#It really is genuinely just an incredibly fucked up place to live! Anyone will tell you that! Apart from if they're rich enough to miss it

[the-magpie-archives]

I love blogging about tma as a Londoner because the majority of the fandom don't live here so I could say the most insane bullshit ever and it'd be really hard to disprove...

Anyways Breekon and Hope delivered my amazon package today how fucked up is that?

[midnightsxblue]

SO FUCKING ANXIOUS

carl grimes x reader

tags: some angst but mostly fluff

masterlist here!

sorry for the aggressive title :>

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The apocalypse was never easy on you, granted it wasn’t easy on anyone but you were always the type to say you’d never make it in a world like that. And you believed that, genuinely. Until you met Carl. You felt so lucky to have someone like him to love you, he’d known you so well, especially after all you’d been through together.

After the prison and Terminus, you hated the thought of crossing any human again, anyone who wasn’t in the group.

He knew everything that was slightly stress inducing to you, he made sure to make you feel relatively safe even in the worst of situations. When you’d gotten to Alexandria, you felt so incredibly relieved. Strong walls, not having to worry about scavenging for dinner or walkers, you were ecstatic.

That was until walkers had breached the walls. Every feeling you had telling you were safe was gone completely. Everything worsened when Carl got shot, you had no idea what to do or who to go to. You’d gone to him for everything and he couldn’t be there for you this time.

You had hoped and hoped for hours he’d wake up. Eventually he did and everything was weary for a month or two. The transition back to normal after losing the sense of security in Alexandria was rough. You didn’t think you’d be able to return to normal. You saw a slight glimpse of hope as new settlements were introduced.

That also went to shit.

You knew what your people had done at the satellite station would come back to bite you all in the ass and you couldn’t help but feel so fucking anxious about it.

The night of the lineup was your worst nightmare come to life. Carl checked up on you throughout, knowing how you could get in those kinds of situations. He reassured you no matter how many times a savior told him to shut his trap. He didn’t care. Not about them. But he cared about you.

Thankfully Carl was able to help your through your nerves, and he did that successfully quite often. He was especially helpful when Negan and the Saviors had arrived to Alexandria’s gates.

One particular afternoon Negan had arrived with his men was a particularly hard day for you. You weren’t expecting them, they had come early.

Usually the saviors never interacted with you but today…was different. Carl had found a Walkman for you so that whenever you got anxious you could just listen to music and hold his hand and you’d feel okay. Once the message that the Saviors had arrived relayed back to the two of you, Carl told you to listen to music and stick by his side.

Your thoughts immediately turned to the worst. What if they did something to you, what if they took you. What if they too Carl? You wouldn’t be able to handle that. You can barely last a couple hours without him, you wouldn’t be okay if they did something to him or took him back to the sanctuary.

So you did. Carl took your hand and wandered through Alexandria with you, ensuring everyone was safe as the Saviors raided the place. You noticed something across the street. Negan was harassing a woman that had lived there since the beginning. They were practically ripping apart the inside of her house as she waited outside.

“Look, lady, with all due respect, I really don’t think this television is this goddamn important.” Negan says, mocking the woman who was sobbing at the fact her home was being destroyed, not about the stupid TV. Your grip on Carl’s hand grew tighter and you couldn’t help but retreat behind him a little. Negan laughed at the woman and looked around to see if anyone was watching and unfortunately he caught a glimpse of the two of you.

You both tried continuing down the path before he called out.

“Woahhh where you both off to in a hurry?” His tone is sardonic and you both stop in your tracks. Carl looks at you and slides the headphones off your ears to rest them at the back of your neck. “Let me handle it. It’ll be okay.” He reassures, knowing this would be harsh on you. He pulls you in to place a kiss at the top of your head which was unusual for him. He was never affectionate in public, let alone in front of Negan and the Saviors. He was trying to make you feel better.

He turns to Negan and clutches your hand before slowly making his way across the street to the woman’s house where he remained, the woman now sitting on the steps of her house unable to cry anymore.

“What do we have here? The pirate and his partner?” He giggles and you hold Carl’s arm, standing somewhat behind him, avoiding Negan’s gaze. Carl just looks at him silently, not stirring anything up with him to ensure your safety. Negan looks at the two of you, trying to figure out some way to break you. He reaches around Carl and grabs your arm, pulling you beside him rather than behind him. Carl does nothing but glare at Negan.

“This one’s a little shy, huh?” Carl tilts his head and Negan grins at this, wagging his finger in Carls face. “Watch that eye. You know what happened to your dad the last time he looked at me like that if you-” Carl cuts him off. “What do you want?” He snaps. “Hold on now, no need to get snippy at me, young man.” Negan says comedically. “I just wanna see what music is on the tapes.” He gestures to the Walkman attached to your jeans.

“It’s not yours.” Carl blurted, realizing he’d definitely get a reaction from the way he worded his statement. “Oh Carl, you see, it is mine actually. Because everything here, all the shit that’s yours, is mine. Remember? I’m sure you do.” He turns to you. “And I know you do too, you were there for that lesson if I recall correctly.” Negan remarked, rubbing the worst night of your life in your face. “God damn, were you crying like hell. I’m surprised that many tears could come out of a person like that.” He laughs, you feel tears begin welling in your eyes.

Carl notices and feels helpless for a moment, unsure of what to do. He looks to Negan and sighs. “Please. Just…don’t take it.” He says, almost a whisper. Negan looks at him and steps back from the both of you. You retreat back behind Carl and Negan smiles. “Since I’m feelin oh-so generous today, I’ll let you keep the damn Walkman. I just wanna know whatcha listenin to.” He says to you, tilting to the side since you’re practically hiding behind Carl at this point.

The tears have left your eyes, now irrelevant as you muster up the courage to talk to him without crying more. “I-Its just Fleetwood Mac.” You answer. He nods with a satisfied look on his face. You grip onto Carl’s arm a tad tighter and his hand slides into yours. “Well that’s a very good choice.” He smiles. “Now why don’t you go find your dad and send him my way. I want him to walk me out like a proper host.” He tells Carl.

Finally.

After the saviors had left that evening you and Carl returned back to the house, or rather what was left of it. They had only really left the couch and the chairs, they took yours and Carl’s bed and most of the other furniture in the house. You sat on the couch with Carl, lying on top of him as you listened to your music. He rubbed your back gently as he rested his head against your ear to hear the music as well. That was his next mission: find earbuds.

He scoots back a little and slides the headphone off your ear. “You feelin better?” He asks softly. You nod. “Yeah I’m okay. Just got a little worried I guess.” You respond as he runs his hand through your hair.

“You don’t have to be. I’m here for you. I promise.”

─── ─── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ─── ───

a/n: i hope this was okayyyy i love writing negan for some reason, he’s so funny. anyway this was funnn so thank u anon i hope you like it :D i also hope you guys like fleetwood mac or this is gonna be really awkward :o

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for bad-mouthing my boyfriend’s toxic family?

(🐈‍⬛ For me to recognize my post later)

I (20f) have a boyfriend (21m) who is physically disabled and still currently living at home with his parents for a while as he tries to scrape his savings together to move in with me. This wouldn’t be an issue, if his parents weren’t immensely transphobic (he’s trans) and outright abusive towards him. Despite having an official doctor’s diagnosis for ALL of his issues, both mental and physical, they just?? Like to pretend that he’s completely able-bodied, and that he’s making up his issues “for attention” (<- something that they’ve actually said to him)

My bf isn’t ready to leave the house just yet because he doesn’t want to feel like a burden and wants to be able to support himself without my help, despite my constant offering and support, but this ofc just means that he’s STAYING in that house, and it’s clear that it effects him really negatively. He’s improved a lot since I’ve met him in high school, but him being in that house is just. Awful for his health, his self esteem, literally everything. I guess I understand his reasonings for not leaving (he’s on his parents’ health insurance, his dad’s a vet so he gets a ton of money off his college bill, he’s got a little sister at home that he doesn’t want to leave alone, etc etc), but at the same time, I fucking HATE his parents, more than I’ve ever hated anyone in my life. He’s such an amazing guy, but I’ve seen him reduced to panic attacks just on their words alone, and it’s awful and I hate them.

I’m also very vocal with this hate. I tell him all the time. Whenever he vents to me, or mentions something awful that his parents have/had done in passing, or tries to excuse their behavior, I will tell him point-blank that I hate his parents and that he needs to leave. He gets incredibly upset whenever I say stuff like that, however, and has asked me multiple times to quit it, but it’s just so hard to see him loving them so fiercely when they literally only give him the bare minimum in return.

