#Ive been trying to come up with reasons for them to just disappear | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heartpascal · 1 year

Text

or is it loneliness?

▹— (eventual) spiderverse found family x platonic!reader

▹— summary: you need closure, and information. two visits kind of give you that.

▹— a/n: guys idk what im DOING. i have things planned for atsv but not how we’re gonna get there … rn im just yolo-ing. im not a big fan of this one but im gonna start writing the next one asap, which will hide fully be more found family-ish lmao arachnid is gonna start warming up to them all some day i swear

▹— warnings: angst, injuries, not good thoughts, dead parents, sensory issues, explosions, violence, fighting, blood?, damaged hearing for a good minute, peter b parker eating burgers deserves its own warning, food, mention of throwing up / nausea, insecurities about being good enough, refusing help, idk what else, if ive missed anything let me know!!!

▹— taglist: @rhymingtree (everything taglist) @justmare @uniquemonstrosity @lacunaanonymoused @erensbbg @dulceteris @noxxing @escherichiacolli @ray-rook @i-3at-kidz @miwagila @stoneforests (is it freedom’verse) — also i only tagged those who explicitly asked to be tagged!

MASTERLIST , part one

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

You spend a long time sat on the edge of the open window, staring out at the traffic below after getting back from Spider Society HQ. There’s a tangible relief that comes with returning to your dimension, like a weight being removed, a tension that is finally released from where it had been pulled taut. Your shoulders feel just as heavy as they did when you left, but you try not to think about it. You try to be happy that you’re back.

While you wouldn’t say it aloud, and you hate to even have the thought, you don’t think anybody had noticed you were gone. But then again, who would? You have no reason to be so upset about such a thing.

Time slips by as you diligently sew up the tears in your suit, frowning as you hold it up once you’re finished. It looks nothing like it used to, but then again, neither do you. Things have changed, it only makes sense that your suit would, too. You wonder if travelling through alternate dimensions can alter your perception of things. You’d swear that your suit had been a different shade before you left, lighter, maybe, but you have nothing to compare it to.

At least now, this time, when you put on your suit there is evidence of damage that Gwen Stacy had caused. The stitching along your the material where she had tore into you is a tangible thing, physical, and you run your fingers across it as if it might disappear. It’s almost a relief, to be able to feel where she had caused you pain, as opposed to the invisible ache she had left within you after fighting her the first time around.

Alongside the scar raised on your body, the fight with Gwen had left you with a sort of paranoia. An uncertainty in the back of your mind that has you glancing over your shoulder, has you messing up simple manoeuvres as you panic, thinking you hear her voice.

It must have been your third day back from the HQ that you come to the conclusion that you have to visit Gwen Stacy in her prison.

The decision doesn’t come easily. It comes slowly, torturously so, a realisation that deafens you as you glare through squinted lenses at the city around you. You won’t be able to go on like this, getting yourself hurt in stupid ways all because you’re not certain that she’s back in her prison. You’re meant to be a hero, which means that messing up, despite whatever paranoia that lingers in the back of your head, is unacceptable. It has consequences.

Seeing her in the flesh will likely be the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Except, maybe, not killing her when you caught her in that other dimension. You keep your mind on the fact that she won’t be able to touch you, that she’ll be walled away, to reassure yourself that there is no risk of either of you hurting the other — at least, physically.

But seeing her isn’t the only difficult part.

No, the hardest part is stepping back into an identity that you had lost your grasp on, long ago. You wear your old clothes, clothes that you hadn’t put on in months, and try to remember how it felt to be you, rather than Arachnid.

“Hi, Mrs. Stacy.” You say, when the door to an all too familiar apartment opens just a slither, and you catch sight of her wrinkled eyes. There’s a noticeable change to them when she realises who you are, and she’s slamming the door shut, undoing the chain, and reopening it before you can say another word.

She whispers your name like she can’t believe it’s you — and you can’t blame her.

You had disappeared, months ago, after the death of your father. Going missing was far easier than being placed in a foster system that would only hold you back. It had been so much easier, not having to face anyone, not having to speak at his funeral.

“Hi.” You repeat, when her stare lingers in the silence for far too long. The sound of your voice once again breaks her out of her trance, and she’s rushing forward to pull you into her arms as if you were her child. You suppose, in some ways, it was quite a lot like that. At the very least, your presence will remind her of the daughter she had lost.

“Where have you been? Oh, honey, I was so worried.” Mrs. Stacy says, her voice trembling by your ear as she squeezes you tight, unfazed by your lack of reciprocation. “Come inside, please.”

You follow her through the doorway, closing the door behind you as you had done so many times before. Not looking around at the apartment is near impossible, but you’re not sure how much familiarity you can take. Even just seeing Mrs. Stacey’s aged face makes your chest ache, your legs feeling shaky.

“Sit down, honey, let me get you a warm drink.” She says, a tremor to her voice as she bustles towards the kitchen which is adjoined to the living room. The news plays on the television, and you’re glad to hear a weather report, rather than some city-wide attack. Mrs. Stacy is quiet as she goes through the process of making your favourite drink, but with your enhanced hearing you listen to the telltale clink of a spoon against ceramic. You listen closely to her hitched breathing as her footsteps pad back into the room. “Here.” She hands you the warm mug, and you don’t comment on the way her hand shakes.

“Thank you.” You say, though it feels stilted, wrong, too formal. It’s hard to be normal in this setting, to be whoever you used to be, especially as she stares at you like she’s seen a ghost.

Mrs. Stacy stares at you for a long while before she speaks again, as if she’s still not sure that you’re real. “Where have you been? After—After your dad… we didn’t know what happened to you. Are you safe? Do you need help?” She asks, frantic once she’s gotten started on her questions.

“Mrs. Stacy, I’m fine, really.” You lie, smiling tightly over the rim of the mug as you hold it towards your face. Before, you would’ve burnt your tongue drinking it too fast, but you’re hesitant to drink it at all. The last thing you want is to become too familiar to your old life. “I’ve been staying with some friends, downtown. It’s been good.”

She raises a brow at you, and stares for a moment longer. “Honey… you don’t look well.” She tells you, and raises the back of her hand to press it against your forehead. Her frown only deepens when you flinch away from the touch. You try not to curse yourself too much, but can’t help reprimanding the way you hadn’t anticipated such an action.

The skin on your forehead is clammy, but that’s just the anxiety, the nerves at being back here. Arachnid can’t get sick.

“Listen, I… I was hoping I could ask a favour from you.” You say, hesitantly, gripping the warm mug tight between your hands, but loosen your fingertips against the ceramic when you hear a minute crack.

Mrs. Stacy furrows her brows, looking more concerned by the second, but nods. “Of course, anything.” She tells you, and places one of her hands against yours on the mug.

“I was hoping I could visit Gwen.” You voice, after one last moment of hesitation. The way her face immediately crumples at the request doesn’t give you much hope, especially as her hand withdraws from your own. “I—I know you don’t get to see her very often, and maybe it’s selfish, but… I don’t know. I wanted some kind of closure, I guess.” You ramble on in response to her silence, glaring down at the liquid still swirling in your mug.

“Honey,” Mrs. Stacy interrupts, her voice soft in contrast to the way yours was growing in volume. You quiet immediately, your gaze drawn up to where her tearful eyes stare at you, her expression almost mourning. “I would never deny you that, but you should know… I haven’t visited Gwenny since she was put in there.” She admits, her stare dropping to her lap, almost ashamed.

“Oh,” You voice, softly, in response. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed— I—I mean, I can’t even imagine—”

“No, don’t be silly, how would you have known?” She replies, raising her eyebrows at you strictly. “Now, I can get you that visit. I’ll call my attorney first thing tomorrow, but… really, honey, do you need me to call someone for you? Who are these friends?”

Her voice is familiar, and it’s kind, which makes it all the more painful. It’s strange, seeing the resemblance between her and the Green Goblin, and it makes a part of you ache. Your life wasn’t the only one torn apart by Gwen. In fact, her mother probably faced the worst of it. With her husband being long gone, her oldest son away at college, youngest withdrawn after her daughter became a homicidal maniac, who did she really have left? Who was looking after Helen Stacy?

You smile at her, as best as you can without tearing up, and reach out to grasp her hand, which she readily accepts. “I’m okay, Mrs. Stacy, I… It’s just a few friends of my dad, from his home town. Their kids, too. It’s better than being put in the system.” You tell her, and can only hope that she believes you. You have no way to back up these lies, knowing those friends of your father don’t exist.

“You could’ve stayed here, you know?” She says, teary and squeezing your hand so tightly you can hear your bones creaking. You smile sadly at her.

“You’re a much stronger person than me, Mrs. Stacy. I couldn’t even face my dad’s funeral, let alone be around the memories of somebody I lost. This place, it—it reminds me of her.” You explain, voice shaking as you hold back your own tears, swallowing them down and trying to breathe through the ache in your throat.

The way her heart breaks is almost loud enough for you to hear it, but she nods her head understandingly, regardless. “Of course,” She says, nodding still, “But know you always have a place here, okay?”

“Okay.” You respond, heart clenching so tightly you’re not sure it can pump your blood any longer.

“Now, what’s your number? Your old phone was disconnected.” She says, shaking her tears away to pull out a pad and pen from the coffee table. She sets the notepad against her knee, looking expectantly toward you.

“Oh, right,” You stutter, teeth chattering as you comb your mind for the number of your burner phone. “There was a mixup, because it was in my dad’s name.” You explain needlessly, still searching your mind for the answer. Finally, you remember it. You listen to her ballpoint pen scrape along the paper as she writes the numbers as you say them, and then she clicks the pen off after writing your name beside it, underlining it twice.

“How about I give you a call with the details of your visit, okay, honey?” She asks, nodding with a pleased hum at your affirmative. “Good. Stay for dinner, okay? I’ve missed you.”

Who are you to deny her that?

Though, even as you try to pretend that you help to set up the table for her benefit, and as you hug Gwen’s little brother tightly when he comes home for his, you know, deep down, that it’s for you. That this is a moment of selfishness that you’ll let yourself have, because god, you deserve it, don’t you?

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

It’s thirteen days post Spider Society discovery, and you’re starting to regret the way you discarded that watch so carelessly. Not because you want to be a part of some cult of superheroes, but because you wish you had asked some more questions.

Surely Miguel O’Hara must’ve known a way to stop these villains from appearing in other universes? And if he did, had he already implemented whatever it was to stop Gwen escaping again? How exactly did she escape the first time? Was it a coincidence? Is there somebody out there, working behind the scenes, helping her get out?

You, unfortunately, have no way to answer any of the burning questions nagging at the back of your head. While a part of you hopes that you never see any of the Spider Society weirdos again, you also desperately want answers. Especially if it meant you could call off your visit to Gwen Stacy.

But the day arrives as any other does, and you spend every moment before the drive over to the prison desperately hoping that one of the Spider-people will show their face. None of them do, and you’re left to get into Mrs. Stacy’s car and simply brace for the journey ahead.

You’re pretty sure that swinging would be quicker, or easier, but you had no way to explain that way of transport to an interrogating Mrs. Stacy, and so you had to relent to her insistence on driving you. Now, you sit here, shifting in the seat of the car, uncomfortable without your suit underneath the clothes you used to wear on a daily basis. Even the knowledge that it’s stuffed into the bottom of your tattered backpack in the boot of Mrs. Stacy’s car doesn’t bring you any comfort.

Instead, the rough material of an old jacket has your skin crawling like you were being bitten by a thousand mosquitos, and the trousers on your legs itch like you’re allergic to them.

You suppose, really, that the spider bite that gave you so many powers had to have more drawbacks than just destroying your life. It only makes sense that your heightened senses would extend to the receptors on your skin. It makes every movement in these clothes torturous, and you wonder if it had always been this way, or if you were just so unused to wearing your old style of clothes. Either way, you hope that you won’t have to wear them for much longer.

If it all goes to plan, you should be in and out of the prison, just ensuring that Gwen Stacy is actually in the cell as she’s supposed to be. Then you just have to endure the fifty minute drive back to the city with Mrs. Stacy, and you’re free. You won’t have to wear these clothes again, won’t have to use your name, no — you can just sink back into the half life that is being Arachnid. It’s better that way.

“Okay, honey, here we are.” Mrs. Stacy says at last, having shifted her car into park. She pointedly avoids looking at the looming high-security prison ahead, instead focusing on you as you wipe your sweaty palms against your trousers. “Now you take as much time as you need in there, alright? I’ll be just out here, if you need me.”

You smile tightly at her, nodding with what you hope is more of a grateful expression rather than a grimace. “Thank you, Mrs. Stacy, really. I appreciate it, more than you know.”

That much was true — after all, it wasn’t like you could tell her that she was allowing the vivid paranoia you had been experiencing to be put to rest after her daughter escaped to another universe. Mrs. Stacy, from what you could gather, didn’t even know that Gwen had been missing for any amount of time. She had no idea what Gwen had done, how many more people she had hurt, but you assured yourself that it was better that way. Mrs. Stacy already had to deal with plenty, and that knowledge surely wouldn’t help.

She was already dealing with her own grief and feelings on the situation, as well as trying to support her two sons in the matter. Given what Gwen’s little brother had asked of you when he found out about you visiting her, you knew that he hadn’t been to visit Gwen, either. It seemed that he wasn’t coping with it all very well.

“Of course, you’re family. You should know that by now.” She says, smiling with teary eyes, reaching across the console to grasp your hand tightly in her own.

Her words take a stab at your chest, especially considering what had happened to everybody else who had seen you as family. Dead parents, villainous best friend — it really didn’t bode well for your loved ones. You just reassured yourself with the fact that you’d be able to disappear as soon as the two of you returned to the city. You couldn’t put her in any danger, that way, or her remaining kids.

“I’ll—I’ll see you after, okay?” You respond, squeezing her hand in return before quickly letting go and throwing open the car door, getting out and catching a slither of Mrs. Stacy’s surprised reply before you shut the car door.

There are guards waiting for you at the gates, checking you are who you say you are, scanning you for weapons before you even get in the building. They’re satisfied after their searches, content that you weren’t stupid enough to bring a weapon into a highly secure prison. You keep your focus on your breathing as they walk you in, handing you clothes to change into as well as a box to put all of your belongings in.

The scrub-like clothes they give you are even worse than your own, sending shivers up and down your spine at the feeling of each fibre scraping against your skin. You just try to breathe through it. Luckily, the rest of the security checks blur by, which means less time spent on agonising over this visit. You barely hear a word of the statement they read to you before you go in, and your hand cramps as you write your signature against a dotted line of a waiver. All of the other legal things were sorted out by Mrs. Stacy’s lawyer, which you are more than thankful for.

Instead of having to deal with that, you just have to wait.

You think that the waiting might be the worst part of it all. With the scrubs making your hairs raise and promoting uncomfortable shivers up and down your body, as well as the cold metal seat that they sat you on, you’re far too aware of everything around you. You can hear the hundreds of heartbeats in the buildings, the beeping of security doors, the footsteps heading your way. You can smell the coffee that the head guard in the adjoining room to the one you’re in is drinking, as well as the day-old sandwich in his desk. Worst of all is the way your own heartbeat is thrumming in your throat, padding harshly against your chest, so loud in your own ears that it slowly starts to drown out everything around you.

Gwen’s footsteps are heavy, accompanied by the clinking of the chains she’s shackled in. You can practically hear the maniacal laughter that had come from her whilst in that alternate dimension, even though she’s completely silent as she enters the room.

She smiles at you when you look up, and for a moment you’re fooled — it’s soft, gentle, kind. But then you see the glimmer in her eyes that was distinctly not Gwen, and you feel the scar along your side throbbing with phantom pain.

You smile tensely at the guards, who regard you with looks of gentle concern and caution, before they attach her chains to a link on the floor beside a chair three metres away from where you sit. They nod at you, which you return, and you watch as they go and take their positions beside the door before you move your eyes back to the elephant in the room — which is Gwen Stacy.

