#Imperial Army/Naval Officers

[sidonius5]

ℐ 𝒸𝒶𝓃'𝓉 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝑒𝓃𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒥𝒶𝓅𝒶𝓃𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝒜𝓃𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓊𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝑜𝒻 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐬. 𝒯𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝑔𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑒𝑜𝓊𝓈...

[empiredesimparte]

POINT ROYAL Magazine | Special Edition | Coronation: portrait of H.I.M Emperor Napoleon V, the young emperor out to prove himself

Emperor Napoleon V is one of the world's youngest rulers. Among the pantheon of Napoleons, he is sometimes compared by the French people to l'Aiglon (Napoleon II). In any case, this is the affectionate nickname that the imperial family has given him since he was a child. Soon, in a grandiose ceremony, l'Aiglon will be crowned Emperor at Notre-Dame de Paris. In the run-up to the event, we invite you to rediscover His Majesty's extraordinary first 19 years through our pages packed with illustrations and memorabilia.

Who is emperor Napoleon V?

One of the first official photographs of Prince Imperial Louis, shortly after his christening.

Emperor Napoleon V was born Louis Napoleon Simparte on 22 October 2002 at the Tuileries Palace in the heart of Paris. He and his twin sister, Hortense Rose Simparte, became known as the Children of Francesim. Since the 12th century, this title has referred to the legitimate children of the French monarch. The following days, Louis and Hortense were baptised at Notre-Dame de Paris by the Archbishop of Paris.

Left: As a toddler, he attended Emperor David of Pierreland's state visit to Francesim. Right: A little later, aged just 8, Louis made his first public speech on the occasion of the Napoleonic events.

From the moment he was born, the young imperial prince was already the first in the order of succession to the throne, so he was quickly associated with the Crown's public appearances and activities.

Left: 1st official portrait of the Prince Imperial wearing the Imperial Guard uniform. Right: Francesim's children receive their first riding lessons at the Versailles stables.

From an early age, Louis showed a keen interest in a military career. He wore the uniforms of the various regiments to which he belonged. Even today, the young emperor has a vast wardrobe of uniforms, which he prefers to wear instead of civilian ceremonial dress. Not surprising for a Napoleon.

Louis and Hortense have a modern educational background, having been educated at illustrious Parisian public schools such as Sainte-Barbe. Outgoing and charming, Louis has always had the profile of a charismatic leader. Unlike his sister Hortense, who was quieter and more shy, Louis always surrounded himself with friends quickly. Little is known about this period of their lives, in accordance with the wishes of the late Emperor Napoleon IV.

Official portrait of the Children of Francesim on their 18th birthday. The photo was taken at the Château de Meudon, the official residence of the Imperial Princes of Francesim.

Last year, Louis and Hortense celebrated their 18th birthday. It was a very busy year for the Children of Francesim: Hortense took part in her first royal activities, while Louis spearheaded the maritime alliance project between the Pierreland Empire (@officalroyalsofpierreland) and the Empire of Francesim. Together with Duke Felipe, he inaugurated the Henry submarine, which combines the expertise of both armies.

The Prince Imperial and Duke Felipe on the day of the inauguration of the Francesim-Pierreland maritime alliance.

Portraits of Francesim's children taken at the Ecole Polytechnique. They are wearing the school uniform, which regularly takes part in military parades.

At the end of their respective engagements, the twins entered the Ecole Polytechnique together and became Polytechniciens. They completed their year and took part in the end-of-year gala held at the beginning of the summer at the Opéra Garnier.

The Ecole Polytechnique offered a combination of military, scientific and economic training.

While Hortense wished to continue her scientific studies at the Ecole Polytechnique, after the coronation Louis turned to the Francesim Naval School, which trained naval officers.

During his year at Polytechnique, Louis became Napoleon V at the age of 19, following the violent death of his father in an ambush in the middle of Paris.

The death of Emperor Napoleon IV is still shrouded in mystery, and an investigation is underway. It will give rise to an impressive trial, where many wonder whether Emperor Napoleon V will wish to sit as a judge - his imperial powers theoretically allow him to do so.

It was during the period of mourning that Napoleon V made his relationship with the future Empress Charlotte official. In fact, Their Imperial Majesties had known each other since the age of 3 and had grown up together. A little-known fact is that Charlotte accompanied Louis to the Ecole Polytechnique and even took part in military training! "Charlotte has always impressed me, she has a lot of presence, allure, and always the right words" confided Napoleon during the Cannes Film Festival, where the couple announced their engagement. He also admitted that he had long had feelings for his beloved (several years), but never dared to admit them until his father's death. The tragedy made him realise that he had to enjoy every moment of life.

The imperial couple shared with us some rare photos of their years before the rise of Napoleon V.

Charlotte brought much joy to the young emperor, who appreciated her advice and the "Mortemart spirit". After all, Empress Charlotte is a member of the famous and noble French family of Rochechouart-Mortemart. L'esprit Mortemart is a well-known expression that praises the family's caustic, natural and fine sense of humour. The imperial couple's entourage readily acknowledged that Charlotte had inherited this characteristic wit, which has the art of giving it to others.

The first official portrait of the married Emperor Napoleon V and Empress Charlotte. The Emperor wears the uniform of the Imperial Guard, and the Empress has reused Madame Mère's wedding dress as a tribute to her new family.

At the beginning of June, the emperor married Charlotte. It was a marriage that may have seemed rather hasty given the young age of the couple. However, Napoleon V always made it clear that he wanted to be crowned alongside Charlotte. To do so, he had to pass through the altar, as the coronation is a partly religious ceremony. Madame Mère supported her son's determination and was delighted for him. After all, "the two of them have been looking for each other since they were children, so it was bound to happen sooner or later", she assures us. Charlotte seems to have been well received by her in-laws, although there are rumours of a disagreement between the Empress and Madame Hortense.

After a well-deserved honeymoon in French Polynesia, the lovers are now devoting their full attention to preparations for the coronation. It was a year marked by many upheavals for the emperor, who courageously faced up to the trials of life. Without a doubt, the post-coronation period will be the real beginning of Napoleon V's reign, and we can't wait to see what the emperor's next initiatives will be.

⚜ Traduction française

POINT ROYAL Magazine | Edition spéciale | Couronnement : portrait de S.M l'Empereur Napoléon V, le jeune empereur qui veut faire ses preuves

L'empereur Napoléon V est l'un des dirigeants les plus jeunes au monde. Parmi le panthéon des Napoléons, il est parfois comparé par le peuple français à l'Aiglon (Napoléon II). C'est en tout cas le surnom affectueux que lui donne la famille impériale depuis sa plus tendre enfance. Bientôt, dans une cérémonie grandiose, l'Aiglon sera sacré Empereur à Notre-Dame de Paris. En vue de l'événement, nous vous proposons de redécouvrir, à travers nos pages riches d'illustrations et de souvenirs, les 19 premières années extraordinaires de Sa Majesté.

Qui est l'empereur Napoléon V ?

L'une des premières photographies officielles du prince impérial Louis, un peu après son baptême.

L'empereur Napoléon V est né Louis Napoléon Simparte, le 22 octobre 2002 au palais des Tuileries, en plein cœur de Paris. Lui et sa sœur jumelle, Hortense Rose Simparte, portent alors le titre d'Enfants de Francesim. Il désigne depuis le XIIIe siècle les enfants légitimes du monarque français. Les jours suivants, Louis et Hortense sont baptisés à Notre-Dame de Paris, par l'archevêque de Paris.

Dès sa naissance, le jeune prince impérial est d'ores et déjà premier dans l'ordre de succession au trône et il est donc associé rapidement aux apparitions publiques et activités de la Couronne. Bambin, il a assisté à la visite d'Etat de l'empereur David de Pierreland en Francesim. Un peu plus tard, à l'âge de 8 ans à peine, Louis fait son premier discours public à l'occasion des événements napoléoniens.

A gauche : 1er portrait officiel du prince impérial portant l'uniforme de la garde impériale. A droite : Les Enfants de Francesim reçoivent leurs premiers cours d'équitation à l'écurie de Versailles.

Très tôt, Louis a manifesté un grand intérêt pour une carrière militaire. Il porte d'ailleurs depuis son plus jeune âge des uniformes de divers régiments dont il fait partie. Encore aujourd'hui, le jeune empereur possède une grande garde-robe d'uniformes, qu'il préfère porter à la place des tenues civiles d'apparat. Rien d'étonnant pour un Napoléon.

Louis et Hortense ont un parcours scolaire moderne, puisqu'ils ont été formés dans des écoles privées parisiennes illustres comme Sainte-Barbe. D'un caractère sociable et charmeur, Louis a toujours eu le profil d'un leader charismatique. Contrairement à sa soeur Hortense, plus calme et timide, Louis s'est toujours entouré d'amis rapidement. Peu d'informations sont connues de cette période de leur vie, selon le souhait de feu l'empereur Napoléon IV.

Portrait officiel des Enfants de Francesim pour leurs 18 ans. Le cliché a été pris au château de Meudon, la demeure officielle des princes impériaux de Francesim.

L'an dernier, Louis et Hortense célébraient leurs 18 ans. Une année très riche pour les Enfants de Francesim : Hortense a participé à ses premières activités royales, tandis que Louis a mené de front le projet d'alliance maritime entre l'empire de Pierreland et l'empire de Francesim. Il a inauguré avec le duc Felipe le sous-marin Henry, qui allie le savoir-faire des deux armées.

Le prince impérial et le duc Felipe le jour de l'inauguration de l'alliance maritime Francesim-Pierreland.

Portraits des Enfants de Francesim réalisés à l'Ecole Polytechnique. Ils sont dans le grand uniforme de l'école, qui participe régulièrement aux défilés militaires.

A la fin de leurs engagements respectifs, les jumeaux sont entrés ensemble à l'Ecole Polytechnique et sont devenus des polytechniciens. Ils ont terminé leur année et ont participé au gala de fin d'année qui a eu lieu au début de l'été à l'Opéra Garnier.

L'Ecole Polytechnique offre à la fois une formation militaire, scientifique et économique.

Si Hortense souhaite continuer son cycle scientifique à l'Ecole Polytechnique, Louis va se tourner après le couronnement vers l'Ecole navale de Francesim, qui forme les officiers de la marine.

Pendant son année à Polytechnique, Louis devient Napoléon V à l'âge de 19 ans, suite au violent décès de son père dans une embuscade en plein Paris.

La mort de l'empereur Napoléon IV est encore entourée de mystères, une enquête est en cours. Elle donnera lieu à un procès impressionnant, où beaucoup se demandent si l'empereur Napoléon V souhaitera y siéger en tant que juge - ses pouvoirs impériaux le permettent, théoriquement.

C'est durant la période de deuil que Napoléon V officialise sa relation avec la future impératrice Charlotte. En réalité, Leurs Majestés Impériales se connaissent depuis l'âge de 3 ans et ont grandi ensemble. Fait peu connu, Charlotte a accompagné Louis à l'Ecole Polytechnique et a même participé aux formations militaires ! "Charlotte m'a toujours impressionné, elle a beaucoup de prestance, d'allure, et des mots toujours justes, une personnalité assurée." confie Napoléon durant le festival de Cannes, où le couple a annoncé leurs fiançailles. Il reconnaîtra aussi qu'il a longtemps eu des sentiments pour sa belle (depuis plusieurs années), mais qu'il n'a jamais osé les avouer avant la mort de son père. La tragédie lui aurait fait réaliser qu'il doit profiter de chaque instant de la vie.

Le couple impérial a partagé avec nous de rares clichés photographiques de leurs années avant l'ascension de Napoléon V.

Charlotte apporte beaucoup de joie au jeune empereur, qui apprécie ses conseils et "l'esprit Mortemart". Car l'impératrice Charlotte est un membre de la célèbre et noble famille française des Rochechouart-Mortemart. L'esprit Mortemart est une expression bien connue, qui vante l'humour caustique, naturel et fin de la famille. L'entourage du couple impérial reconnaît volontiers que Charlotte a hérité de cet esprit si caractéristique, qui a l'art d'en donner aux autres.

Premier portrait officiel de l'empereur Napoléon V et de l'impératrice Charlotte mariés. L'empereur porte l'uniforme de la garde impériale, et l'impératrice a réutilisé la robe de mariage de Madame Mère afin de rendre hommage à sa nouvelle famille.

Début juin, l'empereur épouse Charlotte. Un mariage qui a pu paraître assez précipité au-vu du jeune âge des mariés. Cependant, Napoléon V a toujours assuré qu'il souhaitait être couronné aux côtés de Charlotte. Pour cela, il devait passer par l'autel puisque le sacre est une cérémonie en partie religieuse. Madame Mère a soutenu la détermination de son fils et est ravie pour lui. Après tout, "les deux se cherchent depuis qu'ils sont enfants, ça allait forcément arriver un jour ou l'autre" assure-t-elle. Charlotte semble avoir été bien accueillie par sa belle-famille, bien que certaines rumeurs soupçonnent une mésentente entre l'impératrice et Madame Hortense.

Après un voyage de noces bien mérité en Polynésie française, les amoureux se dévouent désormais intégralement aux préparations du couronnement. C'est une année marquée par de nombreux bouleversements pour l'empereur, qui a su courageusement faire face aux épreuves de la vie. Sans nul doute, l'après couronnement sera le début véritable du règne de Napoléon V, et nous avons hâte de voir quelles seront les prochaines initiatives de l'empereur.

[good-old-gossip]

Free Haiti from U.S. Interference and Imperialism!!!

On July 28, 1915, the US invaded Haiti, starting a brutal 19-year occupation of the country. Conducted for selfish economic reasons and racist motives, the US waged two brutal wars against the native population, murdering thousands.

The invasion led to a 19-year US occupation, with 15,000 Haitians being killed and 50,000 peasants losing their land.

