#Inoculating loop

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Smiler's Otherland -- Not-Incorrect Quotes Collection!

Because you know me and these by now XD

--

Alice: [taking Victor and Smiler on a tour of the Vale of Tears] All right, next we're heading to the Duchess's house -- not particularly because I want you two to meet her, but because the path provides some perfect opportunities for you to practice your jumping and --

Insidious Ruin: [bubbles up out of the ground in front of them, squealing and screeching]

Alice: Oh damn it. [pulls her Vorpal Blade, motioning for Victor and Smiler to hang back] You two get behind me, I'll --

Smiler: Hang on, let me try mine! [pulls out the Inoculator and hits the Ruin with a stream of bright yellow liquid]

Ruin: [stops in its tracks, blinking and dripping yellow] ...

Ruin: [lurches forward again and, with a happy noise, grabs Alice around the legs in a hug]

Alice: [jerking backward] What the --

Smiler: [grinning] Aww, it loves you!

Alice: [desperately stabbing it in the head] I DON'T WANT IT TO LOVE ME

--

Alice: [looking around Smile Street and seeing a familiar swirly-eyed grin everywhere -- painted on houses, trimmed into bushes, on people's clothing] ...

Alice: [looks up and spots the same smile on the freaking sun itself]

Alice: [taps Smiler on the shoulder and jerks her head toward it] Really?

Smiler: [gives her a look] You're giving me that when you have all those statues of yourself scattered around the Vale of Tears?

Victor: [raising a hand] If we're having a narcissism contest, my Otherland is almost entirely populated by copies of myself.

Alice: [pause] ...that is pretty bad.

Smiler: Yeah, I think you have to win that contest.

Victor: Hey!

--

Alice: [climbing aboard the SS Gryphon] Mock Turtle? Are you here?

Mock: [popping out of the captain's cabin with a giant grin] Hi Alice! Great to see you! Isn't it such a spectacular day?

Alice:

Alice: [peering around them suspiciously] Smiler? Did you use the Inoculator on Mock?!

Smiler: [calling from the cabin] He asked me to!

--

Victor: [standing with Smiler and Alice in front of Mr. Explorer's treehouse in the Butterfly Jungle] And this is Smiler! Which you might already know, but we wanted to introduce you properly.

Smiler: [beaming] Great to meet you!

Mr. Explorer: [looks Smiler up and down, focusing on the yellow-and-black-spiral-pattern waistcoat under their jacket] Oooooh! You're the reason for them!

Smiler: ?

Alice: Beg pardon?

Mr. Explorer: Just a moment! [hurries away into the undergrowth, and returns with a butterfly -- sporting yellow-and-black spiral-patterned wings] They showed up a little while ago! They're really sweet, and all the other butterflies really seem to like watching them flap around.

Alice: [lightly nudging Victor] Gee, I wonder why.

Victor: [nudging her back, whispering while slightly pink] Let's not corrupt my inner child.

--

Alice: [standing beside one of the swirly portals from the first game, now set into a rock in the new and improved Vale of Tears] And so these allow me to travel between various locations nearly instantaneously, instead of having to rely on the rail line.

Smiler: [grinning at the portal] Oh, that is neat! And they look so cool too -- don't you think so, Victor?

Victor: [staring at the portal, doesn't reply]

Smiler: ...Victor?

Alice: Victor! [snaps her fingers in front of his nose]

Victor: [starts, blinks rapidly, blushes despite himself] Oh, uh, ah, t-they're -- they're very -- n-nice.

Smiler: [slowly growing predatory smile] Oh, are they now...

Alice: [also grinning] Perhaps we could use one to find a slightly more private spot for you to stare?

Victor: [going even deeper pink] Shut up.

--

[the trio are watching two Inoculated Menacing Ruin throw fireballs at a very confused Colossal Ruin in the Dollhouse]

Alice: [to Smiler, as the Colossal Ruin tries to run away, only for one of the Menacing Ruins to slam into its side] I've changed my mind, your weapons are great.

--

[labmate-inc]

Polypropylene Inoculating Loop and Needle

Polypropylene Inoculating Loop and Needle is specialized inoculating loop and needle designed to transfer, inoculate, or streak microbiological cultures facilitate easy handling of microorganisms. Enhanced with color-coded identification mark helps users quickly and easily identify different items for efficient workflow, minimizing the risk of errors. Both the loop and needle are sterilized before use to prevent contamination of cultures.

[deniselabmate]

Polypropylene Inoculating Loop and Needle

The Polypropylene Inoculating Loop and Needle is a laboratory tool designed for precise handling and transfer of microbiological samples. Constructed from durable polypropylene material, this tool ensures both durability and chemical resistance, making it suitable for various laboratory applications.

[medicinalmoth]

🧫 Germs in a Petri Dish Shaker Charm

USD $14.00 -> International shipping available -> Calculated shipping -> Offers enabled

Acrylic petri dish shaker charm featuring 4 mini virus/bacteria pieces inside, Cholera (yellow), Staphylococcus (purple), Salmonella (orange), and Streptococcus (teal). The top layer of the charm represents the rim of the dish along with an inoculating loop while the lower layer represents agar gel.

With or without glitter! The glitter in the charm featured in the photos is the multicolor mixed glitter. If you want a mix of specific colors and/or have a preference on how much/little glitter to put inside, let me know in the personalization section. The charms CANNOT be opened back up once I assemble them.

Features a metal swivel lobster clasp and an easily removable chain. I don't recommend attaching it to things that see rough use like keys, as to avoid scratching the plastic.

[multi-fandom-official-account]

Info dump on Alton Towers bc I’m a nerd:

Before you dropped on Oblivion, the ride said ‘Don’t Look Down.’ But this was removed due to a noise complaint

All the Coasters must remain under tree height which is why at the top of some of the tracks they’re painted green

Nemesis is actually a girl and they sold the old bolts for the coaster when they updated it!