“So, you missed me?” She asks, baring her teeth in a grin that has too much teeth to be anything friendly. Gwen regards you closely as you stare at her, watch for any signs of flickering, any signs that this isn’t real. Her brows raise slowly, the longer you’re silent, but you’re in no hurry to talk. “No? Is that not it?”

“Sure, I miss you.” You respond after another stretch of silence, tilting your head to study her more closely. You don’t acknowledge the way that your voice shakes as you speak, the way it comes out in something closer to a croak before you swallow harshly against your dry throat. “Thought I’d come to check in.” You add, brows furrowing to make sure she gets your true meaning.

“Ah,” She voices, then laughs, shoulders shaking, chains clanking loudly against her metal chair. “I get it, now.”

Gwen doesn’t add anything else after that, even though you suspected that she may take this opportunity to loudly claim that you were Arachnid, outing your identity once and for all. Apparently, if she does want to out your identity, she doesn’t want to do it like this, as she stays silent until you speak.

You sit forward on your chair, ignoring the way the guards at the edges of the room shift uneasily at your movement. “Your mom arranged this for me, you know?” You say, eyebrow raised. She probably knows what you’re doing, or what you’re trying to do, but she doesn’t voice it. Instead, she just shifts to lean backwards in her own chair, sighing as if relaxing.

“Hmm, so she can visit.” Gwen says, nodding her head as if it’s all making sense now.

“She can, she just doesn’t want to. Neither does Georgie.” You respond, and find satisfaction in the way her eyes flash at the mention of her little brother, the nickname that the two of you both used to call him. She recovers quickly, but you can tell that she knows it wasn’t quick enough. The Green Goblin cracked, right in front of your very eyes. It’s proof that, if anything, her little brother has some meaning. “He wanted me to tell you something.”

Her head tilts across from you, though she doesn’t move from her laid back position.

You clear your throat, and look at the words you’d written on your skin. She tilts her head forwards the slightest amount, and you shift uncomfortably in your seat, glancing at the guards who look just as uncomfortable as you feel. “He said that he misses his Gwenny, but he doesn’t want you coming home.” You stare at her as you repeat his message, the one he had told you nervously, as if he was truly afraid that Gwen would escape and come back. Her eyes twitch as she focuses on keeping her expression cool, but you know that the words have hit something in her, even if it’s part of the Green Goblin. “Looks like you even ruined your own family.”

You’re up on your feet as she lurches forwards, flung backward from where she tried to go against her chains to rush toward you. The guards are in front of you in mere moments, but you weren’t in any danger. Not as long as she stayed in here.

It’s almost satisfying, to see her chained up. It’s so different to seeing the Green Goblin on the outside, where she could be your Gwen Stacy. Whereas in here, bound by chains of heavy metal, clothed in uncomfortable looking prisoner scrubs, she was nothing but the Green Goblin. It was reassuring, almost, to be able to pick apart something physical between the two.

She bares her teeth at you, animalistic in a way that Gwen never was, and glares at you as you follow one of the guards out of the room, the others closing in on her, ready to take her back to whatever cell she came from.

The clothes you wear become less overbearing as you keep your focus on the guards taking Gwen away the whole way back through security, only switching back to your surroundings when they hand you the tray of your own belongings to change back into. You’re relieved for many reasons, and you try to focus on that feeling as you approach Mrs. Stacy’s car rather than the way your jacket itches.

Mrs. Stacy looks as if she wants to speak as you get in the car, as if she wants to ask about your visit, but she seemingly can’t bring herself to do it. You keep your mouth shut.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Not a month later, your daily activities are back to normal, uninhibited by the daunting idea of Gwen being free. Still, though, you think about her more often, as much as you did in the time after she was put away the first time.

Mrs. Stacy had tried to call you more than once since, and at the two week mark you’d had to invest in a new burner phone. You just couldn’t risk anybody getting a hold of it and seeing her contact, or the ringer going off and exposing your position in a fight. No, it was better for her not to have your number. Besides, you had hers memorised if you needed to call her.

It was better if you tried to reduce any connections to Gwen Stacy. You’d be much better off, the less you thought about her.

Despite knowing that, you couldn’t help it. And despite seeing that crack in the Green Goblin exterior at her little brother’s words, you didn’t have much hope for her. You don’t think they’d let her out of prison even if you could find a cure, somehow. The fact of it was that Gwen Stacy’s life was over. She had no hope of a future in this world, the Goblin had destroyed that. All you could do was remember her and hope beyond anything that in one of those alternate dimensions, you and Gwen were happy together.

The thought of it played on your mind every day, a lingering pain that stung at your eyes. You thought about it so much that you had even imagined the world where Gwen had never become the Goblin, where you and your Gwen were happy. It was a suffocating image, one without any hope of being true, but you couldn’t help thinking about it.

Even as you fought villain after villain, petty criminal after petty criminal, you thought about it. Even now, as you were swinging around a bridge, dodging all the debris this villain was throwing your way, it played on your mind.

It was a distraction, and it was one you needed to get rid of.

That much became certain as the villain you were facing, Tombstone, managed to get a hit on you, sending you flying across the bridge. You landed on a car with a groan, the windshield cracking below you, and you rolled your eyes as the person in the car held a hand on their horn until you managed to climb off, a distinct Arachnid-shaped dent left in the bonnet.

Well, that would be aching tomorrow, that much was for sure.

He grinned where he was stood across the bridge from you, showing off his filed teeth, as if trying to intimidate you with the pointy edges of them.

“You’ve been a formidable foe, Arachnid,” Tombstone says, his voice barely a whisper above the wind, but you can hear him perfectly. You suspect he knows as much, and that only makes you nervous. “But I think it’s time for our battle to come to an end.”

“I actually agree.” You respond, stretching your aching back and feeling a bone shift when it definitely shouldn’t. You can’t help but wince, gritting your teeth and glaring over at Tombstone across the bridge.

You’re getting tired of these villains, of their constant spiel about how the world should be, about how everything should be how they wanted it to be. What was so wrong with the human population that everybody couldn’t just get along? Surely, if everybody got along, listened to each other, the world’s problems would be solved. But then again, this is New York, and it’s a city in which greed is bred.

A light press against your webshooter has you slinging high up on the bridge, staring down at Tombstone as he watches you intently. You’re planning your next move, considering all the variables, when a burst of orange manifests into the air behind him. He looks confused as you falter in your web slinging, dropping slightly before you catch yourself, and he turns around just in time to receive a curled fist to the face, courtesy of a familiar man in a red and blue suit.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” You murmur, lowering yourself to the bridge to approach this Spiderman, glaring at where Tombstone stands, straining against a red barrier that had materialised from the device Spiderman had placed at his feet.

“I hate that guy!” The familiar voice of Peter B. Parker says, shaking his fist as he hops slightly from one foot to the other, his lenses squinted before he finally turns to acknowledge you. “That guy sucks.”

Your brows are furrowed, eyes squinted behind your lenses as you stare at Peter, confused. This Tombstone guy isn’t an anomaly, is he? While you hadn’t faced him before, you knew that there had been a battle between him and another vigilante down in Hell’s Kitchen. And he knew your name, hadn’t been calling you Spiderman like the last anomaly. So why was he here?

Peter sighed, as if he was disappointed to be met with your confusion. “You got a place, kid? Or a burger joint, maybe?”

With that same amount of confusion, you nodded, brows furrowed as cops came to collect Tombstone, who was still in a fit of rage. You can just barely hear him swearing to get you back, both of you, through the barrier. Peter gestured a hand forwards for you to lead the way, and with slight hesitation, you swung off with him following.

Now, the two of you are sat in a Shake Shack, despite you wanting to head back to the offices you were set up in. Peter had ordered two burgers, one for you and one for him, though you had decidedly rejected the one he pushed towards you. He had only shrugged, and accepted it onto his own plate.

“My wife’s pregnant, can’t even stand the smell of these.” Peter groans, stuffing what must’ve been at least a quarter of the burger in his mouth. You just nod at his statement, though you had to admit you were slightly surprised that this guy was going to be a dad. But then again, you’re pretty sure you can remember your dad scoffing down his favourite food in a similar way. “Now listen,” He continues, speaking with his mouthful and paying you no mind as you cringe at the sound. “Miguel wants to strike a sort of… deal with you.”

“Okay?” You respond, brows furrowed. You look around the place, uncomfortable with all the people staring at Arachnid in a booth beside an old man stuffing his face. The lenses of your mask squint with you as you look at Peter, waiting for him to add anything on to explain his statement. “Then why’d he send you?” You ask, at last, when Peter makes no move to speak of his own free will, too engrossed in his second burger.

Peter held up a finger, gulping down a sip of his strawberry milkshake. “Said something about this being good practice for me,” Peter eventually answers, flashing you a smile. “You know, being a new dad and all.”

He seems to realise quickly that that was the wrong thing to say as your eyes narrow further, visible only through the shift of your lenses. The last thing you need is some random guy trying to father you. Even just the idea of it irritates you, makes the very blood rushing in your veins feel hot with anger. You had a dad, and look what good that did you. He’s gone.

Not to mention the implication of you being a child! You’re far from being a kid. You’ve been looking after yourself for some time now just fine. Whatever deal Miguel wants to strike with you is because they need you. Not the other way around. You knew that you shouldn’t have let that Spider-doctor fix you up.

“I’m not some kid. I don’t need you lot, you need me. Don’t get it all twisted, Peter.” You respond as he continues to look like a deer in headlights, clearly kicking himself for revealing what Miguel had said. You keep your voice low, fighting to stay unheard with the quietened air in the diner. “Now hurry up and tell me about whatever bullshit deal you want to strike with me, so I can say no and we can go our separate ways.”

“Kid,” Peter sighs, before immediately wincing as he realised he just directly disregarded your statement about not being a kid. “Sorry, Arachnid,” He corrects, settling his hands on the table in front of him, finally taking a break from his almost-finished food. “Nobody’s saying you can’t do this.”

“Sounds like that’s exactly what you’re saying.” You mutter, averting your eyes from Peter and instead narrowing your lenses at the people still staring in your direction.

“All we’re saying is that you shouldn’t have to do this alone,” He continues, ignoring your interruption with nothing but a quirked brow. “It’s a tough job. Everybody needs someone to look out for them, you know? It’s in our nature to feel responsible for everything around us, as Spider-people. But you can’t carry the whole weight of the world on your shoulders, it’s too much!”

You stare blankly at him, remaining unimpressed with his whole speech.

Peter sighs once more, looking at you with hesitant hope that you’ll come around. Unfortunately, you’re not about to let these people think that you’re incapable. If anything, Peter’s little speech was just adding fuel to your fire. You liked proving people wrong — it’s what you thrived on. You needed to prove them wrong. Because if you didn’t, what did that make you? You couldn’t let people be right about their assumptions of you. If you couldn’t prove everybody wrong, then that meant some of the things people said about you were right. And with the amount of people who accused you of being responsible for more deaths than you saved, who portrayed you as a menace rather than a vigilante, who said you weren’t worthy of your powers, who said whatever divine intervention had given them to you was wrong, you couldn’t let them be right. You wouldn’t.

“I already told you people. I’m not interested.” You spit out at him, feeling your frustration brimming over the edge. Why would nobody just trust you? Was that so much to ask? You understand that you had made mistakes, that you had cost people their lives, but you were trying. Why couldn’t that just be enough?

Peter says nothing as you slide out of the booth, stomping your way out of the Shake Shack as if you were some kind of grumpy teenager. He could only hope that his unborn child was a less grumpy teen, but then again, he was pretty sure you had every right to be miserable. Correcting himself, he could only hope that his unborn child never experienced your reasons for being so miserable.

You make your way towards your office building, swinging through the streets whilst doing your best to keep your heightened hearing down. You really didn’t want to have to deal with anything else, tonight. All you wanted was to get back, to put on the only clothes other than your suit that didn’t make you want to crawl out of your skin. Even if it was just for an hour, you’d take it.

While you had gotten used to how quiet it was in the building a long time ago, you couldn’t help but think that tonight, it felt almost… eerie. There was something tingling, buzzing at the very base of your skull, but even as you strained your hearing, your sight, everything, you couldn’t detect anything out of place. Everything seemed normal, so you couldn’t understand why you were so on edge! It couldn’t just be Peter’s presence, surely, because he posed no threat to you. So what was going on?

Picking up your backpack filled with belongings, you stared around at the empty office, the breeze that flowed through the open window sending a shiver down your spine, even though you weren’t feeling cold. Something wasn’t right. You just couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Hello? Anybody there?” You call out, straining your hearing once more, trying to listen out for even the slightest sound. A movement, a breath, anything, even as you couldn’t help but think that this was the most cliché horror movie like moment that you had experienced to date. Still, you heard nothing, but that nagging feeling didn’t dissipate, and you quickly lost all desire to change out of your suit.

The unease you felt only grew stronger as you stood there, unsure what to make of the feeling. It was quickly growing towards being overwhelming, but you didn’t know what to do.

Luckily for you, you didn’t have to make a decision.

Unfortunately, the decision was made by one of the very people you were trying to prove yourself to.

Peter B. Parker — or at least, you were pretty sure it was him — swung through the very same window you had, only to grasp a hold on your arm and pull you out of the window as he jumped straight back out of it.

Now, you had been Arachnid for a long time now. You had gotten used to the swinging, to the way your stomach dipped and your throat tightened, but you had never experienced it where you weren’t the one in control. Finally, you understand why people you brought to safety had, on occasion, thrown up immediately after you set them down on their feet again. The feeling of falling, of having no choice but to trust somebody else to catch you, it was terrifying.

But what was infinitely more terrifying was the way that the very floor of the building you had just been stood on exploded.

The blaze was blinding, even with your lenses protecting your eyes, but the noise that came moments later was much, much worse. And sure, you had been around explosions before, but never one that big, never so close. And never so unprepared for one.

Your ears were ringing, and you vaguely realised that you had become dead weight in your shock, with Peter struggling to keep his grasp on your arm firm. After a moment, you had the sense to grab his forearm in return, trying to assist him in holding you up. He didn’t seem as effected by the explosion in comparison to you, and you wondered if he’d had the time to put earbuds in his ears as you had sometimes done before a fight. Either way, you were insanely envious as the pain in your ears increased, leaving you struggling to focus on holding on to Peter.

When he set you down, which couldn’t have been more than a minute after he had grabbed you, considering you could still see the office building smouldering, you had to hold a hand over your mouth even over your mask, trying to rid yourself of nausea. Smoke was leaking into the darkening sky, and you saw the flash of sirens below, but heard nothing other than the distinctive ringing that felt like it was melting your brain.

Peter’s hand was squeezing your shoulder, and after a moment in which you didn’t acknowledge him, he was gripping your other shoulder with his spare hand, shaking you the slightest bit. You looked up at him with a groan, squinting past the floating lights in your vision to see that his mouth was moving, no sound coming out. You shook your head, trying to get rid of that incessant ringing, but it didn’t work. You dropped your chin to your chest again, hands bracing against your ears as if they could ease your pain, and you didn’t make a move as Peter removed one hand from your shoulder.

Mere moments later, the same tingling you had felt before the building you were in exploded returned, stronger, more intensely. Your head snapped up, frantically looking around, paying Peter no mind as he spoke into the orange-glowing watch on his wrist. You breathed through your nose, trying not to cough at the smoke permeating the air, and you just managed to push Peter over the edge of the roof of the building, with you diving after him, as another explosive went off.

That explosion was smaller than the last one, and the only reason you had managed to avoid it was because you knew it was coming. You knew what the alarm bells in your head were trying to tell you now, and you spotted the projectile just seconds before it reached your feet.

Part of you was glad that your senses were dulled from the first explosion — your hearing, especially, as it meant you were less effected by the close-range on this one. You saw Peter’s eyes widen as he looked up above you at where the explosion had just occurred. You just about managed to web him before shooting a web towards the next building, feeling something in your shoulder pull sharply with his extra weight and the suddenness of the move.

