#Is this a porno—*gets stabbed*

[zappedbyzabka]

NEVER FORGET

[dirt-str1der]

He was so fucking scared , look at his face

[hazbinhazmeinachokehold]

The gang + powerful overlord reader who is trying to reform

A/n: Tbh I don't have the strongest grasp on what makes an overlord an overlord but I tried. Everything here is platonic!

Warning: Very slight alluding to suicide. It's in one sentence and not supposed to be about suicide but I just wanted to warn y'all in case.

(Not beta read!)

You honestly didn't want to be an overlord. But if you had some power maybe the citizens of hell would leave you alone. And you were admittedly powerful. Which wasn't by your own doing, just like in the living world everything was down to luck. And you won the lottery. So you decided to spend the money and became an overlord. Just to lower the chance of demons pestering you.

It worked. It worked too well. You took out a few overlords, it was dirty. You caught them off guard in the middle of going about their life. You don't keep up with politics. To your surprise, you took out two heavy hitters. Which did result in people not pestering you. But not just that it resulted in them outright avoiding you. You didn't feel good about killing them, you just killed as many as you thought would need to make you noteable. If you had just killed the two it would have removed more unnecessary deaths that you caused.

People would literally light themselves on fire rather than be near you. Out of fear of what gruesome way you would kill them. Not that you would kill them but rumors spread. It went from you just stabbing the overlords to torturing them in the most messed up way possible. You being this insanely powerful and sadistic being. That was the only way they could imagine you killing some of the most powerful creatures in hell.

So it was like that for years. As you were walking around the death and carnage you didn't mean to cause. Amidst all the screams you heard a TV playing. You check it out and it was some sort of ad. You recognized Angel from Val. Whenever Velvet was the one to show up at meetings she would always manage to bring up her and the other Vee's social media presence. Which with Val would involve his pornos. At least he's able to escape from that prick sometimes. Despite the glitch he was somehow causing and his face being hidden you also recognized Alastor.

You didn't know much about your colleague's personal lives. You barely showed up at the meeting but this piqued your interest. But it was quickly cut off by the news.

"Breaking news in hell today!" One of the broadcasters, Katie, spoke, "We have just received word from the Heaven embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before!"

Well fuck you guess. You were never worried about exterminations. Not only did you have a safe area then none of the angels seemed to visit, if they killed you you'd be out of this dumpster fire. Granted you could go to an even worse dumpster fire but you didn't know that for sure.

But you were interested in whatever that first ad was for. Granted everyone was panicking so it wasn't like you could ask anyone about it. However, the news cut right back to the ad.

"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!" A woman with an x over her eye spoke.

It cut to Husk (Who you've only heard snippets about from Alastor.) and Angel.

"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel." Husk's eyes lingered below him. Clearly reading a script. If his eyes didn't give it away his monotone voice certainly did. "Can I help you with anything?"

"I've been a bad boy. And I need a big strong daddy to put me in my place." Angel moaned. There was a slight sigh coming from behind the camera. Okay ew. You were not trying to see porn while going for a walk. Just as you were about to walk away Angel spoke up again, "On the path to redemption!"

Oh! That sounded... quite nice actually. You didn't exactly believe in the idea. But a chance to get away and even a chance to redeem yourself was a very nice idea.

You went to the hotel's door and racked against the door. Which was kind of stupid. Hotel doors don't need to be knocked on but it still felt like the right thing to do. The fucking princess of hell herself opened the door with a somewhat panicky smile plastered on her face.

"Hello-" She bit her lip "One second." She left but left the door open a creek, "Vaggie it happened again!" She yelled you could hear the rest of what she was saying but you saw a red glow approaching the door.

Before you knew what was happening your hand (and whole body was being shaken by the Radio demon himself, "Why hello y/n!" His staticky voice greeted, "Are you here to watch this wayward adventure fail as well? Or perhaps you aim to entertain it?" Alastor unnerved you. While you were the same on power level he was unpredicted any vengeful thoughts he had were hidden behind his smile.

He was gently pushed away by Charlie. "So sorry about the wait, just wasn't expecting another powerful overlord." She vaguely gestured to Alastor, "So do you want to check in?" Her voice was cautiously hopeful.

"Yep!"

Her eyes turned the size of saucers, "OK! Great so um sorry I'm just so excited! You can go choose your room! A few are already occupied by our guests and staff! But it's pretty easy to tell which rooms are taken." She rambled. As she guided you through the hotel the woman with an x over her eye pointed a spear at you as you passed by.

A short one-eyed girl scattered around. The exact opposite of how she was in the ad. She stabbed a bug with a whole knife getting dangerously close to Husk being at the end of her knife in the process.

Angel glanced at you and any color his already pure white face had drained. Uh oh.

"One minute." You said and walked over to the spider demon, "Fyi just to let you know I also want to kill Val. Just say the word and I might finally be able to go through with it." You said in a hushed voice. He was still tense but visibly relaxed.

You soon found a room and got somewhat set up. You'd have to bring some stuff from your house tomorrow. But today you decided to just collapse onto your bed. While your first impressions weren't of a super chill place, it did give the impression of a family. Maybe your life wouldn't be so much of a living hell here.

[halfmoonaria]

not allowed

pairing: prof!sam carpenter x student!female reader

summary: sam does something thats certainly not allowed.

words: 2k

warnings: age gap, sexual content, language.

Sam's love life was completely dull and uneventful, it was something she's very self aware of.

It was almost tragic how lonely she was.

Although she knew she should have had an active love life; being a professor brought opportunities for intellectual conversations, networking events, and collaborative projects, which should've brought at least some kind of connections to her.

But it didn't.

All of Sam's colleagues were polite and all, but they were all so much older than her, she couldn't find herself relating to relate to any of them.

And besides, dating wasn't her thing. Since the last time she had thought she found the right person, she almost ended up dead along with her sister.

Sam could never trust anyone enough to date them. All the blame for the lack of trust rested on her previous psycho ex.

Richie had left a scar on her body, and it wasn't in the form of a stab wound.

Despite the loneliness and the lack of company, Sam loved her job.

She loved the subject she was teaching, and her colleagues were actually pretty decent.

The biggest bonus was that she got a good paycheck. She didn't have to work two jobs that could barely pay the rent for her and Tara's apartment.

And to Sam's own surprise and satisfaction, the students didn't seem to whisper about her or spread the rumors that had been on the internet ever since the murders in Woodsboro.

Most of Sam's classes were filled with jocks, party-goers or just genuinely stupid people. After all, the school she taught at had a reputation for attracting a more socially-oriented crowd rather than focusing on academic excellence.

Sam wasn't really the kind of teacher that had a big connection with her classes, sure she would crack awkward jokes in class occasionally and greet them in the hall, but no more than that.

It never felt important to her, she was there to teach, to work and to get her salary.

But then there was you.

Sam never payed attention to the people that entered the classroom, or on what place they chose to sit in for the rest of the lesson. But with you, she did.

You had caught her attention the second her eyes got in contact with your figure. It had been when she was about to introduce herself in front of the class, her first day.

The way you had looked at her when she spoke didn't make you seem like the cocky or popular type, however the outfits you chose to wear to school told her otherwise.

Skirts that were either the size of a belt or skirts that would totally show your entire ass if you bent over the slightest. And if it wasn't minimal skirts it was low waisted jeans that showed the top of your underwear.

Tiny and tight crop tops that would show the exact outline and shape of your breasts.

Sam was shocked when she found out the college didn't have a dress code, since it allowed students like you to dress like models straight out from a 90s porno.

Based on the choice of clothing you thought was school appropriate, made Sam think that you were one of those popular mean girls that she used to absolute gush over in high school.

But you didn't seem to be like that. Sure, you were popular, but that was because of your prettiness, not because you were rude or that people were scared of you. Because in fact, nobody was scared of you.

You were loyal. You were friends with technically everyone, including the teachers.

From what Sam had seen in the halls and in the classroom, you always had a smile on your face, greeting everyone you saw with a wave and the smile that looked as if the person you were talking to had hung the stars.

Sam thought it was impressive how much beauty can do for a person. The way everybody loved you because you were pretty, everybody.

Although Sam didn't think much about your scandalous outfits or the way you admired Sam every time she made eye contact with you during briefings.

Not until you had began to walk towards her desk after class had been finished.

The way you would call her 'Mrs Carpenter'. Just like you should've, just like everyone else did, yet it sounded so different.

At first it had only been a simple question about an assignment, but then you started to stop by after every single lesson.

Sam tried to act like normal, responsible. But it was almost impossible when you would slightly lean forward, basically forcing Sam's gaze to your chest. Your hushed and low voice did it for her as well. You talked as if it was secret, as if nobody else was allowed to hear.

She was starting to think that it was all on purpose, that it was all because you wanted a better grade that you couldn't accomplish by yourself.

Sam knew for a certain that she wouldn't give in, she wouldn't give in because you tried to 'flirt' with her, it might've worked with your other professors but it definitely wouldn't work with her.

Sam was stubborn and incredibly obstinate, but she was also very insecure, alongside having no self respect. Most times when she would tell herself to avoid doing something, her lack of confidence would make her do it regardless.

Weeks passed and you didn't stop. You asked Sam for help after every single class.

You spoke to her in a flirty and hushed voice,  Sam had tried to talk back normally, but she would be lying if she couldn't hear her own voice sounding flirty as well.

Sam didn't know what she was doing, you were her student. But you made it so incredibly difficult for her to act like it.

You were gorgeous, model material. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was that you were aware of it, you knew how pretty you were, you knew exactly how to act around people to get your way.

She couldn't understand what was happening, but when you were with her, Sam felt this subtle flutter whenever you approached or just looked at her.

Sam had never felt that feeling before, not even when she was with Richie.

So instead of telling herself you did that with all your teachers, she began thinking that maybe, just maybe you did it because you actually liked her. Even though it wasn't allowed.

Sam was starved. Not from food starvation or hunger, but from love and touch. And she knew it was wrong to think that way when it was about you, it was so wrong.

But it was just thoughts right? Nobody could hear them.

That's what she had thought, but it was like you could read her mind.

Your attempts of trying to make Sam give in got more and more intense. You would touch her hands, standing close up to her and compliment her.

Eventually, Sam's mouth had moved faster than her mind could process. She had accepted your request for her to tutor you.

Sam knew that you didn't actually want tutoring, you were passing the subjects enough to graduate, unlike everybody else in your class. She knew that this was your attempt to flirt even more.

She knew she should've cancelled. The thought still haunted her, what would've happened if she did? Everything would've been so different.

However, Sam didn't cancel. And it turned out exactly like she thought it would.

You had insisted to sit beside her, and not in front of her. You would make sure your arms touched, that you spoke closely to her ear, you would bite your lips and toe flirt with her.

You were bold, so bold that it made you look hotter than Sam thought was possible.

Sam was desperate for something to change so she wouldn't feel the desire to be touched. Her body was craving a touch that wasn't from herself, not from anybody but you.

She felt disgusted by her own thoughts, every single thought her mind managed to convey was about you.

Next thing she knew, your lips had landed on hers. And Sam just couldn't pull away, her mind wasn't working properly. She had kissed you back.

But when her mind started to fall back in place, she pulled away, panic rushing through her as she had scanned the place, making sure nobody had seen it.

She had kissed her student, in a library. A public library.

Her mind had done this before. When she had been on top of Richie, knife going in and out of his chest, blood being the only thing that could be seen. It was like a blackout, Sam didn't know what she was doing, but at the same time, she knew exactly. But it had felt too good to stop. Just like it had been with you.

When you got the confirmation of Sam wanting the same thing, you had pulled her into the bathroom stall, where Sam couldn't help but kiss you just as hungrily as she had done in her disgusting thoughts.

Nothing mattered when your hands were roaming her body. The fact that you were her student and she was your teacher didn't seem to matter at all in that moment.

Sam couldn't understand what her mind was doing to her. This was like another one of those blackouts, where she couldn't think about the consequences of the things she was doing.

Like now, when she found herself in her own bed tangled up in the sheets, with you next to her.

Bare.

Her mind was all over the place. Thoughts racing through her mind like the traffic in New York, making her head feel like it was about to explode.

She couldn't show you the panic she was feeling about the whole situation. Because that would make you think she regretted it. And she didn't, god no she didn't.

You were so gentle yet bold at the same time. You made sure to ask for permission before doing everything, but you did everything so well.

Your touch was everything Sam's body had craved for months, it was nothing like she had done before. Your touch basically boiled on her skin.

You worshipped Sam in ways she didn't even know existed. The ways you touched her felt so good that she couldn't begin to understand what you were doing.

It had all felt so good that Sam could barely remember it. She remembered moaning, she remembered the satisfaction in it all; the warmth, the passion and the wetness.

Looking down at your figure laying against her, legs tangled up in each other, to see that your eyes were already on her. Your beautiful eyes filled with curiosity and admiration was inspecting her face, fingers smoothly running through her hair.

"What're you thinking about?" Your voice came out as a whisper, voice cracking from the lack of talking; words had not been the priority just minutes before.

When Sam made eye contact with you, all the worries faded away. She could be fired because of this, because of you, yet you were the person who could make the worries bluntly disappear.

Sam's lips curled into a gentle smile when she looked at you, bringing up her finger to subtly caress your cheek. "That this won't help you get a better grade.." She lied, a faint laugh escaping from her lips.

You smirked up at her before planting a kiss on her lips. "Please Mrs Carpenter. I promise I'll do better next time." Sarcasm laced your voice, and if Sam hadn't heard that, she would be panicking.

The fact that you had called her 'Mrs Carpenter' made her stomach twirl, sparkles flying around in it. Just like it had done when you moaned it a few minutes ago.

Although the twirls quickly turned into guilt. She shouldn't be doing this, she shouldn't be in bed with you, let alone be in her own apartment with you.

It truly didn't matter how many excuses she tried to make for herself, it wasn't right, and she should've been disgusted with herself.

She was a professor at a college who had fucked her student. And for obvious reasons, that just wasn't allowed.

[muertawrites]

Inked (Eddie x Reader x Punk!Steve) [18+]

Summary: tattoos hurt. thankfully your artist is chill about the way you distract yourself from the pain.

Warnings: 18+ minors dni, oral (fem receiving), vouyerism, exhibitionism, male masturbation, explicit descriptions of sex and pain

Read Time: 7 mins

This is possibly the most painful thing you've ever felt. It stings, it burns, and the tip of the gun feels like it's digging under your skin and against the bone beneath. Eddie hisses.

"You're holding me too tight, baby."

You look over to where your hand is gripped around his wrist, fingers white as they curl into his flesh. You release your hold and there are little moon-shaped grooves etched in his skin, blooming red and threatening to bleed.