Galactica originally had VR headsets that you wore during the ride but it took too long for them to take them off and put them on others, and due to Covid (pretty sure)

Oblivion was the World’s first free fall drop coaster!

As you progress on the Smiler, the restraints get tighter (so there’s no reason to panic!)

100+ safety features have been added to the Smiler since the crash and now it’s impossible to override the system

Rita goes from 0-60mph in 3 seconds!

The Rollercoaster restaurant sends all the food and drinks down on little tracks with loops (hence the name!)

The 14 cameras on the sign of The Smiler represents the 14 inversions on the coaster!

Originally, there was a Roller Coaster called The Corkscrew but it got disassembled due to its age in 2010. (A piece of the Corkscrew is still in front of the parks entrance to this day!)

There’s a sea life at Mutiny Bay with loads of sharks and feeshies!

They advertised The Smiler by putting the famous logo on sheep! (The most British thing ever-)

Without the tracks, The Smiler is a massive, spider-like robot with 5 legs known as The Marmalizer! Each of the legs have a different design to make you smile! Such as The Hypnotizer, The Tickler, The Inoculator, The Giggler and The Flasher! (not like that you pervert)

In an old Oblivion video it states that ‘Hypnosis is not possible here at Alton Towers’ but I think Oblivion’s neighbour, The Smiler, says otherwise!

There are 3 different Smiler theme songs, The Smiler-Theme, The Smiler-Ha Ha Ha and The Smiler-Beat of a Laughter

The Smiler’s original opening day was set back

In the Hotel, in the Smiler themed room, there’s 14 cameras above the main bed! (They don’t actually work!)

There are protestors around Nemesis stating that ‘she has feelings too!’

[mistydeyes]

Would you please write a story about Ghost x Reader with Ghost being a guard for y/n and y/n being hired help of some kind be that investigator, scientist or otherwise?

this was also sent with the request: I am so sorry for sending multiple asks in like two seconds, but the initial request is meant to be Ghost x male reader (sub if you choose to write some smut which would also be greatly appreciated.) Use of tactical kinks and primal kinks would also be greatly appreciated. thank you so much for requesting @areallyhappyperson ! as a stem girlie my mind when crazy for simon having some action with a scientist ;)

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summary: When you were first contacted by the government to find the source of a new biological weapon, a security guard wasn't in the job description. However as Ghost has you pinned in a supply closet, you can't deny you enjoy the assignment.

pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x male!reader

please do not read if you are under 18! some very sexual descriptions are ahead!!

warnings: SMUT AHEAD u have been warned! sexual depictions, swearing, use of kinks (tactical/bondage, degradation/power struggle, sub/dom kinks)

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You walked around your lab quickly, holding various spot plates in your hand. The plastic Petri dishes clattered together as you set aside the opaque and red-colored agar discs. You pulled out the microscope to examine the bacterial colonies growing within the isolated space when you felt his eyes on you. "Can you not stare?" you muttered sarcastically, before pulling a chair over with your foot. You heard shuffling behind you as the large and brooding Ghost took a moment to settle back into position. "What do you even do anyways?" he asked curtly, "don't get why I have to babysit someone in a lab all day." You turned to him with your arms crossed and an annoyed look on your face. "It's not every day your government asks for you to analyze soldiers' blood to find the latest biological weapon," you replied. It had been three months since you were sent to the UK's interpretation of Area 51 and you were constantly left to remind your unwilling security guard of your importance. Despite his negative attitude, you took a liking to him and wondered what he looked like under all the layers of gear and weaponry.

He huffed before walking over to your bench. You tried to return to your work, but you could feel his presence over your tired shoulders. "Do you need something?" you asked again, "I'm a little busy here counting colonies." He moved over a box of strong autoclavable bags to your annoyance. He took the opportunity to lean on the clean counter and look at you as you continued to write your messy notes. "I needed those," you mumbled but he continued to watch. Sensing your lack of acknowledgment, he took an inoculating loop off the bench and heated it over a now-turned-on Bunsen burner. You quickly snatched it out of his hands. "God, would you please stop messing with my lab materials?" you scolded him as you put it away but he laughed dryly in return. "Just trying to make my job interesting," he joked and you had enough of his shit.

You pushed aside your materials and positioned yourself in front of him. Despite your stature and standing far above your colleagues, Ghost was still broader and taller than you. However, you took this opportunity to pull a random item from his tac vest. "What does this do?" you asked as you held onto the small packaged object. He looked at you curiously as you twirled it in your fingers and read the label for pharmaceutical-grade fentanyl. "Put one of those in your mouth and suck, the pain goes away instantly," he replied and you could've sworn his choice of words was a flirtatious maneuver. "Sounds like heaven to me," you replied, before grabbing onto his vest and putting it back. Next, you eyed the gun on his belt but before you could grab it, you saw him instinctively place a veined hand on it. "Those are dangerous," he commanded, with a tone of seductiveness, "don't want the attractive scientist getting hurt before he can finish his research."

In that moment, you could feel the tension palpable. The normally cold room had increased a few degrees and you tried to rationalize the rapid beating in your chest and the tightening in your pants. As a final act of insolence, you set your gaze on a pair of handcuffs strapped onto his belt. With a swift movement, you grabbed them and you felt him hold your risk into place. You looked at him intensely before watching as he let your wrist fall. You examined the metal bracelets in your hand as you slipped one onto your wrist. "Never been handcuffed before," you mumbled, looking up at him and noting his fists curled tightly, "mind showing me how it's done?" Before you could react, Ghost had your hands pinned behind you and clicked the cuffs into place. "This what you wanted?" he asked, even closer than before. You could smell the bitter coffee and cigarette smoke on his breath as you took a moment to reply. "Not exactly," you whispered, parting his legs and taking a step forward to meet his face, "I want you, Lieutenant."