You squinted down at him as he gripped the web attached to his chest with one hand, his lips moving more frantically as he spoke to a hologram projected by the watch on his other hand.

“Shit, what is going on?” You asked, though mostly to yourself, but the only way you could tell you had even voiced the words was by the way they rumbled out of your throat. That explosion had messed up your hearing, for the moment, anyway, and you quickly realised that with your slow healing and the ringing in your ears, this fight was going to be majorly difficult.

You only had a moment to think that, before something snapped the web that was holding you to the building, sending both you and Peter falling through the air. Embarrassingly, you’re pretty sure that you let out a yell of some sort.

All the air was knocked out of you the next second as something hurtled into you, sending you careening towards the windows of the closest building. Peter, for a moment, had a shocked expression on his face, before he seemingly realised what was going on, smiling and letting out a string of words that you didn’t hear. You groaned as your sore back collided with the window, smashing upon your impact, and you were sent sprawling over a desk, a monitor breaking underneath your sudden weight.

Yet again, there was a hand against your shoulder, and you paid it no mind as your head dropped back, thudding against the desk. You couldn’t help but groan, the duress that your back had been under today was certainly taking its toll, leaving your whole spine throbbing with pain. On top of that, you were struggling to catch your breath, and with the sudden adrenaline provided by the spider-sense fading, the intensity of the pain in your ears was increasing.

Finally, you managed to peel your eyes open to see a concerned Peter B. Parker looking at you, with Miguel O’Hara stood beside the shattered window, staring out menacingly, as if daring whoever it was to attack again. Peter said something else, squeezing your shoulder, and all you could do in response was hold up one thumb.

Miguel seemingly barked out an order over his shoulder, and a moment later, you were squinting against the bright orange light of a portal.

Peter was hauling you to your feet, leaning to hold one of your arms over his shoulder, practically carrying your weight towards the portal looming ahead. “No, no, wait,” You said, and you felt the way your words slurred as you became slightly delirious with a mixture of pain, adrenaline, and desperation. “Stop, I gotta—”

He only shook his head, before tipping the two of you forward until you both fell into the portal.

The dizzying feeling of inter-dimensional travel definitely didn’t help the pounding in your temples, nor the nausea you had previously been feeling, and you had no choice but to try and focus on Peter’s grip on you as you squeezed your eyes shut. When the world finally stopped spinning, or feeling like it was falling away around you, you opened your eyes just enough to take note of where you were — which was back in the Infirmary of the Spider Society HQ.

You shook Peter off, standing on your own weight and waving him away when he tried to assist you as you swayed once more. You glared, eyes narrowed, and turned to head straight back through the portal you had come from, only to see it close before your very eyes.

The same Spider-Doctor from the last time you were here snapped a band around your wrist, and you squinted down at the red and blue band. It made you feel lighter, even slightly, which felt good on your aching bones and muscles. You opened your mouth to speak as the Spider-Doctor led you to sit down on an empty bed with white sheets, but you vaguely saw the way his mask shifted as he presumably spoke. You couldn’t tell what he was saying with his mask on, but a minute later, you felt a sharp prick against the inside of your elbow.

You just about had the lucidity to murmur “You fucker—” before you succumbed to the weight of your eyelids.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

When you woke up, it was to a throbbing pain in your forehead, that only got worse when you tried to open your eyes. At the very least, you were glad to have your hearing returned to you, albeit slightly muffled, which you were only aware of because the sound of voices across the room was the reason for you waking.

“I’m just saying, maybe knocking the kid out wasn’t the greatest idea!” Peter B. Parker’s annoyingly loud voice says, slightly high pitched in the end. Who he was saying it to, however, you couldn’t say, not without opening your eyes. And that didn’t feel like a good idea, the lights even with your eyes closed feeling like too much.

Instead, you just groan, bringing your hand up to rest over both of your eyes. “It wasn’t a great idea.” You say through gritted teeth, more than annoyed over the situation you found yourself in. Honestly, what did these people have against leaving you be? Why did they think they had any right to tell you what to do, or how to handle things, or to overrule you when it came to your own treatment?

“Hey, kid!” Peter responds, drawing the letters out in that typical oh shit voice. From the snippet of the conversation you had caught, at least he was seemingly trying to advocate for your consciousness. However, that didn’t change the fact that he was there when that Spider-Doctor knocked you out. No, you were still pissed. And when you got your hands on that doctor? He was in for it.

Any other thoughts or feelings on the matter were overturned when you realised that your hand was resting over your eyes, not the lenses of your mask.

Who do these people think they are?

You open your mouth to jump into a rant on that exact subject, on the audacity that they all have, but find yourself silenced by somebody grabbing onto your free wrist, and seemingly dropping your mask into your hand. You feel it until you’ve got it the right way around, and then pull it over your face.

The lights are much more bearable with your lenses back over your eyes, but it’s still painful, and still worsens that pounding in your head. But it does mean that you can see who’s around you; Peter, Miguel and the Spider-Doctor. You have half the mind to leap at that doctor, but Miguel is raising placating hands in your direction before you can make the move to do so.

“Let’s all calm down.” Miguel says, placing his hands on his hips when your eyes only narrow at him.

“What is wrong with you? Who gave you people the right to—to take off my mask? To knock me out? Hell, to come to my universe and get in my business!” You practically yell out, swinging your legs over the side of the bed, ignoring the way your back hurts with the movement and glaring when the three of them step forward to help you.

“If Peter hadn’t gotten there when he did, you would’ve died.” Miguel responds plainly, seemingly aggravated by your irritation. One of his arms is raised in a gesture towards the man, who smiles almost guiltily, as if helping you was a crime. Which, in your mindset, it might as well have been. “There was an anomaly, a villain from another dimension targeting you.”

“I can handle myself.” You spit out, though the way the room spins when you stand is almost a direct contrast to your words. Your blood is rushing through your veins, and you realise that there’s a machine beeping next to you, increasing in frequency. As you look, you realise it’s measuring your heart rate, and you yank wires off of you that you hadn’t even noticed before, as if they were exposing you somehow. “And that doesn’t give you the right to take off my mask. Who does that?”

Spider-Doctor raises his hands, as if surrendering, though seems unintimidated by the way your glare switches to him. “It was necessary. Your hearing was severely damaged by the explosion, you needed treatment. You have dampening-buds in your ears now, while your healing catches up.” While that sounds reasonable, it only makes you angrier. Why did these people even care if some anomaly killed you? If your hearing was damaged? Why did they insist on bothering you?

Miguel sighs, pinching his nose, before he lifts his head up to speak to you again. You just about stop yourself from making a snotty comment about his attitude. You didn't even want to be here, and here he was, acting like dealing with you was such an inconvenience to him. It was frustrating. “Your universe seems to be at some sort of epicentre of anomalies, and we don’t know why. Yet.”

“We’re just trying to keep you safe. You can’t deal with all of those anomalies alone, nobody can. Sometimes, you need a team.” Peter says softly, like he could convince you of the matter. “Believe me, you don’t want to learn that the hard way.” He adds on, smiling almost hesitantly, as if there’s a memory he’s thinking of connected to his own words.

You’re sighing through your nose, your teeth gritting together as you regard them. “Okay, fine, you want to come take out your anomalies, or whatever? You do that. But anything more than that isn’t welcome.” You say, at last, your eyes narrowed towards them as you wait for their responses.

You still don’t really understand it, any of it, but it’s becoming clear that you have no choice but to deal with these people. Apparently, they were not budging on all of this stuff, which — fine, so long as they stay out of your way. The last thing you need is a bunch of Spider-people stepping on your toes, or making you seem incapable in front of the citizens of your own dimension when in the end, they’ll all up and leave.

After all, you can remember your mother telling you how important it is to do things yourself. The moment you start accepting help, you relax, and when they decide they don’t want to help you anymore? You’re screwed, your sense of independence reduced to ashes. And as Arachnid, there’s far too much at stake to risk that happening.

“Here,” Miguel says, only nodding his agreement — or at least, that’s what you assume the nod was for. He throws a watch towards you, and you catch it with some confusion. “In case you see any anomalies before we do.” He explains as he watches you fiddle witht he watch in both hands, glaring down at it as if it was offensive. He’s relatively satisfied when you relax at that explanation. While Miguel doesn’t voice what else it’s for, knowing you’d only get irritated and refuse the watch, he’s silently hoping that you’ll understand. It’s so you can come to them, if you need them. They can only hope that they’ll be able to tell you that, one day, before it’s too late, without the offer scaring you off.

“So, I’m good to go?” You ask, looking between the three Spider-Men still staring at you and the watch you hesitantly clasp around your wrist. They nod, or, Peter and Miguel do, while the Spider-Doctor throws his hands in the air, exasperated.

“That dimension is yours,” Peter says, leaning over to see the screen of your watch. “The button at the bottom will input this dimension as the destination. Just press that,” He points to another button, “To open the portal to whichever dimension has been typed in.”

You nod, still pissed that he’d let the Spider-Doctor knock you out, but at least you didn’t give him a snarky comment. Instead, you just pressed the button to go back to your own dimension, and stepped through the portal the moment it was big enough for you to go through.

You didn’t expect for him to follow you through.

“Hey, listen,” Peter says, almost reluctantly, as if he doesn’t want to upset you. When you turn to him, he raises his hands, as if to further prove that sentiment. “I am sorry that he knocked you out, I didn’t know he was going to do that.”

“Okay, fine, apology accepted.” You say, flatly, turning to survey where exactly you are. It doesn’t take you long to notice the remains of the building you had been camping out in, the building charred and the air still thick with all the smoke that had been produced.

“I wasn’t done,” Peter sighs, pinching at the bridge of his nose momentarily. “I also wanted to say that I’m sorry about your building. And I wanted to ask, well, mention about how when Doctor-Peter took off your mask, he noticed you don’t have anything protecting your ears, like other Spiders with your level of enhanced hearing do.”

You turn to stare blankly at him, while mulling through where exactly you’re going to stay in your head. If you’re being honest, you’re not paying his words much mind. So what, you don’t have anything protecting your hearing? Sure, sometimes you had stuffed earbuds into your ears when you knew you were going into a rough fight, but you didn’t know when some psycho exploded your building right in front of you. Plus, it’s not like you have unlimited resources to figure out some way of protected your ears under your mask while also letting you effectively use your hearing.

“Okay? And?” You ask, voice edging on the side of boredom. In all honesty, you just want to be left alone. You want to put on your comfy clothes, curl up into a ball and go to sleep so you can dream of a world where everything is okay. The likelihood of that happening is small, but not impossible, right?

“Well,” Peter hesitates then, which piques your interest the slightest bit. “Here, I had these made back when my hearing was crazy sensitive, but it’s not anymore, so I got no use for them!” He says, holding out two blue and red earbuds in a clear case. “You gotta wait until your ears are healed up to use ‘em, but I figured they’d do you more good than me.”

For a moment, you’re ready to deny him. To glare and insist that you don’t need his help. But then, he had said that they were originally for him, and he didn’t need them any longer, so really, would it be so bad to take them? To accept this one thing? To allow yourself to be saved of this tiniest bit of pain?

“You’re sure?” You ask, likely the least aggressive you’d spoken to him, though that’s not to say that it was asked softly. You were still firm on not accepting their help, on doing your own thing, but you could accept this much, surely? It couldn’t hurt.

Peter smiles, a short laugh leaving him, and he waves the box towards you. “I’m sure!”

“…Thanks.” You say, shortly, as you accept the earbuds offered to you. He also hands you the backpack that you had lost track of after the attack, and you accept that far more quickly. You’re glad that it feels the exact same weight as it did the last time you held it, before you shove the earbuds into the opening and zip it back up.

There’s a portal still open on the rooftop the two of you stand on, and Peter backs up to go towards it almost reluctantly. “Also, if you need somewhere to stay—”

“Don’t push it,” You respond, quickly, cutting him off before he could finish what he was saying. He doesn’t take offence to your abruptness, and smiles with a nod, before he disappears into the portal. You stare out at the city around you, looking in the direction of another building you had been very reluctant to return to. “What is my life?” You ask yourself, rhetorically, because you don’t know how you’d even answer that.

You glance behind you to ensure the portal is closed, before jumping off the rooftop, freefalling, relishing in the way the cold wind soothes the pain in your back. Before long, though, you have to shoot a web to catch yourself. You head towards the only place you know will be suitable for you, but can’t shake the way the thought of it chills you.

All you can do is hope that this multiverse stuff will be over with, and soon.

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cupidlovesastro · 9 months

Text

𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒊𝒅 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎

this is very different from my regular post, but i thought i’d do a post about this because i have a good understanding of this topic and i like doing it😭

the only things that your really going to need to do this is dreaming often and willpower. you don’t need to be super experienced at ANYTHING or do all these “methods” that people tell you to follow. just utilize the power of your brain !

for context, i started doing this around 13-14. i never had a bad experience with it and i very very rarely have nightmares. maybe 3 once a year, and i dream every single night. also, this is about how i did it and accomplished it !

1. gain consciousness in your dream

instead of mindlessly dreaming like you may do at times, try to gain consciousness in your dream. by that i mean, look at your dream and really pay attention to what’s going on. what do you see, hear, taste, feel? where are you? who are you with? start to pay attention to your dreams because then, you will teach yourself how to understand and actually remember your dreams when you wake up instead of waking up and having no clue what you dreamed of. do this for about a week or so before proceeding to the next step

my experience

when i do this, usually i realize im in a dream because im somewhere ive never been before, or im with people i never see, or something is somewhere it isn’t supposed to be. so when i realize im dreaming, i often tell myself “oh im in a dream”

2. explore a little

so now that you’ve realized your dream, walk around, start thinking of what you may want to say to someone in your dream, music you want to hear, food you want to, etc

my experience

this part is one of the fun parts. you can now start to control yourself and what you do in that realm. so i’ve talked to people i know in real life in my dreams, even people i don’t know. i’ve walked around places i’ve never been as well

3. start controlling things that are already in your dream

so before we get to the part where we control our entire dream, let’s start controlling things our brain has already created. so if you see a person try to control that person to talk to you, if you see a cat try to get that cat to come to you, change the color of the room your in, etc. this will help with your control over your subconscious mind, and is a little more difficult than step 2 because instead of controlling yourself, your controlling the outside world now

my experience

this for me is a little difficult for the main reason being that you have to put a lot of focus and control in it. with step 2 it’s pretty easy to do because you already are aware of yourself in your dream, you just have to control yourself. but with this part you have to control other things, which i’ve done. get someone to talk to me, or changed rooms i was in.

4. create things and / or make things disappear

now we want to sort of form our reality. so you want to start thinking of what you want to see, touch, experience, etc. if you want to see a celebrity, then do it, or if your into manifesting, view your manifestation(s). as for the disappearing part, let’s say you see something that you dislike, try to make it disappear.

my experience

i’ve done this a lotttt but usually it’s unintentional. like i’ll thinking about how i want to see someone, and they’ll appear in my dream. but in the very few nightmares ive had, ive also had to make this disappear 😭

5. create your reality

similar to what i mentioned earlier about what you want in your reality, now you want to completely create that reality. if you want to be at the beach with your friend then create that, or if you want to see your crush/ lover then create them !

my experience

this is the funnest part ofc, and i don’t usually need to create entire realities, but i have created people and things i’ve wanted to see, hear, touch, taste, etc

#astrology #astro community #astro posts #spirituality #dream #dreamcore #lucid dreaming #tarot #crystals #pac tarot #astrology tumblr #astrology stuff

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eternal-kosmo-ghoul · 10 months

Note

ur iv fic was so good 🥺 could you do some comfort with vess? idk reader had a really bad day n he basically spoils them n gives them love? <3

❝alexithymia❞

➵ “sometimes, even the darkest of spirits can prove to be the most welcoming in dire times” —❤︎

pairing: vessel x gn!reader

theme: fluff ✿ , slight angst ❦

a/n: this is just pure, tooth-rotting fluff w vessel. it’s a complete contrast to my first smut fic w him lmao. also i hope you’re doing well anon!

cw: reader is bad at expressing emotions. overprotective vessel. lots of comfort and fluff

┅✦┅

sometimes there was comfort in the dark.

only sometimes. tonight was one of those few exceptions.

prior to that, you were curled up underneath the bed, cobwebs and dust scattered everywhere, but none of that mattered. there was only a handful of soft and plus items that you could cling to, at least to try and soothe your pain.

what a mess you were. curled up in fetal position like a weak kitten, only having your own arms to comfort yourself and try to create some sort of warmth.

but there was barely anything warm in the abysmal coldness that swelled in your heart.

as you silently sobbed to yourself, an alluring darkness peeked underneath the bed, observing you with the utmost curiosity.