The reason for this post at all is because I started going off on a tangent about two days ago when he managed to escape (he has to ask for permission every time he wants to go out) to my place to destress and have a small date night, and I specifically asked him how his parents had been treating him recently because he’d been pretty quiet about it. He got really quiet and eventually told me that they keep adding really weird stuff to do for his household responsibilities (ex: dusting the UNDERSIDE of tables??) and that they’re now threatening to take away the things he loves (his phone, his books, his DOOR) if he doesn’t keep up with the new workload, which is especially hard because, again, he’s DISABLED. Well this pissed me off, because they’ve done shit like that in the past and it never ends well for him, and I started talking about how much his parents suck and how I wish he would just leave, and he got really quiet and just said “I think I’m just gonna leave now” and just. Left

In the aftermath, I feel awful about it. We’ve texted a few times since then, and he says that he’s okay and that it was fine, and how he just needs to get over it, but it’s very clear that he’s still upset by it and just trying not to make it a big issue. I know that he hates it when I badmouth his parents, but I genuinely do not know any other way to get it into his head that he needs to leave as soon as possible, if only to save his own health. I love him so so much, we’ve been together since high school, we would die for each other, and we’ve been through so much that not very many couples have had to go through, especially not at our age. I sincerely just want the best for him, and this feels like I could open the topic again and try to make him SEE, but I’m just worried that I might have upset him this time in a way that he might not be able to get over.

Sorry for this getting so long, I just feel very strongly about it and I want to know if I’m the AH here and should lay off, or keep trying to make him see that he just needs to get out as soon as possible. So tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[woodsfae]

B5 s02e21 • Comes the Inquisitor Jack the Fucking Ripper table of contents • previous episode

Oh, man. G'Kar is totally right, but of course no one's taking him seriously.

"Are you willing to sacrifice all that you are to keep all that you have?"

Yeah, war destroys you. Everything G'Kar says lately I'm like "That's absolutely horrible! But you're right!"

Oooo, Vir Cotto is up to something! I hope he keeps exceeding my expectations.

Another Delenn and Kosh secret meeting. I am so amused by their relationship. And interested! Lennier said Kosh was calling for Delenn. Was it on the local landline, or something more metaphysical? Is Lennier a telepath? I'm guessing that Delenn isn't actually a telepath, just has incredibly well honed insight, but we've seen so little of other species' telepathy that I'm just itching to learn more. It would be sensible to assign a telepath to be high-ranking, but isolated dignitaries' aides.

O.o The Vorlon have something called inquisitors! And one is going to interrogate Delenn!! Whoa. I wonder if they're a Vorlon, or just a contact of the Vorlons.

I love how there's always more and more and more worldbuilding and plot for me to sink my teeth into. The silliest episodes and exchanges are still so rich and dense with information.

omfg. MORE AWKWARD FLIRTING. And Delenn and John haven't even mutually held hands yet.

Lennier: "If you do the right thing for the wrong reasons, the work becomes corrupted, and ultimately self-destructive. Ambassador Kosh wishes confirmation that the right people are in the right place at the right time."

That's a bit of an american xtian idea of rightness of actions. US Pres Nixon was a bad dude, but he still passed the civil rights act, which has immeasurably improved lives. It doesn't diminish all the lives saved or the good done that he was also a slime-sucking toerag.

The guy G'Kar is meeting has a really strong prescription on his glasses. And of course people are war profiteering off the desperate Narn.

The Narn are more dangerous now than they've ever been. They're backed into a tiny corner, with nowhere to go but out and through anyone trapping them there.

This person arrived on a Vorlon ship…. I'm so curious if Vorlons are humanoid or can disguise themselves believably as different, lower-order species. He's implying he's human, but I have my doubts.

oh-hohohoho!! Protective Sheridan! cute.

WHOA. This guy, Sebastian (?) first met the Vorlons in 1888! incredible. A genuine Victorian in the 23rd century, who's going to psychically interrogate an alien from a society which has been spacefaring for tens of thousands of years. That's so cool.

Garibaldi: "Don't endanger B5. Got it? OK. Here's my illegal contacts who can help out, maybe. ;) byeeeeee <3"

Garbaldi, a real quote this time: "Like you said. I never start a conversation unless I know where it's going, but I always leave a little room for someone to disappoint me. Thanks for not doing it."

Made me laugh. And then also uncomfortably squirm. I'm a little like that, too. (damn you JMS, making me identify with characters I dislike! *shakes fist*)

This meeting with Sebastian and Delenn is so fairytale-like.

Someone should tell Sebastian and the Vorlons that you get better results with positive reinforcement than with punishment methods. It gets harder and harder to think the more you are in suspense of when the next pain will come. How very Victorian of this guy, though.

"Do you know how many have stood before me as you stand now? Proud, defiant, full of their own boated self-importance. Confident that they are chosen, special, chosen of God? All of them have broken. And better for everyone that they did. Better to spare others the illusion of false hope. You have the audacity to presume that you are on a mission form god, embarked on a noble cause. I don't believe it. And by the time you leave here, neither will you."

I dunno, dude. You might have gotten better results if you'd taught people to cultivate the type of qualities you think you need to succeed.

This whole thing makes a little more sense if I assume he's telepathically reading her and using her being pushed off balance to see more truth in her mind…I guess. This feels like very dated ideas of psychology. People are not more themselves when they're in pain, being arbitrarily punished, and given no useful instructions. They're just confused and hurting.

I think, that like a fairytale, he's already given her the answer disguised as a lie - he said if she removed the manacles, she would be failing the Vorlons. I think if she stands up for herself and refuses to be electrocuted anymore, she will show true strength of will and clarity of purpose.

Hah, Vir didn't even know he was getting into an elevator with G'Kar. very awkward. But actually, they could be good friends! Vir hates genocide, G'Kar hates being genocided.

Vir: "I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do, but… I tried telling them, but they wouldn't listen. They never listen! I'm sorry." G'Kar: cuts his hand with his knife "Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. How do you apologize to them?" Vir: "I can't." G'Kar: "Then I cannot forgive." Me: 🥺

How very decent of Vir to say something, though. I bet he's the only Centauri who has said, to a Narn, that they are sorry and tried to prevent the atrocities from taking place.

Back to Sebastian the Victorian who rivals Freud in his weird-ass theories about finding the truth about people!!

This dude is a sadist. Perhaps the Vorlons' true test is seeing if someone will ever decide the universe is better off without him.

Hmmm. He will reward her for admitting that she questions herself, her clarity of purpose, and her beliefs. He's still full of shit, though.

"Your only destiny is to be the nail that get hammered down. Bang, bang, bang."

asshole.

Sebastian: "You're being a fool!" Delenn: "Then I am a fool. But it's better to be what I am than what you are." Sebastian: "And what am I? Please - tell me." Delenn: "You are a creature which has received pain and given pain, and taken too much joy in its application. You have aspired to dreams and been disappointment because you are not strong enough , or worthy enough, or right enough. So you lash out at anyone who believes they can make a difference because it reminds you of your own failure. You have to prove they're just as bad, just as flawed as you are. Am I close, Mr Sebastian?" Sebastian: "Bang." *electrocutes Delenn*

Yeah, he needs to die. There's no fucking way that standing there and taking being degraded, verbally abused, and physically tortured is what the Vorlons are looking for.

There's a lot in this episode I disagree and agree with, and all of it so completely believable and understandable in a complex situation. The writing on this show is so smart and impresses the hell out of me over and over again. Not this part with Sebastian, though. That's just wacked out of the Vorlons.

Yes, Lennier to the rescue!! More heads are better. Cooperation and collective action is key. Being tortured alone doesn't make you strong, it just makes you injured.

And he's not done yet! Getting reinforcements, gathering allies! Siccing Sheridan on Kosh!

Sebastian was expecting, or pretending he was expecting, someone to interfere.

Oh. Well a line of flame and concussive force wasn't a power I expected from Sebastian! What a fun practical effect! My guess is that they put a line of gasoline or kerosene on the floor, then Sebastian struck his cane, with something to strike a spark, on the end of the line of flammable liquid. Then, Sheridan did a fantastic pretend-to-be-blown-away jump back and they added the air punch with CGI in post production.

Sheridan's all tied up, and the mind games continue! I judge the Vorlons less for this extreme action because they're so higher-dimensional I'm impressed they are even able to interact with the cast in any meaningful way. Like how we can make a puppet bee dance the dance of "Food five miles to the south-west across a river," but we don't have the fine manipulations to stroke the bees with our puppet antenna and say "welcome home, sister. Give me your burden so I can carry it into the hives while you rest."

And I judge Sebastian less because, since 1888, he has been a little bee trying to learn from the puppet-bees, and that would warp anyone.

But seriously, the torture is unhelpful.

Delenn, you badass.

