. it doesnt take a degree in psych to figure out that sam first ran for the stars to run from his father. and it sounds like that was tradition

from the MOMENT YOU MEET HIM, jacob is full stop "my way or the highway" until you hit him with the good ol bethesda persuasion and his disposition pulls a 180 to hand you the next plot device

sam: "you know why im here."

jacob: "oh? and what's that? you come to your senses? realize where you ought to be for once?"

w o w

i wonder why sam never felt safe in his own home. i wonder why he doesnt feel safe leaving cora there. i wonder why that miserable fucking attitude and guilt has sam convinced that jacob will be the worst possible thing for his curious daughter's self esteem.

yes, grandparents sip a different kind of koolaid when it comes to their grandkids. no, that is not enough to protect that child from that much intergenerational trauma. sam's made a bad choice keeping cora in space, but he's made an EXCELLENT choice keeping her away from jacob.

forget "showing respect" to his son's choices, jacob won't give them the time of day. he brushes off constellation and wont go meet them for himself, he insists that cora being "in her family home" is the only priority (isnt THAT telling) and, as if that wasnt enough to prove he's incapable of empathy, the fact that he outright, direct fucking quote during that first scene with him, says to sam's face

"the only mistake im seeing here is you"

fuck anyone who walked away from that scene of a parent saying that to their own kid and had the response of "i dont understand why sam wont let jacob take care of cora." fuck you, genuinely from the bottom of my heart, if that was your reaction.

i looked for opportunities to get sam to talk about what the rest of those "30 plus years of experience with the man" really looked like after that. the fact that it was used as a plot device without any (from what I COULD FIND in my first pt, if i find any ill edit this) kind of dialogue discussion about that trauma around his father's behavior/mentality and the terrible influence it had is such a waste. chances are!!!!!! id fucking agree with him!!!!!!!!!! SO TELL THEM TO ME BETHESDA!!!!!! give me the chance to storm back into that house with the full story and let that geriatric fuck know why he will not be allowed back into my daughters life (yeah we're gonna be calling cora our daughter on this one bc, again, she's the best thing in the game) until he can learn to be a safe emotional environment for her

and THEN, at the end of the romance, the wrinkly mf drops a "hey can you go over sam's head and make the parenting decisions now" 20 minutes before your vows get exchanged in his living room (WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT MESS OF A WEDDING LMAO ITS A LOT but im probably gonna save it for another sam post where i talk more in depth about why packing a complicated romance in that tightly just Dont Work). like wow. wowowowwow. if that doesnt perfectly sum up how he views the dusty's (shhh i really hope that name catches on pls i keep seeing ppl use captain instead its heartbreaking) role in the family now, and confirm how he's always viewed his own son, idk what does

3: lillian "i can abandon my kid and demand she be taken care of in the same breath" hart

i was originally going to go into hella detail on his relationship with his ex but honestly i think im just gonna leave a few paragraphs and not touch on her again bc its bad for my blood pressure.

okay, here's the deal. im biased in the sense that i had a mother with attachment issues and lets just say that his ex is worth about as much to me as a pile of dogshit. it'd be one thing if she had that moment of "oh. sam and cora bond really well and i dont fit" and decided to look at that and evaluate if she wanted to continue trying to be a parent.

but she didnt have a moment of reflection. she didnt talk to a therapist. she didnt have a discussion with sam. she went back to work and decided "oh well, my kid doesnt like me" and then left her daughter with an open wound and no shot at closure. which is just. wow. that's active abandonment. she WALKED OUT of cora's life because she couldn't stomach the idea that she didnt immediately win over her daughter without any effort to connect to her.

then she has the nerve to yell at sam for not doing the best for cora. like bitch, you cant even consistently answer the phone??? what are you on??? she's REPEATEDLY broken cora's heart with false promises, and clearly made no effort to truly atone for that given just HOW angry sam is ALL the times he brings it up.

and she does it all for what????? a beat cop reputation and some shiny medals????? like shut the fuck up with that righteous indignation piglet, you're killing smugglers under someone's made up authority to protect COMMERSE, not creating galactic peace. the idea that THAT SHIT is worth more to her than her own daughter having a mother who's around for all her life milestones is inFURIATING and id fucking deck her if i could.