“bad day?”

you looked up from where you were curled up to observe where the voice came from. a commanding, yet enchanting presence was observing you with a curious, yet slightly concerned look. you couldn’t see his face, but his aura emitted his emotions strongly enough for you to say.

“mmh.” you hummed back quietly, voice slightly crisp from your silent crying.

the dark one frowned underneath his mask. vessel has been a being that had popped up every now and then in your bedroom, the sleep entity who was known to visit people at the strike of midnight and consume their everlasting dreams. he was one to be feared, but you’ve grown used to his presence.

for some reason, he kept on visiting you frequently, and you grew less scared of him, more so tolerating his presence. however, you’ve never seen him be.. tender, or at least show one basic empathetic emotions.

vessel just sighed and stood up, looking away from underneath the bed. you thought he was going to finally leave you alone.

that was until you felt a surge of darkness from underneath the bed scoop you up from under the bed and into your mattress, making you squeak from surprise. you sat up to look at the dark, almost alluring being looming over you.

“y/n.” vessel stated firmly. “tell me, what’s going on?”

you didn’t know what to say. i mean— this incredibly powerful, almost otherworldly being, was asking how you were doing? you felt like you were in a novel.

it was kind of sweet knowing vessel had the heart to ask about your mental state.

but at the same time, you didn’t want to open up, at least not yet. you were too caught up in your storm of emotions.

sighing and turning your head, you faced the wall against your bed, and you could hear vessel’s disappointment in his sigh. but nonetheless, he understood.

“i see.” he started out.

vessel thought to himself for a moment. how could he comfort this mere mortal? and more importantly, why was he doing this? no human has ever drawn his attention like this. no, he was too good for that. anyone who dares to even be within his vicinity should bask in his presence.

whatever it was, vessel was going to have to worry about that later. the sleep entity just groaned and disappeared for a moment, before coming back with a pile of stuffed animals.

“here.” he spoke. “take these. if you’re not gonna talk, at least take my help.”

you looked up at him confused, almost mind-blown. was this real? if you weren’t so deeply rooted in your own mind, you would’ve asked vessel what the hell he was going.

noticing your hesitance, vessel sighed. he wasn’t too good at this human, comforting stuff. but he was going to try.

“well?” he asked again, his tone slightly more firm.

noticing his urgency, you just nodded before taking the stuffed animals in his arms. as you looked through the pile, you realized that all of these plushies were of your favorite animals and brands. there’s no way this could’ve been a coincidence. vessel must’ve been paying attention to your interests during the times he stalks you in your sleep.

noticing how your eyes gleamed a bit, a slight chuckle escaped his lips. “yeah, i knew you’d like these ones. i know you’re not much of a talker, but i know what you like.”

he didn’t know what force of satan compelled him to do this, but vessel shimmied around to sit himself behind you, and hug you from behind, drawing you to his cold, firm chest. your eyes widened from the contact, but you didn’t protest.

“just relax, y/n.” vessel spoke in a more soft tone. “whatever it is, i’ll do my best to comfort you. even if i don’t understand any of this human shit.”

you couldn’t help but chuckle at his words. that certainly made you feel a little bit better. smiling softly, vessel sighed and rested his chin on the top of your head, drawing you closer to his body.

his body was cold, and his hands were calloused and dark. but there was a strange comfort in his hold. subconsciously, you intertwined your fingers with his. vessel didn’t protest, he could feel your body start to relax and your emotions start to calm down.

a strange surge of protectiveness overtook vessel’s body. he’s never seen a human this distressed, and this desperate for comfort. you looked so little compared to him, and you just curled up in his form. vessel, the dark entity of sleep, was comforting a mere human.

he didn’t want to see you like this anymore. even if it went against his values, he was going to keep you safe and protected. vessel didn’t want to see you hurt like this again.

maybe it was the tike you both spent together that softened his empty heart.

he liked it.

and for the first time in a while, he felt warmth in his chest.

#sleep token fanfic #sleep token #vessel sleep token #sleep token vessel #vessel x reader #vessel x you #vessel x y/n #comfort fic #fluff fic #sleep token fluff #st fanfic #kosmos ficlets

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gothicflowers · 6 months

Text

Alex Keller X GN!Reader

Field of Flowers

Warnings: Fluff.

“We’ve been inseparable for almost eight years. For some reason I just assumed I’d always have you around. I don’t wanna face that reality but I have to now. Saying goodbye completely ends the story.”

“New chapters mean you get to keep on writing the story. Why would it make you scared?”

“I’m terrified honestly. I want a life outside of all this, to be able to lay in a field of flowers and rest.” Motioning to your ballistics vest and the gun on his hip. “But ive been doing this for so long it’s almost like I have to completely hit reset on my life. I can’t tell anybody about any of this. About what I’ve done, the places I’ve seen. Hell, I can’t even tell them about you. It all dies with me.”

Over all these years with Alex you never told him your feelings. Too afraid to lose the only person who’s stuck by your side. Every mission, every wound, every sunrise and sunset he was with you. Learning to live without him was going to be hard. It was going to be even harder trying to start the life you envisioned without him.

Alex leaned against the hummer next to you trying to find the words to say. He hated that you were leaving. But he couldn’t ask you to stay with him. Not when he just abandoned the CIA for farahs army. But he loves you too much to tell you his feelings. He wants you to be happy, not to go to bed wondering if he’s ok or when he’ll return to you.

“I hope you find peace and get everything you want out of this lifetime. You deserve it.” His words felt heavy leaving his chest. “How about instead of goodbye, I’ll see you around.”

Tears welled up in your eyes. Biting your lip to try and stop a choked sob from leaving your lips. Nodding and looking at the sunset. “I’ll see you around Alex.” You look up at him, just as pretty as the day you first met. Only couple more scars and some lines around his eyes changed him. His eyes still sparkled when they looked into yours. A single tear falls down from your eyes taking in the sight of the man you’ll never see again.

His hand comes to rest on the nape of your neck as the other wipes away the single tear. Pressing a kiss to your forehead he takes in this final moment. His forehead rests against yours knowing he has to let go now or he won’t let you go. “I’ll see you around.”

And he’s gone. Gone from your life. You’re left watching the sun disappear over the mountains wondering why it is to be like this.

It’s been a little over three years since that day. You opened up that company you always told Alex about. Got a car and even purchased a home. Everything on paper looked like you had become quite successful. Your family was excited to have you home. But with all good things considered it didn’t feel how you thought it would.

The house was quiet. Making friends in your late twenties proved to be difficult. And every date you went on couldn’t compare to the man you left in a war zone. You thought about him often. Was he doing well? Was he making sure to eat enough? Was there someone that could cut his hair as well as you could? And the scariest thought, was he still alive?

Your dreams were fleeting with memories of your time together and the battles fought. Often times waking you in the night too scared to fall back asleep. Even though you were happy to be away from it all you still thought about it, if you hadn’t left. Stayed and told him that you loved him. Or should you have just told him before you left. At least then you’d have had an answer of some sort. Never to be left wondering like you still do. The waves of regret consumed you from time to time.

Today was a slow day, as most Mondays are for your company so it was just you today. You sat behind your computer finishing up this months paperwork. The front door bell chimed upon someone entering. Since it was just you, you headed to the front to greet the customer.

“Hello, how can I-“ you stopped dead in your tracks in disbelief when your eyes noticed the man standing there. Soft eyes, strong arms, and a smile like no other.

“Hi” he could barely make out that single word. Just seeing you took the breath out of his lungs. “I said I’ll see you later, not goodbye.” His mustache covered lips turned up into a smirk.

You run up to him wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug. His warm embrace welcoming you into his arms. His arms wrapped around you felt more like home than anything has the past three years.

“I can’t believe you’re here” your hands cup his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks “What are you doing here?”

“Laswell got my name cleared, thought about lying in a field of flowers like you said.” His arms still wrapped around you not wanting to let go. “And there was something I didn’t tell you before you left, I’m hoping I’m not too late.”

“What didn’t you tell me.” Your arms unraveled and your hands rest on his strong chest. You could feel his heart beating fast.

Taking a deep breath he looks deep into you. “That I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you.”

Your voice weakened with the joy of hearing his confession. “I wanted to tell you I loved you before I left but I was scared you didn’t love me back.”

Alex looked down at you with a look you had seen glimpses of but never fully. It was love, joy, excitement and more passion than anyone had ever looked at you with in your lifetime.

Without words you both embraced in a passionate kiss making up for all the lost years. His hands pulling your hips into him closer desperately wanting to keep you close. Your hands traveling from his chest to his neck. Clinging to each other fearing separation. After what felt like eternity your lips departed one another.

“So since the moment you met me?” How could you have not seen? Was that truly what all those intense moments of eye contact meant? The fighting over each other going into something far too dangerous. Love?

His bright goofy smile was uncontrollable “Yeah”

You couldn’t help but laugh recalling that exact moment in time. “Alex I had a gun to your head because Laswell didn’t tell me I was gonna have a partner that mission. I was seconds away from killing you”

“Can’t lie it was definitely intimidating, but oddly attractive.” He smirked knowing it was the honest truth.

You give his chest a light hit at his comment “Shut up and kiss me again.”

“Yes ma’am.”

#call of duty #alex keller #cod #cod alex keller #alex keller imagine #alex keller call of duty #alex keller x reader #alex keller x y/n #alex keller x you #cod x you #flowerwrites #call of duty x reader #call of duty x y/n #call of duty x you #john price #captain john price #simon ghost riley smut #soap mactavish

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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AITA for giving away my sisters fish?

This is a dumb and very long story (i could probably shorten it somehow but I don't know how) and I know the title makes me look bad.

Ok so, one evening my mom and my little sister(let's call her Jess) brought home a container of four fish that mum said she saw a guy selling on the road for about 2 dollars (I'm not american so I just calculated and it comes out to around 2 dollars)

This was during the end of year break when Jess was home (usually we all go to boarding school) None of us had ever had pet fish before and we didn't know what kind of fish they were, they looked different from each other and their size difference was pretty big too(the largest was about the size of three nail clippers stacked on top of each other and the smallest was about the size of 1/2 of a car key). So we weren't sure of the species of any and bought the most nondescript pack of fish food we could find, they ate it so we thought things were ok.

About 1 month into the break though (the end of year break where I am is 2 months), 1 of the fish died for reasons we still don't know (we changed the water every 3 days) and two weeks later a second one just disappeared, it wasn't in the bowl, and no one knew what happened. So by the time school started there were 2 fish left (Jess was sad but we also have dogs so she wasn't too sad)

All of us go to different boarding schools but ive been going to a day-school this past year because I'm scheduled for a surgery, so when everyone went back it was just me with the fish.

My elder sister (let's call her Kat) came home from university for a while and she thought the fish were cool so she asked my mom if she could tell her where she got them so she could get some for her dorm. My mom told her she just got them from some guy on the road who didn't have a stall and probably wouldn't be there if she drove to the place she found him. So she went back to uni without any fish

Flash forward, 4 weeks into the term, my mom comes to get me from school and she says was passing the area she saw the guy and he was there with another container of fish this time with about 10 fish also of various muddy and sandy colours, about length of the diameter of a soda-bottle cap (my mom said they also cost her about 2 dollars). I said we could split the fish in half, keep 6 and give Kat 6 for her dorm.

So I'm sitting in the car, holding the container of fish my laps and my mom suddenly stops the car because a person walking on the sidewalks falls into the trenches on the sides of the road. The person is ok but the car stops so suddenly and I'm not holding the container securely so it falls from my laps.

The container has a lid so the car is ok but the guy added some small rocks and a fake plant to the container so they kind of bury the some of fish and 6 of them die. I look on like an idiot while mom tries to settle the rocks but another fish is buried when the rocks are settled.

By the time we get home and transfer all the living fish into the bowl we already have, we have 5 fish in total. We move them to a new, slightly bigger bowl and feed them but by the next morning when I'm going to school i see 3 fish left.

When I get home, I tell my mom that maybe we aren't ready for fish and we should give them to Kat whose dorm may be less of a safety hazard (during the end of year break we used to play with the fish a lot, trying to touch their tails etc so we're definitely the reason the first batch died anyway. We're also 8 kids and there are kids older and younger than me so it would be hard to stop EVERYONE from being rough with the fish). I also had exams coming up and I was starting to put of changing the water and cleaning bowl until i saw algae growing on sides.

Kat has a roommate who thinks the fish are cool too so incase one of them forgets maintaining the fish the other can do it. (I also kind of secretly hoped the all fish would just die a week or two into being with them so it wouldn't bother them anymore I feel bad about it)

Anyway, 3 weeks later when Kat came home she took the fish with her. It's around the middle of the first term so it was Visitation Day at Jess's school yesterday (I think the name is self explanatory) and the first thing she asked about was the fish. I didn't know what to say so I told her the truth and she was so SAD!!(I mean obviously she'd be sad but visitation day is supposed to be a good day) because we named the fish and everything(the first batch, not the second) . I tried to tell her how Kat and her roommate were nice and would give the new fish good name but she said that was dumb I knew that was dumb and I wish had just lied about the whole thing and asked my mom to buy new fish but I feel like Jess would know so said nothing else

My mom kind of cheered her up by saying that during the holidays they could go get a good tank and actual goldfish from a better place but she was mad at me because I suggested that the fish be given to Kat and I feel like she's right because it would be stupid to ask Kat to bring the fish wish her the next time she came home.

All my other siblings not just Jess also got attached to the fish so I'll just be breaking the news to everyone for the next three weeks (because all schools where I am schedule visitation day in the same month) and just generally ruining the mood.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #pet death cw

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hiemaldesirae · 6 months

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AU where *Vox* is the one who disappears for 7 years, and ALL of Hell suffers for it. The remaining 2 Vees end up with their souls contracted to Alastor, Carmilla and Zestial have to become allies and join forces-most overlords do by the time Vox comes back there ARE no solo Overlords left, except technically Rosie and Alastor but even they are 'allies' in the loosest sense. Everyone else is paired up and it all because of the madness of Radio Demon at the disappearance of his muse. He's shacked up inside of The Vees Tower, taking over Vox's floor as his own, adding a radio tower to the side of it.

And then, 7 years after his disappearance, Vox reappears and joins Charlie Morningstar at her hotel for rehabilitation of sinners of all things, with Angel Dust as her first client, and--

The very foundations of Hell shake.