US Marines imposed martial law, seized homes, stole gold that was sent to Wall Street, and rewrote the constitution to give foreigners land rights. Haitians had originally fought alongside Americans in the American Revolutionary War in the 18th century.

However, a slave revolt in 1791, which eventually led to the successful 1804 Haitian revolution, frightened slave owners in the south of the US.  

In 1891, President Benjamin Harrison sent the USS Philadelphia to Port-au-Prince, demanding that the Haitian government establish a naval base at Môle Saint-Nicolas.

Soon afterward, other ships with 100 guns and 2,000 men were sent, but the Haitians refused the request.

The US became Haiti’s main trade partner, and from 1910 to 1911, the Department of State supported investors, including New York banks, in acquiring a large stake in the Haitian National Bank. American businessmen argued that an occupation of Haiti was needed to safeguard US assets.

Amid fears that Haiti would default on its payments, US Marines confiscated the country’s gold reserves worth $500,000 in December 1914. In February 1915, Vilbrun Guillaume Sam became Haitian President and ordered the execution of political prisoners. Following the executions, the local population rebelled and lynched Sam.

The US saw the revolt as anti-American and became concerned about its business interests. When anti-American Rolsavo Bobo emerged as a potential president, they decided to invade. Wilson ordered the Marines to occupy Port-au-Prince, and they shot dead Pierre Sully, the first Haitian soldier to resist the invasion.

The US also installed a puppet, President Philippe Sudré Dartiguenave, and gave the State Department and the Navy the right to run the country. When Haitian lawmakers refused to change the constitution, soldiers marched into the National Assembly and dissolved it at gunpoint. Haitians who rebelled against forced labor were bound by rope, and rebel leader Charlemagne Péralte was shot while his corpse was tied to a door.

To satisfy their selfish economic and racist agenda, US forces treated Haitians terribly.

They fought two wars against rebels known as cacos, killing thousands in brutal mass killings that included lynchings as well as burning and burying civilians alive.

[simplepotatofarmer]

premise: techno is a successful and feared pirate in a world where imperialism and government control are expanding, crushing anyone who disagrees beneath its boot. the ranks of the pirate factions are dwindling as they're hunted down. techno and his vague rival, dream, are some of the few that remain to push back.

when techno is captured and forced into working on a naval ship, he runs into a naval officer, phil, he had drinks with once, in what feels like another life. during his work stint, techno and phil bond and when rescue is imminent, techno offers phil and his two closest friends, ranboo and niki, a choice: leave the navy and come with him.

whatever choice the three make, one thing is clear. the government has no intentions of stopping until their control reaches the far ends of the sea, going as far as installing a governor to rule over one of the last free lands and sending out their ship-of-the-line, the butcher army, to quell any uprising.

now it's war, complete with unlikely allies and unwilling sacrifices.

characters: technoblade, phil, dream, ranboo, niki, george, sapnap, and others in minor roles

setting: non-canon with minor fantasy and steampunk elements and mentions of canon

theme song(s): 'salty dog' by flogging molly & 'the basket or the blade' by enter the haggis & 'revolution regained' by the living end

random headcanons:

techno's first ship is a sloop called the golden bell and dream's first ship is a brigantine called manhunter.

despite giving quarter to most of his enemies, techno's skill has earned him the nickname 'blood god', in part thanks to his strange ritual of ringing a bell before every battle. the sound alone is often enough for target ships to give up before the battle even begins.

dream's rivalry with techno is almost fully one-sided though the two did clash early on, resulting in a duel that techno won. dream respects his skill and seems to enjoy bringing up the duel, almost bragging that he lost to techno.

ranboo joined the navy after migrating to the new land and finding survival next to impossible and joining the navy being one of the only ways to have guaranteed income.

years ago, phil and techno met in a tavern. they shared multiple rounds of drinks and techno stood up for phil when a group of thieves attempted to rob him which was considered a bit taboo since phil was an outsider and techno was one of them. it put techno in a slightly awkward position as he was just starting out and hadn't yet gained his reputation.

dream's flag is similar to teach's flag except the skeleton wears an unnerving and inhumane smile, like a child might draw, and holds a bloody axe in one hand and a book in the other.

this is techno's flag:

niki eventually gains her own ship called 'the sea flower' and flies under a combination of her own flag and techno's faction, declaring her loyalty to him.

the 'big bad' is not any character but an original character though characters like quackity, sam, tubbo, etc. do work for them at various points.

☠️tag ☠️ pinterest board

[contentment-of-cats]

An Axxilan's Progress: Ripple

No action takes place in a containment field. Death Squadron was the post of choice for ambitious officers. Nobody lacking five years of naval experience even got assigned. The qualifications for senior staff were stringent, but invariably someone knows someone else and they end up being piped aboard anyway. The IHC also found it an expedient way to remove certain officers without the awkwardness of inquests. However, there were highly competent and effective officers who would do anything to avoid being reassigned.

Sartan was willing to take a punch as often as needed to keep his Flag Captain, demoting or promoting as needed. When he put on the white of a Grand Admiral, he was nursing a real beauty mark of a black eye as every single time Fir Piett poked his nose above lieutenant commander there was a communique from personnel demanding his transfer. Moreover, other officers were starting to copy the methodology. Most flags and not a few captains if gathered in one place would appear to have been in a dive bar brawl. If one wanted to keep one's best officers, a little pain was involved. The 'Piett Maneuver' began to spread into the Army and it really could not be allowed to stand.

Vader consulted with Tarkin. The man fully approved of Piett's focus on piracy and smuggling along his methods of dealing with them. For a man of Tarkin's ambition, he was quite clear-headed about what he termed 'strategic demotions.'

"There is a general sentiment, my Lord, that Death Squadron is for gloryhounds, the well-connected, and the determined ladder climber." Captain Veers was a man to speak his mind. "They are using the ICMJ to get what they want. The flags want to keep their best men, the best men want to stay where they feel they are of better use."

"And since the regs state that a transfer order must include current rank, the admirals are playing a shell game. The Grand Admirals are a good idea, but they are canny men, focused on results, and are mentoring like-minded men." Tarkin added, "Piett is willing to be demoted to zygote if it will gain him what he wants, or even to be discharged so that he can go back to chasing pirates around the Hegemony."

It was agreed. All they had to do was wait and Veers would handle the ops. Ascension Week meant a lot of celebrating, and Piett was reliably going to be at an establishment near Royal Imperial Academy called Dorto's. Buckets of beer, platters of meat for Outer Rim diets, and dancing - frequently on the floor, but also on top of the bar and tables as well.

Veers had heard the descriptive 'kicking and screaming' to characterize extreme reluctance, but never through he'd actually get to see it. In addition to kicking and screaming there was also biting and stabbing. Lots of stabbing. Where did all those knives come from? And that holdout blaster? And the ghostpepper bomb? Then there was the doonium pipe and highly effective blows to the knees.

Short was also angry along with fast and Max earned four broken toes, but brought in his man.

[stephensmithuk]

The Blanched Soldier

Originally published in 1926; the Americans actually got this one first by a month.

I have covered the Boer War extensively in a previous post, but will add some notes on items directly relevant to this story.

The Imperial Yeomanry were a volunteer i.e. not career military force of mounted infantry formed in 1900 as reinforcements in the Boer War. They were disbanded in 1908 and merged into the Territorial Force, a precursor of what is now called the Army Reserve.

Mounted infantry were infantry that travelled on horseback and fount dismounted. They continued in use into the Cold War, with some units also being "mounted" on bicycles on both sides of the Second World War, before being replaced with mechanised infantry.

Middlesex was the traditional county that covered much of the North and West of what is now Greater London; losing a large chunk of its territory and population to the London County Council in 1889. It was abolished in 1965, but remains very much a thing for sporting and cultural purposes, with its own county cricket team being just one example.

A martinet is a strict disciplinarian, the name coming for a type of short whip. Arnold RImmer from Red Dwarf is sometimes described as such, although the character is clearly meant to be quite pathetic.

The Victoria Cross is the highest British award for gallantry, equivalent to the Medal of Honor and like that medal, frequently awarded posthumously. It also usually requires multiple witnesses to the gallantry in question. It trumps absolutely everything bar the George Cross in the honours system, and it is traditional for a private with a VC to be saluted by a general officer.

The most recent VC was awarded to Joshua Leakey in 2015 for his involvement in a firefight with the Taliban in Afghanistan in 2013, where he took control of a machine gun left on a hill and kept firing even as bullets ricocheted off the weapon.

An elephant gun is a large calibre rifle intended for use against elephants and large animals. They saw some military use in the World Wars by the British against armoured German snipers in the trenches of the First and by the Italians against British armoured cars in North Africa during the Second. Since ivory hunting became taboo, they are much less common.

Bedford is a market town in England and county town of Bedfordshire. It has two stations, the main one being located on the Midland Main Line running into St Pancras. Served by Thameslink, East Midlands Railway and London Northwestern Railway services, the last on the Marston Vale line to Bletchley, it is on the outer edge of the London commuter belt.

The other station at Bedford St. John's is served by LNWR services on the Marston Vale line to Bletchley, which is part of the former Varsity Line from Oxford to Cambridge. The station was resited in 1984.

The Sultan of Turkey - and the whole Ottoman Empire - in 1903 was Abdul Hamid II, a modernising absolute ruler who faced many assassination attempts and was ousted in a coup in 1909, replaced by his half-brother Mehmed V.

The Spectator is a British political magazine that has run since 1828. Being distinctly conservative in its world view, its former editors include one Boris Johnson.

"Squadron" was the traditional term for company or battalion sized cavalry or mounted infantry units. Outside of naval and air force use, it is now used for armoured units, which are frequently old cavalry units that just changed their level of horsepower.

Stoep is an Afrikaans word for "stoop".

Leprosy is transmittable by close contact, but you generally need a lot of it. It is still common in Brazil, much of Africa and India, but is now curable. Prejudice remains a big problem, with "leper colonies" still being common.

The general scholarly consensus is that it wasn't ichthoysis, of which there are many types. The NHS has more information here (with pictures): https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ichthyosis/

[krastbannert]

The Day of Days: Eighty Years After

It was a brisk summer night, almost like any other June night in England.

The terror of the Blitz was long over. Four years ago, the Battle of Britain long had been won. Two years ago in the Pacific the Americans had shocked the world with impossible victories at Midway and Guadalcanal.  A year ago, the last German forces had surrendered in North Africa, and the Communists of the Soviet Union had done the impossible and stopped the German war machine in its tracks at the gates of Stalingrad and Moscow before, finally, turning the tide at Kursk. A month early the British Army in India had stopped the Imperial Japanese Army in its tracks at Kohima Ridge, and for the first time in three years the Japanese were on the run. Just a day before, the American Fifth Army had liberated Rome, freeing the "Eternal City" from fascism after twenty years.

They were winning - just. The war was still going on, ever-present in their minds, but they could sleep soundly under a quiet, friendly sky.

But in the dark, in army camps and airfields and naval bases and offices across the southwest of England, the scene was very different. Men whispered to each other, prayers and jokes, trying to lighten the tension in the air, so thick they could cut it with a knife. John Ford - the famed Hollywood director turned Navy Field Photographic unit captain - supposedly told his wife he was going off for a little local skirmish. And in his private office, Dwight D. Eisenhower - Commander, Supreme Headquarters Allied Expeditionary Force - typed the resignation he hoped he'd never have to give. If the unthinkable happened, if this gamble failed...they might never get another chance.

All at once, all across the southwest of England, just before midnight, the quiet was shattered by the roar of thousands upon thousands of piston engines, and thousands of men, some barely out of high school, clambered aboard planes and landing craft for a journey into the dark.

Eisenhower penned a short note, and ensured that a copy was given to every single one of the men under his command. It read, very simply:

"You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you. The hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with you. In company with our brave Allies and brothers-in-arms on other Fronts, you will bring about the destruction of the German war machine, the elimination of Nazi tyranny over the oppressed peoples of Europe, and security for ourselves in a free world."

It was June 6th, 1944, and after three years of begging by Josef Stalin, and a year of intense planning, brutal training, unparalleled deception, and massive buildup, the time had come to do the impossible.

The Allies were going to break the Atlantic Wall, or die trying.

It was a herculean task. The Germans had spent four years preparing for just this day, filling every beach from Cherbourg to Amsterdam with every kind of mine imaginable, dotting Czech hedgehogs and wooden posts tipped with high explosives along the shallow coastlines, and building bunkers with encased machine guns and artillery, pre-sighting mortars and artillery, digging trenches and building tens of thousands of pillboxes, and digging enough anti-aircraft positions to turn night into day. In command was Erwin Rommel, the famed "Desert Fox", a veteran of the brutal World War I Italian front, and one of the best tank commanders in the world who had fought across France and North Africa. Under his command were almost half a million German troops, including battle hardened veterans of France, Africa, and Russia.

Standing against them, over a thousand planes and gliders carrying over 23,000 paratroopers from the United States, the United Kingdom, and Canada. Behind them, thousands of fighters and bombers and almost seven thousand landing craft and ships carrying more than 160,000 men from thirteen nations.

The Day of Days began just after midnight.

At 00:48 on June 6th, 1944, the men of the 101st Airborne became the first of to make a terrifying jump into the dark.

It was the beginning of the single largest amphibious invasion ever attempted. Six hours after the paratroopers took the plunge, at 06:30 local time, the first men stumbled onto shore, and into the jaws of death.

Almost immediately, the entire plan fell apart. Fog, cloud cover, a lack of navigators, and brutal anti-aircraft fire forced many pilots to signal the paratroopers to drop outside their assigned zones, mixing units and men and causing absolute chaos on the ground. The weather in the channel was not much better: high seas swamped many of the landing craft and amphibious tanks, and strong currents pushed entire regiments out of their landing zones.

