#It's mostly because she's the only person in story besides her girlfriend who had no actuak problems confessing?

[yooglefics]

hii! its been a few days since i found u and i love ur writing and stories!! could i request a fic where yoongi and (possibly) female reader have a fight over jealousy (its either her or him or both even idk) and its a little angsty idk but then they make up and its all fluffy 🤓🤓 thank u in advance luv

Hellooo. Thank you so much for your kind words and for requesting this! I really enjoyed writing this pair and some angst, I did a hint of both being jealousy, but is mostly him haha. Sorry it took me a while to finally post it, but I wanted it to be good, and I hope you like it!

Jealous, jealousy

Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader  Wordcount: 2,467 words Genre: AU. Established relationship. Angst and comfort / fluff.  Summary: Jealousy has never been a problem in your relationship, not until a comment can't leave Yoongi's mind and interactions at your office’s party just make it worse. Content warnings under read more.

Includes: Jealous Yoongi. People thinking there's something between Jin and Reader… even Yoongi. Miscommunication. They argue. And then they're cute.

It all starts with the perilla leave question between Yoongi's friends one night out and a few rounds of soju in. As a self-identified non-jealous person, his answer was that it didn't mean anything, and even told the story about how it happened a few days ago when your coworker joined you two for lunch.

Jungkook, the non-identified most jealous person of the group, had obviously called him stupid. Questioned him about that guy and told him to be careful. “If I were you, Yoongi, I'd keep my eye on him.”

Little rascal; didn't even bother to use honorifics with him anymore.

But the worst thing is that the idea is now on his head and not even Yoongi knows how bad it is about to get as he steps into your office party a few weeks later. Now having the opportunity to see his girlfriend and her favorite coworker interact more in a familiar environment.

Even the ones who don't know Yoongi a lot, know he can be pretty reserved around new people, that's why you continue to make your polite round of interactions after saying hi and leaving him at a table with a whiskey and snacks. Promising to come back as soon as possible.

He looks at you across the room, all professional and sweet, the queen of small talk and polite smiles, and one forms on his own lips without realizing. Only doing so when it's erased as someone greets him, sitting down beside him and he tries to follow your steps at looking, at least, a bit cordial. 

“I don't think I've seen you before. Are you here with ( y / n ) or Seokjin?”

“Yes, with ( y / n ).”

“Really?” She sounds genuinely surprised, “I didn't know she was inviting someone.” 

“Well, I like supporting her, don't really need the invitation” he chuckles a bit awkwardly, “I'm her boyfriend.”

“Oh, so she is dating someone?” Again, the surprise in her tone makes Yoongi believe is a true emotion, and that confuses him.

“For a few years now, yes.”

“And here I was thinking that those two were going to be the next office romance,” she says sounding disappointed before realizing, “oh my— not that it's bad they don't, just… they are both attractive and you know…”

«Is that supposed to make it better?», he wants to ask, but instead he laughs, trying to dismiss everything as her hand lays on his forearm that is resting on the table, trying to reassure him as she goes on about him being handsome too and whatnot.

He stopped listening now. Because after that interaction, one hour seems long enough when half of that you have spent besides that guy, and Jungkook's words keep growing in his head as if he were watering them with the sweet alcohol. The one he has to switch hands to sip from now, because your coworker keeps the other prisoner of her hand. 

Not even the excuse ( that is actually not really an excuse because he needs it ) to get a refill works and she only stops rambling his ear off when someone arrives at the place and she finally leaves the table to greet them.

“I saw you made a friend,” your sweet smile is almost enough to make him forget his thoughts when he is joined by you at the bar while ordering another whiskey.

“Well, figure I should while you had fun with yours.” he shrugs in an effort to dismiss negative feelings.

“Wait, did you actually make friends with her?” is your turn to sound surprised, corners of your mouth falling a little.

“Is a problem if I did?”

“I… I mean, I was joking but I don't like her very much. You can make friends with other people, though.”

“Ah, thanks for the clear up.” He walks back to the table to sit down, and even he can acknowledge it was a weird response, so, your next question doesn’t shock him.

“Are you okay?”

“What if I made friends with your best friend, what's his name?” he asks instead. Comments from others blurring his psyche, making him act without much thinking.

“Jin?”

“Is that his name? She called him Seokjin”

“Well, Seokjin, Jin for short. What's the big deal?”

“Nothing. Just… that's what she said when she asked who I was here with,” he explains before taking a sip.

“Of course she asked you that,” and eye roll accompanies your words. 

“Yeah, because apparently you didn't say you invited your boyfriend.” but he thinks there is more important matters than you not liking your coworker. “As a matter of fact she didn't know you had a boyfriend.”

“Because is none of her business. She doesn't need to know about my relationship.”

“She does when she is talking about you and Seokjin having a romance.”

“What?!”

“Sorry. You and Jin.”

“Shut up, you know that's not what I meant. Can't believe she said that.” You steal a sip from his whiskey before continuing, “No actually, I can.”

He buffs. “You can?”

“Yeah, I told you, she is… not likable.”

“Just that? Not because it would be believable for you two to be together?” He asks, his annoyance clearer as seconds go by.

“Jin and I? Please, that's ridiculous.”

“Okay.”

“Why? Are you jealous?” You inquire, playfully. As if it would be impossible to be true.

“Yes.”

“Wait. Really?! But you have never been jealous.”

“Maybe I am now.” 

“Because of Jin?” you’re confused at how serious he is being, but before you can question more about it, you’re interrupted by said guy.

“Oh, I was summoned. Hi.” he greets your partner, so casually since he doesn’t realize Yoongi is mad with him too. “Can you come back? I don't want to interact with those people alone.”

You look at your co-worker and friend for a few seconds, and then to your boyfriend, trying to understand what is happening and if he is actually jealous. Him, Min Yoongi, the less jealous person you’ve ever met.

“Go, have fun.” Your boyfriend encourages you, managing a smile that only confuses you more because is clear to you that it’s not genuine.

What the hell is happening?

You’re surrounded with interactions the rest of the night, from your co-workers to their partners, people seem interested in Jin and you, after all, it’s the first big party since the both of you joined the company. Even when you go back to sit with Yoongi people get close to make conversation, one person actually asks about wedding planing and tells you she can get you in contact with someone. You know she means well so, with your best smile, you thank her and change the subject.

You hate those conversations. 

Having spent your childhood between your parents’ fights because «staying together for their kids» was a priority, when in reality it only made it worse for everyone involved, you grew up hating the idea of getting married. You understand it is for love, but you don't need a paper or a big party to announce that you love Yoongi. You don't need a ring on your finger to promise you'll do it forever. You don't need him to propose, let alone ask your parents permission to do so. 

Is your life, your decisions. The only opinion that matters other than yours is Yoongi's and he has always understood, never pressured you. He is the love of your life, after all.

In the car on the way home, the silence is filled with music from the stereo and you try to take Yoongi’s hand on the gear lever as always, but only a couple of seconds pass before he pulls away, both hands on the wheel now. 

Trying to figure out if it was on purpose, you ask, “What are you thinking about?” 

“You spend a lot of time with him,” he says without a beat.

“You told me to go.”

“I mean in general.”

“We work together, can't really do much about that.”

“You weren't working tonight and still it was like you were joined at the hip.” he hasn’t looked at you and you can’t decide if it hurts or bothers you more.

“Again, you told me to go at the end,” you argue. “ If you wanted me to stay with you, you could have said so.”

“Now I have to ask you to spend time with me?”

“Well, I can’t read your mind, honey.” you poke his cheek, softly. An attempt to lighten the mood a little.

“That’s not the point.” His tone is just as serious. And then you know that, whatever this is, it’s deeper than you thought.

“What is it then?” you genuinely ask, annoyance starting to build up inside you, but trying to stay calm. Surely he can tell, you think. “You’re clearly upset, but why?”

“Shouldn't I be? When my girlfriend keeps hanging out with this good-looking dude and everyone thinks they could be a thing?” 

“Really?” How can he even entertain those thoughts? You with another man? Doesn’t he hear how ridiculous it sounds? “Shouldn't I be upset because you let her touch your arm for like five minutes straight?”

“She was trying to console me.”

“Yeah, that actually makes it worse, Yoongi.” 

“Yoongi?” 

“That's your name.” He finally looks your way, but you’re looking at the road ahead of you and he can’t tell it is just in order to calm down.

“Wait. Why are you turning things on me?”

“Because you're being irrational and I'm not having this conversation.”

Once again the music is the only sound filling the air, and you opt for folding your arms in front of your chest to stop you from reaching for his hand again.

Now both of you are mad. Great. 

Arriving home, he still gets out of the car first to open the door for you, and it helps soften the heartache a little. But still, the night repeats in your head, trying to understand what happened. 

Why suddenly spending time with Jin is a problem? Why is Yoongi so jealous about it? And why—

“You let her touch you after she said Jin and I had a thing?” you ask as both of you are finally in the bedroom, getting ready to end the night. 

“Thought we weren't having this conversation.”

“No. This one is different. This one is about you potentially doing things because you were upset with me.”

“That would be stupid.” He stops his movements, shirt unbuttoned just halfway through. “Why would I do that?”

“I don't know, you aren't exactly acting like yourself tonight.”

“Because I'm jealous?”

“Because we are fighting about you being jealous.” And trying to calm down once again, you continue taking your dress off, struggling with the zipper but too proud to ask him for help right now.

“Okay, let's not fight, then.” He sits down on his side of the bed. “Just answer this question: do you like him?” 

“Yoongi—” 

“Just answer. Please.” when you finally turn to him, the look on his face is different from what you expected. He doesn't seem angry, but hurt. Like your answer could break him.

“Of course not. Not like that.” You emphasize. Giving up on your clothes and kneeling in front of him, taking a breath before continuing. “You know we started at the same time and he is always nice and fun, I think he is my only friend at work because everyone else keeps asking me when I'm going to get married and leave. Like your friend.”

“What?”

“The lady you were talking to. Is always asking personal questions and I don't like it. Not because I don't like talking about you, I love you and I talk with Jin about you all the time, but is just…”

“Not her business. And you don't have to explain yourself to others.” he completes. Yoongi is the first to always remind you that after all.

“Exactly.” 

“Sorry.” he is quick to say, feeling like an asshole now, a hand running through his hair, messing it up, “I really don’t know what is up with me tonight, I’m sorry.”

“Were you actually jealous of Jin?” the disbelief in your voice is funny now, and he nods with a chuckle. “That’s surprising coming from you.”

“I know. Is dumb.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” you move closer to him, hands on his shoulders to make him look at you, “your feelings are not dumb, Yoongi.”

“Can you stop calling me by my name tonight?”

“Sorry,” both of you laugh softly, “but I mean it. Even if it’s irrational to be jealous of anyone because I love you so very much and wouldn’t even dream to be with someone else; your feelings are important, honey. Just… you know, we have to work on a better way of expressing them.”

He chuckles again, still feeling bad about it all but appreciating the reassurance. “I will, promise. I just never felt like this before, is… weird.”

Yoongi has always thought jealousy is stupid. He understands feeling insecure and all that, but acting like he did tonight has always been something he didn’t understand. Something he judged. He thought it was about bad communication, distrusting your partner, and things like that. And, if you don’t trust the person you love, does it make sense to be together? But maybe is not as simple as that.

He didn't care if you had your own friends and went out with them, like some of the people he knows do. He has his own opinion on marriage and engagement rings. But maybe he cares in other ways. Maybe he cares about people thinking you're with someone else because that's probably his biggest fear.

“I don’t like jealousy.” he speaks again, bringing his arms around your waist, hugging you close and resting his head against your torso.

“Good, that means you are not toxic.” A pause while your hand combs through his hair, putting black strains back in place, “and now you know how I feel when people hit on you.”

“People don’t do that.” 

“They do,” he looks up at you, but before he can argue anything, you cup his face and bend a little to peck his lips, softly. “I’m sorry for leaving you alone with her and without a warning.”

“I tried to get away but she wouldn't let go of my arm and I didn't want to be rude.” 

His bottom lip sticks out in a small pout and you kiss it away, “Yoonie, sometimes you’re too nice for your own good.”

“Maybe I should be just nice to you.”

“You're too nice for that,” he rolls his eyes, making you laugh even more, “that's why I love you.”

“I love you more, baby.”

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[shadeysprings]

So Good. So Bad.

—Stalker!Ex-Boyfriend!Lloyd Hansen x F!Reader

Summary — The Halloween party you and your friends attend turns upside down all because of your jealous ex.

Warnings — noncon/dubcon, toxic relationship, mass murd3r, k!lling spree, somewhat public sex, cuckolding of some sort, almost drugging, Lloyd being toxic and psychotic. There may be more I haven't mentioned but please read with caution.

Word Count — 7.2K

A/N — I know I said Sunday but my muse said no. Story #2 for my FREAKtober Fest and my second time exploring Lloyd as a character. The writing process was tedious yet exciting. The title and inspiration of this fic was taken from the song ILYSB.

Gif by the amazing @steve-kemp

As always, your feedback is highly appreciated and your reblogs would be amazing. And of course, I hope y'all enjoy! ❤️

Aside from having the same shift as your best friends, restocking is the only thing you like about your work. Although it’s physical, it’s mostly mindless tasks done repeatedly, and the black shirt you wear acts like a shield from annoying customers who pester the ones in blue.

Your shift starts like clockwork; time in, grab the products from the warehouse, and begin stocking the shelves until you have to clock out. Though today was a bit more taxing than you expected with the cable aisle once more in disarray and you being tasked to reorganize and set everything in its proper place. You don’t understand the need to put in so much effort into something that will just end up messy at the end of the day.

But you do it anyway. 

Upon arriving at the aisle, you begin sorting out the boxes and dismantling the hooks from the shelves. You’re happy enough to be doing this alone—the quicker you work, the faster you’ll be able to relax and waste the time away. That is, until Kate stands beside you, seemingly tensed as she starts helping you. 

“He’s here again. TV aisle.” You don’t need for her to say anything more to know who she’s referring to and it just makes you sigh as you grab a box of an HDMI cable and hang it on the hook. “Jensen’s trying to help him but he’s being pushy about talking to you. How does he always know when you’re here? Didn’t you already change shifts?” She asks.

How you wish you knew the answer to that. “I did.” You say in exasperation. “Did he say I was on break?”

“You know we can’t lie. Besides, we have no idea if he already saw you before he came in. He could have seen you while you were on your smoke break.” She expounds and you feel a sudden wave of exhaustion wash over you. “Just—talk to him. Tell him to leave. If he tries anything, we’ll call the cops.”

“Yeah. Like they’ll do anything about it. Vince wouldn’t even allow that—bad publicity and all.” The sigh that once more leaves your lips is despondent. You don’t know what else you can do to make him leave you alone. “Fine. I’ll deal with him.” The box in your hand ends up being crumpled from annoyance.

“We’ll be keeping watch.” She says, a measly attempt to comfort you. But you take it anyway with a smile and push away from your cart to hopefully turn away the pesky client.

It’s been almost two years since you broke up with Lloyd. The sweet air that he once had turned bitter when you saw just how jealous of a person he was. You thought it was cute at first, comforting him after a fit and telling him that he was the only man in your life—until it wasn’t and he threatened your friend, John, even challenging him to a fight at the back of the club when he placed his arm on your shoulder as he introduced you to his girlfriend. 

Since then, he changed and the relationship you thought was almost perfect, snowballed into endless fights and the revelation of the toxicity he kept hidden. You thought you could make him realize that there was truly nothing to worry about, that his jealousy was misplaced. But you were very wrong, especially after he demanded you quit your job and move in with him instead. You’d make a really good housewife, was what he said and you knew you had to draw the line.  

It wasn’t the life you wanted. And it pained you to leave because you did love him but with the way he acted, you questioned if he truly felt the same for you for even the simplest of things, he failed to trust you. And ever since, he hasn’t stopped following you. Everywhere you went, at work or home, he was there, simply watching, observing and you’ve done all you can to push him away. But no matter how hard you try, he can’t take the word no.

The first thing you notice when you see him is the twitch of his mustache when he smirks. He looks pristine as ever with his yellow polo shirt and white slacks that match his black loafers—a complete mismatch to your black shirt, jeans and sneakers uniform. And it has you thinking, what the hell did he see in you?

“The new models just came in yesterday,” You hear Jensen tell him but it’s obvious that Lloyd is not listening, certain that he’s staring at you even with his blue eyes covered by sunglasses. “I can show them—”

“Ah, just the girl I was looking for.” He says, cutting off Jensen and stepping past him to head over to you. 

“Sir, she’s one of our warehouse staff. I’d be happy to assist you in—”

“Beat it, nerd!” Lloyd snaps as he stops to face Jensen, rolling your eyes at his misplaced annoyance. “She’s the one I want to talk to.”

“It’s okay, Jen. I got this.” You tell your co-worker, gesturing for him to leave.

“You sure? I can stay if you need any he—”

“Are you fucking deaf?! She said she’s got it, loser!” Lloyd turns from where he stands and you’re suddenly alarmed to see him charge over at Jensen. “Beat it or I’ll make you.” He threatens and you immediately wedge yourself between both men when you see Jensen isn’t backing down.

You place your hands against Lloyd’s chest, stopping him from getting any closer. “Lloyd, stop it! Not here—Christ!” Your voice raises an octave when you scold him, facing Jensen right after and unintentionally glaring at him. “Just go, Jake! I said I got this!” It surprises you that you sound quite like Lloyd but it doesn’t deter you from pushing Lloyd back further.

You hear Jensen speak but don’t understand him as you grab Lloyd by the hand and pull him over to the other aisle, heat rising up your neck when you notice several of the shoppers looking in your direction. There’s never any peace with Lloyd—everywhere he goes, chaos follows.

Once you’ve pulled him away from prying eyes, you startle when he stops walking and tugs on your hand, his arm immediately wrapping around your waist as he holds you close. He gives you a sickeningly sweet grin, effectively trapping your hand against his chest.

“What the fuck do you want, Lloyd? Why are you here?” You bite.

“I’m looking for a TV.” He says smoothly, “Besides, I missed my little Kitten and I know that kitty of yours misses me too.”

You want to roll your eyes at his crass comment. “You know I work in the damn warehouse. I know nothing about them.” You reason, grunting as you try to get away from his hold. “We have a sales specialist who can help you with that.”

“Oh, but I want you to show me the options.” The hair on his lip twitches when he smirks, “Or I can complain to your manager that his employees aren’t helpful to their customers.”

“Seriously? You’re going to act like a fucking Karen?”

“Would you like to see me try?” He challenges.

That’s the last thing you needed from him and you don’t question that he would stay true to his word and make sure his complaint reached top management. Letting out a sigh, you nod at his request and show your best customer service smile before saying, “How can I help you?”

Your shift finally ends and you can’t wait to go home to wash off the day. After Lloyd pestered you with all the TV selections you showed him, he left with nothing and you tried your best not to show your annoyance at him though he knows he’s riled you up—he always does. 

Bidding your goodbyes to Kate and the rest as you leave the store with Jensen in tow. He offered a ride to the station—something he always does and one you couldn’t refuse after the long day. You just want to go home and curl up in your room and hope that Lloyd doesn’t show himself again after that awful stint. 

“Tough day, huh?” Jensen asks as he brings the engine to life and drives off from the parking lot. 

“Yeah. I’m just glad it’s over.” You respond, leaning back against your seat while you hug your backpack against your chest.

“Yeah.” He echoes, hearing his fingers tap against the wheel. “The line at the tech depot was pretty long too. Seems like every computer within town is falling apart.” He jokes, and you think it’s an attempt to lighten the mood. You still feel tense with the altercation he had with Lloyd—you just wish for once one of them would listen to you. 

“Hey, sorry about earlier.” He says and you visibly cringe when he mentions it. “I know you could handle him but knowing that he’s bothering you, I couldn’t just step away from—”

“Look. Jensen.” You sigh as you turn to face him. “I appreciate your concern, really, I do. But no offense, it’s none of your business. I don’t need a knight in shining armor to come and rescue me each time that idiot shows up. The others stay away because of how reckless he can be and I just don’t want you to get caught in the line of fire. Just let me handle him.”

You know full well why Jensen couldn’t get past that. After admitting to you his feelings since he found out you were single, he’s been subtly dropping hints about asking you out. You’d probably have taken up the offer if you met him before Lloyd but the trauma your ex has imprinted on you just leaves you thinking that any man who would dare go near would be the same. 

Silence fills the small space, along with a flicker of tension. You think Jensen would disapprove of your words, that he would insist on giving his unwarranted help. But all you hear is a sigh and you see the nod of his head. 

“Okay.” He utters, the rubber covering the steering wheel squeaking when his hold on it tightens. “I won’t meddle any—”

“JENSEN!” You shout and grab onto the handle of your seat when a car suddenly turns and blocks your path, Jensen stepping hard onto the brakes. 

“What the fuck?!” He shouts as he rolls down his window but you, on the other hand, sit still when you see Conrad, one of Lloyd’s buddies, step out of the car and walk over to Jensen’s side. “What the hell is wrong with you, bro?!” Jensen growls as he unlocks his door, ready to step out.

But you’re too late to warn him—Conrad pulling open the door and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, trapping him against the side of his car. Lloyd then suddenly appears, with Chris in tow. He goes first to Jensen, the latter flinching when he raises his fist at him, threatening to lay a punch before leaning down and framing his arms over the edge of the window.

Your eyes dart to Jensen when he grunts against Conrad’s grip, glaring at Lloyd when he stares you down. “What the fuck are you doing here, Lloyd?!”

His eyes meet yours, darkness swirling around the blue and you can already tell that he’s angry. “What are you doing here, Kitten?” He says, a cocky grin on his face. “You couldn’t wait for me to pick you up so you got into this loser’s car?” He tuts, chin nodding over to your side and your door suddenly opens, Chris, pulling you out aggressively. 

You look around, hoping to call for help but you curse Jensen when you notice he went through the back roads. No one ever passes here, especially at this hour, and now the both of you are at the mercy of your ex who you see looming over your co-worker. 