OHHH this one is fun. yesyesyes im so onboard with this one!!! i think about swap aus very fondly no matter how many times i see premises where vox and al get their storylines swapped ill ALWAYS eat it up.

okay so i do have some questions i want to get over with first. did al and vox breakup before the whole. (waves hands) seven year leave thing. like did they fight before he left because that brings a wholly different dynamic to the table rather than 'oh vox just disappeared one day', which in fairness i can see driving alastor crazy in a much different way, but also if they'd fought beforehand and alastor had expected to see vox back with the vees the day after or something, only to find him missing with no one aware of where he was... hoo boy. and also- does alastor take over the entertainment district here? like, he's got val and velvette as contracted souls, so do they stop running the district because they can no longer hold the respect of those they were once under and just do menial tasks under al's servitude, or is there a completely different dynamic here that ive passed over?

anyway with that over with... (bashes my head into the wall) YES I NEED THIS. ohmuy god. the aus where vox is sponsoring the hazbin hotel because of a deal he made with lucifer or something have been haunting my head for weeks upon end and i cant help but imagine something similar here- i can just imagine how pissed alastor would be to learn of the fact that vox was back and didnt even think to go and SHOW HIMSELF to him first??? vox was HIS. his muse, his rival, his stupid, stupid picture box- and he went off to make a deal with that bright-faced, stupid little princess of hell? instead of going back to alastor? no, no, no, that cant do, absolutely not, VALENTINO, you have to get your oblivious little employee under control before i rip out both your throats-- anyway. i imagine al probably hates intearcting with either of the vees but he does to make sure theyre not dead or trying to kill him (its all for voxs sake. he wouldn't be glad to return and find his friends slaughtered, after all.)

sorry i dont really have any other thoughts to addonto this (theres a reason why i havent written/drawn a swap au with them and its because ive no idea how the story would change given all the different nuances that we dont yet know... so. yeah) except maybe that alastor would probably be pissed as hell at the attention vox gets when he returns- because he was a celebrity figure before he was gone, too, and his return is like the equivalent to a comeback on princess diana's revenge dress level. instead of being pissed that other sinners are paying attention to vox in a 'they should be looking at me' kind of way though he's more pissed in a 'no one should look at him except for me' kind of way which really weirds charlie vaggie and angel out who are kinda just going like... 'are you sure about that guy man' and vox just shrugs like 'well last time i was face to face with him we had a really bitter breakup fight so idek if hes sure about me tbh'

#ran rambles #hazbin hotel #general asks #radiostatic #swap au

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hobisstar · 1 year

Text

What are you hiding from love?| Yandere!Jk x Reader V Last Part

Summary: Being in a relationship with Jungkook you’ve always noticed the signs, the red flags if you will. Being so in love with him you ignored them, until the people you loved dearly started disappearing one by one.

Warnings: Murder, Jungkook victim blaming ( like he will say i killed you because you are too stupid or whatever), Possessiveness, Mentions of Smut, Controlling, Locking up YN.

Taglist: vante 🫶🏾

A/N: This is made to be scary! That is all. I honestly dont like mixing smut with yandere because i read yandere fics to be spooked not horny lol. This has been absolutely fun to write for you guys! Im so happy how much love it had gotten over the past month since ive been writing it! I love you all so so much! Enjoy!

Its been about two years since Jungkook decided to let yn go on her own! So far, yn has become the owner of the coffee shop, has opened up plenty of them across Asia and plans to open some in The Untied States.

Life has been looking absolutely beautiful for yn! But heres the thing.

Bodies have been discovered. Fresh bodies. Of course going through what she went through with Jungkook, she feared that this was his doing. That the so called hobby has now reached the news channels. Though it says that the crimes has been in only England, it was still capability of it being Jungkook.

“Yn! Are you even listening? Im telling you Namjoon wants to take you on a date!” Joy, yns now close friend that she has gained from opening the coffee shops.

“Sorry, but i dont think im ready to date. The last guy was for 5 years and it didn’t turn out well in the end.” Yn mumbled looking over at the tv that was on the crime scene of the killings.

But what was showed, made yns blood run cold.

What was at the crime scene was dandelions.

The flowers that Jungkook always used to gift her on days he felt like we did something wrong. He would cut the steam off and just leave the flowers to never be able to grow again.

Was he…back?

It was closing time and of course yn being the owner, she decided that it was her duty to close every single night.

But tonight, she couldnt shake the feeling that she was being watched.

As everyone was leaving she saw a guy with a big hoodie on taking his time to clean up his mess on the table. Putting his crumbs inside a napkin then taking the napkin and closing it tightly then throwing it out.

yn watched from behind the counter taking containers from the counter and putting them on the shelf behind her.

This mysterious guy has been coming in everyday. Same time. She never serves him but she knows Joy does and she hates serving him. ‘His glare, it can kill.’ She would say when describing the eyes of this mysterious man.

While cleaning she saw the guy get up and come up to the counter.

Face mask on and glasses… sun glasses.

Its night time.

Maybe it was a fashion statement. Thats what yn left it as. “ Hi sorry we are about to close soon so im gonna have to ask you to leave..” is what she was aiming to say but once she turned around she saw he just left a napkin with hand writing on it.

She grabbed it and began to read it:

“Hi baby! Oh its been such a long time, oh how i miss you. Our child also misses you. 2 years right? That is let you go? Ah, I remember something. Today is our anniversary! Our now 7 year anniversary. Im picking you up at 11! Be ready!

JJK,”

Yn was at this point shaking. Fear took over her body but was trying to hide it. She wasnt doing such a good job at that. As much as she wanted to call the cops, get him arrested, she knew that those cops had no chance in trying to get Jungkook.

Hed kill them all in the blink of an if he even knew that they talked to yn.

When yn got home she didnt let the fact go that when she got there she obviously saw Jungkooks car right outside her town house.

Mind you this is the 5th time this year she has moved. None of the reasons dealing with Kook but they definitely where personal reasons.

She braced herself, once she goes inside her home, Jungkook will be inside.

She could call the cops and run away from home then go to Jins house.

Actually now that Yn thought about it, what if Jin had something to do with it? He was always to calm for her liking honestly. Why was he always just so calm with him? I mean he explained it yes, hes seen it for so many years but why didnt he at least call the cops? Then again was the cops really gonna help him?

Entering the home, it felt like deja vu. Coming home on anniversary and Jungkook was cooking their favorite shared dish.

Spaghetti! Yn liked it because it was delicious and Jungkook probably like it because it reminded him of blood.

“My love! You are right on time! The Spaghetti is hot and ready to be platted. Get comfortable and come eat”

He didn’t need to turn around for yn to know that it was actually him. He colored his tattoos, became more swoll and also cut his long hair.

Yn didnt change anything or didnt get comfortable since this was all just too much for her.

‘Keep calm and go with his plan, yn.’ Thats all she kept telling herself.

Though what was his plan? Drug her? Kill her?

Well, none of those. He wanted her back. If that meant living in this house with her, then so be it. Jin had Bam so, they’d have plenty of time together.

Finally he sat down with two plates of spaghetti and there he was in all his glory.

He had the cockiest smirk while toying with his now new lip ring before sitting down across from yn.

“ Fucking finally, i have you again.”

#bts x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x yn #jeon jungguk #jungkook yandere series #jungkook yandere #yandere bts #yandere!jungkook #hobisstar writes #jungkook ff #jk bts #jeon jk #spooktober

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fever-fluff · 11 months

Text

Home V

Word count: 3.2k (Not Proof Read) Azriel is butting heads with his new companion, being forced to recognise some hard truths...

Part IV , Part VI

The waves crashing against one another was a sound she hadn’t realised she’d missed so much in her time away. Brien had taken up post beside her, finally moving away from their guest for the first time since that night. She had felt his reluctance to carry out their journey after she had woken him for the terrors that had plagued his mind. It wasn’t the first time he had dealt with them, she supposed. But the undiluted fear that had come off him in waves was unlike anything she’d ever felt before.

So, she had silently requested Brien to accompany him when she couldn’t. And now that they’d made t to the swelling ocean, his anticipation to slip away had turned into a desire to run from what he’d promised. She’d smelt the shift so intensely that she almost felt bad for keeping him here. But their work was more important than running from inner demons, at least to her anyway. Besides, there was no telling whether he’d return to Indere to Mor, and she couldn’t allow someone a new friend held so dear decide to disappear into his shadows.

She moved away from them towards the cove they’d need to complete the journey from, walking down the steep rocks she’d passed so many times she didn’t need to follow Brien’s lead anymore, but his presence in front of her was a welcome one. They’d spent centuries together, sometimes it only being the two of them, and he had become apart of her just as much as she for him.

Aodhan was talking to Azriel behind her, explaining how they’d cross safely without fear of the swallowing waves beneath. “You’ll have to fly on the currents, making sure to take the ones sweeping up and avoiding those that’ll push you towards the swell. It gets easier as you do it, but winnowing is out of the question. There’s wards up that haven’t been broken longer than I’m alive.”

“And another reason Mor wouldn’t be able to cross regardless of whether she was allowed to or not.” He’d already pieced together that it was too dangerous to carry another fae as you navigated the currents. Aodhan nodded in confirmation, “We’ve had sailors and other fae try to cross before, whether they knew the islands were inhabited or not, we don’t know. Their secrets went down with them to the bottom of the sea.”

She was still looking towards the sound of the sea when she’d heard his next question. “Which still doesn’t explain how you’re crossing…” She smiled, not straying from her position, but pulled a sharp whistle to Brien who was preoccupied with sniffing around something to her right. Her voice cut loudly to the howling wind that had picked up as if it sensed the oncoming flight, “I can’t let you in on all my secrets just yet Shadowsinger.”

Brien moved to her feet, his physical body shifting into something else, something entirely magic. It swirled around her, climbing from her legs upwards and taking whatever was physical of her with it. There was no sign of her feet beneath her, not feeling of them either. They ceased to exist, as did the rest of her body as Brien climbed and climbed. It was always terrifying, feeling everything she was and is being turned into what felt like nothing. Brien had reached her neck as she bid her goodbyes, “I’ll see you both on the other side,” and the very last of her body was engulfed.

There was never any memory of what had happened once her consciousness was consumed. She had been something, then wasn’t, and until Brien decided to place her back in the physical world she did not exist in and shape or form. She always thought maybe one day, if Brien ever decided to, he could just allow her to be that way for eternity. She didn’t know if he could form his physical body without bringing her back, and never thought it necessary to find out.

The return of her was always more tedious than the consuming, taking longer as if Brien wanted to make sure he didn’t forget to form a toe or a finger on the way back. Azriel and Aodhan hadn’t made it over yet, and she wondered if he’d actually attempted to make a run for it when she had disappeared. But the beats of two pairs of wings from the sea was enough to confirm her thoughts wrong. She sat perched on a rock, Brien wrapped loosely around her shoulders, purring loudly. He always craved the closeness of it after, as if he missed her presence in the short time she wasn’t there. Aodhan and Azriel were panting from the exertion it took to cross over, she wondered if either of them had gotten close to being swallowed on the way over.

She stood as the caught their breath, moving to greet the two of them on home soil. Home. It felt good to be able to call the ground she stood on that. The chieftains were right to call her, it had been far too long.

“Azriel” his body turned to her attention, “welcome to our home.”

Azriel never, never, wanted to agree to a race like that again. After he had gotten over his spluttering about how Brien had practically eaten her in a wave of pure magic, Aodhan had insisted that it was the best way to cross, that it would take his mind off the sheer force that would be beneath him. But it had done no such thing, and he’d nearly toppled through the rough wind too many times and fell straight into a watery grave. Dancing with death had always been easy for him and his brothers, but that was sheer stupidity.

But, looking at where he’d be stationed for the next while, he understood what that graveyard beyond the cliffs was hiding.

Peace.

He felt it in the wind, soft and warm unlike the ones he’d just flown through. Lush green covered the sloping sides of the tops of the cliffs above him, a colour so inviting he felt the itch to roll in it like he were a dog. Trees of every kind seemed to guard him on both sides, and the sounds of running water filed his ears from somewhere. There was a quiet here he had never felt before, there was no inkling of being alert for oncoming dangers from somewhere. This place was a land that felt like he had passed on, but the aches in the muscles holding his wings and the tightness still filling his chest from a lack of air grounded him from thinking he had truly died going over the water.

They had begun to walk inland, passing floral and fauna that had gone undisturbed for centuries, unperturbed by their trek and seemingly unaware of the predators they could be. Azriel had never seen the likes of it -even Velaris, the city which held an imaginable number of dreams and hopes couldn’t hold a candle to the utter surrealness of this place.

Even watching her as she walked among paths long trodden into the earth, her steps were lighter than before. Like she had nothing to fear behind the bends ahead or the treeline to her side. Brien didn’t walk as closely to her either, shifting between prancing legs and swift wings as he basked in the afternoon sun overhead. The stopped slightly as they came to a dip in the land, the expanding view of her land filling his vision. She nodded towards Aodhan, “Fly ahead and let everyone know we’re back.” His arrival with them a silent command between her words was not lost on him as Aodhan unfurled his wings and split through the air, the gust he left behind making Azriel plant his feet more firmly in place. Before he had even looked to the sky, Aodhan had flown out of sight.

“Sometimes I forget the strength he has until he takes off.” The fondness in her voice was contagious and Azriel found himself smiling along. “You must be proud.”

Her face had tilted towards the sun to take in the heat as she sighed, “You have no idea.”

“When he was fifteen, he’d crash landed into the roof of our home, falling into where I was sitting trying to enjoy a glass of wine after a long day. It took him a week to repatch the hole. But the entire time all he could talk about was how fast he had flown and how he’d become faster and faster.” They were walking side by side now, his attention raptly on the joy she seemed to light up with as she gave him a laugh, “I couldn’t even be mad about the roof, or that he could have hurt himself. He seemed so happy in that moment that all I wanted from then on was to keep it that way, that he’d never feel bad about being who he was.”

“His happiness meant your happiness” Azriel thought back to Nyx, already noting the familiar feeling he had for his nephew brewing in his chest. “My brother, he has a little one now with his mate. I’m certain the whole family would tie the stars on strings for him if it’d make him smile.”

“It’s terrifying, thinking what you’d justify to bring them happiness. Everything is fair game when it comes to them.” her sentiment was horrifyingly true for Azriel. If anything -or anyone- ever got in the way of Nyx, not only would Feyre and Rhys burn the world, the rest of them would destroy whatever ash was left over in their wake. The air had turned tense around them for a moment until she spoke again, “It’s the reason I’m doing this, pushing to open the boarders that is… Aodhan, like many of the younger ones, is restless. He’s never truly seen the rest of the world. And this peace we’ve created, it’s become suffocating for them.”

She made to grasp his hand, gripping his fingers with hers stiffly, as if it would convey how much resolve she had in her to make this happen. “Children of peace are so different from children of war, Azriel. He – they – need the freedom we’ve kept from them for too long.”

He wanted to believe her, truly. But he’d seen so much of the ugly side of the world that he couldn’t bring himself to stop the words spilling from his mouth, “The world isn’t as welcoming as you think. It’s not as beautiful as here, the wounds are still so fresh from everything that I doubt even the next few centuries can fix it. Too much blood has been shed…”

“And yet your sister tends to those wounds not far from here, doing the work so many before have been too scared to even consider a possibility.” Something hard had entered her tone, and he felt himself wishing to take back his words if only to remove it as quickly as it had come, but he persisted. “She’s creating trade routes, what you’re implying is opening up a world, an unknown world, to the rest of us. You can’t possibly think it will end in peace…”

“She’s connecting worlds, how is that so different from what I want?”

“You know damn well how different it is. You’ve been cut off from the rest of us for centuries! You hid during wars that the rest of us bled for, how welcoming do you think our world will be to yours once they realise you have come out of everything unscathed while the rest of us clawed our way out of hel to rebuild what was left?” She’d ripped her grip from his at that, eyes hardening and levelling him. Even though he knew she couldn’t very well see him, Azriel had a mind to take a step back. “Do not try to educate me on political matters I am damn well aware of Shadowsinger. I see now I should have let you slink off in your fear instead of having Brien watch you like a dog.”

Azriel bristled at her admission, “Fear? Do you think that was what that was?” the distance he created closed instantly as he matched her stance a hair’s breadth away, “I have come here, an unknown territory with unknown fae, unguarded and you believe I am afraid?” His wings had spread wide, shadows pouring from them steadily as if to snuff the light that surrounded the two of them forever in a sea of darkness. But the female in front of him didn’t cower, didn’t balk at his act of dominance as so many others had.

“I have been alive for over seven hundred years; I know fear when I smell it. And the stench of it smothers you Azriel, whether you realise it or not.”