When the men finally made it to the beach, they faced a desperate run across the dreaded shingle: a nearly half-mile expanse of open sand and rock, with no protection at all from the waiting German defenders. Their fire support - the naval vessels waiting offshore, bristling with guns of all calibers - was of little help; the captains refused to close any farther than the extreme ranges for fear of counter fire. And the bad weather in the skies above prevented pilots from accurate close air support.

Over ten thousand men from both sides would have their lives ripped apart on beaches in just that first day.

On Omaha Beach alone, almost two thousand men were killed. Some didn't even get a chance to face the enemy - instead, they simply drowned, their heavy equipment weighing them down into the cold waters of the North Atlantic. The beaches themselves, its said, turned red with blood as men were killed by the dozen. At Gold, Juno, and Sword Beaches, the Canadians and British managed to make it off the beach, only to be forced into fortified towns, where they endured the brutality and chaos of house-to-house urban warfare. At Pointe du Hoc, between Omaha and Utah Beach, the U.S. 2nd Ranger Battalion were forced to scale a one hundred foot cliff under withering enemy fire, only to become totally cut off. When they were finally relieved after two days, only 65 of the original 200 men were left standing, and they were forced to use captured German weapons as theirs ran out of ammunition, resulting in some of their number being killed due to friendly fire.

The paratroopers faired even worse - of the more than 20,000 American paratroopers and aircrew who made the desperate flight across the Channel, it's estimated that more than twelve thousand were killed.

The carnage was unlike anything anyone in the Allied forces had seen before, unlike Operation Torch or El Alamein in North Africa, unlike the Miracle of Dunkirk or the Battle of Britain, unlike Guadalcanal and New Guinea, unlike Salerno, Anzio, and Sicily.

For this untold sacrifice, this bloody hell that almost two hundred thousand men endured, they had only managed to capture a few square miles, only two of five beaches were connected, and they had failed to capture a single major city or port. The Allies failed to achieve even one of their major objectives - save one.

After five years of war, the Allies had a foothold.

The mother of all Hail Mary's had worked.

By the end of D-Day, almost 160,000 men had crossed the Channel into Fortress Europe.

On D+6, the beaches were finally connected.

On D+7, the city of Carentan was freed by the 101st Airborne, the first major French town to be liberated.

By D+20, the port city of Cherbourg was taken, and the Cotentin Peninsula was free after four long years.

On D+50, the city of Caen was freed, and the objectives of D-Day had finally been completed. By this time, more than 1.5 million men from 15 nations had landed in Europe.

On D+70, the Allies landed on the beaches of Côte d'Azur, and in only four weeks broke the southern German front line, and liberated the entire south of France.

On D+76, the Falaise Pocket collapsed, and the Battle of Normandy was finally declared over in a resounding Allied victory.

Then, at long last, on D+80, General der Infanterie Dietrich von Cholitz, at 3:30 PM local time, surrended the city of Paris to General Phillipe Leclerc. After four years of occupation, the first Allied capital was free. The footage of that day has been called some of the most thrilling and ecstatic footage in history.

The march continued, and on D+89, the Welsh Guards marched into the Belgian capital of Brussels.

But the war was far from over - on D+193, the Wehrmacht launched Operation Nordwind; the Battle of the Bulge had begun. It would be Germany's last offensive, at the cost of hundreds of thousands of lives.

On D+274, the Allies crossed the Rhine, and liberated the Netherlands, and then finally entered Germany.

On D+303, the U.S. 4th Armored Division stumbled upon a scene of unimaginable cruelty: it was a camp named Ohrdruf, part of the Buchenwald complex, the first concentration camp to be liberated by the United States. Allied intelligence services had long suspected what was going on, that their were camps across Europe for Hitler's "undesirables", and the Allies had even signed a declaration making public and condemning the killing of Jews in Poland, but no one was prepared to see the true scale of the atrocities. Eisenhower demanded that every single piece of the camp be photographed, videotaped, and documented, that everyone possible be brought to see it to impress upon them the reality of what the Germans had done. Hollywood director George Stevens was given the task of making movies describing the horrors of the Holocaust, movies that were later shown to the world at the Nuremberg Trials. The movies were said to be the moment that changed the course of the Nuremberg Trials.

Then, on April 30th, 1945 - three-hundred and twenty eight days after the 'Longest Day' - Adolf Hitler, the man who had been the head of so much destruction, who had started the most destructive war in human history and presided over the worst genocide mankind has ever perpetrated, commits suicide in a bunker in Berlin.

Three days later, on May 2nd, 1945, the surrender of German Army Group C goes into effect, and the Gothic Line that had long since stymied the Allied advance in Italy finally collapses.

And on D+336, eleven months after landing on the beaches of France, Field Marshal Wilhelm Keitel would sign the German Instrument of Surrender, and the German Wehrmacht laid down its arms.

The Reich that Adolf Hitler had once boasted would last for a thousand years had fallen after just twelve.

The War in Europe was over.

Eleven months after he wrote it, the promise Eisenhower made to his men - the destruction of the German Army, the end of Nazi tyranny in Europe - had finally come true.

It had been five and a half long, blood-soaked years since the war in Europe began, but at long last, Europe was free. It would takes years, even decades, to rebuild from the destruction, but finally, there was a tomorrow to live for.

Eighty years on, we still grapple with their sacrifice, and the choices they made afterwards in the world they built. But because of them, we were given a tomorrow to argue in - and a tomorrow to live for. All because thousands from across the world stepped onto a small, windswept beach, and seared the name of Normandy into history.

[loiladadiani]

Photographs: 1 and 2: Nicholas II inspecting the four-engine biplane 'Russky Vityaz' (In 1912, the Imperial Russian Air Service, formerly part of the Engineer Corps, became a separate branch of the army. In 1913, Igor Sikorsky built the first 'Russky Vityaz'; ) Grand Duke Alexander (Sandro) Mikhailovich played a role in the moving and shaking needed for this to happen.

Photos 3 and 4: Also, in 1913, Igor Sikorsky built his famous bomber aircraft, the "Ilya Muromets," which appears in the two pictures above. In the photo directly above, Grand Duke Mikhail Alexandrovich is standing in front/center of the aircraft, wearing his cossack uniform. Sandro is the tall man next to last at the extreme left.

Photos 5 and 6: Sandro inspects the officers and hangars at the Officers Aviation School.

Photo 7. Sandro distributing diplomas at the Aviation School.

And in the picture directly above, Nicholas II wondering what Sandro will come up with next.

The Imperial Russian Airservice: The beginning of Military Aviation in Russia during WWI

“What next!?” Whenever I look at the picture directly above, I can "hear" Nicholas II thinking just that, with respect to his cousin and brother-in-law's interests, actions, and experiments.

Grand Duke Alexander (Sandro) Mikhailovich was a restless man of many talents and interests. Although he pursued a Naval career, his major contribution to his country and rank may be his role in the creation of the Russian Military Aviation School and the Imperial Russian Air Service.

Sandro had followed with interest the increasing sophistication of aircraft and their use for military purposes. And by 1910-1911, he was probably bored with Cannes, Biarritz, and growing seedless tangerines in the Crimea. The time was ripe for him to embark on a "project." Because of his proximity to the Tsar (he was his second cousin once removed as well as his brother-in-law, and one of the few Grand Dukes Alix got along with), he had access to the Tsar's ear (historians are still debating whether he used that access to the best advantage of his country or merely to his personal advantage.)

So Grand Duke Alexander Mikhailovich filled a need by helping create the Officer's Aviation School near Sevastopol in 1910 and later becoming the Imperial Russian Air Service chief during the First World War. Alexander held the Imperial Russian Air Service Field Inspector General position until the Bolsheviks relieved him from his duties.

At the beginning of World War I, the Imperial Russia Air Service had the largest air fleet in the world. It would be interesting to find out what happened.

[barbucomedie]

Officer's Sword from the Empire of Japan dated to 1945 on display at the National War Museum in Edinburgh Castle, Scotland

This sword was surrendered to Lieutenant Commander B. Whitcutt, Royal Naval Volunteer Reserve, by Captain Hiroshi, as part of the ceremony marking the surrender of Japanese forces in Burma, 1945. All Japanese officers in South East Asia were made to give up their swords to British officers of similar rank.

While the style of the sword fits with the 20th century Imperial Army style the blade was made in the "Shinto" period from the 17th century. This was common amongst families who had more historic blades and children who were officers in the Imperial Army. The older blades were fitted into more modern styles.

Photographs taken by myself 2023

[officalroyalsofpierreland]

HIH Crown Prince Louis set to attend the Pierreland Imperial Military Academy

An official statement from Palais de Royal Rouge states that His Imperial Highness Crown Prince Louis will attend the Pierreland Imperial Military Academy (PIMA), a four year university and Imperial Army Officer pipeline. The Palais states that the Imperial Family privately attended the traditional orientation of new cadets or plebs and wished the young prince the best as he begins a summer full of military drills.

PIMA Superintendent Major General Walker says that "We are honored to have HIH the Crown Prince as one of our new cadets. We have assured the Imperial family, fellow cadets and their families that HIH will have no special privileges and shall be treated like every other cadet. The only difference will be a heightened level of security on the campus."

Crown Prince Louis's decision to join PIMA is a break in monarchs attending the Pierreland Naval Academy with the last monarch to attend PIMA being Emperor Charles V in 1919, who attended PIMA while also carrying out monarchial duties.

[booksandchainmail]

re: your tags because I'm curious and google is only providing a history book about WW1 naval battles - what's castles of steel?

My apologies for this belated response, but here it is:

Castles of Steel (tagline: Lesbians Good, Imperialism Bad) is a quest hosted on SufficientVelocity. Set in alt-history Japan starting in the year 1909, it chronicles the adventures of Princess Arisukawa Haruna as she makes history as the first woman to join the imperial navy. Based on the fact I tagged it on a post about how war is never clean, you can get a sense of how that goes.

It's mostly concerned with sea battles, which do tend to be cleaner than land ones (the one land battle Haruna gets involved in, she's given a not-particularly good map, and the ground is torn up and communications are bad, so she winds up defending a hill that may or may not be the one she was assigned to). But the story is still very aware that this is a war being fought over and on colonial possessions, that neither side particularly cares about treatment of civilians, and that wartime pressure is sliding alt!Japan into facism.

To give an example of how bad it gets, early on Haruna fails a roll to convince a superior officer that trotting out an imperial princess for a PR shoot in an unhappy occupied city is a bad idea, and when this predictably sparks a riot, well, when all you have is a troop of soldiers, everything looks like a combat scenario. The option the thread picked was Fix Bayonets (as opposed to just opening fire), but still:

Once the first blood was drawn, once the screaming started, order broke down almost completely. To the men on either side of the incident, it looked like their formation had been breached, that a brawl had broken out. You tried to call a halt, but nobody could hear you. A cobblestone struck a soldier, and the one next to him thrust his rifle forward to cover the gap, catching a man through the gut with his blade. His comrades reversed their weapons as well, convinced the fighting had turned deadly, and simply pressed into the crowd blades-first. The screaming got louder as people tried to scramble away and others fell to the ground to be trampled in the panic. It worked. They were moving, now. The trucks were almost in reach. You stepped over a body as you moved, a student holding a sign in a death grip. You realized he wasn't dead yet when his hand closed on your boot. You managed not to shriek in surprise and hurriedly tried to shake him off only to stumble over another body on the cobbles. A woman clutching her belly and groaning as she tried to staunch the blood pooling on the cobblestones around her. The blood that was staining the pretty dress in Akitsukuni white and blue that she wore. She looked up at you for a moment, and you wondered what she thought of you.

and afterwards:

You remembered when you had finally gotten into the Army outpost and you had gone to the washroom, there had been blood on your boots. You'd been sick there, alone, where no one could see your weakness. This wasn't what it was supposed to be like. You were supposed to stand on the bridge of a steel castle and exchange blows with an equal opponent seeking to do harm to your nation, not tell scared young men to stab angry students.

And then there pretty much aren't consequences for this, she gets comforted for being in such a scary situation and praised for how she handled it, the whole incident gets blown over because no one really cares about the deaths of protestors in an occupied city. She just has to keep

This story is a companion to an earlier one called Aircraft Design Company, which is maybe the purest example of "Peace Activist Has To Admit Barrett .50 Caliber Sniper Rifle Is Pretty Cool" I've read. The story was initially started to playtest the author's TTRPG system for early aviation design, then grew a plot that goes increasingly into "war is hell". The protagonist's boyfriend is a pilot who becomes a flying ace over the course of the story, and we get periodic interludes from his perspective as things get bloodier in the air and on the ground, as the other soldiers around him get more desperate and dangerous to the civilian "servants" of their occupied territory, and as he develops PTSD.

There's one great scene where he gets into a dogfight, and is just utterly done with violence and killing, and so he non-fatally shoots out the other guy's engine, and then signals frantically to him to surrender and land. And there's a moment of tension, and then the other pilot agrees, and it's this rare uplifting moment of camaraderie of the skies, even on opposing sides. And then the other pilot lands and promptly gets shot by Japanese ground forces who don't notice or care that he's trying to surrender.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, at one point the protagonist gets a letter back from him reading:

This war has eroded everything I have. I'm a machine no different from the ones you build for me. I wake up in the early morning and sit on a chair behind the lines with binoculars until nightfall. When I see an enemy machine, I climb into my Dragonfly and go to kill him.​ They don't make me fly regular missions anymore. I am just a killer now, an assassin. I fly five, six times a day sometimes.​ ​ It is hard for me to say this, but I have come to resent you, and to resent the weapons you have built me. I have come to hate how easy it is to line my guns up on an aircraft. How easy it is to kill the stupid young boys they send against me. I hate how the Dragonfly will nimbly pull me from the enemy's sights and keep me flying another day.​ ​ I have found myself thinking I would rather have died quickly, six months ago.​

and then it's time for another vote on aircraft mechanics!

