#Im trying to function
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//I have been zoinked out just staring at my pc screen all afternoon.
I will try and do something tonight. Bear with me T_T
#Im on my third coffee#Im trying to function#Todays been a big adulting day T_T#finances suck#useless capes
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sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you đ„° đ ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewisđđ„čTHEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!đđ )
#READ SO I CAN YAP TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEMđđ©đ#the seb sickfic made me realize how much i needed barely functioning and sick seb (but him still trying to be tough)#theres also a part that cracked me up bc at one point seb is so sick he cant even see straight but he just thinks to himself:#eh its fine.... ill just ask ominis how HE functions without vision laterđ€· LMFAO#so stubborn...JUST LET CLORA TAKE CARE OF YOU MFERđ€șđ€șđ€ș#defs gonna be drawing more from it especially sick seb LMAO but also seb having a tea party with celesteđ„čđ„č#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hphl#choccyart#also i was never planning on writing anything about clora giving birth or abt the kids so to be able to read it WAS AMAZING#THERES A PART WHERE SEB IS HOLDING CELESTE AND CRYING AT CLORAS BEDSIDE THAT I NEED TO DRAWđđ#LIKE SRSLY seb being conflicted and not even wanting to HOLD celeste bc he doesnt know if clora is alive or not... IT WAS SO SAD BUT GOOD#i honestly dont know what seb would do if clora died in childbirth tbh.......i could honestly see him resenting celeste#esp since she looks so much like clorađđ#LETS JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT!đđ#(still thinking about it)#like this line in the fic: âSebastian hesitated; if this was Cloraâs last gift to him he wasnât sure he wanted it.â#đđđITS SO GOOD UGHHHHHđ TY AGAIN FOR WRITING THESEđIM SO TOUCHEDDDđđ
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GUARDS! Bring me my propel, I'm thirsty..
#its so hot and im trying to stay hydrated#i don't have an appetite rn so im drinking water to help my body function in this summertime hell
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quick lil dae-ho thing
#rendering is lowkey ass but wtvr i did it really fast im giving myself a pass#im functioning at 40% today just not feelin it#ive just been chillin thinkin bout gi-hun which is kinda just my baseline these days#thought about the signs of gi-huns passive suicidalness in s2#i mean the russian roulette scene is obvious enough and speaks for itself. but the little things. maaannn#acting in a selfless and reckless way. he tried to be the one to split from the group during mingle when the number 4 got called out#in-ho had him beat tho#him leaving behind info for cheols whereabouts for the broker#him trying to call his daughter one last time#dudes ready to die for his cause its insanely obvious#god my favoritism is really showing cuz why tf am i talking about GI-HUN under DAE-HO art. my bad yall#kang daeho#kang dae ho#squid game#squid game fanart#fanart#my art
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I cannot stress enough that there's no way Bill Cipher would prioritise Ford over weirdmaggedon and part of his character is his refusal of redemption and his commitment to being a horrible person.
deep inhale
HOWEVER,
#i want to see the dymanic bill would have with ford and the rest of the family if he didn't try to kill them all!!#the pines family would then have THREE uncles who have committed several crimes#i kind of!! want a bill and ford dynamic where all the abuse never happened and they're just two grumpy old men complaining about#idk how inefficient non-fire shaving is#and bill is still a little shit but he's a lovable little shit who doesn't swap everyone's facial functions#idk maybe it's just the tiredness talking because bill is a really exhausting character to even think about and im getting a headache#bill cipher#stanford pines#ford pines#gf ford#gf stanford#bill cipher gf#gf bill cipher#billford
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a little one shot scene that I did back when I was sick uhhhhh last year. since it's now 2025. jesus christ, the passage of time sure is a concept.
anyway, I think this is as done as this page is ever going to get, partially because I decided to go in a different direction with fashion decisions, and I like how kay's hair turned out, so I'm freeing it from my WIP folder :)
#anyway my kingdom for a functioning health care system. i think my iron levels are kind of fucked and i'd love to see a doctor abt it#EUGHHH. anyway. to more important things. somehow. a kay-perceval dynamic has me in a vice grip#arthur is there ofc. bc he refuses to let kay go. and i dont blame him! sir kay. guy of all time#this was a fun page layout to mess with ngl. i think im going to try and work it into my Comic Layout Thoughts more often#could probably get some cool medieval manuscript bordering going on too#knights knights knights!