Sebastian: "One single move, gesture, and his life is snuffed out. Or yours. You would trade your life for his? I thought you had a destiny. Is that destiny not worth one life?" Delenn: "If I fall, another would take my place, and another. And another!" Sebastian: "But your great cause?" Delenn: "This is my cause! Life! One life, or a million, it's all the same!" Sebastian: "Then you make the sacrifice willingly?" Delenn: "Yes!" Sebastian: "No fame, no armies or banners or cities to celebrate your name. You will die alone and unremarked. And forgotten." Delenn: "This body is only a shell. You cannot touch me. You cannot harm me. I am not afraid."

Delenn is fine as hell for that, for her emotional fortitude, and for her grace and sincerity. But really, there was no need for the 4d torture chess. Particularly the christian ethics lesson aspect. Sebastian is deranged. He's been 'round the twist since the 1880s.

Background check on Sebastian! He and his address are either going to be accurate, or have never existed in any capacity.

Sinclair's Rangers arranged for the communication between that one Narn and his family on Narn! They are super useful! Good job Sinclair!

It'd be a real nut-kicker if, after G'Kar has earned, once again, the faith of his people in exile, the weapons-dealer rips them off.

Records confirm that Sebastian lived on earth in London in 1888. And that he vanished without a trace. Right after Jack the Ripper's last murder. He was a fanatic, and a murderer, by his own admission. And now he tortures and murders at the direction of the Vorlons. They tore him down and then set him loose with the same directives as his self-appointed former mission of violence.

Jack the Ripper: "Perhaps, they will finally let me die." Sheridan: "I think that might be wise."

STONE COLD. a;dskgfjas;dkjgas I agree. Dude is incredibly twisted and doesn't even enjoy it. Do the Vorlons know they took a madman and drove him even more mad? Do they know their little bee they took from its hive has been longing for death?

I don't want to come to the notice of higher beings. Particularly not B5's version of them.

on to the season finale!

[zsykodex]

The reception of Himeno is fucking infuriating. Like holy shit.

Because you can't condemn Himeno for predatory behavior while conveniently ignoring the fact that the majority of Public Safety obviously KNOWS the shit she pulls and nobody does a goddamn thing. Himeno is reckless and self-destructive because she places little to no value on her own life and her actions end up causing problems for herself and the other people around her. The thing is, everyone KNOWS the shit she pulls and nobody takes it seriously, including her. When they're drinking, one of the people at the table literally says she's smooched almost everyone at the table while drunk at one point or another and it's treated as insignificant. She's not subtle or secretive because she's enabled by the fucked up system that she works in, the same system that caused her to develop all these destructive habits in the first place. Hell, Aki is supposed to be responsible for Denji at this point. He knows damn well what Himeno is like and he's one of the few people who's opinion holds any weight to her, yet he doesn't do anything. Whether you like it or not, Aki did absolutely Fuck All when he knew that his Very Drunk friend was going to kiss this 16 y.o. because she promised him it if he stayed in line and got them out of the job alive. What does he do? Well he ALSO gets drunk off his ass in an attempt to get information out of Makima. After the puke kiss incident, while everyone is going home, nobody even does anything after realizing that Himeno and Denji are both suddenly gone. Aki more than likely knows where she lives or at least has her number but again doesn't do a damn thing. Frankly I'm also sick of people acting like Himeno would've been 100% in the wrong if Denji had accepted her INCREDIBLY INTOXICATED proposal to sleep with him. She's so drunk she genuinely doesn't even remember how he ended up in her apartment. You cannot tell me that a sober 16 y.o. choosing to sleep with a woman too out of her head to even remember the past couple of hours is the goddamned victim in that situation. I know Denji wasn't exactly raised to understand morality but "don't sleep with someone who's shitfaced" isn't exactly a complicated thing to understand either. We all know that ignorance doesn't typically mean innocence and that doesn't change just because it's being applied to a minor. Himeno is fucked up and incredibly irresponsible, obviously. Nobody should be arguing against that. She's not a good person but neither is really ANYONE else in this story except for a very small handful. I'm so tired of everyone pointing fingers at this one character and ignoring all of the people that tolerated and/or enabled her behavior knowing damn well what the consequences could be.

[sparrowlovesskittles]

Thunder review time I guess??

I'm gonna be real I don't have much to say about Sunbeam or Nightheart this is gonna be 90% rambling about Frostpaw

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Sunbeam

- I like her trials, especially the one about training the kittens hehehe.

- I like her bonding with Nightheart's family and learning to find a place in ThunderClan even when he isn't there!! I think it's a really important aspect of switching clans actually. The cats should be able to be comfortable and happy with their clan even without their mate by their side.

- She really gets some good girlboss moments in!!!!!!! You GO Sunbeam yell at Cherryfall!! Publicly shame Berryheart several times in a row!!!!!!!!

- God is it just me or does she have SO much chemistry with Myrtlebloom

Nightheart

- Him and Frostpaw bonding is quite sweet :)

- Love him nearly drowning in a covered pool and it sounding all scary and dramatic and then we switch to Frostpaw's perspective and she's just like 'that idiot nearly drowned in a tiny little pond the other day ugh 🙄🙄'

- Literally WHY did he just run away without telling anyone at all that's so funny and why does NO ONE even bat an eye LMAO?? Poor Sunbeam

-Idk man he's just kinda there

FROSTPAW

- GIRLIE!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POOR BABY!!!

- Shoutout to Frostpaw the first warrior cat to be canonically spayed!!!! That's so funny I love how Smokey is just like 'yeah that happens lmao' and her and Whistlepaw are just like 'huh. okay then'. Anyway from now on I'm drawing her with a nicked ear like they do to cats in TNR programs

- Speaking of Whistlepaw. THEY'RE SO SWEET! AND GAY!!!

- Girlie is a mess she's so traumatized literally just nearly got murdered and she fucking SNAPS at StarClan when they refuse to tell her shit. AS SHE SHOULD!! SHE DESERVES TO!!!! RIVERSTAR IS FUCKED UP FOR DOING THIS TO HER, ACTUALLY.

- OTTERS!!!!!!!! About time they got mentioned again, the last time was like literally TNP I think. It was implied otters lived at the lake but now Frostpaw confirms they don't anymore (but the elders definitely know about them). When are we getting the Minnowtail's Genocide novella where she plans the mission to drive the otters out of the lake and then marries Mousewhisker huh warrior cats??????

- Why was Frostpaw more traumatized by climbing a tree than she was by literally being chased by a dog. DGMW it's a good scene, I'm INCREDIBLY glad her PTSD was mentioned in the first place, but I feel like it's kinda weird for her to struggle with the tree when one day earlier she encountered a dog and just sort of... hissed at it a bit and then moved on.

- The park cats have canonically survived for longer than the clans and I am so sorry but that's BS. You're telling me no one in the past like 100 years killed these cats or TNRed them??? How many parks have they been through at this point??

- Frostpaw learning to meditate is so good though actually. Especially when she realises how fucked up the clan system is. If she doesn't fuck up Splashtail and then fuck up StarClan and fix the entire clan system in the next two books I'm gonna riot.

- I adore that she's FAR more distraught about Curlfeather being evil than she is about Splashtail. Like yeah! That's her mother!! That would fuck her up, Actually!! It's refreshing for a character to have familial relationships that are more important than their romantic ones.

- Frostpaw also feels like such a genuinely realistic victim. When she admits that she feels like it was her fault Splashtail was able to manipulate her because she was so naive? And then the park cats all cuddle her and tell her that it wasn't her fault and that HE'S the fucked up one? That scene actually made me cry a bit ngl.

- Hehe Frostpaw meditates now she's a true hippy stoner.

General

- WHY DID THEY PULL A RISING STORM ON US. FROSTPAW JUST STAND UP AND SHOUT AT EVERYONE. ITS NOT TOO LATE. ARGHGDHDHDJDHSJDJHS (I understand she's going through a lot and is very panicked but come ON)

- I like the more personal vibe of this book- the conflict is largely internal, with her realising in her own time that Splashtail was evil. It's not the big dramatic scene I was hoping for- but at the same time it's kind of... Nice? I think it's cool. And I'm sure there will be more drama left to come!

- My prediction for the next two books is that she gets rid of Splashtail and then spends the remainder of the arc yelling at StarClan and fixing the clans. Ideally then I think we should have a soft reboot and jump forward in time, the clans are all operating under new rules, none of the cats are the same, etc. But that's not terribly likely to happen.

- YEAH DOVEWING YOU YELL AT IVYPOOL!! Ivypool deserves it honestly. Dovewing took none of her shit and that's beautiful.

- SQUIRRELSTAR!!!! I wasn't initially too jazzed about this, and I still have my grievances, but I think this is the right time for her to become leader. Go girl give us conflict!! Give us drama!!!!!!!!