The hitch of his breath seemed to pull her from the fight she seemed so wound up to have, and she sighed when he answered her with a growl. “Azriel, I am not ignorant to what fae outside these islands may think. But this is the only step forward. If you do not want to help, then that is your choice, and you may leave whenever you want. But do not shut a door you haven’t properly opened yet.”

As she stepped away from him and the wave of shadows around them, turning to begin the walk again, Azriel felt himself torn in two. He was still angry, her implication still stinging fresh, but he hadn’t lost himself enough to forget the rest of her words. So, begrudgingly, he made to follow. Brien had flown back in between it all probably to ensure his masters safety and now slunk in between her steps, chuffing at him as if it was his fault the mood had turned sour. He growled back lowly at the disrespect, but the familiar had already taken to ignoring him in favour of watching a butterfly in the nearby brush.

Azriel wasn’t sure what to expect with his arrival, newly announced as it was. For somewhere so disconnected, surely a newcomer would warrant some type of wariness in the form of unchecked violence should the need arise. But, as they reached as small town that she had told him was one of many that sat on the outskirts of the main part of the island, he was met with very much the opposite.

Fae with wings very much like Aodhan’s had come out in groups to get a glance of what they’d heard to be an emissary of the known world. Small children, more than he had ever seen in one place his entire life, huddled in groups or at the legs of who were most likely their parents as he passed through beside her. Their whispers reached his ears quickly.

Gods, look at his wings…

Mom, why do they look like that?

Dad, why does his wings look different to ours?... He’s not fae like us son, he’s a foreigner. What’s a foreigner? Ahhhh, it’s someone who comes from a different place than you do… Oh….

Do you think he can fly in the rain?

Wonder where he’s coming from? Probably the continent, it’s where Danu was last visiting.

He looked to her in question of the last whisper he listened to, “Danu?”

“An honorary title, it’s what most fae will use instead of my given name.” He hummed his understanding, “So should I be using it as well?”

She threw him a shrug as they entered one of the buildings, “If you want, it makes no difference to me.”

The building turned out to be a tavern of a sorts. Bottles lined the shelves behind a counter, and tables with precarious looking stools littered the rest of the floor. But she made for the back of the room, pulling back a piece of fabric to reveal a better looking table and chairs made for those with wings more private than the rest of the place. Danu, he supposed it would be best if he honor her name here for the good graces of the rest, motioned for him to sit while she went to grab the bottle and two tumblers the barkeep had left on the counter without a word.

Pouring what looked to be whiskey for each of them, she lifted her glass in cheers to his and downed it in one go. It burned his throat as fire would going down, hitting the base of his stomach far harder than any liquor in Rita’s ever had and he found himself staving off a cough.

“Uisce thine, one of the best things to ever grace the world of drinking.” Azriel didn’t really agree with her sentiment. If either Cassian or Nesta got their hands on the likes of this, well, there wouldn’t be much to keep the chaos that would ensue from happening. “Perhaps you should keep this on the island.” Their spat from earlier on seemed to be a matter of the past for her as she laughed in understanding. Pouring a second round, she began to tell him more of her home and how to navigate it. “Muintir na Lasrach are an old race, they predate even some families of high fae and our customs are much different to yours.”

He listened closely to how they didn’t believe in the mother creating the known world, and how the phoenix was one of four gods who had given up a single feather to create them from fire, wind and clay. “Like the phoenix, they’re incredibly selfish down to their very nature, so I’d be careful if you decide to venture outside of political connections and who you choose to do that with. Male and females alike are extremely territorial if they’ve claimed someone for themselves, and because you’re an outsider death wouldn’t be too harsh a punishment if you put a foot wrong.” Azriel felt his stomach drop as the memory of Rhys swearing him off Elain resurfaced. He’d made the mistake of coming between fate once before, he wouldn’t do it again. “No mates. Noted.”

Her brows pulled together in rebuttal. “There’s no mates on the island, at least not in your knowledge of the term. Everyone here chooses their partner of their own accord, no fate involved. They’re just extremely territorial is all I’m saying.”

Azriel didn’t know how to comprehend what she’d admitted. Regardless of whether they believed in the mother or not, how could there be no semblance of mates anywhere. “How is that possible?”

She made to pour one last drink for them before they’d go to an inn for the night, “A story for another time. Drink up, and I’ll tell you the rest of what you need to know after we’ve had some stew.”

Pronunciation of words

Muintir na lasrach —> mwin-ter na lass-rock

Uisce Thine —> ish-kah chin-a

Aodhan —> a-dawn

Taglist @mis-lil-red, @justdreamstars, @florencemtrash

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cruyuu · 2 months

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Hey have you ever notices how sukuna has a lower emotional maturity than yuuji does?

Like one of the things ive noticed is that Yuuji has weaknesses and uolifts them, while sukuna eliminates them.

Hey Sukuna, why aren't you strong enough to protect your weaknesses? Why do you have to eliminate them? Or are you not strong enough to do so?

Man, sukuna physically is strong and poweeful (moreso than yuuji), but emotionally and mentally he's weaker than Yuuji, and that's becoming his downfall. (Along with underestimating Yuuji ofc haha!)

I forgot to add that Yuuji will probably be able to find a solution for his weaknesses rather than just eliminating them Sukuna can't, and that can be seen on how quick he is to cull things down with violence too! Fascinating how Yuuji is better at problem solving than Sukuna for long term solutions rather than Short term solutions like eliminating problems (which never truly solves them)

Hi anon!

This got a bit lengthy so more after the cut.

Well, there's something about him acting so unlike himself whenever Yuuji shows up and yet being this force to be reckoned with and spilling wisdom while fighting others. I wouldn't say he lacks emotional intelligence, it's just that he's too full of himself to reflect on things. If he dwelled on Yuuji more, took his time to understand who he is, he'd actually see through everything Yuuji is doing right now and would prepare for it accordingly. The same way he prepared for Gojo by taking Megumi to perfectly counter Infinity with Mahoraga (and can I add that his fight against Mahoraga cemented him as someone who's pretty experienced as a sorcerer?? Like sheesh).

Sukuna took being in Yuuji's body for granted, considering he acts surprised once he's in Megumi's body and is shocked at his strength, once he's able to really see him. If he just wanted to pay attention, he would've realized that Yuuji is a bigger threat to him than all others combined, considering he's capable of using Sukuna's own techniques, capable of strategizing and isn't just a regular human, but his vessel. Obviously, he's going to be strong. Obviously, if he could suppress him, he's not to be taken lightly at all but should be his top 1 priority.

Sukuna takes on the role of a mentor to others (specifically, to those he deems strong) but when confronted with Yuuji, that part of him just... disappears lol. He's a strategist, terribly skilled, but whenever Yuuji shows up all of that is... nowhere to be seen. He starts teasing him, mocks his strength, and doesn't even want to treat him like an actual opponent, an actual threat. This is all because he believes Yuuji to be insignificant but then that insignificance has a funny way of showing itself as everything but the said word.

His viewpoint (only the strong ones yada yada) is to blame. It's clouding his judgement and it speaks of stubbornness and narrow-mindedness which will be his doom.

Like one of the things ive noticed is that Yuuji has weaknesses and uplifts them, while sukuna eliminates them.

It's because they are different. Both are born into different eras and their outlook on life differs heavily. Sukuna didn't subject himself to change precisely because he had persisted for a long time and remained undefeated and hence didn't need to change his viewpoint while Yuuji slipped into cog mentality after his fight with Mahito and adapted mostly because he had to, if he planned to keep on trying to fulfill his goal. For Yuuji, his life matters little when it comes to others considering he blames himself for swallowing that finger and reincarnating Sukuna and hence he survives for others, not for himself, and meanwhile Sukuna had been surviving for himself all these years.

The thing is that Sukuna never needed to change (after all, he IS the strongest for a reason) because he never found an opponent worthy enough or capable of matching his rhythm and posing a threat to his very existence.

Yuuji doesn't seem to value strength nor does he fight to show off, while Sukuna values strength and loves showing off, nothing else. Yuuji cares for other people, and Sukuna just cares for himself so, of course, he wouldn't understand why someone would utilize their strength to save others instead of merely to fight. If he truly knew Yuuji to be selfless, and that he's inheriting his techniques, he would've realized that Yuuji might use them accordingly against him.

Again we go back to the fact that he continually kept turning a blind eye to him and then acted annoyed when Yuuji kept Black Flash-ing him. He acts like he's never even been in his body and like Yuuji truly is just your uninteresting human (and an idiot 😭) and not someone capable of change and great things.

Tbh, I'm kinda surprised he's still in denial about Yuuji's development, especially even after Uraume warned him about Yuuji, but everyone has a weakness and Sukuna's is definitely thinking that somebody who was made with the intention to house him won't have the capabilities necessary to grow in power. Like Yuuji survived a couple of fatal blows by Sukuna already and even that didn't phrase him (but what did was the fact that he learns! and improves! and uses his techniques! like ??? 😭)

But yeah, Sukuna does completely eliminate this nerdy side of him and doesn't try and dwell on things even if he definitely should. He stops to think and strategize against others but cannot when it comes to Yuuji. For one, he should've definitely stopped seeing Yuuji as an idiot who can't put two and two together considering Yuuji proved himself smart enough to utilize a Binding Vow to upscale the damage of his weak Dismantle (or Shrine), basically the way Sukuna, himself, had done in a fight against Gojo.

Maybe this is all just because he's too hung up on believing that he cannot have an equal? After all, he rejected to be born a twin by eating his brother and now believes himself to be untouchable. The fact that he survived certain death while just being a fetus is just adding to that arrogance.

Man, sukuna physically is strong and poweeful (moreso than yuuji), but emotionally and mentally he's weaker than Yuuji, and that's becoming his downfall. (Along with underestimating Yuuji ofc haha!)

Acting self-absorbed against Yuuji was his biggest mistake. Yuuji goes against his ideology 'only the strong ones survive' but if he was more open-minded, he would've kept an eye on him just in case and could've taken care of him.

That, however, places him as a total opposite to Yuuji and makes Yuuji his worthy opponent tho so I can't complain much about it. Sukuna's weakness is to be found in Yuuji (and vice versa) because, despite Yuuji wearing his face, he's still somebody who values others more so than himself. Fittingly, it is why he uses Sukuna's techniques in that way. Not to kill but to save.

Like these two represent two ways of looking at life- either through selfishness or through selflessness. One continually prioritizes himself while the other continually prioritizes everyone else but himself and both persist. That's why they're twins who (abnormally) continually refuse to acknowledge each other while acknowledging everyone else.

Fascinating how Yuuji is better at problem solving than Sukuna for long term solutions rather than Short term solutions like eliminating problems (which never truly solves them)

It all comes down to their differences, anon. Both of them are presented as just this one thing but are so much more, except they're refusing to acknowledge it. Yuuji's refusing to acknowledge that his life matters (which is shown through Sukuna- just how important it is to value your own life) and meanwhile Sukuna's refusing to acknowledge that others do matter (which is shown through Yuuji- just how much others are important for you).

Yuuji thinks of others, Sukuna doesn't. Sukuna's too used to violence, Yuuji isn't. At this rate, it's possible Sukuna won't even have the time to acknowledge everything about Yuuji before he dies but that is to be expected. After all, there's a trend that all jujutsu sorcerers die with regrets so Sukuna can join all others in the afterlife and mull for eternity about Yuuji (that's an interesting thought lol).

I don't necessarily agree that Yuuji is better at eliminating problems (or for that matter, that Sukuna might be better). Both of them are too much of a single thing, refusing to acknowledge other aspects of themselves. Yuuji doesn't want to be selfish, Sukuna doesn't want to be selfless and that's pretty unhealthy.

Imo, they have to acknowledge that and strike a balance to be just that. After all, that's what it means to be human! We're pretty complex and cannot be described as just one thing and nothing else and these two do a damn good job at showcasing that.

#melanswers #jjk #sukuna #yuuji #sukuita

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the-bonfires-ember · 5 months

Text

ok so this has a lot of facets so bear with me. standard disclaimer that this is all based on my personal experiences as a narcissistic sociopath; im not a professional and i dont speak for everyone.

anyway.

firstly, yes we do. i think prosocials/egotypicals do it too to an extent but for different reasons and in different ways.

from an aspd perspective, i get annoyed at people and it is no longer to my benefit to stick around them, ill just disappear in a classic ghosting style. frankly i never get to this point anymore because ive managed to surround myself with people i very rarely if ever find annoying. in the past, when ive befriended people and then theyve frustrated me or ive just generally found them annoying for some reason, ive either slowly extricated myself if i could keep getting stuff out of the person or just totally destroyed the relationship so that they stopped reaching out and i could stop expending energy into dodging them. in my head if someone has pissed me off, it means that its going to keep happening and theyve just finally shown me their true colours so i might as well get out now or detach myself so im not going to emotionally invested enough to get annoyed again in the future. essentially this means i stop caring about them at all. as for how fear factors in; it goes a pretty long way back into people being fundamentally untrustworthy and only beneficial in as much as i can get from them. if im putting up with more than im getting out of it, id just walk away because everyone is out for themselves and of course that applies to me too. thats the way ive been taught the world works, and if im not getting any emotional backlash for doing that, why wouldnt i? it just makes sense. im fundamentally out for myself because no one else has been there to help when i needed them in the past.

from an npd perspective, if someones annoying me its likely because i am thinking of myself as being vastly superior to them and find the annoying quirks of them to be proof of their inferiority. the fact that theyve disagreed with me or fought me on something means they dont have the degree of respect and admiration for me that they should. this usually leads to me discarding them out of frustration and ill push them away by just showing less and less interest in them, or the ways i would that i mentioned above. the fear here, as you may be able to guess, is being wrong and being weaker/worse/unworthy. for me, being right and being more esteemed than my peers was a matter of survival in my childhood, and now if someone is starting to chip into the veneer or perfection ive built and maintained they have become a threat and i have to separate before they see too much and i lose everything.

now i dont know why you - orginal messager - asked this question, or why anyone else might be looking for this informatio. i can come up with a few guesses though, so im gonna add a couple things that applies to prosocials and other things that apply to antisocials and narcissists. but ill tuck that away so you can ignore my advice if you want to and just take the analysis.

prosocials - if you have a friend with either of these personality disorders and they are beginning to withdraw theres a choice before you. firstly, you can let them. you can recognise that this person doesnt want to associate with you anymore for whatever reason and allow yourself to be at peace with that. im sure it hurts, especially after what ive said about my reasons for doing this, but if you think you are better off just letting this one go, i support that and encourage you to just slip away with a clean break.

the other option you have, if you want to try your best to keep that person with you, is to address it plain as day. its uncomfortable, yes, but try not to be confrontational. a simple 'hey, ive noticed you distancing yourself and withdrawing and i wanted to check in and find out why and whether or not we can resolve this'. perhaps its cold of me to ask this of you, im not entirely certain one way or the other. but you deserve to try and make it work if thats what you want, and the only way that happens is by addressing the problems and really, truly understanding that the behaviours we exhibit come from a place of fear and the memory of pain. they are trauma disorders. and while trauma does not excuse harmful behaviours it does no one any favours to ignore that its the root of the problem. maybe your friend will brush you off, thats true. they might not be ready to look deeper and thats their right. at which point youve done all you can and now you need to prioritise yourself. but maybe youll make your friend reevaluate, maybe they want to heal. and you can be such a huge part of that by just asking the questions and really listening to the response. its hard work, i know, but i will always be so grateful for the people who made me stop and look at myself and really see.

the third choice is you pretend its not happening and just wait to see if they get past it and come back. they might, its not implausible, but to me this feels like inviting yourself to be treated poorly again later when symptoms flare again and those fears react to something you dont understand or know about.

pwASPD and/or NPD - im not going to try and tell you that you owe it to the people around you to recover. im never saying that. recovery is your decision and it should only be for you. i chose recovery because i wanted to see what i wasnt able to before, and it has been so fucking hard. but id do it again in a heartbeat. its important to note though that i got lucky. really really fucking lucky, and id be doing you a disservice if i pretended otherwise. on that note, here is my advice for those who want to get better and those who dont:

if you dont, if you dont want to see the fear that is reacting to the perceived threat, if its still too painful to look at, just dont. let yourself be blind to it and find comfort in the ways you can. its not cowardly, and its not pathetic. sometimes forcing yourself to stare into a fire is more damaging than its worth, and you are the only one who can decide if it is or not. only you know how close to that fire you are. perhaps its better to distance yourself from this person even if its just for now, or perhaps its better to leave entirely. it depends on how uncomfortable you feel. but i suggest figuring it out quickly and saving yourself the trouble that will come if you string someone along for too long. its always blown up in my face eventually, for what my experience is worth, so deciding on your next move sooner than later saves you a lot of trouble. but perhaps the perks are better than the blow up later on. who am i to say.

if you do want to recover though, firstly, give yourself some credit. the way you are reacting is because this has kept you alive and safe this long, dont let yourself forget that. you arent ridiculous or pathetic or cowardly or whatever else your brain might be saying you are. you are alive, and you are deciding to grow past your trauma and the responses youve learnt to cope with it and thats fucking huge. dont forget it. now the first thing you want to do is really look at what is making you uncomfortable. something is, but itll take some digging. these survival methods run deep, and tracing back to the root of the issue will take time and a lot of work and so much fucking courage. its not easy, im not going to lie, but you can do it. you are worth the time and the work it takes to get the things you want for yourself. find out whats messing with you and see how you can resolve it, either by discussing it with your friend and letting them support you or just rationalising it with yourself. understand that you are able to keep yourself safe, you just have to figure out what you are afraid of being vulnerable to. youre going to be ok, and for the record, im really proud of you.

obviously to everyone: do whatever the fuck you want to forever. im not here to tell you to change your entire life just because i say you should, even im not that egotistical. im just offering my experiences and observations, its up to you what you do with them.