Steve stops tattooing.

You're laying on the bench in his home studio, having offered yourself as a guinea pig to help him practice working on people for his apprenticeship. He's doing a sternum piece for you, sprawled out over your naked chest while Eddie sits on your other side, one hand massaging your breast while the other gets itself impaled by your clawing grip. It hurts way more than you expected it to. You're lightheaded and nauseous, and your whole body is clammy and feverish. You feel like you might faint.

Steve nervously bites his lip, his gloved thumb stroking over some of the excess ink.

"... It looks really good already," he attempts to console you. "Do you need to take a break?"

You close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Eddie's hand that cups your breast gives it a gentle squeeze, rolling your nipple between two of his fingers. You moan softly, and all at once you're inspired.

You turn to Steve, asking the question before you can psych yourself out.

"Do you mind if Eddie fucks me?"

The men blink at each other, bewildered. Neither of them says anything for a moment.

"Please," you beg. "It hurts so fucking much and I'm already topless. I think it'll help. I don't want to faint."

Steve stares at Eddie, who stares back at Steve. After a tense pause, Steve shrugs.

"Listen, man, if she's cool with it, I'm cool with it. Just don't move her too much."

Eddie looks down at you, his hand moving to stroke through your hair.

"Is that really what you want, sweetheart?"

He sounds concerned, but the brightness in his eyes and the growing stiffness in his jeans give him away. He's eager. Excited. He gets to bring his favorite pornos to life, and all because it was your idea. This is like Christmas.

You nod, giggling softly.

"Yes, Eddie, just do it. Before I change my mind."

He wastes no time, springing up from his chair and positioning himself at the end of the bench, his hands finding the waistband of your leggings and rolling them down. Steve watches, letting out a soft breath when Eddie exposes your hips, your thighs, the luscious patch of pubic hair between your legs. You grin up at him, gently tapping a finger against his chin.

"Stevie," you remind him. "My tattoo."

He gives you a suave, easy smile as he meets your eyes, a feature left over from his time as a high school womanizer. His cheeks are pink, his pupils consuming his pretty brown irises.

"Right," he chuckles. "Sorry."

He starts up the gun again, and Eddie's tongue finds your clit, pressing flat against you as Steve resumes his work on your chest, the needle stabbing its way back into your skin. The pain is eclipsed by the swirling of Eddie's tongue, the pucker of his lips as he dives in and starts sucking. You moan, focusing on the tingling between your thighs.

"That better?" Steve asks, smirking.

You nod.

"Way better."

Eddie grips your thighs, slinging your legs over his shoulders as he laps and sucks at you, the lewd, wet noises echoing off the walls. You can feel your wetness dripping down your buttocks as he works you towards orgasm. He gazes up at you through his lashes, his cock twitching when he doesn't meet your eyes or your breasts but instead sees Steve leaned over you, glancing his way. Eddie grins.

"How much longer, Harrington?" he wonders.

His lips and chin are glossy. Steve swallows heavily.

"About halfway," he answers.

Eddie nods. He stands, making quick work of his button and zipper and freeing his cock, running his shaft teasingly up the length of your pussy. Steve pauses to watch, his mouth slack at the way you coat Eddie's shaft, how easily it glides against you. Eddie grins as he taps the head of his cock against your clit.

"Her pussy's divine, man," he boasts. "Maybe instead of a tip she'll let you have a taste."

He winks at Steve, his hands moving to your hips as he eases inside of you, letting out a quiet moan. His features contort with the pleasure, succumbing to the heat of your slick walls. He starts to thrust, slow and deep, taking care not to shift you at all so Steve has a stable canvas; his palm presses to your stomach for support.

Steve stares, his cock pressing painfully against the leg of his jeans. After a moment he snaps himself out of it and goes back to work, painfully aware of how close he is to your breasts.

You whimper as Eddie fucks you, gripping the sides of the bench to keep yourself still. Eddie's cock pressing deep inside you, Steve's hot breath fanning over your nipple, the depravity of letting him see you naked and vulnerable has you panting, whining, crying for more. The pain of your sternum tattoo is easily forgotten.

Eddie fucks you for half an hour. Steve fills out the lines of your tattoo, then goes back over them again where they're not dark enough, pausing every so often to watch Eddie plow into you. At one point, you reach your hand between Steve's thighs and palm at him, feeling a rush as he bites his lip to keep from moaning. He whispers that you can take him out if you want. You do, and you haphazardly stroke his cock as he finishes the piece, surprisingly concentrated despite rolling his hips into your palm.

When the tattoo is finished, Steve steps away and lets you and Eddie finish as well. He leans against the counter as Eddie bends over you, his mouth latched to your neck as he rails you with unrelenting force until you cum around him, clenching him tightly and moaning as pleasure shakes your body; he follows close behind. You turn your head and watch as Steve touches himself, pulling on his cock until he reaches his own orgasm, spilling creamy ropes all over his stomach, thighs, and the floor. The skin between your legs is soaked.

Eddie helps Steve clean up while you come to your senses, laying on the bench in a dreamy, fucked out haze as Steve dresses your new tattoo and Eddie wipes the residue of sex off of you, himself, and the furniture. When you finally sit up, you look at Steve and laugh breathlessly, thanking him for a good time.

"How much do I owe you?" you ask.

He shakes his head.

"On the house," he says. He grins. "The private show was payment enough."

🎸eddie masterlist🎸

[mysticmunson]

first base; eddie munson

prompt: going steady with eddie munson meant a lot of thing, but you couldn't have guessed his version of first base.

word count: 1.8k

warnings: perverted, filming sex, teasing including name-calling, domination and submission, fuck machines, let me know if i missed anything :)

an: sooooo this was written in one sitting after seeing the amazing @mypoisonedvine drabble, and it's a top tier kink for me so i figured i'd take a stab at it :p feedback is always appreciated

“You want me to do what?”

Going steady with Eddie Munson meant a lot of things. It included going to his band's concerts, learning more about Dungeons and Dragons than you ever thought you would, and dealing with his outlandish personality. All these things made you like him even more.

The decision to take it slow wasn’t a vocalized one, but you guys had been together for about 3 months and hadn’t had sex yet, with a lot of just making out and fondling that lead to frustration on each end. 

While you knew Eddie had a bit of a perverted mind, you had come across his stash of magazine cut outs and a few pornos, but this wasn’t something you were expecting, not opposed to though.

“Does that sound fun to you or…” He questioned, sitting on the bed, fiddling with a packet of cigarettes. You stood still as the question rang through for a moment, “Was wondering if I could tie you up and toy fuck you, maybe even film it?”

It was almost like he thought you wouldn’t hear despite being a mere foot away, but you couldn’t lie, the thought was enticing. 

“Okay.”

A twisted grin decorated his face as he stood, grabbing you to push you on the bed. You watched as he grabbed the pair of handcuffs from his wall, whistling absentmindedly as he opened his closet pulling out an odd machine with a dildo attached.

“Don’t even worry about it, this is like my version of first base.” He beamed, but you rolled his eyes at his comment, in what world would this be first base.

“Eddie! What the-” The words fell off as you sat up, shocked at his gadget that he was positioning at the end of the bed, “Where did you even get this?”

“I got real bored in shop class.” He remarked, watching you wince against his sheets, licking his lips already.

“You’re such a perv.” You whispered, his hand coming to your head to lean back, planting a sloppy kiss on your forehead.

“But I’m your perv.” 

Once he helped get your clothes off, the first time fully seeing you naked, he groaned. You laid on the bed as he put cuffs on your hands to his bed frame, stretching you out. Your body was on fire with nerves at this exposure still foreign to your relationship, but even he could see how wet you were getting. 

“Be a good girl and I won’t have to tie your feet down.” He taunted, grasping his new video camera with his left hand, sauntering towards you. You remembered how excited he was to get that, had he been planning this for a while?

His eyes turned soft as his face went closer to yours, kissing you gently, “Let me know if it’s too much, okay? Say the word ‘grapefruit’.”

You nodded, giving him one last peck before he stood up straight, strutting to the end of his mattress. You were all spread for him, the plastic cock just a few centimeters from your wet pussy, he was a bit jealous the material object was getting some before he did. 

His finger flicked the machine on, beginning with long and slow strokes, a gasp falling from your mouth at the intrusion. The camera beeped as he turned it on, focusing on where you connected to his old project. 

“You’re fucking dripping already, look at that.” He gawked, seeing how the toy shined when it would leave you. You whimpered at his words, forcing your eyes open to watch the fully clothed man shove the lens near you.

He backed up, using his right hand to turn it up a notch, watching it bounce faster. He smirked at your already withering demeanor. You were always put together around everyone, but he knew by the end of this, you wouldn’t have an ounce of composure.

“Such a good girl for me, hm? Letting me play with you before we even have sex?” He cooed, trailing the recorder up your frame before he cupped your cheek. You attempted to look away from the red light, but he kept his palm firm.

“Tell me, sweetheart. What does it feel like?” He interrogated, hand leaving your face to palm the growing erection under his jeans. The toy was then upped a notch by Eddie, camera still near your face as you inhaled sharply.

“It feels good, thank you.” You stuttered as it hit your deepest point with a loud moan. He went back to the foot of the bed, turning it up again as you whined, feeling your legs jitter. You could feel his gaze on you along with the silver camera, documenting your every move. 

You threw your head back as the plastic tip prodded at a certain angle, wetness trailing down your lips. His finger danced across your navel before combing through your tuft of hair, yanking gently to make you jolt. He laughed at your reaction, pulling on the coarse hair again to hear your pained whine.

“Look at that cunt, you’re taking it so well. Almost want a taste.” He declared, using his free hand to push your thighs further apart, feet planted on the opposite sides of his lower mattress. 

“Please” You begged, clit throbbing at the idea of his mouth anywhere near you. You had spent night after night imagining Eddie destroying you to tears, fucking you gently then hard, but you couldn’t have guessed that the little pervert wanted to see you fucked by a dildo first.

“Is that what you want? Want my mouth?” He was met with a drawn out cry before inching closer, stopping right above your throbbing bud. He breathed hot air onto it, making you shiver with anticipation and tug at the metal holding your hands up. 

He put his tongue flat against where you needed him most, holding the camera at an awkward placement to get your face in frame as you weeped tearlessly. Managing to reach his other hand beside him, he turned it up two more notches, pulling away to see it thrusting in and out at an intense speed. 

He sucked your bundle of nerves, letting his spit help him glide across the already silky skin. The toy occasionally grazed his skin as he adjusted his mouth, making him wish he had extra hands to stroke his cock at the sight.

He rose to watch you convulse, giving an insincere pout as he watched your hip flick up in the air. 

“You still need your clit played with, baby?” He cooed without an ounce of compassion, just pure arrogance as he watched your eyes haze with need. You nodded quickly, spreading your legs even further by bending them at the knees. 

Mimicking your moan as he rubbed your clit, exaggerating his face to further embarrass you, shoving the camera closer to your flushed face. 

“You’re so greedy, you can’t just accept getting fucked, can you?” He taunted, keeping his fingers at the same speed as the toy, the coil in your lower stomach blossoming. The way he was speaking to you should have made you angry, but it only made you more soaked.

He pulled his fingers up and slid them in your mouth, watching you suck them. He moaned, the same hand going to palm himself through his pants again. 

“Eddie.” You cried, watching himself grasp his cock made your mouth water, which didn’t go unnoticed.

“Awe, you wanna see my dick?” He teased, unbuckling with one hand and shoving his pants down. Once his length was in your sight, your back arched as you got closer. 

It bobbed against him as he turned up the device again, making your orgasm feel on the tip of your tongue. You began babbling incoherent pleas as he stroked himself, watching the precum gather at his tip.

He walked to you wordlessly and spat in your mouth, “Are you gonna come, all because I’m jerking off? You’re so pathetic, tell the camera, tell it how you're just a pathetic slut.” He commanded, shoving it in your face as you forced your eyes to stay open.

“I’m a pathetic slut, I’m a pathetic slut.” You quivered, body shaking as you approached your finish. Your mind began to get cloudy as it cusped, but you yelled as he turned it up even higher. You could hear his laughter at your distraught state, making you finally orgasm. But it felt different, it was more wet than you had ever experienced on your own. 

He set the device upon the machine, getting your whole body into frame

“Look at you,” He growled, yanking your hair up so you looked into the lens, “You fucking soaked my bedsheets, squirted, all cause you’re such a whore who can’t control herself. I do something nice and you do this.” 

You wept as the speed maintained its intense pace, the lewd noise of the fake balls hitting your soaked skin filled the room. He reached his hand down to smack your clit, watching as your release shot up at the friction. 

“What? Can you not handle it?” He scoffed, grinning nonetheless as he saw tears come down your cheeks, “Awe, crying about it? Just a dumb baby?”

You agreed, aches cascading against your frame at the overstimulation, “I’m a dumb baby.”

Pleased by your response, he stood again, backing out of the frame and getting off. He bit his lip as you squirmed from pleasure and pain, he felt his own finish reaching, making him pause. He glanced at your swollen cunt, watching it clench, knowing you were almost there.

“Alright, pretty girl, let it out.” He encouraged, turning the knob up all the way as you screamed, chest heaving at the pace. He quickened the hand on his cock, mimicking the intensity he was witnessing, muttering random words. 

The band snapped as white ropes covered his hand with a moan making you finish again while bawling, seeing his release slip to the floor. Taking a moment to clear his brain, he was snapped out by your yelp. He shut off the camera and then the machine, pulling you off and placing you in his lap. 

Sitting across, he tucked you in his chest and rocked you with soft hushing. Your body buzzed with the aftershocks, feeling so empty after being so full. 

“You did so good, I’m so proud of you.” He praised, stroking your hair as you thanked him, looking up to kiss him. 

Remaining seated until you calmed down, he eventually got you dressed and put all his equipment away. You insisted you could walk, but he carried you to the couch to rest while he changed the sheets.

“I didn’t even know I could do that.” You divulged while he placed the soaked bedding in the washer, he smirked and slammed the door shut to start it.

“I’m just that good.” He boasted, flopping next to you and pulling you in his lap. 

“You’re still a perv though.”

“Yeah, but I’m your perv.”

an: oooo this makes me nervous to post lol, enjoy weirdos, dont judge

@steeldaisies @meaganjm @masterofmunson @downbythebay4 @wicked-wordy-witchy-witch @femalefilmaker @wiltedwonderland @yourthebrokengirl @jessyballet @iheartyouyou @gloryekaterina @missscarlettangel @variety-fangirl @wigglywoos59 @imsuchafriggensimp @thegirlblogstuff @lovelyladymayyy @strawwberrry @ktjmac @dovesnrosesnreblogs @fknemily @spn-obession @diaryofthedoll  @imagine-all-the-imagines

[mouthfulloftoothpasterry]

A Dark Love

Summary: Two murders on the run in the 70’s fall in love.