the fact that there's zero chance to call her out other than one single "thats a pretty awful thing to say" option is a real cop out from bethesda. they realized they put a woman in a position where she could be really, truly yelled at for something like child care, and chickened out on following through with it so they wouldnt take any heat.

thats gross and should piss you the fuck off, by the way. that sure the fuck isnt what equality looks like by any measure. you don't empower women by acting like they're infallible creatures you cant call out for being flawed. and you sure as shit dont empower the next generation of women by forgiving their abusers.

4: cora's safety

which brings us to the big sticky: sam is a disaster and i DONT think that keeping cora on a combat-active spaceship is right. i think she'd be much better off living in constellation hq (aside from the main plot obvsly) with a constant open comm to her dad and the ability to bring her to outposts and secured sights.

the problem with the biomother's abandonment isnt the distance. its the lack of attempt to connect. its the lack of forming a bond. its the fact that she had zero desire to understand her child once she figured out her child didnt "love her the most" when thats literally not a thing. the problem was never the physical space, and it wouldnt have to be in sam's case, either.

he's a dad that's there for cora day in and day out, he just never got the chance to grow out of the panic stage of a parent worried the first fever is going to kill the baby. he didn't have his dad because he had to get out to protect himself, he doesnt have a mom because of how long she's been dead, and lillian checked the fuck out at an early stage apparently. so sam was left to be the nervous wreck trying to keep history from repeating itself. the man's flying blind in the face of all the combined generational trauma of himself, his father, and his ex, all while trying not to fuck up shaping a human life.

you're damn fucking right he keeps cora glued to his side, i legitimately do not think his own ptsd would allow him to do otherwise without someone like the dusty to come and and go "hey dude, maybe its time we read some emotional intelligence and trauma books so we can start getting cora into a stable environment for literally the first time in her life? also im going to teach her gun safety for my own sanity because you keep letting her walk all over you and its scaring the fuck out of me thinking my daughter is going to try to raid a pirate ship at 15 because no one taught you proper boundaries."

5: his morals

its been 30+ years and his father wont let go of arguing and micromanaging long enough to try to understand his son. lillian is a workaholic who believes her only inherit value is what she can provide to an organization that views living, breathing human beings as occasionally expendable while screaming about its pursuit of freedom and equality.

sam coe is a man who got told what he was supposed to be his entire life, tripped into drugs and crime in an angry, sheltered act of rebellion, and walked away from it all with a very skewed, very flawed interpretation of morality as a result.

lillian and his father are the clear moral compasses in his life. like yeah, sure, he'll talk about how cora is his driving force until he's blue in the face. and he's not lying!!! he's not even technically wrong. she is his active motivation day in and day out. but she is not his Morality. she hasn't developed enough as a person to be able to be that kind of beacon. she's a kid rushing herself through childhood because she thinks that will make her better and no one in her life recognizes it enough to stop it. she shouldnt have to be the moral guide for someone who's supposed to be guiding her

sam cant let go of the ranger envy. he couldnt stomach being around it, but he cant look at that discomfort long enough to identify why. he can walk into a bank and plain as day go "ah, don't you hate the smell of capitalism," but he can't bring himself to blink the stars out of his eyes long enough to ask why the rangers are so willing to put smugglers to death without trial. sam has enough awareness to identify the system is flawed, but he doesnt have the guts to really stare that down

he'll make cracks about walter having too much money and influence, but he wont actually mention how he and his wife are the root cause of an extraordinary amount of pain and suffering and perfectly avoidable manslaughter as a result of their business. i get that constellation runs as a dont as dont tell organization, but if sam's going to give me shit about nabbing a paper weight from a guy's desk, i think we should talk about how he doesnt display anger for walter's business practices.

sam coe, at his heart, is a dreamer who doesn't want to look too close at things. he was taught that some things just Are, and looking for too many answers will find you trouble. he's got the spirit of an explorer dampened by a lifetime spent under cops.