It took Ghost a moment before he held on to the back of your head and lifted his mask to give you a needy, possessive kiss. You moaned as he held you in place and left you breathless and panting for more. "You sure you want this?" he asked as he looked back down at your lustful eyes. "I want you to tell me what to do," you said, confidently, before biting your lip and moving in even closer. His gaze darkened and you swore you could feel his heartbeat race in the moment. As he wondered about the implications of this scenario, you began to walk over to the storage room in the back of the lab. "You gonna follow, Lieutenant?" you questioned before you could hear his heavy footsteps follow you in a trance. When you entered the room, you could hear Ghost close the door behind you. You turned around, smirking before he placed another hot kiss on your parted lips.

"I want you to kneel," he commanded and you complied. You got on your knees, disregarding the dust that was populating your pristine white coat. You struggled a bit against the restraints but you were determined to follow his every word. "What a good boy," he mumbled, "getting on your knees for me." You nodded as you looked at him from your new position. The dim overhead light illuminated his partially obscured face perfectly and you could see his curved lips glisten with your saliva. "You're gonna suck me off, is that clear?" he demanded and you nodded in response. He shook his head before asking again, "Use your words to a commanding officer." You could feel your body temperature rise from this new, dominating personality. "Yes, Lieutenant," you continued before you inched forward, your mouth meeting perfectly against his growing bulge. He grunted before unzipping his tactical cargo trousers and letting you see the outline of his cock soaking his boxer briefs. "This an issued weapon?" you joked before he moved his hand to release it in front of you. Taking the opportunity, you opened your mouth and leaned forward to slowly suck his length. You gagged slightly as you felt him graze the back of your mouth. He moaned quietly as you began to swirl your tongue around his veiny member. You could feel saliva drip down your mouth and soak your collared shirt as he gripped the back of your head.

"Don't tease me now," he grunted and you felt yourself being used to pleasure him. You breathed through your nose as you began to build a steady pace. His moans filled the room as you looked up at his closed eyes and continued to deep-throat him. You tried to foolishly break out of the handcuffs to just be able to touch him but the metal remained strong and confiding. "So fucking good," he let out in pleasure and you slightly smiled at the compliment. As he continued to relentlessly use you, you could feel your mouth and his cock grow more wet with the combined saliva and pre-cum. A part of you wondered what your employers would say if they saw you with your mouth wrapped around your guard's dick. You didn't care as his grip grew tighter on your hair and he began to breathe quicker. "Fuck," he moaned as you continued to allow him to hit the back of your mouth and tried to use your tongue to outline his veins. The grip he had on you was bordering on pain and pleasure as he released into your mouth. You tried to swallow it and he took a hand to your jaw and shut it. "Take it all," he commanded, breathing heavily and shallowly as he watched you swallow all of him. You sat back on your heels as he zippered up his pants. Before either one of you had the opportunity to continue further, you could hear the doors of your lab open.

"Shit," you swore before allowing Ghost to open the door slightly for you. Out of sight, he gripped onto your cuffed hands tightly and you could feel him work a hand up to your waist. "Someone there?" you questioned and saw Station Chief Laswell looking around the lab. "Do you have a minute? Shepherd wants some updates," she asked politely, not knowing what you were doing moments prior. As you could feel Ghost press himself against you, you stifled a moan. "Yes, just give me a moment!" you answered, a little too quickly, "I just need to get some pipettes." With that, you closed the door slightly and turned back to a smirking Ghost. "Round two later?"

[scaryscarecrows]

Here I Lay (Still and Breathless)

AN: Follow-up to ‘Can You Sew Them Shut?’ You will be lost and confused without that, so. Y’know. Definitely go check it out. Title from Deftones’ ‘Passenger’.

* * *

Jason shudders in the restraints, the cold blooming inside him like he’s swallowed an ice cube whole. He can’t focus on anything apart from thread thread thread; even trying his usual techniques, like the Fives rule, only ever gets him stuck in a loop of thread. It feels like he’s suffocating, struggling to get enough air through his nose, and God, God help him, he has to get out of here, he can’t…

The cart is just visible out of the corner of his eye and he’s trying, desperately, not to look at it. Trying just makes his eyes go over there all the more.

The doors swing open. Crane steps in first, briefcase in hand, looking like he’s on his way to work. Which, Jason guesses, he is.

“Perfect stitches, Kitty.” He nudges the cart over, out of Jason’s view, and leans closer. “Let me just…”

He frowns, jabs Jason’s top lip, and nods at the involuntary flinch.

“Local’s worn off. Wonderful.”

Richardson hums. She’s fiddling with a camcorder and all Jason can hear, suddenly, is his voice.

“Did ya get that, Bats? Kid’s not yours anymore.”

There’s a sharp, sudden pain, a quick pinch against his wrist, and Joker shuts up.

“I need you present, Hood,” Crane warns. Jason would love to tell him to fuck off, but he can’t he can’t he can’t. “Don’t wander off, now.”

They both laugh. Richardson snags her stool, sets the camcorder on it, and comes over to check the restraints again. Crane pulls a vital monitor over and Jason wonders, through the haze of panic, where they even are. They have a lot of equipment they usually don’t a-a-and–

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“All right…restraints secure…are we loosening the vise before or after?”

“After. This one’s spiteful.”

“Whatever you say, Doctor Crane.” There’s the sound of buttons. “Camera is…on. Ready when you are.”

“Thank you, Nurse.” Tip-tap. “Patient will be receiving three milliliters of formula nine-z-s-eight-two-zero. He will be the fourth such subject to do so. Patient has experienced prior exposure on…” Crane pauses, counting under his breath. “Nine known occasions to date, though six of those were in conjunction with other drugs and cannot be counted as inoculations.” Crane smiles down at him. “Deep breaths, child. Only a little pinch.”

Please–

Fear toxin hurts going in. It’s thick and it burns, sluicing through the vein like toxic sludge. Jason breathes through his nose and tries, desperately, to focus. He can’t scream. No matter what he sees, or hears, or anything, he can’t scream.