Warnings: enemies to lovers, murder, death obvi, gore, smut, knife kink, blood kink, mentions of cannibalism, lots of angst,just a warning this is kind of heavy! So if you don’t feel comfy don’t read ❤️‍🔥

Wc:3.8k

Y/n is sure that man is watching her every move. Either that, or it’s her paranoia building up after being on the run for ten days. 

Ten whole days without a single cop glancing her way, after murdering two men at a bar she thought they would at least have a lead on her, but nothing. Nothing for a whole year. Since the news broke of several different men carelessly slashing women, Y/n has decided if men can kill women for no good reason, she can kill men for no reason. It’s better to have no men on the planet than only a few good ones. 

Her first was Tommy. Thirty two, blue eyes, brown hair, two hundred and three pounds, born January fourth nineteen forty two. He lives alone in a two bedroom apartment, his room filled with porno mags and disgusting memorabilia of past girls he obsessed over until his last moment. 

Y/n met him behind a bar just ten hours after the news about Lynda Ann Healy broke. Y/n was so disgusted and horrified that she fell into a spell once he tried pulling her back into his busted Red Ford pinto that she killed him right then and there, pulling the sharp buckle from her belt and stabbing him, walking all the way back home will bright crimson blood dripping from her face.

That night she discovered her new love. She had always adored taking care of herself, taking it slow and appreciating the simple things in life, like a hot bath or a new rose scented face cream- but nothing made her feel quite better than seeing her plump young skin masked in a coat of blood. She felt like she was reborn, branded into a new woman with a new fresh hungry need to kill. 

Since that night she’s been slashing into any man she can, the more bloody the better for her, bathing in the thick blood like it is a luxurious skin cream.  Now she’s up to fifteen bodies. 

“Have a problem?” Y/n calls over, feeling the cool metal of her dagger press into the plump skin of her thigh to make sure it was still right where she wanted it. There was nothing she loved more than leading a man down onto his knees for his last sight to be her uncovering her sharp blade. 

The man is handsome, standing tall with a slim but sturdy build, Tattoos, silky hair piled on top of his head- he obviously hasn’t gotten a haircut in a few months, big green eyes, a mustache dusted above his lip, dressed in some button up shirt with all too tight pants.

 She can have a little fun with him before she kills him. 

“Not at all, sweet thing.” He shoots her a wink before lighting a joint, taking a drag from it then passing it off to her. She pushes it back toward him but takes her place leaning next to him against his shiny blue car. “No thanks.” He lets out a tiny laugh, pulling it back to his mouth instead. “Your loss.” He breathes out, smoke falling from his mouth. 

“I don’t smoke strangers' pot.” Y/n says, glancing up at the man. He smiles, “Then let me introduce myself. I’m Harry. Now we know each other, babe.” She rolls her eyes, stepping back. “I can already tell you’re an asshole.” He tosses his arms out, “c’mon, I don’t bite.” A large smile spreads on his lips, but she ignores it and walks back to the car.

Y/n isn’t quite sure why the man’s stupid words bothered her so much, but she had a feeling about him and something was off. She walks a few feet back to her car before getting inside and starting it up. Shoving the key in and twisting it she realizes the old car finally bit the dust, merely taunting her with a cough but no roar to start. 

Her head turns at the noise, seeing Harry roll up next to her. “Looks like you need a ride.” She rolls her eyes, grabbing her couple of bags and stuffing them in his car before flopping into his passenger seat. The car was stolen so she wouldn’t miss it. 

What’s the worst that could happen? If he tried something she would just plunge her dagger straight into his heart… but she would lose her cool if her favorite corduroy skirt happened to get blood splatter on it. 

“Where are you going?” He asks, glancing over her tight and reserved body language. “Anywhere.” The 

“Seriously, where are you going? I thought we were over that stranger danger shit.” Y/ns rolls her eyes at the man, picking at her manicured nails to avoid his gaze. “I’m just going.” it's his turn to roll his eyes, scoffing at her. “Seriously,”

“Get off my case, asshole. You need to take a chill pill.” 

“I need to chill?! You need to stop being so fucking up tight!” The second he raises his voice at her she spreads her legs and pulls her dagger from the inside of her thigh, gripping it tight in her hand while he throws his up in surrender.``Hey, Hey, Hey” he rushes out, getting her to back off. “Either fuck off or ill slit your throat. It’s up to you Harry.” She says with a sweet smile, her heart racing from the adrenaline pumping through her veins and the excitement of possibly getting a small taste of the pretty boy's blood. 

“Jesus, sorry.” She gives a tiny nod at his apology and backs down, but not before he starts chuckling. “But you wouldnt of stabbed me.'' He raises her hand again, carelessly aiming to just teach him a lesson instead of actually killing him. 

“Fuck!” He shouts, blood pouring from his hand. “Dont get it on my fucking skirt!” she shouts back, groaning at a little drop of blood soaking into her skirt. Harry quickly pulls the silky wrap she had tied around her hair and wraps it around his hand to stop the bleeding. 

After their panic settled they both let out a shaky breath before Harry pulled her in, grabbing her knife and pressing his lips to hers. “That was so fucking hot but if you ever do that again I will kill you.” 

The car is stopped in the middle of the road but that doesn’t stop them from tearing off each other's clothes. She yanks Harry’s button up shirt open while he peels her panties down her legs. She takes her turn and unbuckles his belt, shoving her hand down his pants and pulling his cock out. 

Hushed words are exchanged as she slides his big cock deep inside of her pussy, licking the fresh blood that drips down his wrists as he thrusts in and out of her from under her. 

Harry holds her dagger against her neck, the sharp blade scraping against her delicate skin. She lets out a moan, her mouth and chin covered in his blood. He kisses her, his tongue slipping inside of her mouth to taste her. 

 “I can’t believe you stabbed me.” He laughs on her lips, softly dragging the knife down her throat before pressing it between her breasts. He kisses her one last time before pulling away breathlessly, “if you ever try that again, I promise, I won’t hesitate to kill you.” He presses the tip of the dagger into her chest enough to draw a bit of blood then pulls it away. 

To be clear, Harry has never killed a woman. Really just killing random men, slitting their throats or strangling them when he notices they are following a young girl home, or slipping a pill in someone’s drink, only for good reason. He’s not a psychopath, he’s only murdered 12 people!

“I’m cumming, fuck.” Y/n cums, letting out a moan and pulling herself away from the man.

After they dress themselves, Harry returns to driving, stepping on the gas and riding down the old country road. It was an absolute ghost town, corn fields, boarded up farm houses, and abandoned shops are the only things left in the old town. Y/n loved this. This was the kind of place she could stay in forever, a town where there are little people and no one cares to get to know the tiny population. 

She might consider settling down here, there’s only a gas station and a tiny grocery store, but even those are smaller than the average small town shops. This looked like a lowkey spot to hide out in, or maybe it is something straight out of a horror film- but so is she. 

“Pull over” Y/n finally speaks up after about twenty minutes of driving in silence. There was a tiny yellow motel, paint chipping and graffiti covered all along the exterior. “What?” Y/n rolls her eyes at his questioning she grabs the wheel from him and drives through the grass and into the parking lot of the rundown motel.  “What the fuck?!” Harry yells, quickly putting the car in park. Y/n jumps out before she can hear any of his bitching and walks through the motel and into a check out counter. 

Behind the counter there is a man, a short but sturdy build man with clown makeup on. Any normal person passing through this town and stopping at the motel for a safe place to lay their head for a night would be startled to see such a man behind the counter but this comforted Y/n. If the tall man was anything like her, she knew there wasn’t a chance the cops could bust her here. 

“Howdy… Gus. I’m going to need a room for tonight.” She glances at the big wooden sign that reads “HOWDY” with a large cowboy hat burned into it. She isn’t sure where she is, but wherever she was she knew it was just a bunch of homicidal fucked up hicks. 

“Single bed or two beds?” The man grumbles, a low deep voice coming out of such a short man. “Single bed.” Harry comes behind her, scoffing. “I’m going to need a room too.” 

“Bad news, there’s only one room.” 

“How many beds?” Y/n shoots up, hoping she doesn’t have to deal with this man for god knows how long. Yeah, he was just inside of her thirty minutes ago, but that doesn’t mean she wants anything to do with him. 

“Only one.” Fucking classic. 

“Well you can just keep on steppin’.” Harry shakes his head at her words. “No way, not after you drug me with this hell hole.” Y/n pulls a tight lipped smile, shoving her hand into her pocket aggressively and pulling out some bills and change to slam on the counter before snatching the key from Gus’ hand and stomping off. 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🕸️🕷.𖥔 ݁ ˖

The door flies open while Y/n storms into it, almost hitting Harry with the heavy wooden door. When she takes a quick look-see around the room she is instantly disgusted with the orange shag carpet, the stiff avocado green bedspread and the brightly cartoonish art bolted to the wall. “Well isn’t this just fucking nifty.” She lets out a huff then throws herself back on the bed. 

“You act like I’m not bummed out about this too! But we both need a place to crash and it might as well be with each other since we’re in the same boat. So, if you could stop your whining I’m going to clean up my hand.” 

She looks away, rolling her eyes. “I won’t hesitate to whip out my blade on you again.” He tossed a hand out to her before locking himself in the bathroom. 

Y/n takes this time to unpack her bags, which is really just unzipping them and then tossing them onto the floor. 

She’s not sure why she was drawn to this place, but she had a good feeling about it. Sometimes she regrets hurting all those men, having to live such a quiet life, always being on the move and never stable. But she’s hoping soon enough the investigation will be closed. They have been working to figure out who is behind this string of murders for far too long and she knows if she just sticks it out a little while longer they will give up. She’s sad for the families grieving, but not sad that there is a couple less useless fucks in this already shitty world. 

Hopefully she and Harry will get along. They got off to a rough start, and are still in a rough stop, but she thinks with a little work they could be partners in crime- no that she’s planning on killing any men while she’s in hiding, but if need be. 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🕸️🕷.𖥔 ݁ ˖

“Where did you run off to?” 

Y/n  pushes open the motel door, kicking it shut with her heel and pulling her glass bottle of big red up to her lips for a swig. She dumps the big paper bag onto the entertainment center of the motel room, tossing a bag of chips at the man, then pulling her carton of cigs out and lighting one up. “Convenience store.” She mumbles through her exhale of smoke, flopping back on the squeaky bed where Harry sits up straight. 

“If we’re going to be staying together we need to learn a little bit more about each other.” Y/n rolls her eyes, taking another drag off of her Marlboro. “Why are you suddenly Mister moral? Don’t you like…kill people?” Harry rolls his eyes, he’s grown increasingly agitated with her and if she wasn't such a pretty girl maybe he would kill her. 

“Yeah, bad people. But that’s irrelevant. I hardly know you.” 

“That didn’t stop you from fucking me in your car twenty minutes after we met, even after I stabbed you.” Harry stands up, shaking his head, leaning back and growing out of frustration. “You’ve got a smart fucking mouth.” She gives him a breathy chuckle. “Yeah?” She slowly rises to her feet, ashing her cigarette on the shag carpet and taking another drag from it. “What are you going to do about it?” He takes that as a challenge, grabbing her jaw with his bandaged band, four fingers on one side and his thumb on the other. 

They lock eye contact for a couple of beats before Harry pushes his lips onto her, pushing her down onto the bed and unbuckling his belt. It was already three in the morning, and they both know people are sleeping but no one staying in this hell hole is resting well. She slides down the silky sleep shorts she had slid on along with a tattered graphic tee before heading off to the store. Y/n keeps her eyes on his hands as he pulls his belt off and pushes his trousers down. 

Hushed words are exchanged and before either of them know it Harry is deep inside of her, lifting one leg to get deeper. 

Y/n smiles blissfully, reaching for her dagger she had tossed on the bed and sliding it against his hip bone, making sure not to nick his sensitive skin with her piercing sharp knife. Harry grabs it from her hand, trailing it up her hot body and slowly makes his way up to her neck. He traces the blade around her ear, taking his time before he slides it against the side of her neck, making sure to be soft with her. She annoys the fuck out of him, she has a smart mouth and was too reserved for someone so mouthy, but he cant help but kind of adore her. 

He quickly pulls out of her, cumming all over her pussy. “Oh fuck” she whispers, flopping her head back and relaxing into the bed. 

Harry pushes her shirt up, kissing over her bare chest and trailing it down her stomach. She feels a fluttery feeling in her belly. Similar to how she feels after she comes home prior to slashing into a man, blood spraying all over her face. She gets to stand under the warm spray of her shower, watching the water go from crimson to clear and drain down, giving her skin a good scrub before sitting bare in front of her vanity and pampering herself with rich creams. She feels like she's being taken care of, such a light delicate feeling. 

 He sinks to his knees, spreading her legs wide and burying his face between them. 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🕸️🕷.𖥔 ݁ ˖

“Rise ‘n shine.” Harry sings, shaking Y/n awake. 

Y/n blinks her eyes open, groaning and getting in a good stretch so she's not so stiff. “What's on your face?” Harry's hand comes up to wipe at his face, examining the splatter he wipes off. “Oh, i'm not sure.” he walks into the bathroom, quickly cleaning himself up before stepping back into her vision. 

“I've been thinking a lot this morning.” 

“It’s seven in the morning, how much thinking can you do?” Harry shrugs at her questions, pushing his frankly, fabulous hair back and starting to gather his things together to pack in his hefty leather bag. “Like I was saying, I’ve kind of been thinking… let's leave. Let’s go find some other place to stay.” 

Y/n whips her head back to him whilst she strips naked and starts the water in the pink tiled bathroom. “What the fuck are you talking about? I thought we decided that this was the perfect place to hide out! It’s a fucking ghost town here.” 

Harry rocks back and forth then turns on his heel to start pacing back and forth in front of the messy bed from Y/n tossing and turning all night. “Not to get all weird but I can't talk to you when you're bare naked. it's tripping me out.” She scoffs, “Prude.” then steps into the shower. 

“If you dont mind, make this shower lickety split. I'm itching to get out of this place!” Y/n groans at his nagging, quickly rinsing the shampoo out of her hair and squirting a rather large pile of cream white conditioner into her palm and working it into her hair. “Why are you so impatient? Why cant you take a fucking chill pill.”

“This place is just creeping me out, man. I gotta get out of here.” She groans again, feeling the irritation bubble up and begin to boil over. “We agreed that this is the perfect spot to stay. I'm already settled in. Why leave now?” 

“Enough with all the questions, please.” 

“Why?!” 