[empiredesimparte]

Napoléon V: I would like very much that you accompany me... to the Naval School Laura: It would be a great honor Louis

Napoléon V: Perfect! We'll have a lot of fun, I can't wait to travel with you Laura: Won't that interfere with your role as Emperor? I'm curious Napoléon V: Don't worry about it

Napoléon V: Besides… once we are officers, I would like to ennoble you, if you agree Laura (stunned): To ennoble me?

Napoléon V: Wouldn't you like that? Laura: I have to think about it, I would never have imagined. I'm not sure I'm worthy

Napoléon V: What do you mean? The army is one of the ways to obtain imperial nobility Laura: I mean, I'm not from the same world, from your world

Napoléon V: It has nothing to do with blood. All the Napoléons gave nobility to merit, and I'm sure that you are worthy of it Laura: Are you sure? I wouldn't want people to think that it's our friendship that has brought me all the honors, that I don't deserve them

Napoléon V: Our friendship is a fact. But I wouldn't propose it to a doubtful friend. I propose it because it's you, Laura. Because you have my esteem, I admire your path. I'm not forcing you, think about it calmly Laura (touched by his words): Thank you, Louis. I'll do it

⚜ Le Cabinet Noir | Parc de Compiègne, 16 Floréal An 230

Beginning ▬ Previous ▬ Next

⚜ Traduction française

Napoléon V : J'aimerais beaucoup que tu m'accompagnes, à l'Ecole Navale Charlotte : Ce serait un grand honneur Louis

Napoléon V : Parfait ! On va beaucoup s'amuser, j'ai hâte de voyager à tes côtés Laura : Cela ne va pas empiéter sur ton rôle d'Empereur ? Napoléon V : Nulle inquiétude à ce sujet

Napoléon V : D'ailleurs... une fois que nous serons officiers, j'aimerais t'anoblir, si tu es d'accord Laura (abasourdie) : M'anoblir ?

Napoléon V : Cela ne te plairait pas ? Laura : Je dois y réfléchir, je n'aurais jamais imaginé. Je ne suis pas sûre d'en être digne

Napoléon V : Comment cela ? L'armée est l'un des moyens d'obtenir la noblesse impériale Laura : Je veux dire, je ne suis pas du même monde, de votre monde

Napoléon V : Cela n'a rien à voir avec le sang. Tous les Napoléon accordaient au mérite la noblesse, et je suis persuadé que tu en es digne Laura : En es-tu sûr ?

Laura : Je ne voudrais pas que l'on pense que c'est notre amitié qui m'a attiré tous les honneurs, que je ne les mérite pas

Napoléon V : Notre amitié est un fait. Mais je ne le proposerais pas à un ami douteux. Je le propose parce que c'est toi, Laura. Parce que tu as mon estime, j'admire ton parcours. Je ne te force pas, réfléchis y posément Laura (touchée par ses mots) : Merci, Louis. Je le ferai

[palacesims]

Government

Österreich is an absolute monarchy where the monarch is seen as head of stately affairs, the sovereign can create any law they see fit and are entitled to any resources available to the state. However no one can rule alone and rulers of Österreich rule along side a Privy Council.

(Nobles Depicted left to right)

Dean, Marquess of Meckonberg, Fredrich, Viscount of Hahn, Angelina, Duchess of Bellon, Princess Casidora, Duchess of Nisten, Prince Giovani, Marquess of Hessel, Adalbert, Baron of Bassewitz.

The Privy Council

The council was a collection of the most powerful and influential nobles in Österreich, each focus on an important part of the government. the privy council dates back to the reign of King Ludwig, he created it in hopes that it would easy the burden of being ruler. Council members can be removed at the sovereign's discretion and each position can be removed or added on to if needed.

Council Positions

Lord Agriculture

The Lord Agriculture oversees; trade, agriculture and dispersal of goods. The Lord Agriculture might work with the Grand Lord Treasurer to ensure Österreich has the funds needed for imports and keeps up with the demand of exports. The Lord Agriculture can shut down any company and claim the assets, they are the most influential person in business. To ensure the Lord Agriculture does not abuse their power they must bring any action besides royal decrees to the merchants guild. The merchants guild is currently one of the only places in the government where non nobles can effect politics and represents the peasants needs. Comprised of 15 people members of the merchants guild are voted in by the major companies in the Kingdom, members of the merchants guild are entitled to user the title Sir/Dame during their time elected. There is no term restrictions but the Lord Agriculture can request that a member be removed due to health reasons.

The current Lord Agriculture is the Marquess of Meckonburg

Lady Governor

The Lord Governor oversees Österreich while the monarch is away, though they do not represent the Monarch. The title was created by Emperor Leopold Ⅱ so he could spend his time at his Imperial court in Palidos, the future of the rank is unclear as Österreich lost the colony. Currently the first and only Lady Governor Princess Casidora, Duchess of Nisten, acts like an advisor to Queen Alexandra.

The current Lady Governor is the Duchess of Nisten

Lord High Admiral of the fleet

The Lord High Admiral of the fleet is the highest ranking Naval officer in Österreich, They work with the Lord Agriculture, organizing protection of exports on the see. The previous LHAOTF was fired due to their inability to get warships to Palidos in time, that distrust made it so the sovereign may take control of any ship under the Österreichian flag.

The Current Lord High Admiral of the fleet is the Viscount of Hahn

Grand Lord Justice

The Grand Lord Justice is the highest ranking Judge in Österreich. They used to just execute the will of the sovereign, but after the succession question the rebellion made the Grand Lord Justice, along with the Lady Governor pass a law giving the privy council power to refuse to pass a law with a majority vote and pardon with approval from the sovereign. Th Grand Lord Justice is head of both the court of lords and the court of plebs and is in charge of the Judicial branch.

The current Grand Lord Justice is the Duchess of Bellon

Grand Lord Treasurer

The Grand Lord Treasurer oversees Österreichian riches, they ensure funds are going where they are needed and make sure there is no shortage of Simoleans. They work with the ministers of finance.

The current Grand Lord Treasurer is the Baron of Bassewitz

Lord High Marshal

The Lord High Marshal is the highest ranking offical in the Österreich Army, the Lord High Marshal is in charge of recruitment and training or the army in times of peace. During times of war they inform the sovereign on how the war is going and meets with generals after important battles.

The current Grand Lord Treasurer is the Marquess of Hessel

[kamaandhallie]

The Dark Lord and the Savior: Chapter 3

Wander Over Yonder x Star Wars x Dune crossover fanfic

Chapter 3: The Rock and the Hard Place

“WHAT?!?” Hater yelled from within the Skullship.

The Skullship rested in the middle of space in front of a blazing star, giving an imposing look to whoever looked at it from the front. Inside it, Hater was in the control room along with an army of Watchdogs behind him, standing in front of the giant screen, and front of it was Commander Peepers with his back facing the screen. Hater was furious after receiving some shocking news from Peepers.

“What do you mean Vader’s now on the Galactic Villain Leaderboard?!” Hater asked furiously.

“Not just that, sir, but he’s also went up the ranks very high very quickly.” Peepers said as he pressed a button on the remote he held which made the screen present the Leaderboard.

On it, they could see amongst the villains in the ranks was Vader, who just moved from third place to second place as more planets kept appearing on his planet count, now he was just behind Sourdough the Evil Sandwich. On the other hand, Hater’s planets disappeared with every planet Vader gains along with other villains, and Hater’s position just dropped from ninth place to tenth place.

“It doesn’t seem long before Vader claims the number one spot.” Peepers continued.

“Grrrggghh! That jerk keeps stealing all the planets I’ve rightfully conquered! This isn’t fair! How is he conquering all these planets so fast?!”

“Well, sir, it seems that Star Destroyer ship that we saw him with wasn’t the only one. Our scouts have discovered that Vader apparently has an entire armada with him.” Peepers explained as he pressed a button on the remote, and the screen now showed a recording of hundreds of Star Destroyers flying through space.

“And they’re all led by this gigantic Super Star Destroyer.” Peepers continued as the camera on the screen now shifted towards a different-looking Star Destroyer.

This Star Destroyer was far larger than the one's Hater and Peepers came across, as it was at least twenty times larger than a regular Star Destroyer was. If a regular Star Destroyer already made Dominator’s ship look like small fry, then the Super one made all the others look like baby fish swimming around their mother. It was safe to assume that a Super Star Destroyer could easily destroy a planet simply by driving into, no need for weapons of any kind. It was pretty terrifying to look at.

“It seems he’s really preparing for a full-scale invasion of this galaxy, sir,” Peepers said.

“He’s cheating!” Hater yelled. “He has a hundred ships helping him invade planets! That’s why he can do it so fast! We only have our one ship! It’s so not fair!”

“Sir, following basic conquering rules isn’t exactly cheating,” Peepers said, tired of his boss’s antics.

“Shut up, Peepers! I know that!” Hater retorted pathetically, only causing Peepers to sigh in frustration. Suddenly, the screen went static, and Peepers realized what it meant. “Wait…sir! There’s a transmission incoming!”

“What? A transmission? From who?” Hater asked before the screen cleared up and his question was answered.

The screen cleared up, now showing a smug-looking middle-aged man in an olive grey uniform and cap with a pin of blue and red squares above his left breast. It was one of Vader’s imperial officers.

“Lord Hater.” The officer said.

“Who the flarp are you?” Hater asked in a tone suggesting confrontation.

“I am Admiral Dramar, commander of Lord Vader’s naval fleet in this system.” He answered.

“What?! Then where’s Vader?! I ruined his invasion and blasted him out of space! Does he still not think I’m a worthy enemy?!” Hater kept yelling.

“You think that just because of the little stunt you pulled on Goolopia, Lord Vader’s going to give you the time of day? Well, sorry to disappoint you, Lord Hater, but Lord Vader has decided he has more important things to set his mind on than you. So from now on, you’ll be dealing with me.” Dramar said, still having that smug look on him.

“‘More important things’?! What could be more important than me?! The guy who beat him?!” Hater continued his petty shouting, which was beginning to frustrate Peepers and everyone else unfortunate enough to be listening to him.

“There’s another foreign invading threat. One that could be a nuisance or threat to our conquest.” Dramar answered, though it oddly seemed like he was answering to himself than to Hater, judging by the way he looked off into the distance for a second.

“Another invading threat? Who?” Peepers asked this time.

“Never mind that! That doesn’t concern you! All you need to know is that Vader’s not dealing with any of you and that I shall be the one you’re going to deal with from now on.”

“Oh, I see what’s going on here, Peepers. Vader does know that I’m a much better bad guy than him, and now he’s too scared to face me himself! Well, you can tell Vader that I didn’t want to speak to him anyway. Also, I found out he works for someone else which makes him totally lame.” Hater said, first to Peepers then to Dramar. Hater’s last statement seemed to offend Peepers.

“Sir, he singlehandedly defeated the entire Goolopian army and managed to face off against your lightning powers. I don’t think he’s someone who’d be scared so easily,” Peepers said.

“Listen to your obviously more intelligent subordinate, Lord Hater. He knows what he’s talking about. And also, I have one more thing to say.” The Admiral said.

“And what’s that?” Hater asked.

“I have been tasked with hunting down anything and anyone that might pose a threat towards our invasion of this galaxy. We’ve already got a rebellion problem in our own galaxy, we don’t need another one in yours. And unfortunately for you, you technically count as one.” Dramar explained.

“I do?”

“Yes. This transmission is spread out to cover the entire system, and since you received our transmission, that means you are not too far out of reach, Lord Hater. So it shouldn’t be too long before I find you and hunt you down.”

“Uh oh…”

“See you in a bit, Lord Hater. I’d watch my back if I were you.” Dramar chuckled as he ended the transmission and the screen turned black.

“Gropdarn it, Peepers! First Vader steals my planets, now he’s sending his minions to hunt me down!” Hater angrily evaluated his situation. Hater then picked up Peepers and shook him violently. “What’re we gonna do now, Peepers?!”

“Don’t worry, sir. There might still be a chance to defeat Admiral Dramar. Look!” Peepers said as he picked up the remote and turned on the screen again, showing the Villain Leaderboard.

“According to the list of planets conquered by Darth Vader, his fleet hasn’t yet conquered every planet in this system! If we can manage to conquer all the rest of those planets before Dramar finds us, we should be able to get an upper hand on him! We’ll let him track us down, and we’ll lure him into a trap using all the planets we conquered, and once he’s defeated, we’ll be able to take over this entire system!” Peepers explained.

Hater gasped in excitement. “Peepers, you’re right! If we can conquer this system quick enough and beat Admiral Dramar at his own game, I will finally get Vader to notice me!”

“And take over this whole system, sir?” Peepers asked.

“Huh? Oh yeah, and take over this system.” Hater quickly added. “Soon, we’ll knock Vader completely off the Villainboard, and I’ll prove to him that I am…the greatest in the galaxy!” Hater proclaimed as lightning flashed around him.

Later on, Hater and Peepers managed to conquer several of the remaining planets in the system in a surprisingly quick time. Five planets may not be a lot, but Peepers felt that it should be enough to prepare a fighting chance against Admiral Dramar. On the other end of the system, Dramar has successfully tracked down the Skullship from the recent invasion activity happening to the planets within the system, and he watches the vastness of space with a determined grin through the window from within the command bridge of his Star Destroyer.

Hater and Peepers were on a roll, conquering many planets in a short period, and now they were close to conquering half the system, as Dramar and Vader have already taken control of the other half. So far, there has been no sign of Dramar and his Star Destroyer fleet, which means he’s still trying to pinpoint their exact location, and that was good news for Hater and Peepers as that means they’re quicker than Dramar was and they’ll be able to conquer half of the system and get the upper hand on the admiral in no time. Though they still had to keep their eyes (or in Peepers’ case, eye) open, as there’s no telling when Dramar will pop up, and just how many forces he’ll bring with him to take Hater down. But for now, they enjoyed their triumphant moment of conquering.