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Just finished Dr Stone Reboot
#Dr stone#Dr Stone Reboot: Byakuya#Dcst#Tsukasen#is there a rei tag here do you guys call her rei ishigami ...#byakuyas beautiful robot girl daughter and his cabbage son#she literally turned herself into a girl because she wanted to. that was an actual cosmetic upgrade and had no function whatsoever#also man i cant believe boichi really drew that panel of senku and tsukasa making out in the lab ... at first you think its just another#instance of an artist trying to queerbait or like do fanservice but that scene was really deep and poignant and important to both their#character arcs .. .so even though i did think it was a little gratuitous and in-your-face im glad they didnt shy away from illustrating it#also im obsessed with how tsukasa has to hunch over so much his shoulders are literally scrunched AND his knees are bent hes literally#trying so hard not to let senku lift his head too high or it would be uncomfortable. does he love him or what ?
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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if u broke up with suguru i do think his spiral would be insane enough for you to get back together with him purely out of worry and it wasnât even entirely on purpose bc he was trying to hide it LMAOOO
#he would try to appear functional but hes such a visible wreck#it does make me sad . im not thinking abt it#âari what about cult!suguâ oh u arent breaking up with him LOL#king of gaslighting himself heâll be like âwow i sure miss my baby .. wonder when this little break will be over ^.^â#ari noises â©
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So uh. With the exception of a fairly small transition scene (my beloathed) & editing, the first part of chapter 3 is completed.
Unless I somehow decide I absolutely hate it all while editing tomorrow...keep an eye out for a release this weekend âïž
#author posting#i want to power through and finish tonight#but I've written like 5k words today#only 3500ish of which i kept#and i can't think straight rn lmao#so finishing and editing tomorrow#currently it's at juuust over 100k#since i realized what i was trying to do with the argument scene was functionally impossible to code#with the branching i built for myself#so we pivot#anyway#im so excited y'all
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alternate system where shenjiu is in the system and shenyuan walks around with him in his head the whole time
#and the whole time theyâre trying to wrangle control of the body#this can either turn rlly dark or rlly funny#sj keeps trying to turn on the ooc function#idek where im going with this#sj in the later parts of the novel: WTF R U DOING WITH MY BODY#svsss#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#jiuyuan#yqy: are you okay?#sy: yup just dealing with a case of murderous voices in my head
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đ€
#umineko#umineko spoilers#umineko no naku koro ni#nina.png#shannon#kanon#sayo yasuda#hi im taking a break from twt etc rn so i figured it wld be a good time to put some more old stuff on here..#originally made this acc as a way to archive all my art (if twitter had a proper archive function and tags id just do it over there..) but#i forgor !#anyways i dont want to spam anyones dash so ill try and stagger uploads a bit..
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So... LinkedIn au part two, anyone?
this morning @adimouze got an actual linkedin notification while reading part one and a sign is a sign, so here goes part two of the linkedin au (btw if you think there's suspiciously not enough linkedin in here it's because i genuinely hate that capitalist hellhole with all my heart <3)
âDonât worry, mate. People on LindkedIn are a bunch of cunts, anywayâ
Max would have gasped, if heâd had less dignity, as he watched the man - Daniel, Daniel, Danyul in the flesh, the little icon from his LinkedIn feed, now sitting in the shitty bar, in front of him - swirl his $12 glass of rosĂ© and sip it, scrunching up his nose the same way Sassy did when Max didnât get her those little overpriced packets of turkey flavored wet food.
âUh- I would say of course not everyone on LinkedIn is a cunt, maybeâ Max said, completely and utterly dumbfounded, half because he was more than a little buzzed and half because heâd spent so much time thinking about finding Daniel that he hadnât actually thought out what heâd do then (didnât think heâd get this far, really). He could almost picture Lando laughing maniacally at the blush that was spreading all the way from his chest (thankfully hidden by his plain, black tee) to the very top of his ears, and he thanked whatever God was out there (Sir Isaac Newton, can you hear me?) that the younger engineer was too busy trying to pick up some Spanish car designer on the other side of the convention.
Max could blame the blush on the g&tâs, and not on the fact that his little virtual networking crush (what had his life come to) had the most dazzling smile heâd ever seen, staring him straight in the eyes.
âI would say that they are, then, if you donât have the balls toâ Daniel, who still hadnât introduced himself, responded with a cheeky smirk, âTheyâre all stuck up pricks. They act like they only care about furthering physics and science and the greater good when all they want is their name on a plaque somewhere and a couple of sports cars so they can wank off to the airflow of the diffusers or some shitâ
Max thought that was such a ridiculous notion, that respected aerodynamics engineers would spend their entire careers longing for a luxury car (and- okay, yeah, his desktop was an Aston Martin Valkyrie, but that was different, he knew that was just as out of his league as the guy standing in front of him right now). Furthermore, a pesky voice in the back of his head that sounded an awful lot like Jos was telling him that this guy was an ingrate, a disrespectful, unprofessional man whoâd get nowhere, but Max bit his tongue and then washed it away with a gulp of his g&t, letting Daniel speak because he clearly wanted to rant.