You gasp when Lloyd sends him a punch, trying to pull away from Chris’ grasp to help Jensen, but it’s no use. You’re rendered helpless as you watch him send another blow, making the other bowl over to which Conrad pushes him further to the ground.

“Stay away from my girl, asshole!” Lloyd threatens before spitting at the other man, your eyes grow wide when Lloyd takes you from Chris and drags you to his car. 

You hear the sound of tires being slashed and several glass breaking along with Jensen’s pained grunts. You knew Lloyd could be reckless but you’ve never seen him this way before. He opens the passenger door and pushes you in, slamming the door harshly before getting inside himself. He doesn’t wait for his companions before driving off, your hand grabbing the side of the door with the speed he’s going. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” You shout. “Let me out of here!”

“You keep testing me, Kitten. Running off with other men like that.” He growls and you scream when he takes a sharp left, cars honking left and right at how careless he’s driving. 

“Are you that daft?! We’re over, Lloyd! We’ve been for years!” You shout amidst the panic that rolls through your veins, eventually getting the courage to hit him on the shoulder when he gets on the main road. 

But you soon realize your mistake when he stops at an alley and his hand immediately wraps around your neck, pulling you towards him. You grab on his wrist when he squeezes tight, your eyes wide as you fear that he would choke you, kill you on the spot. 

“Lloyd—” you gasp, slapping on his hand as tears fall from your eyes. “Y—you’re hurting me.”

“I will only say this once, Kitten, so you better listen.” His hot breath spreads across your cheek when he pulls you closer, the tick on his jaw setting you on edge. “You’re mine and no one, not even you, can change that fact. Got it?”

All you can do is nod, to agree with every word he says if it means you get to keep your life. 

“Good.” He huffs, the anger in him somewhat seeping away, loosening his hold around your neck. “Good girl.” The praise that used to send shivers of desire within you now has your stomach twisting in disgust. “And if I see that weirdo or any other man going near you again, you know what will happen.”

You nod once more and gasp when he completely releases you, leaning against your seat as you try to regulate your breathing.

He drives once more and you’re thankful he’s slower this time, doing your best to stay calm as you look out the window. “Where are you taking me?” You ask, although you already have an inkling of his answer when you recognize the area you’re in and the direction he’s driving to. You haven’t driven in and out of these roads for almost two years. After you and Lloyd broke up.

The smirk he gives you is enough of an answer.

“Are we going to pre-game before the party?” Bucky asks as he plops down onto the couch in the employee lounge, shaking a tumbler of his protein shake in his hand. “Last year’s booze ran out so fast, I went home seeing straight. I don’t want to be sober on Halloween night.”

“You never want to be sober, Barnes,” Kate comments as she rolls her eyes, yet her interest seems to already be piqued. “But he’s right. Are we going to drink before the party or should we just hit the club after? I have a friend who can get us in at this club for free.”

“That could work but I’d rather enjoy the night drunk then get wasted at the club.” Bucky responds, taking a sip of his drink. “We could just meet up at someone’s place and pre-game there, then we can all go to the party together. Would save us gas too if we just take one car.”

“Who even lives near the venue?” 

You tune yourself out from their conversation and stab your fork into your lunch as the Halloween party is the last of your concerns. Besides, you don’t think Lloyd would be happy with you attending and you wouldn’t dare give him the opportunity to ruin the event for you and your friends or give him any reason to be mad again. 

Your friends exchange ideas, listing down people’s names of who they’ll be inviting for their plan of drinks and whose place they’ll be crashing when the door of the lounge opens and you freeze in your seat when Bucky calls out Jensen’s name.

“Hey buddy! You live downtown, right?” Bucky asks, patting the space beside him to which Jensen accepts. “We were thinking that—the fuck happened to your face?”

Your grip on your fork tightens when you chance a peek at both men, feeling your stomach drop when you see the bruise staining Jensen’s cheek. 

“Oh that?” Jensen chuckles, his fingers running against the side of his face. “I wasn’t looking where I was going and I slammed against my door frame.” You know he’s lying, though you’re somewhat thankful he didn’t expose what Lloyd and his friends did. Still, you feel the guilt nipping at the back of your neck. 

“You’re such a klutz, Jake.” Kate says with a laugh. 

Jensen makes a face in her direction and you look away when his eyes meet yours. “Why were you guys asking if I lived downtown?” He suddenly asks, shifting the topic. 

Bucky takes the lead again. “We were thinking of doing drinks before heading to the party. And since you live closer to the venue, maybe we could just meet at your place?”

“Depends. Do I have to provide the booze?”

“We can bring some and you prepare some.” Kate responds. “Sounds good?”

Jensen hums audibly as he thinks of his decision. You feel the tension circling around you as you sense his eyes on you while he speaks. You don’t dare to look up, keeping your focus trained on the lifeless pasta in your lunch container.

“I’m in. Though who’s coming? My apartment isn’t that big so I can’t really hold a huge crowd.” He finally says.

“I’m there.” Bucky says, mouth full of his protein shake. “Tell me what you guys want and I’ll bring it.”

“Me too. Though I’m bringing my boyfriend along—that cool with you guys?” No one seems to object and you look up to face your best friend when she nudges you. “You’re coming too, right? Amber’s dragging Nick along and we won’t be complete without you. I even planned this super cool costume for us.”

You feel your body shake at her question. The pressure of going to the event with your best friends growing in your chest, colliding with the added stress of meeting at Jensen’s place and the fear of Lloyd finding out about the plan. 

“I don’t know.” You say with a frown, closing up your container as your appetite has already turned sour from the anxiety crawling up your spine. “You know I don’t do well at parties. I’ll just stink up the mood.”

“Aww come on. Please?” She begs with those puppy eyes she always uses to convince you. “You’ll be with us and if it gets too much, we’ll leave. And if you’re worried about that psycho ex of yours showing up, I can just show Andy in his direction and he’ll show him a thing or two.” You want to latch onto the assurance she gives you but she doesn’t know Lloyd like you do. 

Still, you could probably think of a way to convince him—he’s never been apprehensive of you spending time with your friends. Except it’s not only them who would be with you; Bucky and Jensen would be there as well, and you’ve already witnessed what he’s done to the latter, the evidence staring you in the face. 

And that would mean you would have to lie. Though is it really lying if you’re just omitting out the information he doesn’t want to hear?

But the plan didn’t go as expected. 

Instead of heading over to the company party after drinks at Jensen’s apartment, like what was discussed, you find yourself nursing a red cup full of shitty alcohol in a dimly lit house while surrounded by your friend group and people you only assume to be Bucky’s college frat buddies. 

You tug on the skirt of your black dress that’s a little too short for your liking, the cat headband already irritating you with how long you’ve been wearing it. You don’t know why you’ve agreed to Kate’s idea for the three of you to imitate the costume from that movie—you’re just glad she didn’t push you to wear a bodysuit and that Amber was happy to trade with the mouse theme you were originally assigned to do. 

Speaking of your best friends, you walk around the living room as you try to look for them, no longer wanting to be alone amidst the foreign crowd. But you frown when you see Kate at the corner of the room, her boyfriend’s hand planted firmly on her ass while they make out. Amber, on the other hand, was just on the other side, with Nick barricading her against the wall like some prison guard. Though with the smile you see on her face, she doesn’t seem to mind being isolated by him.

Your eyes then dart towards the front door when the cheers of men grow louder than the music blasting in the house. Three people walk in, each one wearing a mask over some effortless casual clothes underneath. But the one wearing the iconic ghostface catches your attention, noticing him looking your way with the other two standing behind him following suit. There’s a somewhat eerie familiarity to their masked gaze that makes you look away and leave from where you stand.

“Not really what you’re expecting, huh?” You startle when someone says too close against your ear, making you look up and chuckle when you see Jensen smiling at you, an opened beer bottle in his hand. 

“It feels like I’m back in college attending a frat party.” You comment, making the both of you laugh and tapping your cup against his bottle when he raises it to you.

“You went to a lot of parties in college?”

You shake your head. “Not really. Wasn’t really a party type.”

“Same. But I had no choice with my roommate dragging me to every party.”

You have no idea why Jensen is speaking to you—after what he endured with Lloyd and his buddies, you’d think he’d steer clear of you, probably even fear you thinking that history would repeat itself. But deep down, you’re happy to be in his company, choosing it over being alone in a place you don’t even know half the people in. 

The both of you chat for a while, finding a less crowded spot in the kitchen and helping yourselves with the food and the drinks that are out and free for the taking. You still feel bad when the bruise on his cheek remains prominent, though with his purple button up and baggy gray slacks, you think it blends well with his cosplay of Bruce Banner when you asked him who he was supposed to be. 

“I’m sorry for what happened to you, Jen.” You tell him with a frown, leaning against the edge of the counter as you look down at your drink. “I didn’t think Lloyd would actually hurt anyone.”

“It’s fine. It’s just a bruise.” He assures, giving your arm a pat.

“What about your car? Didn’t they trash it?”

“They did. But good thing I have insurance.”

It surprises you how positive the air around him still is despite the misfortune he’s met because of you. You almost envy his happiness, and the happiness that your friends have and you find it almost unfair that Lloyd wasn’t like Andy and Nick, doting and loving towards their girls, when both those men are his friends. You wish he’d learn a thing or two from them about handling relationships the proper way. 

Sadness then swirls around you as you contemplate on what your life has become; always scared and cautious, that Lloyd would hurt another because of his jealousy, because of his unspoken obsession to completely possess you.

Your train of thought stops when you feel your cup being taken from your grasp, Jensen replacing it with a fresh one, fizz floating to the top of the amber liquid. “Jack and Coke.” He says. “Your drink looked a little stale.”

But before you could even take a sip, you hear spine tingling screams coming from the living room. You think it’s some scary prank someone has pulled on another, you and Jensen looking at each other and pushing away from your perch to investigate the commotion. But in just a flash of a second, the whole house is in chaos, people running, scrambling for their lives while the three masked men you saw earlier run amok, shooting and stabbing the party goers one by one and leaving them bloody and dead on the ground. 

No sound escapes your lips as you’re gripped by fear upon witnessing the bloodbath, your body refusing to move even when your brain tells it to. But the hand that grabs onto your arm has you shouting in shock, only to be muffled by another and your eyes wide with horror thinking that they’ve got you. But to your relief, it’s only Jensen and he places a finger against his lips, telling you to be quiet before pulling you amongst the havoc for a way out. 

You try the backdoor first but for some unknown reason it wouldn’t budge open no matter how hard he yanks it. He tries the window above the kitchen sink as well but just like the door, it’s screwed shut. He pulls on you once more, leading you down the hall this time, the rave music playing loudly in your ears pumping the adrenaline in your veins while the sound of the screams die out one by one. 

He makes it to the end of the hall, the staircase free from the killers but with bodies lying lifeless on the steps—a woman with her throat cut wide open and a man with a bullet right between his eyes. He looks back at you, telling you to be quiet once more as he gestures that you both will be heading up. But before he could even set foot on the first step, one of the masked men appears and kicks him forward, making him topple over the corpses. 

A scream is then wretched from your throat when you’re suddenly pulled back, the stranger trapping you against him while he positions his knife just under your chin, feeling the sharp edge of the blade kiss your skin. The man from the stairs kicks Jensen in the stomach then again, your co-worker writhing in pain as another joins his attacker, this time with a metal bar which he slams against his chest.

“Hello, nerd! Long time no see.” The one who kicked him greets, the timbre of his voice making your heart pound against your chest. No! “Whatcha doin’ with my girl, huh?” The stranger asks before pulling off his mask and you freeze when you see Lloyd’s face. He then turns to you, a cocky smirk playing on his lips and sending you a wink before he asks, “Whatcha doin’ here, Kitten? Thought you were at a company party?” The sly twist in his voice has you on edge.

The smirk on his face then fades, turning into a scowl when he nods at the man who’s got you trapped against him. You’re then released from his hold but not for long as Lloyd simply takes his place, grabbing you by your arm, wincing from his tight grip and dragging you into the living room where you see countless bodies lying lifeless on the ground and the walls of the house painted crimson.

He shoves you against the couch where you fall against something cold and sticky, only to realize too late, crying out to see that it’s Bucky you landed on; his blood staining your dress and your hands. But you’re then pushed away from him, falling back on the cushions as Lloyd kicks his body off the surface to take the space he once occupied. 

You feel like you’re about to convulse as you cry when Lloyd wraps an arm around you. You try to push away from him, not wanting to be near him but he shakes you like a rag doll, making you stop before gesturing over to someone you cannot see as your eyes are blurry from your tears and remain locked on your dead friend’s feet. 

“Gentlemen, thank you for all your help.” Lloyd says when the music finally dies and you look up, surprised to see Andy and Nick standing unscathed with only splatters of blood staining their costumes. But what has you more jarred is seeing Kate and Amber bound and gagged, sitting against the floor, they’re eyes wide in fear as they squirm to be free from their restraints. 

You’re suddenly off your seat and on your feet, determined to get to them, to help set them free and run away from this horrid place. But Lloyd is quick to yank you back, grunting when you fall onto his lap and his strong arm wrapping around your waist to hold you in place.

“Relax, Kitten. They’re safe.” Lloyd assures, his gloved finger grazing against your cheek. “Just had to go through some extra measures to keep them out of the way.”

“We did our part, Hansen.” Andy says, pulling Kate from the ground who forcefully tries to pull away from his grip while Nick does the same with Amber, who in turn quietly follows while tears keep running down her face. “Just don’t forget the deal.”

“Yeah yeah. Just make sure your bitches know what to say if they’re questioned.” Lloyd responds with disinterest. “Meet me by the end of this week for your payment.”

It’s all the words the men exchange before dragging away your friends, their wide and fearful eyes being the last you see before the door closes behind them. 

The sound of wood being dragged across the tiled floor then makes you look forward, seeing Chris and Conrad, now with their masks off, placing a chair in front of you and Lloyd while the latter drags Jensen’s beaten body and forces him to take a seat. Both men then go to work, effectively binding their captive’s wrists behind his back with tape and his ankles to the legs of the chair.

The sight of his damaged state breaks your heart as you helplessly feel guilty upon thinking that everything that has happened to him is all your fault. You never should have come here in the first place as soon as you found out about the change of plans. You should have just gone home or better yet, you should have just stayed at home where you know Lloyd would be.

Yet the universe could be so cruel.

“Look what we found on him.” Chris says in a serious tone before pulling out a small ziplock bag from Jensen’s shirt pocket and tossing it over your lap. You glance down at the clear packaging, seeing several small white tablets enclosed in it. What?

“Lover boy here was so desperate to get laid he brought roofies with him.” Conrad adds with a laugh, pushing on the back of Jensen’s head hard that his body jolts forward.

The bag is then taken from your lap, Lloyd holding it up close to his face as he inspects the white circles. You yelp when you’re suddenly shoved off his lap, falling over to the floor while Lloyd steps over to Jensen and grabs him by his hair, pulling his head back while he holds the baggie in front of him, breathing heavily like some wild animal through gritted teeth.

“You were gonna drug my girl, weren’t you?!” Lloyd spits out his words and on Jensen’s face, tossing the tablets in Conrad’s direction, your throat eliciting a gasp when he holds a knife to his neck this time. “Did you take any drink from him?!” He asks, but it takes a second for you to realize that he’s talking to you. He turns in your direction, eyes dark with anger. “Any fizzy shit this asshole gave you?!”

You don’t understand what he’s asking, why the sudden interrogation—then it hits you. In the kitchen while you were busy with your thoughts, Jensen took your stale drink, as he claimed, and replaced it with another. No—it can’t be. He said it had coke in it and sodas make a fizz. 

“I won’t ask again, Kitten.” Lloyd pushes and you nod out of fear, knowing that he would find out that you’re lying to him if you said otherwise.

The look on Lloyd’s face shifts into something that makes the hair on the back of your head stand. Like something sinister has possessed him with the way his lips curl in a playful manner. 

A groan leaves Jensen’s lips when Lloyd releases him and you push yourself back against the couch when he goes for you next.

“Lloyd, please—!” you beg as he tucks the knife in his pocket, yanking you from the ground and shoving you forward, planting you firmly in front of Jensen before forcing you to bend over. “Let’s just go home—you already beat him!” You cry, pushing against Jensen’s thighs when Lloyd doesn’t budge and keeps dipping you further.

You feel like you’re going to gag when the metallic stench fills your nose especially with how close you are to your bleeding co-worker and you attempt once more to push away from him, no longer wanting the both of you to suffer. But the world suddenly feels like it’s turning upside down when you feel Lloyd pushing up the skirt of your dress, a grunt leaving his chest when he roughly rips your panties off your thighs.

“Now, don’t be like that, Kitten.” He says in a syrupy tone. “Don’t you want to at least show him his sick fantasy of fucking you?” The tell tale sound of his zipper being undone fills your ears and you’re shocked frozen, scared to the wits end that Lloyd would take you here amongst the dead and in front of your friend who he’s beaten to a pulp.

You look away from Jensen when you feel Lloyd’s cock brush against your ass, his tip teasing your pussy lips. You then shout when Lloyd grabs you by the back of your neck, forcing you to look back at your friend who has one eye swollen shut, while the other is stained with blood and brimming with unshed tears.

In one swift move, Lloyd enters you, gasping for air at his sudden intrusion. Pain blooms at the pit of your stomach when he doesn’t allow your walls to adjust and begins fucking you at a brutal pace, your nails digging into Jensen’s thighs as you try to endure your abuser’s torment. 

Your body jolts against the chair, following Lloyd’s callous thrusts. You’re then washed in humiliation when you hear Chris and Conrad snickering at your sides, seeing them watch you with perverse eyes, sickened to the core as the thought that they enjoy what they are witnessing comes to your mind.

Both men then hold Jensen in place when he starts squirming in his seat that he almost topples over. Lloyd then abruptly pulls you up, pressing your back against his chest but only to grab on the straps of your dress and harshly pull them down from your shoulders, having your breasts spill into the open.

“She’s got perfect tits, doesn’t she, lover boy?” Lloyd taunts as he keeps up the pace of his hips, grabbing your breasts, kneading, squeezing, and pushing them together. “Why don’t you feel how soft they are?” And it’s as if things couldn’t get any worse, Lloyd moves you forward along with him, tipping forward when your knees hit the edge of the seat. His hands grab onto the back of the chair and you wail in horror when he forces your breasts to press against Jensen’s face, the sticky blood smearing all over your skin.

Lloyd laughs and so do his friends and all you feel is shame and disgust at what he’s doing to you—that the man you once loved would hurt you in the sickest way possible.

A gasp is once more wretched from your throat when Lloyd slams hard against your cunt, feeling his thick cock slide even deeper when your walls grow wet, the toe curling sensation from his tip repeatedly hitting that sweet spot of yours trying to take over. You feel like a woman possessed as you grit your teeth, pushing hard against the unwanted pleasure that slowly begins to crawl up your skin and seep into your bones, not wanting to give Lloyd the satisfaction that, despite such circumstances, he still manages to make you feel such a way.

Yet your attempts are deemed fruitless when you whimper and eventually turn into a moaning mess, your body responding to each of Lloyd’s touch; your pussy walls clenching around his throbbing cock with each thrust he makes and how your skin shivers, singing each note in sheer perfection as you climb higher and higher to your peak.

“You see that, nerd? You see how she turns into a fucking slut when you fuck her good?” He goads between heavy breaths, adjusting the position of his legs to have you lean more against his victim, his hands grabbing onto your tits once again only to rub it further against Jensen’s face, feeling the bristles of his goatee rub roughly against your skin. 

“Too bad you’ll never get to have this.”

Lloyd's hips begin moving more erratically, the sound of your skins slapping with one another filling the stolid air. You swallow thickly, refusing for any more moans to leave your lips as you’re slowly enveloped in ecstasy, Lloyd’s cock pulsing deep in your pussy.

A blinding white light suddenly fills your vision and you shake uncontrollably as you come hard around Lloyd’s shaft. Tears once again spring from your eyes and you’re confused about what causes it. Is it embarrassment from feeling the pleasure? Pain from Lloyd’s roughness? Or is it sadness of how the evening of fun turned into a nightmare? You can’t think as you’re dissolved into nothing, your body floating in orgasmic bliss. 

Lloyd follows soon, growling low and animalistic as he keeps his cock buried balls deep, painting your pussy walls with streaks of white as he spills his seed, filling you to the brim.

You think that it’s finally over, that Lloyd’s objective has finally been met. But a life draining gasp then fills your ears—not from you or from Lloyd but from Jensen. And it’s only then that you realize what has happened when you see Lloyd’s hand gripped on the hilt of the knife with the blade stuck deep into Jensen’s chest.

“No!” You cry out as Lloyd stabs him repeatedly, grunts of passionate anger escaping him each time he sinks the blade into the body before you. 

Tears of despair and horror are what fall from your eyes, closing them as you hope that this is all a bad dream. You ball your hands into fists as you try your hardest to close in on yourself, to leave this place of torment that Lloyd has condemned you into. 

Yet, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t. With the sound of metal hitting bone, along with the devious laugh of the men around you and the way your body shakes from Lloyd’s continuous blow, you’re repeatedly pulled back into the present, unwillingly witnessing the murder of your friend. 

You suddenly feel your body shake, your chest tightening that you think the room is losing air and the smell of blood getting stronger and stronger that it makes bile ride up your throat. With Lloyd’s final stab, he pulls you away with him, leaving the knife buried in Jensen’s throat. The world around you suddenly turns, your vision spinning uncontrollably that before you could even let out a scream, everything suddenly goes dark.

You sit inside the employee lounge along with the others in somber idleness. The police came over just before the store opened and ordered that it remained closed for the rest of the day to make way for an investigation. Vince wasn’t happy with the commands of the law enforcers but there’s nothing he could do—there was nothing anybody could do.

A massacre, one of the officers said. A mass murder, another voices, declaring that some of the victims were employees of the store. You already knew who it was—Bucky and Jensen.