“Cause I fucking killed Gus! Okay?! Now please, can you speed this the fuck up so we can get into my goddamn car so we can find some other place to stay?!” Y/n calming but quickly rinses her body off and steps out of the shower, drying herself off much too quickly, basically still dripping wet and she throws the towel into a tiny laundry basket. “What the fuck are you talking about?” Harry throws both of his hands out.

 “Again! Jesus christ can you just put something on?” 

“Oh my god!” She throws a shirt at him, sliding panties up her legs and quickly getting dressed, deciding to go simple with a pair of yellow corduroy flares and a black rolling stones tee shirt tucked into it. “I guess lets fucking go since you decided to murder someone.” She grabs her back and Harry trails right behind her, walking down the long dark hallway. “We're literally on the run to try to get out of murder charges and you decided to kill the dude behind the check-in counter. What the fuck was that for?” Harry grumbles, obviously growing more and more agitated by her never ending questions and attitude. “I dont want to talk about it.” 

They hop in the car, and take off once again. 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🕸️🕷.𖥔 ݁ ˖

They've been driving for a while. 

If Y/n is honest, She’s kind of bummed that they had to leave that motel. At first she was just worried that they would catch wind of another murder and have her and Harry’s name tied to it, but thankfully their records are clean and Gus never took record of their stay. But now, she just misses it. It was a little spooky and there were other sketchy weirdos staying there but that comforted her more than anything. 

Y/n thinks she's feeling a touch homesick, after moving into her previous apartment she finally had a place of her own to call home with no roommate, it was all to herself. Having no sense of stability, only being on the road was kind of messing with her, but as much as she doesnt want to admit it to herself- and especially to him, having Harry as a partner in crime has been really great. 

“So, do you think youll ever go back to wherever you ran from?” Y/n shakes her head, her feet hung out of the window and a cigarette perched between her two fingers. “Nope. kind of starting fresh. Finding a whole new job and shit, a new place to stay. Maybe I’ll be an avon lady.” They both laugh at her joke. “Me too. Now that I've left there's no way I'm going back.” 

“Can I ask you a question and get an honest answer this time?” Harry quickly glances at Y/n, “Sure.” There is a beat of silence before she speaks again. “Why did you kill Gus? I can tell it wasn’t just because he pissed you off. We stayed up talking all last night and you dont kill unless you've got a good reason.” 

“So you want the honest answer?” 

“Yeah” 

“It was because of you.” 

“Me?!” Y/n shouts, she hardly spoke a word to Gus. 

“Yeah, he was telling me how hot he thought you were and for some reason I just kind of… lashed out.” 

Y/n takes a moment to process it, ashing her cigarette and taking one last drag on it before putting it out in the car's ashtray. She clears her throat, “So what, do you think i'm your girlfriend or something now?” 

“Well, if you want. I'm not uptight about shit like that or anything. We can just vibe it out.” Y/n softly laughs. “Okay, lover boy.” 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🕸️🕷.𖥔 ݁ ˖

Y/n and Harry finally found a place to stay. Thankfully, Harry and Y/n both had good money saved up prior to them being on the run so they splurged at a nice hotel and decided to stay in the suite. 

This time, Y/n didn't throw a fit when she had to stay in the same room and same bed as Harry. She lets him be a gentleman and he carries her bag up to their room. This time, its going to be different. This time they are going to stay put,find a spot for them to settle down together- not just in a hotel room. Maybe they will put their lives of crime behind them and stick together as one happy couple. 

Maybe. 

Hiiiii!!!! If you liked this PLEASE reblog!! I’ll love you forever and I doubt a lot of people are going to read this due to sensitive subject matter but hoping this will hit my target audience 😭 im really scared that this got boring towards the middle but it was inspired by house of 1000 corpses! hope you liked it !

Tag list: @harrysddtittys @hopeyoustaythenight @harrysdimple05 @damnasstyles @harrysfolklore @msolbesg @thismaydestroyme @stallrry @ayeshathestyles @michellekstyles @lhharrylilpumpkin @kissmyaxe140 @buckymydarlingangel @cherrycolas-things @luvonstyles @victoria-styles @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite

[blueberrypancakesworld]

NSFW - Alphabet - Charlie Walker

warning : +18, Minors don't interact , it's getting steamy under the cut

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A = Aftercare (how they are after sex)

°It all depends on how the night went. If he was allowed to have you all to himself, he will treat you like a goddess - he does that as well. You don't even have to say it and he will bring it to you, cuddle with you, clean you up or tell you with pink cheeks how good you were to him.

°But if you could have him to yourself, which happens quite often because he naturally gives himself to you almost every night. He will still be there for you, while you reward him with words of praise, he will snuggle up to you, pull the blanket closer to you and be happy that you are there.

°Be prepared for lots of cuddles, kisses and affectionate gestures.

══════════════════════

B = Bodypart (their favourite part of you and them)

°Charlie always thought he was quite pretty, even though he never compared himself to the athletic athletes. He always thought of himself as sweet and rather lovely. If he had to choose, it would be his hands. Whether he would put in a new DVD for the Stab film. Or finally being able to touch you, to feel you. The beauty of your body. That he could embrace you, simply feel you.

°Your body, on the other hand, your whole being is a temple. But even though he loved you completely, it was your breasts that he liked the most. Egall if he watched how your breasts pressed against a tight dress. When he embraced you and felt you pressed against him. When he touched you and how soft and shapely they were under his hands. Or when they moved up and down when you rode him. They were perfect.

══════════════════════

C= Cum (anything to do with cum)

°At first he was a little unsure if he should really come. I'll get to this inhibition and what's behind it later. But when you told him that you were using contraception, there was no stopping him.

°He loves to come inside you when you allow him to take the lead. How he knew and felt how you felt inside.

°It almost seems like something special when he pulls out of you and watches completely fascinated as his cum flows out of you.

°,,So...pretty for me"

══════════════════════

D = Dirty Secret (self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

°A rather open secret of Charlie's is being dominated by you. Since you were in a relationship, this has been a half secret. Listening to you while he kneels in front of you, what you would do to him. The way you'd touch him. He's melting away.

°A fantasy that had stayed with him since he first held the knife, along with his love for the camera. He loved the thought of committing murder, seeing your body covered in blood, your naked body reflected in the camera lens, and you practically making a porno together.

══════════════════════

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

°We all know he was a virgin when you got together. But so were you and together you changed that. One of the most important things to him was the physical contact he had wanted for so long.

°But Charlie was a quick learner and too much of a perfectionist when it came to learning how to make you happy. In no time he knew what to do to give you a perfect night and an incredible orgasm.

══════════════════════

F = Favourite position (without saying you know what it's about)

°Cowgirl = As mentioned before, he loves it when you are literally all over him. When you're riding him, setting the pace, pleasuring yourself and him, when he places his hands on your hips and thighs. Feeling you move, watching your body, listening to your words of praise as he whimpered in response to moans. How your hands ran over his chest and scratched as you came closer to your orgasm.

°Missonar position = A perhaps simple position but when he felt more dominant and you wanted to have him over there was almost no stopping you. Besides the endless praising and thanking words that came over his lips when he shouldn't kiss you. His hands would run over your body when he wasn't supporting himself, massaging your breasts and lightly pulling your hair to elicit even more sounds from you.

══════════════════════

G = Goofy (are they more serious at the moment? are they funny? etc.)

°If it's a more serious night, so to speak, where he's giving himself to you and the pure pleasure of the fantasies comes first, Charlie is more serious. For him, making love to you is a very intimate thing, of course a gentle smile of gratitude from both of you is to be expected, but jokes or remarks will be refrained from. Unless he is looking for punishment.

°If it's just quiet, loving sex, there may be a joke or a smirk on one or the other film fact. Which is happily reciprocated by his partner before it ends in a smiling kiss.

══════════════════════

H = Hair (how shaved is they? Does the trunk match the apple? ect.)

°Even before you got together he kept himself relatively clean and shaven. Once he's been dumped by Kirby again and goes into a down phase that lasts a few days, he tends to feel sorry for himself. But even if he gets together with you, it's not a big issue. If you don't care, he'll leave it the way it was before, not to mention he doesn't care how well shaved you are.

°When he's in the missionary position and you move your fingers from his cheek to his curly hair and stroke it, he's not only almost embarrassed, he only gets more excited when you reach for his hair. Whether it's stroking it, playing with a strand or pulling it lightly. He loves it when you play with his hair.

══════════════════════

I = Intimacy (how are you at the moment the romantic aspect)

°Telling you how he feels is not difficult for Charlie, from the very first second you met he confessed nothing but his pure feelings and love for you.

°In addition to the countless words of praise he shows a love especially when you are for each other. With countless soft kisses and little cuddles he is always by your side and never lets you go. He loves to hold your hand and stroke it gently, happy that you are by his side.

°An even more soothing intimate thing for him is when he just lies down on the couch with you after a hard day. Put his head on your lap and slowly fall asleep to your soothing touch and words. When you lightly play with his hair it was one of his favourite gestures to each other.

══════════════════════

J = Jack off ( mastubation headcanon)

°Even before you got together and he lost his heart to you. You were the image that appeared in his head, in his fanaticism.

°His desire for you was strong and he wanted to know more about you. To know what was under your clothes, how soft your breasts would be? How soft would they be? What would you do if you found him jerking off to you? Would you punish him?

°In your relationship, this would turn into more of a teasing for both of you before sex. How far could you push the other person? How much arousal would you allow him to have. He could hardly wait to find out.

══════════════════════

Kink = (one or more kinks)

°Praise kink = It was almost like an addiction that had taken hold of him. Ever since you first praised him, he felt the woolly tingle run through his body before his cock twitched with excitement.

°Mommy kink/fetish = Nothing more needs to be said. Charlie will call you Mommy sooner or later, intentionally or unintentionally. Whether you've agreed to it or not, he's going to call you whatever he wants. Or if you ride him or strap on him and practically fuck him silly and he calls you Mommy. It will happen and with red cheeks and a look of shame it will tell you.

°Pegging = As I just said, Charlie is yours and pegging is one of those things you're going to try out in the relationship. But it becomes clear more than quickly that he's reaching out to you almost devotedly. He begs you to fuck him faster and makes the sweetest noises under your touch when you pull him up by his hair.  When his strength leaves him after he has already had several orgasms and you continue to fuck him. There is nothing better for him.

══════════════════════

L = Location (favourite place to do it)

° The bedroom there is nothing better for him than his own four walls of the living room. When the click of the lock is heard and you are together, he feels safest. Knowing that it's just the two of you.

°An open place, something he would risk. A cinema. In the back row together in a bigger couple's seat. Barely paying attention to the film as your hand slowly moves down Charlie's trousers and he quietly leans in to let you come.

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M = Motivation (what turns you on)

°Praise = Whether it's just a quick word, a sweet wooing or straight up teasing. Just one word past your lips and Charlie would turn red and hard. And if it was at school, he'd almost hide behind his hair and watch his shot silently, knowing what would happen once you were in his room.

°You = It may be strange, but seeing you, whether it's at the film club, at a friend's house or at school. Knowing that you are together and his heart is yours and yours is his. There is no more perfect image for him. Than just having you.

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N = No (something they wouldn't do)

°Threesome/Orgies = The subject of sharing whether he shares you or you share him. It was something Charlie didn't like in thought and execution. It would be something that would make him nervous. Too many people touching him that he didn't know. But something in him resisted, he didn't want to share you, of course you were his first priority and maybe he would try it but for him it was a no go.

°He would never be able to hit you. Hair pulling is easy. But hitting, even if it was just a light slap, he would feel terrible doing it.

°As mentioned before he would try everything once and you would try it together and if he doesn't like it or you don't like it, it will be respected and that's fine for both of you.

══════════════════════

O = Oral (preference whether giving or receiving, skill, ect.)

°Charlie would always satisfy you orally one word from you and he would be on his knees in front of you moving up your leg with light kisses. Leaving marks on your skin and telling you how good you are before he finds your centre and gives you the best experience, satisfied when you push yourself towards him and your hands find themselves in his hair.

°,,You're always so good for me...my gorgeous Mommy"

°When you spoil Charlie he is almost embarrassed and asks a thousand times if it is really ok. Before you gently push him down on the couch, kiss him eagerly, leave a smooch mark on his neck before you undo the button of his trousers and see his aroused cock running with pre cum. You know exactly how to move your fingers to make him beg. Teased to elicit a whimper. Before he moans pitifully and his fingers go to your hair when you take him in your mouth.

"Ah...please-please so good-so good to me."

══════════════════════

P = Pace (are they fast and hard? slow and sensitive? etc.)

°Charlie will always be gentle he couldn't help you. When you ride him he adapts to you. If you do it gently and slowly, he has time to look at your body as if you were the only important thing in his life, which you are.

°If he takes the lead and you ask him to be gentle, he will be. Giving you what you want and being validated by your words of praise. Gentle with every thrust, kissing you, tasting you and just feeling you.

°If you want it fast and hard. One word and Charlie will do his best to satisfy your desire. With every lustful sound he elicits from you, your hands scraping his back, he only becomes more emboldened.

══════════════════════

Q = Quickie (your opinion on quickies, how often etc)

°Yes and no. Charlie loves to take his time, for one thing. Giving herself to you, appreciating and exploring each other's bodies. Slowly getting there when you're both finally in bed and giving in to the pleasure. To do whatever you feel like doing.

°A quickie when you might be at school before class starts. In the film club room and no one is there. Maybe on the tables or the floor, in the storeroom with all the props. A small part of him may even want to be caught. To show the others how much you love each other.

══════════════════════

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

°As with the quickie, I think he would risk sleeping in a few open places. Dare to break the rules and cross a little line. When he sees how excited you are, and he himself. It would be something new, exciting, almost like being caught in a horror movie.

°He would risk it too, maybe even hoping you would tease or hint at him in public. Before the two of you disappear into a room at a party, leaving the door unlocked and almost hoping he'll get caught so he can show his love to everyone.

══════════════════════

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go? how long can they last?)

°Charlie Walker is by no means a top athlete when it comes to that. But as a ghostface to stalk his victims, he's almost phanatic about it. Likewise, when he sleeps with you, he's got an eternity of time and stamina to give you lust.

°Especially if you've already teased him during the day, given him looks, bent over the table one too many times and showed him your breasts in a lacy bra. Believe me, he will be gentle but still respectful of you all night long.

°Only when you use your mouth and have him to yourself will he come for you with astonishing speed. You know what you have to do to make him come.

°,,If you keep doing this-ah then..."

══════════════════════

T = Toys (do they have toys? do they use them? on their partner or themselves?)