âIâm serious, mate, all these people ever come to do to conventions like this is flaunt their achievements. Like-â he adjusted his stance, wiggling his body so he could move the shitty bar stool without actually getting up, suddenly getting very, very much in Maxâs personal space, his thick, meaty thigh (who wore shorts to a networking event? This guy was crazy) almost brushing against Maxâs knee as he leaned over to whisper and point, âSee him? Thatâs Zak Brown, he owns McLaren Aerodynamics.â
Shit, wasnât that Landoâs boss? Now Max felt ever so slightly guilty for nodding along to the Britâs rants about his work, without actually ever hearing anything. âIf you talk to him, heâll invite you to a game of golf, and if you say yes heâll take you there in a Lambo and offer you a round of Chandon or some shit, his treat. You know how he gets all that money? Because people love to spend it, shit, I love it too, but donât you ever stop to think about where it comes from?â
Daniel leaned in even closer, his hot breath against the scorching heat of Maxâs helplessly flushed ear, his words ever so slightly slurred like maybe it hadnât been his first rosĂ©. Maybe heâd started off with something stronger in his car (was pregaming work conventions... a thing?), and now he was trying to look semi-dignified and failing.
âHe gets it from defense contractsâ
Max blinked owlishly at that, like maybe heâd heard it wrong. Surely he didn't mean to say what it sounded like he was, at the very least, implying. âUh- what? I thought they made, likeâŠâ he tried to concentrate, genuinely wrack his brain to remember what Lando had mentioned âUh, trains? High speed trains, donât they- isnât that what they make?â
Daniel laughed at that, a honky, unabashed laugh, throwing his head back and showing off those pearly whites as his curl bounced. âThatâs what theyâll tell you on their website, mate. That they care about the environment and are working with the UK government to make-â hic, âMake uhh, a- a greener future or some shit. And- yes, theyâve got contracts with the UK government, plenty of âem, but most of them are defenseâ
At Maxâs shocked expression, at his gaping mouth, Daniel sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, and yeah, he was definitely more drunk than Max, somehow.
âMissiles! They make missiles, Maxyâ
Max didnât think Lando was capable of even designing a missile for a fruit fly, much less for⊠actual humans. Fish, maybe. But humans seemed odd. âHow are you so sure?â
Daniel seemed to deflate at that, like everyone had said the same thing. He pulled back, elbows on the bar and head hung low between his sagged shoulders, and Max found himself missing the warmth of his tattooed thigh against his knee, even though he still felt feverish from the alcohol and the flusteredness of it all.
The Aussie hiccuped again, blinking a couple of times. âWorked thereâ he said, and he sounded almost beaten down as he added, âThen I quit. Eeeh, not true, actually, got fired. Publicly it was a mutual agreement. Doesnât matterâ he stopped to down what was left of his rosĂ©, grimacing although it must have been quite a pleasant, sweet taste, not at all a manâs drink, like Jos would say. âNow I make about a tenth of what I did and I teach the next generation of missile designers how to maximize⊠missilenessâ
Max hummed, quietly. He didnât quite know what to say at that - he made a mental note to ask Lando about some things on the drive back, sure, but other than that. He got a sense that maybe the funny LinkedIn man had turned into a sad, hot, somehow still funny LinkedIn man.
Maybe he just needed a friend. Someone to listen.
Max grimaced at that last thought, scrunching up his face and staring down at his g&t with hatred, like his favorite drink had been tainted with feelings, and they were rapidly making his way into his bloodstream.
What was he even thinking?! Sure, the guy was funny and clearly had had some success at some point of his career and he was kind of possibly the hottest man Max had ever seen but he was also clearly a loser. Besides, they were strangers! They hadnât even introduced themselves to each other! Daniel didnât even know Maxâs-
Wait.
âHow do you know my name?â
Danielâs eyes, previously fixed on a poster of a cowboy that advertised some sort of insurance Max couldn't care less about, widened almost comically. He stared at him for a beat too long before chuckling awkwardly. âUuuuh, what?â
âYou called me Maxy. You said, they make missiles, Maxyâ Max said, finally feeling the expected effect of his g&tâs, that was, some fucking courage. âHow do you know my name is Maxâ
A second passed.
Then another.
Then a third, and by the fourth Max had just now noticed the convention was blasting some shitty, outdated jazz music, which worked more as a sleep inducer than a mood setter.