One by one, the employees were interrogated, some taking minutes while others taking hours. You glance at Kate who sits across from you on the lunch table, noting the small bruise on the side of her neck. You try not to imagine what Andy told her or did to her that night. You don’t even dare to ask as you refuse to relive the grim evening, nor want to feed her any memory of it.

You sit up once your name is called and you feel the eyes of your other co-workers land on you. The detective, stout and looking somewhat annoyed to be doing such a thing, looks your way and asks your name once more to confirm your identity.

He beckons you to follow him and you do, but not before looking down at your best friend when she grabs your hand, seeing the fear etched in her eyes. You give her a small smile and give her hand a reassuring squeeze before letting her go and following the detective into the other room. 

You do as you’re told when he tells you to sit, staring down at the round table that sits between the both of you as you wait for his first question.

“I’m Detective Bodecker.” He starts, his belly protruding as he leans back against his seat. “And I just want to ask you a few questions regarding your co-workers. Is that okay?”

You nod.

“Do you need some water? Anything to make you comfortable?”

You shake your head.

“Very well. Let’s begin.” He hums and grabs his notebook from the desk, flipping a page. “Where were you on the night of October 31st?”

Your mind suddenly begins reliving the night in question. Jensen’s bloody face and Lloyd’s devious smile playing in your head. You blink those thoughts away, not wanting to give out any information on your face.

Taking a breath, you begin your tale. 

“I was at a party—”

[cheynovak]

When we were young - Part 2

Ben (Soldier Boy) Harrison x F/Reader Y/N            

Contains/warnings: 18+, Smut, angst, fluff, hurt, Childhood/ family trauma, puberty, losing virginity, time jump ...  

Side note: English isn’t my first language     

Words:   5500

Part 2 out of 3

*Does not follow the boys storyline – Set in a time period where Ben was not yet a supe. Since we don’t know his last name, I came up with Harrison for this story.*  

 

--  

Y/N is a young girl who works with her mother as a maid in the household of Mr. Harrison and his son Ben. Since Ben was mostly in boarding school and Y/N till this summer in a normal school, they didn’t know each other very well.  

This summer it all changed, Y/N had to help her mother financially and Mr. Harrison was so kind to let her work with her mom in his house. That’s when she met Ben, his son who was only a year older than her.   

Soon the kids became best friends... but is that all there is? Friendship?  

-- 

Ben got home yesterday, he got kicked out of boarding school and since he was almost an adult it was difficult for his father to find a school that was willing to take him in. He talked to me about Ben every night.  

Asking me what I thought about him being so disobedient, it was hard for me to answer that, since I saw only the pain and suffering. But I stayed polite like my mom thought me, said I can’t interfere in those matters or gave him a soft smile. 

This morning Ben walked in the kitchen while I was washing the dishes from breakfast, but the second he saw me, he turned around. I couldn’t stand this anymore and ran after him. ”Ben, Ben, Ben!”  

He stopped in his tracks. ”What?” he asked not looking at me.”What’s wrong?” I asked. I saw his foot tapping the floor. He was either nervous or furious. “Did I do something wrong?” I could feel the tears prickling behind my eyes. 

“No.” He answered sharp. “Then what is it?” I pushed. He didn’t answer and walked upstairs. Mr. Harrison saw how his son reacted. ”Benjamin! When a woman asks you something you answer!” He turned to me “See what I mean, I send that boy to the best schools and still he has no manners, don’t take it personally Y/N.”  

He placed his hand on my shoulder, it was weird, he never touched me before, and unlike the touch was supposed to feel, secure a token of care, it felt cold. I smiled politely but the second he walked in a room I ran upstairs.  

As I rushed upstairs, frustration and confusion bubbling within me, I found Ben in his room. Without hesitation, I demanded to know why he had been ignoring me this past year. His reaction was unexpected and defensive, his eyes avoiding mine as he refused to give me a straight answer.  

"Ben, why have you been avoiding me?" I pressed, my voice tinged with hurt. He shifted uncomfortably, his hands fidgeting with something on his desk. When I asked if it was because of a new girlfriend, his reaction was sudden and sharp.  

He snapped at me, his tone cutting through the air with an edge of anger. "Don't be so demanding of my attention, Y/N," he retorted, his voice tinged with frustration. "I have other things going on in my life than to write fucking letters!" 

"Beside it seems that my dad gives you all the attention you need!" His father? I had no idea what he meant by that. "Y-your dad? He has been kind since my mom died Ben, that's it."

"Good for you princess, I'm glad he at least gave a shit about one of us when their mother died!"

His words stung, leaving me speechless and wounded. The sudden change in his demeanour baffled me, and I struggled to comprehend why he was pushing me away like this. Had our friendship meant so little to him after all?  

Tears welled up in my eyes as I stood there, grappling with a mixture of emotions, hurt, confusion, and a growing sense of betrayal. I had always thought Ben and I could talk about anything, share our worries and joys without fear of judgment or rejection.  

But now, faced with his cold dismissal, I felt a rift forming between us. His unwillingness to explain himself left me with more questions than answers, and I couldn't shake the feeling that something had shifted irreparably in our friendship. 

"I-I refuse to believe that is the only reason why you are so hard on me. We barely talk when your home, you never write to me anymore, you don't even look me in the eyes."

As I stood there, hurt and bewildered by Ben's sudden distance and defensive reaction, I couldn't hold back the pain that was welling up inside me. "Ben, I miss my best friend," I pleaded, my voice wavering with emotion. "You used to tell me everything, and I would never judge you."  

His response was sharp, cutting through the air like a knife. "I can't tell you everything, Y/N," he snapped, his frustration palpable. "Not anymore." His words struck me like a blow. I couldn't understand why he was shutting me out, why he had suddenly become so guarded. 

The distance between us felt like a chasm widening with each passing moment, and I couldn't bear the thought of losing the closeness we had once shared. I left his room tears now streaming down my cheeks.  

After an hour I heard a soft knock on my door. The door opened slightly and I saw his perfect green eyes looking at me. “Can I come in?” " Only if you talk to me.” He did so I asked again. “What's going on?"  

He hesitated, his expression conflicted. For a moment, I thought he might relent, might open up to me like he used to. But then, with a bitter edge to his voice, he uttered words that shattered my heart.  

"I had sex..." he confessed, "With who? Do you have a new girl?" I asked clearly upset. “With a prostitute... multiple prostitutes... and eh girlfriends... over the last year.” his voice laced with a mixture of defiance and vulnerability.

He must have seen the shock on my face. "There, see I can't tell you everything. But now you know like you wanted, and you're disgusted with me. "  

I was stunned into silence, the weight of his confession sinking in. Shock, disbelief, and a sense of loss washed over me in waves. I struggled to find words, to make sense of the revelation and the rift it had created between us.  

Ben's words echoed in my mind, a painful reminder of how much had changed between us. His words hung in the air, heavy with finality and a bitter sense of resignation. As he voiced his belief that it was best not to be friends anymore, a wave of numbness washed over me. 

Masking the hurt and confusion that threatened to overwhelm. I tried to brush off his confession, to pretend like it was nothing,” What, why not? B-because you had intercourse. T-that's ok, that’s eh, fine I don’t care.”  

But Ben saw right through my facade. His gaze bore into mine, searching for a connection that felt increasingly elusive. "We've both grown up and changed," Ben continued, his voice tinged with sadness. "Maybe it's time to accept that things aren't the same anymore."  

The realization hit me like a punch to the gut, our friendship, once a cornerstone of my life, was slipping away. I wanted to argue, to plead with him to reconsider, but the words caught in my throat.  

The truth was painfully clear: we had drifted apart. The innocence of childhood had given way to the complexities of adolescence. With a heavy heart, I nodded slowly, unable to summon the strength to fight against the inevitable.  

"I understand," I managed to whisper, my voice barely audible. "I guess... maybe you're right." Ben's expression softened briefly, a flicker of regret passing through his eyes. "I'm sorry, Y/N," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.  

The next few days my teary eyes did not go unnoticed by Mr. Harrison. Concern etched his face as he approached me, his instincts urging him to rush to his son to teach him a lesson. But before he could, I stopped him gently, my voice wavering.

"It's not Ben's fault," I managed, trying to compose myself. Mr. Harrison, sensing my turmoil, pulled me in a comforting embrace. His arms provided a momentary refuge from the storm of emotions swirling inside me.  

Confusion mingled with gratitude as I accepted the unexpected gesture of solace. The warmth of his care offered a fleeting sense of security amidst the uncertainty of my friendship with Ben.  

But for the moment his tenderness towards me felt like a warm welcome to ease my pain, so I placed my head against his shoulder. When I closed my eyes I could pretend it was Ben who held me instead of this stone cold man.

-- 

Ben’s POV:  

As Ben stood at the top of the stairs, watching his father comfort her in a gesture that stirred a tumult of emotions within him, he felt a confusing mix of anger, upset, and an unexpected pang of jealousy.  

Seeing her in his father's embrace, seeking solace that Ben himself couldn't provide, knowing his father he never did anything without meaning.

Seeing how his hand caressed her back, how she melted away in his embrace, her head against his shoulder and her eyes closed.

Turning away abruptly, Ben retreated to the solitude of the night. The cool breeze of the garden offered clarity. Trying to understand why he gave her so much warmth.

And then it hit him, she is nice, sweet, caring, honest and beautiful. Just like his mother was. His father must have seen something in her that remembers him of her. Especially now since Y/N no longer looked like a young girl but morphed into a woman.

Under the soft glow of the moon, he wandered aimlessly, trying to make sense of the turmoil within him. He passed by Y/N's window, noticing her lights still on and the faint movements inside the room.  

Curiosity and a longing he couldn't quite define drew him closer, despite the inner conflict raging within him. Standing outside her window, hidden in the shadows of a tree, Ben observed Y/N. She appeared changing her clothes, her expression unreadable as she moved around in the room.  

Ben stood there, frozen, his imagination no longer able to hold back, he longed to be with her, wanting to see what was under those new clothes his father had bought her. Wanting to feel her skin underneath his fingertips, to explore the new curves she developed during this year.  

Curious if making love with Y/N would feel the same, no it had to be different, better. He’d make sure she felt satisfied. While his mind played tricks on him, while he watched the shadow of her move around.  

For a moment, he hesitated, unsure of whether to announce his presence or slip away unnoticed. The sight of Y/N, illuminated by the gentle glow of her lamp, tugged at Ben's heartstrings.  

A part of him yearned to reach out, yet, another part hesitated, weighed down by pride and unresolved emotions. In the quiet of the night, beneath the watchful stars, Ben wrestled with his conflicted feelings. He knew deep down that he couldn't let their friendship slip away without a fight.  

As Ben stood outside Y/N's door, his heart pounding with a mix of nerves and determination, he took a deep breath before knocking softly. Moments later, Y/N opened the door, a hint of surprise crossing her face as she hastily covered herself while wearing a new nightgown, the fabric rich and unfamiliar to Ben.  

His eyes widened in shock at the sight of her. The nightgown, another gift from his father, draped over Y/N's figure, transforming her from the familiar young girl he had known into a vision of maturity and elegance. Showing more of her skin of her than he had ever seen before.  

The realization hit him like a wave, Y/N was no longer the girl he once saw as his childhood friend; she had grown into a woman before his eyes. Y/N hesitated for a moment before stepping aside to let him in, a silent invitation that spoke volumes.  

Ben entered tentatively, the atmosphere heavy with unspoken words and the weight of recent events. "I... I'm sorry," Ben murmured, his voice tinged with regret as he struggled to find the right words. 

"For everything. For pushing you away, for not being there when you needed me. I mean, your mother died, a-and I turned into an asshole. Blaming you for my fathers mistakes. I should have been glad he at least tried to show compassion for you."

His apology hung in the air, filled with the sincerity of someone who had come to terms with his mistakes.  

-- 

Y/N's POV

He met my gaze, searching for forgiveness and hoping against hope that their friendship could be salvaged despite the rift that had formed between us. After a long moment, I finally nodded slowly, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. 

"I appreciate that, Ben," I replied softly, my voice carrying a mix of understanding and relief. "I missed you." Ben's heart soared at her words, a flicker of hope igniting within him. "I missed you too, Y/N," he admitted earnestly, the weight of their shared history flooding back. 

"Can we... can we try to fix things? Start over?" I hesitated briefly before nodding again, but I couldn’t hold back a smile. As I settled onto the bed, the familiar comfort of our shared space enveloped us, easing some of the tension that lingered between us.  

As Ben and I started to talk and laugh like we used to, the inner child came back up. Ben mocked his father’s sense of fashion, draping a satin robe with flowers over his shoulders, while he danced to the and talked about all the bars he had been at night, while I giggled and watch him from my bed.

After a short silence, I couldn’t help but to wonder, so I asked. 

“How was it... your first time?” my question hung in the air, delicate yet laden with curiosity and a desire for openness. Ben hesitated, his gaze shifting momentarily as he grappled with the vulnerability of the topic.  

He knew me well enough to sense my sincerity, my genuine interest in understanding his experiences, despite the awkwardness of the subject. He took a seat next to me on the bed. "It was..." Ben started slowly, his voice low and hesitant.  

"It was strange, honestly. I wasn't expecting it to happen, not like that." He glanced at me, gauging my reaction carefully. There was no judgment from me, only a quiet patience and acceptance that encouraged him to continue.  

"It wasn't what I thought it would be," he admitted, his words tinged with a mixture of embarrassment and relief at being able to share his thoughts with me. "I felt... I don't know, like I was just going through the motions. It didn't feel right but then again, it's a really, really addicted feeling."  

I nodded empathetically, listening to every word, my expression softening with understanding. "I'm sorry it wasn't what you hoped for," I murmured sincerely sighed, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders as he opened up to me. My compassion and non-judgmental demeanour offered him a sense of relief he hadn't realized he needed.  

As I listened to Ben describe his longing for a meaningful connection filled with love and passion, my heart raced with a mixture of emotions. His words echoed my own desires, resonating deeply within me, and for a moment, I dared to hope that perhaps we shared more than just friendship.  

"You wanted love and passion," I murmured softly, searching his eyes for confirmation. "Like... like something real." Ben nodded, his expression vulnerable as he spoke. "Yeah," he replied quietly. "I wanted it to be... special, you know? Not just a quick fuck in a bar with a hooker."  

But then, Ben's next words tempered my excitement, casting a shadow of doubt over our shared moment of connection. "But I don't think that is posibble," he continued, his voice tinged with resignation.  

"The girl I want... she probably doesn't want me, not after all my mistakes." Confusion and disappointment warred within me as I processed his confession. Was he talking about someone else, or could it be... me?  

I wanted to ask, to seek clarity in his words, but fear held me back. Fear of ruining the fragile balance we had just found, fear of discovering that I might not be the one he longed for after all. "Why do you say that?" I finally managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper. 

Uncertainty coloured my words, a mix of hope and trepidation clouding my thoughts. Ben sighed, his gaze dropping momentarily before meeting mine again. "I don't know," he admitted softly.  

"I guess... I'm just not sure if she sees me the way I see her. "His vulnerability touched me deeply, and I struggled to find the right words to ease his doubts. "Maybe she does," I offered tentatively, my heart pounding with the weight of unspoken feelings.  

"Maybe she's just waiting for you to tell her how you feel." Ben's lips curved into a small, rueful smile. "Maybe," he murmured, his tone laced with uncertainty. "But what if she doesn't? What if I ruin everything?"  

I shook my head gently, reaching out to grasp his hand in mine. "You won't know unless you try," I replied earnestly, my voice steady despite the nervous flutter in my stomach. "And... and if she's worth it, she'll understand." 

He stayed quiet for a while, making it very clear to me he wasn’t talking about me, so to ease the awkward situation I ask him. 

"What is she like?" curiosity tinged with a growing sense of unease. Ben's expression softened, a small smile playing on his lips as he began to describe her. "Well," he started slowly, his voice gentle yet filled with conviction, "she's kind, caring, always there when I need her. She's smart, funny, and she has this way of making everything better just by being around."  

As Ben spoke, my heart skipped a beat. "She's beautiful," Ben continued softly, his gaze lingering on mine. "Not just on the outside, but inside too. She has this... this warmth about her that draws people in."  

I swallowed hard, my mind racing with conflicting emotions. Beautiful, of course... why did I even thought it was me. "Is that... how she makes you feel?" I ventured, my voice barely above a whisper, afraid yet desperate yet trying to be a good friend.  

Ben's eyes softened further, a fondness shining through as he met my gaze with sincerity. "She makes me feel alive," he confessed quietly. "Happy, understood, like I can be myself without fear of judgment. She's... she's everything to me."  

Silence hung between us, heavy with unspoken words and the raw intensity of our shared revelation. "She sounds... amazing." I smile shyly. Without a word, Ben moved closer, his gaze never leaving mine. “You are.”  

I felt my heart pounding, a mixture of excitement and nervous anticipation coursing through me. He leaned in, and before I could fully process what was happening, his lips met mine in a gentle, tentative kiss.  

The world seemed to stand still in that moment. The warmth of his touch, the softness of his lips, and the electricity that passed between us all combined into a sensation that was both overwhelming and incredibly right.  

It was as if everything we had ever shared, every moment of our friendship, had been leading up to this. For a second, I was too stunned to react, but then I melted into the kiss, my arms wrapping around him instinctively, pulling him closer.  

Ben's hands gently cupped my face, holding me close as the kiss deepened, filled with emotions we had both kept hidden for so long. "I've wanted to do that for a long time," Ben whispered, his voice husky with emotion. 

I opened my eyes, staring into his perfect green ones. Instinctively I pulled him closed, asking for another kiss, but he held back."Y/N I need to tell you something." I looked confused. "I eh, enlisted in the army, I'm leaving tomorrow."

My heart dropped, just when he confessed his love for me, like I dreamed of since I was a kid, just when I had him back after a year of silence and heartbreaks and now I'm losing him again.

But all I could do was nod and pull him closer, no longer wanting to waste our time talking, but needing to feel him closer. Ben answers me with a heart stopping kiss filled with passion I didn’t even knew excited.  

As our lips were locked on each other’s, his hands started to wander over my nightgown. His hand wandered gently over my back, a shiver of excitement coursed through me. His touch was tentative, yet it sent waves of warmth and anticipation throughout my body.  

The intimacy of the moment was electric, charged with a mixture of newfound desire and the deep bond we shared. His fingers traced light patterns along my spine, and I felt myself leaning closer, drawn to him in a way that felt both thrilling and natural.  

Each brush of his hand seemed to ignite a spark, heightening the intensity of our connection. His lips moved to my neck. "Ben," I whispered breathless, my voice trembling with a mix of excitement and nervousness. I could feel his breath against my skin, his presence overwhelming in the most wonderful way. 

"Is this okay?" he asked softly, his eyes searching mine for reassurance. I nodded, a smile tugging at my lips. "Yes," I replied, my heart racing. With that simple affirmation, the barriers between us seemed to dissolve entirely.  

Ben's hand continued its gentle exploration, his touch growing bolder as our mutual desire became more evident. The sensation was exhilarating, a heady mix of anticipation and the deep emotional connection we had built over the years.  

As we held each other close, the world outside faded away, leaving just the two of us in this intimate, shared moment. His hands were gentle yet assured, exploring the curve of my back and the line of my waist. 

I found myself leaning into him, craving more of the sensations he was awakening within me. Our breathing became synchronized, heavy with unspoken emotions and a shared desire that had finally found its voice. 

The movements became more fluid, more natural, as we let ourselves get lost in the moment. I could feel Ben's heartbeat against my chest as he cover my body with his, his breath rapid and strong, mirroring my own. "Y/N," Ben whispered, his voice husky with emotion.  

"Tell me when to stop." His words hung in the air, a mix of desire and concern. My heart raced, the excitement of the moment making my pulse quicken. I looked into his eyes, seeing the depth of his feelings mirrored in his gaze.  

"I trust you, Ben," I whispered back, my voice trembling slightly. "But I'll tell you if I need to." Ben nodded, his expression softening with understanding and respect. He leaned in, capturing my lips in another kiss that was both tender and passionate.  

His hands continued their exploration, moving over my breasts, kneading over the very light fabric. a soft shaky breath left my lips. "Is this okay?" Ben asked softly, pulling back slightly to look into my eyes. "Yes," I replied, my voice filled with sincerity. "More than okay."  

As Ben's lips moved to my neck once more, a soft moan escaped my lips, unbidden and filled with the raw intensity of the moment. His kisses were gentle yet electrifying, each touch sending waves of sensation through my body.  

I tilted my head slightly, giving him better access, my fingers tangling in his hair. Wanting to pull him closer.

The warmth of his touch and the intoxicating feeling of his lips on my skin. I felt his hands trace a path along my sides, his touch both tender and filled with a growing sense of urgency.  

Each kiss, each caress, seemed to feed a fire. “Oh Ben," I moaned, my voice breathless and filled with a mix of desire and nervous anticipation. He paused, lifting his head to meet my gaze, his eyes dark with emotion.  

"Too much?" he murmured, his voice low and husky. I shook my head slightly, a small smile tugging at my lips. "No," I replied softly. "It's perfect. Don't stop." A smile playing at the corners of his mouth.  

As Ben’s hand travelled down my waist to my thighs, a mix of excitement and uncertainty washed over me. I instinctively held him back, my fingers gripping his wrist gently.  

Ben paused immediately, looking up at me with concern and respect in his eyes. "I'm sorry, it's ok. " I mumbled before letting go of his wrist. “Are you sure, I can stop if you want.” he asked again, very softly, his voice filled with genuine care and hesitation.  

I took a deep breath, my heart pounding in my chest. I could see the need and longing in his eyes, a reflection of my own desires. After a moment's contemplation, I nodded, giving him a small, reassuring smile.  

“I’m sure,” I whispered, letting go of his wrist and allowing his hand to continue its journey. Ben’s touch was gentle and patient, his fingers tracing a path down to my thighs. He moved slowly, his eyes never leaving mine, ensuring I was comfortable and at ease with every step. 