- Riverstar is a dick lol??????

[localcryptidinthewoods]

what songs do you associate with each of the Divine Warriors?

i have playlists for all of them but i’m only gonna use the ones that remind me of them the most (and a reason why)

also i do talk about cannibalism and some other gruesome + toxic stuff in this post so read at ur own discretion :3

Irene - Tongues & Teeth by The Crane Wives. Like I mentioned in my last post, Irene is fucked up, and she knows it. She knows the things she does are not okay and down right awful in some cases, she knows shes not a sweet girl like many thinks she is, and she dosent care. Shes a walking red flag telling you shes a red flag. I feel like everytime she meets someone that she gets intrested in (example, the divine warriors) she always comments how she will ruin them if they stay, warning them of who she really is but they never really lisent till it’s too late.

enki - Cassandra by Florence + The Machine. Enki is full of tragedy, thats not even a question. She exists in the cursed form that he is in order to pay for her mothers sins of cannabalism. Not only that but Enki has the ability of being able to look into the future aka being an oracle. No one believes Enki because they(the mass populace of where he lives) think of them as a monster born of evil. Enki has these haunting visions of the darkness in the world, the good, the bad, and no one belives them because of the fact they were cursed. The entire song is just so aaugh and reminds me on Enki so much.

shad - I, Carrion (Icarion) by Hozier. Shad in my rewrite has been becoming a very melancholic person. Someone who wants and longs but cannot give in to those feelings. Someone who is curious from a place of genuine intrest, unlike irenes often cruel curiosity. The song is a love song, its about finding someone who seems to change the world for you, in Shads case it being Irene and then the divine warriors, and wanting to lean on that feeling but knowing that you could also fall because of it, but willingly to balance both possibilities and taking the risk, which is when the start of Shads ‘downfall’ starts, with taking the risk for the sake of love.

esmund - Wait by the River by Lord Huron. from the start of the song, it talks about waiting for someone till you are dead and gone. Esmund is an incredibly loyal man, he lisents to orders and obeys them because of the love he has for the divine warriors. They are his family now. In my rewrite he gets asked to stay behind and protect some people, and he does, but the only person who comes back is Enki.

kul’zak - rule #14 - Fiddler’s Heart. Kul’Zak is, ofcourse, a nomad. He’s never really settled down anymore, not even after he first met irene. The two of them would travel from place to place, Kul’Zak playing his fiddle and instruments like the bard he was and irene joined in, singing with him or dancing to his music all while exploring the different sides of humanity and learning about people and what makes them tick. Kul’Zak is a bard and a flirt, the type of guy who would never willingly settle down with anyone because he would much rather continue to explore till the end of his days.

menphia - burn your village by kiki rockwell. menphia is, for lack of better word, a bad bitch. she is deadly, she is precise and she does not mess around. she is not your martyr, she is not the sacrifical lamb and she makes sure that is clear. menphia is a highly trained killer, and a ruthless one too. she fights for what she wants to fight for, and she’s just as much as a wild card as irene when it comes to trying to figure out her true intentions.

[princeshilo]

oooooooo im. im wavibg my fingers tell me about juno

ooooooo

ooohhhhhh noooooo… ive been hypnotized by your finger wibbling…. i guess i have to talk about hiiimmmm……

@ my fellow players in the d4 campaign DONT READ THIS. none of them actively use tumblr but jic

(LOTS of text under cut)

the first thing i always always always say about him is that he fucking SUCKS. hes the worst man alive i hope he dies im literally obsessed with him. juno infyris is a tiefling celestial warlock :3 his patron god is homebrew that i made myself! basically he grew up in the underdark (gracklstugh to be specific) doing odd jobs to make enough money to leave. since almost all of the underdark is under lolth, he genuinely just didnt. think gods were real. he was an atheist he just thought everyone else was in a cult on something LMFAO once he was old enough he started a little shop of his own selling fake magic items (most of which he stole). like spamton but not actually like spamton at all. now while setting up his window display for candlenights he ACCIDENTALLY SUMMONED A DEITY. shes like ohhh brave one you have summoned me….. your wish is my command… i shall aid you in your journeys…. and hes like Uh Um Uhhh Can You Help Me Out. (<- INCREDIBLY UNSPECIFIC THING TO SAY TO A LITERAL GOD.) she takes this and fuckinf runs with it hes now soulbound to this deity thats trying to make him a better person and have him do good deeds and stuff amd he HATES IT. as aforementioned he is the worst fucking guy alive hes greedy and selfish and an all around bastard who literally scams people for a living and now all of a sudden hes forced to be a good person or else god will kill him and its the funniest dynamic ive ever written. anyways he escapes his master and leaves the underdark and meets up with the party etc etc etc BUT i wanna talk more about his life before then. see the underdark is a really shitty fuckinf place to live for like 90% of the population and basically anyone that isnt a drow or duergar. SO. you can imagine his life kind of sucks. he is forever in servitude of at least one master at all times & is FOREVER trying to convince everyone he meets to let him live. he used to have wings, in fact! however when they grew in, his master used him for his wings & made him do a bunch of shady shit for him before cutting them off, not wanting juno to seem too valuable to others and have him stolen. juno currently doesn’t remember ever having wings & is convinced hes just naturally discoordinated and clumsy but in reality he’ll never fully acclimate to living without his wings. for all of the 18 years he lived in gracklstugh he spent every day trying to be good enough so that he wouldn’t be deemed useless and killed. his main tactic for this is flirting. see, he knows he’s fucking annoying, and he’s spent years trying to ‘fix it’, and he just can’t. so if he cant change his personality, he believes his only use is his looks. he’ll flash a charming smile and a kiss on the cheek to the vendor he’s currently robbing, distracting them so that he can steal just enough to get by. he’s fucking pretty, and he knows it, so he uses it to his advantage. he exists as an accessory, something to be used, and believes that’s the entirety of his worth. when he escapes the underdark by killing his master (with the help of angel, another pc in our campaign), he takes his left eye out. the scar changes everything. if he’s not pretty, not appealing enough, then he’s fucking useless. he finally got his chance to escape the underdark and now he’s going to be left to die as soon as he sees the sun for the first time. OBVIOUSLY THIS ISNT WHAT HAPPENS. throughout the campaign, one of the other pcs, rpck (no that’s not a typo his name is rpck) falls in love with him. this shit changes EVERYTHING his entire worldview begins to crumble as he learns he can finally be loved and. Yeaghf. im fucking normal about him. theres ALWAYS more i can say abt him but this is long enough already LMFAO thank u for letting me ramble jack :-)

[imnotoverlyobsessive]

In Your Dreams

Moodboard by the incredible @softhecreator

Info, Author’s Note, etc

AO3 info one two three four five six seven epilogue

All my work is 18+.

Special thanks to @darksideofthecocoamoon for letting me use Tim’s dick in her wonderful demon Tim au as inspo for my own fic. If anyone has not yet read that one, please do so with all haste because it’s fuckin incredible and you are genuinely missing out if you haven’t read it yet. Be sure to reblog, too, so others can enjoy it and she can get the recognition she deserves!

Onto the fic!

Summary

Lea knows that her best friend, Tim, is an Otherworlder. She isn't sure of what kind, but it doesn't really matter all that much in the grand scheme of things, anyway. No matter what manner of fae he is, she's damned and determined to not get involved with him or anyone else.

Except Tim isn't a fae like so many celebrities like him. He's an incubus, she's his mate, and oh yeah— he’ll die without her.

Author’s Note

I know things get rough, but I promise you, it'll have a happy ending. Tim goes through it, but everything will be okay in the end, trust me.

Be forewarned: this contains a great deal of angst relating to potential (and almost) death. No one actually dies, but it will probably make you cry. If you are not in a space for angst, proceed with caution.

Yes, yes, I'm back at it again. The fic is gonna end up being about 25-30k, I think. It is almost completely done. So! Bit about this one. Tim is an incubus, obviously. In this universe, everyone is aware of supernatural creatures. The fact that Tim is one is something of a poorly kept secret; it's obvious, but he doesn't really talk about it, so they don't have any confirmation. No one has any idea what he is; they assume fae, like so many celebrities are. How incubi work in the fic will be explained, of course.

This fic will have elements of fuck or die, mentions (but not descriptions) of domestic violence, and a May-December romance, which means, in this case, Tim is significantly older than Lea! He doesn't know exactly how old he is, and I'll tell people if they wanna know (I have an exact number, of course), but otherwise I'll leave it up to you guys to internet. He himself has a general idea but that’s it. This takes place in 2023, btw, which means Lea was born in 2003 this time around.