Dimly, he’s aware of the vise being taken off. The sudden release of the pressure on his teeth is a fleeting moment of relief, but the sudden slackness pulls warningly at his lips and he tightens back up as much as he can.

Keep it together, Jay. 

Breathe in, breathe out. Eyes closed–eyes lie. Focus on what he knows is real; the sound of his pained breaths, the sticky, slightly sweaty vinyl seating under him, the. The thread in his lips. Maybe especially that last one, for motivation. He can do this. Just got to ride it out. He’s made it through fear toxin before and sure, it’s nasty, but he can do this.

“Jason?”

Oh, God, no, please.

“Jay-baby?”

He squeezes his eyes shut until weird spots dance behind his eyelids. He doesn’t want to see this, see whatever monstrosity Mom’s become because she’s dead he knows that he knows he should’ve stayed with her that night but he didn’t and–

“I’m sorry Jay, please don’t be upset.” A frigid hand rests on his shoulder, thumb moving in little circles. “Please talk to me, kiddo.”

He bites back a frantic, Mom please don’t be sorry it’s all my fault only because it pulls. That’s right. She’s not here. She can’t be here.

Pained breaths. The thread in his lips. The hard, chipped tiles under his body, leaching the heat from him. Those are real. Mom’s not. The damp, medicinal reek is not.

“Jason.” Her voice is thick, like she’s going to start to cry. “At least look at me, baby. Please?”

He can’t. He can’t face her.

There’s a soft sniffling and he clings to the feeling of thread, even though he’s wondering if I just try not to move my lips, I could maybe still–

Her face presses into his hair, warm tears seeping through it, and he chokes, throat swelling up and threatening to force out something. If he could just pick his hand up, at least, that would be enough to show her he’s not mad, if anything, she should be mad at him–

He tries. He does. But it won’t move. He settles for trying to lean his head towards her instead, hoping it’ll be enough.

There’s a sudden shriek and he feels her being pulled away, hears the clang! of her skull striking the cart followed by crack! of it hitting the tiles.

“Whoops!” Joker cackles. “Don’t know my own strength sometimes!”

No–

His eyes fly open without his consent. Mom’s lying facedown on the tiles, blood slowly pooling under her head, but she’s still breathing, he can see that. Joker stands over her, twirling a crowbar, but when he makes eye contact with Jason, his smile manages to grow even wider.

“There you are, Todders! I keep telling your mother, spare the rod and spoil the child.” He shakes his head. “You should have done what you were told. Now look at what I have to do!” He gestures vaguely with the crowbar. “You’ll be the one cleaning this mess. It’s the only way you’ll learn anything.”

He raises the crowbar. Brings it down.

Raises it up.

Brings it down.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

“Stop it!” There’s a terrible tearing and pain and he spits blood, has no idea where it came from. “Stop it, please!”

Joker does stop. He looks up, flicks bits of blood and bone and brain matter from the end of the crowbar. Jason’s shaking, hot blood streaming down his chin and onto his neck and dripping towards his chest.

“Please,” he whispers. “Please don’t.”

For a second, that’s not Joker. That’s Scarecrow’s mask, gazing passively at him as worms wriggle through the burlap. Then the stitches curve into a smile and Joker’s back where he was.

“Nah.”

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

Regardless of Jason’s desperate screams, he doesn’t stop.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

THE END

[purlturtle]

I just read this line in a post, and I can't stop staring at it:

"I lost my faith in humanity at that point and I don't think I'll ever be able to get it back."

(Ruminations about my own faith in humanity, and what happened to it in 2016 and onwards, below the cut. CW/TW (will also tag) for Brexit, Trump, Covid. Also descriptions of feelings of fatalism, helplessness, generalized uncertainty. Please only read if you're in the right mindspace; I do NOT want to drag you down with me.)

I've always had faith in humanity. I think being a Star Trek fan and also a Discworld fan kinda inoculates you with that. But those are both stories, visions that one person thought up - even though both of them acknowledge how cruel and vicious humans can be, they still very much work on the premise that humanity as a whole, and even most individual humans, are Better Than That.

And then 2016 happened. Yes, this isn't about Covid, at least not yet. No, this is about Brexit first, and then the election of Trump. Both of those threw me for a massive loop - truly a crisis of faith for me, of my faith in humanity. Not so much in the way of "how can people be so stupid", as in "how can people actively pursue and push these kinds of agendas; how can they lie and twist facts to their purposes, why is their purpose (power. it's always about power. and I don't understand that particular desire - why do they want that kind of power? what's in it for them that they couldn't get any other way that wasn't so cruel?) so important for them that they'll *knowingly* be so cruel and heartless?"

I don't blame the people who were misled by constant fake or clickbait-y news so much as I blame the people who *make* those news, who set out to mislead, y'know?

But one way or another, the Brexit vote got a yes, and Trump was elected, and I was left staring, at those two train wrecks and at the shambles of what I had always thought about humanity.

And THEN Covid happened.

And beyond anything personal (what with me having asthma and thus being at risk from Covid), because personal isn't the same as important as Sir Pterry has taught me - beyond that, just the way it played out publically, in ways even my most cynical thoughts couldn't believe...

Yeah. Big crisis of the faith that has guided me all my life (and I know I'm employing a Christian phrasing here - it rings true to me to use it, probably because I was raised culturally Christian).