°Camera = A camera is not strictly speaking a sex toy but something in him is completely fascinated watching your homemade porn and experiences. The way your body surrenders wonderfully to the camera or he sees himself as you tease him almost lovingly. And when you're not around, he simply takes one of the videos as a template instead of going on the internet.

°Blindfold = Something he uses on you to give you a new experience. When he gently kisses and lightly bites your body. Filming you moving under him. For him there seemed to be no greater loving gesture than to grasp your hands and hold them to his chest. Confirming how excited he himself is. Charlie would also let you put the blindfold on him when you ride him. Make him wait on the bed beforehand and start teasing him. He's in heaven.

°Knife = Again a rather shady sex toy and it would depend on whether he was sure you suspected him of being Ghostface. Regardless, he would use the knife with extreme caution, he knew what it could do. But whether he dragged it across your body leaving red stripes or you pressed it to his throat. Always with the thought that you had him under control. A stirring feeling.

══════════════════════

U = Unfair (how they love to tease)

°Charlie when he feels like something riskier will give you the most submissive looks as well as light touches. A little touch on your fingers, your hair, your breasts as you walk by. Maybe he'll even text you and tell you he can't wait for the break to have a quickie in the film club room.

°But the way he teases, so can you. And Charlie blushes so fast all you have to do is look at him and he'll get hard and snuggle up to you. You'll hear him inhale hastily and whimper softly as you whisper to him how good he was for you last night. His cheeks would instantly turn pink and a small embarrassed smile would come to his lips.

══════════════════════

V = Volume (how loud are they, what sounds do they make, etc.)

°As mentioned earlier, even if you tease him, he would want to whimper and give himself to you. When you ride or dominate him he will make the most noise. Moaning, whimpering and pleading are the most submissive yet sweetest sounds that come from his lips.

°Even if he is the top part he will be loud especially in the bedroom his moans and praises will be the loudest you will hear from him.

══════════════════════

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

°An image that would never leave his head was the first time he saw you. In the summer half term you came to school and when he saw you in your light summer dress and he could swear that he could see your light panties. Especially when he masturbated to them it was the image of you. Whenever you wore it afterwards he couldn't hide the blush on his cheeks and instantly felt his pants tighten.

°Another incident in your relationship one night he would remember. Was a Halloween party. He in his Michael myers costume without the mask you insisted on seeing his handsome face. He almost choked on his beer when you came out in your skintight nun costume. Not to mention when he saw the collar and leash in your hand. A new Kink was definitely activated that night.

══════════════════════

X = X-ray (let's look under the clothes)

°Under the little happy trail that's the same colour as his hair, I'd say he's about 15cm/5,9in long and so wide that it can grip around it, even if your fingers are almost touching. The tip is definitely a light pink like his cheeks when he gets nervous. As well as the veins that are already visible when he's aroused.

°Even if you don't have much time together because of school or work. He knows that your eyes have almost stared at him more than once, your eyes were on his middle. And something about it made him proud to know that he was enough for you, that you thought of him when you touched yourself.

══════════════════════

Y = Yearning (how high is the sex drive?)

° A realtively high one. The years he was single, only used as a plaything by Kirby, definitely made him look for a girlfriend. So after you take your relationship to the next level, like teasing, it doesn't take much for him to become needy.

°Too often he finds himself daydreaming about you and the things you could do. The things you've done before he even notices how his pants are getting tighter and catches your knowing look. No one has to wonder why the film club is locked during the break.

══════════════════════

Z = Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards)

°It depends again on how the night went. If he has been pushed to his limits, you have teased him for a long time and taken care of him. He'll fall asleep quickly after you're done, more from exhaustion than anything else, but he'll still make sure you're okay.

°If he is the active part he will be tired and exhausted but wait until you have fallen asleep. Holding you and telling you movie facts and stories while you snuggle up to him and only then will he fall asleep.

══════════════════════

[buckybarnesb-tch]

[Spicy Edition] Which of the Lost Boys do you think is the most likely to…

Undress their partner using their teeth?

Have handcuffs in their bedroom (which they may or my not have actually used)?

Have sex on their motorcycle?

Want pillow talk?

Be a voyeur?

Experiment with different sexual positions?

Have sex in the weirdest places?

Have a porn magazine or nude photos stashed away?

Be dominant or have rough sex?

Go commando?

Talk dirty while doing it?

Give oral when someone is on their period?

Walk around the cave naked or sleep naked (or at least attempt it)?

Love early morning sex?

Wax or shave their privates?

Try a threesome?

Lost Boys: Most Likely To {Spicy}

1) Paul or Marko would be the most likely to undress their mate with their teeth. They love to tease everyone as much as possible in anyway they can. When it comes to Y/n however, they will do anything they have to in order to get her going and watching Paul or Marko move your panties out of the way with their fangs just enough to stab their tongue into your cunt is enough to make their mate scream and cry

2) David is probably the most likely to enjoy using handcuffs on you. Imagine him cuffing you to the side of the wheelchair while you’re on his lap so that he can use you however he wants, that is David’s dream interaction with his mate

3) Honestly, every single one of those boys will fuck you on their motorcycle and do it happily. David and Dwayne will both man handle you out of the cave just to bend you over their bike and fuck you 7 ways to Sunday, Marko will excitedly fuck you on his bike right there on the boardwalk and use his body to keep people from seeing parts of you that are for his view only, and Paul would be the one to force you to ride him while the bike is moving! While he rides with you down the boardwalk and onto the beach you’ll feel every jerk and bump of the bike as he moves inside you, not to mention the vibrations

4) Shockingly enough, Dwayne is probably the best when it comes to pillow talk. His deep, heavy voice could make you cum all by itself with the kinds of things that spill from between his lips, telling you how perfect and lovely you are, as well as how tight and warm your pussy is

When it comes to you talking to them however, David enjoys the pillow talk the most. He does talk, sometimes at least, but usually you are the one that ends up speaking to him and you know how much he loves hearing how his cock makes you feel, loves hearing you call him ‘Daddy’ or ‘Mate’ or telling him how amazing being full of his cum feels

5) All of the boys would like watching each other with their mate and then trying to out-do each other which will inevitably leave their mate laid out, exhausted, half asleep, and covered in sweat and cum

6) They all love trying new things with you but Paul would be the most enthusiastic about trying new positions! He would be obsessed with how flexible you are and he would bend you in every which direction he can think of in that moment

7) While they all drag you off in public when they need you, Marko probably finds the weirdest places for the two of you. He once fucked you in the back of a bakery ending up covering the both of you in chocolate icing and stealing a whole box of cream filled donuts before leaving, another time he lifted your skirt and fucked you in the control center of the carousel, and even once bent you over the counter in the back of the Frogs comic store

8) Paul has a whole bunch of porno magazines that he’s stolen over the years, not that he even looks at them much anymore since finding you. Dwayne however had taken to taking as many pictures of you as he could before David talked you into turning, convincing you to take quite a few half and completely nude pictures for him which he later shares with the guys after you’re turned and you can no longer have your picture taken

9) All 4 of your vampires are very dominant , they crave a submissive mate which is why you’re perfect, David and Dwayne are probably the most dominant but honestly they’re all desperate to dominate you. Even when you are on top and seem to be in charge, you never truly are

10) Paul is probably the most likely to go commando, maybe Marko once in a while to tease you, but it’s rare

11) They’re all dirty talkers, every single one of those horn dogs

12) None of the Lost Boys really care about you being on your period, you actually find it gross how much stronger you seem to smell to them and they all love it! They’re not deterred by your period when they want to fuck you in the least, Dwayne however was the first one to shock you by going down on you while you were bleeding, seeming to be more ravenous than normal and you had a hard time prying his face away from your cunt after he had made you cum 6 times! All of the boys had done it after that at some point but Dwayne seemed to almost look forward to it, wanting to enjoy the experience until you were turned and he couldn’t anymore which is why he would often spend hours with his mouth on your cunt at those times of the month (never knowing when you were going to give into David’s pestering of you to turn)

13) The boys couldn’t walk around the cave naked since Laddie was there and you insisted on a certain level of responsibility around the child, however you had them fix up one of the rooms just for him so that he could decorate it and make it his so once he was in there for the night they could do what they wanted and all of them are likely to be naked, especially when following you around after or during sex

14) David was more than often the first one of the boys to wake up and he used those moments to have you all to himself, loving on you and making sure to wake you up in the best way possible, showing you how much the grumpy leader adored you in those sweet moments

15) None of them wax or shave their privates, though Dwayne has been known to keep himself a bit more ‘neat’ with some trimming than his brothers do

16) You’re mated to 4 different vampires who love each other dearly, if you think you’re going to be lucky enough for only 2 of them to be attacking you at once then you’re dreaming girly

[value-vow]

Hazbin Hotel Fic Ideas

(Potential TW: mentions of smut, cannibalism, dark themes, angst, blood, Valentino)

Feel free to use them and tag me if you do! I wanna read what you amazing authors come up with!

Alastor with Reader dark smut, like really dark. Borderline cannibalism while dry humping.

Lucifer with Reader crack fluff, being complete dorks while decorating his room in the new hotel.

Ace!Alastor with Ace!Reader, making fun of couples while gossiping over coffee/tea.

Angel!Lucifer with Angel!Reader angst/fluff, being banished together and watching him grow his family while being in love with him. Happy ending preferably but not required.

Lucifer with Reader fluff, helping raise Charlie.

Platonic!Angel Dust and Reader fluff, weekend shenanigans when Angel has a day off.

Ace!Alastor with Ace!Reader, who is a bit crazy for blood.

Sister!Vaggie with Sibling!Reader, who has a crush on Alastor. Eventual Alastor x Reader.

Emily with Reader fluff, showing Charlie around the zoo in Heaven and just being best buds with Charlie.

The Vees with Popstar!Reader who’s a Vee, smut/fluff, Reader makes a porno once a month for Val but they control the script, Velvett makes their outfits for literally everything and has Reader be a side model for her, and Vox promotes them on his programs. This one is really out there.

Sister!Nifty with Sibling!Reader fluff/crack, trying to control Nifty and getting her out of trouble but it just doesn’t work. Imagine just holding her like stuffed bear as a time out for putting more holes into the flooring after trying to stab roaches.

Platonic!Angel Dust with Reader fluff, sleepy cuddles. Like a sleepover.

Alastor with Reader fluff, picnic date in his bayou watching the fireflies and slow dancing.

Husband!Alastor with Spouse!Reader, where they literally get on each others last nerve and argue a lot, kinda playfully, but will drop everything for their partner in a heartbeat, no matter what it is. (Personal fav)

Wife!Rosie with Spouse!Reader fluff, just a day in the life of the lovely couple.

Hazbin Hotel Staff with Reader fluff/crack, sleepovers shenanigans.

[final-girl96]

My Boyfriend's Back Chapter Thirty-Nine

YN

"So…how was your date?" Randy sat on one side of the couch and I on the other. Reese was sitting on his lap, clinging to him. "It was good…I think…I don't know." I raised an eyebrow at him in question. "Okay…well, what was her name?" I asked. He murmured something that I couldn't hear. "What?" I asked. "Karen! Okay? It was Karen."

"Karen?" I asked. He nodded his head and rolled his eyes. "Yes, Karen as in Karen Kolchec," he said. My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. "Creepy Karen! Like, Karen who took your virginity in the porno section of the video store, where you are now the manager?!" He sighed and looked down at Reese. "Your mom is so dramatic." His fingers danced on her stomach making her laugh.

"She's not creepy! She's actually really nice," he said. I nodded my head, "sure, yeah, of course. That's why you were scared of her in high school…well, until she agreed to have sex with you…in the porno section, of course." He rolled his at me and let a wiggly Reese down so she could play with her toys. I stood up and walked to the kitchen with Randy close behind me.

"I was never afraid of her!" He argued and I laughed. "Right. Whatever you say, Ray." I handed him one of the beers from the pack he brought with him when he came over. "Can I ask you a serious question?" I turned around from the fridge after putting the pizza away and looked at him. "Um…yeah, of course," I said. I started wiping down the counters while he took time to form what he wanted to ask me. "I've been wanting to ask you this for a while now. Just don't get mad or upset, okay?"

I nodded my head, "I won't. I promise," I told him. I turned around to the sink, washing the few dishes that were in it from dinner. "Reese…she's umm…she's his isn't she?" I paused my movements and closed my eyes. It's been a couple days since Stu was here. I knew one day it was a possibility that someone would ask me this question. "Yn? Look, I'm not going to get mad or lecture you. I mean…it's kind of obvious, ya know? She looks like him."

I finished rinsing the last dish and set it down in the rack. I didn't turn around though. I couldn't. "Yes. He was at Windsor. I'd like to say it was only once but it wasn't. He kind of just showed up out of nowhere one night. I was in the studio alone in the middle of the night. That night there was that bad storm." Flashbacks played in my head of me running through the halls with Stu close behind. The thunder rumbling above and the lightning flashing so bright that it would light the hallways up.

"I always felt like someone was watching me…even before we left home. That night he showed up, chased me through the halls. Things happened. And they kept happening after that. After you…when I left the hospital after I knew you were in good hands, I went back to my dorm. He was there in my room, sitting on the couch. But it wasn't him who started it that time…it was me. He was behind everything at Windsor. Well…Hallie is the one that stabbed you. She thought getting rid of you would have made him happy."

"Has he been here? Does he know about her?" I didn't say anything. What was I going to say? 'Yeah, he was here and knows about her. Oh and also, I fucked him.' "Yn? Does he know about Reese?" I took a deep breath and turned around. The biggest lie ever left my fucking lips before I could stop the words. "No. I haven't seen him since that last night at Windsor when he killed what's-his-face. If he knows where I live, he hasn't shown up. Not yet…"

"Are you lying to me?" He asked. I gave him a look that said 'are you serious?' "Look, I'm just trying to look out for you two. He's a fucking psychopath, yn. You can't let him near her." Too late. "I know that, Randy. I think about it every fucking day! When is he going to show up? What will he do when he does? Fuck, I mean come on, we all know that ghostface will be back. Especially with a third movie being mad. We might have gone two years without people dying that are close to us…but that luck is going to end. And it's going to end soon."

"You don't know that. Maybe Stu won't come find you this time. I wish you would have told me he was at Windsor though. Or maybe told Dewey," he said. "And what? Risk your guys lives like that? No way. I still feel guilty for what happened to you, Ray. I mean, you almost died! You were in a coma for days!" He sighed and shook his head. "That was not your fault," he said. "Well, it feels like it is. Come on, Ray, I'm a fucking mess! I'm still…I'm still in love with him," I whispered the last part.