#ask #cluster b #actually aspd #actually narcissistic #npd #aspd #actually npd #aspd safe #npd safe #cluster b safe #trauma related #trauma response #trauma recovery

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 1 year

Note

Ooo I’ve missed you!!! This idea just came to me if it’s okay!!

Can I please request a Big brothers!Tangerine and Lemon x Younger sister!reader where when they’re on the Bullet Train, things of theirs keep disappearing, the case, their phones, wallets, etc… Turns out Y/n, a 15 year old girl had been pickpocketing the both of them, and she’s so good at it that the two expert assassins didn’t even notice until she took something bigger lol, the case hshs. Anyways, after they deal with the Prince, they come in guns blazing expecting the thief to be another assassin, not just a kid. They take her under their wing?

Y/n reminds them of a younger them? (Also she’s a foster kid like they were)

hii!! ive missed you !! and yes, ofc, always! love it, I did change the age to 17, hope that’s okay, just so it’s closer to be an adult (as I only really write adult readers) thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

…

sneaky findings

tangerine x fem!reader x lemon (platonic)

word count: 740

✧.┊ MASTERLIST

You haven't been dealt a good hand in life, so you've had to supplement it in other ways. Your ways just so happened to be dipping into the pockets of others- literally.

Because you were a child in the foster system, you moved around a lot. You regularly met new kids, and so you'd pick up on tips and tricks from the others- granted, most of them were illegal, but better yet, they were tricks that became a habit and what would later become the reason for your survival.

And this brings you to today: sitting patiently on the bullet train at Tokyo station with your ticket and last 200 yen. You were in desperate need of a little extra cash, so you were hoping and counting on some good finds on your trip to Kyoto.

When the train left the station, you got up as inconspicuously as possible, avoiding attention as you sneaked down the aisles, slipping your hand into the passenger's pockets and swiftly back into your own. When you were in the connecting carriage area and safe, you would assess your findings.

Usually, you were pretty lucky: new makes of phones, fancy watches and sometimes genuine gold bangles. So far, it wasn't so good, just a couple packs of gum and mostly empty wallets.

You try your luck in the next carriage, immediately spotting a couple of Englishmen in designer suits up ahead. They weren't your typical target, but you had a solid feeling about these two- they were bound to have some expensive things for you to pocket and sell.

You slowly walk down the aisle, a brochure in hand as you pretend to read through it, skimming over the page to create the illusion. Once you are sure they're busy with the other guy at the table, you slip your hand into their pockets, pulling out their wallets and phones.

You reach the end of the carriage and stop once more to assess your findings before spotting something in the luggage area, the silver briefcase you overheard. Grabbing it as quickly as possible, you hide it in your bag, covering it with the scarf you stole from earlier today.

After a few more snatchings, you stroll to the lounge and instantly slump into the comfy seats, kicking your feet up on the opposite chair. The area was empty, so you could finally add up your profits from today in peace. You did a lot better than you thought, especially with that promising silver case. You just had to get in there first to calculate your total earnings.

—

"Oi, you!" a voice calls out from behind, startling you.

You sink lower in your chair, hiding the exposed back of your head.

"I can still see you."

"That’s the girl?" another one says. "She's a kid?" his voice getting closer.

"You stole all our shit," the first says, walking towards you. "Think it's funny?" He snarks, pushing your feet away to sit on the opposing seat.

"No," you shrug, pulling your findings closer to you.

"Take it easy, mate. She's only a kid."

"A kid? Lem, she stole all our shit."

"It's pretty impressive if you think about it."

"My stop is coming up," you lie, adjusting yourself to stand.

"Hm, yeah, I don't think so," the first guy shakes his head, holding his hand up. "You're gonna tell us how you knicked our stuff, then give us our shit back."

The other guy stands beside him, crossing his arms, staring you down as if to intimate you. "Nah, I'm just kidding," he laughs. "Just tryna scare you, but didn't work," he grins, nodding to his partner as he mouths something, then turning back to you. "Lemon, and this is my brother, Tangerine."

"Like the fruit? I like it."

"That's the first," Tangerine scoffs, shaking his head. "You're a bit young to be travelling alone, aren't ya?" He asks, glancing around the empty carriage.

"No," you shrug.

"How old are ya?" Lemon asks.

"Seventeen,"

"One sec," he says, pulling his brother aside. "We really could use the extra hands. Could you imagine how well we'd do? ... she sorta reminds me of us."

"I can hear you," you interrupt. "Not being very quiet and assassiny."

"Zip it," Tangerine says over his shoulder.

"What'd ya say? That a yeah?"

"Yeah, fine," Tangerine sighs, walking over to you and snatching back his phone and wallet.

"Wanna join us?"

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

tan taglist: @tangerinesgf @kpopgirlbtssvt @angel-of-new-orleans @earth-elemental18 @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @thewinterv @navs-bhat @ilovetangerinewithallmyheart @theredvelvetbitch @randomawesomeperson102 @lov3lypeaches7 @princess-pebbles-things @astermath @dynamitehacke @boldlyimportantface @charmedkim @fruitlovertangerine @psiiconic @bubblezuku @sporadiccherryblossom @landryslove @daenerys-supremacy @dontknownameauthor @honestly-who-even-is-this

#tangerine #tangerine bullet train #tangerine x reader #tangerine fanfiction #tangerine and lemon #lemon x sister reader #lemon bullet train #tangerine x sister reader #lemon and tangerine

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gingkos-eldritch-secret · 1 year

Text

Fanfiction commentary and recommendations: Lex Luthor´s ascend from supervillainy to fatherhood Part VII (chapters 31 to 35)

The Original story by @halfagone can be found here.

The previous parts of the commentaries can be found here:

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

I´m very sorry that this part is so late - this is what happens when you´re on vacation and decide to do two long-term projects at once. At least they´re going well?

Anyways. What awaits us in these five chapters is a sneak peek into the minds of some Amity Park residents, a foray into social media´s stance on our favourite ghost as well as said ghost´s birth- and death days. Quite the packed program if you ask me! Without further ado - here we go :)

○○○••○○•••○○••○○○

We begin, as is quite unusual in this fic, with Sam. And the first thing we see is her frustration about her parents, combined with all the pent-up worry and rage about Danny´s disappearance as well as all her arguments with Tucker and wow - Danny sure seems to have been the glue keeping the both of them together.

I think what fuels all that rage annoyance is the guilt she feels at 'not having been there' for Danny before he fled into the realms and the portal got him. And it´s unreasonable for sure, but in the end I´d do the same. Regardless of how senseless it seems.

And Sam can´t even absolve herself of her guilt because life had gone on. The school year has gone on and people had started asking questions, with Dash and Valerie being the most persistent. And wow, Dash must really have been having a kiddie crush on Danny for him to worry so much. If only he´d shown that sooner and to Danny though… but we always only get such apologies too late in the end. And they also don´t make any inflicted pain easier …

Sam also finds this weird, especially since Dash, after years of not even being friends anymore, can still remember what Danny had wanted to become when he was older and that Danny could do the same.

How weird it was to know that Danny and Tucker and a bunch of the A-listers had gone to the same schools since elementary and some of them had even been friends? It certainly rubs Sam the wrong way.

What doesn´t is Valerie´s behaviour. Because, yes, Val and Danny had broken up long ago but neither had seemed all too ready to let it all go. There had always been LOOKS if you know what I mean.

And yeah, Sam had been jealous at the whole affair, she´d also never really thought about getting together with him instead. Despite all the comments from the people around them. And I think that´s good. God only knows how annoying it can get when people try to set you up with your friends. It can get really awkward really fast.

But … the whole difference is that Sam at some point has begun to wonder 'what if'. And if that question comes up? Buddy, you know how it goes. There´s never any good when it comes to 'what if'. Because it is an inherently human quality to prevent those 'what if’s. Because they can hurt. Regardless of if these what if´s can really come to fruition or not.

In this case it would have probably been worse because she still feels such crushing guilt about the portal incident … it wouldn´t have been healthy. Couldn´t have been, but … yeah. Sam basically:

But she´d seen him at his worst. She´s seen how he works alone and with others, how he fights and protects and was to the town like Atlas was to the sky: always the one to take the burden. Without anyone knowing. And to know that such a devoted person? Such an ardent protector? Can love oneself? It sure is a beautiful thought.

While, yes, those are by naught the most important reasons she seems to like him, but …. They seem important, don´t they? Because if one can´t even understand that Danny, at his core, needs to protect those he loves? That he´ll even endanger himself if it means that those he loves can be save and that he´s also still just plain old Danny? The pun-loving weirdo he is? Those do seem like rather nice qualities to have, don´t they?

He´s just so kind. When Sam is … not. Sure, she´d help, but she doubts that she´d have been able to come out of the whole ordeal as strong as Danny. As free of resentment. But that´s not true, is it? He´s not free of resentment or hatred. He just chose to bury it all so deep, that you´ll need a submarine to find it. Doesn´t make it any less destructive though. And just how destructive it had gotten … we´ll see that in the latter chapters. Let´s just say: there are regrets from all the people around.

And with those thoughts we´re onto Dash. Who watches Sam and Tucker dance around each other without Danny able to defuse their arguments. And apparently the last big one was such a shitshow, that the majority of the class watched the whole thing like onlookers like to watch trainwrecks.

But as surprised as everyone was about these fights, he knows it´s because Danny´s gone. But. Why. What had happened? Danny was suddenly just not there anymore. And no, Dash´s definitely not simping for Danny. Naaaah, just imagination I guess ~

But. The trio always had attention. They each had their role and so everyone knew who Danny Fenton was, which makes it even stranger that no one seemed to know anything.

And after hearing the teachers talking about CPS because the Fenton parents’ had seemed to know something? Well … I think Dash has serious regrets. He never thought they could be abusive. Whack jobs, sure. But abusive? Hindsight is always 20/20 in the end. Regardless of how much regret we have.

It all just makes so much sense to Dash. All the bruises and injuries even long after he´d stopped getting physical. Now, we all know that his parents weren´t (the sole) reason. Sure, their chases may have contributed a bit, but in the end the ghost fights were the reason. Dash does not know that though. And he probably never will.

Apparently, Dash once thought that Danny was out there fighting ghosts after the whole debacle with Ember and Youngblood, but had stopped after not seeing him do so for years. His next thought that he was ferrying weapons to Phantom. And. That´s certainly not WRONG per se. But also, that he got roughed up trying to prevent his parents from chasing Phantom. Which is also true in a certain sense, but not really the truth.

That whole train of thought leads to him a whole thing about the Fenton parents and their bigotry and how the city had changed their thoughts on ghosts, but those two had just gotten worse. That they just continually choose to think the worst of ghosts when there had been enough evidence that pointed towards that not being the case.

Dash also thinks about Danny´s perceived fear of ghosts and how that, in the end can´t really be all that true in the end. Because Ember and Youngblood? His fights with the Box ghost? The one time he fist-fought skulker? Were all counter arguments. And very good ones at that. Also, ones that Dash kind of admired, but that´s beside the point for now.

And all of that leads to Dash noticing how the city looked at the moment. Decrepit. Because the ghosts had been more violent after Phantom disappeared, even though he´d seen him once in between (we all know that was Dani anyways). And the major had stopped caring about the town as much. And doesn´t that say many things about Vlad? That he basically abandoned the town as soon as Danny vanished?

So. Dash is wondering about Phantom and Danny and all of the change that has been happening. Understandable. Change … happens. Most of the time it´s nothing bad or nefarious, but sometimes … sometimes change is scary.

The only thing Dash was even sure of was that je missed Danny Fenton - not that he´d ever tell anyone. But it says many things about him, doesn´t it?

And then we get to Vlad, obsessive Vampire wannabe that he is, his first thought is 'where is Danny'. Quite on point, really. And to know that he´d spied on the Fentons with multiple cameras and bugs? Well. It´s Vlad.

Vlad, being who he is, had to gaslight himself into thinking that 'no, the Fenton parents would never do something to their child'. Vlad, if you know that you´re basically gaslighting yourself that´s not going to WORK.

What he also noticed was the damaged and shut down portal in the Fenton lab. And of course, he tried to redirect that to his own feelings about the proto-portal that blew up in his face. Just when is he ever gonna let go of his weird obsession of 'he´s for SURE like ME. ONLY I can understand him'? Someday, I hope. I want to say never, but the things happening in the later chapters gave me some hope in that regard.

And of course, Vlad just continues his search. Not that it´s ever fruitful, because no one will tell him anything. Deserved tbh. Especially since he apparently let the ghosts out himself to lure out Danny. And in doing so basically destroyed the town… Wow, disregarding human life like that? Really? Again? I’m not even disappointed. Just resigned. VLAD BE NORMAL FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.

And of course, the only reason he cares about Danny is, that he´s losing his chance to steal him from under Jack´s nose. Because he´ll be an adult soon …. Whyyyy is he like this … and even if he says that he feels fear for him deep down. HOW deep down are we talking? Deeper than your moral compass, that´s for sure.

He apparently needs to find Danny before Vlad basically kills himself via haywire powers. That sounds incredibly fucked up if you ask me … and unhealthy. GO SEE A THERAPIST YOU LOON.

And then we have a little cameo of Clockwork who´s just like 'Be well my child. Just wait a little longer, your old home world is not yet ready for you to come back'. Which. Okay. Weird and slightly ominous, but okay.

Now, one of my favourite parts: social media.

Social media welcomes Danny back into metropolis (after a somewhat ominous sentence that 'If you´d like to leave anonymous tip, you can go to our website at ….' - not ominous at all, nope). Good news: PR is working hard and has announced that Danny´s in good health AND the Joker’s death was rules as self-defence! Whoop!

But even though so many people are celebrating and Gotham City is planning a party for the occasion and Bruce has done some PR resulting in a memorial for Joker´s victims, People on Twitter are split into two camps. The camp that is just happy that Danny´s save and sound and the camp that hates Danny even more now, that he inadvertently killed the Joker.

And that gets even worse when the audio recording of the questioning gets leaked, because of course it does. Danny can never catch a break, can he?