you can hear it in his voice whenever he talks about how proud he is of cora for being a goddamn prodigy. you can hear the wonder and the excitement there. you can hear the curious kid in him that probably got pushed out of the way while he was trying to shape himself into a Proper Coe

i think sam coe is a dreamer who was forcibly taught to fear learning as a child, and thats the real tragedy of him.

so let's start to tie our bow here.

sam is a man who, in a way that only a privillaged kid can, stumbled into neon's life of drugs and smuggling and self harm through destructive behavior with both eyes firmly shut.

he didn't fall into drugs after a lifetime of being submersed in the culture of it. he didnt take them because he grew up surrounded by people that just knew that's all life was ever going to hold. he didnt get into smuggling because he was starving. he didnt take on his first "criminal act" because there was a life and death battle going on somewhere in his life.

this man was drowning in guilt and shame centered around not "being a proper coe" by the time he was free of his father's control, by all accounts. you can hear how much self hatred he has over the memory of that time in his life. look, im not going to say that age and recovery doesnt come with regret, but he talks about it like degeneracy and something to be guilted about rather than just... living life. like so what you did some drugs?? so what you did a capitalism no no?????

corporations arent people. you shouldnt steal from them because itll put YOU at risk, but under no circumstance should anyone hold onto any guilt for stealing from them. money is fake and capitalism murders people every hour of the day. fuck the system, its fucking rigged, look out for you and yours while capitalism is stealing your natural resources and making private homesteading prosecutable (translation: in our actual, real life here, the government can throw you in jail for building a house without a permit. go look up at the sky and think about the moral journey humanity had to take to get us to that point, and then come talk to me about how i shouldnt encourage people to steal from corporations)

anyways back to the video game, as far as the "what if he was unknowingly smuggling something like organs or weapons" argument, there's no desire for me to defend it, tbh. i dont view crime as a personality brand the way cops do. someone being convicted of a crime doesnt make me see them as lesser, it makes me see them as a person who did a bad thing. i do bad shit all the time. we all do. we're human. sometimes there's an excuse for the behavior, and sometimes there isnt. that's not the end of the world. you own up to your actions, you apologize, and you put in the effort to make amends that fit the situation. end of story. the obvious exception to that being when someone you have victimized tells you to fuck off because they dont want your further involvement.

yes. yes there are people in the world that are genuine monsters that spend their time and energy looking for ways to do the cruelest shit imaginable to their fellow human beings. but those are fucking outliers, so no, im not going to let a conversation about morality be derailed by a fraction of a percent of the population

but people (like the rangers) who aren't ready to look at the whole picture of context, who would rather hyper focus on the unbending rule of the land, don't see that. they see a "type" of person once a crime has been committed rather than "a person who found themselves in this scenario"

sam was raised by cops. he fundamentally does not understand how biased his own view is. he'll sometimes make a vague mention of crime being a necessity, but you can hear how many strings are attached there just from the way he talks about it. he truly views crime as a black and white subject with exceptionally few slivers of grey to be found. you can hear the "law and order is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom" in his voice whenever he talks about how the rangers are "good people" he just "didnt fit anymore" and it's heartbreaking

he'd be so much better off if he would take a moment to reevaluate his priorities and look a lot closer at that guilt he carries and why he carries it. i think it would even help him better connect with cora in the long run. it would for sure give him a better handle on why letting his daughter take on college courses this early in her life isnt something to brag about. its a bad sign that she's pushing herself to Be Something in the exact same way he used to. he just doesn't recognize it because her way is "healthy" by society's fucked up view of child prodigies

tl;dr

i don't need to fix sam coe. he's stubborn, traumatized, and sheltered, not broken.

give that man good enough head and i'm absolutely sure he could be talked into reading some -clutches pearls- marxist literature

[tontita]

RED ROVER || SIMON RILEY X OC (READER)

hello! this is one of my first fics, im trying to promote it so more people read it. the first episode is already posted in my wattpad account @/giraisols ! id really appreciate if you checked it out.

link ! https://www.wattpad.com/story/361889325-%F0%9D%97%A5e%F0%9D%97%97-%F0%9D%97%A5ov%F0%9D%97%98r-%F0%9D%97%9A%F0%9D%97%9B%F0%9D%97%A2st