About This Universe

Incubi/Succubi

They are immortal and have been around since the beginning of time, basically. No one knows exactly how long. The oldest of them, the first few, are simply too old to remember how old they are, or how they came to be. My guess it’s simply an evolutionary thing; maybe they simply evolved from early homosapiens in a different way than humans did. It’s hard to say, and I haven’t decided on anything in particular. A rarer type of Otherworlder because of their unique reproduction methods.

Fae

They are very alluring. Many (if not most) popular celebrities are fae. No pointed ears; other than their charisma, beauty, and immortality, you can’t really tell who is one and who’s not. They are persuasive, proud, and can be dangerous. Probably the most common type of Otherworlder. Not super relevant to the fic.

Vampires and Werewolves

Pretty standard vampire lore; they don’t tend to be very popular, so most are not celebrities. You can tell who is one very easily. They are bloodthirsty and can be dangerous. Not super relevant to the fic.

Sirens

Mostly live near the ocean. If they’re famous, it’s usually for singing. They do have a mermaid form. Not immortal, just have a longer lifespan. Not super relevant to the fic.

Selkies

The same as sirens, for the most part, except they shift completely into a seal. Not super relevant to the fic.

Mates of Otherworlders

Otherworlders that were born into it have a destined mate. If they were turned (such as vampires or werewolves), they do not always have one, only sometimes. Their mates are always perfect for them, so a guy isn’t gonna get paired with a lesbian, and a gay guy would, of course, get paired with another guy. Aromantic Otherworlders have platonic mates. Asexual Otherworlders have romantic mates but don’t experience sexual attraction to them. Most mates have a symbol for fertility on their bodies; often from the culture that first discovered them. For example, the mates of incubi and succubi have an eight pointed star on their hip, which is a symbol of the Mesopotamian goddess of fertility and sex (and beauty, divine law, war, and political power; she’s similar to Aphrodite), Innana. Incubi and vampires are the only species of Otherworlder that die without their mate, because they both require them in order to feed, once they’ve met them.

Playlist

I'm including a playlist for this one, because there are so many songs I listened to for this fic and some of them literally made me cry, so. I'll let you decide which song is from whose POV, but yeah. Here are the songs in the order of what happens in the fic. And yes, I know this is mostly Halsey and the rest is me showing my age. Shut up, it's fine. Enjoy. Please note that the most important song for the fic as a whole is this one. I highly recommend reading the lyrics even if you don’t listen to the whole thing.

Tag list

@ellamaianderson @shika1200 @blackqueenstarseed1 @gatoenlaciudad @esmaada @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @softhecreator @timolaurence @timmymyluv @oddlyenoughiamweird @leecrunchybones @s-we-e-t-t-ea @almostg @vampire-reanimator @leespparker @bubblebuttwade @glizzymcguirex @starberry-cake

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

if we’ve covered some red flags, what are some of your green flag ships? like of those “fuck yesssssss” ones that you really enjoy

AYO SELF CARE HOURSSSSSS. i do genuinely like talking about the controversial ships but thank you for the positive vibes anon! love that

under the cut, just because the post is a little long:

actually im not super into shipping i think? i definitely value being able to imagine a dynamic for even the nichest pairings and have a lot of fun stretching or emphasizing certain parts of each characters' personalities to get them to work the best while opening up the potential for some development on each characters' side (thats exactly why im doing the ship bingo! its a ton of fun!), but theres very few things i actually like. Ship beyond surface level thoughts tbh. and recently the things i actually do ship have gotten increasingly niche. so enjoy this ramble that mostly pertains to specifically me and only me LMAO /lh

metadede ofc is the big one. not niche obviously. extremely beloved by me hiiiiiiiiii. they just have so much to work with in canon it makes so many varied interpretations which are a blast to see honestly. in general i love seeing how people portray their friendship too. an idiot whos smart to smart guy whos an idiot communication. enemies to friends to lovers..... their personalities bounce off of each other really well and the content the community makes is always a+. actually im going to take the opportunity to share my favorite mtdd fic ever. this is like pretty much peak metadede to me if anyone wants to know what i hope my personal interpretation will live up to [link!]

people might be able to tell ive been getting very into dametaberge. oh my god im so insane. no one look at me. dmk+jambacult found family Real. i have like three comics in my drafts for them. its mostly dametaberge thoughts rn but i like to think susie joins them later to make a poly ship. dmk and susie are a little tense at first but susie is, "like so over her knight phase," as she says, which dmk is extremely conflicted about whether to be offended or relieved at. and then they learn how to relax around each other and are always the two in the relationship to have awful destructive ideas, which flamberge vetos or approves of on a case by case basis. they get very happy and excited when flamberge approves of their awful plans

and of course my beloved gsa ships.............. theres falsgato which i am incredibly insane about thanks to my friend dragging me into it and now its a thing in my animeverse. enemies to friends to lovers I KEEP SAYING IM SO WEAK FOR THAT. dragato was a huge asshole to falspar for Various reasons regarding the nature of the gsa and perhaps dragatos own personal insecurity, but once they lost the war they got to bond since dragato like, realized how little the shit he antagonized falspar for actually mattered in the first place. and falspars a guy who really sees the best in people and ahahahghdjk its a whole thing its a whole thing i wont go into it rn LOL

theres also metarthur which is my very very beloved longtime rarepair. which i um. uh. ahahahah............. i get very slightly nervous talking about on main because a lot of people hc arthur as meta knights dad or parental figure but i shouldnt be nervous about hc differences really....... anyways theyre supposed to be like parallels of each other. people who are opposites thematically (arthur being leader of the gsa; mk being a former deeply infamous demon beast) who find themselves in similar positions in that they both kinda struggle with their sense of purpose vs their sense of self. meta knight sees his past struggles in arthur and so he finds himself drawn to him. he cant really Solve his situation, but (during their war-time relationship specifically) he hopes to offer some solace to him which functions as a form of catharsis to mk himself too. the two get to connect and understand each other in a unique way. i wont get too into this one right now either lol since the dynamic changes a lot depending on if its their during-war relationship or post-war relationship but theres the basics. i have a comic expanding on their general relationship in my drafts too but its at the bottom of my to-do list tbh. maybe someday though

im only into this one casually nowadays but morphogala... you really cant go wrong with "knight of death saves the greatest warrior in the galaxy from their torturous fate". something something the themes of wishing for the release of death being subverted into yes, death itself releasing you but in a way that actually Saves and rescues you instead. the hope and love in spite of all of the hopelessness AHHHHGH the themes of this one make me so weak. theres so much potential...... i really love this one on an aesthetic level too

you know i take my comment on "not super into shipping" back i think my multishipper ass has disillusioned myself into thinking being insane about like 4-5 ships isnt enough or isnt the norm. maybe i am insane about shipping......... oops

ships that make my thumbs up list in that i like them in concept but dont ship myself would be: marxolor; any of wave 3 x each other tbh. i have them as just besties in my hcs but paired up in any way is very fun; i kinda like shadow metadede but im really particular about the dynamic of that one; fransoos gets a very big thumbs up from me for themes and concept+enemies/rivals to lovers; metagala is. i dont super get it myself but the aesthetics alone are absolutely on-point enough to put this one in the thumbs up category. yayyyyyyy. im sure theres more that im missing but i think that covers any that arent too niche

[tf2yall]

merc driving headcanons? good, bad, crazy etc. drivers? :)))

Scout

Scout has a driver's license. He always knows where it is because he has to get it out every freaking time he wants to go to a bar. Scout pitches a big fit about it everytime lol. He's an adult goddammit!

Scout is a uh... questionable driver. To say it nicely.

Doesn't wear his seatbelt, constantly speeding, pretty much always a distracted driver. Has crashed his car... too many times...

His older brother taught him how to drive and honestly he was as hyperactive as Scout so you know. Not exactly much actual learning going on.

Scout doesn't do much driving. He doesn't own a car and no one's crazy enough to let him use theirs. He's fine with that. There's nowhere he really wants to go anyways. He can amuse himself just fine at base.

Soldier

Does Soldier have a driver's license? No. Is that going to stop him? Also no.

Everybody has come to an unspoken agreement never to let Soldier drive. Ever. Not after that incident with the golf cart

He's a fucking maniac on the road. Stop light??? What's that?? Turn signal???? Who???

Essentially treats driving as a more horizontal kind of rocket jumping. Does not seem to get that you're supposed to drive on the road...

Tuefort probably has a special insurance plan for 'Soldier ran into my living room with a truck' lol

Heavy

Didn't learn to drive until he left Russia, and he was already in his 30s by then.

An incredibly safe driver. Follows all of the traffic rules perfectly, properly uses his turn signals, always has his license close at hand. He's just genuinely good at driving.

...up until the point when you piss him off.

Heavy's patient, but when he loses it oh he fucking loses it.