I do feel vindicated that so many people love Danny for chewing out batman though. Because that, indeed, was an awesome moment :3

But now the discussions have started up again. People are calling him a killer, suddenly he´s not a 'hero' anymore? And the recording was very obviously cut, making it seem as if Danny had wanted to kill the Joker from the beginning. And people …. Don´t like that. The two camps are basically going at each other´s throats and it´s not pretty.

One of the users has a very good response to that:

There are literally places where Danny starts talking mid-sentence after a cut. They weren’t trying very hard to hide their edits #I pity whoever fell for this shit #actually wait #no I don’t

Of course, the papers are already going at it. Typical. I swear they´re like sharks. Or piranhas. Or wasps when you´re having a barbeque. Or ants when you´re having a picnic.

Danny´s also on the Later night how! His first interview there, I´m so proud of him. He handled it so well!

And the two are interacting so sweetly? Like, they´re laughing and talking about silly things even though a big topic is how Danny´s still healing. I get the impression that he, too, would like to wrap Danny into bubble wrap so that he´d be save.

He´s also impressed that Danny´s able to take his injuries so well and is … quite alarmed at the answer being his family. And his godfather and his FREAKING BEARTRAP. Fuck Vlad. Have I said this already? Anyways. Fuck him. And not in a sexy way.

We get early birthday wishes and a discussion on the logistics of being a newly adopted billionaire son. How some things are not as different as they seem at first glance.

Danny talks about how actually living with Lex has been the biggest adjustment since Lex is now a new single parent. But also, a single parent to a fucking teenager of all things. But Lex is also trying to be there and to do things better - all things that Danny´s parents never did and honestly? The more I read about how they treated Danny and how they caused him so many issues via neglect the more homicidal I get.

And that´s just cute:

Luthor: He treats me very well for a man that has no experience with children or teenagers. I can’t speak for everyone my age, but one of the hardest parts about this age period is that most people still treat you like a child but expect you to act like an adult. [Nuñez nods] But Lex- I definitely think he has expectations, or at least standards, but I’ve never felt worried about what he would do if I didn’t meet those standards. He’s surprisingly good at… just- balancing my need for independence with his own concerns- especially with more recent events- while also trying to let me… be a kid, really.

Lex just genuinely being a good parent has my heart melting as if it´s ice cream and this story is a hot summer day.

And at the question on how it´s going with so much money to spend he just goes 'well, not that different. Kinda a billionaire magnet, but still a bit different living that lifestyle' Which, yeah. Both Sam and Vlad are filthy rich after all.

And then Danny complains about Vlad on live television and makes fun of is obsession with the Green Bay Packers and his awful taste in interior design and yes, he´s a gremlin and I love him xD

The internet adores the interview. As they should. Danny showed off his adorableness (is that even a word?) and many hearts were melted. Also: he´s just a funny little dude xD

Ah yes, we also have another anecdote about Kool-Aid man jack Fenton. And how much Danny had loved it that his father did that because Danny’s been sick and he´d called for them and it´s just AWWWWWWWWWW

Of course, the interviewer is a bit confused about the parents because he´d mainly heard bad things about them. And Danny, sweetheart that he is, tells him he certainly has good ones and gives examples but also kind of realizes that:

it’s been a long time since they were parents to me. And… maybe once upon a time they had been good parents, but I don’t think they were ever good people

And OOOOOF. My baby boi :')

Then we get to the birthday! Whoop! And Lex would really, really like to know who dared to upload the questioning to twitter please.

And because he´s not even sure why good old Jim is keeping all of those corrupt officers he´s just going to sew the GCPD and throw them all out. As a treat.

We also get more introspection on Lex´ thoughts on Harley and how he´s been preparing for Danny´s first therapy session with the woman. He also says that he can´t deal with her constantly running her mouth, but that Danny likes it and it´s Ivy who has to live with her (which is lowkey a burn)

Lex also knows that Danny´s hiding something from him, but that he´s been keeping under wraps.

When Lex gets a surprise call from his PA, he did not expect that it was because people just fricking love Danny and decided he needed birthday presents. It´s a whole room full of presents and oh boy. If we take the Mac´n´cheese aside, his favourite present is this HUGE Teddy bear as well as a galaxy night light and yeah. I understand xD

Danny´s delighted so suffice to say Lex isn´t all too mad about the whole affair. Of course, the PA films Lex´ and Danny´s reaction at the whole thing. Lex gets a copy and twitter does as well.

At Danny´s question how these people even know of his birthday the dry answer to that is 'It´s in your Twitter bio'. Ah yes, we love the dry humor in this house.

Twitter also adores the part of the interview on the Late-Night show where Danny´s asked about his favourite hero and his honest to God answer is Jazz. I cried - he´s so adorable.

Also: Spiderman is his favourite comic book hero. And with how similar these two are I´m not surprised xD

Everyone dies a little inside when Danny just casually says that he and his sister had to do all the chores, because their parents just WOULDN´T. And how his sister always took care of him. But also, how she always needed to be right, even if she wasn´t and for however adult she behaved, she´d still been a kid taking care of another kid. And how he´d kept forgetting that.

After that Lex is thinking about Danny and how his powers can both be a boon and a curse. He can do SO MUCH with them. Do so much good for himself or others, but he also can´t achieve his biggest dream because of them. And that´s just heartbreaking ...

But right now. They´re in the animal shelter to choose a cat. To say that Danny´s delighted would be an understatement if I ever heard one. And of course, Danny chooses the one cat that just hates the attention and the shelter. An after learning of her story? And how she´s slow to warm up and quick to nip? Well Reminds me and probably also Danny of a certain someone and so here we go. Cat acquired! A new achievement has been unlocked!

When Lex asks Danny why he´s even wanted to go to a shelter instead of a breeder the answer is so cute. 'I wanted to give one of them a second chance for a better life. Kind of like you did to me' Gosh my HEART. I´ll die of sugar overdose. Mercy also sends a video of the tail end of the conversation on her twitter account. Which beautifully shows how amazed and soft that makes Lex.

Of course Mercy and Lex annoy each other under that video and when Lena jumps into the conversation all hope is lost lmao. Danny learns of his aunt and well. Can´t hold the boy from family if you tried - Lex has regrets.

Next Kon brings Danny´s presents like a punk Santa Claus and is surprised that Lex left a window open for him. Well, joke´s on him because Lex sees him as a son now. He has no say in it. Not that he knows that as of yet. Or that Lex knows as of yet. But they´ll get there.

Danny lets Kon meet Pepper and even though it´s a bit awkward: it´s family.

Cass also gives him her wishes and Tucker, on a tear-stained pillow, does as well. God this boy needs something happy happening to him...

Sadly that´s when Death Day happens. It happens during a press conference where Lex gives a speech and Danny´s on the podium with him, even though he hadn´t really needed to be there.

Danny’s been rubbing his chest as if in pain and his expression has slowly gotten more and more pained and paniced. Lex has gotten worried.

And then Danny collapsed, started convulsing and … while the press loved getting that footage with camera shutters going off non-stop, Lex did certainly not. Sharks.

And that´s when Danny realized what day it is and oh boy. It´s not pretty. Danny´s just miserable when Lex tells him that it´s September 30th. Lex may not understand why, but still urges Mercy to remove everyone from the facility. Just. It´s too late for that already.

Danny screamed. He screamed as if dying. Loud and drawn out, with terror and agony on his face. And everyone´s just … frozen. Because that ... That was a death scream.

Mercy recovers first, telling Lex that they´d have to move him and Lex just … numbly nods.

The scene changes. We´re now with Clark and Lois and suffice to say that Clark is not well. He says that he will be fine, but … well. He still has the scream ringing in his ears. And Lois is also still processing the whole thing. Even when Clark was the only who´d heard Danny´s heart flatlining.

When Danny wakes up Lex is immediately in caretaker mode. Instantly asking Danny how he was feeling, giving him water, the works.

Danny´s just feeling awful and Lex wants to know why things happened as they did. When Danny just raises his shirt up to show Lex his scars, Lex is quietly but quite evidently horrified. The scars are glowing an angry green. Poor boy. The scars are showing up quite horridly to be honest.

While Lex is trying not to fall into alcoholism to deal with the situation and the revelations connecting to it, he gets a visitor. Let´s just say he´s not stoked about superman visiting him.

He´s flat out glaring at the man. And everything superman maybe wants to say comes out wrong. Not surprising with all the antagonism, even while superman wants to lend help.

Lex just flat out screams at him to get out and chucks the empty glass at him. Not that him being alone again makes Lex feel any better. But why did superman think this was a good idea? They´d never had a good talk. So why? He´d had to have known that this would´ve ended badly to begin with.

And now onto the last chapter for today. And when the notes say 'Hm, how can I make this hurt more?' then you know it will rip your heart out and trample on them.

So, the press has been having a blast with Danny´s collapse. They even out the scream into the media they published. Which is more than just bad taste if you ask me.

Clark is uneasy with the whole situation being as it is. The culprit mainly being the scream. It must have sounded horrid to have such an impact. I mean. It WAS a death scream, so of course he´d be worried, but … well. Danny´s heart had stopped.

And Clark also … doesn´t really know how to break the news to Kon or Jon. And when he wants to its already too late since the news have been talking about it on and off since the day had started.

Kon seems to feel guilty because he hadn´t heard anything, especially since he´d been on babysitting duty that day. But before he falls into a hole of self-deprecation, he asks Clark just what happened. Clark is entirely unhelpful at first. 'Just what the press has released'. As if that was all that he´d heard. But after a bit of wheedling, he elaborates: The heart rate speeding up as soon as Danny had shown discomfort, how quickly it happened. How he screamed immediately after he flatlined. How the heart had restarted without assistance but had been … slower after that. How Clark visited the penthouse the previous night and heard Danny´s heartbeat being the same as usual. He doesn´t mention Lex and his reaction though.

He also doesn’t share more about his thoughts on the relationship between Danny and his parents and how they were nearly criminally neglectful. How Danny had been afraid to live under the same roof as them and all of that in addition to Danny´s health problems? Well. He´s just happy that Lex had been able to give him a better home.

Of course, Kon immediately wants to go visit his brother, as is his right. Clark just doesn´t think it´s a good idea. You know what though? Fuck Clark. Let the boys spend time together. If something like this happened to me I´d also like some visits from my family.

Of course, Clark and Kon have a quarrel about it shortly before Kon storms off. And when Jon asks 'Did you two have a fight again?' Clark realizes that maybe he should consider this problem. Another time though. For now, though he´d have to talk about Danny with his son. What I really dislike is how he uses 'Kon´s friend Danny' instead of 'Kon´s brother' because honestly? The man should have realized their relationship by now.

Kon gets to the penthouse and deliberates how he should get in when Lex just straight up opens a window for him. Kon is prepared for a fight and Lex is just too tired to care.

I mean how done must the man be if he showed himself in SHORTS? And a polo shirt? For Lex that´s downright blasphemous to be honest. Doesn´t help that he looks exhausted.

Kon takes all of this in and realizes that for the longest time he hadn´t thought of the man as human. Or at least not as the sort of person to need rest and/or food.

While he still ruminates about all of that, Lex tells him that Danny would be waking up in a few minutes since he´d been sleeping in strange 57-minute increments. Always waking up screaming. God that must hit Lex hard.

But in the meantime, instead of just standing around they talk. About the noise isolation of the penthouse, Lex´ willingness to let Kon see his other son, Lex even offers Kon self-made food and that´s the point that surprises Kon the most. That Lex can cook. Lex being the way he is I’m not surprised about that though.

I mean, should he really be surprised? It´s Lex. The man doesn´t want to depend on someone for his livelihood so of course he can cook.

And in the deceptive calm that follows Kon asks if Danny´s going to be okay. Lex … doesn´t answer for some time, but when he does it´s for the bad news that this wasn´t the first and won´t be the last time. Of course, Kon wants to know how to make it stop … and Lex seems forlorn at the question. At the implication that Lex would be capable of doing it.

While Lex desperately wants to do that, to heal his son of something that causes him such a pain, it´s impossible. And that´s just another punch to the gut.

Lex, again, asks if Kon would like food. Upon the question of cereal being available Lex just tells Kon to 'pick his poison'. Kon sees the fruit loops and is even more confused at the titbit that Danny likes to crush them before he eats them (and isn´t that just a fun thought? I imagine it being quite therapeutic). Kon takes the lucky charms instead. To which I have to say no clue if it´s a good choice or not, I don´t know all of your fancy American cereals.

When Danny wakes with a scream Kon straight up zips upstairs to his bedroom, while Lex takes a bit more time, cleaning the dining area and being despondent because no medication will make the pain go away. Therefore, cursing his own uselessness. And Amity Park´s ignoring of Danny and his problems.

As Kon and Danny talk Lex lets us see deeper into his feelings by mentioning, that he´d not wanted anyone to talk to Danny, but that the emotions would help Danny heal. They´d amass and bring ectoplasm with them, which is what Danny needed to heal.

Therefore, in theory, Danny can sense any and all emotions. He´d have to focus on them though, to know what they actually mean.

So Kon and Danny talk and banter and pet Pepper and Lex is just there, basically thinking about a great many things, including both of his sons and how he may have fucked up his relationship with one of them. He´s also surprised about Kon going to school. Which. Lex. LEX. Why did you think otherwise??

When Kon is gone, they talk about therapy again and how much Danny probably needs it. How Lex would probably need it as well, but can´t considering that his board of directors as well as the public would see it as a sign of instability and therefore boot him out of the company. Yeah, he really did not make many friends, did he?

And on the question why Danny doesn´t want it despite Jazz wanting to become a therapist? Danny tells Lex about Spectra. I hate that woman, so, so much tbh. She deserves the WORST.

When Danny calls himself a freak of nature, Lex calmly explains to him that no, he´s not. He overcame nature, he lived despite the odds. He may be rare, whichever species he identifies as, but is still a person like any other. Perhaps even stronger, since Danny just keeps on fighting against the odds.

And Danny admits that he´s just afraid of being right. Lex admits that he´s afraid of many things - losing everything he built for example. But also, that we can´t be afraid forever and can I just say? Preach.

Fear is a very, very powerful thing. It can consume us until we are but a husk of ourselves in our daily lives. It can take our light and our joy and our love and leave us with nothing but itself for company. And fighting against it is hard. So, so very hard. Maybe one of the hardest things to do even. But that does not mean we should stop fighting, does it? Regardless of how hard it gets; life can still be worth living for.

And Danny does promise to at least try. I´m incredibly proud of him for that. Because it´s a hard step to take and one that takes courage. Courage that a great many people do not have.

Then we come to Lena and Lex who have a sibling talk to last the ages. That Fatherhood suits Lex, even though he has the feeling it makes him age twice as fast. But that he also looks so much happier nowadays.

And then Lena destroys the good mood by asking Lex if he´d talked to their father recently. That he´s been asking about Lex. Who would rather jump into a vat of acid than talk to the man. And in the light of what will happen later? Yeah, that´s a good choice. That man is just pure malice incarnated, but we´re not there yet. This is just the foreshadowing.

The man apparently also wants to meet Danny and Lex would rather that not happen. When Lena just looks puzzled about that, he elaborates that none of them had a good relationship with their father. So why would she even ask? For hope of a happy family? She´s known them her whole life, shouldn´t she know better? But I guess that´s the hopeful optimist that´s speaking out of her.

And in the end, Lex does admit that fatherhood, that the content feeling he has by taking care of Danny, that that is happiness. And that´s just cute. He´s a father peeps. He´s a happy father :3

The end comes upon us with Harley hugging the living daylights out of Danny and talking with him. Danny goes right for the heavy stuff with the sentence "

“When I was fourteen, I died,” Danny told her suddenly, giving her reason to pause. “I don’t think I ever really came back.”

And just ouch. True, but ouch.

And with that this part comes to its end.

A great many things happened in just five chapter. So many words, so much and yet so little time going by. Things are starting to fall into place, don´t they?

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