“Yeah, Peepers! We are kicking Dramar’s butt right now!” Hater proclaimed victoriously with his fists pumping in the air.

“Not yet, sir. But once we lure Dramar and his forces into our territories and take him down, all of his planets in this system will be totally defenseless, and this entire system will be ours! There’s just one more unconquered planet in this system to take care of, the outer planet on the outer edge of this system!” Peepers said.

“Well, what are we waiting for?! Let’s conquer that planet already!” Hater declared as the Skullship’s jets roared with flames and the ship sped through the void of space.

The Skullship headed towards the outer planet of the system. It was a fairly isolated world, small in size, and not that advanced. It was mostly brown in color, and half of the planet’s surface was covered by marketplaces and small hut houses, all of them wooden-based, and the marketplace was covered with tarps and fabrics of all kinds to form roofs and shelter for the market; while the other half of the planet was covered in a forest. It’s not a planet that had many weapons or means to defend itself, so conquering it should be a total breeze for Hater and Peepers…or so they thought.

As the Skullship approached the planet, Hater and Peepers suddenly stopped it dead in its tracks when they noticed something strange above the planet. Hovering above the small brown planet was an unbelievably gigantic tube-shaped spaceship, so large it could practically not only fit the entire planet inside it but could fit an entire system’s worth of planets. The spaceship seemed to be around the size of Vader’s Super Star Destroyer, if not slightly larger, and it certainly could fit at least a dozen of regular Star Destroyers inside it.

“What is that?! Has Vader taken over a planet before me again?!” Hater asked Peepers with anger.

“I don’t think so, sir. That doesn’t look like one of Vader’s ships.” Peepers said, observing the gigantic ship closely from the window of the Skullship. Peepers gasped when an idea clicked in his head (or eye). “Sir! Remember that Dramar said there was another foreign invading threat? What if this is it?”

“Grop, I hope not. I already have to deal with Vader ruining everything, I don’t need another villain trying to complicate things too. But if it is, then I can use this chance to show these newcomers the power of…Lord Hater! And that we are not to be messed with! Because this galaxy is mine to conquer, and mine alone!” Hater declared, seething with power and confidence. “So let’s go down there and show these tourists who’s boss!”

“Wait, sir! Not yet. I think we should observe what’s going on with these guys first, gather information on them, see what they’re doing and what they’re like.” Peepers said, stopping Hater from giving the command to attack.

“Ugh! But Peepers, that’s so boring! I wanna go down there and be all like…raaagghhh! Scary bad guy stuff! Lightning powers on them! And show them what a real bad guy’s capable of!” Hater whined.

“Don’t worry, you will, sir. But I think we first need to know what it is we’re up against.”

Hater seemed to be struggling holding back more complaints he wanted to say, but eventually agreed. “Fine, we’ll do that first,” Hater said with crossed arms, his tone filled with disappointment.

The Skullship then descended quietly to the planet, landing on the forest side of the world, hiding from the sight of the humongous tube-shaped spaceship. As soon as the spaceship landed on a hill in the middle of the forest, Hater and Peepers ran out the mouth of the Skullship, wearing trench coats and sunglasses to go undercover with the crowd of the planet. As Hater and Peepers approached the marketplace and town, they could see three large spaceships in the middle of the marketplace, so large they were practically crushing it. They could see the crowd of aliens with big black eyes, some with short or tall and slim bodies, and a lot of them wearing brown robes, all gathering around the three gigantic spaceships, but they also saw several of them running away from them. As Hater and Peepers approached closer, they could see beyond the crowd an army of robed armored masked warriors with dark blue-on-blue eyes, wielding pistols of many shapes and sizes, and they were storming through the marketplace, ruining many stores and attacking those that protested and went against them. The only one of the warriors who weren’t masked and hooded, who seemed to be their commander, didn’t attack anyone but instead spent the entire time preaching some sort of propaganda for their true leader.

“The messages of Muad’Dib shall enter your hearts! Muad’Dib is the way! He shall deliver all from evil and wrongdoing! All the heretics who oppose him and his message shall be met with death and destruction!” the commander declared loudly for all to hear as his troops continued messing the place up and harassing frightened citizens.

Behind the commander, in the center of the marketplace, they could see a large group of warriors planting banners, the banners were green and black with a red hawk insignia, so that confirmed once and for all these guys weren’t on Vader’s side. Another group was raising a statue, and once the statue was placed properly, they could see the figure it represented. The statue was of a bearded wavy-haired man, wearing the same armor and cape that the warriors did, and he had an arm raised high with a knife in its grasp. This was, without a doubt, their leader, Muad’Dib. Below the statue, on the column it was placed on, was written Paul Muad’Dib, the Mahdi, Padishah Emperor of the Known Universe.

“Sir, it looks like we’re right! This could be the threat Admiral Dramar was talking about! They look pretty similar to Vader and his henchmen, but these are clearly not the same guys. It seems our worries are true, sir. There’s another major invading threat besides Vader trying to conquer the galaxy.” Peepers whispered to Hater as they hid behind one of the stands of the market.

Hater groaned in frustration at first upon hearing how much competition he was gonna have. “‘Emperor of the Known Universe’?! He can’t be emperor of the universe! I’m supposed to be the one who’ll rule over the universe! He doesn’t even look like someone who can conquer the universe! He looks like some…hero! This isn’t fair!” Hater whined again, which Peepers was not enjoying listening to for one second.

But then he suddenly brightened up as an idea popped into his head. “Wait a minute, Peepers! This could be a good thing! This Emperor Paul guy doesn’t look that strong! So if I can manage to defeat not one, but two foreign invading superpowers, not only will the galaxy learn to fear me again, but all other galaxies…no, the entire universe, will know once and for all that Lord Hater is the greatest in all the universe!” Hater declared epically, yet somehow not heard by anyone nearby. “All we gotta do is try to destroy them once and for all! It’s nothing a little…rraaaaggghhh!!!...can’t fix!” Hater roared evilly with lightning around him, again somehow not attracting anyone’s attention.

“Not yet, sir! Vader and whoever this Muad’Dib guy is, obviously have a lot of forces backing them up. I don’t think they’ll make it easy for us to reach them. We have to first figure out how they function, where they strike, how they conquer, where their bases of operations are, and what their weaknesses are. If this Muad’Dib really is that big of a threat to get Vader’s attention, we should approach him carefully, sir, we don’t know how dangerous he is. But infiltrating them shouldn’t be too hard, Vader is such a big threat that he doesn’t even think you’re worth his attention!” Peepers said with enthusiasm.

“Thanks for reminding me, Peepers,” Hater said in an annoyed tone.

“No, sir, this is a good thing! If Vader doesn’t think you’re worth his attention, then he wouldn’t be paying attention to us at all! And if this Muad’Dib really is as big of a threat as he sounds, then he’d have the same attitude to you as Vader does! That means we can slip by them unnoticed and they wouldn’t even think about considering us, so when they least expect it, we strike them where it hurts and bring down both invading superpowers, and the galaxy will be ours for the taking!” Peepers continued.

“By grop, Peepers, you’re right! Yeah, let’s just make these two losers think I’m not worth their time! I can’t wait to see the look on their stupid faces when they realize that they’ve been Hated! Soon, the entire universe won’t mess with and will know the name of…Lord Hater!” Hater declared again and laughed evilly.

They then heard another announcement from the commander from beyond the crowd. “If you accept the messages and teachings of Muad’Dib, you shall be granted peace and security forever! Muad’Dib swears to bring peace and safety to this galaxy! And we shall start by eliminating every warlord and conqueror! Darth Vader, Emperor Awesome, Lord Hater, they shall all be met with death and destruction! No trace of any tyrant and invader shall be left on this galaxy!” the commander declared with a mix of pride, ambition, and fury, as he raised his fist in the air like he was doing a salute. All the inhabitants that remained and still bothered to listen stopped being afraid and started muttering in agreement with each other. Some even started cheering, as if they immediately forgot these troops just harassed their fellow citizens and ruined their market.

Hater and Peepers just stared with wide eyes after hearing that, they knew they were gonna get some new competition, but they didn’t expect their new competition to be out for their blood this much.

“I guess I spoke too soon.” Peepers muttered to himself. “Sir, maybe we should just get back to the ship and observe from a safer distance? These guys seem pretty dangerous.” Peepers whispered to his boss with a very worried tone.

“Pfft! C’mon, Peepers. These guys are probably just all talk, they won’t be too big of a problem.” Hater brushed off Peepers’ concern, although Peepers couldn’t tell if Hater was genuinely confident in being safe or if he was just trying to hide the fact he was also getting scared.

“You two there! Who are you?!” a voice shouted. They realized it was the commander’s voice, and he was looking and pointing right in their direction. Hater and Peepers realized only now that they poked their heads out the corner way too far and too long.

A dozen of the hooded soldiers now approached in their direction, surrounding the stand they were hiding at, all pointing their guns at them. Now everyone in the marketplace had their eyes fixed on them. Hater and Peepers looked around and then at each other nervously, not entirely sure what to do right now.

“Why were you hiding? Who are you two? You look strangely familiar.” The commander said as he approached them.

The two of them quickly got up on their feet, frantically thinking of what to say. Hater was the first to speak, and he put on a painfully exaggerated high-pitched voice that was not convincing in the slightest. “Oh, us? I’m, uh…Lord Schmater, and this is Peep-Peeps. We’re just here to buy some, uh…fruit!” Hater said nervously as he quickly took a piece of fruit from a nearby stand. “Yeah! We wanna buy some fruit to take back to the…place we came from!” Hater smiled awkwardly when he finishes his half-baked answer.

The commander just stared at Hater with an unamused look. Suddenly, he and a soldier beside him swung pearl-white knives upward so quickly that Hater barely noticed the knife passing in front of his face. Hater and Peepers’ sunglasses, hat, and trench coat then split in two, falling off their bodies and revealing the persons beneath.

“It’s Lord Hater!” the commander shouted, and all the inhabitants gasped.

Hater and Peepers now had dozens of pearl-white knives pointed at them, the soldiers preparing to strike at any moment. “No, no! I’m just Lord Schmater! Nothing to see here!” Hater still tried putting on the fake voice despite already being revealed.

“Muad’Dib swore to bring peace and safety to this galaxy by eliminating every warlord and evildoer in it, and you are one of them! Kill them!” the commander shouted.

“RUN!!!” Hater and Peepers yelled to each other in unison as they bolted away from the scene in the blink of an eye, knocking away two soldiers in the process.

“After them!” they heard the commander order his troops.

Hater and Peepers ran at full speed through the marketplace, but now they could see troops of hooded soldiers running after them, all with knives and guns in hand. As a couple of soldiers lunged toward them, they both made a sudden turn to a different path, leaving the two lunging soldiers to crash into whatever was in front of them. As they ran through the street, Hater attempted to block the troops’ path by grabbing some nearby carts they passed and placing them in the middle of the road, which, expectedly, did nothing, as the hooded masked blue-eyed soldiers jumped over or completely demolished any obstacle in their way. They were completely relentless. The troopers chased Hater and Peepers all around the marketplace, Hater and Peepers hid in all sorts of places from stands to baskets to avoid the oncoming soldiers, but always end up getting chased by another troop of incoming soldiers. They even quickly managed to disguise themselves in dresses, pretending to be two giggling women, and pointed the soldiers in a different direction which they followed, but they took off their disguises too quickly because one of the soldiers saw them and the chase continued.

They finally reached the forest, but the Skullship was still a length away. They could see darts flying past them, when they looked back, it turned out they were being fired from small guns held by several of the soldiers. One of the soldiers then pulled out a different-looking gun, and when he fired it, instead of firing darts like the other ones, this one fired a long, continuous, purple laser beam. The first firing was aimed at Hater and Peepers, who dodged, ducked, and jumped over the laser, as it kept moving back towards them. The second firing was then aimed above them, and they saw the soldier use the laser to slice the tall trees ahead of them, which then came crashing down, but Hater and Peepers luckily managed to be quick enough to avoid the falling trees, but the soldiers still kept pursuing. The soldiers then pulled out what appeared to be grappling hooks, some of the soldiers swung them to the trees and pulled themselves up, disappearing into the foliage, while the ones still on the ground prepared to swing them toward Hater and Peepers. They swung the grappling hooks toward them, and while Hater dodged the oncoming hooks, but still got caught as the rope was swung and wrapped around him. Luckily for Hater, before the soldier could pull Hater towards him, Peepers blasted him with his blaster which he only now pulled out.

“Peepers, why didn’t you use that before?!” Hater asked angrily.

“Sorry, sir. Didn’t think about it ‘till now.” Peepers answered as he helped free Hater from the grappling hook ropes and then continued their running.

As Hater and Peepers ran, Peepers tried to blast the soldiers behind them. The soldiers surprisingly managed to dodge most of his blasts, they were clearly great warriors, but Peepers did luckily manage to blast two of them. They then heard noises from the foliage above them, and they remembered that some of the soldiers have climbed the trees. One by one, hooded soldiers jumped down from the trees, lunging toward them, but fortunately for Hater and Peepers, this only made them easier to blast away. With every soldier that jumped down, Peepers blasted them away with his blaster, and Hater with his lightning powers, all with relative ease.