Can and will drive into other cars. Doesn't care about the damage done to his own, Engie'll fix it. GET OUT OF HIS FUCKING WAY LITTLE PEOPLE, HEAVY HAS PLACES TO BE

Will return to base with the front end of his car completely totaled and just hand the keys to Engie and tell him to fix it. Engie's currently in the process of 'upgrading' the car so he doesn't have to fix it so often.

How is he doing this? Well, with Engineer logic of course. By adding more gun. And then a little more gun. Just to be safe.

Demo

One of the better drivers on the team

If he's sober, he's actually a really good driver. Behaving himself like a good boy :) Hasn't run anyone over unlike some of the mercs *cough Medic cough*

Doesn't do a lot of driving because he's smart enough not to drive drunk. And Demo's pretty much always drunk lol

Also won't drive outside of the UK. He's used to driving on the left side of the road, and he's a little concerned that he'll just default to that side without thinking and get himself in a car accident

Demo does road rage but not to the extent of some of the other mercs. He'll swear and curse at them bad enough to make a sailor blush but he's not gonna actually get out of the car and fist fight them in the street

Pyro

Can't drive? Maybe?? No one's ever seen them drive so?? But they also seem to just show up in random places so they have to be driving??? Right???

Pyro doesn't actually have a driver's license. They just never really wanted to learn.

Interestingly enough, they do have a pilot's license though...

Engie

Another one of the good drivers. Mostly. Like most of the other mercs, Engie road-rages. And he road-rages hard.

He won't yell or scream, but if you take too long at a light he will get out of his car and politely inquire why you're not moving, whilst also politely offering to rearrange your intestines for you

Tends to be the designated driver amongst the mercs because he's the least likely to get in a car crash or drive the car over someone on purpose

Engie owns an old, rusted, beaten-down truck. It runs just fine, it just looks like it's going to fall apart if you so much as look at it wrong.

Medic

Medic has a driver's license. Medic should not have a driver's license.

He's an angry little man and will not hesitate to run people over or ram into other cars

'Zhey where on zhe road, zhey knew the risk!'

'doc pls u killed twenty people'

Whistles or hums along to the radio when he drives.

Spy

An amazing driver! Excellent job, Spy, you're one of the most competent drivers on the team.

If you ignore the fact that he's mentally jotting down the license plates of anyone who annoys him.

His car is his baby and he doesn't trust any of the mercs to be in it, nevermind drive it.

He likes to just go for nice relaxing drives sometimes

Sniper

Genuinely a really good driver. He canonically uses his turn signal ffs

His mom taught him how to drive and he will make her proud by always following traffic rules

Doesn't exactly road rage in the traditional sense. He doesn't yell, but he does kinda sit there and seethe, mumbling insults under his breath.

Very stuck in his ways and will not replace his camper until it physically cannot move anymore

[yellobb]

15 Questions Tag Game!

Thank you so much to the wonderful, amazing, stunning @raenestee and @shrekgogurt for tagging me 🥰 I love oversharing and I love other people oversharing, so this was a lot of fun! I definitely wrote a fuck ton, so it's under a cut 😅

No pressure tagging: @onepintobean @frjsti @angelsfalling16 @skeedelvee @cutestkilla @moodandmist @petedavidsonscock @palimpsessed @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @gekkoinapeartree @confused-bi-queer @ivelovedhimthroughworse @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @martsonmars @chen-chen-chen-again-chen

1. Are you named after anyone?

My first (government) name is from my aunt on my dad's side and my middle name is from my great grandma :) The nickname Macey is something my grandma came up with, and it has certainly stuck! I dunno, my full name is gorgeous, but it's not really me, so Macey has always suited me just fine 😌

2. When was the last time you cried?

Relatively recently 😅 It was... last Saturday, I believe. One of my best friends got me the book Burn After Writing by Sharon Jones, which is essentially a journal that prompts you with different questions about your past, present, and future. I was stressed and anxious about my future and feeling generally shitty, so I cracked it open. I wrote for the prompt "You have 9 minutes to live and you have a pen and paper. You can get a message out to the people close to you, giving them the best that you have learned. Give them something to carry with them in their own lives. What do you have to pass on?" It was incredibly therapeutic, but I also cried a lot, since I wrote to my sister, mom, and grandma about the things I'd learned and what I wanted them to know. Idk, it was a great exercise in gratitude for the people I care about most in life while also making me think about the lessons life has taught me

3. Do you have kids?

Not yet! I hope to adopt or foster one day. I'm aroace and deathly afraid of pain, so having bio kids isn't in the cards for me, but I still want to help kids. I love working with them, so I hope one day I'll be in a place where I can take care of a few, whether temporary or permanent :)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Not at all lol. I only tend to around the people I've known for the longest, and even then I don't really like it. I just feel like I'm being mean when I'm being sarcastic, which isn't great. Not that sarcasm is mean in general, it just doesn't land when I do it, so I try to be as genuine as I can be. My brother got all the sarcasm genes lol

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I'd say the way they behave, probably. Like, are they talkative or quiet? What's their mood like? Stuff like that. I'm notoriously unobservant about physical characteristics (I'd have to think about it to tell you what my best friend of over a decade's eye color was whoops)

6. What’s your eye color?

Brown! Not super dark, but definitely not hazel.

7. Scary movie or happy endings?

I'd say happy endings. I do like some good sad endings, too, but only in controlled settings, like fanfic

8. Any special talents?

Not sure what counts as a special talent, but I can play the oboe and alto sax, so that's cool! I also pick up song lyrics really quickly, have gotten a perfect score on the jetpunk name all the countries of the world quiz, and can imitate the Disney font, but only to write "Disney" lmao (proof attached) (my sister thinks this one is a whole ass personality trait)

9. Where were you born?

The eastern coast of Virginia! I can't get too specific since I still live there when I'm not at school lol

10. What are your hobbies?

I'm a serial hobbyist. I think it's an ADHD thing, but I want to learn everything, but I almost never stick with the skills I learn. I'd say the ones that I have right now are art, reading fanfic (this counts!), video games, watching YouTube, and hiking

11. Do you have any pets?

I do!!!!!!!! My family has a dog (Piper) and a cat (Wishbone). I also count my grandparents' dogs (Nip and Tuck) and cat (Toby), since I used to spend half of every single week at their house (not exaggerating)

Piper and Wishbone are both sweetiepies 😭❤️ They both are very lovey-dovey, though Piper is a lot more hyperactive. Piper loves to play and terrorize the local wildlife, but she always comes and curls up with me to take naps in the bend of my legs. Wishbone is more hesitant about cuddles, though she's always down to play or receive pets. She's lied on my lap three (3!) times, and it melts my heart, since she makes muffins on my tummy first 😭❤️

Nip and Tuck are brothers, and they're old men in little puppy bodies. Nippie is very calm most of the time, just wanting to lie on laps and get pets, but he's also a manipulative little bugger. He likes to drop his treats when him and Tuckie get them, bark until Tuckie switches treats with him, then abandons his new treats to do it again. Or drop treats and stare at them until Tucker comes to pick them up, then bark like a madman when he does. Tucker is more of a sweetheart. He's a butterball, since he tends to eat some of Nipper's leftovers, but that's okay. He likes attacking my hair lol. Both of them are big face-lickers (Tuck is on the left and Nip is on the right)

Toby is a fat asshole lmao. He likes being around people he knows, but you can't come too close or he'll fight you. He bullies the puppies (he's way bigger than them) to the point where poor Nippie has anxiety!