As Ben's hand moved between my legs, a surge of raw need coursed through me. His fingers brushed against me before he moved the fabric of my panties aside I gasped softly, the sensation both overwhelming and deeply intimate.  

I gripped his biceps as I felt him moving slowly inside me. Unable to understand the feeling that washed over me. I only knew I needed more of this. "Y/N," Ben whispered, his voice husky with desire. "Are you okay?"  

I nodded, unable to find the words to express the whirlwind of emotions I was experiencing. Instead, I reached out, pulling him closer, my fingers tangling in his hair. "Yes," I breathed, my voice trembling. "I need you like this." 

With that admission, something shifted between us. Ben's touch grew bolder, more assured, as he responded to my need with a fervour that matched my own. His fingers moved with a skilful precision, eliciting soft moans from my lips as he explored this new and intimate territory. 

As the sensations intensified, I felt myself reaching a feeling I had never experienced before. My body responded instinctively to Ben's touch, arching towards him, seeking more of the pleasure he was giving me.  

The intimacy of the moment was almost overwhelming, but it was also the most exhilarating experience of my life. "Ben," I gasped, my voice filled with a mix of urgency and gratitude. He looked at me, his eyes dark with emotion, and I knew he knew how I felt.  

"I'm here," he murmured, his voice a soothing balm to my heightened senses. "I've got you, let go, it's ok." As Ben continued to move between my legs, I surrendered to the sensations, allowing myself to be completely and utterly present in this shared experience.  

My first orgasm felt out of this world, not really understanding what happened to me, but loving the fact Ben shared it with me. 

-- 

Ben’s POV 

As I felt Y/N's body respond to my touch, her soft moans and whispered breaths filling the room, I was overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. Her need mirrored my own, a raw and unspoken desire that had been building for years.  

"Ben," she gasped, her voice filled with urgency and something deeper, an invitation, a plea for more. I looked into her eyes, searching for any sign of hesitation. Instead, I found a reflection of my own longing, her gaze filled with trust and a need that matched my own. 

"Are you sure?" I asked, my voice husky with emotion, my heart pounding in my chest. Her nod was small but resolute, her eyes never leaving mine. "Yes," she whispered, her voice trembling but firm.  

"I want all of you, tonight." The weight of her words hit me like a tidal wave, a mix of exhilaration and responsibility. I wanted nothing more than to give her everything she asked for, to make this moment as perfect as possible.  

I leaned in, capturing her lips in a kiss that was both passionate and filled with the depth of my feelings for her. As our kiss deepened, my hands moved over her body, exploring every curve and contour.  

Her responses, the way she arched towards me, the soft sounds she made, only fuelled my desire. I wanted to memorize every detail, to etch this moment into my memory forever. Her eyes shone with emotion, and she pulled me closer, her fingers tangling in my hair. 

With a sense of reverence, I began to undress her, my movements slow and deliberate, wanting to save every moment. She did the same, her hands trembling slightly as she helped remove my clothes.

The vulnerability of the moment was palpable, but it was also incredibly beautiful. When we were finally skin to skin, I paused, taking in the sight of her, the way the soft light played over her body, highlighting every curve.  

She was breathtaking, and I felt a surge of gratitude and awe that this incredible person wanted me as much as I wanted her. "You're beautiful," I whispered, my voice filled with awe.  

She blushed, a shy smile playing at her lips, and in that moment, I knew there was no going back. As I deepened out, the sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and a deep, abiding connection that went beyond the physical.  

Every movement, every touch, was filled with love and a sense of unity that I had never experienced before. The world outside faded away, leaving only the two of us, she felt differently than my pervious experiences, better, softer, warmer.

And as we moved together, I could feel Y/N's body responding to every touch, every kiss, the tension building in her with each passing moment.  

Her breath came in quick, shallow gasps, and her fingers gripped my shoulders, her nails digging in just slightly as the intensity of the moment grew. "Ben," she moaned, her voice trembling with a mix of urgency and need. I could see the anticipation in her eyes, a beautiful blend of vulnerability and desire.  

I kissed her deeply, feeling the connection between us strengthen, our movements becoming more synchronized, more fluid. When she reached her peak again, it was like watching a wave crest and crash, her entire body tensing for a moment before releasing in a shuddering, blissful wave of pleasure.  

Her back arched, pressing her body against mine, and a soft, breathless moan escaped her lips, a sound filled with pure ecstasy. Her eyes closed, her lips parted as she rode the waves of her climax, her fingers tightening their grip on my shoulders.  

I could feel the tremors running through her, the way her body pulsed with each surge of pleasure, and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever witnessed. As the intensity of her orgasm began to subside, her body relaxed, melting into mine.  

Her breaths came in soft, uneven gasps, and she opened her eyes to look at me, a radiant smile playing at her lips. "That was..." she began, her voice trailing off, unable to find the words to describe the overwhelming sensation. "Good" I replied softly, brushing a strand of hair from her face, my heart swelling with love and admiration for her.  

"I felt it too." Ben rolled beside her, but she knew he wasn't satisfied like she was, not yet. His eyes didn't have the same spark she had, instinctively she straddled him. Ben saw her fully naked body on top of him, admiring her while she moved.  

Her hands pressed down on his chest while she moved. His hands helped her, guiding her. His heart pounded in his chest, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he surrendered to the intense sensations coursing through him. When he finally reached his peak, it was a release of pent-up passion and love.  

He felt a wave of euphoria wash over him, his body trembling with the intensity of his climax.

It wasn't just physical pleasure; it was a deep emotional connection with Y/N that heightened the experience to a profound level. He held her in his arms, He pressed kisses to her forehead. 

-- 

Many years later 

As Ben stood in the vault he had in his room at Vought, he was reading an old diary, with a handwriting he could recognise out of a thousand different ones.  

“I never felt more alive than that night. Ben and I made love, real love. He made me a woman that night. I will never stop loving him. I knew he would leave in the morning, but our connection was made, built to survive anything. Even the war.”  

His lips trembled moving to the last page of the journal.  

“Ben was supposed to come home today, home from war. I guess his plans got delayed. He believes this will make his dad proud, I wished he was satisfied with the idea of me being proud of him for who he is.  

But I accepted it, knowing he will return, and we can finally start our life together outside of the shadows of this cold house like we talked about that night while he held me in his arms. 

He hasn’t written as much as he used to, but I know he is working hard and I'm proud! I just hope he’ll be home soon, so I can hold him in my arms all night.”   

He could see how the rest of the journal was empty, ripped out. But he didn’t need to read to know what followed.

He never returned home to her. He failed her.

“What are you reading?” Ben rolled his eyes, sighing, hearing that woman’s voice. He turned to Countess. “None of your business.” He answered putting the diary back with the other artefacts he placed there. But Crimson Countess didn’t give up so easily.  

“Come on babe, show me?” When she wanted to reach for the journal, he grabbed her wrist hurtful tight. “What part of not your business don’t you understand?” Ben growled. “If you ever touch any of this stuff, I'll fucking kill you, understood?”  

All she could do was nod. “Now, why are you here?” She looked in his eyes seeing nothing but blank hatred, knowing this only made him more dangerous, “Edgar, he’s waiting for you to start the meeting.”

With a low growl he left the safe and walked with her to the conference room. While walking down the hall he couldn’t help but feel that part of him, part of his being, and his heart was locked away.

Locked away in that safe, together with what little he had left of Y/N.  

--

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[hamliet]

what do you think of hamlet and juilet as characters? what is their purpose and role in the story?

Oh boy, two of my favorites! In case my usename wasn't a tell haha. Here's something I wrote in the past.

Apparently they both have "whiney teen" reputations now? They're both not. At all.  

Juliet is a teenage girl who has grown up in a war zone and comes alive with love. She, like Romeo, chooses to focus on love when they've only known bloodshed. Like, they are brave kids, not whiney cowards. 

I've written a lot on her; she's one of my favorite characters in all of literature. She's a deliberate deconstruction of the idealized woman of the literary day, the character who changes the most in the play, and her faithfulness and loyalty are stated over and over again, including in the play's closing lines, to be her defining characteristics. That she's reduced to a flighty, insecure needs-a-man, hysterical image is textually wrong. Juliet is That Girl. 

Also, unlike every other Shakespearean tragedy, Romeo and especially Juliet die as the best versions of themselves, not as a parody of what they started out as like, say, Othello or Hamlet...

Ah, Hamlet. I love him for how tragic his arc is--to go from someone who is trying his best in horrible circumstances to still be a good person and honor those he loves to being someone who has unwittingly helped destroy everyone he loves, and become the murderer he desperately didn't want to be.

Hamlet is a college-aged kid who comes back over break to find his dad is dead and his mom married his uncle. Idk about you but I think that'd give anyone a complex. Not to mention his source of comforts all turn on him (except Horatio); two of his school friends spy on him, and his girlfriend is ordered by her dad to play it cool instead of, you know, be there for him. He wouldn't have needed a ghost to end up in a mental health crisis contemplating "to be or not to be."

Despite it all, he still wants to slow down and think. He doesn't want to do the wrong thing. Problem is he delays too long--because he does not want to be a murderer--and when he does act, it's sloppy and he murders the father of the girl he loves by mistake.  

But lest you think I'm throwing anyone under the bus, I'm not... well, besides Claudius, Polonius who is a bad dad, and Rozencrantz and Guildenstern who were bad friends. Hamlet's mom and girlfriend though? 

Gertrude's decision to marry Claudius--while Shakespeare never gets into her interior world, there are a few possibilities and they mostly looks terrible and contradictory. The Ghost accuses Gertrude of adultery before his murder thanks to the hasty elopement, but never accuses her of murder and even tells Hamlet to "leave her to Heaven." If Gertrude really was cheating, then she willingly marries someone she has to know is a murderer (unless she's beyond dumb).

Or, let's think pragmatically according to the day. If Gertrude had not married Claudius instantly (most probably she seduced him), how long do we think she and Hamlet would stay alive? Because Hamlet's existence is a threat to Claudius's reign even by Denmark's elective monarchy of the day (plus he was abroad when the murder happens). By marrying Claudius Gertrude may be literally trying to save herself and her son--only issue is, no one sees it like that, and how to explain that to her son, who's been raised in a patriarchal society? 

Ophelia doesn't have much choice, either. Women's sexuality being considered "property" of a man is very much at play as a motif in the play, and given the implications (pretty strong, I'd say) that Hamlet and Ophelia were indeed sleeping together, their hands were pretty tied. Ophelia pulling back (essentially ghosting him, heh) confuses him especially when he's at his most vulnerable, and then he hits her where she's most vulnerable: all his insults to her are sexually charged, essentially accusing her of not being a virgin, when in reality she probably isn't because of him. And that's before he kills her father by mistake. Once Hamlet murders Polonius, Ophelia also has to deal with the fact that she's probably never getting married to anyone, ever. No wonder she also goes insane.

Hamlet laments that Denmark is all corrupted at the start of the play, and the royal court of Elsinore most of all. Which it is, and unfortunately he cannot escape this corruption.

[roseworth]

Wait, I’m confused do you or do you not ship Jayrose?

short answer: usually no but ill ship it when its funny

long answer:

most of the reason i dont personally like it is because i see rose as a lesbian and i dont enjoy any ships of her with men (its fine if other people do! its just not my thing), plus i hc jason as aroace so im also not very interested in jason ships unless im in a very specific mood (the "specific mood" being jaykyle lmao. every few months i get really obsessed with jaykyle for a few days then i forget about it for the next few months. then the cycle repeats)

another reason i dont like it is that i am constantly in fear of rose becoming Jason's Girlfriend in comics and online. like how babs and kory are both seen as Dick's Girlfriend (also steph and tim to a lesser degree atm) and people refuse to engage with their character not in reference to their boyfriend, so writers have them constantly mention their relationship with dick even in comics that hes not in (like batgirls having dick show up randomly/birds of prey (1999) having babs talk about dick alllll the time, or kory in the current blue beetle run constantly mentioning dick even though theyre not dating rn and jaime has never even met dick). and thats somewhat starting to happen with rose where shes only in comics that jason is in and if jasons not in it then jason gets mentioned (see: catwoman #62). and obv as a rose fan i really don’t want that to happen because she’s such a great character outside of jason and i don’t want her to be reduced to just who she is with him. this is mostly me overreacting, especially since she had a miniseries just last year that jason was not in or mentioned at all. but being a fan of a female comic character means that most people are not willing to talk about her without mentioning her relationship with a man, and its even worse when the man is a batboy so i’m constantly on alert

so basically thats why it puts a bad taste in my mouth, but i have no issue with the ship itself or anyone who ships it!

i think jason & rose are extremely compatible. i see them as bffs but i genuinely do think about them in a relationship a lot even though i dont necessarily ship it. im rotating both of them in my mind 24/7 so i think about how i think they would act in a relationship & how it would ideally be done in canon. but i just dont trust any comic writers to actually respect rose

the reason i said that jayrose is one of the only jason ships that matters is because most jason ships are soooo bad... i wont name names but some jay ships rely on one or both of them being extremely out of character for it to work at all. in terms of jason ships, jayrose is one of the best just because a) an in-character jason AND an in-character rose would genuinely get along really well and b) none of the stories that they've been in have really been THAT out of character (with the exception of gotham war imo, which i went into here so i wont beat a dead horse. dceased was pretty bad too but that’s tom taylor’s fault it has nothing to do with jayrose). also unlike many other jason ships, a good portion of the people that ship jayrose are the ones who actually read the comics so it tends to be an actual Nuanced and Accurate portrayal. ofc there are many exceptions to that but as of rn jayrose is not one of the Certified Batfam Ships (you know those ships that are the only ships that fanon fans know about so whenever they want to give their fav a boyfriend they shove em with another character they know nothing about. like dick/wally where people say "well they were friends in yja thats enough for me" and they havent read anything with wally in it besides dick/wally fanfic and they dont care about him outside of his relationship with dick), so theyre somewhat safe. but unfortunately because of titans tv its also shipped by The Worst Man You've Ever Met so. you win some you lose some ig

it bothers me when people claim that they dont like jayrose because they "dont like what it does to rose" ???? literally when has jayrose ever been bad for rose. her worst out of character moments have nothing to do with jason in any way. she doesnt get sidelined for him and she doesnt get reduced to a damsel in distress or something. its annoying to me that people feel the need to make up an excuse for why they dont like the ship so they use rose as a scapegoat and pretend that theyre doing it for her when they actually dont know anything about her. just say you dont like it and move on! you dont need to justify it you can just not like it

so for the most part i have no issue with it, which is why i tend to mention it when i think its funny. theres a lot of jayrose content that i enjoy bc theyre fun together and i like seeing them interact! i dont ship them but i think its a good ship <3

however. despite all that i still have more thoughts. im playing devil's advocate against myself and disagreeing with everything i just said

because also. its kind of not in character for them to date. i like where they're at right now because theyre kind of in a casual thing, like theyre hanging out and having sex in the bushes but theyre not Dating. theyre not in a serious relationship that we've seen (other than gotham war but im not acknowledging that), so i like where they're at right now. hanging out, rose flirting aggressively and jason giving her next to nothing in return because he cant flirt, and probably having sex off panel*. i think theyre in a good place at the moment and i dont want it to change from exactly where it is right now in canon. *inside my head theyre actually just pals that pretend to flirt because they think its funny. they do not have sex off panel and they dont want to but the insane flirting is an inside joke that no one else thinks is funny. but thats just me

because neither of them has really shown any interest in dating (when written in character! so we're not counting rhato). the most "interested" jason has ever been in someone is minor flirting with donna in countdown. but he did not make a move on her and repeatedly said throughout that book that he was only focused on the mission and did not care about anything else. he doesnt seem to actually be interested in a relationship with anyone, partially because hes extremely emotionally closed off (to a degree. he is VERY open with his emotions, but hes not the kind of person that lets people into his life easily) and also because he just has other shit to think about. no sex only vengeance.

and ROSE. she is the most closed off person you will ever see. she will have casual sex in an effort to suppress all emotions (which i could talk about extensively. but thats not what this post is about), but she doesnt date people. the only people that she was close to being in a relationship with were eddie and hosun. with eddie, it was all flirting, emotional moments, and her pushing him away. she genuinely liked him (arguably. i could go into how its comphet but that is once again not what this is about), but she was closed off and didnt want to date him because she has so many issues. she tried to make him jealous and did her aggressive flirting thing like she does with jason, but she did not want to have an actual relationship with him. and with hosun, she once again (arguably) genuinely liked him, but she did not tell him that. she MARRIED HIM and still didnt talk to him about her feelings. he liked her and was interested in a relationship with her, but she did not want to embrace that and didnt make any effort to have a real relationship with him outside of agreeing to stay married to him after slade was arrested. she doesnt have any interest in actually dating the guys she likes, and shes so emotionally repressed that she will not make any effort to even be close with them

i hate phantom-one and i hate the idea of rose dating phantom-one but. i genuinely think their "relationship" is pretty in character for her (brisson understands her so well), because at most they have some nice conversations. shes somewhat interested in him so she'll come onto him a bit (no aggressive flirting but still), and she opens up to him when shes at her absolute lowest, then she leaves. shes more focused on what stormwatch is doing and she shows little interest in phantom-one during missions, but she likes him and oscillates between ignoring him and hitting on him. so.. out of the relationships rose has in recent canon..... i could make the argument that rose/phantom-one is more in character for her than jayrose even though i like jayrose a LOT more than i like rose/phantom-one

so yeah. its in character for them to get along. but i DONT think its in character for them to be in a serious relationship. which is another part of the reason im kinda skeptical about their relationship in canon, just because i dont want it to be an actual Relationship since it doesnt really make sense for them to actually date given... everything about them.

but again thats all just my opinion! ship whatever you want we're all just playing with dolls

[loverboy-havocboy]

*slides in a home-made cookie* Any headcanons or info about the characters included in the aliit verse you're able to share? Whether it be the main gang or anyone else?

i spent hours telling @the-starry-seas about the boys (mostly sinker) last night, so here are some thoughts from that convo as well as some fresh ones. some of them are also from rolling the blorbos around with @executeness

sinker has pretty severe adhd and his favorite fidget toy (besides boost) is one of those 3D printed slugs. it probably has a normal person name like james or something so he can say he needs to "fiddle with james".

boost got into a lot of fights in high school. he had a lot of rage after his parents died and he used it on anyone who tried to bully sinker or comet (or really probably anyone - i see boost being the kind of guy to step in even if he doesn't know the kid getting bullied).

before meeting gregor, comet was a sleep-until-the-afternoon type of guy, then he adjusted his sleep schedule so it would be easier to get up closer to gregor's time whenever gregor was on leave. he's still not an early riser by any means, but those few extra hours with gregor when he's home mean the world to him.

wolffe and gregor's relationship is the definition of "you came." / "you called."

sinker doesn't try to set his dates up with boost, but if they're not at least a little bit interesting in him, i think sinker is less likely to pursue a relationship. related to this is that boost loves befriending sinker's boyfriends - i mean, they share an interest in boost's absolute favorite thing in the world, after all.

sinker is a he/they in my mind though it is not canon. i could also see boost using he/they, but in a lack-of-gender way unlike sinker's abundance-of-gender way.

people have a tendency to underestimate sinker because of his bleached blonde hair and neurodivergence (they assume he's "ditzy"), but he's incredibly intelligent and he uses their assumptions to his favor.

i headcanon thorn as having had metoidioplasty.

echo uses a wheelchair on days that his pain is too much or he just can't be bothered with his prosthetics.

this can't go in the story, but the dominos and the pack are all stoners on some level To Me. echo and thorn have chronic pain from their injuries and the pack just seem like they smoked a bunch of weed behind the mall in highschool.

gregor's favorite music is rock, especially from the 60's-70's.

comet's favorite band is placebo. brian molko was a big influence on his gender expression. he also loves david bowie - both his music and his role in labyrinth.

sinker is a model so he sometimes gets to take clothes he wears for shoots, but his favorite pieces are things he's bought from small businesses/artists. clothes that are hand painted or beaded or given zest in some other way. he likes supporting them and he also likes wearing their love around and looking hot as fuck while he does it.

the pack were not normal about my chemical romance in high school. sinker's favorite album of theirs is danger days, boost's favorite is bullets, and comet could never choose between them.

tupma are unwritten at this point but here are some for them:

background is they met in college. dogma is a he/they transmasc, he cracks tup's egg and helps her become comfortable in her identity as a she/they/he* transfem. *she does get comfortable reacquainting with he/him pronouns eventually, in a "he's my girlfriend" type of way. after college, they moved to keldabe (mandalorian nyc where the rest of the aliit gang lives) together.

tup has 3 sisters and 2 moms, so as the only "man" in the family, their coming out as transfem is the funniest thing they could've done.

dogma is autistic. his special interests are bugs (especially spiders), and idk i feel like he's a minecraft and animal crossing man.

dogma has a tarantula named daenerys. tup saved up the money for him to pick her out and all the stuff she would need as a gift. tup may or may not have a pet lizard of some kind.

dogma's parents are divorced, his mom remarried and he got a little brother who's in elementary school now who likes to hunt for bugs with him.

tup sews and paints as hobbies. she likes to alter clothes she thrifts, and also makes dogma patches for his shorts and jackets to add a little spice.

i'm really going now but i think i will leave it here. thank you so much for asking, my dear, this was really fun 💖💖💖

[kalegreeneyes]

not a fic idea but needs to get out of me bc remadora bugs me so bad and i have to explain it in a way that makes any sense at all-

in the canon/atyd universe remus and tonks get together out of convenience. they’re quite good friends, she reminds him of sirius a good deal and he reminds her of a girlfriend she’s lost in the war as well. she wants a kid, and asks remus if he’d like to have one with her. he thinks about it, and at first is extremely reluctant. between the war and him being a werewolf and his still fresh grief over sirius’ death, it seems so stupid. so stupid. but in the end, logic doesn’t come into it. He loves tonks, his best friend at this point despite the age difference, and he figures he’s going to die in this war so he won’t be around to fuck the kid up. it’s horrible, but he knows she’s up for it if he goes. he never imagines that she could die too, that she wouldn’t stay out of battle. But she’s so like sirius- he should have known. at the point that she was pregnant, after a very awkward night of trying to have sex that ended up in remus crying alone in the bathroom when it was done (he felt like he had done something awful to sirius, but he hoped that he would understand- it was only reproductive.), they decided it was best to get married. it just made much more sense legally, and neither of them had prospects to get married for love, both of them being gay and all. Only their closest circle knew that about them, anyway. they kept it to themselves, mostly, because it wasn’t relevant. tonks was pregnant, they loved each other, they got married- all of this was true, who cared if there weren’t any romantic or sexual feelings involved? as long as they were on the same page, and they were- it didn’t matter. besides, remus knew he would never love again. not like that. not when he’d had the brightest star in the sky- not when he’d had to watch it burn out. he knew tonks felt similarly about her late girlfriend, but she was so young. He had hope for her yet. as far as making her happy, he could give her a child, and hope to god that that would be enough.

in the end, teddy had to grow up without his parents, but he had andromeda to tell him about them. and he had harry around to do the same. and he had grant, in the end, to start filling in the blanks that others wouldn’t tell him. grant said they didn’t know, but teddy knew that wasn’t true when he’d gone and asked about it later. they both had just smiled softly and said something along the lines of it not being their story to tell. teddy wished they had. Being queer, he felt closer to his parents than ever. he still thought it was gravely irresponsible to have a baby with a war going on, that maybe his dad should have learned from lily and james, but nothing could be done about it now. andromeda said that war makes people crazy- people grasp for happiness wherever they can. She said that his parents were just searching for that happiness and found it in him.

so no, remus and nymphadora were not in love. they did not suddenly become straight or realize some life changing bisexuality in the year after sirius and her girlfriend had died. They did not find the love of their lives in one another, but they did find a soulmate. soulmates are not just lovers. they had needed each other in the end, someone who understood exactly what the other felt. the hollow, soul sucking feeling of losing the one person you never wanted to lose. the feeling of wanting to grasp at creation in the midst of all that destruction.

they were not in love, but they did love. and that, even if not everyone understood it, was more than enough.