The Skullship was now in sight, and Hater and Peepers were nearly at their destination, but the soldiers were still pursuing close behind. They successfully got aboard the ship and immediately took off, but the soldiers weren’t gonna give up that easily. Several of the hooded masked soldiers swung their grappling hooks at the Skullship before it got high enough and they managed to hang on to it, and they were carried away along with it. The warriors that managed to hook onto the Skullship started scaling in, making their way to the easiest entry points, the window eyes of the ship. Hater and Peepers saw one of them make it to one of the windows, the soldier and his hook managing to grab onto the ship despite the high speed it was moving upwards. The soldier then unsheathed his knife and stabbed it into the window, the blade managing to penetrate to the other side of the glass and creating a massive crack, which made Hater and Peepers momentarily fear for their lives. Peepers had to say, while these soldiers may not always rely on advanced weaponry, they made up for it in their resilience, relentlessness, and unwillingness to give up, barely anything seemed to be enough to faze them away from their set goal, and they were ridiculously hard to get rid of. Peepers thought of an easy solution quickly, simply pressing one of the buttons on the control panel, and the windshield wipers started smacking and wiping the soldier on the window. It took a moment, but after a few wipes, the soldier was finally pushed off the window and the Skullship, falling to the ground below. Suddenly, multiple soldiers jumped onto both windows this time, which was enough to make Hater and Peepers scream and panic for a moment. But Peepers thought quickly again and pressed another button on the control panel, which made the mouth of the Skullship open up and the tongue rolls out and smack the ship’s face where all the soldiers were, and all of them that were stuck to the tongue was thrown off by said tongue, and all the soldiers fell through the air. Hater and Peepers didn’t know if any of the soldiers survived, but it wasn’t like they’d care in the first place, anyway.

Hater and Peepers celebrated victoriously at their escape, and the Watchdogs in the room all cheered for them. “We did it, sir!” Peepers exclaimed happily.

“Yeah, nobody messes with Lord Hater!” Hater mocked his nonexistent enemies, his attitude full of smugness.

Now all they needed to do was leave the planet, which they’d have to try and go around the enormous tube-shaped spaceship above them, which was so huge it was blocking half of the sky, and it was only half due to the distance the ship had between itself and the planet. Now that Hater thought about it, it explained why the planet felt so dark. But just as the Skullship was about to leave the planet’s atmosphere, they realize their troubles were only just beginning.

Above them, in space just beyond the planet’s atmosphere, the gigantic miles-long spaceship was fading away, which confused Hater and Peepers, until they saw why. As the giant elongated tube spaceship disappeared into thin air, they saw behind where the ship was, another spaceship that just emerged from hyperspace, a ship that was small fry compared to the previous one, but still big enough to destroy half the planet simply by driving into it. It was a Star Destroyer, and it was heading right for them. But they knew this wasn’t just any Star Destroyer, it was Admiral Dramar’s.

From within the command bridge of the Star Destroyer, Admiral Dramar grinned victoriously as he stared at the small brown and green planet in front of him. “Found you.” He said sinisterly.

“Oh, grop.” Hater and Peeper murmured in fear from within the Skullship. They had intended to lure Dramar to one of their planets, but he chose to show up at the worst possible moment for them.

The Skullship immediately turned back to the planet as the Star Destroyer began deploying hundreds of TIE Fighters to chase after them. Green laser blasts flew all around the Skullship as they flew at high speed toward the planet’s surface. But as the ship approached the forest floor, they found an entire platoon of hooded soldiers waiting for them, all with grappling hooks in hand. Hater, in a panic, immediately pulled the Skullship up again, but some of the soldiers’ grappling hooks managed to hook onto the Skullship, and they were all pulled along with it. The Skullship flew quickly away from the scene, but the hooded warriors were still being dragged with the ship and were now climbing the ropes. To make matters worse, in the direction the Skullship was flying, several TIE Fighters were heading right in their direction, blasting at them. This time, Hater decided to do some quick thinking of his own, as he spun the Skullship around, the soldiers on their ropes being spun along with it, and he slammed the soldiers into the oncoming TIE Fighters, and they all crashed together and fell to the ground. Hater used this opportunity to try to hide the Skullship in the forest where no one will find it before more TIE Fighters arrive.

It has been a while since the Skullship disappeared. The sky was now riddled with TIE Fighters flying around, and the forest was crawling with the hooded soldiers, all of which are looking for Hater’s ship, but so far have been unsuccessful. Somewhere in the forest, the Skullship peeked out from the heavy bushes and foliage of the forest, looking out for danger, and then ducked back into the bushes when it saw some TIE Fighters flying past the trees above.

“Oh grop, Peepers! We’re completely surrounded! What are we gonna do?! There’s nowhere to go!” Hater exclaimed in a panic.

“I’m not sure yet, sir! We’re caught between a rock and a hard place right now! One wrong move and we’ll all be destroyed!” Peepers said, just as worried as Hater was.

They peeked out the window again, and they could see the faded form of the Star Destroyer in the sky, its massive form taking up a lot of the sky. The bottom of the Star Destroyer opened up again, and they could now see an entire armada of shuttle spaceships coming out of it, descending to the planet.

“Oh no, it seems Admiral Dramar is pulling out all his forces down to the planet to look for us! And with Muad’Dib’s soldiers looking for us too, we’ll be doomed for sure.” Peepers said as he sat down on the floor, having lost all hope. But then an idea popped into his head, and his spirits were lifted again. “Wait a minute! Maybe not! This could be our best opportunity!”

“Why? What are you thinking, Peepers?” Hater asked. He couldn’t see how there’d be an opportunity at all in the situation they were in.

“It’ll sound pretty crazy, sir. But you’re gonna have to trust me. I know this plan will work, and we’ll be able to beat both of them!” Peepers said, absolutely confident in himself.

“And what exactly are we gonna have to do that’s so crazy? C’mon, Peepers. I can handle anything crazy.” Hater said smugly.

“You’re gonna have to do exactly what Wander does to foil your plans.”

Hater’s smile dropped immediately and his eyes went wide. “Oh, no…”

Out in the forest, hundreds of stormtroopers searched the forest, with groups of scout troopers patrolling ahead and riding on their speeder bikes, troop transport vehicles drove around preparing to unleash the stormtroopers inside the moment they find their target, they even brought with them five AT-ST Walkers for good measure. Atop one of the hover tanks, Commander Dannin watched the forest through his binoculars for any sign of Hater and his ship. A hologram transmission from the admiral then came in.

“Have you found any sign of him?” Admiral Dramar’s hologram transmission asked, his body the size of an action figure.

“Not yet, Admiral. But the planet is small, and the forest is even more so. It shouldn’t take long before Lord Hater is found.” Commander Dannin answered.

“Good, find them quickly. This planet is crawling with Emperor Muad’Dib’s Fedaykin forces, and that’ll complicate things greatly. I want you to find him first! I do not want that blue-eyed hero-wannabe of an emperor to have the pleasure of eliminating all the conquerors of this galaxy first! When I rid this galaxy of Lord Hater and all his kind, helping the Empire conquer this galaxy, my name will go down in history! Do not disappoint me, Commander!” Dramar said.

“Yes, Admiral,” Dannin answered as Dramar’s hologram faded away, and he continued looking through his binoculars.

Suddenly, out of the forest in front of the troops, Lord Hater jumped out of the foliage, plain as day, with no disguise, no weapons, not even an army behind him. What confused them most of all was that Hater was doing some stupid goofy dance. For what reason? They don’t know.

“Hey, everyone! It’s me, Lord Hater! You know me, I conquer the galaxy, ride a skull-shaped ship, and sometimes I make this face!” Hater said as he made a goofy expression.

“Sir, what is he doing?” a stormtrooper asked Dannin.

“How should I know, Lieutenant?” Dannin answered.

“Hey, check this out!” Hater shouted before he blasted one of the scout troopers off his speeder bike and got on it himself. “Betcha can’t catch me!” Hater taunted as he sped away on the bike.

“After him!” Dannin shouted, and all the troops and transports started running after Hater, the scout troopers going ahead first.

Hater sped through the forest on his bike, heading in the direction of the marketplace. Behind him, two scout troopers pursued, attempting to shoot him down using the laser blaster on their speeders, but none of their shots hit their targets. The two scouts gained on Hater, getting closer by each second, both of them extending their arms to try and grab Lord Hater. But what Dramar and his forces don’t know is that Hater has many similar equipments as they do. Out of the woods, came two Watchdogs on a speeder bike of their own, and they drove right beside the scout troopers, pulled out their blasters, and pointed them at the scouts. The scouts raised their hands in surrender, forgetting they were driving, before being blasted and they came crashing along with their speeder bikes. Hater and the Watchdogs gave each other winks (or blinks in the Watchdogs’ case) before they disappeared back into the woods.

Hater continued speeding through the woods, and the marketplace was now starting to become visible through the trees, but another obstacle crossed him. Out of the foliage, came an AT-ST Walker, blocking Hater’s path, its giant metal form was nearly as tall as the trees themselves, and all of its blasters were aimed at Hater. But Hater wasn’t afraid, because Peepers has planned for every possibility. The walker blasted at Hater, but Hater dodged every laser projectile. Unseen to the AT-ST, two Watchdogs hid in two trees on either side above the walking war machine, one of them gave the other a signal, and they cut the ropes beside them, which released two tied-up logs that swung in each other’s direction, and the AT-ST was right in the middle. The two logs slammed into the walker, crushing its ‘head’, and Hater passed underneath it and the walker fell to the ground behind Hater.

Hater stopped the speeder bike for a moment right as he was at the edge of the forest to look behind him, he could see the battalion was chasing him but was far behind. The hover tanks and the other AT-STs crushed the trees and foliage as they passed, helping clear the way for the army of stormtroopers marching behind.

“Man, you guys are so slow! Do you wanna catch me or not?” Hater taunted again, before speeding off into the marketplace.

Hater drove through the main road of the marketplace, heading towards the center, where he expects the hooded soldiers would be, and they were. Hater stopped his speeder right in front of a large group of soldiers, smiling smugly at them as he did so. Their commander came forward, not looking happy to see him at all.

“Lord Hater?!”

“Yeah, it’s me! And I bet you can’t catch me!” Hater taunted them and sped away yet again.

“Get him!”

Hater sped through the marketplace’s main road again, this time in the opposite direction of where he came, and behind him, hundreds of hooded soldiers chased after him, disregarding any obstacle or person in their way. Ahead, Hater could see Dramar’s forces heading in his direction, hundreds of stormtroopers, dozens of hover tanks, and four AT-STs marched through and crushed the marketplace, and every single citizen was running in terror from them. Hater grinned, everything was going according to Peeper’s plan, all that was left to do was to get out of there. Hater saw a small alleyway to his left and made a quick turn in there before anyone can see him. Nobody followed him after that.

On the main road of the marketplace, the two imperial battalions stopped dead in their tracks as they came face to face with each other. On one side, an army of soldiers in white armor with blasters in their hands, backed up by heavy machinery from tanks to bipedal armored transport; and on the other side, hooded masked warriors, wielding nothing but knives, small guns, and grappling hooks. The two sides stared each other down, one had their faces hidden inside masks, but the other had their eyes visible for all to see, and they were filled with rage and determination.

Out of one of the hover tanks, Commander Dannin popped out, to get a better view of their situation. His eyes met with the deep blue eyes of the Fremen commander, the only one without a mask on.

“You must be the Fedaykin of Emperor Muad’Dib’s army,” Dannin said.

“I am Sifar! Commander of Muad’Dib’s Fedaykin forces for this system!” the commander answered.

“This is not a fight you can win, Fremen. Your primitive savage weapons will not stand a chance against the forces of the Empire! Surrender peacefully, or face the consequences.”

“You are mistaken, Commander. It is you who should fear the consequences! For your master, Vader, and the blasphemous emperor he serves, shall be met with death and destruction, along with every other evildoer and heretic like them! And the religion of Muad’Dib shall prevail.”

“Enough of this. Fire at will!”

“Attack!”

The two sides began their battle. The stormtroopers tried to fire first, but the Fedaykin were quicker. The ones in the front fired their maula pistols, which took out many stormtroopers, then one of them fired a lasgun, and the laser beam took out dozens of stormtroopers. The troopers that didn’t get hit and managed to dodge the laser all tried blasting back and charging forward, but many of them were quickly taken care of by maula pistol darts or by crysknife-wielding soldiers, though some of them did manage to blast down several Fedaykin, but not enough of them. The battle quickly descended to chaos, lasers flew everywhere, hundreds of soldiers charged against each other, the surrounding marketplace was decimated, and the citizens around there all fled or hid in their houses, and the AT-STs trampled and crushed everything in their path, including market stands, Fedaykin, but occasionally even their own troops, for the market main road was a place too small for a battle to take place. The Fedaykin seemed to be gaining the upper hand in this battle, as many of the Imperial forces were being overwhelmed. The stormtroopers were all sliced, blasted, shot, and stabbed; the hover tanks were being sabotaged by Fedaykin who managed to break in; and two AT-STs were being taken apart by hand by Fedaykin that grabbed onto their exterior, one had its feet tied by a grappling hook and fell to the ground, while the last one was sliced in half by a lasgun blast.

From within the lead hover tank, Commander Dannin turned on his intercom in a panicked frenzy, as the tank was shaking from the chaos of the battle.

“Calling all TIE pilots! Head to the marketplace! We require aerial support immediately!”

In the depths of the forest, Hater and all the Watchdogs that hid in the woods all returned to the Skullship, safe and sound. Hater entered the control room where Peepers stood waiting.

“I’ve done it, Peepers!” Haters shouted triumphantly.

“They’re all fighting each other?” Peepers asked.

“Every single one of them!”

“Great! Now we can escape this planet with no one on our tail!” Peepers said as the Skullship took off from the ground, but they weren’t leaving the planet just yet. “And with both of their entire battalions focused on each other on the ground, they’ve left their ships totally defenseless!”

The Skullship first flew to the area where Dramar’s forces landed, and there lay dozens of Imperial shuttles, all completely abandoned, which made it the perfect opportunity for the Skullship to blast them and blow them all up. The ship then flew to the marketplace, where the three gigantic ships belonging to the Fedaykin forces rested, and the Skullship blew them up too.