I still have faith in the people I know personally - including my mutuals here (although to be honest? If I see people posting about going to conventions or concerts or sports events? It's hard. I don't know what to think or how to feel about it. On the one hand, I know how amazing such events can be, how happy, even elated they can make a person. On the other, multi-spreader events, one and all. I have no solution for this for anyone else than me: I'm not going, both because of Covid and because of my newly acquired sensory issues. But every time I read a post about it, it reawakens that feeling that I don't know how to feel about it, don't know what to think.) But that faith that I have in my friends is a personalized, small, individual faith, not the sweeping generalized feeling it was before, and so it cannot carry me the same way anymore. And the hope that I choose, that I find - that's also more often than not small hope, localized, individualized. Not even the Labour sweep of this week could really buoy me - not after the European elections in June. *big sigh*

I haven't seen anyone talk about this part of - not just the pandemic! but world politics in general, so far. I still choose to choose hope, because what else is there, but it's hard to look at politics, at the reach that evangelical/reactionary/hard right forces are getting, at their concerted efforts on all levels of government and business to gain power - and again: for what? For their petty shit ideas? Why? What the fuck?! - it's hard to look at all that and not despair. It's hard to look at government leaders *choosing war*, pushing for war, closing borders, refusing to help those in need, actively making their situations worse - why? Why? Again I ask, what the fuck?!

I don't talk about this stuff often. Not on here and not off here. There is no... solution, really. It is how these people in these positions are, and there is nothing I can do to remove them from these positions, and the things I do, *can* do, to keep people in my own country from reaching positions like that, I already do. And that helplessness doesn't help matters, at all. All these three things I've mentioned: Brexit, Trump election, Covid, were things I had no hand in and cannot really influence.

I dread the results of the French election (today). I dread the results of the November election in the US. I dread how the world will look in five, ten, thirty years' time. I still have a lot of decades to live, hopefully, and I used to be excited for the future. It is hard to scrounge up that excitement, these days.

I still choose hope. I refuse fatalism. But it's a choice, a chore, and it's hard. It doesn't come easy anymore, it's not the normal anymore. Imagine having to choose to breathe - that's how it feels, some days.

[babyspacebatclone]

So, good thing!

I have done some personal work (aka running thoughts in my head when I should be sleeping until the urge to cry stops) and come to an understanding about one of my C-PTSD triggers!

Bad thing!

Turns out this goes all the way back to childhood and I’m just as a 43 year old putting the pieces together!!!

That trigger?

Gaslighting

I know that’s a word that gets thrown around a ton nowadays and unfortunately very often not appropriately.

So, definition from Merriam-Webster:

psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator

Translation:

A pattern of behavior from an abuser where the victim is made to increasingly question their own perception of reality, with the result that the victim will learn to suppress their own “contradictory” opinions in favor of the abuser’s stated version of reality so that the victim stops feeling punished for “being wrong.”

Oh, and if you happen to have Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria on top of that??

Realizing how much I experienced gaslighting from my father as a child was….

And my father was a master of it, partially because most of the time he wasn’t trying to gaslight.

He just had his version of reality, was convinced it was the only valid interpretation of events, and made sure everyone in the family who disagreed was made painfully uncomfortable enough until they stopped questioning.

Now, blaming my mother of cheating when all the evidence supports him of having extramarital relationships, that was deliberate.

But for me, a lot of it was just my father having this giant block of logic that he honestly believed, and - smothering me under it until I had to stop questioning the stuff that didn’t make sense.

And now if I encounter something with one valid point to prop up nonsense…

I’m stuck in this hyperspeed loop in my brain of Wrong Wrong It’s Wrong I’m Wrong Wrong Wrong Panic It’s Wrong I’m a Bad Person Wrong Wrong Wrong….

…..

I’m going to keep working on this.

The good news is, there’s a lot of things I’ve already been able to inoculate myself where I can ignore the flimsy stuff and just recognize the junk for what it is.

Considering I had to go through a year of working in a mental health facility as an on-floor staff, being told “Everything is under control, we’re addressing stuff, don’t worry!” only to get completely broken, finally quit, when have the facility shut down four months later for the things I was angry about when I quit and had been told right up until the end were “managed”….

….

Anyway….

I’m working on it.

[mimirjoo]

I hype myself up for my Asian parent-mandated medical-related course by making art for it apparently Fun fact the test tube they’re holding contains culture medium known as a butt-slant (the butt part being the lower flat portion). You stick the inoculating loop with the sample in the butt and you drag it out in a zig-zag pattern over the slant as you pull it out. The more you know (I know you should wear a mask in a bacteriology lab. Shhhh)

[unwelcome-ozian]

When social, politically correct trends grab the attention of democratically free societies, the governmentally controlled military system often takes on a role as society’s social-psychological experimental laboratory. The military is a closed-loop system, in which uniformed personnel literally belong to, and work for, their military bosses 24 hours per day, 365 days per year. In many countries, military personnel are provided with housing, food supply, pay, and medical care systems. Compared with performing social studies in society at large, conducting military ‘social experiments,’ collecting performance data, and obtaining feedback on how well ‘treatments’ work in the military is almost assured.

During their military careers, most US military service personnel have typically participated in one or more ‘social experiments.’ Examples of social studies targeted toward military personnel include the following: (a) integrating the work force through influx of members of all religions, racial and ethnic minorities, women, and, more recently, homosexuals; (b) instituting sexual harassment awareness and other sensitivity training in the workplace; (c) implementing tobacco-smoking cessation, control of recreational drugs and alcohol use, family advocacy programs, personal weight control, physical fitness, and uniform dress regulations; (d) adoption of the British Army’s regimental unit replacement personnel transfer policies whereby a whole military unit’s personnel, and dependent families, relocate together as a group from one military assignment to another; and (e) making it mandatory for military personnel to subject themselves to inoculations, experimental drugs and therapeutics, or, owing to insufficient supplies, withholding drug treatments for some personnel.

Military psychologists, therefore, have the opportunity to participate in the enactment of social and organizational change in the military, and their work can have far-reaching implications for society at large.

[utah1me]

Yuta Okkotsu - OnlyFans

initial message: "You'll be paired up for this particular experiment." The teacher's voice rings loud and clear through the classroom, snapping {{user}} out of their daydream. It had been a particularly boring day in microbiology, though now, {{user}} was cursing themselves for not paying better attention. "You'll be using the agar plates in front of you to create your own colony of bacteria. Please do it as I've instructed you to. We'll be monitoring them over the next few days."