[mdhwrites]

Wenclair Scream AU Concept

So the story would start with Wednesday’s first kill at Nevermore. She goes to the Weathervane late one night to talk to Tyler. She wants to discuss those ‘signals’ he’s been getting and how he seems to want to get closer to her. How he won’t leave her alone. She tells him to shut his eyes and lean in. And that’s when he gets an old radio antenna in his chest. “You wanted to have a clear signal from me. Now you can get a clear signal from anything.” Tyler steps back, talking about how she’ll regret this as he tries to transform but she knew what she was doing. She severed at least one of the major arteries leading in and out of the heart. She’ll be nice though, she claims as she pulls out a knife. She’ll help push him along. She hasn’t ever gotten to carve a living corpse after all.

It’s as she slices him that the bell to the Weathervane rings and Wednesday turns, her eyes widening at the person in the doorway. And from there we get the proper story. People keep dying and Ghost face is born. To a lot, the order seems almost random besides them being Nevermore students. Bianca first, then Xavier, then Kent and Divina until Ajax and Yoko are the only two left in Wednesday and Enid’s friend group. Each butchered after mysterious calls with a precision that has most suspecting Wednesday. It’s only at this point that Ajax, in the roll of the guy who knows horror movies, points out the connection: They’re all people connected to Wednesday and Enid. The only question really is who they think the main target is as the killer moves up their list. Who needs to be the one used as bait because they’re their final target. ...Which gets everyone to point at Ajax since most suspect it’s Wednesday so between him and Enid, he’s definitely the one in danger because of Enid’s old crush on him. They make a party to lure Wednesday out, keeping Ajax and Enid in the same room as best as they can as they two mostly likely to die. At least, until Enid asks about the possibility of two killers. What if Yoko and Wednesday are working together, like in those weird, campy horror movies? Ajax, realizing his mistake, runs off to find Yoko. At least, until he’s called by Ghostface and the chase throughout the house is on. One problem: They are up against a Siren and a Gorgon. Ajax is fixed by the mask and Enid wearing shades to help avoid direct sight of the snakes. Yoko, who Wednesday is supposed to be going after, is a different problem, and eventually there’s a scream from upstairs that she got her! Enid, Ajax and Yoko all run up, even as Ajax thinks it may be a trap, but it is indeed Wednesday. Enid begs for an explanation, for her to be allowed to move enough for that, but Yoko isn’t having it. She pulls out a gun and time seems to slow for all of them. Yoko wants her girlfriend back after all and if she isn’t getting that, she’ll take revenge instead. BANG!

The noise is enough to shock Wednesday out of the spell before she hits her knees. It’s not because of a bullet wound though. It’s because Enid was the one who took the bullet for her. And it’s time for the reveal! Enid had never seen Wednesday as happy and full of life as she did that night with Tyler. She wanted to hold onto that version of Wednesday tight so offered to help her in anyway she wanted or needed if she was going to kill again. They could be a deadly duo! A killing couple! This... Freaked Wednesday out. Enid was supposed to never know about this side of her, let alone approve of it. So here was her plan: Sabotage their relationship. Force Enid’s hand in stopping her. Hence why she killed people consistently more important to Enid so that eventually the werewolf would betray her. Each kill had been sloppier and sloppier because of that after all. Even to the point where Wednesday didn’t put her earplugs in for this one to ‘up the challenge’ as she’d put it to Enid. Enid, bleeding on the floor, just says that she always loved Wednesday and would do anything to make her smile. Wednesday shuts her eyes, reaches into her pocket so she can put her earplugs in and then stands up as she looks at Yoko and Ajax. She then asks, “You know, in most horror movies, the killer always seems to become less competent right at the end. Tell me, what happens though when the killer has been intentionally holding back and is now on a time limit?” After this, Wednesday goes to see Enid in the infirmary. She says that the killings were actually blamed on Yoko and Ajax and Wednesday is being portrayed as a hero. After all, Yoko’s fingerprints are all over the gun and, well... Wednesday may have made sure to get some of Ajax’s prints on her knife. Enid was the one shot after all and while Wednesday is unscarred, she’s getting a pass for having had to fight for her life.

And so happy ending! Wenclair is together and they’ll figure out their next murders another time. Wednesday is just ready to be with her girlfriend while she recovers and doesn’t want her put in harm’s way again. Not unless it’s necessary. After all, the only life that matters to Wednesday is Enid’s.

========= I don’t know how great this is as I don’t really do scary movies much. ^^; I’ve never even watched any of the Scream movies actually, though I’ve seen reviews for all of them. Just wanted to throw my two cents into this ring though but I doubt I’ll be doing much with it unfortunately. I have too many other projects, depression and sickness to deal with right now. *sigh* If you want to keep up with my stuff though, follow me here, maybe ask questions about this AU? And you can also join my community Discord!

No matter what though, have a wonderful day and see you next tale.

[albrightmacie]

☆ –– (grace van dien, she/her, female) who is MACIE ALBRIGHT anyways? ew. you don’t know about SHE/HER, we’ll bet you want to. they’re feeling TWENTY-SEVEN and TAKING PICTURES AROUND THE CITY feels like a perfect night to them. rumor has it they’re OBSESSIVE and UNPREDICTABLE because they care, but they’re also OPTIMISTIC and BENEVOLENT in the best way. SHE works to make a little money as a(n) INFANT TEACHER AT LITTLE HANDS. they’ve rented a place on cornelia street in the form of BROWNSTONE #2. STYLE (muse a) is the song they could dance to the beat of forevermore. 

STATS:

FULL NAME:  macie renee albright

NICKNAME(S):  mace, cc, ma

AGE:  twenty-seven

DATE OF BIRTH:  february 14th

PLACE OF BIRTH:  toms river, new jersey

CURRENT LOCATION:  new york city, new york

ETHNICITY:  caucasian;  english, swedish, dutch, german, irish

GENDER:  cis-female

PRONOUNS:  she  /  her

ORIENTATION:  bisexual

OCCUPATION:  infant teacher at little hands

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS:  brownstone #2

FINANCIAL STATUS:  middle class

SPOKEN LANGUAGES:  english, spanish, french, american sign language

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, ETC:

FACECLAIM:  grace van dien

HAIR COLOR AND STYLE:  dirty blonde, usually worn straight but sometimes in a ponytail

EYE COLOR:  blue

EYESIGHT: perfect vision

HEIGHT:  5′3″

WEIGHT:  105-110  lbs

BODY AND BUILD:  slim, toned

TATTOOS:  a small bird on her upper ribs

PIERCINGS:  none

SIGNATURE SCENT:  dolce and gabbana light blue

HEALTH:

MENTAL DISORDER(S):  anxiety

SLEEPING HABITS:  hardly sleeps. maybe gets five hours a night if lucky

EATING HABITS: snack queen but tries to eat mostly protein and healthy but has a tendency to veer towards sweets

ADDICTIONS:  none

DRUG USE: aderall when needed

ALCOHOL USE:  social drinker but still only has one or two glasses at max

PERSONALITY:

MBTI:  the defender (isfj-t)

POSITIVE TRAITS:  supportive, observant, reliable, enthusiastic, hard working

NEGATIVE TRAITS:  stubborn, overly humble, non-changing, closed off feelings wise

HABITS:  anxious rocking back and forth, humming songs, running hands up and down her legs

FAMILY, RELATIONSHIPS, ETC:

MOTHER:  victoria albright (43, alive)

FATHER:  robert albright (45, alive)

OTHER FAMILY MEMBER(S): savannah kirkman (27, cousin, alive)

PET(S):  binx (4 months, black cat)

BACKGROUND:

(more like tidbits but ya know)

macie was born to a sophomore who happened to fall in love with a senior in high school. their love wasn’t conventional but it was their story to tell. while both sets of parents were not happy, they accepted the fate and celebrated the new life that came to be only nine months later.

once robert finished high school, he proposed to victoria and they had a summer wedding before she went back to school junior year. her parents kept macie while robert worked and victoria finished school. fast forward two years later, victoria was graduating high school and robert got his associates degree in business management.

they moved to new york city where they got a small apartment. this is where macie spent the next fifteen years growing up. this is where she had her first heartbreak, her first kiss, and where she learned that love was a fickle matter of the heart.

after her high school graduation, she got a scholarship to nyu where she attended classes for child development. a few years later, she got her degree and started working at little hands. she has gone through every class of children there but fell in love with the infant classroom where she has been for the last five years. she just recently moved into a brownstone and is loving everything about her life in this moment.

CONNECTIONS:

ex boyfriend/girlfriend: could have been a messy break-up or they split amicably. make this connection messy or super sweet.

ride or die: besides her cousin sav, this person is her ride or die. they met in elementary school and have been inseparable ever since. they get into so much trouble and have a tendency to drive crazy distances in the middle of the night. give me meredith/christina vibes.

parents of children at little hands: macie has taught all levels so maybe it’s a former kiddos parents or maybe they met while doing a tour. give me anything with littles.

will they/won’t they: they’re relationship is tricky. they act like they’re dating but not with the official title.

pen pals: started in middle school they had a school project to write someone from a school in a different state. even though this should have only been a couple of months project, it has gone on until they day. letters, care packages, and surprise deliveries are a given.

[seancekitsch]

pure evil: richie kirsch x reader

warnings/AN: used santa rosa for geographic location of woodsboro, rough sex, richie is a switch, alcohol consumption, murder talk bc of course, ghost face wins au, i have opinions abt things and include them, spoilers for scream 5

Richie Kirsch uses the edge of the bar to itch the edge of his bandage. It's the thousandth time he’s done this while trying to nurse this drink. He wishes he could relax, knowing Woodsboro is seven hours away and it's been a week since the news buzz has died down. It was weird, being poked and prodded by reporters. He never wanted that, only to fix his favorite series, only to right a wrong. Now, he finds himself hiding here amongst a city of millions, just another face in the crowd so someone can tell the story he gave them. He thinks about the drive here every time he itches this fucking bandage on his arm. The stitches are almost completely dissolved, but no one at the hospital had told him they would itch like all hell when they were offering him a world of counseling. Every time the stitches itch, he wonders if he was convincing enough; wonders if the role of traumatized only survivor was filled correctly. He fixates on the whisky neat in front of him, tries to block out the fact that this is the third Tame Impala song in a row this dive has played. He likes Tame, but, c’mon.

It feels like I only go backwards, baby

Every part of me says, "Go ahead"

I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again

Feels like we only go backwards, darling

Richie needs to start going to another bar.

“Hey, Tall, nerdy and handsome” a smooth voice startles him, and he turns.

Just a woman, he thinks, and un-tenses his shoulders as she settles onto the bar stool next to him.

“Hey, uh, Stealthy, rude, and beautiful?” Smoooooth Rich. She laughs, tosses her hair, and almost slams her glass onto the bar. She’s drinking a negroni. Harsh.

“So, listen,” she starts, “My friends and I,”

She gestures over her shoulder, but in no discernible direction. It’s a crowded bar, he wouldn’t even be able to pick them out, even if he was trying to look at anyone else. He was focused on her. She’s, surprisingly, the first person besides the short term landlord and the bartenders who have talked to him since he’s gotten here.

“We have this little bet going, and they offered me to get to the bottom of it.” She grins like a cat who’s gotten the canary.

“So what’s this bet? Shy guy or serial killer?”

Great joke! Killers wouldn’t make jokes like that. She laughs again, this time he can tell, it’s more genuine.

“No, silly! They don’t think they’ve seen you before. But I do. See, we watch the news,” she takes a sip, prolonging her sentence until his palms itch as much as his stitches.

“They don’t think you’re Richie Kirsch. I do.”

He gulps. What the fuck.

“Why- Why do you think that?”

“Well, mostly because they know you, at least as much as the news has shown.”

Oh he doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like this at all. She takes a big sip of her negroni.

“And what does the news show?”

Might as well ask, might as well see what the perception of him is. Her friends will only bolster his alibi. She sighs, shoulders sagging, before tilting her chin towards him.

“Well they- and the news- say you’re a shy, devoted boyfriend, pulled into all of this mess, almost killed by his girlfriend and her kid sister. You’re completely in shock by the event and just trying to remember how to be a person again. You’re lucky to be alive,” she takes another sip off the rim of her glass, “They don’t think you’re you because really, why would you be here? Nobody comes here to blend in.”

Damn, spot on. Thats exactly what he wanted people to think. He’s safe.

“And uh… Not saying they’re wrong, but why do you think they’re wrong?” Richie asks, not trying to seem eager. Bolster, he remembers, bolster your alibi.

She smiles that Cheshire cat grin again, like she was there that night.

“I know the real you,” she states, matter of factly.

“IF-“ he pauses, holding up both hands, “If I’m Richie Kirsch, who is the real me?”

Might as well ask her, see if he’s still getting away with it.

“I think you’re not shy, just calculated. You’re not making a move without seeing the pieces on the board. I think you decided you couldn’t be small town anymore because you’d be like the Harry Styles of whatever shit job you had. I think you’re here, specifically Silver Lake and not West Hollywood, because you’d want to see what happens now that you're a star,” she gestures with her hands, mocking. “You wanna watch the aftermath from a safe distance.”

This was what he could afford, it was crowded, a lot of public spaces, and touristy enough to hide without being the epicenter of where people who care about social media were. At least he hoped his assessment of Silver Lake was correct. He doesn't want to be a star, just the inspiration for the plot.

“No one comes to this city to hide, everyone wants to be seen. I think you want someone to see you, Kirsch.”

He counters.

“And what about you? Are you here to be seen? Or just to judge people passing through?”

She smirks, points at him.

“A diversion! Clever. I’ll answer, but I’m not letting you off the hook.”

She gestures at the bartender with a flick of her ring finger, and she brings her another negroni immediately. This woman is a local.

“If you must know, Richard,” Fuck, the full name, “I’m a writer. Came all the way out here for a pilot for my passion project that got canceled at the last minute by production.”

Richie winces. That's gotta hurt.  

“And uh, what was that passion project?” he asks, wanting her to avoid himself as conversation topic at all cost.

“If you’re not who I really think you are—“ there she goes again with that shit, “you might find it offensive.”

This intrigues him. Richie turns himself on the stool fully towards her, downing the rest of his whisky in confidence.

“And why would some guy,” not himself, “find it offensive?”

She challenges him, waving to the bartender to refill his drink as well.

“I wrote out a Stab TV series. Totally faithful to the originals. I wanted to take the final kills, and then have a season dedicated to recovering from them. Worrying about a killer around the corner. Flashbacks. More psychological horror because slashers can’t play out in a serial setting like television.”

Fuck, Richie thinks he’s fallen in love.

“But it all got cancelled,” you say with a grimace, sipping agin on your negroni, “The reception that that fucking abomination of a last installment left me dead in the water.”

“That sucks, I hated that one too,” he says, hoping he didn’t tell any news outlets that he wasn’t familiar with Stab.

“Well you got to live it. Now I edit scripts for a Hulu Seinfeld reboot following Elaine’s kids. There’s a stupid fucking plot line that they could be Kramer’s kids.” She sighs dramatically, throwing her head into her hand before lifting herself up. He laughs, genuinely.

“But I’m sorry,” he pauses, “about your show,” he forces down one last chuckle about the reboot.

“But why would you think I wouldn’t find that offensive?”

“Because I know you, actually know you.”

Richie shifts in his seat, rests his forearm on the bar, but his bandage doesn't itch him anymore.If she’s going to blow up his alibi, he’s gotta get out or diffuse this fast.

“You just met me, and you didn’t even ask my name.”

“You didn’t ask mine either,” she winks at him, and jabs toward him with her little drink stirrer.

“I guess— I guess I didn’t really have time before you started psychoanalysis,” he offers as his only excuse.

“You’re smart, Not-Richie-Kirsch, but I’m not done with you. Actually!” she exclaims, throwing her drink stirrer into his glass, “I have a bit of a confession.”

Richie has to raise a brow at that. His face scrunches up in confusion, and he pats the back rest of her bar stool to urge her to continue.

“Ah— that got you! There’s no friends. No bet. I’ve been watching you for all of happy hour.” She gestures grandly with her hands, like she’s a genius for coming up with that opening line to get him talking.

“Do you normally do this when you're hitting on guys?” he asks, easing his glass for a big sip, “Like, does this normally work for you?”

He’s flirting, and he’s not sure that's such a good idea. But she’s hot, and probably the most interesting person in this city for him. She smiles that devious smile again, batting her lashes at him.

“Well I’ve never tried it on you before.” Smooth. She reaches perfectly manicured fingers over and plucks her drink stirrer back from his glass, and puts it up to her lips, her tongue slowly licking the warm whisky off of it. She never breaks eye contact. Richie shifts on his stool again, this time adjusting the lap of his pants. She’s evil.

“I know exactly who you are, stranger. I can read you like an open book. And…” she trails off, finishing her drink before turning back to him, shifting so close to him he can feel her body heat. Sickening, just like how hot this city was; but Richie wanted to be burned by it.

“I’m about to invite you back to my place based on how you answer this last question.”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Okay, Richie thinks. This is happening. Richie hasn’t had sex he’s actually wanted in so long. He had to use sex as a tool to get to where he is now, but maybe he can live a little, have some fun.

“And that is…?”

She tilts her head until her lips brush his earlobe. He shivers, and grips his glass so hard it might shatter in his hand.

“What did it feel like when you did it?” she whispers in his ear, and his blood runs cold.

“Wh-what?” he struggles to find the words.

“Don’t lie, I know you, remember? I know what you did.”

Her soft lips, her body heat, the way she saw him plainly, it was almost too much. Richie has to hold himself back from grabbing her right here and now.

Fuck it, fuck. She understands. She’s someone just like me, he thinks. She gets it. Stab TV woman, I’m ready to risk it all for you.

She drags her nail across his thigh, drawing a line right above his knee and to a smaller wound and watches as his jaw tenses. She pulls back slightly, just enough to see the look in his eyes, and there’s something dark in his expression. He’s right where he wants her.

“It felt fucking amazing,” he practically growls, and she goes in for the kill. She captures Richie’s lips with her own quickly seeking out to bite at his bottom lip; he tastes copper.

She almost trips up the steps to her loft. It clearly was an apartment carved out of one of those large early 1900s houses in the hills, one of those rentals with a shitty landlord that lives below you. It's very similar to the one Richie now has. He stares at her ass in the tight little skirt she’s wearing. Did she know he was here? Dress up specifically to entice him and get him here? He banishes the thought from his mind by raising his hand, and striking her ass as hard as he can. She yelps as she pitches forward, and then it melts into that laugh he's starting to love.

“I’ll get you for that, Rich!” she calls back over her shoulder, not even looking back at him as she fumbles for her keys. It's all so familiar and so new at the same time, and Richie wonders what she's doing to him. Already giving him nicknames, driving him wild, the promise of a night that could rival an arthouse porno, her nonchalance at his confession to her.

Richie more or less pushes her through the door frame the moment she has the keys worked through the lock, he lifts her top and flings it across the dark room. Her lips capture his own again, violent and passionate, and he groans into the kiss. She's a wildfire. Her arms snake around his neck, fingers coming to scratch against his scalp as he grips her hard by the hips. His lips move to her neck, kissing the underside of her jaw, wet and sloppy. He moans against the column of her throat, savoring the taste of her salty skin. Fuck, more more more. Richie searches for her pulsepoint, licking it before he bits down, hard, punctuating it with a grind of his hips into her. She moans, loud and uninhibited, and her body arches into him.

“When-” she sighs, breathless when she pulls away, “When you uh- did your girlfriend, how did you do it?”

Richie couldn't possibly get harder, but she was trying to make it happen. This woman is pure evil, fucked up.

“Do you want me to show you how I did it?” Richie asks, voice low and husky, trying to choke back a groan when her hand reaches down to cup him through his jeans.