On the ground, the two battalions stopped their fighting for a moment to see what was happening. They briefly forgot their battle out of shock, as all their transports out of the planet have now been destroyed.

The Skullship now flew up into the sky, entering space, and Peepers looked out the window at the giant craft in front of them with a determined look. “Only one more ship to take care of…Dramar’s Star Destroyer!”

From within the Star Destroyer, on the command bridge, Captain Aryss, the younger subordinate of Admiral Dramar, stood beside his commander and noticed something out the window.

“Admiral! There’s a craft heading towards us!” Captain Aryss reported.

“Lord Hater,” Dramar muttered to himself before giving out his command. “I want all our firepower concentrated on that ship!”

Inside the Skullship, Peepers gave a command of his own. “Shields activate!”

A green energy orb formed around the Skullship, and just in time too. The massive Star Destroyer fired laser blasts from multiple points of the ship’s surface towards the tinier ship of Lord Hater, but all those laser blasts bounced off the shield that was just activated. The mouth of the Skullship then opened, where a missile with Lord Hater’s face on it was launched, and it was fired right at the Star Destroyer’s shield generator, a metal ball right atop the ship’s bridge. Now that the Star Destroyer’s shield was down, the Skullship fired its attacks all over the ship, causing multiple explosions, and Dramar was losing his balance within the command bridge to the violent shaking the ship was now having.

As the Skullship neared the Star Destroyer’s command bridge, Hater jumped out of the Skullship’s mouth, electricity crackling in his gloved hands, and he crashed through the window of the command bridge. Hater and Dramar were now face to face, Dramar stood in fear of the electrical skeleton in the red and black robe before him.

“Admiral Dramar! This drama is over!” Hater shouted as he blasted Dramar with his green lightning, electrocuting and frying the imperial admiral, and Dramar then lay still on the ground, smoking and blackened.

Hater now approached the young Captain Aryss, who was now crawling on his back in fear away from Hater who was stepping closer and looking down at him.

“If you survive, tell Vader everything that just happened!” Hater told the captain with the most intimidating tone he could muster, before jumping out the window back into the Skullship’s mouth.

The Star Destroyer’s multiple small explosions all slowly turned into one giant explosion that blew up the entire massive spaceship. Every piece of the ship was destroyed, reduced to flaming metal, but miraculously, the command bridge was not destroyed too but was launched away by the explosion which mainly affected the main body of the Star Destroyer. And the command bridge, with Admiral Dramar inside it, was launched away, rolling aimlessly into the dark emptiness of space.

“Now with Admiral Dramar out of the way, this system is free for the taking!” Peepers declared victoriously.

On all the Empire-occupied planets in the system, once watched over by Dramar, Hater’s Watchdog army all landed, defeating all the remaining stormtrooper armies, destroying all their ships, and replacing all the Imperial banners with the banners of the Hater Empire. The entire system was now officially under Hater’s control. Hater laughed triumphantly while Peepers struck a victorious pose.

Back on the planet, both the Imperial army and the Fedaykin still stood in silence over the shock at what just happened. Their ships were now all destroyed, they were stranded on this small planet, and Lord Hater has just taken control of the entire system. Commander Dannin just stood in silence, not really knowing what to do now. The Fedaykin on the other hand, decided to finish what was started.

“All enemies of Muad’Dib still must die! Attack!” Sifar shouted, and the battle resumed.

Commander Dannin just sighed tiredly. “Hello? We’re going to need transport out of here.” Dannin spoke into his transceiver to anyone who might be listening. “Lord Vader isn’t going to like this.”

“Look, sir!” Peepers said, pointing to the screen. “We have just moved up the Villain Leaderboard!”

On the screen, they could see the Leaderboard. Many of Vader’s planets have now disappeared from his planet counter, though not enough to knock him off first place, and those planets were added to Hater’s counter, and Hater immediately moved from tenth place to sixth place.

“Yeah! That’s how it’s done!” Hater shouted happily.

But then, something happened on the Villainboard. A new contestant was added, but strangely, he was immediately positioned in first place and moved Vader to second place. They saw the picture of the new contestant, it was a bearded man with wavy hair and dark blue-colored eyes. It was Emperor Muad’Dib.

“What?! Oh, come on! That guy’s now on the Villain Leaderboard?!” Hater complained.

“It appears so, sir,” Peepers said.

Surprising still is that Vader and Muad’Dib keep constantly switching between first place and second place, as more planets keep being added to their counters every second. Both of them were conquering many planets at an alarmingly fast rate, which naturally bothered Hater and Peepers.

“I think we’re gonna have to abandon our plan of keeping our head low to defeat them, sir. After that stunt we pulled back there, these two are surely gonna shift their attention to us.” Peepers said, gesturing to Vader and Muad’Dib. “I’m sure it won’t be long before these two invading superpowers try to hunt us down.”

“Don’t worry, Peepers. Because today has proved one thing to me. That no matter how many enemies, or how big and powerful they are, with the power of…Lord Hater… !” Hater shouted but went quiet when he saw Peepers staring at him, and he groaned. “Ugh, fine. And you too I guess, Peepers…we’ll be unstoppable! And all the superpowers of the universe will then bow down to me!” Hater declared, and his evil laugh echoed throughout the Skullship.

Previous Chapter

[contentment-of-cats]

For Owlpartytime: Thranto

Eli is an actual officer now, not just an ensign, but lieutenant commander. They vaulted him over Agral, Barlin, and Pyrondi, and put him on a level with Hammerly, Lomar, and Yve - and none of them hold it against him. 

Plenty of others do, though.

Yes, he more than deserved a promotion. It had been years, and he’d resented it, but knew it was an issue of having pissed of someone powerful and not an issue of his own competence. Still, Hammerly was a veteran of the clone wars, a good decade older than he was, and to be on a level with her was awkward. He ought to be a senior lieutenant, but he’s not going to quibble. This might be his last promotion for a while. Agral, Barlin, and Pyrondi will catch up with him soon, the way things are going.

The Chimaera is in for repairs, the Kuat yards bustling with Imperial army and naval personnel heading to various places to wait out their vessel’s return to deployment. He could go back to Lysatra, but transport to the edges of Imperial rule is whimsical at best - which is why ISDs exist. 

Maybe something closer? His shipmates seems to be looking at Canto Bight, and honestly it’s not looking like a bad deal. Cheap but good hotels, buffets, buckets of booze, and what happens in Canto Bight stays in Canto Bight. That is unless you come back with an STD, in which case punishment ranges from confinement to quarters all the way to a court martial. 

Better check the expiration on the prophylactic spray.

Hm. Nice Imperial sized bed. Sitting area. Desk. In-room safe for insignia and cylinders. Free breakfast. Good reviews. More important, an endorsement from the ISB as a secure hostel for officers and noncoms. A glance at Thrawn shows him still in conversation via holonet with Colonel Yularen - with Yularen putting his foot down. 

Oh no. 

It can only be a voluntold social event. 

Thrawn terminates the connection after the colonel signs off.

“How is Colonel Yularen, sir?” Eli asks.

“Insistent. Apparently Seinar and other arms manufacturers and fleet systems contractors are holding a convention on Cantonica.” Thrawn’s presentation was neutral. “We are expected. Colonel Yularen will bring us in his private shuttle.”

Eli rested his face in his hands momentarily. He needed a stronger word than ‘fuck.’ He’d been looking forward to the casinos, the food, entertainments, free-flowing booze, and getting laid. He really needed to get laid. He’s even forego the booze, food, casinos, and entertainment if it would get him laid. 

“I tried telling him that my remaining on Kuat to oversee repairs was critical. Does ‘bullshit’ mean the same thing in Basic as it does in Sy Bisti?”

Eli almost laughed. “Pretty close. It means untruthful, but not exactly a flat-out lie. I was already looking at Canto Bight.” Not getting laid, then. “I’ll book us into somewhere with a security rating and a less... celebratory atmosphere.”

~

The shuttle afforded to the head of the ISB is a Delta, packed with comforts and no doubt a lot of classified equipment. Thrawn is not sure why Colonel Yularen has latched on to him, or subsequently to the Seventh, but he is a pragmatist above all. Upon making port on Cantonica, he is marginally approving of their hotel, but makes sure that they are given a secure suite on a secure floor with a comms room that requires the abilities of Lomar to handle it. 

Once they fish the man out of the nudie bar and sober him up.

The convention showcases weapons systems and fleet services. Thrawn hails Faro and Marinith and drags them in. Pyrondi and Hammerly have been freshly booted from a casino - apparently Pyro is really good at roulette - and there is no rest for anyone. Further, there is a lot more voluntold socializing than previously indicated. 

Thrawn’s crew is happily social most of the time, but flee in all directions from being stuffed in a room with officialdom. Marinith ends up with a pole-dancing trophy, while Faro gets a number of executives blisteringly hungover. Pyrondi and Hammerly play five-card-fool-me and he has to get them off-planet before they end up fleecing the High Command. Finally, it’s just himself, Vanto, Yularen, Siward Cass, Moradmin Bast, and a half dozen executives in a place to make things dicey indeed. Conan Motti suggests a drinking game, one designed to get a newcomer completely hammered and presumably embarrass himself.

Human intoxicants are tasty, but not very strong. Relaxing, warming. Quite nice.

Surprisingly, Eli keeps up with Thrawn, as does Yularen. 

No wait. 

Vanto. Lieutenant Commander Vanto. 

There.

So, perhaps he should propose some toasts.

Drinking to health and Warrior’s Fortune. 

Good idea.

Ar’alani would be proud of him.

So Thrawn began the toasts in order of rank, making sure to do it in good Corellian whisky. Of course, nobody would refuse to drink, and nobody did. However, Admiral Motti fell asleep in a potted plant, several members of the IHC were unconscious under the table, and a number of civilian contractors ended up over the railing of the Stellar Center, vomiting into the fountain five stories down. Yularen murmured that Thrawn understood politics betterr than he thought, and both Eli and Thrawn carried the colonel back to his suite, handed him over to a discreet aide, and then went to their own rooms.

“That went well.” Thrawn turned expecting to see Eli, only Eli... Vanto. Vanto. Vanto. Was on the floor of the turbolift. “What are you doing down there?”

“Admiring the view.” Eli peers up at him. “You’re drink.”

“I’m drink?” What could that mean. Eli. No, Vanto. Lieutenant Commander Vanto was, as the CEDF term went, completely hammered. “You are intoxicated.”

“I’m not the one who toasted every member of the Imperial navy,” Eli retorts. “Do you know how much whisky’s sloshing around in your brain?”

“I am not hammered. Human intoxicants are nice, but nothing like what I am accustomed to.” Of course it’s been some years since he’s indulged in such. “You are Human, therefore drinking your intoxicants renders you hammered to the deck.”

“Bullshit, sir.”

“Who’s the one on the deck?”

“The view.”

Odd, there’s nothing to look at in a turbolift except for him. “I will assist you to bed, Commander Vanto.”

Now the man’s asleep. Thrawn pulls him upright and then across his shoulders in a carry. There’s a pleasant scent under the whisky and tibbak smoke. The doors open and Thrawn verifies it’s their floor before stepping out. Odd that it takes a few tries to open the hatch to their accommodation, but he makes it through and-

“Thrawn?”

“Yes, Eli Vanto?”

“M’gonna-”

Thrawn unloads him and holds an empty ice bucket under Eli’s face. Poor Human can’t hold his liquor. He has to sober Eli up. He can’t go to bed in this condition. 

Now he’s asleep again.

Thrawn sighs and overshoulders him again, carrying Eli into his sleeping room and the fresher. It’s very warm in here. To a Chiss, Humans always overheat their spaces. Even the ‘chilly’ temperatures of the Chimaera are a nice spring day to Thrawn. 

“Eli Vanto. Awaken. You are drunk.”

There is something murmured about pots and kettles that Thrawn doesn’t quite catch. Very well. Since Livan... Eli Vanto is horizontal on the bed, Thrawn tugs off his boots, then his socks. His aide sits up abruptly and spends some time dry-heaving into the waste bin hastily procured from under the desk. This will not do. Thrawn carefully helps him out of his tunic, belt and kepi set on the chair, tunic following the socks into the cleaner. 

“You, too.”

“Ch'ah am nah ch'at in'a vea carcir vuhncib tikim canseo.”

Eli’s face scrunches itself. “What?”

Thrawn repeats himself. He is not the one so intoxicated that he is projectile vomiting.

“Thrawn? It’s not Basic, Meese Caulf, Sy Bisti, or any of the six other languages I speak. I’m going to guess you’re speaking Chiss.” Then his aide has the effrontery to chuckle. “I told you you were drunk.”

Pausing, Thrawn considers a theory that Human intoxicants might have a delayed effect. Pulling a knife from his boot, he splays his hand on the dresser and begins to stab between his fingers faster and faster until-

“Oops.” “SHIT! Thrawn-”

Blood everywhere. 

The next moments are muddled as Eli has to vuhn again and Thrawn holds his napkin-wrapped hand above his head while Eli finds the bacta spray - hobbled by his trousers sliding down his hips as they are partially unfastened. There’s blood all over his white uniform. It’s a common occurrence, though it is not usually his. He stands and removes his tunic and belt - the napkin falls and now there’s blood on his trousers.

“It’s possible that I’m slightly inebriated, Commander Vanto.”

Eli comes back in with the bacta spray and two doses of something called Get-Rite. “Ya think?”

“That was sarcasm.” Ha. See? He can pick up some Humanisms. Then again, it could be long exposure to Eli.

The bacta goes on, both of them give up on trousers and their uniforms go in the cleaner on the ‘heavy duty’ cycle, leaving both of them in their underwear.