SLICE OF LIFE || ANGST || COMFORT || FLUFF || SMUT? || ENEMIES TO LOVERS || JEALOUSY || SLOW BURN || MLW || COLLEGE - UNIVERSITY AU

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀March, 2000. It wasn't easy starting university in the middle of the year, but Victoria Bathgate's hard work - including begging the dean in a trillion letters and studying her ass off — paid off well, allowing her to break a couple of rules. She's already fucking up what her anxiety made her think would be her whole future — or whatever would come after graduation. Victoria wore a mask of confidence only to hide the clumsiness hiding beneath, the same one that was now growing too big to hide anymore. She had her open injuries imminentfrom her heart being broken over and over again by any male that walked into her life. Moving from her dad to her friends to her boyfriends, she felt like she couldn't keep any precious gift that was given to her for too long.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Meanwhile, Simon Riley is in his second year of Criminal Justice. Being a relatively smart guy, the career he chose is one of the few things he ponders will make him the average person he thought he'd never become. Poltergeists from his past still haunt him up to these these days, having obvious outcomes on his behaviour. Side effects he often presented to others contained insomnia, headaches, trouble concentrating, addictions, agitation, numbness, dizziness, and occasionally, psychosis. The only thing keeping him sane was a pack or two of cigarettes per week, the nicotine working as an anchor for him to keep his mind in the real world. He knew damn well he was fucking up his lungs, but he couldn't care less about his future. He'll graduate and that's it. He'll settle down far away from his hometown, get a wife, and have kids if the universe lets him.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀It was clear his soul was still pained, haunted. He needs a solution as soon as possible. He can't find it, no matter where he looks or how hard he yearns for any sort of relief.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀But who'd expect he is about to live the most wonderful years of his life? The ones he'd cherish and long to live again for the rest of his life, when his trauma catches up to him?

.....

thank you sm for reading ! i might even post the 1st chapter here lololol

[sicklyworm]

Monster cans and reading bans!

Ao3/Anon Hackers <3333

Prologue :

Ao3 tiredly took a sip of his fourth monster of the day, his hands typing as fast as he could make them. He knew better than to procrastinate for so long, after all this project is 30% of his final grade, but the patrochilles fanfic he was reading was just too good for him to read it all in one go. Now a full 26 hrs later than that horrible decision and he still isn't done with the fic due to his favorite site being down and the project is due in 7 hrs. Now Ao3 would say he is pretty good at pulling shit out his ass when it comes to school but he really had underestimated this project. fuck. He should have known this class was going to bite him in the ass eventually. After all, getting a credit for just thinking critically would be far too easy. Ao3 bit his lip in an attempt to stay awake but his brain wasn't just wasn't cooperating. Sighing Ao3 closed his laptop and started to type in the number he swore to himself he would never call. That number he got from the very one and only Anon Hackers or as Ao3 likes to call them dickface.

Hackers was a pretty popular person on campus, but considering that they live in florida that might actually be the biggest red flag of all time. After all, everyone in Florida could possibly be replaced by SCPs in very bad disguises and the rest of the world would be none the wiser. Hackers themself was known for their… well lets just go with passionnet one sided arguments on things like religion. Which were really just Hackers angrily spouting whatever conservative talking points were popular at the moment at anyone who looked even slightly left leaning. While Ao3 himself had never actually been on the receiving side of Hackers ire, his friends have and that's enough to make Ao3 despise them with the fury of a thousand suns.

So when profesor Fanfiction.net assigned them as partners on such an important project and Hackers was forced to give Ao3 their number, Ao3 elected to just do it by himself so he would never have to use the damned thing. It's just one silly project after all, how bad could it be? Oh how much ao3 wanted to strangle his past self for not starting this project earlier because right now in a desperate attempt to at least completely fail he is going to do something he said he would never do… he is going to ask for Hacker to save his ass.