Before he could respond the phone rang and I walked over to answer it. "Hello?" I looked over at Randy to see him looking at me with concern. "Hey, Sid." His face relaxed a little but not much. "What?" I asked her. "Turn on the news!" She told me. I nodded my head even though she couldn't see me. "Hey, turn on the news, please." Randy walked over to the TV and turned it on before flicking through the channels and finding the news.

"Hollywood is reeling today from news of the murder of Controversial talk show host, Cotton Weary. Weary had only recently finished shooting a cameo as himself in the film "Stab 3: Return to Woodsboro", the third and final part in the famous horror series based on the Woodsboro and Windsor College Murders. Before his rise to television fame, Cotton had been imprisoned and was later exonerated for the murder of Maureen Prescott, his former Lover."

Randy muted the tv and turned around to look at me. It was completely silent. I didn't say anything; I didn't know what to say. Sidney was quiet on the other end of the line, too. It went on like that for what felt like forever. I knew who was behind this, and even if he wasn't the one to actually kill Cotton, he definitely had something to do with it. "He's back," I whispered.

[starlightrows]

Welcome back to Krax Watches! Today I’m watching: Sons of Summer

Spoilers below!

Movie starts out fantastic, first person we see is Tem! A++

Exactly what we saw in the trailer with the hand off

You guys, his salt and pepper stubble is EVERYTHING

You know this girl is cool because she has a chuck of pink in her hair

Getting right into it with “one last job”

I have a terrible habit about picking up accents, this is going to make me parrot an Australian/New Zealand accent for the next several days

Several minutes of unnecessary surfing B Roll

They call it liquid ballet… I hope they don’t actually call surfing that

More surfing B roll

These actors are really stiff

Flashback montage of their looooove

This is a stupid stupid stupid stupid plan. Like the definition of a half cocked plan

No one drives a fancy car to a drug drop. Aren’t you supposed to blend in and not stick out?

Oh my fucking god that suit!

I can just see it now, him in the suit checking his watch will be made into a gif in the next week

A mob bridal dinner?

I kind of forgot Tem (still don’t know the character name yet) is kinda the bad guy in this

Ew ew ew smarmy man

I was confused as to what just happened…. They stole the car that had the drugs in it.

The intense red lighting in this (very tame) car chase

More very stiff acting

This dude is more concerned about his girlfriend leaving him for being involved in drug trafficking than the traffickers finding him and busting his skull for it… what the fuck?

How does he know that the girl knows anything?

Or what? What do you mean or what?

Also Tem’s character finally has a name, Frank

Ooooooh he’s in the apartment….. he’s not a bounty hunter in this but I feel like whatever he is, is worse

I don’t know how he didn’t catch her… but the second she leaves that closet he’s going to be sitting there

More surfing

I went to the kitchen to get a snack and make a cup of tea and they are STILL surfing

Who is this woman? That the girlfriend called out of nowhere

Can’t tell if this is trying to be a murder mystery about who killed the blond guys dad? Or if it’s just weird background information

Another rando is introduced

More surfing

Oh… now one of the surfer boys is comatose

Finally a fight scene!

More love scene flashbacks

What the fuck just happened? 😂 why did this bro-y campfire just turn into a fight? The dialogue was more like a porno line than a threat

Oh my god. I can’t stop laughing. “You’re old!” “No you’re old” stab stab slow motion stab 🔪

What the fuck he wasn’t even holding anything to stab him with?

More god damn surfing

So is the cost of dying…. What does that even mean?

Hand is bloody before he punches the tree

This movie just cuts from random scene to random scene with no connection

Blondie is suddenly fine after punching that tree, screaming in the rain and weeping about his dead friend… also their other friend is comatose in the hospital still

Please god no…. Not another surfing montage

Their hair is lightly damp and perfect

ooooh a bromancy vacation montage

Dramatically on a bus for a singular second before cutting to another unconnected scene

Another surfing montage?! How? Why? Fucking why? There’s only 20 minutes left, this better be the last one (just kidding I know there is at least two more coming)

Hang on… there’s only 15 minutes left and this girl has still not been kidnapped like in the trailer… what the fuck?

Lying is bad for your health…. Okay that was funny

Sean Bindaboo… that can not be a real last name

So…. Did the girl just decide to take a bus to nowhere and go on a walking holiday?

Fuck him up Frank!

There is no way. On this entire god damn planet of earth. That Frank just runs into the girlfriend on the side of the road

Finally she’s been kidnapped! I never thought that would make me happy

At least Frank isn’t violent with her

Not gonna lie…. The way Franks speaks when threatening big blond idiot…. Pretty hot

They way Sean runs 😂

His friends are so fucking stupid

What the fuck? The rando girl from the surfing montage agreed to help them with this drug drop? What the fuck is this movie?

I do not buy it. Blondie successfully drowned Frank. I know that’s what happened in the canon of the movie, but that’s dumb

Old footage? For no reason?

Plastic lei and all of them surfing

Wow comatose guy lived! And is surfing with a bandage on

No! Don’t leave the plastic lei in the ocean you assholes

Frank’s not dead!!!! Wait what? How is that the last scene of the movie?

You guys this movie is terrible. 3/10 at best. Glad I watched it though, had to see for myself

[ownedbytaylorswift-13]

It’s a Cruel Summer | Matt Murdock x Fem!reader (2/5)

Bad Boy

A/N: I’m so incredibely sorry for not being faster while posting I swear I always say i’m going to but i totally forget 😭😭😭, but anywaysssss, last chapter we learend a little bit about miss y/n stark and this chapter were are saying her day to day life right, like shes a fucking billioner, avenger, supermodel, filanthrophist and miss girls bussy, shes gotta wake up and train and look gorgeouse and meet the love of her life all while saving the world so here we gooooo. thx for reading *kisseshughskisseshugskisseshugs* <333.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated🫶🏼🫶🏼

Pls let me know if you would like to take you off the tag list or add you🫰🏼

TW: age gap (r is like 21 and matt’s like 33-34), bad writing, y/n, over powered reader, pick me girl, rich people, fwb, maybe alcohol/drugs, insensitivity, rich savior, my writting, drama, probably more.

“Good morning Ms.Stark, it’s 5:30 am. You are required on the training floor at 6:00 am.”

I grunted, wishing I hadn’t woken up during the night so I actually would have gotten at least one more hour of sleep. Why did we have to train so early anyways?

I went to my bathroom to try and freshen up a little, I put my hair in a shower cap and took a super quick freezing cold shower, brushed my teeth and changed into more suitable clothing.

I went to the kitchen, Scott and Wanda already going into the elevator.

“Wait! I’m coming!” I said quickly, grabbing a protein bar and going into the elevator.

“Morning,” said Scott, yawning, holding the door open for me.

I hummed in response.

“Hey, Wanda, do you know the training plan for today?” I asked, opening the wrapper of my bar, leaning into the elevator wall. She just looked at me with hate and I swear she almost growled, obviously me talking to her when she had just woken up was equivalent to me stabbing her, I get it though.

“You’re late,” Steve said as I walked out of the elevator.

“Only five minutes, grandpa,” I said walking right past him, blending into the crowd, his look was disapproving.

“Uh, Okay, so today we are doing one on one combat, me and Nat will be supervising, remember you are not allowed to shoot, stab, or harm in any lethal way… you are not allowed suits, weapons of any kind, or powers. Fail to follow rules and you will receive a sanction. I have also already picked your partners ‘cuz you are incapable of getting along” Steve said, Nat stepped forward and turned to us positioning herself beside Steve.

“So this is how It’ll go, one, Scott and Sam. Two, Bucky and Peter. Three Ed and Wanda,” “Venom? Really? I should be able to use my powers!” Nat just gave her a  death stare, Steve made a notion for us to be quiet and Wanda huffed, “Four, Pietro and y/n. Five Vision, Loki, and Thor take turns.” Natasha listed and sounded as grateful as the rest of us to be here. Only some seemed to agree with their partners, everyone else looked like they just smelled shit.

“Let's start with number…um…four, Go!”Said Steve, me and Pietro looked at each other while walking to the mat, everyone walked towards the benches beside.

“Don’t worry draga, I’ll go easy on you,” Pietro said, trying to flirt, like always, after our encounters some time ago, he kept on insisting, but I know it's just routine.

“You want me to go faster?” He said with a thick accent, he was as hot as he was fast.

“No, no this is perfect Pie-ughh, fuck,” I locked my glossy brown eyes with his blue ones and grabbed his face. His pace was lightning, and he didn’t even have to use his special abilities.

“You like that?” He said, smirking already knowing the answer.

“I don’t need you to” I said, coming back to reality.

“Yeah, because you cheat,” He said, getting ready for combat.

“And you don’t?” I said going in already.

We fought dirty, punched, kicked, kneed, elbowed, scratched. It looked like foreplay for a bad “dark themed” porno. We both somehow ended up with knives, breaking more rules with the second, but it was so exciting we didn’t care. We kept threatening until we were standing up, his knife pressed on my throat making me press against him. But I wasn’t defenseless, he had one of my arms restrained, the other had a knife pressed to his side, just below his last rib.

“Come on guys! I said no knives!” “Wait, I want to see where this goes,” Steve and Nat, forever agreeing to disagree.

“Come on babe, let go,” I was breathless, he didn’t budge, not even a twitch, nothing.

“Seems you won’t go down the good way, time to play dirtier,” I pushed the knife in his side hard till I cut him open, and felt drops of his warm blood on my fingertips. Not stab, just cut. He reacted very fast, slashing my jaw. The small cut gave me an advantage, he thought it had been more serious and I played into it. I dropped to the floor, breathing heavily, only a couple of seconds in which Pietro got scared he had actually hurt me badly. He went to kneel next to me and gave me the perfect moment to win. I turned fast and knocked him over with my leg and straddled him with both knives in my hands one in his throat and the other in his chest.

“Dead,” I said, giving him a little smile, I threw the bloody knives and got up stretching my hand to help him.

“You broke several rules, and as I told you you’ll have consequences, you're on mission report duty for the rest of the summer,” He said, firmly.

“Worth it,” I said walking away, smugly.

“Where are you going? Too shy for round too? Or too scared?” He said, making me jump back a little one second he was on the other side of the room and the other he was right in front of me.

“I’m a busy girl Pietro, I can’t stay here all day making you bleed,” I said, sliding past him reaching for the door.

“Whatever,” He said and went back to his place with a swoosh.

“Okay, next up is number…two…Go!” Steve’s voice echoed in my head along with his thoughts on what other punishments to give in case more rules were broken.

I went up to my floor and drank some water. I went to my room and showered, cleaning dried blood off was hard and I did have a busy day today, I was going to Hell’s Kitchen. I’m America's sweetheart, and as the Upper East Side Princess, I need to expand my philanthropism and help. I usually go to hospitals, food pantries, shelters, local businesses, things like that. Today I was going to an orphanage, to be precise Saint Agnes Orphanage, it was a catholic orphanage in Hell’s Kitchen, one of New York’s shadiest. I had gone there a couple of times, the kids were so sweet and religious, super cute, I really liked all of them.

I got dressed and then changed because Vision said “Statistically, the catholics could find it disrespectful to Christ” so I wore pants. What I ended up wearing was actually very cute. It was black high waisted wide leg leather trousers, a silk baby blue bra with lace details and a cream cover up. I wore it with white and blue flowered heels, a black purse, two chains around my neck, one gold and the other white gold. Two rings, one the signature Vivienne Westwood cross and the other a blue eye ball being held by two hands. In my left wrist there was a pearl bracelet, and in my ears black and gold lock-shaped earrings, my hair was down, dark and curly, all the layers tying the look. My makeup was flawless, my eyes were big and glittery, you could see the shadows in my face, sharp dark edges but soft cheeks flushed and plump, long black eyelashes and of course my signature brown red glossy lips. I sourley rather be dead than plain, and I defined owed my life to Rhianna and Charlotte Tilbury.

Happy was driving me today, we both knew I was completely capable of defending and driving myself but I guess he enjoyed babysitting bodyguarding and driving. I had carts full of things I was taking to the orphanage, I knew these kids have had it hard enough, I just want to give them something they’ll enjoy and that they don’t have to share. I know I’m one of them too, I was in an orphanage, I didn’t have anyone until my dad. It was just pure luck, one scandal less and I would have probably called a place like that my home too.

Me and Happy tried to fit everything into the car, there were a lot of things and the trunk along with the last row and part of the second were completely backed up. There was only room for three people. Happy started the car and I wrote the address on the car’s gps.

“I thought we were going to Hell’s Kitchen,” He looked confused.

“Yeah we are,” I said, now also confused.

“That’s Queen’s kid,” He said looking at the address and now just looking at me like I was stupid.

“Yeah I know, but I thought we could pick Peter up today, I think we could really use the help, and I haven’t seen him in a while s-”

“So I’m driving across town and then back?” He finished my sentence.

“Yeah, let’s go, it's getting late” I said smiling at him, he just rolled his eyes, huffed and drove.

“I’m gonna play some music,” I said, connecting my phone and putting my playlist on shuffle.

“I love this one,” I said, turning it up a little. Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift or perfection, call it what you want.

“Don’t be all grumpy,” I said. “The drive’s fast only…thirty minutes,” I said.

“Make it fifty,” He said and kept driving.

“You know I can drive, right? You didn’t have to come,” I said, crossing my legs and arms.

“Too late for that now, we are too far gone,” He drove all the way to Queens with not a single word. He always acted annoyed but I knew he enjoyed this. It reminded him of when I  was a kid and he actually had to drive me around.

“We are here, what now?” He asked me, going to park the car.

“We wait for Peter to come out, I think I’m going to wait outside though, he doesn’t know I’m picking him up,” I said, unbuckling my seatbelt and getting out of the car. I closed the door and pushed my back against the car. I pulled out my phone and looked for Peter’s contact name, but he didn't answer. Soon the bell rang, a lot of mentally illed teens started swarming out, I guess STEM was doing its job. They were all thinking so many different things, I felt so special knowing what Edward Cullen felt like, I could totally be a Cullen, I’m hot enough, and I’m also so mysterious, everyone would be so in love with me and I would also look so pretty glittering in the su-

HONK.

I jumped, Happy brought me back to reality and made me look like a total idiot. He wanted me to look for Peter so we could go, I could hear it in my head. I started walking towards the main entrance with my arms crossed and spotted Peter, he was kind of far and I didn’t want to walk all the way up there. I tried his phone again but he didn’t pick up, he didn’t even check it. I uncrossed my arms and walked with confidence towards him, turning a lot of heads to me, I couldn’t help it, I was magnetizing like the moon, I do kind of blame my Leo moon for that. As I walked, I noticed that Peter looked…embarrassed? Why? It was a strange look on him, he was with his friend Ned who was looking ten times worse than him and this other kid…um… Flash Thompson, I roamed through his head, he was the kid that always gave Peter such a hard time, if he only knew who he really was. Time to play the hot bimbo friend.