“You know, sir, that when I imagined both of us in a room in our underwear, this is not what I had in mind.” Eli looks morosely at his bloodied bed. 

It takes a moment to sink in and Thrawn puzzles over it “Why would you need to imagine me in my underwear. You’ve seen me in my underwear.”The academy, aboard the Blood Crow, shared accommodations-”

The light, as Ziara would say, finally clicks on.

Oh.

Oh.

“You imagining me in my underwear is sexual in nature.” Nailed it! But. “You are also my aide and a promising young officer whose reputation I in no way wish to taint. More than that, I consider you a friend and a confidante. I am,however, willing to state, that such attraction is... reciprocal and-” That color could not be healthy. His infrared is almost a miniature nova. “Are you all right? Did you drink something to make your ears turn that color? Are you about to die?”

In answer, Eli bowls him over and both of them land on the floor at the foot of the bed, noses bumping lips smashing and a possible chipped tooth later they surface. 

“What happens in Canto Bight stays in Canto Bight,” Eli blurts.

“I greatly wish that were true.” He is embracing his aide and his friend, and is disinclined to let go. “I also refuse to take advantage of our lowered inhibitions for my own delight.”

“I have the Get-Rite. We’ll drink it, suffer, and then decide.” Eli hands him the little green glass bottle. “I know that I won’t be changin’ my mind.”

“Get-Rite.is an anti-intoxicant?” Thrawn thumbs off the cap.

“Think of it as bacta for bad adult decisions.” Eli uncaps his own and clinks it with Thrawn’s. “One. Two. Three.”

Thrawn knocks his back and then wishes dearly that he hadn’t. His tongue tries to leave his head. His stomach attempts to return it, but his esophagus slams shut, unwilling to suffer a second time. Unable to sweat, his eyes stream tears. He is sure that vital organs cannot scream, but his kidneys and liver manage a reasonable facsimile and his brain fizzes and quivers in his skull. His ears pop as if he’s plummeting into atmosphere.

“Btuzahi ch'ah non!” Please shoot him now. Please.

Eli is uttering a nonstop stream of impressive multilingual profanity.

And then it’s over, aside from the desperate need to drain their bladders of a fuel drum of excess fluid. Then they are left wobbly-legged, intensely dehydrated, and sober. They wash up silently, sharing the walk-in shower, wrapping themselves in towels.

“I meant it. That kiss.” Eli reaches for Thrawn’s arm, hesitates, then completes the contact - his warm Human hand on Thrawn’s shoulder. “Drunk or sober, Thrawn, the answer’s the same.”

“For me as well, Eli. Just not, I think, tonight. I mean, this morning.” Cautiously he slides an arm around the younger man. “Fluids, food, and rest are my best recommendations.” A breath. “If you would like to share my bed.”

Eli looks at his wrecked bed. “Yeah. I can do that. I’ll order, though.”

Greatly daring, Thrawn proffers a kiss and finds it very warmly received and reciprocated. 

“Do Chiss eat breakfast in bed?”

Thrawn cocks his head. “No. I cannot say that we do, unless ill or injured.”

Eli manages a tired swagger as he walks to the lounge, making the towel swish enticingly. “I am going to introduce you to a great Human tradition.”

Something in Thrawn’s chest loosens, a tension leaving his neck and shoulders. The desire is mutual. Everything else can be worked out from that starting point. He goes to his room to make the bed for two.

[intheshadowofwar]

06 June 2023

Wars of the Worlds

Canberra 06 June 2023

Note: The Author apologises for the lack of photography in this one. He will ensure that there are more in the next post, under pain of Field Punishment No. 3 (Being Made to Feel Really Bad about The Whole Thing.)

It’s nearly midnight, and I’m sitting in my room occupying that peculiar state where one is too tired to do much of substance, but too alert to sleep. I’d been reading the first volume of John C. McManus’ excellent series on the US Army in the Pacific War, but I’ve put that on hold - partially because I think it deserves more attention than I can give it before I travel, and partially because reading about Douglas MacArthur gives me a headache. I was scanning my books, seeing if there might be something I might read a chapter of section of, and my eyes fell on this.

This is the Imperial War Museum’s History of the First World War in 100 Objects by John Hughes-Wilson. I think it caught my eye because I’ll be there in two weeks. The book’s divided into six parts, so I thought I’d rifle through it and pick an object from each part that stood out particularly to me when I looked at the contents. It’s probably a strange way to do a book review, but to be fair I’m not aiming to review this. This, I think, is a bit more of a philosophical enterprise.

Part 1 is called Imperialism, Nationalism and the Road to War, and it’s fairly short, but it has some fairly choice artefacts. There’s George V’s crown, there’s a map of the European alliances, and there’s even the bloodstained tunic of Archduke Franz Ferdinand - but my eyes were drawn to a pen. This is on page 16, and it’s specifically ‘the pen that signed the Ulster Covenant.’ ‘This pen,’ the book tells us, ‘was used by Colonel Fred Crawford at the signing - reputedly in blood - of the Ulster Covenant, one of the totemic occasions in modern Irish history.’

The book highlights the pen (which forensic analysis has told us, disappointingly, was probably not dipped in blood) as an example of societal tension in both Britain and Ireland in the years leading up to the First World War. The chapter describes, for instance, industrial unrest being put down by troops in South Wales and Liverpool, the Suffragette movement, taxation issues created by welfare reform and the Anglo-German naval arms race, and principally the issue of Irish Home Rule. This brings us neatly back to the Ulster Covenant. It may surprise you, considering the hideous violence that overtook Ireland following the war, that Britain faced not a Catholic uprising in 1914, but a Protestant one. Unionists were alarmed at the Liberal government’s Home Rule Bill, which provided for a separate Irish parliament, and the prospect for the enfranchisement of the Catholic majority that it entailed. On Ulster Day (28 September) 1912, 80,000 Ulster Protestants gathered in Belfast to sign the Covenant, with Carson of course being the first to do so.

By March 1914, things had gotten, frankly, weird. The British Army faced the possibility of being sent in to crush the Ulster Volunteer Force, who were technically preparing to commit insurrection against the government so that they could remain attached to the government, ostensibly in support of an Irish Catholic majority, many of whom were anti-British republicans. To make things even more complicated, Anglo-Irish officers and Ulster sympathisers were overrepresented as officers in the British Army - Brigadier-General Hubert Gough (once again, remember that name) reported that the vast majority of his officers would refuse orders to enforce Home Rule. It was a mess from which it seemed Britain could not extract itself - and then Franz Ferdinand was shot, and the matter became moot as the First World War began.

So why the pen? I think there’s this idea that the First World War is the genesis of pretty much everything that happened afterwards. Yet here we can see the seeds of what would follow the war in Ireland being sown months and even years before the first shots were fired. The First World War didn’t create the Irish Civil War, or the Troubles, or anything like that. More broadly, it stands against the idea of a peaceful, golden Edwardian age that apparently existed before the war, or that there was a long uninterrupted peace between Waterloo and Sarajevo.

I’ll try to keep the other five a bit shorter.

Part 2 is The Shock of the New and there’s plenty of choices here, covering the course of the war through 1914. I was tempted to pick Admiral Souchon’s medals for their Gallipoli connection (I must remember to write a little about Souchon and Goeben before I get there) but my eyes were really caught by ‘the Imperial Eagle in Africa’ on page 88. This is a mosaic of the Imperial German eagle taken from Lome, the capital of German Togoland, by the British. In the late nineteenth century, Germany had joined the ‘Scramble for Africa,’ which had divided the continent between the various European powers. Like every other imperial power, their arrival caused great suffering to the people of their new colonies, most infamously the genocides they carried out against the Herero and Namaqua in Namibia. These Africans, so mistreated by their so-called superiors, were marched into battle when war broke out between Germany and Britain. Both sides used Africans as porters to carry supplies and as fighting troops - the Germans called them ‘askari.’ The East African Campaign, the longest of the African campaigns, cost 10,000 ‘British’ (mostly African), 2,000 ‘Germans’ (mostly African) and perhaps a hundred thousand civilians.

Naturally the vast majority of the historical attention on the African war goes to Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck, the German commander in East Africa, who, in internet terminology, is often called a ‘badass.’ To be fair, he did apparently tell Adolf Hitler to go fuck himself (though he was still a bit of a nasty authoritarian himself.) Yet it does seem a bit unjust that the great ‘hero’ of this war was a white German man, and not one of the thousands and thousands of anonymous black dead.

The third part is Theatres of War, which roughly seems to cover 1915. I was drawn to an Italian trench helmet on page 112. Italy entered the war in May 1915, and primarily fought the Austro-Hungarians over the Alps. If there was anywhere on Earth more miserable than the Western Front, the Alpine Front might have been it. Here, men fought for mountaintops, caves and valleys, fighting not only the enemy but the elements. The eleven - eleven! - battles for the Isonzo River read like a parody of the supposed incompetence of leadership in the First World War. Luigi Cardorna - a general who combined pig-headed refusal to accept that constant assaults on the Isonzo were achieving nothing with a brutal, even cruel disciplinarian streak - often tops lists of the worst generals of the war.

(To give you an idea of what I mean by a disciplinarian streak, the man brought back the Roman ‘decimation,’ executing every tenth man in units that ‘weren’t performing well.’)

It’s the unit that this helmet belonged to that really caught my attention. An almost mediaeval affair, it was issued, often along with metal armour, to troops advancing ahead of the main assault force, tasked with cutting barbed wire. They called them Compagnie della morte - the Company of Death.

(As an aside, they tried to replicate this sort of thing in the video game Battlefield 1. It’s, uh… it’s not very realistic.)

Part 4, Mud and Blood, roughly covers 1916-17. The first was Private William Short’s Brodie Helmet, but I’d already done a helmet. The second was a Simplex locomotive. The third, which I went with, was a recovered life buoy from the battlecruiser HMS Indefatigable, lost at the Battle of Jutland on 31 May 1916. I picked this because it’s an example of the war on the sea.

The battlecruiser was the brainchild of Admiral John ‘Jacky’ Fisher, the First Lord of the Admiralty in the 1900s, and the concept was sound. A battlecruiser is not a battleship. Battleships are meant to slug it out, and have the armour to match that purpose. Battlecruisers have battleship guns, but they don’t have battleship armour. The idea is that they can ‘outrun what they can’t outfight, and outfight what they can’t outrun’ - basically, they take on smaller ships and raid commerce.

The battlecruiser idea is not a bad idea, but it ceases to work if their commanders forget they’re not actually in a battleship and engage in a full-scale battle. This is what happened to the British battlecruisers at Jutland. Admiral David Beatty, commanding the Battlecruiser Fleet, engaged his German equivalents in the so-called ‘Run to the South.’ Indefatigable was hit within the first twenty minutes of the engagement by the German battlecruiser Von Der Tann, and was blown in half by an ammunition explosion. Three of her 1,019 crew survived. Shortly thereafter, the Queen Mary exploded, and Beatty’s own flagship Lion nearly met the same fate. Later in the day, the very unfortunately named Invincible also exploded.

To be fair to Beatty, these losses weren’t just because of the weaker battlecruiser armour - the battlecruiser squadrons had taken to leaving the blast doors to the ammunition stowage open to facilitate faster reloading - this meant that when the stowage went up, there was nothing to stop the force of the explosion. To be less fair to Beatty, these unsafe ammunition practices were being implemented under his watch, and he promptly followed the German battlecruisers - who were in fact withdrawing in the direction of their own battleships - right into the main German fleet, and promptly had to race very quickly back north again.

Part 5, From Near-Defeat to Victory, covers 1918. I chose to look at a ‘wreath for Saladin.’ This was sent by Kaiser Wilhelm II to Damascus in the Ottoman Empire in 1898, to be laid on the tomb of the great Islamic warrior Saladin, who fought against the Third Crusade. On the 1st of October 1918, the Allies entered Damascus. The 10th Light Horse got there first, but the official entry was performed by Sherif Feisal’s Arabs - and alongside them, one T. E. Lawrence, today better known as Lawrence of Arabia.

The history of the Arabs after 1918 was one of betrayal and disappointment. They had assisted the British in hopes of ejecting the Ottomans and creating a new, unified Arab state. Instead, under the terms of the 1916 Sykes-Picot Agreement, Arabia was to be split between French and British mandates. Feisal was made king of Iraq as a consolation, but the seeds of conflict that continue to affect the Middle East were sown here. It’s controversial how much Lawrence knew about this and how much he told to Feisel, though it does seem to me that he supported Feisel’s ambitions for an Arabic state. Ultimately, it was an example of how, for many peoples, the deposal of an old master simply cleared the way for a new one - Ottomans for Englishmen, Tsars for Bolsheviks, and in parts of the southwest Pacific, Germans for Australians.

This has taken a lot longer than I thought it would, but we’re up to the last part, A New European Landscape. I’ve picked Augustus Agar’s boat on page 410. Lieutenant Augustus Agar, Royal Navy, used this torpedo boat to sneak into a Bolshevik flotilla off Finland and sink the cruiser Oleg. I’ll be as a blunt as I can; I chose this because it demonstrates that the First World War did not neatly end on the 11th of November 1918. Conflict was continuing across Eastern Europe, the Balkans, Turkey, the Caucasus, Siberia and China - there’s probably places I’m forgetting. The fact of the matter is that ‘peace’ was really only for the west. The war didn’t ‘end’ so much as it eventually petered out.

Well, that’s about it. I’ve very much moved into the ‘tired enough to sleep’ zone, so I’ll leave that there. Sorry it’s a bit wordy, but I thought it may be of interest. And of course, if you want to look at this book yourself and see the objects I didn’t share, this all came front A History of the First World War in 100 Objects, by John Hughes-Wilson.

A quick acknowledgement to Drachinifel, whose videos on Jutland I used to reorientate myself to the battle. They can be found here and here.