Hackers was fucked. Not by procrastinating school like Ao3 but because they have been lying about having a boyfriend to his parents for the last 3 months and now they want to meet him. Their parents are christian evangelical extremists and even Anon got uncomfortable at times about how they talk about queer and trans folk despite being christian themselves. Hackers never came out as nonbinary to their parents either so whenever they have to visit them it is a pain. They barely get away with using they/them pronouns at school and if one of his 'friends' were to learn his dead name they would never be referred to by their chosen name ever again.

Their habit of just saying whatever their parents did the day before whenever they felt uncomfortable has also driven away anyone who would still use their right name even after hearing the old one.

Hackers turned in their bed so they could scream into their pillow. This whole situation was impossible, no way to win, just ways to lose. "I did this to myself, I guess-" Anon was cut off by their phone going off, their jolly ringtone mocking their desperate situation. Peeling themself from their bed Hackers grabbed their phone, the number had no id but the area code was the same as theirs so they decided to answer.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

for you wip Wednesday posts, do you just post as you write? like are the parts all continuous or is there parts between that you don’t post? (sorry if this is dumb, I’m just curious how you do yours:))

okay so (get ready for a long winded explanation of how my writing works sorry in advance)

for wipw, i have sort of a basic outline for plot points and stuff. i know roughly how each of the stories go and how they end. that being said, i have two docs (or more) per au. one with the outline and the other is the draft i'm posting for you guys. like here's the actual docs in my bookmarks (ignore my joke titles okay)

(ID: a screenshot of my Firefox, with a folder of bookmarks showing.)

cutting here because sweet lord this got long

as you can see i've got all my wipw docs in a bookmark folder so i can find them easily. DIH, BB, OG, 🦊, and 🦊WIPW are all writing folders. DIH is a long fic for another fandom. BB stands for 'big bang' and is for all my 'cosmic lost and found' stuff. OG is my ocs stuff :). Fox is anything aftg-related that isn't for wipw. and finally wipw is... wipw.

ALSO 'strips and tags' is the doc where i keep my little 'headings' for wipw posts as well as the tags so i don't have to type that shit everytime! (ex: 'WIP Wednesday (10/25) | Guardian Angel Neil (Part --)'

anyway! i write on them and cut them into chunks for wipw. the size of the 'chunk' each ask gets depends on how well the story flows and if it's a good stopping point. so sometimes it's just a couple paragraphs and sometimes it's almost a full fucking page because i couldn't decide where to chop it?

also usually i like to work a bit ahead so i'm not starting with nothing the next week. so when i don't and i get a lot for a certain au it stresses me out bc i don't know where we're going and i have to come up with it on the fly so i can answer asks??

this is also why i write in order and i could never write bits and pieces here and there all over the timeline like Ash does. it would Stress Me Out sooo bad lol

to answer the actual question: yeah.

for the most part, it's mostly how the final draft will be. but in the final i'll probably flesh out certain bits to make it make sense. like we just Jump into the scene a lot in wipw posts and it makes sense for wipw posts. but it wouldn't in an actual longfic on ao3? you know?

also in angel neil, some of the events are out of order. i never expected people to care about it so much so originally it was gonna be a lotttt shorter so andrew talks to betsy about it right away. i think in the Finished Fic (whenever that will be) he won't mention neil to betsy for a while?? but idk for sure we still have a long ass way to go.

thanks for asking this i'm sorry if you didn't want to read my life story but i don't have anyone to talk about writing with really and also i'm insane and can't just say yes/no i have to EXPLAIN

[mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea]

🌿 💞🕯️💌

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Alive. Powerful (in some ways). Really good about myself because I'm utilizing my imagination and creativity and all of those things I learned and worked toward in my writing classes/degree. I feel really good about myself when I'm writing - like I'm fulfilling part of what I'm in this particular life for, which is storytelling.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

The characters are definitely the most important thing, I think. I like to get their voices right - their voice, mannerisms, their expressions, the specific tone and lilt of their voices. Everything else - the plot, the worldbuilding, the settings - those are secondary to the characters. The plot (or scenario, if it's not something huge that requires a full-out PLOT) drives the characters, but I mean, the plot can change from story to story, so it's really still mostly about the character. I'd be lying if I said the technical stuff wasn't a top important thing - I'm an English/writing major, and all those grammar and spelling and punctuation things are hella important to me. Those keep me honest and make me slow down and pay attention to how I'm writing. Figurative language fits in with that, too, though, because it's all the stuff I absorbed in trying to become a better writer, either by reading or by what my awesome professors passed along to me.