“Uh huh,” she nods.

“Lay down then,” he commands, and her eyes dart over to the couch, “On the floor.”

She lets out a breathy little giggle as she obeys his command, making a show of getting on her knees first. Oh, she's  probably so good at sucking cock, he thinks. She lays down on the floor, hair splaying out around her like a halo though she's far from angelic.

He slowly joins her on the ground, one of his knees slotting between her thighs right where they meet. She sighs at the contact.

“It was just,”

He makes a fist, curling his fingers around an imaginary knife.

“Like this.”

He slowly brings the fist down against her breast, her flimsy mesh bralette leaving nothing to his imagination. She's warm; Sam didn't feel warm by the time he did this to her. She looks up at him, eyes blown wide and lips swollen from all the kissing. He keeps moving, opening his fist to grasp a handful of her breast, hard. She whines, and he decides wants to hear that noise over and over again. She grinds against his knee, needy and panting now, her hands planted firmly on his shoulders, nails digging into his skin through his shirt, her tight little skirt riding up her hips to show off her matching underwear. That got her wet.

“Listen,” he says, trying to keep it together, “Your boobs are perfect. Like, hands down, best I've ever seen. They're cinematic.”

Her back arches off of the wooden floor, blooming at the sound of praise. She likes that, good.

“Good enough to be your final girl?”

Shit, how does she manage to sound so put together when he can feel how messed up he’s making her?

He chuckles, hand flexing and squeezing again.

“Of course, female empowerment and elevated horror or whatever.”

She arches her back again under him, this time in cackling laughter.

“Elevated horror is a word invented to pretend that horror only just recently started saying shit with meaning. Elevated horror is gen z shit,” she says between giggles.

Richie’s chest tightens.

“I can’t believe you just said that. Will you marry me?” he jokes, and she bites her lip. Fuck, that’s sexy.

“Get your dick out, Kirsch”

She doesn't have to tell him twice. Richie pulls back, wincing as his knees rock against the wooden floors. He makes quick work of his belt buckle, but fumbles with the button of his fly. He curses his nerves, the fact he cannot remember a time he was ever this fucking hard in his lifetime. She wiggles out from under him, quickly pushing herself to her knees as well, shimmying her bralette straps down off of her shoulders. The flimsy mesh and lace hangs, a useless garment across her ribcage now as she waits eagerly for him.

Richie stands as he finally gets the fucking button, and the zipper is a breeze. She leans forward, eye level at his hips as she hooks her fingers around not only his jeans but his boxers too.

Holy fuck, this is happening. He’s been thinking about exactly this from the second she stuck her drink stirrer in his whisky. Wanted her mouth all over, wanted her to take whatever she wanted from him. Even without her confession, her little game of cat and mouse, her dangerous level of information, he wanted this specifically to be happening. Ghostface wins again.

She yanks the fabric down to his ankles, and he helps by kicking his vans off and helping her get his feet out of the jeans to fling off to some unknown corner of the room.

She almost gasps at the sight of him, rock hard and straining, already leaking and needy for her. Her hands plant themselves on his thighs, right above the knee. She looks up, and he’s trapped under her gaze. She doesn’t blink as she licks the entirety of the underside of his length, never tearing her eyes off his.

This is it, he thinks, he’s gonna embarrass himself in front of this woman.

His cock twitches, and that’s all the encouragement she needs. She wraps her lips around his tip, and then presses forward. He can feel himself hit the back of her throat, but she doesn’t gag.

This woman is otherworldly, he thinks. She bobs her head up and down on his length, taking meticulous care to swirl her tongue around the tip every time. She wants this to be good for Richie, wants to give him everything. He’s more attractive than he looked on the news, something she’s grateful for. She wants to see how far this really goes. He watches her intently, and she can tell he’s holding back his moans. That won’t do.

Richie is trying to hold on for dear life, knowing that she’s in control of him here. Her mouth is so hot and wet and welcomes him in, he could literally pass out from how good she’s making him feel. He has to hold on, he thinks, digging his fingernails into the palms of his hands that he’s balled up into fists.

It’s when she cups his balls that she gets her first reaction out of him. A full body shiver runs up his spine, ending in a harsh moan he can’t bite back. There we go, she thinks.

His hands hastily gather up her hair, holding it back clutched in his right fist as she continues. He tries not to pull too hard, but when she looks at him like that it’s hard not to give in to those urges. She takes it like a champ, actually moaning around him as he gets rougher, his hips starting to thrust on their own accord. She hollows out her cheeks around the head of his cock, and that's almost enough to send him over the edge right there.

“Oh, I knew you’d be good at this,” he moans, letting his head fall back as he does.

She wants to chuckle, wants to ask ‘So you were thinking about this too?’ but she doesn't, only moans again and takes him deeper into her mouth.

That's the last straw for Richie, who can feel every muscle in his body tensing, every nerve pulsing, the sound of blood rushing in his ears.

He pulls her off of him by her hair, not caring really if it hurts anymore. She stares up at him the way a tourist stares at the statue of David. He would let her finish the job, she should, she’s talented. But Richie only has one thing on his mind.

“Ffffuck that feels amazing but listen, honey, I have to get inside you right now,” he groans, trying to hold back ragged breaths. Something in her eyes changes, something primal. Is this what he looked like before he did Sam in?

She nods her head slowly, mouthing ‘okay’ but not saying anything. She slowly rises to her feet to join him, and now the setting sun casts her in red, makes her something otherworldly.

“Your turn to get on the floor,” her voice is raspy, and he’s almost proud that he did that to her throat.

“Yeah?” he asks, as if he has time to question her, as if he didn’t need to split her open thirty seconds ago.

“You don’t fuck me, I fuck you.” she states with finality.

Holy fuck this girl is gonna kill him. He wastes no time getting down onto the floor, the wood against his bare ass as he whips his tee shirt off over his head, not being careful of the bandage on his arm. Oh well, he’ll deal with that later. She stops pulling her skirt down to admire him, he watches as her eyes trace all of the healing cuts on his chest sure to scar. Entry wounds, exit wounds, in, out. She’s got this sweet smile on her face, something he can’t fully place. Admiration? He leans forward to grab the skirt bunched up in her hands, and pulls it the rest of the way down to her ankles so she can step out of it. In milliseconds, her panties are off and she’s straddled on top of him, heat radiating from her and he’s so, so close.

“Be a good boy, okay?” she asks, a sweet tone to match that smile she gave him. He wants to obey her, every word, just as much as he wants to break her. He wants to destroy her, fuck her so hard he mangles her for anyone else who would even think of touching her. But he will obey, he decides; he nods eagerly at her and holds her hands as she sinks down onto his length.

She doesn’t hold back any of her moans, he notices. Doesn’t try to control or suppress her feelings or urges. She places his hands back on her chest as she starts to rise and fall in his lap. He watches the muscles in her legs as they tense and work and fuck, the entire thing is art. It could be a shot from an HBOMax original, maybe a Stab themed Natural Born Killers type show.

“Fuck— Richie, another question?” she says after a particularly deep thrust down, earning him a whine that he won’t ever erase from his memory.

“Yeah?” he pants, shifting his weight so he can thrust up into her as well; a pleasant look of shock flashes across her face, then that wicked smile again as she adjusts her pace to keep up with him.

“Ever get hard while you did it?” She refuses to say the word kill, but even still, he chuckles and nods his head, hands sliding from her chest to her hips to hold her in place. He feels her clench around him at his confession. Oh, this woman’s a fucking psycho like him.

“Oh, did you like that?” Richie teases, feeling sweat start to trickle down his shoulders.

Without warning, her perfectly manicured hand finds its way around his throat, pressing down against his windpipe. It isn’t the sexy kind of choking, it’s the kind that kills brain cells.

“I’d like it more if you made me cum,” she practically hisses at him. If Richie wasn’t already harder than solid steel, he would probably die.

His fingers dig into her hips, hard enough to bruise as he starts to thrust up into her with vigor. He wants to be good, for her. He holds her as she bounces, rolling his hips every few thrusts to get that whine to fall from her lips again. He’s eager to please, apparently, and he realizes he would do anything she asked if she asked him like this.

“I probably-” he stutters, still thrusting, still choking, “I probably won't last long”

She meets his admission by throwing her head back, giving him a show.

“Then don't, just make me cum first, Ghostface,” she sighs and flexes her hand on his throat, not at all knowing the effect she has on him.

He moans again, at the name she uses, and pumps into her as hard as he can. He hopes he bruises her thighs from this, makes her feel him for days. She writhes in his grasp, quickly feeling herself approaching the edge. He does that thing again, with his hips, and that whine tumbles from her mouth again, this time feeling like an electric shock. She lurches forward, hands landing on either side of his head, giggling as he doesn't let up his pace.

She's tight, impossibly tight, and he knows she's close. Richie’s holding on, but just barely. His back is straining from the movement, but the hurt is good, a good burn. Muscles impossibly hot, just like the heat she radiates. He switches up his movements, grinding into her at this new angle, and she practically screams in his ear, but he doesn't mind. He grinds into her, hard, and he can feel her coming apart around him. When she comes, it doesn't shatter her; instead it comes in waves. He feels her stutter and stall, her muscles tense and un-tense, the way she squeezes his cock. And when he finishes, inside her, it's like a crack of thunder. His arms come up around her back, his bandaged arm pressing against the back of her ribcage. He holds her close as he shakes, moans against her as he loses what little composure he has. She’s thoroughly wrecked him.

She kisses his shoulder and the side of his neck as she works through the aftershocks, little shakes and chills running through her body as he holds her close, works her through it. Its almost dark now, and he’s sure she looks as beautiful in the moonlight as she did in the blood red sun.

Suddenly, she lifts herself up, shaking like a fawn finding its footing.

She places her hands firmly on both sides of Richie's face, leaning down slowly to kiss his face. This kiss is different, gentle for the first time, and chaste. He breathes her in, allowing his eyes to fall shut inhaling something woodsy but sickeningly sweet. Richie needed this, her; this calmness spreading under his skin, a euphoria he only felt that night. Ironically, laying on the floor just the way he is now. Post good sex haze feels similar to bleeding out, he concludes. The way he feels like he's floating, the strangeness of his pulse, the weight of his limbs, and hers atop him. Richie thinks back to when the Woodsboro police found him, with Sam on top of him, just like this woman is now, a puddle slowly forming below him, dazed and smiling.The woman on top of him presses her face into the side of his neck, letting her arms go slack on the ground. Amber might have died, but she wasn't part of his plan, his vision. She was easy to manipulate, he just had to send a few texts. She was a means to an end and Richie was alive, and Richie could live to actually enjoy a new legacy for Stab. And now he laid here, with a woman who had him figured out. A writer, at that. Richie for a moment considered her to be like Amber, but somewhere between sucking his cock and her hand around his throat, he decided she wouldn’t be another person to take the fall for him, wouldn't be another body in this franchise. But she has every right to think he would. He hopes she doesn’t.

She likes being on top of him, she thinks, the feeling of being in control of a man like this. Ghostface, her favorite. She’s glad she was right about him.

“Hey, hey I have a question for you,” Richie whispers against her lips.

She pulls herself up on her hands, but only far enough to make eye contact. He could easily kiss her still from this position.

She smiles, encouraging him to continue. She’s already asked him so many this evening, so he might as well be allowed to have one.

“Can I uh- Can I see that script you've got? The pilot?” He sounds almost shy in the moment, as if his cock wasn’t still buried inside of her, as if he hadn’t fully admitted to several murders tonight.

“Uh… yeah,” she hesitates first, caught off guard, “Do you have, like, some input for me?”

He laughs, and Richie cups her face in his hands gently.

“I’m gonna be honest, I’m not sure I have the most accurate perspective for your idea.”

Another joke about something he really shouldn't be joking about, but she brings it out of him.

The next thing she says shocks him.

“Maybe I can scrap it and we can come up with your reboot together. I’m sure there’s a few scenes you'd like to rewrite. You are the new hero, after all.”

Richie Kirsch is hard again immediately.

[somethinginthethunder]

last asker here (luisa x no family!reader), better worded: reader being jealous of luisa's relationship with her family

``when you don't have a good family``

notes: found family is literally one of my favorite tropes ty for the request, love <3 also i didn't know if you wanted me to keep the julieta/family dinner part so i omitted it if that's okay!

warnings: depictions of an unhealthy/verbally ab**ive family. nothing severe, but i'll still be putting a cut here just in case anything is possibly trigging + i'll try and remember to do this for any further writings like this. stay safe and remember what you're comfortable with!!

—

-if someone asked the average citizen what they thought of your family and you, they'd probably respond with something very mild

-maybe something like, "nice kid and parents. sometimes they're helpful neighbors, too."

-unfortunately for you, your parents were anything but nice

-from the moment you were born it seemed like they were just disgusted at the idea of you. when you looked into your memories there were no bed time stories, comforting hugs or words, a smile of affection and care, or even a simple 'i love you'.

-you had no idea what you did to deserve it, but that's how it was your entire life.

-this meant you grew up to be pretty detached from your family and people in general.

-well, that was until luisa walked into your life

-literally

-you were distracted while carrying a basket of laundry and luisa ran into you while trying to fix her hair before she went off to do work

-she apologized.

-a lot.

-and at first you were apprehensive at her kindness despite her strong build. of course you knew who she was, but that didn't mean you had any sort of connection or knowledge of her besides 'she's strong but not mean'.

-but eventually she found a way to wriggle herself into your heart and mind, becoming your girlfriend only months after meeting.

-before her you had believed you wouldn't be able to meet anyone who would want to be yours. and, honestly, it was mostly because that's what your parents had made you believe.

-but luisa was incredibly wonderful. she'd always want to be hugging you, kissing you, etc. at first she was nervous about giving you affection but once the two of you talked about it she was free to do all she wanted :)

-as for your parents, they eventually found out that you were dating the madrigal. they weren't mad that you were dating someone, in fact, they were almost impressed. almost.

-when they had heard you had a partner all they'd do is make fun of you constantly, reassuring you that it wouldn't last long at all.

-well jokes on them because you had already lasted several months.

-if that wasn't bad enough, you couldn't help but get jealous every time you went to luisa's house

-it wasn't that you were jealous of their powers or anything, no, it was their relationship.

-everyone was free to openly show how much they loved each other, whether it be pepa and felix being patient with one another or mirabel and antonio running around the house giggling because of a prank they pulled on antonio's older brother.

-you felt bad about feeling so jealous, becoming a little more quiet and withdrawn over time

-luisa would try and ask you what's wrong, but it was still something you were so unused to.

-so, instead of confessed what was going on, you just ignored it

-luisa would be insistent after a few days. at first she thought maybe you were just having a bit of a bad day, but when it kept going she decided it must be something bigger

-when she finally confronted you, you lashed out at her, finally snapping and yelling at her to leave you alone

-but when you saw the look on her face you knew that you shouldn't have done that

-if there was one person who didn't deserve that from you it was her.

-she'd try to leave you but you'd just grab her wrist and start to tear up.

-"i'm sorry. i'm sorry, please don't leave me."

-that got you two to the point where she'd be holding you as you'd cry and confess why you'd been acting so weird.

-when luisa heard about how your family was treating you she was ready to pummel them to the ground.

-"i can't believe they'd do that to you! i'll... i'll destroy them!"

-you shook your head and tried to wipe your tears. "it'll only stir up drama."

-but the tears wouldn't stop coming, so your wonderful girlfriend decided she could figure out what to do with them later. but for now, she had to focus on getting you even just a little bit happier.

-her angry face turned into a kinder smile.

-"fine," she'd concede. "i guess you'll just have to marry me and move in."

-the smile on her face would only grow when you burst out laughing, hitting your fist on her chest gently as you'd say, "you're such a dork!"

-little did you know, she actually did really want to marry you.

-but she knew that the both of you and your relationship were just a little too young.

-she knew that someday, though, she'd be able to take you away and finally give you what you deserve.

-even if she had to wait just a little bit longer.

[yabai-korra]

The reasons why we're getting Manorian book

There has been a lot of speculation whether SJM is going to favor us with book/novella about Manon Blackbeak and Dorian Havilliard, recently I saw some fans doubting it, so here's a list of logical reasons why it's happening.

1. It's SJM

This woman writes two 500+ pages books per year, for her it would be a piece of cake.

2. There have already been books focused on side characters

a) Chaol and Yrene - Chaol was one of the most unpopular characters before Tower of Dawn (which made me love him hehe) and she still wrote a 600+ pages long book about him, just imagine what she'd do with the most popular character (Manon) and one of the most popular ones (Dorian).

b) Nesta and Cassian - this is ship is the closest to Manorian equivalent in ACOTAR series, aka starting from a physical relationship that develops into a sentimental one. Also 6th ACOTAR book will be focused on a new characters (most probably Elain)

3. Favoritism

SJM has talked multiple times about her love for these two. When asked about her favorite TOG character, she said Aelin, but Manon was a close second place and she said that she absolutely loves writing her.

In another interview, when asked who she would go on a book tour with and a few similar questions, she answered Dorian.

Now, I haven't seen all of her interviews ever and I'm not sure how much she loves Nessian and Cahorene (seems to love Nessian a hella lot tho), but it's definite that Manorian are some of her favorite characters and it's just logical that she would write about them.

4. Unfinished story/Unresolved feelings

Ships at the end of TOG:

Rowaelin - married

Elorcan - engaged

Lysaedion - engaged

Chaorene - married with a baby on the way

Nestaq - engaged

Manorian - hug and "we'll see"

All the ships basically got engaged in the last chapter (it's not like I didn't like it hehe) and their stories, romantic-wise, were pretty much finished and they have no unresolved tension between them. Manorian on the other hand, have enough of it for all the ships lol.

KOA spoilers ahead!

Keep in mind, Manorian relationship was mostly a sexual one, and they don't quite yet have a way of communicating their feelings properly. So there is a lot of unaddressed between them, even though they obviously care a lot about each other.

The unresolved things between Manon and Dorian:

"“And if I asked you to stay?” / “I’d need a very convincing reason, I suppose.” / “Because I don’t want you to go.” - they just fucked and Dorian left for Morath later, which impacted Manon a lot but they haven't discussed it

"I even care about you." - Manon got up and left

"There is only one witch who will be my queen." - Manon doesn't know about this

Manon saved Dorian from Valg demon even when Aelin couldn't. It was the worst thing to happen to Dorian and he still bears scars from it, yet he didn't have an appropriate situation to thank Manon for it

Dorian knows that Erawan lusted after Manon, which got him pissed of course, and he didn't have a chance nor time to ask Manon about it. It might be nothing, but if I were Dorain and my girlfriend who doesn't show feelings was locked up with a crazy guy who has a thing for her, and have seen the way he treats women, I'd be concerned. Erawan was a Valg king, a tough opponent even for Manon. If he had done something to her, and he had plenty of means and opportunities and wish to do so, Manon would never openly tell anyone (maybe Asterin) about it, because it would imply opening up and being weak, which is Manon's worst fear. Again, SJM, as the Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just randomly throw in the main villain having a thing for an important character, everything in her books always has a meaning and purpose.

"Would you miss me if I didn't [come back]?" - Manon didn't reply

This is how SJM described Manorian marriage: "She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it." - and you're telling me it's not deserving of its own book? Not just that, Manon asked Dorian for marriage and they, again, just had sex, with Dorian loving the idea but deep down knowing that Manon would feel caged in a marriage. And that attitude won't just change out of the blue. It takes time and development which is something SJM writes amazingly.

With the Thirteen gone, beside Abraxos Dorian is the only creature Manon cares about.

Dorian's mortality (although as you'll see in point #6 I'm sure he's not human)

The dreaded "You could just marry each other." / "We'll see." (Thanks Yrene :)

5. Foreshadowing

Listen here, SJM IS THE QUEEN OF FORESHADOWING. She thought of a detail (Dorian's dad's name) in the first book that would matter in the last book. Of course, there are many many many more examples of that, but if we got "We'll see." then we'll fucking see it happen.

6. Unresolved things about Manon and Dorian as individual characters.

Manon and Dorian and both pretty broken at the end of KOA.

Manon lost the Thirteen, the only people she cared about. That is a huge trauma that needs to be addressed, especially with someone so reluctant to show feelings and heal like Manon.

Dorian can't be human?? He has fae abilities due to his relation to Gavin and Elena even though he's not even called a demi-fae. He possesses powers no one else does, phantom hands for example, which he didn't steal like shape-shifting. And Maeve pointed out that due to his father being possessed by Valg when Dorian was sired, it's possible he got some of the Valg abilities. (Also she said that he's stronger than Aelin) The main villain, especially written by Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just let drop it there and that's it. Also not to mention Dorian's own struggle with depression and self-worth.

They have both just become rulers of their kingdoms, completely new to it. Dorian has spent a big part of KOA imagining what kind of a king he wants to be (one that will have a witch queen hehe) and it was a major point of his character. And addition to that affecting them as characters, the future of Adarlan and Witch Kingdom could make a good plotline.

7. Other TOG characters

Although pretty much all the readers would die to see Chaorene baby, Lorcan in Perranth, Aelin and Rowan ruling Terrasen, Lysandra and Adeion officially adopting Evangeline, Nesryn and Sartaq becoming Khagan and Empress of Antica, all of these don't make enough of a plot on its own. They are great side-plots.

We know all of these characters love each other and are happy together, there isn't that much to be added to their personal stories other than kids. (same way Feyre and Rhys got a baby in Nessian book) Manorian however, they haven't even kissed without it leading to sex, they hugged at the end of KOA and it was the pique of their relationship. Their relationship is merely at the beginning, whereas others have pretty much reached their ultimatum (ofc SJM can decide to add some drama with betrayal, kidnapping, pregnancy etc. but for now everyone is good and settled beside Manorian)

Not to mention the way other relationships would affect them. Chaol, Dorian's brother, and Yrene, Manon's wannabe bestie and Manorian shipper, would bring their baby to meet his/her uncle Dorian and aunt Manon, and imagine Manon with a baby lol.

SJM loves Aelin and other characters way too much not to give us an insight on them as married couples, but since her books are huge and it's her, it needs a plot with drama, addressing traumas, repressed feelings, worldbuilding, and sex, and Manorian's got all of that.

8. Abraxos

We need more Abraxos, that's just a fact.

Wow that was a long one. Anyways, in conclusion, we're getting that Manorian book. Pretty sure it's gonna a book rather than a novella (TOD was also planned as a novella but then guess what) because there is just SO MUCH possible content.

[missblissy]

Human Alastor x reader playing Bowling? (Idk i just like that type of date hhaha) Maybe just them or maybe with friends

((>W>.............................. js I hate bowling. But I love you nonny, so for you..... I made this. ENJOY!! Sorry for the wait *cries*))

How goes bowling these days? Is that even still a thing? And why would anyone want to go bowling other than to drink? But no one drinks have the time... people just go for the pin and balls. Maybe it had to do with long and round phallic objects and balls rolling around. Regardless, your friends had dragged you to go bowling for whatever reason. And you decided to drag Alastor along because if you had to suffer, so did your boyfriend. It was also a bonus that he got along with your friends as well... some of them at least.

It was Charlie's idea mostly. She was someone who always wanted to go out and try new things. It was something she lived by apparently because this week's new activity was bowling at one of those dark neon allies with an arcade built-in. Charlie managed to talk her girlfriend, Vaggie, into coming too. Angel came because he also assumed there would be drinks but found out there wasn't a damn bar inside. You honestly had no idea how or why Husk was even there because he was completely and entirely miserable. If you had to guess it had something to do with you forcing Alastor to come.

Anyways, you and your little group of friends had found themselves staring down an alley with those silly little shoes on. Angel wouldn't wear his though, he wouldn't let their piss shade of yellow clash with his outfit.

You were sitting in plastic chairs next to Angel as you watched Charlie and Alastor go up next. You had two lanes so they went together. Angel sat next to you, he grabbed an arm behind you on the back of your chair and leaned in, "Five bucks says Allie gets the gutter," He whispered loud enough for Alastor to hear. You giggled as you saw your boyfriend's brow twitch and ignore the comment.

There was a second there that you were tempted to say something back to Angel but you were interrupted by the loud clash and computer saying "Strike!" You looked up and saw that Charlie was still holding her bowling ball. But walking away with a smirk on his face, Alastor's smug pride gleamed off him. The shock on everyone's face only made him boast to himself even more. When did Alastor find the time to get good at bowling.

As he sat down next to you, he threw Angel's arm away from you and replaced it with his own, though he was sure to wrap his fingers around your shoulder and bring you closer to him. He never liked Angel, and he was always so overly protective when it came to you anyways, so it wasn't welcomed that the boy was so close to you. Even if he was a guy. Competition is competition, it doesn't matter who they are, Alastor didn't like sharing you. Period.

"How... Did you do that?" You asked him.

Alastor shrugged and watched as Charlie threw her bowling ball right into the gutter, "I'm perfect at everything I do, dear." That was supposed to be satire.

Angel rolled his eyes and with a huff, he crossed his arms, "You can't fuck." He deadpanned.

Instincts kicked in and you ducked seconds before Alastor nearly climbed over you and punched Angel in the face. He missed and got him in the shoulder instead.

"Leave Alastor and his fuckless life alone," Husk said as he got up from his seat, "Some people are just better than the rest of us sexual deviants," He took his turn bowling soon after saying that. Vaggie went next as well. She choose to keep her mouth shut on all this.

But even Charlie had something to say, "Come on guys," She awkwardly waved her hands, trying to calm everyone down, "If you're going to fight take it outside this time. I don't want to get kicked out of another place of business..."

"He won't fight me, he'd know I'd deck him in the head and give 'em a one-two combo real quick like last time." Angel reminded everyone, and you all collectively remembered Angel clocked Alastor in the face at a bar after a heated argument. Alastor went out like a light and broke his nose on the way down. You looked at him and saw the little kink in his nose from that night.

You sighed and reached down into your pocket and pulled out your wallet. You grabbed a random twenty and handed it to Angel, "I'll give you this and two cigs if you go outside for ten minutes."

Angel gave you a snotty look, somewhat offended that you'd even offer such a thing. But he knitted his brows, snatched your twenty-dollar bill, and stole two cigarettes from the pack you left laying next to you on your seat, "I'm gonna find a bar on this fucking street- I'll be back later, losers."

You could still feel the rage simmer off Alastor even after Angel left. Though you didn't have time to say anything to him. It was your turn to go up. And now that Angel was gone, you didn't want to go up there and make a fool of yourself alone... Half your plan was to have Angel bowl next to you so that no one would notice how bad you were.

"Um-" You said as everyone waited for you to go, "I'd...uh... Um. I don't know hooow-" You were cut off as Alastor quickly got up and pulled you up with him.

He dragged you to the lane and got a bowling ball for you, "Hold this," He said. You noticed his anger from before had all but melted away. Alastor gave you a charming smile and stood beside you, "Copy me. Like when we dance."

You blinked at him a few times then did was he said. He held his hand up, pretending he had a ball. You copied him and did the same. He brought his hands to his chest, stepped forward, swung his arm back then forward again. You smiled at him and did the same, but you actually threw a ball. It rumbled down the lane and crashed into a couple pins. At least you didn't get the gutter.

"See? That easy," Alastor smiled at you. He place a hand on your arm and pressed a kiss on your cheek. He grabbed your hand in his and asked, "Do you want to see if they have any vending machines in the arcade? We can get some snacks?" Which was code for do you want to sneak away for a second?

"Sure," You quickly agreed while locking your fingers with his. The two of you scurried off with him. The second you were out of eyesight and safe behind a wall, Alastor gave you a more proper kiss.

He pulled away and asked, "Why did we come again?"

You shrugged, "Charlie asked." You simply said.

Alastor let out a huff then started walking with you towards the vending machines, "You can't really say no to someone like her..."

As you pulled out a few loose coins from your pocket and slipped them into the machine you laughed, "No, you can't." You both dearly loved your friendship with Charlie... But she could be a bit bossy sometimes.

The two of you collected an arm full of snacks and started walking back together, "Well, I say when we get home, we have a proper date."

You laughed and even lost a few snacks. You picked them up quickly and said, "You mean you cook us dinner and we watch a movie? That's not a proper date either, ya know."

Alastor smirked at you then nudged his arm into yours with a grin, "It is too because it'll be just us. Alone."

You rolled your eyes but still chuckled to yourself, "Alright, alright," You said, "What do you want to watch?"

He shrugged, "Don't care. I just want to make fried rice tonight."

You let out a huff of a laugh and passed out a snack to each of your friends while Alastor gave them a drink of some kind, "Fine. But I'm picking a TV show then because I just started watching something on Netflix."

"Aw, are you guys leaving?" Charlie asked with way too much sadness on her face.

"No, no-" You waved a hand slightly, "Alastor just doesn't think this is a proper date, so he has to make one up at home."

"What do you mean this isn't a proper date?" Vaggie threw a hand in the air, "All of us brought our partners! I mean- Angel left... So Husk is more like a third wheel at this point. This definitely counts as a group date or whatever."

"Call me old-fashioned, but you don't bring your friends on a date and there is no such thing as a group date," Alastor said as he cracked open a can of cola.

"What about a double date?" Husk asked from his seat while he tore open a bag of chips.

"This isn't a double date and even then those aren't real dates either. You're supposed to be somewhere nice, havea nice meal, share a few drinks. Share some stories and laughs with the one person you're interested in courting, then call it a night, done!" Alastor smiled to himself while everyone else collectively sighed. He was old-fashioned. (But you liked that about him.)

"This isn't 1955, Al. You can go on a date anywhere. Like here. What about going to the zoo? Could that be a date?" Vaggie asked.

Alastor thought about it, tapped a finger to his chin then gleefully said, "Nope! That's an outing!" Several people groaned but no one went on to feed into his banter.

You did hear Husk grumble under his breath "You need to go out to go on a date," But Alastor must have not heard it or choose to not say anything.

The rest of your night there wasn't that bad either. Angel did end up coming back, but not without his arms full of booze bottles of all kinds. They didn't serve drinks here but at least Angel was wise enough to buy some solo cups too. No one was really paying attention to the bowling anymore either. (You lost, not that you cared or anything.... You did.) Instead, you and your friends had gathered around in the arcade, drinking, laughing, playing games, and picking on each other harmlessly. You enjoyed every second of it, much to your surprise. Alastor did as well, though... He still insisted on his proper date once you got home.

[highdramas]

steady now | b.b.

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝'𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: language, possible tfatws spoilers, mention of death? sort of? mention of the blip mostly, some angst, references to sexxxx babie

word count: 4.3k wowie

summary: bucky is not the only one with amends to make.

note: here’s another installment in the twalb story <3 again, you don’t have to read these in order, they stand independently, but they do all work together! PLEASE leave feedback/reblog! this is extremely helpful for me writing future parts to know what everyone likes or doesn’t like! i’m extremely proud of this part so i really hope that you all enjoy it as much as i’ve enjoyed writing it <3

enjoy! <3

there was once a time where you loved california.

there was once a time where you had a boyfriend with an easy smile and charming demeanor and a family in ventura. his name was felix, and you always told people that he could make anyone fall in love with him with nothing but that stupid smile of him-- of course, you never said how that upset you. you never said how it hurt when the waitress looked at him with dazzling eyes and how he seemed to relish in the attention.

you never voiced how he seemed to eventually bore of the attention that you gave him. you never voiced the way that you wished he would look at you with those dazzling eyes and give you that breezy laughter and that look that said i have you in the palm of my hand.

he did. he didn’t need to give you that look to know that.

sometimes, you wonder if he felt any sort of relief after the blip. you wonder if when you dusted right before him, if he felt like he won in some sick way. of course, you know that he would never admit that. he would never make that known to anyone. maybe even himself. but subconsciously… you wonder if you were simply an accessory that was worn out of convenience, and if your fading from reality was the biggest convenience at all.

it’s sick. you know it’s sick, and likely not true. but still. you wonder.

when you returned, the first thing that you did when you got your hands on a cell phone was call him. you called him and you cried and you said that you were okay, you were here. you asked him what the hell happened. you asked him if it had really been five years.

you heard a voice in the background. it was feminine, light, airy. the voice of a fairy. you’ll never forget hearing that voice. you learned later that she was his fiance.

you’ll never forget the sort of heartbreak that you felt. it was visceral. the knowing-- the knowing that it wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t anything that you did. it was merely the absence of you. you still wonder how long he mourned. you wonder how long it took. you saw him only a handful of times after you returned. he had cried, and you had stared, unsure what to say.

how do you apologize for fading from existence?

that was the first time you saw him. the second was worse.

the second, you were angry. you were angry and you lashed out. what was supposed to be an easy dinner turned into an explosion of tears and fury, the words this isn’t fair and what was i supposed to do? wait for you? and so desperately you had wanted to say yes. you wanted to say that you wished he had held out hope, that he stayed up and dreamt of you and that he was devoted.

it was a selfish thought. he had told you politely to not contact him again.

you had learned that he had moved back to ventura with his fairy girlfriend from some casual facebook stalking. they bought a house on the coast. they’re planning a wedding.. she is beautiful, and you noticed something from the pictures you see of them together right away. he looks at her not like he was charming her, but like she was charming him.

that’s what made you realize he was never yours to begin with.

now, you’re in california again. now, bucky sits beside you and he drives and you control the music. now, he looks at you like you have hung the stars in the sky and propped up the moon. and you look at him the same way.

bucky has amends to make, but so do you.

when he reaches over and places his hand on your thigh, you smile. you place your hand over his and you squeeze. you’d insisted that you two rent a convertible, and though he rolled his eyes, he obliged. you drive down the pch and it is april and the sun is warm and inviting but not abrasive. he wears sunglasses and he doesn’t wear the gloves. he wears a short sleeved shirt.

it’s enough to make you smile and lay your hand back against the seat and make you think: everything happened just the way it should.

bucky is here to extend his amends to the chaplin family. well… really, he’s here to set them up with the CIA. they’ve been hydra sympathizers for years.

you, on the other hand, are here to extend amends of your own.

bucky knows. bucky knows and he watched you recall the story with tears blurring your vision. you would hiccup and say, “i’m sorry. i’m not sad over him, not anymore. i’m just sad that i could be forgotten so easily.”

he had held your face in his hands and he swiped at your tears and he said, “you’re impossible to forget.”

at first, when you brought up coming with him, he had been hesitant. his endeavors with the amends and with sam, he tends to like keeping separate. you get it. you know he doesn’t want to put you anywhere near the danger that he encounters, even if that maddens you. but then, your face fell and you held out the wedding invitation that had arrived in your mailbox. “i want to go.”

bucky takes it and he studies it and he clenches his jaw. he looks at you through his lashes. “i’m going with you.”

now, the wedding is in three days. you wonder if he was surprise when you sent in your rsvp marked yes. you were surprised that he invited you at all.

once, you remember him saying to you, “sometimes, you have to extend olive branches. you’re too damn stubborn for your own good.”

this is your olive branch.

bucky squeezes your thigh and his thumb makes small circles and it instills a calm in you that you haven’t felt since you stepped foot on the plane. he glances over at you. “we don’t have to go.” this isn’t the first time that he’s said this. “we can stay in our hotel all week. i’m sure we can find something to do.”

your jaw drops and you look over at him and he has that smug look on his face. it’s been nice, watching him slip into ease with you. “you are such a pig.”

“i’m just saying, we have options.”

you laugh and you swat his hand away. he grins and he places it on the head rest, his fingers idly playing with a few strands of your hair that blow in the wind as he drives. you pull up to the hotel and you check in and bucky carries all of your bags, which you try to object, but he simply does not care. you fall back onto the mattress and he follows suit and he presses his lips to yours, presses them to your pulse point, your jaw. he whispers against your skin that you are beautiful. he whispers against your skin that you’re an angel.

angel. he always calls you that.

hours pass and you spend most of them beneath bucky, breathless. eventually it is the middle of the night and you have done nothing but fuck and you’ll be the first one to admit that they were hours well spent. he’s propped up on an elbow and he looks down at you, dewy and heavy lidded. “why’d you want to come out here? to the wedding?”

you can’t help but laugh. “that’s what you want to talk about right now?”

he blushes, moves to hide his face, but you beam and you place your hand on the side of his face. you push yourself up and sit criss cross, holding the sheet to your body, facing him. he follows suit.

the two of you do this back home. whether you’re sitting on the living room floor or in bed. it’s easier to talk in the dark, bucky once said. you’d never forgotten. so, this became a sort of unspoken ritual. you would sit with your knees brushing and you would talk and you would laugh and you never wanted this to change.

“i guess i don’t know why i wanted to come.” you reach for his hand and he offers it to you. you run your fingers along the golden grooves, and you swear that you see the hairs on his opposite arm begin to stand up. “i didn’t want to be seen as the bitter ex. i hate-- i hate being perceived. you know? like, i can’t control how anyone views me. i can’t control them thinking i’m crazy or irrational. but… they don’t know anything at all.” bucky’s eyes never leave you. “i wanted to come because i feel like i’m ready to face it. the truth of it. i don’t feel fearful of it all. i used to feel so… gross. gross about how i reacted and how i felt. i felt so selfish. but now…” you can’t help but smile a little bit and you touch the place on his chest where his heart lies in his ribcage. “i’m glad for it. all of it. it’s stupid, but… it brought me here.” you lean your palm into his chest just slightly more. he covers your hand with his and he pulls you in, your hand splayed out on him.

bucky is softening before you. so often you are the one who offers an ear and a comforting touch, but he is happy to repay the favor whenever you need it. “you’re too strong all the time.” his words are definitive, with no room for arguing. “you were hurting. you’re allowed to hurt. you didn’t have a choice in missing out on five years while the world went on without you.”

of course, you know he’s right, but it just feels good to hear it. it feels good to hear it from him. “and he was an asshole.” bucky’s jaw sets. “he had five years to mourn you and your relationship. he barely gave you a month. what sort of guy does that? to a girl he loved?” he shakes his head, as if shaking the thought from his person. “if that were me, i would’ve…”

you watch as he trails off. he looks down and away. you gently take his face and move it up, getting him to look at you again. he gives you this smile that is equal parts sorrow and loving, and you wish you could take away all his pain. “i’d mourn you for life. and i… if i got the chance to have you again? i’d--”

“bucky.” you cut him off smoothly and you shake your head. “that won’t happen.”

he smiles. “i know.” he pushes your hair back and his hand rests on the back of your neck. “i just can’t imagine someone having you and not--” he shakes his head. “he’s a fool.”

gently, your hands lay on his knees and you lean forward. “you asked why i wanted to come,” you whisper, your lips nearly touching his. “i wanted to come because i want to thank him.” you press your lips against his, and his hand goes to splay on your back, pulling you in nearer and nearer. “he recommended the apartment building.”

bucky grins and you connect in every possible place. you roll between the sheets once more and eventually, sleep overtakes you.

the days leading up to the wedding pass by in a relative blur. bucky goes to make his amends and though you offer to come, he shakes his head. “i’ll be quick,” is his promise, and he keeps good on it. he’s gone barely two hours.

you spend time on the beach and sight seeing. you don’t know if you’ve ever seen bucky this… relaxed. yes, he’s always slightly more alert than your average citizen, but you will never fault him for that. you go and get ice cream and you sit on a little bench and bucky stares at you. “what?” you asked and you raise your brows. “something on my face?”

“actually, yes.” he reaches out and swipes your bottom lip, coming back with some strawberry ice cream on his thumb. he pops it into his mouth and it makes your heart plummet to your stomach. “yum.”

you all but drag him back to your hotel.

finally, it is the day of the wedding.

bucky has been ready for hours. he likes unbearably handsome-- you’d gone with him to a shop in new york and had helped him pick out some new slacks and a nice fitting shirt. he had chuckled at the way that the pants hit his ankles and said, “it’s definitely not the forties anymore.”

you had picked out a sage green silk dress, and you smooth it out in the mirror, tilting your head to the side as you looked at yourself. bucky approaches you from behind and you’re so stuck in your own head that you hardly notice him until his hands are on you. they go to your shoulders, rubbing soothing circles into tense muscles with his thumbs. “you look beautiful, doll.” he leans forward and he presses a chaste kiss to your shoulder, which makes you smile, because it’s so him. “i wanna kiss you but i don’t want to mess up your makeup.”

“like that’s ever stopped you before.”

“i’m a gentleman.”

a smirk works its way onto your face and some of the nervous, fluttering monarchs in your stomach have begun to dissipate. you turn and he gently holds your face, examining it. he opens his mouth to say something, laughs, and closes it. “i don’t even know how…” he clears his throat. you swear that tears prick at his eyes. “i don’t even know how to say how much… how perfect you are. i’ll never be able to say it properly.”

everything about james buchanan barnes makes you melt, and this is no different. you sigh and you lean your body against his, and he holds you ever close. “thank you for coming with me,” you whisper into the skin of his neck. “i needed you here.”

he holds the back of your head carefully. “i’d follow you anywhere, doll.” he pulls back and his hand holds your face, and the vibranium is like a kiss to your cheek. “may i kiss you?”

your lips part and you nod-- and he takes his time kissing you. he kisses you long and tender, making sure that you feel everything. sometimes you think that this is easier than talking for him-- this is the way that he can show you how perfect he finds you. it’s better than any words he could string together.

the ride to the venue is somewhat of a blur. bucky doesn’t take his hand off of you-- it’s constantly holding yours. from the car to the walk inside to taking your seats-- you can feel the eyes that are glued to you, but you can feel bucky’s hand in yours more. you can hear the muffled whispers of gossiping friends and family, but you hear bucky’s murmured complaints louder, and they make you laugh.

felix is at the altar already. he’s talking with a groomsman and he laughs at something and you smile a bit. he looks happy, you think. bucky’s arm is slung across the back of your chair and his fingers trail up and down your shoulder, his eyes fixed on you.

you turn to look at him, too. you lay your hand on his knee and your smile says your thanks over and over and over again. bucky’s eyes flick to the altar, and he sees that you’ve finally been noticed. felix may be looking at you, but you will never know. you are looking at bucky.

the ceremony is pretty. bucky’s bored, you think-- that thought is enough to make you chuckle. felix’s fairy girlfriend is exactly what you gathered from the pictures-- she is energetic and kind, she is sweet and beautiful. the more you think, the more you watch the way that felix looks at her, the lighter you feel.

a part of you had feared that you would never get over him. that you would never get over the what if. possibilities tended to haunt you, but now, being here… you had known for a long time that not only had you gotten over him, you had found something so much better than what you had. but it’s the thought that thrums through you that you were not expecting.

you can see this for yourself. one day. bucky at an altar in a suit, you in white.

you smile to yourself in your seat. bucky looks over at you. you look over at him, just for a moment. your heart feels full.

felix begins his vows. “carly,” he begins and he clears his throat. you can tell that he’s already getting emotional. “never did i once expect to find you. never did i expect to find someone who fit with me so… completely.” you watch as his hands shake as he holds the piece of paper. “but i did. and i’m so lucky it was you.”

his vows go on, and they are beautiful. through it all, you can sense bucky beside you, entirely attentive to you.

the reception is on the beach. the sun is setting, and it is stunning. the food is good and every gives speeches and toasts and you’ve been placed at a table with some friends that both you and felix had known. of course, when shit hit the fan with you and felix, you hadn’t exactly kept in touch, but they’re kind nevertheless. some recognize bucky, and the questions they ask make you cringe. “so… winter soldier,” one of them, kya, begins. “you actually did all of that bad shit?”

it takes everything in you not to lunge across the table. bucky’s hand finds your leg underneath the table, already knowing what you’d like to do. you open your mouth to interject, but bucky cuts you off. “hydra did.” he gives a clipped smile. it leaves no room for discussion.

they ask about the avengers and about thanos, and all of it makes you roll your eyes. they talk to bucky as if he’s a toy rather than a human being. as everyone is mingling, you see the couple beginning to approach your table. everyone cheers and scoops them up into hugs. it makes a part of you sad. not because of him, but because it’s another reminder of how life went on without you.

you and bucky stand and approach them. you can almost feel bucky’s hesitation as he sizes up felix. the protectiveness in his stance makes your heart swell. carly smiles at you, but you can tell that there’s a hint of nervousness in her demeanor. “hi!” she says and she looks between you and bucky. “we were both so happy when we got your rsvp. a little surprised, but…”

your eyebrow raises and you look at them. “i wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” you place your hand on bucky’s arm. “felix, carly, this is my boyfriend, james. james, felix and carly.”

he shakes their hands and you note the way their eyes flick to the metal one on the other side. bucky and carly begin to make awkward small talk, and you look at felix. he looks at you. there’s something knowing in the stare. “want to take a walk?” he asks, nodding towards the beach.

you nod. felix turns to carly and you turn to bucky, who has a slightly concerned look written on his face. “it’ll be fine.” you lean in and you kiss him, wanting to take any insecurity from him. “play nice, but not too nice. if they say anything stupid, call them on it.”

bucky smirks. “you got it, doll.” he looks to felix and nods to him, and there’s something in bucky’s eyes that must scare him, because you swear felix pales slightly. and then you and felix set off.

for the first part of your walk, both of you are quiet. it’s as if both of you knew that this was inevitable, and now you’re just trying to figure out where to start. both of you begin to talk at the same time, and it causes awkward chuckles to fill the air between you. you stop by a log and you sit, staring out at the ocean. you cross your legs and you look over at him to find his gaze still on the ocean. finally, it moves to you. “i’m sorry.” you both say it at the same time.

a sad smile settles onto your face and you look away. “you first,” he says.”

“i’m sorry.” you look at him again. “i’m not sorry for the way that i felt. i’m not sorry for hurting. but i am sorry that i lashed out. i was… angry.” you suck in a breath. “people who stayed… they’ll always carry the grief and the trauma of those five years. but the people who came back? we came back to a world that had moved on. i can’t… i can’t explain to you how hard that was. it wasn’t just you. i lost everything.” you shake your head. “i took it all out on you. all that hurt. and i’m sorry for that.”

felix nods his head. “i’m sorry that i wasn’t more understanding of what you were going through. that i just… cut you off.” he swallows. “i had five years to come to terms with the fact that you weren’t coming back. even when you were back, it almost felt… fake. like i was looking at a ghost.” he swallows. “but i missed you. i want you to know that i missed you, and i thought about you.”

a small smile works onto your face. “thanks.” you look towards the crowd, where people are laughing and dancing. “she seems great.”

felix looks over his shoulder. “she is. she keeps me… in check. i can be kind of an asshole. i don’t know how either of you dealt with me.” this makes you laugh and roll your eyes. “you and bucky barnes, huh?”

“i have you to thank for that.” he looks at you in confusion. “the building you recommended me? we were neighbors.” you smile, thinking back on the memory of bucky barnes at your door, asking if you needed help building your cat tower. “he is the best thing that has happened to me,” you say it with no hint of hesitation.

felix smiles. “he looks like he’s crazy about you. he barely looks anywhere else.”

you bite down on your lip. “yeah, i’ve heard that before.” the wind ruffles your hair slightly, and you look at felix and he looks at you. “i’ve spent a lot of time being angry at you. i don’t want to be angry anymore.”

he shakes his head. “i don’t want to either.” he pauses. “maybe… maybe, one day, the four of us could… you know, get dinner or something.”

“yeah,” you nod your head. “one day.” you stand, and he follows suit, and you look up at him. “thank you. for inviting me.”

“thank you for coming.”

there’s a level of awkwardness that rests between you, and you think that perhaps it’s inevitable. but also, you can’t help the sense of relief.

part of you thinks that he’s itching to hug you, and you may be extending some forgiveness tonight, but you’re certainly not there yet. you begin to walk towards the party. “c’mon. you need to go to your bride.”

when you return, you think bucky might be ready to drive his steak knife through his eye. you approach him from behind, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and bending so that your face is beside his. “miss me?”

he snorts. “you have no idea, doll.”

you watch as felix makes his way to carly, and you meet his eye. he gives you a slight nod and a knowing smile, and you return it.

there’s a weight that’s lifted off of your chest.

“c’mon,” you say to bucky, tugging him up. “we’re going to dance.”

he groans and you laugh, pulling him by the hands to the dance floor. just as you are, you make me feel so young begins to play around you. as you step onto the dance floor, you begin singing the words quietly to him. your dancing slows to a light sway, and in your ear, bucky begins murmuring the words to you.

your eyes flutter shut and a sweeping calm comes over you. “you know… i never thought i would get married. did you?”

bucky’s hands have a firm place on your waist. “i grew up in the forties. of course i thought i was going to get married,” you two spin slightly. “but, after everything… i didn’t think that was ever going to be in the cards for me.”

your breath catches. “and now?”

“now?” bucky asks into your ear. “i can only dream i get lucky enough to have you as my bride.”

your cheeks grow warm. “mrs. barnes…” you lean back to look at him. “has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

the look on bucky’s face, you don’t know if you’ve ever seen that look before. “yes.” his voice is so firm it nearly brings you to your knees. “yes, it does.”

you two slow to a halt and bucky tilts your chin up. “guess i have some work to do,” his lips ghost over yours. “mrs. barnes.”

the world around you stops, and in that moment, it is only you and bucky. it is you and bucky at your ex’s wedding, and there is nowhere else you would want to be.

you’re beginning to understand why bucky likes making amends.

[masterhandss]

May I ask, what happens in the short stories included in the Hamefura manga volumes? (e.g. highschool AU, kindergarten AU, genderbend AU, etc.)

Well, okay! I'm not good at summarizing stuff, so sorry in advance! I'm also writing these without rereading the Bonus SS so there may be small inaccuracies in these summaries. Some of these are gonna be longer than others depending on how much of I still remember lmao

I still suggest everyone go buy the manga volumes and give them a read, these extra chapters are so fun it makes me wish the anime fillers are always these wacky and entertaining (in fact I had to put writing this on hold because Season 2 adapted one of these, kinda XDD)

// spoilers for the hamefura manga volume bonus ss/special oneshots

Volume 1 - Untitled

Bakarina wakes up and realizes that she has no control over her body. She is confronted with a familiar scene of Katarina bullying Maria in Fortune Lover, and realizes that she's experiencing it from a first person point of view: through Katarina's eyes. She comments on how cruel Katarina is and explains the different ways she'd treat Maria differently, until Keith and Geordo arrive to save Maria. Bakarina feels unnerved and saddened by the angry and hateful looks that Keith and Geordo are giving her (Well it's Katarina, but Bakarina feels like they are look at her), and nervously wakes up from the dream. It is revealed that the dream took place some time before her arrival at the Magic Academy, and that she vows to work hard not to fall into a Bad End so that she'll never receive such hateful looks and be scorned by the otome game characters who she now considers to be her closest friends.

Volume 2 - Doom Route★Private School

Katarina gets awoken by Anne telling her that she needs to get ready to school. Katarina is surprised to find out that she has a school uniform and that she'll be heading to school in a fancy car. Anne tells Katarina that Keith won't be coming with her because he's already at school. When she gets there, she gets greeted by Keith who is part of the School's Disciplinary Committee. She is also greeted by Geordo, the SC President and his twin brother Alan, the Secretary. Keith's job is to check everyone's uniforms, so he reprimands the twins for their custom uniforms. Geordo tells him that he'll just have the rule changed, and that Keith's uptight attitude is why he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is how Katarina finds out that the engagement between Geordo and her is a verbal agreement between families, so she's technically engaged to him but it's not official.

After meeting up with all her friends, Katarina enters the classroom to find it looking just like her old one in Japan. She finds that she had scribbled doom flag avoidance plans on her desk and notebooks, and realizes that she's still in an otome game. Maria then enters and is introduced as the new scholarship student, and Katarina runs out to read her notebook. Everything is the same, from capture targets to rival characters , except the setting is a modern. Katarina finds out that her bad ends only lead to her getting either expelled and transferred or getting a restraining order. Katarina becomes confident in befriending Maria, and enthusiastically plans to enjoy her new life in a modern school. The chapter ends with Katarina buying lots of melon bread from the cafeteria, and wakes up form the dream before she could eat it.

Volume 3 - My Next Life in a Fantasy RPG

Katarina is awaken by Miri, who tells her that she is late and that she needs to eat breakfast. Katarina dresses up and realizes that her clothes looks like a cute outfit form an RPG. After being greeted by her father and being given a simple japanese breakfast (which made a bit emotional), Miri scolds her and tells her to hurry since she and Keith needs to check up on a few things before they leave. When Katarina asks where they are going, Luigi tells her that she and Keith are headed on a journey to become heroes and defeat the demon lord. She is told that they are the two chosen from the village as representatives. Katarina, being confused about being in an RPG-like world instead of an otome-line one, realizes that she is in a dream and is excited to play a heroine role in the fight against the monsters. Katarina is awoken by Keith during their carriage ride, and told that they were at the castle. Despite being representatives of their village, they still need to be selected as a true hero. She asks on how they were selected as the representative, and Keith tells her that it's done by lottery. Katarina admires the RPG-style outfits of everyone in the crowd, before the high priest arrives and announces the details of the selection.

Everyone is divided into small groups and left to face monsters in order to assess their abilities. Katarina, who has never fought before, is scared of the task because she's never fought monster before. Unlike Keith who looked like a knight, her weapon is a hoe. She asks the officiate beside her if she can just eliminate herself and watch from the side, to which Keith sighs in disbeliefs and the man giggles at the confession. As the officiate yelled at the sight of a world, everyone got ready for battle. While Katarina admired the fight from afar, she realized that something else was growling besides the wolf. Timeskip to hours later, Katarina was selected as a hero with the title of "Monster Tamer", and the officiate reveals himself to be Prince Geordo and asks to be a part of her party. As Katarina and her party march on to face the demon king, they encounter a witch, who reveals herself to be Miri with a book of manners. Katarina then wakes up from the dream.

Volume 4 - Dreamland Genderbender

Katarina wakes up to the sight of a male butler waking her up to tell her that she is late for school. When she asks him who he is, he says that he is Anne, Katarina's faithful butler. Katarina realizes that Anne is a man, and that she isn't a she, but a HE! Katarina freaks out at the fact that he is a man and realizes that there is something on his waist that definitely shouldn't be there. Before Katarina could ponder about it for too long, Anne helps him prepare for school. He gets greeted by Keith, and he becomes overwhelmed by how cute (and yet somehow very Keith-looking) she was. When they got to the Academy, Katarina is greeted by Geordo and Alan, who are princesses instead of princes. Due to the fact that everyone's names were still the same despite being gender-switched, she realizes she's in a dream and plays along. Mary greets Katarina good morning, and Katarina notes how gentlemanly and dashing he looked. Katarina was then greeted by Nicol, whose smile was so lovely it made everyone blush. As she pondered on whether the female Nicol was more charming than her male counterpart, Sophia greets Katarina.

On their way to class, Katarina looks into a window and feels bad about how mostly the same he looked despite being a boy. Geordo clings onto his right arm as she tries to lead him to class (emphasizing her chest while doing so, which Katarina notes as being possibly bigger than Mary's), while Keith takes the other arm and gets angry at the princess for her behavior. Katarina is overwhelmed by Keith's adorable height, and lets go of both of them to hug her. Geordo takes a hold of Katarina, vocalizing his jealousy over his touchy-ness with Keith and demands the same treatment because they are engaged and because she is much more attractive than Keith. The argument between Geordo and Keith becomes heated, discussing whether or not a huge chest is much more attractive in a woman. Alan doesn't want to be a part of it, and Nicol stops their discussion as it is embarrassing to hear for the other students. Katarina doesn't know how to react since she is a boy in this situation. When they get to the classroom, they are greeted by Maria, which prompts Katarina to contemplate on what the differences are in the world now that they all swapped genders. When they get to student council room, Katarina compliments Raphael on how small and adorable she looks, bringing back the heated discussion between the girls about chest sizes. Katarina shouts that he has no preference, and then wakes up from the dream.

Volume 5 - Doom Route Kindergarten

Anne introduces herself as a daycare worker at Doom Route Kindergarten, and awaits the arrival of the students. First car arrives with Geordo and Alan, children from a well-off family. Anne is asked to take care of the two, who she nicknames "Sebastian the Butler". Anne notes on how well mannered the two are, and how they are apparently children of a government figure. Next car arrives with Mary, who is a the very feminine fashionista among the children, who loves flowers and fashion. Next car arrives with Nicol and Sophia, who were admired by the staff because their loving parents drop and pick them up from school themselves. Nicol is rumored to be a future seducer by the staff, and Anne notes on how they used to never interact with other children until recently. Next comes a woman on a bike, revealing herself to be Maria's mother who is there to drop Maria off. Despite being the daughter of a normal company employee, Maria was able to enroll into a private kindergarten through a scholarship due to her talent in baking despite her young age. Maria used to have a hard time adjusting to being a school for rich kids, but she had become more enthusiastic about school more recently.

When Maria asked Anne if Katarina will like the treats she made, on cue, another car arrives. Miri angrily drags a half asleep Katarina out of the car, reprimanding her for napping as soon as she finished eating breakfast. Miri apologizes for her daughters rudeness, and Anne replies that she's used to it. Anne tries to wake up Katarina by telling her that Maria made treats for her, which works and jolts Katarina awake. Katarina constantly clings onto Anne and asks her to play with her, while the other children tries to get Katarina to play with them instead. Anne notes how happy she is that Katarina likes her so much, even if she gets glared at by the children as a result. After receiving so much offers of different activities to do, Katarina settles on challenging Alan, which everyone follows them to. Anne runs after them telling them not to climb any trees again. After that, Katarina wakes up from the dream.

Volume 6 - Magical★Girl Flag Breakers

I already made an attempt to translate this chapter, since Manga Volume 6 has yet to come out in english, so I suggest reading it! I'll still summarize it though I guess

Katarina is on her way to school, running with a cucumber in her mouth, until she accidentally bumps into what looks like a small doll. The doll talks back to her, making her realize that it is sentient. Katarina and the doll, who reveals himself to be Raphael the Spirit, have a quick banter that escalates into a discussions about the nature of spirits and the danger that the planet will soon face. As Raphael finishes his explanation, monsters summoned by the evil organization began to attack in a nearby park. Katarina and Raphael checks it, and finds a giant stuffed bear rampaging. Katarina attempts to flee, but Raphael asks her to help him. In a panic, Katarina says yes, and the two form a contract. Katarina transforms into a magical girl and attempts to fight the monster. Despite being confused, she was able to win, and thus beginning her journey as a magical girl.

Timeskip to a few weeks/months later, Katarina mentions that she had found more magical girls among students in her school which includes Mary from the Gardening Club, Sophia from the Literature Club and Maria from the Student Council. The three were recruited by a spirit named Anne. The four are close friends who walk together to school. During one of their walks, they are interrupted by Geordo, one of the Four Kings of Ruin who are part of the Evil Organization. Mary, Sophia and Maria get angry at him for ruining the moment between the girls, and Geordo calls upon his allies in order to be alone with Katarina. From the sky descends the other members of the Four Kings: Alan, Keith and Nicol. Rather than being excited for battle, the three instead berated Geordo for calling them during their free time. Geordo asks them to fight off the other three girls so that he can be alone with Katarina, but instead they interact with Katarina whom they have already met prior. In the end, Geordo is arguing with Mary and Sophia, Alan and Keith are flushed in the corner at the sight of Katarina, and Nicol and Maria are sharing food (since he dropped his pasta after being summoned by Geordo). Katarina wonders if she really is a magical girl since they haven't actually been fighting whenever they encounter each other, and then wakes up from the dream.

Rereading this now, I may have made these summaries a little too long... I hope this doesn't discourage anyone from reading the Bonus SS yourselves!! Please read them, they are so funny and good!!

Detective Katarina's Office isn't available yet, I might edit this post when that drops.

Thank you for the ask (help my fingers hurt from typing jshdfg)

[lonewolfel]

SWTOR Alliance Commander Ask Game

Thanks for tagging me @callavia. 

I actually have two commanders for two different legacies. So I’m going to do the Commander that I am working on right now. If I get tagged again then I will do my other Commander.  

1) Who’s your Alliance Commander? What class are they? Alignment? Random other facts you wanna share?

Thexan

Yes that Thexan (I’m counting him as an oc considering they only did like 4 things with him and he still doesn’t have much of a personality or presence.) At first he just acts as a companion to my Jedi Consular Onorshash Haly. He actually becomes the Commander to ensure that she is saved from her carbonite prison. He has a neutral alignment. He focuses on practicality of a situation though sometimes his emotions do strongly influence his actions. 

2) What’s a reason or two you like that this character is your Commander?

I like him as the Commander cause it gives Thexan a chance to have more impact on the story beside being dead but also brother vs brother.

3) What’s a reason or two you don’t like about them being Commander?

It kind of makes it seem like the only Valkorion’s family matters in SWTOR.

4) Why did this character of all your OCs become Commander?

I’ll be honest the idea came from this post made by @bluezeri. I was like I really like that idea and ran with it.

5) Who did they side with? Did they stay loyal or go saboteur? Or maybe you headcanon they defect properly?

Thexan sides with the Republic. 

6) Are there any NPC’s from the class stories you’d like to see/HC join the Alliance? Ex: Master Timmns, Ardun Kothe, Watcher One, etc.

Uhm...Yuon Par after you defeat Vivicar she just kind of disappears from the story in a way that none of the other mentor characters from the prologue did. She was the only one that I can think of mostly cause I have rarely played any of the alliance recruitment missions. 

7) How’s your OC feeling about the current Malgus situation?

(Uhm...I have no idea what to put here. My computer died a while ago before the newest expansion so I haven’t gotten to play it and I have been trying to avoid spoilers as much as possible about that. So I have no idea what the current Malgus situation is.)

8) Are any of your other OC’s part of the Alliance? If yes, what do they do for the Alliance? Do they get along with your Commander?

Yes, Allianya (Darth Oculus) Kallig, Battlemaster Ere Trotargu, Master Onorshash "Barsen'thor" Haly, Major Jaqee Soti, Jritth'enun'iseg (Thenuni), Empire's Wrath Jaideva Romapark, Bounty Hunter Ciece Kal, and The Shadow Broker are all at least at one point a part of the Alliance. 

Allianya acts as a teacher in the Force enclave and a diplomat between the Alliance and the Sith council and she understands that Thexan has the best intention but she is reluctant to trust him completely. After all he is someone that has always had political power.

Ere is a late joiner to the Alliance. He is reluctant to follow orders from the Emperor’s twin brother but Thexan had managed to gain the Jedi’s trust. He runs a special force user strike force within the Alliance.

Onorshash  is the main reason that Thexan is even a Commander. She is the Outlander and acts as a diplomat and head of the medbay. She is Thexan’s best friend.

Jaqee joined the Alliance after a Republic mission that she disagreed with. She quickly gave her loyalty over to Thexan and is currently the head of a specialized unit.

Thenuni holds really no loyalty to Thexan though he is to the Alliance. He acts as a spy to first Zakuul then the Sith Empire.

Jaideva actually doesn’t like the Alliance. She believes that it is run by too soft individuals you won’t do what is necessary. The only reason that she is in the Alliance is because of her girlfriend. She is on the strike team with Ere.

Ciece started off as a paid bounty hunter but once the Mandalorians join the Alliance they become a permanent fixture. They still mostly act as a bounty hunter just only taking jobs in the Alliance’s best interest. They are indifferent towards Thexan. 

The Shadow Broker and Thexan do not see eye to eye. (All I can say about their relationship without giving away spoilers.

9) How does your OC feel about Odessen? (Bonus: how do you feel about it)

Thexan likes Odessen. It reminds him a lot of Zakuul but at the same time it is so different. It feels freeing in a way that Zakuul never had and for the first time he wasn’t isolated and under the will of his father.

10) How does your Commander feel about being the Commander?

Thexan doesn’t really feel like he deserves to be the Commander. He doesn’t feel like anyone in his family should be in power. He becomes the Commander out of necessary to ensure that Onorshash is saved and he has the most knowledge of Zakuul.

11) Favorite place in the Alliance base?

Thexan actually likes to be in the forest outside the Alliance base. There he isn’t the Commander. He can be himself and it reminds him of when he was a kid with his brother and sister.

12) Favorite mission in KotFE?

Battle of Odessen

13) Favorite mission in KotET?

Where Dreams Die

14) Least favorite mission in either? Why?

The Gravestone it just felt so tedious and when you aren’t romancing either Lana or Koth it just feels like a bore with the only good thing happening is Hk dealing with those spider creatures (I’m too lazy to look up their name).

15) Is your Commander successful because they’re skilled? Or are they perhaps just really lucky?

Thexan is a skilled fighter and battle strategist. Part of his success is that he has people that are skilled in the areas that he lacks around him.

16) From our OC’s point of view, SoR -> KotET wasn’t a fun experience, did they develop any fears as a result?

Thexan is scared that the power will go to his head turning him into his father. 

17) AU time! If your Commander wasn’t Commander, which of your other OCs would have likely taken their place?

Onorshash would have probably ended up becoming the Commander. 

18) Who’s someone your Commander hopes they never have to deal with again?

Valkorion duh and The Shadow Broker

19) Does your Commander hold on to/still use any titles they earned before KotET?

Not really though the people outside the Alliance and are either Republic or Empire call him Twin Conqueror once it comes out that he is Arcann’s twin brother. Zakuul calls him Prince or Fallen Prince.

20) Share something, anything at all, you want about your Commander that you’ve not really gotten the chance to share before but really want to.

I’m currently debating whether or not he steps down from being the Commander to guide Zakuul after the war.

I don’t know who has been tagged and who hasn’t. So anyone who wants to participate please feel free. This is an open tag.