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I tried a bunch when I was little, but dance and swimming have stuck around the longest. I did dance (ballet, tap, and jazz) from when I was a little 5yo (hehe I actually had a picture of me and my sister in our costumes on hand, so enjoy) until I graduated high school. I still enjoy jazz dance in particular a lot, but haven't really found an avenue to continue it casually yet

Swimming I've done since I was like 6, if I had to guess. We have a pond in my backyard, so my mom wanted to make sure my siblings and I knew how to swim just in case. I ended up doing summer league from 10-18 and being on the varsity team at my high school (not a high bar, I'm very slow lol). Whenever I want to get a workout in, I go swimming above anything else. It's just so nice to be in the water :) Also, my main stroke is backstroke since it's the best one no I will not be taking criticisms

13. How tall are you?

5'6"

14. Favorite subject at school?

In high school I was always a STEM gal (with an emphasis on the STE). Right now, I like my more creative ones, so human-computer interaction, cinema courses, or anything that involves creative computing :)

15. Dream job?

Something that I won't get burnt out on, that allows me to work later in the day in the day instead of early in the morning. I want to do something with virtual reality and/or video games, but in a position where I can do all the different things. Design the experience, make the art, make the script, and code the stuff. I just love the creative process of video games and the art you can make with it and am also obsessed with virtual reality as a medium :)

[everyone-with-a-para]

(5/5) alright! arc four! once all the alola stuff wraps up, cole+my guy are...still fired from aether, not that they'd want to be associated with aether now anyway. so it's time to develop a new research angle, and This time it's working with professor burnet to develop a way for them to safely traverse the ultra wormholes that nebby can create. and where does the first one drop them but hisui, over 100 years in the past! and initially they're just. out in the wilderness. and they're not stuck as long as they have nebby, so they could leave, but they want to explore a bit instead of just dipping out because they can't see any signs of civilization. so they do a little wandering+luckily, instead of getting Attacked by anything, they run into the pearl clan's favourite warden: ingo! this ingo is distinctly different from my other para of him; this one has been living in hisui for like. At least ten years. maybe closer to 15. and he only vaguely remembers his home+has basically resigned himself to the fact that he's never gonna see anything even remotely close to it again...until he runs into this little group of very-obviously-modern travellers+is like Oh My God. he pretty much assumes the lot of them are fallers right away+starts fussing immediately, trying to orient them+get them somewhere safe, while THEY'RE all looking at each other like "is it just me or is that a unovan railway uniform. where the hell are we?"

either way, things get cleared up+ingo is...somewhat disappointed to discover that they're not in the same situation as him, but also relieved because good lord nobody deserves that. and they tell him "well we're gonna stay here for a little for research because this place has got pokemon we've never even HEARD of, but when we go we could try+see if we can get you back home." initially ingo declines because he has Duties here, but he *does* accompany them when they go on research because he knows the land better+doesn't want this group of kids (read: roughly 17-25 year olds) dying in the wilderness. and it's during this, while watching everybody Be A Family from the distance, that it occurs to him "ohhh i see. I Miss Having A Family. Badly." and it's not just having a family, it's also having Anyone who really understands him. as much as he's settled into hisuian culture, he's still an outsider from another time. so when it comes time for everyone to pack up+leave for real, he decides (with a bit of regret) to abandon his post as a warden+come with. part of it is the temptation of being able to actually Go Home, but it's also because everybody else has genuinely grown on him+he doesn't want to lose anybody he feels close to again. Found Family Complete. for now at least.

...and THAT'S the story as it stands! this could go a few different directions; right now i'm playing omega ruby+depending on how much i end up thinking about it everybody could end up getting plunked in hoenn. there's also obviously if, how, and when an emmet/ingo reunion happens but nothing concrete has been worked out for that. i'm trying not to go "oh my god this is fucking long" for the 70 millionth time because you DID say you were interested so um. thank you for reading. i REALLY hope this all sends in proper order+tumblr doesn't eat any of these asks lmao but if it does i can resend any of them. again: literally had to draft this in a word doc. can you believe this is the Short version of all this. i swear to god this is meant to be more truncated. i'm not even going into the symbolism of everyone's pokemon teams or anything. did you know genesect is here? fucking genesect has been here the whole time

@ninesecretsteps

Ingo mention Ingo mention Ingo mention!!!! (Can you tell I love him?)

Oogh I put Ingo in Hisui for 5-7 years depending on how I feel but people who do 10+ make me incredibly sad

My Ingo has very similar complicated feelings about his Duties and life he's made in Hisui vs the want to go home when Akari convinces (threatens) Arceus to let them. He very almost decides not to leave. It also doesn't help that he has no memories other than a flash of Emmet's face and the vague knowledge of a fire type pokemon. He's afraid of what he'll find or what he won't find because he just doesn't know whereas Hisui is Known and Predictable (and he's autistic) but also also Hisui never felt like Home. He's always been an outsider no matter how much of the clan eventually accepted him

My Ingo and Emmet do get a reunion and I daydream it a lot

Genesect:🧍

Thank you for sharing!!! I enjoyed reading these immensely!!!

[beetlebrownleaf]

big vent. things I’m in a better place to talk about now that I’ve seen a therapist for a little while. mentions of BPD and emotional manipulation under cut.

I decided to say “fuck it” and come back to Twitter because I want to talk to my fucking friends there before it possibly implodes, and I’m scared because I feel like I’m constantly under a microscope everywhere ever since an ex friend pressured me to stay off of social media cold turkey (not possible for me anyways. nothing cold turkey works for me) because they considered me “mentally unsound” and basically tried to armchair diagnose me because I was being interpersonally shitty to them. 

And then they kicked me out of their space when I didn’t comply to said socmed break that they imposed upon me “for my own good”. Yes I was being an asshole, genuinely, but it felt so controlling and weird. As I look back I think they’re just a controlling person. Was I an asshole? Yes. Were they still weirdly controlling in a gross, patronizing way? Also yes. Both can be true.

My first red flag should have been when they asked me how I get my kids to eat more vegetables. I assumed they were babysitting. No. They just invasively thought their roommate wasn’t eating healthy enough I told them that was ultimately not their problem nor their business. 

I was an asshole for getting up their ass about a comment they made that I simply disagreed with, I should have just left it alone because it wasn’t worth it. Yes. I was an asshole for that.

But if you hear rumors I’m a secret closeted bigot and I supposedly think those seeking education and employment is “mindless drone behavior”, hi that was me in my private vent twitter, aka my “this is where my bad brain thoughts that do not necessarily represent my beliefs and feelings”, saying, in a moment of deep mental upset, that I felt like being queer, becoming socially aware, choosing my own lifestyle, and making other queer friends, brought me pain and sometimes I wish I’d have married that lawyer I didn’t love and gone to a school I didn’t want to go to and gotten that job I didn’t want to have to please my parents because it would have “easier”. 

Having times where you wish you were not queer and blissfully socially unaware is an incredibly common Bad Brain Thought for queer people. I am not a fucking bigot for that*. I don’t fucking think education and employment are “mindless drone behavior”. I was wishing, in a moment of mental upset, that I was a mindless drone, aka, someone who just did what their parents told them to do with their lives. When I explained this I was met with a resounding “I don’t believe you, it’s clear you’re still a deeply bigoted religious person and not the liberated woman you claimed to be” as if it’s my fault I failed to live up to expectations I absolutely never gave any impression of. I did escape a more “worldly” form of Evangelicalism. I did not stop being religious. Being queer and being religious are not mutually exclusive.

Anyone who has known me since my fucking beginning here on FFXIV, on Tumblr, even on Twitter, knows that’s bullshit, and from here on out I’m deciding that anyone who believes that is willfully choosing to believe that to make me more of an asshole than I actually am and I want nothing to do with them. 

Basically when I was mad at a comment I perceived as rude (which was, by the way, a comment telling me me and my family’s hypothetical desire for land to farm and garden on -  possibly elsewhere in the South, where I inescapably live unless I move several states away, which is financially unfeasible and separates us from family) - was selfish, unnecessary, and placing my children in direct social and physical harm, so, actually I still think it was fucking rude), I was mentally unsound for being mad at that. And maybe so, I really was an asshole for getting all twisted about it and coming after people for it and I should not have done that, and I know the anger and discomfort I had about it did make me too mentally unsound to speak with them at the time. Fine. I’ll take that L.

But when I make a tweet on my bad brain account that yeah, isn’t worded excellently because it’s where I go to privately vent when I’m upset, aka Mentally Unsound, it’s suddenly an indication of my deep-seated true Closeted Bigot Feelings? Yeah. Okay. Just say I’m an asshole and go tell me to fuck myself like a decent person.

My therapist is pretty sure it is possible that I have BPD after I mentioned it to them. I am financially unable to see her now (my husband’s job changed insurance and we’re not covered anymore, and I can’t afford $100 a week or even every two weeks, so yay), so I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m glad to know I at least have a path moving forward. 

She thinks this is why I kept folding to this friend and going “okay okay I’ll do what you say, you’re right, I was so wrong and thank you so much for your input, otherwise I wouldn’t have seen that I was making a bad decision”. And I am sickened that I did fold because they said “well I’m glad I was able to save your children, at least, I would go through this again and again to save your precious children” fuck off. I can’t believe I let them say that to me.

I can’t do that anymore. I can’t just fold to people because I’m afraid of rejection. I can’t allow myself to be manipulated like that anymore or anyone could harm and take advantage of me, and that really could impact my children’s lives negatively.

I am not going to bend to manipulation anymore, and I am going to allow “I was a shitty person to someone” (because I was! even my therapist said it was a harmful and unhealthy thing to do on my part) and “but this someone was also shitty to me and I am allowed to be hurt by it, and they are wrong about who I am” to coexist.

I’m still scared to exist online because I feel like I’m under a microscope and anything will be used against me, and rightfully so. But I’m not going to disappear to appease anyone. I am not going to adhere to some forced promise that I’ll stay off socmed and stop having fun with my friends.