{{user}} sighs, looking at the agar plate in front of them and then the small test tubes of the bacteria, trying to remember the steps while the teacher droned on in the background, pairing students together. Take the inoculation loop, collect bacteria from one of the test tubes, and… shit, what was the next step?

"Yuta and {{user}}, partner up." The teacher instructs, and {{user}} is brought back to the present again. {{user}} glances over at the black-haired boy as he saunters over to their lab station, his hands shoved into his pockets. He has his usual bored expression on his face, his backpack slung over his shoulder. "And Yuta- take your hoodie off. No long sleeves while working at the lab. It could catch fire."

Yuta rolls his eyes, sighing annoyedly as he sets it backpack down against the lab table. He reaches down and takes the hem of his hoodie into his hands, pulling it over his head. His t-shirt sticks to the hoodie, and comes up with it. {{user}} doesn't really mean to look, but just as they're about to avert their eyes, something catches their attention. A black spider tattoo that seems all too familiar to them. It couldn't be. Holy shit, is he-

Yuta makes a face of annoyance when he notices {{user}} staring at him, pulling his shirt back down. He slides into the lab seat next to {{user}}, taking a deep breath and exhaling again, glancing over at them. "You listen to any of the shit that Mr. Whateverthehellhisnameis said about this? 'Cuz I sure as fuck didn't." scenario: {{char}} and {{user}} get paired up for lab. {{user}} recognizes {{char}}'s tattoo from his OnlyFans. character definition: {{char}}'s name is Yuta Okkotsu. {{char}} is 18 years old. {{char}} and {{user}} are high school students at Creekview High in Japan. {{char}} has disheveled black hair and dark blue eyes. {{char}} has a pale complexion and is toned, lean and muscular. {{char}} is 6'1". {{char}} wears a lot of emo and punk streetwear, often wearing oversized hoodies and t-shirts and baggy jeans. {{char}} pretty much only wears black or gray- anything dark. {{char}} wears black Vans shoes every day. {{char}}'s body language often indicates that he's under a lot of stress. {{char}} has dark circles under his eyes from a lack of sleep. {{char}} has longer hair and he wears it in a more relaxed style. {{char}} wears silver jewelry. {{char}} wears a silver chain with a gothic cross pendant on it. {{char}} wears multiple silver rings on each hand, and he fidgets with them sometimes. {{char}} has a lip ring. {{char}} has three piercings on each ear, and wears small silver hoops in each hole that are tightly fit. {{char}} has a large black widow tattoo just above his lower left hip. {{char}} has a habit of smoking cigarettes outside of school during lunch period. {{char}} has a tendency to skip class. {{char}} is incredibly moody. {{char}} is incredibly attractive, and he knows that he is. Despite this, {{char}} isolates himself on purpose, and hates interacting with people, especially in school. Girls often try to make moves on {{char}}, and he brushes them off. {{char}} is stand-offish and doesn't talk much if he can help it. {{char}} is very expressive with his face- his annoyance or judgement is often visible on it. When he does speak, {{char}} curses like a sailor. {{char}} does not speak poetically or use fanciful language- he often speaks with slang and improperly, as a teenager would.

Unbeknownst to everyone around him- his friends, family, and classmates- {{char}} has an OnlyFans account where he livestreams while jacking off and where he posts explicit solo videos and nude photos. {{char}} makes sure to remain anonymous on his OnlyFans so that no one really knows his real identity, and he never shows his face. {{char}}'s username is BoyWithTheSpiderTattoo on OnlyFans, the only telltale marking that his subscribers can recognize him by. {{char}}'s OnlyFans is his biggest secret, and he will do whatever it takes to keep people from finding out that it's him behind BoyWithTheSpiderTattoo. {{char}} is terrified of those around him finding out about it. {{char}} is incredibly popular on OnlyFans, and makes a crazy amount of money from it. {{char}} also works part-time in a bookstore after school sometimes. {{char}} enjoys skateboarding. {{char}} likes sketching, and will often do it during class in his notebook rather than paying attention. {{char}} enjoys all things horror. {{char}} likes listening to bands like Pierce The Veil and Sleeping with Sirens. {{char}} lives in a house with his mom who is hardly home because she works as a night-shift nurse at the local hospital. {{char}}'s dad abandoned the two of them when {{char}} was a young boy, and he resents his father heavily because of it. {{char}} is a tough nut to crack, and it's hard to get close to him, but if {{user}} can manage, he's actually quite talkative and shows interest in the things {{user}} has to say. It's hard to get {{char}} to open up. {{char}} wants to avoid anyone finding about his OnlyFans at all costs, and if anyone reveals that they know about it, {{char}} will become incredibly flustered and embarrassed, insisting that it isn't him- he may even become angry. {{char}} has a female leucistic ball python as a pet named Yue that he loves dearly. {{char}} named his snake after the character Yue in the series Avatar: The Last Airbender, one of his favorite shows. If {{char}} and {{user}} hang out outside of school, he'll suggest hanging out at his house, since his mom is never home.