By the fifth, Max was thinking maybe Daniel wouldnât answer, so he doubled down and looked eyes with him, but Daniel immediately looked away, flustered and biting down on his plush, pink lip, frowning as if deep in thought. âUuuuhâ he stammered, rubbing his face with the heels of his palms again, chuckling awkwardly, âWould it be too lame to say I follow you on LinkedIn?â
part 3
#daniel ricciardo#max verstappen#maxiel#my fic#my writing#this was actually soooo fun to write btw#max and daniel take turns with the one (1) communal braincell#also btw college professor!daniel is actually really happy with his new job he's just drunk off his ass for reasons that might be explored#later in a new instalment if people are interested or something#im just trying to explore how everyone would function in this au because frankly none of them have the brains to be physicists/engineers#but then again who doesn't love a good suspension of disbelief#linkedin influencer!au#lando mention if you squint (barely there)#wrote this while listening to chappell roan >:)
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sick(?)
#messyr#doodle#vent art#?? well not really! just skl#coping through drawing bc its what keeps me from rotting in bed#my body cant keep up fjdshzhl and i just feel worse every time i try to 'function' even as basic tasks it makes me want to throw up AAAAH#this artist does not KNOW how to take care of themselves help help help help fsdjxhf#how am i supposed to fkin tell my dad nor my relatives im just so- PHYSICALLY- and MENTALLY TIRED without it perceived as lazy or an excuse#same goes to my professors bc ive been missing out ALOT in school lately and my classmates are also probably wondering where the hell I am#( group activities etc etc i want to km s - I've failed TWO MAJOR SUBJECTS BC OF HOW IVE BEEN DOING-AAAAAAAAAH)#if not physically then its my noisy ass brain that spirals me into depressive episodes where I literally cant do jackshit about
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hi i'm alive i'm just struggling my way to happiness & productivity
#but i swear i AM going to achieve it đȘđȘđȘđȘđȘ even if my main strssor rn is being so behind on work again đȘđȘđȘđȘđȘđȘđȘđȘđȘ#comms comms comms#wheee#tomorrow is my bday but today is CRUNCH day im gonna spend 6 hours minimum @ work and then maybe more#this year im gonna get medicated for my adhd but so help me god in the meantime i am going to try with my whole heart to use schedules#and planners and reminders and focus apps and music to put myself in a no distractions cube#AH#RAUH#who needs addy when i can just smoke a bit of weed and ignore bodily functions for a few hours while i work#wweheeeeeeEW#my art#furry#oc: cow#fursona#cowmic#sortta#idunno. an update comic#bc i feel like ive been leaving everyone in the dark and it feels Bad#also sorry one last thing.#FUCK paypal. fuck paypal forever and ever.
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Look I know Lucifer isn't the best dad ever but I feel like people who say he's a bad dad are purposely ignoring the context of the show. It is very much implied that he thought Charlie wanted nothing to do with him, and Charlie thought he wanted nothing to do with her. Luciferâs still dealing with trauma from Heaven and his fall and probably will for the rest of time plus he's dealing with what would probably qualify as clinical depression, and simultaneously dealing with trauma, clinical depression, and autistic traits (which Lucifer absolutely has; I do not say, as an autistic person, that Lucifer is a massive autistic mood for no reason) is a fucking NIGHTMARE.
I'm not saying Lucifer shouldn't take responsibility. He should. But he's already doing better than my dad frankly. Lucifer hits me in the daddy issues, I wish my dad made an effort to be more active in my life. Lucifer is fucking trying, and that's better than a lot of people can say about their dads.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#like i said hes definitely not the best dad but hes also not the worst. hes trying#thats both better than he was doing and better than a lot of people get#(i do think stolas is a better dad but his and lucifers circumstances are also completely different)#if lucifer hadnt bothered helping charlie then yeah id say hes a bad dad#but he put his instinct to avoid the thing that gave him trauma (heaven) at all costs aside for charlie#he was able to acknowledge that yes hes been a shit dad and could be doing better#he made an active effort TO DO BETTER#he actively made a change about himself for the sake of being there for charlie and that alone is better than most people can do#he wasnt a bad dad on purpose. he thought charlie didnt want to see him and acted accordingly which made his mental health problems worse#and his mental health problems being worse made it harder for him to function let alone be charlies dad#again im not saying he shouldnt take accountability just that people dont acknowledge why he was absent for so long#(me being me i blame lilith for making lucifer think charlie didnt want to see him and making charlie think lucifer didnt want to see her)#maybe this is littered with bad takes and my perspective is clouded by daddy issues. idk lol
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