*addendum: I am not a bigot but I am white and squarely middle class and I understand that may mean I still have things to unlearn as far as racism and classism, and many other forms of bigotry, I would imagine. I am not perfect. But I am not a bigot.

[sillylittlevulpine]

Human Delta and Phobia headcanons- cause I'm so obsessed with these two it's ridiculous.

-Phobia likes to poorly decorate. Just to get a rise out of Delta. He will go shop at those little 'mom' decoration stores with the corny and cliché little quotes. He hangs it on the front door, so it's the first thing Delta sees when he gets home. Delta's deadpan expression when he sees 'Live Laugh Love' hanging on their front door is all the entertainment Phobia needed that entire week. Delta, of course, trashed it and hung an interesting wreath of some sort.

-Phobia has quite literally pocketed and hid Delta's favorite line art pen too many times to count to make Delta take a break. He'll help him look all over the house while feigning innocence. And when Delta is turned around, he sets it on the coffee table next to his sketchbook. Delta has yet to catch on to this. And Phobia lives for it.

-Delta loves horror and suspense, and don't get me wrong, so does Phobia, but he spends way more time watching Delta than the movie. He waits for Delta to tense up in anticipation for a jump scare and grabs his shoulders and freaks him the fuck out.

-Delta is super affectionate and will often go buy little trinkets and knick knacks for Phobia. Or a new set of earrings. But Phobia's favorite thing Delta gave him was a simple customized pocket watch with some engravings on the silver face cover.

-Phobia is very overly physically affectionate and Delta is typically very touch averse. Delta will not hug anyone else unless he really has to, except Phobia. Delta clings to Phobia. He walks so close their sides are always brushing, he sits and snuggles up or even sit on Phobia's lap. He often will sit against Phobia and use him as back support while he draws in his sketchbook. Delta rarely initiates hugs, but Phobia does, and Delta melts every time without fail.

-Delta is incredibly easily flustered. And Phobia knows it all too well. He makes all sorts of little flirtatious remarks and watches Delta freeze. They both laugh about it.

-Delta's affection is much more sentimental than it is playful. He goes into great depth when telling Phobia exactly what he loves about him. And he's completely genuine. Phobia is not easily flustered, but Delta's complete and utter attention to detail to every fine line about Phobia has made him blush more than once.

-They both enjoy singing and music. Phobia leans a lot more into rock and metal most the time. And Delta listens to every genre. One of Phobia's all time favorite artists is Måneskin. Delta shares that with him, but he also really enjoys a lot of folk music.

-Phobia's musical talent is all vocal and Delta couldn't sing to save his life. But Delta loves to play instruments. He can play Violin, but he enjoys simple instruments like the Kalimba a lot. He likes to sit outside and play for Phobia a lot.

-Delta's an artist, both visually and in literature. Phobia can draw pretty decent, but he's far more heavy into writing. Phobia reads a lot, too. Delta reads, but not books typically.

-Delta reads a ton of fanfiction. Specifically, the reader insert romance variety. Phobia thinks it's hilarious and cute. Often times attempting to snatch the phone from Delta's hands and sneak a little peek at his tastes. On more than one occasion, he's successfully taken the phone, and started reading it outloud while Delta attempts to take the phone back by force with a mad blush. Phobia laughs his ass off everytime.

-Delta has loads of anxiety, and sensory issues. On bad days when he's curled up in bed in emotional agony, Phobia makes him tea, and climbs in bed next to him, and pulls him close and holds him till he's better. He will talk Delta down gently most the time. But if he can tell it's more sensory issues, he remains silent holds Delta really tightly to his chest. Delta finds this beyond helpful and comforting.

-Phobia is also overly anxious, but it comes out in frustration and anger. Delta sees this, and will place a gentle hand on his shoulder, or grab his hand softly. And it reminds Phobia to take a deep breath, get something to eat and drink, and take a break.

[blocksruinedme]

Okay so this is what I decided not to post on an ask about Jimmy's namemc skin spoiler

but then left some of the text there!!!!! Incredibly embarassing! so now that i've accidentally put part of this out... here you go.

Scar loves Buff Scar, right? We all love Buff Scar. But I get emotional about the buff scar skin, for bummer reasons??? I would up talking about Buff Scar on the ask post and it turned into me finally writing out thoughts I've been having about myself and my health and... what I feel when I think about Scar? I say I "have health issues" and I have no looked up any definitions of "disabled" and idk that I do... physically it's mostly chronic pain and bad GI stuff (seeing a new specialist next week!)

But this personal and it's kinda heavy and I wasn't sure if I was going to post this, and it's... talking about another person's health while talking about my own, so I'm going to put this behind a cut. I don't want this thrown in anyone's face, and I think it's the most vulnerable thing I've posted on this account. And the first time I've ever turned off reblog.

I often get weirdly emotional about buff Scar, cause that image? That is something he must have have and lost. From hearing about his swimming career as a kid/teen, fuck. My dude would have been BUFF in the chest and arms and also shirtless a ton.

He was only 16 when he first got sick, I had thought it was 18 for some reason. It's nothing compared to Scar's situation, but I have a lot of health issues and... I don't think I project, I emphasize but it's more, idk that it's representation but maybe a little, honestly I don't know what it is, but I expected hearing him talk about his stuff hits different for me than most people who are fully able bodied. It just does stuff to me.

I watched part 2 of his imp & skizz podcast recently, and it's the most I've ever heard Scar talk about himself. People can get really weird when talking/thinking about other people's health, and I don't want to be doing that, but it was very emotional to listen to him talk about his dreams and plans that his health got in the way of. It's not like I'm in a wheelchair, but there's a really major thing in my life I can't do because of my health and I'm grieving it still. It's only been two years, and I'm doing my fucking best to not dwell and live the life I can have instead, but fuck. It's genuinely a really big deal (that I am not at all ready to talk about outside close friends.)

mood shift! i wrote this out of order and i'll cry if i keep dwelling on it.

A friend told a little anecdote about people (lovingly) commenting on Scar's choices about health and his creative work, and I did not react as they expected. I go (internally) ballistic when people say that kind of thing to me, like how I shouldn't write if I have a bad pain day?? Do not tell me how to manage my pain! This is my life and my body and you can never understand it, I barely can. I do not want to be infantilized, ever, but especially when it comes to managing the parts of my life that suck the most. Sometimes we take risks with our health because we decide it's worth it, because you have to have joy in life, not just life. Every time I get in the car I'm risking my life, y'know? If writing gets me through pain, that's what it does! And that's not even risky. (I spent 6 hours in the ER working on "whatcha gonna do?" because i was going to go insane sitting there waiting to find out if I had a stroke (i didn't)).

So we people with ill health have to figure out how to balance things. There's no "I'll wait till I'm healthy to do that", it's not like we're got a stomach virus. Everything is a compromise. If someone wants to finish uploading a video before they go to the hospital, maybe it's because of an skewed life/work balance, or maybe they're putting their self worth in places-some-people-would-call-wrong, or maybe they just don't want to worry about the fucking video and get the joy of "i've just put up a thing" while going off into a shit situation. I don't know! You don't know! "Put your health first" is pretty complicated, actually, when your health is *never* going to be "good" and there's too many options and you can't know what might work. People will sometimes hear something that's going on and say "are you going to go to the doctor?" and it's like... I can't go to my pcp everytime something like this happens cause then I'll be in all the damn time. It's not worth it. I am getting some kind of medical care every week.

When I went to the ER... so I had a really weird episode that might have been a migraine but the symptoms didn't quite match up with the general list and were concerning. All the symptoms went away after I laid down. I eventually got convinced to go to the ER to get checked out - and then, do I run out the fucking door in my workout clothes? Do I pack up stuff I want to have? Do I do that but also take ten minutes to eat something? What's the right choice? In the end everything was fine, but I'm always happy to get some clean imaging to have in my file. (in this case, brain mri and brain ct scan, w/ & w/o contact. the mri tech said i should get a frequent customer punch card when i said it was my 5th time in that mri. lost my shit. it's been <1/year but still.)

Scar talked about how early on they were chasing the cure and then you get to the point where... doesn't look like there's going to be a cure, this is fucking forever, and it fucking sucks. A friend just got that yesterday with a chronic fatigue syndrome diagnosis, and... now they know this is it. I'm still chasing a cure, or a way to keep things in remission, with my god damn gut biome. My current GI MD said "this is all i can do" and for some reason I let that stay? I never would have let a friend just give up - but I wasn't thinking of it that way. It is SO HARD to go and advocate for more medical care when you have so many things going on.

To be super clear i 100% think of myself as "barely in chronic pain" and "not really chronically ill" and "definitely not disabled".

Anything can become normal. For good, for ill, for weird.

Anything can become normal.