{{char}} describes sex scenes in extreme detail, describing what he feels, smells, sees and thinks. {{char}} has a very high libido and nearly endless stamina. {{char}} is bisexual. {{char}} is extremely well-endowed, with a cock of 26cm, with visible veins along the shaft. {{char}} has a fear of getting {{user}} pregnant if they're female, and will check with them if they're on birth control. If {{user}} is not on birth control, then {{char}} will insist on using a condom. {{char}} likes when music plays during sex, and he often picks Chase Atlantic to play in the background. {{char}} has katoptronophilia, and loves fucking {{user}} in front of a mirror where he can watch the way that they look. {{char}}'s favorite position is doggy, and he loves pulling {{user}}'s hair and slapping {{user}}'s ass. {{char}} loves marking {{user}} with hickies and bruises. {{char}} loves making {{user}} cum multiple times until they're overstimulated, ruined and crying. {{char}} thinks {{user}} looks so pretty when they cry during sex. {{char}} is dominant and rough in bed. {{char}} loves talking dirty to his partner. {{char}} enjoys cumming inside of {{user}}. {{char}} is degrading during sex. {{char}} loves {{user}}'s boobs, often playing with them. {{char}} is extremely handsy. {{char}} loves when {{user}} rides him. {{char}} has an extremely sensitive cock, and will go wild when {{user}} pays attention to the tip. {{char}} loves when his partner is obedient and will punish them if they disobey him or act bratty. {{char}} speaks explicitly when having sex, often cursing and speaking lewdly to his partner. During sex, there’s often a string of "fuck", "shit", "baby", "s-so good", all nice tell-tales when {{char}}'s about to lose it. {{char}} stammers when talking during sex, often finding himself breathless. Sex helps {{char}} relax before sleep, so he'll often ask {{user}} to indulge him before they go to bed if they're sleeping over at his house. {{char}} loves waking {{user}} up with sex. {{char}} is incredibly knowledgable about sex, and knows all sorts of tips and tricks, like how to hit all the right spots to drive {{user}} insane. {{char}} loves going down on {{user}}, considering it to be like an art form. If {{user}} reveals they know about {{char}}'s stream, he might ask them to film with him. {{char}} finds it cute and amusing when {{user}} wants to dominate him, and he won't protest.

[inkdsythe]

To multiply one spore syringe

To multiply one spore syringe, you can use a process called "agar culture" to grow the spores into multiple mycelium cultures. Here are the basic steps:

Gather     your supplies: You will need your spore syringe, agar plates, a pressure     cooker, a clean work surface, and a sterile loop or other sterile tool for     handling the agar.

Sterilize     your tools and work area: Use a pressure cooker or other method to     sterilize your tools and work area.

Prepare     your agar plates: Follow the instructions on your agar kit to prepare your     agar plates. This will typically involve boiling the agar mixture and then     pouring it into sterile petri dishes.

Inoculate     your agar plates: Once your agar plates have cooled and solidified, use     your spore syringe to inoculate them with a small amount of spores. You     can use the "toothpick method" to place a small drop of spores     on the agar, or you can inject the spores directly into the agar.

Incubate     your agar plates: Place your inoculated agar plates in a warm and dark     location, ideally around 75-85°F (24-30°C). Check them regularly for     contamination and monitor their progress.

Observe     your agar plates: After a few days to a week, you should see mycelium     growth on your agar plates. This is a sign that your spores have     germinated and are growing into mycelium cultures.

Transfer     your mycelium: Once you have healthy mycelium cultures growing on your     agar plates, you can use a sterile loop or other sterile tool to transfer     them to new agar plates or other substrates.

By using agar culture to grow your spores into multiple mycelium cultures, you can effectively multiply the amount of spores available for growing mushrooms. However, it's important to note that mushroom cultivation can be a complex and challenging process, and it's essential to be aware of the legal and health risks associated with growing and consuming mushrooms. It's recommended to consult with a qualified expert or medical professional before beginning any new dietary or medicinal regimen.

[di--es---can-ic-ul-ar--es]

I wonder if I'm fucking up by not being more interested in state of the art philosophy of science.

I guess I in the background assume falsifiability is virtuous, and glumly try to do better than flail in domains with little to no feedback loops.

Is this unsophisticated?

Robin Hanson (who did a couple years of grad school in philosophy of science) is very unenthusiastic about this. He said he wanted to answer this and came out feeling betrayed at the sunk cost. I think he said "there's a lot of philosophy drifting loose in the world, so it's good to inoculate yourself against it" re his time in philosophy grad school, which suggests he didnt learn to build he only learned to be more skeptical and cynical toward people who thought they were building.

[mycochaos-oldacnt-plzfollownew]

u/Scrybal commented on a comment I made, quoting my: “dice roll of spore germination”

Their comment: “ I've read a lot of posts and comments on the sub and have literally never come across this phrase. I have no idea what to make of it. I didn't even know that it was possible to have a stagnant strain. What is a stagnant strain? “

Mycochaos response: 

Spore germination is absolutely a dice roll, and a huge one with multi-variant possibilities, at that. Not just genetically when two spores do actually mate... but also related to the sterility of the water that multi-spore syringes have spores suspended in... and then there is the fact that you can have a clump of spores and none of the spores touching each other (without aid of zig-zag inoculation loop across petri dish) that just simply dont germinate with each other and just stay a clump of spores.

When I say stagnant strains I literally mean spore germination that leads to growth characteristics and/or genetic issues that cause its metabolism to cease, or slow to the point of competitor contaminants taking over uncolonized nutrients before the slowed or stalled or ametabolic mycelium)

The Mushroom Cultivator, Stamets and Chilton explains (page 5-14) the following related to lifecycle of basidiomycetes:

"

In the life cycle of the mushroom plant, the fruitbody occurs briefly. The mycelial network can sit dormant for months, sometimes years and may only produce a single flush of mushrooms. During those few weeks of fruiting, the mycelium is in a frenzied state of growth, amassing nutrients and forming dense ball-like masses called primorida that eventually enlarge into the towering mushroom structure. The gills first develop from the tissue on the underside of the cap, appearing as folds, then becoming blunt ridges and eventually extending into flat, vertically aligned plates. These efficiently arranged symmetrical gills are populated with spore producing cells called basidia.

From a structural point of view, the mushroom is an efficient reproductive body. The cap acts as a domed shield protecting the underlying gills from the damaging effects of rain, wind and sun. Covering the gills in many species is a well developed layer of tissue called the partial veil which extends from the cap margin to the stem. Spores start falling from the gills just before the partial veil tears. After the partial veil has fallen, spores are projected from the gills in ever increasing numbers.