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

I just answered this one here!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

From Too weird to live, too rare to die, a prompt fic for @kleenexwoman that is a Justin Hammer/Loki (in canon, post-Endgame, everyone lives) bonkers fic:

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Still humping the American Dream

Tony closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose between the thumb and index finger of his left hand.  He took five deep breaths.  Counted to twenty.  Took five more.  Counted to ten.  He opened his eyes, the right one pale amber and couldn’t see nearly as well after his snap that ended the war with Thanos. 

Justin still stood in front of him, hands defiantly on his hips, watching him. 

“Anthony, I’m not here to just take up space and piss people off,” Justin said in that affable tone that still managed to dig underneath Tony’s skin and threaten to give him hives. 

“And yet you do that so well, Justin,” Tony snarked as he felt the threat behind his eyes indicating a headache was imminent.  He winced at the harshness of his tone, even with this pain in the ass he never expected to see again, much less share a living space with him. 

Still, they’d made peace with Loki when he returned with Thor and Bruce to help them handle Thanos, and as it turned out, the guy wasn’t so bad in the long run.  Tony liked his sass and sense of humor – always had – and he was pretty handy to have around. 

Perhaps he could make himself get used to Justin Hammer, too.  The guy wasn’t dumb, and since they’d released him early for good behavior and some other reason Tony had already forgotten for the moment, he’d dropped some of that pretentious peacocking that paralleled Tony’s own, which to be fair, he’d been happy to mostly give it up since it got tiresome after a while. 

“Who?  C’mon, Tony, I’m a big boy.  I can take it.  You can tell me who else I’m pissing off besides you,” Justin cajoled, his big grin stretching across the angles of his face.  He’d been trying, but Justin wasn’t stupid; he knew he’d fucked up by trusting the wrong guy.  Didn’t help that he kept trying to compete with a guy known for his genius and his ability to stare any problem in the face, punch it once with his intellect and creations, and boom, no more problem. 

“Pepper for starters,” Tony blurted out, “though she doesn’t live here, and she’s kind of gotten over the idea of you being around Morgan since the kid actually likes you and trusts you.” 

The expression on Justin’s face burst with a sappy fondness he used to reserve for his nephew alone, and he schooled it quickly when Tony had to dial back that initial Papa Bear concern that his kid was around several former villains these days.  Respectfully, he tried to look serious, to take Tony’s comments seriously. 

“To be fair, your kid’s awesome and one day’s gonna run circles around us to make the world a better place,” his words came out clear and heartfelt, and Justin thought he noticed that Papa Bear pride seeping into Tony’s features. 

Note to self, praise that adorable little big-eyed bunny, and that’ll keep Stark from wanting to shoot your nuts off.

“Yeah well.  That’s the truth of it.  Oh and Nat’s still keeping an eye on you.  Everyone else...you’re a somewhat clean slate with.  Not like you’re the only former bad guy in residence,” Tony remarked and went back to what he’d been working on when Justin wandered into the kitchen, namely working on agility and firm (but not too firm) grip with his new arm by making and rolling out pie dough. 

“You want some help?” Justin asked when it seemed like Tony was having trouble with one of the cookie cutters he was using to cut out star shapes (to go with the crescent moons).  He held up both hands when Tony just tossed a glare his way.  “No problem.  Just...offerin’.  As for Natasha, eh.  Sam mentioned it took her a little bit to warm up to Loki, too, so I’ll just...be patient.” 

Justin was in no rush to be liked, and he really didn’t expect to be.  It wasn’t even that he was being a martyr or self-deprecating or living on his low self-esteem.  The prison counselor got him to see where he’d fucked up way before he’d actually chained his personality to impressing the military and broke Anton Venko out of custody. 

Piece of shit and his dumb fucking bird.

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Thank you for the asks!

Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks