#It's not half as sad as the bit I've copied makes it seem

[foreverchangingfandomsao3]

"Kriff..." Obi-Wan swore under his breath as he dropped the durasteel piece he was trying to fit in his vaporator to make fix it again. He picked it up without looking, the raw edge of the metal cutting across his palm.

He fixed the vaporator and found the cleanest rag he had, wiping the blood away, using the little water he had to wash it, not very effectively, and tying another rag tightly across his palm. He could manage most things with only a single hand, but his job was not one of those things.

---

CC-2224 stepped onto Tatooine, unfazed by the two suns and the heat of the planet despite the heavy armour he wore.

He had a mission.

There was a Jedi on the planet, and Darth Vader had personally ordered him to kill them.

No ordinary Jedi. That was all he had said. No name. Just a Jedi.

It should have been harder to find the Jedi.

There was no trail of compassion.

No good deeds.

No lightsaber to speak of.

Just a man that had arrived after the fall of the Jedi with a baby. A man that lived out in the wastes.

---

"Of course he'd send you." Obi-Wan watched from the floor as a purge trooper entered his cave.

He should have cleaned that cut better, in hindsight. It had started to feel like it was burning after two days and now looked worse than it had when he'd wounded himself. Still, he'd done the best with what he had. He needed to invest in more medical supplies when he got paid again.

Not that he was going to go back to work. Either the infection would kill him, or Cody would. The infection would be kinder, even though it was stealing the breath from his lungs and had left him unable to stand a few hours ago, and he hadn't moved from where he'd collapsed.

Still, it was Cody. At least he'd be quick.

"Do you remember being Cody?" Obi-Wan asked, wondering if he'd get a truthful answer. Maybe it was better if he didn't remember. It would be easier on the other if he had no memory of datapads shared over tea, sleeping together, or the gentle kisses.

"Good soldiers follow orders."

"Yes, I know," Obi-Wan murmured, wondering if he still looked the same under the helmet. "You always were a good soldier."

CC-2224 lifted his blaster, aiming it at the Jedi's head and flicking the safety off.

"I forgive you," The ginger said softly, closing his eyes and imagining he was somewhere more peaceful. "Cody, my dear? Don't miss this time."

[findafight]

People making Robin mean to Steve is one of the biggest reasons I loved your one sided Ron*nce post. Because I genuinely cannot see Robin just overlooking how much Nancy hurt Steve just because Robin has a crush on her. Like even in small ways, I think Nancy did a number on Steve. I look at their relationship and see Steve being told he’s over dramatic, stupid, and that his hobbies and anything that makes him Steve is automatically less than Nancy’s hobbies and desires. Idk I just can’t see Robin hearing about that or about anyone treating Steve badly and not taking Steve’s side. Stobin should have the same brain always

Ahhh yes thank you!! Yeah it simply doesn't make sense to me with the history there. Because like. Even if we do not think Nancy cheated on Steve (which I believe she did, regardless of what TPTB say) she still broke his heart. Regardless of whether or not Steve thinks it's justifiable that she did, Robin wouldn't let that go. She holds a grudge like a motherfucker. The girl she liked had a crush on Steve and he also ate bagels messily in class and didn't know her name and she held onto that for at least two if not three years. No way that after she has finally found her forever person she'll let him being hurt go!! If she can hold onto a petty grudge she can hold onto a heartbreak grudge for her best friend. She does not like people who are mean to Steve and would not be one of them in the way she is sometimes made to be in fics(outside of legitimate misunderstandings, disagreements, normal friendship conflicts) (sorry I've rewritten this like 3 times trying to figure out how to say this without dissecting the st/ncy dynamic in s2. [which i ended up doing and then copy pasting that into a blank doc because oh. i have points. but off topic for this. But it's still a bit ranty] this gets a bit long, but I did delete a weird siderant in it so it's more on topic? I do have a stobin and r//ance point I SWEAR and I hope this is cohesive)

Like, I think Steve 100% blames himself for the breakup. We see this in s4. but also the show tries to make us believe that that's the truth and not Steve seeing Nancy through rose-coloured glasses which is wild. Unreliable Narrator Steve about his own love life is just. it makes sense with everything that we see happen between him and Nancy and how she very much has fault in the ending of their relationship, and should have taken more responsibility and at least broken up with Steve after she slept with Jonathan, but allowed Steve to shoulder the blame for being a "shitty boyfriend" when he really wasn't.

The way the breakup is framed as Steve's fault from the beginning of S2 is kinda wild to me because...Steve was right?? I ALSO wouldn't want to be discussing telling people the top secret government conspiracy that people had been murdered to keep it quiet over in the school library. That's not shitty boyfriend behaviour that's smart person scared of the government that can and will kill you if you blab behaviour. And Nancy even admitted she waited for Jonathan to make a move before going back to Steve, and then she cheated on him with jon! These are not things that Steve knows about or is responsible for! Why does the show make it seem like Steve is entirely at fault here!

Anyways I think Steve must not have told Robin everything and just used his "I was a shitty boyfriend" line on why they broke up for robin and while yeah, she's not good at reading people, she does know when to not push her sad looking friend into talking about a rough breakup. Which is why Robin is on the St/cy train in s4. If she had known everything, (once again not even touching the cheating) I cannot see her pushing Steve towards Nancy. She loves Steve and wants him happy, and thinks maybe if Nancy keeps giving him eyes, knowing Steve has changed in the past year and a half, Robin thinks maybe something can come of it! that's sweet! She's trying to get her friend back together with an ex he cares about, that obviously seems into him too, and doesn't know the extent of their breakup. Unfortunately canon did not make it clear Steve or Robin or Dustin or Eddie know Nancy and Jonathan are still dating? Which makes it very weird, and not make sense, so I am choosing to believe through a game of telephone with the kids Robin and Steve think Nancy and Jonathan broke up and that's why she didn't go to cali.

But Robin doesn't have all the facts so when he does tell her all about the end of his and Nancy's relationship, yes, and Robin is squinting at him because he is acting like it is his fault his heart got broken, but from all the facts given, it doesn't actually seem that way. She's not the best at reading people but she knows Steve, and it just...doesn't add up for her. Because all the things he said he did make sense to Robin, not wanting the government to kill you is actually very reasonable etc... And Steve is still so sad about it and clearly it still affected him getting his heartbroken like that. So Robin, who can hold a bagel crumb grudge like literally no one else, will obviously hold some resentment towards Nancy for hurting Steve like that even if Steve doesn't blame her, because Robin knows what it's like to just...not understand what you did wrong and still blame yourself for it. She's neurodiverse! If we use Rebel Robin, she lost Barb as a friend for seemingly no reason to her other than Barb finding a better friend(I think?) and it wasn't so dramatic as a breakup, but still. I think seeing that Steve had legitimately tried with the tools he was given to support Nancy and be a good boyfriend but blamed himself, and Nancy letting him do that, would strike a chord with Robin. She would Not let it go.

Robin might want to be Nancy's friend, especially if Steve is encouraging it, and insisting that it's fine and they did save the world together, but you're right! she could never overlook the fact that, not only is Nancy Steve's ex which makes things awkward anyway, but she also broke his heart and let him take the blame for it even if he doesn't realize it. (not to mention!! the cheating!!! I am still looking for post s2 st/ncy fic that let's them actually talk about it but it seems like that's just not addressed by the shippers? which is unfortunate because I'd read it, but I don't ship it enough to care to write it myself. Ya feel?) She could probably move past it for friendship if Steve was okay, but I also just...don't think they'd be super close friends.

Tbh I don't see Nancy really wanting to stick around with the Hawkins crew more than exchanging holiday cards and maybe a wedding or big event or something. It'd be nice for her to have people she knows she can rely on, but her goals are so much bigger than that and she'd want to get away and move on, especially if it was for sure over and done. She wants a lot more than Hawkins, and canonically only stays in contact with people involved with the Upside Down if they're dating her or related to her. I know we love to make everyone happy friends big found family but in canon...I don't think Nancy is really looking back at her hometown once she leaves for uni.

I don't think I can even picture Robin having a crush on her in anything other than "pretty badass girl appreciation" way because knowing thabout the st/ncy breakup would probably kill any butterflies before they hatch for Robin.

She couldn't do that to Steve. She couldn't do that to herself! I've seen people complain that a lot of the... not criticism but reasoning for not liking r0nance makes it about Steve so here's this. Robin wouldn't like Nancy not only because of all the Steve stuff, but because they simply do not vibe romantically.

Robin needs someone who will be able to smile and shrug off some of her rants or rambles or even find them endearing. Nancy needs to be alone for a while but in a partner someone is able to push back against her to challenge her and encourage her to her ambitions (this is something with Nancy robin I think would struggle with, with how Nancy was dismissive of Robin and her ideas, which might lead to insecurity for Robin) Robin is involved with people from the Upside Down, she's best friends with Steve, she obviously is familiar with Dustin and Erica and possibly Max. Nancy wanting distance from that aspect of her life wouldn't gel with the company Robin keeps.

I also think not wanting to risk hurting your friend or ruining your relationship with your best friend over a crush is completly legitimate reason for not pursuing a relationship (romo or not) of any kind. Like. jeez. God forbid you care what about your friends feel. It's frustrating when people treat that like it's a stupid reason when it's not!!

Robin wouldn't date Nancy because it may not ruin her relationship with Steve from Steve's side, but from hers. It'd make her question herself and what kind of friend she is. Would she want Steve to date an ex of hers that broke her heart? Even if she blamed herself for it? She wouldn't. Does she think Steve would ever do that? absolutely not, because Steve doesn't want to even risk hurting her. She values her friendship with Steve way more than a crush or a potential girlfriend. She's confident in their relationship far more than a fledgling romantic relationship. She doesn't want to even risk the chance of losing Steve, regardless if he says he's okay with her dating Nancy. Robin doesn't want to be the person who puts romance before her best friend, because she adores Steve, he's her person, they want to combine, and she knows Steve would never do that to her. It's Robin's choice! And I believe she would choose Steve.

Also, this one point is about shippers, it's sorta...super frustrating when so much of the reasoning of people wanting it to be canon prioritizes Nancy. Even when they try to make it about Robin it's about Nancy because it seems like they just. ignore that Robin's best friend is Steve, and that Nancy was annoyed by Robin rambling and being a bit Weird. different interpretations I guess but Nancy was jealous of Robin because of her closeness to Steve and also found her annoying! they got closer in the end and Nancy definitely respected her for the rant in the office, but she would still find those traits annoying. A lot of these points come from viewing r//ance as a potential canon ship when...it's not. (I think it is legitimately so hindering that a lot of shipping is about it being canon or whatever when no? it's just fun to explore a dynamic between characters! which is also why I don't get romo r//nce bc I think they'd have a really weird and kinda awkward relationship. which is fun and neat to explore even if it's messy!)

but still, it wouldn't happen in canon and that's fine!! it's okay to like fanon content! not everything has to be canon. and it's frustrating when people insist on there being a strong possibility of canon r//ance when there isn't. That's not a bad thing! It's just a thing! I'm sorry but based on what is going on with Robin and Vickie very likely being either in a relationship or on the cusp of one in s5, and everything going on between Nancy, jon, and Steve, there's no room for it. It wouldn't make sense to shoehorn it in when Vickie is literally Right There and smiling and enjoying being around Robin more than we saw Nancy being.

People doing this also insist it'd be good for Robin when really they just don't want Nancy to be with Steve or Jonathan and it's like yeah neither do I. I think Nancy should be single. Don't put that shit on Robin. Having them get together at the end is just not allowing Nancy time to be single and find herself and explore the big wide world, and not be tied to Hawkins. Nancy deserves a big post grad adventure without worrying about the upside down.

Let Robin have a cute redhead girlfriend who understands that sometimes she cannot stop her mouth but thinks she's funny and knows that she's gonna sometimes be Very Weird with Steve. Just because a character was created to be a love interest doesn't mean they cannot be interesting. Look at our boy Steve! He was initially supposed to be Nancy's jerk boyfriend who dies and look at him now. :')

Also. It'd be sooooo weird for Nancy there. Steve's her ex! Her gf being best friends with her ex would be weird for her!

and the argument that Vickie is boring is...like ok. more than one person is allowed to ramble when a bit fluster but okay. then so is Barb. She was also barely there. so is tommy. like. people are allowed to not like characters or like ships or whatever. But c'mon. Cut the girl some slack!

Vickie is an eveasdropper who wants to barg into stobin's weird thing. I believe she returned fast times stopped at fifty three minutes and whatever seconds on purpose to suss out if Robin got it. She got so distracted by complaining about her ex she over peanut butter two slices of bread. She thinks Steve is funny. She's a bit of a freak and I think if we continue to see more of her she'll fit nicely with stobin!

Literally I only think R0nance would potentially date in an au where steve and nancy never dated and robin and nancy did instead in a first teenage loves kind of way, but ended up being too different and prioritizing contrasting or conflicting things and realizing that they don't work as a couple. Like. Even there it doesn't really make sense to me? I mean I'm writing the post o66 au with that, the first teenage love r//ance because I do think that, given the right circumstances they would potentially fall in love. But I don't think it would last long term. They're too different about too many things to be compatible I guess.

Anyways yeah I can't vibe with Romo ships that have to disregard or ignore key factors of characters or their deep and loving platonic friendships with others. Sorry I wrote so much about this it probably makes no sense. Peace and love and remember stobin are platonic soulmates who are each other's number ones :)

[cacodaemonia]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag, @flowerparrish! :D

How many works do you have on ao3? 213, but somewhere between like 85 and 100 of those are just images.

What’s your total ao3 word count? 1,049,952

What fandoms do you write for? Clone Wars

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Many of the top works are art-only, but if I sort through, looks like most of the fics are those that I have never reread or re-edited, so 😬

That’s Not How It Happened (This Is How It Happened) - My first fic, which I have re-edited since first posting it. Chip arc fix-it

Orbital Decay - Haven't touched this since I posted it. Codywan

Modulation - Also don't think I've re-edited this at all. Echo/Fives

Will You Walk With Me? - The only one of the top five that I care much about XD; Waxer and Boil (platonic or pre-relationship)

Kintsugi - Not re-edited. Codywan

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! I love replying to comments with my usual unhinged yammering :D

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending You're Just Harder to See Than Most, but it's part of a larger series where the sad stuff in this gets better. As a stand-alone, though, it's very angsty 🙈

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hah, so many XD Maybe Count Every Beautiful Thing?

Do you get hate on fics? No, I've only gotten it for art, and thankfully AO3 isn't infested with pearl-clutching busybodies like Tumblr is, so I've only had one (honestly hilarious) hate comment there. It was on like the 6th chapter of a a very clearly tagged sketch dump in which several of the previous chapters were fairly explicit smut. And then on that last chapter, the person was like "Ew, they're brothers! This is disgusting." Hah, okay pal, seems like you were really enjoying it if you got to chapter 6. 🤣

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Sure do! Uh, a variety, I guess, though I suppose I haven't written anything that would be considered heavy kink?

Do you write crossovers? Nope

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of, but I've had TONS of art stolen.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes!

What’s your all-time favorite ship? This is very hard to answer because I tend to latch onto ships for many years at a time. But no other characters before the clones ever inspired me to write fics, so I'll go with Waxer/Boil 🧡

What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I have an AU fic where the war ends shortly after Geonosis that I really want to write but can't make the brain go very well on it, for some reason. I have pages and pages of notes, some sketches, and like a chapter and a half drafted, but I keep getting stuck. I wouldn't say that I doubt I'll ever finish it, though. I probably just have to shake things around to knock loose whatever is gunked up.

What are your writing strengths? Maybe natural dialogue?

What are your writing weaknesses? I want to describe all the things. I want to put what I see in my head into your eyeballs. But I also tend to over-describe like, logistic-type stuff, I think—stuff that no one but me cares about XD

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Like a real language or a conlang? I don't know any of either well enough to include much of them in my fics, but when I use a bit of Ryl (which I've largely made up), I really limit it because I get annoyed when there's a ton of conlang in fics I'm trying to read. Scrolling to the end notes constantly is not very fun.

First fandom you wrote for? Clone Wars

Favorite fic you’ve written? Hmm, well I have a soft spot for Will You Walk With Me? but I think my two objectively best fics are My Heart's Red Muscle (78K Waxer/Boil cyborg AU) and We Could Breathe Underwater (5K Force-sensitive Waxer/Boil).

That was fun!

No-pressure tags: @lizardberries @elismor @valkeakuulas @blackkatmagic @amukmuk

And because I always long for a blank version of these tag things to copy/paste, just the questions below the cut:

How many works do you have on ao3?

What’s your total ao3 word count?

What fandoms do you write for?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Do you get hate on fics?

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Do you write crossovers?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

What are your writing strengths?

What are your writing weaknesses?

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

First fandom you wrote for?

Favorite fic you’ve written?

[merlions]

My grandpa died on Wednesday. And this is just a side note I'm not able to put anything into a way that makes sense. But it's been really strange - just, the turbulent circumstances of his last few years, the unpredictable nature of his health ups and downs and my family kinda going crazy as a result of the stress of it - I'm finding myself feeling not the complicated grief I'd expect, I feel like I almost...already have been mourning him for years, dealing with the complicated feelings, and now he's actually passed I just have the pure unadulterated sadness. I'm not feeling it strongly but I never do - I remember when my grandma died when I was seven, even then I found it weird that I couldn't cry until I was actually at the funeral. I'm just like that, I've always been.

Weirder though is like - I can usually tell when I'm having Big Feelings but just avoiding them. I feel them lurking behind me, hot breath on the back of my neck while I'm focusing on this single blade of grass in my hands with everything I have so I don't have to turn and see them waiting to pounce. But I'm not getting that now.

But I'm almost getting like...purely cognitive effects, as if I were having those emotions? I had a panic attack today about the volume of homework I realized I had to do this weekend - it's easily at least 20 hours of work - and usually I'd just be like eh whatever I'd probably just be researching medical info anyways as a fun hobby I love, which is why I'm studying it in school. But this time it just felt utterly impossible.

And I was like wtf I love doing this though? And realized I just don't care right now, it just seems meaningless. But not in any way depression or sadness usually makes me feel. No huge heavy misery. It was more like just kinda, "I'm busy right now." But like, I'm not, yknow?

It feels less like diluvian torrential grief downpour and more like walking with small ankle weights. Already on the verge of nonfunctional the tiny added difficulty is rendering me incompetent. So maybe it just feels like a bigger thing must be lurking cause this way I'm feeling doesn't match with the ways my brain is different now than it was on Tuesday.

Maybe it's my other typical kind of emotional avoidance, the flitting around on top to not get dragged into focus and then caught unawares and mugged by emotions I'm trying not to feel. But I listened to a song earlier and cried a bit and that really should NOT have been possible if I were actually in emotion lockdown mode.

I don't know, I process by saying things so I think this is just processing. I don't know if it's becoming digestible. I feel half in a dreamstate. He loved ice cream and ate some every single day so my whole extended family ate ice cream on the day he died, without even planning it, we just all instinctively thought to do that. Apparently he also really loved raw onions but no one did that one. He told me once that until he was 12 he lived in terror that his parents had secretly named him "Isaac" and were hiding it from him and calling him by the first of two middle names so he wouldn't find out. He was fairly significant in the invention of the internet and invented a filetype still in use today. He wrote a book on software programming and told me it only ever sold like 100 copies. He won two national fencing championships. He had a lifelong blood feud with the squirrels who would steal seeds from his bird feeders. I love him and miss him very much.

[transsexualscreamo]

today i was sad . today i was so so tired and then i was sad .

my family are all trans and we came together one by one more or less by accident . i'm not sure how i feel about the people that conceived me .

we had a gathering saturday night that was nice .

sunday and monday i did work prep and then i was sad . today i put all my belongings in boxes and then i was sad . some of them i hadnt thought about for a long time .

when i cleaned out my junk drawer i found a copy of the informed consent form i signed two and a half years ago . i didnt realize then that changing my outer self didnt matter if i was still rotten on the inside . i found stickers from bands that had broken up, too . those things feel thematically aligned .

in less than 48 hours i turn 21 . another year is going by where i dont get to really celebrate because of the tumultuous circumstances that always seem to surround this month . but i'm not sure what i would want to do anyway . being the center of attention isnt usually something i'm used to unless im on stage .

stacking 3 major life changes on top of each other during a month where my emotions are already heightened was a bit of a dumb move on my part, in retrospect .

i've been sick to varying degrees for all of these past four days . i don't feel weak anymore but my sinuses and throat are still bothering me . it feels emblematic of how i'm waiting for everything else to end, too .

i haven't gone outside for all of these psst four days . either too weak or too anxious . too much work to be done .

tomorrow i will get on a train and see my friend . the day after that i'll have more of my plan to move in place . these things will make me feel better .

maybe someday i'll have a birthday where my friends and i just grill in the park and i won't have a million things to think about .

[the-sky-queen]

Alright! Let's review Spider-man: Turn off the Dark, shall we?

For those who didn't see my original post on this, here's the scoop: Spider-man: Turn off the Dark was this theater musical some people tried to make once upon a time. It was essentially just a complete failure. The story was a mess, the stunts got actors hurt and the music . . . well, that's the point of this post. You see, the music was written by Bono and The Edge, members of the band U2. If you know them, you probably know them for songs like I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For or With or Without You. (Or if you've seen Sing 2, you know Where the Streets Have no Name and Stuck In a Moment You Can't Get Out of.)

My sister is a massive fan of U2. I think she might have listened to all of their songs. So, I thought it would be fun to listen to the soundtrack of Turn off the Dark with her for the first time and see if the songs were any good.

(Keep in mind that this is all just my opinion. If you've got something different that you think, I'd love to hear it! This was honestly a very fun and fascinating soundtrack to listen to, and I'm sure there's people out there who like it more than I do.)

With all that said, let's get into this!

So, pretty much immediately, we ran into a bit of a snag. We didn't realize this until halfway through our listen through, but the songs are completely out of order on the soundtrack. So, here we were, trying to piece together some kind of coherent story for the songs we were listening to, and it was just a lost cause. XD It's not my first time listening to a sound track that has every song out of order (our family has a disc for the Shrek Soundrack that's like that) but it's still baffling. Why would you arrange the soundtrack like this? But anyway, as I said, we didn't even realize the songs were out of order until we got about half way through the soundtrack. Not realizing they were out of order, we came up with this crazy idea for a plot where Peter Parker was depressed because Uncle Ben dies just before the events of the musical, he's in a relationship with MJ, but is too sad to be entirely with her right now, he becomes Spiderman, and Norman Osborn is upset that his research got leaked and is slowly going insane. Totally not accurate, but it was fun to speculate.

In terms of the soundtrack as a whole, my sister and I came to a few agreements. First off, the songs were very much written by U2. It's got so many of their signature sounds and style. I've heard reviewers of Turn off the Dark say that the soundtrack sounds less like a musical soundtrack and more like the next U2 album, and I have to agree with them. (Though my sister doesn't really agree with the 'next U2 album' part. She sees things that are unique here, and I'll just have to take her word for it since I don't really listen to a lot of U2.) My sister found a lot of instances in the vast majority of the songs that seemed to be lifted out of other U2 songs from before and after this soundtrack, either as a direct copy or a spiritual second chance of sorts.

If you're going into this soundtrack blind and you're expecting a familiar broadway musical-like sound, you need to know right now that you're not getting that. These songs, as I said, sound way more like U2 songs than musical songs. According to my sister, Bono likes to write in such a way that his songs are accessible and relatable to anyone, and that sure is biting him in the butt here, because as a result these songs become very vague. There are like two or three instances in the entire soundtrack where Spiderman is actually mentioned (maybe four? I can't remember). You can usually barely tell what's supposed to be going on. You know how if you turn on the soundtrack for a typical musical, you can get essentially the entire story just from the music? Yeah, you can't do that here. Using my favorite musicals as examples here, but in Tuck Everlasting and Addams Family, there are songs at all the major plot beats. I know what's going on in the story. The characters are telling me what's going on and what they're feeling. Meanwhile, the Turn off the Dark soundtrack is all vague feelings and no events. I have ZERO clue what's going on, except in a few rare cases.

This soundtrack also has a problem with variety, specifically of the singer kind. Most of the songs are just Peter dramatically singing vague words. There's the occasional duet with MJ, two songs for Green Goblin/Norman Osborn, and one song for Arachne. (Don't even ask. If you don't know who she is already, then you might as well just dive fully into the rabbit hole that is Turn off the Dark and learn everything there is to know about this insane musical.) There's almost nothing for the ensemble to do, which is very sad. And while we're on the subject of variety, a lot of these songs sound VERY similar. Most of them have the same signature U2 rock style. It gets kinda tiring after a while. Maybe some people would like that, but I was longing for a violin or something by the end.

The Turn off the Dark Soundtrack is missing a lot of typical musical songs as well. Opening ensemble number? Not there. Hero's I Want song? I mean, you might be able to argue that's what Boy Falls From the Sky is, but I couldn't identify what exactly Peter WANTS in that song. I have no idea why we're supposed to care. That's a big problem for a musical to have.

One plus is the existence of the song Pull the Trigger. This song caught me and my sister SO off guard when we listened to it because it didn't sound ANYTHING like what we'd been hearing up to that point. It was so UN-U2 and weird that it circled all the way back around to being unironically amazing. At this point, we didn't know that it was the US military (for some reason???) talking to Norman, so I came up with the theory that the ensemble in this song were acting as the voices in his head, a la the first Raimi Spiderman movie. This is one of the songs on the soundtrack that I would DEFINITELY listen to again. XD (My sister isn't as big a fan of it, but I don't care. :P)

There were a few other stand out songs on the sound track, like No More (which hit us in all the feels so hard), Bouncing Off the Walls, and my sister really liked Boy Falls From the Sky.

Here's some notes we had for each of the songs:

NY Debut - Has no real reason to be here. It's just an instrumental, and not even an overture. It's boring.

Boy Falls From the Sky - Definitely feels like a U2 song, specifically because Bono hasn't figured out how to write as a character and not himself. My sister picked out several moments that seem to have been lifted out of other U2 songs

Rise Above 1 - Is clearly only titled this way because Bono didn't realize Rise Above 2 could've just been Rise Above Reprise, but okay. It uses second person 'you' a lot, which makes it very vague.

Picture This - Gives the vibes of the songs where Bono sings about his mom (who died when he was younger). Had a few lines that seemed redundant to me, but at least we got some MJ and ensemble action!

I Just Can't Walk Away - Sounded like a break up song between Peter and MJ??? It was pretty cool since we got more of a sense of story from this one than any of the previous songs. Also, that echo effect later on was very cool.

Bouncing Off the Walls - Sounded like an actual Spiderman song for once! All of the previous ones sounded like they were more written for Bono, but this one seemed like something Spiderman might actually sing. Thought the first few lines gave Venom vibes and I know for a fact he's not in this musical. Also, the chorus was kinda boring.

Pull the Trigger - WAS SO WACKY AND FUN!!! It came so out of left field and I want more. The patriotic bits didn't make a whole lot of sense though and the ending was weird.

No More - Honestly just so amazing. The struggles Peter and MJ have are clearly communicated and heartbreaking. The music itself was so well done as well. (Sidenote: the line MJ sings, "Everyday I feel the walls are closing in, When can I begin?" sounds SO FAMILIAR and I can't figure out what it sounds like. If anyone can figure it out, please let me know!)

DIY World - The concept was discernable but the execution was bad. It got a little absurd by the end.

If the World Should End - Had nice soliloquy vibes, but we had legitimately no clue what was going on. MJ knew something but was keeping it to herself?

Sinistereo - My sister loved it, but I HATE IT WITH A FIERY BURNING PASSION. The instruments were screeching and painful to hear and the singing itself was so flat and dead. I couldn't focus on anything else. I will never listen to this again. My sister found things to like somehow.

A Freak Like Me Needs Company - In all the reviews I've heard, this one always gets specifically talked about, so I was excited to get to this one. But honestly, I don't understand what all the hype was about. It's not nearly as high energy as I thought it would be. It's probably better on stage, but I expected more.

Rise Above 2 - Has some genuinely good and cool moments! But this was the point when I was getting really tired of the guitar and drums and wanted more variety.

Turn off the Dark - Sounded really sincere but since we know a villain was singing it, it just confused us. And towards the end, we started to get kinda uncomfortable.

My sister's final thoughts: Sometimes U2 gotta be cringe, but in the end they put out great art.

My final thoughts: It’s not a musical soundtrack. It’s the next U2 album with the occasional spiderman thrown in. U2 kept stealing from their own songs and that’s unimpressive to me. Bono’s trying so hard to be the next Andrew Lloyd Webber (but rock) and he doesn’t know how to write showtunes.

I think this soundtrack has some good moments that were really enjoyable. But as a whole? If we're judging Turn off the Dark purely on its music and nothing else, it's no wonder it failed.

But as I said at the beginning, if you've got something to add, PLEASE let me know. Despite all the things wrong with it, I still think this musical is genuinely fascinating and fun to talk about!

[holydivers]

2023 in books under the cut - 55 read this year so far

started the year reading some more butler - now all i have left are the parable novels, a few short stories and survivor (if i even want to read it? idk reading it seems weird but it was published...) which makes me sad. i've really enjoyed all her books

read the interdepency and noumenon series. they're fine.

finally returned to the masquerade series. i liked them a whole lot more than i liked the first book, though i may enjoy it more upon a re-read which i will definitely be doing at some point

wanted to read more classic sci-fi so i checked out banks (not impressed tbh) and asimov (could be better but aged pretty well imo) and idk if blindsight counts but i thought it was neat (the sequel less so)

only one pratchett book...i've been reading physical copies of his books and haven't really bought any in a long time

the vanished queen fucking sucked. probably my least favorite, though i also wasn't really impressed with out (what's with that ending???) the quantum thief or vicious either. or the banks book as i mentioned

read lavalle's newest book, liked it enough to finally check out some of his other stuff i've been meaning to read. the changeling is my favorite, and i actually loved the first half of the book even though it bored a lot of people

ambergris was a bit of a disappointing slog, especially since i usually quite like vandermeer's writing and worldbuilding

and as i've mentioned chain-gang all-stars was my favorite book this year, and now one of my favorites as a whole. go read it. go read how the word is passed too - in general and for specific context on angola prison

atm i'm working my way through coldfire aka the most gay and homophobic christian fic i've ever read

[beels-burger-babe]

All is Fair in Dice and War

***Soooo, @bagelsinatoaster I love this request. However, you didn't specify which board game and as I am a huge nerd I decided to take some creative liberties and combine this with another idea I've been meaning to write which is: MC introducing the demon bros to Dungeons and Dragons. I certainly had fun with this and I hope you like it!*** Summary: Leviathan's world is flipped upside down when MC tells him there is a game that basically allows him to be the Lord of Shadows in real life!! He demands that his brothers join him as MC introduces them all to the chaotic shit show that is Dungeons & Dragons. For once, it was a peaceful day in the House of Lamentation. Lucifer was lounging in the living room with a cursed record playing softly in the background. For once, Satan had willingly joined him and was sitting by the fireplace, thumbing through a book on the human world. Belphie had been passed out on the couch when he arrived and was still laying there with an impressive puddle of drool collecting near his mouth. Even Asmodeus and Beel had joined in, with Asmodeus gently humming to himself as he painted his nails and Beelzebub happily munching on a snack as he enjoyed the sight of his family getting along. Yes. It was perfectly quiet and peaceful, and Lucifer didn't even have any traces of his regular migraine. But of course, nothing good lasts forever. Everyone jumped as the door slammed open and a wide-eyed Leviathan dragged you into the room. The two you very closely followed by Mammon loudly complaining. "Oi! You're gonna hurt them! Cut it out, Levi!" Lucifer sighed and closed his eyes, momentarily mourning the peace that he had just barely begun to enjoy, and closed his book. "Leviathan, let MC go. What are you freaking out about this time?" Lucifer regretted asking the moment the words left his mouth. Levi looked at it with the expression he only ever got when his limited edition Ruri-Chan merch arrived; his eyes were wide and glittering with excitement while his face bore a grin so large that Lucifer was surprised it didn't rip his skin. The third-born was practically vibrating as he let go of your wrist and pushed you forward. "Tell them! Tell them about the game!"

You laughed at Levi's excitement and casually rubbed your wrist. "I was just telling Leviathan about a game that we play in the human world called Dungeons and Dragons-" "You get to make a fantasy world that everyone plays in, and everyone makes characters. You can be a wizard and cast spells against a huge monster! Or a war hero fighter that has been betrayed by his brother! Or a noble knight who is looking for his lost kingdom! And the best part is that it's real!" Levi interrupted, nearly jumping in place as stars danced in his eyes. You put your hands out towards him to try and calm him a bit. "Well, not entirely real. It is played in person, but it's a role play tabletop game, meaning it mostly relies on the players' imagination. That is unless you have thousands of dollars to spend on 3D maps and figurines of your characters." Levi's eyes grew even wider, if possible, as he started shaking his hands up and down. "I CAN HAVE A FIGURINE OF A CHARACTER THAT I MADE?! GAAAAAAAAAHH!" A pillow flew across the room and hit Levi square in the face as a now awake Belphegor glared at him. "Will. You. Shut. Up?" the Avatar of Sloth hissed as a dark dangerous aura grew around him. Beel gently patted his twin's head in hopes of calming him. Leviathan pouted as he noticed no one else seemed to be getting excited about it. "C-Come on guys! This isn't even a video game! It's a thing that we can all do together and personalize it to be something that everyone will like. It'll be fun! Right MC?" You nodded as you gently tossed Belphie's pillow back over to him. "Yeah. I love D&D. I played it all the time in the human world. There's action, suspense, and even romance if you really wanted it," a couple of the brothers perked up at that. "I could put together a one-shot for you guys to try it out if you'd like? I'll help you make your characters, and we can all get together for an evening and play it sometime in a couple weeks." The room went quiet as everyone thought it over. Most of them had no interest in the game itself, but if it was organized by you... "I'm in," Beel decided with a nod. "I think it will be fun. All of us trying something new; it could be neat." Satan casually flipped a page in his book, "The creative aspect of it is definitely appealing. We'd be the masters of our own fate, and that most certainly piques my interest." Asmodeus smirked as he put the cap on his nail polish. "And you said it could be whatever we want? My, one might say that this game could help our wildest fantasies come true~" he made sure to wink at you as he giggled. Belphie, who had only just got back his pillow, scrunched up his face in disgust and launched it at Asmo. "Don't make this weird Asmo," he looked over at you and shrugged, "So long as you do all the work in putting together the character thing, sure. Why not?" Mammon looked over at you from the corner of his eye. "Ya mean to tell me, that you can make it so I'm some awesome, rich, and powerful prince?" Asmo scoffed as he pushed the pillow off his lap. "Please Mammon, even the world of make-believe has its limitations." Mammon blushed as he growled at his brother. You just chuckled and teasingly elbowed his side. "Don't listen to him, Mammon. There is a set amount of how much money you start out with depending on your class and background, but I'm sure we can find something that will make you happy." The second-born blushed even more as he grumbled quietly under his breath. Lucifer tilted his head in thought. "I suppose that if everyone else is playing, naturally I must as well," he stood and began to make his way to his office. "I look forward to seeing what you come up with MC." The next two weeks were spent planning and carefully figuring out the details of the one-shot and the characters that everyone was going to play. Levi was, of course, the first one who came to you to build his character. The two of you spent hours going through the Player's Handbook and sourcebooks to find the perfect build to recreate the Lord of Shadows. In the end, you put

together a human fighter that you gave a couple magic items to make Levi's vision really come to life. It seemed basic, but for the Lord of Shadows, it was perfect. The moment the two of you finished, Levi dove to his computer and ordered a custom-made mini that looked exactly like his character. Satan was genuinely interested in the game, especially after he learned about all the lore and rules behind the different classes and races. You had just been chilling in your room one day when the door burst open. Satan stood there with wide eyes holding a copy of Volo's Guide to Monsters. "MC, why didn't you tell me there are cat people?!" You chuckled, knowing exactly where this was going. "They're called tabaxi, but yeah, they're basically cat people. Would you like to play as one?" He scoffed and snapped the book shut. "Is that even a question? Of course, I'm playing as one." After some discussion and bouncing back and forth between classes a couple of times, Satan settled on a tabaxi druid; that way he not only looked like a cat, but he could speak to them as well. After a few days of you spending time with his brothers focusing on getting their characters ready, Mammon came to you wanting the coolest, most epic character ever. At first, it was clear that he wasn't fully invested in the process, but as he saw the customizable options and all the cool stuff that his character could have, you got his attention. You ended up designing a golden teifling rogue (you tried to tell Mammon that teifling usually wasn't yellow, but he gave you such a sad look that you couldn't say no) that was decked out with piercings and gems all over its horns and tail. He tried to act like he wasn't that excited about it, but one day during class you caught him doodling what looked like a stick figure version of the character on his sheet with a big smile on his face. Asmodeus came in shortly after Mammon finished,

insisting on having the most charming and beautiful character there was. You tapped your chin at the request. "I mean, stereotypically bards are extremely charming and...well seductive...almost too seductive. But that's only thei-" Asmo had hearts in his eyes before you could even finish. "That's what I want to be!" You sighed and made a mental note not to include any dragons in the session as you marked Asmo down to be an elven bard and helped him create his character sheet. You hadn't heard anything from Lucifer for nearly that entire first week, until one day as you were lounging in the living room, he walked in holding a stack of resource books. "Ah, MC. I've been looking for you. I wanted to inform you that I will be playing a half-elf multiclassing as a paladin and hex-blade warlock." You blinked at him as he put all the books down in front of you. "O-Oh. Would you like help putting together your character sheet?" He just grinned and began to make his way out of the room once more. "I've already done it. I must admit that this was quite a bit more interesting than I thought it would be," and with that he was gone, leaving you to try and figure out what had just happened. With only a few days left until the one-shot, you had to go find the twins and get them to make their characters. Beel apologized like crazy for you having to track him in down in order to get his character made. The poor guy was in the middle of peak Fangol season and had completely forgotten. Once the two of you sat down in the kitchen with an empty character sheet in one hand and snacks in the other, Beel gave you his full attention. He put a lot of thought in his character and wanted to make it really good since he appreciated that you were doing something that they could all do as a family. He bashfully decided to play a halfling. Not only did the little creatures share his love for food, but he thought it would be neat to try being small for once. His class was also a surprise. After carefully flipping through all of the class options, he had eventually settled on a cleric. "They're the healers, right? This way I can help the others if someone gets hurt." You gave him a huge hug then and there. Belphegore, on the other hand, was not so easy to work with. "Belphie, come on. Just flip through the book and choose something!" He groaned into his pillow and rolled onto his side to glare at you. "I told you I would play if you did all the work for me. Me flipping through a book is work. It's not happening." After an entire hour of trying to get him to cooperate, you gave up. In retaliation you made his character a goblin barbarian, just to drive in the fact of how much of a brat he was acting like.

Finally, the day came for you all to play the one-shot, and much like you expected, it was complete and utter chaos. You had tried to maintain some structure and keep everyone on track, but it was hopeless. Levi and Satan were taking the game seriously and, Diavolo bless them, were the only reason their party was making any progress. Mammon was trying to pick-pocket every non-player character that they met while Asmo distracted them by flirting. This worked great for them until Mammon got caught and would've died from the resulting injuries if it wasn't for Beel. Speaking of Beel, the poor fella was trying his best to do well in the game but kept getting confused by all the rules and different stats and modifiers. Belphegor spent most of his time, trying to explain it to his twin, but in the end, Beel accidentally ate his dice and Belphie passed out on his shoulder. And then there was Lucifer. He had been mostly quiet the entire game. Surprisingly, he let Levi and Satan take the charge in any investigations and puzzle-based interactions, but he did so with a smirk. You had a funny feeling in your stomach that he was up to something, and you were right. It was the final boss. Satan and Levi were on the edge of their seats, having worked so hard to get the party to this point. You smiled, knowing that one of the best parts of D&D was finally taking down the big bad. In this case, you had prepared a beholder for them to fight. It would be no easy task. The fight should have required them to work together in an epic battle of wits, magic and melee attacks. Only, when everyone rolled initiative, Lucifer went first. The eldest smiled as his eyes sparked menacingly. "For my bonus action, I'd like to use my hex blade's curse on it, which allows me to add my plus four proficiency bonus to all damage, and makes any rolls of nineteen or twenty critical hits. I will then use my long sword with divine smite at third level to attack him and attack him again using my extra attack," barely giving you time to process what he said, Lucifer rolled his dice twice. "And that would be a nineteen and a natural twenty, meaning they're both criticals due to the curse. That should hit, yes?" "Wha-" You could only watch as Lucifer, now with twice the amount of damage due to his critical rolls pulled out a disgusting number of dice and rolled them all. And of course, with his luck, they all rolled high. "So that's 90 points of damage plus the extra damage from the curse and the bonus from my duelist ability per attack, brings this 102 points," he smugly perched his chin on top of his hands as the table gaped at him. You gulped and looked down at the beholder's character sheet, "Y-You just took o-over half of his hit points in one round..." His grin widened at the information, "What, like it's hard?" You never got the chance to finish the game, as Satan burst into his demon form and pounced on Lucifer, the eldest laughing like a mad man, while Levi tore up his character sheet in a fit of jealous rage. Levi never asked to play with everyone again after that. ***This was just so self-indulgent and I just- I loved it. It combined two of my favourite things and I have never been happier. This was more crack than fluff, but either way, it was fun and I hope you nerds out there enjoyed it 🥰 Thanks again for the request @bagelsinatoaster!*** Taglist: @mimik248 @roseytoesy @ester-is-here

[maehara-san]

𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙙 // 𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙮𝙖 𝙞𝙞𝙙𝙖 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

Pairing: Au!Tenya Iida x F!Reader

Summary: After years of forgetting an old acquaintance the moment you decide to venture off and move forward he comes back. But have you moved on or are there still lingering feelings?

Warning(s): Angst, slight fluff,

Words: 2,083

| Notes: gif belongs to @transhawks |

| Masterlist | Writer Fund |

- - - -

"We didn't need to do this guys!" you exclaimed as your best friend threw an arm around your shoulders pulling you closer. "I told you it was fine getting just ramen back at home."

"Nope!" he chuckled, "Not happening, missy. We are sending you off big."

"Takashi is right." Aimi added, "A simple bowl of ramen isn't going to cut it for us."

"It's your last night..." Aito sighed looking at you with sad eyes "You should get to enjoy it with your favorite food."

You frowned seeing your best friend's smiles disappearing from their usual happy faces. "Guys..." you took each of their hands into yours, "I may be moving to another country but that won't mean I will not be checking up on you or planning trips to come and see you."

Aimi smiled small giving your hand a gentle squeeze, "We're going to miss you..."

"I'm going to miss you guys too. But before you know it I will be back to annoy your asses."

Takashi chuckled, "Come on let's go grab a seat and enjoy tonight."

"He's right the more time we stand here." Aito said, "The less time we will have to talk."

"Agree!" you exclaimed.

The four of you then sat down near a secluded corner. There were only a few tables occupied, making the atmosphere more relaxing. "Should we get the usual?" Aimi asked.

"Mhm." you nodded "Do you guys want to add anything else?"

"What about..." Aito mumbled, "Adding some extra bowls of rice?"

"We can do that." you agreed "Another extra omelet too."

The waitress then came over and Takashi gave her the order then left you four alone again. "Are you excited?" Aimi asked looking over at you. "Getting your own office and helping out on that project?"

You bit your lip trying to contain your smile and not making your friends sadder. "It's a huge opportunity...ever since college ended, I've been waiting for something like this to happen." you said "After working long hours during the internships, it seems like it's being paid off."

"I know I can vouch for all of us when I say that you are the most hard-working person we know." Takashi "Even though you'll be miles away, your dream is finally coming true. You deserve this and much more." he raised his shot glass in the air and the rest of you followed "To y/n...who will become the baddest boss I know!"

"Hear hear!" you all spoke in unison and clinked your glasses together drinking down the sake.

Clearing your throat you then stood up "I'm going to the bathroom I'll be back."

"Don't be too long!" Aito yelled as you left "Or I'll eat your bowl of rice!"

A chuckle escaped your lips as you slipped away out into the balcony. You closed the door behind you making the night turn quiet. The voices sounded muffled, you sighed leaning forward.

'I know I should be happy...' you thought holding on to the black metal railing. 'But why am I feeling sad...this is the chance I've been looking for..'

The sound of a door opening and closing caught your attention. On instinct, you wiped the tears away and turned around expecting to see Aito or Aimi but saw a stranger instead.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt-" they began.

"No, you didn't," you reassured them.

The stranger with glasses then furrowed his eyebrows together as his stare became focused on you. Then his eyes widened, "Y/n?"

"Um..." you looked at him confused then your face reciprocated his expression as well. "T-Tenya..."

"Yeah..." he softly spoke, "It's been a while..."

You crossed your arms in front of your chest, "It has..."

Tenya then walked over and stood next to you near the railing. "How have you been?"

"I-I have been well...and you?" you mumbled not knowing how to feel after years of not seeing him.

"I'm doing good actually..." he softly replied looking at you as his back was facing the street.

"That's...good then," you said looking down at your open-toe heels suddenly remembering you had come to enjoy your dinner celebration after work. His eyes were softly looking at you as he noticed your tired finger and the pen marking you had on your forehead but despite it all, you still looked beautiful.

"Did you come alone? he asked.

You shook your head not wanting to look at him "I came here with some of my close friends."

"I see..." there was nothing he can do to make the silence less awkward and somehow he still had a lot he wanted to say to you. So many words crossed his mind yet seeing you in front of him made him nervous.

"It's been six years hasn't it?" your mouth suddenly spoke for you making you mentally slap yourself for opening it. Without realizing it you kept going not having any filter or control over what came out. "Since the last time, we saw each other."

A small smile formed on his lips "It has been too long." he replied.

"Has it been too long?" you questioned having the courage to look at him "We didn't necessarily speak to one another the last two years of high school."

"I admit it wasn't the best move I made, at least not the one I wanted to." his gaze softened as he looked you in the eyes.

"Then why did you?" you said, "I thought I had done something wrong or said something that might have upset you. I kept looking back at all the memories to try and find a clue that would help clear my mind from how guilty I felt Tenya."

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

A sly chuckle came out and you broke away from the stare "I even had the decency to message you and apologize when I shouldn't have had the need to do so."

"None of this was ever your fault y/n." he said "I was the idiot who got driven by j-" Tenya paused as he bit his tongue.

"What?" you asked.

He shook his head "Nothing..."

Anger started to build up inside of you after all those years you tried to ignore how he had made you felt. How you cried for him as silly as it sounded, of wanting to maybe just maybe having a chance to show him how important he was to you. Only for things to change out of the blue and ignore you as if you never existed. "Bullshit," you called him out. "You don't get to pull this half-ass move on me!"

His back then turned as he looked out into the city, "I'm not pulling anything..."

"Seriously?" your hand-formed into a fist "You start to spew out an apology only for you not to admit the truth to me?! That is a half-ass move and I have no reason to keep listening or believe anything that comes out of your mouth!" you yelled.

Footsteps were then heard indicating to him that you were walking away and he was losing you for good. Gripping the rail tightly he then blurted out, "I had a crush on you okay!"

Your feet stopped moving, little butterflies began to fly around in your tummy. Tenya turned around to face you, "I didn't know how to act." he explained "We talked every day when we saw each other before I knew it these feelings of friendliness turned into a crush. I saw other guys get close to you and held a grudge."

A tear slipped from your eye and you blinked making it fall down to the cold ground. "So you ignored me as revenge?..."

"It wasn't revenge...I just-" he paused covering his face with his hands then letting them fall down to the side "...didn't know what to do. I did not want to ruin anything if you didn't feel the same way. Before I knew it the more I thought about it every day it made me ignore you and pretend as if nothing had happened."

"And yet you know deep down something did, Tenya." you tried controlling your heavy breathing as the tears kept falling down, "I had thought I was only imagining things, that you decided to erase all those times we acted as more than friends."

"I'm sorry." he said, "But I did mean everything I said to you in every conversation and moment I had with you, those were never fake y/n."

You stood quiet trying to wrap around your mind the confession you wanted to hear all these years. But now that you got it, did you still have those feelings for him?

"Look at me, please." he softly spoke. When he said it you turned around and his heart broke upon seeing your red bloodshot eyes. "Y/n..." slowly he lifted his hand and cupped the right side of your face. Using his thumb he gently wiped away the stained tears on your cheek. "I didn't mean to make you cry. But I knew you deserved the truth of it all."

Your sad eyes locked onto his, a silence overcame you both. The only sound was the cars passing by and the minimal chatter from strangers. "Even though I vowed to move forward and not look back, I don't know anyone else who can make me feel this way."

"You deserve better than what I have given you," he said cupping your face with both your hands. Slowly he closed the distance between you two, his eyes looked from your eyes to your lips and back up again. You copied his movements and inched closer to him then stopped once both your noses brushed against each other silently asking if it was ok. Not seeing any hesitation he continued softly kissing you. Your lips brushed gently against one another as the kiss deepened. You wrapped your arms around his waist, your skin tingled feeling his body heat radiating off onto you. The kiss was magnificent something you've never experienced before, which made you break apart despite the happiness you felt.

You broke apart after a minute to breathe. A smile lingered on your faces feeling the rush from the explosive kiss. "I've been meaning to do that." his cheeks turned red and brushed his hair back.

"I'm glad you did." you admitted "I have been waiting for a while..."

He gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, "I waited too long and now that I have I don't plan on wasting it."

The thought made you feel delighted yet you knew it would be impossible. Tenya noticed the change in your eyes, "What's wrong?" he asked as he held your hand.

"I'm moving out of the country." you explained "I have a job opportunity in Spain. I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Oh..."

"I did miss you." you confessed "Seeing you rose feelings within me that I didn't know I still had. But I'm not going to be hopeful on waiting again especially since I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"We'll figure this out okay?" he said "You don't need to answer me or feel like you have to decide right now. You deserve that job opportunity."

"Are you sure?"

"You have my word." Tenya gave your hand a gentle squeeze "I'm willing to wait for as long as it takes and show you how much you mean to me."

"Y/n!" one of your friends called out to you, "The food is getting cold!"

"I should get back," you said letting go of his hand and he nodded.

"Let me know what time you leave okay?"

"I will." you said, "Goodbye, Tenya."

"Goodnight, y/n." he softly said and you headed back inside over to your table. Tenya then walked in after you, as he saw your table was a few feet away from his.

"Y/n where were you?!" Aimi slurred as you noticed her pink face from how much sake she had drunk already.

"She wouldn't stop asking where you were," Aito said. "She kept talking a lot almost getting us thrown out from here."

"Sorry, I ran into someone from my old school," you explained as your eyes landed on him from far away. Tenya's eyes then landed on you as well. You slightly blushed.

"What's wrong?" Takashi asked as he raised an eyebrow looking at you.

"Nothing," you replied smiling softly. "The meat tastes good is all."

[yesttoheaven]

I SEE YOU – chapter III

pairing – arthur fleck x female!reader

wc – 2.6k

warnings – just fluff and a little bit of angst

English is not my first language. I am getting help from google translator and he is not always a good ally, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors.

Y/N – your name

Y/L/N – your last name

🔴 chapter one. chapter two. chapter three.

The actress looked around, enjoying the apartment where Arthur lived with his mother. The place was small, very different from what she was used to, but this simplicity was nostalgic and reminded her of her childhood; when everything seemed simple, despite the difficulties.

Unfortunately Arthur was still at work, but Penny assured her that he would be back soon and added that Y/N could wait for him. At first Brian didn't approve of this idea, considering that the actress was going to an important dinner tonight, but he should know that it’s impossible to say no to her puppy eyes. Now Brian is probably driving to Misty's house, ready to take her to Y/N's apartment, exactly as they agreed the day before. The only difference would be the absence of the actress, but this would be justified with: "She's at Angelina's." Although the plan was apparently perfect, leaving her alone with practically unknown people was worrisome. Y/N's safety was his responsibility. If something happened to her, Brian would never forgive himself, but she stated with all the letters that she would stay inside the apartment, waiting for him with Arthur and Penny. And they were not bad people.

Y/N didn't like to involve Brian in this web of lies, but Misty knew how to be stifling when she wanted to. Visiting Arthur was not illegal, but she didn't see it that way. In her conception, to be friends with Y/N Y/N/L you need to have a bank account with many zeros after the comma.

Placing her manager at the bottom of her thoughts, Y/N's eyes fell on the small table next to the couch she was on. A few magazines were spread out and a shy smile crossed her lips. She would probably never get used to it.

Noticing the young woman's interest in magazines, Penny said:

"This actress is so graceful."

"You think? I hear only bad things about her." Y/N replied, taking one of the magazines and placing it next to her face, reproducing the cover.

When the realization reached Arthur's mother, she looked at Y/N with wide eyes, thinking it was a mirage caused by the effects of the medicines she used daily. When she opened the door and found the woman on the other side, Penny didn't imagine that Y/N was Y/N Y/L/N, the same woman who is in all these magazines.

"That was my first cover... six years have passed and I'm still nervous on camera." The actress smiled, leaving the magazine with the other copies.

"You need to excuse me, I'm too old for that... I watch your movies with my son and I was unable to recognize you."

"It's all right, these photos are usually a little bit manipulated. Maybe that's why you didn't recognize me."

The conversation continued pleasantly between them. Penny Fleck didn't feel like she was talking to one of Gotham's biggest actresses; Y/N seemed to be just a nice neighbor, the one who always shows up for a visit at the end of the day. They only knew each other for a few minutes, but it didn't matter, Penny was comfortable, sharing with her a little bit of his life with Arthur, or Happy as she used to call her son. The actress considered this point intriguing, because when she met Arthur, sadness was the only thing that existed on his face like a second skin, but maybe she was just impressed.

...

Every day was exactly the same for Arthur. He went to work, spent the day spinning his sign in front of a store or visited sick children in hospitals – this was his favorite; Carnival loved to bring joy to them. The time to return home represented some relief for the clown. This meant that his co-workers would have to wait for the next day to continue making fun of him. Arthur would always be a joke for everyone.

Tired for another exhausting day at work – or just being who he is – all Arthur wanted at that moment was to relax by smoking a cigarette. Dragging himself out of the elevator, he made his way to his old apartment and took the keys out of his pocket to open the door. He warned that he was back, but his mother did not respond. Arthur suspected she was asleep, but as soon as he put his feet in the living room, his body froze.

The likelihood of them seeing each other again was one in a million, but here she was, surprising him once again. There was no plausible explanation for what he was feeling at the moment. Accelerated heart. Sweaty palms. And the most sincere smile of his entire life. Arthur was genuinely happy. Seeing the actress again was enough to erase all his problems. Y/N was like a breath of fresh air to his lungs. There was something about her, something that you notice from a long distance, but that Arthur can't put into words.

"Happy, your friend was waiting for you." Penny broke the silence, bringing them to reality again.

With a smile, Y/N stood up, running her hands over the dress she wore. She approached the man and greeted him in her soft voice:

"Hi, Arthur. How've you been?" Surprised by her own courage, she touched his shoulder and left a kiss on his cheek.

Arthur felt his cheeks turn into two tomatoes and he automatically looked at the ground, hiding a shy smile in the corner of his lips. But knowing that she was waiting for an answer, he took a deep breath, looking at her again and saying:

"Hey, I'm... I'm good. How about you?"

"I couldn’t be better. I hope I'm not bothering you, your mom said I could stay to wait for you."

"Don't say that, you never bother, dear! Now I'm going to leave you two alone so you can talk." The woman tried to get up and Arthur quickly moved to stand beside her, helping Penny back to the bedroom.

It was easy to see how much he loves his mother.

A few minutes later, Arthur was back in the living room, looking a little nervous about the situation. It was possible to state that the actress felt the same way, remembering the reason that brought her to the other side of the city. She didn't want to say anything in front of Penny, but now she could and the words were stuck in her throat.

"I don't know where to start... I'm so sorry for the way you were treated. They couldn't have done that to you, Arthur."

"How d-did you know?"

"Brian talked to the receptionist..." She said, biting her lower lip in an attempt to control herself, but that was not enough. "I'm so mad at Susan! Who does she think she is to treat you that way?"

"Don't be m-mad at her because of me... It's okay, I'm used to it." Arthur replied, trying to reassure the actress. The last thing he wanted to do was be responsible for erasing her smile, but his words made Y/N even more concerned.

"What are you saying?"

"My life is... different from yours." He murmured, shaking his shoulders as if it didn't matter, but the sad expression on his face showed just the opposite. "I d-don't want to bother you with my stupid problems. This is not worth your time."

"But I have all the time in the world to hear you. Please tell me..." Y/N insisted, still trying to understand what he meant by 'I'm used to it'.

Susan had compared Arthur to a criminal; someone dangerous. She judged him by his appearance. His actions. His somewhat confused way of speaking. No. This is not normal. This is not something that Arthur should just 'get used to'.

"C-Can I get you something to drink?" He asked, shifting the focus of the conversation in the blink of an eye. Just a few more words and he could feel the laughter in the back of his throat, begging to leave. And that was not what he wanted.

"But..." The actress tried again, but acknowledged it was time to stop. She showed one of her beautiful smiles and that was enough to warm the man's heart. "Water, please."

Following Arthur into the kitchen, she stood by the door, watching him. Arthur was not a bad person – and he wasn't a criminal either, as Susan thought. Y/N just wanted to have the opportunity to get to know him better. It was as if the man still has his face paint on; as if he were still Carnival and she desperately wanted to meet the man hiding behind the paint, but Y/N understood that invading his space was not the best way to achieve this.

"Oh, thanks!" She thanked him, holding the cup and drinking, as they walked back to the living room. Pointing to the magazines, she fired: "These magazines are old... Are you a collector or something?"

"Not exactly... It was a few months ago, this guy was throwing the magazines in the trash because nobody wanted to buy, but he sold it to me for half the price..." Arthur's eyes widened when he realized what he had said. He scratched the back of his neck, completely embarrassed, but the actress just started laughing.

"It's okay, Arthur. I like your sincerity." She added, finding the situation funny. "But tell me, what is your favorite?"

The man pointed to the third magazine without thinking twice. Unlike the others, this cover was focused only on Y/N's angelic face. She was holding a white rose; the petals of the flower touching her lips painted in bright red.

"You have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen in my life." He thought aloud, making her blush with his sincere words.

Y/N was constantly praised. Men and women. Different ages. Nationalities. Some were adorable, others completely depraved, but no one was able to make her feel what she was feeling right now.

Arthur was surprised at himself. This trust was not constant in his life, but close to her, it was as if he wanted to try. It was easy, because he was just telling the truth. Her smile was beautiful.

"So... what is this?" After a few minutes of silence, she asked, pointing again at the small table in the center of the living room.

"Oh, this is my journal!" The man picked up his journal and sat down next to her on the couch. "My therapist forced me to have one. I write my thoughts, some new jokes and other things..."

"I love jokes, but I need to confess that clowns are not my point."

"Don't you like clowns?" Arthur was not angry with her, in fact he thought it was funny. "How is this possible?"

"Don't judge me! It's nothing personal... I don't hate them completely, i just get a little nervous." Y/N started to laugh, being accompanied by him. When the laughter stopped, she said: "Now the million dollar question... What did you think of 'Midnight Seduction'? But you need to promise me that you will be honest with your criticism, right?"

The man shook his head in agreement.

"So I can start by saying that the ending was not as I expected, she died..." Arthur knew it was just a fictional death, but Y/N's flawless performance took that scene to another level. He was paralyzed by her talent. Y/N was definitely born to shine. Her filmography was rich.

"My Diana..." The actress spoke fondly about the character, remembering the day she read the script for the first time. Nobody was expecting this. "I like to imagine that she had a second chance. No prostitution. No drugs. Without HIV. And with someone by your side to love."

"This is a good ending, I like it... Rosalind was the only person who cared about her."

"Oh, did you notice?" Y/N asked, leaving the glass of water on the table. "I mentioned this in an interview, but the next day everyone was distorting my words!"

"It's just... love. What's wrong with that?"

"Unfortunately some people will never understand what love is."

Looking at Y/N and Arthur, it was possible to see that they were opposite poles. Their lives were completely different, but it was intriguing how they always found a connection. Time passed quickly, but they were still involved in a long conversation. Y/N loved to hear the man tell about his work as a clown – obviously he didn't mention the bad side. The actress told about NGOs, some trips around the globe and the preparation to play her characters. Each character was a new challenge and Arthur found it fascinating that she lived several lives in just one.

When the conversation followed a delicate path, Y/N considered changing this path, but she gave up and stood up, walking around the living room with a nostalgic smile growing on her lips. Arthur watched a few interviews, but hearing the actress speak directly to him about her childhood in Narrows was different. She lived in a simple house with her mother and brother. The situation was not easy, they did not have much money. Today her mother and brother are living in France, enjoying a wonderful life because of Y/N and her promising career. She missed them. She talked to them on the phone every day, but that was her best decision. Gotham has become a hostile, completely violent city, but it was in the middle of this violent city that her life changed...

"I was working at a restaurant in the downtown when Misty saw me in that hideous uniform..." Y/N couldn't help but laugh. "She said I was too pretty to clean shitty toilets, but cleaning shitty toilets was what puts money on the table at the end of the month... So she said she had an indecent proposal for me. I figured she would offer me a job at a nightclub... I probably would have accepted it. I was desperate to help my family, but she asked if i would like to be famous... A simple answer, "yes" and see how I look six years later. That horrible uniform became the most expensive designer dresses in the world, my mom has a beautiful house and everything she deserves, my little brother is having all the support for his studies and that girl with dreams turned into a famous actress, but..."

Unhappy.

Y/N completed in her mind, she was not strong enough to say that. She was also not ungrateful. Misty turned the girl's life into a fairy tale, but at the same time it took her life. In six years, she never had a break. Her manager was always bringing her a new job. The actress knew this was important for her career, but she didn't have time for anything other than work. She didn't have time to visit her own family. She was stuck.

Arthur heard someone knock on the door, but he kept his eyes on Y/N. The woman was in absolute silence and close to tears. Her smile was gone. She was suffering in front of him and he didn't know what to do to get this pain out of her.

"You should check this out." She murmured and at first he didn't react, but when the person knocked on the door again, Arthur stood up.

The actress took advantage of the moment to compose herself, trying to normalize her breathing, but when she heard that voice, her body just froze. The next minute the redhead appeared in the living room holding her Prada bag and looking at everything with an expression of disgust, but when she saw Y/N, she said:

"Mon cher, why didn't you tell me you wanted to visit your new friend? You know you don't have to lie to me."

--------------------------------------

a/n – likes and reblogs are appreciated but honestly I’d love to know what you all think of this one. really hope you enjoy it and thank you soooo much for reading ♡

[pinkispoggers]

2121 | Lance Bishop x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS: therapy and suicidal thought mentions, ALSO SMUT

Previous chapter: Questions Lead to Answers

Please Read!! Hi, so I just want to let you know that this will not be the last chapter, there will be more! And please, please, pleaseeeee (if you can) go read the Marvel Aliens Comic. It will help with the understanding of "therapist/shrink Bishop". And plus, it's good. Also Tw for Suicidal thought mentions and Therapy in general. (Also one more thing. The grammar fucking sucks (I think and I know) and none of this makes a shit bit of sense)

Words: 4.8k

enjoy!

When you wake up from Cryosleep, Bishop is nowhere to be found, just like you expected but you couldn't worry about him right now, you had to be on time for the next sleep, back to earth where you heard you would be hooked up with a new therapist like every marine and crew member was. You didn't exactly know why but you rolled with it.

As you were preparing to go to sleep in the second cryo, you heard a familiar voice talking and then walked in, it was Bishop, half-naked of course. He hopped into another sleeping chamber, but before his shut, he had a few last words. "Y/n, I left something in your bag…" and then he shut his lid by himself. "Something in my bag? What?" You whisper as you are being shut in, and there goes your second sleep.

You wake up… in a hospital? You suspected everyone did but you weren’t sure. You groggily sit up, trying to really see where you were. Yep, a hospital room with one nurse sitting in the back of the room, right next to you. "Hello?" You say and the nurse gets startled. "She's awake!!" The nurse called and a bunch of doctors rush in. "Woah- woah, woah, woah, what's going on…" you say tiredly. "Well, you have been in a coma for 2 days and we are going to let you go in 2 days. Is that OK with you?" "Yeah that's fine." You say, not really knowing what's going on.

_______________________________

The 2 days have passed and you are ready to go to your new home, a lovely little one-bedroom apartment. You get in a taxi and you are off. While you are sitting with all your things, it pops in your brain, that "thing" Bishop had given you. You can't get it now, as all your things are in the trunk of the taxi.

You arrive at the new place, feeling a little nervous, but you calm yourself. It's only 2 stories, and it's the only apparent in a few blocks. The only one you could get. You step inside. Yours is on the top floor, but stairs were all good to you. You get up there, and unlock the door.

It's beautiful! It's the perfect apartment to you. You sigh. There's a couch in the middle of the place, up against the wall, and you sit on in, grabbing your stuff and opening one of the bags. You don't know what you are looking for, but you knew you were looking for something foreign. "Aha!" You say as you found it. A chip.

"A chip?" You whisper. You get up, chip in hand and head over to your computer, in your bedroom. You plug the chip in and something pops up.

WEYLAND-YUTANI CORP

W

BUILDING BETTER WORLDS

A bunch of information came up.

BISHOP-MODEL- 341-B

And other things like relations, hyperdyne information, and others you had no care about. "It's… it's you…" you say softly. He had given you a copy of himself, his system.

You wanted to start crying. You were grateful for this, but you had no way to put this to use. That was the sad part. You leave your computer open and lie down on your bed. It's not the most comfortable, but it's something. You fade off to sleep after almost 30 minutes of pondering.

The next day

You stumble out of bed, staring at the ceiling. You had almost forgot you had your first session of therapy today. To say you were nervous would be an understatement.

You left your apartment, saying goodbye to the only plant you owned, on a tiny windowsill. You called a taxi and waited out front. Every moment that passed, you spent worrying about who you would get, what you would talk about, ya know, stuff like that. The taxi arrived and you headed off, not thinking anything of the trip until you saw a sign that said: WEYLAND-YUTANI CORPS

"Ah fuck" you mutter. You really didn't like the Weyland-yutani corps cause you thought it was really fucked up. What they were doing there behind closed doors, but you held up your end as a loyal Crew Member and Science officer… like Bishop.

You get out of the car and feel the air around you, it's nice. You step into the big building, guards letting you in and escorting you to the office where you would wait for your new therapist. You fill out all of the forms you need and sit and wait.

Almost 30 minutes later someone comes out and guides you to the office and walks away without saying a word. Anxiety was tearing at your chest, you felt like you were being pulled down but then the door opened. A tall, about 5'10 man looks (up/down) at you and a shiver goes down your spine, it's a Bishop model. "Uh-" you stumble on your words. "Is something wrong?" He asks and you shake your head and walk in as he holds the door open for you.

You go to sit down at a chair across from another chair on the other side of a dark oak desk, the big Weyland-Yutani corps logo and a blue-green wallpaper all around the room. The Bishop model comes to sit down across from you and grabs a laptop from a bookshelf in the side of the room. He opens it and jots down a few notes before striking up a conversation.

"Hello miss L/n, how are you doing today?" He said and you shivered in your seat. That beautiful voice. But it wasn't like the model that you meant. "I'm fine" you said blankly, wanting to say more, like you knew him, but you didn’t. "I- I mean I'm good!!" You change your mood so he doesn't suspect anything is wrong.

"Sorry to ask again but, is there something you want to tell me, to talk about.?" He says looking up at you with beautiful eyes. "Shit, uh… well… i- this is kinda hard for me cause I knew another Bishop model. And well…" you didn't want to give all the details because you honestly didn't want anybody knowing about your sexual relationship with the synthetic. "Ah, 2 other people that I've met with have! My model seems to be popular" He smiles.

You smile gently then peer over him to see a picture of some… familiar Marines? And was that… you? "Bishop?" You ask "yes miss L/n?" He says. "Can you tell me about that photo behind you?" You ask and he nods. "Well, that's supposed to be me before my memory chip was taken out, no one knows where it is so I was transferred to the therapy unit, given a new chip, and here I am!" He put his hands in prayer position, just fingers touching.

"Do you- do you see that woman on the side?" "Yes, she kind of looks like you!" He smiles. "That's because it is! Oh Bishop, before you gave me… I mean you lost your chip, we were friends!" You smile back "oh… you are a beautiful woman miss L/n. I wish to get to know you better!" He says and you blush hard. "Same?" You blush.

You begin to talk about the things you would normally have talked about with a random person, but a little more comfortable. He asked you things like any suicidal thoughts, or any thoughts of hurting others or yourself, things like

that. You talked about your friendly relationship with Bishop and the Marines, and how you met Bishop and the others. Overall it was a comforting talk. He made you feel safe.

The end of the meeting finally came and you felt great! You found this very helpful and calming. He taps your shoulder on the way out. "I never caught your name." He says. "Y/n!" You reply. He smiles. "Such a beautiful name" and you blush. You smile at him and walk out. You felt amazing! He shuts the door behind you and you smile and blush as butterflies fill your stomach.

You walk out of the building with no care in the world. You felt free, not locked up in the Sulaco, or in your apartment, the only difference would be you could leave your apartment any time unless you felt unsafe. You sit down at the desk with your laptop and see the same stuff as yesterday. "Shit." You say as you had missed the opportunity to tell him about it.

You stare blankly at the notes, not seeing anything wrong until you scroll down the page. "What?"

⚠️ERROR

CHIP MAY BE DAMAGED

PLEASE BE CAUTIOUS ⚠️

"Hm?" You say as you take out the chip to inspect it and you see a tear on the side of the chip. You pay no attention to it as you need to sleep. You put it down on the table and head to your bed. You lie in your bed, thinking of him, Bishop. All the things you could have talked about, showed him. Maybe next time you can. You finally fade off to sleep.

A week later

"RING RING RING" the alarm sounds. "Oh fuck off" you reply to the ringing in your head. You slowly get up from the bed, knowing what today was. Another meeting with Bishop. That lit you up with joy. You had a great idea… probably not the best, but to you it was great. You went over to the computer, grabbed the chip and put it in your pocket. You got some clothes on and rushed outside, forgetting breakfast, as you were too excited for the day. You reach for your phone to call a Taxi and it's there within minutes.

Inside his office______________

"Hello Y/n!" He starts the conversation, which you knew could go two ways. "Hello Bishop! How are you?" You ask. "Oh i'm just fine! How are you?" He returns. "I'm good! I have something to show you!" You say as you pull the chip out of your pocket. "What could that be? He asks and then he sees it. "Hm? A chip?" He asks "mhm! Yours. It's your missing chip. Look, you're not going to remember this but you gave it to me before going into our second cryo sleep." You say shyly, feeling connected to him, but also feeling difficulty to breathe, not knowing how he is going to react.

"No, sadly I don't remember, but I am going to need that." He says, holding his ground. "Fuck. Bishop, please understand, this was basically a gift… please, please notice that." You cry. "I'm sorry Y/n, please give it here" he laments. Before you could say, or do anything else, you got an idea, and not a good one. "No." You say as you get up and walk out of the room. "Fuck fuck fuck!" You say as you start to speed walk as you see he is right behind you.

You turn a corner but he sees you. You head towards the exit of the back rooms. He follows and you run out of the exit, hiding behind a side wall. You grab your phone and call a Taxi. Within 5 minutes it's here and you bold out from behind the wall, Bishop watching from behind. He just stands there, knowing you are going to try to get away, but he has a task that he needs to fulfill. Getting that chip. You hop in the car and you are off.

A few minutes later you are close to your house but you see a car behind you. You are in the back seat of the taxi, so you can easily turn around but you already knew who it was. It’s been a few more minutes and you knew it was him because why would anyone be following you this long? You reach your apartment and say thank you to the already worried driver and run in before Bishop could get out of his car.

"Shiiiit" you whisper as you run up the stairs, looking out for him through the space between the railing and he's already there, about to come up the stairs. He looks up into your eyes and a chill rolls down your spine. You run into your apartment, making sure he saw which one it was. You leave the door wide open and run into the closet across from your bedroom. Your bedroom door is shut and you hope he thinks you're in there. "Y/n?" He calls and you giggle.

You guessed he heard you because you could hear footsteps coming to the bedroom door. You slowly walk towards the inside of the closet door, plotting how you are going to go through with this. You know about Weyland-yutani synthetics and most of their anatomy. You remembered that there is a slot in his neck and you have to be careful because it could damage him if you are too rough. You plan it out within the next few seconds. You burst out.

You grab hold of his neck and wrap one leg around his torso. You're eying the slot behind his ear, barely covered by his ear. You snatch it out before he has time to react and you grab the other chip from your pocket as the other falls to the ground. You shove it in the slot and just before he can lay a hand on you, his

arms drop to his sides and you jump off of him backing away into the corner of the room as he turns around.

He's seeming to scan the room and then his beautiful eyes lock with yours. "Y/n?" He says and you nod happily. "How? How did you get me? Ho-" he said as you cut him off with a hug "doesn't matter, I missed you Bishop" you hop up to kiss him but he pushes you off. "Bishop?" "Sorry Y/n, something happened, I'm not sure what it is" He walks out of the room to go sit down on the couch in the living room, just leaving you in the closet. "What the fuck?" You whisper to yourself. He did not just do that, you thought.

You walk out of the closet slowly and walk over to the couch to sit next to him, to see if you could make things a little less awkward. "Hey… are you ok?" You ask softly. "No actually. Something in my system is off. I'm trying to figure out what it is at the moment. Sorry for any discomfort that I may have caused back there." He said unsure of himself, but you could tell that he knew what he did back there and that he was sorry. You easily forgave him and tried to sit beside him on the couch.

You try to get closer to him and he let's you. You rest your head on his shoulder and he pushes you off, again.

"Bishop? What's wrong, you weren't like this before." "Again, I'm sorry Y/n something in me is twitchy. I'm trying to resolve the problem right now." He says, staring into space. "Your chip?" You ask, remembering the warning on the computer screen when you plugged it in. "Maybe, do you think it's damaged?" He asks "well I was looking at it yesterday and it had a tear in on the side.

I could try to repair it? You say and he nods. "Can I?" You ask as your hand reaches up to his neck and he nods. But before you could take it out, a large hand hovered over your neck, then softly grabbing it and pulling you closer to him. He kisses you, pulling you in, gripping your hair, or what he could grab. You missed this, you missed this greatly, and you never wanted it to end but it had to, you knew it was a glitch. You reached your hand up to the back of his neck and behind his ear and pulled the chip out.

He went blank, and you pulled away from him, looking at his glassy eyes. You hop up from where you're sitting, making sure he's ok, and you walk to your room. You inspect the tear on the chip and try to push it together but nothing is working. "Fuck" you mutter. You go over to get the glue from the corner of the table. You had a gut feeling you would fuck it up even more, but you only wanted him back and that's what was driving you.

You smeared the glue around the crack and smushed it together with little force but it stayed and your mood lightened, honestly thinking this was gonna work. You ran to the living room, excited for this to work. You hopped on the couch, Indian style in front of him and hugged his lifeless, synthetic body. You reached over and gently plugged the chip into the socket and he awoke.

As he began to blink, he started to gaze around the room until he found you. "Y/n, did it work?" He asks. His first words since you put the chip in. "I think it did!" You shake happily. He leans in for I kiss and you happily kiss him. It doesn't last long but it's something alright!. He gets up from the couch without warning and goes to the kitchen. "What are you doing Bishop?" You ask and he looks back at you and winks. "Hm…" you whisper to yourself and turn on the TV.

A few minutes later

Your favorite show is on and you are comfortable where you are at. Bishop strides into the room with a plate in hand. "Awww… you didn’t have to!" You say and he nods gently. "Well, you have helped me and now I shall give you something back." He says and you blush. He walks over to you to give you your favorite food. "How did you know this was my favorite?" "I have no clue, but I do know how to cook and make some things." He laments and you smile widely as you take the plate and dig in.

As you finish your meal, he is hooked to the TV screen. "It's a good show isn't it?" You laugh as his eyes are wide open, barely

blinking. "Oh my gods Bishop, you are hooked," you say as you lean onto his shoulder. He doesn't stop you this time and you smile. "A very good show" He murmurs. "I know right. I'm obsessed with it." You say and he chuckles. His hand reaches to your leg and gently glides up and down. "Oh Bishop let's move this to the bedroom." You smirk "Oh? Alright," He picks you up in bridal style.

You gasp but you are ok with it. When you reach the bedroom, he lets you down onto the bed slowly. He unbuttons his shirt and throws It aside. You reach to take of your shirt but he's already there, ripping it off with no hesitation. "Bishop- that was one of my favorite shirts," you say, a little angry. "My apologies Y/n'' he says as he kisses you deeply and you kiss him back. "Apology accepted" you smile on his lips. He takes one breast in hand and fondles with it slowly. "Oh…" you moan and he smiles and pushes his tongue against your teeth and you let him in.

Before you could do anything else, he pulls off of you and pulls his pants and boxers down and you see him. All of him. Fully hard, pressed against your leg. He slowly pulls down your pants and underwear in one and he sees all of you. You smile nervously and he nods. "I won't judge, I've seen you before, remember?" He says and you nod. His large hands push your legs apart and pushes you up to the bed frame, holding you up 4 inches above the bed, arms wrapped around your torso so you don't fall.

He starts a trail of kisses up your leg and you shake a little, knowing what he is going to do. He reaches your sex. "Is this ok?" He asks and with a quiet "mhm" his tongue delves into your folds and you let out a gasp. His tongue circles around your clit slowly and your knees shake. One of your hands reaches over to grip his hair and the other, to grip the sheets for support. His slow circles got faster until you couldn’t take it anymore. you're shuddering, and quivering under him.

"Bishop… oh! I'm gonna-" he cuts you off applying the perfect amount of pressure to your clit and you explode with pleasure. "Ah-AH!!" You scream, knowing you have neighbors but you couldn't give a shit right now. Your chest is rising and falling as you are still in his arms, coming down from your high. "B- Bishop… you're too good for me" you laugh and he rises from your heat and smiles.

He sets you down on the bed gently and grips the sides of your waist. His cock is even closer to your pussy than before. You move your hips closer to his stomach and he takes the hint as he lines himself up with your entrance. You moan out for him to continue and as soon as you know it, his tip is in, letting you adjust to his size. "Please" you moan with soft eyes looking into his. With a snap of his hips, his cock is all the way in you, and you scream out his name.

"Are you ok with this?" He asks. "Mhm!" You say, holding back tears. He slowly starts to thrust and he leans down on you and buries his head in your neck. everything that is coming out of his mouth are moans and grunts. Your eyes roll back into your head and your head is chin up. "You're doing- s- so good." You call out. He smiles, leaving a trail of kisses up your neck as one hand makes it to your neck and grips it lightly. He speeds up his pace and the pain quickly turns into pleasure.

You wrap your arms around him as he's pumping in and out of you, your nails digging into his back, feeling around it but also trying to get a grip on him. He sucks on the skin of your neck, leaving a light bruise there, and you moan softly. As he's pounding into you, you notice that the bed frame is wiggling out of place but you couldn't care less. Every thrust is hitting your G Spot and a single tear falls down your face.

One of his hands reaches down to your clit, while the other tightens around your neck slightly, to a comfortable position. "Ah! Bishop!!" You yell out and his thumb speeds up against your clit. Your legs begin to shake, and your hand grips the sheets. He grunts loudly, and his thrusting speeds to an unhuman pace and you are in a heaven on earth. You are moaning

his name, quite loud but you didn’t care if anyone heard.

"D- don't stop" you moan out and he grunts as he pounds harder into you, a finger faster around your clit. His thrusts were getting sloppier and sloppier as he began to grunt even more. With one more thrust came a loud "CRACK" from the back board of the bed frame. You couldn't think straight with all the pleasure coursing through your veins, making you feel ecstasy."f- fuck… the bed frame!" You say bet he shushes you. "Im- i- im-" you try to make out but he whispers in your ear "Please do my love." As he applies more pressure to your clit. And you cum violently around his cock, moaning his name, and scratching his back wildly.

As you are cumming around him, a hot liquid shoots into you and you quiver under him one last time. He falls on top of you, not too harshly, but hard enough to make you squeak. You try your best to push him off of you but he won't budge. He finally notices he might be hurting you and pushes himself up. Right before he could say something, or smile even, you pushed him off of you, and under you. "Y/n?" He smirked and you positioned yourself over his cock, hovering on top of it, looking into his cow eyes.

"I'm not done, Bishop" you sigh and smile, a little self conscious but you knew he wouldn't judge. You moan as you lower yourself onto him and his head flies back onto the pillow and he lets out a low groan. You position yourself so that you are sturdy enough to start moving. You start to move up and down on him and he grabs hips gently. He's helping you move on him and you start to smile, one hand playing with your clit, and the other on his soft chest.

"Oh!" You shout and he grunts, you assume to speed up, so you do. He's moving his hips to the rhythm of your pumps. You flung your head back, do to all the pleasure and body heat emitting off of you and him. Every thrust he made would send you into a galaxy full of stars that you've never seen before. The pace was perfection; The strength was immaculate; The feelings that you felt were like nothing you had ever experienced before, and all you could think about was hoping this moment never ended. He's perfect. He's lifting you up and down his shaft and everything goes numb for a second but you are holding on perfectly.

You look into his eyes as he looks back into them with a gleam in his. You keep a stare on him while he's making you feel like you could explode. You rock your fingers around your clit even faster than before. You are a moaning and panting mess above him, but you held eye contact with him until you couldn't see straight anymore. "Im- MPF," you say as you pulse around his cock, cumming for the last time. As your walls are gripping his length, his legs are slightly convulsing under you. He left you buzzed. You wondered if he could actually feel something, or what it was like for him.

As you are coming down from your high, he's trying his best to sit up. He does and hugs you while you are still on him. You breathe hot against his neck, panting, and slowly letting go of your grip on him. He begins to massage your scalp; it feels amazing. Then without warning, he lifts you off of him and you gasp. He sets you down beside him and you get under the sheets but he just lies there. You snuggle close to him and he stretches one arm around you and you bury your head into his underarm.

"Hey bishop…" you say and he turns his head your way "How did you emit that much heat when I was riding you?" You ask and he chuckles "Ok, so let me make it simple; it's kind of like when a computer heats up because there is too much going on in the system processor, or anything else that would make it slower or heated." He says with a wide smile. "Oh… was I overheating you?! I'm so sorry!" You cry but he laughs again "no, it's not your fault, it's all the energy building together in me." He says and you connect the dots after a second. "Wait, wait, wait, so you're telling me-" you say but he cuts you off with a nod.

"Yes, when I participate in sexual activities, such as intercourse, my system will

create sudden bursts of energy. It does not hurt me but I do feel it. It's… pleasuring, so I can produce a human-like orgasm." He laughs once more. His laugh is so sweet. "Wait, so have you ever Masturbated before?" You ask and he nods "Yep, multiple times. Just to feel something, anything really. It's not a required function, it's just something I do to "feel good,"" He answers. You thought it was quite sad that he only did that to feel, but it also made you glad that he could actually do something like that, to take care of himself, his body, like that.

He slowly sits upright on the bed and you frown "What's wrong?" You ask and he shakes his head. "Nothing, I just don't sleep." He says firmly and you forget he's a synthetic for a split second. "Well, what are you going to do all night?" You ask. "I think I might watch that show and make you something in the morning." He smiles and you yawn "I'd like that very much." You smile back, hugging him one last time before laying back down and heading off to sleep.

Tag list: (I heard you were really interested!) @soggy-enchilada :)

[leejeongz]

PETTY

genre: fluff w a tiny bit of angst, enemies to lovers

member: treasure’s jihoon

word count: 2.3k

never in your life had you realised how much you hated biology until you had to study the carbon cycle, which is pretty ironic considering you cared so much about the environment. you could tell your classmates felt the same way too, most of them were doodling or whispering or just generally looking like they’d rather be anywhere else.

“i’m not sure you’re all getting this” your teacher realised, giving up on her powerpoint and going to sit down “how about you tell me what the carbon cycle is. this can go towards your grade, this can be your presentation!” she got more excited with every word coming out of her mouth “present to me the carbon cycle! this time next week, dress nice, it's going to be recorded. okay, you can leave early for today, gives you more time to work on the presentation” she smiled sarcastically, dismissing you all.

dumping all of your stuff into your backpack, you sighed rather loudly. you teacher looked over towards you, the teacher you could have murdered right now. “i hope i get to hear that volume from you during your presentation y/n” she joked. she was a nice lady, well she was usually nice to you, you had a similar sense of humour, but she could be lazy at times, maybe it was because she’d already got her qualifications, as she kept reminding you all.

“hurry up” you looked up to see your seatmate haruto had waited for you and was planning on walking home with you.

both of you were pretty puzzled by the task since your teacher had told you nothing and so you decided to sit in the library until the end of the school day, trying to figure out what was going on, rather than going home and winging it.

“i mean, i think i get it now” he announced, looking up from his book which he secretly had hidden his phone in “i’d help you but i don’t want our presentations to be so similar that mrs ‘i’m too lazy to teach you anything so do it yourself’ thinks we copied from each other”

you gave him a dirty look, knowing he was joking. “well then maybe i will no longer be your seatmate, no more cute stationery for you, unlucky pal”.

“now now, don’t be too hasty” he said while packing his things up once again “my friend said he can help you”.

Haruto had been obsessed with setting you up these days, ever since you told him you were ready for a relationship, he’d been trying to make one happen. now was the perfect opportunity to hook you up with yet another one of his friends, it was an unlikely relationship, he thought, but who knows.

“who? which boy is it this time? do you even have any friends left?” you asked.

“his name is jihoon, he got an A* for biology so i think he’s qualified enough to teach you.” he presented to you his phone with a picture of him on it.

you knew exactly who he was talking about. park jihoon. the name sent shivers down your spine. he was the head boy at your school when you first moved there. you had such bad memories of him. he once “accidentally” spilled water all over your work in the library, he always told you off for your uniform being “a mess” even though it was always immaculate, you saw him litter on numerous occasions and to make things worse, he tried to a rumour that your old school had lice and that you’d probably brought them with you. luckily not many people believed him, a lot of people shared the same opinion as you: there was just no way he was a nice guy.

“yeah, i don’t think it’s gonna happen” you scratched the back of your head “people whose name start with j… i’ve been warned about them”

“literally shut up that’s the most pathetic excuse i've ever heard. i’ve just sent you his address and he’s already agreed”

you couldn’t really not go now… you weren’t a bad person like jihoon was so you didn’t want to let anyone down. you put on your school hoodie and some leggings in a rush to get to jihoon’s house on time, it was the other side of the city and you didn’t want to be late, especially considering how bad the bus service was.

when you arrived, you suddenly remembered how attractive this boy was and it made you even more unwilling to knock on his door, how could someone so mean be blessed with such a nice face? before you even had the chance to consider knocking, a smiling young boy answered the door.

“hi! i’m-“ he stopped, making eye contact with you for the first time. he stood tall in what you presumed was a new sweatshirt and jeans, your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. “you? you want my help? is this some kind of joke?” he scoffed “i guess you can come in” he shut the door behind you while whispering “the audacity” under his breath.

you sat on his scratch free leather sofa, it was brown and matched perfectly with the freshly decorated living room, you gathered he’d just moved there, probably his first house. you thought it was funny how his cute hello kitty socks really juxtaposed the whole vibe of the house, a small smile forming on your face. you were so caught up in your thoughts you didn’t even realise he’d asked you a question.

“did i say you could sit down?” he asked sternly. you never really knew what you did wrong to him, you just kind of… accepted it.

“right yes sorry” you stood up and awkwardly adjusted the hem hoodie. “uhh so it’s on the carbon cycle and i have no clue-“

“i know what it’s on you idiot, i wasn't gonna agree if i didn’t, was i?” he interrupted “well are you gonna sit down then?” he asked only to receive an eye roll from you as you sat down again.

you placed your bag next to you and pulled out your laptop. positioning it on his coffee table, you failed to notice jihoon had already left the room.

“what’s that?” he asked, placing two glasses of juice on the table “is it from the 90s?” he asked, following it up with an extremely condescending laugh.

you looked up at him, the heat radiating off your face resulting from a mixture of anger and sadness. “what did i do? why have you hated me since day one huh?” you finally snapped, it’s a shame jihoon barely heard you though.

“i’m gonna presume you asked why i hate you and the answer is” he cleared his throat “your old school”.

your face had definitely cooled down by this point “my old school?” you laughed.

“as head boy it was pretty much my job to hate any other school and the students there, just a shame you were one i guess” he confessed, his stern face softened as he spoke. “it was petty really, but petty is my middle name so what can i say?”

“i can tell” you responded, eyes narrowing as a sarcastic smile formed on your face. “shall we get to work now?” you asked, not wanting to waste any more time with him because somehow it made it even worse that the reason he hated you was just your old school.

“oh did he not tell you?” you looked at him puzzled and shook your head. “tonight we were just supposed to get acquainted because i don’t have much time, i’m going out later and i want to look fresh for the ladies.” he pulled twice on his sweatshirt, that typical cliche “cool guy” action just suited him for some reason. “so we have like 3 hours that’s all.”

“what, 3 hours won’t be enough to complete this?” you could have cried thinking about it, throwing your head back when you saw that jihoon had shook his head. “i’m gonna have to come over again aren’t i?” you asked, dreading the answer you already knew you were going to receive.

“fraid so” he responded.

it took some time, but you finally came around to the idea, not that you had a choice, you couldn’t do this without him. you reached into your bag once again, this time pulling out your metal straw and placing it into the orange beverage on the table.

“ooo fancy” jihoon cooed, eyes following your hands. “let me get mine” he got up, dashing to the kitchen and returning with his pink, silicone straw. “save he turtles, am i right?” you naturally laughed along with him which you soon stopped when you realised you were joking? with park jihoon?

throughout the next half an hour there were countless incidents which were similar, only you’d begun to let yourself laugh. were you maybe finally starting to like this boy too? this is the closest you’d ever felt to liking one of haruto’s friends, it just felt weird that it had to be him.

as if on queue, you received a phone call from haruto. you answered sheepishly, not wanting to distract jihoon who was now intensely staring at his phone as if he was waiting for an important message. “hey ruto, can you text me instead?” you requested. before he could answer, you put the phone down. a few seconds later your phone chimed.

ruto 🍩: how is it going? made any moves yet? i mean done any work yet? ;)

you tutted as you read the message which caught jihoons attention. “what is it?” he inquired, getting out of his chair and moving your bag. he sat down right next to you and peeked over your shoulder. the intimacy was nice, you didn’t like that it was nice, but it was.

“a little privacy please?” you moved your phone from his eye line and turned to face the other way.

you: i kind of like him ya know? it’s too early to tell. i mean i don’t hate him now i guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

swoosh, away your message went. had you really just told him that you liked someone you used to hate?

ruto 🍩: interesting… i’ll have a word with him.

a certain panic set in, but you couldn’t do anything about it when you heard a beeping noise coming from jihoon’s kitchen. you suspected it was a fire alarm, the way he abruptly got up and rushed in there.

“it’s ruined” he shouted, there was a hint of anger in his voice that seemed familiar. you hesitantly walked towards his kitchen and asked what he’d supposedly ruined. “nothing it’s nothing, just go back and start working, we can do it in 2 hours if you work fast. are you capable of that?”. the soft jihoon that you were just getting used to had suddenly disappeared, it felt like a kick in the stomach and you knew your presentation wasn’t gonna be great now.

for the next hour or so you worked tirelessly on the presentation, now making a poster instead of a powerpoint since what jihoon wanted to do, you HAD to do right now. there was undiable tension in the air, neither of you wanted to talk about it but it didn’t stop you from being curious. an occasional phone buzz broke the silence, but neither of you checked your notifications. not until you once again threw yourself back into his sofa, this time your head was in your hands. you understood nothing going on in your poster and the “help” you were getting was minimal.

jihoon grabbed his phone, not really sure on what to do when he saw you.

haruto: yes jihoon, they like you now make your move

haruto: bro… ur silence is concerning what’s going on there?

he gently placed his phone on the glass table, slightly moving the oversized poster, brushing your leg as it moved and catching your attention.

he stood up from the carpet and sat beside you.

“i’m sorry i flipped like that on you” he whispered while his hand made its way to your knee. “we can come back to it tomorrow” he glanced at you.

“wont you be hungover, or won’t you be trying to shoo away some one night stand? i know your type” you sniffled through tears. no one had seen you cry before but for some reason you didn’t feel embarrassed.

“well actually i’ve decided to not go out tonight. i have a netflix account that isn’t getting used and i was wondering” he started, shuffling closer to you “if you wanted to watch something with me? you know, just to take your mind off things” his eyes widened looking back at the disastrous poster in front of him.

“maybe” you thought for a while, remembering what haruto said he was gonna do and realising he’d probably done it “on one condition” you smirked.

“what is it?” he flirted, prepared to do anything for you. by now he’d somehow managed to wrap his arm around your shoulders too, just adding to the ambiance he’d created in 0.2 seconds.

“tell me what you ruined in the kitchen” you begged.

“it was-“ he paused for a second, wondering if he should tell you or just show you. he pulled his arm from around you and quickly went to get the tray from the kitchen. “i attempted to bake some cookies in the shape of clouds and the sea and cows, but as you can see they are definitely not medium rare, more well done i’d say. i was thinking we could have filmed a little video with them tomorrow or something when they were cool as your presentation. kinda glad they burnt, why would i want to waste such a good idea on you” he emphasised the “you” and faked heaved, a teasing tone evident in his voice.

“we could still ice them or paint them or something” you enthused.

“anything to spend more time with me, huh?” he teased further, foreshadowing the future of your relationship with each other.

🔅please let me know what you think about this! i’m not really confident posting it so any feedback would be much appreciated! i also just wanna say that the character i made up for jihoon does not reflect him as a person! i’m sure he’s not an evil person irl i just wrote this for entertainment🔅

[aetherarf]

I have a neat fatui oc that someone's helped me build(thewangshuinn is their blog)

His name is Corpus(codename atleast). He's a cryo bow user who can raise the dead(which I figure fits in since Qiqi exists). He is very ruthless and nonstop when given an objective, however his childishness can often lead to trouble, like when he was supposed to scout out Baal's palace but instead tried charging them down. He gained his vision from his devotion to the Tsarista, and his burst is temporarily summoning three undead with ice armor.

They also have a split personality due to watching their family being slaughtered when he was a kid, which resulted in a sort of "mental copy" of his brother, but because he was to young to know his name the personality is simply called "brother". He is much calmer and more methodical than his brother, and thanks to Corpus' powerful mind he is capable of taking care of Corpus when he over works himself. Because he is a different person, his vision is also different. He won his vision during a poker game with Baal(because he needed to win his freedom after Corpus charged her down), but because of that it's defective and will activate his burst, a 'suit' of electro, randomly which results in a few fires. To best use his burst and make up for Corpus' weaknesses, he wields a claymore.

To clarify abilities:

Corpus: ability-summon undead: raises one enemy at random for 10 seconds to fight for you. Burst-elite guard: summons 3 undead soldiers with ice armor and swords for 10 seconds.

Brother: ability-reaping: a two part attack where Brother's weapon becomes a scythe and attacks in a wide range horizontally then vertically. Burst-electro armor: surrounds Brother in an armor of electricity that protects from 75% of damage and extends the reaping ability's range by five times.

I hope that's fine, I've never had the chance to explain them before like this so it might not be formatted well. Plus abilities have never been my strong suit so any criticism there would be very welcomed.

Another one I was late on cuz sleepy.

When I hear of this I'm reminded of childe a little bit, but in a darker way, instead of just being half housespouse material and half feral, it's a terrifying coping mechanism which i've actually seen before... Sad, but people do odd things to cope.

It's interesting to see how different both Corpus and Brother are, and how it all manifested from pure trauma and pain.

And the idea of someone using a vision that isnt theirs!! I wonder if it's similar to a delusion, or maybe it causes a lot of pain or generally deteriorates your body because you're not supposed to be handling it, so forcing yourself to be bare to the elements themselves without your vision to keep you safe can definitely end up backfiring on you.

and I'm actually not... good at abilities? So I don't think I could help, sorry! I'm usually far more interested in story as far as ocs and even in game characters go. But from my limited knowledge of How To Make Abilities those all seems rlly cool!!

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE CULLEN CAR PROFILES IN THE GUIDE: PART 1

So I finished reading the Cullen Cars section in the Guide, and guys it is PAINFUL how obviously this was written by, not just a motorhead, but a car nerd.

This section, obviously, was written by Meyer's brother, Jacob. And the end-result was exactly what I was afraid of: each one reads like it was copy-pasted from the promotion pamphlets.

The entries on the more day-to-day cars are full of car-jargon like "lateral acceleration" and "front-biased weight distribution", without telling the reader in any fun way or layman's terms what any of that means, common sense aside. We've all had to listen to a car buff drone at some point and this is that. These entries are just slightly overly technical and don't actually say much about the cars' personalities.

He calls the Porsche "seemingly less race[ing]-inspired" than more expensive super cars, but one of the biggest ways Porsche made a name for themselves was with the original 911's and it was on EUROPEAN RACING STAGES. WTH!!!

WORST OF ALL, THOUGH, are the entries on Edward's Aston Martin and Bella's Ferrari. These are full of goo-goo eyed, rose tinted drivel. It is telling, to me, that these more highly engineered cars don't get much of an info dump about their suspension or advanced technology or any of the stuff we got with the daily drivers. With Edward's Aston we get things like

"... a car that has the looks, performance and competence of a true sports car, while offering enough luxury to call into into question its sporting nature."

And

"While technically (Dude. what? "Technically"? I'm sorry?) a sports car, the British-made Aston is the proper gentleman of the group... made in true British style, every ounce of this car alludes to old-world money, power and manners."

He also calls it merely "competent on racetrack and says its better as a high-performance cruiser when, like, no bro. This was supposed to be the shouty racer and the DB9 is the high performance luxury GT (Grand Tour) car. You utter pillock.

Now I'm not gonna argue any of the praise for the Ferrari because I feel more confident in that, from the testimony of people who've owned one. It was at the time (And may still be, if you aren't that dazzled by the 458) the best car in the world.

That said look at this:

"The car's beautifully designed lines and curves remind the viewer more of classical Italian sculpture than anything related to transportation."

LOL. Now don't get me wrong the Ferrari F430 is a very pretty car.

Not everyone thinks so (and to be fair, once you see the "Smile" in the front end, you can't unsee it), but I do. BUT EVEN I, AN ADMIRER OF THE FANCY CARS, do not think that is, in any way, more related to art than driving. PUH-LEASE. That is a very beautiful car, but it is still just a car. If you want to talk about a car being more closely related to Italian sculpture that transportation, then go find an Alfa Romeo fawn over. Because that really is all they're good for.

Because the thing is, Ferrari are kind of like... how do I wanna put this. Okay well let's say Ferrari are the Gryffindor of the car world. Everyone wants to be a Ferrari owner. They have a long pedigree and they, historically and presently make great cars with all the latest advancements and technology. They're like a black dress or a red rose - no one will argue with the classics. But to me at least, they kind of lack... well, personality. It's kind of taken for granted that a Ferrari is gonna be the best car in any given line-up, without anyone ever actually explaining why. It might be, I think, that Ferrari have become a bit overrated. That's not to say that Ferrari shouldn't be given due respect, especially for something like the F430, but here's where I have an issue.

In my Cullen Car post about Bella's Ferrari, I posed the question: was the Ferrari chosen for Bella because it both captures how Edward has always seen Bella, even before she was strong and beautiful in her own estimation, and because it's user friendly, easy to get the best out of it, and actually, surprisingly, suits her personality pretty well As flashy as the F430 seems at first glance, in it's sleek, low-slung, super car way, it still looks purposeful. It's not ostentatious, other than that it's red. It doesn't over-do it in the way, say, a Lamborghini does. It's not out to grab attention, it's here to do what it loves and is good at and that's driving.

Unfortunately, it turns out my concern was justified, because what Jacob's profile on the F430 has confirmed for me is that Bella's Ferrari was chosen simply because it was the prettiest, most impressive "best" car on the market at the time. Had Breaking Dawn taken place in 2010, it would have been a 458, and that's sad - because that truly wouldn't have suited Bella at all.

Look at it.

I think all of this is because, and this is just speculation, but I'll be willing to bet that Jacob's never actually driven any of these cars. The way it goes with most car enthusiasts, I think, is that we see these super fancy, beautiful cars (these in the pantheon of Super/Hyper half-million dollar cars) and we treat them like celebrities. We form opinions based on their looks, we read reviews of them in Car and Driver and things like that, and from the makers themselves - all venues designed, at the end of the day, to sell them.

I've admitted that a lot of my opinions are formed from watching Top Gear and maybe that doesn't make me any better, but what I like about the reviews done by people like Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond is that they don't skimp on pointing out faults as well as favors, even on cars they love and respect, and they always do it in an entertaining way that holds my attention and gives a sense of personality beyond the car's looks and what their manufacturers say they can do. I can't say I would totally agree with their opinions if I ever did get a chance to drive any of these cars, but I at least I can feel some trust in their experience; and they do discuss all these cars in comparison to other contemporaries, and a lot of the time they disagree too, and that gives me more perspective to work with.

Because, like celebrities, even Ferraris have faults. Just because it's a hugely respected brand, like Aston Martin, doesn't mean that every aspect of that car is gonna be faultless and brilliant. Jacob never mentions the Vanquish's shitty gearbox because Jacob has probably never had to deal with it. Neither have I, but I think a certain degree of circumspection is warranted.

I've spiraled a bit here, I didn't intend to be so long winded, but I'm passionate about this. I'm gonna cut off here and do a part 2.

[musicallydivine]

[ID: A header reading "What Helps Me Write" in orange, capitalized text. The top half of the background is pastel green and the bottom half is pastel blue. On the left of the text is a sharpened number 2 pencil, and on the right of the text is a white eraser and an orange binder clip. /end ID]

As someone with ADHD and a busy schedule, it is often hard for me to get into the right mindset, or have enough time to write, even though it's something I love to do. Whether it be creative writing, or an assignment for one of my university courses, it can be hard to get started on writing, but once I start, I can't seem to stop.

Over the years, I've found a method that works for me, so I thought I would share it here so others who find they have similar struggles can try some of what I have found helps me! Hopefully, you'll find something here that works for you to, although chances of my entire process being what works for are slim, so make sure to try out other things too. After all, we're all different people who need and use different things!

1. The first thing I always do when I'm getting ready to write is find a quiet place with minimal distractions. This can be my bedroom or sunroom at home, my dorm room or practice room at college, someplace quiet outside such as a secluded area of a park. Wherever I won't have to worry about people interrupting me and where I am comfortable enough to focus.

2. Next, I set the mood for whatever it is I'm writing. Silence gives my brain too much room to wander, so I like to put on instrumental music to fill that void. The genre of music I put on depends on what I'm writing. If I'm working on an assignment that I need to crank out because it's due in a few hours and I had been neglecting to start on it, I put on a playlist of music from final boss battles in video games. If I'm writing something sad, I'll put on sad piano music. If I'm writing a fantasy story, I'll put on Renaissance music. Whatever I think will fit the mood of the story, to act almost as background music if the story were a movie playing out in my head.

3. I set alarms. This one may seem a bit weird, and might be unnecessary for some of you, but I often forget that there are other things that I need to do when I'm writing, such as eating, drinking, and going to the bathroom. So, I set alarms to remind me of these things. Every 10 minutes, I set an alarm to remind me to take a drink of water. Every hour, I set alarm to remind me to go to the bathroom, and every 2 hours, I set an alarm to remind me to eat something.

4. Now, we get to the actual writing part. To start writing, I go to writeordie.com. If I'm writing for an assignment, I set the word goal to that amount of words, or to the maximum amount of words if the assignment is over the maximum or I am writing for a creative project. I always set the grace period to 2 seconds, as this keeps me more on top of making sure I am writing instead of staring off into space. Then, I enable Kamikaze Mode and start writing. Note: there is a pause button, so if one of my alarms goes off or I need to look something up, I use that to my advantage.

5. Once I have met my word goal or have completed what I intended to write for the day, I save the word document that the website gives me and open up a new word document, formatted how I need it to be based on what I am writing. Instead of copying and pasting from the Write or Die word document into the new document, I retype everything and make minor edits to spelling and grammar as I retype.

6. I make another edit. Once everything is retyped into a new word document, I reread over it all, making even more edits and adjustments to the writing as I see fit. Sometimes there are errors that I did not find the first time, or new errors that had been made as I retyped everything.

7. I use the immersive reader option in the view tab of word to read aloud everything that I have written to me. This gives me a better feel for grammar and sentence structure, and helps me make my final edits.

8. After finishing up writing for a while, I like to celebrate with something! So, after I save my document and turn it in if it's an assignment, I get myself a treat. This can be anything from a bowl of ice cream to watching an episode or two of a show to going out to buy a donut or other treat for myself.

As I said before, this is just what works for me. There is no one right way to do anything, but hopefully my process can give you some inspiration or someplace to start figuring out your own writing process!

[ariaste]

Hi I have a fanfic related question and you seem like the perfect person to ask. A couple years ago I wrote a book review where I posited that the book, which is part of a series I hold deep affection for, would have been better with only one of its dual perspectives included. Lately I've been tempted to strip out the other perspective. Maybe tweak what's necessary to make it work. Something of a "put my money where my mouth is." Or, effort, at least. I'm worried this would cross a line.

what.....wait, like... Like you’re going to type (or whatever) the book into a word document and just erase all of the scenes from the perspective of Character B? uh.

okay. i have several answers for this. 

The short answer: Your instincts are correct, this would cross a line. Actually it would cross several lines, depending on what you DO with the.... thing.... you have created.

My answer as a fanfiction reader & the hypothetical reader of your....creation...: This is a waste of my time. I am not getting anything new by reading this thing. I’ve already read the book. If I wanted to only read the parts from Character A’s perspective, I have access to a copy of the book myself, I could just do that thing. My answer as a fanfiction writer: This is a waste of your time. Write something new. Write the whole book from Character C’s perspective. You know, Character C? That background character who wasn’t one of the POV characters? What’s goin’ on in their head while all this is happening?

My answer as a Writer, An Artiste: Cutting out all of Character B’s scenes is pretty insulting to the author’s original vision. It’s like deciding that you don’t like the background of the Mona Lisa, so you’re just gonna trim that bit out.

My answer as a professional author, if you decide to do this in the privacy of your own home, e.g. by taking a black sharpie to all of Character B’s scenes, or by taping paper over the top of them: I mean, you bought that copy of the book, you can do whatever you want with that physical object. You could take it in the bathtub, you could cut out a hollow in the pages to hide your Secret Gun, you could fuckin’ burn it if you wanted to. I don’t own you.  My answer as a professional author, if you do this and post it anywhere online: Hold on a second, let me get in character.... Ahem. “Hello! I, the original author of the text, am really sorry to send you this cease & desist letter but that thing you did DOES violate the definition of “transformative work” and does not qualify as “fair use”. That’s just a straight-up copyright infringement -- you have stolen half the text and you have made it available for other people to steal as well. Please take it down before I email my publisher, who may decide to send lawyers after you. I’m also going to be reporting it to the mods of the hosting website as well, and depending on their policies you may get permanently banned. It is not a transformative work. It’s just piracy.” In case you were wondering about those terms and definitions, here’s an explanation. The relevant quote: 

...[T]he status of a transformative work seems to be defined by two questions:

*  Has the material taken from the original work been transformed by adding new expression or meaning? *  Was value added to the original by creating new information, new aesthetics, new insights, and understandings?

soooooooooooooo. yeah. I would...........not do this thing......... if i were you.......... 

That said, if you absolutely must do it, do it on a physical copy of the book that you have bought (preferably new, preferably from your local indie bookstore rather than Amazon) and do not ever show the author, ever, ever, ever. Do not post pictures of this thing on social media. Do not post about the project on Goodreads. DEFINITELY DO NOT ASK THE AUTHOR TO SIGN IT AT A BOOKSIGNING. You WILL hurt their feelings, they will NOT think this is a cute project. They will feel sad. They will feel like you just took a giant shit all over months or years of their hard work. Please take a moment to imagine what that would feel like if someone did it to you. 

DO NOT SHOW THE AUTHOR. Hope that helped! I tried to answer as comprehensively as possible since there’s a couple different levels of “oh....friend, noooo. noooo, friend, noooo” going on here. 

And of course there are no hard feelings just because you asked a question! I’m really glad you listened to your instincts about seeking a second opinion! *thumbs up*