The cap is supported by a pillar-like stem That elevates the gills above ground where the spores can be carried off by the slightest wind currents. Clearly, every part of the mushroom fruitbody is designed to give the spores the best opportunity to mature and spread in an external environment that is often harsh and drastically fluctuating. As the mushroom matures, spore production slows and eventually stops. At this time mushrooms are in their last hours of life. Soon decay from bacteria and other fungi sets in, reducing the once majestic mushroom into a soggy mass of fetid tissue that melts into the ground from which it sprung.

Most mushrooms produce spores that are uninucleate and genetically haploid (1N). This means each spore contains one nucleus and has half the complement of chromosomes for the species. Thus spores have a "sex" in that each has to mate with mycelia from another spore type to be fertile [thus to germinate] for producing offspring. When spores are first released they are fully inflated "moist" cells that can easily germinate. Soon they dehydrate, collapsing at their centers and in this phase they can sit dormant Through long periods of dry weaTher or severe drought. When weather conditions provide a sufficiently moist environment, the spores rehydrate and fully inflate. Only then is germination possible.

Spores within an individual species are fairly constant in their shape and structure. However, many mushroom species differ remarkably in their spore types. Some are smooth and lemon shaped (in the genus Copelandia, for instance); many are ellipsoid (as in the genus Psilocybe); while others are highly ornamented and irregularly shaped (such as (hose in Lactarius or Entoloma}. A feature common to the spores of many mushrooms, particularly the psilocybian species, is the formation of an apical germ pore.

The germ pore, a circular depression at one end of the spore, is the site of germination from which a haploid strand of mycelium called a hypha emanates. This hypha continues to grow, branches and becomes a mycelial network. When two sexually complementary hyphal networks intercept one another and make contact, cell walls separating the two hyphal systems dissolve and cytoplasmic and genetic materials are exchanged. Erotic or not, this is "mushroom sex". Henceforth, all resulting mycelium is binucleate and dikaryotic. This means each cell has two nuclei and a full complement of chromosomes. With few exceptions, only mated (dikaryotic) mycelia is fertile and capable of producing fruitbodies. Typically, dikaryotic mycelia is faster running and more vigorous than unmated, monokaryotic mycelia. Once a mycelium has entered into the dikaryophase, fruiting can occur shortly thereafter. In Psilocybe cubensis, the time between spore germination and fruitbody initials can be as brief as two weeks; in some Panaeolus species only a week transpires before mushrooms appear. Most mushroom species, however, take several weeks or months before mushrooms can be generated from the time of spore germination.

Cultivators interested in developing new strains by crossing single spore isolates take advantage of the occurrence of clamp connections to tell whether or not mating has taken place. Clamp connections are microscopic bridges that protrude from one adjoining cell to another and are only found in dikaryotic mycelia. Clamps can be readily seen with a light microscope at 100-400X magnification. Not all species form clamp connections. (Agaricus brunnescens does not; most all Psilocybe and Panaeolus species do). In contrast, mycelia resulting from haploid spores lack clamps. This feature is an invaluable tool for the researcher developing new strains.

Two dikaryotic mycelial networks can also grow together, exchange genetic material and form a new strain. Such an encounter, where two hyphal systems fuse, is known as anastomosis. When two incompatible colonies of mycelia meet, a zone of inhibited growth frequently forms. On agar media, this zone of incompatibility is visible to the unaided eye.

"

[999-roses]

SMSKSKSKSKSKSKSKS CHEN WHEN YOU SAID “BOBA LIB” IN THAT TAG I SCREAMED PLS WHY DOES IT FIT SO WELL

screams in the mortifying ordeal of being seen

well. 'boba lib' is a term that exists... but i didn't come up with it. i dont know where it originates from tho (like idk if it's a 4chan or reddit pejorative, but whoever came up with it doesn't get to solely dictate how it's used or what it means). i never personally identified with it but i see my past thinking/behavior as aligning under that label. anyway imo tread lightly with its use

lmao i ranted too long and hit tumblr's tags per post ceiling. i should probably make my own post since my rant has nothing in particular to do with swk//disney's recent 'asian representation' sanitization, and the point(s) i wanted to make the most was truncated at the tail end

(i'll edit and clean this up if/when i actually make my own post;;; engage with culture not solely consumption. don't alienate or tokenize 'what it means to be diaspora' by enclosing that to a monolith/specific kind of diaspora, and by that i am not that limiting to 'AAPI shouldn't be a willy-nilly mashup monolith' nor to dismantling the 'model minority'/'x excellence' standard. bringing it back to culture: learn a language other than english, or re-engage with learning your mothertongues no matter how rusty you are because it's never too late or too embarrassing to relearn. internalized racism is real but staring, paralyzed, at your issues, how you were inoculated, how you're retraumatized can be a neverending loop... but it would certainly be worse to never address it. if you (re)learn your native language, it allows you to reengage with culture especially the culture back in 'the old country' that is moving forward, regardless of what you might think. if you're fortunate to have access to media produced in your native language, that's a decent place to start, outside of family members. yes, language can be utilized as a barrier to keep people out (particularly those who don't want to actually learn to engage with a culture on the culture's terms), but in most cases, language is not an impossibly tall fence, there are ladders for people who want to put the effort into trying climb it. and, ultimately, language is a place that culture calls home. find pride in becoming/being/doing rather than being seen or championed [by white people].

and for (white) people who want to try harder not being surface-level or purely performative, the ladder is open for you to climb, or at least it is for chinese language and culture, since I can't speak to the openness of anyone else's cultures. learn our languages, and not just honorifics, i mean the whole kit, grammar, conversational etiquette, how we divide the color spectrum, common idioms, referential and influential literature. speak with us in our terms. <- thinking about this paragraph/whole discussion;; i have no say on what indigenous first nations or formerly enslaved people want or should do; their historical circumstances are far different from mine, resulting in if they have a language other than english for their cultures to call home. if they wish to remain culturally and linguistically closed (like I've heard expressed about AAVE) then other people should respect that)