“Pete! Hey Peter!” I said walking towards them, channeling Elle Woods and exploding the valley girl in me, I guess growing up in Malibu has its perks.

“Oh my God! Hi!” I said hugging him tight, my back to Flash.

“Y/n? Wha-What are you doing here?” He said a little embarrassed.

“I’m here to pick you up, dummy. We have that thing, remember?” I said pulling away.

“Are you y/n Stark?” Flash asked, still behind me. I turned to him and gave him the most disgusting side eye I could summon out of my being.

“Oh yeah… the thing,” He said, getting the hint.

“Yeah, come on, let's go, we’re running late already,” I said, taking his hand and dragging him with me.

“Peter! Where are you going?! Don’t leave me!” Ned said, reaching out.

“I’m sorry dude, I have a thing,” He said, turning to him and then back to the exit.

“Are you!?” Flash asked, again. I just breathe out a laugh. Peter smiled.

“Thanks for saving me over there, by the way, Flash can be very…” “Don’t worry about it, he’s just a bully but I’m a certified mean girl,” I said, teasing.

“Yeah, whatever,” He said, rolling his eyes a little.

“Why are you here though?” He asked.

“There is a thing, I just didn’t tell you about it, we are going to Saint Agnes,” He looked at me more confused.

“It’s an orphanage,” “I told you, you shouldn’t make jokes about me being an orphan, it’s not cool y/n,” He said, trying to convince me he was annoyed.

“None of that, I’m in the mood to feed my savior complex today and you are going to help, I’m just going to give some things to the kids, brighten up their days a little, I don’t know, I’m the modern Mother Teresa” I said, opening his door. I closed it and got in the car.

“It’s jacked up back here, I barely fit,” He said, trying to not sit on the things.

“Cry about it. Let’s go Happy,” I said, retouching my lips and admiring myself in the mirror. I played with my hair and posed for myself, I’m so pretty it’s annoying, to others not me though.

Me and Peter talked a little, it didn’t take that much to get to the other side of the city, it was actually faster.

“We’re here,” Happy announced, shutting the car off.

“Okay, help me,” I said, getting out.

“Hello, Miss Stark, the kids have been waiting for you, they’re in the temple.” A nun said.

“I know, I’m so sorry, there was a lot of traffic,” I said, giving her an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay, they’ve missed you, the kids. Oh, did you need help getting the things out?” She asked nicely.

“Oh no, it’s okay I can manage,” I said going into the temple, happy and Peter behind me.

“Y/n!” A swarm of kids surrounded me, I swore they were going to trip me over.

“Hello sunshines!” I said, matching the excitement. Even though I didn’t love to admit it, these kids had a soft spot in me. I put the things on the floor and picked one of the little kids up, hugged him and put him on my hip. Damian, he was my favorite.

I started setting everything up, organizing and letting them know what everything was. I had brought clothes, food, shoes, supplies, toys, computers, books, hygen products, everything I thought they might need.

“What’s happening?” I heard a man think, Mathew Matt Murdock. He was talking with… father Lanthom, and I guess he realized his confusion.

“She’s the girl that volunteers with the kids, y/n Stark, Ironman’s daughter, she comes around once or twice a month and the kids seem to like her,” Father Lanthom said. Matt hummed in acknowledgement.

“She’s a very nice young lady, you know,” Father Lanthom said as if hinting something. Matt chuckled.

“As you said, she is young, I think 20, and I don’t think the Upper East Side princess is interested,” Matt said. That made me chuckle, which somehow he heard, because he turned his face to me surprised I heard. After all we were too far to listen to the other, second time of the day I felt like the emo vampire.

I spent time with the kids, Peter was so much help. Everyone was wondering how such a small kid could carry such heavy stuff. The day went by rather quickly, and before I knew it it was time to go.

“So we were in Asgard on a bridge made out rainbow! Yeah, Thor was in the palace fighting his sister Hela, when suddenly she made a knife out of magic and Agh! Stabbed Thor in the ey-“

“I’m I think is time to get going Ms. Stark, the kids have to get ready for bed,” A concerned nun said.

The kids cried out for me to keep telling them the story but I reassured them that I would be back as soon as possible and that it was getting late.

“I’ll be back, kids! Don’t worry! Be good!” I said waving at them as they closed the doors.

NEXT CHAPTER >>>

CHAPTER DIRECTORY

Tag List 🏷

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[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 09x16 Blade Runners

“Let’s watch slutty men on TV”

Cain and Abel: The First Brothers

“They had the same daddy” “I don’t quite understand this human blood thing” He’s basically a junkie now

“What does it do to him? Makes him more human?” He gets feelings and shit. 

“I guess I would have figured it out if I waited 8 seconds”

That’s usually how it works

“CASA BLANK-A” “What’s up with the work boots?” “Does it say Packing Slip Encloser-ed? It’s es I guess” “I remember this guy dying” “That’s a good eye flick” “Is this how we’re going to paint our driveway?” IF you want to alienate our neighbors more, sure

Laughter

“Then just have like a little speaker with the exorcism being spoken every time there’s motion detected” “Who’s Snooki?” She was on Jersey Shore

“Is she the real one?” yeah

“Not a very good actor” “Idk. Not my thing. I guess everyone’s got a type” “It’s getting crazy” He’s reading Little Women

“That’s a lot of shopping bags” “So is a capybara a large rodent?” “I mean you’ve got a book to finish. Get back to work” “I suppose they’re on point with the music” “Might be rehab time” “He’s not entirely accurate - the Challenger Deep is the deepest part of the Mariana Trench” “I mean he kinda is” “Don’t they want to fkn kill this guy? I suppose he doesn’t have the blade yet” “yeah” “excuse me?” Then laughter

“That would be a yes” “yup” “Isn’t that obvious?” “Can’t he just demon-punch the vending machine or something?” “that was convenient” “oh god” “Which one of them has a thing with the old ladies? I thought it was Sam, but she’s really giving Dean the business” I mean who wouldn’t give Dean the business

“Is the mint on the pillow for morning or evening? I just eat them when I see it” “Is any scotch good? I don’t like scotch” “people they kicked out then?” “Just him casually reading a porno. I mean, why not? He reads it for the articles” “the fuck is going on? Just walk into it. No worries” “Don’t bother asking question” “It looks like that one Russian museum we went to. Minus the vampires” “Is that a fkn word even?” “who else said that? Said they were all librarians” Dorothy

“Is there some sort of significance? You’ll tell me later right?” “the fuck? I need that spell. Just disappear people” gay

“Why’d you say that?” Companions are gay

“Oh shit he just got kidnapped. Nice” laughter

“Is he hulking out or some shit?” “cooking? Oh it’s a spell” I mean cooking is spellwork

“Just throw the bowl. It’s easy” “what the hell? He’s Men of Letters; you can’t use him for anything? Holy shit” “Is he going to stab him 37 times? Or 66 times? What’s the magic number?” “nope. Not going to stab him extra” “They fucked up the white balance. Unless it’s snowing out” “to be fair, repainting that would be a lot of work” “Donkey teeth. I like that” “that way he can carry a little ass around in his pocket”

[banisheed]

TIMING: Some time ago LOCATION: Regis Coleslaw's Apartment PARTIES: Siobhan and Emilio SUMMARY: In 2018, Regis Coleslaw posed for a new employee at Shift Space, Inc. Overworked, underpaid and underappreciated, Regis forced herself to smile as widely as she could. She was looking forward to a quiet night in her apartment, curled up with her cat and her succulents. She cut across the Wormwoods, hoping for a shortcut. In 2023, Siobhan Dolan hires Emilio Cortez to help locate the woman she thinks she's looking for. They discover the outcome of Regis's shortcut and the reality of living half-lives.

—

The piss-boy, Emilio Cortez, could not be trusted. What sort of man didn’t know how to potty train a dog, was poor, had an office that looked either like a bad noir film or a high-budget porno? And what was PI if not the first two letters in ‘piss’? No, Siobhan had to make sure this was done yet. If Regis Coleslaw was her banshee, she needed to be there. Regis would like to see a friendly and beautiful face, she thought. Instead of the unfriendly, but still beautiful, face of Emilio. Yes, one thing the piss-boy did have going for him was his looks. It was tragic they were wasted on someone so poor and stupid. “I doubt Regis Coleslaw would live in a hovel such as this,” Siobhan commented loudly, waving at the dilapidated building they were approaching. When she’d gotten word that Emilio was hot on the trail of Regis, she’d come along without invitation or notice or apology. Which was typically how she went anywhere. “Are you sure your information is correct? I expected less…” She pointed to the small pile of trash bags by the door, buzzing with an orchestra of flies. “…let’s just say I expected it to look less like your office did.” 

—

Most of his clients weren’t particularly involved in the cases they gave him. That was to be expected. People hired a PI to find information they couldn’t or didn’t want to obtain themselves, and part of that fee covered the convenience of not having to do any of the dirty work. Emilio liked it that way. Only having to speak to the client once or twice before getting paid worked for him. But… This latest client was different. 

She was definitely weird. Emilio wasn’t entirely sure what brand of weird she was — he was learning that ‘supernatural’ weird and ‘normal person’ weird had a lot of unexpected overlap — but there was no denying the strangeness. When she’d shown up at his door just before he headed out to the address he’d found listed for Regis Coleslaw, he wasn’t even particularly surprised. Annoyed, sure, but not surprised. At least the case would be over soon. They’d find this Regis person, he’d get the rest of his fee, and that would be that. He was really looking forward to it.

“This is the address on file,” he replied gruffly, wondering how pissed she’d be if he pulled out his flask. Talking to her was making the idea of drinking more and more tempting. “I’m sure. Look, maybe they’re just hiding out. Sometimes, people don’t want to be found. Hiding out in a place you wouldn’t expect them to be just makes them smart.” She seemed to think highly of Regis, so playing on that might be the best way to quell her complaints here. Or he could stab her. He was really starting to like the idea of stabbing her. “If they’re not here, they’re not here. And you didn’t have to come, by the way. Actually, I think I remember specifically telling you not to.”

—

Siobhan’s face crinkled together. “When you hide away for enough years, you start to realize that living in squalor is the last thing you want.” At least, by the first decade for Siobhan, she’d started to hate radiators and squeaky floorboards and making her bed out of suspiciously stained pillows she’d taken from the dumpster. She was still miserable but at least she was miserable in style. Emilio might learn that lesson one day, though he’d probably die before he got there. A shame. Siobhan turned her attention to the building again. The roof seemed to be caved in and the windows shattered--the jagged glass that remained made her think they’d been broken by impact rather than scream. “One day, Emilio,” she spoke idly, her eyes still focused on the windows, “you’re going to realize that the best cure for sadness is a lot of money; run your next business out of a penthouse.” 

Siobhan’s attention returned to the piss-boy again. “Oh?” She grinned at him. “But then how would we bond? If I hadn’t come, think of all the silence you’d be having right now! How dreadful.” She clicked her tongue against teeth, tutting. “My charm and likeability are saving you from a boring experience; you’re welcome, by the way. I accept payment in bones.” And finally, her attention snapped to the door. It was falling off its hinges, with one push--she was sure--it would topple over. It didn’t look locked. It didn’t look like it had been locked in years. “Do we…knock?”

—

“Some people would call it safer,” he pointed out. Having money, from what he could tell, meant having eyes on you. People noticed the rich in ways they didn’t notice guys like Emilio, who lived in run-down apartments. When things were hard to look at, the natural result was that people looked at them less. For someone in hiding, that was a very tempting thing. This building would be a good place for someone who didn’t want to be found. If Regis fit that bill, it made sense that they’d chosen it to hide out in. “There are plenty of things money can’t get you. A penthouse wouldn’t solve much for me.” It would still be empty of the people he’d want to fill it. He had no desire for that. People would also have a lot more expectations of a PI firm run from a penthouse, and even if he did somehow come into the kind of money Siobhan seemed to think he needed in order to escape ‘squalor,’ his personality still wouldn’t be one that could provide that. 

At Siobhan’s instruction, Emilio did, in fact, think of the silence he would have been experiencing in this moment had she not tagged along. It would have been a wonderful thing. Certainly preferable to this conversation. He sighed, mourning its loss. “What is it with you and bones?” This was the second time she’d mentioned them. Specifically, wanting them. He wasn’t sure he saw the appeal. Looking to the door, he weighed his options. “Depends,” he decided, glancing back to her, “is Regis Coleslaw going to make a break for it if they see you?”

—

“Who cares about safety?” Siobhan replied softly, staring at the woodgrain of the broken door. She had done her part being smart and safe, flinching at every flutter of grass or rustle of leaves--thinking some gaggle of pixies would think she was the next fun target. A traitor could never be safe. What was worse then? That she realized in time that with nothing to lose, she had nothing to fear, or that no one had ever come for her? She was forgotten and all her fear was a strange, self-important desire. Regis might have thought she was forgotten too and what was worse? That the woman who had everything chose to leave or that Siobhan envied her? Perverse as it was, she wished someone would knock her door down and remind her that she mattered at all to someone at some point. If they came, they’d find she didn’t care about losing her shiny car or decades worth of baubles. Her back burned with the memory of her mother’s vicious hands pulling at her wings. She rolled her shoulders. “We’re all going to die one day, you might as well let it come in style.”

Emilio’s words snapped her out of her mind and she turned to face him. “We all have our things; yours is piss and mine is bones,” she smiled easily, finding the rhythm of hurting someone else easy under the talon-grip of her own sadness. Emilio was nothing more than a therapeutic punching bag and Regis was nothing more than a means to an end. She’d have a life with purpose and family again, and that would be that. “Regis Coleslaw doesn’t know what I look like,” Siobhan sighed. “She has no idea who I am, even, and I have no idea how she might feel about me.” Siobhan didn’t care either. If Regis was in a place like this, she must have been afraid of the banshees of saol elie; Siobhan had already lost the battle of a good impression. “What does it matter? I want her. I don’t care how I get her, I just need her alive.” She sighed again, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Now are we knocking or can we stop pretending like this door is even locked?”

—

“You’d be surprised.” Emilio might not put a lot of stock in his own safety these days but if being a detective had taught him anything, it was that other people did. He’d had plenty of cases that took the form of someone just trying to ensure they were safe in one way or another. Sometimes, they needed leverage on someone else, dirt that they could use to cover their own back and ensure mutually assured destruction if they needed it. Other times, that desire for safety came in the form of asking him to find someone whose location was unknown, either because they would feel safer knowing where they were or because they needed them close in order to feel all right. Most people were only trying to be safe, whatever that looked like. Siobhan, it seemed, was the exception to that. It was a little refreshing, even if she was annoying. “Doesn’t matter if you die in style or not. You’re just as dead either way.”

He rolled his eyes at her statement, gritting his teeth just a little. “That isn’t my thing.” Not that he knew what his thing was. Something depressing, most likely. A bottle of whiskey, a dirty knife. Nothing worth having, but still better than whatever it was she had going on with bones. The Regis Coleslaw mystery seemed to be growing more and more with each stone he uncovered. Siobhan was looking for someone who didn’t know who she was or how she might feel. She needed this person alive. She didn’t know what she looked like, but she thought the idea that she’d live in a crumbling apartment was preposterous. There was definitely something odd about the whole situation, but… Emilio wasn’t getting paid for those questions. He was getting paid for this. 

Deciding knocking was a risk, he shrugged. “All right, all right. We can just…” The hair on the back of his neck stood up. That familiar almost-nausea tugged at his gut, persistent and loud. He heard footsteps on the other side of the door, but the only heartbeats he could hear were his and Siobhan’s. There was a low noise, like an animal growling. Cursing, Emilio grabbed Siobhan by the arm and yanked her out of the way just as the door burst open to reveal twisted features and red eyes. Christ. Not only was Siobhan’s Regis Coleslaw a fucking vampire, she was a feral one. Letting out a mangled cry, the vampire leaped forward, going straight for his client’s throat. “¡Puta madre! Maldita cosa estúpida…” He couldn’t exactly get paid if his client was eaten, and Regis Coleslaw seemed too far gone to reason with, so Emilio yanked out his stake, grabbing the vampire by the shoulder and yanking it backwards, throwing it back into the apartment and rushing after it. 

Maybe it was good that Siobhan had come with him after all. He got the feeling that this one would have been hard to explain otherwise.

—

Siobhan did not enjoy being yanked, but she could forgive the act when the cause was a starved vampire. The creature streaked across her vision, closing into her. She smiled in its face--her face, though gender was a construct very far from the mind of the creature. Once upon a time, maybe, it might have been a ‘her’. Siobhan could see the tattered remains of a pastel floral skirt and a sensible white blouse; the pieces of a personality that were lost. “Can I interest you in a mint or…?” But before the creature could meet her neck in a not-so-sexy bite, it was off of her and focused on Emilio. “No! Not Emilio! He’s too sexy to die now!” Not that he was, she would’ve screamed if he was, but Fate could still change and Siobhan had no preferences either way. As long as it wasn’t her sweet blood being made a meal of. “If you eat him, leave me his bones!” She called out into the murky depths of the dilapidated apartment. “Emilio, I realize you have a stake and that means you know how to use it but I just think if I’m going into business with a slayer I should be warned beforehand so I can prepare my wood jokes.”

She followed the sounds of struggle, watching Emilio with the thin body of someone who once loved sensible-office-lady fashions. “You’re doing a wood job right now.” She paused, running a hand through her hair as a frustrated sigh slipped through her lips. “See? I would be doing so much better if you just let me prepare.” She leaned up against the broken door frame, arms crossed over her chest. “If it makes you feel more confident,” she called out over the sounds of their struggle, “you’re not actually going to die. Not yet, at least. Oh, but you are dying whittle by whittle every day.” Maybe when Emilio was done fighting, he would admit that one was a good joke.

—

At this point, Emilio could fight a feral vampire in his sleep. He’d been doing shit like this since he was a child, had been tossed in rooms with feral beasts before he had a sound grasp on what those beasts were. It was almost a comfort, having something as familiar as a vampire to fight. What was less familiar was Siobhan’s commentary. “Not helping,” he called back in her direction, ducking to avoid the vampire’s attempt to bite his neck. She wouldn’t have liked what she found there, of course — slayer blood wasn’t a very tasty snack — but he’d still like to avoid having his throat torn out if at all possible. Although, if the alternative was hearing Siobhan’s best ‘wood jokes,’ maybe bleeding out in Regis Coleslaw’s shitty apartment wouldn’t be so bad. “You’re not getting my pinche bones. Stop asking.” 

Feral vampires were strong, but stupid. There wasn’t much difference between this and a spawn, when you got down to it. Sure, maybe with enough blood, this one could get back to something resembling human eventually, but right now? That just wasn’t an option. If it was kill or be killed here, Emilio would take the former if only to avoid the embarrassment of being murdered by a fairly killable vampire in front of someone who would almost certainly pick apart his corpse and make off with his femur after. He glanced back curiously as Siobhan assured him that he wasn’t going to die with all the confidence of someone who knew it for a fact, narrowing his eyes momentarily. The suspicion couldn’t last, of course; not with Regis Coleslaw doing her damndest to make a meal out of his throat. 

Turning back to the fight, Emilio grunted and shoved the vampire off of him and into a coffee table which shattered with the force of the impact. It didn’t do much to slow the vampire down, but it did put Siobhan back into its line of sight. It moved for the professor again, and Emilio barely managed to grab it by the hair and yank it back again, turning it and pulling it onto his stake. There was a moment of quiet then, a heartbeat where it seemed the vampire was registering its own death before it collapsed into a pile of dust all over the front of Emilio’s shirt. Great. “All right,” he said, dusting off his shirt as best he could, “there you go. Regis Coleslaw. Sorry there’s no bones, but have some dust.”

—

Siobhan wasn’t sure why ‘slayer battles vampire’ wasn’t a national broadcast sport but she was, at that moment, convinced it would make for wonderful TV. Not only was Emilio sufficiently stressed, annoyed and still bursting with that hunter determination, but the former Regis Coleslaw made a beautifully tragic case. Being in the ‘splash zone’—as it was now known in the sport of slayer watching—Siobhan enjoyed a level of personal thrill. When the vampire came for her again, Siobhan remained smiling. And as Emilio predictably pulled the creature away from her, leaving Siobhan unharmed and only a little disappointed, she wondered if she could sell this experience for a few hundred dollars. 

As Emilio rose, dusting the remains of Regis Coleslaw off of him, Siobhan frowned. “You couldn’t have extended this a little? I was having a grand time over here.” Of course, ‘slayer battles vampire’ wouldn’t be so profitable if the vampires were done too quickly. It was a conundrum that she wouldn’t ponder again outside of this moment as she would inevitably forget to. She frowned again. “No thank you on the dust, it clogs my pores.” She gestured to her face as if to demonstrate that her having clogged pores would be an extreme tragedy. “I still have a few wood jokes in me, but I guess you have to leaf now.” Did that count? Siobhan was counting it. She stepped closer, staring down at the spot the vampire had once been. She held no sympathy for the undead, the abominations that they were, but there was always something strange in seeing someone here one moment and then knowing that they were gone forever in the next. Death, even when it happened to those already dead, was an emptying feeling—being upturned and shaken out over an endless pit. She reached down and picked up the ID card that had snapped off her shirt when her body exploded into dust. It was the clip-on sort of work ID and sure enough the woman had been named Regis Coleslaw and one day in 2018 she had posed for a photo with a big smile on her face. She had brown eyes and brown hair and a small arrangement of freckles across her nose. 

Siobhan turned to Emilio, who had finished the job she’d hired him to do by all accounts. She flipped the ID around towards him. “Do you ever think about this? Or are they all just monsters to you? All the way through?” Siobhan didn’t ask because she cared, but it was a curiosity that played in her mind. Her fingers tightened around the clip. “You’re free to leave, by the way, I think I’ll stay to see if Regis ate someone whose bones I can pilfer—Hm, is it pilfering if they’re dead? Repurpose. Whose bones I can repurpose.” She smiled. “You’ll have your money by the end of the day, I’ll deliver it to your piss office. But before you go, if you could…” She rattled the ID. “I’m curious; indulge me.” And no, she would not be thanking him though he did objectively save her life—it didn’t count if she wasn’t really going to die anyway. 

—

Christ, Siobhan looked so smug about the whole thing. Like it was a game, like it was something funny that was happening on a television screen and not a potentially deadly fight right in front of her. It wasn’t hard to guess that she knew something was ‘different’ about Wicked’s Rest, but Emilio was beginning to wonder if she might actually have a few screws loose to go along with the knowledge. Most people were at least a little concerned when a vampire went for their throat. Siobhan was smiling. 

“Didn’t feel like letting her take a bite out of you. You might not have paid me if she had,” he replied dryly, though his expression betrayed some interest in the cavalier way she walked into the apartment. “Guess we’ll leave it for the maid, then.” Another joke; it was clear from the state of the apartment that Regis Coleslaw hadn’t had a maid. From the looks of things, she might not have even owned a vacuum. At least Siobhan’s pre-existing knowledge of the undead meant Emilio wouldn’t have to stay around to explain things to her.

Though it did not, apparently, save him from all explanations.

He looked down at the ID badge, at the smiling photograph of the person who’d once been inside the creature he’d just turned to dust. The smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, something he’d noticed was common with staged photos. If you wanted to really capture someone, it couldn’t be by telling them to smile. In the photo, Regis Coleslaw looked a little tired. Like working at Shift Space, Inc. had exhausted her even before her badge was printed. There were more hints of her lost humanity scattered around the apartment than there were in that picture, of course. The shoes tucked under the sofa. The wilting plants hanging by the window. The fan whirring from the bedroom. She’d been a person, once.

But not anymore.

“She was too far gone,” he said, looking to Siobhan with a shrug. “In a state like that… If she hadn’t killed someone already, she was going to. And maybe she would have come back to herself, after, but it would have been too late. Some people you can save. Some people you can’t. Being able to recognize that is the only thing that’ll stop somebody from losing their goddamn mind.” He plucked the name badge from between her fingers, tossing it over to the coffee table. Eventually, someone would come looking for Regis Coleslaw and find an empty apartment and a name badge. Maybe they’d tell themselves she’d gone off somewhere, found a better life. Maybe that’d be better for everyone. 

Deciding not to question the bone thing — there was some shit that Emilio really didn’t want to know about — the detective turned to walk towards the door. He paused under the archway, tapping his knuckles against the doorframe absently. “I’m charging an extra fee,” he informed her. “Stabbing’s not included in the base price. Good luck with your bones.” And then, he was gone.

—

Siobhan had been raised on rights and wrongs: right to be a banshee, wrong to be a human, right to be a devout servant, wrong to have any emotion. Hunters sometimes shared the same blacks and whites that she could comprehend: all vampires bad, all fae evil, humans good. Emilio’s response sucked the amusement right from her. It was a sensible answer, of course, but Siobhan lived in the gray that he had set out. Some people could be saved. Some couldn’t. It seemed like another black and white but one so strange in its idea; some people could be saved. Some people could be saved. Some. People. Could. Be. Saved. 

Siobhan watched the ID sail through the air. She didn’t know what Emilio meant. For the first time in her life, she had encountered a sentiment so bizarre that she couldn’t parse it. The individual words she understood: some meaning not all. People meaning people. Could meaning possible to happen. Be meaning can be done. Saved meaning… 

Siobhan swallowed. Behind her, the dull thudding of Emilio’s receding footsteps echoed through the room. His voice went off, something about charging more; it was funny, Emilio could be funny when he wanted, she realized. His voice was a little deeper than Siobhan thought it would be for his face, she noticed that before but the hollowness of Regis’s apartment accentuated it. He wished her good luck. He was gone. Some people, he said, could be saved. Siobhan burst out at once, bubbling over with questions: what did he mean? Saved from what? Who counted? How could he tell them apart? Did this make him an arbitrator of salvation? Saved meaning what? How could someone be saved? 

Siobhan picked up the tattered remains of Regis’s clothes, folding each article and setting it aside neatly on the cushion of the sofa. She pulled the shoes that were underneath until they sat out like they were ready to be worn. She grabbed the ID Emilio had thrown and laid it to rest on Regis’s sensible blouse. Her dust went in the nicest Tupperware container Siobhan could find from the kitchen and she put that out on the coffee table. For the next hour, Siobhan sat beside everything that remained of Regis and pretended she knew what salvation felt like. 

[lore-gore]

So you guys know Play to Win, right?

Well I edited the lyrics to take out the ableism and better fit Ocean's current character:

(Sung)

The art to win an argument ain’t changed much over time

You read and rule your public first,

And then you change their mind

If the judge looks like a hippie

Your foe’s a right-wing nut

If the judge seems like a holy hostile Pentecostal

Then your foe’s a godless hedonistic slut

(Porno!)

Demonize your opponents with personal attacks

Quote some fake authorities and unrelated facts

Create a false dilemma like, “you’re with us or you ain’t”

Ask the pot a loaded question

“How can you say that Adolf Hitler was a saint?”

Oh, the tale of human history is one of damn’ed battery

(Ensemble)

It works on the mob every time

(Ocean)

This candy-coated recipe of black and white morality

(Ensemble)

That’s how we like our swine!

Mm-hmm!

(Ocean)(Sung)

In this world there’s just one sin

(All)

Don’t play the game unless you play to win

(You play to win)

(Ocean)(spoken)

Why does my opposition feel the need to defend pedophiles?

(You play to win)

(Ricky) (spoken)

And the winner of the municipal debate is Miss Rosenberg

(You play to win)

(Ocean) (spoken)

I’m very upset, my brother just died

(Constance) (spoken)

But you don’t have a brother

(Ocean) (spoken)

Shut up!

(You play to win)

(Ricky) (spoken)

She’s done it again folks! And the crowd goes wild for Miss Rosenberg

(All)

Play to win

Play to win

Play to win

(Ocean)

That’s the road to perdition

Soon you’re gonna wind up a back-stabbing, ass-grabbing, rubberneck politician!

When you wrestle with poop (Win or lose!)

Oh, listen to me child (Sing these blues!)

It’s gonna get on your shoe (Win or lose!)

You’re gonna be defiled (Gonna be defiled!)

When the game is over

You’re knockin’ at heaven’s door,

It’s only your soul, your soul alone that’s keeping score!

I said it's only your soul alone

That's keepin' score

(Sing it sister!)

Oh yeah!

When you wrestle with poop (Win or lose!)

Oh, listen to me child (Sing these blues!)

It’s gonna get on your shoe (Win or lose!)

You’re gonna be defiled (Gonna be defiled!)

And when that game is over

And you’re knockin’ at heaven’s door,

It’s only your soul, your soul alone that’s keeping score!

When you wrestle with poop (Win or lose!)

Oh, listen to me child (Sing these blues!)

It’s gonna get on your shoe (Win or lose!)

You’re gonna be defiled (Gonna be defiled!)

And when that game is over

And you’re knockin’ at heaven’s door,

It’s only your soul, your soul alone that’s keeping score!

Who’s keeping score! (Who’s keeping score) x5

It’s only your soul, your soul alone that’s keepin’ score

I'll edit the audio too when I find the time.